#not listening to any of its songs to not spoil it is being HARD

[everythingwasnormalhere]

guess who got tickets to watch the book of mormon? :3

[miralunawritez]

Here are some dating hcs for Velvet and Veneer yall can eat up while I work on requests

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Veneer:

Absolutely PRAISES you

You ate today? Praise. You picked out an outfit? Praise. Posted on social media? PRAISEEEE.

Spoils the FUCK out of you

You own items from every designer brand you can think of. New iPhone model? Consider it bought.

100% blows up your phone with tiktok videos of weird millennials, cat videos, and edits of him

"Veneer, its been 30 minutes and you already sent me 68 videos?"

Definitely looks at your face to see if you're watching the videos he sent you

"Did you see the one of the cat?" "Baby theres like 46 videos of cats in here"

MATCHING OUTFITS!!!!!

He wants everyone to know your his so you guys match everytime y'all go out together

Writes songs with you (______ by Veneer (ft. Y/N) or vice versa)

You guys have about 5 songs with both of yall in it

Clingy as shit

Anytime he gets he will cling to you, hugging you from behind while you do your makeup, holding your hand while you get dressed, arm around your shoulders while y'all walk around in public, etc.

Listens to all of your songs and is the first to hear your new ones

"This is amazing (Y/N)!" immediately added to his playlist

Posts you all over his socials, this boy is so proud of himself for having the privilege of being your boyfriend

"Look (Y/N), this picture of us got 4 million likes!"

Uses pet names like my love, my angel, baby, sweetheart, darling

"I love you so much my angel"

Cant stand up for himself for shit but will fight a bitch for you

"Veneer..its okay, all they said was they dont like me" you say as he finishes flaming the person

Like I said before, he plays the piano for you while you sing

He cherishes moments like this, being able to listen to your voice while he plays the music for you

Velvet (fem reader):

Spoils you HARD

You glance at it for a second? You have 3 of the same item now

Acts like she gets annoyed when you cling to her but she secretly loves it

She scoffs as you hug her but immediately pulls you back in once you let go

Unlike Veneer, she likes to keep y'alls relationship on the low (the people find out anyways)

"Velvet why dont you ever post pictures of us?" "Theres some weird people out there (Y/N)"

Once the people find out she posts you nonstop

"Which picture should I post? This one...orrrr..this one? Fuck it, I'm posting both"

Like Veneer, she loves to match so you guys match all the time

The people eat it up, loving every outfit you guys put together

Makes sure you are safe when at her shows

"Velvet, is this necessary?" you say as 4 bodyguards surround you

Writes songs about you and plays them for you before performing them

"Do you like it?" "Velvet I-" "Of course you do"

Not big on PDA but will cling to you when you guys are alone or just around Veneer

She will hold your hand in public though to make sure you are safe and dont leave her side

Gets jealous really easily

She HATES it when you give Veneer any over your attention, even if its just you passing him a makeup brush. She also gets really jealous when you are featured in other peoples songs and when you perform with other people.

She hated you at first, absolutely despised you

"I actually hated you when I first met you so I wouldn't test your limits if I were you"

Does your makeup for you and you do hers (matching, duh)

"Dont we look so cute?" she says as she holds you face against hers while looking in the mirror

When you guys performed together she kissed you at the end of the show

The crowd went absolutely wild, so did the paparazzi <3

Bonus hcs that I thought of and thought they were funny and wanted to add

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veneer:

Sits outside the bathroom door while you use the bathroom

Like deadass sits on the floor outside of the bathroom door (occasionally shoving his fingers under the door)

Ticklish as fuck

Shows you the dances him and velvet made up as kids

Favorite show is Family Guy

Never learned how to swim

Poor baby still has to use a ring floatie

You guys die of laughter while going through each others tiktok drafts

He has a few videos of him using the bold glamour filter in there

Has the windex bottle laugh (contagious as fuck, has you rolling on his bed and kicking your feet while laughing)

Really good at character impressions and faking accents

Lowkey athletic, he's really good at baseball

Velvet (fem reader):

You guys play fight A LOT

She initiates its every single time

She can pinch with her toes

Pinches your legs with her toes every chance she gets (leading to play fighting and wrestling)

SUPER goofy when yall are alone

This girl has you cracking up

Likes to do funny challenges with you

Doing each others makeup blind folded, trying to guess what the other person is saying while having music blasted in their ears, etc.

Looks you right in the eyes with a very serious face before charging at you and pinching you (with her fingers)

Has that demonic wheeze laugh (the one that sound like goose and it's contagious as fuck)

Her laughs have both of yall rolling, like face turning red, eyes watering, cant breathe, and smacking the closest thing to yall

Smacks you repeatedly when you lay on her hair, not stopping until you get up

You guys cant take anything seriously when yall are alone and its past 10:30 at night

Seriously, just looking at each other has y'all pissing y'alls pants from laughter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[j0kers-light]

Innocent!reader , wearing a summer dress (I know it’s December 😭) , and not being aware of its effect on joker . Please bring back innocent!reader , need more of her 😭🩷🩷

His Lighthouse: Summatime Fine (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Summatime Fine - Oneshot

Image Credit

It’s the long awaited return of innocent!reader! Joker's sweet girl is finally back in this long awaited part two!

Its not December anymore anon and I am terribly sorry for filling this ask so late. I come bearing a lil something something as a thank you for your patience! I encourage you to listen to the song that inspired me to write this oneshot! Enjoy! 💖✨

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

You are a f__king tease and the worst part? You were completely unaware of the effect you had on Joker.

He thought he purged that blissfully ignorant demeanor of yours, but alas you were still a virgin at heart. A part of him loved it— another wanted to fully corrupt you until nothing innocent remained. Yet you were still his sweet little doll he so desperately wanted to defile.

Your childlike view of the world was so painstakingly cute, it made him want to vomit. Your natural kindness practically begged him to destroy it. Would it be wrong if he spoiled the secrets of your youth? Santa wasn’t real, neither was the Easter bunny and gasp! Okay, he’d let you keep the tooth fairy. That one was too cute to ruin.

He loved exchanging your baby teeth for jewelry and other pretty things. Granted that it fit under your pillow.

Joker found it his mission to protect your naivety from the gruesome world. The extremely sheltered childhood you endured molded you into the person you were today. Joker could live out the rest of his days in your pink little bubble, but he knew that was impossible with his lifestyle.

You were still shy and bashful, uncertain of your own body, but the worst of them all—you were unaware of the control you held over Joker.

If you batted your lashes, he was a goner—forever doomed to follow behind you like a lovesick puppy, wagging his tail. He could come to terms better if you were intentionally trying to seduce him. He could fight back if you were in on this game of cat and mouse but that wasn’t the case.

Your body was still a prize to be had and poor naïve you did not know that the situations you put yourself in were utter torture to Joker.

Getting stuck in the dryer with just your butt sticking out? Stretching on the couch and practically pushing your breasts in his face? Or when you knelt on the floor with your mouth wide open begging for cock?

Okay, maybe that last one was a fap dream, but still!

How did you not know what you were doing to him? You still went about the apartment cooking and cleaning in those skimpy clothes, and he loved how you still bit your lip and looked away whenever he gave you a compliment.

You adored his silly jokes and that smile of yours would always make him a simp. He took your virginity, yet nothing really changed about you.

Your stupid parents protected you from anything remotely sexual and it was now Joker’s job to educate you. And boy did he have his work cut out.

He would try and instigate things, whether smacking your behind as you walked past or palming your breasts mid make out sessions, all to no avail. One night Joker dry humped you right to the edge of bliss only for you to fall asleep, leaving him raging hard and dumbfounded.

He couldn’t believe you fell asleep during foreplay. It was a blow to his ego and he had no other choice but to jerk off and fall sleep, questioning if he could put up with this for much longer.

He had to take a step back and remember your lack of experience. You didn’t know that you were horny and even after a trip to the clinic, you were still clueless.

You were a child compared to his extensive knowledge of sex. If Joker didn’t tell you his intentions outright, then his dirty comments and attempts at flirting would go through one ear and out the other.

Despite all of this, his little Bunny was smart. You craved knowledge on this secret world of sex—your subconscious actions proved that much; and what better teacher than himself?

Your first night was all about you but Joker wanted to change that. He wanted to test your skills giving pleasure. He remembered the promise he made, ‘I’ll let ya have a uhh, taste, another day Bunny.’

He was a man of his word and let you explore.

Joker was amazed to discover that you lacked a gag reflex and loved the taste of his cum. It was only natural that he teased you about it. “My sweet girl don’tcha re-mem-ber? You gave me such an attitude about how you taste. What was it? Uhh tangy and salty?”

You reminisced back to the night that you lost your virginity. Joker kissed you after eating you out (much to your disgust) and now you felt embarrassed for subconsciously craving his cum.

“I wonder.... what do I taste like, sweet girl?” Joker purred.

His words always made you feel funny.

It happened to be a kink of yours Joker explained. An idea, thing, or act that made you aroused. Every night it seemed you added more and more to your growing list.

And Joker’s influence didn’t stop there. He took educating you very seriously and found informative sex-ed material for you to read in your downtime. He wanted you to know about your anatomy and how to take care of it.

Your parents should’ve been the ones teaching you this stuff but alas.. They were absolute morons.

It was embarrassing to learn about your own body another person (even worse from a man), but you were grateful that Joker took the time and cared enough to do it.

You didn’t want to imagine the alternative of being taken advantage of due to your lack of experience. Joker was a bit rough but what else did you expect from him? It could have been a lot worse.

It was a miracle that he took the time to talk you through every step of sex and then exposed you to the wonders of aftercare.

You couldn’t ask for a better partner. It was why you did well to study hard and learn everything that you could. You actually looked forward to ‘pop quiz’ days. For obvious reasons.

Joker made you lie back on his chest in front of your giant floor length mirror. When you were in position with your legs spread wide open, the test would begin. “Mmm, whaT is this?”

You squirmed as his fingers stroked your outer lips in a v shape, making them slick with your juices. “It’s ah! That’s my labia!”

You felt, more than heard Joker’s approving hum and he didn’t waste any time finding the next body part to quiz you on.

Joker forced you to keep your eyes open and pay attention despite the overwhelming pleasure. He would bite your neck if it took you too long to remember. The sharp pain did little to jog your brain nor did his fingertips rubbing fast circles on your bundle of nerves.

“I think you know what this is.” He laughed as you jerked wantonly in his hold.

Try as you might, you couldn’t answer, especially not when Joker plunged two fingers deep into your pussy and started thrusting them. “What is this, hey shushhhh... hush now doll. Focus. What is this spongy... sensitive... ooey gooey spot that’s melt~ting under my touch?”

So what if you failed that night’s pop quiz? You disqualified yourself by cumming but you still felt like a winner.

Slowly but surely Joker was introducing you to the ways of sex with new and exciting lessons. Soon you would be the insatiable vixen he secretly desired.

If only you would cooperate. It seemed like after sex was over, you were back to your shy, timid self—hiding underneath the covers and asking J, “Did I do okay?”

All he could do was chuckle under his breath ‘It's always the shy ones,’ before tackling you with kisses.

His Princess was a handful yet no one else would have the honor of knowing you so intimately. Joker would kill anyone who dared try. Over time he coped with the fact that you would always be his sweet girl, as innocent as spring.

Which is why he dedicated himself to protecting you. Somehow you convinced J to visit a farmer’s market with you in the Cauldron.

It was a beautiful day out and the people milling around the market brought a lively festive atmosphere to the area.

The crowd was tolerable, but Joker was being a grumpy stick in the mud, preferring to be holed up in an underground hideout or better yet, in your apartment, far away from others. The things he did to make you happy. However, it wasn’t all terrible.

