#not feelin like bein on socials is all

[bestmutt]

You still alive peepaw?

yeag

[jammiesjars]

NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE | MDNI

Warnings: Medium amount of plot?, horribly written medieval times smut, loss of innocence, virginity loss, female anatomy and terminology (??), unrealistic sex, slight coercion, breeding (only a little)

Seems to be the warrior’s picked you.

You were a shy thing. Didn’t get yourself involved in any social gatherings unless necessary, didn’t leave the safe confines of your modest hut unless dragged, and certainly didn’t talk to anyone unless by force.

You were polite, no doubt about it. And though as much as you hate it, people seemed to be drawn to you.

So when the cherished and highly praised warrior that John McTavish is decides he wants you, he will have just that.

It’s not even a question wether or not you want him. You wouldn’t deny the man his right to a pretty little bird like yourself, would you?

No matter, he’ll sneak around; arrange something with your parents so you won’t find out until its too late to stop your matrimony. But God, seeing you smile up at him so naively without a clue in the world that everynight he tugs at his thick cock to the mere thought of you in his arms makes him wish it’d happen sooner.

It was only a matter of time until you found out, anyway. Your parents were off planning some ‘suprise’, your mother teaching you about a wife’s duties all of a sudden and the whispers from the folk in the village only got louder.

“I can’t believe she’s marrying Johnny-“ the girl whispers to her friend, pointing at you.

Your blood runs hot, the same aching need you get when Johnny talks to you in a sultry tone shooting to your core at the mere mention of the rumor; at the idea of being his betrothed. And so you storm off to find him, barging into his office on the compound, blabblering about what you’ve overheard whilst he looks at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Have ye’ got an issue with that, M’eudail?” He’d drawl, his eyes glimmering with the same mischief you’ve come to know. “Don’t tell me yer suprised.”

“Johnny, you can’t be serious.” You’d breathe, the corset taught around your waist suddenly feels ten times tighter, and the furs settled on your shoulders 10 pounds heavier.

“Am always serious about ye, Lass.” He’d coo, leaning back in his chair. He beckons you closer with his hand. “Why? Don’t tell me ye fancy another lad, birdie.” He’d grunt, his calloused hands from years of battle pawing at your hips.

His touch brings out that familiar ache; a coiling need. One you never understood, never knew how to satisfy. “No..“ You’d breathe, responding to his call and stepping into his reach. “But I deserved to know, you cant keep tha-“

You’re silence by a low groan from Johnny. “Och. Quit worrying so much and let yer husband do the thinkin’. Be a good girl and let me take care of ye.”

Playful blue eyes meet yours.

“Keep bein’ at my beck and call, jus’ like ye are now. I’ll do the rest.”

Christ, you’re sure you’ll melt into the floor here and now. It’s not like you can deny anyway, you found out too late. Just as planned. That aching feeling is amplified tenfold and you know Johnny can tell.

He offers a lopsided grin. “Yer all worked up, aren’t ye?” It’s almost a growl. “Don’t worry, lass. I’ll take ye on the altar if you’d ask. I’ll make sure ye never have to go without once yer mine.”

He’d pull you close, so tender despite the vulgarity he whispers in your ear. And above all, you have no clue what he’s talking about.

Even unluckier for you, the scot picks up on that. “Oh, Mo Gràidh..” he’d purr, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Bet ye ache, don’t ye? You’re poor cunt..” He’d tut, shaking his head.

“Do ye know what that feelin’ is, lass?” His eyes hold a dangerous gleam, to which you shake your head and he looks like he could salivate. “C’mere. Let me take a look at ye.”

He flips you around to press your hands to his desk, whilst he’s holding your hips. He flips up your skirts. “Johnny-“

“Quit yer whining, im doing ye a favour.” He coos, hiking up your petticoat and layers underneath to reveal your glistening cunt. “Ain’t that a sight for yer sore eyes..” He almost chokes on his words.

The man had plans, intentions, to wait until your wedding night. To take it nice and slow with deep languid thrusts that had you seeing stars. All of that was thrown out the window as he took in the sight of your untouched opening.

“Ye trust me, lassie?” Johnny grunts.

“Johnny, I-“

He grips your thigh.

“Tryna be nice here, pretty. But it’s damn hard.” He growls. “Do ye trust me?”

You swallow your pride, nodding.

“Oh,” he groans at the confirmation. “Good girl..” Large hands grip your thighs so his tongue can lick a fat stripe up your cunt. The taste of you is so right to him, so… perfect. You were built for him only and he knows it; fated to be his pretty little wife he can come home to after battle.

You’re moaning, biting on your hand to muffle the sound. By god, you’ve never felt anything like this.

Then suddenly, it’s gone.

“Shouldn’t do this to ye, lass. Not one bit. Not proper of me at all, aye?” He pants, leaning back. You almost choke on nothing at the loss of his tongue.

He pulls your skirts down, flipping you back around. “Promise ye. I’ll never let ye go needy once I get that ring on ye finger. Just a couple for days, mo gràidh..”

He’s pressing his face against your stomach, arms keeping you standing between his legs.

“Right…” You pant softly, the loudest sound in the room.

So did you go through with the wedding without a single complaint? Yes. Could you even say you enjoyed it? Sure.

But what came after? That was the entire focus of the evening, apparently.

“Oh, I remember my wedding night..” Older folks would gush.

“Tell us all about it!” Married friends would tease and prod.

You were fed up. What was to come? (You, many times) You couldn’t seem to figure it out, not even as Johnny sat you on the bed with darkened eyes and a firm tone. “

Strip, lovie. Don’t make me do it for ye.”

“J-johnny-“ You mewl, sweat clinging to your body. Your wedding dress is long forgotten on the floor with John’s kilt.

“I got ye, M’eudail. Let go f’me.” John murmurs against your clit that he was just sucking on, whilst his fingers are pressing up into that sweet spongey spot inside of you.

You grip his hair, the feeling making you want to tug him off. “Wait-“ you whimper, hips bucking to chase the feeling that so desperately confuses you.

Johnny doubles his efforts, the smug bastard. “Oh, sweet girl..” There’s that shit eating grin again as he watches you from between your legs as your back arches off the bed. “Troublin’, hm? Don’t know what to do with yerself.” He tuts. “Let go, lass. Let me think for ye.”

His words have you cumming quicker than you’d care to admit.

“Don’t even know what yer feelin’, do ye?” He murmurs, his scottish brogue heavy with lust. “Mm.. ma sweet wifey.” He rides you through your orgasm with lanquid strokes of his thick fingers before climbing up the bed so his forearms rest either side of your head.

“Look at ye…” He grins down at you whilst you catch your breath; utterly ruined. He pushes your hair behind your ear, pressing a sweet kiss to your swollen lips. How awfully tender, considering he just gave you your first orgasm.

“Johnny..” you mewl, hands coming to rest on his broad shoulders. You can feel the thick cords of muscle roll beneath your palms

“Aye, sweetheart. Right ‘ere.” He grunts, reaching a hand down to pump his stupidly thick cock a few times. “Deep breath, lassie. Dinnae go stupid on me.” He coos. He presses at your poor, weeping cunt; his tip slick with precum.

He begins to press in, earning a broken whimper from you.

“Johnny-“ you gasp. “I can’t- I can’t take it-“

“Nae. Don’t say that, Mo Gràidh. Little more. Jus’ for me.” He groans, hissing lowly at how perfect you squeeze him; you were made for him.

You cling to anything for purchase, your jaw slack and eyelids fluttering shut. “No, no no-“

“Ye can take it, good girl… relax for me, lass. Let me in.” He grunts, his words an attempt so soothe your panicked confusion.

“Feels good, yeah? Too much to handle, aye?” He soothes, his gaze piercing as he looks down at you. “I’ve got ye. You’re doing so damn well, shh sh shh…”

You softly gasp, your grip tight as he bottoms out. It doesn’t let up, especially as Johnny decides you can handle even more, and starts pulling out slowly before pressing in again until your hips click together.

“Aren’t ye just fuckin perfect? Aye- look at me. In my eyes, pretty girl. Ye, tell ye husband how good he makes ye feel. Tell me lass.” He coos, a hand lacing into your hair.

“S-so good-“ you whine, hips bucking. “Johnny-“ you choke, his slow, sensual movements becoming more primal.

“That’s right,” He groans, his head dropping to rest against your shoulder. Johnny’s pants are much more obvious as you feel his breath against his shoulder. “Makin’ ye feel so good. Pussy clampin’ around me like a fuckin’ vice.” He groans, his cock pummeling your poor cunt again and again, his pace never slowing.

“Gonna fill ye up nicely. Make you a mam to me heirs..” He growls, his hips stuttering as you cum.

Its a burning hot pleasure that rips through your body, making you feel weak in the legs.

“Ooh,” Johnny intertwines his hand with yours. “There we go… lettin’ go for me like a good girl would. Gonna fuck ye stupid one day, love. Make ye forget ye name.” He growls, his hips slamming against yours as his seed spurts inside you.

“Such a good wifey..”

[mawarimichisae]

Happiness From Love Spread Afar / Part 1 / Aira FS2

Aira Feature Scout 2 Story Translation, Part 1 | Next

Characters: Aira, Kohaku | Writer: Suika

"Eh!? T-that's not true at all!"

Season: Winter

Aira: O~i, Kohakucchi! Over here!

Kohaku: Pardon me for suddenly callin' you out, Love-han. I have some time on my hands until my next job so I was feelin' a bit bored.

Love-han, are ya really not busy?

Aira: It's all good. Today's work and lessons are over, and I was just thinking of heading back.

If anything, I'm happy that you called me out like this. I wanted to talk to you too ♪

Kohaku: It makes me happy as well to hear ya say so. Thank you, Love-han.

Aira: Ah, the always-popular window seat is open! Hooray, Kohakucchi ♪

Kohaku: Alrighty, then I'll grab us some drinks and snacks.

At any rate, today you're in a grand jolly mood. Did somethin' good happen?

Aira: Ehehe, you can tell? Actually, an idol group I've supported since their debut was selected for a release event!

Kohaku: Release event, as in the event they do when they release a new CD for sale?

Aira: Yep yep. It's an event we're very familiar with, huh?

So about this group, a year ago they were only known to a few enthusiasts.

But a little while ago, a short video they posted became trending on social media. From then on, they gained a lot of fans in one go - currently their popularity is booming!

So, the competition for this time's release event was supposed to be rough. I thought they might not be selected...

But when I checked my phone after filming just now, they won by a landslide!

My tiredness from work already went off and disappeared!

Kohaku: Well, that's wonderful. When's the release event being held?

Aira: Next weekend. I'm planning to go straight there after I finish up my work scheduled for that morning.

Why can't the day come quicker ♪ I can't wait anymore.....!

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh ♪ When I see Love-han gettin' excited, I also become happy.

Aira: If watching me makes you happy, feel free to keep watching more and more ♪

I'll share the happiness that I've received with Kohakucchi as well⭐

Kohaku: Yer mood sure is great, huh. Well, it's much better than bein' down.

