#not implying that i use my brother as a therapist

[sunnys-out]

What Rivalry? | Leah Williamson and Alessia Russo x Reader

A/N: Sorry this is a wee later than I thought, but I played soccer all day Saturday for charity and took Sunday to recover. Also, I'm a bit sad because the English defender I was talking to went back to England to renew her visa and I miss her lol so please enjoy this would make my day.

Based on this request

Warnings: Alcohol, implied smut, MDNI

Word Count: 2087

I had a thing for Arsenal players…Something about not only beating Arsenal in a game but then bedding one of the star English players as a Chelsea player, was something I loved. 

I was a Blue through and through, pops and my older brother played for the Chelsea men and my mum was one of the physical therapists at Chelsea. Being a Blue did not stop me from eyeing Miss Leah Williamson after each and every game we had against Arsenal.

“There she goes again, money on Leah rejecting her this time.” Kerr would elbow Millie as she saw me saunter over and see me place an arm around an already smiling Leah. 

Millie only blew out a breath, “yeah Sammy you already lost before ya even started, look at her…(y/n) got her wrapped around her finger”.

Sam only looked on and saw that my arm had now traveled to hold Leah’s waist as I stood whispering softly in her ear, earning a giggle from the normally stern faced captain.

“Ohhh yeah she’s a goner” Sam said with a laugh as both started back towards the tunnel. 

______________________________________________________________

Leah and I had an arrangement, obviously, and well the first time that I was able to have a taste of Miss Leah Williamson it was after a particularly hard game for Arsenal…made her keep the game jersey on for our first night together. 

Leah Williamson tastes like a good bourbon out with friends, a warm cinnamon candy during the fall, like a sunset, like the colors of autumn…She was addicting and tasted like the colors of the jersey she wore all bunched up above her chest as I took my time with her every single derby game. 

She never stayed, always leaving once I had finished and never returned the favor. Leah wanted some time to just let go of control and I was the one to allow that for her…that was months ago, see it was just an arrangement…that’s all it ever was going to be. It was always going to be something physical and nothing more…the way that I had intended but I found myself falling for Leah…ironically…shortly after I had shut her down when she had confessed to me. 

I remember when I tried to rectify whatever we had after I fucked it up when I had pulled her aside after a USWNT vs. England match.

______________________________________________________________

“Didn’t realize this was an Arsenal/Chelsea match? And bold of you to want to do something in the hallway…didn’t take that as your thing” Leah whispered the last part as she pulled me closer.

I put my hands on hers gently removing them from my jersey.

“No, Leah, I actually wanted to see if you were willing to go get a drink with me and you know actually talk?” Leah’s smile immediately drops at the realization and she takes a step back.

Her raised hand immediately stops me before I could continue,  “You don’t get to do this. I was heartbroken when you shut me down and I was like, "Fine, something physical as long as I can get to keep her around in some way”

She pauses to collect her thoughts and uses her next breath as her eyes grow stern, “But you can’t just shut me down and then realize you felt the same way. I don’t even think you actually have feelings for me…what about me do you like?” 

I shuffle my feet, the sound of my cleats on the hard floors of the hallway. 

“I still remember the first time…I still remember how you tast-” the English captain rolled her eyes and got close.

“You're really going to use what you said to me when you shut me down…it worked when you wanted to keep it physical..you being all poetic about the sex…but to use it when you actually want to prove that you want a relationship with me?” the space between us grew as I frowned.

The words now escaping me and a small, “You’re right, we shouldn’t keep doing this” escaped my mouth…Leah lifted my chin gently with her hand.

“Hey we both wanted it like this initially…so I can’t be mad at you…but you need someone who will want to stay with you even after the fact, take care of you, I don’t know…make you breakfast in bed or whatever… but that can’t be me…I’m sorry”. And with that Leah left the narrative…leaving me to not only sit with the 2-0 loss against England but also losing her completely

______________________________________________________________

Months and Months would pass and continue on…just like Leah did. She found herself with Jordan and well I was happy for her. There was a bit of bitterness in my mouth because I hadn’t found anyone who wanted to stick around in the morning.

Jessie Fleming, being my closest friend on the team, would always be there for my frustrated rants and she’d constantly reassure that there was definitely someone out there that “would put up with me and more”.

Jess’ way of getting me out of a funk was to prevent me from immediately going home after a Derby game. Of course, she would elicit the help of Sammy and Millie in convincing me that a drink with the Arsenal girls would not be such a bad idea.

“Come on, (y/n), ya can’t stay cooped up in your apartment all the time” Millie grabs me by the elbow after I had tried to return to my room.

I huffed as I sat on my couch crossing my arms, “I look ridiculous”.

“I think you look hot, come on, there were some new Arsenal signings so ya got options.” Sam winked as she finished up her pre-game drink.

I roll my eyes “weren’t y’all the ones giving me shit about getting with an Arsenal girl?” my hands going up and shaking “No, (y/n) come on keep the sanctity of the rivalry!” I mocked what had previously been said.

It was their turn to roll their eyes, “What rivalry? All I see is that you need to find someone” Jessie smacks my shoulder.

“Now come on, and don’t worry Leah won’t be there since her whole ACL thing” Millie says now picking me up from the couch  and pushing me out of the door.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia’s POV:

The bar was lively and we all had our own little booth away from the public so that we could all enjoy our time together. This was my first outing with the Arsenal girls since joining the team.

Lotte and Steph had reassured me that it was just a fun time with the girls and that the Chelsea girls didn’t bite. 

“So, who’s coming?” I yelled to McCabe as she downed the last of her first beer of the night.

She looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, “Why? Hoping for someone in particular, Russo?”

“No, just curious” I say while taking a sip of the beer in front of me. Thankfully, the darkness of the bar hid the obvious blush now creeping on my cheeks. I was waiting for someone in particular, (y/n) (l/n)...I’ve had a crush on her even when I was at Manchester United. 

I tried to swap jerseys with her and maybe swapped numbers but she was pretty to herself after games.

Katie seemed to read my thoughts, as a smirk played on her lips.

“Oh I know who…that girl is a tough one and that’s coming from me but she’s a sweet gal” 

Caitlin looked to the entrance of the bar and with a laugh “speaking of sweet gals, look at the who finally arrived. The Blues late as usual”

I look over and see Sam, Millie, Jessie and trailing behind them (y/n). 

“Sorry! Sorry, we had to drag this one out of her apartment” Sam said pushing (y/n) to the front. I, immediately, hid my face in my beer ignoring the dig from McCabe’s elbow into my side. 

I glance up and catch (y/n)’s eye. She had a curious look in her eye that then shifted to annoyance as Sam pushed her in my direction as she sat down next to me. 

(y/n) took her time to say hi to the rest of the girls and I suddenly felt McCabe’s elbow again. 

I realized that (y/n) was looking at me, “Oh sorry was a bit in my own world there”

She laughs a little and shakes her head, “No worries, I don’t mind it…I’m (y/n),  congrats on signing to Arsenal, you played well in your debut by the way, Alessia” 

The way my name sounded in her mouth made me melt into a puddle right then and there and I only snapped out of it once she got closer so as to not yell is what I told myself.

“I’m going to go get something stronger, want to come with or are you going to be nursing that beer the rest of the night?” she said just enough for me to hear.

I honestly think she felt the heat from the blush on my cheeks because a smile appeared on her lips before I even said “yes”.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia followed me and we both remained at the bar and had just a cocktail before she pulled me to the dance floor. 

“Come on it’ll be fun” she said, pulling me towards her as we had a space to ourselves.

I looked at her slightly amused as she hadn’t realized that her hands had found their place at my waist.

“Bold, Russo…you trying to pull me?” I say not trying to break eye contact.

Must have been the alcohol in her system because a laugh escaped her.

“Well yeah hoping to pull the cute girl in front of me?” 

I return the laugh and lean into her, “well I'm not going to stop anything that you may be planning, Russo” 

Alessia, empowered, grabbed me by the chin and kissed me deeply totally forgetting that our respective teammates were watching from the booth across the bar.

Millie patted Sam’s shoulder, “guess, who won the bet Sammy, you owe me dinner” which earned an exaggerated roll of Sam’s eyes as she also slid a bill towards Millie. 

______________________________________________________________

Alessia and I both found ourselves at my apartment later that night, clothes strewn about, both of our phones lighting up with notifications but us ignoring everything and focusing only on the other. 

The taste of Alessia, I knew I would become addicted to, but I didn’t hold my breath because the other side of my bed would be empty come morning…like always. 

I savored the moment and the sounds that she made as she came undone. Like a nice coconut rum, the sunrise in a forest, like a honey candy and as intense as the sun. Leah was right, I’m too poetic for my own good.

The light from my curtains hit my eyes as I lifted myself up…surprising myself when I felt a weight holding down the rest of my sheets. 

There lay Alessia, sleeping soundly, with the sun hitting her hair in a way that created a light shine around her features. A small scrunch on her nose as she felt the movement from me and a light flutter of lashes allowed for her gentle blue eyes to greet me.

“Morning’” she whispered with a slight giggle.

I only nod, not knowing what to say.

“Sorry, I knocked out right after…I did want to return the favor you know” she said shifting closer to me.

I shake my head “nah, it’s ok…” Alessia stops me as she now finds herself on top of me, now filled with an energy in her eyes even though she had just woken up moments ago.

“No, I want to and then I can make you breakfast too…” She said gently lowering herself, taking my lips slowly as she did as she promised. 

______________________________________________________________

Alessia stayed more than that morning, she made an effort to visit me and make me laugh many times after that night. At our first derby game together, she prompted a swapping of jerseys where with her jersey was a crumpled piece of paper neatly written.

“What rivalry? Just want to be able to take you on a proper date. :) Text me when you get home xxx-xxx-xxxx”

Jessie was right, I did find someone, who would put up with me and more and I'm glad it’s Alessia.

[halfagone]

So I was thinking and...

Move aside, Danny, this ain't about you-

My reasoning?

We all know Danny's life is fucked up. We know this. We've acknowledged this. All sorts of shit happens in the show that gets glossed over and we, as a fandom, go in and say, "Yeah, no let's talk about that actually-" But while Jazz may not be a main character, things happen to her too that should be acknowledged as well.

Let's start with some basics: her parentification. While it may not be uncommon for older siblings to take care of their younger ones, that doesn't make it right or better. Jazz is 16 in the show. She is just as much a kid as Danny is, even if she vehemently tries to deny it. She should not be the one responsible for looking after her brother like a parent would.

This also bleeds into the way she has to watch after or hold her parents back. They are grown adults; she should not be the one responsible for making sure they treat her younger brother right, or don't forget things, or act like adults. This is not and never should have been her duty as a child, oldest or not.

