#nostramo was hell

[green-square-anon]

@lemon-russ @ms--lobotomy Another advangtage of the "primarch offspring are vulnerable to diseases/injury when young" headcannon https://www.tumblr.com/green-square-anon/769837904030760960/primarch-hybrid-biology is imagine the fluff potential of the likes Dorn or some other stoic primarch freaking the fuck out over their kid being lethagic/sleeping all day because of the flu meanwhile the mother, who you know experienced this shit growing up, is telling them to calm down.

On the other extremely cynical bittersweet end of the spectrum is Konrad Curze having the reasurrance that even if put in his place his child would have never lived the childhood he did on Nostramo because they would have died in infancy. Nostramo might have had preteen street orphans but they were atleast old enough to move around on their own. Not street INFANTS or toddlers.

(By the way if you want to truely appricate how fucked up Konrad Curzes childhood was, imagine that naked, likely visibly emaciated, toddler walking the streets of Nostramo. Alone.)

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

Konrad is indeed a big nudist.... Mainly because he doesn't understand nudity taboos, hell I don't think he even really wore clothes growing up on Nostramo, just what ever rags or skins worked.

So imagine being a poor remembermancer, you are assigned to the most pants shittingly scary Legion of them all, you are strolling/sneaking along the ship and bamn, Konrad walks around the corner with it all flopping out.

Every time Konrad gets mentioned I am reminded that the man isn't just a clown, he's a goddamn circus.

[brox-not-a-badger]

I know I’m supposed to be working on my fanfics but I made a ranking based on how likely the primarchs are to drown if thrown in a lake

I did this totally for fun, mostly because I was bored and had nothing better to do. (1 is most likely to drown, 18 is least likely to drown)

1. Sanguinius

big wings, probably not waterproof

2. Lorgar Aurelian

ehhh raised on a desert-esq planet, probably never learned

3. Perterabo

probably would sink like a damn stone if thrown off a dock

4. Konrad Curze

might flail a little bit will ultimately probably just give up, did absolutely no prior swimming on Nostramo

5. Magnus the Red

also raised on a desert world, probably sucks at swimming,

6. Angron

there is no way in high hell that this man can swim, he’d maybe give a little effort before he snaps and starts punching the water

7. Mortarion

There is no way that this man can swim, maybe like a couple of moments above water before just awkwardly struggling and sinking

8. Vulkan

might put up a good few strokes but most likely never learned due to Nocturne being Nocturne

9. Corvus Corax

Ravens absolutely can not swim and this emo probably can’t either due to lack of experience.

10. Leman Russ

Raised on a frozen wasteland of a planet, probably didn’t do a lot of swimming in his free time but at the least will do an awkward doggy-paddle back to shore like the contemptible dog he is.

11. Roboute Guilliman

For sure has done some swimming on McCragge, probably.

12. Horus Lupercal

Big E probably took enough time to at least teach him not to fucking drown and die at the least, probably had him take swim lessons.

13. Rogal Dorn

If I had to guess I’d say he probably can swim, at least better than Perturabo.

14. Lion’el Johnson

If I know anything about this man it’s that he can do a good job at staying above water and not under it.

15. Jaghatai Khan

Most likely hasn’t spent time swimming too much but does know how too for sure

16. Alpharius + Omegon

Alpharius and Omegon revolve their whole legion around a beast called the Hydra. I’m fairly sure there’s an obvious answer here.

17. Fulgrim

Snakes swim pretty well, simple as. All jokes aside, Fulgrim seems like the type to actually enjoy swimming in his free time.

18. Ferrus Manus

Can canonically swim and can swim VERY WELL. I mean, the guy swam to the bottom of an OCEAN for fuck’s sake.

[theironclooch]

I find it really interesting that both of the prescient primarchs killed themselves tbh.

When Sanguinius and Konrad saw their own deaths they both believed that nothing could change their fates. And while they both had drastically different attitudes about it, they were both wrong, funnily enough.

