#nooo ur not stupid lol
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jimmyandthegiraffes · 1 year ago
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Absolutely weeping over a 60s tv show nobody else cares about
#I don’t know. there’s a lot to unpack#I just watched the one with the aviary#and I’m just rly emo abt jeannie/marty#they are both so fucking unhappy sometimes#I feel like sometimes it’s easy for the audience and for Jeff to forget that like#he’s dead. to Jeannie he’s dead!!#esp since in the last couple of eps Marty has been so serious and not in like. his usual panic-at-everything way#but in a way that to me suggests that he’s just. really unhappy#him being excited to show Jeff he can move a cup and then Jeff dismissing it#and I feel like it discourages Marty bc he ends up thinking yea whatever he’s right it is a stupid thing to be proud of#and then obvs Jeff is like okay now I’m gonna have ur wife flirt with some other guy like#nooo stop that’s the thing he’s SENSITIVE about lol#even tho I firmly believe that Jeff is right when he says that Jeannie should move on#I just don’t think it’s time yet#idk I should channel this energy into fanfic lol but I don’t have time rn#so I’m just. spilling thoughts everywhere#the fact that Jean is consistently SO vulnerable to manipulation when it comes to Marty#and the fact that Pete and her other friends either are oblivious to that or just don’t care#like in that fucking party where she’s sat on her own and she’s So fucking sad#and none of them go to see if she’s okay#and when she’s like hey I’d Really rather not do any kind of seance shit#they’re just like whatever come on don’t wimp out#like. they know of course they know. they KNOW she was bereaved recently#why don’t they listen to her when she expresses discomfort#like obviously it’s good for Marty that she goes along with it in the end#but they still shouldn’t be pressing her on something which is CLEARLY an upsetting subject for her#idek!!#anyway whatever#this is merely a FRACTION of my thoughts. I am thinking abt this show SO hard lol#randall and hopkirk deceased
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monkee-mobile · 3 months ago
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oh fuck. read that tags maybe?? sorry if they’re incoherent. i also just woke up. but i have it screen recorded and it’s on my monkee google drive.
this is my FAVORITE djb&h concert. it will not be lost.
Someone doesn't want us seeing Micky being gay.
This video is now gone from YT.
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youtube
At least, in the states.
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heesdreamer · 2 years ago
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YOU MAKE ME
PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader
SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles
WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)
WC ➩ 17k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)
Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.
When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.
She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.
You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.
When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.
Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.
You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.
It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.
Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.
Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.
You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.
You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.
Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.
Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.
Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.
You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.
A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.
You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.
“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.
“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.
He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.
He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.
The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.
“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.
“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.
“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.
“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”
You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.
“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.
“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”
This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.
You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.
“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”
“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”
——
You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.
When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.
The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.
Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.
“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”
You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.
“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.
“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”
“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.
He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.
You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.
Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.
He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.
Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.
“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.
“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.
He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.
You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.
“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”
It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.
You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.
The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.
“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.
“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.
“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”
You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.
Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.
“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.
It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.
You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.
At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.
Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.
You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.
“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.
“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.
“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.
It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.
“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.
“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”
The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.
“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.
“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”
“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.
“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.
“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.
“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.
You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.
“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”
He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.
“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.
“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.
“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.
He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.
The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.
You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.
You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.
“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.
He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”
The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.
You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.
You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.
When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.
It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.
“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.
“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”
“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”
His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.
You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.
“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.
You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.
He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.
It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”
You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.
You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.
It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.
It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.
——
The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.
Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.
Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.
It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.
Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.
Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.
Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.
You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.
You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.
The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.
It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.
He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.
He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.
It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.
You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.
“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.
He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.
“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”
“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.
“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.
“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.
His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.
“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”
“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”
“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.
“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.
“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.
You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.
When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.
You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.
It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.
——
“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.
You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.
“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”
“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.
You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.
Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.
For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.
He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.
“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.
You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”
He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.
You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.
“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.
You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.
“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.
His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.
——
You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.
You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.
Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.
He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.
Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.
The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.
When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.
You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.
Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.
“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.
You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.
You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.
He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.
It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.
Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.
“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.
“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.
He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.
“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”
“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.
Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.
He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.
You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.
“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”
The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.
“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.
“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.
“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”
He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.
“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”
You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.
“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.
“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”
“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.
Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.
His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.
He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.
“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”
“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.
“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.
“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.
His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.
“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.
He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.
You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.
He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.
“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.
“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.
“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”
“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”
You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.
“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.
Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.
He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.
You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.
“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.
You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.
“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.
Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.
“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”
“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.
A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.
He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.
Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.
“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”
With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.
When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.
You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.
The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.
You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.
You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.
But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.
Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.
You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.
You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.
“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”
You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.
“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”
You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.
“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.
He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.
“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”
“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.
You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.
It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.
You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.
When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.
Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.
“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.
Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.
“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.
You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.
“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.
“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.
“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.
You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.
“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.
“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”
You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.
“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.
He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.
“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”
He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.
He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.
Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.
“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound
“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”
“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.
You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.
He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.
“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”
Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.
“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.
“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.
“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.
The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.
“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”
“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.
You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.
“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.
You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.
“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.
Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.
You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.
“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.
“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”
“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.
He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.
His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.
“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.
Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.
You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.
If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.
You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.
“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.
“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.
He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.
“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.
“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.
“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”
You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.
You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.
“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.
“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.
It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.
You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.
You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.
He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.
——
You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.
The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.
You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.
“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“
“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”
He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.
“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.
He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.
“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.
“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.
Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.
You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.
“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”
He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.
“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”
“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.
“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”
He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.
You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.
The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.
“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.
“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.
“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”
You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.
How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.
“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.
You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.
He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.
You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.
“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.
You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.
Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.
He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.
You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
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radioroxx · 5 months ago
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*slides you $500 in monopoly money* spare deets about the isafrin kids? i love them soooooooo much and would love love love to know even more!!!
like!! how did they get wished into existence? were they just There one day as small kids, or did they come as babies? did aurore come first and then eile? and isafrin!!! they look different!!?!!?! love love love love postcanon designs and would love to hear your thoughts on them (and! their bonding earrings??)
I WROTE THIS OUT AND REALIZED HOW STUPID LONG IT IS SO. ITS GOING UNDER A CUT. WOWZERS
Ok first- WISH BABIES!!!
uh. uhm. uh
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ahah. oops!!
though we did get to discussing a few options after getting this ask (more like. i. asked them. and they provided. im not the thinker in this group. hehe!)
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(@chromatasia )
for context on this one- i believe a while ago we also talked about wishing involving sacrificing? the idea of givinf up a piece of yourself (sometimes physically, like hair) to help power a wish! or link yourself to it?
a second option (three whole screenshots…)
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(@unregisteredskybox )
carve your own baby!! yay!
general idea for our fankids though is that yes, they were created super young. and as babies. so aurore wouldve been crafted a few years before eilé :)
so yea ur two options <3 pick i guess lol. i dont have a solid idea there.
the second half of your questions- yes!! isafrin! theyre older and different!! wahoo!
the older isafrin designs were moreso. i wanted to have a little fun and made them. lawl. but now i get an excuse to share anyway :) so here!!
