#not like disgusted or anything I just was like “??? when did this happen???”
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illbegottenfaith · 13 hours ago
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handwritten - theo nott x reader
yours and theo’s story as told through notes passed in class
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a/n - came up with this quick idea to release some pent up creative energy while mulling over lucky pt 3. will prob make this an ongoing series for small ideas I can’t get fully fledged fics out of. easy to write, easy to read, enjoy!
tropes/warnings - fluff, a minor hinting at angst, newstudent!theo, estranged friends to lovers
word count - 1.5k
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Monday, 10.07 am, Charms
Hey. You might want to pull your nose out of that disgusting textbook for once.
We’ve been over this. Just because you don’t understand something it doesn’t mean it’s disgusting. It’s very disrespectful.
What is disrespectful is you not paying attention to our year’s hottest new commodity - emphasis on the hot. I must say, he fills out that uniform quite nicely.
I’m sure he does.
C’mon, you’re not even a little bit curious? Just a peek?
Y/N? Hellooooooo? 
Oh my god. I know the guy.
???
What is he doing here? Last I heard he was being homeschooled.
Know him how??
We went to the same primary school. We were…friends.
Riiiight.
Don’t get any ideas. I haven’t seen him since I was ten. And he looked very, very different back then. Had a ratty sort of face. I can still kind of see it, actually.
Oh, Y/N, how could you say such awful things about his beautiful face! Oh dear, that bone structure…
Quiet, you. He’s really…grown. He’s so much taller now.
You know what you should do? You should offer to help him catch up.
On five years of school?
Oh, please, he was homeschooled. He had to have learnt some things. Who is he, anyway?
Theodore Nott.
Now that’s an Old Money name if I ever heard one.
Ivy. Be nice.
So? Is he? Old money, that is.
I…suppose so.
Are you sure you two were friends?
Yes. It’s been a while, that’s all. I just…wow. I can’t believe he’s here. Like, right there. I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again.
What happened?
He moved. I was starting at Hogwarts. We lost touch, it happens.
But now he’s back! Yay! Did you see those sinfully blue eyes of his?
Ivy, you have a boyfriend.
I know. Ivan agrees, by the way.
That he’s hot?
Yes.
He’s sitting on the other side of the room. When did you have time to discuss this??
Just now. Right in front of you. What did you think all that eyebrow-waggling was about?
I thought you were having a stroke. Merlin, the two of you are perfect for each other.
Don’t change the subject. He’s not gay, is he? Your friend? All the hot ones usually are.
I wouldn’t know, now, would I? I haven’t heard anything about him in years. Ivy, leave him alone. Please don’t harass the poor guy, sexually or otherwise. And quit it with the notes. He’ll notice.
How??? Has he got eyes on the back of his very nicely shaped head? He’s busy with Flitwick anyway.
Trust me, he’ll see. Nothing gets past Theodore Nott.
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Monday, 2.15 pm, Potions
Well?????
Well, what?
The chat!!! Your chat!!!!!! With Mr. Theodore Nott!!!!!!!!
You have to quit it with the caffeine. You’re far too excitable after lunch.
The chat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was fine. It was…nice.
Uh-huh.
He goes by Theo now.
Okay. I’ll pretend I care about that.
It was all very casual, very superficial. It was really just us exchanging pleasantries. Oh, right. He asked me to accompany him to Quidditch tryouts.
You??? But you hate Quidditch.
I know.
Please tell me you didn’t say that.
I didn't. I just said I didn’t know much about it.
And?
He said that didn’t matter. He just wanted me there for moral support.
Then what was with all the turning red halfway through? You looked like you were going to combust.
Was it that obvious?
Ivan had some pumpkin juice ready, just in case.
It was nothing. I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. He called me his good luck charm.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re going to rip a hole through the parchment.
AWWWWW
So?? Did you say yes??
I said I’d think about it.
BOOOOOOOO
Come on, Vee. He’s been flying since before he could walk. He always talked about joining the big leagues, you know. He knows everything there is to know about Quidditch, so of course he’ll make the team. And it’ll have nothing to do with me.
But he doesn’t even have any friends yet :(
That’s because he hasn’t talked to anyone yet.
Y’know, Romilda Vane wanted to know why he was talking to you of all people.
What’s that supposed to mean??
Eh, you know. You can be a little…snippy.
I am NOT snippy.
There it is. The snippiness.
Whatever. It’s all so pointless. Come Thursday evening, he’ll have joined the Quidditch team and he’ll be hanging out with, y’know, those people, and we’ll be ancient history. He’ll make plenty of friends. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Okay. If you say so. Also, at lunch, I finally tried that thing you’re always talking about, “applying myself,” and I found this article on his dad in the library. From 6 years ago.
Don’t you want to know what the article said?
You could have mentioned he was a death eater, you know.
I don’t care about that, by the way. You used to be friends and that’s good enough for me. But, Y/N, he was arrested six years ago. And you haven’t talked to Theo in six years. But there isn’t any kind of connection between those, is there?
Y/N?
Do not make me throw this at you. I know how you feel about paper cuts.
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Tuesday, 3.03 pm, Defence Against the Dark Arts
Where’s your friend?
?
You know. Who you’re always passing notes with in class?
You noticed?
Hard not to. It makes you all fidgety and annoyed.
Yeah, well, Ivy’s an annoying person.
I’ll take your word for it. What do you have after this?
Transfiguration.
Wow. That’s one of the harder ones, isn’t it?
Er, depends on who you ask, I think.
Still brilliant as ever, then.
Shut up. I’m not half the swot I was in primary school. 
I never thought you were a swot. You were just…enthusiastic.
That’s sweet of you to say, Theo.
Huh. I thought I’d always be Teddy to you.
We’re not ten anymore, Theo. I can say your name perfectly now.
That’s good. So, have you thought about it?
Thought about what?
The Quidditch tryouts. You’re the only person I know here so you have to say yes.
I don’t know. Some of the girls look pretty interested in getting to know you.
What?
Nothing. I guess I could swing by for a short while.
That’s my girl.
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Thursday, 8.37 pm, Common Room
SO?????
He got in. Obviously. Was there ever any doubt?
Did he run up to you? Did he hug you? Did he pick you up and spin you around???
Witch Weekly is a bad influence on you.
Details, please.
He hugged me. Kind of. Nearly tackled me, he was so excited.
you are SO his good luck charm!!!!!!
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Friday, 11.17 am, Defence Against the Dark Arts
Witch Weekly?
It’s not mine. I’m holding it for a friend.
Right.
Really, I am. Ivy’s a fiend for these but she has this Charms test coming up that she absolutely cannot fail.
I believe you. ‘Top 6 Magical Contraceptives for the Modern Witch’ doesn’t sound like your kind of reading material.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I was only having a little fun.
I’m not embarrassed. Are you embarrassed?
Erm, no, but you’re very red. Do you need to see the Healer?
I’m fine. It’s just hot. And no one calls Madam Pomfrey ‘the Healer,’ by the way.
Ah. I see.
Is there a point to all this? Did you need to ask something?
Oh, right. What are you up to on Saturday night?
Saturday? Dunno…wanted to take a crack at that Transfiguration essay.
Excellent. I’ll pick you up at 8.
Oh?
It’s nothing. A couple of the guys on the team wanted to celebrate with drinks at Hogsmeade. Everyone’s bringing someone, and I thought it would be nice if you came. Being my good luck charm, and all.
Oh, Theo, you probably don’t know this since you’re new and all, but going down to Hogsmeade is only permissible on certain weekends. And only start a couple of weeks into the term, so not yet.
Did you just -? Oh my god, you did. You laughed at me. You laughed at my note. Out loud. You’re lucky you’re in Slytherin, you know. Snape usually goes absolutely ballistic if anyone interrupts his lesson.
I’m sorry, I forgot what a stickler you were. I just - I didn’t think I’d miss it.
Please, Theo, forget the drinks. I cannot in good conscience stand by and let you break so many rules. You’ve been here less than a week!
Guess you’ll have to keep an eye on me. Make sure I stay out of trouble.
Exactly.
Great. See you Saturday at 8.
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derww · 22 hours ago
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DEVOTIONS WEEK DAY 2: POTIONS/DEATH
CW: Suicide attempt, suicidal ideations, mental breakdown, ableism, DDDNE
This is the first thing Zam does when he realizes that everything he has done this season has been absolutely useless: he kills himself.
Okay, he tries: he abruptly turns away, throws off all his armor, takes a few springy steps, and then jumps down. The height is small, but he has ridiculously few hearts, so it's enough...
A moment before landing something breaks on top of his head, and the fall does not cause any damage. The nasty swamp slime gets into his mouth, and he spits it out, at the same time shaking off the glass stuck in his hair.
– What do you think is the probability that he has milk? – Pyro asks Spoke, tossing another splash bottle in his hand. Zam stares at him. How the fuck did he even hit? He is disgusting and wet. He has milk, but only in the enderchest, and he is not stupid enough to believe that he will be given time to drink it. Or that it would make any difference.
– I don't know, man, – Spoke spreads his hands, – like, high? Doesn't matter. Let's continue my supervillain speech. Time is not infinite, you know.
He doesn't want to continue the conversation. He pukes on the spot. He reeks of corpse rot. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be anywhere at all. Oh, God, can he just fucking die already?
Mapicc rolls his eyes. He looks annoyed, but not surprised. He and Spoke exchange understanding glances. Zam mechanically wipes his mouth from vomit, staring past them. There are too many things around. Everything is too bright and distinct. He wants to pierce through his belly with a sword, and he is horrified to realize that this will not help.
They- they don't even laugh at his insignificance and helplessness, they see it as an expected hindrance, as something that will happen when you tell the PrinceZam about the impending apocalypse. For some reason, it's so much worse. The vomit is creeping up in his throat again.
Step. Another. Third. This time he jumps into the void – because the Abyss kills anything, and even if not, suffocating in the infinity is still better than being next to them. That's the only thing he wants right now – to die.
He barely does not manage to reach y 0 when he is teleported back to their feet, and he falls to the knees. He violently coughs up bile. Deep disgust fills every cell of his body.
– Listen, – Mapicc says wearily, – let's skip this part. Yes, Spoke has backdoored the server, yes, he has an OP, and yes, no mundane plots have any meaning anymore. Wormhole will open in a week. Are you with us?
He lowers his head. His hands are shaking. He wants to wash himself. He wants to be anywhere else. He wants warm clothes and soft food. He wants to go home and bake a pumpkin pie. He wants to kill himself.
– Earth to the PrinceZam,– Spoke snaps fingers in front of his face, – bro, hang off. I need your answer. I'm only giving you a choice anyway because you're different. Be faster.
He opens his mouth and stutters and gasps. Nothing in his body works properly. For the first time in months, he can't say anything. Why-why at all. What's the difference. They can't make his life worse. They won't be able to mess up any more. They are not-
A blurry image with black and red appears in front of his face. Black hair. A pale face. A red hoodie. Bandana. Horns. Zam doesn't have to think about it to know that it's Mapicc.
– Listen, – Mapicc's voice comes to him as if from under water, - I know it's hard, – no, he has no idea, – and really, really sucks. but this is the situation we find ourselves in now. Right now, you don't have to do much, right now you just need to make one decision. Okay?
Something inhuman is bursting out of him. He's throwing up again. Mapicc sighs.
– Hey, – he says too calmly, – it's hard, I know. But not worse than the end of season two, right? – much, much worse, – just take a deep breath, exhale, give yourself time to think and make a decision, okay? And we'll leave you alone.
He can't. He can't. He is not-
– If I refuse, – he says, dead–straight, – will you let me die?
– No, of course not, – Spoke's voice comes from somewhere to the side, and he doesn't have enough strength to turn his head, – why did we try otherwise? Wait for the Wormhole, and I'll think about it. Maybe I'll give you endless effects, or maybe I'll let you die in peace. Who knows? I haven't decided yet.
– Don't listen to him, – Mapicc interrupts, irritated, – don't think about it. Just decide whether you want to destroy this world or fight for its preservation. If you want to keep it, the defenders will pick you up sooner or later. If you want to destroy it, you will become the third with me and Spoke. We will work together. Like before.
He's looking past them. His heart is beating too fast.
– if I join you, – he says dryly, – will you let me die?
– When you will finish your work? – Spoke giggles, – yeah, sure, why not. It wouldn't matter.
