#not being able to do the thing because I'm tired!

[un-fwuit-un-fwog]

First Choice

Synopsis: The Prefect has to choose a dorm to move into, and they immediately think of Leona.

TW: it's relatively vague, but it's mentioned that The Prefect was uncomfortable with the thought of staying in other dorms for reasons you would imagine a woman wouldn't want to stay in a space with all men (specifically, she's overheard jokes, and noticed looks that made her uncomfortable (I try to keep it vague though))

Fem! Reader x Leona

You sat in Crowley's office with your arms crossed and a tired expression on your face. You had walked back to Ramshackle after another long day of classes and mayhem just to find the roof had caved in.

Crowley sat in silent contemplation as if he were actually mulling over the issue like someone who actually cared before snapping his fingers with a triumphant smile on his face: "Because I am so kind, I shall allow you the opportunity to choose one of the 7 dorms to move into!"

Your face remained blank. It's not that you disliked the idea of being able to sleep in a building that you didn't have to worry about leaks, mold, collapses, and cave ins, but you weren't too fond of the idea of having to live with a bunch of men.

You mulled over your options for a moment before sighing and pulling out your phone. Crowley looked at you quizzically. "I wanna make sure it's okay with him first" you mumble under your breath.

Moments later, you get a text from Leona: "Whatever."

You figured that would be as close to a yes as you could get, so you relayed the information to Crowley.

Just then, another buzz of your phone came: "Don't bring the d*mn cat."

Well, that complicated things. You weren't too fond of the idea of leaving Grim behind. Crowley, on the other hand, thought it was a glorious idea. He'd send Grim off to Heartslabyul (without consulting with Riddle first, of course). Surely, some time in the strictest dorm would do the little critter some good.

Before either of you could protest, he was already out the door holding grim by the collar.

When you arrived at Savanaclaw, it was already late. Ruggie greeted you with a snicker and tossed you a basket of laundry to bring up to Leona's room.

"Can't have ya freeloading" was the hyena's excuse.

"Delivery." A yawn slipped from your mouth as you dropped the basket of laundry just inside the door.

A rustling came from the bed before moments later a grumpy lion finally lifted his head to look at you. "The h*ll are you doing here?"

". . .You said I could stay, remember?"

Leona's tail flicks back and forth a few times before he flops back down. "Was half expecting ya to choose a different dorm instead."

With a hum, you closed his door and picked the basket back up to set it next to his closet. "Now, why would I do that?"

You heard a scoff come from Leona "In case ya haven't noticed, Savanaclaw isn't exactly a prissy little proper dorm with a-"

You cut your upper classman off by throwing a pillow at his face.

"Oops, my hand slipped" you hum as you set the laundry basket down again.

Leona growls, but he doesn't move. If anyone else were to throw a pillow at him, he'd likely rip their throat out, but with you, he didn't have that compulsion. "The h*ll was that for?"

"Is that really what you think I'd be looking for in a dorm I'll have to move into?" As you speak, you casually sit on the edge of his bed so you can meet his eyes and give him a 'really?' look.

"Yes." His response is blunt and to the point.

A sigh slips from your lips as you stand up "Seriously?"

"Well what else would you be looking for?" He scoffs with a roll of his eyes "And which of those criteria would you find in this dorm?"

"You're here." You reply without having to think and as if the answer is obvious.

In response, Leona just stares at you disbelievingly.

"I'm serious. The moment Crowley said I had to move into a dorm, this was the first one I thought of, and because of you."

He remains silent, his expression only becoming more skeptical. Don't get him wrong, when you said he was your first thought, your first choice, it made something tighten in his chest. However, anyone can lie, and your current sentiment sounds completely improbable to him.

Another exasperated sigh leaves your mouth before you motion for him to scoot over.

Surprisingly, he complies and gives you space to sit crisscross next to him. "I'm the only girl in this school."

"Obviously." You give him a quick warning glare at his snarky comment, and he raises his hands.

"As I was saying, I'm the only girl in this school. I'm not saying I particularly distrust the other students here, but that doesn't change the fact that I constantly find myself in settings here that make me feel unsafe."

Leona's once swishing tail stills, but his expression remains neutral.

"Sure, I have friends in other dorms, but, for one reason or another, I never feel fully at ease in those spaces."

"And you do here?"

"Yes."

The room falls silent for a moment before you continue: "I can't fully explain it, but. . .I said that the reason I chose to come to Savanaclaw was because you're here. That matters because. . .I feel safe around you."

Leona scoffs before he can stop himself. "I tried to kill you."

"Yes, but I've never worried that you'd do worse."

