#not even anything awful i'm just in a funk

[sayheykid]

i understand i'm very much getting into "don't trust anything you think about yourself after 9pm territory" but god this semester is off to a bad start so far

[sillyteenagegirlinlovewithblocks]

Screaming crying throwing up rn I LOVE you're writing smmm ever since I got back into aphmauuu <3 if you want to can u write a Mystreet Garroth x werewolf reader? Idk if I asked this before I'm sorry 😭😭 as usual take ur time and do what's best for u :)

Secrets.

Pdh!Garroth Ro’meave x reader.

Cw: I don’t think so I mean he kinda yells at ivy but that’s it.

(I’m actually I love you for saying that because like I’m not as confident as I wish I was with my writing but that made me feel so happy. ALSO I HOPE YOU LIKE ITT. I know i added my own creative motive but it wasn’t specified so I hope this is okay and thank you sm I’ve been in a writing funk and this definitely help me. 

“ werewolf class? Why would they put you in a werewolf class? You're not even a werewolf” Garroth says to y/n while walking to school for their first day back from summer break.

“ I don’t know I think it’s just a class mix up “

y/n feels hot in the face. Lying especially about this well it’s stupid but she was a late bloomer for her ears and tail and it seemed embarrassing to randomly show up with them so she just hid it.

“ that’s weird but it makes sense Laurence got put in classes he didn’t even sign up for too. Can you imagine doing advanced math? Poor sucker” he laughs.

“Garroth I’m in advanced math too,” Y/n states blankly.

“ Oh, that sucks,” he says making a teeth-gritting face and then turning to the school they just arrived at. Letting go of each other's hands because he gets to go in early.

“ have fun in werewolf class baby.” he kisses her on the forehead. She hums in response. He looks down at her face before he walks away, seeing her smile he can't help but think she is so beautiful and garroth has never been one to keep that to himself.

“Sometimes when I look at you I just wanna eat your face 'cause you're so pretty,” he says while looking at her with the most serious face you will see him make. She smiles back and nods at his odd compliment.

“ you can eat my face later after school but right now you are late” she laughs.

“ oh shoot you're right “ he runs away and blows her a kiss. As he leaves sight you hear a familiar voice from behind you.

“ awe isn't that cute, you two love birds. Sadly it won't last any longer once he finds out you have been lying to him. You know garroth HATES lying more than anything” Ivy claimed.

“ lying? What have I been lying about Ivy?” y/n asks. Ivy pulls out a picture of her bag and hands it to you. The picture is of y/n at home with her ears and tail out.

“ This is fake,” y/n hand it back to her.

“ is it and what about this video? “ she shows her a video on her phone.

( in the video)

“ yeah I just feel so bad for lying to him”

Why don't you tell him you're a werewolf “

“ I don't know I guess it's embarrassing and it's not as it matters that much I guess”

“ doesn't it cause it ways on your conscience you should tell him “

( video ends )

“Ivy what the fuck that's stalking, that was a private conversation. I could sue you for that!” y/n fumed out the ears.

“ your too poor for that” Ivy says without hesitation. “ look I'm going to show garroth this video once I find him and then he's going to break up with you and get with me” She smiles and waves while walking away from y/n

“ that's messed up, “ Laurence says coming out of nowhere. Y/n flinches like someone is about to hit her.

“ geez chill it's just me. Anyway, I heard that whole thing and I think garroth will forgive you for lying just as long as he finds out from you. I know he cares about you a lot and honestly, it is actually not that bad, the lying is but I get it you are embarrassed bout it but just be honest with garroth. He's the most accepting person I know and you know. So just go find him and tell him before Ivy does. I hate that girl. “ he says and then before y/n can speak he walks away. Y/n raises her shoulders slightly confused because y/n has never heard Laurence speak that much to her.

confused and guilty y/n take out her phone to call Garroth but he doesn't answer. ( his phone is probably on dnd ) so y/n has to go find him the old-fashioned way.

After searching the school for him y/n couldn't find him before the bell rang for class. Thankfully y/n had second period with him so hopefully Ivy didn't get to him first. After an agonizing hour of trying to figure out what to say to him and how. She’s got “Hey I'm a werewolf hope that's cool!” Y/n slightly banged her head on the desk for the last few minutes of class until the bell rang. Once she was out of the class she darted to the second period, garroth is usually early for classes so he would be there. But once she got there he was already in the class talking to lvy and she was showing him her phone I'm guessing the video. She watches for a second as his facial expression is very tight and annoyed. Y/n take a deep breath and walks into the class.

“ you can think how you wanna think but I had my reasons.” y/n acknowledged that it was too late and all she could say was that. He didn't turn around to her instead he kept his back to her.

“ why you would think it is okay to tell someone elses secrets like this. Its obvious this was a private conversation. “ he lectured ivy instead of y/n Both girls are super confused, he was supposed to be mad at y/n.

“ I was just looking out for a friend and -” ivy trys to explain but garroth cuts her off.

“ no you weren't you were just being selfish like you always are. Laurence told me what you said. You only showed me this because you think its going to get me to date you but ivy I will never ever been with someone like you. Your a bully and you like inflicting pain on others for your entertainment. Do you really think I like that???” He tells her off in the way

y/n was wanting him to do ever since they started dating. Ivy starts crying and runs out of the room.

“ that was kinda rough”y/n says to break that silence. But just because garroth told ivy off doesn’t mean he wasn’t upset with y/n to.

“ and you how could you lie to me especially all this time and the conversation we had this morning we literally just talked about it. You agreed with me when I said you weren’t a werewolf!” His voice changed from how he talked to ivy to more sad and looking for answers.

“ I’m sorry! I just didn’t know how to say it “ she replied.

“ oh they why didn’t you just say oh yeah I’m a werewolf. that’s a thing, yeah!” He mimicked her voice and for a moment she wanted to laugh because his impression was odd and silly sounded but she knew if she laughed he would get ten times more upset. Y/n take a deep breath and get closer to him.

“ listen I’m so sorry garroth I know I shouldn’t have lied for so long and there is no excuse as to why I did but in my mind I had reasons that made sense and what makes sense in my mind is law for me just like how your Brain works.” She explains softly in a way she hopes garroth could understand. He sighs.

“ what are the reasons?” He asks in a complete different tone from a minute ago.

“ well firstly it was embarrassing. I just got this new weird looking upgrades on my body and my ears weren’t as developed as they would have been if I wasn’t a late bloomer. But I think the biggest reason that I didn’t wanna acknowledge was that I was scared.” She whispered.

“ scared?”he asked.

“ I am scared people will treat me differently because of it. I mean do you even realize that some of your friends treat the wolfs like dogs? Aphmau throws balls and tells her friends to go get it? And I don’t understand why they play along with it. It’s offensive. I get it we like some things a dog would but we also like things humans would and that doesn’t seem to matter just as long as we like balls or frisbees” she shrugs her shoulders to finish her sentence.

“ wow y/n I never noticed that. I am so sorry and I am sorry if I’ve ever said anything offensive to the werewolf’s or made you feel like I’d treat you different because of it. I would never” she grabs her face to caress her cheek. She leans into his hand.

“ I know you wouldn’t sweet boy” she picks up her hand to run it through his hair. But they were brutally interrupted by the bell and now people started coming into the class so they had to go to there seats.

[pocketmania]

Yo, I'm someone who hit a funk and broke my three month streak of not hurting myself, and am feeling down... splatoon has helped take my mind off things, so would you please write some headcannons on the girls comforting a reader who they caught harming themselves? Thanks in advance, I just need the comfort rn.

