#none of which seem very likely. if im being fucking honest
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i am so goddamn scared i’m never gonna be able to get the help i need. and doctors see this and refuse to acknowledge it’s from an observation of my reality rather than the pathology itself. which obviously makes their care ineffective. which keeps feeding the fear that i’m never getting help. and the hospital taking longer and longer and longer to give me a psychiatrist appointment obviously gets me even worse.
#it’s a fucking snowball#the longer they take to give me an appointment the more scared i am of it because i have more time to think about how i have had one single#good experience with doctors in my life#which makes me overall less able to think clearly which makes me afraid i’m not gonna be able to think clearly and explain myself during the#appointment. which in turn makes me afraid i’m gonna be treated like oh you just have a little dysthymia#i am fighting for my fucking life here and do not know what to do#like there’s to options. either i get properly treated or i try to get on disability#none of which seem very likely. if im being fucking honest#three options actually. the third one is rot and die
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Do you have any Ocs you’d like to talk about??
oh boy do i
im gonna introduce my scrungly my poor little meow meow my pathetic loser the love of my life. Arvid Sheldon Moreno <3
ill add trigger tags too of course but just in case: warning for abuse, violence, death, and kidnapping
first of all i am a Terrible artist but here's a commission i got of him from the lovely jester @/ghostcasket (with commissions still open here is the info post. go commission them he's wonderful)
anyways. ARVID. basically he's a second generation oc from the project me and the other mod have. he is like. 3/4 alien?? something like that. but he was born on earth and that's where he grew up.
his parents are lovely and perhaps very strange but they are so good to their kids. Arvid is a mama's boy in particular he is very close to her and very protective of her.
so. what's wrong with him then???? surely he has Every Problem Ever. well he does. when he was a kid he didn't really have any friends. he was outcasted and bullied from various sources but none more so than Alex. fuck Alex we hate that guy.
Alex caused problems for Arvid basically his whole life. he was harassed and followed and beaten and manipulated and. well a lot of things!!
Arvid met and became friends with Izan who was infinitely better for Arvid and nicer and they were just really close. however that didn't stop Alex from being an asshole ya know. and it got even worse when Izan broke off from Arvid due to trying to manage his own trauma of a recent event unrelated to Arvid's stuff
so what did Arvid do? he clung to Alex and they became "friends". during this time Alex really drilled into Arvid's head the idea that he shouldn't cry, that he was weak, that no one else could tolerate him, and Arvid believed it all. things escalated until Alex and one of his other friends attacked and stabbed Arvid during a time when Izan and Arvid were trying to patch things up. and they left him there.
Izan got him help, but Arvid refused to let Alex get into trouble. in fact he had a strong fondness and loyalty to him and so what did he do? he confessed that he was in love with Alex. and Alex, ever amused and delighted by the power and control he had over Arvid, accepted his confession and they started dating.
and they didn't break up for a really really long time!
however this is all the backstory info! (well not all of his backstory but Some of it) this isn't even taking into account the story events! the story events being Arvid and his entire family gets kidnapped and taken to an alien planet because these fucked up brothers were trying to get and erase information on the esp experiments that happened during the first generation (meaning the things Arvid's parents went through) and. well long story short Dawson (does anyone remember when i talked about him?) was forced by his older brothers to kill Arvid and his mom. fucked up!!
but it's okay, isn't it? yeah Arvid comes back to life thanks to a wish made by Dawson on this super powerful wish granting magical rock. and they all live happily ever after on earth!
but not really.
when Arvid gets back he discovers that in addition to being brought back to life, he's now immortal. which is the LAST thing he wants because he didn't even want to be brought back to life if he was being honest. and Alex being the wonderful person he is decides to use this to his advantage (basically isn't it fun to kill your boyfriend over and over while he remains blindly loyal to you? Alex seems to think so)
however Arvid has other relationship drama going on. he has feelings for soo many other people but didn't feel worthy enough to be in a relationship with any of them. why would anyone ever like him back ya know?
except a lot of them did like him back. a lot actually. and Arvid starts dating others and building this lovely little polycule of people who really and genuinely love and care about him. and it takes a long time, but eventually Arvid breaks things off with Alex and tries to be happy. key word being that he tries because sometimes he doesn't do a very good job of it. he's still got it in his head that he deserves to suffer and will go on self destructive spirals now that he doesn't have a boyfriend beating him to shit constantly anymore.
some fun facts about Arvid is that he's a supervillain. i mean not Really a supervillain but he's a loser and tells everyone that he's evil. type of guy to steal from large corporations but not from local places. but this is all evil deeds he swears it. he also has plans to take over the world which he only shares with people he really trusts. he's so lame <3
he's also extremely emotional and will cry really easily but. well due to Alex Reasons he will belittle himself for showing sadness. he is obsessed with people seeing him as strong when his 5'3 ass can't even open a pickle jar
Arvid is also very very soft and sensitive about bugs he loves bugs!!! they were his best friends back when he didn't have any friends and even now he still treats them so gently. it's a really cool contrast to his usual edgy personality.
also!! he has really bad luck all the time <3 constantly tripping over stuff and falling in puddles and breaking his phone and. other bad luck stuff.
anyways i hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings about my scrungy little guy
#fishe speaks#fishe ocs#love it when you guys ask about my ocs i have so many and so much to say about them all :3#abuse#tw abuse#violence#tw violence#death#tw death#kidnapping#tw kidnapping#tw knife#side note this is just a basic overview of arvid he has So Much more infos
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the troglodyte post is getting me bad cause it's so accurate to my life rn. At least my hopeful projection of my life as I'm in my troglodyte era. I started our uber competent cause of immature parents, working at like 15 and shit, and now im 21 and have been taken care of by my bf for 2 yeara lol. basically inernt creatively and professionally. how did you pull urself up and get to pre-god complex era that'd help a fellow biploar? thank you Ms. Glass Beach
i don’t know your life or anything but to me that sounds like you had to grow up fast & burned yourself out which is a super common & understandable experience… not saying it isn’t bipolar because a lot of what we call mental illness is the brain adapting to a life situation in a way that becomes a problem once the initial situation has changed. gonna be honest for me i’m like cycling every two weeks to a couple months or so, i have no control of it, and both extremes are pretty fucking awful. being at the top believe it or not is the absolute worst bc i feel possessed, i have no filter and can get very delusional so i’m constantly doubting everything i think and say. having the platform i do has led to some public embarrassment over that. i ride the waves, i don’t control them. i’ve been in a very low place for the past month and whatever the hell’s been going on with me was definitely in some way a ripple effect.
btw now that i’m exploring plurality a bit i am trying on the possibility of my manic episodes being a separate personality, that’s how it’s always felt anyway. i certainly operate in fundamentally different ways that contradict my usual convictions. the dr who diagnosed me barely got to know me & at the time i was eager to cherrypick facts to fit into that diagnosis but i’ve known there’s things that don’t quite line up. none of it is super hardcoded anyway diagnoses are just methods of understanding i think.
