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bumpkinspice0 · 5 months ago

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Parallels Chapter 18: Worth Everything

Miguel O'Hara x Spider!FemReader

No use of y/n

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2k

Summary: You deal with the aftermath of Miguels choice

Warnings: Angst O'clock, Talks of death, Panic attacks, like I have no idea how to write these feelings but we're here

A/N: I am so horribly sorry for the wait, life just be life. Bad news, this update is a little short. Good news, it's short because I took half of it and put it in the next chapter which is now half written and will be posted (hopefully) in 2ish weeks

Series Masterlist

AO3

_______

No one ever talks about how desensitized you become with this job. How easily things bordering on impossible become mundane to you. What you deal with on a daily basis, if you think about them too much, it all becomes somewhat laughable. Things like interdimensional travel and building-sized mutants just become part of your everyday life. You’re not entirely sure anything could shock you anymore. After a decade of this shit, you’re not sure what was left anyway.

Yet, you sit completely silent on the couch.

You’re not supposed to be here. Not just with Miguel but… here here. It was all going to end. You had your fair share of brushes with death in the past, an accepted hazard of all this crap, but just knowing the finality of it somehow made it all the more sobering. You always made it out okay. But this time… This time you weren’t supposed to.

You were supposed to die— and they all knew about it. He knew about it— and he saved you anyway.

The most sacred rule was broken by the very man who declared it. What more was there left to say?

“This whole shit storm just got even worse,” Gabe grumbles as he analyzes the numbers, “With her not even being in her own dimension… I don’t know.”

“ Shut. Up.” Miguel scolds him in a hushed tone. His eyes keep darting over to you as the two brothers work.

After their immediate confrontation— with a good amount of screaming— they got to work. Countless projections filled Miguel's living room. You had no idea how to decipher the equations and charts and readings— which were all likely pointing to the same solution. You shouldn’t be here. This feels so wrong because you should be—

And you're just… sitting here. Fucking useless.

“Can I help?” You dare to ask.

“No,” Gabe bites, “You’ve done enough.”

“This isn’t her mistake,” Miguel hastily steps in front of you, “It’s mine. So I’ll fix it.”

“Fix it?” Gabe barks out a laugh. “I thought I could trust you. I thought you’d learned.”

“There are things at play here that none of us could have anticipated,” Miguel says as calmly as he can.

“Don’t,” Gabe groans, pushing his current projection screen away. “Please just don’t… talk like a scientist for one minute.” He runs his hands over his face with a deep sigh, stepping backward until he practically trips onto the adjacent couch. The sun has started peaking through the windows behind him.

They’ve been at this for hours.

Miguel seems to share the sentiment, stepping away from both of you. The neon projections hover motionless around all of you. They tell a story you don’t know how to read, and you're afraid to ask one of them what it says.

So, you just sit quietly, waiting for one of them to deliver the final blow… whatever that may be.

Death? Banishment? Some kind of interdimensional imprisonment? This is uncharted territory. The unknowns are stacked against you in every way. Miguel always plays it safe. Always bends to the will of the canon. Always makes the tough choices. Will he realize saving you was a mistake?

Even with all the gibberish equations floating around your head, you knew what the easiest option would be. The cause and the solution to this problem was sitting right here on the couch— quiet and useless.

Being Spiderman is a sacrifice.

You push the intrusive thoughts back. He wouldn’t have saved you, he wouldn’t be working tirelessly just to let all that effort, all that risk, be in vain— right?

He saved you. He chose to save you.

Miguel is the first to break the bloated silence that’s settled over the room. He turns to Gabe.

“Get out.”

“ Excuse me? ” Gabe is instantly back on his feet. “After what you pulled—”

“We all need a break,” Miguel towers over his younger brother, “We’re spinning our wheels. No solution is going to come up if we don’t give ourselves time to digest what we know.”

“What we know?!” Gabe brushes past him. “We don’t know anything!” He waves his arms around the projections.

