#not alone a cancer patient

[hafwen]

Unsurprisingly my mom was beyond exhausted today. She didn’t know if she was having any side effects because yesterday was such a long day and terrible day plus she was so tired. She slept most of the day except for eating and going to the bathroom

[ffcrazy15]

This feels like a good time to post this for absolutely no reason at all.

"I have never laid a finger on anyone in my life, Mr Pump. I may be–– all the things you know I am, but I am not a killer! I have never so much as drawn a sword!" "No, You Have Not. But You Have Stolen, Embezzled, Defrauded And Swindled Without Discrimination, Mr Lipvig. You Have Ruined Businesses And Destroyed Jobs. When Banks Fail, It Is Seldom Bankers Who Starve. Your Actions Have Taken Money From Those Who Had Little Enough To Begin With. In A Myriad Small Ways You Have Hastened The Deaths Of Many. You Do Not Know Them. You Did Not See Them Bleed. But You Snatched Bread From Their Mouths And Tore Clothes From Their Backs. For Sport, Mr Lipvig. For Sport. For The Joy Of The Game.”

[alien-in-the-mirror]

hi everynyan i know i keep bothering you but you all know me, you know i'm a disabled and under employed trans woman in a rough spot that keeps working herself into a bigger disability to provide to her family, especially to a mother who's a cancer patient and has recently restarted treatment.

i know we're all scared for the future in this website but in my country the basic food basket for a single person sits at 400 usd and my wages aren't enough to even cover that, let alone the medication me and my mom need to live.

if you could share this post around or even help me out monetarily at all i would be immensely grateful and keep you in my heart forever

paypal: https://paypal.me/V3nusP

kofi: https://ko-fi.com/S6S6IC6X

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

There has to be some sharing or overlap of medical personnel for the other groups too, like when the Titans first started out with teenagers and grew into the bundle of heroes it is now, YJ (who probably didn't use it much for anything other than the occasional cold medicine) The various societies and leagues and branches that splinter out and all the nonsense.

Like, some of them also have to realize that some of these kids don't have that access either and are staring long and hard at their NDAs with their thumb over the call button for CPS.

Also, there would have to be doctors who had to suddenly read up on a bunch of anatomies and such to care for the plethora of Kryptonians, Martians, Tamaranians, Thanagarians, various Meta-Humans and their differing functions. Then there's the work with doctors who specialize with prosthetics to understand half the shit about Blue Beetle and the alien bug robot on his back or Cyborg in general.

A lot of people suggesting the JL would offer healthcare and now I'm curious how that would work. Idk if they'd be able to offer health insurance due to the secret identity issue so maybe they have their own clinic in space?

Remember that story about the American athletes at the Olympics. Do superheroes get their pap smear done at the watchtower bcos it's cheaper

[willgrahamscock]

No one prepares you for how crippling grief is, last year my mom died of cancer. I watched her decline so rapidly that my brain couldn't understand who I was looking at by the time she passed. I couldn't understand who I was by the time she passed because I had to become a vessel who makes appointments, dresses, nurses, cooks and an entity who does not sleep. I did it all alone. The reality is that cancer eats away at everything, it lives on even after the patient dies. It ate away at every part of me, I couldn't get out of bed, I had sleep paralysis, I couldn't stop seeing her... like that. They asked me if she's my grandmother when they carried her out of the house. She was in her early 50s. Do you understand? In 3 months, she began to look like she was 80. Everyone wanted me to move on after a month, no one called anymore, not even a text. I thought I was alone when she was alive, but this was a new type of isolation. One that I barely survived. (thank you to my mutuals and tumblr for being an outlet)

It's been a year and 6 months, today I realized she's not the first thing I think of in the morning, or the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. I couldn't even call to do paperwork before, now I'm forgetting why it was even that difficult.

The sun's out, I think i'm going to get ice cream without feeling guilty that it's not something she can do anymore.

[lunarianscorpio]

Courtship: Venus Signs (part 1)

Earth signs Desire commitment and a lasting partnership.

♑︎ Capricorn Venus:

Traits:

Loyal, protective, quietly romantic, reserved, thoughtful, and considerate in matters of love, romance, aesthetic, self-worth, and money.

Practical about themselves, understanding their worth in the material world and how others perceive them.

May appear aloof, but knows precisely what they want in a partner.

Will patiently wait for the right person who fulfills their needs and standards.

Prioritizes career or finances during single periods.

Potential imbalance if partnered with a water Mars sign, as they might yearn for love despite being comfortable alone.

Speaks highly of you, openly expressing affection and admiration.

Brings up your name in conversations, showcasing a deep pride and love.

Holds themselves to a standard of perfection, pushing for continuous improvement and sometimes feeling resentful for falling short.

Learns that self-worth is a gradual process, not a forced ascent.

Refined aesthetic taste with a strong inclination towards the arts, especially visual arts.

Enjoys concrete and physical expressions like sculpting, painting, and escaping into books.

Looks for love when it aligns with life plans and flows naturally.

Enjoys darker colors, earth tones, and may favor black without flashy appearances.

Dresses in a reserved, chic, professional, or vintage-inspired manner.

Appreciates rich earthy smells like coffee grounds, vetiver, and rainy woods, as well as clean spicy scents.

Loves food, particularly rich dishes with sentimental value.

Very good with money, enjoys it, and doesn't require much assistance.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to corporate types, mysterious, closed off, enigmatic, classy, and practical individuals.

May be drawn to businessmen, morticians, older people, architects, and mystics, venus in taurus, virgo, capricorn, scorpio & aquarius.

Romantic Behavior:

Takes love seriously with a guarded heart, feeling deeply in love.

Very romantic but often feels like gestures aren't sufficient, leading to inaction.

Shy and rarely flirts, but when they do it's straightforward and to the point.

Indicators of interest include trying to impress through achievements or appearance changes.

Finds dating challenging and tends to avoid it.

In relationships, seeks reassurance of worth, cherishment, and likes to be in charge but remains loyal for the long haul.

♉︎Taurus Venus:

Traits:

Intense, sweet, amorous, dependable, highly romantic, and artistic in matters of money, self-worth, and relationships.

Struggle with self-worth, often comparing themselves to a mental aesthetic and others' looks; need to recognize and appreciate their internal and external beauty.

Enjoys various creative pursuits, particularly art in all its forms, including poetry and fashion; may also have a love for cooking and music.

Craves pampering and security for genuine romantic love.

Adores style and cultivates a unique, expressive fashion sense rather than following trends.

Good with colors, with a preference for all colors, avoiding overly loud or aggressive shades.

Prefers luxurious and flavorful foods, often indulging in sweets; enjoys rich and intoxicating smells like vetiver and Spanish moss.

Envisions an ideal partner but may find it challenging to meet someone worthy.

Values luxury and comfort in relationships.

Willing to test suitors to identify the one truly devoted to love.

Surprisingly, adept at managing money; understands when to save and when to spend, with purchases typically substantial.

Attraction Preferences:

Looks for well-dressed, classy, debonair, and sturdy individuals who are reliable and appealing; may also be drawn to the starving artist.

Finds bankers, farmers, businesspeople, artists, singers, and chefs interesting romantically, as well as venus in capricorn, taurus, virgo, pisces and cancer.

Romantic Approach:

Shy and reticent in matters of the heart due to intense and deep feelings of love.

Signs of a Venus in Taurus crush include becoming soft-spoken, gentle, touchy, or direct stares.

Prefers silent coaxing and seduction, often not outwardly showing intentions but putting extra effort into appearance.

Enjoys giving little gifts and favors to catch someone's attention.

Loves being pursued, feeling special, and indulging in classical romance with all senses involved.

Like Capricorn, can wait patiently for the right match.

Envisions a future with you and strives to bring joy into your life.

Unable and unwilling to imagine a moment without you, showcasing deep emotional attachment

Craves physicality, contact, and commitment for a stable relationship; highly responsive and respects differences to achieve a harmonious equilibrium

♍︎ Virgo Venus:

Traits:

Analytical, helpful, idealistic, altruistic, and witty in dealing with aesthetic, self-worth, money, relationships, and romance.

Struggles with self-worth due to intense analysis of aesthetic and high expectations for perfection in artistic endeavors.

Needs to learn self-love by embracing flaws as part of the mortal experience.

May avoid Venusian activities out of fear of not being good enough, despite possessing skills in art, especially in sculpting, painting, gardening, and fitness.

Enjoys soft colors reminiscent of spring, woody browns, and greens.

Dresses in a conservative and professional style, conveying their identity concisely.

Prefers smells associated with comfort, cleanliness, citrus, vanilla, or fresh sheets.

Health-conscious and selective about food, considering taste and health reasons.

Analytical and good with money, excelling in facts, figures, and understanding the monetary value.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to practical, healing, intelligent, logical, and detail-oriented individuals.

Finds mechanics, scientists, doctors, researchers, and teachers attractive, venus in taurus, capricorn, virgo, cancer & scorpio.

Romantic Approach:

Shy and hesitant to initiate, prefers being pursued in romantic relationships.

Not inclined towards overt displays of affection or emotional expressions.

Tests partners subtly for devotion; silently contemplates moving on if betrayed.

Displays profound kindness, aiming to enhance your days with subtle yet impactful gestures.

May struggle with dating due to the ability to magnify minor flaws in others.

Indicates a crush by offering help with projects or problems, showing a genuine desire to assist.

Craves deep unconditional love and struggles with criticism due to self-critique.

Needs reassurance and to be cherished, emphasizing the existence of perfection through love.

Fire Signs: Seek thrill and excitement, desire an intoxicating romance.

♐Sagittarius Venus:

Traits:

Happy-go-lucky, adventurous, moralistic, and charitable in matters of self-worth, love, money, aesthetic, and romance.

Generally maintains a healthy self-worth with contagious perky confidence.

Enjoys flirting, playing the field, and has a childlike spirit, but must avoid becoming overly cocky.

Fondness for literature, poetry, spoken arts, and may engage in creative pursuits like music.

Views love as a game for entertainment.

Needs freedom; relationship flourishes with the right balance.

Prone to boredom and drawn to creative, unattainable partners.

Loves games, including sports or video games.

Looks for love randomly but avoids feeling tied down, keeping options open during the search.

Enjoys dramatic and vibrant colors that evoke a happy or jovial vibe.

Dresses in a comfortable and interesting sporty or hippy-esque manner.

Willing to compromise, recognizing the importance of give-and-take in maintaining the relationship.

Prioritizes the relationship over the desire for control.

Finds mentally stimulating and "foreign" foods delightful, especially spicy dishes.

Prefers earthy and floral smells, like fresh-cut flowers.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to different, free-thinking, scholarly, and jocular individuals.

May be drawn to professors, older people, athletes, large individuals, or sages, venus in sagittarius, leo, aries, aquarius and gemini.

Romantic Approach:

Doesn't take love too seriously and sees it as something to be enjoyed.

Expresses crush openly or tries to make the person laugh if attracted.

Enjoys dating, meeting new people, and tends to grow infatuated quickly.

Needs space and time to feel independent in romance.

Requires expansive and big gestures for true fulfillment.

Dislikes clichés, dense individuals, and clinginess.

Seeks a partner in crime and confidant for genuine engagement in a relationship.

♈︎Aries Venus:

Traits:

Pioneering, vivacious, unapologetic, and feisty in matters of self-worth, style, money, and relationships.

Healthy self-worth, with Venus influencing interests and self-definition.

In the arts for making striking, edgy statements rather than adhering to traditional beauty standards.

Fond of debate and mental combat; values independence and security for genuine love.

Striking style, athletic/provocative appearance, or an appearance that appears indifferent.

Fondness for warm colors and simple, comfortable fabrics; may enjoy spicy food and earthy smells.

Not overly concerned with money, views it as a necessity; can spend on expensive hobbies and toys.

Attraction Preferences:

Looks for spontaneous, fun-loving, extroverted, and exciting lovers; may find quiet but in-control individuals appealing.

Attracted to athletes, soldiers, mechanics (technical thinking), rebels, lawyers, construction workers, and rough individuals romantically and physically, venus in aries, leo, sagittarius, aquarius and gemini.

Romantic Approach:

Driven, direct, and open in the arena of love; willing to try anything once.

Sign of a Venus in Aries crush is teasing in good fun; loves to show off and impress the object of affection.

Enjoys the chase and seduction, though may grow bored quickly; awkwardly romantic and wants to pamper loved ones.

Enjoys the chase but may get bored once the conquest is achieved.

Requires physical and mental stimulation to stay in love.

In relationships, desires independence and control; dislikes being told what to do or competing.

Needy romantically, vocal, and somewhat pushy in expressing desires; values feeling appreciated and being treated as number one.

Reveals their vulnerable sides to you, emphasizing transparency and reciprocity.

Demonstrates an all-encompassing love once they've truly embraced their feelings for you.

♌︎Leo Venus:

Traits:

Bright, magnanimous, fun-loving, romantic, and superfluous in matters of self-worth, love, relationships, money, and aesthetic.

Self-worth can vary from low to overly high, often compensating and may appear arrogant.

Requires constant reassurance of self-value, sensitive to insults, and hides struggles behind a smile.

