#norway is actually a snake

[tiredfox64]

Omg I just read the pipsqueak story, plzzz can I suggest g/t story's where the reader is shrunken down maybe with the other lin kuei bros or the farmer boys or even liu kang xxx. You can decide the prompt. But seriously. That was one of the best g/t stories I've ever read in my life😭❤️❤️🫂 📚. Thank you so much for writing it.

Hats Off to You

Yip notes: The best?!?! Nooooo, it couldn’t possibly be :3. As a furry I think I will always be weary of g/t and I won’t elaborate on that point.

Pairings: Raiden x Gn reader x Kung Lao

Warnings‼️: Oh dammit I lost you in my LPS bin

Don’t say Liu Kang never warned you three about Shang Tsung. He a tricky and manipulative snake that will do anything to prevent getting captured. It was hard enough getting into Earthrealm, he’s not gonna let you capture him that easily. Treating him like a fool, how dare you!

Liu Kang immediately sent you, Raiden, and Kung Lao out when he detected the sorcerer made his way to Earthrealm. He had no clue what he wanted or what he was here for but he was not gonna wait to see. You and Kung Lao were running in, guns a blazing from the get-go. Raiden was, of course, the responsible one and wanted to catch Shang Tsung off guard. It’s a little hard to do that when Kung Lao throws his hat the moment he saw Shang Tsung’s hair flowing in the wind. It didn’t stick the landing but it did stick to a tree trunk. The poor squirrel inside the trunk, hibernation came early for it.

You three surrounded the sorcerer. His head snapped around, looking for a way to escape. It would not be easy and he’d have to unfortunately use his resources. Whether he killed someone or merely distracted you all didn’t matter to him. He just needed to get out.

Thanks to your bravery and stupidity, you were the first to lunge at him. He turned around at that moment and saw you were a few feet away with your hands held out to tackle him. To your surprise, you saw him lift up his hand and in it was a glass bottle. The cork popped off with ease and he splashed you with the contents of the bottle. He was like a priest with holy water but instead of blessing you he was cursing you with something unknown.

The liquid was thick. It was a headache inducing neon blue. It felt like slime was poured over your head and dripped down the front of your body. It bubbled quickly like thick soup that was getting too hot. Steam emitted from the liquid and grew thicker around you.

What was gonna happen to you? Would you melt into a puddle of your own flesh and blood? Would some fiendish beast grow out of you?

You heard Raiden and Kung Lao yell your name in a panic. They believed you were a goner, you were a poor soul that was met with a terrible fate. Shang Tsung cackled at the display of fear that was present in all of you. You were desperately trying to wipe the liquid off but it only stuck to you more. The steam grew too thick and you felt something change about you. The change, however, wasn’t painful. It was almost quieting as the world around you grew bigger. No, actually it didn’t. The world was normal, you were getting smaller.

The steam cleared and they all saw you. You looked fine except for the fact that you were the size of a Norway rat. Raiden and Kung Lao stared with their mouths open. Shang Tsung narrowed his eyes due to annoyance and to also get a better look at you.

“What!?” He shouted angrily before looking at the bottle.

He looked at the label and saw that this was not a potion that was in anyway harmful. This potion was more built for distractions if anything. Why did he even make such a stupid potion?!

The sound of Shang Tsung’s anger broke the men’s trance and they leaped into action. Raiden quickly ran over to you, kneeling down to scoop you into his hands. Kung Lao launched his razor-brimmed hat at Shang Tsung and it landed. It grazed his arm, making him scream in pain and drop the glass bottle. The hat turned around and made its way back to Shang Tsung in another attempt to cut him. He just narrowly dodged and it flew back into Kung Lao’s hand. He went to throw it again but Shang Tsung used his sorcerer magic to teleport away from the attack. He could be anywhere at that point but that wasn’t their concern. Their concern was you.

“By the elder gods, are you okay? Are you in any pain?” Raiden softly tilted you around on his hand to check for any damages.

You stared down at your tiny hands while looking at Raiden’s fingers that curled up again you. This felt…strange to say the least. You looked at the rest of your body to see if there were any injuries. There were none to see and none to be felt.

“I think I’m fine. But I’m clearly not myself.”

“Hey,” Kung Lao yelled for Raiden’s attention, “He dropped the bottle.”

He leaned down and grabbed the bottle and cork to close it again. There was some liquid still left in the bottle, maybe someone could find a reverse for this potion. An antidote of sorts.

Raiden walked over to him while looking around the area. He let out a sigh of disappointment not because of you but because he couldn’t see Shang Tsung.

“He got away, there is nothing we can do if we don’t know where he is.”

“But Raiden, he couldn’t have gone far. Maybe we can run around and—“

“We can’t focus on that when he shrunk one of our companions. Think of the other potions he could have on hand.”

Kung Lao sighed before looking down at you in the palm of Raiden’s hands. There was a look of pity in his eyes. It shouldn’t have happened. If only he had better aim he could’ve taken Shang Tsung down before you were affected. But there was no point mopping about. Raiden was right. It might be best to go back to the Wu Shi and see if there is anything Liu Kang could do.

“Alright, we should go back and tell Lord Liu Kang what happened. But you might want to put them somewhere other than your hands. You know, with the amulet and stuff.”

Oh, that’s right, Raiden was holding onto his amulet. Probably won’t do you good if you are electrocuted by accident on top of being small. How’d you even miss the large glowing thing?

Raiden looked everywhere on his body for a place to put you but he had no pockets. He would’ve ask Kung Lao to carry you but what if he needed to use his hands to throw his hat? Both the men thought long and hard on how to get back without you possibly getting hurt. Kung Lao snapped his fingers like he had the greatest idea ever.

“Ratatouille!” He yelled.

“No, Kung Lao, no,” Raiden whined, “Why are you thinking about food right now?”

“The movie! Remember the movie that Johnny forced us to watch with the silly rat that cooked.”

The realization hit Raiden and he understood what Kung Lao was suggesting. He looked down at you, waiting to see your reaction. You just stared in some random direction because you were thinking about the fact that they saw you as a rat.

Ah but a rat that can cook, let’s keep that in mind.

“Fine. Put me on your head.” You gave him the go ahead.

Raiden slipped off his straw hat and placed you on top of his head. You hook your hands through the strands of shiny black hair that he neatly had in a bun. He had Kung Lao help him with putting it back on as to not accidentally knock you off. You were covered by his hat, light and air still seeping through the material. It was quite comfortable actually. You could get used to it.

“Are you okay up there?” Raiden asked softly. You gave a light tug that shocked a nerve of his.

“Understood. Let’s get back to the Shaolin for some guidance.”

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

The Shaolin could not provide any help. Outworld magic is not their business. This would be a job for Liu Kang except he wasn’t in.

You may have lost Shang Tsung but Liu Kang found him soon after. Shang Tsung teleported to the wrong place at the wrong time and was now being hunted down by Lord Liu Kang. He will show no mercy.

You’re forced to wait for Liu Kang to return to have a possible chance of returning to normal. Maybe he can reverse what happened to you or even force Shang Tsung to find a solution. Something, anything would be useful. Oh well, looks like you’ll be stuck as a pipsqueak with two giant bodyguards. Make the most of your time.

Raiden took off his straw hat to let you out finally. Kung Lao picked you up gently and by gently that means he pinched the back of your neck, making you feel paralyzed until he put you in the palm of his hand.

“What do we do now?” He asked Raiden.

“There is nothing we can do. We just have to wait and make sure they stay safe.” He replied while rubbing your cheek with his knuckle.

He wasn’t really thinking about it. It’s just his instincts to do that to any small creature that is near him. And yes, he knows you’re not a creature you are human just like him. But you’re so small how can he not rub those cheeks as you pout about the situation. You can’t say it didn’t feel good to you. His knuckle would occasionally rub more than your cheek like behind your ear and the side of your head. It hit the right spots that could make you feel like you were on ecstasy while also getting sleepy. He left you lying in Kung Lao’s hand all euphoric as he kept rubbing the side of your face. You clearly liked it so he kept going.

You should’ve seen Raiden’s face. He was pointing you out to Kung Lao like you weren’t in his hands. He was pointing you out like you were the most adorable being ever with the way you accepted his pets. Kung Lao stared back at him with a look that screamed “are you being serious?” Look who’s talking.

“You don’t need to patronize them by treating them like a pet.”

“I’m not doing that. What makes you say that?”

“Oh yes you are. You’re petting them like they are a new born kitten. They’re fine.”

“I know they’re fine and I’m not treating them like a pet. They clearly like it.” Raiden pulled his finger away from you to your dismay.