The crowd was an insignificant backdrop when his sweet girl dressed up to the nines stole the show. It took you almost an hour to doll yourself up, but he very much appreciated the final product. You were the focal point in all your beauty.

Your colored skin was fitted with your signature hue of bubblegum pink. Today’s summer dress had detailing that followed the curve of your back right down the bodice. He loved the puffy sleeves and the swooped neckline on you.

You had stopped to quite literally smell the roses, while Joker counted the buttons down your back. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen...

“J? Did you hear me?” Your sweet voice danced on the wind right into his ear. There was never a time that Joker wasn’t laser focused on you. As if he’d miss a single word you said.

“Uhhhh, yeah.” He fished out a dub for you, “Here, pretty girl.”

Ugh you loved the numerous pet names he held for you. Of course, he valued you as a person and knew your real name, but sweet girl, princess, and bunny just sparked something in you. It made you feel special.

You smiled wide and turned back around to exchange the twenty dollar bill with the vendor. It didn’t dawn on you that Joker gave you real money—the both of you were too distracted to make it into a big deal.

Little did you know, Joker was analyzing in the bun you styled your hair in. It was so perfect, not a single strand out of place. You even wore a cute pearl bow as a functional hair clip. Everything matched to create a timeless look.

He stole gifted you a pair of pearl earrings and they glistened each time you moved your head. The cutout of your dress made it impossible to wear a bra, but Joker was taller than you and could see straight down your front. Your tits looked good from any angle.

Random people in the crowd admired the living doll walking amongst them and if not for your scary guard dog (ahem Joker) anyone brave enough could’ve walked up and hit on you.

That would never happen on his watch. Only he could have you.

Joker invested so much into you; it would be a shame for some lesser man to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Joker didn’t care how he looked glued to your side; he wasn’t leaving.

You were all dressed up in pink and ballerina heels with your tall, imposing boyfriend cloaked in black and metal. A grunge king with his ethereal princess. You and Joker were opposites in so many ways, yet the relationship just worked.

He loved seeing the innocent wonder shine through your e/c eyes as he explained different kinds of knives and torture methods, and you enjoyed helping him stir cake batter after the horrific lesson. Nothing he did scared you away. J could do no wrong in your sheltered eyes.

Speaking of your innocence, it was tangible in the afternoon air. It must’ve been the way the sun beamed down on you like a spotlight or perhaps it was the dress you were wearing. Either way, Joker couldn’t stop staring.

How could he ignore the way you wore your hair? You carried yourself with a regal splendor, even if you were self-conscious almost all of the time. You were quite the sight to be seen in his opinion.

You thanked the stall owner and lifted your new bouquet of flowers to your nose.

You took in the delicate scent; Joker drank in the sight of you. Times like this he wished he carried that Polaroid camera with him more often. He could take a thousand pictures of you and still fail to capture your beauty properly.

It was the little things you did that made him want to stay with you. If he lost you? No. He didn’t want to consider the possibility. He was already insane; you were the only thing keeping him from turning into a killing machine. You and your infinite beauty, he could barely breathe right while in your presence.

You were caught in a ray of sunlight and Joker’s eyes widened in awe. Those sunlit eyes of yours… they could rival the world’s finest gems.

And somehow you were blissfully ignorant of the destruction that one single look from you could inflict. Hence the state Joker found himself in.

“Is there something wrong, J? Your eyes look really spacey.” You lowered your flowers and devoted your full attention on Joker.

And that seemed to make the situation worse. Undiscovered shades of green swirled within Joker’s eyes. He was most definitely spaced out and you were to blame. He couldn’t take it anymore.

He swore under breath and grabbed your hand. You yelped and tried your best to keep up with Joker’s long strides in your dainty heels. A few people looked on in concern, but none dared to speak up against Joker.

He was a man on a mission.

There weren’t that many options at this dumb farmer’s market, but he’d make do. He had to.

“J-J.. where are you taking us?” You gasped as he shoved the nearby park’s restroom door open and flung you inside.

The lock dial turned to occupied and his mask was ripped off. Then it was just you and Joker in the cramped public bathroom.

It wasn’t what he had in mind and definitely not the best locale, judging by your adorable pout. Both of you knew that you deserved better accommodations than this.

You didn’t have a chance to argue since Joker backed you into the door to cup your face. Your flowers fell from your grasp in order to hold onto Joker’s hair.

His kisses had a way of erasing your thoughts. Your only brain function was breathing and moving your lips to match Joker’s urgent pace.

He devoured you whole and only pulled back to catch his breath. “I need ya. Right. Now.”

He was already lifting your dress up when you replied, “H-Here?” You glanced around the stall in open disgust. Surely, he was joking. His devilish smile said otherwise.

“Are you wet for me, baby doll? Lemme check.” Joker dropped to his knees and grinned, finding a wet spot already ruining your panties.

Your mouth might deny, deny, deny but your body craved J without a doubt.

Joker peeled your panties to the side and lapped at your juices. Your instincts cautioned you to be quiet, (this was a public place after all) but Joker reached up and pulled your hand away from your mouth.

“None of that, doll. I wanna hear ya. Cry out if it uh, feels good. I know it doesss.” He resumed his focus back on your pussy and indulged himself like a starved man.

Joker’s loud slurps and eager swallows filled the hollowed room and forced you to hold onto his hair for balance. You refused to touch anything inside this place for support.

The back of your head banged against the door, “J, it feels weird.. please I can’t..”

He pulled away to lock eyes with you. “Aht ahttt. You know better, Princess. If you’re gonna cum, then... use your uhh, big girl words, ‘n tell me. None of that shy girl s__t.”

You totally forgot about Joker’s rules in the throes of passion. You were educated now, so he expected you to speak accordingly.

You mentally corrected yourself. Your pussy felt weird because Joker was eating you out with every intention of making you climax on his face. Now if only you could articulate that out loud..

He flicked his tongue against your clit, causing you to lose your train of thought. It only took a moment, but you cried out and came over Joker's tongue. He was upset that you didn’t express yourself more, but he still growled in delight before cleaning up his treat.

He stood up and bent down towards you, but you turned your head away, “Eww no kisses!!”

Now that got a laugh from your clown. You still thought your own cum was yucky. He was still chuckling to himself as he undid his belt. The sharp chime it made always got your attention.

You raised an eyebrow when he began grinding his hard on into your thigh. “J-Joker?” Did he not get what he wanted?

“I saidddddd. I need ya, Y/n. It’ll be quick, I p-prom— oh f__k!” Joker moaned mid-sentence, feeling your wet pussy welcoming his dick inside. It felt like coming home after a long day, you were amazing.

You knew how big Joker was, you held his girth in your hands before. He was a big boy and yet he respected the size difference every time the two of you joined. Slow and steady was the game until he was flush with your hips.

He would remain there until you nodded that it was okay to move.

Just because you were no longer a virgin didn’t mean your pussy could accommodate him so quickly. There would always be a stretch to fight through and overcome. But after a while, you gave him the green light to start.

It felt criminal to depart from your warmth, but that delicious friction was sought after by the both of you. The first few thrusts were always the most intense and your toes curled in your heels as Joker pistoled back inside you with a guttural groan. He readjusted his grip on you right before he pulled out again—only to bottom out at a snail’s pace. The heavy drag of him brushing against your walls was just too good to rush.

Now that Joker pinned you to the door, you could cling onto his shoulders and relax.

You trusted him to hold you steady, like he’d ever let you fall. He loved how you buried your face into his shoulder when it became too much. It gave him the perfect opportunity to kiss along your neck and coo in your ear.

“M’sorry, Princess. I just need to.. I just need. Agh, I can’T.. get enough of ya.” Joker groaned into your ear.

His pace suddenly picked up and rattled the door against your back with each powerful thrust. Should anyone walk by the park restroom, it was obvious what was happening inside. That thought made you gush even more on Joker who immediately took notice.

“Look at yoooooooou my pretty. Little. Slut. Taking cock in some uh, public stall. You that needy doll?” His grip tightened on your waist as he sped up even more. You swore you could feel him hitting your brain, he was so deep.

The wet slap of his balls repeatedly hitting your thighs rang out in the empty stall. There was no way you were walking out of here and Joker knew it.

But how dare he blame this on you? You were minding your own business at the market before he dragged you in here! You had to put your foot down. “No! Ah, y-you’re the needy one, J!”

He was too far gone in your pussy to hear your weak cries but you finally got his attention by clenching down on his dick. He shuddered to a standstill before regaining his momentum. There was no way you were becoming self-aware of your charms and using them against him. Joker glanced your way, only to find that you were already staring at him.

He couldn’t take your fluttering walls and your smoldering eyes.

Both were just too much so he buried his face in your neck. “I know, sweet girl! J-Just uh.. f__k, meeee. Why are you soooo tight?” Joker had to catch his breath and get your permission. “I need ya to cum, Princess. Ya got one more?”

Two orgasms seemed to be your limit and it was sweet enough of Joker to ask if you could cum again instead of expecting it from you. He made sure you stayed hydrated to get the most out of your big O’s.

At this point you were cock drunk, so he took your subby uh huh’s as a yes and smiled wide. “Atta girl, go on... don’t be... nghh, shy bunny. Let me have itttt.”

The audible slaps, Joker’s praise in your ear, and the eye rolling thrusts he pounded into your pussy, it was all too much to handle.

Your whole body shook in Joker’s hold as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your nails punctured holes in his jacket, not that he minded, and you crossed your ankles over his back—locking him right where you wanted him to be.

It was a nonverbal signal for him to let go and cum inside.

Joker chanted your name as each rope of cum shot into your cunt. He never came this much; it was making him dizzy, however his grip on your never faltered. The last thing he would ever do was drop his Princess regardless of his physical state. He just sagged his weight onto the door, squishing you further into the hard surface.

The room was quiet save for the collective pants of air you and Joker took. You breathed in his exhale and vice versa until he leaned back to gaze into your eyes.

He wasn’t surprised to find they were heart shaped and hazy. He had no doubt that his were similar. “You feelin’ alright, doll?”

Was he kidding? You felt amazing! At least, the parts that you could feel. There was a numb, tingling buzz spreading throughout your body after such a powerful orgasm. You were in the arms of your lover riding your afterglow; there was no doubt you were satisfied.

You caressed Joker’s scars with a big smile. It slipped your mind that he was the one that instigated this interaction. But almost like clockwork, the sex was over, and you were reverting back to your naïve ways.

“I want strawberries, J.”

Joker almost dropped you after hearing that.

Only his sweet girl would blurtout something so random after sex. He wheezed out a laugh and with great care, carried you over to the sink area.

You made a noise upon contact and Joker rolled his eyes at your inner germaphobe having a conniption. It was too little, too late to be acting out. You did just have sex with him in a public bathroom after all.

“Calm down, Bunny. We’ll uhh, clean you up, later. Lemme fix ya back pretty. Mkay?” He waited until you pouted and eventually nodded before starting.

Joker wetted a wad of paper towels and wiped your pussy and inner thighs as best he could. The soap was abysmal, so he went without. Your panties were soiled with his cum, but it wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last occurrence. Joker secretly liked you walking around with a reminder of what he did to you.

Joker was fixing you back presentable when you batted your lashes at him. “Okay.... I still want strawberries. Can I get some, J?”

He was still confused. How could your mind quickly bounce from sex to fruit? “Huh?”

“J.... listen! I saw some fresh strawberries at the farmer’s market like a few stalls down. Can you buy me a pint? Ooh and replace my flowers? You.... you um stepped on them when you...”