I'm really sorry that that happened. I understand how you feel, so I'll gladly write some headcanons for you if they'll make you feel better. You're very strong for going for three months, yknow. And i know you're strong enough to try again. You've got this <3

I'm also gonna put a hotline number at the end for anyone, just in case

Now onto the thingy

‼️Quick TW for Self Harm/Suicide‼️

‎‧₊˚✧[ The Idols Comforting A Self-harming Reader ]✧˚₊‧

(🎨🔫🤬❤️‍🩹) - splatoon angst comfort

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

- - - - - - -

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Callie

Had just come home from a shopping spree when she found you in your room with a bleeding arm

You used one of the kitchen knives

"(Y/N)?! OHMIGOSH, ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT CUT YO-"

Then she sees the knife next to you

The expressive glow in her eyes was gone

She rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a bunch of paper towels, and began to clean your cuts

Lots of hugs and kisses with a side of kind reassurements were given that night

"(Y/N).. please don't do this to yourself. It's not worth it. It's going to be okay, whatever you're goin' through, yeah?"

She checks in with you a lot more now

Asking how you're feeling, if you've eaten, stuff like that

If you have past scars she'll kiss them

If you're feeling down (like you want to hurt yourself again) she'll give you a bunch of distractions and things to do so you don't

If you relapse, she gives you a big hug and say that it's alright

"That's okay! I'm sure you can go even longer this time! I believe in you!"

She was honestly worried she'd lose you

But she sees that you're healing now and that you're better, and that's all she could ever ask for

She's glad you're still around

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Marie

Also had just come home from shopping, but it was with Callie. She called out to you, but didn't find you in the living room or in the bedroom or kitchen, so she checked the bathroom

She found you with a bleeding leg

You used a razor

She didn't have a very "over-the-top" reaction (unlike Callie)

She just grabbed the first-aid kit you kept in the bathroom and cleaned your wounds.

She didn't wanna scare you

"I may not understand, but I know."

She gave you a tight squeeze after she was done. "I know."

She's a lot less sarcastic with you now

Always tries to make sure you're happy or at least satisfied with yourself

If you feel like hurting yourself she'll bring you into a huge cuddle-sesh until she's sure you're feeling better

Careful, those can last hours

If you relapse, she'd bandage you up and try to make you smile or laugh

"Don't worry, kid. There's always next time."

Despite how sarcastic and snarky she is on T.V., she's very caring and loving

And she'd do anything to make sure you're safe

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Pearl

"(N/N), I brought ya some foo-"

Dropped the plate when they saw you hunched over, crying with a burned arm

You used Pearl's lighter

Rushed over and immediately took the lighter from you. She accidentally burned herself, too, but that was an accident

Yours was on purpose

Pearl isn't all that good at comforting people, so she called Marina in to help

She kissed you, rubbed your back, and whispered sweet words to you while Marina helped your burns

"I'm so sorry.. Whatever happened, it's not your fault."

Pearl would continue to do all those things while you explained why you did that

Needless to say, she felt awful

From here on out, she's always doing things to keep you happy

She might make little songs for you (with the help of Marina's composing) or cook with you (albeit she's not the best cook)

If you relapse, she'll just sit there with you, head on your shoulder, ready to listen if you wanna vent or talk

Or if you just wanna sit there in silence, too

Like I said, she's not the best at comforting people, especially when they've done something like this

But she'll try her best if it's all worth making and keeping you happy

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Marina

She had finally emerged from her recording studio after at least 3 hours of editing and revising music for the Memverse

That's when she found you, bruised and slightly bleeding

You had been biting yourself and bit down really hard

She was confused at first as to why you would do such a thing

She's your personal therapist at this point

Treating the wounds, asking how you're feeling, what happened while she was gone, if you wanna talk, etc. etc.

"I know this won't help, but you shouldn't feel so bad. I am your biggest fan, and I'm always gonna be there to support you and care for you, okay?"

Even if she didn't seem all that terrified, she was incredibly scared that you would bite down too hard and really hurt yourself

Keeps an eye on you and your mood from now own

Just like Callie, she gives you things to do when you feel like harming yourself, just digitally

Lets you run through the memverse demo as many times as you'd like

If you relapse, she'll kiss your wounds (when they're clean) and say that was a good try, and that you can do better than before

But, she really wasn't lying when she said she was your biggest fan and supporter

She always was, and she always will be

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Shiver

She had just finished training a bunch of sharks just a ways from your house. She came home, fan in hand, and called out for you

You didn't respond, so she began to look for you

She found you in the bedroom, clawing at your arm

Since your nails weren't that sharp, it didn't draw blood, but it was enough to leave a mark

You swore she turned paper white when she gasped

She gasped so loud people in Inkopolis could've heard her

She quickly recollected herself and rushed over to help you

I have a headcanon that shiver excessively fans herself when she's on edge, so she did a lot of that here

"(Y/N)?? Why would you do such a thing to yourself? ... Well, please, don't do it again. You're too good of a person to deserve this."

From then on, she was a lot more caring toward you

Less sarcasm, less of a snarky personality, more of a mother figure

Makes sure you've eaten, and that you haven't harmed yourself (and that you won't anytime soon)

Also makes you trim your nails so you can't scratch yourself again

If you relapse, she encourages you to try and make your streak longer the next time

She may not show it half (or 3/4) of the time, but she really cares about you. And it would deeply hurt her if she lost you

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Frye

Randomly woke up from a really good nap, turned over, and saw you hitting yourself on your arms, legs, and head

She probably woke up due to your hitting moving the bed

You bruised your legs and arms and gave yourself a massive headache

Frye immediately tried to constrain you (and you gave in since she's freakishly strong. she's broken a rock before. twice.)

Started bombarding you with questions

"(Y/N)?! What happened?? Why were you beating yourself up?"

You broke down, and she immediately pulled you into a tight hug

"Hey, now! Don't cry! It's alright, I'm right here! I'm awake now, and I'm not gonna let anything or anyone hurt you, ya hear?"

Considering how she has siblings, she's actually pretty good at comforting people. She does, however, get extra advice from Big Man from time to time

Just like Shiver, she makes sure you've eaten and that you don't start hitting yourself again

Also makes it clear that it's perfectly fine to open up to her whenever you need to and whenever she has time to listen

If you do ever relapse, she's never mad. She'll just comfort you and ask you to try again

Frye's got a soft side, especially when it comes to you. And she's not afraid to show it if it means you'll be alive and well

- - - - - - -

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

[paperstorm]

It's nice that you're excited about missing moments again! I'm really looking forward to what you have planned for the rest of season 3 (and season 4 if you ever get that far) as it has some of my favorite episodes like the one with Lou and of course the engagement. I'm glad you're able to take your time with it though, the worst thing is when writing becomes a chore and an obligation rather than a hobby!

I am hoping it lasts 😭 The thing is - the last thing in the world I want to do is complain about having people interested in my writing because of course that is just the most wonderful thing and I am SO lucky. But it does also make you feel awful when you get into a funk and can't seem to keep creating what people are waiting for / excited about. Completely nobody is doing anything wrong but I do end up feeling obligated, even if it's just from me putting pressure on myself to keep having things to post and an anxiety that if I can't, people will get tired of waiting. Which is all a very long (and somewhat self-pitying) way of saying thank you so much for this message, and I am sitting down with a cup of tea and a snuggly cat and hoping I can write a bit more before I have to go out again!

