#not all that sure don't hold me to that
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having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????
#listen I was forged in the fires of garrusmancing. I went through two whole games just to get a gentle headbutt and some tender words#before me3 comes along and rewards you for your tenacity more fully#me? the reyes romancer???? I have the strength and headcanon game to bear the relative lack of content before the end#when the endgame is this good I am willing to hold out for it haha the way he looks at rook towards the end......#I also really liked taash' (it's really sweet) but I don't think I have any rooks ready to go right now who would go for that vibe#emmrich for sure is going to be my either crow or shadow dragon romance it really is very good! and extremely goth not unrelatedly#undeniably that old man has the most game out of anyone in this story. the move with the flower??? I'm sorry????#I actually like that lucanis' romance blooms out of the safety of an established friendship more than anything (again. avowed garrusmancer)#but emmrich... he's got some next level romantic stuff going on and is being both so wholesome and such a freak about it lmao#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#all jokes aside I totally respect and understand that people are a bit disappointed and frustrated -- they're not wrong to feel that!#there really are some gaps in content there for the midgame#however I was personally custom built by experience to get the most out of this scenario as possible and by god I will#just as I feel that ryder and reyes go off and have some soul-shrivingly good sex after the first kiss#(it makes that arc make a lot more sense to me haha)#I think rook and lucanis Get Up To It after the second coffee date. weird of them to not show us that but okay I'll fill it in myself then
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Eliot ensuring the girls know how to defend themselves. (And them proving that they can!)
Leverage S02E02/S04E05/Redemption S01E16/S02E03.
#leverage#leverage redemption#eliot spencer#parker#sophie devereaux#breanna casey#alec hardison#nate ford#you know he's trained the guys too of course#nate hardison and harry all throw a decent punch#but you can tell he's so proud of the girls when they get it right#i mean look at him in that 4th gif!#AND he also gives them the confidence to stand up to those trying to intimidate them#proven by breanna in the card game job with 'touch me and you'll be singing soprano'#he's made sure that everyone is able to hold their own even if he's not there#and that's something beautiful#don't mind me i'm having feelings about eliot spencer#and oops i wrote a thesis again!#ghostly'sgifs
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It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.
As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that
#spuffy#idk missed opportunity for sure. maybe it's brought up later in the season? I can't remember rn#but they do kind of shunt spike's complexity and make his character all about angel's feelings#though don't get me wrong i LOVE their fight over the cup#i love the symbolism of spike being able to hold the cross while angel can't.#spike pointing out that he fought for his soul while angel had to be forced to change is sooooo cathartic#because that's the thing about angel is he's not inherently a good person. he has to continually fight to be better#he's the faith to spike's buffy#btvs thoughts#btvs#anyway their continued insistence that buffy and angel are soulmates that transcend any other relationships#is rly detrimental to both buffy and angel as characters imo. as well as any other relationships they might have#cordelia and spike who actually put in the work to get to know them as people are automatically relegated to second fiddle#dont get me wrong i love bangel for the angst but i dont buy that buffy will always be in love w the same guy she barely knew at age 16
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timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done
