#not gonna dm for a bit either im just done.

[a-romanic]

Its kinda sad quickly how i went from “ah man im so sad im quitting dming and cancelling my campaign coz my heart isnt in it anymore )):’ to “GOOD RIDDANCE IM SO EXCITED TO HAVE MORE FREE TIME”

[hella1975]

Oh Hella your DM sounds like a good one! Hope you have fun and that coin is amazing should we add practice the coin trick to your schedule? /gen

ACTUALLY YEAH PLEASE

[i-like-forcefem]

I feel like I’m making a mistake by transitioning. I’m scared I don’t know if this is right

It’s okay to be scared! Believe me I am too x3

And sadly you never really know anything for sure… but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t act! Believe me with how hard they make it to get hrt you’ll have plenty of time and conversations to turn back!

And I keep doing it just because since I don’t remember ever feeling like if I imagined myself having done a finished transition that I’d regret it (including if it turned out *bad*, physically or socially), and just acting and being precieved as a girl online here has been so so so fun!!!

And even in the incredibly unlikely scenario where I’m in that >1% that made a mistake or underestimated the social consequences, well it’s not the end of the world! It’ll be a bit akward sure, but binders and top surgery exist, and hell intersex people are also cool as hell! So who cares if you had a phase where you had a bit more E then is the norm (assuming you’re a girl of course :3)

As you live you’ll change, your body will show the phases you’ve been through! From a chipped tooth you got when you were playing soccer as a kid, to a dumb tattoo you definitely won’t regret, to a chest filled with scars cuz teen you couldn’t stop scratching the acne, to a slightly bigger chest since you took girl pills for a bit, to stretch marks, to a surgical scar left behind from a life saving procedure!

All just signs you’ve lived! All of it is beautiful!

And idk im someone who second guesses themselves a lot, so assuming “okay I was wrong the whole time” and analyzing that scenario to see that, yk what it’s not the end of the world at all if I would be wrong! helps me gain confidence in taking the next step

But the thing is: statistically, I’m not gonna be wrong, and you aren’t either!

Come by my DMs okay? I’d love to hear more of your thoughts and give more specific help

Oh and PS, never hurts to try being a girl and seeing how that feels first! If you like it, keep being a girl, if you don’t, well maybe try something else! :3

[oh-cosmia]

12, 17, 19 <3

hiiiii alex <333

12. a trope you’re really into right now

haha well im gonna interpret "right now" as something i got into recently... dragon romance (YOU KNOW). also doomed friendship/friends-to-enemies arcs. does "the banality of evil" count as a trope?

17. talk about your writing and editing process

**OUGH**

okay so uhhhh for fic specifically its like. if its a new fic or a oneshot i write down a really rough summary like, i just ramble in my word doc as if i was telling someone this outline. sometimes if i already rambled about fic ideas in someone's dm's ill just copy paste it and use that as an outline. this was basically how me and mal wrote the outline for wedding fic, and also i did this with me and liz's dms when i first drafted solo au. and then i just start writing and keep fleshing out the outline till its done.

if its a chapter in a longer or ongoing work, like db:

prewriting; i need to know what main events happen in this chapter and also what key information is dropped. in chapter 11, something big happens, the steward shows up! thats something thats gonna build up to something in future chapters, so it was necessary to introduce it now. another big thing happens, when min encounters a denizen whose suffering he was complicit in. those are the big things that Have to happen, but then also in between that i want to drop some pieces of information that will become relevant in later chapters. when i get an idea for something gay i will find a way to work it in-- like, i didn't Need to make min kabedon ryan in ch11, but i had a vision. i had a dream. i did that for ME

writing; okay so first i lay down . then at 9-11pm i write in stimuwrite and then copy it into a word document later. then i lay down some more. if im REALLY feelin wild and i get into a groove i just keep writing till i pass out at 2 or 3 am. sometimes i go to my favorite cafe if i need to Lock In. writing is just mostly cleaning up and expanding on my outline. when i know generally what the trajectory of the chapter is and what stuff i need to make happen, everything else i kind of make up on the spot, like, the car settings and denizens are based off of whatever ideas or images were interesting to me recently. if i see an opportunity for fun banter or interactions i'll just throw it in. if i think of something funny or gay i'll put it in too. idgaf

editing; most fun part. so first i lay down. then i get up and look at a random scene of the wip. i edit it a bit. then i lay down. then i review the whole thing and fix any obvious #cringe moments or typos or fucked up syntax. then i lay down. then i edit some more until i can bear to show someone else

peer review. i show my trusted friends the fruits of my labors. they tell me if the vibes are off. they leave comments on my docs and reactions that help me gauge if my intentions/tone came through the writing. also frankly showing my friends a wip is nice bc the writing process can be very lonely and its a good motivator to show people and get amped up to finish

illustration; i've probably been sketching ideas up till this point, but i usually pick scenes if they're either important enough to the plot that i want to give an extra "oomph" to the moment, or if i just really have a strong image in my brain during a scene.

publish it. lay down again. sleep for a week. start thinking abt the next chapters

[hornsketch]

hey there! ive finally made an art blog! im going to try post more just… stuff, as usually i reserve my art posts for either special occaisions or specifically public-oriented works, and it kinda bums me out to not just have a place to dump my art anymore, so here you go!