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numbered the details to make it a lil easier. also dont mind these r quick scribbles,,
1- general outfits and stuff. siffrins i wanted to keep mostly similar to how i usually draw them. sleeveless top, horrible and unnecessary amount of belts,, knowing that hes maybe not as eager to change as some others might be. they are comfortable in their style and thats what matters. for isabeau i wanted to keep a familiar vibe, but still change it up. i think he would still wear clothes that are flowy-er etc etc, buuut yeayeayea. not an outfits guy really so jfkf theyre pretty simple.
2- themb!! they look different! siffrins hair is longer obv obv, and no lightless dye anymore. they tie it back usually, but he still likes it long. also some facial hair. important to me. (you may also notice lack of eyepatch,, personal hc that siffrin gets more comfortable without it after making up with bonnie some more. that he maybe depending on it a lot because he thought it would make them uncomfortable, which theyyy dont have to worry about. anymore! so less eyepatch. sometimes still though). isa on the other hand looks mooostly the same! except. ofc. bigger beard. you guys should know i love my beards by now. lawl. other than that mostly the same,, physical pain in me trying to think of a different hairstyle for him… maybe in the future but for now he gets This.
3- new cloak-thing for sif! his regular cloak is probably much more well suited for the travelling lifestyle, much less the domestic stay-at-home lifestyle, soo they changed it up! (and totally not an excuse for isabeau to try out craft stitching nooo definitely not as practice for the future whaat who said that.) they will still wear the old cloak occasionally, buuut not as often as they used to.
4- finally! bonding earrings!!! yes! the designs themselves are pretty simple. squares and change symbols for the design sif made for isa, and a star with bits that go ding-ding that isa made for sif. more importantly, siffrin carved the earrings himself! it is. hard. to do that. a design that is so small. there were many failed attempts and scraped ideas but they got it done! and isa loves them very much. for isas design, the main star part is glass, and the dangling bits are carved gems (picture isabeau, panicking because this is siffrin hes making these for so it needs to be perfect. and he gets odile to help him, because despite all the teasing she is ofc very fond, and helps him out with that aspect of the design.)
ok thats all - bye bye bye
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theplatypusblue · 9 months ago
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COMPILING ALL LEGENDS OF CHIMA SEASON 1 THOUGHTS BELOW THE READ MORE (super long post, written as I was watching)
(I can be a little mean but I promise I’m having fun lol)
Episodes 1 + 2:
Man this shits super boring.
Idk if I can get behind craggers plot line tbh. He’s too much of a dumbass for me to really root for him.
The lore seems really cool so far. I like the settings and the stuff about the legend beasts.
Like?? Forest full of trees that just fall down all the time? Epic.
Legend beasts are especially cool cuz it means this is how Chima characters react when seeing a regular ass lion for the first time:
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Episode 3:
Man Laval really fucked everything up.
I have a feeling all of cragger’s dumbass-ness, like, transferred over to laval and now we’re gonna be seeing him making all the dumbass decisions
The only thing I really care about here is the b-plot about Gorzan and his flower. More engaging than the main plot
Episode 4:
Prediction about Laval replacing Cragger as the resident dumbass seems to be coming true
Gorzan is quickly becoming my favorite.
Oh hey look it’s the beavers!! I remember they show up in that one episode of ninjago. I had zero context for what they were all about then but now I know!!
Episode 5:
The gorilla tribe seems like the most chill out of everyone. Gorillas 👍
Can I just say I hate the fucking skunk. He sucks.
Honestly kind of a nothing episode
Episode 6:
Eagle spire does that cool thing where all the buildings are built on super scary precipices. There’s literally a post going around about this exact thing but I can’t find it rn
Oh so the eagles are just a bunch of nerds. A little weird I guess(?) I feel like eagles are usually symbols of strength n stuff so that’s different. It’s giving cloud kingdom.
“Wing girl” tf kinda nickname??
Apparently the ravens are double crossing everyone but I have not been paying close enough attention to what’s going on to really process that
Ok so it was all an extremely convoluted way for the crocs to get everyone to fight each other. And the ravens tried to profit but they’re kinda stupid so nothing really worked out for anyone
Episode 7:
Purble moon??? Epic
Man the bears are so epic just like me fr
Nooo don’t mess w the gorillas they’re so chill :(
I am entirely uninterested in the 100 year full moon skunk fart lore. Sorry.
It’s a little strange and maybe I’m hallucinating but I feel like the animation has has somehow gotten better?? Like the lighting or smthn…. Or the facial expressions???
Oh….. skunk fart lore is plot relevant………
Now that I’m thinking… is that the only skunk in chima?? Cuz rn it looks like just the one guy
Episode 8:
Oh it’s a big boy chi
There’s a fucking peacock?? Don’t know how to spell his name. So wait if he wins who does the chi go to?? He gets it all to himself?
Oh wait nvm it’s probably a cragger thing. Mr. Peacock comes back after retirement or w/ever in order to do some evil shit with the crocs I get it I get it
Gorzan I love you
WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY?? Is it a pig? A warthog??? It’s giving Mr. E vibes.
Man idk this episode is structured rlly weirdly. Nothing really fit together very well. It’s alright tho.
Episode 9:
GORILLA EPISODE?? Let’s go dude
It funny cuz I feel like gorillas aren’t actually this mellow irl
STOP FUCKING WITH THE GORILLAS CRAGGER I’LL KILL YOU
Oh hey it’s our mystery mans. Oh nevermind he left again.
There are balloon plants?? Oh yeah those are the things they were using in the other episode. Sorry I wasn’t paying attention to anything else that happened.
Episode 10:
Uhh I forgot to take notes while watching uhhh
The fox guy was cute. I like a little fox guy
This episode managed to make me feel a little bad for cragger!! He wants to do a good job but he kinda sucks at everything :(
It also made me confused abt cruller!!! What are you doing w ur life girl!!!!
Kinda messed up how the wolves had to serve the crocodiles tho… probly for the best she threw away that pledge
If Laval’s dad is right when he says they’re not gonna race for chi for a long time, I’m guessing they’re not gonna do any more racing episodes for some time. That’s fine honestly.
WAIT THAT RHINO GUY’S DYING. Oh nvm. This whole situation is cringe I hope it’s a one-off thing….
Also I forgot everyone thinks craggers parents are dead but really they’re just chilling in that canyon. Kinda funny actually
Episode 11:
Oh man the wolves are fucking everything up
“We all gotta stay here till the walls are fixed” bruh just call the beavers or smthn
Man what is the deal with this shadow wind dude.