The tips of your ears turned red and Joker knew why. It was far too easy to tease you.

He tipped your chin up, “When I whaT, Bunny?” A quick glance over at the floor revealed the trampled flowers underfoot.

You didn’t need to explain. They were no doubt a victim of his efforts to pound into you without abandon. The flowers were replaceable and judging by your watery eyes, he’d better buy you new ones and fresh strawberries or he wouldn’t hear the end of it. Whatever his sweet girl wants, she gets. That was his motto from the very beginning, and he considered himself a man of his word.

Joker sighed to himself, nodding. “Yeah, yeah. Let's go get my gooo~oood girl a reward then we’ll errr head on home, ‘kay? I might get ya dirty again before I get ya all cleaned up.”

“How does that sound, Princess?” Joker bopped you on the nose. Your bashful nod was your only response. Now that wouldn’t do!

He bent down to kiss your cheek, making sure that the exaggerated mwah got a response out of you. Just his luck, it did. He smiled wide at the peal of laughter you let out. “Okay!”

His sweet girl laughing was the best sound in the world.  

[slvtiny]

Warm Blanket

This whole live had my mind going haywire cuz I keep going back to these live snippets, Woo gives a different kind of comfort tbh.

I've had this thought, and it makes me kick my feet in the air....

.................................................

PAIRING: IDOL WOO X PRODUCER Y/N <afab reader>

FT: ATINY, SEONGHWA, HONGJOONG(mentioned), MINGI(mentioned)

WARNING ⚠️: periods(menstruation), crying, anxiety, kinda cringe at some places,

(though it's just a Fluffy little brainrot lmk if I missed any)

Enter to be tagged: 💌

What if you're his gf but also a producer at kq. You've never denied being in a relationship, but you've never disclosed it either. You are working on his solo album, but they have a tour, so you tag along to travel, be together, and write your love song. As always, Ms. PERIOD knocs your door at the most busy segment of your month, but you just need hugs and cuddles.

You've been up all day producing and scribbling lyrics for him and you just needed his review on the lyrics to get started on making the demo

You are a producer at kq. You usually work with Joongie and Mingles. But lately, you've been working on Woo's solo album

Your pms and cramps have made it difficult for you to work throughout the day. In fact, you had been crying trying to finish up the work.

But you had finally overcome the tears and finished your work as you proudly strudel towards Woo's hotel room across the hallway.

The whole floor and the one were both booked for KQ staff. Knowing that you'd be in your boyfriend's room, you and joong had decided to convert one of the rooms into a makeshift studio so you could continue working on the album.

Fiddling with the key card, you hummed to the tune of the song you'd written for him. Not knowing he was on live, you give the door to your boyfriend's room a slight knock before letting yourself in with the keycard he'd given you.

With the chime of the lock system, the door opened, and you walked in, letting the door close behind you with a similar chime as it autolocked. You remove out shoes as you slip into your slipers and walk towards the table where Woo was.

The light pitter-patter of your feet, your soft sniffles(your nose is slightly stuffy due to the crying sesh), the scent of you had already caught Woo's attention. As he turns his head to you, extending his arms open for you, forgetting the fact that he hadn't told his fans about you.

You extend the iPad you'd written the lyrics in along with your little recorder you used to record demo samples, as you waddle your way to him. As you reach closer you realize that he's on live and you freeze slightly and then pull yourself together and try to be profesional.

"Oh I didn't know you were doing a live, I'll return later." You said backing up slightly.

Woo looked at the camera and smiled slightly, turning back to you he says,

"No need they wanted me to spoil something anyway."

He winks, motioning you to give him the iPad and recorder. You do as he demands and stand beside the table to avoid being in the camera's view.

"Atinyyy, say hi to J PD, she is working really hard on something I wanted to do for you, even when we are on tour across the world!!"

You giggle and blush. He teases you by calling you Jung PD/ J PD, ever since you'd had a drunken blabbing about how you wanted to marry him someday.

"Hi Atiny, I hope you like the surprise when it's out" you say extending your palm in front of the camera to wave. While Woo rummages through the drawers to find his wired earphones.

"Brief?" Woo looks at you, his tone soft and polite. "Yes, I wrote some lyrics for track1159am and altered it slightly. I also made a new sheet for the pice I told you about before. I'm kind of stuck between the tone, ig if you give it a listen and tell me which you think fits more I can go get the demo done."

You take a deep breath after your little brief, Woo nods pulling a chair across from him and taps on its seat telling you to sit.

He reads a few comments while telling his fans about the process of making music and what he's about to do.

'''J PD's voice is so cute😍, can we talk to her??''' ;

'''Thank you J PD🫶''' ;

'''Oppa, can we talk to J PD please🫣'''..

Woo read out loud, making you blush harder everytime he said "J PD "

"Woah!! They love you already!!" He said chuckling, "Do you want to talk to Atiny??"

"Okay.." You utter softly

"Atiny be polite okay, talk to J PD while I finish my work okay", he turns to you handing you his phone which he was using to read the comments "J PD have fun talking to my Atiny hmm?"

"Yes sure" you giggled at Atiny's reactions in the comments

Time passes as he continues to scribble on notes and repeating your voice memos, while you talk to Atiny traveling from topic to topic. You had explained them theories of music and how they are used in the studio, some questions they had, some ideas they gave that you'd note down on Woo's phone for later. Woo could tell you had made friends with his Atiny and it made him happy, that you were comfortable with them and vice-versa.

You were talking about songs, recommending some and getting agreements from Atiny. When some Atinys mentioned certain songs that had helped them when they felt down during their period weeks and you started talking on that and bonding with them as you shared some tricks your grandmother had taught you.

You get startled when Woo jolts in his seat, turning to you with concern in his eyes, completely forgotten the camera and the live and the fans of his you had been talking to for the past 20 minutes.

"You cried??" Tone soft and worried, iPad flung to the table, recorder still playing, sitting in his lap as he drags his chair close to yours. You're ears red with embarrassment as you recall your crying session from before, you look down, Woo's phone long forgotten, kept on the table.

You nod slightly, fiddling with your rings.

Woo pulls your chair closer, unknowingly bringing you into the frame though just a little.

"Baby are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened?" His hand on your cheek, his thumb gliding as though wiping your tears. The sudden shift of environment triggers you as your mood swings hit you with another wave of emotions.

"Mood swings" you utter under your breath as a sob escapes with it followed by a stabbing cramp making you wince and hold your stomach, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me you were on your period, baby we could postpone all work. You need rest. Want me to bring you something??"

"It's okay I'll just finish that and the.." You stop talking trying not to cry due to the pain. It felt like your cramps were waiting to recharge and strike you hard.

"No You're not working anymore, you're going to lay down and have some soup and then nap."

Woo says sternly but still softly so as to not alarm you in anyway.

Woo gives you warm water and starts winding up the little work set up. He reaches for the iPad and his phone when he realises the live was on.

He slightly panics and reads the comments anyway. Atinys waerw confused in the comments, trying to figure out what was going on and if you were his girlfriend or not. As Atinys realise that he's back and he's reading their comments they stop texting each other and prompt everyone to give him time to say something, reading this he takes a deep breath before letting it all out.

"Atiny, I know you might be mad at me, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I was afraid having seen the way this news is usually received by fans in general. I will get straight to it. Yes, you're right she is my girlfriend, and I love her a lot, and I hope you understand. Though I didn't choose for this to happen, I don't regret it at all. I don't know what you think but I hope you take this badly."

''' WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR YOU WOO🤧🤧'''

'''WE SUPPORT YOU BOTH💖🤧'''

'''LOVE J PD ❤️ '''

Reading all the positive comments gives Woo relief as he thanks Atiny

"Please take care of us and love us the same Atiny" he says with a smile

''' GO TAKE CARE OF J PD❤️'''

'''TIPS FOR PERIOD CRAMPS.... LUV U J PD💗'''

''' WOO GO GET YOUR GIRL CHOCOLATE 🍫 '''

Woo reads the tips as he reads them out loud turning to you when he hears you sob harder.

"I'm so sorry, I ruined it"

"Huh??"

"I ruined your relationship with Atiny, it's my fault I ruined everything"

"No baby you didn't ruin anything"

"I did though"

"No love you haven't ruined anything, they love you, and they love us, they're happy about it see"

He shows you the comments filled with hearts and '''WE LOVE YOU J PD'''

"I'm sorry Atiny, thank you.." You say softly between sobs. Woo takes back his phone and tells Atiny that you need naps and ends the live.

He hugs you tight, while sending a text to the gc of the news and tells the Manger about it before ordering some soup and chocolates for you as directed by Atiny.

He then puts his phone down pulling apart from the hug. He runs to your luggage carrier to take the period towel. He lays it down on the bed and helps you lay down on it. He gets your hot bag you'd been carrying and warms some water in the kettle provided by the hotel, to put in it.

The door bell rings and he rushes to open it, revealing Seonghwa holding snacks, the chocolate and soup he had ordered and some balm for the pain as he had been recommended by his sister whom he'd given a quick call to make sure Woo wouldn't give you extra headache by giving you chocolate.

He walks past a stunned Woo and sets everything on the bed side table.

"Hey buddy! You okay?"

You were comfortable with Hwa he treated you like his own little sister and cared for you as if you were blood related.

"Nooo tummy hurt" you blabber like a child. He pats your head lightly and hands you the balm. "Here this should help. Get some sleep."

"Okayy, thaankuu"

He walks back to Woo by the door and pats on his shoulder. "Take care of her, we'll take care of the rest, don't worry Joong's already on it." And with that he leaves.

Woo sits beside you helping you sit up. He helps you finish your soup and gets you some warm tea after your done brushing your teeth. Which makes little sense to him since you lay under the sheets nibbling on the chocolate Hwa had brought earlier. It brings a smile to your face and that's all that matters to him.

After he's done downing his rice, he brushes his tea and reheats the water of your hotbag.

He lays beside you on his side, supporting his head with one hand and the other on your belly drawing circles with his palm on it. Your lower belly tends to get hotter when you're on your period seeming like a fever. The weight of his hand exerted a comforting pressure on you. His hand travels up your torso, as he cups your face and give you light kisses, filled with love and care and innumerable silent promises.

Your eyelids start to feel heavier, Woo reaches over you to switch off the lamp on your side of the bed, and then turns to switch off the one on his side.

You turn on your side facing him, he pulls you closer into his chest. His arm, now your pillow, his heartbeat your lullaby. You breathe in his sent, his breath fanning on your face, his hand wrapped around your head, fingers laced in your hair with light gliding pats.

You're drifting to slumber as you bumble your most sincere thought.

"I love you Woo"

He kisses your head as you both close your eyes.

"I'd give up the world for you My Love"

He says in a whisper, continuing to hum to your song until slumber consumes him.

Tagged

@bro-atz @chocoholicbabe1994 @holybibly @hongjng8 @hwashotcheeto @pirateprincessblog @pirateprincessoz @atinycafe ...

[kueble]

Wild Mint

This is not what I planned on doing tonight, but @justhereforeskel deserves something soft.

Teen. Warnings: Chronic injury. 1,300 words.

Eskel/Geralt

---

The stairs never used to be this steep. Geralt is sure of it. Any other night he would have been fine, but Vesemir had pushed them all so much earlier. Hell, he skipped a warm dinner to haul his ass down to the hot springs, and even soaking alone for hours hasn’t dulled the pain in his knee.

With a grunt, he leans on the railing and pulls himself up the stairs, doing his best to ignore how fucking useless he feels. His body shouldn’t be fighting him like this. He was a finely-honed killing machine - according to every human he’s ever met - and he shouldn’t be hobbling up the gods-damned stairs like this. But it’s hard to win a battle against his own body, especially when it’s this angry at him.

