#not eating keeps u clean
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tamagotchikgs · 5 months ago
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every once in awhile im forced 2 the realization that i will never have a healthy relationship w food and i do not like that i will shut it right back away as fast as i can
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lilnasxvevo · 6 months ago
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A new bookstore opened yesterday not too far from where I work so I went down there to check it out and really didn’t see anything I liked (the bookstore is not fully set up yet so I’m gonna come back again in a few weeks or months when they have more. you know. Books) but finally I went up to the register and I was like “Hey when I walked past this place on Wednesday there was a book on pirate history in the window but it’s not there anymore? Do you know if you still have a copy or…?” and the lady at the register LIT UP and said “Be right back! I don’t think we sold it, no!” and the other person nearby told me “She was the right person to ask!” and then she came back and sold me the pirate book. So the new bookstore gets my vote because not a lot of small indie bookstores that I’ve seen have books on the history of piracy. Yay!!!!
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corv-idae · 14 days ago
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Just got called entitled bc sometime I put my name on my groceries before I put them in my fridge… ah
#thank u for that father of mine#he said this to my mother not to me#but also#no one is stopping you from putting your name on groceries that you buy for yourself#sorry that when I buy a $15 block of artisan cheese I don’t want to share it with 6 other people#and I make that known to them#his specific comment was about how#everyone is so entitled putting their names on their groceries but they can all help themselves to mine whenever#which#okay#I’m the only person with their name on anything in the fridge#and again this is because I buy specialty juices or cheese that isn’t in our normal grocery roster#and his groceries are for making dinner with usually#not to mention I make dinner on Thursday for my whole family and half of my groceries are for that#anything I need that we don’t typically get when my mom goes to the store is something I go purchase#any produce or leftover food from what I make for dinner is up for grabs#but my cheeses and juice r mine#so to prevent them from being taken my name is there#if u don’t want things you buy to get taken this seems like fair practice#no one is stopping u from doing the same thing I do so your stuff doesn’t get eaten#bc again there’s 7 people who live here and it’s hard to keep track of who buys what#so obviously my name is on things for me#sorry for ranting on a Tumblr post that’s just stupid#sorry you decided to have a family and now have to provide for them as a result#I am 23 and I pay rent and I (none of ur other kids) go out of my way to cook for everyone every Thursday#and I do dishes and clean the kitchen before and after and whenever I have time during the week#but no I’m super entitled bc sometimes I want to be the only one who eats the artisan olives I bought for myself
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screamingay · 5 months ago
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somehow these current roommates we have are the worst that ive known yet and last semester we literally had a girl who smoked cigs IN her bedroom. list of grievances below lol
#first of all they turn all the lights on all the time. the other day i was hanging out in the living room w one light on bc it was light#enough outside thru the windows and one of them walked in and flipped another light on automatically. then walked through#the living room right to her bedroom... girl youre not even using this room and i was clearly fine with the light level??#they always have all 3 kitchen lights on when they cook and dont turn them off plus none of them have lamps#they all use the Big LED Ceiling Light in their bedrooms which is baffling to us#they dont know how to organize the kitchen and they took up so many of the cabinets with bullshit. like 3 pans here a few plates there#we have like 4 cabinets worth of food and even more of pots and pans and shit bc this is everything we own#and we cant afford to use disposable everything like some of them do#theyre always leaving the fridge open while they cook too and i have to physically hold myself back from becoming my mom#and yelling at them to close the fridge when theyre not actively getting smth out of it!! like theyll stand there cooking and have it open#for 2 minutes straight#theres only room for one water filter pitcher in the fridge and one of them brought a big one which is nice but theyre always forgetting to#refill it which defeats the purpose of even having it#and they always somehow start cooking right when we decide we need to eat#one of them sent this long sort of condescending post abt ants and how it stresses him out when the kitchen is messy so we all need to clean#more and try harder to keep ants away as if 1) ants care at all abt dishes in the sink or stains on the stove and 2) as if the ants will#stop coming around if theres no food out in this building where there are notoriously always ants even on the 4th floor#(we are ground floor this time) and 3) as if he isn't one of the people leaving food around and not taking the trash out#nobody responded to it in the groupchat lmao bc he sounds like a fucking cop!! and is dating an rotc guy??? and also is a streamer or just#likes to play games on vc with friends bc hes always very loudly doing that#but obviously we have sex all the time so we're at a sort of loud noise stalemate where neither of us can complain abt the other#to be clear this is in no way the absolute worst situation theyre nice enough people and havent reported us for anything (they both work for#student housing -_-) and generally things go okay in the apartment#but like. ive never been this annoyed this often with any other roommates#ALSO someone spilled soy sauce all over our designated level of the fridge door where we had all our little bottles of stuff#but also a carton a Paper Carton of milk and a pack of butter standing upright which soaked up the soy sauce and for several days#even after id cleaned the bottom of the carton the best i could i swore it tasted like soy sauce from it soaking into the bottom or smth#but it's still all over everything in there bc it was so much it like. pooled in there and splattered on everything#like. u see that happen u clean it up wtf.??#anyway i just felt like i needed to complain and see if im being silly or if these things really are so annoying
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rowanhoney · 1 year ago
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Man Americans weird me out so much
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there-goes-trouble · 2 years ago
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The people with the most un-seeable floors always talk about how bad and scary minimalism is babe ur just afraid of cleaning
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yourbleedingh3art · 2 months ago
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kiwipit · 7 months ago
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sometimes I think abt how unkindly phobias and general fears are handled in my family
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hoshifighting · 2 months ago
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Two words. Dilf Cheol. (I am on the brink of insanity thank yewww)
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dilf!seungcheol
WARNINGS: smut, fluff, crying, marriage, his kid loves u, shy dilf!seungcheol at the beginning.
