#not for discourse

[kenni-woodard]

I just spent way too much time watching a Kenyan-American woman on Instagram talking about how...I'm trying to take my time with this because I'm struggling to articulate it since it goes against the very fabric of my identity -

cw politics, discussion of slavery, identity, oppression, palestine

She thinks that the oppression we face here is manufactured and the oppression people experience in Kenya is real. Specifically, she showed a couple of comparison videos. There was a video of a Kenyan person resisting some armed person - wasn't clear if that was the police or military personnel. Then she cut to a video of a person ripping up their diploma on the graduation stage to protest Palestine. Then she showed Kenyan people marching down a street the way many protestors do all over the world before cutting to a video of people laying in a street while a Black woman spoke into a bullhorn telling the police how she is worried they will kill her boy.

She thinks that descendants of slaves should be calling themselves plain old "American" instead of "African American". She also mentioned that there were more Black slave owners than White ones, and that Black slaves didn't build this country - apparently they only "tilled the fields" which "isn't a major contribution to society" - I'm admittedly conflating some of what she said with what some of the commenters said, and paraphrasing.

She took a bunch of photos with White cops to "disprove" that cops are racist in the United States.

And she thinks that people calling her names or saying things that they probably wouldn't say unprovoked means they lack intelligence and are unable to come up with a logical rebuttal to her remarks.

Now, given my traumatic history, I have a tendency to assume that people are right when they are speaking to me in a condescending or combative tone. Whenever someone denies my experience, I immediately jump to "you're right, how could I dare think that I am a valid person? I am just so stupid to think that it's OK to feel the way I do. I must just be spoiled and ignorant and unworthy of the air I breathe." I'm not being sarcastic. I literally feel that way and have those thoughts go through my head.

Thankfully, after a decade of therapy, I am able to give that response time to happen, and then come out of that response with some self-validation and reassessment.

I didn't want to automatically reject her claims because one of the things she also mentioned was that people are intolerant of opinions that differ from theirs. And she "gets a kick out of triggering Leftists." She also mentioned something about letting logic prevail over emotions, as though emotions have no place in logic. Which I personally disagree with.

Humans have emotions. So you cannot remove them from the equation. I would argue that emotions are what drive opinions. There's an emotion she is experiencing when she sees people shouting about being oppressed in ways that are different from what people in her country of origin are experiencing. I won't proclaim to know what that emotion is. But I think a person with no emotions operating purely off of logic (which, what does that even mean for real? I feel like logic requires a foundational purpose or motivation, and if humans didn't have feelings what would their motive even be for anything?) would probably not even care about what either group of people were experiencing because it doesn't affect them.

I admittedly know nothing about what's going on in Kenya. I do know there is a pattern here of police killing unarmed Black people, and a not-too-distant history of police actively participating in harming Black people and not getting any sort of punishment for it. Does that mean that all White police officers are racist? No. I don't know every White police officer. But what I do know is that I am afraid for my life every time I leave the house. What if I am speeding and don't notice it? If I get pulled over, will I make it home? I didn't make this fear up out of nowhere. It's from history and recent events. My dad is, in my opinion, undiagnosed autistic. He also has PTSD from being in Desert Storm. There was a time a few years ago when he got pulled over and for some reason his instinct was to immediately get out of the car. Knowing that he does stuff like that scares the shit out of me.

Racism isn't just "oh, this cop knows I'm black so no matter the context, they will shoot me". It's more like a deeply ingrained set of assumptions that influence a person's decision making under pressure. It's profiling that probably comes from experiencing or witnessing gang violence, gun violence, drug violence in primarily Black communities. But Black people end up in these communities because of poverty that is undoubtedly connected to a history of practices and policies that placed and kept them there.

What we're not going to do is pretend like Black people have been allowed to have wealth. White people - with government assistance, if not as the government itself - have taken land from Black land owners time and time again. White people have destroyed entire wealthy Black towns. Our ancestors can't leave us that which has been destroyed. Black people were red-lined out of home ownership in certain areas.

