#not everything has to be a brilliant deep thinking masterpiece!

[borealing]

the thing about bridgerton is that its kinda contrived and bad but its also very compelling. and thats fun.

[mango-yoyo]

I'm new here, I've been reading Lance fics and I love them, but it broke my heart to see a writer my friends recommended, and I looked her up on here and she was hating Lance for some rumors that turned out to be false, my friends investigated a lot about it, and seeing how she talks about him, and that she believed in them when Lance has proven to be a good person, it really made me disappointed and broke my heart, it seems like she was never a real fan.

What fics do you recommend I read?

hi!!

first of all i'm sorry it took me so long to answer this. it always sucks when somebody you thought was super cool turns out to dislike your guy :(( but we have a thriving lance nation here, and lots of lance love to spread!!

in terms of fic recs:

moth to the flame by @pitconfirm. it's absolutely delightful and awkward and a character study in the best of ways. it's a consideration of relationships and vulnerability and i feel like it is SUCH an important lance piece. also. rare pair! status: completed. rating: M. word count: 4.8K

a gentle hand by zeolyte. featuring lance's canonical praise kink and desperate need to be Good, it's strollonso getting together in the most strollonso way possible: sex, misunderstandings, and more sex <3 very sweet and it has a happy ending! status: completed. rating: E. word count: 3.5K

monsoon by @fractalkiss. non-linear narrative and Complicated Relationships. i found it super fascinating, like taking a deep dive into lance's mind. also a lot about lance's relationships with the older drivers... ough it's complex in the best of ways. endless possibilities and strollonso. status: completed. rating: M. word count: 4K

finger trap by @rivalism. one of my first glance fics and it has since cemented itself as one of the hall-of-famers. lance through the eyes of george, and everything it entails, the contrast between them, the struggle of winning the battle just to lose the war (is it even a win if the other person isn't even aware it's a competition?). status: completed. rating: M. word count: 1.3K

sweet disposition (series) by @userkritaaay. i MUST recommend this whole series, it's insane. more glance, another one of the greats. featuring assumptions being shattered and relationships being formed and twisted and rebuilt again. it's more of lance through the eyes of george, but i still count it, simply because of the way everything is a study and an answer in one. absolutely brilliant. status: completed. rating: M. word count: 18.2K

comfy and cosy are we (snuggled up together) by @babycatgirlboy. this one was so cute and so indulgent. a comfy and cosy (very aptly named) holiday fic, featuring seblance and a sweet relationship <3 status: completed. rating: M. word count: 4.5K

the art of tender loving by anon. also aptly named, it's a wingfic (idk about you but i'm a SUCKER for them), featuring lance's broken wrists as a very handy plot device and the intimacy of grooming. i love the strollonso development, and it really captures the stages of falling in love, i think. status: completed. rating: NR. word count: 6K

for it is in giving that we receive by @f1ugmodus. another delight. very introspective, and the sort of developing relationships (lesteban!!) that make me shiver and kick my feet. it has a wonderful tone, sweet and bittersweet at the same time, and really thinks about love languages and how we give and receive love. status: completed. rating: T. word count: 4.8K

bowerbird by @wewentcarracing. another masterpiece that (very politely) devastated me. shy animal courting rituals INDEED. strollonso, and it's so emotionally deep. you can feel the uncertainty, the give and push that only comes from forming new relationships with history both known and unknown and an investment that can bring lesser people to their knees. so melancholy, so sweet, and a wonderfully hopeful ending. delightful. status: completed. rating: T. word count: 11.4K

maybe we got lost (in translation) by @alpinelogy. less lance and more lesteban, but an ode and a character study all the same. it explores lance and esteban meeting, growing up, and growing together in the best possible ways. friends to lovers personified. status: completed. rating: T. word count: 6.7K

there are so many more wonderful lance fics, with so many talented lance authors, and it was a real struggle to cap it to just 10. i hope you enjoy reading, and feel free to rec more fics from me!!

[henley-reeves]

"Wild Blue Yonder" is such a phenomenal episode and it instantly became one of the best DW episodes for a simple reason that it combines all the best aspects of Doctor Who AND it is a combination of genres AND it is entirely character driven and atmospheric.

This episode is everything - comedy, drama, horror, mystery, psychological thriller and sci-fi adventure.

It relies entirely on atmospherics and character dynamic.

They really put two brilliant actors and let them shine and give everything they got in so many different genres.

There were silly comedic moments

Heart-wrenching dramatic moments

Terrifying and bone-chilling moments

But the true testament to the acting talent of David Tennant and Catherine Tate was that the episode had only 2 actors in it and 4 characters. But it truly felt like there were 4 different people in the episode. And the task was not easy. These were Doctor and Donna but not quite Doctor and Donna. Like Donna said "The Devil's in the details". It was all in the voice, the stare, the posture, the mannerisms that made these creatures of nightmares so terrifying, because they had the essence of the Doctor and Donna but had it so horribly distorted and twisted and not right at the same time!

And the fact that David and Catherine delivered such a nuanced performance that captured these details so flawlessly deserves all the awards!

The episode is driven by themes and motifs - fear of being known, fear of the unknown and unexplained, fear of being misunderstood, abandoned, not good enough, fear of someone you love not understanding or truly knowing you. The plot also provides individual character development and exploration of relationship between the Doctor and Donna who have not seen each other in years, who are so close and yet were separated by time and space for ages and have changed so much during that time, that neither of them is the same but desperately want to be seen the same way as they used to be by each other. It is also nostalgia and desire for things to be exactly like they used to be.

What can be scarier than monsters who have no physical form or visual manifestation, who steal your personality and bear your face but distort them in the most horrific ways both literally and figuratively? What is scarier than something that has a conscience but can not be seen or touched or categorized? What is scarier than something that can exploit your fears and insecurities and turn them against you?

"Wild Blue Yonder" creates an atmosphere that immerses you in that world which is both a confined space but also the endless dark nothingness, makes you scared, sad, makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you think how the fictitious horrors of this episode are driven almost entirely by the very human fears of the unknown and being known at the same time. "Wild Blue Yonder" is a masterpiece of acting and storytelling and that's what makes this episode stand out as such a brilliant story! Doctor Who can be silly AND deep at the same time, and when it happens, it is absolutely fantastic!

