#not just because how would i choose but because bobo would never while still believing she could get home

[axvwriter]

Random Late Night Rambling

Do any of you think Neige would be the type to fall in love with someone who doesn’t go crazy over him? Like the trope of super popular person pines for the person who doesn’t know them/isn’t impressed/hates them?

I think it would be funny to have Neige develop a crush on Bobo, someone who holds a grudge against him for winning VDC but can’t bring herself to act outright nasty to him because he’s so genuinely nice.

I just have the idea of Neige running into Bobo on her birthday or well a day she’s able to celebrate her birthday in her own way on. Usually she spends her birthdays alone, but I bet her NRC friends wouldn’t allow that. So she agrees to party with them and takes the next available weekend for herself.

She does what she usually does, leave home to explore and find a safe spot to be alone. Bobo finds a secluded spot on Sage Island’s beach. She tries to settle down and get lost in her thoughts but is interrupted by Neige. Neige who’s trying to avoid fans. Why? Because even as grateful as he is for having fans, had just wanted to spend some time enjoying the island.

So he finds Bobo by herself just as he’s escaped a rowdy group of fans. Bobo recognizes him and instantly her mood sours. She wanted to be alone, but she can distantly hear people asking where Neige went. Bobo doesn’t greet him, trying to decide what to do.

Then Neige apologizes. Saying he didn’t mean to disrupt her. He even asks if he could join her, which causes Bobo to stand up. Bobo tells him he can have the spot and goes to find another secluded area. Neige tries to protest, worrying she feels forced to leave.

“You want to be alone, don’t you?” Bobo cuts him off. “I want to be alone. I have fun finding new spots anyway.” She corrects herself, leaving. She understands how overwhelming it can get to give crowds wanting your attention. Even if you’re grateful that the crowds love you.

Neige misinterprets Bobo’s selfish desire to get away and not have to interact with him in any way as Bobo being kind and understanding towards him. Thus he develops a crush.

Oh imagine Neige trying to visit NRC to see Bobo just to have Rook plastered to his side. I bet Rook could sense him approaching the campus. Though while Rook may actually observe from a distance, Bobo’s texting him to run interference.

Poor Neige wants to get to know the Ramshackle Prefect but instead keeps having to entertain Pomefiore’s Vice Housewarden. I want to think Neige would be a bit of a doormat and be unable to bring himself to ask Rook to leave.

Poor Neige who whenever he tries to see Bobo, she suddenly has plans. Whether those plans be to garden with Jade, which she refuses to let anyone else join. Or she has to go to an unbirthday party and she keeps forgetting to ask if she can bring guests. Or Bobo is meeting with the Savanaclaw Housewarden in the botonacial garden.

Then perhaps rip Bobo, Rook has betrayed his loyalty to NRC again to trick her onto a date with Neige. Instead of Rook being at there usual tea meetup spot where Bobo fills Rook’s insatiable curiosity about her and her world, Neige is there. Looking innocently confused because Rook tricked him there too.

Oh how Bobo is going to hunt Rook down after this. Oh wait she can’t leave because Rook has joined them. Rook will keep Bobo from leaving and Neige’s niceness will keep Bobo from actually being mean. Why does he have to be nice and not fake?! Bobo hates this. Neige now thinks she’s shy.

Neige asks Bobo over to RSA and now she’s torn. She likes seeing new places. Bobo doesn’t want to go alone though as she will likely be given a tour by Neige.

Oh what if I had Bobo meet all of the main villain boys’ rivals in RSA? What if twst Hercules name is Chad? How many of them are hopeless romantics and would it be funny if all of them fell for her? All she did was restrain herself from scoffing and talking trash because she’s feeling rather petty against all of RSA. Yet they all think she’s reserved and shy.

Quick roll call of main villains and heroes

Queen of Hearts - Alice

Scar - Simba

Ursula - Ariel

Jafar - Alladin

Evil Queen - Snow White

Hades - Hercules

Maleficint - Aurora

Uhmm out of those the hopeless romantics may be Ariel, Snow White, Aurora…. Would Alladdin and Hercules count? Gah I need to rewatch stuff and take notes.

Anyways imagine RSA boys thinking they’re Bobo’s friends after one meeting. NRC boys are not happy with all the RSA students coming by to try seeing the Ramshackle Prefect. Bobo can’t use studying as an excuse not to see them as they’d all offer to help.

Though how satisfied and/or surprised would the NRC boys be to witness Bobo telling all the RSA boys to their faces that she doesn’t see them as friends, has no interest in being friends, and wants them all to stop dropping by.

When push comes to shove, Bobo will stare impassively into those broken faces. They’re nice but that’s not enough to make Bobo feel strong-armed into keeping up niceties with them.

Though would RSA even have an aurora-like considering that’s basically Silver?

[tcm]

My Time with Doris Day: An Interview with Mary Anne Barothy By Constance Cherise

In 2012, Robert Osborne interviewed a spry 90-year-old, Doris Day. He, of course, asked all the correct questions a true Day fan would be curious about: when she realized she could sing, how her career in film began and did she consider her serendipitous life to be destiny. A vibrant and gracious Day revealed that she wasn’t nervous when it came to performing, and if you have seen her first film ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS (‘48), her organic ease fits like the exact correct puzzle piece. 

Although she passed almost two years ago, fans the world over still celebrate her iconic status. One of those fans is a public speaker on all things Doris, author of Day at a Time: An Indiana Girl's Sentimental Journey to Doris Day's Hollywood and Beyond, Mary Anne Barothy. Her fortune ironically played out like a classic Hollywood script, much like the beginnings of Day’s career. A devotee of Day since childhood, threads of fate connected and Barothy would find herself rubbing shoulders with Hollywood's elite, astonishingly becoming Day’s live-in secretary, maintaining an active friendship from 1967-1974. 

What was a typical day with Doris like?

Mary Anne Barothy: I lived with Doris in her Beverly Hills home after her TV show [The Doris Day Show] filming ended - December 1972 and ran through June of 1973 on CBS. Her bedroom was just opposite mine in the back. Mine was the front bedroom. She slept with seven of her dogs, and I slept with the other four – Bobo, Charlie, Rudy and Schatzie. She would get up and come into the kitchen where I often fixed her breakfast. Doris loved her dogs and spent time playing with them both indoors and out. Many days she would get ready and bike down to Nate 'N Al's Deli for a late breakfast and many times would meet someone, or we would go together for breakfast. Doris loved her fans, and she was very good about answering her fan mail. 

As you know, her passion was animal welfare and she kept up with Actors & Others for Animals and frequently attended board meetings. I went with her and was also a proud member of Actors & Others for Animals. In the summer she would swim in her pool on occasion. She would call friends and once in a while meet someone for lunch or dinner. After dinner, sometimes we would sit in one section of her living room and watch the news. Doris was very down to earth; as I said, she was like a big sister to me. To me, this was an incredible dream come true! It is still hard to believe that I had this awesome opportunity to spend precious time with my idol, Doris Day!

The designer Irene dressed her in high fashion. Did she have a favorite costume/gown?

MB: She never spoke about that, but she looked good in a bathrobe. She just had a way of radiating, looking beautiful no matter what she had on. She always said CALAMITY JANE [‘53] was her favorite movie because she was kind of a tomboy. She never came across that way except for in movies, but she liked to be comfortable. She would ride her bike with shorts on and look very casual and comfortable. I always told her she could put on a paper bag and look good! 

Now that she's passed, what would she want the world to know about her if anything?

MB: She was a down to earth person and I think some people think celebrity is high and mighty because they are in the movies, and I'd say a religious person without talking about church all the time. She had a passion for animal welfare and that was very important to her and she'd been that way apparently since she was a young person. She just enjoyed life and her friends. She wasn't one for “I've got to be seen here and I've got to do this.” Her work was her work, she'd go to the studio to do what she had to do and that was it. 

Your book recounts so many extraordinary memories including that of a conversation with Elvis. If you had to choose one pinch-me moment, what would it be?

MB: When Doris called me and asked me to come work with her. The Christmas she invited me to stay. The fact that she trusted me was so special.

What was it like waking up in your idol’s home walking outside of your room and thinking I live here now?

MB: It was surreal because I wasn't just staying a night or two, I’m staying here to the fact that I changed my address over. It was all like a movie. Here I am, actually living with her! It was meant to be. She was like a big sister. She made me feel welcome.

Do you have any memorabilia? 

MB: I have some clothes she gave me. My favorite one is the hat she wore when she met me. She gave it to me and then another hat from a movie, a skirt, and top from THE GLASS BOTTOM BOAT [1966]. She gave me a ring and an autographed Christian Science book, and that is special. I’ve got many letters and cards she gave me over the years. (Barothy reads a card) “Thanks for doing your own Christmas shopping. I love you Mairzy Doats, you’re the best there is! Always, your friend Clara.” And on the other side, it says, “Merry Christmas from the kids too!” – the dogs. “Mairzy Doats,” she’d sing that once in a while. I’ve saved a lot of these things. Of course, when I do my talks, I use copies. 

What was Beverly Hills like then? 

MB: To me, Beverly Hills, when I lived with Doris Day in her home, was a much more  relaxed city, almost small townish. Doris could ride her bike from her home four blocks down to either Bailey's Bakery or the classic Beverly Hills deli, Nate N 'Al's on Beverly Drive. No paparazzi – that would never happen today. I would see Barbara Stanwyck and Fred Astaire at the Beverly Hills Post Office, saw Rosalind Russell at Ralph's grocery, and would see Loretta Young at Good Shepherd Catholic Church. People appeared to live pretty normal lives. Beverly Hills was a welcoming community and a fun place to be, especially since I was living with Doris in her home.

What would Doris think of the world today?

MB: I think Doris would be concerned about the direction we seem to be going in. Doris was a very religious person without going to church. I learned a lot from her. With people being out of work these days, I think Doris would be very concerned about the welfare of dogs and cats and all animals. As you know, she was a strong animal advocate and was one of the founders of Actors & Others for Animals. When she moved to Carmel, California, she started her own foundation, The Doris Day Animal Foundation, and animal welfare was her number one priority.

Looking back, does it seem like this all really happened to you?

MB: Yeah, it kinda seems surreal, and friends that are big Doris fans, just say, how did that happen? I just followed my dream and that is why when I give talks, I tell people to follow your dream, don't say oh I could have or I should have; if you really believe in something go for it. All I can say it was meant to be. I drove my parents crazy and drove my teachers crazy, but I got what I wanted. I never would have dreamed that all of this would happen. I mean talk about a dream come true...unreal! “It really happened, I'm not making it up, I’ve got pictures to prove it!”

What are your plans for the future?

MB: I look forward to getting back on the road again to share my “Dream Story With Doris Day” presentations. Due to the pandemic last year, I was not able to do them as people were in lock down. Now, things are opening up and I am doing Zoom but really prefer the in-person talks where I share many photos I've taken of Doris over the years, as well as scripts and other Doris Day memorabilia. It's a fun “sentimental journey.” People can contact me through my website. 

[incarnateirony]

Representation, Authorial Diversity, and more.

“I’ll take some beef jerky and a pack of menthols.”

Been a while since most of you thought about that line, hasn’t it? And for some of you it somehow sends some primitive lizard brain gaydar into overdrive and you can’t really pinpoint why, can you? It makes no sense, that line alone, and how it stands -- but between all of the talk of both Bobo Berens and LGBT media history, including The Celluloid Closet/Vito Russo or the Vito Russo Test, this moment actually puts a pin in a shift within our show, its handling of content formerly completely overlooked by creatives, and the importance of diversifying our writing crews that we all press for.

It was the moment our show leaned, and frankly-- should have been the moment the straights panicked. In fact, some of them did, just before it aired, and then everyone has played at oblivious since.

Before seasons air, we get news on new authors being added to teams, or other workers. Pre-S9 was no different, with fandom finding a tweet from Bobo Berens, our first open-closet LGBT author. I mean, Out And Proud. A true king.

The association if this is the mention of the Bechdel Test, a step aside of Vito Russo.

Now let us begin.

Well first of all I’m just gonna let everyone get a giggle at how Bobo handled the straight male knee coil:

But anyway the response to his initial tweet was a merry go round of concern trolling in the area of “OH DEAR I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU PLEASE ALLOW US THE NORMAL ASSBAGS OF THE FANDOM TO TELL YOU AN AUTHOR HOW STRAIGHT THE CHARACTERS ON THE SHOW YOU’RE WRITING FOR ARE” and I dunno, it’s comedy.

Whether or not Bobo was addressing SPN as a new project in particular -- and it, from a dark age of SPN I’ve covered the upheaval during -- this is important. Really, really important.

Let’s say that timeline does overlap Bobo’s, and he did implicitly believe it; he might have had to write them as Straight Guys; but his own deep-seated place in the LGBT community developed resonant text, he made change. Change enough that when his first script was put into motion, the showrunner took one look at it and, for the first time in recorded history, we had note of some sort of intent --

Misha went on to say “so that’s what we played there.”

Regardless of anyone’s misunderstanding about how the fandom riled themselves up prematurely and shot themselves in the foot by lighting a CW exec on fire in the middle of network level board/CEO rotation commotion, or whether or not it’s visible enough for anyone--

this, this moment, this content, created by this LGBT individual led to this first known forward motion of intentful creative subtext. People can hilariously try to argue semantics about it that summarily boil down to “I mean it could be metaphorical jilted lovers it could be this it could be jilted lover bros, it’s just a turn of phrase!” in a loop as they’ve done with this data for six years until it dies every time, but this was it. This was the moment.

There is a nuance in this sort of writing -- how easy would it be for Dean to come up and say, “I’ll take some beef jerky.” Dean’s the meat man, Dean loves meat! We’ve seen it in other, new, straight authors the first time they try to tick off the Dean checklist, but like many lessons, that extra line leading into that smile holds volumes of LGBT history unspoken.

I think several of us Old Gays(TM) have banged on about the necessity of reading the Celluloid Closet, because for as much as people think they’re chasing queer subtext around here, it’s like they have completely missed that there actually is like, a printed, accepted code of conduct on this shit, basically. That’s not exactly what it was released for, but if you’re LGBT and engaged in lit and over 40 like you’ve read and understand and know this.

I’m not going to sit here and over-needle that line; most of you felt it the second your eyes drifted over it; but the sum of it is -- why that, what charming secret comes with that smile, a dean we’ve never seen smoke either, how is this part of how Dean throws himself back before his ex buddy leaves more unseen, *why* is that the hook? These are ironically things that no lit crit study *beyond* excessive citation of Celluloid Closet will really capture. This is a form of queer coding -- not the villainous disaster type that queer coding actually *is*, but the subversive form as it’s begun to be casually addressed in the population with positive, resonant content by authors choked out by IP holders while trying to service an audience. Or sometimes, even starting to accidentally.

So you know, you can unironically double down on the simplicity of Dean implicitly probably being a smoker (a possible read of subtext!), and I think this is kinda where the bizarre split happened tbh, because dude bros double down subconsciously into each reading of this kind of coding-- Dean just smokes, or this or that, though it grows thinner by year. Not about why that line is tossed, and how, and does just set off some sort of TV pheremone we all swamp like a bee hive. None of these moments truly mean anything independently. But it is the perspective and voice the text begins to take. The difference between that and “Hey pal [chews on jerky before buying] marlboros and got any pie?” in one moment that knocked everybody around on their ass in the fray of it. And then it all just went gayer from there, as if framed by one sharp moment that set the rest of the tone.

Hopefully you’ve all read my giant post about the history of this all to remember what I mean by accidentally, but even Bobo posted on it before,

That’s all an aside to the general point but worth placing into the edge of the conversation here.

The simple fact is, an activist gay man joined the show, and possibly with ‘keep it straight’ notes wrote some stuff so resonant, due to his point of view in life and the world, that even the showrunner decided to further guide it in that direction. It blossomed a direction.

The direction was small and slow and meek at first, (well, in final product -- don’t get me started at how S10 looks if all the cut scenes were included) with subtext running as dull echoes in Colette (oh look he wrote that too), and maybe more obvious with classic heart songs -- but even this was more structured than “Misha inherited abandoned storyline they scrubbed the romance out of as best they could”, or “Sera Gamble is a dumbass” that just happened to feature great chemistry and some resonant elements, like Bobo mentioned, we all connected with. But to actually constructively choose to incorporate these, no matter how quietly, was... *new.*

And some called it queerbait and I’ve already given history lessons from other angles on why no, but also now why here, definitely, no.

By season 12 we gained Yockey, another LGBT man, another activist in his own way like Bobo, but his less in writing political stuff and more in writing LGBT specialist plays. And everybody loved him, and saw it, and Yockey gets a boat load of praise -- deserves a lot of it -- but sometiems I feel like Bobo gets trampled over without recognition of how he shifted the playing field, the calculated effort he started putting into mastering those accidental resonances into something new, and ultimately to guiding the new author crew, Yockey included, or Jeremy on this newest episode who thanked him.