...Oh, if it ain't Anzu-han. Anythin' happen?

Aira: Anzu-san. You want to talk about the "Feature Live"?

Ah! Could it be my turn next!? Is that why you called out to me?

W-what should I do? Happy things keep happening one after another today - I might've used up all my luck.

Kohaku: Yer overexaggerating, Love-han. Even so, I'm glad for you.

Aira: But a "Feature Live," huh...

That means all these fans will come to the live just to see me, huh....

Anzu-san? Am I nervous? Well, of course I am. Just by imagining it I feel like my legs are trembling!

Kohaku: Don't ya think ya don't need to be that scared? For sure, bein' alone on such a huge stage might make you feel helpless.

But I think that until now, Love-han has done a great job as an idol already.

Aira: Kohakucchi....

You're right. If this was before, I might've said "Just me alone can't deliver a successful stage"

But I'm now different from those underachiever days....Yeah, Anzu-san. I'll try my best!

I'll give the best performance so that all my fans can make the best memories of their lives!

Kohaku: Kohkohkoh. That's the spirit, Love-han ♪

Anzu-han, you'll take photos for the feature live's pamphlet, yeah?

Aira: You came to discuss candid shots with me? Uwah, uwah.....! So that's what it's gonna be about after all!

I love this concept, since you can see the expressions of idols that you can't normally see when they're being idols ⭐

"Do you already have an image of what kind of candids you want to take?" you said?

As expected of Anzu-san to see through me....Actually, I've taken some pictures that I thought would be good for this concept.

Kohaku: You've gotten around to takin' photos already, that's amazin'.

Won't ya let me see them too? I might serve as a good consultant for the shooting ♪

Aira: This is kinda embarrassing but.... s-something like this!

Kohaku: Love-han spendin' time in a stylish lil' cafe. Love-han illuminated by the sunset. And this one's Love-han walkin' under the moonlight.

Aira: "Do I also have ones that aren't selfies?" Yes, actually I received help from everyone in Alkaloid.

Kohaku: Yer right. There're some photos where your unit members show up too. Looks like fun ♪

Aira: So, how do they look? I think something like this would be good.....

"They're well taken"? "Because you understand the charm of idols well, the scenes are chosen well too"?

Ehehe~ It makes me happy to be praised by Anzu-san ♪ Then let's put this one in the pamphlet...

Eh? "Please wait a moment"?

Kohaku: ....It seems Anzu-han and I have the same opinion. These photos of yers are a bit uncanny.

Aira: ....What part was no good?

Kohaku: It's not that it wasn't good. It's just, some of em' don't feel like Love-han....

Like the photo in this cafe. This store has been trendin' on the internet recently, so it's not strange for Love-han to spend time here.

But I dunno. I jus' feel like the vibe of this photo doesn't suit Love-han.

It's like I've seen this somewhere, or like some other idol took a picture like this before....

Aira: Anzu-san? Yep. I've collected everyone else's Feature Live pamphlets, of course.

...."Could it be that you adopted the same vibe of other idols' candid shots that you used as reference"?

Er, in that case, I'll retake them....! These photos should convey my image, after all.

If I retake my photos to feel similar to this, it'll work fine for the pamphlet, right!

Kohaku: ....Isn't your demeanor a bit strange, Love-han?

Aira: Eh!? T-that's not true at all!

These are the candid shots I finally get to do, I just want my fans to be happy with them...!

Kohaku: True as that may be... wait, there's already an expression that you don't show when you're an idol, right?

See, when Love-han gets fired up talking about idols....

Aira: Uwaaaaaahhh!?

Kohaku: Y-ya surprised me! What happened!?

Aira: S-sorry! I just remembered that I have to meet up with Hiro-kun!

I've gotta go!

Kohaku: Eh, Love-han!? ....and off he goes. I wonder, did I step on some kinda landmine?

"He was acting strange"? You think so as well, Anzu-han?

He wants to hide the fact that he loves idols, huh.

But there should be fans who already know that Love-han likes idols.

I feel like there's no meaning in hidin' it at this point....is there some other reason?

Anzu-han. Could you try askin' Love-han once again?

I too am lookin' forward to Love-han's solo live. Anzu-han, I'm countin' on you.

If there's anythin' that I could help with, feel free to say so anytime. I'll lend you my strength ♪

endnotes: ik I'm inconsistent w/ how I format Kohaku's dialect but hey I think it sounds more natural this way totally not an excuse👍

[twilightmalachite]

Altered - Angels and Devils 10

Author: Akira

Characters: Eichi, Tsumugi, Rei

Translator: Mika Enstars

EN Proofer: PitXRoxas

"If ya consider someone a friend, then they’re a friend. It doesn’t matter if the person you’re callin’ a friend agrees or not."

⚠️ This is an import from a unproofed Twitter Livetweet!

Season: Spring

Location: Yumenosaki Academy Infirmary

Content Warning: Contains suicidal ideation.

One hour later, in the Yumenosaki Academy infirmary…

Rei: Nah, it’s my bad, it’s my bad!

Eichi: ……

Rei: Sorry? I’d never have thought Tsumugi’s friend, well-known for bein’ ballsy as hell, t’be this weak—I mean, to be so delicate!

I didn’t expect you’d be spooked to the point ya couldn’t even stand!

Eichi: ……

Tsumugi: I dunno, I feel like that would’ve scared anyone. People don’t attend school expecting others to fall from the roof…

Even someone with normal nerves would be completely stunned by it.

Rei: So since ya barely reacted, that means yours ain’t normal at all, Tsumugi. I knew that much, though.

Tsumugi: Mine are normal, though~?

Rei: Ordinary people claim to be weird, while weird people claim to be ordinary, y’know.

Hmm~, I wonder which one this guy is…?

Tsumugi: Ah, allow me to introduce you. He’s in the same class as me—

Eichi: Fufu, no need to introduce me, I’m not one to identify myself.[1]

(…Because in due time, you’ll remember my name whether you like it or not.)

Rei: (—Is what he’s probably thinking, given that nasty look on his face.)

(Tsumugi’s been acting strange lately. He’s been acting strange for quite a while, actually.)

(He’s the kind of guy who tends to hide in the shadows, but lately his name’s been on the rise all around campus…)

(I wonder if it’s this guy’s fault. Eichi Tenshouin-kun, heir of the Tenshouin Zaibatsu, was it?)

(It was such a damn big deal when he entered the school, yet I haven’t heard a single rumor ‘bout him despite all that.)

(I have a feelin’ he’s not just another dilly-dallying little kid who became an idol just for the fun of it, as people say.)

(He has a strange look in his eyes. A contradictory look. They hold the heat of the sun, yet they’re also extremely cold.)

(Ya look like you’re plottin’ to kill someone~, little kid.)

(Well, not that I care.)

(The me right now doesn’t care about a single thing.)

(…Honestly, even if the bungee cord had snapped earlier, I wouldn’t have cared.)

Tsumugi: Eichi-kun, I’ve brought water~. Are you thirsty?

Eichi: Yes, thank you, Tsumugi.

You don’t have to worry so much. I just got dazzled from my garbage heart stopped working after a little scare.

It happens to me quite a lot.

Tsumugi: It’s not good if it’s happening a lot, though~! Why are you so careless when it comes to yourself, Eichi-kun?

Rei: Ahaha, Tsumugi of all people’s tellin’ you off for that!

I get it now. Thanks to my concern and inviting ya out to play, lettin’ ya learn how to act like a normal high school student, Tsumugi—

Now you’re usin’ that to worry and care for social outcasts, ones like how you used to be!

You’ve grown, Tsumugi. Your onii-chan is happy!

Eichi: “Onii-chan”? Have you guys known each other for a long time?

Rei: Not at all. How do I put it… Tsumugi, maybe it’s ‘cuz he’s weak-willed, but he’d always look suspicious, but he makes for an easy target.

It seemed like he was gettin’ bullied, so I helped him out for the fun of it back when he was a first year.

Eichi: Hmm. So you’re an ally of justice, huh, Sakuma-senpai?

Rei: Nah, nahh. I just wanted to look cool.

Just my nature. “I just couldn’t leave him alone”—that sorta thing.

It was like seein’ someone ostracize another… I guess I saw myself in him?

Eichi: Did you used to be bullied too, Sakuma-senpai? It’s hard to imagine that happening to you.

Rei: Ah, it’s no different than how things are now, but my household’s a little…

Eichi: …?

Tsumugi: Ahaha, the bullying was actually a misunderstanding on Rei-kun’s part. But his concern made me happy, so I’ve grown a bit attached to him since then.

We chat a little every time we run into each other, we’re not quite friends but not exactly strangers.

Rei: Hey now don’t be so distant, we’re friends, aren’t we?

Tsumugi: Are we? I haven’t really had many friends, so I don’t really know.

Eichi: Huh? You always seemed like you’re on good terms with everyone around you, though?

(…That’s why I took notice of you. I thought I could take advantage of your wide breadth of friendships.)

(I wouldn’t have thought you were so close to the top most popular person of our year, the superstar Sakuma Rei, however. It was a bit unexpected of you, Tsumugi.)

Tsumugi: Friends, friends, friends… It’s a relationship you see all the time in manga and novels, but I’m not exactly sure what defines it.

How close do you have to be before you start being friends?

Rei: It’s not somethin’ that’s defined like a mathematical formula. That part of ya is what’s strange ‘bout ya.

If ya consider someone a friend, then they’re a friend. It doesn’t matter if the person you’re callin’ a friend agrees or not.

It’s not like marriage. It’s intuitive, no laws, no contract, nothin’ of the sort.

Tsumugi: Hmmmm… Well, I’ll believe you on that, Rei-kun.

If you consider someone a friend, then they are, huh?

Rei: That’s right! You’re always judgin’ based on other people’s metrics, but you should trust your own feelings more!

Tsumugi: My own feelings… Hmm~, I don’t really understand those sort of things, though.

I’ve always only lived caring about what other people thought of my mother.

Rei: You’re all out of wack, aren’tcha~, yet your dull-lookin�� face insists you’re so ordinary and mediocre, huh?

Tsumugi: I mean, compared to you, everyone’s ordinary though?

← prev | story directory | next →

This is a common phrase often used by heroes in tokusatsu, which Eichi used to often watch as a kid. It’s a cool or mysterious way to be humble, in the “actions speak louder than words” way.

[the-wanted-man]

Consider me tardy to the party but! Dear Miya,

Like a great band once said, "It's not too late. It's never too late."

“Hey Miya. It’s that time’a year again, where I have an excuse t’send ya sumthin’ nice an’ have ya ‘on m’mind. I wanted t’apologize, fer bein’ so short wit’ ya lately. I dunno. Mebbe ya’ve noticed, mebbe ya’ haven’t, but I have been all too aware’a it. It’s not jus’ you, s’happenin’ everywhere but that ain’t much excuse. I worry that ya’ might think ya’ done sumthin’ wrong or pissed me off, an’ that ain’t th’case either. Life’s been hard, but that still ain’t an excuse. 

