#and the labels are sooooo fluid and so complex

[sexynetra]

A bit random, but I'm really curious... how did find out you were a lesbian? Because I'm trying to find out about myself (I'm a girl) and the only thing I'm sure is that there are people that attract me and people that don't... not necessarily related to gender.

Omg hi darling!

I wish there was some sort of shortcut to figuring out sexuality but unfortunately it’s a lot of trial and error in my experience.

When I first came out over a decade ago, I identified as pansexual, and I liked that label for a few years. I was like. Maybe 12 or 13 at most and honestly didn’t even fully understand what attraction felt like. That morphed to queer eventually because I didn’t really know how to describe what I was feeling or what my experience was, but I knew it fell under the umbrella.

Probably 4-5 years ago I started… dipping my toe into lesbian identity? Before that all I had in terms of calling myself a lesbian was crying to my friends that I might be a lesbian every time I had mediocre sex with a guy, but i didn’t for real start considering it until later. I honestly started so small, like using lesbian flag backgrounds whenever I made a picrew or making lesbian jokes around online friends, which morphed into lesbian jokes with real life friends.

It was kind of a slow progression but I essentially lived my life as a lesbian, made jokes about being a lesbian, continued to use lesbian imagery online, but kept calling myself queer because for some reason I was scared to take the plunge 😂

Anyways long story short, I kind of fell into my full true lesbian identity by accident, my friends (who knew my family was super accepting and that I was out to them) started making lesbian jokes about me around my parents and at one point my best friend told my mom that Im lesbian (I was out to her as queer, but not lesbian). If I wasn’t me that would have been very bad, but my parents are wonderful incredible amazing Allies and I found it extraordinarily funny, but also it helped me finally get over that last invisible hurdle I had with calling myself a lesbian.

Anyways I’m very lucky to live in a super open accepting community, have super supportive family and friends (and lovely elder lesbian aunts who I would kill for), and not really have any major risks (for the most part) to being openly lesbian where I live, but it still took me MANY years and many labels to accept and embrace myself.

Anyways that’s a super long winded answer and life story you fully didn’t ask for, but in my experience, trying to force yourself to fit into a label doesn’t work out, and just letting yourself exist and like what you like and not worry so much about the “correct” language is going to make you happier in the long run! You may be lesbian, you may not, honestly I recommend trying calling yourself a lesbian in online conversations, putting the lesbian flag on picrews if those are still a thing, just small easy things to see how it feels and if it feels right.

Plus, there’s no one way to be a lesbian! Gender and sexuality and attraction are waaaaay too complex to box things in so narrowly, don’t let the chronically online people tell you you’re doing it “wrong”

Anyways I love you, I hope you have a smooth journey discovering yourself, and my DM’s are always open if you need anything at all. Nothing means more to me than helping other queer people embrace themselves and blossom!!!

[devilsadvcate]

i just looked over my pinterest boards and realized some huge things about myself.

1. i love pale/pastel grunge/goth.

2. i think i know myself better than i ever have

3. im not ashamed of embodying my complexity and weirdness anymore

4. i love my interests and i love how deeply i love things

5. i am such a devoted and fucking insanely passionate lover. seriously theres hardly anything i can put into words to elaborate on this one. my pinterest board for love is just. it just is. it just is man. scorpio venus and mars (yes, u read that right: AND!!! SCORPIO VENUS AND SCORPIO MARS CONJUNCT IN THE 7TH HOUSE)

6. confidence, self love, and shameless expression of self doesnt seem embarrassing anymore. in fact i feel so empowered by how nuanced i am bc i know that there is so much value in variety and its freeing to explore my own humanity. i just love to find little human things about myself and others and foster love for these things. i know love exists because i am full of it!

7. my major natal placements (libra moon, taurus rising, scorpio venus, scorpio mars) make up probably the entirety of my being while simultaneously being maybe the least recognizable traits about me, and its a MISSION of mine to make that known and seen and felt by anyone who gets to know me! im sooooo venus ruled! and my passions and depth and sensuality are sooooooooooo pluto

8. im such a fluid person. so fluid in every way. even my gender fluid (except idk if i would label it as genderfluid. still working on that one. you’ll see what i mean soon.)

9. i have felt very comfortable in my identity as a nonbinary person for some time now (Now you see) but im considering the possibility that perhaps my hesitancy or aversion to identifying with femininity has been influenced by internalized misogyny. YIKES!

10. i am so worth loving! so worth it. i think i am genuinely just a refreshing and lovely person. so well rounded and so eager to learn more always and i really enjoy that about myself.