#none of this probably makes sense the plot will get better I promise!!!!

[cherry-leclerc]

million dollar man ☆ toto wolff

genre: age gap, porn with plot, angst, mentions of drugs, tragedy, erotic literature, mentions of homicide, bits of humor, child neglection, divorced!toto

word count: 16.5k

Toto Wolff, self-made billionaire, is on cloud nine; he has all he’s ever wanted. A beautiful wife, family, a great team. But when that starts slipping from his fingers, he desperately tries to keep hold of what is not his anymore. As a possible solution to cure his blues, Lewis kindly invites him to a place he runs off to when times get tough; to relieve some stress. But he just never expected a cosplaying angel, dancing around a metal pole, to be his salvation. And also, his cruelest life lesson. 

nsfw warning under the cut! 

18+…dry humping/ thigh riding, sexual tension, penetrative sex, oral sex (m!receiving f!receiving), size kink, breeding kink, praise, foreplay, riding

inspired by this and this !

STOP AND READ:

Typically, we keep it light here: occasional minor angst fics, but light, nonetheless. That will not be the case this time around. Because of that, I firmly believe that it is necessary to give a few warnings. There will be mentions of drug-use and homicide and if that is not something you are comfortable with then that is totally okay! I have more options for you to read over at my masterlist! This is purely fictional. With that, this story is based and inspired by Million Dollar Man and Yayo by Lana Del Rey (*run*)—what that means is that this story will not have a happy ending. 

cherry here!…toto is like—a special appearance, here in this blog. probably won’t write for him all the time, but hey! we love him!originally this was going to be named yayo but have since changed my mind to million dollar man. IT WILL MAKE SENSE AND I’M SORRY, ANONS. please don’t hate the villain in me. consider yourself warned. 

There was no room for love when it came to the world of motorsport. Toto’s first marriage was a transparent reminder, given its falling out. The Austrian didn’t seem to care, almost; Mercedes was at their prime, but by then, when Susie came along, he felt a gist of hope. She must’ve known the sacrifices that would be made—the expectations. 

And yet, he sat there, signing the divorce papers once again. What had he done wrong this time? He had given her everything she could have ever wanted—spent time he didn’t even have—with her. 

Neither of us were happy anymore, she would whisper apologetically, eyes trained downwards. But I’ll always love you, Toto. You must remember that. 

Suddenly, he was fifty-two and with no true purpose in life other than to stabilize his broken team. If it wasn’t false accusations from other team principals, then it was trouble with the hydraulics, and if it wasn’t that, then it was losing his World Champion. Mercedes was already dwindling down to a mess, but with Lewis leaving—it felt like he was losing his mind. 

“You understand where I’m coming from, right, Toto?” 

Looking up at Lewis and Penni, his manager, the Austrian sighs, forcing a tired smile. No. He didn’t understand—did not want to understand. But he had no right to prevent the Brit from expanding one final time before retirement. I just feel like I need to do this for myself, but thank you for the infinite support. Mercedes will always be home to me. 

Promises. Fuck them, they meant nothing at the end of the day, so why bother? 

“Do what you need to do. I’ll always be here for you; no matter what.”

It was a bittersweet feeling to have. On one hand, the brunette felt optimistic. Maybe this was a chance to start over, perhaps offer up the golden seat to Carlos or Kimi. They had proven themselves in their own way and maybe that could bring better opportunities towards the team.

On the other, he felt like this was it. Maybe it was time to move on, retire with a sorrowful smile and live out the rest of his years. He could try fixing things with Susie. The thing was, he just re-signed as team principal, so none of that would work out even if he wanted to. 

Running a large hand through his brown hair, he groans and takes a sip of whiskey. Wincing at the taste, he jumps up in alert from his seat when there’s a knock on the glass door. May I? He nods.

Entering with an easy smile, Lewis raises his dark brows in a teasing manner. “Drinking ain’t gonna help, I promise you that.”

The brown eyed man grins. “You have something else in mind, cause if so, I’d like to hear it.”

The Brit hums, tilts his head to the side. Lewis had been with Toto for as long as he can remember; he was there when Toto and Susie met, and long after when they tied the knot. He swore they were happy, and that may have been once true, but he also knows sometimes even that can’t be enough. So, when news came out to their inner circle that the two were getting divorced, he felt sorry for him. He knows what it feels like to have it all, to suddenly go to sleep alone every night. But there was always one place that always helped— even people like him.

“You up for Vegas?”

-

He should have said no. He was too old for any of this nonsense. Too mature. Only, one thing led to another, and before he knew it, he was entering one of the top-tier stripclubs in all of Las Vegas. He knows that while there is nothing wrong with the profession, he can’t help but feel sinisterly dirty. He blames it on the fact that Lewis was beaming right besides him. Maybe if he hadn’t once been his boss, then the feeling would be different.

“Oh, c’mon. Ease up. No one will even know that you were in here.”

It’s true. While the club was a part of the infamous Vegas strip, it was also exclusively exclusive. No one could get in if there was no form of proving to be millionaires, and even that was ridiculously low. NDA’s would be signed as if it were something normal. Made him wonder what kind of things occurred between these four walls. 

Toto chuckles deeply, dark eyes roaming the entire room, loud music blaring. “How did you even know this place exists?”

Lewis winks, lousy arm waving at the bouncers. “You know how everyone thinks Formula One drivers are players and are up to no good?”

“Yeah?”

He smirks. “Well…they’re fucking right.”

After a couple of drinks, a few new friends—who would make great potential business partners—and a bit of gambling, the fifty-two year old found himself having a decent time. The atmosphere was a tad bit suffocating, but one time won’t kill him. He deserved it. 

“Oh, oh, you might want to take a seat,” Lewis chants excitedly. “People get pissed if you block their view.”

Abruptly, the stage lights up. It was a bit alarming, the sudden speed these men took to claim their seats, trampling over each other to get front row. Carefully, he crouches down onto the couch of giddy men. This wasn’t a normal setting; girls were caged behind glass as if to protect them from these males and their slithering actions. A red head professionally swings around the steel pole, black skirt flowing, adding to the illusion men love to taste. 

Whoops and hollers echo the red room as the Brit nudges Toto’s broad shoulder with a wicked grin. “Good, no? She’s my favorite.”

The Austrian scrunches his nose, half joking, half not. “Is this why you were always dozing off during our meetings?”

“Exactly why.”

It was an impressive art, he’ll give credit where credits due, and his eyes were bulging out of his head, but that’s about it. When he stood up to go and order a new drink, a string of boos were thrown at him. Even Lewis shook his head with disapproval. Man, you’re missing the show! He sends a sly grin. “I’m tough to win over, but they’re great, don’t get me wrong.”

The bartender shakes his head in disbelief. “That’s what they all say. Until they lay eyes… on her.”

“On who?” He’s quickly hushed as soon as the room changes gears. The once red club enhances into a soft yellow glow, the fast paced music slows down to an angelic piano intro. 

A round of applause for everyone’s favorite girl—Peaches!

If the fifty-two year old ever thought he’s heard it all; loud cheers from fans, loud cheers for the other dancers; then he must have been mistaken, and awfully foolish. His ears ring with the sudden howls from everyone in the room. Turning around, he’s found with a girl, standing with golden angel wings. A shiny reflection colors her hair as she delicately bows, shy smile sewn onto her pouty lips. White dress wrapped around her figure as if it was tailored for her, and only her. 

Yayo.

The way she pranced inside the glass box like a butterfly makes the men grow wild as they pant feverishly. She’s barely doing anything—hasn't even done half as much as what the other girls had done—and somehow, all eyes are drawn on her like a sticky potion. Toto’s heartbeat gets stuck in his throat as he tries his best to swallow it down. Sad eyes flicker throughout the club as she spins, dress fluttering like a flower in the summer breeze. 

You’re someone desirable in all senses, and it appears as if you know it as well. 

Let me put on a show for you, daddy. 

Dropping down to your knees, you crawl towards the glass as you draw your soft brows together, as if pleading to be let out. Hot breath paints the glass before you press a kiss. 

Then, you’re looking at him, and it’s as if you could point out all the fucked up shit he’s ever done. His heart speeds up as you tie your shiny legs along the pole, sensually spinning as you throw your head back. Like a signal, water sprinkles inside the box as it lubricates you down, dark mascara trickling your features. 

Arms toss your hair back before sharing a quick wave as you step out, red lights turning back on. And just like that, Toto is left empty and alone once again.

“That shit was insane,” the Brits voice shakes him away from your spell as he flops down on the stool right next to him. “She must be new because I for sure wouldn’t have forgotten a pretty face like hers. What’d you think?”

Toto blinks. “She might be my favorite.”

-

Thank you, Ro, you say as you sign on the bottom x, waving him off as he tilts his head in agreement. Call me if you need anything. I’ll be outside, like always. 

Even after all this time, you still got trepidatious. There came times where the connection was completely off, that you just wanted to bolt away, screaming like a baby. But you needed this job to survive, plus, it paid a pretty penny. 

“Where do you want me?”

Once you spot the massive businessman, manspreading on the couch that he made out to look like a toy, you gulp. You had caught a glimpse of him already, basically performed for him, but you didn’t think he was the one who called for you.

He’s strikingly handsome in a way you couldn’t quite comprehend. Dark, untamed hair covers his face. Long nose catches your attention as you squirm. His hands are practically the size of your face and you could only imagine what his thick fingers must feel like. Curiously, your eyes dwindle down to his lap as you picture what rests between his legs.

“Oh, right. Um…”

You grin. “First time?”

He winces. “It was a friend's idea.”

“Hmph. Heard that one before.” Inching closer, you pour a glass of water. “Here. It’ll help.”

His hand swallows you whole as you gape down at the difference. Electricity zaps you as you flinch and he catches on. Bringing the cup towards his pink lips, he closes his eyes, lashes fanning his tan skin. Being taken care of by a beautiful, young lady, made him cringe in all kinds of ways. He felt like a child, then like an old man. To be fair, he sort of was.

“I’m not here for…you know.” You quirk a neat brow. You don’t want to fuck me? Your question has him choking on the ice as he raises his hand up. “N-no, I just th—”

“I’m afraid you’re just wasting my time, and time is money. Have a good day, Mr. Wolff.”

Gaining his composure, Toto storms over to you, grabbing your hand. “I’ll still pay you. Triple what you make, but please don’t go.”

Your cheeks are dusted light pink when you turn around, wings brushing against him. If you’re lucky, you reach his toned chest, but the height difference was scary. Enticing. You almost wish he would fuck you like a pornstar. 

“You know what a girl wants to hear. I’m in.”

Turns out, he just wanted a companion. Someone who wouldn’t pity him. Didn’t hurt that you were the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, either. Narrowing your eyes, you click your tongue. “She said that?”

He sighs. “Maybe I was changing.”

“Perhaps, but that’s what a marriage is for. You change, sure, but you change together. Things can’t possibly stay that same, that’s just stupid.” Tucking your legs beneath your butt, you continue. “And what? Your number one driver decides to leave out of the blue? Even after it was mutually decided that he would stick around at least until 2026?”

That was something no one knew, but who were you going to tell? Toto grimaces. “It sounds bad, doesn’t it?”

“It fucking sucks.”

The Austrian chuckles deeply at your outburst. You blush at the cunning sound. “You’re a terrific listener. I’m glad you stuck around to talk.”

“I’m glad I did, too.” You play with the hem of your dress. “You’re a kind man, Toto. You didn’t deserve any of this.”

-

He slips away that night with a tranquility he hasn’t felt in quite a while. On the way back to Monaco, he wonders if you were some kind of guardian that he had to meet in order to move on from his bittersweet feelings. Because it sure did feel like it since he felt he now knew what it is that he had to do in the upcoming season. All thanks to you. 

“…Toto….Hello?” Bono smacks his hand against the table and the Austrian flinches. They were in the talks of what position he would stay in now that Lewis was departing from his life-long engineer. “Do you want me to continue or?”

The brunette clears his throat, awkwardly. “We have a few weeks of break before the new season begins, correct?”

“Correct.”

He stands up to his full height. “Then let’s talk later. Enjoy your break, Bono. See you soon.” Then he’s walking out the sliding doors, with a dumbfounded engineer piercing his eyes at his large back.

Elizabeth, Toto’s rough voice speaks to his personal assistant. Clear my schedule for the next few weeks. Oh, and also; get me the first flight out to Las Vegas. 

-

Cursing at the dusty wind, you huddle your way into your beat up car, fingers sliding your Dior glasses down the bridge of your nose. They were a gift from a recent client, and you never shamed them away. Taking a sip of your sparkling water, you sigh in relief at the refreshing taste. Screw Nevada for being annoyingly hot. 

Tap tap. 

Squinting your eyes at your window, you only catch a glimpse of a man’s clothed crotch as you yelp. Swinging the door open, you take out your pepper spray. “Go away creep, I will use this if necessary!”

"Warten! Warten!"

“Huh?”

“I said wait,” a thick accent clarifies. You bite back a smile. “Hello.”

Bringing your hands up to your hips, you giggle. “Hello, Mr. Wolff. Back for more?”

He can try and pretend that he was better than crawling back to you, even if all you both did was have a meaningful conversation, but he doesn’t have time for lies. 

“I just wanted to thank you.” Your lips separate, slowly. “For everything. You helped me figure out lots of things.”

“Oh, wow… I, umm… You’re welcome?”

Intaking your soft aura, he closes his right eye due to the bright sun. “Can I take you out for coffee?”

-

You didn’t go out for coffee at a local cafe, but rather at his mansion he just blew his money on without batting an eye. Inhaling the yummy scent, you swoon. “This smells amazing.” 

He smiles. “It’s from Germany.”

“Authentic. How’d you get it?”

“Don’t underestimate power.” Your eyes grow wide at his cold tone and the Austrian laughs. “Relax. I’m from Germany. It’s my favorite, so I always carry one with me. Call me old-fashioned.”

“Let’s just leave it at old.”

He flashes a devious grin, lines tracing his face. “Ha-ha. But seriously, thank you for helping me out of my little…crisis.” Midlife crisis, you correct him as he glares. You snicker. 

“I’m glad I was able to help.”

“Can I ask you something?” Sure, you cheer as you sip on the hot drink. He fixes his glasses. “How did you end up working at Machiavellian Nights?” Your stomach drops. “You don’t have to answer.”

“No.” He nods. “I’ll tell you, because oddly enough, I trust you.” Okay, he whispers. “Are you close to your parents?” 

“What?” Are you? He nods again. You smile sadly. 

“That’s lovely, Toto. Appreciate that.” You release a shaky breath. “My father passed away when I was fifteen and my mother pretends to not know me.”

He gulps and you continue. “It was not always like that, though. We had a close relationship. She would braid my hair every night before bed. I would curl hers before every date. She was an amazing woman. One I could admire.”

“What happened?”

You lower your head, lips wobbling. Letting out a wet laugh, you brush a hand up against your nose. “Men are deceiving. Men are shit. Men are a complete waste of time and— I miss who my mom used to be.”

Handing you a napkin, you silently thank him. “She met him when I was only seventeen. It was fine at first; I was so happy for her. I would be moving out for college eventually, so I felt relieved that she had someone to rely on. Connor was great.”

The fifty-two year old is momentarily lost. Nothing sounds as bad as it seems, but he refrains from telling you so. “Then she got pregnant. Oh, Toto, I was so excited. A baby sister. Could you imagine? I bought everything my first job could afford. Onesies, blankies, pampers, I bought it all. And I never once expected anything in return.”

“That’s where things began to change. Connor swore I was trying to win my mom over and leave Rosie with nothing. Kicked me out before I even had a chance to defend myself. I thought —okay, I’ll just talk to her and explain that it was never my intention to do any of that. But she wouldn’t listen. She gave birth six months ago.”

“And you ended up...” You hum, bringing the mug up to your lips. 

“It was either that or fast food. Salary is shit in that industry. And the customers aren’t bad. I could say yes or no at any given time.”

The brunette fiddled with his watch. “So, you could have turned me away?” Laughing, you nod. He fakes a smug look. “And why didn’t you?”

Tapping a lazy finger onto your chin, you close your eyes before fluttering them open. “I had a feeling you had shit locked away. Just like me.”

-

He bids you farewell, claiming he was glad to have met you, even with such circumstances. The way he hugs you goodbye makes the pit of your stomach fuel with fire as you brush away the urge to climb onto him and kiss his pain away, even if he promises to not feel any. 

Take care of yourself, you beg, head resting beneath his heart. His breath hitches. You need to look after yourself, above all. Oh. And good luck with the new season. 

He wonders why such a pretty plea makes his heart break. Perhaps it was because even though your life was at rock bottom, you still looked out for others. Or maybe it was him, but he couldn’t pinpoint it at all. He wouldn’t try either because as stated before, he was leaving for good. He could make room to visit you the next time he was here for the Las Vegas GP. Even then, he wouldn’t risk you like that.

But like a kid at a candy shop, he finds himself signing the NDA once again. Welcome back, Mr. Wolff. The usual? “That sounds great, thank you.” Taking a seat, he watches the vivid room, hoping to spot you. Set after set, he’s torn when you don’t show up. Others seem to notice you missing as they violently spit slurs of; Bring out the pretty one! 

“Would you be kind enough to treat me to a sweet drink? Paloma’s are my favorite.”

Your sultry voice salutes him like a perfect hug as he looks down to where you bite down onto the inside of your cheek. Your eyes crinkle as you beam up at him. “You’re here…”

“I always am.”

He cringes, desperation humbling him as you take a seat. “Your act…you didn’t go on and I just thought you were out sick or something?” Leaning over to take a sip of his dark drink, loopy eyes train on him before sighing.

“Ugh, I wish. I’m on my period. I asked for the night off, but I’m still up to no good. Make a little bit of money, eh.” He clenches his jaw. “What are you doing here anyways, Toto? Oh shit—Mr. Wolff.” Smiling warmly at the bartender, you hug your red lips around the glass.

“I wanted to see you.”

Choking on the fruity drink, you clutch onto his thigh. He stiffens, but still pats your exposed back. You wore a silky red dress, just like the rest of the girls strutting through the busy club, but somehow, it looked better on you. Enhancing your soft features, tugging against your curves like an envelope. Perky tits begging to be licked— sucked on. 

“Why?”

“I…I don’t know.” You frown. “I have no idea, but you’ve lingered on my mind from the moment I saw you, dancing sadly. Why was that?” 

You purse your lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He huffs. “Think a little bit harder, then.” His firm tone makes you sit up straight, drawing circles on his lap, as a tactic to not pull your strong gaze away. You don’t even notice his hard cock pushing up against the denim. 

“I had just received a restraining order against Rosie.” He deflates. “I’ve never even met my newborn sister and they got a fucking restraining order.” You scoff. “Unbelievable.”

Toto was lucky enough to be a part of his kids' lives, but simply picturing the idea of Stephanie or Susie getting a restraining order against him, crushed him. Seeing you so upset about it makes him want to track down your mother and Connor and yell at them for how they’ve treated you. But then he would probably find himself with a similar piece of paper.

“Just when I think they’ve done it all, there always seems to be more.” You laugh, taking another sip of your cold drink. “They’re getting clever.”

“How are you so okay with any of this?”

You narrow your eyes, offended by his question. “You think I am? Toto, I feel like the odd one out. My own mother makes me feel like a culprit for simply wanting to give my baby sister a pair of shoes.” The brunette furrows his brows. You giggle. “I got Rosie a pair of ballet shoes. They’re the cutest thing you’ll ever see.” 

His lips quirk upwards. “So, you’ve tried to meet her?” You shake your head, hair whiplashing. I called my mom, brought up the idea. I guess she didn’t like it because next thing I knew, hello, restraining order. It’s sick. “They don’t deserve you.”

Your mouth stays agape as you blink back at him, doe eyes ringing him in. “I’m done trying. I get tired too, y’know?” Edging closer to your seat, you cup your hands against his ear, getting a whiff of his musky, expensive scent. You almost let out a moan. “You have kids, right? Were they cute when they were babies?” 

He nods, enthusiastically. “They’re heaven sent.” Your eyes twinkle, and he feels bad for a split second. “Want to see?” He dangles his phone towards you as you beam. Do you mind? “Not at all. As a father, you must know, I like to brag about them.” Rolling your eyes, you swipe through his gallery as you coo.

“Oh my goodness! She looks just like you,” you point out when you spot a blond girl. He grins. That’s Rosa. Flickering your eyes up to him, you gasp. “Rosie.” 

“Huh? Similar…that’s funny.”

Your grin widens. “Oh, handsome. Just like his father.” Benedict, he informs you as he blushes at the comment. Swiping once more, you tilt your head. “Very cute—like insanely adorable—but he doesn’t resemble you at all.” He laughs, throwing his head back.

“That’s my youngest, Jack. He looks just like his mother.” He retrieves the phone from you before handing it back. Squinting, you analyze the older blond. “Identical. It’s almost as if you didn’t partake in the game, Mr. Wolff.”

“Oh, trust me, I did.”

Burning up, you rip your gaze away from the device, trying to erase your filthy thoughts. Especially of him and his ex-wife. “She seems nice. Beautiful, too.” He hums, slipping his phone back into his pocket. 

“I can tell you have a soft spot for kids.”

“I don’t want to scare you off, but it’s an obsession. I can’t wait to be a mommy.” He swallows a groan at your innocent wish. “I would try to be the best; I just know I would.” 

The Austrian rubs his arm. “It’s getting late. Are you still going to be around?” 

You yawn. “I think I’m out of here, too.” 

“Can I take you home?”

The sexual tension is as thick as thieves. It suffocates you whole as you stare out the window of his Mercedes Benz. His digits taps against the leather wheel, legs barely fitting from how massive he is. Head almost touching the roof of his car. I swear I’ll go back to school, God, but please help me keep the last bits of my dignity. 

“How tall are you?” Come again? You gulp. “What’s your height? Curious, that’s all.”

His head rolls back, Adam’s Apple jumping up and down. “Meters or in feet?” You bite down on your tongue. Smart-ass. 

“Feet, if it’s okay with you,” you reply sarcastically. He clicks his tongue in amusement.

“6’5.” 

“Oh my God.” You smile sheepishly when he frowns. “You’re huge.”

“They normally say that after I have sex with them, but thank you.”

Heat rushes to your cheekbones and the tip of your ears. “You know what I meant.”

“Oh, of course, my mistake.” Pulling into your small driveway, he blinks slowly. “You live here?”

“Yes, don’t drool over it, please,” you growl at his rude tone. His brown eyes spin towards you when you hurriedly grab your things. He grabs the back of your dress quickly and you freeze.

“I didn’t mean it like that, it’s lovely, but I just thought…you said you made good money?”

High heels crunch against small pebbles as you scowl at the fifty-two year old. “I want to go back to Uni and I’m saving up, is that so wrong?” He’s embarrassed now, fixated on the empty passenger seat. You scoff. “Glad we agree. Good night, dickhead.”