[heresthestorymorningglory]

Alright, now that Part 4 of Under Your Spell is posted; I just have to let the internet know a thing (because obviously if it's not on the internet it's not true)

But you. @ken-dom, my long lost twin, the sister I'm convinced I was supposed to have and never got (I have a lot of chosen sisters and you're now on that list whether you like it or not) There are not enough characters in a Tumblr text post to tell you, how. fucking. grateful. I am to have stumbled across your blog and by proxy your friendship by accident.

I started this blog 10 years ago...my life was very different then and I thought headed in a very different direction than where I ended up and I couldn't be more thankful that my life didn't turn out the way I had wanted back then. This blog was so active, and I posted very consistently, I'm not going into detail, but I wasn't in the best place then, and when I finally pulled myself out of that funk after about a year, this blog whet absolutely dormant. It went dormant because I thought I needed to be in that awful headspace to write anything good, to write at all; over the last ten yeas or so, and not for lack of trying, my love of writing while it never faded, I tried so hard to write and just couldn't, I have so many WIP pieces that will never see the light of day.

Then Barbie (just trust me) changed my life; that movie wasn't everyone's cup of tea, and I totally understand why, but for me, as an adult (and a child who had MANY Barbies and loved them) and yes I had a Ken and I loved him too.....this movie healed my inner child and my adult self in a way I can't even explain, and won't because I truly don't think anyone would understand anyway.

ANYWAY, all of that to say, it inspired me to start writing again, and while I was certain that this was going to be another failed attempt, I went for it anyway, and found Ken-dom's blog and the inspiration I needed; I've said it a thousand times, and if you follow me you've seen it, this woman's writing style is amazing, she puts so much care and time and thought into whatever she's working on and it translates into everything she does. Without her I wouldn't have had the courage to dive as deeply into writing again as I have. She introduced me to the Goosecord who are also just a wonderful bunch of people who make my life better just by being in it.

As I'm sure most of my fellow writers can understand, I get very in my head when writing a lot and doubt myself frequently. If it weren't for this group of folks (and one or two others outside) none of this would exist.

I tagged her in this (are you 🥹yet?) xD so all of that just to say thank you my fellow Goose enthusiast, you're the Healy to my Holland, the Six to my Fitz, the Driver to my reader (or vice versa) there's literally no one I'd rather be buried up to my neck in smut with and I'm coming for you in 2025 ❤️(Probably with a couple of my other chosen sisters in tow)

I'm certain I missed something but you get the idea xD

[writcraft]

For the Wip title game:

Gosh, so many intriguing titles. Anything Little Compton Street sounds exciting, as does vampire Snarry.

That said, I think I am most curious about If She Ever Leaves. The fact that it looks to be characterised as just Hermione rather than a ship stands out to me. Also, I would love to read more stories focusing on some of the female characters - variety is the spice of life.

Thank you so much for the ask! I have mislead you with If She Ever Leaves WIP title, because it is a ship fic (Hermione/Ginny) but Hermione's POV is very immersive / introspective in this fic in a way that makes me think of it as hers.

This is a story I have actually posted snippets of over a couple of years now, and I desperately want to write it but it's heavy. Ron and Hermione are together at the start and trying desperately to make it work even when it doesn't. It hurts to write this fic because it take me back to the awful pain of breaking up with someone you love, just not like that. If I'm experiencing that funk writing the damn thing, it makes me think it might be miserable as hell to read. I also have no clear sense of the end, how does Hermione/Ginny turn out okay with that set up? And I love a happy or hopeful ending. Ugh.

I actually love so many things about this story. It is (I think) written well, it is human, it hurts, but it also hurts me to write it which is why it has languished in my WIPs for so long. I need a bit of a plan to unblock this one so I can actually finish it and hopefully not make anyone who reads it feel horrible. Suggestions always welcome!

ask me about my WIPs

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #255

I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with me today. Despite having an objectively awesome day today, I seem to have found myself in some kind of funk. I feel generally awful and overwhelmed with worry about a variety of things, most of which I can't talk about with anyone, anywhere, for fear of sounding insane. I haven't had any drive to create anything at all for a number of weeks, too, and it's scaring me.

…Well, that's all right. The only thing for it is to carry it, and the only way out is through. I've got a few more years to wait before I'll be able to see if anything has changed. The passage of time feels unforgivingly slow, and in a few more months, there's not gonna be enough sunlight for me to feel good until next March rolls around. But that's okay. Worse things have happened. It feels heavy now, but it won't feel like this forever.

So I'll just talk about the various things I did today.

The tooth extraction that I was supposed to get next Tuesday has been cancelled because I guess no oral surgeons are going to be in on that day. It has been rescheduled to the first of October, which I guess is cool and all, but… I guess I really kinda wanted to just get it done and over with.

I went with a friend - her name is Bv - to an Italian sandwich place. We were supposed to go to the tea shop next door, but they're closed for the next number of weeks for some reason. But this new place we tried was pretty cool, too. They had flowers in places:

...I thought you might like them.

Here's what I ended up getting:

It's some kind of sandwich with mozzarella, roasted red peppers, and prosciutto. And I guess a salad came with it.

Bv and I talked a long time, and it was really difficult because she wanted to eat outside, and the sound of the cars rushing by made it hard to hear her, and... she's a much older lady, probably somewhere between 60 and 70 years old. If my Auditory Processing Disorder gets in the way of me understanding her, the most likely scenario is that she's going to assume that I'm either being deliberately disrespectful or that I am not paying enough attention. So I focused really hard, and it was really difficult, but I think I managed for the most part.

Bv has a friend with trauma, but this friend of hers isn't exactly handling it well. I guess Bv is going to try to put her friend in touch with me to see if I can help somehow. If I'm contacted, surely I'm gonna try. But... I'm half expecting that it's not going to work out. In order for any of what I can say to this person to be useful to them at all, they'd first need a relatively flexible mind and a willingness to try new things. In my limited experience, it's difficult for most people to maintain those kinds of traits. From what I've seen, people generally want quick fixes for their problems that make everything better in a jiffy. People wanna get better, but without actually changing anything about themselves, their environment, or the mindset they carry.

Put in Dead Cells terms, most people wanna just be able to play on 5 Boss Cells and not get hit, but without needing to put in the practice to get there. And I get why - it's not because people are bad or lazy or whatever; no that's not it at all. Rather, they're just too tired to be able to sustain effort that isn't going to produce instantaneous results. It's not a moral failure as much as it is reflective of a profound state of total exhaustion on their part.

I get into states like that, too. It's because I'm human. I am by absolutely no means perfect.

...Regardless, I have to try. If there's even the smallest chance I might be able to help, I gotta.

After I got home, J was at a flying lesson. So I played Dead Cells. But I was feeling tired and weird, so I didn't do very well. I never made it past the Prison Depths. I kept getting easily frustrated with myself, so I figured the thing to do is stop. So that's what I did.

And now I'm here, writing to you. But I think I'm gonna call it here, because I've got work tomorrow and I have to rest, and if I keep going, I'm going to ramble.

Sephiroth... don't die out there, okay? Don't do anything that will lead to whatever you're made of disappearing. Please.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[duckieluckylove]

Cartoons and cuddles may not fix everything but they definitely help

---------fluffy , comfort , krkbkxFem!reader

Yuu felt numb, apathetic in a way. She knew was it was, the depressive episode had been creeping up for weeks and she was just to busy and stressed to notice until it was too late. So with a heavy sigh she forced herself out of her dorm room knowing staying there would only make it worse, dragging a blanket with her she found the dorms community room. It was empty much to the happiness of Yuu and she snuggled up on the couch before grabbing the remote and putting on a cartoon. The animation, colors, and wackiness of the cartoon helped ease her stressed mind making her focus only on the tv. She didn't notice two of her class mates entering the room- after it was late and most of the UA students were sleeping by now. So she jumped when she heard Katsuki Bakugou call out to her.

