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stcky-rogers · 4 years ago

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perfect to me || d.w

summary: pregnancy and motherhood is a beautiful struggle dean winchester will never understand. although he notices your lack of self esteem and confidence, he does everything to reassure you that you are still as beautiful as you were the day he fell in love with you.

pairing: au!dean winchester x reader

warnings: minor language, insecurities, low self esteem, body image issues, little angst, fluff, mentions of sex - sexual innuendoes

prompts: 50. “i think you’re beautiful” and 63. “cross my heart and hope to die.”

a/n: we all deserve a dean winchester

masterlist || taglist

you sighed as you stepped on the scale once again, you squeezed your eyes shut as the numbers on the scale began to appear. you let out another sigh and finally opened your eyes. your eyes locking on the numbers and your shoulders dropped, tears brimming in your eyes as stared at them. you’d been struggling with losing weight lately and for the love of god, you couldn’t figure out why. you’d been following your diet very strictly, even going as far to avoid cheat days. you went to the gym at least twice a week, three times if you had any extra time. you just didn’t understand why you weren’t able to reach your weight goal.

stepping off the scale, you brushed away your tears with the sleeve of dean’s henley you’d been wearing. you walked over to the mirror, lifting up the shirt, you wanted to cry at the sight. you looked nothing like you had a few months ago. your stretch marks were more prominent and the lack of toned muscle made you want to sob. “let’s go, winchesters! movie’s starting in ten.” your husband shouted from the bottom of the stairs before making his way back into the kitchen. dropping the shirt, you turned away from the mirror. a small sniffle escaped you as you flicked off the bathroom light and made your way down the stairs. you could hear what sounded like a shawn mendes song. you followed the music, the sound leading you into the kitchen. you leaned against the frame the sight in front of you made beam from ear to ear.

dean, your husband, was standing at the bar with your son perched on his hip as he finished making the snacks for movie night. his body swaying to the music as he sang along softly, colt attempting to sing along with him.

“and don’t be a fool and wait on me, darlin’. i know you don’t wanna hear this, but i’m always on the move.” dean sang, colt resting his head on dean’s shoulder. dean softly rubbed colt’s back and pressed a kiss to the side of his head.

“and don’t be a fool and say that you love me ‘cause you’ll find a man who will be by your side and will be there for you.” dean helped colt sing and you chuckled at the two of them. dean turned to look at you standing in the entrance of the kitchen. grinning once his eyes locked on you, “hey, sweetheart.”

colt perked up at the endearment, another set of sparkling jade green eyes staring at you. you swore colt was a carbon copy of dean, a spitting image of his father. from the blond hair and heaps of freckles to the shining green eyes and give ‘em hell attitude. you didn’t see any of yourself in your son, just dean.

colt reached out for you, “mama!” he squealed in his father’s ear, dean jerking his head away. you pushed off of the frame and made your way over where dean was standing. you took colt into your arms and he gave you a wet kiss on your cheek. dean chuckled and mocked colt, his lips brushing against your cheek. “everything’s almost finished,” dean turned back to the fruit he'd been putting in a bowl.

reaching around him, you popped a grape in your mouth. “okay,” you muttered around the grape you’d been chewing. “you mind taking some of this stuff out into the living room?” dean asked and you nodded in response. “mama, can i help?” you smiled, “of course, pea.” setting him down, you handed him the bowl of popcorn before you grabbed dean’s pizza and the bag of candy.

you followed colt into the living room and began placing the items on the coffee table. dean entered the room a minute later with plates in one hand, a beer and juice tucked under one arm, and the bowl of fruit in the other hand. you were trying to get everything settled on the table before dean was forcing you to sit on the couch while he finished. once he finished, dean was taking a seat next to you before colt dived into his lap. he pulled you in close and the three of you were cuddled up on the couch as you cued up netflix in search of a movie.

your mind was racing a million miles a minute. you were worried about your appearance. why wasn’t it working? what were you doing wrong? when had you lost your confidence in yourself? did dean notice your body had changed? if he did, how did he feel, what would he do?

you weren’t even ten minutes into all dogs go to heaven before dean sighed, pressing pause on the remote, “alright, sweetheart. what’s going on in that head of yours?” he did his best to turn and face you. colt already asleep on dean’s chest, his fist balled up in dean’s shirt as little snores passed through his lips. glancing at dean, you shook your head before reaching for the remote. dean tutted, swiping the remote before you could get your hand on it.

quirking a brow, “come on, sweetheart, you haven’t been acting like yourself. and don’t think that i didn’t notice that you were crying when you came into the kitchen earlier. talk to me.” dean pleaded, his eyes searching yours. his features softening when he noticed the tears welling up in your eyes. you reached up and wiped away the few tears that escaped and sighed. “i just, i don’t feel,” you paused, looking for the right word. “pretty,” you whispered.

“i never had an issue with the way i looked when i was pregnant with colt, my body began to change and i was self conscious. after he was born, i was able to lose the weight and get back in shape. now, i’ve gained like ten pounds and no matter what i do, i can’t lose it. i feel so ugly.” you sobbed, your hand coming up to cover your mouth.

dean was silent beside you, he definitely hadn’t expected you to say anything along those lines. you were pretty, you were more than pretty. in his eyes you were a goddess, you radiated beauty and it wasn’t just exterior. something about you made other people feel good about themselves, you were so sweet and kind. dean’s heart shattered as he watched you break down in front of him. you were always the strong one, he’s never, ever seen you cry like this before. he’s seen a few tears escape those sparkling eyes of yours and you’d quickly wipe them away, take a deep breath, smile, and say “i’m okay.” or you’d be crying happily over something, but he’s never seen you so devastated before.

“sweetheart,” dean started, his eyes welling up with tears as he tugged you towards him. it hurt him to see you cry like this. dean pulled you into his arms, your head resting on his unoccupied shoulder. you sobbed into his shoulder, your hand clutching his shirt for dear life. his hand rubbed soothing circles on your back, blinking back his tears, dean held on to you tightly as you cried.

a few minutes later, you started to calm down. “sweetheart?” dean muttered. you sniffled in response. dean placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. “you’re not ugly. you are so far from it, i think you’re beautiful. hell, you’re the most gorgeous woman to ever walk this earth.”

you scoffed, “you’re just saying that because you have to.” dean slipped his finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him. your bloodshot eyes locking with his emerald orbs, shining with unshed tears.

he shook his head, “no, sweetheart, i mean it. it doesn’t matter to me if you’ve gained ten or a hundred pounds. you’re the love of my life, baby. i’m yours forever, unless i happen to run into daisy duke one day, then you’re on your own.” the sound that you made caused dean’s heart to skip a beat. you laughed, not a chuckle or a giggle, an actual laugh. and, god, he’d do anything to hear it again.

he sighed, “i’m sorry if i made you feel like you weren’t pretty anymore. i’m so fuckin’ sorry, sweetheart.” you shook your head, “dean, it wasn’t you. i’ve been feeling this way since the waitress was flirting with you a few weeks ago and i got self conscious, i mean she was prettier and a little younger. i thought, you found her more attractive and i don’t know.” dean gave your arm a light squeeze.

“nah, nobody even comes close to my awesome wife,” dean grinned. “i thought you were leaving me for daisy duke, if you had the chance.”

dean tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “honey,” dean paused, a soft smile on his face. “not even daisy duke can compare to you. even in baby food stained sweatpants, with your messy hair, and tear stained cheeks. you’re gorgeous even on your worst day.” you leaned over and pressed your lips to dean’s, the feeling of butterflies fluttering in your stomach as his lips moved against yours. you never understood how after what felt like a lifetime how this man could still make you feel like you were a teenager around their crush, you’ve been together since high school and have known each other even longer. his hand found its way to your neck, bringing you in closer, his thumb tracing your jaw bone.

a giggle forced the two of you to break apart. “gross,” colt lifted his head from dean’s shoulder and smiled sleepily at the two of you. “well, look who’s awake.” dean chuckled, ruffling colt’s messy hair. colt shook his head, “still sleepy?” colt nodded and reached out for you. taking him into your arms, you stood up from the couch. “you better meet me in our room in five minutes for more kisses, winchester.” dean pointed to you and you rolled your eyes.

“how can i say no to an offer like that?” you grinned before heading up the stairs.

from that night on, would make sure you knew just how beautiful you were to him. he’d wait at the bottom of the steps for you with a kiss and a hug ‘for the pretty lady.’ he’d send flowers to your job with a note describing in detail just how pretty you looked before you left in the morning. during intimate moments, he’d take his time placing kisses on every spot and cherishing the place you hated on your body and before you fell asleep every night, he’d tell how gorgeous you were and two things he loved about you before you’d finally fall asleep.

currently, you were sitting at a table, your husband by your side, his hand holding yours tightly as you watched sam, colt, and jess on the dance floor. the newlyweds were dancing with your son, his giggles could be heard from where the two of you were sitting. you looked over at dean and he’d already been staring at you, a fond smile on his features. his let go of your hand and stood up, his hand coming back into your view as he held it out. you looked up at him, his head nodding towards the dance floor.

“it’s only right if the best man and maid of honor get a dance in.” dean smirked.

graciously you accepted his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. dean pulled you to the dance floor as the song was starting to change. he moved through the crowd until he was next to sam, jess, and colt. “mama, daddy!” colt called, bouncing in sam’s arms as he caught sight of the two of you. “hey, buddy!” dean said, ruffling his hair, making him laugh. sam tried to pass colt off to you, but colt wasn’t having it, his hand gripped onto sam’s tux tightly.

you laughed and shook your head at your son. dean turned to face you, placing his hand on the small of your back and tugging you closer to him. you placed one hand in his, the other resting on his shoulder. he started swaying to the music once the song changed. dean hummed along softly to the song, his green eyes searching every inch of your face as if he was committing it to memory.

dean’s grip on you tightened as he began to sing along to the song. “and darling i will be lovin’ you ‘til we’re seventy. and, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at twenty-three.” he twirled you around and pulled you back in your back hitting his chest. he lowered his head, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder as he continued to sway you to the beat. “promise?” you could feel dean nodded against your cheek. “i’ll love you longer than that, sweetheart. cross my heart and hope to die,” you spun in his hold, your arms wrapping around his neck.

dean smiled down at you, “have i told you how beautiful you look today?” he asked. “hm,” you tilted your head as if you were thinking about it, “yes, you have, about thirty times actually.” you both chuckled, dean shrugging. “it’s the truth, whether you gain one or a hundred pounds, or you could be wearing a garbage bag, and look like you haven’t slept in days and i’d still think you were the most beautiful woman in the world.” you leaned up and pressed a kiss to dean’s lips. dean smiled against your mouth, his hands pulling you in closer.

you pulled away and peered into those enticing orbs of his and grinned. a loud squeal broke you out of your trance and you looked over, seeing sam and jess tickling colt.

“look at those two kids we raised,” dean sighed, his eyes softening at the sight of sam and colt. “yeah, i still remember when sam was just a baby.” you muttered, resting your head on dean’s shoulder. he placed a kiss on the top of your head.

you remember helping dean care for sam when john would stay late at the garage. much like john, your parents weren’t around much, you’d only see them at dinner and for breakfast. for a while the three of you only had each other. the winchesters had become your family before you married dean.

“i think we did great fuckin’ job with him.” you nodded against his shoulder, watching sam interact with colt. he’d been more excited than dean was when he found out he was going to be an uncle. “yeah, we did.” you smiled and dean rested his head against yours.

“do you ever think about having another kid?” dean bit his lip, nervous to hear your answer. you removed your head from his shoulder, your gaze falling on to his nervous stare. “how soon?” you asked and dean’s brow raised, “are you asking to sneak off for a quickie?” dean smirked and you rolled your eyes, “no, asshat,” dean chuckled, “how soon are you wanting another kid?”

dean’s eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint. “how does nine months from now sound, gorgeous?” dean twirled you once more and quickly pulled you back into his chest, he was sporting a grin when you looked up at him.

“is six months from now okay with you?” dean’s eyes widened. “wait,” he took a step back from you, giving you a once over, his eyes falling to your stomach. “you’re pregnant?” you nodded and dean gave a whoop of excitement, many heads turning in your directions. his arms wrapped around you tightly and he lifted you into the air, spinning you around, a giggle leaving you.

dean placed you back on your feet and gave you a bruising, yet loving kiss. you pulled away with a laugh. “my god, you’re amazing.” you gave him a one-shouldered shrug, “you helped me get my confidence back and feel less insecure about myself, giving you another kid is the least i could do.” you joked and dean shook his head, a smile on his face.

“you should never feel insecure about the way you look, sweetheart. you’re beautiful, inside and out.” you were about to respond to dean when you felt a tug on your dress. looking down, colt peered up at you with a toothy smile. dean scooped him into his arms, “hey, buddy. how do you feel about being a big brother?” colt shrugged and laid his head on dean’s shoulder.

you and dean laughed, “i’m sleepy.” colt yawned. “yeah, me too, pea.” you laid your head on dean’s other shoulder and sighed.

you were lucky to have someone like dean. someone who made you feel safe and secure. someone who, even on your worst day, looked at you like you hung the moon and the stars. someone who loved you for the person you were and not what you looked like. you couldn’t wait to experience the rest of your life with dean winchester, the man who cherished you deeply.

taglist:

@starkxpotts / @breezy1415 / @multifandombackpack / @deanlenaz / @thewinchesterchronicles / @tameraneanwxves /

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester oneshot #dean x reader #dean oneshot #dean x reader insert #dean winchester x reader insert #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst #dean winchester au #dean au

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combat-wombatus · 4 years ago

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I’m cb so really, no preferences, just as long as they’re hot 😎 for age range, I wouldn’t mind them being a student, villain, or hero tbh just pls not shiggy 😭 i like to do stuff in my free time like idk watch tv, I also have a slighttt addiction to shopping, and sometimes I’ll read a book. I also spend like 90% of my time playing with my dogs so idk if that’s useful information but I’m giving it to you. Picking three music people is hard cus I listen to to everything but at the moment I fw GIVĒON, jhené aiko, and zayn 😌 I listen to a lot of rnb if you couldn’t already notice but yeah, that’s my shit. Favorite color is definitely red but you probably already knew that, the other two would be white and black. I love food so I’ll eat just about anything but if I had to pick my top three, it would be tacos, sushi, and anything italian oh and my lovely chicken Caesar salad. Bruhhh literally everything and everyone annoys me but some of my biggest pet peeves are when people talk over me like bro stfu and wait your damn turn. I also hate when people chew disgustingly loud, it makes me wanna resort to violence 😃 I also cannot stand ignorant people or liars, to me they’re the worst type of people so yeah that really bugs me. I kinda come across as v intimidating in person and that’s because I am :) I love arguing and never back down from a challenge but I can also be a big clown when I feel like it. I’m pretty sarcastic but I’ll be soft with someone if I really like them but that’s like really rare. I’m a Scorpio so like, sometimes scary and intimidating but very loyal and passionate. My ideal first date would be at an amusement park cus I’m not trynna sit in the movie theater with a stranger for an hour and a half, I wanna have fun and move around. I don’t have a particular style, I can go from a typical tomboy to an absolute whore but on average, I give off skater vibes despite not being able to skate. And that’s it so thanks for doing matchups, I guess - @blazedbakugou

hehehe cb...

i match you up with...

kirishima eijiro

ok so GUYS kiri would be able to handle your sarcasm x100000, don’t even question it. his fave color is red too :p and he’d be the best person to go shopping with (or worst depending on how you look at it)...every time you try something on, he’d tell you how beautiful you looked and you’d be tempted to buy it >.< so i guess your wallet’s gonna have to get ready cause...yeah you’re not leaving without like 5 new outfits okay

a smol drabble

“I’m dizzy.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten that much before we went on that ride?”

