#not going to tag EPIC because the people there will be so confused lol

[zeldalizzy]

If you’re still taking art requests and feel in the mood … maybe something you’ve been dying to try with your favorite LU character?

@stormysprite thank you so so so much for your ask!! likewise, i am SO sorry for not responding until now; life has been super hectic!!

So, if you've seen/heard of EPIC: The Musical, this is a shameless reference to Open Arms 😅 The first time i was introduced to EPIC was actually because someone said they head-cannoned Wars voice as Odysseus, and i listened and thought "oh my goodness this is so accurate!" so when i heard Open Arms, i immediately thought of Wars and Sky. So i guess this is something i have been dying to try, since i thought of it the first time i heard the song!

As for my favorite LU character, i love them all equally, and couldn't pick a favorite despite thinking about it for a looonngggg time lol.

So, I have Wars looking a little surprised here, and you can interpret it one of two ways:

1: Wars is startled because Sky comes up behind him and points out that he is tense (Wars just wasn't expecting it)

2: Sky actually bursts into song and Wars is just like 0_0

Anyway, i hope you like it!!! thank you so much for your ask and i am so sorry for getting it done so late!! i hope you have a wonderful new year!! 😊🩵

i just realized that @mercurymoths did something similar to this too! you can find the incredible art here!! ✨ lol when two ppl have the same idea randomly you know it's at least a little accurate, right? 😂

[slowdripsunrise]

jfc okay so i have forgotten/been too lazy to write up reveiws here i apparently havent updated since. lone women which is well. so ive read a shit ton since then so i'm going try my best to write up as much as i can in this post bc i don't want to just. stop and skip over stuff. so well. here we go. spoilers for various books under the cut, i'll tag them all !

first book i finished after i last updated was silver nitrate by silvia moreno-garcia. been a while but damn do i remember the fucking vibes. absolutely killer vibes and atmosphere, and the plot was fun and interesting; i do remember being a bit confused in one of the final scenes fighting the guy but it wasnt enough to take me out of the story. the characters felt real and i could feel their love of movies and maybe each other off the page, definitely recommend if you're looking for an atmospheric, creepy little book.

next (and i'll just group these together) i read the poppy war trilogy by r. f. kuang ! absolutely wonderful storytelling and the characters were interesting and loveable. i think that this story succeeds in being one of the few good "war stories" as in it doesn't glorify or make light of any aspects of the war. there are good moments and bright spots throughout, but in the end pretty much every single character we know and love ends up dead, and before they're dead, they've been shaped so thoroughly by the war around them that there is no way anyone could have come out of this series thinking that it in any way romanticized the events. i loved everything about it and more. but while i did love the series. tbh i don't agree with everyone saying that its the most serious and intellectual and groundbreaking book in the entire world. yes it is groundbreaking and yes it is based on a lot of real life horrific events, but it's also. extremely entertaining. it's written beautifully and has some very poignant scenes that i love, and i am gonna be honest i lost where i was going with this point. i think what i'm trying to say is like before i read it, i saw a lot of people on the internet saying that it is like. the highest peak of literature and such and like. for me, it's mostly just a damn good time. i go into most books looking for entertainment (meaning like. i would like to feel emotions, not necessarily happy ones, just emotions in general) and what i think a lot of people made it seem like, was ONLY an epic tome about the brutality of war, the military, and colonization. and it absolutely is about that ! i am not docking points for it being about those things, in fact if it hadn't had all these hard hitting topics i wouldn't have liked it as much. but it's ALSO about rin, kitay, and nezha, and how they love and hate each other. and sometimes i think people lean too much into one aspect of the book, one way or the other (i have absolutely seen the inverse of this, people forgetting about the colonialism and militarization aspects in an impressive show of hypocrisy. which... is worse imo.) but idk. i have no idea what i am trying to say i just like this book yall.

next oml. okay again grouping them together for my own sake but i read the southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer ! this series was such a creepy and weird and offputting good time i ate that shit right up. the first book and the biologists pov are my favorites, and all of the insight we get from her and the first book into area x was just. so compelling i could not put that shit down. i'm pretty sure the second i finished in the hospital lol i was INVESTED. and honestly. i did really like the second book. not as much as the first, but i don't think it was bad or underwhelming compared to the first. once i got past the pov shift, i really liked controls pov partly because he is just some guy. like he is just so average and banal, and seeing this set against the absurdity of the rest of the book was really interesting. i liked how even though we weren't IN area x, the southern reach still had that otherworldly and offputting suspenseful energy, even in a familiar setting (office building type i mean. as opposed to weird as fuck forest). that and also i am deep into my f1 phase so like i kept picturing control as checo perez. like hes just so guy to me like hes just a normal guy that has no fucking clue whats going on and thats really funny and awesome to me. like man. anyway the third wasnt my favorite, but i still really like the series as a whole and will probably read the 4th one coming out whenever it does.

NEXT. sharks in the time of saviors by kawai strong washburn. did i cry. maybe. did i really like the story. yes. it was definitely a change of pace for me after reading the above books but the story was lovely and magical and engaging and very sad and i enjoyed every bit of it.

after that i read scattered all over the earth by yōko tawada, which is a story that i kinda have mixed feelings about? i listened to the audio book and the narrator did such a wonderful job, i loved listening to the two man characters talk about language in the mc's made up language, panska. and if the book was just about that, i probably would have liked it more, exploring language and the loss of it; however one of the side characters constantly get's misgenders when the story is outside of her pov. and it's like. really fucking distracting. so like i guess i don't have very mixed feelings about it lol. i liked one bit, definitely did not like another bit, and the rest of the book wasn't really strong enough to sway me back into the "i like this book and think it's interesting" camp. although if you can get past the blatant transphobia, the audio book really is nice to listen to, especially coming off a post surgery high.

next i read the ghost bride by yangsze choo ! this was another really atmospheric, palpable book. i could feel the setting, the humidity, the smells, all of it and it was so good! an engaging story, i'm pretty sure i read this one in a day or two. the characters were fun, the plot moved quickly in a way that made sense, and exploring the realms of the dead and the living with the characters was so fun, definitely recommend !

im gonna wrap this post up here mostly bc im hungry but i still have a lot more to update on ! if u made it this far thank you and also im sorry. happy reading!

[lemonhemlock]

I really think some Green fans need to get real and realize the show will never portray a clearly young girl (we don't know the character's age but the actress was 15 years old during S1 filming - it's just vile to pretend her character was making everything up) lying about getting raped and setting poor Aegon up. Also, he was never confused when Alicent confronted him about what he had specifically done, in fact, the dialogue between them heavily implies this was not the first time this happened. He also never denied the accusation which I think he would've if the "it was a set-up" scenario was true. Anyway I doubt Dyana will knowingly be involved in the B&C affair either like some people from the other side keep hoping for. If she's going to provide information about the hour Helaena and her children are visiting Alicent or anything of the sort then it will likely be the some manipulation from Mysaria's part. I highly doubt Misaryia is going to say to Dyana "I know he wronged you and you want justice. How about we kill his heir?" and she'll be like "yeah let's do that". Her being a part of B&C is the second worst arc she could possibly have after the fake rape plot some are suggesting (or just as bad) because in no way one can ever claim that an innocent child getting beheaded in front of his mother would be an epic revenge story the audience will be cheering. I don't believe the writers will choose either of these two options.

yeah, the reason aegon turns the waterworks on and looks confused is because mummy hit him, not because mummy unjustly accused him. i realise some fans are hoping against hope and there's nothing wrong with daydreaming about a perfect pro-green world (i wish LOL), but, unfortunately, there's no "fixing" the dyanna situation. portraying young girls as manipulative liars when it comes to rape is just way more damaging than portraying a rapist prince on screen. we need to believe women and normalize that in our media, not to give more ammunition to dismissive narratives.

if the writers, say, had a change of heart and realised the error of their ways (i know, bear with me) or regretted the lost opportunity they had with aegon or whatever else. AT MOST, they could maybe retcon the child fighting pits thing bc aegon is never actually shown in there, so, if they REALLY wanted, they could never mention it again and pretend it didn't happen. but dyanna already got a pretty emotional scene where she was scared out of her mind and pleading with alicent + aegon basically admitted his guilt in the very next scene, so there's not much to do about that, other than reshoot the episode or re-edit it to remove that sideplot, which is obviously never going to happen ever. also, say what you will, but it was a pretty big deal that alicent believed her, no questions asked, and provided her with contraception and financial compensation, instead of punishing her and going "nuh-uh, not MY son"

like, "house of the dragon fake rape plot angers SA survivors and women's rights organizations" is not a good headline to have unless their aim is to turn it into The Idol with dragons

the good news, though, is that aegon is not real, so, as beings who exist in three dimensional spaces & outside screen and paper, we can acknowledge it as a controversial writing choice, accept it as an L and just move on with our lives. you don't have to agree with it & there is ample room to critique it, but it's also time to (gently) advance with the five stages of grief. the damage is already done, i'm afraid, we just have to take it on the chin and carry on.

i also agree that dyanna actively participating in b&c would be a mistake and not smth aspirational for her character (i have already breached this topic in her tag for curious cats). but i'm not convinced i trust the writers 100% NOT to go down this path bc they have sure shown that they can have a very simplistic understanding of female badassery and emancipation sometimes, re: how rhaenys killing civilians doesn't matter. all the more frustrating, because, had they moved the set around a little, she could have flown out dramatically on meleys without killing anyone, while maintaining all the benefits of the scene. but it seems they're not immune to shock just for the sake of shock.

anyway, as with all speculation, i am simply just talking out of my arse right now and cannot judge any aspect of S2 without seeing it first. episodes can be filmed with more than one version for various plots and who knows what they'll choose in the end. dyanna's actress may be filming scenes, but do we have any assurance those scenes will even make it in the show? there's no certainty they won't end up cutting them and editing the episode around her. so she can act out the most Kill Bill variant of her character and by the time next year rolls around it's on the cutting room floor

[twopoppies]

hi!! i looked in your fic rec MP and i didn't see it, so i thought I'd ask. i read In Vogue recently and LOVED it and then I've been binging project runway episodes (bc why not) and now I'm craving good fashion fics. maybe even a project runway one. have you read any good ones? and could you maybe rec some?

Hi sweetheart. Ohhh, I love that fic. And yes, I’ve got a few that have to do with fashion.

In Vogue by otpwhatever / @thecelineharry (M, 121K) This one is just….so much. The intensity of the characters, the crazy hot smut (oh god, the window scene), the FASHION, the angst (I had to take a walk around the block after reading it), the epic love story between two men who could rule the world if they could just figure their shit out. The fic has been deleted, but the link is to a download.

These Constant Stars by stylinsoncity (M, 31K) This author has written so many great fics and this one is really lovely. I also always like when one of the boys is not what he seems to be on first glance. There’s also a second part, told from Harry’s POV.

Three French Hems by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews (M, 20K) the characterizations and set up for this fic are sharp and funny, making this a really fun read. Plus there’s a lot of talk of Louis worshipping Harry’s thighs. LOL!

Fading by tothemoonmydear (M, 202K) Let me start by asking you to please read the tags on this one. It’s a very well-written fic, but it deals very graphically with Louis’ character’s eating disorder. At the time it was written some people felt it did not portray ED recovery accurately, so if the subject is at all triggering for you, please don’t read this one. Of that’s not an issue for you, make sure you have tissues ready because I ugly cried through almost all of this. I read it years ago and loved it at the time, but it’s not one I could handle reading twice.

sweet, where you lay by @infinitelymint (E, 27K) I read this ages ago and my notes only say that it was “sweet and sexy”, which is not terribly helpful. But this author is a good one, in general, so I feel safe including it here.

The rest of these were suggested by @cuethetommo who generally likes the same sort of fics I do. I either haven’t read these, or don’t remember enough about them to have an opinion! 😆 But I trust her.

Put It All On Me by LoadedGunn (M, 15K)

"Yeah, yeah, give it to me, that's it, spread your legs a bit, there you go."

The camera follows Louis as he does. Maybe if the modelling thing doesn't work out, he could try the porn industry. Then again, he's a bit too stocky to be twinky and a bit too twinky to be anything else. He likes that about himself, though. Well, directors and photographers like that about him. He could pull off pretty and edgy, could do GQ in the morning and a perfume commercial in the afternoon. Right now he thinks he could pull off anything, because it's Harry fucking Styles directing him.

Or, a Top Model AU where Louis is accidentally there to make friends, not become Britain's Next Top Model. (Also Zayn is the supermodel host.)

you pull me in by yoursongonmyheart (NR, 7K)

“Did you really wear silk jammies to meet him?” Fizzy is almost in tears.

He’s going to kill them.

He’s really going to kill them.

Ernie throws his backpack on the floor before telling Fizzy, quite loudly, “Mr. Styles looked at Achoo like this” and making an exaggerated jaw dropped face.

“That is not what happened!” Louis protests.

“And Achoo looked at Mr. Styles like that, too!” Doris pulls the same face before laughing.

------

//or the one where Louis is a model, Harry teaches Doris and Ernie at primary and now might be a good time to fall in love.

This Road Leads Where Your Heart Is by LittleLostPieces (E, 15K)

Alright, so Louis has a bit of a type is the thing. And as fit as his supermodel flatmate (Harry) may be, he isn't what Louis is looking for in a potential partner. That’s all. He’s not Louis’ type, with his miles of lanky limbs and his bright, boyish eyes. His impossibly tight, little body and infectious laughter are not what Louis wants. They're not. Really.

swimming in a champagne sea by delsicle (E, 17K)

Louis is a supermodel. Harry is a celebrity photographer known for capturing the brightest up and comers in their most candid moments. They meet at London’s most exclusive New Year’s Eve party.

An alpha/alpha fic filled with confusion, banter, Ubers, and glitter

Life at Shutter Speed by zarah5 (E, 20K)

AU. Having landed a job modelling for an outdoor clothing catalogue, Harry certainly wouldn’t mind doing some extracurricular work for photographer Louis Tomlinson. Say, a private photo session? Yes, please? Good thing that Harry has ten days and three beautiful locations -- Morocco, Indonesia and the Swiss Alps -- to make Louis see just how good they could be.

Special Topping by LoadedGunn (E, 20K)

'Who would even want so many pizzas so late at night?' Harry wonders before the door opens.

Oh. Apparently short guys with shaggy brown hair and a scruff and bright blue eyes and heart-stopping smiles. That's who.

Harry's not even ashamed of how he nearly drops all the pizzas. This guy is gorgeous and Harry hasn't noticed anyone like that in ages, let alone provided services to them. If he opened his mouth right now the only thing that would come out is, "By special topping did you mean my dick?"

Or, the AU where Harry delivers pizza and Louis really just wants Tim Gunn to spank him.

everywhere (i want to be with you) by itiswhatisbutterfly (E, 42K)

Harry and Louis meet because they have terrible friends, they fall in love because something feels right in a world of uncertainty and shifting grounds. Louis is an actor and Harry is a model at the top of his game, the best things in life are the most unexpected ones and the things that hit you when you are least expecting it.

Featuring winter in London, nights in Paris, early mornings in New York, burning heat in Monte Carlo and an enduring love spent transcending four corners of the globe.

Young Gods by sincewewereeighteen (E, 77K)

“Why don’t you stay?” Harry looked down at him and snorted. “What?”

“You’re not my type, Louis”, the boy rolled his eyes sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his boots.

“Says the man you just had sex with”, Louis pointed feeling smart, but Harry was one step ahead of him, with the answer on the tip of his tongue.

“You see, if you were my type, I wouldn’t have”, Harry winked, cheeky as hell. “I would’ve gotten to know you first.”

“Bullshit”, he accused the boy not letting it show how intrigued he was. “How can you know I’m not your type if you don’t know me?”

“How about I list five things about you to prove I’m right and if any of them are false I’ll lie down again.”

“Ok. Go.”

[Or: the one in which Louis is a model and Harry's supposed to be a normal guy... Until he isn't.]

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[imbellarosa]

Let’s Talk Calm-ly about Two Loves

OR: When you’re a grown man who writes stories for a living, you definitely wrote your own weird bedtime story, too. 

The TLDR here is that H has taken one specific listener around the globe, notably to Tokyo and Jamaica. He quotes an old Victorian Poet who was an awful human but who’s lasting legacy is the phrase “a love that dare not speak its name” which is - you guessed it - a reference to queer love. He also is super excited to spend what seems like the foreseeable future with this listener and has bought a little house with a garden of daisies with them and it’s very sweet and domestic. Anyways this is a wild time and it’s all under a cut because it’s...really a lot. 

Anyways I think the people I owe thank yous this times around to are @queenlokibeth​ who had to listen to me scream about this for a while, Astrid, who screamed with me when this came out, and “M” who convinced me to finally get to work in this fandom. And, of course, all of the lovely people tagged below who’s work I used to build my argument. 

1.) Who Wrote “Dream With Me”? 

Well, not H, or so the story goes. Two other people (Steve Cleverly and Sanj Sen) did! I mean, right, okay, for a while I was like...that seems like an odd choice for a man who didn’t want to hand Two Ghosts over to his own band because it seemed too personal. He wrote on every song in both albums’ he’s released thus far, because he seems to be passionate about telling the stories he wants to tell (even if he won’t tell you explicitly what they’re about). But for a while, I was totally going with the flow there, and the rest of this analysis would still stand: the writer of this story definitely referenced a poem by Lord Alfred Douglas and Harry’s own songs. 

However, I then read this fun quote from the Co-founder and CEO of Calm: 

“Well,” he said, “The the Harry Styles one is interesting because that came purely from Harry Styles himself...we took the approach of creating a sort of musical epic poem – he doesn’t sing, it’s spoken with poetry, but there’s a sort of musical sound bed to it and it’s pulling on things and themes that Harry’s fans really adore about him and associate with him. So his story was driven really by him – we really created a concept around him.” 

-  Chris Advansun, July 7th, 2020 via @hlupdate​

And I thought, hmmm. This does not sound like a project that he was not involved in creating. From this point on (July, 7th 2020), I began to think of it as a three way co-collaboration between him and the other two authors. But this confused me a bit, because there was largely a nonreaction from the fandom. I was waiting for an actual transcript, because I always fall asleep to these meditation stories, but it was being referenced to as some sort of Y/N fic, which was...honestly not what I expected, but also not implausible, thanks to the ~lovely~ image this man has had since the age of sixteen. But also, twitter seemed to be concerned by other things at the moment, and no one was analyzing the story. . 

In fact, I messaged a friend the day that this story dropped, because it had been kind of a shit show day on Twitter. Rumors were sort of flying about everyone and everything: had Liam shaved his head? Was he engaged? Had he and Maya broken up? Were Zayn and Gigi engaged? Had they broken up? Did Niall have a girlfriend? (this one was true lol). Were Elounor engaged? Were they pregnant? Had they broken up??? My personal fav was the bald Liam rumor, which he promptly put to rest in LP Act 1 by...having a huge mane of hair. 

So then I thought - huh. Why has today looked like this? I’m not saying that there aren’t days that twitter goes wild because of boredom, because there definitely is - the articles about secret meetings in Italy that are coming out this week (8/12/2020) are proof positive. So that definitely does happen, but it doesn’t usually happen on the days that there’s a lot of content. And maybe I’ve just been starved for content in this fandom, but I would consider a 40 minute video quite a bit of content. 