Toto lets out a quiet laugh. Your eye twitches at the sound. Marching over to his window, you click your fingers as he rolls it down. This is funny to you? “Not at all. You acting like a child is.” 

“I am not acting like a child—”

“Oh, you’re not? Fuck. Again, my mistake.” Grinding your molars, you glare at the brunette. He aims for a soft smile. “I wasn’t making fun of your living arrangements, please, do you really think that low of me?” You look away, wiggling your neat brows. “Come and live with me.”

“Excuse me?”

He climbs out of the car, making you stumble back. “In the meantime, while I’m here, which is not for long. When I leave, you can keep the house.”

You grow light headed from his delirious offer. “Are you asking me to have sex with you in return for a new home?” His jaw drops.

“No, I’m being a good friend. You’re a sweet girl who has dealt with some shitty people and I want to help. Please, accept.” His voice is soft but somehow demanding. As if he already knows you’re going to agree. 

Inching closer, you poke his chest. He raises his arms. “Are you real?” Super real, he states, rolling his chocolate eyes. What do you say? 

“But my things—”

“I’ll send for them.”

“My downpayment—”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Cool!” you cheer. “Let me just go grab my boyfriend.” His smile falls. Letting out an evil laugh, you clutch onto your stomach. “Ha! You should have seen your face.”

He pinches your forearm and you yelp in surprise. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“Too late,” you yodel as you skip around, back into the black Mercedes. “You’re going to regret it anyways.”

-

We still have to talk about the preparations required for the unveiling of the W15. Please tell me you haven’t forgotten? 

Massaging his temples, Toto grimaces. “I haven't, but also, we don’t have to. It’s all ready to go; George and Lewis just need to show up.”

Elizabeth gasps. “And you.”

“Elizabeth, that was implied.” The assistant hums sheepishly as she continues talking his ear off. He groans. “I’ll be there, don’t worry. You’re doing a great job, keep it up. And please, enjoy your break. You’re going to wish you had when the season starts.”

“Of course. Take care, Toto.”

Once they hang up, he picks up on reading through articles about everything and anything people have been saying about Lewis’ new contract with Ferrari. He was happy for his driver, but it still stung. 

“You look tired.”

Chocolate eyes direct over to you where you stand with an oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties. At least he hopes. “Oh, y’know. Catching up on work. Can’t be gone for too long, if not things get out of control.”

Rolling your eyes sarcastically, you slide your way closer to him. “Can I see?”

“See what?”

Squinting at the screen, your eyes glimmer brightly. “I love all things gossip. It’s my guilty pleasure.” Taking a seat on his thick lap, your delicate fingers start playing with the keypad. He grunts, placing both hands behind his head as his jaw ticks. “Charles Leclerc and Lewis Hamilton: The Unstoppable Duo.” You giggle. “He’s cute. Take it back, they both are.”

He lets out a strained chuckle. “You’re evil.” 

Tossing your hair over your shoulder, you shrug. It looks so soft, he’s itching to run his fingers through it. “I see why you’re upset about this whole—‘I want Lewis! No, I want Lewis!—thing.” His smile falters. “It’s brutal.”

Hauling you off of his lap, he places you on the chair next to him, hoping you wouldn’t notice his hard print. “Is it?”

“Mhmm,” you chirp, chin propped onto your knees. “You must not mind people talking about you.”

“I do mind. I mind a lot.”

Perplexed, you take in his exhausted state. You never wanted to be famous, and seeing him live like this made you realize you had made the right choice. With slight hesitance, you brush his hair back; he sighs in relief. “It’s good to take breaks in between. That way you don’t have a stroke, old man.” His eyes fly open.

“Just because you’re younger, that doesn't mean I’m about to drop dead, sweetheart.” You squirm, forcing his orbs back closed as he squirms at the clumsy action. 

“Wanna feel something nice?”

Toto’s mind wanders to a steamy place once you leap off your chair. His chest heaves up and down from nervousness, hearing your soft steps. Straddling him, you press a soft kiss onto his cheek. Relax, Toto. He nods, grips onto the sides of the wooden chair, knuckles turning ghost white. Digging your hands into his broad shoulder, you begin to massage him at a steady pace. He moans. “How are you so good at this?” Your lips curl.

“I like to think I was a masseuse in my past life, now shhh.” 

The brunette’s main focus was between two things; actually letting loose and enjoying the much needed massage and the urge to slide your panties to the side and fuck you senselessly. Both were pretty good ideas in his book.

“Stop grunting,” you whisper in the nook of his ear as he shudders. You bite down on your pouty lip, leaning all the way back, and his hands instinctively reach out to catch you. His brown eyes flutter open as he admires the way you tower over him, even as you lay back, but also the way your fingers push adamantly against the knots in his shoulders. He growls animalistically. “What did I say, Mr. Wolff?”

Cold stare. “What am I supposed to do, then?”

Grabbing his large hands, you place them over your hips, an inviting smile dancing across your pink lips. Squeeze if you have to. He almost comes inside his pants as you lick your lips once more before continuing your actions. And it almost seems like you want to get a rise out of him. To make him groan, moan, grunt, cry out— for you. 

Purposefully, you dig your knuckles extra hard before pinching down with your nails. He hisses, grasping your sides hard as he throws his head back, floppy hair hitting the chair. You force a whimper away as you feverishly grind against his crotch. That kind of hurt, Toto.

“Fuck…I’m sorry,” he spills out as he starts a massage of his own. You smirk, repeating the same painful actions, pushing him to do the same as before. This was no longer a peaceful massage, you both knew that. It really hurts, you whine as you place a small hand against his chest, hips moving feverishly against his rough pants. The burning sensation makes you let out a pathetic wail as you rest your head against his shoulder. “A-are you okay?”

Then, you press your forehead against his; lustful gaze challenging him while tears cover up your pretty eyes, making them shimmer even more than before. “Never been better.” With one last rub against his slacks, you’re climaxing as you plow your red nails onto him.

Gasping for air, you return to tracing soft circles against his wide shoulders as he’s left dazed and confused. His cock still hurts from how hard he is, but you don’t seem to notice. Or you ignore it. It doesn't matter, because you’re already jumping off him, lips bruised from how hard you had bit down.

“I thought your hands would hurt a lot less, Toto. You ought to be nice to me.” 

Then, you’re skipping away, back into your room like a shy rabbit.

-

After the encounter in the dining room, you pranced around as if nothing had happened. Maybe nothing had. Toto’s mind was probably playing tricks on him because there was no way you could act so nonchalant, hallowing your lips around the cherry popsicle. Is it red? You stick your salivating tongue towards him.

“That’s a dumb question.”

You frown. “Grump.” A beat. “Can I take the Mercedes on a spin?”

“No.”

The frown grows deeper. “Why not? I swear I won’t scratch it. In fact, I won’t let anything happen.”

“Tempting, but still no.”

“Fine,” you grumble, munching down on the icy treat. He smiles, fingers typing against his computer. Can I ride you? His digits freeze midair as he flickers his brown eyes over at you. Holding the car keys directly to your face, you hum playfully. Yeah. Why not, Peaches? Just take care of me! “Of course, my sweet Benz. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“You are worse than my four year old.” He inhales sharply, rolling up his sleeves as he tries to ease his crazy heartbeat with water. You giggle.

“He said yes.”

“The car talks now?”

You blush. “That’s what I’m sayinggg…”

Analyzing the strand of hair that hits your chin, he folds his hands. “How did you choose Peaches as your stage name?”

You swallow the last piece of your popsicle. “It’s not an interesting story. I have a co-worker who goes by Foxy because she once fucked a fucking grandpa in the woods and he died of a heart attack once he saw a fox. Pretty cool, huh?”

His jaw drops. “You’re crazy.” Shrugging, you kick your legs up on the armrest. He swallows. “But I still want to know. No matter how boring it may seem. I can guarantee you I won’t think the same, pessimist.” 

Gingerly squinting your round eyes, your lips for a thin line. “When I was younger, my mom would bring me a peach everyday after work. That way, when she would pick me up from school, she would have it ready. The sweetest ones were during summer, of course, but the ones out of season were still pretty good. Up to this day, I still don’t know how she got her hands on those.” He nods. “Simple as that.”

“I think it’s sweet.” His long legs stretch out to kick your chair away. You squeal. “Makes you seem a tiny bit human.”

“Hey!”

He smirks. “Way better than Foxy. That story is just a murder case waiting to be taken to trial.”

“She did receive a handsome inheritance,” you whistle and his eyes grow wide. You snicker. “I’m kidding.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he lets out a heavy sigh. “Do you enjoy your job? Is this what you want to do for the rest of your life?” You shake your head.

“Wait, let me rephrase. I do enjoy pole dancing. So many outsiders assume we’re sluts, but it’s not like that. It’s an art, whether you believe it or not.” I agree. You grin. “I have fun, but no, I don’t want to do this forever. I want to be an elementary school teacher.”

“Really?”

You wince. “Seems inappropriate, I know, but I think I could be really good at it. I would cut them slices of sweet peaches any chance I get. I’ll even figure out where to buy some more once the season ends.” Scooting closer to the table, you flick your wooden stick onto his lap. He aims for a deadpan expression. “And I just want to make it clear that I do not sleep around. But when I do, it’s because I want to. I have needs too, Toto.”

The fifty-two year old grinds his teeth together. “I’m sure you do.”

-

Wobbling against the shiny tiles, you gasp before a warm hand saves you. You let out a breath of relief, turning to see Toto shaking his head in disapproval. 

“This is why you should leave to work on time. Now you’re just a mess.” Glaring at him, you fix your rollers as you walk out onto the private driveway. You were excluded from the rest of society, but part of you liked that. “How are you even going to get there?”

Spinning around, you almost crash into his chest before you regain your composure, close proximity making you struggle to find the words. “Toto, I never told you this, but…I can fly.”

“I’m being serious.”

You shrug. “I’m going to take the bus. Go back to your precious emails.” As soon as you twiddle your finger, he scoffs. 

“I would take you—”

“But you’re busy— it’s fine.”

“Can you stop talking?” Beady eyes narrow up at him as he continues. “But I can’t because I’m drowning with work…You can take the Mercedes.” Your eyes light up. 

“Are you fucking with me?”

He wishes he was fucking you, but no. “You better treat it like your own.” You click your tongue. See, you shouldn’t have said that because now my alter ego just grew. He points accusingly and you scrunch your nose. I promise. Handing you his keys, he watches carefully as you pull away, blowing him a kiss. 

A few hours pass by before he feels the need to check up on you. He tries texting first. Busy night? Nothing. He tries calling. Nothing. He starts thinking you might've crashed on your way there, so he hurries out the door. 

Paying the taxi driver, he marches past the doors as he is handed a piece of paper. He smiles back politely. “Don’t you guys think we’re past this?” The men take a quick glance at each other before nodding. Have a lovely night, Mr. Wolff. 

Loud music makes the brunette wince, face twisting uncomfortably. Brown eyes study the club as he tries to decipher where you could possibly be. Maybe you didn’t make it and he was right after all. Jogging over to the bartender, Toto pants. “Peaches? Have you seen her?” 

The young man points to the glass box, where you start your set. He sighs in relief as he takes a seat, rolling up his sleeves as he admires. Everyone cheers as you smile erotically. The Austrian can’t help but be one of them too. 

Spotting him, you freeze. You narrow your eyes for a split second before you snap out of it, continuing your desirable movements. The music ends and just like that, you’re done. Hollering echoes the room when you brush past by. 

“What are you doing here?” 

A cheesy grin plays out. “I came to see you.” Weren’t you busy with work? He shakes his head. “Well, yes actually, but I thought you were dead in a ditch when you didn’t reply to my message or answer any of my calls.”

“Why could that be? Oh. Maybe because I’m working,” you hiss. “Listen, if you’re here as a client— fine. But if you’re here as Toto— leave.”

He narrows his eyes sharply and your breath hitches. “It’s Mr. Wolff, darling.”

You purse your lips. “Very well, Mr. Wolff.” Strutting away, you make sure you sway your hips. The brunette groans, falling back against his chair. 

The night flies by as usual, until they book you. “Mr. Straforx, sitting in the back booth,” Ro informs you as you suck on your bottom lip, listening attentively. “Interested?” 

“Very.”

“Actually, I am too.”

The rich accent makes your stomach flip as you muster up a stern glare. Toto’s lips form a firm line as he stands as tall as a sequoia. Fuming, you shake your head, perfectly done hair slapping your face. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Wolff, but I already agreed to somebody else. But rest assured, if I have time left, then I will get to you.”

“Is money the issue here?”

Your jaw ticks, temples grinding together harshly. “You think that’s all I care about?”

He shrugs. “I could lie and say no, but who am I kidding? We all care about money.”

Flustered, you scoot closer to Ro, who stands amused with the entire interaction. “Ro, tell Mr. Straforx that I’ll be there in a minute, and make sure to apologize on my behalf.” The older man nods, tipping his head towards the Austrian as he strolls away. “What are you trying to do, Toto?”

His lips flip to a teasing smile. “Mr. Wolff.”

“Oh, don’t you dare pull that card on me.” Your face pinches up. “This is an important client, I can’t say no.”

“How much do you want in order for you to come with me instead of him?” Your berry lips separate. “Name a price. I’m a self-made billionaire, sweetheart—a couple of millions are nothing to me.”

“I could never ask for you to do that,” you whisper, timidly fiddling with your necklace. “Deal with it. You’re not my boyfriend.”

His nose flares at the cruel reminder. “I never claimed to be. I’m a client.” Pause. “Two million.”

You gasp. “Are you insane?”

“You’re right, that’s childsplay. How about five?” When you still don’t say anything, he grins devilishly as he places a large hand on the lower part of your back. “Ro! Yeah, tell Me. Straforx that she’s coming with me. I’ll give you a bonus, don’t worry.” Your friend nodded happily. Press the button if you need anything. 

You roll your eyes, sourly. “Thank you, Ro. Thank you so much.” Pushing you into the private room, you yelp. “Let go of me!”

The brunette scoffs. “Calm down, I was barely even touching you.”

Shivering, you focus your attention on the luxurious drinking options. Half of these were probably worth what you make in a year, but the rich fed off of that. The brown eyed man hums. “Is that something you’re interested in?” You quirk a brow. A drink? He shakes his head. “Do you want me to touch you?”

You blink up at him swiftly, rubbing your thighs together. “You’re reading into it. I don’t.” Digging his large hands into his pockets, he clicks his tongue. Okay. Then ask me to leave. We can pretend none of this ever happened. A sad whine bubbles up your throat as you fear that he might actually walk out if you even dared to imply. “Just don’t be a jerk.”

A threatening chuckles booms past his lips as he serves himself a drink you can’t even pronounce. He takes a slow sip before he raises his glass up towards you. “You’re getting to me a  bit more than I’d like to admit. I mean, you must know that, right?” Demented, you play with your dress. 

Tonight, you were cosplaying a wide-eyed devil. There was nothing threatening about your appearance, not if you didn’t count your crimson red lips. Plump, round, tempting. Your black gartner drives him to complete insanity as you bite down on your bottom lip, nervously. Your red dress is too short for his liking, but only because others get to enjoy the sight of your heavenly legs. The ones he was drooling over to nuzzle his face in between. Then your horns tussle your hair messily as you pant. He hasn’t even touched you and you were already dripping.

“That’s not true, Mr. Wolff.” The grin widens.. 

“You can call me Toto when we’re alone, sweetheart.” You shiver, lowering your gaze. No, you were right. It has to stay professional in this setting. The brunette rolls his tongue before squinting his eyes at you, fine lines forming. The sight alone makes you melt. “You should have thought about that before you came all over my thigh.”

Shocked at his vulgar words, you bat your eyes, flustered by the reminder. You had done that. But you had the upper hand that day and that was long gone as he towered over you. Inching closer, he drops down to his knees, him still appearing taller even with the action. You squirm. 

“You were not playing fair that day. How come you only got to finish, and I didn’t?” You were hurting me, you cry out like a child as he scoffs at your weak attempt. Tugging you closer to him by your smooth legs, he droops them over his wide shoulders. Oh God. Turning his head to the side, he presses warm kisses. Your skin burns with every single one. “You know that’s not true.” Then, he’s hiking your tiny dress up.

Toto is hit with instant lust as he spots the wet patch of arousal. You whine, legs shutting around him. Do something—anything—but please, touch me. The corner of his lips lift up as he bites onto your red undergarment, pulling it down. Oh, you sigh at the intimate vision. Once you’re on full display, he groans. Your pussy glistens back at him, begging to be stretched out. “You’re…”

Humming, you place your soft palm against his cheek. “Toto…”

Like a starved man, he dives in, lips sucking on your clit as you fly forward, eyes screwed shut. He eats you out as if this was his true calling in life, the way he pinches your hips when you rock yourself against his face. He’s enjoying every second, every drop, as you find pleasure with the way his tongue swirls inside of you, finding new places you didn't know existed. The brunette nips quickly as you gasp, then he strikes his tongue. Warm sensation settles inside of your stomach. T-toto, holy fuck, oh my God. 

You can feel the way he grins against your pussy as he continues his handy work. Slurping your juices, his dark eyes find yours as you pant, light sweat fanning your face. His large hand presses your dress down, further adding to the friction as your tummy is pushed down as well. Wailing, you writher an embarrassing amount that would normally have you pouring out apologies if it weren’t for his strong gaze. 

“Taste so sweet,” he chants, kitten licks taking place. Your head rolls back against the couch, hand clutching onto his hair as he grunts. “Open your eyes for me, schatzi.” But you’re too busy trying to make this moment last, ignoring his command. Pressing his nose against your small hole, you squeal and look down. A coy expression takes over as he pulls away and rubs his fingers against your puffy clit. 

“You s-so fucking good at this,” you pant, chest rises up and down, horns sliding down a bit before he extends his long arm, pushing it back. Your chest tightens. “I know what you’re going to do…Go easy, please.”

Taunting circles edge you further as he bites the squishy part of his cheek. “What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to try and make your fingers fit.”

Your words come out menacing as you scrunch your eyebrows together, a worried look clear to the Austrian. Kissing the inside of your thigh, he nods. “You’re an extremely smart girl.” Another kiss. “I’ll go slow. You won’t even feel any discomfort, just pleasure.”

“Wait!”

Panic strikes his face as you disconnect his left hand from your breast. Bringing his hand up, you inspect the wedding band. Why are you still wearing this? He groans. “Publicity. No one knows yet. They won’t know for a while, so I can’t take it off until then.” You hum, then slide his ring finger into your mouth. You can taste yourself, long digits immediately hitting the back of your throat as you gag. “What are you—”

Then he feels it. Your soft tongue and the way it lubricated the steel before you gently bit down and started pulling his hand back. His cock grows more pained from how hard he’s become. With a pop you smile, eyes crinkling as you show off the metal. “Better.”

“You’re…” I know, you seductively whisper as you return his hand to where it laid. Is that not what you like about me? The man practically growls as he slams two thick fingers inside of you. Your body jolts as you cry out. So good, Toto. His cock twitches at you ragged praises. His fingers barely even fit inside your tiny hole, but it sure as hell reaches your g-spot. White splotches burn your eyes as you dig your nails onto the side of his thick neck. 

“Just like that. Oh, Toto.” He adds a third finger, and you hiss at the burning sensation. “That’s too much! Fuck.” He makes up for it, drawing figure 8’s between your velvety walls as you open up to him. Your legs start to slip down his shoulders as he spits. Keep them in place. You whimper, but obey, nonetheless.

The pad of his fingers continue assaulting your sweet spot, curling at a perfect angle. Your moans grow louder. Chocolate eyes flicker up to face your fucked up state. “Close?” You nod, vigorously. A warm strip teases your slippery lips. “Good. You’re doing so good, Peaches.”

Your hips buck suddenly as you suffocate him with your body, but he doesn’t seem to mind at all. Picking up on your candy nectar, he groans like a madman, greedy tongue swiping to lick every last drop. Shuddering at the feeling, you push his head away from in between your legs and grab him by the collar. For a second, he thinks you might kiss him, but when you don’t he realizes he’s disappointed. Instead, you plant a kiss on his cheek, hot breaths wrapping around his skin.

“Guess that makes us even, Mr. Wolff.”

-

“And then I rode a pony! I begged mama to let me get on a horse instead, but I just got a good scolding. But you would’ve let me, right papa?” Toto theatrically grins at Jack. 

“Don’t tell her, but yes. I would have let you because you're a big boy now, aren't you?” The four year old nods, blond hair covering his eyes as he brushes it away with powdered hands from his donut. I miss you. When are you coming back?

Pressure tugs at the Austrians chest as he sighs. Jack was too young—he wouldn’t understand that he and Susie would no longer be living together. It was a mutual decision to tell him when the time was right, but it still killed him to lie to his son. Especially when he beams back with bright eyes. Toto winces. “Soon.” A pin drops. “Have you eaten your vegetables for the day?” Jack sprints away.

A soft laugh is heard from the other side of the screen as Susie comes to view. “He has not, by the way. Hi, Toto.” The brunette waves. “Are you actually busy with work or are you trying to forget about all your fatherly duties?” 

“Is it that obvious?”

The blond chuckles. “Whatever it is, it’s great that you’ve taken time to yourself. Just don’t take too long.” Signing off, the fifty-two year old is left staring at his own reflection. 

“He’s cuter than the pictures.” Toto flinches with surprise. Standing in a summer dress, you lick your lollipop. “His voice is super squeaky; it’s adorable.”

“Do you need something?”

His question may seem rude, but it’s not meant to come off as so. His voice is filled with genuine concern as he furrows his brows. You shake your head. “I’m bored, that's all.”

The brunette scoffs. “And by all means, you came to bother me.” A giggle dances out of you as you brush your hair back. Your sweet scent reaches him, even though you stand far enough away to make a run for the hills. “But I do have time. What do you have in mind?”

“I want to talk to my mom.” Your words shock him but he listens attentively, watching you as you sit on top of the table, legs swinging with rigidness. “I want to try and fix things.” He frowns. But you’ve done nothing wrong. You shift in an uncomfortable manner. “Well…”

“What did you do?”

“Remember how I got a restraining order, but I’ve never stepped close to Rosie?” He nods. You nibble on your thumb. “I s-sort of lied.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve met her, kind of…” You pout, hazed expression carving out through your doll features. “But I can explain.”

He sighs. “Please do.”

Your cheeks flush. “A few weeks before I met you, Connor called me. And I picked up. He told me he was willing to let me meet my sister, but only if I let him borrow fifty grand. To be honest, I don’t care if I never get my money back— I just wanted to be able to recognize Rosie’s face. Of course I said yes.” The Austrian listens carefully, loopy eyes dedicated to you. “I bought her ballet shoes, the one’s I told you about.”