Let's move onto more episodic examples. In "Prisoners of Love", she had a bit of a meltdown when she found out she had been wrong. That lends to some control issues and perfectionism that isn't healthy in the slightest and should probably be dealt with before she becomes an adult and realizes that kind of mindset is going to burn her out. Fast.

In "My Brother's Keeper", Spectra intended to murder her in front of the entire school. Obviously the plan doesn't work out, but a murder attempt is a murder attempt and that brings trauma all of its own.

A lesser known example, but Johnny (who she had dated briefly) used her as a meat puppet in "13" so that his girlfriend could escape from the Ghost Zone. If we want to acknowledge that what Kitty did to Paulina was wrong, then we have to acknowledge this too.

In "Doctor's Disorders", Jazz was literally a disembodied head in a jar. I feel like we should talk about that, and the body horror that comes with it. In line with that, Vlad had nanobots injected into her system, as known from "Secret Weapons", and regardless if they're still there or not that weighs on the mind.

In "Reality Trip", Jazz agreed with Freakshow which implies she has some ghost envy of her own? If Tucker's desire to have powers like Danny is messed up, then this ought to be too.

Now this poll isn't to ignore Danny's trauma. But this ain't about him. This time it's about Jazz and the fact that she has problems of her own. I know it's popular to make her out as a mini therapist, but therapists have therapists of their own to handle their stress and emotions. Jazz should be no different, even if you don't headcanon her as a psychologist as an adult.

So, tldr: Jazz's life is fucked up too and it deserves some acknowledgement.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

(warnings for mentions of drug use/addiction)

AITA for asking my brother not to smoke around my cat?

So I (17M) got a kitten a few weeks ago. She's about six weeks old. My brother (14M) is addicted to cigarrettes, vaping, weed, that sort of thing. I sleep in the living room in our house since he does all that in his room and I have asthma, but since the living room leads out to the balcony, he goes out there too in the middle of the night, which wakes me up and wakes the cat up, and when the cat wakes up, she won't go back to sleep. And the smell that the smoke brings in when he comes back inside is an asthma trigger for me

I've talked to my brother about this, trying to be friendly enough because I know he's addicted and can't really help it, and my dad also tells him to stop coming out to the living room, but my brother gets really defensive whenever this comes up. He was in therapy, but he quit as soon as the therapist tried to send him to some rehab camp thing

So my brother loves this cat. I've got no issue with that, of course, but since he smokes, I worry that it'll hurt the cat. Second hand smoke. Plus in general I'd feel more comfortable if he didn't smoke or vape or do drugs around my cat anyways

I brought this up with him yesterday. I'm autistic, so the words when I said them came out more as "you'd better not smoke while the cat's in your room" rather than "please don't smoke when the cat's in your room" which was how i meant to word it. My brother got mad at me, said that it was fine if he did and that it wouldn't hurt her (which it would, but i didn't bring that up) and said not to talk to him like I'm his mom

I have also implied in the past that he should try to quit but all I got was a "it's a fucking addiction" in response. so this is a topic I Don't Bring Up. And since I'm sure it'll come up as an info question, our parents do know about this

I honestly didn't mean to sound as rude as I did, I'd just prefer for my cat + my brother to not die lol

[bisexualchaosdemon]

Wait! WAIT!! Is this a fucking metaphor?!

(The Sunshine Court, ch.12)

Hear me out! I've seen a load of theories about Jeremy's back story, and one of them is that he may have struggled with anger issues in the past, which I think this could be eluding to, if you squint... So let's squint!

So, Neil says heavies are all about force and speed in trk, right? He descripes them as potentially unwieldy but devastating. Time and time again, heavies are associated with unchecked aggression. (If I'm right about this, Jeremy's surprised whistle here could also be foreshadowing for his reaction to all of the dirty ways the Raven's were forced to play).

Jeremy said that his high school team was full of nastiness. He doesn't say outright that he participated, but we could infer that from Cat's follow-up story about shooter games affecting her attitude in and outside the games. With that in mind, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that Jeremy's use of a heavy racquet is representative of his participation in the unnecessary aggression of his high school team. He said it was exhausting. He hated it and chose to leave it behind by joining the Trojans. And he stopped using a heavy racquet as soon as he was able.

There is also that bit in the previous chapter about the right therapist being life changing. Now, we don't get much there; all Cat says is, "Just look at Jeremy for proof" without any further context. Now, to me, that would imply that Jeremy's entire demeanour is the proof she's referring to. I defo think there's more going on there (like the mystery brother and his reaction to suicide, but I digress) but my point is that this could support the theory that Jeremy got too into all the negativity and aggression in high school.

I think Jeremy changing back to a light racquet could definitely be symbolic of Jeremy choosing to leave that nasiness out of his playing style and life. He knows he is putting himself at a disadvantage by choosing to play with a light racquet against heavies—by choosing not to return his marks' aggression with more aggression—but he's okay with that. He is choosing control.

[catflowerqueen]

You know what? I’ll just go ahead and outline my thoughts on why I think getting called “her father’s daughter” could be a potentially devastating insult for someone—likely an enemy—to call Earth.

Again: This is not me saying I think any of this is necessarily true of her character, just that recent events and how certain actions she’s been taking lately could be seen, especially from an outsider’s or enemy’s perspective (at least—her actions given what I’ve gleaned from summaries and what others have said about what’s been going down).

The Creator takes a forcible approach to changing things to fit the worldview he desires. And when people no longer fit that worldview? When the façade cracks and people refuse to play along with his vision? He disavows them. Throws them away.

And… what did Earth do to Nexus? Before they even directly attacked her, and it was completely reasonable of her to feel the need to step back a bit since her actual life was now in danger?

She disavowed them. She threw them away.

Nexus was too caught up in their grief and their very real problems, was no longer being the doting older sibling, said a few mean things about her not being a real therapist—which she’d already said early on that she didn’t even want for that to be her role in the family, before going back on that for some reason later on—and was no longer playing the role she wanted and was used to. Nexus was no longer in a stable headspace to clean up everyone’s messes, and was, apparently, supposed to be “more mature” than Lunar when it came to dealing with trauma and people who hurt them, their family, and trillions of uninvolved innocents—even though Nexus has never had their very real traumas addressed or given aid for or had the chance to heal the way the rest of their siblings have—so when they finally, inevitably broke under the grief and pressure?

Earth didn’t like that, and went by the Creator’s example of dropping the façade of care and throwing them away. And then immediately switching her attention over to something supposedly "better" in the current iteration of Moon.

…Though, at least she was different in that, at one time, she did care about Nexus, while the Creator never cared about her. But that also just might make the pain worse. Because it is one thing to learn that you were never loved at all, and the whole thing was just a lie or a mask someone was using to get what they wanted. To learn that you were always just a tool, or a means to an end.

It is another thing entirely to learn that the love existed, but was shallow and conditional and depended on you lying and putting on a pleasant mask that hid your pain. A mask that only you needed to wear—because your position has always been the scapegoat, and everyone else was already good enough/fulfilled enough in their assigned roles to never even ponder stepping out of them to see if they would be happier doing something different/their assigned roles included messing up and making mistakes or acting "childish" or "spoiled" as a matter of course.

And, on the note of assigned roles…honestly, as others have said, Nexus never should have been considered the older brother to begin with—to any of their siblings—since they were younger than her. And younger than Lunar, by certain metrics, since even though Lunar technically was “reborn,” they didn’t have to contend with any memory gaps and just picked right back up where they left off. To the point that it could be argued they didn’t even “die” so much as just get put in a coma for a long time, especially with how nanomachines were and are implied to work in the TSAMS universe.

…Anyways…

This ended up a bit harsher toward Earth than I’d intended (probably because I decided to stay up and write this after I should have been in bed and asleep), and is probably meaner toward her character than she actually deserves… But, as I said, this is an exploration of why calling Earth "her father's daughter" would be the sort of insult an enemy would sling at her. One of the ones who like to pick at sore spots, use psychological torment, and twist things like memories and actions around to make them appear more sinister than they were in reality.

Do I think Earth reacted badly, and should have handled the situation better? Especially since she had tried to put herself in the role of a therapist? Absolutely I do. Do I think there was any sort of “evil machinations” or deeper meaning behind her actions on par with why the Creator tried to uphold that genial façade for so long? Absolutely not.

I genuinely think she was just overreacting/mishandled the situation/lashed out in her own sense of anger and sadness, and is now just doubling down with how crazy things have still been for her family lately. Especially now that there is a “new” Moon to deal with and Nexus is both out of sight and out of mind... as well as possibly genuinely out of her reach, both physically and emotionally. And she also might not want to reconcile given the whole “they almost killed me” thing. Which… yeah, after that point it is fair that she would be upset and angry and want some physical distance, and I wouldn't blame her for not forgiving Nexus for that specific thing.

It would have been fair for her to want some physical distance after their earlier harsh words, too… it’s just that isn’t what she said she was doing. Had she said/expressed by her actions something to the tune of “I need to take a step back from this for my own mental health so I can have some space to process,” it would have been fine. But she didn’t. She and Lunar immediately jumped to what was essentially disownment, and then didn’t clarify in the next lore video that those were just the harsh words they were saying in the heat of the moment and that what they really meant was they were upset and needed their own mental health breaks/weren't equipped to deal with the severity of the situation.

…Honestly, though, with Lunar it hurts… not exactly less, but at least in a different way when it comes to how they handled things, because they’d always been combative toward Nexus. The only time I remember them genuinely expressing concern or love for them as a sibling was after the daycare got exploded thanks to Ruin during the second October takeover--and that wasn't even expressed directly to Nexus--and then when Nexus and Sun found their way back. Yes, they did run immediately for a hug from Nexus after being rebuilt and getting rescued by Puppet… but then they immediately admitted it was because they’d briefly forgotten that Nexus was “New Moon,” not the original one.

So while their reaction to this entire situation was and is still massively disappointing, I can’t really say it was too out of character for them. At least not the same way it was coming from Earth.

…Hope this made at least some sort of sense.

[notiddygothgf]

𝟎

★ pairings: suguru geto x satoru gojo, satosugu

★ synopsis: Suguru Geto struggles with letting people in after leaving a three-year-long abusive relationship. Enter Satoru Gojo, the boy who doesn't seem to take no for an answer.

