#not just lesbians im just using that as an umbrella term but i need these girls to be dramatic and messy.

[hellwurld]

i am manifesting the craziest lesbian lore for qsmp. im talking slimeriana but 10x worse. i need those bitches to give me the average fucking drama of a lesbian relationship but turned up all the way.

[piplupod]

that question is sparked by me seeing a very obnoxious (i.e. eyestrain to the point of inducing a headache) dni banner that lists "bi lesbians" on it and I look at the person's carrd and they have "anti-neopronoun/xenogender/mogai" listed right underneath "bi lesbians/lesboys/etc and supporters"

and i am just. feeling a little crazy. because i genuinely do not understand this fsdjkl i feel like... if you are supportive of xenogenders then you should understand gender is complex and doesn't line up nicely with sexuality labels sometimes so you have to twist things to make them fit right for you and your internal experience... this is why we have cool labels like cloudgender and stargender and all that fun stuff!! these labels are cool! they are good! so why suddenly are we saying that lesbians and gays who do not fit the traditional "i am solely a woman attracted solely to other only-ever-women" box are wrong and bad ?

i dont want to be saying horrible things bc im misunderstanding or straight up not seeing the issue though, so genuinely if anyone has insight please tell me because im so beyond confused at this point

[lesbiancocksucker]

just saw someone claim using identity lists is better than just using the word queer for EVERYONE because it's personally triggering for them

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not making any of my characters, that I have to crank out daily, pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual specifically and only making them bi?

🏳️‍🌈👶🏼 so i can recognize this later lmao also I'm not panphobic or anything, this isn't about the validity of the label, pan is fine.

So i (20snb bi) have a project I'm working on where I take all the characters from a specifc media I'm into and pair them up with each other to make every possible ship kid from every possible ship(excluding characters who are kids themselves or are related or something, that shit is gross). Basically taking every character and pairing them up with another and creating a kid I think they'd have. Its a big project with lots of characters and I'm easily over 400 at this point. I really enjoy this, even if I'm not even 25% complete.

However I set a schedule for myself that at least one ship kid needs to come out each day which, considering I draw them, color them and give them some development and some even have siblings, (The refs themselves easily take me an hour to an hour and a half) I have to make lots of them quickly to keep up with my daily grind. I've been doing this project for over a year and although it's stressful, I can get them out quickly with breaks for myself.

Their character sheets all have some pretty basic info like their name, gender, pronouns, personality and more but it also includes their sexuality/orientation. I have a pretty basic list of options for what their sexuality will be: straight, lesbian, gay, Enbian, bi, Aro, ace and aroace with a few random things like polyam, WLW and a good amount of the something-loving-something/juvelic terms. I did this because, well, there's not many entirely unique orientations outside of them and although I love mogai/xenogenders and complex identities, I dont want to potentially drag up discourse or bring problems to my budding art blog over it. Its just not worth it to me to turn something I really care about on its head, even if I like microlabels.

In this case, I'm using bi as an umbrella term as most of the other terms share the same definition with slight variations in wording or action but not much difference in practice. We all like everyone, it's basic stuff. However, apparently this is a problem.

I've gotten one or two anons asking me questions about my guides asking some kind stuff like is this lesbian ship kid a butch or femme or Is this picture of them now or just at the age you put on the ref and other harmless stuff. Then things got rude with some Nbphobia but thrice now I've gotten asks:

1. Asking snarkily if im a panphobe

2. insulting me for not specifically writing pan or Omni and just writing bi.

3. Saying that I "clearly dont care about pansexual representation." Then brought up how my primary oc is native american so i clearly care about representation but that oc used to be a sona and I'm native?? Its confusing. (And Lowkey racist shit to just assume any native character is a "diversity quota" character instead of just a person existing but I digress-)

Im not pan, im bi so ig these people assume I'm not cool with pan people which isnt true? I have nothing aginest them, they are just pretty similar and I dont feel like it matters if they are specfically bi or pan or poly or any other label. I don't go into details like that for any other sub-group, not even pronouns and I included combinations and some common Neopronouns. I understand the importance of representation but my project has less than 50 people looking at it every day, Im not netflix or something. I'm one guy on the most LGBT blogging site with a big project and very little audience, I'm not showing people who wouldn't already know what pan is that pansexuality exists.

This project isn't that deep considering the characters in question aren't human/dont have human characteristics.(no it's not hazbin/helluva) Also ive never spoken about lgbt discourse or stated anything remotely close to it beyond the guides just passively having characters who are an LGBT identity. I've not even mentioned all the potentional orientations they could have so I'm not sure where/why this came up in the first place. The most politcial things ive said are calling out a creator in my fandom who outed themselves as a transphobe and mentioning im pro-palestine. That's it.

I mean this is pretty low stakes, I can just block these people and be done with it and this some seriously online shit but I just wanna check.

Am I being an asshole for just writing bi instead of specifying their mspec label because I have to produce characters quickly and I don't see enough of a difference to warrant a change/specification that would ultimately slow and clog an already stressful and complex project?

