#not like a parody of Slenderman

[qdkdraws]

It started out as a fairly simple sketch, but at some point I got carried away XD p.s I still don't understand why the final show didn't use Alastor's form from the comics. Just…why?

[sw33t-oubliette]

faith is great the character thats just slenderman but slightly to the left and with lore is one of the most tragic characters in the game and he looks like this

[averagesizedperson]

In like 3 to 5 years Gen Alpha is gonna try and revive 2010-2014 "YOLO SWAG" culture the same way the youngest zoomers are reviving "teh penguin of doom" lolsorandom humor from 2007. They'll buy Odd Future hoodies at extremely marked up prices on DePop, listen to Skrillex and make montage parodies, and talk about "the ratchet aesthetic" the same way people today talk about Frutiger Aero. The song "Stick Stickly" by Attack Attack! becomes something that people listen to unironically.

Slenderman will make a comeback around this time. The year after this, Little White Lies publishes an article titled "Were We Wrong About the Slender Man Movie?" leading to critical reevaluation of the once-maligned Hollywood creepypasta film. A non-binary teenager from Delaware named Squid becomes an Oscar nominee for their metafictional mockumentary about the origins of the Jeff the Killer image.

Also in the year after this, the long-forgotten "Tumblr hipster" aesthetic returns. Neo-vaporwave becomes the hot new sound on VR Chat dance clubs.

[something-something-peaceful]

Alright guess who’s in the mood to analyze offenderman and how we could rework him because Jesus Christ it’s bad. Also yes I did actually read the wiki this time so yay?

Offenderman’s biggest issue is that he wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. He’s a parody which when he touches on heavy subjects is an issue. He also doesn’t work in the fanon “oh we’re all a family, and we only sometimes want to kill each other.” Because then he will just turn into the uncle that we don’t mention and only shows up for the reading of the will or something because we don’t want them at Christmas. You know? The creepy uncle. You can have slutty characters, hell I make them every time, but they’re not rapists and pedophiles. And yes technically in the wiki he’s not a pedophile but A he easily translates into one and B the youngest he goes after is 14, which doesn’t help his pedophile case. Also pedophile has come to mean anyone that touches kids, so yeah he’s a pedophile. I’m not going to defend him and say he’s actually (insert more specific name that I don’t remember but it doesn’t matter because 14 is still baby). He would be fine if we actually liked creepypasta’s for the pure horror, and was meant to be taken seriously. Instead of an easily rule 34ed slenderman. Now I guess I should get to the reworking bit, now something important to take note of is that I see offenderman constantly being on the move, it’s very rare that he stays in one place. So objectively he could easily be hardly mentioned. Of course it’s not hard to not mention a family member. I think he would be better if he was just searching for love but only understands love as sex and whatever romcom fairytale a primordial being could interact with. Him killing people when he’s no longer happy in the relationship for whatever reason. Killing them out of frustration like “why can’t I just be in love?!” I think I’ll be keeping the stalking bit but he’ll try to spend that time harassing the person he’s pursuing to go on a date with him. I don’t understand the red and blue rose thing, like just keep one rose man. What if I think you’re offering me both? I’m just going to have his youngest age he goes for be at 20. I just don’t want to deal with the pedophila. It’s really hard to make this character likable and no matter what the original intentions of the creator were, he just easily translates into the pedo and the rapist. I think regardless offenderman stays away from the creepypastas that are under his Brothers control.

Also side note while reading the wiki it said something about how since offenderman and humans aren’t the same species it would technically be beastiality. Which is a take I didn’t think about. So um, I’m sorry monster fuckers but that’s just added to his list of crimes. Oh also necrophila was added to the list of stuff. Which since I’m reworking him, I’ll just write it as the after scene of him killing his “lover”. Going something like “I’m so sorry babe, I didn’t mean to, you know that right? Please forgive me. You can forgive me right, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Anyways I’m sure the responses will be that he’s just an awful character that needs to be thrown into the fire. Which go ahead honestly, even if this was how he was supposed to be he would’ve evolved into what he is now.