“She was perfect. She giggled like the most angelic thing and her eyes crinkled in a way that made me love her instantly. I asked why Connor needed the money and if they were in trouble, but he only ignored me. Then he tried to kiss me.”

“He what?”

A timid smile plays out. “It’s okay, he does that sometimes, but I’m always able to push him off because most of the time he’s drunk out of his mind. I don’t normally care, but he had Rosie… What if because of some stupid mistake he put her in danger? I gave Rosie her gift and paid an Uber to take them back home.”

“My mom found out about the meet-up and marched right to my work. Don’t ask me how she got in. She yelled at me with such anger that I almost wanted to cry. She said I wanted to steal both Rosie and Connor from her. I promised that wasn’t true, but she didn’t care. Then I got my restraining order.”

The brunette’s words get stuck as he gapes at you. Clearing his throat, he drums his fingers against the table. “You should have told me the truth,” he begins. Hurt slashes your face—you thought he would understand. He offers a friendly smile. “But still…you’ve done nothing wrong.” A beat. “I can help you. Well, my lawyers can.”

Tears form inside your jello eyes. “Are you serious?”

He nods. “Your sister can’t grow up in a household that doesn’t want her, but keeps her just to twist the knife. Connor will pay for what he’s done to you.” Leaping off the table, you cross your arms. No. You can’t bring that up. He sends a sharp glare. “What he did was wrong, can’t you see?” Your bottom lip wobbles. She’s going to hate me even more. Tenderly, he sighs as he strolls over, cupping your face. “She shouldn’t, but if she does, at least you’ll be free from him. Has he only tried to kiss you?”

Closing your eyes, you release a wet breath. “He’s touched me a couple of times.” The Austrains eyes darken. Pushing his hands down, you quickly take a step back. “But by then I was due to move out, so it doesn’t really matter!”

“It matters a little,” he growls. “None of this is normal.” You flinch at his strong tone. “Sweetheart, tell me one thing; what would you do if God forbid, he did the same thing to Rosie?” 

You gasp. “I would murder him.”

“So, you agree that we have to do something about this?” Hesitantly, you nod. “I’ll reach out to my attorney as soon as possible. I promise you that all of this will get taken care of.” Muscular arms drape over your shoulders as he hugs you. Bewildered, you blink as you stiffen. “You don’t hug much?”

“Nope.” 

He booms with laughter, chest vibrating as you smile at the feeling. Everything about this feels right, so then why does that scare you?

-

He vows to be back as soon as he’s done with the car reveal. I don’t care, you reply as you pop a mint into your mouth, getting ready for work. 

You’re going to miss me, watch.

And damn him, the fucker was right—you did. A part of you wishes he would rush past the doors, yapping about he thought you were dead and didn’t ask for permission to take the Benz. But he was across the world, smiling wide at media duties as you watched behind a tiny screen. It’s good that he’s taking time to see Jack, too.

“Why are you sighing so sad?” Roxy asks, fixing her combat boots. “Not getting any clients? Though I doubt it. They love you.”

You let out a forced laugh. “I’m not sad—tired.”

The red head furrows her brows suspiciously before hugging you. Your arms dangle lazily as you scrunch your nose. She giggles. “Does this have to do with Mr. Toto Wolff? He’s hot—crazy hot.” She untangles herself from you. “He must be the devil himself.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh yeah,” she cheers happily. “But also, you’re totally in love.” Your stomach drops. No, I am not. Roxy rolls her eyes. “You’re a good liar, but you’re not that good. I’ve noticed the way you look at him. Like you want to eat him alive as you kiss him until your lips snap.”

You wince at the image. “You have a way with words…”

She beams, thin brows raising up. “I’ve also noticed that you haven’t gone into the private room since he walked in through those doors. So what, you’re just going to keep pretending?”

“You’re such a creep!” you squeal, delicate hand slapping her thigh. She squeals lightheartedly. You’re missing out on a shit ton of money. We’re talking dough. And yet you don't bat an eye because you don’t want anyone but him. Did I nail it?

You pinch your fingers together as you huff. “You’re crazy. Crazy. There is no way I could be in lo—” Hey! The ringing sound makes your blood run cold as you fear to turn around. Look at me. Foxy stares back at you with anxious eyes. Do you know her? Looking down onto your lap, you nod. “That’s my mother.”

“Oh shit.”

A dry hand yanks you by the arm as she spins you around. “I’m talking to you. Why won’t you look at me?” 

You flinch. “I’m working, you can’t be doing this—”

“I don’t give two shits if you’re working or not, if I say we need to talk, then we need to talk.” Ro shakes his head, distressed as he apologizes. I’m so sorry, Peaches. She said she was your mom and I…I didn't know what to do. You smile back softly. 

“Don’t worry. Can you get me a room?”

As soon as your mother enters the dark area, she whistles. “Fancy, but really? Bending over for any man willing to pay you a couple cents? That’s disgusting.”

Your cheeks burn up as you fight back tears. “What do you want? Is Rosie okay?” Panic rushes through your veins as you grab her by the shoulders, shaking her violently. She’s so thin, you think you might break her. “Is she okay, I said?”

“She’s fine,” she yawns. “So…this is what you’re up to? It always…catches me by surprise. Not really.”

“I had no choice,” you whisper meekly. “You gave me no choice.”

The older woman smirks. “Don’t you dare blame me. No one makes you do anything— this was your decision.” 

You let out a tired sigh. “Just tell me what you want…”

Her eye twitches, as if she remembers why she was so angry to begin with. “I got your complaint; you’re suing me for being a bad mother and Connor for…assaulting you? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?”

“I’m not lying—”

“Really?”

“Why would I lie?” you yell back, acid sliding down your cheeks. “I would never make up such a thing. He assaulted me countless times as you never did a single thing.”

“I never saw anything.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “You walked in on it! You called me a slut! I was seventeen for fuck sakes. But no—you blamed me for sleeping with your husband instead.” You take a good look at her; dark undereyes, frail figure, needles imprints everywhere. “You can’t keep doing this. You need to think about Rosie—”

“Rosie, Rosie, Rosie—I could not care any less about her! She just bugs with all her crying. It’s exhausting.”

“She’s just a baby.” Grabbing her hands, you soften your gaze. “If you don’t want her, fine, let me raise her…I swear I can do it.”

Your mother perks up. “You would do that?” Yes. Of course I would, you respond instantly. You’ll never hear about us ever again. Her thin hand cradles your cheek warmly, and for a moment, you let yourself lean against it. Then she pulls away and strikes you harshly, causing you to stumble back. “Why would I ever please you like that?”

Bring your hand up to your stinging flesh, you sob. “I-I…what?”

“Here’s what you’re going to do; you're going to drop the charges against me and Connor.”

“No.” 

She clicks her tongue. “Are you sure?”

Rising up with shaky legs, you keep a firm face even though it begs to howl in pain. “I said no. You’re not going to hand her over willingly, okay…Then I’m taking you to court.”

“Like hell you aren’t.” Tugging your arm, she presses her face insanely close to yours. You wince at the smell of intoxication; you can’t even tell what kind. “I will fucking kill you, do you hear me?”

You let out a wet laugh, ripping your arm away from her tight grip. “I don’t care. I don’t care anymore, but I am saving my sister from you two—no matter what.” Her nostrils flare as she heaves. You let out a sad whimper. “When did you become so inhuman? You used to be kind, beautiful, ha—”

“Heartbreak does that to a person,” she simply states before walking out, leaving you to yourself as you finally come crashing down.

-

He didn’t expect for there to be a racket, but the house felt awfully quiet. He knows you weren't at work—he had checked. He thought maybe you could have been out with friends, so he sighs before resting on the couch. He sits there for an hour or so before heading upstairs to take a shower. 

As soon as he enters the bedroom, he finds you covered with thick blankets as you cry. Alarmed, he rushed to your side of the bed. Oh my God, you shriek at the anonymous person before squirting. “When did you get here?”

“That doesn’t matter—what’s wrong?”

You hope brushing your tears away would stop him from asking questions. “What makes you think something is wrong?”

A pinched up expression maps out. Your chin forms a peach seed as you let out a weak sob and stand on the bed, making you the same height as him, throwing your arms around his neck. He’s stunned, but snaps out of it as he hugs you back, calloused fingers playing with your soft hair. “What’s wrong?”

“My mom visited me at work. She said some nasty things, but that doesn’t matter to me, what does is that she won’t let me adopt Rosie,” you muffle against his neck, salty tears wetting his collared shirt. “She’d rather raise her out of spite. She’s not made for this, she's malicious.”

“What else did she say?”

You pause, sniffling before pulling back with a reindeer nose. “That’s it.”

The Austrian lowered his gaze with subtle threat. “No, tell me everything she told you.”

“I swear that’s all.”

His brown eyes scan your face, but you remain still, only shaky breaths being released. He clenches his jaw. “Where does she live?” Your face drops. Why do you want to know? “Where does she live?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Stop being so stubborn and let yourself be helped—”

“I don’t need your help anymore, Toto!” You purse your lips, trembling hands brushing your hair back. Anger rushes over him as he inspects the purple bruise.

“Who did this to you?”

Sitting back down on the bed, your nose twitches. “I’m moving out.”

“Who fucking did this to you?” His voice is lethal. Thank you for trying to fix things, but I’m sure I can do it myself from now on. “What you don’t seem to understand is that you don’t have to. It was your mother, correct?” Forlorn, you agree with your silence. “What have they done to you?” he whispers, pain lacing his raw voice.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into all of this,” you whisper, salty tears sliding down. “I’m going to kill your image—they’re going to hate you because of me.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” the brunette ricochets back. “All I care about is that you’re okay. That you find the happiness you deserve to have.”

Grimacing, you sniffle, shaking your head. “I’m starting to think that doesn’t exist. Or at least I’m so unlucky that I won’t get a piece,” you joke. “The closest thing I’ve felt to that is when I met you.” His heart melts as he stares back, adoringly. “You’ve helped me in so many ways, Toto. Thank you for that.”

“But—”

“I know.” Rising up on the fluffy bed, you tower over him a bit, pressing kisses on his temples, cheeks, nose, neck. “You’re the only man who's ever made me feel something real. I can’t explain it, but I hope it makes sense.” 

He gulps. “It does. You want to know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve made me feel the exact same way from the moment you stepped into my life.” He closes the gap between you two as you stumble back against the mattress, but his large hands prevent you from getting away. “You’re not perfect—you’re flawed. You don’t have your life together—but you’re trying to. You’re not the tough girl you make yourself out to be—but that’s because you feel the need to build up walls to protect yourself from others.” Your stomach churns with every word he speaks. “And somehow…you have me wrapped around your finger.”

It happens so quickly, the way he presses his lips against yours. He can taste the saltiness but doesn’t dare to pull away. Like an animal, you move your mouth against his, whimpers flowing to his ears like symphonies. Toto knows why you never made the first move; you were scared to admit your feelings. But he was too.

Almost as if you read his mind, you run your fingers against his scalp as he breathes out, against your open mouth. “You won’t do the same, right Toto?” 

“What, sweetheart?”

Gloomy eyes reflect against his own. “Leave?”

“Unless you ask me to, then no.” He pecks your temple. “I can’t even imagine living without you anymore.”

That’s all it takes as you jump on him, silky legs wrapping around his torso like a piece of ribbon. He grunts loudly when you bite down on his bottom lip before letting go. “God, Toto, you’re—” As soon as he sucks on your throat, your sentence dies. Writhing against him, you try pushing him off as he chuckles, then he sets you down against the white sheets.

Immediately, you crawl back to the edge of the bed to where he still stands. Frisky hands tremble as you aim for his belt. Such a pretty girl, he thinks as you slip it off. You don’t have to do this. “I owe you, remember?” Then eager hands push his pants down, along with his boxers.

You knew he would be big, but that was an understatement. Toto was huge. Being 6’5 should have been a warning itself, but still. Drooling over his cock, you lick your lips, doe eyes fixating back to him. “I might not be able to take it all in my mouth,” you sheepishly state, red faced. The fifty-two year old has probably had a much better encounter; you were just making a fool out of yourself. Running his thumb against your cheekbone, the corners of his lips fly up. 

“I’ll walk you through it.”

Humming, you delicately wrap your hand around his length. Even just feeling it makes the heat in your belly grow. He clenches his jaw. Jerking him off, you wrap your lips around the pink tip. The Austrian releases a dirty groan, hips bucking as you smile around him. Pulling back, you stare up expecting the next step. Start off how you normally would. 

Pouty lips welcome him down your throat as you whine, the vibrations sending him into an orbit. When your palm slithers to what you can’t reach, he tsks. “You haven’t even tried.” Soft brows pinch together as if to say; Probably because I know I can’t either way. His nostrils flare. “Relax your jaw.”

Doing as you’re told, you gag as you squeeze your eyes shut and curl your toes. Your back arches, ass flying up as you struggle. A large hand reaches out to smack it. Yelping, you ease your mouth, thick member sliding down furthermore than you could have even imagined. There you go. 

Swallowing around him, you bob your head at a steady pace, reliving the steps, too scared to mess up. The Austrian throws his head back, sharp jaw in clear display as he pants. “Just like t-that, fuck. You’re doing so…shit.” While he’s enjoying himself, tears burst out as you clench your eyes, lashes becoming darker. The feeling is definitely getting him off, but he wanted to make things easier for you. 

Brushing your untamed hair back, he traces the bridge of your nose. Your orbs remain closed, and he finds himself missing them. “Breathe through your nose.” Ragged breaths fly out as your fingers dig against his thighs. He hisses. But gradually, it gets better. Glossy eyes stare up at him, lips stretch around his cock as you continue your filthy movements. 

As if to prove yourself to him, you deepthroat him even more as his head rolls back, floppy hair following along. Soft fingers brush against his legs as he shudders, face twisted with pleasure. Pulling away, you swirl your wet lips against his tip, feeding off of his precum before forcing yourself back down. 

Thick ropes of cum slide down your throat as you moan loudly. The brunette grunts, shaky breaths flying past his lips. With a teasing pop, you kneel up as you open wide. He moans at the sight of his release swimming inside your sinister mouth, then you swallow. Even though your throat is extremely sore, you still beam at him.

“Where have you been all my life?.” Climbing over you, he lays you flat, slipping your dress off. He’s stunned to find out you’re completely naked. Cherry red feathers on your cheeks. “Are you sure you didn’t know I was going to be back?”

Your lips curl. “No idea.”

He wraps his mouth against your bud as you whimper, hand massaging his head as he repeats his actions to the other. You could definitely fall asleep to this. When you open your eyes, you’re impressed to find out he’s completely stripped down, toned body exposed. The sight makes you grow excited, nervous.

“Are you on birth control?”

You curse softly. “I’m not. Crap.” Disappointed, you’re expecting him to climb off, but he doesn’t. Instead, he let out a raw chuckle. “I t-told you I don’t fuck men on the regular—”

“I don’t need the reminder,” he grunts. His brown eyes soften. “What’s your wish in life?”

Confusion paints your face. “To have you?”

“Cute.” Flustered, you focus on his contracting abs. Foaming at the mouth, you try to picture rubbing your core against them. “The other one,” he demands.

“Oh…” No. He can’t possibly mean… Your heart stops beating. “To be a mom.”

“There it is.” 

Briskly, he pushes into you as you wince in pain. I know, I know, he coos. But it’s better this way. It won’t feel so bad in a few minutes. Crying against his humid chest, your jaw hangs open. “It really hurts, Toto. Oh…it burns.” Hot tears reestablish themselves inside your orbs. “You’re too big.”

“Breath, sweetheart, breath.” His voice calms you down as your mewls lessen. “See?” You hum. “I’m going to move, alright?”

“O-okay,” you respond, dizzy. The feeling returns—less painful—but returns, nonetheless. Panic expands through your chest as you begin to think he might split you in half. His cock was just so thick and veiny. But it felt delicious between your velvety walls. “Fuck, baby,” you pant.

“I knew you could do it.” A warm peck lingers on your shoulder. “You feel so tight, schatz. So warm.” He sighs in relief as your tiny cunt compresses against his length, easing the pain from being as hard as a rock. Worse. Strong arms pick your legs up over his bare shoulders, making him travel deeper. 

“Toto, Toto, Toto—”

Eyes entertained against your slippery hole, he raises his brows. Yeah, baby? Getting a hold of his hand, you bring it over your stomach. His jaw clenches. “I can feel you.” Writhing in ecstasy, you toss your head to the side, small whines echoing between the vaporized walls. Pouding into you at a faster pace, he growls, bite marks being left behind on your legs. You hiss, clamping your eyes even harder, which makes you clench around his cock even more.

“Do that again,” he begs. “Do it—” You oblige, attention set on how he moans feverishly, hands adding pressure to your legs. For sure his imprints would be left behind. Taking advantage of the little power you have, you untangle yourself, greedily climbing onto his thick lap. 

“Looking good, Mr. Wolff.” 

He looked more than good—he looked eternal. The way his chest heaves, his soft pants, sweaty hair framing his handsome face, dark eyes praising you as if you were Athena herself. A confession finds into your brain as you halt. Beads of sweat cover his long nose as he appears concerned by the sudden break. Is everything okay? Rubbing your eyes as if you just had the worst nightmare, you blink hastily. 

Roxy couldn't have been right—she never was. Except, she is this time. It's as if a warm glow towers over him, your chest feels awfully vacant, but you’re not scared because you know your heart has found its home in the palm of his hand. You laugh in amusement as you touch his face all over. He smiles, eyes crinkling. “What’s so funny?”

“I love you, Toto Wolff.”

A lump forms inside his throat as he tilts his head. “You do?”

You shrug sheepishly. “I do.” Kissing his lips, you sigh with content. “I love you, I love you, I love you; I adore you.” He can hear the clock ticking as he stares back with his lips slightly parted. “You don’t have to feel the same, you dont have to say it back—I don’t care, but I can’t keep living a life of regret…”

“I love you, too.” Cartoon eyes blink back at him as he chuckles. “Do you believe me?”

“Uh…” Your lips stretch out. “Yes.”

Shifting on top of the Austrian, you make sure to slip him back inside as you moan in unison. Riding someone has never felt so addicting. Gasping at the raw feeling, you dig your nails onto his shoulders. When you look down at him, you are pleased to find him struggling to catch his breath. His fingers pinch your hips harshly as you bounce harder and faster, as if he would regret his words and leave you. “So big.” You drool, hair flourishing around you. “Stretching me out so good, Mr. Wolff.” He growls at you captivating words. “Making it so easy to ride you, huh? Cock brushing against the perfect sp—oh my God.”

Your face twists up with pleasure when the tip of his cock brushes against the mushy part that makes you almost black out. Movements slow down but it’s not long before he lifts you up and slamming you back down. “Toto!” you squeal, flimsy arms reaching out to balance yourself on his wide shoulders. Everytime he hauls you up and you look back at him, he represents like a giant. Your eyes roll back, mouth hanging wide open. “I-I’m close-e-e.”

“Me too,” he grunts. Like a devilicious man on a mission, he slaps your face carefully, forcing you to connect your glossy orbs with his loopy ones. “Gonna let me cum inside? Carry my baby, just like you’ve always wanted?”

“Yes,” you chant. “Yes—all of it—yes.” Cradling his cheek against your sweaty palm, you smile. “Cum inside of me, Wolff.”

With one final push, you both release loud moans, a strong wave of orgasms crashing violently against one another. Huffing, he makes a ponytail with your messy hair before letting go. “You think it worked?” You giggle.

“We’ll have to wait and see.” Leaning towards him, you kiss him gingerly. His mind grows blurry with how meaningful you make it seem. I’m yours—my heart is all yours—but please don’t break it, it seems to tell him as his enormous hands squish you closer to him, as if that were possible. 

“I know of a few ways we can make sure.”

-

Though you had mutually admitted your feelings to one another, there still didn’t appear to be a proper label to it all. Time was slipping, he would soon have no other choice but to leave and face all his responsibilities. 

But you can come back with me, he would desperately bring up as he fucked you against the wall. Tits would be bouncing at a hasty speed as you look back with your mouth in an O. I want you to. You won’t ever have to worry about anything, I promise. You can go back to Uni. You’ll get custody over Rosie, and Jack will be over the moon. We could have a family of our own, just you and I, Peaches. Huh? How does that sound, baby?

It sounded perfect; like a dream. You could taste it already. Early morning calls that you wouldn’t mind because he’d be laying down next to you. Quiet time as you jot down notes and he stresses over the next big decision for the team. And at the end, you would be glad you made the choice to choose him. Just like he chose you.

With shaky hands, you brush his messy hair back as he dotes on your bambi eyes. The way they glimmered extra bright that night; like starlight. The brunette’s face would soften up when you trace his nose, the curve of pink lips, his lines. Everything about him was breathtakingly dominant. 

You’d be a fool to deny. 

So, you accept. 

-

If Toto were to be told that he had died and ascended to heaven; he wouldn’t second guess the possibility. Because being with you felt exactly like that. Every passing second only adds to the amount of love he bottles up for you. It would overflow and he’d be okay; bring out the next. Oh, that one’s full, too? Okay, next. 

All of it made sense. You matched perfectly in sync with him like a cozy glove and he wouldn’t have it any other way. There’d be whispers from others, but he doesn’t care. He’d deal with just about anything for you. 

“You’re leaving so soon.” A click. “Have you thought about quitting?”

He can see you grow as stiff as a tree. Your back faces him, but he can still spot your reflection. Of course you looked absolutely lovely, but there was something different about…God. He doesn’t even know what to call it. 

“I’m not quitting.”

The Austrians' lips form a thin line; shoes clicking against the floor even more. A boom of lighting fills the room as you flinch. He smiles slowly. “Right—not yet, at least. Not until you move to Monaco.”

More heavy silence. “Sure.”

Now he’s worried. Strolling closer to you, he brushes his warm hand against your shoulder, kissing your exposed skin. “What is it?”

His heart stops when he notices you blinking back tears; bloodshot eyes tracing his tall figure. His first assumption is the most obvious; your mother and Connor. They had probably done something, said something, and now they’ve got you—

“I’m taking the car. See you later.”

He blinks. The cold demeanor was something unusual on your behalf, but leaving without a goodbye kiss was alarming. Toto tries to suppress his feelings with a bottle of scotch, but nothing seems to work. He has to see you. 

Gathering his wallet and house keys, he strides out the door before he spots his laptop wide open. As soon as he returned, he would have to answer endless emails, but for now, that wasn’t his priority. Inching closer, he reaches down to slap it shut when his pulse runs cold.

We should think about Jack.

He’s too young to understand anything of what’s going on, Suse.

Let’s just try one last time. I swear I’ll change. 

I love you. 

He knew instantly; you had read the messages. He had sent them, there's no doubt, but that was so long ago. The date was right there; all before he met you. Before opening up to you. But he doubts you spared enough time to spot the tiny detail. You saw his texts and that’s all; the rest was blocked.