Enjoys the arts, excelling in activities where they can be in the spotlight, including sports and physical activities.

Seeks love when feeling unappreciated but waits for genuine needs.

Dresses in a sporty, casual, flashy, professional, or debonair style with a fondness for bright colors, gold, red, and occasionally black.

Enjoys giving attention and expects occasional reciprocity.

May become overwhelming when self-absorbed, needs grounding.

Loves spicy aromas, such as cinnamon, cardamom, and clove, as well as smooth scents like vanilla.

Enjoys indulging in various foods, especially childlike treats.

May spend generously, particularly for the enjoyment of others, requiring assistance in budgeting.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to showy, artistic, athletic, charismatic, and powerful individuals.

Loves glamour and grandiose declarations in relationships.

Seeks a loyal and committed partner who enhances their ego.

May find appeal in bosses, artists, actors, soldiers, royalty archetypes, and athletes.

Romantic Approach:

Goes all out in love, courting, pursuing, and wooing simultaneously.

Enjoys spectacular romance and is not shy about dating or the dating scene.

Expresses interest by going out of their way to impress and compliment, may straightforwardly communicate their feelings.

Desires to be treated like royalty, pampered, and made to feel special.

Expects reciprocity in passion, intensity, and drama to keep the relationship fresh.

Dislikes feeling unimportant and needs consistent expressions of love, yet maintains independence.

Water Signs: Seek a fairy tale romance, searching for a Prince or Princess.

♓︎Pisces Venus:

Traits:

Dreamy, romantic, loving, creative, and fantastical in matters of love, self-worth, money, relationships, and aesthetics.

May have a deluded sense of self, occasionally needing help to see themselves clearly.

Shy but enjoys occasional flirtation, especially in a playful context.

Attentively listens and remembers your words, valuing communication as a way to understand and love you better.

Enjoys hearing you talk, using it as an opportunity to deepen their understanding of you.

Enjoys art, particularly music, dance, and literature.

Often seeks love, viewing themselves as a part of a whole, searching for a profound connection.

Shy in pursuing but makes subtle gestures to be closer.

Needs to occasionally be more selfish in relationships.

Vulnerable to being taken advantage of due to an overly loving nature.

Loves colors reminiscent of the ocean and the sky, including dark to light blues, greens, purples, and black.

Fashion style can vary from free-flowing, ocean-breeze attire to trendy runway looks or understated appearances to avoid attention.

Enjoys aromas like the ocean, fruit, and candy.

Has a big appetite and loves seafood, sugary sweets, and food from different cultures.

Not overly materialistic but acquires money effortlessly, often spending it on loved ones.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to mystical, aloof, artistic, emotionally expressive, and structured individuals.

Compatibility with sailors, psychics, healers, artists, or therapists, venus in pisces, cancer, scorpio and maybe taurus.

Romantic Behavior:

Shy yet not afraid to initiate romantic gestures.

Signs of interest include leaving messages unread (a commitment test) and engaging in deep conversations beyond typical bedtime hours.

Prefers soulmate connections over casual dating.

Needs lots of love, affection, and care in a relationship.

Dislikes being perceived as overly dependent and can be disillusioned if their idealized image of a loved one shatters.

♋︎Cancer Venus:

Traits:

Affectionate, sentimental, sweet, romantic, and receptive in matters of self-worth, money, style, aesthetic, partnership, and love.

Healthy self-worth usually influenced by family perceptions and upbringing.

Tendency to become engrossed in memories, potentially distorting them, leading to psychic disharmony.

Enjoys emotionally fulfilling hobbies such as reading, acting, cooking, baking, gardening, and finds stimulation in architecture or interior design.

Looks for settling-down material in love, avoiding games.

Assumes the role of the nurturing mother in relationships.

Magnetic and alluring, attracts partners effortlessly.

Analyzes and evaluates relationships; values security and harmony.

Style may not always be fashionable but holds value and meaning, either following family styles or changing frequently to keep up with trends.

Fondness for pastels, silver shades, especially purple and blue, preferring a dapper look without being overly flashy.

Delighted by scents from home, ocean breeze, or a forest after rain, with a preference for earthy and fruity smells.

Loves cooking and food, attached to traditional dishes, with a craving for sweets and creamy treats.

Excellent with money, skilled in investment and business ownership.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to emotional, trustworthy, familiar, and loving individuals.

May also be drawn to sailors, travelers, royalty archetypes, poets, bodybuilders, and comedians, venus in cancer, scorpio, pisces, taurus and virgo.

Romantic Approach:

Shy but can pursue if necessary, values traditional romance and believes in love traditions like meeting the spouse's family.

Takes relationships seriously, finds letting go challenging.

Signs of a crush include blushing, bashfulness, attempts to talk, and revealing something emotional

Will push back if being used, prioritizes home harmony.

Invests considerable time in your company, fostering comfort and mutual ease.

Their presence brings a soothing calmness, contributing to a deep sense of connection.

Desires a fairy tale experience, appreciates sentimental mementos, and values cherishing shared memories.

Craves emotionality and feels hurt if emotions are disregarded, but can become clingy and manipulative if not moderated.

Extremely loyal and willing to weather the storm, not easily bored.

♏︎Scorpio Venus:

Traits:

Possessive, secretive, romantic, intense, loving, and creative in matters of self-worth, money, love, relationships, and mystique.

Tendency for relatively low self-worth, feeling unattractive, and presenting a facade to compensate, emphasizing the seriousness of love.

Craves cherishment and security for a safe and healthy self-worth.

Subconscious and energetically seductive, attracting both desired and unwanted things.

Displays creativity, viewing destruction as a form of creation, especially in music or activities involving breaking and destroying things.

Enjoys sports, video games, and may have various artistic talents.

Desires to merge and feel complete, often seeking love but may struggle when needing support.

Appreciates a variety of colors, with greens, purples, and blues drawing particular interest.

Dresses in a sporty, dark, artsy, or blending-in manner.

Prefers hypnotic and deep smells like dark chocolate, wine, and musky sea scents.

Enjoys spicy foods and exotic tastes that mentally and physically engage them.

Skilled with money and investing.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to intriguing, mysterious, closed-off, powerful, and emotionally intense individuals.

May find interest in surgeons, doctors, researchers, mystics, sailors, and chemists, venus scorpio, cancer, pisces, capricorn and virgo.

Romantic Approach:

Takes love seriously, aiming to make their significant other happy even if not overtly romantic.

Signs of a crush may include slight rudeness or playful power games, seeking attention harmlessly

Tests partners to determine worth, with potential psychological challenges.

Struggles to trust, but deepens emotionally when in love.

Sensitive to your emotions, quick to notice when you're feeling down.

Focuses on understanding and meeting your love language needs, especially during challenging times.

Serious about love, dating can be challenging.

Needs a partner who understands the intensity of their passions, values trust, and avoids deception.

Loyal and committed once invested in a relationship.

Air Signs: Seek innovators and intellectual connection in romance.

♒Aquarius Venus:

Traits:

Impersonal, creative, original, universal, and shocking in matters of relationships, love, aesthetic, self-worth, and money.

Usually has a healthy, if not detached, self-worth.

May distance themselves from the concept of "the self," which could be psychologically challenging.

Friendly and may unintentionally flirt; aesthetic taste is intriguing, embracing individuality and the arts.

Finds beauty in dreamy, surreal colors like pastels and neons.

Enjoys music, visual arts, poetry, and activities involving the mind like video games.

Looks for love when feeling a lack of a true community and seeks one-on-one connections.

Dress style may be striking, eclectic, modern, or fitting a group aesthetic with a hint of a hippy flair.

Enjoys scents like the ocean, clean, light, breezy, and sweet aromas like cotton candy.

Appreciates complex and unique flavors for mental stimulation.

Good with money but prone to sudden spending sprees.

Preferences in Others:

Likes individuals who are aloof, idiosyncratic, distant, unattainable, intelligent, and humanitarian.

Attracted to musicians, scientists, researchers, astrologers/mystics, and philanthropists, venus in aquarius, gemini, libra, aries and saggitarius.

Romantic Behavior:

Cerebral about love but values its importance.

Indicators of interest are sporadic and confusing, ranging from acting like you don't exist to wanting to hang out.

Struggles with the balance between independence and craving companionship

Craves stability and loyalty despite a logical façade.

Expresses feelings through late-night texts, sharing thoughts they might hesitate to say in person.

Fickle in courtship; captivates with eccentricities.

Values freedom, loyalty, and stability; may become depressed without them.

Not particularly fond of dating and may see it as a waste of time.

In a relationship, seeks reliability paired with excitement and random, unexpected events.

Once committed, tends to stay, being a fixed sign.

♊︎Gemini Venus:

Traits:

Charming, poetic, sociable, witty, and cunning in matters of self-worth, love, aesthetic, finances, and relationships.

Self-worth tied to communication skills and fitting into the community, needing to learn that being liked doesn't equate to true beauty.

Enjoys various creative pursuits, including dance, music, poetry, and a genuine love for conversation; may also have a fondness for sports.

Requires stimulation in a relationship, finds love more fun than necessary.

Trendy in fashion, stylish, adaptable to changing trends; values fashion as a form of communication.

Likes bright colors, especially various shades of blues, and tends to shy away from dark colors.

Enjoys a variety of food, likes to be intellectually engaged with what they eat, with a fondness for sour and childlike sweet foods.

Attracted to citrusy, sharp, and clean smells, such as fresh sheets.

Doesn't overly focus on money, invests well, and can be impulsive with hobbies or travel urges

Thrives on communication; requires mental stimulation.

Loses interest if not intellectually engaged.

Easily uses people for temporary connections until captivated elsewhere.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to intellectual, well-informed, sporty, suave, and aesthetically pleasing individuals; may appreciate the "wholesome person next door" aesthetics.

Finds PR people, librarians, professors, bosses, writers, actors, athletes, or local individuals attractive, compatible with venus in aquarius, gemini, libra, sagittarius & aries.

Romantic Approach:

Flirty, fun-loving, and eager in romantic relationships.

Displays goofiness or attempts to make the other person laugh when they have a crush.

Enjoys intellectual play and wants a partner who can match their quickness.

Thrives on humor, eureka moments, and engagement of the mind.

Enjoys the thrill of the chase but may grow bored with monotony; long-distance relationships can work well.

Loves learning about their partner, so keeping them guessing and engaged is crucial.

♎Libra Venus:

Traits:

Harmonious, diplomatic, balanced, romantic, and idealistic in self-worth, money, love, and relationships.

Self-worth is influenced by how others treat them, seeking approval and universal love, but can struggle with feeling not good enough.

Needs to learn self-love and not rely solely on others for integral well-being.

Enjoys flirting and charm, finding exhilaration in social interactions and fun with potential mates and friends.

Naturally gifted in the arts, excelling in fashion, architecture, and textiles.

Actively looks for love, deeming it important and feeling lonely without it.

Ruled by Venus; loves beauty, luxury, comfort, and diplomacy.

Attracts potential partners effortlessly due to appealing qualities.Has varied color preferences based on cultural definitions of balance, avoiding reactions in people.

Trendy and hip in dressing, adapting to current aesthetics without growing overly fond of styles.

Enjoys bright, sunny smells like orange and mango, along with fruity, gentle, and sugary scents.

Adores sweet foods, indulges the senses, and may overspend on luxuries, requiring help in budgeting.

Attraction Preferences:

Attracted to polite, intelligent, artistic, and politically savvy individuals.

May find interest in lawyers, decorators, doctors, venus in libra, gemini, aquarius, leo and sagittarius.

Romantic Approach:

Ruled by social convention, enjoys romantic gestures seen in movies and media.

Can be passive romantically but enjoys playing cat and mouse games, flirting, and having fun, even if shyly.

Signs of a crush include compliments, offers to help, and extending invitations to social events.

Needs a fun, light, and very romantic partner to feel complete.

Values trust in friends and lovers, seeking someone to share both joy and dark times

May withdraw if harmony is disrupted; values care and nurturing.

Can harbor deep rage if pushed to the limit in a toxic relationship.

Communicates emotions through their eyes, conveying the depth of their love without words.

Enjoys the dating scene, finding joy in getting to know potential partners.

Dislikes crass or unpleasant partners who embarrass them.

Lives in a realm of pure ideals, exhibiting prince/princess charming-like qualities.

[how-the-feathers-have-fallen]

Dumping the start of the tags here cause tumblr has a tag limit of 30 :/ sorry op

Okay hold on

also more things I couldn't fit in. after cuddy bails out choreman chase gets assigned a bunch of clinic hours as Punishment TM. But mom-dad wilson (house is dad-mom) keeps him company till house gets angsty and comes to bail him out pick him up.

More I couldn't fit in at the end so I dumped here outta order:

wilson teahces the ducklings to paint since obvi house passed down his musical talents

rich kid chase got assigned clarinet at age 6. he's ok but has 0 heart. house jokingly points him towards a lyre in a music shop and he takes to it instantly. house go to tease him (baby angel lookin-) but chase looks so overjoyed and he says something like "look just like David played for Saul" so he melts on the spot (and convinces wilson to by him a kinnor so he doesn't know its his idea. he sings like a screeching alterboy tho)

I think cameron can sing but she's quiet and stumbles so she refuses to get formal training. she's tear rendering on a cello tho. surprisingly she can dj like all hell too. she had a wild college life before her 1st husband

foreman can sing smooth as silk. but he can't play an instrument to save his life (no patient for it). his dancing though? stage worthy. can be convinced to show off after a couple drinks.