He swallows a lump. His throat hurts. Mapicc seems to be looking right at him. He's suffocating. He doesn't want any of this.
– Okay, – he says in the end, – I'll help you. And then you'll let me go.
Spoke grins.
– And that's the deal! Good job, PrinceZam. That's more like it.
At least Mapicc and I will be friends again, he thinks detachedly. At least there's anything good about it. Maybe I can get over it. Even if it's only to get the fuck out later.
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itmeansiris · 2 days ago
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The Solar System Legacy Challenge: End of the Line Gen 1 pt.87
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3 hours later
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Kason sat behind his desk with his head down. The fire had been put out and the workers had all been sent home for the day. The servo was destroyed and worst Rufus had been taken to the hospital. Kason called Mercury when they lifted Rufus into the ambulance and pulled off without him, claiming that he couldn't ride along because he wasn't family. Kiersten and M arrived at the hospital shortly after. Kason hoped to be there soon, he felt obligated to be with Kiersten, waiting for Rufus to wake up, but for now, he was needed at the office to square things away with the fire marshals and police.
When he'd spoken to M last the doctors had assessed Rufus's injuries. They ranged from 2nd-degree and minor 3rd-degree burns and a bump on the head. What they were most concerned about was the smoke in his lungs and the fact that he was still unconscious. The doctors put him into a medically induced coma in case he awoke and had injuries they were unaware of. Still, their top priority was to make sure his head injury was simply superficial and not something more severe.
Kason pushed the image of his friend's helpless body on the cold metal floor of Servo Hold 2. He had one more task to take care of and wouldn't leave without completing it. He took a deep breath as someone knocked twice followed by the door opening.
Kason: Come in.
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Paris strutted in and stood in the center of the room. Following the incident, she'd refused medical attention, so when Kason dismissed the rest of the office for the day he'd asked her to stay behind for a while claiming he needed to get her statement for insurance purposes.
Paris: I've already told the police everything I know.
Kason: Have a seat Ms.Amyot.
Paris smiled as she sat down in one of the plush white chairs across from him.
Paris: Mmm, I like the way that sounds.
His insides twisted with disgust at her flirty tone. When he looked at her all he saw was her standing at the back of the crowd smiling as Rufus fought for his life. He forged forward fueled by his suspicion.
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Kason: We need to talk about your performance up until this point.
Paris: Sure.
She shrugged, her tone suggesting she was bored as if the conversation didn't pertain to her. It was as If she'd forgotten she'd attacked Aria just hours earlier. She was aggrogant but he was about to cut her down to size.
Kason: Ms.Amyot, your work with the servos and other machines is okay at best. You miss about 40% of your deadlines and your attendance needs improvement.
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Paris: Okay. Is that it? Is that really what you called me in here for or did you miss me while you were away, Kay?
He continued, ignoring her lastest failed attempts at seducing him.
Kason: You're rude to the clients and don't work well with the rest of the team. Computer Engineers and Mechanics alike.
The corners of her mouth dropped and she narrowed her eyes.
Paris: Excuse me. It's not my fault that your mechanics are babies and your computer techs are like teenage nerds.
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Kason: You belittle and berate your co-workers. You make inappropriate advances and comments to your higher-ups and clients. Paris, I think it's safe to say you are the problem here.
She jumped up from her seat, he could see her mask of control slipping, but Paris was determined to regain the upper hand even if she had to play dirty.
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Paris: So what! What are you going to do about it? Hmm. Keep me as an intern? Ha! Greg would never, my father will be sure of that. As for you, you're a nobody. Insignificant just like Madison, just like Rufus, just like your wife.
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He clenched his fist at the mention of Rufus. Her hate for M was old news. But she'd never given Rufus a second glance previous to the company dinner party.
Kason: If I find out you had anything to do with what happened to Rufus. I promise you will regret the day you met me.
The threat seemed to get her attention and all traces of humor left her voice.
Paris: No one, makes me regret anything, Kay. No one.
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Her lack of denial furthered his suspicion and deepened his hatred. He smiled knowing he would get the satisfaction of ruining her day as she had ruined so many others.
Kason: Well maybe this will make you regret coming to Brindelton Bay. Paris, Your fired.
Checkmate.
Her reaction was priceless.
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Beginning
Poses: Josie Throwing in Anger
@ratboysims sitting and talking
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aziraphales-lawyer · 5 months ago
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Literally no other way I could describe it right now.
#there are some serious feelings attached to all thats happening#im saddened. im mad. at the end of the day this is how i cope so im sorry if you dont feel like humor is your way out#im disappointed and digusted#personally#neil gaiman#is innocent until proven guilty and my heart goes out to the victims of this whole situation.#i know. i KNOW the right is gonna make it about trans rights and the left is gonna make this about zionism and how these results are#unsurprising due to him being 'either' of these (which im not going into)#because its NOT about those. its the disgusting behaviors he did w those women. consent or not he actively sought out rlly young women.#i hold out a tiny bit of hope but if all things go to shit I dont rlly have anything to fall back on in terms of fandom.#good omens got me through shit. it got me through hell and some my worst times ever.#ive made irreplaceable IRL friends#idk#just some feelings im putting out here. im still gonna 100% support all GO creators (unless they outright excuse NG's actions esp when hes#not yet proven innocent)#but yeah#i havent spoken about this in my other accs and I think this is the only coherent thought I can manage from all of that.#again. really upset. but we got this. were all in this together yk? theres no one side or another to SA but to support the victims.#thats all im rlly gonna say. just remember that Im sending uou guys lots of love. lets get through this <3#[EDIT: I MEANT TO SAY NEIL IS GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT FOR ME !!!!]
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imwritesometimes · 1 year ago
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part of my problem 100% is that it's hard for me to do a playlist for a modern-day ship and playlists are like my key to actually writing anything
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hobermallowed · 1 year ago
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"funny how feminization is only an issue when it happens to louis" There are people in this fandom who insist that Samstat is hypermasculine and reading him as anything other than a Stanley Kowalski pastiche is stupidity and projection. The same people who insist that female-coded Louis is the only right interpretation of the character, and they already imply that Assad's Armand is hypermasculine as well. It's the side of the same coin as the problem with a dainty, feminine Louis. They're not about subverting the gender norms, but upholding them in a twisted way
Gonna be honest, I can’t articulate a proper response to this because I just woke up and I’m about to go back to sleep because…no.
#it’s also not a good sign that the first thing i did while reading this was roll my eyes (no disrespect anon this is just…not for me rn)#i haven’t seen insistence on anything from anyone#i’ve seen the opposite for lestat#and not very much concerning armand#and feminized louis happens in a very small part of fandom and there’s no insistence? so…???#like who’s insisting these things? pls show me#now idk if that’s cause I’m on the tumblr side of things or what#but honestly as a black girl who’s dealt with hypermasculine black characters being used as props by fandom#and this is solely from a fanfiction standpoint#i’m gonna go ahead and say i do not have a problem with feminized louis#bc for so long it’s been nothing but dominance for black men and innocent twinkhood for their white partners#that’s been the norm in fandom for years and it’s tiresome and disgusting#so when people (especially black authors) write it the other way around i don’t see what you see#and the dynamic of a masculine lestat and feminine louis was established in the show#I don’t see people trying to uphold gender roles or whatever#i am just having a hard time understanding the true problem with this#but I really don’t see why feminizing louis is such a bad thing…#and it irritates me that these debates only show up when louis is the one being feminine and there are masculine characters surrounding him#because when it’s lestat it’s pretty much widely accepted and praised but the reverse happens and suddenly it’s insisting#or we have to be concerned about gender roles and this that and third#gender norms this and gender norms that…maybe it’s just fanfiction babe#and those roles were implied in the show with the nuclear family so again…?????#i just don’t get it I’m sorry#I apologize bc I’m struggling to see your point#sorry for my tag rant#it’s too early for this
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theworld-accordingtocasey · 2 years ago
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.
[[MORE]]
Just finding out about jeno and haechan bc I don’t check Twitter every day anymore or news either and ppl sub-post in vague codes and hardly anyone actually says what they’re talking about, or the names who were involved and I didn’t know where to start to look when people started saying things
#Haechan bubs :(#not to be cranky but 127 treats him better & he shouldn’t be hearing shit like that with how hard he works#he is NOT fat#jeno is dumb ripped but him being super buff doesn’t mean people who don’t look like they’re chisled out of marble are fat#i’m disappointed#I’m happy it made the news over here though bc I know our news gets reported back to sk therefore the company & the boys more often than not#know when we’re pissed#which is actually kinda annoying considering how seldom public apologies are made#but anyways#even more glaring is the fact that#Haechan has visibly lost weight not just over the first couple years but even recently he’s looked thinner to me to the point that#i was shocked#not like disgusted or anything I just was like “??? when did this happen???”#but I didn’t know about this so I didn’t think it was why#I just figured haechan is always booked and busy so it’s reasonable that he’s lose weight from always dancing#he looks great now so I don’t want to negate his efforts! but he also looked great to me before#why is Korea so comfortable with weight commentary…actually appearance commentary in general#& why would they even air that clip??#I want better for him#if I could just snatch taeyong haechan and mark out of that company I would#what’s the point of being hot if you’re not nice imo#it’s upsetting#cus it’s not the first time he’s come after hyuck unprovoked or any of them picking on him other than mark tbh#idek anymore#it’s definitely a reality check#like…if this is what they say to haechan what do you think they say about us…#he’s most def in the dog house rn
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inmirova · 1 month ago
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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
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puppmeo · 3 months ago
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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reflectionsofgalaxies · 4 months ago
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EI rejected my claim and doesn’t say why, and I’m panicked and furious. This could mean I receive no EI support at all this month, and not only do I have rent to pay which takes almost two EI payments alone, I now have school costs as well.
I feel like the world is falling apart around me just as I started to move forward for the first time in eight years.
#this is probably the most. unsafe i guess. i’ve felt in months#i genuinely don’t know if i can handle all the things happening#losing our home. having to find a new place. my monthly rent at least doubling. the cost and stress of going back to school.#having to cut my hours once i’m back at work so i CAN go to school#no having any clue where my family is going to end up living#knowing that everyone in my family will be losing money after selling the house because we will all be renting#but it’s the only option because my mom doesn’t have enough money to survive on and the house half belongs to her#so she needs that money now#but if we could hold on to the house for even just three more years we would be in a much better spot financially bc#1. my dad wouldn’t be losing 2000+ dollars a month on rent 2. i wouldn’t be spending an additional 600 or more on rent than i already am#3. because they’re developing the area around our house the value of the house will increase significantly#but it’s just not a fucking option#because sixteen years ago i forgot my fucking lunch and a bus decided to total my mom’s car and leave her permanently disabled#and i thought i got over blaming myself years ago because i REALIZE how fucking stupid it sounds#i was a fucking child i had no idea me forgetting my fucking lunch would mean my mom got hit by a bus#but it did#i forgot my lunch and a bus hit my mom and she had to leave the career she loved#and because she wasn’t working she was crossing the street two years later and got run over by a FUCKING car#and because she got run over by a car she was told that not only would she not return to work in the next five years she would likely never#work again. and she would also live with pain so bad they would put her on medications so heavy she became a different person#a violent person who i was scared of and who she herself didn’t understand and didn’t like and who in her own words#would have killed herself if she didn’t need to take care of me.#and because she was now an unemployed and struggling TBI survivor she was in the back of a car coming back from the CtCB awards#for TBI survivours when the car she was in was hit AGAIN and she needed to be cut out of the back seat.#the universe sure has a sick sense of humour#and because of the physical and emotional and financial strain on the family my dad became more stressed and angry and took it out on my mom#and eventually (thankfully for their own health) they got divorced#but now we’re here. losing the house. all because of the most disgusting butterfly effect i’ve ever encountered personally.#and it was my fault#anyway. i’m not going to do anything stupid i know that won’t help anyone. but i still don’t exactly want to be alive rn.
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snekdood · 5 months ago
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i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.