Truth is, yer one’a th’most steadfast people I know. I think it almost insane that we became friends off’a you kidnappin’ me. Yeah I know there’s a word fer that, an’ sum folk might reference me havin’ sum kinda syndrome or other but we both know that weren’t th’case. Truth is, when ya’ took me away, I knew there was more to ya.

Y’weren’t this scary woman hidin’ in th’shadows an’ takin’ people away. Th’bombs ya’ set around never hurt nobody, an’ shore they could have. But I always figured ya’ a woman reluctant t’do what she was doin’. Sum kinda self-destruction y’were tryin’ t’make so you could escape all th’terrible things goin’ on wit’ ya. I won’t pretend t’know what yer goin’ thru’, I don’t. I don’t think I ever will. I know them voices cause ya’ a good amount’a distress, an’ I know there ain’t much t’do ‘bout it, but I hope to help ya’ find sumthin’ one day. 

Yer not yer worst decisions tho’, an’ you’ve proved that every day since then. Ya’ve taken care’a me when I been blown up in th’streets. Checked in on me when no one else has. Y’come t’see me when ever yer feelin’ social an’ I always have appreciated that. I know if I ever need anything, you’ll be right there if I ask, an’ likely even if I don’t, an’ that’s a nice thing t’know. Yer a better person than ya’ want t’say, an’ I enjoy gettin’ t’know ya. 

I made ya a blanket. S’fer th’colder nights. S’got a symbol on it m’people use fer protection an’ I thought it might be nice fer ya. Anyroad, happy holidays. I care about ya’ muchly. I hope t’see ya’ soon, an’ mebbe talk ‘bout this deal ya’ got goin’. Over a cup’a peppermint hot chocolate. I’ll treat ya’ if ya’ve never had it.” 

The transmission ends there, the little magitek device’s blinking lights ending. It had come in a box with a colorful blanket of browns, oranges, baby blues, and yellows fixed in various patterns. At the center, several arrow like shapes were stitched into the fabric, going across a brown strip within the blanket. 

@miya-takahashi

[just-more-trolls]

16-20 Kani

16. Would you consider yourself more introverted or extroverted. How much do you like the company of others? Do crowds bother you or do you like the social energy.

“~Cv~ I’m ambiverted hun..”

“~Cv~ Love the social energy until’ I can’t stand it anymore..and also can’t stand bein’ alone for more than a day or two..it’s hell”

17. How good a liar are you? How often do you lie to others.

“~Cv~ Honestly? ..I suck ass at lyin’.. like straight up lyin’..”

“~Cv~ Now I’ll withhold information..or be as vague as possible but that’s a case-by-case basis..there has to be a reason..only thing I’ve so far lied ‘bout successfully is my blood color n’ that’s cause I’m technically not lyin’ anyway..”

18. How do you feel about pailing? Does it have to be a close bond, or a more casual thing to you.

“~Cv~ Geez fuck this got personal quick!! Think of the wrigglers!”

“~Cv~ I-I guess the former???? I honestly can’t see myself jumpin’ from person to person or anythin’ like that..hell I’m like..open in my pitch but it’s a miracle I got more’n just Teags..

“~Cv~ I don’t know how he does it..”

19. How far would you go to be perfect? Are you ok with flaws?

“~Cv~ Perfection is an illusion.. you can come close but the idea of “perfect” in itself is a flawed idea.”

“~Cv~ Flaws add a bit of character to a person.. Do I wish I didn’t have the flaws I have? Well yea..who doesn’t? But what someone may consider a flaw someone else will see as beauty or perfection or blah blah sappy shit..”

20. Are you easily jealous? How does jealousy make you feel?

“~Cv~ I wouldn’t say I’m easily jealous... I hate feelin’ jealous when I do feel it though..”

“~Cv~ But it’s jealousy in the sense of me wantin’ somethin’ like someone else has.. Or wantin’ to be part of somethin’ I’m kinda excluded from”

“~Cv~ Like..tell ya the truth I was gettin’ jealous of Teags n’ Oz not ‘cause they’re a thing..but ‘cause I wasn’t a hundred percent welcomed..n’ I guess it’s kinda my fault for distancing myself a lot n’ all that just so the jealousy could compound..”

“~Cv~ Ozeric’s a hard person to get to like someone..n’ I didn’t take it personally but it was beginning to bother me..”

“~Cv~ Thank the deities wherever they are that my 12th Perigee’s gift had the unintended effect of finally crossin’ that otherwise tightly-guarded wall.. I..honestly didn’t think he’d ever like me..”

[kuuyandere]

"you're not allowed to leave" was actually a gift to my darling since I felt bad at the beginnin I couldn't express how much I love him, heck I choked on the words "I love you" for a long time, despite the fact I'd get anxious everytime he was gone... sometimes I still do... I may be heavily obsessive, but I can freeze up, esp given when my darlin is actually heavily affectionate with me. I think before I actually said "you're not allowed to leave" as a way to say "I love you". although not a girl, you would be right about me typically bein more popular and fallin in love with my darlin who was completely socially outcasted, so I guess that could be "next door boy"? but yea, that playlist I guess was my first real display of love for him in our relationship despite the fact I literally spent years tryin to track him down after we were seperated for a while due to some life circumstances + we used to fight a lot (that could also play into my tsundereness... not used to not havin to constantly put up a guard and feelin vunerable is embarassin even if I do love him so much)

while I'm here, I'll also say emo boy was also a gift for him and probably is my weirdest playlist hsjdhdh

as for bunnyboy and lost cause, I typically do kind of have that "goin insane" type of thing in a lot of my yan playlists, since for me yandereism isnt a constant, but rather a reflection of my slippin mental health. if I'm doin well, I actually don't display or have any yandere urges/characteristics and typically default to tsundere.

you may also notice "you're not allowed to leave" was my first playlist that ended on a happy note... the magical wonders of oh fuck I love him HSKSHDH and also despite our really rough past, we are kind of that gross couple always all over each other and doesn't shut up abt how much we love each other, but I also think that part of why we love so much and resolve our issues so fast.... is an element of fear. we're both yanderes codependent on each other and can't function without each other, so lettin things even get slightly bad is super terrifyin for the both of us and we typically back down very easily when the other voices bein upset. is it healthy? idk hsjdhdh ~🎵

You and your darling sound really lovely together, I am happy for you! I am also glad that you sound a lot happier about him than how you described some of your previous relationships, despite the tough beginning and the possibly-unhealthy conflict resolution you mentioned. I know how it can be difficult to vocalize how much you love someone at first (I say from personal experience), like even though it may be the most obvious thing for you, expressing affection in words is vulnerable as you said, and I think making playlists dedicated to him was a sweet way to show that!

emo boy: This playlist starts more grungy and chaotic ("messy", for lack of a better word) and progressively gets more sweet and cheery, even getting higher in overall pitch towards the end. I think all the songs were connected as well by having more technological/electronic background music with synth sounds and vocal editing. I am curious as to why you say this one is your weirdest one!

blood on my teddy bear: This playlist is probably my second favourite after the first one you made (despite how cringey you say it is). It definitely has some edge, starting off a bit more unhinged with songs that have vocal distortion and a heavy beat. The middle of the playlist almost feels dreamlike with an echoey nature and soft synth snare(?) line. That part reminds me of lying on a hardwood floor staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night and feeling like you're falling, or late night drives and speeding down empty stretches of road with nothing but the windows cracked open for the wind as ambient noise. It feels like isolation, emptiness, silence maybe while passively thinking about violence. Then the last song is more sweet and positive while still keeping the drum theme. I believe you mentioned having a narrative element in this playlist, I wonder what your original thoughts and intentions were!

[appliedvillainy]

085. Aromantic cupid.

(It’s the early evening when Tynan walks into a little bar-and-restaurant for a bite and a drink. Upon entering, he finds Scott Parker, setting up a big table in the middle of the restaurant. Scott notices Tynan and waves.)

Scott: Eyyy, if it ain’t my favorite li’l hetero.

Tynan: If it isn’t the gossip train. What’s up?

Scott: Not much, dude. Jus’ got done havin’ some seriously bad times ‘n I’m feelin’ pretty great bein’ on th’ other side’f it.

Tynan: Well damn dude, I’m glad things’re looking up. You having a party?

Scott: Sorta! I got this li’l support group I run. We meet ev’ry other Sunday.

Tynan: What’s the group for? Cool parties anonymous?

Scott: Hell naw, we’re th’ ones throwin’ all the cool parties! It’s for aromantic people.

Tynan: There’s groups for that?

Scott: Hell yeah there is, ‘cause I made one.

Tynan: You mind if I sit in?

Scott: You aro too?

Tynan: Man, I dunno. I just know you’re a good time and I’m sure your friends are too.

Scott: Pfff. Watch it, you might jus’ be fallin’ for me.

Tynan: Like you wouldn’t want me to.

Scott: Long’s it’s no strings attached, fine by me.

Tynan: Well there you go.

Scott: So what’s been up with you? Your job still keepin’ you from havin’ fun?

Tynan: Yeah, as always. It’s been a little slow lately, with the occasional busy night. Had a pretty big thing happen the other night.

Scott: Guess we’re all gettin’ slammed with shit ‘t the same time, huh?

Tynan: Guess so. You mind me asking what happened?

Scott (shrugging): Couple things. Had a bit’f a fight with my dad. Wasn’t very pleasant, but now’t he’s gone ‘m feelin’ better about it. My bro ‘n this one friend’f mine really stood up for me ‘n it helped. ‘N then one’f my other friends came in ‘n helped me out with this other thing that’s been hangin’ over my head, so that’s lookin’ like it’s gonna work out. Things’re lookin’ up for this bad motherfucker.

Tynan: Must be nice having so many friends.

Scott: Don’ get all jealous on me.

Tynan: I used to be such a social butterfly. Now all I’ve got is my annoying family, and coworkers.

Scott: ‘m gonna hook you up with like, all th’ friends if’n you keep talkin’ like that. 

Tynan: Put me on blind friend-dates.

Scott: ‘s absolutely a thing I can do.

Tynan: Nah, don’t worry about it. 

Scott: You sure? ‘Cause that’s th’ shit I live for. I’m like a li’l cupid. Hookin’ people up.

Tynan: Aromantic cupid.

Scott: Damn right. ‘M so unfettered from romantic attachments ‘t I can focus properly on what other people need. See? ‘S like a damn superpower.

Tynan: You could be a superhero.

(Scott laughs.)

Scott: Yeah! Yeah, oh m’ god. Can y’ even imagine?? Me, a superhero? Oh m’ god.

Tynan: Go with the cupid theme. You could get a jetpack that looks like a little pair of wings, go around shirtless, carry a little nerf bow and arrow.

Scott: Okay, I’ll take th’ jetpack. Where do heroes even get those from? I’d use mine like, all th’ time. For ev’rythin’.

Tynan: They have super scientists making them. Like, the people who would be mad scientists if they were villains, except they’re not villains.