" oi whatcha doing out here so late ?" He huffed his voice grumpy and sleepy , it seemed he just woke up. Ejiro Kirishima was behind him in the same state minus the grump. He smiled and waved sleepily.

" didn't mean to startle ya - I woke up and wanted water and didn't want to go alone so I grabbed bakubro" Kirishima hummed . Yuu nodded and paused her cartoon.

" I couldn't sleep , haven't been feeling great the cartoons are a nice distraction" Yuu said softly and Kirishima nodded with understanding and before Yuu knew it Bakugou had flopped onto the couch with her.

" must be bad if your not baking up a fucking bakery worth of cookies" he grumbled and bleary looked at the tv. Kirishima chuckled and pointed to the kitchen.

" I'll get my water and come back , we can watch cartoons together " Kirishima said and left , his foot steps softly padding across the floor.

" so what's botherin ya , not that I care or anything just gunna be dragging me down when we train if your not up to speed." Bakugou leaned back against the couch and looked over at Yuu who nodded amused.

" I'm just in a funk, depressive episode is hitting hard right now but I'll be okay just gotta power through it , everything is temporary anyways." Yuu hummed softly and Bakugou nodded before leaning on her.

" you're strong as fuck , but you don't have to deal with that shit alone me and dumb hair are here for ya got that ?" Bakugou huffed out.

Yuu was touched by the sincerity of Bakugou's words even if they were a bit rough around the edges she knew he was trying. So choked up she nodded and let her lean more against him noticing he was shivering a bit. The community room was cold so Yuu didn't hesitate to share her blanket with him.

"can't have you getting to cold blasty " Yuu said softly and looked to the tv missing Bakugou's soft blush as he mumbled a gruf thank you. Soon enough Kirishima had returned , holding water for all of them and some snacks. He placed them on the coffee table and sat on the couch.

" awe starting a cuddle pile with out me ?" Kirishima hummed and Bakugou rolled his eyes before he reached over and pulled the red head against the other side of his body now sandwiched between Yuu and Kirishima. Kirishima blushed and chuckled nervously before settling hesitantly. Yuu smiled and unpaused the cartoon , the next morning the three of them were found sleeping in a pile on the small community room couch, yes they were teased and yes some photos were taken for black mail. But none of that denied how much Yuu enjoyed spending time with the boys and she hoped they enjoyed it just as much as her.

----

Hey hope you enjoyed it I've been feeling crappy myself and wanted to make this it's completely self indulgent and it is not edited whatsoever lmao I might make a series for these one shots but we will see 🌸🌸

[magic-lee-me]

Writer's Block

~While I've written t-word fics for myself, this is my first t-word fic on Tumblr. It's just a fun exercise for writing... although it was hard for me to get through lol I usually get so flustered that I end up not finishing them.

I'm not too worried about making this perfect. I just wanted to get something out to share that I made :) Hope you enjoy!!~

A and B walk into the kitchen as I bang my head on the countertop. "You're still stuck on that chapter?" B asks before grabbing a box of raspberries from the fridge.

“I. Can't. Think. Of. Anything." I fight the urge to smash my face on the keyboard.

"You'll get through it easy peasy, lemon squeezy," A says before grabbing a plate of pork belly. The two of them make their way to the fluffy couch in the living room.

I wish I could watch the movie with them instead... How hard is it to add foreshadowing to the stupid chapter?

"Okay," I mutter to myself. I reread the last couple of paragraphs to refresh my mind. So the main character has to say something stupid so the supporting characters can kick off the plot. Alright. I can do this.

Tap.

I delete the letter. I tap a couple more keys, but I frown and smash the backspace button. After a few minutes of blank staring, I manage to complete a few sentences.

Which all suck.

Growling, I slam the laptop shut and bury my face in my arms on top. "I'm the worst writer in the world."

B sighs. "Take a break already. You've been at that same piece for over a week."

"Sure, why don't I just give up on this already? I'm already a failure."

"No, you're not!" A says.

"Don't make me laugh."

I wallow in the silence until B finally speaks up, "Maybe the two of us could help you with your funk."

"What, are you both miracle workers for writer's - hey!" Someone wraps their arms around my torso from behind and pulls me off the bar stool. I nearly knock it over flailing my legs around until B snatches them.

"Got 'em!" B cheers.

"To the living room!" A says.

As much as I try to glare at them, my mouth stretches into a smile at the silliness. They maneuver their way into the living room, setting me down on the carpet. "Whew, thanks - wait." My pulse quickens when A pulls my arms over my head and pins them to the floor with their knees. My eyes widen when B yanks off my shoes and sits on my shins.

I tug at my arms, but my hoodie inches up my belly. I wiggle my feet, but my socks start bunching around my heels.

They have me trapped. Too well. "W...What's going on?"

"You've been in that writer's funk for too long," B says, leaning closer and smirking.

"So, we decided to help you," A adds, booping my nose.

I gulp. "What...what exactly are you gonna do?"

"That's the best part." B's smirk turns devilish. "You're going to narrate a story of what we do to you."

"And we have the perfect prompt for you." A flutters their fingers against my ears.

"Hey!" I squeak, scrunching my shoulders.

"Consider that a prologue."

Oh.

Oh. Crap.

"And you keep going," B continues, "until the very. End. Of the story."

Already, I'm laughing from nerves. "Uh, hehe, we really don't have to do this, right?"

"And have you thinking you're a failure?" B taps their fingers on the carpet, dangerously close to my exposed sides. I shudder and giggle. "Not a chance, buddy."

"Aw, you're already laughing," A coos. "And we haven't even done anything yet."

I curl my toes. "Come on! That's not fair! It's not my fault I thought B was gonna dig into my sides and - EEEHEEHEEhahaha!" I wiggle under the rapidly poking fingers. Ugh, I can't block the attacks!

"You mean like this?" B asks in a cruelly innocent voice.

"Yes! YEHEHES! Hahaha stop!" The tingles remain even after B's hands pull away, leaving me gasping.

B grins mischievously. "You're already out of breath after that? However are you going to get through this story?"

All I can do is whine.

"So..." A bends down and boops my nose. "What's my turn like?"

I already giggle at the thought. "Do I have to tell?"

"Well, you're supposed to show." A smirks wickedly. "But we can do that for you."

I gulp. "Well...you can start with...my ribs." I flinch when A's fingertips lightly spider up and down my rib cage.

"I start here, do I?" A's voice lilts in my ear. "So that means I can go...here?"

Laughter bursts out as the spidering gets faster and goes across my bare belly! "Nohoho NOOHOOHOHOOHAHAHA!"

"But that's what you told us," B said, "so A is showing you how it goes."

"Hahaha switch, swihihihitch!"

A stops, but B traces my kneecaps. I can't kick B off, despite how much I'm wriggling. "That's not - eek! - what I meheheheant."

"You said to switch, yes?"

Ugh, if I could just swipe that smirk off B's face... "I didn't mehean trahahacihihing!"

"Why didn't you say so?" B's fingertips trail over my knee and squeeze the top. After a few pinches, they trace down my knees and squeeze under!

I yelp, then melt into giggles.

"Aww, look how blushy you are," B says.

A grins. "The two methods are working!"

"I just - hahaha - wanted one kihihind! Not two! Hahaha!" I can't shake B off my legs.