When it comes to seeing the future in 40K, the end result is always muddled and mutable. In the Traitors Tarot, a short story in both the 9th and 10th csm codexes, the leader of a chaos warband goes to a witch to tell him his fortune; to which she drones on and on about several different futures that are all equally likely and unlikely to happen. The head of Kairos Fateweaver that sees the future continues to madly mumble to itself about events that are yet to come. Hell the Eldar’s entire shtick is combing through several futures to find an ideal outcome. The fracturing of the future even happened to Konrad Curze in his own primarch book.

While the Night Haunter confronted a young rapist two notable futures flashed before him, one where he nurtures the boy into becoming a guiding figure for Nostramo, and one where the boy stabs Konrad and gets away. Neither of these things happen as the Night Haunter eats him anyway and while gnawing on his femur, he notices that the knife the boy would have used to stab him was no where near the position it would need to be to be used.

Now Konrad very easily could’ve killed the assassin that came for him, but that would be proving himself wrong; and we can’t have that, can we? Besides death is nothing compared to vindication.

Sanguinius though is surprisingly simple. He could’ve just…not have gotten on board the Vengeful Spirit. Simple as that. But at the same time he had to, because that’s just the kind of person he is.

And now we Segway into the conclusion that KONRAD CURZE AND SANGUINIUS ARE JUST THOSE GUYS. KONRAD MADE MACRAGGE A LIVING HELL. BY HIMSELF. HE FOUGHT THE LION AND GUILLIMAN AT THE SAME TIME AND WAS HOLDING HIS OWN!!!SANGUINIUS CONTINUED TO THRUST HIMSELF INTO CONTINUOUSLY MORE DANGEROUS SITUATIONS BECAUSE OF “Fuck it we ball” ENERGY. LIKE HE FOUGHT AND KILLED KA’BHANDA AND ANGRON WITH LIKE A 30 SECOND BREAK IN BETWEEN EACH FIGHT. THATS NOT EVEN MENTIONING THE TITANS HE TROUNCED AT ETERNITY GATE. God damn. This pair of absolute madmen very well could’ve died at any point during their shenanigans, and they both only died when they decided to.

Fuck.

[kylekatarnandadmiralthrawn]

stop calling curze a hypocrite

curze hating his sons? NON hypocritical, he genuinely believed his philosophy and followed it, which his sons were not. we see him taking actions against this, and his secret sadism doesnt change this.

curze hating his sons? part 2 late curze edition? NON hypocritical. his sons were monsters and he hated them for it, he was a monster and he hated himself for it. hell he died for it!

curze hating chaos? NON hypocritical. being tainted by chaos when youre chilling with the traitor crew is unavoidable, and not the same as worshipping/falling to/even liking chaos.

curze blowing up nostramo? NON hypocritical. nostramo like... deserved it... and like... okay think of how many unnessecary deaths he prevented in the long run, like the long long run, like 10,000 years down the line. it probably balanced out by now.

curze wearing a feather cloak? NON hypocritical. he hated corax for non-style reasons and curze wore it better anyway.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Death? Not Today F*ck You!

Next

Author's Note: Karlsor's debut in Mermay and Poor Unfortante souls.

Warnings: Karlsor swears a lot, some hints of violence. Also NIGHT LORD. Let me know if I need to add more

Summary: Karlsor lands on Terra and finds a Budding Blight Garden, not that he knows what that is. And makes the decision to not go near it.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @kit-williams, @sleepyfan-blog, @whorety-k

Tagged Again: @sleepyfan-blog and @whorety-k

Karlsor is a Proud Night Lord, and one of the lucky, or unlucky bastards with enough Psyker abilities that were noticed early enough that he was dragged into training by the Libarius before the Heresy. He'd barely finished his training as a Librarian, their training exacting, harsh, demanded and with each step forward, sacrifice of blood, pain, sweat, tears, and mental health (whatever the fuck that is) was demanded of him. He's no coward, never has been, to have survived the Hell that is Nostramo, and to have been...