Thank you and good night, I’m going to make butternut squash bread.

[realest-slenderman]

do you think its fucked you're soley responsible for igniting another oncler rp trend., (of course to a much smaller scale) whens slenderman summercamp

i gained 2000 followers and like 40 parody blogs in what 2 weeks tops which is definitely fucked but i singlehandedly started a groupwide bit and i think thats beautiful

[fearandhungies]

when i found out theres some completely nothing character from a slenderman creepypasta that fsr is really popular in the marble hornets fandom despite having nothing to do with marble hornets named Ticci Toby i did genuinely think ticci was like italian and i was like "tee-chee?" because i dont live anywhere near a world where i can without prompting conceptualize that people are obsessed with an ableist tourettes syndrome guy named fucking Ticky Toby. like get it. like Tics. beyond parody. please god can other people with actual like taste and standards get back into marble hornets so i dont have to share such a primary space with these people like marble hornets is so fucking good it does not deserve to get lumped in with this horseshit

[the-splendorman]

Hi ummm I was just wondering what is a splendorman? Is it from a video game? I assumed your gimmick was like, a very theatrical colorful slenderman, but idk

(( Splendorman was a parody of Slenderman created by Neil Cicierega. He more or less is created as a joke character, but I think his creation resulted in the creation of Happypastas, which is basically making creepypastas into happier versions of themselves.

Anyways, Splendorman is a parody of Slenderman - This gimmick blog and my interpretation of him is more or less making him more serious, yet still retaining that silly element of his parody self. What you see here is not how he was portrayed whenever he was first introduced lol.

I love him to death tho and his concept of being Slenderman's brother is silly as fuck to me ))

[pop-r0ckz]

Aight fuck it I’m bored

Thinking of doing a blog of that one post that was like “slenderman in drag would be called Collette mypages” but we might do somefin else

[apollos-boyfriend]

How do you feel about splendorman :3???

GOD. i love the silly slenderman knock-offs/parodies. a part of me sees him as the fun uncle the kids like more than slenderman and it pisses him the fuck off but also. said kids are edgy ass teenagers. i doubt there's any member of the slender family they'd like more than the ominous-ass man himself

[duckapus]

Most of the major events in the Haltmann War, in more-or-less chronological order:

The distraction plan is successful and the Crew + Kirby manage to get into the Access Arc undetected...but shenanigans ensue because it's them and they all get separated early on.

Susie succeeds in copying Mario's Player Data over to Elanore, but doesn't kill him right away, because even if she wasn't afraid of how Movie Mario would react to her killstealing she'd still let him be the one to do the deed since she promised him revenge if he helped her and it would go against what's left of her principles to go back on a deal.

Lots of cool fight scenes down on the surface, with Marcy, Shroomy, Kaizo, Amy, and the other Major Side Characters, as well as the Hologram Trio, getting most of the focus.

There's also a scene with Slenderman, Siren Head and Huggy Wuggy teaming up and absolutely slaughtering Haltmann's forces.

Elanore and Barney decide to help Mario escape because he seems like a nice guy. Unfortunately, the Tax Evasion Yoshis find out and won't let them go without a fight.

Primp Town comes under attack because of course it does, allowing the Puyo Puyo characters, the Koopalings (minus Iggy 'cause he's trapped with the other mad scientists), Root and Lil Coding to show off their skills.

Tari and Saiko find Hal, who's been upgraded Mecha-Knight-Style into the Halt Monitor and is guarding the bootleg Guardian Pod Susie made from the God Box Shard.

The Access Arc's defenses come online to assist Haltmann's fleet against the good guys' much larger fleet, and Sage retaliates by bringing out the Death Egg and fighting Death Star Parody to Death Star Parody, which provides an amazing background for the ongoing fight between Movie Mario and Melony's team

The New and Improved Augmented Security Swipe takes to the battlefield back on the ground, getting into a fight with the side characters and surprise entries Dusty Grumpton and Heavy Squid, while Joe, Dusty's Dad and Fury Bowser fight the King Salmonids and that one giant robot boss from Kirby 64.