[fervi-g]

Best twin peaks season in ur opinion

I’d say my favorite season is the third one — The Return. It’s a difficult question, because I love all three in different ways, but The Return mmhm there’s just nothing else like it. The idea of coming back 25 years later — as the show itself announces — and choosing not to indulge in nostalgia but to completely subvert it, that’s genius to me. Lynch and Frost could’ve easily given people what they expected: another quirky mystery in town, Cooper investigating a new crime, the same familiar tone. But they didn’t go for the easy way. If they were coming back to Twin Peaks, it had to be to revolutionize television again, just like they did in the ’90s. And I truly think they did.

They chose to challenge everything. They made something darker, colder, stranger and far more ambitious. Those 18 hours are some of the most important and brilliant ever created for any screen. What other show dares to be that abstract, that patient, that unsettling? Episode 8 alone is a landmark. And the way Lynch embraces digital — the textures, the colors, the eerie stillness — it’s masterful. The shift in aesthetic from the cozy warmth of the original series to this electric, disorienting modernity is one of the boldest creative decisions I’ve ever seen. He uses digital in a way that very few artists have mastered in the 21st century.

And I don’t think anything has ever affected me more than that final scene. It has haunted me ever since I watched it.

That said, I also have a deep love for the first season. It’s a comfort place for me. I enjoy every single rewatch: the introduction to the town, the characters, the atmosphere... it’s simply magical. Season two probably has the majority of the best episodes in the whole show, but also the worst. There’s a long stretch in the middle that’s genuinely tough to get through, and yet I’m fond of that too. I think even that is part of the Twin Peaks experience.

Still, the bravery, reinvention, and refusal to play it safe that Lynch and Frost achieved with The Return is legendary. No one had ever used the format of television the way they did. It’s auteur filmmaking, week by week. And to me, that’s the greatest thing ever created in any medium. So yes — season three is my favorite. It reinvented what television could be. A complete masterpiece.

[starlit-selkie]

Namielle Marine Biology Post

Hello fellow hunters!!!

I’ve been wanting to rant about this for a little while so I’m doing it to all of you :D!

This post is gonna be about the elder dragon Namielle, and why she’s just an absolute masterpiece of a design for a sea related dragon.

As a zoology student who’s hoping to work in marine biology, Namielle immediately stuck out to me. I’m always a fan of deep sea based designs, but namielle was different because of how *real* all of her little adaptations felt. It felt to me like the team that designed her didn’t just slap colors and lights on her wherever, but took the time to understand why deep sea animals have the adaptations that they do, and to think about how that would apply to this creature. This isn’t a post that’s entirely about in-universe ecology of namielle, as monster-huntologist has already done a brilliant post on that, but instead it’ll be about various design elements on namielle, the creatures I think they’re inspired by, and how those adaptations work. This is going to be an incredibly long post, but I hope it’s interesting to y’all and that you maybe learn something new from it! So let’s get into it!

A quick disclaimer that I make no claim to be an expert in marine biology. I’m just passionate about it, and I’m not a professional yet. Plus, the nature of science is that we never really know everything, especially not for certain, so this information might become out of date or just be flat out wrong.

I’m going off of the assumption that Namielle is able to live both underwater and on land. We fight her in the coral highlands, but she has so many sea-specific adaptations that it’s hard for me to believe she’s purely a land dwelling creature. Perhaps there’s access to the sea somewhere in the lower coral highlands (assuming the highlands is bigger than the area we can access in game) or near the vale, or there’s underground water. For living on land, I’m going to assume that either she’s able to use the same system that allows her to contain water for attacks for breathing on land, that she has lungs as well as gills, or that elder dragons can just live wherever the hell they want.

I’m also applying the logic of “fuck it, it’s an elder dragon” to how namielle can exist in these environments that have wildly different pressures, since the coral highlands is, well, a highlands, and the deep sea is very high pressure. It’s an elder dragon, don’t worry about how it can just ignore pressure I guess. Anyways, on to things I *can* somewhat explain.

First, we’ll start with her body coloration. The dorsal (top/back) side of her body is black, and the ventral (bottom/belly) side of her body is paler. This is a type of camouflage called *counter-shading*. It’s exhibited by a ton of sea creatures, like orcas and various porpoises/dolphins, sharks, manta rays, and many more! the way it functions is simple but incredibly effective. Let’s say you were swimming in the ocean, and a Namielle was directly below you. As you look down, you only see the dorsal (back) side of her body, so it’s a black shape against the dark water below you. If you were directly below her, you’d see her ventral side, so a pale blue against the light water above you. Here’s a couple of drawings I did to help explain this (I did these in like 5 minutes, I’m fully aware that they’re absolute garbage lol)

Similarly, all of the lights on Namielle are on the underside of her body. This allows her to use another form of camouflage called counter-illumination, which species like squids and various fish exhibit as well. When seen from below, the lights would help merge her shape with the light scattering through the water above the prey. This would be especially effective when the namielle is in an enraged state, when the entire underside of the wings light up in ripple-like patterns. This picture from Wikipedia shows the general idea of this method.

Let’s talk a little bit more about those lights. Bioluminescence is quite common in deep sea animals, and for a wide variety of speculated reasons. The lights on Namielle closely resemble that of a comb jelly, which is a fascinating group of ctenophores (so not a true jellyfish, just related to them!) Though in the case of some comb jellies, they aren’t actually bioluminescent, but rather the comb rows within their body are incredibly reflective and scatter light like a prism as they move in the water. Since namielle has this effect on land, and we can see it happen in the dark, I’m pretty sure she is actually bioluminescent, but I could be wrong. The cells that would create this effect are called photocytes, and in ctenophores they often use calcium to activate specific proteins called photoproteins in order to generate light.

There’s a whole bunch of reasons why namielle could have these lights. They provide some counter illumination as mentioned earlier, but that’s almost certainly not the only reason. Namielle could use them for communication with other members of the species, since having specific patterns of lights would make finding each other easier in the complete and utter blackness of the deep ocean. Namielles could also use these lights like an anglerfish to lure in prey. Judging by their size, I’m going to assume that the namielle primarily eats fish or other similarly sized prey. Hell, they probably also can hunt on land, as food in the deep sea can get pretty scarce sometimes.