★ c.w.: slow burn, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, dub con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, mahito is a real abusive asshole, past relationship(s), past abuse, recovery, hurt, comfort, vent fic, based on my shitty ex, my therapist told me it'd be a good idea idk, im a good writer I swear, brought to u by the bch who wrote best friend's brother!choso, sexual tension, new love, fluff, angst, smutt, graphic, psychological trauma, theres a happy ending in here I swear, angst with a happy ending, psychological trauma, PTSD, idiots in love, sexy smut I swear.

★ a/n: NGL I kinda hate how this turned out. but! it had to be done! I had to get it out of the way. the way I think this is gonna work is past flashbacks first, present time next. it's gonna prob alternative between the two for a while. comment your thoughts! let me hear u! feel free to slander mahito... he plays the shitty ex.

★ w.c.; 3.4k

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𝐔 𝐍 𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄   ��𝐀 𝐈 𝐋 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓

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PROLOGUE

2019. MONTH UNKNOWN.

I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD the first time I tried to kill myself. In retrospect, I can’t possibly imagine what could have been so important to little me that he firmly believed he would rather die than live without it. I wish I could say that I had a difficult life. That simply was not the case. I grew up with two loving parents and a kind brother, in a small town where every friend I’d ever had was within a mile of me at any given point in time. We weren’t rich, but we most certainly weren’t poor. I had everything a child could ask for and so much more.

Again, I wish that I could say I had a difficult life, but that simply was not the case. 

It’s just that I’ve had these… thoughts for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate ailment, if you will. No matter what I did, there always seemed to be something missing. Something I felt I would spend my whole life searching for – or at least trying to supplement.

At 12 years old, I planned my first attempt.

It didn’t work.

So, now, faced with the unbearable burden of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I chose to pursue a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to go to school to become a doctor. I didn’t know what kind, per se, but I knew that I wanted to heal. 

Maybe I thought, I don’t know… that if I healed enough people, I may have been rid of the ailment – healed, myself.

So I left my small town, enrolling in an academy 30 minutes away from the house. I got into their Healthcare program. Again, what more could a kid want?

Yet the void inside of me only grew larger, more ravenous. I lost touch with all of my small town friends – one by one. I had no one.

But I was pursuing my passion, right? Why wasn’t it enough?

It was in that godforsaken academy that I met him.  

“Pick a card,” he asked me. His grey eyes were so sharp, even then. “Any card.”

I glanced down at the fanned-out deck in his pale hand, eyes crawling over the many different suits and shapes before eventually settling on an ace. I pulled the card out. 

Ace of spades. I tried to memorize it. I also, coincidentally, tried my best to ignore the incessant thrum of my racing heartbeat against my veins, my arteries, my chest. He was sitting so close to me.

It was just the two of us in the hallway. Just me and him and the infinite space between us, the small gap between my right shoulder and his left. 

I handed it back to him. “What are you doing?” I asked.

He slipped the card back into the deck without looking. He shuffled it once, twice, three times. Made a bridge with his hands and let the cards fall back into place. I watched with a remarkable sense of interest.

“Is this your card?” He tucked a stray blue hair behind his ear, producing a card.

I furrowed my brows, about to say something, when I noticed something off about the card. It was different. Where there once was a large blue spade, there now was a small, torn piece of lined paper taped to the surface. The gray lettering on the handwritten note read,

WILL U GO OUT W/ ME?

My eyes went as wide as saucers. My mouth lolled open, lips shaped around his cursed name, “Mahito, I…” 

I thought of my parents. I thought of my religious father. What would he say? What would he say if he found out his 14-year-old son was a homosexual?

I thought of my parents, and I bit my lip, “I don’t know if I can… I don’t know. What if my dad finds out?”

Mahito tucked the deck of cards neatly into the pocket of his black cargo pants. His hoodie was rolled up to his elbows, revealing intricate stick-and-poke linework over his forearms. He shrugged, humming, “Who says he has to?”

The tardy bell rang. We were late for first period.

My mouth opened by itself again. At fourteen, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to lie to my father about something so serious. Not yet.

Seemingly sensing my hesitance, Mahito laid a hand on my stiff shoulder. “Hey,” he muttered softly. “Think about it. Give me your answer after school, yeah? We’ll meet here at 3:30.”

And then he slipped away with a quiet, ‘See ya’.

Without confirmation.

In his absence, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

2019 February.

Mahito ran away from home two weeks into our relationship. Ran away without so much as a notice or a warning. Ran away and left me there to assume the worst. He didn’t live in the best area. Perhaps he was staying with a friend? If not, was he dead in a ditch somewhere?

There was no way to tell.

He could have at least told me, I had thought. Then again, would I have tried to stop him? Undoubtedly.

They issued a missing persons alert the day after he didn’t show up. I remember seeing the poster all over my social media, all over the streetlights and posts. 

It didn’t seem real. Even as I held the missing poster in my trembling hand, I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling as if this were all some sort of cruel prank, that he would be back just in time for our after-school walk with a smile on his face.

 But there he was, smiling up at me from the page in my hand. 

MISSING PERSON: MAHITO 

Height: 5’8

Weight: 150

Eye color: gray

Hair color: blue

Remarkable features: tattoos on arms

Last seen: February 14th.

I crumpled the piece of paper up, tossing it across my messy bedroom with a sigh. I hadn’t slept last night, and I wouldn’t have slept tonight either.

I sunk into myself, curled into a ball on my twin-sized mattress – the same one I’d had for as long as I could remember – and cried. I was utterly inconsolable. I cried until my voice was hoarse, until there were no more tears left to cry.

Until my phone buzzed.

I assumed it was another homework notification. I didn’t check. What did it matter? In my eyes, my world had stopped spinning. It had stopped the moment he ran away.

But it buzzed again, and again.

It was then that I realized I was getting a call. Begrudgingly, I picked my phone up off of the bed. I turned it over. The screen was lit up with the words ‘NO CALLER ID’. 

I wanted to hang up. Desperately. Wanted to save myself a shred of peace and dignity and move on with my night – in hindsight, I probably should have just hung up when I had the chance. But, no, I felt something in my gut call out to me.

Against my better judgment, I answered, “Hello?”

The line crackled. “Suguru?”

Suguru. 

My heart leapt up into my throat. With wide eyes, I answered again, “Who’s this?”

“Suguru, it’s me, Mahito,” He sighed with relief, like he hadn’t expected me to pick up. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected it either. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner, my love. I’m calling you from a phone booth right now.”

My love. The nickname sounded like honey coming from his lips, but I knew it was laced with venom. Still, as would seem to be the trend, I was weak for it. 

My eyes began to water again, somehow. “Where are you?”

I knew better than to call him ‘baby’. Not when my father was sleeping in the room next to mine. 

“I can’t tell you that right now,” He answered. Of course, he couldn’t. There always seemed to be something he was hiding from me. I didn’t see it that way back then. “Look, I don’t have much time to talk, I–”

“I’ve been worried sick about you, Mahi,” I spoke again. I felt numb. So numb. “Please, just–”

“I stole ten grand from my mom,” He cut me off. “I’m running away from home. The abuse, it’s just– I can’t. I can’t, anymore.”

His mother was a real piece of shit. I knew that. She never wanted Mahito, not as a single mother. So she tried multiple times to be rid of him – beating him senseless with hangers and wires and even going so far as to attempt to poison him on his birthday. 

Still, ten grand was a lot of money.

Stolen.

“I’m on the run from the cops, I– I think they’re trying to find me,” He panted into the microphone. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? You gotta lie for me.”

I felt sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.

“I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, holding back vomit. “Hold on.”

I ran to the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink. I had just eaten mac and cheese an hour or so ago, and the vomit was tinted yellow. I could still see a few noodles here and there, only partially digested.

It made me want to hurl again.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“Am I– No, I’m not fucking okay, Mahito! First, you run away without–” I had to swallow bile a second time. I felt it burn as it slid back down my throat. “You could have fucking warned me , or something, and now you’re calling me at eleven at night to tell me you’re fleeing the fucking cops?”

He paused. “I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. You know I love you.”

And immediately, like some sort of magic trick, I felt my exterior soften. I didn’t even care that we were only a few weeks into our relationship. He was my first. It was like he knew the effect he had on me. 

“Suguru,” he said again. “I love you.”

His words were like honey. I took a spoonful.

“I love you, too,” I sighed into the receiver. 

“You’ll keep quiet about this for me, right?”

I was weak for him, as always.

“Okay,” I said.

I found myself sitting at my desk in the middle of the day, struggling to concentrate on the lesson. The classmates at my table – more like a group of desks placed together – were talking about the missing boy.

My missing boy.

They were talking to me, actually, but I had long since tuned them out. It was all a blur for me – a blur of faces and voices and words I didn’t want to hear. 

“He’s a freak,” The boy across from me, Choso Kamo, remarked. “If I were you, I’d break things off before it’s too late.”

Choso’s critical words sent a sharp pang right through my rotten heart. 

“Exactly,” My friend, Shoko, chimed in. She was a pretty thing, about a few inches shorter than me with brown hair up to her chin. She always looked so tired . I wonder if she recognized that I felt the same. “He’s got some serious issues. Guys like that rarely make for healthy relationships.”

Choso leaned in, leaned over the desk to offer more of his thoughts, “You can’t just ignore the fact that more people are catchin’ on, either. What if your dad finds out? You know he thinks that… kind of stuff is wrong.”

Choso was Shoko’s friend. He wasn’t homophobic. A little misguided, but he had the spirit. Hell if he weren’t a raging heterosexual, I might have even gone for him instead. He had that look I liked – sleepy, downturned, dark eyes framed by messy bangs. He never wore colors. He was content to make a statement in black. Black eyeliner, black shirt, black doc martens, black hair done up into two messy pigtails. 

It was his signature look.

Our classmates didn’t take too kindly to ‘emos’ like him, though. He was an outcast. Hell, we all were. That’s why we sat together, after all.

The harsh opinions of my classmates threatened to erode my self assurance. I knew people were talking – people always talked. I knew the hushed whispers of my name as I walked past people and cliques in the mornings on my way to class weren’t a hallucination. 

I knew I had to stand by my boyfriend. I knew I had to stand by Mahito, but the weight of their disapproval put a strain on my shoulders. Does anyone want to hear that their friends don’t approve of their partner?

Admittedly, he wasn’t a very good partner. He had demonstrated that much in the first few weeks of our relationship. I knew he wasn’t good for me, but, fuck, I wanted to try. I wanted to make things work so badly that I ached for it. Everyone else knew he wasn’t good for me, too. 

But, fuck, was I naive to wish I could prove them all wrong?

In my eyes, he was only misunderstood. The ghosting, the red flags, the alarming behavior… I could see past it all because I loved him. My first love. No one understood him the way I did. How could I blame them for their concerns?