Leona's eyes widen a fraction at the statement. He debates asking for a moment, but eventually decides to: "And you have about others?"

Silence falls once more, but this time it feels much heavier.

"Some of it is just a lack of knowing,. . .but sometimes I hear people make unsavory jokes. . .and sometimes I catch a glint in people's eyes that I'm not sure I want to know the thoughts behind."

Before the atmosphere can get too awkward, you clap your hands together, "That or sometimes I just feel like people don't know how to treat me because I'm a girl." you add, trying to lighten the mood.

"But I've never felt that way with you. You respect my space and my boundaries but still treat me like a normal person."

Deciding it's probably best not to talk about the previous subject too much as you seem uncomfortable with it (not that he's going to forget it though), he follows along with the topic shift. "Nobody else in any other dorm does that?" he scoffs "It's the bare minimum, nothin' special." His words don't come off as being said in a way to subtly tell you to pick a different dorm to stay in, that he doesn't want you here, but rather as genuinely curious and with a barely noticeable undertone that way maybe. . .threatening?

"It's not that nobody else does. . .it's hard to explain. You not only treat me with respect, but by doing so, you encourage others around you to do the same. Last time I stayed here, you always seemed to be there to step in if anyone crossed any boundaries or said anything that made me uncomfortable. When I returned to your room looking even slightly uncomfortable, you'd notice and take me seriously when I had a concern instead of brushing it off."

Noticing you had just rambled off praise, you quickly add "And you're a dorm leader, so staying in your room would surely deter anyone from trying anything! Cause you're big and scary. . .haha."

Leona is eerily silent for a while before he huffs and lets a grin creep onto his face. "I didn't know you thought so highly of me, Herbivore."

You roll your eyes and lightly punch his arm, grateful for how he lightened the mood.

"Well, I could easily give the same praise to plenty of other people, some of whom are even dorm leaders." you scoff playfully. "I genuinely don't know why it's just you that makes me so comfortable."

"Maybe ya have a thing for me." the lion jokes.

Normally, you'd be put off by such a comment, but coming from Leona, you can tell it has nothing nasty or creepy behind it.

"As if!" You try your best to sound firm and to match his sarcasm, but a light blush creeps to your face.

Leona originally wasn't going to push the matter, but seeing your positive reaction, he continues, "Oh? I seem to recall you mentioning that I was your first choice though."

"You know I didn't mean it like that!" you hiss, irritated by the smirk on his face.

You move to get up, but before you do, Leona lightly stops you. "What are you-"

He cuts you off by resting his chin on your shoulder from behind and lifting his phone into the air. You catch on to what he's doing, and decide to just go along with it. . .but not without getting him back for a bit of his earlier teasing.

You lift one hand to cradle his cheek that isn't pressed against your neck and give your best smile. If Leona is phased by the action, he doesn't show it as he quickly clicks the picture and posts it on his virtually dead magicam account, making sure to tag the other dorm leaders in the post.

"You're a jerk" you sigh, watching him hit post.

You leave the room a bit later to take a shower in the bathroom attached to his room, and only then does he allow the faintest of blushes to creep onto his face.

Partially because of you holding his face, partially because of your praise, but mostly because of something you said much earlier.

He was your first thought. He was your first choice.

Leona was never first.

You had 7 dorms to choose from and you chose his arguably unappealing one where it was always humid and full of sweaty guys roughhousing.

It wasn't that you thought of the dorm first, you thought of him. He was your first choice. He is your first choice.

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[shadowgamerhalo]

My early child years I was a morning person, but the older I got that's when the shift happened. I became someone who woke up in the afternoon most days. How I was treated for this was horrendous. My several of my siblings would comment on or mock me for it, especially on the occasions i was awake in the morning. My mom often threatened to take away things just cause I couldn't wake up in the morning. And mind you I say couldn't as in, I tried to wake up in the morning, my body wouldn't let me. I often would say it knew how much sleep I needed better than I did.

When I started college it was absolute hell, my sleep schedule became so bad that I was sleep deprived during school days, sleeping well into the evening when not going to school.

On top of this, my body had the usual sleep problems, such as can't fall asleep cause of restlessness, seeing things in the dark, racing thoughts. And when I did sleep, sometimes I'd be woken up by nightmares, and some nights I couldn't sleep after them.

I had no control over my sleep, it was exhausting. I tried everything my family told me over and over to do, cause somehow if I did them, I'd be able to wake up in the mornings. None of them worked, and I hated every time someone mentioned how tired I was, mentioned my sleeping habits. I researched everything I could, until someone outside the family mentioned something called melatonin. So I went into more research with that and decided to take the supplement.