“Shut up.”

“I mean I get it, tacos are delicious, but...”

“Spit it out.”

“Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea eating 5 of them before we went on a roller coaster?” He voiced tentatively.

“Are you calling me dumb?”

“No! No, not at all!” He waved his hands around nervously. “Just...there’s a trash can there, if you need it?” He pointed towards a steel bin on the side of the walkway.

“Why would I need a-” You quickly swallowed your next words as a new wave of nausea overtook you. Scurrying over to the receptacle, you bent over and retched.

“Fuck.”

“Here,” he handed you a tissue. Begrudgingly, you took it and wiped your mouth.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Of course!” He gave you a bright thumbs-up. “Anytime!”

“Why the fuck are you always so cheerful?”

He grinned at you, his sharp teeth contrasting with the chipper expression on his face. “It’s easier to be happy. Being sad all the time just makes you sadder. And when I’m happy, I make others happy, which makes me happy!”

“You’re a fucking weirdo.”

“I guess I am. Do you not want to go out with me anymore?” He looked slightly deflated.

You scoffed. “Why the fuck would you ask me that? Of course I’m still gonna go out with you, you dummy.”

“Great!”

a lil moodboard

fire engine red: kirishima eijiro

#coco's 100 followers celebration #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha drabbles #kirishima eijiro #kirishima #eijiro kirishima #kirishima drabbles #kirishima imagines #cb <3 #matchups #bnha matchups

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edourado · 5 years ago

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Together, ch iv

Here’s chapter four, because I need something light and fluffy, to help me stomach the world. I’m sad, I’m angry, sick to my stomach, I am legit losing faith in humanity, I burst out in tears at any given moment. And I don’t want to lose my mind, so here’s me coping.

This is nothing, its a silly piece of fluffy fanfiction, but it’s for George Floyd, for Ahmaud Arbery, for João Pedro, a 14 year old black boy from Rio who was shot by police while playing inside his home, for every black individual who died because they were black, for their families, for the protesters. This is nothing, nothing, nothing, but it has a little of my heart in it, so it’s for them.

I hope it makes you smile.

-------

It wasn’t long until Frank got cabin fever.

Staying inside all day was not at all like him. How long had he been spending most of his days outside, moving, doing something, or just looking at the people walking around the street?

To Karen’s amusement - and delight - he cleaned the entire apartment, top to bottom, and was even able to remove the touch stains on the light switches. He did something to the fridge, and by the time he was done, the shelves and the door were gleaming as if had just arrived from the store, brand new.

But the apartment was not big enough to keep him entertained for long, so he started ordering things online to improve on little stuff, like the shelves she needed for her shoes, since she had needed to make room for his, or these fancy magnets to install on bottom of the doors, so they would stop banging shut whenever it was a little windy. He spent a whole afternoon on the phone with David Lieberman, deciding on the best cameras to install around the place.

Reading only took him so far. He went through four books before he found it hard to keep still, and it was even worse with Netflix.

Then, one day, the masks they bought from the neighbor from two floors down were ready, and she texted to let them know she had left them at their door.

“I thought they’d be much worse”, Karen said, after they wired the neighbor the money and collected the neatly packed masks. “These are good, look!”

She put one on and they were, indeed, much better than they both had expected. Not fancy or in any way tech advanced, but a simple cloth mask that covered mouth and nose without leaving gaps. All of them black.

“I think I’ll order more”, Karen mused, while Frank put one on. As far as masks go, this was not the worst he had ever worn, not by a long shot.

That night, Frank lied awake in bed, his finger twitching, unable to sleep. They had cooked a big dinner together, looking for something to do to spend the time and use the things they had on the pantry, trying to avoid spoiling food.

Karen had also stayed awake for longer than usual, but now she breathed slowly, sleeping by his side, and Frank had given up keeping his eyes closed, and now stared at the ceiling.

After what seemed like forever, he looked at the window and noticed that the sky was starting to become a tad lighter. When he checked his phone, it told him it was 4:34 in the morning. With a glance at Karen, he got up, careful not to wake her.

After silently dressing, Frank picked up his phone from the bedside table and carried his shoes to the living room, stopping to pick up one of the masks they had washed before starting on dinner. The radiator had dried them all completely, leaving them warm and crisp feeling.

Closing the apartment door silently behind him, he locked it and then moved quickly down the stairs.

He couldn’t take a proper breath in, with the mask covering his mouth and nose, but the fresh air that made it through his lungs when he inhaled deeply were enough to make him feel better already. Looking at the empty street before him, Frank set off for the first jog he had in years.

Ever since he came back from his last tour, he favored other ways of exercising. Jogging was neither possible nor efficient after the whole mess, but it felt good, it felt natural, to run without hurry and from nobody, not chasing anybody. Run for the sake of running.

He was on a break by the river, almost an hour later, when his phone pinged.

“Ok”, said Karen’s text, in reply to the one he had sent her before he left the apartment, letting her know he was off for a run. “Have fun”, and then, almost as an afterthought, “Be careful. Don’t touch anything and don’t take off your mask.”

“Yes, ma’am”, he replied.

Frank ran for a good while. Not counting the time, or the miles, or his heartbeat, he just ran, took breaks, walked and then ran some more, looking as the morning made the city brighter, noticing how strange it the streets looked, so empty, even this early. He ran and he wished he could take off his mask, but he didn’t, happy that at least he was able to breathe some fresh air and not see any walls around him, for a change.

The sun was up when he turned to make his way back, at 7:15.

There was a bakery one corner away from home, and the smell of fresh bread lured him in. A man in uniform, a mask and gloves told him they just took a fresh batch out of the oven, and Frank bought a few, along with cheese and two cups of coffee (which they had at the apartment, but he figured these people were risking themselves to provide food for the neighborhood and try and keep their business alive, so what��s two cups of extra coffee?)

“Thank you so much for your support” said the guy, handing him the bag and the cup holder through a window.

“Thank you”, Frank replied, happy for this little slice of normal. “You guys open tomorrow?”

“From seven to seven.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Name’s Frank.”

“I’m Ray. See you, Frank. Have a good day.”

He walked the rest of the way, and had to balance his purchases in one hand while taking the key from his shoe, towing said shoes off and unlocking the door, walking in in his socks.”

“Frank?” Karen called from the bedroom.

“I’m here” he called back, starting the new strange process of cleaning the things he brought home with him.

After putting the warm bread on the designated bread basket and disposing of the paper bag, he transferred the cheese to a clean container and the coffee to the coffee pot, where Karen had not yet pushed the button to brew.

After his shower, he walked to the bedroom, feeling much, much better than he felt before getting up this morning.

Karen was still in bed, phone in hand, and smiled at him when he walked in.

“Hi”, she greeted, and he walked to her. “Enjoy your run?”

“Hmm”, was his answer, lying down half on top of her, kissing her gently, closing his eyes when her hands caressed his hair. “I brought breakfast.”

“I can smell it”, she said, softly. “That show we wanted to watch is available on Netflix. Wanna eat on the couch and watch it with me?”

He made them egg sandwiches and brought it to the couch while she cued the new show on TV, and when he settled down to watch it, he didn’t feel restless or that itch that made him want to get up every five seconds.

What a difference, a run made.

.:.

He came back to the apartment on the fourth day with croissants and the usual coffee, sweating profusely, since he had not made any stops this time, nor did he walk, and the jog was just straight up sprinting.

“Kare?” he called from the kitchen.

“I’m here!” she called back, and he saw her hand waving at him through the window. She was in the fire escape.

He had to deal with the sanitizing of the shopping and then a shower, so it was a few minutes before he walked to the living room window.

Before he got to the ledge, she popped her head inside and smiled at him.

“I got you something.”

When Frank ducked to climb out to the narrow fire escape, he saw what she had gotten: a hammock.

Cream colored, she had tied it on the iron bars above head, it hung a good few inches above the floor. She had placed two throw pillows in it, plus a heavy blanket.

“You’ve been feeling so cooped up, I thought this would maybe help a little.

Turning to her, Frank smiled and moved to kiss her.

“You didn’t have to do that”, he said, a hand caressing her hair.

“I wanted to. I’m only sorry it took so long to arrive, I ordered it almost a month ago.”

Frank looked at the hammock, swaying lightly in the wind, and thought that this small act, this simple purchase for his benefit made him a little more sure that she meant it, when she said she loved him.

It was silly, he knew that, but there still was a little part of him that expected her to wake up one day and realize that all she thought she felt for him was nothing but the thrill of the danger, the forbidden, the very ill advised act of rebellion, or even misinterpreted feelings of concern and worry and gratitude.

The fact that she didn’t run away from him after they slept together for the first time, or asked him to stay after the second third fourth and so on, asked him to move in, gave him a key, made room for his things, made room for him, bought him a hammock. It all told him that yeah, she was serious about that love.

“Maybe we can have breakfast here?” he suggested, and she beamed, nodding.

“So you like it?”

“I do”, he said against her mouth. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Settle in, I’ll get the food.”

They ate the croissants and drank the coffee while sharing the hammock, after adjusting the height a little bit.

“This is so good”, she said around a mouthful of warm croissant, taking a sip of coffee, looking out at the street below them.

Frank watched as the morning light caught in her hair, how it made her eyes shine just a tad bluer, accentuated the few freckles she had on her nose.

“Yeah, it is”, he agreed, squeezing her foot under the blanket, thankful that, if he had to be stuck inside, at least it was with her.

#I feel stupid posting this #I feel powerless and guilty #but it's relief #kastle #kastle ff #kastle fluff #frank castle #karen page #the punisher #daredevil

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eroticcannibal · 5 years ago

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Risu, I hate my dormmate so fucking much. She’s only washed her sheets once sense the school year started, and she leaves a pile of un-rinsed take out containers by the door. I don’t want to be an asshole because depression is a bitch, but the room REEKS. How the FUCK do I tell her to clean her shit up.

Ok that’s rough.

Like obviously you can just be like “hey, we live together, you can’t live like this, it’s not fair on me” and in an ideal world communicating fixes everything but idk what your dormmate is like.

if it IS a depression thing, perhaps between you you can come up with some strategies to make things easier on her (not that it’s your responsibility but sometimes u gotta if u dont wanna live in a shithole). Like, off the top of my head, chore schedules can be helpful to get you off your ass. Keep it small tho, like 1 thing a day. changing sheets is HARD so like when I’m really struggling I’ll lay a big towel or something on my bed and use a blanket, I’ll have to wash sheets eventually but it gives me a bit of time where I don’t have to deal with putting bedding back on cus i can just wash the towel and blanket instead, or swap them out for clean ones. Make it a rule that she has to take out rubbish when she leaves the house (put a big sign on the door), and make sure she uses a bin so she doesn’t have to go hunting for rubbish. Honestly best thing I ever did was put rubbish bins in every room of the house (some bigger rooms have more than one). Like theres ways to be depression lazy and still keep shit clean. If she hoards cups she can go bulk buy takeout cups and then just chuck them out if she cant be arsed to rinse them. (I actually know a lot of disabled people who exclusively use disposable stuff cus it just makes life easier. But u do gotta empty the bin)

Worst comes to worst get some febreeze and open a window???

And I guess if u make the effort and she doesn’t u just gotta get all passive-aggressive????

idk I aint really dealt with roommates, I had an ex who wouldn’t clean so I just kicked him out.

#Anonymous

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deakydeaky · 6 years ago

Note

Can i request some head canons for joe finding out you are pregnant and how he reacts and is with you and how he helps you through the birth and stuff cus i feel this would be very cute.

(A/N; We didn’t make them married or anything but you’ll find out that out soon and we also got super into it so we hope it’s liked! Thank you for the request, they are always welcomed! xx)

Y/F/N= you friends name

Y/B/N= your baby’s name

Finding out/Telling;

You hadn’t been feeling yourself since Joe left from coming home for a little

He as so busy and having him back, even though it was less than a month, felt great

You thought you were just off from having him around and then him leaving

One night you were at your friends place, and they said they wanted a baby and had been trying

She wanted to take a test but was nervous so you said you’d do it with her, and you didn’t really expect anything

When the faded two lines came in you were both surprised. One like was very clear but the more you looked it looked like a second one was there. They were cheap tests and she went out and got actual ones. You told her there was no way but still took the test as a way to prove her wrong. A strong pink plus sign came out

“Holy shit.” You laughed.” I’m gonna be a mom?” You questioned. “You’re gonna be a mom!” You both celebrated that night. You talked about baby names, ways to tell Joe, and the baby shower. Plus marriage. You didn’t know how Joe felt about kids. When you two first started dating he had been out a few times because he just filmed BoRhap and everything for it was picking up

You waited until he was planned home, each wasn’t for a week and a half. It was enough time to think about how to tell him

When he came home he brought the boys too, which you didn’t expect. You made light of it, because you’d had known them very well. It was hard when they were all drinking and you explained you weren’t drinking because you weren’t feeling up to it. None of them questioned it but Lucy. She took you to another room so casually

“Are you pregnant?” She questioned in her soft voice

“That obvious?” She gasped and hugged you

“Not at all but your boobs look super big and you always have a drink with us.” You both talked a little about it and were very excited. When everyone left and you and Joe were in bed you were so tired. It had been a long night because everyone was around and wanted to spend human time together

Joe played with your hair as his other arm was around you. You wanted so badly just to tell him and the thought gave you chills

“Joe?”

“Yeah love?” He says to you as your voice was very soft and came out a whisper. His arm that you were laying on trees his hand and you put yours over it, then played it on your stomach

“I’m pregnant.” Joe sat up with his band still on your stomach and you smiled opening your eyes

“Are you- are you serious?”

“I was gonna tell you when I found out but you were away.” He grabbed his face with your hand and kissed you

“Wait seriously?”

