#not exactly a hiatus but...more or less a hiatus i guess lol

[kowaindar0u]

//

this is probably not news but I guess just in case new/returning folks find me lol

the depression/adhd/etc? demons have been Really rearing their ugly heads lately, probably due to the season, probably also due to Life Factors, so i have like... no brainpower to focus on writing 💀

hopefully as both weather and some life things (fingers crossed) change i'll get back to writing !! i have this and another blog i owe on, and the urge to rp is never truly sated so...i Will be back it just might be a hot minute 😔

if you would like to follow my personal blog that's @nightxaviation , i also am on twitter , and discord!!

[stormblessed95]

Hello,

I hope you have recovered fully or are recovering well.

I only wanted to say this because I am an over thinker and someone needs to tell me to shut up. I don't have any Jikook fans in real life so these are the places I vent.

I think I am either the majority or.the minority depending on which space we are in that thinks and feels that Jikook are distant and have been for a while. I don't think like only because of the car scene. Even when they are taking photos, they aren't doing it like they used to do before. Before if one of them was taking a photo of the two, generally they would be attached at the hips and in each other's face. I didnt notice them doing that in the first two episodes but I also just saw a small clip from Sapporo and they are also taking a pic but they are but distant from each other. I know it might be some miniscule to you but these are few of the instances where I felt that their relationship was beyond friendship.

I know I am over thinking it but I don't know, I don't feel as good about it I suppose. What happened to the Jikook that would literally smooshed their faces together for a photo? What happened to Jikook that were always seen hanging out prior to the hiatus. I heard about them hanging out all the time.

Yes they were busy and I get that. Jimin specially seems to have been super duper busy but he seems to have built a deeper relationship with the Hyung like but kep.a distance from the Maknae line so I am a bit confused I suppose. Out of all the BTS members, I always assumed Jikook were it and nothing would come in between so I am surprised to see work coming in between them?

I still feel like shiiitttt lol but I had to start work today anyway. Thanks for checking in though 💜

Listen, I'm not here to tell you what to think or tell you what your opinion should be. Think whatever you want. I'm sorry to say, but I'm not ever going to be the one to talk you into shipping Jikook. You think they aren't together, that's totally good by me! I hope you still love and support them as BTS, and I hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy any part of the fandom you continue to participate in, including mine if you stick around anyway on my blog.

I'm just here to present facts and let you draw your own conclusions based off that. And sometimes share my opinions about them, but only with the caveat that no one steals MY opinion and must create their own 😉

So for the facts, babygirl (I use as a gender neutral terms), for as many selcas as Jikook took like this:

They took JUST as many like this, which are (edging into opinion territory just a bit here) just the same as the glimpses we've gotten of selcas taken from AYS

Close together for the selfie, but not smushed as close as they could possibly get without just going ahead and crawling inside each other. Just a normal cutesy photo

More facts! As for hanging out prior to the hiatus (where I guess now it's assumed they never saw each other not even once, which is opinion and assumption, not fact), I have a post already done about all the times Jikook were spotted hanging out outside of work (because BTS time is work).

Hint: it's less often than you think

Double hint: they were still glued at the hip, we just know they were because they say and act like they were, not because we got to see or hear about it

Triple hint: it's probably exactly the same now except we know that currently, at this moment, they choose to continue to be glued at the hip for the next 18 months at minimum

I have other posts about their dates too, but this is the one that covers the topic I mentioned above best I think

Work came between them? Is that what they said or is that what you took their words to mean based on your biases and previous assumptions?

Anywho! Thanks again for checking in on me love.

Just a bit of unsolicited advice that you are free to disregard. I think whatever you decide about how you feel about Jikook, you should consider taking an emotional step back from them, just a smidge. Nothing that is only supposed to bring you joy, BTS or any other hobby, should get you feeling so far in your head feeling so conflicted. Good luck, sending you purple hearts! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[umepnnn]

3DOLC x ROE — results.

challenge created by @starliet and @cleostoohot 🖤

sorry (and not sorry) for the long hiatus cuz i'm enjoying life :)

so a few days ago i came across several posts about their challenge and i decided to try it out ! i didn't plan to post or anything so there wasn't a "what i'll be manifesting" post, but the results were so insane i had too make one.

ଓ affirmations i used:

regardless of everything...

nothing can ruin my manifestations

i always manifest within 3 days or less

i have everything i desire

ଓ what i manifested:

always confident and friendly, good at socializing

that's exactly what i did. i feel like a social butterfly at school and it's easier for me to join in convos now. making friends and having small talk just became easier for me. and i don't overthink so much anymore

being more included in my friend groups

i have a group i hang out with at uni for like 4-5 months now but i wasn't rlly active until this challenge LMAO now i'm like so comfortable with everyone and felt more like a part of the group. it also went like this with my other friend groups that i just started hanging out since this year. i actually speak to people individually now woah :)

getting closer with an SP

idk i thought this guy was cute so i just included this and at first the situation was: he's close with my friends but he's not in any of my friend groups so we don't hang much at all. but then after 2-3 days since this challenge, our mutual friend suddenly ADDED HIM into the group out of the blue and we all started going out and he is SUCH A GENTLEMAN to me + he added my socials as well hehe

school is fun, assignments are easy & no stress

literally came to school to chit chat and i'm not stressed at all. i get my work done on time and everything goes so smooth fr. and the best part is my classmates are the sweetest ugh SCHOOL IS FUN (they are the uni friend group i just mentioned up there) and they'd always gather around my seat lol and we'd chat the whole class.

bright smooth clear skin

same skin care routine – skin clearer than ever. no longer uneven dark spots or small little bumps <3 smooth like a baby's bottom :) my mom actually thought i was wearing makeup when i literally just washed my face n removed all the makeup !!

no dark circles

i slept like usual but my dark circles rlly went away since this challenge i'm actually surprised (even tho it should go away cuz it's the law lmao) and usually they'd still show when i have my makeup on but now it's wayyy less noticeable

friends from other countries coming to mine so we could hang out

just went out with one the other day lmao so check ✔️ i guess

everyone cares about me and is very nice to me

yoo my friends were so patient and attentive to me and even the taxi drivers are nice, they'd start convos and not in a creepy way. everyone is so nice for real <333

ଓ what i did:

i just read the list and affirm whenever i can, mostly focused on the 4D and know it's inevitable that they'd manifest <3 cuz it's already mine the moment i think i have it. and honestly the "nothing can ruin my manifestations" line helped me a lot.

other than that i did nothing in the 3D. i never initiated anything. they all just came to me just ✨ like ✨ that ✨

i got most of my desires within 3 days but i still continued affirming after 3 days cuz like why not? it's like i'm doing the challenge again or sum but yes i still get desired results after that.

btw i also listened to quite a few subliminals alongside doing this challenge just because i can xD even for the same desires and like they both manifested but anyways i'll make a separate post on my subliminal results.

© umepnnn 2021 – all rights reserved.

[note from a later date //29 jan 2024]

i have been on a hiatus since then until now, because i was busy with a lot of stuff i didn't have much time to learn and post astrology stuff here ~

i am still busy as ever and i don't plan on coming back here anytime soon (mayyyybee idk) but i still come on tumblr quite often cuz i loveee our astrology & manifesting content

and somehow today i checked my draft and saw this whole post here from three years ago i'm like wuhhh totally forgot.

BUT! everything i said is true fr like the "friends from other countries coming to mine so we could hang out" last year literally TEN of my friends came to my place (they're from 4 different countries) and I even went on trips with some of them — mind u i havnt seen most of them in like 2 years at the time

trust me manifesting is sooo easy just think u have it and u have it

thanks for reading and stay healthy stay safe everyone <3 cya

[theskee]

hi! i dont know if you answer asks or anything, but i just wanted to write in and say i love your works so much. i’m not sure if you’re on hiatus, if you have writer’s block or if you’re simply just busy — but ever since i’ve read your works my standards for fanfics have been raised to a point where it seems like nothing even compares.

i think you’ve moved on from writing them but i really miss your jotajosu fics, i was ADDICTEDDD and i might even go back and reread a few but im at a point in my life where i associate nothing but happy times with your fanfics because that’s how much joy they brought me when i read them. i downloaded bluesky just for you when you moved, but i barely use it, and i even check your ao3 periodically and i get a little sad when there arent uploads. but i hope you’re putting yourself first and doing well.

if your comms are open i would love to commission you for a jotajosu fic, i miss my boys so much and the fandom is dying. :(

WITH MUCH MUCH LOVE AND THE HIGHEST REGARDS!! ♡

I do answer asks! I always try to answer any asks or comments or messages I get. I'm just slow sometimes as life is very busy lol. I do not have the free time I used to. First of all, I'm very grateful you took the time to send such a kind message about my Jotajosu fics from a couple years ago. The time I spent working on them was something I really valued and treasured. I learned a lot in the like. Almost two years I spent working on fic after fic. There were like 50 of them and over a million words. And that's just the stuff that I wound up publishing lol. To know that it was enjoyed is nice, especially since positive feedback got really thin on the ground toward the end of my time with the pairing before I ultimately decided to leave that fan space. I have been less than active for a good chunk of the year as I was going through a lot in my personal life. I didn't exactly intend to go on hiatus but I guess it kind of is an unintentional one. I burned out hard after my time with Jotajosu and life has certainly done a good job of keeping that burnout rolling. I am trying to work on fic again, slowly but surely poking away and new stuff now that I've moved on completely from jotajosu. I am sorry to hear that my lack of activity is a bummer. Trust me, it bums me out, too. But fanwork is one of those things that I use to de-stress and it requires the right balance of inspiration, free time, and motivation, which has been hard to come by this past year. I'm very very tired lol. And yes, I have definitely been putting myself first. I have been writing fanfiction and original work since I was 12, so the better part of 21 years at this point. I live and breathe the creative craft, but I go through periods of rest that tend to be pretty long stretches at times. My AO3 upload history will speak to that lol. To know my work touched people, entertained, and provided a joy that brings back fond memories, is the highest compliment I could possibly receive. I hope to one day make original works and get published. That's the real dream, for sure. I no longer do any kind of commissions, I simply don't have the time. And I wouldn't be able to deliver the same kind of quality of writing if I made myself write in spite of this. I've got a lot of distance between myself and Jotajosu now, and the spark for that particular pairing has definitely died out. I don't even really discuss the pairing in private with friends anymore. There's a lot of love there for the time I shared and the people I met. The friends I made. But the pairing itself is one that definitely has passed me by. I'm more focused on other things now, and most of them are writing projects I'm doing in private with a good friend for the sake of just, writing without limitations or boundaries or concerns for an audience. It's been really healing. But I do hope to get back into publishing fanfiction again soon. Thank you again, for your kindness. It means a lot to me. I hope you take care, anon. x Skee

[cosmokyrin]

Hi there! Hope you're doing awesome! Quick question,I know we're only 2 episodes into Volume 9,but what's your take on the whole Penny situation? I was crushed when she first died in Volume 3,then excited to see her again in 7,then crushed again to see her die just 1 volume later,as I'm sure everyone was. I'm hopeful about 9 though,it's looking good,but one of my friends has been turned off by all the gut punches with Penny & everything else,& I'm watching the series through with another friend & I don't want them to get turned off the same way. I'm hoping for something but not sure what at this point.

ayoooo i just remembered this ask now that i have some time kjdflsd kek

Anyway regarding Penny!! The best girl ever /lh

I totally understand if one of your friends got turned off with what had happened to her character so far--- because two years ago I was in the exact same position lol. In fact I came to watch the first ep of V9 without any expectations nor as much interest as I did with V8. I was mostly curious as to what direction they'd be pushing the story into.

And hooo boy was I surprised! And I mean, the kind of "Oh shit I'm caught off-guard by all that Nuts and Dolts moments because it's so in-the-face what thE HELL". Exactly like V8 lmao. I know I'm now speaking about the ship but jfdfdskfj I also do mean Penny content. I caught up with RWBY V6 and V7 during the 2020 / V7 hiatus, and when the Penny content was suddenly given the spotlight, that gut-punched me too.

And yeah that's exactly what I'm seeing with V9. Two years of grieving not really having much canon material to speculate about Penny's direction as a character and the premiere of V9 gave me new hopes actually! From a better perspective, I'm a little more positive that the theories / suspicions that had been floating around the Nuts and Dolts / Penny fandom (since V8) are in the right direction. I'll be bold now when I say it, now that I have moved past the pains of V8 lol: Nuts and Dolts is a living ship, and I have 95% confidence when I say it's actually a canon pair now. The first two episodes especially emphasized this, and I trust CRWBY knows what they're doing with the implications of it. And because they're less likely to bury gays, aside from an entire thesis (no kidding lol) from the Nuts and Dolts nation on why Penny would come back, looking at what the show might be bringing (hopepunk, wlw, LGBTQIA+ reps) gives me a positive view of Penny's general direction as a character.

One of my friends / mutuals said it aptly when they mentioned that RWBY doesn't benefit much from being watched while airing, because as a fan of the show who painstakingly waits between hiatuses it might sometimes feel underwhelming when you've been expecting something big for so long. I've been here since 2013, but it gets better when you rewatch volumes at once especially before a new season premiere! If one gets the hints given by CRWBY right, there is a pay-off there (I had my moment here with Pietro in V8). So I guess technically that means it's better off changing one's mindset that whatever they do with characters / the story usually has a reason forward, but then it would take a while to really get there.

[maythray]

looking at u with my big sad eyes u never got back to talking abt your favoruite favoruite favourite hfjone fics............,

I DONT REMEMBER BEING ASKED HONESTLY BUT YEAH I CAN PUT A FEW HERE RN

im truthfully very picky with fanfic and so apologies that a lot of these are liam and bryce focused! i just prefer my interpretations of other characters a bit too much :"(

Absolute most favoritest ever

Just One More Day - marlkarx1

the fic im talking about currently! humanized take on liam trying to get everyone back home after the events of ep18. puts focus on liams mental state regarding airys world and the loss of airy himself! [btw really reccomend heeding the warnings on this one!! it gets very gory at times and has some more severe depictions of mental issues than usual in fanfic]

Other

Atom Attempts Shoplifting - Anonymous

exactly what it says on the tin. the concept for this one is delightful to me and i often find myself coming back to read this one to cheer me up :)

ONE, TWO, THREE - pieneboowrites

longer fic about the process of fixing things post-ONE. i really love this one for its depictions of getting liam specifically back home, as well as the way it handles julien and his side of that issue!

Oatmeal - EnchantedSundial

sweet little sodapack oneshot! hits that box for the cooking as a love language thing i have!! its a fun take on liams realization of feelings (and sexuality too i guess) for bryce!! [also i have to include this one just because of how much its stuck in my mind and has altered my eating patterns lol]

Just Like You! - the worst of them

transfem bryce and nonbinary liam fic!! i really adore this one and the way it depicts the relationship to gender both of them have! also hooray for characters i love being able to enjoy makeup in a way i never could!!

Stay There, Don't Let Me Go - Flightless_Hara, Peribound

[currently being rewritten/on hiatus!!] bryce comes to visit liam in SF and ends tangled up in meeting liam's old friends and his own growing affections for liam! i really enjoyed the original version of this fic and would really reccomend keeping an eye on this one if you enjoy the first 3 chapters!

