#not as into them anymore tho sigh

[razz-matazz143]

"oh what inspired that work?" "what inspired that poem?" "An old relationship? someone you like?" No actually it's two doomed yaoi characters sorry :(

[hinamie]

alongside someone like you

[myuminji]

Doodles of loser behaviour (he gets kisses)

Another loser behaviour (he gets kisses, again)

they bring Roberto a headache on a daily basis

[gotchibam]

Hey guys, I'd like to apologize for disappearing once again. I seem to end up self-sabotaging myself everytime I try to get back into the swing of things (attempting to do the backlog of comms + doodles, opening patreon). I've been feeling lethargic for some time now & tbh I can't help but remember my mom's situation back then before she got admitted to the hospital. I don't want to go through the same thing so I'm trying my best to pick myself up—even though it's hard. I lost my dad last 2016 then my mom this year & it's just... it's a big blow for me.

I'm sorry if I keep asking for help like this... but I've stretched our budget too thin now since I haven't been able to work on anything. If anyone would like to help, my ko-fi page is open. Any kind of help or support is very much appreciated! 🙏

I'd also like to apologize to those who subscribed to my patreon. I really thought I'd be able to just start right away & draw again like I used to after announcing it here but I thought wrong. I owe you guys a doodle + a drawing session. I can't promise to do them soon but I'll try my best!

Lastly, I've also been thinking of doing an art stream as a thanks for continuing to support me even though I haven't posted art for so long ;_; Nothing fancy, just a simple stream of me drawing on a canvas (I don't have the guts to show my face or talk I'm sorry... 🙈). Tbh it sounds overwhelming but I thought it might help me gain momentum for drawing again. Idek if I'll actually be able to do it, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while now.

I'm sorry again for all this... I'm still a mess atm & so I still keep struggling. But I'm also grateful bc many of you still choose to stay & support me despite the lack of activity. Really though, thank you, thank you so much for still being here ;_; 🙏🙏🙏

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy 5/14!!!!

Aaaaahh not sure if this is my best work 😭 I just really wanted to draw smth for vettonso day but my brain hasn't really been functioning well LOL so I kept dreading working on this, especially bcs its so important to me, y'know? I hope it's good????? I'm happy with the concept, but I was just so unsure on so many of the angles and it was killing me. I did the color thing bcs I thought it'd add something interesting to it :) since I didn't paint it as I usually would

Anyways! Process!

Now I will explain all of them:

Boy king au is where it all starts of course. I think their relationship is the most developed in this compared to the others, but at the same point, they just start from such a different point, especially affection-wise. All of these kinda have a power dynamic, except the last one, and this is the most imbalanced. Fernando is being subservient, the only part of Seb he may kiss(in public lol) is his hand.

Matador au next. They hurt themselves when they try to be affectionate, because they live in the culture of a sport of violence and death. The sword separates them, their love for the sport keeps them apart, in fear that they hurt each other. Seb, yet again, looks down upon Fernando. Seb haunts Fernando's whole career, the constant overhanging presence. Also aside from that, shame that you can't see his three musketeers look bcs of the black background 😔

2012 core!!! I think this one is pretty easy to understand. Both of them often kiss their trophies, more so than any driver. So they're both trying to claim the wdc trophy by kissing it. Maybe you guys should just get rid of the trophy altogether and claim each other! But yes, just like the sword in the matador au one, the trophy and their ambitions divides, keeps them from ever bridging the vast gap between them, at least at that point in time.

The conclusion! Aka what I wish we will get at Imola 2024- kidding kidding. But it is 2024. Finally there is no conflict between them, there's no big thing keeping them in conflict, they can finally come together. Finally they can touch, there is no gap to bridge, they can appreciate each other, and appreciate what they failed to in years past.

The thesis is basically that they always have their aspirations between them, and their aspirations happen to be basically the same thing. Until those are resolved, the gap between them is too vast for them to recognize and/or find any commonality. How do you get along with someone when you're both fighting for the same thing? How do you get along when it feels like one of you is winning more? How do you get along when there's such a vast gap?

In boy king au, it's going to take a while before they both feel settled about the issue of the throne. That's what makes that au interesting, they're trapped in this state of non-closure and they have to actually solve their issues without the matter of one of them simply removing themselves from the equation. They have to find a way to get over themselves and their aspirations, because like it or not they're stuck with each other. I think with the hand kissing, it represents how Fernando, at that point, is only willing to play along with the game if it's tradition, and he often won't budge in other ways. Yes, I will show subservience, but only in this detached, formal way that I don't connect personally to. He's still holding his own bitterness over meaningfully appreciating Seb. Though it's not like Seb isn't at fault. It takes a while for him to not hold things over Fernando, and constantly humiliate him. One day they will meaningfully show affection, and it won't be some sort of power play.

