#not fully done yet BUT we’re making progress I guess ???

[bunnyyu]

Playing with fire

[soniccrazygal]

A Matter of ‘Pride’

Mike paced back and forth in his ‘bedroom’, the sound of creaking metallic joints and soft thuds from his heavy steps filling the silent air. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he had been locked and isolated in his room as his internal clock had been deactivated and there wasn’t any other means to truly mark the passage of time. Mike’s best guess was that it had been several days, maybe even a week based on the times he’s had to recharge.

It felt far longer than that though as every second had felt like an eternity as he agonized over how his siblings were doing without him there to help protect them and without him to play peacekeeper when the stress got too much. Elizabeth and Gregory especially were usually at odds with each other…

Oh Superstar… I’m so sorry… Mike thought mournfully, his stride a bit unsteady as fresh guilt flooded him. He had naively believed that simply getting the younger out of the Pizzaplex would be enough to save him from the horrors that lurked beneath it, but now the poor child had to deal with being recently murdered, sharing a body not meant for him, and forced to comply under the rule of his killer.

Gregory was understandably chafing against the restrictions of this new ‘life’ and lashing out when he could. He barely had time to even mourn his death before William had started cracking down on his ‘behavior’. Elizabeth wasn’t helping matters by being more quick to fall and line and saying that Gregory should do the same.

And I left them alone… Mike though guiltily, pace picking up as anxious energy flowed through him. Granted he hadn’t been given much of a choice. Mike still couldn’t believe the audacity William had to ‘suggest’ they have ‘family bonding time’ every day and just assume they would all be okay with it.

Like they’ve been a family in decades.

Of course Mike had scoffed at the very idea and made it clear he refused to entertain William’s delusions that they could ever return to what they once were. The result had been Mike getting shocked for his words and locked in his room.

“Have you been stewing in the consequences of your own actions enough yet?” William asked casually from where he leaned in the doorway, making Mike jump and whip around in surprise. “Or you do still need a few more days to get over your stubborn pride?”

“My pride?” Mike snarled in disbelief and anger, giving his ‘father’ a hateful glare. “It isn’t pride that makes me refuse to spend time playing board games with a child killing psychopath! Why would I ever want to act like we’re still family you monstrous delusional fre-!”

Mike cut off with a wince of pain as the shocking system activated, hunching over slightly as the painful electricity flooded his body before dissipating. William gave Mike a disappointed look as he said, “Michael… haven’t I made it clear that you will always be my son? I will always love you and want you to be apart of my family, despite your previous attempts to destroy it by being the cause of your siblings deaths.”

Mike knew William was just preying on his old wounds to manipulate him, but the stab of guilt that went through him still felt far more painful than the electricity that had been hurting him just a moment earlier.

“That isn’t fair,” Mike said, trying his best to sound firm. “You can’t blame me for everything you’ve done…”

“Perhaps not, but there wouldn’t have been nearly as many deaths if you hadn’t kept impeding my progress,” William replied, standing up straight and stepping fully into the room. “And never forget that you’re a murderer too. You killed Evan and I’m the one that had to figure out how to put him back together.”

“It was an accident…” Mike weakly defended as he instinctively took a step back, all his old guilt and self loathing being dragged to the surface at William’s words. “I-I didn’t mean to… not like you!”

“I simply did what I had to to save this family,” William replied coldly as he stepped even closer, looming over Mike. “Nothing is more important to me than this family and I will do whatever it takes to make sure it remains intact and eternal. Something I would think you’d appreciate as I made sure you wouldn’t be able to harm your siblings ever again.”

“I’d never do anything to hurt them!” Mike shouted back, hating how easily William was able to make him feel like a simple rebellious teenager again.

“And yet you’re doing just that now,” William pressed on, not giving Mike time to organize his thoughts. “They’ve been asking about you you know? Asking how you’re doing and if they can see you… They miss you Michael and I hate denying them something so basic as being able to see you, but I can’t let your stubbornness go unchecked, not anymore. So ask yourself Michael… is your pride in refusing to spend a few hours with me and the whole family each day really worth not being able spend the rest of your time with them?”

Mike knew William wasn’t right, not really, but there was no point in trying to convince the madman of things like logic and morals. And in the end, Mike couldn’t deny that William had a point. Trying to deny William’s ‘request’ for time with the whole family was not worth being kept isolated from his siblings. He couldn’t leave them alone to face William without him there to be a buffer from the madman’s wrath and to provide what little comfort and protection he could.

Mike hated it, but he had no choice but to play along in this instance.

“Alright…” Mike sighed in defeat, his entire posture slumping a bit as he submitted to William’s demands. “I’ll participate in your stupid family bonding activities… just let me be able to be with my siblings again!”

“See… was that so hard?” William said with a pleased smile. “If you just obey me like you should, then I wouldn’t be forced to punish you like this so often. Come then, let’s go tell Evan and Elizabeth the good news.”

Mike had to force himself to remain silent as he had a lot of choice words he wanted to yell at William, but he couldn’t risk losing this chance to finally be back with his siblings again. William lead the way into the main room and the moment Evan and Elizabeth spotted Mike tailing behind him, the both lit up with relieved smiles.

“Mikey!” They both shouted in excitement as they ran forward to hug their brother, Mike automatically kneeling down to accept them into his arms.

“I missed you so much Mikey!” Elizabeth said as she squeezed Mike. “Don’t go away for that long again!”

“Gregory and I were trying to figure out how to sneak in to see you,” Evan whispered as he pressed up against Mike. “But we were worried we’d just get you in more trouble…”

“I’m here now though,” Mike assured as he held them close. “And I promise I’ll try not to leave you guys alone that long again…”

He knew that promise would mean complying more to William’s wishes, but Mike still made the promise anyway. His siblings were the most important thing to him and he had to be here for them in any way he could. He would always end up putting them first no matter what.

And from the smug smile Mike could see on William’s face… his father knew that too…

[girlvinland]

Going to apologize in advance for how cringe this probably is, but it’s my home and we’re okay with that here- myself or anyone else’s.

For a long time I’ve been really aware that I put bits and pieces of myself into my OCs (probably pretty common I guess? since a lot of the time it’s easiest to write from our own experiences). For me it includes sexual experiences/feelings, and like, obviously writing and developing some random characters wasn’t what pushed me to come out, but I think those things did contribute to my own processing of my own feelings about myself and the past and different experiences I’d gone through. I guess it was for me easier to place all of those things (especially any of the traumatic experiences) onto entities that aren’t actually real or whatever instead of sitting down and journaling and like “here are the specifics of what happened”, etc. Is it as healthy? I have no idea tbh lol. It’s probably not necessarily a bad thing though.

Anyway, something specific I’ve thought about for idk, a year or so, is how I HC/write one of my chars as a stone top. And it was kind of like, a natural progression of me working out my sexuality from a het standpoint (like, always imagining myself as the male char in a het relationship) to loosening whatever internalized homophobia or idk lack of knowledge I had about things in general and putting all of that stuff onto a char who was more similar to me (afab but with kind of nebulous experiences around gender, into women, etc). But it’s like, it wasn’t a conscious decision to make the char more like myself, it just kind ended up going in that direction with how I wanted them to be.

ANYWAY there’s a point to this, I swear. It’s a lot of stuff I don’t even think I realized I was doing, but I was placing how I experience my own sexuality onto the character without even fully unraveling everything about said sexuality yet. Like, my experiences with women were really limited before and were from over a decade ago until now. That’s a really long time for someone to go through personal understanding and development, you know? But I know how I’ve always naturally felt in those instances too. I like to touch, I don’t like to be touched (with some really specific caveats to that, like, above the waist is okay or if there is a lot of trust, there may be some loosening in what I’m okay with). I don’t like things being done to me bc it literally does nothing for me while giving does everything for me. Idk why, it’s just how it is. It’s probably stuff I need to talk through in therapy. Or. Maybe just accept?

But all of that felt like stuff I knew internally, never putting a name to it or anything, and then it was like, the first night M and I were together and she tried to touch me I instinctively just reached for her hand to stop her, and she just looked at me and asked if I was stone, and I was like. Ah, yeah, I guess I am. Idk why it’s easy to project these things onto characters but then like, never recognize it irl until someone has to say it out loud, like, a yeah no shit sherlock moment at myself.

Idk why I’m writing all of this honestly. I guess it’s just to like work some of it out and get things out there.

[gremoria411]

Alrighty then, I finished watching Gundam: The Witch from Mercury’s season finale yesterday, so I’m gonna note down my thoughts here, starting with characters, with another post about the mobile suits.

Spoilers ahead, obviously.

I really enjoyed the progression of Suletta and Miorine’s relationship during the season. It had a lovely slow-burn with moments of extreme heat quality to it (if that makes sense as a metaphor), particularly episode 11. The other members of Earth house are absolutely charming as well, them each having a solid personality to get attached to. I was disappointed we didn’t see a little more of them, but I expect they’ll be much more prominent in the next season. I was pleasantly surprised by Chuatury Panlunch, who’s just wonderful to watch and I enjoyed what little we saw of Nika Nanaura (though considering Chuchu’s getting a new suit next season, we’ll definitely be seeing more of them).

I did love the contrasts between the parents this season, with the outwardly nice Madame Prosepera/Elnora Samaya being contrasted with the aloof and standoffish Delling and Harsh Vim Jeturk, who nonetheless love their children (though I admit I may be reading into the season finale a little much there). I was honestly kinda sad to see Vim go, just because the Jeturk’s have just been so interesting to watch and the loss of one is unfortunate. Though this does mean that Guel’s younger brother Lauda is now head of the company.

Which, if I’m being honest, seems like it’s gonna end really badly.

Talking about the Jeturk’s neatly segues into talking about the rivals - Guel, Shaddiq and Elan. I’ve been absolutely loving Guel’s arc this season, with his actions during the finale being (while horrifying) an absolute standout. I’m very much looking forward to seeing where he goes from here (and I really hope he doesn’t die). Shaddiq’s been interesting, and I find it notable that he’s been basically dominating the scene except when he’s in a mobile suit, where he gets absolutely wrecked. I do hope we get to see more of his entourage in subsequent seasons though, since they’ve only really been stomped by suletta so far. Of note is that so far he appears to be the only character to have a genuinely positive relationship with his father, which is interesting.

Elan is difficult to talk about, principally because there’s three of him (so far). Number four (the first one we see) is only around briefly and while lovely, exists mostly as a sacrificial lamb to establish the darker tone. Number 5 (the manipulative one) hasn’t done all that much yet, so I have little to say about them. The original (the one in the suit) has officially dethroned Delling as the villain I most look forward to getting their comeuppance. We also haven’t seen that much of Peil’s CEO’s yet, though at a guess I’d say they’re the bigger threat here.

Now just some other observations that don’t really fit anywhere else:

While Dawn of Fold is interesting (since we’re finally seeing some more Earthican representation), I care more about the individual characters (Norea Du Noc, Sophie Pulone and Naji Geor Hija) than their actual cause, at least for the moment. Again, very much looking forward to seeing more of them, and their relation with Nika (Though I do fully expect at least two of them to die horribly at some point).

I was very happy to see Kenanji Avery (the antagonist from the prologue) make a return, even though I’m absolutely certain he’s going to die at some point.

I really wanted to like and trust Lady Prospera/Elanora at first, but eventually the manipulation and Char vibes just got too strong.

Speaking of, I do suspect that Suletta’s whole “move forward gain two” mantra might be a blockword or trigger phrase or something, given how utterly Gung Ho she is about killing people during the final parts of the finale. Then again, I suppose she could just be applying what her mother’s taught her without fully thinking about the consequences (really girl, don’t try to be all romantic while you’re covered in blood). I did love the symbolism of her mother leading her onto the bloodstained floor though, that was really great.

[billfarrah]

At this point, I need the trailer to get a feel of this season tbh. I know the trailer for s1 was not the best, but I have hope that now that we know the characters the trailer would make more sense to us (?).

Idk I am scared lmao also there's this person on Twitter that says they have seen the whole season and it sucks so now I am even more nervous (although my rational mind says that they are probably a troll, but there's always that possibility I guess).

I guess my biggest fear are the character characterization (like I don't care for the love triangle if it helps Simon development), like are we gonna understand the characters actions/mistakes or is it gonna seem ooc/just done for the drama? Also how much are we gonna spend with the Wilmon relationship? Are we gonna develop that organically? This show is mainly a romance (imo) so it would feel like a mishap to me if we neglect the central relationship... I guess that's why I also want the trailer, to see how many Simon/Wille scenes they put there. I don't know, I am a little stressed lmao.

Thank you for answering these asks btw, you are great ^^

Thanks, tbh this fandom has been a really unpleasant place these past few days so I’m just trying to stay respectful and neutral. I understand where everyone is at. We’re very strongly attached to this series and we want to see the story progress in a way that feels true to the series, and there’s always risks that we might not like the outcome.

I’m not above feeling stressed out. I’ll be honest with you, when i first read the article, I freaked out a bit. I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to be seeing it and I can’t lie, confirmation of this love triangle did feel a bit defeating to me, not because I didn’t think it could be done well but because it has been talked about soooooo much over the past year that I was like fuck… there it is. I knew the reaction would be bad, and welp… it has been. But I don’t wanna contribute to the nastiness and negativity. It’s honestly so ugly and just feels so deflating and exhausting. I don’t know how people get any joy out of being angry and bitter all the time; it genuinely makes me feel like shit.

I’ve seen the Twitter troll and I’m not gonna talk about that because there’s no point. If they’re telling the truth and they’ve seen it and I hated it, I don’t know why they feel the need to ruin it for everyone else and act like they’re a martyr and “saving” everyone from disappointment. No, theyre just being a cunt.

As far as the characters being OOC, I’m not really worried about that. We don’t fully know these characters yet. We’ve known them for only 6 episodes and for very limited circumstances. I just hope the choices they make make sense for the story. Yeah

[journeydb]

December 23 2021 Boulder

Well, we’re at it again!  Baking Christmas cookies is one of the Aguilar-Moreno family’s traditions with me since we have done it for many years now.  The kids are becoming quite experienced and just crank those cookies out.  They also gobble them up really quickly!

Lupito is getting to the age, at ten, of not being as excited about traditions as he used to be when he was younger.  It’s the whole pre-teen thing, I guess.  But, to his credit, he still participates, especially on the eating end.  Chuyita still loves to bake and Manuelito is getting into the spirit more each year.

I wore my mask the entire time they were here, except for the few seconds I took it off for this photo.  I also tested negative but because I’ve only had two vaccinations and the Omicron variant is more contagious, as well as because Manuelito isn’t old enough for the vaccine yet.  Miguel and Esmeralda and the other kids are as fully vaccinated as they can be at this moment.  We are being careful but we’re not allowing the virus to run our lives and we’re still enjoying life as much as possible.

The kids posed with the cookies they had made before they started munching on them and sharing them with their parents.  Then we began the gift-giving part of the celebration.

Lupito agreed to play Santa Claus and Manuelito was his helper elf and they gave out the gifts to the rest of the family.

This year we are all so much happier because last year we couldn’t be together at all during the holidays and that was really hard.  I had to drop everything off at their house and then leave while they brought it in.  Are we getting back to “normal”, whatever that is?  Maybe not completely but at least this year we are celebrating and spending time together so we’re delighted about that.

Some other children who are important in our lives and with whom we share our blessings are “Mithun’s kids”.  Mithun is a young man who lives in Nangli, India and who started a school for children living on the streets several years ago.  Since that time Bruce and I have supported him in his efforts, not only during the holidays but throughout the year.  At Christmas instead of giving gifts to many of our friends we make a bigger donation to Mithun’s kids and to The Nature Conservancy, in support of the environment and Earth’s creatures who share the Blue Planet with us.

Mithun’s kids are doing well and the most important thing is that GIRLS are being educated right alongside the boys, which is really important, especially in developing nations.  Research shows that girls who are educated are more likely to have smaller families and be able to contribute to the family income and raise the standard of living by working or even starting their own businesses.  This contributes not only to their families’ prosperity, but the health and economic well-being of the entire region.