oh man, dilf!seungcheol though? i think about it every single day, i swear. and yeah, it all starts with that awkward-ass moment at the café. he’s standing there all buff and shy, trying to work up the nerve to ask for your number, his daughter hanging onto his leg like she’s his bodyguard. her big, curious eyes peeking out at you while he stumbles over his words. “uh… I just… I thought maybe you’d… uh,” seungcheol scratches the back of his neck, all nervous—like he isn’t the size of a tank. “you know, if you’re not busy… you could give me your insta?” he’s waiting for you to laugh at him, probably thinks he’s gonna get rejected because, you know, he’s got a kid and all. like that makes him less attractive or something. but you’re all heart-eyes the second his little girl pipes up with, “daddy thinks you’re pretty.”
dude nearly dies on the spot. he’s so red, you could probably cook an egg on his cheeks. but you just crouch down to her level, giving her the same sweet smile you flashed at the waitress earlier, and say, “well, I think your dad’s really handsome, too.”
game over. you’ve got him hooked, right there.
from then on, you’re texting nonstop. it’s almost like a high school crush thing, except the guy’s a full-grown dad who still somehow makes your stomach flip like you’re sixteen again. his insta’s basically a whole love letter to his daughter, like, every other post is her: her in some princess costume, her making pancakes (or trying to), her at the park with him, her with his dog. sometimes, you’ll scroll through his feed just to see him smile because, damn, it’s so rare he smiles like that anywhere else.
but then there’s the gym photos. god, those gym photos. all sweaty and pumped up, and you swear he’s showing off just a bit for you now that he knows you’re watching. his arms look like they could crush you, but the way he talks? it’s like he’s this big ol’ teddy bear wrapped in all that muscle.
“you eat today?” he texts you at like, 2 p.m., no greeting or anything.
you text back, “noo :(( too busy.”
not even a minute later, you get a notification from some food delivery app—he’s already sent something to your place. he’s like that. doesn’t even ask, just takes care of it. if it’s cold out, he’s dropping off a coat. if it rains, a brand new umbrella’s somehow at your work's door.
one night, you're scrolling through insta, and there’s this photo of him at some fancy work event, all dressed up in a suit and tie. goddamn, you think, biting your lip, because who knew seungcheol could clean up like that? the suit hugs every muscle, and it’s wild how he can look that good in anything from sweats to formalwear. you double-tap, and not two minutes later, he’s texting you.
“you like that one?”
you don’t even bother playing coy. “nah, I loved that one.”
there’s a pause, and you can almost picture him blushing on the other end, even though you’re the one getting all flustered.
“well, maybe you’ll get to see it in person soon,” he shoots back, and there’s a teasing edge to it, the same one that’s been driving you absolutely crazy since you started talking.
you roll your eyes, but your heart’s doing that dumb fluttery thing again. “maybe,” you reply, playing along.
and it’s like, you’re not even sure how this all happened so fast, but seungcheol? he’s always making sure you’re good, like his whole day revolves around making you smile, checking in, making sure you're eating, keeping warm. it’s low-key intense but in the best way possible.
and somehow, between all the little text convos and the insta stalking, you’ve found yourself seriously catching feelings for this dad with the cutest kid, the sweetest heart, and a whole-ass gym routine that’s absolutely unfair.
and you wonder: how the hell did you get this lucky?
seungcheol's always been like that—taking care of you like it’s second nature, probably because he’s used to being in dad-mode 24/7. you kinda feel spoiled, in the best way possible. he’s always looking out for you. it’s not that he’s overbearing; it’s just that this is how he shows he cares. but you know it goes both ways.
so one day, you decide to return the favor. you find this pink polo, something that screams him but in the softest, most endearing way. you know his daughter will love it too, ‘cause she’s all about pink and matching with her dad. you send it to him without saying much, just a little note saying, “thought this would look good on you.” the next time you see him, he's wearing it, and yeah, the shirt hugs his body perfectly. he’s acting like it’s no big deal, but you catch the way he blushes when you compliment him. “didn’t have to do all that,” he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck, but his eyes are softer than usual, that little glint of he’s falling harder than he planned.
but what really seals the deal is how u handle his daughter. every time you two try to plan a date, something comes up—his mom’s busy, or the babysitter falls through, and suddenly, the whole night’s flipped. instead of a fancy dinner, you’re headed to the park or some kid-friendly café, making sure his little girl has fun. and somehow, you end up having more fun on those “ruined” dates, watching seungcheol let loose, running around with his kid while you cheer them on. it’s like you get him, get his life, and he’s not used to that.
and then, finally, one night, the stars align. his mom takes the kid for the weekend, and it’s just you and him. alone.
and oh god, does he reward you.
he’s been holding back for weeks—months even. all that pent-up frustration, that tension from constantly having to play the responsible dad while trying to not let himself get too attached to you, it all comes crashing down.
he’s rough, no question about it. but it’s the kind of rough that makes your whole body sing. his hands are everywhere, grabbing, holding, pressing you up against walls and furniture like he’s desperate to feel every inch of you at once. he’s strong, and he knows it, lifting you like you weigh nothing, carrying you from one spot to the next without breaking a sweat.
the first time, it’s almost frantic. he’s pounding into you like he’s afraid the moment’s gonna slip through his fingers, grunting into your ear, his breath hot and uneven against your skin. your legs wrap around him, but you can hardly hold on—he’s relentless, hitting that spot over and over until you’re crying out, body shaking violently.
you don’t even realize your legs are spasming until hours later, when you try to stand and nearly collapse from how shaky you are. but seungcheol’s not done. oh no. he’s far from done.
before you can even catch your breath, he’s down between your legs, eating you out like a man famished. this time, it’s slower his tongue doing things that make you arch off the bed, hands fisting in his hair as he drags you to the edge again, then pulls you back just to do it all over. every time you think you’re about to lose it, he eases up, grinning against your skin like he knows exactly what he’s doing.
and yeah, maybe it’s been ages for him, but fuck, the man knows how to destroy you. by the time he’s done, you’re a complete mess, legs trembling, heart flying from your chest, your body so sensitive that even the thought of him touching you again makes you shudder.
seungcheol though, he’s the type to take his time. slow and unshakable, like he’s gotta be absolutely sure before he makes any big moves. but with you? he’s struggling. there’s this itch under his skin, this need to lock it down, put a ring on your finger, make it official. and yeah, he’d never say it out loud, not yet. he’s got too much pride to come off that desperate. but every time he watches you with his daughter, every time she calls you her “best friend” or shows you the drawing she made of you three as a family, he’s fighting the urge to drop down on one knee and ask you to make it real.
he hides it well, though, keeps up the usual routine. he keeps taking you out on dates, some with his little girl tagging along, others just the two of you. and he’s always scolding you whenever you show up with yet another gift for her.
