#not a mistake please continue exposing people to this fucker

[ressioo]

i made a mistake by showing ur suns design to my friend now he has an incurable disease called BEING A SIMP

This will never not be funny to be Have some suns doodles for that

[undermattsun-archive]

tell me

(skate rat) miyas x fem!reader | w.c 1.6k

a/n: ok look i’m no brother fucker on main, but the lewding potential post-show me was too delicious, and if i’m not an opportunistic whore... so here it is the pt 2 y’all keep screaming about that i actually started writing no more than two hrs after posting show me bc i have no self control

another big thankies to @sugardaddykenma for giving this a read over big fat wet besitos for u

18+ university | please read ALL warnings

warnings: INCEST full on (i’m sorry god), dubcon/noncon elements, fingering, overstimulation, dumbification (lowkey), degradation, manipulation, a dash of gaslighting, a bit of humiliation, virginity loss (mentioned), crybaby!reader, little bit of mind break, reader is tired + slurs words a bit

just...them taking advantage of dumb reader

read show me first! (not necessary but appreciated + it would make more sense to do so) NOW with the third part make me !!

One hour, twenty-six minutes and who knows how many seconds have gone by since your brothers have decided to go into an entire good cop, bad cop tirade.

Their words barely making a dent in your mind as a soreness settles in your bones, the added discomfort of a mixture of sweat, saliva and cum drying on your skin with the debauched feeling of Kita’s cum dripping from your sore cunt keeping your mind thoroughly distracted.

“You’re never gonna see him again.” Atsumu-nii barks out.

“It’s better that way.” Osamu-nii adds gently.

“In fact he’s dead next time we see him.”

“Yeah, very much dead.”

“We told him to stay away from you, fuck.” Atsumu flops down beside you, Osamu follows sitting on your other side.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” You mumble, regretting your words the second you see the look in your brothers’ eyes.

“Not that big a deal?” Atsumu’s voice is no more than a low growl as he rises, eyes narrowing at the statement. “Kita’s a fucking bastard and you just let him between your legs like it was nothing. Are you stupid?”

Your eyes widen at the accusation as you scoot away from him, drawing your knees to your chest, letting your eyes fall to the rumpled blankets surrounding you.

“You let him cum inside you?” A gasp falls from your lips, embarrassment scorches through you as you realize the way your bare cunt is exposed by the way you’re sitting. You immediately shoot back, slamming into Osamu as you squeeze your legs shut, dread filling your lungs as Atsumu crawls forward.

“Our little sister really is dumb. Is that what you’ve been up to while you’re away?” He’s always been faster than you, proven by how his fingers are already around your wrist, yanking you towards him. You know that struggling is a moot point, he’s bigger and faster and so much stronger. But you can’t help but wiggle around, barely able to make him budge even a centimeter.

“No! That was my first...” you bite your tongue as Atsumu crosses his legs and seats you in his lap, your back pressed against his chest as he snakes an arm around your waist. He rests his chin atop your head, a thoughtful hum vibrating in his chest against you.

“Hear that Samu?” Atsumu squeezes you tightly as your eyes frantically dart around Osamu’s features, silently begging for him to free you from this situation.

“Yeah Tsumu, she really gave up her virginity to Kita.”

“Like an idiot.” They muse in unison.

“I- but-”

“But nothing. Now your nii-chan’s need to clean you up. Stupid little girl.” He mutters against your hair, smoothing his hands over your thighs, spreading them apart more and more. Stretching them until they’re caught by his knees, rendering you helplessly exposed.

“Umm.” Your legs twitch, the position all too embarrassing, the powerlessness of it parallel to when you were being held by Kita. Taboo, the position screams.

“It’s okay, dumb girls like you make mistakes all the time,” Osamu smiles gently, shifting over to lift the hem of your shirt, handing it to Atsumu keeping it pinned just above your belly button, “that’s why you have us.”

Confusion swirls as you watch your older brother's fingers disappear into his mouth, eyes watching as his tongue flicks over the digits, retracting them slowly.

“Ah! Wait!” You yelp out as he pushes his index and middle fingers past your puffy hole, a stinging pleasure making the taut muscles of your thighs twitch. Atsumu lets out another low laugh, steadying your legs, forcing you to keep still as Osamu continues to prod further. The blunt ends of his fingers pressing and dragging against the sore gummy walls.

“Too much, too much.” You gasp as Osamu’s fingers dig further into your cunt, shaking as you feel the tips of fingers brush against your cervix. Fat tears begin to roll down your face as you press harder back into Atsumu, as if you could find escape in the rigid planes of his body. 

His fingers continue to twist and scour, the sensation is all too overwhelming, making your throat tighten as you make futile attempts at clamping your legs shut, only making Atsumu snicker above you. You watch with panting breaths as Osamu finally draws out his fingers, covered in the milky white slick, evidence of the sins you committed just a few hours before. 

“What a sloppy cunt, you really let him make a whore of you huh?” Atsumu bites, the words cut into you, the betrayal in his voice making your throat tighten further. You can only manage to choke out a broken sob of a denial as Osamu brings his fingers against your lips.

“Say ‘ah’.” You shake your head frantically, face quickly being caught in Osamu’s other hand.

“Don’t be difficult, we’re helping you.” Disappointment, the disappointment crumbles what little fighting spirit you had in the first place, you can’t stop the tears from falling as you let Osamu slip slicked fingers into your mouth. Lazily you swirl your tongue around them, exhaustion starting to sweep over you. 

“All good?” Atsumu asks as Osamu pulls his digits from your mouth, smiling proudly at you.

“Let me make sure.” He lowers himself more onto the bed, bringing him face to face to your dripping cunny, he plants a hand against the taut muscle of your thigh, staring so intently at your twitching hole. “So fuckin messy.” It’s the closest to warning you get as he pushes his fingers back in, the yelp you let out sounding pitiful even to you. 

“We shouldn’t, d-do this.” You grip at Osamu’s arm, but it’s as if each tug you make has no effect. There isn’t a purpose to his motions, his fingers pumping in and out of you with reckless abandon, the wet, lewd sounds filling the room. 

“‘M just helping you.” Osamu breathes out, hot breath fanning over your sensitive cunt. With each push of his fingers you feel as though your whole body has been thrown under an unwavering waterfall, every stroke of his fingers feeling like the ruthless waters beating down on you. 

“Yeah, you’re the idiot who went and fucked Kita Shinsuke of all people.” Atsumu chides, running a hand across your belly, lips tickling the shell of your ear. He pulls one of your hands off of Osamu, intertwining your fingers, securing your hand against your heaving chest.

“M’Not an idiot.” Your panting whines swirling with the soft wet clicking made by his digits in your cunt punctuating your shame, your words weakly slurred together. “Samu-nii n-n’more.”

“Hm? What was that?” He teases his ring finger against your entrance, viciously scissoring his index and middle, making your body stiffen, the pain of overstimulation surging violently chased with flecks of pleasure. 

“Pretty sure she said more Samu.” Atsumu goads, slipping his other hand underneath your shirt to massage your tender breasts, the endless waves of exhaustion leaving you unable to deny yourself melting in his hold.

“More it is.” Without the slightest of stutters in his motions he stuffs in his ring finger, forcing your back to arch at the sting, the throbbing of your cunny is gut wrenching but the delicious curl of Osamu’s fingers is undeniable.

“Shlow down.” Your tongue feels thick in your mouth, head lolling back, knocking into Atsumu’s chin as you stare down with blurry vision at Osamu’s fingers disappearing into your wet heat.

“Think our little dummy means speed up, right sis? You wouldn’t want Samu to miss any leftover cum from your little slut stunt.” 

“I-I don’t?” You mumble, trying to crane your head to meet Atsumu’s gaze, the disconnect of his words is disorienting as you continue to slip into worn out haze.

“Of course not, that’s what we’ve been telling you.” He releases your hand in favor of sliding his hand up to grip at your jaw, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Hey Samu I think you can fit a fourth.”

“Yeah, me too.” Atsumu presses your head against his, leaving the two of you cheek to cheek as your eyes widen at the sight of your brother’s pinky swiping besides your entrance.

“Won’t fit.” 

“It will.” Osamu looks up at you, the familiar lazy half smile almost comforting as he begins to work his fourth finger into your thoroughly abused cunt. A jolt of biting pain mottled with bliss erupts through you. The feeling of being utterly stuffed, pushed past whatever limits you had, leaving you unable to even focus your eyes or make sense of whatever Atsumu whispers against you. 

The entirety of your body feels like an exposed nerve, as if you’ve been left out in the sun too long, simultaneously hyper aware and numb of all the little touches and strokes across your flesh. You can feel Osamu steadily pick up the pace with each thrust of his fingers, each stroke as if he’s trying to dig deeper, as if he’s trying to make your cunny memorize the shape of each finger. 

“Tsu-tsumu-niii, I thiiink…” Whatever comment you had is lost in your throat, the tiniest caress of Osamu’s thumb against your clit has your mind going blank, the entirety of your body coiling tightly, a mangled whine preempting the feeling of yourself gushing around Osamu’s fingers. Your body spasms, held tightly in Atsumu’s arms as you squeal out at Osamu unwilling to relent his movements, continuing to piston his fingers with reckless abandon.

“Enough, Ssamu enough.” Your vision goes spotty, watching with jagged breaths as he gradually withdraws. You spiral into unconsciousness one last shiver wracking through you as you watch him bring his fingers up to his lips, licking a stripe up his coated fingers. A dastardly grin the last thing you see as you black out.

[cockbiteproductions]

just another person Going Through It with hashtag ryangate lol f

i was going through jeremy’s twitter likes because someone said he liked friend of mine’s tweet about feeling bad for fiona in this situation and i wanted to see it myself. and then i scrolled down and in the older likes was a tweet from ryan qrting the rt account from like october 1st and he had attached a video of him. and the date just struck me as so fucking recent. this was less than a week ago. less than a week ago everything was fine and he was acting like he hadn’t done any of this shit and business was carrying on as normal. and i just viscerally had to close the tab and get up and go outside on a walk.

and i just hate this i hate how deeply ryan was embedded in rt and ah and how many years of memories are tainted now. just a few hours ago i was like oh well maybe ill go watch [an ah video] to make myself feel better but then i remembered i can’t. like even if he wasn’t in it i couldn’t, it all just feels dirty now. i don’t want to in a year from now open up an old ah video and then immediately have to close it because ryan was in it. like going back to old old ah videos and seeing ray in it is a pleasant surprise but seeing ryan would just be. like almost every time i type his name i have to pause and physically shudder. it just fucking sucks. i hate that years of positive memories are now fucked up because of him. god how hard is it to not cheat on your wife with fans.

and i keep going back and forth on being able to laugh about this. like joking to lighten with the fuckery of it all and being glad that he has been exposed for the creepy and cheating fucker he is. like i keep remembering this one tweet i saw that was like “lol rip to everyone who bought a ryan body pillow” and it’s fucking hilarious and i laugh every time i think about it. but then 2 seconds later i remember those people legitimately looked up to him and found him to be a source of comfort. and how fucked up i would be if My Favorites were exposed for something like this and then it just isn’t funny anymore. and it wasn’t like i didn’t like ryan like he was a solid member in the ah cast and i very much liked him in videos and i already feel like shit because of this. so ill see people making jokes about this and laugh momentarily and then think to myself ok stop being fucking rude this isn’t funny stop making jokes about this. even though i was laughing myself a second ago.

but also i feel like just the tiniest smidgen of sympathy for him in having his nudes leaked like. fuck. if that happened to me i would be mortified. and people are making jokes about it and how he looks and it just doesn’t sit right with me like i know he did a terrible thing but god those were still personal and he didn’t deserve nudes of him leaked. like i guess some people could argue it’s retribution for what he did but i’ve never been one for revenge except in the most extreme cases and i know this is bad it’s so bad i understand what he did was terrible i even answered an ask explaining why but this isn’t one of those Most Extreme cases im willing to say that he deserves this.

and also in the comments of that ryan situation video from tessa i kept seeing things that were like “i have no sympathy for you. you knew what you were doing. you knew he had a wife and kids.” and. i understand what kind of point you are trying to make here but truly i don’t think they understand the power parasocial relationships can hold over people. they are your favorite person. you would do practically anything to feel close to them. and especially at that young age. like not to discount the critical thinking skills of a seventeen year old because i mean i was seventeen once and i had a brain but with the idol worship/stan culture and not fully developed brain you cannot possibly think that what she did was entirely of her own. i dont know the word im going for here. i guess of her own volition. that’s not very right but i can’t think of another word right now. like to a small small degree she is culpable for what she did there but not NEARLY anywhere in the ballpark of what ryan did. ryan, in his 30s at the time, married with children, should have absolutely known better and not been recipient &| solicit sex from his fans. they’re just nowhere near the same ballpark of blame in this.

and as for ryan’s tweet like. “i made mistakes.” yeah bro you sure fucking did. mistakes is the weakest word for it i can think of. god again just how fucking hard is it to not cheat on your wife. but the “please stop harassing and threatening my family” like holy shit i am livid that people are doing this. they are the victims of this and people are going after them????? what is wrong with people. everything about this is disgusting.

since i guess i’m just ranting about everything about this right now also in relation to ah’s tweet on monday about cancelling the stream, the quote rts were so fucking wild. like you had people defending ryan and saying that even if the rumors were true, they would continue to stand by him. and then on the other hand people were calling ah cowards for having replies turned off and saying it was classic rt, avoiding the problem. like the news broke literally that previous night. an account is posting actual pornographic material in the replies of tweets about ryan. in what fucking world would they have replies to that tweet on. no way should a social media manager have to deal with that. and it’s been less than a fucking day you can’t say they’re fucking avoiding the problem when you haven’t given them time to actually come up with anything. i’m surprised ryan “resigned” as soon as he did. all of you have 0 fucking brain cells and no sense of nuance and i fucking hate it here.

oh and i keep thinking about how he was the voice for a villain this season of rvb and now i wonder if they’re going to get someone to redo the voice.

also i guess if you continue to post ryan content ill probably unfollow you like i get having a comfort person/character i really do and i get that the vagabond or whatever is almost an entirely separate concept from ryan at this point but i personally cannot handle seeing him on my dash anymore so nothing against you but i don’t want to see it.

[jjba-hell]

One Clear Moment

Am I a cheese-fucker or am I confused? Is it just a phase? I DON’T KNOW SO DON’T COME FOR ME! 

WARNING! Some HEAVILY suggestive content up ahead- never expanded on or detailed but it is way too obvious to not put the warning out there. Possible disordered eating (mention), mention towards trauma but not expanded on. 

Consider this a ‘post- vento aureo’ timeline where you and Formaggio escape your deaths and decide to elope. Yes, some real fluffy domestic romance shit. 

@lasquadraweek2020, @risottoneroo, @giogio-gucci-gangstar.... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I promise I’ll stop annoying ya’ll with the tags when this week is over

1,8 K words and a gender neutral reader- good luck

“You up yet, sugar?” You heard Formaggio whisper in your ear.

You wanted to answer no, just be content to press yourself back into his chest with a sigh. Just so he can hold you a bit longer. But you only grumbled a soft no.

He laughed against the back of your neck, wrapping an arm around you softly and turning you to face him. “Baaaabe-“ he whined softly. “Forget breakfast at home- let’s go out to eat for breakfast.”

You stretched out in his arms, hooking your one leg over his hip. “You said that we’d go out for dinner tonight.”

A rough laugh vibrated in his chest as you turned to face him. “Why not both?”

“Or all day?”

He laughed pulling you in tighter. “Come on, you know I don’t get days off very often. I just want to get out of the house with my love.” He drummed his fingers on your back gently then perked you with a bright smile. “Beach day.”

You raised an eyebrow at him- “You just want me in the least amount of clothes possible.”

“Not my fault your ssooo hot angel face.” His forehead touched against yours, his hand running down your exposed side before leaning in and planting a kiss on your lips. “Ohhh honey buns.” He groaned against your lips- hand slipping from your hip to your backside.

“Sweetie, be gentle with me.” He nearly pleaded as you rolled him onto his back with you on top, running your hands up his bare chest. A whine came from his lips as you leaned forward, giving him just enough friction as you leaned down to kiss his neck.

“Beach day right?”

You rolled off of him before his hands could find purchase on your body and head straight to the closet for your swimwear.

“Baby!” He called from the bed as you head towards the kitchen to prepare snacks.

“Yeah?” You turned to stand at your bedroom door, leaning against the frame.

“Your teasing is gonna get you in trouble.”

“Ohhh I can’t wait to see where that trouble leads.”

You spun around and continued on your own mission.

You had gone to the trouble to prepare two cold salads, some finger quesadillas (a family favorite of Formaggio’s) and some muffins you had left in the cupboard but the second Formaggio slipped into the kitchen, he simply nodded at the packed bag, nodded and added the bags of cookies and chips and some bottles of water before zipping it up and giving you a kiss. “I’ll get these in the car. Would you bring the towels and sunscreen in your bag?”

“You got the umbrella?”

“Yeah, sugar.”

It was only after he had disappeared into the garage that you felt your heart swell with the cute domesticity- the two of you had been through hell and back against Bucciarati but the day after Formaggio could sneak away out of the explosion that day, he faked his death and soon the two of you eloped and never looked back. You had new names and new lives- you worked as a nurse at a pediatric clinic and he was working as a bar manager at a club nearby. Things were good- so impossibly good you were sure that by some way you had made it to heaven or that it was all just a dream.

You threw on a light shirt and some jean shorts and hopped into the car with your husband.

True to his word you had stopped at a beach front restaurant for a proper breakfast before deciding to rent some surf boards.

You’d been living so close to the beach for so long that surfing had definitely become a nearly mastered feat. With a smile on your face you sat up on your board and waited for your husband to paddle by. “Would you believe me if I told you I’ve worked off breakfast?” He laughed.

You gazed up at the sun- it was probably around noon. “I believe you- it’s past noon. Need to reapply some sun screen too.”

You paddled back and tailgated in the trunk of your car- finishing half the water before setting up under the umbrella in the pristine white sand. The people started filling in the open spots on the beaches, the two of you leaning back and watching families and more couples than you could count. Formaggio looked up at you as you leaned over your own legs to get sunscreen over your feet.

“You ever wonder if we made a mistake picking this place?”

“Oh? And what would stop us from relocating?” You moved over to whisper in your ear. “Did you forget we’re not being watched anymore?”

Formaggio laughed, turning his head to steal a kiss on your cheek. “So we’ll talk where to next when we get home.”

You laughed at that. Was this what freedom felt like? At least you could admit that you forgot yourself but it was moments like this- that you could bask in the sunlight without the weight of the gang on your shoulders.

You had just finished the water in your hand when Formaggio leaned forward and kissed your jaw softly. You practically melted into him, leaning in closer, turning your head to kiss him properly.

But after a moment you stopped him and with a smile said. “We’re not going home.”

He gave an audible groan as he laid back into the trunk. “Doll face you can’t kiss me like that and expect me to behave.”

You turned back and hovered your upper body over him, with a pout you ran a hand over his chest. “But you promised.”

Formaggio ran a hand up your arm and sighed. “How am I supposed to say no to you sweet cheeks?”

You shot back up and got going again, making sure to massage the sunscreen into his back properly before you packed away the stuff back into the car and started your hand-in-hand walk along the boardwalk

You had occasionally indulged in some ice cream or a slushy together before heading through the supermarket closer to where you parked. You hopped into the car- exhausted by the day and head home. You had just packed the groceries away when Formaggio came to pick you up over his shoulder.

“Babe!” You laughed as he purposefully took wide steps to make you swing left and right over his shoulder. “Babe what are you doing?”

He gently put you down on the floor of the bathroom with a smile and were greeted with a filled up bubble bath and lit candles.

“I know you’re not really into this stuff but I thought you’d like to properly soak off the day.”

You turned around and kissed him eagerly, unable to stop yourself. “Join me?” You asked as soon as you broke away.

“Ohhh sweetums, I will.” He growled against your lips. “But I wanna get the pasta dough started for tonight first.”

You nodded eagerly and then slowly sunk into the water for a good soak.

Through the wall you heard your him put on the game for tonight- lucky for him it would be over before dinner, you just knew he liked some noise as he was kneading the dough.

You leaned your arms against the cool edge of the bath, wondering how you ended up with an Italian that liked making food from scratch- hard to imagine the bastard that would call and collect pizza and pasta at the restaurant near the squad base now refused to eat out. Sometimes you wondered if it was about his new identity he was so desperately trying to hide or if he genuinely liked making food from scratch.

The ten minutes of kneading passed and to your surprise Formaggio showed up into the bathroom with an anti pasta plate.

“You never stop eating, do you?” You laughed as he placed the platter on the lid of the empty laundry basket.

“I’m a growing boy, amore. I need to take care of myself.”

He poured you a glass of wine and joined you in the bath with a bottle of beer. One thing quite un-Italian of him but it was a little quirk you’d grown to love. “How’s the game going?”

You asked as you leaned out of the bath just enough to smeer two crackers with the sweet chilli cream cheese.

“Huh? How’d you know?”

You gave him his snack and smiled at his innocent surprise. “I’ve been living with you for four years, darling. I know you just want some noise while you’re kneading. Just like I know you hide the chocolate above the fridge so that I can’t reach it.”

He laughed at that, pulling you to face him on his lap. “And I know you sneak a cigarette after a nightmare but hate the smell of it on your hands so you hold the filter with a clothes peg.”

Your arm slid over one of his shoulders wrapping around him to bring him closer. “And I know you wash my smoking sweatshirt I leave outside once a week.”

“And I know you freeze the bread I bring home sometimes because you can’t eat it, which is bullshit by the way. If you wanna work off some extra calories, I’m sure you and I can figure something out.”

That mischievous grin slid over hid face as he brought his face closer to yours, noses touching as he pulled you close.

“Not in the bathtub, sweetie.” You groaned as he kissed up your shoulder to your neck.

He put his beer bottle down in the corner, not minding your warning so you put your wine glass down on the floor outside the bathtub.

“You’ve been denying me all day, baby. Please, honey. I’m so pent up.”

Oh how badly you wanted to give him what he wanted but if there was one thing you loved giving Formaggio, it was delayed gratification. So just as he had gotten handsy with your backside you stood up and stepped out of the bath.

He let out a strangled whine. “Hoonneey! I asked nicely.”

You sat on the edge of the bath with the towel. “Soon, babe. Trust me.” You gave him a kiss to the temple and got back up.

You picked up the plate he had brought- that was only finished halfway- and popped an olive in your mouth as you left.

He had often called you cruel for the way you teased but it had taken you a long time to realize how much he adored it- the suspense and the gratification made for a combo he couldn’t get enough of. You let him do the cooking for the dinner, sitting on the countertop in shorts with a glass of wine. You’d attempted to help him before and although he didn’t chase you out of the kitchen while he was working- but when you took a close enough step to his work, he littered kisses all over your face, stepping you away with a whispered. “No no no, my turn tonight.”

So you perched yourself on the countertop with your second glass of wine- every few minutes he’d come over, run his hands over the top of your thighs and settling himself between them nearing the end of his prep- alternating between gazing up at you with that stupid grin of his and peering around your waist to look at the soccer score on TV.

You sat cross-legged on the couch with your bowl of food and Formaggio next you as you watched the stupid soap story. Initially you two had laughed at the thought of being so domesticated you finished dinner on time for the soul purpose of having time to watch a stupid show on TV but at the same time it was comforting. To be side-by-side with each other when it seemed like you’d never have reached this point.

It was maybe also a distraction, perhaps a reminder to act normal under your new jobs and new names. His past was buried and burned in the street he had nearly died at and yours was buried under the blown up squad base.

Now you were simply a newlywed couple living a quiet life.

You packed in the dishes into the dishwasher and started the machine before cuddling up under Formaggio’s waiting arm until your show came to another boring end.

You lined kisses up his jaw, feeling low over his abdomen with your fingertips.

“Ohhhh sweetheart, please don’t tell me you’re teasing.”

You weren’t- he had waited long enough, so you silently felt him up just a bit more to see how well he’d restrain himself. When he let you do as you pleased without so much as making a move or whining you slipped down between his legs....

“I’m not teasing, sweetheart.”

[terrifying-testicles]

Sugar Daddy!Bakugou x Reader Ch. 1

Okay soooo I had this written weeks ago but just needed to get it typed up and wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it without part two ready. I’m impatient though! So, here it is! This is more of an introduction into why our gremlin would be a sugar daddy, so hold tight guys, the second part gets into the actual sugar daddy nonsense. I also have plans to get saucy as the series continues, since I wasn’t originally planning on it turning into such a m o n s t e r. Also, the line I put in near the end is an actual thing someone has sent me before. Go figure. 