again i don’t know your life but it sounds like to me the best thing you could be doing is taking care of yourself. your 20s are in my opinion in large part about unpacking your childhood experience and seeing what coping strategies you don’t need anymore & giving yourself space to breathe. nobody has a perfect childhood & we tend to just tank through all the bad shit for the sake of survival to the point where it becomes repressed and doesn’t seem that bad until it just hits you out of nowhere as an adult. don’t worry about trying to achieve a whole lot creatively just do whatever bits you can here and there to keep yourself sane. you’ve got a lot of life ahead of you! <3
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rowan’s gmmtv2024 report:
hi everyone im back from my interview (i dont know yet but i’m hopeful, cross your fingers for me) and im supposed to take a nap before work but i have to yell a bit first you understand
(positives)
1. pluto……. oh my GOD
you guys dont get it i was Really into midnight museum june. i tried my best to watch a lot of things i really didnt like just for namtan tipnaree. i like her So Lots. and namtanfilm i just fully….. had no idea. absolutely none. but it works!! i love it!!! the plot is bonkers (your dead(?) twin was the girlfriend of a now-blind girl that you're lying to now?) and under normal circumstances i wouldnt be interested but namtanfilm Killed this trailer and i also know im going to have Bad second couple syndrome re: whatevers going on with ciize. i love ciize so much.
this was so so soooo good n unexpected . girls kissing onscreen at My gmmtv announcement? :') plus their bathtub scene & that princesses moment.. yeah. that fucks
2. my golden blood
photo proof of me going mildly ballistic about the rumors last week. i did indeed say a few unholy things shortly after this. and to have it be a VAMPIRE BL? gods save us all im going to be so annoying. i was a twilight kid you know it im going to shovel this into my face with abandon
im so down for vampire au fanfic main character princess gawin honestly. wanted by supernatural creatures for his sexy special blood! bridal carried! blood on his university top!!!! i love it i love it i love it
is this objectively a tad embarrassing? yes. are the special effects painfully cheesy? yes. do i care? no 💜
3. peaceful property
this was just so fun to watch the trailer :’) i really love the found family vibes i was getting plus the over the top ghost shenanigans. i’m a casual tay tawan enjoyer & i do really love jan (alex&nim / newjan in warp effect were very fun to me). the trailer felt very warm n fun and bright, so im down. im into it
4. the trainee
we are in “sure i’ll watch that” territory now instead of extreme excitement but i thought this trailer was really fun & cute. i love view, obviously, so the amount of screentime her character got was good for me, and im 👀👀 about those girls. and offgun’s relationship seemed really fun & genuine :’) this seems nice! dont let me down!
5. wandee goodday
i think this looks fun! its a higher heat but still silly, which suits, and it appears to have fake dating which is a weakness trope of mine. also this is one of my bingo squares (adult non-office bl) so yes absolutely ill watch this. thank you p’golf but Please can we get podd Something this time
(mixed feelings)
6. kidnap
i have notably dissonant emotions about ohm pawat (lets not get into it) but i do actually enjoy this kind of forced proximity plotline even if i fear what theyll do with the opening kidnapper/kidnapee relationship. i feel… Something…. about this? yes. something is being felt. there is hope for me here, maybe, perhaps. really though if they want to keep him they should give ohm a smiley role again someday. it feels like everything ive seen him in since bb is all…. violence generational trauma death etc (for the worse imo)
7. gemfourth kiekoi
i think they can do it and it’ll be cute... gemfourth suit aoki and iida well. its just…. i dont know, i have an instinctive ‘noooo’ reaction to this remake. i like kiekoi soso much and i worry a lot. it does not have the exact charm for me.
also for me i wanted something a little different out of gemfourth. they have the range. but again, i do think theyll do well enough with this? so i'm mostly just being..... idk. :<
8. we are
i will at the very least attend e1! but this is too many couples for me if im honest, and they dont seem to be gunning to do anything super interesting. i do love aouboom & i like pondphuwin a lot (i Love pond’s hair in this trailer btw bless) but …. im not invested enough to make it interesting on its own. and [pouty baby voice] i wanted aouboom leads
(negative but ill try to be brief)
9. ossan’s love (the most negative of them all. look away. im so sorry earthmix i love you)
you guys are going to give earth pirapat a fucking complex before he even turns 30. he BETTER be playing haruta (i know hes not). this is just so silly!!! gmmtv doesnt deserve to have this one! this is not right for so many reasons but the most important is that they have no actual correctly aged men. no no no i am so so opposed. and theres not even a trailer 😰 you guys cut that shit out
10. ploy’s yearbook
looks…okay, its giving 55:15 a little bit, but the filmjoong adopted siblings romance threw me so violently that i doubt ill even consider touching it. absolutely not, you guys. gmmtv failing to be normal about siblings yet again! even though i like several of these actresses a lot i really.. i cant do it. also..... is earth a high schooler or is he forty.,, i feel like they're gaslighting us somehow. pairing him with namtan will not improve this situation for me you can't get out of it so easy
(miscellaneous extra commentary no one asked for)
11. only boo (?)
this looks cute? but not in a way where ill watch it unless i have nothing else going on. also unless im mistaken... was that milkbook??? innovation. love it
12. high school frenemies
those boys should be being gay about it instead of whatever shit they're actually doing. very nearly gayer than some of the bl trailers. i do not like this kind of genre thing but viewjune are there so ill still at least consider it.
13. summer nights
incredible how little i can care about something so fast. i'm not like, seethingly angry or anything but it's incredible, truly, how fast any trace of interest dropped away
i dont have anything else to say about the trailers! i will not be addressing the music here as it pains me in many ways.
finally, the personal elephant in the room: no firstkhaotung at all :< you guys know what i am, so obviously i indulged in a little dramatics about it this morning but i do understand. there's a part two that we've now been thoroughly assured they'll be present in, and also they have a show that's actively airing right now, so i'm not too worried. i did sort of expect a minor role for one or both of them at the very least though? but if they actually get a break out of this i'll be happy. please rest boys
(also khaotung on school rangers is, objectively, hilarious. sorry baby they're gonna make you do tasks)
okay! that's all! perhaps nobody wanted to know this
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maybe a discourse ask so feel free to discard but im wondering if you had thoughts on how dm-heavy c3 is? i see people hate that the plot is so plotty and the characters dont do anything outside of it but i dont like that people blame matt about it.
im publishing this one primarily because i do agree both with the criticism but also with not blaming matt for everything, because i honestly think c3s biggest flaw is in there not really being any attempt by the players this campaign to match dm energy.
i feel like vm was plot heavy but the players always had surprises & strengths that changed fate, and m9 was mostly player driven but matt rolled easily with punches. i get if matt is too railroady for folk right now, and i dont agree with every decision hes made (maybe not the best idea for them to have teleports so early), but it would be very easy for the players to engage in ways i think honestly none of them but taliesin and sommmmeeeetimes laura do, especially early on, which kneecaps it. until the solstice almost none of them want to engage in their backstories or even their own character concept to the point that was my earliest criticism, they dont really seem interested in marquet, and while i think it's been utilized as a plot device now, almost all of the bells having follower personalities means none care to make their own decisions, and the second one of them did we had fucking shardgate, so now it's seen as somewhat bad to stray (can i just say i am foaming at the mouth begging for fellow players like taliesin that are that risky one day in any campaigns im in, that was brilliant to me). while i think it was always intended to be a crossover campaign, it does at times feel like matt is key jingling for the cast to engage at all.
this is not a hate post to the cast but i think literally since the first episodes of c3, the opinion my closest friends and i have shared is that this campaign is kinda proof that them as their specific original 8 person unit needs to shift around. they are older & busier & more tired and to be honest i think there wasnt a lot of communication about c3 and its characters at all before it happened. i think if c3 was a book it would have shaken out great but as a collaboration it is odd - i think its collaboration with new stars has been absolutely amazing, where i find the og cast lacking in many ways.