If there’s one similarity I could point out with ninjago, it’s all this talk abt ~the balance~. I guess it makes sense since they take place in the same universe, technically
These bears are so cute lol napping does solve everything so true
Episode 12:
Jets travel super fast in the air. If they’re going through a storm Laval should totally be dead by now
Cragger is setting boundaries!! We love to see it. Cruller is acting pretty cringe. In her ~~girlfailure era~~
Is Laval gonna fall in this gorge?? Oh yeah he’s gonna fall in this gorge
Noooo Gorzans underwear is gonna tear
It’s a little sweet how Laval still wants to help out cragger
Episode 13:
I guess I’m still not super into cragger but I pity him a little. He’s trying his best but he’s just a bit stupid. And also his sister sucks ass
Okay. So she may be cringe but cruller is living her best(-ish) life.
That wolf is wearing a really cute apron
Man they were bringing up Shadow wind earlier and I thought they were gonna reveal their identity but now I’m a bit disappointed…
Laval is being peak dumbass rn I kinda like it. “The warm milk of oppression” lol
Episode 14:
“You bears think you’re so clever” bro they are literally asleep I don’t think they give a shit
I think the thing with Cragger is that I absolutely hate him when he’s under the influence of the flower thingy. He’s unlikable in a not-so-fun way, but he seems much more cute/compelling when he’s normal lol.
Oh my god they’re getting back-alley chi lmao
Oh is everyone gonna think Cragger did this on purpose. That’s sad.
This Reagle(?) guy is really silly I like his design a lot
Ohhhhh the wolves are gonna plug the fake chi and become chickens. It’s not a Cragger-might-be-evil thing. Gotchaaaa that’s cute
Seeing Cragger and Leval act like buddies again is genuinely nice they’re friends :)
Episode 15:
Eagles are based communists that live in the sky got it 👍
Cruller stop fucking with the gorillas istg.
Okay what the hell did burning the flower do. Is that like taking an inhalant
The ravens attempted to use the eagles’ based communist values against them. However, they didn’t realize that the eagles are boring as shit, and don’t “own” anything cool in the first place. Based communist eagles for the win.
Okay wait is Eris liking the rhino like. A brand new development or was it hinted at before?? It’s been a hot second since I watched the last couple episodes
Also I recognize that animation from the Ninjago season 5 finale lol
Episode 16:
Man I just hate this stupid skunk
This fog of destiny stuff is really goofy looking from the outside lmao it’s hard to take serious
So it’s like. Making them entirely delusional or something? Some of them are acting the opposite of how they usually do, but others are having like, delusions of grandeur. Idk how it works exactly
Laval there has got to be a smarter way to wake them up. You keep getting thrown into the lake…. Oh my god is the skunk gonna fart again. If that’s literally how they wake them up I’m gonna be so mad.
Oh okay thank god I was wrong.
Oh wait it randomly made cragger evil again. Man come on.
Cruller you stupid dumb idiot lmao get wrecked honestly
I hope the skunk dies like actually for real
Episode 17:
Oh shit Lavals dad also had a best friend that did shitty things and eventually grew apart from?? Damn.
Also Laval in exile time!!! Hopefully this will be cool
Eh. It’s not so cool with the skunk around
OH SHIT is the shadow wind the guy that was exiled before??? Ohhhhh
Ahhh okay Cruller backstory time. Damn girl was getting compared to her sibling straight out the egg. Didn’t even have a moment to spare there huh
Noooo Laval you just enslaved the wolves again by giving him the treaty. That was like the one cool thing cruller manages to do
Oh. I guess the exile thing literally didn’t matter at all lmao kinda underwhelming
Episode 18:
Lol so Cragger is such a dickhead now it’s even causing his stupid ominous dream to take notice
Okay so the floating mountain that gives everyone the chi also makes you on fire when you touch it. Chima world building really is epic man I gotta include random cool shit in my stories once I get around to writing stuff
This definitely feels like part of a finale lol maybe we’ll finally learn what the deal is w shadow wind
Andddddd the chi’s all fucked up now
Episode 19:
Tbh I would also be kinda mad at the lions like. They had no idea what they were doing or if it would have any negative consequences.
Man the whole thing with the wolves just kinda. Fizzled out huh? Like a few episodes ago they had ~all the chi in chima~ and now they’re all like “idk man why don’t we all just get along” lol
I love the attitude of just asking the beavers to fix the mountain. Like let’s just chuck a couple of construction workers at this malfunctioning holy site that’ll probably work
Episode 20:
I’m guessing this is the finale?? Let’s see
Laval looks so weird without his little crown thingy lol hes so square
He’s definitely not dead tho
CROCODILE LETS GOOO!!!!! EPIC!!!
OH UM. Okay well that complicates things. And there’s like a million other questions we still haven’t answered but ok. I guess all of that other stuff can wait until later????
I thought the eagle guy said chima only had 2 moons left before everything fell apart?? So they really gotta get the ball rolling on that one uhm. Oh well.
**EDIT** Last time I posted this I thought it stopped at episode 13 for some reason?? Tubi is stupid; thanks to the person who pointed out the actual episode number. I’ll probably stop here for a while, sorry it took so long to update this lol. My initial thoughts and feelings haven’t really changed all that much, so I’ll keep them as they were:
I definitely feel like it’s a show that doesn’t have super strong characters. I think it would better if the show leaned more into the world it’s created instead, if that makes sense. Maybe later the character writing will improve a little bit, and I’ll changed my tune. But!! Who knows. I’m having fun with it.
Idk when I’ll get to season 2, cuz I get super busy sometimes (I started this one a couple months ago but couldn’t finish it till now ugh) but I do want to continue watching!! Eventually!!!
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chososcamgirl · 2 months ago
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NOOO I WASN'T HATING I REALLY ENJOY SJAP!!!!!
help i reread my ask too and i was like oh cos i did sound very condescending LOL.
i really like matcha meditation because my best friend and i went to go get ours together !! she got coffee break lols
THANK YOU !!☹️☹️💗 no i understand now a million apologies to you angel😓 ur totally fine and okay im just stupid sometimes LMAO
aww that’s so cute !! OOO i haven’t smelt coffee break i lowkey need to go to the mall and smell it… but i feel like he’s such a by the fireplace guy as well or jazz club.. 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️
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dollivication · 4 months ago
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HELLO BEAUTIFUL
First of all I LOVE HOW YOUR BLOG LOOKS 💋
I will click on the ads, I admit want the risk of getting a virus on my computer 🖐️
Gurl I've been very busy I wannaa diee :3 like- give me a rest like- the eternal rest
AND YOUR BOTTSS??
I can't wait to see the obsessed Nero and V bot, Im gonna say to them a lot of controversial thing 🥴 but I came here to share something wittt yuu
Girl my brain is fried and I haven't been able to think of anything else but Leawn being unfaithful
HEAR ME OUT PLEASE
I loved Leon's bot being a drunken unfaithful but imagine this...
Suppose this takes place in a world where the outbreak did not happen.
He and reader have been in a relationship since they were young maybe 18-19 years old until they have 21-22, they love each other so much that even reader agreed to go whit him to Raccoon City and they both live together like newlyweds.