“Yes! I’m pregnant!” He looked like he could cry

“Hello pregnant, I’m dad.” You pushed him away as you both laughed

You told the others two days later when you invited them for breakfast. You and Joe talked about telling them and your families and then the world. Your families both lived kind of far and you two wanted the others to know first

“This is very good love.” Ben said as he ate

“I’m glad you like it.” You smiled at Ben as you looked at Joe

“You want me to go?” Joe asked and you shrugged

“They were your friends first.” They all looked at each other

“What?” Lucy asked and you blushed smiling very wide

“So um, during all the free time I had Y/N and I-“ You hit Joe’s chest and shook your head.” I’m bad at this. You go.” You rolled your eyes

“I’m pregnant.” They all smiled and congratulated you. You thanked them and told them about how you found out and what the names might be

When you told everyone you were about four months pregnant and it was time for the Golden Globes. Joe brought you along and that’s when it all came out. Also am Insta stating that a baby would be born at the end of July

The pregnancy/The scare;

It was hard between award shows and your job to always be together but whenever Joe could be he was there

He was there for whatever you needed

He ran your bath, got you what you wanted to eat, helped you around

The first few weeks weren’t the worst of help seeing your hormones were... in his favor

It got worse as it continued. Morning sickness, mood swings, cravings, and pain. Joe held back your hair, got you your craving, dealt with your moods and made you very comfortable

You two picked out baby names, thought of ways to design the baby room, and kind of got into the marriage talk

He cuddled with you, helped you out on clothes/shoes, and showed you off to everyone

“Can I get you anything?”

“Joe baby, I’m fine.” You told him as you were on your bed with pillows stacked behind you.” I have my books, movies in tv, and I’ll probably sleep all day. Y/F/N will be here soon, go.”

“I love you.” “I love you too.” You kissed him a few times before he had to go

Joe was also the type that if you needed space, he gave it to you

He reminded you all the time how good you looked

He made sure the mother of his child was taken care of

And he never left your side unless you asked

“Joe.” You said as you woke up at night. “What’s wrong?” He asked sitting up. “I don’t know, somethings wrong. Joe it hurts.” You grabbed a fish full of his shirt before he called an ambulance

He wasn’t aloud to see you but he said everyone at his side. They tried their best to calm him down. “They’ll be okay.” Rami told him holding onto Joe’s hand. “There was blood Rami, I didn’t even know what to do.” Lucy sat on the other side of him. “She’s a fighter Joe. They’ll be fine.” All they could do was wait until the doctor came out. They were all shaking at this point. “She and the baby are okay.” They all sighed with relief.” Little bit of a scare I know but she will still need to be on bed rest for the next couple of weeks. You can all see her now.” “Thank you doctor.” Joe rushed to the room as the others took their time, wanting to give you two time alone

“Hey baby.” Joe said as he came in. He came over and kissed you with his hand on your cheek.” You two gave me a scare.” You laughed as Joe sat on the bed. “I told him not to tell us the sex, do you still want to wait?” You asked him holding his hand. “Yeah, if you still want to.” You smiled at him. “I do.” He kissed you again as the others walked in. “Don’t put her in labor there Joe.” Ben said to you both

You spent the next six weeks laying in bed, taking ten minute walks or a fifteen minute bath. It was scary to think of but Joe was even more by your side than before, if that was even possible

He made sure your pain was his pain. He stayed in bed with you, got you what you needed, and most importantly; made sure you weren’t bored

“Joey I’m not gonna go into labor the one time you go to the store.” “But if it were to happen! It would happened TO US!”

Labor;

It happened when you were at home and you felt a little bit of pain. Then it started happening a couple of minutes apart

You got got into the shower, Joe at the store, you felt like you pissed yourself for some reason. You got out and got dressed. You waited for Joe to come home ready to go to the hospital. “Joey!” You yelled as he was in the kitchen putting everything away.” I’m think I’m going into labor.” You heard a drop of cans running into everything else in the kitchen. “Okay! Showtime! Get into the car, I’ll get the bag. Twenty three minutes until the hospital!”

The waited wasn’t too bad, the pain was. It hurt so bad and it wasn’t even the birth

Everyone was there, making it a little embarrassing for when the birth did happen. Brian May and Roger Taylor seeing you all sweaty after child labor? No thank you

“The doctors say anything yet?” Lucy asked you. “No, I’m only seven inches so there is still time to go.” Ben whined. “We’ve been here for hours.” Gwilym shook his head. “He’s hungry, ignore him.” You were so tired and done already. “Well I’m about to push a baby out of my vagina, so I would stop complaining. Got out, eat. No baby will be here in the next hour or two.”

After three hours it was finally time and you were so excited. Up until you got into it. It hurt like a bitch. You wanted to cry and scream and you did a little of both. Joe hold your hand as you pushed. It hurt so bad you wanted to give up. The pain kept you awake even though you were so tired

“Only a few more pushes.” Sweat dripped from your forehead as you pushed and you could hear the crying a little, and it was out. “You did it.” Joe kissed your forehead.” You did so well.” The nurses took the baby away to clean it. “It’s a girl.” You smiled at Joe. “We have a baby girl.”

Around another hour the others came in and saw the baby. Each one of them holding it, introducing themsevles. “Does she have a name yet?” Lucy asked looking over Brian’s arms to watch the baby. “Y/B/N.” They all awwed. “It’s beautiful.” Roger said pushing the hair out of your face.” You did good love. You two make a cute kid.” “Thank you.” You and Joe told him. “That’s all Y/N mate.” Ben told Roger and Joe hit his arm. “It’s true.”

Bonus! Baby’s first Christmas;

You all hung out a few days before Christmas before everyone had to be with their families

You were all kind of calm and handed out presents, had a little to drink, ate some food

“She’s spoiled.” You told Joe as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. You leaned against his chest with your drink close to you. Joe looked at his uncles and aunt helping her open their presents. “She’s the luckiest girl.” He kissed your cheek.” Wanna tell them now or on New Years?” You turned your face. “Let’s go wait a little.” You both walked over to your daughter and sat next to her on Gwilym’s lap. “What do we have here?” You asked looking at the ring Roger and Brian got her together.” You guys it’s beautiful!” “And we can have it resized at anytime.” You wanted to cry. “Thank you guys.”

“Joe that’s not fair I wasn’t looking.” You told him after he had taken a picture of you and Rami on the couch with the baby. “You look perfect dear.” He kissed you quickly. The rest of the night you all spent taking pictures together, doing your best to get as many as possible for the years to come

At the end of the night when everything was relaxed and a Christmas movie was on you two thought you should tell the others

“Hey guys, before the movie starts just thought you should know we’re getting married.” Their eyes all went wide. “Congratulations!” After that you were all kind of chilling and watching the movie

“I’m Y/B/N godfather right?” Ben asked started a little fight. “No I am.”

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rpausandwhatifs · 5 years ago

Text

There’s This Guy|| Elliot Drabble

@danhowell-rp

@felixpierp

@shanedawson-rp

Elliot had been fighting it for so long, that it was causing him to lose sleep. He didn’t want to bring it up in family therapy because maybe he could learn how to work through his problems without a trained mental health professional in the room. It wasn’t the best decision, but he had walked himself out of his room and down the stairs. Making sure on the way down that the girl was still outside.

Persi had been doing this futile assignment her therapist gave to her to read a book about personality disorders and anxiety to help her answer her questions and move along in her sessions to a point where she wouldn’t need to take them. They were visiting in London with Bryony, but the three parents had stepped out for a little while and trusted that the two were old enough to look after themselves. A beautiful day, she had her hair out of her ponytail, allowing herself to relax in order to get settled into the book. Criss-cross applesauced under the tree, she viewed the pages and started to fill her head with the words, her long orange locks blowing in the wind. It was a rare and gentle moment for her.

Elliot watches from the sliding door and begins to think about what he’s about to do. He’s basically giving her (and Persephone) cannon fodder, and he has a hard enough time as it is trying to figure out all of this out. Who knows? It might even be a passing thing but he wanted to test it on someone other than his parents, who he felt like would be uncomfortable at best, and probably disgusted worst-case scenario. Plus, Persi is gay(?), right? It won’t feel weird if he is, but it might be the person; you can’t help who you love, right?

The boy was so tangled in his thoughts that his saunter through the grass made him trip on his own awkward feet, exclaiming before tumbling in front of her. He sighed and stared at the sky a little longer on his back, his entire train of thought derailed.

Look, Elliot! It’s your cousin Harlan!

Baby cousin! Gimme a hug!

...

H-heyy Harlan...coming to babysit?

Yeah, but first I gotta finish my homework, your parents aren’t leaving for a little while...c’mere I’m not a stranger gimme a hug, cuz!

...

Ugh! Your sister snuck out again *sighs*...

*shrugs* You can call Papa and Otosan, and then come back, we can play a game- Oooo! Dibs on the good controller!

Du är så lat! Just go upstairs and get the other on.

The-then I’ll lose...

Then wrestle me for it! Show me how strong you are!

Y-You’re so big! I hate wrestling...

Why do you hate wrestling?

Because Persi is too big and she hurts my arm...

Do you like..wrestle with other boys?

Ew, no...why would I do that?

Cus sometimes boys wrestle! I wrestle with Reiner and stuff.

Again. Not me. Also huge. And ew.

Okej! Jag fattar!..And stop saying “ew.”

Stop talking other than English.

Make me...*looks at him, raises brows* Jag slår vad om att du inte kommer

Ha-harlan..

Tell me why it’s gross to wrestle boys.

...

“Ellie,” Persi said, “Yo, why are you being weird?...Helllooo!”

Elliot snapped out of it and turned his head to look at his sister, “Huh?”

“The fuck?!”

“Papa told us not to curse,” he replied, turning his head toward her.

“I don’t care. You came out here, ate shit on my patch of grass, then stared at the clouds...*sighs* What do you want?”

“I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“*scoffs* Oh that’s easy! You were born. Next question.”

“Noo! Persi...I-I-I’m...I think I’m a bigot.”

“Bigot? Do you even know what that word means?”

“I don’t like people...right?”

“No, dumbass-”

“I’m serious, Persi! Stop! I think I have a problem with sombeody...”

“Oh! Is someone picking on you?” she finally caught on, straightening and narrowing her eyes.

“Well...It’s hard to explain...”

“Is it a teacher? Another kid at school?..School bus?” she asked sitting up, feeling her chest drop that someone might be bullying her baby brother.

“He’s older than you...” he says sheephisly.

“Ew! Did you say something to Dad or Dan?”

“N-No...” he feels like the world is closing in on him.

“Some fucking perv is diddling you and I have to say something. Ellie this is serious shit, how long has this been going on? Do you know where he lives?”

“N-No! I-I-It’s something wrong with me...” he timidly tries to explain, finally sitting up and leaning over and points to his chest, urging his sister to keep her voice down.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. What he’s doing is wrong and that fucko is about to go to jail!” Persi exclaimed, shutting her book and starting to stand up when Elliot grabbed her arm in attempt to get her to sit back down, then jerking away from him, “NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY BABY BROTHER! Come on, we’re telling Dad.”

“STOP!” he yelled, his voice cracked, “It’s not like that! I don’t think I like...act like a normal boy, or I don’t think I like boys like Harlan or if I’m supposed to grow up like...I WANNA WRESTLE WITH HIM AND I DON’T KNOW HOW!”

“...W-...Is Harlan diddling you?” Persi whipped around to face her brother, the disgust on her face, “Wait, what? I dunno what you’re trying to say...Is he making you uncomfortable or touching you in the no-no zone?”

“N-No, no! Nothing like that! I just...I guess...can you like teach me how to wrestle with Harlan?”

Persi was completely perplexed by her brother's request, "Huh? What? Why? And why Harlan specifically?"

"Well if you were here that one time he was babysitting me he wanted to wrestle and I said ew and he told me it was bad to say ew to wrestling with other boys."

"Wait, like how him and Reiner wrestle? Like how boys just kinda roughhouse? Why do you say ew? That's weird."

"'Cus it's the first thing I say when he says it, but it's not how I felt. I dunno why I said it, and that's why I said that something is wrong with me and one of my friends called me a bigot because I don't like touching boys, but I like touching boys, I just don't know how."

Persi sat back down slowly and attempted to digest what her brother was explaining. She watched him try to use as much as his sixth grade vocabulary can muster. It made sense enough that his friends weren't helping him much, but the whole thing with Harlan wasn't clicking for her. Her eyes looked to the sky as she pushed her hair back and sighed, "You...Do you think you're not tough enough?" she asked.

"That's, like, part of it, but my friends don't wrestle, and I don't hang out with like big boys like Reiner or Harlan."

"So you want to learn how to wrestle because you want to wrestle with Harlan to be tougher?" she asked carefully.

"Kinda. I wanna learn how to wrestle so that I can only wrestle with Harlan," he admits with confidence.

"So the word you were looking for is probably homophobe. Just thought I let you know. However, if I think you're saying what I think you're saying then I really think you need to talk to Dad or Dan."

"I don't think they would understand-OWwwwwah!"

"Fucking idiot! Our parents are gay grown up boys! Gay means you like boys!" she bursted, extending a leg out to kick his, "You're not a bigot, though, and you're not a homophobe. Thank God."

"So you're calling me gay?" he asked, sitting up on his elbows.

"No. I'm calling the feeling you have towards Harlan gay...do you like girls?" she corrected him then asked swiftly as to not cause any awkward tension.

"I mean yeah, who doesn't?"

"Bigots and gay boys."

"So I'm a bigot," he nods and offers his answer, causing the girl to throw her foot down into his chest and knocking him back, "OWwwah! Get your dirty foot off me! This is my Versace shirt Otosan bought me!"

"How dumb are you?" she asked with a bite.

"Dumb enough to lay in the grass and think your foot is dirtier than the actual dirt I'm sitting in."

"Maybe you are a bigot," she scoffed, but trying not to be too mean on her innocent sibling.

"Seriously, Persi! What do I do?" Elliot whined, "Tell meeee!.."

"Alright, alright! Stop crying...Well. Do you wanna wrestle for real or do you wanna like they do on TV?" she asked.

"There's a difference?"

"Oh my god- yes! Absolutely!" she exclaimed.

"What's the difference? D-Don't show me!.."

"Uh, Reiner did competition wrestling for a while...And that's like sumo where you're trying to make him tap out or go outside the circle. The one on TV, which is fake, by the way, is a lot more slamming and jump moves and got some interesting drama," she said with a smile.

"Who's cuter?" Elliot asked innocently.

"What's your thing? Like why do you wanna wrestle Harlan?"

"He's..big..?"

"Not enough! I like Reiner and he's big. Do you like being held or do you like bonding with him or something like that? You understand that these are contact sports, right?" she folded her arms.

"Oh...ew."

"Why ew?"

"Because my friends and I don't play contact sports."

"Well then you're just gonna have to be different. Teach them and see if they like it."

"Again, I only wanna do it with Harlan."

"Stop dancing around why you like Harlan so much and just tell me."

"Uhh...cus..I-I'm not supposed to. He's our cousin. You can't have a crush on family."

