#not being there for Ted not wanting to change and then using Henry as a shield when she's feeling uncomfortable

[mandiffe]

some mom parallels

3.11 (tension between Ted and Dottie, her not being quite present for Ted vs Georgie always being there for Jamie)

[thebunnybabyblog]

Late night visit (snape x reader 18+)

Severus planned for a boring but peaceful night alone when a sudden intrusion caused for his night to be turned upside down 🖤

Word count: 5717

Category: smut and fluff

Warnings?: drunk sex but there is assumed consent as they are very much a couple in love but plz irl make sure your partner is safe! And the tiny use of daddy, only a few lines use the word so it’s not a daddy dom type fic! Anyway enjoy!

Severus settled into his favorite reading chair with a freshly brewed cup of tea. y/n had been on him to start taking time for himself and decrease his stress levels. So, she had popped into a fancy little tea shop in London on her last outing and purchased a container of lavender Earl gray tea the shop woman recommended. It was about 11 when he had finally decided to put down his work and take her up on her advice to relax and try to settle in with a cup and a book that wasn’t potions related.

He always felt guilty if he wasn’t working when he was alone, felt as if he was wasting time if it was for his enjoyment, but her words from earlier in the day passed through his mind. “Sevvie please, it’s Saturday, don’t drown in your research until you pass out.” Normally she would be by his side on a Saturday evening but tonight she was off with her girlfriends as one seemed to be getting married and she was tasked to help throw a bachelorette party.

She wasn’t much of a “party girl” so he was shocked when she had told him about it. Not like he didn’t want her to go or anything like that, she was entitled to a life outside of his dungeon, but more because she wasn’t a big drinker. She normally chose to be curled up like a cat lounging no matter if it was home alone or over at Severus’ place.

It took Severus about an hour to finally get comfortable and push down his looming guilt of not being productive to finally get into his novel. He had decided to pick out the Henry James novel The Turn of the Screw, a classic horror novel filled with psychological horror and madness. Really, a perfect book for him other than the textbooks that he liked to read as if he was a kid with comics.

As it was a shorter novel and him being such a fast reader it took him only about an hour and a half to finish. He looked over to the clock on the wall and it was almost 12:30. He wondered how y/n was getting on, “I hope she’s safe” had crossed his mind many times that night. Like before he was fine with her being out, she was an adult and he wasn’t her father but it didn’t stop him from being concerned. He wasn’t worried about her doing something wrong, he was worried about the people who lurked in the shadows. He bounced his leg nervously, just sat in his chair not knowing what to do now. He thought he might as well get ready for bed as he wasn’t going to get any real comfort until he saw her in the evening tomorrow.

He pushed himself up and out of his chair and made his way to the bathroom for his nightly rituals. He had changed out his clothes for his pajamas and was half way through brushing his teeth when he heard a crash from downstairs. He jumped by the sudden commotion and quickly spit and dropped his toothbrush in favor of his wand that was sitting on the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. Barreling down the staircase ready to blast whoever dared break into his home, he stopped dead in his warpath to be met with a very intoxicated y/a who had somehow managed to stumble in and fall directly into the table he had by the front door, knocking over books and a large vase in the process.

“Y/n! Good heavens are you ok?!” He exclaimed as he rushed down the last few steps. “What are you doing here? How did you even get here?” Many questions were being rushed to her drunken mind that she didn’t even know how to respond. He quickly crouched down to her side and noticed she had fat tears welling up in her eyes. “I…. I’m s-sorry *hick* I just wan*hick*ted to seeee you” she cried, slurring her words. He couldn’t help but soften as he heard her little pathetic cries below his looming figure.

He had actually never even seen her drink before so never knew what type of “drunk” she was. She was just so helpless before him. “I’m sorry I broke *hick* your table sevvie” she cried to him, now with her face hard into his chest. He liked to pretend that he hated it when she called him “sevvie” but he really loved it and hearing it coming from her drunk mouth made his heart beat fast. “Shhh my dear it is only a table, it can be easily picked up and fixed. No real harm done.” He consoled her with a gentle hand petting her head.

While he held her he looked up to the door and noticed the many locks were all still secured and he furrowed his brow in confusion. “Y/n… how did you even get in here?” He asked. “Please don’t be mad Sevvie…*hick* I just wanted to see you real bad” she pleaded into his chest. Right then he knew exactly what she had done. “Oh Merlin y/n, you didn’t apparate here did you? In such a drunken state, you could have sliced yourself in half!” He scolded, not meaning to come off as angry but he had a bad habit of not conveying his tone correctly. She didn’t even reply with words but with more, now louder, sobs into his shirt.

He knew that scolding her in this state was not the right thing to do and quickly tried to remedy the situation with more petting and soothing words “shhh it’s ok I’m sorry, Sevvie didn’t mean to yell, it’s ok shhhh.” They stayed there a few moments just rocked back and forth as her cries calmed and now were down to a few sniffles. As much as situations that were caused by big emotions made him feel completely uncomfortable, he couldn't help but to feel good in this moment. In her drunken state all she could think about was coming to him. He would do anything for her and if that meant sitting on the floor by the front door with books and pieces of vase scattered across the floor then that’s what he would do.

“Here, let's get you upstairs and cleaned up. We can worry about this mess in the morning.” He said in a smooth tone trying to not get her crying again. He stood up and held onto her arms to get her to her feet, she stumbled lightly and fell into his chest. He loved the close contact that continued to be bestowed on him. “I’m sorryyyyy!” She cried as she looked up to him with her tear stained cheeks clearly on the verge of crying again. He had his answer from before on what type of drunk she’d be and she clearly was an emotional one. He wondered if this was the reason she preferred not to drink around him at all.

“Darling it’s quite alright let me just help you up the stairs.” He said as he scooped her up in his arms bridal style. She went up in a fit of giggles tightly gripping her arms around his neck. It was good to hear her laugh instead of her continuing sobs. “See that’s much better I only want to hear your laughter the rest of the night, no more crying.” He said in a fake strict tone but sly smile. She looked up to him with bright cheeks. She nuzzled her head into his neck and they made their way up to the bathroom to get her cleaned up.

He didn’t know if her smeared makeup was completely due to her fits of crying or also because of whatever wild antics her and her girlfriends got up to earlier in the evening. He knew now was not the best time to be asking too many questions but he couldn’t help himself not to pry a tiny bit. He sat her down on the closed toilet and moved over to the sink and got a warm washcloth prepared. Moving to sit on the edge of the tub adjacent to her he began to gently wipe her face.

“So my love, did you have fun this evening?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood. “Oh yeah! We went to this bar that we ummm went to in college” she trailed off “mmmmmm this feels goooood” he couldn’t help but to chuckle as she pushed her face more into his touch. “You touch me soooo good Sevvie” she hummed. Severus’ eyes widened a bit and he cleared his throat. It’s not like she had never said that to him but still compliments and especially double meaning compliments made his heart race.

“Here, you sit right here and I'll bring you your pajamas. How does that sound?” He asked as he brushed some hair behind her ear. “Mmm yeah please sevviest snapeeee, hehehe sevviest like severus but sevvie hehe get it… ” She laughed as if it was the funniest joke on the planet. He just looked at her desperately trying to stifle the laughter that was bubbling inside him. “Yes, quite funny indeed my love.” he replied back to her. “oh!! The pink pair pleaseeeeeee!!” “Your wish is my command.”

He never thought in a million years would he see a drunk y/n disheveled and giggling, sitting in his bathroom at 1 am. He thought he’d have a pretty boring night filled with quiet solitude and unamusement but now he was striffiling through her drawer she claimed in his dresser for a particular pair of pajamas with a little white bunny plastered on the front. He had actually gotten these for her as a little gift when she was given the drawer and a key to his home. He was very nervous giving her that much access to his life but he grew to really miss her when she was gone and didn’t value the alone time as he once did.

He made it back to the bathroom with her retrieved items to be met with, nothing. She had made a break for it. “Y/n? Darling where have you run off to?” He turned around and continued down the hall to check his study for his vanishing act. It was easy enough to find her as all he had to do was follow the trail of clothes that led him to his office door. “Umm y/n are you in here?” He said as he slowly opened the door.

He was met with the sight of y/n standing in just a bra and panties warming herself by the still lit fireplace. “Oh Merlin…” he thought to himself as he saw her glowing in front of him. “Sevvie! There you are! I wondered where you ran off to!! You were gone for ages!!” She exclaimed while wrapping her arms enthusiastically around his neck. “You left me all aloneeeee after it took me so long to finally find you I’m hurt!” Y/n said in a huff

“What do you mean it took so long to find me?” He asked puzzled. “Welllll i accidentally ended it a few spots before i landed on your table” she looked up shyly “I’m gonna have to apologize to one very angry neighbor lady tomorrow.” At this point he couldn’t hide his laugh and sent out brighter laughter around the room. “Sevvieeeee don’t laugh at meeeeeee.” She squealed and she swung about.

He couldn’t help but to grab on to her waist for support and remembered just how almost nude she was. “My love, why did you undress?” He asked. “Ohhhhhh I donno. Maybe I didn’t wanna wait for you to do it for me.” She suddenly let go of his neck and pushed him back into his reading chair. He stumbled back in surprise as she had never been forceful with him before. Before he could make sense of the situation she had straddled his lap.

“What the? Y/n what has gotten into you?” He laughs out. She started peppering his face with little kisses, giggling with every single one. She was gripping the sides of his face and as she pulled away from the kisses she looked down to him with heart eyes. “My sevvie is sooooo beautiful. My beautiful handsome pretty boyfriend!” She squished his cheeks while she spewed out compliments. He couldn’t help but blush at her drunken proclamations and he loved hearing her call him her boyfriend.

“Sev I just love you so so so much why and how did I get so lucky! I just wanna kiss you forever and ever!” She exclaimed before she started another assault to his face. Severus couldn’t lie he was having a very hard time controlling himself at this very moment. He had his beautiful girlfriend straddling him in front of a roaring fire half naked shouting to the heavens on how lucky she was to be so in love with him.

His mind was filling up with many thoughts that were the opposite of putting her back into clothes but he still had a sting of guilt that was swaying him to stop. “My love as much as I am very madly deeply in love with what is happening right now, I think we should stop.” He said with a tone that implied he really hated having to say it. She looked down at him with her big sad eyes “but sevvieeee I’ve been dying all night to come back to you!” She protested, leaning down to rest her face by his neck. “I need you sooo so bad!” She whined into his ear, her breath tickling his skin. He felt a shiver wash over him and his skin covered in goosebumps to the sensation and her seductive tone.