Either Lucky or Unlucky enough to have been grabbed by the Night Lords to be flung into a cage with a bunch of other boys around his age, some older, some younger, and then dragged into the Hell that was being an Aspirant of the Night Lords. He had never been the kindest of souls, being born and growing, surviving the fucked up hell that is Nostramo killed the weak, and beat the kindness and every good thing out of a person, until just the pure, raw, naked desire and need for Survival was all that was thought of.

Even when Lord of the Eigth Legion and the Imperium had fully taken over Nostramo, things have still been shit. There was just more technology and shit for the people to fight over. At least that's what he'd heard from the old folks who's complain and hiss about things. Fighting against the uppity Ultramarines as Father had decided to attack the holier-than-thou Primarch of the 13th legion had been a lot of fun, waking up after what had felt like had been a killing blow had been both pleasantly and unpleasantly surprise.

Pleasant, because he still is alive, unpleasant because his ribs really fucking hurt and he's in agony and likely in a cell with uppity Ultramarines ready with snide words and smug bastard-y words to lord over his failure. His tail lashes out in rage as he looks around frowning. Where the fuck his he? He's not on McCragge. Oh fuck shit. As he's dying he's getting a vision. Or something. Goody. Or he's hallucinating a Nicer Thing as he dies? What the fuck is this shit. He slowly starts moving, activating his ability to swim through the air, which is infinitely safer than trying to crawl back to the waters. Seriously.

Which fucking planet is he on? This is planet has pollution, he can smell it, but it's not the worst planet he's been on. It's almost pretty, but pretty things often hide something worse underneath. Finding the ocean took several hours of swimming through the air. At least there's only one sun in the sky, even if the sunlight is way to fucking bright in his opinion. He prefers the darkness and shadows, where the light doesn't burn his skin and eyes. Even with being an Astartes with a tougher body, he burns like a whore in church after a few minutes in the sun.

Which is going to be so delightful to feel once he's back in the water. At least he's alive to recover from his injuries and the sun trying to fuck him over more. He is really glad to get into the ocean waters, which is salinized and he almost bites through his tongue trying not to scream as his skin protests being in the ocean while being sunburnt enough that his regenerative abilities has yet to heal it and he's entirely red from where his armor doesn't protect his scales.

He swims in the ocean, healing and trying to hunt for something to eat, easily hunting a school of fish and eating the wriggling creatures whole. He has some nutri-paste but he needs to supplement it with organic matter, which is a damned pain. He also needs to figure out where the fuck he is and where some of his brothers are, as much as they are a pain in his ass and are more than half likely to try to murder him, either through straight up stabbing him or being more circumspect about it.

Psykers are viewed as being super unstable and mistrusted in the legion. Honestly, he'd commented before that it's like calling water wet, they are all unstable, lunatic murderers. The younger members of his legion are... not kinder, no one is ever really kind in the Eighth legion, but are more stupid, and ignorant, since they are younger and haven't been through as much fucked up shit as the older ones have. Getting older can be hard, especially with how much fighting they do, against the enemies of the Emperium, and at times, each other.

Still, he's glad that he's alive, in general, and its better than not being alive. That damned Ultramarine only nearly killed him. Which reminds him, he's going to find that Ultramarine and make him suffer for his failure. He hears something and slowly starts swim-stalking and he carefully stalks whatever is making noise and tilts his head from one side to another. That is the ugliest and weirdest looking reef system that Karlsor has ever seen in his life. It looks really sick and fucked up.

And there is something about it that screams WRONG at his Psyker senses. He hears demented echoing giggling. Which is. Fucking Fantastic. He's not going anywhere near the fucked up reef system, it looks cursed as fuck. While he's got an Astartes Immune system, he's not going to tempt whatever the fuck is going on with that to go after him. He's no Apothecary or specialist in Environments, but he knows that is Super Fucked and Warp-craft went into fucking it up and continuing to fuck it up. So yeah, as a trained Psyker and since no one has asked for his help, either way, and he doesn't want to go near it any way, he's going avoid that creepy ass dying reef and go somewhere hopefully a lot healthier. It's a shame, the biodiversity of the oceans of this primitive planet are almost beautiful and he's totally not stared at the plethora of vibrant colored fish swim past him in schools of hundreds.