Everything is flakes on honey until Leon starts coming home late, he starts to be more volatile, he no longer want hugs, kisses or even making love with reader :(
And she's like- well he's the new rookie it must be hard BUT NO THIS BITCH IS EATEN IN OTHER FUCKING TABLE
When he walks into RPD a secretary starts flirting with him and well, he thinks that since he's young and handsome, why not have two girls? UGH I HATE HIM I WANNA CHEW IN HIM
Obviously, Reader finds out one way or another and tries to confront it in an adult way and even tries to give him another chance but this bitch is so asshole that he prefers to insult her and act like he isn't doing some wrong even kicking her out of the house to bring in the other woman.
Obviously Reader is devastated, she ends up going back to her city, she returns to her parents' house until she recovers and well in the end things go badly between Leon and the new woman, He stopped being the novelty at the station, the girl got bored of him and in the end he was left looking like an idiot throughout the station for having been so stupid as to have fallen for that.
At first the only thing he misses about Reader are the acts of service but after months he starts to miss everything about her, he tries to contact her but obviously she doesn't want to do nothing with him!
Finally she answer a call, you know, curiosity lol
And he tries to get her back but he gets a NO to everything but- she agrees to one more night and what better than baby-traping her? He will act all kind and carefree saying that he just misses the sex
I just know that he would be capable of doing the stupidest things to get back the life he used to have lol
Damnnn This ask is too long and doesn't even make sense I'm so sorry beautiful 😞
-🌮
HAI 🌮NONNNN !!!! AWWWH NOOO I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS !!! and your words tickled me so unbelievably pink…,,;; uwaaa thnak yu very much…🩷🩷 AND THIS GOES SO HARD??? KISSES UR FOREHEAD
HES SO SICKNESS!1!11!!1!1! PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE I UNDERSTOOD EVERY BIT OF IT! i wont him so bad… BABYTRAPPING BECAUSE HE NEEEEDS to feel something again :(!!! he’s just big and greedy… LMFOA
he’s just laik a wet dog…. leon refuses to take any L’s, so the moment he notices that hes just kind of being put on the backburner in everywan’s lives, he goes to the 1 person who he knows DAMN well has too much of a good heart to refuse her old sweetheart! even if he’s done her wrong…. KILLHIMOHHHMHYHJJH
i fear i havent much to input,,; it’s literally idyllic sugarcube >.<!!! leon is so stupid dumb dumb idiot… he isn’t even ready to be a dad yet! he just needs you to depend on him again so he can revive the feeling of being wanted, even if that means forcing you to take his cum deep inside your pussy.
on the brightside, at least he’s yours again,, right?…
HES SO LOONY LAIK.. SHE ZONT WANTCHU NO MO LIL BRO 🔥🔥🔥 thnak yu for this crumb of thought…. nibble nibble LMFAO…🩷🩷
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wendytestabrat · 2 years ago
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it’s all kyle’s stupid fault cartman dated heidi in the first place
it fucking pissed me off how kyle acts all butthurt when cartman ended up with heidi and tried sabotoging their relationship and acting like a total victim like doesn’t he realize HE was fucking responsible for cartman ending up with heidi??? like LOL kyle was the one who got all the other boys all riled up to break cartman’s stuff & cartman was reasonably hurt and betrayed by kyle for that. in the beginning of s20 cartman tried being friends with kyle and he asked kyle to help him take down the troll bc cartman knew this was something kyle would be good at & care abt too but then kyle had to be a fucking snake and assume cartman was the troll and break his stuff. honestly cartman had every RIGHT to be pissed off like he should’ve never talked to kyle again after that LOL kyle is fucking lucky that cartman ended up forgiving him for that and trying to be his friend again. cartman ended up going for heidi bc of how sad & lonely he was bc all his “friends” stabbed him in the back and she was the only one who showed him any care and also heidi apologized to cartman for blaming him for being the troll before kyle did even tho kyle should’ve been the one running to cartman and apologizing right away not heidi bc he broke his fucking stuff. and then heidi was the one who ended up helping cartman take down the troll which he originally wanted to do with kyle so then ofc kyle is butthurt that cartman is suddenly acting all good and doing this philanthropic shit with someone else LOL. but get over urself kyle that boat sailed for u in the beginning. and kyle was sooo upset to see cartman & heidi together right when he decides to swallow his pride and finally apologize to cartman but it was fucking entitled as hell of kyle to expect that he could just go up to cartman like days or weeks after he broke his shit to give a half assed apology and cartman would just forgive him and everything would go back to normal in their toxic ass love hate relationship (even though part of me thinks during that scene kyle was apologizing and being vulnerable bc he realized his feelings for cartman finally and was expecting more to come out of it). & he’s all surprised cartman moved on before he did and spent all that time hanging out with someone else like does he just assume cartman has 0 life and is totally incapable of getting a girlfriend? like that pisses me off it shows how toxic kyle is to cartman and how it’s like he thrives off of trying to see cartman fail. and cartman also handled things surprisingly maturely after they broke his stuff he didn’t get revenge or anything he just realized they aren’t his friends and distanced himself from the guys which is honestly what i would do too LOL. and it’s like kyle could not be happy for cartman either like if he was really sorry he would’ve been more supportive of his relationship with heidi considering he hadn’t done shit to her yet until s21 (ugh i fucking hate s21 bc it ruined all the character development they had set up for cartman in s20 by just making him act like a shitbag to heidi out of nowhere). bc that’s what real friends do they act supportive of ur success and are happy for you when your life improves. but nooo kyle just doesn’t know how to accept the outcome of his own fucking behavior and doesn’t understand that his actions have consequences and he doesn’t get to act however he wants and expect everything will just work out for him.