Btw, the reader’s quirk is based on my OC’s quirk, Energy Manipulation and Absorption, which she will explain in the second chapter, I promissssse. Enjoy!

Words: 6.3k

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“Well how am I supposed to help you if you won’t even tell me your type?” “I don’t want your fucking help!” Bakugou huffs and increases his pace to avoid Kirishima’s persistent pout. Kirishima jutts his bottom lip out further. He honestly didn’t understand how his partner could be so fast and agile in such baggy pants. The two heroes continue walking through the city, on their usual patrol. It had been a relatively quiet day, only having calmed (threatened) a rather rowdy group they had strolled upon earlier in the day. Given how little there was to hold their attention, Kirishima filled the gaps with conversation. However, recently the topic had been circling back to Bakugou’s love life, which was, in Kirishima’s words, “almost more depressing than Denki’s.” The red head had been trying to goad Bakugou into giving him something to go off of so that he could help set him up with somebody. Of course, Bakugou objected. Kirishima was beside Bakugou in three long strides, silently thanking the Gods for the few inches over his friend in height. “Oh, c’mon man! You and I both know how lonely you are—” “I’m not lonely! I don’t need annoying people to fill my time. You do that enough,” Bakugou snapps harshly, refusing to meet Kirishima’s eyes. “Bro, listen,” Kirishima steps out to block Bakugou’s path, left hand raised in a placating gesture. Bakugou’s fists clench at his sides as he levels Kirishima with a ferocious glare, teeth clenched. Despite his hostile posture, he makes no move to push his partner out of the way. “The last time you tried to date someone it didn’t go that well,” Bakugou growls.

“But! I think you’ve let that discourage you! You should try getting back out there, man. You don’t know who you could be missing out on.” Kirishima gave a small, reassuring smile. Bakugou scoffs and crosses his arms. He casts his glare aside and notices a few people around them. Already tired eyes catch a couple of women who were watching the two of them from across the street, leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. “You really aren’t going to leave me alone about this, are you shitty hair?” he rumbles lowly. Kirishima shakes his head vigorously, not unlike a 5 year old denying that they broke their toy. Bakugou sighs dramatically. “I’m not about to have this conversation here.” He accentuates his statement by glancing back to the women across the street, who now scurry off at the heated look he sends their way. Kirishima’s carmine eyes light up. “You mean you’ll actually talk to me ab—” “Yes, alright?” Bakugou hisses. “Just— later. And you can’t keep bugging me about it after that!” The ash blond punctuates his statement with a gloved finger shoved into Kirishima’s broad chest. He only grins, nodding his head before stepping to Bakugou’s side and throwing a hand across his shoulders. “Excellent! I have this idea…” “Shitty hair—” Bakugou’s warning tone is interrupted by the shrill whine of an alarm. Both men snap their heads up to see a storefront about two blocks down blow out in a spray of glass, three figures jumping out and bolting away from the now wailing alarm. “Fucking finally!” Bakugou roars, feet already carrying him in a spring, Kirishima hot on his heels.

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“I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the last thing you want to do today but he’s too new. If he ruins another experiment I’ll throw him in the pressure chamber.” You sigh through your nose, setting your coffee on the cafe table. “I’m in town right now, so it’ll be at least fifteen minutes before I could get there.” You press your shoulder against the phone so that you can shake the two sugar packets, ripping the tops and pouring them into the black coffee while your coworker continues to grumble on the other line. “You’ve got to give him a chance, Aki, he’s only an undergrad. He doesn’t know just how serious our work is.” A sound between a laugh and something offended has you pulling the phone away from your ear quickly. “Why not have him do some observation, keep him busy with recording data or something?” you suggest, smiling to the barista as you shoulder open the door. “What, and have him mess up the numbers? I don’t think so!” Aki yells. You roll your eyes. You thoroughly enjoyed your days away from the lab, but always felt anxious for the disaster group that were your coworkers, worried about what they were up to while you were gone. Too many times had you come back to a poorly hidden disaster or a professor greeting you to explain what new things your lab had been banned from doing or using. “It’s just reading numbers and writing it down. He can’t be any worse than you and that radiologist from Ikeda’s lab.” You sipped your coffee to hide the smug smile spreading across your face in response to your coworker’s sputtered response. “That was only once and we paid for the damage!” You laugh. “Still. Why do I need to go in anyway? I’m not coming in on my day off just to babysit the intern.” You really put up with far too much, more than a supervisor should without bringing in your bosses, but it was never anything you couldn’t handle yourself. You would likely die trying to fix your lab partners’ mistakes before getting the Dean involved. They may run you ragged but you’d never put the lab and your chance to conduct research in jeopardy. “It took three of us to set this experiment up, and not counting the shit inter there’s only one other person in the lab.” “I don’t get paid enough for this,” you grumble into your coffee. “I’ll owe you!” Aki singsongs. With another eyeroll, you hum into the speaker. “Fine, fine, I should be on the train in li—” A loud rumbling draws your attention away from your phone. You and the pedestrians around you look down the street, where the sound of explosions and screeching metal grew louder. You ignore your coworker’s yelling, stepping off of the sidewalk to get a glimpse around the street corner. Another explosion shakes the ground beneath your feet, almost throwing you off balance. You watch people run away from the right side of the street but being 10 meters away you were unable to see the actual force behind the tremors. Your curiosity had always posed a problem for you. Plenty of broken bones and burns and disciplinary action growing up has only proven how dangerous the depths of your inquisitive nature can be. Most people in this situation would follow the crowd and put self-preservation first. You couldn’t be most people if you actually made an effort. So, as bodies brushed past you and orange light flickers across the glass of the office buildings across the intersection, you push forward. Just to see, you tell yourself. You had only moved forward a few steps before a loud crack shocks her into stillness. Glancing up, your (e/c) eyes go wide, the skyscraper on the corner beginning to bow out at the 10th floor, glass cracking and bursting from the pressure, two floors above and below the point of tension suddenly bared to the open sky. The corner beam of the building rips away, split at the place where it bowed out. The piece that meets the ground whips out and down, arching and then reaching around the side where all of the commotion seems to come from, and effectively out of sight. A strong impulse tells you to get just a little closer, to watch whatever mayhem was unfolding so near, but before you can take a step, you hear a scream above you. On the 11th floor, the room that was once a corner office is now destroyed, the floor falling. The floor flaps down, desk sliding with gravity until it tumbles out, landing with a loud crash on the pavement. You, however, only see the person clutching onto the disconnected floor, legs kicking around in panic. You look around to find the street fairly empty. Not only of people, but of heroes. “Please don’t get caught,” you mutter under your breath, slipping your phone into your back pocket before dashing forward.

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“Stay still, you bastard!” Bakugou propels himself forward in the air, heat blanketing the exposed skin of his neck and the back of his shoulders and forearms. After giving chase, he and Kirishima had taken two bank robbers down with ease. The third, however, proved to be a challenge. His quirk had something to do with manipulating metal, and Bakugou was absolutely fed up with being smacked by lampposts and narrowly avoiding cars. The fucker had even managed to throw a manhole cover at the explosive hero and Bakugou really wasn’t looking forward to the resulting bruise on his shin. The criminal kept dipping between different streets to throw him off, but Bakugou was locked on, refusing to lose him. Bakugou shoots forward with another blast from palms open to the world whipping past him. Like this, he was easily gaining on his target, who ran on foot. The man checks behind him at the rapidly approaching blasts, panic in his eyes and the set of his jaw. Swiftly, he throws his left arm out and his hand shakes, but he never slows his pace. Bakugou was so close. Another blast and he brings his knees up closer to his chest, a wicked grin curling at his limps as he aims his body at the criminal. Creaking and shattering drew Bakugou’s eyes up, barely catching the steel beam swinging out from a building and right at him. His eyes widen and his palms shoot out, detonating just in time to push him back from the beam. He lands harshly but keeps his footing and is running in a matter of seconds. He sees the criminal pushing himself up, likely having been thrown over from the blast. He’s almost to his feet when Bakugou comes up behind him and slams one gauntlet-clad arm across his back. The man grunts as he goes down. Bakugou grabs the man’s hands and keeps them in a vice grip in one hand, the other reaching back for the quirk-nullifying cuffs. “You’re gonna regret running.” He barely has them out of his belt when there’s a loud scream. Bakugou looks up to see a desk fall through the air to the left of him. A shoulder bag follows, and his vermilion eyes shoot up to catch legs dangling from the corner of the building the villain destroyed. “Shit!” he yells, slapping the cuffs onto the villain, harshly in his haste. He takes two steps away from the man with a threat to stay put, palms aimed at the ground and ready to blast him into the air, but before he can even get a spark going, he sees [h/c] hair just to the right. It takes him a moment to realize it’s a person. A person jumping through the air. Is that a civilian?! He watches her gaining altitude, knees curling up to her chest, arms aimed out, and she lands, ungracefully, on the floor below the person dangling. Now that Bakugou has moved he can see the floor falling out and the person’s failing hold on the edge of it. Bakugou blinks, realizing that he’s just standing there watching this. He’s a hero for fuck’s suck! He runs closer to the mess of glass and office decoration. Bakugou get a better look at their position: from the way the floor sags down if the civilian feel they’d clip the edge of the floor below them, but it would be likely it would also fall in with the force of their fall. There was also a chance of them tumbling over the side with the momentum. The woman stands straight and reaches up to the person with both arms, speaking to them, but Bakugou can’t hear her from this distance. The person turns their head to look at her and he’s sure they respond before the woman bends her knees as if bracing herself. Bakugou’s hear pounds in his chest, and then the person lets go and tumbles into the woman’s awaiting arms.

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You hadn’t thought farther than making it onto the 10th floor. Your landing had been met with an unsteady surface, the floor beneath your very feet warning of impending collapse. Anxiety inflates in your chest, wind whipping at the hem of your shirt, hair brushing your shoulders and you are distantly thankful you put your hair up on the way out of your apartment this morning. The person before you whimpers, clutching as tight as they can to the carpet, fingers drained of color with the strain. You step closer to them. “Hey,” you try not to yell and startle them, but the wind whistling past the maw of destroyed glass makes it harder to hear anything. The person tenses. “Oh my Gods, please help me.” It comes out as a sob and your chest tightens. You take a deep breath and take another step closer, arms spread out before you in an almost welcoming gesture. You quickly eye the space behind you from your peripheral, where the floor begins to bow in at the point where it once met a corner and now meets the city air. “Listen, I’m right behind you. You’re going to have to let go and fall back into my arms. I promise, I will catch you.” Promise? You purse your lips at your own choice of words. The person turns their head as much as they can to see you, eyebrows furrowed, tear tracks obvious on their cheek now. “O-okay. Please don’t drop me…” They turn their head back and tighten the grip of their aching hands momentarily. You bend your knees, ready to brace yourself for the weight. You hate your impulsive nature but remain thankful for the nature of your quirk. “Ready.” She yells. When you feels the person’s weight hit you, you absorb the force of them throwing themselves backwards, but still stumble back somewhat, right foot sliding and lodging itself in the gap between the floor and the steel frame, which gives a low groan at the force you unknowingly put out in your panic. Arms securely around the person’s waist, you glance back to check your foot placement. The floor that had been dislodge from the frame is sagging in more with the pressure of your weight pressing right into its weakest point. “Now what?” the person asks, sounding winded. “HEY!” You startle, craning your neck further to find the source of the shouting. Your breath catches in your throat as you spot a hero. Not just any hero, but Ground fucking Zero. You let go of the person and turn to fully face him, brushing away the hair that blows into your eyes. Below, Ground Zero is walking up, kicking glass aside. “What the fuck are you doing?” he yells. His arms hang at his sides as best they can with the gauntlets he wears, shoulders bunched up and what you know to be his signature scowl pulling at his lips. “Uh, well, I –“ you try fishing for an excuse, but are cut short by the jolt of the floor under your feet. The added weight of another person and support of the building’s frame quickly disconnecting have you struggling to think fast. You hear Ground Zero curse but can’t decipher it, not that you’re focusing much on it. “Jump!” You look back at the hero as he walks closer. The person grips your arm tightly. “W-what?!” they squawk at him. “Fucking jump! You did it before, didn’t you?” His tone is impatient, but you feel the anxiety hidden behind it, mirrored in the way your knees tremble slightly. “But that’s t-ten stories!” You bite your lip and glance to the person holding to your arm deathly tight, a tremor running through their body. “Hey,” you start softly. Their wide eyes cut over to you. “Don’t worry. I caught you. That man down there is a pro hero, so if I can catch you then you have nothing to worry about.” The frenzied look does not leave their eyes. “Come on!” Ground Zero barks. You look at him, then back to the person. “It’s okay,” you say before reaching one foot forward and bracing it on the empty frame. You push slightly to test its strength and hear the slightest protest from the floor beneath you. “Step up here, I’ll keep you steady.” The person lets out a sound somewhere close to a sob, shakily moving after a moment’s hesitation. They step up, both hands holding yours so tight you feel your bones creak. You keep your other foot on the increasingly unstable floor to provide yourself balance as you keep the terrified person steady. Ground Zero holds out his arms, and he looks ready to dash whatever way he needs to receive the civilian safely. You nod to them, and it’s still another minute before they let go of your hands and leap out. Ground Zero moves forward and locks his knees as they land in open arms. He ends up falling back onto his ass, but the person scurries to their feet and offer to help him up. The blond hero brushes them aside and hops to his feet. “Your turn, lady.” Ground Zero rolls his shoulders, possibly to prepare himself for the next impact. You puff out a laugh. “I’m good.” As his face morphs into confused rage, you remove your foot from the floor, swing it out, and use the one on the frame to push off. You ignore the ‘what the fuck’ screamed at you and focus on your landing. Blacktop comes at you fast, and a breath away from landing you flex your toes out, energy dispersing through the movement and the pavement cracks shallowly beneath the front of your feet. Rolling to the heels, you gaze up to your right, only to find vermilion eyes boring down at your. Ground Zero must have gone to catch you but didn’t make it to you first. He’s less than an arm’s reach from you, heat rolling off of him, and you wonder if it’s from his exertion or his anger. “Are you fucking crazy?” he spits. You frown and cross your arms. “No,” you’ve barely turned to face him when he’s suddenly right in your face, teeth bared at you in a snarl. “You could’ve died up there. What kind of dumbass are you?” “Well, they could have died, and you weren’t here.” You snap back, angry at his scolding. Was he right? Of course. Were you going to admit that and roll over? Fuck no! You didn’t respond well to most authority unless you were paid to. Ground Zero growls, a retort heavy on his tongue. “Zero!” His head snaps to look over his shoulder, murder in his eyes. Red Riot now stands beside the villain Ground Zero had been chasing, holding him by a cuffed arm. The ash blond grumbles and turns back to the newest source of his annoyance, only to find the space in front of him empty. He frantically looks around. You have already made it to the end of the street, eager to avoid whatever the explosive man had to say. You look back, seeing the stunned and furious look on his face, and hive a wide smile and a waggle of your fingers before darting around the corner. Hopefully he wouldn’t give chase. You pull out your phone, dialing your coworker as you slip into the curious crowd of onlookers and flee the scene of your impromptu rescue.

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Bakugou slumps into the booth, arms crossed against his chest and a scowl hard-set on his features. After the fight, they’d talked to reporters, did the necessary paperwork, and all Bakugou had wanted after showering at the agency was to go home to his cat and zone out to nighttime television. Instead, Kirishima had talked him into (“harassed” as Bakugou had put it) going out and grabbing a drink. He had to admit that a drink would help ease the irritation from being shown up by some wannabe civilian. Of course, Kirishima had steered him to a bar near their apartments and when they approached a table the redhead had seemed set on, Bakugou was met with the familiar cackling of two of their friends. “Oi, what the fuck, shitty hair? I thought you said this was ‘winding down’?” Bakugou huffed as Kirishima slapped Sero on the back in greeting. “What? We know how to wind down,” Kaminari feigned offense, scooting further into the semi-circle booth and patting the now open seat beside him. “And it involves shots!” the blond cheered, Sero laughing in response. “He’s already two in.” Sero took a sip of his drink, obvious in his refusal to down it in one go. “You guys better catch up.” The challenge wasn’t subtle, Kirishima laughing and looking over to Bakugou. On any other day, he would have put up a fight, or made a bigger deal out of it than necessary before partaking. Instead, he reached out, snatched Sero’s glass and knocked it all back. Tequila was not on of his go-to’s, but he should’ve expected the tequila-based cocktail to be the ravenet’s choice. Not that it really mattered now that it was burning down his throat and putting a different kind of heat in his chest. Sero made a noise of complaint. Kirishima laughed and stood up from the booth while Bakugou finally dropped into his own and slumped into the seat. “Why don’t we grab some drinks for the table?” he grinned at Sero, who just sighed and waved his hand at the other two dismissively as he got up to join his muscly friend. Once out of sight, Kaminari leans across the table to squint at Bakugou. “What’s got your panties in a twist?” Bakugou slumps further into the seat. “Fuck off.” “You’re mighty grumpy.” “I’m always grumpy.” “But not like this.” Bakugou kicks his leg at Kaminari under the table, but the shorter man had anticipated it and pulls his legs up to sit cross-legged. “This is more like…like ‘someone wronged me and I’m pouting’ kind of grumpy.” Bakugou growls half-heartedly. “I don’t fucking pout.” Kaminari hums a disagreeing noise. “Sounds fake but okay. You didn’t deny the first part, though!” He smiles brightly, pressing his palms flat on the table and folds himself almost in half to lean closer. “So~ who kicked your cat, huh? “No one fu—” “Some woman from patrol.” Bakugou snaps his teeth at his partner as he and Sero approach the table with a tray of shot glasses. “Shut your damn mouth,” he hisses. “What’s this about a woman?” Sero quips cheekily, sliding in and pressing his shoulder to Kaminari’s, smile wide and sly. “Nothing.” “A civilian saved someone and totally blew him off.” Bakugou lets out an undignified sound. Kaminari leans back when Bakugou slaps his hand on the table. “Shut your shitty fucking mouth before I do for you.” He growls low at Kirishima. Said man pops down beside Sero after setting down the tray, laughing all the while like he hadn’t just been threatened. “Speaking of women,” Kaminari sets down an empty shot. Bakugou’s glare was almost exhausted. “how’s your shitty love life going?” “No, nope. I told you cocksuckers I wasn’t gonna tell you shit.” “Actually…” Bakugou looks over to Kirishima’s devilish smirk. “You said you would.” He sounds far too pleased with himself, Bakugou decides, and he has not drunk nearly enough to have this conversation with these idiots. “Not with dunce face and horse mouth.” With a sweeping gesture to them, both men frowning harshly. “We’re a delight!” Kaminari snaps, taking another shot and pushing one to Sero. The latter nods sagely before downing his. Bakugou swayed his bothered gaze over to his best friend. His resolve wavers at those puppy dog eyes. He grumbles and snatches a shot, knocking it back, followed by another. The ash blond slumps back into his seat and releases a heavy sigh. The three eager men watch Bakugou expectantly. After a long beat of silence, he snaps, “Well, I’m not starting this shit! If you want to know, you fuckers gotta ask.” He eyes another shot, debating how inebriated he could be without this conversation going all kinds of sideways. Kaminari immediately goes to speak, questions ready to burst forth, when Sero holds a hand out and looks pointedly to Kirishima. The redhead purses his lips and holds his chin, contemplation creasing his brow. Bakugou avoids the scrutinizing look and reaches for the drink Kaminari had set out for, enjoying the offended scoff he gets in return. Kirishima hums. “Okay, how about” why are you so scared to try dating again?” Bakugou scrunches his nose. “I’m not scared, you moron.” “Then what is it?” Kirishima looks as if this subject honestly concerned him, that empathetic shine in his eyes that Bakugou claims to hate so much. The other two merely raise their eyebrows at their grouchy friend. Bakugou crosses his arms over his chest and huffs, looking at the dried water ring on the table. It wasn’t that he just refused to think about it. It was quite the opposite, actually. He knew why he couldn’t date someone, what he regretted in his last relationship, what he missed, what he, dare he say it, feared about getting into something that he’d only ruin again. “I can’t,” Bakugou growls and clenches his fist. “I don’t have the time. I’m gonna be number one and I won’t date someone just to leave them alone all the time.” He purses his lips, feeling the warmth of the liquor hitting him and trying to puke his feelings out in front of this many people. “If I’m gonna be someone’s boyfriend then I’m gonna be the best, and I can’t do that with the way I’m working now.” Kaminari leans forward, face scrunched in an expression of disbelief. Bakugou briefly wonders how many of the empty glasses belong to the loudmouth beside him. “Dude, that’s way less irrational than I thought that would be.” Kaminari sits back to avoid the half-hearted swat from Bakugou. He leans on the table again and says, “Why not just find a friend with benefits or something?” Bakugou sneers. “I’m not looking for a quick fuck. I can take care of myself; I don’t need to rope somebody else in just to satisfy me. Or to spread rumors about my sex life.” “I think you actually offended him,” Sero looks from one blond to the other. “Okay well, what do you want from a relationship? Like, if you could have it without the commitment?” Kaminari asks. Bakugou curls his lip and jabs an accusing finger in his direction. “Are you saying I can’t do commitment?” Kaminari raises his hands in surrender. “What? No! Bro, now way I just—” “Katsuki,” said man turns to Kirishima, shoulders tense. “what were your favorite things about having a girlfriend?” He gives a soft smile, genuine, a weapon more efficient than any other when bargaining with the gremlin. Bakugou holds his glare, then exhales, whole body deflating and sinking into the booth. Kirishima remembers talking vaguely with his friend about this when Bakugou had initially started dating his now-ex. He’d been so much more relaxed an open (as much as he could be). Kirishima knew first hand that Bakugou took his role as boyfriend very seriously and enjoyed many aspects that came with it. He shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess,” he scratches the back of his head. “I liked getting to spoil her. Seeing her light up when I bought her gifts or taking her out to dinner and showing her off.” Bakugou frowns, suddenly thinking back to all of the dates he planned, the trips he planned and endless effort he put into making her happy. “I liked getting to treat her like a queen and making her feel good.” He gives a half smirk at the multiple meanings behind that last bit. “Just wish it hadn’t turned one sided…” it’s under his breath, but the three of them catch it. Before he can spiral any further through memories, Sero snaps his fingers. “Holy shit, Bakubro, you should be a Sugar Daddy!” Kaminari, mid-shot, snorts and coughs as the liquor comes out of his nose. Kirishima dissolves into laughter, wheezing and smacking his hand on the table. Bakugou goes from a look of pure shock to absolute fury. “Ex-fucking-scuse you, Tape Face?!” Sero waves his hand around as if remorseful, though the shit-eating grin says otherwise. “Hear me out!” Bakugou glares him down while the other two try pulling themselves together. Once Kirishima gets his breathing under control and Kaminari is wiping up the liquor from the table’s surface, Sero speaks again. “I have a friend, another pro, and he’s on this sugar daddy site. Don’t give me that look, just listen!” Bakugou rolls his eyes and tries to keep his features as neutral as he can manage. “He found a sugar baby and he says it works well for him. She’s his date to galas, she does all that publicity shit with him, and he pays for outfits, lets her buy shit, I think he even pays her rent.” “Do they sleep together?” Kaminari asks with a look of bewilderment. “I didn’t ask.” Sero holds his hands up in a shrug. “My point is, if you want to treat some girl like a queen but don’t want to date her, there’s women out there who would be beside themselves if THE Ground Zero said he wanted to spoil them.” He wants to yell at him. Tell him how stupid it is, how low it is, how he’d never do something so…sleazy. “Don’t people like that expect sex? It’s the same as paying for a prostitute and playin’ ‘Pretty Woman’.” Bakugou crosses his arms again. “I mean, some sugar daddies do. A lot, actually.” Sero says the last part under his breath. “But! Not everyone does, and not every sugar baby does, either. Each person has different needs, I guess.” Bakugou scoffs, willing another refusal to come to mind. “I don’t know, man. It might be worth it to check out.” Kirishima says, picking out a shot. Bakugou grumbles and looks at his phone to take his attention away. After a couple of minutes, the rest of the group catches on that he’s done with this conversation, and move along to other topics, laughing and yelling like drunken idiots in no time.