It didn’t matter how many voices I had in my ear telling me it was wrong. Soon, he would come home to me, and I would feel his skin against my cheek as I hugged him hello. That’s all that mattered.

How could that be wrong?

“It’s not wrong. How could it be?” I kept my gaze trained on my desk. My vision was blurry, unfocused. My mind felt numb and detached. I muttered. “I love him. He loves me, too. He told me he did.”

He did.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Choso and Shoko exchange a dubious look. 

They didn’t understand him the way I did.

“He told me he loved me,” I repeated the words like a mantra, like a reminder to myself that I was fighting for something. 

That as long as I was loved by him, I would be okay. 

He called again that night. Earlier, this time, at nine o’clock. 

I was in the shower at that time, curled up on the floor, sobbing into my arms. The water streamed past my shoulders, my arms, my nose. I glanced over at the screen through blurry eyes. 

NO CALLER ID.

I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.

Then, I let the call ring.

Current Day. 

[12:13 PM]

[Automated]: you have 3 new messages. Play back?

[USER] Selected:

[NO] ...

... [View Inbox]

...

[ Last 6 Years ].

[REPLAY>>] Message from 'Blocked Number'.

Transcription:

" Suguru, this is me, Mahito. I don’t know if you can hear me or not– I don’t know if anyone can hear you or not, so please use headphones, or something, I don’t know. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna try and call you later. Right now you seem to not be answering your phone for some reason. Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not in a really good place, right now, I’m… surrounded by a lot of people. So, um.. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’ll call you a little bit later, okay? Bye– kisses…….”  

[End of Transcription] 

[Automated]: Would you like to play the next message?

[ Yes. ]

“ Suguru, is this– this is me, Mahito. Um.. I just wanted to say that I’m okay. Nothing has happened to me yet. I’m perfectly safe. I’m in a laundromat somewhere. And, uh, I said I love you… I don’t know why you’re not answering my calls… You know that I always try to text you whenever I can– and try to… call you, but… I don’t know, maybe you’re too depressed, or some shit. Maybe you’re mad at me. I understand. I– what I did was wrong, I… What I did was idiotic, and what I did was stupid, and shitty… And I understand if you’re mad at me and you don’t wanna answer my calls. So, yeah, I gues… I’ll try to call you again tomorrow. 

If you’re hearing this voicemail, but you probably won’t, um… I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m trying to do my best just… to see you again. You like pizza, don’t you? How about we do a pizza date sometime, yeah? Somewhere around next week, maybe. Huh? How about that? Sounds cool, right? Yeah, yeah it does. Um, anyway, I… gotta… I gotta go. I have to… do some things. Uh… uh… at least I love you. 

And, I– I might not have brought much with me, but I have the little stuffie that you gave me. It’s in my book bag. Not gonna take it out because people are gonna know what my things look like. I’m always gonna keep these memories close to my heart. I don’t care what anybody says. Even if I go to prison, I’m taking this shit with me. Alright? Um, I guess that’s it. And… last thing? I love you. 

Please, answer me. If you’re calling, that means you actually care, but if you don’t, then… it’s fine. Don’t recall this number. I’m not gonna respond. This is just some random guy’s phone. Okay? Um… I love you, and please stay safe. Please don’t worry, I’m still alive. I miss you. Okay, bye, I love you.”

 [End of Voicemails Received on February 18th, 2019].

[Automated]: Would you like to replay the messages?

[ No. ]

[ Delete ] > [ All messages from {Blocked Number}] 

[Automated]: Are you sure?

[Yes]

[Automated]: Deleting all messages from {Blocked Number}.

THE WIND BLEW IN HEAVY from below, sending a plethora of leaves flying out in all directions. As I knelt down to test the current with my fingers, my boots sank deeper into the muddy riverside.

I sat on the bench in front of the riverbed. Wiping my fingers dry on the fabric of my denim jeans, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The park was mostly empty, save for a few teenagers

The water always looked pretty this time of year. For a few moments, you stood there drinking in the sight of it.

In the present, I sat alone in front of the serene lake, surrounded by the picturesque beauty of nature. Lush green trees lined the shore, their leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. The scent of damp earth and the distant call of birds created a peaceful atmosphere, contrasting with the turmoil in my mind.

I watched as groups of carefree teenagers ran around, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the heavy weight I carried in my heart. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I averted my gaze towards the shimmering water.

I wished for the water to possess the power to cleanse me, to wash away the burdens that weighed on my soul. 

The sound of the water rushing past was almost deafening, drowning out the laughter of the teenagers. It consumed my thoughts, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of dread and isolation. I yearned for the water to offer solace, as if it held the key to absolution and a fresh start, but it remained an unsettling reminder of my own inner turmoil.

I had a vision every time I came here for some peace of mind. It was the same vision every single time. It plagued me every time I found myself in front of the water. It was an image of me, standing at the water's edge, and then, with a deep sense of despair, throwing myself into it, sinking into the abyss and drowning.

As I sat there, the scenery around me seemed to blur, and the vision of my drowning self played on a loop in my mind, a relentless nightmare that I couldn't escape. The lake, which should have been a source of tranquility, had become a symbol of my pain and a relentless reminder of my inner struggles.

It seemed to call to me. I could almost hear the wind carry my name.

Suguru.

The water always looked pretty this time of year. I sat there watching it for a moment too long, wondering what it would feel like to be enveloped by the cold current, to feel it wash me away. 

And, again, the sound of the current grew louder. Deafening. Consuming me.

a/n: l comment and lmk what u think pookiesss

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

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wanna join the taglist?| mlol; chapter index

[wordslostforever]

Couples Therapy | Ch. 2

Ch. 2 "Reminiscent of our days"

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/fem!reader

Summary: When your marriage with Wanda starts to fall apart, you both decide to have a last chance by going to a professional, for your son's sake, and your own.

Warnings: 16+! Established relationship, Fluff, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of self-harm (Not explicit), angst at the end, implied sex.

A/N: Some of the flashbacks aren't in chronological order, so apologies if there's any confusion. I hope you enjoy :)

Italian letter mean flashbacks

Ch.1 "Work with me"

Word count: 4.6k

“Tommy! Billy!” Screaming, your eyes remained on your watch for a few seconds before calling your sons again. “We are late, come on!”

Standing in the the porch, the sight of your children covered your eyes, of them running toward you with their backpacks and lunch boxes.

A smile covered your lips at the excitement held in their eyes when they saw you waiting for them. It saddened you knowing that the simple gesture of dropping them at school in the morning made them this happy. How the constant figths with your wife changed the whole rutine you once had. Natasha's house wasn't that close to let you get them and leave them at school before work.

“Go to the car, I need to speak to your mom.” You said softly as they arrived close to you, and Tommy nodded making his way towards your car, but Billy stayed still, a trouble expression on his face. “What’s up, buddy?”

“You ate breakfast with us, does that mean you are not leaving?”

"I'm not leaving." Respondily firm, you crouched down at his level. You smiled at reassuringly, patting his shoulder. "I will never leave you, nor your brother. Never. I'm your mom, and no matter what happens, I will always be there for you two, okay?"

"Okay, good." You saw Billy's smile grow and he hugged you briefly before stepping back with a sideways grin. "Tommy was scared, you know, not me, of course. I knew you wouldn't leave."

"Of course, buddy. Just ask anything, okay?, I'm here to tell you whatever you want to know." You stood up from your place and looked at him with a smile.

He was exactly like you, but Tommy, Tommy was completely like Wanda. "Now, go to the car with your brother. I'll be in a few."

He walked away to the car, and you turned to the door to find no other than your wife looking at you with a grin on her lips. Giving a step, your hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her into you.

Wanda gave a little chuckle before meeting her hands around your neck. Closing the gap between you, letting her lips join with yours.

“I missed this.” She said as you pulled back, her hand fidgeting with the baby hairs on your neck.

“Me too.” You nodded, without stopping the silly smile that formed on your lips. “I’ll meet you at the consult at seven, after I finish my turn.”

“Oh, no, I think she is going to interview us alone this time.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know, I have an appointment at six.”

“Uh, okay, that’s weird.” Wanda narrowed her eyes at the complain, but you raised your hands in surrender. “I’ll be there.”

You kissed her again before the honk of your car forced you to stop, both of you looking at the window of the car where Tommy signaled with his hand for you to hurry up.

“So impatient, just like someone I know.”

“Oh, yeah? I hope you love them.”

“Of course I do.” When another honk sounded, you chuckled leaving a last chaste kiss on your wife's lips. “I’ll see you later.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

******

“So, y/n, how did you two meet?” Your therapist asked as soon as you were comfortably sitting alone on the couch. She didn’t give you the time to ask why you were alone, but you didn’t complain, trying hard to make the whole thing work.

“It was at my best friend’s party. Although, it wasn’t really Natasha’s party, it was more like Tony’s... But- Well, whatever, it doesn’t matter”

You walked inside the tiny house where Natasha lived, hearing the music blast in your ears. You didn't know how many hours had passed since you arrived at the party, maybe two or three, but to be honest, you didn’t care anymore. The only thing that you cared about was leave this loud and crowded place to eat something.

You weren't a fan of parties, but you made the effort for Natasha and Steve. You kind of regreted it.

The house, you knew it by hand, after all Natasha was the owner, and you were always with her. Soon, you found yourself in the kitchen, smiling instantly when you saw the figure of a brunette roaming through the fridge. 

You giggled softly at her back, startling her. She closed the door of the fridge with a jump, before facing you.

“I’m not Natasha, but if you’re looking for food, knowing her, there’s no more than a bottle of ketchup in there with a few water bottles.”

“Yeah, there’s pretty much nothing.” She smiled at you, her gaze analyzing you before looking back at your eyes.“I’m Wanda, Wanda Maximoff.”

“Nice to meet you, Wanda.” You let go of her name, gently. “I’m Y/n Y/L/N, Natasha's best friend.”

“Oh, you’re her.”

“She talked about me?”

“No, Steve mentioned you, I am his best friend- Well, there’s Bucky too and Sam, but- yeah.” Wanda rambled the last words, before coming back to her senses and shaking her head. “I’m one his best friends”

“I see. Well, Wanda,” Saying, you let out a playful smile.“this party sucks and I’m leaving. Do you wanna come?”

“It’s your best friend’s party, tho?”

“So?” You chuckled at her confused expression. Playfully rolling your eyes, you fixed your jacket on your shoulders. “She’ll forgive me, besides, she also doesn’t want to be here. Tony is hosting the party, therefore, there’s no guilt to carry. So, are you coming?”

“I’m not coming with you, I don’t know you.”

“I don’t know you either.”

“What if you want to kidnap me?”