Then the transcript dropped. I’m using two as references - this one on Wattpad and also @carl-and-pearl ‘s version here (thank you so much for the transcript!!). We’re going to get into a more detailed description of what’s going on in the story, but the first thing I recognized immediately is that it was first person POV. I knew that going in, based on the number of Y/N jokes going around on twitter. Then I read it aloud, and I realized that it read like a letter. Like an experience specific to the writer and the reader. And while that’s not super uncommon to write about an experience from the author’s POV - I listen to a podcast called Nothing Much Happens: bedtime stories for adults which has a similar concept - I thought it was odd that they were trying to include both the author and the listener. I completely understood why the y/n jokes were pertinent. But at the same time, it felt like something had snagged in my mind - like a particularly annoying splinter. 

The conversations I was having around this story - completely based on the content, concept, and my own instinct - was that this story contained specific references to one person. I thought that it did read like a love letter, and that most identifying features would have been taken out, but the essence remained. Which, once I thought about it, was something that H excelled at doing. Think about Sunflower Vol 6 and Adore You and Canyon Moon and even Watermelon Sugar and Golden.  Ask yourself, What do I know about the person they are about? They have skin that browns, they have a secret, they have mesmerizing eyes, they’re willing to dance in the kitchen with him (to dancehall), they have a belly, they’ve been through hard times, they’re witty, they have an accent, and they have lips. I know - super specific right?

So the splinter grew into a thorn - what was I missing? And then - when I was looking for something completely different - I stumbled upon this old interview Harry did with Zach Sang and the Gang Show back in 2017.  For context, he was being asked about Sweet Creature. As you can imagine, it’s hard for people to believe he wrote such a beautiful love song when he hadn’t ever really had a long term relationship (two hearts in one home?? Who did you move in with, you can imagine them asking. When did you have time?). So what did he have to say about this?

"In my opinion,” he explained, “I think most songs are written for one listener. Maybe there's one thing in there that only they'll notice about them.... It's so much easier to say something in a song than it is to say it to someone and I think it's really amazing to be able to communicate through that and be able to wrap up everything that you want to say in three and a half minutes and say it in a song."

- HS, May 3 2017

By this time, please believe that I was screeching. Seeing this felt like he put into words the exact feeling I had about “Dream With Me”. It felt like a nod to someone that I didn’t know, which made the story hard to listen to, tbh. Although, I will say that when I did finally listen to it, it knocked me out and gave me odd dreams so. Once was enough for me haha! 

So my new operating theory is exactly what Advansun said: I think that H was the primary writer/the driving force behind the story. Because of the references I’m about to run through, because it feels like the way he tells stories, and because they admitted to him being more involved than they originally claimed. That’s going to be how I write the rest of the analysis - under the impression that H had a direct hand in the story that was being put forth. However, I think that the analysis itself would stand whether or not he wrote any of it. It would just be a more tenuous reflection of him than I believe it to be. 

2.) How Do I Love Thee? In Two Ways. 

Before I jump into the story, let’s talk a little about the poem that I want to compare it to: Two Loves, by Lord Alfred Douglas.  Let’s be clear this is not at all a defense of who Bosie was - he was a terrible person, particularly in his later years, when he’d converted to Catholicism and turned his back on his younger self, and his partner, Oscar Wilde. He was violently anti-Semitic, and turned his back on his own community. I want to get this out of the way because I very much believe that we should examine artists for who they are. That is, after all, what I am trying to do here. 

But his poem Two Loves has often been used - much to his disappointment, I’m sure - as an exploration of queer love in Victorian times. A line that I will be exploring more deeply in a second was in fact used against Oscar Wilde in his trail for indecency . He attempted - unsuccessfully - to explain it away, but it was too blatantly about their relationship for even the British Victorian society to ignore. I really, really recommend a read of this poem, because it is - despite it’s author - a good piece of work, which explores the themes of shame and love and longing between two men in that time. 

I’m going to start with my own background, as someone who’s analyzed fandoms before. I first came across this poem in the Sherlock fandom, with this analysis by @the-7-percent-solution​, when I was running in that fandom, and she explains the poem brilliantly in just a few lines. I’m going to take a little longer to run through it, but if you want a concise explanation and a brilliant meta, I encourage you to run to their blog and check it out. That fandom taught me most everything I know about catching symbols and recurring themes and “clueing for looks” and I love it desperately, still. 

But we’re here to talk about this fandom, so on with the poem! Essentially, the poem outlines a dream the speaker had: In his dream, he’s standing in a field with flowers - beautiful ones of all kind - and he meets this young man with clear blue eyes and bright red lips and they kiss a bit and have a picnic, and it’s all lovely. If you think I’m kidding, I’m really not. Please, read it for yourself. 

Anyways, after they did they did the whole picnic thing, the speaker and his date go on a walk in this field, where they come across two figures. The first is described as, 

“...fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids And joyous love of comely girl and boy, His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy; And in his hand he held an ivory lute With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair, And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute, And round his neck three chains of roses were.” 

- Two Loves, 1894

The speaker, however, was drawn to the second figure: 

“He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight, And yet again unclenched, and his head Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death. A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold With the device of a great snake, whose breath Was fiery flame..”

- Two Loves, 1984

Of course, the speaker immediately asks the second man who he is. The second man says, “My name is Love”. The first man corrects him quickly: 

“ He lieth, for his name is Shame, But I am Love, and I was wont to be Alone in this fair garden, till he came Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.”

-Two Loves, 1984

The second man sighs and acquiesces, “Have thy will. I am the love that dare not speak its name.” 

It was, of course, this last line that really gave the meaning of the poem away. It was the line that was put to Oscar Wilde as proof of a romantic relationship, it was the line that went down in history as a way to refer to queer love, and it was the line that first stuck out to me when I was reading “Dream With Me”. 

The reading here is clearly that “Love” is the love that is acceptable to society - easy, sweet, and cherished. “Shame” is the love that happens in secret - beautiful, alluring to the speaker, passionate, anxious ( as can be seen in the clenching and unclenching of his hands), and proud. He refuses to call himself as anything but what he is. The first man may call him Shame, but he refuses the name, and instead, offers a qualifier to his own descriptor. He is still love, he is just the love that can’t be spoken about. 

3.) Walking in Golden Fields of Sunflowers

Now let’s talk about “Dream With Me”. I’m ignoring the first few stanzas (from the line “Have you ever wondered” to “What the two of us can find”.) because those are pretty standard introductory paragraphs to a guided meditation. So we start with the line “Let’s travel now to moonlit valleys...”. 

I’m going to do the same thing I did with “Two Loves” first. I am going to describe literally, in general terms, what happens in the story. Warning, I change pronouns from “they” to “you” because the whole thing confuses me, but note that I’m always talking about the speaker and the listener: 

So after doing the standard intro, the speaker and the listener take a walk through the woods enjoying nature, particularly the grass, the trees, and the blue sky above. You’re already clearly in love. Then you’re magically on a raft, with cherry blossoms all around you. If you want a good visual for that, here’s a site that has pictures from a boat rental in Tokyo where you can snuggle on a raft in the  Chidorigafuchi moat. And then suddenly it starts raining, and they (you) watch the rain for a hot second, and then the scene magically shifts again, and you’re under a porch (although I guess it could be the boat rental’s porch. They do usually have covered areas). 

Kind of furthering that theory, they then lounge by the shoreline, skipping stones and hanging out, looking at the snow capped mountains. In case you’re curious, because at this point I sure was, you can see mountains from certain areas in the city of Tokyo. 

Anyways, then it’s snowing, and you’re magically in a cabin, just chilling by the fire, and you fall asleep again. You wake up somewhere else.

Where are you now? Well, you’re on a tropical island filled with palm trees. As an American, my mind immediately jumps to the Caribbean, but I suppose it could absolutely be in the Mediterranean as well. The island has white beaches, mangroves, a turquoise ocean, and a gorgeous, peaceful atmosphere. 

If you’re curious as to what a mangrove looks like - and I certainly was - they are a group of trees and shrubs that live in the coastal intertidal zone and Jamaica is doing a massive restoration project involving primary school children to regrow this vital part of their ecosystem. More interestingly, there currently exist no mangrove forests in the Mediterranean, so my initial feeling that this scene would take place in the Caribbean was correct. On that note - again, because I was curious - Jamaica has gorgeous white sand beaches with turquoise oceans. 

But I’ve gone off topic again! After you’re minds are “in tune” once more (trying to find a heartbeat, anyone?), you reappear in a meadow, with beautiful flowers of all kind, where you are now walking hand in hand through a field of sunflowers, which give the feeling a “warm and golden hue”. Then you come across a little farmhouse with daisies poking out (clearly I have no way of locating this anywhere in the world, but I assume that the UK has both sunflowers and daisies). It’s an empty house which was loved and left because of the passage of time, which inspires my favorite line in the poem: “ The thought of passing time inspires/A feeling that grows stronger”. It’s just...really sweet to me. 

So, of course, they do what anyone would do when they come across an empty farmhouse, they go inside. And there, they begin to fall asleep, reflecting on all they have just seen, referencing other scenes of the poem: “ Moonlit valleys, Burdened forests, Gazing at the ocean. Summer meadows, Tranquil sunsets steeped in emotion”. 

The next few stanzas are just going to be copy-pasted, and then I’ll go into them a bit, but this is the end of the poem, so they’re the final reflections;

“The tenderness we feel When we are close Two minds as one Surrounds us and connects us But we’ve only just begun.

For now we dream together Of all there is to follow. And know that sleep will keep us safe From now until tomorrow.

Maybe all the memories That we’ve gathered here tonight Are all dreams now remembered Or wishes in plain sight.

No matter what They’re with us now. For this night and forever. And every time we close our eyes They’re yours and mine to treasure.” 

- HS, Dream With Me, via @carl-and-pearl​

And that’s it! The literal story, in short, is that you started in a forest, then went to Tokyo (maybe) and then Jamaica (perhaps) and then back to a field of sunflowers and daisies in the UK (which is also a guess, it could be Italy or France or Idaho for all I know, but let’s call it an educated guess). 

4.) My Dream Journal

So now that we know what happens in the story, how do we interpret this? Well, There are a few lines in the poem that I want to draw your attention to: the first takes place in the first part of this story, when you’re still in the forest. This is, I must say, the most direct reference to Two Loves in the whole poem/song/story. Both works are describing a walk in the woods with your loved one, and, in a fun reference in the middle of the story, Dream With Me says

The shimmering reflection Shows us smiling from above. But what we think But dare not speak is L-O-V-E love.

-Dream With Me, 2020

Remember that line I mentioned before? I am the love that dare not speak its name. Right, so that’s almost a direct quote. It also has a really fun nod to “I Would” (Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?/Well if it was me then I would), but I digress. 

This first part of the narrative, I feel, really sets up what the rest of it will look and feel like, in the same way that “Golden” sets the tone for Fine Line. (You didn’t think I was going to make a post about Harry and NOT mention Golden, did you?? If you did, I’m disappointed!!). So  let’s take a look at what’s happening, and the language he’s using to describe it. 

One of the best things about this poem is how vivid it feels. Of course, I’m about to argue that it’s vivid because it was based in reality, but let’s talk about the sheer amount of detail he uses to describe the place he’s walking through. The valley (canyon lmao) is moonlit, the grass and the leaves make mosaics of green, you’re walking by the heather (the symbolism of heather is good luck, admiration, and protection), the sepia sunlight breaks through the trees. 

You know what it kind of sounds like? Sweet Creature. You’re about to roll your eyes at me! I can feel it! But listen, okay?  

“Sweet creature Running through the garden Oh, where nothing bothered us But we're still young I always think about you and how we don't speak enough”

Which, to be honest, sounds like what they’re doing. They’re walking through the garden in the sun, not daring to speak about the Love that he (they both) feel, and instead refering to it in veiled Victorian terms. 

And then we head to Tokyo! I know that you’re about to ask me why I think it’s Tokyo versus...idk, anywhere else? Well, for one, he went to Tokyo (to let it go) publicly in 2019. He was there for a few months, and there are some great pictures of that time: 

Look! Here he is with his club owner friend and his dog, and a fun red bandanna! But let’s be honest, the dog really steals the show here. But wait! there’s more! More dog content, too!

This was on Jan 31st, 2019, and he’s taking the dog for a walk! Very cute! If nothing else, he spent a lot of time with dogs in Tokyo! And the city fits the description of the story. So I feel rather comfortable with my interpretation that this first date is a memory of this trip - or another - to Tokyo. 

So what did “you both”do in Tokyo? Well, chill on a raft while the cherry blossoms flutter around you, clearly. You also refocused your purpose. What did he do in Tokyo in 2019? Well, he took time to think about and write songs for the album he was about to go record. Kind of like refocusing on what’s next, right? And then, in the story when “you both” had time to think amongst the lake and the water and the rain and the moon, and you’d come to the conclusions you needed to, you left. What did he do when he did the things he needed to? Well, he left, too. 

And where did he go? Well, in real life, I suppose he went to do his job. But, in the story, you’re meant to be falling deeper and deeper into sleep, so it’s sort of like traveling backwards, you see? Like counting down to one. So you end up on this island with turquoise ocean and mangrove forests. I’m calling this Jamaica. Why? Well, the description fits, for one, down to the four types of mangroves that exists within its ecosystem. 

And - probably the biggest reason - I can place him there, too. Here’s him in 2017:

I added this picture because the water around him....looks rather turquoise, doesn’t it? Kind of like he’s enjoying his time on a tropical island by the beach?? Oh, and here’s another one!: 

The red bandanna makes a comeback! 

So what are you doing in Jamaica, according to the story? Well, you’re hanging out, basically. Enjoying the beach and each other, of course!  What else? To be exact, “[Your] thoughts dovetail and unify/ In tune two minds together”. I’m so glad that you’re tuned like an old guitar now! Congrats! Really happy for you! 

What was he doing in Jamaica three years ago? Why, he was recording his first album, or so the story goes. I’ll tell you something: finding press for that album was literally the most difficult part of this whole analysis. I got a fair bit of the tattoo roulette with Kendall Jenner, and some things about Carolina, but the interview with Zach Sang took me like an hour and a half to find again to link. The fact that a lot of it has been buried is...not great, for posterity purposes. He’s going to want that one day. 

But I’ve gotten off track again! We gotta go back and finish our story, right? What happens now? Well, this does: 

hahahaha okay, I’m really sorry, but I had to. I’m not, actually, making it up though! According to the story: 

“ As minutes turn to hours We drift off somewhere new. And visualize a stairway To a door we now walk through”

- Dream With Me, 2020

So maybe Louis was just...demonstrating for you. 

Anyways! Where do you walk out to? A golden field full of sunflowers. You walk for a minute, then come across an old house with daisies popping up out of the garden. And that’s where the story ends. I guess you’ve made that farmhouse feel like home. 

Now to the little reflection he does on the outro. The lines I want to bring your attention are: “The tenderness we feel when we are close two minds as one surrounds us and connects us but we’ve only just begun” and “Maybe all the memories that we’ve gathered here tonight are all dreams now remembered or wishes in plain sight.”

Let’s talk about the first sentence first. In the context of finding a home that could be a shared home, and a future, this is very much an “end of the story, beginning of our lives” sort of thing. You’re back from all over, and it’s time to settle down, and see what’s next. 

And now the second sentence. I think this is the one that really drives my point about this story being a collection of memories he has - that’s what he calls it. The story is “gathered memories” that might also be called “remembered dreams” (think of how people say of vacations, “oh it was a dream!”) or you might call it “wishes in plain sight”. This feels in line with the rest of the story. In this stanza, he’s sort of letting you in a bit. If I’ve read this right - and I really think that I have - he’s giving the larger context for the story. It’s a collection of memories he’s had with someone he loves. 

5.) Cool! Can you prove it? 

I mean, I’d argue that if you read this far, I have proved it, but let’s make some more links, shall we? This was called a “muscial epic” that was “driven by him”. I’d argue that if I know my Victorian literature (thank you, Sherlock!), then he definitely does. Then there’s the fact that he quoted it, so. That did happen. And he knows what it means. And even if he didn’t, there were two other people on the story. Someone was more than capable of catching that one, and the fact that they didn’t speaks to intent. They want you to think of that phrase when you read this poem. They want you to think of that walk in the woods while you’re going on this one. 

And, as for my assumption that this is for and about one person, well. Think about it. He said that he writes his songs for a single listener. I’m not saying it’s the same listener each time, let’s get that right, but it is always just for one person. With that, and with the assumption that he’s been involved in the writing of this story, I’d say that the same rule applies. He went with someone to Japan and Jamaica (J^2 haha). And, if I had to guess, it was the same person. 

Why, you ask? Well, for one, if that weren’t the case, then this poem would no longer be for one listener, it would be for multiple. And, for another, imagine how awkward it would be to listen to it with his current partner and have to explain “oh, yeah that was the super romantic vacation I took with someone else” . And, I suppose that because I think that attitude of “refocusing” and “dovetailing” and “tuning” and getting excited about imagining all of the tomorrows with your partner speaks to a long term relationship breathing easily, you know? 

I’m also going to argue that describing the aura around the house as “golden” was intentional, especially when paired with the location - in the middle of a field of sunflowers. Those are both direct references to his songs. And those two songs are particularly linked by the number 28. The third song that features 28 is Fine Line the song, but that’s a different story. Anywho! “Golden”’s bridge just repeats the word ‘golden’ twenty eight times (if you go here , you can count the bridge) and “Sunflower Vol. 6″ ends the song with 28 “boops” (believe me, I wish I was making this up. I’m not.). So then, once again, you’ve linked a story to two already linked songs. 

And, even if you don’t buy the intentional repetition, they’re linked another way, aren’t they? The color scheme and the sun symbol. Sunflowers were named because of their sun-like appearance. They turn to face it. They symbolize loyalty and adoration. And then, of course, the sun is - say it with me - golden. And it - like the person in golden - waits in the sky, beautiful and dangerous and constant. And here that symbol is, in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. At home. 

This whole story feels like you’re taking the time to find that heartbeat that you think you might have lost, and sort of coming back to a space where you understand that this is what you want, now and forever. It feels like finding a home that could be yours forever, and it feels like walking through some of the moments that remind him of that. 

It really is rather lovely, if you think about it, especially since he has a tendency to attribute “home” to people rather than place, in his songs. So it’s like. Going all around the world and always being at home. 

[ellelans]

You made a tag comment about how Buddie wasn't planned from the beginning. And therefore what we got in Season 2 wasn't (at the time) the groundwork for a love story. I agree completely! Much of it I can see as either a bit of fun (the Christmas elf, the instagram girl) or that kind of hyper-masc heterosexuality that loops around itself and becomes gay (Buck's whole...thing with Eddie in the beginning, the focus on Eddie's body/hotness/physical appearance). But sometimes I step back and look at the whole and I'm all 🧐 🤔.

I don't even know what I'm asking lol. Would just love your thoughts/feelings on the confusing spectacle that are Buck and Eddie in season 2. And when/how/why did the show change their mind?

Thank you so much for the ask and you know what? Let’s talk about it.I recently had an in depth chat about this pretty unpopular opinion with a friend and I tried to explain to her why I don't see buddie as an actual pairing or having any canon potential until early s3 and why I don't believe they were planned from the beginning.This will be long and all over the place of course lol

The first and the most obvious reason is the way 911 deals with main characters and their romantic arcs.They don't actually drag it on for long because there is no need or time for that since every single main character has a strong storyline of their own and any romantic development between any pair as an additional combined storyline. Relationships happen fast on 911 because they are planned ahead and the only relationship that took longer than usual few episodes was Chim and Maddie and they were already kissing and planning a date in 2x11.

Also when shows enter their second season there is never a way to predict how long it will stay on the air and because of that it is impossible for me to believe that buddie was planned as some epic old school slowburn that is nowhere as close to be resolved after 3 seasons.When I say old school slowburn I mean shows that have this one heterosexual romance at the center of the universe that is usually stretched across seasons and builds up sexual tension between characters and it takes literally years for them to finally get together.We have these two characters that where made for each other and you KNOW that they will eventually get together because of some ridiculous pining that will eventually end in a kiss and everyone will scream and cry.And maybe that’s how buddie feels to me now after years of careful build up-but the way I see it they as a potential something didn't happen in s2.