Obsessed with the whole vibes of early season one of House. The ducklings have the energy of dysfunctional siblings along with their insane Vicodin-addict father. Wilson isn’t shown to have an office yet so he just lingers at House’s side while constantly and giving him fuck-me eyes. Wilson will just sit in on diagnoses and give his advice like he doesn’t have any responsibilities in the world. When the team needs to (illegally) shrink a patient’s tumor so it’s small enough to operate on, Wilson just says “alright” and does it along with Cameron. Chase does a silly American accent to fool a patient’s mother and it WORKS. Foreman is new and already despises everyone. House comments on how fuckable Wilson looks when Wilson is simply wearing a green tie and nice shoes. An old woman says that House has the same bedroom eyes as Ashton Kutcher. At one point the team, House, Wilson, and Cuddy all gather together in the small lab room to discuss a patient and are all basically brushing shoulders. Wilson reads a love poem out loud in the middle of the hospital to House. House eats tomato sauce that the team suspected was killing the patient. Wilson ditches his wife on Christmas Eve to go hang out with House and it shows a montage of them laughing and eating take-out. Cuddy greets House and Wilson by saying “hi, boys” like they’re kids. Foreman and Cameron are tasked to search a patient’s home and Foreman eats the ham he found in their fridge because he was hungry. The first scene with House shows him and Wilson walking down the hallway literally brushing hands and shoulders despite the hallway being huge. One of the first things Wilson does is lie to House. Wilson asks House — who rarely ever takes cases unless he finds them really interesting — to take a case and House just takes it. When asked why it was so easy, House just looks at Wilson with a smirk and says “you know why” and then they both smile at each other. This is all in the span of the first eight episodes.

[she-is-ovarit]

Elders, seniors, "old people"... they are going through:

Witnessing their classmates, best friends, significant others, loved ones die at an unsettling pace.

Being isolated.

Experiencing frightening and invasive health issues.

Being reminded repeatedly in their daily lives that they are closer to dying than most people.

Wondering if they'll be abused in nursing homes.

Wondering if some day they'll get cancer or Alzheimers.

Their children and the younger generation treating them with impatience and as if they are stupid despite them living through generations of history.

Being completely disregarded and devalued by broader society.

Psychologically trying to work towards acceptance of age and deteriorating health.

Wondering if they'll end up in a nursing home with no visits from loved ones.

Ending up in a nursing home, often uprooted from where they've lived for years.

Being unable to live independently.

Becoming severely disabled

Being abused in private.

Being completely ignored by those they depend on for care.

Having to navigate wills for the first time and choosing what to give to whom, minding family member needs and dynamics in addition to legalese.

Being taken advantage of and scammed through technology and processes that confuse them.

Experiencing memory lapses and confusion, often alone.

Struggling to communicate.

Being treated and percieved as "outdated".

Having to quit jobs they've loved.

Sometimes coming to the realization that they're not able to take care of their pet.

Experiencing losing their bladders and the embarrassment and shame that comes with it.

Having no mentors anymore.

The least we can do is listen, be patient, and not cast them aside. They have less time than most of us on this earth and they are choosing to spend some of it with us.

[novy2sirius]

₊˚⊹ astrology notes volume five

─ .✧ tuts if you need them

─ .✧ these are based on isolated placements, so take it with a grain of salt since your entire chart matters. these are mostly based on western astrology

─ .✧ this time around a lot of these are just random opinions and not based on literal facts

˖༉ your pisces and 12h placements can show what area of life you’re spiritually protected in. an example: having a pisces mars can mean you are spiritually protected well when others hurt you or hate on you and that someone can get really bad karma for doing so

˖༉ aquarius' are so obsessed with what they can’t have or just doing the opposite of what people tell them to do. if you tell them to leave you alone, they’ll want you more. if you tell they can’t do something, they’ll wanna do it more. if you tell them they shouldn’t sky dive without a parachute, they will

˖༉ the midheaven is so important when it comes to your life’s purpose. not just the north node. for example: a capricorn midheaven is meant to work hard and become wealthy or at the very least successful in some way

˖༉ leo’s are known for being the “popular ones” of the zodiac signs, but cancer's are often very popular too. the moon is always shining bright in the sky just like the sun. it’s also why cancer placements crave lots of attention

˖༉ because of numerology capricorn and aries are an amazing pairing, even though astrologically based on their elements they aren’t. i sometimes find the letterology of the signs to have more accuracy when discussing compatibility

˖༉ the descendant can tell about the qualities you like in others. for example: an aquarius descendant can indicate you like others that are super weird/unique and are free spirits that make everyone feel like they can be themselves

˖༉ when at a lower vibration taurus placements will apologize and then continue to do the thing that they already apologized for. they may also know they’re in the wrong yet still argue their point

˖༉ pisces and 12h placements usually find it very difficult to quit bad habits. especially if they’re a pisces moon or have their moon in the 12h

˖༉ everyone says scorpios are loyal, but i’ve noticed that they won’t be if you don’t play by their rules. sometimes if you cheat, they’ll cheat

˖༉ nobody really talks about it but sags are huge flirts. sometimes they’re players though. i would go as far as to say they sometimes have better game than libras

˖༉ when discussing elements then aries and libra would technically be compatible, but numerically they’re not at all. they’re fatally attracted to one another and libra energy really admires aries energy, but they shouldn’t be together

˖༉ people with 5h stelliums enjoy being busy a lot and constantly doing things. sitting around too much will make them feel depressed. they aren’t usually huge homebody’s unless they have a lot of water in their chart

˖༉ i like cancer placements don’t get me wrong but at times they can come off really cheesy or corny with some of the things they say

˖༉ taurus and 2h placements like to act tough on the outside but often they are actually hurting on the inside. they’re very sensitive and take things to heart

˖༉ aries and aquarius’ often end up in romantic relationships together. aries are most compatible with aquarius’ compared to other signs

˖༉ your capricorn placements can tell you what area of life you will need lots of patience in. example: a capricorn venus indicates you need to be very patient with your loved ones

[elysiansparadise]

Hello, thank you so much for all the work you put into creating composite observations (and all your other observations honestly). They really are insightful and I love how you always insert an encouraging perspective even when you mention the potential challenges.

I noticed that you made a post on stelliums in the houses of a composite chart. May you also make a post on zodiac sign stelliums in the composite chart as well please? I have a scorpio stellium in my composite chart with my partner and I would love to read your perspective on this! <3

Hello love! I appreciate your words so much, they mean a lot. Thank you very much for your suggestion, I would love to talk about it!

Stelliums in the composite chart

🖤══ Stellium in Aries ══🖤

This relationship can be very active, dynamic and focused on action, there is much you want to do together and many things you want to achieve as a couple. They are not afraid to take risks together and can feel more confident and determined with each other. They are certain of the relationship and that it is the other person they want to be with. Loving, intense and passionate, they will be authentic and uninhibited. The relationship can be marked by independence and the need to maintain a strong individual identity within the relationship, they will never take away the other's time alone. This relationship could have happened very quickly and spontaneously.

🖤══ Stellium in Taurus ══🖤

Both parties want that the relationship abounds in stability, security and pleasure. They are focused on making the relationship comfortable and enjoyable for both and they are easy to be patient with each other and try to understand them. They have the ability to create a solid foundation for a lasting, supportive and loving relationship. They are naturally gentle with each other and seek to provide for each other in every way. Both are very determined in the relationship, they are constant in their affections and adore physical closeness to each other. A lot of loyalty and reliability between them. Tendency to pamper the other. They prefer that the relationship arise naturally and at their own pace.

🖤══ Stellium in Gemini ══🖤

In this relationship, both focus on fluid communication, they seek to learn and share a lot with the other, both about themselves and the things they experience. They both enjoy variety and exploring new ideas together. In addition, they will seek to keep things interesting and entertaining by being a couple that does not fall into monotony and predictability. They will have a huge and genuine interest in each other, wanting to get to know each other as much as possible. Dynamic, interesting, but also deep conversations, this couple will want to create a space where both can speak their minds without feeling judged. Both can feel very attracted to the other's way of thinking, as well as very mentally stimulated.

🖤══ Stellium in Cancer ══🖤

They are focused on making the relationship a safe place for each other where they can allow themselves to be vulnerable and feel loved. A very emotional relationship, full of care, adoration and mutual kindness. They both feel that it is very easy to be expressive with each other and they can connect very well emotionally and in terms of their personality. Both will want to understand the emotional needs of the other and do their best to meet them. A very intimate, private relationship in which they want to support each other emotionally and take care of each other. They awaken the sensitive and loving side of each other. They tend to prefer domestic plans or those in which there are only the two of them alone.

🖤══ Stellium in Leo ══🖤

They feel the freedom of being authentic and themselves, seeking to cherish others for it. They keep things fun and dynamic with each other, they are loving, very expressive and playful. They will focus on being very demonstrative with the love and appreciation they feel for each other, they will never leave room for doubt. They will make many romantic plans where they make the other the protagonist. There is a desire to shine together, to praise each other and make them feel the most special in their lives. Generous, loyal and emotionally intense with each other. This relationship may be one of the biggest priorities for the other. They will seek fun, abound in warmth, and fiercely love and protect each other.

🖤══ Stellium in Virgo ══🖤

In this relationship, support for the other will abound, they will want to be there with the other through thick and thin. A genuine desire to be each other's shoulder, they will constantly seek to improve individually to make way for an improvement in the relationship. Efforts, details and stability. They will want the relationship to be healthy, one in which the other feels calm, supported and loved. Both will be attentive to the other, they will listen to and reassure each other. Their displays of affection will be focused on actions, preferring that they speak louder than words. They will have small details with each other as reminders of the affection they have for each other. They enjoy planning things together, from dates to activities to do together.

🖤══ Stellium in Libra ══🖤

Both actively seek harmony, the mental and emotional well-being of the other and that things are fair for both. Both want to maintain peace and avoid conflict, working together to find solutions instead of making the dispute more serious. A lot of romance, adoration and a taste for both the physique and the emotions of the other. Both have the willingness to commit. They focus on clear communication where they speak and listen to each other equally. The affection and respect for each other is enormous and noticeable both for themselves and for others. Many displays of affection bring out the most loving side of the other. They seek to work together in the relationship.

🖤══ Stellium in Scorpio ══🖤

Both will want this relationship to be something deep, meaningful and intense. They will want to know everything about each other, from the lightest to the darkest sides of their personality. A strong devotion and loyalty towards the other, they will be very honest with the other. Their love will be intense, passionate and they will want to adore and worship every part of their partner. They not only look for lighthearted emotions, they long to dive very deep into the emotions of the other, to know them like no one has ever been able to. Strong magnetism and attraction towards each other, they feel attracted like magnets. Willing to face any obstacle together.

🖤══ Stellium in Sagittarius ══🖤

This couple will seek to explore a lot alongside each other, not only in the sense of travel or experiences, but also explore aspects of relationships that catch their attention. You will feel dynamic and very motivated with each other, things will seem to become more positive. They will learn a lot next to each other and teach each other a lot. They will want to enjoy life next to each other, they will let themselves go with each other and focus on having a good time together. Independent, fearless and with a desire to grow a lot alongside each other. They will live many adventures together, they will be motivated to dare to try new things and do everything they ever dreamed of. 

🖤══ Stellium in Capricorn ══🖤

There is a strong sense of commitment and responsibility. This couple will take their union very seriously, focusing on building a solid and lasting foundation backed by trust, loyalty and constant dedication. Both have a clear focus on long-term goals, especially those that concern the relationship. Together they work toward common goals and support each other's ambitions of all kinds. Both desire stability and security, working towards the idea of ​​creating a stable and secure life together, both emotionally and in other areas.  The relationship and the comfort/well-being of the other is of utmost importance to both parties. What they care about takes time and dedication, and they do not hesitate to give their all in this connection.

🖤══ Stellium in Aquarius ══🖤

They both see themselves as equals and value each other's independence and freedom. They love the idea of ​​spending time together, sharing their thoughts, ideas and occurrences with each other. Both are very accepting of the other and do not intend to change the other, on the contrary, they will love and appreciate them just for being who they are. They may have many interests in common and connect in a unique way with each other. This relationship came out of nowhere and unexpectedly. They will not put expectations on each other and will simply flow together. A fun, entertaining relationship like nothing they have ever had before. Empathic and supportive of the other.

🖤══ Stellium in Pisces ══🖤

It is possible that both feel that they have a deep spiritual bond, in addition, they can easily understand each other without the need for words. They awaken the tenderness, devotion and affection of others very easily. This relationship will not be superficial and can even be healing in the sense that you can feel better with each other's presence. They have a genuine desire to understand and support each other's emotional needs, creating an environment of unconditional love and acceptance. Romanticism, creativity and gentleness between both. This couple will dream of a future next to each other and will fantasize about moments together.