Thankfully Eskel isn’t here to watch him suffer.

By the grace of some long-forgotten god, Geralt makes it to his room without running into anyone. Everyone is probably deep in their cups at this point, and as much as he’d love to be down in the main hall with them, the throbbing in his knee says what a horrible idea that is. He’s tried to drown the pain away many nights like this and yet the pain lingers come morning.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself, throwing open the door to his room while he tries not to judge himself. No sense in being maudlin at this point. He’s an old bastard, and his body just finally caught up with his age.

“Language, Wolf,” Eskel calls out, and Geralt nearly trips over himself trying not to look shocked. How bad does his pain have to be for him to not notice the second heartbeat in their room. He runs a hand over his face and tries to think of an excuse to be alone, to not show his faults.

“Just tired is all,” he whispers, and one look at Eskel lets him know his lover isn’t buying it.

“Please, I know you,” Eskel scuffs. “Could tell how much damage that last tumble did the second you rolled on your bad knee. Let me take care of it.”

“No need,” Geralt says gruffly, because he’s not some spoiled maiden. He’s a fucking witcher, and that should matter. His body should listen to him, damnit.

“Let me rephrase that,” Eskel says softly, “let me take care of you. You’re allowed to have a bad day, especially with a knee like yours.”

“No, I’m not,” Geralt argues, his tone harsher than he likes. “Witchers don’t get bad days. Fuck, I shouldn’t even have a bad knee. Things like that get you killed. Probably should have died from this fucking injury in the first place. Wouldn’t be in so much pain if I had.”

“Shut your stupid mouth and listen to me,” Eskel growls at him, stomping over the room to stand in front of him. “You want me to be dead? Because it’s hard for any creature to live without its heart beating in its chest. And that’s you. You’re my heart, asshole, so let me take care of you and we’ll both feel better for it come morning.”

“You’ve gone soft,” Geralt whispers, but he’s smirking as Eskel takes him by the shoulders and guides him over to the bed.

“Not what you told me last night,” he says, chuckling as he starts to undo Geralt’s laces. “No funny business tonight, though. You’re going to let me massage your bad leg, coat it in that horrible mint salve that will have us both tingling for days, and then I’m going to make sure you don’t move for the rest of the night. You can fuck me once you can kneel on the bed without cringing,” he says, laughing as Geralt shakes his head and gives in.

He should have known there was no hiding this, not from Eskel. They’ve been living in each other’s pockets since they were kids, and there’s never been a secret between them. Well, not since that awkward first year on the path full of missed connections and ridiculous pining. No, they’re on even ground nowadays, and life’s better for it.

He wants to say something sappy, something his bard would put in a flowery song, something that would stick to his tongue and sound honey-sweet, but that’s not how they work. They don’t need pretty words to know how they feel. He can hear it in the slow beat of Eskel’s heart, in the warm heat of his gaze as they lock eyes. They both know how much love is there.

So instead, he lets Eskel strip him down and help him into a soft pair of nightclothes. He sits on the edge of the bed like a good boy while Eskel gets himself ready, slurping up the still-warm bowl of stew Eskel shoves at him with a pointed look. Got it. No more skipping meals. By the time his bowl is empty, Eskel is dressed and the fire has been properly stoked. He sets the bowl on their bedside table to become tomorrow’s problem and sprawls back against their pillows.

“Isn’t it much easier when you let me boss you around?” Eskel asks, grinning as he crawls onto the bed and sits by Geralt’s thighs. He uncaps the jar of salve and the stinging scent of wild mint fills the air.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Geralt snorts, but he offers a wide smile and gestures down at his injured knee. “Do your worst.”

“How about I do my best instead?” Eskel whispers, and Geralt has to turn to look at the fire because his chest suddenly feels too tight. Emotions are always closer to the surface - just waiting to bubble up and flow out of him - when he hurts like this.

Eskel works in silence, but it’s a comfortable one. Eventually Geralt turns to watch him work, his body going limp under Eskel’s strong hands. His tanned skin looks so harsh against Geralt’s milky complexion, but they fit together so well. He loses himself in the warm movements, letting Eskel drain the pain from him. He knows it will never really go away, but he’s able to ignore it once Eskel finishes.

“Thank you,” he whispers, barely a sound at all, and Eskel just smiles at him. His scar pulls at his lip, his tooth poking out, and anyone else would find it offputting, but it just looks like home to him. Eskel nods before getting off the bed to put the salve away and wash up in the basin by the fire. Geralt feels so relaxed he could fall asleep any second, but he forces himself to stay awake until Eskel comes back.

“Too lazy to get under the covers?” Eskel teases him, rolling Geralt so he can tug the furs out from under him.

“What can I say? You’ve got good hands.”

“Good mouth, too,” Eskel tells him, and Geralt rolls his eyes in response.

But then he’s moving, leaning in to capture Eskel’s mouth in a gentle kiss. There’s no heat behind it, but his body lights up just the same. Even after all these years, every time they touch sparks something deep inside of him. Shoving that down, Geralt turns his face and presses a softer kiss to Eskel’s scarred cheek.

“Love you, too,” he mumbles before rolling over onto his side. As expected, Eskel follows him, curling up against his beck and throwing a heavy arm over his hips. The last thing he feels is Eskel’s breath against the back of his neck.

---

SFW Tags:  @halerune @mayastormborn @dani-dandelino @jaskierswolf @littoraly-art @tothedesert @dapandapod @theweirdlynx @tedrakitty @sharinalein @theamazingdevilgivesmehope @iamaqt314 @silvermintnightprincess @rockysstupidity @live-long-and-trek-on @hayleynzlive @holymotherwolf @thesynysterunknown @rebard-main @larawrmonster @gryffinqueen-blog @lovelyscot @fangirleaconmigo @mothmanismyuncle @fontegagrilledcheese @thestarkwinter @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @allthequeenshorses13 @221birl1823 @strippiluolamies @concussed-dragon @aurelia-which-means-sunrise @clarebear66 @feral-jaskier @j-u-s-tmyself​ @hayleynzlive @thisislisa @firefly-party @officerjennie @theshapeofcool @flawney @viking1919

If you’d like to be added/removed, let me know. Thank you!

[sminiac]

its me 🦭 anon again!! i absolutely love what you wrote for my request oh my godd, especially keeho's. i can't stop thinking about how teasing he'd be now that you've talked about it, and the way his grip would be so tight tryna keep your legs apart😮‍💨i might babble on too much rn but the thought of cumming hard over his tongue already yet he doesn't even pull away at all. i got a feel he'd wanna overstimulate you further and suck even harder just to make you writhe beneath him. just bc he thinks you're so adorable when you can't push him away bc he's holding you down😵‍💫😵‍💫 he's just mumbling some excuse about how he wants to lick you clean of your release that's why he isn't done yet, . ..also feel like he really gets off on the way you're trying your best to keep your noises down so yall don't get caught, he loves seeing you so helplessly pleasured, knowing he's driving you so crazyy

jiung too🫣 the way you wrote for him seems so romantic i love it a lottt, imagine being spoiled by him fr. i absolutely love dedicated guys aagh. oh and morning head w him means a soft session of him eating you out so so cute, especially when he feels you tug lightly on his hair still so messy just from waking up yk. he's obsessed w ur moans bc he loves ur voice from when you've just woken up too🫠🫠i need a jiung rn

...actually im gonna admit im just a baby p1ece, i became a fan because i really can't stop listening to their new song , "killin it":''') i was wondering if you have any recommendations for like shows/series i could watch of piwon to get to know them better? like weekly reality shows of them if they have any, idk where to start :(

GIRL PLEASE. IF ANYTHING BABBLE MORE 🗣️

Overstim w Keeho? I’m actually so ???? The way he literally would try to come up with some fleeting excuse so he can keep himself nestled between your legs, it wouldn’t even completely make sense but you relent because he just looks so pretty and the slackness of your legs jolting with every suck of his lips followed by his tongue feels so good.

No shame in being new to piwon! None at all, just means you’re someone else who I can share my thoughts with :b

I think their ‘PLOG’ playlist would help with remembering their names and faces quite well, their voices too, just so they’re more distinct from each other, and so you can get a better feel of their personalities because it’s mainly the boys yapping, the videos are fairly short if you have a smaller attention span :b

I’d recommend watching their vlogs too! For example ‘P1HARMONY in WORLD’ on YouTube is really comforting and fun, especially so you can get a semi-familiarness with them outside of the more traditional curated section of their life, if that makes sense! Just because personally I love the rawness of the members just whipping out a camera and being silly without bright hot lights in their faces and a general wave they have to follow. ‘HARMONY CLIP’ is also a really good playlist, there’s a lot of comfort videos in there for me, it mainly consists of vlogs from their tours, bts of their mv’s, all that fun stuff, kind of similar to in world.

‘피원모하니’ playlist has all the professionally produced videos, ex: (SAESSAK HARMONY, HARMONY FOREST, LEGENDARY MOVE, HARMONY ADVENTURE) which I’m pretty sure consists of mini games and such? I myself haven’t even made it through all the videos :,)

Ahhh also their practice videos are really entertaining to watch, if you’re wanting to get into some of their more ‘dated’ discography! ‘BFF choreography video’ and ‘BIGBANG Dance practice kcon 2023’ are my favs!

I hope I’m of some help, and don’t worry about watching every single video they’ve ever released because there’s so many and it can seem overwhelming! Have fun <3

[teamdarkweek]

for the ask game: 1, 15 !

Thank you so much for asking!

Full Game is Here

🏠Where do you think they live?

Within my written stuff, I try to vary how they live for funsies. But if I had to pen it out logically:

I think initially (Post Heroes) Rouge intended to take Shadow home and get him some help, and ended up having to take Omega home because he was extremely low power after their adventure. They ended uo staying in her G.U.N. flat, which they were all eventually kicked out of for damage.

However, they don't all live together all the time. Shadow likes to wander, especially around the events of Shadow the Hedgehog he was hard to pin down, he spent a lot of time soul searching. Rouge came into posession of a flat over the club when she got it, and also has a few other properties she calls home like a beachhouse and a ski chalet. Omega most consistently has one home, because his replacement parts and chargers are specific and tricky to replace, and also they mosify them so he can fit. Omega's homes are usually considered Team Dark's HQ, because its where they store all their spare kit and sensitive stuff. Its armed to the teeth.

I do have a story about them building Shadow a home. I think he would like living remotely, in the mountains where the stars are the best. Omega alao struggles to live in normal society, but he quite enjoys the drama of it. Rouge would ideally live on a pile of gold like Gustave in SMTV, but she'll settle for a fancy penthouse somewhere hollywood-esque. So, they don't particularly stay together all the time, but at present they all go back to base quite regularly.

🎶Who has the aux cord most - what do they play?

This is coming up for me in Day 6s story, actually!

Rouge is the owner of the Aux Cord, so she commandeers it. She likes: 80s/90s pop; Jazz; Ballads; and secretly showtunes. She introduced Shadow and Omega to music, and has a fairly nice singing voice but is not very well trained. Once upon a time she played saxophone but is out od practice.

Shadow will only play the music he likes in very close company, and turns it off if anyone spoils or criticises it. He does like rock and emo and the stuff people think are stereotypical of him, and he doesn't like to be teased for it. He also listens to classical and instrumentals and develops a taste for peaceful New Age stuff with time. He has taught himself piano and guitar (got a keyboard fairly cheap, and Sonic left his old guitar lying around once) and does sometimes sing with it. He will immediately stop if anyone is in hearing vicinity, so unconfirmed if he is any good.