I dont think I am but idk lol

What are these acronyms?

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

as someone from a non-english speaking country (germany), „queer“ is not a slur to me - we do have equivalents for f-got and d-ke, but not queer.

germans have actually integrated a lot of english words into our language, so much so there is a word for it: „denglish“ from the german word for german which is „deutsch“ and the word „english“, similar to the usamerican „spanglish“. this really shows how much we culturally and politically rely on mostly the usa (perhaps because a big part of germany was under us control after the end of ww2) and how much debate and especially ideas we import from overseas.

„queer“ has been widely introduced only in the last few years with the rise of lgbtqia+ culture wars. we even have a „queerbeauftragter“ (queer delegate) who is called that and advises the government on all issues lgb and t and i guess intersex too. its „queer community“, „queer party“ etc plastered also on ads in the cities.

since we have a different history with the word, my main issue is not the slur aspect, but that this „umbrella term“ is on one hand associated with lgb and t, even though these groups (while having a considerable overlap) have different needs and demands, but on the other hand also used for different groups like nonbinary identified or intersex people and even kink and in the worst case pedophiles because people use it as „not heteronormative“, which paradoxically can include heterosexual people if they are trans, intersex, and like i said in extreme cases even kink or pedophilia.

as a bisexual woman myself i struggle with the fact that any space where i might meet other women like me is now „queer“. if you dont open these spaces up to everyone who identifies as some flavour of „queer“, you are an exclusionist, conservative, regressive. even the liberal government we have enforces this.

this trend of grouping in everyone who doesnt meet „societal standards“ into one group does not stop there. another (non-english) term that has been popularised is „flinta“ which stands for: frauen lesben intersex nichtbinär trans asexuell (women lesbians intersex nonbinary trans and asexual). at my old university we had two toilets: flinta and - men.

do they not realise that this is just enforcing male as the default and heterosexuality as the norm? do they not realise that for both political advocacy and practical use these terms are useless? that they do not describe a coherent group? that if you dont know and youre questioning your gender or sexuality or dont want to label it (which; youre probably either bisexual or just gender non conforming in some way), you can just say you’re questioning?

i have little in common with most „queer“ people and im sick that this term is supposed to describe the community im a part of (lgb), and people associate queer with lgb (and t), but i dont identify with it at all, and on an objective level its just useless because it allows all sorts of more or less legitimate, different groups to attach themselves to the fight for lgb rights.

[mommyclaws]

look as a lesbian I don’t get why it’s so awful to just want lesbian spaces?? We as queer people all have different experiences and we can have smaller spaces while still embracing the whole community.

Lesbians go through different experiences than bi non-men do. That DOES NOT mean “we suffer more” or whatever because I hate the whole oppression olympics shit. We are not attracted to men neither sexually nor romantically, and that’s what makes us oppressed in this heteronormative world. We go through harassment, corrective rape, violence, and conversion “therapy” because we are homosexual. If my dad ever found out I was exclusively attracted to women I would get kicked out. Why is it suddenly so awful and “gatekeepy” to ask us to have our own spaces? We still have sapphic spaces! We even have bi spaces and pan spaces! Heck, I see gay non-women are allowed to have their own spaces!

It’s harmful to be treated as a monolith. I’m not attracted to men, and saying im an “exclusionist” for this is lesbophobic. I’m not evil for being exclusively attracted to non-men. I’m not evil for saying we should have our own spaces while we’d still have sapphic spaces!

Words have meanings, and the lesbian label is important to me, for all of its history and all of my struggles. I’m tired of us all being seen as “big mean lesbians who hate men” so so much. It reeks of misogyny to me.

I am heavily disappointed, and I ask everyone to please understand why bi lesbians are harmful.

I'm disappointed you've missed the point of my post. I was talking about the history of different lesbians and sapphics being excluded and hated in our community through generations. The conversation wasn't about bi lesbians specifically, it was about the butches, transfemmes, Pan/Bi, Aro/Ace, nonbinary, and countless other identities that were or ARE still considered not "valid" members of our community at point or another. I was pointing out how this "Bi Lesbian exclusion" is just a repeat of past mistakes and in the retrospective it is rooted in radfem/terf ideology that claims sapphics have to present and feel a certain way to be accepted. I didn’t say anywhere that being attracted to non-men is evil, I didn’t call anyone a “big mean lesbian”. You’re putting words into my mouth. That entire post was about defending sapphic’s right to attraction and expression.

Lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, non cis women and etc can all be oppressed, harassed, hate crimed, rejected by friends/family and other terrible things for their non heteronormative attraction.

Some people are failing to realize these exclusively “one identity spaces" they feel are being threatened don't actually exist in real life. Sure someone can have like, a "nonbinaries only" discord server or a meet up with friends who are all the the same identity. But a majority of queer spaces in real life? They don't have those rules because theres no way to separate queer identities neatly like that- There isn't a need to. You're going to find bisexuals and pansexuals and nonbinaries and trans people and all sorts of other identities at the same lesbian bar, the same sapphic support group, the same circle of friends.