This actually helped me fix my sleep schedule, and figure out why my body was doing it. Firstly, children and teenagers need more sleep. Secondly, my body was trying to help me with my growing sleep problems, even if that meant I slept in more often. Thirdly, when I went to college it required me to wake up extremely early, when I normally would be sleeping, my body's circadian rhythm was thrown off badly because of this. Fourthly, I kept inside so much my body wasn't able to produce enough of the melatonin it was already low on supplies with, because of the very people who demanded I wake up earlier.

There wasn't anything wrong with my younger self waking up 10-12, I wasn't harming nobody, in fact those were my more restful days, when I was actually able to sleep as much as I needed to. Messing with my balance was actually what fucked with me, and my body suffered the price for it.

Now days my sleep schedule is forced to do mornings, however it's now a lot healthier than it was in college, as the melatonin sorts out most of the sleep problems, and being away from my family sorts out the others most of the time. And I have one day where I get to sleep in as much as I need to, and yeah my body wakes me up on that day normally at 10 to 11 am. Goes to show I'm still not a morning person, mornings are just because of my work schedule.

I still think it’s objectively fucked how the world is built for morning people and if you wake up later than everyone else you’re seen as a malicious aberration of some sort. I am that but it’s not because I wake up at 11 fuck yourself

[lovemyromance]

I think claiming SJM is a misogynistic author is a lot. She has certain...let's call it "ideals" that shows she reveres the males she writes, the way she describes relationships and men in general in her books is very "primal". It's a lot of cavemen type, super masculine men.

But to call her misogynistic? I think that's a stretch.

Especially when her books are centered around female empowerment. When she's out here renouncing the control people have tried to assert over a woman's body - via Bryce CC3 -

She might have certain takes that I do not agree with, but to try to justify this disgusting argument of Elain not being able to birth Azriel's kids by saying :

"Well SJM's the type of misogynistic author that would do that! I'm not misogynistic, SJM is misogynistic and I'm just picking up on the breadcrumbs!"

Like no. I'm sorry but in this case you are picking up things that are not there. And you're trying to use an author's writing style to justify it. That is wrong.

You may not be misogynistic. But you're letting this ship war cloud your judgement so badly that you are willing to vilify an author just to have a scapegoat to blame for your misogynistic takes.

You're willing to have those misogynistic takes and defend them by saying "the author said it not me!" -> that is still not okay. That is still a misogynistic take.

Stop it. It is really very easy to not use a woman's child birthing abilities to justify your ship. Literally use anything else. This also goes for the people that try to way Azriel can't be with Gwyn because she has SA trauma. Like ... both of these are wrong.

Don't fucking go around saying that. Just don't. It's that easy.

SJM has made her opinion very clear on how she feels about this idea of women being reduced to only whose children they can birth.

You're the ones who refuse to see it. Stop hiding behind "oh SJM is problematic and misogynistic." She might be. But she has also been very clear in this specific case that she does not support your Illyrian anatomy pelvic theories. She does not support this idea that Elain & Azriel cannot be together because Elain can't bear his children.

Move on. Use something else. If you're that secure in your ship, taking one thing off the table shouldn't be able to affect it.

I'm tired of people in this fandom gaslighting Elriels about it too. Like trying to tell us "oh no GA/EL uses that defense anymore stop yapping about it" and then a whole article comes out about it. And people are defending it. Not condemning it. I have not seen ONE GA/EL looking at that article and saying

"You know what? You're right. This is a shitty take. This is not a reason a couple can't be together."

I'm not even saying they need to do that. But at least don't go around and agree with it - for WHATEVER reason.

[pridoo]

friendship ended with Gumroad

Hi everyone,

just got a cold ass email (actually two) this morning that my Gumroad account has been suspended and I can't get my money until I 'agree to their guidelines' which a third party content moderator service iffy (yes, really – their logo is literally the :/ face) is supervising. TLDR; I'm tired, angry and I swear quite a lot.

The funny thing is, I had already archived all my nsfw works on my Gumroad account, which left them with status 'unpublished'. Unknown to me, the contents should have been permanently deleted instead, because apparently in Gumroad unpublished works are still available for purchase via direct links. My bank statement doesn't separate the individual services I get payments from, so I wasn't aware of this.

Even funnier is, someone was still able to buy two comics from me after my account was suspended. Is my money ok but just so they can keep it at Gumroad?? I do not understand.