Bob and Boopkins run into The Goomba, who now has a personalized Robobot Armor he calls his Executive Suit. It has four massive arms because he, like most Goombas, has kind of a complex about that sort of thing. He's also still only calling Boopkins Fishy, which makes him rather quickly shift from trauma-and-bad-at-fighting-induced-fear to also-trauma-induced-murderous rage

Cody discovers that he inherited his mom's skill with a shotgun when his siblings nearly get killed by a squad of Octoling Clones that slipped past Primp Town's actual combatants.

Kirby, Luigi and Perry find Susie guarding the Scientists, and it's immediately obvious that they're going to have to knock some sense back into her

A second invasion fleet appears in the Internet Graveyard, only to discover that it has not been left unprotected, with 1, 2, Juliano and Knuckles leading the Dead Memes as a well-coordinated army instead of the chaotic feral mess Haltmann had probably been expecting

3 and 4 find Vee and Hex, and while 3 and Vee's frustratingly similar personalities do make them clash at first they manage to get the kids on their side like Mario did. And then the Bob-Omb Battlefield Chain Chomp shows up with a plasma cannon mounted on it.

Meggy ended up alone and, in a scene framed almost identically to the Octo Expansion Agent 3 boss cutscenes, finds DST-19, the Octoling Clone who most closely replicated their DNA donor: Desti. It even has her original Blaster, the signature hot-rod paintjob faded to almost nothing and replaced by patches of rust from its years at sea.

Movie Mario looks like he's on the ropes after a devastating blow from a Super Waluigi Launcher attack, only to tap into the God Box's power and become Mari0, which gives him a second wind also unleashes his secret army of Anti-Minions onto all of the ground battles.

There's also a massive, surprisingly powerful Anti-Meme version of the Onceler who shows up in Primp Town

At the Goomba fight, Booplins manages to actually climb up the mech while Bob's drawing fire with his actual direct fighting, and he proceeds to push the Goomba out of the mech, take control of it himself, and use it to stomp the Goomba without remorse.

Mario, Elanore and Barney defeat the Yoshis, with Mario afterwards lamenting his broken friendship with the main green one, not knowing that he's actually still conscious and has been given some things to think about

Saiko and Tari have a lot of trouble with Halt Monitor, but eventually manage to break through his reprograming thanks to their shared past in the Reboot timeline

Just when it looks like the Primp Town group is beat, Lily discovers that her siren song is the least of her voice's powers, because she unlocks the power to SHOUT DEVISTATINGLY AND IMPOSSIBLY LOUDLY, which basically deletes the Mega-Anti-Onceler, most of the invaders...and a great deal of the surrounding countryside.

During the Susie boss battle, she gradually realizes that her situation with the God Box Shard is a direct and terrifying parallel to what happened with her father and Star Dream. She's not exactly cured of her corruption, but she does at least now know there's a problem and is actively fighting against it. Unfortunately, between all the damage to the Access Arc, the God Box's influence permeating everything by this point, and Mari0 and A.S.Swipe being Mari0 and A.S.Swipe, she doesn't currently have any way to call the invasion off

Meggy vs DST-19 is nasty, both because Obvious Trauma Reasons but also because DST-19 turns out to legitimately just as good as the original Desti was, and besides the lack of talking is even acting exactly like the original would have. Ultimately the duel leads to a draw, at which point DST-19 actually finally talks, commenting on how Meggy's getting slow in her "old age," because apparently she's had Desti's memories the whole time and was looking for a rematch! So now she's part of the group, apparently.

Also A.S.Swipe gets blown up again. Hopefully for good but probably not.