"Hey, I'm just showing you. You're the one telling." Extra pinches. "Not my fault if you leave out certain details."

"Sh...Shaddup!"

The two of them gasp. B pulls their hands away, letting me gather my senses. "Did you just tell me to shut up?" they say in a melodramatic tone.

"How rude!" A pouts, placing a hand on their chest. "We're only trying to help our little friend with their funk."

"Just for that..."

I don't like their smug faces. I don't...

"PLOT TWIST!"

I shriek when A digs into my sides and B flutters at my heels. "The characters take over the story and attack the author!"

"H-Hey, wahahait!" I'm utterly stuck. I can't even wriggle side-to-side to escape the rib counting! "Nohohoho! Hehehelp!"

"Sorry, buddy," A says, plunging into my pits. "But we need to make sure you have plenty of inspiration for writing." The hoodie fabric does nothing to keep my sensitive spots safe.

"I do! I dohohoho! Hahahaha!"

I gasp as cold air hits my soles. B tugs off the rest of my socks before lightly scratching at my toes. "EEEP! Hahahaha nohoho!"

"This is what you get for telling me to shut up." B grins down at me.

My cheeks hurt from smiling. "Okay okahahahahay! I'm sohohorry heeheehee!"

"Are you though?"

I can't talk anymore. I'm laughing too much.

Finally, they stop. I cough as I catch my breath. "You two...are...the worst."

"But you had fun, right?" B's hands are still on my toes as a silent threat. "And you got some inspiration to finish that stupid chapter."

I nod.

"There we go!" A says with one more poke to my belly. "Now you won't feel like a failure."

"Can...can I get...water?"

A and B help me sit up and guide me to the couch to rest. B pours me a cup of water as A lets me lay against their shoulder. "Once you get a hold of yourself," they said, "you can get back to writing."

"Just remember," B adds. "If you ever get into another funk, we're gonna have to do this all over again."

I instinctively flinch and bury my face in my hands. But...maybe this method of dealing with writer's block isn't so bad.

[a03-anxiousandafraid]

🍺

Thank you so much for the ask! and AAAAAAAAA DAMN THAT IS A GREAT QUESTION!!!!!

🍺 My biggest mistake is like MULTIPLE mistakes that compound on each other. For drawing I know I should do warm ups but I am either too lazy to do it or I can't forgive myself for how "awful" it is even though the point is to loosen up. It gets to me at times and kinda puts me in a funk. I also make the mistake of constantly comparing what I do to other people's art and it makes me loose steam FAST. I also sit in a horrible shrimp curve on the couch with my tablet or sketchbook and not only is that bad for my back but it's honestly terrible posture to be able to draw effectively. It's kinda like I'm setting myself up for disappointment which is dumb cause drawing should be fun more than anything else. These things all kinda hit me at once like a bad cocktail and I need to stop tbh. Just turn off my brain and draw explicitly for fun. Just vibe.

For writing I always find myself doing this "perfectionist procrastination" kinda thing where if my surroundings and mood aren't "right" then I cannot for the life of me get the words out of my head and onto paper. I really need to just throw words down and chug along but I have to straight ahead my writing otherwise it just doesn't come out of my brain cohesively. But that's what proof-reading is for and I need to remember it's okay to rewrite passages as many times as needed.

Thank you so much for this one! It's kinda nice recognizing and admitting bad creative habits. Maybe saying them out loud will help me be brave enough to face them head on :)

[toxicnorn]

i didn't really do this for the sake of nostalgia but i was looking through some past blogs and internet IDs of mine

i'm a very different person from who i was when i originally joined tumblr. i approach writing in a very different way. my opinions on a lot of things have changed a lot. i really cannot give two shits about most discourse nowadays that i used to have opinions on.

when it comes to creative work, i had a lot more energy and confidence, but this was a double-edged sword because for a long period of time, i was single-handedly focused on rp as a distraction from some real heavy shit irl and my fandom stuff wasn't necessarily healthy for me. this is something i've struggled with on and off over the years because i tend to latch really hard to fiction and characters when things are bad. i wrote some really good sentences though and some good characters. i keep trying to recreate the same feelings by recycling characters, but they're different each time because nostalgia's a false thing and you can't just make the same thing twice but different and expect it to be the same.

my latest attempts at fic and rp are trying to come from a different source, which i think is healthier in the long run.

i was like super depressed from 2014-2018 and then the election pummeled me into a different funk for two years, which was better in some ways but worse in others. around 2019, i was finally able to move out of my parents' house for some time. it wasn't very far but it did help me clear my head a bit.

then 2020 happened. i moved back in with my parents for a few months and it was kind of awful, but then i moved back and things were actually better on my end for a bit, but i was still very weird and squirrelish.

2021 happened somewhere along those lines and i don't remember most of 2021 because it was a hell year of going to doctor's appointments until the very end of it. i moved across the country in 2022 to be with my gf (hey bb love you very much if you are reading this) and for the first time maybe ever, i feel like i'm in a pretty good place. i know that there is a still a lot of work ahead of me to figure out How to Be A Person 101 and get over my hangups but i'm really happy.

anyway, when your creative output has been based entirely on distracting yourself from blue moods up until now, it's a bit wild trying to readjust your brain to go "hey, actually, it's okay to like things just to like them, you can fuel yourself with other emotions, having characters that live in your head is not cringe or something." i'm having fun though, even if i can't manage the output that i'd like to.

this isn't me gloomyposting btw. i think if anything, it's the opposite because things are pretty okay. i might have issues that creatively frustrate me and i might have flaws i'm trying to work on and of course learning How To Social is always an ongoing effort and we aren't even getting into the ongoing saga of Getting My Bran To Work On Medication (on one hand, it's been great because i have the least amount of anxiety than i have ever had in my life; on the other hand, my brain feels like it's two feet out of reach more days than i'd like it to and i'm really frustrated by the fact that i cannot make the connections between thoughts and actions, like my brain just stutters before comprehending that ii should do very basic actions), but all in all, things are great and i'm excited for the future.

there are a lot of people i've lost track of that vanished off tumblr after 2018. i realized a small handful of people were assholes. some of the people i used to know seem to have fallen off the fact of the internet entirely and i doubt i'll ever learn what happened to them. at least one of my very early internet friends died, klim. i don't really know what happened to most of the people i knew in those days when i was on gaia online but i hope that they're doing well. i was a very different person when i was on that site but i was also 16, so of course i was.

anyway, i talk different now. i communicate differently. my internet voice has changed. i used to use random caps for everything. i don't capitalize shit anymore and you can't make me.

i don't really want to get back into the mindsets of me of years prior, but i do want to be able to tap into that well of creative potential because it seemed like i had so much energy for writing, for talking about writing, for sharing and brainstorming and thinking. i know that i am a person capable of writing a novella in the same of a few weeks so i want to regain that.

but i want to have more fun with it this time. i want it to belong to me and not belong to various plagues and maladies. i think deep down, there is a part of me that misses being nine and thinking i had invented fanfiction and talking about my zelda fic with all my friends without a hint of self-consciousness, but, like, with less 1999 going on because the 90s normalized a lot of shit that's not great.

anyway i don't really know where i'm going with this, so i am going to rotate characters in my mind before i go to bed

[the-next-miss-american-trash]

I really need to start speaking my feelings out more. It's the reason no one fucking knows the real me. I craved the image of being innocent and happy, silly and supportive. Nothing bothered me.