#iiiiiiiiiim turning off reblogs i dont want this to turn into a controversy#just my opinion i dont want to fuel anything. i like the campaign okay#dont want to spread fuel to fire#asks#van speaks#campaign 3#critical role meta
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Is campaign 3 worth watching 😭 im somewhere near ep 45 and there have just been so many arcs that do nothing for me. The stakes feel absurdly high for uhh level .. 6? and i thought it would get good at some point but if they still cant make a plan by ep 80 i dont think i care to waste my time 😭😭
yuhhhh i don't know man. the malleus key and the fallout of it is pretty dope, and idk how many spoilers you've seen so i'll leave it there. but after that it gets very boring again i can't lie.
you're so right about the high stakes!! these characters haven't had any space to breathe or grow since like episode 20 or whenever it was they found out about predathos and the world ending. they've been chasing a plot they're not ready for without doing any of the character work that makes you care about their goal. it's difficult to see why the party is together in the first place because they don't talk to each other or have any reason care about each other (except fearne/orym and imogen/laudna but the latter is so bland it's actually painful).
the party doesn't gel, there's no motivations from anyone beyond orym having a personal stake in it. imogen is so wishywashy about everything. none of them care about the gods except FCG, and no one in the party cares about FCG. except ashton, who is played so passively and unpleasantly that it doesn't even matter. there's no caleb/vax doing his biweekly checkins with each party member to unlock new dialogue. there's no fjord/grog to make a buckwild (yet thematically relevant) decision to direct the party in any direction. there's no driving force behind any of these characters like sorry liam and travis, turns out if you take a backseat to let your friends have the spotlight, they will do sweet fuck all!!
another problem i think is how they're given so many pieces of the puzzle at once, whilst the big bad is already in play. i don't know if that was matt's intention, but it's led to them barely following up on any character driven plot points because, well, the world might end. so any extracurricular character development is nixed in favor of chasing a maxxed out uberbaddy who is almost definitely going to kill them. any cool character moments kind of happen in spite of rather than thanks to the events, and honestly feel a bit forced sometimes because the characters have all been so stagnant for so long, and honestly the most interesting things about the characters are their backstories, which have already happened. their current motivations are a mystery and none of them seem interested in learning more about each other. it just feels very awkward and stale.
PLUS, the stakes are absurdly high but also there are no consequences for anything!! laudna dying didn't feel important because it wasn't permanent! because they can apparently just ask a member of vox machina for a resurrection!!! absolutely bizarre choice from matt to allow that, if i'm being completely honest. like sorry i know that's your wife but marisha should be 40 episodes deep into her backup character by now because there's absolutely no way anyone in VM would agree to resurrecting a delilah briarwood puppet let's be so serious. the party (especially imogen) dealing with a PC death would have made for some really interesting development, and would have created an opportunity for imogen to either take a leadership role to get revenge on otohan, OR break bad and turn on the rest of the party. some delicious pvp. but unfortunately laura doesn't seem to know what to do with her character and therefore does nothing, so it felt extremely flat and meaningless, which kind of sums up c3 tbh. some of the highest stakes but barely a PC who gives a shit.
the past say 10 episodes have been a slog for only a handful of cool moments, so i really hope post episode 82 it picks up a bit. plot is fun and situations are fun but i'm struggling to care about any of these characters because it doesn't seem like any of the cast care about them either. which is a shame because some of them have huge potential, FCG is literally an aeormaton!!!! my god you have GOT to get into it. why is no one getting into it!!!! will someone PLEASE pick up what sam is putting down!!! the payoff is always so good!!!
#also if i were matt i would ban the use of the guidance spell#some of them just seem to only care about rolling high and winning d&d#critical role
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i dont think zzs has relationship ocd, but i can see a lot of myself in him. his insecurity regarding what other people (people he cares about) might think and feel of him, this obsessive need to find out the „truth“ and this almost conspiracy-like conviction that there always is a „hidden truth“ beneath. this crippling fear that others might lie to you and you might not be able to see it. this conviction that others lie, even when they do not, because the sincerity of their emotions, their honest expression without traps or fallbacks or holdbacks, is just too unbelievable to not be artificial. this seeing patterns where none might be, and obsessively following clues that might lead nowhere. thats why i prefer the reading that zzs essentially misunderstood both jq and ljx (ch.47 and ch.61 of qi ye respectively), and that for the latter, it signed zzs‘s downwards spiral. if u interpret their last conversation in qi ye as zzs viewing ljx as rejecting him and as all ljx does is trying to save him from himself and understand him, zzs‘s later habits post-tianchuang and how he views some of ljx‘s words from that conversation (ch.20, ch.27) (and the discrepancy as can be seen in ch.76 of qi ye in what zzs believes ljx‘s very last words on this earth were vs what they actually were, which lends strength to this reading as it fits the „theme“), his failure at reading ppl he feels personally a lot towards, even though he technically has all the facts or there might be an easier explanation that is not as abstract as the one he favours, makes a lot of sense. now, i have started a new reread of tyk and im seeing wkx in a somewhat different light. he is incredibly odd and off-putting and even i, who knows the final and should know his character, have a hard time getting a read of him almost all the time during much of their earlier interactions (ch. 6-13). what is wkx doing here? is he lying or does he believe what he says? is this an act or are his thoughts truly this jumpy? how much of his „im an odd ghost im odd“ persona is a persona, how much is a reflection of the truth? that means zzs‘s conviction that wkx is trying to deceive him is not that off-track, and considering that wkx gives me the strong impression that he IS instrumentalizing the one weakness he found zzs, that glib vagrant, to have (being flirted with), and seems to maintain it all the way until he realizes zzs is going to fucking die (ch.29, moment i personally view as wkx‘s breakthrough), im not even faulting zzs for, well, picking up on it. still. you can tell that his thoughts and his explanations are obsessive and self-destructive, that this is less about whether or not wkx is playing him, and more that zzs does not believe he is worthy of love and sincerity (ch.18, first time he actually spells it out). so, i do not think zzs has some type of ocd in that regard; he only needs a heart-to-heart with wkx and then he is „cured“ (ch.65). but i do think his narrative reflects a lot of what it can feel like to live with relationship ocd, to be in the mind of someone who has ocd, and all the convulted and bizarre actions and conclusions such a person is comitting and drawing, because of their twisted worldview
#tian ya ke#qiye#there is a slightly different interpretation ive been cultivating that overlaps with this one#but that does not read zzs as being ‚afraid‘ rgearding others#where potential misunderstandings might be not a source of any anxiety#and potential lies might be not destabilizing#like i dont think zzs is afraid or destabilized up there in my post either but i do think he is easily ‚turned‘#he is shy. he likes to believe others lie more than that he would believe they are sincere#and he spends too much time in his own head and too little with really talking to others#so. it is a little too easy for me to. project a little on him#(my theory is that zzs is actually a fearless motherfucker who is both shy and incredibly steadfast. what a fucking concept!!!)#zhou zishu#faraway wanderers#tyk#meta#lord seventh#wen kexing#liang jiuxiao#天涯客#七爷
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we were on the subject of vriska/dirk parallels a few days ago but i was too busy seeing le mis to talk about it but NOW THAT IM FREE. some thoughts i had
disclaimer: i am only about 60% confident in anything being said here and it kind of became rambly garbage, so feel free to (gently) disprove anything ive said, these thoughts are just rattling around in my brain
i definitely personally think that dirk as a character was initially intended to be a Bad Guy. who is in the Wrong. and i get we are generally dirklovers in this day and age but the thing is he actually kind of WAS a shit to a lot of people (mainly jake) and i mean there was a reason there was fandom discourse around him back when he first was introduced; there’s a reason that Ultimate Dirk is a path that was genuinely thought by a certain amount of writers to be a conclusive and believable route for his character to go
the reason i think this is like, A dirks general actions towards other characters generally being manipulative OR a bystander to manipulation (hal), and also B, hussies original novel where the dirk-like character is revealed to be a twist villain. hussie seemed to have a particular interest in writing about a gay love story in which one of the guys manipulates the other and then turns out to be the bad guy. and you can really follow that thread to the modern dirk character
the difference though is that dirk goes through an Arc. and even before that, dirk is hugely characterized by a strong love for his friends. like. dude fucking adores his friends and thinks none of them deserve him. and i think this is what makes him stand out immediately as different than vriska — vriska definitely acts out out of a need for attention and interaction, but it really seems like she wants any attention, and wants to bully tavros soley because she feels she has a right. (terezi is a bit of a special case here). vriska wants connection and friendship, and to be liked, mainly in general. dirk wants to deserve the three friends he has— he loves those three very specifically and deeply. this makes them extremely different off the get-go.