Let’s talk about namielle’s beautiful face for a bit. The shape of her head is quite flat, with the points on the sides of her head reminding me somewhat of a hammerhead shark. Her eyes are quite small, so I think that underwater she hunts primarily with other senses. Since she’s also able to live on land, I’ll assume that she does have good eyesight in both land and water, but other senses serve better in the darkest areas. It’s possible that she has organs similar to a shark’s ampullae of lorenzini, which are pores located on the snout of the shark that allow them to sense electromagnetic fields. Her long whiskers may also be used to hunt prey, similar to the vibrissae of a seal. In seals, their whiskers are so sensitive that they can catch prey just fine with little to no eyesight, it’s a really interesting adaptation that I definitely recommend reading more about if you’re curious. Back to namielle, she has a wide mouth with very interesting teeth. She seems to have two rows of teeth, so she might be constantly losing and regrowing teeth like a shark. The needle-like shape suggests that they primarily are used for ripping and shredding meat. An interesting detail I noticed is that her teeth are sort of transparent, which is a trait real deep sea creatures have. Take the dragonfish for example, its teeth are very similar to namielle’s. While it’s not been studied quite as much as I’d hoped, biologists have determined that the structure of the teeth is what makes it transparent. Their teeth lack structures called dentin tubules that are what normally give teeth their color, and also contain nanocrystal structures that most animals don’t have in their teeth. It’s theorized that their teeth are transparent for camouflage reasons, since bright white teeth would stand out against a black colored animal, potentially giving them away. Also credit to u/vers_first on Reddit for this absolutely hilarious screenshot that perfectly shows off her lovely teeth.

Another notable feature is the red coloration. Color is difficult to see underwater, since the wavelengths get absorbed by the water. Red is the first color to disappear, becoming dull grey at around 15-20 feet below the surface depending on water conditions. The amount of red coloration on namielle’s body, like on the wings and head, mean that when submerged in water namielle can become nearly invisible, only the blue/white and black on her body visible enough to be used for camouflage, as well as the lights. This image from the official artworks is a pretty good representation of what a namielle would look like while glowing and below ~20 feet of water. As you can see, it basically just disappears except for the lights.

Namielle is able to store water within its body, and likely mix it with saliva or mucus to produce the slime that they shoot when threatened or hunting. This likely isn’t something that namielle can do indefinitely, it’d probably need to drink lots of water to maintain this on land, and in the sea it’d get its water supply from the food that it eats. In fact, while I was reviewing my footage of namielle, I noticed that I seem to have caught her drinking/absorbing water from the blue sponge corals in the highlands!

Though, it’s likely that it doesn’t use the slime when in the sea, since goo projectiles don’t work super well underwater. It’s likely that she uses another specialization to hunt when under water: electricity!

Those who have dived into the world of monster hunter ecology likely know about the theory that thunder element is very risky for monsters to use since our nervous systems run on electricity and generally don’t react well to more of it, and that most monsters that do use electricity either have adaptations to protect themselves (like khezu using their tail to ground their bodies, or astalos being adapted to just continue to function with high amounts of their piezoelectricity shocking themselves) or by not actually generating electricity within their bodies (like zinogre’s symbiotic relationship with thunderbugs, or tobi-kadachi generating static forces in its fur)

This isn’t the case with namielle, as being an elder dragon means it can basically do whatever it wants. Namielle canonically has a special organ within its body that creates electric charge. I’m going to assume that this functions similarly to an electric eel. Those guys have special disc shaped cells called electroplaques that produce charges, which are released when a specific neurotransmitter is produced. More specifically, the nerve terminals on the organ create transient paths for the electricity that connect the inside and the outside of the cells, turning each individual cell into a miniature battery. These batteries all activate each other in a cascading effect, producing a shock in just nanoseconds. But you may be wondering why these eels (and thus namielle) don’t just fry their own nervous system with all this electricity. Truth is, we aren’t entirely sure how they don’t, but here’s what we do know. The electric cells are structured inside the body in such a way as to create a parallel circuit that is separated from important organs such as the heart and the brain, which significantly reduces the danger. They also don’t shock randomly, only when they need to. They can also shift their bodies to prevent just nailing their heart with the electric current. However, they likely feel something when they discharge a shock, since they have electroreceptors and contract their muscles when they shock something. Taking a look at the namielle armor, it has 15 thunder resistance. To me, this says that namielle has adapted to have some kind of insulation within their body that lessens the shock to their own systems when they use these electrical abilities.

Let’s talk about the wings now.

Namielle’s wings are made up of a membrane connected to its tail. The wings are incredibly flexible, so it probably has thin cartilage “finger bones” within the wings, or they have flat sheets of cartilaginous tissue within the wings like a manta ray. It could also be similar to the webbing of a vampire squid, where it has a tentacle structure that’s connected by a membranous web. It actually tucks its wings around itself in a very vampire squid-ish shape, which I thought was pretty neat. The edges of the wings have tentacle like structures, but I’m unsure how prehensile these are.

Namielle seems to have a skeletal structure similar to that of a seahorse, where it is made up of overlapping plates of bony materials beneath the skin rather than the shape that we usually think of as bones being. The seahorse in this image is very dead and has been dried out, which allows us to see the structure of the boney plates while still having skin over them. You can see the resemblance to the seahorse especially on the face and the legs, notice the ridged texture. These bones are very flexible and are able to slide and bend around and against each other, giving the namielle structure and armor. This armor is especially effective against crushing, since the force of a blow is distributed throughout the skeleton. This however is less effective on spots where the bones are smaller and thinner/more spread out, such as the legs, head, and underbelly, hence why those are the main weak spots in addition to breakable wings and a severable tail.

Speaking of the tail, the way it’s connected to the wings suggests to me that it uses is to balance itself in the water, as well as perhaps for steering. This has the advantage of working in both air and water, since flying and swimming are surprisingly similar.

The sounds that namielle makes are very interesting, as they resemble the sounds made by marine mammals like seals, dolphins, and orcas. For neat examples, listen to the spaceship-like sound of an adult weddell seal, as well as various orca calls. Namielle is incredibly intelligent (basically sapient since it’s an elder dragon) and these sounds are likely used for communication.

Overall, namielle is a brilliant example of a fantasy creature that’s designed with a basis in reality, since after all reality is often stranger than fiction.

That’s all I have for now, but if I think of any more details I’ll come back and edit this post. If you have anything to correct or add, please let me know, I’d love to talk about this more!

[kutie106]

Losing my mind over how when the writers gave Jerome #1 a middle name to go by, they made it Eugene. The obvious significance would be that it has the word gene in it as a clever little play on words, but no no it’s so much more than that.

If we break the name into 2 parts, we get Eu and gene. The gene part is obviously self explanatory, but the Eu part is what makes this so genius. The prefix Eu comes from the Ancient Greek language, and is used scientifically to mean good/true (Ex: Eukaryote-true nucleus).