#rimi talks#it is SO messy and its so fun. i don't think geoff even realized the implications but they sure are there when you read it#god... you know its BAD when modern comics have me missing tt03 of all Fucking comics#but like. todays ''tell don't show'' writers would N E V E R do something this interesting#tom taylor would be all. oh! tim we shouldn't kiss. i'm just substituting you for kon because i miss him and you were his best friend!#and then he'd have tim go oh wow cassie you're right i didn't realize that! my bad. all forgiven? yay!!! :)#GOD YOU KNOW ITS BAD OUT HERE WHEN I THINK *GEOFF* DID SOMETHING RIGHT. GOD. GOD#GEOFF MY MORTAL ENEMY GEOFF. grits teeth yeah geoffrey i have to give you this one............#its just such a deliciously unhealthy coping mechanism. theyre a MESS. theyre using each other. theyre only able to go on bc of each other#its not a romance but it IS a codependency#bart isn't even dead yet when this happens. like. he's just off being the flash.#bart (extremely depressed bc he couldnt stop sbp and hold him in the speed force forever): :| ok#not his circus. not his monkeys.#well it is his monkeys even if he left the circus. but he's too depressed to deal with it#but its so fun. this relationship is haunted. there's a ghost in the middle. they both want to kiss him instead of each other.#tim#cassie#timcassie
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[zombie au] finally a full colored piece of the gang (and also a fun b&w version)
#qkdraws#id in alt#zombie au#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#ritsu kageyama#mp100 ritsu#tome kurata#mp100 tome#shigeo kageyama#mp100 shigeo#mp100 mob#blood#tw guns#(don't hold a gun like that.)#told u he's bad at trigger discipline. ritsu get ur fucking finger off that trigger ur gonna shoot ur foot#another tiny thing abt this au that makes me sad: ritsu makes sure when looting for clothes that he gives mob the stuff that fits him#and ritsu wears the bigger oversized stuff. on all accounts it'd prolly make more sense to give mob the stuff that doesn't fit him#since ? he's a zombie and doesn't rly give a shit abt what he's wearing.he barely notices he has a jacket on at all#but ritsu wants him to be comfy even if mob himself doesn't rly Notice ?#idk he feels bad giving himself anything that's Better than what mob gets#the kid always feeds mob first. when he finds soap he always washes mob's hair first instead of his own#always gives him water first whenever they find it#mob is always taken care of First ritsu is an afterthought even to himself#ritsu kiddo ya gotta take care of urself too . ritsu .oh god he can't hear us he's too busy mourning
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This holiday season, I am BEGGING you guys to be aware of and kind to the guests at your house who are afraid of /uncomfortable around / allergic to animals.
#if you don't grow up with animals. having an animal in the space you're in (especially a poorly trained one that WILL jump on you when you#sit down) is a very uncomfortable experience and I'm tired of acting like I'm okay with it#my cousins actually brought their new puppy to thanksgiving and we had to explain to them that we can't have their dog out of his cage#because my mom's allergic to dog hair and can't have dog hair all over the not puppyproofed home she lives in#as the acting eldest daughter i've grown more accustomed to animals in defense of my siblings#since I'm more okay with dogs i have to hold the leash when my aunt brings her dog on a bus tour unannounced and i have to stand between a#four foot dog that is jumping and barking at us and my siblings#one night when we stopped on my way to college i didn't even sleep much because i had to make sure the cats that were in the room my littl#e brother and i were sleeping in didn't climb on him in the middle of the night#like this may seem like a 'oh just deal with it!' but you CANNOT 'just deal with' it. that's not how fear works.#i have more thoughts on this matter but i will keep them to myself unless asked#kazzy has opinions (rare)#kazzy rants in the tags#but i will also add that i very distinctly remember my three year old brother crying and shaking with fear as my grandpa and my uncle forced#him to pet a dog and wouldn't let go of him or let him down until he had pet the dog and it still makes me cry to this day
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Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.
Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!
And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.
Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!
But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!