Toto’s palms get sweaty, ears burning red, and heart racing faster than a fucking F1 car. How must you feel? You had made him promise that he wouldn’t hurt you and now this? The confusion was completely explainable, but he had to get to you fast.

It’s as if he owns the place, marching fiercely past the open doors that swing once they spot the Austrian. NDA’s were rather foolish when it comes to him now because he just held that much power. That much respect. But he can’t think of why something feels off.  You were hurt, and he felt awful, but no…there’s something else. As if there were an actual wolf lurking deep in the woods; ready to pounce. The hair in the back of his neck stands up, goosebumps forming, and eyes flickering all over the rich club, hoping to find you.

“Hey,” he pants when he spots the familiar redhead. Foxy lives up to her name because her laser glare has him scared for his life. She doesn’t even spare him a second glance before strutting away, a row of men following. The Austrian pushes past them all, pleading just like any other, but for a completely different reason. “Have you seen, Peaches?”

“Yes.”

“Great! Where is she?”

“Around.” 

The dancer beams at the group of businessmen who relax against their seat, hunting down without shame. They wore wedding bands, but who cared, right? Toto’s large hand grasps her wrist, tugging her away as she gasps, causing a commotion. He doesn’t care, he just has to find you.

Brown eyes glimmer threateningly but also soft because they’re both aware he needs her, for she only knows where to find you. “Listen, I know she told you what happened, but it was all some misunderstanding! The messages..they were sent to my ex-wife a long time ago. Before any of this, I swear…you have to believe me.”

Foxy narrows her thin brows, digging a sharp nail against his toned chest. “No, you listen—Peaches is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met; she's my other half, so when you hurt her…” A beat. “That’s it. She doesn’t forgive.”

His shoulders drop like an avalanche. “B-but it was a...you don’t mean that.”

The redhead struts away, long legs prancing like a vixen. “Believe me; don’t believe me—I don’t care. Just leave her alone.”

But he can’t do that anymore, he's in too deep. No matter how many times Foxy cursed him to leave, he just wouldn't. He would explain. Even if it were that last thing he did. All's fair after that. 

“Mr. Wolff?” A red drink is extended out towards him kindly, to which he shakes his head with a forced smile. If you can even call it that. He’s sure he looks awful, dressed in all black, but it perfectly represented him for who he is and how he was feeling. It’s almost as if he were ready to show up to a funeral. 

As time ticks at a snail's pace, he grows more nauseous. There’d be a moment where you see him and he doesn’t know how you would react. Fuck—he doesn’t know how he would, either. To some it may be embarrassing to weep in front of a group of worldly men, but if you looked at him a certain way where he knew it was over? He’d be the first, and without hesitation or shame. 

He’s come to recognize your set as fast as a racing strategy. The stage would light up a soft yellow; swallow the room like the early sun. The piano keys would start off slow, taunting, and almost sinister—Yayo. And of course, you’d prance around like a broken angel, wings brushing your hair like his long fingers would.

But this is strange.

He’s too busy analyzing the colorful club when the lights burn black, only the glass box raining a bright red. He doesn’t even recognize it’s you. 

The intro isn’t the notorious piano lullabies, but rather scratchy violins. Million Dollar Man slithers across the crowded room like a venomous snake, waiting to strike anyone who doesn’t lay their attention on them. 

And this time, you’re no angel, you’re no devil. You’re both. It’s confusing and alarming, but also beautiful and breathtaking. While your dress is cotton white, your makeup is dark and tempting, lips dark red. Your knee socks are tied with a simple ribbon, making men drool like some type of fuckery. You look miserably broken. If anyone were to guess, then they’d say that you’re high off drugs, but that’s not the case. You're high off heartbreak. 

And the simple necklace you wear, with his marriage ring attached to it, is a pelluid indication. Even if it was new level petty.

Toto is in such a trance that he doesn’t even feel when a group of hands push him to sit down, eager to have a clear view of their own. They all secretly envy the Austrian when they notice that he had landed himself the best seat in the house without even trying. 

So, was it fate to be sitting here, in front of you? Was it fate to have met, then hurt you without the means? The music is almost terrifying, along with your black wings and white halo. All of this is utterly puzzling; was he supposed to be into this, or fear it? Was he supposed to feel his heartbeat in the pit of his stomach, drumming against his ribcage, or was he supposed to be at ease? But most important; would you spare him this time to apologize, or would you kick him out of your life? The last notion scared him the most as he sat like a tired soldier, brown eyes blinking to where you start to seductively twirl.

I don’t know how you convince them and get them. Shiny legs drag behind your delicate figure as your eyes roam the room, sighing with every lustful stare. This is purely pathetic, it didn’t make you feel the way you intended for it to do, but shit. All you wanted to do was flee the state and never look back. But there were too many things tying you back; Foxy, Ro, Rosie…A stinging sensation begins to form behind your orbs and you fiercely blink them away, refusing for the thought of Toto to be what brings you down. 

But in a moment like this, what were you supposed to think about? Toto was many things; devilishly, cunningly handsome, tempting, brilliant, intoxicating; but he was also a fucking no-good, professional heartbreaker, a screwed up man who roamed earth without a sense of direction, who truly never deserved to fall in love again, especially with someone was tainted and loyal as you—

But the eyes don't lie. He’s become known by you; someone in your favorite book whom you look for in every page, despite it all. His orbs remind you of your favorite kind of dark chocolate, swirly and dreamy; enough to make you swoon, but they’re filled with more than just that. They’re desperate, as if ready to run endless miles if that's what it took for you to speak to him. They’re loopy, blazing nervously when you spot him, brows knitted with concern.

And he deserves it…you think.

Still, that doesn’t stop your stomach from churning, causing you to panic at the thought of spilling your lunch in front of everyone eyeing the glass box you're hidden behind; it could only ever do so much. Everyone can see your usually tantalizing persona fly out the window, a frail—shattered—girl taking your place. 

He’s tricked you. He made you let your guard down, let him in, and then ramshackled you whole; and he hadn’t been nice about it either. How could you have ever thought he would choose you over someone who actually held his kid for nine months? You had seen the messages that sunny morning; birds chirped, flowers bloomed. He had been busy doing God knows what, and when his bright laptop dinged, you couldn’t help but peek. As you once told him; you loved gossip.

Jack is asking if you remember where he last left his stuffed bear? You know, the one with the white spots? 

Susie. You had heard a lot about her—you’ve read, a lot, too— she was someone to admire. Helped create a path of perseverance for young girls; it was astonishing. The thought of Jack made you smile, then the bear, then her. Which is why you aimlessly scrolled once, playfully, and then you came to a rude halt. 

If someone were to grovel that way for you, you would helplessly fall for it. Fuck, he pratically begged for a second chance. Heat weaved through your body, anger rising, and then falling cruelly with a sense of undeniable ache. You had cried; sobbed. Then you got ready for work.

When he had asked what was wrong, you wanted to stab him with the nearby knife, and the thought scared you half to death. You could tell he was deeply wounded by the cold shoulder, but why the fuck should you care? 

Here—in Machiavellian Nights—trapped behind a transparent case, with disgusting men eyefucking you, you realize; there’s no place to run. An attraction is what you are; tourists are what they all represent. Toto’s massive figure swallowed his seat whole, long legs spread open naturally. And you hate it how handsome he looks, dark clouds painting his usually happy eyes. His chest dances up and down, wrestling to catch a breath. The hollers make him flinch in the slightest, grimacing.

The Austrian is apologizing, cryptically. I’m sorry—I’m so fucking sorry. His lips aren't moving, but you can hear his pleads as the music continues. 

C’mon! Dance, someone demands from afar, rough hand smacking the glass. Gasping, you purse your lips, continuing. Ignorance is horrible; especially coming from you. The idea of going on without you feel like a nightmare—torture. He tries standing up, and he doesn’t really know what his game plan is exactly in order to get to you, but heads turn and harsh arms force him back down. 

It isn’t that hard, boy. To like you, or love you. It was as if you got yanked back into what is truly your reality. You can’t have good things in life. Your father hadn’t died—he had abandoned you. Your mother did too. And Toto…

Toto Wolff was just the same.

You’re glad no one can hear you choking back on tears, you wouldn't dare to fall. But emotions were running high, your throat felt raw, your eyes stung, knees felt wobbly, and it was too much. But aside from your hurt, an eerie feeling hugged your chest, forcing your rib cage to poke you as a warning. You allow yourself to look back up, rapidly scanning the unlit room. Everything was blurry—which didn’t help—but what was it?

You’re no longer focused; your legs sway, your gartner slides down, your nose is starting to get runny, and it was all a mess. Connecting your gaze back to his, you narrow them down like deathly blades. This is all your fault, they scream at him, enraged. If you hadn’t walked into my life, then I wouldn’t be this way. 

You’re screwed up and brilliant. 

“You fucking ruined me!” Running towards the glass, you violently slap and punch, over and over until you no longer feel any pain. Red bruises form rather quickly and everyone begins to murmur.

Look like a million dollar man.

“I hate you, Toto Wolff!” Muffled whimpers flow like a waterfall as everyone turns to face the fifty-two year old who sits with a hurt expression. 

“I can explain,” he pleads, instantly rising up to his scary height and rushing over to where you’re caged. His large hand pathetically grasps it, fingerprints painting the shiny protection between you and him. “Sweetheart…”

So why is my heart broke?

“I’ll regret you for the rest of my—”

Chaos ensues; the volcano erupts. It’s suffocating, the way everyone tramples over one another, scattering like lab rats. The yells of terror make his blood run ice cold, swiftly turning around to face the open room. Foxy lets out a scream filled with agony as she crawls over to the stage. Acid slides down her face, makeup running. The other dancers run to hide where the bartender stands with his mouth wide open, orbs flickering with urgency. He doesn’t know what the hell is going on, but he has to get you out of here.

“Open it!” Foxy cries, hands hitting the clear box so forcefully that her nails begin to chip, light gore beginning to slide down. “Open the fucking stage right now!” She lets out a string of pleas, but no one is listening—they can’t even try to with all the loud noise. The alarms go off and that’s what snaps him out of his spot of confusion and what makes her cry and fall back against her arms.

The glass isn’t shattered like in the movies, all over the floor, no. There’s just a singular hole, scratches circling around it—and spikes of blood coloring the crystal clear mirror. 

Even with eyes closed, face sticky with tears, and blood spurting out of your mouth and chest, pooling around your angelic body, you were still beautiful. The ring lays flat atop your unbeating heart, shining one last time against the cherry lights. You were gone as soon as the bullet hit, but Toto was the last person you had seen. And you wish you had time to tell him you never meant any of it. You could never hate him; you loved him, you loved him, you loved him.

“I…no. No. No.” Fists punch urgently, cuts finding a place in his pale skin. “Open it!” More pounds. “Let her out! Why is no one letting her out?” Trepidation sleeks over him as he stops his actions, taking a second to look at you. Your dark wings had somehow turned darker, your white dress is now drowned in crimson red, your halo is no longer on your head, and your lively skin is now ghostly pale, almost gray. “Peaches…” His voice quivers so much, he almost doesn't realize it's coming from him. “Get up, sweetheart—come on, just stand.”

His chest tightens when you go unresponding. “T-think about Rosie! She loves you; she needs you. I need you,” he declares, voice cracking. “The text messages are a mishap! I only love you, Peaches, that’s all! I swear I do, I swear it’s you…”

He dreads to turn around and face what was now his life. The music cuts, but the frightful screams continue. Toto blinks back the stingy feeling as he flickers up to make eye contact with who’s responsible for ripping you away from him.

You share the same eyes, but hers are sullen now. Her hair looks as if it could have once been glossy, but is now as dry as the desert. Her lips are nastily chapped, but an uncanny curl slips through as she ticks anxiously when Ro and the rest of the guards hold her without an ounce of remorse, cuffing skinny, needled wrists.

Your mother looks down at the gun, at her daughter, then at Toto. An unhinged stare strikes her impentent face.

“I brought her into this world…I can also take her out.”

taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm @weekendlusting@chanshintien @brune77e @myownwritings @timmychalametsstuff @milasexutoire@alesainz @c-losur3 @darleneslane @togazzo @urfavnoirette @namgification @lpab @d3kstar @anniee-mr @nebarious

[blue-mood-blue]

I’ve grown to appreciate the aus where Shen Yuan enters the story as “Shen Yuan” - same name, probably similar face, generally able to interact with PIDW as himself and change the story through his added presence. I like the sense of “if only you’d been here, things might have been better the first time around” of it all.

And I was thinking, it’s a funny coincidence in that scenario that someone named Shen Yuan gets put into… another Shen Yuan. What are the chances? What a weird twist of fate that Airplane would pick out the name that his most dedicated critic could slip into seamlessly.

What about a version where it’s not coincidence at all?

Airplane goes to school with a kid named Shen Yuan. He’s prickly and hard to approach and a little intense, but Airplane is persistent. In fairness, Airplane is relentless - and maybe it’s a good thing that they end up being friends, because they’re a little too much for anyone else to handle. They balance each other out. They’re the “weird kids” in class and they’re okay with that, because even when they don’t have any words for it, they know they’re not like their classmates, not really. That’s okay; they don’t want to be.

Recesses and breaks are consumed with the elaborate stories that Airplane wants to tell, and all the holes Shen Yuan pokes into them. It’s not mean-spirited, though, even though Shen Yuan isn’t the kind to temper his words. It’s passionate. He cares about those stories the way Airplane cares about them, and it can’t be mistaken for anything else when they lean together conspiratorially across the lunchroom table. They’ve both got notebooks filled with details and characters and monsters. Shen Yuan’s practically got a whole bestiary sketched out in wobbly childhood attempts at art, entries fervently scrawled beside them. Airplane prattles out plots nonstop, always with the promise of shining eyes and being asked “what happens next?”

They come up with a whole world together. Airplane’s going to write about it someday. Shen Yuan is going to read every word.

Shen Yuan misses school. Shen Yuan starts missing school a lot.

Airplane goes to the hospital room instead. He doesn’t think to worry, because Shen Yuan is okay - that’s what he says. He looks okay, and he’s a kid, and it doesn’t feel real that anything bad should happen to a kid. He doesn’t think to worry. He doesn’t think to say goodbye.

It’s one of the older Shen brothers who catches him on the way up to the room one day, in the hallway just outside - snaps at him to go the fuck home, and when Airplane hesitates, pushes him into the elevator and tells him not to come back. “Tells” is a generous way to describe the way the words come out - a growl, a hiss, the sound an animal would make when a hand got too close to a wound.

(It’s not fair to name a villain after him, even if the name never really comes up in the story. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He’d lost a brother minutes before, and he was getting his brother’s friend out of the way so he didn’t have to… see. It isn’t fair, but then, none of it is fair.)

Death feels very real after that.

The notebooks get shoved into a closet, and it’s not until Airplane’s moving out and one falls on him from a high shelf that he thinks about it again. He’s written things, lots of things, but nothing as ambitious as this - nothing as important. It could be good, he considers. He’d promised. Shen Yuan wanted to read it.

The problem was that no one else does, not for a long time, not until Airplane has whittled himself and his art into a corner and into such an unfamiliar shape that he has to wonder how it’s still his own face he sees in the mirror. He has to eat. He has to pay rent. Shen Yuan would yell at him, but Shen Yuan isn’t there to yell at him, and who cares. Who cares if it could have been better? The people who actually are here love it, and it’s paying his bills, and sometimes stories don’t go the way they’re supposed to and the world is fucking unfair. It doesn’t matter.

(It does. But he shoves that thought away along with styrofoam cups and soda bottles to the bottom of a garbage bag.)

Authors are not gods and their power is limited, but Airplane exercises just a sliver of what he’s been granted and gifts an inconsequential sort of immortality. He thinks about making him a rogue cultivator, maybe the kind that goes around documenting beasts and compiling his findings. He thinks about making him someone too powerful for death to touch, or too important to threaten, but when Airplane looks at the world he crafted and everything that’s become of it, it feels like the kindest thing he can do for Shen Yuan is a childhood where he’s loved, and a death that’s peaceful. What does it say about that world, that he’d kill off his best friend too early again instead of making him live there?

(The best writing he ever does is the only, shining moment of humanity that his scum villain ever displays: a lament about death that comes too early, about a brother gone too soon. The commenters praise him. The commenters flatter over how real the emotions feel. The commenters don’t get any response from Airplane on that chapter.)

Death is incredibly real when it comes for him too early, too, still hovering over his keyboard with the story technically finished and incredibly incomplete. Airplane could tell himself that’s because the written version can never be the version in the writer’s head, always shifting and with every possibility still on the table, but he knows better than that. The System knows better than that, with its condescending message about “improving” his writing and “closing plot holes” and “achieving his original vision”...

…and he’s a child again. He’s a child in his own story, he’s Shang Qinghua now without the benefit yet of a peak or cultivation or anything, and maybe he’s a little bitter, and a little scared, and…

And Shen Yuan - with longer hair, with robes, with a couple of older kids watching him from across the street, but undeniably the prickly little boy who used to sit down imperiously across from him and tell him everything that was wrong with the chuck of writing that had been handed to him last period, but with that smile that said he was only invested because he knew it could be better and they were going to make it better - marches up to him with a fire in his eyes and a frown that warns of a coming tirade.

“You told it wrong,” is the first thing he says.

Shang Qinghua wants to ask how him how he’s here, how this is possible, or maybe laugh because, yeah - yeah, Shen Yuan has no goddamn idea how wrong he got absolutely everything.

(Shang Qinghua wants to say “I missed you” and “why did you leave so soon” but he’s here now. He’s right here.)

“I know,” he says instead. “I’m sorry. It all kind of… spiraled out of control.”

Shen Yuan frowns, but then it dissipates the way it always does, and his eyes shine with ideas the way they always used to. “That’s okay,” he relents, grabbing for his hand. “We’ll fix it. We’ll make it what it was supposed to be.”

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.2 K Warnings: none Prompt: What will happen when yet another full moon approaches, could things start to change? This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

ANOUNCMENT:

In a couple of weeks I'll make a Q&A to cellebrate Gilded Constellations reaching 100,000 K words. And I'd love for all of you to be a part of it. So send in your questions, they can be anything you want, things like: How did you get the idea? Where does inspo come from? writing tips (I mean I don’t know much but anyway), character design, fancast, fav characters, things about me, about my plot notebook, literally anything you want, ask away (just state: For Q&A event or something) <3

Chapter 13: “Rebel, Rebel.”

October, 22nd (Friday)

A week after the incident, your mom had already sent your old Viper, but the Nimbus company had yet to respond to your letter. You’d gotten used to your older broom pretty fast. Muscle memory must really be a thing, since the moment you mounted it, it was like you’d been doing it forever. 

James was right, the Viper was a lot more stable than other brooms. More than Sirius’ SweepFire, and probably more than the Dark Nimbus itself. But it was slower, you’d already gotten used to the fast accelerations your Dark Nimbus had, and now you had to be extra attentive of the ball so you could make a move before it had enough time to get past you and onto one of the goals. Regardless of the slowness, the Viper was sturdier and heavier, which made it easier to do tricks like the backflip people still wouldn’t stop talking about. Last Tuesday you’d even attempted to surf on it, and you managed to do perfectly fine for a couple of meters until James spotted you and gave you the longest talk about being responsible and not doing stupid things, the hypocrite. But he was on captain mode and when he got on that mood it was absolutely useless to talk him out of it, so you nodded and promised you wouldn’t do it again, even if you probably would at some point. 

You told Lily about dating Sirius as soon as you were feeling better, she asked you so many questions, from how it’d happen to how good were Sirius’ kisses. She had been told he was really good by a girl back in 5th year, and she wanted to know if it was true or if the girl was just obsessed with Sirius like most girls in school. You omitted the fact that you probably were just as obsessed with him as they were and confirmed that Sirius was indeed a good kisser, not that you’d kissed all that many people before, but still. The rest of your friends had slowly found out about your new relationship, be it for the way Sirius sat next to you a lot more often now, because his teasing and flirting had gotten a lot stronger. Or, in the case of Tom, because he’d accidentally found you snogging on an empty classroom, at least he just gave you a thumbs up, a cheeky smile, and whispered something like “Keep it going guys! You’re doing great”.  Both you and Sirius had separated to laugh about it when Tom closed the door. 

“You ready?” Sirius asked with a smile, pulling you from your thoughts.  You looked at him with a daring face. 

You know that thing you were told not to do a couple of days ago and you promised you wouldn’t? Well, that promise lasted exactly 4 days, 3 hours and a couple of minutes. James was busy with an essay he’d forgotten about, and you and Sirius had gone flying together, and unfortunately, neither of you had a clear enough sense of self-preservation when you were around each other. Especially not after someone said, “I dare you to…” 

You were slowly standing over your broom, hands extended to try and keep your balance. Neither of you was flying too high, that way if you fell you wouldn’t get too hurt. Once you had managed to maintain your balance you nodded “Ready,” you said with a wink, and the two of you started broom surfing, picking up speed as you glided through the open fields of the school. As you were about to reach the finish line, you realized the grass was moving in a funny way right in front of you, and you frowned.  

“Hey Sirius I think–“ you started, but it was too late, something had yanked both of your brooms down and caused you to tumble down to the grass. You’d fallen over and rolled a couple of meters while he’d fallen over something, or rather someone. As you looked up you realized he was right on top of Remus, who had popped out of nowhere (probably the invisibility cloak). As the two of them sorted themselves out you stood up quickly and looked around, spitting some of the grass that had gotten inside your mouth. And then you spotted them, Barty Crouch and Evan Rosier, hiding behind a stone wall. You took your wand out and pointed it at them. Evan seemed to pull back but Barty just smiled wickedly “The fuck is wrong with you?” You roared, already walking towards where they stood. 

Barty walked head high towards you too “You saw them fall, Evan? It was hilarious!” 

“Fall? You must be bIoody delusional if you think you’re going to trick me with that! I felt the way my broom was yanked down.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a smile “Do you Evan?” 

Evan shook his head, as if Barty needed a sidekick to be vile. 

“You’re begging for me to break your stupid nose again,” you replied as you looked at him impassively. 

“I’d like to see you try,” he said smugly. 

You pointed your wand at his face, but Remus stood in front of you, calmly placing his hand over the one you used to hold your wand and pushing it down a little, to prompt you to do it yourself. 

Sirius stood still next to Remus, looking at Barty with hate, but keeping a strong grip on his wand. 

“Remus what the–“

“–He’s provoking you,” he told you calmly “he wants you to react.” 

“Yeah, well maybe I want to react,” you retorted, now slightly irritated at your friend’s actions. He just looked at you, shook his head calmly and softly ran his thumb over your forearm, still pushing it lightly down. If anyone knew about anger management it was Remus Lupin.