We all joke about how character introduction of Eddie is the gayest we have ever seen and Buck's reaction to him as true bisexual and I do that myself too because I am a bisexual too and tbh its hard to unsee (also I don't want to) but lets remove our rainbow glasses for a second. What really did happened in that scene? Eddie's perfect abs on display,Chim and Hen fun comments on how beautiful he is,Bobby's praise and bragging about getting Eddie and his Silver Star on the team and Buck's insecurities flaring up as a reaction to all of this.Buck immediately feels threatened.At this point we of course have no idea how deeply his insecurities run or why,but as episode progresses we witness Eddie on his first call making a better decision to how to handle a medical situation and backed up by Bobby.It has sort of a devastating effect on Buck,who suddenly starts acting like we have never seen him before.Then there is a that scene at the gym where Buck tells Eddie how he is his problem. And later we of course have the scene in ambulance when Eddie asked what exactly they are measuring. Because that's what it looked like - a usual macho men measuring context. But the thing is 911 doesn’t toxic masculinity when it comes to main male characters and we saw many examples of that already by then,but the biggest one was supposed to be BuckandEddie. Equals,partners and best friends.

911 was already pushing boundaries with cast,characters and relationships diversity and I strongly believe that what they wanted to show us was a male equivalent of what we are used to see in female bffs -a different kind of a friendship between men. Men who care about each other,who talk about feelings,discuss sex,dating or why they don’t,who again openly acknowledge that they find each other attractive and giving advices on how to take a more flattering selfie,who are not afraid of crying, admit they are struggling or heartbroken or loving their kid.Honestly when was the last time any of us saw a male friendship like theirs?Men are not allowed to be like that on TV (I am still shocked that its a Fox show tbh) and especially with each other.We are not used to see such a development so no wonder people started paying attention-which was what writers wanted,of course.

But that also brings us to that important question about queer undertones,subtext and do what we actually see in s2. Are there queer undertones?Absolutely. Subtext?It’s right there but you will probably not get it unless you’re reading between the lines.Before we get to Christmas Elf,there was ‘’He is cute!/He gets that a lot,you should’ve seen his kid...’’ Maddie and Buck scene that is once again reinforces that Buck finds Eddie attractive and it shouldn’t be a surprise because we already know from 2x01 he has eyes - but they mention it AGAIN and that personally made me raise a brow or two.By the time we get to that Christmas episode,we already have Shannon back and Buck finally moved on from Abby with Taylor and then Ali and then we are given another queer coded scene-with Christmas elf.And its very cute and to an average heterosexual viewer its a nice little joke,but any queer watching that scene was probably taken aback a little.

So why imo did Tim&Co do it and when they realized they can actually see where they can take BuckandEddie and when they started becoming buddie?My answer is ship teasing.It’s what a lot of people actually mistake for queer baiting,but we are not talking about that rn.Ship teasing works like charm and if shows can get away with that-they will totally use it to their advantage.It’s usually not always malicious,but it IS always intentional because that brings in a category of people that were overlooked for a long time-online fandom.Now I have seen some opinions that fandom doesn’t really matter,it’s the ratings that count and that is NOT TRUE.You can have your ratings,but if there is no buzz online?Your show is going nowhere.For at least a decade now every self-respecting production has teams to monitor fandom activities because it gives them better ideas about how consumers(fans) are interacting with their product (show).Fandom is important because we generate the buzz.So I do believe that BuckandEddie and that sweet ship teasing were to get a certain part of the fandom pay attention.

I wasn’t here when S2 aired so I don’t know if that was the case,but it is obvious that these scenes I talked about above made fans pay a LOT of attention. And maybe that was the reaction writers needed to start changing course from ship teasing to start building up to something else.They maybe didn’t plan it at the very beginning and on paper,but lets also not forget the insane chemistry between Oilver and Ryan,which imo is another big reason-it's impossible to ignore.

Because S3?Is light years away from S2 in terms of BuckandEddie-they became buddie.In s3 Buck and Eddie become each other’s significant other,they are in a primary relationship. ’’Buck invites Eddie...’’?!!!!! It is not yet romantic and probably won’t be until ending of s5 if we are lucky-but it is in your face,they are not subtle anymore.I personally saw buddie only at the end of 3x03 when Eddie came over and said that there is noone in the world he trusts with his son more than Buck, looking like he did into Buck’s eyes,while ‘Photograph’ played in the background right before Buck’s overvoice about being seen and found and a raft to bring one home. After S4 ending tho...we all know that something is about to happen and its like there is electricity in the air as we are waiting for s5!

Probably a lot more thoughts than you expected,but I have many feelings about these two and when buddie goes canon this post will become completely irrelevant lol 💖 

[littlehollyleaf]

i hope Sylvie/Loki romance doesnt plan out. Cause in that case their True Love developed after a single episode, where they spend a few hours together? We go from a character that after 10+ years in the MCU had no romance/trouble being intimate in any way, to wanted to confess his epic soulmate love in their second episode. And where are all the ppl that usually want to uphold the sanctity of ~friendship cause not everything has to be gay/romantic/forced/ ruin what the show is really about etc

Yah. There are def Issues involved here. I have another couple of asks talking about it as well but haven't had enough time and/or mental energy to respond yet.

I always hesitate to bring up a short length of time as a problem for romance, cos I think my concept/preference of how long you need to experience it is... skewed :p (#ace problems, maybe?) So I can watch a couple interact for, like, a season, and STILL think them going on to be romantic is Too Soon, lol. But I'm heartened at the way others seem to agree with my feeling here - maybe I'm not so off base this time.

Plus there's the Extreme Extenuating Circumstances of Loki and Sylvie's brief relationship so far. Like, they were literally experiencing the end of the world together - that's gonna artificially heighten your emotions and/or confuse them, surely? So what might seem like romance in such an intense situation could easily turn out to be a different kind of affinity once you start experiencing life together in a more normal, longterm setting! ...but as I keep mumbling in the tags - I can't help but be sceptical that the show/writers/media are intending for such nuance.

The queer rep issues are a whole other thing, and part of what my other asks are about. Obviously, bi rep doesn't have to include explicit same sex romance. Loki/Sylvie is still queer, because the characters are still bi (or possibly pan?)... and yet, if it does become a full on romance, the way it's been done does still feel... suspect to me. Other people have written good, thoughtful meta on the ins and outs of that better and with more authority than me, though, so I won't try.

Anyways, as I've said before, I'm not ruling a Loki/Sylvie romance out, I might end up enjoying it... but ngl, for lots of different reasons now I'm really starting to root for a platonic bond between them... and it COULD still be true. We'll know soon enough.

[xcziel]

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

[aneshb25]

Disclaimer : giving it in the beginning coz this post has nothing to do with SOME OF THE TAGS (tho I am quiet involved with these tags) I have given, so some might find it irrelevent. I just wanted to spread it as much as I can. But please go through it! You will not be dissapointed.

My country, India, has gone through a lot of changes since September 6, 2018, before and after. On this day, Homosexuality was discriminalised in my country and I being a supporter and a citizen I guess it was my duty to post this.

Though it does not mean, my country was forever homophobic and suddenly all became liberal on and after 6th sept. No! Many citizens both famous or non famous has come out in open support of homosexuality! And what reached the public more is the media and movie-cinema-theatre! And I am so proud of it.

But somewhere in these movies the concept of 'Homosexuality portrayal' was just shown as slapstick-comedy in plots as extensive measure! Either thrown into the plot for a comedy relief with jokes or completely degrade them

But on the opposite side there are lot of other movies in various languages that have won national awards, forced us to cry buckets with tragic ending and goosebumps over powerful morals of the plots. Highly applauded👏

Still for me, I had always waited for movies with a homosexual couples getting their own happy ending. I understood it was not possible before 2018 as law forbade it and a movie is a mere reflection of the society. But after 2018, I defintely waited for it and then in 2020, this year, it came to me in the form of this👇👇👇👇

Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan!

Can't tell whether it has got a HAPPY ENDING or not, but what I can say is IT'S DIFFERENT

The upper picture is a poster where two Indian Grooms are going to get married on a horse-back ride with the parents below who are confused as hell!🤭 By the way, did you notice the triangle-tattoo on the left neck side of the man in jeans. It a gay symbol supporting homosexuality. Don't miss it!

But why is this different?

Different because it has got comedy, but not a slaptick, a very serious topic to be dealt with in Indian society but not with those heavy tragic themes shown in other previous movies. Because in this movie it is based around HOMOPHOBIA, how IT is a "disease" and that homosexuality is absolutely normal. The movie has a comedic approach with an emotional approach, showing how same it is with straight couple, also portraying a same-sex couple with a absolute adorable 💯 chemistry

Let me show you part by part!

1) Meet Kartik and Aman, a regular couple, and with a height difference for which my brain, my heart, my kidney, my whole body melts (okay that was too much, but see it yourself)

(And don't miss the heart eyes😍 Kartik gives when his other half is not looking #WhippedCulture)

2) Here Kartik is a very confident gay who wears pride flags as a superhero cape, well he IS a superhero for his Aman

Now this scene is important! Can you see the pigeon in front of him (sorry for the low quality, its screenshot I won't hide). In our country Pigeons, Doves, these birds are the SYMBOL OF FREEDOM... So here Kartik wears a Pride Flag🏳️‍🌈 proudly, and there are pigeons! 🤔 Understandable, right?

3) And between the comedies we find scenes we find these two fighting and so very sad when the love of their life is ALMOST going to get away! Devastating😭!

4) Now the directors also show here some great Indian Movies (that ruled over bollywood for decades) parallels! And the couples, gay or straight, are so similar

Now now, before you start quaking on SHADOWHUNTERS, I know its NOT a bollywood movie and no where near bollywood concept. Its just my addition!

Don't we all love Malec and their epic first kiss? Alec stepping down the altar, "enough"-ing his mother and kissed Magnus in front of the whole wedding! *dreamy eyes*

Well that sort of happened here too! Just Aman boldly kissing Kartik in front of the whole wedding. How can you not but relate? 😅

5) And we get see some great Kartik-Aman chemistry that puts my chemistry syllabus to shame, half of the other bollywood couples to go back home. They made a whole lesson out of chemistry, physics, maths, literature and bio

6) But for every subject there are exams and this case they are the PARENTS & FAMILY... Aman's family is hell bent to drive Kartik away but Kartik isn't ready to back down until He marries Aman....... But that doesn't mean he left out his family

Here Kartik tells how much he and Aman relates to the parents and their ACCEPTANCE is everything. If they have won over their parents, they have won over the world too.... It is also a message to the parents that their support means everything to their children

7) BONUS : The fun in Indian weddings is like no other. Dance, music, colour, clothes, families and guest, food, rituals, function *phew* thats BIG. Its big and fat!!! But its double the fun when its a BIG-FAT-GAY-INDIAN wedding and with a KISS😘

And I end it here with Thanking Kartik, played by Ayushmann Khurrana and Aman, played by Jitendra Kumar. Both are the powerful actors of the industry and TV sirieses who are so supprtive.. Ayushmann is the content king of bollywood, making movies on plots no one can even think of! And Jitendra, better know an "Jeetu-bhaiya" who rules the Indian TV siries.

Mention worthy GAJRAJ RAO, NEENA GUPTA, MANU RISHI CHADDA, SUNITA RAJWAR, MANVI GAGROO🙏🙏

(sorry Tumblr only allows 10 pics, so I can't upload the cast group photo)

But here is the link to the movie trailer , the movie releases on 21 Feb, 2020... Audience response is amazing and quiet unbelievable.. with more than 48M views in trailers and 5M views on songs in just 24 hours

So international, national viewers check the tralier with eng subs (you will probably get eng sub under Hindi captions😅lol) and laugh and mush and get soft watching it👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

And btw what will be the couple's SHIP NAME? Suggest now😊

Till then, TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS 🏳️‍🌈 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️🌈💐

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa

[tomorrowsdrama]

Updated Drama Finished/Drop/Watch list

So even though I haven’t been posting as much, I’ve still been watching quite a few dramas.  To be honest, I think I might have burnt out on binging. When every other day is spent watching a drama for long periods of time, it kind of becomes monotonous.  That’s probably the quarantine talking though.

Finished since my last drama update

Psychopath Diary - Love, love, love.  What a fun drama to watch.  The characters were so beyond dumb but that was the joke.  Yoon Shi Yoon and Park Sung Hoon had amazing chemistry and their serial killer/amnesiac-confused-wannabe-killer-but-not-really romance was hilarious to watch.

Hot Stove League - Loved this drama.  Didn’t really go in expecting much but was pleasantly surprised.  It’s written in a way where even if you’re not into baseball, it’s still interesting.  More than a sports drama, it’s an underdog/rag tag team kind of story.  Each week it was fun to see how Nam Goong Min would outmaneuver the bad guys with his brains.  There was no romance (even though they totally could have!) but still enjoyable.  Nam Goong Min continues his streak of picking good projects.

Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim 1/2 - I finished both seasons and I’m not entirely sure why lol.  This drama was nice enough and had some cute moments but didn’t leave much of an impression otherwise.  But somehow there was also something about it that compelled me to keep watching until I finished.  I guess that’s why both seasons had such high ratings.  If I had to pick which series to recommend, I’d probably pick the first season.  If you hate annoying hospital politics and unrealistic violations of proper medical procedures, stay away.  

Live Up to Your Name - Very cute and romantic with a side of sageuk.  Kim Nam Gil is hot.  Kim Ah Joong is hot.  Together they save people and have hot make outs.  I think this was the drama that kind of lightened up Kim Nam Gil’s image.  Before that he specialized in angsty characters who were usually set on revenge and/or died.  I kind of wish he’d go back to those roles from time to time.  Haha, predictable, I know.

Tell Me What You Saw - Watched this solely for Jang Hyuk.  It’s the first serial killer/procedural I’ve watch from OCN but from what I can tell, it follows the usual pattern of other OCN dramas of the like.  I’d describe this drama as just fine.  If gory scenes aren’t your thing, probably stay away from this drama.  Some of the murders in this drama were truly disturbing.

Hyena - First drama I ever recapped.  I was interested in this drama purely because of the Ju Ji Hoon/Kim Hye Soo pairing and I was not disappointed by their chemistry.  The story could have been improved and I would have liked more time spent on the relationship but overall, the flaws were not enough to detract from the good.  I need JJH and KHS to do a romantic drama on a cable network like TVN so we can get all the makeouts we deserve.  If you’re looking for a fast-paced fun drama and don’t care too much for plot, this is worth a watch.  Some people may find Geum Ja incredibly unlikable in the first four episodes but it gets better after that I promise!

Story of Minglan - Omg, where do I even begin about how good this drama is?  This was actually my second time watching this drama.  I think I finished all 73 episodes in 4-5 days (kids, don’t try this at home).  I can go on and on gushing about this drama.  Actually, I think I might have to do a separate post to properly talk about how much I loved this drama.  Anyway, if you like strong and smart heroines, period dramas, fully-fleshed out characters, and an otp completely devoted to each other with brains and brawn, this is for you.  It’s 73 episodes at 45 minutes each but I swear it still doesn’t feel like enough.

99.9 keiji senmon bengoshi - my first jdrama in yeaaaaaars and probably a decade since I’ve seen one starring matsujun. Fun, easy to watch, legal procedural with matsujun playing against type as a oddball attorney. Also, reunion of matsujun and eikura nana who last starred together in a movie about twins falling in love (wow the early 2000s were a wild time). I think I finished this in two days. If Japanese humor or recurring wacky side characters/gags isn’t your thing, probably skip this.

Dropped

Diary of a Prosecutor - This was fine but a bit too slice of life for my current tastes.  If humorous slice of life without much drama is your kind of thing, I’d recommend this.

Meow the Secret Boy - Dropped after episode 10.  Yes, I know what you’re thinking.  Why not just finish watching the last two episodes?  I didn’t drop this drama because I disliked it or anything.  I just felt like I didn’t need to continue watching.  When I first heard about the premise it squicked me out to be honest.  Cat?  As lover? Buh? I had no intentions of watching but then gifs for the first episode looked promising so I ended up watching it after all.  And it was cute and fluffy, with a touch of magical whimsy, which was what I needed at the time.  But as the episodes continued, it really didn’t go anywhere.  The characters were one-dimensional and story was as paint-by-the-numbers as you can get.  I hear that the webtoon it was based on was even less developed which...I don’t know how that could be possible.  Anyway, I peeked at the last 10 minutes of the final episode and well, that ending was a choice hahaha.  Still, I think this drama is harmless and dumb fun.  It’s not something you should take too seriously.  I mean, the cat literally turns into Kim Myungsoo.  

World of the Married - Oh boy.  Wow.  This drama.  Another drama I initially had no interest in after I read about the premise.  Another dark drama about cheating and divorce?  No thank you.  The world is grim enough as it is right now.  But then I saw posts about the drama on tumblr and it looked more makjang than grim.  Hey, sometimes makjang can be really fun to watch.  And the ratings were pretty high so I thought, there must be something entertaining about it?  So I watched the first 3 episodes fully and I admit, it was pretty addicting if not infuriating.  After episode 3, they really ramped up the infuriating parts of the cheating husband and his mistress so I watched a lot of episodes 4-7 on fast forward.  The over the top makjang was indeed fun.  But then it was at episode 7 that I realized the female lead was kind of a terrible character too.  She was just as obsessed with the husband as he was with her.  I read up on Doctor Foster, which is what the drama is based on, and seems like the husband and wife are just going to continue being terrible to each other.  Watch two terrible people obsessively try to ruin each other’s lives?  No thank you, I’ll save myself the heartburn.  It doesn’t help that every other post about this drama seems to be people being pissed at the characters hahaha.

Good Casting - I’m going to have to quit this after 4 episodes.  I tried since it seemed like a fun premise but I just couldn’t.  This is the third drama with Choi Kang Hee that I’ve had to quit and I think I just can’t gel with her acting style.  I know the tone is supposed to be hokey/comedic and they’re supposed to be bumbling on purpose.  However, my problem is that they’re just really, really, bad spies even when I think they’re not supposed to be.

Currently Watching

Ever Night - I have the last 11 episodes to finish and I’m kind of sad about it.  I know there’s a second season but it just doesn’t seem like the same drama.

When My Love Blooms - A lovely drama about second chance at love with the always great Lee Bo Young and my hot tall ahjussi crush Yoo Ji Tae.  It feels kind of like an old school jdrama in how quiet it is.  Might be too slow for some people though.  I can’t believe I dropped one drama about adultery just to unknowingly pick up another one hahaha.

Six Flying Dragons - I haven’t started yet but I will definitely start it soon!  Bang Won came to me in my dream so I think it’s time I finally watched this drama after putting it off for so long.

Will Probably Binge Later

The King: Eternal Monarch - Although I like the week to week excitement of watching an airing drama, I think I will probably enjoy this best by binging it.  People seem pretty divided about this drama but you know what?  Lee Min Ho’s hotness helped me make it through The Heirs so I have faith that it will help get me through this as well.  Some dramas you watch just so you can stare at hot people doing romantic things, ok?

Born Again -  The plot seems pretty convoluted so I think this will benefit from binging and fast forwarding.  @dangermousie seems to be enjoying it and our tastes align for the most part.  Plus, have you seen how hot Jang Ki Yong looks?  Unless the ending is completely horrible, I’ll probably binge this once it’s done.

The Untamed - I mean, gay epic wuxia love?  Count me in!  I’m trying to limit the number of dramas I watch so this will have to wait until I at least finish Ever Night.  