“Gabe!” Miguel hisses as he grabs his brother’s arm. His eyes briefly dart to you then back to Gabe. It’s a subtle gesture, you almost miss it, but his message is clear.

You’re scaring her.

Are you scared? No, not scared— absolutely terrified.

“Miguel…” You see Gabe’s shoulders drop ever so slightly. The anger is dissipating and being replaced with something you can’t quite place. Defeat? Pity? He glances at you for a split second before looking back to Miguel, “Migs… No puede volver a su casa.”

“ Sé…” Miguel says solemnly.

“Ella no puede quedarse aquí.”

“Si…lo hará.”

“Mig–”

“I’m right here,” you bite out, harsher than you intended. Your Spanish may be extremely lacking but you’re not an idiot, “You can’t just talk about me like I’m not right here.”

“I’ll go. We’ll continue this later,” Gabe sighs, pulling his arm from Miguel’s grasp. He pauses in front of you, you finally look him in the eye. It was pity that replaced all that anger. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry.”

“Thanks,” you dismissively respond, turning away.

You hear his boots shuffle over to the elevator.

“Lyla’s main controls are turned over to me for the time being.” He announces as the elevator dings open.

“Understood.” Miguel all but grumbles in response.

Miguel can’t be trusted with such power anymore… because of you. Because he had to save you he’s been stripped of leadership.

The energy in the room lightens when Gabe leaves but it’s still nowhere near comfortable. You still don’t move from the couch, blankly staring out the window. You pull your knees into your chest for some semblance of comfort and find none. At least the sunrise was beautiful today.

“ Arañita ?” You hear Miguel’s voice. You feel the cushions dip next to you. Still, you don’t look at him. “Please… say something?”

“What do you want me to say?” your grip around your knees tightens, “What could I possibly say right now?”

The spider-sense hums faintly between you two, as it had for the last several hours. Strange how you always thought you could trust it. It was just another instinct after all. An extension of yourself. It would be like not trusting your own hands to tell you a stove is hot. Yet here you both are with your hands on the stove, the flesh long burned away.

The numbness and shock were finally boiling into something else. You need a release. You need to feel something… anything else.

He doesn’t hesitate to pull you into him when the tears start. To your surprise, you don’t pull away. You don’t know if you hate or adore him for this. You don’t know what to feel for any of this. Gratitude? Horror?

You feel like something was taken away and everything you wanted was given to you at the same time. You should be dead. You’re so happy you're alive. Someone will pay the price for this. Miguel has saved you. Miguel has doomed you. How can you fix this? Is there even an answer?

For now, crying will just have to do.

“Why?” you finally croak after an eternity.

“Why?” His lips brush against your hair.

“Why save me?” you lean against his chest, part of you hating how much his touch comforts you, “Why interrupt the canon if you, of all people, understand the risk.”

He’s quiet longer than you’d like. You’re head rises and falls with his breathing. His heartbeat speeds up ever so slightly.

“I tried not to.”

The admission stings more than you’d like it to. Of course he tried not to. Of course he didn’t come parading over on a white steed as soon as he got the news. This is Miguel O’Hara, the king of law and order in the multiverse. This is Miguel O’Hara… the man who’s changed your life forever.

“But you didn’t.” You finally say.

“But I didn’t.” He repeats, running a soothing hand over your hair.

You finally turn up to face him, surly looking a mess with red puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“I– I don’t know what to do, Miguel,” you choke, willing more tears down. You’ve had enough crying. It won’t solve anything.

“You don’t have to do anything.” His hands find your face, forcing you to look at him. You see the pleading in his eyes. “You don’t have to do anything. I promise you I will fix this.”

You want to believe him. God, you do desperately want to believe him.

“We just haven’t done anything like this with a—” he cuts himself off, his teeth biting into his lip.

But you know the next words.

“Say it.”

“Arañita, I don’t think–”

“Say. It.”

His shoulders drop, defeated. “An anomaly.”

You scramble out of his grasp, suddenly suffocated by the magnitude of all of this. You pace over to the windows. Your emotions have been running high for the past month and this is the horrible climax. The horrible, perplexing climax. You finally let out a gut-wrenching scream, and it somehow helps more than the tears.

