#not all men are the same

[bumblingbabooshka]

Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.

[userarmand]

I feel like I get to pick one thing for myself, and it's her. A weird white lady I met by happenstance.

[trans-androgyne]

I want there to be fewer MRAs. Do you want that too? Do you want to know what helps us get there, from a feminist perspective?

You may not like my answer: acknowledge that sexism can affect men. Recognize that, although the patriarchy generally privileges men, they are also subject to restrictive gender roles that are harmful to them (shunning all things “feminine,” not showing emotions, being protectors/strong, never admitting being victims of SA/IPV, having to “earn” their manhood, etc.).

Give young men a place other than the right-wing manosphere to be heard about the issues they experience. If these grifters are telling them “only we understand how hard it is to be a man, the left hates you for your gender” and they look to the left and see “men claiming they have ‘problems’ are losers who just hate women, all men are trash,” do you think they’re going to be drawn towards or away from feminism?

Before you leave an angry response: no, this does not mean to center men instead of women in feminism, it just means including them at all. No, it is not “coddling” men to treat them with human dignity, you can and should continue to hold them (and every other gender) responsible for unpacking sexist beliefs. No, this does not mean it is every individual woman’s and feminist’s responsibility to prioritize men’s issues, it just means at the least not shutting them down when they do speak up about sexism. No, it is not “not all men-ing” to point out that “men are trash” sentiments hurt the feminist movement rather than helping it. Ask questions before you make accusations on this post, please. I have been abused by men too, I get it, this isn’t easy to hear.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

[kingkrillin]

just need to share how much I dislike this post lol

people will fully expect trans men to put ourselves on the line for everyone else and meanwhile the only time they acknowledge our existence is to talk about how "low risk" we are (obviously untrue) or to volunteer us out as a community for potentially dangerous activist endeavors that they wouldn't risk doing themselves

"we need to get uncomfortable!" and what's actually being discussed is convincing a subset of the community to be uncomfortable on your behalf while you do nothing to show solidarity with us

[jingerpi]

i think the main character that differs transmisogyny from transphobia + misogyny, is the goal.

trans masculine individuals experience what we'll call "corrective misogyny", where they experience a derision of their chosen gender in an attempt to push them back into the class of [cis]woman this is transphobia + misogyny.

People I think confuse this with transmisogyny because it involves transphobia and misogyny, but transmisogyny is not "corrective". The point of transmisogyny is to push trans feminine individuals out of both the class of man and woman, into a gender underclass, a subaltern as some have called it. There is no premise of "rescuing" trans women. trans men are abused in attempt to bring them back into the protected underclass of women, while trans women are abused in an attempt at the opposite, the intent is explicitly to push us out of all protected classes.

[obsob]

once more around the sun!! :3

[clonemmunism]

And then they lived happily ever after and nothing bad ever happened to them

[contagious-watermelon]

Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.

But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.

But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.

It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'

[lycandrophile]

i’ve been working my way through a list of movies with trans men in them, and while i haven’t seen enough to really call this a pattern, i can’t help but notice that the movies i’ve watched so far portray trans men in a very particular way.

specifically, all of the trans guys are dicks.

the movies have decided that trans manhood is such a horrible, miserable existence that it leaves trans men as horrible and miserable people, and that because we’re so tortured, we must lash out and take it out on the people around us.

maybe the characters are mean because they’re dysphoric. maybe they’re trying to act the way they think real men act. maybe they’re trying to keep people away because they’ve been hurt before. maybe they’re being actively hurt by the countless transphobes in the movie and trying to protect themselves. the reason doesn’t actually matter — it changes from movie to movie and scene to scene. but no matter what the situation is, the movies want us to know that a trans man would react to that situation by being an asshole to everyone around him.

sure, the characters are somewhat humanized by the fact that we know why they’re so mean, but it’s clearly not meant to be something we see as justified. we’re supposed to pity them, if anything, not actually understand them.

and don’t get me wrong — i fully support trans men’s wrongs. i think we should be allowed to be angry and bitter and unpleasant. but i think we should be allowed to be happy too, and it really rubs me the wrong way that these trans men only seem to be allowed happiness when a cis person falls in love with them (or, in one case, after top surgery magically fixes them).

it sort of feels like the writers heard the word dysphoria and thought it must just be a synonym for hysteria.

[medeaaasworld]

Woke up thinking about this part from extra content:

like—are we just going to ignore the fact that Andrew comes to Wymack to drink and talk about Kevin??? So often that Wymack just assumes that every time Andrew starts talking it's about Kev??? And the first time Andrew doesn't drink because of Kevin is when he drinks because of Neil???

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[iliothermia]

Stavrouakis' work has always meant so much to me, I collect his publishing as I can. I wanted to share some of his depictions of Greek Jews and our clothing, especially the ones I haven't seen shared online.

[ffcrazy15]

There's this way of doing female-ness in Christianity that I call "pastel flower journal Christianity." I've got nothing against pastel flower journals per se, but for some reason people believe it's the end all and be all of female spirituality, and I think it's a real disservice towards young Christian women.

One of these days I'd like to start a prayer-and-reading group or something for young women, but there would be no floral themes or over-focus on how "God thinks you're beautiful even if the world doesn't" (a true statement, but it's wayyyyy too often the focus in women's spiritual reading). Instead we would be reading:

Seneca's Letters from a Stoic

Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning

Sheed's A Map of Life

Portions of Pieper's book on leisure

Kreeft's Three Philosophies of Life

Guardini's The Lord (or something similar)

Therese's Story of a Soul

and some select portions of the Nicomachean Ethics.

(Also they're all getting the porn talk. I don't know why we give the porn talk to young men but not young women. There's this idea that women don't use porn and they only need the talk about "guarding their heart." Bullshit. There's porn on the YA shelves of Barnes and Nobles and before that there were bodice rippers. Young women need the porn talk too.)

Every young woman needs to be getting a basic grounding in virtue ethics, logic, natural law, scholastic philosophy and Biblical hermeneutics if they're going to get by in today's spiritual landscape. Enough faffery and emotionalism in young women's spiritual education! Give them real food to chew on, not pasty sentimentalism!

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[empiredivinite]

"hating men is your whole personality" yeah it is, and i'm cool as fuck for that.