I think matador au is pretty similar to real life, and the 2010s era(it's basically just their actual plot line but in the context of bullfighting.) They're forever going to have this big elephant in the room, and it only really gets resolved when one of them leaves the sport. Once they're not fighting directly against each other, they realize what they've been missing out on and what they were not appreciating for so many years beforehand. They finally come together because they can't just rely anymore on the sport keeping them together. They actually have to make that step to be in each other's lives, rather than just taking their presence for granted.

Also the text on the comic. "We keep missing, and missing, and missing, and finally kissing." It's basically: we keep missing the point of it all, we keep failing to appreciate each other presence in our lives and in our own individual grand stories. But when we're not forced together anymore, we have to make the choice to come together again ourselves. We keep missing what we actually need to do. Missing each other in favor of our aspirations. Etc etc. One day we will finally embrace and there will be nothing keeping us apart.

[babygirlbdubs]

sighs. alright. i couldn't get it out of my head so uh. here, have a continuation of this quacktho ficlet from the quarterfinals. (i didn't wanna hijack stuff's post again so new post)

***

Etho's exhausted. Normally, taking Scar down in a fight is easy. But between the mass Jellie army, and Etho's own wear from the quarterfinals... if he'd just had more time...

He lay on the ground, chest rising and falling softly-- chest rattling as he breathes through his mask. The sky above is painted in morning light, the fight having lasted all night. It's the first moment Etho's had to rest since he and Mumbo walked onto the field days ago.

"It's not fair..." he mutters to no one in particular.

"Yeah, man," comes a newly familiar voice. Quackity sighs and sits in the dust with Etho, looking over at him with a crooked smile. "That's how this shit goes. Never is fair."

Etho's brows furrow as he looks up at the duck. "You have experience with this kind of thing?" he asks with a light scoff.

"Ohhh, a bit." Quackity flops back to lay next to his ally, one arm folding back behind his head as he settles. "Hey, you think they'd let us pool our votes? Bet we'd take Scar out then."

The hermit snorts and shakes his head, looking back up at the sky. He's quiet for a few moments, the loss truly starting to settle.

"If we'd just had a break, maybe I could've--"

"Hey, hey! Don't think like that, man!" Quackity lightly punches his arm, making Etho look at him with a bit of a glare. "Dude, if fuckin' Technoblade couldn't beat him, I dunno who can." He reaches out, interlacing their fingers and giving Etho's hand a light squeeze. "You gave him the closest fight outside of Techno, and you did that after fighting against Mumbo and Joe."

For a few moments, Etho just looks at him, processing what's been said. His face relaxes a little and he nods.

"Yeah. Guess you're right."

Quackity's face brightens, the wings on either side of his head perking up. "Oh! I was cheering you on, did you see?"

Etho laughs softly, a bit of affection creeping into his gaze. "Yeah. Yeah, I saw." He looks like he has something to say, but isn't sure... he swallows and looks past Quackity as he speaks. "I'm, uh... I'm glad it was you. You're a good partner."

"Heeell yeah, I am!" The duck laughs brightly. "Don't sell yourself short, though. I'm damn glad to have had you on my side."

The pair meet eyes for a moment, sharing something between them that there are no words for.

Quackity is the one to break his gaze away, looking down at their interlocked hands. "C'mon." He sits up and tugs lightly at Etho. "Let's go get you patched up and join the others. The finals are gonna be the best fight yet, I bet."

Etho groans as he hauls himself up. "Yeah, yeah." He lets Quackity let go of his hand in favor of wrapping an arm around Etho's waist. The hermit sags against him, grateful for the support. "You healin' okay?"

"Ah, stop worryin' about me, babe, I'm fine!" He starts leading Etho off the field, one step at a time. "I've had way worse. I mean, look at this scar!" Pointing to his face with his free hand, he flashes a grin-- gold tooth glinting in the rising sun.

"Alright, alright," Etho laughs out-- cutting off to cough. "... Ow."

Quackity gives him a sympathetic look and lifts up to his toes to press a quick kiss to Etho's cheek, admiring the blush that creeps over Etho's ears from it.

It only takes a few moments before Quackity is speaking again. "Y'knooowww... You should come visit Las Nevadas sometime. I think you'd dig it!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Fuck yeah, dude!"

Etho contentedly listens as Quackity starts talking about his city. Of all the things he'd expected to happen in this tournament, this certainly wasn't one of them.