The same man that picked up Wayward and connected Dreamhunter... back to his own work and moments. The insanity of yelling “HOW DARE YOU LESSEN DREAMHUNTER BY COMPARING IT TO DESTIEL!” when, dead ass, you’re looking at this author who has carefully incorporated work and, with an already resonant story, made another relationship familiar to us by making it similar. Because that’s how writing stories works! But either way, Bobo has been in here doggedly growing the breadth of the legitimacy of queer narrative in supernatural -- to the point that it HAS narrowly, quietly breached into text even if not “loud” or “visible” enough for some people -- and the point where the subtext is so wall to wall and flooding every piece of cinematography in shooting and not just set or lights but complete mise en scene -- a point where everybody OUTSIDE of fandom is just addressing this shit as what it clearly is --

...That’s something that came with bringing the scope of an LGBT male author into the show. Whether you like the volume he’s been allowed to take his work to or not is your own thing, but before yelling queerbait at any creatives, perhaps it’s time to play “sit down children, and learn to appreciate the activists who came before you and how they’re fighting for you right now”. You wanna yell at something, get organized, pelt the CW in a non-aggressive, non-light-on-fire way, do activism like the books Emily put together that are resultingly still on the current showrunner’s desk now 6 years later, but most of all, don’t take a shit all over content you would otherwise enjoy, at the expense of a man in the demographic you’re trying to represent, who has battled, LITERALLY, for both the women and the gays in this show. Wayward was his baby. This slow swing in S9 that turned into a loud din in S12? 

It wasn’t magic. It was a gay author. A gay author that has now climbed to be an Exec alongside dabb and the others and SURPRISE now suddenly everything’s so gay the whole goddamn world is seeing it. Literally SEEING IT, not just guys looking at each other with stories, but intentful, meritful choice in extremely bold cinematography choices that don’t require chasing a post-it on the wall, but instead are shot with care and devotion. Be that 12.19 Mixtape (OH DAT HIS) or 13.5′s Never Too Late (OH DAT YOCKEY. check what antis said to Dabb in his mentions after, even they saw it). Be that 14.18′s het drama PR promo (OH OOP DAT WAS HIS), be that 15.1-3′s entire tension and the openly addressed and so-called by media sources break up (OH DAT HIS), be that 15.7′s low key textuality (to which the new author thanked the elder for guidance, huh), or 8′s heavily shot domestic separation moment loudly filmed in the choicefully hollowed out and dimmed kitchen bereft of family -- this change? This had a moment. And you can find it.

I’ll have some beef jerky and a pack of menthols.

So this has been eating at me ever since this whole topic came into play. 

Anyway full circle them trying to ride Bobo to Keep It Straight probably wasn’t their smartest idea ever. We gays are contrarian by nature so tell me to do it again, motherfucker. And now here we are in Destiel Divorce Season 15 as heavily managed by Bobo.

Everyone got so fuckin dramatic when Yockey said he was leaving like, tolling the burial bells of Destiel and-- like??? hello? BOBO? JUST? GOT? PROMOTED? Like Yockey didn’t make that entire platform all by himself, and hell, he didn’t leave without laying out unironic empty space of it. Yo guys, Berens done been here a WHILE to the point he’s now *callbacking his own season 9-10 material wtih him and dabb*. Like. Lmao. Guys. Guys listen. Listen. Think.

Whatever your weird goalpost is I’m not promising anybody’s anything is about to get hit. Whatever clown nose expectations you all have enjoy those and honk those loud and proud but remember most of those are yours. But respect the fact that Berens has essentially cornerstoned an entire queer canon within Supernatural discussion, of which others are included in as they joined.

And yes, queer canon. Not the way fandom throws it around for weird kissing spots, but articles of discussion of queer narratives, of which we can literally draw a wealth of episodes from LGBT authors or their understudies and literally point and go “all of that right there, officer.” Whether it’s visible or textual or undodgeable or marketed enough or glittery enough or whatever for everyone’s very unstable definition of “canon” -- Berens has literally cornerstoned an entire architecture of queer canon within this legacy show.

[littlesailorinthesun]

manifesto no. 790: why nikki/bobo is the best ship

(Author’s note: The title is in jest. It’s just for fun!)

In this essay I will explore the appeal of why Nikki/Bobo is actually the most narratively interesting ship you could choose for Nikki and for Bobo. Note that I don't intend to bash other ships or cause ship wars, because if you know me, you know that I am a multishipper and I support and enjoy ships like Nikkimi. I just want to explain why I personally like Nikbo and why it is the most interesting one to me as it exists in canon. Also note that because of the way I experience "ships", romantic ships and platonic ships have a very blurred and sometimes nonexistent line for me. 

Shared Experiences

Not only do Nikki and Bobo first meet at the very beginning of the story, they spend nearly 100% of Volume 1 together, and all of Nikki's moments in Miraland as she learns about the world and forms impressions are spent with Bobo. Because of this shared time together at the beginning of the game, a lot of base game items and early events also have interaction between them, outside of what you see in the main story. By and large, they spend their happiest moments together. (There are way too many of these moments to list! Thank you, writers, for all the wonderful interactions.)

Of course, they also go through low points together. The rebellion in Chapter 12 was one of the few times they were separated before Bobo's eventual departure, and Nikki refused to leave Royal City with Ace until both Bobo and Momo were back with her. Bobo went from uncontrollable crying in V1:12-2 to feeling entirely certain that Nikki would be able to get them out of the mess by V1:12-7. (After all, she's Nikki's biggest fangirl!) The opposite happens in V1:15-9, when it's Nikki who's crying and Bobo giving her the strength to get up and fight. Despite that this was likely part of Bobo's mission, she makes sure to ask if Nikki's okay after Nidhogg defeats her for the first time. Neither situation actually involves much comforting, but they are both there for each other during those moments. 

Relationship Arc

To me this is what makes the ship very interesting. Nikki and Bobo do not have a static relationship. It's something that morphs and changes and develops as the story goes on. We all know the feeling of discovering that Bobo and Nikki's meeting was not a coincidence at all and that she was actually ordered to befriend Nikki! But beyond this we also know that Bobo realized quickly into her mission that she actually really did like Nikki, which is a driving force in Bobo's storyline. Without her genuine affection for Nikki, I think her story would have actually been very different.

On Nikki's side of things, she had her faith in Bobo tested in V1:19-5 when it was suggested that Bobo might have been putting Nikki in danger on purpose. Of course, this wasn't far from the truth given Bobo's mission, though we don't know if every instance brought up (like Bobo tripping in the League Till outpost) was on purpose. But Nikki is so loyal to Bobo that she refuses to believe that she could have done anything like that. Reflecting on the matter in her dreamweaver The Girl's Decision, she says to herself, "Maybe you have your own difficulties, but I have always believed in you. You are my best friend on the Miraland. Your sincere wishes and dear heart, I have never doubted them." She also realizes then that she did not know how much she would miss Bobo until she was gone, which I think is important for contextualizing some of the earlier chapters.

We see their "low point" in the relationship at the end of Sunflower in Long Night, when the True King, who has been successfully manipulating Bobo for what seems like a while, forbids her from reuniting with Nikki who is actively searching her out. Paralyzed, she listens as Nikki leaves, and wonders to herself if that was the last chance she'd get, to which the True King responds, in the most ominous and chilling line to end a Dreamweaver ever, "You're right. There's no turning back." 

Nikki does eventually find out the truth in Brave New World, but by then she's seen the turmoil Bobo's been going through, and assures her that even if her goals were false, their time together was not, and that her memories were proof of their true and real connection. Their bond of shared experiences was so true that even the lies could not break it - even if it could shake it.

Personally, I just find it more interesting when the ships have, like, literally anything that might stand between them. The deception in this - even if it's a double layered deception where Bobo was only deceiving Nikki because she herself was being deceived - is a fun dynamic to me. They formed their relationship despite the factors that worked against them, Bobo's conflicting motivations and Nikki's being kept in the dark. In a story where many of Nikki's relationships just happen because she ran into them on the street, this is a really refreshing relationship: a dynamic story underlied by a beautifully simple bond.

Mutual Desire to Protect

Both characters are marked by their overwhelming desire to protect each other. It is natural that Nikki wants to protect Bobo. Nikki sees her at her absolute weakest, disappearing right before her eyes in the Cloud Realm due to her uncertain status in the real world. Of course, that's what prompts Nikki to make that promise that the writers will totally make her follow through on, because they would never ignore a plot detail involving a major character: "Bobo... I will find you... I won't leave you anymore, I will face everything with you. Wait for me."

But it's also very important that Bobo wants to protect Nikki just as much. Immediately after leaving Nikki, she's already worried about her, thinking: "Nikki, how are you doing? Are you safe now? Have you found any new clues? I'm sorry I didn't protect you." (This actually reminds me a lot of how Orlando will address Flynn while talking to himself.) She's put in an even more precarious situation because she was meant to involve Nikki in the disputes of the world, which inevitably meant that Nikki was put into danger, over and over.

In my point of view, I think this is why Bobo left. It's canon, as stated in Daymare Fairy Tale, that the gun was what caused her to leave, because it caused her to "wake from her dream" (presumably referring to the good times with Nikki). However, the specifics of this are where I lean into theoryville. I think Bobo did mean to trip in V1:19-4 and that's what caused her to realize her actions crossed a line. A gun was pointed at her - and, presumably, at the nearby Nikki - and she realized she could not protect Nikki and involve her in disputes at the same time. She could not complete her mission. There's another more personal reason she could have decided to leave, and that would be that the sight of a gun pointed at her brought up the trauma from the events surrounding the death of her father. Regardless, I don't think either interpretation - that it was related to endangering Nikki or that it was related to her personal trauma - is wrong, but rather, it is easy to read more into it than what's stated so I thought it was worth mentioning.

Their desire to protect each other continues into Brave New World, both the day and the night sections. Really, these two are basically in an endless "no let me protect u" battle. Bobo breaks through the possession of the True King twice, once in Day and once in Night. Both times, she tells Nikki to run, to leave Miraland and herself, so that at least she can be safe. Both times, Nikki responds by telling her she isn't going anywhere: "No matter what you want to do, I will be with you. [...] I choose to stay here to protect the Miraland and keep everyone's dreams and future, to also keep our precious memories. I will not let you face this all alone. Trust me!" Eventually Bobo does accept this and tells Nikki that she trusts her to protect her. I can't wait for Nikki to make good on that promise and find her!

Personalities, Compatibility, and Character Analysis

I realize I have not touched on why their personalities work together, so here are some thoughts on them as individuals. (I will lean into hypotheticals and headcanons here.)

I see Bobo as someone who indulges too much in escapism. She likes to pretend things are okay when they really, really aren't. We see a bit of this when she refuses to believe Nidhogg could have betrayed Lilith in Chapter 12, and of course it's sort of... the entire thing about why she spends so much time gallivanting around with Nikki. After this she's pretty much forced to understand and accept the realities of the world all at once, and I think this is a major component of her character development. Nikki is both a source of her escapism and the entire reason why it comes crashing down. I think, in a hypothetical post-canon context, Nikki could still be that type of person who could help distract Bobo from things for a while (because god knows that girl needs some comfort).

At the same time, just due to Nikki's nature, she wouldn't let Bobo wallow too much in the past. Nikki believes strongly in moving on and becoming the best version of herself. This is a theme mentioned in her most recent birthday suit, Sparkling Cupcake. More personally, she reflects on it in her dreamweaver. She recognizes that she used to be a passive person and vows to change that in order to better protect the people she loves. So I know she would also do her best to help Bobo, because that's just who Nikki is.

As I think about Nikki's main goals and motivations beyond this, I keep seeing one theme pop up over and over: she places a strong value on happy memories. (Really, I cannot overstate this - she talks about it all the time.) She treasures her memories of Miraland more than anything, so much that she is willing to face its impending destruction, because they mean so much to her. These memories are something crucial she and Bobo already share. It's why I think she would find true happiness with Bobo.

(I will also touch on the obvious things here, albeit briefly: they have shared interests, like cuteness, the color pink, and romance, and they... uh... quite obviously get along.)

Comparison to Nikkimi

Really, like I said, this is not an attempt to bash or put down any ship. Nikkimi is great (and canon), but there are a few things that frustrate me:

Their relationship is largely focused on Kimi, not Nikki. Nikki is the one who comforts and supports Kimi on her journey, and Kimi is not there for most of Nikki's moments of weakness, nor does she accompany her on her journey. Kimi doesn't even know Nikki isn't from Miraland until... the very last stage of Volume 1, 19-SS3.

They get together quickly and stay together with no major interpersonal challenges. While yes, this is definitely ideal in real life, it's just not that narratively interesting.

Concluding Thoughts

If there is anything that marks the earlier chapters, it's Bobo's sadness over still being single. Yet, I love the trope of when someone didn't realize the person they were looking for... was with them the whole time!

Bobo has so many countless lines where she is fangirling over Nikki that it is very easy to read more into that. I think people ship her and Kaja for this reason but oh my god there are just as many if not more where she is Nikki's cheerleader, constantly complimenting her and hyping her up to the people she meets (just open Dreamweaver for this).

And even if you still prefer Nikkimi, Bobo having unrequited feelings for Nikki is also pretty fun.

[orionsangel86]

SPN Speculation - SDCC chatter

Hey guys, a little birdy told me that Tumblr hasn’t been handling the SDCC news all that well? I have been asked to come back and share some thoughts I have so far only been floating around in GCs and very briefly on Twitter.

For those of you feeling negative about Season 15, that’s of course your prerogative, but I am honestly extremely happy with what tidbits of information we have received. 

This got long so under a cut is quotes from SDCC and my own reactions and speculation including an ending concept I thought of that I am quite happy with.

First of all, Andrew Dabb’s joke about only 30% of the audience liking the ending was just that, a JOKE. They were digging at Game of Thrones. Bobo has already confirmed on Twitter previously that SPN ending will be NOTHING like Game of Thrones. 

https://twitter.com/robertberens/status/1127821427149721600

https://twitter.com/robertberens/status/1127976311303970816

This was back during the final few eps of GoT when Bobo got really chatty with fans online about the way GoT told it’s stories. He confirmed that SPN is completely different, believes in heroism, and is focused on its characters rather than the world at large.

What Bobo essentially was saying was that SPN isn’t going for a dark gloomy ending more focused on the universe than each characters individual end journeys. SPN will have a satisfying end for its audience compared to the dark and gloomy hopeless ending GoT presented us with.

So any snark they had at SDCC comparing SPN to GoT was prob based on this and is totally not to be taken seriously.

What made me feel far more positive was Dabb and Bobo saying the following:

Dabb: “you want people to feel it was worth their time. Because this show is a big time investment. Three hundred and twenty seven hours [is a lot]. You don’t want to leave people feeling hollow, you don’t want to leave them feeling cynical. You don’t want to make them think we don’t take very seriously the amount of time and effort they put into this show and the amount of time and effort we put into this show. So that doesn’t mean the ending is always happy and everybody is high-giving. But it means the journey was worth something and came to a place that makes everyone feel it was worth taking that trip.”

Bobo said “at it’s core, making sure we end powerfully and meaningfully the stories of Jack, Cas, Sam and Dean, and honor them and their characters and their emotions and the audiences emotions for them.... that’s sort of our north star in breaking the show.”

Also Bobo: “We have some really interesting and fun ways to play around with that expectation [of whether Sam and Dean should live or die]. Not just in the final stretch but throughout the season. I think that question will be raised in a number of ways. And Sam and Dean will be struggling with that in a number of ways. I think we’re very conscious as writers that this is not the Game of Thrones type [of situation] – just shove everyone’s face in the mud kind of downer. It’s a balance of pain and uplift that we have to hit perfectly that feels fresh and doesn’t feel like something we’ve done before. And I think that we have some ideas that we’ve very excited about that will stick that landing for us.”

Whilst we have to remember that this is still just PR, it is good to hear from both Bobo and Dabb that ultimately they seem to understand what is important and how to end this show right. My interpretation from this is not that the show will end in death and misery, but in something hopeful and somewhat satisfying, even if it is different.

(My sources from this are from a GC where the text I think is copied from an article. If you know the article please send me the link)

Dabb also talked quite a bit about how the one thing that is set in stone and has been for at least a year already, is the very final scene of the show. They had this in mind before Season 14 was written. So everything else will be written around this final scene. (also means we need to pay closer attention in our S14 re-watches.)

