#not being invited

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[acids-and-basses]

Question do you think that sleeping beauty and Snow White might be based on the illiad? With beauty you have someone who was the only person in the kingdom who wasn’t invited to a party who then retaliates against them.

With Snow White you have the question of who’s the fairest of them all asked to a ‘man?’ Involving a very not good apple

[neapenning]

First morning on the Express 🚂

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[crystallizedtwilight]

Motivational speaker Buggy!

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Trials and Tribulations of Summoning

You know how in most Summoning Danny pieces, it's either some unnamed cult or John Constantine doing the actual circle drawing and chanting and stuff? And while, yes, it makes sense, consider this: Constantine doesn't know shit about summoning ghosts/entities from Infinite Realms. He is more than knowledgeable in summoning demons and biblical horrors and gods and whatnot, but the Realms are an entirely different field of tricky fuckery, and require a completely different skillset and knowledge of different runes and stuff.

Think about it like being a dentist and then getting asked to perform neurosurgery. Like, yes, sure, you're a doctor, and both areas are generally head-related, but it's not your specialty, you don't know anything about it aside from the most general stuff.

So, when the JL needs to summon the Ghost King for whatever reason, and they ask John Constantine, he doesn't start drawing runes on the floor. Instead, he calls a friend.

An hour later, the whole Justice League is graced by the presence of a very young, very obviously goth girl with a sharp tongue, who makes it a point to express how not pleased she is to meet them.

Samantha Manson is rather unimpressed by both the hero assembly in front of her and the alleged world-ending threat she is shown. She doesn't call for Ghost King or anything like that, even, she just clicks her tongue, asks for a pinch of sea salt, a bouquet of any flowers they can find, a mirror, and a few other nonsensical items of choice.

The threat is eliminated within minutes with a bunch of weird magic that no one, not even the members of the JLD, understands.

"You don't need the King for this shit," Samantha Manson says, brushing her hands off, "It'd be like fighting a single cockroach with a nuclear explosion. Don't call me again."

They do call her again, of course. Several times over the years of fighting off all the things that come for Earth.

Until on one memorable occasion, she does summon the Ghost King, and the teen angst bullshit goes from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. Apparently, the King is of the same age as Samantha, and boy, do they have beef with each other.

At least the world does get saved in the process, so there's that.

[basedjamil]

silly little retainerswap au . . . baur was a bodyguard for one of kalim's ancestors; kalim is at NRC specifically so that sebek can go without abandoning his post. the vipers are the traditional retainers for briar valley's royalty and they REALLY disapprove of lilia for book 7 spoilers reasons

[egophiliac]

Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point

(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)

Have a nice day !

you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...

(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")

all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.

(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.

(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)

[aethersea]

I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.

it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"

plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.

anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.

[bucksboobs]

I hope Tommy never leaves I hope he’s Eddie’s Best Man at the Buddie Wedding I hope he gives a toast mentioning that he’s the reason this finally happened I hope he and Chimney and Eddie still hang out I hope he takes Buck to things that Eddie isn’t that interested in the same way he takes Eddie to fights, I hope we find out what his dynamic is with Hen and Bobby and Ravi, I hope he gets a place in that little 118 family he was so jealous of

[tampire]

#Retail Mood

[nukudraws]

[zhelin-thames]

Disowned by Vlad, Adopted by Bruce

prompt idea

@silverblueglitter

Danny leaned back in his chair, staring at the clock as it ticked down. It was becoming unbearable, and his coffee was long gone. He needed something to take his mind off the pressure. So, naturally, he decided to take a break with a call to his old "father" figure.

"One second," Danny muttered, holding up a finger to Bruce, who was standing nearby, watching him with an amused look. "I need to make a call."

Bruce raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Danny picked up his phone, hitting speed dial with practiced ease.

The phone rang a few times before a familiar voice crackled through the line. "Danny, what is it this time?"

"Dude, I need you to disown me or something," Danny said bluntly, letting his shoulders slump as he leaned back in his chair. Bruce shifted next to him, clearly interested but not saying anything.

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line before Vlad’s voice came back, a little more strained. "What do you mean ‘disown you’? I don’t think that’s how this works."

Danny exhaled dramatically, flipping a pen between his fingers. "Look, I found a much better billionaire. Even his basement is cooler than yours, and his mansion doesn't give me the creepy ‘don't go near the basement’ vibe. I’m just saying, this Bruce Wayne guy is kind of a step up from whatever mess you’ve got going on. You’re interfering with my ability to fantasize, Vlad."