Scott: Hell! Get me a scientist. I’ll pay top dollar.

Tynan: I’ll see if any of my coworkers know one.

Scott: I’ll pay ya’ by buyin’ your drinks.

Tynan: Again? I thought we were married and past the flirting.

Scott: It’s never too late t’ flirt more.

Tynan: Seriously though, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

Scott: ‘s just a drink for a friend, buddy, no worries here.

Tynan: You sleep with your friends, dude. But as long as you keep it entertaining you can flirt all you want.

Scott: I’ll do my very best.

--End: Episode eighty-five.

[muwur]

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

[ask-jokeboi]

The Party

Hope everyone's having a great holiday season so far! This time of year isn't always easy but thankfully friends and a good distraction can make things easier. 

I drew these pic’s to pair with a moderately long fic I wrote to follow up the aforementioned party from earlier, it’s below the the cut! Read it if you want! Either way, Happy Holidays! 💜💚💛

Words: 4,142    Relationships: Harlivy /Harley & Joker friendship / Batjokes (mentioned)     Universe: Mine / Lego Batman

A/N: sorry for any typos or weird grammatical stuff, I'm good at art, not writing

Summary: Joker’s felt a little down since Batman’s been out of town, will his best friend Harley be able to cheer him up?

Warnings: Alcohol use, implied depression

_____________________

"C'mon Jay it'll be be fun!" Cheered Harley, mustering all the enthusiasm she could in an attempt to persuade Gotham's former clown prince of crime to pull himself together 

"I don't care!…. Go bother your girlfriend or something. Leave me alone…" He was currently piled under several layers of blankets, sunk deep into the ball pit he called a bed

"Nuh uh, I'm not haulin' my butt outta this room 'till you haul yours. You can stay in that pit and cry all ya like, but it won't fix nothin', you gott-"

"I don't GOTTA do anything!" Jay snapped. Throwing his blanket aside and revealing his less than kempt appearance, his face twisted into a frustrated glare

Harley, already familiar with Jay's usual harmless outbursts only sighed as she looked her long time friend up and down, taking in his surroundings with a curious eye

It'd been a month or two since Batman left the scene and his absence was definitely beginning to take a toll on the poor clown.

She could tell it'd been a while since he'd done anything to care for himself…. His hair, which was usually swept back into a flawless green pomp, lazily draped his face. The dull forest black of his roots beginning to seep back into the rest of it. Same could be said for the state his room which, due to his erratic nature, was always a bit untidy  but had recently fallen into a state of near disrepair. Bags of half eaten junk food and empty bottles of all sorts of things lay strewn across the floor, particularly around his half deflated bed.

Despite the mess, he still seemed a little...thin… more so than usual to be honest… his ribs visible beneath the loose shirt he wore, arms comparable to sticks despite the muscle.

most of all though, he just seemed... tired. Jay always looked tired out of makeup. It was one of the first things she'd managed to take note of when he'd first entered her office years ago…. But right now the purple rings beneath his eyes that never seemed to go away were deepened to a point that made it clear he wasn't getting much sleep or doing much for himself in general...

Seeing her best friend in a state like this was hard to witness… and although her partner, Ivy, didn't have much but mild disdain for Jay, Harley couldn't find it in herself to leave him like this… which is why she thought a party might lift his spirits a little 

"C'mooon! You love parties!! It'll just be a small one anyway!" It was actually much bigger than she was implying but Jay liked big and she didn't wanna scare him off too soon… 

"Yeah, like that'll make things any better… who did you even invite?? A good half of the rogues don't even like me…"

"Sure they do!"

Jay only looked at her, bereft and unimpressed. 

"I mean ok you and Riddler don't always get along and it took a lot a beggin' ta get ya un-banned from the iceberg lounge but still!!"

"Uhg whatever! It doesn't matter! I don't need those bozos seein' me like this anyway..."

"Like what?" 

"I don't know!  I'm just…... I'm not in the right… mood for something like that right now.... You know how this works… they'd see right through me. "

Back when Jay was still her patient they'd end up talking a lot about masks…Batman's would come up more often than not but every now and then he'd end up discussing his own…. Or more specifically, the metaphorical one he'd put on every time he picked up a brush and painted himself a new face…..

"Jay, sweetie…  you don't have to pretend to be okay… they won't think you're weak or nothin', you know that right?..."

Jay gave her an incredibly tired look before turning away.

"What happened to the Jay that wasn't afraid to let people know how he's feelin' huh? The one that turned every emotion into a show….?"

He kept his head down, shoulders stiff, before speaking...

"....Cause I'm not just sad this time…. " As he looked up slowly an emotion that was rarely seen on the mans face showed itself, flooding his eyes. 

"W- when I'd talked to Robin and Batgirl that last time and asked about Batman they gave each other this look and…. Something's wrong… he's in trouble or something I… I can feel it…..  W-what if he doesn't come back and he leaves me here all alone an-" 

Harley put a polished nail up to Jay's lips and smiled warmly.

"Shhhh…. You're worryin' too much puds… ur big dumb brain is just an overdramatic liar… don't listen to it okay?" 

Jay sniffled, giving her an understanding nod.

"You still got me an' your crew an' Bud and all the other little silly things that make ya days good doncha?"

He smiles halfheartedly. "Y-yeah…. But still… he was..."

"I know… he's special….but do you seriously think anything out there could actually kill Batman? THE Batman? C'mon now….  He's luckier than any bastard out there and you know it…"

"Yeah…. Yeah I guess ur right"

"Of COURSE I'm right!… now come on…" she offers her hand and helps her friend stand up. "Let's get that hair done and those nails shined up  so you're brain can take a break from making all those nasty thoughts" 

Jay smiled a little wider this time, forever grateful he had a friend as great as Harley around… he really didn't know what he'd do without her sometimes...

"Right…. Also… uh…. Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for….uh…. Bein'... around… I guess…" Jay practically mumbled...

Harley smiled knowingly, amused with his poor attempt of gratitude

"No problem, Pud's….." she gave him a peck on the forehead leaving a black smudge behind 

"now enough mush...Let's clean this mess and get ya fabbed up"

________________

A few hours later, Jay stood outside the titular iceberg lounge in his best winter fit, a long boa around his shoulders and a pair of unnecessary sunglasses obscuring the mascara he'd only half ruined on the way there…. 

He truly, honestly, did not feel like socializing with anyone at the moment, but who was he to refuse a doctor's orders?....

Taking a deep breath of the cold winter air, Jay stiffened up, smoothed the wrinkles from his vintage memphis style sweater and entered the lounge, heels high and head high as he could manage 

____________

When the doors swung open with a swirl of winter snow, Jay was greeted by a surprisingly full and stunningly silent room. Christmas music cut through the tension like a knife as everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Joker's fashionably late arrival.

He didn't know if it was because of his natural ability to demand attention or the fact that he hadn't been seen in nearly 3 weeks, but for some reason the room seemed slightly on edge. worried he'd come with another Joker brand surprise perhaps. Thankfully, Harley, who'd left his place a little earlier to get everything ready, noticed who'd finally arrived.

"JJ!! YOU MADE IT!!" she leaped off her stool and came running to grab him, The rest of the room taking it as a cue to un-tense and to go back to their festivities, the lounge lighting up  with warm greetings and laughter.

" Hey…" said Jay as Harley put an arm around his shoulder and escorted him to the booth she was sitting at….  

"So… is all of this for me or…?"

"No, did she tell you that?" Ivy who was sitting at the booth with his other less than fond acquaintance, Catwoman and someone else he didn't seem to recognize, gave a snide smile, Jay suddenly felt he should probably sit someplace else

"IVY!! SHHH" Harley shushed

"What? He was gonna find out out eventually…. It was supposed to be Penguin's annual winter ball" 

"Uh,It still is tho…?" said Kat, mouth full of shrimp 

"Well, yah…. Difference is we had to 'finesse' Penguin into letting HIM in" Ivy explained, disdain in her voice

"And you... helped with that?..." asked Jay, surprised. Ivy sighed

"for Harley's sake, yes. not yours" 

Jay smiled, amused. "well how charitable of you, here's to hoping you won't regret it"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "As if I don't already" she said, taking a short sip from her drink, Harley sitting down next to her give her thank u peck on the cheek.

"Hey, why'd you get banned from this dump anyway?" Asked Kat, eyes squinting curiously 

"I have no idea…." Jay shrugged 

"He put a coke and mento bomb in the fountain!" Harley interrupted 

"Oh yeah…." He'd totally forgot

"Ha! Awesome…" 

"Right uh, anyway, who the hell are you?" Jays attention suddenly turned to the woman sitting opposite of kat. She had light blue skin, bright white eyes and hair that made her look like a human lighting rod.

"Name's Livewire." She said, voice sharp as her appearance 

"She's from Metropolis" explained Ivy. Jay rose a brow.

"Metropolis huh?? How'dya like dealin' with boy scout full time over there?" He quizzed 

"Sweet!…" she exclaimed enthusiastically "Big blue aint got a thing on me! 'sides, dweeb's been outta town for months now! metropolis might as well be my personal playground"

The mentioning of Superman's absence made something in Jay's chest twist. He'd known their neighbor hero had been MIA for even longer than Batman, Supergirl taking over the workload just like Batgirl had in Gotham. but still… the reminder was enough to worry him. I mean… if superman was taking so much time up there, what chance did Batman have against whatever it was they were so busy with??

Trying his best to shake off the uneasiness building in his stomach Jay took a breath and snapped back to reality, offering Livewire his hand

"Well, uh... Livewire, i'm this city's head honcho while the bat's gone so welcome to Gotham and try not to wear it out" 

Harley and Ivy exchanged looks as Jay smiled slyly and took Livewires hand…

...Only for his usual gesture of hospitality to be met with an equally shocking grip that sent blue sparks flying in every direction.

"DAMN, what the- !! " Jay yanked his hand back and held it in pain, hot needles running up his arm.The new addition to Harley's crew laughed crudely and smiled

 "why do you think they call me 'LIVEWIRE' genius?" 

Jay stayed silent with defeat as the table went up in hysterics "Yeah fine, okay, I shoulda saw that one coming" he sighed and smoothed out his hair which had sprung up to stand on end, his face ever so slightly red "anyway, you ladies have a nice time… i'll set up shop somewhere else and let you guys… idk… flirt with each other or whatever..." without much fanfare he slunk off to sit someplace else.

After the table had settled down completely though, Harley noticed Jay making his way to the bar looking somewhat dejected.

"Aw Jay…." 

The rest curiously turned their attention to the direction of Harley's gaze.

"You're not going after him are you?" Asked Ivy after a beat.

"Well… yeah…?" Harley shrugged.

"Uhm, why?" Asked kat, dipping more shrimp into her cocktail "like if he's not in the mood for a joke that's kinda his problem…?"

"Yeah, but still…. I've never seen 'im like this for so long…. He's usually so funny and animated, it's like somethin' drained all the life out of 'im…." The concern on Harley's face was very apparent. Ivy brushed back a few strands of her hair and tried her best to reassure her.