Anyhow, I deleted all my products on Gumroad. Permanently. Then I followed the guide on to how to get my account back – only to find out that the form for it does not work. At all. So now I'm either stuck with not getting something like 20 USD back from Gumroad or just deleting my entire account, which I'm not sure will help me getting paid. I'm sleepy and tired and most of all, really angry about their way of operating.

This is not the same service I signed up on. Changing the content guidelines, moderating content via a third party service that could be used for, idunno, rake hate speech, is instead used to weed out adult fancomics online. Gumroad's FAQ is written in a flippant way that made my eye twitch from sheer anger. Look at this:

idk, maybe Mrs. Gumroad can give me a fucking break for trusting that my stuff was safe with her instead of being a fucking bootlicking republican ass kissing spineless sandworm?

Anyway, my time with Gumroad is over. They made money from my art and they thank us all like this. It's a middle finger to the face. I'd suggest everyone else consider moving to itch.io from Gumroad as well.

[mediumgayitalian]

jackie we miss you!!! hope ur doing well!!

okay HI GUYS i am finally for the first time in months looking thru my inbox. i am doing this while the gr 5 class i am supplying for goes wild around me lol. they have a free period and they are Noisy kids.

SO. hiatus! i did go on a hiatus. i did not announce it because i did not rly intend to bug off, but i got cramped at work and then i was just tired all the time and i wasn't writing and anything i WAS writing was awful, and i lost confidence, and i stopped writing for months. it was heartbreaking! it has made it harder to enjoy the beautiful world around me.

BUT! ive nearly finished my first year of teachers college and i have made so many friends this year and have been able to, for the most part, handle my stressors with some degree of tact and maturity, and most of all i missed writing like a hole in my side, so regardless of whether or not i feel like i CAN still write i have returned.

now. will this daily posting thing last?? i don't know. i don't want to make promises, because i'm genuinely not sure. i am not as lonely as i was when i first started writing and i have other things now to fill my time and mind; i have fewer ideas now that i'm not dumping one hundred percent of my creative energy into making stories. i would like for this to last! i would like to finish all the fics i started last year and maybe even start some new ones; i would also love to be able to write all 100 prompts of the 100 ways series. that would be cool. for now the goal is to keep posting, but i'm not stressing myself out about it. if that makes sense.

what about fic rec fridays?? will they return? well, that i'm actually not too sure about. one of the biggest reasons i've been so bereft of ideas for the past while is because i haven't been READING anything. i'm not sure why! i've read the actual series a few times in the last year but fanfiction -- and i mean any fanfiction -- hasn't been able to hold my attention, for the first time of my life. it's kind of devastating and i'm not sure why but i really truly hope i get over it soon, because i know everyone has been writing and doing amazing things and i want to be involved (all this to say -- if you have any stellar recs, i'd appreciate them! i'm having trouble finding stuff on my own). right now i'm just re-reading stuff from years and years ago; if i start regularly reading fic again i will start recommending things again.

a very long, rambly message to say: hi everyone! i've missed you! i'm excited to be back, and thanks for being patient with me!

[pots-sibly]

When I flared so bad in November that I physically couldn't be out of bed for more than like. Two or three minutes at a time. I did a loooooot of doomscrolling, to the point where I felt like I was mentally back in the place I was as a teenager when I had no friends and spent every waking minute on like instagram or something. I caught myself falling into habits I haven't had in years, like compulsively arguing with people online or engaging in content that made me mad or upset. If I was in the same place I was when I was younger, I would've just kept falling into that pit, but I know what it's like now to not feel that way, and I didn't want to go back.

So, I did the most logical thing to me: I went on Amazon and ordered a bunch of yarn and crochet supplies.

I haven't crocheted since I was in the single digits. My grandma tried to teach me, but I was never able to get past the chain stitch. Even so, I remembered absolutely loving it; I'd make chains out of whole balls of yarn and just like, have them in a drawer. I'd do it over and over again because I liked the colours and the repetitive motions. It was soothing to me.

I got a beginner's crochet book and started teaching myself other stitches. I was having really bad brain fog at the time, so I learned slow (and wrong), but I still learned. I made scarves for everyone in my family for Christmas that were way too long and just the same stitch over and over again. I took my yarn and hooks to the emergency room, to get blood work, to urgent care. I made a blanket that covers a double mattress and am hoarding yarn under my bed.

