#not gonna start posting them until like tuesday or something

[thecapricunt1616]

Balessan - (c.b. oneshot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒):“The Cub takes down The Bear at the 20 yard lineee!!” Mikey shouts ferociously, jumping up and pouncing on Carmys chest in a bodyslam. Carm groans, “Ohhh you little cheater- when did we start wrestling?! They don’t do bodyslams in football, kid” he wraps his arms around Mikey, caging him in and tickling his sides, causing him to squeal and laugh wildly.

♡ O.S Inspo: Balessan ; Also known as: Poplar Buds, Balsam Poplar, Balm of Gilead, Mecca, Mecca Balsam, & Bechan - This Magickal herb can be used to bring forth; Love, manifestations, protection, healing, de-stressing, and assisting in healing from the loss of a loved one. Use in love sachets; carry for healing, protection, and mending a broken heart. ♡ Summary: This amazing, big brained, fabulous & wonderful request is inspired from this ask from my beautiful flower @daysofyellowroses - Thank you my love. -- In this O/S You & Carmy spend a day with his nephew at the park!

♡ W/C: 4,200

♡ Posted Date: 03/19/2024

♡ A/N: Aaaa! look at me pumpin' these one shots out like hot cakes!!! Get your requests in folks I have a long weekend ahead hahaha!! This was BEYOND fun to write, thank you so much again Rose for such an amazing request. I hope it's everything you imagined!! I lovee love love writing mushy happy Carmy, he deserves all the love in his life!! I totally see him being the pushover uncle just like this, Happy Meals & Ice Cream for daysss!!! <3

♡ Warnings for BTC: NONE!!! Well... carmy smokes a cigarette at the end? That's all hahah - ***NO USE OF Y/N - AS LITTLE PHYSICAL DESCRIP. AS POSSIBLE - READER IS CALLED 'BLOSSOM' IN THIS O/S :)***

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

Carmen had never felt true love before. He didn’t think he’d ever know what that felt like. He’d heard stories of parents meeting their newborn babies for the first time, saying that ‘it was an indescribable feeling of holding the entire world in the palm of your hands.’ And that to him, sounded like bullshit. 

It was sweet and all, but considering the way his mother and father treated he and his siblings growing up- that moment was fleeting at the very least. 

That was what he’d thought, until that is- he got the call that would change his life, forever. 

Sugar and Pete had kept the gender of their baby a secret, Carmy was very excited for them, and though Pete wasn’t his favorite person- he knew in his heart he’d be a great dad. Better then he could ever do at least, so that had eased his mind for the new blood of his family. 

Pete had called to inform him that Sugar had given birth, finally, he thought to himself. He didn’t realize that the labor process could take days. Sugar had went into the hospital on Tuesday, in the early afternoon when her water had broken- it was now 4 pm Thursday evening. It was about time for the kid to make an appearance. 

He’d made his way down to the hospital right away, no questions asked. It was Sugar after all, and after Pete had told him she wasn’t having any visitors, but had requested that he specifically come see her- he wasn’t gonna let her down. 

He’d even stopped at the 24-hour deli convenience store on the way, getting her a club sandwich that she’d been moaning about not being able to have for months - something about pregnant people not being allowed to have lunch meat? He wasn’t sure what that was about. 

When he got in the room, it was so quiet, he could hear his heart thumping in his ears. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous- it’s not like the kid was gonna have an opinion on him…yet. But still, he knew first impressions were important. He also didn’t want to fuck anything up, he wasn’t very sure how to hold a baby- he’d never held Eva when she was young, and he heard babies necks were super floppy, so he was really nervous he’d hurt them by mistake.

“Hey..” he said softly, and Sugar sits up. She looked utterly exhausted, she was pale, her hair was knotted and sweaty all stuck to her forehead, and her eyes were bloodshot from either pain or being so tired, he wasn’t sure which. 

“Bear! You came!” She said quietly, opening her arms for a hug. He walks over to her, carefully wrapping his arms around her as he wasn’t sure if her stomach would be hurting or not, and kissing her cheek lovingly. 

“Y’re amazing Sugar, you did so good, thats fuckin’ crazy- you had a baby, Sug” he tells her, rubbing her arm gently. Carmen didn’t know much about pregnancy and birth, other than what he’d learned from Sugar over the past year or so. The only thing he really knew about the birthing process was what he’d seen on TV, and the fact that birth hurt like an absolute bitch, and that there was no way around it. 

“Thank you…is that-“ she asked, picking up the bag he’d placed next to her on the bed. He smiled a bit, pulling the sandwich out. 

“Club sandwich. Don’t say I never listen to you” he teased and she pouted, tears filling her eyes and she pulled him into another hug. 

“Y’re the best Bear.” She said. “Sorry…I’m gonna be hormonal for like..another year” she laughed a bit. 

He chuckled softly, rubbing her back. “I’m used to it by now.” He teased. 

The door opened, and a nurse wheeled in a bundle of white striped blankets in to the room, lying in a bassinet. 

“Oh! Uncle is here! Okay so baby did great, they’re all set. We got all the bloodwork we needed, took their k shot, everything is looking wonderful. I’ll let you get acquainted” she said, being sure not to give away the baby’s name or gender before they were ready, leaving the little bundle next to Sugars bedside before heading out and closing the door quietly behind her. 

The baby coos, making sweet adorable little noises. Carmen took the bag of food for Sugar, placing it on her bedside table as she carefully picked up her baby, cradling them in her arms. 

Carmen was in awe. Everything about them was so…tiny. So pure, so untouched by the world. He carefully nudged the blanket down so he could get a better view of their face, the babies teeny little hand peeking out. He couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped his lips as the babe curled their whole hand around his forefinger. 

“Sug” he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes and falling to his cheeks before he could try and hold them back. “Oh god…” he said softly, stroking the baby's tiny fingers with his thumb. 

“Michael Anthony Lombardi” she said softly. He looks up at her, jaw dropped. 

It was totally something sugar would do, so sentimental. Naming her first son after her 2 brothers. But now, Carmen felt even more attached to the little guy. He was carrying his name- he had to take care of him, protect him, the same way Michael had done for him. 

Carmen sniffles, kissing her head and resting his cheek on top of it as he looks down at the beautiful little baby. Well- maybe not beautiful physically- yet. Carmen always thought brand new babies looked fairly weird, of course he’d never tell Sugar that, though. 

But, beautiful in the sense that he knew what this baby meant for them, for their family. It was a brand new beginning, and maybe- just maybe…this would be enough to get his mother to clean up her act enough to be the grandmother for this baby how she couldn’t be a mother to he and his siblings.  “Nice to meet you, Mikey” he said with the kind of smile that made his eyes crinkle, vision blurry with tears.

It had been about 6 months since you and Carm had met, and one of the things you loved about him was what an active, engaged uncle he was with his little nephew, Michael. 

He’d grown plenty now since the first time he and the little cub met, being ‘a whole hand and a thumb’ as Mikey proudly told you the time you’d met the little firecracker at the first family dinner you’d attended. 

That little boy was Carmy’s sun, moon, and all of his stars. He was constantly spoiling him with new toys, clothes, taking him out for “Mikey and Bear” days, the kid was the lockscreen on his phone for crying out loud. If you weren’t dating him, with the way he talks about that boy- you’d think he was a single dad. 

Sugar very much appreciated it though, she never wanted to stop working when she’d gotten pregnant, so being able to balance four different days off with 3 adults, rather than just split the duties between her and Pete- it helped their lives as a couple run a lot smoother overall. 

It took a while for Carmy to even introduce you to Mikey. He’d been nervous, reverting to his old ways of ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ and nothing would crush him more, then introducing his favorite little guy to someone, getting him used to them, and then them leaving him.

He could handle that rejection- but he damn sure wasn’t gonna subject Mikey to that same pain. If there was one thing Carmen swore, it was to protect the child with everything he had. 

This was the third time you’d be meeting Mikey. Carmy had asked if you wanted to take him to the park together for a picnic after he’d picked him up from school, and of course you agreed. There was no better way to spend the afternoon than sharing snacks with your Bear under the shade of oak trees from the late spring sun, and chasing around Sugars mini-me until he clonked out on the blanket for a nap. 

When you’d arrived to the park to meet them, you spotted Carm’s large black blanket with his backpack and 2 matching big and small Nalgene water bottles, adorned with stickers from different water parks and amusement parks they’d been to together, but he nor Mikey were nowhere to be seen. But you couldn’t miss them with how loud Mikey was being. 

“No! No! I call foul!!” Carm laughed boisterously. You continue on, seeing them come in to view past the blockade of a large tree- to find Carmy rolling in the grass as Mikey tackled him for the football he was holding. 

“The Cub takes down The Bear at the 20 yard lineee!!” Mikey shouts ferociously, jumping up and pouncing on Carmys chest in a bodyslam. 

Carm groans, “Ohhh you little cheater- when did we start wrestling?! They don’t do bodyslams in football, kid” he wraps his arms around Mikey, caging him in and tickling his sides, causing him to squeal and laugh wildly.

“Wow! Uncle Bear has been lacking at the gym, thanks for takin’ care of my light stuff Mikey” you said teasingly with a big smile. 

Mikey quickly got up, running over to you “Blossom!!!” he squealed, crashing into your waist, nearly knocking you over in the process. Blossom had become your nickname in the family, since the first time they’d met you, Carm insisted you’d smelt like cherry blossoms, to which Sugar and Richie agreed, so from then on- you were Blossom. 

“Woah! Kid you’re getting strong huh? Peewee football training been gettin intense?” You give him a big hug. 

Carm chuckled, getting up and dusting the grass and leaves from his hair and shirt, coming over and greeting you with a peck on the lips. “Tell me ‘bout it- Thanks for meeting me, kids got crazy energy today.” He said, ruffling the boys curly soft brown hair lovingly. 

“Nowww can we eat our lunch?” Mikey looked up at him, his pretty blue eyes sparkling in the afternoon light. He really did look like Mikey, and Carmy mixed together in the best way. The Berzatto family genes were mighty strong, at least on the men’s side. 

“Yes Cub. Y’know…you scammed me into a happy meal before we got here, how can you be so starved?” He teased, causing you to giggle. 

“Again? Wow Carm, you’re going softer and softer as the days go by” you teased, sitting down with he and Mikey on the comfortable blanket under the shade of the trees.

“Well it’s hard to tell him no. Did you know he got a 100% on his spelling test t’day? Mikey, tell Blossom how to spell ‘water’ ” he told him with a grin. 

Mikey looks over proudly “w-a-t…” he stops for a moment, looking at Carmy nervously. 

“You got it bud, keep goin’- sound it out, what’s next?” Carmy encourages gently. 

“E! It's E! w-a-t-e-r!” Mikey finishes proudly and you both clap for him excitedly. 

“Oh my goodness! You are such a smart boy. Good job Mikey!” You gush, giving him a high five. 

“That’s right the smartest. First spelling test of the year, and you nailed it bud!!” Carmy praised, hugging him and kissing his head sweetly. 

“Mommy’s gonna be so excited!” He said, sitting crisscross as he opened up his pb&j Carm packed for him. 

“She’s gonna be stoked, Cub. Absolutely stoked” you told him, taking the sandwich Carm had offered you. 

“Oh! Blossom I learned a new joke- listen, so you say who’s there when I say ‘knock knock’ got it?” Mikey asks and you nod with a smile. 

“Alright, thank you for my lines ahead of time, Cub” you joked, earning a chuckle out of Carmen who had surely heard this joke one million times since he’d learned it, considering he saw the kid no less then 5 days a week. 

“Knock knock!” Mikey said, looking at you expectantly. 

“I’m doing the dishes” you said, causing Mikey to burst into adorable giggles and Carm to follow suit since he couldn’t help himself when Mikey got started. 

“Nooo! Blossom!” He giggled “you say ‘who’s there’ this time, ok?” He said and you nod. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll make sure to be not so busy this time.” You teased with a giggle. 

“Knock knooock!” He said again. 

“Hold on just a second! I need to feed mister mittens- my cat!” You said and he laughs again, shaking his head. 

“You promised! Blossom! It’s ‘who’s there!’ “ he giggled. 

“Okayyy! Okay! Whoooos there?” You oblige. 

“Harry!!!” He said happily, popping a grape in his mouth. 

“I don’t know a Harry- so scram!” You teased and he laughed so hard he snorted, causing you and Carmy to crack up in a fit of laughs together. 

“You’re bad at jokes Blossom, here watch, Bear will do it right f’me. Bear, knock knock” he looks over at Carm. 

“Who’s there, Cub?” He said, taking a bite of his own sandwich. 

“Harry” he smiled big, “listen blossom” Mikey urges, causing you to giggle. 

“Harry who” Carm said with a large grin.  “Harry up and open the door it’s raining out here!!!” Mikey said, bursting in to a fit of giggles which of course caused you and Carm to join.

“Ready or not here I come!” You hear Carmy say. You hold your finger to your lips, holding Mikey tightly in your lap in the tube slide so you both won’t fall and give up your ingenious hiding spot the two of you had come up with.

“Shhh! We gotta be quiet Cub or he’s gonna find us- the bear will eat you!” you joked and he covered his mouth quickly to contain his giggles.

“Where are youuuu!” Carmy called from the other side of the playground, you giggled quietly to yourself. 

“We picked a good spot bud!” you whisper proudly and he nods, hugging your arm sweetly. Leg suddenly cramps up from being in such an awkward position in a tube meant for children much shorter then you, and you gasp quietly, moving your foot to relieve it but in the struggle- your flip-flop slips off, sliding down the tube slide and you hear it thump on the ground below, blowing up your hiding spot. 

You and Mikey look at eachother as you hear Carm laugh, “Ohhhh! Dead!! You’re both dead!” he said and you quickly lift Mikey behind you. 

“Go Mikey! Save yourself he’s gonna eat you!!!” you laugh and he scrambles out of the tube as Carm climbs up from the bottom, grabbing your bare foot.

You squeal in laughter as he pulls you down the slide by your feet, catching you at the bottom and kissing all over your face and neck, nibbling as he goes. “You’ve been caught” he growls playfully, pinning your arms above your head and kissing where your shirt rode up over your stomach leaving playful lovebites on your hips.

“Hey!” Mikey yells, running up and hugging Carms leg, hanging on it like a little monkey. “Thats my best friend! Leave her alone you big grizzly bear!” he yells through his giggles, playfully hitting Carmys leg.