“Hey,” he said softly, looking at you straight in the eye, trying to get you to focus on him, rather than on Barty looking at you cockily from behind “Look at me luv,” he cooed, you looked at him for a second but turned your eyes back to Barty “I’m fine, Pads’s fine, you’re fine. There is no need to fight.” 

“You could’ve gotten hurt, we could’ve–“ 

“–Listen to me. Don’t give him the satisfaction of rilling you up. You don’t want him to be the cause of Gryffindor losing points, do you? That’s probably why he’s–“ 

“–yeah, go ahead (Y/N), listen to your boyfriends, they know what’s best,” Evan taunted from behind, you clenched your jaw. But took a deep breath, finally lowering your wand. Maybe you should’ve put him in his place then and then, how different would things have ended up if you actually had? 

“You know what Barty? Remus is right, you aren’t even worth my time.” You said standing straighter “At least be more creative with your petty jokes next time, all right? Maybe then you’d at least keep me entertained.” Then you turned around and used your wand to pull both yours and Sirius’ broom to your hands and walked back to the castle, lagging just a second so Sirius and Remus would walk by your side. 

“I want to strangle him,” you told them once you thought the two Slytherins were out of earshot.

“You and me both,” Sirius agreed, taking his broom from your hands, but lingering as his fingers brushed over yours “I probably would have, had Remus not stopped me first.” You looked at him for a moment and then recalled, Sirius was still on top of Remus because of the fall when you speed-walked towards the two Slytherin boys.  “And he’s right, the last thing we want is to start an open war in between us and his stupid gang.” 

“But they already started it, we’re just not doing anything about it.” You reproached, still a little riled up, the urge to punch Barty was wearing you thin, “Anyway, I do not want to have detention while everyone’s enjoying themselves at the Halloween party next week.” 

Remus smiled “How do you know about that?” 

“Tom and Beth told me all about the party you guys always plan together, I’m already preparing my costume.” 

“Is it gonna be a sexy Halloween costume, luv?” Sirius chimed in, leaning towards you with a little smirk on his face. 

 You pushed him back playfully “Ugh… don’t be such a dog!” 

Remus laughed at that, “I’m sure you’d look pretty even in a sack of potatoes.” 

“Yeah, in a very short one,” Sirius teased even further. 

“If only my boyfriend was as much of a gentleman as his friend here,” you said with a playful sight.

“You clearly don’t know Moony’s dark side,” Sirius chimed. 

You arched your eyebrows at that “And you do?” 

Sirius was about to respond when Beth showed up, looking a bit agitated as If she had been running “There you are!” She said as she stood in front of the three “Professor Spellman wants to see us earlier today, something about a special announcement.”

You frowned “Right now?” You asked. She nodded. 

“But we haven’t eaten!” Sirius complained. 

“I don’t think it’ll take too much,” Beth said with a shrug, “But it did seem rather urgent.” 

You nodded and the four of you started walking towards the North Tower. When you arrived, you realized they hadn’t exclusively called your class, in fact, the entire school year had somehow crammed inside the classroom. There were barely any sits left, when Tom saw Beth, he quickly waved to her and she went to sit besides him. You scanned the room and found only one table free, you rolled your eyes when you realized Evan and a Slytherin girl from his year whose name slipped your mind were sitting behind it. You looked at Sirius and pointed at the only free spot with a nudge of your head. 

He rolled his eyes but the three of you walked towards the table, the boys pushed the two chairs together and you squeezed in between the two. Leaning ahead a little so they could accommodate their larger backs onto the chair. Sirius had placed his hand on your tight under the table, and you gave him a look, “I’m gonna fall if I don’t grab onto something,” he said with an innocent smile.

“Yeah, sure enough, Puppy,” you replied playfully. 

“Hm… that’s the fifth from this week,” he said as he squeezed your tight.

Then you felt something pull your hair from behind. You turned around pissed and Evan was smiling “What? Did I ruin your cuddle time with your two boyfriends?”

You looked at him, but smirked “Why, you jelly?” You asked but didn’t give him enough time to reply, “You should know by now that my cuddle time knows no bounds. It's an exclusive club with a very long waiting list. But don't worry, I can squeeze you in somewhere between Tuesdays and never." 

Evan’s face turned sour while Sirius looked at you with a proud smirk and Remus laughed, chest rumbling behind you. He was about to retaliate when Professor Spellman walked in. So you decided to piss him off even further “Shh honey…” you said as condescendingly as possible “Teacher’s about to speak,” finally you turned around with a smirk. 

Remus gave you a side eye and placed his hand, palm facing up, just above your lap, raising his eyebrows, you understood what he meant in a second and high-fived him instantly, giving him a wink before leaning over the desk a little, to give the two boys some space. 

When Spellman finally reached his desk, he gave you a stern look “Miss (Y/LN), why are you sitting between Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin?” 

“There was nowhere else to sit,” you replied, motioning to the crammed classroom “I can sit on the floor if you want though.” 

The Professor sighed but nodded, “That won’t be necessary, this won’t take too long,” he said, before waving his wand and letting a long banner unroll from the ceiling over the chalkboard.

It read: The Moon and the Stars

“As some of you who keep up with the astral cycle may know, next Sunday is full moon,” Spellman said, you felt Remus tense behind you, which made you frown, but the professor kept talking, and you ended up shrugging it off “And not only that, but a very interesting phenomenon will also occur, it will be a bIood moon, which makes it the perfect moment for an astrology class,” He said with a proud smile “You will all be excused from today’s class in exchange for 2 hours of your Sunday night.” There was a mix of groans and cheers in the classroom, from those who were happy about not having class, and those who were upset about having class on a Sunday “Class will start at 10 pm,” Spellman continued, not giving the children time to protest “bring your notebooks and telescopes, those who have their own. We will meet in the Astronomy tower. Any questions?” 

A Ravenclaw boy raised his hand “What happens if we can’t make it?” 

“I highly doubt you’ll have anything better to do on Sunday night Mr. Finchley,” the professor responded sassily. Remus, who looked like he wanted to say something, decided to let it go, and sank back on the chair. The professor waited a couple more seconds, to see if anyone else had a question, but upon no one’s answer he clapped his hands together “Excellent, you’re excused now. See you on Sunday.” 

Sirius was the first one to stand up, letting you out through his side, while Remus seemed to be a little troubled. Your boyfriend placed a hand over his shoulder “It’s ok mate, we’ll figure it out,” he told him. You looked at the exchange with curiosity but it dissipated the moment Lily appeared out of nowhere and hooked her arm around yours.

“The girls and I are going to go prepare some droughts at the potions classroom now, hair and grooming stuff, you said you wanted to brew a special something for your Halloween costume, yeah?” 

You nodded, Sirius raised an eyebrow “Special something?” 

You smiled in response “If you guess it, I’ll give you a prize,” you said confidently, he would not guess your Halloween costume, even if he tried a thousand times. 

“Anything I want?” He asked suggestively. 

You laughed in response “Sure Puppy, anything you want,” you told him before walking out with Lily, the girls were waiting just outside the door.

“That was the 6th!” You heard Sirius say from behind. 

Lily raised an eyebrow “What’s that all about,” she asked. You giggled in response “Let’s just say dear Sirius and I have a bit of an arrangement, I can call him Puppy whenever I want, but he gets some kisses in return.” 

She laughed at your answer “Why aren’t I surprised?” 

You shrugged with a smile, finally catching up with the girls “You wanted to make a glow potion, right?” Mary asked, “Like the one Marlene drank on her birthday?” 

“Yup, I think I’ve got all the ingredients ready too,” you told her, checking the little rattan bag inside your backpack where you’d been placing all the necessary stuff. 

Lily gave a small peak to the bag and frowned “I don’t think you’ve got glow-weed yet.” 

Tom, who seemed to have shown up out of nowhere started to walk by Lily’s side “Why do you need weed?” 

You laughed “Glow-weed,” Beth corrected “not weed, weed.” 

“Hmmm… that’s not as fun.” He said, scrunching his nose a little “What for?” 

“(Y/N’s) Halloween Costume,” Marlene answered casually.

“Oh, you’re gonna be a fairy or something?” He asked excitedly.

You paled at that and turned to him wide-eyed “If you tell Sirius Black about it, I’ll strangle you.” 

“Cheeky,” he replied, leaning closer to you, which made you roll your eyes and push him back. 

“Please don’t tell Sirius?” 

“Why?” 

“She promised Sirius a prize if he guessed. She specifically said anything he wanted,” Lily chimed in. 

Tom looked at Lily and then turned his gaze back to you, impressed “So really cheeky then.” 

“Toooom!” You whined. 

“My lips are sealed,” he said, passing a hand over them as if he was zipping them and then placing his hand over his chest. How dramatic, you thought, but then again, you were the one dating Sirius Black, so who were you to judge? 

“Why didn’t you just tell him about your costume?” Asked Beth. 

You sighed “He was going on and on about sexy Halloween costumes, he would not stop bothering me if I did.” You responded simply, by then you were already outside the potions classroom. Professor Slughorn was in his office, and Lily had been the one inside and asked for permission to enter. He was more than happy to let you guys in to practice potions that he even gave Lily the key to the ingredients room, giving you free rein to use whatever you might need. 

When Lily came out, shaking the key in her hand with a smile Marlene rolled her eyes “Teacher’s pet,” she teased. 

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug “but, I just got our hands on the Ingredients Supply, and Slughorn said we could take whatever we wanted.”

“Sweet!” Said Tom as he took the keys from Lily’s hands and led all the way to the ingredients room. He took out a little paper from his pocket and started looking for some stuff, all the while you tried to find some of that glow-weed.  

When you finally found it you looked at the combination of stuff he’d placed in his basket and narrowed your eyes at him in suspicion “That’s not for beauty products is it?” 

He shook his head with a little smirk “I’m working on a little something,” he said, “also for the Halloween party.” 

You raised your eyebrow, looking at the stuff he’d gathered so far “Essence of Laughing Lily, Blissberry Extract, Frolic Fizzweed Leaves, Lavender Essence, are you by any chance making–“ 

He shook his head and placed a finger over your mouth “–Shhhhh! If Lily busts us, we won’t be having any fun.”

You smiled complicity “Well then, keep working on your little magical project,” you said, and then leaned in closer to whisper “If you add Moonstone Shimmer, you can make the potion a bit more potent overall.” You raised your eyebrows and winked before walking back to the table on which you’d be working. Marlene was next to you, and she’d set herself to prepare a special hand cream since the weather was getting colder. 

Beth was working on an enchanting hair serum that she’d run out of. And Lily said she was working on a “perfect curls potion,” also for the Halloween party. 

“Would you mind borrowing me some of that on the Halloween party?” You asked her when she told you what she was working on. 

She nodded “In fact, I’m making a lot extra,” she replied with a smile “To keep a stash on our bathroom.” 

“You’re brilliant!” You told her with a smile. 

“I’m working on some radiant complexion elixir, also for our bathroom,” Mary said. “We’re giving some of our stuff to Beth and she’s gonna borrow some of her hair stuff. We’ll all be stocked up in beauty products?” 

“And you do this all the time?” You asked with a smile. 

“A couple times a year, yeah,” said Marlene from her table.

“Genious, can I help with anything?” 

“I was actually thinking of using some of your glow potion and add it to the one I’m making, for glowier hair,” Beth told you, you smiled and nodded. 

“Oh, that would look amazing!” You agreed, “A bit on the radiant complexion would probably work wonders too.” 

“Yes, it would!” Lily said with a nod. “And what are you working on Tom?” She asked, turning to the boy. 

He turned to her like a deer trapped in headlights, and then crossed his eyes over at you, pleading for help “After shave lotion, right?” You said casually “So that the shave lasts longer, you mentioned?” 

He nodded “Ye– yeah… I heard Remus complain about his freshly shaved face lasting nothing, and I thought, same mate. Decided to do something about it.” 

You kept a tight smile as you gave him a look. Tom was a shitty liar. “Right! I’m sure that recipe James got you from Fleamont will be brilliant.” Tom nodded and went back to his preparations. 

“Why would you need Frolic Fizzweed Leaves for an aftershave lotion?” Lily asked, more to herself than to the rest. 

You shrugged “Must be one of those secret Potter family tricks,” you said with a shrug, and then smiled when you concluded it would be the perfect time to tease your friend “I’m sure if you married Potter your in-laws would be more than happy to tell you all about them.” 

Lily gave you a reproachful look, but Marlene added to the conversation “It’d be great, that way they could get back the potion-making talent they lost on with James.” 

“James isn’t bad at potions!” She said with a shrug, not quite thinking before she spoke.

Your smile grew “Really? Tell us all about your boy’s talents.” 

“He’s not my boy.” 

“Pretty sure he is, at least in his point of view,” added Tom as he mixed some things in his cauldron. 

“Why don’t you guys tease (Y/N) with Sirius instead?” Lily said as she chopped some of her ingredients with a bit of a frown. 

“They’re dating already, what is there to tease them about?” Mary said with a shrug, “If you want us to stop teasing you, you should just date Potter.” 

You all laughed at that, but no one continued to tease poor Lily any further. As you went back to your table next to Marlene, you realized she was already mixing stuff in her cauldron. You figured most of your friends would be done with their potions before your next meal, so you decided to concentrate on your brew. 

Getting the extract from the glow weed, was the most complicated part since it required an intricate spell and some special distillation skills, but you managed to do it after just a couple of tries. Once that was done, the rest of the potion was actually pretty simple, all you had to do was add the ingredients at the right time and mix according to the instructions. When you finished, you had a cauldron filled with glow potion, it had a golden colour, slightly bright, almost as if there was some light source hidden in the inside of it. You took out the crystal bottles you’d gotten for today and used a ladle to slowly pour the liquid onto them, placing some of the potion in a small bottle with a dropper, and handed it over to your friends so they could add their drops on the potions they’d made.

When you were done, everyone was pleased with their own potions, especially Tom, who had somehow managed to finish his mystery potion without anyone else figuring out what he was making, he placed it on a small crystal bottle with a golden cap and a transparent liquid. You all walked back to the dorms together and divided the little vials amongst Beth and your room. She wasn’t all that close with her roommates, so she took smaller, personal-sized potions while your room got the bigger vials and flasks. Once you placed your small bottle on your trunk, next to some of the other stuff you’d already prepared for your costume, you walked downstairs to wait for the girls in the common room, you grabbed the book Nina had lent you and sat on the couch. Tom came down and plopped down beside you minutes later. 

“What are you reading?” He asked taking the book from your hands and reading the back cover “A spicy werewolf novel?” 

“It was recommended.” 

“Yeah, I bet,” he said with a bit of a cheeky smile and started flipping through the pages, stopping in on a page with a drawing of a shirtless man and eyeing it “Damn, he could rile me.” You raised an eyebrow, “Just look at him!” 

You laughed at that “Didn’t know you liked boys.” 

He shook his head “It’s not that I like them,” he said “I just don’t care if they’re boys, or girls, or anything…” 

You nodded, thinking about it for a second “I think I don’t either.” 

He gave you his signature bright smile and placed his arm over your shoulder, bringing you slightly closer to him “Welcome to the club!”

“Are there many others like us in the school?” 

“You’d be surprised, most of them hide it quite well though, you wouldn’t expect it, you know a few, but it’s not for me to tell. We Brits are pretty open-minded you see.” 

You nodded, “Definitely better than in my old school.” 

When the girls finally came downstairs you all walked out of the common room together, and you stayed with them until you had to split ways since they’d taken a different extracurricular. You walked half of the way to your classroom when you spotted Remus walking by himself, who also walked towards the classroom, so you picked up your pace and caught up with him “Nice to see you again, Rem!” You told him with a smile. 

“How did potion making go?” He asked politely. 

“Excellent, my costume is almost ready!” 

“You’re really going big with it, aren’t you?” He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

You nodded “It’s my first Halloween at Hogwarts, you guys have set the bar pretty high according to Marlene, I’ve gotta match those high standards.” 

“She said that?” 

You nodded “She told me all about your costumes from previous years, how last Halloween you dressed up as the teachers, McGonagall was mortified when she saw Prongs with an exact replica of her green robes.” 

Remus laughed, remembering that moment “Yeah, she did.” 

“What about you? What are you dressing as this year?” 

He sighed, “Frankly, I don’t have a plan yet, last year was Pads’ idea, and we all followed through, but this year he had a pretty rough summer break and didn’t plan any group costumes, we’re all making our own.” 

“I think you should be a pirate!” You told him simply. 

“A pirate?” 

“You’ve got the sexy pirate vibe going on already, why not?” You asked with a shrug. 

“Sexy pirate vibe?” He asked in disbelief. 

You nodded “Ask anyone, they’ll confirm it.” 

“Confirm what?” James asked as he caught up with the two of you 

“That Remus looks like a sexy pirate.” 

James raised his eyebrows at your words, looking a little impressed, and then turned to his friend “Hmmm…. Yeah, I see it.” 

“See? Told you! It was literally the first impression I got from you.” 

“When I went to pick you up at Dumbledore’s office?” He asked, rather confused.

You shook your head “No! When we you bumped into me at the station. I saw you, and instantly came flashbacks of those spicy novels with shirtless men on the cover.” 

When James heard it, he laughed like a madman, you were right, Moony definitely had the type. “Yours would have you, holding onto the ship’s mast with a barely buttoned white shirt, and the title would be something like The Beast Within,” James said in between laughs. 

Remus gave James a warning look, but you were too occupied gasping at James’ boldness “Are you implying Remus is a beast in bed, Merlin! James, I did not expect you to be cheating on Lily with your best friend!” 

Now it was Remus’ turn to laugh, James’ dumb joke had turned on him “Yeah James, please explain how you’d know anything about my nightly activities… I could be a gentle lover for all you know.” 

“I don’t know about that,” you teased “You do give off the beast in bed vibe.” 

Remus gasped “I’m the chillest of the group.” 

You nodded “It’s always the quiet ones,” you said with an air of mystery. 

When you arrived at the classroom, the three of you struggled to gain back composure and to calm down after the fit of laughter you’d caused each other. Remus went to sit beside Sirius, the first thing he did, was ask him what they were all laughing about, and after being told the story he ended up agreeing with you on two of the things said, First: Remus had to dress as a pirate now, there was no other option. Second: Moony would definitely be a beast in bed. 

Saturday came and went, this time you actually got to go to Hogsmeade for the first time, even if it was more of a business run than a pleasure one, the boys were so focused on getting all the stuff for the party ready that you barely even saw Sirius while you were in town. You spend most of the day with the girls, jumping from shop to shop to get some of the last bits you needed for everyone’s costume. Mary was going to go the easy route, she decided she’d dress as a kitten, her plan was to grab some cat ears and a tail, and enchant them to move like those of a real cat would. 

Marlene was going to do a matching costume with Holden, they’d both go as Sonny and Cher from the video “I Got You Babe”. Marlene had even gotten her hands on a long black wig and a small fur coat. And Holden had actually bought a hair-lengthening potion to match the look. You were certain the two of them would look incredible in their outfits. Beth was going to dress as an astronaut since she was very passionate about space exploration and some of the newer muggle technology advancements. Tom was going to dress up as a vampire and had convinced you to help him charm his canines to look like fangs.

James tried to persuade Lily to do a couple’s costume with him, but she refused every single time he asked, in the end, she decided she’d go as Ophelia, from Hamlet. When James found out he asked Remus to give him a short summary of the story and decided he’d be dressing up as Hamlet, to match with Lily even if she wasn’t expecting it. You honestly considered warning him against it, but he seemed so hopeful and they would look absolutely adorable in the photos so you decided against it. Peter said he’d dress as Edmund Pevensie, from  "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” a book he had read when he took the muggle literature with Remus in 4th year, he’d convinced Teddy Hawthorn to dress as Peter, Annabeth Doxon to be Susan and a girl who you hadn’t met yet to be Lucy.  

Since you didn’t tell Sirius what you were dressing as, he decided he wouldn’t tell you either, so both of your costumes would be a surprise to each other. 

Unfortunately, your visit to Hogsmeade was so hectic, like everyone else’s, that you didn’t even have time to visit any of the restaurants your friends always talked about, you did see the Three Broomsticks from afar, it seemed like a nice and cozy little pub, very English in its type. Tom mentioned they made mean Beef Pasties and even if you weren’t quite sure they were, the way he described them them made them seem utterly delicious. He promised to treat you to some next time you went to Hogsmeade. 

By Sunday, you were all spent, dedicating a good deal of the day to work on your costumes, Hagrid had gifted some pumpkins to Peter and you were carving along with him and Remus in the common room, Beth was gluing some patches to her astronaut costume and Lily worked on adding some details to her dress. James and Sirius were up in their dorm, since James had to work on his secret Hamlet costume, and Sirius on his own secret costume. 

“How does it look,” you said as you turned around your pumpkin for Peter to see it.

He winced when he saw it, but was too nice to say anything negative about it “It’s… a little wonky, it… uh… works with the Halloween theme?” 

You laughed in response and pulled out the book of practical spells Nina had lent you, being sure there had to be something useful there. 

“Want some help?” Remus asked politely, taking your pumpkin and using a small blade to straighten some of your cuts. 

You placed a hand over his shoulders and thanked him before going back to the book, still trying to find a useful spell, but there wasn’t exactly a Halloween section on the index. When you turned back to look at your pumpkin, Remus had already finished up refining it and it looked incredible.

“That’s… Remus, you’re incredible with your hands!” 

“That’s what she said,” Peter said, almost automatically. 

You gasped “Peter!” you said as a little smile drew from your lips. He looked up from his pumpkin mortified, you giggled “Didn’t know you had it in you to make dirty jokes.” 

“You do remember I literally sleep in the same room that Sirius, right? The ability just rubs into me,” he told you with a little smile. You laughed along with Remus. 

You heard some steps from behind and finally saw both Sirius and James walk down the stairs, Sirius casually leaned closer to you and placed a fast kiss on your lips before turning to Moony. You realized he had some glitter on his hair and passed your hand over it to shake it off as he spoke “Ready to go Moons? Pete?” 

Remus checked his watch, and nodded “Yeah, I should probably get going, I’ll see you guys there?”

Peter nodded, “I’ll stay here for a couple minutes more, I want to finish this pumpkin, but I’ll be there.” 

“Excellent, it’s settled then.” 

Sirius finally turned to you, since you were still fluffing his hair “You done love?” 

You shook your head “haven’t seen you much this weekend,” you said with a pout, not quite wanting to take your hands off his head. 

He smiled and tilted his head just a little “Don’t tempt me, I’ll end up staying.” 

You laughed at that, but you knew how important the marauder’s jokes were, so you shook your head “Go ahead trouble, I’ll see you at divinations, yeah?” 

He gave you a look and shrugged with a smile on his face, before giving you a wink and running out behind Peter and James, who had already walked out of the portrait. 

“You’re not planning to skip divinations, are you?” You asked Peter, who gave you an awkward smile in reply. 

“And Remus just said yes?” 

Peter seemed a little nervous at your question, but you didn’t quite understand why he would be “We…. Um— It’s very important business.” 

