#not like any more proof is needed. but it hits the point home much much harder

[meme-loving-stuck]

i remember being brought up christian like, almost concerned that i never felt a connection to any of the shit they were talkin about,

and when i was younger i was like "oh no! am i bad for not feeling connected to god?? is it bad i feel like my dead mom doesnt talk to me or watch over me?? am i horrible for pretending?????"

but turns out i just had Autism Powers that made me immune to it and i was able to completely sever myself from the idea of being Christian at the ripe old age of like 13. and it was such a HUGE comfort to see that there were all these other beliefs and spiritual sort of things that other people chose to believe in and didnt necessarily treat their beliefs as COLD HARD UNDENIABLE FACT the way christians treat the existence of god & heaven & hell

like now that i am older i know i was in fact traumatized by the culturally catholic beliefs my family held & forced on us all, but i am really immensely grateful that my child self looked at all the other aspects of christianity that would horrify most other children into behaving/conforming, and basically just went, "okay, source?"

and that was the end of that

[plasticsandwich]

i guess i should make a cohost now

[vervainandspritz]

HEADCANONS - what would he do to get you in the mood?

Characters: Lenny Miller, Jonathan Crane, Robert Fischer, Jackson Rippner, Raymond Leon, Emmett (TQPII), Tommy Shelby,

A/N: Requested by @lau219 ,y'all feel free to send requests.

~~

Lenny Miller - Leonard is an experienced man, he knows how to get his way around Y/N. Pretty frequently on his way home, he would already have a rough plan on the evening ahead of them. Sometimes grabbing a bouquet of flowers in the nearby florist shop or a bottle of wine. After coming home, Lenny impatiently would find her around the house, searching for any physical contact he could get. "Did you miss me like I missed you?" He'd ask her in that velvety voice, thumbs rubbing up and down on the little crevice of her hips, almost teasing. Sometimes they end up sitting on the couch, Y/N's feet on his lap as she told him all about her day, while Leonard listened and gave her a massage, hands barely visibly moving higher with each stroke. "Poor girl" He liked to tease, closing the proximity once his pants became too tight in a crotch from the simple touches. "Left you all alone here" From that point, he didn't play coy. Knowing all the right spots to touch, he effortlessly kept making her go soft, almost putty in his hands.

~

Jonathan Crane - Jonathan's methods differed depending on the mood he was in. Sometimes days in Arkham were more difficult than the others, and so his patience ran thin. He'd come back home abruptly, peeling the layers of clothing away. The way he'd press his bare, hot chest against Y/N's back, searching closeness he could get only from her. "Was it a bad day?" She would ask, turning around to face him. Sometimes it would all start from the touch as innocent as holding hands, when he'd direct her hand to his cheek, steely blue eyes carefully studying her body covered in the clothes she was wearing. Pulling her closer till their fronts would connect, and she'd feel the proof of his urgency. His own hands landing on her back, massaging the skin and pulling her against his chest while simultaneously hiding his face in her neck. The way she'd feel him so intensely slightly trembling, connected with shivering delightfully from how his hot breath bounced off her skin could come off as symptoms of fear to a mind so great in his very major.

~

Robert Fischer - Robert's favourite way of showing affection would come on display as soon as he made it through the door. He thoroughly enjoyed the ability Y/N taught him - talking. Using words of affection was one of the greatest joys for both of them, after all the time it took for him to get used to doing so. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. Missed you so much" He spoke softly into her ear, the vulnerable tone of his voice showing nothing but honesty. Y/N immediately mirrored his mood most of the time, growing warm in his embrace. In a couple swift movements he'd gain access to her skin, caressing it delicately while simultaneously holding her gaze. "I need you" he'd confess quietly, leaning to capture her lips in a kiss so needy, Y/N could barely breathe.

~

Jackson Rippner - Jackson was anything but patient when this urge would hit. It wouldn't matter whether she was busy or not, his hot hands would grasp her hips, often pressing her against something to gain control. Leaning down to graze his nose against the sensitive skin of her neck, taking in the scent that never failed to make him hard. "Jackson, I'm busy" Y/N would sometimes manage to stutter out, feeling the heavy weight of his body against her back. A quiet chuckle would push past his lips, as he pressed harder. "What can possibly be more important than taking care of your man?" His voice would come off arrogant, often purposely. Knowing how well it worked on working her up. His roughed up hands would move higher, barely brushing against her breasts to come resting on her throat, not squeezing just yet. "Feel what you do to me, sweetheart?" He'd growl, nearly on the edge of just... Bending her over the desk and taking what he wanted. Giving her throat a little squeeze, he'd quickly reach between her legs, getting a hold of her. Jackson's lips would stretch into an arrogant grin as he'd feel the wetness beneath her panties. Lightly rubbing against her covered slit, he'd lean closer to whisper. "So wet and needy. I'll give you what you need, but you owe me one, hmm?"

~

Raymond Leon - Raymond wasn't one to ask, not to.. talk too much. He liked to use the advantage of how easily bothered Y/N would get seeing him like that. "What are you doing?" he'd ask like it mattered, leaning on the counter, crossing his arms over his bare chest. His scent and warmth would be enough to make her notice the close proximity, causing Y/N to squeeze her thighs together lightly. Not going unnoticed under his watchful gaze, as he'd keep looking at her, knowing well she could feel him watching. Brushing his arm lightly against hers, he'd move around pretending to be busy before finally having her cornered. She'd be breathing heavily, eyes taking greedily the sight of his bare, freckles skin and muscles on his torso. Sooner or later his hands would end up on her face, pulling her closer. Their noses brushing against each other as he'd smile, looking deeply into her eyes. "What got you so bothered, honey?" Raymond would ask, because even though he hated talking, he secretly loved hearing her talk.

~

Emmett - His favourite thing to get Y/N in the mood would always be kissing. He'd lean in for a kiss, his arms wrapping tightly around her middle to keep her in place. The deep groans leaving his lips would echo in her stomach, making the heat pool to the lower side of it. "So beautiful" He'd murmur in a deep voice, keeping her lips occupied with his own while slowly touching and grasping every inch of her skin he could get to. "Emmett–" Y/N's whiny voice would never cease to make him lightheaded as he moved lower, kissing a trail they both knew by heart already. "Keep saying it, baby. Keep saying my name" His voice was rougher with lust as he kept her legs apart, kissing her stomach and hips. She had a hard time staying still, squirming needily in his grasp. "Come here.." He cooed, looking her in the eyes as his face moved closer to where she needed him the most. "Let me take care of you" Emmett whispered, as his face leaned down, diving between her legs.

~

Tommy Shelby - Thomas loved the control he secretly held over Y/N when it comes to her needs. Being so fluent in directing them with his touch or affection. The way she'd move around, doing her own thing while pretending to not feel how he looked at her. "Come here, darling" He'd eventually call out, patting his thigh. He'd use the close proximity to look her in the eyes, encouraging to talk about her whereabouts when he was at work, while petting her thighs lightly. He touched and felt, eyes following the tender lines of her body beneath the clothes she wore. He'd proceed to touch caress her cheeks, pulling her closer as he murmured how beautiful she was. Y/N could never remain unaffected under his rough fingers and soft words, leaning into his touch with a sigh. "You're my good girl, aren't you? Always so good for me." He purred, feeling how fast her heartbeat became under the weight of his seductive words. He'd gently rub her inner thighs, before parting her legs and letting his hands claim what was his Swallowing every cry that would come out of her mouth not longer after, as she writhed on his lap in orgasmic spasms.

[farfromstrange]

Enduring | Matt Murdock x AFAB!Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x afab!Reader

Warnings: Angst, chronic (lower abdominal) pain, mentions of spotting (blood), self-loathing, allusions to Doctors Not Listening To Patients With A Uterus, health anxiety (warranted), non-sexual intimacy, hurt/comfort, self-indulgent, not proof-read

Summary: You’ve been experiencing chronic lower abdominal pain for years regardless of the point in your menstrual cycle. Some days, it’s worse than others, but when the first heatwave of the year hits New York City and you have another flare-up, your day takes a sudden turn for the worse. Thankfully, Matt is there to comfort you in any way he can.

WC: 3k

A/n: Even though I tagged my tag list, don't read if this could be triggering to you! So, I know pain is a very sensitive subject and everyone experiences it differently. I used my personal experience with pain and chasing a diagnosis to write this. That doesn’t mean it’s the only experience. Lower abdominal pain can have many causes, which is why advice from a medical professional is often necessary. That being said, I know how hard it can be to have been born into a female body and be treated like my pain is worth less for whatever reason just because I was born female. There is no shame in standing up for yourself in a man’s world that completely disregards women’s health. I had to learn it the hard way to the point it has taken a toll on my mental health, so I just needed to write a little comfort piece for my own peace of mind before my appointment on Monday. I wrote this for the sake of getting it out of my system, meaning it’s probably not perfect, but if you can relate to what I said in any way, feel free to read it and make up your own mind. (I will not be posting this on AO3 for now. I hope you can forgive me for that.)

Matt always knows when something is wrong with you. 

Sometimes, he can smell it. Other times, it’s the way you taste when you kiss him or the sweat that clings to your skin, or when he goes down on you and your essence is slightly tangier than it was the day before. 

Matt knows when you’re ovulating because the changes in your hormones make him go crazier than he already is for you, and he is familiar with the metallic scent of blood when you’re on your period. He can tell when you start sweating more often, when your muscles tense up more than usual, or when you are slightly more emotional. He knows before you even do because he has to. 

You are miserable almost every day, really, but more often than not it happens around the time of your period. So, he pays close attention to the signs. When the painkillers stop working, or when you get more tired, or when you stop moving around as much. When you tell him you’re fine even though he can feel the muscles of your abdomen tensing under his touch when he hugs you. When he can tell you have been crying and he wasn’t there to help. He has to know because you need him. 

You’re not entirely dependent on him, of course; you have lived on your own before and while it was hell, you pushed through somehow. With him, you don’t have to be alone on the days you can’t get out of bed because the pain keeps you locked in a fetal position, or on the days you have to cower on the bathroom floor until you’re too weak to move. Matt has reached a point of knowing you where his four working senses don’t play much of a role in telling what kind of a day you’re having; he just knows. 

Tonight, he senses it when he comes through the door after work, finally escaping the raging heat from the streets that made him feel like he was dying on the commute home. He instantly loosens his tie to get some air into his lungs, feeble fingers working desperately to free himself, but it doesn’t take a second longer for him to realize something is wrong. It is nothing but a mere hunch—some kind of aura that emits from somewhere in the apartment that makes the hairs on his arms stand up. He calls your name, frantically searching for your heartbeat. Through the rattling of the fridge as it tries to keep up with the rising temperatures inside, he makes out the rapid drumming of your heart against your ribcage. If you’re not dizzy yet, he thinks, you soon will be. 

Upon hearing you huff from the kitchen floor, Matt doesn’t hesitate tossing his bag mindlessly into the nearest corner, followed by his keys before he makes his way to find you. He’s overheated, itchy, and sweating through his clothes, but not anywhere near as desperate as he is to get to you. 

“Sweetheart?” he asks.

Hearing the sound of his voice, you realize that what felt like five minutes must have been hours spent on the cool kitchen floor. You can’t even remember how you got there. The hours have blended into minutes, the tiles digging into your sweat-coated skin. You’re curled up in a ball, wearing nothing but one of Matt’s loosest shirts. You couldn’t stand the feeling of a waistband around your stomach, so you took your pants off, changing into the oldest pair of cotton underwear you could find. It’s all soaked by now, and part of you wonders if you did finally get your period or if your pores just decided to drench you for the fun of it. 

Everything hurts. Your muscles are tense, yet at the same time they are so incredibly weak, you don’t react when the front door opens. He’s worried, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. It is as though the pain has made you entirely apathetic, coiling in your lower stomach and spreading into your legs like a parasite. All you can do is succumb to it. 