"Look i'm sure he'll get his second wind when Batman comes back at some point… but ‘til then it's not your job to take care of him…" 

Harley sighed silently. "I know but… he's still my best friend… and if I hadn't met him, I wouldn'ta met you!" She squished close to her spouse with a smile, Ivy suddenly unable to hold back a small one herself.

"He helped me outta my slump all those years ago, least I can do is help 'im outta his..."

Ivy gave her a soft look before reluctantly caving "Kindness has always been your best and worst trait, silly bee…" she said with a smirk "fine, go ahead and do your thing, I've got plenty of company over here in the meantime…"

Harley smiled happily and gave her one last kiss before running off to join Jay at the bar.

____________

Jay sat alone at the bar in silence until he was suddenly startled by Harley's arrival.

 "What's shakin' grumpy gills?" She asked pulling up a stool.

Jay didn't answer as the bartender slid over a funfetti martini topped with the works, Jay lazily catching it and drinking deeply.

"Those guys didn't get ta ya did they? I know they seem mean bu- "

"Ah… I don't care about them…" said Jay dismissively  "we're all villains here right? I'm sure they got their reasons… sides, Livewire's pretty fun even if she did fry my Joy buzzer" He said regretfully…

"So what's up then…?" Asked Harley, head tilted 

Jay looked down at the table with a frown, fingers anxiously scraping the side of the glass in his hand….

"What she'd said about metropolis…. And… superman…."

"Oh…"  Harley nodded "well…. I'm sure they're together wherever they are…. Right? Him and Batman? And I mean, with Superman around, he's bound to be okay….." 

Jay had a hard time matching her enthusiasm but that logic did comfort him some. "Yeah… yeah I guess so"

"C'mon Jay, you gotta get that stuff off your mind for a minute! Go mingle! Go dance!… look at everyone who came this time! Turn-out's never been so big!"

As Jay's looked around the room, Harley did have a point, usually these get-togethers only managed to scrounge up about half the gang, but it looked like almost all the rogues in town had come this time. Even D-listers like Polkadot man, Killer Moth, Crazy Quilt ect. Had managed to show up, plus people he didn't seem to recognize…

For example at the bar sat Scarecrow and a… Oddly scruffy looking man he looked to be sharing a drink with. He'd heard from Riddler over the phone some time ago that crow had found himself a friend and that the two were "in cahoots".  whatever that was supposed to mean. He supposed that must've been the "friend" in question…

A few tables down sat another unfamiliar  in a polkadot shirt and a pair of cracked thick lensed glasses. He had a peculiar looking puppet sitting on his lap which made J raise a brow, but he didn't judge. Looking at his woefully nervous face he guessed it must it must've been a security thing anyway… 

Despite the big crowd though, Jay did notice one person missing of whom he hadn't seen in quite a while...

"Yeah I guess everyone is here...  except uh, Lex I guess…?" Jay considered himself friends with metropolises king of corruption, even if the feeling wasn't always mutual. Seeing so many crooks he knew in one place made him realize how rare it was to see the mal hearted mogul at these things.

Unfortunately, Harley could only shrug with defeat. "Ah I tried to get Lex but you know how he is… nobody's seen that shut in for ages".

Jay's eyes narrowed at that "How long is ages…. ?" He pressed

"I dunno… a few months guess???  Livewire said he's been quiet lately, probably off in one of his labs making some over convoluted instrument of destruction I guess"

The growing list of missing big shots was beginning to piece something together in Jay's head… what on earth was Lex up to? Where was superman?? Why did the league need Batman's help? How did it all connect?? After a moment Harley noticed Jay slipping into his thoughts again and shook his shoulder lightly to pull him out of it.

"Hey, don't worry about that egghead. he'd only kill the mood if he were here anyway" 

Jay couldn't disagree, the billionaire was kind of notorious for being a giant stick in the mud.

"If you're really worried about what's goin' on with those guys, you can come up with a plan Tomorrow…. right now we got a' open dance floor, unlimited drinks and a Karaoke competition that's about ta kick off in ten"

The word 'Karaoke' was enough to snap Jay back to reality. "Did you say Karaoke?" 

"Yes, I did."

"Do they hav-"

"Yes, they have Queen" 

Jay nearly looked as if someone had told him the best news of his life. "Oh thank god" maybe Harley was right. Worrying would have to wait. 

_____________

The rest of the night went on with few hang ups. Drinks poured, music played and poorly screeched lyrics kept the mood upbeat.

The Karaoke stage hosted performance after performance, some more enthusiastic than others. Some painful, others surprisingly pleasant. Jay's teetered off the edge of both categories, but when "somebody to love" burst through those speakers, he'd sung it with his whole chest. The best performance by a long shot though had to be Ivy's who's affinity for 50's ballads lent to her beautifully rich voice and her's was closely followed by the Dent's who'd decided to attempt a duet with no chorus which everyone found somewhat impressive.

Emotions did flare up once or twice though, as they tend to do when it comes to villain gatherings. Ed and Jay got into a fight about something stupid and unimportant, both obviously enjoying themselves, Bane and Croc engaged in an arm wrestle that woefully ended in a tie, and Jay inevitably got worked up about Batman again, this time with a crowd of eager listeners somewhat entertained by his rambling, giving questionable advice here and there.

At the get-together's height, the dance floor had filled to the point where Penguin was just about ready to call the whole event off until Riddler dragged him on to the floor himself.

After another hour or so the party wound down some more and the night devolved into quiet discussions between friends, everyone either ready to leave or half asleep. Eventually Jay and Two-face of all people were left alone. Once Ed, Crow, Hatter and the rest had gone home.

Jay always liked Harv, for someone known for his temper he seemed to have a lot of patience and Jay found both of his selves uniquely interesting in their own ways. Harvey the "handsome" one was always very nice, easily flustered, and had a sadness in his eyes that was hard to ignore. "Dent", the one famous for all those 2 themed crimes, was a bold individual and one of the most brutally honest people he knew. That night though, even he seemed a little sad. He admitted later that it was because it'd been a while since he'd gotten to talk to his old pal Bruce, someone Jay was mildly familiar with of course, and they spent the rest of the night discussing Batman and wayne and how they seemed so similar until it really was time to head home. 

 sometime after midnight, long after everyone had either left or found someplace to pass out, Harley broke up with her girl gang again to come get Jay who'd fallen asleep in an empty booth.

"Wake up clown" she said loudly, nudging him a bit. Jay giggled quietly in response, turning over after a moment and opening his eyes.

"Oohh what's up??"

"Time to go." 

"Aw…" Jay huffed disappointedly, then did his best to sit up straight, his head slowly spinning as he did so "ah jeeze…"

"Don't worry I called one of your guys, he's waiting outside." She explained "I dragged you here, might as well drag you home" 

"You did that for me?" Jay smiled "That's so nice…."

"Mhm" carefully, she took his hand got him to his feet, doing her best to keep him up straight. As they headed out they met up with Ivy at the door

"Taking pennywise home?" She asked 

"It'll only take a minute" Harley assured 

"Alright… don't take too long…" she turned to leave but before she could, Jay suddenly spoke up.

"H-hey, Wait!" 

Ivy turned around, brow raised "You have something to say to me?"

"Uh… yeah? I mean… sort of? I just, uh… wanted to say i'm sorry for…  messing up your garden all those times…." 

Ivy blinked "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I just thought you shud kno….  And that um…. Maybe you'd hate me…. A little less... if I said sorry for once..." the frown on Jays face was absolutely pitiful, Ivy could only roll her eyes.

"I don't hate you… Joker"

"Oh?"

"I just think you're annoying…."

"Oh…." Jay couldn't really tell if that was any better but at the moment he was too drunk to care. "Okay…"

With that ivy turned around to join Kat and Livewire

"Thanks for the apology though I suppose…Take care of yourself…. And, Harley don't take too long… it's only 1:00am we still have plans."

"Don't worry Ive's  i'll catch up." 

after one last look, Ivy went back on her way and Harley continued walking J to his car.

As they went Jay hummed to himself, swaying slightly, until a certain thought made him go quiet again.

"....Harley….?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, J?"

"Am I a bad friend?" The question just as out of the blue as his apology to Ivy…. 

Harley looked at him, concerned "Why do ya ask?"

"I just…. Please?" He pleaded. Harley hesitated for a long moment but decided being honest was probably best.

" not exactly but… maybe sometimes"

"Hm…" Jay decided he'd have to work on that

"But I also know ya don't really wanna hurt anybody…. That you try your best everyday ta make people happy and that you've been through just as much any of us….  A few mean comments an' dumb pranks ain't gonna make anybody think you're the devil or somethin'….not me or any of the other guys... "

Jay had to smile at that, Harley always had something smart or nice to say no matter what. still, her answer only made him feel worse about how he'd been earlier when she was just trying to help… he really, honestly, didn't deserve her…. But the least he could do was let her know he was glad to have her...

"Harley…?"

"Yeah, J…"

"Thanks for being really, really great all the time… and… y'know… around… " Harley smiled as she secured his arm around her shoulders. 

"Thanks J..." 

"also sorry for sucking sometimes..."

She sighed. "It's fine Jay…."

carefully, she hauled his ragdolling body a few more feet and shoved him into the back seat of his car. J grunting as his head hit the leather seat.

"Now go home an' try not to get lost on your way to the door" She said sternly. Jay gave her a lazy wink and a pair of wobbly finger guns.

"Gotcha." 

with that,Harley slammed the door shut and the J-Mobile's engine roared to life. One his lackeys sitting in the driver's seat.

"Where to boss? HQ?"

"Yup… ah, sorry t' call ya out so late…"

"S'alright boss…. Don't worry about it"

As the car lurched forward, street lights shining in through the windows as snow fell ever so lightly over Gotham like a dusting of fresh powdered sugar, Jay did inevitably start thinking about Batman again, wondering when he'd come back, desperately wishing he knew anything about where he was right now….

The thoughts were hard to ignore and when he got home he knew he'd be surrounded by the same walls he'd spent the last month trapped with them in….  even so, the world felt a little less washed out than it had before he left, and it wasn't just because of the alcohol swirling in his blood. 

He may not have had Batman... But today reminded him he wasn't alone.

He had friends… real friends… In a way he'd always considered them such… but deep down there was always doubt. I mean sure he got along better with some than others, but after knowing people so long he shouldn't have been so dumb to think they hated him as much as he thought they did. 

When you're a villain in Gotham sometimes all you have are other weirdos in the same boat as you to help keep you and everyone else afloat. People need people in more ways than one…  and as Jay drifted off to sleep in the back of his gaudy getaway vehicle, laying in a position that was just barely comfortable, he pushed his worries aside and made sure that was something he'd never let himself forget.