You frowned, a little unconvinced but nodded, deciding not to question him further, “Ok then, I’ll cover for you lot. I’ll tell Spellman you ate something at Hogsmeade yesterday and that you’re feeling dreadful or something.” 

Peter finally met your gaze “You’d do that for us?” 

“Of course I would!” You said, as if it was obvious “You’re my friends, I’d cover for you any day.” 

Peter smiled “You’re the best!” 

You and Peter cleaned the table and placed the pumpkins near the window before he left. Once he was gone you moved closer to the girls, both Beth and Lily were still working on their costumes, “Need any help?” You asked politely. 

Lily shook her head, but Beth responded “Yeah, can you pass me some of those patches please.” She said as she pointed at the table filled with patches, you carefully picked them up and handed them over. Letting yourself fall on the couch once you were done. You picked up the book Nina had lent you, the spicy novel this time, and finally started to read through it. You’d actually enchanted the cover since clearly it called everyone’s attention with the original one. Now it looked like a copy of a regular old spell book.

“Uh… I’m gonna feel bad if you keep studying while I’m working on a costume.” Lily Pouted from her place on the floor. 

You chuckled “I’m not actually studying though, It’s a spicy romance book Nina lent me, the cover was a bit extra, so I charmed it.” 

Lily gasped, with a smile drawing on her lips as she did. “You sly fox!” 

You smiled at that, laughing as you said “Oh… trust me, you’ve got no idea.” 

“And.. Is it actually spicy?” Beth asked, not looking up from her costume.

You shrugged, “Not sure, haven’t even met the main love interest so far, I’m barely starting the book. But I’ll tell you if it’s good.” You told her before going back to read. Every now and then they would ask you for small favors like holding the fabric for a second or passing something that was closer to you than it was to them. It was nice to just chill with the two redheads for a while. 

After some time Mary and Marlene came from the stairs, you pulled your head from the book and turned to the girls “Is it already time for class?” You asked, surprised.

Mary nodded “9:30, you see?”

“We should probably start walking there, in case the stairs decide to be funny today,” you said as you stood up. 

Both Lily and Beth grabbed their costumes and carefully sat them over a table, you wrote a small note and placed it over them, so that other Gryffindors wouldn’t grab them by accident, or after trying to admire them. Once it was done, you started walking towards the class, Tom caught up with you halfway there, and you all arrived at the astronomy tower with a couple of minutes left. Professor Spellman was already there, and a couple of students were pulling out their own telescopes as well, Tom included among them. The moon was already starting to. fade. According to Tom, who wouldn’t shut up about the way the BIood Moon worked “The moon will almost disappear completely before we can see it again, and when we do, it will turn red.” 

He seemed so fascinated by the event you decided not to tell him you’d read all about it on the pages of the divination book Professor Spellman had you read for today’s class. At some point a Hufflepuff boy walked closer to Tom, smiling brightly as he greeted him “How’s it going Tom?” 

Tom smiled back at him “Brilliant, I was just telling (Y/N) here about the mechanisms of the BIood Moon.” 

“Really? I’d love to hear all about it!” The boy said with a smile. 

You gave Tom a look, raising an eyebrow, he just smiled and winked in return, “Right! I’m sure Tom will know lots about it, I think Marlene’s calling me. See you boys around!” You said, giving Tom a knowing look, and letting the two boys flirt by themselves. 

You were about to walk towards Marlene, when you heard the same howls from the time when you’d gone to the greenhouses with Lily, a lot further away this time, but the same nonetheless. So instead, you turned around and walked to the window closest to the sound. When you reached, you leaned over the edge just a little, to try and see better, but there was nothing but an endless sea of trees, wherever the things making the sound were, they must have been very deep inside the dark forest. Then you felt someone push you over the balcony violently, just to pull you back again with a vicious grip on your shirt “Careful, you may fall,” you heard Evan’s stupid voice as he pretty much pulled you towards his chest, you could feel his hot breath on your neck, disgusting, you wonder how it was possible that you’d considered him attractive at some point. 

You turned around quickly, forcing him to loosen his grip on your shirt “What the hell Rosier?” You hissed. He was not alone either. Severus was on his side and another boy, who you quickly identified as Mulciber. He was taller  with a tank-like complexion, that contrasted with Rosier’s softer looks as water did with oil. You stood your ground, even if you wanted to step back “Awww… did you have to bring your bodyguards along? Too scared to face lil’ old me by yourself?” You mocked, “Don’t worry, I can take Frankestine and Slimmy on any day of the week.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?” Mulciber said, taking a step forward. 

“Offf, sorry! Guess I should have used a reference a little more keen to your level of knowledge.” 

Evan scoffed, “Do you think it’s a good idea to make fun of him?” He said as he tilted his head, pulling back a little and giving the room a once over “especially without your boyfriends here to protect you.” 

“Please, as if I needed anyone to protect me from you lot. Barty’s fan #1, Lily’s simp and Mr. Big guy” you laughed “you’re joke.” Ok, in hindsight, maybe you were pushing it a bit too hard. But you were not going to let them intimidate you.

Evan grabbed you by the collar and pushed you towards the railing again, you grabbed onto the handle, knuckles white with the force you were using, but you eyed him with a bravery you didn’t know where the hell you’d gotten from. You looked around and smiled, people were crowding up around you “You sure you wanna do that, luv? We’ve got a bit of a crowd here, too many witnesses, right? All though, I’m sure you’d fit in perfectly fine in Azkaban.”  He seemed tempted to drop you, but eventually, he let go and pulled back. You smiled and straightened your uniform “Yeah, I thought so.” 

“This is not over,” he threatened. 

“Bring more henchmen next time,” you mocked with a smile. When he was gone, you turned around to the forest again, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, and looking at the possible fall you could’ve gotten. It would most certainly be mortal. 

Lily pushed through the crowd to reach you, looking at you filled with worry once she caught up “What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)? All that bravado was gonna be worth for nothing had he actually pushed you.” 

“He wasn’t going to push me.” 

“He’s insane, he could have,” she argued.

“Not in front of so many people.”  You insisted, “Not without stupid Barty Crouch around, he’s the only reason Evan’s got anything against me.”

“That was the only reason,” Lily corrected “You insulted them out in the open for the entire class to hear.” 

“They came pushing me into the railing first. I was not going to cry for help.” 

“Ughhh….” She said exasperated, and then pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, “Just promise me you won’t go facing those assholes by yourself. Please don’t be as stupid as the boys.” 

You sighed and returned the hug “I will not  go chasing after them Lily, I promise.” You said, and you really did not intend to do it. 

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 50 – Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel

I read this book over the course of one day and two flights,, which on the one hand was probably not the best way to do it but on the other is kind of appropriate given the prominence of travel and dislocation to the narrative. Anyway, reading so quickly and then spending a week on vacation without time to work on this review does mean that my thoughts are all a bit vague and muddled, so apologies about that in advance. Anyways!

The only other work of St. John Mandel’s I’ve read was Station Eleven, which was easily one of the best things I read last year and good enough to put this on my TBR as well. I went in basically entirely blind, beyond the basics of ‘time travel’ and ‘COVID novel’. It might just be that my expectations were too high, but frankly I found it a fairly disappointing read, and pretty strictly inferior to Station Eleven in just about everything – the later even manages to be a better pandemic novel despite the handicap of being published in 2014. My main reaction to finishing it was something along the lines of ‘that’s it?’ and then going back to staring down at the clouds.

The book jumps POVs a fair bit, but the deuteragonists are an author on a global book tour in the days before a pandemic sweeps the world (and moon) in the 22nd century, and a bit of an aimless failson in the 23rd who gets a job investigating a temporal anomaly through the power of nepotism and goes back to interview her and a few others across the centuries who were touched by it. The detective is the one who drives essentially all of the plot and makes all the choices – none of the POVs are really filled with a surfeit of passion or drive, the author is the only one who seems to particularly like her life – but by wordcount and focus I very much got the sense that the author was far more of the book’s emotional heart than the 20th or 21st century POVs. (Which is something of a shame, because I found both of them rather more compelling in the screentime they did have, being honest).

The plot is, well, thin. Our 23rd century POV (a hotel detective) is repeatedly told that he will be tempted to do something (save the author from her scheduled pandemic death) and warned of consequences if he does, repeatedly promises that he will not, and then as soon as the chance presents itself does the thing with basically no warning or introspection, after which he faces almost exactly the consequences he was warned of. He is then saved through the power of a supergenius sister ex machina, and the whole anomaly is tied up in a neat time loop in a vague reality-as-narrative sort of way. As a work that’s more literary than genre the characters all felt kind of flat and static, no one ever really surprised or fascinated me.

And as far as it as a science fiction novel goes, I don’t know – there’s a decent chance it’s a much more impressive read if you haven’t zoned out scrolling past dozens of pages of earnest debate on the simulation hypothesis and read/watched however many different time loop stories before? It could have all fit pretty nicely in a mid-season Doctor Who episode, honestly, and I don’t really mean that as a compliment.

Emotionally, the experience of living through COVID is pretty clearly at the heart of the thing. Both the sense of pure terror at realizing your survival is a matter of luck and statistics, the isolation and alienation from the world that’s part and parcel of lockdown, the sort of awesome horror at looking back across history and realizing how totally unremarkable seeing such mass death around you is over the centuries, how in a generation it will be nothing but a bit of trivia. This stuff was definitely more compelling than the rest of the book, though it did fall prey to a rapidly growing pet peeve of mine and just kind of forgot all the ‘essential workers’ who weren’t doctors or nurses and just kind of write them out of the universal pandemic lockdown experience.

Anyway yeah, not in any sense a badly written book, but I found it a disappointment.

[the-letterbox-archives]

file (1)12345X-31-000: wip qna

thank you @nczaversnick for the tag!! this one is a wip qna, and it was so fun to answer!

q1. “what’s the first part of your wip that you created?”

tales from a dying heart

book 1, sweetheart and crow’s story. it was originally a short story submission written in present tense, but the original themes and plot line remained true, just incredibly expanded upon.

the rockdove promise

it was originally a group idea, between myself and 2 other writers. all the story was meant to be split into 3 povs across the 3 of us, however none of those characters survived into the final cut. in the beginning it was called ‘the rockdove treaty.’ when we couldn’t continue the story as it was originally conceived, i picked it up and reworked the characters, swapping out ‘treaty’ for ‘promise,’ since that felt more personal and in-keeping with the revised themes of the story.

insincere.

this began as it is today, it’s a vent story. it’s representative of my own struggles with motivation and happiness. there’s not too much thought behind it, but the symbolic connections of comfort in sleep and overstimulation to the ‘real’ world hit close to home for me, and i find writing this story comforting.

on kingston alley

this one originated from a tag prompt from a tag game with @noxxytocin that i felt i could best express in a format different from my traditional style. i kept kingston alley as a script-formatted series for continuity and because i wanted a change of pace. it’s a lot more fun this way in my opinion!

school rules

this began as a novel that i put on hiatus because i got busy with other projects. conceptually it was the same, but i’ve since changed all the characters and formatting to make it more unique and interesting to write. i’m also just a sucker for audio dramas and good dark academia series, which is why i was drawn to reviving this story.

dulcinea is dead

this story was inspired by a writing prompt shared to me by @thecrazyalchemist that evolved into my first sci-fi story about fate, guilt, and mother-daughter relationships.

q2. “if your story was a tv show, what would the theme song/intro be?”

tales from a dying heart

“disembodied mind” by sparkbird, though it would make sense if the song changed for each book.

the rockdove promise

probably the hardest one for me to choose, but probably “bigmouth strikes again” by the smiths.

insincere.

something penelope scott for sure, probably “7 o’clock” or “feel better”.

on kingston alley

either “unsweetened lemonade” by amélie farren or “route 66” by blue jay walker.

school rules

“a word to the wise” from adamandi!

dulcinea is dead

a more rock/metal cover of “don’t cry for your daughters eve” by lydia the bard.

q3. “what are your favourite characters you’ve made? why?”

tales from a dying heart

between chalice and seeker, they’re both so silly. on a more serious note to describe them, i enjoy writing them and exploring their relationships with the heart and their personalities.

the rockdove promise

from the introduced cast, it would have to be laszlo, i just love thinking about him and how he’ll affect the story going forward. out of all the cast, it’s a tie between laszlo and the dread prince, king of the gods. his personality is really fun to conceptualise, as well as his motivations and relationship with laszlo.

insincere.

all of the insincere. cast borrows greatly from facets of myself and/or social issues i want to explore, so i’m not sure i could pick a favourite. as of right now, it’d probably be ven, since i relate to them quite a bit.

on kingston alley

i couldn’t pick between faye and daphne, i’m just so pleased with how both their characters are developing, especially in the minisodes i’m writing to explore them outside of the pressure of the story! 

school rules

sunny, and that’s not just because she’s the only speaking character thus far. her personality is so fun to conceptualise; she’s probably the only mc that gets to crack jokes as frequently as she does and i just love to write her, i’m especially excited to see how she develops going forward.

dulcinea is dead

probably dulcinea. she’s easier for me to write than sasha, because i am not a mother with an awful relationship with humanity. additionally, dulcinea’s search for purpose resonates with me, her drive to accomplish an unattainable goal is both incredibly relatable and tragically doomed.

q4. “what other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?”

(i’m gonna skip this one because i don’t fully understand it in a way i feel right answering, and i don’t wanna expose myself for the fandoms i’m in lol).

q5. “how do characters travel/get around?”

tales from a dying heart

usually walking or horse riding. the heart is wherever it needs to be, so characters don’t have to travel too far to get to it.

the rockdove promise

horse, carriage, and sometimes walking, but not very often. seafaring options are also available, but due to fear around the ocean god, most people are averse to travel by water for fear of shipwrecks.

insincere.

walking, but the pseudo-psychedelic weirdcore aesthetic to it means that travel is sometimes redundant or brushed over.

on kingston alley

walking, by bike or by car. it’s a small town, so it’s very easy to get around, but bikes and cars are quite popular.

school rules

no student is allowed off-campus, since spencer’s is an old boarding school and the story doesn’t take place over holidays that allow students to go home. even so, the girls get around by walking.

dulcinea is dead

spaceship!!

q6. “what part of your wip are you working on right now?”

tales from a dying heart

all of it at once. currently i’m devoting most of my attention to working on book 1, but all of the books are being worked on in tandem.

the rockdove promise

chapter 3!

Insincere.

lesson 4, as of right now it has no title however.

on kingston alley

episode 4 and minisode 2, centred around faye this time!

school rules

episode 2 – the dux!

dulcinea is dead

chapter 2, from dulcinea’s pov! it might be a while off since i’ve never written sci-fi and thus am inexperienced in making alien races, and i wanna get that right.

q7. “what aspects/tropes do you think will draw your audience in?”

(but because i’m not great at naming tropes i’ve gone more for themes/genres)

tales from a dying heart

the themes of love, ranging from platonic, romantic, familial, and ideological, and tragedy (plus a bit of bloody imagery is always welcome).

the rockdove promise

royalty, family relationship, and political intrigue (to the best of my ability haha), as well as a healthy dose of cosmic/divine horror.

insincere.

new weird/speculative, weirdcore, indie satire.

on kingston alley

small-town horror, found footage medium, mystery, and unrequited love.

school rules

dark academia, radio show medium, and competition plot (repressed private school girls do some murders).

dulcinea is dead

sci-fi, chosen one/fate, found family, and family relationship.

q8. “what are your hopes for your wip?”

i’ll answer for everything at once here, because i have similar feelings about all my wips in this context. firstly, i want all of them completed and released in the archives, that’s the goal. i’ve published books before, but the length of these stories don’t feel long enough to publish (but that may be subject to change) unless revised. beyond that, i don’t have the means to expand these projects. i like them as they are, and can’t really expand or publish them beyond the context of the archives. i may start more writing accounts on other social medias, but i have no idea how to manage that haha. if i were to hypothetically adapt some of my wips to something bigger, on kingston alley would make a cool indie series (it’s already a script too, so it could work!), school rules could make a good audio drama podcast like the greats, and dulcinea is dead and insincere. could be animated indie series (if that were to happen, sissy gets rubberhose animation. i don’t make the rules).

tagging @introchasingstars, @honeybewrites, @paeliae-occasionally, @ominous-feychild, @the-golden-comet,

@noxxytocin, @moltenwrites, @tc-doherty, @the-ellia-west, @theverumproject,

@thecrazyalchemist, @laylathewordwitch, @dragonedged-if, @leitereads, @autism-purgatory,

@gioiaalbanoart, @drchenquill, @fenmere, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @melpomene-grey,

@yourpenpaldee, @corinneglass, @agirlandherquill, @willtheweaver, @davycoquette,

@frostedlemonwriter, @glassfrogforest, @princeofhags, @wyked-ao3, + open tag!!

[shzmluvrs]

The Disconnect

Prompt: My random headcanon that pretty much just focuses on that odd... difference in vibe between Billy as himself vs when he's in his superhero form.

Timeline: Both movies

TW/Content: None, just me talking just to talk fr

Reader: None

Requested By: My damn self😼🫶🏽

Back to Master List

So like, duh, Moon and I have like... constant headcannons for like, every single person ever in the Shazam movies. And I did plan to write/list 'em out and post at some point. But this one is my biggest one, so I think it deserves its own post🤷🏽‍♀️.

Anyone who's seen just either one of the movies is pretty aware of that... weird little (but noticeable) disconnect between Asher Angel's Billy Batson and Zachary Levi's Shazam. Asher is a damn good Billy, while Zachary... he's good at being Shazam and acting like a kid who doesn't know what he's doing (which is the overall plot, ofc), but I just can't/don't believe him to be Asher's Billy, if that makes sense (??).

So, while yes, this is a little jarring for viewers, if you're anything like me, you know it's kind of not the end of the world and can be bypassed/looked over. Fixed, even, if had been given the proper attention to do such. And what better way to do that than through some good ol' writer brain🤷🏽‍♀️?

My in-media headcanon for why Billy acts so differently in his super-powered adult form is because he simply just becomes heaps more confident. He knows he's invincible to most things, he's got all these different and god-like powers and abilities, etcetc... So natrually, with those things comes an overwhelming and amazing sense of security, right? Therefore, leading to a surging amount of both confidence/ego and recklessness that you might not see come from some vulnerable, hard-knock-life-stricken, defensive kid.

It also gives him more freedom to come out of his shell (almost forces him to, really), hence why it becomes so much easier for him to talk to/interact with others while he's in his adult form. He almost wants to, because of that classic teenage boy need to show off (for the ladiesss😼🫶🏽⚡️). He gains the chance to actually be a kid, frfr, because he had to grow up and learn to care for himself so soon. Because, hell, it's not like he knew if his powers were a privilege he was gonna get to keep🤷🏽‍♀️. Gotta make the most of it.

Not to mention, poor boy has probably felt all alone and helpless all his life. Constantly having to do things on his own, constantly worried about how he's gonna get by and/or where he's gonna end up next. These abilities are like a free "out", if ykwim. He can essentially do whatever he wants, go wherever he wants now that he can just fly off somewhere...

I'd be eager to run around and do the most over the top shit, too, if it had been me. As Freddy once said, "I'd kill to have what you have...".

Plus, I mean, he is a teenager. A teenage boy, at that. I'm pretty sure no matter how hard and tall you've set up your shell, at the end of the day, if you randomly got superpowers n shit, you'd act a little bit out of normal character, too. Especially if your "normal character" are/is a bunch of walls n shit you've built up to protect yourself from the things that, you now no longer have to, because again... SUPERPOWERS!!

So, to try and wrap this all up, I, personally, am one to believe there's nothing a fanfic or a headcanon can't fix, hence... this lmao. And that's pretty much my way to try and fix/make sense of that disconnect between acting styles so I can properly hyperfixate in peace lmfao. And hopefully, now that you've seen this, you can, too :).

Okay, the end, that's it, goodbye🫶🏽😼.

Headcannons on all characters to come relatively soon, y'all, I promise🫡💕.

~ Star✨️

Back to Master List

[risingsouls]

[Alright. As promised, I'm going to hop on my bullshit and address someone who obviously has it out for GoChi and will stan Vegebul to their dying breath. The funny part is I wasn't their only target in seems. 😬😬

But the rest will be under the cut. This is all in regards to this post.

Here are the replies:

So let's take this piece by piece, and, for those of you who have been around a minute, you've probably seen my reasoning behind this opinion numerous times. But here goes nothing.

First, I want to hit this with a disclaimer I've said a million times: none of the relationships in DB are well written or executed. NONE. Vegebul and GoChi are the WORST offenders, too, in that order. However, imo, GoChi is more viable because the parties are actually willing to WORK for a relationship while the other one is tossed together for plot reasons and forced by breaking both characters into people they're not. But I'll get into that more later. Shitty writing is the crux of all of this at the end of the day.

Claim 1: "Vegeta and Bulma actually improved their relationship over time and have some good moments."

Improved is a strong word. The crux of this is they weren't compatible from the get go. The Buu Saga is the only place where their relationship is REMOTELY depicted realistically for them as strained and a marriage of convenience. They get along, but it's not this lovey dovey, out of character traditional or over the top love fans and Super depict. It makes sense for them. The only real improvement as far as viewing them as a couple goes is that they're more civil than they were. Otherwise, it's all contrived, forced bs, and that's especially the case in Super.

Claim 2: "Goku's and ChiChi's relationship has never been good and it never will, it has no redeeming qualities and they have nothing but arguing and abuse."

Yeah, GoChi is shitty. It's poorly handled by the writers from the beginning. But to say there are no redeeming qualities right after gassing up Vegebul? HA. HAHAHA. Besides that being a matter of opinion, there are plenty of moments in the series that show "redeeming" qualities for Goku and ChiChi, and they are shown to actually have a working relationship. They're shown to love each other. I won't get into the complexity of at least Goku's character here, but he loves his wife, and she loves him. They love their family and show it. And it's BELIEVABLE. Not some over the top bs shoved in our faces at every turn to make people like this clown not question the validity of their relationship.

Bringing up abuse is even more laughable without talking about how abusive Vegebul is. But go off I guess. I'll probably get to this more later.

Claim 3 (and maybe the funniest lol): "Who cares is Goku and ChiChi kiss/bang or not? That doesn't automatically make a couple better, their relationship is still trash."

This is a really funny defense when Vegebul literally started with them fucking and Vegeta knocking Bulma up. You're lying to yourself if you think they were put together out of romantic interest. They were made a couple for plot convenience and likely sexist beliefs about single mothers. 🤷‍♀️ So what's worse: two people who met as kids and maybe shouldn't have jumped into marriage like they did but can be seen to realistically come to form a relationship together because they have personalities that would allow for it or two people that fucked, made a baby, and were forced together because of it, when neither party should be able to stand the other in the first place by any stretch because they both have very combative personalities among other incompatibilities? This is not the ace of an argument you think it is in the context of these ships.

