#not doing self experimentation but there for other selfish purposes

[milfbrainrot]

it is rly funny i used to have honey island ocs who were doing self experimentation for their own means and keeping it a secret bc surely that's a step too far from... experimenting on each other as honey island is all about! but actually all the other scientists around were probably like "oh yeah we know lol but we can't legally do that with our specific government contract so you should just. keep going. so we can get more science out of it. and we are pretending we do not see."

[sanemisstalker]

NSFW // KNY characters that are serial humpers. There's nothing they won't rub themselves on for just a small chance to get off.

CW: GN Reader/ Both Genitals reffered to/ specific CW will be before each character so you can peruse as you see fit.

Karaku

Object Of choice : Anything and Everything.

CW: Genital Mutilation (he gets curious, no scene), Dub-con/Non-con, Somnophilia.

-While I think all of the Clones have a bit of a problem keeping it to themselves, I think Karaku, being, you know, the pleasure clone, is most certainly a cum chaser.

-He can barely keep his hand out of his pants in public, all but physically refuses to hide his boners, and, worst of all, you can't keep underwear in one piece, on, or even around.

-This man is disgusting. The only difference between him and the others is that he's unabashed about it. You'd think the honesty would help, but it just doesn't. Not after he's torn through your last set of undergarments and now what?

-'So what? I don't wear anything- eh? What do you mean it's digusting?!'

-He's so proud about it too, it's almost disheartening.

-Is not gentle with his dick. It can just regrow, I'm sure he's done- awful things to it.

-I think that pleasure thing comes at a cost. It's a signifier of Hantengu's lack of impulse control. Karaku probably can't stop himself, even if he wants to, which he never would because lusting is his only purpose.

-Everything is made to read as innately sexual to him- doesn't matter if it's your fist or a cheese grater- He's experimental with his nerves to a self destructive degree.

-'I didn't intend to cut it off- no! I saw a photo of a man that flayed it o- Hey! It's not that bad! Just liste- It'll fix itself soon!'

-I don't know what else He'd do other than jack off, or try and convince the other clones to jack off. I don't think he has- hobbies?

-Definitely tries to hump you in your sleep. If you don't wake up to him jerking off, you're waking up to him trying to slip between your thighs.

-'I just got horny- no no- just go back t- hey, no, you're not allowed to leave? Come back! Y/N!'

Aizetsu

Object of Choice : Your thigh

CW: Severe Depression / BDSM Dynamics (Severe degradation, both self and inflicted) (Aizetsu receiving)

-What a miserable fuck, he doesn't know what to do with himself half the time, so when he gets horny he just cries and begs.

-He's a manifestation of every awful thought Hantengu ever had in that big ol' head of his. Aizetsu just drips with the most gut wrenching, vomit inducing level of self-hatred you've ever seen anytime you're intimate.

-you begin to wonder if being talked down to appeals to him more than he'd like to admit.

-He's like a dog when he asks, because, at the end of the day, he's still Hantengu, a selfish bastard who self serves. Aizetsu just doesn't have the joy receptors for it- his nerves jump at the bud for any impulse they can fufill.

-When you let him ride your thigh, because he's pathetic, and he looked so... him asking, it became his favourite thing. Ever.

-When you two are alone, he'll just beg for it out loud. He has no self respect. So much shame that he'll never conquer.

-'Please, please- Y/N- I- I'll do whatever you want me to. You're the only person I can do this with, they'll all- laugh at me- please please- I'm sorry, I know, I'm- God I'm worthless- I can't do anything in return, nothing will be good enough-'

-he's practically jerking himself off on your calve as he spews his self hate. You might as well give in.

-When you're infront of the other clones, he'll tug at the edge of whatever you're wearing. They all toss him hauty looks. They're disgusted by him, too. He likes humping your thigh more than his dignity infront of his fellow cluster, I guess.

-Maybe he's... a bit of a.... a lot of a masochist. You stare at him like he's dirt, there. He's a grown man humping your thigh- drool spilling out of his mouth.

-'I'm- I'm sorry I- oh god- please don't hate me- please don't hate me- please please-'

-'You're pathetic. You can't make me cum, but you have no problem mak- did you just cum again? Are you cumming right now? In your pants?... Are you serious?'

-You could easily have him wailing in minutes, maybe even seconds if you hit the right nerve. And the whole time he'll just be thrusting away, chasing his own pleasure against your skin because that's all he knows how to do.

-Push him off right as he's cumming and ruin his orgasm, he doesn't deserve to feel good (The abuse will just make him cum harder)

Kaigaku

Object Of Choice: You.

CW: Mention of Trad Wives

-Listen, I know we have a lot of Kaigaku haters in the crowd. I, however, see a man with a choker, and I see a potential slut. Give him his moment.

-I think Kaigaku would be a very selfish lover, obviously, but I don't think this is in natural capacity for him. I think he's like, brainwashed by societies standards of what attracts him, especially in a relationship.

-You know when you see a 'sigma' guy that's really upset his trad wife who he specifically picked out for being trad won't do anal? That's Kaigaku.

-So he's really, really upset when you won't put out.

-You see a chance, though. A chance for a life lesson.

-Kaigaku is allowed to fuck you... just not really fuck you. He's allowed to use your hand. He's allowed to use your thighs. He can rut in between your pussy lips/ up and down your shaft-

-He is not allowed in you. And it lights him up.

-'Thats a stupid rule! You think I'm not enough? Are you fucking someone else? Are you making fun of me?!' He'd probably try to insight a screaming match for a week, but you just won't give in-

-Fine. Whatever. He just won't touch you, won't talk to you- won't-

-The first time Kaigaku slides in between your thighs, he swears he sees stars. It'd been weeks... probably the longest he's ever held off on an impulse. Hadn't jerked off either, He'd been too pissed.

-Its there, in that little space between your sex and the top of your thighs, that Kaigaku finds God. At least he thinks it's god. It's got to be. He's never cum so hard in his life.

-Kaigaku becomes almost... willingly obedient. He continues to pretend he's so inconvenienced by the whole thing, but then he's sliding into your fist, and the world is just sliding away.

-I have a very specific image of standing infront of him, and him trying to angle his dick to slide in your underwear. He's really awkward, and he's struggling to stay upright because he's got to bend his knees to meet your cunt/cock- and it's just not working, but that's the only way you'd let him get off on you that day-

-It like, kind of gives me the ick thinking about him doing it, but also like- Aw? He'll literally do anything to get off now? You broke him?

-'I can't- it- it's too hard-' He'd mumble, voice sounding particularly defeated. 'I just- I want to cum-'

-'Too bad.' You'd go to walk away, and He'd jerk off on the floor, pissed as hell. He wouldn't be able to cum and that'd just make him angrier, because now he has to go beg his partner, who he's whipped for, to please let him use their pussy/dick again-

-He's like, never been this needy before, though. He's not supposed to want to chase you. He's supposed to have people throwing themselves at him- It's kind of... exciting, to be denied.

-You know, guys that whimper are really cool, but idk, I think Kaigaku's a whiner. I think he whines and groans and it's really unsightly but??? There's something so appealing about it? Like, he's so big and strong and his ego is so inflated, and he's just toppling for you?

Enmu

Object of Choice : Your pillow

CW: Enmu / Crossing of explicit sexual boundaries.

-Listen, he's not right in the head. Enmu never claimed to be right in the head, either, but he's particularly fond of cumming on your pillow. Not just humping it, cumming on it. He doesn't really know why either.

-'It just feels right, I think.' He'd reason.

-'Do you want to- cum in my hair? On my face-'

'No, I want to cum on your pillow. It's where you sleep.' Thats the only explanation you get from him. He cannot articulate anymore.

-He doesn't even think about it when he's doing it. He's just got one leg hiked up on the bed, a thumb pressing the head of his cock into the plush, and he's just thrusting- almost blind.

-He doesn't ever remember the build up to getting there, or what in his brain is satisfied by doing this, but if he doesn't do it, something... off will happen, he's sure.

-You catch him, one day. You thought he was just cumming on it- no, he's got his full weight in his pelvis, pitching his hips forward with all his might. You didn't even know Enmu could physically do such a thing.

-He's not weak, obviously. He's a demon, but you all rarely have sex where he's the one leading, so it's a bit of a shock to watch him be so... rough with the fabric.

-He's almost in a trance, it's kind of scary, until he cums, and he covers his mouth with both hands, and his hole body shakes. The fucker knows he has to keep this silent...

-Maybe you're...Maybe you're not right in the head either, because you really, really want to be that pillow.

This might have a part 2, because i think Mitsuri would be prone to this.

[saintsenara]

now, if you'll excuse him, he has to go and fall to his knees before either dumbledore or voldemort.

ok hear me out why must there be an or. why can’t we have snape/dumbledore/voldemort all at once (in the interest of unhinged ships that really could be rather hinged if u think about it, i am waiting patiently for u to tell me how actually, we very much can have snape/dumbledore/voldemort)

hot.

anon, you are so right that snumblemort has the potential to go really, really hard and i am now entirely compelled by it as a concept.

i back each of the constituent two-person pairings entirely - i've written about snumbledore and riddledore, and i know there's an ask sitting in my inbox about snapemort [which i promise i'll get to].

and, i realise, i back them for exceptionally similar reasons.

both snumbledore and riddledore work because the potential for horror baked into them [the age gaps, the fact that dumbledore was both men's teacher, and so on] exist in conjunction with the fact that there would clearly be the foundations for genuinely meaningful relationships chilling cutely among all the ways in which they're fucked up.

all three men are the only people in the series who can be feasibly described as the others' intellectual equals - and all three share the same outlook on what the purpose of magic is and how one ought to relate to it [even if dumbledore hides this behind his shame at how his belief in the value of magic and magical experimentation as power triggered the whole grindelwald debacle...]. i think there's an immediately compelling prompt for a fic in which the three end up being forced to work together to solve some sort of mystery - the chance to pour over ancient manuscripts in candlelit libraries, or race against time to unravel the base of a curse or a poison, or try to figure out a series of puzzles or clues contained within dark objects would be right up their alleys, and nothing's hotter than a man who takes an interest in your sapiosexual pretensions.

but i'm also really interested in the ways in which snumbledore and riddledore really work as the most plausible pairings in which dumbledore can be made to do some actual self-growth.

his canonical relationship with both snape and voldemort is born of his own self-loathing - when he tells snape, in the prince's tale "you disgust me", he's speaking to the memory of a man whose selfish desire to impress someone he loved was utterly destructive; he is not disturbed by meeting the young tom riddle in half-blood prince until he describes himself as "special", and his loathing of the adult voldemort's obsession with fame and notoriety is evidently caused by the fact that these were both things he once [and still] desired.

and he's forced in canon to confront this in his relationship with snape - after snape agrees to kill him in half-blood prince - and to come to regard snape as brave, loyal, steadfast, and trustworthy. he's never - for obvious reasons - made to do this for voldemort in canon [and, indeed, he is strikingly oblivious in half-blood prince to the things about voldemort which inspire harry's sympathy - above all his lingering grief over his mother's death], but i think there are numerous plausible scenarios in which being forced into closer proximity to voldemort could bring this about. the canonical voldemort has an extremely profound - if also extremely odd - sense of honour, and he also possesses the capacity to - in his own little way - be surprisingly brave, and i always think there's something quite moving about fics in which dumbledore has no other option but to recognise this.

and dumbledore having to drop his mask would be good for both snape and voldemort. it's clear in canon that one of the reasons voldemort dislikes dumbledore is that he considers him a hypocrite [especially because he decries voldemort's ambition for public attention while courting such things himself] and that one of the reasons snape dislikes him is that he feels he conceals things from him because he distrusts him, even as he's asking him to risk his life for the order. both of them learning why it is that dumbledore constructed his public mask of benign eccentricity would help them make sense of why he is the way he is.

and it would allow all the similarities between the three to fully emerge. one of the reasons why snapemort really slaps as a ship is because snape and voldemort have so much in common - especially their experiences of childhood poverty, their disappointing fathers who they greatly resemble, and their periphery to the posh, pureblood world they both long to be fully part of and also long to undermine and humiliate. and dumbledore has the shadow of a similarly difficult childhood - and a similarly difficult relationship with his father and his legacy - lurking over him. all three also carry the weight of life-altering grief [even if voldemort is the one of the three unwilling to admit to this]. i think there's a lot of opportunity for the recognition of each in the others that they all canonically use to drive their own loathing to mutate into something which might look a lot like respect...

do i think it would be healthy? ...eh, probably not. all three clearly have really fucked-up views on intimacy and love, for one thing, and i doubt whether any of them really has the potential to let go of their original ways of seeing the others, to be properly honest, or to relinquish the power dynamics established between them from the beginning of their acquaintances.

and yet...