I was a false open book. I'm severely depressed and have had suicidal thoughts and tendencies as since I was 12. That's over 12 years now. I was too coward to actually self harm. I was too cowardly to run away from home when at my lowest. I was abused physically and emotionally. I'm on the mend finally with my family regarding that.

When I first fell into depression and my grades tanked, my parents were already with the counselor when they called me in to switch my classes. She asked me right in front of them if there was anything I wanted to tell them or my friends. But I wouldn't even be able to admit to my friends at that time I was suicidal.

Our house burnt down and I believe it's God's punishment for how terrible our family was to each other. I felt it was a personal punishment and test to get me out of my funk. I failed that test if so and continue to fail it as we keep losing houses and keep moving. We've been in 7+ houses.

I rejected my religion as a Catholic because of their awful judgement on the gays. My friends were experimenting at that time, and my love for them saved me from being a homophobic religious person. I rejected the church because of the physical abuse I endured by my mother when I started to refuse to go.

When I was punished by having my phones taken from me and the wifi shut off, it caused more arguments as I felt I would lose the only connection to people I had, and no outlet to vent my frustrations. It led to a dissociative fight with my mom where I told her how much I wanted to kill myself. And she told me "just do it".

I'm so traumatized by anger. The first time I felt true unfiltered blind red rage, I was arguing with my dad about... something I can't even remember. I think he slapped me, which put me in a rage. I only remember staring into his stomach and thinking "he could probably take the hit if I punch him there. It's soft enough. He won't feel it. It's okay. Punch him".

I had to grab a children's chair to defend myself as I screamed for help. My family still make a joke of it whenever I get slightly mad. I've broken a door with my anger. I was immediately terrified that I'd hurt my siblings.

My brain is trying to stop me now.

When I graduated highschool, I was so jaded by the education system, and how fucking stupid everything was, that I knew I was never going to go to college. But my older sister tried her best to make me go, helping me sign up. Bad timing, because it was during another fragile time of my life. I dropped out not even one week in. I'm never going to return.

I see no future for myself. I believe dreams are fake and mine are particularly unrealistic that I'm never going to be successful. My dreams are pathetic and they were never meant to be. I refuse to work. I'm too scared. I physically want to vomit whenever I lie that I'm worth something and can be reliable enough to do a job. The past two were horrible I hated them I never want to have a repeat of those jobs.

I never really stopped wanting to die. And I was always too scared to admit it. Because I don't want anybody's help. I refuse to have anyone save me. And I hate when people care about me, because admitting this will only hurt them.

This is how I have always felt since I was young. But I was always filtering it. Masking it. Because I would inconvenience others. I'm too much of a struggle to deal with. I just. Finally feel free to admit it. I've made some improvements to my mental health. But these thoughts never went away

[imperialmask]

Homeworld Bound Chapter 7: Patriarchs [Part 2]

"Another brother? What?" Dan asks, confused.

"Yeah, here in Salem. I was gonna go meet him in about an hour if you wanna come with." Mick suggested.

"I mean, sure. I don't see why not." Dan answered.

"He'll be a good fit for The Watch, a strong fighter, think he already joined COG actually." Mick explains.

"Might know him." Dan suggested, taking a bite out of his pizza.

"Not too sure about that, pretty sure he dropped out after awhile. I found the guy basically rotting in his apartment, only was able to get him out of his funk with Kip's help." Mick said back.

"Well, we'll see." Dan said.

///

Dan sits in shock on a bench as Mick talks to a man covered in yellow fur. He sits in a hoodie, joggers and a white shirt peeking over his hoodie like a baby kangaroo looking out of his mother's pouch. His eyes were weird, black eyes with no iris and only a pure white pupil, it was unmistakable for who it was, the living legend of COG, the man with Special Tier potential, Mega Fressbar, The Kinetic Man. Mick was in different clothes now too, a brown zip up jumper and a black shirt beneath with an black over coat, combat pants and boots.

"So...your brother...is...THE Mega Fressbar?" Dan asks in awe.

"Half brother." Mega corrects, Mick punches him in the shoulder and Mega laughs.

"God...you're my hero sir." Dan says to Mega, reaching for a hand shake. Mega belches loudly, wipes his mouth and then reaches for the hand, shaking it violently.

"It's a pleasure, i guess." Mega smiles.

"You should go fight him Dan." Mick suggests, Dan frowns.

"No, no, I can't do that." Dan says back.

"Why not? Afraid you'll get destroyed?" Mega asks.

"No i'm just afraid if we get him moving too much, he might end up breaking his hip." Dan quips, the other 2 laugh.

"No but seriously, let's do it." Mega tells him, getting up.

"Why? We're supposed to be training Mick for his duel." Dan says, slightly unnerved.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He's prepared enough. Gotta make sure you're also fit to lead though, don't we?" Mega tells Dan, extending his hand out. Dan nods and reaches for it, getting pulled up.

Dan and Mega are now within a fenced off Tennis court, Mick still on the bench outside. Dan looks at Mega and prepares to fight, putting himself into a fighting stance, Mega stands normally, drinking a soda out of a can before throwing it on the ground when he's finished.

"I'm a little rusty but don't go easy on me kid, alright?" Mega tells Dan, Dan nods.

"FIGHT!" Mick yells. Dan immediately runs at Mega and activates Azure to read his ability. Mega's ability is "Kinetic Manipulation", a lot like Mick's it is the ability to control energy at the molecular level. While originally the ability was control over his own kinetic energy and the kinetic energy of anything he touches or in a short range of him, through a series of Mystical Vows (a contract with the soul if you will), his ability was changed into something far more deadly. Mega cannot increase the kinetic energy of an object or person, but he can remove it, nor can Mega build up kinetic energy to do a static shock or increase the force behind his movement, finally Mega can not use his own mana to create or dispel extra kinetic energy. Yet in return, he can convert kinetic energy into mana without any repercussions on control with no upper limit to how much mana he can store, he can still also steal the kinetic energy from others and from his own moves.

Essentially, the more Mega moves and the more Mega hits his opponent, the stronger he becomes throughout a fight with seemingly no limit to his own potential. The only downside to this is that by surpassing his own potential, he must keep hitting in order to keep building up energy or else his output will start to pivot back to his regular limit, yet this is no issue for someone with years of COG training and experience under his belt. Even if Mega is deflected or blocked, he still gains mana, just as long as he hits. Mega is one of the very few people to break the system of grading, having been placed in the tier made specially for him, anomaly.

Dan's fear of fighting him were founded when he felt Mega's first punch, it knocked the wind straight out of him like spilling a bottle of ketchup. Dan reeled back in pan before Mega went in for a kick to the head, Dan catches it with his hand and attempts to throw him yet Mega reaches for the ground and is able to grab on, knocking Dan off his feet and sending him stumbling. Mega propels himself into another kick towards Dan but Dan is able to stop himself from falling over with a quick rock pillar for support, Dan then uses his shield to block the kick yet the pure force from it sends him flying backwards. Mega falls directly to the floor but catches himself and gets up, Dan skids along the floor of the court and stops just before the fence, by then Mega is already running up to him and going in for a right hook. Dan blocks. Mega immediately goes in for a left, Dan blocks again. Mega continually throws punches rhythmically like a drum in a marching band, yet the tempo and the force keeps increasing. Dan knows eventually his shield won't work anymore and Mega will break his defence so he attempts something. After about 10 seconds of this, Mega goes in for a powerful swing, charging up his mana in his fist. He goes in for the killing blow only for Dan to drop his shield in the air and duck below, Mega punches the shield out of the court and Dan gut punches him in the chest before hitting a right hook, then a left and finally a kick to the side. Mega dashes out of the way of the kick and smiles.