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Mother Jones:

When a man with painful cystic acne came to dermatologist Eva Rawlings Parker for help in a Nashville clinic, she couldn’t prescribe him doxycycline or minocycline, two medications she’d typically use to treat this condition. This is because the man was a roofer, says Parker, and these medications would have impacted his ability to tolerate heat. 

Parker’s patient was far from alone. Other common medications for physical health, like beta blockers, can impact people’s ability to handle heat. Many medications for mental health do, too.

Conventional wisdom tells people with conditions that make them unusually vulnerable to the sun, like the autoimmune disorder lupus, or are on medications that lead to heat sensitivity, to avoid staying outside when the sun is at its strongest.

But for the one-third of US workers who must spend regular time outdoors, that advice bursts into flames. For some, such as farmworkers, hours and hours of heat exposure, with minimal or no reprieve, are just part of the job. Increasing heat waves and more frequent wildfires point to the need to find real solutions for outdoor workers—and highlight how labor and climate change are intertwined. 

Edward Flores, faculty director of the Community and Labor Center at the University of California, Merced, specializes in the conditions of low-wage and immigrant workers in California. He says the need for heat safety policy reform is acute. “We know that workers have been dying,” Flores says, “because of chronic conditions that accumulate through heat stress over many years and decades that lead to shorter life spans.”

Parker, the dermatologist, is acutely aware of how heat can trigger or worsen skin problems. She is co-chair of the American Academy of Dermatology’s group on climate change and environmental issues, and was an author of a 2023 review on the ways climate change can contribute to dermatological issues, including triggering flares of conditions like hidradenitis suppurativa—which causes painful lumps deep in a person’s skin—and skin cancer.

Workers do have some legal rights to breaks and water, depending on the locale. California, Oregon, and Washington are the only states that mandate those breaks. And roughly half of crop farmworkers have no legal work authorization. That lack of legal status, and the threat of deportation, gives many workers reason to fear complaining about working conditions.

In July, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration proposed a new set of rules which would help protect more than 36 million workers from heat-related illness or death. The proposed OSHA rules would require employers to monitor their workers for heat exhaustion symptoms, provide adequate water and shade, designate break areas, and provide mandatory rest breaks, among other things. 

[vigilante-3073]

Wilson with an intern f!reader imagine maybe? 🤍

Internships & Relationships

James Wilson x Female Intern Reader

Summary: Wilson takes on a medical intern and the lines of professionalism begin to blur.

TW: Workplace relationships, inappropriate jokes.

James Wilson had a medical intern. He didn't usually take on interns and he had a very good reason for it. That reason was his best friend, Doctor Gregory House. House was a walking HR violation and would likely scar whatever poor intern he came across.

Cuddy was reluctant to bring the offer of an intern to Wilson at first. She knew that he was extraordinarily good at his job, but House already commandeered the majority of Wilson's time.

House was a loose cannon that could not be controlled, but Wilson hoped that it wouldn't ruin this apiring Oncologist's experience. Wilson agreed and Y/N started her 8-week long internship with him the following day. She worked alongside him, sitting in on meetings and looking after his patients. Y/N was an amazing doctor and she got along swimmingly with hospital staff.

Wilson knew that she would be an excellent Oncologist and that her patients would be given the best possible treatment.

Cancer was dehumanizing and Y/N understood that. She didn't beat around the bush, but she also had the ability to relay news in a way that made sure her patients understood. Y/N was extraordinary with a light within her that needed to be protected, which is exactly why he had been hiding her from House.

By the sixth week of her internship, keeping her away from House had become exhausting. The man may have had a limp, but he was certainly tenacious enough to figure out what Wilson was hiding.

...

Wilson stepped into his office with Y/N following closely behind him. They had been seeing patients all day long and were finally going to take a moment to go over some patient files.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" House questioned, spinning around in Wilson's desk chair to face them.

Wilson sighed, "House, this is my Intern, Y/N. Y/N this is Doctor House, he's the head of Diagnostic Medicine," Wilson said.

"Nice to meet you, Doctor House," Y/N said.

House stared at her for a moment, "Wow, you are gorgeous. Up top, Wilson," House said, holding up his hand for a high-five.

Wilson shook his head, "I'm not giving you a high-five, House," He said.

House dropped his hand before sitting forward in the chair, "Tell me, you aspiring do-gooder, did you have to send in head shots to land this gig? Wilson is pretty specific about the students that he chooses to sleep with," House said.

Wilson scoffed, "You are just so out of line right now. I don't even- I am so sorry, Y/N," Wilson said.

"No, it's- It's fine, Doctor Wilson, really," Y/N assured.

"House, get out. Now," Wilson snapped.

"Fine, I'll let you two lovebirds enjoy some time alone," House said, standing up and making his way out of the office.

"I am so incredibly sorry about him. I've been trying to keep him away from you, but he's like a dog with a bone," Wilson huffed, sitting down in his desk chair.

"You don't have to worry, Doctor Wilson. Doctor Cuddy warned me about him before I started working with you," Y/N said.

"I'm so sorry... I am mortified that he would even think that was something okay to say to you," Wilson said.

"I mean, you're a very beautiful young lady and anyone would be lucky to be with you like that. I just- I'm your mentor and it would be wrong of me to take advantage of you," Wilson amended quickly.

"Doctor Wilson, we can just pretend this never happened if that would be easier," Y/N offered.

Wilson sighed, "Yeah, that would be amazing," He said.

"Consider it forgotten then," Y/N said, sitting down on one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Wilson watched her as she ordered her patient files on her lap, preparing to go over them after their morning rounds. The interaction with House didn't even seem to phase her and Wilson found himself questioning why.

Cuddy may have made her aware of House's existence before she started her placement, but no amount of preparation could get anyone ready for an interaction with House. He was abrasive, misogynistic and could be incredibly rude whenever it suited him. Y/N heard every remark he made, but they didn't seem to bother her.

Wilson certainly wouldn't be disappointed if Y/N chose to stay at Princeton-Plainsboro after she completed her schooling. He could always use some backup when it came to dealing with House.

...

The final weeks of Y/N's internship flew by and her last day was one that saddened not only the staff, but the patients too. Wilson made sure to get a cake for the occasion and gather everyone in the staff room to celebrate her accomplishment.

Y/N would be great.

There was no doubt about just how amazing she would be. Y/N cared and that would make her an extraordinary Oncologist.

They leaned back on the countertop beside each other as they both ate small pieces of cake. Wilson looked over at her, watching as she took a small bite of her slice.

"Have you given anymore thought to where you want to apply after graduation?" He asked.

"I was waiting until the end of the day to tell you, but I talked to Cuddy a few weeks ago... She actually offered me a job here," Y/N said.

Wilson turned towards her, "Please tell me that you said yes," He said.

"Of course I did," Y/N replied.

"That's amazing! Congratulations, Y/N. You're going to be great... Are you planning on staying in the Oncology department?" Wilson asked.

"I am," Y/N said.

"Really? That's awesome!" Wilson said.

"I'm looking foward to working with you, Doctor Wilson," Y/N said.

"Me too," He replied with a gentle smile.

A heavy feeling had suddenly settled in his stomach, it wasn't until a moment later when he realized what it was.

Wilson was disappointed.

He was interested in Y/N in a way that he shouldn't have been. Wilson was her superior and he would remain in that position for the forseeable future.

Wilson knew that he would never be able to be completely impartial, he always led with his heart and it tended to get him into trouble. Wilson had been walked over by House and Cuddy at times because of their relationship within the workplace. He hoped that if he still harbored these feelings for Y/N that their relationship would follow the same pattern.

If she had chosen to work somewhere else, he may have been able to cope with it, but at Princeton-Plainsboro would the limited distance overwhelm him? Or could this finally be the time he gets it right?

Before he could stop himself, he had opened his mouth and the words came tumbling out.

"Would you like to go for dinner tonight? With me?" Wilson asked.

A stunned look crossed her face and his heart began to pound in his chest. She was his student and he just asked her on a date.

"Oh, I-I'm so sorry. That was completely inappropriate and I am just so stupid for putting you on the spot," He began.

"Wilson," She said softly, he quickly closed his mouth despite wanting to explain himself further and take back his question.

"Are you asking me on a date?" Y/N questioned.

"I- Yes, I was, but you don't have to respond and I promise that I'll never bring it up again," He assured.

"I'd love to go out with you, Wilson," Y/N said.

"Really?" He asked.

She smiled, "You're a really nice guy and if I'm being honest, I've had a bit of a crush on you since I started," Y/N admitted.

Wilson huffed a laugh, "This is the best day of my life," He said.

"You can pick the place, just let me know how fancy I need to dress," Y/N said.

"Yeah, I can do that," Wilson nodded.

The door to the staff room opened, "Y/N, come here, honey. We got you a little something," One of the nurses called.

Y/N nodded, "I'll be right there," She replied, setting her plate down on the counter.

"You can feel free to take off after this," Wilson said.

"Are you sure?" Y/N questioned.

"Of course, it's your last day. Just text me your address and I'll come pick you up after I'm done here," Wilson said.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight," She smiled.

Wilson watched her walk out of the break room with a lovesick smile on his face. Little did he know that in a few short years she would become the fourth, and final, Mrs. Wilson.

[themedialmercurial]

Asteroid Glo (3267) and How you Shine🐚

This asteroid and its placements point towards the ways in which an individual naturally shines. By taking awareness of this, one can level up their life in a more naturally-occurring way, tending to their innate strengths. With dedication, it can even lead to fame ⭐️

I'm finally back with a new post! Thank you for both your patience and your kindness on this platform. I'm so glad to have joined such a kind and accepting community on here 🫶🏽

As always, do share your own placements and how you believe it has played out in your life thus far! Of course, asteroids are not as important as the natal chart itself, though it can be fun to explore, because why not? Enough chatter, more about the content:

GLO IN THE HOUSES

1H

You shine for your authenticity, your natural beauty and personality. This kind of person reminds me of someone who simply wakes and is considered to be radiant. All face. Great skin.

2H

Your personal possessions are something of interest of others, perhaps being literally shiny and even of great quality. You are perceived to be of high status as a result.

3H

Your mind is highlighted with this placement. There is something so magnetic about the way you think and communicate with others. Perhaps your learning style is innovative and an emphasis on your early education days.

4H

☆ of the family vibes? Either way, your family is a very important factor in your life and even moreso, when it comes to your mother.

5H

Your mind is highlighted, this time in terms of your creativity. Your children, pets and romantic relationships can be a source of light for your life. Also, there is an emphasis on talent.

6H

Your work ethic is likely the talk of the town, perhaps for your disciplined nature. Also, the way in which you tend to your body (diet, exercise, hygiene) can be admired.

7H

Your long-term relationships (marriage) are something that naturally draw attention. On the other hand, careful with open enemies and envy on others behalf.

8H

Your ability to transform and resilience throughout your life are truly one of a kind. Perhaps your spiritual practices draw a lot of attention.

9H

This placement points towards a life plentiful in travel experiences, upper education opportunities (college, university) and overall incessant learning in life, particular language learning and of other cultures. These qualities do not go unseen by others.

10H

Your career and your status draw in attention naturally, regardless of what it is that you do. You can be admired for your authority-like presence.

11H

Friend magnet position. You also can be a hopeful and wishful person, thus attracting even more abundance, which makes you glow even further.

12H

Your energy is unforgettable. Despite this placement being more reclusive and desiring time alone, your spiritual practices are often highlighted. Also, some of your secrets and fears may to more apparent due to the illuminating nature of this asteroid

GLO IN THE SIGNS

How can you express and optimize your natural gifts?

ARIES

Through your shameless and enthusiastic nature

TAURUS

Through your patient and artistic nature

GEMINI

Through your inquisitive, communicative and adaptable nature

CANCER

Through your emotional, nurturing nature

LEO

Through your creative and fun-loving nature

VIRGO

Through your attention to detail, precision and helpful nature

LIBRA

Through your peace-loving, diplomatic and charming nature

SCORPIO

Through your magnetic, persevering and passionate nature

SAGGITARIUS

Through your optimistic and honest nature

CAPRICORN

Through your ambitious and efficient nature

AQUARIUS

Through your independent, unique nature

PISCES

Through your empathetic, responsive, escapist nature

GLO IN ASPECT

Glo-Sun benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

You shine in your self-expression and identity. You know that you shine though it isn't an ego show, you know how to acknowledge the confidence you have in yourself

Glo-Sun malefic aspects (opposition, square)

Surplus of ego, cockiness that may not be well-received. On the other hand, this may manifest as insecurity and lack of sense of self and esteem.

Glo-Moon benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

You have a knack for expressing your feelings that others resonate with, people can feel understood when you open up (youtubers who share their intimate mental health struggles come to mind).

Glo-Moon malefic aspects (opposition, square)

May manifest as emotional outbursts if not careful (breakdowns, surges of anger) that are not well-received but are perceivable to the public eye.

Glo-Mercury benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

Your communication style, whether that be through writing or speaking draw people in.

Glo-Mercury malefic aspects (opposition, square)

You may be prone to overthinking and communicating in a way that is difficult to follow as a result. On the other hand, this can point towards a fast speaker that engages their audience (a rapper perhaps).