“y/n, you’ve gotta stop,” he groans, shaking his head as you hand his daughter a set of pink hair clips that match her favorite doll. “she’s gonna expect something every week at this point.”
but there’s that soft look in his eyes, the one that betrays how much he loves seeing you spoil his kid. he’ll roll his eyes, but you notice how he always says “my girls” now, so casually like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
you and her. his girls.
one day, he takes you to her father’s day presentation at school. you’re not sure who’s more nervous, seungcheol or his daughter. but when she walks on stage in her tiny tutu, all giggles and shy smiles, it’s seungcheol who completely loses it. you’re sitting beside him, watching him tear up before she’s even started dancing. by the time the performance is over, he’s full-on crying, holding his face in his hands as you rub his back, trying to calm him down.
“it’s just… she’s growing up so fast,” he sniffs, looking up at you with watery eyes, completely unashamed of the tears streaming down his face. and you can’t help but love him more for it, for how much he loves his daughter, for how raw and real he is when it comes to her.
your intimate life? that’s been steady too, despite how busy things get. with a kid around, it’s not always easy to find the time, but seungcheol makes sure you’re never left wanting. there are the quickies, yeah, when his daughter’s asleep and you’ve got the living room to yourselves, stealing a heated make-out session that somehow ends up with your back pressed against the couch cushions, his hands roaming under your clothes while he kisses you senseless.
but if things get too feral, you two will sneak off to the laundry room or the closet, anywhere you can get a little privacy. he’s fast, efficient, but still so thorough, making sure you’re fully satisfied every single time. it’s like, no matter how quick things have to be, he’s always got this laser focus on making you feel good.
but even with all the passion, he’s still got that soft side. sometimes, it’s just enough to make out on the couch, your lips swollen from kissing, the weight of him pressed against you. and in those moments, there’s this quiet comprehension between you two. you don’t need the sex to feel connected—sometimes, just being close is enough.
but it’s getting harder for him to hold back. every time he sees you playing with his daughter, every time she asks if you’re coming over for dinner, he feels it. that pull. that urge to make you his. and one night, after his daughter’s fallen asleep and the two of you are tangled up on the couch, catching your breath after another one of those wild, stolen moments, he looks at you, really looks at you, and the words just fall out of his mouth.
“marry me.”
it’s not planned, not rehearsed. hell, he hadn’t even thought about it until the moment the words slipped out. but once they’re out there, he realizes he’s never been more sure of anything in his life. his hand tightens around yours, and he’s staring at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters, like he’s already bracing himself for the answer.
and all you can think is, finally.
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kikuriki · 2 years ago
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After a million years (or rather a few long months) I present you… A Splatoon picrew maker 
What’s so special about it you may ask? It has custom hairstyles AND you can combine parts of the hair and different gear to create unique OCs! 
Enjoy! https://picrew.me/image_maker/1781065
#what ginko looked like prior to sanitization#his name is Ginko!#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i care u op#thats me!!!!!!#he was never an elite octo btw he just likes kelp :)#edit more backstory he was abducted v v young by kamabo co because hes a mixie!#he actually has 2 inkling tents (his bangs and 1 side) because those are his main hand tents! he trimmed one to keep it from being. obvious#1 is more easily explained tbh oh haha yeah i had a really bad childhood illness etc etc#not that ppl are super fussed about his tentacles when his SKIN is NEON GREEN but u know.#he was in the splash zone of Pearls badass fight with that green goop freak it happens move on (lie)#his little buddy Onigiri saved him!#stray little salmonid lost in the depths of Kamabo Co. eating anything he can scrounge up.#singing Calamari Inkantation to himself#he keeps his tentacles in buns bc then Onigiri can use them as backrests :))))#hes thinking of getting a pet seabunny#he spends his time shoplifting golden eggs from Mr. Grizz to release back to the salmon seas#if they were handled a little too roughly he takes care of em for a little bit!#his apartment is in inkopolis (NOT flounder heights thank you) but a little complex by the sea next to a kelp farm!#he mains bloblobber and undercover brella and hes going to maul Sheldon for doing undercover so dirty every time#his day job is actually in the lobby bar! he makes sure all the teams get (nongear altering) refreshments#sometimes he cleans the lockeroom too.#edit edit i know beachfront apts are EXPENSIVE irl but in splatverse i think theyd be dirt cheap bc the water is so toxic and deadly#equiv of living next to a nuclear powerplant#ginkos older neighbor who models for Toni Kensa! idk his name yet#idk what cute neighbor mans name should be.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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i think maybe my streak system is a bitttt op...
#i might have t rework th points.. bc i earned 108.5 in spending money this week lol#i did do very good tho... i met my weekly goal for every single task except for eat well#but tbh eat well is one of the harder and also vaguer ones.. bc its eat something with vegetables Or try a new food and i just donot grt#much opportunity to do either...#but. i will keep it there so that i know my foley#im so proud of myself ive been brushing and flossing twice a day for over a week !!!!#AND i showered alnost every day this week... i didnt yesterday and i didnt todya bc brother i dont have work. and my hair needs a break lol#<- joke my hair feels so nice all da time... Who knew that being clean makes u feel better. this is craaaazy#i dont wanna get toooo far ahead of myself. i dont wanna get 2 big 4 my britches...#a fun fact is that when we were little our dad taught us 2 say britches instead of pants#solely bc my sibling had a hard time pronouncing r's . so when our granny watched us theyd go GRANNY I NEED MY BITCHES!!!!!! and my dad#thought it was the funniest thing ever#mainly bc my granny Didnt want us cussing but also thought it was really funny bc its so funny when kids cuss. so everytime shed be like#your WHAT? trying not to laugh and then shed be like your britches . okay and then shed slap my dad lol. shoutout to my grannyy#idk if u guys heard but she died. very sad. very sad#<- genuinely very sad that sounded sarcastic. ngl controversial i miss my granny im just kinda weird like that like when my family member#dies im sad abt it... im kind of an empath so i just like i can sense the absence of their energy and it causes my energy to recede.. aura#crystals and et cetera.