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having-conniptions · 1 year ago
Text
Love In The Air episode 4 live reaction under the cut (long post)
"He hasn't eaten since yesterday" RAIN NOOO BABYYY
Rain's little "mmm" noises when he's eating please he's so cute
RAIN TELLING PAYU TO KISS HIM AGAIN YESSS YOU GO BOY
"You shouldn't come here anymore" HE'S TRYING TO PROTECT RAIN, THIS IS HITTING ME RIGHT IN THE KIMCHAY FEELS (having kpts flashbacks)
And Rain's literally begging him to keep letting him come over 😭😭😭
I think I just need a second to process that we've gone from "Rain challenging himself to make Payu fall in love with him while pretending he's not interested in Payu at all" to "Rain slowly realizing that he wants to spend time with Payu and kiss him and yes he's serious about this"
All thanks to Payu going full daddy mode alternating between "dominant seductive bad boy" and "loving caring boyfriend" which is just too much for Rain's little heart bitch I'd fall so fast too I get it
And yet Rain pretends he's still into Ple and not interested in Payu lol
Sky is the bestest friend. We all need a Sky. <3
HAHAHAHA SKY GETTING CHILLS AFTER HIS CHEESY LITTLE SPEECH PLEASE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
They're both just staring at their phones waiting for a text from the other aaaaa
"I still don't know if I like him. All I know is... I don't wanna give up." Boyyy this is not about the challenge you put on yourself anymore. This is not about not being called stupid anymore (because you know he means cute). You can barely contain your giggles when he does or says something sweet. You've been melting under his gaze since the beginning. This is not about proving anything you just want kisses and cuddles and that's fine honey go get ur man <3
Sky being the bestest friend again I love himmmmm
Rain Sky friendship supremacy
Damn Payu that's cold (and I know you don't wanna be like that)
He just sits outside hahaha Rain is a smart boy
And a little brat
DID YOU JUST CALL HIM AN EYESORE YOU BETTER TAKE THAT BACK SIR OR I'LL-
Bratty baby Rain is everything
Not Payu telling his brother to tell Aon to tell Rain he can go inside lmao he can be such a tsundere
"Who's smitten with who, exactly? The lovestruck one's not the boy but you, Big Bro." HE'S RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT
The sound effects in this series are on point btw
Awwwww Rain sleeping all disheveled on Payu's couch while Payu uses little sticky notes to make corrections and suggestions on his project <3 boyfriendsssssss
"Smart boy" AAAAAAAA 😭❤️
The slap on the belly lmaoooo
Interrupting brother nooooooo xD
The fact that Payu actually made sure to tell Rain that he called him "smart boy" aaaa my heart
Rain you can't make that face and still say you don't know if you like him
AWWW THE STICKY NOTES WERE ACTUALLY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
He finished two days before the deadline!! I have a feeling something is gonna go wrong, please tell me nothing happens to his model
He spends like 5 seconds in his own bed before hauling ass to the garage
PAYU ASKING RAIN IF HE'S GOTTEN ANY SLEEP AND HAVING SOMEONE PREPARE A BED FOR HIM SO HE CAN NAP WHILE PAYU WORKS what in the healthy and wholesome-
They're soooo boyfriends
Awwwww finally another kiss!!!!!
Ooooooo I'm so proud of Rain my babyyyyy
Oh nooo Payu's phone battery is probably dying and he's leaving the charger at the office and now Rain's waiting for him in the rain 😭😭😭😭😭
WHOA
There is not enough water in that tub how are they not freezing
WHOA
Broooooo Payu had a condom hidden under a toy car by his bed? Smooth.
WHOA
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atlasmothsilove · 7 months ago
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ATLAS INFODUMP SPEEDROUND GO!!!
1. who is/are your comfort characters)?
entirety of wondersho, Reki Kyan, Hatsune Miku
2. lighter or matches?
Matches. Lighters scare me a lil
3. do you leave the window open at night?
No. Too lazy and loud
4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?
Bigfoot and Nessie. they're prob just chilling
5. what color are your eyes?
Brown technically but i'd say black yea
6. why did you do that?
im evil
7. hair-ties or scrunchies?
Neither. my hair is too short
8. how many water bottles are in your room right now?
three. i forgor to take them downstairs and theyre all empty
9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?
i domt like coffee (when i get i usually get it hot)
10. would you slaughter the rich?
yes what type of stupid question is that
11. favorite extracurricular activity?
karate (its the only one i havent dropped out of)
12. what kind of day is it?
eepy 😪
13. when was the last time you ate?
likeee an hour ago??
14. do you love the smell of earth after it rains?
yes 🤤
15. are you a parent? (all answers qualify)
ex parent 💔💔💔 i had to give away my fish 🥲🥲🥲
16. can you drive?
I cry right after but yea for the most part!!!
17. are you farsighted or nearsighted?
no
18. what hair products do you use?
uhh this one cvs shampoo idk
19. imagine we're at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?
i kinda suck at it but sure!!!
20. do you say soda or pop?
soda
21. something you've kept since childhood?
this one cat beanie boo
22. what type of person are you?
Bloom says: Silly stupid lil guy /aff super fuxkjnb talented and the best pillow (you are made of melitonkn istg)
GF says: silly little critter (can and will wield godlike art powers to strike terror into the hearts all), i need to beat you up and swing you around aggressively/aff
🥹
23. how do you feel about chilly weather?
Im constantly cold but i love jackets but also i have oretty bad seasonal depression so it all kinda cancels out neutral
24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?
looking at the veiw and/or blasting music and/or peoplewatching. If ur Ari then we are kissing
25. perfume/body spray or lotion?
Lotion! Cetaphil 🤤
26. a scenario that you've replayed multiple times?
got kissed goodbye on the cheek and i giggle snd kick my legs whenever i think of it
27. about how many hours of sleep did you get?
two hours last night i think (i was reading atla fanfic lol)
28. do you wear a mask?
not a whole lot anymore
29. how do you like your shower water?
i need to be boiled alive
30. is there dishes in your room?
not anymore 🥳🥳 the last ones were there for two months
31. what type of music keeps you grounded?
Mikumikumiku just any super guitar heavy or hyperpop jpop song actually
32. do you have a favorite towel?
no
33. the last adventure you've been on?
iii dont remember :/
34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?
a lot of them 😭 like basically every english song in my 28 hr playlist + the kaguya openings + deep coma
35. what's your timezone?
EST
36. how many times have you changed your url?
none. i love atlas moths
37. someone in your life, other than a relative, you've known for 10+ years?
uhhh nooo i dont thinkso?
38. a soap bar that smells good?
any sandalwood soap 🤤
39. do you use lip balm?
i forget but i always have it in my bag
40. did you have any snacks today?
hello panda cookies 🔥
41. how do you take your coffee?
uhh idk. Bru instant coffee w a lil sugar and a lot of milk 🔥
42. an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?
twitter. dare i say its more godforsaken than this
43. what's your take on spicy foods?
yummi (through tears)
44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?
my dad
45. can you remember what happened
yesterday?
i drew and played minecraft and i played piano and i played rythym game and i drew and got carpal tunnel and i read fanfic and i slept
46. favorite holiday film?
santa paws
47. what was the last message you sent?
talking to bloom "im doing the thing i need answers as well" for this post 😭
48. when did you first try an alcohol beverage?
i thought the whiskey on the counter was sweet tea when i was sick and couldnt smell and i took and entire gulp
49. can you skip rocks?
yea!
50. can i tag you in random stuff?
SURE!! im not a huge fan of tag chains tho but evrything else is fine!
TAGS. UH IDK IF U WANNA CONTINUE THE CHAIN GO FOR IT!!! @ EVERYONE
here’s weirder asks
who is/are your comfort character(s)?
lighter or matches?
do you leave the window open at night?
which cryptyd being do you believe in?
what color are your eyes?
why did you do that?
hair-ties or scrunchies?
how many water bottles are in your room right now?
which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?
would you slaughter the rich?
favorite extracurricular activity?
what kind of day is it?
when was the last time you ate?
do you love the smell of earth after it rains?
are you a parent? (all answers qualify)
can you drive?
are you farsighted or nearsighted?
what hair products do you use?
imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?
do you say soda or pop?
something you’ve kept since childhood?
what type of person are you?
how do you feel about chilly weather?
if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?
perfume/body spray or lotion?
a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?
about how many hours of sleep did you get?
do you wear a mask?
how do you like your shower water?
is there dishes in your room?
what type of music keeps you grounded?
do you have a favorite towel?
the last adventure you’ve been on?
is there a song you know every word to by heart?
what’s your timezone?
how many times have you changed your url?
someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?
a soap bar that smells good?
do you use lip balm?
did you have any snacks today?
how do you take your coffee?
an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?
what’s your take on spicy foods?
you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?
can you remember what happened yesterday?
favorite holiday film?
what was the last message you sent?
when did you first try an alcohol beverage?
can you skip rocks?
can i tag you in random stuff?