“Ohhhh you’re dead Cub, dead meat buddy” he pulled away from you, scooping Mikey up and swinging him around. “Y’think y’can just beat up y’re best uncle mm little man?” he holds him upside down by his legs holding him carefully and dangling him in front of your face causing him to laugh wildly. “I present your savior Blossom, he’s been defeated” he sways him teasingly causing him to laugh more.

  “Oh noooo! Cub! The Bear got you! I forgot to tell you….he and I were working together in secret- mwahaha!!” you laugh evilly, tickling his exposed belly and he wiggles screeching in laughter.

“Not fair- Not fair!!!” he said between giggles. Carm carefully laid him on your lap so he wouldn’t get sick from being upside down and checks his watch for the time.

“Alright- we got 15 minutes, do we want swings, slide, or playing a game?” Carmy asked, causing Mikey to whine. 

“Noooo! Bear! It’s not time yet!!! It’s not even dark” he pouted, pointing at the sun, causing Carm to smile. 

“Y’re right, its not dark, but bein’ a big man in kindergarten means you got big man responsibilities now, like goin’ home and doin’ homework w’Dad yeah? He’s gonna be waitin’ on you, Dad’s not a man I can reason with m’friend, Higher rank on the totem” he ruffled his hair. 

“Fiiiine” Mikey grumbled. “I wanna do swings, race me-” he jumps up from your lap, sprinting towards the swingset.

“Wha- hey! You’re supposed to say 1,2,3, go! Those are the rules cheater!” Carmy laughs as he jogs after him. You slipped on your flipflop, going after the two boys.

“I beat you! See Blossom my new shoes make me so fast!” Mikey called to you proudly, hopping up and sitting in the swing as Carmy finally caught up.

“I did! Super fast Mikey!” you agreed with a giggle making your way up to the swingset. 

“Oh! Oh! Blossom, let’s see who can get higher!” Mikey said happily and you oblige, sitting on the swing next to him.

“Alright, Bear- you’re the judge I guess” you smiled, starting to pump your legs.

“I’m a tough critic, I expect perfect form outta you” he teased, sitting down on the picnic table in front of the swingset as he watched. 

“I’m gonna win” Mikey said confidently, already getting a few feet higher then you had. 

You giggled, “Yeah- cause you had a head start” you counter, pumping your legs harder trying to gain more momentum.

“It’s lookin’ good for Mikey babe, keep it up kid y’re doin’ great” Carm encouraged, resting his hands behind his head and stretching his legs out as he watched. 

“Bear can I jump off and you catch me?” Mikey asked hopefully to which Carmen laughs.

“Noooo way kiddo, I’m not takin’ a trip to the ER t’night, I got work in the morning and either i’ll end up hurt, or y’mother will kill me” he said, causing you to laugh as well.

“You’re gonna break your neck kid, don’t do that at school, did that once as a kid and I broke my ankle” you giggled, gasping as your flipflop flew off once again and hit Carmen right over the top of the head, causing you and Mikey to burst out in a fit of giggles.

“Hey!” Carm said, rubbing his head jokingly with a chuckle.”Those things are proving to be a horrible choice of park footwear, baby” he snorts, setting the shoe next to him on the bench for when you got off.

“I’m sorry! My work shoes were a worse choice and these are all I had in my locker” you giggled, the wind whipping your hair as you get higher and higher in the air.

“Bear! Bear! Look how high I am!!!” Mikey said proudly to which Carm nods with a big grin.

“That’s right bud! Y’re so high right now, bet you could touch an airplane if it was flyin’ over huh?” he said, digging his phone out of his pocket to take a video. “Say hi to Mommy!” he said and Mikey laughed happily, waving at Carm.

“Hiiii Mommy! I love you!” he said sweetly with a giggle. “Am I beating Blossom? Huh Bear? Am I higher?” he said and Carm chuckled.

“Mhmm- sorry baby, I think Mikey has ya beat this time around,” he said, ending the video and slipping his phone back in his pocket.

“Well how could I beat the best huh?” you mused, stopping pumping your legs so your swing would slow. 

“I told you!” Mikey giggled, digging his heels into the woodchips to come to a hard stop and running up to Carmy, giving him a big hug. “Can we get ice cream bear?” he asked and Carm laughed, shaking his head.

“You don’t stop, huh kiddo? No ice cream, It’ll spoil y’r dinner. How ‘bout, if y’really good at school this week- When I get you on Friday, we’ll go you ‘n me yeah?” he pats his back and Mikey nods with a pout.

“Pinky promise” He holds up his pinky and Carmy hooks his own around it, kissing Mikeys hand, and Mikey kisses his. 

“See? Deal” he ruffled his brunette curls and got up, grabbing the flip flop and coming up to you, crouching down grabbing your leg and kissing down your calf causing you to giggle before he carefully put the flip flop on your foot.

“I want a piggyback!” Mikey said, jumping on Carmys back to which he caught his balance with his forearm.

“Woah! Okay! Alright piggyback it is bud but y’gotta tell me yeah? We don’t want anyone gettin’ hurt” he told him, hiking him up on his waist as he stood up, Mikey wrapping his arms around his neck securely.

“Ok I’ll tell you next time” he replied. You hopped off the swing, taking Carmy’s hand and interlacing your fingers as you walked, swinging your hands together happily. The weather was absolutely perfect today. Not a cloud in the sky, perfect humidity, 72 degrees, you were surprised there weren’t more people here at the park other than the fact it was a Wednesday afternoon.

The three of you made your way back over to the blanket, and Carmy gently sets Mikey down to fold it up and pack up his backpack with the remainder of the food we couldn’t finish. “Blossom look! Look! I can jump so high in my new shoes!” Mikey said, tugging your pants to look at him and you obliged, keeping him busy as Carm tried to get everything situated to pack into the car. 

“Alright little jumping bean, time to go home d’you wanna race to the car, or I’ll carry you?” He asked, putting on his backpack and carrying Mikeys for him.

“Race- 123go!” Mikey said quickly before taking off and you laughed. Carm shakes his head with a smile, holding your hand as you both walked after him to the car. 

The ride back was full of laughter and singing Bluey songs, of course. That was Mikey’s favorite show at the moment, and you couldn’t help but smile at the way Carmy sang with Mikey along to every word. Carmy had even gotten a little Bluey air freshener that hung on his rearview mirror, just another little piece of Mikey that hung around, alongside his carseat that permanently lived in the back, the polaroid of him, sugar, and Mikey on his dash, the many toys scattered along the backseat. It was more than clear that the little guy held his entire heart in the palms of his hands. 

“Alright buckaroo” Carmy said as he pulls into sugars driveway. Mikey unbuckles himself, flinging forward and wrapping you into a hug. 

“Bye awesome blossom, thanks for playing with me” he said sweetly. You smiled, ruffling his hair and wrapping your arms around him.

“We’ll do it again soon, bud. Be good yeah? Listen t’your momma” You told him, patting his back. Carmy got out, grabbing his bluey backpack for him, helping him out of the car and carrying him up the steps, opening up the door and heading in to drop him off.

You opened up the center console, digging out Carm’s cigarettes and a lighter, knowing he was gonna be craving one bad when he got back in the car. Sugar didn’t even have to ask, as soon as the baby was born- if he was gonna be around the baby he wasn’t smoking until after he’d left, so there was absolutely no chance of any secondhand smoke being passed on to him.

Cracking the window, you lit it, taking a drag as he shuts the door behind him and comes back to the car. You offered the cigarette between your fingers and he smiled, taking it after he buckled his seatbelt. “Have I reminded you today, how much I love you my perfect angel” He leaned in, giving you a sweet lingering kiss on the lips. 

You smiled, humming softly at the sweet gesture. “Yes- well- not in person today, but, you did text me - good morning, I love you when you went to work, so that counts” he smiled as he took a drag, backing out of the driveway carefully. 

“Well, I love you baby, What are we doin’ f’r dinner? Am I cookin’ er we goin out?” he cracks his window, ashing his cigarette before having another drag, resting his tattooed hand on your thigh, stroking gently as he drove.

“I’m in the mood for some Berzatto Family Pasta” you hum, resting your hand out the window to feel the cool kiss of the spring evening breeze.  “Family pasta it is, Blossom”

[monsterrae1]

🧑🏽‍🍼tease tidbit Tuesday 🧑🏼‍🍼

Tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @tizniz @spotsandsocks @dangerpronebuddie @exhuastedpigeon @underwaterninja13 @wikiangela thank you besties!!

A little something something from my abo fic and also a question:

This fic is a wip and idk when I’ll be done but would you guys like me to start posting now and update as I write or wait until I’m done?

Anyway here’s the snippet:

Buck chewed on his lip again, the same spot that was already raw, Eddie balled his hands into fists to resist the urge to press his thumb against it and break the skin free, to soothe the irritation with his touch.

“Okay,” Buck said after a while, and after Eddie thoroughly washed his hands he hesitantly handed his baby to Eddie.

“I’m not gonna go anywhere,” Eddie assured him, “I’ll hold him right here while you eat.”

Buck nodded, and finally let go completely of Thomas. They both held their breath waiting to see if Thomas was going to wake up and start crying, but all he did was nuzzle into Eddie, his little nose pressed to Eddie’s chest, and settling back to sleep.

“Uh,” Buck tilted his head, looking at his son confused, “He hasn’t done that with anyone before.”

Eddie tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest at the implications, “He must recognize my scent from the ambulance,” Eddie said, “That’s all.” Buck nodded but he was still staring at them with a little awe in his eyes, “C’mon, get some food in you, you look like you’re gonna pass out any moment.”

Buck chuckled, “You’re not wrong about that, I feel like I haven’t slept since I went into labor.”

“Well, I don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours, and I did promise to help you paint too, so you can get some sleep while I’m here, I promise to be quiet.”

Buck stared at him, stopping wolfing down his food for a second, “Listen, Eddie, huh, that’s very nice of you, and I appreciate it, but you don’t need to.” He took a deep breath, “I just had a baby, I’m not really looking for courtship or anything like that.”

Eddie blushed, “No, I know, I promise I’m not gonna try and court you, I genuinely just wanna help, from one single dad to another, okay?” Even if Eddie had wanted to court Buck, he knew that right now wasn’t the right time, if ever, for all that Eddie knew Buck’s alpha might come back any day now and he wouldn’t need Eddie’s help anymore.

Tagging if they wanna share anything:

@loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @bi-buckrights @prettyboybuckley @eddiebabygirldiaz @saybiwithme @doublecheekedkinard @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @spaceprincessem @bidisasterbuddies @jacksadventuresinwriting @jesuisici33 @evanbi-ckley @911onabc @housewifebuck @wildlife4life @rogerzsteven @loveyouanyway @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @father-salmon @giddyupbuck @devirnis @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @spagheddiediaz @sunshinediaz and whoever else wants to do it

[klausinamarink]

The New Highs and Lows of a Ball Boy

rating: G | cw: ankle injury | tags: volleyball, pre-relationship, Jeff is Eddie’s best friend, sweetheart Steve, secret Shakespeare fan Steve, post S1 | wc: 1000

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles | Dec 22: Sports AU

-

This is humiliating. Eddie thought miserably as he stood next to the wheeled box of volleyballs. He wasn’t even allowed to sit down on the bench. The coach couldn’t let him help with the net’s setup 

He glanced again at the gym’s clock. 3:27. God, he should be doing the Hellfire campaign right now.

But nope. Jeff had forced him to postpone the next campaign to Tuesday because the boy’s volleyball team had some extra practice today for some upcoming state tournament Eddie gave little fucks about. Then Jeff had (albeit apologetically) dropped the bomb that he wanted to drag Eddie to the gym as their replacement ball boy.

Eddie did not like that and refused to budge.

Until Jeff had looked Eddie in the eye and said, “Postpone and do this favor for me or I will tell the club about the trash can incident.”

The unwavering confidence Eddie had at the time immediately froze into dread. “You wouldn’t-”

“What’s the trash can incident?” Frankie had asked.

Jeff had opened his mouth to answer but Eddie frantically shut him. “Fine! I’ll postpone Hellfire and be your stupid ball boy!”

He hasn’t stopped regretting this decision.

Across the gym, the jocks were doing some stretches. Of course, one of them was Steve Harrington because god forbid a single sport team be untouched by the King of Hawkins.

He caught Jeff’s eye and gave him the most pissed off stare, conveying the you did this to me message. Jeff just smiled and waved at him cheerfully like a child getting his dad’s attention. A couple jocks noticed and laughed, though Jeff immediately turned around and said something that backed them off.

Well, Eddie couldn’t hate him forever.

Few minutes later, the net was up and the coach whistled for everyone’s attention. He said some things that Eddie zoned out on. Another whistle and the players scrambled to their teams. Some of them took positions on opposite sides of the net and others sat on the bleachers. Eddie tried not to scowl at Jeff and Steve being on the same team.

See, as much as he decries it, Eddie does enjoy watching sports. Preferably baseball on the TV networks Wayne would tune in sometimes after work. Not because he was a fan but because it was much easier to cheer on a team in your room instead of dozens of other students who saw the jocks as untouchable stars instead of assholes.

So while he had not idea how the fuck volleyball works, he kept his eyes on Jeff whenever he had the ball and slammed it over the net. He was much better than Steve, who seemed to be doing nothing at his corner of the gym. 

And then Steve finally made a move. Eddie watched in real time as Steve ran right behind Jeff and another kid, jumped up to hit the ball over the net, and landed back down only his left foot to roll right underneath.

Steve collapsed completely, immediately clutching his ankle. Even Eddie cringed at the sight. For a few minutes, everyone gathered around Steve and watched as the boy tried to put weight on his now-bare foot, only to shut his eyes and vigorously shake his head.

“Sit on the bench next to Munson, Harrington.” The coach ordered. Eddie just stood as Steve hobbled himself over to the bench and sat down. He gasped for breath as he ran for a marathon.

“You were shit anyways.” Eddie blurted out. He almost regretted it when Steve turned his head towards him. Instead of snarling at him to fuck off, Steve laughed, his eyes crinkling.

“Gonna be honest, I’m kinda new to volleyball.” Steve wheezed, rubbing his ankle tenderly. The skin was terribly red and swelling a bit. Jeff appeared and gave him an ice pack, which Steve thanked him for. 

Jeff looked at Eddie and mouthed, “Don’t start anything.”

Eddie just grinned and flipped him off. Jeff rolled his eyes, lightly punched his shoulder, and returned to the court as practice continued.