[bastardofvairemont]

|| Smash or Pass: Sebastian de Vairemont ||

Rules: pretty self-explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

Quick Facts

Height: 6'3"

Age: 27

Gender: Cis Man

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Bisexual with a heavy male lean

Pros

Clever

Calculating

Ambitious

Charming

Graceful

Is an excellent dancer

Will compose music for you

Well dressed

Well spoken

Intense

Passionate

Will court you properly like any good nobleman should

Claims he's not a poet, but can be quite poetic

Will ruin someone for looking at you funny

Has somehow managed to keep himself socially relevant without name or title

Cons

Difficult to truly get to know

Wears many public masks to the point that it can be difficult to tell what is a mask and what is Sebastian

Selfish

Power hungry

Desperate to prove his worth

Slow to trust

Afraid of love and it being manipulated as a weakness

Terrified of being abandoned

Is a blooded heretic

Struggles with anger

Morally questionable at best

Is known to have ruined his own sister's marriage and reputation

Is a walking scandal

Is a bastard with no true name or title

Details

Is known to be the bastard son of Lady Ysabel de Vairemont and the executed heretic Declan Mercer, leaving him with one foot in high society and one foot in the Brume. Though, neither world will truly claim him.

Is thought to be the brains behind the running of House Vairemont. While is sister is the formal regent until his nephew reaches his majority, most believe Sebastian to be pulling the strings. A nobleman in all but name.

Lives for music. He plays the violin, piano, and the cello, on top of singing quite well.

Composes music in secret, sharing it only with those he loves. If you receive a piece he has written for you, it is safe to assume he's fallen for you, even if he has yet to say those words.

Can be quite dramatic. He is prone to throwing himself across divans and bemoaning whatever it is that is bothering him in the moment.

Likes to give and receive gifts. In both cases there's usually a crack in his facade and he appears a bit like a kid on starlight.

Is known to be a rake. Most of Ishgardian high society is aware of the fact that Sebastian has slept around quite a lot. Some regard him as something to try at least once before marriage. Though, it's unknown if this is still true given that he is recently betrothed.

Is a blooded heretic and has all of the ups and downs that come with that. Including the fact that he sometimes struggles to control his draconic gifts and can suddenly sprout scales and horns should his emotions get the better of him.

Is rarely ever seen without a cravat and waistcoat. He wears the trappings of a nobleman like armor. If he arrives on a date with his collar open or his sleeves rolled up, he is putting a good bit of faith and trust in you. He might even have feelings.

He is quite intense. Both in his passion for those his loves and his in his quest to prove himself to the world as something more than an bastard that should have been left to the Brume when he was born. This can be a lot for some people. Too much, even.

His alignment is absolutely neutral evil. While this won't be immediately obvious to most who interact with him, the closer you get and the more layers you peel back the more apparent it becomes.

Sexually: Sebastian prefers to take a dominant position in the bedroom. While one could say that he is a switch/Verse, to get him to that point would take quite a lot of work and only one person has been successful thus far. So for all intents and purposes he is a Dom/Top who leans heavily into praise and rewards. He will be as adventurous and experimental as his partner is willing to be.

Romantically: Polyamorous. Depending on his partner he can be quick to catch feelings but slow to reveal them. Love is terrifying for him. Sex is far easier. He will often lead with a sexual relationship only to fall in love later on and struggle with just how to express those feelings, if he should even trust them at all. He is the sort to say 'I love you' in every possible way he can think of before uttering those three little words. Though, once he has fallen in love with someone, they are his world. His everything. His eternal muse. There is very little he won't do for those he loves. And as someone with questionable morals, that says a lot. But, he also tends to open up and become more vulnerable and more honest. There is a sweet, casual, and sometimes goofy side to Sebastian that only those closest to him are allowed to see.

[velvetwarfare]

no but betty 100% is part of the group of sinners that doesn’t care to be redeemed because she thrives off of that awful chaos in hell and wants to purposely break the rules anytime authority tells her not to do something

✨ these are all canon atrocities from her past life that got her there and why I love to emphasize she’s not a good person ✨

- Was immortal and cursed by immortality. Willingly traded her mortality for vampirism. Which was so frowned upon back in medieval times.

- The Gods hated her ass because she was a willing undead that helped other undead. Was a literal walking sin and disruption of the life and death cycle.

- Hated humanity. Has massacred so many humans because of how they treated her kind (and herself). Was such a firm advocate in fuck the selfish human race, wipe them off the fucking planet.

- Burned down many churches. Out of spite.

- Took part in human slavery by proxy of the Skaven (mutated, giant rat men) capturing them and using them as a bait. Had 0 remorse.

- Was a literal fucking war commander of her own batch of Clan Fester. Lieutenant to a Grey Seer. Genocide, clan domination, influenced and instigated many mini wars throughout Ubersreik simply because it was her job to do so and she also had no quarrels with it.

- Human, self, and creature experimentation. Temporarily allied with a rat man mad scientist to further research on creating a monster amongst Skaven and men. Also had 0 quarrels with gathering guinea pigs for it. She put up more of a fight when it came to Skaven experiments since she did respect them more, but ultimately gave in to morbid curiosity and the drive to further her research.

- Ran a sanctuary for the Skaven at one point and did supply them with free food, water, bedding, etc. Literally still continued to experiment on them on the side.

- Has committed treachery at least 3 times in multiple clans. Survival of the fittest really.

- Has slept with a fucking lust demon. Multiple times.

- Would seduce to get her way and sneak into higher ranks. Black widow technique.

- Ran an illegal elixir brewing business that was akin to the black market. Had her rat men distribute it underground to Skavenblight because she’s not stupid enough to go there. Would absolutely sell untested elixirs knowing it could have lethal outcomes. Not like the dead can snitch lmao

- Booby trapped her castle because she once again hated human tourists. Would feed her rat men the bodies or display them outside as a warning.

- Took advantage of her immortality to the fullest. She lived a LONG, LONG duration. Died ten times before finally dying for real. Lived to spite the Gods.

[primalspice]

Ivy - 🎮, 🎶, 🔶, 🚫, 💯, 🎄 , 🍎, 💘, 🍸, 😊, 🤔, 😓, 👨,

🩺

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

She really hasnt had time for hobbies in a long time but she likes reading and gardening and stress journaling

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

I'm not going to say she's also a prog fan but im also not going to say she isnt.................... sorry idk wtf else is going on in the 60s-70s

🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise?

To both, of course. She can do cpr, first aid, plenty of other Doctor Things. Specifics of her medical expertise is that shes a medical oncologist but does radiation therapy also. has participated in Tumor Boards. has participated in research and experimental treatment distribution. and is now stuck in region zero with shitty supplies and unfair working conditions and depression. Great.

🚫 PROHIBITED — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

On special occasions she'll drink, she's never the type to get super crazy with it unless its insane coping hour tho really. Cursed to always be the designated driver if it's a going-out occasion anyway -__-

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

1. YES she owned a gun for self defense. obtained from commies more willing to resort to violence than anyone in her immediate company at the time being. She eventually told Leslie about it, but not selma. one of the few secrets successfully kept between any portion of those three.

2. Faust gets to be named after irrelevant german folklore so so does she. her middle name is Lorelei.

3. Unlike her brother she is horribly afraid of public speaking. Research presentations or like. the entire process of moving to Region Zero even tho it wasnt particularly public (just stating her case to a bunch of new people all the fucking time) is all a fucking nightmare for her. But she perseveres <3

🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday?

Her birthday, if that counts. Fuck the other guy who was born on that day tho.

🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

She and that other guy were born and raised in London Ontario and lived there most of their lives up until college. Ivy went to college in Toronto and continued to live and work there up until Region Zero. As for how she feels about it.... pretty indifferent? Shes of course homesick about it once shes stuck in Region Zero, but while she lived there i think she kinda felt she outgrew it. she didnt, really, but no point in worrying about that anymore <3

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

Shes more individualistic than she comes off/than is expected of her by her Friends but Selma and Leslie are still her besties and still important to her people-wise. Faust too to some degree but ITS COMPLICATED. She liked him more before he sold out -__-

As for other things she finds important, she kinda has Faust's aforementioned disease to where she really feels the need to succeed and mean something to the world, but i mean shes kinda doing a good thing so ??????? she really Does care about helping people it's not entirely selfish, but i think anyone who has such high ambitions is a LITTLE attention-seeking. That doesn't really answer the question tho. What she cares about is healing people LOL towards the End she really struggled to find much purpose at all but generally speaking thats a priority, even if its unrealistic to do it on as large of a scale as she'd wish.

🍸 COCKTAIL GLASS — what is your oc's favorite alcoholic drink, if they can drink?

I think she likes to keep it classy with a wine/champagne situation but i think she should drink more and be less picky, god knows she needs it.

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

She wants to be someone who helps people and helps the world. She wants to be an activist and leader in her profession and she wants to be remembered that way even after she's dead (before dying was an immediate concern, anyway) and she hopes its not selfish to hope for such a thing. SOMEONES gotta do it. It's not shocking that she was the perfect Region Zero candidate, tho, as someone who attaches so much of her worth and being to her career. but being a doctor is more than just a career, right, its PERSONAL. Shes someone who just wants to do the right thing, but if theres two things shes learned its that there never is a right thing and the closest thing to the right thing will never be enough.

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Shes a very quiet/shy/softspoken person in comparison to her obnoxious friends, regardless of her level of unhingedness over the years. She is often caught lost in thought and people think shes really introspective which i suppose is true but its mostly just the depression. She is very accidentally and/or deadpan funny. She suffers from a Canadian accent.

😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?

She's openminded and inquisitive, maybe a little too much for her own good clearly, but she can stick to things that actually mean something to her....except maybe cutting of her shitty brother.....or not using guns.....but that's besides the point. She loves learning and going to new places and hearing different experiences. One might say region zero was the perfect opportunity for that at least <3

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

She grew up with her mom and dad and Faust, who's her only sibling. They were quite spoiled and loved ofc. Im sure they have some grandmas and cousins and such that were also relatively close, but not like her best friends or anything. I think she eventually grew real distant from just about everyone once she started becoming more intense about her work, but the love was still there. when she (and faust) left for region zero, they were rightfully quite concerned but figure that if the Good Twin chose to do it then it couldnt have been too awful of a decision. Oh little did they know.

[alloganes-arc2]

i reached tag limit on a post i wanted to do but.    anyways.    at first glance asmaros may not fit into the archetype of the innamorati simply because they are not motivated by romantic love but trust me they do fit into the archetype.    just not in the way u think

the innamorati in the commedia dell’arte are depicted as two people,  which is a little befitting because asmaros technically is two people.    they are the product of the ritualistic reunion between noor and his disciple’s souls.    their conscious is literally the result of both noor and his disciple being torn apart and sloppily sewn back together to form an independent entity,  hence their initial amnesia and lack of memory when their corpse was awakened,  but remnants of noor and the disciple still remain.    they still whisper to asmaros,  they still writhe and anguish within their awful form.    those remnants,  however,  are not strong enough to act as the dominant conscious over their shared body,  because again,  asmaros is the horrific union of them both.    asmaros is them    /    they are asmaros.    both of their emotions,  every echo of the life they lived,  it is all asmaros’ to suffer and to feel.    (    however,  given noor had been a god who had lived centuries beforehand and the disciple was only a human,  what remains of noor’s memory seemed to be the more powerful of the two in terms of what asmaros remembers.    for example,  asmaros can remember most of noor’s life,  whereas asmaros does even know the name of the other half of them.    )    asmaros’ motivations are the product of the people they are;    they are a hollow shell with only the ghosts of who they were to guide them and they must fulfill the plea of a bygone era in order to feel some imitation of completion.    that rage,  that grief,  it gives them purpose.    noor’s final call for deicide guides them.    the disciple’s devotion and admiration for noor leads them to answer that call.    if they are forsaken of that,  why else do they exist?

one of the innamorati’s biggest characteristics in theater is their selfishness and self-centeredness.    in asmaros’ case,  it is a kind of selfless selfishness.    they are doing this to avenge the god within them.    they believe they are doing this on behalf of every god,  civilization,  and person who has been affected by celestia,  but truly,  it is all for noor.    despite feeling guilt for many of their actions,  asmaros will do anything to bring about their resolve,  even if it means destroying everything and cutting down anyone in their path.

the lovers often faced obstacles preventing them from their happiness and.    man.    that basically summarizes asmaros’ time in the fatui.    every single day since their awakening,  they urged for the fatui’s plans to speed up,  they urged for more direct action instead of waiting.    every time they asked,  those requests were shot down,  they were told to be patient.    and they were patient!    they were patient for fifty years.    asmaros is living on borrowed time;    they are not meant to exist.    their body required heavy experimentation just to stabilize the heavy amount of archon residue in them.    they are literally a bomb just waiting to detonate,  able to enact just as much devastation that leveled munirah,  a devastation that still affects the environment around it even after two thousand years.    the apostates are their means of continuing a fight the fatui are too cowardly to face.    they refused to be bound by bureaucracy for any longer.

the lovers were depicted as overemotional.    asmaros’ biggest downfall is following their emotions.    nearly anything they do is based off of their own emotions and care for their loved ones.    it is all about violence and bloodshed in the name of grief and love.    need i say more

[rjalker]

Anyways remember how we originally stole the Stargate from Egypt, and then when that one got stolen from us by the aliens that we later commit genocide against, how we stole Russia's Stargate and promised to give it back and then never gave it back and we promise to work together with them and team up and then we never did that and then we let them go on one single Stargate Mission and all of them died horribly? Remember how there's an entire episode dedicated to saying that the United States is correct to have lied to the entire rest of the planet about discovering alien technology that puts us light years ahead of everybody else and an entire episode dedicated to saying that America having sole control over the Stargate is the correct and moral decision and the other countries are selfish and whiny and evil for being upset about it.

The entire premise for Stargate is inherently racist, and then they went out of their way to make it blatant US military propaganda. DSG teams carry around automatic weapons "but just for self-defense!!!" And Daniel Jackson murdered at least a dozen, probably more children on screen, and every alien species that we've gone up against in the show has been wiped to Extinction through purposeful of genocide except for the replicators, and the only reason we haven't committed genocide against them is because they replicate so quickly.

Stargate literally dedicates an entire episode to telling us that we should kill the literal babies of our enemies, because by virtue of being the literal babies, literal newborn infants of our enemies, they are inherently evil and irredeemable and cannot be anything except for evil, so the solution is to murder them all.

Daniel Jackson literally kills children on screen and it's a non-issue and we're not supposed to care except for how upset he is about his manpain for his wife. But it's okay that he murdered literal babies on screen, they aren't human, they aren't humanoid, so it's not a big deal. They're evil anyways, they're irredeemable. They should be killed.

That's what this show tells you.

We're only on season 1 of Stargate Atlantis so far and they have already taken a prisoner of war and starved him half to death and then experimented on him and murdered him through experimentation after they even literally brought up the Geneva Convention and then decided nah that doesn't apply here it's fine we are the good guys and these guys are irredeemably evil and they're aliens and they don't have any rights and we're going to commit genocide against them anyway so it doesn't really matter if we commit war crimes and break our own laws

I'm re-watching Stargate. That means I'm going to be fucking talking about it. If you are too much of a fucking coward to admit that Stargate is US military propaganda and super fucking racist, then all you got to do is block me.

If you decide to leave stupid comments on my post telling you to stop talking about how it's blatant propaganda and blatantly racist and blatant fascist propaganda, you will be screenshotted, blocked, and mocked.

[brightbeautifulthings]

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

"'What if sometimes there is no choice about what to love? What if the temple comes to Mohammed? What if you just love? without deciding? You just do: you see her and in that instant are lost to sober account-keeping and cannot choose but to love?'"

Year Read: 2014, 2020

Rating: 5/5

Context: It's hard to know where to begin writing a review for this book. I read it for the first time in graduate school in about five weeks (alongside everything else I had to do in grad school, so I don't recommend that), and it basically blew my mind. At the same time, it's hard to imagine tackling it any other way for the first time. Despite its difficulty, there are things obsessive and immersive and, appropriately, even addictive about it. Full immersion might be the only way to read it for the first time, and I obsessed about it for months afterward. Since I'm not on any deadlines, I took it more slowly this time (21 weeks) so I could enjoy the writing and the nuances without the pressure to finish. For my less coherent weekly updates in real time, see my blog posts. Trigger warnings: Everything, everything. Death (on-page), child death, animal death, suicide, suicidal ideation, rape, pedophilia, possible incest, child abuse/abusive households, graphic violence/gore, eye horror, severe injury, drug use, addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, depression, OCD, grief, racism, ableism, transphobia, sexism, inexplicable hostility toward Canadians.

About: If it's difficult to know how to write a review, it's equally hard to describe what Infinite Jest is about. It's about so many things, tennis, addiction, communication (failures), and entertainment among them, but I'll do my best. Beneath all the numerous characters, timelines, and subplots, the main plot is about a film so entertaining that it kills anyone who watches it, robs them of all desire to do anything but watch it until they die, and what a faction of Canadian assassins will do to possess it. The auteur is James Incandenza, a suicide whose son, Hal, is a prodigy at Enfield Tennis Academy. Next door to E.T.A. is Ennet House, a drug rehabilitation center where Don Gately, former thief and Demerol addict, is taking it day by day to stay sober. Though they don't know it, Hal and Gately are connected, and the deadly Entertainment and those who seek it draw their paths closer and closer together.

Thoughts: It's rare to find a book that is actually as smart as it claims to be, but IJ is--certainly much smarter than I am, despite all my attempts to make sense of it. It starts off strong and doesn't let up for several hundred pages, which is a huge achievement all by itself. Wallace excels at writing extremely polished sections that could almost function alone as short stories, and the first chapter is one of my favorites in all fiction. It's reassuring, I think, to start the book off on a strong note, in case we worried we were in for a thousand pages of tedious slog. It can be both, but it's often heartfelt, insightful, and funny as well, and the payoff is well worth the effort. I don’t know how Wallace manages to pack every page with so much meaning. Anybody can put tedious lists in their books or make reading purposely difficult (and I have attitude about writers who do this for no reason), but there’s nothing haphazard about this book, despite its size and varied focus. Everything seems utterly intentional. The conversations are really top-tier; Wallace has a great ear for how people talk, and it's a fascinating look at how communication works and doesn't work.

Thematically, I think the book succeeds on more than any other level, including plot or structure. If we could say this book is "about" anything, we would almost certainly start with the themes and not the plot, which is often secondary to whatever point Wallace is trying to make at the moment. It takes an in-depth looks at things like addiction, depression, loneliness, failed communication, sincerity v. irony, critiques of postmodernism and metafiction (while being very meta itself, at times), and the very specific selfishness of an American culture that insists on freedom even to the point of self-destruction. At times, it feels a little heavy-handed or like it was yanked right out of an intro to philosophy course, but I suppose something in a thousand pages has to be obvious if we're ever going to pick up on it. A lot of these themes resurface in his other work, from "This is Water" and "E Unibus Pluram" to Orin Incandenza's Brief Interview style Q and A (and he would be a perfectly fitting character in that book).

The characters are some of my favorites in literary fiction as well, particularly the Incandenza family and Don Gately, and to a lesser extent Joelle Van Dyne (although Wallace typically doesn’t write female characters very well, and she comes with some issues). Hal and Gately couldn't be more different; Hal excels at everything he's ever done, and Gately has a record that includes accidental homicide on it. Hal is the hero of non-action, since little that happens in the book is engineered by him, while Gately is closer to the more typical hero of action, who defends the undeserving at great cost to himself. Yet their struggles with addiction are similar, and they both manage to be incredibly sympathetic characters. In my opinion, the book is always at its best when we’re with Hal or Gately, but I’m strongly driven by good characters. Despite being dead, James Incandenza's presence is also felt all over the book, from the Entertainment he created to his haunting ETA and sticking beds to the ceiling (probably the weirdest ghost I've ever seen in fiction). He's a tragic character in a book full of tragic characters. The others are too numerous to name, from the other tennis players at ETA and recovering addicts at Enfield, to the various bystanders populating Boston. We get brief glimpses into almost all of them, and while they may not all feel relevant at the time, most are memorable or heart-wrenching or slapstick funny, or all three. It's a book that contains multitudes.