Dabb and Bobo both think the ending will satisfy fans, or at least that fans will understand why the ending they chose makes sense. Dabb specifically said “What we are crafting is something that I hope will make sense as an emotional ending to these characters journey. I don’t think it’s something that’s going to make everybody happy, because that’s impossible. But I certainly hope that even the people who hoped it ended differently will understand why it ended that way.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHjhnG5w2gw

The one take away that REALLY interested me was this from Jensen:

“It took me a while to get there. When we were in the room and the idea came down the pipe and everybody kind of signed off on it, my reaction was more like “okay, okay”. I’d struggled with it for about a week or so and I realised I’m just too close to this character. To see anything with finality on it is just hard to digest. And I talked to a few people about it and got some clarity on it and I’ve tried to look at it from a different perspective and I now have come around to being “oh, this is a really good ending. This is satisfying.””

https://twitter.com/Bluestar861/status/1153080393106710528

So to sum up:

Dabb says that the ending they have gone with is one that makes sense emotionally in terms of character journey

Bobo says that the ending will honor the characters of Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack and WON’T be anything like GoT

Jensen says that he struggled with the ending at first, and had to have it explained to him to get clarity on why they are taking that route, after which, he understood and now thinks its a really good ending.

To top this, Jared spoke of the ending being the characters finding peace (whether alive or dead - but in a way that implied they would be alive)

Misha has confirmed he doesn’t know the ending, so he has simply been reiterating his old stance that Cas has to die and as much as we love him, we can disregard everything he says based on his own words from Jibcon “I make shit up.”

As a meta writer and someone who spends a lot of time picking apart the stories to find SENSE and MEANING in the CHARACTER JOURNEY’S and knowing that JENSEN ACKLES DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AT FIRST?! 

I AM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS NEWS.

Jensen not understanding imo means the ending will not be Sam and Dean dying together in a blaze of glory, it won’t be a separation in death either for any of the characters. My best guess? The brothers go their separate ways in the end. 

Hear me out. It fits okay. Let’s bring this back to the obvious question:

How do you end a show where death is not taken seriously?

Easy. You separate the characters in LIFE, bringing an end to their joint story. If SPN has always been a story about two brothers, saving people, hunting things, the family business (with the family growing over the past so many years), then the way you end that is not by killing them off, it’s by separating the core characters from the story itself, and from each other.

The reason I am speculating THIS ending is also because of one EXTREMELY EXCITING fact that also came from SDCC:

EILEEN IS RETURNING

https://twitter.com/Shoshannah7/status/1153077148883640321

Call me an optimist, but they aren’t going to bring back the one character who ticked all of Sam Winchester’s boxes for one episode as a ghost or a soul in heaven - they are gonna bring her back properly, and that can only mean one thing. SAILEEN. Sam getting a romantic endgame is PERFECT and it fits my theory. Eileen coming back opens up the potential for Sam to have a new hunting partner, or even better, a new MOL Legacy partner to reestablish the MOL as a society for learning and protecting the world from the Supernatural. A training center for hunters and supernatural scholars all over the world. TELL ME THIS ISN’T PERFECT FOR SAM I DARE YOU.

Obviously, the one caveat to this awesome opportunity for Sam, is no more hunting with Dean. Hence, end of Supernatural as we know it.

What does this mean for Dean? Well, If a certain angelic blue eyed beauty gets their true story potential - their emotionally satisfying character journey end - then that angelic blue eyed beauty will be hanging up their wings for good and slumming it with us mud monkeys permanently. 

A sacrifice? Yes, finality? Yes. Death? Hell no.

Further thoughts on this here:

https://twitter.com/Bluestar861/status/1153278119576592385

With a human Cas by his side, Dean can still do whatever he wants, travel the country, or take himself and his hot ex-angel “buddy” off to the beach, because the main focus of Dean’s character arc, his character journey over the course of so many seasons, has been to find peace with himself, as well as freeing himself from the burden of parenthood forced on him by his father and let Sam go.

Dean has never been comfortable being alone, and it wouldn’t make sense for him to end his journey alone either - at all - which is why Jensen’s dream ending that he keeps telling at cons about Dean swapping Baby for a motorbike also makes no bloody sense - but of course, as Jensen said, he didn’t really understand the ending presented at first did he? 

Jensen would struggle with the idea of Sam and Dean both choosing to separate in life, especially if that ending also had an ambiguous Destiel twist to it. Jensen has always made his views on the brothers relationship clear, he is a “together to the end” man, so it makes sense that he would need to have the toxic codependency and why it needs to break explained to him. 

I have no idea whether Destiel will be part of this so please don’t ask me, I happen to think at this point that it will be ambiguous and open to interpretation. But if the show ends with Dean and human Cas together mirrored against a happy Sam and Eileen I’ll be satisfied.

DISCLAIMER: This is a speculative fan theory thought up for fun. It is NOT serious show meta, it is literally inspired by PR from SDCC. I DO NOT HAVE A CRYSTAL BALL - IF I DID I WOULD BE BUYING LOTTERY TICKETS RIGHT NOW NOT TELLING YOU LOT HOW SPN IS GONNA END.

Of course, all my theories are inspired by in show character themes and emotional sub plots. I’m not pulling this shit out of thin air, I just... don’t want you all to start accusing me of leading you on or getting your hopes up if S15 starts and throws us a huge curve ball because I literally know nothing more than you lot and frankly the attacks on meta writers over the past few years have disgusted me and made me loose quite a bit of faith in the fandom collective brain cell - which I generally assume doesn’t exist in those that actually do attack meta writers.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Still, please try not to burn this hellsite to the ground based on SDCC PR. It’s supposed to be fun!

Peace.

[dotthings]

Well that flayed my emotions as much as I hoped and in some encouraging ways YES PAIN WITH PURPOSE THANK YOU. There’s a lot here, as is usual with Bobo eps and I’m going to have to take this one at a time especially since I really really need to break down what happened with Dean and Cas in this ep, at length. Yep I am going to go on a bit about Dean and Cas. As you do.

I’ve posted quite a bit of meta about how the rift was a combination of things. It’s years of unaddressed issues. Dean’s abandonment issues vs Cas’s tendency to be taken away, or die, or leave. Years of that. Then on top of it, when Cas couldn’t stand with Dean about Jack, and when he kept some crucial information from Dean that he shouldn’t have due to Jack. Let me restate something I’ve said before: Dean wasn’t wrong to express his hurt and anger. He loves Cas, and Cas is imperfect. No Cas isn’t always the screw up and Dean I already knew regretted that and didn’t believe that (see? I told you) nor does Dean ever want Cas dead. But Cas is imperfect and Cas has hurt Dean, as Dean has hurt Cas. Then there’s Cas’s fears about not being needed/wanted, his doubts about his place in this family, and in Dean’s heart vs. the complicated mess that is involved in being adopted into the Winchester clan as deeply as Cas was. So their insecurities have been their own worst enemies for years, and then the Jack and Mary thing happened. And then ON TOP OF ALL THAT, Chuck and Dean’s wondering what’s real what isn’t. I was pretty sure at least some of that might make it overtly into the prayer. But no none of that.

While I think it is definitely good that Dean expressed himself so openly and did it in a prayer he definitely had reasons to believe Cas would hear and it is really really good Cas HEARD HIM OH MY GOD THANK YOU CAS HEARD ALL THAT. It’s also not such good news that what comes out here is that this is all about Dean’s anger issues and he “can’t stop it.” And I’m not deciding here whether this is authorial eye or Dean’s. It certainly makes sense that Dean would pull guilt onto himself (rather than authorial blaming Dean). But Dean pulling all the guilt into himself, crying and apologizing and there being very little in the ep to address the other side of this--the Cas pov, and how Cas has hurt Dean--is just more cyclical unhealthiness.

Maybe this prayer was cathartic. Maybe this will help Dean going forward, letting go of that anger, that guilt. 

So that dynamic therefore is actually really unhealthy. Lashing out at your best friend, who you love, that severely because you just can’t help it when a crisis happens and the pressure is on, even if said best friend hurt you? It’s not a problem that Dean expressed his hurt and anger, it’s that he went too far. And he couldn’t help it. And it wasn’t Chuck existential crisis or even about Mary, it’s just that when under pressure Dean lashes out at those he loves and can’t stop it. While that is a valid issue...that kind of takes the entire burden and puts it onto Dean. Full stop. It’s all Dean’s fault. Dean, how dare you get angry and hurt when you best friend does stuff that actually...hurts you. This is, IMO, canon putting the kind of pressure on Dean that fandom does. Only express positive feelings, Dean, otherwise shut up. Regardless of intent, that’s kind of what this scene validated.

So on top of years of issues Dean and Cas haven’t dealt with, chronic issues, about each other. On top of reasons here Dean might think the bond was manufactured by Chuck, but all right, that last point doesn’t seem to be presenting itself unless I reach pretty down deep into subtext. Maybe we can say it’s fueling Dean’s anxieties and made everything worse, ramped everything up.

But I think given how this unfolded, Dean and Cas having some time apart isn’t a bad idea. That this turned out to actually be “Dean lashes out when he’s panicked and he can’t stop himself” and hurt Cas so much with it is worrying and I get it’s supposed to be worrying. But I’m not exactly vomiting rainbows. I  WANT THEM TO FIX IT.  I’m incredibly uncomfortable with how the story (whether authorial view or not) places it all on Dean. 

This is, frankly, going to feed the Dean hate and I’m just so tired of it, it’s unfair, it’s a twisted stanning view of the character, it lacks empathy, and I’m sorry that this episode did something that validated people who literally needed Dean LITERALLY ON HIS KEES CRYING AND APOLOGIZING before they might believe Dean isn’t an uncaring asshole. Some of us didn’t need that to know, while it is good that Dean said what was deepest in his heart. Yet there’s still going to be stans who keep bashing him and saying he doesn’t care about Cas. I really wish they would just stop and they never will so I will ignore it best I can.

After what I just witnesses in this ep, I am beyond FLOORED if there would be ANYONE LEFT IN THIS FANDOM WHO COULD THINK THAT. I get thinking they need couples therapy or maybe they need space. I’m thinking it. But to actually keep flogging the idea that Dean doesn’t care about Cas, that was already egregious before this ep, now it’s REALLY really egregious to keep flogging that.

So I’m uneasy, for what this means for Dean and Cas--not that they can’t or won’t fix this. OBVIOUSLY THEY WILL FIX THIS. They want to fix this. The arc isn’t over--and for what it means for Dean.

On the one hand, I’m glad to see things dig so deeply into Dean’s issues. Because it’s not Dean hate to say, yeah he’s got some anger issues and needs to examine that. But on the other hand, Dean crying and apologizing on his knees is NOT THE FIX FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. Because there’s unaddressed stuff from Cas’s side. And I’m sure a lot of people are going to breeze right by that. Because in this fandom you have to choose Dean or Cas, and one or the other is being dragged as being an uncaring assholes. 

The good news, this ep was exactly what I thought and hoped it would be for Dean and Cas otherwise, in terms of getting them past that early season freeze. 

Oh that revisiting of Purgatory was effing beautiful, structurally and emotionally. Cas refused to split up this time. Cas waited at the portal. Cas went through the portal with Dean. There is healing in this ep, they went through a similar situation only with a different outcome. Cas isn’t voluntarily staying in Purgatory to wear a hair shirt this time. This time, Cas didn’t run off and leave Dean just to protect Dean, they only got separated after they were overpowered. Cas waited and waited by that portal and Dean looked and looked. That was no really, that was beautiful (whatever issues I have about the prayer itself).

This was the thaw. This was the beginning of the next phase for Dean and Cas, and no it’s not intended as a fix. The door’s been opened, the ice has broken, the walls have crumbled, so that they can fix it and hopefully to an even better, stronger relationship that all they’ve been before, which is really strong already but damn they have so many issues. While Dean and Cas have mostly been a comforting relationship for me on SPN (health for relative values of healthy) and it is mostly a positive relationship...yeah. Issues. 

JFC I just really hope Cas is going to get to voice how he feels about hurting Dean as he has and it does an incredible disservice to the characters and their story to skip over that, not just because I’m defensive of Dean, but for Cas’s sake, for the sake of his character and pov. I feel like Cas’s pov is incomplete. He’s not getting to express himself the way I really really hope he will and I think he needs to. Hell, can I have Cas on his knees in tears pouring his heart out about Dean, it wouldn’t be a prayer or actual tears probably, since he’s an angel, but give me something.

Howe even did things get to the point where it’s Dean carrying most of the Destiel and expressing most of the feelings and bleeding out emotionally again and again in canon and yet so many people act like CAS is the one doing all the pining, as if Dean is the uncaring asshole, while we have such gaps in Cas expressing his pov on Dean. It’s absolutely WILD. It’s beyond wild. 

The other good news is despite my discomfort with the speech, I am reeling a bit at just how expressive it was. I do think as the one who said the harsh things, Dean would be the one who needed to take the first sledgehammer to the ice wall and he did it. It’s not that I agree all the blame is on him. But yes Dean opened the door and that’s a good thing. Dean falling to his knees, weeping because he’s scared he is losing his best friend again. To PURGATORY AGAIN NO LESS *screaming internally* and with all the times since he’s lost Cas. It wasn’t an angry emotional rant. It was a vulnerable, sad, quiet pleading prayer directly to his best friend. I am a bit shook that the Dean and Cas feelings weren’t nested in with some other bigger plot thing eating at Dean, where Cas is one of a list, or it’s something else breaking Dean and losing Cas is just too much on top of that. No, it’s just a guy falling to his knees because he’s scared he’s losing his best friend who he loves in every sense of the word yet again and it’s just them and their feelings.

The last time we saw something this overt from Dean, tear-filled, raw, laying it all out there, Cas was dead and in The Empty and Cas couldn’t hear it.

Ohhh and remember how I pointed out in S14 Cas hearing in Dean’s trauma memories the scream Dean let out when he lost Cas and I wasn’t sure if Cas knew that was for him or not, just that it was traumatic.

BUT THIS TIME CAS HEARD IT. HE HEARD THE PRAYER. HE KNEW DEAN CRIED. HE HEARD ALL OF DEAN’S ANGUISH ABOUT LOSING HIM. (Hopefully Cas will get an actual clue now, I hope).

[evohealed]

◀ LITTLE TALKS ▶

(( here’s an old mini fic i thought i should post. rex goes to the rebooted zagrs because it has his mother’s voice, and it’s … comforting, in a strange way. it’s the closest confidant he has. enjoy – it’s under the cut. I may write more like this in the future. ))

Rex doesn’t know what to do. He’s feeling so pushed over the edge, and off his shit’s that he doesn’t have a single coherent thought running through his mind, and he’s really, really fucked up. He’s bloody and broken, and even though Providence tried their best to patch him up and his nanites usually helped him heal faster … not everything could go away in an instant. He’ll be fine soon enough, he’s just … scared, and so alone. They wouldn’t even let him leave the building to get some fresh air after the horrific EVO attack he’d just had to deal with occurred – something had totally let some from the petting zoo’s isolation chamber free, and, well … he doesn’t wanna talk about the injuries he sustained from it. He’s got his phone out, and through tear-glazed eyes and a shaky hand, he types out a message to Noah. But … he just can’t find it in him to hit send.

He’s typed, retyped, deleted, typed, retyped, deleted, typed, retyped, deleted … but no matter how many times he does this, no matter how much he wash, rinse, and repeats, he just can’t send it to Noah. Wouldn’t he come off like a total baby? Doesn’t he have better stuff to deal with? Wouldn’t he just be wasting Noah’s time? There’s nothing on his mind but Noah, and how Noah could make him feel better, and how he wants to just hear him … so, while he’s totally out of it, the thumb that’d been hovering nervously over the call button presses down. It’s barely even ringing before Noah picks up, and he’s saying hey, and asking him what’s up. But when Rex doesn’t immediately respond, and all you can hear is him clearly sniffling like he’s gonna cry, Noah starts to ask what’s wrong.

He doesn’t really answer, and it’s not til Noah’s trying to beg him to talk because he can hear Rex crying ( which must be … alarming, because he knows Noah’s never seen or heard him cry before, and he’d always wanted to keep it that way ) that he really realizes Noah’s on the other end. Oh, god he’d heard him sobbing.  He can’t bring himself to say anything but a quick somewhat muddled sorry and hangs up the phone, trying to keep back his sobs until he can stop fumbling with his phone enough to hang up, and … when Noah calls back, he just rejects it. He can’t stand rejecting his phone over and over again, and he just wants it to stop. Why did he do that? That was so stupid of him! Sure, he wants Noah around more than anything right now, and he really, really wants to be consoled by his blonde friend, but … he feels too guilty for making Noah worried.

He feels guilty for showing any kind of feelings when he KNOWS better than to do that. He’s just a weapon, he shouldn’t be burdening anyone else with his issues! There’s nobody he should even be talking to about this. So it’s with a bitter sniffle that he turns off his phone to avoid the calls and texts from Noah, and just … sits there, alone in his dark room, alone with his thoughts, and suffers silently. Nothing new to the tall teen, unfortunately – it’s what Providence has ingrained into him, after all.