I'm just learning how to make other things, like stuffed animals and granny squares, but honestly I would probably be just as happy to make more mile-long chains. It's extremely calming (so much so that I fainted in the middle of doing a scarf in the ER once) and when I'm doing simple patterns, it's something I can do even with the fatigue and the brain fog. I no longer feel the need to engage with shitty people online or spend hours scrolling and rotting. I've successfully pulled myself out of doomscroll spirals with 'oh shit I need to finish that scarf/blanket/amigumuri'

I used to see posts like this going around and always felt a little defensive because I never really had anything like that. I was always so tired and sick and thought it was a personal failing, so someone being like 'hey maybe you should do something other than scroll instagram reels until you want to die' felt like a personal attack (yes, I was in a bad place). But it's literally so important to have Something like this and I'm so glad that I'm in a place now where I actually do

Most anti phone advice is so inane and regurgitated to me but one thing I’ve been thinking about for days is “social media is okay, but the real danger comes in when you think your phone should be your go to during your limited pockets of leisure” like that’s literally the truest thing ever

[spnjediavenger]

I See You

Title: I See You

Type: [very long] one-shot; matt murdock x sister!reader, slight/implied peter parker x reader

Warnings: flangst, two swear words?

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of bullying, self-image issues

Spoilers: none

Notes: Y/f/r - your favorite restaurant

I'm on a big Daredevil kick as Born Again continues to approach and i am so fucking excited for it i can't even explain

So there’s the classic Daredevil trope of reader being self-conscious about her looks and Matt not knowing what she looks like - this is a different spin on that (though at some point i might make one in the typical manner 🤔)

As always, love and/or constructive/friendly criticism is welcome and encouraged!

Disclaimers: i do not own Daredevil, the comics, shows, or any of its plots/characters

Word count: 2444 (oops)

“Y/n, seriously, you shouldn’t listen to them,” Y/n’s best friend, Peter, told her as they approached her apartment building.

“You know it’s not that easy, Peter! Besides, you’re a guy. You’re not as sensitive about your looks as girls are,” Y/n defended, getting tired of the conversation.

“I get that, trust me, I do. I just wish you would be able to see yourself like I do.”

Y/n huffed and fought back the tears in her eyes. “Sorry, but I can only see myself the way that the rest of the freaking school does.” With that, Y/n turned and rushed into the building, leaving Peter to sigh and walk away to start his rounds of New York.

Seriously, why does anyone even hang out with her?

Because it’s the losers that do. Freaks have to stick together.

Her looks definitely aren’t the reason.

I feel bad for her family.

Well, it’s just her brother and he’s blind - so at least he doesn’t have to physically see  her every day.

Are you sure they’re actually related? Her brother is hot. She’s the ugly one. No way those two are genetically similar.

The next to last ‘whispered’ comment was the one that got to her. Not only was it an attack against her, but her brother had to be brought into it. But, ‘at least he doesn’t have to look at her every day…’ Was she really that ugly? Y/n never saw herself that way. She knew she wasn’t the prettiest girl at Midtown High, but she didn’t think she was that grotesque…

Finally, enough tears had collected in her eyes that they ran out of room and had to spill over and down her cheeks. Her nostrils flared and she bit her lip to keep from sobbing. She unlocked the door to her and Matt’s apartment, hurried in, locked the door, and spun around to rest her back against it, letting out a loud sob.

“Y/n?”

Y/n jerked her head up in surprise, covering her mouth for a moment. She sniffed and tried composing herself enough to speak. “M-Matt? What are you doing here?” she asked as her brother came around the corner, still in his work clothes minus his suit jacket and shoes.

“We uh…we had a slow day at the office so decided to close up early for the weekend…I sent you a text,” Matt said a little awkwardly, having noticed his sister’s state before she even got into the apartment.

Y/n frowned and grabbed her phone to check it.

Matty: Slow day at the office, starling. See you when you get home :)

She closed her eyes and sighed. Given the day she had, Y/n hadn’t even thought of checking her phone after school.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Matt asked, concern etching his features. 

“I…I just…” Y/n reached a hand up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I can’t right now, Matt…Later?” She knew there was no point in lying to Matt. Even without his super senses, he knew her better than anyone. And she also knew he wouldn’t let her off the hook knowing the state she was in.

Matt gave an understanding half-smile and nodded. “Later,” he agreed. He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on her forehead, rubbing her back a bit.

Y/n pursed her lips and went to her room, shutting her door, dropping her things onto the floor, and flopping onto her bed to try and nap her troubles away.

Y/n woke up about an hour later to the tail end of her phone buzzing next to her. Sighing. She rolled over and checked it.

Missed call from Peter

Knowing the reason he was trying to call, Y/n rolled her eyes and set her phone back on her nightstand. She ran a hand down her face and sighed again.

“Y/n? Do you wanna come out for dinner?” Matt called to her, knocking lightly on her door. 