#eggs? just supplement the chickens diet with more diverse foods to make up for the nutrients lost that they would otherwise have#if they were left to consume their own unfertile eggs#wool? well unfortunately we've already bred sheep to constantly grow wool so you kinda have to shear them for their own wellbeing#milk's a little harder to convince me w. but as long as you're not taking more than the calf needs then it should be generally ok.#the true crime however is how aurochs went extinct so that humans could benefit from them.#i don't think you can convince me that genetically altering animals for human benefit was ever a good idea. but we're here already.#so we gotta figure it out. i'm still disgusted about how we got here.#give me a convincing reason not to be. i do not marvel at the 'greatness and intellect of humanity' because all I see is people#using these animals as a means to an end. it feels the same to me as genetically altering dogs till they can hardly function.#wish people would just admit that this endeavor was done by the selfishness of humanity rather than try to fluff it up with#'well the animals can benefit too !!!' yeah but who benefits more and why do they deserve to benefit more#its fine to admit its done for self serving reasons. i'd respect you more if you did admit it.#humans do a lot of things for self serving reasons. the worst is when humans try to convince themselves thats Not the reason they#did something so blatantly self serving.#i think a lot of progressive types struggle to accept when they do things for self serving reasons. im not gonna pull a 'humans are#inherently selfish' on you but selfishness is very much a core part of being human and an animal in general. it's not what defines#us and it's not our only trait. we are a social species after all so it doesnt serve us to be purely selfish#but we do be being selfish still. we're not gonna be able to fully escape that behavior. you're not gonna be able to escape being#selfish by virtue of calling yourself progressive. it's impossible. just do your best to not be selfish but also dont deny when you are#honesty with yourself and what you're like is important. you're never going to be a pure perfect good moral person ever.#and convincing yourself all your actions are ones of Morality is Not the way you should go about ANYTHING ever#its why instead of letting yourself be kinda sad about an animal having to die to feed you you somehow try to convince yourself#that the animal wanted it or needed it or benefited somehow. it didn't. and thats ok to acknowledge. you're not an inhuman monster#for eating a dead animal. that doesn't mean it cant be sad. that doesn't mean you dont pay your respects. be sad it happened#and at the same time thankful for the animal feeding you. dont skip with glee about its sacrifice bc thats just fuckin.... weird...#a lil unhinged......... 'im so glad you're dying for me :)))))))' like.... girl what#not that you cant be happy to be fed just like.... dont sound like a serial killer about it in your inner monologue.............
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rowarn · 4 months ago
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SURPRISE, SURPRISE !
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john "soap" mactavish / reader – 9.3k sale of a lifetime mini series !
tags: smut, developing relationship, virginity for sale trope, protective!soap, virgin!reader, afab!reader, no prns for reader, mean!soap? or maybe just intense!soap, soap is NOT beginner-friendly
cw: loss of virginity, soap's filthy mouth, fingering, multiple orgasms, wet&messy, sloppy blowjob, cum facial, squirting, crying during sex?/dacryphilia, consent check bc johnny is a GOOD MAN, intense heated sex to sex with feelings, cunnilingus, corruption kink if u squint, multiple rounds, sloppy sex tbh
;
It’s not like it’s hard to find someone to sell your virginity to, men come out of the woodwork offering you the money. It’s no problem at all to set up a little meeting and get to know them before you’re whisked away to a bedroom.
At least, that’s how it should be. 
The problem was there seemingly was always something that got in the way. Or rather…someone.
Soap, in fact. 
or.
After continuously getting in the way of your attempts to sell your virginity, you finally let yourself fall into bed with him instead.
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You couldn’t believe you wound up here. You always thought it would happen in some sweet way. A long-time boyfriend or girlfriend, happy and in love. You’d snuggle up afterwards and be told how good you were.
But no, instead you became swamped in debt and ended up on the verge of eviction even though you were living in the cheapest apartment you could find that wasn’t in an area that would get you stabbed for stepping outside. You needed money fast and you had one thing that plenty of perverts would pay for; your virginity. It’s not your most crowning moment in life but as they say, you gotta do what you gotta do. 
At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself so you don’t crumble under the shame of it all. 
When the chair across from you suddenly gets yanked out, feet scraping obnoxiously across the floor, making you nearly jump out of your skin. The man who sits down looks nothing like the picture he sent and you internally groan. He looks much older than you, no doubt in his mid 40’s, balding, and graying hair. You wouldn’t mind an older man if he were a little more…attractive. Sure, maybe that’s a bit shallow of you but fuck, it’s your virginity you’re giving away. You should be allowed to be picky with the man you choose! Under normal circumstances you would be so why not now?
Then again, this isn’t exactly normal circumstances was it?
You pick up the glass of the strongest drink you could handle that you ordered at the bar while waiting and downed it in one deep gulp. You gave the man a very fake smile and he grinned back, the sleazy sight making your stomach turn. 
You were going to need a lot more alcohol. 
The evening turned into night and you’re feeling the effects of the alcohol. Your ‘date’ doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest as you drink, if anything he seems elated. That thought makes you curl your lip in disgust. 
“So,” he starts when you finally lean back in your chair, having had your fill of alcohol for the night, “Shall we move this along? My place or yours?”
“You got the money you promised?” you ask, raising a brow, unsure if you sounded as drunk to him as you did to yourself.
“In my car,” he responds, grin sitting irritatingly lopsided on his ugly face, “Got it all ready for you. After services are rendered, of course.”
Anxiety coils in your stomach at the mention of what you have to do to get the money. It’s a lot of money and that makes your palms sweaty – you need it. You feel like there’s eyes on you from behind, making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. When you turn to look around, there’s no one paying any attention to you. Everyone in the bar was having a nice time. You wish you were one of them. 
“Let’s get out here,” the man grins, “I am just achin’ to get my hands on you.”
He stands up but you find yourself rooted to your seat. Your entire body feels tense, you can’t find it in yourself to stand up. You don’t want to go with the guy, you decide. Your fight or flight activates with terrifying speed, alerting you of the danger you’re in. Though you’re not exactly sure what danger that is just yet.
“I think…” you start and the guy heaves a big sigh.
“Don’t tell me you’re backin’ out?” he grumbles, not bothering to mask his irritation, “After I came all this way? That’s awfully rude of you.”
“I just don’t think I want to–” he groans, embarrassingly loud.
You feel the eyes of nearby patrons on you and your cheeks burn under the scrutiny. Shame bubbles up inside you at the thought of them finding out what exactly was going on between the two of you. 
“Let’s go,” he snaps, his anger bubbling to the surface as he rounds the table and grabs hold of your arm.
You don’t bother fighting back as he yanks you to your feet, instead leveling him with a fierce glare. You don’t want to make a scene in front of all these people so you plan to let him drag out outside where you can really give him a piece of your mind before hopefully coming back inside and peacefully getting drunk alone.
But a sudden, growling voice has both of you freezing in place, “I don’t think you’re goin’ anywhere.”
Your eyes fall upon a man, standing tall and confidently. He has a mohawk, brilliant blue eyes and handsome features. Upon first glance, you could immediately tell he was in the military based on his posture alone. He was intimidating, broad and well-built.
“Hey, dude, why don't you mind your own fuckin’ business,” your ‘date’ snarled, yanking you harshly towards him.
You felt your eye twitch in irritation but your drunken brain was too slow to react properly. You were still hung up on the appearance of this rather good looking man. 
“This is my business,” the stranger said, Scottish accent thick as he took two big strides over to the both of you, “Why don't you just leave quietly so things don't have to get ugly?” 
Your ‘date’ stares the strange man down for a few seconds, taking a glance at you before kissing his teeth and ripping his hand off of you. 
“You ain't worth this shit,” he huffed, stomping off into the crowd. You could hear the bell over the door ring, announcing his final departure from the scene.
“Well, he was just a dandy fellow,” your rescuer jokes, a crooked grin settling on his face. His shoulders relaxed and he held his hand out, “Name’s Soap. How about I walk you home?” 
“That'd be great,” you responded, feeling your stomach starting to roll as the alcohol settled. You knew you were going to be stuck with your head over the toilet bowl soon and you'd rather be in the comfort of your apartment for that. 
“Let’s get a move on then,” he waved forward for you to lead the way. 
The crisp outside air had you sighing happily. You hadn't realized how hot you were in there but now that the light breeze brushed against your skin, you noticed how you had begun to sweat. 
“So you’re military, huh?” you ask, leading him in the direction of your apartments “Soap.” 
He chuckles, “You caught me.” 
You smile, “It's kind of hard to miss, no offense.” 
“None taken,” he assures, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, “What were you doin’ with a piece of shite like that? Was he your boyfriend?” 
You sputter, “No! Nothing like that. I just…had a deal with him, that's all. I called it off and he got pissed. I'm sorta pissed at myself. Just missed out on a fuck ton of money.” 
Soap’s brows raise, “What kind of deal?” 
Your drunken brain forgets all about the fact such a deal should be kept quiet. Your mouth opens before you can stop yourself, “My virginity for his money. But I’m not like a prostitute or anything!” 
He holds his hands up as surrender when you get defensive at the shocked look on his face, “You need money that bad?”
“You have no idea,” you sign, pinching the bridge of your nose at the mere thought of your money troubles, “I never do this. You know? I-I mean obviously…with the virginity and all. But-!”
“I’m not judgin’ you,” he assures, “Hard times. But you should be careful. Lot’s of dangerous characters out there.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, shrugging your shoulders as you come to a stop, “This is my place.”
“Right,” he mutters, “Let me give you my number.”
“For what?” you sputter, watching him pull out his wallet.
“Just in case,” he smiles, “I doubt anyone really knows what you’re dealin’ with right? I do. So if you’re ever in any trouble,” he hands you a business card, “Give me a call.”
You take the card and look it over. It’s got his name and military rank but not much else. You raise a brow, “Why do you have a business card on you?”
He chuckles, waving his hand flippantly, “Just ‘cause. I’ll see you around, darlin’.”
“Yeah,” you smile, stowing the card away in your pocket, “Thanks for walking me home, Soap.”
He stands outside of your place, waiting until you’re safely inside and shutting the door. When you peek out the window, you see him walking off in the direction that you had come from. You smile and go about getting ready for bed, grateful that you’re not feeling that awful nauseous pit in your stomach you had earlier.
When you wake up in the morning, you’re still dressed in your clothes and you have no recollection of having laid down the night before. You groan, your head throbbing in your skull as you sit up. 
You stumble your way to the bathroom, grimacing at the sight of yourself in the mirror. You take the time to start the shower and strip yourself, determined to scrub the grime from last night off of your body. 
By the time you step out, you’re feeling like a brand new person. You stretch your arms over your head and work on drying yourself off. Wrapping your towel around your body, gather your clothes in your arms, and trudge back into your bedroom. 
You look through the pockets of your jeans from yesterday, pulling out various coins and candy wrappers that you remember snacking on in the car to ease your nerves. You finally pull out the last thing – the business card Soap had given you last night. 
It all floods back to you, and you find yourself pulling your phone out, opening it to make a new contact under the name Soap.
Sitting on the edge of your bed, still wrapped in your towel, you shoot him a text.
“Hi Soap, remember me? You walked me home last night! I was just wondering if I could take this as a business inquiry?”
You aren’t sure where the burst of confidence came from. Last night, you would have never even thought to ask him such a thing. But the fact your plans fell through last night with that pig of a man, you kind of had no other choice at this point. 
And luckily for you, Soap texted back almost immediately.
“Sure, darlin’. We can consider it a business inquiry.”
Jackpot, you think. Not only is he very good looking and nice – if he has the money, then you can’t think of anyone better to sell your ‘goods’ to. 
He’s perfect.
Turns out, Soap is more than ready to meet up. Not at a bar, you’re thrilled, but at an actual restaurant. It almost feels like a real date!
You have the opportunity to dress yourself up and feel pretty. It feels so much better than meeting up with that guy at the dingy bar. Your nerves are almost non-existent. 
You still have that jittery feeling everyone gets when they’re going to be going out with someone new. 
But this isn’t actually a date, you have to tell yourself, as you get into your car to drive to the restaurant. It’s a meeting.
When you walk in, you’re greeted with the heavenly smell of food and what you can only deduce as something akin to mint. It’s a lovely restaurant, tablecloths and wine glasses everywhere. 
You look around the room before you spot him, sitting at a table in the far back nursing a glass of water. You make your way there, coming to a slow stop in front of the table. He looks up, blue eyes widening at the sight of you before he jumps to his feet. 
“You made it,” he says, a smile growing on his lips. 
He rounds the table and pulls your chair out, gesturing for you to take a seat.