He was struggling hard to fight off his urges to just push her right to the floor and devour her whole. “Listen my love you are drunk it would be improper to continue this as much as I absolutely would love too.” He said while again pushing her hair behind her ear. She couldn’t help but nuzzle into his soft touch. “But sevvie I thought about you all night even when I wasn’t even drunk yet.” She cooed. “Is that so?” He asked in a hum. “Yes I couldn’t stop thinking about you all night. With Shara getting married I couldn’t help but think about how I want to be locked away with you for the rest of my life. Just right here, placed in your big soft lap.” Her hips wiggled playfully against him and her breath danced along his neck.

He couldn’t help but close his eyes and lean his head back to the double stimulation. “My love you are treading dangerously close to me, not being able to control myself.” He warned her. “Maybe I want you to lose control on me?” She licked up his neck in a seductively slow pace finally resting on his earlobe with a nibble. She knew exactly what buttons to push to send him over the edge. Sober or drunk she would let this man do anything he wanted to her, just to be underneath him was a reward from the gods to her.

His hands met her waist and pulled her hips to press her hard against him. “Don’t ask for something you might regret darling.” She looked down to him and with fluttering eyes cooed “but sir you have never been a regret only a reward to me.” And brushed her lips against his. He was pushed to his limits, something in him snapped and his eyes went dark.

He flew to his feet with her still straddled around him. She squeaked in surprise. Before she knew it her back was against the wall and her lips were being assaulted with deep passionate kisses. Moaning against his lips, a fire was building up inside her, so was desperate and needy for his touch. He moved to her neck and left rows of kisses, nibbles and sucks on her sensitive skin. “Oh gods Sev it feels so good. I need you so bad it hurts Sev so so bad mmmm yes!” She was practically vibrating underneath him.

Moving away with her from the wall he made his way through the door. “Sevvieeeee where are we going?” She called out in his clutches. “I’m going to ravage you properly right on our bed.” She couldn’t help but feel her heart pound to the words “our bed”. She couldn’t wait so she continued the fiery kisses to his lips and neck as the stumbled down the long hallway.

They bursted into the bedroom and before she knew it she was thrown atop of the plush bedding. She looked up to her powerful man and felt a twinge between her legs. He was so dominant looking above her. His hair disheveled and lips plumb from their feverish kissing. “Please just do dirty things to me, I can't stand it” she said to his looming figure. Without words he hooked his slender fingers underneath her panties and pulled them down hard, leaving her pussy exposed to him. She couldn’t help but moan to the sudden exposure and roughness.

“Mmm I love it when you get rough with me.” She moaned “oh really? Is that how you like it my dear?” He kneeled down on the bed with her naked core under him and leaned down close to her ear. “You like it when daddy gets rough with you?” She could tell right then she was done for because Severus wasn’t one to call himself by other names especially something like daddy. All she could do was moan from him sultry words but this wasn’t good enough for him. If she wanted to play this game she was going to play by his rules.

“If you want daddy to play with you my love, then you need to speak when I ask you a question.” He snapped as he grabbed her chin to look at him. Her eyes were wide and the heat was past building, it was boiling out of her. “Mmm yes sir I’m sorry sir.” She said to him as pure and innocent as she could. “Such a good girl for me,” his hand began to travel down her side and he made circles around her thighs. So close to where she was practically begging for him to touch. “Now like I said before, do you like it when daddys rough with you baby?” “Oh gods yes!”

With that he shoved his rough fingers into her core and went to work on what she was so desperate for. The room quickly filled with her moans and the sound of her wet pussy sucking his fingers in. He sucked along her neck and moaned into her skin, the sounds she was already making were driving him wild. She was coming undone underneath him already. Without stopping the rampage on her core he moved his way down her body until he was in sight of the sweet prize between her legs.

He could now see just how wet and dripping she was, it was already leaving a mess on his bedding. He couldn’t stop himself from taking a taste of the sweet honey she was producing just for him. “Mmmm o….oh gods yes! Please yes! I’ve wanted you to eat my pussy all night! Please mmmmm” Her hands found their way to his head and pulled him even closer while bucking her hips into his mouth.

Her neediness was fueling his lust as if it was a fire to dynamite. He moaned hard around her clit lapping in all of her juices as his fingers continued their assault. His cock was pressed hard against the bed and he found himself bucking against the sheets just to find a morsel of relief. Her taste was driving him crazy, the way her moans were filling the room were sending him into overdrive. He just wanted to do anything for her at this moment to make her feel even an ounce of what she makes him feel.

He could tell she was close, her breathing was erratic, her hands couldn’t find a place to sit, her pussy was throbbing around him. She was in pure ecstasy and it was all because of him. “Sev oh gods Sev- I….I don’t know how much longer, oh fuck, I can hold!” Her hands shot back to his hair pulling him hard against her. He was so close now he couldn’t breathe but he didn’t care, he could die right then and there and he would die the happiest man in this galaxy.

He sucked her clit hard into his mouth and he hooked his fingers in just the right way that pressed the soft spot deep inside her. She was a wild animal underneath him; he had to hook his free arm around her thigh to keep her right where he needed her. “C….cum!! I’m gonna-” her sentence was cut short with a loud and desperate scream to the heavens.

He released her limp body from his grasp and removed his fingers but left a few more licks and kisses to her drenched core trying to take in as much of her as possible. “How was that my love? Did sevvie make you feel good?” He asked with a wet smile. She could only hum in response as her breath was ragged and she had turned to goo in his bedding.

He thought of getting rough with her for forgetting to speak when spoken to but he quickly decided to let it slid as she just looked so fucking cute. A complete and total mess sprawled out just for him. “My love, I'll be right back, let me get a washcloth for you.” He wasn’t even worried for his own release; he was happy to just give his angel what she was so desperate for.

He turned to retrieve a washcloth from the bathroom but was stopped when he felt a hand take a fist full of the back of his shirt. He was pulled down to the bed on his back, “oh no you don’t! You think I just wanted to cum? You are wrong, mister! I want your cum!” She shouted down to him as she began to straddle his still raging erection. The fabric of his pants were rough against her sensitive core as she ground her hips hard over him. Her hands placed against his chest to find support in her wild grinding.

Severus sucked the room's hot air in between his teeth and he clenched his eyes tightly as the sudden sensation of her above him was sending pin pricks all over his body. “You want my cum my love? Is that what you have truly been on the pursuit of?” He said almost breathlessly. “Well free me and take it all.” Practically begging as he needed this just as much as her.

She didn’t hesitate in her drunken haze to finally free the prize she had been pining after the entirety of the night. Earlier in the evening the idea of being married to Severus made her hair stand on end. Being together forever unrestricted from one another never having to leave to go sleep in her own bed somewhere else. She just wanted, no she needed, him for the rest of her days.

She looked down at his swollen, slick member with heart filled eyes as if she was looking at God themself. “Sevvieeeeee do you understand how deeply and madly obsessed I am with you?” She cooed, grabbing ahold of him by the base slowly churning upwards. A mix of her words and movements sent stars floating around his head. His hands found their way to the soft flesh of her thighs that kept his body tightly in place.

No matter how many times he would go to bed with her, the sight of her naked frame in soft candle light made him feel as if he was hallucinating. Always afraid one day he would awaken cold and alone in his bed, with no traces of her ever even existing. He couldn’t believe someone could actually be truly in love with him and crave his touch, soul and body; but here she was, placed upon him in complete and utter desire and love.

She had completely lubricated him with the copious amount of precum he had produced while pumping himself against the mattress. She looked down at his blushed face and like a feral animal pounced herself down on him without words. She was already so wet and ready for him she slipped down with no hesitation. “Gods… FUCK!” He yelled out to the heavens.

His eyes shut tightly and his head pressed hard into the sheets, he could feel her already pulsing around him. The feeling of her melting into him as they became one. Fully inside her, she ground her pelvis into him. She could feel his dark hair brush against her core, adding a tickling sensation to the already overwhelming pressure.

“God Sev you fill me up so full, I think about your cock all day when you’re not around.” She breathed out while looking down into his eyes. He didn’t even know how to respond, she was always so shy, normally, when they had sex he had to tease the words out of her. But here she was towering over him, freely offering up words full of lust straight from the deep parts of her brain, looking him right into his soul.

He felt like a shy teen boy having sex for the first time. He hadn’t felt like this in ages as he was always the dominant one and usually would only prefer that; but, right here right now, he would let this wild woman rip his heart out of his chest and serve it to him on a platter. His body was starting to just do things without his brain even telling it to.

Hands roamed her sweat kissed skin and found comfort along her waist as his hips started to buck into her. Her head shot back looking high up to the ceiling, her breasts bouncing hard now above him. Her wild moans echoed off the walls and through Severus, it’s as if he could feel them rumble around in his chest. Watching her filled with so much ecstasy, like she had become a little sex nymph.

“Se-sevvvvv p-pleaseeee!” She whimpered and whined. His eye began to twitch and something in him snapped. Gripping her waist, he spun her around to where her back crashed into the soft mattress below, taking his place on top. “Please what, my love? It seems I’m in need of some instruction tonight.” He said looking down at her with dark hooded eyes. “I ummm I-“ was all she could respond to the sudden shift of power between them.

Even in her alcohol fueled state she knew that she was done for now. All the teasing and power play would have eventually come back to bite her in the ass and she wasn’t complaining. It was her goal all along, to rile him up in ways she was too afraid of without the liquid courage flowing through her veins. “What? You were so vocal before, now you can’t even muster up a single sentence?” He said dangerously close to her ear. His hot breath sent shivers down her spine as it came in contact with the thin veil of sweat that formed on top of her skin.

“Please Severus! Please, I can't take it. I just want you to pound me until I'm a mess under you! Just fuck me already please!” She was met with no response other than him quickly lining himself back up to her and plunging himself deep into her core. She let out a scream that if someone would have passed by their window would probably thought something else was going on in there. He didn’t even let her adjust to him, he just gave her exactly what she was begging for.

Blow after blow was delivered at breakneck speeds to her cervix. Never relenting to give her a second to replenish the air that was being knocked out of her lungs. She was a pile of mush below him and yet she needed more of him. She needed to do all the things she was so afraid to ask for when they were normally intimate.

Without words, as she had no ability to use her voice anyway, reached up to his left wrist he had planted in the bed by her head. She slithered her fingers around him and brought his index and middle finger to her lips and slipped them into her mouth. He let out a low and desperate moan as she sucked and swirled her tongue around his digits.

Never breaking eye contact she slipped his fingers out of her mouth and placed his hand around her throat. His eyes widened at this, they had been rougher before but she had never initiated it, especially so boldly. Her face flushed red, eyes filled with desire and mouth opened, he was in heaven. To be looking down at this angelic being below him and she wanted him to devour her whole.

His grip tightened around her delicate throat as his erratic thrusts pounded into her, at this point he couldn’t stop his hips if he wanted to. “Fuck my love, why didn’t you tell me you wanted me this way?” His fingertips dug into the sides of her neck and tears began to form in her eyes. He could tell she was close even with no sounds now escaping her mouth as she started twitching around his cock.