(more details and helpful info below!)

who are you?

in hopes of providing some relevant lenses to view my work through, ill give some personal details here. if these lenses dont suit your interpretation of the work, thats alright! view as you please, though i do still think these will always be important context in said viewings.

my name is zelda (she/her) and im a queer jewish 20something who struggles quite a bit with illness both physical and mental.

ive always been kind of enthralled by impressionism and what it really means to use suggestion and spirit as a stronger tool than portrayal and form.

i have a particular draw to fantasy and magical aesthetics, especially the world-building within.

i am a serial overthinker, and tend to see alot of meaning and symbolism in things that plainly do not have them.

while yes i am jewish, my relation to faith is complicated. if you see me type “god” im using it in a turn of phrase with no meaning. if you see me type out “g-d” i am being religious. yes i know thats not how its supposed to work. its meaningful to me.

what will you post?

as previously mentioned, here im trying to make a concerted effort to post a broader variety of things with a wide selection in quality and topic, so unfortunately here the only real uniting theme is going to have to be that i made it. still! to help navigate the space, listed below will be a list of tags i will try to keep to, all of which this post will also be tagged as, since i know tumblr search can be finicky.

#the self and the other

these will be about me, my friends and loved ones, or possibly both

#differing mediums

these pertain to other works or universes, as well as fan content

#harsh tones

this is gonna be the rough stuff. topics will be tagged as needed.

#jaunty doodles

funny business. shenanigans, even.

#lesssfw

listen this blog is for a wide breadth of content, so please if you do not want to, or otherwise should not be seeing mild to moderate nsfw content (i dont rlly plan on posting straight up porn here) block this tag.

wait— is there anywhere you do post more direct nsfw?

maybe, yeah. but before any of that i would like to set some ground rules. these are my spaces for me to share my work for others to see. if you arent a fan of what i post, ill make no attempts to dissuade you from that. your discomfort is your right. I would however request that you dont make your discomfort an issue i am epxected to remedy. ill have no harsh feelings if you arent a fan of my less safe for work content, or even anything it may tangentially relate to, and need to take the necessary steps to curate your experience in those regards. i will be far less than happy if people cant behave because i post content that is not to their personal tastes, within reason.

all of that being said, yes, if you are an adult fan of my other work, feel free to check out @shinyspadetiptail

do you take commissions?

yeah, usually. im not really at the point where i have to close and open them for availability reasons, so shoot me a dm and ill usually be able to give you a response pretty quick on.

price tends to vary by project, and i always set $20 per hour of canvas time as my baseline, but generally simpler stuff like limited detail icons and emojis run in the $20-$30 range, while fully detailed halfbodies tend to run in the $40-$50 range, and fully done fullbodies range more $70-$80. aside from that, backgrounds are a little too context dependent to put a full price estimate on and extra characters can and will cost extra.

usually whatll happen is after laying out the basic price range we’ll talk, and ill thumbnail until we have smth we can agree on, and once weve got an idea of what were going for ill give an estimate that ill try to stick close to, barring any major changes or complications. from then on ill try to send updates whenever i work, and then when im relatively close to finished ill ask for the payment either through paypal or cashapp, after which ill send on the finished piece and any expected variations. in some cases, this may be changed, and payment may be done half at the start, and half when relatively close to completion.

[chenyann]

Alone together!

Riddle rosehearts

|°Rumor: Riddle and you have a study date but you seem to understand much of what's going on and you start to feel a bit sleepy!

|°Rumor warning: gn!reader, crushing, rushed, ooc(?),spelling error,non-edited, studying, Reader hardly says anything-

|°Keys:814

|°Ads: @mystaposts ahhhhh I'm so sorry this is short, it's bc I thought ur birthday was on the 7th and I got busy yesterday😭 but, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MYSTA YOURE SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON TO TALK TO,I KNOW I DONT ANSWER UR DMS SOMETIMES THATs JUST BC IM FORGETFUL😭😭 BUT I TRULY LOVE TALKING TO YOU, I HOPE YOU HAD AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY!

Tapping echoed through the halls. The sun was finding its way through the giant windows in the hallway. It was a warm sunny day, the birds were chirping, so why was riddle frowning? Well to start us off you are late, really late. Not five or ten minutes late but 30 minutes late. Riddle likes things neat and to be on time, all of his assignments were done flawlessly exactly on time  and his room is ordered properly 24/7. So yes, it made him a little upset that you were half-an-hour late. What was so important that made you this late? Usually if you were to be late it wouldn't be half an hour, it would be more like 15 minutes give or take.

The calming silence was interrupted by the quick pitter patter of someone's feet, when Riddle turned to see who it was he was greeted by the sight of you. “What was so important to make you so late?” Riddle asked, as he folded his arms around his torso. “Ace and deuce needed help with something..” you paused, looking at him to see if that worked or not. But to your surprise it worked well. Riddle let out a sigh thinking about those two reckless first years causing problems and breaking rules. For a moment he wanted to ask what happened this time but he didn't really want to know at this point. “very well” he said, as he entered the library. Yall chose a nice spot in the library and sat down shoulder to shoulder. A few days ago  you were complaining about how your grades suddenly dropped. When Riddle asked to see some of your papers he knew why, you were terrible at math– how did you even come up with that answer!? Ridding being the kind soul he has offered to tutor you, it's definitely not because he has a fat crush on you and wants to spend time with you.