~ End ~

[intersexfairy]

so like I dont know WHO to ask but recently I've been havin a crisis over possibly bein intersex. I'm not gonna detail all my exact experiences out in an ask because If I were to, I'd rather do so in a one on one conversation as its personal and gets into some uncomfortable talk.. such as regardin my own personal set of genitals... but a key thing thats been botherin me is that. every intersex person Ive ever met or seen n such has always had a definin medical proof, a definin experience of havin it directly there and unquestionable due to their medical experiences. while I am disabled beyond belief, I am kind of actively denied access to the doctor without a lot of fightin and possibly dangerous to me livin symptoms n proof of "needin" a doctor. I also have trauma and would probably get more trauma if I let someone else near my genitals even if things I know down there could be "concernin" for "abnormalities". most of what makes me question bein intersex (minus whatever is goin on Down There) is that socially, despite my agab, its like everyone I meet spins a wheel on how to perceive my gender. I literally didn't use the locker rooms for gym n changed in a private one. I can convince easily someone that I am cis male or cis female dependin on my mood. and overall feelin alienation from supposedly my agab and not in a gender way, but in a body way. Im transneutral and even other transneutral ppl who are perisex I find it hard to relate to their stories 100% and it feels like a mix between amab n afab I relate to but neither 100% on their dysphoria or their bein perceieved by society or anything. I literally get both masculine and feminine dysphoria from my own body? I also have a lot of experiences I "shouldnt" for my agab... I feel alienated from bein perisex due to this but Im also scared and feel like Im fakin to be intersex because I have no medicial experience or "proof" in that regard. and I don't know what to do because doctors arent an option but theres also the fear of bein wrong because it feels like bein intersex is the only explaination for what Ive experienced. help????

You don't need a doctor to sign off on whether or not you're intersex. You don't need a diagnosis. There are plenty of intersex folks out there without one, and some of the ones that do have one, their diagnoses are faulty or incorrect.

We don't exclude people for not having a diagnosis - at least, most of us dont IME, and those that do are normally very problematic otherwise so their opinion doesn't matter, since it's informed by bad things.

Intersexness isn't about what the medical establishment says about us. They are our oppressors, and to say that you need a medical diagnosis to be intersex would go against everything we're fighting for. It puts power in their hands, and pathologizes intersexness, which is the opposite of what we're going for. People not already diagnosed in childhood may pursue diagnoses to know more about their body, to get some kind of answer as to why they're different, or to have that groundwork to build on for if they plan to transition (which, for intersex people, transitioning physically can occur whether your cis, trans, etc.)

I don't feel comfortable having conversations with strangers about genitalia, however I can tell you that intersexness, to the non-medicalists of us, is primarily about experiences, internal and external - with ourselves, others, and our bodies.

What you've described here is an experience common to many of us. Alienation from your agab, alienation from cisness and transness at the same time, avoiding places like locker rooms, passing as cis male/female circumstantially, etc.

If it helps you feel better, not only do I relate to what you've said about your experience - I dont have a proper diagnosis either. I'm diagnosed with PCOS (which, for some people, is an intersex variation), but the doctor who diagnosed me with that did bloodwork which he never explained to me, told me "You could have PCOS, Cushings," paused uncomfortably, and then said "Something else. So, I'm diagnosing you with PCOS since that's what your mom has."

And that's the thing with diagnosis too - a lot of us get misdiagnosed with things like PCOS and can't receive a proper diagnosis because getting a doctor to admit you're intersex can be difficult. Because they dont want us to exist, and if they can pass us off as perisex and convince us to take hormones and change our bodies with a different diagnosis, they will.

So, yeah. I don't know my variation, outside the guess that I am hyperandrogenic XX. I'm disabled too, and have my access to medical care restricted. So I get it, I really do.

I used to feel invalid, like an intruder, but the more I listened to the experiences of other intersex people, especially those with similar experiences and bodies to mine, I accepted my intersexness in spite of medicalism.

I can't tell you whether you're intersex or not ofc, but you know who can? You! Keep exploring. Keep learning. Keep looking into yourself. Keep talking to intersex people or reading about us. In time, if you're intersex.. You'll know based off that.

P.S: I'm transneutral too! Also transmasc, but still. Figured I'd mention.

[starsandauras]

Prompt #12: Alterations

FFXIV 30 Day Writing Challenge Prompt 12: Alterations (Extra Credit/Makeup Day)

“So I punched him!” Alisaie all but growled, swinging her arm for emphasis, only to wince as one of the pins in the shoulder of the pale colored fabric she wore poked her.

“As you should!” agreed Moenbryda, voice filtered through the speakers of Brigid’s streaming laptop. “Trying to lay his hands on your food like that.”

“Pray do not encourage my lady,” pled Urianger, off camera.

It was time for the monthly Dash call for a certain tier of Brigid’s UndrWritr subscribers, a chance for them all to socialize and enjoy themselves without her fellow streamers having to perform for a chat, and for everyone to spend time together as friends. It was often that Brigid would work on projects or do fittings during these calls, and this time it seemed one of these fittings centered on Alisaie. A folded pile of similarly pale fabric was set to the side, seemingly waiting to be worn by Alphinaud.

Brigid hummed softly around the pins held in her mouth. She was adjusting the fit of the pale fabric Alisaie wore, sighing softly as she tugged the back. “‘Tisnae as though she was punchin’ Alphinaud,” she pointed out, and the Elezen sitting in the corner with a book hummed in agreement.

“Is this the little snot from your fencing lessons?” Thancred asked, looking up from tuning his guitar.

Alisaie huffed, scowling. “Unfortunately,” she confirmed, and several people on the Dash call winced.

Estinien huffed as well, crossing his arms. “You should do more than punch him next time,” he said. At Aymeric’s silent head shake he added, “He won’t learn otherwise!”

“If we must plan vengeance can we please plan something that won’t get my sister expelled from her chosen sport?” Alphinaud asked, looking up from his book. His carbuncle purred softly and gently headbutted the side of a leg, earning some pets.

“Should have hit him with the pommel,” Alisaie grumbled.

“I’m thinkin’ you should be handin’ him his arse in a duel, meself,” added Brigid, gently laying her hands on Alisaie’s shoulders. “Turn with me,” she murmured softly, and Alisaie did as told, giving Brigid better access to her back. “Breathe in deep and then be lettin’ it all out.” Orders were followed as Brigid studied the give of the fabric. “Is it feelin’ tight ‘tall?”

Alisaie paused, then nodded. “Along the back and sides.”

Brigid nodded as well, collecting a seam ripper from her supplies. “Let’s be seein’ what’s needin’ lettin’ out then,” she said, coming around to Alisaie’s side. “Aye, seein’ some wrinkles ‘long the hips,” she confirmed, and started opening up the side seam. She soon reached the point where they smoothed out, and she did the same on the other side.

Alisaie frowned and repeated her breathing from earlier, shaking her head. “Still too tight up the back.” Brigid sighed softly.

“Slash and spread?” Y’shtola asked, looking up from her embroidery.

Brigid sighed again but nodded, reaching for her dressmakers shears. “‘Tis lookin’ like,” she agreed, and slowly cut her way up the center back, looking up and waiting for Alisaie’s nod. When she did Brigid set the shears to the side, picking up a length of the same pale fabric. “Bein’ glad I’m havin’ left over muslin.” She slid it under the edges of the cut, pinning it in place.

“I don’t believe this is one of your drafts,” mused Haurchefant, leaning his chin on his fist.

Brigid shook her head. “‘Tis bein’ a commercial pattern, nay havin’ time to be startin’ from the bodice and skirt blocks. And so ‘course ‘tis needin’ plenty of work. How’s your arms, lass?”

Alisaie flexed her arms and moved them about, emphasizing the shoulder. “I probably couldn’t fence in it, but it’s good enough.”

Brigid hummed and started taking pinches of fabric under her arms. “Are you bein’ sure? I can be raisin’ the arms-eye if you’re needin’ better movement.”

“How likely am I to need to fence in this dress?” Alisaie responded, voice flat.

“More likely than you think, dear sister,” Alphinaud pointed out, turning a page in his book. She huffed and shot him a glare.

“I’m raisin’ the arms-eye,” Brigid decided, pinning her pinches in place. “Maybe I should have ‘least been startin’ from the bodice block,” she murmured.

“I’ve missed the last couple of calls,” Ysayle soon spoke up, “what are you fitting Alisaie for, exactly?”

Both twins seemed to wilt, Alphinaud abandoning his book and his carbuncle crawling up into his lap and leaning against his chest.

“We’re being introduced to polite society,” he grumbled.

“I’m a bloody débutante,” Alisaie practically spat.

The Ishgardians promptly winced, as did Thancred and Y’shtola.

“How long ‘til you can be goin’ on the shelf, as they’re sayin’?” Brigid asked, turning Alisaie back and forth as she studied the mockup.

“Five years,” Alisaie grumbled. “Not soon enough.”

“If they don’t already consider you a spinster they’re more foolish than I thought,” Moenbryda added.

“Bloody Sharlayan upper class,” murmured Thancred. “I expected you’d both been gone so long they’d given up on all the coming out frippery.”

“I thought so too!” whined Alisaie, as Alphinaud buried his face in his carbuncle. “How long have we been in grad school? Since we were eighteen? And then Mother’s sending us an aethermail telling us to get ready and come back home because Father’s set the date and it’s been long enough and— argh!”

“Easy now lass, dinnae want you gettin’ poked ‘gain,” Brigid warned.

“Why are you even going then?” Estinien asked as Aymeric sipped his tea.

“Especially since it’s obvious how much you hate this,” added Lyse, finally speaking up.

The twins sighed again.

“Grandfather,” Alphinaud eventually said, voice muffled by the carbuncle. The carbuncle lifted a paw to pat at him.

“It’s important to him,” Alisaie added, looking down at the floor. “And it’s the only high society thing he’s ever asked of us.”

“And ‘tis why I’m makin’ an incredibly beautiful gown and strikin’ly handsome suit for these two, suitable for folks livin’ so high on the hog, but in cuts makin’ them all absolutely furious.” Brigid giggled. “Are you still wantin’ the skirt tear ‘way with the trousers on under?”

A glint came to Alisaie’s eye, and she grinned widely. “Black?” she asked, “With the flared ankle?”

The same glint came to Brigid’s eye, and she smirked. “With a red racin’ stripe down the outer seam,” she promised. “And a wee jacket in a tuxedo cut. Which we’re needin’ to fit next, so off you pop.”

“Lord Fuckface is going to be enraged,” Thancred said with as big a grin as Alisaie.

“Then my lord must needs deal with it, as the youth say,” Urianger commented, making Moenbryda burst out laughing.

“Oh, be sure to wear sunglasses!”

[norafike]

Despite all this, I still love you 16

“It's a pleasure to see you here!” Dutch cheered as he quickened in his steps to greet the female. Nora kicked herself from the saddle and closed the distance between them, taking his hand for a handshake before following him over towards the porch where Arthur stood, watching with an eyebrow raised. “I had Trelawny and Miss Gaskill travel into Saint Denis to buy you a dress for a such a formal occasion, they're all waiting upstairs in my room with.. Molly.” The way he said her name was forced and bitter and he grimaced at the mention.