“What if you want to kidnap me?” You asked her with your eyebrows raised, your hand dramatically going to your chest, faking worry.

“But you invited me, how…?” She tilted her head, confused, and you looked up, thinking.

“I don’t know, maybe you’re pulling the reverse psychology or something… Uh, see, now you crept me out.“ You widened your eyes a little at your own answer before you walked beside her to the back door, but before you could walk any farther, you turned around. She followed your figure with her eyes, and with a flirty smile and a wink, you said a few last words before leaving. “Goditi la festa, bella. (Enjoy the party, beautiful)”

You walked out after that, to your car. But just a few steps away, Wanda’s voice stopped you.

“Wait, I’m coming.” You heard her say before she arrived at your side. You hand played with the keys of the car while a winning smile grew on your lips. “You speak italian?”

“No, I took it out of a movie.” It was the simple answer that made Wanda roll her eyes playfully, with an amused face. You chuckled at it, before raising your eyebrows with a smug smile. “Did it work?”

“You’re dumb,”She started saying, before finishing. “but, yes, it did.”

You made to the car a minute later, letting yourself open the passangers door for her.

“Do you like donuts?” You asked, shortly before she entered the car.

“Yeah.”

“You’ll love the place I found then.” When you excitedly clapped your hands together, startling Wanda again, she softly punched your shoulder. “After you, my lady.”

My lady.

“Did you know back then that you were going to feel these things for Y/n, Wanda?”

“At that moment? No, absolutely not.” Wanda settled comfortably on the couch, fixing her hair with her hands as the memories of the first day she met you passed through her mind. A stupid smile formed on her lips at the thought of you. “I thought she was going to be a good friend because she was nice and caring. I never thought that I'd fall in love.”

“Do you remember the first time you felt that way for her?”

“Oh, yes, I could never forget it.”

It was a sunny day, you and Wanda had decided to take the day at the beach after all your friends stood you up with the meeting they had planned a couple of days ago. Wanda was grateful for your proposal, and really appreciated it, but inside herself there was a small ache that didn't seem to go away.

"Hey, you okay?" You asked beside her and Wanda came back to her senses, peeling her gaze from the ocean to you and bit her tongue to avoid worrying you. "You know you can tell me anything... or ask for anything."

"I-I don't want to bother you with my problems." Wanda pursed her lips as a short laugh escaped your lips. Your head shook in denial and you took her hands with yours.

"I don't mind. It bothers me more to know that you're bottling your problems inside when you can talk to me about it." Wanda hesitated for a few seconds, her gaze dropped to your hands, then to your lips and stopped at your eyes with a sigh.

"Jackson cheated on me."

"He did what?" Wanda squeezed your hands a little, trying to calm your anger. You took a breath of air releasing the tension in your body before looking at Wanda fondly. "How did you find out?"

"He told me yesterday before we broke up." Wanda said, swallowing hard and you shook your head indignantly. "I think it's my fault. He told me I was too distracted and we barely spoke these days."

"So, what? Does he have the right to cheat on you? Hell no, don't be silly. He is the only one guilty here."

"But-"

"No."

"I just-"

"I said no. We are not doing this, you're not doing this." You said firmly, cutting her off immediately and with one hand caressed her cheek shortly. "You are going to listen to me very clearly, okay?"

"Okay."

"You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're wonderful, caring and loving." Wanda was silent, fixed on your gaze as you spoke confidently. "If he doesn't see that, it's his loss. You deserve much more than him because you are incredible, and you shouldn't let anyone make you feel less than that."

"How do you know I am?"

"Because I know you, and I can see clearly the person you are. You have made my days so much better by being there." You said before sighing and smiling encouragingly at her. "You are worth everything, and honestly, I don’t think anyone would deserve the woman you are. But if they do, they should make you feel like you own the world because you deserve that."

At that you turned around to look at the ocean, leaving Wanda to process what you said. Wanda stared at you for a couple of seconds, feeling her heart pound in her chest.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Wanda, I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

When your arm went around her shoulders embracing her, Wanda leaned into you, absorbing your presence. And she paused, her eyes fixed on the sea in front of her with anxiety.

She was in love with you.

"She punched him the next day."

"She did?

"She really did" Wanda let out a small laugh with amusement at the memory of her asshole ex-boyfriend bleeding from his nose.

For me. She did it for me.

"Of course I punched him for her." You said lifting your shoulders without much significance. "He was a dick anyway."

"Yes, she told me you did."

"What did she tell you exactly?"

"Nothing much, it's just came up. Now, you, Y/n, do you remember the first time you felt that way for Wanda?"

"Yes, I remember it as if it was yesterday."

Green eyes lit up with the sun's rays, those green eyes that made your world turn upside down. 

Wanda leaned her back against the fence, looking at you with a smile that made your heart flutter in your chest. You sighed with your arms crossed, watching the scenery behind the brunette, and turning back to her eyes, stubbornly holding her gaze. You agreed to accompany her on a trip to the countryside, but now, you felt it had been a mistake. Wanda stubbornly looked at you, urging you to accept the ridiculous proposal she made, but you refused. You were not going to enter that forest that had a big sign warning you not to enter.

"Come on, are we really going to stay here forever?" Wanda asked, and you nodded giving her a thumbs up. Wanda denied, rolling her eyes in irritation. "Let's just jump it. We didn't come all this way to stand here like idiots."

"You want to jump and go?" You let out a laugh before shaking your head, biting your lip before Wanda's intense stare. "That's illegal, you know, trespassing. I'm not going to be a felon."

"Who's going to know? It's empty. Come on, it'll be fun!"

"No, I'm not going to." This time you stood up straighter, determined, but Wanda's mocking look made you raise your eyebrows in confusion.

"Okay then, don't call the police on me." You saw Wanda hop the fence and look at you for a second with a sideway grin. "Snitches end up in ditches."

"Don't joke… Wanda?" You snorted as soon as you saw Wanda walk towards the trees. When Wanda was a couple of meters away from you, you followed her, jumping over the fence and quickening your pace to get to where she was.

She didn't say anything, didn't even look at you when you got to her side, but you knew she had a winning smile on her face and that made you bite your cheek inside, holding back some comment that would make you feel less of an idiot.

You walked for a couple of minutes with Wanda in silence. You weren't sure how Wanda knew about that place, but once you reached the end of a ravine, and she turned around with a familiar smile, you furrowed your eyebrows.

"Are you going to push me down?" You said dumbly, widening your eyes in fake concern. "Did I annoy your ass too much? Is this the end for me?"

"You're so dumb." Wanda laughed at your puerility, before opening her hands in surprise and pointing her head down the ravine. "I found this with my brother a couple years ago, in high school, before we moved to college."

"Wait, you didn't tell me this was your childhood hometown." With a surprised smile, you raised your eyebrows playfully and held back a chuckle. "You're a country girl. Where are the boots and the hat?"

"You know, you are making me reconsider pushing you off the cliff."

"Oh, with your cowgirl boots?" You felt Wanda's punch on your arm, and raised your hands in surrender. "I'm joking, I'm joking. Why did you bring me here?"

"So you could jump."

"Oh my god, Wanda, you're supposed to hug me, not make me jump off a cliff." You said again teasing her, your voice showing surprise, watching as Wanda rolled her eyes in irritation with a smile, cutting off your stupid joke.

"There's a lake at the bottom, so you would be jumping into the water."

"Oh, that sounds nice, but what if I break my legs because the water isn't deep enough?"

"You know what, whatever." You saw Wanda roll her eyes, and you laughed in satisfaction. And before she could walk past you, you grabbed her waist, pulling her to you in a hug.

You felt her body tense, you weren't much of a hugger, but you needed it. You knew she had done all this for you, to get you out of your room and out of your cave of sadness by taking you on a little trip to cheer you up. It was one of those week, the bad ones.

Wanda stayed with you, every day, she was there for you, even in the moments you were a nightmare to be with. 

And right then and there, when you felt her arms wrap around your waist securely and her nose bury itself in your neck with a giggle that made your whole body shiver, you realized it wasn't just gratitude you felt for her.

You loved her. You loved her with your whole being.

***************

"How did it go?" Wanda asked you as soon as you left the office, her arm carrying her purse and her other hand firmly closing her jacket. "I found it very refreshing."

"You say refreshing as if it wasn't before. Are you saying we were boring?" You stopped for a second to look at her, a smile forming on your lips at the panic on Wanda's face.

"No, that's not what I meant." You walked towards her a little, Wanda shook her head and waved her hands downplaying her words. "I meant that it was nice to remember our life together before, that's all."

"I know what you meant." You said laughing a little, as your hands traveled to your wife's waist with agility, settling into her already familiar body. 

"You are playing with me."

"Yep, that's what it feels like when someone changes the meaning of your words." Wanda rolled her eyes, punching your shoulder gently before tilting her head. "Let's go home now, it's cold."

"Such a crybaby." At her teasing, you let go of her in false indignation, taking a couple of steps away from her towards your car. You heard her giggle behind you and a silly smile appeared on your lips.

Wanda arrived at your side a few seconds later, slowing your walk with her arm, grabbing your waist gently. Shortly after, you both reached the car, but before you could take a step towards the driver's seat, Wanda grabbed your shoulder with a sideways smile moving the keys on her hands. You rolled your eyes before opening the door of the passenger seat.

You were going to say something about it, a funny comment about how disastrous Wanda was at driving, but the look she gave you once she got in the car made you shut your mouth humorously. You put the radio on Wanda's favorite station out of instinct and smiled when Wanda started humming one of the songs playing.

That warmth you loved so much settled in your chest as you watched Wanda drive in concentration, the air around you both in the small car becoming comfortable and making you feel at home. At times like that, when you had the chance to admire and love your wife how you felt, it made you reconsider how you had come to think about divorcing her in the first place. 

You couldn't deny that Wanda was a sculpture carved by the delicate hands of the gods, made in their likeness, perfect and ethereal. The only Goddess that came to mind in comparison was Aphrodite, but no, Wanda was far above her.

"Stare is rude, you know?" 

You had barely realized that you were now at home, Wanda was watching you calmly, patiently. You settled back in your seat recognizing where you were and turning your gaze to her with a dumbfounded smile, embarrassed that you had lost track of time thinking about her. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" Wanda asked you, amused at your attitude. "You really lost yourself there. What got you so thoughtful?"

"You." You blurted out the word so casually that it made Wanda's eyes widen and her cheeks redden. You knew it had been quite some time since you complemented her out of the blue. "I was just thinking about how unreal you are."

"Unreal? As if I'm like a ghost, too empty?"