“Now shall we get started?” he asked, as he pulled out his notebook. You nodded and pulled out all of your things, Riddle watched as you were rummaging through your bag trying to find a pencil he guessed.“here.” the rose haired boy said as he gave you a yellow #2 pencil. You thanked him and looked down at the textbook, your eyebrows knitted together while you looked at the book filled with numbers and letters "whos idea was it to put letters in math" You thought to yourself.

      Snap!

           "Focus or you won't get anything done" Riddle said, noticing how you were glaring at the book. You nodded and asked riddle a few questions but other than that y'all didn't talk to each other much, which made riddle a bit upset. But you paused again looking at your paper. “do you need help?” Riddle asked with a raised brow, whether you said yes or no he decided to help you either way. “how about you try finding the answer to (x + y) first ” he said, watching as you scribbled on the paper. “now let me see.”

You showed him the paper and he looked at it with a small frown and spoke, “question two is wrong.” “Wait really!?” you asked, a huff left your lips as you sat your head in your arms. You muttered incoherent things before Riddle spoke, “would you like me to show you how to do it?” you nodded, as you placed your head in your arms and looked up at him. “you're gonna fall asleep like that” “no I'm not!” Riddle sighed, “if you fall asleep it's off with your head.” you felt yourself shudder as you imagined that collar around your neck, you nodded as you watched him explain. But you felt tired, you tried to stay up you really did but the feeling was too strong. Your eyes grew heavy and you felt so comfortable, too comfortable.. 

“Now divide (x) by 31 and you will get-” he stopped, looking down at your sleeping form. You fell asleep while I was explaining…. Should I wake you up..? Maybe I'll wait a bit, you may be able to focus if I let you rest for awhile….Riddle sighs as he looks down at your sleeping form, he gently takes the text books, pencil, plus all the other study materials yall had and sat them in their rightful places. Then he was met with your notebook, “I suppose I can look and correct your notes..” Riddle muttered, making sure not to wake you up by mistake. He was met with somewhat exceptional notes, but what really caught his eye were the small doodles of him. It was kinda cute. He sat the notebook down and got up to get a book to read while he waited for you to wake up. Of course he will discuss those doodles with you later.

[riwooga]

What do you mean by "mostly rendering" on your new drawing of your PC? I'm a little confused aaa- It looks good just a drastic change over a couple months ^^;

Happy to see you back though! :3

"I just realized it sounded rude I'm so sorry!!! No offense meant omg, I'm just curious >O<; "

/

Ah you didn't sound rude at all no worries my friend!! 💕 It is a drastic change ahah, but frankly it's just me actually spending more time on art. After my IvoryxRiley piece I kinda realized I liked the results of going over the piece a couple of times and spending more hours on pieces.

So i've been experimenting a bit more, and another piece that isn't even finished, nor DOL related, sort of sealed for me that this was the direction I wanted to take in art albeit it taking more time and energy!

But im gonna attach the speed paint here for a visual of how it works, for this one I made a copy of the original art file so there’s also the sketch of how I made that one original lay back in January.. but otherwise step by step of how my art works now is like

Sketch, sometimes rough color or straight to either second sketch or lineart, more proper color, and then thats where I would usually slap a signature on and call it done, but nowadays I go over it, and basically "paint" over areas, refining it until I like it better. This can be all from just cleaning it up, to redrawing certain areas. But it always takes way over the time the original art took. The example of this Riley drawing, the original was at 2 hours and 16 minutes, meanwhile the rendering then took around 6 hours and 14 minutes. (Pure drawing time, not including me staring endlessly at the canvas LMAO)

I hope that makes sense? Otherwise always feel free to ask again or dm me! 💕💕💕

[floatingwithlaura]

im gonna say it on here bc it’s safer than my other socials atm. i don’t think im trans (fully). i was dead sure for 9? years. i feel like i am losing a part of myself - i am ACTUALLY gaining something but idk my heart is breaking a bit.

i was on T for 2 and a half years. i was gonna get top surgery (and decided not to for diff reasons). i changed my name. the sex on my passport is M. like. i was SO SURE.

now after all this time i’ve finally been unpacking shit in therapy and also learning about autism. and … yeah. i fucked up lmao.

it is entirely on me, i chose to do all i did and i chose to get done what i did. i consented to everything and i do not regret it. i just feel like… let down. that i wasn’t offered the support i needed earlier to understand myself and how i would feel more comfortable.

i am happy w a lot of T changes! like super happy. it made me feel like my own person. but.. yeah.

i think i would consider myself agender but i dont wanna say i identify that way bc its less of an identity and more of just my general understanding of gender. i have never understood gender. probably an autism thing! but i just DONT GET IT. i dont know how it is meant to ‘feel’ or how u even know which one u fit in.

since i was a child i just couldn’t grasp gender like everyone else and i guess that’s why i transitioned bc i never felt like a real girl. but then i didnt ‘feel’ like a boy either. and then i decided to come out as nonbinary but idk. i never ‘felt’ like that either.