So what exactly are these "spaces" that every other identity has and lesbians supposedly don't? Maybe ask why bisexuals, pansexuals, etc also being in a sapphic space feels so threatening to some in the first place? They have a right to be there as well. We are a community.

A label can be used and defined as whatever the owner of the label is comfortable with! "Lesbian" has always been an umbrella term. It can be a singular identity or it can describe any sapphic experience or it can do lots of things, labels have always been flexible in this way. Someone using the label differently than another person isn't harmful. It's expression.

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, random thoughts, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

Hiiii!!

here, have some basic info about me :3

name: anything goes pretty much but please use multiple names :] HOWEVER not neptune as that is reserved for @marcysbear :3c

OBLIGITORY QUEER SECTION!! i say that like i dont actively want this here. anyway! the labels i use are queer, bi, lesbian, gay, genderfluid, trans, gnc, non binary, genderqueer and arospec. arospec as in i am largely aromantic and use that as an umbrella term, however i am capable romantic attraction/ am flexible with such labels bc its all bullshit anyway.

i have audhd! i get hyperfixation and sometimes talk abt that if i so wish and my special interests are space and generally queer shit. also pls use tone tags i will think u hate me im too anxious for my own good sometimes

i am dogshit at spelling so. ignore the typos and misspellings!!

if u send me chain asks dont expect me to keep the chain going, ill answer it and say thanks but i wont actually do the thing

BOUNDIES!! GENUINE, ACTUAL BOUNDRIES!

-pls don’t send dono asks i don’t got money bc im a minor

-dont think if i have a take like "i dont like taylor swift" i am personally attacking you. you can like whatever the fuck u want idc everyone is entitled to their own opinoins. i just dont like her as a person

-DONT call me the reserved names if you arent that one person

-try to refrain from calling ppl (including me) baby/babe/bae around me it makes me want to die sometimes and i dont want to constantly be a romance repulsed little shit around u guys (this means dont use those names for anyone if i am in the conversation i cant control past that) (it also isnt a problem here i dont think ive ever seen it here its really just discord tbh)

-dont ask for my discord unless were friends or close in some way and dont get offended if i say no

-u can call me a faggot or dyke or tranny as long as you are the slur you are using

-if you have my discord and were moots you can call me a slut and a whore all u want idm :3 (bc i am a slut and a whore.) (really really sorry if you didnt want to read that btw /gen)

OH TAGS UH

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

moots feel free to ask for tags <3

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

~~~~

i think. thats it. if u follow me and u didnt like this post dw im gonna screen u anyway <3

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

~~~~~ blinky time ~~~~~

credit to @jeweledviolets @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

[pokegyns]

the deranged lgbt spaces post is so true. I used to be supportive of lgbt spaces and rights when it was easy to understand for cishet people. lgbt involved sexuality at most back then and the idea was simple, it's okay to have sexual attraction of any kind, hetero or homo. But now I don't see the sexuality spaces much, it's cluttered with gender stuff and trans stuff. The number of terms and definitions have increased so much even tho I have been in these spaces for a while now, I don't know what half the terms means. What's the difference between transmasc and transman? transwoman and transfem? Why does every experience need to have a term, why can't an experience just remain that. When you define an experience, you give it a box in only which it can exist. And that's sad, experiences can be varied and undefined - relatable or unrelatable. Idk where I'm going with this lol but guess I have a lot in my mind :-| correct me if I went wrong

personally i feel like the real way it goes wrong isnt having terminology to describe experiences; its the way its handled.

when i was trying to desist and just see myself as a dysphoric woman and not express myself as some shade of nb and let myself feel comforted by various terms and pride stuff i really did just feel like i was inhibiting myself and basically trying to train myself out of seeing my sex incongruency as as fundamental to me as it really is. And for me personally, having ways to communicate my experiences without a whole mouthful, a "sort" of person that it makes me, is really helpful. honestly even just for the fact im a very "i like sorting things into boxes that make sense to me" autistic.

and like, honestly. identities and forms of self expression that could be considered sorts of "gender identities" has always been part of lesbian communities, and even just, other sorts of identity labelling too.

the problem arises when; 1, everyone is supposed to know what these things mean lest youre hatecriming them 2, people try to project these experiences onto others, insisting it MUST be something every person on the planet has an equivalent of "just like sexuality" when it really *is not* 3, it turns a corner into being dissociated from reality and claiming that entirely unrelated concepts have to do with """gender""" and thus obscuring the experiences of sex dysphorics while also promoting a sense of disreality in the community. this then circles back to problem 1, or ig a modification of it where "that doesnt make any sense" is similarly a hatecrime and, the original spirit of such means of expression honestly was not like this at *all*. these terms were meant as a way to chill the fuck out lol. like. actual self expression, not the existential crises i see people have over these things

also im not sure if youre actually asking about transmasc vs transman etc, but generally transmasc is an umbrella for females who either have gender identities or are transitioning and is less specific than "transman" in order to cover the "grey area" as well as the experiences both collectively have. like; i personally feel "transman" insinuates expecting to be exclusively referred to as male pronouns, etc etc etc. but there is, and always has been, a grey area between living as "fully" trans, and not having any sort of gender fuckery experiences at all.