This means that when the names parts are combined, it could be read as “Good gene(s)” or “True gene(s)”. This is freaking brilliant because of what Jerome/Eugene represents. He is the source of these good genes that our protagonist Jerome #2/Vincent needs to fulfill his goals. Without Jerome/Eugene’s good, valid genes, there would be no plot. Not to mention that he is the true Jerome with the true genes, not the pretend one.

Essentially, Eugene’s role in the plot is to lend Vincent the genes he needs. Ignoring all the deeper lessons about fate and eugenics etc, (oh wowie look at that Eugene sounds a lot like eugenics, almost like he is also the peak representation of what the eugenics in the Gattaca society creates further cementing his role in both the plot and themes of the movie wow that’s crazy right)

Anyways back to.. ignoring all the deeper lessons about fate and eugenics etc, He is the validity farm, the plot device that starts the journey and creates the conflict. All with just his genes. His name reflects that; those are his genes, his job. It solidifies his purpose as a storytelling element to the viewers.

Now I know that this is such a small detail, most people wouldn’t even think about it, but the weight of that name carries so much meaning, to his character, to Vincent’s character, to the plot, and to all the crazy deep themes this movie develops. And I know that all this was an intentional choice by the writers because, like, there are so so many other little details that have deeper meanings, or are just references to DNA and genetic code (I’m looking at you spiral staircases, you’re not slick with your single helix over there I know what you are).

Everything in this movie has been thought out, meticulously planned to serve a purpose. the curtains aren’t red just because, they’re red because it symbolizes the lessons the characters have been carrying their whole lives, it symbolizes their emotion, it symbolizes how the society works and how they deal with that. It’s all for a reason. I don’t even know the amount of other hidden references in this movie. Hell, I’ve only watched it once so far, but the amount of thought, planning, and care put into it is something I have genuinely never seen in film before (that’s probably a byproduct of me being like 15 but still).

I truly believe that this film, and what they did with Eugene’s name and who knows what other details, is a cinematic masterpiece, and it will be a guaranteed rewatch. I have no idea how else to close this, so umm thank you for reading the incoherent ramblings of an internet stranger. I would always love to talk more about it if anyone has other observations and stuff!

[beevean]

"NFCV's portrayal of Dracula is a masterpiece, it finally gave depth to the character! His sorrow is sympathetic, he's not just an evil guy for evil guy's sake! He's deep, nuanced!"

Is he? Is he, though?

The more I think about Dracula (the games one obv), the more it angers me how the show treated him. In its best seasons, to boot.

Because yes, they certainly put a lot of focus on his grief, and took care to humanize him. And that's the issue.

The idea, on paper, is wonderful. Dracula is a monster moved by human emotions. He's a danger to the entirety of mankind, God's direct enemy, but at his core, he's a man bereft for the loss of his wives.

The very first episode nailed it! He makes an utterly terrifying entrance in Targoviste, as a pillar of fire threatening the people to move out in a year lest they face his wrath. They don't believe him. He keeps his word. He does not hold back.

And he caps it off with this chilling, yet tragic speech:

Kill everything you see. Kill them all. And once Targoviste has been made into a graveyard for my love, go forth into the country. Go now. Go to all the cities of Wallachia: Arges! Severin! Gresit! Chilia! Enisara! Go now and kill. Kill for my love! Kill for the only true love I ever knew. Kill for the endless lifetime of hate before me.

This is Dracula. This is the Devil himself who is absolutely destroyed by the loss of his love, knows that he will never be able to move on, and by all the forces of Hell, he will make everyone feel his misery.

Season 2, by all means, should have capitalized on this. Imagine the great contrast it would be: one scene shows Dracula, in his firey form, sending his forces, the Night Creatures that he forced Hector and Isaac to make all night, to raze an entire village to ashes... and the next, he retreats to his quarters to slump in his chair, speaking in a soft and broken voice, and suddenly, he is a man again. It would show his duality so well.

But the show simply forgot the first part.

The entirety of the plot in S2 is that Dracula has stopped being a villain. This is the crux of the conflict! Dracula spends his entire time moping in his chair, and he's so Depressed™ that he literally loses control of his forces... which allows Carmilla to more or less replace him.

There you have it: Dracula's entire arc in S2.

Dracula gets nothing but "humanizing" moments. He speaks civilly to Carmilla after she makes a fool out of him. He commiserates to Isaac about how no one is his friend anymore, taking care to sit by his side like they're buddies. He doesn't care about anything anymore, thus allowing Carmilla to run amok and play Hector and Isaac like recorders (I would say "like a fiddle" but that would imply talent). His plan gets described, multiple times, including by his own son, as nothing more than a suicide mission that will accidentally take down everyone with him. Most importantly, Dracula is painted as being simply a shortsighted fool, who lied to Hector to hire him and then he's surprised that he's distancing himself, who never thought ahead when it cames to blood perserves, who really, why didn't he just turn Lisa into a vampire, is he stupid?

(he's literally doing a :( face. i cannot make this shit up)

Once again: his death scene, which is at its core him being taken down by his own emotions, is brilliant in a vacuum. But in context, it breaks down spectacularly: Dracula has done nothing but feel sorry for himself for 7 episodes now. Where is the guy who made guts and man-eating demons fall from the sky? This is such a blatant attempt to defang (hehe) an iconic antagonist for the sake of 1) propping up an OC, and 2) because we are such good writers and we will fix the shallow games by giving Humanity to our antagonists, to the point where they're not even So Bad After All! (also 3) because woobiefying the dilf will make our horny fans happy)

But like. You can show Dracula's humanity without painting him as such a sad meow meow.

It is said that there was a deplorable incident. Those who did it, those who saw it, those who didn't stop it, the one who created the world, all are equally guilty.

The pain of loss  Distorted overflowing resentment Unquenchable sorrow  The claws of a trembling fist pierce the palm  Becoming a bloody hammer of violence

Gaining what was lost A power as big as sadness A person who rebels against the creator of an existence that will never be lost

One page has the narration describing Dracula's "unquenchable sorrow" that turns his fist into a "bloody hammer of violence"...

"Please, I beg of you, I’m human too!"

"My nourishment is human life and mistakes. I will disappear when humans perish…"

And the next one will have Dracula severely punish his General for daring to question him in his cruel plan for revenge.

And he'll still show some vulnerability to Isaac, but apparently he was okay with him killing Hector and bringing his head back.

And then there's the ending of SoTN, where Dracula finally asks Lisa forgiveness, but not after nearly killing his son and even swearing to wipe away his "vulgar blood" in Japanese. And then there are the implications, most obvious in Grimoire of Souls, that even Dracula has grown tired of being forced to come back over and over, but shows no sign of remorse.

[...]