Somethings New With Charlotte - Peribound

less traditionally structured fic, but still one i enjoy regardless. centers on a plot of circle suddenly appeaing in charlottes home with the help of the radio! has a fun integration of the narrator being an actual character that i find really charming.

[official-raihan]

(These are ooc questions, so feel free not to answer, but how do you go about starting one of these blogs? How do you think of posts besides answering asks? And since you're playing a canon character, do you ever worry about being too out of character? I wanna start one of these blogs, but it is a little bit intimidating, haha)

Hi! I'm glad I'm seen as something of a good info source on this type of thing, haha!

This is a bit of a doozy, so I'm putting it under a read more.

To begin, starting one of these blogs is something that, at least for me, feels pretty stop and go. The trick is being persistent. You may not get a lot of interaction from other people in the beginning, but if you go out of your way to interact with other people's blogs, then that exposes you to more people, and more interaction, until eventually it's more of a two-way deal than just you seeking interaction.

This blog was pretty small for a while until I managed to luck out and a "For lols" type post blew up enough that I was getting semi-regular interaction. I was enthusiastic on my end with my responses, and people reciprocated that. If you're getting asks and people see that you're answering them, it'll be more likely that you'll get more asks. Though it may feel a bit narcissistic, don't be afraid to send yourself an ask or two! Especially if you have something specific you want to happen, it can be handy.

For posts beside answering asks, I think they're fun! Although I don't do it as much now, since I get enough regular asks that I can subsist off of those, I think it's fun to sprinkle in little bits or worldbuilding or character development. Hell, a few(?) months ago I mentioned a random little thing as a sort of throw-away "It would be funny to send Raihan to Unova" and people piled on! The annual Dragon Convention wasn't something I had planned at ALL, but people enjoyed the idea, so we bounced off of that.

Although, that honestly depends on how you're trying to frame the blog. If it's meant to be more like an askblog, then in-character posts will probably be fewer, but if it's meant to be like a personal blog for the character, then go for it!! That's half the reason I occasionally reblog art on here, is I think it's the type of thing Raihan would reblog.

As for worrying about being out of character, yes and no. Personally I like to think I'm pretty good at copying speech patterns and mannerisms (Perks of autism? I guess??), so I worry a little less, but sometimes I do feel like I'm not being as accurate as I'd like to be. I went on a bit of a hiatus from Raihan for a while, and so I'm still trying to feel out the specifics of how I played him again.

Adding on to that, a lot of the canon characters in Pokemon, such as my boy here, won't have much to them in ways of backstory. Because of that, there's a bit of creative leeway with how exactly you play them. There's a lot of gray area that you can work in. In the swsh games, Raihan is the leader of the Hammerlocke gym, and has an unexplained connection to the Hammerlocke Vault. I've taken that and built it up into "Along with the position of Hammerlocke leader, he also inherited the role of vault-keeper, and is basically the security guard for the Hammerlocke castle."

It CAN seem intimidating, especially when you're first getting started and it feels like there's no interest for your blog. My biggest piece of advise is to keep at it.

[aquil-writes]

2022 Year in Review Tag

Thanks for the tag, @vsnotresponding! This one really got me to think (and to scheme for a better 2023!)

Total Number of Completed Works: Aha.... none

Total Number of WIPs Worked on This Year: 3 big ones, lots of small ones in between that I likely won't touch again (short story ideas my beloathed)

WIPs Neglected This Year: Every other (active) numbered project I have, pretty much. So... Projects 2, 9, and 7. Also 6 probably, since I put it on hiatus.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?: Wayyyy more. I wrote very little this year and then impulsively decided to do NaNo, which I won somehow after topping 12.5k as my previous best WC total in a month. I still have whiplash.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?: Putting pro. 6 on hiatus was a big one. I struggle with finishing projects so putting it on hiatus was a big risk, but I want to finish it so badly I think it'll work out this time. Also NaNo.

Do You Have Any Writing Goals For The New Year?: I want to finish Project 3, at least this rough draft. It's not the story I want to write but I want to start finishing things even if they're not perfect. So I guess my goal is defeating my perfectionism

Biggest Disappointment: I'm exactly as far into Pro. 6 as I was last year, even further behind because I might have to start over. That hurts a bit but I have more worldbuilding and direction now at least.

Biggest Surprise: Working on Pro. 3 again. I just assumed that one would stay in my WIP graveyard lol.

Most Popular Story Of The Year: I barely post my own work, but I think I've gotten the most traction out of Pro. 3, probably because that's what I post the most

What’s Your Own Favourite Story Of The Year?: By default, Pro. 6. I'm pouring my heart and soul into that one

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: None yet, I really need to post more

Most Fun Story To Write: Project 3. It's so campy it's perfect

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Project 3 again. The direction it went in surprised me a lot. There was no reason for me to make it so dark and I don't even like dystopian fiction but that's how it went. It's not what I meant to do but it's still interesting at least?

Open tag for backlog reasons!

[drippingmoon]

A Year of Writing -- 2022

Welcome, welcome.

We’ve gone through another year now.

And I intend on tracing back my steps month by month. Feel free to tag along! Take a seat. Take a sip. Take a cat. And let’s cherish the entirety of 2022 together while it’s still here. And I do hope the good outweighs the bad for us all.

This is a feel-good, be-proud fiesta, so if you wanna hear a fellow writer cherishing their discoveries and writing journey, buckle up and I hope some  — if not all  — of these feelings pass on to you as well<3

First off, a million thanks to maguayans​ for hosting the event again!<3 She had a gorgeous idea for this year’s theme too, though I couldn’t make the most out of it personally. So in the first part we’ll tackle two of her proposed themes  — then I’ll be talking about my two highlights for the year.

Word Count

Aquiver, Aglow  — 217k

Aberration of Sunlight — 140k

I think I’ve learnt an important lesson this year, guys. Word count used to stress me out so much, I had to deactivate it. But even then, when I crossed that 10k mark, and no matter how justified it was... I made me depressed. Then I started working on Aberration. I said, well, this time I’ll take it easy, it really won’t matter how long it is. It’s not that I’d work less on it, or that it was less important to me than ‘quiv. But I just wanted to feel good, you know? To actually just enjoy it, instead of feeling guilty all the time. After that... I just gave up on my publishing expectations. Oh, I’ll edit both WIPs to the best of my ability, over and over again as always, but... if they stand proudest at 150k, I won’t force it further. Even if it means I won’t publish them because that won’t be good enough, yeah?

I’m not pretending they will be flawless, or that every salvaged scene will seem worth it at first glance. But it will be all I want to tell. Better than any thoughts of getting published... I’d rather just work on the two things I love best, in the only way I know.

YouTube Wrapped

Total: 13k minutes

Top artists: Borislav Slavov, HAEVN, BrunuhVille, Tom Odell, Aviators

Top song: Another Love by Tom Odell

Top tracks: Minefields by Faouzia and John Legends, Baldur’s Gate 3 OSTS: Down by the River, The Power and Wash My Pain Away by Borislav Slavov

My music personality: The Vibe Diver (you lead the charge in finding unexpected faves and stay loyal to what you love; Deep Cuts, Loyal, Chill)

And that was it for the first part! My top genres aren’t anything but Fantasy (and lately Sci-fi!) so I skipped those. Now on to the year, and how exactly it’s looked like:

January - June

Oh, these were hell lol. To say that uni as a whole — and especially the last semester — was absolute hell for me, is more than a bit of an understatement. But whatever, it’s done and over with, and I’m never returning to those days, HOO-RAY. But... this also fell in line with my going on a hiatus. I was mentally in a very bad headspace, and it just so aligned that for the first time in my life tumblr silence really got to me... and it wasn’t pretty. So I left. At one point, I guess... I didn’t feel so welcome on writeblr anymore. Not as a writer, at least. I still don’t think I’ve fully come back from that hiatus, and maybe never will. I'm basically still here for my friends, who deserve better.

No writing here; except for a notes draft I began during my two breaks. They dealt with Mezusa and Yles mainly (more about it in the ‘quiv section), and honestly? I needed them really back bad then, I’m not exactly surprised that even now, months later, my head is all full of “Catch me in your inwings?”

July

Ah. Ah. This is where the real fun begins. This is where I started taking back control of my life, and it was glorious. I began draft 4 at the very end of July, a few days after my bday, and ah.

This was when, very slowly, I started realizing I could possibly keep writing and rewriting ‘quiv all my life, and still fall in love with it every time, again. Over and over and over. Which is a pretty dangerous thought considering I do want it a completed story one day, but until then, the freedom. I have no words for how much this story means to me. But this year in particular, it’s reminded me that I am a writer. From the bottom of my heart, I do love writing, and it makes me happy.

Basically, starting from July, the remaining months turned 2022 into my very best writing year.

Draft 4 ran from August till September. There were a lot of little changes and whatnot, but I want to particularly talk about the biggest two, and my plans for the future. (which is looking particularly bright!!)

A little bit about my drafting process first. I’m a pantser through and through — I see an outline? No, I don’t, otherwise it gets my panties in a twist, I go mad, the writing goes stale, and everything gets driven straight into a tree. So I don’t do outlines, ever. So when I say I write a new draft, I rewrite the entire thing from finish to end, no skipping, no leaving anything for later, we’re doing it like we have to defend our thesis and we’ve forgotten all our notes. Very few, if any, scenes will repeat, unless they’re central events. Basically retellings of the same story lol. What’s this madness for, you ask? At the end of the drafting process (aka the mass rewrites until the plot feels natural and tight under my fingers and my characters guide me seamlessly because I’ve got them right, so not having an outline is vital because they do everything), all those drafts will come and fight in a giant reading session arena where I pick which draft did what best, and edit from there. 

This is where ‘quiv is now. 

Yles and Mezusa. Yles is far from being new, but I did her best and I did her justice here. That’s thanks to one character with an amusing evolution throughout all drafts: Mezusa. She started as a nameless blob of an angel character mentioned only once in draft 1 — as the tuba angel who got kicked off the choir (skylarks had made nests in her tuba). All good and fine. Then, at some point between drafts — without my knowing — she met up with Yles, and planned the biggest plot hijack I’ve ever experienced. And gave herself a name. And a plot. And a conclusion. I’m still mad about that (and incredibly proud shh).

So, who’s Mezusa now? An angel living in solitude in a cloud forest full of skylarks, who sings a song to Anne one night and asks her to come take her light. She’s a runaway from Heaven, and most angels know that she went mad, and that’s why she fled. She’s also got talons on her fingers (she couldn’t decide if birds got talons on their hands or feet and nobody provided a satisfactory answer), and a thickly smoky voice that, coupled with her word choice, sends a shiver down everyone’s spine. She’s also dying, and is very well aware of it. There’s corruption visible on her flesh, decaying her body by the day.

But this is not her story. She plays pied piper to Yles’s.

Yles’s chapter goes like this: she was blinded, thousands of years ago, during one of her visitations. Now she wishes to weave herself a new pair of eyes from the souls of their descendants, in a city that towers like a ghost over her life. It basically starts with Yles crashing through the gates all but wreathed in flames. But the thing is... she’s kept postponing the day of vengeance. Up until Anne tosses the shard of light Yles’s way, who can’t get into the starfields (angels haven’t been able to find their way there, since the Turning), so she can’t anchor Mezusa there (though she doesn’t know whose shard it is). And that’s when Yles begins to change. That’s also where Mezusa comes in. She’s forced to see why she’s hesitated so much, all while walking down the old roads her feet still know in that city made of metal, to the Citadel of Endurance.

They meet... and things change. Not that fast; Mezusa’s pretty mad at first because her shard told her Yles was about to die, cue her entrance. They fight a lot. Yles gets hurt a lot. And Mezusa... Mezusa offers her her taloned hand and gets her through the city, the memories, the pain. And she tries to teach her a lesson, because lessons are all she has to give now that she’s dying: when they’re not happy, when they’ve strayed from what they wished for desperately, their bodies listen to them. And they slowly start breaking down. Because nobody wants to suffer, and not eternally. And the body listens much more closely than they realize. So what does Yles actually seek in the Citadel?

(Yeah, that spoilers lmaooo)

In short, Mezusa starts to mean a lot to Yles. She begs her to return to Heaven, and they’ll try, together, to enter the starfields if Anne has abandoned them. She falls in love with Mezusa over the course of the chapters...

And Mezusa is dying. Now it’s starting to bother her a little. She isn’t hidden under the flocks of her skylarks, where it’s all warmth. She stays with Yles, who locks eyes with her, and tells her her dream as an angel has always been the same as Mezusa’s. And that she’s deeply thankful.

(she also refuses to let Mezusa give in to her death)

So what does Mezusa do? She gives a weak smile, says cheekily — but there’s fear in her eyes: “Catch me in your inwings?”

Aka: I think now I can find my way into the starfields if I have you. I don't want to leave you alone

I am not okay.

(One of her eyes is a hive-eye she can’t see through, half of her face looks like rotted honeycombs. She gave her shard of light to Anne so she could find her way to the stars after she died. It’s angel belief that, if they die away from Heaven, they’ll grope eternally in solitude and darkness, and they most fear the loneliness. Afterlife for angels is blind. They’ve always known what afterlife looks for them. It’s beautiful, but also cold.)

In case you were wondering how bonkers I was over these two, they made me write 13k in a single friggin' day. But that's not even the impressive part. So I started that notes draft earlier in the year, yeah? Yeah. It mostly had a scene or two sketched out. At most. And they changed completely. Meaning, I wrote 13k of spontaneous plot with a clear beginning and end, and tbh it was one of the most coherent things I've ever written.

I was possessed y'all wtf

Anne and Tyrone. Yep, this was to be expected; I can’t go through a wrap-up without losing my head over these two. The reason why ‘quiv even exists. I can’t call them parent-child, or even friends, and definitely not lovers. Dunno, I just put all my love into them, and it’s a thing without name. And you know what’s my very favourite part about rewriting? Some things, like the final arc, won’t really change, even with my system. Those scenes can’t be any other. But they can be better, and I’m always extraordinarily tickled pink to see how the build-up leads to a world of other feels. And the build-up between the final arc and the pre-arc really did leave me in tears this year<3333

Anyway, this is a spoilers minefield, so I’ll just leave you with the mental image of: Anne pulling Tyrone on a bed of feathers of her wing wrapped under him. His head rests on her leg, and she holds a hand to his forehead, wishing him sweet dreams while she’s telling the events as they’d happened in Imera’s time, and that he shouldn’t take them to heart. Not him.

What’s to come? Basically the frankendraft, and slowly, very slowly, the very last of edits. I still need to rework the kinks in Imera’s and Malchior’s bits (and bear in mind that the Yles and Mezusa bits are technically a draft 1), but at least it’s just two things this time, oh gods. With Malchior I’m gonna try a riskier thing... as in, he won’t be old friends with Anne anymore. I hope the payoff will be worth it, but hey, I’ve got all my other drafts to rescue me^^

So slowly, veeeery slowly, ‘quiv is coming to an end. Idk how to feel about it right now, other than overwhelmed lmao;( I am not ready at all

9 p.m. sharp after getting home, the closed door, a mug of hot cocoa with whipped cream to the fairy lights on my tables, and tap-tap-tap till 11 or sometimes even 12. That's what my life looked like for two months, and I honest-to-god can’t wait to go back to that.

