#not a PSA just a personal ramble lol

[aucatgirl]

I got diagnosed with bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features in October, but I’m talking about it more now bc it’s really starting to sink in how much it explains for me… like… woag. This is crazy. My behavior is actually explainable and relatively common. Not only am I not overreacting for continually saying I had an undiagnosed mental illness, but it is as severe as I believed. Sometimes your intuition is right

For years I felt crazy whenever I told people I had psychosis But Only Sometimes, and couldn’t figure out what could possibly cause that. Apparently around half of people with bipolar 1 have psychosis during episodes and then have memory loss/regret after the fact. That’s wild.

Getting misdiagnosed as ADHD despite not having symptoms as a child? So apparently bipolar and ADHD can present very similarly on the surface. Had no clue about that. What’s funny is that I would “switch” between hyperactive and inattentive types. Not how that works, lol

Getting way motivated to write and write and write forever but only sometimes? Very common and recorded thing, the reason why a lot of famous writers have bipolar. One of my psychiatrist’s other patients wrote a large poetry book in less than a week. I wrote a fantasy novel in a month

The thing I feel the most shame about, self isolating at the slightest stress and having a sort of “on and off” approach to relationships? Whoops. Not great, but common, typically a result of rejection sensitivity and/or psychosis. It’s the unfortunate reality that you may be difficult to be friends with. It’s not worth getting into a self-hate spiral for, though, there are plenty of patient people in the world and you just have to keep learning to manage

And the thing I always beat myself up for, I felt like I couldn’t get help because I cycled through “mental illness? What mental illness? I’m totally fine!” to “I need serious help but I feel too depressed and awful to do it”. Super common. It’s the reason a lot of people w bipolar stop taking their meds. That’s wild, too.

I really wish I’d known these things about bipolar outside of the basics before because I might’ve recognized it in myself. Or maybe not, because self-awareness in bipolar tends to be extremely low, and so was mine!!

[elephantlovemedleys]

boleynecklace -> elysabeththequeene -> elephantlovemedleys

[lazzarella]

Okay, I wanted to note down basically every single moment because there was just SO MUCH goodness, ahhhhh. Anyway, here's some rambling from me:

- Noooooo, technical issues?? Whyyyyy? My life is meaningless D:

- ...oh, here we go! Yes!

- Oh no! :( Poor Yak! (I figured his mum was dead but oof)

- Wandee hugging Yoryak! And taking his hand! Ahhhh, opening strong with Dee looking after Yak <3

- Is Ter jealous because he like likes Dee? (A question I kept asking throughout this ep—I think he’s mostly just put out to no longer be the centre of attention)

- "You should know he moves on fast" then Ter said something about "too fast this time" ??? Curious about this??? Maybe just about his dating history?

- Lol @ Yak and Dee dropping each other's hands when they spot Kwan and Ter!!!

- "They have really good chemistry" You're so right, Doctor Kwan

- TER LIVES IN 666!!! Lmaooooooooo. Nice work, set folk!

- that whole conversation over breakfast about Yak being jealous and then already having someone he likes was soooo delicious to me

- TEACHING HIM TO FLIRT!!!!! Oh dee, what have you done, you silly boy? XD he really played himself

- THEY WERE GONNA KISS! God, I want them to kiss already but I also loooove the almost kiss moments so much. Just... the LONGING ugh

- "Did you like that?" Oh, he very much did, Yak

- The whole talk between Yak and Cher... Aside from the content, I love their interactions because it's just nice seeing them established as family I guess?? Like, that Cher isn't just his brother's boyfriend

- Yak saying he's not someone who changes his mind easily is interesting to me! Not just because he obviously does for Dee, but I wonder if that's partly why he's clinging to liking Taem? I mean, I'm not saying he doesn't still have feelings. Just spitballing

- The training scene killed me! Yak getting horny and flustered watching Dee do situps! Dee immediately jumping to Yak being sick and wanting to make sure he's okay! Yak calling Dee cute and *Dee* getting flustered! Taem coming in and seeing them horse around!! Dee getting jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!

- (speaking of horses, I don't understand all the sound effects yet, so I'm not sure what the horse neighing is meant to signify??)