#I have some actual gripes but that's just me being pedantic about something I know a lot about#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#loz link#loz botw#loz totk#the legend of zelda#totk link#lu wild#Okay but please stop making his teleportation a point of interest to the chain they ALL can warp it's not even slightly special#And the slate/pad doesn't hold any items I'm begging you that's just fanon it's never been canon or been implied to be#Travelling across hyrule (on horseback) is about a week and a half following the paths at a walk. Rito to lurelin. It's not weeks on foot t#Hyrule Castle!!#This isn't a problem but like. Let link be petty brats to civilians occasionally. It's enrichment. They all have beef with some rando.#They're all extremely polite and let people get away with more than they maybe should but like. Adults starting smth with a 16yo.#Also wild has serious beef with ganon why does everyone write him so chill. Like botw sure but totk?? Absolutely not.#'wah my home is in ruins it's all my fault' it's been like that for yonks no one's even mad and hello?? Miles on miles on untouched#Landscapes?? Millenia of ruins indistinguishable from the recent stuff?? Link literally died he could not have done any more#How anyone can play botw/totk and not be BLISTERINGLY proud of hyrule I don't know#Okay but why does everyone (particularly legend omg) always bitterly blame hylia like loz has a dozen odd deities and hylia is the ONE who#Got cursed right alongside link. It's just... Idk but it seems like such a culturally Christian thing. All the focus on one who then gets#Blamed for everything in life going wrong. Not even Christian but specifically American Catholic. I don't know.#Hylia is the one deity we can pretty safely assume is neither omnipotent or omniscient lmao#In every time she has a voice (botk/ss) she pretty clearly mucks up or gets tricked and has regrets#In ss when she was zelda she hated every second of leading link around and even then it all hinged on link being completely willing!!#And then she got kidnapped anyway!#In totk (spoilers) she loses contact with one of her statues and asks link to check it out. Another statue gets POSESSED by ol triangle hea#And again link has to figure out the problem. Like even in her divine form she is so far from all knowing and all doing.#It's a lot of conflating with the concept of fate maybe?
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I've made my fascination with filth and how it connects to VP loud and clear at least three times on my blog, but I seriously can't state enough how much it occupies my mind. There's just something really powerful about someone not only being not grossed out by your filth, but, on the contrary, being attracted to it. Pulled into it. Turned on by it. That's what happens to Vegas at the safehouse. Pete is at the worst state he's ever been (debatable, since we don't know much about his past), and yet it's at these moments Vegas starts to become obsessed with him. I love how it's kind of subtle in its presentation. After all, KinnPorsche The Series is a very polished and "clean" show. Everyone is dressed nicely and the fight scenes never get too dirty or too bloody. The sex scenes never get too messy, either. And yet, at the safehouse, Pete is allowed to show parts of his filth to the audience. His hair is greasy, his skin is feverish, his lips are parched, there's black under his eyes, his voice changes, not even mentioning the dirt on him and the blood trickling down his chest. The rest is implied: the bad breath, the yellow teeth, the smell, the digestive problems he 100% has. What's implied is more important, because it's those filthy parts of Pete that Vegas embraces with fervor: he kisses a pill into Pete's unwashed mouth, and he eats Pete's unwashed ass. I love thinking about the juxtaposition of internal vs external filth as well, because to me, the VP arc kind of flips them on their head: Pete's filth is, as I explained above, external. He's filthy in appearance, in body, while Vegas' filth is internal, in his mind, in his heart. By the end of the show, Vegas ends up with external filth (another thing I've posted about that got some mixed reactions lol) that he has to find how to navigate his life with, and this time, it's Pete who embraces it. Don't get me wrong here. Both of these men have internal filth. Pete isn't some innocent, pure angel and he knows it, and Vegas does, too. Self-loathing just doesn't let him remember it most of the time. I'm going to end this post with this screenshot, which is probably one of my favourite VP moments (besides the sex itself), and that's because it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed on my screen. Look at the pores on their skin, at Vegas' bags under his eyes, at Pete's wet hair above his ear, at the stubble on Pete's chin and Vegas' upper lip. Look at them being filthy and at home. Aren't they gorgeous?