Glo-Venus benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

You have a natural beauty that you too know how to accentuate. Whether it be through clothes, makeup, art or all the above, you capture others attention as a result.

Glo-Venus malefic aspects (opposition, square)

You may not see your beauty as easily as others, which may lead others to think you're searching for validation. On the other hand, this placement may lead to vanity, constant appearance checks and being unable to stop thinking about how one looks (overindulgence).

Glo-Saturn benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

You are a naturally hard-working person ("started from the bottom now we here" vibes) and your discipline does not go uncelebrated by the masses.

Glo-Saturn malefic aspects (opposition, square)

Despite well intent, you may be prone to overworking, something that generates concern for your well-being. On the other hand, perhaps you do not see the point of hard work and lack discipline.

Glo-Mars benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

You are likely a trailblazer in whichever career you choose. What comes to mind is a fitness instructor for example, who creates new exercises that can be done from the comfort of one's home. This creates competition in the best possible way.

Glo-Mars malefic aspects (opposition, square)

Despite your potential trailblazing capabilities, perhaps it wasn't always in the best interest of others. Remember not to step on others just to reach the top, not only is it not well-received, it also will not go unpunished (the fiery mars energy). Remember, competitiveness is healthy, in small doses.

Glo-Jupiter benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

You are perceived as a lucky person, particularly when it comes to all your life experiences. This is someone who likely finds luck through their travels and emerging themself in new cultures. Not to mention, higher education opportunities are abundant, something that does not go unnoticed. These blessings strengthen the individual.

Glo-Jupiter malefic aspects (opposition, square)

This can lead to either a blockage in opportunities, causing despair to the person or a surplus of opportunities, leading the individual to feel overwhelmed and unable to choose. In particular, this makes me think of someone who wants to do many things with their life though is unable to choose one venture. In the public eye, this person can be perceived as scattered or restless as a result.

Glo-Uranus benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

You shine through your uniqueness, your ability to tap into your original ideas. In particular, unconventional YouTube videos come to mind like storytimes with several plot twists or even "Staying in My Freezer for 24 Hours", idk. You have a great ability to entertain.

Glo-Uranus malefic aspects (opposition, square)

This can manifest as sudden, undesired changes. Using the previous YouTube example, perhaps things go wrong seemingly out of nowhere or that you venture into more dangerous video ideas.

Glo-Chiron benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

When you are aware of your natural ability to shine and you own it, this placement in turn shines again for their ability to share their teachings and past hurt to others.

Glo-Chiron malefic aspects (opposition, square)

This placement indicates a person who is not able to work through their shame associated with their natural shine, who shies away from what they know they are good at, in the guise of humility. They dwell on the undesired parts of themself rather than foster and nurture their strengths.

Glo-Neptune benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

Your imagination, and artistic ability take you far in life. Sharing these gifts with others provides both parties with a healthy escape from the daily routine of life.

Glo-Neptune malefic aspects (opposition, square)

This placement may lead to an excess in escapist tendencies, and mental sensitivity, thus leading the person to retreat more into themself and not share their gift.

Glo-Pluto benefic aspects (conjunction, sextile, trine)

This persons' transformative nature is incredible. This can be perceived as having many different "phases" (emo, edgy, girly, hairstyles, clothing, etc) depending on what it is that they've gone through in their life. This is admired by many.

Glo-Pluto malefic aspects (opposition, square)

This may manifest as someone who is in the spotlight for their inability to adjust to the constant changes in their life, who is famous for unfavourable transformations as a result.

GLO AND INSECURITIES

Forgive me for not mentioning the exact source but I've seen a person on TikTok hypothesize that when we feel insecure, we tend to embody the negative traits of the sister sign of the placement in question when we feel lesser than.

Let's use myself as an example. Natally I have asteroid Glo in Libra 1H. According to this, I shine for simply being myself. In times of insecurity, it can be said that may appear self-centered and arrogant (negative aries traits) and perhaps seek external validation through romantic relationships in attempt to remedy this (7H). With this awareness, I can learn to pour more into myself and become more attuned to my needs.

SOLAR RETURN OBSERVATIONS

This year (2023-july 2024), I have Glo in Cancer 11H trine saturn and squaring neptune. I've found myself slowly opening up more and literally crying (cancer) to my friends (11H) and noticing that it does help with the emotional burden, as someone who usually doesn't. Also, I find that those closest to me occasional make remarks about how hard-working I am (saturn) and this in turn has led me to in more into their perspective of me (8H) and lean more into discipline (capricorn) daily routine, diet and healthy regiment (6H). On the other hand, I have been trying to balance my mental sensitivity (neptune) through my formal education alongside more spiritual practices such as tarot, crystals and astrology (9H). As a result, this year has led me to take a more caring and gentle approach (pisces) to my mental health and explore the inner workings of my mind through guides such as tarot and astrology (8H) though I do require more alone time.

As for this upcoming year (july 2024-2025), I'll have Glo in Virgo 12H sextile the moon and venus, as well as trine uranus and opposing chiron (wow). I foresee myself taking a more analytical view (virgo) when it comes to the inner workings of my mind, analyzing my spiritual beliefs, sleeping routine and hidden fears (12H). With this placement sextile moon, I suspect that emotional expression may come with more ease (moon) and that freeing myself from emotional turmoil may lead me to more career opportunities, and a greater reputation (10H). With a venus sextile as well, this placement is indicative of an improved fashion sense and general understanding of what natural suits me through an intuitive and emotional connected approach, nurturing my needs (cancer), in particular when it comes to finding success in career and social standing (10H), which mirrors my exact natal placement. With a uranus trine, embracing my innovative ideas (uranus) will allow me to flourish in matters related to fear as a general concept, conquering it and transform for the greater good as a result, becoming more spiritually attuned to myself perhaps (8H). This success should be approached in a patient, practical way as lasting success is not immediate (taurus). Now, with Glo opposing chiron, this upcoming year may be one where I must actively fight against my limiting beliefs, perhaps even those that others project onto me (chiron). In particular, challenges associated with potential romantic pursuits are at the forefront, if I do not acknowledge my strengths and hide away instead (7H). I must not waver in my faith and tap into the true courageous, leader-like energy that I know I have inside (aries). This last part shouldn't be as daunting seeing as I have Glo square chiron natally, both in cardinal signs.

Dividers from source!

[sagittariusmarz]

2025 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 (𝒑𝒂𝒄)

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟙

I see that next year you’re going to have a lot of new ideas or ideas for new projects, I see that you’re going to be more busy next year and there will be a lot of momentum. I see your perspective changing or your mindset/ you may feel yourself maturing mentally next year. I see that you’ll have a lot of clarity because you’ll see things differently and you’ll be happier, I see that something you’re having a hard time walking away from will end and it’ll help you grow and ascend. I see you closing out cycles, a lot of divine intervention next year because you may feel too weak to grow and end things on your own. I see you having the need to have stronger boundaries to protect yourself, a big lesson for you next year is learning when to let go and how to accept changes/trust your intuition. Signs- Aries, Cancer, Taurus. Aries in the 1st house, Aries in the 4th house. Initials- B, X, F

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟚

(Angel number 9/999)I see that next year you’ll have to learn how to be more patient, I see you being around your friends or associates a lot. You may find out that the people around just want to be around to have fun because when you really need help you may find yourself alone. You might find out that a friend or friends are hiding something from you, next year you’ll be working hard or staying consistent on something you’ve been working on for a while. I see that you may feel like you need help but you may have a hard time getting the help you need, you’ll feel more independent/self reliant next year. Don’t be discouraged or distracted by your surroundings and things happening around you, don’t feel bad about having no one to rely on. Continue to focus on your self and your personal goals, manifesting may be easier for you next year especially when you isolate yourself and you’re not giving your energy to so many people or things. A lot of manifestations may come in for you next year, cycles ending and getting closer to your goals. Pay attention to health, I see you changing up your routine or trying to be healthier. Signs- Virgo/Gemini, Virgo in the 6th house. Initials- K, J, H

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟛

I see that next year you’ll may feel hopeless or disappointed about something, you may be overthinking a lot about something and feeling overwhelmed. I see that your needs will be fulfilled and you don’t have to worry about not having something that’s important to you, I see that you may feel overwhelmed by something burdening you. You may have to make a compromise on something that you feel very strongly about, next year will be important to do some shadow work and deal with the things that causes you anxiety/ stress or find some healthy coping mechanisms. Next year you may feel sad about an unfair connection you have with an immature person, you have a hard time setting boundaries with this person because you want a relationship with them. I see that you’ll have to change the way you think about them and change the way you handle them so you can have a better control over the situation. I see you dealing with endings in your love life. Signs- Libra, Gemini, Pisces, Scorpio. Libra in the 12th house. Initials- B, D, G

Personal readings always available!

PNGs by @pepperspoppies divider by @thecutestgrotto

[fluff-lover]

Healing touch | Chapter 1: In the mood

Summary: You’re a new member of the X-Men. Your mutation allows you to heal other people: you can close any wound, and cure any sickness. You’re not a fighter at all, but you’re useful at the battle field when it comes to saving injured mutants.

The one thing you can’t heal? It’s a broken heart.

Warnings for this chapter: mentions of diseases, hospitals, sick kids, cancer patients. Adult language.

Masterlist

Logan found himself walking aimlessly around the mansion in the dark. Like many nights before, sleep evaded him and he grew too restless to stay in his bedroom. 

At least this time it wasn’t because of a nightmare. It took a while, but he finally felt like home at the mansion, and with time his trauma started to heal. Healing could possibly take years, decades even, and there wasn’t a certainty that he would ever be nightmare free, but it was an improvement.

Tonight however, his bedroom felt too empty, his bed too cold. Recently his feelings for Jean had turned sour. After she told him girls flirted with the bad guy but went home with the good guy, Logan lost all hope of something more happening between them. Jean assured him she loved Scott and she wouldn’t leave him, breaking Logan's heart in the process.

Feeling restless, he threw on some sweatpants and decided to leave the room to clear his head, hoping he would eventually get tired enough to sleep.

He roamed around the ground floor, not wanting to wake up any of the kids or other teachers sleeping in their rooms. He made his way to the kitchen to get a beer from his personal, secret stash, when his hearing picked up a faint music.

Logan tilted his head and focused on it. “In the mood”, by Glenn Miller played from somewhere inside the mansion. Following the music Logan walked down the hall until reaching Charle's office. The door was slightly open and when he peeked inside, his heart almost stopped.

Charles Xavier was dancing.

Yes, dancing. Slowly, and albeit a bit clumsily, Charles danced to the old swing song. He wasn't alone: Logan then saw a young, beautiful woman dancing with him. Charles smiled widely as she encouraged to keep moving. Logan didn’t know it at the time, but that woman was you, and you would turn his life upside down.

“Look at you go! You still got some moves!” You said and laughed.

Logan pushed the door open in shock.

“Chuck?”

Charles turned to his friend and waved his hands, gesturing to him to approach them.

“Logan! Come! Come! There's someone I want you to meet.”

Logan stepped into the office, his mouth half open.

“You're… dancing.” He said in disbelief.

“It's a miracle, isn't it?” Charles smiled before turning to you. “Darling, this is Logan, one of the professors here. Logan, meet our newest member, Angel.” 

You offered Logan your hand to shake and your first name. "Angel is my mutant name.” You explained. Logan shook your hand, still in shock.

“Angel has healing powers.” Charles explained. Suddenly something clicked in Logan's head. 

Logan found the name fitting, since Charles called her power a miracle.

“Wait… you healed Charle's legs?” He asked in disbelief, as if he hadn't just seen the two of you dancing just moments ago. You nodded your head and hummed.

“More like his spinal cord, but yeah, basically.” You replied. Logan stared at you still trying to wrap his head around this.

Despite the excitement, it was obvious Charles was out of breath and a little fragile, so he leaned against his desk. Both you and Logan quickly offered him support, one on each side of him. Carefully you walked him back to his chair and sat him gently.

“I don't think you'll be running any marathons any time soon.” You joked, and Charles smiled.

“I've used this chair for so long, it will take time to get used to standing on my own feet again.” he commented. 

“Just take it easy.” You said with a comforting smile.

He nodded and turned to his friend.

“Logan, would you please show her the way to her chambers? It's room number 29.” He instructed before turning to you. “Tomorrow you'll meet the rest of the team.”

You nodded your head and picked up your suitcase.

“Thank you for this opportunity, Professor. You won't regret it.” You said and Charles smiled.

“Welcome to the team, Angel.” He said, using your now X-Men name. Your smile was wide and beautiful.

Logan walked you out of the office and took your suitcase from you.

“Oh, you don't have to…”

Logan shook his head. He wouldn't call himself a gentleman, but he wasn’t about to let you carry a heavy suitcase up the stairs, especially after you gave Charles the capacity to walk again. 

Eventually you reached a door with a golden “29” painted on it and Logan set down your luggage. 

“I'm in room 14. It's, um…” He pointed over his shoulder. “End of the hall, to the left. In case you need anything.” 

You smiled softly.