I’m extremely happy to introduce my newest darling, the pride and joy of this writing year of mine. I didn’t expect to love another WIP after ‘quiv, and certainly not so soon, but here we are, and this WIP means everything to me, the other side of the coin.<3

Huge cheers to all the Halo: CE, Halo 2, Halo 3, Halo 3: ODST OSTs and Grace by Lewis Capaldi for basically carrying me through them two months, and I highly recommend checking the OSTs if you’re craving great quality sci-fi songs and don’t know them; for those of you that do, you’re welcome for the nostalgia. Also huge shout-out to my nightfriend, for being the main catalyst why this year got turned topsy-turvy into the best<3 love you so much! I’m so happy to have had the chance to know you, both as a writer and a person. You’re incredible to me<3

What’s it about? (and forgive the blurb quality)

The universe has always been haunted by a story: a Beast of the Deep Night, a remnant of a black hole, the one being people can't steal from, as they say. It roams the Deep Night, and any astronaut who values their life knows to pay tribute in their heart, and to mind their actions. It's the Beast's realm. And they call the Beast the lambent guardian, taking back from humanity everything they take from the universe. 

A foolish man, A. Holloway, goes into rosy space in search of immortality. Between the Beast and the war, it doesn't seem likely that he'll find it. Soon a new recruit joins the ship, and things take a strange turn: she's an oddball, that one. Laughing, but distressed, the crew starts betting if she's the Beast in disguise, come aboard their ship for judgement. 

She smiles and never denies anything. 

But that universe doesn't look the same now. Hundreds, if not thousands of years after Holloway, the world is ending. The Beast is rampaging, ships sinking in the night, and now it turns a planet into fire and brimstone. Humanity's had to give up on its dream of freedom, and what remains are cities of rust. 

Those who have nothing to live for go between planets, to ferry supplies, while they still can. 

Police Superintendent Madigan sometimes receives distress calls. There's no sending any help, ever; Command says, a ship sighted by the Beast is a ship that is never returning home. 

Command is right. The world is dying, and they better not offer it more sacrifices. All those who go know the risk. All those who remain... better find a new meaning and hope they'll be left for last. One day, Madigan receives another distress call. He picks it up, without knowing that the boy on the other end didn't expect anyone to help. He merely wished to hear another human voice. But Madigan's fallen into a deep state of apathy. Cities rusted from within, sinking in flames. If it's ending, it doesn't matter what he does anymore. So Madigan steals a ship, and decides to give his one shot to humanity.

Soon, they'll be two back-to-back against the Beast, carrying all of hope on their shoulders. 

[You know what’s fun? I’m a very baby sci-fi fan. It’s been, what, six months since I’ve read two series I’ve really enjoyed, and that made me stop a little. Because it seemed so wrong. I adored to bits Aliens, Halo, Gears of War, but usually... it's not my genre, and I found pieces written so clinically, I just didn't have anything to connect to. And I was never big on robots; they seem to me to mirror the way people still regard animals, but with more prestige, because they’re humanoids, you see? So it’s just not my world. Or wasn’t. I did a little more digging and... I think it’s the space horror that’s shaped my earliest years of my life. I’m definitely one of those people who need the Very Dark to appreciate the light stuff truly, and Aberration helped me explore that in spades.

(And, yeah, I’m aware Halo isn’t exactly horror. But the drop-dead gorgeous atmosphere of ODST does the trick for me; that mixture of loneliness and uncertainty that make you feel so small in the universe, which I absolutely wanted to pay a tribute to. But that failed in like... chapter 1 lmao;) only the jazz is kept (and I’m gonna hang to it with my teeth!) but even that is warped into a glitched, disturbed thing that resembles the Beast more.)]

This was my NaNo project, y’all! Aberration won Nano on November 21 at 55k, and became a completed first draft... exactly one month later?? On December 21. Even when I came home tired to the bone, it was the thing I most looked forward to; I always sat down and at least did par, and you know? It always cheered me up. It was such a healthy experience, so much that, I didn’t skip on any single day on those two months.

Aberration itself became an idea at the beginning of 2021, when I was listening to an Ori OST remake, and my head went instantly, if space had any single sound, this would be it. The Beast came very soon after. 

Then it was my 1k story for my admission, and eventually it turned into the outline for the foolish man (Holloway’s) part of story. Everything in his parts was there, in that 1k original, and that’s when I knew I wanted it to be a book.

Meaning, the rest of it, the entirety of Madigan’s story which is the core of Aberration, came to me as some sort of mystical trance the very day before NaNo. Some details in Holloway’s too. I completely revamped the WIP, as, at that time, something felt missing, and finally it clicked for me. I wanted it to become something much darker, rich in a way like those three series felt to me, aaaand this also means that the light-hearted story about a Beast joining a ship and cherishing them got thrown out of the window lol:') 

Instead, we got my pride and joy:< and since it was the day before NaNo, my brain went, heyyyy, what if...?? And I went, heyyy to you too, if I manage to come up with an intro by tonight, then we’ll do it.

And the rest is history^^

Who's Madigan? He's the easiest boss to boss around, a pushover like a doormat's never been, and that's until he starts really caring about something. And if you look deeper, you'll see that's exactly how he wants others to perceive him. So they won't ever be afraid to approach him because of his status. At his core, Madigan loves people, and he loves them deeply. His job is his life’s calling. He feels the happiest when he’s protecting others. He sure as hell would mind losing his life... but rather than losing his loved ones, he'd rather risk his own. People are too precious to him. Even so, he's mostly alone. Oh, yes, people respect him and his close colleagues smile fondly his way, his mantle is his everything. But at the end of the day, there's nobody waiting for him. And what's even worse, he doesn't even realize this, not until very late. And when he does, he doesn't think it's right for him to be that close to someone. They have others in their life already, and he only complicates stuff.

Also!! The structure is way different from ‘quiv, and we’ve got titled chapters which I’m awfully proud of, so we’ll be going through them for the final leg of this journey<3 and, and! You know what’s the best part of it all? I know exactly what goes on in each of them, by heart. *flails hands* I love them so much!!

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass  — Act 1

Okay, this one is a huge mess, but I already know what I want it to become. And it did its job more than well launching me into the Aberration atmosphere, crisp with loneliness and desolation, and the main event of Madigan finding the broken helmet in a field of purple forget-me-nots, which makes him feel connected to humanity as a whole. It makes him decide to answer that distress call. He hears himself there.

Into the Blinking Red

This is where I got kicked out of my own story and plans again, and in the best way possible. Originally, Spica (or Hahn’s boy, until the 40k story marker lmao) was supposed to be just some mangled body Madigan finds on the ship at the end of that distress call, launching us straight into the horror.

Instead, he’s our one-armed best little soldier who... how do I even describe it? He refuses from the very beginning to ever leave Madigan behind, even with the Beast’s teeth snapping at their backs. Then they’re having each other’s back, bringing the other from the brink of death, worrying over their bed if they’re ever going to recover from their wounds. Then they’ve only got each other on a dark ship in cold, dead space, but they’re always trying to give the other hope, even if they don’t have it. Then they’re talking about space, humanity’s long dream of being free and instead caging itself away from the Beast and how much Spica’s mission means to them all, then little, very little by little... Spica recognizes Madigan as his hero, and Madigan realizes Spica’s become his loved one. And it’s too late to take it back, and the boy means everything to him 

Aberration of Light

Ah, yes. The Holloway chapters, which are the ones in italics. What went wrong, you ask? Well, what in the world, except that I had an outline, like an idiot, and no lesson learnt:') :') :') from the beginning this made me feel like I was slamming my head into a wall, and everything bad that I have to completely rewrite stems from the goddamn outline

(otherwise, fun Beast mythology oh yeahhhh)

Nightfall’s Reflection

Enter Lieutenant Hahn himself, the dad, who rides in furiously, and the first thing he does is to unhinge his jaw and gave rise to a howl from the depths of his angry little soul: to demote Madigan, specifically:') but it’s all good, he’s a good dad actually, just thinks his Superintendent is a wet little sock and loves screaming at him. He’s also so loyal to the man he’d die for him. He’s also not pleased that the Beast’s bitten off one of his son’s arms.

Who Lays These Tombs in Ice

Ah, yes. One of the two Luitgart chapters, the magnate of ice. A planet that’s had half of its sunlit face scarred by the Beast, and is in no hurry to forget this. This was also when I pulled an all-nighter because I got possessed, for the second time this year it seems, by the new plot ideas I spontaneously got for the Luitgart arc. And boy. Boy. I’ve got to tell you. This is where the story takes a very dark turn into true horror that also extends a bit beyond the Beast itself and it gets to the point of no return, because, soon, our crew will be stranded on an icy planet around which the Beast’s looped itself:')

(In short, this is, perhaps, the most punchy arc in perhaps the entire book, because you do not expect it)

As for Luitgart... it deserves a little love. As does Hahn, who’ll be my new objective come next draft. Now, Luitgart. It doesn’t spin on its axis. Meaning, one face is always sunlit, and that’s where humans lived before the Beast struck. Its dark half is full of unforgiving ice. But the ruined landscape also has a big impact on its gravity, and that’s where things get a lot of fun, and with horizontal ice rain:<

We also get Madigan digging graves in the ice for frozen corpses, in spite of his broken ribs, because he can’t stop, not now, and do I love that man<3

Lemon-Dotted Dice — Act 2

So yeah, Acts 1 and 2 for Holloway are going to be rewritten completely, with the outline (thank god) thrown out of the window. Great news is, their Act 3 slammed me in the face with the exact solution, via a couple of plot twists I was not expecting and wtf they did they build themselves??

Bad news is, this makes the current summary moot lmao. But it’s what draft 1 is, so it had to stay. Great news is, I’m hyper thrilled for the new version<3

Remnant

This was where the plot started deviating from the outline, and it showed<3

Corpse Snow

Aka the second and final part of the Luitgart chapters. A whole lot of things go down in this 20k behemoth, and mostly? I don’t think anything will change. Not much at all. It feels strange to return to a WIP with plot, but strange in a good way, and everything in Corpse Snow somehow magically came out as I wanted to tell it. Or re-reading will tell? Anyway I can’t connect two braincells about this particular act without wanting to heart and cry vomit

You know what the sad thing is? It could’ve been longer. It should’ve been longer, Hahn included, but I got deathly afraid of that 20k at one point, and decided to cut some stuff out. I’m thinking of adding them back in draft 2, but I’ll sleep on it. I need to sleep on it, or else I risk losing some really good stuff.

And this is also the chapter when Madigan wakes up and sees clearly, wide-eyed, oh, Spica’s his loved one

[also gonna throw this out into the world before it can ever become a thing. There’s nothing romantic between them; Madigan’s exactly 43 as per one of his random rants, and Spica is in his early twenties. They’re got the most familial relationship out there and that’s it]

Wine in the Hanging Lights

</3

What Goes Around... — Act 3

Sadly this is where I’ll have to learn to shut up kindly, because the heavy spoilers begin. So I’ll just spoil you with emoji lmaooo:<

❤❤💞💘💖💗⛔❗⁉️💀👾❗➖🚫

Outreach

THIS. THIS ONE. HOLY FUCK. The plot twist it threw right into my face woke me up from a 8h zombie state of post-proofreading work, and I was pretty much swearing out loud the entire night. All praise Outreach, it solved all my outline issues<3333

Days in Darkness

Now, on the other hand, I was highkey looking forward to this chapter the most out of all. The gorgon (aka the ship Madigan stole, ahem, borrowed) is getting character development here as well, and it’s a beast:<

(It seems the smallest Act, yeah? Yeah, it was the longest)

Echo Terminal — Act 4

We little people on a loop system... heading for the end of the universe... heading for certain doom... lalalala nice background music... oh, someone loses  a leg. Oh, someone dies again. A ghostly explosion around the gorgon... oh, I see the Beast’s fangs.

Where Have You Gone?

This does not mean what you think it does, I guarantee you. Also where we part with Holloway’s story, and why it matters for Madigan’s. How they connect.

Solgesis

One of the two log chapters, the other being Echo Terminal. They’re much shorter, but very... to the point. The plot twist from Outreach? Gets built and expanded here. And here goes in all my revamp from the day before NaNo.

Beads of Orichalcum

Nothing to see here, just a tonnuva righteous fury, parallelism like it’s nobody’s business, Madigan being highkey a badass finally, and we’re very very near to the end. Though it doesn’t feel so. Not at all. It’s back to the bleak atmosphere of the beginning, but now there’s a change: they have each other now. And there’s no separating them.

The End of the Deep Night

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

...on the other hand, in case you were wondering how possessed I was about this chapter and really, WIP, hear me out: I actually dreamt of those two and that became the very last scene of the book. Which, whoops, spoilers? They’ve got each other. Till the end. But that’s all I’m saying lalala...

Whew! Must’ve felt like another year. In reading, though, because for me it passed in an instant hahahaha. Or it would’ve, if tumblr hadn’t screwed me over and thrown me out of my drafts thus deleting everything I’d written on Aberration...

All that remains are a lot of heartfelt thanks! If you’ve made it this far and accompanied me to the bottom of the post, I’m whipping up a mug of the most delicious cocoa with whipped cream you’ve ever had, you more than deserve it and I love you<3

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I hope to see more of you and your incredible writing. And I hope you also feel like writing is a part of you and... fuck drafts, fuck perfectionism, fuck everything lol. This is what makes us happy. For a visible reason. And each and every one of you can and does shine through your writing, and the love or feeling you pour inside. I believe in you, and there’s nothing you can’t do ❤🥂

[teeth-and-tea]

Anime I've Binged: August 2021

I've been crafting a lot recently because I wanna get my yarn work done before it gets cold so LOTS OF ANIME lmao let's gooooo

The Case Study of Vanitas: On god, this anime is gorgeous. Still being upload as it's a new seasonal, but it's a Yen Press distributed work by the same mangaka of Pandora Hearts and Crimson Shell so it's STYLISTICALLY GORGEOUS. The story is interesting and feels new but familiar enough to have guess, people who like men AND women will have something for them, and Noè is my baby boy, my heart, my lovely little lamb, the sweetest green bean on the planet <3. Can't wait for the (eventual, as told on the first episode) death of Vanitas by Noè's hands that will crush me <3. 9/10.

Oddtaxi: I was NOT EXPECTING this anime to be THAT GOOD. Oddakawa is the MVP. You think you're getting a slice of life anime with some furry elements and instead you get Paranoia Agent meets Yakuza and went to school with Beastars. Genuinely one of the best anime of the coming decade. The last 30 seconds of the last episode legitimately left me screaming and my brother had to ask me what was wrong. 11/10.

The Slime Diaries: The offshoot for That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime full of shorts while the second half of the second season was put on hiatus due to covid. Cute, bubbly, but the drawing styles for everyone was a little too off for me to entirely enjoy. However, the extra background and time they gave to all the characters really fleshed them out and gave them more depth so you have more to care about when you're watching the main series again. Not bad, pretty cute, but you won't understand unless you've watched all the way up to the middle of the Second Season. 8.5/10.

The Slow Life of a Cheat Pharmacist: Another Light Novel Slice of Life Isekai given life, I've seen better but this one isn't bad by any means. It gives you exactly what it says on the tin, with NO annoying fan service or gross (bad) harem dynamics. Pretty cute tbh. 8/10.