The two bickered about how you should be treated like they what you want. You were jumping on Kung Lao’s hand trying to get Raiden to come pet you again. You didn’t reach that peak where a shiver runs down your spine. What’s the point of being petted like that if you don’t get to the point your brain is mush?

“Don’t I have a say in how I should be treated?!” You yelled, but no one would hear. Story of your life.

You just sat in Kung Lao’s hand with your arms crossed and pure anger in your eyes. You tried to coerce him into petting you by rubbing your face on his thumb. The only thing that you got was his thumb rubbing the top of your head and making you dizzy from the circular motion. Ah forget it, let them argue it out.

Growwwwwwlllllll

A low rumbling was heard by all of you. A growl that begged for food. We all know who could possibly be hungry.

Kung Lao tried to pin it off on you by pointing at you but Raiden smacked his hand away. Ain’t no way your small body made such a loud statement. He let out a sigh before placing his hands on his hips.

“That’s something we can do. We can get some food. Shall we visit Madam Bo?” Raiden suggested.

“Is that even a question?”

Raiden smiled and tried to take you from Kung Lao’s hands but he pulled away. He stared at Raiden like he was out of his mind trying to take you away.

“You got to carry them back it’s my turn now.” He placed you on top of his hat where you had to cling to the dark brown straw straps of it. Guess you’re riding this ride now.

“Weren’t you just arguing with me about treating them like a pet and not a human? You didn’t even let them have a say on who they go with!”

“This is to make it fair since you brought them back and I get to bring them to Madam Bo’s. It evens it out.”

“What are you talking about, evening what out?!”

The monks came around to shush them for being so loud, all that arguing and what not. This is a monastery, have some respect.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Madam Bo was quite shocked that you lost some pounds…and height…you lost a lot. Raiden and Kung Lao had to explain that it was a freak accident and it was in no way their fault. They didn’t want her to smack them thinking it was all their fault.

She was quick to seat you all, you having to sit right on the table. With the amount of food Kung Lao ordered there was no point in having you or Raiden say your orders. He basically ordered for you. And damn near ate your order if Raiden didn’t stop him.

Every bit of food that Kung Lao gave you was too big. A slice of beef would’ve choked you if you tried to take it in. Raiden had to be the one to cut them into smaller pieces for you to eat. It was still a struggle no matter what. Too much meat!

Maybe balance it with some vegetables—KNOCK IT OFF KUNG LAO THAT CARROT IS TOO BIG. A bean sprout is a better option for you. You did look silly chewing on the whole thing. You were like a bunny that was given a long dandelion stem and didn’t stop munching till you got to the end. Raiden had to hold himself back from laughing. Kung Lao did let out a chuckle which resulted in him choking a little.

Ah but the grand entree that took you out was that one soup dumpling. Raiden poked a hole through for you to slurp the broth. It was a constant pattern of blowing on it, slurping, blowing, slurping, feeling the broth flow down your throat, blowing again. It was so good and you managed to drink all the broth but the dumpling itself…no. Yeah, any more food and you’d feel like your belly would combust.

You were left with a satisfied smile on your face as you laid on Kung Lao’s chest. He had that same satisfied look on his face before he burped. It almost scared you off with how loud it was. But what a silly sight for Raiden, watching you both pat your bellies. Maybe having you be small isn’t so bad, it makes things cuter.

You know what isn’t cute? The bill. Madam Bo slammed it down on the table and waited to see who would pay. Uh it clearly wouldn’t be you, you left your wallet behind silly! So it’s up to the men to figure it out.

“Well since I paid last time I think it’s your turn-“ Raiden paused when he saw Kung Lao already getting up from his seat while placing you on his hat, “Hey! Where are you going?”

“I paid the last time we were here.”

“No, you didn’t. Johnny paid for us.”

“That’s not what I remember…”

Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be. Kung Lao gonna twist this situation to get his way. Well Raiden won’t let that slide and unfortunately you are in the middle of this situation.

“I am not paying for all of this.”

“If that’s how it’s gonna be then we might as well handle this man to man.”

Before you could even object to anybody starting a fight in the tea house, Kung Lao already got a grip on his hat. He flung it right at Raiden while he grabbed his amulet. As that hat spun past Raiden, it occurred to them both that you were still on his hat. When did they remember? WHEN YOUR SCREAMS COULD BE HEARD AS YOU PASSED RAIDEN’S HEAD.

The hat luckily circled back before hitting anything. Raiden ducked and Kung Lao quickly caught it with both hands. You were left disheveled and shaking with your hands gripping any part of the hat. You had a death grip on it to make sure death didn’t grip you.

“I’m sorry! That wasn’t intentional at all!” Kung Lao apologized profusely, checking to see if you were hurt physically. You were definitely scarred mentally.

Madam Bo’s voice could be heard as she yelled at the two for causing such trouble. She smack them on the back of their head before making them pay the bill. They BOTH had to pay.

She had to get you this tiny cup of ginger tea to settle your stomach after that ride that you never consented to. The world was still spinning and she had to spoon feed the tea to you while Kung Lao rubbed your back with two fingers.

“I feel sorry for you, having to deal with these thick headed fools,” she was really pitying you, “Are you feeling any better?”

“Bleh”

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

When you guys went back to the Wu Shi you were ecstatic to find Lord Liu Kang back. Maybe now you could get answers on how to get back to normal. He even had Shang Tsung captured so maybe he can force him to do something.

Liu Kang stared at you with his glowing eyes. He’s glad you weren’t dead but this was unexpected nonetheless. He really did want to help you…but even his godly powers couldn’t figure this out. Look, it’s hard, don’t get mad at him. The next option was to force Shang Tsung to make an antidote which he never does. Having him even agree to that would be a huge hassle. You will unfortunately stay small for a long time. Get used to it, Raiden and Kung Lao already have.

The moment Liu Kang even said they would have to watch over you, Raiden’s eyes sparkled. That might’ve been actual electricity in his eyes but whatever. He’s more than happy to have you stay this way. It makes it easier for him to squish you against his face and nuzzle you. Whoops, it’s super effective, now you’re paralyzed until he lets you go.

Kung Lao will have to find a better place to put you. You will NEVER go back on his hat again.

Yap notes: I’m weirdly inclined to do g/t fanfic when I’m feeling bad in some way. When I started it my throat was hurting a lot cause of smoke in the air. My throat still be hurting so it must be a curse of some kind ;-; oh well. I hopefully will be getting a Hanzo fanfic done soon cause obviously smoke in the air, lots of fires in my state. Might as well make it comedic to cope. Adiós!

[toomanythoughts2]

You remember how they had a documentary about Pickles life in Snakes N' Barrels? Do you think they have other documentaries about the others?

I think Skwisgaar would have both cameos in other band documentaries and also his own documentaries about his life, starting in Sweden and ending in Dethklok. Nathan would have his own documentaries about the creation and development of Dethklok as his band. Nathan's documentaries would be the most in-depth about the band itself and not just one member. Murderface would absolutely have a documentary about being the only slap-cock bassist in the world.

However, I also wonder about Toki.

Toki's early life is perfect for true crime documentaries that push the limits of being too far. Whereas everyone else's documentaries had their input in the documentary, because Toki's documentary would be treated as a true crime case, they didn't actually need him.

Which makes me wonder if Dethklok and Charles would be blindsided by a documentary detailing intimate information about Toki's child abuse in Norway. The information used was gotten super unethical, like stolen reports from the few hospital visits Toki had to get as a child or sneaking onto the Wartooth Property and even into the home of his parents. It would be super invasive and downright humiliating for Toki. I don't think the public eye knows about Toki's child abuse like how Skwisgaar knew about it before Dethzazz or how the band learned about it from Dethzazz. Like, I know we like to think that the band had some thoughts about it, but they are selfish assholes. They might have had no idea until that episode. But I disgress.

Charles immediately sends out klokateers to the director of the documentary and does everything he can to remove the documentary from the air. But the damage is already done. The world has watched it and it's already been re-recorded and posted online. Toki is horrified and upset and won't leave his room. The band is equally as mad. The Wartooth property is ransacked and Anja is harassed and threatened. Charles has to send klokateers out there to protect the property because it is still Toki's family and it's his past. People try to break into the "Punishment Hole" to deface it or record themselves in it. It becomes a tourist attraction for the bravest fans to get to.

It would be such a mess.

I don't know, I just think that with Toki's luck, he wouldn't get a normal documentary. He would be the victim of True Crime enjoyers and media.

[pointy-spiral]

Ella OC post

( very unfinished but will be edited as i add to her character)

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Name - Ella Hvalheim

Class - First year Class C

Homeland - Norway

Height - 180cm

Birthday - Kept secret, because she hates parties and big groups of people. Only Jade and Ortho know, Ace and Deuce cant be trusted with secrets lol

Dorm - Ramshackle

Twisted from - Belle (beauty and the beast(grim lol)

Hobby - Reading and drawing and walks at night or during gloomy weather such as fog and rain.