“Thank you Logan. Good night.” You said before stepping into the room and closing the door.

Logan stood in the empty hallway. There was no way he would get any sleep now.

.

The next morning there was a knock on your door. When you opened it you found a hairy, blue creature looking back at you. If it wasn't for the fact that you had seen pictures of him in the newspapers, you would've thought he was some kind of puppet. Dr. Hank McCoy introduced himself in a very polite manner and requested you follow him to the Professor's office.

As you approached the office you felt yourself growing anxious. This would be your first time meeting the team. You knew who they were, but you never met them in person before.

When you got there, everyone turned to look at you, and suddenly you felt very exposed.

"Hey.” A voice behind you said. You turned to find Logan walking towards you. "How was your first night at the mansion?”

You smiled, feeling a little bit less anxious.

"Good. I hardly slept, though. I was too nervous to sleep.” You said shyly.

Logan smiled softly.

"You'll do just fine, bub.”

A few more X-men arrived, and once everyone was there, Charles started the meeting.

"Some of you might have heard there would be a new member on our team.” Everyone turned to look at you, seeing you were the only new face. "I would like to introduce you to Angel. She's a healer and will be a great asset during battles.”

You awkwardly waved your hand.

"What kind of healer?” Scott asked.

"I'll answer that. " Charles said before standing up behind his desk. A chorus of gasps and whispers filled the room.

"Professor…” Jean said, slowly stepping towards the desk. “You can walk?”

Charles nodded his head.

"If she can heal an old wound that no doctor could, who knows how many other things she can heal or cure.” He said while walking around his desk. Most people in the room turned their faces to you. You wanted to hide, but Logan’s presence by your side brought some comfort, seeing he hadn’t backed away and people knew they could trust you. 

“She'll work at the lab with Hank, and as the school's nurse, since she can take care of any wound or sickness our students could get.” Charles explained and sat back down. “So let's get her settled in. Ororo, please show her around the school, give her a tour. Next week we'll start working on including Angel in our missions.” 

-

The next couple of weeks you settled in just fine. You were the “shiny new toy” so most of the staff took an interest in you. Some of them, like Jean and Hank, were fascinated by your mutation. Unlike most mutants, your powers didn’t bring harm or danger. They were quite the opposite, you couldn’t hurt anyone and that was a novelty.

That being said, you were at a disadvantage on the battlefield. You couldn't fight or even defend yourself, so you had to be very strategic when it came to taking part in the missions. While you healed fast yourself thanks to your mutation, you still needed to be careful.

Shortly after you arrived you started training at the Danger Room, where you would follow Jean or Scott’s instructions to move from one spot to the other, always quietly and in the shadows. You also learned to work with the team: having Kurt move you from one room to the other unharmed, or have Kitty turn you intangible and dodge dangerous objects coming your way.

You knew that when the time came, you would be ready to move through the field and heal any wounded friend. However, that wasn’t enough. In case it was necessary, you must be able to defend yourself, to fight if it meant saving your life.

Enter Logan.

He took it upon himself to train you in the Danger Room, just the two of you. Ever since you healed Charles, Logan knew you were special and had the utmost respect for you. He wanted to make sure you would be able to protect yourself and remain safe during battle. 

Going easy on people wasn’t his style, but seeing you didn’t have a mutation you could use to defend yourself, he was very patient. He taught you all the basics, like how to block an attack and throw a good punch. Eventually you gained muscle memory, and were able to keep up.

Well, most of the time.

“Left, right, left, right, left, right, down, down.” Logan counted as your gloved hands punched his and ducking low when he attacked back. “Kick!” You went to kick him but lost your footing and ended up falling backwards.

“Crap!” you said as you bounced on the mat. 

“We gotta work on that.” Logan chuckled and offered you his hand. You hooked your wrist with his, since you were both wearing gloves, and he lifted you up. “I think that’s enough for today.”

“Thanks.” You started removing your gloves. 

“Same time tomorrow?” Logan asked. 

Usually Logan detested training beginners, he preferred training with someone who could keep up with him. Sure, you could heal fast, but he still didn’t want to hurt you, so he pulled back most of his punches. There was no actual challenge for him.

Yet he didn’t complain. Not only did he enjoy your company, but he was impressed by how well you took his lessons and how much effort you put in your training. Most people would complain and give up quickly.

Seeing you all breathless and sweaty was a bonus. Mutant or not, he was still a man, and he couldn’t help his eyes wander down your body every once in a while.

To his disappointment, you quickly shook your head.

“I can’t. I have something to do tomorrow, it will probably take all day.” You replied. 

You liked training with Logan. He was a good teacher, and very patient with you, which was a very good thing considering how often you got distracted by his good looks. He was, without a doubt, the most beautiful man you had ever seen. There was also something endearing in the way he treated you. You knew he was known for his rough exterior, and most people at the school either respected him, or feared him. You had seen him get angry at Scott Summers over the smallest things, or lose his patience with rebellious students. 

But not you. Never you. He was soft spoken and kind around you. 

That being said, you could use a little break from all the training even if it was just for one day.

Logan clicked his tongue in disappointment.

“Alright, but you’ll do twice the work next time. I won’t go easy on you until you know how to kick property without hurting yourself in the process.” He said teasingly. You rolled your eyes and smiled.

“Can’t wait!” you said sarcastically.

Truthfully, you did want to train with him again soon.

-

Ever since he started training you, Logan began sleeping a bit better. Teaching you was a good workout, and with the following shower, Logan found himself more relaxed at the end of the day. 

He was still an early riser, so the next morning he was the very first in the kitchen to make coffee. He enjoyed the quiet mornings, before everyone woke up and the school came alive. But that morning the quietness was interrupted by the sound of someone stomping on the stairs.

“Jesus, fuck!” He heard you curse. “Goddammit!” Intrigued, he walked out of the kitchen and saw you walking down the stairs, struggling to carry down a huge plastic bag. It was almost half your size.

“What are you doing?”

You weren’t expecting him, so you snapped your head towards him looking embarrassed. “Um…” You blinked. “I didn’t think it would be this big, or this heavy.”

Logan sighed and walked up the stairs.

“What is it in here, anyway?” He said taking the bag from your hands and easily carrying it down the stairs.

You rolled your eyes.

“Show off.” You mumbled and Logan gave you a cocky smile. “If you must know, I’m bringing toys to the hospital. I make a donation every now and then, and I get to cure some kids.” You said as if it wasn’t a big deal.

Logan looked at you surprised.

“You go to a hospital and heal kids in your free time?” He repeated, as if he hadn’t heard you correctly the first time.

“It’s better than doing nothing.” You shrugged. “What’s the point of having this gift, if I don’t do something good with it?”

“Aren’t you worried people will figure out you’re a mutant?”

“Nah, usually they don’t notice they’re healthy until much later.” Your phone made a little “ping” and you took it out of your pocket. After quickly looking at the notification, you groaned. “My Uber cancelled, great!” You complained.

“I can give you a ride.” Logan offered. Usually he wouldn’t bother, but he wanted to see you in action.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.” You said quietly.

“If you were a burden, I wouldn’t have offered.” He replied before walking towards the garage door. “Come on!”

-

The ride to the hospital was a quiet one, only the radio filling in the car -one that Logan “borrowed” from Scott-.

“So, what are we doing here exactly?” Logan asked as he parked the car. You looked at him confused, you assumed he was only dropping you off.

“Oh, you don’t have to come inside with me…”

“Someone’s gotta carry that big bag, and we both know it won’t be you.”

“Ha-ha.” You fake laughed. “Just… just play along, okay? We’re here to visit the kids and hand out donations.” You explained before getting out of the car, Logan following close by.

You walked to the reception and greeted a nurse.

“Hey Rhonda!”

“Hello my little miracle worker!” She smiled. “I’m so glad to see you, I swear everytime you come by, the kids feel so much better the day after! We had several discharges after the last time you were here.” 

“Oh, that’s nice!” You giggled before shooting a look at Logan. He raised an eyebrow and smirked. He knew he had to keep his mouth shut.

“And who is this tall glass of water?” Rhonda asked as she looked at Logan up and down.

“Oh, this is my friend Logan. He’s here to help me with the donations today.” You explained. 

“Well, we sure can use more helping hands around here.” Rhonda said in a suggestive tone.

Logan cleared his throat uncomfortably, and you quickly started pushing him towards the pediatric wing.

“It was nice seeing you Rhonda! We’ll be out in a jiffy!”

“Friend of yours?” Logan teased when you were out of earshot. You rolled your eyes.

“She’s harmless, I swear.” You replied, making him laugh. 

You stopped by a door that had some pink and purple flowers. In the middle there was a name tag that said “Manx, Ashley.” You turned to Logan and opened the bag to fish for a toy. After coming up with a sweet looking purple dog, you knocked on the door.

A woman, Ashley’s mom you assumed, opened the door. You put on your best, kindest smile, knowing it’s never easy to have a child in the hospital.

“Good morning, ma’am! We come on behalf of a non profit that donates toys to sick children. Would it be okay if we come in and meet your daughter?” You asked politely. The woman stepped aside and let you in.

Logan decided to stay behind, watching you from the door.

You approached the bed and made an effort not to get too emotional as you locked eyes with the little girl.

She looked so fragile, her bald head covered with a pink wool hat, cables stuck to her chest and sticking out of her arm. Your heart ached for her.

“You must be Ashley.” You said as you sat on the edge of the bed. She nodded her head shyly. “I saw the flowers on the door, they’re beautiful. Did you make them?”

Ashley shook her head.

“My friends at school made them for me.” she said, her hands fidgeting with her blanket.

“Oh, that’s so nice! I bet they miss you a lot at school… Do you miss school?” 

Ashley nodded her head.

“The doctor says I won’t go back in a long time.” She explained sadly.

You heard the mom’s breath hitch. Clearly Ashley’s prognosis wasn’t good. Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself and put on a wide smile.

“I’m sure it won’t be that long. But until then, I have a little friend here that could keep you company.” You said sweetly before showing her the stuffed dog. Ashley smiled. “Do you like it?” The little girl nodded and reached out. As you handed it to her, you made sure to place a hand on her arm. Instantly your mutation transfers your powers through contact.

Ashley took the dog and hugged it tight to her chest. 

“Thank you.” 

The entire time Logan watched you closely from the door. You were so kind and gentle, so selfless with your power.

“Thank you for this.” The mom said to him. “We don’t have many good times at the hospital, for obvious reasons. What you and your colleague do is very meaningful. We really appreciate it.” 

Logan stood in silence, not knowing what to say. He just nodded his head.

You stood up from the bed and gave Ashley’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

“You take care, sweetie. And take care of that little friend.” You said pointing at the dog. She giggled and nodded her head.

“I will!”

Once you and Logan left the room, Logan stopped you.

“What happens next? Will she be okay?” He asked and you nodded your head.

“Tomorrow, or one of these days, the doctor will run some tests and find out there’s no traces of cancer in her. It will be odd, and no one will be able to explain it. Her mom will probably say it’s a miracle or something like that… and that will be it.” You shrugged. It really was that simple.

“I’ve never seen anything like that.” Logan said, amazed. You smiled.

“You just wait and see, we’re just getting started.” you said before picking another toy and heading towards the next room.

-

The toy bag was empty and you were exhausted. It had been a long day at the hospital and you were ready to go home and sleep for the next week and a half.

Logan noticed you could barely stand on your feet, so he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer, letting you use him for support as you both walked back to the car. He opened the passenger door and helped you sit down before fastening your seatbelt.

“You doing ok there, bub?” He asked with a frown.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I think I’m running on empty now.” You said softly, your head wobbling against the headrest.

“We’ll get something to eat on our way to the mansion, alright?” He said before closing the door and getting to the driver’s side.

As promised, Logan stopped by a diner on the way to the mansion and got some food. Sitting on the hood of the car, you munched happily at the burger he got you, humming at the delicious fatty taste. Logan sat next to you, eating a burrito.

“It’s a good thing you have healing powers.” Logan commented, one hand holding up a tray of fries for you to take some. “That looks like a heart attack on a plate.” 

You chuckled.

“You don’t get to judge, I’ve seen the cigars you smoke.” You teased back and grabbed some of the fries. Logan smiled.

“How often do you do this?”

“Every other week.” You replied. “I would do it more often but people would start getting suspicious.” Then you frowned, and Logan watched you zooming out, deep in your thoughts. “It sucks, really. I wish I could help them all, I wish I could cure everyone, everything… There are so many people in pain, so many lives I could save or change for the better, but there’s only so much I can do in one day.”

Logan felt a tug in his chest, his heart aching for you. He placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a reassuring squeeze.

“You’re already doing a lot. Think of all the parents that won’t have to bury a child thanks to you.” He said softly, and his words comforted you. “You may not save the whole world, but you save theirs.”

You smiled softly.

“Thank you Logan. Would you like to come with me to the hospital some other time?”

“Of course, bub.”

Logan had given up on humanity a long time ago. He had seen so much pain and cruelty, he was sure it was only a matter of time before human kind exterminated itself. 

You gave him a little bit of hope. Maybe not everyone was so bad.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Thirteen: [Panic Room]

Summary: Jakes darkest fears come to fruition when surgery doesn’t go as planned and the months to come bring a new reality he never saw coming.