like i definitely beyond see all the problems with how people of these sorts of experiences have ABSOLUTELY been derailed by the mainstream and emphasizing concepts in the worst possible ways, and i can totally appreciate what ur saying, but i dont necessarily thing putting words to our experiences is inherently the problem as opposed to the compulsory, over-self-analytical and dissociative nature of it all -mod glaceon

[franollie]

you said you were looking for asks so i thought i'd jump in with: 3 (or 5, whichever you'd prefer) favourite comics ever? if you're feeling fancy, two lists, one in terms of quality of the actual comic, and one in terms of character moments etc

Ok so i'll make a list of my top 10 and say why (i'm also not exclusively doing DC comics but they are the majority):

Batgirl (2000): do i even have to explain this one? the art and visual storytelling makes me ill, the way it explores cass's character through her relationship with established characters like bruce and babs, the way cass is so fucking unhinged, the mother-daughter comparisons with shiva&babs vs the father-daughter comparisons between cain&bruce AASSFHFKSDF. ILL.

The New Teen Titans: this one holds a lot of nostalgia for me because it was one of the first comics I read! They were the first team i really latched onto and by extension the first characters i really felt strongly about. Rereading it as an adult and seeing how it still holds up is soooo incredibly satisfying (dickkory was baby's first otp)

Spinning by Tillie Walden: technically cheating because this is a graphic novel but I'm counting it because it's included under the umbrella of sequential art. it's a autobiographical graphic novel about tillie walden's experience growing up a lesbian in the south (of the US) through their relationship with figure skating. i really relate to it and it's a massive inspiration for me and i think everyone should read it

Impulse (1995): ...i'm audhd...it hits a very special and specific place in my heart...but in all seriousness i love the shape language and the character dynamics. god the cast is soooo fun

Robin & Batman: i love introspection and this whole comic is just Dick Grayson introspection. The way it covers Dick's emotional state post his parents death and how Bruce didn't really know how to help Dick outside of guiding him in channeling his grief into being a vigilante makes me insane...also the alfred characterization in this...the implication that he thinks he made the wrong choice by enabling Bruce and wanting to rectify that by not enabling Dick...

Spider-Gwen (2015): The art and concept is what drew me into this comic. I've been a spiderman fan since I was a little kid and the idea of gwen stacy being the spider person...AND SHE WAS A DANCER.. i was hooked. I love gwen as a character on a meta level and in general; she's my girl

Convergence Batgirl: listen...the implications this comic has about steph and cass's relationship...the "what do my eye's say" scene...lovers. teeny tiny baby run but im still counting it as a comic

...Is it cheating to say Young Justice 98? Imma say Young Justice 98: it was a gateway to me finding a bunch of characters that are now my faves. It shines a spotlight on characters we don't see all that often (like Cissie, Cassie, Anita--girl i miss you) I think about this comic constantly

Tea Dragon Society: another graphic novel! this is a comfort read for me! it's cozy it's sapphic it's a low-stakes

Batman/Huntress Cry for Blood: again this feels like kind of cheating BUT its my list so this is what I'm going with. This was my introduction to Helena and omg the feelings i have about her because of this comic...she makes me bonkers...the things i'd do for this woman

Bonus: JLI (i have not ever finished this one but i've started it many times and i love it i just need to actually finish it)

[farmerlesbian]

hey im following up on your "lesbians and genderweird people" post.

do you also include people that are men as a part of their multi-gender expression? say a bigender person that is a woman and a man at once?

idk im probably thinking about it too hard but im just trying to wrap my head around it. just looking for straight (hah) answers about specifics. which i also see is a little futile cause gender is weird.

sorry if this line of questioning is uncomfortable to you.

anw i hope you have a good time and happy pride

thank you for actually asking haha instead of just jumping to big sweeping conclusions! 😅🥴

also happy pride! 🌈🧡💜

honestly i don’t know any bi-gender people! at least i don’t think i do haha i don’t ask every person i meet the details of their gender. so i don’t feel comfortable making any claims about them especially big sweeping claims.

to me, i cannot envision being comfortable being into someone that is aligned with manhood, in whatever way or terms they choose to use. for me, if I was, I would need to seriously consider whether the label Lesbian is accurate for me.

I think if someone is encountering this in their relationship, they should navigate it on an interpersonal level. by that I mean, figure out the labels and how to handle it as an individual for yourself and with the bi-gender or multi-gender person. Instead of on a like macro level “let’s define what Lesbian means” sort of deal.