Likes - Pretty scenery, sleeping, painting, and Pavlova.

Dislikes - Unskippable dialogue, bright light (the sun), people who mess up books and bend pages, and Crowley✨️

Best subject - Alchemy

Club - Mountain lovers club

Talent - Patience and really steady hands.. i guess?? And a big vocabulary hjdsfdsfhj very much "um actually-" potential

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A magicless person from a different dimension, stuck living with a direbeast in a run down dorm belonging to a prestegious school for magic. A terrified stranger to this world, Ella avoids people like the plague and is often found seeking comfort in the school library, or locked away in her room. Books are everything to her, wether its fiction, textbook, sketchbook, or picturebook, she allways has at least one nearby.

Despite being soft-spoken and anxious, she has trouble saying no when people ask her to join stuff, and ends up getting dragged along by her friends into all sorts of stupid nonsense.

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Smaller "fun facts" i guess??

She has snake bites, and pierced ears.

In her original world she had a lot of silver and steel jewlery, as it is worn for protection in old times in Norway out of superstition. ( mythical creatures were often thought to be allergic to the metal. Such as fae, Nøkken, etc) Though after being brought to twisted wonderland she really only has one neckalce and a pair of earrings, that she refuses to remove at all costs gjlkdfskjfdjk

She really REALLY likes studying folklore and myths, and the thought of being in a new world with new books to read... shes jittering alone in the dark of her room from chugging coffe so she can stay up and read more fdshkhdshdfsaslijisadoiu

She keeps a journal that she writes about her "new discoveries" in Twisted wonderland, writing down peoples names, birthdays, likes and dislikes, the plants that are simmilar to home, and stories about her new life here etc. Its all written in Norwegian so that nobody would be able to read it though teehehehehee

Other characters thoughts and interactions with her-

this part will expand as i remember and come up with stuff dfshdsksfd

Grim -

BESTIEE !! LITTLE KITTIE !! SO CUTE !! very much an emotional support cat. Lets her hold and pet him when she gets stressed. Pretends to disslike all the attention due to his pride, but deep down worries about her and likes being held. She brushes his fur and ties his ribbon for him all the time, its relaxing to her.

Grim takes on the role of "the beast" while Ella is "the beauty" as they live together in ramshackle. Like the beast, hes self centered, rude, inconsiderate, and deep down, very very lonely. Ella scolds him all the time for his behaviour, but not out of disliking him, rather because she worries about him. After a rocky start, they build a strong friendship.

Heartslabyul-

Riddle- He likes her since shes quiet, polite, and tries very hard with her studies. Though he wishes she would talk more, and not mumble so quietly all the time. Him and Ella get along, and hes even helped her with her studies a few times, taking pity on her for not being from this world, and explaining things to her. It messes with his ego slightly when she says hes "so smart!" when he answers her questions, saying hes such a cool housewarden. And yes hes a little upset about their height difference, but pretends not to be.

Trey- Helps him with carrying groceries during trips to buy baking ingredient from Sams,

Cater - On her first week of school she asked him where the school library was, two seconds go by and shes been draged into extroverted shenanigans including Lillia and Kalim. He felt a little bad after learning she has social anxiety, so sometimes he invites her to hang just the two of them.

Ace- Thinks its both boring and calming how she doesnt really do much, he comes to ramshackle with Deuce for weekly study time. Ella helps them with the subject they struggle with, and they help her with hers.

Deuce-

Savanaclaw-

Leona - Stepped on his tail and has been avoiding him ever since, she thinks hes still upset with her.

Ruggie- Wants to pet his ears really really bad.. but stays away from him for the most part.

Jack- She often sees him going for runs when she goes for her walks, hes invited her to join before but she has a hard time keeping up, she still joins him once in a while though. They bond over both being from a colder place, and they suffer together dyring the summer fdkjldfsjkfdsjfj. Ella is from our universe (real life lol) and is from north Norway, so both her and Jack sit in an iflatable kids pool full of ice during the summer sjhfdfdsfdh

Octavinelle-

Azul- Tried to hire her as a janitor for the lounge when Jade told him about her strong dislike for people, thinking it would pique her interrest to have a job with little to no people bothering her. But when he tried to ask her, his overly buisnessy talk and unnerving aura scared her so bad she ran away..

Jade- BESTIES They met when they were partnered up for a project in alchemy, and despite his.. creepy vibe, way of talking, and such, they start to get along, and eventually become friends.

Yes the slenderman drawing i made is the canon way he made her join the club, and yes she knows about slenderman ( cause creepy folklore stuff!! weeeeee!!) and yes she tought he might be real in this universe and almost cried.

Floyd- Had a massive giggle fit when she explained Nøkken to him, and now wont stop joking about drowning her in lakes, and asking if her and Jade found any cool lakes during club activities.

Scarabia-

Kalim- OH DEAR GOD WHY

She doesnt dislike him, he just.. hes a lot.. A LOT

Jamil- Very very thankfull for him keeping Kalim distracted when shes around fsahjsahfdhjgfh

Pomefiore-

Vil- no no no no no no

Rook - Her first meeting with him was when she was still a janitor at the school (before crowley let her and grim be students) when he was doing his usual Rook stuff.. and following people.. He gave her the school uniform she wears, it was a leftover pomefiore shirt and skirt, esetially dragging her off to Pomefiore to play dress up fsdkhfdss. As a hunter, he sort of takes the role of Gaston since shes based on Belle, but you know.. less gross.. Just yet another extrovert who haunts her fddffdshjfdsklgfkjlgfk

Epel- She had a massive giggle fit when he told her what his name was dsfdsjhfdshfds Epel sounds like saying Apple in norwegian but with a thick dialect.

Ignihyde-

Idia- Tec-illiterate normie.. but also a friend of Ortho, so he tollerates her fdshfsdsdfaiai

Ortho - Shes in the same class as him, he sees a lot of similarities between her and Idia, hes the first friend she made at the school willingly. Very much the "she said no pickles" friend, and has often talked for her when she gets too scared. Ella is almost entirely tech-illiterate and gives Idia a headache when she asks the most basic questions, but Ortho remains understanding of her situation of being from an entirely different world where not only tech is different, but icons, symbols and terminology as well. He at some point wrote down the basics for her on a sheet of paper that she now keeps in her journal.

Diasomnia-

Malleus- Nightwalk besties

Silver-

Sebek- Oh dear god no

Lillia- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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[sichore]

I've been rattling around my own version of pre/earlyklok so here's what I've got so far:

Pickles has been chewed up and spat out by the industry after SnB, in ruin after faulty contracts made when he was too young to know what he was getting into. He's also extremely burned by not getting the residuals that he should have when he fucking made SnB what it was, and he's a struggling addict.

I don't know yet what all Magnus' deal is, but he never even made it that far and time is not on his side as far as the industry is concerned. So you've got a has-been and a would-be rock star meeting through the guy who would be Dethklok's first manager who think that hey, they could get something going here.

So you've got two guitarists, and maybe at some local joint, they hear a cover band, and holy shit this kid's got pipes. They approach Nathan and everyone gets drinks and he shares that he's always wanted a band (and deep down he knows that he has to have it), so fuck it, they're gonna make a band. And William's there too, I guess, because he's Nathan's buddy somehow, and they don't wanna waste energy on finding a bassist.

So they've got the start of a good thing but it's not quite there yet. None of the drummers they try have the right sound so finally Pickles is just like "fuck it, I'll do it" because he's had to do Sammy's parts so many times already, and... oh, hey, why the fuck is he bothering with the guitar again? This is where he belongs.

So now they gotta find another guitarist, and finding Skwisgaar is akin to finding a temple to a forgotten god. It's a crime that someone so talented should be regulated to rhythm guitar, but Pickles' last bit of money is fueling this, and Magnus has to have his way, so that's just how it goes.

And turns out Magnus' manager buddy who manages Skwisgaar seems a hell of a lot more competent than their current guy, so they got a new manager now. And it's rough, but it works. For a while.

Pickles runs himself ragged after Magnus is kicked out because it's all on him, this is his last shot and they've gotta make this work. And they give this scrawny kid from Norway a chance and he has Skwisgaar's approval, and then... everything starts to fall together.

Their growing fans become fanatic. People flock to them for work that borders on servitude, and money starts flowing in, and maybe now Pickles can relax a bit. Sure, the drugs may still kill him, but things are better now. He doesn't have to fight and scrape for what's rightfully his. He actually owns Dethklok this time along with the others, and life is... as good as it's gonna get.