#no I will not talk about the bloody armpits again#I've found my headcanon and I'm sticking with it#besides I'm sure Pete's armpits still probably smell like a dead animal anyway#(Vegas has caught a whiff once or twice but he holds himself back from sniffing with intent in case Pete realizes what he's doing)#(don't judge me he would and you know it)#this was just me expressing my thoughts I'd like to turn into a fic one day#it'll be gross and only for me but it'll be worth it#btw I'm not using the word filth in a negative light at all mind you#as I said I'm fascinated by the subject in a good way#I love how my obsession with (Vegas)Pete is still so strong#I do wonder if it's ever going to end#I hope not#vegaspete#meta post
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#JRWI#The Suckening#This is silly but I can't get it out of my head#The whole ''The feeling was friendship but neither of them had ever experienced it before'' thing is just So Them#You guys should all listen to The Suckening. I'm having a great time#This was supposed to be funny but upon reflection I'm slowly realizing it's incredibly tragic#*holds them gently* My two special boys#Listen man I'm just a huge sucker (no pun intended) for loyal characters#especially characters who are loyal to a fault#That's my bread and butter#Remember when Shilo called Grefgore his friend and Grefgore was like ''We're friends? 🥹''#Because I sure do#I love all the moments they've hugged it's so sweet#And then after [REDACTED] Grefgore's so happy to see them and Shilo's like ''Don't cry!!!! You'll make me cry!!!!!''#And Grefgore's just like ''I CAN HELP IT 😭😭😭''#Absolute sweethearts#I adore them#They'd be very sweet in a /r way but I heard Shilo is aroace (? Good for him if so) so I'm bapping them with the qpp stick instead#Roll talk#i talk
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seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest
#“rick made carter be an elvis presley fan that's fucked up!” is a real thing I just read#do you think black people can't enjoy elvis even though he appropriated black culture for personal gain#boy you would not like what I have to tell you about eminem. or kpop. or anything else bc black culture has been#appropriated by like everyone forever. are black people not allowed to enjoy iggy or ariana or billie or [the list goes on]#I myself am not biracial but I /mostly/ like carter and sadie (specifically carter who isn't white-passing) as black representation#the part where carter feels indignant that he has to hold himself to a higher standard because the world is harsher on black boys#did genuinely resonate with me when I first read that part as a child and it still does to this day#can we talk about how rick knows nothing about black hair instead#or how hazel is from the jim crow era and seems to not have one single thought about race in the modern era#or hazel's horror over the amazons keeping slaves but “no they're not slaves they just like it that way 🥰”#my problems with hazel are not at all about stereotypes I just don't buy her as an authentic portrayal of a black girl from the 1930s#don't get me started on beckendorf. does every black character need to die a violent horrible death rick#anyways this isn't intended to make anyone feel bad but we need more meaningful nuance in critiques beyond “hey that's a stereotype! bad!”#if you can't discern and communicate WHY it's bad then you're not saying anything of substance#is it a caricature? is it uninformed/underresearched? are all the characters from that group being represented in that way?#is the stereotype itself a degradation of that group? is it being played for laughs? is the character a one-dimensional stereotype?#what can we glean about the biases of the author/narrative and their worldview through their portrayal of certain groups in the text?#a big part of literary analysis and critique is not only pointing out The Thing. you need to also say something about The Thing#like if you have a black character say they like hiphop then sure it's a “stereotype”. but lots of black people do like hiphop#it's an important part of black american culture and portraying that in media isn't racist by default#and in fact lots of poc keep parts of themselves quiet for fear of being perceived as a “stereotype” when we shouldn't have to do that#BUT if you're doing it like jonah wizard was written in the 39 clues then that's where we've got a problem bc wtf was that rick#that was so racist oh my god I was like 11 years old reading that 😭 and then he had the white mc poke fun at him for being a gangster#and him being a “gangsta” was always played for laughs throughout the story#not being pro-rick here as I'm a big fan of critical riordan reading just being pro-thoughtful critiques because some of you guys actually#sound a wee bit ignorant when saying things like what was mentioned in the first tag#baye.txt#pjo hoo toa#rr crit#<- tagging that just for. well the tags basically
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— SMALLVILLE, “Wither” (6.03)
#can't believe they danced together in a fountain and we didn't get to see it 😭#anyway I love the comfortable physicality of this scene#like lex talking with his hands while still holding lana's hand in the second to last gif#and the fact that they're both walking around the mansion barefoot#and their smiles!! (especially in gifs 2 and 6!)#(pretty sure this is the last time we really see lex genuinely smile like this... but that's depressing so let's not think about it)#(also I could obviously dig into lex refusing to admit that he's actually happy but hoo boy I don't have time for all that lol)#in my head time stopped here and nothing bad happened after this like that's it THE END#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#lana lang#lexana#sv 6x03#dcmultiverse#my gifs#I told y'all that I had a gifset from this ep floating around in my drafts somewhere lol#not pictured here: me fist-fighting the smallville lighting department in a denny's parking lot
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Weeks after learning of the Commodore's death--when he could no longer lie in bed consumed by grief, after he was forced to get up, to feed himself, to keep going--Roberts had visited the Dark-Spectacled Admiral. There was no love lost between the Admiral and the Commodore over the years. Roberts had heard plenty of the stories of the Commodore's frustrations upon return from his many trips to London. He hadn't seen the Admiral himself since he was barely more than a child. Yet he had to try.