[eveninglottie]

30 questions

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs (lol absolutely not) you are contractually obligated to know better tagged by the ever wonderful @heysales

name/nickname: charlotte but I go by charlie on the Net

gender: female???

star sign: aquarius

height: 5′7″

birthday: 02/15

time: 12:30am

favorite bands: I mean I don’t have favorites as much as I have bands I find and listen to over and over again, right now that’s Nothing But Thieves and Sleeping with Sirens and a channel on yt called Cryo Chamber that does weird ambient mixes with titles like Songs for a Broken World and Dystopian Ambient and they have a series of videos with music for eldritch gods and Hastur is my faaaaaaave

favorite solo artists: evelynn from kda (don’t come for me)

song stuck in my head: right now it’s Unperson by Nothing But Thieves or Devil’s at Your Door by SWARM because of an animatic I saw about mollymauk and had to go walk around for a while because I Felt Things

last movie: just watched die hard with the fam

last show: the latest season of gbbo

when did i create this blog: 2015

what do i post: good question

last thing googled: I just looked up who forthright was because I saw their book on amazon and I wanted to see what fandom they wrote for 

other blogs: a lot but mostly to save titles I like sdkvjbad

do i get asks: I dooooooo and it’s always nice people telling me about my fic and I don’t deserve it truly

why i chose my url: I was originally eveningshadowrising (from the waste land I’m SO CULTURED) but I didn’t like it and I realized I had missed an amazing opportunity for chucklottie as a username but I didn’t want to confuse people by totally switching (which is also why I haven’t changed my icon in 5 years) so we get eveninglottie, which I do like because it sounds like “yes this is the evening version of charlie a chill version who is in pjs and drinking hot chocolate”

following: 132, which I should probably go through and cull because I keep seeing people pop on my dash like “I don’t want this”

followers: 988, which is hilarious to me because I have been in the 960s-980s for like two years, no kidding, despite the fact that I usually get a new follower once every week or two I don’t know what’s going on

average hours of sleep: 8 but it feels like 4

lucky number: 42. I’m basic.

instruments: a tiny violin for me tragic life

what am i wearing: a neon yellow nasa shirt from walmart and a flannel and leggings I’m very Streamer Chic rn

dream job: to write :/ but like, get paid to do it. or honestly at this point I would pay to be able to write again SO

dream trip: scotland and then I would never leave

favorite food: uuhhhhh idk...gnocchi?

nationality: american

favorite song: maybe Dante’s Prayer by Loreena McKennit? her music makes me cry

last book read: currently reading Vengeful by ve schwab but I’ve been reading it for three months because I no longer have the ability to do anything I once loved

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: UUGGGHHHH I’m gonna steal kel’s answer and say Howl’s Moving Castle, really just the ghibli extended universe WAIT NO I WOULD live as a borrower. I wanna live as a very small person. so either Epic or the Secret Life of Arietty slash that stuff, I was also about to say zootopia but I don’t like what that says about me so I won’t. idk why but the world from the web comic from eliza’s monsters. I still think about that book/world a lot. right now I’d like to be able to live in a universe that lets me write so maybe the sims so I could just sit at my desk all day and fill in the bubble over my head.

I tag @idrelle, @luzial, @esssteee, @salexectria, @swiftofhearts, and @evilbunnyking because I have no idea who else is active on here anymore skadvlhj

[toysoldiers-rwby]

[SYT] 6. the lofty lion

Show Your Teeth

Characters: Fiona, Winter, May, Robyn, Joanna Rating: Explicit (tagged as thoorist) Tags: loss of virginity, body worship, cock worship, edging, trans female character, confessions Word Count: 8,705

Summary: According to the movies, May was due for an epic love confession. She never could find a movie to relate too.

Read on Ao3

PREV - NEXT

A/N: starting moving to my new apt. Don’t know when i’ll have time to post this so here it is! will fix errors when i have time lol

 May told herself she was going to tell Winter today. After the usual ‘Accelerated Program’ debriefing, the group will go on another not-date stroll around Mantle and goof around until Glade told them where they trapped the Grimm.  

Everything went as planned. Fiona dragged them around her neighborhood. They found an empty park and jumped on the swings. May got to see and smile at Winter’s soft embarrassed blush as her adult teammates tried to do a full 360. She got Winter laughing softly when the pair of stopped at the apex and fell onto the bars. She got to hold Winter’s hand as security chased them out of the playground.  

Winter didn’t let go of her hand, as she fixed her hair and tried to hide the smile behind a fist. May couldn’t even breath at the sight. It’s been years since the women looked so relaxed and happy. Joanna only smiled at the pair, lifting Fiona onto her back and linking arms with Robyn as they went about to cause more mayhem. May should have told Winter then.  

They checked in on Glade who was slowly recovering and sleeping on the clinic’s couch. None of them had the courage to slip off those glasses and peek at their face. Fiona did produced a marker from her semblance. When she went to draw on their face a sudden headbutt had Fiona on the ground. Robyn and May screaming, practically climbing into their partner’s arms. Winter openly laughed.  

May could have confessed through a kiss. Wanted to right then and there. Instead May blushed, heart cowering and thundering in her chest as she tried to worm her way out of Winter’s grasp. The women sneered and adjusted her grip, holding May tight until she finished laughing. It was soft and gentle and confused Glade enough for Faunus wears to poke out from the sides of their head and swivel around. It was like May’s head and heart, confused and dizzy and May thought she could feel Winter’s chest beat in time with hers.  

Winter did admit she loved her back after all. 

Nothing would go wrong if May told her.  

Somehow Fiona managed to drag Glade to the movies with them. It involved flustering them with too much physical affection and playful headbutting until they were a little overwhelmed. The Thief was lil’ Fi’s prisoner for the night, trapped between Fiona and Robyn to make sure they didn’t slip away.  

May would confess her feelings before they went into the theater. The not-date night out would turn into a date night out and May would finally fucking kiss her.  

Instead May’s heart was in her throat. A nearly choking pressure as Winter stood comfortably at May’s side, talking with Glade about Dust while Robyn tried to wrestle Fiona into not stealing from the arcade machines. May would tell Winter after the fifth pointed look Joanna would give but Winter didn’t talk much.  

The Schnee commanded, gave advice and lessons. Her tone was always above others, either as a leader in the public eye, a parental figure to her siblings and even a challenger to May and their friends. But with Glade, Winter’s voice was non of the above. It was cautious and curious as they talked about Dust. It was a voice May rarely hears so she didn’t chicken out of confessing, she enjoyed the moment and listened. Until Glade and Winter both gently prodded May into joining the conversation.  

Gentle prods turned into teasing May tried to match their bite. Far too soon Joanna dragged Glade away. Winter pressed into May’s side, shoulder to shoulder and whispering taunts Fiona and Glade could hear. May played along, waiting till her nerves and irrational fear calmed down.  

She’ll tell Winter after the movie…  

Or after they made sure Glade was on Robyn’s couch to rest instead of Grimm wrangling. Their ears flicked nervously and they loosely hugged the Spring the toy lion. “Did… did you guys just kidnapped me?” They mumbled  

“Is it possible to kidnap a stray?” Winter teased slipping into Robyn’s room to change. May followed before her nervous could stop her. She gently closed the door and… Stood there. Fiona was loud, excited and teasing her fellow Faunus but Winter’s calm breathing was easier to hear. Easier to focus on as Winter slipped the tie and shirt.  

In the movies Fiona likes, this would be the scene where the hero finally confess.  

Instead May’s mind stopped, eyes lingering on the bra that slipped to the floor and then mesmerizing the planes of Winter’s back, the flexing shoulders and arms as she slipped on a looser bralette for the night. Up to her neck and lips as Winter turned and smiled at May.  

“You are such a bottom.”  

“I… f-fuck off,” May stammered eyes wide. She tried to be polite and keep her eyes on Winter’s face but it was getting harder as she walked towards her. Harder when those hands slipped the belt loose and hips wiggled her pants down.  

She knows. It’s so fucking obvious but every confession May tried to force out just choked in her throat. Frustration started to prick at her eyes. May tried blinking away the tears and saw a Winter’s hurt expression for a moment. The Schnee almost stepped away but May grabbed her.  

She had no plan, she just wanted Winter close. Wanted the smile back. Winter braced herself against the door, hugging May tight to her body. If this was a movie they would kiss. May wanted too and now that she knew Winter liked her back it was so obvious that Winter wanted to kiss her too.  

Instead Winter took a deep breath, gently pushing May against the door. May blinked away the frustrated tears but more swelled up as Winter’s hand slide from her back to her ribs, over her chest and slowly up May’s neck. Her thumb brushed May’s lips. The Marigold would have whimpered if her breath wasn’t stuttering.  

“You always sucked with words,” Winter mused lightly. May frowned, grumbling and looking away. Winter laughed softly resting their foreheads together. Still she didn’t kiss close the few inches, those blue eyes didn’t move from May’s lips. “I think you’ll taste better if I have you wait a little longer.”  

“S-seriously!?” May weakly growled.  

“You want it so bad? Take it,” Winter said, lifting her fingers off May’s lips and cheek to grab at May’s tie. She even encouraged her partner with a light tug but May was frozen. Shaking. She felt too hot against Winter’s cool skin. Winter waited for a minute, getting comfortable and enjoying how May’s beating heart made her tremble. “Good girl.”  

“Cheating,” May said with a gasp. With two words all the heat fluttering in her chest shot low. May tensed, the romantic frustration slowly draining as as she fought the lower fire in her gut.  

“Sorry,” Winter said with a mocking smile. A hand was on May’s check again, first pressed against her lips then swiping the tears that slipped past. “I… I don’t know if I liked you as long as you liked me but I want to do this right.”  

“Because making me cry from frustration is a good start,” May grumbled.  

Winter blinked, surprised. She then tucked her head into May’s neck and laughed softly. May leaned her head, opening up and letting the Schnee cuddling into her. May’s arms finally felt light enough to move but felt heavy as she wrapped it around Winter’s neck. Her partner gave a content sigh, soft laughter turning into a gentle chuckle.  

“Just for that you don’t get a kiss until, after our first date.” Winter said.  

“How does tonight- fucking today not count as a date?!”  

“Because I didn’t ask you out yet,” Winter teased. May was about to yell, face now burning more frustration but calmed the instant Winter’s lips pressed against her pinched brow. “Give me a little more time, I want you for myself for a day and because of… some people it’s a little hard.”  

“It doesn’t need to be fucking perfect!” Fiona screamed through the door. May screamed a little, jumping in Winter’s arms. She blinked, surprise fading to angry realization.  

“Where you assholes listening!?” May yelled through the door.  

There was a pause and feet scrambling, shadows moving under the door. “No!”  

May wiggled free from Winter’s hold, ignoring Winter’s pout and grumpy face as May threw the door open. She had too much energy and if Winter wasn’t gonna burn it off with a lot of kisses then revenge will have to do. Fiona only stuck her tongue out from behind Joanna and Glade.  

“Wait till I get my hands on you, you little shit!”  

By the time Winter finished changing Fiona had pinned May to the ground. May didn’t miss the grins Joanna and Robyn was giving her partner. Instead she tagged Glade in to the wrestling match and was surprised when the Thief and Fiona was nearly tied on the ground. For a moment Glade was winning until they favored their side and Fiona scrambled to get off them.  

The following morning they were late to their debriefing and got their ears chewed off but May barely stop herself from grinning. She felt lighter, the pressure of actually stating the obvious off her chest. It still took a few days for her nerves to calm down but even a week after it was obvious she was on cloud nine.  

During the ‘Accelerated’ student’s combative training Marrow paused during their spar. He frowned, tail twitching. “Did your uncle die or something? You’ve been… in a scary good mood lately.” Across the training room, May heard Fiona snickered. She glared at her teammate, but the Faunus was busy dogging Harriet and swinging a sledgehammer into the senior’s gut.  

“Just… good news,” May said with a shrug. She tapped her staff on her shoulder before activating her semblance. She watched Marrow jump and look around, trying to guess where she’d appear next. Instead she took the time to watch Winter and Robyn.  

Winter was good but no one expected Robyn to be better. At least against other humans. She trained to take down humans without a protective Aura. She was used to holding back but against Winter she shoot those explosive bolts at that pretty face and just leave her stunned. Those sharp blades on her wrist mounted crossbow didn’t slice open skin but slowly at at Winter’s low Aura.  

It would have been match if May hadn’t jumped in staff crackling with lightning Dust. Robyn gasped, throwing herself back to avoid it. Winter blinked surprised. May only winked at her and disappeared again before one of the instructors spotted her. May was grinning when she reappeared in front of Marrow, feet kicking him in the chest.  

“Ow! See, that’s what I mean!” Marrow grumbled. May only rolled her eyes and sneered, twisting the Dust chamber in her staff and activating the fire Dust.  

The sparring session ended with the usual outcomes. Marrow just a little burnt, Harriet pulling tricking Fiona and winning, Elm and Joanna was now tied, Clover’s stupid semblance gave him the upper hand against Vine. Finally Winter and Robyn… was the same as last week and the weeks before.  

With Winter sprawled on the ground and Robyn sitting on top of her, victorious.  

Fiona grinned into May’s line of sight. May scoffed and turned away with a light blush. They looked good together but right now May wanted Winter for herself.  

Robyn laughed and helped Winter up, “And here I thought you were the knight, snowflake,” She teased with a wink. Winter rolled her eyes trying to roll a kink out of her shoulder.  

“And here I thought you were above cheap shots,” Winter replied, not mumble or pout. The Schnee was too dignified for that.  

“I prefer the term ‘trickshot’, thank you very much,” Robyn said with a haughty scoff and lead the group to the showers.  

May frowned for a moment, trailing behind the Mantle Rats with Winter. She kept rubbing her neck and rolling her shoulder. “You okay? I do owe you a massage.”  

“Sounds like a good way to end a date,” Winter said with a small smirk. May’s eyes went wide, a blush quickly crawling over her cheeks as Winter finally asked, “Mantle has that carnival today. Would you like to go out?”  

“Yes!” Fiona screamed.  

Winter clicked her jaw shut, an angry blush dusting her pale cheeks while May shuffled a little embarrassed. Those Faunus ears has been particularly… sensitive lately. The pair had a hard time glaring at Fiona as she prounced back to her elites.  

“This was suppose to be just me and May, Thyme,” Winter said. Her voice was a little hard and Fiona’s cute ears twitched low and sad. “Damn it… You idiots have been on my ass and when I finally ask May out you all think it’s another group date.”  

“Oh! Ooh!” Fiona said with a slow gasp of realization. Fiona nervously twitched, embarrassed.  

“Don’t worry, lambchop,” Robyn said. It seemed she was coming to Fiona’s rescue but then she leaned with with a smirk, “Me and Joanna will take you on a date.”  

“It- It doesn’t need to be date!” Fiona huffed, shoving Robyn back who only rolled with it and laughed.  

“Call it whatever you idiots want but I doubt it’ll be any different from a normal day,” Joanna said with a laughed. She got behind the couples and gave them a light shove forward. “Come on! No one is going on a date all gross and if we all shower at Robyn’s place the water will get cold.”  

“This is not a double date!” Winter stressed with a hard blush.  

“Oh please, May can give you all the privacy you need,” Robyn teased, wiggling her eyes brows. At first May only raised a brow. Then she gasped, face burning as images of herself between Winter’s legs and her hand through May’s hair while a crowd of people walked, oblivious- “Wow… your kinda innocent aren’t you?”  

“Shut up!”  

May’s mind instantly went into overdrive, body on autopilot as she undress and showered. She thought about all the outfits in her closet and the ones left at Robyn’s place. A dress was out of the question if they were going on some rides- would they be going on some rides? Does a Mantle carnival even have rides? May should definitely avoid white, the stains would be near impossible to get out but anything too color full would clash with Winter’s wardrobe.  

Winter didn’t wear anything fancy though. In fact after the shower in the locker rooms and after changing into into the usual Atlas uniform, Winter dragged her back to Mantle. Robyn and Joanna blew wolf whistles at them, a blushing lamb swatting the former cops.  

At the carnival entrance Winter pulled their ties off, shoving it into a trash can and then tossed the gray vest next. May blinked surprised. Winter rolled her eyes, unbuttoning her cuffs and undoing the top two buttons of her shirt.  

Then the Marigold crossed her arms and smiled, watching her picture perfect date muss herself up into something casual, "What happen to doing this right?"  

“You’re smiling and not a nervous wreck,” Winter pointed out. May quickly turned her head away with a blush. When did her angry facade completely disappear? Winter hands gently on May’s chest as she unbutton the vest a little to be much more comfortable. “Would you like to keep the skirt or change into pants?”  

“The um… the skirts fine,” May mumbled. May’s heart skipped a few beats every time Winter’s skinned bushed against hers. It nearly gave out when Winter undid May’s cuffs and folded them up her arms a little. Her heart completely stopped when Winter held her hand and pressed her lips to her knuckles. Light and quick, a sharp contrast to the lingering and intense blue eyes staring at her.  

Before May could feint Winter grinned, something wicked and endearing, and pulled her into Mantle’s Carnival. Right towards the biggest, fastest ride on hard-light rails.  

“You’ve been on roller coasters before, right princess?” Winter taunted with a raised brow.  

May scoffed but it didn’t come out as strong as usual, “I should be asking you that. When do you have time for fun?” she said with the same playful bite.  

Joanna was… right. It wasn’t much different from a normal day minus the fear and anxiety of having to confess. The ride helped May scream out her nerves and burned excess energy that rolled over into anxiety. She laughed linking her arms with Winter as they hurried over to the next ride.  

After each ride, their linked arms slide lower and lower until Winter’s hand was comfortably in hers. Winter smiling and tilting her head down to let May tidy her hair a little. It took a few tries to brush Winter’s signature fringe back together and by the end of of May was staring at Winter’s lips. Until they curled into a teasing smirk, pointedly leaning back.  

May growled, face hot with a mix of frustration and anger and she nearly ripped the shirt open. All that was forgotten as the next ride slowly crawled up the hard-light rails. May’s anger burned away with a scream, heart lurching between her gut and throat as the ride whipped them around. In between it all she got to hear Winter’s laugh in her ears.  

By the time the Mantle Rats finally got into the carnival the place was packed and the lines were long, but because this was Atlas, military personal and students, had free access to the VIP line. Winter spotted the trio first, the cheater having a few inches over May. Still Fiona was easy to find, atop of Joanna’s shoulders and sometimes leaning down to give Robyn a kiss. They were adorable, picture perfect cute.  

So May pulled out her Scroll and sent the picture to the group chat. She pulled Winter to a corner and they watched as Fiona perked up, eyes scanning for white and blue hair. Winter and May giggled as Fiona kicked her feet and wiggled her ears in frustration. Robyn reached up, pulling Fiona into a calming kiss and then dragging them onto a ride.  

Winter continued to take secret pictures whenever they’d see the trio by chance. Finally fed up, Fiona dragged the other Mantle Rats to the Farris Wheel to try and find them. Winter and May giggled, ducking into the large tent housing the games.  

At first it was a small competition. Then it became a losing streak as Winter cheated her way to victory for every game. Then cheating became the game and May wrapped her arms around Winter’s waist, tucking her head into her shoulder to muffle her laughter.  

Winter’s small Beowolf summon would appear whenever the carnival worker wasn’t looking, pushing the ball into the hole or kicking a pin. Children would gasp and clap their hands adorably and Winter would give them the prizes and wink. They were a little younger than Whitely.  

“You two are too adorable,” Robyn said. Winter’s relaxed smile slipped into a small playful huff as she looked up at the others. Fiona was finally walking on her own two feet with Joanna’s arm draped across her shoulders. Robyn had that stupid cute grin. May didn’t know if she wanted to slap it off or watch Fiona kiss it off.  