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kulliare · 2 years ago
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1, 14, and 22 :)
the character everyone gets wrong
i've been here trying to think of a character for awhile now but i can't rly think of like a situation where i'm a fuckin pariah waving like. my little torch being like u fuckos are fuckin insane bc 80% im like, i dont even know if my interpretation's right.
i'll say i USUALLY have this feeling less with characters who are assholes or at least appear it. like usually for fic with jaime (asoiaf), the ones i really loved were the ones where he was just saying something unforgivable at the start or just outright cruel because that automatically got my brain going Yes. like ritchie is not like jaime exactly here but in my head he's easier to nail because he's more loud & defensive and i find his speaking style easier to think abt bc... idk i talk like that lol
but i haven't really had a character that scratched my brain like carmy for awhile who's a bit more subdued, so it's a bit harder for my brain to be like, "i like that" vs like the sense of "oh my fucking god you guys are stupid" when reading a take i horribly disagree with. i didn't answer the question! i spent too long on this so this is all ur getting sry
14. that one thing you see in fics all the time
i have nooo interest in 'x you' fics and i want to block them so bad. i can see the appeal but please i dont even want to interact with these guys i am a boring woman who vaguely has her life together and these men would ruin it
22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
i am liable to focusing on the Sadness but i also love the Joys. would love more the bear fic that focuses on the joys. that time when tina went to carmy with the apron was so sweet and i hope there's more moments like that featured in show/fic (i still enjoy the fics where carmy is like. im literally SOOOOO SICK rn and i don't know how to deal/ ask for help with that. but part of me wants to see how carmy reacts when he realizes he feels better and/or happy, and dealing with the fear and anxiety that comes with that rather than pure suffering. starting to realize i like long fic that's self indulgent in this way haha)
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kosi-annec · 2 years ago
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BNHA season 2 stain arc next! The second half of the season~
My review of Season 2 part 2:
Oh boy, every introverts worst nightmare; social interaction. If I was in deku's situation, I would've acted like I didn't knew wit the man was talking about www
Iida stop lying to your friends please TOT
Yay aizawa isn't a mummy lol. I still can't believe deku only got 1 offer, like cmon, even zero has more than him. Also, mineta shut the fuck up, like you're any better
LMAO aizawa warning them to be careful with their choice of hero name cuz of his own experience
Hero name time!! Omfg aoyama's hero name I can't 😭😭 thank you tsu for being normal www
Aww lil deku comin up with all might themed names, tho ngl a lil embarrassing if he chose one of em
Ok the fact that denki knows who Hemingway, an American novelist, shows that he might not be academically smart, but he's not entirely stupid. Headcanon that he reads english books on his free time
Hhhhh great flashback to tensei q-q, nooo iida pls you deserve to take on the name
LMAO bakugo not being able to keep a hero name he's came up with 😂
Mineta, why tf are you still here... Ofc he'd go for mt. Lady
Pft all might being terrified of grand tornino, wonder how hard his training was under him
Oh god... Iida off to do a dumb decision...
Hhhh iida pls they're your friends, but this is what happens when you're being powered by the need for vengeance
Omg I forgot about the first introduction to grand torino LMAO and him pretending to be a feeble old man with a bad memory, he's an old gremlin that can kick ass, he's like yoda but sassy www
And now deku getting his ass handed to him, srsly how tf is his back not broken, I mean with the speed grand torino goes at, it would at least crack somethin
Ah yes, bakugo and best jeanist, good luck in trying to stitch in some manners in this boy lol
LMAO poor Momo and Kendo, thinking they'll get to do some action pact crime fighting stuff when in actuality they're just gonna model
Oh boy, endeavor... Yeah you tell him shoto!!
Deku treating his quirk like something that isn't his makes a lot of sense, since he's never really had a quirk before so he doesn't really see it as an extension of himself. Gotta love seeing a protagonist that's powerful but obviously has a long way to go and still needs training to hone their skills
BAHAHA BAKUGO'S HAIR 😭😭
Oh shit, the whole nomu situation and the multiple quirks thing. I kinda feel bad for the people that get turned to nomus, like pretty sure they didn't want to lose all sense of self
"Someone as crazy as this" that's rich coming from you shigaraki.
Oh god iida no... I get ur going through some emotional shit and want justice, but u don't wanna be a murderer, even if this is a villain
"We're not going to go after anyone that big" ya jinxed yourself grand torino
Thank you mister blue guy that iida is interning under whose name I can't remember for trying to put some sense into him
OH SHIT TIME FOR SOME ACTION! GO KICK SOME NOMU ASS GRAND TORINO!!
Iida nooo he's so tunneled vision for vengeance...
Endeavor is a terrible parent, but dammit he's good at his job as a hero, minus the being nice part
I still don't really see how tensei wasn't a good hero, I mean from what I could tell he was definitely living up to the title of "hero". No matter, DEKU ZOOMING IN TO SAVE THE DAY!! YEAH SHOTO ALSO COMING IN TO SAVE SOME ASS!!!
EW OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT CLOSE UP ON THE LICKING EW
God this whole fight is just amazing, this is where deku and shoto become actual friends and iida gets some sense into him
Shoto and iida bonding over their shared past narrowed tunnel vision out of absolute resentment
"BECOME THE HERO HE WANTED YOU TO BE" now look whose giving the inspirational words! Shoto has learned a lot from deku lol
YEAH GET UP IIDA BACK ON YOUR FEET SOLDIER GO SAVE SHOTO FROM GETTING AMPUTATED! Oh and a cool kick flip too!
iida as the legs, deku as the arms, and shoto as the body, love these 3
Ya know, I realized that they still kinda treat nomus as if they're actually human, like they still arrest them and try to talk to ee. Which ig makes sense since there are mutant quirks and anyone can look like anything, so the whole reveal that nomus aren't human - well not anymore at least - would be a much bigger deal, even though it is kinda obvious
"My friend might be in danger" THE FIRST TIME HE SAYS THEY'RE FRIENDS YESSS
Ok damn giving some vocals onto endeavor's song aight then
Gotta appreciate that the pro heroes, adults, are being responsible and making sure the interns, teenagers, are safe. Yeah they're hero students, but they're still kids
"Our fight against the hero killer probably only took about 10 minutes" that was only 10 minutes??? Damn time feels a lot different when kicking ass huh
OH SHIT FLYING NOMU! OH SHIT DEKU!! OH GROSS THE TONGUE!!! OH FUCK STAIN TO THE RESCUE??