"Well then, you got moves i'll give you that." Mega tells Dan, smiling with a trickle of blood going down his nose.

"That punch could've killed me if i didn't dodge." Dan complains.

"But you did dodge." Mega answers, smiling. He goes in for a kick which Dan grabs yet Mega grabs Dan's arm and uses it to propel his body around to punch Dan in the face. Dan is completely shocked by this move and stumbles backwards again. Suddenly, Mega dashes around and behind Dan faster than he anticipated yet Dan is able to throw off Mega's punch by upsetting his stance with a rock bump. Dan sweeps Mega and punches him into the ground and holds him there as a rock pillar surrounds them both, the rocks breaking on Mega's body and avoiding Dan perfectly.

Mega punches Dan in the face, stopping the pillar and throwing Dan backwards. Mega gets up, visibly bruised while Dan's wounds are healing.

"You really are a tough nut to crack with that healing factor of yours." Mega points out.

"Thanks." Dan says.

"One more goal and we'll call it quits, kay?" Mega suggests, Dan nods. Mega suddenly disappears and reappears infront of Dan, Dan is shocked and goes to block Mega's right hook yet Mega swaps to a grab and punches with his left, throwing Dan in the direction of the punch and onto the ground. Dan loses consciousness for a second but readjusts himself to get up, Mega looks at him and smirks. Dan realises that Mega has used up all the mana gained by kinetic energy, yet knows that Mega can still pack a punch. From documents, Dan can guess that Mega is stronger than him even without the added scaling from his ability, yet he has 2 things Mega doesn't: range and versatility.

Dan runs back in and casts a small barrier around his body, like a second layer or skin, and goes in for a swing on Mega. Mega grabs him yet Dan breaks out of his grasp and grabs the back of Mega's head, dunking him into his knee. Mega goes in for a swing on Dan's face and it hits yet Mega notices his mana not increase from it. Mega looks back at Dan.

"Clever." He compliments. He sees Dan charging up a fireball and he fires it at Mega, Mega attempts to dash right but is tripped up by a rock stump in the ground. Mega is narrowly out of the way of the fireball but is slammed by Dan's lightning spell. Mega is kept on the floor and Dan walks up to him, putting his foot on his chest. Mega grabs his leg and pushes him off, running straight for Dan and grabbing his throat. All Dan does is extend his arm out and call for his shield. His shield flies back into his arm which he slinks back behind him, making it wack Mega in the back of the head at incredible speeds. Mega, not noticing the shield, is unable to mitigate damage using his ability and is hit with the full force of it, it knocks him out.

Dan sighs and Mick walks into the court.

"He's out cold." Mick says, kicking Mega's head.

"How'd you even find out he was your brother in the first place?" Dan asks.

"Well, my dad made him live here. Didn't want him back home on Gen." Mick explains as if that's a sufficient answer.

"But why?" Dan asks, Mick seems taken aback.

"Hell if i know, my dad was a weird guy with 3 weird kids." Mick says back, almost slightly offended. Mick picks Mega up.

"I'll get him back home."

"Right, just make sure you're ready for your fight tomorrow." Dan tells him. Mick smirks.

"Yeah, i'm ready." Mick tells him.

After dropping Mega off in his dorm room in the new Watch Compound, Mick walks into his lab. He opens a cabinet and smirks, a sword lays in there. It's a small thin thing with a dark stone brown handle with yellow lights, a small yellow light tracks from the handle and through the blade, ending just before the top. Mick smirks.

"Let's get to work."

[veryflirtytransportalate]

"You know, for someone who just woke up from a 200-year nap, you're pretty easy on the eyes." - Sizzel, on the topic of... Sizzel

< Previous > . . . < Next >

Taking another off day, since I'm busy as hell, so here's some additional shots from my bunny shoot.

My attempt to steal power from the Mayor of Diamond City isn't going well. No one responded to my attempts to generate an impromptu emergency election that would allow me to oust the mayor through semi-legitimate means, so I followed up with an op-ed calling gently for rebellion. I published both of these things in the paper, and came to an awful realization.

Mayor McDonough is the only one who reads Piper's paper.

I walked around and the only article anyone talks about is the one the Mayor got up on stage and explained. I don't even think anyone read it, I think they just know what it's about from hearsay. Can they read? I mean funk, seriously no one gives a damn that I'm calling for insurrection against Diamond City authority?! I'm pretty open about how they'd be getting on the ground floor of an incredible business opportunity! No wonder everyone ignores Piper, all she talks about is reading and writing to a community of... of... what... what do any of these citizens do? Anyone but the merchants got a hobby?

New theory: literally everyone in Diamond City is a synth.

(Thoughts on the new Fallout show below the cut. I haven't seen it and also hate the plot of modern Fallouts so, uh... let's just call it high in sodium, you get me?)

< Previous > . . . < Next >

Hello! I am actually very busy.

Happy show day. I guess they moved it from a day early to two days early? I thought it was coming out in December?

I'm... trying to get excited about the show. I want to be excited about the show.

I'm...

I'm not excited about the show.

I want to care... the show is going to be well made. Amazon money? Westworld guy? Sure. Whatever. I can picture it. Great lighting. The post-processing, well blended. Sound will do that thing where it gets loud and then suddenly cuts off. Dramatic. Vault-Tec. Ghouls. Vertibirds. Power armor. Hair. Make up. Last looks. Camera. Rolling. Action. Cut.

My favorite part of what Fallout used to be was that it was a strange blend of isometric RPG with the Star-Trek approach to episodic speculative fiction, approaching real world problems through the lens of a very non-real world, and trying out approaches to complex issues of governance through that frame in a collaborative form of fiction where your actions defined your character and the world around them.

It was not to see a beautiful actor in heavy make-up with perfect hair pretend to be in a gun fight. If I wanted to see a beautiful actor in heavy make-up with perfect hair pretend to be in a gun fight, I'd just watch John Wick. Or a Star War. Or a Marvel.

I hate marketability. I hate the way in which everything has to appeal to a consumer base that has had their options for entertainment sliced away until only the Disney remains. Amazon is just nerd Disney, these days, too. I hate money. Can't wait to see Fallout cross-promoted Capital One Credit Card commercials.

But more than anything else... the writing in Fallout 4 was so bad, so without understanding of using dialogue to represent character to facilitate plot, that the entire world lost a layer of joy. We're never going to have an intelligent Deathclaw ever again: I believe, based on the general writing quality that was permitted in Fallout 4, that if they made a sentient Deathclaw it would be some big twist that it's leading a raider gang, being answered to by between one and five henchmen. Never will we have communities that look like raiders but are actually engaging with the world around them with long term objectives and goals - the way the word "raider" is used is fucked, it applies a moral justification to seeing someone and blamoing them because they had the wrong name tag on. If you met some people that you had a moral justification to un-do, it was because they began a fight with you. Misdoings were just as dire, and writing hinted at additional atrocities than we saw in the explorable maps, but you discover these things by interacting with the sprites, both in a conversation mini-game and in the primary simulational RPG layer. Sorry, but hey, get a cool raider-y FO76 skin, it's only $15. A part of me doesn't wanna see a show celebrating that.

On the other hand... it's gonna be Amazon money well constructed, and, what else am I doing with my time, I guess?