There's such a long history of things being done to the Black community to strip it of its ability to be anything other than impoverished for longer than a generation. Things do seem to be getting better, sure. But things will also take time to catch up. And it's so frustrating to hear people say "but that was so long ago." Segregation was legal up until 1964. Places are still being desegregated today. My mother was born in 1962. Lol that wasn't that long ago. It's not like the second something becomes illegal, everyone adopts the new practice and Black children and White children are holding hands and skipping along the sidewalk. No. The first to integrate were faced with so much hatred that they had to be escorted to school. The racist kids they went to school with grew up and some of them taught that same hatred to their own children. And that keeps going. Racism doesn't just magically go away. It might slowly dissolve, but it sure as hell isn't gone.

I could go on and on but my point is that oppression has roots that go so much deeper than what she implied with her video. And it doesn't always look the exact same. Sure, a person ripping up their diploma may seem asinine on the surface, but that's not what the oppression looks like. That's simply an expression of frustration very far removed from what the actual oppression looks like, which is decimated cities, displaced families, and people dying every day. People starving and not getting their basic needs met because their oppressors are denying them access to aid.

And of course, calling someone names is never OK. Being mean to another person is never OK. But it makes sense to me. I understand. Because she is being violent and mean to them by denying their experience with a smile on her face like it's funny or like it's a game. As though people aren't out here fighting for their lives all day every day. "Why don't you change your mindset and work," is what she asked. I work every day and I still don't see the world the way she does. I don't understand why it's assumed that a person who is aware of the many faces of oppression is also a person who doesn't want to work or contribute to society. I can lament the struggles of my ancestors (and feel the impact of those struggles) while still working and "contributing to society" (y'all know how I feel about my job lmfao). You can't be out here in these streets calling people LAZY and not expecting to be called out your own name a few times 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Regarding the whole "African-American" thing - me personally, I don't really give a damn if y'all call me Black or African-American. Neither name is a chosen one. We have been told that we are African-American, Coloured, Black, etc. If we are going based on technicality, sure, Elon Musk can call himself an "African-American". Does it look silly as fuck? ABSOLUTELY. I cannot say that I know the history of South Africa because as an ignorant American I barely know my own history (tbh they don't teach it). But I do believe that White people ended up down there because of colonization. While there may be aspects of their heritage that have evolved to be more inclusive / indicative of their geographical location, they are still there because their people decided to colonize that location.

Black people in the United States have a culture that has formed as a result of traditions passed down from our ancestors. Africa is in our hair. In our genes. In the way we talk. Our music. We are African. Unfortunately due to the actions of the colonizers, our tribal identities have been completely erased. And we did not come here by choice. Of course I'm not referring to folks who have in fact come here by choice. But my people, descendants of slaves. That's who I'm talking about.

I don't understand why she wants to spend her energy defending and claiming a man whose ancestors were colonizers and denying the experience and identity of people who were taken from their home, dehumanized, and had their cultural identities systematically erased. But go off sis, I guess?

This is why people just call you a name and keep it moving. Because we know that you're not going to hear what we have to say. I have written so much. And none of it is new. It has all been said and laid out before. And even still, you have either read it and decided not to find it valid for some reason, or you have chosen not to read it. And still make silly videos invalidating the experiences of others.

I just had to write all this out because my therapist has been talking a lot about how trauma is basically the product of not experiencing and processing emotions to completion. So I needed to complete this experience.

It's dawning on me that I probably feel traumatized by so much so easily because I have so many thoughts and feelings as an autistic person who thinks way too much about everything and uses way too many words and feels all the things that probably aren't even supposed to be felt but I am hyper-sensitive 🤦🏾‍♀️. So it takes me longer to process things because there's just so much information and my processor was built in 1989 and hasn't been upgraded since 😭. And everything in the world is so fast-paced. So there's no time to process. But I'm trying to make slowing down a habit 👍🏾.

[randomprosho]

back real quick to complain. I just really hate that antis whole argument for being against fiction is that people "get off" to it. like, who actually does that? who are these antis imagining doing dirty things with fiction in private? why does sex always have to be on their minds? why is sex a bad thing?

i am a sex repulsed acesexual, I personally don't like sex, I don't like seeing too much nsfw art, I don't like seeing naked bodies but I would still defend people's right to engage in fiction.

some shit on twitter got me peeved

[respectissexy]

There are two basic arguments for shutting the fuck up about cishets at Pride.