“Thank you,” you say as he pushes you in a bit before returning to his own seat. 
Soap situates his elbows on the table, chin resting on his hands as he gazes across at you. You feel your cheeks burn underneath his intense gaze, not able to gain the courage to look directly at him.
A waiter comes by, depositing a basket of fresh, buttered bread on your table, letting you know he’ll be around in a moment to collect your orders. You offer him a polite smile as he vanishes, acutely aware that Soap is still staring right at you. 
“Why are you…” you clear your throat, finally looking at him. 
“You look lovely,” he says, a smile growing on his face when you become more bashful, “You’re truly breathtaking, has anyone ever told you that before?”
You can feel how hot your cheeks are and you resist the urge to reach up and pat them in an attempt to cool them down. You’re at a loss for words, no clue what to say in response to that. You hadn’t been told anything like that before, actually. Nor has anyone ever looked at you with such infatuated intensity like he is right now. 
Thankfully, the waiter arrives to relieve you of this immense pressure. Pulled from his devoted admiration, Soap orders first before you put your own order in. 
Left alone once again, you and Soap fall into an easy conversation. You’re surprised by how nice it is to talk to him, he’s open and funny. He tells you about his buddies in the military and about how he goes out to drink every weekend with some guy named Kyle and that he thinks his buddy Ghost’s jokes are just the worst abomination on Earth. 
You get so lost in talking to him, you don’t even realize how much time has passed. Your food arrives and the table finally falls quiet. 
You both get lost in eating your meals. Soap finishes his glass of wine and leans back in his seat with a content sigh. When you finish your own plate, you do the same. The chair creaks underneath the shift of weight and your eyes meet his. 
You wait to see if he’ll say something. But he just continues to stare at you, drifting from your eyes and down the rest of your body that’s not hidden by the table. 
“So, should we get out of here?” you finally find yourself asking, burying any embarrassment deep down, “Your place or mine?”
Soap seems to falter suddenly, crooked smile slipping off of his face, “Listen, darlin’...I-I don’t actually want to…you know…”
Your cheeks burn a little and you shrink in on yourself where you sit, “Oh! Well, that’s fine. I-It’s just that you said it was an inquiry so…I assumed.”
Soap shakes his head, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours, “I know. I told you that just so I could see you. I’m just worried about you, darlin’.”
“You want to talk me out of it,” you sigh, leaning back in your seat again, “I appreciate your concern, Soap. But I’m really at the end of my rope here. This is my very last resort, you understand?”
“But you shouldn’t have to-!” you pull your hand out from underneath his and stand.
“I know,” you shrug, “I’m only doing what I can with my circumstances. I appreciate you taking the time to see me and let me know you’re worried. I’ll see you around, okay?”
You leave him behind at the table and make your way back to your car. As you sit, engine idling, the disappointment bubbles up within you. Soap is probably the absolute best you could have gotten in a situation like this. But, it’s clear now that you’re going to have to find a new guy. 
You just hope you don’t walk right into the clawed talons of some unknown serial killer or something. 
The thought sends shivers down your spine as you make your way back home.
So begins the process of finding a new person to get the money from. 
It’s not like it’s hard to find someone to sell your virginity to, men come out of the woodwork offering you the money. It’s no problem at all to set up a little meeting and get to know them before you’re whisked away to a bedroom. 
At least, that’s how it should be. 
The problem was there seemingly was always something that got in the way. Or rather…someone.
Soap, in fact. 
Around every turn, he was there to intercept the meeting you had with a man. 
A terribly boring man named Charles; Soap showed up at the bar you met at. The surprisingly young guy you weren’t even sure had enough money for his own monthly rent, Brandon; Soap was there. Justin, the doctor that lowkey gave you the creeps; Soap was there too. 
Every single time, the Scot would sit himself at the table and run the guy off, leaving you no choice but to go home alone and moneyless. 
You’re getting angrier with every passing day and before you know it, you’re calling him up and asking him to meet you. 
The second you lay your eyes on him, you’re marching right up to him.
“What the hell is your problem, Soap?!” you cry, practically nose to nose with him as you glare.
“Whoa, darlin’,” he holds his hands up in mock surrender, “Don’t know what I did to get you so wound up but-”
“You know exactly what you’ve done!” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest, “Why do you keep getting in my way?”
“That’s a mean thing to say to someone,” he responds lightheartedly. 
But then your glare wipes the smile off of his face and he sighs, running a hand through his mohawk. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, rocking anxiously back and forth on his heels as he seems to think over his next words carefully.
“I’m just lookin’ out for you, darlin’,” he assures, “This…isn't safe, what you’re doin’. You could get into somethin’ real serious. I just…want to make sure you’re safe.”
You deflate and sigh, “I already told you, Soap. I appreciate your concern but…”
Suddenly, he surges forward, big, rough hands cupping your cheeks as he pulls your lips to his. You gasp, hands resting against his chest as you allow yourself to melt into the kiss. 
When he pulls back, he seems almost nervous, “I wanted to kiss you really badly the first night I saw you.”
“So you like me?” you ask softly, not taking your hands off of his chest.
He reaches up, wrapping one of his hands around yours, “I’m afraid so.”
“Soap…” you start but he interrupts you.
“Johnny,” he says, “Call me Johnny.”
“Johnny,” you correct yourself, feeling your cheeks burn at the positively giddy look on his face, “I don’t know if…this…” you gesture between the two of you, “Is a good idea…with what I’m dealing with.”
His brows furrowed and a frown lines his lips. You find yourself wishing you could wipe the solemn look right off his face – it doesn’t suit him, “Just give me a chance, yeah? That’s all I ask of you.”
You sigh, “Okay, Johnny.”
You’re not sure why you gave in so easily to him. But the bright look returns to his eyes again and you find yourself feeling lighter. 
He steps back, slipping his fingers in between yours. He tugs you in his direction to follow him and you do, heart skipping in your chest as you look at your hand wrapped up in his. 
You haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time so this giddy feeling wasn’t one that you got to feel very often. 
Sooner than you’d like, he’s slipping his hand from yours to open the door to an apartment complex for you. You step inside and make your way down the hallway, tailing close behind him up to a door on the first floor – apartment 108. 
“It’s not much,” he gives you that charming, crooked smile as he opens the door.
“It’s better than my place,” you joke as you toe your shoes off.
“Have you had anything to eat?” he asks, helping you out of your jacket before hanging it on the rack by the door. You shake your head and he nods, “I’ll order us somethin’. Go ahead and make yourself at home.”
You watch him disappear into the kitchen as you look around his flat. It’s a modest apartment, a bit bare but there’s little bits of Johnny scattered around the place. There were picture frames on the walls and on different surfaces. The couch was navy blue and looked well loved. 
“Here’s some water,” he says, startling you as he comes back into the living room, “I ordered us some food, wasn’t sure what you liked so I guessed.”
You chuckle, taking a seat on the couch, “I don’t mind.”
“I’m not really,” he chuckles, sounding nervous, “Good at this.”
“Well,” you sink into the cushions, “I can’t say I am either.”
He laughs, a sweet, melodic sound that makes your cheeks flush, “Well, in that case. We can just…go with the flow.”
“Yeah,” you nod, “Go with the flow.”
By the time the food arrives, you and Soap are invested in watching a random season of The Bachelorette. Neither of you could decide so you looked online to find a wheel to spin to decide your fate for you. 
“Ugh,” Soap groans, “Can’t believe she’s goin’ on about how dreamy this bastard is. He’s a total tool!”
You giggle, holding one of his throw pillows against your chest as you sit. You’re about to add your own two cents when the doorbell rings. 
Soap jumps to his feet, “Fuckin’ hell, I could eat a cow.”
You admire the view of him from behind when he opens the door. His tight green t-shirt hugs the dip of his waist, riding up just a bit to show a sliver of tanned skin. His shoulders look impossibly wide as he stands in the doorway to take the food, muscles rippling beneath the fabric. His jeans sit low on his hips, belt tied tightly around them. 
Fuck, he’s good looking.
He turns, grinning and holding up the bags as if to show you his spoils. He raises one dark brow curiously, as if he knows what you’d been thinking.
“So,” he coos, saddling up next to you, placing the food on the coffee table, “Did you enjoy the view?”
You squeak, “I don’t think it’s polite to call out someone for looking…”
He cocks his head to the side and chuckles, leaning down to grip your chin, “Mind if I kiss you?”
“Now you’re asking?” you respond, breathless as you look at his lips coming closer and closer to yours.
“Aye,” he breathes. 
You nod and his lips are against yours in an instant. He supports his weight by placing his hands on the back of the couch. You have to crane your neck back to be able to kiss him but having him over top of you like this is exhilarating. 
You know you should stop before you get too carried away but you can’t seem to bring yourself to break away from him. Your attraction to this man is palpable and all consuming. 
Against your better judgment, you let him push you down, back against the cushions so he can crawl onto the couch. One knee on one side of you, he keeps one foot on the floor to straddle you without crushing you under his weight. But you wish that he would, fuck. 
Your arms wrap around his shoulders, fingers slipping through the short hairs of his mohawk. He sighs against your lips, one hand coming up to wrap lightly around your throat, just pinning you down so he can deepen the kiss. 
You find yourself tugging at his shirt, edging it up and up until he’s forced to pull away.
“Are you sure?” he asks, blue eyes swallowed by the black of his pupils when he meets your gaze. 
You nod, “Want you, Johnny.”
“I’ll give you all of me,” he promises, sitting up to yank his shirt over his head. 
It feels like the air evaporates from your lungs at the sight of him. He’s built, muscles rippling underneath a layer of fat – a man who is built for pure strength. His tanned skin is littered with tattoos here and there and hair speckles over his chest and stomach, a thick happy trail disappearing under his jeans. Which are tented with how his hardened cock presses against the fabric, desperate to be released. 
Your hand slips down the planes of his chest and down his tummy, cupping his erection. It twitches and kicks beneath your touch and pulls a groan from him. 
He reaches out, wrapping his hand around your wrist and bringing your hand to his lips where he places a kiss upon your palm. 
“Strip yourself, baby,” he orders, “Wanna see that pretty body.”
He sits back on his heels, watching your every movement as you slip your shirt off and shimmy your pants down your hips. 
When you stop, he realizes you're not going to take your panties off so he quickly does it for you. His thumbs hook into the band and yanks them down, making you squeal as the force jostles you. 
Soap chuckles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as his hands eagerly cup your breasts. You sigh at the contact, arching your back to press more into his touch. 
His kisses all over your chest, leaving no spot untouched, until he can pop one of your nipples in his mouth. You whimper, fingers sliding appreciatively through his mohawk while his other hand slips between your thighs. 
You easily part them, nearly panting by the time his fingers slip between your folds. You're already wet and sticky, drooling all over yourself with slick he uses to circle your clit. 
Your hips twitch as the first feeling of his rough fingers on the little bud. You cry out, tugging on his hair as he switches his mouth to give your other nipple proper attention. 
You arch your hips, his fingers sneaking down to prod at your entrance. With a glance at your face to make sure you're okay with it, he slides one in. 
There's a loud squelch when it sinks in to the last knuckle and you whine in embarrassment. 
He can't resist commenting, “So wet.” 
You whimper, lightly slapping his shoulder at his teasing. He chuckles, leaning up to press his lips against yours as he carefully works you open on that one finger. He presses and prods against your walls, waiting for you to relax so he can slip another one inside you — really prepare you for his cock. 
He presses against your g-spot and it rips a heavenly sound from your lips that only encourages him to do it again. You get wetter and wetter, throbbing and clenching around his middle finger. 
When he decides you're ready, he introduces a second finger. His ring finger easily fits in right alongside his middle. 
“There you go,” he praises, unable to resist looking down to see where his fingers are buried inside you, “That's it, baby, look at you go.” 
You gasp, eyes rolling back in your head when he adjusts his hand. His palm cups over your clit, the angle letting him really grind the tips of those digits right against that gooey little spot inside you. 
He watches the way you cream his fingers, milky colored slick dripping down his knuckles. It makes his mouth water. 
The movements rub his palm over your clit, stimulating the tender little bud and driving you closer and closer to the edge. You cry out, moaning and wailing the tighter that cord winds in your tummy. 
You clench and pulse against his fingers, a signal that you're going to cum for him. He works even harder, diligently worshiping your precious cunt until you toss your head back and sob. 