Matt’s feet come into view. The purple cast of the billboard outside falls upon him, painting the shadow of a halo above his head. It’s ironic, really; the man you love as your knight in shining armor, a Catholic looking like an angel in artificial neon light. 

His gentle voice reaches for you, “What’re you doing on the floor?”

He doesn’t ask if you’re okay because he knows it is futile, but even that question you don’t know how to answer. What are you doing on the dirty kitchen floor?

You clear your throat, trying to sound nonchalant when you answer, “It’s too hot up there.”

He crouches down. “Just too hot?”

You sigh. “No.”

It was a good day until it wasn’t, and then you were in pain again and all the days you spent feeling a little more like yourself are suddenly gone with the wind. The tears wrap a noose around your neck for the second time today, your eyes burning with faint resistance. Every time you think it gets better, it gets worse again. And every time you try to pretend that maybe things are looking up for you and it isn’t as endless of a pit as you thought, the exact opposite proves itself. You’re tired; you’re in pain and you’re tired and you feel so silly for letting it dim the light Natt pointed out a few days ago that he had so deeply missed, but there is only so much hope you can have.  

This isn’t the first time he has found you like this, but it truly never gets easier. Hearing the strain in your voice, the quiver in your entire being as you try to catch your breath, telling yourself not to fucking cry. It never gets easier to know how much you beat yourself up for something that isn’t your fault. Because the doctors that were supposed to listen failed you, and now the road to relief is paved with bricks you can barely climb over. You are on your way now, finally, but the future is still not certain. In the end though, what kills him the most is that he can’t help you. 

Matt reaches out, his hand shaking as he aimlessly brushes his fingers over your forehead. “Cramps?” he says.

You nod weakly. 

“Since when?”

“I don’t know,” you confess, and that is when the glass overflows. 

With a click of his tongue, he wipes the first of your tears away. His brown eyes bore into your soul, completely bare in front of him. Your body is like a complex crafted melody only he knows how to decipher.  

The tears quickly form a barrier between you and the tiles. Matt tilts his head. The faintest hint of copper clings to your skin. “Did you get your period?” he asks. 

You shake your head. “Just… some spotting.”

“Explains the blood.”

He is way too nonchalant about it, you think. The way he accepts your version of normal even though you feel like a failure trapped in a body that refuses to work like it is supposed to.

“How’d you get here?” he asks again, his voice so soft you want nothing more than to hide your face from him and cry some more. 

He refuses to let you go, gripping your chin to the point it almost hurts. “I was trying to do the dishes and then–” a broken sob gets stuck in your throat. “It hurts and it’s hot, and I can’t breathe.”

He gently cradles your face in his hands. “I know,” he says like he can read your mind. And maybe he can.

Your chest heaves with every breath you take. “I couldn’t stand anymore, so I laid down. On the floor,” you tell him. “I just… I didn’t get anything done today.”

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“It does. I–”

He cuts you off, “No, sweetie, it doesn’t. I can wash the dishes, but I can’t replace you.”

His dedication hurts. You used to be called sensitive and not worth the drama, but with him, you count, and that hurts because you are barely hanging on by a fragile thread. You don’t know how to ever give back to him what he has given you. The countless nights you patched him up after he got his ass handed to him do not seem to matter much compared to what he does for you. 

He studies your erratic heartbeat for a moment. “You want a heating pad?” he offers. 

You physically cringe at the thought of a hot water bottle when the entire city could function as one, and you are quick to deny, “Too hot.”

Matt chuckles. “Yeah, I figured.” He brushes a damp strand of hair away from your face. “Have you taken anything yet? Advil? Naproxen?”

You growl. “You know none of the pills they gave me fucking work!” 

He doesn’t seem deterred by your tone. All he does is smile softly at you, fingers tracing invisible patterns on your skin.

“I know,” he says. “I’m just trying to help.”

“Well, nothing’s helping,” you retort. 

��That why you’re lying on the floor?” 

Another tear rolls down your cheek and past your cracked lips. “I told you. Nothing helps.”

Snapping at him for only trying to care may be petty of you, but there is nothing you loathe more than feeling so utterly helpless. 

Matt moves closer, your words pearling off of him like he is made of stone. He doesn’t even flinch. 

“Okay,” he murmurs. “Can I try something else?”

The voice in your head is screaming, what else is there to do? You are tired of trying everything and nothing ever working. Two more weeks until you will meet with a new doctor, but those two weeks might actually kill you. That’s what it feels like, anyway. 

He sighs, “C’mere.” Without another word from you, Matt slides his arms under your sticky frame and lifts you off the ground. His skin offers a stark contrast from the cold kitchen tiles, but he’s clean, and he smells like home. Not this place, not this city, but him. 

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“Bathroom,” is all he tells you. 

Your brain is too slow to even dare protest. He carries you to the bathroom, setting you down on unsteady legs. 

“May I?” he asks. You nod, but even as he pulls his shirt over your head, he doesn’t once let go of you. 

You close your eyes. The pain in your abdomen is dull yet searing. You try to focus on anything else, but just when you think it’s getting better, it breaks through again, burning through you like a wildfire on the blade of a hot knife. And that makes you sad. It makes you so sad and angry you don’t know what to do with yourself. You want to scream and cry and tear the apartment apart, but you’re exhausted and tired and you know that if this pain keeps rippling through you, you might fall apart. 

You hate when he sees you like this. When you’re falling apart and there’s nothing either of you can do, and you blame yourself even though there is nothing to blame yourself for. Matt knows that. You sometimes wonder if you are a burden to him and he just won’t tell you because he doesn’t know when to stop. To stop caring, to stop helping, to stop trying to change everything. But then again, he has always told you that loving you isn’t a burden. If you get lost in the what ifs, you might actually fall apart.    

“I’m gonna start a cool bath,” Matt murmurs next to you, snapping you out of your thoughts with his gentle baritone of a voice. “Just stay here.” 

You nod weakly, too exhausted to argue. The thought of immersing yourself in cool water, even for a few minutes, seems like a small mercy. 

Water starts to run in the distance. His belt hits the floor, followed by the fabric clinging to his skin. You’re afraid you might get dizzy if you open your eyes. Dizzy because of the pain. Dizzy because of him. 

The cabinet behind you rattles when he reaches for it. “Claire gave them to me, but you took these before,” he says, skillfully working on the cap of an orange capsule. “They’re a bit stronger than Advil.”

You don’t protest, you simply let him place one of the pills in the palm of your hand. He is right behind you with his hand on your waist when you take them, swallowing with a handful of water. There’s nothing sexual in the way he touches you, just a tenderness born from years of knowing each other’s bodies inside and out. 

Maybe that is why you could never be a burden to him; he has felt like one for most of his life, and the last thing he wants is for his love to feel the same way. And he needs you to remind him that he is everything to you, too, his hands never wavering when they find your skin. You’re his lifeline as much as he is yours.

The cold water hits the inside of the bathtub, pattering down like raindrops on a windowpane. Matt gently tugs you closer to him and guides you toward the tub. At first, when he lifts you in, the cool water is a shock to your overheated skin, but it doesn’t take long for you to welcome the change in temperature. 

He eases you between his legs once he is sat, your back against his chest, wrapping his arms around you. His hands come to rest on your lower stomach, close enough to allow you to pull your legs up to your chest. It’s the only position that doesn’t hurt. 

You remember nights spent crammed in the same position, not because of you but because of his nightmares. The roles were reversed then. When it’s too hot outside, he needs the world on fire to burn a little less bright. Today, you finally realize what he must feel like on days like these. 

“How’s that?” he asks, his breath warm against your ear.

You nod. “Better,” you whisper. Better isn’t perfect, but the pain is just dull now, and the gentle movement of his fingers against your sore muscles lulls you into a state where you can breathe. It’s not perfect, but it is as good as it gets. 

Your head falls back against his collarbone. “Thank you,” your voice is barely above a whisper when you tell him.

He shushes you, lips moving to your temple. The gesture is supposed to say, don’t thank me. But it feels wrong not to. 

You lift your head enough to look at him, finally, your eyes fluttering open to look back into his hazel orbs. “Matt…” 

“Yeah?” he breathes. 

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” you confess. It’s a truth you’ve grappled with, the stark realization that his presence has become indispensable. It is a burden, to be loved so fiercely, as much as it is an addiction. Because a life without him seems like a sheer impossibility you don’t ever want to face again. 

Matt holds his lips against your skin, smiling. “Good thing you never have to find out, hm?”

You chuckle weakly. “You sure about that?”

“Mhm.”

“What if you get sick of me?”

“Then I’ll be sick of you for a few hours,” he says, “and you’ll be sick of me ‘til we’re not.”

Your eyes roam his face for any indication that he might not be telling the truth. “That easy?” you ask. 

He nods, fingers coming up to find your lips. He touches them for a moment, exploring the soft skin there. Instead of kissing you though, he halts.

“What?” You frown. 

Matt shakes his head. “Nothing. Just… You’re gonna be okay,” his voice is barely above a whisper. “I’ll make sure of that.”

A whimper breaks from your chest. He believes it wholeheartedly, but it is incredibly hard to hear it out loud because you don’t believe it. You press your lips together, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill over again. “I just wish it didn’t have to be this way,” you whisper. “I wish I could be… normal.”

Again, he nods, fingers brushing over your cheek to catch a stray tear. “You are normal,” he insists softly. “Your pain doesn’t make you any less. And ‘cause I know how strong you are, I know you’re gonna be okay.”

“Even if I’ll be ill for the rest of my life? Even if I–”

“Of course,” he stops you. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I promise. Not ‘even if’ but regardless of whether it’s endometriosis or… or something else. Your pain is a part of you, but it’s not all of you. I love all of you.”

There is no stopping the avalanche of tears that is forced down the hill by his words. They hit you harder than an arrow to the heart. 

You crack under the weight of your emotions. “I love you,” you whisper. Those three words mean the world, but they feel inadequate to describe what you feel. 

“I know,” says Matt. “I love you too.”

The once open wounds of the blood you shed just to find him are nothing but scars now—scars you can learn how to live with once you accept that there is nothing wrong with you. Being a human being with an illness, both mentally and physically, doesn’t make you any less worthy of love. It doesn’t make you any less worthy of life. 

With Matt by your side, you are no longer alone in this. You have him, all of him, and that makes all the difference. 

Matt Murdock (Angst) Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @thychuvaluswife @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @thatonegamefish @amberritonicole @pigeonmama @bohemianrhapsody86 @a-gir1-has-n0-name @winkev1 @callsign-ember @chittaphonstar @buckyyyismahhlife @trublu2u @xnatyx @zomtart @abucketofweird

Also tagging: @moncherriis

[cutielando]

Hello love, how is everything going?🫂

I'm the one from the Jay in the truck fic, which was amazing, you made someone very happy today (someone is me)😚🩷

If you have time you could write one where Jay dates the reader but he is a few years younger than him, but he's so proud to have met a girl like her, maybe someone on the team makes playful comments about it because he is tough in part but it is as if he was always so soft with her that they come to not know him. maybe they even see a couple of hickeys on him but he looks proud because he is LITERALLY so in love that he kisses the ground where she steps and he loves that they know he has a girl, a little pretentious about it🤭

Maybe also after a difficult case he looks for her because she is his safe space.🫶🏼🥹

This is a bit messy but I'm not good at putting ideas together, I apologize, also english is not my first language in case this is something difficult to understand.🥹🫶🏼

Also sorry that there are so many haha you can take them if you want or just let them pass if you don't feel comfortable, sending you love!💌

comfort person | j.h.

my masterlist

Jay couldn't believe his luck, in all honesty.

Ever since he could remember, his luck when it came to love and personal relationships was close to being non-existent. His relationship history was excellent proof of that.

But everything seemed to change for the better when he met you.

You had met in a bar, out of all places. Hit it off right away, chatted over a drink, promised to stay in touch.

And oh boy, had you stayed in touch.

You were wary of hanging out with Jay at first, mainly because of the dangers of his job (that he sometimes reminded you of) and because of the age difference.