Warnings: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion.

Word Count: 5.5k

Author Note: A big show of appreciation and love to @a-reader-and-a-writer (Vee) for constantly being ready and willing to help me with my writing. You have been the backbone I needed to get this done!

You guys will never know how much this series means to me. And in the same breath, you guys will never know how much your support truly means. Merry Christmas Eve Eve 2024 ya filthy animals.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Researchers say the average length of a dream is two to three minutes long. But many people experience their dreams as hours, days, or even years if they can remember them at all. 

The science of dreaming has been questioned for hundreds of years. Some hypothesise that dreams are our way of processing real events that occur when we’re awake. They also serve as an outlet for repressed hopes and desires. Neuroscientists introduce a new theory every few years. But honestly, no one knows why we dream. 

Or why we have nightmares. We just hope that after the dream, we wake up. 

“We’ve gone over all the risks, weighed up all the possible outcomes, dotted I’s and crossed T��s. Today is the day, Mrs. Seresin.” Doctor Morrison was hopeful in his consultation. The white coat-wearing man reassured you as he placed your chart back where it belonged. “How are you feeling?” 

The question went unanswered for a moment or two. You felt like you were in a state of shock. Unable to truly express how you felt just hours before going into what could be life-changing surgery. You were giving everyone in the room a thousand-yard stare. Mentally and physically, you had checked out. Like you’d been stuck in a nightmare that wouldn’t stop torturing you. 

“We had some bad news last night. A close friend passed away unexpectedly,” Jake answered on your behalf. “Is there any way–” 

“We need to do this now, Mr. Seresin, or we won’t be able to revisit this for a few months,” Dr. Morrison explained with an emphasis on the matter of now or never. “I understand personal circumstances may have changed. However, knowing everything you know about risk and recovery and survival rates after double mastectomies, I recommend we stick to the organised care plan.” 

“Can we have a moment alone?” Jake asked cautiously as his hand came to rest gently on your shoulder. You hadn’t moved from what could only be described as a catatonic-like state for the entire duration of the conversation. 

“Of course,” Dr. Morrison nodded. “I’ll come back after I’ve checked in on a few patients.” 

It didn’t take long at all for the oncology crew to exit the room. But the second they did, you felt like you could breathe again. 

“I can’t go through with this surgery Jake,” you begged. Fear of the unknown had taken over your entire being. “I can’t do this,” 

“You are the strongest person I know, honey, the kids and I really need you to do this.” Jake tried his best to comfort you as well as remind you why this surgery was so important. “We need you, yeah? We need you to stick around and this fucking cancer, this disease, is trying to cut that time short.” 

“But Jensen–” 

At the height of the Great Depression, Harvard scientists started tracking students in hopes of discovering the key to a long and happy life. They looked at participants’ mental and physical health over seventy-five years. It’s the longest study of happiness to date. Seventy-five years and all they did was confirm what we’ve known since the beginning of time. 

The most powerful predictor of health and happiness is the quality of our relationships. 

Strong relationships protect us. Loneliness on the other hand…can be deadly. 

“Would want you to keep fighting and have this surgery.” Jake could have said he thought Jensen was a coward. He could have said how angry he was at that fucker for leaving you alone in this world with no one to confide in who knew the struggle, who knew the feeling of being told you’re sick and need to get sicker in order to get better. 

Jake could have told you how he wished Jensen had survived so he could kill him himself. Jake could have responded with the fact Jensen was terminal and there was nothing on this earth that could have saved him from his illness. 

Jake could have told you that Jensen thought you hung the stars and the moon in the night sky every night just for him…but then Jake would also have to admit to himself and you that maybe, just maybe, you should have moved on. 

“What would he say right now if he was here?” Jake settled on that question just to keep himself sane. He didn’t want to open yet another can of worms right before your surgery. This was all one big giant nightmare already, he didn’t want to make it worse. If anything, Jake kept pinching himself in secret just hoping that maybe he’d wake up on the couch and this cancer saga would all be some sadistic subconscious dream of his. 

He’d always been deathly afraid of not being good enough for you. 

“He’d tell me to do it,” you sighed as you let your head rest against the upright bed. “He’d tell me to be strategic about the battle, the war is the endgame.” 

“Exactly, one battle at a time, step by step,” Jake agreed with a cheeky smile. That signature Seresin smile you so effortlessly loved. “You’re not gonna hand in the white flag before the battles even really begins, are you?” 

“Kinda want to if I’m being completely honest with you,” you responded knowing Jake would appreciate the honesty. “But I guess you and the kids really need me to stick around, huh?” 

“Oh, I can’t even begin to explain how much we need you to stick around, honeybee.” it was as honest and as sincere as Jake could be. He wore his heart on his sleeve for you. He exposed every nerve he had just so you could dance your feather-like fingers across the tender strings that made Jake, Jake. 

“I’m so scared of being alone in the operating room,” you admitted as Jake leaned in to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I’m so scared they won’t see me as a person,” It was an explanation that broke Jake’s heart even though he believed his heart couldn’t be broken any more. “That they won’t remember I’m me, that I have a life and a family and people who will miss me.” 

Over the course of our lives, our relationships ebb and flow. We get together, break up, move away, or fall out of touch. It’s prolonged periods of loneliness and toxicity that wreak havoc on our health, our brain function, and our longevity. 

“You’re never alone,” Jake replied softly as tears threatened to spill over his waterline. “I’m always with you, the kids are always with you, Jensen, your mum, everyone will be with you during that surgery, we’re gonna be waiting on the other side.” 

“I love you so much, Jake Seresin,” you smiled brightly through a tight-lipped smile Jake wished he could save in his mind’s eye forever. “Let’s win this battle.” 

“And the war too,” Jake replied as he reached for your hand, gave it a soft squeeze, and brought your palm to his lips. “Let’s fucking do this, Y/n.” 

*************************************

Jake sat waiting by the vending machine as he picked at the small single service-sized packet of original Lays he’d nearly had to beg the machine to drop. His watch told him it was almost nearing the end of your surgery. He wasn't stressed, not when your surgeon had been so hopeful and calming. Jake had spent far too much of his time recently worrying about the what-ifs. He wanted to focus on the now. And that now was the fact you would have been nearing the end of your surgery. Which meant soon enough he’d get to see you again. 

The only thing that kept Jake on his toes was the ever-looming doubt that perhaps the treatment plan wouldn't be enough. He hoped that you had enough fight in you to make it through the journey. He needed you to have enough strength to fight. 

“She should be coming out of surgery soon–” Jake explained as he held his phone up to his ear and tried not to chew so loud. “The kids know that Rooster is picking them up to bring them home to Grandma Maz’s house?” 

“Yeah, Mum’s not too happy about it but she won't keal over about it,” Jasmine replied as she watched her brother's kids play with hers in the backyard she and Jake used to make mud pies in. “Rooster messaged about an hour ago saying he was close, he shouldn't be too far away now.” Jas continued in her own little world. Jake was used to not being able to get a word in with his youngest sister. “I can't believe Y/n has fucking cancer–does her side of the family have a history or…?” 

“Not that we know of, it's just really bad luck, Jas,” Jake sighed as he let his head fall back against the wall his chair was pressed up against. “But hopefully with this surgery and the chemo, she’ll be able to beat it.” 

“Well, you tell her that I’m pissed she gets a boob job before I do,” Jasmine tried her best to keep the situation as light-hearted as possible. “Make sure she gets a good rack, not too small or too big, like a good handful that's just right.” 

“I'll be sure to let her know,” Jake smiled, he really could count on his sister for that. “Oh, I gotta go, I see Y/n’s surgeon.” Jake sat up in anticipation as anxiety flooded his nervous system. “Tell the kids we love them for me.” 

“Have been every day,” Jasmine replied quickly knowing her brother probably had his phone down from his ear by now. “Bye.” 

Jake was quick to pocket his phone and wipe the crumbs from his shirt as he stood to greet your surgeon. However, something seemed off about the man who had seemed so confident before your surgery. 

“Mr. Seresin–” 

“How is she?” Jake asked. He didn't mean to interrupt, but he needed to know first and foremost before any medical mumbo jumbo. “My wife, how’d the surgery go?” 

There was a very telling pause that accompanied the sober look that Doctor Morrison wore, but Jake tried not to read into it all that much. He knew you would be fine. 

Right? 

“Mr Seresin, your wife's heart was weakened by the stress of her recent stroke,” Doctor Morrison began to explain as Jake stood there expecting good news. “She, unfortunately, went into a cardiac arrest–” the air around Jake disappeared. Almost instantly, he felt as if he were floating in space. “We tried to revive her for the better half of twenty minutes while she was on the table,” There was a pause. A telling moment where reality and fantasy were trying to battle it out. Who’s version of events would win? When Doctor Morrison saw Jake’s mind short-circling with an inability to process the magnitude of information, he felt as if he needed to continue explaining the severity of the situation. 

“It was catastrophic, and I'm afraid we've lost her.” Doctor Morrison had told far too many loved ones over the years that they had lost family members, but never in all his years had he ever seen such immediate denial written in the lines on someone's face. “Mr. Seresin, your wife has died.” The words Doctor Morrison was saying were not sinking in as Jake stood there completely blind to the reality happening around him. “I’m so sorry for your loss–” 

“Uh–” Jake frowned as the confusion kicked in. “I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else. My wife was fine before she went in for surgery, she was fine.” 

“Yes, yes, your wife was fine, yes–” Doctor Morrison tried to keep his composure, but even after all these years the losses still hurt. It made him feel human to experience the emotions alongside the family members, but in the first few seconds of watching Jake Seresin spiral into a hole of denial that you were, in fact, gone, Doctor Morrison, knew this particular loss would haunt him for the rest of his career. 

Speaking slowly, Doctor Morisson tried once more to explain what had happened in a way that Jake would understand. “The stress of the surgery along with her recent stroke…her body just couldn't handle the stress. Her heart experienced a cardiac episode and we unfortunately couldn’t revive her.” 

The immediate silence between the two men was all-consuming as it was telling. Jake’s heart was breaking in two. 

“Is there someone I can call for you?” Doctor Morrison tried to be as empathetic as he could be, this part of the job was never easy. The part where he was tasked with telling loved ones that the people they loved had passed on his table. They were few and far between, but the people he did lose would forever haunt him. He could name every single one and their family’s name too. Jake Seresin would be a name Doctor Morrison would remember for the rest of his life and into the next. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Jake pushed back almost immediately as he tried to wrap his head around what he was being told. This didn’t make any sense, you were just here. You were fine. 

“No, Mr. Seresin I–” Doctor Morrison tried to explain again, but it was to no avail.

“I–Okay, I think you must be mistaken,” Jake wiped his hand on his jeans as he stepped back. “I just need to ge–”

“Mr. Seresin, please.” Doctor Morrison tried to stop Jake from leaving the waiting area, but Jake just stepped further back with a frown of disgust and grief. He was still holding his packet of Lays. 

“No, no can you just, can you back up?” Jake nearly growled. “Can you leave me alone?” Jake looked around as he tried to remember how to breathe. People were staring at him like he was in a zoo. A caged and cornered animal begging to be left alone. “Can somebody get this person to just give me some space please?” It was as heartbreaking as it was cruel to watch Jake walk down the hall towards where he knew your hospital room was. 

“Y/n?” He called out hoping you'd be back by now. “You won’t believe this guy, honey. He just–” The moment Jake rounded the corner and saw your hospital room empty with no sign of you, he stood still. All the air had been sucked right from his lungs as his eyes scanned the room. Your Christmas lights weren’t flashing, your bed wasn't made, and your laptop sat open with a black screen, but just where you’d left it. You weren't back. 

“Y/n?” Jake whispered under his breath as his eyes continued to scan the empty hospital room just waiting for you to appear from out of the bathroom or sneak up behind him. But Jake knew you weren't about to appear even though he wished for nothing more. 

“Oh–” One step, two steps, three steps, four. Jake didn't know where he was but he was on the move. He couldn't stay here looking at an empty room. He had to find where you were. “Oh god, no, no no no no no, please no don’t take her away from me.” 

“Jake!” The woman's voice Jake had come to know over the last few days broke through the fog that was clouding Jake's mind. He continued to stumble blindly down the ward. “I just heard,” Lydia explained as she rushed up to the man who she had come to know as your husband. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting this to happen. I thought–” Lydia quickly reacted when Jake's knees buckled underneath him. 

“Woah! I need a little help over here!” Doctor Morrison was quick on the draw as he made his way over to where Jake now kneeled on the floor unable to breathe. 

“My wife–” Jake tried to talk as he hyperventilated. “Y/n!” he cried out for all to hear. “Y/N!” 

“She's gone.” Doctor Morrison had to make sure the fact was sinking in. 

“Oh Jake, I’m so sorry–” Lydia tried to console the six-foot-something man who had crumbled to his knees. “Your wife was an amazing woman.” 