"Jeez, how did you get to that conclusion so fast?" You chuckled, watching her shrug, and grabbed her hand gently, bringing it to your lips and leaving a chaste kiss on her knuckles. "I meant unreal in the sense that you're too good to be true... That you're too perfect to be true."

Wanda's gaze softened at your words and she caressed your cheek lovingly. The position you were in was awkward, and you both knew it as you both tried to move in for a kiss, letting out a silly giggle as your lips met. Your heart raced at the silence and the only sound you heard was Wanda's soft breathing above your lips as you pulled apart. 

"You are perfect too, moya lyubov'" Your eyes were still closed, but you knew perfectly well that Wanda was watching you with her green eyes, her fingers following your jaw gently, trailing along your nose and ending on your lips. 

You opened your eyes meeting hers in a tense stare and gently gave her finger a short bite, before smiling mischievously. Wanda denied with a smile, biting her lip, taking in for a second the silent proposal you were giving her. 

"We are not having sex in the car, Y/n." Wanda pressed her lips to yours one last time, pressing a short kiss to your lips. She settled back into her seat, opening the door and giving you a playful look. "We have a perfect bed inside."

"You're too loud." You got out of the car with her, closing the door and looking at her with a smile from the other side. Wanda raised her eyebrows. "You'll wake up the kids."

"Oh, am I the loud one? I hope you don't hear yourself then." Wanda tilted her head to one side with a winning smile as you opened your mouth and closed it without a word, feeling your cheeks heat up. "I'm taking the car tomorrow, and I'm going to be late so you'll have to pick the kids from school."

"Oh, okay." You turned around the car getting to Wanda's side, and she looked at you, knowing you were too generous to ask the reason why. You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling the well known squeeze growing in your chest. Distrust.

"I have to buy some stuff after work," Wanda explained and you nodded, the strange feeling diminishing. Wanda's hand went to your shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze, and before you could offer to join her, she cut you off almost as if she had read your mind. "Alone."

"Maybe we should buy another car." Wanda walked toward the front porch of the house, and you followed commenting.

"Why? We are fine with sharing the car." Wanda denied, and you sighed as you reached the front door. The keys jingled as Wanda pulled them out of her purse. "Besides, I really don't need the car that much. It'll be a waste of money." 

"Not really," You said, stopping Wanda in place as she pulled the keys away from the door to look at you with a raised eyebrow. "You need the car tomorrow, and I have to pick up the kids, but I don't have a car to do so. I'll have to pay for a cab, or ask someone else to-"

"You can ask Natasha."

"Yeah, but she won't always be there for this kind of thing."

"It's just this time, Y/n." Wanda said irritably, and you touched your neck trying to calm down at the familiar annoyed tone that crossed your ears. "We don't need to waste money on a car."

"We have the money to waste on a car." At that moment you noticed your wife's look change to one of anger, and you rolled your eyes impatiently.

"Of course we have." Wanda blurted out angrily and ironically turning to the door and unlocking it with the keys she had.

You laughed indignantly at her attitude, you knew perfectly well why she had been angry, why everything that had happened before would be blown away by this pitiful fight. You knew that Wanda hated it when you talked about the money you had earned from a project, a project that let you work with Tony Stark on a multi-million dollar invention. While you had both agreed to save the money for your children's future, there was still money to spare.

You walked in a few seconds after her, relaxing and putting on a smile. It wasn't late, but you knew Billy and Tommy were in their rooms when you walked in. Natasha sat alone on the couch watching TV.

Natasha gave you a knowing look, your argument with Wanda loud enough to be heard from inside the house. Wanda called your children, who ran downstairs to greet you.

Soon after, Natasha left after you thanked her for taking care of the twins, her hand had been placed on your shoulder encouragingly before she walked out the door, and it made you sigh.

Dinner was a great distraction from the trouble that was between you and Wanda. You listened to your kids' days intently, laughing when Tommy told you about throwing a juice box at a classmate for being annoying, only to scold him when Wanda gave you an accusing look. Billy, on the other hand, told you about his drama club and the plays they planned to perform.

You loved the family you had. You really did.

However, even your children couldn't minimize the tension once you were left alone in the kitchen when the twins went up to their rooms. Wanda dropped the dish towel once she finished drying the last dish and you took it, drying your hands after you finished washing the last glass and leaving it on the rack. 

The kitchen was locked in a suffocating tension that made your body stiff every muscle. Wanda leaned her hip on the countertop looking at you, and you returned her gaze relaxing your posture.

"Why do you do that?" Your voice was as soft as possible with the question, trying to appease Wanda's angry posture. She sighed, softening at your voice. "Why do you keep being so defensive about it? It's been months and I can't go back and change what I did."

"I know."

"Then why?"

"Because you left me. You left us, your kids." You shook your head at her words, in the pit of your stomach forming the discomfort you remembered gone. Distrust, jealousy.

"You don't get to do that. You don't get to say that after what you did too."

"That doesn't have to do anything with it." 

"It's got everything to do with it!" You blurted out abruptly, the words leaving your lips in a spiteful, indignant manner, and you clenched your fists trying to relax the anger in your chest. Wanda looked at you indifferently, unsurprised at your outburst of anger, and shook her head, dismissing your words. "Do you even feel bad about it?"

"Of course I do."

"It doesn't seem like it. At least have the decency to try and pretend you do, try at least, show you love me." The silence after your words grew between you, the tension making you shift uncomfortably in your place before Wanda's intense gaze.

Wanda didn't say anything, it was hard to know what she was thinking. Usually you knew exactly what it was, but the look she gave you was so indescribable, so complicated that you didn't know if it was possible to decipher. 

You waited a few seconds for her to answer, but the silence only grew more, and you turned away from looking at her, your back resting on the countertop. You closed your eyes, taking a breath of air listening to Wanda move and assumed she left.

What you didn't expect was to open your eyes and see her in front of you, her gaze steady on your eyes and when her hands touched your stomach under your shirt, you gasped feeling her body press you into the countertop hard. Her lips moved to yours, and her hands forced yours to her body.

"Show me I'm yours." The whisper on your lips ignited something in your body and you kissed her hard, flipping her over pressing her body now on the countertop.

This wasn't the first time it ended like this and you hated it.

[adamsrcnan]

okay i'll bite, here's my jeremy knox speculations !!!

it's nothing super outrageous in my opinion, as fun and interesting as that would be, but alas lets dig in.

with regards to the police, his step grandfather is a congressman which means his step father probably has political ties too. this could mean they have ties to the police force perhaps involved in funding or something?? hence why jeremy would be recognised by them bc he gets forced to go to these occasions to paint a perfect family picture and maybe they're full of cops?? and maybe that's just not something he wants to be associated with lmao. cannot blame him now can we?

rhemann tells jean he can ask jeremy to leave the vicinity if he wants to press charges and call the cops i don't think this is because jeremy could get in trouble or anything bc i don't think rhemann would risk that. i think it's just because him being there might have sway or might lead to more gossip among the force that jean would wanna avoid. and if rhemann knows about whatever this weird avoiding police thing is i'm not sure it would be something so horrible??

in terms of his past. personally i don't agree jeremy was aggressive as a teen. i read him talking about his high school team as more of a "they played that way. i didn't vibe with it. i wanted to make sure my college team wasn't the same" i mean it's basically what he says he doesn't imply anything else but again the guy is closed off as HECK so god knows. but i don't think jeremy has an aggressive tendency. i feel like, given how the foxes have their entire lives pried into, if jeremy had such a reputation in the past (being in a class 1 team and captain of it no less) it would be known. and jean would know bc of kevin's obsession. like that would be a huge scandal.

i don't think he's done anything crazy like murder or manslaughter or has any assault charge. although that screenshot i posted a couple days ago is very Very sus, i think it might stem from how his family makes him feel about himself. because again i don't think he'd be able to keep any of that hidden.

UNLESS it's been all swept under the rug thanks to the political ties from the step family, and maybe that's why they dislike him so much. but again i think it's all a bit far fetched bc i don't think jeremy would be able to be so well adjusted after something like that, even after attending therapy.

which brings me to my next point, which is where he mentioned his mother finding the therapist for him and his family as he says "us" when talking about it which means they all see this therapist and jean mentions jeremy does not seem bothered to be exposed for having to go to therapy. i think if he was in therapy bc he did something really terrible he wouldn't want it known. especially if it's meant to be swept under the rug. i think this is in relation to the mysterious brother and the possibility of losing them to suicide. as he becomes very serious when jean says he promised he wouldn't kill himself saying it's nothing to joke about. also his concern for jean's wellbeing after ravens start dropping like flies maybe bc he knows how the grief feels.

thought that could also be a far fetched speculation because jeremy says the fall banquet broke their family in half. it's obvious his step family and his older brother and younger sister are not on his side, his mother sounds questionable too. so maybe that just leaves his other brother and his father and again maybe it's just a case of them being supportive of jeremy's sexuality.

there's also a brief mention of jeremy's dad being stationed in europe - some kind of military man?? since his mother re-married there's definitely something there too. maybe jeremy still keeps in touch with his father and it's not appreciated by the rest of the family? idk this one's a bit of a stretch but i feel like it might crop up again. what with jeremy not wanting to be addressed as "knox" as well - is that his father's name or his step father's name??? why does he not like it??

moving on to the scandal at the fall banquet i think this has to do with jeremy getting outed for being gay. lucas before cutting himself off at the beach says "now that you're.." implying they didn't know before so maybe jeremy was keeping it under wraps but got involved with someone from another team (???) at the banquet and got caught. his step grandfather and step father, and brother are probably very conservative and of course did not agree with jeremy's "lifestyle" and i think this had consequences on the whole family as it probably got out and "tarnished" their image. jeremy was probably asked to give up exy so as not to get involved with all "that" and he obviously refused. punishment for that probably meant his sister not caring for his games anymore as he wouldn't compromise for her, him getting put on a strict allowance and his mother's bookkeeper having to keep up with his expenses bc he's only given a certain amount of money. maybe a way for them to take back control over his life?? it also could explain why he has to stay at home during the school year so they can keep an eye on him perhaps??? also him getting dismissed from the dinner table bc of his hair as well idk sounds like his family are probs homophobic. also kind of a stretch but mayyyybeee the reason jeremy feels so bad is because he got the person he was involved with into trouble so he feels like a terrible person. but again there's really no alluding to that or implication i'm basically just taking a wild guess. but i feel like it would make some sort of sense

TLDR; i think jeremy's big "scandal" was that he's gay and his step family are just not accepting so they make his life difficult on purpose and he struggles to stand up to them about it

[bioethicists]