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pleaseshootthejester · 1 year ago
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So over being sad it's not very cool or fun actually
I'd like someone to hold my hand and stroke my hair please
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lilgynt · 1 year ago
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my mom was like pls don’t do that when i looked annoyed about her talking about the door accessories stabilizing my door okay can ur son not violently break every door in this house and then actually keep his and ur word about replacing said broken door and stop making me the bad guy about being annoyed that my door has been broken for 8 months and the only answer has been why do you need a door
#personal#like cool i get to remember hiding in my room at 22 christmas day while my brothers throwing shit and jiggling my handle#AND get chewed out about it randomly#like ben gets to have working doors and not to think about this ever and randomly decide hey.#i’m just never gonna do this#and everyone keeps treating me like im the huge asshole :)#i hate being so reliant on weed but also weed free nights are like hey. which memories of the last year u want to run through#i’m not gonna lie did actually start crying bc thinking about it it’s actually so mean of both of them#i didn’t even bother them for 4 months after they promised they’d buy and install it on my birthday#instead i spent the night prior cleaning then got my dad out of the rehab for my birthday#i just hate it more bc they really don’t give a shit aboht me#my moms complaining about me not eating but also telling me how good i look and begging me not to get the weight back#frankie’s texting me asking if im okay just to talk about his own stuff#and see if i can help him with whatever the fuck#ben he’s the worst bc he acts like he’s gonna change and talks about therapy and agrees with me but doesn’t do anything different!!!!!#and doesn’t even have the decency to tell me he cant do the door anymore. just gave me looking fuckin stupid#and none of them can reach out or try to actually help me when i’m begging for fucking help#they actively ignore me asking for help!!!#and i’m telling myself it doesn’t matter but no it is fucked up my mom expects me to walk to her#or get her shit or get on ladders or just plain FORGETS i have a broken foot#seriously i was lying in bed and she was at the door and i had to get up to show her something bc she doesn’t want to walk to me#i’m just really upset i think. and no weed barrier. swag.
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mothman-supremacy · 4 months ago
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wade on his knees for you wilson
wade wilson/deadpool x fem!reader
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intended lowercase, not proofread, send requests love u
minors dni
cw: pussy eating, squirting, wade can’t shut the fuck up
wade with his mask pulled up just above his lips on his knees in front of you and he can’t wait to get a taste of you
teasing you but in turn it’s making him even more desperate for you
kisses all over the front of your thighs and his hand are everywhere on your ass and thighs and wherever else he can reach
finally gives in and puts your leg over his shoulder because this is fucking torture for the both of you
kisses your clit and groans “can’t fucking wait to taste you baby.”
groans and maybe even whimpers a little bit when he finally runs his tongue from your entrance all the way back up to your clit
pulls his mask up a little bit more because his tongue is inside of you and his nose keeps brushing against you and you’re soaking his mask. “babe i’m gonna make you pay for dry cleaning to clean my mask if you keep fucking soaking me like this”
he just can’t shut the fuck up
“you taste so good sweets holy shit” “never gonna be able to get enough of this pussy” “you hear that baby? you hear how fucking wet she is f’me?”
so fucking messy with it, his spit and your juices are all over you and all over his face
him sucking on your clit while he slides two fingers into you
“come on baby, want you to cum on my fucking face”
overstimming you after you’ve already came because he can’t get enough of you
“it’s too much wade please-” “don care baby, want you to cum on my face again”
he’s hitting just the right spot in you and he’s still running his tongue in soft circles around your clit and you cum again and it absolutely fucking soaks him
“did you just-?” “holy shit i’m sorry” “oh my fucking god you just squirted all over me-can you do it again holy shit”
“babe i so have to get the suit dry cleaned im fucking drenched. that was the hottest thing i’ve ever seen” “i’m so telling logan about this”
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0097linersb · 5 months ago
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Sour Candy (m)
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Pairings: Mingi x Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 5k~
Warnings: Very very very needy Mingi, wouldn't say exactly sub!mingi but kind of sub!mingi u know, good boi´s just very desperate. consent lines are kind of blurred in this one so pls skip if it makes u uncomfortable, this was just written in like an hour with absolutely no thoughts or grammar-checking, head empty only filled with crying whiny men <3
Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
“What time did Yunho say he was coming back again?” You asked for about the fourth time that afternoon. 
“In like an hour or two,” Mingi answered patiently like he did all the other times you asked before. “Bro, why do you hate me?” 
“Because you keep making me play this boring game and it really fucking sucks.” 
“That´s just because you´re bad at it.” 
“You´re literally worse than me.” 
“Maybe modernity was wrong all along, maybe women really shouldn´t be allowed to have opinions.” 
“It is a fact, not an opinion. Maybe you men should still be in planes being shipped off to war and leave us alone.” 
“Fine. Do you want to play something else, princess?” 
“Let´s play Overcooked,” You squealed.  
Mingi didn´t even groan this time when you mentioned the game you and Seonghwa were obsessing over lately, simply going back to the home screen on Yunho´s Playstation and looking for the colorful icon. He knew there was no arguing with you. 
While the game was loading, Mingi handed you the main controller and stood up, fixing his shirt that had scrunched up and stretching his back, “Set everything up, I´m gonna go find some snacks.” 
You happily did as told, driving your little animated truck towards the level you had last failed at and playing with your phone to wait for your friend, at least until your vision was blocked by said friend pushing a red plastic bag in front of your face. 
“What´s that?” You asked, already reaching into the bag and picking up one of the soft candies inside. 
Mingi simply shrugged, already chewing on one of the jellies, “Dunno, found them in the kitchen. They´re pretty good though.” 