to make matters more complicated, my abusive ex stepdad would bully and belittle me for being afab. he made me HATE being born how i was. the csa i felt was only because of my being born this way. no wonder i wanted to get away from it all. i refused to believe he could have an impact like that when i was 16 or so and people were suggesting it. it made me feel even more out of control. all i wanted was to be in charge of my body for once. transitioning felt like getting that control back (one of the reasons im so grateful for it).

in an ideal world gender wouldn’t exist n we would all just utilise hormones and surgery to feel good in our skin much like any other affirming surgeries.

for now i will use they/she pronouns. but idc really. gender is confusing and unimportant to me. i care more for aesthetics lmao ..

i hope this makes some sense n if anyone resonates with it plz dm me :,) i feel quite alone currently. i know it’s a very odd experience but i hope someone somewhere gets it.

[magical-glimpse]

I am not seeking any validation. I was wrongly portrayed by someone here. So I just wanted to make my stand clear. That's all. What would I gain by being acknowledged as his tf/fs. Nothing.. Nada.

I think it is a bit harsh to judge a person whom you haven't even met in real life. If being honest felt like I was trying to be a wanna be I don't know what to say.

Earlier I said I was feeling all angsty and heartbeat rising up. I took some time off. I needed some solitude to reevaluate my thoughts. Why would I hate a person who has no idea of my existence? The best thing to do is to detach. I felt better after that.

Everyone is reading only the parts they want to read. It is always the case. He is not even my type. I would rather have chosen Namjoon or yoongi who are actually my type if I wanted to "fantasise" as being a BTS fs . We don't even know if they will ever marry at all. So why JK? I am not someone to fall for all that grandiose.

I don't watch his lives nor his videos nor his interviews. Out of all the lives he has done I have seen maybe one ? Still you say I am obsessed with him. Tell me how?

Aww he is so good looking he sings so good he is good at everything, he is the heartthrob of millions of girls. Let me make him my fs. So that I get some leverage. U think this is the case for me?

Why would I want him as my fs. Is it money? I would rather use mine. I would only want things which I can afford. So pls. Is it the status he holds in society? Again no it is not it. Is it the looks, nope. I am sorry. Also pls don't ever fall for looks guys. It is not everything.

Do I spend hours looking at his photos or videos? again nope. Still there is some undeniable pull. I can't explain. Pls don't start picking me on it. I beg you.

I can't say if I have a connection to him unless I meet him right? I repeat I did not talk like yeah I am his tf what about it. I just wanted to write there (on YouTube) as a warning to other girls who might be having similar experiences to be wary of what they are experiencing and to be mindful and now I am a wanna be??

I don't care if the whole world is against me. If I am truthful to myself it is enough. To people still nitpicking on me I have nothing to say. Pls stop trying to portray someone as this and this when you don't actually know them in person. It is easier to point a finger.

On an ending note I will write a poem here

Can I love you?

Not for what you are;

Not for what you were;

Not for what you are going to be;

Can I love you

For just being you?

Oh! Let us rest for some time,

Letting go of all this chase,

On my mind all day;

Can't free myself from you,

You are the drug that keeps me high;

Baby you are my fantasy,

I am too drunk on your love.

It is a lame poem but I wanted to end this post on a good note. Bye!!

Why do you feel such a need to justify yourself anon ? If you wanted to talk privately with me i can answer not anonymous asks privately and my DMs are open.

The reason why people on the blog currently act about you as if you were a wannabe is because according to all the information you have given them anon, you are one. YOU are the one burying yourself deeper and deeper in your justifications. It would have been enough to just read my PSA silently. If you felt targeted that is between you and your conscience. If you are the person I think you are, i told you specifically what behaviors you had and why they would put you in danger. You chose to act dodgy again, not my problem. You chose to come here multiple times, to justify yourself for no reason, to expect emotional labor from strangers.

Im gonna repeat myself again, but i dont give a shit about what you think or dont think yourself as.I dont give a shit wether you are more attracted to jungkook or yoongi or namjoon. I DONT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOUR YOUTUBE HISTORY EITHER.

What i care about is your actions. And what you did, anon, is repeatedly come into my asks box bc you felt targeted and wanted to justify yourseld repeatedly for things no one accused you of but your conscience. And if you are the person i think you are, your actions are trying to create "hints" inviting people to think you are jks fs, or at least a bts fs. Repeatedly. I warned you of the risk to be harassed or bullied, of falling into spiritual psychosis or obsession. All the cards are in your hands now.

I will not take this matter publicly anymore. You either come talk privately in my dms or I block you, but I will not play this public,guilty telephone game anymore.

[hugo-hidden-closet]

my safe space.

I heard about this site a bit ago and I think I'm running out of options of safe ways to reach out, so here I am. I'm, uh, Hugo Interino, and I use he/him (pst ooc, use he/they, hes not gonna admit they like those yet :3). I have a crush (and also possibly made him my boyfriend?? it's not exactly him so I don't think he does like me back for sure) on this guy named Noah. Uh, by the way, if you've seen anything weird inside mirrors, let me know please, my "friends" (I met them like today and I think I'm causing too many issues to be their friend) and I would like the help.