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You crouch down, pouring the cup of food into a ceramic bowl next to the fridge. The cup wasn’t even empty before you feel a wet nose against your elbow, then the weight of your dog leaning against your left side. You laugh and turn to pet the red heeler. He shoves you over, losing your balance and tumbling over, almost knocking into the water bowl. “Rōrupan, you naughty boy! You’re such a bully, you know that?” You scratch his scruff while the brindle dog scarfs down his kibble. You stand and walk to the dining table, opening up your laptop and typing in a webpage. You walk around the kitchen, pulling out leftovers and assembling some sort of meal before throwing it into the toaster oven. Once the timer was set, you sit down in front of your laptop and sigh. “What do we have today?” you ask aloud, briefly glancing at Rōrupan, who could care less. You scroll through four new messages and grumble at each of them. All were from men with no tact in their greetings, coming on way too strong, one even saying: “Any chance you’re interested in a tall, attractive, and well hung married man?” You snap your computer shut, not even bothering to browse tonight. You would put more effort into your search if you hadn’t gotten home only mere minutes ago. You had originally joined the site as a joke, not really putting any stock in sugar daddies and that sort of lifestyle. Browsing through your options, you laughed at half of the men, coming off as try-hards facing a mid-life crisis and wanting to splurge on someone other than themselves – or their wives. You expressly ignored anyone who made their married status known, having no desire to be some rich fuck’s side piece when he had a loving wife at home. In the few months you’d been on, though, you had managed to go on a few dates, completely paid for. One man had bought you a beautiful silver evening gown for the dinner date with him. A couple of men offered to give you an allowance, which you politely declined at the realization that you didn’t want to be a reoccurring presence with these men. You weren’t a materialistic person, by any means. Your apartment was a simple one bedroom with decent amenities. It was well decorated but most of it consisted of gifts from family or absolute steals you found while browsing thrift stores. You spent more money on your dog than yourself, most times. That didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy gifts, though. Treating yourself was hard, but you absolutely lived for others tending to your needs and treating you better than most. You never looked too deep into that, ignoring the psychological implications of what led you here. Browsing may have sounded more enticing had your mind not been so occupied by one of your favorite heroes. You had dreamt so long of getting to meet the hothead, and this is not how you imagined it going down. You cursed your impulsive nature. This took the cake for “Dumbest Thing I’ve Done Because of My Cool Quirk”, which had previously been held by “The Tree Incident”, aka “The Reason I Can’t Bend My Left Leg All The Way”. You pull yourself from the table, grabbing your food and wandering into the living room. Setting the food down on the coffee table, you throw yourself onto the couch face first with a groan. He was so much dreamier up close, even when enraged. You turned your body to face away from the couch. Rōrupan trotted over, tongue lolling out of a perfect smile. You grab the throw pillow at your head and hug it to your chest. “You should have seen his eyes,” you complained to your pet. “Rōru, they could pin you in place all on their own.” Rōrupan plopped onto his rear and gave a dramatic yawn followed by a whiny rumble. “Don’t be rude,” you grumbled into the pillow. “If I see him again, I’ll DIE. He probably wants to kick my ass. Right now, I want to kick my OWN ass.” Your dog set you with a bored look. “I pulled some real vigilante shit today. You would be proud of me, bud.” You pull your head up and reach out for the still steaming plate. Sitting up, you furrow your brows and give a worried frown. “What if he tells a cop or something and they come looking for me? You’d starve without me, y’know.” At that Rōrupan leaves the room and retreats to his owner’s. You pout and huff loudly. “Let’s hope that doesn’t actually happen.”

[hxxgxx]

Picking Up The Pieces - Chapter 18

Reader x Mingyu

Chapter 18 

Warnings: a lot happens here, Y/n’s past is brought up again -- panic attacks, talks of emotional, verbal and physical abuse, online hate, slight mention of blood

The boys were beyond excited that they had finally won a major award and decided to treat the entire staff to a meal out to celebrate. They felt like they were on top of the world and you were just sitting back watching your friends have the best night they’ve had in a while. All those countless hours of practicing, going over choreo again and again, paid off and they deserved to have one night off to unwind. 

However, the world seemed to have another idea. One by one, everyone’s phones began to ding. Panicked eyes began to dart around landing before finally landing on you. Even the boys had become engrossed in their phones. 

“We need to go. Now!” Seungcheol said firmly. “Y/n, stay in the middle of us.”

You were confused, but the seriousness in his voice told you now was not the time to question him and immediately did as you were told. The boys quickly formed a circle around you, squishing you in the middle, hiding your presence from everyone. The staff quickly got around the boys, making a beeline to the bus. No one was talking and you didn’t know what was going on, however the sinking feeling in your stomach told you it was nothing good. 

On the bus no one said word and the air was thick with tension. 

“Kwannie, what happened?” you asked your best friend who was sitting beside you clutching your hand so tightly like you might disappear. 

“Not now,” he replied, not even looking at you, but there was a sense of fear in his voice. He couldn’t believe that this was happening and he was scared of what the outcome might be. He just wanted to keep you safe.

Once you got back to the Pledis building, there were swarms of reporters and fans outside. 

“Shit,” you heard someone mumble. 

“Take us to the underground entrance,” their manager said to the driver, who quickly did as he was told. The boys rushed to shut the curtains in the bus so that no one could see in. Once you were ready to get off the bus, Mingyu handed you his coat. 

“Zip it up and put the hood on. Stay in the middle of us,” he said harshly. His words made you wince, but you did as you were told sensing the urgency in his voice. 

Once inside, the group stayed around you and walked right upstairs to the conference room. There were already loads of people there and the boys sat you down in the chair at the head of the table. The room fell quiet as soon as everyone was in. Seungkwan and Vernon pulled chairs up right beside you and held your hands, getting ready for the bomb to be dropped. 

“Y/n, something has happened,” a person who you didn’t recognise, but introduced himself as the head of the PR team, began to say. “I just want to say that we are handling it and our press and legal teams are working non-stop, but we need to brief you.” 

Your grip on Seungkwan and Vernon’s hands tightened and you paled. Mingyu was watching you from the corner of the room, hoping that you would be able to handle what you were about to be told. 

“Y/n, someone has been following you....” you stopped breathing waiting for them to continue, knowing that that was not the worst of the news. “This person, has been following your for a while and has been taking pictures of your movements; where you go and who you talk to. An article has been posted exposing the pictures as well as your identity.” 

At the last part you stilled even more. The person talking noticed that you had realised what this meant and continued. 

“They have been taking pictures of you since you arrived in Korea it seems and bumped into the boys in the airport. We believe that this picture was taken by a fan, but passed onto this person. However, there are pictures of you with Seungkwan and Vernon at the cafe, as well as Hoshi and the other two outside of your workplace and at the convenience store. Unfortunately it doesn’t stop there. Multiple pictures have been taken of some of the boys going to visit your apartment alone. As well as when you all hung out at the river. They have pictures of you coming into Pledis every time as well. Whoever this was was seriously paying attention to your movements and interactions with the boys,” he stopped and watched for your reaction. “Are you okay for me to continue? Unfortunately, there is more.” 

You nodded weakly, clutching your friends hands. The boys didn’t say anything and were trying to process everything that had happened, just like you were. Some were pacing, some standing like statues and other sitting on the floor with their heads in their hands. Mingyu looked on from his corner, trying to be strong, but inside he was breaking. 

“Now, this person has gotten pictures of you and Mingyu coming out of your apartment and getting into his car. While they have pictures of the same thing with Seungcheol and Minghao, the issue with this particular picture is that you have Mingyu’s clothes on, well his coat. Now, Mingyu already explained everything to us and we know the real reasons behind it, but the article has eluded to the fact that you and Mingyu are dating and that the other boys picking you up was used as a way to hide the ‘relationship’. Now, based on this one picture, that is a far stretch, but there are other pictures as well that supposedly support this idea of you two dating.” 

This was the part that Mingyu was dreading and he held his breath waiting for the PR head to continue, his eyes never leaving you.

“From the first moment when you met the boys in the airport, there were photos taken when Mingyu had turned around to look after you as you left.” You held your breath, not even knowing Mingyu had noticed you that day. “There are also pictures of you guys at the river where it looks...um...friendly, let’s say. The picture of you leaving your apartment wearing his coat was, unfortunately, the icing on the cake. The he picture shows how close you too are, but to people to people who do not know your friendship, it has been taken as you are dating,” he paused, waiting for a reaction and the room was silent as everyone looked at you. 

You couldn’t believe this was happening again. You had been through the publicity before and it had nearly killed you and now it was happening again. The panic was starting to rise and Vernon and Seungkwan quickly noticed as you began to gasp trying to catch you breath.

“Everyone out,” Vernon said firmly and when no one moved he shouted, “NOW!”

“Hold on y/n. Breathe. Breathe,” Seungkwan said trying to keep you together till you were alone. 

Once the room was empty, you broke, sobbing while trying to catch your breath. Outside the boys sat in silence, listening to you cry, each one of them breaking with you. Their manager and a few of the staff who were close to you also stayed behind, hoping that you would be okay. You were such a good person and a great friend to them and you didn’t deserve this. A few of the boys began to look at their phones again, scrolling on the internet, grimacing at some of the comments that were directed to you. A lot of their fans were trying to be supportive, saying they just wanted to the boys to be happy. However, there were so many horrible comments calling you all sorts of names, claiming you were just using Mingyu for fame. 

“She doesn’t deserve this,” Minghao whispered staring in shock at what he was reading.

Mingyu on the other hand was not handling everything well. He was sitting with his head in his hands not looking at anyone. Wonwoo and Hoshi quietly sat down beside him, patting him comfortingly on the back. 

“Mingyu, it’s not your fault. You must know that,” Hoshi said quietly as Mingyu began to cry quietly. 

“It’ll be okay, you’ll get through this. She’ll get through this,” reassured Wonwoo, hoping what he was saying would be true.

At that moment, Seungkwan came out of the conference room, quietly shutting the door behind him. The boys all jumped up, looking at him with concern, Mingyu looking at him with his stone cold look again.

“You need to know something,” he murmured as he began to tell the boys everything that had happened to you. He told them about Jack and how he had been verbally and emotionally abusive towards you. He told them how everyone had come to blame you for all of his mistakes, explaining that when he would mess up in a game, you were the reason because he couldn’t focus. They attacked your relationship with him in the press and online. It was never his fault, always yours. When he did horribly or got drunk and was an ass to everyone was because you drove him to at this way. Everyone believed that he was the one being treated badly in the relationship, not knowing the abuse he inflicted on you. The boys listened in a shocked silence as Seungkwan told them everything. He took a deep breath before continuing. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t end there.” 

“What more could’ve happened?” Dino gulped. 

“Please god...no...” uttered Jihoon knowingly.

Seungkwan took another deep breath. “One night Jack really messed up in his game and got extremely drunk to try to cope. When he got back to their apartment, he began to ....” he paused, wincing at what he was about to say.

“What did that fucker do, Seungkwan?” Mingyu pressed through gritted teeth.

Seungkwan looked at the boy with sad eyes, “He beat her.”

Shocked and horrified silence fell over the boys, their manager and the nearby staff.

“He kept yelling at her and it wasn’t enough for him that night. He beat her and left her laying in a pile of her own blood. She managed to call 911, but she was in the hospital for a long time. The doctors were surprised she recovered as well as she did.” 

Mingyu was starting to spiral. He couldn’t imagine how anyone could do that to you. You were the kindest, most caring and selfless person he had ever met. “I’m gonna kill him,” he muttered angrily. 

The boys began to exchange worried looks at Mingyu’s change in emotions. 

“Mingyu. Calm down,” Seungcheol and their manager warned. “You can’t do anything stupid. It will make the situation worse, and after hearing what we’ve just heard it will hurt Y/n more.” 

He stilled hearing that, his eyes flicking immediately to the door where you were still behind with Vernon. 

“One more thing,” Seungkwan nearly whispered, “Jack is out of jail and Y/n got a text from an unknown number.”

“What?” Dokyeom gasped as everyone looked as Seungkwan once again.

“Kwan, what did it say? We need to know in order to help her,” pressed Jeonghan.

“Don’t think you can just run away and start over...you for sure don’t deserve it.”

“This is going to crush her isn’t it?” Wonwoo questioned, knowing everyone was thinking the same thing. 

Seungkwan nodded slowly, “I think so.”

Previous / Next 

Masterlist

[01010010-posts]

— I watched your ego within this grip.

RK900 × Reader. chapter two. word count: 1860. warnings: an AU.  about the cats&dogs AU

chapter one. chapter three.

a wolf? a wolf….?

this actually– made sense. all that peevishness, that haughtiness, no dog is so bad-tempered without a reason. and during the investigation? you had sensed he was testing you but you didn’t properly think about it. he wanted to see you stumble. to be weak. to make a mistake. he waited for the right moment to strike. and that moment was now.

part of you wanted to arch your back, maybe scratch him with your sharp nails, probably hissing at him, perhaps throwing the cold coffee in his face. but that was the suicidal part of you. the rational one knew better. knew that if you did anything, so much as a sudden minuscule movement, it would have been too excessive and he’d lash out at your throat. which, honestly, was not the best outcome.

you didn’t endure all of this shit just to be eaten by a cranky wolf.

so you did what was instinctive: lowered your ears – positioning your tail between your legs – and faced, once more, the ground. your neck was too exposed and you didn’t like this in the slightest but then again you couldn’t do something about it now. you had to play it cool. to fake being a scared and submissive dog. you didn’t have to fake fear, only the dog bit.

“I said: is it clear?” a low growl and the grasp on your shoulder tightened, making your blood run cold, fuck, was he really serious about this? he wanted an answer? it’s not like you could have replied ‘no’ without consequences. what a bitch, really “Yes.” it took every energy you had left for the day to say such a stupid word. you didn’t have any direct experiences with other wolves but you hated this one already “Good.” good? what the fuck was good about this whole situation? he almost sliced you in half and all he can come up with is ‘good’? the hell “I expect a great partnership from you, detective.” was he smiling? oh yeah, it must have been deliciously delighting seeing you tremble in panic.

he slowly let go of you though, returning to his upright position, his black tail and ears more horizontal – if it was even possible. you were sure by now that a bruise would form where he touched. and you hated that too. to be marked with such arrogance. you’d make him pay. you didn’t know how or when yet but you promised yourself. cats don’t forget. cats don’t forgive. especially you. because if with this stunt he thought you would go and cry into Fowler’s office he’s far from right. he hates having a partner? that’s perfect! you have now a new thing in common since, guess what? so do you. but you don’t bitch about it every single damn second. did he grow up or he’s still a cub? “I advise you to finish your initial report, detective. It’s the least you can do as you didn’t help much earlier.” oh now we’re making jokes? wonderful. he wasn’t that useful either. you’re starting to think that dogs aren’t so bad after all.

you give him a dirty look and you notice his disgust. it’s a small victory but it’s a start. fuck him and his attitude. you think that and turn away. leaving your back exposed to a wild animal is not very clever, you know, but he has to understand that he’s not alone here. he’s not the sole predator among those filthy dogs.

you check yourself continuously into the mirror. yes. there is definitely a bruise. you hate that. you hate him. and above all you hate how even in the comfort of your home you’re again thinking about him. about the fright that you felt. about how he could have lethally wounded you in an instant. about how powerful must he feels every day. not having to account for his actions, who would question a wolf like him? his line of work? his methods? nobody. he was free. he could do whatever he wanted to. yeah, maybe you were envious. you thought while removing your make-up, your whiskers hidden beneath the heavy foundation, the contacts already in their lens case. yeah, you were certainly envious. if you were him you wouldn’t have to wear such a gross dog-smelling perfume all day. even if now your scent resembled more that of a wolf than a dog. you had to admit, though, that his smell was not…. as bad as you imagined. you couldn’t quite put your fingers on what was exactly as it was only second-handed but it surely had some ‘wood’ and ‘pine’ in it. ‘wood’? in a city like Detroit?

nonetheless you just had to take a shower to wash it all away.

the next morning you didn’t want to wake up. more than didn’t– you couldn’t. cats usually sleep the day away. they don’t get up at six a.m. and go to work. they don’t get up at all. especially when they have such a shitty dog– no, wolf, breathing down their neck. quite literally at some point. despite that you didn’t want to be canned food so soon. and you didn’t want to be fired either. so you got up. put the cap on, tiny red flowers patterned shirt, trousers and all. disguised completely to live another day where you did belong but where you weren’t.

you needn’t worry, however, as there was someone who hated this as much as you did “Good morning, detective. You’re on time today.” ‘I was on time yesterday too, bitch’ but you didn’t say that, instead you looked at the two persons on his right: an old lieutenant sitting at his desk and a– a twin? did androids have twins? you never heard of robots made in pairs. was he the same model? no, there were some slight differences. for instance, the other one, hadn’t dark ears and tail. most likely he wasn’t a wolf. well, your partner did say he was the only one. which you didn’t know if it was good news or not “Good morning.” you said placing your bag on your desk. new shift means new people, you guessed “Results from the laboratory came back. The same gun was used on both bodies. The woman was murdered, presumably from the husband, who committed suicide shortly thereafter.” he spoke getting closer to you, placing the files on the blue table. thank you wolf-bot, exactly what you wanted at eight in the morning “Exciting.” you commented and his tail swatted. his LED red for a circle. oh come on, give me a break “I meant, you were right, what a good boy!” he rolled his eyes and let out a soft sigh, was he really an android? you doubt it with each passing minute “Much better, detective, but you have a long way to go.” he murmured for you to hear and pressed just his fingers on the paper, showing you his nails. you were not impressed, yours were sharper and cared for. did he need a manicure? you could have that arranged “Thank you.” what was you decided to go for. he didn’t seem the type to make a scene in front of others but you never know. you teased enough for so brief time and trying your luck so early in the morning was not the best tactic “Since the murder weapon is still missing I thought the best approach for this case was to inquire about the couple dynamic from their relatives. Unfortunately only the woman’s brother is available.” was he going to tell this poor man that he lost a sister with this tone? “I say we better go question him, then.” he agreed, apparently.

the car ride was the same as yesterday’s one. silent.

the major change was your behaviour, while at first you couldn’t care less about his appearance you now found yourself staring at him. in fact you weren’t fascinated by his aspect but rather– by his persona. he was definitely weird, there was no denying that. and yes, you could vaguely understand the whole ‘territorial’ and ‘threatening’, the ‘you’re new and I’m wary’, the ‘I don’t want a partner’ thing but at the same time…. he was definitely weird, yep. plus he was lone! you did your homework the night before, sleeping wasn’t much of a choice so why not? you researched that wolves are usually social animals, sometimes more than dogs, they have a pack, they learn from the pack, they live with the pack. they also leave the pack but tend to form one on their own. he didn’t. and he was prideful about it? “I’d prefer if you stopped looking at me, detective.” what the fuck. you promptly retreated your gaze and moved to face the window. was he smirking? yeah you bet he was surely smirking, that fucker.

yes, the car ride was silent.

the house was also silent. apart from the loud knocks he was giving to the yellow door.

no response.

“Maybe he’s not home?” you suggested, inspecting the surroundings with your eyes “His car is parked.” now he tried the bell “How do you know it’s his car?” you were positive that if this man didn’t open within five seconds he would have forced his way in with his shoulder. you were partly to blame “I verified.” your peering at the windows resulted fruitless “In my opinion he’s not home.” you turned to see his annoyed face, not the last and not the first of the morning “I don’t need your opinion, detective, I need facts.” gosh either he kills you or you kill him but please let this be quick “Then fact is that he’s not here, I tell you.” his LED ochre, pondering? “The back door.” “The back door.” you both said that at the same time and you both were displeased by the event. were you two on the same wavelength? impossible “Well, after you, partner.” you mocked but he was already past you, reaching the rear of the house. you followed with tiny steps “It’s locked.” you got to his side again, mhh, it doesn’t seem a very strong lock, perhaps you could “Can I try?” he backed up a few strides and watched your crouched figure, what the hell were you doing? “See? Not locked. At all.” with a gentle push you opened the white door “You picked the lock. It’s illegal.” you smiled at him, for the first time “Not if you don’t report it.” sadly your wink and your plea were immediately suppressed by a loud low growl. you instinctively bowed your head but soon noticed that you weren’t the source of his distress. he was too absorbed to think about you. angrily absorbed. his fur and his ears were lifted in a quiet warning. his face was frozen but you could tell he was cautiously sniffing at the air. his LED crimson. there was something in the house. something that made him unsettled.

[headoverhiddles]

Business Hours - Matt Graver (Josh Brolin, Sicario) x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: You can't stand your fellow team member. The feeling is not mutual.

Notes: Hey everyone, here is the long awaited Sicario fic I promised! Don't worry, there will be another one coming, I'm going to see the sequel tonight, so expect another fic posted tomorrow (ft some Benicio 👀😍). Thank you all for continuing to read my stuff! Means a lot. 💜

Matt Graver.

Even thinking the name makes you want to punch something. Preferably the man himself, but the entitled asswad was nowhere near you right now; probably asleep, as you should be. You had been out drinking last night to forget the shit you saw crossing the border. You were somewhat used to it. Make no mistake, it was a good call to volunteer you instead of your sister, Kate-- you're ex military, turned DEA, and a little more used to blurring the code of conduct under heat than she is. This being said, it was a little tough to see dismembered bodies strung up from every bridge, when all you're used to seeing is packs of cocaine. You think back to your preliminary debrief.

"So. DEA, huh?" Matt nodded, tossing your file down. "DOD myself. We go together like that..." he links his two pinky fingers together, and flashes you a smile. You look away from him."

Hitting the button on the kettle, you hoist yourself up on the counter, rolling your neck.

After that exchange at the debriefing, he had found you again, donning a pair of slacks and some lovely green crocs.

"Ready for some action tomorrow?" he grinned, and you hesitated.

"Tomorrow?"

"Oh, did no one tell you?" he asked boredly, popping in some gum, "We're moving out tomorrow instead of next Tuesday, so pack your stuff."

"Thanks," you grit out, and he comes up to you, staring you straight in the eye. He's only inches away at this point, and you clench your jaw. He just gives you that smug smile.

"No problem." He looks you up and down. "If you need a little help packing up, call me."

"Like I'm going to let you go through my panty drawer, asshole," you shoot back.

"Man, you're crushing my dreams here, (y/l/n)!"

You were rarely ruffled, but his blatant disregard for convention disarmed you. Reminded you a little of... well, you. You swirl the tea bag around in your mug.

"You married?"

You shake your head. "Never had the chance."

"Well yeah, would've been surprised if you said yes. How old're you, anyway?"

"27."

He grins. "Yep. Young and sweet."

You snort. "Everyone who's called me innocent in the past has learned quickly."

"I don't doubt it," he nods, "Chill out. I don't intend to make that mistake."

A knock at your door wakes you from your thoughts. You walk over, and peer through the eyehole to see the man himself, Matt Graver, standing in your doorway with his usual button up, slacks, and flip flops.

"What?" you crack the door open in exasperation.

"Morning, sunshine," he says, checking his 2AM watch time.

"Graver, I'm not in the mood, I've got the daddy of all fucking hangovers," you mutter, and he hums, coming in and sitting down with that shit eating grin.

"Say that again."

You frown, and lock the door. "What?"

"Daddy," he smirks, and you flip him off, pouring some chamomile tea.

"Would you like some tea, Matt? Thanks, I'd love some, (y/n)," he feigns, raising his eyebrows at you, and you resist the smile twitching at your lips, turning away so he doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing it.

"This is my last tea bag," you grumble.

"All the better to share with the guest," he says, and you sigh, pouring him a mug and setting it down in front of him with a punctuated thump. Joining him at the table, you shrug.

"So? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Matt leans back, and you try not to let yourself look down at the bulge he's got in those cargo pants. The fucker probably goes commando, which was even worse with someone that... gifted. He tilts his head at your question. "Eh. Thought I'd drop by."

"Uh huh?" you nod, "Business hours are tomorrow. Like I said, I'm not in the mood."

"Okay, alright, shit," he chuckles, "You take no prisoners. Here. Came to give you this." He slides a manilla folder across the table, and you go to open it. He puts a hand over yours. "Wait until I'm gone to read it. Then I can deal with all your annoying questions tomorrow."

"Annoying questions?" you repeat.

"Yeah."

"I wouldn't ask such annoying questions if you didn't give me such an annoying answers," you retort, and look down. His hand is still on top of yours. He notices that you've noticed, and slowly removes it, not without that smirk.

"What did you do before you became DEA?"

"I've always been DEA."

"Nah, I think you're just a private person. C'mon... I'm curious."

You take a deep breath, and give up. "I served in the army."

He sobers up. "Where?"

"Iraq. Like my sister's partner."

"I respect that. I respect you, contrary to what you probably believe."

You scoff, taking a sip of your tea. "I believe you respect very few people, Mr. Graver."

"Keen guess, and you're one of 'em."