That's not to say it's always on point though, and it isn't. There are a number of very serious problems with representation in this novel, and they're as bad as its detractors claim. A lot of the 90s humor aged very poorly, but that's not an excuse for some of the unabashedly racist depictions of African Americans, the uncharitable descriptions of Steeply's and Poor Tony's cross-dressing, or--however much I love him as a character--the fact that Mario Incandenza’s descriptions are ableist in just about every possible way. Wallace thinks he's capturing "voice" when he's really encouraging harmful stereotypes. The humor of the novel often doesn’t depend at all on these stereotypes and would in fact, be a lot more funny if I wasn’t spending so much energy cringing at it. So many of the little racist and ableist asides could have easily been edited out of the entire novel to make it less offensive. There are also sections where he seems at pains to be as gross as possible for its own sake. There are plenty of things grim or uncomfortable or flat out distasteful about this book, but sometimes the graphic violence kind of jumps out and stabs you in the eye, say, with a railroad spike.

If there are times when I was totally absorbed in the little tragedies of the Incandenza family or Gately's struggles, there are plenty more where it's like pushing something heavy up a hill. No lie, some of it is slogging through tedious minutiae and various experimental writing styles (some more successful and less offensive than others). Wallace has a gift for purposeful tedium; it’s at its peak in The Pale King, but he gives it a nice warm-up round here. The novel is difficult and meant to be, since Wallace maintained that some of the best pleasures are the ones we have to work for, and he's not totally off base. There's something very satisfying about living, for a time, in a book that spans a thousand pages, that demands focus and perseverance, and manages to give back (almost) as much as it takes. The book is always structurally interesting, but it starts to get more complicated toward the end as various characters and plots begin to almost slide into one another. I forgot how frustrating it was to near the end and realize--again--that it wasn't going to wrap up with any kind of satisfaction; the various plots slide, but they don’t meet. I thought if I paid closer attention on a second read that I would pick up more of the plot things I’d missed on my first, but I think the problem is that those answers simply aren’t to be found in the actual text. Of course, they can point us toward various conclusions, and the novel certainly encourages us to speculate and make connections, but I don’t think the actual answers are there.

That brings me to some of my final thoughts, for now. There's no doubt that this is a hugely successful book, and I believe it accomplished exactly what Wallace meant it to do. He jokingly referred to it as a failed entertainment, much the way Jim considered his lethal Entertainment a failure, but I have the sense that Wallace, unlike Jim, failed on purpose. The book purposely pays more attention to structure and theme than it does to plot or character, yet the plot and characters are hugely compelling for what we see of them. Imagine the book it could have been if he had paid equal attention to all of them. Wallace attempted to create a book that people wouldn't want to stop reading. Reaching the end certainly encourages us to begin again, as the first chapter is actually the last in chronology, but that trick only works the first time. By my second read, I realized that starting over wouldn't help me fill in any of those blanks or answer any of my questions, and I was content to let it go. On the one hand, IJ depends upon its structure to tell the story it's telling. On the other, think of the book it could have been if it spent more time telling a story and developing its characters and less time belaboring a point. It's one of the best books I've ever read, and the tragedy is that I think it could have been even better.

[talesfromthepayload]

The Fall Part Two

A/N: Did I get totally distracted and let this take over my life? Yes, I did. Do I regret it? Only a little bit. Also, the reader’s intended age for the purpose of this fic is 23 at the start. (So yeah, there’s a bit of an age difference, but this is also me being entirely self indulgent.) This chapter is kind of heavily focused on Gabriel, but don’t worry the other two will be very involved coming up. 

Gabriel Reyes did not make decisions lightly.

Despite the fact that they seemed often impulsive or lacking certain forethought, he knew what he was doing, and he was confident doing it. Hiring you was not a mistake.

Jack had called him and Gérard in a few days prior to discuss your onboarding. He, too, had been intrigued by what you had to offer, but he’d been hesitant. They’d found an issue while reviewing your history, and it’d become clear that your file had been tampered with. If Gabriel had to wager a guess, he’d say you did it.

So, Jack hesitated. He wanted to dig around more, try and see why it needed to be tampered with to begin with. But Gabriel wasn’t going to let your potential go. He needed Blackwatch agents, had for a while, but those with the potential were few and far between.

He knew Jack was going to be pissed when he realized what he’d done, but he couldn’t quite find it in himself to be sorry. His intuition hasn’t failed him yet.

He leaned back with his feet on his desk, watching the security feed. He didn’t give you any information, a final test to see if you were as good as he thought you were.

Genji and McCree had tried to convince him to spar this morning, but he wasn’t passing up the opportunity of watching you walk through those doors.

It was seven o’clock on the dot when he saw your familiar figure. You were dressed in all black, a jumpsuit tailored specifically to that suit of armor you had built it seemed. It clung to you like a second skin, and had a deep v-neck in the front. There was a briefcase in one hand that helped you blend in with some of the higher ups.

Reyes knew the minute he saw you he was going to have one hell of a time keeping McCree away. The boy flirted with anything with a pulse. You were young, far too young for any of them to be looking at you, and pretty.

Maybe he was being selfish by bringing you to Blackwatch. They were all jaded and scarred, and you looked like you’d fit perfectly in Angela’s Valkyrie suit.

Still, a certain amount of pride swelled in his chest as he watched you navigate through the wide expanse of the Swiss base. There was no hiccup in your step, nothing suggesting you were anywhere you shouldn’t be.

You were even swiping into rooms that should’ve been entirely out of access for you, yet that didn’t stop you. It was mesmerizing, to be quite honest, the way you walked through crowds like you had every right to be there.

You didn’t stop until you were in the hallway outside of his office, and he sat up straighter to greet you. However, you paused, taking a moment to look up at the camera. Your eyes met his through the screen, and there was a pleased smile on your lips.

He echoed the gesture, letting out a few breathy laughs, before a knock sounded at his door. You didn’t wait for him to answer, instead walking through the threshold with the same confidence you had throughout the base.

“You need better security,” you commented.

Gabriel walked around his desk so that there was nothing but a few feet of air between the both of you.

“There are very few people who could do what you just did,” he said, shrugging one shoulder.

Your lips were pulled in amusement but you didn’t offer anything more on the subject. You laid your briefcase to rest nearby, and he couldn’t help but wonder what was in there or if it was just for show.

“Blackwatch, huh?” Your eyes darted around the room before they settled on him.

He found himself unconsciously standing straighter and puffing his chest out.

“Overwatch didn’t strike me as the type to have secret divisions,” you admitted, taking a few steps closer to him. “And boy do you get into some trouble.”

There was something distinctly playful in your gaze, and Gabriel thought it was more charming than anything. He’d never been a stickler for the rules like Jack, thus his relationship with the agents under him was a little more lax. You were blatantly flirting though, and he found it absolutely amusing.

He realized right then and there that putting you and McCree in the same room was a recipe for disaster.

“I’d say you do too, but I can’t be sure with that fake file you sent us.”

It was a callout- a challenge, really, and boy did you rise to it.

“We all have secrets, Gabriel,” you shrugged nonchalantly, gesturing to the door. “Like hiring me without consulting the Strike Commander.”

As if on queue, Jack shoved the door out of his way. Ana was close on his heels, like she was trying to temper the storm. Genji had followed them in, obviously drawn to the commotion. Gabriel knew that McCree had wandered off, not bothering to stick around if he didn’t need to. You had a quirked brow, and despite the anger of his oldest friend, he couldn’t be drawn away from the small smirk on your lips.

“Gabriel I told you to-”

He stopped short, his loud voice deafening instantly as he noticed your presence.

He was taken aback, just for a moment, though Gabriel recognized the look in Jack’s eyes. Yeah, he may have also wanted you on Blackwatch because he knew that Jack had a type, and you were most definitely his type. Intelligent, good looking, quick witted, and frustratingly optimistic- he knew that, even if it was done unconsciously, Jack would want you under his command because of it. That and the fact that he’d seen Jack spend hours reading about the work you’d done like it was the damn gospel.

“Don’t stop on my account,” you giggled, holding your hands up in surrender.

The Strike Commander blinked, clearly caught off guard.

Ana cleared her throat, shooing away Genji and shutting the door behind him, leaving the four of you alone in his office. The anger on Jack’s face was lessening, and his exterior was becoming more fitting of his title.

“Apologies, I didn’t realize you were here already.” His voice was tight, and he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Gabriel was leaning back, looking for all the world like he could care less about what was transpiring. In reality, he was very interested in how the esteemed Strike Commander would act.

“I figured,” you nodded your head in Gabriel’s direction, “Someone’s not very forthcoming with information.”

His expression didn’t show an ounce of regret. If anything, his lack of telling you important information further proved how much his team could use you.

Jack bit his tongue, and Ana piped up to fill the silence.

“You know, Jack, I think Gabriel might be right on this one.”

You sent a warm look towards Ana, and it brought a smile to his face. Ana had always had a motherly attitude about her, it made people gravitate towards her.

“I know,” Jack sighed, running a hand through his blonde- slightly greying- hair, before holding it out to you.

You took it without hesitation, shaking firmly.

“I’m Jack Morrison,” he introduced himself, gesturing to the woman behind him. “This is Captain Ana Amari, though I’ve heard you’ve already met. And that is-”

“We’ve had introductions already,” Gabriel assured him, unable to help but add on: “I hope Genji didn’t make too much of a mess.”

You shrugged, walking past him with the same confidence you had making your way there in the first place.

“I figured now that we’re all friendly we can talk about my stolen research.”

You didn’t waste any time. Gabriel moved to watch from over your shoulder when you started typing on his computer. He was a bit miffed you hadn’t even asked him, but thoroughly impressed when three beeps sounded, alerting to the others in the room that you had successfully logged on.

“What was the research on?” Jack asked. “I’ve been reviewing your other projects, but I’m assuming you kept the one Talon stole private.”

“You assume correctly,” you smiled, looking up to shoot him a wink before going back to whatever it was you were doing.

Gabriel didn’t miss the small blush that colored Jack’s cheeks.

“IPI,” you said, pressing a couple of buttons on your watch. “Access file 07129.”

“Accessing,” a robotic voice replied.

You pinched your fingers together above your watch, before expanding them. As you did so, a holographic projection jumped to life around you. Gabriel couldn’t be too sure of what he was looking at, but it resembled the watch you wore around your wrist.

“What is it?” He finally questioned.

You puffed out a breath.

“Well, it was the first trial of my experiment.” You explained, spinning the hologram so that they could see all of the angles. “When I was a kid I wanted to save my mom. There wasn’t anything I could do realistically, so I started looking at the impossible.”

You came around Gabriel’s desk to lean gently against the front.

“Two years ago I had my first major breakthrough with temporal manipulation. I used chronal acceleration to propel an object forward in time, though just by a few seconds.”

You fiddled with your watch.

“Further experimentation and research brought me to a final conclusion. Three weeks ago I solved the mystery of time travel.”

Whatever Gabriel had been expecting, it had not been that. It didn’t sound real. There was no way somebody could just travel through time, was there?

“It took a lot of time. I had to input different equations and study the theory itself, but if they decode my work they’re going to have a fully fledged time machine on their hands and the whole of history to mess with.”

The friends shot each other looks as the room petered off into quiet once more. There was an uneasy air about, and Gabriel shifted his stance.