[castellankurze]

Realized something that I had unconsciously glossed over numerous times before. Lore for the Night Lords has them destroy Nostramo, correct? Fleet parks in orbit, aims at the weak spot, and shoots until it comes apart. We read it a bunch. But it hit me: This was in the Great Crusade era. So before Astartes fleets would be split apart. Somehow, Curze had a fleet - human and all - that would indulge to an order to destroy a compliant world. A compliant Legion homeworld.

It's always fun to look back at some of the early bits of Warhammer 40k lore and remember how haphazardly some of it was written.

Like, to stay with the Night Lords for a minute, think about Curze being killed by a Callidus assassin. Sure, he let it happen, but...who would even send a Callidus after a primarch? Like, what do you expect here? You really think your shapeshifting ninja weeaboo has the proverbial snowball's chance in Hell against one of the God-Emperor's own boys?

Similarly, there's artifacts like how Alpharius attacked Horus' legion with a space fleet that's never mentioned again in his origin story. Or how Angron's story was just a mess that didn't even come up with a name for his homeworld.

I do give some props to the writers at Black Library and Forge World for doing their best to thread a lot of the needles that the early passes of the Heresy set up for them, despite also making a lot of decisions that I didn't agree with.

[ladynighthaunter]

Angela takes Hope to the training pits, where Night Lords spar against each other or servitors. Brutal gang fighting tactics acted out in the pits as live blades are used. "This not to much for ya?" Angela asks.

Hope claps and cheers as she watches the fighting. Blood, sweat and teeth staining the sands of the training pits as each combatant tries to slice up the other.

Angela sits down, sitting Hope next to her, the Primarchs child enraptured by the sight before her, Apocatheries walking between the pits, ready to aid if needed with blood transfusions and stapling closed gaping wounds.

Angela leans back in her seat, watching as some of her talon fight, the ring of blade on blade, the solid thump of flesh against flesh.... Fatalities where not unheard of, talons deciding to keep gang rivalries from long dead Nostramo alive even now.

There was the sound of foot steps as Dion arrived, his flame scared face pulling into a grin. "Lucky you, babysitting the princess."

Hope looks wide eyed, she is princess?

Angela snorts. "Found her wandering the fortress monestary, so decide to take care of her rather than hear the Primarch raging through the place looking for her."

He nods and sits down, Hope looking at his burn scars in fascination. "So, we are either hunting snakes or listening to the war on Kaldor Secundus.... Those cog boys putting up a hell of a fight."

Angela sighs. "And costing a lot of lives, those tin heads have Knights and titans on their side, bloody work... But if we want that forge world, we need to dig them out."

[shiyorin]

I just want to know what mommy Kether will say about primarchs, and what primarchs will say about Kether!!! 🙏

Bruh, you found my oc fics? Right?

But if you curious, then here we are.

Lion El'Johnson: Edgy loner, very original. Try socializing sometime.

Fulgrim: For one so obsessed with perfection and beauty, you sure make ugly decisions.

Perturabo: All that angst and bitterness will give you wrinkles. Oh wait...

Jaghatai Khan: Gotta go fast! Wise enough to stay out of your brother's squabbles.

Leman Russ: You'd be the lovable yet stupid sidekick in any story. Woof woof.

Rogal Dorn: Rules were meant to be followed, not taken so literally. Lighten up!

Konrad Curze: Creepy goth freak hiding behind "justice." Get some sunshine!

Sanguinius: Looks like an angel but hides devil horns under that halo of hair.

Ferrus Manus: Ah yes, hands man, very creative name. I bet you have awesome handshake skills.

Angron: All that rage will give you an aneurysm. Oh wait...

Roboute Guilliman: Mister Perfect falls for every propaganda leaflet. So gullible!

Mortarion: All that gloom and bitterness will spread like a plague. Oh wait...

Magnus: Your huge ego has blinded you to common sense. Literally!