I don’t believe that when talking about “Lesbianism can include attraction to nonbinary people” I am saying every nonbinary person. I’m saying it can include some nonbinary people. those who are cool with it and it makes sense for! not every person is gonna be okay with it, or does it make sense for, of course. nonbinary or genderweird or whatever term, they are very broad umbrellas and describe a wide variety of gender experiences.

It’s also important to keep in mind that people can describe their experiences for themselves. Different people are going to define their labels in different ways, sometimes in ways we disagree with. It’s important to be able to differentiate someone describing their own experience and defining things for themselves and defining a term broadly for everyone. And I mean this when seeing what other people are saying and also to keep in mind for oneself.

Hope this answers what you were asking and is helpful and makes sense! Also, remember that this is just my opinion and my position. I’m not like declaring this as a universal truth, I’m not the president of the lesbians lol. different lesbians will define their lesbianism for themselves. I can handle that even if I vehemently disagree lol

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi! its incredible/intrusive tjoughts anon. honestly its nothing serious i just want advice lol.

so basically i identify as pan(tomantic) and non binary (transmasc).

basically i have this cousin who im REALLY close eith since shes the only family close to my age (we have a year differencs)

basically i do live in a very homophobic place, as i think ive said before but i think that she might be queer (bi specifically)

and here are my proofs:

1) the subtle one being, when its just the both if us watching something all she points out is how beautiful/amazing/gorgeous wtc the women look. nothing abt the guys. (not that im complaining cz women serious do slay)

i know that she also likes men because i remember watching this scene with her and one other cousin where the guy (wesrung a ehite) shirt fell into the water and was coming out (of the water).

me, personally, i was disgusted and i thiught my cousins would share the same opinions. nope. they rewatched the scene twice i think, their eyes were glued onto the screen ans they were both red.

2) the second one being, as ive mentioned before, i am a religious person qnd so is she. but we have this tradition where we go onto the roof and just talk about stuff we normally would never talk about. we basically kid of vent to each other too.

and there we've talked alot about queer people, and being a religious queer person and its clear that our views on the topic are very similar.

(i never bring up queer people bcz im scared of giving myself up, and usually people do not go around asking others abt their opinion on them. and yeah i feel like she was relieved when i explaijed that the last thing i wanted was for them to die)

niw into the veey obvious tells:

3) my cousin and i were bored so i took out markers and we decided to draw on my leg (dont ask me how we decided that that was the best thing to do.) but basically out if everything she couldve drawn, she drew the rainbkw but as a bi flag.

i saw it and when i pointed it out, she kind of looked panicked? so i just left it.

4) this one is like glaringly obvious tell. basically obv everyone knows, the tt algorithm works overtime and honestly i rarely get anything im not interested in.

so me, obv i have short hair, and when im sleeping/when im alone with other women you could easily tell that wtv is happening is not straight cis shit.

but basically i was changing so i just shed off my outer layer, underneath i was wearing this like sleeveless sweater and i had tracksuit bottoms underneath. my hair was oulled back in a half bun.

tell me why she says oh you look like thise masc lesbians in my tiktok fyp.

like FIRSTLY what are the masc lesbians doing on ur feed?? how have you watched them eniugh to know the specific terms??

basically idk if im maybe reading inti this but sometimes i genuinely feel like im going mad and i want to kind of come out ti someone irl cz i litr need someoen to see me, and recognize my efforts.

so. i just need advice, cz she knows quite alit if the terms as well, and ive noticed that homophobic people usually do not. (e.g. my brother does not know anthign other than gay and lesbian and queer cz he likes to throw them out as insukts)

but she does know, not all, but quite a few. (i only know nearky all cz for a while my obsession, idk what people call thus but basically i become obsessed with a tooic, research alot about it and then just leave it?. was like all the different types of labels and which umbrellas they fall under. so ive done alot of research on this matter which actually freaks alot of people out)

ive just realised i actually ramble alot so thankyou for making it this far lol

(also i just got hiccups wriitng this and theyre OISSING ME KFF)

Hi!

I feel like it's a pretty good assumption that your cousin is open-minded. I think it might be a good idea, next time you guys are having a rooftop conversation, to bring up queer people you know. Celebrities, mutual friends, etc. Ask her how she feels about those people. If she's cool with it, that's a good signal that you can come out.

Also think about- if you've told her other secrets, has she told other people? If not, then you can trust her with something like this.

As far as your cousin's sexuality- I'm not sure if you're reading into it. But remember, even if you come out to her, she might not return the gesture even if she IS queer. She might not be ready, and that's okay! Just continue to be a safe space for her no matter who she likes.

[sexynetra]

A bit random, but I'm really curious... how did find out you were a lesbian? Because I'm trying to find out about myself (I'm a girl) and the only thing I'm sure is that there are people that attract me and people that don't... not necessarily related to gender.

Omg hi darling!

I wish there was some sort of shortcut to figuring out sexuality but unfortunately it’s a lot of trial and error in my experience.