Your body trembles, thighs twitching in time to your walls squeezing around him. He moans with you, watching your pretty body in the throes of pleasure. 
When it becomes too much, you weakly reach down and bat his hand away. He slips his fingers out, watching you clamp your thighs shut. 
As you lay there panting and collecting yourself, he pops his cum-covered fingers into his mouth. He moans at your taste, slipping his tongue between them to catch every single drop of sweet cum he can get. 
By the time he finishes off the delicacy, you're watching him with lidded eyes and your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. 
“More?” he asks, a crooked grin on his face. You nod and he chuckles, “That looked like a good fuckin’ orgasm. Sure you can handle more?”
“If I can't,” you whisper, sitting up to tug at his belt, “You can make me.”
“Fuck,” he groans, reaching down to help you open his pants, “Want me to make you take it, baby? Make you cum on my cock until you can't even think?”
“Please, Johnny,” you whimper, not tearing your eyes off the sight of him stripping himself bare. 
His cock was fat and heavy, a thick patch of hair scattering the base with thick, full balls to match. You felt your mouth fill with saliva at the sight of his hand wrapped around his big cock, stroking himself languidly until enough precum had dripped out to slick himself up. 
“Let me hear it again, doll,” his eyes are heavy lidded as he looks at you laid out beneath him, breathless and sweating from the orgasm he’d worked out of you.
“Please, Johnny,” you whisper, needily reaching your hands out towards him. 
“Shit,” he grunts, “Alright.” 
He scoots closer to you, spreading your legs open for him. Your sticky folds part, exposing your swollen, sensitive clit and clenching hole that’s still drooling your creamy release. 
He slips the tip of his cock through the gooey mess, tapping it meanly against your little bud. Your knees flinch at the stimulation and your jaw drops open when he starts to push inside. 
It burns and you arch your hips away instinctively from the pain. He slips out and curses.
“You gotta relax, sweetheart,” he mumbles, hoisting your hips into his lap with an iron grip. 
“Can’t,” you pitifully whimper. 
Soap clicks his tongue, purses his lips and lewdly spits on your clit. You whine, hands covering your face when he uses his cockhead to smear it all over. 
When he starts to push in again, the burn starts but a rough thumb finds your clit. 
“Shh,” Soap soothes you, watching as the furrow in your brows vanishes. 
He works your clit in tiny circles as he carefully saws his cock in and out of your tight hole, inching a little bit more in every time. Your body grows pliant and soft, slumping against the couch until he finally buries himself to the hilt. 
“Thaaaaat’s it,” he praises, still rolling your hard clit under his thumb, “Good fuckin’ job. Take your reward, sweetheart.” 
He remains completely stuffed inside you, grinding his hips up just a little until he prods at that gooey little spot inside you. His thumb continues to swirl around your clit and he watches your eyes grow wide, a grin stretching across his face.
“C-Cummin’-!” you manage to gasp before you throw your head back. 
He groans, jaw falling open as he works you through the orgasm, rubbing your clit to ease you through every pleasurable wave. It’s only when you reach down, grabbing his wrist to stop him that he ceases. 
“Fuck,” you pant, pupils blown wide as he looks at you coming down. 
“Feels good cumming on cock, huh, sweetheart?” he asks, once again wearing that crooked grin on his face. 
You nod your head, still too fucked out from your orgasm to properly formulate words. He chuckles, carefully pulling back until only the thick head of him remains nestled inside. With a swift, experienced roll of his hips, he stuffs every single inch right back in. 
You wail, grappling haphazardly against his shoulders for stability as he starts to really fuck you. He punches so deep, makes you feel him in your tummy. The friction burns and feels incredible at the same time. 
It feels so fucking good that you can’t stop any of the sounds that are forced from your lungs with every mind-numbingly pleasurable thrust of his cock. You’re soaking him, dripping all creamy down his cock in a way he knows you’ve never done before. No way your own fingers could make you cream like this and he doubts you’ve ever sat this pretty cunt on any stupid toys. 
He groans, grinding against your clit every time he reaches as deep as he can, “Not gonna have shit to sell now, huh?”
You whimper, shaking your head as you stare at him wide eyed, drool dripping over your lips because you can’t close your mouth for even a second. There’s no way for you to quiet yourself, you’re loud, you wear every pleasurable experience on your face with no ability to hide or perform. Every reaction is real and authentic and he loves it. 
“Don’t think I can ever let you go after this, sweetheart,” he coos, slowing his thrusts so you can focus on looking at him, “That alright with you?”
You swallow thickly and shakily nod your head, “O-Only want you, J-Johnny.”
He snorts, sharp canines glinting at the predatory grin he gives you, “You only sayin’ that because you’re got your cunt stuffed full of my cock?”
You whimper at the punishing thrust he gives you, the pain of him battering your cervix making you tremble, “N-No! L-Liked you when I first saw y-you. I-I swear, Johnny. Please!”
“Alright, quit fuckin’ beggin’,” he snaps, leaning out of your reach, making you whine. 
He takes a mean grip of your hips, using just his strength to yank you onto his cock like a fleshlight. You wail, head tossed back against the couch as he really fucks you. Every thrust is too deep but gives you nothing but pleasure. He grinds against your clit every time he sinks in, making sure to also aim for the gooey little spot that gets you creaming around him. His fat, heavy balls slap against your ass every time he stuffs that cock into you. 
It’s all just too much. He should know better, really, treating a little virgin pussy so meanly. You’re too new to this, don’t know how to take such cruel, deep strokes. You’re squeezing tight, staring at him with wide, glassy eyes. He can’t stop the moan that tears from his throat at the sight of tears trickling down your cheeks – proof that this is all too much. 
But he doesn’t stop. He can’t stop. Not when he feels how tight you’re squeezing around him, how much wetter you’re getting as you get closer and closer to what he knows is going to be the best damn orgasm of your life. 
“Cum,” he whispers, shocked at how fucked his voice is from pleasure, “Cum right fuckin’ now.”
“W-Wait, Johnny-!” you wail, feet kicking as you fight against his iron-tight hold on you, “I-It’s…It feels w-wrong!”
“Stop fuckin’ runnin’,” he snarls, easily pinning you to the couch. He folds you up, knees to your chest as he presses his body weight down on you. He can feel the air being forced out of your lungs under the weight, “I said cum.”
You open your mouth, wanting to say something. But you can’t get the words you, only whimpers and tears. He doesn’t care what you had to say, though. All he cares about is feeling your tight little cunt cum around him so he can have his own orgasm. 
You still try to fight him from how intense the build up is. You slap against his shoulders, squirm and try to kick him off but he easily holds you down. Even as you fight, you never once tell him to stop. 
After a few, long seconds, he feels it. 
Fuck, does he feel it. 
You gush. It splatters all over his cock and stomach. He curses, slamming into you over and over, every thrust forcing another squirt out of you. You’re sobbing, fat tears falling down your cheeks and you’re moaning the prettiest damn symphony that has ever blessed his ears. 
The orgasm is too much, it’s intense and all consuming. You can’t come down, every time he stuffs you full, your orgasm continues to wash through you. 
“J-Johnny-!” you sob, “N-No more!”
“Fuck!” he snarls, cutting his own orgasm off when he pulls out of you. 
He pushes himself off of you and you curl in on yourself, softly sniffling and shaking in a little ball. He licks his dry lips at the sight of you covered in your own squirt. 
“C’mere, darlin’,” he coos, panting and breathy, hoisting you up and into his lap. 
He cradles you in his arms as you’re wracked with trembles and twitches, your nerves zapping through your body from the pleasure. He shushes you, cupping your chin to make you look at him. Your eyes are red-rimmed and wet from your tears, pupils blown out wide. He clicks his tongue and wipes his thumb underneath to swipe some away. 
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he coos, “Just get some breaths. Got a little overwhelmed, huh?”
You nod, slumping against him with a sigh when you finally feel like you’re back in your body. Johnny is solid and sweaty beneath you, warm and comfortable as he cups the back of your head and strokes his hand over your body. 
“I-I’ve never um…” you clear your throat, cheeks burning hot.
“Knocked your damn socks off, huh?” he jokes, a crooked smile on his face. 
You giggle, endorphins still rushing through your body. You shift on his lap and catch the pinch in his brow before he can school his expression back into place. You look down, biting your lip at the sight of his cock still hard and twitching, smeared in a creamy mess of your cum.
“Ah, it’ll go down on its own, darlin’,” he assures, no irritation to be seen or heard from him. 
One look in his eyes shows you that he’s perfectly prepared to go without his well-earned orgasm – just for you. 
But you don’t want that, you realize. He had made you feel incredible, given you an orgasm that you’ve never been able to experience in your life. You doubt anyone else will ever be able to make you do it again. 
“I-I want to help, Johnny,” you whisper, trying to swallow down your nerves. 
His brows raise in interest, “What did you have in mind?”
You slide off of his lap and slowly sink to your knees. You place your shaky hands on his thighs to steady yourself, looking up at him with wide, too-innocent eyes. 
He lets his head fall back against the back of the couch, a breathless, “steamin’ blood Jesus,” following. 
“I-I’ve never done this,” you confess, though he’s not surprised, “Is that okay?”
“Is that-” he laughs softly, “darlin’ any man who isn’t appreciative of you willin’ to swallow his cock is a man you kick in the balls, got that?”
You giggle, nerves dissipating as he wraps a hand around the base of him. You scoot a bit closer when he holds it out for you, waiting for you to do what you please with it. Your tongue falls from your mouth and Soap feels like he’s suspended in air as he watches you get closer and closer to the sensitive, leaky tip. 
The first contact feels better than he could have imagined. He’d gotten so fucking close earlier, buried in your cunt as you came around him, squealing for him and all. He knows it won’t take much to send him over the edge this time. 
Perfect practice for you, he thinks. You won’t have to be on your knees for too long or do any real work to get him to cum for you. 
You’re clumsy and it’s clear you’re unsure about the taste of his cock. It’s not just his precum, it’s your own cum mixed with it. He can’t blame you for being unsure.
He reaches down, a soft, gentle hand resting atop your head to encourage you. When you look up, he smiles so softly at you that it makes your heart jump in your chest. You suddenly feel like you’re the center of his world. Those baby blues never once waver from you as you sloppily lick and slurp on the tip of him. 
“Take a little more,” he whispers, lashes fluttering and chest rising as he takes a deep breath when you eagerly follow his directions. 
Your pretty lips stretch around the girth of him, taking just the head inside your hot little mouth. The flared glans are greeted by your curious tongue, making him whimper when you lick. Your mixed taste lingers on your tongue but you quickly grow accustomed to it. 
Feeling braver from Johnny’s unfiltered reactions, you take a little more into your mouth. Then more. And a little more until you suddenly choke, gagging around him. You pull your head off, sputtering and coughing a bit. 
Johnny coos at you, thumbing away some drool on your chin, “Not too deep, darlin’. You’re not ready for that.”
You hum, not at all discouraged from taking him back into your mouth again. You don’t take him as deep, accepting that you have your limit – for now, judging by Johnny’s subtle promise of more to come. 
“Just suck, watch your teeth,” he whispers, not caring about the way his voice cracks, “Move your head like this. Go at your own pace, alright?”
You lazily blink up at him, hoping he understands your agreement. You do as you’re told, folding your lips over your teeth to keep them away from his sensitive skin. Bobbing your head feels awkward and it makes your jaw ache but the sounds Johnny begins to make makes you temporarily forget about your own discomfort. 
His eyes are rolling back in his head and he starts to stroke the rest of his cock that your mouth can’t handle yet. You can’t tear your gaze away from the sight of those thick, veiny fingers wrapped around himself, getting covered in a slick mess of your cum that he had so generously fucked out of you earlier. Drooling all over him like this only gives him more of a mess to work with. It’s gross, frothy and dripping down your chin and neck, slicking up your tits.
It makes your cunt tingle selfishly. You think you could make yourself cum, slip your hand between your legs and stroke your clit until you find release. But you don’t – you focus on Johnny and his pleasure. He’d already given you so much that you don’t want to come across as greedy by making his moment about your own pleasure. 
Johnny’s free hand grip around the back of your neck, squeezing and caressing your skin as encouragement since his mouth is too busy moaning. You take his sounds as signals, sucking and moving at whatever pace makes him cry out the loudest. 