Nora bit her tongue to not snap at him, give him a scolding for his treatment of the woman who grew up an aristocrat and instead forced herself to silently follow behind him up the stairs of the house and quickly he had pushed her behind the doors and closed them. “Dutch placed the dress here.” Molly said as she reached beneath the bed to pull open a white box, it wearing into nothing and covered in dust from the time spent away. Nora took it from her hands and placed it on the old mattress before pulling the garment out. “It looks beautiful.” She mumbled and the corner of Molly's mouth had twitched into a small smirk.

“Actually, Mary-Beth came and asked me what would be a good picking for a formal event and I said that my Ma would've said somethin' beautiful but not too flashy. They returned with this old thing and I had fixed it up a little for you.”

Nora nodded as she held it against herself, her hand running over the gold embroidery. She admired the small patterns before laying it out on the bed to admire it at a greater distance, a feeling that this had been one long dream she had yet to wake from. “I ain't never had somethin' like this to wear… it's strange.”

“You'll get to admire it plenty, for now it's best we get you ready before Dutch gets annoyed at the time we're wasting.”

...

The mansion was extravagant and lit so beautifully in the night that she found herself staring in awe at its exterior, mesmerized by the small details and the aura of superiority it held.

Arthur had an arm held out towards her that she took gratuitously and together the pair had followed behind the other men as they entered the party together. She behaved accordingly and spoke only when addressed and eventually Dutch had turned on his heel to face her with a gentle smile, at the same time addressing Bill and Hosea. “Why don't you go and join the party while Arthur and I talk with Bronte.”

She agreed with the idea and walked with the men outside, stopping short outside of the door so Hosea could turn to them. “Bill, listen out and gather what information could be useful. Nora for now blend in, I've told Arthur to come your way if he finds anything interesting.”

“So wait for Arthur.” She sighed and Hosea only could give her a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, you couldn't do more.”

“It's fine, just glad you boys were polite enough to invite me along.” She gave Hosea a toothy grin before finally leaving their sides to stand near a group of women who held their chins high and eyes pointed down in looks of disgust. They scoffed when Nora stood near them and would occasionally spare a giggle amongst themselves, trying to disguise it by drinking from their champagne glass but Nora was far more observant than she had let on and noticed straight away their snobby attitude.

Usually she would punch an individual if they had acted like this and in any other circumstances she probably would have done so anyway, but she chose to dig her nails into the palm of her hand and pretend to not notice.

As the party went on she had taken to drinking more champagne than cared to admit and slowly her head began to grow heavy, but she persisted on with the mission and engaged in simple pleasantries with the occasional guest who passed by and eventually she felt a cold hand squeeze her shoulder, a chill running through her flesh at the contact. “Come with me.” He whispered, gently taking her hand and pulling her from the main ring of people and towards a secluded path where she realised that he was following one of the mayor's servants.

“Arthur?” She whispered and he only shushed her as they snuck into the house. They both took extra care in their steps and at one point the servant turned briskly on his heel and had almost caught the pair of them had it not been for Arthur's quick thinking.

He stepped forward and looked left and right before continuing on their pursuit, waving over his shoulder at her. “Come on.” She listened to instruction and broke into a gentle jog to catch up with him, the echo of her movement was loud and Nora exhaled a sharp breath through gritted teeth as she worried somebody would march over and question them about their antics.

When they were confident that the coast was clear, they both ascended a staircase and stopped short just at the top to see the servant enter a room. Arthur turned back towards Nora and extended a finger to point at the door and quietly spoke to her. “While we were bein' escorted up here our guide had shut the door before we could even get a look at it.”

“So it could be somethin' important?” Arthur nodded slowly. “It could very well be, yes.”

After a couple minutes of waiting and nobody leaving the room they had been watching, Arthur had decided that they should sneak over and hope that somehow there was another exit so the room was empty. In a big house like this neither doubted the possibility of another entrance and so quietly they tiptoed over and pushed the door open, holding their breaths in case someone was waiting on the other side.

Collectively they let out an exhale of air when they were met with an empty room and both relaxed as the door closed behind them. Nora would keep an ear open in case somebody decided to approach the room they weren't supposed to be in but fortunately for them the house was eerily quiet.

“C'mon, we need to get out of here before someone catches us.” Arthur slipped some documents behind his coat before taking Nora's hand and walking her out of the mansion and back to join the party. This time they didn't bother going quietly and rather chose quickness to exit the building. Eventually, they reunited with the other men and subtly, Arthur would pat his chest where the papers were hidden to inform Dutch that he in fact stole something of value to them.

“We should go quick.” Hosea informed as he slowly pushed the group outside. “Lenny should be around with the wagon but the longer we hang around the more likely we'll be caught for stealin', at least that is, if someone saw you.”

...

“Arthur, why don't you an' I talk about what you found and Nora-” Dutch turned and faced her with a false smile. “I assume you'll be headin' back home now?”

“Might stay a small while, but I do need to return before my brother's end up killin' Lem.” She shared a chuckle with the leader and just as she said that the man she mentioned had emerged from inside the old plantation house to lean against one of the pillars. She gasped when she saw him but shook her head and smiled. “But I guess I'll be stayin' longer since he's here.”

Sharply Dutch turned on his heel and scowled when he saw Lem standing there. Maintaining this ‘great leader’ persona, Dutch only shook Lem's hand in greeting before ignoring any further social interactions and entering the house. Unfazed by this, Lem only managed a small chuckle before he walked over to join Nora's side. “What are you doin' here?”

“Nice seein' you too.”

“I didn't mean it like that, just surprised was all.”

“I w-was just playin'.”

Nora took his hand and walked with him over to the round table where Mary-Beth had been sitting with a bowl of stew in hand. She mainly prodded at the chunks in the bowl and found it hard to really sit down and eat, the worry of what could have potentially happened to Kieran becoming far more concerning. “Hey, Mary-Beth.”

She only managed a lazy wave, putting on a brave face now since she had become accompanied by two new people. “How are ya feelin'?” Nora asked.

“Oh I'm fine, thank you for askin'.” She answered. “ I guess I'm still worryin' about Kieran. What if somethin'… what if somethin' bad happened.” Nora reached forward and placed a hand on top of hers, breaking out into a small whisper. “I'm sure he'll be okay, nothin' to worry about.”

Mary-Beth looked back and forth before leaning closer to speak with her, worried of being thought of as strange if someone were to overhear. “I can't shake this feelin' that he's not okay.” She told and Nora's eyebrows furrowed when she heard this.

“You really are worried, ain't ya?”

“Oh more than anythin'.”

Nora nodded. “I ain't seen or heard anythin', but I am lookin'. Eat up for now okay, Mary-Beth.”

“I'm not really that hungry.” She explained before taking the still-full bowl and walking away from the two.

“Poor girl.”

Lem folded his arms and leaned against them on the table. He gave her a subtle smile that she picked up immediately and for a short while all the two of them had been doing was staring at each other in silence. “How long had you been here anyway?”

“F-Few hours maybe.”

“Ah, they let you in?”

“No. Bill Williamson was on guard duty but eventually he let me enter the camp- was hesitant because nobody was here. Leader wise.”

“Big bad Bill.” She shook her head and smiled coyly at Bill when he looked back at the mention of his name. He only stared down at her before turning back around to face the fire, noticing the dancing flames.

Nora opened her mouth to speak more before a blood-curdling scream ripped through the quiet camp and Mary-Beth frantically pointing towards the entrance. When Nora turned to look that way her eyes began to widen and her mouth hung open in shock at the headless rider coming in.

[brooklynislandgirl]

Does your muse prefer gentle lovemaking or rough sex? {from your local neighbourhood kindred}

Love like We Love || Accepting

Ever since Beth was old enough to believe kisses turned frogs into princes {and to question why it was never the other way around, why the goal was to become one of the monsters that only human beings, particularly the rich and the entitled, can be} she knew that love was supposed to be soft. It was supposed to be lilac-tinted and sweet, all with it’s attending gentleness, and of course harrowing adventures like figuring out how to retrieve the golden ball from the well or where the cat got those red boots.

Even now into her adulthood she believes romance still ought to be like that, overcoming terrible odds armed only occasionally with the faith that things will go as they must and that love can still conquer everything.  But she isn’t naive. She’s seen these kinds of things played out in movies and television, wide extremes of ranges between the sultry but still tender to the horrifically violent where the exchange is less about expressing adoration and more about taking power and privilege over someone else. When she was older and being ‘encouraged’ to put childhood away, she’s seen it close up by accident. And her brother’s explanation opened up an entirely different perspective for her. Made her realise things about herself she isn’t wholly comfortable with.

And the more time she spends with Mischa, the more she has dreaded this coming up in otherwise innocent conversation. She doesn’t blame him for being curious. She doesn’t blame him for asking in a way that isn’t coyly hidden behind flowering verse. She does, however, squirm on her side of the couch, and eyes her wine glass on the coffee table. She doesn’t reach for it, doesn’t need it to lubricate her social graces, though she does draw the lap blanket strewn across her lap down and over, tucking it around her leg. Doing so to give herself a moment to gather her thoughts, to consider the question as honestly as it is asked.

“Mebbe...bot’ of dem? I t’ink dere a time an’ a place for eiddah one. Passion is not some kine dat lives well in captivity. It can be gentle, nurturing. I would hope dat...when it happens for me... dat it starts dat way. But dere’s also some kine about more animalistic side. Bitin’. Clawin’. Bein’ driven t’ da brink of howlin’ madness because dere no civilised words t’ express what ya feelin’ inside. An’...bein’ how I am, what I am... I’m more built for da latter, psychological and physically speakin’.” She doesn’t even follow her own train of thought, and instinct almost pushes out the words, ‘mo beddah I show you’. She doesn’t though. She thinks Mischa is by limitation more like her. That the physical aspect of love making is not something that can be done at the shift of the wind, the change of the tide. “Situational.” She clears her throat, raises her gaze to meet his, and if nothing else, her blood is surging in her ears and beneath her face like a pounding drum tide. “Is...is dis somet’ing ya t’inkin’ of explorin’? Some kine ya want...wi’ me...?”

[kittkaleen]

FFxivWrite 2020 - Prompt #18 Panglossian [https://ffxiv-write.carrd.co/]

She’s thinking about something her Gran once said, “There is a point where optimism crosses to stupidity and you’ll find that point without looking for it.” Today is that day, now is the moment, and she’s not the offender. A man by the name of “Master Jax” has requested her services and he hasn’t shut up since the moment she met him. Kitt’s trying her level best to get basic information to decide whether she’ll accept the job. It’s not going well.

“Miss Kaleen, I coulda been anythin’. Smarts run in me family and I’m smart as anythin’.” He’s grinning and winks at her slyly. “Now lotsa people say they’re smart, but I really am! I gotta brother who’s a big-time magistrate in Limsa, and another who’s some hotshot alchemist in Ul’dah. Me sister, Jemma, married this Gridanian fella who’s kinda like a farmer, but he owns stuff everywhere. They got one of the biggest places ‘round here” He pauses thoughtfully. “Oh! I didn’t tell ya yet. I’m a thief, and me name is Jaret. I’d tell ya I’m at yer service, like the fancy folk does, but truly, I’m only ever at me own service.”