We have also helped finance Mithun’s studies because he has been going to college at the same time that he is running his school.  He is an AMAZING young man and I hope some day to travel to India to meet him and the kids.  He always sends me pictures so I can follow the progress of the children. We are SO proud of Mithun that he graduated from his university this year!  He’ll be signing up for graduate classes next semester, too.

[the-devils-girl94]

A Sloppy Payback

Prompt: Blowjobs On The Beach

Characters: Belphegor x MC

Content Warnings: Blowjobs, A Miffed Belphie, Somnophilia, Slight Dom! Belphie, Bratty! MC, Hair Pulling, Face-fucking, Deep throating, etc.

((God I hope this is the shortest fic I will ever have to write because damn. Anyway enjoy another @voltage-vixen 's Summer of Smut fic for your dinner platters.))

Feeling a heated glare on your person, you turned around to locate the source of it. Once you did, you confirmed it was none than your upset lover, Belphegor. You winked at him and snickered as the glare he sent you was fully deserved on your part.

Earlier that day, you had went to the twins’ rooms to wake him up.  You wanted him up and at ‘em since you guys were leaving for the beach in a few hours, as courtesy of Lord Diavolo. Beelzebub had asked you to wake him up since he was already packed and ready to go, but Belphie was not. You had did all you could to wake him up: shake him, poke him, slapped his booty. But nothing worked except make him stir and roll on his back. You huffed and tried to think of another method. And glancing over his sleeping form, you thought of one. A very mischievous one that you knew Belphie would get back at you for.

You got on the bed, your added weight dipping the bed in but no stirring from your lover.

“Belphie~,” you whisper-sung into his ear but all you got was soft snoring. You rolled your eyes and pouted. You settled yourself between his legs, hooking your fingers underneath the hem of his pajama pants. You rolled them down enough to expose his flaccid cock, resting neatly under tufts of dark bluish-grey pubic hair. Your cheeks became pink at what you were about to do, but it was almost exciting for you. 

Gently taking hold of his member, you gave it a few jerks, feeling it starting to harden already. You kissed the tip and heard Belphegor’s breath hitch as his body stiffened. Oh, possible progress, hm? 

You continued to stroke him until he was completely hard, pre-cum starting to leak from the tip. 

He started to squirm when your tongue came out to lap it up, his hips rising and heavy sighs leaving from his lips. You moaned inwardly as now heat was building up inside of you. You set to work on licking the base of his cock, leaving a trail of your saliva as you licked your way to top. You gave the tip another kiss before your lips wrap around it and you started to go down. You could hear Belphie’s breathing getting heavier until you managed to get a groan out of him and a hand was gripping at your hair. You whined low in your throat, wanting to continue with your ministrations, but you looked up. Belphie was staring at you, wide awake and blushing.

You gently removed his hand from your hair and pulled off his cock with a pop. You licked your lips at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Glad to see you’re awake, Belphie~,” you grinned. His eyes darkened with lust when you sung his name.

“(Y/N),” he started but you shushed him.

“I know you would like me to continue, but you need to get to packing. We’re leaving in a few hours. See ya!”

And then you left. Before the door completely shut, you could hear Belphegor calling after you, telling you to wait. But you didn’t. You sighed with relief, congratulating yourself on making a smooth and quick getaway. But you knew you were going to be in a world of trouble. But it was a good thing you left when you did, otherwise you would have missed the trip with Belphie satisfying all his desires with you. And things were getting a bit heated on your end too.

After that, before you guys left on the trip, Belphegor tried to grab your attention in any way possible. He tried talking to you, but you would ignore him. He tried texting you, but if he replied that he wasn’t done packing yet, you left him on read. He even tried cornering you and that was almost successful, but then came the rescue of his gentle giant of a brother and you made your escape.

So, suffice to say, now that you guys were on the beach, Belphegor was PISSED! You felt a little bad for leaving him like that without finishing. However, you knew your boyfriend and if you had stayed, well...you two wouldn’t even be on this trip.

For someone who will literally sleep all day, he sure was active and energetic when it came to intimate activities. Especially if you had been particularly bratty that day as well. He would have had you completely worn out. And now that you had awoken the beast, you were still hiding, running, and ignoring your lover. For some reason, you really wanted to rile him up more. This little game of cat and mouse has gotten you much more excited than before and the punishment you faced was thrilling. You could definitely say you were looking forward to it.

________________________________________________________________

You got caught. And it completely caught you off guard. 

You managed to get away from your lover multiple times, but it only lasted for a few hours until he finally caught you. What? You really thought you could get away from a demon who’s hell-bent on catching you?

You were sitting around with everyone, including Belphie who sat across from Lucifer. His eyes tried to burn a hole through you, but you had gotten used to it so you paid it no mind. You were busy conversing with Leviathan when you decided to excuse yourself for a moment. 

Unfortunately, this is where your game of cat and mouse ended as your lover had noticed and excused himself when you were out of sight to follow you. Just as you thought you were safe, you felt your wrist get grabbed by a tight grip and a shiver went down your spine when the unmistakable voice of your lover reached your ears.

“Got you.”

Ah fuck...

Soon you found yourself backed against a wall with your mouth being thoroughly ravished and a hardened member slowly stroking against your sex. With your legs being held up by your nap-loving boyfriend, you tried to move a little faster to get more friction, but he kept your hips in place by bringing his body closer to yours. Your mind became so muddled as you became breathless from the intense make out and the pleasure from your nether regions sent waves through your body. Every moan you uttered got swallowed up and you whined when you needed to come up for air. You were granted the courtesy when Belphie pulled away from you, the string of saliva connecting you until it broke.

“Nngh, Belphie,” you whined as you squirmed, desperately wanting to feel more of him. “Come on~. Go faster.”

“Shhh,” he shushed you, only amping up his speed a little bit. He kissed the length of your neck, stopping to suck on your jugular before pulling away. “This is your punishment for earlier. You shouldn’t have left me like that.”

“S-Sorry! But you wouldn’t, hnn, wouldn’t respond to-to anything else I did to you.”

“Oh? So you just put your pretty, little mouth on my cock.”

Uh-oh, you thought as you grew suspicious at the growing smirk on his face. You were right to be when Belphie’s movement came to a halt and you felt your body being lowered.

“Then I guess you can use it again to make me cum.”

Screaming internally because you knew he would make that request, you almost wanted to deny him but figured this is a deserved punishment. You dropped into a squat and before you stood Belphie’s throbbing member. You gulped and prayed that you didn’t get lockjaw. 

Your hands found balance against your lover’s thighs, gripping onto them for security. Parting your lips, you took in the head, tasting the pre-cum that leaked on your tongue. Instead of going slow, like you originally wanted to to spite your lover, your head bobbed at quick pace, drawing out moans from your lover. Your saliva started to leak out pass your lips, dribbling down to your chin as you sucked. You felt that all too familiar heat from earlier and thought back on the feeling of sliding your lover’s dick into your mouth. You moaned around his cock, sending vibrations throughout. 

“Fuck, (Y/N)! You’re way too good at this,” groaned Belphie. His hands came up to grip at your hair again. You felt him pull so you could look at him, stopping you in your tracks, and another moan escaped you. Your body tingled with pleasure and your grip on your lover’s thighs tightened.

“Oh? You liked that, huh?”

Belphegor could tell it did when your eyes met his. He could see them daring him to do it again as your eyes stayed in contact as you resumed devouring his cock. You buried your nose into the patch of pubic hair, taking him as far you could into the back of your throat. You hummed around him, making him hiss and grip your hair tighter. Pulling at your hair, he forced you back, his cock slipping out in the process. You panted heavily and so did Belphie. 

It wasn’t long before your mouth was back on him, but this time your head was stuck in place as Belphie started thrusting inside your mouth. Your hands were too busy to tend to the overwhelming heat growing inside you. They stayed on your lover’s thighs as his balls smacked against your chin. Your knees trembled as you squatting wasn’t holding up very well, but it didn’t last long as Belphegor’s thrusts became erratic. His cock throbbed inside your mouth and he buried it deep inside as he stilled himself. Hot, warm strings of cum poured down your esophagus. 

Still wanting more, you swallowed around your lover, moving your tongue to get a reaction out of him. A quick yank of your hair was his warning to not tempt him, but of course you had to.

You were his little brat.

[baroquebucky]

comfort

bucky always found comfort in steve, but he’s gone now. who will he turn to for comfort now?

word count: 3.1k

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! thank you anon for requesting this <3 just angst and fluff (and endgame steve >:[) !! let me know what you guys think :] (srry for any typos)

“this is bucky!” steve smiled at you happily, you were Steve’s neighbor, always lending him a helping hand when he needed it and giving him emotional support and encouragement that would last him a life time.

“nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard lots ‘bout you” you smiled, sticking your hand out and bucky reluctantly shook it. “why don’t you guys come in for a bit? I’m making some pasta and i put way too much” you grinned, watching as bucky and steve looked at each other, having a whole conversation silently before Steve spoke up again.

“we’d love to” he grinned, pulling bucky inside your apartment with him before you closed the door. Bucky took in your apartment, it was somewhat messy, but it a nice way, a live in sort of way. You had plants all along your windowsill and a basket full on blankets near your couch, books along the shelf with a couple other things and pictures all over the place.

“hope you guys like chicken Alfredo” you smiled, checking the pasta before deciding it was good enough and scooping some out onto three plates

“bucky i have a serious question for you” you spoke as you set the three plates down on the dinner table, smiling at steve as he thanked you.

“oh, okay” bucky mumbled, shifting in his seat and heart racing. You were gonna ask him about his time as the winter soldier weren’t you? You were going to judge him for everything he’d done.

“what animal do you think you can take in a fight?” You spoke seriously, looking at him as you set his plate down.

That’s it? What animal he could fight?

“what?” He asked, confused as to why you were asking him this. Surely this was some test? Maybe it was code for something, if he answered a specific animal then it proved he was a good person.

Steve groaned as you asked the question and you scowled at him, hitting him softly as you passed by him and to the kitchen to get some water for the three on you.

“what animal do you think you could beat if it was just hand to hand combat?” You looked at him, studying his features and quickly taking in the fact that he was in fact the most breathtaking man on earth.

Bucky looked at steve who let out a sigh.

“you should answer now, she asked me that a couple days ago and we talked about it for almost an hour” steve smiled, reminiscing on the way you even made him coffee so he could stay until the end of your discussion.

“uh, i mean, well i guess I’m a super soldier so- i don’t know i don’t wanna fight any of them” he spoke warily, looking at you nervously and watching the way you narrowed your eyes at him before your face softened, breaking into a wide smile and nodding your head proudly.

“James barnes i think you and i are going to get along just fine” you smiled, taking in the way his eyes lit up just a tad at your words.

Steve smiled at the way bucky sat a little straighter, loosening up a bit and warming up to you little by little. He wanted him to have someone to turn to, he wanted him to have you like steve did, someone he knew he could always rely on.

After the whole Blip went down and everything was back to normal bucky found himself lost at times, wandering the streets in seek of comfort. He was left alone in the world with nothing left from his old life.

Steve had only been gone for a couple of days and he already felt horrible. He had no one to turn to, no one to lean on. He was alone.

He tried finding solace in sleep, wishing that his mind would whisk him away to be happy in his dreams. His attempts were fruitless, all he managed to do was toss and turn, his mind racing and never relaxing enough to fully sleep.

The small moments he did manage to sleep he awake in a cold sweat, nightmares plaguing his mind, his memories rushing to him alongside the pain and thoughts that has recently set in after steve left.

Bucky sat on couch of his apartment, it was silent as the sounds of the city were muffled through the walls, rain gently hitting his windows. He so badly wanted to just break down and cry, to have someone tell him everything would be okay, to comfort him and remind him that he wasn’t alone even with steve gone.

Bucky scrolled through his contacts, vision blurred with tears as he searched helplessly for someone he could go to. As he scrolled through his contacts he found you, when had he put it there?

He clicked on your name and sure enough, there was a picture of you smiling brightly with steve, a note written under your contact information.

buck, y/n helped me get through everything, theyre sweet and caring and kind, please talk to them if you ever need anyone i promise you they can help - steve

Bucky let out a shaky breath as he read the note steve had left. When did he even get ahold of his phone? Buckys mind was racing, he wiped his tears and locked his phone. He would be fine, he didn’t need anyone to help him.

As the day progressed bucky felt the pain in his chest growing with each breath, tears threatening to spill out any moment. He was frustrated that the feelings wouldn’t just go away, it was persistent and nagging at him every minute of the day as he tried to push it away.

Maybe if i take a walk it’ll clear my mind, bucky reasoned, throwing on a jacket and heading out, there was only a very light drizzle as he walked aimlessly, trying everything to get his mind off the emptiness he felt in his heart.

Was he not good enough for him to stay? Was everything bucky had done, too much for steve? Why would he leave him so abruptly? After everything he just left him with no hesitation.

Bucky tried to shake away the thoughts but they grew louder and louder, tears stinging at his eyes and he decided he’d had enough.

Bucky stopped in his tracks, taking note of where he was and recalling the path he and steve had taken the first time they visited you, he let his mind wander, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it.

By the time he reached your apartment he wanted to turn around and leave. Did you even live here still? We’re you even home? It wasn’t a good idea, he should deal with it by himself.

Bucky was about to turn to leave when you opened the door, dressed up with bright red lipstick on. Oh wow you were stunning, bucky thought as he turned around to face you.

“bucky?” You asked, looking at the man before smiling widely, “bucky! oh wow hi!” You grinned, not hesitating to pull him in for a hug and squeezing him tightly. As you pulled away you noticed his red eyes and the frown on his face. Your smile quickly disappeared when you saw the way he tried to hide the tear stains, looking down at his shoes.

“oh james what’s wrong?” You spoke softly, grabbing his wrist gently and pulling him into your apartment, he looked up quickly. It was still the same, it was just as homey as he remembered it.

You led him to the couch, quickly bringing over the basket of blankets and letting him choose whichever one he wanted, smiling as he picked the fuzziest of them all.

“good choice” you softly spoke, grabbing a blanket for yourself and setting it on the couch next to him.

“do you want anything to drink, i have coffee, hot chocolate, water and maybe some apple juice” you smile fondly at the man on your couch and he thought for a second before replying.

“can- do you think i can have a hot chocolate” he spoke softly, “please” the tone of his voice made your heart clench and you wanted to just hold him, but you knew he didn’t need that just yet, so you just nodded and made his hot chocolate as fast as you could, adding whipped cream and marshmallows and placing it on the table in front of him.

“added extra whipped cream for you” you smiled, slipping your heels off and grabbing your phone, “I’m gonna get changed and I’ll be back out in a second, make yourself at home buck” your smile was warm and sincere and he already found the emptiness fading.

“i have to cancel today I’m really sorry” bucky heard, his super hearing picking up on the conversation you were having. “something came up” your voice was calm. “no i cant just ignore it” your tone shifted, leaning towards annoyance as you continued.

“excuse me for caring about someone other than myself!” You spoke dryly, changing out of your dress and into some sweats and an oversized t shirt. “you know what i think, i think it would be better if you deleted my number and forgot about me actually! i think that’d be great” your voice was cold as you hung up, letting out a sigh before smiling slightly, thank god you didn’t have go through with that date.

As you walked out you noticed bucky getting up, heading towards the door.

“leaving so soon? you barely touched your hot chocolate” you frowned, your voice making bucky turn to look at you, his words died on his tongue when he noticed you were changed.

“you have a date” was all he said and you smiled, shaking your head and pulling him back to the couch with you.

“had” you corrected him, “cancelled on ‘em, didn’t really wanna go” you scrunched your face up as you spoke, sipping some of your hot chocolate before looking at bucky softly.

“got better things to do” you stated, watching the way he slowly warmed up to you, moving his body to face you.