Jake still couldn't believe it, he didn't believe it, and he wouldn't. The pain he felt inside his chest, the burning hot sensation was excruciating. He’d never felt such a feeling of grief mixed with denial and so much love. You couldn’t be gone. He was having a nightmare, wasn’t he? This wasn't real. He was dreaming. This was all one big dream. It had to be. It had to be a nightmare his subconscious had concocted. A nightmare where Jake lost it all. His biggest fears were realised. 

“I need my wife, I need Y/n,” Jake sobbed as Lydia kneeled on the ground in front of him just assessing his current state of shock. “I can't, she can't–no no no she's fine, please tell me she's fine.” 

“I'm so sorry, Jake,” Lydia confirmed what Jake wished so desperately wasn’t true. “She’s gone,” Lydia’s voice became distorted as she held the broken man in her arms. “You need to wake up before it's too late.” 

************************

Bradley Bradshaw was accustomed to losing the people he loved the most in this world. He’d lost his father, his mother, and his grandparents. For a while there he’d lost the only man who had ever slightly filled the shoes his dad left behind. But the loss of someone who was still there was something he’d never had to handle before. 

“Nat, he hasn’t gotten out of bed in days,” Bradley groaned as he cleaned up the kitchen. “The kids already lost their mother,” Bradley tried his best to keep his voice down, but the way little Lennox clocked Bradley from where he was sitting at the dining table made him realise he wasn’t one to talk on the quiet side. “They don’t need to lose their dad too.”

Jake stood just outside of Bradley’s eyeline, but he could hear everything the giant overgrown bird was saying. He couldn’t hear what Phoenix was saying but there was enough back and forth on Bradley’s behalf to easily fill in the gaps. 

“No. No, he hasn’t been down since the funeral.” Jake forgot how to exhale at the mere mention of your funeral as he hid in the hall. He couldn’t remember ever getting ready or speaking at your wake. He couldn’t remember who drove them or if the kids cried. He couldn’t remember hugging your mother or shaking your brother’s hand. Jake couldn’t remember any details about the flowers he’d organised or the people who were there. 

The anti-depressants weren’t helping. Nothing was. Nothing would. 

Until today, Jake couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. Without you, there was no point. He was begrudgingly okay with living a life in a world where you were still in it. But living in a world where you were no longer present wasn’t something Jake was willing to do. The kids would be fine with their grandparents. They’d be fine with Uncle Rooster. Lennox and Lucy and little Sammy didn’t need him. How was he supposed to look into their eyes and know he could never see the twinkle in yours ever again? 

“I’m really worried about him, Nat,” Rooster sighed as he held his phone up to his ear with his shoulder. He was working on making little Samy some banana pancakes. “As much as I want to, I can’t stay here forever, but he needs someone.” 

“No one is asking you to babysit me, Bradshaw,” Jake replied to the statement Bradley wasn’t expecting an answer to. “You can leave, trust me, I can drop the kids off with my mum.” 

Bradley stood stunned into silence as he watched Jake round the corner and into vision. He reluctantly reached for his phone and hung up as Phoenix questioned what was going on. 

“Hey man,” Rooster finally broke the silence as he watched Jake walk closer and closer to where Sammy sat in his high chair. “How you feeling today?” 

“Well, my wife’s still dead, so that’s something,” Jake replied with a sigh as he picked up Sammy and placed him on his lap. Lennox could see the look of pure admiration in his younger brother’s eyes as Jake hugged the smallest of the Seresin kids. “Seriously, you’ve done enough for us, I got it from here.” It was the biggest lie Jake had ever tried to tell not only himself but his best friend. 

“Uh,” Bradley wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure? I mean–I wanna stay as long as you need man,” Bradley tried to plead his case as Jake went about his business with Sammy. The business being nothing. Jake stood somewhat dazed and lost in the middle of the clean-ish kitchen. A kitchen he knew where nothing was. It wasn’t his. It was yours. 

“I think the kids should come back to North Island with me,” Jake opted to ignore what Bradley was saying. Instead, he decided to continue with a vague plan for what the future holds. A future he didn’t want to have with you. A future he didn’t care about. 

“You want the kids to uproot everything they know?” Rooster frowned as he looked over to where Lenny sat watching on. The kids were down, to say the least. Bradley could recognise himself in the permanent pout that had taken shape across Lennox’s face. The puffy eyes and saddened expression really tied the whole look of mourning together. They were just kids, they didn’t deserve any of this. “I don’t think you should be thinking about coming back to work anything soon either.” 

“I don’t need you micromanaging me,” Jake hissed as he held onto his youngest son, all the while his eldest watched on with concern for his dad. “I need you to go home, Rooster, we’ve got it from here.” 

“You don’t got anything, Seresin. Are you kidding me right now?” Bradley didn’t mean to come across as so defensive. But he’d seen Jake in this grief-fueled spiral long enough to know that his destructive and depressive mindset would end up causing more distress for the kids than intended. Jake was a good dad, that had never been questioned. Until now… Bradley wasn’t sure if his best friend could handle parenting three small children without a village to back him up. “The kids haven’t seen you in days–” 

“Would you rather them see me at my worst or not see me at all?” Jake’s grief was eating away at him. So much so that Jake began to wish each time he closed his eyes he’d get to stay with the version of you his mind had envisioned. “I’m fine, I’ve got it from here,” Jake sighed as he hugged little Sammy with all the strength that he had. “I wasn’t, but I’m fine now and I just wanna spend time with the kids.” 

“I don’t believe a word you’re saying right now man,” Bradley replied as he caught sight of Lucy coming down the hall. She’d been sleeping much like her father was. Great, all three Seresin children were present for their father’s impending breakdown. 

“Get the fuck out of my house, Bradshaw.” This hadn’t been the first confrontation Jake and Bradley had gotten into while Bradley had been staying in Rhode Island as the Seresin kid’s personal live-in nanny. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last. It was becoming an almost everyday occurrence. The only difference this time was the kids were here to witness it. “I don’t need you here–”

“You aren’t thinking straight, just–how about the kids and I go for a walk or something and you sort yourself out? Have a shower? Shave? Drink something other than alcohol for–” Before Rooster could finish his sentence, Jake was placing Sam on the kitchen floor with a haste that didn’t sit right with Rooster. Lennox was the first to move from his chair. He was the spitting image of his father. 

“I don’t fucking care, Rooster!” Jake shouted at the top of his lungs. So loud and with such rage that the veins in his neck were popping as his skin turned a nice shade of ruby red. He took fast strides across the kitchen until Jake was standing toe to toe with his best friend. The very friend who’d been taking care of his children since before your passing. “I have to live the rest of my fucking live without the woman I love, so, cut me some godman slack before I knock your smug ass head from your shoulders.” 

Bradley didn’t move. He didn’t retaliate. He watched over Jake’s shoulder how his three children all cowered on the kitchen floor, scared of how their father yelled. Jake was oblivious to his surroundings. He couldn’t see the kids were struggling too. 

“Jake?” Bradley sighed as he placed his hands on either side of Jake’s face. “When the fuck are you gonna get through all this?” Braley asked softly as he remained calm. “When are you gonna wake up?” 

“Wake up?” Jake repeated as he pulled his face from his best friend's grip. “Wake up? Bradshaw, I died with my wife! There is no waking up from any of this!” 

“Maybe–” Bradley shrugged as he walked over to where the kids had been huddled together. It was only as Jake followed Bradley’s trajectory that he realised how much he’d scared his children. Something he never wanted to do. “There's always hope though.” 

“Kids,” Jake sighed as his tears began to fall. He dropped to his knees right then and there in the kitchen he wasn't familiar with. In a house that was now cold and dark without your constant radiating light to keep it warm and bright. “Guys, I'm sorry, huh–Dad didn't mean to raise his voice, he’s just–” Before Jake could finish his sentence, little Lennox was finishing his father’s sentence for him. 

“You’re just sick, dad.” 

“What?” Jake frowned as the kids made their way over to where Jake was kneeling on the tiles. 

“I said you’re just sad, Dad,” Lennox replied once more as he gave his dad a hug. “We’ll take care of you.” 

************************

December 31st 

Jake Seresin tried his best to hide the wet tears that fell down his cheeks as he sat with his kids on the lounge of the home that he had tried his best to keep as tidy as he could. There was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of frustration, a lot of fear and unbelievable sadness that surrounded Jake and your three small children. The unknown was truly tragic, terrifying and treacherous, but Jake wasn’t about to let his kids see the way he so desperately wanted to cry. 

Things had changed since Jake fell mind, body and soul into an unimaginably deep hole of depression. So much so that days had become to feel like one long dream. A paradox of grief and manic love. Your mother had told Jake to feel every ounce of emotion he had locked away. Maz had told him that grief was just someone’s residual love with nowhere else to go. 

Once Jake was able to understand that the pain of losing you was his love for you, he understood why it hurt so deeply on a cellular level. He understood why it hurt to look at the children he’d created with you. He understood why the kids had wanted to sit and open the small, still-wrapped Christmas present Lenny had found in Jake’s bag when he was looking for his dad’s wallet. 

Because it was one of the last things you ever gifted someone. It was one of your last acts on earth. 

“What did Mum get you for Christmas, Daddy?” Jake held the small present in the palm of his hand, the present he had yet to open. The present he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It felt like something he’d held before, the weight felt all too familiar. It haunted him the more he carried it around, held it in the palm of his hand and contemplated the inevitable. 

“I dunno buddy, you reckon I should open it?” Jake asked as he kissed his son's head. “S’not Christmas anymore.” The Naval Aviator had recently shaved his head, it had been the closest to a number one he’d ever had. It was in solidarity, union. A decision he made in the blink of an eye but one he did not regent or ever would. 

“We haven’t taken the tree down yet,” Lucy added her two cents into the conversation as she laid her head on her father’s thigh. “Mum would be upset if you didn’t open it, Dad.” Jake knew that much was true, you probably would be pretty bent out of shape if he never opened it. 

“Alright, I’d better open it then huh?” Jake shook the small perfectly wrapped box he could hold in the palm of his hand. He heard what sounded like a rock rattle inside. His heart nearly exploded inside his chest. 

Fuck….Jake knew what it was and he really didn’t want to open it. 

“Hey, Dad?” Lucy’s voice sounded completely different to anything Jake had ever heard before. She was looking right at him yet her eyes were trained on something one hundred miles away. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Jake replied just as he was about to open the present you’d given him before his life was turned upside down. 

“You need to wake up now,” Lucy’s voice sounded familiar, but it wasn’t her own. “You’ve had enough time here,” 

“What are you talking about Lu?” Jake frowned as he looked at his daughter. An extension of himself and you. “Lucy? Are you feeling okay?” 

“You’ll be a good dad soon,” Lucy smiled as she unwrapped the small ring box in Jake’s hand. The ring box that held what Jake assumed to be your engagement ring. But as little Lucy opened the wrapping, a blinding light burst through the cracks. A light so bright it forced Jake to squint. 

“Please wake up, honey,” Jake heard your voice clear as day as Lucy opened the ring box to send a piercing white light into the living room. Jake was completely captured by the light around him. So much so the entire room was drowned in a light so pure it was crystal clear. He couldn’t see a single thing beyond the all-encompassing white. 

“Please wake up for us,” again your voice was the only thing Jake could hear in the void he found himself in. 

“Y/n?” Jake called out into the void around him. He could feel his ribcage breaking like he couldn't breathe. Every breath he took was agony. “Hello?” Yet he could hear your voice. A voice he longed for. A voice he had to get back to. Jake had to get to you. 

“I’m here, you’re alright,” Jake once again heard your angelic siren song. His head began to throb. The feeling was agonising. Like there was no more room for swelling. 

“Where are you?” Jake called out as he stumbled in the light. The smell of burning flesh mixed with jet fuel overcame Jake’s senses. His need to get to you was more powerful than the deep bone ache he could feel in his legs. There was nothing on earth or beyond that would stop Jake from getting to wherever the hell you were calling him from. His entire body ached with a pain so unimaginable it sent him to his knees. Crawling, Jake cried out for you just one more time. 

“Y/n!?” Jake called out once more in a desperate attempt to find you in the void. “Kids?” 

“Here he comes,” Bradley’s voice echoed out as Jake looked up towards where he assumed the sky would be. The glare was too much. Jake placed his forearms over his forehead to soften the brightness. “Come on Hangman, don't leave us out to dry.” 

Some people spend their whole lives trying to make a dream come true. They set a goal and make a plan on how to achieve it. It works for some people. But for others, it’s not so easy. As hard as they work toward the dream, it can feel like the whole world has plotted against them. 

As someone gets further and further away from the dream, people begin to cling to any sign of hope. And the longer it takes and the more it costs…you start to consider whether you should give up. Do you find a new dream? Or do you stick to the one that started you on this journey in the first place? 

For Jake, things weren’t as black and white. 

As Jake closed his eyes and took one painful last breath in, he felt as if he’d fallen from cloud nine. When he opened his eyes, the light was still there….But he wasn’t.

Jake’s eyelids fluttered, the faintest hint of light creeping through the haze of his mind. He tried to move, but his body felt foreign as if it wasn’t entirely his own. The weight of unconsciousness clung to him, reluctant to release its hold. Slowly, he became aware of the sounds around him—

“Jake, It’s me, can you hear me?”

**********************

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