although we can draw lines from “asshole manipulates a useless page who doesn’t deserve it and gets dunked on by the narrative constantly”, their characters are really entirely different other than that
as for jake/tavros there’s a lot there, they are both confused the hell out by the romantic advances of both people. difference is that tavros never showed any want for vriska (until he was a ghost or something? the ghost plot lines always pissed me off ill be honest) while jake was interested in dirk and confided in other people about it.
i also don’t remember there being evidence of dirk manipulating jake to get stronger the way vriska did to tavros besides the robot? i think it was literally just the robot, which is kind of a one-time offense and, if i recall, jake wanted the robot for fisticuffs and was technically fully capable of turning the difficulty level on the thing down
the main issue was dirk and hal initiating that entire plan to get together with jake, which dirk did not try to rectify, and then supposedly dirk being clingy afterward which we saw none of
and for obvious reasons, the fact that they break up and dirk goes through a small arc about learning and wanting to try to be better obviously makes the Ult Dirk plot line feel like a slap in the face. i mean once dirk was a beloved character there was reason to give him a better ending than “asshole is an asshole”, and the arc he had, while minor was satisfactory for a lot of people, so the idea that it was all for nothing in post canon is obviously really shitty.
there’s also the fact that dirk and Jake immediately move in together at the start of post canon and start doing all kinds of weird shit which i definitely disapprove of when im like fairly sure what they needed was space apart and a little bit of time to socialize with other people??? but that’s technically part of post canon and a whole other can of gross worms the point of this post was.
vriska and dirk: not the same.
this whole thing became a rambly mess towards the end i REALLY should do a reread + deep dive of act 6 honestly because its my least favorite and i dont give it much attention
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well since you asked i shall not leave u in suspense hehe
my theory is that rinko is going to go with maki to the zenins post shibuya and that is when the naoya scene will happen and if that is right (if im wrong idc bc i know youre still going to make the scene amazing) i can see rinko really get into the fight esp with the way hes treated her growing up and the emotions post shibuya
also ! ik that these two are basically idiot in love with eachother but what would you say rinko and gojo’s type is?? and do they match eachothers type ??
Hello again Anon! I appreciate you not leaving me in suspense even though I have been leaving everyone in suspense 😂😂
I'm a wordy bitch so my answer is below the cut 🙃
Side Note: this post made me wonder, should I do a full profile for Rinko to give more information?? Would you guys like that?? 🤔🤔
Read Another Level on AO3 :)
Naoya dying in the same spot where he stabbed Rinko would be nice, wouldn't it?? Such poetic justice
Guess we'll have to wait and see 👀👀👀
Do they match each other's type?
Hmmmmmm this one made me think.
Personality wise:
I think Gojo matches Rinko's type very well: Confident, attractive, strong, and doesn't back down at all when she pushes or teases him. (it's also why she and Nanami get along so well.) But also caring and attentive. Gojo is very observant and it's something she really, really likes about him.
Rinko kinda made Gojo realize he does have a type lol and it's brats. His type is brats 😂😂😂
But really, his type is someone he knows is strong enough to handle their own in most situations. He likes Rinko because she can take care of herself 9/10 times but she isn't afraid to ask for help. She doesn't rely on him, but she doesn't completely shun his offers to help and that is why he likes helping her.
Essentially, Gojo loves a confident, capable, sexy woman who isn't afraid of seeming weak by asking for help
Appearance wise:
Gojo is everyone's type if we're being honest. But Rinko does mention that she finds his eyes attractive, mainly because she can read him so well when she can see him. The Six Eyes are beautiful, but she likes them beyond that, which makes Gojo very happy
She really (even though she won't admit it) likes when his blindfold makes his hair stick up 😂😂 Rinko also likes how tall Gojo is. That he can tower over her, but a lot of times chooses to slouch so that he doesn't is something she finds both endearing and attractive
Rinko is a Zenin, and she looks like one. Honestly, if you stand her next to Maki, Mai, and Megumi, you'd wonder how the fuck the clan ever thought they could hide who Rinko is. There's a reason that one person thought Megumi was her kid, he could easily pass for it.
BUT she also looks like her mother. She got her mother's height, so she's not as tall as the average Zenin, and her eyes are brighter than theirs. Gojo wasn't joking when he said she has her mother's eyes. So they're gentle and expressive, which, Gojo has now realized, he finds very attractive. She's also more bubbly and snarky than cruel and heartless like most of the Zenins 😂😂 which might not seem like a physical trait, but it's a body language thing. If you'll notice, absolutely none of the Zenins just fucking smile, it's always a fucking sneer or smirk or sadistic grin (i've been rewatching the anime and it's fucking true, dude) but because Rinko is so like her mother, her smile is genuine and it reaches her eyes and makes the corners crinkle as they light up when she laughs or when she's teasing someone.
When I picture Rinko, I think of an older combination of Mai and Maki, maybe slightly more feminine, with her mother's eyes, and a lighter stance. She purposefully remains physically open to catch people off guard, let them think her guard is down when, in fact, she is always on guard mentally. She can remain open physically because she always has a duplicate ready to swap with if danger arises.
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Anyway, yeah, this is my answer to this question idk if it made any sense at all though 😂😂😂😫 Did this make ANY FUCKING SENSE?? OR WAS I JUST RANTING LIKE A LUNATIC????
#gojo satoru x original female character#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru fanfic#gojo fanfic#gojo fluff#gojo smut#another level#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#sweet anons#sweet asks#another level ask#another level info#gojo and rinko#rinko kurisaki is a lil bean but also a lil shit but we love her so much#rinko kurisaki aka my favorite oc i've ever written#rinko kurisaki fanclub
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fav tbhk character??
SO!! I think you can predict that it's Mit2suba (and Sousuke/M1tsuba) , but respond it in that way is boring... I have to explain why,, in details,,, like the neurodivergent bitch I am ໒( ●ܫฺ ●)ʋ
█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓ [ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀ ᴍᴀɴɢᴀ ꜱᴘᴏɪʟ��ʀꜱ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ] ▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █
`✵•.¸,✵°✵.。.✰ 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 ✰.。.✵°✵,¸.•✵´
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Personally, most of what attracts me to him is the huge kin I have in this lil bud. as they say, an apple doesn't fall far from its tree.
But that's not the only reason why Mitsuba/Sousuke is my favorite character (of all time) the character is so well written that it hurts, I think he is one of the few best developed characters in tbhk, always with the MINIMUM details, even if you can barely see it (for example the big scar he has on the back of his neck, given by the form in which he died).
I MEAN. EVEN THE NAMES. THE DETAIL THAT M1TSUBA WAS SOUSUKE AND MIT2SUBA IS MITSUBA. IM GOING INSANE WITH THIS MANGA.