As the years had gone by, the old guard had slowly faded out of the picture, until there were so very few people left who remembered the olden days. Remembered the Commodore as Roberts knows--knew him. The man who was full of jokes and life, whose charisma captured a room. One who cared. A man who'd spent hours yelling encouraging words through a layer of crumpled steel, trying to grant some level of comfort to a trapped and terrified child, to at the very least abate some of that terror in what could've likely been his final moments. The man who had slowly faded into placidity and smiles and bright nothingness as the years had gone on.
The Admiral was no friend to either of them, not since the schism, but perhaps he might remember the friendship the two had once had. Perhaps he might care that he died. Perhaps there is someone else who remembers the man, the same one Roberts does, and feels something at his passing. He has to try.
He adjusts his spectacles, hiding the puffiness of his eyes from view, and knocks on the door.
#roberts/nite#my writing#dawnlight dementia arc has me unwell#i don't recall if i'd ever talked much about the commodore being roberts' first captain#who was on shore during the Fall when the ship went down#and amidst all the chaos made his only priority locating his ship#making sure the men on it--the ones under his care--were ok#it took him several hours to do#and by the time he found the wreck of it any survivors had gotten out#or so they thought#as soon as he'd heard the screaming all bets were off#london may have been in shambles and there were hundreds of pressing things to do#but he'd spent the night and most of the next day talking to that scared child inside that wreck of a ship#telling him it would be ok#that they would get him out#he just needed to hold on and be brave#there was never a force that could separate roberts from the commodore after that#and the commodore knew it#he was the only person who could get him off of that rock#willingly or not#roberts
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Rich and arrogant and combative and blasphemous, Jillian Salvius would surely live in a den of iniquity where her girls would be tempted enough to abandon their mission — so Mother Superion thought.
But Jillian Salvius' table, however generous, was not one set for waste: gracious as a host, meals at her house were varied but not excessive, alcohol present but not overindulged in; if more kindly, her conduct was as correct as that of any strict Christian such as Superion herself.
And, through daily contact, sharing in that their deadly conflict, Mother Superion found that she could admire her — charmed.
#doctor superion#warrior nun#mother superion#jillian salvius#i wasn't sure i'd be able to post this here tbh. tumblr on mobile is my personal hell#but here it is. enjoy. the next couple of drabbles are all sin-themed so that's fun#please join me in hoping my computer will be back and running by the time i post the next drabble lol#because i am going crazy. i hate hate hate phones. how does anyone enjoy this torture??#and since i'm unlikely to pop up again here so soon as long as the pc is out...#have an update: the vtm doctor superion au is now at page 101. but that's equal to only about HALF the original lol#so there is progress. just don't hold your breath because this fic will take a gooood while still#i'm excited though 👀#warrior nun drabble#narratives and similar
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Hey, just so you know, the person who plagiarized your work hasn't actually deleted their ao3 but changed it to sugucidal. While looking through my one fic I know they commented on it showed up like that. Figured you'd want to know so you can still block them.
oh wow. the saga continues apparently because every single one of the fics this account has ever posted were stolen from me. like.... I'm not sure what could compel a person to do this....