You trusted his words, popping the candy into your mouth and waiting for the flavors to kick in - and hell you wish you didn´t. 
“Oh my god this is disgusting,” Your face contorts in distaste. 
“It´s cinnamon,” Mingi stares you down, clearly not amused.  
“Yeah, with candle wax. Ew.” 
“Just swallow it and stop being a baby.” 
“I will literally kill myself.” 
He gave you another judgmental glare and sat down next to you on the couch once again, already reaching for his third candy from hell as you forced yourself to let it slide down your throat. You handed him the main remote and picked up the secondary one, coughing to see if flowing some air into your lungs would get the taste of rotten papaya out of your mouth.  
“Maybe it´s poison that Yunho left out as a trap because you keep stealing his food.” 
“Nah, it was right on top of the counter,” He waved it off, pressing play on the game. 
“My point stands.” 
“Yeah, whatever.” 
“You´re very eloquent today.” 
“You´re very annoying today.” 
“The salmon Mingi, the fucking salmon!!” 
“I´m getting it!” 
“Bro, you gotta throw it!” 
“Fuck. I know, but if I leave the fucking rice is going to burn.” 
“I´m throwing you more rice.” 
“I don´t need it.” 
“Yes, you do. Oh my god.” 
“What I do need are some clean plates.” 
“Oh, yeah. On it.” 
“Why do you like this game?” He groaned, cleaning the sweat from his forehead and reaching for another candy in the bag. “You´re making me stress eat.” 
“Doesn´t it make you feel pumped?”  
“Yeah, pumped to punch the TV.” 
“We have one more minute, we can do it if you stop being dumb.” 
“There are literally two plates on the counter ready to go and you haven´t delivered them yet.” 
“Jeez, done. Can you slice me some tomatoes?” 
“One sec,” He answered, mouth full of yet another candy. 
“It would be faster if you would just stop eating.” 
“We´re not making it anyways, let me enjoy one thing at least.” 
And he was right: a few seconds later the TV screen was filled with the sad numbers displaying how you didn´t reach the minimum score - didn´t even come close to it in fact. 
Mingi let out his frustrations by popping the nth white jelly past his lips and you stared at him in disgust, reaching for the bag to understand what that malevolent creation even was.  
“Huh...” 
“What?” He asked. 
“Hm, I mean, this is all in German or Dutch but I´m pretty sure this word means aphrodisiac.” 
“Come again?” His mouth was hanging open mid chew, unblinking eyes staring at you. 
“Hm, yeah. Wasn´t Yunho´s friend just in Amsterdam? The one with the big smile? Maybe he brought those as a souvenir, since you know, it´s Amsterdam. Like, ‘haha look at this candy that makes you horny´.” 
“Oh, yeah. But it´s like a placebo touristy thing, right?” He laughed nervously. “Like, these won´t actually make me horny, right?” 
“Nah, I don´t think this kind of stuff works. It´s probably just for shit and giggles. Do you feel any different?” 
“I don´t know, my heart is beating faster. I think I´m going to die.” 
“Mingi, relax. Now it´s probably just because you´re nervous.” 
“No, what if there´s some kind of drug in these? I ate almost 10 of them! Oh my god I´m going to die. Am I going to overdose, Y/N? What if I start hallucinating?” 
He was being a bit overdramatic, but he did have genuine concerns. 
“Wait, let me call Yunho.” 
Mingi didn´t even hear you, too busy at his own pity party as he whined and stared at the bag´s labels like he could suddenly speak Dutch.  
“Y/N?” Yunho´s voice filled your ears. 
“Hm, hi. Sorry to bother you at work but we´ve kind of got a situation.” 
“Oh my god, did Mingi break my door playing with the bar? I already told him-” 
“No, nothing like that. Huh, do you know that candy that you left on the kitchen counter?” 
“What? No. What cand- Oh. Oh.” 
“Huh, yeah. So... Mingi found it and ate like 10 of them?” 
“Y/N.” 
“Is that bad? He´s kind of freaking out, he´s afraid there´s like drugs in them or something.” 
“There are some stimulants in them but like, in minor quantities. He won´t die because of it. But bro, bro.” 
“What?” You whined, Yunho´s tone making you anxious. 
“He had 10 of them? San had like 3 and said he was at it for hours.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah, oh.” 
“So I guess these do work, huh?” 
“Haven´t tried them, but from what San says it´s some strong shit. Did you take any?” 
“Just like one, tastes like organic trash.” 
“Yeah, good. Let me know how it goes, please just stay out of my bedroom.” 
“Your bedroom? Why would- What are you trying to imply, Jeong Yunho?” 
“Oh shit, client calling. Byeee,” He laughed. “Stupid.” 
As soon as you put your phone away, Mingi stopped talking to himself like a mad man and stared at you with big hopeful eyes. 
“I have good news and bad news.” 
“Am I going to die?” 
“That´s the good news: no, you´re not. No.” 
“And what are the bad news?” 
“Apparently you will get very horny, though.” 
He froze at your words, looking down at his pants, “I don´t feel it, though.” 
“Maybe you won´t, it might be different for everyone,” You shrug, standing up and grabbing your sweater. “All I know is that I am leaving because if it does happen, that´s not a sight I want to be here for.” 
“Please no,” Mingi whined, literally throwing himself on his knees to catch your arm before you could walk away. “Don´t leave me alone here. I just ingested unknown substances, what if my body reacts badly and I actually die? What if I throw up and drown in my own puke here all alone?” 
Once again, over-dramatic but right.  
“Yeah, you´re right,” You sighed. “I would still rather die than see you with a boner so here´s what we´re gonna do: I´m locking myself in Yunho´s room and you can freely roam the apartment and do whatever you want, I´ll check up on you every few minutes. Sounds good?” 
“Yeah, ok,” Mingi agreed. 
“Also, if you´re going to like - ” You motioned vaguely towards his pants hoping he would get what you were trying to say. “Give me a heads up so I can put on some earphones.” 