5 years was not that much, if you were being realistic, but it was still something. You were afraid that you wouldn’t be the woman he was looking for, maybe his expectations in life didn’t align with yours.

Thankfully, you were very wrong about that.

And so, you found yourself together, 1 year later, happier and more in love than ever. Much to the joy of his team, who made it their mission to tease the fuck out of Jay every single day at the precinct.

Especially when they would notice certain marks on his neck after a wild night in bed.

Such an instance was right after the team had finished a very hard case involving a child kidnapping. When Jay got home, you could tell he was absolutely hammered and needed to unwind, so you did the thing you knew would help him out.

The next morning at the precinct, you went with him to say hi to the team, but you got teased instead.

“Woah, did an animal attack you last night?” Adam asked Jay as soon as he got a good look at his colleague.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows, while you were trying to hide your blush in his bicep.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, checking his arms for any kind of marks.

Adam smirked and pointed to his neck, which immediately made your boyfriend realize what he was talking about.

Even though you couldn’t see it because you were hiding your face into his arm, you could tell Jay was blushing furiously while being teased by his close friend.

“Don’t you dare say a word” Jay threatened Adam, who could only laugh at the situation between the two of you.

“I’m gonna go now” you murmured to Jay, quickly standing on your tiptoes to peck his cheek before basically running out of the precinct.

Jay could only blame Adam for your quick departure, much faster than what he had been hoping.

“She certainly keeps you active” Ruzek said once he came back from their break room with a cup of coffee.

“Shut up, Ruz. You’re just jealous you’re not getting any” Jay commented, making Adam act offended.

"I'm just saying, she's sure keeping you busy and fit" Adam continued, giving Jay a sly smile.

"She makes me happy" Jay confessed, smiling to himself when he thought about you and your relationship.

The conversation died with that, a new case putting a pause on Jay's thoughts about you for the time being.

Jay hadn't expected the case to be as rough as it was, and he felt awful by the time he got home to you. He was tired, his limbs were sore and his heart ached. The only thing he wanted in that moment was the sole comfort of your presence, your comforting hugs and just quality time spent away from his job.

When you heard the keys in the lock, you excitedly ran to the front door to welcome him, but your smile was instantly wiped off your face when you saw just how broken and tired he was.

"Rough day?" you asked as you cautiously watched him taking off his shoes and hanging his coat on the hanger.

"Yeah, got a tough care after you came home" he sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before going into the bedroom, placing his gun and badge into his safe before coming back out and joining you on the couch.

He melted into the soft couch, his hand finding yours instantly. You felt for him, not even wanting to imagine how tough his job must get on the hard days, like this one.

You moved Jay's head off the back of the couch and maneuvered him until he was resting his head into your lap, your fingers softly running through his soft hair.

"You want to talk about it?" you asked softly, careful not to disturb the serene atmosphere that had settled between the two of you.

His eyes opened and looked at you, dozens of emotions swimming behind his irises. The only thoughts that occupied his head were how lucky he was to have you, how cared for he was and how much he loved you. He cherished you more than you could ever know, especially in moments like this one, when he is reminded of just how grateful he should be for the life he has.

"I love you" he whispered softly, making you smile at him and lean down to peck his lips, your free hand caressing the side of his face softly.

"I love you more" you whispered back, licking your lips.

And so, the entire evening was spent exactly like that, whispering love confessions to each other like they were a secret to the entire world.

But you loved every second of it.

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

much appreciated!!

REQUEST HERE

[bisexualiteaa]

would it be alright if you were to write a fluff(maybe smut?) hancock x reader who has adhd who's just overwhelmed with quests and doesn't know which one to do first? Lol please and thank you:)

Of the People, For the People

John Hancock x ADHD!GN Reader (FLUFF!!)

CW: reader struggles with their ADHD, John thinks it’s cute, cursing, guilt, restlessness, slight OOC Hancock, slight suggestive themes towards the end, fluff, possible grammatical/spelling errors, briefly proof read

AN: as someone with ADHD this ask actually really hit home. It was half the reason why I could never start games like Fallout and Skyrim in the first place was because there are so many things you can do, the idea alone was overwhelming to me because I knew it’s start and never finish just about everything pushed my way. Then the TV series came o it and all that changed upon the simple acquirement of a hyperfixation on the ghoul and thus my love for fallout was born! 😂 I am still rather new to Fallout games, lore and such so please be gentle if I have gotten anything wrong, I’m still doing my best at learning everything I can to write these well and properly! But I hope I did your ask some justice with this Anon! Hope you all enjoy some more love for our Mayor Hancock. 🥰

Tag-list: @expirednukacola

“Ugh, there’s just too much to doooo” you whined as you plopped down onto his bed in the state house, exhausted and sore all over from setting up not one, not two, but three whole settlements in one day. Of course it wouldn’t be a day out in the commonwealth if you hadn’t run into monstrosities along the way or people along the way to other settlements who needed other things from you. For instance, there was someone who needed saved from thinking they were a synth and returned to their parents, other people who needed help getting their settlements started, people who needed you to kill some super mutants, people who needed you to eliminate some feral ghouls some place else, and after that you couldn’t even remember if you tried. Thank goodness for your Pip-Boy keeping track of these things or else you feared you’d never remember it all. There was just so much that others, especially Preston, were asking of you to do out here that it was beginning to become just a bit too overwhelming to take on all at once. You loved that you could be help for people, so unfortunately you never really paid your own wellbeing any mind until now that it was at such a detriment you could hardly even think straight, much less accurately hit a target or properly even speak to someone without sounding like intelligence was your dump stat. You wanted ever so badly to be that light for people who had seemed to lose hope because it’s what you would want others to do for you if you were in need. You lived and breathed by that golden rule taught to you so long ago. Come to think of it, the only person who you’d done everything for last that you could remember was Hancock, which was actually how you two ended up together.

“Being commander of the Minutemen will do that to ya, sunshine” Hancock teased, leaning against the door frame as he looked at you, tiredly splayed out on his bed in amusement, finding it funny that the commander of such a large militia could be so…well, you. Anyone else would likely be overwhelmed with power to the point of paranoia, or the opposite and let it go to their head and break them of the person they once were, but you were still yourself through everything. He admired the way you wanted to help people, the way you helped the poor and needy in the ways he wished the rich would do, but he could tell it was taking a clear toll on your wellbeing in doing so. He genuinely couldn’t remember the last time you told someone no, or that you flat out just couldn’t help them because he could see that look in your eyes when someone asked you for help. He saw the sympathy, the pain, saw the way you felt so bad knowing that if you didn’t, they likely wouldn’t make it out in the harsh world of the commonwealth. His heart ached for you in that sense, because he remembers a time when he wanted to help everyone in his town that he could, any way he could, hell it was the whole reason he became the mayor of Goodneighbor in the first place. But just like you, he needed someone to make him realize that you can’t do everything, some things just have to play out and fix themselves on their own. “But I think you need to take a break from it for a day or two, give yourself a chance to recoup. You’re working’ yourself to death and I’m startin’ to get worried” he added, walking into the room to join you and he watched you sit up, looking completely defeated and worried at the idea of not helping others or running things for just a day, let alone two but also at the fact that now he was concerned for you. “But they need me, John. If I don’t help them…what would become of them? What kind of leader would I be to just leave them in shambles? I can’t live with the idea of lives lost because of me…” you said with a guilty tone, clearly torn between the idea of helping yourself or helping others, and the sweet innocence of your good natured personality made him smile softly as he closed the door behind him and sat down next to you on his bed.

“Even heros need a vacation, love. Helping people who won’t make it is wonderful, it’s one of the many things I love about you. But people can just as easily be hurt when they’re guided in the wrong direction because the person directing them isn’t taking care of themselves the way they need to. A good leader needs strength sure, but that strength depletes and needs replenished every now and again, and that’s okay” he said, grabbing your hand in his, squeezing it in the hopes to offer you some level of comfort to assure you his words meant no harm, he simply just wanted you to look out for yourself as much as you looked out for others around you. He knew it got through to you when he heard you exhale an audible deep breath you’d been holding in for so long. “I guess, I just…I don’t know. It feels extra difficult for me because I can never stay focused on just one thing. I get started on one project, then someone comes along and I get so side tracked trying to help them that I forget all about where I started! I probably have twenty of these damn missions at least half started before I dropped them for something else entirely. It’s so frustrating and overwhelming because then they all start to pile up, and then I don’t know where to start!” you explained, making him laugh. Who would have ever guessed his big, fearless commander of the Minutemen, partner was easily sidetracked by their ADHD. But he wouldn’t want you any other way. “Yet you completed everything I asked of you with no issue” he pointed out with a smug grin, making you blush at the realization that he noticed that. “Well…yeah. I did it because I liked you and wanted to get closer to you. I was fixated on it because I wanted it to better my chances of being with you, so to me it wasn’t work. It was just doing something that you, someone I care for, asked me to do, so I did it” you admitted bashfully, making him smile at the wholesome reason you gave him. “That’s so fucking cute” Hancock replied as he put his arm around you, pulling you into his side, making you blush even more before covering your face with your hands. “It’s cute until you realize I killed someone for you” you quipped with a grin once you’d moved your hands away to look at him, making him chuckle at your reply. “Made it even” he joked, referring to when Finn tried to haggle you when you first showed up to Goodneighbor. “Fair enough” you responded as you chuckled, but he could still tell that you hadn’t fully come around to the idea yet, something still had its hold on you but at least you started to open up to the idea.

“C’mon, let’s just take the next couple of days to relax. The settlements will be fine, they run pretty well on their own, I’m sure they can survive a day or two without you. Maybe Nick or Codsworth can run ship while you take the time to yourself” he said, making you lean your head against his shoulder as you contemplated it. “Poor Codsworth, I wouldn’t do that to him. He tended to my house for two hundred years despite the absolute state of decay it was in from the explosions, thinking the family would come back any day and it drove him nearly mad. I could only imagine what running settlements would do to him” you said, making him chuckle. “Okay then how ‘bout Nick? He’s traveled with you long enough, he’s a smart guy, I’m sure he could handle it. I’m sure he’d more than understand that you need some time to yourself to get back that good ol’ fighting spirit” he added. “You think so?” You asked skeptically, making him sling his arm around your waist to hold you close and help ease your nerves the best he could. It was times like these that you wished you had the confidence and aloof attitude Hancock had about just about everything. “I know so. Think about it, you set them up, taught them what they know, they already manage pretty well on their own, they got this! Just lay back and relax for a change!” he said, easing your nerves just a little bit more at the idea. For someone who never wanted a leader to be too comfortable, he really wanted you to be, it was strange yet heart warming to see how much he cared about you and wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself. So you finally gave in, maybe a couple of days to relax and do what you wanted to do didn’t sound bad after all. Maybe you could enjoy a couple of drinks one night, or hell, maybe enjoy just sleeping in a bed two nights in a row for a change, give your body a rest from sleeping on the cold hard ground in a sleeping bag. And not have to worry about all the things floating around in your mind that need done. That sounded like heaven to you once you convinced yourself with Hancock’s help that it could really be useful. “Okay, but if I do, I can’t just lay in bed all day. I literally can’t, I’ll go crazy” you said, making him laugh, knowing the way you can’t sit still for more than a few minutes at a time just on the regular while you’re on the go. “We don’t have to, these couple of days are for what you wanna do sunshine. Though I wouldn’t mind it of course if we spent all of it in bed, but staying in bed all day doesn’t necessarily mean *just* sleeping, ya know” he said, his voice slipping into that characteristic deep, gravelly suggestive tone with a mischievous grin painting his thin, irradiated lips as he pulled you into his side, making you laugh. “John!” You said, seemingly flabbergasted at his reply, but truthfully you hadn’t expected anything less from him. “Oh you know I love it when you yell my name, keep doin’ it sunshine” he said flirtatiously with that ever recognizable smirk painted across his face as he crawled on top of you on the bed, littering your face and neck with kisses through a shared fit of laughter. Maybe a little break wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[jazzysnazzys]

💋Transfer Proof💋

Joel x Fem Reader (1.4k WC) (18+ MDNI!!)