Claim 4 (paraphrased): GoChi has no chemistry, they have nothing in common, ChiChi just abuses Goku, etc.

Again, are you sure this is the argument you want to make to gas up Vegebul? Where do Vegeta and Bulma show they have chemistry? We never see them do anything but name call and argue (which is what you claim Goku and ChiChi do right????), and pointing to Super will get you nowhere with me. And again we bring up abuse. As I said, Vegeta and Bulma were constantly arguing and name-calling in the beginning. In the Buu Saga they were amicable at best, but they still weren't this perfect couple that everyone tries to make them out to be. I mean...Vegeta literally sold his soul without knowing he would maintain control, let alone free himself from it, and nearly killed Bulma while throwing a hissy fit about wanting to fight Goku. He was ready to give up EVERYTHING just for power and that fight, including his family. But yeah. Perfect, beautiful, loving couple.

And again, let's get into the abuse conversation. I'm not saying there isn't any in GoChi, but to say that Vegebul has no abuse is laughable. I'll get to that in the last claim.

Claim 5 (paraphrased): Vegeta and Bulma improve over time, Bulma is the reason Vegeta turned good, and their arguments are on equal footing.

Again, improve is objective because I personally don't see it. At least not in any believable capacity past the Buu Saga which is still, imo, not perfect or completely well-executed.

I can't stand the narrative of Vegeta turned good because of Bulma because it suggests he had no agency over his own change. You must be one of those people who define Vegeta's redeeming moment as his (failed) sacrifice against Majin Buu instead of the end of the Saga when he comes to terms with how he has lived his life and finally finds peace in admitting Goku is stronger than him. The idea that Vegeta settling down saved his life or made him a better person is, at best, only partially true. Saying this shit removes his agency, and reduces his character to "lol bad boy fell in love and changed!" when it's far more complex than that.

And their arguments are on equal footing in the regard that both Vegeta and Bulma have combative personalities and will, therefore, argue with each other, whereas Goku is more laid back and go with the flow so is less likely to argue with ChiChi? Again, is this supposed to be a good argument for claiming Vegebul is the better relationship? And what of the name-calling Vegeta and Bulma do? About how Vegeta was willing to let Bulma and Trunks DIE? How miserably he treated future Trunks who present Bulma still viewed and treated as her own son once she knew? How he obviously didn't really pay present Trunks much mind for the first 8 years of his life, whixh would BOTHER a loving mother that obviously wanted to keep Vegeta around FOR their son's benefit? And that's just the abuse on VEGETA'S side. Bulma is absolutely abusive, too, outside of name-calling and arguing. She manipulates Vegeta and everyone else to get her way. She yells and screams at Vegeta when he wants to train rather than do whatever the hell it is she wants at that moment, knowing full well what he is and isn't into. But she will do whatever SHE pleases regardless of his wishes, im sure.. There is only take and no give with Bulma when it comes to Vegeta. Not to mention how she constantly flirts with other men in front of him. All od this, too, is considered abuse. But since it doesn't fit your narrative, you're not going to talk about that right?

In conclusion: both of these relationships are dog shit. Both could and should be handled better if they should have even maintained these relationships at all. But to say that Vegebul is more believable than GoChi is the joke of the century in this fandom. Next, you'll tell me Vegeta is the better dad, too.

And look. Ship what you want. But let's all be honest about the ships we like/prefer.]

[padfootagain]

Crooked Kingdom spoilers (and heavy criticism) ahead, please don't read if you don't want to.

Okay, I've just finished reading Crooked Kingdom, and let me tell you something: the end was absolute shit.

It has ruined the entire book to me honestly. Because you either make all your heroes lose, or you make them all win, but you do NOT decide to kill off one of the main characters FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING when all the others get a happy ending.

Because it simply does not work. The whole point of the first book is that they become some sort of a found-family group. The whole point is that they will do this all TOGETHER. No matter their fate they will do it as a united front. And yes, of course, there are tensions and evolutions and progress and step-backs but the point is that either all win or all lose.

It's even clearly mentionned when Wylan says that they were all supposed to make it. They were supposed to all make it. Or to all fail. And it was probably a way to say 'hey, reader, you thought they would all make it but no! They can't break from the doom of their lives' but THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT ON THE TWO DAMN BOOKS!!!! To me it just ruins the whole thing. Because why then give an ending that's almost too good to everyone else except for Matthias and Nina ?

And when I say a too-good ending, don't get me wrong, I'm glad that everything ends well for the rest of the group. But Inej did not need to find her family to get a happy ending. Breaking free and getting to hunt slavers and having a chance with Kaz was enough. Wylan didn't need to get his father's money and property, getting away from his father's grasp and staying with Jesper and getting his mother back was enough. Some got it almost too good. I would have been contempt with less for them, they could have had progress to make still. A promise of a search for her family, a place to find of his own will. I like these happy endings for them, don't get me wrong. But to me it isn't balanced. Why offer too much to some and nothing to others?

Especially given that Matthias's death is MEANINGLESS in the story. What is the point? It doesn't teach anyone a lesson. It doesn't make the plot progress drastically or move in an unexpected twist. It's just there, coming out of the blue, it ovcupies barely a chapter, it doesn't draw enough grief at all. It misses the impact. If the message was simply to say 'not everyone can get a happy ending' or 'not everyone can change' it was proven time and time again in these books. And yet Inej's final thoughts with Kaz are that indeed everyone can change. So again... what is the point? There isn't any. Nina doesn't use her powers to resurrect him, which would have made sense. Again... what's the point?

And don't give me the 'but in life people just die with no reason...' because that's the whole point. This is not life. None of it is realistic. And in such a book where the whole plot relies on carefully crafted plans... why put something that doesn't make any sense and doesn't better the story by any mean?

To me it's truly about breaking a contract with your reader. You have enough plot twists in the story to wonder a dozen times whether or not they will make it. But you KNOW that they will, because it is the contract. Everything leans towards the final happy ending. They are not doomed enough to fail. To kill off your main character like this, with a death that means nothing, you must show the reader it will happen. They must try to get away and yet you KNOW they will fail. The element of surprise, to me, is better used when it leads to what you expect: you wanted to hope that they would live, they got so many chances, and they fail, every time, and they die. Or on the contrary, you know they will live, they have plenty of surprises thrown at them to make you doubt it, and yet they survive. It's not about not liking to be surprised, it's about the lack of consistency in the writing and the structure of the plot. Pulling something out of nowhere like Matthias's death, shot by a stranger, does not make sense. He was shot by a younger version of himself, you will say, it is a sign of doom indeed, but it wasn't foreshadowed enough to be relevant. Matthias is still struggling but he's winning. There is no doubt thay he's getting over his hatred for Grisha, that he will not fall back into it. So why bring his past back like that? He is not tortured enough for that. He is still struggling, but he is not going to go back to his old ways, so why pretend that his past is killing him, when he has already stepped out of it? It doesn't make sense, it's not logical enough. Not to me, anyway. I guess the message was that Matthias had a fool's hope, that the Fjerdans won't change, not that easily, at least. But the point of the book is NOT that the Fjerdans can change or not. IT IS NOT THE POINT OF THE PLOT. This could have been a story for another book, focused on Nina and Matthias, and them failing to change the ancient ways. That I could have accepted, but here? The point of the books was never about Fjerda, it was about the Crows. The point was not really to protect Grisha at all, it was to protect THEIR group. Grisha or not. It would have been better suited to the ending of Six of Crows, because he struggled more then and Fjerda was central to the plot. So again... Matthias's death misses the point. It comes out of nowhere in Crooked Kingdom, answering a question that was never asked in the first place and failing to bring any element of doom, because to have doom, you need attempts that fail and succeed. One step forward and two steps back. It isn't how it worked here.

I'm just so frustrated and angry, because once again, I am disapppinted by an ending on Grishaverse. It was the same in SaB, and here again... it's so frustrating.

Anyway, end of my rant. I'm just so angry, I had to talk about it.

[lurkingshan]

Never Let Me Go

Well, that was certainly a show! This one lost me along the way, but there were definitely things I liked. The first half of the show, before the beach getaway, was compelling if not perfect. I was interested in the characters and I thought the set up of the relationship dynamics was promising. The early love square between the four main characters had a lot of potential. Nueng and Palm had decent chemistry and I thought they performed their kisses pretty well. I was intrigued by Chopper’s character and his family dilemma. And there was some very nice cinematography, including the final beach sequence in the last episode. That was gorgeous.

That said, I feel like built in goodwill for these actors must have carried the fandom because most of that early promise was squandered and so much about this show just didn’t work. I also just realized that this was written and directed by JoJo, who also created The Warp Effect, one of my recent favs, and I am sitting with that because what a contrast not just in tone and themes but in assuredness of storytelling.

I probably have half a dozen different rants in me about where this show went wrong, but I’m sure no one wants to read that and I’m really just talking to myself here so I’ll keep it brief (hateration below the cut, enter at your own risk!):

Nueng is among the worst romance leads I have encountered in bl and nothing that happened over the course of the show moved my poor opinion of him. He was selfish and cowardly and thoughtless for most of the story and none of the facile attempts in the back half to demonstrate that he had matured worked for me at all. Putting him in a suit doesn’t make him a man and making the actor cry a lot doesn’t make me forget how awful he was to Palm.

Which brings me to the next major issue: Palm’s loyalty to Nueng despite all this had no meaningful basis. They barely knew each other, Nueng was mostly awful to him until they got to the beach and then again after they left it, and Palm had a whole life before he was forced to be his servant that we never really learned anything about. We never got any sense of who Palm was or why he loved Nueng. Maybe Nueng was the first boy who ever liked him? Maybe Palm was lonely and isolated and yearning and so he latched on to Nueng like a baby duck? I wouldn’t know because the show didn’t bother to tell me. At no point did Palm react like an actual human being to any of the awful things Nueng did. This kid treated him like shit, let him take his beatings and punishments, got his mom killed, drugged and abandoned him - and Palm just serenely smiled through it all (and got his name permanently tattooed on his body!!). One thing I’ll say for KinnPorsche is it actually showed the journey from Porsche resisting to accepting his role and gave me a reason to believe he would develop feelings for Kinn despite their rocky start. That didn’t happen here, they were just suddenly in love because the script demanded it.

The beach trip was a huge narrative misstep that sucked all the tension out of the show and basically torpedoed the plot. Yes, a lot of the scenes were cute, but they were not supposed to be on a lover’s getaway! Nueng was literally on the run from an assassin that already got both his parents, he’s supposed to to think his beloved mother is on her deathbed, he’s supposed to be terrified. Instead we got him relaxing at a beach resort, frolicking with Palm, declaring himself the happiest he’s ever been, and then blithely giving away their location without a thought so he could play hero only to lead the assassin right to them and get Palm’s mom killed anyway. Those episodes should have been more of a tense action thriller segment (and there still could have been romance built into that, and probably a more compelling one). The choice to make them a typical lighthearted bl beach trip was baffling.

If the romance worked better I might have overlooked that the plot is absurd on its face and falls apart at the gentlest prodding. I laughed out loud when Nueng just suddenly went back home and hired real bodyguards, which showed how thin the plot pretext had been all along. And now he’s a high school student/conglomerate CEO? Sure.

Why was this even set in high school to begin with? It would have made A LOT more sense with adult characters and then maybe they could have kept the tone more consistent. As it was it kept swinging wildly between being an adult mafia-adjacent drama and a teen romance and it never found a way to reconcile those two lanes.

Perth was easily the best actor in this cast but so underutilized while the mains were fundamentally miscast IMO. This show did not play to their strengths. There were a couple scenes where I actually cringed in sympathy at their attempts to perform the dramatic script. Please give them a slapstick comedy instead GMMTV (they would do well in a show like The Warp Effect!).

I’m just being petty now but what was UP with the music supervision on this show. Why did they play a random country song over their bed scene? And then Monsoons which has already been used in another bl drama and has such an opposite sonic vibe?? The music choices were often distracting instead of enhancing the story.

[daja-the-hypnokitten]

Jukebox reviews part 11! For context, see my post “A Project” under  this same tag. If you want to see a full list of his EMCSA stories,  they can be found here, sorted alphabetically.And if you want to see some of his drabbles, check out his blog at @jukeboxemcsa  

Feels Like the First Time

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8/15/2009                                     mc mf fd ma

The title rather gives the "twist" of this one away, though it's very cute. I feel like I *know* these folk - they just seem that real in this text. John and Deanna are a sweet pair, and I enjoy the very in-his-head nature of "but I don't know if she's ok with this" vs "but she asked me to tell her what she needs to know" is relateable AF. And the use of 6 as a "really wake up" count is delightful. Given it was clearly negotiated out as an experiment, too, it's delightful and playful and wonderful. Definitely worth reading if you enjoy cute, consensual hypnokink. 10/10 spirals

  Love Stinks

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8/22/2009                                     mc mf md

Huh. If pheromones worked on humans, then they'd probably work a lot like this. But given we don't appear to have the right receptors for our endocrine systems to be responsive to pheromones like this, they don't. ... And someone needs to make me turn off my science brain for a bit so I can just enjoy mind control stories, apparently.Seriously, though, it's a good story of slowly shifting perception and control, and I find the underlying premise really interesting! Stan is an interesting take on a mind controller, one who does it because he feels to shy and awkward to get a gal's attention any other way, but is really fundamentally decent besides the whole inappropriately influence a gal's ability to meaningfully consent thing. That paired with the clever control makes this story one I enjoy

  True Colors

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8/29/2009                                     mc md fd mf ff

Oh, this one is INTERESTING. I think I've completely missed it in the past, because none of it was familiar, but *wow,* the plot, the depth of everything... I think I need a flowchart (mostly joking!) It has some good heat and conditioning and brainwashing woven into all that plot, too, and the ending is good - and definitely not where I expected it to go! And I'm glad that Cindy and Michelle stay together through it all, that's nice and sweet. 10/10 spirals.

  Look What the Cat Dragged In

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9/5/2009                                       mc mf ff fd fu

Ah, if you have a magical creature offering you something that sounds too good to be true? Maybe look for their loophole to get the better end of the deal. This is very fairy tale-esque in a way that makes the EMC part feel incongruous, almost. It's clearly foreshadowed, and not a surprise, just ... there's a level of tonal shift to the story that makes me not sure where to start reviewing. There's nothing I can pinpoint that's *bad* - in fact, it's all good - just ... it feels a bit off to me. But the characters are solid and their motivations make sense, all the same. 7/10 spirals

  Promises in the Dark

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9/12/2009                                     mc ff

... I'm probably the *only person* in the world who cares, but I don't think you can even FIND Iron City beer in Austin. It's a regional beer, and even now, a decade later, I'm 99% sure that the distribution network doesn't take it down that way. Shiner Bock, that I could see, and they're similar enough beers, but not Iron City. (Unless Austin refers to Austin, MN, but then you'd probably be looking at Leinie's or one of the bajillion microbreweries that are around those parts.) But since I *am* probably the only person who cares, we'll move past that and on to a lovely story of a couple of gals who have a spark of chemistry from the first. I love the flirtation between Desireé and Priscilla, and the way it builds to more, how Priscilla gets lost in the rush? It's *delightful*, I have no other word for it. I like a character who keeps her promises, even if she might bend them a little, and while Desireé isn't precisely my type, I can see what Priscilla sees in her - and vice versa! I hope they have very happy lives together with Desireé's roomate and any other gals who may enter their lives.

  Follow You Down

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9/19/2009                                     mc ff

This story has one of the best descriptions of what I find so ... well, intimate about hypnokink. "I don’t know why I’m only realizing it now, but there’s something so powerful, so sensual about the idea of hypnosis. It’s an act of trust, an emotional bond deeper and more intimate than anything that could pass between two lovers. Not just a sharing of bodies, but a sharing of minds." Because hypnosis *is* like that, even when being used with less than honest motivations. And Emma is so clever here, in how she uses that sense of intimacy to build a sense of connection and trust she can wrap around Gail and Carrie. And of course, technically, it's sound hypnotic technique, which comes as no surprise from a Jukebox story. The choice to start in the middle of things and intersperse the lead-up to where we see Gail and Carrie works so well in giving the reader the same sort of fuzzy confusion that a deep trance can provide, as well. I just wish that Emma was a bit more ethical (but that's purely my own personal preference). 9/10 spirals.

  The the Morning Comes

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9/26/2009                                     mc ff

Ah, Simone is such a sweet, suggestible girl who responds so perfectly to a reasonable tone, even when that reasonable tone is saying the most unreasonable things. I love the way we can see her just agreeing with somewhat outlandish statements because of who's saying them, and how much she *wants* to believe those statements. And there's clear signs of conditioning in play, too, in a way that sounds *delightful.* The shenanigans that Simone appears to have gotten up to are wonderful, given the overlying control in play, too. I kinda hope I see another installment with these three in the future, though, as the story would be better for more of the previous night being included. It lacks a little of the process I enjoy so much, for all it remains a wonderful story. 8/10 spirals

  Silly Love Songs

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10/3/2009                                     mc mf ff ma md fd bd ds ft hu la

This is more silly than hot, but if you enjoy filks you might get a chuckle out of a few of these. I do have to wonder if Jukebox has ever been ... shall we say "encouraged"... to sing any of them though ;)

  Criminal

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10/17/2009                                   mc ff

Oh, this is *fascinating* .... I'm not sure about EROTIC, mind, but fascinating. Even though the dusting the air to see a laser security system doesn't actually work, based on testing the Mythbusters did, it's still impressive! I love Yelena's dedication to her craft, and understand well the isolation that can come from folk not treating you as a peer, or holding you on a pedastle you don't think you deserve - though maybe Yelena does deserve it, given the rest of the story. Regardless, the ease with which she is captivated and controlled is interesting. I'd expect any skilled thief to have more focus of purposes than that. But maybe that, too, is the effect of the control in play. It's a solid story, with good control, if more than a little magical and maybe a bit rushed? 8/10 spirals.

  Headwires

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10/25/2009                                   mc mf md cb

Another one of Jukebox's superhero stories, again with Wild Rose and Sharpe. I got secondhand sensory overstim from the very beginning of this story, which says rather a lot about just how good Jukebox is at painting a scene. I do wonder just how much Sharpe is going to add to her security now, seeing as how someone found a hole that needs patching and a better firewall. I love the interplay between Rose and Sharpe so much, even when Sharpe's brain gets ahead of her a bit and she doesn't let Rose finish her sentence. They're just a cute couple, and this is a lovely bit of their lives. (Also the "Garbage in,  garbage out" line made me laugh, too). 10/10 spirals.

[purpleopossum]

Get to know your fic writer!

Multi-chapter

Write as I go

I have a rough outline of the plot, but then I basically just write until it's done

I find inspiration from things I read and watch

I love constructive criticism

I barely know what a beta is

I choose POV by which character struck me to focus on

I don't know. Maybe beginning? I seem to have the easiest time writing it.

I do

"No one was missing any children in the end, and they also said that they had never even seen that child before. She returned to the surface world with her promise kept, but no closer to solving the mystery child. It seemed that she might be an orphan, and as she blinked in the sunlight Isabelle doubly resolved that she must find a way to speak with the girl."

Here's one I read recently

A lack of engagement is devestating

Show Don't Tell. I'm really trying to get better at describing reactions rather than just telling the audience what the character is feeling

Feel what the characters feel

I generally skip smut (do a PG-13 fade-out)

Book Tarzan fic set in WWII

Fail? Mostly? I've been trying just writing one sentence, or one word, but that has had limited success.

When I publish. I try to find a phrase that fits the story. It generally just comes to me.

Probably hurt-comfort. Maybe AU-Canon Divergence

I write about family a lot - found or biological. A lot of people supporting the main character through impossible circumstances.

I have.

None that I can think of.

Just go for it. Don't ever think that other people have said all there is to be said on a subject. Also consider what it is that you are TRYING to say. Fic writing always comes back to having something to say about canon. What are your themes?

Don't use Said

Recently? All the one-shots I wrote to accompany my Ghosts fic. I am rather proud of them, though they are not necessary to understand the main fic.

They all are in their own way. Each thing I have written has taught me a lot

Writing. Writer's block.

A few sentences? Maybe?

Not as long as it should be. A lot of times I'm so eager for feedback that I publish as soon as I finish writing the chapter. I am trying to do better about this

I don't think I share anything BUT rough drafts really

Plot.

Sinvulkt, Aliendolin

If I ever have anything worthy of it :)

Hopefully finishing one of these WIPs

Motivation. A villain needs to be consistent and coherent, but not so relatable that the audience wants him to win

Write everything around the kiss. Romantic scenes are more about character and mood than action.

When I have reached a stopping point and can't wait any longer to share what I wrote.

I'd give it a shot.

Share a snippet from a WIP: “You all smell dreadful, by the way.”

“Well , let’s see you die of plague and come out smelling of roses!”

“I was only saying…”

But it was too late. He had angered them. They would come back around in time, they always had, but just now the air was rife with complaints

Isabelle and Thomas meeting by the lake (What Twisted Webs We Weave)

Reread

Thorne House by TheBunWeKnowAsHazel. And Definitely. Go read it now and leave her some love.

"If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself"

Lie/lay

Both? Both

Character-driven

0-lots

Don't have one

Cry, generally. Question why I write. Reply calmly, addressing their concerns (if there are any)

The Jedi That Came in From the Cold - 89,410

201,094

Always. Comments and the community I have with my readers is the reason I write. What's the point otherwise?

Primarily a writer

Comments. Also when I finally reach the scene the whole story has been building toward.

Isabelle. I have poured so much into her, and it has been wonderful to see how much everyone has embraced her :)

I think I'm pretty decent at setting atmosphere.

Edit as I write. 

Brainstorming 

My mom. I'm actually reading my Ghosts fic to her as I write it.

Amazing <3

The wonderful people I meet through my writing

Love them

Positions/sequences that make absolutely no physical sense

Character-driven scenes

The next major plot point after Isabelle gets back from Briarfield. All of you are going to hate me :))))

Badly

Independent ideas? I think?

Nothing, my fics come to me in the night like a muse's curse

My first SPN fic. It's still up on FF.net. Yeah, it's not good.