“Let’s get to work finding it then,” Jack finally stated, a hand moving towards the communicator by his ear.

You didn’t give him a chance to continue.

“Already done,” you exclaimed. “Atleast, potential hits.”

You fiddled with the holographic interface in front of you, lines of code swirling around your person.

“I’ve cross referenced the file number I originally gave the design through every major international database, as well as a few minor ones that have had previous ties to Talon. Most of the searches came up empty, but I did find a repeat of the word ‘chronos’ in the few encryptions I could find.”

“So they named it,” Reyes realized.

The grin you gave him was dazzling and wide.

“Project chronos got a lot more hits, though the information was scattered. You see, Talon doesn’t use its own mainframe for most of their work. They encrypt data into other locations and spread them out at seemingly random, so it’s difficult to follow.”

“But you followed it?” Jack inquired, a small smile tugging on his lips. It was obvious he was more than impressed.

“Sort of,” you conceded, “Like I said, it’s exceedingly difficult to track, but I managed to narrow down the locations.”

Jack and Ana shared a look, before he leveled you with that proud commander smile he’d nearly perfected.

“Good work, soldier. Send the coordinates and we’ll get recon teams there as soon as possible.”

With a swipe of your hand, the holographic images disappeared.

“Better yet, I’ll bring you there.”

Gabriel frowned at the sudden fall in Jack’s expression. He knew that Jack wouldn’t be letting you out into the field anytime soon. It wasn’t protocol, and Jack had enough people breathing down his neck.

“You still have to finish your basic training,” Ana said softly, taking a step forward.

You furrowed your brows.

“I can finish it later.” You assured them. “This is a hell of a lot more pressing.”

Jack shook his head, trying for a more gentle approach.

“We can’t let agents into the field who haven’t finished their initial training.”

“But this is my research…”

Your eyes were pleading with the two of them. Ana looked stern, but Jack couldn’t maintain eye contact. It was clear he wanted you on the mission too, if only because you knew what you were doing. 

“We’ll send a recon team, and if you finish your basic training quickly enough, you can be a part of the strike team.”

Gabriel made the decision for them, and though you didn’t seem entirely satisfied, the answer still had you nodding. Jack gave him a look, one that told him they’d be having a long discussion later on, and turned his attention back to you.

“You’ll be reporting to me for your training.”

Gabriel wondered why he was keen on training you himself. He didn’t personally train recruits anymore- hadn’t for a while.

“As for Blackwatch,” Jack leveled Gabriel with a hard stare. “Gabriel will handle any additional training.”

He inclined his head in acknowledgement, letting the man know he understood. Jack was leaving your combat skills mostly to Gabriel. 

Jack turned his back to where you stood, effectively ending the conversation. He only made it as  far as the door before he stopped himself short.

“I did want to ask,” he began, “Why the fake documents?”

One hip was propped forward, and you looked as comfortable as could be. Your smile was a fair bit mischievous as you stretched languidly.

“I can’t show my hand before you’ve shown yours.”

Ana hid her smirk.

“Right,” Morrison affirmed, stomping away with the same confidence and authority he always wielded.

Ana was quick to follow, though her steps were quieter.

A tenseness settled in the air with them gone, and Gabriel didn’t dare to be the first to interrupt it. You were idly tapping your fingers on his desk, seemingly lost in thought. Finally, after a few moments, you pulled yourself from your own thoughts.

“So,” you drawled, siddling on up to him with your brightest, most friendly smile. “When’s the tour?”

Gabriel fought the twitch of his lips, instead giving you a deadpan look.

“Training starts now.”

It was a statement you barely had time to register before his fist was flying out. You dodged it narrowly, taking a few steps back to find a proper fighting stance.

“You sure are violent,” you muttered.

He didn’t offer a verbal response, instead going for a second strike. When you moved to avoid the attack, he changed tactics last minute, forcing you to the ground. The floor was cold and hard, leaving your back arched at the sudden sensation.

“Okay, not cool.”

“Sloppy,” Gabriel tsked from above, looking like he put no effort into taking you down.

The anger that morphed onto your face reminded him of a cat getting ready to retract its claws. Cute was a word that came to mind, though he didn’t dare say it out loud for fear of pissing you off more.

You rolled out of his reach before jumping back to your feet. Your movements were quick, but unpracticed. You definitely would be able to hold your own against your regular run of the mill civilians, but he was sure you’d need far more practice before you could start taking on fully trained soldiers.

Your eyes were calculating, and he found it a bit unnerving how you seemed to be reading him. From what he’d seen already, and what he’d found in your file, you were a genius. God only knows what you’d found on him already.

He didn’t move a muscle as you approached slowly, cautiously. His stance was firm, and he was ready to go back on the offensive should you decide for an impromptu attack. Still, he watched your body grow closer with a raised brow. Your movements were poised, an elegance not suited for a soldier.

His heart thumping wildly in his chest was the only noise as you leaned up to your tiptoes, keeping less than an inch away from his body. His fingers twitched, and he was idly aware of just how pretty you were. Dangerous was the word his mind supplied. Too pretty and young to keep his mind on more pure thoughts, and it had been so very long since he’d given into more carnal desires.

“You lose,” you whispered, the words kissing his ear, forcing a shiver down his spine.

Your proximity stuttered his system, and it took far longer than normal for him to realize what you’d said.

A questioning hum vibrated in his chest.

You pulled back the smallest bit, a wicked smile on your glossy lips that spoke of a danger he didn’t dare name. Being the devilish little thing you were, you winked, and nodded your head to something just behind him.

He tore his eyes from you, only to be met with the glowing stare of your suit of armor. It had the arm raised, the repulsor beam charged and ready to fire at a moment’s notice. How it’d managed to sneak up on him, he couldn’t be sure, but a frown pulled at his lips.

“That’s cheating.”

His voice was low enough to be a growl. He hoped you could hear the disappointment in it. (Though, if he were being completely honest, he was more disappointed in himself.)

You laughed, a light, melodic sound compared to the normal gruff voices that lingered through the halls of Blackwatch.

“Well, this is not what I expected,” a voice drawled lazily from the doorway.

Gabriel wanted to curse at McCree, but he held his tongue and glared at him instead.

“I think Clint Eastwood got lost,” you mock whispered to the commander.

His frown deepened in an effort to avoid smiling. You either didn’t notice or didn’t care, moving away to properly greet the new arrival.

“Jesse McCree,” Jesse tipped his hat, all charming smiles and vexatious eyes. Even the introduction of his name was a flirt.

“(Y/N),” you replied in kind, and Gabriel didn’t care for the way your name rolled from your tongue. It had far too many implications for one word.

“Pleasure, darlin’.” His voice was smoother than honey.

Gabriel cleared his throat, hoping to draw some attention away from the flirty cowboy and back to the mission at hand.

“I don’t doubt it,” you chuckled gently, eying him up and down before you turned back towards the commander.

“Don’t you have a sparring session to finish, McCree?” The commander bit out, crossing his arms over his chest.

His expression was nothing but intimidation, and the cowboy didn’t look the slightest bit perturbed.

“I was looking for something more interesting to do,” he explained with a shrug. “Looks like I found her.”

You puffed out a breath.

“That one usually work for you?”

“McCree,” Gabriel’s voice was venomous, and despite the cool facade on the younger agent’s face, he knew when pushing his commander was taken too far.

“Right,” Jesse inclined his head, “I’ll be off, but feel free to visit me anytime, sweetheart.”

Gabriel didn’t care to hide the annoyance on his features at the smile you had on yours. Despite McCree’s swift exit, you hadn’t made an effort to turn from where he was standing.

“You sure do have some characters,” you finally said, breaking the silence.

Gabriel blamed his anger on the interruption and useless chatter. Though, maybe it was because of the way your attention shifted so easily to whoever demanded it.

“The suit,” he gruffed, throwing an accusatory thumb to where it stood ready for an attack behind him.

The gun metal grey exterior was sleek, and the body looked almost identical to an outline of your own. Blue lights lined the feet and arms, and despite the flashy look, he knew they held purpose. Clearly, this could house you if you so chose it to. 

“The original,” you said, pressing something on the screen of your watch.

The suit operated almost like an omnic would, though he knew there was no consciousness about it. The lights flickered off, and he watched with interest as the suit disassembled itself, until nothing was left but an unsuspecting briefcase. If he hadn’t witnessed it with his own eyes, he probably wouldn’t have believed it.

“It’s not as high tech as the newer models, but it certainly does in a pinch.”

“And you made that?” He asked for confirmation, in genuine awe of your capabilities.

“Nearly eighteen months ago now,” you smiled, though unlike the teasing or mischievous ones, this one was genuine. “If you think that’s cool wait until you see the rest of them.”

He nodded his head in the direction of the door.

“I think it’s time I take you on that tour,” he declared, picking the briefcase off the ground and handing it back to you. “There’s a few people you might be interested in meeting, and a few places I think you’ll enjoy.”

Your fingers brushed his as you took a hold of your briefcase. The contact was fleeting, but warm.

“Lead the way.”

[9ofspades]

The biggest problem in the Hole Problem Discourse TM is the paradigm of moral absolutism on tumblr.  Anyone trying to label or pigeonhole Simone as a “good” or “bad” person is missing the point of the entire show.  

We’ve seen in the past few episodes that no character on this entire show is fully incapable of changing.  Eleanor changed to be a better person.  Jason grew as a person and learned restraint.  Michael had been torturing people for thousands of years and got to the point where he was willing to sacrifice himself to save the four humans.  Hell, even Eleanor’s mom changed and became a decent parent.  

The Judge’s tests showed that Chidi was still indecisive, Tahani was still focused on what people thought of her, and Jason was still way too impulsive towards the end of season 2.  Michael’s argument, which the Judge and the entire show support, was that a one-time test to see how good a person any given human is at the time, based on the choices they made, was a terrible way of evaluating a human’s moral worth given how complicated and ever-evolving humans are.  

Deciding to abandon Brent in the hole is one decision, much like the Judge’s tests.  The show has established time and time again that humans are not “good” or “bad” based on one decision they make in their lives, no matter how important.  

Admittedly, some people in the Discourse aren’t arguing that Simone is a good or bad person, but rather that she didn’t actually change or confront her character flaws during the experiment, which would absolutely negatively affect her point total based on The Good Place’s moral system.  That’s a fair point.  

There is a lot of blue sky, to use Marc Evan Jackson’s phrase, between being a “good” person and a “bad” person.  Eleanor spends the entire first season arguing this:  The idea that you have to be one-in-a-million levels of good or else you spend eternity being tortured is fundamentally flawed.  (Even though pre-redemption Eleanor was kind of an objectively bad person, the point stands)  In the Hole Problem, Chidi’s choice sets him apart by making him one of the one-in-a-million people who would actually have risked his soul to help a... toilet full of broccoli.  That doesn’t mean that anyone who didn’t choose the same thing is automatically a bad person.   The world isn’t divided into “saints” and “bad people”; there is absolutely a universe of grey in-between.  If you wouldn’t run into a burning building to save a child, you aren’t necessarily a “bad person”; you are just a person who didn’t make the most selfless moral choice in that particular moment.  It’s what you choose to do or become throughout your entire life that might maybe come close to determining where you fall on the good/bad spectrum.  