When I first came out over a decade ago, I identified as pansexual, and I liked that label for a few years. I was like. Maybe 12 or 13 at most and honestly didn’t even fully understand what attraction felt like. That morphed to queer eventually because I didn’t really know how to describe what I was feeling or what my experience was, but I knew it fell under the umbrella.

Probably 4-5 years ago I started… dipping my toe into lesbian identity? Before that all I had in terms of calling myself a lesbian was crying to my friends that I might be a lesbian every time I had mediocre sex with a guy, but i didn’t for real start considering it until later. I honestly started so small, like using lesbian flag backgrounds whenever I made a picrew or making lesbian jokes around online friends, which morphed into lesbian jokes with real life friends.

It was kind of a slow progression but I essentially lived my life as a lesbian, made jokes about being a lesbian, continued to use lesbian imagery online, but kept calling myself queer because for some reason I was scared to take the plunge 😂

Anyways long story short, I kind of fell into my full true lesbian identity by accident, my friends (who knew my family was super accepting and that I was out to them) started making lesbian jokes about me around my parents and at one point my best friend told my mom that Im lesbian (I was out to her as queer, but not lesbian). If I wasn’t me that would have been very bad, but my parents are wonderful incredible amazing Allies and I found it extraordinarily funny, but also it helped me finally get over that last invisible hurdle I had with calling myself a lesbian.

Anyways I’m very lucky to live in a super open accepting community, have super supportive family and friends (and lovely elder lesbian aunts who I would kill for), and not really have any major risks (for the most part) to being openly lesbian where I live, but it still took me MANY years and many labels to accept and embrace myself.

Anyways that’s a super long winded answer and life story you fully didn’t ask for, but in my experience, trying to force yourself to fit into a label doesn’t work out, and just letting yourself exist and like what you like and not worry so much about the “correct” language is going to make you happier in the long run! You may be lesbian, you may not, honestly I recommend trying calling yourself a lesbian in online conversations, putting the lesbian flag on picrews if those are still a thing, just small easy things to see how it feels and if it feels right.

Plus, there’s no one way to be a lesbian! Gender and sexuality and attraction are waaaaay too complex to box things in so narrowly, don’t let the chronically online people tell you you’re doing it “wrong”

Anyways I love you, I hope you have a smooth journey discovering yourself, and my DM’s are always open if you need anything at all. Nothing means more to me than helping other queer people embrace themselves and blossom!!!

[yomiurinikei]

rei mekaru (shocker i know)

we r ginger liker solidarity.... yuuki/yuki likers and rei likers need to come together and be allied...

~*~

My identity hc for them

oh shit tumblr is auto formatting in bullet points thats fun. uhhh w/rei i pretty much like any combination of ace/aro spec + lesbian. 100% lesbian rei? aro lesbian rei? aroace rei? all epic all amazing. i started hc'ing this back in like.. vv early sdra days. and i think its just part of who i am now... i think she doesnt really experience much attraction in general and has a bit of a hard time labeling how she feels because. of her general emotional trauma. so tbh i can see her kinda rotating through labels? i think she keeps it very to her self tho. she doesn't like people assuming she's cishet but she also doesn't want to come out as straightn't, so she just snaps at people who try and drag her into convos about identity.

similarly i think she struggles with really.. going "wow this is so me this is exactly what i am" when it comes to gender identity. i think she's very.. "well im Definitely not a guy, and i dont think im anything else, so..." ie, she's more prone to defining herself by what she isn't than what she is. which is perfectly okay!!! i don't think she'd consider herself trans, but she may occasionally like the label genderqueer. (yes i know that trans people r anyone who's gender deviates from what they were told they should be, but while it is an umbrella term, people can decide if they like it for themselves a lot! and i don't think rei would really like any label other than "idk man its weird", which she likes to use on/off) again tho i dont think she's very into sharing that with people, at least as a teen.

Thoughts on their home life/family

im so curious what her time was like when she was all alone??? i think that's something thats fairly unexplored, is her time between her parents not being able to care for her, and her becoming self-sufficient. ultimately i dont have much to say here, i like how linuj handled her backstory, i just think it wouldve been cool to see more of it, not that there was any good place to write it in, but i love bonus modes and would like to see maybe how the dra survivors coped w/what they learned in the sixth trial in a bonus mode about how the kisa foundation became what it is now.

How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

mmm... tbh. i like rei, i think her growth from dra to sdra2 was handled well- she still feels like rei, while also serving her narrative role- ie. there's not much you can do when shawty gets exploded in the prologue and then has to play second fiddle to tsurugis viola of fucking evil. sadly, we can't do much with the kisa foundation and showing how rei and tsurugi have changed and have the pacing of the chapter still be intact, when we see rei, its mostly just her being voice of reason because someone has to give exposition on what the foundation knows while tsurugi has a meltdown. i think her development feels authentic and natural, if she maybe feels a biiit.. i dont know how to word it, but she almost feels a bit too calm? less snarky at points than i'd think she'd be, and than what i'd like to see. but again, we can explain that as being due to the role she has to play for the story.