“like what?” He whispered, looking down at the blanket in his lap as he let it lightly.

“like make my bestest friend in the whole world feel better” you answered, not missing a beat as you spoke, looking at him.

Bucky swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Never in a million years did he think someone he met a total of three times not so long ago could bring him so much warmth, so much comfort. He didn’t bother hiding the blush on his face, he knew you wouldn’t tease him about it, you were more focused on making him feel better.

“what’s eating at you buck?” You prodded him gently, watching his body language closely for any signs of discomfort. He looked at you before focusing on his hot chocolate, picking it up and taking a small sip.

“good hot chocolate” he mumbled, taking another sip and you smiled, nodding your head silently. Bucky set the mug down again, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. “it’s just-” he began, cutting himself off before he could continue.

“he didn’t say goodbye to you, did he?” His eyes were whirlpools of emotions. You gave him a sad smile, shaking your head.

“no, not really” you spoke, “he kind of hinted at what he was gonna do y’know? didn’t wanna say it out loud so we kind of, i guess just didn’t wanna say it” you mumbled, “made it too real” you smiled at him again, not wanting to make his mood any worse.

“don’t you- how are you so okay with it? I mean it’s just- don’t you feel like if you did more he wouldn’t have left?” Bucky asked, desperation in his eyes.

Everything clicked in your mind instantly. Your stomach fell and your heart broke in your chest, Bucky’s sad eyes and slumped shoulders told you everything you had to know. The way he couldn’t even keep eye contact with you for longer than three seconds, how he fumbled with something when he spoke. You wiped the frown of your face before giving him a reassuring smile, scooting closer to him.

“sometimes i do” you nodded, picking at some fuzz on your blanket, “i do find myself wondering if i had given him different advice throughout the time i knew him if he would’ve made a different choice” you spoke softly, bucky looked at you, watching the way your lips poured slightly.

“I’ll think ‘maybe if i had asked him to stay for dinner one more time’ or if i made him more hot chocolate” you chuckled softly, bucky smiled at your words, sadness filling his chest as he realized how hurt you must be.

“you shouldn’t blame yourself y/n, you did your best” he whispered, clearing his throat before continuing, “i mean you brought him so much comfort and helped him through so much, in the end it was his choice and that’s not on you” he finished, hands shaking slightly. Bucky was silent as you nodded.

“listen to yourself buck” you smiled, placing a hand on his, “it’s not your fault, you did your best, you meant so much to him and you always will” you assured him, squeezing his hand in yours. Bucky was quiet as you gave him soft smiles.

“I didn’t mean me-” he began but you shook your head.

“you were his best friend for his whole life, he talked about you all the time, spent years looking for you to get you back” bucky let out a shaky breath. “You were good enough, you are good enough james.”

The firmness in your voice made bucky look up, your eyes were set and serious. Bucky tried to find any trace of lies, but your words were sincere and settled in his bones like a warm fireplace.

“it’s just- i wish-” his voice cracked and his bottom lip quivered, tears stinging his eyes. He was embarrassed, moving to wipe his tear quickly.

You beat him to it, your hand caressing his cheek and softly wiping away at the tears. You moved you hand to the back of his neck and softly pulled him into you, shaking your arms around him as best you could.

Bucky cried into your shoulder, mumbling incoherent sentences as sobs racked his body. You help him tightly, rubbing his back soothingly and whispering to him it would be okay.

“you’re okay, i got you” you whispered, “I’m here let it out sweets, it’s okay.”

Bucky knew he should feel embarrassed for crying like this, in front of you, someone he barely knew. Your words were too comforting to let him and your presence far too warm to even let him consider leaving you at this moment in time.

You didn’t mind one bit that bucky was crying into your favorite t shirt, you held him tighter, giving him all the time he needed to calm down.

By the time Bucky’s cries had softened to soft hiccups he pulled away from you, eyes red and cheeks tear stained. His nose was pink and he sniffled softly, using the back of his hands to run his eyes.

You silently handed him some tissues, softly letting him know where the bathroom is. He smiled at you softly, getting up from the couch and heading to your restroom. You sat in silence as you waited for bucky to come back, sighing softly to yourself. You closed your eyes for a second, blinking away a couple tears and getting snacks from your pantry, putting on your comfort show and switching to the pilot episode.

Bucky washed his face with cold water, smiling at the fact that your bathroom smelled like eucalyptus. His dried his face and washed his hands, letting out a shaky sigh before looking at himself in the mirror, frowning at how broken he looked. He tore his gaze away and turned off the lights, walking out and seeing you sitting on the couch cross legged.

You smiled up at bucky, patting the seat next to you and moving so he could sit. The couch dipped a little as he sat down, grabbing the blanket and bundling it in his lap.

“when I’m upset i watch this show, it always cheers me up” you spoke to him gently, “that is if you aren’t leaving, i don’t wanna hold you hostage or anything” you chuckled and bucky smiled at you, laughing softly.

“no i- do you think i can stay a bit longer?” He asked and you nodded, linking your arms together and pulling each other closer.

“you can stay for however long you want” bucky felt his heart grow in his chest, how could you be so warm and welcoming to him? He didn’t question it for long though, your dazzling smile and sparkling eyes cleared his mind.

“ready?” You smiled and he nodded, watching as you hurried to press play, adjusting the volume and grinning as the show began.

Bucky couldn’t help but steal glances at you, smiling at how you mouthed the lines, offering him snacks if he hadn’t touched them in a while, constantly making sure he was okay.

Relaxation. He finally felt relaxed, his jaw was unclenched and his brows were furrowed, he had a small smile on his face. His muscles were relaxed as the showed played on your tv, your body heat radiating onto Buckys side.

You looked up to comment on something in the show but quickly stopped when you realized bucky had fallen asleep. His eyes were closed and he just looked so soft.

You smiled as you looked at him, moving some pillows quietly so you wouldn’t wake him. You helped him lay down and set the blanket on top of him, telling him to go back to sleep when he stirred slightly. For the first time since steve had left Buckys slept peacefully. He found comfort and assurance with you.

Steve was always looking out for bucky, always saying that he had to pay him back for all those fights bucky saved him from in the 40’s. Steve helped him get out of hydra, helped him get his mind back.

Bucky smiled at you as you pet alpine in your lap, dozing off as you struggled to stay awake before finally giving into sleep. He picked you up swiftly, tucking you into bed like you had done with him nearly a year ago. He kissed your forehead gently before sliding into bed next to you, falling asleep quickly with you by his side.

Now even after he was gone, he was helping him heal. And for that, he was forever grateful.

[binunus]

sex with bin x eunwoo (m)

a/n THIS WHOLE ALBUM??? IS SO GOOD??? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK !!!

also im so so sorry that i keep disappearing, every time I think I have a break in school, my professors keep going like sike here’s a new assignment and group presentation 🤡, but I swear I’m still working on all the requests, it’s just a real slow progression this time 😔

but thank you all so much for being really patient with me and my works, i legit wanna cry when I think about how sweet all you loves are ❤️

→ genre: smut

→ tw: threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it lovies) dom!binwoo, brat!reader, light bondage?? anal, eiffel tower, oral (f and m receiving), fingering (f and m receiving), ~choking~ bc it’s me, squirting, v-voyeurism??

→ word count: 3.3k _________________________________

oh good fucking lord

I don’t even know where to start

just the thought of getting dicked down by these two immaculate men??? at the same time??? i would sell my soul

and just binwoo are literally my biases?? im still going back and forth between them (even though I think bin is the top)

alright so how does this little thing even start

this is a non-idol au, lowkey this request is giving me frat boy vibes oops i said it

bin and eunwoo are close, they’re best buds

they have fucked the same guy/girl before, but never at the same time

they just have the same taste in people wink wonk

sidenote: bin and eunwoo as bi kings??? so much power fuck

so you are a mutual friend

you met them both in college and have stayed friends since then

but relationships aren’t for you (not yet at least)

the streets™ are still your companion

yes you have fucked both bin and eunwoo before in college, eunwoo once when you were junior, and bin a couple times throughout senior year

you don’t talk to them often, but if something comes up on your feed or a monumental event happens to any one of you, of course you’d spike up some conversation

so you’re coming back in town for a week or so, visiting old friends and family

and bin hits you up like “hey, I saw that you were in town! we should get some dinner and catch up!”

and you were not about to say no to that, bin was a good part of your college years! it would be nice to hang out with him again

alright you weren’t expecting to get action from this dinner – it popped in your mind, yes, but it wasn’t the ulterior motive

but did you try to dress up a little to impress moon bin?? maybe so

and shit, when he showed up to the restaurant looking like a whole ass man?? 

like did his biceps look more appetizing than the food you were being served? a little bit

conversation was exchanged very easily, you and bin were always a bit flirty with each other, ever since college, but you both knew it never meant anything beyond sex

and so when he asked if you were dating anyone, you knew this was the invitation, and were you going to accept it?? 100%, you haven’t had sex in a while because of your job

and so you find yourself back in bin’s apartment

bin: hm? I guess eunwoo’s not home from work yet

you: eunwoo? as in cha eunwoo? you guys still live together?

bin: yeah, we like living together, rent was cheaper that way, and this place is equidistant from both of our work places...is that a problem??

you: no, I mean it makes sense, just...what if eunwoo comes back while we’re in the middle of fucking...wouldn’t that be weird?

bin shrugging: you’ve had sex with eunwoo in college too, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen me naked before either. who knows he might even wanna join?

he said that as a joke alright

but as soon as he mentioned it, your eyes dilated a bit

bin noticed immediately and he caged you against the wall, a little smirk playing on his lips

bin: you seem to like that idea, y/n. hm? you wanna get fucked by both me and eunwoo? didn’t know you were into threesomes

your cheeks are flushing, you felt seen: would you feel weird if he joined? you guys are friends and roommates

bin shaking his head: me and eunwoo have talked about it before, and honestly this seems like the perfect opportunity. we’re all friends here.

you being nervous a little bit bc a threesome?? with both bin and eunwoo?? those two 6 foot attractive men??

you tried a threesome before bc you were curious, but it wasn’t the best hookup experience

you: should we...? wait for him??

your cheeks are flushed a little, like how were you supposed to go about this

bin smiles bc you look a bit cute right now being all shy and he just pinches your cheek

bin: you got cuter since we graduated y/n

you: shut the fuck up bin, don’t make me tie you up again

bin smirks and his hand moves from your cheek to fully grasp at your neck, he squeezes your throat as he pushes you so that your back collided with the wall: baby, if anyone’s getting tied up tonight, it’s gonna be you

and god if you weren’t horny before, you definitely are now, especially with the way bin was cutting off your airflow??? your head was spinning in the best kind of way

bin slotting his thigh in between your legs as he just crashes his lips onto yours

and he’s still choking you when he literally shoves his tongue down your throat, you have to grab onto his broad shoulders just to steady yourself

making out with bin is so hot

he picks you up by your ass and you wrap your legs around his waist, you both are still making out as he leads you to the couch

you’re straddling him oh lord have mercy

you in between kisses: why don’t we go to your room? what, is it messy?

you moan as he spanks your ass at the quip: we’re gonna need to do something about that smart mouth of yours baby...and we’re here to give eunwoo a little show when he comes home. Why, you need a bed? pillow princess? last time I remember, you were fine getting fucked in the maintenance room.

you two go back to kissing, bin’s hands were gripping at your waist now, lifting up the bottom of your shirt so that you could take it off

never in your life have you been so happy to wear a skirt, you could feel the outline of his bulge against your underwear, the fabric of his jeans giving you just enough friction

and when you start grinding on him, he grunts into your mouth and bites on your lower lip

and fuck when bin removes his shirt? he was always built in college but the definition of his muscles now?? you were literally drooling

you: holy shit bin, isn’t your job in business? where do you find the time to workout?

he’s kissing your neck now: you can always find time to workout y/n, just make it part of your daily routine

exercise evangelist moonbin™

you’re tilting your head to the side giving him more access, bin’s sucking hickeys into your neck and it just feels so good

your neck’s a sensitive spot, if you couldn’t tell

and bin knows that so he’s paying extra attention to your neck, you don’t even notice when his hands go around your torso to unclasp your bra

the two of you are literally just topless on his couch, making out and feeling each other up, when lo and behold, eunwoo comes home

his eyes go wide and he immediately covers his face: jesus christ bin, go to your fucking room

bin starts laughing, you know his laugh where his eyes literally crinkle and he smiles so wide and his laugh increases in pitch, that one

you can’t help but laugh too, you thought you would be embarrassed, but this is a bit funny

you: you don’t have to cover your eyes eunwoo, it’s not like you haven’t seen any of this before

eunwoo: oh shit, hey y/n, didn’t know you were coming over?? well...uh if you guys aren’t gonna go to bin’s room, I’m going to mine and just let me know when you’re done

bin: you sure you wanna go to your room? y/n wants you to join us

eunwoo’s blushing a little bit (he’s not covering his face anymore) when you two meet eyes: are you sure y/n?

you get a bit shy again bc shit, eunwoo in a suit coming from work with silver-blue hair? sexy

you: yeah...if you want to, me and bin are cool with it.

bin’s back to kissing your neck as you basically watch eunwoo remove his jacket and tie

and oof him unbuttoning his dress shirt? y’all he’s a tease, they both are

bin: let’s take this back to my room

eunwoo: we can go to mine, it’s cleaner and my bed’s bigger

you: i knew it

bin bites your shoulder and you let out a mix between a yelp of pain and a moan

bin: eunwoo get your ropes, we need to teach y/n a lesson on being bratty

eunwoo chuckling as he leads the way to his bedroom

bin already made himself comfortable on eunwoo’s bed, and you’re standing to the side making conversation as eunwoo looks through his closet for the ropes lol

as soon as eunwoo finds it, there’s a dark change in his eyes and he smirks at you: why don’t you join binnie on the bed, y/n?

your stomach turns in excitement, eunwoo tosses the ropes to bin and he puts a hand on your back as he leads you to his bed, and before you could get on by yourself, eunwoo just tugs your skirt down making you gasp

you lie down and bin grins as he binds your wrists to eunwoo’s headboard, usually you would put up a little fight when you get tied up, but you just stayed silent, you were anticipating what would happen next

bin: you’re being oddly obedient y/n

you’re a brat okay, but in the past when you and bin used to hook up, your brattiness increased by like 100%, like you’re extra bratty with bin for some reason

~it is what it is~

maybe it’s because eunwoo’s here too that your bratty side has suppressed a bit

bin and eunwoo both start removing all their clothes and you’re like shit eunwoo’s built too

bin settles in between your legs and eunwoo leans in and starts kissing you

and mmm eunwoo’s good at making out like he legit be taking your breath away and then you start feeling bin take off your soaked panties and he just goes right in

you literally moan into eunwoo’s mouth and your hands are straining against the ropes bc you just want to hold onto something !!

eunwoo feeling up your breasts and tweaking your nipples while bin is sucking on your clit and probing his tongue in and out your entrance??? euphoric

you’re literally feeling so many sensations right now and it’s just foreplay woo

and then the edging starts

bin??? hella good at eating out, oof what that mouth do

and with the added stimulation from eunwoo kissing your neck and pulling at your nips, you’re reaching your orgasm faster than anticipated

and suddenly they’re both off you

you: what the fuck?

you’re like gasping and glaring at the both of them and they just give you smug looks

bin: I don’t know if you deserve to cum just yet, y/n. right, eunwoo?

eunwoo chuckling as he nods and flicks at your nipple: binnie told me that you like talking back, hmmm that won’t work with both of us here y/n

your submissiveness kicking in and you’re whining: i won’t talk back, I promise

bin: I don’t know if I believe you y/n

and then they switch places and now bin’s making out with you again and eunwoo’s face to face with your cunt and he just shoves two fingers in your entrance and starts scissoring you

and right as you’re about to cum, they pull away again

this goes on at least two more times, you’re literally so frustrated tears are pooling in your eyes and you’re whining hard as hell, your wrists already aching from the ropes 

eunwoo: do you want us to untie you, y/n?