#thank you so so much for informing me#this is just.... once again I am speechless#I'm not going to post specific examples because I think you guys get it by now#but you can look on their ao3#it's very clearly all copy pasted from me#I'm not sure what to do in this situation#is there some way I can report this or inform ao3 so they can take down this account?#godddd and I really just wanted to forget about this why do I have to deal with so much crappppp 😭😭😭😭#I don't post everything to ao3 and some things are only on tumblr but my heaven is a bedroom fic is literally on ao3 as well#what does someone get out of stealing this much#this counts 7 fics of mine they stole.... SEVEN!!!!!!!!!#someone hold me pls
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love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what
#school and home life are too much to handle so i skip school#because i cant kick my parents out#and appartments cost money#and i dont have a car to sleep in#i could maybe try to dig up my old childhood tent but that brings a whole host of logistic questions + im scared and it's difficult#anyway. it's fine. it's cool. i just have to hold on until i graduate high shcool and then ?????#find a way to live without my parents money OR scholarships#all for some nebulous end goal of having a job (the only field i'm interested in and good at offers two options:#to become an academic#or to become a freelancer#i do not have the fortitude to be an academic and being a freelancer is convoluted and pays like shit)#i might've spent 24h without my parents occasionally if i spent the night at a friend's place once or twice recently#but besides that the last time i've gone 48h without my parents was when the mental health center organised a week camp uhhhh...#two summers ago#incredibly good for my mental health as you can see#god i remember like... years ago. around 13yo maybe or 14. a guy. i dont know if he was a mental health professional or like social cases#but anyway he told me ''you're too afraid to be away from mommy and daddy'' and it made me want to rip his eyes out#several other people have implied or suggested that too over the years and it's just#am i too dependant on my parents? yes. will it be difficult to take my independance? yes.#does it means i don't both rationally recognize and feel that this is really fucking unhealthy and hindering for me#on top of being unpleasant?#FUCK NO#i want out my guy. there's just not many opportunities for an already mentally ill teenager#now that i'm eighteen i have to grapple with the logistical problems of the money needed and how to continue my education#and im sure a billion more if i start searching a little more seriously#perhaps i should kill myself that way i don't cost anyone any more money#broadcasting my misery#vent
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Moralizing the Boatboys hate is so funny lol you guys do realize joel edits and puts together his own videos . Just say you're not into it and ignore it
#going to get uncomfortably real here but okay here me out#many ccs know about the shipping stuff and they Will play into it because its their JOB#its their job to hold your attention and make you like them and interested in them#theyre grown ass adults on social media#if i was a cc that said something during recording that i didnt want people to take the wrong way#i would simply cut it out because i can do that#i agree that people take it too far#but ultimately a lot of mcyt fanworks are derivative and based off of caricatures#like joel KNOWS that people find the etho obsession bit funny. thats why he brings it up all the time#i agree that there are some things ccs don't want to see but also they spend hours listening to themselves talk and thinking about how they#are perceived. im sure theyve spent time thinking about Shipping#like again there are boundaries and limits to this obvs but also joel drawing hearts around etho in gartic phone is basically him saying#im continuing this bit because i know it gets engagement and i think its funny#he knows it gets perceived as romantic and hes okay with it#why? because hes married and he knows that his online persona is Not him and he knows that his minecraft yaoi with his friends isnt actually#how he feels about them as people. joel irl is NOT into ethoslab at ALL lol but hes okay with joel the minecrafter appearing that way#its one thing to read too deep into a friendship and its another to just roll with what the ccs are handing you and I dont think its any#different here
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