You're alive. You’re alive but you're just so… so something . Angry? Or maybe you're scared. Or maybe everything. Yes, that’s it. You feel everything. Rage. Gratitude. Confusion. Fear. All of them— but one is distinctly missing.

Hope. You feel absolutely no hope.

You’re an anomaly now. A bug in the system. Something this whole tower was built to stop. Of course there’s no hope here.

You should be dead, but you’re not. You should have taken the cure and ended all of this, but you didn’t. You should have done a lot of things but you never had the strength to do them. But if you did… you’d be dead right now.

Miguel catches you before you fall to your knees. He holds you close, comforting you the only way he knows how. This is all his fault.

What, saving your life? That continuous voice in your head reasons.

You can’t bring yourself to hate him, but you can’t bring yourself to be completely grateful either. What was honestly the right reaction to this? There isn’t one. This is all just so… fucked.

You’re an anomaly. Something unstable that causes damage without trying. Your mere existence could end universes now. A realization hits you.

“I can’t go home, can I?”

His pause is answer enough. He eventually speaks anyway.

“No.” You feel the remorse in his voice, “For all your world knows, you are… gone. The canon is playing out as predicted. Entering and interrupting it could have severe consequences. Your atoms are—”

“What are you going to do with me then?” You ask the question almost clinically as if trying to bypass the raging storm inside your head.

“What?”

“I’d lock me up if I were you. We don’t know—”

“You think I’d do that to you?” Miguel pulls away, forcing you to look into his eyes. “You really think I’d do that?”

You shy away from his gaze. “It’s the safest option. I’m dangerous.”

“You’re staying here. You’re staying here with me until we solve this.”

You can’t help but feel like he’s breaking more rules right now. Keeping an anomaly in your home? Unthinkable. You're a monster now. The enemy.

An anomaly.

“I’m not worth this kind of risk. I’m not—”

He pulls you into him, his lips enveloping yours with a deep moan. He cradles your face as he kisses you passionately— with meaning. You almost taste his pain. Your shared pain. The spider-sense quakes between you, just as afraid as both of you. You lean into it hoping to find relief there. And there is some, but not enough. It’s never enough when it’s Miguel. Not enough to fix things this time, unfortunately.

He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. You breathe each other's air, both surely hoping a kiss fixes the mess you’ve made. He places another small kiss on your forehead.

“You are worth everything .”

________

No puede volver a su casa.- She can’t go home.

Sé- I know.

Ella no puede quedarse aquí.- She can’t stay here.

Si…lo hará.- Yes… she will.

Please please please let me know if any of this isn't correct

________

Taglist:

@ineedgarlicbread @pinkiemme @thesilenthill @bontensbabygirl @fallenangelsongwolf @raerorigel @littlefreakymunson @viriexo

@w33ni3 @del-ightfulling @radiantlyfemme @5sosuperntaural

Taglist post here!!!

#parallels #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara smut

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clockworkspider · 2 years ago

Note

please do tell us about your villainess isekai OCs 👀 👀

WELL I’M GLAD YOU ASKED! (No, really, thank you for giving me an opportunity to ramble. You don’t have to read all of this.)

So the Villainess transmigrator is a person who lives by the philosophy of “do no harm but take no shit”. In her previous life, her father was a murderer in a publicized case, and served a lifetime in prison. Despite the negative press haunting her family, she was raised with love by her single mother, who drilled this philosophy into her skull before she passed away, “the world is not fair, but as long as you live an honest and upright life, you can live with your head held high regardless of other people’s judgements.”

That’s the path she plan to take in this life. She will live an honest and good life, and if she’s still cast as a Villainess, well, she’s already died once. At least she’d be able to die without shame.

(She died pushing a jaywalking child away from oncoming vehicle, as they do in this genre.)

She devoted her time to philanthropy, and didn’t work particularly hard to ingratiated herself with the cast, but she was good to them and was generally as good a person as one can be while being a parasitic noble in an oligarchy. By the time the plot started she had a good reputation and decent rapport with the cast.