Honestly … what was he thinking? He couldn’t even go and see Noah, and Noah wouldn’t want to see him like this anyways .. not when Providence was scolding him for how much of a baby he was being, and how he should have done better in handling the attack than he did.  They expected him to heal fast, because he usually heals fast, but he’s really fucked up, and he just… can’t! He’s injured way too much and the injuries are way too extensive to even let him function right for a few days, and sure, Providence had great pain meds and medical access, but nothing the med-bay could offer could stop this … painful feeling he had all over his body. There’s no scars or anything ( okay, well. no BAD ones ) but some things were DEFINITELY  broken, and .. well. They hadn’t been treated ASAP, so it’s no wonder that everything in his body hurt so fucking badly.

And on top of this all, he’s got a distinct sense of being a burden, and he just knows it has to be true. If it wasn’t true, then … why would they be treating him like this? He knows he should have been better, he knows he should’ve fought better, he knows he shouldn’t have called Noah no matter HOW distressed he got … and yet he did. So … where was he gonna go? What was he gonna do about this? He doesn’t know, so he’s curled up on his bed and looking like a kicked puppy. He buries his face in his knees, just staying in a ball, and … that’s how he stays, for hours on end. He’s sure he’s fallen asleep and cried himself out at one point, because suddenly, he’s waking up, and … Bobo is already asleep. All the lights in Providence are turned off ( well, except the night light rotations .. those are dimmer lights turned on by nine PM so people can sleep here ) and .. well, if those are on, then there’s a good chance that means Cesar is out of his lab. Or, at the very least, asleep – that man sleeps like a rock, so if he was in there, and was still asleep? It wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t wake him up. So,

Rex, still feeling miserable as ever, decided to get himself up and out of there. He needs something to talk to, something like a parental figure to tell him everything will be okay – but Holiday had already gone to bed for the night, and he’s not about to wake her up. And .. Six was. Six. He wasn’t a very good dad figure at all. And he hated being woken up for anything pertaining to emotions … says he should just get over them. Okay … what does he do, then? Well … he’s decided in an instant, something that just clicks and makes him feel absolutely at peace.

He’s going to talk to ZAGrs.

Honestly, Rex couldn’t say he’d expected the revelation that ZAGrs used his mother’s voice, but … it made a whole lot of sense. The voice, it’d sounded so … eerily familiar from the get go, and now Rex knows why. Cesar had managed to kill her self-aware programming and reboot her since the last time they’d dealt with her, and … well, while Rex certainly felt silly he hadn’t even recognized his own mother’s voice, everything made so much more sense. Now, he knows that it’s not really his mom talking to him, and that she’s not really self aware anymore, but … it’s as close as he’s gonna get to his mom. I mean, it has her voice, doesn’t it?

So … it might as well be the same thing as talking to his real mom. He doesn’t think he’s weird for what he’s about to do with this information and thought process, but he wants someone to speak to, and ZAGrs is as close as he can get to having a parental figure at the moment. ( it’s wack logic, but he’s going to choose to run with it anyways. ) Slowly peeking his head through the door, he checks around for any signs of Cesar in the room. He sees his brother passed out at his desk, drooling everywhere over his papers ( gross, he thinks, but mood ) and the computer turned off. He slips into the room as quietly as he can, if he feels like he can barely move without causing a mess through the room ( seriously, he’s bumping into everything… he really shouldn’t be walking ). And, once he’s in, he takes another look around ( yup, Cesar’s still asleep ) before he puts his hand to the monitor and turns it on with his nanite abilities. ZAGrs ( or  … er, computer? isn’t that just what she’s called now? ) is alive and well and functioning, and it greets him.

“Hello, REX. SALAZAR. What is your query?” 

Rex, miserable as he is, tenses up, and then … relaxes. He has to remind himself that he’s not gonna be killed by this thing anymore, it can’t try to murder him or genocide all the world’s Nanites … so, he decides to finally try and speak. “Um … Computer, can I … talk to you?”

“Of course you can talk to me, REX. I have many commands you can execute.”

“… Right, um .. I actually wanted to talk to you about .. my feelings. Is that .. okay?” He sheepishly rubs his neck, offering a little forced grin. Wow, okay, he feels like a fool for doing this, and that motion alone hurts to do, but .. he’s still gonna keep it up. So, with a deep breath, a side glance, and pulling a spare chair out, he sits down, and asks his question.

“Computer … Have you … ever felt like you don’t actually matter much?”

“QUERY not recognized.” 

“I mean, it’s just … I know I’m not totally worthless, but … it’s hard not to feel that way when you’re someone like me.”

“Your body will likely have value on the black market, if that is what you are inquiring.” “What’s a black market? I don’t – you know what? Whatever, okay. Um.. I just – I’ll just talk about what I came here to. Just .. listen, okay?”

“OK.”

“Okay, w-well .. god, everything hurts, for starters.” He complains, melting into the seat he’s found and leaning back. He lets a pause hang in the air before he continues, only the sounds of the computer’s whirring filling the background, and then he breathes in deeply. He’s just gotta … take a second to breathe. His body still aches, and his head and thoughts are still foggy and he’s still very sleepy, but … he’s gonna continue anyways. “But … really, um .. I’m …” He struggles to find his words, and for a second he really does believe all is lost, and then, all at once, the words start pouring out.

“I … messed up. I know I’m supposed to be a machine. I’m supposed to be a good weapon, a-and I’m supposed to not feel anything. But .. sometimes, the stress can get to me, you know? I don’t know, I know I should be keeping my biometrics up, but … I d-don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. I mean, I wanna help people, and I w-wanna help save the earth and stop EVOs from hurting each other, and cure everyone I can, but … b-but I’m not .. good enough! I can’t be a good weapon, but I’m n-not even a normal person, either. And if I’m not a good w-weapon, and I’m useless as a human, then … who am I? What am I? It’s not – I just don’t understand. I know Providence tells me – that Six tells me – that I’m not s'pposed to have emotions, I’m not supposed to get upset like this, and I should just focus on doing m-my job … but I can’t help feeling like I’m a failure because … I am feeling! I have emotions! No matter w-what I try, I just can’t get rid of them! I’m trying my hardest not to, but they’re here, and they’re… I can’t just ignore them!”

He forces himself to pause – he’s back to silently sobbing again, trying his damndest to keep his tears as quiet and hidden as he could. It’s … the first time he can remember crying in a long time – he can usually shove it all down, but now it’s all bubbling to the top. This whole situation just sucks, he just wants to be a normal kid, but Providence wants him to be a pure weapon! Why does he have to have emotions if he was meant to be a weapon? If he has emotions, why is he a weapon? Weapons shouldn’t feel, and humans shouldn’t be able to do … this! “… People tell me I’m a freak. Everyone at Providence is always yelling at me that I’m a weapon, everyone I try to help tells me I’m a freak. I’m getting mixed signals and I – I don’t know what to make of it. I just want to be normal, I wanna be able to talk m-my emotions out, but … But who would I even talk to? Bobo?” He lets out a bitter laugh before continuing, his voice little more than a whisper as he talks to himself.

“I love him, but … He doesn’t take that stuff seriously, he’s not an emotions guy. A-and Holiday can only afford to waste so much time on me, plus I don’t wanna look LAME  for her. Six is outta the question, he says I shouldn’t even have emotions. A-and … Noah, he’s … I know he says I can talk to him, but I know I don’t do anything but stress him out. I don’t w-want to ruin anything by telling him everything I’m upset about, I’m probably just being a baby about it. I just –” he pauses, and then … when he sees his brother finally stirring, his words speed up.

“I’m t-tired of being hurt. I don’t w-want to be, but … it feels like nobody cares if I get hurt. ‘Cept maybe Holiday. I heal quickly anyways, m-my nanites will fix it … and if anyone even notices, obviously they don’t care. It’s always about gettin’ back to work as soon as I can. I just wanna... I wanna feel appreciated, I--” He hiccupped again, taking a moment to calm down his sobbing and letting the tears all run out, and then … A pause. He was totally silent for a good few minutes. He gets an idea. It’s not really his mom, but again, it’s … close, right? Maybe hearing her say this would help him feel better.

“Computer … ?”

“Yes, REX?”

He’s cautious as he speaks his next words, “Can you .. say, ‘Rex, I love you’?”

“REX, I love you.”

And that … robotic as it may be, as aware as he is that it’s not really his mom, and that it’s not really anyone real.. it placates him greatly. It’s enough to get him to stop his crying entirely, and it’s not long before he’s taking deep breaths to calm himself down. When he’s finally not crying anymore, he wipes at his eyes with the heel of his palms, and he smiles.

“.. Thank you, Computer.”

“You’re welcome, REX.”

He uses his nanite powers to shut off the computer, and with that, he leaves the room. And, hell, he’s still in immense pain, but honestly? He’s cried himself beyond the point of caring. He simply walks out of the room, and starts to head back to his. His hands are in his pockets, and he looks like absolute shit because of how tired he is and how sleepy that crying made him, so he just kind of planned to go to bed, so he made a beeline for his room. However, just inches away from the door, he heard his name be called out – and he looked around, confused, but saw Noah standing in the hall. Why was his crush friend here?

He doesn’t know, but before he can even say a single word, Noah’s charging at him and tackling him in a hug. He’s surprisingly got enough force to tackle him to the ground – if only probably because Rex was in such horrible shape, and he was clearly beaten up pretty bad, so he winces hardcore when he hits the ground. But Noah’s still clinging on his midriff, saying that he scared him, and clearly, he’s been crying – asking what’s wrong, and why did he hang up? Was he mad? Rex just kind of forced an awkward chuckle as he threaded his fingers through Noah’s hair, and then sighed. “It’s … nothing. I’m fine.” He says, unconvincingly. Noah’s trying to ask something, but Rex just waves it off, smile growing strained.

“Dude, I promise, I’ll be fine. Now, did you … bike all the way here? At like … eleven pm?” A pause, and a very red-faced Noah nods, and then … Rex laughs. He can’t believe the blonde did that, all for him! He feels a little bad about it, but he still ushers Noah into his room, and then … the night isn’t so shitty after that. Noah really helps, but knowing he could talk to Computer and that it couldn’t wouldn’t judge helped even more.

Maybe everything will be fine after all.

[nidhoggssoultrap]

Headcanons/Vingettes/snippets part 2

Oh lordy...this is it. Love Nikki has the longest list of headcanons EVER...or well, that I’ve written. Jesus...never thought a dress-up game would inspire this much...

I peg Nidhogg as four years older than Louie. So, in 680, Nidhogg is 31 while Louie is 27. Nidhogg's actual age is never stated, but I sensed that he may be older. He was orphaned at the age of 8 and he spend two years alone in North Kingdom having to fend for himself. He was found at the age of 10 by Louie's father. He loved the fact that six year old Louie preferred to keep to himself. Nidhogg considered himself "the only friend you need." Or "I'm the only friend you'll ever want." As time goes on, Nidhogg planned to become the only lover Louie would ever need/want and well...didn't happen.

2. Louie is the only person Nidhogg ever obsessed over on the level that he has. As stated in part 1, this is the sole reason why Louie is still alive.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3. While I don't take too much stock in the Zodiac, I do feel that Nidhogg fits many of the scorpio traits to a tee. Same with the King of Swords. Fun Fact(or from what I've read): The Scorpio is actually compatible with the Capricorn if they're the same sex. Heh. Then again, the Scorpio is also compatible with the Pisces and Virgo. Yvette is the former and I am the latter. Ahaha. Still will not be shipping Yvette with him and I'm not sure if I would get along with him well if he existed in real life.

4. Nikki/Kimi? I am ALL ABOARD! Am for this a lot!

5. Orlando reminds me a lot of Camus from Suikoden II. They seem quite similar. However, Orlando is also a lot like Harry Hartwin "Manners Maketh the Man" of Kingsman. I guess that's why Orlando was my first husbando. While I can understand Orlando/Flynn, I'm not sure if I'm on board this ship. I don't mind it though.

6. Between Nidhogg and Louie, it's obvious(at least to me) who the leader would be if you had to choose. However, when on a motorcycle or aircraft, Louie is the one "in charge".

7. Nidhogg loves sandalwood cologne. His favorite combination is bergamot and sandalwood and his scent is frequently powerful. "Like a knock out punch." Louie wears a rose musk, which surprises a lot of people.

8. Louie spent a lot of time blinded by his hate and he isn't the only one. Because of this, Louie, Nikki and others see him in a very distorted light and doubt his intentions.

9. "At this moment, Yvette never hated anyone as much as she hated Heinrich Nidhogg now. His hair with the white streaks, his golden eyes that darted constantly as he calculated where to turn, when and where to switch lanes, when to look at his cell phone that sat on the dashboard and when they glanced at her before flicking back to the road. She hated the rattling sound his shoulder chain and medals made every time he moved. They sounded like ghosts and she never liked ghosts. She hated his voice, that tenor voice made of elegant steel with the whisper that can shred or soothe even the most stalwart of souls. She even hated his breathing that sometimes staggered with occasional sharp intakes. Even his breathing stood out! She hated his smell, that bergamot and sandalwood that he frequently wore the way someone had a signature. She hated it.

She hated his black fur cape that doubled as a coat, his elaborate, sleek, black, silver, and white uniform that others no doubt loved. She hated his striking face, his full lips that sometimes pursed when he calculated his next millisecond move behind the wheel of the powerful black sports car that she also grew to hate. She hated his sword, the dreaded Dark Verdict that made rattling sounds of its own on his left hip. She hated the pistol that sat on his right hip, but she did not dare make a move.  She hated his onyx kerchief with his matching earrings. She hated his black gloved hands that held the steering wheel, handbrake, and gear stick firmly under his control. And above all, she hated, hated, hated his black leather boots. Those heavy jack boots with silver boot jewelry right on the top and on his ankles. She hated how they stepped, slammed, hovered, and kicked against all three pedals with insane precision and always the right amount of force. She didn't doubt that someone would love to watch him drive, would love to listen to him, would dream of him, and who knew what else over his plainly obvious skill behind the wheel combined with his looks and what he wore. She, however, hated it and instead thought of Louie, Nikki, Kimi, Bobo and Momo who she considered her "White Knights." She remembered the phrase "sometimes you have to be your own White Knight." But, she didn't know when. She only knew now and now those amber gold eyes flickered over to her and she looked away. She could see his reflection on the passenger window and she looked down. When all was said and done, she never wanted to see him again.

She wanted Louie. She wanted his scent, his skills, the sounds of his white car, his voice, his white hair. She wanted her desires to matter even though they didn't matter to Nidhogg. But when? She wondered. When could she be her own White Knight?

10. While Yvette was imprisoned in North Kingdom, she watched a show about bunnies and how they can be "bad ass." She learned some very important facts about rabbits. She also saw someone come up on the TV and say "Sometimes you have to be your own White Knight." (This was from the show Burn Notice and I thought of this before the actual Yvette glow up and it's one of the other reasons why I LOVED the coincidence). She also saw the movie (or equivalent of "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles") and identified a great deal with Dale Griffith and what he said to Neal Page in the "I like me" scene. She even tells Nidhogg those words (well, paraphrased) soon after he kidnapped her for the second time.

11. When Nidhogg found out about Louie and Lunar, he was not happy. He had "that look" for about a second, and then acted happy. This is not why he killed Lunar though. Yvette has also been a target of “that look.”

12. Whatever awful things Nidhogg did, he took no pleasure in any of it. To him, it was all about doing "what must be done".  In this sense, he is very much like Griffith of Berserk. The look in his eyes isn't from being hollow, but rather grim determination, sorrow, and focus on the task at hand. He believes 100% that he is doing what is right and he believes that history will look upon him favorably and that “you’ll thank me in the end.”

13. After Yvette is rescued, a lot of time is spent between Nikki and her friends. Of course, Nidhogg is discussed a great deal. Louie admits that Nidhogg was actually his "first kiss" as "practice" for Lunar. Louie DID agree to it, but stopped when Nidhogg attempted to go a bit further. Louie regrets the act to this day. Soon after that kiss, Louie leaves to eventually become a Knight while Nidhogg moves to Lilith to eventually become Prime Minister.

14. "When Kiki went out to get some tea, Yvette stayed behind in her office to clean her desk. She had never been happier at her new job and she couldn't have been more grateful for the pardon she received from Prince Royce. He understood. He understood everything and she in turn understood why he had to be careful about his thoughts on former Prime Minister Nidhogg. Colonel Nidhogg...that's what he was all along. She should have known, but then again, who really did? Image is everything right?

The doors behind her burst open. /Kiki?/ The sounds of boots said no, the scent.../NO! How/? Bergamot and Sandalwood. She turned, and Colonel Nidhogg walked in briskly and with so much authority that he could declare himself a god and everyone would agree. He was in full uniform, just like he was when she last saw him. His cape flowed behind him and then stopped when he did. He stared down at her, his arms folded across his chest. He the wolf and she the bunny, at least that's how she felt.

"What could you possibly want now?" Yvette demanded as best she could.

"You're coming with me," He simply stated, his voice like steel.

"I don't want to."

Nidhogg's eyes matched his voice. "I spent my entire life dealing with things I did not want. They happened anyway, I dealt with them anyway, I did them anyway. What you want is irrelevant."