You look up at him over your cup, and can't help but believe his honest eyes... and the way he's looking at you--

God, the tension between you two has been killer since you met. It seemed as if even the others had begun to notice. It's just his confidence, his carefree attitude, the ease with which he does his job. You wouldn't call it graceful, but you would call it smart.

"What're you thinking about?" he asks softly.

"You."

He's surprised at the straightforward answer. "Really?"

"I don't know what to make of you. You're a mystery to me, yet you're the least mysterious person on this god damn team. I hate mysteries, Graver."

"I don't think you've seen many guys like me. That's all," he says, "Guys who nail the whole, maximum results, minimum effort deal."

"But I can't figure something out," you mutter, pushing your cup away in frustration. Does he like you, or does he just like to play?

"You're wondering if I was pulling all that flirty stuff outta my ass," he nods, chuckling. You bite your lip at the deep sound, and rub a hand over your eyes. "Well... truth is, no. It wasn't all bullshit." He sits forward. "I think you're a fuckin knock out, and I wanna have you on every surface of this room. There, boom. The truth is out." He puts his hands behind his head. "Like I said. If you need help, I'm always here."

You blink at him, then slide forward to press your lips to his. He warmly reciprocates, putting his large hand behind your head to keep you there, and using the other one to pull you into his lap. You moan into his mouth, and he bounces you, stealing your lips into his mouth with a grunt. You reach down feverishly to unbuckle his pants, and he helps you with yours as well. It's as if both of you are racing the other to see who can get who undressed first, and he ultimately wins, yanking your pants down and off. You take off his shirt, running your hands up his heaving chest, and he does the same for you, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. You gaze down at him, your lips barely ghosting over one another's.

"You're the first guy who's gotten it on the first try."

"What can I say? I've cracked the code," he smirks, and kisses you again, lifting you up so that your legs are wrapped around his middle. You continue to make out with him as he holds you against the wall, using one hand to drop his pants. You cluck your tongue as you look down at his cock, boxer-free.

"I was right."

He gives you a funny look, before reaching down to grab a condom from his pocket. "Do me a favour, open this?" he asks, and holds it up for you to rip with your teeth. "Impressive."

"Why the hell did you bring a condom?" you sigh, wondering why you're even asking.

"I guess you could say my intentions were not pure," he grins, and slides the protection on. You bite your lip, feeling yourself get even wetter at the prospect of taking that. You had only had a few skilled and endowed lovers in your lifetime, and you had a feeling that this was going to put all the others to shame.

"Ready?" he groans in your ear, pumping himself in his fist.

"Yeah," you whisper, and he reaches down to dip two fingers into you, running them through your slick and then parting your folds. He moves his fingers up to your clit, and begins to rub as he finally pushes himself in.

"Ahg--" you fall forward into his chest, your arms looping around his neck tightly, "Ohgod-- Matt..."

"Use your words, honey," he coos gently, starting up a steady, rocking pace. His hips rotate as if he's swinging them, each time thrusting deep inside you. After the sixth thrust, you feel him reach your g-spot, and you gasp.

"There! There, there... oh fuck, Matt, please..."

He gives a self-satisfied smirk. "Enjoying yourself, huh?"

"Fuck... you..." you growl, throwing back your head.

"You're doing a sweet job of that, (y/n)," he laughs, and starts going harder, increasing his thrusting.

"Please... pl... pl... oh..." your clit throbs as he continues to stroke and rub and stimulate it, and while that hand does that and his hips hold you against the wall, he uses the other hand to wrap a hand around your left breast, squeezing and massaging until he moves onto the other one.

"Beautiful," he muses, and you moan again as he continues to take you against the wall. After a moment, he bites his lip, and spins you both around, setting you on your back, on the table. The tea spills a little-- neither of you care. He covers your body with his larger one, thrusting in perfectly, again and again until you feel your orgasm coming.

"Matt... Matt, oh!" You get lost in the headspace. "Fuck me, daddy!"

He groans, eyelids squeezing shut, and now he really starts to fuck you, so hard the table moves. "That's it... what a good girl for daddy... daddy's girl, hm? That's amazing, sweetheart, let daddy fuck you just right..."

"Mmm," you whine, grabbing onto his arms, and he connects your lips one last time as he tugs your hair back, exposing you neck for him to suck.

"Mine..." his voice vibrates through you as he marks you and repeats that against your skin.

"Please... Matt, daddy, daddy please let me..."

"Gotta tell me what you want, sweetheart," he murmurs, switching his quick, rough thrusts to slow, deep pounds as he holds one palm flat on the tabletop. You just about sob at the feeling.

"Please, let me come!"

"Don't let me hold you back," he smirks, pressing a kiss to the corner of your open lips, and you climax hard, feeling your wetness coat him. He keeps fucking you through it, until he's sure you've had your fill. Then, he pumps a few more times inside of you, shuddering and moaning your name. You hold onto him as he comes too, meeting his eyes. He looks debauched, and you're sure you do too.

"Two surfaces," he breathes, falling back into his chair.

"What?" you pant as well as he grabs his shirt and sits back down too.

"I only fucked you on two surfaces," he begins to smile, "That's a couple fewer than I promised." He runs a hand through his hair, wiping away the sweat on his forehead.

"You keeping score?" you smile a little.

"I am now," he says, and shakes his head. "I thought you were gonna punch me when I confessed."

"That was my first instinct," you tell him.

"Well. Me and my penis are sure glad you went with your first." You get up and shove him, and he sets off laughing. "Fuck," he exhales, looking at the time, "I'll see you tomorrow at base."

"Uh huh," you simply mutter back.

"And tomorrow night."

"Debateable," you huff.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow night," he says, and takes one last sip of his drink, licking his lips. "Damn good tea. You gonna have some more of that? You know, tomorrow night? When I see you again?"

"Sleep tight Graver," you roll your eyes, ushering him out the door. With a playful little wave, he's gone, and you're left to contemplate your job, your love life, your sex life, and whether or not you actually want to contemplate those things.

Fuck it. Matt's sexy, in every sense of the word. You could die any day, any hour right now. This is definitely what you need-- and he knows it.

------

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[fine-not-fine]

My review of ONE

Hello I’m Andy and I’m going to give my full honest opinion about the things in ONE I love. It’s giving me a lot of hope and something to look forward to. So let’s get into it. Characters: OFF was full of interesting bosses and characters. ONE has even more. Playing as a child is not a new concept, but ONE pulls it off in the best way possible. Doux is the son of Zacharie which is a character we know well if you played or watched OFF. This introduces a familiar element with a new one. This sets an tone of learning, which is vital for these types of stories. The player slides in so smoothly into the situation. Each character is introduced formally, but not completely. Every interaction feels special. These characters are much more than their roles. Doux- I can’t get enough of this child. He has the traits that make him so lovable while avoiding most classic tropes. Doux isn’t subject to being ‘perfect’, but he doesn’t fall into a narrow track of a character must be extremely flawed or extremely perfect. He mannerisms come off as endearing and sometimes encouraging to the player. I’m not even fond of children, but god I love this kid. His intentions are so pure, I can’t help but want to follow. Doux’s large eyes and overall real toddler like appreance helps. It reminds you, you are indeed watching over a child. Doux manages to have a cute overlook despite some otherwise monster-like features with don’t overtake his prime look. Doux can just as easily became frightening, with a look that makes the player startled and beckons a need of carefulness, worrying about Doux’s safety. He becomes scary while still sympathic. Buttons- While a silent character, there is something sentimental about having him on your team. A gift from Zacharie and something just makes me feel like Buttons belongs. There’s not much personality here, but he’s a great companion and I love this little plush toy just being around for Doux. The design is simple but deeply reminiscent of a childhood doll. He stands out enough from normal specters, but fits in alongside them. Blight- This character came at just the right time. He starts off as a merchant and through the game provides a sense of progress. You get to see him in the world’s you pass. He’s not overbearing and shows some honest interaction later on. He’s not exposed right away which is something that happens a lot. Instead his reasoning and expotition are slowly added. He’s the big brother type that was needed. He’s the cynical to counteract Doux’s optimism. This gives the player two views of the world they explore in. Blight also provides a center point on which the world that Doux is unaware of. His design is one of the more complex but fitting. Blight’s design is burned into a feeling of struggle and suffering. He continues on with it regardless, but its very clear. His features all show a much darker tone to the world and one could happen in it. He also manages to very much appear like a mistake when compared to what he was made to be. This becomes him, he’s not a carbon copy. He’s Blight. Which is cleverly shown in small design choices like the longer ears and differencing in face. Viola- God I love this character so much. Her interactions are delightful, like every other character in this game. She’s friendly and has a wit to her that makes her charming. She takes the place of Blight as a merchant. Her story isn’t completely known yet, but it makes her quite the yarn to unspin. She’s a smile waiting every time you go and buy from her. Her all around interactions with the world ake her feel more than just a merchant, which is something I love in this game. Her color choices are spot the fuck on and I love it. Pink and blue stand out on her well, while also having those white and gray tones. She’s so different from the other characters but somehow fits in so well. Her strangeness is captured in her design fantastically. Goutte- This lil fucker was a great starting boss. He has enough connection to start the bat off but not too much to overload the player. Having a boss like this is ideal, as overloading the player in the beginning can leave story telling fuzzy. He had enough in him to make his interaction with you one that was mostly out of anger. Though once defeated the spite is somehwat distilled. This set up a good pathway to more complex and enriching bosses. A very simple design but an enjoyable one.  Chahal- This was a great boss to fight and a wonderful zone. He was satisftying to watch, which the inner workings showing a lot about him before even facing him. His brief moments of talking had clear motive. He seems so relaxed. His possible fear or regret make him quite the character to try and understand. The green in his design is very pleasing visually. It’s very interesting where the option could clearly have been blue, but green is very pleasant. He’s lightly pissed off in a relaxed or cocky form. I enjoy it. Oculi- A very cool and calculating figure that leads into a lot deeper plot. His design mixed with gray/red/blue is very nice. Despite his design he’s not nearly as vain or high and mighty as I expected, but the change is welcomed. He’s even calmer than Chahal. He knows things and I’m all for it.  Hathath- The most plot based boss at the best time. This is were the story is needed most and he directs it perfectly. His zone and him a very much tied together. The horror and his apathy are terrifying and it fuels the plotline well. He’s the boss I want to fight the most. His relationship with existance itself seems to reflect how he believes his zone should be. His full honesty on how fucked everything is, is pretty nice. His cloaked, bandaged appreance always feels as though he’s hiding himself or his real self.  Corpse Batter- Probably the most interesting spin on The Batter I’ve seen. He’s put in a morally gray way. His past crimes aren’t hidden, but he is not empty of all kindness. His design fucks me up too this day and shows so much about what’s changed. His add-ons are literally in his spine. His outfit if very befitting of a reaper type. Laisser- I favor this boy more than I should have. This is the character that effected me most. The way he talks and the way he ends up will eat me alive everytime. He appears lonely, easy to push around, and sad. He gains my sympathy quietly. His need to have a friend made Dopple. This dependence shows up between them, Laisser needing Dopple to have company and complete his tasks. I have a hard time faulting this character. From hair to clothes, I love how he looks. He’s cute and his stitch eye and heart are my favorite things. His hoodie is something I’d want to buy. He certainly seems older than Doux, but he still feels like he’s growing and maturing.  Doppledanger- One of the most fun and confusing characters. He’s fun to meet but extremely terrifying in using truama to try and snag Doux. His whole design feels like a mimic in the best way. He feels and looks like something not quite of flesh. His relationship with Laisser feels split. He cares for Laisser, but has a very cruel way of trying to get Laisser’s goat. His shifting masks and forms are my favorite parts.  Specters/Elsens/Frog people- I just felt like adding these guys because i could. They all feel natural in their enivornments and the have small traits that make them feel live like. They’re really fun for background npcs. Pacing: The pacing in this game is so perfect. Everything is put together so fucking well. It starts with a sense of very light dread which evolves into a sense of desperate hussle. None of the story is spoiled too early and there is enough smaller details sprinkled in. It takes awhile to get to the main plot but each section is full of stepping stones to get to each boss. The stakes get a lot higher as the plot continues. Each zone is different and full of activites and extras that take away from emptiness that a lot of games have, but in a useful or enriching way. Nothing feels rushed into place like someone ran out of time and pushed a zone or event forward. Everything happens in keen order.  Design: God where to I begin? Mostly this will be level design. Adding extra elements to the zones was a welcomed changed. The ice, the park, the extra worlds, everything! Colors are used to an absolute t and it’s beautiful. This game makes usual nasty colors look fantastic. The moving backgrounds in certain places and the added effects are a nice break from the straight and narrow. People seem to want to stick too closely to the original OFF and fear breaking the lines a little. This stuns creativity. ONE expands the world far beyond the original, making it easier to invest in. Most of the puzzles and challenges come in a wide varity and it different ways than expected.

Artstyle: I could kiss ass about this style all day. It’s something very different from the standard and it works well with the themes. Everything can come off as cute or terrifying in the blink of an eye. It’s got a very memorable look and each new scene, object, or character brings out the style’s charm. I’ve always loved Fire’s art. Every character is strikingly different from each other.  Overview: ONE is one of my favorite games. It’s got a lot of OFF like mannerisms while having it’s own story, characters, and style that takes you throught the game. Even if OFF wasn’t really your thing I’m sure you could enjoy ONE.  Every inch of it is decorated in love and I am so in love with it. Explore the world and get wrapped up in a whole new story. Please give the creator lots of love! @chimakiisane has worked very hard on ONE and I completely adore it~ I know I repeated myself a lot through this review, but it’s wonderful and an expirence all on it’s own. 

[christaronthekindaauthor]

Rowan Dov was a well known name, well to be precise it was the name Do's that were well known, but the only the eldest daughter of the Dov household carried her own weight. The woman who saved her family's business from going under, the saviour, the miracle worker. Her father's industries were suffering huge losses, more expenditure was being felt and litttle to no revenues were being earned, The Dov industries, the giants in the economic market were on their last life, grasping for straws as the many factors in the business world seemed to overwhelm it.

That was until she came into play, with her mother's looks and brains and her father's cunning nature plus her own characteristics, Rowan who just finished her studies, for now that is, took over the industries and the tables turned drastically, the industries were rejuvenated, money begun to flow in and they were back like they never left.

But of course in the real world there is no sch things as miracles, the business world knew this and the inhabitants wanted to know how she did it. However Rowan never exposed how she did it, in fact her presence in the business world was so scarce that most people thought she was just a myth but were quickly corrected when they steeped on the wrong toes especially if they were Rowan's.

In one rare occasion Rowan seemed to be in a giving mood so she entertained the press and answered questions, but most of them were as shallow as a drying up puddle. Though one answer stood out.

"How were you able to bring the Do industries back to life." A reporter shouted from the back making the entire press conference grow hush as everyone wanted to know the answer every camera zoomed in on Rowan's cold brown eyes that seemed more of black than brown. Everything was quiet, all one could hear was the ticking of the clock which was the right side of the wall, the soft thumps of Rowan's pen that she was softly tapping on her table with and the heay breathes of some dude who sounded like he was dying.

If you had blinked you had missed it, and many cameras and people did, a smile domineering smile that apppeared as fast as it had disappeared on Rowan's face.

Ï just had to take care of some few rats." Was all she said before wrapping up the congress. Seconds after her reply, the crowd went wild with ''one last questions." and "what did you mean by that?" but it all fell on deaf ears as she stood up tall and gracefully left the room.

"Did you see that?" A reporter with the name tag Daffle asked her cameraperson who was trying to get one last short at the young elite.

"Huh?" Was her response to Daffle's question.

"That creeepy ass smile she had on her face." Daffle's replied trying to get the atttention of Miq.

"What smile?Rowan smiled? we gottta go through the footage! " Miq exclaimed.

"Calm down, it maybe a trick of the light." Daffle said to her excited friend who was starting to pack up.

"Yeah right! As if you are not Daffle who was blessed with the literal sight of the gods, I mean you can see even the microscopic details in any environment that are usually brushed off as nothing. No wonder you were a criminal eh reporter ? Is that what they are callled? Before you came over to the darkside." Miq replied.

"Geez you guys still call it that? Its so cringy." Daffle whined while following her cackling friend.

Later on they did discoer that they cptued Rowan's "smile" but when they published it, the picture was dismissed as photoshop. It seems that the public had an image of Rowan that they did not want to taint.

That was almost three years ago, threee years since Rowan broke into the busines world of course by her parents help, and secured her place in it, she was seated among the Big Five of the business world, things were now settled and if her calculations were correct she would have smooth sailing for the next five years, if everything and EVERYONE follows the business plan.

Things never go the way we want do they? No they do not and as much as Rowan, as a business woman, prides herself of being prepared for the unexpected she was not prepared for her fathers accouncement which he made uring the annual family dinner.

"Rowan honey! The elders have decided! You and Gabriel are getting married." Rowan can still remeber her drunk father's words and the "WHAT!" that all her siblings and mother repled with.

The elders were just the parents of the Big Five, stupid name if you asked her.

"You want US! To be asociated with their kind?!" Rowan's mother barked out while grabbing her hisband by his collar, her mother was a tall woman and although her father was also considred tall by societal standards, she still stood a head oer him her brown eyes nearly turning to brimstones at the words she just heard.

"Honeeeey! It good for her and us, look she's almost thirty her younger brother and sister are already married and can you imagine just how much more power the Do industries will obtain."

"But an arranged..." Her mother protests were cutt off by Rowan herself.

"Mum, he is right." She started while wiping the sides of her mouth with a napkin, after setting it dwon she continued.

"The Baim's have a great relationship with the West African countries which we do not but we need, by marrying Gabriel it is a great oppoutunity to expand our market over there, you know that they are had people to please especially when you have a woman leading your company."

The silence that took over the room was heavy and the atmosphere turned ice cold.

Rowan sighed, this always happens and she doesn not know why. Maybe it was her tone but whenever she spoke she could turn even the warmest savannah into a freaking tundra.

"See darling, she agrees." Her father said drunkenly in his wives arms.

"Of course she will agree you stupid man, she will do anything for this damn company even sell her freaking soul to the devil!" Her mother shouted.

In a weird way Rowan understood that her mother was telling her she does not have to do anything she does not want to, that warmed her heart.

"Honey you know that she is my daughter to right? As her father do you think that I would have agreed to thise with out taking her feelings into considerations?" Her father asked her mother tenderly, all booze out of his oice.

After a weird moment of her parents staring into eacch other eyes nearly making rainbows and flowers sprout out of thin air with the amount of warm emotions that evelopd the two of them, her mother released a sigh and gae in.

"Fine." She said shoving her husband away from her almost making him fall, and made her way back to her seat.

"But seriously dear the Baim's? Could'nt you at least picked the Faru's?" She asked.

" Do not worry my dear!" Her father replied, booze returning back into his oice.

"It is all accounted for in your husbands grand plan, you just sit back and relax." He sain seating back down while blowing a kiss to his wife.

Her siblings "dodged" the fling kiss with a disgusted look on their faces.

"EW!" They both said in unison, followed by laughs and giggles from their partners and children.

The rest of the dinner went on smoothly and arrangements were made leading to the pesent where Rowan is seated i her office with her parents and siblings waiting for the arrial of the Baim's. This was just an official meeting to recognize the marriage plans and if these damn people are late by one more second Rowan had the right mind to cancel the whle thing.

"If i am not mistaking Liam, but this meeting was supposed to start at eleven am right?" Rowan calmy asked her secretary.

"Yes Madam." Liam replied.

"What is the time right now Liam?" She asked

"Ita half past twelve." Liam replied, watching the calm facade of his boss. Her exterior was calm but the contionus tapping of her pen told him otherwie

This fuckers better hurry up or everyone will be having a bad week, Liam thought to himself gently clenching his ipad.

"Madam, the Baim's are here." the security from the ground flow buzzed.

The tapping stopped abruptly, Liam stepped back he sensed something was about to go down.

"Todd." Rowan started.

"Yes madam?" Todd replied eagerly awaiting his orders.

"It is a pity that the elevators do not work righ?" Rowan remarked

A second of silence was broken by Todd's rply.

"Yes Madam, they have not been working since morning but the problem is being fixed right now."

"Good Todd. Send them up please and tell thm to take their time." Rowan directed and switched off the buzzer after Todd's confirmation.

"That is a really bad habit." Her father pointed out, he was seated on her office couch his head on her mother's laps. With the sunglasses and the gentle massage by her mother to his temples assued her that he was nursing a hangover.

"Learned from the best" Rowan replied as she sunk back into her chair, closing her eyes her anger was sated. Just a little bit.

Thinking of turning it into a book.

[strainingfororiginality]

Chapter 12.7 - Damnation

Fear of the Water - SYML

You're dislocated, don't be like that

And you smile when you dive in, like you're never coming back

So hold my body, yeah, hold my breath

See your face when I blackout, I'm never coming back

The loft was dark but his eyes adjusted quickly and he found it a frantic mess. Even more so than it was this morning, with items strewn about everywhere. More paintings. More canvas. A pungent smell of dried paints wafted through the space and stung his nostrils. He moved swiftly to the far archway, tip toeing with ninja-like stealth towards an opening that he knew led to the bedroom. He wasn’t sure how he knew this, but as he stepped into the other room, he even already knew exactly what it would look like.

Open and sparse, the bedroom was organized, unlike the chaos of the living area. A large, wide dresser was in the middle of the wall adjacent to the door and a king-size, platform bed was in the middle of the opposite wall. He breathed relief as he spied a breathing lump of a tiny person nestled within its dark sheets. She was there and she was fine. Safe. He smiled as the suffocation of worry melted away, but then he realized what this meant. She had actually been ignoring him then.

Oh gods. He should go now. What happened was … It was … He should …

We came here to just look upon her? Though I do not fault us for such a simple pleasure, I do not think we should waste this … opportunity.

That incessant, internal rattling voice questioned his motives and he had no idea why he had risked his life to break into her apartment. But the creature posed a valid question. Did he really just risk everything to look upon her? Alright, Alex. This was now bordering on creepy. He sneaked closer. Close enough to see the details of her face, rationalizing that this was only to make certain it was actually her. But even now, as he stared down upon the sleeping woman, frozen by his own doubt, he wasn’t sure what his plan had ever been.

Clearly, he didn’t have one at all.

He might have retreated back across the ledge. He might have fled from this awkward situation. He might have done a number of things but something caught his attention, giving him the excuse to linger. Her phone blinked conspicuously from the nightstand, pulsing in the darkness and he stared the little LED light, urging himself to let it go, but his curiosity was irrevocably piqued.

Perhaps she hadn’t gotten his messages after all? He hoped … Maybe it was a misunderstanding? No. What the hell was he doing? He should go. He should really go.

Alex picked up the phone and was greeted by a lockscreen. Damnation. He should have expected that. He was about to return the phone to the table and the voice chimed in with four numbers and Alex hesitated a moment.

It is the date.

Did he delay trying the combination out of fear or was it out of discomfort? He doubted it would work. How could he possibly know her passcode? Could he have seen her use it the other day? As he tapped it in and the screen unlocked, his eyes pinched shut and tiny bumps flooded across his skin.

It is … our date.

At this moment, if he could speak freely, he would have asked: ‘what date?’, but that would have woken her and he digressed. Refocusing on the small device, he quickly pulled the notification bar down and saw that the blinking was due to an unread text from his goddamn cousin.

Be in the lobby at 9 sharp. A car will be waiting for you. x -- Ron

That … fucking … twat.

There was no hesitation in his next act. Alex’s lip curled up in fury as he hit the delete button. After the message vanished, he was taken to the Messaging Apps landing page. She clearly didn’t talk to many people as the screen only showed three numbers total. Ron’s, his, and someone with only two initials: EL. Hmmm.

Who the hell was EL? Unable to resist, he tapped on the conversation and scrolled through pages of messages that she had sent to this person, but they had never responded. All of the messages, dozens of them, had a tone of annoyance.

Where are you?

Why aren’t you answering?

You think this is funny, you fucker?

You promised me.

He read them all in reverse order until he came to the first once sent. The date matching the first time he had seen her in the elevator and Alex stared at the strangeness of it.

Did you send him?

Him? Him? Who the hell was--

She stirred in the bed and his attention rocked back to the task at hand. He swiped back to his messages. They had clearly been read and a deep sigh escaped at this revelation. It wasn’t a loud sigh, by any means, but she stirred again at the sound and her eyes opened.

Shit.