“Oh! I wanna be romantic and steal May for myself,” Fiona taunted and sang, striking romantic poses like in those movies they watch sometimes. May blushed and decided that slapping both of them would be better. Fiona only laughed at their faces, “Then she spends the night taking pictures of us and baiting us around.”  

“May started it,” Winter said quickly.  

“How mature,” Joanna sneered. She rested her arm heavily across May and Winter’s shoulder, guiding them out of hiding and to the food stands. May sighed and rolled her eyes. Even on an official and proper date it felt like a normal day.  

“At least have dinner with us! I’ll show you the best food in the carnival,” Fiona said with a grin, grabbing Winter and May’s free hands and tugging them faster along. May and Winter gave each other a defeated look. Their lil’ lamb was too cute. They both dramatically sigh and acted reluctant, making Fiona blush and hear ears twitch nervously.  

Fiona didn’t take them to dinner, she dragged the group to an Argus crepe booth. It was delicious, filling enough to stave off hunger for a real meal and they should be safe enough for another ride as long as it wasn’t extreme. But instead of turning the date into a double date May noticed Winter rolled her shoulder, face twitching in pain.  

May did owe her a massage…  

“Actually I think we’ll head back,” May said. Fiona frowned and pouted. May smiled down at her, rubbing the base of those fluffy ears. It always made Fiona smile, “It the weekend tomorrow, we can ride all day if you want.”  

“Phrasing,” Robyn said with a cough. Fiona and May glared at her, a hard blush on both of them but Fiona was the only one that actually elbowed Robyn.  

The walk to Robyn’s apartment was slow but May didn’t notice the time. Only the smile and Winter’s unguarded voice as they chatted without a goal. A review of the past month, reassurance about Weiss and Silvio, speculations about Fiona’s crush on the pair. Her hair was a mess, out of that tight bun and in a loose ponytail, her cheeks were a little rosy from all the laughing and smiling. The pristine white shirt actually a little dirtied from all the rides and kicked up dirt.  

“You look better like this…” May said softly as Winter sat down on Robyn’s bed. She raised a brow a smile slowly crawling across her face as May stepped between her legs. If this was earlier in the day May’s anxiety would have killed her. She wouldn’t be able to slide her hands up Winter’s chest. They would be shaking as she applied a gentle and firm pressure around the back of Winter’s neck.  

The Schnee’s breath hitched, body shuttering as all the tense muscles twitched and relaxed under May’s fingers.  

“You look better happy,” May explained. Winter blinked, trying to focus but her eyes kept lingering on May’s lips. “Alive, actually enjoying yourself with other people instead of on that stupid Schnee pedestal.”  

“Good,” Winter said. For once her voice was the one weak and trembling. May smirked, settling against Winter’s body. The white knight only had her hands on May’s waist like she was a cherished maiden. Even as May undid the ponytail and reach brush of her hands drew soft moans from her.  

For a moment May remembered that just hours before the mere thought of this would send her into overdrive. Hours of screaming and laughing, the fear she had twisting her gut was gone. Fear and a pressure she didn’t realize was on her chest. But right now… May smiled and enjoyed it.  

The warmth their families never gave. Trust and intertwining history so deep it was almost protective.  

Her body moved without second guessing everything and her lips was soft against Winter. After years of crushing on her family rival, childhood friend and partner… it felt natural. It wasn’t wasn’t like the movies, books, her first kiss or whatever bullshit people like to say.  

It wasn’t an explosion of fireworks.  

It was warm and slow, her lips following Winters as she pushed and pulled. May’s mind wasn’t racing, her heart wasn’t trying to escape her chest and run. It was… calming. Devouring. Like Winter herself, the kiss was cool on the surface, the bite on May’s bottom lip was gentle and teasing. Once she opened up she beyond warm.  

Hot didn’t even begin to describe it. Intense and passionate fell short.  

It just felt like Winter.  

May moaned into the kiss, her tongue gliding against Winter. Cold, hot, too much but not enough. May’s body felt hazy and heavy, her heart and head somewhere on cloud nine as she pressed Winter’s back into Robyn’s bed. May pulled back, softly panting for air. She pressed into Winter’s tense neck again, harder than before. Winter’s back arched a low groan and face slightly twisting in pain had May laughing a little.  

“I owe you a massage remember?” May asked, getting up and closing Robyn’s door.  

“Finally paying me back over a month later. Typical Marigold,” Winter teased. May rolled her eyes instructing Winter to take off her shirt and pants, if she wanted a full body massage. May looked around for some lotion. The first draw on Robyn’s nightstand was locked. The second was ammo for a gun and the last was… very Robyn.  

A small boxes of condoms for various of sizes for the toys that laid neatly next to it. The harness was suspiciously missing. And of course there was edible oils and lube-  

Only then the high of the date sparked into embers low In May’s gut. She tried to smother it, glancing at Winter’s bare back and nearly bare ass.  

Now wa a perfect time for revenge for the changing room. May was not easy, even if Winter made her come with just looks alone. But- but may must have been thinking to loud because Winter turned her hears towards her a smiled. She was blushing a little hard, “I’m fine with whatever pace you want to go at,” She said settling back down.  

May tensed, abs flexing as her member throbbed once but hard. Winter’s eyes glanced down to the small tent in her skirt and she tried to hide the smile in the pillows. May blushed hard, grabbing the edible oil and shoving a few more pillows under Winter’s stomach and hips so her spine wouldn’t be completely fucked.  

She moved quickly, standing next to Winter’s head and warming the oil in her hands. She tried to keep her thoughts chaste but that quickly went out the window as Winter tensed for a second and let out a low groan. May’s hands faltered a little, entire body shaking as the sound hit deep between her legs.  

Bits of her dreams and daydreams ghosted over her skin. Her body didn’t feel as cool as May thought it would. It flexed, blood running hot under May’s touch. After one long and deep stroke along Winter’s spine, the Schnee melted a little into the pillows and bed with a happy and pleased moan. May took a quick breath, trying to ride the innocent high from the carnival as other parts of her got harder.  

May tried not to focus on it… Then she scratched that thought, realization and the rush of their first date and kiss calming her fears. I’m fine with whatever pace you want to go at. Winter Schnee could be a rough lover the women choked Robyn in a changing room while Fiona fucked her. May trembled, as the memory of Winter pinning her with her eyes came back. Joanna’s hot hands pinning her hips and finally Winter’s own fingers grazing the tip of her leaking head. Winter’s eyes staring right into her as she licked her cum off her fingers. May groaned shaking her self back to the present.  

I loved her since I could remember.  

Loved her enough to sooth her nerves and make sure May was truly comfortable before kissing her.  

The embers low in her gut didn’t feel sinful or tainted. In fact it felt rather holy.  

“Always the knight,” May whispered. Winter looked up, a surprised blush on her face at the low and hungry tone in her voice. May didn’t even realize she was speaking until the next words spilled out. “Always with the restraint and control…” With purpose May’s palms firmly pressed into the base of Winter’s neck. She tore a moan from Winter’s throat with a gentle pressure on tense muscles. The sound throbbed painfully between her legs, panties tight and slowly growing slick.  

May doubted she’ll ever see Winter lose control but getting her close would be fun.  

Winter made another noise as her girlfriend’s thumb dug into the muscles between her ass and lower back. Winter’s hips subtly grind into the pillow and bed. May felt it more than she saw it. Her dick throbbed, imagining the hot pressure sidling gently over her shaft. May took another slow breath, a rush hungry rush of power throwing completely fogging over her fears and nerves. “I’m not sorry for enjoying this,” She heard herself say.  

Winter growled softly but with another stoke down her back it choked into another whimper and an empty threat, “Don’t bite off more than you can handle, May.”  

"Shut up and let me worship you," May said, the words surprisingly hard as her hands squeezed the back of Winter’s neck. Winter gasp and did just as May ordered. Fist clenching the sheets and a quivering moan spilling out. May let the sound roll through her core and down between her legs, groaning with her. More slick smearing on her head as she moved to continue the slow massage. Winter’s face was right there… Blue eyes on the bulge of her skirt but her lips were too far to do anything.  

It felt like a trance watched the women she loved that was so forcibly perfect and put together fall apart. Sculpted hard muscles loosen, gasp slipped into small moans. Each pass over Winter’s spine made her tremble. The knot in her shoulder had her biting the pillows and wiggling until it was gone. But she was wasn’t worked up enough, the grinding on Robyn’s pillow obvious now but not desperate enough. She was still too controlled, so May focused on her neck.  

Winter gasped, eyes fluttering close. Cool skin was starting to warm under the attention and oil, blushing softly. The soft moans turned into pleased and sleepy hums. The tension was completely gone from her shoulders, making the women she loved look smaller somehow.  

At least until May transitioned to Winter’s lower body. She leaned over her, propping a knee by Winter’s shoulder to get the right pressure. Hands splayed wide, May pressed at the base of her spin and pushed low, thumbs digging under the dimples on her back and rolling lower to the swell of her ass.  

Winter whimpered, body shivering slightly as May’s fingers slipped under those panties. When her hands glided out towards her hips Winter growled in frustration, a fist clutching at May’s skirt so near the bulge May bucked her hips a little.  

“Relax, Win.”  

“I’d relax a lot more if you’ll let me suck you off,” Winter mumbled as she let go. May only laughed. It was a little shaky as her member leaked more pre-cum, and the feeling of it wetting her panties didn’t help.  

May straddled Winter’s lower back and licked her lips. She warmed a little more oil in her hands before adjusting Winter’s panties a give May more room to work with. She might have pulled the wet cloth tight against the core and Winter might have shivered at the pleasure. The selfish Schnee was definitely a little restless, shifting as May’s hands started on the swell of Winter’s ass and rolled down the back of her legs.  

Winter tensed for a moment. May repeated the massage, applying a little more pressure into the tense muscles, feeling it quiver so slightly. Winter melted again and groaned. Slowly she relaxed. And slowly May’s hands wandered higher inside Winter’s thigh.  

High enough to feel the heat and wetness that escaped onto her thighs. May swallowed hard, cock throbbing between her legs. Winter must have felt it too because she growled and shifted a little. She took a shaking breath, hands losing their focus and just kneading Winter’s ass. For a moment May grind down, imagining her shaft disappearing between the soft muscles in her hands.  

When her grinding started to become a little too desperate, May forced herself off. Leaving a small droplets of pre-cum on Winter’s slower back.  

Trying to regain some self control, May returned to Winter’s head, her hands starting at her neck and working down again.  

“Lower,” Winter instructed. Her voice was low and husky, almost half asleep but the blue eyes on her restraint and covered hard on gave her away. With her hands spread wide May started at the edge of Winter’s wide back. Fingers following the curve of her breast, just shy of her nipples.  

The Schnee whimpered, shifting with just a hint of desperation. Her pale hand fisted May’s skirt. The light clawing had May’s heart jumping, chest stuttering for breath. May watched Winter observe the tent in her skirt, the throbbing… Winter licked her lips but that damn control kept her from doing what they both wanted.  

May repeated the motion a few times. Wondering who’s will would break first. Each time, Winter shuttered with pleasure, first bunching up the skirt and inching closer and closer to May’s leaking member. She was sure her panties were dripping just as much as Winter’s. Another pass and the selfish Schnee almost tugged the skirt off-  

“Ma-May…” She begged. Winter-fucking-Schnee begged, her voice high pitched and hopeful.  

“Fuck-” Her breath caught in her throat. You are so easy. “Fuck,” May cried again. With one breath May’s hour of hard work and control broke. Her hands completely slipped around to Winter’s front, oil slick hands kneading her once. Winter cried out, pressing her chest into May’s hands. Another call of May’s name as fingers pinched her nipples. Winter grind down on the pillow, other hand clawing into the back of May’s thigh to anchor her self. Winter’s grinding stopped and that hand on her thigh quickly slid up, under her skirt-  

A moan was pulled out of her as hands finally cupped her throbbing slick shaft. It took May an hour to get Winter to whisper her name but she was about to say Winter’s like a prayer in less than a minute. The only reason she wasn’t was because Winter didn’t move her hand.  

The Schnee paused eyes up at May in wonder and desire and love that somehow looked far too wicked. Winter’s hand slipped off her, May would have whimpered at the lose but then her panties snapped. But her dick wasn’t free, it was back in Winter’s fist and May nearly screamed. Too hot and too cold and not tight enough. May clenched her jaw, head dizzy with a rush of pleasure.  

Then May was on her back in the middle of Robyn’s bed, hands pressed firmly on her mouth to muffle any noise but her harsh breathing. May felt like she was burning in Winter’s cool skin. The contrast was delicious, making her thigh shake slightly as hips moved. May cried into her open hand. Winter’s fist moved with her, giving but the tiniest teasing friction.  

“How your refractory period?” Winter asked, voice stupidly cool and control for someone with eyes that was devouring. May didn’t answer at first. She tried again and again to thrust into Winter’s hand. She didn’t want to answer, she wanted pleasure, her head an angry red as pre-cum slipped out. May gently thrash in a haze, not fighting or helping Winter as she undid the buttons of her vest and shirt just enough to slip a hand under May’s bra. It wasn’t the pleasure she was begging for but it was enough to calm the fire in her gut and head.  

“I- I don’t know!” May answered honestly.  

“You don’t know? How can you… You’re a virgin.” Winter realized, eyes a little wide and grip a tightening. May was confident in her body, proud but… sex was never an itch for her, not like Winter and Fiona. It was a craving only one person could fill and that person was just a big fucking tease that was going to make her cry from frustration soon. The pressure in her gut and balls, and cock was almost painful. It was spreading all over her body and sending her into a craze.  

“Oh… Oh, May. If, I’d known,” Finally Winter’s fist started to move. A tight tug up had May gasp for breath. A twist at her head, a fucking tight and hot twist at her head had May completely breathless with one sharp cry. “I wouldn’t have teased you so hard in the changing room.”  

“Shut up and make it up to me then,” May said with a clench jaw, hips fast and desperate. Winter hummed in thought but didn’t slow her hand. It kept a lazy pace as Winter finished unbuttoning May’s top and flicked the front clasp of her bra open.  

“I’m debating on how hard I want you begging.”  

“You are such an asshole…” May huffed. Winter only laughed as tears finally fell from May’s eyes. Winter made her self comfortable at May’s side, kissing the tears away before gently claiming her lips. May groaned and growled into it. She bit her bottom lip, desperate for more heated and faster affection. But Winter’s hand continued to lazily stroke her, forcing May’s hips to move.  

A shock of pleasure spread from her chest, Winter’s fingers pinching and twisting a nipple. “Sorry May, but I’m going to break you in the most gentle way I can,” her knight promised. May was about to bite her neck, frustration turning into plain anger but then Winter’s lips claimed her in demanding kiss, swallowing a near scream of pleasure as Winter’s hand finally moved. Hard and fast, almost vicious but May wanted more.  

May’s hands clawed deep into Winter’s back, hips stuttering and rolling, trying to match Winter’s pace but it was faster than May could manage. Pleasure coiled in her gut, climbing quick and making her body tremble. Winter moved from her lip to her neck. Biting hard enough for her Aura to flare. A flash of heat spreading throughout May’s body, pleasure turning everything white for a second.  

May found herself begging and whispering Winter’s name. Her member was twitching, pre-cum leaking out in a steady stream. Tears pricked her eyes as the hight of her pleasure was suddenly taken from her.  

“Please… Winter, please!”  

“Aura,” Winter growled into her neck. She bite again, making her Aura flash hot and making May’s entire body pulsed. Her dick throbbed and twitched, the need for something around it making her head spin and more tears slip out. “Turn off your Aura.”  

“I-I can’t… please just,” May’s hips fucked the air. Winter groaned, watching her shaft twitch. She bit down May’s body but stopped at her breast. May softly cried, her own hands moving to continue but Winter pinned her wrist down. She thrashed lightly, chest arching into Winter’s mouth as she bite and sucked and teased.  

The edges of an orgasm eased off, May’s breathing just started to even out when her Aura flashed across her body. Turning off. Winter groaned, teeth sinking into her chest and sucking hard. “Good girl,” Winter praised, hand tight around the base of May’s cock. May threw her head back, a fast pace stealing her breath again.  

May whispered Winter’s name, begging for her hand to move faster but ever time she got too desperate Winter only slowed down. The selfish Schnee left love bites and marks across May’s chest. Then her soft abs. When Winter bit at her hips May’s hips stuttered to a stop. Her eyes wide as she propped herself up to watch.  

Winter smiled up at her, making herself comfortable between May’s legs and even grabbing a pillow to slide under her partners ass. It was clear Winter intended to be there long enough to kill May.  

“A small confession,” Winter said licking her lips. “Me and the others… all of them talked about your…”  

“Dick, penis, cock, whatever is fine,” May mumbled in a haze. Her heart did odd skips, fear and nerves coming back. She knew Winter for years, everything about her partner was second nature but Joanna and Robyn… The anxiety was pulled out of May, with a twisting pressure of Winter’s fist over her head and slit. May moaned, arching and hips thrusting to chase that pleasure. “S-surprised I’m not cut?”  

“It’s a good surprise,” Winter whispered. May gasped, hand covering her mouth as Winter decided to play. Her thumb pressed against the rim of her head, tongue twirling around the slit, slowly working under the foreskin-  

Lightning hot pleasure shot through May’s body, completely overwhelming her. Suddenly everything before felt muted. Her tongue was twice as soft, twice as warm. Winter had her at tears before and now she was freely crying. Winter pulled off with a pleased hum.  

“So we were right… You are more sensitive…” Winter murmured. It sounded distant to May’s ears. Her heart beat too loud, pleasure clouding all her senses except for touch. The cool fingers claws warm trails down May’s stomach, the hands massaging her balls as Winter’s tongue followed a vein down and licked pre-cum back up.  

May wasn’t even aware when Winter finally wrapped her lips around May’s hard shaft and started sucking. She came back to Winter groaning around her cock, the vibrations prolonging her orgasm as she slipped deep into Winter’s throat again. Her throat felt rough, just barely hearing herself scream Winter’s name. When she tried to pull her hand free from Winter’s hair she held it there with her free and pointedly swallow.  

May whimpered, thrusting deeper as she felt another load pulled from her. Winter finally lifted herself off May, taking a deep breath and clearing her throat a little. With one last lick and a some sucking she cleaned May off and hovered over her with a smile clean smile.  

“Welcome back,” She mused, wiping her mouth with her fingers and licking it clean. May groaned at the sight, her hard member throbbing painfully. She grabbed Winter’s hand when it wandered through her soft mound. Winter settled against her. Thighs and panties wet, leaving a hot trail on May’s leg. She shifted at the friction but didn’t chase it. Though May could feel her desperation in the hard kiss. She didn’t give a fuck about how she tasted, it was Winter. “You… are back, right?” She muttered softly, eyes a little concerned.  

“If back you mean still in heaven, sure,” May mumbled, voice slurred with pleasure. She pressed her leg into Winter’s core, listening and eating up her soft moan and the way she anchored herself with her nails. May grabbed Winter’s ass, slowly encouraging her to grind against her thigh. May hooked her thumbs under Winter’s waistband and slipped them down during the next thrust.  

Winter pulled back letting out a sharp and shock cry of pleasure her wet lips and hard clit glided down May’s thigh. Suddenly that hunger in her gut was back, drying out her mouth. May’s lazy breathing speed up, soft noises of her own muffled by Winter’s desperate whimpers.  