you nodding as you’re sniffling back the tears

aww they feel bad so eunwoo unties the ropes and he’s like gently rubbing at your wrists

bin wiping your tears away as he pinches at your cheek again

bin: you okay, y/n?

you: I’m so close, please

bin: alright baby, who do you want first, hm?

you honestly didn’t know, you had no preference, you just wanted to get railed

eunwoo: why not both?

your eyes go wide a little bit, your ass isn’t even prepped

bin sensing your hesitation and he just puts a hand on your waist: if you don’t want to--

you: no, i want to...I’m just...my ass isn’t ready...

eunwoo laughing cutely as he pats your thigh: we’ll prep you baby, don’t worry

you start by going on all fours, bin enters you first from behind and the groan he lets out bc you’re just so tight wow 

he literally has to restrain himself from just ramming into you, your walls just fit so snugly around him, his nails were digging into the skin of your waist

you open your mouth in a moan at the stretch and in that moment, eunwoo shoves his cock down your throat you literally gag

for reference, they’re both above average, no surprise there, I’d say both around 8 in., but bin’s girthier for sure

and so bin’s fucking your cunt while eunwoo’s fucking your mouth

simultaneously, eunwoo tugs at your hair and bin sneaks a finger down to gather some juices from your pussy before probing at your asshole

bin’s prepping you real well mmmmm

he’s literally fingering your ass while he’s pounding into you, the tip of his cock hitting so deep in your cervix

on the other hand you’re so focused on sucking eunwoo off, you take him as deep in your throat as you could, letting your jaw slack as he just thrusted in your mouth

and also the vibrations of your moans around his cock every time bin hits deep in you???

eunwoo swears he almost busts a nut when your hands reach up to play with his balls

he’s panting as he pulls your mouth off his cock: I need to be inside you before I cum

and then he’s lying down on his back and you start to ride eunwoo, and then bin lines his cock up at your other hole and you start to tense

eunwoo bringing you into a kiss to try and distract you from the pain your asshole’s about to feel

and you start hissing as bin starts to push in, you’re clenching so hard around eunwoo and tugging tightly at the ends of his hair

eunwoo starts making circles on your clit so that you could relax a bit to make it easier for bin to enter your back hole

and then the three of you just stay still for a bit when bin finally bottoms out, you’re still trying to get used to feeling stuffed full, you haven’t been fucked in so long and now you’re getting railed by two cocks??

the two of them are both saying sweet things to calm you down and distract you from the pain

and it’s cute, you know from your respective past hookup experiences with them that they’re really good at sensing discomfort or pain and would always tend to your needs

oof baby but as soon as you give the okay for both of them to move

it’s like you’re taken to another dimension holy shit

they both hit so deep, you swear to god their cocks have to be touching or something, or maybe at least reaching your intestines

when people say rearrange your guts, it definitely must have been this

you’re trying to set a pace on top of eunwoo, but bin thrusting from behind literally makes your knees go weak until eunwoo just lifts his hips and takes over, matching bin’s speed

and imagine this: bin pulling your hair, making your head tilt back and eunwoo just reaches up and covers your neck with his hand before he squeezes at your throat

your eyes are literally rolling into the back of your head, you have never felt this good ever in your life

your head’s spinning again, and you know all three of you are reaching the tipping point pretty soon, your stomach is churning, making you clench hard around both eunwoo and bin

eunwoo biting his lip as he groans, his grip tightening just a bit more around your neck

bin’s still yanking your hair back and he starts spanking your ass, he’s moaning as well

you literally scream, throat feeling raw, as you cum, you have never orgasmed so hard before, your body was convulsing around both of them and you just collapse on top of eunwoo

you’re vision literally sees white and your ears are ringing as they both cum in you

you black out for a little bit

eunwoo and bin: o_o holy fuck

the two of them start panicking like...did they just fuck you dead?? put you in a coma??

okay but just imagine eunwoo and bin bickering with each other about what to do like

bin: do we call 119???

eunwoo: what do we say? we fucked our friend into a coma?

it’s okay because you regain consciousness soon enough and both boys let out the biggest sigh of relief

you: ...what happened?

eunwoo: you passed out for a bit there y/n

you start giggling, much to their surprise, and you try to sit up

bin: ...are you okay y/n?

you: yeah, I can’t believe I blacked out because you guys fucked me so well, that’s pretty hot not gonna lie

eunwoo goes into the kitchen real quick to get you some water and bin sits down next to you

you thank eunwoo when he hands you the glass and he sits across from you and bin

the two roommates exchange a look and just high-five each other

you roll your eyes as they just laugh at each other...ugh boys

bin teasing you: I’ve never seen you so submissive y/n

eunwoo joining in: yeah, didn’t know you could squirt as well

you almost spit out the water: i-huh? no way

eunwoo: yeah, my stomach was soaked, I wiped it off when you were out

your face flushes, you’ve never squirted before

bin: don’t be embarrassed! it was hot, y/n, really

the three of you then just jump into a casual conversation about college, keep in mind you’re all still naked

and then you feel the cum just like in both your holes and it’s just uncomfortably sticky

you: uh...do you guys mind if I shower? my pussy feels gross right now

bin, with a glint in his eyes: I can clean that up for you, baby

before you know it, bin’s eating you out again -- to be more specific, he’s literally licking the mixture of yours and eunwoo’s cum from your cunt

that’s sexy...

you make eye contact with eunwoo and he’s just smirking as he sits back and watches you two, no intention on joining yet

alright but you had no idea if you could take another round right now, the first one literally made you pass out

so after bin makes you cum again, you tap out for the night

the three of you shower -- separately -- and then regroup in the living room to just chat and chill

the two insist you sleep over for the night since it’s past midnight by now

were there also hints of a round two in the morning?? maybe

you sleep in one of eunwoo’s shirts, but end up sleeping next to bin bc he’s whiny and likes cuddling

you three fuck again in the morning oops until eunwoo had to leave for work

then you and bin fuck again afterwards

happy threesome

happy comeback :)

4-5-21

[thefanficmonster]

Deep Breaths

Valkyrae x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Panic Attack, Mentions of past domestic abuse, Mentions of alcohol and drug abuse, Swearing

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst to Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having received a call from the correctional facility where their alcoholic/drug addict mother is being kept, Y/N gets some intense nightmarish flashbacks to a time that still haunts them despite a decade having passed. Luckily their girlfriend Rae is there to comfort therm.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request, I hope I captured what you wanted to read! Sorry it has taken me so long to complete and post the fic, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Love, Vy ❤

“Hey Y/N, I-“ One step in the living room and that’s all it took for Rae to pick up on the melancholic mood in the room. 

Her partner hasn’t even noticed she’s entered. Instead, they are sitting hunched over on the couch, elbows on knees, hand seeking their hands’ support to stay upright and their eyes hiding a thousand yard stare that’s got Rae worried sick.

“Babe, what’s wrong?“ She asks softly, inching closer to the couch to take a seat next to Y/N, “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?“

Through the fog surrounding their brain, they somehow manage to catch onto Rae’s words, forcing themself to give her at least a nod in response as to not scare her with their unresponsiveness. They can’t bring themselves to speak, it’s too hard on them to even think of what to say let alone spit it out, especially when their chest feels like it’s caught fire and their mind is still going haywire, heartbeat thumping in their ears as the adrenaline rush refuses to cease.

“Hey, look at me...“ Instead of sitting down, Rae ducks down in front of Y/N, taking their hands in hers, almost wincing at how cold they were. “Tell me what’s bothering you, baby.“

The girl is trying her best not to freak out or lose her cool, despite her already quickened heartbeat she can hear in her ears. She has every right to be reacting the way she is. Her permanently happy, bubbly, optimistic and cheerful partner who always seems to be as energized as though they’d just had a gallon of coffee is now a pale ghost sitting statue-still, staring off into the void with eyes that look empty yet terrified simultaneously.

Y/N’s mouth falls open as though they want to say something but the words die out somewhere along the way, refusing to leave their mouth and give them the relief of sharing their pain with the only person they trust limitlessly.  “I-...“ They finally manage to find their voice though their gaze is still avoiding hers, “I got a call from the correctional facility where....” They trail off, a bitter taste forming in their mouth, making their stomach turn and bite the inside of their cheek as they feel the urge to throw up start to become unbearable. “She wants to s-see me...”

They don’t need to say anything else, Rae’s already connected the dots and her complexion has gone just as pale as theirs. She knows how sensitive and triggering this topic is for Y/N, how many bad memories are tied to this one person in their life. To make matters worse, they’re the one person who was supposed to take care of them yet she couldn’t even take care of herself - Y/N’s mother.

Rae distinctly remembers the night Y/N told her the truth about their family life - or the lack thereof - almost a year since the two had started dating. Rae never questioned their secretiveness and respected their privacy enough not to ask about it, patiently waiting for them to tell her on their own time and own terms. It was no secret even from the very start that Y/N had a very hard time connecting to people and trusting them. It took them maybe two or so months to be able to call their now-girlfriend a friend instead of an acquaintance. Rae didn’t question that too, didn’t push to pursue a friendship with them since, from her point of view, they were already her friend, so she patiently waited for them to come around and start trusting her enough to accept her within their tightknit circle of trusted people called ‘friends’. 

Things progressed from purely platonic to sweetly romantic a little more quickly which pleasantly surprised Rae. The two were quick to grow to be inseparable though that didn’t mean Y/N gave up all their secrets. The darkest one, which happens to be this one regarding their mother, is the one they hid the longest and the last one they had to share with their girlfriend.  The night they did tell it was a very emotional one: plenty of tears were shed by both Y/N and Rae but luckily they had each other’s embrace to seek comfort in and protect themselves from the ghosts and demons of a past Y/N spent so much time running away from.

An abusive parent is not a bit of baggage you can just get rid of. It’s something that weighs so heavy on you and is such a big part of who you are that you can feel it as a part of you. It haunts you no matter how much you try to run or hide. It’s not something you can shake off or forget. You might have physical and visible scars from the time spent with said parent or the trauma can be entirely psychological - regardless, it lives within you. Follows you around, raises questions you’re not sure you want answered, degrades you - making it seem like what happened was your fault in one way or another - it destroys you slowly very time something triggers a memory of that time, be it a simple conversation that has nothing to do with the subject or be it the glimpse you accidentally catch in the mirror of a scar on your body - a scar you remember being inflicted on you like it was yesterday.

That’s how Y/N’s been living. Feeling responsible, feeling unloved, feeling chained to their past. They’ve done all in their power to appear unbothered and let it be visible, not even when around Rae since they don’t want to worry her.

But seeing as their past has caught up to them now and they inevitably have to face it, they’re forced to let it show, they couldn’t hold it in even if they tried. Although they don’t wanna play the unbothered, unfazed part any longer. They have been strong on their own for far too long and it’s taken a toll on them. If they keep up with the act, they’ll be completely and utterly crushed.

Not that they’re feeling any better at the moment.

“Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me. Keep your eyes on me, ok? Take deep breaths. Deep breaths, baby. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. It’s ok. You’re ok.“ Their short-circuiting brain has been spasming under the influence of the adrenaline, anxiety and panic brought on by the memories of every time they felt small and helpless while at the merciless hand of their alcoholic, drug addict abusive mother, begging to be spared the pain of being hit with whatever object the deranged woman could get her hands on - yet somehow, Rae’s voice still reaches them through all that messy dark fog. “Come on, Y/N, stay with me ok? Please don’t do this, I’m right here, there’s no need to be afraid,”

“I...“ they can barely hear their own voice over the racing of their heart, “I don’t...I don’t wanna go....“ is all they manage to say, a tear falling from their eye.

“It’s ok, we don’t have to go. We won’t go. Your mental health is the most important thing here, Y/N. We’re not going and that’s final.“ Rae replies vigorously, tightening her hold on Y/N’s hands.

Despite the state they’re in, Y/N can’t help but take notice of the use of the word ‘we’, Rae’s reminder that they are not alone, that she’s there for them and will not let them go into this alone. That brings a small smile to their face, calming their heart and panic ever so slightly, “N-no, I have to. It...it’ll help me.” They sigh before attempting to express themself again, “It’ll give me...closure, I guess.”

Seeing that Y/N’s doing a bit better, Rae’s hand move to cup their face instead, pushing the stray strands of hair away for their features to be full exposed to her, especially their eyes, “Are you sure you want that? Can you handle it? It’s not supposed to be your obligation, Y/N. I mean, the woman’s a monster and she hasn’t even thought to contact you in half a decade, and now she suddenly wants to get back in contact? She has the audacity to disturb you after all this time? You don’t have to agree to this, Y/N.”

Y/N shakes their head, “No, no, I want to. I want to agree to this. I want to live a normal life, Rae. I want to leave her and all she did to me behind. And I can’t do that if I keep running away. What happens when I stop to catch my breath? It still catches up to me like I made no progress whatsoever. That’s not a way to live, not the way I wanna live, at least.”

Rae nods slowly, fully understanding what Y/N is referring to. She maybe hasn’t said anything about it ever, but she’s always seen that little bit of darkness behind the happiness and excitement Y/N always displayed. Rae’s heart ached every time she caught glimpse of those little signs Y/N was putting on a performance while actually hurting on the inside. 

And if a meeting with their mother was what would help them finally fully embrace a happy life, then who was she to stop them.

“Ok.“ The girl sighs, “Ok, we’ll go see her, but only if you’re 100% sure you’ll be able to handle it.“

They shake their head again, sighing with unease, “I can never be 100% sure, my emotions have a tendency of being unpredictable so I’ll just have to pray I don’t have a breakdown or a panic attack.”

Rae swipes her thumb over their cheekbone wiping the tear that just escaped their eye, “If you do, don’t worry, I’ll be right there. You know the drill: squeeze my hand, take deep breaths and most importantly, don’t forget I’m there for you. Ok?”

Y/N nods their head, the small smile reappearing on their face. They squeeze Rae’s hand and take a long inhale. “Hand squeeze, deep breaths, noted.” They say when their eyes meet hers, “Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you so much for putting up with me and all my shit and thank you so much for never giving up on me no matter how much work I am or how hard dealing with me and my demons becomes.”

Rae’s heart stings at Y/N’s words, tears brimming her eyes when she raises a bit on her knees to press her lips against Y/N’s forehead. “Don’t thank me, angel. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and I never want to get gratitude for it. Love doesn’t ask for gratitude, and neither do I.”

Y/N lets out a small laugh to cover up an emotional sob that escapes their lungs. “I love you, Rae.” They say with a trembling voice.

“I love you too, Y/N.“

This time, the Y/N’s lips met the lips of their girlfriend, reminding themself that their safe haven isn’t a place, it’s a person - their girlfriend who means the world to them.

[minshookie]

CEO!BTS Reaction to:

You flinching during an argument.

| !warning! | violence, unhealthy relationships, abusive relationship, yandere Bts, choking and sexual topics 18+, dubcon, oral [fem receiving & giving], strong language [Jimin has a potty mouth!!!] rough play.

| this is not in anyway shape or form a true depiction or representation of BTS, this is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously. For entertainment purposes only.|(this is my work, please don’t repost or steal)

| Requested [requests open]

A/N | the amount of time I’m taking to get these request done correctly is embarrassing i apologize. I hope you don’t mind that I turned this into a whole reaction and that it’s not fluffy...lmk if you’d like me to change it I certainly will.

Forgive me for mistakes, though this is edited.

Kim Seokjin...

“Ok well what was that out there?” He spoke ominously back turned to you. “I- we-.” Laughing at your lack of response, he cut you off. “You fucked up that’s what it was hun.”

“Come sit on the desk, I want to see you apologize for making me look like an idiot.” He spat the last part like it was disgusting on his tongue. Already in deep trouble you decided to follow directions for once.

Turing smoothly in his office chair, you could see the resentment in his eyes. “Go on.” You swallowed thickly, his angered glare drying your throat. “I’m sorry for....correcting you during today’s meeting.” He scoffed, “there was nothing to correct!”