It's at this point that everybody in the Arc actually manages to meet up at the bootleg Guardian Pod...well, almost everybody. Guardians are still missing up until they come crashing through a wall still pursued by the Cyber-Chomp, who's then quicky taken down and freed from its cybernetics by Executive Suit Boopkins, because he's tough now apparently. We'll see how long it lasts.

Meanwhile, out in space, Mari0 is handing Melony's team their asses and Sage is getting way too into tearing the Arc apart, to the point where she's seemingly forgotten that everyone has to actually escape from it before she finishes destroying it. Eggman is very proud of her.

The Arc group gets inside the Pod, which the Chomp puts inside its mouth, and they all shoot out the nearest airlock just in time to not get blown the fuck up, since the Chomp is the Chomp and can totally survive the vacuum of space and falling from low orbit. While that's happening Mari0 sends the group fighting him crashing to the ground

this leads to the final battle happening in a massive crater. While the Arc group is mostly still fresh to go, the space battle and ground battle groups are running on fumes at this point, with the chaos emeralds spent, Waluigi and the Demigods unable to access their powered up forms, Shaggy fucking dead (and poofed because it turns out he was the Shaggy that Axol drew on Anime Island), and Creative Mode disabled.

Despite this they still stand up to keep fighting, with Waluigi pulling out a tennis racket(gloriously fitting), Desmond doing his best with his lance and shield, Steve breaking out the Diamond Gear, and Melony actually having Kirby use her sword to become Fierce Deity Kirby and pulling out Inkweaver to use herself.

Just about everybody still standing working together(including a surprise Lawyer Kong pulling a Cease and Desist for a brief stun at one point) just barely manage to take him down...except the boss music just changed keys instead of ending.

Mari0 grabs Luigi, stating that its fitting he'd use SMG4 Mario's brother to gain the power to destroy this world, given what happened to his own, and starts fucking absorbing all of his Meme Energy! This gives him the boost he needs to start draining the Meme Energy and Anti-Meme from everyone and everything around him, except for Mario because he wants his counterpart to ba awake enough to suffer and the Haltmann siblings thanks to their immunity to Anti-Meme energy.

Regardless, this allows Mari0 to assume his final form, Mari0 Soul('cause Kirby), with only Mario, the Haltmann siblings and Peach(who has no Meme Energy of her own thanks to the Worst Activation Ever) left standing to fight him

Except, as the fight wears on and it all seems hopeless, their friends start managing to jump back into the fray, still weakened from exhaustion, injuries, pain from the extraction, and the fact that they can't use memes to screw with reality like usual, but no less willing to help save the day

Even Yoshi manages to come back and sides with the heroes, allowing for a last-minute Big Super Move courtesy of the whole Seven Star Children thing Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Wario, Yoshi and Donkey Kong have going on(from Yoshi's Island DS) that Mari0 couldn't have possibly seen coming thanks to his origins. And now he dead and the Anti-Memes die with him

Now there's the cleanup, including dealing with the whole "Desti is a goo clone now" situation, detoxing everyone who got pumped full of Anti-Meme Energy (especially Susie), and figuring out what to do with a whole extra weak-but-fully-functional-and-stable Meme Cycle Set who on one hand are creations of the God Box meant to be used for evil but on the other hand are literal children who ultimately decided to be good the very first chance they got.

Also Yoshi now gets to join Peach and Welony in the "Attempting Redemption" group! Mario is probably going to be significantly more wary about this one, considering.

[lu-kario]

today my dear followers who did not ask for this,

A Very Honest Slenderman(2018) Review!!!

by a creepypasta fanatic and someone who needs to think about smth else to not k- moving onto the "review". (it's not a real review i'm just gonna shit on it obviously)

It's just gonna be a list of things I noticed that bothered me throughout the whole film and made it physically difficult to watch. That was the second movie that took me two days to watch not because I was scared, but because it hurt my brain to finish it. ((((also yes. i am very . VERY . late to the party. i know. don't worry)))

Starting off, the characters are not likeable at all. None of them. They don't behave like actual teenagers. Someone from that directing team was observing high school students for a week with a notepad and was done after thinking they did a good job. I may or may not be autistic and not behave like that either but I've been in high school and have seen stuff. Obviously.