With the title of this post by the way, don't come in here being rude please. I don't wanna deal with all that. If you don't like queer people, fuck off please.

hello!! this is a call of cthullu campaign oc, ran by @s0lar-ch3ri ! i have to give credit to my lovely lovely dm @ripells for getting the chance to play him in his campaign (i love my wife /p) "Self Reflecting"! GIVE HIM SOME LOVE AND YEAH

second, hugos character is one from an abusive (physical and emotionally, verbally too honestly) household, so there is mentions of that. hes also not the most mentally stable, so i get to go into his more darker thoughts on this blog! theres gonna be self deprecation, suicidal idealization, implied self harm thoughts and possbily some actually done self harm (no photos, just text!). just to get a small insight, he doesnt believe hes going to survive to 22 (currently 21), either from the monsters of this party, or his dad when he finds out he snuck out to go here. the campaign is also a horror campaign, keep that in mind! gore, blood, corpses, all the like can and will be touched apon if it comes up in story.

OKAY TAG MAKING TIME

#hide in the askbox - answering asks

#hugays in the closet - ooc shit

#communing with my wife / #talking to god i guess - talking to rip, will change if im incharacter or not

#otherworldly insane talking - talking to other chracters i play

#ontop of hugos selfset stage - incharacter talking

@thesilliestpirate take the silly boy

[toxicrevolver]

Hello Obsidian! I hope you're doing well!

(It's funny I just realized our ask boxes have similar names haha)

I just wanted to ask what K-Pop groups you stan and about any biases or ults you might have! I'm very curious~ I know we have Wonhyuk in common but I'm not entirely sure what else!

Hi Minie!! I am doing pretty decent. Tired but that’s my normal state of being. I hope you’re well too!

(I never even noticed the ask box thing. I always forget what mine says so I had to go look. That’s great tho. Great minds think alike!)

The list of K-pop groups I stan is decent. I’ve got two sorta categories. Groups I actively keep up with and then there’s groups I like but DON’T actively keep up with. It’s a weird breakdown. HOWEVER. LETS LIST.

Answers are gonna be under the break bcs it’s gonna get long. I have no excuses.

Groups I Stan/actively keep up with (no particular order):

Disclaimer. Some of these groups I’m still learning names/faces but I’m still actively keeping up with new music content and collecting albums when I can. And I am genuinely trying to learn names/faces. It just takes a bit.

BTS, NCT (yes all of it. The entire mess), Stray Kids, Ateez, OnlyOneOf, Oneus, E’last, Seventeen (BSS included), TXT, Xdinary Heroes (they’re technically a band but meh), SHINee, XEED, Enhypen, Xikers, BoyNextDoor, P1Harmony, Kingdom, RIIZE

Soloists I like

DPR IAN, Jackson Wang, Holland, I like most of the stan lists solo stuff too but im not listing all of the group members who have done solo stuff. I’d be here for like a month.

Groups I like but don’t actively keep up with or really know. They’re music just slaps (i follow some of these groups on twitter/insta bcs pretty but that’s really it. I can’t really name/identify anyone. The handful of exceptions are due to them interacting with members from the stan list or they’re just a recognizable member):

Aimers, 8Turn, Blitzers, The Boyz, Cravity, DKB, Drippin, EXO, The Rose, Lucy, Kard, Monsta X, OneWe, Pattern, Pentagon, &Team, The7, Treasure, Triger, VIXX, XY

So a bias/ult list. That’s a little more complicated bcs I stan quite a few groups of children and/or I don’t know all the members. But an attempt at a list is gonna be made.

ULTS- Suga, Leedo, and Choi In (that’s really it so far. I’m still figuring it out. I’ve only been into K-pop for about a year and I’m still not positive what upgrades a bias to an ult for me.)

Biases- (have a screenshot from my notes app (I’m trying to teach my non K-pop sibling))

NCT is inaccurate but I’m too lazy to change it. That bias list is a mess and if you wanna know more don’t hesitate to either ask or DM me. NCT fav unit tho is WayV. (Side Note. I refer to the new unit as NCT Toddlers.)

SHINee might be wrong too. Minho has been an issue lately.

Kingdom bias is soon to come. I still gotta learn who’s who. Currently from what I’m know it’s leaning Mujin, Arthur, Dann, or Louis

BND bias does not exist those are my children and I can’t pick a favourite child.

Xikers bias is Junmin but Sumin is baby (allegedly Sumin got them banned from saying Skrr and doing the happy happy happy tiktok challenge)

Enhypen biases are Heeseung and Jungwon currently but that’s not concrete (I haven’t watched much of their variety content)

P1H bias is Soul. That’s my son I will protect him with my life. Keeho is my adult bias tho. He scares me. (I hope like hell that makes sense and I don’t sound insane.)

Okay. I think I covered everything. If I missed anything don’t be afraid to ask.

[respitelocklyre]

I made the cheer squad!!! I have a lil more to say but that's the important bit- updates under the cut like always ✨

Cheer tryouts were waaay different than i expected!! I kind of thought it'd be a big ordeal but it was just me and one other freshman who tried out, so we were obvs accepted lol Not that we wouldn't have made it in anyways since we both looked fucking great!! Especially considering I haven't even done any of those moves since last fall. The squad is pretty small and i don't think they do competitive stuff but that's fine, we never did in high school either. I'm more interested in getting to know the rest of the silkball team we'll be cheering on, if the try-outs were any indication of what's to come 🤭 There's this cute owl-guy I might have my eye on- i think he works at the tavern too!!