“Jin you can’t always be right, if you took that agreement, you’d never hit anything close to pro-” “who’s the boss? Hm? Who’s name is on this desk you have your tight ass planted on?” Mistakingly you let your eyes roll out of pure annoyance.

“Well excuse me?!” He leans forward quickly out of his chair, causing you to fall opposite of him. Pens poke at your back, his name plaque digging into your arm. Evilly he grins in enjoyment. “Found your place yet?, you seem afraid...afraid I’d hit you?” Wide eyed you nod, trapped like a mouse under its predator. Every inch of confidence stripped as he glared deeply into you. “Good.” Before you could even process his statement, you were harshly distracted by his rough hand landing across your cheek. Your head turns the other way as your right cheek tingles and burns. Chuckling he grips your chin forcing you to look at him.

“Find your place, and if you’ve forgotten it, I can help you find it...just like that,anytime.”

Min Yoongi...

Watching in envy, you pushed miscellaneous papers into the shredder. What a bitch! You saw her watching Yoongi all day just waiting for him to go to his office. So she could prance in there, thong up her ass, low cut shirt...the works.

“Yah! Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” Jumping in fear , peeking down you found out what you’ve been shredding. He shoved you to the side turning off the shredder. “All those papers we needed for next week’s evaluation and review meeting...” you looked from the shredder back to him shrugging nonchalantly. Already having Somebody in your boyfriends office flirting him into hard on, the last thing you need is more work. “We’ll go fucking print some more of them.” He demanded his face stiff. Jin never liked you, maybe you’ll have Yoongi fire him.

You walked holding the last remaining sheet fully intact for reference, did Jin really think you were going to the copy room? What a dunce. Ignoring the meeting in progress light you pushed the heavy door open. “Hey y/n I’m sorry we’re in the middle of something.” You could tell he was just laughing at something a tint of red on his cheeks. Him kicking you out...this should be the other way. This hurt. “Me?” You gasped. She turned her silky hair fanning. “Y/n when we’re done I’ll come find you Alright?” She spoke a little above a whisper.“Don’t speak to me.” You glared at her walking further into the office. Obviously she’s confused about her rightful place, and Yoongi is too.

“You, get out.” She stretched her eyes looking back and forth from you to Yoongi. “Now.” “Min you can’t let her kick me out.” She scoffed, “I’ll speak to you later alright.” He smiled warmly,She got up storming from his room. “Yoongi what exactly was that?” He sat back in his chair. “A meeting.” “A meeting with what her left tit?” He closed his eyes harshly at your vulgarity. “No a meeting with your colleague about her position.” He offers the seat in front of him, gladly you take said offer.

“But what you did was uncalled for.” Laughing he leaned forward onto the table. He beacons you to follow, leaning forward you fall right into his trap upset he gripped your face making your cheeks squish. “Don’t ever come back in my office acting this way again, understood?” Nodding the best you could. “Huh? Understood?” “Yeah!” He let go leaving a ache in his wake. Before going back he reached for you again instinctively you pull back as if he was going to strike you. “Hm, I don’t treat you that harsh but I will...keep testing me.” He finished, only coming close to fix your hair.

Kim Namjoon...

Another day held the same daily routine, wake up Joon, cook breakfast, clean get dressed and head to work, work, eat lunch in Joon’s office, work,go home, and restart.

Today Joon had lunch delivered, practically throwing his money like confetti paper, much to the delight of his employees. Both of you sat on the floor of his office, enjoying the home style take out in silence. Without noticing all your attention was being absorbed by your phone. “What’s so intriguing kitten?” Your fingers stopped in their place “just texting a friend.” You looked at him through your lashes before going back to typing. He closed his take out container, he finished his meal and sneakily proceeded onto yours. Surprised by your lack of protests he spoke again.

“Oh yeah? And whose this friend?” He mumbled still chewing. “Someone I might know?” You nodded in response, unsatisfied he got up going to wash his hands in his office restroom. “Their name would be helpful y/n.” Just from his tone alone you could tell he was nearing impatience. “He works here, I’m just helping him...explaining how the log in system works he’s locked out at the moment.”

Joon no longer cared for their name and you knew it. “Oh ‘he’?” You nodded, he came drying his hands with his initialed towels. “New guy...Choi?” You looked up fully for the first time in a while. “Yeah, Soobin.” He nodded,Sitting in his desk turning to some papers. Nothing left to say you looked back down at your massages. “I’d like you to eat though, I don’t want you going hungry.” He ordered you around like a father and you obeyed.

Chewing, you almost choked as Soobin sent a joke that you weren’t ready for. Joon raised a brow, “a funny one huh? Let me see.” He looked down at you hand out flat. Your eyes went doe, there is no way your letting Joon read this vulgar joke. Soobin would be out of a job just as quick as he got one. “C’mon let me see, don’t make me take it.” Maybe he’ll laugh about it too, you gave up the device.

At first he squinted before his eyes grew wide. “ ‘This copy machine looks like the one from those cheesy office pornos....let’s make one?’ Y/N this is who you’re waisting your time on?” Rolling your eyes you went back to your meal, annoyed he didn’t find the harmless joke amusing. “Joon he was joking, it’s not like he knows I’m dating someone.”

You felt wind brush past you and a crashing sound occurred from behind, startled you made eye contact. “I had half the mind to throw that piece of shit at your head.” His angered expression taking you aback, you must’ve forgotten Joon is the extremely jealous type. “Go get it, bring it back to me.” Slowly turning trying not to take your eye off of him, you retrieved the shattered phone. Harshly he took it from your hands. Tapping before turning it to you, “block him.” You flinched at his sudden hand movement. “Don’t flinch away from me, block the bastard, before I’m the one bending you over the copy machine.”

Jung Hoseok...

Slouching in the pool chair you observed as the other women splashed and paddled around like children. You don’t usually go to these types of things, and neither does Hoseok. But this time it was important, he was here solely to kiss butt with his new business partners.

He practically forced you to put on your swimsuit, fully planning on walking you around like a show dog for the evening. Crossing your legs you brought your straw to your lips. You’d planned on getting in the pool, but apparently you weren’t good enough for the other wives...or affairs in the pool at the moment.So to spare the embarrassment you decided to watch.

“Enjoying yourself?” Hoseok came behind you patting your head softly. “Hm I guess.” You placed your drink away. “Hobi I’m ready to go. home.” You pouted, his hand still on the chair he came to your side. “Home? We’ve just got here an hour ago.” Nodding at his true statement you turned to look at him. “Yeah...and now I’m ready to go home.” Rolling his eyes he squatted to your level. “C’mon baby, go make a friend in the pool, splash around yeah?”

“No, I’m tired.” He groaned putting his head on your shoulder. “Y/n, boo don’t be a brat, you wanna go inside, wanna find a bed for you?” “Hm will you stay with me?” He looked over his shoulder, “ah Bruce wants to talk cuts and coverage a bit more, I can show you to a ro-” “nooo hobi!”

Panicking he pinched you to lower your volume. The party in the pool ceased and all eyes were on you. You’d learned how to cheat the system,It usually didn’t take much pouting from you to get your way. “c’mon get up.” He pulled me roughly by my forearm almost making you trip over your feet. He pulled you into the spacious home, up the stairs and into a hall. “Here let’s go in this room hobi.” You could tell by the look on his face hobi didn’t come to rest.

“Do you get off on making me look like an idiot?” He spoke close to your face. “Hey, I told you i wanted-” he covered your mouth with his large hand. “I don’t give a fuck what you want, now shut up and get in that fucking room.” Meekly you followed his order. “I’m sorry hobi.” “Ah I said shut up!” You stood in the middle of the decretive room, “down.” Down on your knees before him he looked down disgusted.

“Now make my cock hard so I can teach you how to use your loud ass mouth correctly.” Hesitantly you leaned forward, he groaned loudly reaching for you making you backwards in response. “Quickly, and don’t you dare run away.” He grabbed your hair, now under his full control.

Kim Taehyung...

“Mm how does it feel being my right hand lady?”

“Well seems like I’m on top of you right now.”

“I love how smart you are baby.”

Taehyung had recently promoted you to his secretary, now you can’t help but be in his office all day. Dreamily he looked up into your eyes as you straddled him. “Round 2 huh?” He huffed making you giggle, “let’s not indulge Taetae.” You nipped at the shell of his ear, he gripped your ass tightly. “What else do you have to do, I distributed your work along all the employees you’re here to have fun!”

“Well the phone has been ringing like crazy let me answer at least one call!” You climbed off, your skirt still scrunched around your waist your panties to the side. “Ahhh the baby wants to feel like a big woman go on answer.” Smiling with accomplishment, you picked up the phone. “Hello this is y/n y/l/n, answering for Kim Taehyung.” It was actually another secretary on the line you took notes as he spoke. You felt so responsible you knew Taehyung would be proud, you looked over to see his approval only to find him not there.

Confused you held conversation, until you felt something warm glide along your thigh making you Yelp. “Ah I’m sorry, Mr Lee, repeat that?” In fear you looked under your desk, mischievously Taehyung winked at you. You went back to the conversation, as he lapped your heat. You were already so sensitive you wouldn’t last a minute more of this. “Stop it please Tae.” You hissed pressing the phone to your chest. He did the opposite, penetrating you with his longest digit. Curling his finger and assaulting your clit, if the lewd sound of slurping could be heard by you you knew it could be heard over the phone. Quickly you hung up, very upset you squeezed his head between your thighs.

“Cumming baby?” “No, quitting.” He pulled back confused “what?” You fixed you panties, pulling your skirt back over yourself. “I asked you to let me do one thing, and still you couldn’t keep off of me.” He crawled from under your desk. “Who was on the phone?” He asked dryly, you looked over your notes. “Mr Lee.” “Oh, he calls everyday for his boss they have nothing to offer so we have nothing to give.” You nodded making a note to avoid his calls. “Anything else?” He shook his head going back to his desk with a deep sigh.

Oh good grief, you huffed falling back into your chair, you’ve gotten upset with him and now he’s going to mope around. “TaeTae, please understand I do actually want to work, we’ve talked about this.” You spun your chair to look at him, he looked at you inquisitively. “Maybe you should go back downstairs, I don’t want to distract you.” You could feel your eyes stretching. “Tae! No it’s not that serious.” “No no, your cubicle is still empty, the largest one.” You crossed your arms. “You’ll get the raise you just won’t be here honey...maybe I’ll offer the position to Sana.” He turned from you to go in his computer. “No, I’m not going.” “Bye Y/n see you tonight.” He mumbled nonchalantly.

“No Taehyung.” He gave a grim chuckle. “Stop being hard headed, go fetch Sana for me will you....love you.” “No kim Taehyung, this is MY job!” The phone rung and you picked it up, “hello this is-” He came pulling the phone from you slamming it to hang it up you flinched harshly. “Y/L/N, I won’t ask you agin, get out or do what I promoted you here to do.” He looked into your eyes devilishly. You complied removing your skirt, playtime was over, you sadly knew your place. “Perfect girl.”

Park Jimin...

“I’ll beat your ass come here. Now.” You stood in his office doorway, fear quaking over you. “Y/n...now.” he leaned on his desk looking you up and down. You walked in to what seemed to be your demise. “The door, close it, lock it.” “Mr Park please.” He got up walking behind you and slamming the door before walking in front of you again. “Where the fuck! Were you.” You looked at him, head fogged unsure of an answer. “I-I Mr Park...I’ve been here at work since 3 AM actually...before you got here.” He laughed lightly.

“I didn’t want your schedule, I know your damn schedule, the meeting today’s meeting.” You toyed with your fingers, “OH...oh Mr Park I forgot you needed me I’m sorry h-how did it go?” “We fucking lost the deal, the information you dug up is what we needed and you were somewhere in LaLa land.” He dug his hands into his hair. “C‘mere.” He sat on the leather couch that decorated his office. “Please Mr Park, I’ll stay late and I’ll beg for another meeting date.” He shook his head “no, c’mere.” You stood still pleading with your eyes. “I’ll drag you by your cheap blow out, bring your ass here.” You shuffled to him, he pulled your dress bending you over his knee.

He pulled your dress up, “Mr Park what will your wife say?” You began to tear up, why would he choose you to give his violent love to. “Ha, she’ll say “fuck me harder” later tonight why?” You shook your head refusing to respond. “Look into the mirror.” You obliged. He pulled his hand up just stoping before it hit you causing you to shudder a jerk violently. “ Do you fear me y/n?” You nodded almost sobbing. “I’ve trained you well...head up...be a big girl.”

Jeon Jungkook...

The whole building was draped in a gloomy mood as Jungkook stalked about looking for something to nitpick. Earlier today you and Jungkook had a falling out on the way to work about how close you were getting with one of your male coworkers. And said coworker that just happened to be your cubicle neighbor. He rounded your area multiple times, chastising said coworker, sending him on errands and putting him down again and again.

Seeing how it was affecting the newbie, you finally turned to Jungkook. “Mr Jeon, can I speak to you.” “No.” He turned quickly before going back to chastise the frightened employee. “Slip up again, and I’ll make sure you’re looking at a deep fryer for the rest of your life Kang.” He whispered just loud enough for you to catch it.

“Mr Jeon please, for a minute.” He clears his throat leaving your area. Your face grew hotter by the minute, you got up going to talk to your distraught friend. “Hey, listen he’s all bark and no bite what do you need help with?” You smiled warmly remembering how it felt to be new in a place like this.

“Well every time I answer the phone and start the question pro-” a heavy hand lands on his and your shoulder “who said this was a social hour y/l/n” a sigh came from deep inside of you. “ Damn it Kookie-” “who? Excuse me?” His eyes widening. “Jungkook- Jeon- I’m sorry...I’m sorry Mr Jeon.” He eyed the two of you “hm...kang get to work, y/l/n you too.” He began to walk away. “Y/n I’ll send you an email, I really need help on this.”

“Email her I dare you.” You spun in your chair “Mr jeon please! He’ll never get better if I don’t.” He rolled his eyes taking off his glasses, “what was he trained for if he can’t use the damn computer?” Everyone in the office was watching the dispute. “Pft I was trained on any of this! I had you holding my hand the whole way why can’t he?” He started waking the other way, his face glowing crimson. “Get in my office, now y/n.” You sat turning to your work. “No Jeon. I won’t.” “Y/n you can come to my office, or clock out and go home for the rest of the damn month.” All eyes on you like this was some cheesy tv drama, you got up following him.

Once in the safety of his four walls you stood hands on your hips “why kookie, why you being a Jackass?” He turned to face you, anger evident. Swiftly he pulled you by your shirt “talk to me like that outside of this office space the way you did today one more time, and you’ll be begging me to fire you. Yeah?” You nodded earning a open palm slap to your cheek, “yeah? Open your slutty mouth like you did for Kang, am I understood?” “Yeah kookie.” Another slap, your cheek began to burn. “Yes Mr Jeon.” He lifted his hand making you flinch in his grip. “Lovely girl, now get out there, and leave Kang alone or else.”

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 54 Analysis

Whew! It has been a bit since our regularly scheduled meta. 8D A quick life update before we get into it: I'm currently in the midst of switching careers (in other words, job searching, interviewing, etc. etc.) and that is consuming the bulk of my time and thought, so expect further delays on this front, but know they will come all the same. I love writing the meta (and the fic) as you guys know. (^^) With that out of the way, let's take a look at this chapter because things sure happened in it. Honestly, it's kind of everything I could have hoped for. :D Namely, a theory I had going was confirmed.

And that theory is that Misha was not exactly being sincere about wanting to know Vanitas's memories. Sure, he probably would like to know, but his main goal was Noé's death.

He continues saying "You know I'm all you need! You'd be fine without that guy!" So, Misha is fully admitting his motives were incredibly selfish but in a different way than he presented to Noé. Previously he'd made it seem as though all he needed was closure. He just needed to know why Vanitas killed Luna! A self-serving purpose, but sympathetic all the same. The reality is that Misha is incredibly jealous; he wants to keep Vanitas all to himself and can't bear to share him with anyone else.

