#not in this house though

[witchcraftingboop]

Unfortunately, because of my upbringing, if someone tells me about an unsuccessful crime, especially a dumb one, my first instinct is not "oh no let's comfort them" or "be safe, play nice with them." I start laughing.

Because wdym you went to fight someone for owing you money and their uncle threw a knife at your neck (light graze, he was more scared than anything) from across the parking lot? You lost a 5-to-1 fight cause you were so hot to jump you ran straight into an undercover ninja? Hilarious. What was doubly funny was how serious this kid's family was about it. Meanwhile I'm perched on their living room couch tryna not to bust my rib. I absolutely could not hold it in any more when ninja-starred boy's older brother started grumbling about going back to break the dude's kneecaps. Because that was the second funniest thing I'd heard that day, albeit tasteless and super cliche. There's a prime of his life uncle out in that parking lot whipping out and chucking butcher knives at your boys and you want to return?? And over only $200 no less?? I was beside myself, damn near inconsolable. I had to stop hanging out with them that day though, cause stupid was for sure catching in that household.

And then at my apt some other dumb ass was trying to steal cars, and all I can do is laugh. Because wdym you went through the effort of marking their shit and breaking in and you forgot to finish the YouTube tutorial on how to hot wire a car? I laughed my ass right back to sleep. Homie couldn't even get a Kia to start and all you need for them shits is a screw driver! Mans is marvelously lost, couldn't even pick a crime he could do. I had to give my boss photos of all the police and K-9 units posted in the parking lot, howling it up through the woods until the wee hours, to excuse the few days I was late. I was so overjoyed at having met such a supreme level of dumb ass in my own backyard that I'm pretty sure he still doesn't believe me. I've met a lot of car thieves but ain't a one just sit in a car and let the alarm blare like that before crying out and taking off. Shit felt like Christmas came early. I have never seen a grown man in a ski mask flail their arms dashing over ice like that neither. He kind of looked like Captain Jack Sparrow got caught up on land after a minor snowstorm; it was a decadent treat of a sight.

It's just so funny when people pick a crime and they suck at it. Whatever you're gonna do, be a great one, but especially if you're picking an illegal trade. Because I know my old friends would've split a side right alongside me to see how these wee bairns go about their shit.

And I'm not gonna pretend it's not funny to try to make an example of a kid over $200 and find yourself in the ER cause his uncle packed you and your friends up or like it's not hilarious to run hollering from your third attempt at stealing a car in the same parking lot. People are acting like clowns, and I'm loving the sight of this circus being in town.

[bloodyethanol]

im letting the days go by and i dont even have a beautiful house or a beautiful wife

[charcoaldustonmyfingers]

Little Shadow 1/2

[ 2/2 ]

I would mimic absolutely everything my immediate older brother would do as a kid. I’d get his too small shirts, I’d always play as player two, and I’d follow him around and play all sorts of games with him every chance I would get. I was his little shadow all throughout our childhood.

It gets annoying though, to have to entertain your little sibling when you just want to hang out with your friends. As we grew older we formed our own friend groups and got our own interests separate from one another.

I will always look fondly on those days though :)

[homoquartz]

a show doesn't necessarily have to be ABOUT queerness to BE a queer show. it's a cultural dialect that cishets don't quite speak.

edit: i gotta clarify that the shows do indeed still have to have actual queer characters in them to count

[bet-on-me-13]

Vampire Misunderstanding

So! Danny got adopted by Bruce Wayne, but he doesn't know that Bruce is the Batman. He is just supernaturally oblivious to all things Batman related going on in the House.

But he does notice that Bruce leaves home a lot at night, that he doesn't like to go out in the day and often has his parties at night, and once or twice he's caught Bruce with a bit if blood still splattered on his cheek.

So he comes to the only plausible conclusion. Bruce is a Vampire.

He starts trying to hint at the fact that he knows, but doesn't want to just go out and say it. What if Bruce reacts negatively to him knowing? He's dealt with enough Supernatural Beings to know that they don't like other people (and especially other supernatural beings) intruding on their lives.

So Danny decided to subtly hint at it.

He started asking questions like "So hypothetically, how would you deal with having a Garlic Allergy in Gotham?" Or "So if you had very sensitive skin that could sunburn extremely easily, how much cloud cover would you need to go outside?" And "So what's your opinion on a High-Iron Diet?"

Basically just tossing out questions and trying to Guage Bruce's reaction.

He thinks he's doing a good job!

...

Bruce is certain that he has adopted a Vampire.

Danny is a good kid, but he has a few oddities that are hard to ignore.

For one, his skin is constantly Ice Cold, but he never seens to be bothered by it. As if he was an Undead that didn't require Body Heat anymore.

He also seems to like Hanging out in the Graveyard outside, and when asked about it he says that he is comforted by the place. Just like the Vampires he has met in the past, who feel comfortable when surrounded by Death.

And of course the biggest reason for suspicion is the fact that Danny seems to be hinting at it to him.

He keeps asking stuff like "How would you deal with a Garlic Allergy in Gotham?", probably trying to hint that he is a Vampire who can't eat Garlic, or asking about easy to sunburn skin, saying that he is probably not a Daywalker.

Bruce hopes Danny will just come clean about it soon, he doesn't want to intrude upon the kid when he is so obviously nervous about how he will react.

[warlenys]

they’re insufferable

[nostalgicfun]

Feel free to share which is your favorite NOW in the tags, but this particular poll is about which you preferred as a child! ⭐ These are being grouped by a vague theme, so in a few days we'll do another one with more options!

Also, same rule as the last poll: REALLY popular choices (ATLA, SpongeBob, Scooby Doo, Pokemon, etc.) are overwhelmingly popular and have been omitted for the sake of seeing the results for other shows.

Notes: These are shows involving live action characters, no cartoons this time! The timeframe for these polls is generally "I was a kid in the mid-to-late 90s or early 2000s." Mister Roger's Neighborhood and Sesame Street are both multi-generational so they were not included to be fair to the show's with shorter runs 💖

[brawnie]

I know I’ve said it before but I will never get over the mom-ification of Robin in One Piece by the fandom because she is NOT the mom friend!!! She’s just the oldest woman in the crew she does not take responsibility over anyone she does not pack lunches she does not keep people from doing stupid stuff she encourages the stupid stuff! She is doing the stupid stuff! If anyone is the mom friend it’s SANJI that man might as well be buttoning the crews coats before they leave.

[cadaverette]

crocs will never be cute

[captainkirkk]

I want to see characters being taken care of in an explicit and worshipful way. Home-cooked meals. Hair brushed and braided by gentle hands. Little gifts just because.

I want to read about characters who are not used to kindness being bombarded by acts of service. This trope works romantically and platonically. Give me found family and acts of service - all the ways a character is wrapped up in wordless, explicit care after years of cruelty and having no idea how to handle. I need it.

[thankstothe]

this show rewires you fundamentally in 60 seconds and then just goes on to have more seasons. audacity

[notllorstel]

what if

[manny-jacinto]

BEST OF HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 02x04's TWEETS 

[heph]

05 x 04 | Still not boring ❤️‍🩹

[caffess]

Rip to the only reasonable Targaryen and her poor dragon

[chewytran]

happy 3 oct 11 ❤️🏠🔥