“Why would the King even try volleyball this late within the spring court?” Eddie asked flourishly. 

Steve squinted at him for a moment before shaking his head, “Hey man, don’t call me the King, ‘kay? I actually hate the name.”

“But it’s your crown, so heavy is it to wear!” Eddie held both hands against his own hands, feigning a scandal. 

Steve snorted, his lips turning up with a smirk, “My crown’s in my heart, not on my head. Not decked with diamonds or stones nor to be seen. It’s just content.”

Eddie felt his jaw drop to the floor. He stared at Steve, taken aback by the words and the slightly mournful tone he’d spoken in. Steve looked back at him, his smirk falling into a small, insecure frown. Wait, since when had Steve Harrington looked insecure? Why did he also look close to crying?

No time to unpack all of that, Eddie shook himself back to reality and cleared his throat. “D-Did- did you just quote Shakespeare?”

The vulnerability was gone and Steve sent him a charming smile that did dangerous things to Eddie’s gut. “It’s paraphrased, but yeah.”

Eddie felt a grin breaking through his face and leaned over Steve. “Never knew you were such a theater kid. What a charmer.”

He saw the way Steve's cheeks turned a shade darker, how his Adam’s apple bobbed with a small swallow, and how his eyes briefly flicked to Eddie’s lips. 

If they weren’t alone, Eddie was certain they would be honest to god grabbing each other’s faces and-

A sharp blow of the whistle jerked Eddie back. The coach was pointing wordlessly at the extra volleyballs. Eddie quickly picked a random ball and threw it to the court. When he looked back at Steve, he was too attentively pressing the ice pack on his ankle.

On the court, Eddie saw Jeff staring back at him with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

[celaenaeiln]

I always love how heros only kill if there really is no other options. Even then, their deeply disturbed or torn up about it. Killing is easy. But seeing a criminal as a person at the end of the day is much harder. It takes an unfathomable amount of strength to keep this going. It won't always work and it's not easy. But there's a difference between right and easy.

Oh me too!!

Anon you have no idea how much I’ve thought about this over the past five years and come to the same conclusion every time.

There are two reasons why I like that heroes only kill as an extreme necessity.

The first is what you said. It's extremely difficult to be able to control yourself in the face of repulsiveness. Some I do believe are irredeemable but many characters are not worth killing. Because there's a lot that goes into killing. It's not just about moral ethics for me, it's also about how that impacts society. I don't know if you've seen the show "The Boys", but it's about heroes who kill. Originally they kill criminals but at some point their anger and frustration bleeds over and they start killing innocents. The repercussions on society were massive. There was a significant loss of trust and hatred and fear going on. Ordinary people like the main character and the rebel side were dragged into a world and fighting that perpetuated fear and bloodshed until everything became irreversible. It's a terrifying world I would absolutely not want to live in. In the previously posted comic Batman says:

He's not saying this lightly. In a world where killing criminals is done and seen as common place by the people, what's stopping the people from following their hero's actions? Nothing is ever contained on the internet and nothing is ever done in moderation. It's like watching your favorite superhero blast a bad guy's head off on TV and turning around to seeing your mom blast your dad's head off with a gun over an argument about going to the movies. The violence is commonplace, after all. It takes an incredible amount of willpower, far more than anyone gives credit for, to look at someone who hurt you and walk away.

The canon version of this argument and why Bruce should never kill the Joker is proved in the comic, "The Batman Who Laughs." I was terrified for Damian when he encountered that universe.

The second reason I love the no-killing rule- and it's a little more twisted- is because I love self-control.

Not just as a person who tries to practice it in their life but there’s just something so exciting about a character who fights with control.

Having someone run free is super fun to read but having someone who never breaks the line, edge so dangerously close to it, but never kill? Oh the feeling is delicious. You're left pondering-what is it? What will it take? What will cause you to break?

Ironic. I know. But you can't tell me you were never curious about their limits.

Aside from that excitement, I love how the villains are reusable. They may be your worst enemy on a tuesday but on a thursday they're dragging your broken body out of a ditch to go fight the bad guy who got on their nerves.

It's like the idiom- better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Sometimes, no matter how horrible their actions were in the past, they're keeping a larger threat at bay. For example Blockbuster and Heartless. Bane, William Cobb, Lex Luthor, Freeze, Black Manta, and Sinestro in Forever Evil. The Riddler. And when Bruce was dead/lost in time the Joker was straight up like "damn bro I'm so sad I think I'm gonna turn good" which actually sort of saved all of Gotham from that bat cult that nearly killed them. Sort of. He bailed halfway but props to him for the first half.

Also the villains in the comics are terrible people but they're good characters. Like these characters are so well-developed. You'll hate them but you'll never fully hate them because they're funny and mean and deep down, you'll never admit it but they have a small teeny, tiny point.

A couple of my favorite villain scenes:

The Riddler (Batman #699)

Joker (Batman and Robin #22)

Joker

Victor Zsaz in his undies swearing revenge on another villain. Damian and Dick in the photo

Dick bashing up Slade in Damian's body

Damian, Harvey, and Dick

[lonelychicago]

temptation tuesday

Rules: share something about an idea you have/something that's speaking to you/an au you'd like to see and are considering writing/etc. etc. Basically anything that is tempting you away from your current wips!

tagged by the lovely @buddiearemydads

chimney can't keep a secret fic: so eddie and buck want to propose and somehow chim finds out and he has to keep BOTH their secrets as every proposal goes wrong/plans get changed, and he's losing his mind bc buck and eddie are idiots and he really hates them. and like maybe buck goes to maddie's to ask for advice and he's so excited and only chim is there but he can't wait and he just has to tell someone he's gonna propose to eddie !!!! and chimney is like you fucking idiot why would you tell ME and then chimney walks on eddie admiring an engagement ring and he's just— he's at his limit. these two idiots will be the end of him.

loss of hearing fic for my bthb card! @bigfootsmom gave me the amazing idea of buck suddenly experience hearing loss after a call and just !!!!! i'm so excited for this fic and want to start writing it as soon as i can

the soulmates au i've been talking about/planning with @buddierights that au is going to be so good and ahhh i wanna write it so bad!!!

the grey's anatomy au with bartender eddie and surgical resident buck. if you're watching season 19 of grey's, think mika and helm but make it buddie <33

also!!! bc i love bartender eddie so much!! i've been thinking about a bartender eddie x bodyguard buck working together at a bar and having this kind of banter at work and just !!!! i have so many ideas for that one and i think about it often but i've never written it or started it even.

the astronaut buck au with eddie working at the control center and being buck's only lifeline to earth??? idk if im gonna write that one but yeah <3

astronauts buddie fucking in the spaceship and then having an awkward morning after bc oh shit im in love with you and we just had a one night stand but also there's nowhere else to go and this is killing me, what am i supposed to do now.

brooklyn 99 au?? i’ve been undercover for months/years and i know i told you not to wait for me but i’m still in love with you and it’s killing me

You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable STRIPPER AU

video going viral. buck and eddie are arguing on a call and one patient records them and posts the video. everyone thinks they're a married couple???

free hugs. buck is a firefighter who offers free hugs and eddie takes him up on that after a particular hard therapy session. touch starved eddie. he keeps coming back everyday until buck breaks down and asks him out.

tagging: (no pressure) @cowboy-buddie @buddierights @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @alyxmastershipper @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @fatedbuddie @destielbuddiepipeline @911onabc @spaceprincessem @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress @souschefdiaz @comaboybuck @bigfootsmom @lovebuck @dollhousejee @shortsighted-owl @messyhairdiaz @hippolotamus @maygrantgf @swiftiebuckleys @bekkachaos @ebdaydreamer @loveyourownsmiilee @jobairdxx and anyone else who wants to!!

[keffirinne]

You would look good in red / Victor Zsasz x OC

While I'm thinking to post more of my Roman x Reader oneshots, I managed to finish a few chapters of Zsasz fic that was on my mind for some time already. The story is gonna have 7, max 8 chapters.

I thought it would be fun to give Zsasz a GCPD officer to play with. He didn't seem to object.

Yes, it's gonna be smut.

You would look good in red / Victor Zsasz x OC (F!GCPD officer)

#Zsasz's creepy fantasies #blood #Zsasz being a creep #descriptions of violence

Chapter 1: Raid

Although it was May and the sun outside the window has already risen, it was chilly this morning. A cold wind, completely unsuitable for this time of year, blew through the open roof of the abandoned warehouse and easily got under Zsasz's tight-fitting t-shirt, reminding him that he should have taken a jacket. The air was filled with the salty and muddy river smell, resulting from its proximity to the docks, mixed with the metallic, strong scent of blood, resembling paint spilled in disarray, was covering much of the dirty warehouse concrete floor right now. When one of Roman's men closed the trunk with a loud clang and got into the car, the driver took off right after, leaving behind only dust and the sound of the vehicle moving away. And Zsasz. He was standing there, alone, gazing at the horizon. His breath had already calmed down and his excitement, shortlasting, started to fade, leaving him in his neutral, jovial state. For a while more, there could be heard noises of the engine rattling and the wheels bouncing on the rough road, but in time they completely disappeared. 

Avoiding the blood stains on the floor, Zsasz headed into one of the rooms that now served as a bathroom, since it had a sink. It got quiet, the recent screams and whimpers became only a memory that wasn't going to last long. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the abandoned warehouse, punctuated from time to time by the howling of the wind. Finding himself in the “bathroom”, Zsasz walked over to the tap and, smudging it with red fluid, turned on the water. Under the running, unfortunately cold water, he washed the traces of crimson, partially already dried blood from his hands, face, the tap, and started to rinse his knife. The blade shone proudly with its brilliance, having emerged its silver face from under the dark red clotted layer. Victor reached then for a cloth lying on a makeshift metal table and with surgical diligence, began cleaning his knife. He rubbed the tool for so long, looking at it carefully until he could see his own reflection in the sheet. As Victor was looking through the blade as if in a mirror and noticed a few dots of blood on his cheek, he washed them off with his thumb. 

The squawking sound of seagulls, making noise on the shore, came from the distance. It had something calming about it. Fishermans starting their shift, launching boats, just typical Tuesday. That's why when Victor suddenly heard a loud female voice close by telling him to raise his hands, he was slightly surprised.

“GCPD, you're under arrest! Drop your weapon and put your hands where I can see them!”

Zsasz turned his head toward the door where now was standing a small, blonde woman dressed in a police uniform and pointing a gun at him. He lazily wrapped his eyes around her and  stopped at the barrel pointed at his chest. It had to be a Glock 38, a 45 would have been too big for the officer’s petite hands. One of the typical weapons in the GCPD arsenal. It wasn't bad, but Zsasz didn't like its simple, even simplistic design. 

The woman reached his shoulders, but she must have been trying to make up for her physiognomic limitations with her temperament and verve. She stared at him in full concentration, a pair of determined blue eyes glared at him from under her drawn-down eyebrows. It was almost unnoticeable that she was afraid. Zsasz found this amusing and smirked out of the corner of his mouth, not stopping to wipe his knife. 

Only when several more policemen appeared behind the woman, each of them aiming at him, Zsasz's smirk changed to a small grimace. Reluctantly, he dropped the knife he just cleaned to the ground and raised his hands to the air. As soon as the blade hit the ground with a metallic clang, GCPD officers rushed into the room and like one living organism, began their activities. The petite officer he saw first approached him and pulled out the handcuffs. She efficiently fastened them on his wrists, not at all as gently as he had expected. Meanwhile, she started to deliver her procedural monologue.

“Mr. Zsasz, you are being accused of the murder of Alfred Gibbs. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can be used against you...”

Zsasz didn’t protest, the warm body of the blonde officer was a nice change on this chilly morning and to the cold steel of the handcuffs. Next, with nothing but professionalism, she proceeded with the searching procedure. Quickly yet thoroughly she inspected his legs, shoes, back. From his back pockets she pulled out his wallet and phone which immediately got seized by another officer wearing latex gloves and tucked into a transparent ziplock bag, intended for personal belongings. Meanwhile another of her colleagues was carefully picking up the knife from the ground, that Zsasz dropped, to pack it in another, identical  bag. Others were looking around the rooms, mostly interested in the red blood stains on the floor, which until some time ago had been inside the body of Alfred what was his name Gibbs. 

His officer continued the procedure with encyclopedic thoroughness. She searched the left front pocket of Zsasz's pants, which turned out to be empty, while in the right pocket she found a bunch of keys, including car keys. Zsasz was surprised when, after pulling out the keys, her hand slid back into the same pocket. He knew he didn't have anything else on him.

Before she realized what she was actually touching, her  fingers tightened on the elongated bulge in his pants for a moment. Victor glanced at her from under raised eyebrows as her hand undeniably grabbed his dick. As soon as the woman realized what turned out to be the contents of Zsasz's pocket, she shook her eyes and immediately withdrew her hand in fright, breaking her hitherto unwavering professionalism. No one else seemed to notice this minor incident, but the officer was very abashed by her mistake. Her face quickly reddened, which she wasn't able to hide until the end of the procedure. Looking in a completely different direction but Zsasz, she ordered him to move and began leading him to the police car. Zsasz stared at her shamelessly, and although she completely avoided looking at him, she felt his gaze on her, as burning as the embarrassing flush on her face.

As Zsasz passed a dozen officers panning around the warehouse, doing their ant work, he changed the object of his attention and began to wonder how they got here so quickly. And who gave them a heads-up? If they would have arrived only a few minutes earlier, and they would find him in a very awkward situation with Alfred Gibbs still alive. Although, the police might have had a problem recognizing the victim, since it's hard to recognize a man with his face missing. Not that Zsasz was concerned about being apprehended, he knew full well that even if they would find him with his hand in Gibbs' guts, declaring that yes, indeed, he just killed him, Gotham's blind justice by some sudden miracle would find his guilt ambiguous, and a few witnesses who would show up unexpectedly would shed quite a different light on the whole case, dismissing it completely.  This “miracle” actually had a simple explanation, and his name was Roman Sionis. Since he worked for Roman, he didn't have to worry about such impediments to his work as  GCPD. What he was concerned about was if by chance there was a snitch among Roman’s loyalists. 

When they left the building, his personal officer tilted his head, not at all gently, while pushing him into the back seat of one of the police cars. She herself took the passenger seat next to the driver and closed the door. What was a nice change, inside the car was warmer than outside. Zsasz stretched out comfortably, as much as his tightly fastened cuffs allowed him to. 