Yvette shook her head, "No...no...please...I have nothing you could possibly want." Tears fell down her face. She couldn't help it.

A shrug of his black fur cape revealed his weapons, REAL weapons, not fashion accessories used in styling battles. "I have a sword and a sidearm and I'm afraid not to use either." He took a step forward. "Three things are going to happen: You will come with me, you will cooperate, and above all," his voiced hardened, "you WILL stop crying." "

15. /Everytime I think of Louie, my discipline falters/.

He slowly paced at his desk, listening to the sound of his boots echo against the tiled floor. Nidhogg had just finished entertaining his "guests" and poor Yvette had no idea as she was fast asleep on the nearby couch. Gloved chin in hand, he watched her, seriously doubting that she knew anything at all. He made sure to tire her out so much that she couldn't even go home. He wanted her with him, asleep or not.

"Louie..." Nidhogg whispered when he finally stood in front of the window that overlooked Cicia City Square. When a "guest" mentioned Louie, his heart fluttered and the only the widening of his amber eyes indicated any emotion.

The "guest" noticed. "You should have let me kill him. He will be a threat later."

"You will leave now," was Nidhogg's whispered reply and "Shade", being a reasonably intelligent man, did as he was told.

He remembered the battle three years ago. Dr. Grey Raven had been captured by the Nameless knights. Nidhogg led the rescue. Louie was there, dressed in white and black. Never a shadow, all light and one who carried a spear. Not that he was the only one. The leader, Lionel, also carried a spear and he used it to stab Grey Raven, only to get shot by Shade.  Immediately, Nidhogg called off the attack and retreated with the doctor. He ignored Shade's could haves and would haves. Nidhogg didn't and he knew that he never would.

/Louie, you fool. Why do you insist to holding on to your lofty ideals? You are flying far too high and you, of all people, should know that such a thing is dangerous. I am not opposed to idealism, but it needs to be tempered with pragmatism. You look at what is real and go from there. This is how lasting change happens. But, you never listened.../. Memories of Louie flooded him, of their childhood together, how they fought together, how they lived together, and how Nidhogg's chest ached when he wanted something more than just brothers.

"Stop!" His whisper cut through the air as he planted a hand against the window. "Stop...you are stronger than this." Yet his heart fluttered against his chest. "Victory not vengeance...I will win, but I will not kill you. I..." His hand became a fist. "I once said that we were fated to be enemies because of you, because of your own beliefs, because you would not hear me...but that didn't mean I didn't love you. It didn't mean I wanted you to leave.  I shouldn't even call it fate. It's you...all you...life bows to my control and yet you-" and then he saw Yvette in the reflection.

She was awake.

Nidhogg turned and she quickly put her head back down, but too late. He hoped she didn't notice. /How much have you seen? What have you heard?/

16. Yvette is a pescatarian. She generally does not like the texture of meat, except for seafood. She likes sushi and fish/chips.

17. TBH, one of the reasons why I view Nidhogg as vulgar in his “true form” is because, well, I grew up with military(Air Force) and swearing is as common as breathing for a lot of those people(I’m being very general, but I know that my father and, to a lesser extent, my stepfather had some mouths on them when provoked). Also, I find myself enjoying the sharp contrast between the largely “clean” Prime Minister and the “filthy” Colonel. Poor Yvette was shocked at how foul-mouthed Nidhogg actually was. Louie is generally not so “potty mouthed.” When Nikki heard Nidhogg swear, she said that she would like to wash his mouth out with soap. None of the other male characters swear the way he does.

18. I predict that the “Final Battle” will be with Nidhogg and it will have seven themes representing each nation. That being said, I think that Nidhogg has some critical fashion weaknesses in that he isn’t all that flexible. Put it this way, a “Beach Theme” would annihilate him. Louie, otoh, would have no problem.

19. Nidhogg does not dream. He plans. He knows the reality of Louie’s actual feelings towards him, but he thinks “I can change that.”

20. Bai Yongxi and Zhu Yuxian? I like these two together. I’m not sure about a romantic ship, but a friendship is pretty clear and I like it. As Prime Minister, Nidhogg kept his distance because he suspected that Zhu viewed him the same way Royce did. As colonel, he accepted Zhu’s assistance, but nothing beyond that.

[mittensmorgul]

I’m officially out into the early days of Dabb Era (masquerading as the end of Carver Era, but it’s clear that Dabb has already taken over at this point) on the tnt loop. And this scene from the end of 11.16 was just so reminiscent of 14.13:

[BOBBY leaves the house and heads to his car. He waves at the nosy neighbor, and gets in the driver's seat. He notices a bottle, with a note attached to it that says, "Fine, you Ass, you win, for now. Enjoy. R." BOBBY laughs. He gets out his journal to write about the case, when his cell phone rings.] BOBBY: Dean. You boys okay? DEAN: Yeah we're fine, Bobby, where the hell have you been? I've left three messages. BOBBY: Well, I was - DEAN: Look I got a possible lead on Lilith in Maine. But we're on a case in Reno, I texted you the address, so if you're done sitting on your ass…

To John waking up in his car, returned to the past and thinking his trip to the future was a dream:

[The Impala is parked near a lake. JOHN sleeps in the front seat. He’s back in 2003. His cell phone rings on the dashboard. He wakes up and answers the call.] JOHN: Dean. No, I’m okay. I just… I just had one hell of a dream. Yeah. No, it was a good one. I’m on my way back. I’ll see you soon.

And at first I thought, oh hey look at these two incredibly similar scenes between Dean on the phone in the past and his two father figures who’ve just unwittingly actually seen a far-future version of Dean.

11.16 was about the “Soul Eater,” whose nest where he brings victims to feast on their souls exists “outside of space and time.” A place where Dean and Bobby could see one another before being returned to their respective places in time. And 14.13 also exists as a weird not-quite-real pocket in space and time.

But then I realized... In 11.16, Dean was calling Bobby to check out a lead on Lilith because he and Sam were much farther away... in RENO of all places.

Which will become significant again in 12.01, the first “official” Dabb era episode, as the place where John and Mary were married. And also the place where Chuck apparently ditched Amara in 14.20.

The mention of Reno one episode before 11.17 just struck me as significant now, and should for anyone who still believes that Red Meat is somehow glorifying the toxic codependency between Sam and Dean. Y’all need to watch that again and actually pay attention to what the episode does as a whole... Bobo has long been Dabb’s partner in crime when it comes to the big thematic stuff, and they literally co-wrote 11.17, kind of unofficially-officially establishing their start point for the eventual endgame. Billie, Sam’s mysterious resurrection, Dean’s self-sacrifice to barter his life for Sam’s and Billie refuses basically telling him this is not a story that can work like this anymore. And this was BEFORE she became Death. She reminded him that his next destination was The Empty, but then... Dean didn’t die. This episode literally established the defining elements of the eventual subversion of the entire narrative, which we’re seeing finally come to fruition after s14.

Can you see why so many of us were THRILLED by 11.17, and the implications of it, even back then? Because it was NEVER about glorifying the “old story” of Sam and Dean trading their lives for each other. It was about the pointlessness of it on a cosmic scale. And Dabb establishing his own in-story Avatar as showrunner in Billie, the symbolic death of the old spiral narrative. He just needed to bide his time until all the planets aligned and could make the direct run at the ultimate subversion of the original author (i.e. Chuck as Kripke’s avatar).

It made me interested to know the history of Reno getting mentioned in the narrative...

2.19: Folsom Prison Blues. Reno isn’t mentioned in the episode, but the title is from the Johnny Cash song:

When I was just a baby, My Mama told me, "Son, Always be a good boy, Don't ever play with guns, " But I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him die, When I hear that whistle blowin', I hang my head and cry.

Which is kind of interesting in the context of the episode taken with the context of all the later references. This was an episode where they deliberately committed a crime, deliberately got themselves “locked up,” not only to solve a case, but to help a friend who’d once saved their father’s life in wartime. At the end of the episode, yes, they stage their escape from prison, but their entire compulsion to help people they feel they owe even at the risk of their own lives or liberty, is sort of encapsulated in this episode. I can imagine Chuck’s fascination with these two, “my guys,” stars of his favorite show, choosing the selfless act this way when Chuck tried to keep forcing them to relive his opposite narrative-- one sibling over the other, one being locked up for all eternity while the other goes on happily creating the universe. The eternal conflict-sacrifice narrative... was always Chuck’s imposition on the Winchesters. Even Cain was confused by Dean’s choice in 9.11, not understanding why Dean chose to SAVE his brother rather than kill him, because Cain was living out just another version of Chuck’s story. This is why Sam and Dean are the exceptions, the version that Chuck just can’t understand, the ones who refuse over and over to accept that Chuck’s story must be *their* story. No matter how hard he’s tried, Chuck just can’t break their will. He can’t stop them from continuing to fight. Even now that Dean has broken and said yes to Michael. Even that couldn’t break his will in the end.

3.01: The Magnificent Seven. When Sam learns about Dean’s demon deal for his life, he begins trying to find ways to get Dean out of the deal and save his life. Tamara suggested to him that there’s a hoodoo priestess in Louisiana who may be able to help:

DEAN: Sam, no hoodoo spell's gonna break this deal, all right? It's a goose chase. SAM: Yeah, but we don't know that, Dean— DEAN (cutting him off): Yes, we do. Forget it. She can't help. SAM (trying to cut in): Look, it's worth— DEAN (speaking over SAM): We're not going, and that's that. What about Reno, huh?

And Dean tells him no, because if they try to get out of the deal, Sam dies. So said the demon he made his deal with, and Dean refuses to let that happen. He even refuses to tell Sam that fact yet, and diverts the conversation with the suggestion they go to Reno instead.

And this is the opposite of Chuck’s original choice, to sacrifice and lock up his sister so his creation could expand unfettered. Dean chose instead to sacrifice himself so Sam could go live that normal life he’d always dreamed of. This was just the beginning of the very long game Chuck would play with them...

Vaguely near the end of s4, and also 11.16:

Between April 17th - ~May 3rd, 2009: Bobby and Rufus investigate what they think is a ghost haunting a house in Grand Rapids, MI. Sam and Dean are in Reno

We never do learn more about the case they were working there, but it did give them a lead on Lilith. Remember that 4.20, the Rapture, takes place on May 3 that year, immediately after this point in the timeline. Castiel was about to try to reveal Heaven’s deception, and their role in breaking the seals to free Lucifer and was dragged back to be reprogrammed into an obedient soldier again. And he would break free of that two episodes later in 4.22, siding with the Winchesters over Heaven and sealing his own fate in a powerful display of free will.

8.21: The Great Escapist: One of the Biggersons locations where we see Cas pass through in his manipulation of quantum superposition to evade the angels is Reno, Nevada.

11.16: the other side of the “outside of time and space” meeting between s4 Bobby and s11 Dean.

12.01: Dean, in trying to convince a freshly resurrected Mary of his identity, and the fact that 33 years have elapsed since she died:

Dean: Dad told me. March 23, 1972 you walked out of a movie theater, Slaughterhouse-Five, you loved it. And you bumped into a big marine and knocked him on his ass. You were embarrassed and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So you went to, uh, Maroni's, and you talked and he was cute, and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number you gave it to him even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that you met- Mary: John Winchester. Dean: August 19, 1975 you were married, in Reno, your idea. Few years later I came along, then Sammy.

14.20: Amara is, according to the Lying Liar Chuck, in Reno... while meanwhile Billie, Jack, and the Shadow are having a double-secret conference in the Empty while Chuck unleashes Hell on Earth.

I’m wondering if we’ll ever hear mention of Reno again...

[fanficimagery]

Imagine moving to Midnight, Texas and being interrogated by the locals. All goes well until a group of supernatural Hunters target the small town.

Gen Fic X Reader

Midnight, Texas was unlike any town you've lived in, but after the last few months you've endured.. Midnight is a breath of fresh air. Given your budget the dusty little town was the only affordable place you could find, so you readily set down roots without any doubts. And after making sure your one bedroom place had electricity and water, you set up an air mattress and then set out to find some food.

Home Cookin' was the local to-go restaurant, so you made your way there. The patrons all enjoying their nightly dinner stare at you as you enter, but you pay them no mind as you take a seat in the back room and away from prying eyes. The waitress who takes your order is fairly nice and she brings out your burger rather quickly.

So far you've been left alone, but halfway through your meal three figures drop in front of you- two females and a male. The blonde woman is staring at you as if she's trying to figure you out, the dark skinned woman with beautiful bouncy curls is smiling tightly, and the guy is the only one who appears genuinely welcoming.

"Hi. Welcome to Midnight," he says. "I'm Bobo. The beautiful lady next to me is Fiji and the blondie at the far end is Olivia. We're the welcoming committee."

"Uhh.. okay?" You chew the bite of food in your mouth slowly, then swallowing. "I'm Y/N."

"What brings you to Midnight?" Olivia asks. And wow. Okay. Straight to the point it is. "Midnight isn't exactly a place people choose to live. They only come here when they're running from something. Or hiding."

"'Liv," Fiji hisses, elbowing her friend before pasting on a smile and redirecting it at you. "I'm really sorry about her. She's.. protective of our little town."

"I get it," you feebly grin. "And I appreciate the bluntness. I don't really care for toeing around."

Olivia faintly smirks at her friends. "See!"

"And well, I guess you can say I am running."

That brings Olivia's attention back on you, her smirk vanishing and eyes hardening. "From?"

"Life." You shrug. When the three locals just stare at you, you sigh and take a drink of your soda. "Look. I chose Midnight because it's a tiny town. I just lost my entire family. I was the only survivor and I- I just need a place where everyone knows everyone. I need to immerse myself in a town where everyone will be in my business and checking on me because I can't be alone. I can't! And I know that sounds weird and clingy, but-"

"No," Fiji smiles sadly, shaking her head. "That's sweet. And I'm really sorry about your loss."

You don't know you're crying until Bobo hands over a napkin and gestures to your eyes. You huff and quietly take the napkin, thanking him in the process as you wipe under your eyes. Five more people enter the back room then, all males and you tense. Especially when the bald, dark skinned man with eerie blue eyes stills and stares at you. The same happens with the man who seems to be the oldest of the group, though he shakes himself out of his stupor and smiles politely.

"Guys," Fiji says, "this is Y/N. She's new to Midnight, so lets all play nice."

"Hey, I'm Manfred." The cutest guy of the bunch introduces himself as he takes a seat two chairs down from you. He then gestures down the table. "The guy next to Olivia is Lem, the two handsome fellas hiding in the corner are Joe and Chuy, and the man at the head of the table is the good ol' Reverend. We just call him Rev though."

"Hello, everyone." You attempt to make eye contact, but fail in doing so. Clearing your throat, you take another drink of your soda before setting it back down. "It's nice to meet you all, but I think it's time for me to head home now."

"But you're not finished with your food." Fiji frowns.

"It's okay," you assure her. "I'm lucky I ate as much as I did in public. I tend to get nervous around large groups of people, especially new people."

"Oh. We're sorry, we can go if-"

"No! No," you chuckle nervously at Bobo. "It's fine. I really should get home and get my internet set up properly. I need to order some stuff or else I'm going to be on an air mattress for some time to come."

After properly saying goodbye to everyone and unconsciously giving Lem and the Reverend a wide berth, you head on home.

One of the reasons you also chose to stay in Midnight was because of the odd energy the town gave off. It felt familiar and like home, and you felt at peace even when you realized why Lem and the Reverend gave you the heebie jeebies. They're supernatural. Just like you.

The main group of locals who had introduced themselves seem to be some sort of patrol unit- they always making sure everyone and everything was fine. Joe and Chuy, husband and husband, even helped you set up your home when the delivery truck came with your belongings a week later. Something about Chuy made your skin crawl, but Joe's smiling presence seemed to calm your racing heart.

Olivia and Lem mostly kept to themselves, but every time you've left your home you always found one of them keeping an eye on you. The Reverend was polite when you crossed paths and when you attended his brief sermons on Sundays, Manfred was a little odd and you sometimes caught him staring off into space and smiling or chuckling at nothing but air. And out of everyone, Fiji and Bobo were the kindest and mostly laid back of the bunch. 

You got to know the Midnight Eight, as you called them, and the more time that passed by the more at ease they became around you.

You're eating dinner in the mostly deserted restaurant when the doors bang open, Olivia and Manfred ushering in a mostly unconscious Rev. Fiji, Bobo, and Joe all dart to their feet and you shove your chair back in surprise as they lay the Reverend out atop the bar.

"What's going on?"

"Uh, Y/N, maybe we should get you home," Fiji is quick to say. "This is- you're not-"

"No! Nope," Manfred turns around, eyes frantic. "No one leaves. Lem and Chuy are on their way. The guys who did this to Rev are coming in hot."

Olivia huffs. "Why didn't Lem just, you know, take care of it?"

"Because they're human."