Summary: You needed a way to test out a new lipstick that claimed to be transfer proof. You knew just how you were going to.

Warnings: Smut (obvi), PWP, deepthroating, cum eating, submissive Joel, slight begging?

AN: Hello my bees! I’m obviously back again with late night Joel brainrot because who else consumes my brain this late. 😮‍💨 This is very loosely proofread, sorry. Almost scrapped this idea before a rush of inspiration finally arrived 😅 I really hope you enjoy! As I’m still new to writing and posting fics on here, I’d appreciate any feedback!! I love you all sooooo much! Thanks for reading! 😊

SMUT UNDER THE CUT! MDNI!!

For a while, you had been needing some new makeup. Your stash at home was running low. Even worse, you had a party to go to next week with Joel and there was no way you could salvage anything from your dwindling supply. So that morning you kissed Joel goodbye and headed off to a cosmetics store.

You sighed as you pulled into the parking lot, stepping out of your car and into the makeup store. You were familiar to the place, the usual top 100 billboard hits playing, the bright lights pointing in every which direction, and the deals that were plastered on every wall.

You looked around for a while, grabbing your usual items. Before you checked out, you saw a brand you enjoyed release a new line of lipsticks.

‘Matte and Transfer proof’ it read. You narrowed your eyes at the product. Every time a lipstick claimed to be transfer proof you were met with the disappointment of it fading throughout the day. You shrugged, knowing you’d regret not getting it later if it was actually transfer proof.

You found a shade that you thought beautifully complemented your undertone and smiled. You then placed your items to be checked out and had a silent victory when the cashier offered you a discount.

Walking to your car, you thought about ways to test the lipstick.

You could always just kiss the back of your hand after it dried, but you’d done that before and it wasn’t always the most accurate testing.

Maybe you could go out to eat with Joel and see how the lipstick held up then? No, you didn’t want to be seen with smudged makeup in public.

You huffed and got into your car, deciding you’d figure it out at home.

Once you got home, you engulfed Joel into a hug.

“How’d it go, darlin?” He rubbed your back in a soothing way, looking at you with admiration.

“Fine, got my usual. How’ve you been here?” You caressed his cheek, scratching his scruffy beard.

“Missin’ you.” He kissed you softly, pulling your waist closer to his body and letting out a content hum.

You snickered before pushing him away, rolling your eyes playfully and walking into the bathroom to place your new items in your makeup bag.

You zipped open your bag and unwrapped your usual items, throwing out the empty ones. Your hand got to the bottom of the shopping bag and pulled out the lipstick you had decided get at the last second.

You eyed it for a moment before taking off the plastic covering around the product. You took the cap off of the lipstick and admired the beautiful color you had picked.

You swiped the product on your bottom lip before smushing your lips together and rubbing the product in. With a pop, you admired how the shade sat on your lips with a soft smile.

You added a touch of extra makeup on your face in order not to look a little silly with just lipstick on.

Tilting your head from side to side, you checked yourself out, quickly getting used to the color. The dress that you’d picked out would pair with this lipstick like a dream.

After a while of looking into the mirror, you noticed it had dried down.

‘Matte and Transfer Proof’ You remembered.

“Sweetheart?” Joel’s raspy voice could be heard along with the knocking at your door.

“Come here, sweetheart. Our show is on.” He knocked once more before walking back to the living room, flopping down on the couch.

That’s when the idea hit you.

You knew exactly how you were going to test this lipstick out.

A couple moments later, you walked out of your room, the makeup still adorning your features. Joel was content to see you walking towards him. He quirked a curious brow at you before speaking.

“What’s got you all dolled up, baby?” He smiled, patting the space next to him. You rolled your eyes playfully, not responding to him. Joel’s legs were spread apart, his arms resting on the couch. He looked so damn sexy.

You then got down on your knees between his legs and began to unbuck—

“W-Woah! The hell you doin’?” Joel scrambled to grab your hands with a cherry red blush painted on his face.

“Wanna test somethin’ out.” You stated and shrugged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You swatted his hands away and continued to unbuckle his belt, unzipping his jeans like you had done a thousand times before.

Joel was an utter mess underneath you, sputtering and stuttering as you reached his boxers.

Did Joel know what the hell was going on?

No.

Was he going to stop you?

Fuck no.

You pulled down his boxers just enough so his already hard cock could spring out. You then spat on the twitching dick, lubing it up.

You gave him a couple of quick strokes before licking a long stripe from his trimmed base to his leaking tip. He groaned as you kitten licked his tip a couple times. Finally, you wrapped your lips around his length.

You bobbed your head up and down him, a mixture of pre-cum and spit collecting around your mouth. You made sure the filthy mix was spread evenly around your mouth as you continued to take him down your throat.

Joel was panting and groaning as you continued sucking him off. Joel had always been the dominant one during your intimate moments, ordering you to do certain things, move certain ways, say certain things. It turned him on to see you so helpless underneath him, babbling incoherent things as he fucked you dumb.

But as you continued to suck him off, the pornographic sounds of your gagging, and how your nose touched the base of his cock, he realized that maybe he liked being under your control.

Fuck it.

He fucking loved it.

He let you take control as you slurped his dick perfectly. You wrapped your hand around his cock tightly and began to pump. Your mouth trailed down to his exposed balls that were filled with cum, waiting to be spurted out in thick ropes. Your mouth latched onto one of them, hollowing your cheeks as you had done with his cock. You sucked on it as Joel was turning into putty underneath you.

“Fuuuucck, baby. God, don’t stop. Please don’t stop—shit.” Joel threw his head back in pleasure, his hands gripping the leather couch.

“Baby, please. I need-I need you.”

Joel begged as he rose his head up to make eye contact with you. You simply shook your head, slipping him out of your mouth with a pop that made him whine.

“Nah. I’m testing something.” You repeated, taking him back into your mouth.

You bobbed your head up and down, gagging and gargling on him. You could hear his groans shift and his cock start to twitch feverishly in your mouth. These were the telltale signs that he was close, so you hollowed your cheeks, taking him in deeper.

“Just like that darlin’, please. I’m gonna cum—fuck yes.” Joel whimpered as your tongue swiveled around his tip every time your head bobbed up.

At last, he came, warm stripes of white bliss filling your mouth. You heard Joel let out a pathetic groan as he came, his breath faltering a bit. You licked your lips and swallowed, getting up from your spot between his legs. You pulled out your phone and pressed on the camera app, a reflection of yourself popping up on the screen. Your eyes widened and a smile showed on your face as you saw the gorgeous color you’d picked out still painting your lips. You grinned and sat down next to Joel, watching the remaining of your long forgotten show as if nothing had happened.

Joel was panting, his breath still irregular as his soft cock poked out of his jeans. He was in pure euphoria at the way you had just…used him. He let out a breathy laugh as he stuffed his length back into his jeans. Joel thought about a couple things.

One, he absolutely was going to have you take control more often.

Two, he had it bad for you. Worse than he thought.

Three, he was going to buy you every lipstick he saw from now on.

[thebestbrunettee]

cardan x jude pt. 3 !!

so in pt. 2 i mentioned how jude finds cardan breathtakingly beautiful and how she shows signs of liking cardan VERY early in the series. but a point to bring up is that this is part of the reason she has such visceral hatred towards him. i think jude really really likes cardan much earlier in the series than she lets on, and part of what fuels the hate she feels towards cardan could stem from the fact that she’s maybe even hurt his by actions. all jude wants is to prove her place in the world of faerie/the kingdom of elfhame. even though she is human, this land is what she calls home. unlike vivi, she doesn’t have enough of a connection to the human world and just doesn’t see it as where she belongs. so if she doesn’t belong in her own world and doesn’t belong in faerie, what does that leave her with? nothing. and cardan continuously reminds her of that fact. that she will never belong. my point is, that this constant reminder of her biggest insecurity from a boy she admires and is probably jealous of could really hurt her self esteem as well as make her hate him even more. so now she not only is dealing with cardan’s bullying, but she’s dealing with her own inner turmoil. she chooses to hate cardan because acknowledging her feelings for him isn’t an option for her.

then, when she accepts dain’s offer as a spy for his court of shadows, she gains a sense of belonging, a sliver of power. so now she has this newfound purpose for her life that will grant her the security she needs and an opportunity to prove her worthiness in the world of faerie. she has a chance to prove cardan wrong. on her first mission with the court of shadows, she visits hallow hall, the home of balekin and, more importantly, cardan. it’s there that she sees cardan get beaten. except she has a reaction you might not think. at first while cardan and balekin are sparring, she feels smug knowing that cardan is so easily bested. it’s only when she sees him being hit that her opinion changes. the difference between “balekin cracks his staff against the back of cardan’s legs, sending him to the ground. i am delighted. there’s a part of me that wishes i were the one wielding that staff.” and; “i should be glorying in seeing cardan like this. i should be glad his life sucks, maybe more than mine…” “…but watching i cannot help observing that beneath his defiance is fear. i know what it is to say the clever thing because you don’t want anyone knowing how scared you are. it doesn’t make me like him any better, but for the first time he seems real. not good, but real.”

in this jude sees part of who cardan really is. she finds something about him that she relates to. this is crucial to the development of their relationship because for the first time sees him as a real person, not just a stuck up faerie prince who needs to be humbled.

then on her next trip to hallow hall where she rescues the human servant sophie, she says this to one of the guards: “prince cardan says we are to attend him.” one of the guards turns to the other. “balekin won’t like that.” … “very well,” the first guard says. “go. but inform cardan that his brother demands he bring both of you back this time.” this alludes to how cardan would actually rescue the servants at hallow hall and taken beatings for them. so as much as claims to resent humans this is further proof that he feels the opposite. (as i’ve mentioned multiple times in other parts).

(i’m continuing on this in pt. 4 :) )

[flickering-nightfall]

So, your Infinity Train crossover got me to watch the show, and... woah. Woah. I would love to know if you had any more ideas, blurbs, thoughts, anything about that crossover, because now I can't get enough of imagining the viciously murderous cat and accidentally-fratricidal robot on the train.

I'm glad you liked Infinity Train too! (and thank you!) More on the crossover... I gotta admit I haven't thought of much other than the initial "haha what if" idea. Maybe I can speculate though:

Spoilers ahead!

There were many hilarious and thoughtful takes on how Pebbles could possibly end up on the train, in the notes of the initial post. I joked that it'd just tear a hole through his structure, but there are more (and less) sane options than that.

Since we only see human passengers on the train, a lot of people would probably mistake Pebbles and Arti as denizens. Simon and Grace would probably not take to them having numbers well. I feel like they'd most likely think it was a trick, but it could shake up their perspective too.

Man humans look kind of similar to ancients maybe. That doesn't mean much to Arti - and I think humans look dissimilar enough from scavs to be spared by her wrath. But to Pebbles...

Also, iterators haven't communicated with another civilization-era sapient species in a quite a while probably. Some interesting stuff can come out of that.

How many migraines do you think Pebbles gets from trying to figure out what the hell is up with denizens? Or the train itself? I feel like he'd have an aneurysm if he had to interact with Alan Dracula. If he goes home and tries to tell the others what happened without any proof, they'd think he'd had a rot-induced fever dream.

Numbers are dependent on how close a passenger is to solving their problem. Arti, having already killed the scav chieftain, according to Rain World has hit the point of no return. So her body is completely wrapped up in numbers. But like Amelia, with enough time and determination it might be possible. The main problem is... Arti has to want to fix her problem first. The setup for her to do that is there. She's with Pebbles, so she has less of a reason to go off on a rampage unless she's being threatened. The lack of scavs wouldn't stop her from resorting to violence at this point, but the pure strangeness and unfamiliarity of her surroundings should at least baffle her into a different mental state.

I think in order to get an exit, Arti needs to make peace with herself. She must acknowledge what she has become, and to truly believe that she needs to change. It has little to do with the death of her children at that point. She needs to escape the self-perpetuating circle of violence.