Second of all who just watches adult vids and calls it a night with friends wtf-

Not important . Maybe someone does?? Also these teenagers are created to be so edgy for absolutely no reason ((pointing out that line from ginger girlie saying that the cat should've exploded at the end i'm so fkn glad she was gone first)).

Another thing. Let's get to the star of the mfing show,,, Slenderman .

What they made of him was some kind of a,,, dryad?? Like there's legit some Slenderman Tree in the woods that he walks out of to collect kids and bear them with his big ol' self. Don't get me wrong that concept would be cool on it's own if not the thing that. It doesn't suit him at all. And the Slenderman Summoning Video as well- wth was that . You're telling me some bells (something added for the sake of the movie I suppose bcuz i never heard of that) with added five stock images of what'd you get if you typed 'illuminati' giving you a high speed seizure attack are gonna summon this big boy? The reactions are so hilarious to me as well WHY WERE THESE GIRLS PANTING AS IF THE DAMN SLENDERMAN WAS THERE WITH THEM give me a break. That would hint at least Slendy is some kind of . illuminati-ish experiment left off in the local woods grabbing kids to expand the tree for decades? i suppose.

Mostly what they did with him is giving marble hornets series but make it a on-budget parody that relies for it's damn life on shock value- flashing images constantly, having those ominous shots to make you feel something and lemme tell you i did feel something(nauseous). Also having the original contest images in the film was fucking hilarious so uh +1 for that but that's the only thing i actually liked.

Yet another thing! Nothing in this movie felt genuinely connected to each other,, if it was an artistic interpretation or smth idk i think i wouldn't mind as much but don't be calling this a damn full fleshed out movie.

The Slendy in this movie felt like a totally different being than the original it was sad to watch.

the effects were ,,,alright? like nothing to hate but nothing specific about it to like . it was just alright at best.

very last thing unless i've decided i remembered smth else-

THE LIGHT WORK IN THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING TERRIBLE I HAD MY SCREEN LIGHT SET ON MAX AND STILL COULDN'T SEE A DAMN THING AND GUESS WHAT? THAT WAS THRU OUT LIKE 80% OF THE DAMN MOVIE

enough of that no matter if you enjoyed the ranting have a great day dont watch this movie unless you wanna suffer uhhhh have this cool cat pic of my cat idk what to put here anymore

edit

oh yeah i remember now

WHY DID SLENDY WALKED SO SEDUCTIVELY.............WHAT,

bro was swinging his hips seducing the victims i am done goodbye

[vurlient]

I just realized my awakening of my writer persona because I started to make a parody of my own creepypasta (oc or smth) it’s like a body horror thing. AT school. DURING recess. I wasn’t even done, i had it labeled as ‘part 1’ , shit goes downhill cuz my bff looked over my shoulder fucking intrigued and whatnot. Asked me what the fuck was I doing with two stapled sheets of paper. Mind you he doesn’t have any knowledge of creepypasta. (but he just knows like Jeff & Slenderman) holy fuck I didn’t know what to say I mean, I only wrote the thing just to see if I could write well or at least in a captivating way for people to read.