Mob Psycho 100 S1: The animation is INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD. Story was solid, depictions of original characters was GREAT and Mob is my beautiful little boy I want to wrap up in a blanket and put to sleep <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Reigen is a sweaty, sweaty gross goblin I found outside the Denny's dumpster at midnight and decided "ahh, yes, a man who is perfect to destroy and objectify all at once." 11/10.

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid S1, S2, and Shorts: I'm gonna be real, I'm a mad lesbian who knew I was gonna be disappointed by what I wanted but knew I wasn't gonna get it. STILL super cute tho. Lucoa and Shota gave me HARD SIDE EYE VIBES THO. Tits. Tits for days. Not my favorite but I've seen worse. 7.5/10.

How to Keep a Mummy: SO CUTE genuinely went online to see if I could buy a plushie before remembering I have crafting power and twelve dollars. Slice of Life featuring an adorable cast of high schoolers and their supernatural pets. 8.5/10. I couldn't stop being delighted by how CUTE everything was <3

Elegant Yokai Apartment Life: A Slice of Life Turned Plot-ish about if Tohru from Fruits Basket was a guy and shoved in an entire apartment complex full of supernatural beings, with less explicit romantic plotlines. It's not bad but the plot is all over the place and nonsensical in the the "why did the writer think this was a good idea" way and not the "lol" way. It was a Light Novel turned published piece tho so that clears up a lot of things. Incredibly small internet presence so if you want the world's tiniest fandom, try here. 8/10.

Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average In the Next Life?!: Another in the long line up of isekais and light novels that have gained an audience, this is honestly one of my favorite of the Isekais I've watched so far. It's fun, humorous, and it's got the decent premise of "oh yeah, I'm average in all my abilities! ... If you compare them from the tiniest bug to the strongest dragon alive." It's busty jokes and certain dried up cliches are abound tho, so some of the humor falls flat. That being said: the magic is run on nanomachines. That alone gives it enough premise for me to watch it. I watched the dub which I'll admit isn't amazing, but worked for me. 8.5/10

Restaurant to Another World: Another Light Novel adaptation but this one was a much earlier one that was published a few years ago, it's so calm that I like watching it to fall asleep to. That being said, don't watch this while hungry! Or watch it while eating leftovers! Because THE FOOD LOOKS SO GOOD I WANT IT D: Lol but serious it's pretty cute, really normal, there's no plot, I almost hesitate to call this anything other than a fantasy slice of life show instead of just a series of shorts strung together to make a show. I want to eat at Restaurant Nekoya TTuTT 8/10

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:

How NOT To Summon a Demon Lord: I got 6 episodes in before I straight up could NOT take the fan service anymore. Literally, I watched 5 1/2 episodes, paused about 4 months, gave it one last shot and watched the 6th episode, and then called it quits. It's SO GROSS IT MAKES ME NAUSEOUS. Not in a gorey way (which is preferable tbh) but in "all these hyper-sexualized, assaulted, groomed, fan serviced girls are underage or are lolis" way. Ew. Gross. I refuse. I made myself watch PRISON SCHOOL but smth about this show just... made itself unwatchable. Maybe how it's still trying to make the MC seem like a normal dude and in Prison School they were literally all written to be unlikable and everyone knew it was fucked up. Here, it's like... portrayed as normal and positive? I just can't do it fam, I hate this show so goddamn much. I'm going to bed.

[spaceorphan18]

Hey random question lol

I'm watching glee with my mom and for some reason she likes me to spoil her everything so I just tell her little things like: Blaine will do this or someone special will appear, and she tries to guess but I tell her not to, because I don't know how she always guesses, and I can't lie to her cause I start laughing... Anyway, the latest is she guessed the most unexpected plot twist for us Klaine shippers: Blaine dating Karofsky, I just told her: Blaine will date someone just ew (I like Dave but not the couple), so my mom goes, oh is it that guy that bullied Kurt? So to stop me from laughing I instead told her it would be with Sebastian 😂, and that Blaine would never do something like that to Kurt, I still want it to be a surprise for her, my question is, how does she guess everything?Are the plots that obvious for adults? Or is just her or what

The first time that you watched did you also knew what was gonna happen sometimes?

Or does my mom just sees the future lol

Sometimes I don't even tell her clues and she just plain guesses the next scene while we're watching lol

So. I'm a huge Agatha Christie fan - as in the author who wrote a ton of murder mysteries during the first half of the 20th Century. When I went to see Knives Out with my brother in the theater about a quarter of the way in I leaned into my brother and said: "Person X is the murderer". And I was right. Why? Because Knives Out stylized itself after old Agatha Christie stories. And once you understand the pattern and structure, it's somewhat easy to spot where the story is going to go. (As an aside - I still enjoyed Knives Out, just because you understand the story doesn't make it less enjoyable.)

The older you get and the more you take in various kinds of media, the more acclimated you get to the story telling process. Glee relies on a lot of old story telling techniques and as wacky as it gets sometimes, doesn't stray too far from traditional story telling methods. So, it's not so hard to figure out where the story is going to go.

You let your mom know that Blaine's going to date someone 'ew' - and your mom, probably knowing you and how you react things, could probably suss out that you were talking about an established character. Since there are very few gay male characters who actively make you feel 'ew' she probably had a very good idea from context you gave her about whom you were talking about.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) your mom isn't psychic - she just understands between Glee's story telling style and understanding you as her kid could probably piece together using context clues who Blaine was going to date.

But also yes - Glee's 'plot twists' aren't exactly novel or original. (And that's fine, btw!) And if she's familiar with musicals in any capacity, or with sitcoms and teen soaps, she probably has a good understanding of where the story is going to go.

Also, to answer you question about if I knew in advance, I was very heavily spoiled the last few years of the show. (I wouldn't recommend that - it made me an anxious mess, and all the speculating was kind of a worthless time suck.) So, I knew relatively early in the hiatus between season 5 and 6 Karofsky was going to be dating Blaine. We also spent a lot of time debating (especially at the end of season 5) if Klaine was going to break up again.

I knew from the Season 4 finale it'd be a very real possibility when the Jan told them that she and Liz had broken up twice and got back together twice that that would probably be the direction they were taking the Klaine story. Glee liked to foreshadow things like that a lot.

One memory I have pretty vividly on this topic was during Season 2. I remember watching Silly Love Songs for the first time, and when Kurt and Blaine were bantering about When Harry Met Sally and being Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal - I said to myself 'oh yeah, Blaine's definitely sticking around to be Kurt's love interest'. It's the nature of storytelling to bake in little clues like that to set up where the story is going to go.

I hope you're having fun watching with your mom! I did that a few years ago, and it was a riot.

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

I Taste Honey but I Haven’t Seen the Hive - Chapter Seven

Ao3,   Masterpost,  C.1   C.2   C.3   C.4   C.5   C.6

Relationships: eventual queer-platonic intruality, platonic dlampr.

okay. so. last time we heard anything out of me was *New Years*, Literally, and maybe i should’ve mentioned that I was taking a little hiatus, but oh well. i’m back now and i’m gonna post the last three chapters of this fanfiction as soon as I possibly can (so probably like all of them will be up by tmrw at the latest!!) to make up for my absence. but jokes on you, cuz I did actually finish this thing!!! >:P 

(oh yeah, and there are no italics, thanks to tumblr’s copy/paste bulls//t. i continue to be lazy :3 if anything sounds stilted just imagine that theres an italicized word there and yeah.)

Warnings: cursing, sexual innuendo, discussions of sexuality, misunderstandings, Emotional Conversations, sharing a bed, mild body horror (remus’ existence lol), stress, h/c. 

Word count: 7,967

The hallway was cold, and dark. It had been long-since abandoned of any life, with every door shut and each light dimmed- even Virgil’s. That day- the day of the meeting- had exhausted everyone enough to send them right to sleep mode. 

Everyone except Remus and Patton.

Their heart-to-heart in the kitchen had dragged on a little longer than either had expected, letting night descend fully over the Mindpalace. Patton was the one to notice the time eventually, and drag his less-than-restful friend up the stairs with him- he could tell that the other was dead tired, though. His stubborn determination not to end the conversation didn’t sit well, but Patton couldn’t think what to make of it, and they really did need some sleep. 

They reached Patton’s door first. He stopped in front of it, when Remus tugged his hand back insistently. He turned to him, letting out a confused hum, and was met with a scowl and a sigh.

Remus was looking even more resigned than he had when they first started talking that night. Patton waited, worried. 

“This isn’t, um,” Remus exhaled, ragged around the edges. “This isn’t a pick-up line, okay, and I know that it’ll sound that way and I know that it’s me but. I really don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

Oh. 

Patton’s heart ached- and his heart was big, it took up most of him. He felt the pain spread out from his center and into his fingertips and toes, hot and empathetic. Because how could he hear something like that, and not want to spend the rest of the night doting on the creature in front of him until that voice never sounded so small again, till he was as big and confident as he was meant to be?

“I don’t think I want to be alone, either,” Patton said.

Remus stared, his big scarlet eyes casting a faint glow in the dark. They were wide, cautiously hopeful.

“Yeah?” He muttered.

“Yeah.”

Patton opened the door, and led them both inside.

Remus shuffled around on the other side of the bed, but Patton was still, however much he wanted to squirm.

“Um.”

The movement stopped, and he flushed at the feeling of being watched in the dark. There really was no un-awkward way to say it, was there?

“Remus, since you’re staying, do you- um, do you mind doing me a favor?” 

Remus, little more than a silhouette, propped himself up on his elbow, a tilt to his head. “A favor? Of course, anything for you, Pat,” his words were a purr, and Patton could envision the suggestive smirk on his face in perfect clarity. Patton felt another well of discomfort bubble in his stomach.

“Could you at least wear some clothes, please?” 

There was a beat. Remus laughed, short and good-natured. 

“Yeah, I sorta figured I would. It’s no problem.”

“Thank you,” Patton sighed, relieved. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he paused, and that really would’ve been the end of it, but Patton had learned by then when Remus was about to make a joke. He took a little breath while the words were still clicking together in his head, and a grin crept into his voice. “There’s always tomorrow night to try this clothesless, eh?”

“I’m asexual,” Patton blurted, and he could feel the heat radiating from his face, though he didn’t even know why he was so uncomfortable. It was a joke, Remus was just joking. They were friends and Patton should’ve been used to it- but he’d already gotten so sensitive that night, and jokes like that always hit just a little different than the violent ones or the curses. It must have been a breaking point, or something. 

Remus shifted again, laying on his back. Patton wondered if he’d made things awkward. 

“Oh,” Remus said, “Oh wow, that makes so much sense!”

“It- It does?” Patton sat up, staring at the other with a mix of surprise and relief. Remus blinked up at him, nodding. 

“Well, yeah, that explains why you get so squirmy whenever anybody even implies something to do with sex. I always thought you were just, like, a prude.”

Patton ran his hands over the comforter that pooled around his legs, shrugging. He wasn’t nervous, so much as he was fidgety. “Well, maybe it was some of that, too,” he joked. 

Remus snorted, rolling onto his side and catching one of Patton’s hands in his own. He held it, playing with Patton’s fingers like he was trying to focus. 

“Hey,” he sighed, heavy, “Sorry.”

“Huh? What for?”

“C’mon, you know,” Remus gestured around with his free hand, “All the jokes, and all the times I hit on you, like, graphically. I was kidding, obviously, it was just that you always had the best reactions. If I’d known why, I mean. I don’t know if I’d have actually stopped, but whatever. Different time, different me. I’m stopping now, kay?”

Patton’s eyes went wide. He hadn’t- He wasn’t trying to make Remus stop, that wasn’t fair. He knew how important staying true to himself was to Remus, and if he’d actually managed to guilt-trip any of that away, he didn’t think he’d forgive himself.

“Oh, it’s really okay, I mean- I know you like talking about stuff like that, who am I to say you shouldn’t?”

“You never said that, actually.”

Patton nodded, even if Remus couldn’t see him, and even if he was pretty sure they were on different pages. “Exactly. You shouldn’t go changing just to make me comfortable, I’ll get used to the jokes! I guess I just wanted to know that they were, which, obviously yeah, but… um, I’m bad with knowing what tone is which, sometimes, so-”

“Ugh, Patton,” Remus was laughing, leaning up and grasping tighter around Patton’s hand, with a tone that said plainly: please shut up. Patton did, biting the inside of his cheek. “Look,” Remus huffed, “I know what you’re trying to say, and it’s real sweet that you’re so worried about this, but it’s not exactly like I’m telling you that I’m reinventing myself. I’ll definitely keep saying plenty of horny shit, trust me, I can just drop it with the comments about ya. It wouldn’t even be funny anymore; fucking with people is cool, right, but making someone I actually like feel ‘icky’, or whatever, isn’t really the same thing. It’s no big sacrifice trying to make you feel safer with me, got it?”

Remus’ eyes were on his, glowing with concern. Patton felt his face flush for an entirely new reason, nothing to do with embarrassment.

“You want to make me feel safe?” Patton grinned, just this side of giddy. “That’s a new one.”

Remus made a vague grumbly sound; it shouldn’t have been as cute as it was. “Yeah, okay, so what if I do?”

“It’s okay if you do. It’s sweet.”

“Maybe it is. Besides, you aren’t the only aspec side around,” he shrugged, “I’m not too big on the dating side of things, myself.”

Patton’s smile widened. “Thank you. I mean, for understanding, and… getting me out of my own head about all this.”

“I gotcha,” a claw traced over Patton’s knuckles, idly, “No need for thanks.”

“I’ll give it anyway, you know that.”

Remus snorted. “Mhmmm.”

With the remains of embarrassment finally fading away, Patton yawned, and remembered just how tired he was. He laid himself down finally, relaxing as his back hit the mattress. No sooner after he’d done so, Remus was letting go of his hand in favor of curling around him and setting his head on Patton’s chest. 

Patton would be lying if he said it wasn’t a relief, feeling the other unhesitant to curl up against him still. He looped his own arms around the smaller figure, practically on top of him, and traced patterns against Remus’ back. 

In hindsight, Patton couldn’t remember ever falling asleep so easily. 

The morning after, there was a crisis. A Thomas-crisis, and an emotional one, which set Patton up for a busy, busy day (or morning-through-afternoon, but it was well more than enough work for one day). The one upside to the whole mess was that he didn’t have to deal with it alone, because emotional distress fell neatly into Virgil’s area of expertise as well as his own.

At some point, you’d think they’d get numb to the endless dilemmas every other day, but with each new outing it got clearer and clearer that panic was just a part of life. Most weeks had at least one incident; there would be a mistake at the post office that needed to be worked out in person (which Patton didn’t mind, really, but Virgil hated, and Roman thought was a waste of time), there was an event for a friend of a friend that for some reason they were socially obligated to go to (which no one liked but Roman, who always thought they were one person away from being ‘discovered’), or- the present situation- there were pre-established plans that all the sides had somehow forgotten about until they were shoved into it at the last second.

Patton jolted awake with a gasp, the urgency of his human throwing him out of sleep. It was a full two hours later than he usually woke up, something he would’ve loved to appreciate on any other day. His bed was already empty- the warmth of another person still there, the covers still scrunched, but empty- which did serve to make his morning routine quicker. He dressed with a fervor that he couldn’t even place, manic exhaustion already soaking into him and making plans to stay there all day. It was going to be a rough one, being around people. 