Omega does actually have a taste in music: obviously, metal (haha) but also synth, electric pop, and anything quite fast tempo might tempt him, he has yet to like a lovesong. He's also a bit random with what he likes, and never explains what about it or why. He will just sometimes insist on a song being replayed, and occasionally records songs as they're being played to blast at inconvenient moments. They can't find any rhyme or reason as to why he would even have a preference for music, it isn't written in any code, but there is a list he can produce of 'liked songs'. Rouge and Shadow guess it is just another way he is figuring out an identity and what to do with it, so are very happy to encourage him.

Thanks for the ask! 🖤🦇🤖

[thesinglesjukebox]

'WEIRD AL' YANKOVIC - "POLKAMANIA!"

"Weird Al"'s first Jukebox appearance... today, we have finally truly become the Singles Jokebox.

[4.38]

TA Inskeep: Oh look, vaguely recent pop hits set to polkas. <Miranda Priestly voice> Groundbreaking. </Miranda Priestly voice> [2]

Kat Stevens: There are a certain subset of songs which I've only ever encountered in "Weird Al" polka medley form: I have no idea what the original "Cradle of Love" sounds like, nor have I any real interest in finding out. So it spoils the fun a little when it turns out I know all the tunes already. [4]

Julian Axelrod: "Weird Al" Yankovic was one of my first favorite artists, which means I was exposed to some of the biggest pop hits in history via parodies and polka medleys. So while "Polkamania!" might disgust and confound the average listener, I find it charming that he's still committing to this incredibly specific bit forty years into his career. It's been a decade since "NOW That's What I Call Polka!", which means Al has a wide array of hits to cover, from the obvious ("Shake It Off") to the inspired ("Vampire") to the baffling. (My biggest laugh came not from his polkafied version of "WAP," but the censored rendition of "Thank U, Next" that immediately follows.) It's hard to judge this through a contemporary critical lens when it exists mainly as a funhouse inversion of pop's immediate past. Listening to a "Weird Al" polka medley in the year 2024 feels like returning to your hometown and finding out your favorite old haunt is still standing and still run by the same curly-haired weirdo, untouched by the evolution of taste and the passage of time. [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: A foil to Eminem: Em is crass where Al is gosh-darn unoffensive, dying to offend where Al is dying to please, but the two artists share a drive to present themselves as more chaotic than they actually are. (I interviewed "Weird Al" once, and he was so unwaveringly on-message that it felt like interviewing a career politician.) Their pop-culture medleys are as routine and unsurprising as holiday concerts, though Al's are more event managed: doing the press circuit, he was happy to break down all the logistics of the "Polkamania" assembly and approval process. In doing so, he critiqued the song better than I ever could: SZA ghosted him, but Lin-Manuel Miranda returned his call in like 30 seconds. [4]

Tim de Reuse: I'm sorry, Al. This kind of thing was your bread and butter, but we've pulled the rug out from under you. The genre-cloud of "recognizable song awkwardly re-rendered in different style" is the basis for a million clickbait YouTube thumbnails, ten percent of all videos on TikTok, and probably a quarter of all audio-based generative AI prompts. I've already heard all of these songs as Gregorian chant, as Norwegian black metal, Midwest emo, using the soundfonts from Super Mario 64, performed by a bad Kate Bush impersonator, in fucking "Negative Harmony" -- never of my own volition. This stuff is just in the air now, competing for my attention, and it all sounds the same as every cell phone ad. Wat's left here? Polka? Is polka still funny on its own merits? Was it ever? It's not you, Al. It's us. I'm sorry for what we did. [1]

Joshua Lu: "NOW That's What I Call Polka!" was a guilty pleasure of mine, operating as a genuinely catchy and humorous summation of then-recent hits made by a man with a palatable appreciation for pop music and a knack for taking on unserious tasks with the utmost seriousness. "Polkamania!" is mostly the same, and in being his first mashup since then (aside from some Hamilton thing I can't bring myself to listen to), he's had to distill over a decade of hits down instead of just a few years' worth. All of these songs included make sense, but every other song just instills a sense of "Oh yeah, that was a thing once," culminating in a Taylor Swift remake that surely would've amused me in 2013 but now just feels a dozen lifetimes old. It doesn't help that some of these songs are just kind of boring and don't offer much by way of humor, forcing pretty straightforward polkafications and awkward transitions.  [5]

Ian Mathers: Look, none of these will ever equal "Polka Your Eyes Out" to me, both because of the song selection there and because I was 10 when it came out. But I'm happy Al's out there doing his thing, and I hope he never changes. [6]

Mark Sinker: OK, back in April some clown called on him to become our beloved worm-man god-emperor, and now look what happened: “Brat Al” Yankovic! There’s a whole slab of cultural and music theory to be explored one day, about what happens when you convert modern pop into sheet music and then convert it back out again into your favoured local sound-style: what gets elided, but also what’s gained (not nothing)! And maybe some day someone will write it up — but that day is not today and that someone is not me.  [5]

Hannah Jocelyn: The polka medleys were never my favorites; it's almost always the same shtick and there's none of the cleverness of his usual material or his (underappreciated!) style parodies. There's inspiration here to be sure, "Weird Al" doing "Bad Guy" as klezmer gets this a positive score on those grounds alone. Maybe if he released this five years ago or in five years it would work and not fall victim to the Anxious Interval. But this is "Weird Al", long-reigning king of kitsch. Who wants him to be in touch? [6]

Nortey Dowuona: Both 10 years out of date and 10 years into the future. Welcome back, polka. (And "Weird Al," too.) [10]

Taylor Alatorre: I appreciate that there's a person out there who can get me to say with a straight face a sentence like "I miss when the polkas were more thematically consistent." [5]

Jonathan Bradley: "Weird Al" sucks. I feel so mean to say that: people love this guy who, let’s face it, is completely harmless and has been delighting (mostly) children for decades, and here I am telling you how appalled I feel that we celebrate such a pristinely executed vision of pure crappiness. And yet, here we are blurbing him, so: I hate the querulous insipidity of Al’s interpretation of pop music. His schtick demands familiarity with pop — otherwise the parodies make no sense — but shies away from the music’s flair and vision and emotion, as if the pleasure these things offer is too terrifying and too adult, and must be remediated through the lens of banality so as to be controlled. His jokes rarely riff on details of the texts themselves, the way a Lonely Island video might, but replace any intensity of feeling with artefacts of suburban triviality: crappy television, crappy minor medical ailments, and so much crappy, crappy food. Even the verisimilitude of his productions — his greatest actual talent — runs headlong into the crappiness of his adenoidal voice, reassuring us that he’s not so proficient at his craft as to be mistaken for a star. And then there’s his sideshow of playing covers with an accordion, which we understand to be a joke instrument, in the style of polka, which we understand to be a joke genre. Is his polka any good? None of his listeners care. Do they go on to explore more polka? Why would they? Do people who enjoy polka think Al is contributing anything to the music they love? Who cares; the incredible notion that someone somewhere might enjoy polka is part of the joke. Because the most desiccated and shriveled aspect of Al’s relationship with pop is that he can’t imagine it has its own jokes. Cardi B is funnier in “WAP” than he is here. Lil Nas X was a better troll on “Old Town Road.” Billie Eilish had better comic timing with her interjected “duh” on “Bad Guy.” And I understand how churlish I sound saying all this. I am Seymour Skinner; I am Ed Rooney. But I like jokes! (I’m not mad. Please don’t put in the newspaper that I got mad.) The problem is that there is nothing fun happening here! [0]

Alfred Soto: I'm happy Al exists. This song sucks. [2]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[dvar-trek]

January Romance

hello friends i have not slowed down, and perhaps i have maybe even sped up. in the. shotgunning queer romance novels department.

i am mostly on a hockey kick lately. i know nothing about hockey. i have probably watched a grand total of 5 minutes of hockey in my life. i do not care about any sports at all. but i figured that if i can get invested in a sports movie without caring about the sports part (such as Hoosiers (1986) or A League of Their Own (1992)), i could get invested in a sports romance novel without caring about the sports part. and i was correct. thank fuck, bc i think i've read all of the historical romances that there are.

nothing i read this month was like. perfect. it's very hard to measure up to my KJ Charles faves. but there was still some good shit!

the best of:

Hockey Ever After Series (Winging It, Scoring Position, and Unrivaled by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James- each book follows a different couple. the characters are so good and well fleshed-out, the team dynamics are fun, the plots are engaging, and the sex is hot. you really don't have to know anything about hockey (especially if you start with the 2022 edition of Winging It, which is definitely, definitely the correct choice), but also apparently their hockey shit is pretty accurate, which i always appreciate. overall, the complete package.

the rest of:

loved | liked | okay | didn't like

historical

 ●Undressing the Duke by Erica Ridley (a duke falls in love with his valet who is also his best friend. couldn't finish it. i know KJ Charles has me spoiled for historical accuracy, but i yelled 'WHAT!!!' so many times at so many things that i finally gave up. also it's just not very good in any of the other respects.)  ●The Campion Square series by Adella J Harris (three romances taking place in the same little neighborhood. the series is essentially just sweet and sedate and wholesome, and there is nothing wrong with it, but it did not make me feel a single emotion. the definition of 'okay'.)     ○Mr. Wilkins and the Lodger     ○Mr. Montague and the Pineapple     ○Mr. Jenkins and the Necklace  ●Best Laid Plaids by Ella Stainton (simply not that good, and not even in a fun way.)  ●Mr Warren's Profession by Sebastian Nothwell (clueless son of a wealthy baronet falls for an impoverished clerk. it's nothing special and requires so very much suspension of disbelief that it stops being fun.)  ●One Night in Hartswood by Emma Denny (it has its problems and isn't going to make the faves list, but is basically a lovely and heartfelt romance. two men who don't know each other's identities travel together through the winter. requires a normal-mid amount of suspension of disbelief.)

hockey

 ●Him series by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy (guy falls in love with his straight best friend in high school and cuts him out of his life. they reconnect 4 years later for one last summer together. i loved 90% of the first book, but did not love the direction the authors take things. this series is a genre-wide favorite for tons of people though.)     ○Him     ○Us     ○Epic (novella)  ●On The Brink by Kate Willoughby (there's nothing fun wrong with it. it's just not good.)  ●Puckboys by Eden Finley and Saxon James (these are fine for what they are--just enough plot for hockey boys to have a lot of sex and fall in love, in that order. there are a ton more of these but i had no desire to keep going.)     ○Egotistical Puckboy     ○Irresponsible Puckboy  ●Light Up the Lamp by Kit Oliver (i cried my fucking eyes out. and then i listened to a bunch of songs that i knew would make it hit harder and i cried some more. the writing is... not that bad but also not that good. the premise destroyed me. childhood best friends who fall in love and then life takes them in different directions and they fuck it up so stupidly because they are nineteen years old. and then they go through life with this. chasm. where the love used to be. and then 15 years later they are forced to work together and they decide they will simply never speak of it even though they never resolved any of their shit and it is breaking them open. if you read this book you are contractually obligated to talk to me about it thanks!)     ○Biscuit in the Basket (epilogue novella)