The "hostility" presented, just to not demonstrate how fragile he is; his great desire to have friends/be remembered but not being able to do this due to his problem of not being able to demonstrate his real desires... but if you really try to understand the character, you'll see that he is just a boy who doesn't know what he's doing with the life he's been given, and just wants to try to make the most of it in the best possible way, being himself without any mask to please people (kind of like Sousuke did when he was alive); being completely socially awkward because of the bullying he suffered...
Mitsuba is arrogant, foul-mouthed, and very confident in himself, especially his appearance, and often brags about how cute he is. He has a tendency to call people rude nicknames and is not afraid to insult, also showing himself to cry quickly, especially in threatening situations... he just wants to protect himself
Despite being this rude and noisy, Mitsuba also has a calmer side. He becomes visibly discouraged when talking about his past, feels alone easily, and although he seems to have difficulty being honest (choosing to use harsh words), he is sometimes able to genuinely express happiness and kindness.
And I think his personality actually just keeps things so good to read, I don't know why have people who hate him.
He's simply too good a character to be forgotten, don't you think?
`✵•.¸,✵°✵.。.✰ 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 ✰.。.✵°✵,¸.•✵´
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His story is almost one of overcoming, let's agree for love's sake.
Being Sousuke or Mitsuba, they both went through A LOT of difficulty.
He died after being run over on his mother's birthday while going to buy FUCKING POTATOES; he died being turned into a donut by a 13 year old being WHILE HE WAS TRYING TO BE SINCERE WITH HIS FEELINGS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AN ETERNITY; he died by Hanako after attacking Kou; Was recreated and disappeared due to the Severance, becoming FUCKING DORITOS; he died disappearing again in the aquarium date; AND HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO DIE NOW AGAIN BECAUSE OF NATSUHIKO.
WHY KILL AND REVIVE HIM SO MUCH??
WHAT IDA AND IRO HAVE IN MIND? going crazy/gen
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT HOW TSUKASA TREATED HIM ON HELL OF MIRRORS.
Not to mention the nightmare that was his life while he was alive.
"I tried talking to... every person I thought was my friend... But none of them knew it was me. ...Only I... remembered."
Imagine not having friends and being bullied for being the way you are, so you get all your shit together and try to be nice to people just so to you return from your miserable death and no one remember you? damn Sousuke.
Having the friendship that Mitsuba has with Kou knowing that he only sees him as his friend who no longer exists (Sousuke) is something that must haunt him, considering all the trauma he has about it in his memories, kind of distancing him from the only real friend he has now. (ofc that changes with time but ouch)
And when he died? was not remembered by those he considered friends.
That hurts.
`✵•.¸,✵°✵.。.✰ 𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕔𝕒𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕀 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 ✰.。.✵°✵,¸.•✵'
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AidaIro rescued Mitsuba in a way that many didn't even imagine possible. By transforming a simple spirit that wandered in an attempt to resolve its pending issues into one of Kamome Academy's Seven School Mysteries. It showed that even an apparently small character can stand out when used correctly. Mitsuba remains an arrogant, cocky, good-hearted boy who loves his camera. In a new background, the character gains new possibilities, not being completely tied to old events, giving Mitsuba an opportunity to not just be another tool of Yugi Tsukasa or an old friend of Minamoto Kou.
He's crazy, he's silly, he's effeminate, he's a gay boy in denial, he's cocky, he has a very strong personality, he has a lot of trauma, he causes me a lot of problems because he's my top kin who wins 1st place by a landslide, but he It's my favorite.
I also have other favorites in toilet bound hanako-kun, but no one can hold a candle to him. I love him so much and I just want him to be happy oml (ミዋ ﻌ ዋミ)ノ
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
#☆@mari-lair analysis mention ; @soiituko analysis mention; and short parts that belongs to the fandom wiki
#☆I'm writing for almost 3h so if i misspelled something, don't be shy, correct me!
#♡If you want to ask something, go ahead, ask box is open for literally anything
#♡opinions very appreciated!
〜ɢᵒᵒᵈ ɴⁱᵍᵗʰ( ᵕᴗᵕ)*・☪︎·̩͙
#jibaku shounen hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun#mitsuba#tbhk mitsuba sousuke#apparition Mitsuba#ghost Mitsuba#human Sousuke#mitsuba sousuke appreciation post#i said that i was a slow writer#noriusheretosipstea
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Dave thoughts? I'm very curious about your hatred for that guy (if that makes sense)
HAHA ok so admittedly maybe my posts about how much i hate him are a bit overblown because i basically think its really funny that he only comes up on my blog if i am being a hater. integral to understand that while i post "fandom" content on here that i dont really think of this as a fandom blog so much as a blog where i come to have conversations with myself and so naturally just bc of who i am a lot of my little posts are full of context and meaning i never bother to externalize because they are for me to reread later and have a little chuckle about.
anyways. theres a lot of reasons i find him grating but i can at least admit it that a lot of my annoyance has more to do with the way i was forced to slog through strider manpain posts endlessly as a teenager any direction i tried to look. when the fandom seemed hyperfocused on him and his woes while actively sending me like graphic gore at like age 14 for saying hey maybe this other character also deserves some sympathy and maybe even analysis that has more to say than why they are an evil irredeemable monster for being unstable as a child. which yknow that isnt daves fault but man even without that part it was tiring to see all of the emotional depth constantly boxed into his corner. and then to repeatedly have the comics itself affirm all of this as valid exploration and then ridicule me for My exploration. for many many years the strider manpainisms made me not bother with dirk just on principle even though today hes one of the more interesting characters to me! so i can admit im not being totally "fair" here but well. as usual i think the fandom darlings can handle a fraction of the disdain ive see thrown my favies ways constantly for over a decade.
and like none of that to say i dont Get why people do this with him or that he deserved anything he got as a kid or it wasnt abuse or whatever. let the records show that i think it is Wrong to terrorize your brotherson with swords and sex puppets. im a feminist.
more rooted in the reality of the comic itself though i just find it grating how often daves sole function in a scene is to be the authors mouthpiece and specifically often in ways where you are meant to implicitly agree with the things he is saying irregardless of whether they are a centrist gen x nightmare opinion because its also the larger opinion of homestuck as an entity. dave is far from the only character to do this and id say any of the characters you could comfortably refer to as the "protagonists" actually end up slipping into this fairly often. that said the other biggest offenders imo are karkat, egbert and terezi and i also have feelings of extreme ambivalence for terezi and to be honest an outright disinterest in egbert. so. i am at least consistent about it! karkats my special guy but i need him hunted for sport and tortured until he stops being this and largely the things he believe that make me feel that way heavily align with the opinions the comic depicts as mostly right and again tend to be moments hussies worldview is bleeding into the narrative especially openly.
anddd ok. i just find daves personality grating on top of it. i cant sit here and pretend ive never laughed at a dave strider dialogue but generally a lot of the parts people find very funny are parts i tend to come away having seen the thousanth iteration of dave having his worldview affirmed and getting to do some #awesome clapback at the person insinuating he even try to think outside of his own preconceived ideas about what things should be like. in general in a story so full of characters doing bad things it just grates on me that, while his offenses are certainly usually "minor" in the grand scheme of things, the lack of willingness to challenge them often just means like dave gets to be right and nobody remembers when he actually massively fucks someone else up or makes them feel worse. like to be clear none of this is a problem in that characters cant "do bad things", i literally like vriska, but it would be cool if we could at least like. acknowledge that theyre anything but entertaining even within the context of the universe where other characters should be allowed to be uncomfortable when hes actively creepy or uses their emotional breaking points as a soapbox for how He feels. but since it would cause this big rift in how homestuck itself presents the opinions it wants you to agree with, those characters just..... not only do not mind most of the time but even if they do its never in a way that allows them agency in the matter. thats the crux of it all for me actually, hes by far one of the most autonomous characters of the bunch and it feels frequently like his agency is at the expense of others because hes a self insert.
um ok tldr hes annoying and him being the Face of homestuck is like..... accurate but in the most painful nightmare way because he kind of just. Is homestuck. to me.