Horus Lupercal: Traitor, hope you enjoy the hell you deserve.

Lorgar Aurelian: Spend your entire life searching for the right god to tell you what to think. Why am I not surprised.

Vulkan: Too nice for your own good. The universe will take advantage.

Corvus Corax: Your excuses for hiding in your room are getting old. Get a life!

Alpharius/Omegon: Who are you again? Doesn't matter, you're irrelevant.

Malcador: I thought you raised me better.

The Emperor: The absentee dad who somehow spawned this bunch.

***

Lion El'Jonson: Even the Dark Angels have more warmth.

Fulgrim: Beauty is wasted on her.

Perturabo: Studies philosophy just to have something to criticize.

Jaghatai Khan: When life gives her knives, she stabs life.

Leman Russ: The only thing sharper than her tongue is her combat blade.

Rogal Dorn: Always seeks to upset the order and tranquility I establish.

Konrad Curze: Her heart is blacker than a night on Nostramo.

Sanguinius: Beauty often hides a cruel heart.

Ferrus Manus: My hands build, hers only destroy.

Angron: Another kindred rebel, who chose a different path.

Roboute Guilliman: Criticizes everything, yet never offers a better solution.

Mortarion: Sneers so often it's become a permanent facial expression.

Magnus: Acts like she's better than everyone when she's just as flawed.

Horus Lupercal: Takes joy in needling others just to make herself feel superior.

Lorgar Aurelian: Seeks meaning and purpose, yet denies the truth right before her eyes.

Vulkan: Could lighten up a little? Life's too short to be so grim.

Corvus Corax: Flits in the shadows laughing at others' misfortune.

Alpharius: The book she's writing is titled '1001 Ways to Annoy People.

Omegon: I told you, I'm Alpharius.

Malcador: I thought I raised you better.

The Emperor: I thought Malcador raised you better.

[wxnheart]

Horrifying idea but Konrad finding his Perpetual Darling while he was still terrorizing Nostramo before the emperor came along and first finds her when she had just come back from another death they went through.

Some that can die yet always comes back from that will definitely interest him.

My first response was to say 'run like hell, Perpetual Darling' but then another idea came to mind.

Now hear me out, anon, what if said Darling somehow, some way, and in some manner bonded with Vulkan over their nature as Perpetuals and that pissed Konrad off to no end?

And that would partly explain why he keeps fucking with the poor guy.

[mxchineandnerve]

The Night Haunter tears the head and spine from a Brute's carcass with his bare hands. He holds it out to John, waiting for him to take it. The alien's glassy eyes stare blankly back at the Spartan, it's hideous purple tongue lolling out of a slack jaw . Blood and viscera drip onto the ground.

"A trophy for your regalia of fear. A warning. A reminder of what awaits your enemies."

( @ave-dominus-nostramos )

"That won't be necessary." John tells his bizarre giant companion. Master Chief Petty Officer John-117 was not a savage. He did not need grizzly trophies adorning his armor to be a symbol of fear to the Covenant. They were already terrified of him. They hated and despised him, naming him "demon" as though he was a creature from the depths of hell come to suck out their souls. Besides, wearing the heads of his alien victims was more the territory of the species whose head the Night Haunter held out to him. John was no Jiralhanae; he was above those great hairy slobbering Brutes.

[canadianno]

[waning, no relation with this blog as a whole]

Mortarion

"Ended were you started"

...

Between all of the Primachs, in all of the planets, in all of the sistems, in all of the dimensions, Mortarion ended in the worst one planet imaginable, even worse than Nuceria (Angron's planet) or even Nostramos (Konrad Curze's home)

Barbatos was without doubt the worst place of the known galaxy 'til the moment, so much in fact that when The Emperor arrived to the planet and eventually met his son, he in person made sure that Barbatos could be erased out of all Imperial data, the horrors of Barbatos could not be used, they could not be learned and they could not be let known, only the Emperor and Mortarion themselfs known what happened in this place with detail

Not EVEN us as spectators know what kind of things happen in this place, what i am gonna count you here is recopilation of ilost books that was gave by a crazy man that presumably lived in this hell and saw the born of this hell

...