Against her better judgment, The girl sat up and muttered a, ‘sure.’

She pushed herself up off the bed and walked to her door. Slowly opening it, she gave Matt a forced smile, letting him put a hand on her back and lead her to the kitchen. Matt had set out some food from a restaurant down the street - Y/n’s favorite. They sat down in silence, Matt keeping his empty gaze towards his food but the rest of his senses on his sister.

Fork scraping plate in circular motion, no sound of swallowing or chewing. She wasn’t even touching anything.

“Aren’t you hungry, Y/n? You usually never turn down Y/f/r,” Matt noted.

Y/n flicked her eyes up to his unseeing ones. The ones that didn’t have to see what she looked like. As she thought this, tears sprang to her eyes again.

Salt and moisture in the air. She was going to cry again.

Matt sighed and pursed his lips. He stood up and held out a hand to his sister. “Come here, Y/n.”

Y/n took his hand and he led her to the couch. They both sat down, Y/n pulling her legs up and hugging them to her chest. 

“Y/n…I know something is going on…and I know whatever it is clearly isn’t easy to talk about. I don’t like pushing you to talk about things but I think it would be better if you did. We can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s going on, yeah?”

Y/n nodded silently. “I know…It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

She sighed in frustration at herself. “It’s stupid, Matt.”

“Nothing that makes you cry is stupid, Y/n. And you’re one of the strongest people I know. So if something is upsetting you this much, I know for a fact it isn’t stupid.”

She looked at him and sniffled. He dipped his head a bit, encouraging her to speak. She sighed for about the millionth time that day and looked down at her hands. “Just…some kids at school were being jerks,” she finally relented.

Matt waited after her pause but realized he would have to prompt her. “I have a feeling it goes a little deeper than that,” he said gently.

Y/n started playing with her hands before speaking again. “They…they were talking about me being a freak…how they don’t know why anyone hangs out with me…” Y/n faded out as tears began a slow race down her cheeks again and her voice started quivering a bit. She was also hoping to not get to the worst of what they had said.

Matt sighed and bowed his head. He hated that his sister was being bullied. He also didn’t understand it. Of course she was everything to him but even if she wasn’t, she was an amazing person. “Look, Y/n…I know it’s easier said than done, but-”

“Matt, don’t tell me to ignore them or that I’m not what they say about me,” she warned hotly. “It’s easy for you to say that because you’re my brother and no offense but it’s hard to believe things like that when seemingly hundreds of other people think the opposite.”

Her brother paused for a moment, trying to think things through in the best way. “They think the opposite,” he repeated. “Thinking and knowing are two different things though, right? You told me what they think…so can I tell you what I know?” He waited for a moment, letting her know he wanted her to agree. She whispered an ‘ok’ and he nodded. “Your name is Y/n Murdock, daughter of Fighting Jack Murdock, and sister of Matt Murdock. You are incredibly smart - I know because you’re ranked in the top five highest GPAs in the school. You are incredibly kindhearted; you volunteer and are always helping others. You’re funny; even I can’t get Foggy to laugh as much as you do.”

Y/n sniffled and wiped a couple more tears away. “That’s all great but you can’t-” Y/n bit her tongue to stop herself.

Matt paused. “Can’t what?”

Shit. There was no going back now.

She closed her eyes and sighed, defeated. Opening her eyes again, she elaborated. “They…They weren’t just calling me a freak…they also talked about the way I look…that I’m ugly…how my looks can’t be the reason people hang out with me…”

Matt’s heart clenched and he could feel his stomach drop a bit. “And?”

Y/n wiped her nose on her sleeve and took a deep breath. “You can’t see me, Matt,” she whispered, voice shaking. “They ‘felt bad for my family’ but someone pointed out how you’re blind so you ‘don’t have to see me everyday…’ All those other things are great…but it’s a little different when it comes to how I look and…it’s just different, Matt.”

Matt ran a hand through his hair as he stewed in sadness. And this time he didn’t know what to say.

Y/n sniffled again. “...You don’t know what I look like, Matt. Not even when I was little…You went blind before I was born…It wasn’t right for them to bring up your sight but it…it just reminds me that it’s something I can’t get comfort about.”

Matt tilted his head back up in her direction. “How do you know I don’t know what I look like? Besides the obvious, I mean.”