ultimately, while not necessarily my cup of tea, i'm just not prone to latching onto characters like rei a whole lot! i def think she's handled well, oddly well for linuj in general, and v oddly well for a female character written by linuj. i like her, im just not brain rotted about her

The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

hmmmmm... im not gonna lie i can't really think of anything? after thinking about it while i typed up. essentially the whole rest of this post, i think it'd be cool if she and kabuya were friends after sdra2. yuuki is... .... ..........lets not talk about what hes up to, syobai and iroha are just a whole fucking mess. theyre a bit busy dealing with heads in boxes. and tsurugi is just sooo normal he's too normal really.

so i think they could meet and chat about how Fucking Insane the games were, in a way that other kg survivors wouldnt get, since they didnt have to deal with divine luck and what it does to people. also seeing as akane saved rei in dra and then. ya know. Soruko. i think that'd be a interesting convo for them to have, both kinda understanding more about akane taira. i think that'd be really neat!

My number one favorite ship for them

hm.... reikako by default of i dont think much about rei ships, and they have a significant amount of canon material. i do wonder though what their relationship was like pre-despair, it feels like a lot of the school life info we have is on utsuro or tsurugi? buuut yeah. also as kinda established i think rei is uncertain where she stands on attraction/her thoughts change a lot and. yeah. so this is less a romantic thing and moreso i want inside linujs brain so i can know what he thinks except he like. officially has stated he doesnt know shit abt sdra anymore which is SO UPSETTING

…Now everyone else i ship with them

i think rei/kizuna/kiyoka could be cute!!! also i kinda just like giving akane gfs, and i don't really think they'd be that compatible, but i think if they had a weird little queercoded friendship for like. the duration of one year during their stay at hpa, and it leaves akane feeling more confident and comfortable with herself as her own person, and leaves rei with a LOT of questions, while they also never really cross the line between friends and something more, that'd be cool and fun. just normal gals being pals things.

The thing i will NEVER ship

im so sorry. 2020 sdrainsta has made me incapable of terurei propaganda. i support people who ship it as a matter of fact im so glad we r now in a place where people can ship it or not ship it and everyone can just be fine and happy. but i dont think ill ever be able to see the vision.

a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

i wish in sdra2 we saw more on the dynamic that grew between rei and mikako in dra. i think it'd be cool to see that discussed a bit more seeing how it was. mikakos in game memories that formed the basis for sora iirc.

thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

mmm...... why the fuck did linuj use so much blue in the dra cast color palettes... i remember i had this dentist appointment that was really evil and like. literal hours longer than it was supposed to be, and to try and distract myself i went through the cast and counted who had blue in their design and who didnt. it took a long time because i was in so so so much pain but like. iirc its just mikako akane and yuki. and also mikako wears blue in ch4. so. THATS NOT RELEVANT THOUGH.

uhhhh. im not a huge fan of her outfit just because i dont like the skirt. her og design was a school uniform and i think it kinda shows and im not a huge fan of it? my brain keeps getting mixed up on the length of her skirt but yeah. its just so vibrant and pigmented and so is her hair and its like. the lower half of her fit just feels so high school uniform and i dont really like it. i think her hair is super cute in the bonus sketch (the just-woke-up one) on her character sheet tho.

i also don't really like her fit in sdra2. i think the labcoat is super nice (i like the ombre effect it looks good) and while its not too practical i dont hate the vest short skirt tights combo. but im not a fan of the color palette, its just so dark, so u have her bright hair and the bright coat, but the dark grey and black, in vertical stripes just kinda dominates it in my brain. and i don't really like it? i really dont like the grey with her hair.

she is very pretty. but im not a fan of the fits linuj puts her into

A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

hmmm.. this is a very foreign concept to me but i dont think reis huge on music. i think for the most part she listens to songs she has memories associated with- she doesn't seem huge on the arts or. ya know. emotional connection? so i think while she wouldn't really vibe with anything particular of her own accord, listening to music which was playing when something emotional happened to her both improves the music, and also. helps her with being in touch with her emotions and letting herself feel. if that makes sense?

[aroacemisha]

if it's alright with you, could you elaborate your sexuality hcs on willow? not trying to be rude or anything, but i can't say im familiar with some of the labels you used for her! and google isn't very reliable

Sure! I'll list most of them just in case, since you didn't specify which ones.

Oriented aroace: An aroace individual who experiences a form of tertiary attraction that they feel is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation.

The tertiary attraction can be anything (platonic, sensual, aesthetic, alterous, queerplatonic, etc), and in my headcanon for Willow it's queerplatonic attraction.

Queerplatonic relationship: The best explanation for it is that platonic and romantic are like the gender binary, and queerplatonic is like non-binary genders. Some are somewhere in between the binary options, some are both, and some are neither/completely outside the binary. Some can't or choose not to define what exactly their gender or relationship is (or is similar to). It's meant to queer the idea of what a relationship is supposed to be, so there are no rules, the individuals involved decide what the relationship is like.