And there it is. You've been waiting for an opportunity like this to present itself so it could smooth the way for you informing them of your own secret, but the way the group keeps glancing at you has you holding your tongue.

Olivia groans. "What the hell kind of ammunition did they use?” She asks while checking over the Rev. “I've never seen anything like this."

Rev groans and Manfred grabs a towel from a lingering waitress to start dabbing up the Rev's sweat. "What does the wound look like?" You hesitantly ask. "Is there a.. smell?"

Surprised, Olivia glances at you before her eyes narrow suspiciously. "How did you know that?"

Gulping, you muster up enough courage to say, "Because the bullet that they shot Rev with is lethal to him. Just as it's lethal to me if it is what I think it is." Fiji gasps and everyone else shifts uncomfortably at your admission. "I wanted to tell you guys before, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It never seemed to be the right time. But now- I will tell you everything after we save Rev. Before we do that, however, I need to know if there are black veins fanning out from the bullet wound."

Manfred glances down and moves aside Rev's shirt. "Uhh.. yeah. Yeah there is."

You close you eyes and sigh. "Wolfsbane. It's lethal to all weres- werewolves, werecoyotes, werejaguars. Basically any and all shifters."

"Say we believe you," Olivia says. "How do we cure Rev?"

"We need the same strain of wolfsbane they shot him with." You cross your arms over your chest, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. "From what I remember reading, you have to get one of the same bullets they shot him with. Break the bullet in half and gather the wolfsbane from inside. Light the small pile on fire and then immediately smear the wolfsbane into the wound. For some reason, it counteracts the poison already in the wound."

"From what you've read?" Olivia asks angrily. "You mean you don't know if this is actually going to work?"

"I'm new to this world, okay?! But I did a lot of research on the things that could kill me because dying sucks. I don't want to go through that again, so yeah. I read. And I read a lot on wolfsbane. Rev has a lot of the symptoms I read about so you better hurry. The smell is only going to get worse and he'll get delirious soon."

The doors bang open yet again, Chuy and Lem then hurrying inside.

"They're coming," Lem says. "They would not be reasoned with."

"Well that's a good thing," Joe says. "According to Y/N, we need a bullet of theirs to save Rev." Chuy immediately rushes to Joe's side, both the men wrapping their arms around each other to confirm each other's well being.

Lem stares at you and you smile weakly. "Though these guys are human, it's kill or be killed with them. They're supernatural Hunters who will kill you- kill us- for being different. If you can't kill them, let me know right now and I'll do it."

Lem's eyes glow a faint blue and yours glow green in response. You jerk at the sudden flare of your eyes, you clenching your eyes shut and shaking your head to dispel the urge to attack. "Can you be trusted?" Lem then asks.

Exhaling shakily, you nod. "Yes."

"Okay. Then we'll follow your lead. What do we need to do?"

"First of all, all humans need to lay low. If you don't have nifty healing abilities, get down. If you're a shifter, any type of were, be extremely cautious."

"What about vampires?" Olivia asks, glancing at Lem.

"As far as I could tell, wolfsbane has no effect on vampires. Only vervain."

"I know of that plant," Lem says. "I did not smell any of that on any of the men."

You sigh. "That's both good and bad. These hunters know enough to bring wolfsbane to the fight which means they've been watching. It also means they're amateurs because if they've been watching, they would have noticed Lem's vampire status. Being amateurs makes them a lot more dangerous. They're out for the kill. We cannot handle this situation with care."

"We get it," Olivia huffs. "Just tell them what to do."

"Okay. Did any of you see which hunter specifically shot Rev?" Lem nods. "Then grab him first. We'll need his weapon to toss to the others so they can use his bullets. They'll know what to do." The sound of racing vehicles pierces your ears and you glance around at everyone. "Showtime."

Immediately, Bobo pulls Fiji down behind an overturned table. Manfred and Olivia pull the Rev down behind the bar amidst his complaints and grunts of pain, and Joe and Chuy enter a brief heated conversation before Chuy ducks out of sight. You stand your ground, nodding at Lem and Joe.

Joe frowns. "Shouldn't you be laying low?"

Biting the corner of your lip, you weigh your options. You've been careful to not shift for as long as you've lived in Midnight, so it's impossible these hunters know what you are. You want to fight, but you don't exactly want to be shot.

"I'm the ace up your sleeve," you mumble. Hurrying towards Olivia and Manfred, you duck down with them. "They'll think I'm human. I can surprise them mid-fight." Rev shivers and you glance down at him, frowning. "Has anyone taken the bullet out?"

"We have to take it out?" Manfred blanches.

"There's nothing small enough around to dig it out," Olivia says.

"Alright. I'll do it." Taking a deep breath and momentarily blocking out the voices of hunters nearing the restaurant, you concentrate on elongating your nails and only your nails. Flicking your right hand out to the side, your nails transform into claws.

Manfred grins. "Cool."

"Mhm. Hold Rev. Don't let him thrash about." Once he's secured enough, you stick your forefinger into the bullet hole and feel around for the bullet. Rev grunts and snarls, but you keep going. Then finding it, you dig back in with your claws and pinch it between two claws to bring it out. Once the bullet is free, smoke puffs out from the wound and you wince. "Definitely wolfsbane. And fast acting."

The doors bang open and you shake your hand to rid it of your claws. Pushing your hands down on Rev's wound to stop some of the oozing black blood, you hold your breath and avert your gaze as the taunting begins.

"Well, well, well. Looks like we got ourselves a monster mash, boys." Several deep voices chuckle in response. "We got ourselves a Dracula and Heaven's very own outcast thinkin' they can take us on. I see your resident tiger is out for the count."

"We have no issues with you, gentlemen," Lem says as diplomatically as possible. "We are a quiet little town and would appreciate it if you left in peace."

"Ain't no peace until you abominations are dead," someone spits angrily. "You ain't normal. A tiger, a vampire, a medium, a rebel angel, a hellspawn, and a witch! We gonna have ourselves a good 'ol witch burning."

Lem hisses just as a bright light engulfs the place, and then he speeds to a darkened corner as his skin smokes."

"Shit," Olivia murmurs. "They got a UV light."

Fiji screams and Bobo shouts, and you glance over your shoulder to see someone dragging Fiji by the hair. Bobo gets punched out as he tries to aide Fiji, and then Joe throws himself at the nearest hunter. When three hunters attack him, Chuy jumps into the fray. You move to help, but a hand grasping you by the wrist stops you.

"Don't," Manfred mumbles. "Not yet."

You close your eyes amidst the chaos, but when Fiji screams again you have enough. Whirling around in a crouched position, your shift is rather fluid- your skin changing color to a gray with darkened spots here and there, eyes green, nails turned into claws, and a mouth full of sharpened teeth. Seeing Fiji on her knees and crying, you roar in a rage.

Everyone seems to freeze in surprise and fear, the hunters all glancing around for the source of the roar. You push up to your feet with a fluid grace you didn't know you possessed and stalk towards the nearest hunter. Grabbing the UV light from his hands, you throw it at the nearest wall with all your strength and mentally smirk when it shatters. Lem flees from his corner, breaking the wrist of a specific hunter before tossing his weapon at Olivia. After that, it seems everyone snaps out of their stupor and the fight is on yet again.

Your anger builds with every hit and gun shot, and you spend half the fight dodging bullets. You manage to get your claws into one's man throat, you then crowding Fiji into a corner to keep other hunters away from her. Then with Fiji not terrified for her life, she's able to concentrate just enough to magically stun the hunters so Joe and Lem can take care of them.

Though the fight is now over, you're finding it hard to shift back. Your adrenaline is still pumping and with the way Lem and Joe are now watching you, it's hard to be calm. "Y/N? Can you let me out of the corner, please? I need to check on Bobo."

A hand touches the center of your back and you flinch. Joe startles as if he was about to restrain you, but inhaling deeply and letting it out slowly, you step aside and let Fiji pass. Something roars and growls, and you glance around before your gaze settles on Olivia and Manfred working furiously on Rev. It appears they've smeared burning wolfsbane into his wound, so you know he's going to be okay.

Finding a chair, you sit heavily in it. You lean over so your elbows are resting on your knees and you hide your face in your hands. Working on your breathing, you concentrate in order to change back.

"Sourpatch?" Your head snaps up, eyes wide and mouth agape. Manfred stands a few feet in front of you and he keeps glancing to his left as if someone were standing there. "Y-You did good, sourpatch, but now it's time to turn back."

"You're the medium," you realize with complete awe and heart aching. The nickname Manfred suddenly used is something your dad used to call you and quickly connecting the dots, you glance at Manfred's side as your eyes water. "Dad?"

"He says to breathe. In and out." Manfred conveys for everyone who can't see ghosts. "The fight is over. You have nothing to fear from these people."

Your bottom lip trembles and your eyes close as the tears fall. "I miss you."

"He knows, sourpatch."

Huffing a laugh, you concentrate once more. With everyone seemingly holding their breath, it's easy to find your inner strength and shift back to your human visage. When your eyes open again, you stare down at your hands to make sure the change took. Then glancing up at everyone, you feebly grin. "Hi. So that was.. me."

Everyone has formed a half circle in front of you, only Rev and Bobo sitting in chairs as they get their bearings back.

Lem nods. "You have good control for someone so young."

"I had to learn. When I first changed, I didn't know what was happening and I accidentally killed a couple of truckers at a truck stop." The memories of that night comes rushing back and you sniffle. "I hated that feeling. I never wanted to go through that again."

"Yet you were willing to kill these hunters here tonight."

"That's different. The truckers were innocent. Their blood is on my hands. But these hunters, they came here with an agenda- to kill you. It had to be done."

"So how did all this come about?" Olivia asks, gesturing at you. "When were you turned?"

"Less than a year ago," you say. "My family and I were camping. One minute I'm asleep and the next I'm being woken by my mother screaming bloody murder, my father shouting, and my siblings crying. There were gun shots, roaring and snarling, and the squelch of flesh being ripped apart."

Rev blanches even more than he already was. "Dear God."

"My siblings and I ran for it. We were hunted down and gutted. Mostly." You shrug. "I took a hand full of claws to the belly. I guess the monster thought he did a pretty good job of slashing me open that I'd just die. Little did he know, his claws dug just deep enough to kill me and then change me. He made me, unknowingly, into the monster I am."

Lem steps forward, hands clasped behind his back. "Monsters do not fight for people they've only known for a few weeks. Monsters do not feel remorse," he says, bowing his head out of respect. "You, my dear girl, are no monster."

"But-"

"No buts."

Bobo groans and shifts forward, holding his head in the palm of his hands. Fiji fusses over him and hesitantly climbing to your feet, you make your way over. "May I?" Holding out your hand, Bobo looks at you in confusion. But he soon realizes you want his hand and the second his hand lays in yours, you grasp him gently and siphon away the pain.

"Whoa." Bobo's eyes widen as dark veins appear from the crook of his arm down to his wrist, the veins then mirroring onto your own arm. "What's that?"

"It's your pain." You grimace as the seconds tick by, you then releasing him. "There. That should do for now. You'll still need medicine or whatever magic Fiji can work for you."

"Thank you."

You nod in response and freeze when you notice everyone staring at you. But instead of their deadpan expressions, or even wary ones, they're all grinning and smiling.

"See? Definitely not a monster," Manfred muses. "You're just a giant softie."

"Watch it, ghost whisperer."

Olivia snorts and Manfred's grin only widens. "You'll fit in just fine, sourpatch. Don't even sweat it."

[mtvswatches]

Wynnona Earp 1x04 The Blade

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) We got a flashback of Doc’s final moments with Wyatt Earp, and he made it look as if Wyatt didn’t believe in demons and such… how could that be? And how reliable is this flashback if Doc is the one relaying the events to Wynonna?

2) He’s a fucking show-off and I’m falling…

3) I SHIP IT SO HARD

4) Finally an explanation! Sort of…

DOC: I made a barter for eternal longevity. Cured me of chronic tuberculosis and freed me from the ravages of time, unless I catch a bullet, a knife, or an oncoming train.

But… in episode 2, with the shadow monster that was hunting Wynonna and Waverly, he did say that he wasn’t going back to hell or something like that… so… did he make this deal while he was in hell? Or did he visit the kingdom downstairs after making the deal? And what is he, exactly? He’s not a ghost, he’s not a revenant.. is he just An Immortal?

5) I mean, everyone is in purgatory because of “unfinished business”, that’s the definition of purgatory…

6) Monster of the week?

7) Why are Waverly and Wynonna having the conversation about Doc just now? That is major news, why didn’t talk about it before?

8) You do not mess with Wynonna’s sisters…

9) Why is the heir walking into revenant territory without any backup whatsoever?

10) Oh-oh…

BOBO: Now you see, that's that wild imagination, always gets you into trouble. You'd think that after all the months in St. Victoria's Psychiatric, you would know the difference between what is real - and what ain't.

So, like Buffy, Wynonna was committed to a mental institution because of her “delusions” about monsters and demons…

11) At first, I was like, why is Bobo letting them find Father Malick so easily? And then he went “tick-tock, tick-tock” just like the dude that got out of the mirror and I’m like… hmmmmm… something smells fishy here…

12) What a charming fellow…

He HAS to tell me where he gets his nails done OMG!

13) This is definitely the dude from the mirror…

I guess you can only see him in the mirror, for some reason?

14) So this monster (is it a revenant? I’m not sure, he doesn’t seem to behave like revenants and he’s crawling out of mirrors…) chases down sinners and haunts them until they repent and are forgiven for their sins?

15) I’m not gonna lie, I have a huge lady boner for Doc. Like, every time he’s on screen and he speaks with that freaking accent… I die a little.

16) I’m guessing the guy having drinks with Doc will be the next one to be killed off by razor guy.

17) Yep, he’s already listening to Kesha on the mirror.

18) Oh shit, Megan killed Samantha’s father because she took of in her boyfriend’s car because she’d caught him cheating on her with Wynonna… And that’s why she’s dead now… That’s some messed up butterfly effect…

19) Yep, and now Razor Guy is going after Doc.

I wonder whose forgiveness he will be forced to ask for in order to be spared…

20) This was… cringy…

21)

DOLLS: You know what I see in your eyes? A man who doesn't like small spaces. You been in prison? Solitary confinement, ooh.

I’m gonna go ahead and predict that the “solitary confinement” was in his coffin…

22) I guess all “sinners” are somehow connected to Wynonna…

23) Oh, shit!

RAZOR DUDE: Repent, Wynonna Earp. Two hours to find forgiveness from the souls you've hurt.

Who will she have to apologize to? And how long is her list?

24) HA!

25) This is such a Spike move!!!

DOC: Waverly, you have put together the most thorough resource on the revenants. You are one natural-born investigator, just like your great-great-granddaddy, and I reckon, the true keeper of the Earp flame. Can't blame you for being miffed

Yoko Factor much?

26) Please tell me that there is a parallel between this scene and Willow scolding Angel/Giles or Xander/Cordelia under similar circumstances…

27) Holy fuck this shit was scary!

28) She’s such a dork!

WYNONNA: OK, water! That's reflective, right? OK. So what if his body is in water? What if he's using the water to project himself?

29) I don’t get why they’re shooting the reflection, though. I mean, I would be trying to shoot where the dude is supposed to be standing in order to be reflected in the lake or the mirror or whatever surface, you know?

30) WTF!!!!

31) Fucking Doc is the one who chained and threw him into the lake. Should’ve figured it out.

32) Oh, so this is what Waverly was so miffed about…

I kind of disagree? I get that Waverly is the sister who had been preparing to be the heir. She’d done research, she didn’t run away, she was trying to find the revenants, she embraced the family curse. But ultimately, the rightful heir is… well, the rightful heir. It is destiny, and even if Wynonna is not yet totally on board with the Chosen deal, it is part of her journey. This is something that you don’t get to choose, it chooses you.

33) It’s so satisfying to watch them burn.

34) UGH I LIKE THEM SO MUCH!!!

DOC: I do not have much in this world, besides memories and regret. It would be nice for you to have more.

And he admitted that the last encounter with Wyatt he’d told her about was a big fat lie…

35) I get it, Waverly.

I spent years compiling research on the revenants. I did a four-year university degree by correspondence on ancient cultures and languages because I thought that maybe… maybe I could break the curse. And you, who's never tried to be good at anything in life, got to be the special one while I just got to be Waverly.

But… I think what they need to figure out is that they can actually do this – fight the revenants, break the curse – together. Waverly is actually the reason Wynonna came round to accepting her gig as the Heir. They’re the brains and the brawn, they make a great team, and the sooner they figure that out, the easier it will be for them to beat the revenants, you know?