Oh boy stain's final speech... And also creepy ass face reveal, never noticed he doesn't actually have a nose
Oh lol it's the dog man cop www woof
I get that they're trying to avoid the abuse of quirks (which feels a lil dumb considering what happens in the future) but also, iida was going to die along with that other pro hero, like what else were they going to do?? They're kids yes, but the fact that they are means that using their quirks was literally the only thing they could do. Also mentioning shoto's dad like that really didn't feel necessary jeez
Lmao yeah shoto, the dog cop would've started with that
"Was that a boy~" LMAO GUNHEAD
Hhhh oh boy, these children need therapy I swear. But thank god for shoto breaking the ice, the hand crusher www
Oh fuckkk stain inadvertently helped shigaraki get what he wanted, which I think might've not been wat he meant to do but oh well
Now time to see everyone else's internship!
Bakugo my dude you are not cut out in making the public feel safe ya dumbass. Uraraka learning hand to hand combat! Poor Momo and kendo, barely get to do actual heroing. Tho the same could be said for kirishima and tetsutetsu, but at least it's an activity that's actually helping the community. But hey at least jirou seems to be actually doing some action pact heroing
Froppy your sense of cute is very different from everyone else's, including mine www
LMAO BAKUGO'S HAIR 😂
Denki thinking stain was cool, another lil tid bit of info in the suspecting he is the UA traitor
Eyy spiderman doing what he's good at! But deku's learned a few new tricks too- oop and he slips lol
WHY IS MINETA STILL HERE?? HE IS A HAZARD TO PRIVACY I SWEAR
Ah time to drop a info bomb. First time we actually get conformation and explanation on nomus, one for all, and all for one
Looking back on all this, I realized just exactly how much pressure there is on deku, like he's being entrusted to defeat this who-knows-how-old villain and he's just 15 like boi
Ah yes, Mt. Lady and Midnight interaction. Mineta fuck off
Huh didn't realize that the ranking thing was actually from midterms, thought that was the actual ranking of the written test. Lmao gotta love momo, we all need that smart friend in our life. Oh I did not notice this lil kiribaku interaction >.> tho that's a good way to make him tutor you www
Monoma has a really interesting way to show his concern for the safety of his people when it comes to the danger 1A attracts, like he said it in a way to insult them but he was also pointing out how if they keep this up they'll be endangering those around them. But they can't really help it tho, so he can't be mad at them for that, just his feelings of rivalry getting in the way as usual
Bakugo at it again with his anger issues and overachieving complex (is that what you call it)
Written exam monologue~
LMAO NEZU JUST CHILLING IN AIZAWA'S SCARF THAT'S ADORABLE
Teaching them that retreating is a valid option is really important, because they gotta learn that retreating can be used as a good strategy to get reinforcements when they're in a fight they can't win. A lesson bakugo really needs to learn
Kiri & Sato vs Cementos. Gotta say, they weren't very smart on how'd they deal with cementos. Like, he clearly has the advantage in this scenario
Tsu & Tokoyami vs Ectoplasm. THE HYBRID DUO!! Bird man and frog girl! "Tho apparently after a 2nd or 3rd song in karaoke, that number goes up.." LMAO WHAT I NEVER NOTICED THAT. Huh, I always thought tokoyami could do the whole fusing with dark shadow the whole time, or maybe that's my gold fish memory failing me. Oh hey! Tsu did actually ate the handcuffs, like it was shown for just a short second. Lmao gotta love dark shadow's personality
Iida & Ojiro vs Power Loader. LMAO OJIRO RIDING IIDA I CAN'T😭 and iida basically being a beyblade and yeeting him too www
Shoto & Momo vs Aizawa. Dawww momo... Her insecurities and doubt be hitting her, damn that's a mood. Oof, yeah aizawa has a point, shoto need to learn better communication with his partner and momo's gotta learn to trust herself again; not comparing herself to someone completely different. YASSS GO QUEEN!! SHOW EM WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF!!! Lmao, shoto no she's just tearing up a lil, she's not sick
Uraraka & Aoyama vs 13. PFFT I DIDN'T REALIZE AOYAMA MADE A PUN. Ah yes, the moment uraraka realized her feelings, thanks sparkle man. "I'm a mini battle hero" lol yes you are
Mina & Denki vs Nezu. God those 2 didn't stood a chance, like what were the teachers expecting. BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CASUALLY MENTION NEZU'S BACKSTORY LIKE THAT😭
Jirou & Koda vs Present Mic. OH DAMN THAT IS LOUD, RIP MY EARS. As much as koda's charades were funny, would've been nice to see him doing like JSL or something, like would be in character and some neat representation, oh well this is why we have headcanons. Hey, just cuz koda can speak with animals doesn't mean he has to like all of them
Hagakure & Shoji vs Snipe. Still find it fucking hilarious that this man's quirk is the power of glock, like it's not even an mutation, he just carries a gun. "YOU'RE A STUDENT I RESPECT WOMEN" LMAO SNIPE 😂😭 AS HE SHOULD
Sero & Mineta vs Midnight. I said it before and I'll say it again, why tf is mineta even here, he is a menace and a danger to the safety of the girls, like bruh. If he's gonna be in UA at least show him getting into detention for his behavior. Huh, lil bastard finally gets what being a hero is about, tho he still has a long way to go on the character development, like idk respecting boundaries
HOOO BOY IT'S THE BIG ONE NOW LETS GO
Deku & Bakugo vs All Might. THE MAIN COURSE HAS COME. God dammit bakugo, please I get you wanna win but you can't beat all might, for fuck sake get it in ur head and stop thinking with your ego. Hold up, why does a building have denki's name lmao??? BAHAHA LOL DEKU PUNCHING HIM, BAKUGO DESERVED IT. You said it all might, these 2 really need some counciling like boi. OOF HOW ARE THEY BOTH STILL ALIVE LIKE THAT LOOKED LIKE IT COULD'VE KILLED THEM?! Bakugo is someone that wins the way he wants to win no matter what, and deku is someone that just helps people even if they don't ask for it, this is just who they are. This is why they clash a lot, and a few other reasons. Tho they'll learn to have some equal footing, some day
LMAO deku with his ass up, and damn bakugo looks so peaceful asleep tf??
IT'S FUCKING DABI, hello missing todoroki child (started as a theory and is now confirmed, thanks spoilers) tho gotta say his voice isn't as deep as I remember it
Shopping montage✨ omg mineta PLEASE, WHO INVITED HIM??
Jeez shigiraki's theme song thing is creepy as hell. OH FUCK IT'S THAT CREEPY SMILE HHHH
Hol up it's only been 3 months since class started??? Damn, feels a bit short
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candyredterezii · 5 years ago
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boy I sure wish I could ask for help for things I don’t understand without fear of being reprimanded like “DO YOU NOT KNOW??” and basically be treated like I’m stupid or wasn’t paying attention when I need things explained to me more than once to understand them.
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sm0kingcrack · 3 years ago
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anyone else want to confess that they acted out a fanfiction trope in middle school to confess to ur crush because it literally fucking haunts me bro
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luvbrie · 3 years ago
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TXT REACTION . . . to you getting braces ?!