“Winter… please. I’m not done worshiping you,” May begged, the hands on her ass and hips trying to guide the women up. Up past her hips, past her breast and guiding those toned wet thighs to the side of her head. May melted at the sight. Her perfect partner completely flushed above her. Her pale skin a rosy pink from ears to cheeks to the top of her breast. May pulled her down a little, turning her head to lick at her thighs.  

The Schnee whimpered while May closed her eyes and moaned at the taste. Before she knew it her lips was pressing kisses closer and closer to the soft wet curls. Her hands roamed Winter’s front, deep red lines marked Winter’s abs and chest. Her body twitching each time May twirled a nipple between her fingers.  

May hovered less than inch away from Winter’s core, taking in the heat and the smell, the sweetness before her tongue slipped in. Winter lurched forward, fingers digging into the headboard and the other clawed deep into May’s hair. She groaned at the pain, at the taste, at the liquid heat finally spilling into her mouth. She leaned up, nuzzling and breathing deep. Thrusting her tongue as deep as it would go while her nose rubbed against a hard bundle of nerves.  

“Fuck! May!” Winter gasped eyes wide and back arching. Wetness trickled onto her tongue and chin, making May groan. Her hips thrusting into the air as her member throbbed in time with Winter’s core, squeezing hard on her tongue and trying to pull it in. Instead tongue slowly slide out, drawing out a cry from Winter and making her grind to chase it. May only chuckled softly. A quick broad lick, tasting the wetness on her lips and a teasing gentle pressure over her clit. Broad strokes had her panting and tight circles just grazing the bundle of nerve nearly had her screaming.  

She had to pull May’s head back before those lips sealed around her clit. “Virgin, huh?”  

“You can thank Robyn and Fiona,” May said with a hazy smirk and heavy breath. She might have looked a mess, face wet and blushing but Winter looked worse in a perfect way. She looked a mixture of embarrassed and frustrated, gasping for breath, pupils wide with desire and stomach flexing as her core tighten around nothing. Like this, her knight looked more like a Goddess. “Watching them eat each other out gave me a good idea of what to do.”  

Winter groaned, body shivering. May hummed happily, leaning up to as Winter settled back down. May was polite enough keep her licks light and pleasing, not overwhelmingly pleasurable so Winter could talk a little, “I have… some pretty good ideas on how to thank them,” She mumbled, voice trembling at every stroke around her clit. “Fuck. If I’d known you were a virgin I would have asked you if you’d wanted Fiona to join. Watching her ride your face while I fuck you- Fuck! May!”  

All at once May sealed her lips around that throbbing nub, a slick finger sliding deep into her core. May groaned, her member twitching and throbbing as Winter squeezed her finger. The memory of Fiona pinning her to the floor of the training room, her warm small hips on her… May groaned, clawing at Winter’s hips and ass.  

“May!” Winter nearly screamed at the finger slowly dragging along her front wall. She trembled. “More, harder,” She ordered. After over an hour of teasing each other Winter was far too worked up to last long. She pushed Winter forward, angling her hips for a brutal pace with two fingers focusing on that spongy spot that had her partner screaming.  

In a few minutes she was trembling, whispering May’s name in a small prayer begging for just a little more. That she was close. May thought about bringing her to tears but her body betrayed her. Before she could stop herself, May’s lips wrapped around the bundle of nerves, tongue gently rolling around it as she sucked.  

Winter came with a shout, fingers clawing through May’s hair as her body shook and stilled. May groaned, slick hitting her chin and rolling down her neck. “Please don’t stop! S-Slow. Please, May,” Winter whispered again and again in a broken voice.  

Those tight muscles and spasms didn’t relax until Winter was out of breath and then dragged on a few minutes more thanks to May’s gentle and slow thrust, alternating between the sensitive spot and just giving her a pleasing stretch. May avoided her clit, licking around it just to give Winter as much attention as possible. She’d love to massage those breast but her other hand as keeping Winter from completely crushing her.  

When those soft moans turned into a sharp whine, May finally stopped. Head sinking into the pillow. She felt stupidly high and satisfied. The hunger in her blood now content and warm instead of starving hot. She gave a grin up at dazed blue eyes.  

“Been awhile, huh?” May teased, clean hand guiding Winter to laying next to her. Winter huffed and sneered biting at whatever was closest, May’s shoulder. “You back yet?”  

“Shut up…” Winter whimpered, her voice slurred and fairly unconvincing. May laughed lightly at it, trying to kiss Winter’s forehead but the women pulled her down for a messy kiss. May groaned, melting into it. Her mouth parted with Winter’s tongue meeting her halfway. Winter pulled back before she lost her breath, “Since Fiona isn’t here…” Her hand squeezed tight at the base of May’s shaft.  

“Twice…” May said with a groan. She pumped her hips into Winter’s hand a few times before she remembered she was speaking, “I can cum twice before going soft and I usually don’t try for a third.”  

“I’m surprised you didn’t cum when you were eating me out,” Winter said between bites down May’s chest.  

May blushed and huffed, “Three hot girls fucking each other and being felt up by Joanna would probably do you in too!”  

“Challenge accepted,” Winter said with a small laugh. She bit May’s stomach, sucking a mark there before throwing her legs across May’s hips. That content feeling was suddenly gone.  

“Fuck! Win- Winter!” May gasped head thrown back as a blaze of heat and pleasure made her back arch. Winter laughed and gently grind down, spreading her wetness over May’s throbbing cock, pinned between her pelvis and Winter’s hot core. “I’m pretty sure your wet enough,” May teased, blinking back tears of frustration. Her fingers trailed under her chin, gathering the wetness from Winter and licking her fingers clean. “I’m sure you didn’t just soak Robyn’s pillows and sheets.”  

Winter only smirked and raised a brow, hips sliding low. The warm pressure shooting down May’s spine making her legs trembled. Down and down, to the base of her cock and balls… Then she rose up, head lightly brush past Winter’s clit.  

And sunk down to the hilt.  

May saw stars, burning hot and impossibly tight. Winter gasp, moaning and almost purring as May’s hips snapped up. Once, twice, on the third time Winter pulled May’s hands off her hips and pinned them beside May’s head, a hard kiss taming May’s desperate thrust.  

“Slow. May… fuck, please. Slow!”  

May stopped and Winter continued rocking at her pace. Small and gentle. Her head deep in her core. May swore and twitched, the skin on her head slipping on and off. The alternation of burning heat and muted pressure clouding paralyzing her for a moment.  

Winter whimpered, hips adjusting a slow circular grind. THey both gasp as somehow May was pulled in deeper.  

“It’s… It’s been while since I last took anything your size.” Winter confessed, “I… I screamed your name during a one night stand and well.”  

“Honored,” May said after several deep breaths. She couldn’t form any other words, Winter’s lips on hers as she controlled the pace.  

Slowly May’s hands wandered down Winter’s body. From her chest to her neck. As Winter’s increased her pace they traveled lower and lower. Finally her hands was back on Winter’s hips, slamming her down into thrusting hips.  

After years of dancing around each other and the hours of working each other up it didn’t wouldn’t long for May to finish. She pulled her head back from the kiss, whispering warnings. Winter laughed and smiled. She leaned back hands wandering her torso as she her hips grind in low circles that kept May on the edge. Pale fingers pinched her own nipples, fingers splaying wide down her abs. The show stopped as Winter rubbed circles around her clit, hips stuttering.  

May closed her eyes, grabbing Winter’s hips and thrusting as she spilled into her. Winter followed seconds after, drawing out soft confessions as May trembled under her.  

“I love you too. I always have, Winter.”

[bluinary]

gag anime that you need to watch maybe

 hi hello my name is juli and i will now gently guide ur attention to some top-notch shows, please pay attanetion

(this list is for people who don’t watch much anime or who are new to it. if ur a fucken weeb youve probably seen it all. dont @ me i want to help the kids)

ONE PUNCH MAN (the obvious 1st choice lol)

Genre: Action/ Shounen

Expectation: OP protagonist with riveting backstory fights to become the strongest hero, makes many friends along the way who recognize his talents and pure heart, big bad scary villains make him stronger

Reality: OP protagonist is already the strongest hero. His backstory? After fighting a lobster-man with nipples drawn on him with a Sharpie, Saitama decides to do a workout routine every day, and somehow ends up becoming the most powerful known being in the universe. His main issue is that now, he literally can take down any villain with a single punch, and he’s very bored of it.

Best Qualities: Animation is bomb, music is dope, humor is funnie, and Best Boy is a man whose superpower is riding a bicycle. Also Saitama egg head

If you were in a coma for all of 2015, this is the main thing u missed. Moving on.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (Monthly Girls’ Nozaki)

Genre: Romance/ Comedy/ Slice of Life

Expectation: Smol shoujo protag girl grows closer to her oblivious crush through a fated, if awkward, incident which reveals an embarrassing secret that has to be kept at all costs. Through one another they gain more quirky friends, help each other grow, and, eventually, the male lead realizes that what he needs has been beside him all along.

Reality: The crush writes romance manga, and that is literally all the man cares about. It’s not a secret, but when he told people they didn’t believe him. Nozaki and Sakura grow closer, but only because he confuses her confession with a request to be his Beta. They gain quirky friends through one another, but there is zero character development throughout the entire fucking cast. Every episode is run by Idiot Plot. All the characters share a singular brain cell. There’s a tall butch lady turning every girl in the school gay. Please watch

Best Quali-teas: Everyone is baby, lots of gay shenanigans, and toxic masculinity does not exist, the OP is pretty nice, too

I literally heard about this damn show, like, two months ago. This shit was released circa 2015. Pleeze watch

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. / Saiki Kusuo no Psi Nan

Genre: Shounen/ Supernatural/ Fucking Everything tbh

Expectation: Slice-of-life supernatural where protag has psychic powers, albeit limited ones, and has to keep them a secret at all costs for fear of his safety. He has a few friends he loves and cherishes, and at least two girls who are in love with him that he has to choose between-- all of which are people he wants to protect from his double-life.

Reality: Kusuo is very aware that he is the protagonist of an anime, and he does not want to be. Born with pink hair? He rewrites the human genome to make colored hair normal. End of the world looming? He just keeps rewinding time so he doesn’t have to deal with it. Harem situation? He actively uses his powers to avoid all love interests at all times (see the above). The plot of each episode is him trying to stop the plot as quickly as possible without killing anyone. The main issue is that everyone around him is either dumb or just generally attractive to plot-driving circumstances, and they all, for some reason, want him to be in on their adventures.

Best Qualities: Heavy “me and the boys” energy, plenty of Idiot Plot, so funny that my 47yo mom who hates anime admitted that it’s funny, meta as fuck, occasionally sweet scenes, equally good dub and sub, Saiki is babie

The fandom for this shit is like. Nonexistent. Apparently it came out the same season as Mob Psycho 100, so that might be why. I almost didn’t watch it, but I got bored and it turned out to be a serious gem. Go watch if ur having a bad day, it will make u cry laughing

Sakamoto Desu Ga/ Haven’t You Heard? I’m Sakamoto

Genre: Slice of life/ Comedy

Expectation: God I don’t even know. I’d say a typical slice of life where the quiet kid is bullied but makes friends, there’s a love triangle as they grow up together through high school, yadda yadda, but look at this dude. I can’t imagine him being anything other than what he is-- a legend.

Reality: The entire show is just a question of how extra one man can be, and how well he can pull it off. Sakamoto is an “average” high school senior (in the sense that he has no supernatural abilities), but he’s....far more than that. He’s Sebastian Michaelis if he’d never been a demon. Everything always works out for him in the most ridiculous of ways-- he’s just that good. He makes a McDonald’s uniform look like Prada. He’s so smooth his bully ends up having a crush on him (and yes, it is a gay crush. no heteros in this show). 

Best Qualities: lots of homo content. the side characters, inspired by Sakamoto’s grace, all become better people, and you root for them. The circumstances are always average, but the presentation is fucking riveting. Watch to send ur depression into remission.

Another one no one talks about????? U all were so busy with ur broku no hero macadamias and ur Nartoes that you slept on this. Now’s the time to take back what was lost. Love yourself and binge this shit. 

Nichijou/ My Ordinary Life

Genre: Slice of Life/ Comedy

Expectation: Cute girls do cute, girly things and have fun with Their Close Good Friends (TM).

Reality: Cute girls get into very bizarre situations with extremely manic energies. Sometimes, the situations are normal, but the girls react in a bizarre, manic fashion. It will make you alarm-laugh.

Best Qualities: Adorable art style, little continuity, relatable as fuck

A nice little watch if you’re bored. I think the eps are on YouTube.

Pop Team Epic/ Poputepepiku

Genre: Only God Knows

Expectation: Probably a cutesy 4koma-type thing with 2 schoolgirls having shenanigans.

Reality: A regular acid trip with lesbian icons Popuko and Pipimi who are not schoolgirls, but gods. Like if Eric Andre and Hannibal Buress were turned into omnipotent anime icons. Watch at your own risk.

Best Qualities: Lots of unexpected parodies and references amongst a shitpost of a show. The OP is a bop. Popuko terrifies me, but also empowers me as a young woman because she will not hesitate to kill a bitch. She and Pipimi love each other a whole lot, so it is LGBTQ content, which is always a plus. 

I’m sure you’ve seen this one floating around. It will make you feel fear, and then laugh. Now, finally...

Ouran Highschool Host Club

Genre: Romance/ Comedy

Expectation: The protagonist is a girl who is mistaken for a boy and must be the servant of six rich, handsome young men, all of which are in love with her, and her secret must be kept at all costs. A reverse harem anime with plenty of fanservice.

Reality: Haruhi is a genderfluid queen who doesn’t give a fuck what others think she is. Because she broke a Conveniently-Placed Vase and is relatably poor, she has to pay off her debt by being a host herself-- which means male-presenting when flirting with her female classmates to make her dough. The six rich, handsome young men all share three brain cells, and most of those cells go to the character who has one line per episode (usually, it’s “Yeah”. I hope that VA got paid well). The only love interest-- the “leader” and most popular of the six men-- is so dead-set on their club being his Found Family, he confuses his romantic feelings for Haruhi with paternal ones. This is obvious to everyone but him. He never gets the brain cells. 

Best Qualities: Trans characters!! Lesbians!! Extreme “me and the boys” energy, except they’re all rich, so shenanigans skyrocket. Many 4th wall breaks. The most powerful Host looks like he’s 5. Any “fanservice” is never played straight. Takes the Found Family trope to a whole new level. Nice Parks & Rec-quality balance between hysterical and sweet. Everyone is in drag at some point.

I know all of us senior citizens grew up on this shit, but you younguns need to watch the classics to appreciate the newfangled stuff. I recommend watching when you’re in a cheesy rom-com mood. 

Honorable Mentions:

I can’t count these as gag anime, but they’re still ridiculously funny.

Mob Psycho 100

Scissor Seven

Kill la Kill

Cells at Work!

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure 

Ones I haven’t seen but have heard a lot about

Osomatsu-san

Himouto! Umaru-chan

Azumanga Daioh

Gin Tama

Sgt. Frog

Okay that is all just limke put this in ur feel-good tag because these shows will make you happy and donut for get to like and describe to my channel, where I post literally nothing at all ever good night.

[resident-of-storybrooke]

Under the Mistletoe

Rated: We’ll go with M for language

9.6k words...apparently I was making up for lost time this year lol

Read: AO3 or fanfic or wattpad

Summary: Killian is Emma’s favorite barista. Emma is Killian’s favorite customer. But what if Killian wants more and Emma needs a date to take home for the holidays? Will they get burnt, or will they be brewing in love? 

AN: I am excited to finally share, @nevertothethird​, tis I your Secret Santa!!! It has been an absolute joy getting to talk to you these last few weeks. I hope you have an epic road trip, and I hope that you enjoy your gift. This the first proper thing I’ve written all year and boy does it feel good to write again. Thank you @cssecretsanta2k19​ for putting this all together, blessed to be a part of the event for the third year now. And MASSIVE thank you to @kymbersmith-90​ for beta-ing the hell out of this bad boy for me, couldn’t have done this without you, my friend! 

tagging some of the fam squad (I don’t have a tag list, please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @kymbersmith-90​ @let-it-raines​ @artistic-writer​ @hollyethecurious​ @hookedonapirate​ @carpedzem​ @nowforruin​ @kmomof4​ @wellhellotragic​ @thesschesthair​ @doodlelolly0910​ @welllpthisishappening​ @flslp87​

Please enjoy and ALL THE LOVE!!!

Killian would rip the bloody chimes down if he knew that  Belle wouldn't be pissed about it. Every time someone comes in or out of the coffee shop, the light tinkling sounds acts as a reminder. A reminder that he lost Liam eleven years ago. A reminder that he fled England the year after spiraling without his brother. He doesn't hate his job; honestly, it's not a bad gig; he’s thankful that Belle took pity on a fellow expat and gave him the opportunity. It just that sometimes listening to peoples' ridiculous coffee orders annoys him - hence why he spends most of his time in the back baking. Well, that was until she walked in a few weeks ago. 

He didn't know much, only that her name was Emma and she liked to order the same drink every time, never once considering anything else. Sometimes she splurged on a baked good that always seemed to align with the days that Killian had spent baking. He always took pride in his work, but ever since Emma walked in, he had upped his game.

Killian didn't believe in love at first sight, but there was something there he couldn't deny it. She was a ray of sunshine in his otherwise dull rainy days. The first time Emma had stopped in all those months ago, Killian swore his heart had skipped a beat. That Tuesday had felt like any other day, until she’d stepped through the door. The shop wasn’t overly crowded or loud that day, but there seemed to be this peace she brought into the room with her. Killian might have been too distracted by his haze of admiration to actually listen to her order. It wasn't until he’d heard her laugh that he realized she was laughing at him. 

 "Uh...um, wow...yeah, sorry, love. What can I get for you?" 

She stepped closer to the counter, acting like he couldn't hear her giving him an out. "Can I have a large hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon on top, please?" 

 "Cinnamon? Really?" Killian usually didn't care much to interact with his customers. Still, he knew this was a fleeting moment and he was going to do everything in his power to enjoy every second of it.

 "Yeah, it adds a nice little kick.."

 "Ah, well, perhaps I'll have to give it a try myself, love." Killian knew he could be charming, but he also knew he laying it on a little thick at that moment. However, that didn't seem to bother Emma as her cheeks soon had the loveliest shade of blush gracing them. 

 "Name?"

 "If I tell you mine, you have to tell me yours. Deal?"

 Killian couldn't help the grin that overtook his face. "Aye, we have an accord."

 "Emma. My name is Emma." 

 "Emma...beautiful." Then he heard her laugh again and realized like a git he’d said her name aloud. "Uh, sorry about that. I didn't mean -"

 "No worries…"

 It took him a moment to remember side of the deal. "Killian, the name is Killian Jones." He reached out his hand, and thankfully Emma gave him hers, but instead of shaking it like a normal man would have, Killian brought her hand to his lips, and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it.

 They only interacted briefly. Killian made sure to take her order and that he was the one to serve her as well. He didn't normally do that for anyone else. The moment Belle caught on, she teased him relentlessly; however, she never got in the way of Killian's fleeting moments with Emma. Belle was a good boss and an event better friend for that. 

 He wished that one day he would grow a pair and actually talk to Emma, beyond taking her order, maybe one day. And perhaps that day was coming soon.... 

 Emma entered with a huff and went right to her seat. Somehow, it was always empty whenever she came in. Killian grabbed her usual and a chocolate cinnamon cookie because she seemed to need something sweet. But as he walked over, he realized she was on the phone.

 "Yeah...no...of course...I'll be home. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, Ruth. I'll make sure to bring him too. I know you're excited to meet him. He's excited to meet you all." 