(and i actually do see iterations of him sometimes that i find compelling but they all feel so detached from how hes presented in the comic that it just feels like someones oc. all of this said also i actually kind of have an absurd amount of thoughts on how he would act post game (epilogues ignored here) just i dont bother to do much with em because dave likers would hate it and other dave haters probably wouldnt care enough lol. also always secondary info anyways, hes finally allowed irrelevency in My city)
#ask#dave#sigh. my initial write up was definitely more eloquent and had more Nuance about character fault vs presentation of those faults#but thisnis best i can do mobile bound and reeling from LOSING it !!!!
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my tamagotchi UNI review:
im so sorry its going to be long...
TL;DR it's good :3 if u want a color tamagotchi and don't mind spending 60 dollars (about what you'd pay for an after market tamagotchi ON/MEETS) i'd highly recommend it!
full review below cut
Aesthetics:
Let's be honest, the aesthetics make sense, but are still a tad disappointing none the less. they are going for a more gender neutral vibe this time around + trying to make it more similar to the way that the original tamagotchi shells look, rather than going for the hyperfem aesthetic, which I can appreciate. I just wish they made them more interesting. give me my glitter!!!!!!!!
Form Factor:
It is very much built to be played with the watch case on. Not a bad idea- but outside of the case, the buttons stick out quite a bit. I just hope they produce an official case that doesn't have the watch band attached- I'd love to be able to clip it onto my belt loop! I'm sooooo glad they continued with the rechargable battery, because it makes it so much smaller and better. It's even smaller than the smart- which to be honest, I wasn't expecting.
Engineering:
I'm so fucking glad they brought back the 3 buttons. They make it so much easier to navigate the menus. I got pretty used to the Pix's touch capacitive buttons though, and I wouldn't have minded them here- but I do understand that they were extremely hit or miss with people. (I do miss being able to do swipe gestures though. I guess that just means I need to play with the pix more.) I'm honestly incredibly glad they didn't do the touch screen here, because after playing with my smart for about a year on and off, the screen gets really dirty really fast. (not to mention the discoloration.) I'm also glad that on the official tamagotchi shell they didn't include any silicone- this pretty much solves the discoloration issue, and I hope that they sell more watch bands in even more colors. I dislike the placement of the lanyard/charm hole, I never really liked it being on the back, it should be on the side- otherwise it has a tendency to hit things, but I can understand putting it there. I do wish they upped the speaker quality though, the 16 dollar gigapet shouldn't have better speakers than the 60 UNI. I'll probably turn off the sound after a while. The speakers do their job regardless, since the tamagotchi has continued to stick to their guns and not have it play any noise other than beeps at various pitches. ALSO. USB C CHARGING IS A GAME CHANGER FOR REAL.
UI Design/Region:
The fact that this tamagotchi is not region locked is amazing. all tamagotchi UNI's share the same programming, and on startup you can pick whatever language and whatever server you want. The menus are pretty simple and not confusing, and I like a lot of the choices they made. It's not my favorite UI from a tamagotchi, but it's perfectly serviceable.
Gameplay:
It's cute! It's tamagotchi gameplay. Seems like they brought a bunch of fan favorite features back- having pets, marriages ect. I also like that each tamagotchi has a specific personality that you help them develop. I think that's really sweet. Also, being able to hold 4 accessories at once is a great way to be able to decorate the tamagotchi! I like that they added more places to go- the pix was really missing that. The games are fun and interesting, and I really like the way they use the gyroscope in some games. The growth chart seems like theres elements we haven't discovered yet which cause certain characters, so I'm curious as to see how it pans out. There's still a lot of mystery surrounding the gameplay!
Online Functionality:
The online functionality is scary to me, since I'm worried about the ability to push out updates. I haven't run into any bugs, so it seems like it'll mostly be used to push content updates? But I'm not entirely sure. I do like having the codes be exclusive, (I'm sure the modding scene will be able to find ways to automatically hack in certain items) because the PIX's QR code system made me a little bit sad with how easy it was to get any item in the game. It seems like there are also more items in this game as well. I do think the online functionality could be a really useful gateway for the modding scene, and the fact that the tamagotchi can download updates and items from the internet (not just backgrounds like the ON/Meets) is super exciting. I'm very excited to see what comes next. It is slightly worrying that bandai could in theory patch out any modding/hacking entrances, but also this is bandai we are talking about and they only really care about each tamagotchi model for about 2-3 years before phasing it out. (Though to be fair the Pix and Smart were smaller releases- they kept support for the Meets for 4 years)
OVERALL REVIEW: it's good :3 if u are a tamagotchi fan and have the money it's a must buy imo! I can def see it becoming a fan favorite down the line, esp if they release some extra lines with fun designs.
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the teenage condition-chapter 1
(none of this is proof-read, read or do not idc)
ive got this nervous feeling about starting something new. i haven't felt really anomymous and simultaneosly been interacting online in forever, not since i was too young to reasonably be a functioning part or a contributer to the internet. before i was old enough to have my own accounts with my own name and age and personality, i still snooped and lurked around the web, but i wouldn't dare post something. i felt guilty, afraid, that oh god oh no, someone (my mom probably) would find that i watched unreasonable amounts of youtube when i said i was asleep, or read copious amounts fanfiction for a fandom mostly written about by 12 year olds and therefore, was quite shit. but im just writing, because my brain feels like it has to, and writing on paper can get a bit slow, and im terrible at keeping a good accurate journal (for fear that someone i know will read it and finally see me or understand something critical and embarrasing about me). i was going to start an angsty teen journal in a black moleskin notebook, but i felt guilty that i had too many notebooks i gave up on halfway through.
its raining like the worlds ending where i live, which is to be expected in january. i hate winter. i understand that people love the snow and rain and wearing their earmuffs and cute outfits, and ice skating, and skiing and snowboarding, etc etc. but my room is cold and my feet are cold and my hands are cold and my school is flooding and waking up in the dark makes me want to die. im not really looking forward to getting life back on a schedule and going back to school. i go to a good school, i have plenty of friends, ive never fallen too behind. things are fine. but also: things are suffocating. so many people who i've known for literally my entire life. and my same friends talking about surface level topics. sometimes i wonder if we really know eachother at all. and other times i love them so much that everyone around us pales in comparison. lately (for the last year) i've felt like i need a closer friendship, i need an outlet, i need a confidant, and even though i have known them for like 10 years, i don't feel like i've ever had that. i dont think i've ever had that with anyone at all. probably a bit of me problem.
i was on a long trip with my family over winter break and started having quite bad anxiety. to get through it, of course a good distraction would do me some good. and what better distraction than reading one of the most famous fanfics that the internet seems to have been absolutely raving about: All The Young Dudes. i finished it this morning. ok actually this afternoon. mostly what i would like to say is: fucking ouch guys. i didnt actually have that much of an interest in the fandom (definetly not planning on reading anything else about it or interacting or writing), to be honest i wanted to see what all the fuss was about. now that i've actually read it all those "anything for our moony" audios on tiktok from like over a year or two ago really pack a punch. my thoughts: the beginning was very slow, but that definetley made the rest of it more impactful; sirius and remus's relationship is actually pretty toxic, but it was delightful to read; i struggled to get through any chapter after they left school, i predicted that it was going to hurt and boy howdy did it. i get it a little but also so much of it was so sad and so much of it was all unprocessed trauma and unresolved conversation and arguments, which sort of pissed me off.
not to say that it wasnt beautiful and also helpful. things i was reminded about myself through reading atyd: my friends dont know to much about like the vulnerable parts of me but its probably because I AM bad at communicating and being open; i do not like unresolved convos and arguments (my parents fight fr); i am probs trans, and have accepted that but not really bc if i had i would have processed it and actually made a move in some direction after mentally having proposed this idea to myself like 3 years ago with the irrisputable evidence of feeling gay for men; i avoid dealing with my problems; and of course i really love a story about buddies being pals.
also i cried a lot reading it
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SONIC PRIME SPOILERS FOR SEASON 1 (THIS IS LONG. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL MY INITIAL THOUGHTS.)