First: What if a trans kid asks their parents to show their support by attending Pride with them? What if a lesbian can only attend pride if she gets a ride from someone and the only person willing and able to drive her is her straight brother? What if a bi disabled person can't attend a large outdoor event without hands-on assistance from their straight partner? What if someone just wants to bring their fucking friends? What if, contrary to popular tumblr discourse, most queers don't inhabit perfectly pure social bubbles populated only by other queers? What if it's none of your business?

Second and perhaps more important: If you think you can tell that someone is CIS, let alone HET, by LOOKING at them, you are a cop and an idiot.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

that article going around abt firefox's new ad program is annoying bc it's phrased as though "mozilla has finally TURNED on its people and is SELLING YOU OUT for cold hard cash!!" when. that's not what's happening. it is specifically being implemented to discourage tracking behavior, and literally all the data they are giving to advertisers is aggregate and anonymized, which is like, the opposite of what that post wants you to worry about, lol

[screampotato]

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.

[keitrinkomfloukru]

[saintmachina]

Shipping fictional characters isn’t representative of your moral values. It’s representative of your particular psychic damage and the themes and motifs that haunt you. Hope this helps.

[myfandomrealitea]

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

[cloudboundcritters]

"we need more weird queers!!"

you start parroting TERF talking points the milisecond someone says they are a lesboy or gaygirl

you cry when mspec lesbians/gays exist

you refuse to use neopronouns or it/its, even when those are a persons only set of pronouns

you expect a-specs to experience attraction in some way (yes, that includes platonic attraction)

you exclude intersex people

you can't even accept furries.

[drsarcasticraspberry]

truly the wildest thing about all the Bridgerton discourse about "is Nicola Coughlan too FAT to be a convincing love interest???" is that in many ways she actually looks better in the period costumes than her thinner counterparts because she has the figure to really fill them out. those dresses are incredibly flattering on larger bodies because they emphasise the bust and cleavage whilst creating a very elegant silhouette. there's something unintentionally hilarious about hearing pearl-clutching in the distance over "idk is this FAT WOMAN sexy enough to be believable as an object of lust??" whilst Penelope Featherington's majestic heaving bosoms are almost spilling out of her dress in a category 5 titty event. if anything she's too sexy. they had to spend the first two seasons putting her in ugly dresses in a desperate attempt to conceal the fact that she's serving more cunt than the entire itty bitty titty committee combined

[nervousmonolith]

figured out why i dislike the term non-man so much thanks random screenshot

[michaelmilkers]

"can men be lesbians?" bestie in 100 countries women can't be lesbians is this really the most pressing issue rn

[kuchipatch1]

yall have got to be more normal about Southern people and I'm not kidding. enough of the Sweet Home Alabama incest jokes, enough of the idea that all Southerners are bigots and rednecks, and enough of the idea that the South has bad food. shut up about "trailer trash" and our accents and our hobbies!

do yall know how fucking nauseating it is to hear people only bring up my state to make jokes about people in poverty and incestuous relationships? how much shame I feel that I wasn't born up north like the Good Queers and Good Leftists with all the Civilised Folk with actual houses instead of small cramped trailers that have paper thin walls that I know won't protect me in a bad enough storm?

do yall know how frustrating it is to be trans in a place that wants to kill you and whenever you bring it up to people they say "well just move out" instead of sympathizing with you or offering help?

do yall understand how alienating it is to see huge masterposts of queer and mental health resources but none of them are in your state because theyre all up north? and nobody seems to want to fix this glaring issue because "they're all hicks anyways"

Southern people deserve better. we deserve to be taken seriously and given a voice in the queer community and the mental health space and leftist talks in general.

[seanofbeankeep]

People losing it at the ‘pause button’ suggestion for Elden Ring are not prepared for my ‘tourist mode’ suggestion.

There should be a mode where people like me can just run around and look at the pretty landscape and soak in the atmosphere with the soundtrack. All NPCs and Bosses are still there, but instead of fighting you they stand still and do a lil wave 👋 as you admire them. Maybe some start reciting the game lore like they’re tour guides lol

[shyjusticewarrior]

At some point "fanfic can be as good as professional writing" became "fanfic should be as good as professional writing" and that's caused major damage to fandom spaces.