 Simone is operating by a different moral system than Chidi and the people who are saying she’s a “bad person”, and while Chidi is mature enough as a philosopher to recognize and respect that, most of the naysayers on tumblr are not.  

By his own particular moral standards, Chidi was absolutely doing the right thing in that particular moment.  

However, from a utilitarian perspective, all Chidi actually accomplished was to hurt both Simone and himself, a negative net effect.  He made a good choice with the absolute best of intentions.  I would personally argue that this is a reason why Chidi deserves to be in the Real Good Place.  But the perspective that Chidi made the wrong decision is also valid:�� While the sentiment was nice, Chidi didn’t actually help Brent out of the hole.  He accomplished nothing on that front.  Moreover, he landed himself in the hole and inconvenienced Michael & Co, who then had to save him; and his rigid moral philosophy caused him to break up with Simone, who likely thought she would never see him again and that he would end up being tortured for eternity.  The net impact of his actions could easily have done more harm than good, even if most of us adopt him as a sweet being too good and pure for this world.  (Luckily this was all an experiment, Simone’s probably going to see Chidi again at some point, and Chidi might have actually saved all of humanity from being tortured.) 

Simone, by contrast, was running with the high probability of saving both herself and John, as opposed to the mere possibility of saving Brent, which, even if it had been successful, might have doomed all four of them in the process.  From a rational choice perspective, if they had actually been in hell, her choice might have led to more net good -- Brent was probably doomed anyway, so the main difference was just whether she was tortured along with him.  This might not have been her actual rationale, but from that perspective she was making the only rational choice available to her.  

It can easily be argued based on what we saw of the accounting office in Season 3 that Simone’s actions ended in net good, since they directly resulted in Chidi being able to speak to Brent alone about what a terrible person he was, and Brent finally having the time and space to process that and feel remorse.  So from that perspective, Simone technically did a good deed as well by leaving Brent in the hole.  

(There are numerous possibilities for what Simone was thinking, and there are multiple systems under which she could have been making an ethical decision.  The point is not to argue for which one, or to try to ascribe motives to her, but rather to point out that Chidi’s and Michael’s brands of ethics are not the only brands of ethics in this world, even if they are in the world of The Good Place, so it’s entirely premature to try to classify even just Simone’s decision as objectively, inarguably “good” or “bad” based on those ethical frameworks, let alone Simone herself as a person.)  

Another possible key distinction here is between preventative and retributive justice.  

Some people are arguing that the only possible moral decision would have been to save Brent, because he couldn’t have actually harmed any of them without systematic privilege on his side; the worst he could do was to try to fight them or say terrible things to them.  That’s coming from the perspective that the only valid form of justice is to prevent bad things from happening in the future.  Which kind of goes against the whole premise of a Bad Place.  But regardless of whether that’s wrong or right according to the show, that is only one possible perspective on morality, justice, and punishment.  

An alternative perspective is that it is one’s moral duty to leave Brent in the hole so that he can be punished for his actions.  We’ve seen throughout the season that Brent has not done a single good deed either on earth or during his year in the afterlife, with some exceptions (picking up a fork for a waiter, holding a door for someone, both of which were for the purpose of getting into the “Best Place”).  He didn’t have Eleanor’s excuse of having to fend for himself his entire childhood, having grown up in a place of wealth and privilege, and he also actively hurt people through gross negligence and apathy and a fundamental lack of self-awareness.  If you’re coming at it from a retributive perspective, he absolutely deserves to be punished for the life - and year-long experimental afterlife - that he lived, and trying to save him from that violates principles of justice and is the wrong thing to do.  

Admittedly, John has also done terrible things in his life, and it’s possible that Simone feels she has a few skeletons in her closet; the moral duty in those cases might be for both of them to stay so they can be punished as well.  In this case, they’re still choosing to make the selfish decision to save themselves even if it goes against principles of justice, but, hey, pobody’s nerfect.  No absolute philosophical framework can be followed exactly, which is why they’re more like guiding principles you strive for than actual laws you have to follow 24/7.  Simone might be making a mistake here even according to that philosophical framework, but it isn’t an irredeemable one.  

While Chidi disagrees as much as humanly possible with Simone’s decision, he ultimately doesn’t tell her off, try to explain ethics to her, or tell her that she’s a bad person.  Instead, he just says, “I respect your position”.  This isn’t him being passive or polite.  He genuinely recognizes that Simone holds a different philosophical position from him, and that while his particular brand of ethics would say that Simone is being wrong and bad, his ethical viewpoint is not universal and it isn’t his place to judge all other people in the world by it.  He recognizes that different brands of ethics exist, that it’s possible to lead a good or ethical life doing something a Kantian would morally forbid, and that he is not the sole judge of morality.  Simone isn’t a “bad person” because she did something that Chidi and the Soul Squad disagreed with.  She’s simply operating under a different moral perspective.  

It’s fairly safe to say that people saying Simone is a bad person for abandoning Brent would believe Chidi is doing the right thing and being a good person.  And that most of us want to be more like Chidi in that particular instance.  To do that, though, we all have to have the humility and philosophical understanding that ours is not the only valid viewpoint, and that things that oppose our tenets of morality are not objectively “good” or “bad”.  This nuance is the entire point of The Good Place, after all.  Let’s do what the show wanted us to do all along, and come at these messy philosophical quandaries from a place of questioning and empathy instead of knee-jerk judgment and condemnation.  

[droogiesanddiscourse]

NSFW Alphabet - Alex DeLarge

Introducing Alex DeLarge and you, and the wild sexcapades the two of you get up to.

WARNINGS: NSFW content, Slight dub!con, slight abusive relationship behaviors, Alex being an in-character dick to you. Read with caution! 

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He doesn’t really have much of a concept of aftercare. I mean, does he stick around after you’re done? Yeah, but he’s quite distant after the deed has been done. Alex has a lack of “intimate” feelings. If you really, REALLY insist he’ll cuddle and be the big spoon for a while (but only if you reward him for being such a good sport by a blowjob...)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part(s) are his hands. He loves how large they are in comparison to your small frame. How they practically engulf your neck, the marks they leave on you, how his fingers look when they are wrapped around your pretty lips....he loves everything about it. 

As for you, Alex loves your thighs. He loves squeezing them when you ride him, the feeling of them wrapped around his face, and placing delicate kisses along them. He see’s you as a beautiful little porcelain doll that he can break.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Alex doesn’t believe in using protection. He’s one of those people that believes it isn’t the same with a rubber on. But at least his pull out game is on point, he knows what he’s doing - The last thing he needs in his life is little droogs running around everywhere... Don’t worry though, he’ll pull out, and usually will cum on your face or breasts. He effectively sees this as “marking his territory,” so to speak. Sure, Alex may not have romantic feelings, but he still has an overprotective and bearing ideology that you are “his” and no other droog or individual for that matter will ever touch his property.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While he’ll never admit it himself, Alex has had experimental sexual relationships with all the members of his gang. And yes, he has been bottomed before, and quite liked it. If you really wish to label his sexuality, he’s most likely to consider himself pansexual. He’s just looking for a good time, and doesn’t matter where (or who) it comes from. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You’re not the first person Alex has ever slept with, and you certainly won’t be the last. And you know this. He’s VERY experienced, and knows exactly how to please you. However, as experienced as Alex is, he is also a very selfish lover. His pleasure always comes before yours (and, well, he comes before too jalksdjfklasj), and there are many nights he leaves you unsatisfied. If he’s tired, you’ll just have to finish on your own babe. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything where he remains the dominant position. Personally, his favorite would be having you on your hands and knees, right in front of his wall to wall mirror in his bedroom (that has to have SOME purpose to it, right?) He has one hand interlocked within your hair, he always yanks your hair back to force you to look at yourself in the mirror. 

“Look at you, my malenky devotckha, all shagged and fashed and ragged because of my cock? You sodding whore, you love it when ‘ol Alex treats you like this, don’t you? Don’t you dare look away from the mirror, love. I want you to viddy what I do to you...” 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very, very serious. He takes this so seriously. Also, Alex doesn’t have much humor in his body to begin with, let alone when having sex. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s very maticulous about his looks. He might have some hair, but nothing too unruly or wild. He keeps it rather neat and trim for you. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Intimacy does not exist for Alex. Sex is used for physical pleasure, and nothing more. Don’t expect to have an intimate, loving relationship with Alex. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Alex doesn’t jack off - let’s be honest, if he wants to get off, he’ll just come find you wherever the hell you are. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

The real question is what kinks doesn’t Alex have? BDSM, daddy dom, spanking. The list goes on and on. Once again reiterating the dominating aspects of his personality, Alex loves to be in control of you. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He doesn’t particularly have a favorite location. He just, does it where he can get it pretty much. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going 

ANYTHING. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

As mentioned before, Alex is incredibly protective over you. So don’t think that you’ll ever be able to convince him into a threesome. Alex would also never intentionally hurt you. Yes, he can get a little rough, but he would never cause any reversable physical damage to you. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Alex is extremely skilled in the art of oral. He uses his tounge on you while he stares up at you with his piercing blue eyes, never breaking eye contact. He loves watching you come undone for him. And to be honest, it’s his favorite barganing tool. He’s been more of a jerk to you that usual? Oral. Got dragged out to a droog outing you didn’t want to go to? Oral. Bad week? Oral. It’s Tuesday? Probably oral. However don’t think you’re gonna get off easy, Alex will ALWAYS expect you to return the favor. This boy does nothing without something in return.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Alex wouldn’t know what “slow and sensual” sex would be if it hit him in the face. Sex with Alex is raw, fast, and rough. If you can’t walk for a few days, he knows he’s done his job well. And trust me, he’ll point it out too just to boost his ego.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

Alex is all for quickies, again he’s looking for immediate gratification. There will be nights where you’re up late, reading a book or something, and he’s just come back from a bit of the ol ultraviolence with his droogies and still running on high energy (as well as drugs). He’ll climb up and tap on your bedroom window until you let him in, and he’ll fuck you right then and there, releasing all his pent up energy into you. And if you’re asleep? Well...Alex has been known to take what is his without being given explicit permission... 

He doesn’t have much social cues or respect when he’s out with either the gang or your friends. He’ll grab you and drag you to the nearest bathroom or alleyway if he’s feeling rather frisky at any given moment, and needs his “little droog” to be taken care of. He’s not even subtle, it’s very blatanly obvious when the two of you return moments later with your makeup and hair mussed up and Alex’s satisfied, smug grin. If he’s horny, he’s gonna do something about it (and that something he’s gonna do is you). 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

With Alex’s tendencies of exhibitionism, of course he’s game to take risks. Sometimes a little bit too far, you’d say. Like the time Alex convinced you to have sex in the back of his (stolen) car during a drive in movie. He had your naked body shoved up against the car window, as you panicked and tried to reason with him. 

“Alex, we can’t do this! Someone will see us!” 