Oh yeah, i also got the work-study at the tavern! I figure i'll just quit if i don't like it lol but anyways come say hi if ur on campus- i promise you'll recognize me on sight. I'm pretty easy to spot hehe

Oh oh oh and congrats to Mire for getting on the team too!! and for scoring some points with their crush (they can thank me later~). I wonder if they're gonna be able to play well while being cheered on lmaaooo

Classes have been fine, but tbh i haven't rlly been able to pay attention to them since i've been busy partying, meeting new people, and adjusting to life on campus! It's kinda overwhelming, my contacts have like doubled since i got here. And everything is like...way different, yknow? Obvs I didn't think it'd be the SAME as high school, but the vibes are soooo different is all. idk what to make of it all yet but i know that im LOVING being away from home and enjoying my freedom so far <3 Cathy told me the first month or so would probably be rlly hard but idk what she was talking abt bc no one grounds me for waking them up when i get home at 2 am and not even the raven queen can stop me from eating icecream for dinner now.

+++++

In reality, this party was kind of lame, even as Respite typed otherwise to his friends— they'd opted to ditch him for a studying session, so he sure as hell wasn't going to let on that the party was anything but lit. They had a feeling most of them probably wouldn't care, but Willow might feel a touch regretful, so the lie was worth it.

After sending the message to the group chat and briefly checking tinder for any new DMs or matches— maybe he could escape this place and turn the night around— to no avail, they pocketed their phone. How annoying. They rolled their eyes and leaned against the wall, taking a slow sip at the drink they’d been nursing for the past hour. Respite wasn’t really a fan of drinking on the best of nights and all they had to offer here was shitty beer. After a moment of pouting and observing the dimly lit room, they turned and parted the dusty, moth-eaten curtain to look out the window again.

If anyone had noticed the way Respite kept flitting out to the porch or the front window, no one said anything. They did try to keep it discreet, at least, and simply worked it into the way they naturally made the rounds every now and then to talk to different people or get another drink. He liked to move around a lot at parties anyways to make sure that he saw everyone's faces and said hi to them all.

On the opposite side of the spectrum was Mettie, who, shortly after arriving and greeting a few people, had taken an edible or something and parked himself outside on the porch. From there, he seemed to be spending most of his time at the party smoking with other people who needed some fresh air and enrapturing (ensnaring?) them with his long-winded conversation. Respite wasn't sure if this had been his goal when agreeing to come to the party, but it had been the result.

It dawned on Respite slowly that they hadn't really seen Mettie at a party like this before. Well, okay— they'd seen Mettie at one or two big house parties in passing, but they'd never actually spent much time watching him. He’d been the dealer for about 75% of their high school (it was a devastating loss to the community when he’d done his year abroad), so it was hard not to run into him from time to time at parties. But in high school, he was mostly regarded as weird and off-putting. People got what they wanted from him and were generally polite, but it wasn't like he was always invited to stick around. And when he was, it did usually end up like this— he'd put himself in a less populated corner somewhere and make puzzling conversation with those willing to listen.

In their hometown, it had felt like everyone else tolerated it because Mettie was a valuable resource. They knew his penchant for rambling, though, and tried not to engage— Respite himself included.

They couldn't place the feeling as they watched Mettie from the window now, with a handful of people gathered around him, held captive by the way he spoke. These people weren't just being polite, either. They were listening— sometimes even smiling and laughing with him. Sure, they were probably stoned too, but that hardly mattered. It's not like this was the first time it had happened since he’d learned Mettie was also attending Strixhaven. At their cafe shift, during orientation, and at the career fair...things were clearly different here.

A couple of years ago, Respite never would've invited Mettie to a house party with him. It would've been social suicide— he knows; he'd thought about it once early on and didn't even get far enough to invite Mettie before the ridicule started up— and though it had taken a lot to fight against their instinct, they needed to test their theory: Did people here actually like Mettie's company? This party seemed to confirm it for the positive.

In Respite's mind, the jury was still out on whether or not Mettie was cool, but at the very least it seemed like no one was going to corner him in the bathroom and interrogate him about why they saw him talking to the freak who looked like he was one bad day away from shooting up the school (untrue, of course, and tasteless in a way only teenagers could be, but Respite had forced out a laugh at the time).

There was a feeling of relief in that. In knowing that neither of them would be under constant scrutiny from peers and adults alike. Being unknown was freeing in some ways.

But there was a dread in it, too. In losing the structure Respite had spent years delicately building the pieces of their identity around.

A memory from when they were kids came to mind unbidden, of the time Respite had accidentally knocked over one of Mettie's earliest sculptures. It had been unsteady and the base made of air-dry clay toppled easily when Respite bumped the dresser in a fit of energetic excitement, sending it crashing to the ground. The roughly attached bits and bobs came loose and scattered across Mettie's bedroom floor, transitioning from art to disjointed pieces without purpose or clarity in an instant.