It may not be shown in depth as NFCV does, but even if more is left to imagination, the games do a much better job at walking the line between "Dracula is the Devil incarnate, a spiteful monster who only desires death and destruction" and "Dracula is the former shell of a man who was broken by grief and cannot let go of his pain".

So yeah. I'm not impressed by the show trying too hard to make me cry for its ineffective, pathetic, pitiful version of Dracula.

[scvcnofswords]

a kiss after receiving good news. || @berthindeath || v's inbox is a mess

Emmrich  cannot  help  but  to  stare  at  Gwen,  his  heart  pounding  in  his  ears  as  her  statement  fully  processes.  There  is  something  surreal,  in  the  moment  as  they  stand  in  the  moon-garden  that  the  pair  of  them  had  worked  so  hard  to  perfect  together-  as  the  Queen-of-the-Night  blossoms  bloom  for  the  one  and  only  time  that  they  will  through  the  year,  as  the  wind  carries  the  sweetness  of  moonblossoms  and  roses  through  the  air  and  around  them.

There  is,  he  thinks,  no  better  place  in  the  world  to  be  given  such  a  gift,  by  the  person  that  is  their  heart,  the  other  half  of  their  soul.  Exhaling  shakily,  Emmrich  steps  forward  and  catches  both  of  Gwen's  hands  in  his-  pulling  them  up  to  press  the  softest  of  kisses  to  each  of  her  palms,  with  his  eyes  never  leaving  her  features.

"-  You,  of  anyone  I  have  ever  known,  deserve  such  an  opportunity,"  Emmrich  says  firmly,  pride  glowing  in  his  chest  with  a  ferocity  that  would  perhaps,  once,  have  scared  them.

"A  book,  written  by  you,  on  theorems  of  necromantic  tradition  and  culture,  using  that  which  you  have  witnessed  through  our  travels  through  the  Fade  and  the  Crossroads,"  he  muses  slowly,  that  smile  widening  slowly  on  his  mouth.  "What  a  splendid  opportunity  you  shall  have!  My  goodness,  we  will  have  to  ensure  we  have  a  copy  of  every  edition  that  is  printed.  Will  you  be  returning  often  to  the  Crossroads  to  further  your  research  anywhere  in  particular?  I  am  sure  Regin  would  be  happy  to  accompany  you-  and  goodness  knows  that  I  myself  would  love  to  be  by  your  side  as  you  traverse,  but  if  you  would  prefer  that  I  remain  behind  to  be  surprised  when  I  read  everything  in  your  masterpiece  for  the  first  time,  I  will  honor  that  as  well."

Unable  to  help  himself,  he  draws  her  closer,  tugging  until  her  arms  are  around  his  neck,  and  he  can  settle  his  hands  at  her  waist.  Slowly,  he  leans  down  and  fits  his  lips  to  hers,  kissing  her  slow  and  deep.  It's-  the  attention  and  the  accreditation  that  she  has  always  deserved,  that  is  so  desperately  overdo.  She's  smiling  into  the  kiss-  and  he  kisses  her  again,  and  then  again-  and  then  rains  kisses  atop  her  cheeks,  the  bridge  of  her  nose  until  Gwen's  beautiful  laughter  fills  the  night  around  them.

"You,  my  dear,  are  a  marvel.  I  am  more  than  certain  it  will  be  brilliant."

[sitp-recs]

HP Rec Fest, Day 30

Here we come with more @hprecfest! Today I’m only reccing rare pairs since I couldn’t think of any pre-canon Drarry fics 🤔 I wonder if canon divergent / canon rewrite applies?? I don’t read them often either way, so I figured this would be a good opportunity to boost lesser known fics. I think this is my favorite rec post for the fest so far - there’s something so poetic in reccing these two specific fics alongside each other since Little Compton Street verse was my first (unforgettable, devastating) contact with Prongsfoot and 5 years later here I am reading them again - this time welcoming the pain. More embarrassing emosh blabbing below!

Day 30) a pre-canon fic:

empire builders by shecrows (James/Sirius, E, 25k)

Say, James, he rehearses in his head. Remember that time we were both roaring drunk at the end of term, and you put your cock in my mouth, and I came so hard I still get tingly thinking about it? Was that just a one off, d’you think, or did you want to do it again sometime?

Prongsfoot my beloved 😭😭😭 sometimes I feel like I’ll never feel as strongly about a ship as I feel for them which sounds so crazy because I don’t even read it! or, well. after being utterly ruined by Winter of ‘79 (curiously a fic within LCS verse as mentioned below) I promised myself I wouldn’t look for this ship anymore bc the inevitable tragedy of it depressed me way too much. I locked them away in a secret space deep within my heart and only allowed myself to re-awaken those feelings this year, with the brilliant empire builders. what a fic! a few lines in and I was hooked and completely obsessed with Sirius’ unbelievably spot on voice, the peak friends to lovers dynamics, and the unbearable sexual tension mixing guilt and devotion (my favorite shippy combo btw). fuck, they are so young and so lovable, and so attuned to each other it makes me wanna cry. never before a 25k fic has felt so short, I’ve read it in a frenzy and couldn’t stop thinking about their love for days. the best word to describe my state after this fic is “tormented” which might as well be the best compliment I’ve ever given in a rec.

Play Me Like A Love Song by @writcraft (Minerva/Will, E, 67k)

Minerva McGonagall doesn’t believe in love at first sight, which is why her instant attraction to drag king Wilhelmina ("Will") Grubbly-Plank is so unexpected. War tears apart the wizarding world and as one battle ends Minerva and Will must fight once more, this time for the lives of their friends on Little Compton Street. A love story spanning five decades defined by music, laughter and tears, in which love is not always easy, but it’s always worth fighting for.

truly a masterpiece of lesbian fiction, this fic is more like a religious experience, bold, brutally honest, romantic, eye-opening and necessary. I never thought I’d care so much for a ship like Will & Minerva but they worked their way inside my heart and I’m deeply moved by how their story encompasses everything that’s inherent to the queer experience: love, loss, resistance and hope. there’s so much joy and grief walking hand by hand, and it is our privilege to watch the characters mature and experience life as individuals and as a couple. Writ crafts oh so thoughtfully two stunning character studies (Minerva’s voice omg, please don’t @ me on my competence kink) while taking us by the hand into the magical universe of Little Compton Street, which is so completely irresistible and healing. I adore the atmosphere, the imagery, the soundtrack, and how this seductive setting allows them to explore their queerness in such a free, proud and joyful way *getting emosh* I feel like nothing I add here will make this story justice, it’s such a poignant and transformative fic but sadly deeply underrated like it happens to so many wlw tales. I hope this rec inspires at least one person to check it out and while at it please also check the entire series with a Drarry piece and a Prongsfoot piece, a perfect trifecta!