“Oh my god,” He whined in shame, cheeks going flush. “Yeah, ok.” 
“Ok, good. Huh, bye,” You awkwardly waved as you made your way towards Yunho´s room. “Good luck.” 
You closed the door behind you, hearing as Mingi opened some other game back in the living room. There was not much to do in Yunho´s room so you decided to lay in bed and scroll through Tiktok until Mingi stopped thinking he was going to die and you could leave. Also, you did eat one of the candies too, so you guessed that if they did work, you would feel it as well. 
10 minutes later you still heard Mingi normally playing and cursing outside, but you still decided to yell out an “Everything good?” just to be sure. 
“Yeah!” Was his answer. 
Another 15 minutes went by, and you shot him a text. 
Not dead yet? 
Mings: Still good, I don´t think these things actually work. 
Maybe Yunho was just messing with us.  
Mings: Yeah, fucking asshole. 
You went back to watching your silly little videos, not even noticing the time passing or how everything suddenly went quiet outside. Over half an hour had gone by when your ears finally perked up at the lack of your friend´s loudness.  
You sat up in bed worried. 
You good? 
No answer. 
Mingi? 
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 
You were already picturing his dead body looking all stupid on Yunho´s carpet, thinking about how you were going to explain to the paramedics that he died because he ate too much horny candy.  
No, even worse: How would you explain this to his family? 
Oh, no. Not your best friend. How would you live without him? You liked teasing him and you bickered a lot but you love- 
Your little spiral of insanity was interrupted by a knock on the door and your body was finally able to move after how it had been paralyzed with fear for a few minutes. 
“Mingi?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Oh, thank god. You scared the shit out of me,” You took a deep breath in relief, staring at Yunho´s white door. “What´s up?” 
“Huh, can I come in?” 
You furrowed your eyebrows at his tone.  
Something sounded weird about this.  
“Sure,” You answered skeptically.  
Mingi opened the door and came in, head cast down and gaze not meeting your eyes. 
“What´s wrong-” You started asking worriedly, about to jump out of the bed to go check up on him before your eyes finally zeroed in on the very prominent bulge in his pants. “Song Mingi! What the fuck?” 
“I- I don´t know what to do,” His eyes finally met yours, cheeks tinted in pink and hands trembling. He looked at you like a kicked puppy.  
“And what do I have to do with it? Go deal with it yourself. Eeew, we talked about this,” You raised your hand in the air to try and block the bottom half of Mingi from your line of vision.  
“I already did,” He groaned, rubbing his face in frustration. “Twice.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah. Nothing fucking works - and also, I just can´t stop thinking about you.” 
“What?” You never heard your voice go so high before. “Nuh uh, we´re not going there. Absolutely not.” 
“I´m not happy about it either, ok?” His fingers were squeezing the corner of the door so thigh they were almost white. “Just please, help me out this once. Please.” 
Oh. 
Oh. 
Oh. 
You just prayed that the reason you started clenching around nothing was because the candy was finally kicking in and not because stupid Song Mingi was practically begging in front of you. 
“No!” You screeched, weirded out by your own sudden reaction. “This isn´t you talking, it´s just th stupid candy, you´ll regret it after it wears off -” 
“No but I won´t,” He disagreed, closing the door and rushing towards you like a madman in three large strides. 
You had never seen him like this, you never once in a million years could have gone as far as even imagining the look in his eyes right now. 
“Fuck. It´s just - your skin is so soft, you know?” Mingi pushed the covers to the side so his hand could squeeze your thigh, his knees dipping into the mattress as he crawled on top of you. You were too shocked to move away, frozen in place with your mouth open wide, not really knowing what to do as he rubbed the palm of his hands up and down your skin, squeezing it occasionally with a heavy breath like he had just reached heaven´s gate. 
“Mingi,” You warned, but your voice didn´t sound that threatening anymore. 
“Please, just once,” He breathed out, practically rubbing himself against your body like a cat in heat forcing you to slowly lie back in the bed, his hands gently guiding yours over your head as you slid down. You looked up at his glazed eyes, at the way his hands were shaking around your wrists, the way he was discreetly rutting against your thigh without even realizing he was doing it. He looked so vulnerable and frenzied – And it was doing something to you. 
“Mingi,” You whined, not even sure what you were trying to say or do. 
“You kept walking around with this white top all day,” He let out a broken groan, looking down at said top. “Your boobs look amazing in it. I just- I – Can I?” 
His begging eyes were enough to get you automatically nodding before even realizing what you were agreeing to - When you did process what he was asking for though, his right hand was already squeezing your boobs and kneading at them like his life depended on it, his calloused fingers firm on your body. You could feel how hard he was every time he subconsciously ground against you, shaky hot breaths leaving his lips and hitting the sensitive skin on the side of your neck where his plump soft lips kept lightly brushing against with every move. 
Mingi took advantage of the position, sucking against your vein and leaving pleas in the form of little kisses around your skin. His thumb played with your nipple and your hands were still abandoned on top of your head against the sheets, not sure if you would really let this happen yet - but Mingi didn´t seem to mind, too lost in worshipping you into compliance.  
“I need to fuck you. Like, right now. I´ll - I´ll make you feel good too, I promise,” The shakier and breathier his voice sounded the wetter you got. “I promise. I promise. Please. We -we don´t even need to fuck I can – I can – Let me – Just the tip- Anything-” 
“Just the tip?” 
“Yeah,” He eagerly nodded, his eyes so hopeful you could melt. 
“Ok,” You agreed, physically not being able to say no to his pleading eyes.  
“Fuck,” He groaned in surprise, not actually thinking you would agree to it - But since you did, he wasted no time and made quick work of practically ripping your cotton short down your legs in one harsh tug. “Under normal circumstances I would, you know – But, I – right now I – I can´t.” 
“It´s ok,” You assured, afraid he would actually cry if you made him wait another single second with how desperate he was. 
He hooked his finger on the bottom of your panties and pushed them to the side, not even being able to take them out. He stared at your pussy for a moment, his eyes looking even more insane than before at the sight, like he would actually growl at you. 