"He's not our family technically...not blood anyway."

"What?"

"That's why I'm not completely grossed out. See, you're old enough now so I can tell you."

"What? That I'm adopted?"

"Harlan is, actually..."

"Wait...really?"

"Well, technically. Harlan has a mommy, but she couldn't take care of him, so Uncle Felix and Uncle Shane adopted him."

"Whoaa...but is it still wrong?"

"Yes, because he's too old. He's got 10 years on you, easily."

"Well can I still tell him how I feel?"

"Absolutely! He’ll still probably answer more of your questions, too."

Elliot was finally able to relax, pushing his hair back from his forehead and let it flop back down. Persi started to pick up her book and opened it to try and find where she left off. He watched her, sucking his teeth, causing her to flip the book and inhale sharply, widening her eyes at him. "Teach me to wrestle!" he whined, "And stop hurting my arm! C'mon! We fly back to the states tomorrow and I wanna try it with him."

"Ugh! Fine!" Persi said, moving her book and getting on her knees, "Get up, just like this."

Elliot moves as his sister puts her hair in a ponytail, "Alright! What do I do?" he asks, taking a heavy huff to prepare himself.

"Mentally prepare yourself to be grabbed...Physics dictates that your lower torso is the center of gravity so he's gonna grab your torso to get you off your feet and knock you on your ass."

"Ew-OWwwaah!" he exclaimed at Persi slamming her palm into his forehead, followed by her bonking him on the top.

"Stop. Saying. Ew. Open your knees and brace yourself," Persi said.

"H-How else do I prepare?" he asked, his shoulders still wound up. She puts her hands on his shoulders, trying to roll them.

"You've gotta loosen up. You can think clearer if your muscles aren't tense...What did it for you? With Harlan?" she asked, showing him to shake out his nerves.

"Arms...I-wow!...I like-yeah- I like his arms,” Elliot surprised himself with how automatic the response flew from his lips, then realizing how his heart felt to say it.

“That’s normal. And yeah he’s got nice arms, makes his hugs feel like you can trust him,” Persi said.

“When do you not trust a hug?” Elliot asked with a raised eyebrow.

“If you’ve been heartbroken, you’re me, or their energy is wayy off. Now, when I approach you I’ll try and go easy but I want you to try push back and pin me to the ground,” Persi explained, making sure to lock eyes with her brother, and get herself in position to tackle him with a small expectation he’d go down like he always does, “Ready? It’s gonna happen fast.” She recieves a nod, but just before he pushes her shoulders a little.

“Hey..uhh Persi?” he asked nervously.

“Hm? What?” she asked, popping her head up.

“I’d trust a hug from you, Persephone, too! Also, uh, thanks for not being whole jerk...” he admitted with a little smile.

Persephone looked at the boy and grimaced, but Persi felt like she might well up with tears because she really didn’t think she was a good sister, let alone he could trust with Persephone and everything, but she figures they should since their circumstances are unique.

[One Week Later]

“So...how was England?” Harlan asked, sitting on the couch, leaning back and flipping through something to watch as he settled into the easiest $200 he’s ever made. Persi had to go to work for the night and since her parents didn’t know when she’d be back (or if she was coming back that night), Harlan could use the down time and the money for when he went back to school after summer break.

“It was cool as usual, my mom, dad, and Otosan went out more by themselves so Persi and I got to hang out,” he started, watching the other’s sweatshirt-clad arms rest by his head, while he chose something to watch, settling by adjusting his hips into the couch. For the first time, Elliot was sweating, and not because it was too hot or because he rarely got in trouble, but because of the boy’s dark brown hair lazily gelled on top into a neat quiff, the soft curve of his body molded into the couch, making his sweatshirt ride up a little, “Uhh...how’s college?”

“UHm...I’m really busy. Was doing a lot of work and then I had a few projects. I like the library up there. The events are pretty fun. I was a little surprised freshman year but they don’t..do much for sophomores,” he said, looking at him with a sigh then furrowed his brows when he saw Elliot, “You okay? You feeling alright?”

“I think I like boys...” Elliot says, not realizing how quickly he jumped into the topic, “But I-I’m new a-and...Persi said for me to ask you for some advice.”

Harlan tried to understand what he was saying and sat up a little more, “Elliot...you know I’m too old for you, right?...I didn’t mean to make you feel nervous or uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I know...but uhh..you made me realize it, so in a way you’re responsible for making me like this,” Elliot started, getting a little more comfortable and uncrossing his arms, slinking into the couch with him.

“Oh, am I really?..What’d I do?” Harlan chuckled lightly, tilting his head up and shaking his head a little in disbelief.

“I learned how to wrestle because I wanted to wrestle with you. Also, I sorta learned how homophobic it was to say ew all the time.”

“Ahh...so your sister is a good influence on you...” he said with a nod, smiling still to keep from spilling over with a giggle, he wiped his mouth and scratched his little hairs growing along his jawline just clustered enough to say he was trying to grow a beard.

“Yeah well, sometimes she’s good. I just wish sometimes was a little more often, but she’s still my sister and I love’r!” Elliot says pridefully, then backing up a little when Harlan looks at him, “Uhh..uhm yeah, she said this means I’m starting to go through puberty, but I gotta ask my dads about it.”

“Well I’ll tell you right now, it sucks, like pojke gör det jävla suger...enjoy being young, Elliot. Revel in that innocence for as long as you can...but if I heard you correctly, you said you wanted to wrestle me?” Harlan caught him before he wavered off and downplayed his gesture.

“Uhh y-yeah, but I just wanted to learn because I like how...uhh..strong you are~ and uhh it feels really nice to get hugs from you,” Elliot continued, not expecting him to pick up on it, his sweat getting a little worse as he struggled to look the boy in the eye that was staring him down.

“Bluush! Är du inte en söt?~..There’s nothing good on anyway..so get up, lemme see what you got! I’ll go easy on you as long as you’re not weird about it, okay?” Harlan mentioned as he sat up, slapping the boy’s knee as he got up.

“Uhh I’ll-I’ll try..maybe we should have a code word for if it’s too much?” Elliot asked, slowly getting up as he felt like he was about to throw up, but he could practically imagine living in the boy’s arms. Harlan rolling his sleeves up and standing over him just caused his knees to weaken just a little more. He didn’t remember him being this big, or brawny, or smelling so good.

“HOw aboouutt...hm..what’s your favourite colour?” he asked, taking in the boy’s obvious hesitation at approaching him.

“Black,” he answered quickly.

Harlan rolled his eyes at his selection and shook his head, then asking again, “What’s your second favourite colour?”

“Why doesn’t black work?” he quickly asked back.

“Too many hard consonants. If you can’t breathe, you can’t get your lips together to create blah noise and the ack is just gonna sound like you straining against me. Pick another colour,” he quickly explained as he tried to fashion a ring out of some pillows and throws.

“Oh. Orange then. I like how it sounds! OORRaannnggggEEE....”Elliot added, which made Harlan giggle and nod, shuffling over towards the circle in the middle of the room, “Oh hey can you just talk to me about how this whole puberty thing goes? I really don’t feel all that jazzed about asking my parents..I’m their baby and all..”

“Maybe later, cus I wanna talk to them first to make sure it’s okay. Especially since you have this little crush on me, men jag berättar inte för dem om det...” Harlan said shaking out his limbs and getting on his knees while he rolled his neck, “That’ll be just between us boys.”

Elliot got a wave of excitement and anxiety, a little frustrated that he spoke in Swedish over whatever the last part of the sentence was, but he thinks he’s not gonna tell his parents. It made him wonder, but it also made him worry. Was he just not going to tell them right away? Was Persi onto something about Harlan being a perv? His head was swirling and he was both scared and confused, which Persi told him he needed to clear his head before he engaged in a fight or any sort of activity like this. “Yeah..uhh yeah..sure..” He awkwardly gets on his knees and stares at Harlan before thinking of something that might calm him down, “H-Hey, Harlan?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Uhh before we start..c-c..would it be too much to ask for a hug?” he asked, shy and timid and feeling the full weight of his question despite what he’d just explained.

“Sure. Anytime. Never saw harm in a hug,” he says brightly and pulls his forearms in as he embraces him. It was so surreal to think that Elliot looked to him as such an influence. Elliot squeezed against the boy and sighed a huge deep sigh, allowing his body to relax into his. Harlan rubbed his back a little, feeling him relax, giving him a soft kiss on the top of his head before giving him a playful shove, “Alright, now come on, cuz! Ge mig allt du har!“

#phan #persephone grace #elliot james #harlan kjellberg-yaw

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princeleyjeans · 5 years ago

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Fandom talk: Trikey is not a fetish ship

If the tumblr Rads do their job then this saga is not going to last long-- BUT! That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna get the balls jiggling like a lil shit-lord. ---- Fandoms, the title of said post and what we enjoy stuff within, make friends within, love, enemies, rivals, associates we sometimes chat to if we just happen to be in the same place at the same time and have enough confidence to not run the fuck the other way. Fandoms, great places, terrible places, sewers for games, movies, books and so on, especially when our biggest internet sewer, happens to be Tumblr. For the pilot post, I will bring attention to a personal favourite: Trikey. If you dunno what the ship is: It’s Michael De Santa and Trevor Philips. Classic platonic/kinda not really platonic but god knows they’re too stupid/repressed to say anything ship of mid-2013. Course the name came later. A lot of people like to shit on trikey for all the reasons you can think of, literally, people will call the ship ANYTHING just to make you feel like shit for liking it cus everyone feels entitled to an opinion these days, even the worst kind of opinions known to man/woman/horse. One of the big labels of hate is fetishing, fetishing gay/straight/lgbtq dudes and serial killers. People have used this subject of hate, time and time again to make fans of trikey afraid to shit it out of understandable “I don’t wanna be a fetisher!” and “I don’t want to be seen this way!” As someone on the extreme end of that argument, back then and to this day, on and off tumblr, I’m here to say a thing, said it back in the day and I’ll say it now. Matchmaking: two people introduced through whatever means, usually one friend knows another friend and they have a friend who is looking for someone, or maybe a bro is trying to hook his younger/older bro up and he knows this hot chick/dude/horse, you get the idea, two people are thought to be “Good together” and so Dave brings Jim-bob and Mary-sue brings Daisy-fae and the two are like “OMG YOU GUYS ARE SUCH A PERF MATCH! HELL YAW!” We do this every single day IRL: We ship real people and think nothing of it, nobody is dubbed a “Fetisher” because you brought Tim to the same party with intentions of getting him together with Andy. Women do this, Men do this, men and women, both, neither, trans, EVERYONE FUCKING DOES IT! But if you’re online, and the people aren’t actually real, things go out the window. Now yes, I completely admit and agree that there are really weird/fucked up people online who will and do fetish characters, male, female, neither, both, whatever race or age or even specific gender, age, race, people get really terrible about it and they will defend their actions as “Hey it’s not real”, which no, it isn’t, but when they are showing clear signs/evidence of fetishing, only then, should things be said, and not in the screaming harpy fandom war type of way, no, actually speak to the person, report them, call them out with real evidence you and many others have, or just block them out because sometimes, sickos only respond to a fence built between them and the shit they’re fetishing. However, just shipping/matchmaking two guys/people, is not fetishing. Trikey, when it isn’t extreme, is just people/fans, shipping two guys with actual chemistry, when it isn’t extreme, trikey is harmless fun between fans of a video game, enjoying their time like everyone does! I enjoy shipping trikey, just as much as playing minecraft or sims or writing, more so even! Actual fetishing is happening every day IRL, in magazines, ads, marketing, business, everything, yes it can be as bad online, but making fans of something out to be the Harvey Weinstein in training....not rational and not okay. Really not okay, dudes. If you knew actual fetishing, it would disturb you, enrage you, make you want to go out and stop it, not hang around fandoms and taunt/harass people online because omg two fictional people are getting it on or being pushed together out of the same shit we IRL ship Suzy and Dan from the club! GROW. UP. Get some brains, googie the meaning of fetish, learn some shit and go make a point of your argument. Actually defend something instead of screaming at the sky like someone is going to open the clouds and be like “Dudeeeee, you’re so woke” Because woke people, are out there, are leaving fandoms be and doing something good in the world. And now, like a woke person myself....I am going to run the fuck away and prep myself for the screaming harpys of tumblr to come destroy me

#fandom

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iknownothingihearnothing · 6 years ago

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Game of Thrones 8.3 “Battle of Winterfell”

HOLY SHITSICKLES, YOU GUYZ!

That episode was AH-MAZING. I know it wasn’t exactly the shower of death we expected--I mean, there was TONS of death, don’t get me wrong, but our ultra-beloveds are still safe...for now--but it was still epic. Totally worth having to squint for over an hour at a laptop screen brought obscenely close to my face.

Honestly, I thought it was just me until I logged onto Twitter after the episode and everyone was like:

I also made the grievous error of signing into social media before the episode aired and I saw that “Arya” was trending. I thought that she had been killed and I was about to riot.

My brother had actually seen the episode before me--we share an HBO Go account with my uncle because as a lifelong bachelor, he can afford all those channels we cannot--and when I turned it on the battle was at the midway point; I was spoiling myself. I texted my bro “I WILL KILL YOU” and he replied with an emoji of a house. IDK if he plans to defend himself with a house or hide in a house or drop a house on me like I’m the Wicked Witch of the East.

As the episode opens, it’s nighttime (of course it is), and Sam’s hands are shaking because it’s really fucking cold. The Winterfellians are ushering everyone who ain’t fighting into the supposedly SAFE IT’S SO SAFE YOU ALL WILL BE SO MUCH SAFER crypt and performing last minute prep. Theon and Co are wheeling BranBot to the Weirwood tree where he will be used as bait to lure out the Night King.

Sansa and Tyrion and Co. are up on the ramparts. Sansa, naturally, does not look very excited for this party.

The actors’ also. They had to shoot 55 nights in a row.

We get our first glimpse of Drogon and Rhaegal of the episode, AKA the Good Dragons. Because we need to decipher on this show.

Everybody’s in position. The canons are ready. The awesome catapults are ready. The Dothraki are ready. The Unsullied are ready.

All the animals, too, are in place. Including Ghost!

Jon/Aegon approaches Dany and her dragons on a hill overlooking Winterfell so they can get a decent view of the happenings below and get better air on their dragonplanes.

There is SO much to unpack with Jon and Daenerys. They have lots of, uh, “stuff” to deal with, like that he’s technically her nephew and she’s more concerned that he has a claim (and a bigger one) on the Iron Throne than that he’s her blood relation and they’ve had lots of sexy sex. And also that the brother she grew up hearing raped Lyanna Stark actually loved her and married her in secret, thus producing Jon.

But, er, now is not the time and they know that so they gots to put aside their feels and kick some ice zombie butt and save humanity. I imagine this is how Sophia Bush felt when she still had to work with Chad Michael Murray on One Tree Hill knowing he cheated on her with a teenaged extra.