You had no idea men like him were willing to be as loud as he was. Usually, the masculine type of guys like him would be online whining about how moaning was ‘gay’ or some stupid shit.
Johnny didn’t seem to give a fuck. If he felt good, he was going to let you know. It made you feel more at ease, like you were doing a good job even though you knew you were still clumsy and it probably didn’t feel as good as head he’s surely gotten in the past. 
But it encouraged you to work harder to please him, to earn more of those beautiful, unfiltered moans that he was so willing to give you. They were your reward for the intense ache in your jaw.
“F-Fuck,” he groans, suddenly, eyes opening from when he had closed them at some point, “I’m gonna cum. Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.”
His words are slurred, like his brain’s oozed down to his cock, too stupid to think of anything except how heavy and full his balls felt. 
“Shit, shit, shit-!” he whimpers, an honest to god whimper, “Off, pull off!”
You do as you’re told, releasing his cock from your mouth. Strings of frothy drool connect your lips to his tip and you don’t dare break it, the sight making you clench around nothing. 
Johnny strokes his cock, another loud moan erupting from his lips as he cums. It spurts out, splattering against your cheek, making you flinch in surprise. You can see the way his balls throb in time to each rope of cum that his fat cock spits out. More splatters on your cheeks and lips and across your nose until it tapers off to slow, thick oozes that dribble over his knuckles. 
When he lets himself go, he sags against the couch, staring dazedly at the ceiling as his erection flags and grows soft. 
When he finally looks at you, you can see his eyes widen almost in alarm. He leans forward, cupping your cheek, messily swiping some of his cum off of your cheek.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he mumbles, still sounding breathless, “Didn’t think you were gonna get splashed with it.”
“It’s okay,” you whisper, feeling his cum still lingering on your lips.
You can’t resist sticking your tongue out to taste it. His eyes darken at the sight of you licking up his cum. You don’t make a face of disgust like he expected, instead he catches the way your thighs clench together.
“Is that right?” he mumbles, cock twitching in interest, “Isn’t that an interesting development? You like to taste cum, sweetheart?”
You whimper when he swipes more up onto his thumb, bringing it to your lips for you to suck off, which you eagerly do. You suck his finger clean until he pulls it back out, pupils blown wide, making his blue eyes look black.
“You ever had that pretty cunt eaten before?” he asks, a predatory grin splitting across his face when you shake your head.
His hand wraps around your throat, ripping a moan out of your throat. He easily manhandles you onto your knees, tits pressed against the cushions of the couch with a nasty “stay.”
You never thought you’d enjoy being manhandled and ordered around like a dog but fuck if you’re not learning more about yourself tonight. 
Soap smacks your thighs apart, and slips his head between them. You take a glance down and nearly choke at the sight of him laying on his back, staring hungrily as you cunt drips gooey, sticky strings right onto his waiting tongue that he holds out for it. 
The sight is so fucking filthy. 
But it’s nothing compared to the sounds he makes when he gets that tongue on your cunt. He slurps between your folds, groaning at the taste of your cum on his taste buds. He swallows your clit, cheeks hollowing out as he sucks. 
You’re already a moaning mess, crying out into the cushions which you claw desperately at. Your eyes roll up into your head when you feel him pop your clit out of his mouth, spit on it, and then slurp it right back up. 
He eats so fucking dirty, it’s disgusting and sloppy. But it makes you rut your hips against him. 
Soap chuckles, pulling back to watch you work your hips over nothing before you realize he stopped and whine.
“Fuck yourself on my tongue then,” he whispers, earning him a relenting whimper in response. 
You can feel the flat of his tongue, hot and thick, against your clit. The little bud’s so hard, swollen and pulsing against the muscle. 
With his order ringing in the back of your head, you clumsily hump his tongue. You drag your sensitive little clit back and forth along the surface of his tongue. It feels so fucking good that you actually sob. The sound tears from your chest and makes his cock twitch. 
You rut faster and faster, not caring about the way you’re messing up his face when you move too high or too low. You know there’s a mess on his chin, cheeks and nose but you don’t care. His tongue is there for you, for you to cum all over. He’s so good to you, holding it out just so you can use him as you please. 
As you grow closer and closer, your moans change in pitch and he suddenly reaches up, stilling you. You groan, an irritated sound that makes him laugh. You frown at that but it’s quickly wiped away when he grips your ass, spreading your cheeks apart so he can stuff his tongue into your creaming cunt. 
You shout, sitting straight up in surprise, your weight falling onto his face. He moans at that, rewarding you by pushing his tongue even deeper. It feels odd, different from his fingers and his cock. It’s soft and almost slimy, not long enough to quite reach any pleasurable place. 
But just the fact that he’s got his tongue buried in your pussy is enough to have you clenching on it. He watches you through heavy lids, waiting to see what your next move is. 
He’s enjoying your little show, he must admit. He likes seeing a sweet, clumsy virgin experience these things for the first time. He likes the fact he’s breaking you in, tearing your walls down and seeing you lost in mind-numbing pleasure. 
You surprise him by resuming the motion of your hips. You hump back and forth, riding his tongue like it’s a little toy just for you. And he supposes it is, he’d be a toy for you if you so wished. He’s addicted to this sweet, creamy little pussy and he’s not afraid to admit it. 
You reach down, swirling your fingers around your sticky clit. There’s lewd clicks that accompany the movements along with the sound of his tongue sliding in and out of your hole. 
You meet his gaze, he’s staring so intensely at you. It spurs you on, makes you fuck yourself on his face more confidently. 
You tap your fingers against your clit, slapping the little bud and pulling your fingers back to show Soap the sticky strings of slick that connect them to your cunt. He can’t stop himself from reaching down, wrapping his hand around his cock, jerking himself off to the sight of you smacking your clit and fucking his tongue. 
You’re pulsing around it, dripping down his face and mixing with the drool that's pooling out of his mouth. His face is a mess, it drips down his cheeks and under his neck. He’s sure there’s a pool beneath his head that will need to be cleaned up and fuck, he’ll lick it from the floor if you let him. Just as long as he gets to taste you again. 
You gasp, tossing your head back. His cock fucking aches, harder than it was before and more sensitive now that he’s already had an orgasm. He knows he’s leaking, drooling sticky precum all over himself like the horny mutt he is. 
You cum spectacularly, twitching and trembling, rubbing your clit and clenching around his tongue. It’s like a reward, swallowing down your cum straight from the source. He pulls his tongue out of your hole and wraps his lips around your clit again. 
You wail, shaking and throwing yourself face down against the couch again. You try to wrench your hips away from his punishing mouth but he wraps his arms around your thighs and continues to slurp and slobber all over that tender little bud. Your eyes roll back in your head as another orgasm tears through you, far too soon after the other. It almost hurts from how sensitive you are through it, not even able to make a sound as it washes over you. 
Only when you’re left twitching and trembling does he finally relent. There’s tears falling out of your eyes and drool dribbling down your chin. The picture of fucked out.
He laughs, folding himself over your back. 
“You still with me?” he asks, kissing your shoulder.
You whimper, “Fuck, you’re so good, Johnny.”
He chuckles, “Think you can take more?”
You eagerly nod your head and he doesn’t waste any time. He sinks his cock into you in one deep thrust. You choke on a moan, arching your back so you can feel him even deeper. 
He doesn’t start slow like he did before. He knows your little cunt is fucked nice and open for him now. You’re still dazed, drunk on endorphins, any attempts to meet his thrusts are sloppy and clumsy. It’s cute so he doesn’t bother stopping you. 
“Spread your legs,” he orders you but doesn’t wait for you to do it. 
Instead, he meanly knocks them apart, opening you up even more. His balls slap against your clit and you wail, the exact reaction he was hoping for.
“There you go,” he laughs, “You liked slapping that little clit earlier. How’s this?”
“So good!” you cry, kicking your feet against the floor as pleasure washes through you. 
You feel like a live wire, every movement forcing you closer and closer to your next orgasm. Soap isn’t far behind you, too sensitive and worked up to draw it out for long. 
He clasps the back of your neck, pinning your face to the cushions as he fucks. He takes and takes, using your sticky, gooey cunt. He’s pounding into you, hips slamming against your ass and his balls slapping your clit. 
You can’t even say anything as the orgasm washes over you. He only feels it, the rhythmic clenching of your walls and the gush as you squirt. You’re silent, completely still against the couch as he saws his fat cock in and out, squirt after squirt of cum splattering all over his thighs until he inevitably reaches his own end. 
This time, he fills you up. Seats himself as deeply inside of you as he can before he moans. His cock pathetically spits only a few strings of cum but the orgasm lasts far longer, encouraged along by the clenching of your cunt as you’re coming down. Or maybe you’re still cumming, he’s not sure. 
There’s a faraway look in your eyes, a wet spot of drool underneath your cheek on the cushion of the couch. You’re panting and glistening with sweat. When he pulls out of you, you drop to sit on the floor, the measly load he had given you drooling out of your cunt as it continues to clench and throb around nothing. 
Fuck, he’s never felt so proud to fuck someone brainless before. He knows you’re gonna need a good bath and cozy arms to sleep in. 
And his are the best around, if he does say so himself. 
He kisses up your spine, curling himself around you as you finally start to come back to yourself, pliant and soft. The both of you sit there, holding one another and sharing soft kisses until he decides it’s time to move. 
He’s in no rush, though. He’s wrapped around your finger now and you’re never getting rid of him. 
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do not modify, translate, repost, or use for c.ai. reblogs OK!
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feminisedlad · 8 months ago
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yknow those ppl who insisted f1nnster was a disgusting femboy pervert encroaching on the safe space of valid transsexuals? i wonder if those ppl now feel any regret for what they posted. or if instead theyll just pull a Gender Calvinism and say its ok because he was always-already a woman, even retroactively.
see in the trans community you have to be trans in like, specific and palatable ways. you cant be ambiguous about it, you cant be playful, you cant be arch. your gender is a document you sign in blood, and maybe it's okay to revise that document through the proper channels, but don't you dare try to pull anything over on anyone. you had better use the right gender words, and repeat the right discourse pts, and then maybe when you are doxxed for being a faggot, we will care about you. because you identified as trans just in time, just quick enough for it to matter when something happens to you.
i know this is me, bitching about a minority community that is vigilant and paranoid. i know why we are vigilant and paranoid. but we have to stop doing this. stop policing peoples' genders, even when you think it's "punching up." you don't know if someone is in the closet, you don't know anything at all.
fuck, man. did we learn anything from isobel fall? like, anything at all? maybe we shouldn't interrogate people about their gender and sexuality so much. it seems like it is causing more harm than good.
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silkythewriter · 10 months ago
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Vox and alastor with an undeserving to be in hell reader!
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Warnings!:non!
Fandom!: Hazbin hotel!
Author note!;I THINK TUMBLER ACTUALLY HATES ME (メ﹏メ)(。•́︿•̀。)it keeps not letting me edit my drafts, it’s happened like 3 times already this week alone!,…BUT ANYWAY I LOVE THIS IDEA I REALLY HOPE YOY ENJOY!!!!♡´・ᴗ・`♡
Summary!: alastor and Vox x reader WHOs I. Hell for a minor sin/crime
❤️Written by silkythewriter do not steal or repost any other platform please! <3❤️
ఌ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ఌ
“Each time I find myself
Flat on my face
I pick myself up and get back in the race!”
ఌ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ఌ
!📺✨Vox✨📺!
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When you first admitted what you did that counted as a “sin” he was flabbergasted! He thought they must’ve made a mistake. All be it one that was in favor since he got to be damned with you. But still!
Out of every monster known to man kind one who’ve committed acts that are despicable. You, one who can barely hurt a damn fly get sent with them?
At first he thought you were genuinely just joking. And he actually laughed! Like audible chuckled before waiting for the actual reason, which never came, and he soon realized you were being serious!
He always questioned why you use to refuse to kill, or at least scare people into respect. But then you explained how you refused to be like the rest of the sinners.
He utterly dumb founded you made it this far without spilling a bit of blood, at least for survival!
He becomes more overprotective as if he wasn’t before, good luck with that!
Cause now he knows your rules, he knows you won’t budge. Nothing would get you to change your mind. So he made sure to keep eyes on you 24/7, you may be nice, but the other sinners in this damned place definitely aren’t. And he knows that from experience
Would neither confirm or deny he put a small tracker in an item you carry every where.