Y/n frowned deeper. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t think I’ve asked others what you look like?” Y/n stayed silent but furrowed her brow, Matt hearing the scrunching of the hair. “When we were at the orphanage I’d always ask the nuns what you looked like. And as we both got older, I’d ask the other kids there, Foggy when we met him, Karen. Y/n, I don’t miss my sight as much as some people would think…but I’d be absolutely lying if I said I didn’t wish I could see what my baby sister looks like,” he said, voice wavering in the end. Y/n held in a cry as she saw tears collecting in Matt’s eyes. 

“More than seeing the sky one more time?” Y/n asked in a small voice.

“So much more than that. But I’ll take what I can get by asking others and from what I can feel. So in a way, I do know what you look like. From your beautiful h/c hair,” he ran a hand through her hair; “to your big e/c eyes,” he covered her eyes with his hand, making her huff a laugh and smile a bit; he moved his hands to her cheeks, “your even, beautiful smile”; “your perfectly proportioned nose,” he continued, pinching her nose between two fingers. Y/n let out a watery giggle and swatted his hand away, Matt smiling now too. “So even though I can’t physically do it, I still see you.”

Y/n’s smile faltered a little bit at that. She thought for a moment then frowned again. “You heard me and Peter outside the apartment,” she said as more of a fact than a question.

Matt nodded. “I did. And I know he wasn’t lying, Y/n. Just like I’m not when I tell you these things. Sure it may seem like we’re outnumbered by the negative voices in school but that doesn’t mean they’re right. Kids bully others ‘cause it somehow makes them feel better about themselves. They’re the ones with issues - not you. If they’re making fun of how you look then that just means they’re self conscious of their own looks. So trust the facts and opinions of those around you who care about you, because they’re the ones that matter.”

A few more tears fell from Y/n’s eyes and she leaned forward to hug her brother. Matt happily returned it, one of his hands holding her head and the other wrapped around her middle. “I love you, Matty,” Y/n said.

“I love you too, starling,” he smiled. He gave her a gentle squeeze before pulling away again. “You should probably give Parker a call.”

Y/n sighed. “Yeah, I was kind of a jerk to him, huh?” she said.

Matt smiled a bit. “You were in a vulnerable position, I think he’ll understand. Besides, with how big a crush you two have on each other I’m sure he’s already forgiven you,” he said, smirking when he heard Y/n’s heart skip a beat and felt heat radiate from her cheeks.

“I-...He-...N-No, what are you talking about? We’re just friends, Matt. Best friends. We don’t- I don’t-”

“Yeah yeah yeah, sure. That’s why your heart skipped a beat when I mentioned it and it’s been racing since then.”

“Stop listening to my heart! It’s weird!”

“And why you’re blushing.”

Y/n groaned and covered her face with her hands, falling back on the couch.

“Aw, come on, don’t cover your beautiful face, starling. It’s so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“Stop!”

“Go on, go call your crush and be all awkward on the phone,” Matt teased, poking at Y/n’s sides and trying to pull her hands away from her face.

She yelped and rolled off the couch, knowing full-well Matt could have kept her there but graciously let her escape the embarrassment for the moment.

“You’re my big brother - aren’t you supposed to be against me liking guys and threaten and scare them away?” she huffed as she stood up.

“So you do like him?” he said, smiling feraly from his place on the couch.

“I-...” Instead of incriminating herself further, she bolted to her room and shut the door behind her. “Damn lawyer skills!” she yelled, making Matt laugh out loud. “Don’t listen to my call!” she yelled again.

“I won’t!”

Matt shook his head and turned the TV on, listening in on whatever Y/n had been watching last.

In her room, Y/n went to grab her phone, freezing when she caught her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She dared a look and bravely stepped in front of it. She ran a hand through her hair and stared at herself for a moment.

Beautiful h/c hair, big e/c eyes, even, beautiful smile, proportioned nose. Easing into her smile, Y/n felt more at ease. She could finally see it. She was beautiful. The jerks at school were wrong. If her blind brother could tell these things, then anyone could. But what mattered most was what the people she loved and cared about thought. They saw her for who she was. And that was enough.

A/N: for anyone who suffers with self image - everyone is beautiful and special in their own unique way and please don’t ever doubt that!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

HA I'm 100% not making this camp nanowrimo goal

[filthy-imouto]