Sort of. Minus the whole “we might die” part.

Melisandre rides up after being in Volantis all this time. Remember how she said she’d come back to Westeros just one more time? Well, that time is here. The Red Woman asks Jorah to tell the Dothraki to lift their swords, which he hesitantly does. Melly grasps the front dude’s Arakh, chants some freaky Lord of the Light mojo, and then all the Arakhs, one by one, become alight in flames like Beric Dondarrion’s.

Even Tormund is awed.

The Red Woman continues on, wishing “Valar morghulis” to Grey Worm, who instantly returns with “Valar dohaeris”. Davos, up in the ramparts, having been warily watching Melly, finally gives the order to open the gate. He...is not a fan of Melisandre. She may have brought back Jon from the Great Beyond but she burned Shireen alive.

However, now is not the time for disputes among the Team Alive population. If they wanna beat Team Undead, they gotta work together.

Davos goes to meet her and she assures him that there is no need to execute her or anything cus she’ll be dead before dawn.

Davos:

Up on the roof, Arya catches Melly’s eye. And she don’t look like she’s throwing out the welcome banns.

Melisandre is on there because she kidnapped Gendry all those seasons ago. You know, to do that sexy, leechy blood magic on him.

And BOOM. The first wave sets off. Mostly consisting of Dothraki on horseback, with Jorah leading them into battle. Huge alight boulders are also placed inside catapults and set flying. Ghost is seen running beside the horses, teeth gnashing.

Srsly, they need to save that direwolf. The PTB at GoT have already killed the other wolves, with the exception of Nymeria, who has run free, and David and D.B. have confirmed that Crazy Cersei killed Ser Pounce after Tommen died. There is NOT a good track record with pets on this show.

All the Dothraki race into the fray to meet the undead, ululating and shouting war cries in the Dothraki language. They’re proud. They’re confident. They are WARRIORS. They know what they’re doing. They’ve been raised on this shit.

And then...

That’s the ENTIRE DOTHRAKI HORDE! Just...gone in a few minutes, holy shit .Did GoT just erase the Dothraki?! Just like that, what the fuck?!

Anyone else feel indignant on behalf of the Dothraki?

Jaime looks like he’s about to shit his Iron Pants.

The second wave all look at each other like “WE ARE SO FUCKED” until some animals and finally people--including Jorah--return to the line. Ghost better be one of them!

Up on the hill, Dany’s in a panic because, again, the dead desecrated her entire Dothraki forces. And she is understandably devastated; they weren’t loyal to Jon, they were loyal to her. She was their Khaleesi. Their original plan was for them to remain on the hill and take flight there and wait for the dead to come to Winterfell’s gates but we all know that ain’t gonna happen. Jon, awkwardly, tries to intervene when Dany begins to leave, but Dany perseveres. The dead are already here and the Night King is a-comin’.

On the line, everyone’s waiting with bated breath. Sam looks about ready to pass out. Tormund’s glorious red mane blows in the wind, which the captions keep telling me “whistles”, so I know it is strong. Grey Worm puts on his helmet. The Unsullied army bend and position their weapons and....

The ensuing scuffle is pretty much insanity and confusion. There are dead body parts mixed with the same people we know and love trying to fight them off and, like, totally forever kill them. Brienne shouts “STAND YOUR GROUND!!” like a badass but is immediately overwhelmed and Jaime, upon glimpsing his CO and fellow knight (and maybe something more?) going down in the mud, jumps in to help her.

Dany and Jon ride in on the backs of Drogon and Rhaegal and it is never not awesome watching dragons spitting fire at their human overlords’ enemies.

Up on the roof of Winterfell, Arya and Sansa are flabbergasted as they watch with dismay the battle below. The blood, the fire, the (good) dragons. Finally, Arya turns to Sansa and implores her sister to get into the (VERY SAFE EVERYONE WILL BE SAFE THERE SWEARSIES) crypt.

Sansa doesn’t know how to use it, she is not trained in combat. Arya just tells her to stick the wights with the pointy end.

Good advice, Arya!

At the Weirwood tree, Theon and Co. are doing their bestest to keep the BranBot safe while he attempts to lure Ol’ Nighty out of his hidey-hole. And on the battlefield, Jorah falls off his horse decapitating ice zombies, Jaime is going through the dead like toilet paper (or whatever they used back then...what did they use?), and Sam is...well, he’s trying, poor lamb. Ultimately though, he becomes overwhelmed and Mr. Edd has to save his butt.

Sealing his fate.

Stabbed through the back of the head, that is quite dolorous.

Sansa goes down into the crypt, where all the nearby tenants who have no fight training are gathered already. Wordlessly, a ball of nerves, she meets the eyes of Missandei and Tyrion, the latter of whom, naturally, takes a drink.

I’d drink, too, in that scenario.

In the air, Jon and Dany are on the backs of their respective dragons, which I guess is the ye olde version of aerial warfare, battling the elements as well as the gross horde down below. It’s snowing and raining and they’re stuck in a low hanging cloud or maybe some fog idk I can’t SEE.

Someone shouts to fall back and the gates to Winterfell are opened--by Lyanna Mormont’s command, that pint sized badass--and men start piling in. Grey Worm orders the Unsullied to protect the retreat as best they could and stand their ground, damnit.

Jon finally comes out of the cloud but Dany doesn’t, and he lands with a worried look on his face. More men pour in through the gates while Brienne and Jaime usher them inside.

Arya, from the top of Winterfell, uses her archery skillz to take out the munchers creepin’ up behind Woof.

It’s a milestone every teenage girl reaches and it brings a tear to your eye, it does.

Grey Worm gives the order to fall back and light the trench and we the audience are like--

I cannot say enough how dark this episode is. I have my screen up to 100 percent brightness and I am still squinting doing this recap.

He’s really referring to Dany here, whom he’s trying to signal with torches, but she and Drogon are still stuck in that wholly inconvenient cloud/fog thing. Truly, the worst weather has converged on this one location in Westeros on the one night that they really need clear skies. All that’s missing is a hurricane.

But Davos speaks for us all.

So, Team Alive is all scrambling around trying to light the trenches with torches but they can’t because they’re kinda preoccupied battling the undead. That is where Melly steps in. After reciting some of that weird mojo in High Valyrian, the deep trenches throughout the Winterfell grounds become alight.

And the rest of us blink our eyes repeatedly in thanks.

The wights are separated from Winterfell behind the trenches and the Hound’s kinda freaking out because he doesn’t exactly like fire, having had his face nearly melted off by his brother, the Mountain. So he disappears.

Down in the crypt, everyone is hearing all the crazy going on upstairs and Varys is like “At least we’re already in a crypt, eh?” and no one’s amused.

Tyrion is anxious. He wants to be doing something, damnit! Like he did at the Battle of Blackwater. Maybe seeing something that no one else has figured yet. But Sansa, Lady of Hindsight, tells him to sit his ass down. It won’t do anyone good if Tyrion joins the Army of the Dead. Tyrion makes a smartass remark about how there is no organization less suited to his abilities and Sansa, Milady Logic, is all “Witty remarks won’t help you, all we can do now is wait. That’s why we is down here, because we can’t do nothin’” and Tyrion pauses before--

Tyrion, Lord of Winterfell? A Lannister?! Why not? Weirder shit has happened on GoT. Weirder shit is happening right now.

Then, Sansa squashes that by laying this on the table: it’d never work between them because of the Dragon Queen. Their divided loyalties would come between them. But before Tyrion can reply, Missandei, who has been eavesdropping on their convo, cuts in like “Yeah, damn that Dragon Queen! Y’all wouldn’t have to worry about that crap without her because...we’d all be dead, so...”

Whatever you think of Dany, there is no way the North would live without her and her armies and dragons. They’d be overrun within minutes.

At the Weirwood tree, Theon and Co. have formed a barrier before BranBot. Theon remarks that the trenches have been lit, then, haltingly, turns to BranBot and starts to apologize for, yanno, turning on the only family that ever loved him and claiming Winterfell for himself.

Dime store psychics around the globe should replace their crystal balls with miniature BranBots.

Then he says he’s going to go now, just like that, and he wargs into a raven to find the Night King’s position.

Gee. Why didn’t I ever think of that to get out of conversations?

“Hey, Bee, how’d you do on your stats exam?”

“...oh, uh, I did, er, ok. I’m gonna go now.” Wargs into chicken.

Ah, there’s Ol’ (really Ol’, Ancient Ol’) Nighty, riding Viserion, looking all creepy and stuff.

Not quite, Nighty, not quite.

Zombies are an impatient lot. They’re hungry and dead and they’re doomed to shamble around the earth forever. So, if a few have to be sacrificed in order for the rest of Team Undead to cross the trenches, so be it. One by one, the ice zombies literally throw themselves on the line of fire, sandwiching their ewwie bodies until the rest of the horde can safely use them as a bridge to cross. An Undead Bridge, if you will.

When Davos realizes what they are doing, the look on his face is quite classic horror movie:

You know when you’re watching a scary movie and the protagonist or whoever hears something or sees something but isn’t quite sure what it is, only knowing that it’s bad mmkay? That is that look.

Davos shouts the order to man the walls of Winterfell. Elsewhere on the battlefied, Jon is still in the same spot he landed, anxious about Dany. He glimpses a dragon emerge from the fog and, at first, he thinks it’s Daenerys but it soon becomes evident that it’s the Night King riding on Viserion.

Winterfell, meanwhile, is all cloaked in a cloud of mud and rain. The soldiers and Northerners are clambering to keep the White Walkers from penetrating the walls of the castle.

They have to keep them from legit climbing the damn walls.

If I’m ever a zombie, I want the Night King to make me. Apparently, rigor mortis is not a thing in wights.

The wights keep climbing until some of them start to get over the wall despite Jaime, Brienne, et. al. slicing off head after head. They just keep coming. The Team Undead horde is massive.

I bet the denizens of Winterfell are wishing for a nice, stationary mall right about now.

Soldiers are going over the railings, Sam’s whimpering butt has to be saved again, and the Hound is utterly frozen. It’s all just anarchy.

Beric and his Flaming Sword of Justice attempt to get Woofie’s attention again but to no avail. Arya’s doing her thang with her pointed staff, taking out wight after wight with Davos looking on, impressed (knight or not, you have been bested by a teenager, old man).

And then, this:

ZOMBIE GIANTS!

ZOMBIFIED MOTHAFUCKIN’ GIANTS.

“Fee, fi, fo fum, I smell the blood of EVERYONE.”

It pushes her to the side like she’s a goddamn sack of potatoes and it’s smacking people around with its club like they’re nothing but rag dolls. Arya falls down a set of stairs as wights group in to attack her and smacks her forehead on the side of a wall. Not up to her usual Faceless Man self after that, she stumbles and nearly falls off the roof, which finally energizes the Hound to action.

On the ground, Lyanna’s had enough of being tossed around by White Walker McGigantor.

She screams, races toward it, it grabs her in its huge fist, and, blood pouring out of her mouth and nose and it crushes her, she STABS IT THROUGH THE FRIGGING EYEBALL.

It’s a fitting end for an awesome character. Lyanna made such an impression on everyone and her cumulative screentime was just over fifteen minutes on the show.

In the air, Jon and Dany are finally reunited again when out of nowhere sails the Night King and his trusty Undragon.

Looks like someone has been chewing too much Winterfresh!

Viserion lets loose a stream of Winterfresh friendly fire and Daenerys ducks and whimpers as her undead baby tries to kill her. When the Night King sails off, Jon and Dany look at each other before mutually agreeing in some unspoken communication to dive.

Aww, they are communicating without words already! Bestill my lowkey-shipping-for-incest heart.

In Winterfell, the White Walkers have managed to break into the halls of the castle and, in less...white climes, they look less frozen and more, well, zombie. Arya, with her trusty staff, is attempting to sneak through her ancestral home without alerting Team Undead.

Unfortunately, she stumbles into the library and, weird, there are a lot of wights in the library. I didn’t know ice zombies were such avid readers.

What? Ice zombies need wank material, too, you know.

That is, if their genitals haven’t fallen off.

Our girl is creeping through the library, dodging errant undead in her wake. Desperately, she dives under a table, but the blood from her head wound is dripping on the floor, which attracts a nearby wight.

You know, like a shark.

The wight bends down and almost catches her, giving us all a mini heart attack, but Arya is gone. Phew.

BT-dubbs, that wight is none other than Javier Botet, who has made a sort of career playing monsters, including as the Leper in 2017′s It.

He was cast on purpose because he can contort his body in absurd ways. And I apologize for making you look at the Leper again. Yeesh.

Grabbing a book, she sails it across the floor to distract the zombies, runs into one going around the corner who then meets the fun end of her blade, and escapes the library.

Who knew a library could be so dangerous?

Arya escapes into a chamber and softly closes the door behind her, leaning back against it. She seems to be safe for a moment and then--

Ser Brus of House Bannyr. He’s a buddy of the Mountain.

Wights start pouring in and Arya runs. She runs, runs, runs--down through the narrow, damp, ill-lighted walls of Winterfell, bleeding from her head wound.

Meanwhile, just below her down in the crypt--

It’s SAFE it’s so SAFE, you guys.

The denizens of the crypt wait with bated breath and gasp when two desperate soldiers ram against the crypt door, begging to be let in. Sansa looks conflicted, wanting to help the soldiers but not at the cost of any of her people.

In the corridors, Beric Dondarrion and his Flaming Sword of Justice and the Hound are tiptoeing through Winterfell when they hear battling and growling noises (thank you, captions) and Arya falls through a doorway with wights quickly after her. The Hound picks her up and they all race down the hall, Beric throws his sword at a couple of White Walkers but they soon begin to overwhelm him. Arya gazes back at him in desperation as the Hound tries to get her away, and Beric is stabbed by one of Team Undead. He stands there, limbs akimbo face aloft as if praying to the Lord of the Light.

I love this scene. It further underscores how much Arya has come to mean to the Hound. Before, he was frozen, nothing could jolt him out of his panic but the image of Arya in peril. And he spends the rest of the episode fighting not so much for the living but for her.

Beric manages to stumble down the hall after Arya and the Hound and they lock a door behind him. Arya sits him against a wall while the Hound barricades the door with anything nearby.

Muttering unintelligibly, the man who was resurrected six times closes his eyes forever.

Melisandre appears behind them after Beric passes, letting them know that he served his purpose. Arya knows her; the Red Woman promised her that they’d meet again and there they are. She also promised that Arya would close many eyes in her young life, which was also right. Brown eyes. Green eyes. And blue eyes.

The wights are growling and scratching at the door, eager to come in and kill and feast on human flesh and blood. Arya stares while Melly bends down and whispers in her ear--

At the Weirwood tree, the wights are finally a-comn’ for BranBot and Theon and his men get into position with flaming arrows (I am now really in the mood for smores). Simultaneously, Dany/Drogon, Jon/Rhaegal/ and Ol’ Nighty/Viserion are duking it out in the air above them, the archers below attempting to knock the Undragon out of the sky.