[ao3gobi17]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! THAT WAS BRILLIANT! When I saw the notification about the new chapter I literally felt my heart drop 😅 I can't imagine a better ending to this story! I'm so happy with what Quaritch did for Spider, with Spider not giving Wainfleet away .. basically everything that would take me an hour to write ♥️ thank you, thank you for writing this absolute masterpiece 💙 I wonder what college Spider will go to in the future. And who will get what sentence, if you've thought about it please share. Do you plan on returning to this AU at some point, writing additional scenes or Quaritch's POV?

Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you enjoyed 🥳🤩

I wanted to do my best by Spider so I’m glad you felt he got his best possible outcome! (I should clarify that he didn’t give Wainfleet up about the cheesecake thing but otherwise he did.. I think you were maybe referring to the cheesecake though!)

I’m not sure what Spider will do for college. I think he’s still finding his feet in some respects and he has a busy schedule, so I don’t think he’s had time to think about it. I could see him potentially not going to college if he finds something else he wants to do. He is no longer shackled to any system ☺️

Sentencing mostly depends on the court system. I decided not to dig in deep on the research for that. Also there is room for manoeuvre because this is fiction. I think Q gets convicted but the judge gives him the easiest sentence open to him and also the 9 years are deducted. I could see the Peter Ellis four maybe being counted as self-defence too. Its probably still many years. I think the other four also get sentenced and I don’t think Spider saying Lopez and Fike were kinder to him than Walker and Ja goes for much. I reckon Prager eventually gets arrested when he arranges to see his sons in the future. Zdinarsk, Mansk and Wainfleet continue to evade capture.

I might do the odd drabble on tumblr but I don’t have any plans to return to Custody in any meaningful way. It’s all over ☺️☺️ <3

[carverl]

I've been rewatching the Indiana Jones films and decided to rank them from least favourite to my absolute favourite, I'd like to note that despite what negative things I may have to say I don't think there is a bad movie in this franchise which is kind of a miracle. I love all of them to some extent, this series means the world to me, and I feel the entertainment industry is lucky to have it.

5. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I really love the first two acts of this movie; the 50s setting is fun, Harrison Ford is great as ever, Cate Blanchett plays a great villain, the action is fun and energetic, and despite how much of a shitty person Shia LaBeouf is his performance as Mutt Williams is honestly really great. Then they get to the jungle in the second half and it all starts to fall apart. The car chase is pretty terrible, the giant ants are creepy but kind of just meh and the conclusion feels very underwhelming. I will say that I don't agree with the criticism that there being aliens is a bridge too far, it's about as plausible as any of the other supernatural stuff so it doesn't feel out of place to me. Overall a fun movie just a bit messy in its third act. 6/10

4. Dial of Destiny

I was so anxious to watch this one, all I'd heard from people was that it was terrible and another wasted legacy sequel, so imagine my surprise when I sat down to watch it and found it's actually brilliant. It feels like a proper finale to the series and does a lot of interesting things with Indy and makes him more compelling in this film than he's been since Last Crusade. Mads Mikkelsen plays my favourite Indy villain in Jürgen Voller, who is intimidating yet ever so slightly campy. I love him, and his plan is so bonkers and off the wall it's amazing. Helena is a brilliant supporting character, and I love how she's kind of like a young Indy with her own version of Shortround. The overall message of the film plus how it deals with Indy's age and the ending made me cry, I felt it was truly something special. That being said, I didn't like the CGI young Harrison Ford at the start of the movie, as well as how a lot of the once practical stunts are now completely CGI, but that aside I love this film. 8/10

3. Raiders of the Lost Ark

The classic that started it all, I'm not gonna say much about this film mainly because I feel like out of all the films I have least to say about this one. It's really great with phenomenonal action, music, acting, and pacing. An adventure for the ages, everything that could possibly be said about this movie has been said. It's a masterpiece. So why is it not at the top? Mainly cause I like the next two more, nothing against this film but I feel later entries improve on what's already there. Still the most quintessential adventure film of all time. 9/10

2. Temple of Doom

My hot take is that Temple of Doom is better than Raiders and I will die on this hill. This movie is a thrill ride from start to finish with some of my favourite characters in the whole franchise; I love Shortround and think he's a great sidekick to Indy, I love Willie she's such a great comedic foil and her line delivery never fails to crack me up, Mola Ram is basically the devil himself with how genuinely evil he is compared to the other bad guys he seems to be relishing in his evil. The camp fun of this movie mixed in with genuine horror imagery and elements make it utterly unforgettable to me, I know for some people it's too mean spirited but I kind of love that about it. Harrison Ford is so great here too, he is an absolute delight in this movie in every scene. The action is unmatched in the rest of the series here with the mine cart chase and bridge collapse being series highlights for me. Overall, it's just a brilliant bit of fun that while not being very deep has such great entertainment factor that I adore it. 9/10

1. The Last Crusade

I must have watched this on VHS so many times as a kid, I was constantly rewatching Last Crusade so I have a nostalgic bias for this movie, but so what? This movie means so much to me personally, its themes of obsession and fatherhood are beautifully executed. Getting Sean Connery, James Bond himself, to play Indy's father was a genius move by Spielberg the presence of Henry Jones sr elevates this film to the stratosphere for me. The story and characters are absolutely perfect, the action is as great as ever, the character of Indiana Jones himself is at his peak in this movie with how we learn so much about his past with that incredible opening sequence with young Indy. My only slight criticism is that the main villain, Walter Donovan is the weakest of the series, but even that's made up for by Elsa, who plays the role as both villain and love interest brilliantly. I love this movie to death. 10/10

"Indiana, let it go."

[itisineffabledarling]

Good Omens Book Quote #1

This is one of my favorite quotes from @neil-gaiman 's and #TerryParchett 's book Good Omens. It is about my favorite angel, Aziraphale and it goes as follows:

"Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not in England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort. But he was intelligent. And it was an angelic intelligence which, while not being particularly higher than human intelligence, is much broader and has the advantage of having thousands of years of practice.

Aziraphale was the first angel ever to own a computer. It was a cheap, slow, plasticky one, which touted as ideal for the small businessman. Aziraphale used it religiously for doing his accounts, which were so scrupulously accurate that the tax authorities had inspected him five times in deep belief that he was getting away with murder somewhere.