Kitt tilts her head, taking in his family history, which she did not ask for and considers the wiry Miqo’te man, not much taller than she is. A slick, fast talking thief.

“I was telling ya I coulda been anythin’, and I coulda but thievin’ is tailor made for someone like me. I’m not a big fella, as ye can see, and I’m not too strong. But then, I don’t haf to be. Me fingers are nimble and quicker than a virgin in a whorehouse.” He’s grinning again and it’s a little disconcerting.

He hooks his fingers into his belt, rocking back on his heels. “You might be thinkin’ I’m a flashy fella, what with me silk blouse, scarves and these trousers. Flamboyant. Jemma says I’m flamboyant. Only she says it kinda like a cuss word and she screws up her face when she says it.” He takes a quick breath and continues. “I dunno but that she never got over I stole her weddin’ ring and sold it. Sheesh, accidents happen, ya know? These silk scarves I acquired from a spice trader down way from Amh Araeng. His caravan was full up with salt peter and dimythrite, but what do I need that fer? Preferred the scarves. I like to dress like this but when I need to, I can vanish in a crowd so’s even me own mum couldn’t find me.”

Kitt interjected, “You were saying you require a healer?” He keeps right on talking.

“Speakin’ of mums, I must say for all some people would have ya believe thieves are without conscience, it’s me that supports me mum. Both me brothers, and sister too, got lotsa gil, but they rarely part with any of it. Me mum woulda been a beggar if not fer me. As is, she’s got a nice little cottage in the Lavender Beds and even a cow of her own. She’s happier than a pig in a puddle, and the only one in me family that lets me visit. That’s where I was when Reggie the Lunatic’s men found me.” He stops to inhale deeply.

“Are we getting to the healer part now, Master Jax?” Kitt’s voice drips with sarcasm, which is completely wasted on the man.

“Miss Kaleen, believe me when I say me mum is the worst cook in Eorzea, no contest. Me Fa ustta say if he’d married her fer her cookin’ he’d been mighty disappointed indeed. But he married her ‘cause she is the sweetest woman ya can imagine. She loves everyone and everyone loves her.” He’s beaming as he speaks. Kitt finds it exceedingly difficult to disregard any man who loves and respects his mother, so she listens. “This day, I’m telling ya about, I was over at her cottage. I was sittin’ at this little wooden table she has under the window. The shutters were open and I was watching her cow, name of Daisy, eatin’ the buttercups outta the window box, listenin’ to me mum sing. Suddenly these fellas come strollin’ up the walk, casual like, I recognized Maddog Wharton, and quick as that, I was looking fer the back door. I bolted past me mum, whose eyes were like saucers, but then the back door opened, and two other fellas were there. I was caught like a rabbit in a snare trap. This fella asks if I’m Jaret Jax and me Mum says to them, yes I is, at the same time I’m sayin’ no I ain’t. I felt the noose tighten around me throat sure. The bigger fella says Reggie is givin’ me a invitation like, to go with these fellas and visit him at the Reaper.”

Somehow she’s still tracking this story, so she asks, “The Reaper?” “Yeah Miss Kaleen, little underground pub out Thanalan way,  but anyway, like I says to you earlier, I’m a smart fella, and I added two and three together and made six, quick as could be, knowing that invitation was not a good thing at all.” He’s shaking his head and she snorts softly.   “I says, “no thank ye” – and they just grab me by me arms, and me mum was worried as ever. I didn’t like they was takin’ me out like a prisoner, but I liked it less they was givin’ me mum a fright. She was sayin’ t’ let me go and they didn’t pay her no heed at all! I was feelin’ pretty sad fer me mum on account that when you are a thief sometimes these things just happen. But hey, I’m like a cat, 29 lives and always landin’ on me feet, ya see? I says to me Mum not to fret, that I’m curious and gotta go and see Reggie. I says it like I mean it, and as I’m bein’ bullied down the path, I see she’s more relaxed, but frowning.

So off we go to Thanalan. The Reaper’s is not inside the town. You gotta ride fer a ways to get there and lemme tell you, it was a quiet ride. I was attemptin’ to make some nice social conversin’ and these fellas were shut up as tight as a princess’ chastity belt. Not a word the whole way. When we rode into the yard I was impressed. Now I been a lot of nice pubs on account me trade allows me to move in some elegant circles. Still I was dazzled when we got to the door and it was gold. The door was made of gold! I admit I was thinkin’ on how to thief that door, not to sell or nothin’, cause you never could sell something like that easy. Just to keep it and look on it cause it were so pretty. That’s what I was thinkin’ when I walked into the bar.

Strangest pub I ever saw. A long bar with a few stools and that were it.  On the other side o’ the room a fancy chair was sat upon a dais, I knew from experience it weren’t fer me to sit in. The fellas left the room and I was standin’ there. Some time goes by and I was gettin’ fidgety. I don’t like standin’ around. It makes me nervous. I was wanderin’ around lookin’ to see what I could thief to make up fer the inconvenience of waitin’ and all. But there weren’t nothin’ in that room that I cared anything fer. Then a door banged open and the hugest man I ever saw comes in bellowing Reggie’s name, as if I didn’t know who I was supposed to see. Still I wasn’t sayin’ nothin’ cause all that fella woulda haf t’ do is sit on me and that’d be it, life over! So I looked on polite like as Reggie came into the room.” Jaret shakes his head, whistling through his teeth. She rolls her eyes.

Reggie is old. Older than me Mum even. He had all these fancy clothes on and his pants were terrible tight, big belly showed that he’s real well fed. When he sat on that chair I was waitin’ to hear those pants split. But they didn't. He was wearing more jewelry than a magistrate’s wife, and I know cause me brother’s a magistrate, he has a wife and I had a chance a coupl’a times to look in her jewelry box. Anyway, he had this one ruby ring t'was near big as his head and it was damn tough fer me to pay attention since I was lookin’ so hard at the gem.”

Kitt sighs. “Can we please get to the point?”

Jaret looks at her with a wounded expression. “Course Miss Kaleen. Reggie said, “Get over here!” So I did. I walked up to the chair and stood by him, quiet and waitin’. When he started talkin’, he had my attention like right sharp! So I can tell ya about it accurate like here.” “He says to me he hears I’m a thief. Well likes I been tellin’ you, I’m a smart fella so I says I certainly ain’t a thief. Then he waves his hand all angry like and tells me to shut up. So I did. He says I got a reputation as a thief of extraordinary talents. Well, I thought that was a right nice compliment, so I relaxed a little. Then he says he has a employment opportunity for me on account I’m so good at what I do. Well sure I was all ears then, what would Reggie the Lunatic want with me?”

Kitt’s tail is twitching, back and forth, back and forth, sharp little movements, manicured fingernails lightly drumming against the table top. “Okay okay, I’m gettin’ to it now, Miss Kaleen. Reggie tells me he wants a wife, and it can’t be just anyone. So I’m thinkin’ what’s the problem and what does he want with a thief? He says the lady he wants is rich as a princess and lives in Kholusia. Her name is Leylah and she’s engaged, apparently even likes the fella she’s s’posed to marry. Reggie says he wants me go there and steal him a heart. A heart I says? He nods ever slow like and says, yes, I am to go and steal this Leylah lady’s heart and bring it to him.”

So I’m scratchin’ at me head wonderin’ a little about all this. I asks him, “you want me to steal the girl fer you?” He says no, that’s not what he wants. He doesn’t only just want the girl; he wants the girl’s heart. Like he wants the girl to love him.” Kitt scowls. I’m with you Miss Kaleen. Dirty dealings. I’m thinkin’ about all these implications, and Reggie is tellin’ me if I can do it, he’s gonna make me a very wealthy man and I’ll never have t’ steal nothin’ again. He doesn’t understand I’m a thief because It’s me passion not ‘cause I’m poor. Sheesh. He’s tellin’ me I’m goin’ t’ have the best equipment and all to help me, and can even hire a healer t’ protect me.” She sighs with relief, surely this is the end point. But no. “Well like I been tellin’ you, I’m a smart fella.  So I says I think he’s got his-self the wrong man. What he’s askin’ fer is a serious warrior fer the kidnapping and a mage type for a love spell or somethin’. I says this ‘cause I am considerin’ the whole thing. A woman already in love isn’t gonna wanna marry some old ugly fart, even if he is a rich crime boss. Her husband t’ be ain’t gonna just let me take her away without some interference. So that’s a bit of trouble I wouldn’t want t’ be borrowing neither. Stealing a heart ain’t somethin’ I ever did fer hire. I had me share of the ladies; they love me fer some reason. I love ‘em too. I dunno but I think ladies’ hearts should just be left alone. So I tell Reggie, Eorzea’s a big sea with a lotta eager fishes, and he hollers at me to shut up. I’m a smart fella. So I did.” “For the love of the almighty Twelve”, Kitt’s patience finally snaps. “You have 20 seconds to wrap this story up and get to the point.”

He gestures for her to calm down, shaking his head. “Yer a lil impatient for a healer, aint’cha?” Kitt growls, low and quiet in the back of her throat.  “Okay okay, I’m near done. See Reggie’s face was getting damn red and seeing him mad didn’t make him any better lookin’. I almost felt sorry fer him. He’s like me nephew, Willy, who is the worst spoilt kid I ever met. He wants somethin’ and there ain’t no sayin’ no to the brat. It ain’t even worth tryin’ to reason with him. I could see Reggie is a lot just that way. So I was thinkin’ what I was goin’ t’ do when Reggie snarls at me sayin’ it ain’t really a choice. I HAVE t’ do it else he’s gonna remove me head from me shoulders. So that was that. I had a new job. None too happy about it either. But then I’m a smart fella so I smiled and nodded.” Kitt is not smiling and not nodding. “Let me see if I have followed you. You are being coerced to steal a woman and her heart, under the threat of death and you think I’m going to join you in this deranged adventure?”

Jaret blinks, “Deranged adventure? Weren’t ya listening? I’m a smart man and an excellent thief. If ya stick with me it’ll be the heist of the century!”

[pinktatertots99]

whats poppin tates c: ?

oh yknow, same shit as usual, the inability to write fics but feelin like i need to but having no ideas and fearing asking for requests cause alot would be ones i dont wanna do immediately cause brain doesnt want it but does wanna write its just “wanna write! no other request ideas! wanna write!” meme so i’m in a crisis circle rn.

....otherwise doin good, might have to try to applying more jobs cause as a failure of life its almost obvious gettin my first job is gonna suck to try finding as a ripe 21 yr old who was shit at tryin to find a way to find one and get one as a socially awkward younger adult and the fear of me not bein able to progress in life like a normal human being.

...oh yeah and just yknow, listenin to music, chattin with buds, all dat jazz, something something hyperfix related.