But, Patton knew it wouldn’t be hard to ignore all that, for a little bit at least. There was still a bright side, and that side was Virgil! Who he got to spend all day with! Working, sure, but still- work done with a loved one is never work at all.

“Yeah, I don’t know if that rings true, Pat,” was Virgil’s response to the sentiment, when Patton told him.

“You’re smiling,” Patton said, because he was.

“What?” Virgil covered his mouth, “No, I’m not- shut up.” 

“You believe me, I know you do. You looove me.”

“Says you,” his mouth may have been covered, but the crows feet under his eyes creased more. His shoulders were just a little less tense, too, enough to tell Patton he was right. 

That morning wasn’t great, but, they made it better.

Remus had woken up in a lot of places that were decisively not his bed. The floor? Sure. The imagination? Oh, absolutely. Underneath furniture, on top of furniture, and on counters- anywhere lie-down-able, been there and done that. Just for the fun of it, really, and a nice shock to whoever found him curled up in the sink or beneath cabinets. He was used to a crick in the neck or a splotch of red, rough carpet print on the side of the face. 

So he didn’t really know why, waking up in someone else’s bed, he jolted out of it so quick, he looked like he’d been electrocuted. Or why, after scrambling out of Patton’s arms with whatever carefulness he could manage, he bolted from the scene entirely.

Remus began the slow process of piecing it together after he all but slammed the door behind him, trembling and cursing his way down the hall. He dragged away from Patton’s room and let his back hit the wall, sliding to the floor with a kind of hysteria he could only describe as itchy-vomity-terrifying-amazing. 

He did itch at his skin, he was feeling a bit sick, a bit scared, but he thought he might’ve been grinning anyway, so the description fit well enough. Except, nothing was fitting actually well, right then.

The closeness. The attention. The fact that he’d spent eight hours of sleep getting a full dosage of both those things. The fact that it had been more of both of them than he could remember getting, ever. Of course he’d scrambled away- how else could he react!?

Remus didn’t get overwhelmed. Except, apparently he did! What another fun surprise!

A door creaked open down the hall (thank God not Patton’s). Remus felt the eyes on him, and looked up- manically, he looked well and truly manic.

Logan blinked at him. He looked a lot like an owl in the mornings, Remus noted. One of those smart ones, obviously, not one of the ones that fucks around counting licks on a lollipop. 

Logan cleared his throat. 

“Remus? Is everything alright?” 

Remus shrugged, grinning. “Maybe! Who knows, though, right? It’s a lot, you know?”

Logan did not know, and said as much. Remus only laughed, letting his head hit back against the wall in the process.

He still felt warm, inside and out, after all that cuddling. It was weird, good-weird, but still so new. And, like he said, a lot. He’d felt that kind of warmth before, but definitely not as much- and he knew he needed to distract himself before he went crazy. Or, before his rattrap of a brain ruined the maybe-possibly good feelings for him. 

“Hey, any chance you’re busy today?”

Logan hovered in his doorway for a minute before ultimately deciding to step out, probably determining the interaction as a prolonged one. He didn’t look too put-off about it, though.

“A very high chance,” he said, “But for now I am not. Is there something you need?”

“A distraction.”

“Ah.”

“So, you up for it?” Remus pulled himself up from the floor, popping a few joints. “At least for the morning, yeah, Geek?” 

“Of course,” he smirked, “Provided you can call me by actual name at least once in this conversation.” 

Remus grinned, probably coming off more relieved than he intended. “Eh, we’ll see about that one, Dweeb.”

Logan met him halfway down the hall, not looking at all surprised by the response. He looked, if anything, amused. Remus found himself remembering very abruptly that the two of them got along, were probably friends, and somehow that fact was still novel to him. Or maybe it was the mood. Probably both.

“Well, it was worth a try,” Logan reasoned.

“Oh, sure.”

“What were you thinking we should do, anyway?”

Remus raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m afraid that’s off the table,” Logan told him.

“Aw, fine. Surprise me, then.”

“That will be hard.”

Remus laughed, unsteady and shrill.

“C’mon, I know you’ve got it in ya.” 

Logan smiled, just-nearly-almost mischievous. “Well. I’ll see what I can do.” 

And for just a second, some of the panic slipped away, leaving behind that strange warmth. 

Patton didn’t exactly let Janus know he was coming by. It had been a long day- or, a long five hour period between ten in the morning and three in the afternoon, but still, the idea that there was any day left at all made Patton want to melt into the nearest soft object and never get up. 

When Patton needed to melt, he went to Janus’. Maybe it was the big armchairs; maybe it was the comforting, gooey little white-lies that soaked the atmosphere of his room; maybe it was the fact that his voice was so very easy to fall asleep to. Most likely, at least part of it was because he always seemed to enjoy taking care of people, anyway. 

It was a nice combination, and exactly what was needed. Patton could apologize for not knocking later, ideally when he wasn’t falling asleep where he stood. 

“Janusss,” he groaned, by way of greeting, and promptly collapsed onto the nearest soft surface while the door swung shut behind him. 

Janus blinked at him from across the room, surprise lasting for approximately three seconds. He turned around, and sighed.

“Well, hello to you, too.”

Patton hummed, drearily.

“You look cheery,” Janus quipped, “Anything you’d like to talk about?” 

The question was spoken lightly, but not insincere. Patton lifted his head enough to smile tiredly at the snake. He shrugged, for the room was working it's magic already, as was the easy company to be found there. Stress was easing away, in small bits, evaporating into warm shimmers under his skin. He had no doubt that Janus was doing some of it on purpose, as soon as he’d noticed the mood Patton was in, giving him a blanket of speckled reassurances (which were, as Janus insisted to him time and time again, just a tiny, harmless breed of pleasant lies) in an almost-literal way. 

Most things about the sides’ rooms were like that. Almost-literal; concepts that crept their way into the physical world, if only slightly. Janus was the best at those kinds of things, though. 

“’S just been a tiring day, y’know?” 

Janus sat beside him, toying with some spare yellow strings, weaving and unweaving them almost carelessly. “I do.”

“A tiring night, too,” Patton added, an afterthought, but he found as he said so that it was true. Long in a good way. An impactful way. It felt like something important had happened, something that changed, but he didn't quite know what. It was still just as draining, though.

Janus raised an eyebrow, but he did not pry (even if he most likely wanted to).“So, you’ve come here.”

“Do you mind if I just rest in here for a bit?” He said, as he’d already gotten quite comfortable.

“Why don’t I do you one better?”

Patton hummed confusedly, but Janus had already begun urging him to sit up. The snake waved a hand, filling the room with light, swirling piano music. At once the air seemed to grow fuzzy, spicks and specks of what looked like golden glitter floating around- not unlike from the distortion Patton’s own room gave him when he was happy. Janus smiled down at him, summoning a neat little tea set on a tray and fixing them each a cup of the swirling, caramel-colored liquid. 

Patton sighed happily, taking the teacup he was proffered and thanking the lord for whatever he’d done to deserve a friend like Janus. 

Janus sat beside him, balancing the tea tray on an end table, and let their shoulders bump. He wasn’t a touchy person, exactly, but he allowed for a conservative amount of casual intimacy. Occasionally, and in an unspoken way, but still.

The atmosphere had exactly the intended effect. Patton felt paradisiacal. 

“Gosh, what would any of us do without you?” 

Janus hummed. “You’d most certainly perish.”

Patton laughed, his chest lighter already. 

Remus felt good for about ten seconds after leaving Logan’s room and letting the guy get to work, fresh off the good morning he’d had. Then, very promptly, the weight that the remaining hours of daylight carried dropped onto his shoulders, and he would’ve been perfectly willing to claw his brain out to get a moment of reprieve from the whole barrage of irrational terror worming around in it.

Remus didn’t know why it was so bad that day (well- he had a guess, but thinking about it obviously made it suck worse, so). What he did know was that he needed someone to keep fucking distracting him, and that someone could under no circumstances be Patton.

Luckily, avoiding him wasn’t hard- he was still busy, and Remus had a feeling he’d need a rest once Thomas’ crisis was over, anyway- but that didn’t do much to solve the other half of Remus’ problem.

He needed something big, loud, and most importantly, not solo. He needed someone that could take up a whole room just as easily as himself, with endless energy to bounce back and forth, back and forth, until neither of them would ever worry about anything other than the moment and whatever it was they would do together… 

Oh, god fucking dammit. 

Remus sunk out to the Imagination. No, not his. The opposite half.

He rose up into more than a blank canvas, but less than a finished work; a vibrant world with gaps and white spots. He might’ve taken the time to look around, but- unsurprisingly- his brother was in front of him, accosting him, immediately. Seriously, it was like he’d teleported. 

“What are you doing here?” Roman snapped, his hands, still splattered with ink, landing on his hips. 

“Aw, so now I’m not even allowed to visit my own flesh and blood, and other various parts?” 

Roman scrunched his nose up. “No, you aren’t allowed. This is my room!”

Remus- as he always did when someone said he couldn’t do something- cackled. 

“I’m serious!” Roman whined, “I’m busy!”

Now, he said that, but Remus knew from personal experience that if Roman wanted him gone, he could’ve forced him out without too much issue- or worse yet, attacked him outright. He didn’t seem to be about to spring, though, not looking any worse than annoyed, so Remus happily decided that this interaction fell into the normal-and-healthy-sibling-bickering category instead of the unfortunately familiar would-genuinely-commit-fratricide-if-possible category. 

He grinned. “Yeah, and I’m bored!”

“Not my problem, and you’re still in my room.” 

“What, worried I’ll gunk up all your magic ponies and Yellow Brick Roads, or whatever it is you like to play with around here?”

“Yes, I am!” Roman scowled, but it looked a lot like he was straining his jaw not to laugh. “And you know I don’t make those, you fiend, I made a unicorn once and that was only because Logan wanted one.”

“You’re shitting me if you say that you weren’t the kid who always wanted a pony, Ro.”

“Well, how’s a pony any better than a thestral, which I seem to remember someone getting all excited about when we first read the-books-that-shall-not-be-named?”

“Ooh! Good idea, we should abso-fucking-lutely make those!” Remus wandered past his brother, looking around at the half-finished scene that he’d walked in on. It was sunny, pleasant- all around very vanilla, but there was at least a sense of adventure thrumming under it that gave the place a kick. With some work, it could actually be, like, fun! “Ever see somebody die? Don’t worry, I can help with that.”

Roman turned to him, looking hilariously incredulous with what was happening.

“Um? Excuse me? This is my domain,” he blinked, and a smug smirk crossed his lips. “Which means that you don’t have the power to make anything here! So, ha!”

Oh, right. That made a lot of sense, actually. How had he forgotten that? It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d tried to make something with his brother, right? 

…Wow. That had no business hurting as much as it did.

“Uh- Remus?” 

His head snapped up, a smile with too-many teeth already strained across his face. Remus’ head was scattered enough, coming here wasn’t supposed to make it worse.

“Sure, okay- there’s gotta be some way for us to build stuff together!” 

Roman stared appraisingly at his sibling, apparently thinking before he argued for the one and only time in his life. He tilted his head in confusion, perhaps worry. 

“I- well-” Roman glanced at what he’d been making, and down at his hands. “I’m sure I could, perhaps, let you have power here. Just this once.” He huffed. “It’s my room, right? So there’s no reason why I couldn’t do that, if I wanted.”

“Do you?” 

“Ugh.” Roman rolled his eyes, perfunctorily. “Fine. I don’t know what’s up with you, but I’d rather you be your normal weird-self than… whatever this is,” Roman stuck his hand out, his chin raised like it was a challenge. “Good?”

Remus grabbed his hand (and did not buzzer him, or slime him, even though it would have been so easy- because they were having A Moment and even he could appreciate the sanctity of something like that). 

“Yeah,” he said. “We’re good.”

Roman, as it turned out, was able to tolerate Remus for a whopping six hours, right up until five p.m., and only shooed him away in order to finish the project that he’d more-or-less happily dropped when Remus stopped by. So Roman wasn’t the worst brother in the world, Remus acknowledged. He then resolved to never, under any circumstances, say that to Roman’s face. 

The door to the Imagination shut with a click. The sound matched almost perfectly with another, sharper one down the hall, what Remus recognized as Janus’ door closing. He glanced up with a grin, wondering if he could maybe get Snakey to distract him for a while- only to lock eyes with precisely what he needed distracting from.

Patton smiled at him. He looked tired, relaxed, and raised a hand in some semblance of a wave. It would probably be a great opportunity to unwind together, talk stuff out, and definitely curl into each other on the couch.

Remus wasn’t going to take that opportunity, though.

Remus stared back at Patton for all of three seconds, the grin sliding off his face, before barging through the nearest door and slamming it behind himself. 

Shit. Fuck. What the hell did he do that for? It was just Patton, Remus knew Patton; there was no reason to be jittery enough to bolt from him twice. There was no way Patton wouldn’t think he was mad- which he wasn’t, even if he barely understood why he was losing it, he knew it wasn’t anger. But Patton wouldn’t know that, and he’d cry, probably, and Remus wasn’t sure if he was good enough at comforting people to fix it after. Christ, maybe he couldn’t fix it, maybe he’d still be too keyed up to talk to Pat, even if he started bawling! 

“Hey? What the fuck?”

Remus spun around, and yeah, he could’ve guessed whose room he ended up in without the gravelly voice to give it away, given that little spiral. A surprised-looking Virgil stared up at him, sitting cross-legged on a spiderweb bedspread. 

Remus ignored the thin layer of anxiety still rolling under his skin (now that he could place it), and shrugged, sliding until he sat on the floor.

“Oh, hi,” he said.

“Yeah, hi to you too, but my question still stands:” Virgil clapped his hands together, “What. The fuck?” 

Remus considered a few possible snarky responses, but found that most of them were pretty pathetic. Besides, evading vulnerable situations was more of Janus’ thing, and Remus didn’t want to steal his bit. 

“I’m hiding like a little bitch, so don’t kick me out, or I’ll maul you.”

Virgil’s eyebrows went up, but the surprise in his face was being replaced, slowly, by confused resignation. “Okay, cool. Why here, and why me?”

“First door.”

“Yeah, that’s about my luck,” he blew his bangs out of his face, “So like, you’re not gonna go anywhere else?”

Remus thought about it, but it was an easy choice. If he was gonna whine to anybody about something like this, he decided, it’d probably be Virgil. Virgil was good with fear, he was good with Patton, and he was good at making fun of shit if a conversation got too serious. 

“Nah. Sorry, Emo Boy, but I’ve already annoyed Logan and my dipshit brother today. Looks like it’s your turn!”

“What about Janus?”

“Eh, he’s a live-in therapist for the rest of you already. I think I’ll give him the day off.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, sighing with all the exasperation of a teenage burnout and not a thirty-year-old metaphysical humanoid.

“Okay, okay- and why’s Patton off the table? He, like, actually enjoys helping people,” Virgil glanced down, scuffing the carpet with the side of his foot. “He’s good at it, too.”

“Yeahhhh,” Remus locked his teeth together, inhaled through them, “About that.”