From the other end of the line, there was an offended sputter. "What���Bruce Wayne? You can’t be serious. That man is—"

"Yeah, well, I might just call him Dad," Danny interrupted, a smirk pulling at his lips as he looked over at Bruce, who was now watching him with wide eyes. "Who knows, maybe he’s better at this ‘parenting’ thing. I mean, you’ve been busy being a creepy ghost villain, and Bruce... well, he’s got a cool cave. You should be jealous."

Bruce froze. His posture shifted slightly, his eyes narrowing in confusion and... something else. Something a little less amused. Danny was too wrapped up in the call to notice the shift.

"I don’t care if you find a ‘better billionaire.’ I’ve invested time in you!" Vlad yelled, his voice thick with indignation.

"Yeah, well, maybe it’s time for an upgrade," Danny shot back, crossing his arms. "Your mansion is a total dump compared to Wayne Manor, and it’s kind of embarrassing now. I might just take up Bruce's offer to adopt me. He seems way more competent, and, honestly, I don’t know what you’ve been doing in your creepy lair all these years."

At this point, Bruce was visibly processing the situation, his mouth slightly open as he tried to piece together what was happening. He hadn’t heard Danny mention wanting to be adopted by anyone—especially not someone like Bruce Wayne. His heart rate had picked up a little, though he quickly masked it with a forced casualness.

"I don’t need your drama, kid!" Vlad shouted in response.

Danny shrugged, his attention drifting back to Bruce. "Don’t worry, Brucie. I’ll come over sooner or later. Your mansion’s way cooler, and your kitchen has better snacks."

Danny could practically hear the steam coming out of Vlad’s ears on the other side of the call as the ghost finally cut the connection with a harsh click. Danny stared at the phone for a moment, then tossed it onto the desk.

Bruce was quiet for a long moment. "You... You really want to be adopted by me?" His voice was even, but there was a slight edge to it—a crack that betrayed something beneath the calm façade.

Danny shrugged, not meeting his gaze. "I mean, I could think of worse things. You're rich, you have cool gadgets, and, honestly, it'd be nice to have a family that doesn't involve ghostly vengeance, y'know?"

Bruce’s posture shifted again, and this time he didn’t hide the brief moment of genuine surprise. Then, ever the composed figure, he let out a slow breath, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. "I can’t exactly offer you the freedom you seem to want, Danny... but if that’s something you want to discuss, I’d be happy to have that conversation."

Danny met Bruce’s gaze, and for a second, just a second, the weight of the world seemed a little lighter.

"Yeah," Danny said softly, leaning back in his chair again. "I mean, I guess it's not the worst offer."

Bruce’s expression softened further, though he quickly masked it again. "Good. Let’s talk when you’re ready."

The awkward silence settled between them, but it wasn’t as heavy as before. Danny could see it now, just barely. Maybe Gotham wasn’t such a mess after all.

Maybe it was just starting to look a little more like home.

[theblack-dog]

Darry was hella messy in high school. Like if he wasn't invited to party, he'd call the police on it so it'd get shut down.

If he wasn't going, no one was.

[bayeis]

I haven't watched this show a day in my life

[tea-cat-arts]

Sometimes I wonder what Jiang Cheng could've become if his parents didn't instill a mix of "crippling fear of failure" and "impossibly high standards" in him. Cuz like, his dad was holding him to the vague standard of being as good as wwx, his mom yelling at him whenever he goofed around like wwx, and then both of them expressed disappointment when he's less successful than wwx. The thing both of them seem to ignore though is that wwx got where he is entirely because he had the freedom to fuck around and find out- he trained tirelessly because he made training fun for himself, he was innovative as a cultivators because he experimented and persisted through failures, and he was able to act in line with the Jiang clan moto because his actions had less political pull than members of the main family. Jiang Cheng on the other hand- if he fucked around he got told to "stop stooping to the level of servants." If his achievements were lesser than wwx's, he got either dismissed by his dad or yelled at by his mom to try harder. And if he picked fights with the Wens, they'd have an excuse to destroy his clan. Like ya- no shit that'd create an adult who's terrified of failure.

The kite game serves as such a good metaphor/embodiment of this set back- with Jiang Cheng never being able to shoot as far as Wei Wuxian because he pulls back and shoots closer the second he misses.

And its sad too because he's shown to be pretty brilliant when he's in "fuck it, we ball" mode. Like, when he's not freezing up, he manages to pull off things like rebuilding his entire clan from the ground up, leading armies and taking back territories from the Wens, and I'm fairly sure he's the only character we see counter the Lan music cultivation techniques (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on that last one. Also feel free to add any of the other cool shit he did that I'm blanking on at the moment, cuz I know I'm forgetting something).

That being said- even with his anxiety, he's still one of the top cultivators. Imagine what a force of nature he'd be if he could sustain "fuck it we ball" mode