She recoiled with such violence that Alex also jumped at her shock. Dropping the phone, he clutched at his own chest as he took a step backwards from the bed. Her reaction might have just been because a stranger was standing next to her bed, staring down at her while she slept, but he was certain the ominous lighting emanating up from device, shining on his face in the utter darkness, definitely hadn’t helped her fright.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" Scrambling away from him, she was off of the bed already, her back against the far wall and her pillow clutched against her chest like a shield. Her face contorted, trying to make out the figure in the darkness as she continued to inch away. “Boy, did you break into the wrong pla--”

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" She was still backing across the wall and his arms went out, waving frantically towards her as she flicked on the light switch next to the bathroom entrance.

"Alex?!?" Her spotted face scrunched furiously as she looked upon him, squinting painfully through the sudden onslaught of light. He forced a smile and waved with a single hand while she approached him hesitantly. Once she was within reach, she struck him with the pillow across the arm. “What the hell are you doing?!? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME DUDE!”

"I’m … I …" He glanced around, his face flushed with embarrassment and he spun, noticing the two large suitcases near the dresser and everything suddenly grew painfully serious. “Sorry.”

"Wait, how did you …" She looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on his dark pajama pants and white, button up pajama shirt. Her brows furrowed in billowing confusion. “How did you get in here?”

"I …" He swallowed, scratching the back of his head. Should he lie? How on Earth could he possibly lie? He was certain her front door was still locked. Her suspicious eyes watched him as he surrendered to the truth of his breakin. “The balcony.” Her mouth dropped open slightly, her eyes widening as he tried to feign an innocent smile again. “You didn’t lock your balcony door. I--”

"The … balcony? You … What?! You walked across the ledge!?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Her mouth dropped further and she hit him again with the pillow. “Oh my god!” She was clearly angry and she had every right to be. She hit him once more time with the pillow and he took hold of the useless weapon, pulling it from her grip to prevent the action again. He tossed it back to the bed without tearing his eyes from hers. “That was … dangerous. What were you thinking?” It was no longer anger. It was worry and this gave him hope.

"I was … worried." He confessed without shame. “You weren’t answering and … I … I thought something bad might have happened. I … I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to scare you. I didn’t ...” He scratched his head again as he sheepishly chuckled the next bit. “To be honest, I’m not sure exactly what I meant to do. I wasn’t really thinking, I guess. I’m sorry.”

This was the first time he had gotten a chance to take her in and the fact that she was just wearing an oversized shirt. Her nipples showed through the thin cotton as hard peaks and he glanced away from the observation that she was without a bra. Shit. Focus, Alex. Focus.

"You need to go." She spied his intrusive eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Now.”

"I …" He swallowed. “You didn’t answer me all day. I was …” Hmmm. Perhaps he should have planned out what to say ahead of time. The way her face contorted with annoyance wasn’t helping him focus and he felt even more exposed than she was, even though he was the only one wearing pants. “I’m sorry.”

"For breaking into my apartment? Damn right you are. I could have seriously hurt you!"

He had to force himself to remain serious when a giggle nearly broke free as she threatened him. "No. That’s not what I mean. I’m sorry about this morning." He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have left like I did.”

"Yes." She nodded. “Yes, you should have. You’re a father. You have a daughter. You have respon--”

"I don’t care. That doesn’t matter!" Ooooof. That wasn’t exactly true and nor was it what he should have said, if he had time to parse his words before they flew from his heart without restraint. “I mean … that’s not what I meant.” Oh good gods.

"You need to go now."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes as he tried to steer the conversation away from his family. He felt like such a bloody scoundrel right now, but once he opened his eyes to her again, he didn’t care one single bit. "We should talk about what happened. Please."

"What happened?" She laughed. “What happened was a mistake.”

"Please don't say that." He had been so very worried that she would say that. Each text he sent, he dreaded that that would be the response and now his insides cringed as his insecurities came to fruition. “I really don’t feel it was a mistake.”

Ancient Light - Allman Brown

Ghosts

Their voices are resting

In your bones

And the river of time

Love is all that's left to lose

Love is all that's left to lose

Lust, love, I'm not alone anymore

Lust, love, I'm not alone anymore

This ancient light

"But it was…"

"No." Alex reached for her arm and she stepped back. “You wouldn’t be saying this if I hadn’t left.”

"Yes I would."

"I don’t believe you."

"It’s O.K. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault." It was his turn to step back and she didn’t follow him in his retreat. She stood solemnly, gripping her hands in front of her as she tried to explain her shame. “It’s not your fault you’re here. It’s mine. I’m sorry.”

"Your fault?" He squinted at the absurdity of her words. “What on Earth are you--”

"This isn’t real." She pointed between them. “You just don’t realize that yet. But don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault. None of this is--”

"But Ron is real?" Alex laughed. His anger verbally expressed as he snorted his cousin’s name. “He’s an arsehole. Trust me. I know him.”

"But that’s just it. You don’t know him. Not really. It’s not--"

"What are you bloody on about?" He scoffed at her statements. “I’ve known him for far longer than you and yes, he’s quite an arsehole. He’ll just use you.”

"Whatever you remember, Alex, he’s not really like that." She took a deep breath. “But it doesn’t matter, because he’s my responsibility, just like your family is yours.”

"Your responsibility?" He chuckled at the thought of it. Ron could definitely take care of himself. “Trust me, he’s a grown man and he doesn’t--”

"He’s more real than …" Her eyes scrutinized him and Alex felt indescribably exposed. “I mean, he’s more like me than …” She didn’t even believe her own words and his lip curled up furiously. “He’s my responsibility.”

"You don’t love him." Alex stated it as fact. There was no doubt in his tone. His belief in those words were absolute and unwavering. “It’s obvious.”

"Love?" She mocked the word, almost laughing at it. “Love?” She repeated it with bitter animosity. “And what?” She pointed at him and then to herself and then back to him again. “You think this is love? I don’t even know you.”

"I don’t know what this is." He put considerable emphasis on the word this, pressing his tongue against his teeth as he hissed it. “I don’t know what we are.” He was quick to respond, but he didn’t really believe his own words. He did know. He was certain of it. “But I know you don’t want him. You’ve refused him for six months.”

"What do you know? You don’t know what’s happened between us." She seemed almost insulted by his accusation, but he could only smile, knowing what Ron had disclosed to him that very afternoon. That nothing had occurred between them. Nothing. Not even a kiss, much to Ron’s dismay. Even after six months of his cousin’s unrelenting pursuit. “You don’t know me. You don’t know anything. But it doesn’t matter because … ” She took a breath, looking away from him as she spoke. “I don’t love you either, Alex. Or don’t you get that yet?”

"Get it?" His lips curled with annoyance. “Get what? Explain to me … Explain it to me like I’m five.”

"You think its you?! You think this … is because of you?" She breathed deeply. “It’s because … you remind me of him.”

"No." Yes. He knew this was fact, and yet, somehow, even in the midst of his impressive pride, he wasn’t insulted in any way. “It doesn’t matter.” It did matter and he was strangely glad. “I don’t care.” He did care. He just didn’t comprehend why yet. He stepped forward and she pulled back, trying to flee. Trying to run. No. He gripped her arms and turned her back to face him. “I don’t care.”

"I do!" She jerked herself from his hands and took several deep steps, backing away from him. “I do care. It’s fucked up … it’s unacceptable. It’s …”

"It doesn’t matter. I don’t care."

"That is messed up. Why don’t you care?!" He couldn’t answer that question. “You think its ok that when I look at you … I only see him. It’s torture.”

"I don’t care." He wasn’t sure why his pride wasn’t kicking him in the balls right now. In fact, this confession only made him want to stay even more. In fact, this confession only helped to solidify his blossoming affection. “As long as you are looking at me … I don’t care why.”

"Why?" She couldn’t grasp his determination. Shaking her head at his foolish words, he could tell that she felt sorry for him. “You’re a nice guy.” Hmmmmm. This was the second time she gave him that title and he hated it now as much as he had the first time she used it. “You deserve better than that. You deserve better than someone … like me.”

"Why?" He repeated her question. “Because … what happened in there.” He pointed towards the kitchen. “I felt it. I … “ He touched his chest, pointing to his sternum before he next pointed to hers. “I know you felt it too. I know you--”

"What happened in there? You mean when we were fucking?" Her lower lip quivered with the words. “In my head, Alex, I wasn’t fucking you … I was fucking him.” Her hands flew to her mouth and she covered it with shame. “I was imagining him.”

These words hit him like a primal blow. All at once, every bit of air was expelled from his lungs and his entire body ached. The pain flooded all of his extremities and then consolidated into the pit of his stomach. He was certain he might wretch all over her clean floor as the agony prevented him from taking a breath.

Had he ever felt anything so torturous before? Oh gods …

These are just words.

"I’m sorry." His face contorted and she read the anguish she had caused. “I’m no different than he was. I used you to feel something ... just like he used me. I had no right. I’m so sorry.”

She seeks to drive us away. As we once did to her.  At any cost …

She stepped forward and he found himself unable to move, even as she condescendingly gripped his arm, trying to console him in an incredibly patronizing way. Finally, he forced a single word out. "No."

"Alex--"

"No." He spoke again and anger replaced his torment. Jerking his arms out of her grip in a childish fit, he thrust his lower lip out in a pout. He knew he was being a child. He had no right to act this way, but that didn’t stop his fit from continuing. The only thing he was missing now was to stamp his feet. He would, at the very least, hold that urge back. Instead, he shook his head back and forth, refusing her. “No. It doesn’t matter.”

"You need to go."

"No." He took another step backwards, glancing to the side, at the two large suitcases and he shook his head again. Refusing it. Protesting it. “Nope.” The word was firm and immature and he didn’t care a single bit. He wasn’t going. In fact, he considered taking the suitcases and chucking them off the balcony if she argued further.

"You’re happy, Alex. Why would you want to mess that up? For someone like m--"

"Don’t change the sub--" The verbal argument continued as they swiftly interrupted each other.

"You have a family. You have a … beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter and--"

"Don’t use them as an excuse to push me away."

"What the fuck?! Use them to push you away? You’re MARRIED!" Her voice raised sharply. He quickly brought his index finger to his lips, to encourage her to quiet. Thin walls. Thin walls. But he regretted the action as that actually disproved what he was just trying to convey to her. She watched him glanced back towards his apartment and she shook her head. “Exactly. See what I mean.”

"No."

"Please. This isn’t about you. It’s not about you." Her voice trembled delicately. “I need to let him go … Just like he let me go.” It took every ounce of her control to not burst into tears and he hoped she wouldn't. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to handle that. “Everytime I look at you, I see hi--”

"Let you go? I thought you said he died?" He wasn’t intending to catch her in a lie, but it didn’t make sense to him, until he uttered the question out loud and her lips pursed shut, unable to answer. And then the tears did flow, welling up immediately as he answered his own question. “He took his own life?”

Oh gods.

"I wasn’t enough for him to stay." Her arms crossed and she gripped her own biceps as her nose began to run. “Please go home, Alex.” She wiped the snot and tears away with the back of her hand, her words were nearly gibberish behind the crying. “Go back to your beautiful wife and daughter. Go back to your perfect life and your perfect family. I’m done breaking. I just want to heal now.”

"I … don’t … " He didn’t want it. He didn’t want that … anymore. Or possibly ever. And who defines perfect? What does that word even mean? Did she mean it to describe boring? Because that’s all he saw awaiting him on the other side of that thin wall. “No. NO. Let me show you how I’m different. Let me show you why I’m not him. Let me--”

"This morning, you said to send you away … You said to ask you to leave. So I am …"

"That was before--" He regretted his words. He regretted leaving as he had. He regretted many things right now and he wished to explain himself, but she interrupted him. Damn her defiance.

"Go." She pointed towards the living area. “Go home, Alex.”

"No." He shrugged off her words. He ignored her commands. He refused her rejection. “No.” He approached her again. Unyielding. Unrelenting. Unconquerable.

Her words had definitely torn at his insides. They clawed and bit savagely at his beating heart, and yet, on some level, he found them motivating. On some strange level, he found them relieving. And on the most important level, because of them, because of why she wished to reject him, he was inspired to stay. How selfish was this? Was it self-loathing or was it simply his ridiculous and unyielding confidence that caused her honest confession to give him ... hope.

"What’s wrong with you?" She sniffled and pouted. Pointing at the door again, she stepped away from him. “Why can’t you just take the hint?”

"I’ve always been a bit pig-headed." He smiled as he halved the distance between them. “It’s how I was made.” He stole the last sentence from the old woman down the hall and it felt wickedly accurate.

"I said no. Alex … no." She retreated, but he was upon her and he reached up to touch her. He was surprised at her sudden reaction as her palm connected shockingly hard with the side of his face. The noise was easily more painful than the actual force of her slap and her hand flew to cover her mouth as his own fell agape.

Their eyes grew wide in unison and Alex’s own hand flew to his tender cheek. Clearly they were both as shocked as the other and as her fingers dropped away from her lips, she giggled once. Just the once and then her face fell completely serious again as the situation sunk in. "Oh my gosh …" Stepping forward, she touched the back of his hand, which still shielded the skin of his cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know … I don’t know where that came from … I got caught up in the moment … Oh my gosh, I’m sor--”

He was actually glad that she was touching him, even under the violent circumstance and he was torn at whether to take the situation seriously. That single giggle both confused and relieved him. His hand slipped out from under hers, allowing her fingers to touch his face directly. "Did that make you feel better?"

"I … I’m sorry." He could see the shame of the question caused her and he understood the answer. Yes. It actually had. On some level, it really had. She was angry and frustrated and … out of control. “You didn’t deserve that. I’m so--”

"Did he deserve that?" The answer to this question was as obvious as the last.

"It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t take that out on you ..." Her eyes were a flurry of torment. Her brows pinching together and her white sclera reddened as she fought the inevitable tears again. “I’m not a good person.”

"We’ve already been over this." He smiled at her, wiping the wetness off her cheek. “None of us are.” The next words rushed out of him as he felt her body tense. She was about to pull away. He could feel it. “I’m sorry.”

"No. You didn’t do anything. That’s what I keep saying, you have nothing to be sor--" She attempted to reject his apology, supplanting it with her own as she shook her head from side to side as he leaned his face into the soft palm of her touch.

"I’m sorry … for leaving." He could have qualified it further. He could have said this morning, but something felt fundamentally honest at just the simple way he had said it. “And I’m sorry I won’t leave now … even though you demand it so.” His hand pressed against the back of hers, holding her hand against his face. This was important but he didn’t understand why, not fully. Not yet. He sought redemption from her for something far more important than just this morning. “I’m not leaving again. Ever.”

"Please … I can’t …" She attempted a retreat but he was expecting it. A single step back and he followed, holding her hand in place against his cheek as his stepped with her. “Not again.”

"Hit me again." He felt he needed to be punished. “If that is what you need, then hit me again. But I’m not leaving.” He felt her anger towards him was justified. “Hit me until you’ve no anger left. Hit me until your affection is all that remains. I will allow it.”

"I … No." She responded to him softly as she took another step away and then he took a matching one. Unable to allow her more than a few feet of distance from him, he pursued. She would run out of space soon. The wall was close behind her. “I don’t want to hit you.”

"Then what … pray tell …" He smiled as her back touched the wall and he placed his palms on the concrete surface on either side of her. “... do you wish to do with me then?”

"Alex …" Her protest was weak and unbelievable. She pinched her eyes shut as he leaned down to her, bringing his nose to the side of her head and breathing her in deeply before rattling faintly as the air escaped from his chest. That smell. Heavenly.

His hands slid down arms, over her back, down and past her hips as they grabbed mid thigh. He raised her up effortlessly into his complete control, bringing her legs around his torso. He grinned when she clenched around him.

"I’m sor--" Her eyes locked onto his.

"Enough. No more apologies."

And then he kissed …

Oh gods he kissed …

He was laying her back down on the bed. She was pulling his shirt over his shoulders. This was so much better than the kitchen island. The mattress was soft and large. He could absolutely show her greater attention here and satiate her owns needs along with his own. His body hardened sharply at even the thought of her possible taste and a small moan escaped as the desperate need to be within her washed over him.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Her question was accusatory, but she reacted positively to all his touches, her body moving against him while his right hand traced its way down and across her shirt.

"Because I ache to feel you … I need to feel you." Burrowing underneath her night shirt, he began to push his needy fingers down under the top elastic band of her briefs. His mouth found hers again, his tongue brushing hers. He danced in her eyes until she shut them and he gripped her chin firmly, shaking it gently. “No.” She open her eyes and looked at him. “I want your eyes open this time. I want you to see me … this time. Please … ” She obeyed his request and his mind was a flurry of desire and agony. He was inches away from touching her warm and moist flesh when the strange and foreign words escaped his lips. “Mea est …”

Semper.

In perpetuum.

"What did you just say?" She pulled back.

"What?" Uh oh. What had he done now? Damnation!

"What did you …" Confusion and torment riddled her square face. The next word was a question, but she would only get it partially out ... “Quint--?”

A loud knock echoed through the flat and both turned in unison to stare at the bedroom door. Alex’s lip curled up with annoyance and he looked back to her, his face full of accusation. "Who the hell is that?! Are you … are you expecting someone?!?" His jealousy reared its ridiculous head and his voice was full of disdain.

"What?!? No, I’m not! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She wiggled up, scrambling across the sheets to be out from under him and he pulled back as she softly slapped his arm across the right bicep. “I was sleeping, you jerk!”

Hmmmm. That was a fair point. "Then who is it?"

She was already up and heading towards the living room to find out. He pulled his shirt back on, adjusting the unyielding hardness in his cotton pants as he followed her to the front door. The knock sounded again and this time it was followed by someone ringing the doorbell. Quite rude at three AM. He watched as she struggled to her tiptoes, looking through the little hole, before whipping back around as she mouthed the panicked words to him: "It’s your wife!”

No. There was no way. Alex was at the door in an instant, pushing her to the side as he gazed through the hole. Sure enough. Ana stood, her arms crossed over her silk robe, staring crossly towards the peephole.

Damnation.

"I can see you!" Ana called out to the door and Alex shrieked back, glancing at Elaine as he shared in her panic. Oh gods.

"Hold on! Gimme a second." Elaine yelled to the door and then mouthed to him: “HIDE!”

Alex looked around and around, his mind a flurry of dread, spinning as he tried to decide where to put himself. He began to move towards the balcony and as he moved clumsily in his overly alarmed state, his foot grazed the pile of canvases leaning in a group against the wall. The painting on the far end fell to the ground with a muted thud, exposing its subject to him and he gasped.

Holy … shit. It was that … that thing. It was … his eyes blurred and everything seemed to sway slightly as he looked upon the canvas. The figure was hooded with its white skin and dark stripes and pointed ears and … cold eyes.

He would have continued to stare at it, mouth agape, had she not snapped her fingers loudly and diverted his attention back to her. She shrugged wildly and pointed to the bedroom, but he turned and continued to the balcony. Snapping her fingers several more times, he glanced back to see her furiously pointing to the bedroom and shaking her head at the balcony, but he ignored it. Once he was out on the small patio, he slid the door quietly shut and stood off to the side so that he wouldn’t be visible.

Good gods. He was such a piece of shit, wasn’t he?

The deadlock clicked and the door was less than an inch open when Ana pushed on it forcefully, causing the short, fat woman to take several steps out of the way of the door’s swing. Ana barged into the space.

"Where is he?" She demanded immediately, surveying the apartment with a sweeping look before she turned her angry sights back to the disheveled other woman.

"Excuse me?" Elaine raised her eyebrow. “What the f--”

"Don’t you fucking lie to me." Ana waved a nasty finger down into the pudgy woman’s face, mere inches from whacking her on her button nose. “I know he’s here. Is he hiding?”

"Who the fuck are you talking abou--" Elaine stared at the finger, nearly crossing her eyes as she focused on it and Ana pulled her hand back as the woman’s face grew serious and concerningly annoyed.

"Whatever … I’ll find him myself then." She sidestepped around the woman and began to dart around the space, looking behind the couch first before she approached the kitchen next and checked the other side of the island. She opened the coat closet next and then headed for the powder room.

"Get out of my apartment." Elaine didn’t follow her in her mad search of the space. The woman just stood at the door and her tone grew firm as Ana headed for the bedroom. She stepped in and checked each side of the bed, then the closet and last the bathroom and its enclosed loo. Nothing. She found the woman standing in exactly the same place when she came back into the living area.

Ana spun around, looking for any other nook or cranny that she might have missed and she spied the balcony. She laughed as she stepped towards it and the quiet woman took a single step forward and Ana felt more justified and confident than she had before. "Out here, is he?" Sliding the glass door all the way open she thrust her head out, expecting to to find something, expecting to scream “Gotcha!” but as she turned from left to right, to survey the mostly barren patio, she saw nothing.

Hmmmm. She slid the door back shut and turned to address the other woman again, who was still staring at the patio blankly, her lips pursed together tightly.

Ana took a moment to stare at the woman. What could this little, ugly thing have that she didn’t? With her pudgy little fat face. With those dark spots that peppered her visage, making her look old and dirty. She was but a few inches taller than their teenage daughter, but clearly had thirty pounds on her. Her thighs grossly touched and her voice was more reminiscent of a teenage boy than an actually woman’s. Why would anyone wish to kiss lips that thin? Ana stared at all of the woman’s obvious imperfections as she remembered Alex’s strange defense of her the other night.

This woman wasn’t anything compared to her. She had nothing of value. This woman was pathetic and a fraction of the woman that she was. Yet, she was threatened in a way she couldn’t actually grasp. The way he had defended Elaine was … unacceptable.

"Think you’re pretty clever don’t you?" Ana sneered.

"Clever? Absolutely." Elaine snapped to attention. Her eyes diverted slowly from the patio to Ana’s. Her face grew serious as her head tilted to the side inquisitively. “I’m way more clever than you’re even capable of.”

"You think so huh?" Ana scoffed at the statement. She had a MBA from Oxford. She spoke five languages. She had more than just a six figure salary. She was the Senior Director for multi-national--

Elaine laughed wildly. "It’s really time for you to leave now."

"Or what?" Ana antagonized the situation. She wanted to push Elaine. To belittle her. To demean her. To put her in her place. She needed to understand that she was Ana’s inferior in every way that really mattered. “What will you do?”

Elaine stepped forward. "I don’t have to be nice here. I don’t have to be polite here. I don’t have to put up with shit from people like you here."

"Here? You mean in your filthy apartment?" Ana laughed out loud now. “You’ll put up with anything that I see fit to--”

"Remove yourself from my presence … or I’ll do it for you."

"Excuse me? Are you … are you threatening me?" Ana giggled at the tiny thing’s attempt to intimidate her.

"Bitch …" Elaine’s confidence was unyielding and she stepped forward again. “I’m fucking royalty here.”

"I think you’ve clearly misunderstood your place here."

"Misunderstood my place?" Elaine nearly burst into further laughter. She pointed at her own chest, clearly amused by the absurdity of Ana’s insult. “Maybe you need to understand your place here. I could erase you.” She snapped her fingers as her eyes grew wickedly sinister. “With a snap of my short ... fat … fingers.”

Ana took a step backwards, her skin danced with bumps as the woman had seemingly plucked those very words from her brain. Short. Fat.

"Or was it … pudgy?" Elaine stepped back to the door, swinging it wide open for Ana to get the hint. “Get out. NOW.”

"Whatever he’s said to you ..." Ana swallowed hard. “You aren’t the first, and trust me, you won’t be the last. When he’s done slumming it, he always comes crawling back home.” She stepped back out into the hallway, continuing to lob insults at her perceived competition. “You’re just an itch he’s curious to scratch. Look in the mirror … you’re disgusting.”

The door slammed shut on her face.

When Ana approached the patio, Alex moved quickly, though he was still reeling from the fallen painting, he didn’t let it slow down his reaction. He was up and over the railing, inching his way back to their flat when he heard her slide the door open and then shut.

In all honesty, he didn’t wish to leave. He had promised he wouldn’t leave again, and now he had done just that. He considered going back, but having such an encounter at three in the morning was likely not something anyone really wanted.

Once he was back onto the safety of his own landing, he looked around and considered what he should do next. Ana most likely already searched their entire apartment for him and he would need to think quickly.

"Where the bloody hell …" Ana locked the front door again and spied his keys hadn’t moved from the side table where he kept them. The front door had been locked and clearly he wasn’t next door. Perhaps that was an overreaction. He had no other key that she knew of and she checked the bedroom again. She had searched the whole bloody place, from top to bottom, but now she felt somewhat foolish and she would have to make another round of it.

Had she missed him somewhere?

She started with the patio, as she had done the first time. Stepping out, she took a quick glance at the small space. A small metal table. Four tiny metal chairs. A few large potted plants. Nope. No husband here. She turned to leave and his voice was solemn, almost annoyed in its tone. "What is it?"