other

 ●Hard Feelings by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James (artist/graphic designer and software developer who can't stand each other are forced to work together, and they have a lot of hate sex about it. i do not think the authors know anything about design or coding. several parts of this book are cringe. it still had its moments that made my fucking chest hurt. possibly worth it just for that.)  ●The Rock Star's Guide to Getting Your Man by Ashlyn Kane (another one where a guy is in love with his straight childhood best friend. he goes back to his hometown 15 years later to hide from drama with his bandmates, and finds his former best friend still lives there. this one also made me cry, but mostly the dead dad parts. a little bit cheesy and awkward. some funny moments, and not, like, heavy, but also not exactly lighthearted. i appreciated the fact that most of the conflict was with the band and not with the love interest.)  ●The Inside Edge by Ashlyn Kane (tv cohosts who annoy each other and bicker on-screen -> casual sex -> fake dating -> real dating. just a delightful little bonbon of a romance. does go zero-to-i-love-you, which is a pet peeve, but you can't have everything in life.)  ●All the Right Notes by Dominic Lim (composer's dad asks him to come home and put on a charity performance, and to convince a former classmate, now a famous movie star, to perform in it. nice amount of focus on the asian family dynamics without being too heavy-handed. engaging story, and sweet, but clunky. it's a debut novel though, so i'm looking forward to seeing what else this author will put out in the future.)  ●Winter Ball by Amy Lane (i don't even know what to say about this book. i think it is from an alternate universe. the story and the dialogue both feel weirdly out of time, and the author uses phrases in the sex scenes that probably have never have never even been thought by another human. anyway it's about two best friends who discover their sexualities together, and decide to build a life together in spite of familial and societal disapproval.)  ●Iris Kelly Doesn't Date by Ashley Herring Blake (the third book in a series that unfortunately peaked at book 1. all of the things that were awkward about the first book have only become more pronounced as the series progresses. i gave this the old college try, but could not finish it.)  ●Date Me, Bryson Keller by Kevin van Whye (YA book wherein a popular boy agrees to pretend to date his gay classmate for a week. it is. not well-written, but it is basically a sweet story.)  ●The Best Men by Sarina Bowen and Lauren Blakely (this one just felt aggressively like a book by straight women for straight women. also they didn't do the anal research. also also they didn't research the jobs they gave their main characters.)  ●Top Secret by Elle Kennedy and Sarina Bowen (what if you were a straight guy in college and you were anonymously sexting another guy to set up the threesome your girlfriend requested. and then it turned out you were really into him. and then it also turned out he was the guy in your frat house that you hate. would that be fucked up hot or what. i will not lie to you, this book is kind of cringe. like one of the main characters insists approximately 500 times that he's only sexually experimenting because he's a scientist and it's scientific. but it's still fun and i still enjoyed it. there's also a bonus epilogue available.)  ●Heels Over Head by Elyse Springer (incredibly repressed olympic diver falls for his new teammate. full of heartache and shitty families and tenderness and choosing joy.)

[torialefay]

First of all, wishing you all the best of luck on your assessment🍀🍀🍀🍀

Second, mad agree with you on the hair post like😊

Third, coming from a lower middle/middle class area, i have never met a single person who was financially "normal" to this area or on the poorer side who would dare throw their electronics like chan has before. Even if they got richer later, old habits die hard, and you learn the value of money. I mean, I've seen people toss or flip their phone softly when bored, but never that hard or with a laptop or something, holy shit. You can tell a lot about someone by their interactions with not only people, but everything. The amount of times i watched an idol and went "🫵rich kid attitude" is kinda funny. And i totally agree with all the asks that came in between you and your mutuals and some anons, skz are all mad hardworking, but i dont think you can or should ignore or cover up the fact that they had the financial help and the resources to learn more and give them an advantage above the rest both personally amx through jype. Its kinda like college acceptance imo. And YES creatively free with many many many restrictions. Not even talking about k-idols, normal musicians have talked about the restrictions and requirements they need to have for their appearcance and the songs they released, i can only imagine being an idol is just exponentially demanding and restrictive. Their real voice is there, but it's smaller than a lot of stay think. Hayley Kiyoko talked about her company (label?) Not wanting her to write anymore songs about girls and Colbie Caillet has a whole song about her frustration that her label wanted her to write more love songs.

*incoherent noises* i could go on forever, but my god, cortana, play "we dont believe whats on tv" by twenty one pilots

And oh my god, i wish fandoms lighten up some. Its okay to not like everything every artist or show or whatever you like comes out with. It may even be healthy to not. When you love someone, youre not gonna let them keep fucking up and then you go "youre doing amazing sweetie", no, you have to tell them that they fucked up so they are aware of their mistakes and get better. Im pretty sure i read somewhere that skz mentioned thats what they prefer anyways. Sure its gonna hurt, especially since so much heart and hope, and hardwork went into it, but if its not good, its okay to admit that and that goes for every relationship ever. And if they dont wanna listen, then, thats on them.

Im really loving all the reality checks on here recently and i havent even ranted on about "i like it" yet lmao

thank you baby!!!! and tbf, i think they could look good in absolutely any hair color or hair style. except i never want to see christopher in another fully-red moment again. his lil red highlights or whatever he had recebtly for the mv were cute, but i'm not here for the full red like leave that man alone 😭

i was talking to one of my moots about this a little bit, so i'm actually glad you brought it up... but idk it's kind of embarrassing(?) idk for me to talk about so please bear with me im queasy lol. i was never some like super spoiled-brat rich kid or anything, but growing up i would say my family was very well-off or privilged maybe? idk it's kind of awkward to talk about bc i don't want people to feel certain ways about me but yeah. i think when you are in that kind of position, it's so easy to not even realize how advantaged you are. like there's that mentality of "oh i'm such a hard worker and that's how i've gotten here" when really, as uncomfortable as it is to admit, you don't *actually* know how far you would've gotten if you'd done it ALL on your own. not relying on anyone else... and not knowing if "just you" is good enough is a veryyyy hard pill to swallow- aka why most people disregard their privilege even being brought into the equation. it's easier to just pretend it doesnt exist. hence, i guess, why we love to think of SKZ coming up from nothing... it's just so easy to fall into that trap. and i feel like even the skz members fall into that trap themselves

unfortunately, that is the biggest drawback of being a kpop idol. in a way, you can't even be your full self anymore. which is sad. like not only do you not have full control of your own music (which is supposed to be your livelihood), but you don't even have control over how you're perceived. i talk a lot ab how i wish i could hang out with the guys behind the scenes, just to see what they're REALLY like... and when you think about it, that's kind of sad. i consume so much SKZ content, but even with all of that, it's very apparent that we don't know how they are when the cameras cut off. everything we see of them is specifically controlled by their team... except for things like bubble ofc and we see what that has revealed to us about chris lol. it's just so sad, but then again, it's exactly what they signed up for. (bonus points to u for the twenty one pilots reference though my god how i love them)

it's definitely not healthy to tell someone that they're amazing and perfect in every way and agreebwith absolutely everything they say. that's not helping anything. there's obviously a lot of stays who felt uncomfortable with the song, but imagine if no one said anything??? like literally everyone was too scared to say it and everyone just went along with it. theyd have a whole new comeback w songs ab not fucking liking you and just wanting to fuck and shit 😭 which like, power to them, but stays would just be playing themselves at that point lol

haven't ranted on "i like it".... YET?!?! oh lord, i'm strapped in and ready 😭😭😭😂

[philosophiums]

hi sam!

do you like to cook/bake and if so, what are your favorite things to make?

is there an author whose writing style you particularly adore?

is there a piece of writing you love, whether for its dialogue or description or it just makes you feel 🌟 on the inside? could literally be like a few lines from a book/fic

is there somewhere you've always wanted to travel?

how would you describe your music taste?

3 favorite characters in no particular order?

if you could travel back in time as an invisible observer, where and when would you travel to?

hope you're feeling better ❣️

hi mariam!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

i love to bake! i don't have much time to do so anymore (nor do i have a workplace or Other People to give servings to), but when i do bake, i love to do cakes/muffins/cookies/brownies/etc - anything i can bake from scratch that is not and does not involve pastry KJSDBVJKSDBV. i have a couple go-tos (there's a chocolate zucchini cake recipe that i make whenever i need a rich chocolate pick-me-up), but i love to try new things as often as possible. within the last year, i found a vanilla cake recipe that called for whipping the eggs/sugar/butter, and made for a very interesting texture in the result. i put a lemon whipped cream topping on it, but i think it would hold its own against something thicker/more flavorful as well if i make it again

oh MAN time to plug @ravenvsfox right here <3 i ADORE the way meghan structures not only her stories but also specifically her prose. it's absolutely riddled with metaphor and just the type of emotion that is so tangible you feel like you might be able to touch it. she has such a way of digging into a character's ribcage and pulling out the essence of them, and then she just masterfully dangles it through her works like puppet strings, and by the end you realize you were the marionette on stage with the characters and it's just OUGH cannot compliment her enough truly. writing alongside her at the height of the aftg fandom was a formative experience for me as a writer <3

HMMM okay i thought about this one a lot because there are a lot of little pieces of writing that have stuck with me over the years, but i'm gonna say the short story "A Good Man Is Hard to Find" by Flannery O'Connor. i read it in college, and i remember being bored out of my mind right away and then just getting sucker punched at the end. immediately had to reread. twice. not to look for foreshadowing, but to figure out why the ending was just a punch to the face. it's genuinely still a story i go back and reread from time to time. i love the idea of a bunch of people stuck in a small space together and then, well. i shan't spoil the end for anyone who hasn't read it

oughhhh i would kill to go back to scotland. for forever, preferably, but i would love to even spend another summer there. i miss it so fucking bad. walkable cities my beloved. the weather was perfect.... just.... take me backkkkkk

my music taste is very like.... i mean i have genre preferences (i like rock in all forms more than anything else), but i'm a Song Enjoyer. if the song slaps, i really don't care if it's not a genre that i usually listen to. and though there are bands that i like, i'm not going to listen to a song of theirs if i don't like it just because it's theirs. i can't claim to listen to anything, but any genre is up for grabs. songs i like usually just grab me by throat and then i must listen constantly until i'm sick of it KJSDBVJKDBV

favorite characters!!!! andrew minyard number one (ik you said no particular order but he is and probably will always be my number one i just. relate to him. cannot describe how life-changing it was to see him get a happy ending. he's in my heart forever). xie lian from heaven official's blessing is top three for sureeee ! such a deeply complex tragic character OUGH god i love him. also i hate to say it but bakugo katsuki i think edges out fushiguro megumi for top three (gomen megu). i just love bitchy blonde characters (tsukishima haikyuu honorable mention also), and his arc is just so beautifully written. i love characters who seem simple on the surface but are just oceans of contradictions underneath. good stuff

oh HMMMM i have never actually. pondered going back in time. UH. honestly i think i would like to go back and see the library of alexandria. even if i couldn't read anything, just to see it, walk inside....

thank you so much!!!!! <3 <3 <3 i am feeling better now :D

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 29/06/2023

voiceless - simple ds series vol. 01 - the mahjong (¥1480)

Season 2 Featured on: Haltmann's Highest Quality Video Game Rips Also on: SiIvaGunner: Starter Kit & Essentials

Ripped by trivial171, MtH

Part of Voiceless Week! Requested by @cookiefonster!

WELL, remind me to never use Drafts again, because apparently last week's post just flat out spoiled the rip of today in the URL. Tumblr, huh?

Anyhow - this request was part of why I decided to commit to this week's theme, as its a track I too wanted to cover but didn't really feel up to doing before actually disclosing the original track's impact in its own post. Through its appearance on two albums now, I think I can say pretty confidently that this is the voiceless-arrangement I've listened to most in my time due to its permanent placement in my playlists. But its addition to those playlists came as a surprise to me at first, as I'd never even once heard the rip on the channel itself. Even worse - I'd never actually listened to any of the Simple DS Series-rips whatsoever!

As I've previously alluded to on this blog, I think this is one of the beautiful things about the channel - it celebrates the art of just making things without an expected audience to flock to it. Every rip is cherished by a unique group of people because its impossible - or at least extremely unhealthy! - to listen to every single rip on the channel. After having discovered the game and its rips through this installment, I can now absolutely call myself a fan.