“You like it when I’m rough with you huh? You like being a whore under me? Who knew you were such a slutty little minx, I guess I’m going to have to use you like this more often, how does that sound?” All she was able to muster was a sharp inhale and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She couldn’t hold it any more, the way his hips were snapping against her had been stimulating her clit and the lack of oxygen was making her body foggy. Just being able to listen to the deep moans and grunts from the delectable man above her was enough to send her over the edge.

“Are you going to cum for me? Come around my cock for me, let me see how good this cock you’ve been dreaming about makes you feel.” He grunted as he rhythmically snapped his hips. His words were the straw that broke the camel’s back, her hips bucked and she practically elevated off the bed. Her sudden movement shifted his grasp and allowed her to fill the room with screams of passion as she came undone around him. He had never seen something so erotic under him and without warning shot load after load deep into her as he clenched and gritted his teeth like a beast above her.

After they had finished erupting, the room was only filled with huffed breaths. Severus had collapsed on to her and she could feel the ragged breaths in the nape of her neck. Even in her exhausted state she still managed to run her fingers through his sweaty matted black hair and revel in the fact that he was all hers. This tough and stern man who he showed to the world was not even close to being his true form. He was warm and filled with love and passion and she was ever so grateful that he chose her to be wrapped up in a sweaty mess with.

Her eyes filled with hot tears unexpectedly and she couldn’t stop them from flowing down her cheeks and into his hair. He didn’t notice at first but soon felt a cool sensation form in his hair. He looked up in shock as he saw her there quietly crying. Afraid that what he had just done was the cause he spoke in a frantic tone, “My love, whatever is the matter? I’m so sorry if I was too rough with you! Please tell me what I can do!” His large palm found her cheek and held her gently.

“Sevvie- I…I just love you so much! Being with you is everything I’ve ever wanted… I just wish I never had to leave.” She cried to him. His expression softened and his eyes filled with stars as he looked down at her sweet face. He let out a soft chuckle and said “My sweet is that all? I was worried I had overstepped. Do you really feel that way? Do you not want to have to leave?”

She looked up at him with tear filled eyes. “Well all you had to do was ask y/n, I haven’t wanted you to leave my side ever since you took over a spot in my dresser.” He smiled down at her, his fingers brushing away the tears that threatened to fall. “How about I run us a hot bath and we go get you cleaned up? How does that sound?” She nodded and he gently scooped her from the sheets and cradled her in his arms bridal style.

Out of the bedroom and off to the bathroom he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell at the thought of her wanting to intertwine her life with his. He had never planned on finding someone let alone living with them. His brain tried to fill him with doubt that this was just the liquor speaking for her but he knew her words were her own. He could tell just by the way she had wrapped herself around his body and hummed into his neck. This was true, this was real, this was love and with her here it turned this house into a home.

[starghost-fics]

hey! happy holiday weekend if you have one. here's a completed fic:

Chapter 7: Ted calls once Trent's back in London.

commentary (includes a few small notes, and then something approaching a mini-essay about voice)

Did I ever mention that the title of this fic (and the secret filename of chapter 6, no breaks in the line) are from Josh Ritter's song 'Real Long Distance'? Now I have. I love Josh Ritter. I like to think that Ted would too.

I was going to make it explicit that the landline phone Ted finds at his mom's is magical, and you can't lie when you're using it. in the end i didn't think that was necessary to establish; being on the phone, staring at your ceiling, sometimes you say things you wouldn't say if you could see the person.

but we can also pretend the phone is magical.

I thought about stretching this out over the six years until Henry went to college (did i math his age? no), or at least a couple until he went to a pre-college program like the one I remember heartily declining, and have notes toward a version like that, but I do not have that sort of energy.

okay! so!

on dialog and not-dialog

I have a lot of thoughts about voice, in every sense of it in writing. From authorial voice to narrative voice in a particular project to individual character voices. These are all different, and I'm sure if I spent five more minutes considering it, I'd come up with one or two more aspects of voice. But I have always prided myself on character voice, in particular in fanfic. If I don't feel I have some meager grasp of a character's voice, I shy away from writing them.

Voice is a lot more than twisting an accent into the written word; in fact, I think the least powerful thing you can do is dramatically alter the written word to portray what you hear in an accent. I do this a bit with Ted but far less than Jason Sudeikis does when speaking Ted's lines, and I'll often go back through and undo a couple dropped word endings and the like.

So voice, right. Voice is the words a character chooses to use and the way they use them. The misuse of words, and the unusual phrasings. It's when they stop and start a sentence, and the way they interrupt. It's in what metaphors and similes they use, and what they say about others. It's about not only what they don't say, but how they don't say it. Do they evade, change the subject, half-answer? It's about what they choose to ask, and what they provoke with a statement instead. And it's about pet names and cursing.

So what happened in chapter 6? Well, mostly I got to a point when I realized dialog wouldn't quite tell the whole story I wanted to tell without some awful manipulation of their voices and what they would say on the phone. I refuse to manipulate a naturalistic character like that; I am genuinely trying to capture something, not force it into another mold.

And there is a power to breaking form if you do it with confidence and intention. It was never going to be a break to a wholly traditional scene; it had to be the rule reversed, right? It had to be how they communicate with each other on a level other than dialog. As though without the phones, they don't have or need voices.

It turns out that action is voice too, in a way. Voice being a specific expression of character, in the conscious use of language. But action is the conscious use of the body to communicate, and if and when they would approach someone else, what they choose to look at, and how they look. How they touch.

What I think I've been trying to get at with this accidental essay is the fact that chapter 6, in New York, made the final chapter come together easier, and why.

After the no-dialog chapter, neither of them needed to be convinced to give this a try, textually. On a higher fictional level, the proof is already there: you have them coming together in both of these ways, in sync with their words and (eyebrow waggle) their bodies. The argument for why this might work for them is in the structure of the story itself, rather than in their conversation.

I didn't think too hard about whether I was re-hashing things I did in Lafayette, because heck, what is fanfic good for if not revisiting similar game pieces on a different board, and this board was an interesting structural change.

On that note, I think I have one more Ted/Trent fic swimming around in me, and boy howdy, is it a different game board.

[mindibindi]

The Failure of Ted Lasso's Unconventional Politics

SOCIAL CONDITIONING:

According to Brendan Hunt, shippers interested in a second chance, mature-age romance between Ted and Rebecca were being blindly, un-self-reflexively led about by their “social conditioning”. Presumably, however, the writers who wrote Ted returning to his heteronormative family unit – as well as all the viewers who enjoyed this ending and have defended it since – are completely free of social conditioning? No social conditioning is involved in reifying the white heterosexual family unit? No social conditioning is involved in deifying parenthood, fatherhood and patriarchy at the cost of all else? There is no social conditioning involved in a conclusion that values good ole working class Americana while rejecting the big, queer, complicated, multicultural world?

KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid):

If the creators wanted to gesture to “Cheers” as a classic American sitcom, then at least learn from its example. This show worked best when it worked with familiar, beloved characters in a familiar, beloved, but confined setting. "Ted Lasso" had a near-perfect first act, doing a simple thing well. But from s2 onward, the show started straying out of bounds. The cast of characters kept expanding and contracting: people were in, people were out, characters were coming and going and changing (what was the point of that whole Zava plotline?). We had multiple workplaces and workplace dramas (grew to like Barbara tho). Episodes got long and unwieldy. Themes got convoluted as the show took a long trip, imo, up its own arse. The folksy wisdom of s1 became grating self-indulgence and cliched “moment” manufacturing.  

SUPERFICIAL UNCONVENTIONALITY:

TL employed a familiar 3-part structure but ultimately its supposedly radical, unconventional politics was not reflected in the show’s structure. Since the first act started with Ted's arrival, you could see his departure coming from a mile off. Some folks are acting like returning Ted home constitutes some super brave move by the writers that we've never seen before. But if you want to talk social conditioning expressed through narrative expectation then you really couldn't get anything more conventional than this ending.

We've seen it all before:

Act I: Fish-out-of-Water character arrives and begins winning over a dubious, dysfunctional community Act II: Bonding, hijinks, missteps, complications and development Act III: Revelations of growth. Community sadly waves goodbye to teacher they love but no longer need. Cue credits with moving song choice.

It's as cliche, conventional and predictable as it gets. And I could condescendingly accuse every viewer who enjoyed this ending as being blindly and un-self-reflexively led around by their social conditioning. But even if I'm not one of the showrunners who also played a beloved character and who is speaking on a public forum, that would be a pretty fucking shitty move. What I am saying is that the disagreement over this ending speaks to some core ideological differences currently playing out across the globe around patriarchy, feminism, queerness and privilege. There is an opportunity here to examine what we socioculturally view as “good’ and “right” and “happy”. These ideas of good, right and happy are not necessarily benign and will be inevitably reflected in and reproduced by our art.

PATRIARCHY:

In the end, “Ted Lasso” literally chose patriarchy (but what kind is the question). Just because this show was working with a familiar 3-part structure, that doesn't mean it didn't need to justify Ted's inevitable departure. For many people, his son is enough. That's it. End of conversation. Henry trumps all. And yes, this was always going to be the justification used by the series. But I think this disagreement highlights changing attitudes to modern parenting. Everyone agrees that parenting requires sacrifice: large and small, everyday and lifelong. But how much sacrifice is too much?

For some people, this was too much sacrifice. Others seem to think it was Ted's duty to sacrifice for his son his own sense of family and community, his continued health and growth, his professional fulfilment. Imo, he could have shared all of this with him but chose old-school parental sacrifice instead. I consider this kind of sacrifice to be something that culturally we’re coming to recognise as unhealthy, for both parent and child. In reality, parents are more than one thing. Parents have jobs, interests, relationships, needs, limitations and struggles. Parents are people.

In the series, Ted was established as a person: a person with a sad past, a tortured inner world, a strong desire to connect with others and, potentially, a brighter future than his past. From the beginning, his relationship with Michelle was established (and often reinforced) as over, dead, absolutely no route back in. But his relationship with his son was loving and important to him. Of course it was. He’d be a bad man and unlikeable character if it wasn’t. Even so, Henry isn’t a major or fully realised character in this show. We care about him, relate to him through Ted. He matters to us because he matters to Ted. But frankly, we are far more attached to Ted’s other adopted “children”, the relationships we have watched him develop over 3 years, than the relationship we only saw glimpses of. That’s just narrative reality. In reality, yes, Henry would and should be Ted’s first priority. This is only right. In fiction, the team at Richmond should have been the first priority of Jason and the rest of the writing team. They are the ones we want to see and want to see happy and settled.