OKAY SO FIRST OFF. GOD. Everything with new yoke is so so good. By far out of the universes they made new yoke a very very engaging one-- all the characters feel complex and thoughtful and it's not just a one-off universe. You care about their plight and while circumstances have changed them as people, theyre all still believable and complex like you can see why they've become this way. They dont feel like theyre being forcibly FIT into their roles in new yoke if that makes sense.
On that note, god Nine is so good and CARRIES when he has the focus. He's such a good introspective on Tails, and his deeper feelings and who he is without sonic, who he would be if he had to make it on his own. They do a wonderful balance of showing he's been forced to "grow up" because of the eggman empire, while also showing that he's still just.... a really lonely 8 year old who thinks the world is against him. So when sonic shows up and reaches out to HIM, gives him the first good connection he's had... he clings to it and clings hard. But he's new to connections and friends and doesn't really understand yet how to work them I think. So when sonic doesnt make it to save him, when sonic can't stay in the grim because he has other friends to save, nine takes it personally. It's all just. so so well done and in my opinion, out of all of the introspections they try to do with sonic's friends-- the most faithful, heartfelt, and engaging one. Which, is somewhat a given since it seems like Nine is going to remain a major, overarching character, along with the rest of new yoke.
ANYWAYS. Nine and New Yoke aside, I think another thing sonic prime is doing well so far is building up stakes with its main plot. Its not throwing nonsensical plots twists at you, but just builds in this great steady way that you're putting the pieces together on the situation the same time the characters are, and realizing just how deeply things are getting fucked. It's been REALLY engaging on that front and I'm happy for it.
But uhm. On a different note, the universes outside new yoke were.... lackluster. Both try to delve into another one of sonic's friends, and their feelings and sonic's relationship with them, but I think like... In the writers' heads right now, new yoke is the "main" plot heavy universe, and the others are one-off side universes that exist only as stepping stones to forward it. And you can... tell. Neither of the other universes' storylines are as engaging, and none of the alternates of the characters have the thought and depth that the new yoke ones have. And I think it kind of hurts the storyline, cause, well. You can tell. They WANT to engage you emotionally with amy and knuckles' nuances but they just fall flat and lose that impact theyre going for.
And god dont get me started on thorn and the jungle universe. That was just the biggest waste of what. 2? 3 episodes? I ever watched. I could not fucking care about that plot at all.
Uhm what else.... Well I think shadow is done... alright. He's being helpful, or, well, an ally (kinda hard to be helpful when youre a Void Ghost allowed only like 2 minutes of screentime), rather than a pointless obstacle, and his anger at sonic has reasoning behind it. His voiceacting also isn't as terrible as I thought. It's still not Right but its not kirk thornton-- and doesnt have that overexaggerated roughness. He is still very obviously sonic primes hype man though. He's got something going on, and clearly they want to do some kind of plot with him, but over the course of the 8 episodes he gets a little... repetitive. He kinda just relays the same thing to sonic every time we see him. Like Okay Sonic Fucked Up is Shadow going to just keep telling sonic that or is he gonna like. help.
I guess we'll see. I gotta be honest until that ball gets rolling im more invested in Nine and whatever happened there with Rusty Rose seeing Black Rose. someone please help rusty
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OK so what i was actually up to looking through the samples (here's the actual comprehensive sheet) was verifying the use of Giygas soundfonts across UTDR. i should have done this in the music post in the first place but what can i say im not a respectable analyst im a fucking Gaster Guy for christ's sake (i'll be honest i totally forgot the sample sheet even existed until today)
so anyway:
in Deltarune so far, it looks like Giygas soundfonts are used only in ANOTHER HIM ("Giygas Static")
in Undertale, Giygas soundfonts are limited only to Amalgam ("Giygas Breath," "Giygas Static," "Giygas 3") and the Barrier ("Giygas Breath").
i don't think the Barrier sfx is relevant to anything i'm thinking about but i figured i should mention it for completeness. (i'm guessing it's a genuine instance of Yeah This Just Sounds Right For This Scene. even IF giygas samples are now "reserved" for whatever reason as of DR, that may not have been the case back then. it still may not be the case in the future!)
otherwise yeah, despite EB soundfonts being all over both games, Giygas soundfonts in particular are almost exclusively limited to ANOTHER HIM and Amalgam (which share the same "Giygas Static" soundfont, in fact). whether or not that constitutes a Connection or what that connection means is debatable but it does so far seem to be an intentional choice.
here are some other odds and ends from bouncing around the Music Zone today. these observations are pretty disjointed and probably not super interesting? i'm ambivalent about most of this as Worthwhile Data but i figure i might as well make note of it
mus_st_him.ogg uses the Chrono Trigger "piano." this isn't inherently super interesting. it's been identified in 3 other in-game UT tracks (Uwa!! So Temperate♫ ★, Reunited, Battle Against a True Hero) and one unused track (Bereavement). i don't think there's supposed to be like a pattern or anything there lol. many others have brought up Chrono Trigger more generally as a source of inspiration for tfox and raised the possibility of references to it (beyond music i mean) in Deltarune. given CT's frankly legendary status in RPG history it's not unthinkable to put it up on the Potentially Lore-Relevant Sound Design Choices pedestal alongside EarthBound but i don't wanna grasp too much at those straws right now lol
slightly more interesting is that this specific soundfont is only confirmed to be present once in Deltarune (so far), in ANOTHER HIM. given that this track is basically a straight up remix/re-imagining of mus_st_him.ogg it isn't really surprising that it uses the same soundfont, but i think it's a neat detail all the same.
also interesting is that the Chrono Trigger "piano" seems to be "reserved" now in DR, though none of the other Obviously Gastery Songs use it either. Darkness Falls uses Earthbound "Mellow Piano" (used one other time so far in that game, in Big Shot) and man.ogg uses SGM "Piano 3" (seemingly just an otherwise normal, all-purpose soundfont used in various places). honestly the CT piano might have just been brought back for that mus_st_him.ogg callback specifically and then shelved lol
oh except. the thing about "confirmed" instances. one of the sheet's contributors thinks it might be very quietly playing a countermelody around 0:33 in THE HOLY, which.......... veRY VERY INCHREsting,,,,, but also i don't want to get too invested in that if it hasn't been confirmed. it's pretty hard to hear but i can kind of detect something just before the choral voice kicks in again around 0:35. idk what to do with this honestly. i think the Man motif Possibly being used in THE HOLY is interesting enough without having to obsess this much over a tiny detail most people will never notice but w/e
Chrono Trigger soundfonts in general seem to be used much more sparingly in Deltarune. the "str" (string) is used in Powers Combined and ANOTHER HIM. moss_fanfare is composed entirely of 4 CT soundfonts for that nostalgic snes rpg achievement sound LOL. again i don't think this Means anything (probably just a stylistic/aesthetic choice more than anything.) just making a note of it
i also decided to double check for the G Sequence in Here We Are & Amalgam because why not. i haven't seen many claims thrown out about it around the Inter's Nets (at this point, i think if it were meaningfully present there'd be like 7 years' worth of duplicated Reddit posts about it lol) and yeah, i also don't hear it myself or really see it in any of the fanmade transcriptions i've found. Here We Are is clearly Alphy's motif more or less head to toe (which yeah. of course it is. true lab is About Her). Amalgam doesn't use any recognizable motifs as far as i can tell, which makes sense if we consider it's probably not supposed to sound familiar or grounded in the UT world (even in like a bad way), it's supposed to be completely alien and disorienting.