Pebbles' number is much smaller (but still huge) because he's entrenched in rage and isolation and frustration on a massive timescale, but we see him eventually come to a resolution in Rivulet's campaign. How would the train define his problem though? It could be his anger at Moon and Suns, blaming them for his current state (even if Suns is partially at fault). It could be his tendency to close himself off, his refusal to talk to others or accept help. It could be his denial, believing he can handle and fix everything by himself. It could be his overall arrogance or ego. There's a lot of options there. Ultimately I think whatever brings him to think similarly to how he does in Rivulet's campaign would do the trick.

The sad thing is that Pebbles would probably be better off staying on the train too. I'm not sure if he'd be affected by the rot there, but he'd at least he could (literally) get out of his own head. And he has no choice but to touch grass interact with new people and situations. But to deny his exit would be to deny responsibility for what he's done. If he's really gotten better, that means he knows he can't run away anymore.

If Pebbles went to the train without Arti there's a chance he'd get killed or ghom'd two days into the trip. We are assuming his puppet is capable of walking for this AU, but also I do not think he knows how to walk. Good luck pink guy!

On the flipside. Pebbles could... probably take over the train even more than Amelia ever did, especially as a (bio)mechanical being himself. The only thing that could limit him are taboos maybe. Any iterator could do this, really. Lots of potential paths with that one.

Something something, One-One and iterators both solving people's big problems with varying amounts of success, and both engineering weird organisms...

...does a RW character that gets ghom'd return to the great cycle? Their soul gets devoured, or their life essence, it's not clear. I guess which one could determine what happens. But also they are in another universe where there is probably no cycle. Are ghoms a triple affirmative? Is crossdimensional travel? The latter wouldn't fit the "portable and generally applicable" part but still. This is a whole rabbit hole and a half, isn't it!

The train is dangerous and all, but that just makes Rain World characters a hilarious fit for it. Like this is just their daily life. Honestly I think their home world is more dangerous than the train, just in less wacky ways.

Lastly: I haven't even touched upon what introducing other characters could do for this narrative, or how they would react. So many possibilities!

If anyone wants to do more with this, please feel free!

[arielstruggles]

Banished Angel

the dawn of regret chp.2

pairing: joel miller x fem reader

summary: you decide to do as he asks and act like nothing has happened. It only works till a certain point.

w.c: 4.2k

warnings: slight angst, mentions of death and sexual harassment, age gap, no smut, a little bit emotions and suff, some fluff, some cheesiness, idk i'll add if i can find

a/n: I could not proof read it since it's 5 in the morning when i finish this so sorry in advance. I do have two different ideas out how their relationship evolve but i can't decide honestly. Also didn't add any smut because i wanted to deepen their emotional connection anyway hope you enjoy! chapter one here chapter three

(p.s. Feedbacks are appreciated.)

"Just because we fucked does not mean you are something to me. You are clearly desperate for attention. You want someone to love you. But that ain’t me. You’re nobody." When you close the door behind you, his voice echoes inside of your head. For a split second, with the heat of the moment you were naïve enough to think that he also had feelings for you. Though you stopped yourself from crying in front of him you can’t stop this time, when you are all by yourself in your living room. Tears come one by one and you are unable to interrupt them. You pull your knees to yourself and wrap your arms around them and a loud sob leaves your lips. “you’re nobody” it hurts. The loneliness that mustered inside you for years surfaces. You have nobody to lean on since both of your parents got infected and left you in this messed up world all by yourself. His words hit somewhere so close to home that you desperately tried to hurt him back. You are all alone, you literally need someone to love you as he said. He saw right through you; you have never felt so exposed. That’s why now you feel like somebody is ripping your heart out. Maybe it was an hour of intimacy but it felt like more than that. It was the first time in years somebody hold you like he did. You were trying to survive when Maria and Tommy found you in a fucking cave all by yourself, you could have died and nobody would even know you existed. You were so close to starving; they take you with them. You can’t stop crying, your body shakes with each sob. Years of agony finally let’s itself loose with this morning’s disappointment. Your eyelids get heavier with each tear drop. When you wake up from your nap, your head hurts. The sharp, throbbing pain does not help your already fucked up emotional state. Your pocket watch shows that it’s 7pm which means it has been six long hours since that incident. Thoughts flood to your head once again. You start to question yourself. Why he snapped so suddenly? Did I so something wrong?  Maybe you did something to deserve all his words. When he was touching you, kissing you hungrily it felt like your souls are bonding, apparently this was not the case for him. Your touch starved body greeted him so eagerly when he kissed you or when you were laying on his chest. You have never been a realist person, even in the darkest times you found something bright or else you could not have survived all alone for years. So naturally, you expected same thing from Joel, you expected a couple of nice words from him. A cold chuckle leaves your lips and melts into air when you realize how you needed someone to take care of you. You wanted him to say I love you. But you don’t even know whether you are in love with him or not. Maybe expecting so much was your fault but being so mean was definitely his.

Different thoughts about Joel dwell on your mind while you prepare yourself something to eat. A part of you still waits for him to knock on your door and apologize. But he does not. You eat your food in silence and find different things to occupy your mind to not to think of where he touched you. You definitely do not think about how you melted in his arms. You could swear that his smell is still on you, you were that close. But now you are far from each other. Maybe I am looking at things from a very sentimental perspective, you mutter. Still desperate to find a tiniest bit of reason to forgive him. A little bit of affection is all you crave. But then you remember his poisonous words. It is obvious that he will not do anything so you decide to act like nothing has happened. Just like he has said. “You forget what happened, I’ll do the same.”  Unless he comes by an apologize properly you will act like nothing has happened. You will say hello and goodbye but that will be it. Just like before.

He is not as careless as you think though. Guilt accumulates in his chest with each passing second. He swallows a big sip from his whiskey watching the wall right across him. He remembers every little detail. How you get excited when he touched your thigh, how flushed your face when you watch yourself on the mirror. When he saw how excited you are, he could almost feel your racing heartbeats. A crooked smile creeps up on his lips for a second but he immediately remembers how things turned out because of him and his face get clouded with shame and guilt once again. But it was for the best, he thinks.  He was old enough to be your dad. He could never do such thing. He would feel like a predator. Even though you are a fully grown adult you were thirty years younger than him. In his eyes, this was unacceptable. No, he would rather you to hate him rather than feeling like he’s taking advantage of you. But this does not stop him from thinking the sweet moment you had earlier. “You deserve to die alone! If your daughter knew all this, she would’ve hated you.” he questions whether Sarah would have hated him or not. Would she hate him because he fucked a girl who is younger than her daughter, or would she hate her because of how he treated her. The questions stay unanswered. At the back of his mind, he knows he deserves to die alone. He killed so many people, he told so many lies. He was the far cry from a good man. As much as he tries to redeem himself, he still has nightmares of random strangers begging for his mercy. But he can’t change the past. And he most definitely can’t put his bloody hands on you, not again

Even though you decided to act like nothing has happened you are not sure if you can manage to do that so you try your hardest to avoid him. You don’t leave your house for three days. You will inevitably see him on your next patrol but until then you don’t want to see him however you crave his touch, you can’t stop yourself from wanting to hug him tightly, burrow your face in his neck. On the third day of your self-isolation you leave your house to get some alcohol in your system. The more you isolate yourself the more you think about him so you think it’d helpful to drink something, to numb your senses a little bit. When you stepped inside Tipsy Bison you are grateful that he is not there. You get yourself a drink and sit on a stool, sipping your drink when you see Tommy approaches you. You are not sure if Joel told him anything or not but you decide to shut your mouth anyway. “couldn’t see you since your patrol, you okay?” he asks “everything is fine, I was just needed some alone time.” you lie. He nods and leaves you alone. You’re not so sure if he believes you. After a couple of drinks you head to your empty home, cold atmosphere embraces you when you step inside. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a broad figure in front of your door while you sit on the chair by the window. You peer up at him behind curtains. You are not that drunk, you’re just tipsy so you can’t be imagining him, can you? Are you that desperate for him? You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath and wait for him to knock. Then he decides not to and leaves your door without even saying anything. Your blood boils in your veins. “Coward.” You scream but he can’t hear you. “Coward” but his action fuels you. He could have knocked on your door and apologize, for god’s skae he came to your door. But he didn’t even have the guts to knock. You know better than ever know. You are done with his stupidity.

When your patrol day comes you get ready and wait for Joel outside your door. You are nor nervous, not after he comes to your door then leaves without even facing with you. When he approaches you, Your calm state startles you. Heart break and disappointment buried deep inside your soul. You are certain, you will act like nothing has happened since you are a nobody. “hello.” You say, your voice is not as cold as you intended it to be. He nods in return. No talking, just a small gesture. “We will go this way.” He gestures with his hand. “okay.” The atmosphere is tense, you wait for Joel to say something mean to break your heart even more but he does not. It’s still dark outside. And quiet. You can hear your footsteps. There is a stupid part of you, still dying for his attention. But for the first time in your life your senses overpowers and you don’t say anything. You see freshly bloomed flowers and cheer up for a brief moment.  “Oh my god! Didn’t know there are still flowers blooming!” you chirp. Joel smiles at your reaction but you don’t see it. “It is rare, but there are indeed flowers blooming some places.” He comments with his usual distant tone. you don’t expect a comment from him at all and he does not know why he felt the urge to reply. You pick up a flower and put it inside your notebook. You walk and walk. Then you reach to the radio tower which is this week’s final destination for you. You climb the stairs and get inside. You listen carefully to hear if there are any clickers around, it is quiet then you rest your back to wall and sit on the floor. For now, at least. After a while Joel returns and joins you. Silence lingers on in the room. It is unnerving. You are dying to talk but unless he talks you won’t. You steal glances from him. His greying hair looks extra soft and curly today. He seems like he didn’t shave for a long time. After a while you close your eyes to rest them, you know you are not allowed to sleep during your patrols, so you are just resting. But then you fell asleep. This situation maddens Joel, he finds it irresponsible. He calls your name a couple of times but you are not a light sleeper. He lets you sleep. Your eyelashes trembling every once in a while, and you murmur nonsense in your sleep, but you seem so comfortable even if you sleep in a sitting position. As if he does not feel guilty, your sleeping figure makes it worse. He feels like a disgusting human being. He tries to find something to make a makeshift blanket but he can’t. And not to give you a further hope he does not cover you with his coat. After making sure you’re fast asleep he quietly approaches you, brushing your hair with his fingers softly. His touch is feather light so it does not even wake you. He tucks the hair that falls in front of your eyes, behind your ears. For a second he questions about doing or not doing it then he kisses your temple lightly and gets back to his place that he was sitting earlier. When you wake up Joel almost barks at you “You are supposed to stay awake!” you snap back “you could have woken me up!” “well, I tried.” He rolls his eyes. The rest of your patrol goes pretty much quiet. Then you go back to Jackson.

Even though he told you to act like nothing has happened your approach towards him bugs Joel. Deep down he expects you to hate him or like him. His self-hatred is too powerful that he can’t think nobody could care about him without wanting a favor back. But you care about him. A part of him is desperate for this. He is in a constant battle with himself. He is not a good man or a bad man. He does what he had to do. But it does not feel like it. So, neither being with you nor letting you to fall for him is not even an option in his eyes.  He does not know he already gave you enough reason to think about him constantly. Thank god your pride is stronger than your emotions or else you’d be begging for his love. Days pass rather dull since you can’t stop your thoughts about Joel so one night you do something extremely dangerous and stupid. It’s past midnight and mostly everywhere covered with snow. You wear your gloves and coat, take your backpack and gun then leave your house for a night walk. At first you are certain that you are still in Jackson and close to your home. With each step you take you get further away from Jackson. The last thing you know is you are fucking lost. In the dead of night on a freezing weather. At first you think you are getting closer because you think you see a light then you realize it is a mistake. After fifteen minutes of wandering around you have no reliable solution to return your warm bed. Your brain tries to keep you calm but your heart wants to scream. Screaming is the stupidest thing you can do so you are trying to keep your cool. In the middle of your loud thoughts, you hear footsteps. Your hand slides to the gun in its holster and you hold your breath. Your heartbeats get faster and faster. You can see the siluette of the figure approaches you. “Joel?” you call his name. Your hand is on your gun. But it is not Joel. It is another man. You don’t know who he is, but there is a chance that he might be a raider, the moment you turn the other side you see another man. One of them speaks “Would you like to come with us? we live down here with a group of people.” his voice is disturbing. You know you can’t trust them. Your grip tightens around your gun but your hands are shaking. With the adrenaline rush in your veins, you run and run till you run out of breath they run after you. At this point you have not a clue about where you are. Your gun fell on the ground and once you think it is safe enough you kneel to look for your gun. With the sharp pain at the nape of your neck you black out.