Please note I have only taken a few psych classes cause I was required to in college, but I have always seen disorders in the DSM like adjustment disorder or prolonged grief disorder as something to get insurance to pay for therapy because at least my insurance in the US will only cover my therapy if I have a diagnosis... is that wrong though? Are they actually trying to make greif a pathology?

it's the other way around- the dsm (or diagnostics in general) does not exist/modify itself because of insurance, insurance bills based on the widespread belief in psychiatric research + practice that there is a meaningful split between "normal" and "pathological" behavior which can be categorized into illnesses which are meaningfully distinct both from one another + from "normality" (exemplified by the dsm).

even if some therapists no longer abide by this belief, it is still the dominant narrative in psychiatric research. insurance requiring you to medicalize your own pain in order to be given access to healing is a problem that should be addressed directly, not by inventing more and broader ways to be 'sick'. if we're literally inventing disorders now just to get people access to therapy- that's a huge problem + not something we should settle back into + accept. to its credit, even the icd (medical dx book for insurance) has codes that essentially mean "no illness or disease here, just a need to speak with a physician".

to be clear (which i think ppl were not getting from the post i made)- there is no grand conspiracy to like... cover up grief or delegitimize pp due to covid. i do think that researchers for prolonged grief disorder do genuinely believe that they are helping increase access to healing (which may be true but at the cost of medicalizing grief) + that identifying a 'disordered' form of grief is somehow empowering or healing for ppl. what it does is further construct a cold (western-based) narrative that there are 'normal' + 'abnormal' ways to experience grief, that there are forms or intensities of grief which are a sickness (that is, a problem within to be solved or cured), that there are right and wrong ways to grieve. it stems from such a myopic, medicalized, neoliberal view of the world that someone whose life is permanently altered by a devastating loss is seen as a disordered object to shift onto the 'proper' track of grieving.

at the risk of getting too personal, because i've been thinking abt this a lot since losing my brother- criterion for this disorder include identity disruption, intense emotional pain, loneliness, and difficulty reintegrating into life. one of the worst parts of grieving in the US is the culture's rabid obsession with you getting over it as soon as possible w/o letting it affect you in any meaningful way. you have to get out of the house, get back to normal, don't let it drag you down! my dad said to me the day after my brother died "we can't let this change the course of our lives". the absolute arrogance + cruelty of implying that it hasn't already changed. that my identity isn't forever changed because i was a sibling + now i am not. now i am something different. of course i am lonely. of course i am having difficulty reintegrating into life. of course i am in intense emotional pain. i wrote that post before losing my brother + now it just feels like another manifestation of the unspoken cultural mandate that grief be contained, efficient, unimpactful.

tl;dr the insurance benefits may or may not be there, but this misses the larger issue of how insurance functions this way due to psychiatry's obsession with diagnostics + will ultimately serve to draw even stricter boundaries around acceptable/unacceptable grief, isolating grievers + severing their pain from a communal context

[still-a-morosexual-help]

so the nightbringer website is open now and from what it says, the mc is gonna be in this game too? and it seems like romance is still gonna be involved? I wasn't expecting that honestly, I was thinking mc wouldn't be apart of this at all.

but if this is the case, does that mean that we're gonna find out what mc really is (they obviously aren't human in canon, but not everyone thinks of mc the same way so that doesn't seem like a good choice on their part) or maybe it will be whoever mc was in the past life? the only other thing I can see is mc going back in time again but that also seems like a weird thing to do.

maybe I'm overthinking what's on the website but it's just not something I even considered until this moment lmao

still v excited for the new game, I really hope that even if they do keep mc as a main part in the game, that the romance is a small part of it (or rather that it's not thrown at you in every scene lol) and that we actually get a good story on how the brothers came to the devildom and more understanding on all of the characters in general.

(sorry if this is hard to understand, I'm sick and tired hehe)

Honestly (I might be completely wrong here) I think it's gonna take place in flashbacks or something similar? Like we're gonna be skipping between the past and present. Because the opening showed Luke in it and he (as stated in S3) wasn't alive while the brothers were still angels/during the time of the fall. Plus it showed Thirteen with Diavolo but S4 heavily implied that she first visited the Devildom in S4 itself. So if this is the case then MC and the romance elements would be taking place in the present (though I wouldn't mind seeing MC interact with the brothers when they were angels again, tbh)

I think this game is what's gonna be used to introduce Michael? He's been built up since S1 but some of the things said about him makes him seem like a heavily morally grey character and exploring that in a game like OM! which is just straight up a wholesome otome game won't work because he'll have to be watered down in order to become a LI. But if they introduce him in nightbringer through flashbacks (possibly in anticipation of him appearing in the present) then they wouldn't have to worry about watering him down as much (specially because the opening hints at nightbringer being more lore and angst driven)

I would really like to know more about what the hell MC is because, like it or not, general MC does have a lot of canon facts about them that are sprinkled throughout the game (here's my post that lists all of them) and the fact that they're not fully human is one of them that is brought up as early as in Season 1 (also the time it's brought up the most clearly/directly) and then hinted at/reintroduced in the following 3 seaons (post w/ canon evidence)

(get well soon! And take a nap!!)

EDIT:

I just checked out the website and okay it actually looks really good! The quotes from each brother!!!! Also looks like it might actually jump between past and present but in the form of timetravel rather than flashbacks? Not proper timetravel where they'll manage to remember each other later but something similar to what happened in S3 maybe? Okay but the fic potential of this!!? The angst potential!!!?

MC HAS TO MAKE PACTS WITH THEM AGAIN BUT NOW THEY'RE ALL NEWLY TRAUMATISED I'M CACKLING THIS IS SO FUNNY MC WENT THROUGH SHIT TO MAKE THOSE PACTS THE FIRST TIME AROUND AND THAT WAS AFTER THE BROTHERS HAD CENTURIES? MILLENIA? TO CALM DOWN. NOW MC'S GOTTA DO IT ALL AGAIN, BE A THERAPIST ALL OVER AGAIN EXCEPT SOMEHOW EVERYTHING’S GOTTEN SO MUCH WORSE ANDKNXIDNDN someone should start paying them for this shit 😭😂💀

Okay so the format (regarding the romance) might be similar to S1? Few romantic elements sprinkled throughout but mainly focusing on the therapy and found family elements until the very end?

Also from the three brothers who mention The Fall in their quotes (Mammon, Levi and Asmo) Mammon seems to be the only one who has (at least to an extent) made peace with it?

[merlatealeaf72]

Heyyy, I have another FNAF The Musical theory!

Idk if Lexusinsannus made this theory or if that was just the video I watched, but I love the theory that Phone Guy cut off his hands to fake his death in Shadows of Agony. It seems really plausible, especially with the clip from the costume video for two. However, there's one thing that personally bothers me about this theory. If Phone Guy is pretending to be William Afton, then the body will be identified as Phone Guy, not William Afton.

Of course, there's always the possibility that Phone Guy was never William Afton, but it seems strange that Glitchtrap would think he was.

So I propose an alternative. Phone Guy is William Afton. But he didn't use to be.

I know that FNAF The Musical's lore is miles away from the actual FNAF lore, but there's one character that seems important that's missing. The Crying Child.

My theory is that the crying child was either Mike and Elizabeth's brother or Phone Guy's son, and he passed away, maybe killed by one of the animatronics. Phone Guy, consumed with grief, started therapy with Glitchtrap, an experimental therapy AI he was working on. But Glitchtrap wasn't finished, and therefore his therapy was, as said in Shadows of Agony, "too extreme". His therapy caused Phone Guy to have murderous thoughts and a desire to seek revenge for crying child's death. He shut down Glitchtrap to hide the incriminating evidence he had shared with it, deeming the therapy "too extreme". Then he changed his name to William Afton and started up the diner/starting killing kids.

He doesn't recognise Glitchtrap straight away, since he was downloaded into a decommissioned suit. When Glitchtrap sees him, he says "You're not William Afton" because he knew him as Phone Guy. He also knows that he won't go to the police, because he has reference to his murderous thoughts from therapy. Also the line "Baby's got a new rattle" implies that he does know him from somewhere else, in my eyes.

I also thought that maybe Vanny was also a therapy AI. It would make sense that Glitchtrap knew a lot about Elizabeth and Michael if Vanny was one of them's therapist and they shared the same database, and Elizabeth does seem to recognise Vanny's name when she watches Alexandra's tape. The only thing is that she doesn't seem to recognise Elizabeth or Mike. Idk, it still could be plausible, but I'm not convinced.

I honestly don't know if this theory is anyway feasible or realistic. The timeline and lore honestly makes my head hurt a little bit. Regardless, I'm so excited for Friday! Can't wait to watch Taking Back Fazbear's (and hopefully not laugh at how horrifically wrong my theories are)

[averseunhinged]

it's wip wednesday again, and because i'm incapable of just looking at something and then putting it aside for later for my own good, here's a new chonk of last week's soulmates au.

“Tell me, how have you been feeling the past six months or so?” He tutted at her preemptively. “The truth, please. No polite, little social niceties. There is method to my asking.”

“Awesome. Love talking about my feelings with people I barely know.” Caroline stared at her feet as she walked, arms wrapped around her waist, and struggled to speak. “Not great. But things have been busy and stressful and a lot has happened. I haven't had time to do anything but keep cleaning up the next mess. And no, I'm probably not totally okay, but people are counting on me. So, I have to be.”

"How has that manifested," Elijah pushed and then specified, "for you?"

“I don't need a therapist," she snapped back, and Elijah watched her expressive face solidify, blank and hard with a nearly inhuman stillness, a struggle with temper he had become familiar with after living with Klaus for so many years. 

“Fortuitous, as I am not one.”

“Oh, please!” she laughed with an edge of agitation. “I'd bet my entire college fund that you used to hang out with Freud and Jung just to learn how to do your whole shtick a little better. How to intimidate your enemies most effectively in under ten words.”

“Ten? Excessive. Under five, whenever possible.”

She laughed again. “See! You're trying to be funny! That has to be some kind of sneaky, psychological warfare thing.”

“It's a matter of honor. My sense of humor is nowhere near as terrible as my brother's, as you previously implied.”

The remains of her fit of temper dissipated with her laughter, tendrils of it drifting away like smoke. She sighed. “Fine. I'm...sad. Which makes sense. Everyone keeps leaving. Or dying. Which is also sort of leaving. I might have a few abandonment issues, which is totally understandable and a normal thing to have. Just because I can't brush things off like everyone else, that doesn't make me crazy or weak. I try so hard to make everything okay for everyone, but sometimes it's too much. i'm supposed to be the strong one. The good one. The one who solves everything, even when no-one will listen. But I can't sleep. And nothing tastes good anymore, not even fries or ice cream or anything. Sometimes, I even have to force myself to feed. And I–” she stopped speaking and glanced hesitantly at him. “It's going to sound crazy. Are you sure you want to hear this?”