The car took off. Zsasz ran his eyes over the interior; it had been some time since he found himself in a police car, but he knew it well. He gazed forward, at the officer's bright ponytail, which bounced now slightly on the verges of the road. Her and her colleague were talking about something, but Zsasz couldn't hear any words, the noise of the vehicle was drowning everything out. His mind began to drift off into fantasies, awakened by the recent feeling of insatiability. 

He was convinced that he could handle the blonde officer easily if he were alone with her. It would be enough to press her against the car when getting out and put the handcuffs chain around her neck. She would clench her fingers on the metal, while squirming in place before he would strangle her. Her reddened face would turn purple and her body would slide down on the side of the vehicle and fall inertly to the ground, neck adorned with the bloody necklace. Or if she would lean over, he would grab the knife she carried at her belt.... Her bright eyes wouldn’t hide the surprise as he would be cutting her throat. She wouldn't have time to feel fear either, just staring at him dully, not processings what was happening. Hm, Zsasz was not entirely satisfied with this quick ending of both visions, he liked when his victims showed terror. Unfortunately, for lack of time, he would have to let go of this satisfying part. 

He immersed himself in his imagination, running with his thoughts further, to the GCPD police station. Being surrounded by other officers would make the job harder, but not impossible. Maybe if he stayed with her alone, for example in the elevator or in the interrogation room. He wouldn't need much time. Her body must have been soft and warm, like her hands with which she fleetingly touched him. Yes, he was sure of it. Even though she used weapons on a daily basis, her hands didn’t get rough. He wondered how long she would remain so warm and soft as she would be bleeding in his arms. 

A sudden, strong thought, like a cockblock, stopped him from exploring this exciting fantasy further. Roman wouldn't be thrilled to find out that Zsasz murdered one of the GCPD policemen at the police station. Reluctantly, he had to let go of the pleasant fantasies, which began to warm him more than the warm interior of the police car. He spent the rest of the journey staring out the window in boredom.

ao3: 1 | 2

next->

@thegreatwicked @daenerys-skywalker @supernatural-lover @dragon2d

[yanguazalie]

Author's Note: After three years of sitting on this (can you tell by how old the cover looks? lol), I've finally made the small illustrations I wanted to and now I've finally posted my first fanfic! May you enjoy some fluffy Kandy angst under the cut!

Kitty's secretive love for Mandy grows daily, sprouting like a flower through a jagged crack in the ground. She has endless opportunities to be open about her love, and yet she prefers to keep it under wraps. Is there something bigger you want to avoid, Kitty?

"Alright, so this next one's Jonathan... Oh I know Jonathan! He's the artist-slash-model, he's cute. I didn't know he liked you."

"He does! So then the issue was whether I'd hang out with Harley or with Jonathan. We could have hung out together but both wanted me to themselves, and I can't blame them!"

"Gosh how can you keep track of so many suitors? You should just stick with one like me."

"Well you know the saying, 'Plenty of fish in the sea,' Gonna catch them all and taste every one of 'em!"

"Is that what the saying means?"

On a late afternoon at the Institute of Perfection, the Spy Girls: Kitty, Lydia, and Tuesday were sitting on the raised benches along the path, where other dolls were passing by, whether to finish their remaining classes, to meet with friends, or just ditch. The Spy Girls were in the third category; they managed to get away with it more often, for one reason or another.

Lydia was gossiping to Tuesday about her current romances; she was such a socialite, so open to other dolls, if not for Lou being in charge she'd have the whole Institute at her feet. Instead she just had a growing group of dolls trying to woo her for undivided attention.

While they were chatting, Kitty was sitting next to them, looking the other way, lost in thought, about a girl... About Mandy.

Kitty was pretty responsible about leaving her heart at home. Her utmost priority, as any doll, was to graduate from the Institute and be paired with her kid. She handled all her courses with ease, most preferably the obstacle course- she and her Spy sisters were the best at it. Other classes were her second-favorites if Mandy was in them, but even Kitty knew to control herself around her.

Mandy was also very devoted to her courses, maybe even more so because of her myopia, which she had to keep under wraps from everyone. All three of the Spies knew that she wore her glasses during her free time; that was the one bit of confidence between them all, and it was far more than they would do for other dolls. So with her devotion, Mandy wasn't ever the first to chum around with other classmates, lest she catch negative attention from the staff-bots and soon from Lou.

Kitty most often found this as a chance to be beside her when they happened to have classes together, and stare at her for as long as she could with contentment. Mandy wouldn't have noticed, being so focused on the lessons, and this was exactly how Kitty wanted it.

However, her heart snuck out of the house this time, and made Kitty a lovesick doll by the end of the day. On this day, Mandy was in ALL of her classes up until this last one. And for one reason or another, Mandy took initiative to talk with Kitty! Kitty deep down was caught off-guard by her sudden friendliness, but on the outside she mirrored the mood as if it were a natural occurrence.

Mandy was all smiles throughout her classes, all while chatting with Kitty about little things, and helping each other through the courses, cracking jokes here and there, even trying to contain their giggles when it started becoming too much. There wasn't any mention on why Mandy was acting so relaxed, but Kitty was all for it. Being one-on-one with her like this, Kitty liked pretending that she was "hanging out with her girlfriend" and that put her on top of the world.

"You did it flawlessly, Mandy," Kitty mumbled to herself.

Lydia and Tuesday only heard her slightly and paused to see if she was going to say anything else. When all she did was sigh and continued to look onward, the two returned to their gossiping. Without knowing her current mood they knew she wouldn't be interested in talk about boys or quick hookups anyway.

"You really think so? I slipped a few times," Kitty imagined Mandy replying.

"Oh no no, you were great! You were so confident how could anyone notice..."

Lydia and Tuesday were too enthralled in their own conversation at this point to pay attention to their distracted sister. They were missing quite a show as Kitty quietly giggled to herself, swinging her legs back and forth out of pure happiness. Outside of the Spies' shared home, Kitty was never this loose with her manners. Only a few of the passing dolls noticed the usually sassy spy's sudden giddiness, but they knew to keep it to themselves and maybe a trusted friend later- otherwise one or all three of the spies would stick it to them if they gave the wrong notion.

"I know we're in the open," Kitty thought for Mandy again. "but do you think it'd be too much to hug each other right now? Whether or not it's because I'm a child's doll, I've been in quite a tizzy today and could use it to calm down."

"Oh you're being quite silly today," Kitty replied to herself. "Of course we can't hug! As much as I'd want to..." Within her daydream she saw Lydia's hand resting on the bench out the corner of her eye. Still neither Lydia nor Tuesday were paying attention.

"I figured as much... But... what if you kissed my hand? Then others would just think we're practicing etiquette right? Please, Kitty..."

"Oh I'd LOVE to kiss your hand, my dear girl! I'll make it count for your sake."

It wasn't until Lydia felt her hand being raised did she finally take notice to Kitty, and Tuesday noticed as soon as Lydia stopped talking. The both of them being out of the loop, just watched Kitty gently lift her sister's hand, becoming squicked at her raising it to her face, followed by a loud shout of disgust as the pink-haired doll enchantingly pressed her lips against the defenseless hand.

"Kitty, what are you DOING?! Gross!!" Lydia snatched her hand away, vigorously shaking off any "cooties" before wiping the tainted back of it on Tuesday, who responded with swatting it away from her.

Kitty, finally snapped out of her spell stared wide-eyed at Lydia, stunned by her own unorthodox behavior and feared them catching on.

"What? You don't want me kissing your hand?" Kitty said, trying to change the mood.

"No!" Lydia shouted. "Neither you or Tuesday can kiss my hand- ANYWHERE!" Lydia shuddered all over. "Cheeks are okay but those are only sometimes- UGH, I still feel it on me!"

"Oh calm down, I was only teasing," Kitty lied. "You act like EVERYONE is pining for you, I was getting tired of it."

"Well if you want to 'tease' me, don't make it so icky," Lydia replied. "Getting unexpectedly kissed has to be the grossest thing..." Lydia smirked rethinking the idea. "Well, most often."

"I wouldn't mind Lou unexpectedly kissing ME," said Tuesday, a big smile coming across her face at the thought of him. "I dream of the day!"

"Well dream in one hand and cry in another and see which fills first," Lydia said sarcastically. 

"You're being such a hater right now," Tuesday said, peeved for only a moment.

"You wouldn't want Lou to kiss your hand?" asked Kitty, trying to lighten her stunt again.

"Heck no!" Lydia protested. "He's so bossy. And he's too old!"

"No he's NOT!" Tuesday snapped. "You're as young as you're made! Don't call Lou old. And he's only bossy to YOU because you keep ignoring him." Lydia mockingly stuck out her tongue.

"Would you let Amaya kiss you?" Kitty started again.

"Oh yeah, that's fine!" Lydia said as she bounced in approval. "Anyone but you two and Lou can kiss me."

"So then you'd let Charles kiss you?"

"Yup!"

"Even Arnold?"

"Yes!"

"Sarah?"

"She kisses everyone but yes to her too! I'm telling you, anyone but you three."

This made Kitty irresponsibly suspicious. "Would you let Mandy kiss you?" She stingily asked.

"Yea- wait, MANDY? Why would SHE kiss me?"

The two dolls looked at Kitty, waiting for an answer. Kitty realized her attempt to redirect the conversation failed, and she looked away- as if that gesture alone was enough to keep their gears from turning: Why did she bring up Mandy? Mandy was close enough to all of them, but Lydia never liked her romantically, nor has Mandy ever acted any sort of way toward her to peak her interest. If anything, Mandy had more in common with...

"Ooooohhh!" The two caught on. Then they started laughing, realizing their sister's weird behavior all made sense.

"You don't have to worry about me, Kitty!" Lydia reassured. "Mandy's all yours."

"Ugh," scoffed Kitty.

"Kitty likes Mandy~♪" Tuesday chimed in.

Kitty crossed her arms and looked away from the both of them, all annoyed and embarrassed. Lydia looked at her lovingly, knowing how much Mandy meant to her and how much she loses herself at the thought of the four-eyed Polymath-slash-Model had her melting at the cuteness. Tuesday couldn't help but giggle since Kitty always acted so flawless in public, and yet here she is getting all defensive about her crush after acting so foolish.

"Looks like your affection can't be contained anymore," Lydia confirmed. "You should just tell Mandy how you feel!"

"...I don't want to," declined Kitty.

"Why not?" asked Tuesday. "The sooner you tell her the sooner she'll notice you and the sooner she'll love you back! Since I told Lou I loved him, it's way easier to get his attention and win him over."

"You mean TRY to win him over," Lydia corrected.

"He's coming around!"

"But Tuesday's right, Kitty. You have a VERY clean shot with Mandy. The two of you get along so well when you're one-on-one! You're both nerdy, like and dislike a lot of the same things, and your chemistry is so adorable!"

Kitty irked at the 'adorable' part. "Why would you say that? Have you been WATCHING me with Mandy?"

"GIRL, of course I have! Tuesday too!" Tuesday nodded proudly. "The fact you didn't know shows how good of spies we are."

"...It's not worthwhile," she said with deflated energy. "I'm fine with the way things are. And it's better this way. So I deserve to delve in daydreams like these, aren't I?"

"What do you mean?" Tuesday asked concerned.

"It's just-"

"Hey Mandy! MANDY!!" Lydia suddenly shouted. Kitty and Tuesday turned their heads to where Lydia was looking, and saw Mandy fast-walking down the path, nearly passing them.

Mandy heard her name and turned to where it came from. She squinted her eyes toward the direction, but it was all an heinous blur without her glasses. If not for the brightly colored hair of the three, she wouldn't have been able to recognize the Spy Girls.

"Hey girls!" Mandy shouted back.

"Come over here!" Lydia urged.

Mandy slightly hesitated since she was rushing to her final class, but walked over anyway.

"What's up?" Mandy asked once she made it to them.

"Girl, where you've been? I haven't seen you all day!" Lydia said, easing her in.

"We had classes all day," Mandy reminded.

"But even with the random schedules Lou gives us to 'keep us on our toes,' I see you at least once a day, in class or walking to the next one, or on days with Lou.

"I suppose? I've seen Kitty all day, though!" Mandy gave a big smile as she glanced over to Kitty. "Isn't that right?"

Kitty was becoming uncomfortable between her sisters teasing her and then Mandy being chummy toward her in front of them.

"Uh-huh," Kitty forced out of herself, staring at Mandy, frozen.

"Is that so?" Lydia said, clearly becoming intrigued.

"Yeah!" Mandy happily said. "We've been having class after class together!"

"Oh REALLY??" Lydia and Tuesday said in unison. 

"She's been my companion up until the last one. It's been fun!"

"Yeah? She's been your right-hand gal?" asked Lydia. "How's she been?"

As Mandy happily spouted all the things she and Kitty had done without a second thought, both Lydia and Tuesday observed Kitty, who was doing her best to deflect their stares. But Kitty couldn't help herself as she listened to Mandy and started smiling, noticing the joy in Mandy's voice simply because she was around her all day. For a brief moment she pretended she was being "praised by her girlfriend" and everything was pure bliss.

"Kitty can be so helpful!" Lydia promoted. "That's why she's the leader you know. She makes a VERY good PARTNER too." Kitty sneered at her for her shameless coaxing, wanting to push her over. Mandy didn't seem to catch on to that last part.

"Absolutely!" she replied, looking over to Kitty again, with her lovely and honest smile, her gold-colored eyes glimmering to match. Kitty couldn't help but smile back. She really loved this doll.

"Oh! Mandy!" Tuesday suddenly burst out. "I remembered something just now! Lydia's hands are bigger than all of ours! Almost like a boy's."

"Crazy girl, what're you spouting?" Lydia asked, feeling near-insulted.

"It's true! Mandy, the three of use sleep next to each other at night-"

"Tuesday, don't tell her that!" Kitty snapped. "Jeez!"

"Nah, I told her already," said Lydia. "When she came to our 'Elite Girls' slumber party, remember that night? Lou invited himself?"

"Hm-hm, we got to draw on his face after he passed out."

"And he went home without checking the next morning." Kitty and Lydia snickered mischievously together.

"Yeah, Lydia told me," Mandy confirmed. "It was after you two went to sleep. But it's nothing to be embarrassed about; We're children's dolls. Sleeping next to someone can be soothing."