“Fuck,” Mingi cursed as he went out of the little trance he was in, pushing his sweater pants and boxers down in a rush - once again not even bothering with taking them all out.  
And oh fuck. 
His cock was so hard you could imagine how it actually hurt; it throbbed against the skin of his abdomen without even being touched, looking swollen and angry with all the veins surrounding it - And man were you glad you agreed on just the tip because there was just no way that would fit without a lot of preparation first. Even with how wet you were right now. Who knew? 
Mingi leaned on top of you once again, one arm supporting the weight of his body in between your legs as he gently guided his dick up and down your folds, his eyes closing at the feeling, a violent shiver taking over his thighs and up his spine with a loud groan.  
Like he had absolutely no control over his body, Mingi positioned himself against your entrance, slowly pushing just a little bit in as promised. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” His groans sounded so raw against your ear as he cursed over the initial resistance of your walls, his forehead meeting your neck to try and ground himself. 
You even let a moan out yourself because this was absolute madness, it felt insane. Your whole body was buzzing like you were electrified, your fingers ached to scratch Mingi´s back and pull him all the way in - Damn, those candies were good.  
And you only had one. 
“Y/N, fuck,” Mingi gasped as he started moving his hips in shallow little thrusts so he wouldn´t break your agreement. “Ah - Ah. I can´t think strai - You´re so pretty. Fuck, fuck.” 
His lips met your neck once again, messy kisses full of saliva and teeth as he shuddered on top of you, leaving marks that would soon turn purple. You could feel how tense every single muscle in his body was as he fought against himself to not rut deeper into you every time he moved, and you were biting onto your lip so hard to keep the noises inside that you could taste blood.  
“Thank you, thank you,” You shivered at the way cold air hit your neck when Mingi pulled back a bit to look you in the eye, “Can I go ah- a little deeper, please? Just a little. It feels so good, I need ah- more. Fuck.” 
“Mingi.” 
“Please,” He cried out and you just couldn´t believe the sight in front of you. 
Tall big strong Song Mingi with the deep voice, reduced to a disheveled delirious mess. His ashy blond hair rumpled, his cheeks burning pink and skin glistening with sweat, his pupils huge and shiny and he just looked so disheartened that it was breaking your heart to not let him just use you however he wanted.  
“I need you,” He agonized, his right arm clinging onto your shoulder like you would run away from him if you could, so out of it that he was already pushing deeper into you without even noticing, eyes shut so tightly at the sensation of your walls around him. “Please, please, please, please,” It was like a mantra. 
He was far gone. 
And kind of so were you. 
You whine in pain and raspy moans left Mingi´s soft lips every time he thrust back into you, hitting farther each time, “I´m sorry, baby. I´m sorry. You can take it right? Ah – Just a bit more, I promise. Fuck. I´m almost ah- in. Why do you smell so good? It´s driving me ah – insane.” 
It hurt, it did hurt, but you also didn´t seem to mind that he was practically splitting you open when his voice sounded this pretty apologizing for it. 
The speed and strength of his hips started picking up to match his urgency, his plush lips were open so captivatingly and his weight was now supported by both arms so he could pistol into you. He didn´t have a specific angle or rhythm to it, his moves were strictly instinctual and carnal, your nails finally finding your way down his back to keep yourself anchored to reality. 
“You´re so so so beautiful, fuck. Your lips - can´t stop thinking about them around my ah- cock. Will you show me?”  
You loved how broken his voice sounded. 
“Yeah, baby. Whatever you want.” 
He shuddered once again at your words, “I´m so close.” 
“Me too,” You nodded, still doing your very best to not let noises of pleasure escape past your lips – and kind of failing. 
“Let me hear you,” Mingi growls, managing to somehow snake his hand in between your bodies to start drawing quick circles on your clit. “Please, I love your voice.” 
You wouldn´t be able to hold back even if you wanted to.  
His chaotic rhythm had an appeal of its own, every broken moan that left his mouth drew you closer to the edge until you finally reached it. Your vision went black, nails digging into Mingi´s biceps so harshly you would feel bad for it later, every muscle in your body tightening as it all washed over you in a devastating wave, leaving your body in the form of gasps and breathy moans. 
“Oh my god, fuck,” Mingi cursed at the way your walls were clenching so tightly around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 
He wouldn´t slow down and you were still coming down from your high, twitching with the aftershocks as the oversensitivity quickly began to rise, but you decided to ignore it the best you couldand push through it - you could tell Mingi was close anyway with the way his thrusts became even more erratic, and his voice went up with every moan.  
You were mesmerized by his glossy unfocused eyes, the frown on his forehead, so frantic to get what he needed by ramming into you. He looked so pretty like this, you wanted to destroy him-  
Wow. 
Wait. 
Now where did that come from? 
“Shit, I´m gonna- Fuck, fuck.” 
You watched as his whole body froze for a second before violently shaking, his eyes shot so tightly he was probably seeing white as he continued thrusting into you to ride his orgasm to the end as you felt something warm hitting your walls. And his moans, oh his moans – I mean, you were not deaf, you had always been well-aware that Mingi had an attractive voice, but to hear it like this, so raw and relieved, was truly something else. 
Mingi let out one last broken cry as he slowly stopped moving, dropping his weight on top of you to catch his breath, chest heaving up and down against your ribcage as his muscles continued twitching here and there. You took advantage of the moment to get yourself together too, stabilizing your breathing and trying to figure out what the hell just happened as you two went down, but you also kind of expected Mingi to say something or try to joke around a bit to lessen the burden of the fact that the two of you just fucked - and when he didn´t, well, you started getting worried. 
You were mustering up the courage to say something after the two minutes of silence when the last thing you expected to happen, happened.  
Your eyes were blown wide, “Mingi-” 
“I can´t stop, I´m sorry-” He whined, his still rock-solid cock now slowly moving inside of you once again, rutting into you like he had absolutely no control over himself. 
He was still hard? 
Wasn´t this like his third time already? 
His whole body was shaking in overstimulation but he wouldn´t stop grinding into you, “I´m sorry.” 