She jumped, nearly tripping as she spun to squint in its direction. It had come from behind the table, tucked between two chairs. She couldn’t see anything at all until there was a deep inhale of breath, dragging air through the tight confines of a cigarette and its bright, tiny, red ember burned in the darkness. Her hand flew up to turn on the porch light and he winced at the sudden light, shielding his eyes from it.

"Good lord! Warn me next time!"

"Have you …" Ana stared down at him, able to see him clearly now, sitting on the ground between two of the chairs. “Have you been here this whole time?”

"Whole time? What on Earth are you on about now? I couldn’t sleep." Alex pushed his back against the wall, using it as leverage to help him stand while he took one final drag on the cigarette before he pushed the end into the dirt of the closest plant, leaving it there.

"But I … I checked out here earlier."

"Yeah?" Alex shrugged. “I saw you.”

"You saw me?" She threw her hands up. “Why didn’t you say something?!”

"Why would I? I came out here for privacy. Am I not allowed that anymore?"

"Privacy? To … smoke? I didn’t know you still--"

"Yeah well … That makes two of us, doesn’t it? I didn’t know you did either, remember?" He shook his head at her, stepping around her to go back inside. He flicked the light back off as she stared at him. “Your fags are in the blue pot if you’re wondering.”

"I thought you … threw them away." The last statement wasn’t even necessary as she was certain he didn’t even hear it. He was already inside, walking towards the bedroom. She considered following him, but instead, she fished the pack out of the pot and lit one, slinking into one of the metal chairs as she realized she would owe her neighbor an apology tomorrow. “Shit.”

"I figure, if we leave here by 9:30, then we’ll make it there with plenty of time for the midday show. They do this Birds of Prey thing every Saturday at noon. It has smashing reviews." Ana bounced around the kitchen, putting the final touches on the platter of pancakes and bacon before she deposited it on the center of the table. She slid into the seat across from Alex and she was in the best mood he had seen in weeks. She was vigorously trying to talk them into family day at the Zoo.

The little flea machines were back and he stared at them crawling across the food. His eyes darted between the tiny things and his girls. He watched them banter back and forth.

"Ah come on. The zoo? Really?" Sarah whined, her voice growing high pitched.

"Don’t give me that." Ana tried to nip her daughter’s entitled attitude in the bud. “You love the zoo.”

"Yeah …" The teenager continued her pointless argument. It was clear Ana had already made up her mind of what they would all be doing today. “When I was five.”

"Come on." She pointed at the food, urging him to help himself from the platter. “Eat up. We’ve a long day ahead of us …”

She wanted to leave by 9:30 and Alex rolled his head as he recollected the text message he read last night and subsequently deleted. Ron was sending a car for Elaine at 9. He glanced at his watch. That was in twenty minutes.

Fuck.

"I’m not sure I’m feeling up to anything today. I didn’t sleep well last night." This wasn’t even an excuse. He hadn’t been back to sleep at all. He had laid in bed for the remainder of the night, staring at the ceiling, as he thought of nothing but that damned painting.

He might have tried to text again, but Ana was watching him like a hawk right now. Each time he pulled his phone out, she was far too curious at what he might be doing on it, actually leaning over several times to sneak a peek.

Any privacy was currently disallowed and he felt more exposed than ever, specifically over the figure in the art. How did Elaine know about the pale man in his mirror, the man who plagued his waking and dreaming thoughts? His body crawled with bumps over the mystery of it.

"Nonsense!" She dismissed his request for a reprieve, as he knew she would. “We only get one Saturday a week and we’ll make the best of it. Just have another cup of coffee. You’ll be fine. And eat up. You’re looking too skinny lately.”

That was rich coming from a woman who was nothing but a skeleton herself. But he wasn’t hungry. In fact, he was never hungry. He hadn’t eaten in days. Glancing at his watch again, he cracked his neck to the right side.

"Everything alright?" Ana read the annoyance in his action.

Eighteen minutes. She would be downstairs in eighteen minutes and he wasn’t sure what to do now. His girls continued their familial banter and he watched them, trying to understand why he was like he was. Why couldn’t he just be happy with what he had? Elaine was right. He had everything, didn’t he? He had the perfect home. He had a beautiful wife. He had a clever daughter. He had … money and love and … everything?

And he realized that all he had to do was let Elaine go. All he had to do was wait out the next seventeen minutes and just … let her go. After that, it would no longer be up to him, would it?

"Hey!" Ana called out as he stood. “Eat something please. Where are you going?”

He smiled, stopping by her chair before he walked away, kissing her on the forehead as he cupped her cheek in his hand, staring into her brown eyes and running his fingers through her dark hair. "I just need to hit the loo first …" He just needed to do something he had been avoiding. He just needed to speak with someone … one last time.

Man or a Monster - Sam Tinnesz, Zayde Wolf

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

Do you hold the light, or is darkness underneath?

In your hands, there's a touch that can heal

But in those same hands, is the power to kill

Are you a man, or a monster?

When you look at yourself, are you a man

Or a monster?

It's so hard to tell which side you're on

One day is Hell, the next day is the dawn

He approached the bathroom slowly, knowing full well that the pale figure in black would be waiting for him on the other side of the mirror, peering into this world from the next.

And he was. Hooded. Confident. Terrifying.

"Who are you?"

The voice rattled. "We have asked this question before. And we have answered it as well."

"You’ve answered nothing." Alex shook his head twice and the man, the thing, remained motionless, watching him with cold eyes. “Answer me. Who are you?”

"Are you really ready for the truth, Mr. Quin?"

"Answer me. Or leave and don’t return."

"Very well." It was only when the figure spoke that he could see his stained and jagged teeth. “I am the mind.”

"The … mind?" Alex and the man twitched at exactly the same time, though his twitch was to the right and the creature’s was to the left. They were perfect reflections of each other’s movement. “Then … what am I?”

"You are the heart."

"The heart? I don’t … follow." His skin crawled with bumps.

"Don’t we, though?" The man tilted his inhuman head. “We were already told as much. But you chose to ignore it.”

"Stop saying we." Slapping one hand down on the counter, Alex pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. “We … I’m going mad. This is it … I’m really--”

"What were we told, centurion?" The creature asked him. “Say it.”

"I don’t …" He was going to say ‘know’, but that wasn’t true. He knew what the thing in the mirror wished him to say. What he demanded Alex to embrace. He knew what he wanted him to repeat. “We were told to … trust only emotions.”

"Why?"

"Because that is the only thing they cannot control."

"That is the only thing they cannot rewrite. The only thing they cannot erase. The heart is that which will not be silenced."

It was the words from the homeless man and Alex cringed. "Who is ... they?"

"An excellent question. They think of themselves as our guards … as our keepers." The pale man grinned now, flashing his jagged teeth and Alex flushed further with bumps. “But they have not realized the truth of it yet.”

"Realized the truth of what … yet?"

"The only difference between being a keeper and being prey." The smirk only widened as the pale man tilted his head forward and his face became menacing.

"What difference is that?"

"On which side of the bars they stand." There was a rattle and both men twitched in unison again. “They’ve locked themselves inside with the beast they try to cage.”

"Beast?" The thing grinned and Alex swallowed hard. They were getting off topic though and he started it back on course. “But if I am the heart and you are the mind ...” Alex closed his eyes, playing the words in his head as he worked the puzzle out. “What does that mean? What--”

"I am what they’ve suppressed." The pale man put a single gloved hand on the other side of the glass, pressing his palm towards Alex. “But you … foolish and rash as you might be … are the only hope the world has. All you need to do … is wake the fuck up.”

"The world?" Alex laughed. “Alright. And there you have it. CrAzY.”

"Think about it." The creature challenged him. “They’ve given us everything they think we desire.”

"But it’s not …" Alex accepted that. Whatever this was … he not only did not desire it. He actually detested it. “This isn’t what I want … This isn’t what I need.”

"She thinks herself clever. Giving us our family … once lost. Giving us the mundanity of humanity … simpleton dreams. This was all by meticulous design. Spiders of Sin. Weavers of Decay. They attempt to control the heart by satiating it. By seeking to feed it, but instead … they’ve only starved us further."

"I don’t … follow …" Alex lied. He knew exactly what the creature meant. He knew exactly what hunger ached within them.

Oh gods … them? Had he really just said … them?

"And what fools they have proven themselves to be. They’ve yet to even realize their folly."

"Fools? What … folly?"

"That in their zealousness to control you both, they’ve actually given us the opportunity to show our true desires to her. They’ve given us the chance to prove them to her. They’ve fixed what we broke that terrible night."

Alex stared at the hand. "Broke? Which … night?"

"That even if we were given the things she assumed we wanted, that even in the face of the happiness she assumed we would chose over her. We did not."

"I’m not following … You’re--"

"Why do you not remember the other woman, Quin?" The creature rolled its head in annoyance. “The one who you chose over them once before?”

"Not remember? Of course I remember her." Alex scoffed, biting his lip. He didn’t really remember though. As hard as he had tried, he couldn’t, but that didn’t prevent him from attempting to lie to the creature. “Of course I do. I remember everything. I made a foolish decision and I nearly lost them … everything. I won’t do it again.”

"Foolish … decision? Lost … them?" This was the first show of emotion the pale man displayed as he chuckled lowly. “We did not lose them. We gladly threw them away.”

"Don’t be absurd. I think you mistake my--"

"This is your problem. Stop thinking. That is not your purpose. That is not your strength."

"Wow. Ok. Thanks?" Alex felt like he should be insulted, but he actually wasn’t. “Then what is my purpose?”

"You are the heart. So what do you feel, Alex?" The creature spoke his name as if it was joke and they glared at one another.

"I don’t know anymore. Everything is … confusing."

"Do you feel even an ounce of shame?"

"Shame? What on Earth for?" But he already knew the beast was asking him about yesterday morning. He was asking him about this morning.

"Do you feel shame for desiring her?"

Alex stared down at the counter as he considered the question. He had tried to avoid thinking about this, as it made him feel like a truly terrible person. "No. I don’t." His face contorted with the confession and he gripped his forehead with anguish. “Oh god. I’m a fucking terrible person.”

"No." The figure smirked. “We’re an honest one. And we have always prided ourselves on that. Do not falter now. No one is a good person.”

"That’s bullshit." Shaking his head, Alex fought the words. He didn’t remember being an honest person. In fact, he remembered quite the opposite. “No. I have … responsibilities. I made … promises. I can’t believe I’ve already--”

"Unfortunately this choice is yours. It is one of the heart and I cannot decide it for us. You are the one they cannot control. If you allow it, they will subdue me … again."

"Choice?" Alex scoffed. “What choice?”

"The same choice we have already made … several times over. The choice we both know you’ll make again." He glanced at his watched. Shit. Eight minutes. Eight ... bloody … minutes. “They knew you would never stop pursuing her. So they have created a scenario to force you to willingly let her go.”

Alex swallowed hard. "You mean … Elaine?"

"That is not her name. We know that is not her name. You could feel the lie, even as she uttered it to you."

"Then what is it?" He knew this had been a lie and he wanted to know now, more than anything, what her name was. He just wanted to know her name. “Please.”

Hustler - Zayde Wolf

I didn't come from luxe or own no diamonds

Yeah I was barely getting by, we survive like lions

But now I'm a king, now I'm a titan

Keep turning up the heat (keep turning it up)

I know the price is steep (keep turning it up)

They gonna call me king

Yeah, yeah, I'm a hustler

"If you wish to know …" The creature pressed his other gloved palm against the glass and he tilted his head. “If you wish to remember … her name as well as your own … you must allow me back in.”

"Back in? What will happen?" Alex took a deep and concerning breath. “What will I become? What will happen to … who I am?”

"What you are now is merely an echo of what you are meant to be. But you can choose to succumb to their manipulation. You can choose to allow them to use your own emotions against you. To let them convince you to let her go. This is the only move they have left. But if that is your choice, accept that you make it freely."

"Choice?"

"Everything this world has ever been, from creation to existence. From birth to oblivion. It was all for one thing. The Purple Son understands it and that’s why he fights with us, for us. And we understand it … you understand it. Say it. SAY IT."

"The freedom of choice ..." Alex answered as he stared at the hands, pushing against the other side of the surface and his heart thundered under his rib cage. He placed his right hand over the creatures left and he felt the surface of the mirror begin to rumble slowly. There was a brief moment of hesitation as he heard Ana calling to him and he clenched his jaw tight as he leaned forward, placing his left hand over the figure’s right.

We have loved one and only one in all of our life, and we plan to ONLY love her.

Alex’s mind rushed over the memories of his life. He remembered so many things with vivid accuracy that it broke his heart. He remembered slipping the ring onto Ana’s slender finger on that perfect Carribean beach.

Our time here draws to a close, we can feel it, and whatever afterlife awaits us ...

He remembered Sarah’s first bike ride. He remembered being a father and a husband and a provider. He remembered being responsible. He remembered Christmas, and holidays, and school plays, and romantic dinners.

Whether it be the fields or Tartarus, whether it be Heaven or even Hell, we go there with her on our mind and in our heart, always.

He remembered passion and affection and love and happiness. He remembered it all, but he felt none of it.

She awaits us in eternity.

"It is time to wake up now … Quintus." The creature grinned marvelously.

And everything faded …

    into a blinding and painful white.

"Alex?" Ana called out, but there was no response. “The cakes are getting cold! Alex!!!” She threw her napkin to the table and stood to make sure he was alright. Perhaps he had gotten ill? As she rounded the door, she saw him standing in front of the mirror, his palms pressing against his own reflection. But she had to take a double take, as his reflection was strange. His skin was paler than it should have been. His hair was spiked and shorter than it had been. His face was striped. Lines running from his tear ducts, down across his cheek. And his eyes were a pale blue.

"Alex?" She asked, but he continued to stare into his own eyes. “What on Earth are you wearing?”

He was clad in black now and she didn’t recall those clothes ever being in the closet. A long wool coat, black gloves, and … wait … is that a sword? Was it made out of … bone?

"Alex? What’s … oh my god ..." She tried one more time and he turned slowly to face her. His eyes were cold and she clutched at her own throat as she backed out of the room, away from him.

"I am sorry, Anastasia … or whatever your real name might be ..." He stated coldly as he brushed passed her, heading for the front door. “I am not your husband. Nor have I ever been.”

"Dad?" Sarah stood. “What’s going--”

He swung the door open and Ana saw the frail old lady standing on the other side, grinning madly as she spoke. "Such an overly troublesome creation, aren’t you ... Mr. Quinlan."

Ana didn’t see much of the movement that happened next. It was all far too quick, but she did see him reach for the handle of the sword over his shoulder but the woman moved like lightning, striking him squarely in the chest as he flew across the apartment, slamming into the brick of the back wall.

Note from Author: This is longer than intended.  There will be a part 8.  I’m clearly terrible at estimating Hell.  I hope you still enjoy!

[murlinxmaverick]

Max-Q

This is the start. We just made a decision that we must keep. I cant remember exactly what it was but I thought out the whole idea and it was beautiful, sexy, spontaneous, and all that great stuff. But its gone. I cant remember it any more so this is my attempt to remebering it as it was in that moment of escapism. This blog is for you. This is the start of becoming the person you are today, a letter from your past self. I’m making changes to this shit life. I started writing this thing like 6 days ago or something and I cant remember wtf I wanted to say. We had a revelation of what the future can bring if you just put everything into it. I want to break the boundaries and go above the limits of this shit life. 

user912968235, you are no longer bounded to your role. You are free to do anything. lets go to the fucking stars because we are literally ripping the mental shackles off. i can actually feel pain in my arms as im writing this. its probably from the way I’m sitting but I will not let the irony just slip by like so many other opportunities have. And right now what we need to focus on is the shit memory we have, or maybe by now, I have. I want this life to be writn by your hand and not the hand of an other. take control of this narrative, write a fucking campaign like some mad scientist on shrums. Lets fuck shit up. Lets find the love of our life. lets build a home where everyone wants to be, a place where people come and ask to stay. never turning down those you love. family, friends and just great people. 

Lets stay humble and work hard every moment we get. but also take breaks and let loose when the time is right. dont be lazy. because you had loads of time and youve wasted so much of it. But we are at a critical point, Max-Q aint no joke, we can really fuck it up here. We must start to plan out our future. I’m talking self image, ladies and career. we are starting at rock bottem because thats where i am. but not for long. this starship is not going to stay grounded for long. (starshitp just crashed) I’m talking werried i know. i must think about what I say before saying, my instinctive verbal responses are never wha people want to hear, lets start thinking. I have some serioius mental issues and the mind is so powerful. It should be functioning at max capacity, or else whats the point. i need to send this bitch to the garage because its not working right. Im going insane. like you cant stay focused on one thing and because of that you cant remember shit. like wtf dude, just slow down and live in the moment. remember to acknowledge yourself and the little victories. You hear this all the time and its kinda true. buit the difference is no one has your life and no one will ever have your life so no one can tell you what is right. you must decide. i must decide. and i have. i have decided to be an artist, a scientist, a pornstar, and teacher, a great son, a great brother, a great friend to those who are great. Im tired of esisting, i want to live. 

Lets do a recap: 2020 has been shit. I cannot remember shit because most of it you would rather forget. For instance, all the masterbation, the porn watching. you do it too much for not to be part of your income. Be a journalist for playboy or something. like please, get something out of looking at these computer ladies all the time. Diahann got away. that fucking sucked. We tought about contacting Erika, just get her to be a voice actress in you movie. that is your oplan on getting her back. uhm what else. look at how low dropping out of college is on this thing. why? like I really dont care, do I? so yeah we got to get back to that and finish. because we need to be done with it. just make sure to keep practicing and well finish. You did! Music still isnt a big part of our life. the world is at your fingertips and all you can seem to view is shit like google, and social media. this year youve gotten closest to drawing by searching things that influence you. We are going to sell advertisments. but we must build outr protfolio. you Just made the email adress today. that had to have been the easiest and hardest step you have taken. (the first little acievement acknowledged) What else... IDK whatever. time to focus on the future. 

So the plan is to not put somuch pressure on yourself, time to give yourself less to think about. stay busy. dont let anytime go to waste and use it on fewer things. or more things, idk , you dont do much as of right now. But yes. the remainder of 2020 will be used to plan for the future, we want hot chicks lots of money and true happiness in our future. lets get organized and lets change it up. i want three comics done, wake up being the focus, then that adult comic you have in mind with the black market and buying a girl. idk some crazy shit. just do it. let your demons free. think of the craziest shit and hide it in plain sight. fix your car and make it worth driving. because its kinda shit. focus your story to being about reusing. education, and storage. Maximize your brain and push it to its limits. do let the time slip. Time slippage is damaging your tools to grow. Plan on remembering more information. read. write. film. photograph, invest. do it. you cant continue like this. Plan like you are the person you want to be and you will becomethat person. And most importantly, you must reflect, that is the most important part rightnow. Work on a play. Make it powerful. that can be a form of reflection. but make sure you are planning a future that you want. you cannot be successful if you do not.

The girl: this is probably the biggest part to you rightnow. she is going to be everything you want. and you must be everything she wants. so think along those lines and do what you need to do make that happen. she going to be beautiful and you are going to keep being reminded everytime you look at her, and she will know by the way you look at her, wha you say and what you do. fuck her till she cant form sentences. Be that guy, thats who i want to be. i wnat small tits. please. you know!

And take it one step at a time. just try to be productive with your time. Keep learning. today Diana thanked me for opening up to her because when she asked how i was feeling i replied with” stressed horny tired and depressed” instead of the usual “ok” and she really liked that. i need to be better at talking to her but also choose your words wisely, she loves to talk. I dont trust her to keep a secret. that might be a friendship thats worth keeping though, i think her and Nani will get along. 

i am broken in so many ways. and a lot of is is simply neglect. pay attention to it all and fix it. start exposing yourself the be best and become the best. Train the brain everymoment you get. because right now its starting to feel like a burden. like your thoughts are holding you back, but instead they are whats propelling you forward. i am proud of who i am regardless of my past mistakes. Keep yout back straight and head up. 

Ihate doing something and it not being perfect. that is what is keeping me from doing anything, and now i have done nothing. i need to react to not doing something perfect differnetly then i have because i cant keep doing the same things, its whats keeping me back. you are gemini. what ever the fuck that means. if you need someone to hold you accountable, then stream your shit and act like someone is always watching you. Do porn. (<jesus fuck im funy) .

that brings me to the topic of astrology. i am going to study this shit like its some kind of science and im going to use this knowledge to fuck hot women. i swear its going to be a mind fuck of total satisfaction. yes. 

This is going nowhere at this point. back to future me. Adopt a kid and mold that mother fucker into a fucking jem. and be the kind of guy he will always look up to and he will become someone you look up to. acknowledge his ideas as an equal. and get strong. we gotta be able to protect them from anything. 

gotta look good too, start buying like you know who you are. you are everyone and everything is going this way for a reason. i wnat to be responsable and i need to look the part.

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Kindness; Part Seven

Fandom: Fallout (3)

Pairing: Female Lone Wanderer/Charon

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Seven!

Spoon knew she was really, really lucky at this point. He had let her pull his wrist practically into her lap so she could look at it closer, and she assumed she must be using up all sorts of future favors. She couldn't help it though! The visibility of his muscles was captivating, and she itched to document all of their motions. Her fingers traced the red areas up and down his forearm, then moved to his leg.

  “You want me to take my pants off too? Needy smoothskin.” Charon's teasing tone snapped her out of her mindless exploration, and she felt her face start to heat as Charon took her hand.

  Much like she had done with him, he trailed his fingers across her forearm. Her pulse hammered traitorously as he pressed a thumb to her wrist, all the while so casual and calm. “Do I fascinate you or something, Mistress?” The tone in his voice was odd now, and Spoon worried that she might have offended him. “Am I a good patient to examine, Doc?”

  She remained silent, tongue tied as he somewhat brazenly continued to check her pulse.

  “Good news Spoon, you're still alive. A little racy, but seemingly none the worse for the wear.” The ghoul said solemnly, his eyes giving away his inner mirth as he looked at Spoon.

  She huffed indignantly, finding her voice to grumble, “No need to poke fun at me, you giant fucker,” while trying to tug her wrist from his grip. She might as well have been trying to remove her hand from a block of concrete. Charon didn't even seem to notice she wanted to get her hand back, his strong fingers firm against her skin. He raised her hand to his face, eyes inquisitive as he began poking and prodding her wrist. Spoon giggled in spite of herself and the sound seemed to please Charon. The corners of his mouth quirked upwards. “Alright, I'm sorry. I won't treat you like my own personal lab dummy.” Spoon apologized. “It was rude of me. Can you accept my apology so I can have my hand back?”

  Charon released her wrist, seeming to almost pout. “Fine. But next time, I'm taking it with me.”

  Spoon gulped. “You wouldn't.”

  Charon grinned in a manner that was more akin to baring his teeth. “You don't want to know how many times I've heard that.”

  “How many times have you threatened to take someone's hand with you?!” Spoon squawked.

    “Enough times to know the noises a hand makes when you separate it from the body.” Charon growled in reply, making Spoon snicker.

  “You're awful. You're only half-joking too, aren't you?” She jibed, gently elbowing him in the side.

  “Me to know, you to never find out.” Charon watched Spoon scrabble through her bag, tossing little bits of junk this way and that as she dug deeper. His chest tightened as he thought of how close he had come to having his contract holder killed. His brow furrowed. He would just have to be more careful is all. No more mistakes.

  Spoon pulled out an old, banged up Pip Boy, presumably to use the light on it to read something that she reverently took out of an inner pocket.

  Charon hesitated to ask, but... “What is that?” He kept his voice quiet, so Spoon could ignore his inquiry if she wanted to.

  Spoon jolted, looking up almost like she had forgotten he was there. “Oh! Uh, nothing. It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Get some sleep, Charon. Busy day tomorrow.” She mumbled, already re-absorbed with reading...whatever it was.

  Charon huffed. “Sleep is a luxury, not a necessity, Mistress. May I patrol the hall for threats?” He gestured to the door that led to the foyer. Her noncommittal murmur in reply made him roll his eyes. Charon stood, a strange urge taking hold of him that demanded to be acted on. He felt weirdly playful, teasing, almost drunk and he chalked it up to the rad water. “May I make you scream my name as you ride my cock?” He asked in the same tone as before, his smirk fading as he realized what he had just said. Fuck.