“Let them watch, we will be, like, giving them a better show than whatever gloopy cine is on the telly up there”

That lead to a very lovely fine for indecent exposure. You won’t ever let him live that one down. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

About three rounds before he throws in the towel for the night. He has a high sex drive, but we all have our limits. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He really doesn’t see the appeal in them whatsoever, even when you express your interest in using toys together. 

“Like why would thou want a gloopy plasti-wasti piece of trash when thou can just have like, the real vesch?”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This. Little. Jerk.

Alex is the ultimate king of teasing and edging. He’s an absolute jerk but I’m pretty sure you already knew that. You and the droogs might just be having a glass of moloko plus at the bar and this little asshole just, picks you up and forces you into his lap, whispering naughty things into your ear. 

“Do you, like, feel that, love? Thou might think like, I’m hiding a weapon in my platties with how bolshy it feels, but thou would be wrong. It’s just my very bolshy, big pan-handle. And maybe if you decide to be a good devotchka, I might just let you touch it.” 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Alex himself is pretty quiet during the actual act, he doesn’t make a lot of noise. He doesn’t shut up though, always whispering dirty things into your ears. Alex also has a huge praise kink, he wants to hear how he’s doing, how good he is, how he’s making you feel. He prides himself on the sounds he gets you to make. He wants you to be loud enough that the neighbors / his droogies can hear exactly what you two are up to. 

W - Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Alex DeLarge is a man about risks - how far can he go to get the pleasure he’s looking for? He’s a major exhibitionist. One of his proudest moments was taking you on a beautiful “”date”” (if you consider it) to an orchestral concert. Impressed with his grand gesture, you take your seat and wonder if Alex is starting to take a genuine, emotional liking to you? However, not long after the orchestra starts to play, you feel Alex’s hand slowly slide up your thigh as he gives you a suspicious side eye. You immediately tense up and bite down on your finger to surpress a moan as he slips two fingers into your panties. You close your eyes shut as tight as they can, and try to ignore him. Alex jolts you back in to reality by whispering to you with a faux innocent tone, “Oh dear, (Y/N), is thou, like, feeling all vesch? You’re shaking...” all while having that stupid smirk on his face and curling his fingers inside you. “Well isn’t this a sight for sore glazzies, my, like, beauteous devotchka, you’re gonna cum right here in front of all these starry ptistas and malchicks and you’re going to sodding like it, isn’t that right?”

X - X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He didn’t recieve the nickname Alex “DeLarge” for nothing....

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I’m sure you know the answer by now. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a while to sleep afterwards. Usually you fall asleep before him, and when you wake up, he’s already left. 

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Goodbye Again To Our Awful Sons — Evaluating Mr. Osomatsu's Third Season

  No season of Mr. Osomatsu, the most recent incarnation of the franchise that was launched by famous manga artist Fujio Akatsuka in the '60s, has been alike. The first season was mostly a hilarious madcap ride, a series in love with the idea that it had taken these sextuplets and warped them into selfish, vindictive, former child star NEETs. The second season was more experimental, spending a lot of time with the side characters that populated the world of the Matsu siblings (particularly Iyami) and diving into the Matsus' seeming self-awareness that they wouldn't ever be able to top their first season antics.

  And the third season, which ends this Monday with "Final Episode" has been, for the most part, introspective and often poignant. Yes, there are episodes that run on fast-paced and escalating gags, and there are segments that revolve around the Matsu brothers acknowledging their fame (and former fame). But the primary theme of Mr. Osomatsu's Season 3 has sort of served as one long existential crisis for the boys. I wrote at the beginning of this season that the first few episodes confirmed the fact that the brothers were eternally refusing to grow up. But as the season went on, the questions asked in those first few episodes ("Why is this funny?" "Why do we keep doing things this way?" "What's the point of all of this?") lingered, even if not directly spoken.

    One of the best examples of this is in Episode 5, in which the boys trudge home from a wedding between their old school classmates. In the Mr. Osomatsu movie, we saw how the brothers acted in high school, but their long conversation on the sidewalk here slowly dives into something that almost resembles impossible longing. The boys talk about marriage and having children and adult life and what all that means for you and for your happiness. What kind of person does something like this? Would the Matsus themselves be capable of it? Would it make them happy to leave their parents' house and go start a new family and life elsewhere? In the end, there's no real resolution. 

  Other plots (though often far goofier) involve the boys trying to convince themselves that they can climb a mountain, or when Chroromatsu tries to find his calling in life aka his Sparkle Phantom Stream. What these all have in common is the admittance that there might be something else after this — some kind of renewed purpose that doesn't involve being a jaded brother sleeping in your childhood bedroom crammed near your five other jaded brothers. That there might be a life after Mr. Osomatsu.

    In both Season 1 and Season 2, the series pulls kind of a fake-out where the penultimate episode of the season is played mostly seriously. The brothers separate and leave the nest and evaluate their roles in the world. And then, of course, in the last episodes, they're playing a game of intergalactic baseball or trying to escape Hell because they realize that they don't want to die virgins. Season 3 didn't do this, though. The penultimate installment was one of the most ridiculous ever, with the brothers going to war against the New Osomatsus, sextuplets designed to be more PR-friendly than the screeching man-children that serve as the current main cast. 

  Maybe that's because that's what Season 3 has been. Not totally of course. There are also episodes where Jyushimatsu has his brain switched with a dog, the boys play a "Werewolf game," they try to steal their mom's food, and Choromatsu creates a museum dedicated to himself. Choromatsu really is the Mr. Osomatsu equivalent of Breaking Bad's Walter White, right down to the taste in shirt colors. Dude is all about saying, "I'm doing this for my family. I'm so REASONABLE." But deep down, he really relishes being a piece of garbage. (Just a thought.)  But peppered throughout Season 3 has been that episode-before-last sense of melancholy. 

    I don't know what the future of Mr. Osomatsu holds. Maybe they are capable of something else, something different. I guess it's just a case of whether or not they actually want it.

      Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.

By: Daniel Dockery

[inheritorofmemories-archive]

Twitter is not a good place and I have opinions.

Okay so, just visited Twitter to see how they like The Old Guard and please remind to never go there for anything more than artist’s posts and memes.

(This is more of a rant than a cohesive explanation of my thoughts but I won’t lose my time on Twitter for that and I still need to talk about it, so we’re here. Okay, here goes-)

Of course spoiler warning for the whole movie.

"it's bad, it's not creative, it's boring, there's no story apart from bad guys pharma and good guys mercenaries."

Did we watch the same movie?? It's like those Mad Max Fury Road reviews who kept saying "they leave and come back, no plot har har I’m very funny" when the whole point of the movie is about staying where you live and make this place better, not abandoning it because you risk abandoning your true self with the land (amongst other things the movies tries to say).

Yeah maybe the story is a bit seen, pharma and all. But the whole plot revolve around the Old Guards and their emotions. It's about a tired warrior finding hope, and a young immortal finding her place, and how to deal with loss and grief and solitude, it's about finding purpose in helping other because that's what human do, help each other. It's a lot more than fight scenes and bad pharma (which, maybe it's an old trope but it's still very true to this day, please keep portraying pharma CEO as comically bad because they are!)

It's like men can't understand a story unless there's lots of death and unnecessary trauma. Can't you enjoy a story about found family and hope and kindness for one another like everyone else?

Here are the critics I saw, and why I think it’s bullshit, point by point because I’m petty like that:

The characters are flat and two dimensional: I mean, no? Sure, Joe and Nicky are not the center of attention, and we see Booker tired and a traitor, and the human ones are bit glossed over (though we see enough to understand them, Copley and his wife, the scientist that thinks she’s helping humanity, etc.), but Andy and Nile are fully developed? What else do you need?

Andy is a very old, very tired immortal that has a very complicated past (that we see a lot of) and her motivations, state of mind and thoughts are well explained (they all say she’s old, and tired, we know about Quynh; hell, Andy’s first line is about that) and we know she lost purpose, and she finds it within the film! She changes! Her character evolves in interactions to other but mostly Nile. Speaking of her- i know I’m repeating myself but what else do you need to consider a character not flat? She loves her family but doesn’t run to them because she’s not an idiot. She’s a fighter, a marine, a very competent one at that, but she still gets scared by being an immortal, she asks questions, she’s compassionate, she feels! All while being a bad ass fighter. She has agency, makes her own choices and choose her way, she has motivation and she know what she brings to the team and is not afraid of saying her thoughts and needs.

And even Booker and Nicky and Joe have full character, even if shown less. We have Booker’s back story, and we know he cares a lot despite all his hurt (he says he did it to help Andy die, which was still wrong and selfish, but he was genuinely trying to do something because he hurt so much). Nicky and Joe have a softer side, and sure it’s mostly conveyed through their own love story but they hug the other Guards and Nicky brings food for Andy and Joe jokes around (still thinking about that “faster than the elevator” line). Yeah it’s not a deep character study but it’s more than about half action movies today, and it’s enough in the story to make me care about all of them, even Copley. Although a lot of that may come form the actors too.

The fights scenes are bad: apparently they’re boring and do not do justice to the comics. I can’t speak for the last one, but boring? Again, did we watch the same movie? Yeah, there’s no big explosions and fire everywhere and collapsing buildings, but they’re not boring. I’m sorry my tastes are superior but I’d rather be shown the talents of a covert team of immortal warriors though discretion and efficiency. Why would they need explosions when they can juggle swords, axes, rifles and guns so smoothly you don’t even see a shift in their stance? See first fight in South Sudan. Why would I need collapsing buildings when I can have a team of fighters swapping weapons together like nothing? That scene at Merricks’s building where they all reload and change guns and the camera turns around and panel over all of them? That was dope and a very creative way to show how smooth they work together (with Nile added! So way to go to show the new group dynamics.) through a smooth and continuous camera movement. I could go on, but where did you see the boring fight scene. Yes there’s no cool lights and tricks a la John Wick, but if it did they would have complained it was a rip off, so...

The cinematography is bad: Just because it’s more understated doesn’t mean it’s bad. Yes, there’s no neon lights or cool shots like other might have (looking at you John Wick, since everyone seems to compare the two movie) but it serves the story. It’s because it’s so simple visually that you can get into the feelings and story. You don’t look at the light, you look at the actions and the faces. And honestly, I think it suits the Guards better. They look timeless, they fit in everywhere. A photography that’s striped down to the necessary only serves the story. I don’t see them in safe houses with a bunch of lights and modern furniture, just like I don’t see expensive shots and over the top choreography for them. As I said, they’re a covert team, they’re smooth and efficient, I like that the photography align on that and show them in simple shots.

tl;dr: Just because it’s simple doesn't mean it’s bad, sometimes that's what you need to work with the story and its characters and themes.

Not enough story and too much nothing to fill in: I mean, they die 12 minutes in, you get all the stakes, antagonist and themes in like 20 minutes, what else do you need? There’s break in the actions to expose plot and concept, but it never feels wrong or too much of a info dump, it’s fluid and natural because we’re following Nile into the immortal world.