- Have some thoughts about how I love how much of this ep is circling their developing feelings for each other via their feelings for others' (or Yak's anyway)

- the music changes between soft and romantic when the camera is on Yak and Dee vs fighty and upbeat when it's on Dee watching them is too funny lmao

- this situation is getting very 'you love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody eeeeeelse' (Dee and Yak and Taem and Ter and Kwan and Ohm!!! That's a love hexagon???)

- Taem clocked the necklace 😏

- "Why do you complicate the thing that's already complicated?" Ouch. Kao doesn't know it but he totally called me out there lol

- Isn't their 'fake' dating going to put Taem off though??? I mean, IDT she likes Yak that way at all, but still

- loving the complicated feelings this show is going into! Because Yak does probably still like Taem while he's falling for Dee, and Dee still must feel something for Ter while he's falling for Yak and mmmm. Just delicious!

- and they NEARLY KISSED AGAIN! And then Dee pushed Yak and splashed him lol

- they are SO unconvincing (their reasons for Dee sleeping over)

- love the dinner scene with Dee, Yak, Cher and Yei <3 I love that Cher and Yei are so welcoming to him, even while they let Yak sort out his feelings

- Aww, I had a feeling he was finishing uni for his mum! And I love that he tells Dee that while he wasn't comfortable telling Yei

- Dr Kwan deserves better

- Dee cheering for Yak!!! <3

- Okay, of all the ways they end up tiger/bunny roleplaying, Kao getting them to do it was NOT on my radar lol except Dee is a leopard not a tiger

- Yak sulking! Dee coaxing him with a hug and a cheek sniff kiss!!! Yesssssssss

- ...and now it's a HPV vaccine PSA? Cool! I personally don't really need shows to give me sex ed but, you know what, good on 'em, anyway! I know sex ed, especially on queer sex, is pretty dire…probably most places? So yeah

- Sigh. And the countdown to next week begins again!

[vacantgodling]

re. about

you may call me: ren, renjamin, rimz, r.a.a, or vacant

refer to me with he/him pronouns (masculine nicknames like ‘king’ & terms of endearment like ‘dear’ or ‘sweetie’ are also good. just nothing overtly feminine like ‘queen’ is the gist)

i am 26 and my birthday is october 2

i am black, transmasc, neurodivergent, and queer (achillean or yknow gay if you want to be specific. i’m a fag ok.)

as a psa: i don’t care if minors follow me but i’m not your parent so proceed at your own risk.

aside from writing i like: playing video games (mostly overwatch, my special interest for a ridiculous amount of time. but also, legend of zelda & the sims), drawing (when it’s not annoying me), gothic literature & older books with flowery prose, the colors pink, black & gold, history, anime (older anime+demon slayer really), and i’m learning japanese (to the best of my ability. むずかしです)

re. wips

find a list of all my wips HERE! i work on them sporadically when inspiration strikes. find a wip sampler where i show off a piece of prose from the work to give you a sense of its vibe HERE!

if you’re interested in being on my taglists, fill this form out!

my 2023 year in review!

also, for ease of access: current tag games i’m doing (i want to keep track of it this year)

last line tag 2024

wbw 2024

ask games 2024 (general)

tcol character tournament!

re. connect

here are other places you can find me:

bluesky || cohost || pinterest

my partner yves and i make stories together, which is here -> @mothgrudge (i also rb a lot on @babylonsfalling)

i have a discord so if we’ve spoken feel free to ask for it (however i don’t really do servers. maybe one day, but for now no)

maybe this year i’ll work on an actual website & i’d love to make a youtube where i just talk about shit so… maybe, we’ll see...

re. navigation

talking -> musings and personal thoughts

about renjamin -> insight to me / who i am

ren analysis -> when i get meta about my wips

ren mix -> a treasure trove of my music taste

ren polls -> any polls i make

ren reads -> for my ramblings and analysis as i try to get back into books

friends tag -> talking with friends or boosting my friends work

others work -> boosting other writeblrs work

hall of fame -> praise / things that make me happy that i want to keep

ren writing -> all of my writing in one place

ren poems -> all of my poems in one place

short stories tag -> micro or flash fiction bits and bobs

ren art -> all my art

q eh you eh -> queue

sex mention -> tag for any sexual content.