Queerplatonic attraction is the desire to be in a QPR with someone in particular.

Abro: Refers to someone whose orientation is changing or fluid. Someone may change between mono (gay, lesbian, etc) and multi (bi, pan, etc) orientations, between being allo and being on the a-spectrum of the given type of attraction, etc. The gender(s) one is attracted to typically change, and the intensity of attraction or the way one feels attraction may change as well. Some abro individuals may be fluid between all or a large range of orientations, while others may only be fluid between a few.

My headcanon for Willow is that her queerplatonic attraction changes between pan and lesbian. Sometimes she's pan, sometimes a lesbian.

(Pan and lesbian don't need to be explained separately, but I'll add an explanation for the combined label)

Pan-lesbian: This label can be used for multiple reasons, such as using "lesbian" as an umbrella term (which it originally was), using the Split Attraction Model (being homoromantic pansexual, panromantic homosexual, or experiencing pan and/or lesbian tertiary attraction), being a pan person who prefers non-men, or having changing/fluctuating attraction.

In the case of my Willow headcanon, it's the last one.

Ambiamorous: Someone who is able to enjoy both monoamorous and polyamorous relationships, with little to no preference between the two.

I hope this explains it!

[transmascore]

i feel like im going insane. i have literally, literally, identified as everything in the lgbtq+ acronym. literally every single thing. ive "come out" as every sexuality, claimed i was every gender, and yet i still feel like im wrong. im so tired of not knowing who i am. i feel like a fraud and a fake, like an idiot for not knowing who i was when i was like 3 and just stucking with it forever. i wish i was just normal. do you have any advice for figuring it out?

I understand the frustration. It can be scary to not know who you are, and to want to have a definite answer - to have closure. Identity is a complex thing. 

My own understanding of myself has changed over time. From identifying as a woman, to nonbinary, to a man. From woman-leaning pansexual to gay. From feminine to masculine to feminine again. From using one set of pronouns to another, and then another. I've absolutely felt that imposter syndrome and that need to pin myself down as something specific. To know myself fully and feel stable in my identity. 

I don't want to claim that identity is fluid for everyone - there are people out there that find themselves day one and little changes for them. But I will say that, in general, part of life is that people are always changing. One's understanding of oneself evolves over time. We're not the same person at 30 as we were at 20, as we were at 15. I resent the notion of "a phase" as it's often used dismissively, and that's used to invalidate a person's identity and experiences. I don't really believe in "phases" so much as "this point in time is part of my journey."

When I said I was nonbinary at 17, that wasn't a lie. It wasn't a phase; it wasn't me faking anything. It was who I was at that time, my authentic self. Just as 10 years later, me living as a man is my authentic self. And in neither scenario am I taking up unnecessary space.  I understood myself as being attracted to women for most of my life, and that was my understanding of myself then. Now I'm a Kinsey 7.

My biggest piece of advice is to go with the ebb and flow, and not to beat yourself up about it. A big part of the queer journey, for most people I'd say, is to keep exploring until you find what sticks. What feels right to you in the here and now? What makes you feel happy and at peace with yourself? If you find yourself at a loss for an answer, that's okay. You don't need to have one. You can exist as you are without labeling it (unlabeled), or by using an umbrella term to signify that you're LGBT without getting into specifics (such as queer or genderqueer). 

There's also terminology out there, neologisms, that describe people whose understanding of their own sexuality and gender are in flux - like abrosexual and genderfluid. Because you're far from alone. Many people cycle through the acronym and aren't quite sure where they belong. Even if those specific words don't necessarily click with you, I recommend looking into their communities and speaking to the people in them. You may find answers and make friends with people in a similar situation.

Ultimately: You cannot be a fraud when it comes to your own gender and sexuality. If you come out as a lesbian one day and a gay man the next and a bisexual that afternoon - there's nothing wrong with that. You are you, whatever your understanding of the situation is at the time. 

Good luck on your journey, and take it one step at a time. Go easy on yourself. And if you can, do something nice for yourself today. Treat yourself! Figuring out who you are is hard work. ❤️

[phregnancy]

this is so random but the “gay as an umbrella term” discourse always reminds me of the worst discourse I have experienced online, when on a niche social media site with a lot of gay teens a group of people got attacked for saying that lesbians could call themselves gay. basically the people who disagreed with this maintained that ONLY non women attracted to non women could use the label “gay” and that it was under no circumstances an umbrella term. it was a brutal battle amongst a bunch of dumb teenagers trying to police each other. Then the website exploded over a year later. ANYWAY- I hate all label politics and if someone says they are gay there’s no reason to speculate further honestly. Dan’s video is titled “basically im gay.” Whatever nuance or fluidity he feels about his own sexuality is his own business to work out not ours. In the meantime I have no problem saying he’s gay because that’s what he himself calls himself.

god that makes me think of all the tumblr discourse i witnessed as a teen. i’ll never understand why people need to police how others identify when they’re not hurting anyone, just respect them and carry on with your life it really is not that hard