"See Kitty? Even Mandy knows what it's all about!" Lydia then whispered in Kitty's ear, "She'll gladly sleep next to YOU." Kitty sneered at her again, then ramming her elbow into her- Lydia let out a small whine.

"ANYWAY," Tuesday resumed. "That's when I noticed the sizes! Lydia's are the biggest and mine are the smallest."

"My hands are NOT big!" exclaimed Lydia. "Put 'em up! Lemme se- Oh... they are."

Mandy chuckled. "That actually makes sense," she said. "Since you're 'Combat Princess' they would need to bigger. Makes it easier to throw good swings!"

"Wild... Mandy let me see yours then! Oh! Tuesday's ARE smaller!"

"Are they? Tuesday, let me see. Oh they are, a little bit. Maybe because you're 'Gadget Princess,' your hands need to be smaller for when your tinkering with electronics!"

Tuesday scoffed. "Small hands are for cute dolls. That's all it is! But now that's two reasons!"

"But you're all cute!" Mandy remarked. "If Lou has anything to say about it."

"But I'm the CUTEST! That's why my hands are smaller."

Kitty could already see where this weird game was going. Was this Tuesday's sneaky plan to spark a romance... or maybe she got sidetracked remembering the hand-kiss earlier? Either way, Mandy looked over to Kitty, right on time. It was her turn.

"Kitty, what about us?" Mandy asked as she went over to her. 'What about us' she says. Kitty couldn't stand it!

But even if she couldn't, she lifted her hands to avoid suspicion. Mandy pushed her own hands right against hers. This really was the first time they ever touched hands, and this Spy Girl's mind became foggier with every second that passed...

Kitty instantly became flooded with the urge to lace their fingers together and never take them apart. Mandy's hands already felt so soft when they had slid up against her pale fingers, they'd be even softer to squeeze. Suddenly, Mandy's cherry-scented perfume became even more intoxicating, even though she was pleasantly smelling it through their classes all day. It took everything in her to not just grab this doll's hands and take a full whiff of the cherry scent that came off of them. Instead she fought hard not to breathe, but then her heart pounded, whether because of holding her breath or the restraint to just smell the scent again. '"If I were your girlfriend it'd be so easy," Kitty thought.

"You have the same sized hands!" said Tuesday.

"Talk about a PERFECT match!" said Lydia.

"That's so cool!" Mandy observed. "It must be because we have so much in common, right Kitty?" She continued holding her hands against Kitty's as she examined how they fit together.

Lydia and Tuesday looked on excitedly. Mandy must have felt something for Kitty if she said that, right?

"I-it's because I'm 'Strategy Princess' right? I'm the middle ground for our team!" Kitty could feel herself getting dizzy, even though she'd been sitting this whole time.

"Well maybe... It's still really neat since we get along, you know?"

"Yeah it's... neat."

Mandy's smile grew with the affirmation. Then she sighed in satisfaction. "I've been in a really good mood today," she said, looking out at the sky over the far wall of the institute. "The day started like any other, but I still felt really happy... Maybe because I was going to have the pleasant surprise of hanging out with one of my friends all day. I usually only see the three of you once a day for our classes. Some days I don't see you at all. I won't count the days we spend together with Lou."

"You and Kitty are BEST friends," Tuesday said innocently. "Because you get along the best!"

"We do, don't we? That's why I've been so happy then. Because I got to hang out with YOU, Kitty!"

"It makes me glad to hear you say that," Kitty tiredly confessed before indirectly shooing her away. She took her hands back and said, "You should get going! We'll see you later."

"Oh right! It's always fun talking to you girls, I never get to do it. See you later then!"

"Byyyee," said Tuesday and Lydia as Mandy dashed off, somewhat disappointed in Kitty for ending it so abruptly.

Once she got farther from the three, Lydia and Tuesday couldn't stop squealing to each other. Then they hovered over to Kitty, shaking her and standing her up to get her as excited as them.

"Come ON, Kitty! Jump! Dance!" Lydia affectionately pinched her sister's pink cheek, which she promptly snapped away from. "Do SOMETHING! Mandy said she was happy because of YOU!"

"I have ears, Lydia," Kitty was sounding more miffed than excited.

"We make SUCH a good team!" Tuesday hopped over to Lydia, grabbing her hands in a job-well-done.

"I KNOW! That was crazy, it worked so beautifully. But with these two it handles itself."

"That's enough," Kitty said weakly. But the two were too excited to hear her.

"What should we try next?" Tuesday asked in suspense.

"Ooh! Maybe you can hack into whichever robot puts the schedules together, then they can share all their classes every day!"

"That's a pretty detailed job. I think I can handle it! What if we do another slumber party, but we don't tell anyone?"

"Like kidnapping Mandy so Lou doesn't catch on? I like the way you think!"

"You guys," Kitty tried again.

"Or we can set up a tea party for the two of them! I can get the Bakers-slash-Models to make all their favorite things! They'd do anything for me you know."

"I can arrange the music! I know so many love songs."

"Yes, YES! Those two are so good at dancing."

"Guys," Kitty said with a deeper tone, shaking.

"We come up with such good plans. Kitty, what do you wanna-"

"I want you guys to drop it, OKAY?!"

The Institute suddenly fell silent. The pathway had cleared as all the dolls already left, and any other lively thing in the vicinity no longer made a sound as Kitty's burst of anger spread over everything. Tuesday and Lydia finally quieted down. Though they weren't too sure how to respond now.

"I don't know why you BOTH are so up in arms about this," Kitty continued to exclaim. "I'm the leader, aren't I? I know what's going to work better than the two of you using all your braincells! Don't you think if I KNEW it would work I'd be all over the situation without you butting in?!"

"You know it WON'T work?" Lydia cautiously asked.

"YES! There's no doubt it won't work!" 

"But at home..." For as naïve as Tuesday could be at times, she knew Kitty's immodesty with her love behind closed doors too well. She felt deeply that the team-leader was hurting herself by being seclusive about her true love. "You write Mandy's name in cursive all the time because you said you want to see how pretty it could look. And you draw you and her together sometimes. You sing love songs thinking about her, I know you do. Don't you want Mandy to know?"

"What for? Even if she liked me back, we could only be together for as long as we're here. Once we all graduate, I'll never see her again. I don't want something temporary like you two do. And... what if she were to turn me down instead, while we're still here? I've run it through my head and I would still want her all the same... I'd look at her the same way and think of her the same way, and she'd notice it this time. How distracting it'd be with as much as she has on her plate.

"She has to be good at ALL the occupations since she's a polymath, on top of the etiquette lessons everyone has to take, and she's an elite doll so it's even more important- I, I think? I don't know why Lou yells at her all the time- we've done worse. She does everything fine, she has to because she can't see without her glasses! We ditch class all the time while Mandy has to go to every single one in case Lou turns up. He hasn't shown up today but what if he did while she was slacking with me? He'd yell at her in front of everyone and I can't be by her side or else I'd get the three of us in trouble, too! And Mandy would think it's her fault because Lou was already mad at her, a-- and---"

Lydia and Tuesday started noticing the pain expressed in her breaking voice.

"I won't add on to her problems if being her friend is enough. Either way, I'd have my heart broken, whether we split up or if she rejects me. I could break hers even more if I led her on. The three of us will leave together, and who would she have? That must already sting... None of this is right."

"You got to touch her hand," Lydia said, trying to bring Kitty back to a better mood; The way her sister beat herself up over the perfect execution, it's all she could say that seemed the least stressful to her.

"I'd rather have held it!" Kitty replied. "If it were up to me though, I wouldn't have done it at all. Now my head and my stomach hurts like crazy just remembering it."

"It'll be okay," said Tuesday. "It's a good thing we're ditching, right?"

Kitty nodded and covered her face with her hands, either from exhaustion or to keep from crying.

Lydia put her hand on her trembling sister's shoulder. "We'll drop it," she said. "You ready to head back?"

Kitty quietly nodded again. Tuesday took hold of her hand, Lydia wrapped her arm around her, all together walked off the path returning home.

[lover-of-mine]

Your last post is funny bc just TODAY I watched that season finally. I’m literally 2 episodes into season 5 right now. As someone who just watched that for the first time (and hadn’t noticed it WAS the season finally when I started watching it) I was losing my goddamn MIND watching those episodes. Just constantly 😯😯😯. I began watching 911 when I started seeing posts circulating about Buck being bi. At the time I had no idea who he was other than the occasional gif set but it made me intrigued and I have been HOOKED. Literally trying to get through as many episodes as possible so I can watch the episodes live. Questions for you (since I have no one else to talk to about the show); when did you start watching? Have you had any predictions while watching the show that didn’t/ did come true? Like for me when I watched season 1 and Abby went to the fire department for the first time I SWORE up and down that her and Bobby were meant to be endgame (was clearly wrong lol). But also after Chris got stuck in the Tsunami I called it that something would happy to Harry later on (just a feeling that no one was safe lol, not even the kids). I’m just so curious to see what the fandom theories have been over time lol since I missed out on it!

Yeah, no, watching suspicion/survivors for the first time is WILD. Like, imma be honest and bit oversharing, I watched the show for the first time in a depressive episode, so I watched everything up to 5x10 in like, 6 days according to the posts I made on Tumblr about it, so I didn't realize theorize about anything, I was just hitting next episode like my life depended on it. But I didn't know anything about the show, like, at all, I had just watched 911 lone star in a weekend because it was on the tv and there were only like, 20 episodes of it out it at the time and a network in my country was just showing all of them on a loop, and I opened the Disney app fully intending to rewatch grey's anatomy, and 911 was the first show on my recommended to you list, and I had liked lone star enough, and was like sure why not. And I legit couldn't stop watching. All of this happened the week before 5x11 aired on the us, so 5x11 was the first episode I watched like "live" (the first episode I actually watched live was 5x16) but I watched it in the same week, I think I finished on a Tuesday? And the episode aired on Monday. I can't really give you any theories I have witnessed so far because they would be spoilers tho, but if you wanna come back once you catch up we can talk about some of the madness that goes around here. But I had the same thing happen to me, I didn't realize it was the season finale, and I didn't know anything about the show, so I had no idea what was happening, and I thought I had learned my lesson with the tsunami arc, because I watched 3x01 at like 3 am fully saying this is the last episode I will watch and then I'm gonna go to bed, and then the tsunami hit, and I was like well fuck and then Chris fell in the water and next thing I know is 5 am and Eddie is making me cry at the end there. But I saw the 13 and didn't realize the season only had 14 episodes and then everything kept happening. I seriously cannot imagine what it was like to be forced to wait a week between those 2 episodes it was SO CRAZY. When Eddie got shot I legit froze. Watching that for the first time not knowing it's coming is SOMETHING. I do remember thinking that they were gonna kill Shannon but I didn't expect to be right, I also remember clocking that Jason was Doug pretty fast. Something funny tho, I remember posting that meme that's like "I've had blank for 1 day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this room and myself" with Buck and I waited until I had been watching for a day and a half, that means I posted it while watching the season 2 finale. I hit post and the truck blew up and I legit went like ????????? and that is still the most ironic thing that ever happened to me while posting about 911 kspskspkspakapkapa (here's the post, I actually came back to edit the tags because I was in shock lol) and I laugh every time I remember that lol but I'm glad you're enjoying the show, you can come back to talk to me about it any time!;

[littlespoonevan]

I've followed you for a while (for gallavich actually but your buddie fics convinced me to finally watch 911!) and we've always been of the same mind about the likelihood of buddie happening in canon. But after Buck fell asleep on Eddie's couch and now all of 6x13, I now feel like it's inevitable that the show IS actually going to make it explicitly romantic. How're you feeling about canon buddie these days?

ahh hey bud!!! i'm honoured i was able to convince you to watch the show lmao 🥰

okay i'm gonna try and organise my thoughts bc my brain has been going in a lot of different directions these past few weeks. so. i don't think i'll ever be able to confidently say buddie canon is happening until we get a very deliberate Moment with either buck or eddie where it's clear something has changed for one of them.

by that, i mean i need another 'just make sure you're following your heart, not christopher's' eddie-face-journey-esque moment where eddie looks at buck or buck looks at eddie and we know (and by we, i mean the whooooole general audience, not just the fandom) they're looking at each other differently

and it's not that i think everything that's happening right now isn't deliberate, it's more just that it's not quite confirmation in the overt sense for me???? particularly as far as them being attracted to each other etc. (i know they love each other, i know they're a family but are there feelings, y'know)

however

there has been a lot happening in the past two episodes that's been making me go 👀👀👀

firstly. the couch. that fucking couch metaphor has me by the thROAT and has done since 6x01. and genuinely i cannot explain the narrative of 6x12 as anything other than proof that eddie is the couch. like. i have an english degree. i legitimately analyse texts for a living and there is no other way to interpret this whole thing other than the idea that the couch that buck has been quietly searching for all season (which is repeatedly conflated with a romantic partner and happiness), is eddie.

buck wants to pick the right couch. margaret chooses for him but it's Not Right. buck goes to eddie's and falls asleep on his couch in seconds before opening up to him and effectively highlighting to us that his safe space is at eddie's house. it's just???????????

(also the fact that oliver said the other couch will be gone by the end of the season my mind is sPINNING)

next. the buckley-diaz family of it all in 6x13. i've said a few times this week that this ep felt like a speedrun season 3 (i'm also currently rewatching s3 which i think is why it's on my brain). as in, we have buddie and chris paired off while the other couples have their own plot. we did have that quite a bit in s4 and 5, don't get me wrong, but it was rarely something that wasn't tied to an overarching plot like the shooting and eddie's subsequent breakdown. whereas these were fun scenes just because. so we had the season 3 dynamic back but there was so much more weight to it because of all that's changed since then.

there are plenty of posts about it but their family unit was emphasised A Lot in 6x13. both in the scene with chris' homework and the baking for chris' class scene. like it's heavily established in this ep that whether it's at buck's place or eddie's, the three of them spend their days together. and not in an organised, 'let's have a movie night' kind of way. as in, they exist in the same space together the way any couple and their child would and that's so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also the baking for christopher's class scene literally dO NOT get me started i can't believe they did that askjdfhsa

on a smaller scale, buck and eddie's dynamic had a very Particular energy about it in the poker scene. i don't necessarily wanna say flirty bc i legit haven't rewatched since i first saw it tuesday morning when i was barely awake but there was a sort of tension there that i'm very interested in tbh bc i don't think we've seen that in a long time??? also i'm soooo suspicious of captain mehta's re-emergence and how arbitrary the whole poker thing was in the first place @ 911 i have questions!!!!

finally. i can't quite articulate this yet. but something about the episode titles is making me very askdhfs

mixed feelings. performance anxiety. lost and found. love is in the air. it's just. like, yes every episode title has multiple meanings but also every episode title has a level of suggestiveness that has me paying attention. lost and found bc of the tsunami connotations and chris asking buck in his dream if he can help him find his dad. and love is in the air bc it's giving me buck actually vibes and we all know i fully believe buck actually is where buck's story post-abby really begins and i will clutch at every romcom coded metaphor this show throws at me askjdh

TL;DR at this point i think we're going somewhere. like, i feel as though we're on the precipice of something and all it would take is one tiny moment to fully tip us over the edge. if and when that moment comes, i can't say for sure but gOD i'd love it if it did ✨

[sincerely-sofie]

The finishing of this fanfic has left me with some pretty mixed emotions. On the one hand, I dont want it to end. It's such an incredible piece of work and even though I finally committed to reading it a few weeks ago, it already feels like such a significant part of my life. On the other hand, I'm a little glad that it's over. FAR from the sense it was bad (I'll steal your liver if thats how you interpret it) but moreso in the sense that it was like a good crying session. It's something that a lot of us (or I assume a lot of us) typically want to avoid even though we know its good for us, and satisfying after the fact. It's like catharsis in a way. Endings aren't always a great feeling in the moment, but it's something that we can look back on with a fondness.