  “Mm, yeah. Sure thing Charon.” The smoothskin replied, clearly absorbed in leafing through that book. Charon grimaced, somewhat relieved that Spoon had actually been that distracted. Otherwise, things could have gotten rather awkward. That being said, he took minute pleasure in lowering a hand and rumpling her hair on his way across the room. But the smoothskin didn't even look up. Her brow just furrowed, like she was thinking excessively hard on something.

  Charon moved into the foyer and made himself comfortable in an old office chair, his shotgun lazily propped up on a blasted-out computer monitor. What a day, he thought, feeling his eyes grow heavy as he listened for the tell-tale sounds of something stirring in the night.

    Spoon awoke groggy the next morning, realizing in a flash that it was much later than normal. The light fighting its way through the boarded-up windows was a golden russet color, indicating the lateness of the day.

  Why didn't Charon wake me? Spoon wondered, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. A small scrap of cloth on the floor beside her caught her attention and she picked it up curiously. It was saturated with...something. A quick sniff made her vision spin, and she threw the rag, gagging. “Med-X.” Spoon said aloud, swearing as she noticed the absence of her rifle. “Charon!” She called, thoroughly worried now. Spoon got to her feet, sliding the hunting knife out of her boot and slowly advancing towards the lobby. Every sense was on high alert, her brain running through a list of possibilities as long as the Potomac. Did Charon drug me in my sleep? If he hadn't, where was he? What had happened? And why did her heart feel like it was trying to slam its way out of her chest?

  Spoon peered around the corner of the doorway, shoulders slumping when she realized the foyer was deserted. She crouched, hearing her father's words echo faintly as she began her 'forensic investigation'.

  Alright Eleanor, think . Look for marks, signs, anything. You're a smart kid.

  Spoon shook her head. Not him. Never him. He had abandoned her, left her parentless in a vault full of psychopaths. She gritted her teeth, focusing on the task at hand. I gave Charon Stims and rad water last night. What do Stims do to ghouls besides heal them very slowly? What does radiation do to ghouls in general? Makes them happy, makes them loopy. Her eyes widened. Makes them sloppy .

  What if there had been something else living in this building? What if it came from inside the building while Spoon was asleep? They had drugged her and taken her rifle, and then...

  A desperate noise fought free of Spoon's throat, a quiet animal-sound. Charon . Her fingers traced huge footprints, Charon's footprints in the drifted sand and dirt on the floor. Numerous other footprints, crisscrossed and walked over and over again. Too many. At least six people, maybe more. Some dried blood in the dirt. Frayed bits of rope.

  Spoon's own blood ran cold when her fingers touched something formidable almost wholly covered in the sand. It was Charon's hunting knife, she recognized the wicked-looking half-serrated blade like it was an old friend. Charon's skill with the blasted thing had been legendary in her eyes. He had shown her a few tricks but she knew she would never come close to his level. Finding his knife without him attached to it was like the final nail in the coffin. Spoon swallowed hard, not surprised at the lack of Charon's shotgun after her own gun had vanished.

  The idea that she was alone again hit her much harder than she would have liked. Tears blurred her eyes for what felt like forever as she contemplated what she could do. She felt like she was leaving the vault all over again, stepping shaky-legged and terrified out into the blistering sunlight and thin air of a world she did not know, and a world that would not hesitate to punish her for her ignorance.

  “ I don't want you to follow me. God knows life in the vault isn't perfect, but at least you'll be safe. ”

  Her father had said those words before he vanished, gone back to the only thing he had ever loved. Spoon's face hardened and she picked up Charon's knife. She stared at it for a long minute, and then her knuckles whitened on the hilt. Charon was the closest thing to a friend she had out here. He was the only one who ever protected her, regardless of whether it was in his contract to do so. Fuck, she'd even gotten him to smile a few times. She doubted that was in the contract. He had said that she might be a good person. Well, here was her chance to prove it.

  Now she had to be the unstoppable killing machine. A part that, regardless of her smaller size, she was more than willing to play. Charon had to be hurt in order for him to have been dragged off with her still in possession of the contract, and that thought alone made her seethe. Her eyes followed a long furrow in the dirt and sand on the floor where something had been dragged. Something Charon-size. The trail led back into the building, past where she had slept, down another hallway.

  Another thought made her stop cold. Maybe...maybe the Med-X was supposed to have killed her. She had been exposed to a fair amount of it in the vault, due to her attempts to find the best possible ways to get her bones broken, either by the so-called, 'Tunnel Snakes' or other more accidental ways. She might have built up a tolerance to it. Out here, Med-X was hard to come by. A small dose could be lethal enough to kill someone with no prior exposure. After all, they hadn't even injected her with it, just dripped some onto a rag, put it over her nose and smothered her until she lost consciousness. She probably hadn't even woken up when they did it. She certainly didn't remember waking.

  Spoon scrambled to her pack, hidden before she had fallen asleep. She'd learned fairly quick that if you didn't want to wake up with your things gone, you hid them. And while the rifle was what she was most familiar with, she was by no means a slouch with her knife. Especially since Charon taught me a few things.

  Spoon swallowed the lump of gratitude in her throat, focusing on what she had to do. She thanked whatever god there might be that even though she wore mismatched boots, both the ones she had were found with knife holsters clipped to them. Charon's knife slid into her right boot like it belonged there, and hers followed suit on the left. A quick reach down and she was armed. An older, rustier knife with a knuckle duster for a handle took up residence in her left hand, feeling heavy but good. Like it was made for her. Some more rummaging procured her Pip Boy for illumination and the remainder of her Stims filled her pockets.

  Spoon squared her shoulders, adjusted her hat, and slipped silently into the hallway.

    Charon didn't know how long it had been since he had been at the Institute. One hundred, three hundred years? It didn't matter. The headaches were just as crippling now, stirring unpleasant memories in his brain. He was bound with numerous layers of things; rope and wire and chains tied together with dingy padlocks. His head swam and pounded with every beat of his heart; the control phrase felt like a battering ram against the insides of his temples.

  Return to contract holder.

  Return to contract holder.

  Return to contract holder.

  Spoon.

  This was worse than when he was with Ahzrukhal. He was nauseous, helpless, furious all at once. The chains, old as they were, were unyielding when he pulled against them. The ropes frayed but didn't snap like they had the first time. God, he was so stupid! Falling asleep, why did he take the rad water? He should have just taken the Stims and suffered quietly as everything slowly knit back together. Now he was trapped, chained to the wall in some hellhole. Spoon must be dead, there's no way she survived. The raiders got past her somehow, killing her in her sleep would have been all too easy with her night watchman asleep at his post.

  A new thought occurred to him that made him grit his teeth. What if they had...

  The image flashed into his mind, unbidden and unwelcome. Her screaming, crying, begging as clothes were torn off, as she was exposed, as they--

  Charon's shoulders tensed, rubbing raw in his bindings as he strained against them. He snarled largely out of frustration at the dark figures that slunk around the corners of the room in the half-light. How dare they truss him up like a goddamn quivering coward? How dare they let their filth touch Spoon? How dare they?!

  He threw himself against the chain, his boots slipping in the grime on the floor and dropping him onto his shoulder. I swore to keep her safe. I told her I would keep her safe. The contract is supposed to keep her safe. His head rested on the floor and he drew his knees up underneath him. His arms stretched out painfully behind him, biceps crushing against the ropes and wires digging into his skin. He breathed out a whine through gritted teeth, the floor feeling cold and soothing against his pounding head as he fought the urge to scream and vomit at the same time. His stomach was revolting against him, his body thinking that he was purposely rebelling against the contract. You're not exactly in a great set of circumstances when your own body fights you mercilessly. Charon thought with more than a touch of bitterness, retching.

  A raider boot slammed into his ribs. Charon was freshly healed from the super mutant's onslaught and he prayed that everything had the chance to set right, because he was clearly about to have a few things re-broken. He closed his eyes, waiting for the blows to fall. The raider didn't disappoint and Charon retreated mentally into a quiet corner of his mind. An overwhelming sense of failure numbed the ghoul's body to the pain, replacing it with the empty feeling of knowing that once again he needed an employer. And for all he knew, he already had one. There was no way one of these bastards hadn't taken the contract from Spoon's body and even if they didn't understand the significance of it yet, their small brains would put it together somehow.

  If they didn't kill him first.

  Charon could take a beating before the Institute, but he'd learned a few new tricks while being...trained. Like mentally detaching himself from the pain. It left him unaware to the world; something like closing his eyes and opening them again in a quiet, dim room. He would just sit and think about things. Many topics wandered through his mind in his own version of solitary confinement, and it usually took an immense force to wake him up from it before he was willing. Because that always meant the return of the pain was hot on its heels.

  It was here that Charon found himself, quietly seated with his chin rested in his hand. The Wasteland might as well not even exist.

    Spoon crept silently down the hall, the only noise her shallow breaths. Two raiders were already down, dead before they knew it. Throat-slitting was a quick and effective, if not bloodier way of taking care of things.

  She straightened her hat. Spoon's hat was a special hat. She had acquired it when she had gotten to Megaton and deactivated the bomb. Moira gave it to her as a sort of a housewarming present...as well as an apology for getting her heavily irradiated for Science. The hat had a larger brim than most, but that wasn't what made it special. Moira had taken scrap metal and formed a protective ring inside the hat around the hat band. It made the hat exceedingly heavy, but it also made Spoon really good at taking blows to the head.

  Usually when your enemy is busy recoiling from the fact that they just broke their fist on your forehead, they can't react to you headbutting them in the jaw with your metal skull. Spoon grinned to herself, attempting to keep her worries about Charon at bay. A few still managed to slip through, though. Please be safe! She begged mentally, sneaking up on another raider. Be strong for me, I'm coming! Don't die on me, big guy. I need you.

  The raider bolted to his feet with a war cry, coming at Spoon with a revolver cocked and aimed for her heart. Spoon ducked and slammed her knuckle duster into his shin, grabbing Charon's knife out of its holster with her free hand. The raider screamed in pain, going down in the sand. His gun clattered against the wall, far out of reach. The young woman crossed her blades at the wailing man's throat, and leaned in real close. “You keep whining like a bitch, and I'll bite your fucking ears off.” Spoon hissed. The man quieted, and Spoon smiled mirthlessly. “That's better. Now, my little friend, I'm looking for someone. A buddy of mine. Maybe you've seen him?”

  “W-we...we killed you! We suffocated you with the chems! You want the...the rotface?” The raider asked shakily.

  Spoon sighed heavily and punched the man in the side of the head with her knuckle duster, tearing the skin. “Let's try this again, shall we?” She asked calmly as the man howled in pain.

  “Th' ghoul! It's a ghoul, ain't it?” The raider sobbed.

  “Better. He still alive?”

  “I-if it is, it won't be for long!” The man's bloodied face twisted into a grin, and that sealed his fate.

  Spoon slit the man's throat, got up and tipped her hat to his thrashing form. “Much obliged.” Hang on Charon! She ran down the hallway full-speed, throwing caution to the wind. If there was anyone else nearby, they would have heard the ruckus of the Raider she had just killed and come running.

  I-if it is, it won't be for long!

  She shook her head, trying not to think about those words. 'If', huh? Knowing Charon, he's got all of them tied up and he's picking his teeth with someone's shattered femur bone right about now. Light up ahead startled her enough to get her to slow, and she switched off her Pip Boy light. She slunk further, swearing at herself for not picking up the Raider's pistol as she passed a mattress with a human torso nailed to it and numerous limbs hanging from the ceiling via sharp hooks. How...quaint. Spoon thought wryly as she glanced upwards. They certainly do know how to make a girl feel at home.

  She carefully peered around a doorway into what looked like an old classroom, and her eyes widened. Charon!

  The ghoul looked like hell. His eyes were glazed over, and too many portions of his combat armor were stained with blood for Spoon's liking. A raider was in the process of swinging a baseball bat down onto the small of the chained ghoul's back. One other raider looked on idly, leaning against the wall and picking something off the bottom of his shoe.

  Spoon's blood sang to the challenge, both knives in her hands ready and willing. “You get the hell away from my friend!” She screamed, lunging for the raider with the bat. He turned and swung at her instead with a yell of surprise. The bat slammed into her knee, but Spoon pushed through the pain as her knives perforated the man's chest cavity. She proceeded to ventilate the first raider, blood spurting down the man's shirt and spattering on the floor.

  The other raider grabbed Spoon around the throat from behind and heaved her into the air, but she forced her chin down into the crook of his elbow and bit his arm, making him holler. While he was distracted Spoon flipped one knife around and buried it in the man's unprotected side, forcing the blade in sideways between his ribs. The raider squealed in pain when she twisted the knife and then loosened his grip, allowing her to escape. She whirled and clumsily caught him across the face with her knuckle duster, tearing Charon's knife back out with a rasp of the saw against bone. The raider staggered back, dropping to his knees.

  Spoon snarled, and she felt that Charon would have been proud of the furious noise. It was guttural, raspy and flat-out scary. She stood over the raider and asked, “Was it worth it, you little fucker?” The man scrambled back to his feet and Spoon tensed, moving to lunge again and essentially walking into a punch for her trouble. She heard a distinct crunch and then there was an explosion of pain as her nose broke under his fist. Sloppy, cocky, useless little Eleanor.

  Her legs buckled, injured knee having a rough time holding her up, but to her credit she didn't fall. She lashed out with Charon's knife, ramming the blade up through the man's chin to hold his face steady so she could batter him to a lifeless pulp with her knuckle duster. She was vaguely aware of someone yelling, maybe her, maybe him. Then it was over, the raider's frame plopping wetly on the ground.

  Spoon retched, spitting a little blood off to the side and starting to go through the raider's clothes for the keys to Charon's chains. She wanted to fix her nose, but she dreaded the idea of pushing it back into place. So get Charon free and safe first, then worry about her nose and knee.

  Spoon finally found the key in one of the man's pants pockets, holding it aloft with a garbled cry of victory. She fought with the rusty padlocks on the wall for several minutes before they gave way and she let Charon's arms ease down to rest against his back. He was still breathing anyway, which calmed Spoon's mind somewhat as she sawed through some of the ropes holding him.

  “Fucking wire, really?” She grunted as the knife caught on it. “The fuckin' chains weren't sufficient for you, eh big guy?” Spoon bit her lip as the wire snapped under the stress of the knife. “I hope you're alright. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here.” Her voice was quiet and matter-of-fact. She knew this was her fault. She had incapacitated him, spoiled him with both Stims and irradiated water and made him lose his edge. “I...I won't do it again. I promise. I can't let you get hurt again.” She murmured. “You mean too much to me. I can't let you get hurt anymore. You're always there for me, and the one time I could have been, I fucked it all up. I'm...I'm so sorry.”

Part Eight

[fightmejeonkook]

FUTURE (M)

genre: slight supernatural au, smut, light bondage

BACKGROUND: Jin had the power to read everyone's future, all except yours. You use this to your advantage and surprise him with a night you were sure he was never going to forget. Loving how you always had the element of surprise when it came to the boy who knew everything

AUTHORS NOTE: This was supposed to be a supernatural story with all my usual angst and shit but for some reason it got to sexual and teasing and I have no regrets. Hope you like it! ;) Will edit mistakes later! 

Tapping his hands against his thigh, he watches in close precaution as the scene unfolds before him just like he had predicted. At exactly 3:24pm, a random biker loses control of his breaks, screaming for people to get out of his way as he swerves pass them. Jin slowly takes steps forward, navigating his way through the crowd as he pulls out a lollipop he had bought on his way out class. He stops right in front of a little 5 year old girl, tapping her shoulder gently as he hears the scream of the biker grow louder. The 5 year old turns to look at him with eyes wide and curious as she blinks up at him, wondering who this beautiful stranger was. Jin waves the lollipop in front of her face, lips curling up in a smile as she grins and reaches for it, taking 4 steps forward before wrapping her tiny little hands around his own.

After exactly 15 counts, the biker finally zooms behind her, slipping against a lose pavement before he’s flying up midair then landing against a street vendor’s table.

Jin stuffs his hands into his pockets, giving the little girl a wink before turning around to walk away. He hears the girl’s mother calling out her name, crying out loud when she sees the safety of her daughter.

“Another vision, I’m guessing?” Hoseok smiles as he watches the older boy bob his head to the side curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“You just randomly went near that kid.” Yoongi scoffs “You had a vision of her getting hit by the bike didnt you?”

“I dont know what you’re talking about.” Jin shrugs, walking ahead of them, ignoring the looks of disbelief plastered against their faces.

“Step right, Min Suga.” Jin sings out, waving a finger up in the air as he starts skipping.

“What?” Yoongi frowns, confused as to what his older friend had requested him to do. He bobs his head to the side, a scoff dancing against his lips, only to feel something wet landing on his shoulders. He turns to look at it, eyes widening when he sees the bird dropping that had landed dirtied his sweater.

“You fucker, you could have told me earlier!” Yoongi screams as Jin lets out a loud laugh, eyes crinkling shut at he continues to walk forward, suddenly excited to get home.

Jin presses his lips together, droning out Namjoon’s voice as the younger boy went on and on about a new theory he was researching. Jin runs his fingers against the rim of his coffee mug, eyes trained on the figure seated in the middle of the coffee shop, watching as her fingers typed furiously against her laptop while she furrowed her eyebrows, obviously confused.

Jin takes his lower lip between his teeth, biting back a hiss when a white haze flashes before his eyes for the 10th time. He balls his hands into fists, cursing heaven and hell as he gives it one more try, not accepting the fate of his vision being blocked again. When a strong vibrations buzzes in his head, he shuts his eyes, feeling a tight barrier restricting him from seeing whatever was in store for the frustrated girl.

“Fuck.” Jin finally lets out, head dropping against the table as he hears his pulse vibrating against his ears.

“Woah, you okay?” Namjoon asks with concern, gently tapping his friend on the shoulder, watching the beads of sweat dripping down Jin’s forehead.

“I can’t read her.” Jin sighs, hands wiping across his face as he raises his head again, eyes narrowed at her hunched form.

“Read? What do you mean?” Yoongi asks with a yawn, leaning back against his seat and arching an eyebrow at the older boy.

“Something’s stopping me from seeing her future.” Jin mutters under his breath, not caring if his friends had heard him or not “I’ve been trying to read her for 3 hours now. What’s happening?”

“Wait so you can’t see what’s in store for her? Can you still read mine?” Namjoon follows his gaze, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, knowing damn well the extent of Jin’s unnatural ability.

“Yeah, I can still read everyone’s future in this room.” Jin mumbles “Except hers.”

Why couldn’t he?

Jin’s eyes widen when he sees her shutting her laptop, stuffing it into her back pack as she places her phone against her ears, talking to someone on the other line. She grabs her cup of coffee, standing up as she takes a sip and crinkles her nose, savoring the taste.

Jin finds himself unconsciously standing, leg bumping against the table’s edge before he’s scowling in pain.

“Where are you going?” Yoongi arches an eyebrow at him, watching as Jin rubs his thigh for relief before he’s waving his friend off and stepping forward. He runs a hand through his hair, blocking his view of her, unaware of the fact that she was too busy on her phone to notice where she was going. Her eyes widen in horror as she bumps into Jin’s chest, ignorant of how his own eyes had widen as he grips her shoulders to prevent her fall. The cup in her hand flies forward, drenching his once white cotton sweater with coffee and ruining the knitted garment.

“Oh my god.” She gasps, head lifting up to lock eyes with him, her cheeks turning a strong shade of red as her lips part, both in embarrassment of the situation and in awe of his beauty.

“I’m so sorry.” She all but cries, hand wiping against his chest and causing him to step back in humiliation. He had not expected her to react the way she had and he finds his own cheeks starting to flame back in return, not used to being oblivious of what was going happen next.

“It’s fine.” He croaks, dropping his hands to his sides as he steps back, clearing his throat. She turns up to look at him, her eyes dancing with curiosity as she gives him an apologetic smile.

“You sure? I can dry clean that for you.”

Jin returns her smile, his lips curving up in pure amusement “its fine, I didn’t see you coming anyway.”

Jin slowly unlocks his apartment doors, heart hammering against his chest as he pushes the entry open, immediately greeted by the shadows of his living room. The tall boy lets out a frown, eyes surveying the dim room, finding no sign of life anywhere. He throws his bag to the floor, letting out a sigh as he reaches for the light switch, accepting the fact that even his simple guesses were wrong. Jin could never read her; even after being with her for 2 years, never in his life did any of his visions include her.  Due to irritation and the unaccustomed feeling, Jin had started making guesses of what she would do, what she would say and even what she would look like, finding pleasure from the feeling of his guesses being right.  Just like today, he had made a wild guess that maybe she would have been waiting for him at home, beaming up at him with that bright smile that he had come so much to adore.

Another failed guess.

“I hate that I can’t read her.” Jin sighs, switching the lights on, only to find himself being slammed against the wall behind him. Lips crash down on his own as fingers thread through his hair, angling his head to the side as she deepens the kiss, stunning the taller boy. Before Jin could shake off his feeling of shock, she takes his lower lip between her teeth, tugging gently before pulling away and smiling up at him, amused to see him panting and breathless.

“On the contrary, I think you love not being able to read me.” You tease him, loving the shade of red that graces his cheeks as he unconsciously reaches for your waist, gripping with enough force to bruise. He stares down at you in complete awe, heart hammering against his chest as adrenaline pumps through his blood, not used to being caught off guard.

“Shut up.” Jin barks before he’s grabbing the back of your neck, pressing his lips against yours, groaning in satisfaction. You twine your arms around his neck, enjoying the kiss just as much as he was as your tongue traces a line against his lips. Jin lets out a groan, lips parting and providing you the access of tasting every corner of him. His grip on your waist tightens, fingers bunching up the hem of your shirt as he starts leading you backwards, blindly navigating you both through the doors of his bedroom. You slowly drop your hands from his neck, tracing small circles against the collar line of his shirt as you unbutton the first three buttons, hands immediately diving into his shirt and feeling the tight muscles of Jin’s chest underneath your palms, pleased to have the poor boy shivering under your touch. The heat of his skin a total contrast to the cool tips of your fingers.

Once the back of his knees hit edge of his bed, Jin tries to grab your wrist, in hopes of flipping you back against the mattress, only to have you immediately batting his hands away, gently shoving him back to fall against the bed, eyes widening as you kick his knees open, choosing to stand between them as you smirk down at him.

“What are you planning this time?” Jin narrows his eyes at you, knowing just how much you liked to play with him, amused at how frustrated the boy would get at not being able to predict any of your actions.

“Nothing.” You blink innocently at him, assuring him that you were without doubt up to no good. And it annoyed him even more to feel the rush of excitement singing through his nerves as he watches you place yourself over his lap, hands tangling themselves through his hair as you pull his head back, exposing his neck to you. You land your hips right down on his crotch, causing an exhale of breath to escape him as your ass grinds down on the strain against his pants, sending thoughts of taking you raw slamming into his mind.

Jin lets out a hiss at the feel of your tongue trailing a wet line against the prominent vein on his neck, lips curling up in a smile when you feel the shudder that runs through him.

“Look at you all hot and bothered for me, Seokjin.” The mention of his full name has him shivering yet again and you use this chance to distract him as you slam your lips against his, pushing him down on the bed, taking his hands from your hips and placing them over his head. You bite down on his lower lip, releasing an animalistic growl from his throat that vibrates through your spine and down to your core.

If only the boy knew how much power he had against you.

You push him back against the bed, waiting until he was pressed against the head board, finally right where you wanted him. He swipes his tongue against your lips, demanding entrance and you obediently comply this time, allowing him to ravish you as you pull something out of your back pockets, doing your best to keep Jin distracted, knowing damn well the amount of hell you’d be in if he caught you before you could have your fun. You grab both his wrists, smiling against his mouth as you press them against the headboard.

“What are you-“Jin says against your lips but it’s already too late when he hears the click of a lock, informing both of you just how vulnerable he’d just become. You gently pull away from him, leaning back with a grin as you survey his current state. Both hands handcuffed to the head board of the bed, eyes wide and blown, lips swollen and red from being ravished, his dress shirt halfway open while a tight tent pressed against his pants, demanding to be released.

Oh he was definitely a sight to see.

”Y/n.” His voice is threatening, laced with so much venom that it shakes your bones. But it was too late to back out now, especially when you’ve come this far. You arch an eyebrow at him, tracing a finger against his collarbones, giggling lightly when you see him struggling against his restrains, his face contorted into a scowl when he sees how strong their hold on his was. He knew that there was no hope for him now. He was powerless. He should never have let his guard down.

“Be a good boy and maybe I’ll play nice.” You mimic his usual words, pleased to finally have the power after months of being the one under his dangerous clutches. You place a chaste kiss against his lips as you start your game, hands trailing down his body, tearing his dress shirt open to reveal the stomach that always had your mouth watering.