Furthermore, he cannot fathom what it is about Noé that has Vanitas doing so much for him. At this point, it's unclear how much Misha knows about their relationship, but he definitely knows they're working together and knows they're close (which is half the problem in his estimation). He figured Noé was the main thing preventing Vanitas from rejoining his perfect family. Of course, we know that isn't remotely the case even though we don't know why Vanitas killed Luna, but Misha is in denial about a lot of things, not least of which is this.

Throughout Misha's tirade it seems that Vanitas is maintaining some consciousness, though just barely. I'd guess he's going in and out of consciousness, but Mochizuki went out of her way to show he at least heard Misha's reasoning, i.e. that Vanitas shouldn't need Noé because he has him.

Now, speaking of theories I've had, one of them was proven wrong in this chapter as well, although it makes things more interesting: Dominique is not a curse bearer. We also have it proven that this isn't Louis, but another side of Dominique herself. Note that Louis's mole is missing, thus proving it's her:

As for why she's saying "our" name, I think this is just a grammar thing to be honest. (^^)" There are technically "two" people there even though they're one and the same. But these different reflections of Dominique are quite interesting. Here's what she has to say about this one:

I think at this point it's safe to say that Dominique's more "feminine" side is what she's equating to weakness and her more "masculine" side is what she sees as her strength. The problem she's running into is that she's separating her own personality into chunks, which has caused a rift within herself. Misha was able to take advantage of her because she was stamping out all of her doubt and sorrow and, perhaps most importantly, her past as a more unsure, innocent individual. But that's how she got to where she is today; she can't ignore that past much as she'd like to. I think that for Dominique she'll know real peace once she's reconciled these two aspects of her personality and found that they're ultimately one and the same.

Of course, her issues with Noé need to be addressed as well. Already she's seen that killing herself solves nothing. Noé cares for her and she wouldn't make life easier for him by removing herself from the equation. I think she has to confront there's a certain selfishness in trying to determine what would or wouldn't make Noé happy without talking to him as well, which I suspect will be discussed later in this arc. But most importantly, Dominique needs to learn to value her own life for herself and to prioritize herself for a change. I'm not sure that's something we're going to get around to this arc (baby steps and all), but I feel like she's slowly starting to get there. Right now, she's valuing herself only in terms of Noé caring about her and needing her. She's still prioritizing his feelings over her own and that's the biggest thing that needs to change.

As for Noé, he's only just realizing any of this, so a substantial part of this arc for him will no doubt be him coming to terms with how Dominique actually feels, not just for him but for herself, too. He's also going to have to deal with Vanitas and the fact that Vanitas still didn't offer to help Dominique (that is a problem that hasn't actually been addressed whatsoever yet) and the fact that Noé immediately became the thing Vanitas feared most in an effort to protect her.

This could possibly lead to Noé realizing two things: how much he cares for Dominique and how much he cares for Vanitas. The latter is already in motion. The former has been in motion for years, so it's really a matter of what tone it takes later this arc. Will Noé realize he shares the same feelings for Dominique that she has for him? Or will he realize that he hasn't been as good of a friend to her as he'd hoped? Very curious to see how that progresses.

As for Misha, well, he's taking everything very badly. XD As I've said many times, his plan was actually terrible and the whole thing has, indeed, backfired on him spectacularly. Even the book has backfired on him!

It's honestly kind of hilarious. Now, getting to Misha's abilities, he admits he can't alter a vampire's name, he can simply manipulate them for a time. I think that's what the random vampiric zombie horde is supposed to be: vampires he has manipulated to work for him. And yet, I'm puzzled. It's been heavily implied that Dominique attacked other vampires as a curse bearer, except we now know she isn't actually a curse bearer, so what was she doing? Was she spreading Misha's influence somehow? The vampires all have blood about their lips much as Dominique did when she stumbled back to Misha.

Visually, the dark matter coming out of Misha's book actually look likes blood, doesn't it? We haven't heard of the book being able to manipulate blood, but I find myself wondering if that's what he's doing. Might explain the zombie vibes of his horde. XD Regardless, blood seems involved somehow even if it merely represents the damage his book has done to those he controls.

I suppose we'll find out next chapter! I'm looking forward to seeing more zombies and Misha's abilities continually backfiring on him. I can't imagine Dominique and Jeanne will continue to fight each other seeing as Dominique has her independence back, but the two will definitely need to talk over some things. Ahh, there's going to be a lot of talking this arc; I really can't wait. :D

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 14

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: depictions of panic attack, suggestive content Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

After a couple of days had passed, Bucky had approached you with the idea of going on another date. At first, you were greatly hesitant. The memories of the Hydra man telling you their first glimpse of you was during a date couldn’t escape your mind. You had brought it up to Bucky as gently as you could but he assured you, you had nothing to worry about. Those at the facilities were…”gone.” He had simply put it at that. You didn’t want to think about how deep the organization may actually run seeing as they had been able to be under the radar for a while. But you forced yourself to put the rest of your great concerns away and, eventually, agreed to a date. 

Bucky thought the movies could be a fun thing for you two to do. He admitted he hadn’t been to one in quite some time and was interested to see what was out there in terms of genres. That led you two to sitting at the kitchen counter in the compound, leaning over the newspaper, skimming the movie showtimes. You didn’t have the heart to tell him you could've just looked this up on your phone.

“What about an action movie?” Bucky asked. You scooted your stool closer to read the title he was pointing at. You had to admit, you were getting pretty comfortable at the compound, having declared this one particular stool yours in the kitchen. You were harboring a lot of concerns over your apartment. It still sat in your mind as the, well, the initial scene of the crime. The start of that incident. Thankfully, no one seemed bothered by your extended stay and you thought Bucky seemed to secretly enjoy playing house in this capacity. 

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “They’re so hit or miss. We might not like it.”

Bucky hummed. “If we don’t like it, it’ll just give us an excuse to make out.”

You couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped your lips. It was a rare occurrence lately and Bucky always looked relieved when you’d show any signs of getting closer to peace. “Is that why you want to go to the movies, Buck?”

Your soulmate scoffed, shaking his head with a little cheeky grin. “You mean to tell me you really watched every movie you went on a date to see?”

“Oh, hush,” you smirked back as Bucky playfully rolled his eyes. “I guess nothing really changes over the years.”

This banter was good - it felt good. You weren’t in pristine condition but this was maybe showing some progress. Crying in bed with Bucky seems like a lifetime away despite just being a day or so ago. Concerns of various formats weren't vanishing so fast, though. Especially in the realm of nightmares. You hadn’t brought it up to anyone but it was like something had reset in the bond. While they weren’t as obnoxious, you weren’t getting dreams of Bucky reading or any cute shit like that.

“How about a horror movie? That could be fun,” Bucky said. “I can hold you when you get scared.”

You bit your lip. “Who said I get scared during horror movies?”

Bucky shook his head, letting out a light laugh. “You’re making this impossible, doll.” 

Before you could tell him to quit it, someone entered the kitchen. The person came up behind you two and began looking over your shoulder at the movie times. “Going to the movies?” Steve asked. 

You and Bucky turned to him, nodding. “We can’t figure out what we want to see, though.”

Steve hummed as his eyes raked over the page. “How about a romance?” He suggested. “Bucky used to cry his eyes out over those.”

Immediately, Bucky began spewing protests left and right calling Steve the biggest liar while you couldn’t help but genuinely crack up at the situation. It was a nice thing, you thought, sitting here laughing over something silly between Bucky and Steve. Almost like you were getting on and everything was figuring itself out. Maybe today would be the day it all finally took a turn. 

“Alright, alright,” you said, trying to calm Bucky. Steve looked greatly amused while your soulmate was just annoyed. “I think that’s settled then. My curiosity has peaked. I wanna see a romance.”

Bucky groaned. “It happened one time.”

Steve shrugged. “Maybe she can hold you just in case it happens again.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Bucky scoffed. “Want to share anything else with her? Any other embarrassing stories from back in the day you think she just desperately needs to hear?”

You looked excitedly towards Steve. “Yeah, Steve, is there anymore?”

He smirked. “Trust me, there’s plenty. But I wouldn’t want to waste them all now. I’ll save them for your wedding day.” And with that, Steve nodded, possibly quite proud of himself for dropping that, and exited the kitchen, back on his path to wherever he was going. He left you two practically with a bomb. 

Wedding day - the idea of that was something that has never crossed your mind. And from the looks of it, neither had it crossed Bucky’s. It wasn’t uncommon for soulmates to get married. Most didn’t see the purpose outside of the legal side but you didn’t fall into that. You were hopelessly guilty of daydreaming about your wedding day...

Bucky cleared his throat. “So,” he looked back at the paper, “romance it is, then?”

You took a deep breath, snapping your thoughts back into place. “Sure.”

***

Steve’s claim hadn't been that too far off. As you two were exiting the theater, having just watched an hour and a half of two people being oblivious when it comes to love, Bucky wouldn’t meet your eyes. You were commenting on the movie but he was stuck looking at the hem of your dress. You had gone with a light sundress having not much effort to get that dressed up but still wanting to look good for your man. It was decorated with little polka dots. Apparently, the dots were the most fascinating thing in the world to Bucky.

“Bucky,” you nudged him as you were walking down the street, “are you even listening to me?”

“Hmm?” Bucky jumped, his eyes finally meeting yours. And sure enough, they were wet. You couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped you.

“Steve wasn’t kidding,” you smiled, “romances really get to you, huh?”

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and looked away. You took the opportunity to take your hand in his as you two continued your walk. 

After a moment, you spoke again, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Buck. I think it’s quite endearing.”

He scoffed. “You’re just saying that.”

“I am not,” you protested. “I think it’s very sweet you love love that much. I see it when we’re together.”

Bucky finally turned back to you. “Really?” He asked so gently. His eyes had a glimmer of hope in them. Your heart was melting. 

“Of course.”

Abruptly, he stopped you two right there on the sidewalk. He looked like an absolute dream in his nice shirt and slacks, illuminated just by the glow of the night and the flickering street lamps. He was looking at you like you had hung the moon and stars. You went to ask why you two were stopped but before you could, Bucky’s lips were on yours. They were so soft and gentle yet fierce and loving. You had forgotten how much he channeled in these kisses as you hadn’t been quite intimate since before the kidnapping. You had been scared, quite honestly. Despite the sequence of events not exactly being related, the last time you slept with your soulmate you were whisked away. It was a stupid, ridiculous fear you felt slowly dissipating the more your lips moved in sync. 

Suffice with the moment but leaving a bit to tease, Bucky eventually pulled away. “Let’s get back to the compound.”

You bit your lip a bit more hesitantly than you had intended but still nodded. You knew where this was going and you had to run with it. You had to let Bucky guide you to it. He was it for you, you had to remember. He was your soulmate for a reason and you were getting through this together. As cliche it seemed, you walked with him into what felt like the unknown. 

***

The second you were outside the shared bedroom, Bucky couldn’t keep his hands off you. He was the perfect gentleman on the way back and even all through the compound but once the coast was clear, his hands were trailing up and down your sides, dipping scandalously low. You tried playfully shooing him away but then he’d reach under your dress and pinch the inside of your thigh and, well, after that, you were practically done for. 

You were absolutely amazed by how naturally you fell back into this rhythm with Bucky. You figured something had just been needed, some kind of push to get you back on track. Maybe this date had been that. You didn’t want to think too much anymore, though, so you followed Bucky as he walked you back into the bed. 

He was on top of you in a matter of minutes, lips locked fully with yours as his hands continued to roam. It was all happening fast. Very fast. Bucky was a skilled multitasker in more ways than one. As he was taking off his shirt, he was already working on getting your dress off. You paid little attention to any of it, trying to let yourself get lost in the movements and lovingness of your soulmate.  

Once your dress was discarded, long forgotten in the room with Bucky’s shirt, next came his pants and your bra. All while doing so, Bucky kept stealing kisses from all over your body. Your lips. Your neck. Your chest. Your stomach. He was like a starved man and maybe, in some way, he really was. Part of you had denied him from so much, including sex, after the…

Your eyes shot open. Your heart was suddenly pounding but not in the excited, horny kind of way. Not in anticipation for your soulmate’s touch. In fact, you wanted the exact opposite of that. You felt like you were suddenly suffocating. You became very aware of Bucky’s body on top of you, the weight of him holding you into the bed that was so soft you felt like you were sinking. 

Bucky was seemingly oblivious to all of this despite your breath becoming shallow and unsteady. You wiggled under his touch trying some way to get him off but he mistook it for pleasure and kept his teasing work around your panties. 

“Bucky-,”

“I know, doll,” he hummed, his lips back at your neck while his metal hand dipped a little into the waistband. You shook your head.

“No, Bucky, please-,” your voice was barely there as you tried to convey your nervousness. Your brain felt like it was cloudy. You didn’t know what to say, what to do, to get his attention. You gasped, overwhelmed.

Bucky pulled away from your neck immediately, brows furrowed in confusion at your sudden switch in emotion. He said your name, voice so full of concern, but he felt so far away.

You couldn’t find the words anymore so you just tried to push him off. While naturally impossible, he took the sign and quickly lifted himself off of you, going as far to leave the bed. He stood at the foot of it, watching you try to prop yourself up on your elbows. 

You were struggling to breathe still and trying so hard to get your brain focused on something other than the feeling of being held down. It didn’t make sense, though. It really didn’t. You hadn’t been held down like that but there was something about the logistics of it your brain couldn’t separate the actions. You couldn’t move, you were dominated once again. And then you suddenly remembered Bucky’s involvement and it all just… It was all just one giant fucking mess. Your hands were shaking. 

Bucky tried again, “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

Your eyes shot to him, realizing how wild you must look. You were having a panic attack in the middle of sex. How much more could your life be affected by those goddamn-

“Doll, please, breathe with me,” Bucky pleaded as he leaned down to your eye line. You sat up further and he took the chance to take your hands in his. He held them as they shook uncontrollably. You stared into his eyes, regaining some order in your breathing.

“I-I’m sorry-,”

Bucky shook his head. “No, don’t you dare apologize. It’s alright, I understand. Just focus on your breathing. There’s nothing bad here, sweetheart. Just me.”

You nodded slowly and closed your eyes, focusing on your heart which was finally settling down. You pushed away the thoughts. The images of being strapped down. The way you were tossed around like a ragdoll. The look Bucky wore as he killed those men-

You shifted your attention to the weight of Bucky’s hands in yours. They had done so much bad but were also doing you so much good. 

It was over. Everything you had endured was over. Those men were gone. That Bucky wasn’t really that Bucky. He was still your Bucky. The Bucky that walked you to work and cried over movies. You had to drill this into your brain before something else overtook you.

After a moment or so, you felt you could finally reopen your eyes. Bucky was still watching you intensely.

“B-Better?” He seemed nervous to ask.

“Yeah,” you said, finding your voice again. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He let out a small sniffle and that’s when you finally saw the tears forming in his eyes. You looked down at your connected hands, unable to bear seeing what you had caused. 

“Anytime, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered. “I’m here whenever you need me.”

You gave a small, shy nod. “Can we just go to bed now?”

Wordlessly, Bucky stood up and grabbed one of his shirts for you. While you threw it on, Bucky began unmaking the bed. Once he had set up your space with the blankets you cherished, you crawled right in and tried to let sleep take you.

It wasn’t very pleasant in your dream world as the memories of the kidnapping filled you, despite all your best attempts to suppress it. 

But you stood no chance escaping these because they weren’t your memories. They were from Bucky’s perspective. 

Unknowingly to him, you were seeing all the steps he had taken when it came to murdering the Hydra men. You felt the anger, the determination. The absolute disregard for them. You could practically feel it as his fist collided with them. As he drained their life from their bodies. 

You didn't want to react, though - God forbid you give Bucky another reason to worry -  and instead, you gave in to them.