When your vision starts to come back the first thing you realize is you are not in the woods, hell you don’t even know where you are because it is so fucking dark. Your hands and legs are tied tightly and you sit on the floor. Your mouth is taped. You feel like you are about to die. All the memories rush through your head from your childhood to this day not all of them desirable. Even though a voice at the far back in your head desires death at the moment, you desperately want to live. You curse that you didn’t take your pocket knife with you, not that you could do anything but maybe it would have been helpful since you dropped your gun and don’t even know where it is. The man you first saw approaches you in the darkness. “so, what brings you here?” he asks you can’t answer because of the tape but even If you could you would not. He then, rips off the tape on your mouth. “answer me!” “fuck yourself.” You bark. You don’t know what is the reason behind this anger. Your own stupidity? This motherfucker? or Joel? Probably all of them. When he slaps across your face your face burn with pain. It fucking stings. He grips your hair tightly and makes you look at him “watch out your mouth cunt. You don’t want to die, are you?” “do it you coward. Kill me already.” You know this is not the best response you could give. He yanks your head to the wall behind you and you feel dizzy with the sensation, the following punch on your nose causes the warm blood leaking from your nose. “are you a raider?” you ask, it is a stupid question but apparently this man is more stupid than you. “congrats your guess is correct!” he answers with a condescending tone. “why did you kidnap me?” “because you seemed like a good use.” We can trade you with food, we can fuck you, you know a whore is needed in an all-men camp.”  His grin is the most disgusting thing you have ever seen, you try to memorize his features because one day you may have to kick his ass, his blonde hair and blue eyes make him a villain already. When the other man comes the blonde one shuts his mouth. He tries to feed you with some disgusting looking food just so you don’t lose your “appeal” and when you spit on his face another smack is you get in return. The quiet one is just checking out just in case blonde one needs a backup. You try your best to look tough in front of these monsters but the urge to cry is so strong. You know how horrible raiders are. You don’t know the time but you can choose sunlight from here and there in this god forsaken room. A couple of hours later though when it’s light enough, you realize that you are in the shed you and joel had sex. You want to throw up. You see the mirror, the couch. “You and that old man had a great time here.” The blonde man grins as if sensing your thoughts. The heat rises from your cheeks. You hate the idea of these vile creatures know about you. “I wish we could watch, but hearing your moans gave me a boner.” He laughs. “maybe I should taste that cunt too?” you are beyond repulsed at the moment. Fear, disgust and sadness takes control of you. “you can only fuck your fist. You ugly motherfucker.” “wanna test it out?”  the quiet tells him to shut up. You hear a scream and the quiet man leaves the shed leaving you alone with the blonde man.

As if he is waiting for this moment, he gets closer to you. He rubs your cheek. “now, we’re alone. I’ll see what that old man could taste.” When he gets closer to kiss you, you hit his head with your head. He yelps in pain and he tightly wrap his hands around your neck. You can hardly breath. You are certain that in a minute you’ll be dead. When you see Joel creeping in behind the blonde man tears run down on your cheeks “don’t cry pretty girl, you’ll be dead soon.” Then Joel knocks him out and gives him a couple of serious wounds. He unties your ankles and wrists and he hugs you tightly. “the man-““don’t worry about him now, Tommy is around, he will take care of it.” he says. He helps you out and you leave the shed together. “there was another man.” “I know darling” you feel so tired but the safety being next to him is unexplainable.

He takes you his home and sits you on his couch while wrapping you in a blanket. When he returns with a warm cloth, he wipes down your face. “Now, tell me darling what the fuck was the reason for you to leave your house at the ass crack of dawn!” he says sternly. He thinks it has been a couple of hours… “How you found me?” “the marks in the snow. Also, I reckoned you might get a lil emotional and stuff.” So, he thought you would visit the shed because of the memories. “Why did you leave your house?” the Texan rasps while softly patting the cloth. “I was bored and I wanted to take a night walk.” “You left your house at night! Are you outta your goddamn mind girl!” You don’t have an answer for that. “You know how dangerous that is? You know what they could do to you? look at you your face is a mess!” “Why do you care!” he does not have an answer for your question. Because his heart and brain tells two different things “How did you realize I was not at home Joel?” you mutter . “stop by your place this mornin’ you didn’t answer. Knocked and called out your name, you didn’t answer. Thought you were, yknow mad at me or somethin’ then I wanted to check in anyway, you forgot to lock your back door by the way.” He smiles guiltily. Then you realize he entered your house and could not find you. “your backpack was gone and I thought, you left then I told Tommy, we decided to look for ya.” You feel all warm and fuzzy. All your anger is gone instantly.

“why did you stop by my place?” you ask. He does not answer. But you have a wild guess. You choose to keep it to yourself. “I thought I was going to-““shhh” he kisses your forehead. “I got you.” You are scared to ask another question. The former memory of you still tickles your brain. He holds you softly by the chin and intently studies your scars with furrowed brows. “You need any painkillers? Asprin?” “no” you are enough, you want to add but you don’t. Now you have no idea how to respond him. His actions may be deriving from your state. Or maybe he really cares about you! you are not sure. Your eyes lock for a while. You lose yourself in his chocolate browns. The more he looks at you the more he feels guilty because he wants to kiss you “did they do any-“ you interrupt him “no.” he nods. He gets up from the couch and leave you all alone with your thoughts. The power he holds on you is unbelievable. He was holding you a second ago and you miss his touch already. When he returns with two mugs in his hands you let yourself lose the control of your emotions for once again. “thought I’d help” he hands you the cup when you take it from him your fingers brush each other and you the pool of emotions gets bigger inside you. You smile warmly in return. He sits right beside you, you sip your coffees in silence. This time, you let the silence linger. It does not bother you. On the contrary, it calms you down. You lean your head on his shoulder, he leaves a kiss on your forehead. You don’t know it is the second forehead kiss he has given you, you were asleep in the first one. You wonder how long will it take for him to return his grumpy self. For the moment though you embrace the closeness you are in. It feels so genuine. You tilt your head up and look at him intently “what?” “nothing.” he wants to kiss you so bad. But it feels wrong. This time you take the lead and kiss him not knowing whether he will push you away or kiss you back. He does not push you away. When your tongues meet with each other, the familiarity greets you. You kiss deeply. It almost feels romantic. With each touch or kiss you get use to his presence. You know it is slowly turning into an addiction. He is the one who breaks the kiss. “You needa rest.” “I’m fine” “no.” he carries you to his bed bridal style. It’s barely afternoon but when your back touches the bed, you realize you tired you are. He tucks you in and starts walking away when you call his name “Joel?” “what?” you catch the slight usual grumpy tone. “can you sleep with me?” you sound as if you’re begging. At this point you are embarrassing yourself, but you don’t care. He huffs in return but does not deny your request. He slides in under the blanket like you on his back faces you. You want to ask him to spoon you but decide to shut up and spoon him instead. When your wrap your arms around his torso a smile creeps up on his face though you can’t see it. You nuzzle against his neck and breathe him in. you don’t know what is going to happen next but the security that he gives makes you forget your worries. You fell asleep soon after. He is a banished angel not only from heaven but also from hell, laying in your arms, letting you hold him.

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tags: @orcasoul @eliza-8

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Family Headcanons

Because I need there to be drama and angst and accuracy because whoever the fuck wrote for Jack did not do eldest siblings justice /lh Also TW for angry parents (Riddle), divorce, dead parents, su*cide + death of a child (Vil’s) I Promise Not All Of Them Are Sad