“What, aren’t you two all close now?” Virgil frowned, “I fuckin’ saw you guys at the meeting yesterday, you were so on top of each other, I feel like I forgot that you were two separate sides,” to anybody who didn’t know him, the way he talked about it would sound harsh. Remus, however, knew exactly how soft Virgil really was- the fucking poser- and that that shit? That was pure encouragement, raw as a bloody, bloody steak. 

Which, of course, only made Remus wince again.

He flopped sideways onto the floor, groaning. “Yeah, we’re close. That’s- I think that might be the problem?” That sounded right, almost, but just wrong enough to feel icky and annoying. “Ugh, I don’t know. So I just ran!”

There was a beat.

“Wait a second,” Virgil’s voice was tight- oh that bitch, he was laughing! “You’re hiding from Patton?”

Remus huffed. Okay, so maybe it was a little funny, he could appreciate that- but! He was still upset about it!!

“I mean, what has he done to scare you off?” Virgil pressed, “Too many compliments? Did he hug you too hard? I know the dude can be a lot sometimes, but-”

“Okay, ok-ay,” Remus couldn’t help it, he managed a laugh at it, too. “It’s ridiculous! It’s fucking ridiculous and he’s not even the problem!”

“Then what is the problem?” Virgil was snickering, “And don’t say that it’s you, dude. At least one of us around here has to not hate himself to hell and back, and you’ve defended that title for too long to lose it,” he cleared his throat right after he said it, sitting up straighter and trying to look like he hadn’t just been laughing like a huge dork. “Not that I’m, like, worried about you or anything.”

“Aw, you so are,” Remus stared up at the ceiling, grinning despite the ache in his chest. “But no, it’s not that. He thinks I’m awesome and he’s right, so don’t worry.”

Virgil leaned over him, staring upside-down at Remus. He squinted.

“Hey, this a serious problem?”

“I guess so. You can joke about it, though.”

“Cool. Um,” Virgil pulled away. Remus sat up, watching the trait cross one leg over the other, flip them, then tap his knee one-two-three-etc. times. He chewed on his lip. The whole nine yards of a classic Focused-Virgil Face. “Okay. You can tell me about it, seriously. I’ll try to help, or whatever.”

Remus blinked at him.

“Don’t- Jesus- don’t make a big deal out of it, dude-”

“Oh, I am.”

“I don’t even have a choice, okay, you’re the one who-”

“You’re so sweet, Virgey!”

“Remus, I swear to God, repeat that to anyone and I…” 

Virgil trailed off. Remus pouted at him, dramatically, his eyes practically glowing with mischief. “C’mon, aren’t you going to threaten me?”

“I was, and then I remembered that you’re like, actually into that kinda stuff, so. No. Nope, I’m good.”

“Fine,” he shrugged, “Looks like you’re resigned to just hearing about my feelings, instead!”

Virgil rolled his eyes again- of course he did- but there was no hiding the way he went quiet, patient, you could even call it attentive.

It was an offering, one that Remus didn’t hesitate to take. 

Patton left Janus’ room in a good mood.

He was in a considerably less good mood when, as soon as he’d left, Remus saw him and scrambled away like Patton was about to attack him where he stood- wide-eyed with fear and everything.

Patton swayed in the hallway for seconds after, uncertain about a lot of things suddenly. 

The room Remus had run into had definitely been Virgil’s, not his own, and for a moment Patton entertained the idea of just going up to knock. He dropped that thought quick, realizing that if he really wasn’t wanted, then he definitely didn’t want to confirm that he wasn’t wanted.

He might have gone back to Janus- Janus was smart, Janus knew how to explain things and solve problems and comfort people- but that was scrapped, too. He’d taken up plenty of the snake’s time already, firstly, and secondly… No, yeah, Patton already knew just who he needed to see for something like this. 

Logan set aside his laptop as soon as Patton walked into the common room, a surprisingly perceptive gesture for someone who claimed to be bad with feelings. Or maybe Patton had just gotten rusty at hiding them.

“Hi,” he greeted, wobbly.

“Hello,” Logan said, “You look upset.”

Patton stared at the wall just above his friend’s head, and nodded.

“Can I help?”

He paused. It was a bad habit- one of many!- but feeling unwanted by one side made him wonder if, maybe, he was unwanted by everyone. The thought formed a lump in his throat and had guilt pooling in his gut, but this was Logan. His best friend, the person he had gone to because he always knew just where he stood with him. If Logan didn’t want to help- no, because he always wanted to- if he couldn’t handle helping, then he would tell Patton that. He always did.

“I think Remus is upset with me,” Patton blurted it out quickly, just so he didn’t have to hear them. Logan vanished his laptop at once, gesturing to the spot beside him on the sofa. Patton sat with him, smiling feebly.

“Has he said anything of the sort?”

“No,” Patton picked at the sleeve of his sweater, “He didn’t really have to. He kind of… ran away from me?”

Logan’s eyes widened behind his frames, almost imperceptibly. “I see.”

“I don’t even know what I did,” Patton flushed with the admission, because of just how true it was. He had no idea what he did, and still he felt blame settling over him like a well worn blanket, and all that he could do was hope it wasn’t as bad as the last time. “I feel like I should know this stuff by now, shouldn’t I?”

There was a pause, as Logan processed the words carefully, seemed to turn them over in his head. 

“Be careful not to jump to conclusions, Patton. He typically freely expresses how he is feeling at any given time, so even if his actions seem to say otherwise, it’s entirely possible that he’s not upset with you,” Logan smiled reassuringly. “I find that most of his actions are meaningless. He’s a very weird creature.”

Patton managed to laugh at that. Logan leaned their shoulders together, a little pride flashing in his eyes, as he continued. “He did seem to be ‘out of it’, in a manner of speaking, when we spoke earlier today. It would make sense if that had worsened over the past few hours, and now he’s just particularly flighty. All in all, I wouldn’t read too much into it, if I were you.”

Patton nodded, resolutely not mentioning that they’d spent the night together, however relevant that was. He knew it would sound paranoid to imply that their intimacy had backfired, or come too quick- because Patton was paranoid, and certainly a little neurotic, and the less he voiced it the better. 

Instead, he followed the advice he didn’t believe, and let himself rest against his friend. Logan had laced their fingers together; it wasn’t as comforting as it usually was. 

Logan was only so touchy when it was for the sake of others, and almost always that ‘other’ was Patton. A fact that made the needy trait feel amazingly special most of the time, but on nights like that… More than anything, he felt greedy.

“I’ll ask him about it,” Patton promised, because he knew that was what Logan would suggest (even if the idea made him more than a little dreadfilled). “Maybe I overwhelmed him. He’s been cuddly, so I thought…” Patton shook his head, bile hitting the back of his throat as the realization collapsed upon him. “That’s probably it. I must have took it too far.”

Logan didn’t pry, but Patton could feel his concern mount just as well as he could see the frown on his face.

“Talking to him will be the best course of action,” he said plainly. “For the time being, though,” he released Patton’s hand, wrapping his arm loosely around Patton’s waist and leaving it there. “It might be beneficial for you to receive more reassurance. Is this alright?”

“Yes,” Patton ducked his head, knowing full well how obviously relieved he sounded, “Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me, I’m happy to help,” Logan told him, and he had no doubt that it was true. Still, it always surprised him anyway- and that at least was a good thing about a friend who was so reserved. The pleasant surprises.

Patton sat up enough to rest his head on top of Logan’s, a position that was almost but not quite cuddling.

“I sincerely hope,” Logan muttered, “That everything will be alright for you.”

Whether he was speaking only about the Remus situation or not was unclear.

“Me too.”

“If it’s any consolation, it’s very difficult to stay upset with you, if he truly is so. In my experience, at least.”

Patton sighed. “Thanks, buddy.”

“Of course. Your happiness is-... you, are very important to me, and I can only hope that you’ve made a friend that values you as much as I do.”

Patton knew what he meant by it. Both he and Logan were acutely aware of how different they were, and how little they matched with each other. Patton couldn’t understand him- not wanting to be showered in love, enjoying silence and a little bit of alone time, needing space. He knew that Logan didn’t get him, either- didn’t know why he cried all the time, or why nothing ever seemed to fix him for good, or why he said so many things that went without saying. They still struggled with each other’s languages, sometimes, but they’d gotten miles and miles better with it over the years. Sometimes Patton thought that the only way they’d become so close was sheer willpower, pushing past each misunderstanding and argument just because they liked the challenge of it. Determination was always a common thread between them, whatever differences they had.

They had to have boundaries, then. Logan might not hold Patton on his worst days, but he’d give him notes and gifts and bring him water, food, things that he neglected for himself. Patton didn’t have any of the right words to talk Logan down when things got bad, but he was always there to cheer him back up when he was ready again. Neither of them understood each other, and maybe they never would, but they cared. Even if they couldn’t be what the other needed, they cared, and that was all they had to do. 

So even if Logan couldn’t fix things, Patton thought, he still did a hell of a good job patching them up. 

“Hey. Hey!”

Patton turned around with a jolt, his fingers going tight in the blanket about his shoulders. How long he’d been downstairs, he didn’t know- but he knew that he was really, very tired, and now was left blinking and confused at the person accosting him with so much energy. 

“Um, hi,” Patton tried.

Remus had run up to him at once, and was just as suddenly seizing both of his hands. Patton might have taken a moment to appreciate the touch, but with just one sentence that positivity crumbled:

“I need to talk to you.”

Patton shoved a plastic smile onto his face. He always felt a little icky to be faking it, but with Remus, the shame was especially thick. Still, it was only instinct. 

“Okay.”

Patton opened the door; the Duke marched in without waiting for invitation, and he followed. 

Dread dripped down his spine like melting ice cubes. This is fine, Patton told himself firmly, once they were both sitting feet apart on the bed. He refused to think too hard about what the distance meant- if it meant anything at all, or if he was only being ridiculous.

“Sorry about today,” Remus began, “Really. I was freaking out for the stupidest fucking reason. You’ll laugh when I tell you!”

Patton didn’t laugh, but he smiled a little more wholly. If Remus was upset with him, the apology must’ve meant at least some of that had faded away. Probably.

“It’s okay, Mess,” the nickname rolled off his tongue easily. Remus grinned at him, but it was somehow more manic than usual.

“I probably got you all worried over nothing, bolting on you before you could wake up- and then again earlier, right?”

There was a pause, as Patton tried to decide if the question was rhetoric or not. When the silence stretched on uncomfortably, he found himself nodding. 

Remus huffed out a breath, rocking back and staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I- I’m still working at the whole self-improvement thing, ya know? That probably doesn’t make it better, but- I’ve never really had a reason to try and be, uh, considerate. Janus never really cared if I was a bitch, and nobody else ever mattered, and that- yeah, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about.” 

His voice was raspy, low and thick in a way that it almost never was. Patton tipped his head to the side, confused. Remus looked- and sounded- awkward, an expression that was not at home on his face. 

“Wait, um- so it wasn’t anything I did? You’re not upset with me?”

Remus looked at him like he was crazy (ironic, that).

“Upset with you?” He crowed, “Why the fuck would I be upset with you?”

Patton flushed; he laughed embarrassedly, or maybe in relief; he toyed with the sleeves of his sweater.

“I didn’t really- I don’t know, but I was worried that I’d, um, overstepped some boundaries last night, and maybe made you uncomfortable.”

He was only kind of looking at his friend, from out the corners of his eyes. It was still easy to see the way Remus went from confused to amused, and then burst into cackles.

“You- You- Me? Morey, please, it takes a lot to make me uncomfortable- if that’s even possible, actually- and you sure as shit haven’t figured out how to pull it off yet. Sugar, I asked to stay with you!”

The relief flooded Patton all in a rush, and he felt himself finally relax. With Remus laughing and joking and being his usual (sweet, impressively sweet, surprisingly so) self again, it all started seeming a little silly. Remus must’ve seen him coming untense, folding down the same way accordion-pressed paper sprawled out when it was released from a bored student’s hand, because his gaze went warm, like something had finally clicked into place in his head. A problem solved, and what a wonderful solution it had come to- that’s what the look said. 

Patton met the smile just as brightly when the Duke shifted over some of the distance between them, taking up both of Morality’s hands in his own yet again. 

“Well, since it wasn’t something I did,” Patton said, “Then what was the actual problem?”

Remus didn’t look too upset at the question, but he was glancing down, up, sideways- his pupils flitted around the room without really touching on anything for too long; it wasn’t often that he was so obviously thinking something through. His fingers flexed, face a little pink, and he hesitated before answering:

“Okay, it’s like I said, right? I don’t- I’ve never needed to try to be anything for anybody before. I mean that I never wanted to do things in a conform-y way, obviously, but, I never wanted to be considerate, either,” he smirked down at their tangled hands, shrugging. “I don’t think I’m doing too bad for a first try, to be honest- but that’s not the point, the point is- this is… new.”

Patton opened his mouth, reassurances rushing to the tip of his tongue before he was hastily shushed.

“No, look, there’s a difference between being a pushover and just being fucking nice to the people you care about. That’s the problem- or I thought it was a problem, in my dipshit lizard-panic brain this morning- right? I’ve never wanted to do anything for people, because I didn’t need them anyway. I figured I didn’t, I guess, cuz I could survive without ‘em- it wasn’t like I had a choice, but I got on fine. Not to be too… I don’t know, pathetic? Who cares, but- I never knew anything different.”

Patton’s eyes went wide and watery, like the blue of his irises were soaking into everything else and leaking, leaking, leaking. He was squeezing Remus’ hands a little too tight, certainly, and he just wanted to hug him so bad- but despite his words, Remus didn’t even seem to need it. He looked back at Patton, huffed a sigh, looking just plain amused.

“So this hit me when I was talking to Virgil, about ten minutes ago,” he started, “That I woke up today, with you, and I had this thought like… Fuck, I don’t ever wanna move again. I could starve and then start to decompose and probably rot into bloody mush, but I’d probably still be perfectly happy- which is weird, because starvation is easily one of the boringest ways to die, I could go out so much cooler- but, it was more the fact that I was with you, and uh. So, so I thought that- which is so dumb and sappy- and it surprised me so bad that I just ran. And after I had, I was so freaked out, I didn’t even remember why for!”

He took a deep breath, something that he hadn’t done for that entire ramble. Patton got the sense he still wasn’t finished though, and waited patiently.

“I never needed anybody caring about me for me to be okay- the screaming and the fleeing and all that was fine, it was still a reaction. But I think I just realized that I couldn’t go back to that, now.

“Because of you. I knew I liked you, but it never clicked that things would probably suck without you by this point. More than that, I guess- it hit me that just because I can take care of myself, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t fucking blow. That I don’t- I don’t want to be so independent again, okay? That I don’t wanna be alone anymore.”

And he couldn’t help it at all; Patton did hug him, then. He pulled him against his chest as soon as he noticed the words going choppy, choked, and halting. He let go of Remus’ hands, in favor of tangling his fingers in the Duke’s hair and carding through it.

Remus met the embrace with just as much fervor, curling up into the bigger trait. Yet somehow, he wasn’t crying yet.

“Hey, hey, I’m alright,” he murmured, “I mean, don’t let go, obviously- but I’m okay. I had all day to panic! Which I definitely did, by the way, because my whole worldview got screwed over. Finally know how you feel, I guess,” He was joking, Patton could hear his smile. He laughed. “But I got it out of my system, and ya know what I realized after that?”

Patton hummed attentively, letting Remus pull back just enough to see his face.