When the Heroine showed up, she was different from what the Villainess had remembered… The heroine of the game was a quiet, nondescript girl. This girl was quiet, but seemed oddly intense, the Villainess kept feeling like the Heroine was watching her.

One day, while humming the tune of a pop-song from her previous life, the Heroine overheard. The girl’s eyes widened and, with desperate hope, came up and clutched the Villainess’s hands, “I knew it! You’re from the real world too, aren’t you?”

The Heroine was the child of immigrants in her past life. She was drilled all her life with how much sacrifices her parents had made so she could live a good life. She became a lawyer as her parents had wished, but just when she reached her desired salary, she became disillusioned by both her job and the expectations of her parents. She decided to quit her job at the prestigious law firm to work with a non-profit, much to the dismay of her parents.

She was heading to her new job when she swerved her car to avoid a jaywalking child. A woman came out of nowhere to push the child away, and she wasn’t able to avoid hitting her. She lost control of her car and crashed.

The Heroine felt horrible about dying, and about still being alive. She felt like she had abandoned her parents, who had sacrificed their lives in their homeland to give her the chance for a better one. Even tho she’s still alive, everything she knew was gone. Despite her role as the protagonist of an otome game, she had a hard time actually connecting with any of the characters because that’s what they were, characters. They follow a script which she had read multiple times through multiple play-throughs. None of them seemed real.

None of them except the Villainess and her Servant. Those are the only two people who are off-script.

(The Villainess’s Servant was originally one of the Heroine’s love interests from the game. In the game, he was an abused, quiet young man that the Protagonist had to "rescue" from his cruel mistress. In this life, he was the first to notice that there was something different about his mistress. In a moment of desperate loneliness, our Villainess confessed that she was in fact a different person, and that she was not from this world. He had a hard time believing her, but couldn't really do much about it. She made a deal with him, he would keep her secret and give her pointers about living in this world, in exchange, she'd take care of his sick sister and allow him to join in on her lessons.

Throughout time the Servant becomes an important confidante to the Villainess, and he also gains a more open and snarky personality. Hence being off-script.

From this, the Heroine came to the conclusion that the Villainess has the power to make characters “self-actualize” by diverging from the script.)

The Heroine was ecstatic to find someone real. Someone who understood meme references, who had seen anime, who had experienced the internet, who knew pop music, ate Chinese food, took the subway. She latched onto the Villainess immediately and promised she’d never let the Villainess meet her original fate. They immediately bonded. (Even tho the Villainess is a bit put-off by the Heroine’s intensity.)

The Heroine was there to shield the Villainess from every misunderstanding, and made sure everyone was able to see her friend for the good person she is.

The Heroine wants to change the world. She is not satisfied with getting the Happy Ending of the game. She is not satisfied with running an orphanage with the Villainess and occasional charity work. What about after they pass away? Will the next nobles be just as benevolent? No, there has to be systematic changes. They need to provide the masses with education. They need to reduce class difference and bring about the age of enlightenment.

(Because if she died, if she couldn’t prove her life’s worth to her parents, then at least she could make some real difference in this world. If she changed the world, maybe then her death would have meaning.)

And to do that, she needs to marry the Prince.

So, basically, you have a Heroine who is fixated on doing good, and a Villainess who is fixated on being good.

The Heroine asks the Villainess to not interfere with the Prince’s route. She’s going to follow that route and make him marry her. The Villainess just have to cancel their engagement amicably and she’d be able to avoid her canon fate.

The Villainess was not fully on-board with the Heroine’s ambitions. She think the Heroine’s being reckless. Why can’t they just do the good that’s in front of them? But she’s a rather detached person, and doesn’t try to sway others from their opinions. So she agreed to cancel her engagement, and the Prince does fall for the Heroine, and marries her.