Bad Pharma is Bad: Yeah, let’s talk about that. (Cautions, purely opinions, no real arguments to change someone’s mind here) I don’t care if it’s cliché, not when pharma in the US keep rising the price of Insulin every month, not when pharma all over the world send their faulty medicine to third world country because there’s no one that cares enough there, not when you know they purposefully don’t finance HIV researches because triple therapy gets them a lot of money, not when you hear about the experimentation and how they get their resources and literally everything that I’m not getting into right now. Who cares if they’re show as bad people once again, they are! You think CEO care about anything but money? If it feels wrong in the movie it’s because it is wrong.

Tell me no one in our world would kidnap and torture immortals to find their power. And don’t talk to me about bad representation of CEO and exceptions, I don’t care. One exception doesn’t make all the other suddenly better or worth the wrong they’re doing. So yeah, give me more cliché good guys fight bad CEO, I love it.

They did not use their concept enough: Again, where? To me, they did all they could with that concept, you get all the things you can only get with the concept, interesting and fun one. They are still afraid of dying one day, and even if they’re not (i.e. Andy or Booker) their brand of immortality doesn’t mean they’re not afraid of being captured: the Quynh scene happens literally just before Nicky and Joe are kidnapped exposing us the stake of being immortal, talk about good script work, right? Talking about fun trope: you have the millennium old couple that use to kill each other but now love each other, the classic ennemies to lovers we all love, you have the strategy of using your immortality to your advantage and destabilize your opponent: Nile walking into Merrick’s building and getting herself killed on purpose only to stand again and use the guard’s shock and lack of preparation against them, you have the fun references to real historical figures that comes with immortality: Rodin, Napoleon, etc...

I’ll link to this video I found that talks about this better than me, but basically, they did use their concept, a lot, and well.

The music: I can’t really say anything about that one. Maybe you don’t like the style they used, and that’s fair. To each their own. But it wasn’t too much like other Netflix’s movie (Looking at you 6 Underground. Four (4) song of the same artist in one movie?) but again, it’s Netflix, they use modern songs in their soudtracks, you should expect it. I didn’t bother with the lyrics accuracy to the actions, but each time the music fit well in tune and mood of the scene. And the actual score made for the movie was really good, not too much but still supported the actions and dialogues on screen like it should.

And my favorite yet, we’ve already seen it. I don’t have any smart answer to that apart from I’m sorry you’re a cishet, but found family is the superior trope and I hope you can one day see it too. Who cares if we’ve already seen it, it’s a different flavor! It’s no X-Men flavor, it’s Old Guard flavor and I love it. Have you heard of the Hero’s Journey? How Lord of the Ring, Star Wars and Harry Potter all have the basic same plot? And yet you can like all three of them for different reasons? Because they’re not the same flavors? Well, apply that to the immortal group of fighters and enjoy it.

Okay, that’s most of my thoughts on the film for now, but to make it short: it’s good and those people can’t appreciate good things that are more feelings and humanity than fist fights and nihilism. How dare a movie say we’re good and need each other and not end in a pathetic discovery that all the word deserves to burn.

[discoveringscience-blog1]

Why You Should Learn Science?

The scientific method of reasoning has many components and is very logical and rigorous. To put it differently, the scientific method involves the study of the physical world around us, the way in which its laws are observed, and how it applies to all aspects of life. The results of the observations of these laws are then used to formulate predictions and explanation as to what happens next. These predictions or explanations are subject to the laws of physics as they are observed. They can also be subject to observation and experimentation to come up with more accurate predictions.

A lot of education, research, and government bodies are all examples of the work of science. It is important for the public to learn how science works because it will help them to understand why they can do certain things in different ways. For example, people can build a boat by following a blueprint and not by chance. People also know how a tree grows by observing it grows in nature. They may even know why a dog barks or why a frog jumps.

Every day there are new discoveries and innovations in science. All scientists contribute to science. As a result, the number of scientists in the world is steadily growing. As a result, the world gets closer to finding out the true nature of things.

Science is also a very good way to improve our lives. Scientists are constantly discovering new things about the natural world. In fact, a lot of our scientific advances and inventions have been based on the knowledge of other scientists. This is a direct result of the fact that science was used to solve the problems of others before it was used for its own purposes.

Scientific advancement has brought us many wonderful things like antibiotics, television, computers, and electricity. However, we need to be careful with this form of knowledge because some people use it for their own selfish reasons.

Science is the process of knowing and understanding what exists and what is not. It cannot provide a person with a body without a mind and it cannot explain to someone that what he/she does not want to know. It cannot give someone a mind and say to someone else what to do not do. It cannot provide answers to all questions but it can give others a sense of understanding.

The scientific method is a great way to help people understand the world. This way, everyone has a better understanding of how the world works, and they can make better decisions about things and make better choices in life. It's a better way to understand the facts so they can have an easier time of making decisions.

Most people learn about science in school and many of them are taught to write it down in a science book. Some people learn more about science through a lecture, but they tend to memorize things rather than writing them down.

Learning to understand science is something that most people have to do for a lifetime. Because of this, most people find it hard to learn how to make their own decisions and make important decisions that affect their lives. This is because they don't think that they understand the nature of science. When they are left with a certain choice they can make a wrong one because they didn't understand the whole concept of it.

People's understanding of science is very important to their future. If they choose the wrong decisions and try to be self-centered they may make the wrong decisions later on. In order to make decisions that will benefit everyone involved, they have to learn to understand science first.

In general, scientists should be respected because they are the people who make our world a better place and help us understand what is going on in the world and what is happening to other people's lives. We have to take time to learn to understand what is happening and be able to make decisions for ourselves. There are many people who have benefited from the work of scientists because they learned to make more informed choices.

[randomrichards]

OSCAR 2020 PREDICTIONS PART 3: WRITING AND DIRECTING

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:

·         Steven Zaillian for THE IRISHMAN

Based on the book “I Heard you Paint Houses” by Charles Brandt

·         Taika Waititi for JOJO RABBIT

Based on the Book “Changing Skies” by Christine Leunens

·         Todd Philips & Scott Silver for JOKER

Based on the iconic DC character created by Bob Kane & Bill Finger

·         Greta Gerwig for LITTLE WOMEN

Based on the iconic book by Louisa May Alcott

·         Anthony McCarten for THE TWO POPES

Based on his book

Who Will Win?

It’s a battle between two strongly contrasting styles of two auteurs.

First is Greta Gerwig’s version of Louisa May Alcott’s beloved classic Little Women.  With so many adaptations, Gerwig needed a refreshing take of this book. Her solution, intercut between the March Sisters as kids and them as young adults. This showcases how the events in their childhood have affected Jo March (Saoirse Ronan) and her sisters and how they’ve changed through the years. Amy March (Florence Pugh) has benefited the most from this story structure. Audiences tend to find earlier versions of Amy unbearable because her younger self can come off as a selfish, superficial brat, especially when she burns Jo’s transcripts out of spite. This film introduces her in her young adult, where she’s way more practical young artist looking to maintain stability through a good marriage. She’d like to make a profession painting, but she recognizes lack of opportunities for women at the time and wants a stable life. Seeing how she’s changed makes her more bearable when we flashback to her younger self.

But what makes this script special is the ending. It turns out Alcott wanted her book to end with Jo living a successful independent life. Her publisher forced her to have Jo married in the end to conform to convention; an act she regretted. Through Jo’s clashes with her publisher (Tracy Letts), Gerwig sticks it to those publisher while commenting on the conventions forced on women writers at the time. Plus, she gives the story the ending Alcott wanted.

This films’ opponent is the comedy about a kid whose imaginary friend is Adolf Hitler (played by Taika Waititi). Jojo Rabbit is one of the funniest movies of the year. Watiti has the relentless, creative comedy style of Mel Brooks, fitting in gags in every creative way from creating a German version of David Bowie’s Heroes to a brief gag about walking clones. Just as hilarious are the characters form Waititi’s goofus man child Hitler to Sam Rockwell’s bitter Nazi Instructor Captain Klezendorf. As with Brooks films, the jokes never get in the way of the story or character development. Like Brooks, Watiti uses comedy to take away Hitler’s power.

Through the humour, Watiti forces an emotional coming of age tale of a Nazi Youth (Roman Griffin Davis) forced to reevaluate his values when he sees the humanity of a Jewish girl (Thomasin McKenzie).  Through Jojo’s eyes, we see how hatred and fascism can be normalized in society. We also see how hard it is to let go of fundamentalist thoughts. Jojo tries to hold onto his beliefs as he’s faced with the ugliness of the Nazi party. It leads to some heartbreaking moments.

I’m personally rooting for Jojo Rabbit to win, but I’d be happy to see Little Women take the trophy too.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

·         Sam Mendes & Krysty Wilson-Cairns for 1917

·         Rian Johnson for KNIVES OUT

·         Noah Baumbach for MARRIAGE STORY

·         Quentin Tarantino for ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD

·         Bong Joon Ho & Han Jin Won for PARASITE

Who Will Win?

It’s no contest: Quentin Tarantino.

This is Tarantino at his most experimental. All his other films centered on the protagonist going after a particular goal, usually having something to do with revenge. This film consists of people in Hollywood going through their day. One sequence is just Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie) going to a movie starring her. Plus, the script is less structurally sound than his previous films. Even in his least linear scripts, each scene serves a purpose for the overall script. The segments feel more random compared to previous scripts. Many characters appear in only one scene and are never heard from again. A narrator will talk out of nowhere to clear up information and not be heard from again until the third act. This should have resulted in an unfocused movie.

While it can be indulgent at times, Tarantino finds a way to use this to his advantage. He brings more personality into segments than most writers do with an entire plot. Plus, it showcases his gift of revealing character throw deceptively random moments. The scene of Tate seeing her movie may seem pointless at first, but it serves to show who the real life actress is beyond being a Manson Murder victim. Plus, it’s a joy to watch her enjoy the fruit of her labour. Plus, Tarantino’s bit players are more fleshed out than most lead characters.

BEST DIRECTOR:

·         Sam Mendes for 1917

·         Martin Scorsese for THE IRISHMAN

·         Todd Philips for JOKER

·         Quentin Tarantino for ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD

·         Bong Joon Ho for PARASITE

Who Will Win?

It’s one on one between Sam Mendes and Quentin Tarantino.

It looks like Sam Mendes is leading the charge. He took the gimmick of the one take shot and used it to create a suspenseful journey through war zone. Despite mostly consisting of walking, Mendes maintains a sense of dread lingering in the distance, keeping the audience gripped from beginning to end. While the characters are not as fleshed out as in other nominated films, you still care about our heroes.

Though he should watch out for Tarantino, who is overdue for the Best Director Oscar. His love of movies lives in every second of this movie. It comes out of the colours of the neon lights, the music that plays in the cars and every bare foot lying on a dashboard. He brings great performances out of every performance, no matter how small. Actors like Dakota Fanning, Bruce Dern and the late Luke Perry only appear for one scene, but their scenes are more memorable than most movies.

Tarantino has become more playful with his directing. He applies more creative visual styles including Imposing Leonardo DiCaprio into a scene from The Great Escape ala Forrest Gump. He allows DiCaprio to improvise the trailer tantrum. He even includes a post credit Red Apple Cigarettes commercial.

I’m hoping Tarantino wins, but it looks Mendes will take hope the trophy.