- Riddle doesn't know he has an older, disowned sister, which was a contributing factor to how his mother treated him because she didn’t want another disappointment.  Riddles mom had another man before Riddles father, and they had Cora Rosehearts (because she kept her maiden name, she didn’t take on her partners last name and insisted for reputations sake, her kids would take on her last name) When Cora was six her behavioural "issues" started coming through, and despite her mothers medical background, she wouldn’t/couldn’t find ways to work with her ADHD to the point she almost hit Cora, but her father stepped in. They argued, the father was horrified, and Ms.Rosehearts blamed him and his genetics for the disappointment of a child. He left right then and there with his daughter and called the cops on her. Nothing happened because there was no proof, but Riddles mothers view of herself was so fragile, she felt she was failing if she didn’t have her perfect family. She very quickly found another man (probably someone she worked with) that she figured would be compatible enough with her to have a child that would meet her expectations Cora’s father finds it difficult to say no to anything Cora asks for because of how she was treated when she was little and he wasn’t always around to protect her. She’s pretty humble and doesn’t ask for much. They're really close and very happy, but Cora often thinks about her mother and what would happen if she did have another kid. Her father finds out about Riddle and debates whether or not he should tell Cora, but once Cora finds out she spends her own money to go find Riddle and show him he has a safe place to come. This happens around Halloween. It’s very overwhelming for Riddle, but eventually the two grow close. Their mother finds out and looses her mind, and she comes to NRC with the intent of homeschooling Riddle again, but Cora stands up to her for him. His mother’s disappointment in him hurts like hell, but he gets to know his biological dad eventually and starts to heal. He can’t bring himself to cut his mother out of his life, but he has harder boundaries after coming home early from winter holidays an emotional mess, just locking himself away in his room until break is over. - Trey is the eldest of 11.  Trey’s parents are both  pretty optimistic about everything, a little unrealistic This made Trey, as the eldest,  learn to be more down to earth, and keep things real, but hopeful. Its exhausting though, any sort of conflict between his parents (not that there’s much) he’s the buffer, but he has to do it for 10 other people. He’s incredibly patient but again, it’s tiring, resulting in apathy when he’s alone or sometimes with Cater/people his age save for Riddle. Seeing as he’s 18, his siblings are all two years younger than the one before them, the only set of twins being the second youngest at 2 years old who he’s closest to emotionally, and the youngest being a baby baby. His sister immediately after him is a little salty that he left home so easily, happy, even to let her take on the responsibility of becoming the “eldest”, but really she’s scared that he is going to leave permanently. Over break he gets the chance to address those fears and make up with her. He loves coming up with new recipes with each of his siblings, and his parents are incredibly proud of him. - Cater's mom and dad are on the brink of divorce his mom (and as a result of his mom, his sisters) spends money to cope but doesn’t have a job herself and relies fully on her husbands accounting skills to make sure things are fine and he's cheated on her once, she knows and uses it to guilt trip him into staying (in their private convos) this was way back, Cater would have been like 6 they, privately, agreed to stay together until all their kids moved out. His mom started trying harder to bond with her kids (also a recovering alcoholic at the time, she’s better by the time he’s 8) but really only succeeded with the girls, and could see that so panicked and just tried to include Cater in everything, thinking it would bring them closer, so if they did divorce before the kids were grown, she figured they’d want to stay with her more often and she could live off child support She also definitely got into a pyramid scheme to prove she could get a job however, his sisters still live at home (26 and 28) and his dad is just so emotionally exhausted he doesn’t care anymore, he’s just really fucking depressed and can’t bring himself to care anymore.  - I have nothing to note for Deuce. His mother is perfect. I love their dynamic. - Ace's older brother is Jack Hearts (he held onto his moms last name after she passed and uses it to honour her in his shows, Ace was too young to remember her) they were raised by their dad and grandparents. Ace adores his big brother immensely and texts him on at least a weekly basis, if not daily. Whenever he learns something new that he’s proud of, he takes a video of it and sends it to his family, because he knows that they’re his biggest cheering squad. (based on Disney Recruiters) - Leona’s family also has no change. I do think he and his sister in law are just really salty in almost a fun way towards each other. - Ruggie has SO many adoptive younger siblings (that the community helps raise, its not just up to his grandma). He’s kind of viewed as the communities pride and joy for getting into NRC, they all helped pay for his tuition and whatnot, so in return he helps them however he can. He and his grandma are tight, and they’re little shits to each other. - Jack does not read as an eldest sibling. He’s the youngest, but he has many younger cousins that all live nearby. He’s closest to his oldest/only sister and looks up to her, contributing to his sense of determination. Having had to look after his cousins made him fairly responsible, but as we saw in the tsum event, he still complained when he had to look after the little thing. That’s not an eldest sibling trait /hj. He has a total of four older siblings. His father is a very stoic, hard to read ex-body builder and his mom is a very eccentric, hyperactive tiny woman. His oldest sister has moved out, and married a successful businessman, and they have one child together. His next older brother tried moving out, got his heart broken, and came home to recover but hasn’t left since, and everyone’s ok with it. The second youngest members are twin brothers that loved wrestling with Jack when he was little, and continue to do so today, even though Jack is bigger than them. Their family was fairly conservative, so when one of the twins came out as gay, they worked to understand more. They’ve got the spirit of support even if they don’t fully understand. Jack’s mother loves telling stories about her kids to anyone who will listen, and his dad has pictures of them in his wallet. The cousins are from their dad’s siblings side, as Jack’s mom hasn’t spoken to her sister in a while, but hopes to hear from her soon. - Azul is an only child, raised by his mom and grandma, who yes, he calls his grandma “Nonna” because an underwater Italian leave me alone. They all yell at each other a lot but its never in malice. His mom is really good about giving him hugs though, but he could stand to go without the cheek pinches. - Jade and Floyd are implied to have multiple late siblings from when they were kids, and in Harveston they say "oh this is our family for now (mom, dad, them, and grandma)" which leads me to believe that their mom might be expecting and the whole family is just kinda waiting to see who survives the first 48 hours. The whole family is rather detached, they have to be for the sake of how survival works in the ocean, but now that the tweels are well on their ways to being adults, their mom is a lot more open with welcoming them home and giving them physical affection, and their dad wants to spend more time with them. This is normal for them, and they’re very glad to have gotten to this point. Their grandma has memory issues, so when they’re with her, Jade pins his hair back so the black stripe isn’t visible, making it a little easier for her to discern them from each other. - Jamil and Najma are two years apart in my mind, and their dynamic is excellent, I’m not messing with it. - Kalim has way too many half siblings, but not a single full sibling. This often makes him feel isolated and lonely even when he’s constantly surrounded by people. - Vil is an only child, but technically he's the youngest. (Tw death/suic*de) The press was bribed by his father to not let the story out after his wife suffocated their last child to death when she was two after a mental break. (she was also a renowned celebrity) They kept it hidden for four more years, but when she realized she wanted to do the same thing to Vil, she killed herself in the bathroom. He doesn’t know this, he just remembers her being beautiful and elegant, and wants to emulate her, which he does well. His father initially didn’t really want Vil to get into acting after seeing what it did to his wife, but Vil was adamant about being as much like his mother as possible. His grieving father didn’t have the heart to turn him down.   - Rook has 6 siblings, and he is the youngest. Each of his siblings excel in certain areas of hunting, as their parents are like Clayton and Mary Jane from Tarzan. Rook takes after his mother more, as his father spent most of his time with his older siblings out in the woods, or other biomes that they chose to hunt in. Rook stayed with his mother, learning about how to use every part of the animal, honouring it’s sacrifice, the beauty in death, etc. until he was about 9 and his father helped him shoot a long bow for the first time. Family reunions are difficult to schedule, but when they do happen, a nerf battle “to the death” happens, before each person makes their favourite dish from the last place they were. Also, his father used to shoot them with nerf bullets if they were getting too rowdy. - Epel has no change, I love him. One thing to note, I suppose is he is trans. His grandma knows. Doesn’t understand a darned thing but he’s happy so she’s happy for him. - Shrouds have each other, as well as "Mrs. Hades" as their aunt (based on Disney recruiters, link above). Their mom is a very warm, loving person, whereas their dad is more detached, (Mrs. Hades is his sister). I like how they mesh, so I’m leaving this alone. A/N I’m hesitant to say anything about Diasomnia except for Sebek, so apologies if you read all this way to try and find Malleus. He’s an only child. There’s no change. - Sebek has an older brother and sister, his sister shares more visible fae traits than either he or his brother do and he’s a little jealous but won’t admit it. His older brother is very bubbly and takes after their father. Sebek thinks he’s the youngest, however he gets to go home over summer break and find out his mother is pregnant. Also I love the HC that Trey and Sebek are distantly related, so yes, that’s canon here too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alright thank you for reading! If you’d like to be put on a tag list please let me know! Masterlist 

[aaakikoo]

SOMETHING PRECIOUS

summary → when you think that you nothing in your life other than to get married to the prince your parents set you up with, someone else comes along your way.

paring → bodyguard! b.katsuki x princess f!reader

an → sorry this took so long, and this is so shitty omggg! Been busy lately :)

warnings → cursing, killing attempt, uncomfortable situations etc, tell me if I missed any! VERY CORNY AND NOT READ PROOF, idk what was happening here icl.

series m.list - this is part 3

“Hurry y/n.” Your mother said as she dragged you from your room down to the dining room. Where prince Todoroki and has parents along with your father, the king sat.

“Good morning y/n, my beautiful daughter.” Your father said as he welcomed you in with your mother. You both took a seat on each of his sides.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Prince Todoroki said as he took your hand and kissed the top of it. After that moment you didn’t want to sit with him anymore.

“G-good morning.”

You sat there next to the man you hated the most as the everyone else discussed while you remained silent, not that anyone will take your ideas or thoughts seriously.

After that meeting you went back to your room, changed to a smaller more comfier dress and took a stroll down your garden to water your plants.

After you had finished you went back to your quarters to be met with a familiar face.

“Good afternoon, princess.” Bakugou said as he opened the door for you.

“Drop the formalities and get in.” He didn’t have a choice, you pulled him anyways.

“Can I help you, princess?”

“I told you to drop the formalities.” You said and room fell quiet.

“What do you need then, y/n?” He said as he took off his suit jacket and hanged it on one of your pink Victorian chairs.

“Do you remember what I said the other night?” You were shying away, Bakugou knew exactly what you were talking about.

“Yes I do.” He replied with crossed arms.

“Have you..considered or even thought about what I said..”

he sighed deeply. “Not very much. Because there is no point, you’re a princess, waiting to get married to another prince who is soon to be a king. While I am just your bodyguard that can be replaced any moment. Why would I ever consider something that will never happen?”

His words hit you very hard as you looked deeply into his eyes and said.

“It could happen. If I run away.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, y/n. I am here to do my job, not to make you my wife.”

“But I-I don’t love prince Todoroki. I don’t want his wife or have anything to do with him.” You were crying at that point. Bakugou hugged you very tight.

“I know that you’ve never asked for any of this, and I know this unfair. But the world isn’t fair. I know you appreciate me, and I appreciate you too, but we can never be together.” He said as he stroked your hair.

“Can we at least be friends?” You asked.

“It’s fine with me.”

You and Bakugou sat in your carriage on your way downtown to go shopping, just because you felt like it.

He had carried all of your bags and put them at the back of your carriage.

“I need a break from home so badly, it’s always nice to be here.” You said as Bakugou smiled at your enthusiasm.

As he was about to say something you heard a loud bang and him screaming your name at the top of his lungs.

As you both fell down to the ground, him on top of you.

You couldn’t process what happened as he already started running after someone. You ran quickly to your carriage and sat yourself inside, waiting for Bakugou.

Many minutes had passed and you didn’t know what was going on.

As you had decided to order the carriage driver to leave, he then came with a stranger between his two arms, wearing all black, wrapped with an old rope.

“Y/n, get home. I’ll be there soon.” Bakugou said as he was panting.

“No get in.” You fought back.

“Y/N LEAVE! ILL BE THERE SOON.”

You knew not to say anything back as you sadly nodded and made your way home.

As you got home you ran straight to your parents office where they were sat there looking very stressed out till you entered the room. Your mom ran over to you and hugged you.

“My y/n, what happened? we got calls from your bodyguard and from the police!”

“Mother! We were heading back from the city and I think someone tried to shoot me, but Bakugou chased after him and told me to get home.”

As your father was about to speak your personal maid knocked on the open door,

“Sorry to disturb, but there is alot going on downstairs.”

You and your family headed downstairs to see your bodyguard standing and panting heavily, and police officers and patrollers standing by the entrance.

“CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?”

Your father yelled in frustration.

“Your majesty let me explain. As far as I am concerned, princess y/n was on her way back from a trip to the city when all of the sudden she gets attacked by this man right here.”

One of the police officers pulls the man from behind.

“Mr. Bakugou right here whom happened to be her bodyguard defended her and chased him down till he caught him and wrapped him with old ropes that he had found on the streets. We took both of them in to our department for investigations, and after along time we find out that someone had paid this man to attack the princess in different ways” The officer finishes and bows his head to the king out of respect.

“Can that explain the attack that happened while we were at the neighboring kingdom?” You asked and Bakugou was very quick to answer.

“Yes. But we need to figure out how he and perhaps other know when you are at home and when you aren’t, and how exactly did he get so close to the prince Todorokis estate.”

Your father had chatted with the police he told them to have more police officers patrolling in the cities, and keep their heads up at all times.

[qaraxuanzenith]

I've been saying this for a while, but finding this post on my dash has, I feel, given me more tools to express this thought about why Jews (especially in the US and American-dominated online spaces) are feeling increasingly alienated by their leftist friends. Why many Jews who otherwise lean left will vote right, much to the dismay and even revulsion of their leftist friends. Why many Jews end up feeling "safer" leaning right. Why it is not fair or reasonable to "blame" these Jews for exercising their democratic right of secret ballot in such a way.

I'm screenshotting the post because (a) it's long, and (b) most of its content is not actually the point here. I'm not trying to argue with the OP or with my acquaintance who reblogged it onto my dash. I just want to explain what I find troubling about it.

The post is, as I said, long. I'll be honest: I only skimmed it. I'm not American. So skimming past - scrolling past to see the rest of my dash - I saw a lot of things where my brain went "Oh, that looks bad," but, you know, in a vague sort of way. Bad, but doesn't impact me directly. Or bad, but not in a way I can do anything about it either way (especially since I can't vote in the US). Or bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally. And then I saw this:

And suddenly I felt hostile to the OP, because oh look, they just lumped in supporting my homeland, where my family live, which is currently under attack and in dire need of support, as a "bad" thing. Suddenly I feel like OP hates me, or at least, considers my continued existence on their own list of "bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally."

But you know what? I kept scrolling. It felt like such a mild lip-service anti-Israel line that I thought, "Maybe this person doesn't hate Jews and Israel so much." I reevaluated my initial hostile response and decided to give OP a second chance, to walk it back. It sickens me that I've gotten so used to racism against my people that some expressions of it just don't register anymore. But I kept scrolling, and it got worse.

So what I'm reading here is an excerpt from the document that sounds, to me as a Jewish person, eminently reasonable and reassuring. Couched in language and context from OP that wants to paint it as a bad thing that the writers of this document believe that Israel, the Jewish state and Jewish indigenous homeland, should be able to defend itself against... *checks notes* three terrorist organizations with genocide against Jews explicitly in their mandate, and one dictatorship country which has repeatedly expressed that it has the desire and is working on having the means to "wipe Israel off the map."