The thing the Heroine doesn’t realize is, the characters has always been sentient… She’s just too blinded by her grief for her previous life to see it. The Prince had genuinely fallen in love with this woman, who was kind and intelligent and a little mysterious. And this fascinating woman seem to only ever have eyes for him and the Villainess. Which makes him feel special, but also a little jealous. He used a magical charm to spy on them. That’s how he found out that his wife has some very dangerous political ambitions.

The Prince’s whole characterization is that he grew up surrounded by people who were trying to use him. In the game, the Heroine ends up winning his heart by genuinely caring about him as a person. To hear that the Heroine doesn’t even see him as being sentient, and only wants to use him for power, and had essentially manipulated him… It really broke him. Plus, her political ambitions will literally destroy the power of the monarchy, everything he stands for and must preserve. Further investigation yields that she’s meddling with magic.

He has no choice but to lock her up.

The Prince could not imprison the Villainess without proof of treason, since the Villainess’s family has a lot of political sways. She had also been a good friend since childhood, and she wasn’t the one to break his heart. So he didn’t go after her.

The Villainess had lived her life somewhat detached, and kept people at arm’s length. But now she had come to realize that, in the Heroine’s pursuit of her ambition, she was heading towards the fate of the OG!Villaness of the game. She realized that this was the first time she’s ever had a friend who was willing to fight for her, to protect her against slander, when she never had a friend like that in her past life. And she couldn’t let the Heroine die, or remain locked up forever. She has to rescue her friend.

Anyway… The Heroine’s journey is to learn to let go of her past and truly live this life, to value and enjoy it beyond achieving accomplishments, to see the NPCs as people. The Villainess’s journey is also to truly live this life, but in the sense of actually valuing it and the people in it, and to fight for what’s important for her.

The Prince’s journey will be to unlearn the divine right of king (lol) but also to gain confidence and self-respect and know that he doesn’t need a hot girl to be in love with him (no, well, sorta).

And they still get to change the world together!! Somehow! There should be at least 2 more OG love interests that I never thought about. Also... will there be actual romance here? Will the poor Prince ever find true love? All very good questions I don't haven answers to yet.

#clockrant #if you made it to the end I'm kissing you on the mouth btw #ocs #I kinda like them unnamed but the Villainess is Rosaline and the Heroine is Joann

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marilostfieldblog · 1 year ago

Text

[Video transcript begin.]

[The camera is in someone's front shirt pocket, two sets of footsteps are heard alongside the clicking of a metal object. One of the two people takes a deep breath before sighing.]

?: Listen I uh… I'm still sorry about… y'know… failing to get Sparrow out.

[Voice identified: Mari.]

?: You tried, Mari. That's all anyone could ask for. You shouldn't blame yourself for how things happened.

[Voice Identified: William Keane.]

M: I'm the reason Rose is back, though! She shouldn't have to be here!

W: Whilst I agree that Rose shouldn't be anywhere near here, they made their own choice. You didn't force her hand.

[Mari begins silently crying. Barely picked up by the microphone.]

M: I fucked up Will… If I had just tried harder, I…

W: Oi. Don't go on about the self-sacrifice bullshit on me now, Mari. Anyone who would have tried would likely have the same outcome.

M: If I had just stopped Sparrow from running off I… besides you and I both know what my plan was… you caught me the day before.

W: Mm. I did. Sparrow is a child, Mari, they don't listen to what people older than them say. Or younger, actually.

M: They had a good reason for it… Cassidy getting caught. I just… I wish I could've kept my promise with Edgar.

[There appears to be a slight sigh from the other, as it begins speaking again.]

W: I do too. But, you know what? You fucking tried. That's what matters, you actually tried.

M: God… if Sarah heard me still feeling bad… she'd kick my ass. Hell… she also told me it wasn't my fault.

W: You know, if more than one person says it isn't your fault, it most likely isn't your fault. If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, feels like a duck, and in every other aspect is a duck, mate, its probably a fucking duck.

M: It… it feels like my fault…

W: And it will, for a while. A long, long while. But it shows you care. Ness said that to me.

M: God… no offense but, I didn't expect to hear that from you.