As many frustrated viewers have stated, it's not Ted's departure that is so disheartening but how it was done. If the TL team wanted to make this choice seem like a healthy one for Ted then they needed to establish other things waiting for him in Kansas: friends, community, employment, fulfillment. As it was, literally nothing tipped the scales in favour of Kansas. There were no romantic, community or larger familial relationships to get back to. Far too much was just left to inference or imagination. Yes, we can assume that Ted has community in Kansas, that he will probably get a great job after his success in Richmond. But all the people and opportunities we would like to infer/imagine will never tip the balance towards Kansas when we consider all we KNOW is already established for him in Richmond. The homeworld and beloved characters of a show will always hold more emotional weight than anything undefined and hypothetical. If viewers were to be happy with Ted’s exit then the writers needed to take the time to lovingly define his future away from the club.

Instead, it seems like a deliberate choice to shut Ted down and perform (and I do mean “perform”) this marvelous sacrifice for his son that so many think is admirable. It’s this shutdown that is so inconsistent and confusing. Because at any time in the hour, Ted could have said to Rebecca, the Diamond Dogs and/or his team:

“Look y'all this ain't the end. We’re family now. I'll be back. I'll show y'all round Kansas anytime you wanna visit. My mom will cook a dinner that will clog your arteries. And every so often, what say we do a long-distance movie night, huh? I'll miss you all but I’ll be watching every game and I can't wait to come back and see you win the whole fucking thing!!”

Ted could have been a model of honest, expressive, emotionally forthcoming, relationship-maintaining masculinity. But nope. Not a word. Just brave male sacrifice. It's straight up patriarchal propaganda. And truth is, fathers sacrifice way less than mothers do in heterosexual parenting relationships. Mothers are generally the ones making those small, everyday sacrifices that our society rarely acknowledges or admires. But I bet this ending makes all those lazy husbands and boyfriends feel real good about themselves. I bet it makes many female partners feel all warm and fuzzy to know that even though their kids’ father won't share half the labour that goes into raising a child, when it comes time for him to perform a massive manly sacrifice for his family, he toootttaaally will. I'm sorry, what were you saying about social conditioning Mr. Hunt?

FATHER GOD or WHITE SAVIOUR?:

Patriarchy needs its Father Gods and its Mother Gods to play certain roles (tho, to paraphrase Angela Carter, both are as silly as each other.) These magical figures materialise at pivotal times then dematerialise when the narrative is over, the pivotal lessons learned. They never themselves learn or alter. Think Mary Poppins or Nanny McPhee. These figures are not entirely human, they possess an element of the supernatural. They serve others, serve a higher purpose. Nanny McPhee's appearance changes only as a reflection of her charges’ growth. Mary Poppins – the figure to whom Ted is most likened – learns to care about her kids but she doesn't engage in any self-introspection. Her duty and trajectory remains unchanged. When she arrives at her next job, she will do so exactly the same as she was.

These otherworldly mother deities are not unproblematic feminist figures themselves. But creating a male, fatherhood deity becomes even more problematic when he is white, cis-het and pretty able. Ted arrives to teach all the black and brown lost boys, to unite the disconnected women, liberate the closeted gays and to update the bumbling English gentlemen (there is, I feel, a special relish in these American bros educating their former colonisers on modern manhood). Here, we start to stray into white saviour territory. Frighteningly, this kind of patriarchal demi-god implies that white men are the most progressive figures in a society, they are in the political vanguard, championing the needs of the disconnected and downtrodden. White men are the ultimate source of wisdom, kindness and progress. It represents them as a group as progressive, when in reality the attitudes and politics of this group represent conservative politics and regressive values that impede the progress of every other marginalised group. If we buy this myth about white men, then we are more likely to accept what they say to us from their positions of power and privilege as right, wise, kind and progressive, even when it is the opposite.

So, if you are going to put forward a white man as a model of progressive politics, then you need to embrace unconventionality, not just superficially but down to your bones. “Ted Lasso” tried to structure s2 and s3 differently but just ended up making a mess of allusions and ideologies that did not connect, cohere, develop or conclude. In fact, sometimes they straight-up contradicted.  Employing a magical 3-part structure and making a bunch of meaningless allusions to well-known classics does not another classic make. They did not engage with any of these classics (“Cheers”, “Mary Poppins”, “The Wizard of Oz”) in any deep or critical way. Classics may be loved but they are not faultless. If you simply repeat what has already been done, even in celebrated classics, you may just end up repeating mistakes someone already made for you to learn from. TL repeats the central feminist problem of parental deities in “Mary Poppins”, just as it repeats the irreconcilable ending of “The Wizard of Oz”.

LIMINALITY:

Both “The Wizard of Oz” and “Mary Poppins” take us into strange liminal worlds. “Ted Lasso” could be read similarly, except that Ted doesn't take any magic home with him. In fact, he seems to actively forget it, reverting to the Ted he was before leaving. No queerness or feminism follows him home, no traces of the various cultures he's come into contact with. The liminal remain liminal with no indication that these two worlds will communicate or can integrate. The non-white, female, queer and otherwise bizarre are left outside of Ted’s squeaky clean hometown heteronormativity. And I really don’t think I have to explain why that is so deeply irresponsible. Because again, this is a writing choice.

That epilogue at the end was brief but imagine if it included more detail: Ted texting with Rebecca, or facetiming with Roy, Jamie giving Henry advice. They didn't take the time to honour and continue these relationships or integrate these two worlds. They didn't suggest that responsible fatherhood could entail many things, could look different. “Sacrifice,” they said profoundly. “Fatherhood,” they murmured mistily. “Patriarchy” was their final word to which this feminist says, “Bullshit.”

PRIVILEGE:  

I only did one film unit at uni but it really doesn't take much to deconstruct the absurdly inconsistent ending of “The Wizard of Oz”. It was 1939, the end of the Great Depression and the start of another devastating world war. People needed to be convinced that their small ramshackle b/w lives surrounded by loved ones were stable, noble even. They already had everything they needed. They didn't need Oz. They didn't need bright futures, big adventures or exciting opportunities. Monochrome Kansas was all a good American should ever hope for. There was danger in difference, safety at home.

Well, here we are in late-stage capitalistic hell, having come through (???) a pandemic and it takes a special sort of privilege to say to an audience: you don't need money or opportunity or community, they won't make your life any better than before. Be happy with the muddy and mundane. Be happy with what you've got. Turn away from larger community, greater knowledge, continued stability, and isolate yourself in a bubble of you and yours. Look, it's not a sweet or familiar narrative conclusion but the truth is, Ted’s, Henry’s and Michelle’s lives would have all been better if they'd relocated to London. Do these dolts have any idea what teachers (in the USA esp) are currently going through? How overworked and underpaid and undervalued these people are? The burnout rates?? Ted didn't have to take the highest salary Rebecca offered but, had the writers been willing to put in the effort, a more unconventional, more modern ending to this series could have been crafted.

Not that I'm surprised they took the easy road to glory. All indications from the beginning of s3 suggested that this would be the rather predictable conclusion. Indications do not, however, constitute development. This team had the opportunity to write a new ending to an old story, one that incorporated queer, feminist and anti-capitalist values. One that defined a different, new version of patriarchy. They didn't even think to. In their white boi hubris, they just assumed that they and tradition knew best. Considering how many viewers would be struggling right now for food, housing, employment and opportunity, an ending in which Ted turns down an opportunity like this hits a false, rather virtue-signally note. Literally, nobody would have come out worse. Everybody would have benefitted from Ted staying in Richmond. Which means this decision was made purely to manufacture a “moment” that celebrates patriarchy.

ANTICAPITALISM: There’s a reason they had Rebecca offer Ted the biggest salary in his industry. They wanted to make it NotAboutTheMoney! Ted doesn’t say so (doesn’t say anything) but, because this narrative idea is so fucking familiar, we can assume the thoughts behind his oh-so-sage expression are: “Well, shucks now, boss, I rightly do appreciate the kindly offer but that there kid o’ mine is more important to me than any cash you could put in my silly lil handy-hands.” Good Lord. The cringe is real. I really, really can’t with this mighty, manly silence and sacrifice. My problem isn’t that Ted values his son over money (not that it has to be a choice because that money could benefit Henry and his mother, who is owed a heck of a lot of child support esp since she’s been raising their son solo for 3 years). Again, that is how it should be. My problem is that the show actively established Richmond as an anticapitalist landscape, then suddenly at the eleventh hour, tried to walk that back and imply it was actually a capitalistic landscape (in contrast to homey ole Kansas).  

Capitalism teaches us to sniff at money. We've been told by the monied and privileged that it won't buy happiness. (This is of course, utter bullshit because money can buy you a hell of a lot of wellbeing, security and opportunity). At the beginning of the series, Rebecca Welton stands for this principle. And by the end, she has found a way to use her extreme wealth and privilege in an ethical way. She gives it away. She supports others. She lets Sam out of a promotional contract, she funds Keeley’s business, she sells half the club to fans. The most obvious example of Rebecca’s anticapitalist politics is her confrontation with all the richy riches who want to take soccer away from the people. Here, she becomes an anticapitalist leader, one who has been positively influenced by the anticapitalistic politics of The Lasso Way.

The Lasso Way is anticapitalistic in that it stresses that winning isn’t everything. You try but you try together. You play hard, not in order to beat the other guy, but to be the best (player, teammate, man) you can be. There are no individual stars, only collaborative team players. You give due credit to others, the team, the support staff. The club functions well when it functions as a unit. Over the course of the series, it becomes a commune that protects and nurtures its citizens. A socialist haven that values people over profits, prizes and meaningless acquisition. The Greyhounds don’t want to win the league for the money or the top spot. Winning the whole fucking thing is an expression of their regard for each other, the game and the new, kinder ethos they all now live by.

Because they spent 3 years establishing all of this (during a time when we really needed to hear it), there is something v disingenuous about them then having Rebecca offer to go to extremes to pay Ted more money than any man should have. It is not consistent with the show’s themes, the ethos of the club, Rebecca’s attitude or what she knows of Ted. She knows it’s not about the money for Ted. It never was. It’s an act of desperation on her part, but why did they need to make her ridiculous, desperate, so inept in this moment? Hannah plays it beautifully but I can’t help but feel this is part of them diminishing Richmond, (re)casting it as excessively capitalistic in relation to Kansas so that they can turn Ted’s decision into a simple Money < Son choice. Because if it is a Money < Son choice then he has no dilemma. There is no other choice. He goes home to his son. The problem is, they’ve just spent 3 years proving that it is not a simple Money < Son dilemma. Money was never actually part of this equation. Ted left to give Michelle space, to find himself, to find a new life and community, to extend himself beyond what he knew as normal. As such, there is now far more than just money for Ted in Richmond (which tbf, Rebecca also points out, but I still think this point stands).  