“I said, ‘okay, I’m processing that, and it doesn’t matter.’ It doesn’t matter because I only realized that maybe I need people once I already had them, and- no offense- but you don’t really seem like the abandoning type. The opposite, that’s what you are.”

Patton beamed. 

“Of course not,” he swore, pressing the words out as though intensity alone could make them more true, more pure. “Never, not ever.”

“Good,” Remus said, “Cuz I’m hanging on to ya, Pat. As long as I can.”

Chapter Eight

Taglist: @shrimp-crockpot @glitter-skeleton-uwu @donnieluvsthings @intruxiety @thefivecalls @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @gayformlessblob 

[night-rise]

I think what’s really going to bug me about this hiatus (or what’s already bugging me about this hiatus I should say) is Lilith’s living arrangements.

Is she really going to live in the Owl House? Be a part of the overall gang? We still don’t exactly know how Eda and Luz feel about her in general. Sure they wouldn’t leave her on the curb to fend for herself but would they actually let her live with them in general?

In these cases when a “villain” or new mystery character shows up and joins team good guys, they usually stay in a separate part of the house or the outskirts of the town/city our heroes reside in. Off screen and distant from the others and their adventures.

Ford from Gravity Falls stayed in the basement of the mystery shack when brought back from the portal.

Lapis and Peridot from Steven Universe stayed in a barn on the outskirts of beach city when they renounced Homeworld.

All easy places to reach for the main heroes but not so close by that it effects their overall daily routine and lives.

Which brings me back to Lilith. Will they do the same thing with her? Give her her own secluded space to live?

Cause honestly I can’t see her just living with the gang. I don’t think the Owl House creators would mess up the already perfect dynamic/small family consisting of Luz, Eda, and King.

I also don’t think they’ll just have her stay in a room in the Owl House never to be seen on screen. At least I don’t THINK they would.

Is there even enough rooms in the Owl House? 🤔 hmm.

Anyway! So with all these thoughts on where Lilith might stay if she were to live in the Owl House my eyes picked up on something in the background of said Owl House

It looks like a broken lighthouse. Some kind of tower. Honestly I forgot that thing was back there. Is that a part of the Owl House? Is that Eda’s property or was it already there abandoned when Eda built the Owl House? I don’t see any other houses around so it doesn’t look like it belongs to anyone else.

I don’t know about you guys... but I can see Lilith living there. Well...of course it might need to be fixed up and furnished. But I can definitely see Lilith making it her own. A secluded place where she can just look out the view and think about things. And honestly, she needs that.

Because just thinking about it, Lilith has been through A LOT. Granted, I know she got herself into those said situations she still went through a lot none the less and a lot has just recently changed.

Shes no longer the Emperor Covens leader. The life she has been living for decades is no more. No Emperor to listen to and she is now an outlaw of the entire Boiling Isles.

It’s a brand new life and she has a long redemption journey to go on. She’s going to need a place where she can gather her thoughts and think about what her next move is.

Maybe it can even be a place she can also train Amity. Or someplace Amity can stay if things with her parents start getting complicated.

Either way Lilith needs a home. She has her own life and own journey to go through. Whether that place will be with Eda in the Owl House or not is yet to be seen. All I know is I’m looking forward to seeing where our newest Owl Lady’s future is heading.

Anyway! This was a lot longer than I wanted it to be. I guess like many of you, I’m already having withdrawals of being without the Owl House for awhile lol AND ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS.

You can’t blame me though. It’s a show worth obsessing over. And with so many changes and battles still left to fight, you can understand why a lot of us want to know what happens next.

[moondrop04]

RWBY VOLUME 8 EPISODE 7 SPECULATION AFTERMATH!!!

SPOILERS!!!

SPOILERS!!!

SPOILERS!!!

Hello Hello Hello!!! XD Another Week........and the last episode of RWBY before the hiatus is out!!!! Sorry I am late AGAIN (busy with work) but let’s dive right in and see what I got RIGHT and what I Definetly got WRONG from my Speculation post!!

-Sigh.........I got everything wrong in my speculation post 😑.......ya know....stuff like this can make someone wonder what is even the point of writing. Like.....you can write whateeeeever you think is going to happen, from theories you have thought about for months or speculations you made after an episode airs....only to find out NONE of them becomes true. Revelations like this can make just about anyone bitter.......angry even, towards the creators who make the things you love just because they didn’t do the things you wanted to happen.....to what “I” wanted to happen. You know what I have to say about that.......I Don’t Give A S*** I Was Wrong, I STILL LOVE RWBY!!! 😤 I can make a million theories and speculations that could be right or wrong but at the end of the day RWBY is still one of the rare few series that can make my imagination go WILD!!! 😆.....(not like that you perverted F***s 🤨) So what I am trying to say is that I was HORRIBLY WRONG AGAIN, but I STILL LOVED THE EPISODE!!!! Here my thoughts about it.......

-(Salem) Ok......i’ll be honest....I was really disappointed with Salem’s small involvement in the episode 😔. I was really hoping we could finally see how she fights on her own but I have to understand that there is more within the plot that needs to be shown then my selfish desire of seeing Salem kicking some ass 😓. The only positive thing I can take away from this small scene is that it confirmed what I always thought.....that Salem is the kind of woman dramatic enough to cause about a catastrophe and play about as if it were her own Orchestra lol XD. Oh! And tremendous work from CRWBY with the set up of the battlefield between the Grimm and Ironwood’s forces. I was amazed by the incredible number of character models that was placed within the episode to showcase the large scale of the battle between two great forces and I can’t wait to see how much more CRWBY could do in the future battles!

-(Oscar/Ozpin & Hazel) I more or less thought that this would be the direction that Ozpin would take to try and reason with Hazel (revealing Salem’s curse origins) but I didn’t expect for Oscar to reveal jinn’s name to him to get him to listen 🤔. Now while I do understand that this may prove beneficial for Oscar and Hazel’s future trust with one another, I still feel like it may not be the right time for Hazel to switch sides just yet story wise. I think Hazel will still be under Salem’s command by the end of the season but there’s no doubt that Oscar will make Hazel begin to question Salem’s plans and agenda for gathering the relics.

-(Emerald, Mercury & Tyrian) Hmmm I have been thinking about it and I also think it would be a good idea if Emerald would be the one to ask the last question to Jinn, considering that the two share a connection with the tale of Aladdin. The question now is......what will be her question 🤔? I am honestly quite surprised that Mercury and Tyrian are going to Vacuo this early in the volume. From Salem’s standpoint it would make sense to send her followers to the next relic, given that she is nearly about to obtain her second relic within the next few hours. I am a bit disappointed that they are leaving though, especially Tyrian, because i was hoping that there would be a conclusion with his and qrow’s fight in Atlas, given what happened with Clover last volume. I kind of want to hope that they will turn around and return to Atlas near the end of the volume due to Vacuo forces heading it’s way towards Atlas and that they would need to warn Salem, but so far we don’t know if Ruby’s message could convince headmaster Theodore to deploy his huntsmen to fight Salem so we’ll just have to wait and see.

-(May Marigold) Clap...Clap...Clap...👏👏👏 that Scene was......GOOD!!! I am glad for the Trans community to be givin more representation for themselves and I hope the trend will continue on in the future in other prominent series and tv shows.

-(Weiss & Whitely) Ok......as much as this scene between the two siblings warmed my heart, I’m gonna have to play devils advocate and say that I still don’t fully trust Whitley just yet. While this may look like a good direction for Whitley’s character, we still have a long way to go between the whole Schnee family to fully see where Whitley wants to do going forward in his life. So for now I’ll trust that he is doing this “kindness” for Weiss and her friends because he wants to help, but I’ll keep an open mind on what he does in the future. Also BEST DAD KLEIN IS BACK!!!! WOOHOO!!! 😆😆😆

-(Ren & The Ace-Ops) Oh Ren.......while I’m glad to see you evolve your semblance and realize your current “faults” for your character arc this volume.....I can’t help but feel terrible for you for this revelation 😥. With Ren’s new Ability he can now see a person’s current feelings and emotions as if they were different colored petals. With this new found power he was quick to realize the inner turmoil of each member of the Ace-Ops and the storm of emotions within Winter Schnee. But I, as an audience member, was also quick to realize that Ren’s new ability could serve another purpose, specifically for the Shipping fandom.....if Ren is now able to see the feelings of anyone he has his vision set upon, he could easily tell who has feelings of “love” for one another!? For example: if he were see Yang talking with or about Blake for any reason, he would be able to see petals of “love” swirling around her and determine Yang has feelings for Blake. And not just them.....but he could foresee what could potentially be future canon ships down the road for other characters as well!!! Now as well you and I know the shipping fandom can be kind of........crazy🤪, and with this sudden realization Lie Ren has just became the Shipping Community’s messiah of canon ships 😭. Good luck Ren!!! You’ll need it!!! Lol

-(Penny) Alright as heart wrenching that this cliffhanger was....I can’t help but feel that it was too “plot convenient” for Penny to just land exactly where Ruby and her group were hiding out after her downfall from Amity in episode 5 🤨. Maybe before she shut downed she could have tried to alter the course of her landing to land near Ruby’s last coordinates but I have some doubts for that theory 🤔. I don’t know it just felt weird to me lol but despite that this does present an interesting situation because we know Cinder, The Hound and Neo were sent to retrieve Watts to find Penny’s location. So could this mean the long awaited confrontation between Ruby and Cinder is about play out? 😮 I guess we’ll see.....

Overall, despite my personal grievances, the episode was excellent XD and now I am left with the realization that I will have to wait several weeks for the next episode to air......ain’t that a B**** 😑

Quick note: I’m sorry this took so long to post but I have been busy with my 12 hour shift job and it has left me exhausted 🥵. Hope everyone has a merry Christmas and a happy new year!!! 🥳.........plz let it be a good year.....

[gothamangelwings]

Okay, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to say anything about this, but I have to, for my own sanity. Excuse me for my rambling (especially about Castiel) and repeating myself, which I probably will do in this post.

Truth is I only got into Supernatural a little over a year ago. I just kept avoiding it over the years. I think when it was in it’s 7th or 8th season, I thought to myself “oh this should be ending soon. I’ll just wait til its over and watch it then” That did not happen. Jump to last year when I heard about the Scoobynatural episode. I love Scooby so I had to watch. And I loved it. And I really loved Sam and Dean. But I also couldn’t stop thinking about the guy in the trench coat with the deep voice named Castiel. Did very little research to find out he’s an angel. That’s all I wanted to know. Went to netflix and started watching the show from the beginning. By the time I got midway thru season 3 I was hooked. I started buying the dvds in bunches. Watching as much as a I could a week. When I got to season 4 I was Cass on the cover of the boxset and said “that’s him! That’s the angel! He’s in the season!” I actually didn’t know he would show up right in the beginning of the season but when Dean was at that gas station and gas started shattering I thought. That’s him isn’t it? That’s Castiel. Misha’s actual entrance on the show is the best in history. I do love Sam and Dean but I’m not going to lie and pretend like Castiel isn’t my favorite. Because he is. I adore that awkward angel. He is the reason I happily kept watching and brought all the dvds because I knew Misha was still working on the show. He is the reason I will buy season 15. I started shipping Destiel in season 5 but when I re-watched the series (Yes I watched it twice in less than a year. One over a period of several months the other over a few weeks before the show came back after hiatus.) I saw moments in season 4 that i missed the first time around.

So yes this finale makes me cry and not in a good way. although there are a few saving graces.

Let’s begin.

First let me start by saying I do not in any way blame the actors. Especially Jensen. He said he thought the ending was bad and had to be talked into it. Dean/Jensen deserved better. I blame the writers and producers and The CW

Second, repeat after me:

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Now speaking of Castiel, who I mostly want to talk about before addressing the rest of this mess. Castiel/Misha deserved better. There really is no reason Misha couldn’t be in the final episode unless there was something on his end. Although seeing that he recently went to California to shoot a something for Amazon and took West to the Winchester House. He can definitely travel. But if there was some reason on his end, then okay, fine then. However that doesn’t excuse the way the handled his character in these last two episodes.

Yes in 15x19 Dean demands Chuck bring Cass back. Dean remembers Cass’s words when Chuck calls him the ultimate killer. Yes, Dean runs to the door when he thinks Cass has just called him. Instead in was Lucifer. What a slap in the face to the fans and an insult to Misha after that beautiful confession of love.

But the end of the episode. Jack becomes God and no one says “What about Cass?”

Now 15x20. Sam brings up Castiel and Dean is just like “move on“. No, That is not Dean. No matter what Dean cared about Castiel, to the point that being without him in the past led him to depression. i understand he doesn’t want Castiel’s sacrifice to be in vein. But come on. There’s living on and being happy and then there’s acting like the guy didn’t matter. Again, no. That is not Dean. Not after all the development those two have had. I know Dean wasn’t always perfect when it came to Cass but he did care. What happened to “We lost everything. Now you’re going to bring him back” What happened to the purgatory apology and admitting his anger issues. And so much more.

Again Castiel is in heaven. Jack got him out of The Empty. But they could of made it more clear. ( I swear, if they are leaving this up to interpretation....) Because I see so many people who have “conveniently” missed what Bobby said and insist he’s still in The Empty. Or just want to say “well that’s not what he meant. Cas is still dead, he just meant his influence on Jack” or some shit like that.(Now that I think about maybe influence isn’t the right word to use with this fandom lol)

Anyway lets say that Misha could not in anyway be there for filming. YOU CAN STILL ADDRESS HIS CHARACTER PROPERLY AND GIVE HIM A SATISFYING ENDING. In fact you barely have to change the scene between Dean and Bobby just add a few more lines.

Dean: “So Jack did all that?”

Bobby: “Well Cass helped”

Dean: “Wait, Cass is here?!”

Bobby: ‘Yep, Kid got him out.”

Dean: “Well where is he? Can I see him?”

Bobby (smiling): “Now calm down ya idjit. He’ll be back soon. Had some business to take of. But he is planning to stick around here with the rest of us.’

Dean (smiling, happy because he’s getting a second chance): Good. He belongs with us. With me. (takes a drink) It’s just too bad...

Bobby (knowing he’s talking about Sam: “Don’t worry he’ll be here shortly...”

Scene plays out as normal but instead when Sam and Dean are reunited. Dean tells him “Let’s head back, Mom, Dad, Bobby, and Cass are waiting for us. Along with everyone else we loved and lost when we were alive.”

Or... a few scenarios with Castiel there (even for a few moments)

1. When Dean dies (yeah we’ll talk about that) Jack sends down Cass to take him to heaven. Dean leaves his body. Watches as Sam falls apart and then hears “Hello Dean” turns and there’s Cass to guide him to heaven and also let him know Sam will be okay and will live a happy life”

2. The scene with Bobby starts the way it did but instead after he says “Well Cass helped” he points behind Dean.

Cass: “Hello Dean.”

Dean: “Cas! Aw, it’s good to see you. You have no idea.”

They embrace. Maybe the say something about the confession maybe they don’t but at least they’re together and we know that they have time to talk.

Episode continues as it did but again Dean tells Sam that Castiel is here waiting for them.

3. Episode plays exactly as it did. Except at the very end after Sam and Dean reunite on the bridge...

Cass: “Hello Dean. Hello Sam”

Both: Cass!