I made a disclaimer that it wasn’t done, he didn’t hesitate to read it. My eyeballs were darted on him as he read the first fucking paragraph (BRO IT WAS LOW-KEY EDGY AS FUCK) but I didn’t care, I had to put my issues irl to stem some kind of plot. The protag was also a guy

AFTER reading, all he could pin point was:

“why did he kill that person”

“oohh murder, damn he was a murderer”

“damm he mentally unstable”

Bro his reaction kills me

I honestly didn’t want ppl to read it, just bored and wanted to make some poetic dialogue :-P

[lgcjino]

FILE: 지노 _ PLOT CALL _ q4 —  this is totally late but we'd definitely like to plot and get things rolling if anyone still has some room on their trackers. below the cut are some suggestions / ideas to jumpstart a thread ! ◡̈

SUB: EVENT

⤷  RE: ACTING MISSION

new actor trainee, moon jino reporting for duty !

improv study — you overheard jino listening to a youtube video that's verbalizing improv cues, you just so happen to see him right when he's supposed to act out a demoralizing heartbreak or his personal interpretation of a fish out of water -- either or, both are equally as mortifying for him.

acting techniques — specifically the meisner technique: unfortunately for jino he got called on in class to counter react a partner's acting, you just so happened to notice jino, not so in his elemental, appearing quite obviously taken back by such a display. for lack of better word, it's hilarious and something that needs to be commented on after (or more amusingly, during) class.

any other acting mission ideas, welcome!

⤷  RE: LGC HALLOWEEN 2023

costume tbd he's going as jock spiderman ◡̈

jino didn't know the candies were fake — sure there were signs, but jino can't read 🤷‍♂️ — and now the candy is lodged in his throat and oh no, is he choking? nah — forcefully dispelling air through the tiny hole in his throat that's currently blocked by a pea-sized fake sweet treat is not choking, is it?

insert thread about costumes that i will update once i 100% narrow down jino's costume options

"i love you, i swear i do, but we're not wearing matching costumes."

idk much about the carpet but best believe jino is gonna will smith-jada moment whoever is beside him at that moment

any other halloween ideas, welcome!

⤷  RE: LGC RETREAT

he's in lgc agency as an actor but he got placed with crystallis !

ghost hunting at the haunted high school x excited puppy jino

jino 100% trying to do a hsm! scream parody of troy bolton along the lockers

running into jino on the way to the bathroom a la haikyuu boot camp jump scare w jino being backlit by the bathroom lighting and his tall ass frame he's practically a slenderman cosplay at night

jino standing in the back of the show me your face game ( mostly bc he's so tall and worried about blocking anyone ) until he realizes that's the point of the game and he's gonna be using his huge af hands to block out the faces of his fellow tall giants

jino 100% mingling and moving from table to table during lunch, also him trying to hand off his kiwis to people bc he doesn't like the fruit kiwi

him dumping flour all over the person behind him's head bc his arms are too long and his reach is too high and inadvertently covering them in flour 🤝 jino trying not to laugh as he tries to help them wipe their face w a wet towel after

SUB: GENERAL

⤷  RE: Q4 ( NEW TERM, NEW GENERAL THREADS ! )

"i really appreciate that you're getting into the halloween spirit, but it's ten in the morning. please turn off the slasher films so i can eat my breakfast in peace."

"what do you mean you've never gone trick-or-treating?!" — but rather than going door to door it's convenience store to convenience store and jino footing the bill on the sweet or salty treats 😋

"you're like the toughest person i know! am i really supposed to believe that a horror film is enough to have you cowering into my lap?"

"hot cocoa is the americano equivalent for kids!" "your point is?"

"how to look suspicious 101"

someone reporting jino for having a pet. the pet in question: link.

jino burning banana bread in the oven and someone comes over for banana bread but ... it's burnt ☹️

jino watched the greatest showman for the first time and now he won't stop singing rewrite the stars and someone needs to shut !!! him !!! up !!!

NOTE

⤷   also i'll be keeping any threads that are still being replied to ( except the lgc au threads ) no matter how old they are unless you'd like to drop and replot, please let me know if that's the case ◡̈

[celestialvexation-arch]

Really?? OK then: so, the basic premise was that it was to be a horror comedy.

It was written back in the day when some remnants of the Slenderverse community were still around, so, naturally, the idea was to make a sort of parody of most Slenderverse series, be it the Platonic ideal of all Slenderverse creations that is Marble Hornets, or one of the subsequent series like Everyman Hybrid or Tribe Twelve.