Back to the final Golden/Dark Age of Technology humanity was expanding through the stars at historical speeds, that was when a group of expeditionary investigation first entered with contact with Barbatos and meet its horrors

Leftovers of monsters so ancient its creation was back to War in the Sky or even beyond, they were just ancient as the Old Ones, quickly could be the demise of the group when the discovered what habited the planet, not even technology of the golden age could save them from that hell but the planet or its horrors didn't finish its work with humanity

Dragging and destroying its technology "they" leaved alive a few humans, they could leave generations come and past just for their entertainment, the "Oh so mighty" humans became its lab pets just for to save them from their boredom

This abominable race of unimaginable horrors could be know as the Death lords or the Necron lords (not to be confused to the necrons), beings that were just or more ancient as the Old Ones, they have evolved in a twisted way, they are like the eldars, first they seeked satisfaction and whatever happened after thats what the Death lords were

Barbatos was the home planet of the Death lords being that conquered death and used souls as snacks, they didn't move on to another planets, they just stayed there forever, why could the move to begin with? they were the makers and everything else nothing

PART 1

-alz, i will fragment Mortarion's story into pieces cuz its too large

-alz, 12/18

Imagine the name of the worst planet ever being shared with a silly little centipede miniboss from a sheep game

[athenafire]

"WHO THE HELL BLEW UP NOSTRAMO?!" That was a genuine reaction of shock. Meredith was genuinely out of the loop on that one.

Garth, stunned by how loud his charge yelled, took a step back from her. "My lady please, your blood press--"

"Garth, shut up! I don't have blood pressure issues, and we wouldn't be in this situation if you didn't muck things up!" She grabbed her skull, throwing her hat to the ground in anger. Patchy blonde hair complimented those creepy ghost blue eyes. "If you didn't kill Pontevallis, and the rest of the Horses, we could still be out there helping people, rather than trying to sneak back into my own place like a rat!!"

The more angry she became, the thicker the air grew with a sticky, tar-like charge to it.

“Nostramo has blown up. Do not lie to my face blatantly again.” He says with an upset tone. “And saint? Don’t get me started on the cult.”

[tagedeszorns]

So, hear me out: Sanguinius and Fulgrim having an ongoing competition for who's the prettiest Primarch. It only ends when the Heresy starts. Fulgrim has decided he one, obviously.

Hello Anon, thank you for your question! 😀

Well, Sanguinius may be more angelic (literally), but Fulgrim always was and will be the more captivating one. He's eloquent, driven, a born duelist with words and swords and he will give a lot but ask everything in return.

So - it's like comparing a cute munchkin-kitten and a serval. (also: the serval is much, much more likely to wreck your home in an instant)

Bonus-round: Ranking of worst space-dads!

Angron (if you have to ask why, you are confusing Angron with someone else)

Perturabo (the decimation was an all-time low)

Konrad Curze (yeah, culling of Nostramo was like he gave himself a vasectomy with a rusty steak-knife. Plus all-around shittyness towards his equally shitty offspring. I love Night Lords)

The Emperor (just look at his parenting skills. Like ... Monarchia? Ullanor? Magnus?)

Fulgrim (for corrupting his sons to hell and back and then leaving them on a gods-forsaken croneworld to die. Or not. He didn't care, because he already was off fulfilling his dream of becoming a snakey fairy-princess)

[divinituscaptivus]

🌯 but the blankets was made from human leather ( @ave-dominus-nostramos )

"WHAT IN FOUR HELLS IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

[horizonboundtrainer]

Hi guys I'm not dead yet. I'm just feeling really out of it due to my horrible war criminal at @ave-dominus-nostramos eating up my muse rn. I'll get to those replies eventually when my brain finally decides to cooperate.

So rn I owe replies for:

@britishpokeparty

@fireplxdge

@a-hell-of-a-lot-of-muses

@melemeleguardian

+1 old song meme