And during all this, Nathan grows more confident in seeing his dream come true. No one knows when the shift happens, but he stops playing mediator and starts demanding things go this way and that way. Because it's his band.

And Pickles just lets him take over because sure, it's actually their band, but he's tired, man. He's just so tired of having to do things himself.

The rise of Dethklok happens over the span of 10-12 years, anywhere from 1994 to 2006. Snakes 'N' Barrels only lasted about 4-5 years and Pickles spent a handful of years remaking himself between gigs. Nathan and Murderface graduated high school in the late 80s/early 90s, and Toki is in his late 20s by the time the show starts.

[tomsfoolery]

born to make maps forced to 5,000 word essay (I’m an English major)

map for my oc lore :] the continent (or two continents idk one flood and that little strip is GONE) is called Deoskrotia

rip the korosian empire you wouldn’t have loved the 30 year war over oil between you know who and Norway (I love my lore)

I’ll add the capital cities when I actually name them LOLZ

But korosia’s capital was called Vriqal Spires and it’s mostly abandoned now

and Corvus’s is called Auratovus

ramblings v

uhh Korosia operated under the belief that their land sat atop the slumbering body of a great dragon (save me vaguely dragon shaped continents save me) so they were very environmentally conscious which is why Corvus magically nuked them and destroyed their environment

Belraine used to be a part of Korosia but they broke off thanks to my bg3 durge who is also in my oc lore bc…yeah…and Vael happened to be like the vessel of a god (not Bhaal) so the empress at the time decided it wasn’t worth fighting the god she worshipped over belraine so

Korosia & Belraine are almost entirely inhabited by tiefling/tiefling-like individuals, Korosia has a lot of dragonborn and half-dragons as well tho bc dragons are very important to them which is ALSO why Corvus stole the dragons as their symbol

Dragons & any draconic or reptilian species are very important to Korosia so they have a lot of respect the more scales or wings you have so…y’know

ummm the whole deal between them is Korosia worships the creator god (who actually made most of the stuff) Ilya and Corvus worships Sycorlan, who is also a creator god but didn’t make as much. Ilya & Syc had a falling out over a misunderstanding and Syc basically rewrote history to paint Ilya as evil bc Ilya represents a lot of life cycles n stuff?? Like death must happen to make way for new life n stuff, so Syc used that against him and then beat him so bad Ilya basically died and is forced to reincarnate into vessels that are growing increasingly independent of his wishes. Which is where the lore picks up?

Kosorvo was the ATTEMPT between Korosia and Corvus to get along but Corvus pressured them w/trade embargoes into allying with them so

Nuevas Cantaras isn’t actually a country anymore, but they used to be a very long time ago. Back when the gods Ilya created were still in power Nuevas Cantaras was a huge hub for worshippers of the fire snake god Feu-Ra, however aftee Ilya’s fall he could feel his power corrupting and his control slipping so he trained the daughter of the new fire god to take his fang and slay him which created the Eye of Fire that’s been passed down quite a lot to the other main character in my story (who cannot tie his shoes)

Ilya, after spending several eternities having his name slandered and countless wars, is not nearly as benevolent or kind as he once was so his vessels usually aren’t happy.

Vaelkas is actually the only one of these vessels to break himself away from Ilya and still be alive and it’s because Astarion (yes I yoinked him) found a way to drain him to where he’s almost dead and simultaneously perform a ritual to expel Ilya.

Vyserion was the vessel prior to the one in the main story, he died during the final war between Corvus and Korosia that got Korosia eradicated. Tbh he just wanted to retire and go live on his estate in peace. Now he’s a ghost who bullies/advises the new vessel occasionally and also is currently trying to stage a coup in hell!

Aaaand the current vessel is named Ser and he was rushed to be made (?) bc Ilya wanted him to be the child of the lady who killed Vyserion just to make her go insane so naturally that childhood went very well for ser

And naturally he grows up during a war between Norway & the U.S. over oil reserves (blah blah his “mom” moved from Deoskrotia to earth blah blah) so what better way to avoid being the tool of the god than to be the tool of the military!

Ser is struggling so hard trying to live with a foot in both worlds he is losing his mind thank goodness he has a loving husband (he gets kidnapped) (and slowly falls out of love with Ser bc man’s cannot find his marbles)

[tobacconist]

actually, and let me speak on this:- there is a SHOCKING amount of people in the occultist and neopagan community, who style themselves witches (and so SURELY ought to know better) and who, presumably, do believe in magick, and know of its very real effects - and yet still believe the witch trials of england, scotland, and norway were all sham and are even calling for all of these women and men to be posthumously pardoned for their crimes. many were innocent, certainly, and these laws have been overturned but...

surely... surely sisters... we know it is possible to put a snake into a person. we know how to stir someones brains up. we know how to steal milk. and we know these things should be illegal.

[scary-movies-on-netflix]

THE INNOCENTS (2021)

This Norwegian film about kids with superpowers is actually better than any MCU movie since “Avengers: Infinity War” (2018).

Ida, a young girl, moves with her family to a new apartment complex somewhere in Norway.  Her older sister is Anna, who has nonverbal autism, which basically means that she can’t speak or care for herself.  Ida isn’t the best sister.  She pinches Anna, hard, and Anna doesn’t seem to react.  She puts glass shards into Anna’s shoes, and while Anna seems to react, no one understand her and she ends up with badly cut feet.  At the apartment complex, Ida meets a young boy, Ben, who can move little rocks with his mind.  They find a cat and drop it down a tall stairwell.  They find the wounded cat and Ben steps on its head, killing.  Ida is perturbed and leaves, but she later finds the cat’s mutilated body.

Anna, meanwhile, meets another little girl named Aisha, who seems to possess telepathic powers.  Aisha can sense Anna’s thoughts.  The kids all start to hang out together and begin to display both telepathic and telekinetic powers.  Except for Ida, who has no powers.  Unfortunately, things go south.  The kids are playing a game (Ida whispers words into Anna’s ear, and the other can read her mind to “hear” what Ida said), and Ida calls Ben a “shit kid.”  Aisha laughs, but Ben telekinetically shoves her!  He moves on Aisha, but Anna stands in his way.  They face off telekinetically, and a tree snaps behind them.  A splinter lodges in Anna’s leg, but Aisha helps her say a word! 

At Ben’s house, he moves a boiling pot with his mind.  His mother grabs the handle and burns her hand.  She’s yelling at Ben, and he uses his mind to throw a cast iron pan at her head.  She falls on the ground, and then he dumps the boiling hot water on her legs.  She cries for help, but Ben does nothing, and later we see that he’s placed a cloth over her face. 

The next day, I guess, Ida and Anna’s mother watches them play with Aisha, and Anna begins to talk!  The adults are amazed.

That night, Ben uses his mind powers to “possess” a guy.  The guy goes outside and follows one of Ben’s bullies and kills him with a rock!  The next day all of the parents are freaked out, over the dead kid, but Ida sneaks out to play with Ben.  After she asks him to demonstrate his powers, he makes her sit on an old fridge, and then he breaks a stick in her hand.  Then they go watch some kids playing basketball, and Ben uses his mind to break a kid’s leg!  Aisha rushes outside to confront him, but he force-chokes her.  Anna appears and scares Ben away.  He runs back to his apartment and breaks down crying.  Aisha and Anna start to freak out, because they’re convinced that now Ben is going to use his mind-powers to kill them!  They want to go back outside to handle the problem, but Ida and Anna’s mom won’t let them go, because it’s dinner time.

Ben uses his mind powers to possess Aisha’s mom.  We see the woman’s visions, of a monster, and she stabs Aisha to death.  The parents are once again freaking out.  Ida tentatively tries to suggest to her parents that something is wrong, but she can’t bring herself to be completely open about the threat of Ben.  She formulates her own plan.  She buys a little toy airplane and goes to play with Ben.  She goes to a highway overpass and entices Ben to stand on the rail to throw it.  A woman appears and tells him to get off the railing, but Ida quickly shoves him over.  Ida runs off, but we see that Ben has not fallen into traffic, but instead onto the side of the road.  He uses his mind powers and traps Ida in a scary world of snakes, and shadow figures chases her.  In her fear, she squeezes a piece of glass so hard that it cuts her hand, and the pain seems to end the effect, but she sees that she is standing in the middle of a road and a car is speeding at her!  She jumps out of the way, but the car hits her leg and breaks it.

In the hospital, Ida tells her mother that the whole thing was an accident, and her mother lets it drop.  Ida has a cast on her leg and is sitting in her apartment with Ida, but she looks out the window to see Ben down below.  He stares ominously at her window.  Her mother starts acting weird, and Ida hides, but her mother only forgot to buy an ingredient and is going to the store.  Ida leaves her hiding place, and she sees that Anna is gone!