This basic idea was mixed with all those viral posts about how Gen Z wants to die and how they wouldn't even notice anything freaky happening, etc. As you can guess from that, the main characters were a bunch of Gen Z, with exactly one exception - the token millennial character, exactly one year older than the rest. He was also the straight man of the whole thing, because every horror and every comedy need a genre savvy straight man.

The actual plot of this thing (named Maximum Homiecide) revolved around the main character, Paul Jake, going on a trip with his friends to film an ARG (called Horny And Dying for reasons I literally cannot remember right now) - all the friends (except for Daniel the millennial) were exaggerated stereotypes surrounding Gen Z: There was Skye, the valley girl e-girl; Aiden, whose personality I cannot remember right now; and one more guy whose name I've forgotten but whose only personality trait was that he films vertically (this was before Tiktok), which is why he had to die first (for his vertical sins but also because he was the first character to film and the vertical orientation would make people stop watching. Presumably.)

and there was, of course, Daniel: the genre savvy straight man with an interest in the occult.

And there was Paul Jake himself - the prototypical stereotype of Gen Z, without a care in the world, the kind of guy who makes prank videos and the shittiest rap music you've ever had the displeasure of hearing.

Of course, there were a few other characters as well: notably, Slenderman. Who was supposed to be played by someone on circus-level stilts. Other notable character was Diogenes. As in the philosopher Diogenes. This character was literally just the soul of the Greek philosopher. He got trapped in an Old And Evil-unleashing Book™ that the characters were supposed to find in an abandoned cabin. I don't remember how this happens in the script, but he becomes Slenderman's minion in exchange for a body. His task is essentially to sabotage the main characters. The problem is that they just don't care and honestly don't remember that this guy with black eyes and claws wasn't a part of their friend group to begin with. The only one who protests is Daniel. Daniel and Diogenes get really weird and vaguely homoerotic later in the script.

At one point, Skye tries to get a date with Slenderman. She keeps referring to him as "Tall daddy."

At least two separate people become disciples, but I'm unsure which ones. I think that it kept changing in the script. At one point the plan was to actually have EVERYONE be a disciple but wear the same mask, for comedic effect.

Oh yeah, at the end it turns out that Paul Jake is actually not a human at all but some kind of weird insanely powerful being masquerading as a human (think the Shaggy memes that were popular a few years back). This is foreshadowed by off-handed remarks that are brushed off as Gen Z humour.

[ideahat-universe]

Good Design, Bad Design: Baldidition!

That's right, I'm doing it again. An idea so nice I'm adapting twice!

This time I'm talking about Baldi's Basics.

I believe that Baldi's Basics is the apex form of what a Slenderman style game (which is First Person Survival Horror but that's way more broad than calling it a Slenderman-like) should be.

You have a simple premise, you have a map you can eventually master to optimize your routes, you have a series of random events that you have to learn to work around and a little bit of RNG that can either screw over a run or make it a huge success.

In a lot of ways it shares the same values Buckshot Roulette has. A very simple game with a straight forward ethos on how to play it effectively combined with learning how to work around RNG or have it work in your favor.

In the end the game the will only run you a couple hours. You can play it again but not every game is meant to be played forever and for the price of free it doesn't hurt to play a game that was designed just well enough to accomplish it's assigned premise.

It's easier to see how good it is when you compare it to Slenderman.

Baldi and Slenderman are essentially the same character. The difference is that Slender doesn't have any tells or animation. Most of his outfit is black and the environment is mostly black as well with the only source of light being the flash light your character has. You gather the papers and hope not to see him.

Meanwhile Baldi is always physically on the map and doesn't magically appear ever, you can hear where he is and how fast he's moving, and he tracks you based on sight and sound.

Additionally he has counters. He can be pushed around and his hearing can be jammed with noise.

But Slenderman is an old game that broke the mold. Someone doing something better based on it's original formula is just how art is made in general. Well, how about Advanced Education?