It’s like a WWII aerial dogfight, but with dragons. So, like, a dragonfight.

Someone has entered his rebellious goth phase!

Srsly, what other show offers a mid-air dragon fight?

The dragonfight ends, somehow, only with the Night King falling off his chosen Undragon.

Rhaegal makes a shaky landing--there is plenty of turbulence in the North, after all--and Jon rolls off his favorite dragon. Dany continues the hunt for Ol’ Nighty and when she finds him, she gives the order for Drogon to do his thang.

It...doesn’t work out as hoped.

The Night King grins and throws his ice staff at Drogon, the weapon that took down Viserion. Fortunately, the ensuing hit isn’t fatal and Dany turns tail and gets out of there before it is.

Jon whips out his trusty sword and begins following the Night King. But when Ol’ Nighty realizes he’s being followed, he turns around, bestows upon Jon a “teacher catching you doing something naughty” stare, and...does his thang.

Team Alive desecrated many of your army? Just make a new one like that. Using his dark hippity doo da, the Night King raises all the soldiers (formerly) of Team Alive who fell in battle. And there’s a fucking lot of them. Including fallen Unsullied back at Winterfell’s gates and even Lyanna Mormont.

At the castle, Jaime and Grey Worm look on in confusion and horror.

New inductees to Team Undead swarm in on Jon as the Night King and some of his disciples make their way to Winterfell.

In the crypt, it was only a matter of time until this happened:

Y’all need some stronger building materials. This cannot be up to code. What would the leader of the HOA say?

Everyone in the crypt scatters in panic, minus the unlucky few who become Thing Food.

At the Weirwood tree, Theon and Co. are doing their best Robin Hood while BranBot is still checked out. I guess he’s in the raven, trying to get a location on the Night King? BranBot, do us all a favor and crap on his head.

(You missed! He was totally open, Bird! Damn.)

Jon almost gets overwhelmed until Dany and Drogon come to the rescue and manage to char the ice zombies without turning the one guy who is alive into a crispie critter, too. She tells him to go, be the hero we need, and he runs off.

However, before Drogon can fly off, he, too, is quickly overcome with wights, tearing at his wings, climbing all over his spine. He roars and twists and turns and Dany goes tumbling off.

Drogon flies away with some wights still hanging onto him, trying to get all the annoying dead OFF. They must itch like crazy.

He leaves his mommy behind and suddenly Dany is alone in a battlefield surrounded by Team Undead. She has no weapons. Her main weapon was Drogon. He is how she defeats her enemies. What the hell is she gonna do now?

One of the wights falls off Drogon and has blue eyes only for Dany. Who is alone. Vulnerable. Fucking sitting in the dirt.

But, what luck! Jorah of House Fryndzonne appears out of nowhere to decapitate the wight with Heartsbane and protect his Khaleesi.

I’ve been looking for an excuse to use that. Not a big anime fan but I love Hetalia.

Jon makes his way back to Winterfell, stickin’ and stabbin’ and gruntin’ and growlin’ and bein’ manly. He’s had it up to here with them ice zombies, you guys.

Theon and Co. are working all the harder to protect BranBot while he’s still Like A Bird. Theon’s men all go down and soon he’s left alone to defend the automaton that was once Brandon Stark.

In the crypt, Tyrion and Sansa are hiding behind a cement monument. Their wordless communication, expressed through the eyes alone, sends a chill down my spine. There is so much unsaid in that mutual gaze, and the acting here is superb. Props to Peter Dinklage and Sophie Turner.

Sansa, shaking, whips out the dagger Arya gave her, and Tyrion kisses her hand.

If they both live through season 8, maybe those crazy kids could make it work? Tyrion would be a kick Lord of Winterfell. I can see him in a furry cape.

Elsewhere, Viserion is utterly destroying Winterfell.

Dany and Jorah are desperately stabbing at ice zombies on the battlefield. Tyrion and Sansa carefully run out from behind the monument. Jon just barely dodges a wave of blue fire as Viserion continues to destroy Winterfell. Theon is doing is damndest to shield BranBot from the White Walkers, but he’s evidently slowing down.

And then, oh crap, there he is. In slow motion, like he knows all eyes are on him.

Hey yeah yeah, they’re Calyfornya.

Jorah is working alllllllll his muscles trying to protect his Khaleesi. Jaime and Brienne are backed up against a still standing wall of Winterfell as wights close in around them.

The Night King and his Night Kronies are coming for BranBot.

The remaining wights part for their Icicle Overlord. He stands there glowering down at Theon and BranBot. BranBot tells Theon he is a good man and thanks him and the audience is like--

I thought BranBot wasn’t programmed to say thank you. Ask Meera.

Theon grasps his pointed staff firmly, yells, and runs toward Ol’ Nighty, who, of course, grabs it and stabs him right through the gut.

Sorry, Theon. You managed to survive Ramsey (and getting your Reek cut off) but the Night King was your undoing. You lasted most of the show, though. That’s more than can be said for most characters.

Speaking of lasting most of the show--

Beric, Theon, now Jorah. Everybody stab now!

Jon is hiding behind some debris. The Night King walks ever closer to BranBot. Jon gets up and screams at Viserion for some reason. BranBot gazes up at the Night King. The Night King begins to reach for his ice sword, and then--

Arya Stark, like the fucking avenging angel she is!

I love that she was the one to destroy the Night King. She and Lyanna Mormont were both frigging awesome this episode.

Moral: don’t mess with a girl.

Maisie Williams said in EW that when she initially read the script she was afraid people would think she didn’t deserve it or something. To that I say pish posh. “Arya” has been trending for days.

After he explodes, all the wights begin to fall, including Viserion. Team Alive was right. Kill the Night King, his disciples are toast, too.

The crypt people come out of their hiding places and silently view the carnage. Arya looks over at BranBot and smiles a little. BranBot just sits there without offering a thank you. I guess he only malfunctioned that one time with Theon.

Unfortunately, the zombies aren’t the only ones that fall. Jorah is hurt and hurt badly. He buckles on the battlefield, surrounded by inactive wights, bleeding from seeming every orifice. Dany bends down before him, crying and holding his head.

He dies in her arms. A fitting end for Jorah of House Mormont, forever loyal to his Khaleesi.

So is Dany’s dragon.

Aww. That’s...cute. Like a dog with wings. And scales. That breathes fire.

The Hound, Melisandre, and Davos walk out of Winterfell just as dawn is breaking. The Hound and Davos stop at the door but Melisandre keeps going, looking determined. Shedding her trademark red cloak, she marches forward, ridding herself of the ruby necklace that has kept her young for centuries.

And then, growing older before their eyes, she perishes. Her mission is complete.

And that’s the end of the episode. Cue end credits.

Salt and crackers, that took FOREVER. Every free moment I had I was recappin’. But the episode was awesome and the cast says the next episode is even more awesome so I can’t wait!

Now comes the march on King’s Landing, the taking of the crown, and, hopefully, Cersei gonna die. Who’s gonna have her head? Will it be Jaime? Arya? Tyrion? My bet is Jaime.

Also, congats are in order for our Sansa Stark. Sophie Turner got married to Joe Jonas last night after the Billboard Music Awards. In Vegas with an Elvis impersonator presiding, which is fantastic.

#game of thrones #game of thrones recap #game of thrones 8 #nickolaj coster-waldau #gwendoline christie #Sophie Turner #peter dinklage #Kit Harrington #emilia clarke #iain glen #alfie allen #isaac hempstead wright #maisie williams

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lilbasedqueen · 6 years ago

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story of my fucking life

First off I wanna start by saying my intention on putting this all out in the open isn’t to tarnish whatever pedestal some people might hold Adam upon. I should’ve have seen from the beginning that he was nothing but a literal walking garbage can.

Adam and I met in September of 2015, at Jamba Juice. He was my manager at the time and not shortly after he quit and I took his job. Somewhere down the line (maybe 5 months) I met and stupidly started dating Adams roommate. This OF COURSE made Adam jealous, because he saw someone have something he wanted, someone who at the time didn’t want him back. Anyway, that shit DID NOT work out, if I ever met anyone WORSE than Adam, it’s Joe. Don’t ever fw a Taurus who’s also a recovering addict, it don’t work. No matter how hard I tried to help him, he never wanted it, never accepted it, I’d bet all the $ in the world he relapsed.

After things ended between Joe and I, I would still talk to and hit up Adam, mainly because he sold me weed. Now at this time, Adam had a girlfriend who he had moved out here from Hawaii and was living with him in the apartment that eventually became ours. I’m not exactly sure what the reasoning was for her leaving, but something made her go back home and thats when Adam and I started messing around. I should’ve took the fact that he so willingly cheated on this girl he was SOOOO IN LOVE WITH as a huge red flag but apparently I’m just as stupid as he is.

February 2016 was the first time Adam and I had sex, when we officially started dating and when I should’ve seen the signs of his narcissistic, emotionally abusive ways. When we first got together it was all about sex drugs and alcohol. I’m not gonna go deeeep into it, cause some stuff really is better left unsaid and unknown, but we spent the majority of almost everyday together drunk and high. We’d drive out to lake mead, Nelson’s landing, state line and back, intoxicated. I had become so infatuated with this BOY who gave me free weed and took me wherever I wanted, I got undeniably caught up in the moment and never once thought about how things would be down the line.

Fast forward to April 2016, my 22nd birthday. That night was when everything started going wrong. My debit card got stolen out of my wallet by someone I thought of like family, someone I trusted. That person, you know who you are, I will never EVER forgive them. Anyway, after that happened, I lost my bank account and all my money with it AND THEN Adam and I came home one day to find the apartment emptied of almost everything, roommates gone. They just packed up and left and I assume it was because of me. Joe was still living there even after Adam and I started dating, talk about awkward. So after these guys moved out and the other fucked me over, it was just Adam, Cloud and I, in a three bedroom apartment we couldn’t afford.

I had started working, Adam had gotten fired from his job. It was just us living off an 8.50/hr paycheck every two weeks.We could hardly afford to eat, but eventually Adam got a job at a restaurant as a server and things were starting to look up...until I first caught him hitting up girls/older women off of Craigslist sex. This continued throughout the entirety of our relationship, while I was pregnant, while I was in labor, and after. He spent the past three years only caring about himself and his shrimp dick.

So, after my first initial catching him talking to bitches, he got his phone shut off and eventually pawned it to pay rent...but somehow he was still managing to meet girls (through his job). I realize how much of an idiot I was and am, for not leaving, for believing his lies of changing, for falling in love with him. He’s become far to comfortable, and any chance he got of me leaving the house, he’d bring a girl up into our room, into our home. We went through about 8-9 roommates before we ended up on our own, and every single person would tell me the same thing: “He doesn’t deserve you.” At a point we had 6 people living in a 3 bedroom apartment, Adam and I had broken up, he broke up with me ONLY so he could fuck a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL in our house.

Let’s jump ahead, to September 2017, when I found out I was carrying this bum ass niggas baby. My initial reaction was fear, I had never EVER EVER wanted to be pregnant, especially by someone like him, but I was...and I couldn’t even get the pregnancy terminated which was my first choice. How shitty dos that sound? I so badly wanted away from this dude I was gonna have a whole ass abortion to do it. I was 24w pregnant and had only 3 months to completely GROW UP. I had to stop smoking, and drinking, which I had been doing up until the day we found out. Adam and I made a pact that if I couldn’t get high or drunk then neither could he...y’all could imagine how well that worked out. We were now living with his brother and his girlfriend, Adam was working at Carl’s Jr. and WAS STILL CHEATING ON ME WITH CRAIGSLIST WHORES. I just could not believe his thought process, what type of dude cheats on their pregnant girlfriend?! At this point, I was so far along in my pregnancy it was almost like I HAD TO STAY, he made me believe that everything would be different once that baby was earthside.

March, 2018. Zander was born in December and was now three months old. Hold onto your seats cus this where shit gets JUICY. So by this time we had moved out of his brothers house and into a real house, with my friends mom. Adam was now working at Levis, since he just up and quit Carl’s Jr. He was finally making decent money, working good hours to help and PROVIDE for his family like a man should. A friend of his had gave him this cheap ass Obama phone, since he didn’t have one, so that I could call and text him when needed. He hardly ever used that phone to contact me, but instead he again WAS FINDING PPL OFF CRAIGSLIST TO FUCK. Me being the curious cat that I am, I went and looked in that phone to see just who he was talking to and again this is when I should’ve left. Adam was now not only cheating on me with FEMALES, but this dude was LEGITIMATELY hitting up other guys. He was texting someone named Alex, who I at the time assumed was a girl but me being the spy that I am, I put that phone number into my phone and it popped up on Snapchat AS A DUDE!!

So, the year went on and our relationship at this point is nonexistent. I harbored so much hate and anger and resentment toward him I had absolutely no tears left to shed over him and his disgusting ways. By August of 2018, we had moved out of the house, and into the co do we are still currently in. He was at Levis from May 2017 until November, fired yet again from another job. In December he started working at FedEx, and my health was the worst it had ever been. I wasn’t eating, hardly sleeping, my headaches were completely incapacitating me, I couldn’t care for myself let alone my child. I was alone at night from 5-11 while he went to work at FedEx, alone and in pain and left to care for a baby.

Three days before Zanders first birthday, I woke up at 4am on Thursday morning, got out of bed and fell to the ground, where I started having a partial seizure, awake and aware of every going on, unable to move or speak. I was completely STUCK on the ground almost the whole entire time while I waited for my dad to pick me up and take me to the ER. I was in the worst pain of my life, and honestly wished I would’ve just died so I did t have to feel like that anymore. I was brought back to surgery around I think noon, came out around 2pm. Anesthesia is a HELL OF A DRUG, that shit is so crazy bro, almost as crazy as all the shit I put up with.

You’d think after having BRAIN SURGERY, your boyfriend would do anything he could to make life easier for you but shit just went back to the way it always has been. I was the one cleaning, taking care of the baby, cooking, taking care of the dogs. I JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL FROM BRAIN SURGERY and it was back to how shit had always been. All things considered I was feeling better, but it was shitty having your significant other not give a shit about you or your health. Dude could hardly be bothered to visit me in the hospital I had to BEG him to come see me.