worldbuilding -> all of my worldbuilding notes across all my wips

ren hot cakes -> specifically for my overly opinionated opinions

to read -> others works that i need to get around to reading

rens ocs but sims -> for when i make my ocs in the sims lol

ren plays -> me talking about video games but it’s usually overwatch

ren is jopping on main -> for the rare occasions where i talk about kpop

character stats -> when i decide to compare and contrast my ocs to see trends

ren rabbit hole -> i like history and mythology and the ancient world and i Will ramble about it

[terraliensvent]

ya sorry vibez but u need to stop if ppl here r telling u to take a step back

its clearly not staff targeting you when multiple people here think the thing you posted looked like a terra and u literally admit to trying to make them mad

imo u cant complain about them being inconcistent with rules then get mad when they do uphold them cuz be honest the other characters posted in comparison dont look like terras. i think the rule is stupid too but criticize that not the fact your thing got deleted

gen q, what would a new psa even cover considering they added the no 13+ species rule bcuz personally i dont think design approval inconsistency is worthy of a google doc but that’s just my opinion, i think psas should be saved for rlly bad shit not just my design got told no or staff deleted my message

sorry for rambling lol i just think we all need to move on

post related

yeah its one thing to just talk normally about it but to dwell on the one thing thats honestly, comparatively very tame in the way vibez has been not the best, especially considering the fact theyre talking about making a spite species based off terras.

[maninthemiroh]

🌧️,🥥, &🌊!

Ok, so, for some reason, I chose to answer each question about a different DR? Hope you're alright with that, lol 💀. I also did some A+ rambling.

🌧️ Question: Who will be the first person you talk to in your DR that you’re excited to meet & how will the conversation go?

🌧️ answer, about my Boku No Hero Academia DR: Ok, so I actually got the basis for this DR from a really good unfinished Quotev 'MHA boys x Tamaranean!fem!reader' fic from years ago, so that person is Izuku and I will end up talking with him almost immediately and, for him, it will not be the most pleasant of conversations because it'll mostly be me threatening him and unintentionally belittling his strength. Also, I kiss him with tongue because that's how Tamaraneans learn languages 😭

🥥 question: List three specific smells from your DR and explain why you chose each of them.

🥥 answer, about my jujutsu Kaisen DR: Gunpowder, raspberries, and cypress. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Kitti… gunpowder?" And, to that I say, "yes, gunpowder." This is because it has been named as the odor of the moon and one of my cursed techniques harnesses the power of the Chinese zodiac, which is based on what? The moon cycle. I also keep that thang on me. A similar connection can be made with my second listed scent because raspberries have, for some reason that I don't fully understand, been theorized to be what space smells like (???) and I like raspberries, anyways, they're tasty, so why not? Cypress, though? Cypress is a frequently used plant in a lot of Chinese medicinal herb recipes which I, myself, would often utilize in that DR. Additionally, I feel like Yūji would smell like that, for some reason? I don't feel like it's cologne either, he just does?

🌊 question: Pretend your DR has one of those filler-beach-day episodes, what's everyone doing?

🌊 answer, about my Golden Trio era DR: I'm probably off shade-bathing somewhere and pretending not to be keeping watch over everyone else lest I get teased for caring about them and or any of them get kidnapped, AGAIN 🙄, Emil is laying on the pool chair next to me and staring holes into my pecs (he is NOT subtle, I can see his dumbass in my peripheral), Eunjeong is searching for Lepus because he wandered off, Lepus is dutifully taking notes on the thestral that somehow broke into the private pool …I see both of them, I just think Eunjeong's worry is funny, Garbhán is playing sharks and minnows with Hari, Wati, and Aisling. Garbhán is the shark, he's losing terribly. No one knows why he always chooses that role, it never ends well for him. His nickname is "Garbháge'' for a reason 😬. Ing is sunbathing, Oxalá is taking photos of everybody, Grazia is trying to catch Garb's attention and failing, Sabri is practicing magic with the water on some ATLA bender ish, and Theo, Shaurya, Aasha, Blessing, Flora, Fauna, Enyinnaya, Keahi, Makena, Kevin, Daphne, Astoria, Flinn, and Flann are, like, actually enjoying the water. Additionally, Aera wasn't invited, Ayomide turned down the invite, and Ayotunde is 2 hours late, but joins the group who's actually swimming.