The other major problem is that, here in the real world, middle-class America (which btw does not exist) is far from being a haven of peace and prosperity comparable to nowhere in the world. This is a lazy cliché than any amount of travel should quickly disabuse you of. And yet in Kansas, we are supposed to believe, despite everything happening in America (referenced by Henry in ep 3.01), Ted will find community, opportunity and stability. To pull off this ending, they needed to establish a Kansas unlike the one currently in existence. This is what they did with Richmond. The UK is no better than the US currently, but they nevertheless established an ideal society, one with values very contrary to the world we now live in. Is it any wonder that people saw the desertion of this world as a rejection of feminist, queer and anticapitalist values? Right now, more than ever, people want to believe in a society that isn't all about triumph, success, competition, acquisition, individualism and aggression. They want to believe in a society that emphasises community, values people, shares wealth, offers opportunity, encourages difference, improves lives and moves onward, forward, in circumspect but ethical steps. These themes were all there in the series. They just weren't utilised when it came time to shape its conclusion.

[demivampirew]

Henry Cavill doesn’t owe us anything, except to turn out entertaining stories because that’s his job as an actor. If an actor gives more, that’s just gravy, but they don’t “owe” us more than delivering entertainment.

His personal life and who he chooses to date, is his business, not ours. A strangers opinion on his dating life does not mean anything to him. He is a stranger, whose life you don’t know.

I don't think he "owes us" anything but, at the same time, he shouldn't expect fans to go and support his movies, shows, or brand deals if he doesn't give us 5 minutes of his time.

As you said, my dislike for the person he dates is AN OPINION, that I'm allowed to have, whether you like it or not.

You know one thing that pisses me off? It's that there are only complaints to the people "who care about his personal life" when the opinion about his partner is negative. Where is the same criticism to the stans who post about them constantly, who made Instagram accounts dedicated to a woman whose existence they didn't know until she became Henry's public girlfriend, the stans who constantly spread rumors about weddings and pregnancy? Isn't that caring about his personal life? How could be okay that people like rioutorthodoxy (or however her stupid name is) or Andrea are allowed to talk sh*t, spread rumors, and even suggest things like them having sex but when other fans say we don't like Natalie because she's proven time after time that she wants a piece of Henry's fame?

Some people change but, judging for what I've seen, Natalie never stopped being the brat bully who wants to be famous, like she showed in My Sweet 16.

Again, all of this is my opinion and, like it or not, I'm allowed to have it. If you don't like it, you can always block me and not be bothered by my opinions which I'll share if I want to.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[the-resurrection-3d]

THEY SAID I DID SOMETHING BAD: a musical about the life and times of the unabomer, by taylor swift.

(Spotify Link) (Inspiration, provided by @significationary)

[Disclaimer: I'm not an expert on this guy, although I have notated which changes I made and cited my sources down at the bottom. I also tried to include at least one song from every Taylor Swift album. Feel free to suggest other songs I could have used!]

ACT I: OUR COMING OF AGE HAS COME AND GONE

I Did Something Bad  — Having attempted suicide while in police custody, Ted Kaczynski prepares for trial, refusing to let his lawyers use the insanity defense. In the end, after a failed attempt at representing himself, Ted pleads guilty to 13  federal charges in exchange for life in prison.

They say I did something bad,  Then why’s it feel so good? Most fun I ever had! And I’d do it over and over and over again If I could…

seven / this is me trying (mashup) - As a small child, Ted is hospitalized and isolated following an allergic reaction; reports allege this had a strong effect on his personality. Nevertheless, Ted's younger brother, David, describes him as kind and protective. Ted skips two grades in his early schooling, but is othered for being smaller than the other children and too “different” due to his intelligence. At 16, Ted goes to Harvard on a scholarship to study math.

Please picture me In the trees I hit my peak at seven feet In the swing Over the creek I was too scared to jump in… And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying… 

Tell Me Why - While at Harvard, Ted is subjected to repeated verbal abuse by his professor, Henry A. Murray, who was part of a CIA program code-named Project MK-Ultra. The program sought to understand how to implement mind-control techniques, including using drugs such as LSD, although there is no evidence that Ted was ever drugged while at Harvard. 

Here's to you and your temper Yes, I remember what you said last night And I know that you see what you're doing to me Tell me why

Guilty as Sin? - In 1966, Ted experiences an intense sexual desire to become a woman, even deciding to undergo gender transition. 

I keep these longings locked, In lowercase inside a vault…

 I Hate It Here - Upon arriving at his therapy appointment to begin transitioning, however, Ted changes his mind, and never mentions to the psychiatrist why he originally wanted to meet. Afterward, he considers killing the psychiatrist and several other people.

I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind People need a key to get to The only one is mine I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears I'm there most of the year Cause I hate it here...

this is me trying (reprise) - After graduating, Ted gets a teaching job at Berkeley, but has a hard time delivering lectures and avoids his students. He suddenly resigns from his position in 1969. 

They told me all of my cages were mental, So I got wasted like all my potential…

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart  - Ted moves back to Chicago to work at the same factory as his brother and begins a relationship with a woman at work. Due to Ted’s sexual harassment of her following a sour breakup, David, his supervisor, has to fire him.* Ted moves to Montana into a cabin him and his brother had built.

I can read your mind… “She’s having the time of his life…” There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night I can show you lies...

ACT II: AND IN THE DEATH OF HER REPUTATION, SHE FELT TRULY ALIVE 

the lakes / I Hate It Here (Reprise) / Clean - In his cabin, Ted lives in near-total isolation, hunting and growing his own food, and spending much of his time reading. It is here Ted develops his anti-government, anti-technology philosophy. 

I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones These hunters with cell phones… Ten months older, I won't give in Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it So take me to the lakes, I hate it here…

I Know Places - Ted, trying to convince his brother to join him, reminiscences on them building this cabin together.]

Baby, I know places we won't be found, and They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide…

closure - As Ted becomes increasingly unhinged, the letters between him and his brother grow increasingly fraught, and the waits between them increasingly long. David invites Ted back to civilization but Ted refuses, thinking David is simply ashamed of having a “failed” brother. 

Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled I'm fine with my spite And my tears And my beers and my candles…

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - Between 1978 and 1996, Ted sends 16 bombs to various universities, airlines,  computer stores, and industry figures. He kills three people and injures many more. 

I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean "Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth" Who's afraid of little old me? Well, you should be

ACT III:  FROM HOUSE TO CARDIAC ARREST 

Cold as You / Dear John (mashup)-  David reads the Unabomber’s manifesto in the newspaper and recognizes the writing style and ideas as those of his brother. After reflecting on his strained relationship with Ted, David turns him in to the FBI and uses the reward money to set up the Unabom Survivors Fund.

And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors Who don't understand And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said "Run as fast as you can" And now that I'm sittin' here thinkin' it through I've never been anywhere cold as you 

Who’s Afraid (Reprise) / Look What You Made Me Do - On April 3, 1996, federal investigators arrested Kaczynski at his cabin in Montana. 

Oo, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me...

Cassandra - In his cell, Ted reflects on the growing popularity of the ideas expressed in his manifesto.**

So, they filled my cell with snakes, I regret to say Do you believe me now?

exile / The Last Time - David and Ted have their last conversation. During the trial, Ted never makes eye contact nor speaks to his family. In prison, he never answers their letters.

This is the last time I'm asking you this Put my name at the top of your list This is the last time I'm asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) So many signs, so many signs…

hoax - Alone in his cell, Ted reflects on his brother’s betrayal. 

You knew the password, so I let you in the door You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark

Dear Reader / ME! - In June of 2023, Ted is found unresponsive and is pronounced dead later that day. The death is officially ruled a suicide. Inside his cell, guards find a letter — a suicide note? A letter to a fan? No one can say for certain.

You should find another guiding light Guiding light But I shine so bright  I promise that you’ll never find another like me!

---------

* In reality, Ted moves to his cabin in Montana in the early 1970s, and doesn’t return to Chicago until 1978. I switched these events around for the sake of imaginary time constraints and to produce a more streamlined narrative. 

** If you’ve ever heard the meme “The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race,” this is where it comes from.

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

[carrie-organa]

Here’s How I Would’ve Ended Ted Lasso

My version includes:

actually acknowledging Keeley’s importance and making Roy not a creep.

actually calling Ted out for his weird ass behavior. This guy is depressed and no one ever asks him about his horrible self esteem issues.

Here, take it before I go insane.

Ted’s Storyline

The team would talk about Ted’s decision and there would be a debate about it. Sam and Jamie agree that he should go home to his son (for different but obvious reasons). Colin and Isaac believe strongly in found family and don’t understand why Ted choosing his son has to mean him abandoning them. Jamie’s perspective is changed. They have a good point.

Rebecca’s storyline in general was odd this episode. Her constantly reaching out to Ted and him shutting her down is so stupid and at odds with their relationship.

I would’ve had Ted explain his decision when she’s giving him her “You go, I’ll go” speech. Talk about his dad and bring up the 9/13 connection. WHY WAS THIS NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED.

Ted saying that not only does Henry miss him, no one here needs him anymore. He’s given them every tool he can think of and there’s nothing left for him to do. There’s nothing else he can give them.

side note: I think this is really at the root of Ted’s issues and I’m flabbergasted that no one calls him on it. He only feels like he should stay in situations where he’s needed. He never stays somewhere because he wants to be there. He’s the traveling salesman of optimism.

Rebecca: You’re right Ted, maybe we don’t need you to remind us to have hope or to believe in ourselves. To reach for happiness. But just because we no longer need you does not mean you are not wanted. Are you happy here? Ted: It’s not that simple. Henry— Rebecca: Yes, I know about Henry, and I completely understand your concerns. I’m asking you if you’re happy here. You, Ted Lasso, the man, not the coach or the father. Are. You. Happy. Ted (bursting with it): Yes. Of course I am. I never thought I’d have an experience like this in my life. It doesn’t seem real. It feels like I fell asleep and I’m going to wake up in exactly the same place I started when I woke up. But I can’t leave Henry. I can’t abandon my son because I like my job. That’s not fair to him.

Ted’s weird detachment would’ve been addressed during the game. The team’s first half wasn’t effected by them crying over Beard’s video but rather by Ted’s refusal to coach them anymore.

Ted: I’m not gonna give y’all a pep talk. Jamie: why the FUCK not? why are you checking out? (puppy dog eyes) what did we do wrong? Ted: deer in the headlights. Turns to Beard and Roy for help. They don’t offer any. They’re wondering the same thing.

No one is disputing that there’s an issue with Ted’s situation. It hurts to be away from his son, it hurts Henry to be away from his dad. HOWEVER — the only solution isn’t to go home and leave everyone behind.

Ted makes some kind of analogy to ties in football games. Sometimes there are no-win scenarios and you just have to accept it. Roy: that’s bullshit.

The episode is about Ted losing sight of his own philosophy and the people who love him reminding him of it. Restoring his sense of belief and optimism. Telling him not to accept a no-win scenario.

The RoyKeeleyJamie of it all

Roy’s obsession with getting Keeley back when she keeps pushing him away is cringey. Someone needs to ask him why he’s being so insistent. I choose Rebecca.

Rebecca: if you don’t explain yourself right now I’m sending you to HR. I’ve never seen you act like this.