Outside, Anna and Ben silently face off across a little lake.  Ben sends a wave of power across the top of the water, and Anna collapses, defeated.  Ida is trying to run outside, but she is hobbled by her leg cast.  In frustration, she yells, and the cast breaks in half!  She has super powers too!  Anna gets back up, and Ida joins her.  They hold hands and try again, as a bunch of other little kids stop and stare at them.  Perhaps they’re also force-sensitive?  Anyway, this time Ben cannot defend himself.  He wanders to a swingset and sits down and the girls stop his heart.  He dies, all the little kids stop paying attention, and no one seems to care. 

Anna and Ida go back to their apartment.  Their mother returns and Ida goes to her and starts crying.  Anna starts playing with a little drawing toy (like a nicer etch-a-sketch), but she pauses, because maybe she’ll be able to talk again?  We don’t know, because it’s the end.

I…really liked this!  The child actors were good.  The story was harrowing.  There are plenty of similarities to “Chronicle” (2012), what with kids gaining superpowers and one of them going bad.  The problem, naturlich, is that children have underdeveloped senses of empathy and morality.  If they have a cool power, they’re going to use it.  In this film, the kids float through a world where the adults are barely present.  They have no guidance.  Both Ben and Aisha additionally suffer because they appear to be the children of refugees, so they have the extra burden of being outsiders to the dominant society.  Anna and Ida’s dad says, of Aisha’s mom, “she was alone, very different from us,” but was the woman actually “very different” from them?  Did she not care for her child, like them?  Did she not want the best for herself and her daughter, like them?  Anna and Ida didn’t burden Ben and Aisha with these prejudices.  They were all just children together.

NOTE: Hey, do you read my reviews and maybe sometimes enjoy them? Maybe consider "following!" I'm always watching new and old horror movies. Let me know if there's something you think I should check out. Thanks.

[toomanythoughts2]

I don't know if anyone else fucks with AU's but I have put so much thought into a Metalocalypse AU where Dethklok gets sent into a universe were Toki never makes it to the band/never leaves Norway. So Dethklok, in that universe, never reaches their full potential and they are on the path to world destruction because Dethklok needs all 5 members to defeat Salacia. So the band has to go on an adventure to get Toki into the band so that they can all go home/set the universe back into place.

The problem I keep running into to is who is Toki in this world without Dethklok? And I have a few ideas.

Toki stays home and becomes the next Reverend after his father dies. He secretly sneaks out to go play guitar under a persona in a few towns over and leads a double life essentially. He's very unhappy but has to be the dutiful son to his parents.

Toki stays home, becomes deeply religious, but fully believes that God will send him angels to rescue him from his family. When Dethklok comes to get him, he is convinced that they were sent as a answer to his prayers. He constantly refers to Dethklok as his Guardian Angels.

Toki is forced to stay at home (due to manual labor needs) but has plans to escape on his own. Dethklok technically ruins his plans to escape on his own by announcing his escape, but he does escape. The whole congregation and his parents know though, and they plan to track him down and bring him back home. So it becomes a race to see who will get to Toki first. This Toki is very desperate for freedom and has lost a fair amount of childlike whimsy in exchange for survival techniques.

Toki becomes a "copy cat" guitarist for hire, where when a band just needs a stand-in guitarist, he can come in and play their guitarist's part perfectly. He has a hard time expressing his own original work and is a serious loner, despite wanting to desperately connect with band members and people.

Toki becomes a black metal guitarist for a local band that plays gigs in clubs to make ends meet. Toki fully recognizes the full reach of his sexual and gender identity and dresses more feminine. Personally, this universe would be Toki's "Snakes N' Barrels" complete with glam and gender non-conformity. He's pretty happy here and has respect within the community but wants more/not fully understood by people. I think this version of him would be the most expressive.

Toki ends up having to become a prostitute since he was kicked out at such a young age, gaining reputation for his natural gift for guitar. It became what he's known for.

Toki gives up guitar and picks up keyboard/piano instead. Particularly, becomes a college student after a influential professor hears him playing one night to get some cash for a room. He ends up going to school on a scholarship and learning under said professor to play piano. Though, Toki's heart is always set on the guitar but because of his Father, he has some serious PTSD when handling it. I also like to play around with if the professor is a good guy or has some kind of ulterior motive.

Toki is unable to land a role in the band but is able to help out producers and musical engineers "under the table" and learns the ins and outs of the business. He ends up giving up on the guitar for the chance at a life that will take care of him, while also being a little bitter that he was never good enough for people to play. He ends up becoming the youngest rising musical producer. He is very serious in this universe, having completely given up everything to survive. Think about it is Abigail and Charles had a baby but make it a little bit meaner and unhinged. That would be this Toki.

This universe actually splits into two directions:

Toki becomes a producer on his own and the band has to find him. Either by being the "under the table" employee and learning by watching, or he takes a more active role and helps make decisions.

Toki never makes it into the band/too scared to duel Skwisgaar but is able to work directly under Charles as an apprentice and finds out that is he talented in music producing, becoming Dethklok's producer and not their guitarist. I like this version because this keeps all of the members together but they are still not where they need to be. Also, this version of Toki is very serious, very hard, very stubborn. He had to basically give up everything that our Toki is known for in order to do the job he was being given. He's talented in it and he has never failed Dethklok or Charles, but he doesn't play around. He doesn't play guitar because of his bitterness at being taken advantage of by other musicians or lack of response.

These are just a few that I can remember, but I just love the idea of playing around with "Toki if he never joined Dethklok" and "Dethklok desperately trying to get Toki" I particularly love the religious ones and the music producer one. Though the Black Metal one has my heart because I picture Toki being the most "Toki" in that universe and not afraid to take center stage and be himself. UGh, I love Toki <3

[jcmarchi]

How robots affect fish surprises researchers - Technology Org

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/how-robots-affect-fish-surprises-researchers-technology-org/

How robots affect fish surprises researchers - Technology Org

Norway is world leading in the use of robotics in the fish farming industry. But how does the technical equipment affect the fish? Surprisingly much, says cyberneticist Eleni Kelasidi.

Image credit: Eleni Kelasidi

“I thought it would be quite simple and straight forward to use the same technology in aquaculture as in oil and gas, but I got a serious wake-up call during my first visit to a fish farm,” says Eleni Kelasidi. She had a PhD in snake robotics for the oil and gas industry, when she became a researcher at SINTEF Ocean’s aquaculture department.

“I didn’t really understand how much it changes the premises for operations that everything is moving and that the work area is full of living animals. It’s completely different having a robot work in the open sea with stagnant, dead metal on pipelines or turbines,” she explains. After robotics entered the fish farming industry, aquaculture has largely adopted equipment developed for the oil and gas industry. Kelasidi believes aquaculture needs its own specialised robotics and has researched which solutions are least disturbing to the fish.

The fish’s own safety distance

“When we talk about the interaction between humans and robots, it goes without saying that human needs and safety have the highest priority. The same principle forms the basis of the Fish-Machine Interaction project. We want to contribute to better robots that can work quickly and efficiently, but they must, of course, take the fish’s needs and safety into account,” she says.

Eleni Kelasidi, PostDoc Qin Zhang from NTNU, and the rest of the team have collected and analysed data in various fish cages associated with SINTEF ACE over a three-year period. They have collected data from different locations, at different times of the year, and at different life stages of the fish. “We have conducted several different measurements per case, so we have extensive data collection,” says the senior researcher.

The study provides some very clear answers, including how large a safety distance the fish keeps to an object. “The ratio between the size of fish and the distance they keep to foreign objects is actually linear, which surprised us all. The smaller the fish, the smaller the distance,” says Kelasidi.

[embedded content]

Equipment that is lowered into the water blocks more volume than the actual equipment itself; and the safety distance that the fish keep, has consequences for how cramped the cage becomes during various operations. Based on this study, breeders can know which distance the fish will keep to the equipment they put down. Five-kilo fish for example, keep a distance of three metres. The fact that younger and smaller fish operate with a more modest safety distance means in practice that more equipment can be placed in the cage for young fish without affecting their swimming routines and behaviour, compared with older fish.

Colour, size, speed and sound are important

“When we know what disturbs or affects the fish, we can say something about which adaptations technology producers should make,” says Kelasidi, who has found out more about what the fish reacts to and what it overlooks. The researchers made objects in different shapes, colours, and sizes, to see and quantify any changes in the fish’s response. It turns out that shape does not matter: the fish reacts the same way whether it is a cylinder or a cube.