36) Doc’s real last encounter with Wyatt was not as friendly as the one he’d shared with Wynonna. Wyatt could not forgive Doc for making a pact with the devil to become immortal – and what did he do, btw, sell his soul or what? – which was probably what the Razor Dud was going after him for. The problem is, he will never be able to get the forgiveness he obviously needs. But of course, he has to be so extra about his misery…

37) I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. Even though it was about a Monster-of-the-week, it was super fun and said monster was used to bring up some issues among the characters as well as to bring them closer together. I really liked how they’re becoming their own Scooby Gang – Wynonna, Waverly, Dolls and Doc (is the alliteration on purpose?) Even if they’ve been forced together because of circumstance, they don’t even like each other most of the time, and they’re all so different, they still work great together. I’m very excited to see how all these relationships develop!

38) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[jandyrwoman]

Yes, it was a virtual slap to your faces you arrogant, smart-ass, know-it-all people!

Mahatma Gandhi once said "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." - That's what happened in this election too... Though the count from the start really isnt comparable, you could have had invited a few more o your camp. But heck, people doesnt want to listen to you anymore! Because we dont feel you want to listen to us too! Why bother really! The most effective way to communicate is to understand how your masses be reached, not by how you communicate-but you adjust to them because you want them to listen. You needed them, so you adjust to them!

Imagine being the other side of the story, when someone approaches you like that, would you still want to listen? Would you still want be "educated" when they already judged you and made you feel horrible of your life choices, made feel you're wrong and you're the most dumbass anyone can ever be.

During the election day, my chosen President wasn't either of the top 2. I have my reasons! So please. SHUT.UP! But if numbers were close, I know i should vote for either. But a friend sent me an initial vote count and it was farrrrr so I decided to vote for my first chosen candidate. Now looking back, i still cant decide really which to vote if ever... I'm like, I wouldn't vote for M because I'm scared of what he could do in the future-he sounded so smart and knows what he's doing(sounds he can turn things around his way) during interview w/ Boy Abunda. While I really find your Mama to be "bobo", sorry for the term(Guess we just expected too much of her given her credentials so and so), though her interview w/ Boy Abunda wasnt really bad... So I still wouldn't vote for your Mama because... because I don't want to give what you want me to do(though i feel that's the more right choice between the two), but i want you to bleed so bad, i hated you that much! Did i say its your fault too? I didn't say so. Going back... yes, its not anymore about this election, but how you made me and the people feel. Wala man mu giunsa! But you planted hatred in the hearts for those who didn't(Meaning supporters sa 8 other candidates ha, inana ka wide inyung kaaway) choose your candidate. Mas daghan mi! You could have been gentle. I hope we all learn from this!

Let us all learn to never fly too high, keep our feet on ground and learn to communicate effectively. Don't be too proud, proud wouldn't bring you anywhere. ALSO! I btw hate your after-election comments about people not thinking about their future for voting bla bla bla... PLEASE PEOPLE! Have you not thought they were actually thinking about their future as to why they voted for someone else and not your candidate? We have different opinions and beliefs, but we all have common reasons... we just end choosing different people we believe will help us make that happen.

Now calm your mind. Try again in the next 6 years.

[takadasaiko]

38 & 40? Bobo & Waverly? thank u

FFN I AO3

Summary: Waverly just needs a little hope that her childhood friend wasn’t completely a lie. Prompt #38: “Everyone keeps telling me you’re a bad guy.”

Who He Was (Fallen Series)

She hadn’t told anyone where she was going. Not Wynonna, not Doc, and not even Nicole. They would have wanted to go with her. To protect her, but this was something she had to do alone. This was something she needed to face alone, and as those gates pulled open and she saw them watching her warily, she knew they wouldn’t touch her.

No one harms the baby. My word. My law.

For those that were there in the trailer park, Bobo Del Rey’s law still stood and they wouldn’t risk his wrath by harming a hair on Waverly Earp’s head.

She’d been there before and she thought she remembered there being more people. The humans must have left the park and between how many Revenants Wynonna had put down so far in her tenure as Heir and those that had fled to Bulshar’s side, there weren’t many of those left either. Fewer than she had assumed, at any rate, and while she knew Bobo had said that he’d bring as many to the fight against the demon that had cursed them all as he was able, the Call had taken many away.

“Lost, little Earp?” a voice asked and Waverly spun, wishing now that she’d brought her shotgun with her. No. She was there in peace. This one was just trying to spook her.

“I’m looking for Bobo.”

“She’s looking for Bobo,” another Revenant chuckled, pulling Waverly’s attention in the opposite direction. “You’ve got guts, Little Sister, coming here.”

“That’s enough.”

Both Revenants shrank back at the deep, snarling voice and Waverly saw Bobo Del Rey rounding the corner, his eyes flashing red as he looked at them both. “Go.”

One word was all it took and they ran, tripping over each other to get away. She watched red fade back to blue, the darkness around his eyes easing back to his natural pale, and there was something almost worn about his expression. Like he was being stretched in too many directions these days.

He turned those tired blue eyes on her. “I told Wynonna to be patient. Not in her vocabulary, is it?”

It took her a moment to realize what his immediate thought had been. It made sense. It wasn’t like she’d gone out of her way to seek him out a great deal since he’d joined their side. “Wynonna didn’t send me. I came to see you.”

That startled him and his gaze shifted, sweeping the area. When those blue eyes came back to meet hers she saw him tilt his head, motioning to follow. She did, and as she had to quicken her own pace to keep up with his long stride a flash of memory broke loose to the front of her mind of a little girl skipping to keep up with her large, fur coat-clad friend that everyone else thought was imaginary. Her secret best friend.

Bobo led her to a trailer with a canopy stretched out from it, a foldout table and a couple of lawn chairs next to it. She saw maps of Purgatory and the surrounding area on the table, pencils lying next to them and it looked like he’d left his work very suddenly. He’d heard her voice and come running. Probably without even stopping to think about it with as quickly as he’d covered the space between the trailer and where she’d been.

“What’s so important that it’d bring you here?” he asked, his voice gruff and irritable.

“Should I not be here?”

He quirked an off-colour eyebrow at her. “Ain’t the smartest move you’ve ever made.”

“They won’t hurt me.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“You won’t let them.”

His expression was guarded, but there was a flicker of something just behind it and he pushed a short breath out through his nose, bending back over his table and his maps.

Waverly waited a long moment before walking over to one of the chairs and taking a seat, sinking down lower than she had expected in it. Silence stretched between them and he seemed content enough to let it as he studied whatever it was that he was studying, her eyes fixed on him. “I’ve been… thinking a lot about my childhood recently. About you and me and our friendship and… exactly what that meant. You were one of the most important people in my life when I was little.” He didn’t look up, but he didn’t tell her to shut up either. “You were this… giant that would chase away everything scary. Even though you never came to the house - I guess you couldn’t, could you? - I used to think that you would come scare off any monsters under my bed. They wouldn’t dare come for me because I was your angel and you would protect me.” His scribbling had slowed, so she knew he heard her, even if he was doing his damndest not to respond. Waverly pursed her lips together. “Who are you really, Bobo?”

The pencil finally stopped and she saw him hunch just a little more. “You know what I am.”

“I didn’t say what. Who. Who are you really? Wynonna told me what she saw in her vision quest. Robert Svane was a good man. He was friends with Wyatt Earp-”

“Keep your voice down,” he growled.

“- and knowing you like I did as a kid, I can believe that now. I just… everyone tells me you’re a bad guy. And you are, but you’re not. Who are you really?”

Bobo sighed, straightening and running his hand through across his now white mohawk, smoothing the wild hair down a little, and Waverly waited as patiently as she could. Finally he set his pencil down, turned, and took a seat in the chair next to hers. “Fine,” he said at last. “What do you wanna know?”

There it was. The opening she really needed. Waverly found herself smiling and she opened her mouth to let the first question tumble out, closing it again as she realized that she couldn’t ask them all at once. She had to choose one. Should she start small and work her way up? That really depended on how many questions he gave her. If he got frustrated or bored he might cut the conversation short. She had to be careful. She had to choose wisely. “Why me?” Or just ask the one that burned the deepest. That worked too. “If you’re not my father, why me?”

“I never said I was your father.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“You’re kin.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you’re kin.” He reached a hand up, his thumb working at the inside of the bridge of his nose. “It’s not a simple question. Not a simple answer and… There are bigger things to focus on before I can tell you. You ain’t a Revenant, if that’s what you’re scared of.”

“I’m not scared.” He snorted a laugh and she shot him a glare. “Fine. Why’d you stop coming to see me when Daddy died?”

She watched the very subtle changes in his expression and there was a hint of sadness there. “I was… trying to do right by you. Angels don’t need to live in a demon’s shadow.”

Her lips curled just a little at the corners and she caught his gaze. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re kinda a drama queen?”

“There’s that judgy Waverly again,” he teased, and there was something about it that felt right. That hint of a smile that made it to his eyes, the way his tone lightened. She remembered it. She had held onto it for a while, hoping that he’d come back for her. He’d told her once that he’d thought about saving her too. If he’d asked her then, she would have gone willingly. She would have lived out her childhood with her Bobo, hoisted up on his shoulders and sleeping curled up in his coat. She could have very easily have told him yes. She would have told him yes.

Waverly blinked, a tear slipping down her cheek and she sniffed hard. Another question. She needed another one that wasn’t quite as close to home. Her thoughts about what he’d said in that treehouse led to the next one. “Willa. What was the deal there?”

“The deal?” he echoed.

“Did you love her?”

There was a long pause and he refused to meet her gaze. “Yeah.”

“Did she love you?”

“Sometimes.”

“How did that… work? You have to see how creepy that was, right? I mean, I get that everyone’s really young compared to you, but, I mean, you stole her away at thirteen.”

“I didn’t steal her anywhere. I saved her when the others wanted to do…” He stopped, his teeth clicking together and he looked like he was considering his phrasing. “Wanted to do terrible things,” he finished slowly. “Everything else came later. On her terms. It was always on her terms.”

Right up until the end, Waverly thought as she watched him. He looked so beaten down, so hurt, and she wondered if he’d heard the words Wynonna had told her that Willa had said. She’d left him to die. She’d been willing to leave him to die to get free. He had been collateral damage just like she and Wynonna had been.

She reached forward on impulse, her fingers touching the back of his hand and pulling his attention. “You put on a really good act, but I think they’re wrong. You’re not as bad of a guy as you want them to think.”

He blinked and she could see the way his eyes glistened just a little, trying very hard to hide those emotions. It was dangerous for him to show them, surrounded by the other Revenants like they were. These demons that he had to earn the respect of to make sure they didn’t desert them all for Bulshar.

Waverly gave his hand a quick squeeze before releasing it. “It’s okay. Your secret’s safe with me. I won’t tell.”

Bobo huffed and stood, gathering up his maps and rolling them. “C'mon.”

“Are those the coordinates that Jeremy’s been waiting on?”

“Who?”

“Jeremy. You know, about this tall, totally geeky in all the best ways? Used to work for BBD.”

“Oh. Junior.”

“You didn’t know his name, did you?”

He shrugged, the glint of a smile back, and Waverly rolled her eyes theatrically as she followed him towards the gate. Things weren’t going to somehow return to the magic, woodland princess fairy tale games of her childhood, but there was a chance they could find something new. He’d been her dearest friend once, then gone, and then her enemy. Sometimes things came around full circle. They took time, but she’d gotten what she had come there for. Hope. Hope that he hadn’t used her and hope that he wasn’t lying to them now. Hope that the man that Wynonna had met in her vision quest was the same one that had pulled her out of the icy waters as a little girl. Hope that she could know who he was, not just what he was.

Notes: I’ve been having trouble with a Bobo and Doc fic I’m working on, so I decided to dabble in some Bobo and Waverly feels. That always seems to help.

[incarnateirony]

To the Nonnie that left a 5 parter in my inbox:

I am not going to post your nonsense.

I am not going to circulate your redefinitions, your new goalposts, your explicit deletion and argumentation against a far larger bulk of openly identified bisexual people, and your raging. I have already addressed these, and they boil down to “You’re literally destructive to the LGBT battle while you think you’re being progressive.”

I am not going to be part in circulation people’s own manufactured dialogues they put between their own ears anymore.

You are not promised platform. You are not promised my inbox. You are not promised any specific performance from LGBT creators within the demographic they are writing the text that would be representative in if you have paid *zilch* attention to their working conditions.

In fact, you literally don’t even get to fucking pretend you’re here about representation while *overtly denying the words, sociopolitical representation commentary, and working conditions of the LGBT creators you’re hot dogging right now*. Half the fucking fight is also behind the scenes GETTING LGBT CREATORS CREATING, even if at times they’re limited. 

Representation isn’t just on screen, diversity in writing crews behind scene is the fight, and if you pretend it isn’t just to gang bang LGBT creators for not performing how you want, without *ANY* fucking human consideration for why things are the way they are? *You, deep down, don’t give a shit about representation, or production team diversity, or LGBT creators -- you give a shit about getting exactly what you want exactly the way you want without even recognizing that may not be universal to LGBT people as proven by my notifs right now -- and largely with the reductionist point of wanting to win against trolls on the internet at which point YOU HAVE LEFT THE REPRESENTATION WHEELHOUSE (x); or if you do truly believe what some rando -- probably a woman, rather than the LGBT male POV -- said, you need to DRAMATICALLY RE-ALIGN AND CONSIDER YOUR POV*

“The whole idea of representation” that you have is close, but still a made up thing. It’s what perfect representation is. It’s not what the battle is. It’s never been what the battle is.

So just because you’ve dreamed up, say, a GA opposed to you, while the GA openly fucking talks about all this shit (right down to “marriage/dark point in the romance/divorce/breakup), on non-fansite major news publications, rather than fangirls that are scared of losing their website traffic in this fucking bog of bitterness, liars, extortionists and tinhats?

It doesn’t fucking matter.

Text is text is text. Queer text is queer text no matter how upset you get on if it was *visible* enough for you. That will continue to stay true. It will continue to be true when you make GA monsters in your head that don’t exist anywhere in reality. It will continue to stay true when you want to argue with a clout monkey that doesn’t even believe what they say. It’s going to be true. 

It’s fine to want more visible text. That IS the nature of the fight. The nature of the fight is NOT deleting low visibility text. And i’m going to ask you to PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FUCKING HOLY, ACTUALLY EDUCATE YOURSELF ON LGBT MEDIA HISTORY AND THE REPRESENTATION BATTLE.

Not just a random link convenient to someone’s article that vague blogs the general history. Actually educate yourself if you’re going to get in this fight because HOLY SHIT the children that have tried have *MISERABLY FUCKED UP* and then quite unfortunately normalized that fucking up, that everybody thought it was the new brand of woke because of herd mind.

If you’ve internalized enough phobia from the abusive manipulations within this fandom that you’ve convinced yourself bisexual people are *SO DAMN INVISIBLE* that nobody gets what’s going on while the GA is all “SHIT MAN THEY GOT A DIVORCE T_T”, that’s a you thing.

I am not your therapist. I am not your mother. I can not *force* you to get in touch with what the GA, or the creatives, or anyone else has said on anything related to this content, because I’ve been blogging it all and here you are, clearly not reading any of it. I can not force you to stop erasing LGBT text you, personally, nonniemcnonface, don’t like the visibility of. BUT I CAN STRONGLY ENCOURAGE IT.

But nobody owes you anything. Not my inbox. Not the platform on my blog. Not *your, specific, preferred, very precise point of view*. When you are a middle aged LGBT cis man raised in the 80s in patriarchal environments, and/or hold a great deal of conversation explicitly with the demographic and its representation in question, and by that I mean not 1, 2, 3, or even just 10 LGBT men within a step of that demographic. Because that’s the story of the character being told. It’s not *your* story. It’s a story you may resonate with depending how close to it you are. But *that* is what representation is: creating a universal platform of diverse, queer stories until it is saturated into the media to such an extent you *will* eventually find someone that ticks all your demographic boxes when you turn on your TV (be that race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability, or whatever else.) Demanding everyone’s unilateral demands be met when they aren’t even in the intersectional demographic isn’t representation. It’s tokenization. It’s the exact same way we end up with stereotyped gays to try to fit everyone’s “visibility” wants. It’s why there IS such a problem with LGBT male and, most explicitly, bisexual male representation. You are making half of the problem unto yourselves.

Until then, you don’t get to talk over those people. No matter how many anons you send thinking it sounds *gr8* because you haven’t read the entire discussion, you just got *mad* at part of it and didn’t want to introspect. That? That’s a problem.

Let’s say you work at Subway and they say you can only put 6 olives on a footlong without charging extra. Your boss vaguely holds that up but doesn’t micro count your olives so sometimes you give them 7 or 8 because you feel bad, and you want to give as much as you can to the customers. But if corporate notices somehow you’re burning through a shit ton of olives, it doesn’t matter what your intent is. It doesn’t matter if your manager agrees. If corporate comes down and tells you to stop putting down extra olives, you have a choice to completely quit/be fired from making sandwiches for people or to comply. Or, at least, to wait long enough to squeak new extra olives in.