[buckys-black-dress]

✄ chapter two: keep it cool like iced tea

a/n: here's chapter two! obvi this is just building the plot and storyline, but we're seeing the beginnings of the magic! anyways, let me shut up so u can read. ok bye!

wc: 2k

[fratboy!bucky barnes x fem!reader]

series masterlist

-

To say you sucked at pong was a vast understatement.

And although you really didn't want to make a fool of yourself in front of this very nice, very tall, very attractive guy, you can't help but feel like an idiot when you sink your first shot into a cup halfway through the game.

You're definitely on your way drunk with the amount of shots Natasha and Sam have scored on you, plus all the ones you've missed.

When Natasha told you to let loose tonight, you're not so sure this is what she meant, though. You see her laughing and giving you eyes from across the table, while your face is bright red. You brush off her looks with a roll of your eyes, darting them back to Bucky.

Bucky.

Bucky with the incredibly nice hands and arms, who seems to be making the shots for the both of you. Bucky who's been occasionally slinging an arm over your shoulders, paying close attention to you. Bucky who's been asking you questions about yourself, that you've returned back, and received witty responses to.

"So, where 're ya from, Y/N?" He asks in a slurred voice, but you can tell he's not exactly drunk yet.

"I'm from New York. You?" You ask, throwing back another drink from a shot that Nat made into your cup.

"No shit! I'm from Brooklyn!" He smiles, a big, bright smile that tugs at your heartstrings for some reason.

"I'm Manhattan born and raised, mister." You return his blinding smile.

"Small world, huh?" He laughs, once again wrapping his arm around you. "Can't believe we've never ran into each other before."

"Well, New York City's quite large, Bucky." You giggle, and he laughs back. As you feel your face warm up, he looks down at you with something akin to adoration in his eyes. Bucky towers over you, deciding that the pong game was over between the four of you.

He walks back to the kitchen, assuming that you'd follow him.

But he turns around to ask you in you'd like something to drink, and you're not there.

You're still chatting with Natasha and Sam, and it takes him a second to realized you wouldn't just follow after him. You didn't really give him the impression of being that type of girl.

Which is what intrigued him more about you. You weren't worshipping the ground he walked on, you didn't initiate conversation too much, and you didn't drool over him like every other girl he's met.

He suddenly feels a surge of awkwardness. He sees you talking animatedly with Sam and Natasha, and now Steve has joined in the conversation. You were talking completely comfortably with them, much more comfortably than you were with him.

It makes him wonder what he'll have to do to get you to get like that with him.

What he'll have to do to make you trust him.

"Hey, Y/N, I was gonna head to the kitchen and grab a drink. Wanna join?" He questions, seeing his friends giving him cocked eyebrows in confusion.

Bucky could usually get any girl he wanted. Especially at a party like this one. Why was he so hell-bent on spending time with you?

"O-Oh! Sure, I'll join you." You excuse yourself from the group, and Bucky slings his arm through your waist to guide you through the crowd. You feel you stomach flip in a way you've never felt before, and feel your cheeks redden.

"So, what can I get you?" Bucky practically yells over the music, trying to meet your eyes. You avert them quickly, and simply tell him a vodka lemonade.

He hands it to you with a strange look in his eyes, and you give him a kind smile while taking your first sip.

"God, you trying to get me wasted here?" You gag with a laugh, looking into your cup and back to Bucky.

"Sorry, doll, might'a gone a bit heavy on the vodka. You still good to drink it?" He queries with genuine concern in his eyes.

And although you already well on your way to drunk, past tipsy, you give fervent nod, and give it another sip.

It was good.

-

As the night had progressed further, you had two more of Bucky's vodka lemonades.

And now, you were drunk.

You also didn't know where Natasha was, but she was probably off somewhere with Sam, so you weren't worried for her safety.

Bucky was still by your side throughout the whole night, offering to dance, and even just sit and talk.

Which is what you were doing right now. In the middle of the crowd, you were practically on top of Bucky while you two talked about anything from academics to your daily lives.

"So, in your major, what would you say was the dumbest thing someone's asked?" He laughs, and he's clearly also past the line of tipsy and has fallen into drunk, right with you.

"Uhhh... oh! One time, this guy-"

"Doll, I can't really hear ya." Bucky laughs

"Oh, sorry," You blush, trying to speak louder, but it still wasn't working.

"Do you- would you be okay with just goin' up to my room? Don't think we'll get much of anythin' done down here." He gives you a look that says 'I'm not gonna hurt you, unless you want me to.'

It sends a shiver down your spine, and you stand up, waiting for him to guide you up the stairs.

You knew you weren't going to have sex with him. You had only met him four hours ago, and no matter how many girls he could pull in that time, you were not interested in being one of them.

"Just so you know now, I'm not planning on sleeping with you." You burst out while you're halfway up the stairs, your eyes going wide at your own words.

"Huh," Bucky chuckles, "I know I have a reputation that precedes me, but I didn't think this is where that was going. Just wanted to continue to conversation." He smiles down at you, finally opening his door.

Of course, Bucky was lying right through his teeth. Of course he wanted to sleep with you. You were nice, smart, had a hell of a body, and had kept his attention the longest out of any girl he's ever met. But when it comes down to it, he was a boy.

And boys usually only thought with one organ; their dicks.

As the lamp flicks on, a small glow filters over the room, giving it a cozy feel. You, on the other hand, felt nothing but cozy.

"You can sit anywhere. Wanna watch somethin'?" He asks, tossing you the remote while you stood, frozen at the doorway.

"I- uh, sure?" You ask, more than you tell him, but sit down on his bed. You were careful to not flash him while you adjusted yourself, not sure of what to do.

The last thing you needed tonight was the most notorious playboy on campus seeing your black lace thong right now.

"Do you wanna change into somethin' more comfortable, angel?" Again, your stomach has butterflies trying to escape at his sweet words. But you knew better than to think too much into it. he probably said these names to every girl who's come into this very bed.

Ew, you think to yourself, this bed must have STDs sewn in the sheets by now.

"I- sure? If you have anything that fits, I guess." You grumble.

"Sure, I've got a t-shirt and boxers, if you want? Don't have much else, honestly." He laughs lightly, handing you the items and points to the bathroom in the corner of his room.

As you're standing in the middle of Bucky Barnes' jack and jill bathroom, you take a moment and think to yourself.

How did I get here?

Will he ask me to sleep here?

Does he still expect anything from me?

I hope not.

I'm really tired.

Ugh. Whatever. I'm too tired to think this much right now.

You pull of your dress that you couldn't stand to be in anymore, and put on the clothes Bucky had provided you with.

They were quite large on you, considering the guy was about the size of bigfoot. But you couldn't find it in yourself to complain about it right now.

You exit the bathroom, setting the dress down on the floor where you had kicked off your heels, and sit back down next to Bucky on his bed.

You feel your skin slide under the blanket that was thrown over him, and focus on the TV screen.

"So, what're we watching?" You query, trying to figure out what was playing.

Little did you know, Bucky was still thinking about the way you had looked when you walked out of the bathroom. It did something to him, seeing you in his clothes like that, for some reason.

The way you were practically swimming in them, and the way you knuckled at your eyes tiredly that made him want to hold you to his chest while you both fell asleep.

He was trying to shake the thoughts from his head, wondering what the hell had gotten into him with these thoughts.

Since when did he, Bucky Barnes, think about a girl like this? It was usually much dirtier and nastier in his head, but you were doing something to him.

"Bucky? Everything alright up there?" You giggle, knocking on his skull lightly.

"I- yeah, all good, doll." He shakes his thoughts away, focusing back on you. "I put on whatever was playing, didn't switch it because I didn't know what you liked." Bucky explains.

"Hm, well this seems good. We can just keep this on?" You suggest, realizing that Home Alone 2 was playing on his TV. "I love this movie. This kid's got some real class." You chuckle, now fully watching the movie.

"He's a genius, I'll give 'im that much." Bucky laughs, also fixing his gaze on the movie.

In the hour that passed, you two have made small talk about the movie here and there, and every time, Bucky's gaze became transfixed on you. With the glow of the TV illuminating your face, with the way you smiled and threw your head back when you laughed, he couldn't help it.

Finally, the movie had come to a close, and Bucky could tell you were fighting sleep. You were practically asleep sitting up against his headboard.

"You wanna spend the night here, doll?" He wonders out loud, looking over to you.

You shoot him a look, a playful glare with a hint of a smile.

"I mean, it's a bit late for me to head back to my dorm. But no funny business, mister." You point a finger at him, and Bucky holds his hands up in the air.

"No funny business, I promise." He holds out his pinky to you, to which you curl yours around, and latch on.

Once the lamp next to his side of the bed is turned off, you slide further down in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position. After a few minutes of adjusting, you snuggle your head into the pillows that smell like laundry detergent and his cologne.

"Goodnight, Bucky," you say out loud into the darkness while you both face each other.

"G'night doll. See ya in the morning." Bucky's voice is a low baritone, clearly about to succumb to the sleep he was fighting.

"See ya in the morning." You reply, finally letting your eyes fall shut.

That night, you dream of Bucky Barnes and his cologne.

And across from you, Bucky Barnes dreams of a world where this is normal. A world where you sleep next to him every night, and you wake him up every morning with a kiss.

Man, I'm totally fucked, is the last thought he has before falling into a sleep surrounded by you.

[ilydenji]

Please do a pt 2 of toxic traits that had kenma, kageyama, and Tsukishima. Please make it fluff in the end🥺. I loved it

❝toxic pt. 2❞

↳haikyuu boys toxic traits part two

characters: kenma kozume, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei

warnings/tw: toxic relationships

a/n: I'm so glad you loved the first one !! I hope this is good enough afndjsmsj

(this kinda long sorry lmfoaodjrnf)

part one here

kenma ;

-its been a few weeks since the two of you had talked properly.

-you did what he wanted, you had broken up with him.

-it felt weird going back to your regular life as if nothing had happened. as if you didn't spend half a year with him.

-it did hurt when you realized he didn't even care. that day when you walked away from him, you doubted that he gave it a second thought.

-but, unknowingly, the whole situation was slowly eating kenma up with guilt.

-after your breakup, he briefly had talked about it with kuroo and that’s when he realized how much of an asshole he really was.

-he missed it when you watched him practice, apparently, the other members of his team did too.

-“where’s y/n? are they okay?” lev would ask the most.

-“they broke up idiot- if you’re wondering how they are ask them yourself” of course, yaku would hit him for even mentioning them.

-up until now, kenma never noticed the little things that you did for him. how you would praise his hard work after practice or a game.

-how you would softly comb your fingers through his hair while playing games. or how you would bring him lunch every day in case he forgot to eat.

-not only that, but he started missing the little things about you as well.

-how your nose would scrunch up when you laughed,

-when you would hold his hand, you’d always rub circles on his thumb.

-how you would hum when playing with his hair.

-all those things, why hasn’t he realized them before? why did he let you go?

-why did he hurt you so bad?

-he wanted to— no, he needed to apologize to you.

-he wanted to be with you again, though he didn’t really think he deserved you anymore.

-he wanted to try anyway.

-you received a text from him in the afternoon. you were hesitant to answer. what could he be asking for? his hoodie that he left a month ago?

-when you finally decided to answer it, it read-

-“Can I please talk to you.”

-he wanted to talk now? he had a chance weeks ago. months even.

-you just sighed and texted back saying yes. he asked if he could come over and you agreed, maybe things would end off on a better note? you’d be lying if you said you didn't miss him.

-when kenma came over, he looked different than how he usually did. he didn't have his psp and he didn't use his phone once.

-he slowly walked to your bed and motioned you to sit next to him.

-“I’ve been a big fucking asshole to you, y/n. I'm so sorry I treated you like that.” he would start.

-he ended up apologizing for everything and told you he never realized how much care relationships need.

-“you deserve so much better. it’s selfish of me to even consider the fact you’d take me back but. I missed you a lot, I'm so sorry for hurting you.”

-you wanted to be with him again, to hold him and tell him it’s alright.

-instead, you rest your hand on his shoulder with a squeeze.

-“it's okay, it’s fine. I messed up along the way as well.” you’d start. kenma kept the same stoic expression he usually had. but you can tell in his eyes, he was hopeful.

-“but maybe we don’t belong in a relationship. maybe not yet at least.”

-kenma understood what you meant.

-in the end, the two of you had agreed that to ever get back into a relationship again he had to work on letting himself be vulnerable around you.

-he had promised to be better for you, and wait until you were ready to be with him again. although you had promised to be with him sometime in the future, the pang in his chest didn't fully go away.

-the day ended with him in your arms, comforting him.

-his arms were wrapped around you, his head in the crook of your neck.

-“kenma, I still love you. you know that right?”

-kenma didn't exactly answer. instead, he pulled you closer to him. you could feel his smile against your neck.

-you both still loved each other but decided to take it slow this time. not wanting to hurt each other.

kageyama ;

(reader is into photography bc that's the only thing I could think of I'm sorry lfmsoakedjdnsn)

-it’s been a few days since his last game, where he basically told you that you “clearly didn’t love him”

-in those few days, kageyama couldn’t explain what he was feeling.

-he always had trouble expressing his emotions. so he often ignored them.

-but this time, there was a pit in his stomach that just wouldn’t go away. whenever he looked at his phone he would be tempted to call you.

-he wasn’t so sure if that was a good idea, but the silence was killing him.

-one day during practice he had asked hinata if he had seen you.

-hinata nodded and told him you were out in the courtyard doing club activities.

-kageyama didn't know you were in a club? though, he hardly payed any attention to that stuff.

-he wondered how he could be so clueless, you two have been together for months.

-that day, he skipped practice. that on its own was a whole different story.

-he managed to find you outside, taking pictures of the flowers and anything remotely interesting you could find.

-but no matter how mundane, kageyama didn't fail to notice the smile you had.

-he recognized that look in your eye, that was the look he had whenever it came to volleyball. how could he have not realized how happy your little hobby made you?

-he wanted you to be happy, to see you smile with so much passion like that.

-kageyama approached you cautiously, trying not to scare you.

-“what do you want kageyama?” you started. it startled him a little.

-you didn't need to turn around for you to know he was there. hinata had texted you that kageyama was coming, of course.

-“Nothing... I just.. missed you I guess” he sat down next to you. neither of you had talked, it became awkward fast.

-“so... you like photography? I didn’t know”

-“of course you wouldn't.”

-kageyama cringed at the words. you weren’t wrong in the slightest, he had been ignoring your interests for the longest and he feels like such an ass for it.

-“I'm sorry for not paying attention” he stated. you nodded at his words. but that wasn’t enough for him.

-“I should’ve payed more attention to you, it’s my fault I got so caught up in my own head” still, you didn’t say anything but you did turn your attention to him. progress he thought.

-“I should’ve realized that this, is just as important to you as volleyball is to me.” he rested his hand on top of yours. in return, you squeezed his a little. he smiled softly.

-“I’ll give you more of my attention from now on. okay? I'm sorry y/n. I love you, I really do.” he finished. and that’s what you wanted to hear.

-you wanted him to acknowledge his wrongs and apologize. you knew kageyama struggled with his emotions sometimes but he would eventually come around.

-you rested your head on his shoulder.

-“did you really skip practice for me?”

-“of course I did”

-by the end of the day, kageyama had learned that relationships aren’t just a one-sided thing. that you cant constantly be supporting him without him supporting you.

-he promised to you that no matter what it is that you would do, he would be right by your side cheering you on.

tsukishima ;

-the days had turned to weeks, and tsukishima was barely paying any attention to you. after your little fight, it was clear that he wouldn’t say a word until you said something first.

-but you were scared to.

-how could you not be? his teasing crushed your self-esteem.

-you would notice things about yourself that you never saw before. picking at your skin for the tiniest imperfections.

-or even trying to change your appearance in any way you could to seem different, but in the end, tsukishima didn't pay attention.

-but someone else did, yamaguchi. he was close to tsukishima and knew what was going on.