For what it was worth, Mettie had taken it in stride even as Respite desperately crawled under his bed with a flashlight to gather everything, apologizing and promising to help him glue it back together. After staying quiet for some time, he'd declared it an act of fate that only added to the piece and gave it new meaning. Respite didn't understand, but they'd been so terrified of being yelled at that they nodded in agreement even as their cheeks were pink from crying. They still attempted to fit some of the pieces back together until Mettie insisted they just put it in an empty shoe box so that he could make something new of it. To this day, Respite had no idea if Mettie had ever fixed it, restructured it, or simply left it as a memorial in his closet.

They wrinkled their nose up at the unwarranted assault of a flashback. Clearly they'd been hanging around Mettie too much already if their thoughts were starting to get this metaphorical. He downed the last of his warm beer, hoping the bile on his tongue would force him to refocus on the party.

[spiteless-xo]

myself and mr. porcofucker just read the chapter sneak peek and based on the writing, i think reader ends up with **** and he thinks it's ****, but also has the theory that she won't end up with either of them.

i want to know if from this point, you think it's obvious who reader will end up with... because as much as i am team eren and have been since i started, it seems pretty open-ended to me rn.

that aside, i am not ready to say goodbye to this tuesday ritual :( i'm gonna miss interacting with you regularly like this </3 (ofc i'll still be here to lovingly bother you tho)

it's so wild how big your following has grown bc of tbaw too! i'm so happy to have been here for quite a bit of this journey! it was fun starting the trend of live ask reacting (;

but tmrw, the boyfie and i are going on a roadtrip and i'm glad because i'll basically get to take my time reading the end

i do have an exam tomorrow morning, so i might avoid the chapter until that's done, but i don't think i'll be on tumblr tmrw in case anything gets spoiled.

but i hope you're doing well!! i still need to see pics of your mikasa outfit!!! and mr. spiteless as the beast titan or zeke or whoever he chose 💀 loll

happy early halloween, tiffie <3

ily mahal ko!!!

hehehehe i did my best to choose the most outrageous snippet i could for the teaser and based on everyone's comments i think i made a good choice 😈

personally, i think it's obvious who she's going to end up with based on everything that's happened in the story, but i might have a clearer perspective as the author. i'm actually really excited to hear that you think it's open-ended because that's what i wanted!! i wanted the story to feel like she could choose either boy, up until the very end.

(there's actually a really, REALLY big hint that nobody's mentioned yet that basically gives it all away. I'm really excited to reveal it after the chapter drop tomorrow 🤭)

idk what im going to do with myself after tomorrow :( the first tuesday without an update is going to feel incomplete and i'm not looking forward to it.

good luck on your exam and have fun on your roadtrip!! 🥰🥰🥰

i tragically forgot to take a photo of me and zeke from our party this weekend!! i'll have to see if someone else has a pic of us in the bg or something 💀💀💀 i'd offer to put it on again for a new pic but those straps literally took me 45 mins to put on and i just don't have the energy for that rn

love you love you and you're always welcome to slide in my inbox, my dms, my whatevers anytime 🥰❤

[smolsammichowo]

Time for a stupid 4 am long post that I’d usually vomit out on twitter but I can type out more shit on tumblr :O

Well uh,

To everyone who has recently followed me on here who is NOT from my Twitter or anywhere else that I linked my tumblr on and just found me from somewhere,

Thanks for following me & also  Sorry for me constantly screaming about random bullshit such as 

- Minecraft Stuff / Minecraft content / Minecraft stream lore / minecraft streamers 

- (note , while I’m not a fan of dream, I have no problem if you are a fan of dream. Just as long as you are kind to others & are kind to me. That should just be common sense really though. ) 

Pro wrestling (Ive mainly talked about AEW & WWE but I do like stuff such as Impact, NJPW, Lucha Underground, Dragon Gate, and a few others! Feel free to dm me some other pro wrestling stuff that you think I’d like too ! ) 

- (note - favorite pro wrestler is a guy named Pac. Gonna confuse the shit out of minecraft people given theres a content creator named Pac as well in the minecraft content creator space lmao. Though the pro wrestler calls himself BASTARD pac as well so I can just call the wrestler BastardPac to not confuse y’all lol ) 

Anime (if I list the animes I like this list would become a fucking dictionary)

Genshin (Tumblr seems SO SO SO SO CALM compared to Twitter , BLESS YOU ALL ) 

Pokemon (seems like a lot of you have followed me from either minecraft or this! Hello! Im doing a pokedex project but i keep redoing it as I keep feeling self concious about my art ; v ; ) 

- Top 5 favorite pokemon not in order are Chikorita, Togekiss, Alolan Raichu,  Koraidon, & Reuniclus

Splatoon (got into the game this year and its like a drug to me now. I adore the paintbrush weapon even though the reef bow is the one Im closest to getting a 5 star on as that one is the money maker ) 

Roblox ( A middle school thing that never left me. Im 23 still playing it. Though its how I made my online persona that is kinda my fursona)

Furry stuff  (o hey speaking of that stuff)

MLP ( Funny enough this ties into above as this was the butterfly effect of me finding the fanbase because of a dumb fanfiction about pinkiepie being hannable lector & making horse cupcakes. ) 

Typing dumb shit at 3 - 4 am in the morning SUCH AS THIS . 