However, they keep a greater distance to large objects than to small ones and a greater distance to yellow equipment than to white. Colour and size are therefore important factors. As is sound and speed, as previous studies have shown. “We hope technology providers will use this knowledge when they develop new equipment. For us researchers, the next goal is to develop technology that enables autonomous robots to adapt their behaviour to the fish’s reactions, to disturb the fish as little as possible. If, for example, the robot’s sensors pick up that fish are avoiding the robot or show something that the robot can recognize as changed behaviour and therefore a potential stress factor, it can slow down and operate in a less disruptive manner for the fish,” Kelasidi explains.

Self-adapting robots

“Today, we don’t know if it is stress-related that the fish swim away from the equipment, or if it can be compared to children who run away from the chaser in a game of tag. We need more research,” says Kelasidi, but points out that it is useful to know what behavioural response the fish have to various elements. If you need to do work in the fish cage that requires that the fish keeps its distance, it is useful to know which colour makes them stay away. And if you want to come close to them, perhaps with a camera, it is good to know which colour make them feel comfortable.

So far, the researchers have only tested yellow and white, because these are the colours used on today’s equipment. In coming research, they will also investigate how the fish reacts when the robot turns or moves, how speed affects it, and whether it makes any difference whether the movement is horizontal or vertical, or with or without light. Kelasidi’s goal is to carry out autonomous robot operations with as little disturbance as possible. 

“The Norwegian aquaculture industry is a pioneer in adopting technology, and we hope to contribute with knowledge that enables the industry to continue to maintain its position as a world leader in the field. Robotics that takes fish welfare into account does not touch upon the most pressing problem facing the industry today, but it lays the foundation for better fish welfare in future aquaculture,” says Kelasidi. The Research Council of Norway funds the research project, and SINTEF and NTNU have worked closely together to develop new knowledge that may be relevant to current and future challenges in the aquaculture industry.

Source: Sintef

You can offer your link to a page which is relevant to the topic of this post.

[elodieunderglass]

I definitely have looked at that post and many similar posts and been so, so good about not saying anything.

It is definitely funny that people pick and choose what they believe to be the Ultimate Ecosystem, and then try to impose that picture on the living Earth.

They’re like, “the ultimate ecosystem has ancient named oak trees that are 500 years old and are covered in moss, that’s what the earth should look like everywhere. That’s what you should rewild your american yard to be. That’s what you’re aiming for.”

So I’m dubiously holding up the moodboard pictures they’ve chosen of like, ancient woodland from the UK, maybe Białowieża Forest in Poland/Belarus if they’ve unexpectedly stumbled upon especially mossy pictures on Pinterest, going “you’re sure? You’re sure the temperate primeval forest of Europe is what you want to terraform all over the planet? You know this takes several hundred years of intimate relationships between species and geology to achieve?” Like a contractor mildly worried by someone’s decision to put a washing machine in a dining room.

“Yes! And now put in all the creatures I have in my personal home state. Like my specific snakes and things.”

I look at their home state. I look at the mood board. I say, “They might not like it.”

“I’m fixing it. The uk has only three native species of snakes, which is just bad stewardship.”

“But you also want the UK’s … moss?”

“Yes, it’s the most aesthetic, which is good stewardship.”

“But you’re sort of mixing in some continental European geography into the fantasy here.”

“Yes, it’s the ultimate ecosystem. Maybe just copy and paste that whole thing from before the Europeans screwed everything up and killed all their snakes.”

“They don’t - that’s not - look, this is a primeval Polish forest where they have only five native snakes,” I say weakly. “They, that’s - that’s their ecosystem. That’s. That’s it.”

“We’re teaching them better. This is the ultimate ecosystem. It’s going to have moose. We’ll airdrop them over.”

“They have those in Europe,” I say helpfully, “so you can save on transport.”

“What do you mean?”

“Moose are indigenous to the ‘top part’ of the planet, so there’s sort of a belt of native moose around the North Pole - they’re one of the old ‘land bridge’ type megafauna. They’re actually more densely populated in Norway than Alaska.”

“Hmm! Maybe just copy and paste the Norwegian ecosystem over then.”

I bite a nail. “Norway only has three native species of snakes.”

“Well, and aren’t they sad about that? Don’t they know they’re missing out?”

“I think they comfort themselves with the fact that they do have Jörmungandr…”

“Wait,” my colleague is frowning, suddenly aware of the presence of an ocean of information on the edge of their own knowledge. “Why is it that the exact same species of moose are native around the world in a belt shape, but snakes aren’t everywhere?”

“That’s one of the exciting first principles of speciation!” I say brightly and excitedly, suddenly unpacking a PowerPoint. It was all a trap! “The pressures of climate, geography and geology on the constraints of evolutionary biology are what shape the relationships of ecosystems! Wait! Come back!”

im not like. '''''sad'''' about living in a country that doesn't have a lot of snakes. its cold up here we don't have a lot of reptiles, we also don't have a lot of big bugs. why would you want every single part of the world to have the same climate and the exact same flora and fauna??

[tirsden]

Last time, we started out with Shane the child ruler of Iceland battling for power with her regent Sigfus, who I have since confirmed was indeed her chancellor once she wrenched the throne from him (I wasn't sure last round, memory holes and whatnot). His obnoxious ass had declared war on me after I failed to assassinate him, and I realized belatedly it was probably because he was in my court and my beefy intrigue perks had high protection specifically on my court… whoopsie.

Either way, I'd kicked him out of my court by the time he declared war. So, now we're down to a sliver of land after being imprisoned for crimes against the former-regent-and-counsellor-turned-Jarl, which was fixed up right quick with some ransom gold because Sigfus is a doof. I'm still chieftainess? Good. We can work with this.

While fleshing out my family tree, I noticed that I was actually listed as an heir to the entire country… after Sigfus's one and only child. Hmmmmm, but he has a relatively young wife, that's not good. Oh well, sonny and waifu didn't last long. And the hard lock on trying to kill Sigfus himself was coming to an end, just as I saw he betrothed himself to a 12 year old girl. Don't worry sweetie, you're gonna be fine. Meanwhile, Sigfus kept trying to revoke my titles? My claims? The mechanics for that stuff is confusing, but I think he managed to sort-of mess two of them up which will become relevant later, but for now… he's running out of time.

Sigfus died of snake, going to his grave with the nickname "The Greedy" which surprises nobody. Everyone forget he ever existed, please and thank you. Iceland is mine again, bwahahaha! And I packed the court, which eventually had two of my own kids, and I kept killing off bishops because each new guy hated me so much, can't imagine why.

My firstborn son Richard lost his damned arm while training with one of my marshals, wtf. I actually had a lot of problems with marshals, or shall I say, my former-spymaster hubby Gunnarr did. He kept whining that they were insulting him, so I kept banishing them. One more time, dearest hubster, and I'm killing you instead. He died of old age before he could bitch about New Guy Number Whatever, go fig.

Ring in the new hopefully-less-gripey hubby, and enough people have been turned into witches behind the scenes that I formed a coven. The coven included none other than the one bishop I decided NOT to kill, partly because he was young and I'm thinking about the future now.

Then Richard died, and that wasn't good for the ol' stress level… rocked further by the death of my good friend and oceanic neighbor the Bastard King of Norway. Sadface. I now had to deal with a wrench in my inheritance plans, as Richard's lone son yoinked himself into the next-in-line slot ahead of my remaining sons. Said kiddo didn't like me. And had a funny name (I think I'd hit the randomizer at the time of birth). Gosh, people die so easily around here!

Xander, one of my sons I actually wanted to succeed me now, became first in line after the death of whoever-that-was. I noticed not long after this, that he wasn't going to inherit the titles for two sections of land I owned (I thiiiink this is from Sigfus's shenanigans). Thus, I bestowed those titles upon my youngest son Kaito, because I need more practice with vassals after my whole "taking over the entire country" thing and have been sole ruler of everything ever since. Did I mention Kaito is 11? He has some lady as a regent now in his new vassaldoms, while mumsy has flashbacks of her childhood.

The timing of deciding land ownership couldn't have been more poignant, as Shane died not much later. Nine kills under her delicate belt, and never lost "The Witch" as her nickname. I love her epitaph, except "burn" should be "serve popsicles" of course. And the crown is handed down… with the kingdom immediately trying to fracture via my spymaster-hubby's son Gunnarr thinking he has any right to the throne just cuz he's named after the husband I had for an actual long time. Sheesh.

Good luck, Xander. You're gonna need it.

[thelittleprinceconfirmed]

Norway isn't real

It's literally just a snake, the government is lying to you

[cherryslyce]

Enjoy the second to last HC's, bubz. Who knows... The anon to lovers pipeline sounds kinda in rn..