*WelComE tO thE coRporAte chAIN and AduLT reALitY* -- Bobo sitting here piling as many olives on as he can until magically suddenly stopping for a year at a time and then y’all are bitching because he didn’t put the whole assed olive tree on your sandwich. When you get up to the counter, and start throwing a goddamn shitfit, you are now Karen. Don’t be Karen.

And no, Karen demanding that if she can't have as many olives as she wants then nobody should get any olives and to stop putting down olives is not anywhere in touch with functional reality.

And UNTIL you learn to pay attention to what the LGBT cis male raised in the 80s middle aged author on crew says on *this specific topic*, who was writing on sociopolitical LGBT representation issues probably since you were in *diapers*, and the methodology and struggles therein? You don’t really get a say. Once you’re able to sociopolitically contend with what that very author postured about representation *16 years ago* and have an equally well addressed set of points, then you can at least hold debate with his ideas. Until then, this is “WHAT I WANT BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”

Go away.

Like god fucking damn Bobo “I stand in front of ICE walls”, “fuck every candidate but Bernie sanders” Berens, highly progressive left wing sociopolitical queer author still fucking understood incrementalization 16 years ago can you all fucking CATCH UP?

He didn’t fucking like it, but he understood it. He addressed it as a necessary evil that has been formative in our process and progress and expansion in visibility. You don’t have to like it either, but just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t *understand* why it works like that. Just like “text that isn’t visible enough for you is still text”, “real world issues and methods you don’t like are still real even if you don’t like them.” Bobo got it. Your turn. Cuz he doesn’t have to like his working conditions. But he can work through them the best he can. And addressed this many moons before ever writing his first SPN episode that was the first recorded time a showrunner told them to lean into it being played like lovers. Yeah. That? That was Bobo’s episode. In fact, 99% of the shit y’all uwu about is Bobo’s. Steve. Collette. The mixtape. The breakup. Gosh golly gee it’s almost like he’s fighting his ass off to tell you a story in what incremental methods he’s allowed and you’re all just trying to fuck him for it. Hell even this episode in question, Jeremy’s, Jeremy went out of his way to thank Bobo for all his guidance and help.

We’ve made progress via incrementalization, and just because you can name a few other shows that have entirely different bankrolling, marketing, distributions, demographics, that HAvE gAy shIT doesn’t mean shit. You don’t think every product a store sells comes from the same production line in the same premises with the same materials and the same target audience when they sell a wide brand of merchandise, do you? I promise you Great Value macaroni is managed and distributed differently than LED light bulbs and bicycles. These are not the same products.

The presumptuous, self-serving, personalized and franky manufactured wants and demands cloaked in a representation suit while choosing to do active harm to what progress we have -- intentionally ignorant to the actual representation battle and imagining what it is, and is like, and is about -- literally talking over the long-standing voicebox of an LGBT creator making the content who has been ENGAGED. IN THIS FIGHT. SINCE MOST OF YALL. WERE IN KINDERGARTEN? It’s fucking gross. It’s manipulative. It’s abusive. Maybe you’ve been manipulated into not understanding that, and you really believe what you say, I really don’t fucking know. But I do know you need a HUGE crash course in HOW THIS ALL WORKS and WHAT THE TARGET POINTS AND METHODOLOGICAL TARGETS ARE.

There is no magic clap on clap off bullshit. That isn’t how. It works. If it worked like that, we wouldn’t HAVE a fucking fight. (Imagine thinking that critically. Please, I beg you.)

[thewaywedo33]

Wynonna Earp 2x07 Thoughts and Faves

There seems to be something special about a Wynonna Earp episode seven. Much like 1x07, this episode feels like a point in the season where everything starts to gel together and hurdle forward at a rapidly increasing pace.  Also, Wynhaught goodness was the cornerstone of this episode, much like last year.  Version 2.0 was awesome, to say the least. Shall we dig in?

In the opening scene Wynonna realizes Mercedes and Beth are connected to the Widows. I’m glad we’re moving into the cat and mouse stage between protagonist and antagonist. It was a delicious tension throughout Season 1 with Bobo, knowing he’s the bad guy, but having to wait for him to make a mistake, or, as it turned out, make his big diabolical move. With five episodes left in the season, I feel like we’re exactly where we need to be.

The opening scene cemented a particular concept for me.  We wear the biggest blinders concerning the people we love.  Wynonna realizes Mercedes is different almost immediately, knows something is off about her in a bad way. Yet, even when all the signs were there, it took her months to acknowledge something was off with Waverly.  

After everything with Willa, it is understandable for Wynonna to have a particular desperation and need for Waverly to be okay, but she ignored major red flags. Waverly is a blind spot of sorts for her. We all joke about Wynonna being oblivious, but I don’t actually think it’s the case most of the time. We see her pick up on the changes with Mercedes right away.  Her quick wit and constant commentary is actually indicative of someone who’s well aware of the reality going on around her. The fact that she has blinders on when it comes to her own family (let’s face it, she did it with Willa too), stands out to me, and is extremely human and relatable.

Doc seemed somewhat frail this entire episode, and I’m not just talking about the obvious coughing in the homestead. Something about his voice and movements seemed off and lacking their usual lively charm. I know he’s got a few things going on with the baby situation, but it felt like very specific choices were made to show his health, and immortality, fading.  In a show like Wynonna Earp, I tend to assume scenes exist for a reason, and Doc’s car struggling to start seems like a metaphor.  “Cursed piece of junk” applies to both the car and to himself.  I’m fully expecting for the gang to have to figure out a way to save him from the death he’s skirted for multiple lifetimes now.

One might assume I’ve run out of things to say about Wynonna and Nicole at this point, but alas, I have not.  Their friendship is a slow build, and I appreciate the relationship development between them as much as the one between Nicole and Waverly.

Underrated moment of the episode: The murder callback to season 1.  In 1x07 Wynonna suggested they murder pancakes, in 2x07 she wants to murder science.  I’m a sucker for little touches like that.

It took two seconds for Wynonna to give in to Nicole when she asks who Wynonna thinks she’d rather piss off, her, or Waverly?  No one wants to deal with Waverly’s wrath. Special shout out to the thing Kat Barrell does with her face when she says “or your sister?”  Actually, special shout out to everything Kat Barrell does in this episode.  Her comedic timing is so good, and when played off Melanie’s timing, we get tight, hilarious scenes.

I love the way Wynonna refers to Nicole as “Officer Haught” when she calls her naïve. She’s starting to differentiate between the personality aspects she doesn’t understand/don’t mesh with her own, and the person Nicole is as a whole, who is someone Wynonna actually likes and respects.

And can we talk about how protective Nicole is of Wynonna now?  Sure, some of it is due to her being Waverly’s sister, but mostly, Nicole is just a solid, upstanding person who wants to protect of those she cares about.  Nicole knows she can’t defeat Revenants on her own, yet she tells Wynonna to jet when the danger becomes apparent, all the while planning to stay and get the saliva sample from Jonas herself.   Talk about going towards the danger.  Not to mention, she nearly gives herself alcohol poisoning to help Wynonna maintain her cover.

Then we get the wonderful face she makes when Jonas asks if the baby is his and she tells him no, only to have Wynonna tell him “maybe”.  Nicole is so upset. She doesn’t want Wynonna putting herself in any more danger than she has to, just like with Waverly.  I’ll never stop yelling about the two of them and their relationship dynamic, FYI.

I feel a bait and switch coming on, but not necessarily in the traditional sense. We have not one, but two instances in this episode of the camera/dialogue hinting that Waverly is the product of a demon and human.  Look, I think there have been too many comments and references for Waverly to actually be the product of both Ward and Mama Earp, but I think there’s something else at play too.  It’s weird to me how the camera pans to Nicole in the execution scene, right after showing Waverly, when Jonas says “Rumor is it’s happened before.”  It happens exactly when Wynonna says “That’s the problem with rumors, people tend to believe them.” Why?  I don’t know, but it’s niggling at the back of my brain. Might be a red herring, might be something else.  Either way, I love that this show makes me think about things this hard.

I’m glad Waverly finally shared her secret with Wynonna. They need to get to the bottom of this together.  They’re better, and stronger, when they have each other’s backs. The proof of it is all over this episode.  Waverly asking Nicole to stay with Wynonna so she’s not alone; Wynonna looking at Waverly before she shoots Jonas to get her verdict on the matter, and proceeding once she gets the little nod; “Ours” (catch me crying forever over that).  The Earp sister relationship is the lifeblood of this show, and it won’t matter a single iota if they don’t share both of the same parents.  The family you choose (related by blood or otherwise), is always going to be a more potent bond than one you have no say in.

I can’t finish this without mentioning the boys, because their B plot and interactions were delightful. I love the way Jeremy feels like the hapless little brother Doc and Dolls have to band together to protect (from others, and from himself).  And the Doc/Dolls beer share at the end was exactly what I want from their relationship. Much like Wynonna/Nicole, I think Doc and Dolls work best when they have a mutual respect and admiration underlying their differences and conflicts.

Miscellaneous Scrap Thoughts and Fave Lines:

-There were two fantastic moments concerning judgement in this episode.  First with the doctor, who I want to wrap up and ensure no harm comes to after seeing what happened to the blacksmith last year.  How important and amazing was her scene with Wynonna?  “I’m not here to judge.”  The care they are taking with the pregnancy storyline, while still staying true to the essence of the show, is astounding. 

I also really liked Wynonna and Nicole’s interaction at the strip club.  Wynonna may have joked “There’s so much more to judge”, but I think after Nicole hears why Wynonna used to work there, her judgement is over.  At the very least, I think she now understands there’s a myriad of reasons one might have for working in such an establishment, and making assumptions is not the way to go.

-“He must have roofied the Pinot Grigio.” �� Why do I find this line so funny?  I don’t think it works as well if she says any other wine.

-“Would you like me to draw you a diagram?  Because I will.” – Wynonna.  And then, Nicole actually does a diagram of sorts to Waverly, outside the strip club, and we have a perfect full circle moment.

-I feel for Jeremy and his Doc crush. “Not that I blame him for anything.” Oh sweetie, that is the worst kind of crush to have.  No one is infallible.

-I don’t think Nicole is actually gluten-free. There is no way an establishment like PussyWillows carries gluten-free beer, and Nicole was pretty much mainlining it.

-When Waverly cries, I cry, and I assume everyone else does too. I’m preparing my tear ducts for the rest of the season.

-Dolls fanboying over Bass Reeves is amazing.  I love when we get to see hints of his lighter side.

And hey, how about that Season 3 renewal?!  I can’t tell you how much it means to me that we aren’t done with this magical show in five episodes.

I started watching the show after the first two episodes aired, because someone tweeted the magical words ‘badass sister relationship’, which is my weakness, (probably because I’m one of three girls, we’re all horribly sarcastic, our childhood dynamics mirror the shows’ more than I care to admit, but I would go to hell in a handbasket for either one of them), and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.

Everything about Wynonna Earp is quality, from the cast, to Emily Andras, to the Earper fandom, to the wonderful talent we have producing podcasts, writing recaps and conducting interviews each week.  Thank unicorn we get another season.  But hey, I want more, so let’s get started on that Season 4 renewal push!

This show has such a potent grasp on my heart, and I don’t know that it will ever let go.  I’m okay with that.

[orionsangel86]

Do you still believe that Destiel will be canon? I've seen so much negativity about it lately and it's making me lose hope.

I got the above ask about a little while ago and I’ve hesitated to answer it for several reasons. 

Then yesterday, the boys announced the final season of the show next year, and last night I got this ask:

I’ve blocked this asshole obviously, but this nasty ask full of lies and hate has motivated me to answer the first.

First of all, let me be very VERY clear here:

No one has ever said Destiel is TOTALLY happening. Please get that right out of your heads. The only people claiming this bullshit are the ones who always attack meta writers and its the same old crap every time. Claiming we “gaslight” fans is a new one though. That word has really become in vogue lately hasn’t it?

No one is gaslighting anyone. I don’t get why people don’t understand this. All we do in this little meta community is talk among ourselves in the same way people have been talking about literature and media for centuries. It’s up to the reader to make their own assumptions. Our meta is not infallible. Every fan is responsible for their own expectations. Do not blame meta writers if you can’t manage yours. No one is claiming that they speak the ultimate FACTS. We only ever voice our opinions and interpretations because it is our passion to discuss and analyse and speculate. For anyone to hate on us for that just fills me with pity for those people tbh. I think you have to be a pretty pathetic person to send another person anonymous messages like the one above.

I won’t address the other bullshit in that crappy ask. It’s all just garbage spewed by a hater for the pure purpose to be hateful and try to get a rise out of me. But it has got me thinking about my current opinion of Destiel. Which is why I have finally decided to answer this ask.

Do I think it will be made textual? Right now I will admit that I am cautiously optimistic. The current narrative and direction of the story definitely has the potential for Destiel to be realised. Though I admit this opinion rests almost solely on knowing that Castiel’s deal with the Empty Entity will be a focus for season 15. If Cas never made that deal, I am not sure I would have the same faith. Having said that, there is still so much unspoken between Dean and Cas, and since this is now the endgame, I would like to think that the writers may choose to finally tie up some of these loose plot threads that have been gathering since season 8.

I live in the camp that believes that the creative team have intentionally been weaving Destiel into the narrative of the show for years with the hope that they can get a green light from the execs to bring it textual at some point. Destiel has got far too close to the surface level line for anyone to dare claim Destiel shippers are “delusional” now, even the antis stopped saying that in season 12 and instead cried “pandering” of the writing team. I still maintain my view that they crossed a line in Season 12 and in what I like to call the “season 12/13 escalation” which pushed Destiel to one of the main story plot lines and really drummed home just how much Dean and Cas mean to each other. They can’t ever now claim the fans imagined it after that. Too many people saw the escalation as romantic for them to do that.

So my honest opinion is that they must follow through on their intentions. Its the only way the show will rid itself of that horrible accusation of queerbaiting. Technically it is completely unfair to accuse any story of queerbaiting whilst that story is still being told. Only once the story concludes should we be assessing it and deciding whether to paint it with that brush. 

Yet SPN is a strange beast in that there are several factors to consider even then. I have faith and a lot of respect for the writing team, several of whom are LGBTQ+ people themselves. I just don’t believe that Dabb, Yokey, or Bobo would let us down here. They certainly aren’t intentionally queerbaiting us. I believe they are trying to tell this story whilst fighting tooth and nail behind the scenes with the CW suits to get Destiel approved. I also believe that now we have a solid end date in sight they will fight even harder for it, with the argument that they have nothing to lose by bringing Destiel to text and everything to gain (save for maybe the show being blacklisted in a couple of homophobic countries). Not bringing Destiel to text would actually be a far worse business decision at this point. Hopefully the suits are smart enough to agree to this - they should be, especially if they don’t want to appear completely hypocritical in light of their recent Dare to Defy campaign. 

So if it doesn’t happen I certainly WILL be angry, upset, and furious, and I will drag the CW through the mud all over social media and personally write scathing letters to all media and entertainment outlets I can get hold of to bring attention to how hypocritical they are - but what I won’t be doing is accusing Dabb & Co of queerbaiting, because I just don’t think that is what they are doing.

I consider it more like a Wayward Sisters situation. The writing team want it as much as we do, but the real decision lies with the suits. They’ll be the ones to blame. 

There is of course still the chance that we could get an ambiguous ending - one that is easily interpreted as Destiel but not obvious enough for the most stringent of homophobes to pick up on. I have very mixed feelings about this, but if I’m being realistic, this is probably the likeliest option. This show has always tried to cater to its entire audience, even though it knows that it’s audience has drastically different views on how it should end. An ending that attempts to cater to all, even if the story suffers for it, is still a very large possibility. As much as I like to believe that Dabb doesn’t give a shit about people bitching on Twitter, we have to be realistic and admit that Dabb doesn’t have all the power behind the scenes. Bob Singer and Mark Pedowitz are likely big influencers in how the story will end, and I can’t say I have much faith in either of them to actually “go where the story takes them”.

Hearing this final season announcement, I have a suspicion that the boys and the writing team already knew since at least when episode 300 was being scripted - simply because several things said in the show recently are now looking rather suspicious. John’s speech in episode 300 and Cas’s speech in 14x14 are both beautifully heartfelt statements about loss and enjoying the time we have with those we love. It all suddenly hits very close to home. 

So if we go by this theory, then I expect the next few episodes to be very interesting in terms of what they may reveal for the road to endgame - as this is very much the road we are now on, wherever it may lead. Misha calling the finale “epic” is something else I am heavily side eyeing. If Destiel does get a green light, then I expect we will start to see the signs of this - if not in the coming episodes, then in early season 15. We should see another escalation similar to what we saw in s12/13. Keep an eye out for these potential signs, and if they don’t appear, then we need to prepare ourselves for the worst, and resign ourselves to the fact that the suits probably got scared.

But remember, this is all just my opinion. Take authority over your own expectations, as it is impossible for me to make promises over things I do not know. Whether you have hope or not, you have to deal with it however you choose. Just... don’t be like that anon. Never be like that.