After Jamie/Keeley hug

Roy: what were you talking to Keeley about? Jamie: none of your business, mate. Roy (still an insecure bean): Are you guys…getting back together? Jamie (furrowed brows): No? I just asked if she would go on a business trip to New Zealand with me. Make sure I don’t get thrown out of the entire country hitting on the Prime Minister. Roy (unable to help himself): She’s not PM anymore. Jamie: Hm. Shame. Well, she’s still fit. Jamie makes it clear he’s not interested in starting anything with Keeley, after Mom City he knows he really needs to work on himself before he can date anybody. The perspective is very much side-eying Roy, who has decided to ignore all of his issues.

WHY HAS NO ONE ASKED KEELEY WHAT SHE WANTS.

Roy and Jamie still go to a bar. Still end up at Keeley’s door. But this time not because they were fighting over her (because cringe. even though both of them have feelings for her, they respect her autonomy). No, this time, Roy got fucking pissed and he’s being a sad sack and refuses to go home so Jamie followed him to Keeley’s to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.

Jamie: Roy, mate, let’s go home. We’ll get a kebab on the way. Roy: No, I just…I just need to know what I’m doing wrong. Please. Keeley: Roy… Roy: If you just tell me then I can fix it! Keeley: It isn’t you! (off Roy) It’s not. I promise. I just…I keep ending up in these intense, whirlwind relationships, and I can’t jump into another one again. Not yet. Not until I know it’s going to end up differently. Because I swear to god, Roy, if I lose you again (tearing up) I will not survive it. I barely survived it the first time. Roy: me too… Jamie (cannot handle uncomfortable situations): Yeah me neither, if I’m honest. (off looks from them both) WHAT? You were both so sad and quiet. Well, this one’s always quiet (gesture to Roy) but it was different. It was weird. I saw him crying in his car once. Roy: I was not crying in the car… Jamie: Yes you were! I saw you wipe a tear! Keeley: BOYS! (they’re exhausting. it’s late. she wants to stop being ambushed into these emotional conversations). something about how her type is clearly smoking hot, intense brunettes (check the math — Jamie, Roy, Jack). Preferably by a cheeky Jamie as he leads a quiet Roy to an uber.

The season has not set up Roy and Keeley to get back together. It just hasn’t. But I think it has set up Keeley to acknowledge how much Roy means to her and to explain why she’s skittish about getting back together with him right now. I think she wants to give him a chance, it’s just going to take some time.

I’d like to see a scene with just the two of them where Keeley asks him not to give up, please. Because that’s Roy’s issue, he quits while he’s ahead and he gives up because it’s easier than getting really hurt. He’s putting himself out there, and I love that because growth, but I think there needs to be an acknowledgment that he’s gone about it wrong.

Roy: I know that I’ve been a right fucking twat with all this badgering and I apologize. I know it’s all too little, too late and you’ve moved on. I do want to be friends, if you’ll let me. I just can’t handle another year where you’re not a part of my life. It’s unbearable. Keeley: It really was. Roy: If you want to get coffee sometime, or something (call back to when he asked her out in S1), just let me know. It won’t be a date. Just as friends. Keeley (nodding, equal parts relieved and disappointed): Okay. Roy walks away, they’re in the car park. Keeley calls his name and runs up to him. Kisses his cheek. Obviously there’s still something there, but they’re just gonna have a different start this time. A slow build, rather than an intense start.

Miscellaneous Complaints:

I would’ve added at least another 20 minutes to the finale. How the team reacts to Ted leaving. And I think he should leave, I think he should go back to Kansas and there should be a little time jump. Michelle tells him she knows he’s unfulfilled, Henry saying he misses visiting him in Richmond. This decision is good for literally no one when you actually see it through. It’s a nice gesture but ultimately it’s meaningless.

The way Nate is just there is so unsatisfying to me. He’s such an important character in the show and the finale paid him dust.

What happened with Bex and the other girl when they spoke to Rebecca? There was no resolution there.

BEARD AND JANE ARE NOT COUPLE GOALS. Why does the narrative simultaneously acknowledge that she straight up sucks but never give Beard the push to leave her???? I just straight up do not get it.

In conclusion, I see the vision but the execution was horrible and I don't understand how this is supposed to stick the landing. I genuinely believe they'll announce a Richmond spinoff, especially given Ted's note on Trent's manuscript. Although I do not think that the team's future is anything like the one Ted dreamt about on the plane. Those were the wishes he had for them. I look forward to reading the fics where he's dead wrong and Rebecca drags him back by his moustache hair

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i have this silly little undeveloped au in my brain that's just like. tedependent but it's the sarah jane adventures. sort of. not literally in the doctor who universe necessarily but like. local intrepid reporter trent crimm investigating weird shit except the local neighborhood kids will not leave him alone.

i have so many thoughts about this but none of them are coherent enough for a proper fic i think:

i just think trent being good with kids, generally. go mentor figure trent! (what this has nothing to do with my thesis what do you mean)

trent, like sarah jane pre-series, having a sort of reputation in the neighborhood (or in general, since i'm also incorporating his actual canon vibes/story) as to being standoffish, aloof, cold, etc., and generally anti-social, keeping to himself. and as the kids keep dragging him into things kicking and screaming he might also be dragged kicking and screaming into a community <3

if his daughter is essentially luke does that mean he adopted her under Strange Alien-Related Circumstances? absolutely it does, yes.

see i've got two great ideas for ted/tedependent. on one hand, although in the context of SJA/nuwho i'm not so much one for sarah jane and the doctor as a Thing, ted playing the role of like. someone from trent's Mysterious Past who he won't talk about who set him on this path? someone who was kind and wonderful and changed his life but then--at least it feels like to him--abandoned him? someone who made him a better person--from doing whatever journalism he used to do to this--someone who he's still kinda in love with... but trent can no longer even really talk to......until he shows up again? that's some good shit, not gonna lie. although i'm jimmying that into a happy ending somehow, goddamn it.

ALTERNATIVELY. henry being one of the Neighborhood Kids (as if we're using "canon" kids, we've got limited options) and ted being an oblivious parent. trent is trying to get these kids to STOP POKING INTO DANGEROUS ALIEN NONSENSE PLEASE THIS IS HIS JOB PLEASE STOP BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE but they're stubborn and smart and they may or may not have saved his life once or twice and oh GOD THIS IS SO IRRESPONSIBLE but he can't just TELL THESE RANDOM NEIGHBORS about ALIENS. but like anyway this just painful secret identity-esque nonsense where ted knows henry's taken a shine to that nice journalist down the street and his daughter but does NOT know that henry is getting into Shenanigans(TM). this could lead into all sorts of drama about, you know, his kid being in danger... or, alternatively, ted has worked with some unit/torchwood-esque place before and is like OHH you know what? this explains that time i thought i heard you speaking an alien language. cool, cool. and trents like. .....WHAT

etc. i'm not wording this well but i think you get the idea.

if you really really wanted to make it complicated you could do both, considering the doctor's whole thing--either a fob watch or a regeneration--but honestly, i don't want to do that, so i won't

some of the adults do definitely get involved though. keeley either clocks that shit right away or thinks she's clocked it but she's actually clocked something entirely different. she's like i know you're mi6 babe ;) and he. is not. meanwhile roy having ten freakouts in a row and then being like nvm i'm fine with this. (is not fine with this, but will be eventually). jamies like yeah aliens. everyone knows about those. and they're like what?? no they dont?? and so on.

is beard an alien? genuinely no one's sure. he's not telling.

HOLD ON can i give trent k-9???? can trent crimm get a robot dog?????? yes please i think he deserves a robot dog

also see the trickster episodes? bet you could do something real fucked up with those.

i feel like i had more when i started this post but i don't remember

this not well thought out at all and i have no idea where everyone would fit in

anyway my point is. trent crimm, intrepid journalist, running around trying to stop alien shenanigans while Those Meddling Kids keep following him around. trent crimm doin a little Breaking And Entering. scooby doo shit. and he has such an interesting mix of seeming suave and badass and then immediately doing something embarrassing. trent crimm--via shenanigans and also Those Meddling Kids dragging him into their lives (aka he tries to keep his distance SO badly and only is involved when dangerous shit is going down but like then it's all. child knocking on his door like IT'S AN EMERGENCY OPEN UP and hes like WHAT WHAT IS IT and theyre like can you help me with my homework :( and hes like. fuck. yeah fine what do you want help with. (some subjects he's very helpful on others he's VERY not) until they're like okay but you're coming to this bbq right. and he's like? no? and they're like you're coming to this bbq right. and so on) ANYWAY the point is they keep dragging him into their lives and now oops! trent actually knows his neighbors and has to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known. but that also means that when he gets badly hurt or sick he's used to the empty hospital room but now he actually gets people showing up and forcing baked goods on him and shit and i'm just feeling a lot of things about this extremely hypothetical au based on my already existing feelings about trent gaining a community in s3/post-canon,

wait does this mean trent gets sonic lipstick? HELL YEAH IT DOES

[brookezilla]

I can agree that Henry would benefit from Ted going back to Kansas but I can’t agree that Ted would be 100% fine if he did.

Ships aside, Ted has literally changed careers from US to British football. Professionally he’d be in a weird space unless you imply he would take a position as a Major League Soccer coach.

He was a lower division American Football coach so he’d be regressing if he went back there to his old team.

Secondly, I would argue that having an ocean between him and Michelle is a good thing. As we saw in 3x10, Ted isn’t entirely fine with her and Dr Jacob’s relationship, which Id agree may stem from fears he’s being replaced back in Kansas. I don’t read this as jealousy over his and Michelle’s marriage as I think that was settled and he’s moved on, willing to ask Sassy out on a proper date etc.

Ted has also built a strong support network in Richmond with his friends; Rebecca, Keeley, Roy Trent and especially Beard.

While his bestie would probably leave with him, the others wouldn’t. In terms of family, there’s obvious trauma between him and his mum, and without Michelle or his Dad, Ted really only has Henry in Kansas to bring him back.

Maybe I’m a fool but I interpreted Henry’s troubles this season as a foundation for them to have him come live with Ted for a fresh start. The bullying and failing classes provides a need for Ted to step up (I agree) but I don’t think it will be from Kansas.

Ted has experienced first hand what an unhappy father, and subsequent trauma, can have on a child. The last thing he’d want would be to impose a degree of that on Henry by being miserable in Kansas instead of happy in London.

Message me if you wanna negate this, obvi more than happy to.