PSA: I renamed most everyone in the Potterverse, so all of these people aside from Enzo, Ing and Theo are actual characters… Cannon counterparts will be explicitly explained in my Golden Trio era DR intro 😭

[jerzwriter]

PSA...

I have struggled with if I should share this or not. I changed my mind many times over the past 16 hours, but it will likely eat at me if I don't... and I want to get out of this headspace. Then, I want to go back to doing what I came here for. Because right now, I'm so disgusted. I truly want no part of this shit ever again.

Like most of you, I am here for a love of a story and characters and because I found joy in reading/writing and sharing with you. As time went on, I stayed because of a community found. We have some of the loveliest, kindest souls in this fandom. I've always said 1% of the fandom caused 99% percent of the problems.

Consider these lessons learned. Mistakes made. Things I've witnessed. Things I've had done to me, and some that I've done. Ramblings... a wish list I never expect to be realized. I do think you can enjoy your time here; because 90% of the time, I do. But to do so, you have had to tune out the noise, check your ego, use mirrors, and focus on the few people that make your time here magical. People who remember why we came here to begin with. For those people, I'm so grateful. You're half the reason I'm still here.

Anon hate is best deleted.

I'm going to share an interesting link later; not shocking...but shocking. It's best deleted. It took me a long time to learn that, but that's what I do now. It's what I did last night. But I have to ask... does everyone who sends nasty, hateful shit anonymously end with, "And people wonder why the fandom is dying?" YEAH! Because of YOU! lol Self-awareness is a good thing. It boggles my mind how people do horrible things (and sending anon hate is always a horrible thing) and somehow feel they're righteous. Babes, if you think you were treated unjustly, speak with your full face and let your voice be heard. Sorry, anon hate is ALWAYS childish, pathetic, and wrong.

Fandom Divison.

I think it is SO FUCKED UP. And the fact that the majority of us are grown-ass adults makes it 10 times worse, but after nearly 2 years here, I can say it's new, and I don't see it changing. I used to want to help fix it, but I no longer think it's worth the effort, and trying can honestly even make things worse. Too many are in love with the chaos. Too many people hate too many others for the most ridiculous reasons, it's not going to stop.

I'm well aware when I start an event, a good number of people won't participate solely because it's me running it. Hell, many people here won't share their bestie's profile if they're highlighted on a side blog Kathy & I run because Kathy & I run it. That's not a poor me moment, not only because I don't care but because I know I'm not alone. As wrong as it is, everyone deals with it.

I want you to read this because it's important:

I do not know one person on this hellsite that has started a fandom event that has NOT gotten at least some hate for it.

Read that again, just for trying to do something nice. It takes a thick skin to "survive," it shouldn't be this way in a place we come to have fun, but sadly, it does.

Some advice:

Everyone - and I mean everyone - me included... we're not mindreaders. If you are, stop wasting your time here and go profit off that shit. That anon you got? You are SO SURE you know who it is? You don't. I mean, you might be right... but with the way people play games here? There is a good chance you don't. I've done this shit myself. When I'm wrong, I say it, and I learn from it. And this is a lesson learned. Unless you're tracking that IP, baby, you don't know. And if you do start tracking IPs, fasten up... you're going to be in for some shocks... and not the good kind.

STOP the hypocrisy. You don't get to have a minor meltdown and put someone on the do not engage/enemy for life list because their cousin in a fandom 3 times removed is using a FC that you used once in 2017... and their cousin has no clue... then a month later defend your BFF when they do the same thing. If you slam someone because their MC got a cat, because your MC got a cat first (and clearly, you're the ONLY one in the fandom whose MC can have a cat <- sarcasm) don't get pissed when someone thinks you had your MC get married at Christmas just because they did it first. Maybe, in addition to stopping the hypocrisy, we should start giving others the benefit of the doubt? If we expect it, then maybe we should give it, too. Again, this applies to all... even me... so stop playing the fandom's favorite game of "I know who she's talking about." Trust. You don't.