.

.

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*in bed*

Reg: So. Just to clarify..You actually like me right?

MC: No, I kept a portrait that kinda hurt to have in my pocket which gave me splinters btw, around for years, got devasted by the demise, slept in said portraits room as a source of comfort, went all the way to NORWAY at the off chance something could be done for said boy in portrait, went into a creepy cave, nearly died, did a ritual, all because I can't fucking stand you.

Reg, contemplating: ..you were in my bed before marriage? 😙

MC: You kinda make me wanna drown myself.

Reg: I thought we established it's too soon for those-

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Reg, panicked: YOU SAW VOLDEMORT IN THE CAVE?

MC, crying: YEAH HE WAS SO FUCKING UGLY.

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Sirius: There is no fucking way.

Harry: There is definitely a way and fucking is likely involved.

Reg, unfazed: What was it you say birdie.. No bitches? 🤔

Sirius and Harry: Fuck this combo. Fuck this combo. FUCK THIS COMBO-

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Blaire: Nah you better be fucking forreal.. FIRST YOU ANSWER MY MOM BEFORE ME, LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR OUR CHILD AND NOW YOU GOTTA SICK VICTORIAN CHILD LOOKING BOYFRIEND? I'm having a moment. Oh i'm have a serious moment.

Reg, coughs: Wrong brother to be having a moment with.

Blaire: Girl, you BETTER be joking.. 👁️_👁️

Mc: I think I'm going to pre-maturely die now. I wish you the best.

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Kreacher: MASTER REGULUS HAS RETURNED AT LAST!

*Reg holding MC's hand*

Kreacher: WITH UH.. THE BLOOD..THE BLOOD PLEASER..?

Sirius, behind them both, disgusted: You know, I know you don't know what you're saying and you're aiming for better than blood traitor but you could have said literally anything else. Anything. God.

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I have so many.. thoughts. feelings. headcannons. but rly, I want to say thank you first. I've had a pretty rough month and my highlight was always getting to read Second Son. Reg always was a soft spot of mine but your characterisation was probably as close to how I imagined it. When the 3rd last chapter came out? Girl, I was in a boba shop, moral supporting my friend and he thought I was delirious CUZ I WAS GIGGLING. Of course, I'm sad it's come to an end but your journey as a writer sure as hell hasn't thus I'm super excited for you new work!! I hope you're proud of the series because not only were you delivering so often, you rly made all our days when you did. I'm wishing both sides of your pillow are how you desire them to be..

All the love, beloved hc anon 💌✨

My lovely hc anon <33!!! The anon to lover pipeline is def in<333 !!!!

Regulus would definitely be up at ungodly hours just contemplating that kind of stuff (poor reader, but same Reg). Also LOL, reader was more disturbed by Voldemort's snake face than anything else (like reader definitely gets nightmares of that moment at the cave still).

Regulus and Reader would literally drive Sirius up the WALL, like they give him and James a run for their money. +++ I'm so dead LMAO, you captured Blaise's humor perfectly, that is something he would definitely say in his head while plastering on a wide grin !

BLOOD PLEASER. I LOVE that omg...Kreacher is trying to be better, but he would most definitely come up with the most absurd nicknames ever.

I'm so glad that my series has been able to lift your spirits, my dear!! And I must thank you as well because your hc's always made my days so much brighter and really helped bring the characters to life!! You are truly one of my most beloved anons on here, and I really am going to miss these messages <33! I went into this series not expecting much, but I'm so overwhelmed by the kind words I received, and I starkly remember the first ever hc message you sent me. I was just blown away that someone would take the time to do so much for the series, and I truly want to thank you <33!!

I'm excited for the journey ahead and I hope to see you around !! Wishing you a lovely day/night wherever you are !!

-cherry <33

[thehmn]

I’m going to spoil the shit of the book now so consider this your warning if you plan on reading it.

As expected the moral of the story is “no sex or gender should be below another” but it’s the first story of its kind I’ve seen where the author use trans people to make their point.

I said earlier that testosterone treatment isn’t an option for the trans men but late in the story it’s strongly implied they have illegal access to both estrogen and testosterone. They provide a trans girl with estrogen and her mother laments that she can no longer tap her for testosterone because the Man Women would pay a pretty penny for it.

If you read the book don’t expect proper terminology to be used for trans people. The author clearly has experience with trans people in our world and is trying to write them into a world where men are seen as not quite animals but definitely not real humans either. That’s why trans men are called Man Women and several characters say “but they’re not REAL men” It’s a mix of characters wanting to acknowledge their humanity because only women are real humans, but also as a way to justify the system. If men are violent creatures that can’t be allowed to walk free in a civilized society but trans men who pump themselves full of testosterone are safe then surely they can’t be REAL men. And yet the trans man Lars who has the biggest silicone penis in the district and the broadest shoulders is the kindest person in the story who provides several characters with both emotional and material goods via his sex work. He never calls himself a Man Woman but simply “someone with a silicone dick” and after losing his ability to breastfeed babies after a few months in prison he decides to not maintain his breasts anymore, commit to a more masculine look.

The system generally doesn’t allow for trans women to exist because if a child is born with a penis they’re immediately sent to one of the centers where they won’t even be taught to talk. But one trans girl slipped through the cracks because her mother managed to hide her by leaving Norway and moving to Denmark where nobody would know she even existed. Her situation isn’t as clear as the trans men because for her it was either a sex change or captivity, but the book never refers to her with anything other than female pronouns and she never laments the loss of her penis. She too is used to make a point. If men and women are really that different then how could nobody tell she was born with a penis? Basically “if the sexes/genders so different then why trans people exist?” (or “We have differences but they aren’t big enough for trans people not to exist”) It really wants to hammer home that it’s insane to divide men and women into boxes because we are all human and all capable of love and harm.

Besides that it has a bunch of interesting little details. In this future depictions of Jesus on the cross is used to scare men at the centers and remind them what happens to them out in the real world. Also apple slices are handed out a Christian ceremonies in memory of Eva. Snakes are considered symbols of femininity and one of the witches has a huge snake that only thrive on eating male snakes, however she eventually realize the snake doesn’t have to eat males, it just need male blood, symbolizing the need for the feminine and masculine to exist together.

It’s also fantasy-light. Magic is subtle but real. The main witch bake love cakes for Lars that actually works though in a way subtle way. His customers don’t fall head over heels in love with him but the cakes make them want to use his services more often. The Christian priest keeps plants around her bed and notice that they grow better when she has good sex. Another character is a stone cold skeptic but has the ability to understand plants (so much in fact that she hates eating plants and has an almost exclusively meat based diet) and has telepathic connections with dogs without realizing it.

Maren Uthaug’s books are always full of colorful characters and bizarre situations so I’m sure it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I’d highly recommend 11% if this sounds interesting to you.

I’m currently listening to Maren Uthaug’s book 11% about a world where most men have died. I should probably wait until I’ve finished the book but I’m so fascinated by the world building.

As of now it’s still unclear why the men died but when the story takes place there’s a mix of older women who fucking hates men and young women who have only met drugged up men at “breeding centers” and imagine “males” as violent boogeymen but otherwise don’t really care and just want to live in the new seemingly perfect society their grandmothers fought for. The only people who still fight for men’s rights are witches who believe masculine energies are as natural and Of Nature as feminine energies, but even they sound more like animal rights activists, standing outside breeding centers with signs every Friday. Their most provocative sign is a picture of a man with Human written on it.

Christianity has been completely transformed and is now run by priests (they don’t call themselves priestess) who can only hold ceremonies when they have their periods and snakes are their most sacred symbol because they gave knowledge to Eva and God is called The Mother.

Trans men exist but are referred to as Man Women and they all seem to be sex workers who have functional silicone penises, though I’m not far enough into the story to know if they have other jobs. They generally also still have breasts because working as a wet nurse is another source of income for them. Testosterone treatments is not an option because it would make them too masculine and dangerous to be allowed into society but they all have male names and everyone use male pronouns for them.

A really fascinating aspect of the world is how people want to get rid of the old “patriarchal architecture” of straight lines and boxes but refuse to tear it down with machines, instead insisting on letting Mother Nature reclaim it. Only Rat Girls are actively trying to destroy the old buildings by releasing hoards of rats into them and planting bamboo to break up the concrete. New buildings have round shapes and are build in ways that make them blend in with cultivated nature and inside they’re painting in beautiful colors with no hard edges. They sound a lot like colorful hobbit homes. Also, locks are considered uncivilized and of a time when violent men roamed the earth and made life unsafe so nothing, from front doors to bathrooms, have locks. For a while after most men died women would go for Night Walks to relish in the fact that they no longer had to be afraid, though they liked to visit the witches at night because it felt a little spooky, which the witches thought was good fun.