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm a little afraid to go near the ted lasso Discourse™️ but i've been thinking about this for weeks, and i really don't think ted's choice in the finale is entirely about henry.

like it's mostly about henry! (and wanting to be a good and present father, not perpetuate generational dad-related abandonment issues, etc.) but i haven't seen as much discussion about how ted also misses KANSAS.

he wants to go home! it's understandable. ted has been a fish out of water for three years. he wants to go back to sunflowers and barbecue sauce and people who tell the same kind of jokes. kansas has been an essential part of his identity throughout the show, and he has been separated from it. he wants to be a dad most of all, yes, but maybe he also wants to be Just Some Guy for a while.

like he could be a father in richmond. rebecca set the table for ted to move henry and michelle to england, where he could be a dad all year and support his family, and ted didn’t even consider it (or bring it up with michelle, when that offer could radically change all their lives and set up their son's financial future).

and while he has lots and lots of people who genuinely love him in richmond, EVERY one of them expects something from him. he’s their boss or their employee or the coach of their favorite team. he is never not ted-lasso-of-afc-richmond, from the moment he steps outside his flat in the morning. and i think my guy just wants to go home for a while and rest and be ted-lasso-of-henry-lasso’s-dad for a while.

maybe not forever!! he will definitely coach again and may decide to go back to england to do it someday. he was reading “how to change your mind” on the plane after all. the show did those of us who love ted as a character a disservice by making kansas kind of a theoretical place and not hinting at the broader community that ted must have there (like he must, being who he is, but none of it shows up in the text). but ted has been visibly exhausted this season and has always had a great love & longing for his home state. it was most clearly underlined in the amsterdam ep, but that has been there from the beginning, so i don't think it could have ended any other way.

[politelymenacing]

If they're not doing a reboot where they're married, and Henry gets to live happily in England with his two dads and go to a better school than he could go to Kansas???? then why are they showing us this?

APPLE TV EXPLAIN!!

Is that not what happened....?

Must've just been in my head, damn. 😛

OK. Here is my pitch to Apple to make it happen (because is just makes sense):

Why do the bit about Henry acting out and bullying a kid?

Why have Henry failing science (scandal!)?

To me, that should have nudged them in the direction of 'maybe he would be better at a new school in England?' rather than 'he'll be fine just as soon as Ted returns to Kansas'.

Then we have the whole Dr. Jacob of it all... they were clearly hinting at his and Michelle's relationship breaking down (thank god. I can't even go into how much that angered me). To me, that was freeing her of her ties to Kansas so she could move with Henry to England. But instead they just kind of maybe left it a bit ambiguous. Are we supposed to believe that Ted and Michelle would ever get back together? Because no.

Also, it was clear that Henry didn't really like him and would benefit from being closer to his Uncle Beard (ugh that bit outside of the pub with them two absolutely got me 😭)

There's also Dottie. Now, I will admit that that episode fucked me up a little (yay, mums...), so I have only rewatched it once, but if I were Ted her attempt at manipulation would have just made me want to get Henry away from her, so even more reason to bring him to England.

Now Ted:

He's doing better. Ok, not amazing, but he is getting regualr thearapy and he can control his panic attacks

He knows the offside rule. He (re)invents Total Football. He is finally understanding the sport he came over to coach.

He is starting to use British terminology for things! He's acclimatised! Honestly, if he'd been there any longer, he'd have been drinking tea.

They specifically show him interacting with his neighbours and the community.

And then you tear him away from all of that. It is beyond cruel.

Also, even though Sassy was not right for him at all, he was maybe starting to show that he could move on from Michelle and let someone else into his life. (I do not have enough time to lay out the Bi Ted agenda, I'm sure people have done excellent metas about it, but let's just say the Bi Triangles will haunt me forever.)

Which leads us to Trent.

I am definitely missing things because I'm just rattling this off the top of my head, but:

Are we just going to forget that Trent got fired for Ted? And then following his bliss lead him straight to Richmond to write a love letter book about Ted.

What was the whole thing about the right idea just sitting behind a couple of the wrong ones?? In the red string of fate episode, no less!

Whatever was going in during Girl Talk with Rebecca.

Why did Ted tell Henry that it was "good to have people in your life that are excited to be around you" literally the episode after Trent was SO EXCITED about Total Football and how Ted got them there. Like. Seriously.

TRENT’S LITTLE FINGER STICKING OUT IN THE RED STRING OF FATE BIT THAT WAS POINTING DIRECTLY TO THE RED STRIPES ON TED'S JACKET ahem.

Trenthouse magazine. TRENTHOUSE MAGAZINE.

The Robert Redford/Dustin Hoffman thing. Followed by a sodding wink.

And then there's the fact they are both middle aged single dads who have so much baggage. They get one another.

Finally. Because this is turning into a bloody essay. The ending. Ted was FOR SURE asleep and dreaming at the end. I don't give a fuck what Brendan said.

You can't get that close to Stonehenge, it all looked too fake, there's no way Ted wouldn't be there, Jane needs to get in the bin.

How did Sam manage to get into the Nigerian team? (Don't get me wrong, I desperately wanted that for him, but it seemed like it was never going to happen??)

Ted thinks Trent will agree to change the book's title, and even dreams up someone he knows (Shannon) to get a copy singed.

OH AND THE GLASSES. Trent has new glasses. Why? Because Ted doesn't want to imagine him with the ones from before because the first thing he said to Trent was a compliment about the glasses.

Basically, what I'm saying. Is that that is what makes most sense from the ending. HOWEVER, Apple TV, if you are convinced it was all real, here are some ways you can keep that ending (more or less) and still have the Romcommunism ending we deserved that will lead to you picking up this reboot idea:

Ted goes back, gets a final copy of The Richmond Way, the dedication says something about how Trent changed the title because he asked, but it was always about Ted, of course it was. Ted realises his huge mistake. (Maybe he goes to rush to the airport, only to find Trent standing outside his door.)

Trent didn't say goodbye to Ted because he was already on a flight to Kansas to wait for him with a sign that says 'Coach Lasso from England". (OK, this doesn't quite fit with the ending, but you know it's a cute AF idea so shhh)

Trent is singing copies of his book and asks who it's for without looking up and just here's Ted say his name.

In all these scenarios someone says "Is this a fucking joke?" END.

And now you are ready to start your spin off/reboot/series 4 with the footage of Jason and Jimmy at the Emmys. You're welcome.

You can have all of these ideas for free (plus whatever other headcanons you get out of me), Apple TV, if you let me play one of the minimal acting required background players in the AFC Richmond Women's team (Because that is a part of the finale i can get behind and I have credentials if you need to verify I can actually play)

[lunar-years]

Some people have been taking the "red rope" moment as foreshadowing for Roy Kent beating up Jamie's Father later this season. But now I have a suspicion that TED is going to go ape and throw punches at James Tartt Sr. in the next encounter, probably in tomorrow's episode (and Issac attacking the fan makes that an even likelier possibility for me).

So many people have been seeing the build up and are speculating to a full mental breakdown for Ted, and this would be such an unnerving but brilliant way to execute it: all of his own issues and ordeals left unresolved coming up to catch him, festering inside until the sight of the player he most gravitates towards as his own son is subjected to even more tormenting from his father, especially after Ted has already twice walked away without intervening.

It's not the Ted we're used to or the Ted we would like to see, but he's been struggling more this season than ever before, and everybody has a breaking point, no matter the quality of their support system. Even if he succeeds in scaring Tartt Sr. away, it would generate a complete media blowout with condemnation and support alike. Imagine how Rupert could use that information/display to get others to laugh at Richmond...

Well, as much as I do not want to be like "Well, I disagree with all of your points"...I sort of do disagree with all of your points, anon.

I think if James Tartt Sr. does make an appearance this episode, it will be a more isolated incident and not something that happens in front of the whole team. We had that last season, for one. For two, surely, even if Richmond can't ban him from other stadiums, they've absolutely taken precautions to ensure he doesn't get near the dressing room or Jamie during or after a match again. He might be at the Man City game, but I don't realistically envision a confrontation there.

I do think it is very very likely James Sr. is brought up and discussed and involved somehow in the episode's events. Like maybe he starts berating Jamie via texts and calls again, Jamie is off-kilter because he knows his dad will be at the game, or he's afraid he'll run into him in Manchester, etc; BUT...

I imagine if there is a face-to-face confrontation, it's going to be largely Jamie facing it down again, I would hope backed by some of his support system, yes. In this case I think the most likely candidates are Keeley & Roy (& possibly his mother??) because we know already they are a part of his storyline this episode.

I don't think Ted has been spiraling towards full mental breakdown? Since Amsterdam, and then especially since We'll Never Have Paris, we've seen Ted makes leaps and bounds of progress. he's been shown keeping up with therapy, he's working through his Michelle & Henry stuff and making significant changes to his mindset, and he's finally finding joy in coaching again.

To me the state of Ted's mental health was by and large the worst in s2, and the consequences of that breakdown extended into the first part of this season, but he's now well on his way back up. It would not make much sense to have him at his absolute lowest in the penultimate episode of the entire show.

I strongly disagree that Ted gravitates towards Jamie like his own son. I've already discussed that at length in response to a different ask this season, so I'm not going to go into it again here. but yeah, I just don't see it.

I think it's important to remember that by the second to last episode of the show, arcs are winding down, not starting up. I don't foresee a big media blowout with Rupert using it to tear down the club, because we're past the point of return for any of that. I just generally don't see major threads being introduced in the second to last episode when we already have soooo much to wrap up. That's why I think Jamie's storyline is going to be more of a continuation/follow-up to last season's Man City episode rather the introduction of new problems for him. This is the ending, not the beginning.

Not to down on your speculations, anon. Who knows what's going to happen! But my personal belief is that Ted & Jamie's plots aren't really going to intertwine all that much this episode. My like, big hope for them is ONE scene towards the end of the episode where maybe Ted knows Jamie's been struggling lately and he pulls him into his office to check up on him, and they get an opportunity to discuss things like Ted walking away from Jamie & his dad those times. I want resolution for them, I do, I just don't think their relationship is as big of a plot point as others think it is.

[fanficfanattic]

🌹🌹🌹

Three beautiful red roses for meeeee?

🌹

Roy/Jamie, S1, Roy goes to Keeley for advice on handling Tartt but he doesn’t ignore her advice like Ted did:

Back in the locker room after practice, Jamie hasn’t even changed out of his kit or thought about showering. Just goes straight to Roy and asked if he’d been good enough.

“No.” Jamie’s face starts to fall but Roy keeps talking. “You’re going to have to work for it, Tartt. You aren’t afraid of hard work, so I’m not worried that you’ll get there.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah Captain.” And since Jamie didn’t whine or bitch or moan, Roy decides to give him a treat. That will also test how honest Keeley was truly being with him.

“You can have my fingers in your mouth for two minutes. Consider it incentive for tomorrow.” Roy didn’t move his hands, though, and Jamie was as good at reading his intentions in that moment as he was at reading opponents on the pitch. He gracefully sunk to his knees, angled himself lower, and took Roy’s first and middle finger into his mouth from below them.

The instant look of serenity on his face confirmed Keeley had maybe even undersold how effective this would be. Tartt’s gentle humming buzzed against the skin of his finger. Making him think this was going to be a much better experience than he thought it might be even just the night before.