I'm so glad I found this work. I'm being completely serious when I say that this fanfic, and the other content you make, has changed my life for the better. Its helped me reconnect with that love I have for creativity after nearly a decade of not making anything even though I wanted to. It's helped pulled me out of a few ruts of depression. It's helped me realize that I'm not actually emotionally stunted (per my own conclusions) and be more willing to cry instead of burying those feelings. In the past I would just, kill these kinda thoughts before they got far because of how much I wanted to avoid crying. Much less actually writing them down, or express them to someone else. But now, I've been crying the whole time I write this, and for the first time in, I think ever, I'm okay with that. I know we don't actually know each other, but you've genuinely helped me become a better person with the things you make. Thank you so much for everything you've done Sofie. hey look! I got your name right!

But enough about me. I feel like it's getting indulgent at this point. (I've gotten dehydrated with how much ive cried writing this and from what I can tell, you cry a lot more than I do. So go drink some water first, and then) I wanna hear your thoughts. What are your thoughts and feelings about your work being finished? Do you have plans to take a break from creative endevors for a while, or are you gonna keep going? Are you going to be expanding more on this and other au's, different fanworks or move into something completely your own? Whatever the case may be, I'm excited to see what more you are going to come up with!

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of everyone else, Thank you for everything.

It's so surreal to have posted that final chapter. I finished the first draft almost 100 days ago exactly, and I spent a number of days after completing it kind of adrift. I'd go to my computer every morning like I had during the month prior and sit down, ready to write, only to remember that I was actually supposed to be taking a break before I made the final edits.  It didn't click in my head that I had actually done it… until a couple weeks later when it hit me like a truck that I had an entire completed manuscript sitting in my Google Docs. I think I was making myself lunch at that moment, and I had to bolt to lie down on the floor and put my legs up against the wall because I was ready to pass out at the realization. 

This feels pretty similar. For me, The Present is a Gift— the main fanfic, at least— was finished in mid-January. But the process of uploading it and agonizing over what people thought of every passing update wouldn't be formally done until about 3 months later. It still hasn't clicked in my head that I won't be posting a new update once Tuesday rolls around. 

On the subject of taking a break— I've actually been taking a break, at least partway! I've barely written anything after I finished TPiaG's first draft, and I haven't drawn much “serious” art, for lack of a better word, since I started my blog. I've still been making things, yes, but scattered oneshots and sketchy pieces without solid lineart are not my typical fare. I'm usually a lot more “exact” with what I make— words fail me here— I hope I'm not being too vague! I might take a brief break as I finish up the winter semester, but that would be less a break from creating and more of an “OH MY WORD I NEED TO FOCUS ON NOTHING BUT PASSING THESE COURSES” kinda thing. 

TPiaG (along with its derivative AUs) is still very much a living project to me— there's a lot more stories the characters have in them, even if I struggle to envision a full-on sequel. I'm absolutely going to answer the asks relating to it that I've received over the months along with any I continue to receive, and if I get any ideas for comics or oneshots here and there, I'll make them. As for what's officially next up on the Sincerely Sofie menu, I'm planning to make a visual novel that's a lot more meaty than the last one I made. I'm not sure if it will be original or based on TPiaG— but a visual novel is the medium I'm planning on! 

I'm so overwhelmed by your kindness. I truly don't have any words. This project started off as something private to help distract me from a depressive episode and to process trauma, and it's become so much more. I'm so glad it was able to help you. Catharsis was the keyword for TPiaG— I wanted it to uproot difficult emotions and help people start to heal from them, but I never dreamed it would really help anyone but myself. So to hear it was able to provide you with that is unbelievably meaningful to me. 

I gave myself the goal somewhat recently to let myself cry whenever the urge strikes me. I used to go months without crying, and whenever I did shed tears, it was alone in my room while muffling the few sounds I accidentally let slip. I'm a natural crybaby, but I had schooled myself into thinking for a number of reasons that it was bad to cry— that it was selfish, or attention-seeking, or weak— so I've been trying to reclaim my teary-eyed identity. It's been difficult, but it's so freeing to let myself feel things fully. All of this is to say: let the tears fall. I've helped more people by crying than my stoicism ever did. 

Thanks again. I can't properly word my gratitude, but know that it's overwhelming :,>

[little-mouse-gardens]

Rottmnt oc headcannons

Part three : Skye

I’m continuing on with my rottmnt oc headcannons, I have so far completed Marcy and Sunny’s headcannons.

Marcy’s —> https://www.tumblr.com/little-mouse-gardens/734298414127382528/rottmnt-oc-head-cannons-so-im-gonna-be-doing-hcs

Sunny’s —> https://www.tumblr.com/little-mouse-gardens/736082157867532288/little-mouse

And now I have completed Skye’s, which should leave me with Angie’s headcanons to finish! Then I can finally start finishing and posting oneshots >:3

- Skye was named after her aunt on her mothers side

- Skye takes incredible care of her skin, because she can be acne prone with certain products. No one will ever know the secrets to her skincare routine, all except for Leonardo who practically begged her to spill the beans.

- can’t stand the smell of nail polish remover, literally had to cover her nose while she paints and removes nail polish because the smell makes her wanna gag

- may or may not have taught leo to paint designs on his nails. Him and her Defiantly match when they can

- tries her best to help leonardo with his insomnia. Tea, music, making him laugh until he’s tried or just cuddling him (his personal favorite) until he gets tired enough to fall asleep

- didn’t even shed a tear when she got her nose and ear piercings. To a point her and her sister’s mother thought something was wrong. Turns out she was just screaming internally-

- Parkour is her specialty. Roof hopping is just an average Tuesday night for her.

- Takes great care of her hair, prefers to keep it short but she will occasionally grow it out long

- she has a few skateboards that she’s collected. Customizes all of them with different themes, paints, stickers

- the one she uses the most is a skateboard that matches in design and color to Leo’s (they have each others names painted on it-)

- frequents a lot of local cafes and pizza restaurants. She Became hueso’s favorite customer because she helped make sure leo didn’t cause too much trouble.

- likes singing, playing guitar, keyboard and drums. Has a secret notebook of songs she wrote

- when she’s older, she gets dozens of butterfly and bat themed tattoos across her back and arms

- Public displays of affection between her and leo and quite common and encouraged by each other. Either constantly holding hands, hugging, giving piggy back rides ect.

- she can speak, English, Spanish and Portuguese. She tries to teach leo Spanish and Portuguese. They also Occasionally talk to one another in Spanish.

- has a spot in her room for leo to come over and hang out, it’s a hammock area over by the window though most of the time he’s cuddling up to her while playing video games, reading comics ect. He likes to brag about it, and she just playfully rolls her eyes.

- loves insects all except for roaches. moths and butterflies are her favorite

- loves bats as well. Has a little miniature butterfly garden-like set up in her window so she could watch the bats come in

- Carries some type of water bottle on her, wether it be for herself, her sisters or the turtles. Has a bunch of stickers on said water bottle.

- banned leo from accessing the mini fridge in her room because he stole all the pizza bites out of it while she was taking a nap (he made up for it with ice cream)

- has her own space in the lair close to Leo’s whenever she comes over. She has a little tent with pillows and a mini tv she brought over to play games. Most of the time you’ll catch her just skateboarding around the lair, or sprawled out on a blanket pile with leo reading comics.

- Second place for queen of the fairy lights (she and so many in her room the electric bills are sobbing-)

- Leo definitely knows her hair routine and yes, he loves to help out. (He loves how soft her curls are) Draws little shapes with the products on her curls (she loves this goober enough not to gently thwack him with a towel for wasting her hair products)

- spraypainting is something she occasionally tries out, usually goes up to a random rooftop or vacant area where no one is gonna care before testing it out.

- leo does the face taps to her a lot. after she figured out what exactly that meant (girl was hella confused as to why he was doing that out of the blue) she started doing it to him back. And now it’s just a random thing they do when they see each other or whenever they want to (this turtle literally becomes a churring smug mess over her it’s embarrassing-)

- most of her clothes probably come from hot topic or small businesses

- always Carries her favorite snacks in her bag, gently bats Leo’s hands away when he tries to steal any of the pizza bites she bought (he tries to snatch them out of her hand when she is literally is about to eat it like boi you tryna die?-)

- Skye has a very small scar on her right eyebrow from when she fell off a horse as a kid. Claims it as her battle scar and feels it makes her look a little badass.

- Skilled in archery, volleyball and surfing. Mainly on the volleyball team and do surfing and archery as hobbies. Used to be on the archery club at her school but she didn’t like the overly competitive and overly strict rules placed on her shoulders so she quit the club

- her favorite two drinks are blueberry boba tea and mango milkshake. Got hooked on blueberry boba tea after Marcy and Angie dragged her to a boba shop to try some of the new drinks

- Has watched law and order enough to know the intro message word by word

- Competes in a local underground skateboarding competition, usually ends up in second place or first place most of the time

- Hangs out at the local roller skating rink or arcade when she’s not hanging out the turtles or her sisters

- Learned to paint her nails from her sister sunny. Mostly paints them green, blue or black in various hues and adds little designs on them to match her clothing

- Collects a lot of funky and unique jewelry (fuzzy worm earrings, cute clay rings, silver skull ear studs, a choker with a dangly atlas moth charm)

- loves to make beaded charm bracelets and rings. She has a whole collection and miniature drawer of bracelets and rings she made. Made her and leo a matching bracelet and ring set (he teases her over the rings being an early proposal before they confessed)

- Her and Angie are adopted (Skye was adopted when she was one year old around the same age as marcy, and Angie was adopted a year after she was) it doesn’t really bother her much nor does she or Angie think about it much

- Her favorite food to make is homemade pastel or homemade pizza (specifically cheese, Hawaiian or St. Louis)

- Hates the smell of broccoli when it’s cooking or steaming. Leo tried to make broccoli casserole as a prank to bring to Skye, and she stepped one foot into the lairs kitchen before immediately turning around and walking away. It physically makes her ill and the smell is one of her weaknesses

- makes the most random out of pocket comments when she’s sleepy. Like “where are penguins knees? Like are they doing squats the whole time” or “you think mothman has access to the internet?” And not forgetting “i wonder if I could ever use your shell as a boogie board leo?” Someone get this girl down for a nap-

- her and Leonardo have random movie nights or game nights either at the lair or at her and her sisters apartment both before they started dating and after they started dating/he confessed

- Her and Leo’s first date was at senor heuso’s pizza restaurant and afterwards they just sat on a rooftop to stargaze and watch some old lou jitsu movies

- Loves stargazing. Sitting on the roof or the fire escape with some blankets and her switch/ds. She’ll curl up in a makeshift hammock and just observe the stars she can see through the city lights. Her favorite place to stargaze is her grandparents farm, since there is little light pollution.

- Fav spot on her grandparents farm is this old house that was built in the 1600s, she made it into a makeshift clubhouse when she was little so it holds a lot of memories for her.

- She’s trying to learn how to cook better and in turn teaching leo how to cook (because this boi needs some guidance because the kitchen equipment cannot be replaced again)

- Trying to control her yokai abilities by training with the turtles. It’s kind of confusing for her since human form but having in human abilities kind of throws the brain for a loop, but she’s slowly getting there.

- After the kraang incident, Skye will just randomly come over to the lair or leo will come over to her and her sister’s apartment so she and him can just be in each others presence. Cuddles, video games, random talks or going on walks around the city. Just to know the other one is there and that they’re okay.

- always has an extra pair of headphones on her. Made different playlists for herself, family and friends

- she also has a whole collection of video games, from her favorites to vintage games she just wanted to collect, on another shelf in her room.

- has played in a few video game competitions here and there, though she’s just tries them out for fun.

- has a whole shelf of books she genuinely likes to read and re-read. Frequents the library more often than most people think

- Her and leo like to practice a lot of skating tricks together. It has become a competition at this point, and yes they both have folders on their phones labeled “top ten leo fails” or “top ten Skye fails” just for giggles

- got a lifetime pass to a spa in the hidden city from her mother (shhhh-don’t question how she got it, it’s a secret)

- Uses humor as a coping mechanism sometimes

- A lot of her and Leo’s dates are mostly just random places they feel like going to that night if they don’t want to have a home date. However they’re still meaningful to them. Just spending time together having fun and being happy matters enough to them

- Fav scent is coconut creamcicle or vanilla sea salt

- the one place she wants to visit is her grandmothers old home in Costa Rica

[pikespendragon67]

Pikes Summer Check-Up 2024 Edition

Started to go “hm I still have to unlearn the don’t speak unless spoken to mindset that I have” but remembered I could do a checkup post instead!

Current life updates:

Right now I’m saving up for conventions happening this August, though plushie collecting & Steam summer sales miiiight have interfered. Whoops. (…and I wonder if I should get back to my FE Cipher card collection). My next big-ish trip is visiting my middle school best friend with another high school friend. I’m also hoping for my next big trip this year to be Boston in late September to meet with a friend. After that, it should be a trip with my middle school best friend to a farm, something Halloween related with IRL friends depending on what they want to do, no clue for November, and seeing relatives for New Year’s.