Stop worrying about other people's HCs. None of our characters are real, but the people behind them are. Don't like their ideas? You don't have to. The world doesn't exist to please any of us. Please learn what fandom is. We're here to make canon our own. Don't like it? Don't read it. Don't like someone? Don't interact with them. But don't send them hate. Don't tell others they can't befriend them. Just ... be an adult.

If you want to read someone, read them. Want to reblog? Do it. Afraid someone will be pissed about it? Fuck them, and you really may want to consider if you want them in your orbit if they are putting this pressure on you. For the record, I will never give a shit about who anyone reads or doesn't read... this wasn't a life lesson... this is one I've always known, and can't believe we're so petty about here.

Lose the goddamn victim complexes... and to those who are dealing with people with victim complexes... watch closely. That shit's not normal. And don't waste your precious time trying to convince people of who you are. Be genuine. Be direct (god, we need more of that here), and be yourself. Everyone won't like you, and that's ok because the ones who should be around you will.

I wrote this to get it off my chest. I'll probably delete it later. I don't want comments. I set it so it can't be reblogged. If people want to share it... TRUST this fandom knows how to screenshot VERY well. I'll make them work for it.

I'm just so sick and fucking tired of the nonsense here... aren't you?

[sakumasmut]

good evening fellow png men enjoyers i need some air im in love with himeru and im obsessed with butlers these days (dgaf about yuzuru for some reason though) butler himeru card makes my head hurt so himeru butler au (?) no reason why him im just insane (he's SO hot please) i just want to be a rich person living in a giant mansion accompanied by a handsome blue haired man in a tight fitting suit . i just want him to feed me wash me be pretty next to me . hhhngghhhhhhh . . .

i feel like he could be that kind of butler who's super loyal like a doggie but also would snap at his master any moment + some power bottom energy , i guess ? he'd agree to make mandatory fucking his duty , to the point you'd basically be demanding him to fuck you every night , he'd always have his face ready to be fucked , fingers ready to work , cock rock hard and out seconds after you call him in that tone . and you think you're always in charge but at some point you end up getting pounded by him and you whimper "no you can't breed me i'm your master" and he just goes "why yes i can" since he knows damn well you would've stopped him long time ago if you didn't want this and keeps on doing his thing . and he'd remain as professional as possible , too . he just wants to prove his devotion to his master , to fullfil master's desire ! the thought of him , a humble servant , impregnating such a big and important person is so hot for him . having their master show up with a rounded belly in public and causing havoc and all sorts of rumors . he'd just have to stand silently behind his master and be slightly smirking at his work . anything for a fat paycheck and his master's smile . hiccups

bonus psa never fuck your employees

nonnie you get it tho!! fucking love master servant dynamic but reversed where he’s the one who’s really in charge when he’s breeding you. doesn’t matter if you demand for it when he’s the one who really decides when he fucks you. and I do see what you mean, he’s loyal but only because it benefits him greatly and you do exactly what he likes, making your meals and such is nothing compared to getting to pin you down later that night

funny you say you don’t care for yuzu tho bc I was thinking of something with cnc impreg with him that’s a bit similar with the master butler thing, except he’s the one being unwilling to knock you up so you have to force him to fulfill his duty (of giving you his bastard) sorry for derailing I’ll post that ramble separately some other time lol

[broomsticks]

One of the things that also bothers me about the “you must experience *insert trauma* in order to write darkfic about” narrative it is that it requires disclosure (which not all people want to do) and sometimes even veers into the territory of having to provide proof. When people like survivors of assault often have compounded trauma of not having evidence, having people doubt them or try to ruin their credibility. They don’t need to also face that from people because they read/wrote a FANFIC.

It also fosters this culture where people think it’s normal/acceptable to share really explicit trauma with strangers with little warning. And then even use it as a trump card. Like Person A might say, “Really loved *insert fic with an age gap relationship*”, and a total STRANGER feels entitled to say, “Wow, well I *insert graphic description of grooming/assault/etc*, so—” When 1) you don’t know what Person A has been through (again, gets at forced disclosure), and 2) you’re potentially triggering people by making them unexpectedly have to read something that they might not be in the right headspace to see.