“Mingi,” You tried pulling away from him thinking that´s what he was asking for. 
“No, don´t. Ah- Need you,” He desperately grabbed onto your thighs and wrapped them around his hips, your chests flushed against each other's as he hid his forehead on your neck to keep fucking deep into you. Literal whines of pain were leaving his lips, it was like he was an animal incapable of rational thoughts, and it was making you feel dizzy. 
“Mingi, love. You´re going to hurt yourself.” 
“No, feels so ah- Just one more,” He moaned, body shuddering. His whines got you clenching involuntarily around him, suddenly realizing you were kind of close to the edge already. “Please.” 
You felt a strong bite on your shoulder disguising a groan, the animalistic act crashed with how smoothly he was sliding in and out of you, but it also showed how deranged he was at the moment. You tightened your thighs around Mingi´s hips and pulled at the hair on his nape, not bothering with trying to cover up your moans anymore. 
Mingi took the action as permission and started gradually moving his hips faster, broken little whines getting louder and more frequent each second until he was once again supported by both his arms and pistoling into you.  
“I can´t - I can´t,” His voice was so shaky, so broken. “I - Please.” 
And then your whole world stopped as you watched the first tear roll down Mingi´s cheek. 
You were mesmerized, you wanted to frame it.  
“It hurts,” He whimpered, another tear falling, followed by another and then another.  
“You´re almost there,” You cooed, deciding to be useful to the poor giant man breaking down on top of you. “Aren´t you? So close.” 
Mingi nodded, blinking harshly to clear his vision which resulted in more tears running down his face. You just couldn´t help supporting your weight onto your elbow so you could lean up and hold his jaw, kissing the salty traces across his cheeks until his face was clean. He immediately started shaking, moans growing whinier and choppier, his thrusts started losing their patterns as he plowed into you like his life depended on it, entering a mental state he never knew existed before. 
His right hand grabbed your thigh with enough force to bruise it badly as he came for what you imagined was the fourth time in an hour, holding you so close that you could feel his cock hitting impossible places deep inside of you. Mingi was breathing so hard you were kind of worried for his well-being but the noises leaving his lips assured you he was feeling pleasure at least as his nose found its place on your neck once again. 
“Feeling better?” You asked once he had calmed down a little. 
“Kind of,” He pushed back to look at you with a low chuckle, his eyes looking a tad bit saner already. “But I also kind of need to eat you out.” 
You felt his dick twitch inside of you at his own words and how the fuck was that even possible? 
A painful whimper left his lips at the slight stimulation, already way past oversensitive, “Please?” 
 He had the nerve to pout. 
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meteorella · 4 months ago
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Nerdgasmic Rhapsody
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pairings: loser!dom!ellie x popular!sub!reader
cw: flufff!! ellie's an absolute cutie pie. cursing (obv), oral! (r receiving), tribbing (maybe?), nipple play, after caree!!, pet names: sweetheart, baby, princess, that's all i think!
wc: 511
a/n: (intentional lowercase!!!) first ever ficcc omg🥹 i have never ever in my life written a fanfic before so pleaseee don't judge and also feel free to point out some mistakes and stuff!! I take criticisms as i'm sure it'll help me a lot throughout my writing journey :))) can't promise I'll post consistently considering I'm insanely dumped with school works but I'll definitely find time to do so. anyways i hope u guys enjoy this one!! Feel free to hit me w some ideaaasss :3
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after you had made it official with the biggest dork on campus—ellie—people would randomly come up to you in the hallways and tease you, not believing how sweet she actually is. after all of your previous relationships, ellie is the only one who genuinely cared for you. despite her shy and nerdy demeanor, she's really fun to hang out with. she'd continuously yap about space, the comic books she's read—savage starlight—and drop all of its lore to you. the whole fucking lore. although you hardly cared. she was too adorable. most of the time, you would find yourself just looking at her sparkling green eyes, topped by her matte, black glasses, her hand gestures, and the soft smile plastered on her lips while she speaks. she's even more beautiful up close. how could others not see that? whilst ellie can be a total cutie pie, you cant deny how fucking insane she can be in bed.
when eating you out, she'd flick her tongue out relentlessly on your leaking hole. firmly gripping on to your thighs, she already knows your next motive. "nuh-uh, sweetheart. keep them open for me." she shoots you a knowing glare before diving back into your drenched core, keeping eye contact all the while. her gaze roamed over your appearance, hair disheveled, eyes rolled back, and completely fucked out. "s-sorry, baby–fuck." you moaned as you clutched onto her dino-printed sheets. so fucking cute. after you'd climaxed for the 3rd time, she'd climb on top of you and slip her tongue down your throat, allowing you to taste yourself as she grinded her own throbbing cunt against yours. your soaking wet pussies rubbing, and creating the most delicious rhythm together. she absolutely loved your boobs. she adored how it just bounces up and down as she rolled her hips above you. she took your nipple in between her thumb and her index finger and pinched them, making you flinch at the feeling. her glasses were all fogged up and crooked, but she couldn't care less. she was too engrossed on drawing out more of those angelic sounds that slips past your lips as she pleases you. "doing s–so good f'me, princess... fuck–so hot." when you had both finally reached your peak, she'd lean down and gently clean up all your juices from between your thighs with her tongue.
she gives absolutely the best aftercare imaginable. the routine would start with cleaning you up with a wet towel, swiping it's soft material across your face, your breasts, your legs, your inner thighs—she had always taken care of you in the most tender and loving way. she loved hearing your soft, exhausted sighs of relief, as you watch her with a smile on your face all while savoring the chocolate she so graciously offered you. after ellie finishes cleaning you up, she would settle beside you, enveloping you in her arms as she wrapped them around your waist. her lips showering your neck with gentle kisses as she whispered heartfelt words of affection. "i'm going to marry you one day."
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YAAALLLL OMG I HOPE THIS DIDN'T SUCK TOO HARD😣😣😣🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 i hope u guys enjoyed this one, i really enjoyed writing thisss!!
tags: @ellstronaut
dividers: @khaer @plutism
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