PAIRING txt ot5 ( separate ) x gn!reader 
WARNINGS nothing, txt might be a little ooc pretty much just comfort/crack
WORD COUNT 1.2k words — bulletpoint scenario 
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c. yeonjun !!
when you first show him...i think he would laugh NOOO
he immediately reassured you that he's not laughing in a derogatory way
he thinks you just look adorable??? like wow you actually make braces look CUTE
apologizes a lot after the incident 
but yeonjun is yeonjun n he'll start complaining about it because it's harder to kiss you now :,)) 
you think after a while he just learns to live with it... 
No.
he is GENUINELY upset about not being able to kiss you properly 
a whole year and a half (maybe even LONGER too?!) without a kiss? yeonjun's not having it
he'll remind you to floss after every meal so you can get that tooth prison out of your mouth asap!!!
will prop get whiny if u tell him that you forgot or sum LOL 
"my love. do you understand the torture that stupid metal teeth straighter puts me through?? i need that thing off before i go insane and YOU NEED TO PLAY YOUR PART IN IT!!!!" 
overall he is just a simple man who wants to kiss his lover :,) whipped af i swear 
c. soobin !!
doesn't really think much of it tbh 
he visited you after the appointment and he didn't even notice honestly LOL 
kind of good for you? because you were slightly embarrassed ehe 
but when he offered you some chips you declined and he was like ????? but it's ur fav 
and then he remembers 
you nod and give him a big smile to show him your braces
and like HE MELTSSS WHY DO YOU LOOK SO CUTE 
he has this really loving look in his eyes and :,) he just loves you wow
he often forgets about your braces but reminds you to floss and pops into the bathroom whenever you do 
u ask him like ? hey binnie what's up do u need something
he'll give you a back hug and pinches your cheek when you're done with your regular cleaning 
"no, i just think you look cute with your braces. :)" 
just a very supportive boyfriend who loves u very very much !!!!! 
c. beomgyu !!
ASSHOLE
all he does is tease u istg this man
ofc he knows like not to be too mean but omg does he EVER SHUT UP? 
obviously the answer is no.
though contrary to his present behavior, when you first showed him he lowkey did not care HELP 
he's like "oh cool. how long do you keep them on" 
he didn't really comment on it but gradually he got more used to seeing them so he started teasing you about it more 
ofc he knows never to go too far with his teasing, but if you ever tell him you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable with something he said
he will kiss all over your face n start telling you how perfect you are too him and his little butterfly pecks will NOT stop until you're a giggly, smiling mess 
he'll randomly grab your face (gently, of course) and push your upper lip n start pinching ur cheeks cuz he thinks ur flustered reaction is TOP TIER 
he will absolutely make a ton of "brace yourself" jokes.
despite his relentless teasing, he does not let ANYONE else tease you for ur braces . not even yourself 
you could make a quick comment like "lol my braces look stupid" and he's like
"what the hell. no. what? what are you talking about. you literally look fine. you're gonna be taking them off anyways?? don't talk about yourself like that" 
n you just gotta take it cause it's beomgyu why complain 
k. taehyun !!
pleaseee when u first tell him ab the braces this man is like "ah. nice" 
then you SHOW him and he starts ....bitching about the color you chose HELP 
it's like a consistent thing tho LIKE even after a month or two he'll keep mentioning it 
u have to physically shut him up by giving him a "gentle" slap to the neck but even then... 😞
he'll prob mention it every now n then after that period but it won't be as bad
there was a time where you guys were having a movie night with just the two of you 
n you were so invested in the movie but taehyun himself just could not get into it. maybe it was the genre (he was never one for sad romances)
but that led to him watching the much, much more interesting beauty in the household, which was you 
the way your eyes were so focused and you leaned in when there was a particularly suspenseful part; the way your hair fell ever so gracefully in front of your eyes only for you to just as gracefully push it back...
it was like he fell in love all over again
it was such a sudden surge of emotion. the fact he could call you his? he considers himself blessed 
it wasn't until he blinked did he find that you were staring  right back at him, tilting your head at his silent admiration 
it took him maybe a second too long to realize what was going on but he didn't look away. he simply said,
"you should've done a different braces color."
h. kai !!
an honest one here tbh 
you'll show him your braces and he'll be like "oh! they look nice on you... *adverting eyes SWEATING nervously looking EVERYWHERE BUT YOU* 
LIKE LISTEN.... 
it's not because YOU look ugly ... it's the braces...
he will ABSOLUTELY make that clear though 😭😭 he loves u ok ur adorable pls don't think much of it 
if u ask him for encouragement, he'll be the one that's all "it's okay... they'll be off soon.. they aren't permanent love..." 
if he's feeling particularly playful expect "i feel your pain. i have to look at you like this all the time you know" LMAOO
it's clear that this boy is no fan of your braces 
both of you guys are young so i think he'll let you eat whatever you want tbh, he doesn't feel like he needs to monitor you eating. he thinks it's a tad bit weird actually
unless it's something too squishy/sticky, because he knows that those are rlly hard to clean from your braces 
that being said, i feel like he would have this cupboard in the kitchen of a bunch of your favorite snacks that he's banned you from eating for the time being
he told you that he'll let you eat ALL of those snacks the day your braces come off. but only if you keep away from those same snacks while you have your braces on
everytime you slack off n eat something you're not supposed to, he takes a snack from the cupboard and eats it right in front of you LOL 
it actually does help haha
you bet that once your braces come off, you two will have a late-night picnic in the park, eating all those snacks and eventually leads to you two invading the playground at like 2 a.m 
it's just a vibe. kai is your vibe, as you are his! u two just complete each other. he's just happy to have you. <3
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moonchildstyles · 2 years ago
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since we’ve talked about angel not being a pet name using kind of gf, i feel like she’s one of those gfs that’ll randomly get kinda hyper and be a bit annoying LOL. like she’s just playing and h never gets annoyed with her but she’s just poking him and saying his name over and over like “hiiiiii h” while koala climbing all over him and he’s like 🤨 what r u doing i thought i only had one kitten now i have two???? just want me to play with you huh silly girl
wait stop it omg shfushfushfu like I can see this when she gets like really sleepy like the way that makes you real.ly giggly and think stupid stuff is really funny and just want to talk to someone and maybe its been a long day at school and then the library between her classes so shes all h!!!!! and hes like yesssss?????? and shes like just wanting to talk to him and getting on his lap like hi:) and hes indulging her ofc giving her a little kiss and hi honey:) and she just h:)))))))) and y/n:)))))))))) and she pokes at his dimple like baby what are you doing hm????? climbing all over me being all sweet whats going on??? and shes like nothing nothing just wanna talk!!!! and hes like hmmmm are u tired then????? acting just like evie when she gets sleepy wanting to play around even tho shes really just too tired to relax and shes like nooo im not tired:( and he holds her tighter kissing her nose like idkkkkkk angel seems like ur being a tired kitten to me hm silly girl? and its just soo flusteredy to hear him say things like that:(
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