Idk. I feel like I’m not saying this in a way that makes sense but I have a lot of feelings about it.

unnecesarily rambling answer inc. first of all: i completely agree with you. that’s the point of my tag #a psa on forced disclosure (see also the last reblog). i’ve seen writers get wildly dogpiled on and ‘forced’ into disclosing why they made the writing choices that they did, and it’s awful. fuck that. bad enough when the person whose identity/legitimacy under attack is a mainstream trad pub author (or professional actor) who has an entire professional team to manage this for them — but fanfic authors??? regular people? whose fic was maybe only intended to be read by like five people and who are just hoping their efforts in this silly little hobby will make their lives a little more bearable, a little more fun even? no real people are getting hurt, except maybe people who have wandered into a space they weren’t meant to be in, that wasn’t meant for them. yeah no patience for that here — and all the sympathy for these poor authors. you did not deserve that. you do not need to justify yourselves. also: the only things you are obligated to warn for on AO3 are the four major archive warnings. CNTW is a perfectly valid option too. ANYTHING else is courtesy.

as a very happy enjoyer of darkfic, if i have any trauma at all, it is entirely my business to decide who i want to tell, how, what, when, etc! my choice to not disclose anything publicly here—including age and pronouns—is 100% intentional i promise. i could be a minor. i’m on multiple 18+ discord servers. i’m not a minor 😂 i could be a swamp thing. if the possibility of that makes you uncomfortable genuinely please leave, i do not want to make anyone uncomfortable here!

ON a very different note — that said, there are benefits to disclosing! very different from Trauma (or is it?) but i personally found it extremely helpful that a lot of these fics were tagged or otherwise mentioned in the a/ns to be written by disabled authors. same too with POC characters, and gender/sexual minorities — it makes me a) more likely to seek these fics out, and b) read them with a slightly different eye than i might otherwise. so. i reiterate, not an obligation, AT ALL, but i’m very thankful for any authors who feel safe enough to share these things about themselves!

i also do wonder if choosing to disclose and talk about it might be empowering, in a way — but to be clear: this is a completely separate discussion from forced disclosure. i hardly imagine forced disclosure is empowering for anybody lol.

[fvcking-damage]

third time has to be the charm 🙃 introductory post because i tried to make a carrrd and then i gave up

hi, i’m ryan! and this is my hockey sideblog:) welcome!

- early twenties

- mexican

- any pronouns

- all my follows, likes and replies are from my main, @unnatural-disasterr

- join the bruins goal tag list here!!

- i occassionally write! i write silly little au fics! go to my fic list :9

- my thoughts can be found on #ryan rambles and random-unrelated things to sports on #misc

- in case you need it, i’m a taurus but i personally don’t believe in astrology

- any sort of bigotry will not be tolerated in this blog. i won’t hesitate on blocking.

- my ask is always open, and you can ask as you wish! ask anything! if i forget to answer your ask i promise i will eventually get to it :)

*players and teams i vibe with:*

boston bruins

pittsburgh penguins

boston fleet

carly jackson

sarah nurse

marc-andré fleury

chris kreider and mika zibanejad

brandon tanev

carey price

anze kopitar

most ex bruins & ex penguins

and some other guys i forgot to put here lol

extra psa: if you reblog a post of mine, or one of my mutuals’ through me with the tags “i don’t like the bruins but” “i hate the bruins but” “fuck the bruins but” you are getting blocked. just reblog the damn post and leave. “i don’t go here” is fine but any of the above or variation of them is gonna get you blocked!

[rothalion]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but the way I write ship tags leaves little room for further ships with duplicate muses. So I’ve considered that, rather than defining blogs (given I’ve rewritten tags and decided not to define blogs this is pretty much set in stone now) I’m most likely gonna be only shipping with one blog’s version of a canon muse. Ocs are fine because, well, there’s no copies of them. I considered at one point defining the blogs but then it would come off as me just, collecting ships? Which I’ve seen has been a gripe with a handful of blogs and I understand how it would look and how it makes people feel. I like to ship obviously, but I never wish to make people feel uncomfortable and like I only value them for the muse they write so long as they ship with me. No, I value all my rp partners and friendships are just as important as romantic ships.