This man has enemy’s as you’ve seen, demons, overlords, rival company’s, it’s a headache an a half for him. Not that he hates protecting you and your values! No never!, but the nerve of the people who think they even have a chance to lay a hand on you.
Gives you the lastest phone from his series, and yes he will text you and blow up ur phone up if he can see you through cameras around the city.
Even if you put it on silent he wouldn’t put behind himself to over load it and just show up on your phone screen.
Sometimes he’s just so confused how you can be so nice, or at worst passive to those who are poking at you. He thinks your a saint, even if you aren’t, an maybe you have a short temper still the way you hold yourself form blowing up is astonishing!
Sometimes he jokes about how if you were to go to Charlie you would be redeemed in a day. And at night sometimes he thinks about it and it scares him to know there’s a possibility for you to go where he will probably never be able to follow you too
He loves you to the depths and the crooks of hell, and he’ll be damned again if he lets anyone hurt you. He sees you as a small soft light in the red cover world, and he will do anything before anyone can put out that light.
He makes sure to keep a good distance between you and Val, a BIG distance.
He’s always on the edge about people around you, how can’t he? He can’t trust all these “disgusting and repulsive” sinners in hell around you. The thought alone cringes him out and stresses him.
He knows to some degree he isn’t exactly better then them sin wise, but he makes sure to do his best for you while infornt of you, he cares about his image, and wouldn’t be afraid to scare someone into discipline. BUT he will tone it down, just for you ♥(⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)♥
He has you under wraps, from the public eye in this case. As much as he’s one to show off his earnings, he loves you a little to much and knows well people will use you as a advantage. He loves to show off but you something just for him behind close doors for now before he can work something out
NOW if the public were to already know, he show off by showing how untouchable you were, demons knew better to approach you seeing as how fast he is to get rid of those stupid enough to try something.
Overall he respects your morals of not wanting to stoop as low as other sinners. But it dose make him more protective of you, your like a rare gem. There’s only a handful of people like you, and even then the numbers decrees daily, so he dose his most to make sure you safe and happy <3
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!🎙️✨Alastor✨🎙️!
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Like Vix he humors it at first! Playing around with it before Laughing with his usual staticky voice as he stared at you with his unnerving smile. You guys quite literally stared at each other for a hot minute waiting for the other to say something.
It took you clearing your throat for him to realize you weren’t just trying to get a chuckle outta him.
And for the first time since you met him you caught a hint of confusion, making you explain that it was genuinely what you did.
He quite literally burst out laughing, you, someone who probably did something everyone did once is in this horrid place stuck with the horrid monsters ever! Just for that single act alone.
He will admit he found it a bit amusing how you refused to kill or lay a hand on anyone. Refusing to stoop to other people’s levels. Now that for him is pure gold of entreatment! He’s seen people like you, say the same exact thing then crumble when backed I to a Corner.
But for the first time, for all the decades he’s been damned here, he’s seen you stick to what you’ve stated. You were very much quite a spectacle!
Now finding new amusement, he decided to protect you, cause someone like you were sure to be a one time experience. Aside from loving you of course
Now with your name being accosted with him alone is a shield in if its self. Barely any one approached you, aside from those playing with their afterlives of course.
If you ever feel a looming shadow or presence it’s most likely one of his shadows. Like Vox he is gonna have his eyes on you almost always
Although he loves you he will play around to get a reaction out of you. All for the fun of it!, he knows you cringe when he talks about his cannibalism tendencies he just loves seeing your cute little face scrunch up!
Even though with all of that he is a gentleman and will make sure no one is to bother you.
He’s quite impressed you made it this far without getting killed, I mean of course you have him but if you arrived to hell and didn’t met him immediately he’d be quite impressed and surprised one you both do meet
He indulges himself in the horrible aspects of hell, with no remorse or shame what so ever either. So although he dose respect your wishes he won’t stop or calm down his tendencies.. (;へ:)but on the bright side he’ll make sure your far away or he goes off to other part of the city and do whatever he wishes. But your likely to see on the news either way… ( ̄▽ ̄💧
He dose enjoy the more civil and nice talks he has with you though! He finds it nice to take a break from all the crude talk on the street from other sinners and have a nice conversation!
Great listener let me tell you, he’ll happily sit there as you explain your day away! He honestly enjoys hearing you genuinely happy!, although his a chatter box himself but he enjoys listening to you more then anyone or anything else!
Watches you be nice to the most repulsive, and rude demon like it’s nothing. Even when disrespected you find a way to calm down the situation and nicely at that. Of course the demon doesn’t live long once their out of your sight, but still! He’s pleasantly surprised.
He finds it rather weird that your nice just for the sake of being nice but still it’s definitely a nice refresher from all the horrible people down in hell!
You catch his eye rather quickly with how you stick out from others (in a good way! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ) and his eyes end up on you, you mainly have all his attention almost always if he isn’t off doing something!, your his light just live Vox he’ll make sure you’ll shine bright as ever and won’t go out.
Not everyone can catch it but in some rare moments he’ll be seen just staring at you as you happily talk away to Charlie. And for the smallest second you can see his unnerving smile turn into a soft smirk, eyes only on you and his mind filled with only you. This happens on the regular, it’s just he’s quick to cover up so no one sees!
Overall he loves you, even with some differences between your views he’ll still do his best to make you comfortable. Aside from teasing you here and there! But other then that he’ll protect you, your one of kind. And he loves having things no one else can.
ఌ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ఌ
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AHHHH HELLOOOOO OH GORSH I MADE IT JUST IN TIME THIS TOOK SO LOBG TO DO CAUSE I KEPT HAVING TO DELETE AND REWRITE ON A NEW DRAFT AUGHHH I HOPE TUMBLR FIXES THIS BUG, BUT ANYWAY TYSM FOR REQUESTING PLEASE COME AGAIN!!!\(^ヮ^)/’
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ladysharmaa · 7 months ago
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Why don't you love me?
Anthony Bridgerton x reader
Summary: Y/n and Anthony are in an arranged marriage. When she stops trying to make the relationship work and be the perfect wife, Anthony realizes what he's lost. Will he be able to get her back?
(gif is not mine)
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It wasn't the marriage she wanted. And it wasn't what he wanted, because, in fact, he didn't even want to be married. And he didn't mind showing it. But for Y/n, she tried to make the best of their unfortunate situation.
It all started at the beginning of the season when Violet Bridgerton decided that her firstborn had been single for too long. So, she spoke to Y/n's parents, who were good friends of hers, and they both decided that a marriage between the two would be beneficial to both families. Anthony was going to have the support of someone who would take Violet's place as Viscountess and Lady Bridgerton. For Y/n's life, in this society, having a husband was essential and this marriage would allow social advancement.
Thus, Anthony and Y/n agreed with this decision. The preparation for the wedding was carried out quickly and this event was the biggest news for days. Lady Whistledown didn't help matters either by immediately releasing an advert showing her doubts about Anthony having a wife.
This only worsened Y/n's mood, who already feared being married to Viscount Bridgerton, as she was now doubting all the lovers Anthony could take to their bed. Would he not respect their marriage? Did she just want an heir and take care of the children? With these doubts, she said the "I do" in front of hundreds of people watching the ceremony, and allowed just one tear to fall.
From the beginning, Anthony made a point of making it clear that their marriage was purely a compromise, and that he would never truly love her. He was going to fulfill his role and try to have an heir and outside the house, they would act like a happy couple, but it wouldn't go beyond that. In silence, Y/n just offered him a nod, showing that she understood.
However, since then, nothing has happened between them. Anthony allowed her to have her own room, something Y/n was more than grateful for. Having to look at the face of her husband who would never love her every time she fell asleep would be too painful.
She was expecting that on some nights he would enter her room to try to get her with child. But none of that happened, which only confused Y/n more. Was he so disgusted by the idea of being married to her that he didn't even want to have pleasure with her?
So she tried to distract herself with tasks that could take some of the work off Anthony's shoulders and try to be the perfect wife. But Anthony still refused to spend more than five minutes alone with her. At breakfast, he was already at the office when Y/n woke up to go eat, at night he preferred to spend time with his brothers instead of returning home. He was making everyone's life difficult and Y/n was starting to get more and more sad. Would this be her routine until the end of her life? Trying to please a husband who didn't want her?
It was on a summer afternoon that Y/n, upon returning from a social gathering with Anthony's mother and sister, realized how hot the mansion was. She quickly remembered how Viscount's office, the few times she had been there, was directly in the sun which made it even hotter. So she decided to be brave and try to have at least a friendly relationship with her husband, so she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
With growing nerves, Y/n went to Anthony's office door and knocked on the wood. After hearing Anthony's voice, she opened the door, finding him plus Benedict, who had become good friends with Y/n.
"Oh, I apologize if I am interrupting." she said shyly, keeping to the doorway.
"You are." Anthony immediately agreed in a deep voice, not paying attention to her and turning his attention back to the papers.
At the same time, his brother hurried to assure Y/n, "You're not interrupting anything. You even saved me from Anthony's boring lecture here."
The woman smiled uncomfortably. "Right. I just came to bring you a cup of water. It's so warm outside. I wasn't aware you were here, Mr. Bridgerton, but I can go and also bring you some water."
"Thank you, Y/n, I would—"
However, he couldn't finish his sentence as Anthony hit the table, causing his wife to jump in fright and immediately take a step back. Her reaction made Anthony's expression show some regret, but he quickly hid it. A silence fell between the three.
"I'm fed up, Y/n! Can't you understand that men are trying to work?! Go back to your life of looking at flowers and walking around without having to do anything and leave!"
Y/n's mouth opened and closed several times, trying to understand what had just happened. Finally, she pursed her lips and her eyes turned cold. "I apologize, Lord Bridgerton. It won't happen again. If you'll excuse me."
When she left the room, Benedict looked at his brother in shock. "That was so harsh. The poor girl was trying to be nice and cared enough to bring you a glass of water. If you don't want it, I'll have it. I'm talking about the glass and her."
"Don't you dare." he muttered with a clenched jaw, glaring furiously at Benedict. Where did this anger come from just thinking about Y/n with another man? "Now, let's go back to discuss how you spent money on a bet."
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Y/n's behavior with Anthony changed completely. Everyone noticed that the Viscountess finally reached her limit, and stopped being the friendly wife, now looking coldly at her husband whenever they passed each other in the mansion. However, as a couple and heads of the family, they still had obligations to fulfill together.
Public appearances were more tense, but they still managed to keep a smile on their faces and talk to all the ladies who asked about their marriage and when they would have children, giving short answers so that nothing would end up in Lady Whistledown's hands. They also attended a horse race, even betting on different horses that would win. Y/n ended up winning the bet, and her smug look irritated Anthony for the rest of the day, something his brothers were quick to tease him about.
But despite not liking Anthony after his cruel words, which Y/n still thought about constantly, she adored his sisters and mother. They had accepted Y/n into the family, including her in their gatherings and even being a should to cry on. Daphne had already said more than once that she would have no problem going to Anthony and try to talk some sense into him, but Y/n refused. Anthony already didn't like her, if he thought she was turning his family against him he would hate her even more. And she didn't need to make her life worse than it already was.
One day, when she went with Anthony to the Bridgerton mansion to drop off some documents, Hyacinth, Anthony's younger sister, took her aside. Y/n followed the girl to the bathroom where she, with teary eyes and trembling lips, asked her if she was going to die when she started bleeding from her lady parts. Hyacinth also revealed to her that she wanted to go to her mother, but she had gone shopping with Francesca and was alone at home with just Collin. Y/n, very calmly and gently, assured her that it was a normal thing and that all women went through this, explaining what she should do.
It was no secret that Y/n was happy that Hyacinth trusted her with this scary situation and that she was able to help the girl. Despite all the problems in her marriage, she now had a role in helping Anthony's sisters and she never wanted to fail in that.
To Y/n's surprise, Hyacinth ended up giving her a big hug, remaining attached to her for the rest of the afternoon. Her period was making her so affectionate, more than she already was, that Y/n couldn't stop a big smile from appearing on her face at receiving so much affection.
Anthony, when he finally finished talking to Collin about the documents he brought, I was surprised to see his sister on the couch hugging Y/n. "Hyacinth, what are you doing?"