Now, we jump ahead to today...2019 and I’ve again caught him on CL hitting up people. At this point Adam is again UNEMPLOYED, hasn’t had a job since March. We haven’t paid Mays rent, can’t pay bills or buy food because he uses MY ebt card as if it’s his. Now, I say people because at this point I have no clue if it’s guys or girls he’s trying to talk to. I had about two other more times where I saw gay stuff that rose my suspicions as to whether or not Adam like boys...I mean I hook up with girls so what’s to be embarrassed about? Right now is May 23, 3 days ago I was on my email on MY PHONE, checking emails like anyone else would, when I saw yet again something from Craigslist. Emails exchanged since JANUARY up until now, between Adam and another guy, talking about stuff they’ve done, Adam asking him if he wants to suck his dick again, and if they can smoke. I realize one reason for his actions is Adams extreme addiction to cannabis. He hits up people online to ‘party and play’, who tf ever thinks their baby daddy is a closet homosexual? People say you can’t be addicted to weed but I assure this nigga is an addict. When he’s not high he’s grumpy and rude and takes everything out on everyone but once he smokes his whole mf mood changes.

I literally feel like my whole last four years of my life is a movie. Who the hell finds out their boyfriend cheated on them with MEN? lol wtf bro, is this even real? But yes, it is, so very real and so very much my life. Adam and I broke up two days ago, and unfortunately for me, I got no where else to go. So for all of you who constantly ask me if I’m okay, if everything’s alright, NO IM NOT OKAY, no everything’s not alright. My life is a fucking prison, and I have nowhere to go to escape him and his absolute toxic ways.

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sensitivegoblin · 2 years ago

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Same anon here, I also wanted to add that your dad is an abusive piece of shit, and looks like the cause for a majority of your negative self image

Hey I appreciate you caring enough to say that

I love my dad and I know he’s trying physically to make things better but verbally and emotionally he just doesn’t care

He’d be mad if he heard me say that because he does care and love me but conversation wise he really doesn’t try, he’s old so he gets to be the way he is basically

Like I LOVE my dad and never want him to leave me, too many people have already…

I just wish he could plug into me and watch and feel how the shit he says to me feels

When I was younger he would drill into me that I shouldn’t watch “bad stuff” cus it’ll get stuck in my brain….okay so knowing that why do you say half of the shit that you do????????

I hate calling him abusive cus he’s autistic like me and never got the treatment that I did and he’s spoiled me to make me happy, and he has a track record of giving his all to an ungreatful family

I’m just…. I’m just literally alone all day with me and my brain cus nothing grabs my attention anymore, so all i hear all day long is him and the things he says and he’s said some fucked up stuff recently (especially something about LGBT+ men that’s been a fucking worm in my brain and I can’t get it out and I don’t like it and I’m scared)

Like I try to explain to him my triggers and he just gets mad that we can’t talk about anything, like wow gee it’s almost like IM the traumatized one and maybe I fucking hate that too???? I know there’s nothing to talk about??? That’s why I wanna die, asshole.

You should hear him tho, he thinks OUTLOUD so everyone dark Unhopeful thought I have is actually timesed by 2

Honestly even more so

Like literally it’s “I’m gonna fucking die here” “I’ll never drum ever again” “things are never gonna get better” “I’m old and dying” it just goes on and on and on and on and on and on….

How am I supposed to be feel anything but hopelessness when that’s all he says?

I wish that I could tell him that for years I was cutting after every fight we had, he probably wouldn’t believe me

But also he’s said before he’d be so mad if I was SHing and that he’d kill me so :)

I know he wouldn’t actually kill me but he’s inferring he’d be extremely mad….

And like in the back of my head constantly I’m like “what if I’ve strayed so far into the world that Satan has made Dad my enemy?”

But like I know it’s not true at the same time not though????

I have a lot of religious baggage and I was ok with it for awhile but ever since my dad got sick it’s been the worst it’s ever been

I grew up Christian and being gay + kinky don’t really mix well into that

At this point I’m rambling but fuck I’m so sad and lonely and my chest hurts so much I’m sorry

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the-gay-in-the-way · 6 years ago

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Anime but with Thomas and the Sides.

What it says on the tin.

It’s late, I’m tired, I’m not in my house, it’s dark, and I just finished rewatching Pretear with my siblings for the fiftieth time in my life after going to a GAAM anime event.

So I’m thinking about anime and I’m(always)thinking about the sides and Thomas.

So now I’m gonna talk about all of my crap ideas cus my sister doesn’t use her AC, we live in Florida, and I can’t sleep when I’m sweating buckets.

I wasn’t gonna make a post about this originally because I figured no one would care but someone recently mentioned it and I gave Andy some shoujo recs recently and Thomas has made videos about anime so I realized that I was being dumb and could literally just talk about this without worrying too much.

I also figured I wouldn’t make a post about it cus my ideas are crap.

But now it’s late and I don’t really care and I really wanna talk about this, even if it’s just to myself via text format, so I’m making this post while trying to ignore the sounds of my drunk sister doing terrible things in the room next to mine.

So, starting from what I literally just thought of because of what I literally just watched.

Pretear

It’s a terrible but great old anime about a girl who has to save the world by “fusing” with these handsome guys who are sworn to save the world from, basically, an evil witch.

I would recommend it if you like classic anime and/or magical girl stuff and/or reverse harems.

I watched it as a kid with my sisters so many times that I have the entire opening and ending sequences memorized and can give you an exact play by play of what happens in the entire series.

And, honestly, I find a lot of the premises within it pretty interesting.

The fusing thing is pretty neat.

Although it doesn’t change the appearance of the girl who “Pretes” with the guy, it conjures up a pretty cool, in my opinion, outfit and, sometimes, a weapon for her to use.

Also, the way that the “Knights”(that’s what the guys are called) work is actually quite fascinating and makes me wish there was more stuff written and animated for them.

For one, there is a sort of system of recreating the Knights when one of them dies.

For another, their abilities are quite cool, when you get past some of the weaker parts.

And there are just so many cool things you can do with them as a storyteller.

So here’s what I was thinking.

All of the sides are knights while Thomas is the Pretear.

One thing about Pretear is that it says the Pretear must be female.

But, as is the case with most rules in anime, this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case.

What if a Pretear turned out to be male.

Specifically, what if the Pretear was Thomas, who’s just trying to live his best life as a youtuber/ex-viner.

And what if the handsome guys who showed up to turn him into the Pretear where the sides we all know and love but Thomas had never met before.

And there are seven of them guys!

Seven Knights and, eventually, seven sides!

That’s an awesome coincidence.

But, without worrying about that, I’m mostly just thinking of what it would be like for Thomas to be the Pretear with all of the current sides as the Knights.

We could keep it with something more along the lines of the main elements, taking away the original extras of light and ice.

So each of the sides would be either fire, wind, earth, water, or sound.(because sound is an awesome element and you probably already know who I want to give it to.(especially because Sasame’s voice from the anime dub was hecking gorgeous and I absolutely love Virgil’s voice and want him to have this.))

Roman would be fire, of course.

Patton would be earth, because there are some abilities that Shin has as the Knight of Earth that make me think of Patton’s usual role as the sort of father and caregiver and stuff.

And the earth element is portrayed as something very soft and gentle in the series and it really feels appropriate for Patton.

Logan would be water, because I feel like it suits him in a way and I imagine that he would have something like a combination of water and ice since they’re so close and I took out the element.

Deceit would be wind, because he suits the sharpness of the element as it’s portrayed in the anime and he also suits Hayate because Hayate is a lying tsundere who lies so yeah.

And Virgil would, of course, be sound, because there are so many parallels between him and Sasame that it’s kind of ridiculous.

And I am going to list them now so, spoiler alert, I guess.

Their voices can make people faint from their beauty, I’m not kidding.

Sasame acts all cool and calm and okay with things but is internally filled with turmoil.

He has a tendency to be the voice of reason within the Knights, and I think Virgil has a tendency to be the same with Thomas and the sides.

Sasame is riddled with guilt from his past mistakes and is determined to make up for them.

But he makes up for them by doing the absolute worst thing possible and ends up breaking everyone’s hearts by trying to leave them. I’m not kidding about this either. This is a thing both of them did.

But then he gets his redemption at the end and everyone accepts him for who he really is.

Seriously, they are uncannily similar.

It’s kind of hilarious.

So, yeah.

Those are my basic thoughts on this.

Go watch Pretear.

It’s terrible and great and kind of dumb.

But I love it anyways.

Even tho, of course, it would be better if it where gayer.

Moving on!

Natsume's Book of Friends/Natsume Yuujinchou

This is my all time favorite anime.

I have watched the entire first four seasons over ten times now and all six seasons together three times since the new seasons came out.

I love this series more than anything in the world and would absolutely die for Natsume Takashi.(Just like Tanuma.(And literally everyone else.))

In it, a high school boy moves into the home of his new foster parents who happen to live in the town his grandmother used to live in.

He can see yokai while most people cannot and that leads to him being attacked by a bunch of them who think he’s actually his grandmother, who could also see yokai.

He finds out from them that his grandmother used to take the names of yokai she defeated in battle, which would turn them into her servants, and put them in a book she called “The Book of Friends”.

Natsume realizes that he has the book and decides to try and return all of the names in it to all of the yokai they belong to.

The yokai who told him about the book, and whom attacked him in order to get it from him before Natsume punched him and made him stop, decides to help him with this task by becoming his bodyguard and teaching him about yokai and the book in exchange for Natsume giving him the book should he die before emptying it.

Basically, a troubled boy tries to make up for the mistakes of his long dead grandmother, with the help of a very strong yokai disguised as a Maneki Neko/Lucky Cat, and ends up developing as a person over time as he makes friends with both humans and yokai alike and learns what it feels like to actually be a part of a family.

I will recommend it to anyone who likes supernatural slice of life’s and/or really good character development being the focus and/or lots of platonic love and/or just anyone who’s willing to listen to me because it’s hecking beautiful and I want everyone to know about it because it deserves the acknowledgement.

So, I was thinking about this recently while rewatching it once again.

What if Thomas was in Natsume’s place.

What if Thomas could see yokai but couldn’t tell anyone about it.

What if Thomas had a grandmother(His aunt Patty or something just cus that’s hilarious.)who could also see them.

What if Natsume inherited the book she filled with the names of yokai.

And what if he ended up deciding to return them with the help of a yokai bodyguard.

I’m very happy to have this thought.

The two are both the sweetest of beans and I love them dearly.

So I think it’s pretty appropriate.

Also, because I’m a sucker for it, a protective Virgil as a giant yokai dog disguised as a cat figurine is something that I would hecking live for.

Protective Virgil is basically my aesthetic at this point so this idea is perfect for me.

But then, also consider this.

Talyn and Joan as Kitamoto and Nishimura, respectively.(The best friends that don’t know about Natsume’s ability to see yokai but love him and all of his weird quirks anyways.)

Logan as Tanuma.(The friend who can’t see yokai but can still sense them and is, as such, allowed to know about Natsume’s secrets involving them and even help out when Natsume needs it.)

Patton as Taki.(The friend who can’t see or sense yokai but knows a lot about them and can basically use spells and equipment to deal with them and help out Natsume as well.)

Deceit as Natori.(The exorcist who can also see yokai but hates them and befriends Natsume while also trying to trick him into becoming an exorcist as well.)

Roman as one of the Dog’s Circle,(A group of yokai who befriended Natsume and are determined to help him whenever he needs them to.(He’d probably be someone like Hinoe, but with different abilities and things. I’d rather not be as specific with his role because I think he’d be better as his own sort of mythical being who befriends Thomas.))

And, because this needs repeating, Virgil as hecking Nyanko-Sensei.(The strong wolf/dog yokai sealed within the body of a cat figurine who becomes Natsume’s bodyguard because he wants the Book of Friends but eventually just protects him to the point of FACING LITERAL GODS because he cares about him.(Even tho he refuses to acknowledge it.))

Oh my god!

You guys have no idea how much I personally love this!

This entire thought process gives me life!

Especially when I think about all the fun stuff you can do with different mythologies and stuff!

As a fanfic or something this doesn’t have to take place in Japan.

This could just be in a nondescript universe where all the world, and it’s mythologies, are mixed.

So Thomas could meet greek and roman gods or old legends, like the headless horseman, and new legends, like slender man.

There could be crossovers from completely different fandoms that involve mythology.

It could be amazing!

I love this idea, so hecking much!

You guys seriously have no idea.

So, yeah, those are a couple of my anime rambles involving Thomas and the Sides.

I have more.

I have many many many more.

But I’m gonna stop here cus I’m quickly losing the fight to stay awake, which is a good thing cus I’m tired and should sleep so that I can stay awake for all of the stuff happening tomorrow, so I’m gonna go ahead and let myself rest.

Goodnight, hope you don’t mind my rambles, and you should seriously check out these anime.

Natsume Yuujinchou, especially.

It’s amazing.

I’m not kidding.

It’s the best thing.

I cry from it’s beauty every episode.

I’m not even kidding.

So, yeah.

Check it out and be blessed.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #anime #natsume yuujinchou #natsume's book of friends #pretear #i just love anime so much #i also love the sanders sides series so much #i had to combine them #i just couldn't help myself

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jackjames-exe · 6 years ago

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How are you today? 💕

Okay lets do this. Trigger warnings are in the tags.

(I started writing this before the vid came out so I decided to keep the original first part)

Oh my gods today has been so awful and it‘s barely even 4 pm.

My sisters (older one) friend decided to tell my mom things my younger sister and I told her in confidence. For me it was that I’ve thought of suicide and I’ve researched it once or twice on a bad day. Instead of being sad and wanting to talk she decided to get mad and slap me (it didn’t hurt really but still) and she yelled at me about how I have no right to feel suicidal. Her reason was that I have a lot, a computer (and laptop) I payed for with my uni money and my phone I helped pay for. I will say she gives me a lot, she’s paying my phone bill (and my phone in increments) and I (this is where I stopped) feel awful about making her think I’m not grateful for it, I really am. But I’m still depressed.

She decided that the way to prove I’m not actually suicidal or to show me I’m conflicting (I’m not quite sure why or which one) she decided to rush me and grab my throat (not enough to hurt me, just enough to have her hands around my neck and to put pressure on my windpipe, so just enough to scare me) but yea I obviously jumped and got scared because my mother is about to like choke me or some shit. She let go explained that I want to kill myself but I get scared when my throat is grabbed or I’m grabbed in general? Like that means I’m not actually suicidal.

Then she started asking me why and I said I feel useless and worthless and she asked if anyone had ever told me that, I said she has (because shes said it when angry) she got pissed. She told me to think about whether she has ever actually told me I’m worthless and left the room, I followed and we continued our argument. (I added this part for context)

She seems to think that just because I don’t talk about my problems that they dont exist. Which is dumb. She started lecturing me about the fact shes done a lot for me and she thought she was doing great before she found out I was depressed and now that she knows I’m suicidal too she feels like a failure and told me that she will book herself into the hospital so yea. I really do love her and appreciate her and she wont let me talk or listen to what I’m saying because she thinks that there’s no way I appreciate her if I dont do anything.