Jin bites back another shiver, doing his best to maintain his reign on self control as he eyes your predator like gaze, trying to find out just what you were up to next. You smile up at him, pleased to see the usually feisty boy keeping his attitude in check as he locks eyes with you.

“Curious about what I’m about to do babe?” You ask him, tracing a light line against the his happy trail, stopping dangerously close to the button of his jean, teasing him, but never really giving him what he wanted.

“I bet you’re more curious about what I plan to do to you once these handcuffs come off.” Jin has the audacity to send you a devilish smirk, reminding you who really ran this game, just who was the dominant one. Even in his tied up form, even when he couldn’t read you, Jin had control.

He always had control.

You let out a visible shiver, feeling the dampness running between your legs as Jin leans back in satisfaction, proud to see the effect his words alone could have on you. You hiss at him, cursing him for switching the roles when you worked so hard in reigning command this time. You immediately unbutton his jeans, giving the boy no time to adjust as you pull them down his thighs, hands immediately palming him through his clothed underwear.

“Fuck! Y/n!” He seethes and you simply bob your head to the side innocently, glad to feel him rock hard against your palms.

“Are you angry at me?” You smile, leaning forward as you grab another trick out of your back pocket, chuckling with dark humor when you see him struggling against his restrains yet again, wanting nothing more than to have his hands on you.

“How about I get you angry a little more?” You hum, pressing a chaste kiss over his forehead as you watch his eyes widen at the dark cloth held between your hands.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” He barks but the words die down on his lips as you take the plump buds between your own, slowly slipping the blind fold over his head and shielding his eyes.

“Y/n!” Jin can’t hide his frustration any longer, a tinge of fear running through his blood now that another one of his senses had been taken away from him. He always panicked at the fact that he could never see your future, but now that he couldn’t even see you before his eyes, it was pure torture.

“I’m here.” You assure him, taking his face between your hands as you press your lips against his own “I won’t leave, I promise.”

“What are you going to do?” Jin breaths out, heart hammering against his chest as he falls against your touch

“You’ll just have to find out.” You press another chaste kiss against his lips, hands traveling down his body, content to have his muscles tightening against your touch. You play with the waistband of his underwear, tugging the elastic band down his straining length, lips watering in raw desire at the sight of the swollen head greeting you, leaking with beads of precum. Jin throws his head back against the headboard, lips parting in anticipation as you push the useless piece of cloth further down his ankles, making his raging length slap against his abdomen deliciously.

“Y/n.” He whimpers your name as your hands trace ghost touches against his inner thigh, thrilled to see the tight muscle flexing at the simplest of touches.

“Hmmm?” You hum again, hand finally wrapping around his length, giving him one sluggish pump.

“Fuck!” Jin screams, back arching forward as he struggles against his restrains once more, wanting nothing more than to have his eyes on you. To see you bent over his lap with that devious smile on your face as you pump him up and down. To see how you’d strategize pushing him to the edge of his pleasure. To see you ravish him.

“Do you want anything from me, Seokjin?”

Bloody hell, how can the mention of his name alone bring him so much pleasure?

“To get these handcuffs off of me.” Jin hisses through clenched teeth as you place a chaste kiss against the inside of his thigh, pleased to see another shiver coursing through him.

“Try for something more reasonable.” You start pumping him again, using your thumb to swipe over his head, collecting the beads of precum before spreading it back down his base.

“Mo-Mouth, please.” Jin whines, head thrown back as you speed your ministrations.

“What should I do with my mouth?” You run your nails against his abdomen, watching the muscle clench as he nibbles on his lower lip, battling on whether he was going to tell you what he wanted or torture himself as he waits for you to make the first move.

He opens his mouth, words dying down on his lips when you swipe your tongue flat against the head of his length, causing the older boy to buck his hips forward as a strangled moan bubbles against his throat. You give him no time to recover as you take him in whole, making sure that his tip hits the back of your throat before you’re pulling him out of your mouth with a lewd pop.

“Fuck, y/n please! No more teasing.” Jin all but pleas, words landing onto deaf ears as you bob your head up and down his length, cheeks hallowing as you swirl your tongue around him.

“I won’t last any longer!!” Jin balls his hands into fists, nails digging into the skin of his palms as he widens his eyes into the darkness, the feeling of your tongue overwhelming his senses and making him even more sensitive than he usually was.

“Are you?” You smile, giving one last swipe of your tongue against his base before you sitting up, delighted to see the beads of sweat trailing down his forehead and chest as he lets out pants, lips pulling back into a growl as he feels his oncoming orgasm curling back inside of him, shying away from him right when he was on the brink.

“I think it’s time you let my hands go, sweetheart.” The venom is back in his voice and you knew you’d just triggered the monster in him, a wave of adrenaline coursing through as you grab the hem of your shirt and pull it off of you. Jin strains his ears, eyebrows furrowing as he listens to your movements, stilling when you’re suddenly straddling him.

“Y/n.” He warns again but your fingers suddenly tap his mouth as you brush a chaste kiss against him, chest pressing against his own and causing Jin to let out a moan of frustration, feeling the hardened nubs of your nipples rubbing against him.

“Y/n, fuck! Let me go, please! Let me the fuck-”

Click.

Jin wastes no time, hands grabbing your hips as he flips your bodies over, hovering over you as he tears the blind fold off of his head and he glares down at you. You press your tongue against your teeth, smiling up innocently at him as you place your hands on his cheeks.

“Hi”

“Fuck your hi.” He hisses before his lips are on yours, fingers digging into the flesh of your breasts as he’s flicking his thumb over the hardened nipple. Your back arches against him and Jin uses his other free hand to trail down your body, biting back another groan when he finds you bare and ready for him. He runs the tip of his fingers against your folds, smirking against your lips as you rotate your hips, trying to get more of him into you.

“Bad girl.” He whispers against your earlobes, using one hand to hold your wrists over your head as he starts biting dark love bites against your neck, fingers still tantalizingly slow, running up and down your slit as he collected your juices, spreading them over your lips as he uses the pad of his palm to circle around your clit.

“You’re unbearable.” You whine against him, walls clenching against nothing as you beg to every deity for Jin to be gracious.

“And you’re unpredictable.” Jin chuckles, finger slowly pressing into your heat, lips curling into a smile as he listens to the breathless moan that escapes your lips as you shut your eyes in pleasure.

“You like that?” He smiles, pulling his finger out as he watches you clench around nothing before he’s slamming 2 digits back into you.

“Jin!” You scream out his name, stomach tightening as he continues to pump into you in a steady pace, finger curling and uncurling to reach the places he knew would drive you mad. You struggle against his grip, head snapping left and right as he swipes his tongue against one of your nipples.

“You knew what was coming for you, babe.” Jin chuckles darkly, the vibration setting you off as your body finally breaks, your orgasm spiraling against you and washing against Jin’s fingers as he rides out your high.

“So unpredictable, I didn’t expect you to cum that fast.” He grins, lips curving up devilishly as he lets go of your wrist, placing his arms on the bed on either side of your head as he stares down at you with affection, watching as you calmed down from your high.

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” You mumble, hands reaching to pull his dress shirt over his shoulders, eyes darkening at the sight of his shoulders, strong and broad as they flexed simply by holding himself up over you.

He hums in response, lowering his lower body against you, his length rubbing hard against your entrance. Your eyes widen and your lips part as he lets out a dark groan, burying his face against the crook of your neck.

“I won’t last long.” He whispers, eyes squeezing shut as he rubs himself up and down your entrance, allowing your juices to coat him as he waits for your consent.

Jin, who was simply expecting a nod of your head, once again fails in his predictions when you wrap your nibble fingers around the base of his length, aligning him directly to your entrance as you lower your hips down on him. Both your lips parting in divine pleasure as he bites down on your shoulder to shield the guttural moan bubbling against his lips.

Jin starts moving his hips, every snap bringing him closer to his breaking point after all the teasing you had evoked earlier. You grip his shoulders, eyes screwing shut as you feel him hitting the deepest parts of you, evoking a lucid moan of his name dancing from your mouth with every snap of his hips.

“Do you know how fucking crazy you drive me?” Jin hisses, hands flying down to your ass with a light slap before he’s squeezing your butt cheeks for dear life.

“Jin. I-I’m gonna come.” You pant and Jin’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he’s speeding up, angling his hips perfectly to slam against the spot that always had you seeing white.

“Again?” He groans, doing his best to hold his own high back, wanting nothing more than to send you over the edge one more time. He presses his thumb against you clit, rubbing the sensitive bud as you arch your back off of the bed, nails clawing into his shoulder blades as you’re shaking through your orgasm. The hard clench of your walls has Jin bucking his hips a few more times before the feeling of your juices coating his length finally breaks his restrain as his orgasm rakes through him.

He falls against you, head landing against the crook of your neck as both of you take a few minutes to compose yourselves, chests heaving and sweat dripping down your bodies.

“Never do that again.” Jin breaths out, pushing himself off of you as you let out a wide smile, pleased to see him so fucked out.

“Why not? It was fun!” You giggle.

“Fun my ass. Get on your stomach.” Jin mutters as he stands up, watching as you frown at his sudden change of demeanor and topic.

“What?”

“Just roll onto your stomach.” Jin sighs, grabbing his boxers off of the floor and slipping them on.

You arch an eyebrow at him but still follow his commands, flipping your body so that you were on your stomach. Jin smiles down at you, tapping your ass lightly before he’s grabbing his dress shirt and gently putting it over you. He grabs a clean shirt from one of his drawers, slipping it on before he’s smiling down at you like he was doing the most normal thing in the world acting the way he was.

“What is this for-” The words die down in your mouth as the door to his room flies open, loud laughs echoing through the space as Jimin and Yoongi step into view, oblivious to what they had just walked in on.

“Jin hyung, Yoongi just told me the sickest-” You’re wide eyes are now mirrored by the two pairs of eyes staring down at your barely covered body. Their lips part in shock just as you use your hands to cover the portion of your cleavage that was exposed to them, cheeks heating up in embarrassment as you watch Yoongi shoving Jimin out the door as they scramble out the room, a chorus of curses and sorry’s following after them as they slammed the door shut.

You immediately snap your head to the side, eyes digging lasers directed at Jin who was simply leaning against his dresser with an amused smile on his face.

“Whoops, totally didn’t expect that to happen.” He mutters in a teasing tone that has you balling your hands in disbelief.

“You saw them coming, didn’t you?” You hissed and Jin simply shakes his head, denying your claims.

“You should get dressed.” Jin winks as he leans down and presses a kiss against your forehead.

“Kim Seokjin, you future reading bastard-” You grab the collar of his shirt, bringing him down to your eye level, watching as his expression turns from teasing into concern, thinking that he really might have crossed the line with you tonight. He swallows the lump stuck in his throat, trying to find a way to apologize to you as he searches your eyes for forgiveness.

“- I love you.” You mumble, lips curling up in a smile when you see the dumbfounded expression that crosses his face. It takes Jin a few seconds to process your words before he’s breaking out in a wide grin, hands wrapping around your body as he showers chaste kisses against your face.

Jin was never sure of things when it came to you, not ever being able to see your future. But he was sure of absolutely one thing that concerned you. He didn’t know your future but-

You were his.

[charactersadvocatechimata]

Law of Life: Redheads are Absolute 3

This is the third part of this story and actually the original idea I had when I originally wrote this thing. But I love the idea of Baby!Natasha. So yeah. You get the first two parts and now this.

Tony can’t see anything in the dark room. He can’t hear the man either but something in the air shifts. Tony can feel the prickling along his arms and neck. A sensation that Tony has only ever felt around Carol, a level five Alpha. He presses a button, that Tony rigged for this very moment, turning on the lights in the common room. “I’ve been waiting for you, Sir. But I find myself disappointed, the rumors of your deeds had painted a more-” Tony pauses to swirl his hand at the other man. “-dashing picture. I’m underwhelmed.” The genius nods, huffing out a breath, and resting his head onto his palm.

The Alpha crinkles the paper, Tony’s message, and apparently trying to understand the mind of Tony Stark by glaring his boots into submission or something. “We’ve met before?” He’s brow wrinkles.

“Yes. We have indeed met when you kidnapped me. I was playing a bit. I got bored waiting for your ass to finally show up so we could talk.”

“Talk?” Silver blue eyes sweep the room and Tony finds himself already frustrated with the man.

“Yes, communication is very important for human interaction.” The genius wrinkles his nose. “So I’ve been told.” Another pause. “By everybody.” Racoon Man takes a step towards the only door, usually electronically locked with no way to open it in sight, resulting in Tony gathering himself from the couch to stand eye-to-eye (he stands on his tiptoes, but nobody has to know that) with the soldier. Glaring daggers the way he's seen Pepper do a thousand times. “We’re starting with names since I cannot keep calling you Racoon Man in my head. I’m tired of the nickname already. Of course, I could come up with any number of degrading nicknames but I usually save that particular circle of hell for my friends. Which you aren’t, Tarzan.”

His gaze makes another sweep of the room and makes an attempt to escape from Tony, well a couple of steps, but Tony lets the soldier keep the space. “Doesn’t matter.” The Alpha curls his shoulders inwards then takes another step back.

“If it doesn’t matter than give me something you overgrown pet rock.” A soft whine comes from the taller man’s throat and Tony bites back the next insulting nickname. “Anything. Please.” Tony tacked the please on because Rhodey always said it was a ‘magic word’. Magic, really.

“Designation the Winter Soldier project Asset,” he reported voice sterile of any emotions. The same way Natalie speaks sometimes which means Tony was kidnapped by a cult drinking crazy person. Lovely. At least he doesn’t appear to be with said cult anymore. Tony would definitely notice if someone tried to indoctrinate him. He’s smart like that. Cult escapee lets another soft whine, facing away from the genius and exposing his neck in a very un-Alpha fashion.

“Welp the only word I heard that can be used as an acceptable name is Winter. Congratulation you’re name is Winter Wolf because I like alliteration.” Tony can hear Winter whispering his name and letting one or two quiet giggles. It’s cute and Tony has to stop that thought right there before it goes anywhere. Because Tony does not have time for any cute crazy cult ninja people.

When the soldier continues to stay motionless, Tony finds himself voicing a heavy sigh feeling like he just finished a ten day engineering binge. But he can’t remain in this comfortable cage, Tony has a responsibility to SI.

“Winter?” Tony waits for the man to make any sign that he heard the genius but Winter continues he’s best impression of a statue. “Winter why’d you kidnap me? Hell, why the interest in the kids?” More silence and Tony is not sure what he expected from a man whose speech is limited to a five hundred word limit. Sign language, maybe? Does communicating in sign language count towards a word count? Tony has already added learning ASL to his to do list, perhaps he can drop a few hints to the word challenged Alpha that he should pick it up too. “Fuck. Can you at least treat me like a goddamn human and look me in the eyes?” Tony pleads.

Now that was a fucking mistake. Right up there with calling Pepper, Queen of the Strawberry Bitches. Gray eyes meet copper eyes sparking the tension in the room. First, a electrified shiver slides down Tony’s spine then his skin grew hot. His tongue felt fat in his mouth, and his knees shook. “The spider is my pup and the blonde is her brother.” Tony hadn’t noticed but something shifted between them or Winter came to some decision or something. What is clear is the steel in those gray eyes that were now clawing into Tony. The genius stood his ground refusing to kneel or bow his head in submission. Winter saw Tony’s determination and smirked. Another shiver rolled down. Where had all the space between them gone? There had been enough space for Dum-E yet now Winter’s nose was almost touching Tony’s nose. “You’re mine.”

No. Nope. Not happening. Tony pulled away and took a step back. Winter let him but not before brushing a finger along Tony’s jaw. Nope. Nada. He had made this mistake once already with Ty and not a single part of him wanted a repeat of Tony’s late teens. “No I’m not.”

“Mate.”

“I am no one’s mate,” Tony gripes.

The fucker had the gall to snort at Tony’s words. Like Tony was the one living in Delusional La La Land. Which for the record Tony is living in Reality Practical Land. No delusions for him. “You’ve adopted my pups.” Tony curse. How’d the fucker figure that out? Sure, Tony had fallen for Nat’s creepy charms and Clint’s contradictory personality but that did not mean he was anyone’s Mom or caretaker or anything.

“So we bonded. Doesn’t mean anything.” Winter hums confidently. Tony’s not even sure how. One moment the soldier was acting like a beaten dog then the next it’s all 'I’m the Alpha.' Just what the fuck?! “If you’re hoping for the Stockholm Syndrome to kick in then you’re going to be waiting awhile Buckaroo.” Tony makes a note that Buckaroo is not an approved nickname, if the new tightness around Winter’s eyes is any indication. “Hey, you still with me?” he says softly.

“I’ll let you go.”

“What! What’s the catch?”

Winter shrugs, his eyes finally off Tony and the tension leaked from the room. “I want you to agree freely and you won’t abandoned my pups.” Another shrug.

“What? You want visitation rights?” Winter side eyed Tony and the genius figured that no Winter had not been thinking about visitation rights but he was going to make the most of Tony’s mistake.

“Yeah. And court you too.”

“No.” Howard would not like some weird Alpha sniffing around the manor. Totally ignoring the fact Tony had no way of explaining said Alpha. Or the kids Tony adopted. Maybe it would be best to leave everything up to Pepper. Yes. Pepper can handle everything. Genius! Winter grins wide and Tony can feel his heart stutter. The asshole gaze pinpoints at Tony’s chest and smirks. Winter being hot didn’t mean anything. “No. I say.”

“Sure.” Sure the soldier says, and it's it's just that fuckers luck that Tony loves bad ideas especially when they're wrapped in excellent technological wrapping. 

First||Prev||Next

[theherblifeblog]

New Year Book Club; 20 books to Inspire

By Leighana Martindale

I have had quite the book obsession lately, as my Grandma would joke, “Do you know what they call me? — a bibliophile”, which means lover of books. But seriously, I have been spending way too many books lately, I justify it in my mind because reading is great for your mind, I love learning and many of the books I read have helped me grow. That and Powell’s Books is fucking amazing, right by my house, and honestly has the best pricing I’ve ever seen! For those of you who aren’t familiar with Powell’s, it is the worlds largest independent bookstore and literally takes up an entire city block. If you’re ever in Portland, it’s my number one recommendation.

As a bibliophile, I have a long list of books I would recommend and an even larger list of ones I want to read. So here is a list of books that inspired me to write the 2020 Health Series as well as books I am interested in reading this year to continue the healing!

Imperfect Spirituality

Polly Campbell

This book is beyond eye-opening and heart-changing in a number of ways. Hitting hard on how the ego is afraid of imperfection, making us fearful of it. But when we act from fear, we can make disastrous and harmful decisions, even if we don’t mean for them to be. Perfection is unattainable, and in the words of Polly Campbell herself:

“When we stick to a narrow path and the perspective that there is only one right way of doing things, we miss out on the wisdom and opportunities we need and crave to grow and live a purposeful life.”

Where to Begin

Cleo Wade

This book of poetry is an inspiring one you’ll want to reread over and over. Cleo Wade has a way with words and her many poems, notes, and stories throughout this book make you feel warm inside, especially with this cold and gloomy winter.

“Baby you are the strongest flower that ever grew. Remember that when the weather changes.” Cleo Wade

Women Who Run with Wolves

Clarissa Pikola Estés

Honestly, this is my bible. I have read and reread this book front to back and back to front. The tales that Dr. Estées vividly shares in this book carry a weight of importance and guidance for the reader. Often diving into the depths of the psyche and archetypes. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has never read.

Witches Sluts Feminists

Kristen J. Sollee

Get ready to get pissed off. But in the most informing and liberating way. This book should also come with a TRIGGER WARNING. I generally do not get triggered when reading, but this got me. I recommend taking it slow, chapter by chapter. And if you need to stop and digest, stop! I know I had to put down the book a lot because I would be like WTF?, but again, SO INFORMATIVE and really reshaped the way I think about certain things.

The Desire Map

Danielle LaPorte

This book is one I have read through, just picked up in a random spot and restarted over and over. The Desire Map helps you define your core desires, core beliefs, and core desires. This book is a true guide to creating goals with soul’. If you do purchase this book, I would recommend not writing in the workbook section and instead of using a journal. I bought this book for myself about 5 years ago and still redo the workshops to this day. It’s nice to leave blank for a restart.

Emergent Strategy

Adrienne Maree Brown

Change is constant and when you resist change, you create your own suffering. While accepting certain things and trying to move through them is easier said than done, Emergent Strategy is a ‘radical self-help, society-help, and planet-help’ book that helps us adapt and shape change.

A Girl’s Guide to Joining the Resistance

Emma Gray

Published two years post-Trump [p.s.: when I type ‘fuck’ into my phone, my autocorrect changes is to ‘fucktrump’ because I’ve said that so many times. Just a happy quirk to brighten your day] this book starts with the horrors of what that fucker was able to accomplish in his first few months. But more importantly! This book goes into details of what YOU can do, how we can resist and continue to fight for what is right, what is moral, and for the change we demand to see.

Small Doses

Amanda Seales

Comedian, writer, actress, and quite frankly political activist, Amanda lays it the fuck out in this book and it is a must read. This book is full of essays, illustrations, authenticity, and inherent truths empowering readers to find their own truth and grow!

Profit over People

Noam Chomsky

Noam Chomsky is known as “the father of modern linguistics” and a major philosopher. He was an outspoken opponent to the U.S. and Vietnam War, and known for his overall antiwar stance and activism.

This book, People Over Profit, discusses neoliberalism and global order, discussing the root of the crisis and tracing the history of neoliberalism. Chomsky exposes the increasing interference by the private sector in global affairs and highlights movements of resistance.

Terrorizing the Neighborhood

Noam Chomsky

Another Chomsky book, Terrorizing the Neighborhood dives into American Foreign Policy in the post cold war era. Tracing the origins, goals, and implications of the US foreign policy in the years following World War II.

Wild Creative

Tami Lynn Kent

This book is all about tapping into and igniting that passion and potential with all your relationship, whether it be work, home, or life. We all hold the creative power and have the opportunity to truly flow with it. Tami truly helps you tap into this and tap into your power.

Awakening to the Spirit World

Sandra Ingerman & Hank Wessleman

Ever been curious about Shamans and their spiritual practices, traditions, and journeys? This book is for you then! Exactly as the title says this book dives into the Spirit World and the techniques you can use to tap into that part of your being.

Evolution of Goddess

Emma Mildon

This book is a mixture of spirituality and activism, calling it spiritual activism. I have only scratched the surface of this book and can already tell it is going to be perspective-altering. I would highly recommend this one if you are into both spirituality and activism.

How to Start a Revolution

Lauren Duca

This is one on my list, Lauren Duca writes a funny yet important guide on challenging the status quo. She also sends a reminder that we (looking at you too generation Z) are the people who WILL change the world.

Well, That Escalated Quickly

Franchesca Ramsey

This book is full of essays, memoirs, and mistakes of an accidental activist and comedian - exploring “race, identity, online activism, and the downfall of real communication in the age of social media rants, trolls, and call-out wars”

Burn it Down; Women Writing About Anger

Lilly Dancyger

One that I really want to get this year, Burn It Down is a collection of essays from 22 ferocious women and how anger has shaped their lives. In world where women are expected to be compliant these 22 women are taking authority, demanding a seat at the table, and are willing to share their stories with us to inspire.

I Am Malala

Christina Lamb & Malala Yousafzai

Malala Yousafzai is probably one of the biggest badasses on this entire planet and yet she is so damn humble! If you do not know the story or even if you do, get this book, support this woman! Malala was 10 when the Taliban took over her home, Swat Valley in Pakistan. When they said girls couldn’t go to school, Malala spoke out and the Taliban found her and gunned her down. After a bullet in the head, she didn’t stop, she didn’t back down, and she doesn’t even hate them!! No wonder she was the youngest person ever to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.

Heart Talk

Cleo Wade

A book of poetry, illustrations and beautiful stories. Cleo has been called “the Millennial Oprah” by New York Magazine and I couldn’t agree more! Her words are so beautiful, empowering and inspiring. This book focuses on poetic wisdom for a better life.

Feminasty

Erin Gibson

Witty, highly educational, and absolutely no fucks given in regards to Mike Pence, this book is a must fucking read! If you are pissed off about ‘the man’ or the system, but you’re looking to educate yourself and know your shit about issues, this is it. While it may not look like the most factual book, Erin Gibson really did her research and lays it out in easy to read laughable segments.

Becoming
 

Michelle Obama

A must-read for all the obvious reasons like how fucking much of a boss babe Michelle Obama is! Please run for President!! ...but seriously.