I'M TIRED, LEAVE ME ALONE. Hello everyone, I don't like drama (I'm literally just too old for this) and I didn't wanted to make this public but this post let's me no choice because this is just stupid at this point. Some of you might know that @/clumsyzw0mbiez did perma-paywall her Sims and re-uploading CC of others in the past which led to her being critized by others. I was part of her server back then and when she wrote publicly about her being bullied and she wondered why and I told her that the reason might be because she paywalled her Sims including their CC. She projected all the anon hate she got onto me, her friends included. She then made all her Sims free and said I was lying, so I left the server because I didn't liked how I was treated and I don't support people profiting from other peoples work. I reached out once more to her in private, because I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I don't like conflict. She gave me a snarky response and I gave up on that matter, telling her I will block her. Not respecting my boundaries, she reached out to me on Tumblr, TikTok and even found my real life Instagram to message me on there. I told her to leave me alone and that was it. Month later now, people started to talk about her again because she was charging 40 dollars for "Sims 4 classes" (which she also changed to 15 dollars after being called out and now claimed it was never 40 dollars to begin with), where she would "teach" people how to do Sims. I looked into it and someone on my small server posted about this as well, so I talked about what had happend in the past. One of the people there was her friend, she decided to invite 3 people onto it who would spam my server with horrible things, Clumsy included. After an hour of spamming on my server, throwing insults around and telling me that everyone would hate me, they left. I was shocked that the people supporting her, knowing about this, just looked away and/or even enabled her behaviour. While being worried about this whole situation, I tried to move on from this, not talking publicly about it. But this person here, that is probably one of her friends or even herself, don't give me a choice. I don't support bullying, no matter in which direction. Everything I said on my server (which doesn't even have 4 active people on it) was stuff I told Clumsy to her face. This account was obviously made to make it look like I made it, frame me as a bully and Clumsy as a victim like she did it multiple times in the past after being critized. This is literally insanity. This accounts is trying so hard to sound like me, using words I used and turn them into the most hateful way they were able to. I'm done with this, Clumsy. I told you multiple times to leave me alone and you do not respect it. Instead you guys do something like this now after spamming my server last night with disgusting stuff. Just stop already. This account is benefiting her situation so much, it is obvious that it's made to make her look like she was the one being bullied. You all should grow up, seriously.

@clumsyzw0mbiez

This person is a lowlife scammer. She pretends like she’s this sweet person. When in reality all she wants to do is exploit, manipulate and lie to others. This person that you think you know is lying to you.

I have so much proof on everything that she’s done and I plan to post all of it. This is just my initial post because it’s time to bring her character to light. She uses other simmers base to make her Sims. I have proof of this. She has also copied two simmers in the community. Do not let her fool you. Do not let her lie to you.

If you want more information, I can make more post. This is my first, not my last post. I plan to expose her and show everyone the type of person she is. The truth will be revealed. She will no longer be able to trick and lie to people. It is time that the Sims community knows all about her and I’m gonna be the one to do it. 

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[deoidesign]

Wearing your boyfriend's jacket

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH

[ameiniateria]

consistently I'm a little annoyed about the rift between c!Tommy and c!Dream fans in this fandom. like I like your guy too! I think he's great! actually, I think our guys have a lot in common! I'd love to see your take on this really messy, complicated relationship!

oh wait you think c!Dream is a pure evil, completely heartless villain that exists to do nothing but torment c!Tommy, who is of course a sweet innocent uwu baby who did absolutely nothing wrong, and therefore deserves to be murdered twice, imprisoned, isolated, starved, and tortured with no control over his own autonomy (but prison was actually way better than exile, which was the worst thing that ever happened to anyone on the dsmp. obviously. because c!Tommy tried to kill himself. yeah. don't think about c!Dream walking into a wall of lava and burning himself to death multiple times because he was so incredibly desperate for human connection. that was to escape, right? c!Dream couldn't possibly feel real emotions -- that would mean he's a person that -- oh no -- deserves compassion despite the terrible things he did. oh no -- that would make him -- gasp -- a lot like c!Tommy!) and actually he deserved more than that. he was never actually punished. c!Dream always won (citation needed).

also, c!Tommy was a child. do I have to say that again. well, I will anyway. c!Tommy was a child. c!Tommy was a child. c!Tommy was a child.

great.

[la-galaxie-langblr]

Year abroad declaration of intent due in 12 days and I'm kind of freaking out about it 😭

[thefrogdalorian]

Some days being autistic feels like you're playing a video game on the hardest possible difficulty settings, with no instructions and your health down to 1%, while everyone else gets to play in easy mode with directions (so they always know what to do next) and unlimited health cheats.

Sure, being late-diagnosed means you're aware that you're playing on hard mode. Now you know you will struggle and you can give yourself grace and accommodations.

But some days it all feels so unfair...

Why do I have to constantly struggle at things that seem to come so naturally to others?

[thelivingsin]

it's normal to be disappointed when you learn that your dreams are already dead. but just like a phoenix, our death will lead us to our own rebirth; and like a supernova, some deaths are beautiful.