“I would appreciate it,” he said truthfully.

She slowed down, strides shortening, and stared into the distance as though the answers might exist there. “It's like this restlessness inside of me. Like I need something, but can't figure out what that thing is. I just know I don't have it, but I have to keep trying. It makes me so frustrated with people and I don't even understand why. They never say or do the right things, but I can’t fix it or even explain what the right things are, because I don’t know. I just know it’s all wrong. Nothing feels right anymore," her voice broke. She swallowed more than once, but it still came out in a choked murmur, "And I'm always so alone."

She further stretched her shoulders, tightening her arms around her torso. Hugging herself, he realized. An attempt to hold herself together, as she'd likely been for over six months. He stopped walking. He reached out to the girl and stopped her as well.

“Thank you, Caroline,” Elijah said, his hand gentle on her elbow, their only point of contact. “My apologies, but thank you for explaining.”

“Why? I don't understand why you'd even want to know.”

“Because I had to be sure. And because Niklaus tried, but you're far more lucid than he is at the moment.”

[pianocat939]

Hand over those Yandere Raph x therapist MC HCs 🔫( I love your blog ! Your really creative )

(Big buff man = precious heart)

Never! I shall never hand my precious treasure! *jumps out window*

This can be read both romantically/platonically

Tw: Unhealthy dependency behaviour, kidnapping (very brief), heavily implied anxiety

Yandere Raph With Therapist MC

This honestly could end up in glory or disaster.

Like it's either he's healed and is better about himself or he clings really fucking bad to you.

Obviously, you guys are friends at first. He's already clingy, wanting to hang out whenever you two can. You, who notice this behaviour, ask if he wants to talk about it (as in therapy).

He denies the offer for a bit until either you insist or his brothers shove him to it.

The first session is awkward for him since he's never really exposed his inner feelings often. And if I'm being honest, he's not even aware of his problems sometimes.

Slowly, but surely he opens up; where the session goes from answering a few questions to full-out rambles. But, this also means his anxiety and burden alter into a new form. He becomes dependent and starts to crave your presence.

Initially, he'll invite you to hang out back even before the therapy but now he's begging you to come and hold him; let him soak up your entire being.

It gets so bad he might even try to break into your house just so he can be in the same room as you (at night most likely).

You, who easily can see the cause of the behaviour, try to find another thing he can rely on. Plushies, hobbies, anything that will take off his mind.

He really tries to get better, but it's just so hard for him! Plushies don't speak to you, they don't hug you, and they don't breathe! Nothing can compare to the comfort you bring.

You brainstorm more ideas: pondering the best solution for Raph.

Meanwhile, he's pushed over the edge. He can't have you leaving him! He can't live on without you next to him!

So, out of strong emotions, he kidnaps you.

You're surprised, not expecting things to go this far. You try to reason with him, attempting to break the chain surrounding his mind. But it's no use, he just snuggles beside you while ranting about Princess Peach (god I hate how they changed her nose in the movie trailer)

——————————————————

Poor bby needs someone to rely a little on holy fuck.

- Celina

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for lying to my boss about my sexuality?

English is not my first language so please bear with me. Also, long post.

For context: I'm (30F) doing something like an unpaid virtual internship to graduate with my technical degree. I don't think there's an equivalent in the US of this but it's close enough. The thing is that is an obligatory step to graduate. If I didn't get a company to do it, my boss "fails" me (he has to give feedback to the institute for me to pass) or if I quit before finishing I have to pay for an extra semester to do it again.

Since the beginning, I found my boss annoying, he has that know-it-all kind of attitude and doesn't really accept others' opinions. I didn't think much of it and figured it didn't matter since it was just for 4 months and I was out. I carried on, became the leader of one of the teams of interns, and started to work more closely with him and the other team leaders because of it.

After the first month, he started to become inappropriate. Once I sent him a text for feedback on a report my team and I had to make, he sent me an audio and I resend it to my team because it was good feedback. When I told him this, he "jokingly" asked why would I do that, and what if he had sent me something "dirty". I was stunned. I ignored that comment and said it was good and that's why I sent it.

In another opportunity, he texted me that in another life he would marry me when I was reporting in Google Meet about my team. I ignored it again, didn't answer, and kept talking at the reunion. More recently, he sent me a text saying "I like you" and then changed it to "I like it" in response to a paper he had asked me for and then deleted the original text.

I talked about this with my therapist, friends, and brothers, and all of them advised me to keep ignoring his comments and report him to my institute once the internship was over. So I wouldn't have to do another semester in case he got offended by me rejecting his advances and failed me.

I agreed with that. But in the last couple of months, he started to do these "jokes" in the reunions we have with the other interns. Saying things like we texted each other about dirty things. I always say it's a lie and he laughs but it rubs me wrong because I don't want my peers to think I'm in my position as a result of our boss having the hots for me.

With all that being said, last Thursday we were in a reunion with just the team leaders, and he "jokingly" made this comment about how he and I talk after hours more intimately. I was having a bad day and about had it with his stupid comments, so I grabbed my cup (I was drinking tea. It has a rainbow kind of design) and said "This doesn't say anything to you?" implying that I'm a lesbian. While I am not straight, I'm not actually homosexual, I just wanted him to stop. He laughed it off saying he already knew and such and then we kept going with the reunion.

After we were done, he asked me to stay in the Google Meet and told me again he already knew that I was a lesbian that he was always joking around when he said some things to me, and that it would be weird if he didn't because he does it with everyone else. In these almost 4 months, I never heard him say anything to anyone else.

I just have a week left until I'm done and I feel awful for lying about something like that. I don't think I'll come clean, but it's been bothering me. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ihatechosingnames]

This post will be short.

After seeing Bruce skip town to be Batman full-time and alone, I say he needs to see a therapist, an exorcist (for Zur and every version of Zur he created by jumping dimensions), and a second therapist. In this exact order.

This man has not heard of "burnout syndrome" which he probably has since he did Zur, Red Mask, Insomnia, whatever and Gotham War one after the other without rest. His mind needs as much rest as his body, he doesn't need to push it till he dies.

The thing is I was hoping that this arc would have lead to some kind of revelation for Bruce to change to became a better man, but it's since the golden times of Robin-Dick that this man has made questionable decisions, and I'm not talking about letting an underage grieving child to go out and fight adult criminals. I'm talking about Zur, that he created to protect himself from "psychological attacks". I'm talking about the machine he created to "cure" Jason of his murderous way, which I theorized he created for the Joker. It is heavily implied (by the bold characters) he created both Zur and the machine around the same time.

Which makes me ask: for who he created originally this machine?

Dick, asking what happened to Jason, before disconnecting Bruce is a good move, I haven't read a lot about Dick (I mean, the last thing I've read about Dick was Vampire King Dick) but it seems that until the last minute he was conflicted, knowing what happened snapped him

the argument Bruce tries to use on Dick, about saving Jason's future victims, reeks about hypocrisy. He could have used to "cure" the Joker from his murderous insanity. Bruce truly thinks this is a cure and Jason's violence is a sickness

I don't think Dick would have been so calm in the last conversation with Bruce if he knows this.

I'm not exactly happy that Bruce has left behind his family by telling Dick and Barbara to be the parents. First of all, a group of family is not defined by traditional roles. Dick and Barbara can lead their family of brothers and sisters by still being their siblings, not their parents. Second, how dare he leave his children. In good and in bad, especially in the bad, he is their father and he just leaves. What about Damian? What about Tim? Steph? Cass? Duke? Jason?

In my opinion, at that point, Dick should have decked him again.

Bruce has a moral responsibility towards all of them, for being not only their mentor, but also being a father figure for them. Being a parent is not a job you can decide to pass on to the next person.

On the other side, I think it was much needed. Bruce was literally at the bottom and was digging even deeper, he now needs to climb up from the grave he dug. Hopefully, the next arc is going to be exactly this, Bruce getting better, in his own time. The chances he actually goes to a therapist are very low, near the impossible, but someone can hope.

[trollex-is-gay]

also flyod low key acting like a therapist/life coach for veerner was funny in 2 different ways.

Because 1. The man's got parent/big brother energy and was low key gentle parenting the two Betty spaghetti teens during his imprisonment

2. Said teenagers almost kill him and in some frame the man looked sad for their dramatic selfs. 100 percent after getting some of his own therapy and reconnecting with his siblings the man is gonna visit them in jail or something to check in on em.

I honestly kind feel bad for Velvet and Venner (And I say both of them for reasons I will elaborate on in this answer) because like. They did do some INCREDIBLY awful shit and they definitely should not have kidnapped and nearly killed Floyd just to get famous, but also they're teenagers. And I am very convinced that Velvet is not just like that to be like that. Sorry for the incoming rant but the fandom has NOT been giving Velvet any proper attention for the most part so I gotta step up to the plate for my girl. They imply that the two had decent parents and a very nice household to grow up in, but even then, Velvet could've been affected by some outside force. Or even an inside force! It could be a mental thing that has affected her, but it went completely unchecked because everyone assumed she was just an overemotional brat and her brother didn't want to stand up to anything she was doing or saying. NOW, of course that doesn't make a single thing she did okay, nothing of what she did was okay at all. I don't want anyone to think I'm excusing her actions. Especially not how she treated her brother. But what I'm saying is that there's maybe a reason for her behavior, because I don't think she's some fully evil person. She did include Veneer in the being famous act and gave him pretty much everything she got, so it seems like some tiny part of her still cared about him. She does need punishment for her actions (and so does Veneer, come on people he contributed no matter how sweet he is) and definitely needs to face what she did, but I'd hope they aren't giving the siblings a life sentence or something because what they did wasn't that far off from what the bergens were doing. Those guys were straight up eating trolls to get happy, and the trolls became cool with them eventually. I do like the idea of Floyd visiting the two. He's not over what they did (who would be?) but he has a connection with Veneer and when she'd finally calmed down and they'd gotten a grasp on whatever the heck made her act that way, I'd like to believe that Floyd would try and made a connection with Velvet. Maybe talk through some feelings during their very brief prison visits. He recognizes that they're still teenagers, they did horrible stuff, Velvet especially, but she's still an emotionally unstable teenager who needs some kind of help, and Veneer could use some of that help too. I mean they don't mention their parents beyond Veneer's one-off comment about their childhood, for all we know their parents could be out of the picture and these two are living on their own. Who's to say anyone was checking in on how they were doing when they weren't putting on fronts in public?