-he was the first one to comfort you after your fight with your boyfriend. he promised to you that the things he said weren’t true and he never meant it.

-yamaguchi was slowly replacing tsukishima as the days went by. still, the two of you remained friends.

-“I think you should talk to him, y/n. he misses you I know it” he told you one day. he was on his way to practice and asked you to come with.

-you didn't know if that was really true but you decided to put your trust into him.

-instead of going into the gym yourself, you waited for practice to end nearby. you didn't want to be a distraction.

-when practice did end, tsukishima and yamaguchi ended up being the first ones to come out. yamaguchi was smiling as he yelled out for you. tsukishima stayed silent.

-walking towards the two made your anxiety rise. it was nerve-wracking honestly.

-the three of you ended up walking to the gate before yamaguchi told you that he had somewhere to go first and he’d meet you two later.

-after that, it was just the two of you. you noticed how although his house was in the opposite direction, he still walked with you. you smiled a little at that.

-“So what’s up with you and yamaguchi?” he said bluntly. the abrupt interaction kinda scared you a little.

-“Nothing, we’re just friends. why?”

-“nothing. I just don't like seeing you all friendly with him.”

-“Are you jealous?”

-“I guess so”

-his words were so blunt it left you confused.

-you asked him how he could say something like that when he’s been ignoring you for days. and not only that but just straight-up bully you.

-tsukishima stayed silent at that. he had stopped walking at this point, and so had you.

-“listen. I'm sorry for saying those things to you, I was just stressed and took that out on you. I never meant to hurt you y/n, I mean it” you knew tsukishima wasn't the type to talk so openly about how he felt.

-he probably meant it.

-it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurt you. you told him what his words had done to you, that you had tried to change yourself for his approval.

-at this, tsukishima brought you into a hug. he held you close to him, softly petting your hair.

-“I'm sorry y/n, I’m sorry for taking it too far, for making you think so low of yourself. I promise you I never thought those things about you, I was just mad. I should’ve never taken it out on you.”

-at this point, you didn't know if you should be happy about it or cry.

-“it hurt tsukki.” was all you said to him.

-“I know. I'm so sorry y/n, I understand if you cant forgive me.” he pulled away from you to move your hair away from your face, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

-“I understand that I’ve hurt you. you don't need to forgive me. but please know that I love you so much.”

-afterward, tsukki ended up walking you home, holding your hand the rest of the way.

-he knows things might not go back to being the same, but he’s willing to work on letting you past his walls, being nicer towards those he loves, you especially.

-you know old habits die hard and that relationships aren’t always easy. but this was a journey you both were willing to take. both learning from each other to make sure this never happens again.

——-

I'm really hoping this is okay uh- I tried to make this as wholesome as I could but continuing the theme from last time. I might have to just make fluff has for these three after HANDFJDNN (i’m also very sorry for my terrible english @(*$@*(24)

[jockpoetry]

supernatural sees women as a tool for development and strengthening of narratives/motivation and dean sees his body as a tool. is that anything?

When I saw this ask I really made the 🥴in real life. So, yeah anon, I do think there’s something to this.

Quick Disclaimer before I actually launch into my thoughts™: A lot of my read of Dean stems from my experience as both an oldest daughter and a transman. Being the oldest daughter was an experience I lived for many years, but I am also a man. I wasn’t raised as a man, I wasn’t socialized as a man, and even though once I came out upon reflection my masculinity was obviously there. Like I was a man™ before I knew I was a man. Even when I actively tied my identity to femininity for a long time! A lot of my prideful moments were based around statements like: “I was the only girl who (fill in the blank).” 

So I am just putting that out there before I launch into my spiel about Dean/Gender/Tool because they all interlock for me. 

I am also going to apologize in advance because I know this has fully gone off the rails and I’m not even done writing it yet. If this is incomprehensible ! Well, happens to the best of us.

First off, most importantly I guess before we discuss womanhood and Dean and the way both are utilized on the show I need to say that I personally don’t subscribe the whole Dean is female coded thing. 

It’s a read I can absolutely understand. But for me..he’s not. 

He’s a hypermasculine man to the point that when (and because he is written as a punchline, as the stupid™ brother, as the whore™, as the mother/father™, as daddy’s blunt instrument™, etc) Dean deviates from the pre-accepted definition of hypermasculine it’s Wrong. 

It’s Instantly Feminine. 

I think the internet has made the world very black and white, or blue and pink maybe. This point, I think, colors a lot of these discussions. Dean cooks, he cleans and so therefor he’s female coded. When that really just feeds back into the whole toxic masculinity loop. You can’t be masculine and cook and clean and cry. That’s for feminine people only. 

I get the argument! I do, I just think that Dean’s actions are not inherently feminine, it’s just in the vacuum of Female and in the Absence of Traditional Masculinity it makes sense to assign him female coded and move on.

IN FACT the way that Dean is the action hero of the show, the Masculine™ one on the show - but he cries, and he rages, and he cooks (Again and Again) and cleans (Again and Again). The fact he’s macho and confident but he has so little self esteem. Is frankly insane to me. You have this blaze of glory character who is so depressed that they have him kill himself. Twice. In explicitly “I hate myself, I hate hearing all the things I hate about myself, I want to destroy myself” ways. 

On just a regular ol’ network show that is just ungodly bad at times. They let their Male Hero cry - all the time (if I linked every example of this the essay would be...longer than it already is, but just take my word for it). Dean tears up and grieves and shows more than just Angry Horny Violent™ (he shows plenty of that, don’t get me wrong) but he’s Emotional (Again and Again and Again). In many different ways!

I mean, beyond even just tearing up, they make their Male Hero™ face sexual violence in pretty, uniquely horrifying - and queer! - ways.

Let’s make it clear, they did a lot of this unintentionally. 

Or they do it as a joke. 

Off of dean for a moment to say women are plot devices in this show. I could probably count on one hand female characters who have sincere depth to them that have roles outside of progressing plot, filling a filler episode, and who are still alive. Like even characters such as Charlie who are wholly developed, and interesting, are only remembered/mentioned/utilized to progress plots or fill an episode out - and then she dies. For pain™ for plot™ for no other reason than to traumatize a character. 

Which let’s also make it clear Dean’s trauma is also only used as a plot device (as is Sam’s but in a different way, and Cas’ trauma is a whole other barrel of fish we’re not gonna dive into right now). Like wholesale full stop they don’t actually care about what happened to him. Unless it’s relevant in an episode. 

Oh that boys home he was left at when he was 16 for months? Sure we’ll sprinkle that in in the back half of the series. Oh he was covered in bruises and said it was from a hunt (when it’s clear contextually they were from his father but saying the fantastical but true is easier than saying the uncomfortable but true). As Dean says though the story became the story, he was sixteen. He just went along with what John said.

We only see Dean ever truly rage at John, by the way, when either Dean is dead (when he’s between life and death and he rages at John, right before John “apologizes” for traumatizing him, for putting too much on Dean’s shoulders, and fucking dying) or John is dead (the Djinn episode where Dean is straight™ and John is dead™ and he goes to his grave and just yells and rages like he should have to his father in the real world).

Dean’s trauma from being both tortured and torturer in hell? Yeah, we don’t talk about that after it’s Relevant™. Even though it’s clear - especially in the demon!dean, mark of cain era, all those years later - Alastair still has his hooks inside of Dean. I stopped watching originally after s8 ended. I was fed up with the show, and with this whole renaissance I’ve been doing a rewatch and I’m into season twelve now and it really has never come up again. 

Even when he had the mark of cain and he was tasked with questioning and accused of torturing it was “the mark has changed you” and not “you were victim and victimizer in hell for forty years, which is longer than you’ve been alive on earth” (and, was about as long as he wound up living. Which is desperately sad.

Because we talk about Sam’s desire for a “normal” life but, Dean wanted out too. He was tired in the first few seasons of this show, he never had a chance to taste freedom (we don’t count the boys home, because that was a different kind of regimented life, and it was a false freedom) the way that Sam did in Flagstaff with Bones or at Stanford with Jessica. Love for Dean is sacrificing, it’s putting himself/his happiness/his well-being last.

Because Dean only knows love in the context of violence (like all of these fun examples, for starters) is a phrase that I’ve said a lot both in private chats and on here, and I absolutely think it goes to him being a tool (a blunt instrument, a plot device, so both textually and metatextually) instead of a person. Which Cas sees Dean’s shame/guilt and sees that side of Dean because he touched his soul, and saw more than just the Righteous™ man, more than just the tool, he saw A good man, not a machine. 

On the other side though you have how “bad guys” view Dean: Desperate, Sloppy, Needy, Dean’s hole (Again), which is again so wildly counterintuitive to the story of a Macho Man Hero™. You’re using vocabulary that is both queering him and feminizing (and I know this a meme format, but sincerely it is done in a derogatory way it is feminizing. It’s breaking him down to bare parts, to a sloppy hole). 

My whole rewatch I have been absolutely fascinated by how identity and free will is utilized/conceptualized on this show. Castiel has been my main focus, but Dean and how he is framed by himself and others is...fascinating - and frustrating. The writers inconsistency lends itself not only to this unintentionally queer character, but also one that again is incredibly easily read as a non-traditionally masculine character.

As a feminine character.

This show has so few female characters that of course it had to foist the roles/behaviors/plots that a female character might have onto a male character. Which I think is part of why reading Dean as trans (either transmasc, or transfemme) is so easily done like.   

Half of these are shit posts, but you can find trans allegories/textual evidence in this show again, again, again, again, and again. And this is unintentional, they don’t want you to look at Dean and see woman, former future or present. Like a lot of these I’m sure are punchlines for them, because women/queer folk are punchlines to them. 

Sometimes the only women in an episode are random witnesses who get two sentences of dialogue, and then the main guest character is a man. Who flirts with Dean, and Dean is receptive to it. 

They paint themselves into a corner, there are female Rabbi. So easily could Aaron have been a woman instead of a man, but they made the choice to play up the HaHa Dean & Men card. 

Because, again, Dean has filled the slot of Woman™ of Female Lead™ and the flirting would’ve been straight if Dean was a woman. It’s a plot device, they needed to have the guest character be disarming, be cute, make the main character flustered. 

It’s just the main character is a man, because they’re allergic to women. But they still need those female plots, tools of femininity, to move their show forward. I mean I am a big subscriber to transmasc Jo (no idea if anyone else is with me on this one, but let me explain). Jo is in love with Dean (concept) not Dean (actuality). Which, we’ve all had our eggs cracked by someone like that. We were in love with them until we realized we just wanted to be them.

He loved her like a little sister, she loved him like a lost idol. He’s a golden calf and she dies for him, because she believed in him, she was the original character dashed at the altar of the Winchesters. 

I fully believe if she had lived and if this show had a crumb of actual good writing Jo could have been a deeply compelling transmasc character. But I also think she’s a fascinating inversion of Dean. Dean is a Masculine Character who subverts Toxic Masculinity, Jo is a Tomboy™ she’s not your (if you take it straight, literally and metaphorically) average female love interest. She’s angry, she’s not soft at all, all edges and corners and thorns. She isn’t helpless, she’s stubborn but not in a “you’re going to get punished for this” way. She’s right when she’s stubborn. She’s helpful, she’s a martyr. 

I could do a whole other essay just on Jo (and Ellen, and Ash, what a fucking trio!) but needless to say Jo was one of the first...plot device feminine tools sacrificed to this show. She was a regular, she was unique, she was an engaging character, and she still died (to progress the plot? no. for man pain? yeah, for like three episodes maybe, and then it’s forgotten just like the rest of Dean’s trauma, as we mentioned above). 

Dean and Women and Love is a very interesting tool used too because. Boy they sure try to make Dean love women and it fails in small ways, and in big, meaningless, failed het domesticity (again) ways. Not to mention whatever Lust (in the form of a woman) having no effect upon him, when they could have used that moment to assert his Masculinity and Heterosexuality. He behaved normally? And...also...whatever the fuck the Adios thing was!

Like they have these opportunities to make him Traditionally (toxically) Masculine, but make the choice to...not? To soften him. Because it’s a tool. He’s their female lead, textually he had to take on the role of mother(/father) to Sam, but...I mean this is a million miles long already. I know, but we absolutely can’t not talk about his Paternal/Maternal behaviors. (Which appear again and again again and again, outside of his relationship with Sam even/especially). He’s the mother hen, sage, safety net, beacon, home to so many side characters they meet.

I mean in many ways Jody is also a Dean comparison. Lost her family. Found a new family. She is non-traditionally feminine, but easily flustered and Silly™ (let’s just drop the entire sex talk over family dinner scene with Alex and the boys and looking to them for help, even though she was already a mother, and she’s a cop, and a hunter and this confident no nonsense individual.... She’s not). We are meant to see her as this hard ass, but she makes extra food for the boys to take back to the bunker. She’s deadly in a fight, but also still easily overwhelmed and put into damsel mode, and she cares so much even in the face of adversity.

It’s also fun to see how Jo | Jody are reflections of Dean at different points of his life. Younger, cocky | Older, settled.

Even when the text tries to tell us that he’s not.

When it reminds us that he’s violent. That he is his father, even if he says that Sam is more like John (which was reflexive, which was angry because of Adam and how Sam was behaving like Dean in that episode, and yes there are parallels to be drawn between Sam and John, the show barely dives into them). Instead we’re told that Dean is John (Again and  Again and Again and Again). 

So intensely that a fanfictionalized version of the Winchester Gospels makes it an entire fucking musical number. 

And yet, despite the texts insistence to make Dean Macho Man Father Reborn™ We get this Dean who is silly (and directly compared/contrasted to the female character in this scene), soft, in heels, nagging, and... Sully (you know Sam’s imaginary friend who has the same Haircut Dean has, who is a softer, shorter, friendlier, campier, version of Dean who was a replacement For Dean until the real one let Sam back in? That? Sully?) it’s hard to take them seriously. 

Hell, even when he was A DEMON? What did they do? They had him sing off-key drunken karaoke, they had him doing this ! Like that’s your hero, unhinged, free to be as bad as he could be, and you put him in a cowboy hat in a romance with the king of hell. 

The Female Lead, everyone. Who’s biggest betrayal(s) comes at the hands of his love interest (again, a man even though it was an angel who could’ve taken any vessel! who could’ve been recast, who canonically dies admitting his love to Dean - that one), who he tries so hard to be loyal to. 

The contradictions of his character are laughable. He is so emotional, but if he is engaged about his emotions? He shuts down, or he’s exasperated about being asked about them. It really is Female Lead/Only Here For The Plot disease, because everything is more important than him. How’s he doing? Doesn’t matter outside of the context of how x character is doing or that y character is dead. Or his emotions only matter if they’re done in penance. 

They also really do frame him as Pretty Boy™ in a violent way, or in a derogatory manner. They’ll give us homoerotic shots like this or these and never really acknowledge how these are gay shots. Sorry the gun scene is a a straight up sex scene, the beer sip spilling out over his mouth is oral, the scene where Cas fills up Dean’s glass with whisky is also a sex scene, they do this shit on purpose but accidentally queer it up. If Dean was a woman these scenes wouldn’t even matter. They’d be passing moments, but because he is not just a man but A Man™ they’re insane to see.

Not to mention all of these scenes and all the ones I haven’t linked where Dean dresses up. He performs masculinity, but he performs femininity too. He’s a plot device that is slotted in to whatever role they need. He’s Super Straight Butch Man™ but coaches the lesbian on how to successfully flirt with a man. He’s Action Hero™ who sits through a montage with the same lesbian and yays and nays her outfits, and enjoys himself.

Fuck he loves dressing up, he feels better in these costumes because performing a character is easier than being himself. Because who is Dean? He’s a tool, both textually and metatextually. It is exactly how the women and because of the women on the show that Dean is the way that he is. If there was a more steady female presence Dean would not be half as much of a plot device or half as camp/gay/feminine/non-traditionally masculine/queer coded as he is. 

In conclusion....