Anyhow I need to stop procrastinating and get a piece of art Ive been working on since yesterday night done. 

Love y’all, just wanted to post a little bit about myself to people who dont really know about me that thought it was a good idea to follow me. 

[dreamyangeldoll]

hi, its the one thats scared of their femininity. im happy you understand, but im also so sorry. cause it's confusing and no one should be mocked for how they choose to present/act.

for me the sense of wrongness is very ingrained in my character, cause growning up older woman always told me if i was too "girly", no one would take me seriously.

i want to wear frilly pink dresses and have all my stuffies on display, but i dont want to be infantalized or called immature.

i didnt spend all that money on a good education to be told "girly = dumb"

im just scared of being seen for what my interests seem to sterotype, and not for who i am.

and im not completely sure this is making sense since english is not my firat language but i tried :)

First of all, english isn’t my first language either and even if it was, I wouldn’t mind any mistakes (and your english seems great anyway!!) .

Second of all, the people who told you that growing up have simply portrayed their own insecurities and fears onto you just like someone probably did with them in the past. I understand why you’re worried, other people’s opinions (or more so the fear of potential opinions) are what’s keeping me from doing a lot of things. Things like that can be a real barrier in terms of expressing yourself. I could write a whole essay on that because I completely get it but I’m gonna try to keep it as short as possible: you are not defined by what you wear (unless that’s what you want). At least not entirely because back when I went to school wearing those types of clothes, that did say one thing about me: I finally got over that one specific fear and just did what I wanted to do in that regard and that was great. So let me reword that…wearing stuff like that will not define you in any negative way?

To be fair, I had already been the very opposite of popular before I did that so maybe that’s why it was a bit easier for me…not like I had anything to lose lol. However, I should’ve done it regardless of my popularity!! You’re precious, you’re smart, you’re all the good things you wanna be and the color or style of your clothes will not change that. I know you should never do stuff for others, you’re not in this world to prove people wrong but if you’re scared that’s what they’re gonna think, might as well show them that your clothes have absolutely nothing to do with what you’re capable of. I know that’s not the perfect motivation but I just want you to be happy. When I started going to uni, I stopped wearing any sort of cutesie clothes outside, too. My style had changed a lot but I was also told that wearing that stuff to university would not look great. I was super annoyed because WHY would people care about what I wear, it’s none of their business. Lollll, I said I’d keep it short, idek where I’m going with this, I just hope you’ll figure out what would make you the happiest and will be able to do just that. <3 also, feel free to dm me (if you’re comfortable with that), I’m here for u!!

[catt-crossing]

aight im gonna vent a bunch of thoughts i had about that bitch who is apparently not my friend anymore. feel free to read, u may need a snack and or a drink though cus it's a doozy :/

so like!! i tried to point out the situation wasn't about her feelings and obviously that didn't matter because she made it about herself anyway. and then she dms me on discord and she tries to point out how it was ME who wasn't acting like her friend like bitch excuse me?? because I didn't message to her, I made her feel bad, all me me FUCKING ME! Like hold the goddamn phone bitch. You didn't message me either!! You also made me feel like fucking garbage!!! Did this bitch message me once or try to talk to me about how I felt?? NOPE!! Apparently me writing out how I felt like shit in the server before I left didn't mean anything to her like okay!! She's too into her own fucking feelings. And then she goes on to tell me how I left the servers she's in including her private one for her only close friends and for one. I left multiple servers, not just the ones she's in, but she wouldn't know because she just assumed I only left the ones SHE is in. Because I needed some fucking space and I felt perhaps she'd like space from me, again not that she'd know because she only assumes and doesn't consider my thoughts or feelings. Like excuse me from needing a break from being around you when you act like a fucking selfish child. And the fact hat she's upset about me leaving her "close friends" server, YET not even trying to talk to me at all, and two weeks after the situation, I find out she's already "mourned the friendship" and has basically tossed me aside. Like gee, why was I even in your "close friends" server then because that sure isn't something you just do to your so called close friends, bitch. She made it all about herself and even though I'm pissed and kind of done with her, since apparently she's done with me, it still hurts. :/ It's so stupid, but I kind of want to cry. I hate hate hate being made to feel like I'm the bad guy, and I know logically I'm not, but it still feels like I am :( and the fact that everyone else is still choosing to be friends with her and excuse her actions and words, is so alienating. I just feel like somehow I messed up and humiliated, and not appreciated or loved by some of my friends. It's obvious they like her more I guess. Everyone in that server simps for her anyway and she gets treated better like anything she does or says is more interesting than what other people have to say. One of my friends who has been on my side and left the server and her dnd game with me pointed out that part of what our friends probably think is that it's okay for me to get hurt because I'm more level-headed and stable and I won't cut people out of my life and drop friendships, which is what that bitch would do. So they would rather preserve her friendship while allowing me to get hurt, and let me just say that shit's fucked up. It honestly makes so much sense, though. So now I'm kind of rethinking some of my friendships and I don't think I can go back to acting totally normal and close with some people, which also fucking sucks. Because that's also a bit alienating or isolating or whatever the right word here is. Lonesome, I guess. Oof :/