Gonna see if I can reorganize my closet since everything in my room got reassembled when we got new flooring. Feels cluttered as a result. Hopefully my back won’t kill me.

Might have jury duty next week too OTL

What I’m watching:

Current schedule for watching anime is as follows:

Mondays - Digimon rewatch along with Spice & Wolf 2024. I really like Lawrence and Holo’s banter. For Digimon I just got to where Mimi obtains her Crest. Man adult me really just became Joe, huh.

Tuesdays are filler at the moment since I need to wait for Pokemon Horizons to update on Nettingtonflix (I watch the dub) and I finished Kakuriyo. Part 2 of Kakuriyo was…eh, I guess? I noticed stiff animation a lot and I didn’t really get the sense of drama/urgency that I was expecting. Might throw in some more Digimon episodes until Horizons updates. (I’m liking it so far, though it’s not something I’d shout to the heavens about)

Wednesdays - Baccano finally. I might need to rewatch some parts because they retell events from different perspectives, but I see repeats and get confused if I already watched the episode or not because of that.

Thursdays - Moribito. I’ve heard this show was good, though I think I need to rewatch this one as well since I miss important info when something dramatic’s not happening. The curse of having a show as background noise during your lunch break at work.

Fridays - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure rewatch. Friends were talking about watching it so it got me interested in rewatching once more. I’m still on Phantom Blood but I’m excited for the rewatch until I hit Stardust Crusaders. Unfortunately it’s not my favorite part and it’s the longest.

Saturdays - My Hero Academia and Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin. I’m gonna see if I end up liking Sakuna more as an anime or as a game. As for Hero Academia, I’m really liking how this current season’s hyping up the finale. And with the manga ending next month, I kind of hope Vigilantes can be animated

Sundays - Tower of God season 2 and My Deer Friend Nokotan. Nokotan kind of reminds me of Lucky Star, but I’m hoping the shitposts aren’t just making fun Koshitan. Tower of God season 2 looks pretty promising. Though I lament that God of High School had to rush everything into 1 season.

I’m getting hyped for TYBW part 3 subconsciously and also hope the light novels get covered.

In terms of stuff on Youtube, it’s mostly let’s plays for games that I want to see if I want to play them myself. I appreciate that SMT 5 Vengeance fleshed out certain characters more, but damn. I also finished watching the ProZD Plays Ace Attorney 2. Franziska is wonderful, I wish she was in a different game. I liked case 2 the most in spite of Hotti’s mere existence.

What I’m Playing:

Stopped TTYD in the middle of chapter 6 since I didn’t want to deal with the turning platform section. So now it’s back to 428 Shibuya Scramble. I’m in the 3 PM section of the game now and things are getting spicy. So far my rankings of the routes are Tama > Minorikawa > Osawa/Achi > Kano.

I also have quite a few fighting games in my Steam library now! I still only button mash, but I’ve been playing with some folks in the Granblue community and my friend Merlin. My “don’t speak unless spoken to” mindset unfortunately kicks in when it comes to inviting people to play games, though. Like granted people are busy and I don’t want to bother them but aaaaaaa (so if you wanna play with me on Steam I’m free most weekends. Though my wrist may fatigue itself too. F)

I’m also contemplating if I want to have various small fics in a collection or add alternate endings in my main Bleach fic

AND NOW, I end asking how ny’all are you doing. Any cool things on your end?

[basket-of-cats-and-witches]

Tidbit Tuesdays: Cut for Time and WIPs, WIPs, WIPs.

Not gonna lie, my ADHD's been out of control all week, meaning there's a lot of ficlets that have been put off because I literally forget they exist and start a new one.

*sighs*

But! With new chapters on the horizon, and this new card set (🕯️Sylus COME HOME🕯️), my burst of inspiration is back. Let's hope I can actually finish more pieces.

Anyway, if you don't know what Tidbit Tuesdays are, this is basically where I post abandoned pieces and WIPs that I'm super proud of! It's a way of encouraging myself to continue growing. This particular week's set is quite suggestive, so just be aware!

Today's interesting tip: If you're writing fic and you also happen to be into the Sims, building the room/house layout you're working in is an excellent way to visualize things and set them correctly in your head. Sometimes having a visual makes it easier to set the scene for the reader.

Anyway, on to the tidbits! If you enjoyed this, please give it a like or reblog! It lets me know people like what I'm doing, and encourages me to continue writing!

First up: This insanely long fic that was meant to be a one-off and is developing plot. This is a constant WIP, I'll release it to the wolves someday. And by the wolves, I mean my friend who is super enthusiastic about my writing. I love you and adore you, Sunflower.

This was meant to be a one-off "oh no we're stranded and there's only one bed left in the motel" tropey thing, and then suddenly Sylus and Kit, my OC, decided to talk about their feelings.

🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

“Look.” Her gaze follows his to a full-length mirror across from them, mounted on the wall.

She gasps at what she sees, horrified.

Her skin is lobster red, an angry color wherever it was exposed to the sun. There's a large swath across her cheeks, ears, and nose, along with her arms and shoulders.

No wonder her shirt hurt to take off.

Sylus holds the bottle in front of her, full of light green gel.

A picture of an aloe vera plant takes up the whole label.

Kit looks down, shame curling in her gut. “I'm a fucking idiot,” she whispers. “I swear I put sunscreen on, it just doesn't seem to have worked. No wonder you were teasing me about the bottle.”

A pair of nice socks step in front of her, until Sylus crouches down, clad in only that and a pair of briefs.

If she wasn't already riding the shame train, she would have been flustered out of her mind.

As it stands, her nose stings and she feels horrifyingly close to crying.

“That's why I wanted you to finish taking your shirt and pants off,” Sylus says softly, his gentle tone somehow making her feel worse. “You can't reach everything on your own, kitten.” He taps her nose playfully, trying to brighten her mood. “I wouldn't ask something like that without good reason. You know I wouldn't hurt you.”

“That's not why,” she mumbles, too miserable to snap back at his hand.

Sylus undoes his hidden holster, setting his backup gun aside. “Speak up. I want to hear you.” His hand reaches for the strap of hers.

Kit sniffles, holding out her ankle obediently. “I know I'm just your lackey, but I'm a warm-blooded woman, too. I know you don't feel that way, so don't bother putting me in my place. I know it's inappropriate. I just…” a tear drops onto her skin. “I know I'm not pretty,” she says miserably. “So I don't particularly want you to see me with my clothes off, whether it's for practical reasons or not. I also hate disappointing you, I want you to want me around, even if it's just because you hired me.”

Red eyes, dark as rubies, meet hers. Sylus raises his brows. “You don't think you're pretty?”

She laughs wetly. “Of course that's what you focus on. We're out in the desert, stuck in a shit hotel in a one-bedroom and covered in sand and dust and who knows what else, and that's what you're stuck on.”

“You're deflecting,” he says, taking her hands in his. Sylus's touch is light as a feather, but her sunburn makes it feel like he's trailing fire across her skin.

Kit tries not to flinch, but he notices anyway, changing it so the pads of her fingers rest on his palms. His hands are massive compared to hers, calloused but unblemished against her scarred skin.

“Tell me what you don't like.” He phrases it as a request, but she knows it's not. Sylus seems to like to crack open her mind and dig out the most vulnerable parts of her.

Sometimes she wishes he wouldn't.

The undeniable truth, however, is that she always feels better after.

“I'm…too tall,” she grits out.

He snorts. “You still fit under my chin, unless you're in heels.”

Instantly, she knows how this is going to play, but she can't help but be stubborn about it.

“I'm built like a rail,” Kit counters. “Men like curves and I'm all angles.”

“You're lithe and well-muscled. You're made for agility and grace, and I've never seen anyone move across a battlefield or dance floor like you do.” He uncaps the aloe vera, gently smearing it across her skin.

Kit sighs at how heavenly it feels, her eyes fluttering shut.

His warm chuckle snaps her back, and she glares at him.

“I'm scarred to hell,” she says flatly. “Who wants someone covered in bullet and blade scars?”

His hands trail up her arms, sliding over a gnarled cluster where she'd sliced her shoulder open once jumping through a pane of window glass. “It means you survived, sweetie. Better scarred than dead. Anyone practical will appreciate that more than anything.”

Kit’s heart rate picks up as he continues his path along her reddened skin. “I don't wear pretty clothes,” she mumbles, watching the way his face remains open, more relaxed than it has been all night. “I don't own pretty things. I'm not- I've never been…cutesy.”

Sylus meets her eyes, smiling when her gaze skitters away shyly. He smooths the gel over her chest and throat, and she's sure he can feel how fast her heart is pounding.

“You don't have to, kitten. You're beautiful in the dresses I buy you, and…” he leans in, eyes glinting mischievously. “You're very cute right now,” Sylus purrs.

Kit shivers as his fingers draw upwards, the gel making them cling to her skin. He traces across her cheekbones and over her nose, tapping gently on the tip before pulling away.

Before she realizes it, she's grabbed his wrist, fingers encircling and thumb skimming across his pulse.

His heartbeat is terrifyingly fast.

Sylus tilts his head curiously, smirking. “What is it, sweetie? Did I miss a spot?”

The barrier between them is quickly crumbling, or maybe it's been long gone and she never noticed.

It occurs to Kit that Sylus has never treated her like he does the twins or any of his subordinates. Even when he's pissed or terse, he still watches out for her.

Takes care of her.

“Why do you care whether I think I'm pretty or not?” She whispers hoarsely. “I'm just your lackey. I don't know why you're so kind to me.”

He chuckles fondly, a strangely hollow sound. “For someone so incredibly good at their job, you don't pay attention when it matters.”

Kit furrows her brow. “What-”

Her question never finishes. Sylus rises up from his kneeling position between her legs.

Like a wave crashing against the rocks, he surges against her, dropping the bottle to slide his clean hand into her hair.

Sylus kisses her, and Kit feels her whole world tilt on its axis.

🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

-

Notes: This next one is something I intended on releasing, but it needs a bit of rewriting before I feel comfortable enough with it. Perfectionism strikes again. It was actually mentioned in my last Tidbit Tuesdays, and I finished it, but I'm not quite satisfied.

I wanted to explore the complexities of "soulmates vs falling in love", which is more to say Sylus loves Kit, but what misunderstandings would she have when MC (or Kiri, in my specific case) shows up in line with the events of the game? Which is all to say that Kiri, my Zaynemancer, is more interested in protecting Kit than pursuing Sylus. See "Sylus Deserves to Get Punched" for Kiri's context.

-

🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

He nods slowly. “So earlier.”

“Earlier,” Kit repeats. She frowns and looks down at her feet. “I…if…if she's what you want…”

Tilting his head, Sylus looks at her. His eye glows even brighter, until she can feel the uncomfortable sensation like many fingers pressing inside her brain.

Kit can't bear to look at him. Her thoughts are all jumbled up, so complicated and upset that even she can't make heads or tails of it.

One thing is clear, however.

He deserves the best.

Kiri comes to mind, of course. She's dazzling, charismatic, calm, and even-tempered. Sylus deserves someone so beautiful, so diplomatic, so warm-

His strangled laugh breaks her spiral. Kit glares at him.

“If you're just here to watch me cry,” she says, furiously scrubbing at her face, “then you can leave the way you came! I don't even know how you found my apartment in the first place!”

Sylus shakes his head. “Move over.”

“No.” She crosses her arms. Her chin juts out stubbornly.

“No?” He repeats. “Do you want to hear my explanation, or do you just want to be upset?”

Kit sniffles. Sylus waits patiently for her answer, his tall form severely dipping the mattress. It was barely holding on to begin with.

Reluctantly, she scoots closer to the wall. He takes his shoes off and moves into her space, the tiny bed straining to accommodate two tall people. “Can I touch you?”

For a moment, Kit fights against it. She's upset, she's sensitive, and the one who made her this way is who she usually seeks comfort from.

With a sigh, she deflates, nodding.

Without hesitation he draws her into his arms, pulling them both down so she's cuddled against his chest. Their legs tangle naturally, months of sleeping together making it instinctual.

“It seems like you know the girl,” he starts off with. “Do you know about her evol?”

Kit wraps her arms around him, squeezing slightly. “We're childhood friends,” she mumbles. “My foster father used to work with Zayne’s - a mutual friend of ours - parents before he retired. I met Kiri through Zayne, and eventually Caleb, my ex. He lived with Kiri.”

At the mention of Cay, Sylus's body tenses. Kit instantly feels embarrassed at being slightly petty. Caleb is ancient history, especially now that he's passed. Still, Sylus's possessiveness is relieving.

She continues. “I know enough about it to answer your question. Her evol amplifies others. It also seems to have some influence on Metaflux, to the point of attracting Wanderers.” She peers up at him, that glowing red eye still brilliant in the dark. He's still reading her, then. “So it's her evol that makes her attractive to you? You're already powerful as it is.”

Sylus gently flicks her forehead, and she makes a soft sound of protest. “Stop it,” he reprimands. “You're trying to come up with reasons, now.” As soon as he finishes speaking, he presses a kiss to the spot he hit.

“I'm not attracted to her,” he says. “The person you emulate does not exist for me. I don't know how to explain to you how much she doesn't like me, to the point where she tried to fight me on your behalf.”

A startled laugh escapes her. “Did she?”

“Mmhm. My shins suffered.” He squeezes her in a hug as she snickers, relaxing just a little more.

Sylus smiles. “She and I have mutual feelings, which is to say, none at all. Your Kiri detests me, and I'm indifferent. Holding her hands is just the easiest way to resonate. It's not working, however.”

Kit makes a confused noise. “How so? She resonates with me and our friend Andromeda just fine.”

There's an oddly childish rude sound, and it takes Kit a second to realize it's coming from Sylus. “It seems,” he grumbles, “that she's disgusted by me. As our doctor friend says.”

Kit just bursts out laughing at that.

The sound makes him curl closer around her, as if he can fold her into his body until they're melded together, never to separate. “You're the one I want, Kit,” he says, the sound muffled by his chest. “Never doubt that. And if you do, I'll remind you again and again.”

She angles her face up towards his, watching as the glow finally fades. “Will you remind me now?” Kit whispers.

“Yes,” he replies, as the final bit of glow is snuffed out, and he claims her in the dark.

🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

Notes: Next up is a change of pace! I'm slowly working through my hangups on Rafayel's personality. By which I mean he's too similar to how I act normally (nobody read into that), so it's hard to write him.