Obviously, I will likely make the occasional exception for close friends because... well, I’ma biased little shit lmfao. I am also likely going to retire ships if a blog is too inactive, though I welcome chitchat and discord and such if you still wish to discuss our muses.

[vampyre-lesbian]

just so y'all know, I saw tros and I am unapologetically a ben solo stan. i know a lot of people don't like him so u can feel free to block my "ben solo" tag or just unfollow me if you hate him that much. I'll keep tagging things "tros spoilers" for those who haven't seen the movie yet!

[lazzarella]

Well, here we are! My last post of rambly notes about Wandee Goodday. It's been fun, but I don't think I'll do this for another show XD

- Here we go!

- even Great and his magnificent bosom can't make me interested in boxing, alas

- Oh. Ter actually came. Okay!

- Lol, they really don't need to pair everyone off or redeem everyone, but I'm not bothered either? That’s just peripheral to me

- Ahhh, Dee's pep talk was so cheesy! I love it!

- Well, that was obvious! (That it was Yak under the Nazgûl getup. He's a living Kermit meme!)

- imagine being able to punch the manifestation of your grief and trauma in the face to be able to deal with it??? Sign me up!

- Stop boxing and start smooching already!!

- (Dee and Yak. Not Yak and Mason lmao)

- Heyyyyy! TKO!

- "When it comes to Yak, I've never felt tired" Awww! Yei! :')

- Yak saying Dee believes in him more than he believes in himself was also kinda cheesy, but like... I don't care. That was so lovely!

- "This belt is yours" ;__;

- Ahhhh!!!! Seeing them in the ring together with Yak twirling Dee around while everyone cheers made my little heart nearly pop! Two men in love in a boxing ring with everyone cheering for them???

- IDK why Ter is happy about this now lmao whatever! I'm here for ROMANCE and I'm getting oodles of it

- KAO AND HIS BOO! YEAH, BOY!

- Ahhhhhh, they're ADORABLE!

- Talking about finding someone who understands you - yes! That's what it's about! That's what the whole show is about tbh

- lol, Dee wearing the belt! That's cute :3

- awww! Birthday cake! Dee's so cute and sweet <3

- "Who said I was playing?" SCREAMING!! My flirty Dee is back <333

- omg eating the cream off him fuuuuuudggggggge

- Oh! Now they're in bed lol

- how do they always end up on the floor after sex? What are they doing? Is this a normal thing to happen? (Seriously asking lmao)

- Dee has the sweetest smile omg

- "It feels like paradise to make love to the person I love" slfjsdkfjdsklfjsdlkfjdslkfjd

- "Let's celebrate" ... with soy milk! My favourite celebration drink!

- "I'm so proud that I get to take care of you" ahhhh! That's such a lovely thing to say!

- omg, Dee looked like he was going to cry about the necklace! D:

- Yak is so cute :3

- ahhh, another necklace kiss! God, I'm weak for those

- this is very asexuality 101 PSA but, like... How many shows even use the word asexual at all?? So, I don't care!

- ooh, I love the idea of Blue figuring himself out! That's cool to see too!

- (I'm honestly not mad that we didn't get more of Kao and Blue like I know a lot of others are, but I also wouldn't be mad to see their story in a spinoff. It won't happen, but I wouldn't be mad if it did)

- LMAOOOOO @ Golf banning Kao 🤣

- the whole montage with Dee talking to Gooddy about good days was nice! It's true, we can't have perfect days, but we can have good ones

- ahhh, Blue and Kao helping Golf do online dating!!

- "Good days are different for everyone" :D

- Ahhh! I love how Yak calls Dee's grandma his idol!!! Heeeee

- Aww, Inn is wearing his own clothing brand lol

- "You're an important person in my family" Ahhhh, yes!!!!

- Yak offering to smack Ter in the head lmaoooo good boy!

- THE OLD GAY COUPLE! ;__;

- ahhh! Yak asking if he and Dee will still be together and Dee saying yes or probably or whatever it was

- lol @ them arguing about who would turn whom over in bed if they're bedridden XD

- "Can we still have sex?" haha

- these hospital parties are always so sparse

- all of Dee's friends are wearing purple with him except Yak (nm, Yei was also wearing blue)

- this feels like a weird way to announce a scholarship to me but what do I know?