But... he's happy it did. In fact, he's already drawing up business plans for Shade-E-E's in his head.

[juhotonin]

Zey's Top 10 Songs of 2023 ✨ (JULY-DECEMBER)

I was tagged by my sweetheart @hwichanis Thank you love for tagging me and I had fun doing this <3

In no particular order:

Lip Gloss - The Boyz | Fast Forward - Somi | Slay - Everglow | Crush - Zerobaseone | Guilty - Taemin | Do not touch - Misamo | Maniac - Viviz | Chasing that Feeling - Tomorrow x Together | Watch it - The Boyz | OOTD - Dreamcatcher

Special & Honorable Mentions:

Hear me Out by EXO (which came out on June the 30th that’s why it couldn’t make the list

Drive by Hwiyoung (SF9)

In Bloom by Zerobaseone

Chill Kill by Red Velvet

Love me a little by Shownu x Hyungwon (Monsta X)

Bona Bona by Treasure

Since I’m probably late to the party I don’t know who’s already done it or not and even if you don’t wanna do it, also fine but tagging a few in case IF you wanna do it @insoeng @okaysign @nfly5 @dengswei

[watery-melon-baller]

ive been fuckin gaslit by google again lads

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

I AM SO NORMAL. ABOUT YOUR WOMEN. DONT ASK WHY IM RIPPING THE CUSHIONS WITH MY FINGERNAILS. SO SO SO NORMAL. I WOULD COMPLIMENT THEM AND THEN SCREAM INSIDE. ESPECIALLY KILLER AND CROSS SXND BEJKWEJHCKL:

im normal

wawawa THANK YOU SO MUCH :'D <33333

if it makes you feel better i am just as sane and okay with my versions as well and i'm not haunted by their faces every time i draw them nuh uh i'm okay :)

[choctalksalot]

i think homestuck is pretty neat because all of the kids (and trolls, im using kids loosely) have this way of introducing themselves where they project an image of who they are/who they want to be, while also having a certain degree of self awareness on how much they actually embody that image. and under all of that a whole different version of themselves that they Actually Are that is usually a thousand times more lame, and more interesting because they're just kids. just a bunch of video gaming nerds. but by being those things, they're people, with flaws in places they may not expect and parts of themselves they misinterpret

so even on the things that they're self aware about, oftentimes they're also wrong about it to some degree, either by playing it up, brooding in in their flaws "i can't fix myself i am #brocken" style or closing their eyes to an underlying problem, sometimes being completely aware of it but burying it regardless

just. god !! it's so chewy. it's the basics of how any reasonably intelligent people would act and interact, i've seen it in media so many times, but there's something about how self-aware all of the kids are, how that awareness is still flawed, and how it reflects in all of their interactions that just Gets me so hard.

it might have something to do with how homestuck itself is a game about growing up. maybe it's how the narration itself embeds into the kids' perspectives and how it literally laser-shoots the image they each want to project into your head first through a mode of storytelling that is usually regarded as Correct And Trustworthy, then you get to pick and peel back each of the things they said. hold it up against their actions. the things their friends say, the things they themselves later admit, and it's still never a complete picture. nothing presented comes from a completely reliable narrator. not the characters, not even the narration itself. you have to break them down and deduce and discuss and still never have the full picture, there is always more to think about, there are always more layers to see.

they're all different degrees of aware in their self-perception and that awareness itself has different degrees of accuracy. sometimes that awareness is muddled through a separate perception of them through their ideals. it changes as they change. they understand, they repress, they dramatize and downplay and are so erringly knowing of themselves, it feels so real amongst all the utter bullshit that is homestuck itself. absolutely bonkers. real person-y thing that exists in every character everywhere to some extent but i've never been so aware of it

is layered. onion of mental illness. and when you look at them again you still see just a bunch of kids who played a game together. i think that's pretty neat

[dexaroth]

i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself

i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean

[mishkakagehishka]

My stomach hasn't stopped turrrrrning sbbsbsbssnsnsn

[daz4i]

when ww said "this is not my life, I'm no survivor, i only happened to survive"

[pilotstreets]

genuinely wish i could write like i did when i was 13 and just had fun making stories and characters that were like, objectively awful but undeniably creative and fun to write, instead of now finding it impossible to enjoy writing because nothing i make can live up to the standards i set and i feel so untalented at the craft :/

[gxtzeizm]

love how literally the ml esports talents are here calling out the misorganizing of the iesf because atp it's just totally fucked up tho

[phagodyke]

lies face down on the floor and lets out a big doglike sigh.....