< Previous > . . . < Next >

[totallynotreadingatwork]

Mini Book Reviews Again

The Cargo from Neira by Alys Clare, book 5 of the Gabriel Taverner series - Been a little while since I read one of this series because I was all caught up to publication, but I don't think that's going to matter now because it felt like this was the last book in the series. If so, it was a fitting sendoff, and a good mystery with a decent little happy ending for all involved. These books aren't sweeping epics or anything groundbreaking, but if you feel like you'd like 250-page historical mysteries then this is as good a place to start as any.

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke, book 1 of the Inkworld series (of which there's apparently going to be a new book of this year?!?!) - Read this literally over a decade ago and decided to reread it now and god I'm glad I did; for starters, this book captures the joy of reading and love of books so well it's unbelievable. Second; it's just a really good story. I know it's part of a trilogy but honestly you could read it as a standalone if you wanted. Funke is a brilliant storyteller, and even though it's a kids book it's perfect for adult fans of fantasy too.

The Owl Service by Alan Garner - I'm not going to lie, this one was a bit odd in terms of language and sentence structure, but once you get past all that... the story is even weirder. It's sort of exploring one of the stories of the Mabinogion about Lleu Llaw Gyfes and Blodeuwedd, and I just thought it was a really interesting take on it. You see all of these re-explorations of Greek and Roman myths going on at the moment, and for some reason I've never thought to look into similar things going on with Welsh stories, but honestly this one was brilliant, if a bit mad.

Into the Fog by Alexia Muelle-Rushbrook, book 3 of The Minority Rule trilogy - Plagued by a lot of the things I didn't like about the previous two books; supposedly childfree main character gets pregnant and loves it; "xyz system is wrong and immoral and can't work but oh thank goodness it worked for me". I'm not a fan. The ending was also a naff copout, I felt, because half the point of this book was that the government shouldn't get to control your life, and the protagonist kind of ended the series by saying agreeing with that, but only because the goal the government was trying to achieve by controlling everyone will end up being achieved anyway if they stop, implying that if that wasn't the case then controlling everyone would be the correct choice to make.

Unrest by Michelle Harrison - Another reread from when I was younger. It really freaked me out at the time, but didn't have quite the same impact as an adult, partly because I'm not as easily spooked now, and partly because I remembered what happened. Still, I'd recommend it to any young horror fans. I've enjoyed it even the second time around; Michelle Harrison is an excellent author.

Blue Bloods by Melissa De La Cruz, book 1 of the Blue Bloods series - Listen. Listen. This book is trash. It's kind of unbelievably rubbish. But I love it so damn much. It's from the Twilight era, this one being published in 2006, and it shows. It's hastily written, highly problematic, and seems to be a combination of Twilight and Fallen by Lauren Kate because the vampires in this book are actually angels. Like I said, it's trash and bonkers but I enjoy it because I'm trash and bonkers.

Ghost Knight by Cornelia Funke - I don't have much to say about this one really. My mum bought it for me off a charity book table for 50p so I read it even though it's definitely aimed at like... 7 year olds? It was okay. I prefer books with more substance but it was good for what it was and I have since passed it on to an actual seven year old.

Unwell Women by Elinor Cleghorn - A depressing read in all honesty; like you know the medical world is awful to women, but you never quite realise the extent of that, and it's crazy to see it all laid out there in black and white. I know it's not the world's most accurate account of the medical history of women, and some liberties have been taken to make it more dramatic in places, but I feel it should be appreciated for the spotlight it managed to help put on women's health.

The Spook's Revenge by Joseph Delaney, book 13 of the Spooks series - One hell of an ending to the series I'll tell you that. I do wish it had spent less time and effort setting up the next series however; I feel like sewing the seeds for a spinoff is fine, but if you do that too much in a final novel then it detracts from the main story and can make the ending feel a bit hollow because you know the victory won't last. Still, I enjoyed it, and I'm very glad to have come back to this series.

The Secret Chapter by Genevieve Cogman, book 6 of the Invisible Library series - So this one is a heist book. I really enjoyed it. One thing I enjoy about this series is how each book is still introducing new characters and having new adventures. There's obviously overarching plot and you shouldn't read them out of order, but you probably could if you didn't mind missing out on the background stuff. Really, Cogman's books are just a very fun time.

[folliesofmiceandmen]

It was an annoying habit, really, the way she still got so defensive over a guy who didn't even like her anymore, or maybe never liked her to begin with, but Ellie felt it rising up in her. Force of habit, one of those that was hard to break. When they'd actually been together, defending Thomas was like a second nature kind of thing, though, so was defending her friends and her brother to Thomas, which probably should have told her something. It was a good thing she was so stubborn, really, or he might have ended up completely cutting her off from all of her friends and relatives before she'd wised up and broken things off. She forced herself not to say anything now, to let the subject die, because she didn't want to ruin the mood of the night, and she didn't want to defend him anymore in the first place.

"Sure you are." Ellie managed to bring herself back from that momentary funk with a sarcastic little chuckle, downing the rest of her beer before leaning back against the back of the couch and relaxing against the cushions with an easy sort of comfort. She started to say something else, but Henry cut her off before she could and she rolled her eyes again. This was definitely something to look into. She would have to talk to Dev, Dev knew everything. "Just because she agreed to get drinks or food with you doesn't mean you're her type. Just means she likes drinks and food on someone elses dime. But if you're going to flirt with her, don't do it in front of me."

There was a long pause as Henry's question sank in, and Ellie sighed a little, chewing on her bottom lip for a minute or two, thinking a little too long and a little too hard about the answer, trying to figure out how to word it as carefully as she could. "I... know how you feel about dad, and about what he did, and I don't disagree with you that it was totally scummy and awful..." She was looking away now, at anything but her brother, feeling the heat on her cheeks as it felt like she was a total traitor. "But I don't hate him, he's still dad, and its kind of different for me, you know? He gave me his last name, not because he had to because I was born to him, but because he wanted to, because he wanted me to be his kid, too. And I... I'm having a harder time letting go of that than I thought I would."

"Nope, I don't know." Henry shrugged nonchalantly. Not only had he never seen Thomas do a single nice thing in his life, but also he had never seen the other man be nice to his own sister, so Ellie's words fell short in his ears. He got it, though. Love sometimes made one forget how things truly were, and maybe that was why Henry was so reluctant to let someone take over his heart like that. He'd seen what had happened to people he cared about. He'd seen how Thomas had mistreated Ellie and she kept making excuses for him because she loved him. However, he didn't love Thomas, so he could see exactly what the other man was like: selfish, annoyingly insecure and tremendously stupid for letting someone as brilliant as Ellie to dim her light in his presence. "But we're not going to keep talking about him, are we? It's going to ruin pizza night and I'd rather it not be ruined, Ellie-Jean."

Growing up, Henry would make the toddler version of Ellie laugh by singing Billie Jean to her and changing the lyrics to make her name fit the song. Granted, it was definitely not the type of song children should be singing along to, but it was all in good fun. Back then, they were all happily innocent. It was nice to think about it.

As they moved along and changed subject to Ellie's bookshop owner friend Duri, Henry felt the annoyance he was previously feeling because of the whole Thomas thing, slowly dissipate from his body the less they talked about him. "I'll have you know... I'm everyone's type, sister." He smirked, cocking his head to the side before reaching in for a second pizza slice. Duri didn't seem to have disliked him, so Ellie was probably wrong about that. "I'm getting her a signed copy of my latest book—her request!" He interjected, in case Ellie was going in for a nag or something. "And we may have implied getting drinks and dinner, so, like I said... I'm everyone's type." He winked.

When she brought up the Huang last name, it actually made Henry think about something he'd been meaning to ask her for a while now. "Why don't you? I mean... use the Huang's name?" / @folliesofmiceandmen