This piece centers around him meeting Nimea, my she/they OC, who's not the MC but is a librarian who handles the childrens' programs in a tiny library on the coastline. It also features my favorite OC, Oliver, a young boy who eventually gets adopted by Nim.

🐟🐟🐟

It's been some time since Mr. Rafayel came by.

Not that Nimea expects him to return, or anything. One of his paintings now hangs high in the children's section, the beautiful abstract colors drawing the eye, each elegant sweep of the brush creating beautiful lines.

She likes to look at it, when she has time.

“Thinking about that artist again, Nim?” He coworker teases, nudging her as she passes.

Nimea blushes instantly. She adjusts her glasses. “Don't you still have some books to shelve, Diana?” She whispers back fiercely.

Diana giggles and pushes a cart along, heading off to the nonfiction section.

Huffing, Nim looks around for something to do.

There, in a beanbag chair, is one of her favorite regulars.

Oliver, a young boy, sits curled up with a thick book. It's far too advanced for most visitors of the children's section, but he's no ordinary boy.

Drifting closer, Nim smiles at the title.

Encyclopedia of Sea Life. She's unsurprised.

“Hi Ollie,” she says, making the boy peek up from his book. His brow is furrowed, until he realizes who it is. Instantly, he relaxes.

“Hi Miss Schulz,” he replies simply. A page is turned, and she crouches beside him.

“What section are we on today?” She asks, peeking over his shoulder.

Ollie points at a picture of an octopus. “They're sep- sef…”

“Cephalopods?” Nim supplies. He nods, mumbling the word to himself until he has it fixed in his mind.

“Yeah. Mom says they're creepy. She calls them ocean spiders and says they're slimy.”

Nim sighs. She tries hard not to show Oliver how much she dislikes his mother. “Well, she's not entirely wrong. They've got eight arms like spiders, and I guess living underwater would make them feel a little slippery. But I wouldn't call them creepy. You know they’re just about as smart as people?”

His eyes go wide, and he turns in his beanbag excitedly. “Really?”

“Mmhm. They can open jars with their arms and solve some puzzles. They even remember people even if it's been a long time since they've seen them.” Nimea smiles as she watches him light up, his closed off demeanor completely vanishing with his excitement.

“What else?” He asks. Oliver looks at her like she hung the moon.

“Um,” she says, searching her brain. Most of her knowledge comes from things she's learned in aquariums, or whatever her dad’s crew told her while they were at sea together. “Well-”

“They dream,” a voice cuts in. “Their bodies turn different colors when it happens, in cool patterns and shapes.”

Nimea startles when a long pair of legs appears in her line of sight, Rafayel sitting down with them. He winks at her. The thick cardigan he wears looks almost as cozy as her sweater.

Oliver turns his rapt attention to Rafayel. “They do?”

The artist nods. “I've seen it. They go from brown to green to blue to orange in the blink of an eye.”

🐟🐟🐟

Notes: This last one really was just me playing around with an earlier version of Nim (as River) and Rafayel in a group chat with Kit. I love playing around with personalities and seeing how different combinations mesh.

I mostly cut it because it took up a lot of space and while it was enjoyable, didn't add a lot to the story. It also might be a bit hard to follow. Text conversations are always weird to write.

🐟🐱🐟🐱🐟

Kit Renamed the Group Fish Are Friends Not Food

Kit: Crisis time, fishies assemble

Raf: Ya present 🐟

River: Also here wassup, y r u asking us 🦈

Raf: Cause we're reliable and cool

River: Press X to doubt

Kit: Hush, Fishies. I need advice from the two hottest people I know

Raf: Wow

Raf: Didnt kno u felt that way

Raf: Compliments get u everywhere what do u want

Kit: On mission, am required to have “sex appeal”

Kit: [Photo Sent]

River: OOOUGH

River: BARK BARK BARK

Raf: 😒 thought u only had eyes for me

River: yea but I have eyes ur always telling me 2 appreciate art

Raf: tru

Raf: Dont c the problem

Raf: sex appeal u got it

Kit: I'm supposed to be the hot plus onw

Kit: one*

Kit: I look nice but I'm used 2 taking people out not seducing

River: OH

River: I gotchu

River: pre Raf hoe levels hm

Kit: yeah

Kit: teach me your ways master

River: ATTENTION!!! CLASS HAS BEGUN

River: every1 take ur seats

Raf: do i have 2 be here

Raf: there was a snail

Raf: effervescent

Raf: inspiration struck

River: ok bby u can go paint

River: lov u 🐟❤️

Raf: lov u 2 🦈💙

Raf: gl Kit

Raf: glub glub

Kit: glub glub 😭

River: Kit we call rq

Kit: Sy will see

River: tell him u need to use the restroom or smth idk

River: ur menstrual cycle came early. Men hate periods LMAO

Kit: actually he saw me look at him and told me to go take my phone call

Kit: how does he know…

River: [started a call]

🐟🐱🐟🐱🐟

-

If you got to this point, thank you so much for reading! That's it for this Tuesday! 💖💖💖

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

I had a rough week last week. Tuesday my dog gets sick, so I look up her symptoms. And bc I'm a crazy person, my mind automatically latched onto the worst possibility. So I spent three hours crying hysterically and having panic attacks bc I was so scared she would die. Then Wednesday I had to take my dog to vet and was still super stressed out. Thursday and Friday I have to deal with medicaid and disability paperwork. Saturday I had a panic attack so bad that I couldn't stop it and had to text my brother to come help me (he lives with me. we're too poor to live without a roommate, and we've basically lived together our whole lives, so it was whatever). Sunday morning I have a panic attack and can't leave my house to play my weekly dnd game bc the thought of spending hours with other people away from home was...bad. Sunday night, I got completely (and irrationally) terrified of being alone. I was so afraid that I called my mom, and of course she offers to come over. And I'm freaking out so bad I let her, even though it was late and I know she has to get up early for work. (She only stayed until my brother got back around 10:30)

BUT, today is a new day. I managed to get my blood work done today, and talk on the phone to my case worker, and pick up a pair of contacts from my eye doctor to wear until my order comes in. And I didn't have a panic attack. I mean, I still had to have my dad take me, bc leaving home alone isn't something I can do right now. (Mentally or physically. My brother's car broke down, and since he's the one who has a job, he's been using mine. i stg it's like a fucking family curse; every time someone is already in a financial bind, their car will break down.)

So I have decided to take the next few days to just relax. My two besties that I've been friends with since middle school both have kids with autism and they said I'm probably going through autistic burn-out. I'm pretty sure I'm autistic and my doctor thinks I'm somewhere on the spectrum, though on the lower support side. I'm gonna play bg3, and unwind. And try to work on some fic. (bc I have the next chapter of 16 Days damn near finished, and it's the last chapter that ties up the current plot, then there's an epilogue that takes place later that played out like a movie in my head, so writing it will be a breeze.)

Side note, did y'all know that some school systems still use 'high/low functioning'. I've had to say to my coworkers that autistic people would prefer not to use those terms. But it isn't surprising; one of my cousin's kids was literally diagnosed with Asperger's. Which has fallen under the autism spectrum disorder since like, forever ago. And also there was a TA in the autism classroom I worked in once who literally told me that autism was caused by demonic possession. I'm so glad I left the school system. Bc I eventually was going to fucking explode with rage after the way my kids were treated. (My students, not my actual kids. I don't have or want any)

Working in EC has really shown me how little the school system actually cares about helping the disabled; they will cut corners and do shit that 'technically' meets a kid's IEP, but doesn't do a damn thing to help them. And if you say something like, 'i don't think that counts' your coworkers will not be happy. But to a certain degree you can't be too mad, bc there is literally not enough time or resources to meet every child's needs, bc they cram as many kids in one EC classroom as possible, hire the minimum amount of TAs required by law and expect one teacher to be able to magically meet all their needs. My last job had 3 kids in wheelchairs in those tiny ass mobile units schools started using, that literally did not have room to move around, unless the other students stood up to let them get by, and sometimes even move their desk. We had multiple kids with autism. One of them stimmed by screaming, another was triggered by loud noises.

This post kinda went off on a tangent. Anyway, heads up to any parents who have kids starting school, make sure you get a copy of your child's IEP. If you think they aren't being serviced, contact your local Board of Education, and tell them that you have a child with an IEP who isn't receiving adequate services. Then threaten to sue them if they don't start providing your kid their services. It does not matter if you can actually afford to sue them or not, an IEP is a legally binding document. You have the right to sue, and most of the time the threat alone is enough to kick their ass into gear.

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: A tale of Horny Furries

So I played The Crown Of Leaves past midnight, checked socials to find... Silksong confirmed to NOT appear in tuesdays games onl.

So Geoff Keighley cleared the air on twitter, letting hollow knight fans know not to hold thier breath for silksong this tuesday.

I havent played hollow knight myself but im aware that a lot of people enjoyed it and were waiting for the dlc-that-got-changed-to-a-sequel game. Send a prayer and hug to any hollow knight fans you see, y'aint all back quite yet.

So heres a lil story, I started following an artist few years back when I first saw their artwork and it enchanted me. Thier artwork contained characters in scenes just looking fantastic, different little details that were enjoyable to search, you know the term a picture is worth a thousand words? Theirs were worth a whole novel each. All of it wrapped in a world that you only get a glimpse of with each picture, accompanied with a description that tells a very short story. You know how dark souls had a lot of its lore within item and weapon descriptions? Same vibe and I loved them. It was the kind of world I wished there was some media, like a book, an animation, a game perhaps, where I could explore that world more.

So I followed this artist for a while, got excited for every new bit of art they posted, and over time they changed some things. About their characters, about the world. It was gradual so I paid no mind at first but eventually it got to the point where I realised I enjoyed their art less than I did before. The art was still good, the quality was still fantastic, I just dont feel as interested in them as I did before. They changed their characters and world so much, it just didn't do it for me. I could show you two images of what looked like two characters and hear me explain to you that they're infact the same character, ones just a more recent characterisation.

Now let me make this clear here, this is purely my personal opinion here. If the artist is happy with thier changes, then thats fine, more power to them. Its their world and characters to do with, my thoughts do not override that. I am not demanding they revert those changes just to suit my taste, i'd rather they didnt do that and just do what appeals to them. To make art for themselves. And if you happen to figure out who I'm talking about, please keep it to yourself. I do not want this artist harrassed on my behalf so please dont, this is a me problem.

Now as I said, I loved the look of their world that I wanted something like a game to explore it. So one day as I browsed the steam store, I managed to stumble across this game that had me shook. The screenshots, the characters, the enviroments. It looked a tad similar to the artist I followed but it was an entirely different world, tho it carried the spirit of what drew me in with that previous artists work in the first place and I checked to be sure, that artist's name was nowhere in the credits so they werent involved at all in this. Needless to say I picked it up just on that principle alone and... didnt play it until last night. Funny how that works.

So The Crown Of Leaves is a visual novel/point and click hybrid with following different routes and talking to folks like a visual novel and collecting items, solving puzzles like a point and click. Your just following a simple day as roui, trying to get by until some weird shit happens. And thats all im gonna say on the story without spoiling it. Listen, when I started playing, it had me hooked. The art just gut punched me right in the very place I felt was missing. It drew me in like the art I used to study with that old artist. Clicking on various objects just to hear little snippets, grabbing lil pieces of lore about the world I was in, seeing the characters and hearing them talk, their personalities just fleshed out and fascinating. Man, I was practically in love all over again.

In fact, im just gonna fill the rest of this post with some of this games art just so you can see what I mean.

Now, I do recommend this game but there is one thing you should know. The game isnt done, so far theres only two chapters with chapter three in progress but bare in mind it is a small indie team so take my recommendation with a grain of salt. Regardless you should definatly pick it up.

Maybe 18th century furries that live in a fantasy world that have a sort of gothic/mystical vibe do be one of my favourite genders.

See you all tomorrow. Feel free to leave game suggestions and feedback. Anons are currently on.

[josouhenshin]

Day 4

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Welcome back, aspiring nee-sans and baa-sans. Last time, Shina went out in girl mode for the first time, and she and Mizuho got a lead on a part time job that was only kind of sketchy. This time, they head off to the local tennis courts to investigate whether it’s possible for the girlies to be tomboys too.

By the way, did you know that the japanese word for ‘tuesday,’ kayoubi, is spelled with the character for fire? This is of course representative of the burning passion of tomboys across the globe. 

This time we’re starting off with good ol BGM 02

“I’ve never come here, even as a boy,” Shina thinks to herself. She’s been dragged here by Mizuho, the perpetual sporty one.

It’s not just about the tennis itself, of course. Mizuho brought along some tenniswear to play with. Shina says she would have thought it impossible, but Mizuho assures her:

“What’s impossible? You’re a girl right now!” She continues, “you gotta wear a skort!”

They get changed. 

“This is really short... is it okay to move?” Shina wonders.

“It’s cute, Shinobu, I might end up seeing your panties,” Mizuho remarks. 

Shina tells her to cut it out, and Mizuho assures her it’ll be fine since she’s wearing a skort and not a regular skirt. If you think about it, the skort is the substrate modern tomboyism is built upon. Well, that and bike shorts. Shina complains that it’s embarrassing. But Mizuho is a girl of action and wants to get started doing tennis already.

They do so. Mizuho asks how Shina is doing, since she’s barely moving her legs. Shina reiterates that it’s embarrassing to wear a super short skirt. “And anyway,” she thinks, “what am I supposed to do against a well rounded athlete like Mizuki??”

“Come on Shinobu!” Mizuho shouts, “if you’re gonna squirm around that much, the spectators are gonna leer at you~! If you act too embarrassed it’ll end up being a turn-on!”

Shina protests, but Mizuho just reiterates that she’s a girl right?

Mizuho: “If you’re too focused on onlookers and something gets going down there or whatever... we can’t have that, right?”

Shina: “But you’re the one making me think about them!”

Mizuho: heheh, I ended up teasing you.”

Mizuho continues, “you’re just too cute not to. Okay! Here comes the next ball!”

Shina groans.

Those two. The scene fades out and they’re on to the next day. 

There’s quite a few options we have open from here- the amusement park and the french restaurant are still open, and we opened up the cafe subplot, another town event, and the at home marker too... the world is so much busier when you’re a girl huh? I’m not sure where we’re going next, but idk if I want to leave it up to a poll this time... I’ll probably mess around with some different combinations of things and see what looks like good routing. 

Until next time, star athletes <3

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