Perhaps OP has been living under a rock (or, like me, only really focuses on political updates that hit close to home) for the past 7 and a half months and is unaware of Hamas's horrific attack of October 7, 2023 against Israel, in which civilians were brutally slaughtered, young women raped, mutilated bodies paraded through the streets, and dozens abducted - many of whom are still in captivity to the terrorist organization which has not allowed any humanitarian visits to the hostages or even confirmed proof of life for those it still holds.

But when I read the above excerpted paragraph, I went from "I'm not American but I guess most of this sounds vaguely bad" to "I hope this party wins." "I hope that this specific part of this platform is implemented because it is offering support, protection, and safety for me and my family."

You - OP and people who share their views; you as non-Jews who do not share in our unique suffering - you have no right to blame us for choosing our own survival. I would expect you to prioritize yours, as well.

It is things like this - not this platform, but this post, lumping in support of Israel against three terrorist organizations and a genocidal dictatorship with all the other "bad" things like deforestation and nuclear weapons, that push Jews to the right, or at least away from this part of the left. It is reading things like this, that take it for granted that my family and I should not be protected, should not have a right to live in our home, that radicalize people like me.

You're right: most of the other things here are things I would deem as "bad," but if I embrace this platform with open arms at least I get to survive, to fight against the rest another day. Better than rejecting it in favour of someone who has otherwise wonderful ideals but wants me dead.

I want to be able to care about all the other "bad" things in that post, in that document, but right now, we are bleeding. If I had to vote on it right now, I would choose whoever penned this document or stands behind it, because I need to prioritize my safety and continued survival over any other platform issue, and if I am not for myself, who will be for me?

Not my friends on the left who decry support of Israel against genocidal terrorists as a bad thing, that's for sure.

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ HEADCANNONS: team craig reacting to yn being in the hospital✧.*

✧.* tags: superhero au, college au ✧.* Characters: tolkien blacl, craig tucker, tweek tweek, clyde donavan, jimmy valmer a/n: I got around to sharing team craig! i'm so happy everyone liked the previous one and I hope you enjoy this one just as much!

masterlist

Craig

He’d act very apathetic about the whole situation when you told him

“I’m going to be in the hospital for the next week, I got into an accident during a villain attack and hit my head pretty bad.”

“Oh wow. That’s a bummer.”

“Yeah, can you grab my homework for me?”

“Eh… I’ve got some things going on tomorrow.”

He doesn’t want to see you hurt 

So he just avoids going

As long as he doesn’t physically SEE you, you can’t really be hurt, right?

Clyde drags him to the hospital to visit you 

After that he’s visiting everyday until you’re discharged 

Then sits with you to pass the time since you can’t look at screens until you’re healed

Definitely shows you his astronomy books

(lowkey very happy to have someone who listens to his interests instead of dealing with south park’s bullshit of the day but he’ll never say it)

Tweek 

Let’s be honest we ALL know what he’d do

And it’s not sit down, have a cup of tea and wait to for you to be discharged

He’s running into the automatic door before he can open

Probably ends up in the hospital WITH you by the time he makes it to your room

“WHAT HAPPENED”

“I literally texted you”

“I tried to read it but my hand wouldn’t stop shaking so I decided to get here as fast as possible but then my bike hit a curb so I had to run all the way over.”

“Jesus fuck dude, you need this bed more than me.”

“NO DONT GET UP YOUR BLOOD WILL GO EVERYWHERE”

“Im literally being discharged rn”

You being hurt means that HE can get hurt

Starts showing up to EVERYTHING covered in bubble wrap

He looks like that kid from home alone except with bubble wrap 

Craig blames you

“Bro my car was literally crushed by the fucking coon how is that my fault”

“You didn’t coon-proof your car and now Tweek’s going to be freaking out for the next month”

Tolkien

Probably the only one with a NORMAL reaction

You send him a text that you were in the hospital and he says he’ll be over once he’s out of class

Real normal stuff

Normal until he gets to the hospital

You can’t tell it’s him through the balloons and flowers and stuffed animals

“Why does the bear have a card that says ‘We’ll beat Cancer together’?”

“I didn’t know what was wrong so I grabbed one of everything.”

You were knocked out when a piece of debris hit your head during a villain attack

You need to go back to work to make money for rent?

Nah he covered your rent for the month. And utilities. And filled your fridge.

What’s the point of being rich if you can’t help your friends when they’re hurt? 

He’d do it for anyone!

(anyone meaning you and butters. Maybe kyle if he’s in a good mood. Only redeemable souls in the whole town)

Clyde

Acting like you’re DYING the moment you tell him

You could literally have a sprained ankle and he’s sobbing like you’ve got a day to live

“I know i wasn’t always the best friend in the world but I care about you so much!”

“That’s great clyde, can we talk about this tomorrow though?”

“You’re so strong. Acting like everything’s okay.”

Watching the area around you like a HAWK for the next month incase there are any dangers

What if you get hurt again??

Wants you to stay home for a month after you get out of the hospital 

Stands in front of your door, holding the doorknob so you can’t open it inward

But the door opens outward

So you send him falling onto his ass and start walking to class with a sobbing clyde crawling across the floor behind you

He means well though

Jimmy

Finally, the perfect audience to try his new hospital set with

He doesn’t really like hospitals since his comedy isn’t usually appreciated 

He’ll call you everyday though! And tell you everything that’s happening with your friends

It’s like having your own personal sitcom that calls you everyday

“And then craig threw his ice cream at cartman’s face and made him the true mint chocolate chip.”

“PFFFT! God i love your commentary”

“What can i say, you’re a great audience!”

“Can you just call me everyday and recap the day?”

“Wow, my mom always told me i’d be famous but this is getting a little wild”

Even if he’s worried, he’s not going to say anything.

He wants to boost your mood since he knows hospitals have rancid vibes

He’s the first one to visit you once you’re back at home and he’s got PAGES of recaps to share with you

[softxsuki]

Hi I have an urgent request if you don’t mind.

Could I request head cannons for Baji with a reader who self harms but in a more violent way. Like she’s already really skilled at fighting but to train she goes out and kicks and punches trees sometimes to the point of breaking her bones. And sometimes if she’s just having a rough day she will go out and hit the trees to let off steam. In addition to all of this she also has large scars on her shins, feet, and knuckles and sometimes the scars will open up when she fights. I hurt lol 🥲

Baji with Reader Who Punches Trees After A Bad Day

Pairing: Baji x Fem!Reader (though I think it could be read as Gn?)

Warnings: Mentions of blood, form of self harm (punching trees), re-opened wounds, crying

Genre: Hurt Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 610

Summary: In which Baji comes over one day and finds you hitting the trees in your yard

[A/N: So very sorry for the wait. It's been a rough few weeks for me. I'm also sorry that this isn't my best work. I honestly couldn't think of much and I'm having the same problem with my other two urgent requests atm. I'll need a little while to get back into a writing rhythm. or just continue to force myself to write until it gets better. I hope this at least provides you with a tiny bit of comfort. Hope you're doing okay <3] (excuse the horrendous title. Idk what to name this 😅)

Baji:

It was just like any other day for Baji; sneaking over to your place, and hopping the fence into your background like he usually did when your parents weren’t home, since you always left the back door unlocked

But he didn’t expect to hear grunts and the sound of something being hit

So when he jumps over the fence and sees you beating this tree down--he’s stunned

Sirens ring in his head though as soon as he sees the blood dripping from your knuckles, along with your pants soaked in the red liquid as well

“Oi, knock it off,” he yells, running towards you and stopping you from assaulting the tree any further

Though he could care less about the tree and more about you hurting yourself

His heart breaks though when you cry out in frustration, tears running down your face

Every punch and kick felt better than living in your own emotions, you wanted to feel anything other than what you felt deep down inside, so the stinging of your knuckles and throbbing in your leg was welcomed

He had to hold you down for a little until you felt better

“At least punch me! Get it out of your system,” he screams at you, finally letting you go, but his words make you pause

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Exactly, I don’t want you to be hurt either, so please just settle down, let's talk it out.”

And so you did

You sat side by side in your yard just crying and letting out all your pent up emotions and Baji listened to every word, glancing down at your bleeding wounds every now and then

After getting everything off your chest you both  sat in silence. It was now dark out, the stars were shining and the moon illuminated off you both. A chill in the air ran over you, making you feel truly alive as the goosebumps raised on your skin

“I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. Emotions suck sometimes, trust me, I would know. I’m not exactly known for acting properly whenever I feel them either, but let’s try and cope through them better…together. Okay? I hate to see you like this,” he address your bloody appearance

You take his words in. It never felt to great the next few days as your wounds were healing, and sometimes you’d regret going overboard on your attacks, knowing you’d have to deal with the pain for days to come, so you agree–you’d at least try

Satisfied with your answer, Baji suggests for you both to head inside so you can clean up

He waits for you in your room as you shower and change clothes, then he gets to work in treating your wounds, along with your leg wound that had opened up again, proof that this wasn’t your first time doing something like this

He bites his tongue though, he doesn’t want to lecture you or annoy you in any way, so he just continues to take care of you

Next time you try something like this though, he’s just fully throwing himself in between you and whatever you’re hitting

Hitting him would definitely do you less damage, and he was willing to be your punching bag if you needed it

Probably schedules those destroy rooms for you, or invites you to his place so you can punch his punching bag with the proper protection so you don’t hurt yourself, but you’ll still be able to blow off some steam

He has moments of rage and definitely can come up with safer ways for you to express those pent up emotions, so give those a chance

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 4/2/2023

[funarisjournal]

Miracle Casting, Miracle Friendship

I want to gush, for a moment, over the casting of the Tsukutabe drama, specifically the leading duo themselves...

That's right! Emi Nishino and Manami Higa. I mean, how perfect are they?? They are Kasuga and Nomoto. They play their parts so in-character that you actively need to check the behind-the-scenes posts from official accounts to remind you what they're really like, and even then, it's not too different. Emi is lot more expressive than Kasuga, but she can hold that back so well...and this was her debut role as an actress?? WOW. Meanwhile, Manami posts photos of dishes she makes at home, and people can't help but wonder if they accidentally clicked on a new Tsukutabe drama post from NHK or something, but nope! Just Manami enjoying her own cooking~

The casting of these two is nothing short of a miracle, though. In one interview, Manami states she believes landing this role was like a reward of sorts after the career she started over a decade ago, where she can relax and just be herself. Now, I couldn't find the exact details of why she was chosen as Nomoto - at one point I thought I read that she was already an immediate consideration from the staff, but I can't find the interview/article that said anything of the sort. HOWEVER! We have proof of just how much of a miracle this was with Emi being cast as Kasuga via an interview with the producer of the drama:

"Truly miraculous," indeed~

Emi is a musician, first and foremost. Manami, meanwhile, has always been an actress. These two paths don't really cross often, especially if the genres don't mesh. They had definitely never met before landing these roles, and yet, they hit it right off. It's like a "colleague" version of Nomoto and Kasuga's story. Never really interacted, never had any connections to even interact...until we presented them with something that would start that connection...

But, oh...it doesn't stop there. This has gone beyond the show! A proper friendship developed between the two, and even now, they still find the time to hang out (usually to eat, by the way, heh~) Even now, way after S2 had ended back in February (and taping ended before that, too), they still find the time to spend together.

Manami had some really touching things to say about Emi in that same interview I mentioned earlier, too. It's like a platonic version of Nomoto and Kasuga, and it's just so adorable. Even she views the whole situation as if it was fate:

Emi has also mentioned how quickly they became friends via an interview that was recently posted. While she doesn't use the same language as Manami, just reading this response shows that their chemistry was so strong that it ended up going beyond their roles!

Fate isn't just for lovers. Love doesn't just mean romance/sexual attraction. It comes in many forms, and these two are amazing examples of fated friendship that just needed a special push to help them meet.

This casting was, truly, a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Even if we get an animated version of Tsukutabe, or maybe some other live-action project, like a movie... even if those hypothetical, new actresses mesh for such a project, I don't think we'll ever get the amazing level of serendipitous chemistry as Manami and Emi again ❤️