 Killian felt his heart fall. She was with another man. The fantasy of a future with Emma finally came crashing down. He almost dropped the cup of hot chocolate and ran off, but managed to hold himself together long enough to set it down on her table. Right before he could make an escape for the backroom, Emma grabbed his arm.

 "Killian, here, let me pay you for this." As she reached into her purse, Killian tried to ignore the spark that ignited inside of him at the feel of her hand on his arm.

 "It's on the house, love." She looked up, thankful, to say the least. 

 "But Killian, are you sure?"

 "Aye, you're here enough; you've earned a free treat. Besides, it sounds like you have a lot going on. It’s the least I could do."

 Emma's face fell in confusion and then she seemed to realize what he meant. "Oh, the phone call? Yeah, my mom is expecting me to bring my boyfriend home."

 Killian tried not to let that crush him; obviously, she was distressed and needed to share her burdens with someone. He just didn't understand why it needed to be him. "What seems to be the problem? Does he not want to meet your family?” 

 "Ha, God, I wish. No, um, you see I - oh God, it's gonna sound so stupid - I lied about having a boyfriend." Killian stood there in shock. "Ruth, my mother, is great and everything, but she’s been begging me to bring home a guy for a while now. I skipped out on Thanksgiving for a case, in favor of going home. And instead of telling her that, I may have lied and said I was staying here with my boyfriend."

 "The boyfriend that doesn't exist, right?"

 "Yeah, way to keep up there, Jones. So...I don't have a boyfriend and apparently, Ruth is organizing some massive holiday party where I am expected to make a debut with him. And I'm slowly realizing that this was probably the stupidest thing I could have ever come up with. I mean, I'm a grown woman. I should've just told her the truth. And now I have to go back home - without a boyfriend - and deal with -"

 "I can go."

 "What did you just say?

 Killian realized that his brain must no longer be connected to his mouth, because only an idiot would have said he would go. But then he saw the look on Emma’s face. There was something in her eyes - maybe it was hope - or maybe it was desperation. He hoped it was the former.

“I said,” he sat down next to her, “I would be more than willing to go home with you, Emma.” Her eyes immediately met his, and she could tell he was serious about his offer.

 “Killian, that’s sweet but we barely know each other. My brother is going to be there. He’s a cop. Actually - a detective. He’s good at sniffing out the truth so he’ll through the charade the moment we step through the door.”

 “I know, love. But maybe I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to learn more about you.” Emma looked away as she blushed. “I’m serious about my offer. I’d be more than happy to accompany you home and make this the best Christmas for you.”

 “You’d really do that for me?”

 Killian could see the tears in her eyes, barely held back. “Aye, love. I think you’ll find I’d do anything to make you smile.” He brought his thumb to her cheek and gently wiped the stray droplets away. “So, just who are you, Emma?”

 “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she said, chuckling as she tried to defuse the tension.

 “Perhaps I would, love.”

 Emma gave him a disarming smile - and that was when Killian knew he was in trouble. 

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 Killian had two weeks to learn everything possible about Emma Swan. The first thing he learned was that her last name was Swan, and he found that it fit her well. He’d also learned that she was a bail bonds person, she liked dogs and cats (but dogs more) and she looked up to David (her brother) more than anyone else. Killian had shared that he had been in the Royal Navy with his brother; and that he missed home (but he preferred the weather here in Boston). And, of course, that he enjoyed a glass of rum every now and then. 

 The drive from Boston to Storybrooke, Maine wasn’t long per se, but nonetheless, Emma was a bit on edge. Killian tried his best to keep her calm during the six-hour car ride. Seeing Emma at ease, without a care in the world, was sublime. He could tell it was something she rarely got to experience, and now it was his mission in life to give her the moments more often.

 After their rousing version of carpool karaoke that would put James Cordon to shame, they decided to finalize their cover story once more. 

 “We met at a Fourth of July party where-”

 “Where you just found me too irresistible and-”

 “You wish.”

 Killian took his eyes off the road for a moment to gaze upon Emma. “Aye, love,” he agreed, and added a wink for good measure. 

 Emma rolled her eyes and continued their fib of a love story. “You just happened to work at the local coffee shop around the corner from my place...”

 “And eventually you realized I’m a dashing rapscallion that you couldn’t live without.” Emma gave another of her non-infamous eye rolls and Killian added, “Scoundrel?” He could see Emma tense up suddenly, and Killian realized that perhaps he had made her uncomfortable. “Love, I’m sorry if I crossed a line. I was merely jesting.”

 He peeked over to see she was looking out the window, lost in thought. Four songs, not that Killian counted, played before she spoke. “It’s not that, Killian. It’s just...do you think we can do this? We have to make my family believe that we’re halfway in love with one another for the next week. Are you really ready to commit to that?”

 Little did she know, Killian thought, he was more than halfway in love - if not already there himself. But he still took a moment to consider the consequences of their silly little plot, and how they would be greater for Emma than for himself. He pulled off to the side of the road and said, “Emma, I swear to you I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I didn’t believe in us. I promise I will do everything in my power to make you feel comfortable these next few days,  and to be the best date you could ever bring home.” 

 Killian held his breath as Emma stared at him. He could see the caution in her eyes, the weariness of the whole nefarious scheme. But then he saw it. There was hope in her eyes. Maybe it was reflected from his, but he swore at this moment, Emma believed they could do this. 

 She didn’t say a word, merely nodded her head, and Killian got the car back onto the road. The rest of the drive went without a hitch. In fact, they were a little ahead of schedule when they arrived in Storybrooke.  

 “Would you, um...like to see where I grew up?” Emma said, a bit unsure of how to act now that they had arrived. 

 “I would be honored to learn more about your beginnings, love.” Emma gave him the same tentative smile from earlier and directed him around the small town. 

 Killian felt an odd sense of familiarity, as they explored the town. Storybrooke reminded him of the village he grew up in back in England. As they drove around, Emma pointed out some of her favorite places. The first being Granny’s, a diner that apparently had the best grilled cheese and onion rings Emma had ever tasted. She also showed him the sheriff’s station, where she may or may not have spent some “time” after being caught with a boy underneath the bleachers in the wee hours of the night. Emma shared  the story of how Ruth had let her off easy after being left in the cell for ten minutes. Emma had been worried Ruth would kick her out, but apparently, she had just laughed, and suggested Emma find a different venue - and better yet, a different boy. Killian chuckled at that. He already owed a debt to Ruth for finding his Swan and giving her a home, but he could see this woman had changed Emma’s life in many different ways, and for that, he could never repay her. 

 As their little tour came to an end, Killian pulled up to Ruth’s house, and Emma began to fidget in her seat once more. “Swan, it’ll be okay,” he promised. She simply stared at the house in silence. “Emma, I promise it’ll be the best week of your life. I’ll do everything in my power to make it so.” 

 Just as Killian made a move to unbuckle his seatbelt, Emma leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Both instantly turned red at the display of affection, and Killian realized they needed to get this out of their system if they were going to convince everyone they’d been dating for months.

 After climbing out of the car, Killian moved confidently around the trunk to grab their suitcases. When Emma began to protest, Killian told her it was what a good boyfriend would do before he shot her a cheeky wink and then headed for the door.

 They didn’t get the chance to ring the doorbell. Ruth had already opened the door and pulled Emma in for a hug when Killian made it to the doorstep. He took a moment to enjoy seeing Emma with someone who cared so deeply for her, and whom she cared for as well. 

 “Ah, well, don’t you think you should introduce me to your man here, Beans?”

 Killian swore he heard Emma grumble at the embarrassing nickname, and he very much looked forward to hearing the story behind it. “Ruth, this is Killian Jones. Killian, this is my mother, Ruth.” As Killian reached his hand out, Ruth completely bypassed it and went right for a hug. Killian had lost his mother when he was a lad, so the maternal display of affection was unfamiliar but not unwanted. 

 “M’lady, it is a pleasure to finally meet you,” he said as he  reached for her hand once more and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

 “Oh, now I see why Emma’s been hiding you away. You are far too charming for your own good.”

 Killian was unsure if the woman meant it as a jest or was somehow already seeing through their facade. He stood there with a nervous smile. 

 “Speaking of charming, where’s David and Mary Margaret?” Killian was thankful for Emma’s quick thinking. He needed to chill out if they were ever going to make this work.

 “Oh, they’re already inside. Come on in, you two!”

 As Killian stepped inside the old Victorian home, he couldn’t help but feel that this was a loving home full of special memories. When he made his way out of the foyer, he saw the wall - practically a shrine - full of photographs of Emma and David. The pictures of Emma only started in her teens after Ruth adopted her, but there were just as many of her as there were of David. 

 Killian only got to enjoy those for a moment, as Emma tugged on his arm to continue into the living room. Inside there was there he saw a man around his height with sandy brown hair and to his left, a much smaller woman with a pixie haircut dancing around. Killian recognized David instantly from the pictures in the hallway, and he knew that the woman dancing was Mary Margaret - David’s very pregnant wife. The two seemed to be lost in their own world as he entered the room, but the moment. As soon as Mary Margaret caught a glimpse of them, she ran over to Emma, nearly tackling her with the force of her hug.

 “Oh, jeez, M’s! I didn’t know that baby bump was part bulldozer! A little warning next time.” 

 Mary Margaret laughed at Emma’s comment. “Well, you see Emma, it has many perks. The best being a table for when I’m sitting.” 

 The two women started to gab about the pregnancy and life in Storybrooke, which left Killian awkwardly standing there. Ruth handed him a drink, which he believed it was eggnog (he’d never had it before). While he sipped his drink, Killian stood there watching Emma enjoy reuniting with her family. Though he had always been able to tell that she had a kind heart, Emma definitely kept it hidden from most of the world. Killian relished the thought of being the one to put her heart out there, and hoped that she wouldn’t feel the need to hide from him.

 He was interrupted from his musings when David stood from his seat to approach the newcomer. 

 “David Nolan, Emma’s big brother. It’s nice to meet you.” 

 Killian reached his hand out. “Killian Jones. It’s nice to meet you as well, mate.” 

 “So, Killian, how long have you been with my sister?” 

 Killian tried to keep his composure, as this was the first real test to see if he and Emma could make it through the week without an incident. 

 “Well, you know your sister, mate. It can take her a minute to trust someone. I recently moved to the area-”

 “From England?”

 “Ah, though the accent may say otherwise, I have lived in the States for nearly a decade now. But I’ve, I just moved to Boston to work at my friend’s coffee shop. I’m the baker. Emma’s actually frequent flyer there, and we just started chatting a bit. She was kind enough to show me around the city, and I help her with her perps sometimes. Realized we were practically dating-”

 “And I realized that I’d found a good one, and I should hold onto him for a bit. Maybe, haha.” Emma had come from nowhere and wrapped her arms around him. For a moment, Killian wished this was more than pretend, that Emma wanted to be with him and wasn’t just doing this for show. However, he knew he needed to get it together if they were ever going to make it through this week, and have some form of friendship after it was over. 

 As if on instinct, Killian leaned down slightly and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He heard Emma’s breath hitch and tried not to take it personally. 

 The answer seemed to appease David enough for the moment. 

 “Oh, I forgot to show you to your room! Sorry about that, Killian. Follow me and we can get your things up to Emma’s old room.” Ruth seemed excited to show Killian the rest of the home.

 “Oh, I can show him the room, Ruth. There’s no need for you to go up there for that!”

 Emma grabbed his arm and practically dragged Killian, up the stairs to the bedroom. That’s when he realized why she was so insistent on showing him his room alone. It was their room. They would be forced to share Emma’s childhood bed for the week. 

 “Swan, I can take-”

 “I’ll take the floor.”

 “Love, it’s more than fine. What kind of gentleman would I be if I made you sleep on the floor? That’s not an option.”

 “Killian, you’re already doing all of this. The least I could do is sleep on the ground.”

 Before Emma could get another word out, David barged into the room, almost as if he anticipated interrupting something. “What do you want, David?”

 “Mom just wanted me to grab you, dinner is ready,” he was silent for a beat before he turned his attention towards an extremely nervous Killian. “I’m watching you, Jones,” was all he said, before he left the room.

 “Sorry about that. They really don’t believe in personal space in this house.”

 “Ah, which is why, and only why, I suggest we may have to share the bed.” Emma immediately opened her mouth to argue with him when Killian stopped her. “Love, you just said they don’t respect boundaries, even in the bedroom. What are they to believe when they see you in the bed and me on the floor? That’s only going to lead to more lies and headaches. I promise, Swan, I’ll completely respect your boundaries if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

 “It’s not that, it’s just...I don’t trust myself…”

 “Afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands off me?”

 “Actually, yes.” 

 Killian looked at Emma, as she stood on the opposite side of the bed. The distance felt much further. He could tell that she had instantly regretted saying that, but he wouldn’t let her for another moment. 

 “Emma, I won’t deny my nerves as well, but I believe that we can both be adults here. As I said, I would never put you in a situation that made you feel anything less than comfortable. If you’re truly unsure, I’m willing to sleep on the floor and set an alarm to get into bed just in case they barge in.”

 “No, no, that’s silly. Like you said, we’re both adults. We can share. Now come on, it’s time for dinner.”

 “As you wish.” 

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 The rest of the first night continued without a hitch, most of the attention on Mary Margaret given that she was nearly the end of her pregnancy, as the baby was due in February. David remained silent throughout most of the dinner, continuously eyeing Killian, but he tried to ignore the other man’s suspicion. 

 The first night in bed, however, was anything but comfortable. Both tried to act as though the other was not there and continue with their normal bedtime rituals. But the silence was unnerving, and neither of them knew how to relieve the tension. Killian didn’t help when he removed his Henley, and Emma saw him shirtless for the first time. He hadn’t thought that through because when he turned around to face her, Emma couldn’t hide her gaping mouth and wide eyes. He wouldn’t lie, it felt good to have an affect on her. Killian knew he was a handsome man, but he hadn’t been concerned about female attention in a long time now - not until Emma had walked into his life. He saw the blush rise in her cheeks and though he wished he could see how far that blush went, he decided it was probably best that he put a shirt on. 

 Emma was the first to break the silence. “Um, what side of the bed would you like?”

 “Whichever side you do not prefer, love. I have no qualms, either way, I assure you.”

 “Do you always talk like that?”

 “Like what, Swan?”

 “Like you’re much older than you actually are. Like you’ve just stepped out of some Jane Austen novel?” Emma finally made her way into the bed, and Killian slide in next to her. 

 “I’ve talked this way since I was a wee lad. I guess it stuck with me. Does it make you uncomfortable? Would you rather me say ‘Psh, you can pick whatever side you want, boo?’”

 Emma lost it at his horrible American accent and rolled over to laugh in his face - but froze when she saw how close they were. “No, um, no, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. It’s just...I...I’ve never met anyone like you, Killian Jones.”

 Emma locked eyes with him, and he saw it again, that hope was back from earlier in the day. “Aye, love, I’m one of a kind.” Killian could still sense her nerves so he suggested, “Perhaps we should get some shut-eye? I think I heard that we’re going Christmas tree shopping in the morning. David said he was going to put my muscles to the test, whatever that means.” 

 “Oh, he’s gonna see if you can carry the tree by yourself - which you won’t be able to. And neither can he. I’m sorry he’s coming off like such a-”

 “Like a big brother? It’s nothing to fret over love; my brother was the same way.”

 “Wait, you have a brother?” 

 Killian cursed himself for letting that slip out. “I had a brother. Liam, he passed away about a decade ago.”

 Emma fell silent for a moment before she said, “You told David you moved here ten years ago.”

 It wasn’t a question, but Killian knew what she meant, “Aye. I left England after his death. I couldn’t be there anymore. He was the only family I had left, and it was just too much being there without him. I made my escape and never looked back.”

 “Do you miss it?”

 Killian took a deep breath in, “I miss him. I miss the trouble we got into as lads and the pub that was on the corner of our street,” that got a laugh from Emma. But I do not wish to move back. I’ve found a home here, and some people I truly care for.”

 “I’m sorry about Liam. if you ever want to talk about him, I hope you know I’m here for you.”

 “Thank you, Emma. I appreciate that greatly, perhaps one day I’ll share a tale or two with you.”

 “I look forward to it. Sleep well, Killian.”

 “You as well, love.”

 He’d never meant to share that part of his life with Emma. Not right now. However, he couldn’t help but feel relieved that she’d welcomed him to share his stories. It was almost like she genuinely cared for him. So, Killian fell asleep with a smile on his face and a heart full of hope that perhaps this wasn’t going to be a big mistake.

 The mistake, in this case, happened when Killian woke up. Emma was using him as a pillow and their legs were intertwined. He finally had her in his arms and Killian relished that moment. She looked so at ease and comfortable, almost like she was meant to be there and he was meant to hold her. 

 Then she awoke.

 Emma’s peaceful smile quickly fled, and panic took over her, the blush rising once more, as she stuttered an apology.

  “I assure you love, I have no issues with being a body pillow. Perhaps though, I should wear a shirt where your drool-”

 “I do not drool!”

 “The stain on my shirt proves otherwise, my dear.”

 “Well, I...uh...shit, sorry I’ll just go get ready.”

 Killian quickly reached for her hand to diffuse any concerns she had. “I promise, love, it’s not anything to fuse over. I was merely making a joke.” He held onto her hand as she nodded, and then bent forward to place a gentle kiss on her hand, just as he’d done the first time they met. Emma, still in some form of shock or panic, freed her hand and then hurried from the room to get ready for the day. 

 Killian fell back onto the bed moaning, thankful she’d missed the part of his body that also seemed to enjoy her close proximity. He needed to take care of that at some point, but perhaps not in her childhood bed. Killian decided to make his way downstairs, and he would bring Emma some hot chocolate as a peace offering. Peace from what, though? From him? He continued to war with himself until he heard a voice.

 “What do we know about him? I mean really, she didn’t tell you his name until a week ago!”

 “David, that’s enough! He seems to be a charming young man who cares about your sister.”

 “So did the last one, and look how that ended! I don’t trust him. Something’s going on between the two of them and I don’t like it.”

 “Exactly, David, something is going on between them and it’s something serious. I know she’s your sister but she’s also a grown woman. She can make her own choices and Killian seems to be a good one. Did you see how he was looking at her? It’s the same way you look at me, David. He loves your sister that much is obvious. And I don’t think it’s one-sided.”

 “What do you mean, Mary Margaret? You think she, that she…”

 “You can say it, David. I think your sister loves Killian -  if not yet, then she’s getting there. I’ve known her for a long time, and I’ve never seen her like this. Not with Walsh, August, or even Neal.”

 Killian was torn on what to do at that moment. Obviously, this was a conversation not intended for his ears. He couldn’t help but wonder what Mary Margaret was hinting on about with Emma’s ex-lovers, but now was not the time for him to ask.

 A lull in their conversation finally gave him the proper time to make his presence known.

 “Good morning everyone.” Killian tried to act normally and not as if that conversation was going to replay in his mind for the remainder of the day. 

 “Oh, good morning, Killian. How did you sleep?”

 “Like a rock, love. And you? I hope the babe is letting you get some rest before he makes their grand entrance.”

 “Ah, he was kicking up a storm last night so not too much sleep. Would you like some coffee?”

 “Actually, I was coming down to make Emma some hot chocolate. Do you happen to have some chocolate in the house?”

 “Are you going to make it from scratch?”

 “Aye, I never give her the premade stuff. I know better than to get in the way of Emma and her sweets.”

 “Smart man,” David said, finally acknowledging Killian’s presence. Mary Margaret grabbed everything he would need without question, Killian went to work quickly on the hot chocolate. He made sure to add her cinnamon on top, and everyone in the room seemed impressed that he’d remembered it. 