But these other calculations were a kind no computer could ever do. Sometimes he would scribble something on a sheet of paper by his side. It was covered in symbols which only eight other people in the world would have been able to comprehend; two of them had won noble prizes, and the other one of the other six dribbled a lot and wasn't allowed anything sharp because of what he might do with it."

--Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett "Good Omens" Pg. 194

This quoted passage says more about Aziraphale and his intelligence in a uniquely subtextual way. It suggests Aziraphale is brilliant in accounting and statistics, one of the hardest mathematical subjects to learn, understand, and comprehend, while also stating one of the very few, and/or only modern thing(s) in his bookshop is a computer most likely dating back to the late 1980s or early 1990s.

It's also particularly humorous that any tax authority agents could think that Aziraphale, a literal Angel (though they don't know it), could possibly be "getting away with a murder somewhere" due to his too-perfect tax records and brilliant accounting skills.

This book is an amazing, well-written masterpiece and an insanely good read. I laughed heartily several times while reading the book. All the characters are marvelous, funny, surreal, and easy to connect with. The story is fantastical, zany, fun, comedic, and surreal. It's a beautiful reminder that everything we hold dear could be gone instantly if an apocalyptic event wasn't adverted, though thankfully it was adverted with the help of love and friendship.

[stephaniejuhnay]

I watched a video the other day of top ten community episodes (and the five worst), and realized how nearly impossible that would be for me to do bc 90% of the show is so good to me. But I’m gonna try. I’m also gonna cheat bc it’s my post and idc.

Top 10 Best (aka my favorite) Community Episodes:

Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design - I wish I could watch this episode for the first time again because of the ride it took me on. I said it on here before but if there was only one episode I could recommend to someone from the series, it would be this. It’s so outlandish and fun that it’ll hook you into watching the series to understand how this school and these people got to this point and are just okay with it. Kevin Corrigan was a gem in this also. Anywho. The rest of these are all equally at 2 for me even tho I will be numbering them. Just understand that I love them all EQUALLY.

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons - another episode I wish I could watch again for the first time. To tell that story in mostly bottle episode form was brilliant. Also, the acting was top notch. Again, not a lot for them to work off of in terms of action and movement, so for it to be SUCH a compelling episode with them just sitting around the study room table is just a testament to the brilliance and vision of Dan and the writers and the cast. And the Russos for directing this masterpiece.

Remedial Chaos Theory - I know this is going to be a shocker, but this is an episode I wish I could watch again for the first time. Darkest timeline intro. Cigarette gag. Pizza dance. Toilet olives. Arguably Troy’s most iconic gif (he has many). What else do I need to say?

Cooperative Calligraphy - again. Bottle episode brilliance. And the twist of it all! I remember watching it and being dumbfounded by the end. But also so heart-warmed at how the group overcame. It’s always the heart in this series that wins no matter how insane the premise might be.

Basic Lupine Urology- if I’m remembering correctly, this might be the first episode I watched live after restarting the series. I started when it aired but didn’t stick with it until til my mom caught Aerodynamics of Gender on a plane and said “Steph you gotta watch this episode of this show I just saw.” And the rest is history. But yeah. The deep regret I had watching this episode bc I’d deprived myself of 2 years of this show…no one was taking the swings community took and pulling it off THIS well. Super conceptual, super low stakes made to be incredibly important, and easily some of the best jokes of the season, maybe the series.

Epidemiology - I literally was stunned that they pulled off that concept so well. I think I watched again after finishing it the first time because I couldn’t believe it. This was also when we got the start of the dean’s iconic costumes, a cornerstone of this show. Also, I was legitimately scared the first time watching this! 😂

Critical Film Studies - I think this was some of the best story-telling on this show. A really sweet story at the heart of it (which is the show as a whole) wrapped in a hilarious and really creative premise paying homage to one of the most obscure movies ever.

Paradigms of Human History - for a long time, this was my favorite episode bc I couldn’t believe what they pulled off. I still can’t honestly, which is why it’s second on my list (remember I said these are all #2 after Conspiracy Theories). When they came back and did it again in Curriculum Unavailable, I was thrilled and once again stunned. (You can count Curriculum Unavailable as part of this list I guess). Leave it to Dan to spin the clip show concept.

Contemporary American Poultry - this episode is amazing and rightfully called one of the best of season one. This episode laid the groundwork for establishing just how whimsical and insane Greendale could be, and made everything that came after it believable. It was also so incredibly heartwarming and the start of a lot of jokes that were called back.

Basic Intergluteal Numismatics - similar to the reasons I love Basic Lupine Urology. The commitment to the genre, the callback to the ACB, a one off joke from 2 seasons before, the fact that it’s still a cold case. I love it so much.

Honorable Mentions:

Modern Warfare, A Fist Full of Paintballs, For a Few Paintballs More, and Modern Espionage - I feel like the paintball run is in a league of their own and unfair to put in a top 10 list. Clearly they are amazing and amongst the best episodes of the series. And yes I purposely left out Advanced Introduction to Finality. That was not paintball. 😭

Football, Feminism, and You - this is when the show hit its stride for me when I finally went back to watch. The pacing, the writing, the actors finally figuring out who their characters were for real, Troy’s politically conservative shamefully outdated fight raps. It’s a perfect episode of television to me and to find that so early in a series is pretty amazing.

Aerodynamics of Gender - the episode that got me back into the show. I owe it so much. Also gave me one of my favorite Troy line: “worth it.”

Regional Holiday Music - again, Harmon’s (and his writers’) mind in pulling off these highly conceptual episodes that feels real to the world they built and grounded. I’m forever in awe.

Basic Human Anatomy - YES. A season 4 episode made this list. Jim Rash wrote the hell outta this episode and it was the brightest spot on season 4.

Five Worst Episodes:

I won’t elaborate on these too much bc the basic idea is that they were not good and felt contrived despite the writers trying to maintain Harmon’s world and the actors giving it everything they had. Yes they’re all from the gas leak year.