He hadn’t used his watch, so he wasn’t sure how long had passed. But right when he was ready to pull away because surely two minutes had passed, Tartt pulled himself away. But he was cheeky enough to then rest his forehead on Roy’s hip while he took deep, steadying breaths.

Then, like a bubble popping, Roy tuned in and realized that the room was filled with feverish whispering gossip.

“Oi! What did I say earlier? You make shit harder, you answer to me.” And the room went back to as close to normal as they could make it.

🌹

Gen fic, S1, family curse story. Georgie and Simon come down as fast as they can to help with caretaking (so Georgie can snuggle her little boy as much as possible while he’s little again):

“Oh, that boy! The only one here born yesterday is you, isn’t that right poppet,” she singsongs at the baby Jamie in her arms.

Then the smile slid off her face as she looked between Ted and Beard. She was visibly deliberating before deciding who to start with.

“Coach Lasso. Jamie told me you have a son of your own, dontcha?” Her tone was carefully neutral which was an alarm bell given how much warmth and playfulness she’d spoken with to her family. Still, he stood up straight and smiled friendly at her.

“I do, yes, Henry. He’s 8 years old and Jamie was very kind to him during his visit.” His tone didn’t change at any point during his response, just as bright at the beginning as the end. Despite the fact he felt the conversation was already fraught.

“Of course he were. Jamie loves kids, always goes out of his way to make them feel like they’re special,” she replied firmly. It was an immutable fact so far as she was concerned. “He’d never take his frustrations with someone else out on a child.”

“Of course not, you’re right.” She raised her eyebrows high at that before cocking her head to the side. He really had no idea how to talk to her, she realized. And it seemed like today had really thrown him for a loop. Like others, he was apparently one of those people who thought they knew her son just from how he played.

Few things made her angrier.

“I’m going to be honest, Coach Lasso. You don’t much strike me as a person who appreciates conflict. Me? I don’t much either but I don’t run away from it. And that seems like your go-to move from what I’ve observed.

So it’s hard to want to show you respect already. But I also don’t much have use for men what abandon their families. And I’m sure you think your reasons are compelling, but from where I’m standing there is no way in hell they could be.

There isn’t a thing on this earth that would take me halfway across it away from me Jamie.”

🌹

From nothing solid yet:

The thing is. The thing is, and it’s not fair, he knows. But the thing is that Jamie has spent a dozen years dreading his phone’s screen notifying him of a text from “dad”. So now, even though his dad had graduated from rehab to a sober house, that knee-jerk dread still hasn’t faded.

It feels unfair to his dad. And it is definitely unfair that if he isn’t in a completely solid frame of mind when a text comes in, that it can send him spiraling faster than he can sprint.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Matchy-Matchy

Day 4 of the Tedbecca Prompt Party!

No. 51: When Ted tells Henry he wants to propose to Rebecca, Henry asks if he can propose too. After all, she's not just saying yes to being Ted's wife, but to being Henry's stepmother, too...

~~~~~

Henry Lasso looked sharp. Really, really sharp. He had big plans tonight. He and his dad had painstakingly chosen everything they’d need for that night. They were ready. They had taken the tube into the city, he’d never been in a shop which kept the doors locked before. He’d stuck close to his dad, ooh’d and ahh’d at the right moments. They’d gone home via the grocery store and picked out the very best ingredients, he’d chosen the dessert. At home, he’d made sure his dad didn’t go too far off the rails of the recipe. They didn’t need a repeat of the cheese sauce of 2019 where his dad had switched out the cheese for one which really didn’t work. Once dinner was prepped as much as it could be, they’d gotten changed. His dad had shaved, Henry hadn’t. They’d put on matching suits. After his dad had told him the plan, Henry had begged for a suit so they’d gone to get one from the same tailor. Finally, Henry put the last touches to his contribution, and they were ready.

“Hello darlings! I’m home!” Rebecca called out from the foyer. She could see the kitchen lights were on so made her way through to a beautiful candlelit table set for three. Ted and Henry were both dazzling in their suits

“Happy birthday Becca!” They both cheered. She’d had the loveliest day with Keeley at her favourite spa, and now she was home with her favourite boys, and from the wonderful smell in the kitchen, her favourite meal was on the menu. Her hand covered her heart,

“My men. Thank you so much, this looks gorgeous!” She’d opened her arms for a hug for Henry, letting him instigate it and then she’d stepped into Ted’s embrace.

“Beautiful birthday girl.” He whispered, kissing her softly. “Here, sit.” He pulled out her chair and poured her a glass of wine.

“What a wonderful surprise. I hope you haven’t worked too hard for me?”

“Course not,” Ted chuckled with an exaggerated wink to Henry. The meal was, as expected, perfect. Rebecca had long declared that she’d never tire of Ted’s cooking, and the only other person who’s culinary skills she’d ever need was Roy’s. Ted decided he could live with that - Roy did make a mean Arrabiata sauce. They all sat back in their seats, full and happy. “Hen, you wanna go switch the oven on for dessert?”

“Sure Dad.” Henry got up and clicked a few well practised buttons. When he returned, Ted stood from the table, adjusted the leg of his suit trousers and got down on one knee in front of Rebecca. Next to him, Henry did exactly the same thing. Rebecca was gobsmacked, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“Honey, I got an important question for you. It’s taken us a while to get here, but I don’t want to live another second of my life without you in it. Will you do me the honour of marrying me?” He opened a jewellery box with a stunning off-pink diamond ring.

“And Rebecca, I got an important question for you too. I’m gonna be here a lot, and I’m gonna need someone like you - cos I think you’re really great, I wonder if you’d do me the honour of being my bonus-mom?” Henry opened his own jewellery box with his own purple pipe cleaner ring with a little pink bead centre. The gasp Rebecca had let out at Ted’s proposal was eclipsed by the sob she’d let out at Henry’s. She nodded through her tears, barely able to speak.

“Yes, yes to both of you, of course yes!” Henry put his ring on her finger first and Ted followed, the more traditional band keeping Henry’s ring in place. She joined them, kneeling on the floor and pulling them both into a fierce hug. “I love you both so very much.” She murmured once she’d recovered her breath and her voice.

“And we love you too.”

“We both love you, mum.”

FIN

[abubblingcandle]

I desperately need to know about ‘A Lasso Tartt Kent Jones Sutton Welton Beard Family Christmas’

More than happy to talk about this fic! This is one of my first fic ideas for Ted Lasso. It's a follow up in my Jamie Lasso series where Jamie and Ted were a lot closer than in canon and had a more familial relationship.

The premise is that Ted is coming over to Richmond with Henry for Christmas and Jamie has invited him over to Christmas with him and Georgie and Simon. This has then escalated to Jamie hosting Christmas for Ted, Henry, Roy, Roy's sister, Phoebe, Keeley, Georgie, Simon, Beard and Rebecca and he gets a little overworked and overwhelmed.

I'm hoping to finish it by Christmas but then whumptober happened soooooo fingers crossed.

Here's a snippet from the intro though!

“It will get done, I promise but you pacing isn’t going to get it done any faster. Run me through the plan." “Henry and Ted are landing on the night of the 23rd, me and Roy going to pick them up, and they’re staying in Ted’s old flat because Rebecca loans it out. Mum and Simon are getting the train down on the morning of the 24th, I’m gonna pick them up from Euston and the three of us are going to go to mine to get changed, drop bags and shit. Then we’ll come here where you and Roy would have been cooking all morning. Ruth and Phoebe and Rebecca and Beard will come over about eleven then we’ll do presents. Then food. Then a nice evening of relaxation. Snacky bits for tea if people need it. Simon is bringing both sugar full and his attempt at sugar free lebkuchen so we need to save some for the lads or Simon will be cooking on Christmas again. Then we’ll all go back to where we sleep. Lazy Christmas morning. Henry, Ted, Rebecca, Beard, Roy and I will be getting the coach to Liverpool in the afternoon so we are there and settled for lunchtime kick off. You are being an absolute angel and staying to entertain mum and Simon,” Jamie pauses to give Keeley a kiss, “but making sure to not be out anywhere watching the game because mum gets het up and I don’t want to come back to you guys having been in a bar fight. Then we should be back late on Boxing Day so just sleep. Then 27th Roy and I have film and light workout so that then touristy stuff. 28th, Villa at home 3pm kickoff. Everyone is coming to the game and family party after. 29th, I’m spending it with my folks before they head back north in the evening. 30th, training. 31st, light training then sexy new years with the loves of my life. 1st, Burnley at home, 3pm kickoff. Ted and Henry at the game then they are flying out on the 2nd.” Jamie did look a bit more relaxed once he had outlined the plan for the festive season and Keeley nudged him in the shoulder.

[charliekxlly]

this is not articulated well whatsoever. im just getting this down because i can't stop thinking about it.

ted was ALWAYS going to go back to henry. the whole reason he left was to work on himself FOR HENRY. he felt so so abandoned by his father, of course he was going to go back to henry so he wouldn't feel that way. 

and of course he's not going to end up w michelle. nowhere is it implied that they get back together and ted has had so much growth that there is no way he's going to do that to himself.

he's not erasing himself from anything. of course he's going to say "it wasn't ever about me" bc it never was (to him at least). i wish he would give himself more credit and yes he's the reason so much changed and he's made everything better. but it wasn't JUST him. he got the ball rolling but everyone worked on themselves. however i do think the lasso way would've been a better title.

sam achieving his dream is so so important. and roy becoming head coach isn't a bad thing. it's what was going to happen. HE LEFT. of course there's going to be a new head coach??

jamie reuniting with his dad was really weird tho. i didn't love that whatsoever. and jane and beard getting married. 

the royjamiekeeley stuff was also weird. i choose to believe that the whole reason they got into the argument abt keeley was bc they were reverting to their toxic ways and trying to bury the touchy feeley emotions. i didn't like it but it did give us good stuff. 

roy FINALLY realizing he needs to work on himself. and keeley making it clear she doesn't need either of them. it's allowing both the boys to grow and become more mature and maybe in the future the polycule will happen. but they need to grow first. keeley doesn't need either of them, she never has. and they're both realizing they're idiots and she doesn't need them. progress isn't linear. they're both going to fuck up. but they realized they did. it's called growth.

that being said, i still didn't love it. jamie bringing up the video hurt me. what was that for?? 

and i do think it's a very real possibility that the final montage was ted's dream. but the montage isn't a bad ending for anyone by any means?? (except for beard). hell they left the polycule kind of ambiguous but to the point where it could be very real.

rebecca deserved to be with dutch man. she gets to be a mother and gets to be in love. stfu.

ultimately i loved it and people can suck it if they want to cry abt it. ted was ALWAYS going to go back to henry. and nobody's forgetting abt him. and there's no way he doesn't visit as much as he can. idk why ppl want it to end the exact same it's been just with some added romance?? it's weird.

it was a good ending. thank you jason sudeikis