Like the prior rips I've covered this week, this is very much a remix through and through aiming to recreate the original song in a new context. Despite having never played the game before, its sound feels so "early DS" through and through, in a way I can only really compare to Gen 4 of Pokémon? I'd speculate that this sound comes from games transitioning from the GBA's heavy use of samples to relying more on full-on MIDI, but still undergoing a form of compression to be audible through the DS. Regardless, the rest is just an immaculately dense and thick sound - drum hits that vibrate through the compression, a bassline that becomes even heavier due to it, and synths that sound videogamey in every way possible. With the three voiceless remixes I've covered thus far, slideless was a direct translation of the original song into the style of a different track, wheras voiceless (short rave remix) was a full on reimagining with all new instrumentation. voiceless - simple ds series vol. 01 - the mahjong (¥1480), then, speaks to me as a full-on rerendition of the original track, capturing every single element of the original track's instrumentation and directly retranslating them to fit the DS vibe. It probably helps that MtH worked on this directly after already being very much involved in the original voiceless, likely allowing more of the subtle differences in instrumentation to become directly translated rather than full-on reimagined.

The result, at the end of the day, is a trio of fantastic celebrations of voiceless' legacy. Ironically, voiceless - simple ds series vol. 01 - the mahjong (¥1480) in particular shows that the song hits just as hard even without vocals - even when quite literally voiceless, the team's voice shines through it all.

[bladesmercy]

Ooh ooh can we talk about rain in june? I'm often thinking about rain in june (that and limbo being the first work by you I read lol). I've got a couple questions from the ask meme about rain cuz it just makes my brain Boil.

So uhh 3, 4, and 11?

ohhh yes!!!! rain in june....a certified brain boiler indeed. i also often think of it.

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

oh my god this is so tough. i'm going to cheat a little bit and say not only a single line, but my favourite section. the opening handful of lines.

[ It’s hard to imagine what sort of music plants might like to listen to.

Something slow? Something rhythmic? Something bright and playful? They don’t have ears, or even mouths to reply with, so figuring out their tastes isn’t exactly simple.

His poor kitchen garden isn’t exactly spoiled for choice though. Cloud doesn’t know very many songs. ]

without going into any spoilers for the story, the entire thematic core and overall metaphor in the story is contained in the opening.

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

[ “It’s fucking adorable,” one of Sephiroth’s SOLDIER friends tells him, a redhead with sharp eyes and a sharper tongue. “The two of you make me positively sick.” ]

....it's this. it makes me laugh so much. i'm sorry genesis. i'm so sorry.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

oh god....i think rain in june is probably the fic i am most proud of out of everything i've ever written. completely outside of what anyone else has said to me about it, i look at it and its construction and i have no notes for myself on how to improve it, which basically never happens. it's an objectively very simple story and concept, and yet i had an almost spiritual experience working on it. i very rarely write fluff, or anything that resembles fluff, and there are so many scenes in it that genuinely felt like being on a sugar-high while i was writing them. it's funny to me to look back at it now, and think how wildly different that feeling must be from how people would experience it from the other end reading it for the first time. that's probably what i like best about it, the juxtaposition.

thank you so much for the ask!!! :D

[thisaintascenereviews]

Top 20 Favorite Albums Of All Time: 2024 Edition

Ranking the best albums of all time is really hard, because there are thousands of albums out there, and you maybe haven’t heard a lot of those albums you’d love. I’ve been a music fan for the last 17 years, give or take, and I’ve listened to tons of albums, but one thing I don’t usually do is make ranked best of lists of albums I personally love. I like doing yearend lists, because that’s only the single year, not of all time. I’ve only done a best of all time ranking once, and that was maybe a decade ago, but in the span of that time, my taste has changed. I thought it would be interesting to take a look at my favorite albums of all time. It took awhile, but over the last few years, my taste has changed a lot. It’s going to, as that’s how tastes work. I’ve always thought of tastes in media are fluid, and not finite, because you can have different opinions at different points in time. With that said, some albums I used to absolutely revere aren’t always I love that much anymore, so if you’re wondering where something is, it’s probably that I still really love it, but not that much. I do have a handful of honorable mentions, and some of these albums are ones that I used to really love, and while I may still love them, they didn’t make the cut. I did have one rule, however, when I made this list: only two albums per band / artist on the main list. That’s because I love multiple albums from a lot of these bands and artists, so I only limited myself to two albums from any artist, but the honorable mentions might have an album that didn’t make the cut. They aren’t in any order, either, but let’s start with the honorable mentions, starting with…

Beastie Boys - Licensed To Ill

A lot of the albums on the entire list mean something to me, whether it’s the first album in a genre I discovered, or an album that I have a lot of nostalgia for, and Beastie Boys’ debut, Licensed To Ill is one of those, for sure. This is one of the first hip-hop albums I listened to, at least a few years after dipping my toes into the genre, and Beastie Boys blew my mind with their brand of hip-hop meets metal and punk, especially with Slayer’s Kerry King having a guest spot on their debut. Truthfully, their later albums are better, but I have a soft spot for their debut, because it’s so much fun and scrappy. For one of the first rap albums I ever listened to, I love it.

Childish Gambino - Because The Internet

Speaking of hip-hop, I don’t want to spoil too much of what you’ll see later, but Childish Gambino (otherwise known as Donald Glover) is the first rapper I ever listened to. I have another album of his on the list, but his sophomore album (not counting mixtapes), 2013’s Because The Internet, is a fun and experimental romp through hip-hop, R&B, pop, psychedelic, and electronic music. It’s got some of my favorite songs of his, but it’s also a really interesting and unique album that still doesn’t quite sound like anything I’ve ever heard.

Van Halen - S/T

Hard-rock band Van Halen is one of my favorite bands, and their 1978 self-titled debut is one of the best hard-rock albums ever made. This is the album that introduced people to both David Lee Roth, and Eddie Van Halen (may he rest in power). This isn’t anything necessarily unique, but it’s one hell of a record with some great riffs, solos, and hooks.

Black Sabbath - Paranoid

Arguably the first metal band, Black Sabbath’s debut album, 1970’s Paranoid, is also considered to be the first true heavy metal album, and it rules. It’s got a couple of their most beloved and well known songs, but it’s the album that first showcased heavy metal as its own sound, versus being bluesy hard-rock. This album was one of the first traditional heavy metal album albums that I listened to, and showed me that a lot of classic metal albums have merit to them.

Miles Davis - Kind Of Blue

I’ve become a jazz fan over the last few years, at least more than I used to be, and one of my favorite jazz records, as well as the first jazz record I ever listened to, is Miles Davis’ magnum opus, 1959’s Kind Of Blue. This is such a dynamic and interesting little jazz album that took the genre into new and unexplored territories, especially with Miles Davis already being an influential band leader by that point.

Dio - Holy Diver

Along with Black Sabbath’s Paranoid, Dio’s - 1983 debut album, Holy Diver, is one of my favorite traditional heavy metal albums that got me into that style. Dio, the band, is made up of the 1980 - 1982 lineup of Black Sabbath, sans Tony Iommi, but one could also argue that Holy Diver was an influence on power metal. Ronnie James Dio isn’t only one of the best and most expressive metal vocalists, his sense of lyricism was more based on Lord Of The Rings and fantasy, versus the typical cliches of rock and metal at the time. This album is really catchy, fun, anthemic, and larger than life, but that was Dio in a nutshell.

Metallica - Ride The Lightning

Ah, Metallica, you know they’d be here, but this is one of the exceptions to my “two album rule,” as I have three albums from this legendary and iconic band on the list, although only two on the actual list, so I kept one here. That album is 1984’s Ride The Lightning. This is their second album, where they honed their sound a bit, but this isn’t the first album from them I listened to, nor is it quite my favorite, although this album is legendary, and for good reason.

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

A decade ago, The Beatles were easily my favorite band. I went through a whole couple of years where they were all I listened to, and truth be told, 1967’s Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, is still a great album, and it’s one of my favorites, but I haven’t gone back to it as much in recent years. Maybe I’m just burnt out on them, or my taste has changed, but this isn’t quite my all time favorite. I still love this album, and it’s a wonderful rock album, being a monumental album both for the genre and for its time.

Fleetwood Mac - Rumours

Arguably the best pop / pop-rock album of all time, you know Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 masterpiece Rumours had to be here. This album is a lightning in a bottle kind of album that could only have been made under the right set of circumstances. If just one small thing was off, who knows what this album would have sounded like? This is the best example of a breakup album that’s written by both parties of the breakup, let alone writing songs about each other and singing on each others’ songs. Talk about awkward, but that awkwardness makes for some of the best music ever made.

Spiritbox - Eternal Blue

This is the most recent album on my list, but I’ve gone on record as saying that Spiritbox’s debut album, 2021’s Eternal Blue, is one of my new all time favorite albums. It was my favorite album of 2021, and it’s one of the best albums of the 2020s so far. This band mixes alt-metal, djent, metalcore, progressive metal, and even pop and electronic sounds to make for a very fun, catchy, accessible, and palatable sound that is only getting better, especially with their newest EP from last year.

Okay, it’s time for my top 20 favorite albums of all time, so here we go!

20: Justin Timberlake - The 20/20 Experience

One of my all time favorite solo artists is pop and R&B singer Justin Timberlake, and I’ll go into more detail later, but his 2013 comeback album, The 20/20 Experience, is one of my favorite pop and R&B albums. I’m gonna cheat and just point you to the direction of the ten-year retrospective I wrote last year, because I go into a lot more detail than I could here.

19: Paramore - Riot

A huge congratulations is needed for Paramore in their Grammy wins last week, but the first album from them I ever heard is 2007’s Riot, and it’s also one of my favorite albums from the MySpace / scene era. It’s held up surprisingly well, but it’s such a catchy, energetic, and rambunctious pop-punk album that only began to show how talented that band really was (and frankly still is).

18: Bruce Springsteen - Born In The USA

You can’t have an all time favorite albums list without The Boss himself, Bruce Springsteen. At least my list, anyway, because I love me some Springsteen, but my favorite Springsteen album will always be 1984’s Born In The USA. Something about his gruff vocals paired with shimmering and catchy pop-tinged instrumentation is so good, but some of these songs are among his most iconic.

17: Sam Cooke - The Best Of Sam Cooke

I’ve come to love a lot of music from the 1940s and 1950s, and Sam Cooke is my favorite singer of that era, especially with his 1962 greatest hits album. I first listened to Sam Cooke in the movie Hitch, and it took me a long time to figure out who it was, but I absolutely love his work. His voice is among the best of all time, and that greatest hits is such a short but sweet collection of the best of the best.

16: Judas Priest - Screaming For vengeance

Judas Priest is among my favorite bands, and their 1982 album, Screaming For Vengeance, is the first album I ever listened to from them back maybe a decade ago. This is where the band went from a bluesy hard-rock / metal sound to a faster and more energetic sound, more akin to speed metal from that era, but that’s not to say that their earlier material isn’t good, either. Screaming For Vengeance is one of my favorite Priest albums, and for a long, it was my favorite of their albums, at least until I heard another one (which we’ll talk about soon enough).

15: The Gaslight Anthem - Handwritten

Handwritten, the 2012 album from The Gaslight Anthem, is one of my favorite rock albums, but this wasn’t the first album I listened to from them. That would be 2010’s American Slang, and while I enjoyed that album a lot, their foray into classic rock with Handwritten, just resonated a lot more. Brian Fallon and company sound great on this album, and it’s still my favorite album from these guys. Despite releasing one more album in 2014 before going on hiatus until releasing a comeback album last year, which was ultimately disappointing, nothing tops this album for me.