there are still some things about those songs that are rattling around my dome but given the fact that i'm Extremely Biased in favor of my own interpretations i'm worried about teetering too far into the Reading Into It Too Much Zone. idk why i'm so interested in this suddenly in the first place when we already have plenty of reasons to link G with the true lab (aside from him having been. u know. a royal scientist). i just really like these songs lmao
anyway noting this stuff for the sake of thoroughness but yeah i don't think it's worth thinking too hard on it tbh
Amalgam in particular is a pretty high-octane execution of the same techniques used in mus_st_him.ogg (lack of tonal center & resolution) but there kind of isn't any reason to get all weird about that, there are clear mechanical purposes to it. those techniques were used here because they elicit unease, tension, confusion, etc. and they're shared across both tracks because both tracks are intended to make us feel those ways, not because there's necessarily a thematic connection between them
i want so bad to make wild leaps about the parallel harmonies in both songs but again i think this is probably a disorientation tactic (makes it hard to distinguish the key) more than anything else
the piano the PIANO in Here We Are. the melody (sorry gonna butcher some Terms again here) from 0:45 - 1:28 is clearly (to my ear) riffing on Alphys's motif in the counter-melody but the shakeup from 1:28 onward, when the counter-melody ends, is. idk. nothing in that part of the fan arrangement i've been referencing seems to obviously match the Ideal progression of either the G Sequence or the Man variation and i'm not going to stretch too far on it. but yeah i think the idea of that bit being some form of G Piano is conceptually very interesting. it's just not really evident at this point as far as i'm concerned
as a note: Waltz of Seccom Masada predates Undertale's release by at least a year or two so it's not impossible that tfox could have had plans for it in UTDR by that point. do i think it's likely that it shows up at all in UT? no not really lol but it's not impossible i guess
Here We Are uses... the Mario Paint dog soundfont... I never would have noticed this otherwise but yeah you can hear it subtly barking under the 0:45-1:28 melody. i choose to interpret this as God bemoaning these crimes against his Creation
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Alright it’s insomnia posting time. I am now half way through Preacher aka the end of season 2 -so however far along you consider that to be. Here’s my thoughts as much as I can coherently relay as of now (I will be using video game metaphors)-
Season one truly does feel like what was meant to be a short tutorial level but developers quickly realized once it hit play testers they had included too much and no one wanted to leave. Therefore they had to force you to leave by blowing up the entire town and 99% of the characters you had grown to care about.
I too would have fallen in love with Tulip bc a) Ruth Negga; b) she’s just the coolest most badass messy women ever.
Jesse is not a good preacher and it is so fucking funny. He’s not terrible, he tries, but he’s just not.
Im gonna stay mad at the insane messy throuple vibes forever. (Do they have the communication skills? Would it be good? Probably not and also maybe that’s one of the reasons it’s so interesting.)
those Angels were fucking right Genesis is not good for a person to have in them. Like it’s clear from the beginning and only gets clearer as time goes on.
All I have to say about Eugene is this poor boy deserves none of this.
this show loves side quests.. Killer of Saints did go somewhere. But. Where it the hell side plot going? (More under the cut)
I think that firmly brings us to season two. Aka. The story kicks off. aka “Jesse having just learned god is missing decides he will find him because that is what the power is for.” (Despite being told it is in fact just the offspring of a demon and Angel that, got out of its prison? Nursery? Sanctuary?)
The second season is basically the main quest needs to be explored but mainly in fetch quests. Meanwhile the player needs most of the parts involving Tulip and Cass so they get the “bad (midpoint) ending”. It’s also apparently an “I’m going to join the evil group despite all evidence that I should not” play through. (I’m ok with this actually it’s just I find putting it that way funny)
Aka. All of these people are very traumatized and secretive. Problems ensue.
On the one hand I get that Cass is probably written as having like attachment issues and stuff. On the other I am reading it fully as he just fell in love with these weirdos and assumes that’s probably not on the table at all but will take whatever he can get.
Tulip deserves far better imho. Just in every aspect of life and storyline.
Jesse clearly suffering from trauma with some symptoms of mania triggered by the immense and inhuman power thrust upon him. Also the severe guilt being reignited by just about the most severe crises of faith. (I’m gonna be real honest I have some half formed thoughts on his trauma, depression, and quite possibly mania)
We all knew Dennis was not going to go well I think and it somehow did go worse. That was not just tragedy but utterly brutal as well in a way that surprised me. Truly believe Cass is probably holding back most of the time -in fact I’m pretty sure it’s firmly implied in the text. So hopefully that goes somewhere.
Jesse the grandson of the swamp witch who does black magic and maybe… voodoo? (I’m sorry that woman looks way to white for that but I admit I’m not well versed in that particular tradition so I will not say more; the show seems to be more focusing in her just being a witch?) (great cutscenes tho)
After they get to new Orlesns the show really becomes “Jesse finds a new cult led by a fascist asshole and uh. Everyone else has fucked up misadventures which Jesse doesn’t appear to even notice most of unless it directly applies to him.” (Aka we are off the group main quest here’s a bunch of individual side quests, decisions matter despite appearing completely unrelated. Will you talk to each other? Btw they do not)
I would be surprised if Jesse remembered who Dennis was by the end tbh. He was not paying attention to anything after they got rid of the Saint of Killers imho with his partners. At the very least I believe it was the last thing he was thinking about.
I am saying partners -yes I am shipper scum get over it- Bc they basically are presented as such by the end of this season. The vibes very much are “bordering on divorce” by the end of the season. Tulip and Cass break up with Jesse, in a diner for joining a weird cult and not paying enough attention to them and being extremely selfish. They are correct imho.
Again Tulip deserves better than this. (Spoiler- I know she gets better. Still. Also I’d have loved to see whoever Jesse actually explained -or perhaps didn’t- his plan to Cass)
they are getting so so divorced broken up and tbh. fair.
“I hate you” delivered in the most… truly trying to just hate him and not being able to way imho.
time for under the cut stuff
So the big points here are- does Preacher deal with fascists and specifically Nazis well? Tbh, I’m not sure it does but I’ve seen much worse.
First we have Herr Starr who is at minimum an authoritarian and I would go as far to say fascist. I’d go as far to say the Grail is heavily fascist leaning. Most of the Grail is just embarrassingly incompetent. Whereas Herr Starr despite the “funny problems” -tbh I was not really amused personally by “lol one of the idiot agents though he wanted a gay gang bang”. Its 2017 why? Who was like “yea let’s do that”. (I have several guesses) Anyway to put it very simply I think he’s just a bit… too cool? Now I admit his main character traits seem to be a deeply selfish desire for power for himself perhaps? I still think he’s a fascist but maybe other have a different read and I’m willing to hear it I guess?
Hitler. Why is he here? Is this necessary? On the other hand it’s a bold move and I could see them doing some subversive and cathartic stuff with him but I admit my own bias of having a strong disgust factor over… just the character. However he sucks, and everyone else except the nicest naivest person in hell agrees, which makes it tolerable.
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