- the chanting feels unprofessional lmao I love it!

- and to no one's surprise, Dee won!

- omg! The other boxers are there too!!

- Is... Is it typical to crown scholarship winners in Thailand?

- and now Dee gets to give his thanks speech!

- this is longer than an Oscars speech XD

- oh, poor Yak! That's embarrassing but I saw that coming lol

- omg Dee's singing for Yak??? IDK if it's because I was so tired when watching this, or what, but it felt like a fever dream (in the best way possible)

- "Would you be my real boyfriend?" AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

- confetti! It's a parade!

- awww! They're ring bearers!

- Yak tearing up when Yei and Cher are exchanging rings ;__;

- legally married <3333

- ON HOLD?? What?? ...oh, phew, nm! That makes perfect sense and is totally IC for Dee, the silly boy!

- SEVERAL YEARS????? Damn. Okay, I can see why he'd think that was too long to wait for him tbh (I feel like we knew this but I forgot lol)

- "I love you, too" Wahhhhhh!!! Omg!!! I cried!!! YES!!!

- god this scene is GORGEOUS! The colours and their talk and the beach!!!! I always love a beach scene so I'm glad BLs have so many of them <333

- VANILLA? How very dare you, Yak :P

- time for sex on the beach!

- HAVE A GOOD DAY! Haha, love it!

- that's the perfect ending!!! What a lovely final image!!

- ...oh, I was waiting for a credits scene XD

- seriously, though, that last crane shot of them on the beach was truly the perfect image to end on <3333

What a lovely show this has been! It really brightened up my week, and I can't wait to watch it all over again! <333

[deal-right]

Don’t ever do this, thanks

[endlesshourglass]

I have an early morning tomorrow, so I think I’m going to head to bed! Goodnight everyone! :D

[hidiingplace]

psa: update to where i’ve been

ho boy, it’s been awhile since i last posted on here. for those who don’t know, i went on a hiatus a little while ago for a variety of reasons (that post can be found here).

so here’s a little bit more of an update:

I’m still not in the mood to write. I’ve tried to do small bits here and there (quietly) to just see if my desire to write is back but it’s not. I have no desire to push it either, so for now, i’m remaining on hiatus. 

unfortunately, a lot has happened since my last hiatus update. firstly; I got Covid. this was frightening and scary for me, as I caught it while out of my home province about about 18 hours away from my home and my doctors, in one of the provinces with the worst health care in my country. i was in really bad shape. i won’t go into details, but I caught Covid on the 6th of August and I am still recovering with steroid medications and special instructions from my doctor. I have good days and bad days, and am hoping the rest of my recovery will be okay.

other things in my life have been complicated. family drama and stress just to name a few, but otherwise things are going well for me. sassy, my horse, is at a very good place with her health and continues to get better. diego, my rabbit, is still fit as a fiddle. 

I’m doing well mentally, relatively of course. I get to hang out with some friends I haven’t seen in a veerrrryyyy long time on wednesday this week (aug 31st) and have continued to enjoy my life offline. 

It sounds weird to say, but i’m wondering if perhaps I have grown tired of the culture of tumblr. it can be a great source of creativity, but for now, i’ve grown exhausted with the platform after having been on it for as long as it’s been around (15 years). For now, i’m sure no one is really surprised at me extending my hiatus from tumblr and my hiatus from writing all together. we all need breaks from things, but I know that my writing spark will flame up again in the future so I’m not too worried about that!

I love you all very much and the offer still stands to have anyone who wishes add me on discord or even request my instagram if you want to see what brei does in the wild lol. I leave the ball mostly in other’s courts, as I don’t know what people are comfortable maintaining a friendship with me that doesn’t involve discussions on muses but rather about more personal things. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but i’m always around on discord to shoot the shit and catch up, I just don’t want to have conversations about tumblr and muses right now. It just leaves me exhausted and drained. I hope you can understand that.

anyway! I have rambled on enough for now. 

Thanks guys! I love you all and appreciate all of those who’ve remained in contact or even left a comment on my previous update posts supporting me in anyway. you guys are awesome. 

See you in the future! Brei