I told her I feel like a waste of space and like I don’t do anything and she said thats cus its true and yea shes right but still. Anyway so yea I told her I have no motivation and she said that I obviously do because I go on my phone and my computer so I just don’t want to do things for her because I don’t appreciate or cherish her, so yea that was fun. It kept going like that, me trying to explain and then her yelling and telling me I’m wrong about my own emotions and that I feel nothing for her.I got mad and asked her in tears to just let me talk

(I was crying the whole time which she got mad about because I wouldn’t explain in detail why, like the conversation and situation wasn’t upsetting and cus she kept getting mad at me I would force myself to stop and then when she insulted or got annoyed angry or whatever at me I’d start crying again)

So anyway I asked her to let me talk and she rushed at me gripped my hair and started getting more pissed saying that me saying sorry doesn’t do or tell her shit. And it kept going like that. She wouldn’t listen. She learned nothing other than the fact that the reason I haven’t ended it all yet was because I believed it would be a burden for someone to find me and have to deal with the consequences of that situation.

She got mad about that and later in the argument told me that I cause a lot of shit already from not doing anything so there was no point in that being a reason.And she also told me that I could go to a friend of mine who has taken psych classes about my issues and if shes really my friend I should feel comfortable with that. That isn’t even how friends work first of all and when I tried to tell her that I didn’t wanna get Becca (the friend) into my life and vent to her, she got angry AGAIN. Like the whole argument was me trying to explain my feelings, her getting mad and telling me I only care about myself so I was wrong and me arguing back and then her getting mad and getting in my face or getting physical or saying she’s a failure and she’s gonna leave us to our own devices while she goes to the hospital. She has pain, a lot of physical pain and she’s depressed too and stuff so she said it’d be easier on her anyway because (and I know this but she wont let us learn, she just gets pissed and yells at us and throws things while explaining how to do it right when we mess things up, which according to her is only because we don’t want to try, we can do it we just choose not to) (fun fact I actually planned on cleaning my room completely but she yelled at me so that got rid of a lot of hours I could have been doing that and made my mood awful. I’m still going to but now I’m just extremely upset)

So yea. She also brought back my past mistakes. When I was a kid I was fucking stupid and I made dumb decisions. One of which was to be upset because some people my sisters and I were hanging with weren’t hanging out with me or letting me play so in a fit of anger and will to be payed attention to I said I’d kill myself. At the time I was actually an okay kid but I got bullied a lot and I had like no friends so I was lonely and I didn’t want the few people who spoke to me to leave and I over reacted obviously not knowing the consequences. She took me to a therapist who asked questions. I said I was fine and since my mom and sister (older) both said I wasn’t fine apparently (i had just been told this today) they had to go to therapy classes to deal with the fact they were wrong. When I tried to tell her that I was just a stupid 11 year old kid she told me I wasn’t because I convinced a doctor I was fine? But I really was fine. I only started not to be because of all the consequences of that decision and growing up with no friends and being yelled at or bullied by my sisters eventually made me believe everything they’d made me feel and I ended up as I have been the past like 6 years. Yep.

But she calmed down and now she’s in a good ish mood I guess so I’m not being yelled at anymore and I got to watch Jack’s video! Now I’m sitting on my couch trying to work through my anxiety to call up my doctor so I can make an appointment to get help of some sort.

The worst thing is she is a great person, she’s really kind and fun to be around. But she’s just so stressed and tired and in pain. We’re really poor so she has difficulty with paying bills and getting food and she’s given up a lot for us and it seems like we just don’t care but I really love her and I listen to her and I wish I didn’t have such bad anxiety and depression, I wish I had the motivation I need to get up and do things around the house like she needs but I just. I can’t. Things are a lot and I can barely get up as it is. I know I need help and I want to get help and stuff. It’s just hard when I think about the fact I need to call and tell a person that I want an appointment and then go to it, possibly alone or with my mom and talk about everything or why I need help. I’m just scared so much. I don’t want to just burst into tears or make things confusing/stressful for the nurse or doctor. My mind is a lot.

So yea that is my day so far. I finished this at 6:35 pm. And yea.

#asks and answers #in asks im always gonna tell the complete truth now #anon asks #my day so far #trugger warning #trigger warnings #tw suicude #tw depression #tw anxeity #tw arguments

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ibroughtthisonmyselfpixels · 6 years ago

Photo

Okay, so this time we’re getting the interview out first, and the download after. It might save a little time in the long run, so Nigella can acclimatize as quickly as possible. I’ve shuffled the questions around a touch, so they can come in a sensible order, but I’ve kept the wording near the same bar some filler words. So.

First up: name? Age? Gender? Sexual orientation? Where are you from? Tell us about you, the bare basics.

“’kay, should be easy enough. I’m The Cheat. Just turned twenty-one this past--”

Wait. What? Is that really your name? I mean, are you actually-

“Yeah.” *raises fist* “What are you gonna do about it?”

...

“That’s what I thought. Now let me finish.”

( @@littlemicrocosims )

“I just turned twenty-one this past April. Still hasn’t really sunk in. I’m still working this gender crap out - in terms of The Cheat, anyway. In terms of who The Cheat dates, I’m all over the lady types. They like my grill; I’ve got a pretty sick grill.”

They like your... front teeth?

“No, my grill. My Weber. Makes good pizza; burns up real nice. If it’s teeth they want, I show ‘em my gold tooth. Wanna see it?”

Please.

“Tough.”

In a group of people, where do you fit? Are you the centre of attention or do you prefer to observe?

“Centre, for sure. My bros the Ortizes all think they’re the head of this popsicle joint, but no - it’s me. Helps that I’ve got skills. Pretty diligent lackey, if you’re looking for that sorta thing. Fake licenses, lockpicks, lighters for arson, fake licenses to make fake licenses, rulebooks to knock rules lawyers unconscious--”

What if I want something more... legal?

“You’re no fun... I make Flash animations with my Mac; get music video commissions from time to time. I can make one for your band, if you guys don’t suck. I also DJ for Cyrus down at his joint on Friday nights. I’ll put you on the guest list if you gimme twenty bucks.”

How good are you at controlling your emotions?

*takes out a switchblade* “What, you implying I can’t?”

Not at all! Sorry, that was - I meant to say, would you say you’re a mature person?

“Depends: what’s mature? You mean do I like R-rated movies or GI Joe reruns?”

No, I mean more how you conduct yourself.

“I was gonna say, no reason you can’t like both. ”

Okay, um. This next one is meant to ask if you’ve ever cheated or been cheated on in a relationship, but - well, you are The Cheat, as you said, so--

“The name’s got nothing to do with that. I chose it cus I help my bros cheat at stuff - sometimes Ramiro, sometimes my main man Ben. Ajax, not so much. Dumpwad.”

So you don’t cheat on women?

“I didn’t say that. I just said it’s not how I got the name... but for what it’s worth, yeah, I can be monogamous. When I wanna be. And if my dates don’t, that’s their business, not mine, right?”

Does that mean you’ve had someone else be with the person you’re interested in before? How did you play it? Were you afraid of stepping on their toes?

*only now putting away the switchblade* “Pssh, Hal didn’t have toes. Or if he did, they were where his brain was. That’s what drove Samantha to me at first: common sense. For me and her, I mean. And she’d make out with me like a bandit if I kept up her soy crisp fix. Didn’t last, though. Sam’s an activist; I'm more of a declaw-ist. Just wouldn’t have worked. Pity - it really stuck in Hal’s craw once it registered.”

What’s your relationship history beyond that?

“Oh, y’know. Ladies. Lots of them. Great looking girls, hot babes...”

The Cheat, we’re going to need, like. Specifics.

“You got a specific. You got Sam. What, you want I should print off a list? Hack into The Cheat’s Ladies database for you?”

Well, no, you don’t have to go that far... let’s simplify it. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

“That’s all? That’s an easy one. I worked with this band Advantage on a promo bit. I thought the lead singer would be a good date, or at least a cool story to tell later? But it turned out, under all the makeup and leopard print, she’s hairier than the shower plug after a long morning. Way too obsessed with tiger sharks for my liking too.” *shivers*

How adorably shallow. And the best date?

“Similar story, actually! The band was Awkward Social Sun this time. Now Stampers? She got what I like. We pigged out on skim milk and gummy bears, watched some ABA basketball. Good times. Only sticking point was, she was closeted at the time for contractual reasons. But you can’t win ‘em all.”

If you meet someone you fancy, like, um... Stampers? How do you ‘graft’ them? Are you boldly affectionate, or shyly admiring?

“I let them take in The Cheat in The Cheat’s natural habitat. If they like what they see, they can claim it. If it’s up to me to make the first move, though, I lay on the charm, fluff my hair, try a one-handed pushup. Even if I don’t pull that last one off, they’re all up ons after that.”

What’s the biggest romantic lesson you’ve ever learned from all this?

“Besides ‘check the contract’? There’s a few - every lady brings a new one. ‘Tight pants don’t accentuate all the subtleties Ramiro says they would.’ ‘No one says ‘twees’ anymore.’ ‘It’s probably not okay that he kicks you so much.’ Stuff like that.”

What would you say is ‘your type on paper’?

“Lined.”

What?

“Lined paper. It’s what I write my animation scripts on.” *snickers*

The Cheeeeeat...

“Okay, fine. Light hair - I like blonde best, but red’ll do in a pinch. Tall, legs like a Yello Dello. Used to loud music, loud fireworks, loud pretty much anything... ...wait. That’s just Samantha again, isn’t it?” *almost too quite to be heard* “Crap, I thought I was over that.”

What does loyalty mean to you?

*surlier for the remainder* “Like I said: I can be loyal if I wanna. I don’t always get it back, but I can be loyal.”

To mates or to dates?

“Yeah.”

Okay. And finally… why are you coming onto Sim Island?

“Same reason everyone else is, probably.”

And what’s that? What do you hope to leave with?

“What I can get. Are we done here? I’ve got stuff to pack, places to be.”

If you insist. See you properly in one post from now, The Cheat. I hope you find what you’re looking for!

“Meh.”

#sjs interview #the cheat

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littleforestfairy · 7 years ago

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Every aesthetic ask :3c

God damn it Shay

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

Yesterday when I was singing a Seventeen song stuck in my head

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Will I ever meet all of my friends in person???

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Uuuhhh I’m not really sure?? I can’t really think of any big accomplishments I’ve made yet

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Laughing so freaking hard at a ridiculous clip from a Seventeen concert

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I guess I would work harder to finish things, put something amazing out into the world to be remembered by

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

1. Become a well known author

2. Meet all my friends in person

3. Go to Japan

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

I’ll do my sister cus I was just talking to her:

She’s incredibly talented at things like knitting and sewing and playing the piano, but it’s sad how much she underestimates her talents because she’s so impatient and wants to already be at a certain level and convinces herself she should be there already with how long she’s been doing it. Her natural personality is pure sarcasm and sass, teasing and poking fun and pointing out dumb questions with sarcastic answers, she has almost no filter, saying what’s on her mind even if it’s probably not the best time to say it, and sometimes she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it because it’s like her default setting. She’s got a hot head sometimes and has a tendency to get easily angered over small things, building up on top of other small things until it’s a big thing she can’t take anymore. She’s also very caring. She’s the oldest and, even though I don’t want her to do it, she has always put others before herself, ensuring that my brother and I were always comforted and taken care of first even when she felt like breaking down. With that she bottles up her emotions too much, convinces herself that her well-being doesn’t need to come first when it comes to my safety. Though I know she’s trying hard to snap out of that mentality, it’s just hard. She can get very excited over the things she loves, not exactly outwardly jumpy or bubbly, but more excited and frustrated rambling for an hour after she’s binged an entire show in 2 days.

I’m gonna stop there cus it’s so long already

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

Yeah, I did!! I have loving parents who always did what they could to ensure we were happy, and siblings close in age (well, one being a twin), so we were able to grow up together and never any distance cus of age or anything

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

Like last week

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

Hmmm I pick my lovely friend Mark because I know he loves space and stars and I think he’d really enjoy just hanging out and stargazing

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

Nooooo, I could never ever do that

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

A few days ago with Yams!! We were talking about kpop !!

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

Uuuuhhhhh I have no idea honestly, that’s too much pressure

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They’re very nice! And very underappreciated! My sister and dad have very dark brown eyes that they look almost black and they’re super cool

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

"When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy." - Griffin McElroy

It was in the last episode of The Stolen Century and it just really resonates with me personally because it is very very true

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

“I Never Get Anything Done and It’s a Surprise This Got Done”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

buy a huge house, buy my parents and my sister their dream cars, go meet up with all my friends, go on a huge vacation with my family to Japan or Germany, or both

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I try to be, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I do like trying to see good in people and find out if they really meant something hurtful. I don’t forgive people who refuse to be sorry though or really hurt me, that’s just too much to ask

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

In a year, you're gonna go through the worst tragedy of your whole life, it's gonna make everything feel like the world is falling apart, but I promise you'll be okay in time, it gets easier and you'll have your family to be beside you. And in a few years, you're gonna meet the bestest friends you've ever had who will become like a second family, and that entire summer when you meet them will be the best summer of your whole life, because you'll spend every day and every night laughing with them and it'll be so freaking amazing.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Definitely pastel!

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

They’re super cool and while I personally don’t want any tattoos and I have no idea when I’ll even pierce my ears, people should be allowed to do whatever they want to their own bodies, they’re great ways of expressing yourself and showing to the world who you are and what’s important to you and what you love.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Nope, just not really my thing.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

iiiii dunno, nothing really comes to my mind at the moment

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

“Why are you listening to me, that’s creepy”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

I’ve been to no concerts!! Except Cheetah Girls when I was like 9 or 10 or something!

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I dunno honestly

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

I do have a desk but I don’t use it rn cus I don’t have a chair. It’s an art desk so my paint and stuff is mostly organized, though there is a bit of a mess that I’ll move whenever I get a chair

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Brush my teeth, get a bottle of water, watch videos until I get sleepy

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

Uuuhhhhh that I read smut fanfics a LOT

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I would dye it cotton candy pink because it’s a freaking super cute color, but it would require bleaching for my hair and I don’t want that

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

I don’t wanna pick just five I wanna pick all my friends and we’ll all go on a road trip and hit all the touristy spots

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

I actually do make wishes when it’s 11:11, but tbh I don’t wanna say anything I do or would wish for, cus you’re not supposed to say wishes or they won’t come true !

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

I didn’t put it together, but my grandma did, and it was a green, white, and pink fairy dress with sheer fabric over it and little flowers on the sheer and it was big on me but it was super cute

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I’ve never been drunk or high !

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Only listen to one song. Because I’ve got too many people important to me and I don’t wanna see just ONE of them for the rest of my life

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

Noooope

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I’ve had short hair before and I didn’t like it, I much much prefer long hair

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Usually it’s just strawberries and creme frappucino, which is. just a menu item so I would trust anyone to order it. But when we have the money, I get a banana chocolate chip frappucino and it’s not really that complicated, so I’m sure anyone could order it

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

My friends and family !!

#ask #i love u shay but why you do this to me #okay-pie

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