Advanced Introduction to Finality

Heroic Origins (I like to pretend none of those origins took place bc too many plot holes)

Alternative History of the German Invasion

Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations (we deserved a better Jeff/William conflict and resolution and so did Jeff)

Conventions of Space and Time (this was a great concept that in Dan’s hands could’ve been brilliant)

[pancakehouse]

hi i’m here from your insane captive prince one shot. let me preface this by saying I DONT GO HERE. and then say i am about to… that was so good it was literally perfect balance of all things that make the perfect one shot: yearning + good background + pining + sex. and every portion was PERFECT especially well. you know. i cant say bc i know u know. hehe the way i am raving about this you’d think it was a deep character study but it’s like pure sex and i’m like hmm yes it is this thoughtful literary masterpiece that has convinced me to read this series.. but you know what. it’s practically that but told through a diff medium. a sex medium. and i stand by it. 5 star experience ur brilliant (🌚) i’m forever in awe of everything you do. and you. hehe mwah byeee (almost signed this like a letter like all my love. ahhh i cant leave ok they’re dragging me off BYEEE)

HI I LOVE YOU SO BADDDD (girl relax) (no never!!)

this is so nice.. awkward smile.. yuck !!! but thank u my sweet for ur hand holding (we should always be holding hands just like.. those other two..) i would likely have collapsed into a fit of mortification otherwise and ALSO well my personal fav part was “if that will be all” haha like what a line there amiright !!! clever witty charming it says everything it blows the story wide open 😋😋 endless kisses my silly star serena .. All My Love,

🧚‍♀️

[zapple100]

🎤 Interview with the Artist: Ralph Rumpeltonand the MS Paint Revolution

Interviewer: Your work has been described as “deliberately crude, conceptually sharp, and visually confusing.” What inspired you to start creating in MS Paint?

Rumpelton: I think it started with boredom and spiraled into obsession. MS Paint is the most honest art program ever made. No layers. No frills. No mercy. If you can make something halfway expressive in it, you’ve earned it. If not... that’s also kind of the point.

Interviewer: There’s a strong conceptual streak in your work—“Everything That Isn’t There,” for example. Is the meaning more important than the image?

Rumpelton: Sometimes the meaning is the image. Other times, I just wanted to draw something terrible and pretend it was deep. I like living in that space between sincerity and satire. If someone thinks it’s brilliant, great. If someone thinks I’m trolling, also great. Either way, they’re thinking about it.

Interviewer: Your MS Paint recreations of album covers—what’s the goal there?

Rumpelton: It’s an homage and a takedown at the same time. Album art is sacred to a lot of people, and I’m dragging it through the lowest digital mud possible. But also, I genuinely love these records. I’m not mocking the music—just having fun with the seriousness around it. It’s like painting with a potato and still managing to make it look kind of right.

Interviewer: Your art sticks out on DeviantArt. Do you feel like an outsider?

Rumpelton: Oh yeah. My stuff sticks out like a sore thumb that’s also flipping you off. There’s amazing technical work all over the site. Then there’s mine: flat, weird, sometimes crooked, proudly low-effort—but full of ideas. That contrast is what makes it work. If I blended in, it wouldn’t be worth doing.

Interviewer: Any advice for other artists working in "unconventional" styles?

Rumpelton: Don’t try to fix your mistakes—make them worse until they’re a style. The more personal and imperfect your work is, the harder it is to ignore. You don’t need approval—you need commitment. 

Interviewer: Final question: is MS Paint a valid art tool?

Rumpelton: MS Paint is the blunt instrument of the digital age. It’s like using a spoon to chisel marble. It wasn’t meant to work—but when it does, it hits different. You don't make masterpieces in it. You make statements.

[gabriellucatero]

20 Contradictions to Lose Your Mind While Chasing a Dream That Barely Pays the Bills

Writing is a game of contradictions. You need confidence but should never feel too confident. You have to care deeply while pretending you don’t care at all. You must write for yourself but still want thousands of strangers to worship your words. It’s a twisted, masochistic art form, and if you’ve ever stared at a blank page and questioned every life choice that led you here, congratulations, you’re a real writer.

Here are 20 contradictions that every writer has to live with:

1. The more you write, the less confident you feel about your writing.

At first, you think you’re a genius. Then you write more, read more, learn more, and suddenly realize you know nothing. Progress feels like regression.

2. You want feedback but secretly hope everyone says it’s brilliant.

Sure, you ask for “honest” critiques, but if someone so much as questions a comma, you’re up at 3 AM, contemplating revenge.

3. Writing is lonely, but you desperately want people to read your work.

You isolate yourself for months, then feel insulted when no one throws you a parade for finishing a chapter.

4. You need absolute silence to write, but you can’t focus in total silence.

Too much noise? You can’t think. Too little noise? Your brain creates a symphony of existential dread.

5. You love writing, but you hate writing.

Starting a piece is painful. Finishing a piece is painful. Everything in between? Also painful. But you’d rather suffer through it than not write at all.

6. You want to be original, but you also want to write what sells.

You dream of being a literary rebel, but damn, that bestseller list looks tempting.

7. You tell yourself you don’t care about validation, but you refresh your stats every five minutes.

Who writes just for themselves? Liars. That’s who.

8. You crave inspiration, but you know it won’t come unless you sit down and force it.

The muse isn’t real. The only way to get ideas is to show up and bleed on the page.

9. You love books, but reading a great one makes you feel like a talentless hack.

It’s inspiring… until you realize you’ll never write something that good.

10. You want to quit writing at least once a month but never will.

It’s a toxic relationship, but you’re in too deep.

11. You have a dozen ideas but are afraid to start any of them.

Because starting means committing, and committing means risking failure.

12. You’re more productive when you have less time.

A whole free day? You’ll waste it. A deadline in an hour? Boom, masterpiece.

13. You love the smell of books, but half the time, you read on a screen.

Bookstores are sacred, but let’s be honest, you’re scrolling on your phone in bed.

14. You want to write every day, but some days, you can’t even form a coherent thought.

Even pros have off days. Hemingway probably had mornings when he stared at his typewriter, questioning his existence.

15. You obsess over finding the perfect word, but most readers won’t even notice.

You spent an hour choosing between “walked” and “strode.” No one cares.

16. You love rewriting, but you hate deleting your precious words.

Cutting a sentence feels like murder. But deep down, you know it had to die.

17. You fantasize about being a full-time writer but probably miss your day job’s structure.

Unlimited time to write? Sounds amazing. Until you realize how much Netflix exists.

18. You want your book to be adapted into a movie, but you’ll complain about every change.

“The director just didn’t get my vision.”

19. You think writing will make you rich, but most of your money comes from something else.

Ain’t that the truth?

20. Despite all of this, you’ll keep writing.

Because what else are you going to do? Quit? Ha.

Final Thought:

Writing is an uphill battle against your own contradictions. But if you can embrace the madness, you might just create something worthwhile. Or at least, something that makes you laugh at how absurd this whole thing is.

Now go write something. And stop overthinking it.

(Loved this list? Concider a donation; my future children will thank you for it.)