14: U2 - The Best Of 1980 - 1990

Like with Justin Timberlake’s The 20/20 Experience, I’m going to cheat a bit by saying check out my piece on U2, and how I’ve grown to love this band, but their first greatest hits album is an utterly killer album. Out of everything here, this is the most “recent” discovery I’ve made, but I truly do love U2, and this greatest hits album.

13: Metallica - The Black Album

Oh yeah, The Black Album, now we’re talking. I absolutely love this record. Metallica’s most accessible album, and depending on who you talk to, it’s either one of their best or worst albums, but this is where the band really honed in on their penchant for good hooks. This is their catchiest album, but it’s still heavy. Some of these riffs are downright nasty, and it features some of their best solos to date.

12: Fall Out Boy - Folie A Deux

It’s no secret Fall Out Boy is my favorite band, so it would make sense that 2008’s Folie A Deux is one of my favorite albums of all time. This is their catchiest and most accessible, but like with The Black Album, it has some of their best hooks and also some of my favorite Fall Out Boy lyrics. This album deals a lot with their newfound time after their last album came out, and it’s got a lot of biting social satire and commentary, but it’s also just a damn good time.

11: Judas Priest - Painkiller

Judas Priest became a full blown speed metal / thrash metal band in 1990 with Painkiller, and this was their last album Rob Halford until the 00s, but this is a monster of a record. It’s the best Judas Priest album by far, and easily my favorite, but for good reason. Sometimes all you need is a kickass album, and that’s what this is.

10: Guns ‘N Roses - Appetite For Destruction

Top ten time, and first up, is Guns ‘N Roses’ debut, 1987’s Appetite For Destruction, and this is another kickass album, but it rides the line between being hard rock and metal. You can call GNR a metal band, because this album leans very much into that territory, especially with how popular hair metal was at the time. Hair metal was at its prime in 1987, and this album is among the best of that sound, or at least, very close to it. Axl Rose and Slash are one of the best duos in hard rock and metal for good reason.

9: AC/DC - Back In Black

In the beginning of the same decade, AC/DC released the massive Back In Black, and this record is one of the first hard rock albums I ever heard, as well as “classic rock,” and this album will always have a place in my heart. I don’t listen to this album much anymore, because I’ve already played it a thousand times, but every time I dust this album off, so to speak, I think to when I was 12 or 13, listening to this album for the first time.

8: Iron Maiden - The Number Of The Beast

You know I had to put some Iron Maiden here, and of course, I went with 1982’s The Number Of The Beast. This is the quintessential Iron Maiden album, as well as a quintessential heavy metal album (especially from the 1980s). I feel like a lot has been said about this album already, and I’ve talked about it a lot over the years, so I don’t need to say much else other than this album rules.

7: Justin Timberlake - FutureSex / LoveSounds

Justin Timberlake is back, folks, and this time with 2006’s FutureSex / LoveSounds. This was one of the first pop albums I ever listened to, especially after randomly picking it up at FYE one day back in 2012. I was wanting to get out of my comfort zone, and I had always heard great thing about this album, all of which are founded in truth. This record is one of the best pop albums I’ve ever heard, and there’s only one that surpasses it, but we’ll talk about that in a second. This is JT at the top of his game, whether it’s the production, the vocals, or even a lot of the lyrics, this is an iconic album for a reason.

6: Eagles - Their Greatest Hits / Vol 2

I’m a huge fan of the Eagles, and instead of putting their first greatest hits album from 1975, I decided to cheat and put both that and their 1980 second one. Both greatest hits albums have some of my favorite songs from them, but they feel like two halves of a whole. You can’t have one without the other, but if you want some great harmonies, lyricism, vocals, and just the whole package of a band that first started as a country / folk-rock band and turned into one of the highest selling and most influential arena-rock bands, you can’t go wrong with these albums.

5: Childish Gambino - Camp

Childish Gambino’s debut, 2011’s Camp is the first rap album I ever heard, and it’s also one of my all time favorite albums, even today. This record showed me that hip-hop could be emotional, interesting, introspective, and was more than what the mainstream perpetuated. I’ve come around on the genre tenfold, but back then, I was just getting into other styles of music, and I was a fan of Donald Glover already, thanks to Community, and this record blew my mind when I first heard it. I think it holds up quite well today, too, but I plan on writing a piece on this, so I’m gonna save a lot of my thoughts for that, but I love this record a lot.

4: Van Halen - 1984

Hell yeah, brother, 1984 by Van Halen. This is a great album, and it turns 40 this year, although I believed it just did, actually. I talked about their self-titled debut earlier, but their 1984 LP of the same name is my favorite album of theirs. Songs like “Jump, “Top Jimmy,” and “Hot For Teacher” are god tier 80s rock and metal songs. This album is also really awesome for featuring synth, especially at a time when synths were becoming more popular, but not for rock music. Van Halen made it work, and 1984 is one of the best albums of all time.

3: Metallica - Master Of Puppets

A couple of years ago, I made a list ranking the first five Metallica albums, and I put 1983’s Kill ‘Em All as my number one, but I’d like to change my ranking a bit here, and put 1986’s Master Of Puppets as my number one, although I do still love their debut, and I go back to it quite a bit, it’s not their best album, or even my personal favorite anymore, but Master Of Puppets isn’t only my favorite Metallica album, it’s also the first album from these guys I listened to. I guess you could say this was the first thrash album I listened to, but metal in general doesn’t get any better than Master Of Puppets.

2: Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High

You know, I’ve said for the longest time that my favorite album of all time is Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High, and I suppose you can say that the final (and top) two albums are interchangeable, but I’ve been thinking about what album is truly my number one. It depends on the day which one would really be my favorite, but with that said, these final two albums are two of the most influential albums on me personally. Fall Out Boy’s Infinity On High is the first album I ever got into, back when I was a wee lad, and only discovering music for the first time, so this album has a history with me. I just wrote extensively about this album on its anniversary a few days ago, so check that out for some more context on this album.

1: Michael Jackson - Thriller

Michael Jackson’s 1982 juggernaut Thriller is a GOATed album. Let’s not mince words here. I saw a clip of Donald Glover being interviewed by his costar from Mr. And Mrs. Smith about what album is considered the GOAT and he said Thriller. I’ve been thinking about that, and the more I keep saying to myself that’s true. This album is the first pop album I ever listened to, because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone of being into rock and metalcore, like I was at the time, so I remember seeing a copy of Thriller and I decided to grab it. Little did I know that album would blow my mind to smithereens, whether it was for its production or its vocals. I had only known Michael Jackson from the tabloids, especially before he passed, and didn’t understand how important and influential his music was, but knowing that history and context, this album is the highest selling album of all time for good reason.

[kaoharu]

OKKK elies super awesome and fun guide to hanadoll 👍🎉✨️

for my silly friends @p5strikerss & @aiidol hehe :3

hanadoll currently consists of 3 seasons and focuses on 2 different idol groups ( anthos and louloudi, tho for this post i will mainly be talking abt anthos bc i do not follow louloudi much . . . oops ) and the main story is comprised of voice dramas and songs / mvs . the wiki is very organized luckily so it is easy to follow the correct order and all the tls are linked ( but like if uu need help uu can totally ask me 👍 ) also if ur curious there is both an anthos and louloudi official twt. theyre silly 🫶

now then. its a little bit hard to explain the story w/o basically spoiling everything but s1 actually follows anthos' predebut days and their struggles as they try to make their flowers bloom so that they can become idols !!! the members include mahiro yuki ( img color red; hes the center of the group !! ), kaoru kisaragi ( img color blue; in charge of soothing the group - i realize thar probably doesnt make sense but. i csnt rlly explain it well lol ), haruta kiyose ( img color orange; the moodmaker ), lihito toudo ( img color purple; in charge of vocals ), chise ( img color yellow; the visuals ), and ryoga kagekawa ( img color green; the muscle of the group - also another hard one to explain jejdjjd )

s2 introduces louloudi and also a new member for anthos ( this is after they debut !!! ) and i dont rlly want to say much so as to not spoil it but. ermermm it kinda follows how anthos deals w there suddebly being another member . . . ? yeah anyways

my suggestions for getting into it is pretty much following the album order and watching the mvs then listening to the voice dramas !!! theyre not terribly long ( abt 10mins each ? theres 5 per album tho ) so yeah !!!!! uhmuhmm any more questions can be directed to my ask box 👍

[ithinkabouttzu]

hiii i love your work smm so can you give me a txt ship please<333

well im an infp/j , pisces, female and have a lightish bronze skin tone and freckles ( she/her ) my favourite people are my family , friends and txt lol txt helped me in the most difficult times of my life and im sooo grateful for them and i really hope i can go to a concert one day

anyways i also love being alone time, my hobbies are reading, listening to music and art and shopping and watching kdramas or any show. I am confident , empathetic and very emotionally mature I alsoooooooooooo love eating and everyone knows. pizza , fast food, home cooked food alll of ittttttttttt. Im also very very romantic, and love being affectionate to those im comfortable with. Consent is a big thing for me. oh yeaaaah and i have black shoulder length hair, average weight and height for my age. im also a perfectionist and when i want something done i have to do it myself. my love language is physical touch i love hugs and kisses and cuddles lol but i need to be reaussured quite a bit. i love art and maths, the logic behind it all is so fulfilling and fun. I'm quite intelligent i think ha i speak italian well but understand it best , english fluently a bit of spanish and arabic. i also find it so hard to open up and showing my vunerable side so i am a very slow burner but when i feel 100% comfortable you'll hate how clingy i can be. i really enjoy listening , so im more of a listener than talker. Also when i love, i love hard. im always smiling and im VERY sarcastic. I think and daydream alot which is good and bad. ah im also very dirty minded lol and when im stressed i like to tidy my room and clean.

oh my lord the way ive just sat here and waffled about myself for like half an hour ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh im so sorry you have to read this all. i think i repeated myself like 30 times too....thank u in advance, i love ur blog, its like a safe haven

kisses

L <3333333

Thank you so very much darling! ❣️🤍❣️

I lowkey had a little trouble on who to ship you with at first because i could see you being well with all of them! Buttttt anyway 😋

I ship you with…

Choi Yeonjun!

Song recommendation: Everything - Kehlani

- Ride or die couple, Y’all are both so loyal and always have each others back !

- Okay y’all would have such a nice and loving relationship with eachother, plus y’all would be a so stylish frrrr 😌

- I could see you guys like going out and shopping together, and he’d take you to all the best shops in town, and say like if the total came to be a HUGE amount (even if it was a small amount too) He would just hand you his card with the sexiest smirk on his face

- Okay you guys are always going to the most coolest dinner spots for date night, usually every weekend y’all go somewhere fun and hip!

- He is so affectionate to you and LOVES your freckles (he thinks they are the cutest thing in the world omg)

- Boy spoils you with his love fr, like hugs kisses anything, and he all know he is good with his words so he would always reassure you when he needed to!!

- Okay he would fine it so COOL that you speak italian ( me too🙋🏻‍♀️) but he would ask you to teach him and would be so eager to learn! Would also die if you called him any pet name in one of the languages you’re fluent in 😫

- Oh my gosh Like some days you guys will be all on eachother (sometimes y’all are just so clingy and cute omg)

- Plus let me tell you how he would get so turned on if you made any dirty remark to him (he just can’t contain himself around you like dude I know she’s gorgeous but chilllll)

- Honestly he likes your perfectionist personality, he’s a chill guy and likes to have things in order sometimes, also coming home to a clean room is always a plus LOL

Thank you so much for your request and I hope you enjoy this!!! 💖🤍