 Just as he was finishing, Emma came into the kitchen and went right for the cup without a second thought, she pushed herself onto her toes and kissed Killian on the cheek. The group made breakfast together, except for Emma who was a well-known disaster in the kitchen. Killian enjoyed his time with Mary Margaret and Ruth. He’d always had a knack for cooking and baking, so Killian felt at ease for the first time all day. 

 As they finished their meal and put away the leftovers, David and Emma started prepping the living room for the tree. They bickered back and forth on what size they wanted versus what would work in the room. 

 “Yes, they’ve always been like this.” Ruth said as she came from upstairs.

 Killian was caught off guard by the comment, “Seems as though they love each other, regardless of their differences opinions on Christmas trees.”

 “This is nothing. You should’ve seen them when they were younger, lord, there were days that I questioned if I could handle two teens.”

 “Though my opinion may not mean much on the matter, you obviously did an amazing job with the two of them. I know I’m biased when it comes to Emma, and I don’t know David well, but they both seem lucky to have had a mother such as yourself.”

 “Thank you for saying that, Killian. Will I get a chance to meet your parents soon. They must be proud of having such a wonderful young man for a son.”

 Emma and her family really had a knack for hitting on sensitive subjects, it seemed. “Unfortunately, my mother passed when I was eight and my father became overwhelmed by everything. He left my brother and me one night. Luckily, my brother was eighteen at the time and was able to gain custody of me. We lived together for about a decade until a drunk driver took his life.”

 Ruth didn’t say anything and although Emma was not hers biologically, he could see the same look upon her face as when Killian had told Emma his story. “Well, please know you are always welcome to join our family. I’m happy that Emma’s found you. I think you’ll both be good for each other.”

 “Aye,” Killian was overwhelmed by the woman’s kindness. “she’s the best thing I have in my life, if I’m honest.”

 Thankfully, Emma came over and seemed to sense the tension, as when Killian reached his arm out for her, she instinctively curled into his side. Ruth smiled at the couple, truly delighted that her Emma found someone as wonderful as Killian.

 Everyone gathered their coats and gloves and made their way to the van to head for the Christmas tree farm. David and Emma continued their conversation on which tree was the best and what size they were looking for. Killian enjoyed witnessing the small family moments and desperately wished he could have done the same with his mother and Liam. 

 When they arrived at the farm and had climbed out the van Emma reached for Killian’s hand. Even through the gloves he could still feel that spark. “Everything okay?” Emma asked. 

 “Aye, love. Why wouldn’t it be?”

 “It’s just, you’ve been really quiet since we left the house. Is it because of what happened this morning, cause-”

 “Oh, no, love, it’s nothing like that. It’s just, I mean, I told you a bit about my past. But I’ve just never had a real Christmas tree before. It wasn’t something Liam and I felt was important when we lived together. And seeing you with your brother, arguing over which one to get, reminds me of what I’ve been missing out on for some time now.”

 “Well, for this week, you’re a part of this family. So you can argue about the tree if you want.”

 “Funny, your mother said the same thing.”

 Emma pulled away for a moment. “My mother said what to you?”

 “That I was a part of the family, or I could be, if I wanted to.”

 “Do you?”

 Killian paused for a moment, not because he needed to give it any thought but because he knew his answer could make Emma run. “Aye, love, I would be honored to be a part of anything with you.” He looked down at her and saw a single tear running down her face. When he reached out to wipe it away Emma grabbed onto his hand. He didn’t know why, but he had the urge to kiss her at that moment, and she didn’t look too opposed to the idea when he saw her eyes linger over his lips. Just as he started to move towards her, they were interrupted. 

 “You guys, you better hurry otherwise David will - oops sorry! I didn’t mean to ruin the moment. Maybe I can come back after you’ve had your...uh...moment?”

 Killian sighed in defeat, “Perhaps we should get a move on, Swan? Don’t wanna hear you complaining about the tree not being perfect when we get back home.” Emma laughed and lightly shoved his chest.

 The hunt for ‘The Great Christmas Tree of 2019’ was on, and Killian did everything in his power to ensure David wouldn’t hate him by the end of the day. 

 The two men bickered often, but it reminded him of the way he and Liam used to act. As the day went on, David eased up on him, and even offered to help carry the tree the van instead of making Killian hike it back himself. 

 It was when they’d finally gotten the tree home and started work on decorating it that Killian began to feel like this was where he was meant to be.  That him offering to be Emma’s fake date was not a horrible idea but, in fact, the start of something great for them both.

 Ruth announced that she was calling it an early night, and the couples decided to have a little movie marathon. David and Mary Margaret claimed the sofa so she could spread out, which left Emma and Killian with the love seat. It sat two comfortably, but only if the two were comfortable sitting close to one another. Killian tried to keep his composure as Emma laid the blanket over both of them their legs and snuggled. He draped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in a little closer - just to keep up the ruse.

 Killian had no idea what movie they watched, all he was concerned with was Emma’s hand, which had been drawing nonsensical patterns on his stomach. He truly believed she had no idea what she was doing and when he looked at her, she stopped - but for a moment. When Killian kissed the crown of her head, her hand continued it’s patterns. 

 After the third or fourth movie, Killian realized that Emma was fast asleep at his side. David and Mary Margaret talked about putting on the next film, but Killian told them he was going to take Emma to bed. While he knew the logical idea was to wake her up, he didn’t want to disturb her peace. So, Killian carried her up the stairs and into their bedroom. When he gently placed her down on the bed, he saw her scrunch up her nose and put her hands out, as if she were looking for someone. 

 Killian quickly changed and go into bed. It only took a moment for Emma to curl into his side once more and when she did, Killian welcomed her into his arms.

 When he woke the next morning, Killian found himself in a different position. Emma’s back was towards him  and he, for all intents and purposes, was spooning her. One hand was wrapped around Emma (because apparently, he liked to cling to her possessively in his sleep) and the other was tucked under his head. It didn’t take long for Killian’s body to react to Emma’s close proximity. He tried to keep his thoughts pure; to think about literally anything else. But nothing seemed to distract him from the goddess in his arms.

 Killian truly though he had slipped into some sort of alternate universe when he felt Emma move. It wasn’t to wake up; she was slowly grinding her body against his. He knew he was playing with fire, so he quickly detached himself from Emma, and decided that he would need a cold shower to try and diffuse the situation. 

 He tried to clear his head, but the feeling of Emma’s body against his was enough to lose his mind. Killian refused to find release in her bathroom. He wasn’t sure how much longer his body was going to handle the pent up tension. They had only arrived Saturday night, Christmas was Wednesday, and he needed to survive until after Ruth’s big Christmas party Friday evening. 

 When he finally regained his composure, Killian finished his shower and shut the water off. Just before he could reach for the towel, the door opened, and Killian slid the curtain back to hide from whoever had entered. 

 “Hello? Killian?” It was Emma, thank god, he thought.

 “Aye, I was taking a shower.”

 “Oh, shit, sorry! I didn’t hear the water and was confused about where you went.”

 Killian poked his head out from behind the curtain. Emma was still in the bathroom, despite his current state of undress. “I just finished up, I’ll be out in a moment. I can make you some hot chocolate if you want, love?”

 “I, uh...no...I’m good. I’ll, shit, I’ll just let you get dressed in peace. See you downstairs!”

 Emma ran into the wall, and Killian chuckled until he realized why she was so discombobulated. He had apparently revealed more of himself than he thought, luckily his most private part was covered, but not much of anything else was. 

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 As the next two days went on, Killian and Emma continued to blur the lines, neither one shied away from affection in front of others, but they were also not afraid to remain close when they were alone. After the third night, Emma said she didn’t mind waking up in Killian’s arms. It wasn’t the most romantic phrasing, but Killian took it in stride. Hearing Emma admit that she was enjoying being close to him made him feel as though he wasn’t the only one who felt that connection between them.

 Before they fell asleep on Christmas Eve, Killian heard Emma murmuring something to herself. He couldn’t make it out and decided it would be best not to ask her. He figured she would share whenever she was ready.

 Christmas Day was overwhelming, to say the least. The house woke early, not to open gifts, but to drive to the town over and volunteer at a homeless shelter. Killian knew the family were good souls, and to see it in action reminded him that there was still goodness in the world. 

 After spending most of the early afternoon at the shelter, the group returned home and opened their gifts. Emma and Killian had given David and Mary Margaret some items off their baby registry that they hadn’t been gifted at the baby shower. Killian had gotten them an extra gift, much to Emma’s surprise, of a little pirate stuffed toy. At the looks of confusion over the small pirate, Killian explained how back home, everyone would gift a new baby a doll. He told the couple that an old wives’ tale said that the dolls were protect the child, and while people found it silly, David and Margaret seemed to appreciate the sentiment.

 David and Mary Margaret had gotten Emma an Easy Bake Oven and a cookbook for dummies, everyone thought it was hysterical, even Emma. And since the couple did not know Killian well, they went off the basic knowledge that he was a baker and got him an apron that said: “This is my pretend I can bake apron.” 

 While everyone scattered to make cookies, Emma and Killian stayed by the tree.

 “Oh, before I forget, I got you something, Killian.”

 “Emma...you didn’t have to get me anything.”

 She rolled her eyes at his protests, “I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” She handed him the small box wrapped perfectly neat with a bow on top. Killian was surprised to find a Christmas ornament shaped like the hook Captain hook would wear inside of it. “I remember you saying how much you loved that story and that he was your favorite.” Killian looked at the hook. He was in awe of the thoughtfulness of Emma’s gift. He didn’t know when she’d had time to find such a gift; as he’d only told her that story during their car ride to Storybrooke. 

 Emma sat there waiting for his response, he could see her fidgeting in anticipation. Without a second thought, Killian placed the gift back in the box and leaned forward for a kiss.

 It was soft and sweet. Her lips felt just as he’d always imagined they would when pressed against his own. He pulled back, much too soon in his opinion, but Killian remembered where they were and why they were there. Emma still seemed to be in shock, but it only lasted for a moment and then she was leaning back in for another kiss. This time, Killian placed his hand on the back of her head, gently holding onto her golden locks. The kiss deepened slightly and was only stopped by some obnoxious coughing obviously coming from David. 

 The spell was broken, but Killian swore at that moment nothing had ever felt so right. The two got up and joined the others back in the kitchen to help with the cookies.

 Killian was placed in charge as he was a baker by trade. The group followed his directions but decided to make it more interesting by doing a decoration competition, where Ruth would be the judge. 

 In the end, everyone presented their plates to Ruth. David had attempted to create a dog, like the one that was at the shelter he worked at, but it more so looked like a blob. Mary Margaret had decorated hers to be in the shape of a onesie for a baby. Killian had to admit he was rather impressed with her natural skill. Emma merely threw on every sprinkle and candy she could get her hands on. It was a mess, and Ruth was a bit concerned about the taste, but let it slide since it was Emma. Killian’s creation was the most realistic of the bunch. He designed his cookie to look like a mug filled with hot chocolate. But the design inside of the cup is what grabbed everyone’s attention. It was a swan. 

 Emma recognized it instantly, Killian had made a similar creation back in Boston. She looked up at him and found that he was blushing while scratching behind his ear. It was a nervous tick Emma recognized instantly. Killian won the design off, and by doing so was able to choose their dinner, Chinese food.

 For the rest of the night, Killian was surprised to find Emma nearly glued to his side, it was not unwelcomed, and Killian decided to make the most of this gift. 

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 As the week progressed, Killian knew that at the end of all this madness, he was going to sit Emma down and explain his intentions. He loved her. It was that simple. He wanted to live a life where Emma was not just a part of it, but the star of it all. He had grown accustomed to waking up with her hair in his mouth and his arms wrapped around her. He loved how she was so thoughtful and kind to others. He had known for a while she was someone special, but this trip put in perspective that she was the most special person in his life, and he would do anything for her to see that.

 Still, Killian was nervous that she only saw him as a friend. It terrified him that at the end of this, there was a possibility she could walk away without a second thought. He tried to keep those doubts buried, as there was no need to stress over something he couldn’t control. But that was easier said than done.

 Tonight, was the town’s Christmas party, although gala was perhaps the more appropriate word. Everyone was there to help set up for the event. Killian was pleased when Emma introduced him to some of her high school friends. He found her group to be a mishmash of personalities and yet, they all fit perfectly together. There was Elsa, who was probably personality-wise the closest to Emma. Jasmine, who had also transferred in late like Emma, and then there was Ruby. Ruby was loud and her mind seemed to live in the gutter. Killian knew that if given a chance, they’d probably be great friends too.

 At one point, David asked for Killian’s assistance on a task that clearly needed one person. Which suggested that the other man had an ulterior motive in asking for help. 

 “So, Killian, I think it’s time you and I have a little talk. What exactly are your intentions with my sister?”

 Killian knew it was coming, but he was still caught a bit off guard at how abrasive David was being. He thought he had grown on the man throughout the week, but David’s stance demanded an answer from him. “My intentions are to make her happy, by whatever means necessary. I don’t need to tell you that she’s been through a lot. Her trusts means the world to me. Her heart is precious, and I intend to care for it as if it were my own. Your sister is the most important person in my life, and I wish to stay around for as long as she lets me.”

 David’s features were neutral throughout Killian’s little speech, and then finally, he let a small smile slip. “Welcome to the family then, Killian.” 

 Killian offered him a smile of his own. He was thankful that David finally seemed to trust him with his sister’s heart. The two men spent the rest of the day helping one another, laughing, and finally being at ease. 

 Killian was on his way to grab some chairs from the closest when he once again walked in a conversation not meant for his ears.

 “Spill. Now.”

 “Ruby, I don’t know what you want me to say!”

 “How about the truth, Emma Marie Swan! No texts, no calls, not so much a word. And then you show up here with Killian? Emma, I know you’re reserved but you would’ve told me if you were dating someone. Shit, you’ve told me about one-nightstands before! What’s the deal with you and Killian?”

 Emma sighed in defeat, “We’re not really dating. It’s all pretend.”

 “Emma, are you serious?” 

 Killian didn’t hear her reply, he assumed she nodded her head.

 “Yeah, okay? It was all for pretend. He just offered out of pity, I think. He’s my barista from back home, and he overheard me telling Ruth I was bringing a guy home. And now? Ha! Everything has gone to hell...He’s just a fake date.”

 Killian had heard enough. His heart felt as though someone had reached into his chest and crushed it. He walked away, not daring to listen to any more of how she actually saw him. Just some guy. Some fake date that’s gone too far. Killian stormed out of the building and went for a walk to clear his head. 

 Emma watched as he left but unfortunately, Ruby still had her corned. “So?”

 “So what, Rubes?”

 “Are your feelings for him fake as well? Cause honey, I can tell you his most definitely are not.” 

 Emma knew that deep down, Killian was no longer acting. And somewhere along the line, she had stopped too. Ruby seemed to take her silence as her answer, smirking at her friend as she walked away. 

 “Oh, and Emma? I would tell him sooner rather than later the truth because otherwise, you’ll be under that mistletoe alone.” Ruby knew when to drop the mic and walk away, which always impressed Emma. She just never liked being on the other end of those moments. 

 Emma tried to find Killian, but he seemed to have disappeared from the building. When she went home to change for the party, he kept his distance and never stayed in the same room with her for more than a moment. It didn’t take her long to realize something must have been bothering him, but she chalked it up to him feeling overwhelmed with his current situation.

 Ruth stayed at the venue and changed there, so the two couples decided to ride together. Mary Margaret was wearing an elegant white long dress, and David was dressed in a navy-blue suit. They looked like royalty together. 

 Emma had decided on a black dress that was laced with beautiful patterns and hugged every curve. Killian was in awe of her beauty but tried to hide his emotions. He had decided during his walk, that it would  be best for him not to think of Emma as anything more than a friend. 

 “You clean up well, Mr. Jones.” Killian had trimmed his scruff and wore a black suit, coordinating perfectly with Emma.  

 “Thank you, Swan. You look lovely as well. Shall we go then?” No one else seemed to notice that Killian was off except for Emma. In recent days, he’d been calling her love, darling, and most recently mo ghra. Emma still hadn’t looked up what it meant, she knew his mother was from Ireland and had assumed it was an Irish term of endearment. 

 The entire car ride there Killian didn’t so much look at Emma. He couldn’t, he was weak and would not be able to stop himself from falling more in love with her every second that passed. He needed to be strong and realize this facade of a relationship would be over the moment they returned to Boston. 

 As they entered the building, Killian spotted the mistletoe that had been hung above everywhere. He knew that had not been the original plan. Damn, now he would have to avoid walking through a doorway with her.  

 The party continued without any incidents. Emma had asked to dance with her on a number of different occasions, but he always found an excuse to avoid it. He felt terrible. He could see she was upset by his rejection, but he figured it was for the best. They’d nearly been caught under the mistletoe four times now, and it was starting to feel like Emma was deliberately trying to catch him.

 As the night wore on and couples began to take their leave, the DJ announced it was time for the last song, and invited everyone onto the dancefloor. Killian saw Emma standing off to the side. She looked deflated and he couldn’t stand seeing her that way. Without care for his heart, he stood and offered Emma his hand. 

 There it was again. That hope had returned to her eyes once more.

 As they began to dance to an old Christmas song Killian wrapped his arms around Emma’s waist, and her own came up to settle over his shoulders so her hands could play with his hair, like she had done for most of the trip.

 “Killian, I just want to thank you. If you hadn’t offered-”

 “It was the right thing to do, love.”

 “Why did you do it? Why did you offer to come with me?”

 Killian felt his resolve breaking, he wanted so desperately to say it was because he loved her, but he bit his tongue. “All I know, Emma, was that you deserved to have a special Christmas. One filled with precious memories, not concerns regarding your dating life. And I, uh, I couldn’t imagine you going home with anyone else. The thought of that was unsettling.”

 “You didn’t want me to go home with someone else?”

 “Truth be told, love when I heard you on the phone and you mentioned you were with another, my heart sank. I thought I had lost my chance.”

 The two of them danced in silence, as Killian prayed that he hadn’t crossed a line. 

 “I know you heard me make my wish, you know?”

 Killian gave her an odd look, confused by what she meant. 

 “On Christmas Eve. I know you weren’t asleep.”

 “Oh, that? I was confused by what you were saying. It’d been a long day and I thought you were mumbling something in your sleep.”

 “No, um...it’s a silly thing I’ve done since I was a kid. Christmas Eve, before I fall asleep, I make a wish. The first year I did it, I wished for a home; two months later, Ruth found me. It’s silly and usually nothing happens, but-”

 “It’s charming, Swan. We all could use a little hope every now and again.” The irony wasn’t lost on Killian at that moment. He hoped so desperately that Emma would see him as more than her fake date. 

 “Aren’t you going to ask me what I wished for?”

 “Isn’t that bad luck, love? I wouldn’t want your wish not coming true because of me.”

 “There’s only one way to find out,” she whispered, but Killian still caught it over the music. 

 “What did you wish for, mo ghra?”

 Emma smiled brightly. During the night, she’d looked up what that phrase meant. “Love. I wished for the man I love to love me back.”

 “Emma?” Killian stopped dancing. He stood still and prayed he’d heard her correctly. “Are you...do you...please say it. Please tell me I’m not dreaming.”

 Emma stepped further into his space and held his gaze.

 “I love you, Killian Jones.”

 Killian kissed her as though his life depended on it. And at that moment, felt like it did. 

 “I love you, Emma Swan. More than you’ll ever know.”

 The two barely made it home before they could express their love in a physical way. They didn’t tell anyone that it was fake at the beginning, until the night before their wedding. Emma finally confessed to her family when Ruby inadvertently mentioned it. David had a field day with the news, but Mary Margaret was amazed at their acting. Ruth simply told them that they had never really been faking it. They were merely hiding the truth from each other.

 She wasn’t wrong.