Depends on how much I trust the person

Dated outlines and extensive spreadsheets

Front of book to back

Characterization and research? Those are the things people tend to note in comments/reviews

It's taking an awfully long time to write The Ghosts trying to haunt Francis while Isabelle's gone

Not yet

The chess scene in What Twisted Webs We Weave

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[nitunio]

uggggghhhhhhhhhh i need more gentle ryou (looks at wip) and im Not creating it (aaaa)

i know that none of the ryomomo past interactions were shown and his backstory was not explored at all, and it really works as a story choice to keep him detached from the rest of the cast, alienated from the emotions they share (which is also detailed in how he has zero empathy) BUT i would die for even one scene of their interactions in the past

because it's interesting to think that their relationship kept escalating until pt 3 came and Oh, Momo is still in Re:vale? which is a plot drive for Ryou to start his plan of destroying idols.

who else for would he wait 5 years? WHICH IS OH LORD . THAT IS SUCH A CONTRAST TO THE YUKI/MOMO PROMISE. if for Ryou it was five years of inaction, stagnation, as they kind of just were friends (to not assume sex/romance, which i always do but its half-relevant here specifically), with Yuki it was five years of uplifting each other and reaching new heights, hence their popularity in spite of their small agency, and IT'S ALSO DETAILED in Re:vale (as mentioned by Yaopapa) having more of a "grounded" image, of idols that are closer to people, more earnest and sincere, which draws many different people in. the whole concept of Re:vale goes against Ryou's lack of emotion, lack of connection with others, be it friendship or simple relatability.

and to think that Momo was kind of between FUCK LET ME SHOW YOU IN COLOURS BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT IN COLOURS INTO THIS TOO

SO HOW DO I EXPLAIN IT WITHOUT SOUNDING LESS NORMAL THAN I AM.

From the cards in the game the takeaway is Red = Shout, Green is Beat, and Blue is Melody. (i have zero skills to articulate that into emotions expressed by people, but go off the feels please this will make much sense probably later)

Yuki and Momo are polar opposites, they lack that which the other can help them with (Yuki has no red colour in him, which is mostly what Momo has, Momo has no green colour in him, which is mostly what Yuki has). When they meet halfway, they create a harmony, that which is gray and calm, and when they sing, they blend into an explosion of both of them, together like patterns of vivid colours.

And the person closest to Yuki is Banri, with his colour that has equal parts green and blue, and less red, WHICH IS REFLECTED IN HIS PERSONALITY, and that's why Momo is much better fit for Yuki, and that's why Banri looks after Momo too.

AND THEN WE HAVE RYOU AND I'LL USE TWO COLOURS BECAUSE THERE IS NO COLOUR THAT IS HIS (since he has no idol image)

it's not getting more clear is it

We have purple, that which is dull and bordering on grays. perfectly balanced (lists his own talents and skills) and nothing special (hated and overlooked by family) at the same time - that is Ryou, and we have Momo, full of red, full of Saturation and Contrast, someone that Ryou spent five years with, albeit their time together got shorter and shorter ---------- When we're talking about these five years, I like to imagine Momo having No Colour, and as time goes on, it starts showing up on him, and Ryou sees that the distance between them is far more than it was.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU OVERLAY RYOU AND MOMO'S HAIR COLOURS, YOU GET THIS. Momo is closer to Yuki and Banri colour-wise, and Ryou is there, near, too. And seeing the dynamic between Yuki and Momo, the obviously better matchup they have, starts escalating what Ryou and Momo have -- into resentment, hatred, expectations not being met, and it hurts both parties.

And when we move past part 4, we have Ryou's second colour, which is his eyes, and most importantly, probably his true colour (like Momo's colour being his eye colour also). Not only is it "past" Momo (thinking about moving clockwise, as time goes on), but it's also perfectly inbetween Re:vale. Rather than being in the idols' way, he is now standing as an observer (it's his Eye color after all of course it's about observing)

Not only that, but you can also see with this colour choice that he has pulled himself upwards, more saturated and bright, closer to Momo, but not near. It's also worth noting that the colour has lots more red and green in it than before (Re:vale influence + ZOOL, Haruka esp since he's green, and most ZOOLs having somewhat of a red-ish orange-ish brown-ish colours you get me?????)

And with that, I say,

I truly need more gentle RyoMomo

[asian-fiction]

Romance on the Farm 田耕纪

Runtime: 45 Minutes Episodes: 24 Dubbed?: All own voices, but the sound equipment is really good for some reason. Because I've caught a few redubbed lines here and there mostly from Joseph Zeng. The sound is really high quality and well controlled for live recording.

This drama (so far as of episode 10) doesn't lack of pacing. It's doing really well.

This drama has floated to the top of my list... but it's my own personal taste, so I'll tell you why I like it.

Feminism tests: It does pass the Bechdel test fairly easily. The woman has a goal outside of a man--the Mako Mori test? Yes. Is the female lead a Sexy lamp--none of the female characters are (though you might hate them for it at turns as their agency might be too wide for your taste *cough Hua'er *cough*).

Premise: Man'er goes into a farming game to pay off her student loans. In real life, she doesn't have that great of a family.

In the game she meets Shen Nuo, who is not her distant cousin or relative, but has a rather obvious secret identity, as long as you pay attention and read between the lines of the action. He kind of gets tacked onto the family--which Man'er's parents, maternal family, and Man'er know to be true, but her paternal family doesn't.

Over the course of the drama, you get to work out Shen Nuo's true identity and what he's doing there. In terms of being tsundere, I don't think he is, he's just a mysterious figure. He's too warm to be tsundere.

But Shen Nuo and Man'er work together to solve various problems around the farm, and give Man'er a chance to earn 1,000 coins. The drama tells you why she needs 1,000 coins fairly early, so I won't spoil it for you.

Production The costuming is actually pretty good, but obviously not expensive--it doesn't need to be. I like the directing choices, like long bits without dialogue which leads to visual jokes in the show. The music is probably better than usual with some jokes inserted along the way if you read the lyrics.

I rather like the cinematography, even if not "artsy" special, it still shows some thought in terms of lighting.

Even though there are two idols in the drama, I wouldn't 100% call it an idol drama--I mean it's not pure fluff with no logic in it. There's several points of logic and you have to pay attention. There is definitely a little meat in the drama (you'll get this joke once you watch it.).

The acting is fantastic--you hate everyone you're supposed to hate almost instantly. You love everyone you love almost instantly. And Tian Xi Wei is acting her socks off. I mean you thought you knew her range and had it down pat? Nope. She shows she has so much more to give you. Joseph Zeng is doing pretty well too, but the role needs to be given more umph, which they keep promising will come. The chemistry on screen is pretty good too.

Writing-wise... I think for some people they will find the paternal family too unbearable and quit, especially if they have family drama trauma. But it's not lacking in the writing department for what it hopes to be. Even the annoying characters, you can't quite skip over--they aren't useless. The twists and turns are entertaining. It gives a sense of farm life with the ups and downs very well.

Pay attention score: I think is 3/10--you can't just listen to it and get everything. You'll miss plot points. So it's a grade above the normal C-drama. I had to back up the drama a few times to catch some details. And the thing is if you miss those details, the drama kinda loses you along the way, though they still drop the rule of three so you really get the fact, but it won't silver platter it for you and spell it out and then hit you with the cloche to make sure you get it. If you do pay attention, the drama will pause to reward you along the way. You really should pay attention to episode 1-4 and maybe 5 and 6. 'cause there is pay off later for that. Skipping around will severely hurt you.

So I'd rate this a chicken stirfry with the grandmother super upset one of her chickens was used up, and the rest of the family arguing over who gets to eat the meat because the rest of the stirfry is vegetables. (You'll get this joke when you watch the drama) It's surprising at every bite once you get into it, even if it's a bit burnt because you taste a ton of bitterness, it's still entertaining. P.S. Hua'er arrrggghhh only in fiction I wish for people to be burned alive.

[hard-core-super-star]

damn, I was hoping you'd admit that. so this was also you just throwing random words together in hopes they made sense? 🤔

I can't believe it either... HOWEVER, it was the first and last time you got a star when you were being a little brat about it. don't lose the star, it took me a while to find it kdhwka 🤐 phew, I'm glad you didn't even mention the name of the book or make other recommendations, I won't take note and bring some kind of update when I can see about it better. well, as long as we don't go back to talking about what we definitely weren't talking about, then I think things are totally fine. and I'm not going to say that this thing about not making literal sense, but the feelings being there is something even more impactful due to the fact that you can reach a level of understanding and even greater interpretation due to the fact that these feelings - despite being the focus - continues between the lines with synonyms and comparisons.

your torturous reminder is so funny sorry- picture after picture and she still by your side huh?

I'm curious to know what would have happened if I hadn't understood 😶

I like that you have cool opinions and throw them into your fics, not exactly just about that, but how you see the characters (Kate being the biggest example like you just said). It's exactly at this moment when I think you would be super in favor of Shrek's speech about people being like onions, full of layers. okay, your turn to share another thought about Kate even though you already do this when you write.

– 🌟

nope, you're not getting that out of me that easily. yup, that's how it works. especially that message since it was the first thing i wrote when i woke up lmao. [i did check my phone at 4am and read the messages but i fell back asleep before i could even think about replying so...do with that information what you will]

aw, i think you're a little soft on me 👀 i won't lose it, promise. can't risk you not wanting to give me another one later. i know, it's such a relief none of those things ever happened, imagine the chaos bringing it up would cause. and since we're not talking about it i definitely won't go read some more poems and bring them up to you, not at all. i'm so glad you didn't expand on my point about feelings being the focus because it's not like that's exactly what i try to do in all my fics because i think it's so much more impactful. i also won't admit i can't come up with anything to add because i love the way you didn't phrase that sentence. and i won't admit reading dickinson is what made me try to go above and beyond with simple yet impactful imagery.

excuse you, it's not funny, it's in fact very torturous. especially when it's an old picture of her and my heart stops for a second or two until i remember i'm supposed to be mad at her.

probably nothing except me being sad about it, tbh. unfortunately, now there'll be nothing to stop me from bringing emily dickinson up even more.

i wouldn't say my opinions are cool, i just think about them a lot because that's the way i am. i think adding those little thoughts/opinions is what makes writing fun and what can make a fic stand out because imagine how boring it would be if kate was just a one-dimensional being who just went along with the plot. it would be awful. and yes, you're right, i'm a sucker for that comparison lmao. [but only in spanish because Shrek is funnier in spanish, argue with the wall] i have so many thoughts all of the time but right now all i can think about is how alone she truly is and how that impacts how loyal and devoted she is to the people around her. like, we know she's traumatized af because of her dad's death, she's severely attached to her mom despite how damaging that relationship can be, and she hella admires clint from afar until the events of hawkeye. we never hear anything about her having other family members or friends or anything at all. i know a lot of people headcanon kate as being popular or a jock and stuff but like...idk, sometimes i can't see it. i don't know where i was going with this but those are my shuffled cards, now it's your turn to complete the deck.

[prussian-bog-monster]

The Shamus

Chapter 1/? Attempted Noir/Murder Mystery (This probably won’t make any sense if you didn’t read my “excerpt” that I posted a few days ago. Even the excerpt is confusing, sorry.) 

The air in the room was stuffy, Garrett shifted uncomfortably from the daunting glare the man was giving him. The Detective dared to stare back. Squinting challengingly at the man sitting across from him. The redhead gave a low chuckle at this.

“So, a big city detective decided to come visit my town.” The man stood slowly, wandering around the dark room.

“I don’t know why your here and I want you gone.” He stopped in front of a barely lit lamp and with a click the room was illuminated.

Garrett squinted, looking around. Everything was covered in expensive material. The tall curtains were a dark red velvet, a large working desk was off to the side and covered in papers and files. Even the several oil lamps had meticulous designs on them.

“A little birdie told me that Clyde, has been on conspiring with you.” The man said, extending his sleeved arm over to the unmoving figure beside him.

The older man’s eyes were shut. There was a hint of his chest rising and falling. A fabric was tied around his mouth, just like the detective. His hair greying and thin. He wore a black morning coat with a dark bow tie.

“I’m afraid that you’ll be getting the wrong information from the wrong people.” The man continued.

‘Clyde’ was the very posh man Garrett ran into earlier in the day. He had introduced himself as a butler and insisted that the woman he worked for ‘Ms. Fondu’? ‘Fondaine’? something of the sort, would be more than happy to meet the Detective. Garrett politely declined at first, but the shorter man insisted that a dinner with the said woman would be helpful for his investigation. The Detective ended up agreeing, desperate to get the investigation over with.

“I should give you a chance to talk, huh?” The drawling voice said.

The man’s rough hands started working on the fabric tied around the Detective’s mouth. When it was released, he stretched his jaw about.

“Who are you? And I don’t know what the hell your talking about.” Garrett uttered in a low growl unrecognizable even for himself.

The man stared at Garrett, his expression unreadable. His surprisingly nimble fingers dug in his pockets and took out a cigarette.

“You got a lighter, Detective?”

“I don’t know, untie me and we’ll see.” Garrett gave another frustrated tug at his bounded hands.

Amusement flashed across the man’s face.

“Alright, I think it’s only fair if you knew about me, since I know a lot about you.” He smiled a pleasant smile, but it gave Garrett an uneasy feeling.

“My name is Andrew Siwicki, my family runs the town..so to speak. This place is perfectly fine without nosy detectives, such as yourself.” His arms were crossed like a child, but his eyes were pure vexation.

“Your family runs the place? Never heard of you.” Garrett said harshly.

“Well that’s because you wouldn’t want to hear about us. Anyone who says anything will be immediately,” He paused with a hum,

“..blotted out.” He gave Garrett a quick smile, before walking towards his desk drawer, pulling out a silver lighter and lighting his cigarette between his fingers.

“What do you mean ‘blotted out’?”

“Oh you wouldn’t want to know, Detective.” He responded scratching his neatly trimmed stubble with his index finger and his thumb. “But that’s not what your here for.” His movements were hypnotic.

“Well care to explain why you’ve decided to kidnap two men and strap them to chairs?” Garrett said his gaze sharp and demanding.

“‘Kidnap’ is a strong word. I prefer ‘gathered’. It’s just that you two are out of line, been scheming possibly.” Andrew took a long pull from the cigarette and letting it out almost artfully.

“Scheming about what?”

“I suspect the recent knavery of this town. Though, I wouldn’t have predicted that a detective from across the world..would be interested enough to look into any of it,” His eyes focused on Garrett’s,

“Which leads me to believe that something else is going on and I don’t like it one bit.” He continued as he leaned against the desk, his left leg kicking back and forth comfortably.

“Detroit is not ‘from across the world’. There’s been a murder and I was assigned by my officials to investigate it. That’s all.”

“A simple murder wouldn’t’ve led you here. Murders aren’t uncommon and we’ve handled it well without you and your Detroit friends.” Andrew waved his hand dismissively.

“I feel like me and my ‘Detroit friends’ should be even more involved, now that I know this is how newcomers are welcomed.” He gave his head a tilt, “And how murders are ‘uncommon’.”  

Andrew tapped his cigarette on an ashtray at the edge of the large desk, he gave a small huff.

“What secret does this small hidden town hold that you’ve decided to knock someone unconscious and interrogate them?”

The redhead cocked an eyebrow, not responding.

“Whopping sales? Short lines for popcorn at the local movie theater?” The sarcasm in his voice was imminent.

The man’s eyebrows were knitted together, as he was about to open his mouth, a sudden grunt came from beside Garrett.

The drooping figure’s head slowly rose up. He blinked, once, twice, then his eyes widened as he realized what was happening. His voice shaking trying to speak and was attempting to break away from the ropes.

Andrew rolled his eyes almost exhaustingly, sauntering over to the alarmed man.

“Hey- hey, calm down, your fine.” Garrett said in an attempted reassuring voice, even he didn’t believe it.

The older man gave him a look as if saying ‘You don’t know what your talking about’.

“Clyde, good to see you again.” Andrew said casually.

“I heard that you and the detective here were planning on teaming up? Is something else happening in my town that I don’t know about?” Andrew untied the man’s gag and took another pull at his cigarette.

“Mr. Siwicki! Pleas- I haven’t done anything wrong. Ms. Fontaine can confirm to you that I have nothing to do with the Detective.” His forehead shone with sweat.

‘Ms. Fontaine, that’s what it was.’ Garrett thought to himself.

The Detective looked at Andrew and back to the older man, “Wait- you know this guy?”

The Butler responded with a small nod.

“Yes, sir. I’ve known him his whole life.”

“Right. Which upsets me more that someone familiar with the rules would be considering on breaking them.” Andrew’s arms were crossed again, his slowly deteriorating cigarette in his full lips.

“I promise you, sir, that I have done nothing wrong and am planning on keeping it that way.” Clyde looked to his feet, “I’ve learned my lesson, sir.” He finished.

“Can someone tell me what in the hell is going on?” Garrett gave another impatient tug.

“I took you here as a warning. Asking you two to dinner wouldn’t’ve gotten the message across,” Andrew walked over to his desk, “I was thinking about finishing the job right here, making sure both of you won’t cause any more trouble.” He opened a drawer. He held a  small pocket pistol that glittered against the light.

Garrett’s mouth went dry, “What-”

“But I’ve taken quite a liking to the Detective, so i’ll just leave the interaction here.” He sauntered behind the older man and took off his restraints. Garrett watched intently.

“Stay.” Andrew uttered to Clyde and turned to Garrett.

He put the gun behind the Detective’s back. Garrett could feel Andrew get closer, his hot breath against the back of his neck. He spoke, his voice low and threatening.

“If I were you, Watts, I’d go back to Detroit. Tell your little detective friends that everything here is all well and dandy,” Andrew slid the gun up, behind Garrett’s head now.

“Never look back if you want to keep that pretty little head of yours in one piece.” Andrew whispered and took the ropes off Garrett’s wrists.

“Clyde, go get Gregory and Heinz, tell them to lead you two out the manor and make sure you never look back or say anything about this to anyone, got it?”

Clyde obediently nodded, headed for the door.

“You let him go, just like that? No gun to his head, or a death threat?” The Detective spun around to face the shorter man.

Andrew lowered the gun, putting it in his pocket. “Clyde knows what happens when someone doesn’t follow the rules. I’m not too worried about him.”

“I’m guessing this whole show was to scare me away? ” Garrett looked down at the man, studying the crazed look in his eyes, it was easy to get lost in them.

“Not a show, Detective.”  The shorter man had a grin.

“You do know this won’t stop me from continuing my investigation right?” Garrett straightened his tie.

“Oh I understand that, I know your type.” Andrew looked up at him through his lashes.

“And what’s my type?” The space between them gravely close.

Andrew hummed, “Curious..too curious.”

“Maybe I have the right to be. Considering the fact that it is my job.”

“There’s a right place and a right time to be curious, Detective, this town is neither of those things.” Andrew took out another cigarette from his pockets, his gaze never leaving Garrett’s.

“Hm, I’ll be the judge of that.” Garrett dug in his trench coat pockets for a lighter and with a slide of his thumb, a small flame was between the men. Andrew accepted Garrett’s offer, their eyes still fixed on each other's. The air was getting stuffy again.

Andrew put the cigarette onto the blaze with his lips on the other end. Garrett was enthralled by those lips, he let his mind wander as to what it might feel like with his own mouth clashing onto the other man’s. He knew it was wrong to be thinking that at such a time.

His imagination was cut off abruptly by Clyde’s thin stature swiftly flying in the room and two intimidatingly large men following, “Mr. Siwicki?” Clyde croaked.

“Greg, Heinz, show Clyde and the Detective the exit . Make sure they get where they're supposed to go.” Andrew gave a small puff, the white smoke covering Andrew’s slight flush.

“Of course, sir.” One of the two men said while the other tightly took a hold of Garrett’s forearm.

“Right this way, Legs.” Garrett rolls his eyes at this.

“No need to hold my hand, I won’t get lost.” Garrett pulled his arm away from the larger man and looked back at Andrew, and Andrew looked back, smiling.

“Curiosity killed the cat, Detective Watts.” He said with a sly smirk.

“But satisfaction brought it back, Mr. Siwicki.” Garrett simply winked at Andrew, walking out the room.

Andrew took another long pull and exhaled. He walked towards the large window, pushing back the curtains and looked down at the tall and rugged detective being escorted out the manor.

“Interesting.” He said to himself and closed the curtain.

Hullo, I’ll be posting this on AO3 after I get some much needed rest and some much many caffeines. I literally have never shared my work before, but I had sm fun! Message/anon me any questions or feedback!

[bibiscate]

Took long enough but I finally made Usagi!!

Couldn’t decide what kinda clothing would look better in this version, so I did more than one

He also got those cool mystic swords but unfortunately they are broken, ops

Okay, so, headcanons ahead:

Since rise is really creative with it’s characters, I wanted a new creative introduction for Usagi this time, maybe more of a backstory when compared to his 2003/2012 self.

I also wanted to do something he would hate for conflict dksalfjsa

So here it goes

Born a Yokai to a important family that serves the Council of Heads for centuries

Is expected that he, too, would be one of their agents or guards

But Usagi was kind of a rebel and didn’t like that

He followed the rules just enough to not get in trouble, but it didn’t take long for his attitude to put him in a tight spot

Maybe he was caught doing things he shouldn’t, or maybe he was framed for things he didn’t do. Probably both but don’t know what he did exactly

The Council was furious. He was convicted as a criminal and later, one of the city's most wanted fugitives

Part of his punishment was being used as a test subjct with an experimental liquid the Council was making

Usagi wasn’t told what that liquid would, or could do, nor about the intentions the Council had in using it

The result: He was cursed to transform into... a rabbit. A normal one.

Yes I just did that just for plot and because I think he would hate it more than an actual felony sentence lol

Only the same liquid could turn him back, and he would never have the chance, as the other part of his sentence was: perpetual imprisonment. Yay!

Shenanigans happens, he manages to escape

But he’s still a bunny and still a fugitive

While he was being chased, he managed to flee as far away as possible, to the least unlikely place they would look for him, the surface.

Of course they wouldn't risk it, right?

Wrong

With guards disguised with cloaking broches looking for him at all times, he was accidentally found by a human child, who found him ‘far too cute' and so he was kidnapped adopted

A Lilo & Stitch situation ensues, where he takes the opportunity to escape his pursuers

At first, only using the child for his benefit, little by little he realizes that the chances of him returning to his old life are almost none, he starts to get used to the life of a pet, regrettably, of course.

Years later, still having the habit of running away and doing anything he feels like doing, Usagi senses the familiar aura of mystical objects. Weapons, powerful ones

He discovers four strange turtles, neither yokai nor humans

Thinks it has something to do with the liquid they used on him, or "ooze" as they called it

Sooner or later he would accidentally attract their attention, and his owner, who always goes after him when he runs away would too come to find him adn the turtles. After some akward first meeting and finding out more about them and about mutants, he thinks that the best option for him is to stay close to these beings, as strange as they are.

With a friendship forming between the turtles and his owner, it didn’t take long for them to become one of the oozequito’s victims.

Thankfully, Usagi bravely saves them from becoming a mutant by... eating... the... insect

Half an hour later, there's a mutant/rabbit yokai in Donnie's lab, and a lot of explaining to do.

Maybe I’ll post more about his personality, but later, now I tired kdsak

Also will soon post about his ‘’owner’’ who is my recently revamped oc!! Yes I sorry if you think that’s cringe but I still doing it lol

it’s the only way I found to connect some plot points I sorry but bear with me I’ll explain it in the future promise