The story is naturally about a middle aged witch who is hiding a young boy illegally and gets milk from one of the trans men in the red district while also sleeping with a Christian priest who struggles with her sacred job because her periods are irregular.

I’ll come back with follow up thoughts once I’ve finished it. Unlike what you might think, Maren Uthau isn’t a scary man hater. I’ve listened to most of her other books and this isn’t a recurring trope so clearly she has something to say specifically with this story and it’s rated pretty highly by both male and female readers. I think I’m in for quite the ride.

[jimblejamblewritings]

princesse de mort | end.

Summary: Y/N Riddle. Not much more has to be said. Life at Hogwarts when your dad is Lord Voldemort is an interesting experience. And four particular people at school make it even more interesting.

Warnings for the Series: This whole story is angsty, hurt/comfort, smut, will end in fluff but goes through all the other stuff first. this is like a mild dark fic? just shy of being dark?

Pairing: Marauders x black!reader, eventual Remus Lupin x black!reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

While you washed away all the blood on you from Nagini, Remus went straight to Olivia’s room. He choked back tears as he finally held his daughter for the first time. She was so small in his arms and he couldn’t believe that the child he was holding was his. He heard the fireplace and took little Olivia into the living room.

“Your sister,” Remus said quietly as Harry wiped the remaining Floo Powder off of his pants.

He would have been there sooner but the Daily Prophet showed up to take pictures of the scene. As The-Boy-Who-Lived and the one that actually killed Voldemort, Harry got stuck until the Ministry was satisfied with its pictures. He looked at the baby.

“Do they normally frown?”

Remus chuckled. “I don’t think she likes us yet, doesn’t know us.”

The boy hummed in understanding. He supposed that he would also frown if a random person picked him up and walked around his house as if they lived there. Of course, he and Remus did actually live there but Olivia had no way of knowing that. Harry took her in his arms as Remus went to clean up and take care of you. With everything safe, Remus didn’t feel concerned at leaving his two children alone. No one was after Harry and Olivia was being watched.

The older boy left the cottage to go across the street. Olivia made a cry of protest, only stopping when Harry realized that she was cold. Olivia had inherited traits that were granted to you by Azkaban. She was cold like you, weaker emotions, and weaker magic. You suspected that over time it would balance itself out considering you used to be a lot worse. Harry summoned a blanket and continued across the street— Lily and James’ house.

You finished getting cleaned and pointed out of your window to the light in the house across from you. Remus came out to see what you were looking at. Both of you watched Harry, who seemed to be animatedly talking to Olivia, give a tour of his old home. Remus drummed his fingers against your hips.

“The house is finished. Harry likes his room a lot, Padfoot and Dad both said they’d stay with us.”

“When can we leave?” you asked.

“Right now, if you want, Sunshine.”

“I want you to kiss me first.”

The man smiled. He had been waiting so long to do that again. Gladly, Remus turned you around and kissed you. You pulled him closer to you. In a very possessive way, Remus snaked his hand down your waist and grabbed a handful of your butt.

“If your parents traumatizing you in the kitchen is a child’s right of passage, I’ll go back to being an orphan.”

You and Remus jumped. Both of you laughed in a sort of exasperated fashion when you looked over to see Harry had returned and was covering Olivia’s eyes while keeping his own squeezed shut. Remus walked over to grab Olivia.

He patted Harry on the shoulder. “Oh, we have years to make up for, Harry.”

The boy groaned as he went to get a glass for water. “You really don’t.”

~~

“We’ll be fine, Moony. I’m watching over your two girls.”

Remus ran a hand through his hair. “Sirius, that makes me more nervous than anything.”

“Whatever. Look, it’s a Padfoot, Sunspot, and Baby Moony Day. We’re just going to a quidditch match.”

Sirius gave Remus no confidence but there wasn’t much he could do. Both you and Sirius had gotten it in your minds to go attend a quidditch game… in Norway. If he wasn’t teaching again, he might have gone with you. Instead, he and Harry were taking the train back to Hogwarts while you went to Norway.  

~~

You stood on stage, not exactly comfortable with all the flashing lights. A ceremony was being held at the Ministry now that your father was truly dead. You thought that you were just going there for Harry and the other Order members that had been at the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. You were until Kinglsey Shacklebot suddenly called your name.

Passing Olivia to Lyall Lupin, you made your way to the platform. Your entire body was shaking— for once because it was actually cold— as you listened to Kingsley read off a list of accomplishments. You weren’t sure when spying or taking on someone else’s child as your own became an accomplishment but the Ministry seemed to think so.  

They presented you with medals and awards. Many of the Order members scoffed because medals, being awarded the Order of Merlin, didn’t erase Azkaban. It didn’t erase the lack of a trial that would have shown you were innocent right away. The public seemed to think the same. You were pretty much looked at with pity all the time. Your hands were full with awards and the three medals hung around your neck. The public gave endearing looks to your shark smile when you were told to pose for pictures. Your mistaken sentencing was going to follow you forever. You stepped off the podium and walked straight to your husband.

“I want to go home,” you told him. “I want to leave now.”

“Alright.” Remus nodded. “Let’s go home, we don’t have to stay.”

~~  

Lupin looked at his class with a tilt of his head. “Sixth year is when we teach dementors but a good lot of you have seen and dealt with them more than you should have. So, today, I brought a guest.”

The Golden Trio sat up straighter when you entered the room. All the students suddenly sat up. Lupin’s classes were always good but this was interesting. You took a seat in the chair at the front of the room that seemed to swallow you up. You had to tell yourself they were children but that didn’t stop your leg from shaking. Remus came from around his desk and took Olivia from your arms. He bent down to press a kiss to your forehead.

“You can do this, Sunshine.”

You looked at your son, Harry giving a small nod of encouragement. The students watched you shake and for a moment Remus was worried that him asking you to come to Hogwarts was over the line. Your fingers trembled. Your hand reached into the sleeve of your top and pulled out your wand.

“I still can’t do magic very well. That’s been the most devastating part. It’s coming back slowly but it doesn’t make the fact that I can’t do much now any better. I went from the top student to unable to cast a simple charm. That’s just one effect of the dementors. Azkaban is… It’s a place that shouldn’t exist, not in the conditions it’s in. It’s a cold, dark place. A place that’ll make you beg to take the Dementor’s Kiss to get out of it.”

The students listened intently as you told your story. You didn’t feel better as you told parts of it that no one had heard before. It only felt more real. Remus watched you stand up from the chair in slow motion. He could tell you were drained. The class was dismissed. As overprotective as he could be, Remus actually let Harry take Olivia around the castle. Your husband pulled you into a hug when the room was empty.

“I love you.”

Remus looked down at you. That was the first time you said it without pausing or stumbling through it. The first time without having to explain it through comparisons of butterbeer. The corners of his eyes crinkled up as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“I love you too, Sunshine.”

[improbabledreamgirl]

attention, those who create fanart/fanfiction for good omens!!

i have a long list of ideas that could be turned into some really cool things :)

insert the ineffable husbands into a fairy tale or old story!! for example: aziraphale is cinderella’s fairy godfather and crowley gives the prince the god-awful idea to find a girl by seeing who fits a shoe

crowleyxaziraphale on the titanic!! (i’ve seen little comic panels based around this and it’s so funny to think of)

crowley goes to live in america for a little while and convinces aziraphale to visit (obviously this would be in some kind of historical setting, maybe the 1920s? perhaps crowley invented speakeasies. maybe he’s a flapper too! everyone thinks that he’s two separate people, “those ginger twins,” but he really just changes his look for the occasion)

crowley accidentally starts a cult that worships him during the 60s

aziraphale’s time as a knight of the round table (it would be cool to think about what that was like for him…and if he possibly had other encounters with the black night)

i don’t know why but i feel like crowley and aziraphale hanging out with da vinci is a super cool idea

what if crowley started a band? he was super bored and decided to be a rockstar (at least, that’s what he told aziraphale. the truth is that he wanted to see if his angel would be impressed)

i really want to see a drawing of crowley as a 90s it girl or a 20s flapper

crowley, aziraphale, anathema, and newt on a double date. it was aziraphale’s idea and no one wanted to hurt his feeling so they agreed, but it’s super awkward because they don’t actually know each other

crowley and aziraphale in ancient settings!! imagine them in greece or rome or norway (plot twist: *loki is based on crowley. mischievous, gender fluid snake?that venn diagram, my friends, IS A CIRCLE)

*not to disrespect norse pagans, i just think it could be an interesting way to incorporate it into the good omens universe. i’m open to being corrected, though!