Viktor's Advanced Education plays a lot like Baldi's Basics but, well, it does too much. It's easier to get lost in the school, the problems are harder to do and while do you do the problems Viktor can attack you. Viktor has way less tells and his main counter is much harder to use than the counters that were in Baldi's and you have to micromanage the chef (and you can still get ganked while doing that as well). It also adopts more of a creepypasta tone when Baldi's is specifically a parody of a creepypasta game.

The developer doesn't understand that what made Baldi's Basics work is that it was simple.

It may have been a Game Jam game but Baldi's Basics is what I would consider an example of

Good Design.

Hey it's Baldi's Basics again? Not Quite. It's Baldi's Basics Classic Remastered.

By the way, this is the video that inspired me to write this article but unlike Flaw Peacock's video inspiring me to write about Who's Lila out of how good it was and how it opened my mind to what exactly Who's Lila really is.

Minaxa's video left me feeling like the answer to the question posed by the title "Why did we forget about Baldi's Basics?" wasn't properly answered. He said that the answer was simple and it was. In fact it was more simple than the one he gave.

The real, most simple answer as to why later versions of Baldi's Basics go basically ignored is that everyone moved on.

Baldi's Basics v1.2.2 was a done game and a complete experience. The various iterative changes made by the creator Mystman12 were never going to be enough to keep people coming back because the core experience didn't change and it is still essentially the same game. Minaxa made it seem like it was our fault that we just didn't have the patience to wait for the game to come out in it's true form and that we are more used to rapid fire Fnaf style development.

But uh, that's not the case at all. Indie devs don't live and die on a fast development schedule. You can just look to McPig for that.

This is Pizza Tower in 2018.

And here's the first version to be released on Steam.

Pizza Tower took a long time to figure out just how much Wario it needed to emulate and how much Sonic it needed to add to really be the hit it ended up being. Are we really suggesting that the thing that sabotaged Baldi's was that the first version was too popular and that people would like Baldi's Remastered more if they didn't pay much attention to the first version of the game?

Should I even point out that people played a lot of Amanda the Adventurer and Shipwrecked64 when their demos came out and people played even more of it when the full version was released?

You understand how I find that argument flawed yes?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think Baldi's Remastered is a bad game.

The mistake he made though was not realizing that the premise of his game was simple and he really just needed to move onto the next project instead of tooling it. That's a brutal thing to say but there is such a thing as putting a game into development hell by just feature creeping a finished project.

Again, Pizza Tower in the end had a lot of reworked and cut content from the game in order to finally release it and have it be a success. If Mcpig had the same philosophy as Mystman12 does, Pizza Tower would still not be done because he'd be working on making a third and fourth gameplay mode for Pepperman and The Vigilante.

Would that have been a really efficient use of his time? It would not have been, but that's what Mystman12 is doing to the Baldi series, in his mind he thinks there's more to add to the game to make it better but that's going to be the case with literally every project you can work on. By the virtue of being unable to settle on what a Baldi's Basic's game should be, Baldi's Basics Classic Remastered (and anything after that) is

Bad Design

[creepiefarm]

Please write a creepypasta about Sloober I want to read it so bad

But also I wanted to tell you that I wrote a dumb little Slenderman story last year for Halloween, because my hometown radio station does a thing where they read user-submitted scary and supposedly true stories on air, and they’re all written by ultra religious white women so I parodied that but in a Slenderman story. I mean I’m talking it looks like I just learned what figurative language is for the first time. And I have a creative writing degree so I’d say I did this well. And I ended it by literally saying that the entity I was talking about was a “tall, slender man” and they put it on air. They actually did. You didn’t need to know all this but I did want to say it.

I will be writing the Sloober pasta thank u for ur support <3 i'll post the link here when it's done and posted :3c

that's so funny and i love this story a lot, thank u for sharing. spreading the good news of Slenderman to local radio stations...life can be a dream