"Hugging my sister-in-law, brother. But you don't know what that is, do you?" she snapped. The girl's change in mood made Y/n have to put a hand over her mouth to keep Anthony from hearing the laughter that escaped her.
The shock on Anthony's face was comical. His little sister was basically choosing Y/n over him. And in truth, he didn't judge her because his wife was, without a doubt, better than him. And she deserved so much better.
On the other hand, his heart warmed when he saw the bond that the two had created. It was clear that Y/n felt great affection for his family. Could it be that if he had accepted this marriage from the beginning, they would now be a happy family? That they would spend afternoons together, cuddling on the couch and talking to his siblings? All these thoughts were racing through his mind, and the guilt was growing so much that he felt like he was going to vomit.
"Lord Bridgerton?" that sweet voice he had come to adore brought him out of his thoughts. He hated that since he snapped at her, she never called him by his first name again.
"What?" he asked, still disoriented.
Y/n was looking at him like he was stupid. "I asked if you were ready to leave. Hyacinth already went to her room to rest. I would like to do the same. So you must make haste."
Her bossy tone almost made his lips curl into a smile, but he controlled himself in time. "Of course, wife. We shall leave now. But I have to ask, what happened between you and my sister?"
"All you need to know is that she's fine and she's a woman now. But don't worry, as your wife, I'll handle these situations. Unless you prefer me to go look at the flowers, take a walk, and do nothing?"
The hint, which was delivered with great anger, caused the man to blush in shame and lower his head. Y/n didn't wait for his answer, taking her coat from a maid and walking to the carriage. He had screwed everything up.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
A few more days had passed and the situation between Y/n and Anthony had only gotten stranger. The day after the situation with Hyacinth, Y/n was coming down from her room to go get breakfast, as she always did, when she came across Anthony at the table, appearing to be waiting for her to eat.
Y/n stopped abruptly, looking at him in shock. "What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for you so we can have breakfast. I have to go see my brothers again today to talk business, so I was thinking you could come with me and spend some time with my sisters. My mother She's also been saying how she hasn't seen you in a while. That is, only if you want to go. If not, I'll just go… Or I'll stay here to keep you company, whatever you want." he choked up, finishing his speech by drinking some milk, perhaps to calm his nerves.
Y/n remained in place without moving. She looked at Anthony strangely, as if doubting that those words had even come out of his mouth.
"It was silly of me to ask—"
"No," she interrupted him. "It's fine. I would actually like to go and spend time with your sisters. They are lovely. I shall go get ready then."
"Aren't you going to have breakfast with me first?"
"Lord Bridgerton, I've been eating breakfast alone since we got married and I came to live with you. I think you can handle doing the same for a day. Excuse me." she said with an exaggerated smile, turning her back on him and starting to go back to her room. However, she turned back to go get a cake that was on the table. "But I'm hungry so I will eat this in my chambers."
"Call me Anthony!" he exclaimed before she was completely gone. He had a desperate look, almost looking like he needed to hear his name come out of her lips.
"No."
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Like every year, the Queen decided to throw a ball to celebrate the Diamond of the Season. The most eligible maiden on the marriage market. Y/n still remembers the first ball she attended — Daphne was the diamond of the season, but Y/n also managed to dance with a few suitors. Of course, in the end, she didn't end up marrying any of them. However, the nerves she felt at that ball were equal to or less than what she felt today: her first ball married to Anthony.
The Viscount and Viscountess had entered together, her hand resting on his arm, followed by Violet and the rest of his siblings. Tonight they would have to be on the lookout for suitors who might want to dance with Francesca, the diamond of the season.
Anthony quietly appreciated his wife. She looked breathtaking in her dress, her hair neatly tied back that showed off her majestic earrings, given by Anthony on their wedding day. He was proud to have a wife like Y/n, and he regreted that he hadn't shown it since day one.
While the Bridgertons started to go their own way, interacting with other people and dancing, Y/n preferred to stay in the corner watching the couples dancing. She longed to experience that with Anthony, but not in a forced way like some were. No, she wanted it to be felt, for them to dance to the music and really appreciate that moment.
But instead of her husband approaching her, it was another man, Earl Cavendish. Y/n remembered some moments when she had already seen him, as he was looking to get married this season. As she approached her, with a confident air, Y/n lowered her head to compliment him, "Good afternoon, Earl Cavendish."
"Lady Bridgerton, a pleasure to meet you. I must say, you look flawless. Would you give me the pleasure of dancing with me?" he extended his hand.
Y/n's eyes widened, not knowing what to do. People had already started looking at them, whispering among themselves. However, she didn't have to respond to the invitation as she felt an arm wrap around her waist and bring her closer to him.
"Excuse me, Earl Cavendish, but I want to have the pleasure of dancing with my beautiful wife first." Anthony said with his jaw clenched, looking him up and down menacingly. "I'm sure you will be able to find other ladies to dance with tonight. Just not my wife."
The two men looked at each other for a few seconds, neither of them wanting to back down. Anthony grew more and more furious, her wrists clenching and bringing Y/n even closer to him, but careful not to hurt her.
"Very well. I shall leave. I hope to see you again someday, Lady Bridgerton."
"I will —" Anthony began by exclaiming in anger as the Earl walked towards another woman, not having liked the way he looked at what was his.
"You will do nothing." the Viscountess snapped coldly. "I can't understand you, you ignore me, you treat me badly, and then you act protective when another man shows interest in me? I never said anything about you having lovers, even though I didn't like that in our marriage."
"What? I've never disrespected our marriage like that, Y/n. In the past I've done a lot of things, but since we got married the only woman I'll look at and touch is you. I don't want anyone else."
"You have a funny way of showing it." she laughed sarcastically, feeling increasingly emotional. "I have to go get some air. You should go check on Francesca again."
Feeling the cold night air, Y/n's heart began to calm down. It was so difficult having to deal with Anthony's changes of attitude, she couldn't understand him. She just wanted to be loved, and since that wasn't possible, she preferred that they stay as far away from each other as possible since being friends didn't seem to be an option either.
"I'm sorry." the voice she had come to know so well whispered behind her. Y/n refused to turn around, leaning against the balcony and taking deep breaths to control her emotions. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I know that marrying me shouldn't have been your choice either, but I was scared. I was scared to have a wife, because that meant I had another person in my life that I could lose ."
She finally had the courage to turn around and look into Anthony's brown eyes. They held back tears and showed the sadness, regret and anger that Anthony felt.
"I'm so angry with myself for the way I treated you. You deserve so much better than this. And I'm sorry I couldn't give you that. The cruel words I said to you but didn't mean. I was scared to let you in. in my heart, so I tried to push you away. Believe that all I want is to have you in my arms. To love you. To start a family with you. Please, I promise I will do better. And every day I will try to reward you for what you do.
"Lord Bridgerton—"
"Please, call me Anthony. It pains me when you call me like that. Reminds me that I was… Am so close to losing the best thing of my life. I will kneel before you and beg for forgiveness if that's what you want." he murmured with a hand over his heart, beginning to kneel on the ground without hesitation.
"There is no need for that… Anthony." she enjoyed seeing the relief and happiness that spread across his face upon hearing his first name. "I just don't understand why you didn't love me? And now you want to try to make our marriage work?"
"That's the thing, I have always loved you. I love you. My whole body, my heart, feels love for you. That has never changed." he revealed desperately. "I was a coward and didn't know how to deal with my feelings. Because they are so strong that my heart feels like it's going to come out of my chest. Please, give me another chance."
"Hmm, I don't now." The look of disappointment was so marked on Anthony's face, almost looking like he was ready to burst into tears, that Y/n stopped his suffering and showed him an amused smile, making him understand that she was joking. "I think I want you to suffer a little more to get my forgiveness."
"I will do anything for you, Y/n. Ask me the world and I will give it to you."
"Such a romantic now, aren't you?" she whispered, admiring his features.
She didn't realize their faces were so close until she felt his nose trace the delicate skin of her cheek. A gasp escaped her mouth, and Anthony took the opportunity to connect their lips in an unforgettable kiss.
Anthony pulled away quicker than he wanted, but he needed to make sure this was really what his wife wanted. "I love you."
"Kiss me again, and maybe I will also tell you that."
And what his wife wanted, he did. The two remained on the balcony, enjoying the comfort the other gave them. They still had a long way to go, but they knew that from that moment on, their lives would change drastically for the better. They had each other.
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navybrat817 · 6 months ago
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Jawbreaker
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky put a mouthy rookie in his place. Word Count: Over 800 Warnings: Established relationship, mention of injury, misogyny, punching, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes defending you (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm dedicating this to @whisperlullaby , who got to read this in advance, because she deserves this man (along with the rest of you). ❤️Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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A small part of Bucky felt bad as he idly wiped his hand with a towel. A very small part.
He didn’t want people to fear him because of his past and he refused to let it define him. That meant that he tried his best to avoid violent tactics unless absolutely necessary.
But today, well, fuck that. The fucker had it coming.
Steve stood in front of him, his blue eyes narrowed as he waited for his best friend to acknowledge him.
Oh, Bucky expected some sort of reprimand, but he was sure Steve would change his tune in a minute or so.
“You gonna ask me what happened, punk, or glare at me until I talk?” He asked, tossing the towel away.
The blonde huffed out a laugh, but he didn’t look amused. “Why did you break that rookie’s jaw?”
Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the phrase? He fucked around and found out.”
You would’ve been proud of him for that reference.
Steve shook his head when Sam burst out laughing a few feet away. “Sam, please,” he begged, though his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “What did the guy do?”
A bitter taste flooded Bucky’s mouth as anger coursed through his veins again. He inhaled as he thought of your sweet smile and soft touch before he exhaled, the storm inside of him calming.
“Buck, you gotta tell us something,” Steve urged, needing some sort of information to try and do some damage control.
The brunette straightened up to look his friend in the eyes, wanting him to see the fury beneath the cold mask. “He told my girl to throw an apron on and get back in the kitchen when she went to spar.”
You, one of the most capable agents Bucky had ever known.
You, who had shown nothing but kindness to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it.
The person Bucky was lucky enough to call his other half. His better half.
And some asshole rookie had the gall to treat you as if you didn’t belong there with the rest of them.
Sam was no longer laughing. Steve’s jaw clenched in understanding.
Bucky swallowed, that fury threatening to surface again as he remembered the hurt that filled your eyes at the comment. “You know I’d support anything she wants to do, whether that’s working or staying at home. It doesn’t give some prick the right to make her feel bad for her decision.”
“You know I don’t like bullies, but breaking his jaw?” Steve questioned. The guy deserved it, but did the punishment actually fit the crime?
“When she walked away, he said to come back when she was ready to see what a real man could do for her,” he said, the words coming out like a snarl.
The way you tensed up, fear and disgust flickering on your face, he didn’t think. A switch inside of him went off and he swung.
The fucker was lucky that all he got was a broken jaw. He could’ve done so much worse.
And it wasn’t that you couldn’t defend yourself because you could, but you shouldn’t have to put up with garbage like that.
A cracking sound echoed in the room before he realized he crushed the armrest of his seat. “Fuck. I’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, kicking a bit of the broken piece with his boot. “Can you just tell me how much trouble I’m in so I can get back to my girl?”
He didn’t care if he they suspended or even fired him as long as he got back to you.
The room stayed silent before Sam mused, “Technically, what the rookie did counts as harassment.”
Steve nodded. “And I’m sure Nat can persuade him not to sue for the injury he received,” he added, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll take care of it, Buck. Just. No more breaking jaws, okay?”
“When it comes to my girl, I make no promises,” Bucky smiled, his heart racing at the thought of you. “And maybe he’ll think twice before he opens his mouth again.”
“The damage you did, I don’t think he can open his mouth at all,” Sam mumbled.
Bucky’s phone went off before he could comment, his heart swelling as he read your text. He had to bite back a groan, too.
“Thank you again, Jawbreaker. I love you and I’ll be on my knees waiting for you.”
You wanted to thank him not just with words, but with your body and heart. It all belonged to him, like he belonged to you.
And he didn’t need to tell Steve and Sam what the message said since it was just for the two of you. “Love you, too, baby. Nothing to thank me for, but I’m on my way. Be ready.”
“Yes, Sir.”
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Maybe we'll see how you "thank" Bucky down the road. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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