The three hug. Dean a bit longer.

Dean: “Well look at that. Team Free Will back together again. This time forever.”

In any scenario Castiel is living in heaven with the boys. Him and Dean eventually talk about what happened. In my canon Dean returns his feelings but even if he can’t it’s okay because Dean does care about Cass. And Castiel’s happiness was just in being able to say it. Either way they’re together along with everyone else they love and will be waiting for those who haven’t arrived yet.

Also Cass finally gets his guinea pig. Because he deserves it.

ONCE AGAIN, EVEN IF MISHA COULDN’T BE THERE. THERE WERE STILL BETTER WAYS TO HANDLE THIS ENDING! OH AND THERE BETTER NOT BE SOME LAME ASS THING LIKE ‘HE’S IN HEAVEN WORKING WITH JACK BUT ISN’T ALLOWED HERE BECAUSE THE NEW GOD LIKES TO KEEP ANGELS SEPARATE FROM THE REST OF US’

NO. CASTIEL IS DEFINITELY WITH DEAN IN HEAVEN. END OF STORY.

Moving on the other problems which I won’t go into full detail in like I did Castiel.

Dean’s death. The ever loving fuck was that? A nail?! I get that they finally get to call the shots in there own lives now but come on! A nail. And this is what a few weeks after defeating Chuck. Who, if he wants to can have a happy life. You know when Cass heard about this he rolled his eyes. Like “Really?!”

Ewwww that forehead touch. I know for most people it’s just a sweet final moment between two siblings as one dies. But we all know this is fuel for the Winc*sters and b*bros. I mean come on now. You’re afraid to have Dean even acknowledge Castiel’s feelings but a forehead touch that can and will be taken out of context as romantic between two brothers is fine and dandy. I was watching this with my Mom and even she was like “That forehead touch,,, why.. just why...”

Funny thing about my Mom. (Sorry not sorry going back to talk about Cass for a moment) She has been watching SPN with me this year but honestly only (not even) half paid attention. She has a habit of always looking at her phone even when it’s something she wants to watch. Two weeks ago after 15X18 I asked “Do you believe Cass’s confession was romantic?”

Her response. “No, they’re just friends. Angels aren’t supposed to feel romantic love.’ We get into a small argument.

A few days later...

Me: “Misha confirmed it was romantic.”

Mom: “Oh, well that settles it then. I just was taught that angels didn’t feel that kind of love.”

Me: “Yeah but your forgetting a few things. 1. Cass isn’t like other angels and 2. This is a fictional tv show not the actual bible.

Mom laughs: “Good point, Guess I didn’t think about that.”

Me: “Y’know people are actually saying  that Cass can’t be gay or bi because Dean isn’t.”

Mom: “That’s stupid. One has nothing to do with the other. Even if Dean doesn’t feel the same way that doesn’t change Castiel’s feelings.”

Jump to the last few days.

Mom: “Cass is going to show up in the finale. He and Dean will be reunited! Maybe he’s one of those people in the masks being controlled by The Empty. Or maybe there will be a scene in the barn where Dean is on the ground about to be stabbed and Cass saves him in the knick of time!”

Mom after the finale: “That was terrible. Very disappointed. They really couldn’t get Misha for few minutes. They better not use covid as an excuse with all those people on that bridge. Everything about this episode felt wrong” (she said that about 15x19 too). (Grabs her phone to look at twitter) “Misha is crying. This episode doesn’t deserve pie.”

We brought pie. We did not eat it.

Moving on.. .yeah yeah the wig on Jared was awful. But who cares. What I want to know is who is the mother? Is it Eileen? I hope it’s Eileen. It better be Eileen.

The barn. Why? Why that barn? Did they really think no one would notice. I get reusing sets and locations as completely different places. But that just hurt.

Did we need so many songs with no dialogue being spoken. I mean yes Carry On was a must have but so much time could’ve been spent talking about other characters during the other songs .

And again why are they trying to make Dean look bad. It’s not his/Jensen’s fault it’s the horrible writing of these final two episodes. Why did they not take to opportunity to talk about Castiel’s confession. Yes I’m  back on Cas again. I warned you. Also he’s probably the main reason you’re reading this anyway, so yeah...

I would like to believe a conversation happened off screen but the way Sam and Dean acted it doesn’t seem like it.

Again would it be so hard. Two scenarios

1.

Dean: “Before Cass got dragged into the Empty he told me...

Sam: :Told you what?”

Dean: He told me... he told me he loved me.”

Sam (smiling): “That’s not news Dean,”

Dean: “No Sammy. He really loved me... like... you know..”

Sam: “Again, not news Dean. How do you feel? “

Dean (hesitates): “ I think... no, I know I love him too. He’s the only man I’ll ever love.”

Sam: “Well you know technically Cass really isn’t male... so...

Dean: “Oh please Sammy. Could you imagine Cass in any other body? Especially a chicks. It would be so weird.”

Sam: “Good point.”

Dean: “Besides, he was perfect the way he was.”

2.

Dean: “Before Cass got dragged into the Empty he told me...

Sam: :Told you what?

”Dean: He told me... he told me he loved me.”

Sam (smiling): “That’s not news Dean,”

Dean: “No Sammy. He really loved me... like... you know..”

Sam: “Again, not news Dean. How do you feel? “

Dean: “I can’t return his feelings. I see him as a man and you know I’m attracted to women.”

Sam: “Alright then.”

Dean. “But y’know...”

Sam: “Hmmm?”

Dean: “I still miss him. I wish he was here with us.”

There were so many easy ways to fix this and they did nothing. Did they not think 15x18 would have a huge impact. I really hope the writers are kicking themselves for this. Funny, by ignoring Castiel and his feelings they actually brought more attention and love to him and Misha.

I really don’t know if a rewrite and reshoot for the dvd release is possible. Has that ever been done, I feel like it has but I’m not sure. But if it is. Fix it. It only took a few weeks to film these last two episodes. I’m sure all the actors can come back to film for a few weeks. Once there are less Covid restrictions of courses. I know there’s been talk about a possible movie. That could fix it. As long as they bring back the angel in the trench coat. Or how about a bonus episode for the dvd 15x21 where everyone is gathered in heaven. Sam, Dean, Cass, Bobby, Mary, John, Kevin, Charlie, Eileen, Jo, Ellen, Pam. Even Crowley and Rowena because why not. Oooh and Meg too because she did sacrifice herself for them and also I just love her.  Anyway they all gather and talk about old times. Perfect excuse for an old fashion clip show. Funny/heartwarming banter in between. Make Destiel canon at the end. Another possible way to fix it is do a comic book season or even just a few issues to flesh out the ending in heaven. Just fix it.

At least we have fanfiction.

If there are any positives to take away it’s this:

1: Castiel is in heaven with Dean. They are together. They have a second chance.

2. It was said only 30% of the fanbase would like this ending. Like many people I assumed that meant a Destiel ending. Cause I thought out of the whole fanbase shippers were in the minority. Nope turns of the the Winc*sters/B*bros are the 30%. Destiel fans, Cass fans, Misha fans are part of the 70% who hate this. Though why you would want to only please 30% of your fanbase is beyond me.

3. Sam was able to live a long happy life without being codependent on his brother.

I absolutely hated the last two episodes and how this show ended. Again the only saving grace is knowing Jack got Castiel out of The Empty and he and Dean reunited in heaven. But no matter how much I hated 99% of the ending. I still love this show and all it’s characters. I will happily go back and watch it over again to relive the good, funny, sad, bittersweet moments. The final 90 minutes of the series is not going to ruin that for me. I love Sam and Dean but Castiel is my favorite and I will happily go back and enjoy everything about his character. I am not going  to let this ruin Supernatural for me. Next summer I am going to my first SPN Convention and I can’t wait. I may have only discovered the greatness of Supernatural a year ago after avoiding it for so long but I want it to stay apart of my life. Like I said I only got into Supernatural a little over a year ago but this hurt my heart so much I only imagine how those of your who’ve been here for over a decade feel.

I know this was very, very long and I probably actually forgot some things I wanted to say. But I’m tired.

Cass and Dean are in heaven together. I believe they are canon 💙💚

[good-enemy]

im. a bit confused about the loona pairs in these teasers are these the mirrors we’ve been theorising about the whole time?

- choerry and hyunjin i get. obv. they led with choerry and hyunjin right? probably bc everyone already knows the connection bc theyve been highlighting it the entire time lol. hyunjins link to oec (primary colours), choerry acting as her replacement in oec? kind of? like a version of hyunjin that jinsoul and kim lip created? maybe? and then choerry took hyunjins place in that version of love and live and so what showed them as twins and maybe theyre supposed to be the same person. or maybe theyre just besties who knows anyway

- i think olivia and heejin were next and theyre obvious too the first and last girl and then they meet on the roof in egoist and its like the loonaverse/mobius strip has come full circle or whatever but also im pretty sure theyre both the closest things to deities the loonaverse has like heejin was the first girl the founder, i think she invented colour? thats heavily implied in vivid anyway and then olivia maybe invented darkness?? or something idk im pretty sure shes got something funky going on bc nobody else has random laser eyes (also when are THEY making a comeback) and if yves and/or jinsoul truly are the loonaverse’s villains well then theyre both working against olivia right so that would make her..the loonaverse’s saviour??? mirroring its founder?

- chuu and haseul are both the December Girls TM and both the powerhouse vocals or whatever so theres an immediate but basic connection but i also think that bit at the end of heart attack was haseul maybe trying to save chuu from yves’ charm but she was too late, bc werent chuu and gowon the ones to tempt hyunjin away from her oec duties or whatever with the bracelet (im going to circle back to oec they are objectively the coolest part of the loonaverse) meaning that chuu and gowon dont actually have access to 1/3 world/plane/whatever you want to call it or i think they would have been a bit more direct about it bc that was obviously yves’ idea, chuu and gowon are not portrayed as cunning enough to come up with something like that imo, and anyway obviously haseul is in 1/3 world so i wonder if the connection between chuu and 1/3 world was about to be lost and that was haseul trying to hold on and pull her back? also i think most orbits think that all the girls started off in eden and branched out but i think they actually started off in 1/3 world, like the normal world where heejin/god wants everyone to be, and got lost for various reasons but im less sure about that. 

- yves and jinsoul both radiate pretty sinister energy i mean jinsoul is always randomly showing up and giving off a weird vibe (a. why was she following vivi around hong kong b. kidnapping choerry with the cherry cake?? c. egoist. what d. why not when shes just lurking on the corner in the phone booth. also sweet crazy love implies that she got her odd eye first since kim lip and choerry are walking around with their eyes starting to hurt but jinsoul has already been to the optometrist, and then she can teleport so she can show up basically anywhere and just do what shes gotta do to be evil or whatever) and then yves is pretty explicitly and literally a snake in the grass, breaking out of eden which im pretty sure is supposed to be purgatory, which would mean that waiting it out and getting the approval of the teacher at the end as olivia did is what youre supposed to do but yves was rebellious/impatient and just took the sneaky back way out except then she ended up getting lost in the forest with chuu and gowon (which begs the question of what exactly happened to yeojin because they were very vague about that) (and also what the forest is supposed to represent? hell? in that case where are odd eye circle? because if heejin is god that would imply 1/3 world is heaven? are odd eye circle in the land of the living? did...bbc kill off loona) anyway that was rambly but chuu and gowon are clearly living their best lives in 1/3 world/heaven/whatever because of a. the haseul thing and b. gowon is clearly going through some kind of transitional state where the shadow/blonde gowon are gowon from another plane (or the future? because if its ‘gowon from another plane’ that implies two gowons) and i dont think shes coming from oec world or shed have an odd eye so she must be coming from 1/3 world but i dont think theres actually any proof of that other than the process of elimination...unless chuu and gowon knowing where to send the bracelet to hyunjin required them having some memory of where 1/3 world was thus implying they both came from there? anyway so they were probably in heaven/angels? they do wear white in hi high, but then in love4eva and butterfly promo pics they wear black maybe suggesting theyre fallen angels? and the reason theyve fallen is yves tempting them, i think yves is absolutely the devil of the situation if heejin is god, im not sure what that makes jinsoul but shes definitely sus

- this is where im getting confused though because i dont really understand what the immediate gowon-vivi and yeojin-kim lip links are? with gowon and vivi i think theyve both been manipulated by yves and realised their mistake when its been too late (vivi becoming a robot, maybe through some kind of bargain yves made with olivia to sacrifice vivi to save herself or something? bc yves and vivi would have been the original troublecausers together so maybe yves spun some kind of sob story to olivia so that olivia would kill vivi and spare yves and then heejin intervened and turned her into a robot temporarily.. man idk and then gowon seems to regret her choice the second she leaves eden (looking back at olivia/hesitating to eat the rose) but she has to just shut up and go along with it i guess) but by that logic you could probably link vivi gowon chuu and maybe olivia and choerry and maybe even jinsoul all together bc hasnt yves screwed basically everyone over? so im not totally sure how they mirror each other exactly, and then im totally lost on yeojin and kim lip. theyre both warm colours? unless their thing is that theyve both been separated from their group within the loonaverse? bc yeojins group was her haseul and choerry, and then choerry was taken to oec world and i guess replaced with hyunjin(/heejin to an extent but it seems like shes everywhere all the time) and kim lips group was her jinsoul and hyunjin, then hyunjin was taken to 1/3 world and replaced with choerry, so theres that link but that doesnt necessarily link yeojin and kim lip specifically bc haseul and jinsoul are also involved but then if it turns out jinsoul is evil and teleporting all over the place with her evil schemes, and i dont get that same vibe from kim lip so maybe its..betrayal? bc with yeojin, i think haseul may have been being chased by her bird self or something, or held hostage maybe? im hoping the bird haseul will come into the lore explanation for why shes been gone (bc im pretty sure theyll work the hiatus into the lore somehow, it would be weird if they didnt imo) anyway so if haseul left yeojin bc of the bird thing and yeojin didnt know about the bird then maybe she would feel betrayed by that...also i thought of this as i was typing but i think kim lip and yeojin have both been lost in the forest due to the actions of their supposed best friends (in the lore) because i think haseul getting kidnapped by the bird or whatever left yeojin on her own and left her susceptible to however one would get lured into the forest...actually if the forest is indeed hell then i just came up with a bit of an uncomfortable and upsetting explanation for that, maybe if being all alone and/or being chased by the frog drove her to, u know, then maybe thats how she ended up there, and then with kim lip i think jinsoul put her there actually. i dont know why but its Something Nefarious i bet

- which then begs the question of what is going to happen this era?? we left off with the girls completing the ritual to turn back time and presumably get haseul back but that opens so many doors? will vivi turn back into a robot? will eden be reinstated? will yeojin be back in the forest? with how jinsoul was lurking around and never really coming out of the dark/hiding in why not, im pretty sure shes got something up her sleeve... odd eye circle could come back properly in some form or another but maybe with jinsoul controlling the other two (if she wasnt already)? also while im on the subject, what are odd eye circle actually doing? who are they? ive always fondly thought of them as a witch coven but..are they actually a witch coven? something to do with the power of three and thats why they had to kidnap choerry? i know theyre looking for the other girls but what for? if they were alive and the other girls were..less so, were they maybe trying to summon them to the land of the living?

- also...i hope yeojins frog man makes a reappearance