W: I do not practice what I preach, mate.

[There's a chuckle from William.]

[Mari begins humming a song as they walk, identified as "My grandfather's clock".]

M: Ugh… that damn song is stuck in my fuckin head.

W: Is the music box still there?

M: No, Sparrow has it.

W: … Where do you think they are?

M: Somewhere with Rose… I don't fuckin’ remember where.

[Mari stops humming.]

M: Why do you ask?

W: … the song's soothing, is all.

M: Yeah uh… I haven't… tried talking to Rose or Sparrow. I'm sure Rose isn't mad but… Sparrow.

W: Once Sparrow realizes you were trying to keep 'em safe, they… could understand. We can cover the ground we haven't checked later, if you want.

M: William… We lied to them for months… About their mother. You, me, Edgar… Jenny seems to be the only one they aren't mad at.

W: In my defense, I didn't actually lie. The file does state she wasn't entirely dead. But… I don't think they'd care for technicalities.

[Mari stops, their feet firm in place.]

M: Ruby is dead. None of what that thing was is Ruby.

W: But–

M: No buts, William. Ruby is dead.

[There is no reply from the other, just a glance downwards]

M: Trust me. I wish this was some fairy tale where all we have to do is hug Ruby and she’d turn back into a human. But it isn't.

W: if you would read how they're created, then–

M: There was a fucking bullet wound in her head. I'm sorry, and I know Rose would hate me for saying this. RUBY. IS. DEAD.

[A sudden loud bang is heard nearby. Followed by another, and then another.]

M: WHAT THE FUCK?

[Mari falls backwards. Landing with a loud thud.]

W: HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

[Will stays still, seemingly frozen in place]

M: SECURITY? A DEAD BODY? I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW!

[Another series of bangs.]

M: CAN WE JUST GO? I'D LIKE NOT TO DIE TODAY!

W: DEAD PEOPLE DON'T BANG ON DOORS. NOR DOES SECURITY. I think..?

M: MOTHERFUCKER, I DON'T CARE! COME ON!

[Another loud bang. This one not followed up by a second.]

W: uh… okay… wait.

[William's voice raises, still staring in the direction of the bangs]

W: Hello? Are you… not security? One bang for yes! [Aside] This is not gonna work.

[A pause. Then an extremely loud, singular bang. William gasps.]

M: God damn it… I don't have a choice here, do I?

W: No. We're helping. Right! Random person, 1 bang for if you're human!

[Another singular bang.]

M: [Whispered.] God damn it…

[Mari tries to stand up, only to fall right back down.]

M: Help?

W: Right, right, sorry.

[It reaches out, grabbing Mari's forearm. He pulls the other up to their feet.]

W: Okay. Right. Person banging on the wall, will you hurt us if we come near? 1 for yes, 2 for no?

[Two bangs.]

M: Come on then.

[Mari starts running in the direction of the banging.]

[There's a second pair of footsteps with the high pitched clicking, presumably Will's. He's a slight blur to the camera.]

M: RANDOM PERSON BANGING ON THE WALL! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

[A pause, before the banging continues, getting louder as the two approach.]

W: Those bangs sound like they fucking hurt, man! How the hells can someone even do that?!

M: I DON'T KNOW! LET'S JUST HURRY UP!

[Mari speeds forward, the sound of heavy breathing is also heard.]

W: Fucking hell, wait up!

M: NO! RANDOM PERSON, ARE YOU IN PAIN? 1 FOR YES, 2 FOR NO?

[A loud bang. Followed by a quiet thud.]

W: OKAY, NO FUCKING WAITING UP. I'LL CATCH UP.

M: YEP. THIS IS GONNA HURT!

[Mari runs fast enough to make the camera a black blur, they scream in pain every time their foot hits the ground.]

M: SON OF A BITCH!

W: WE'RE CLOSE DUDE, YOU GOT THIS!

M: KEEP BANGING ON THE DOOR, DUDE! WE'RE GONNA FIND YOU!

[The banging continues, but the space between each one grows longer as time goes on. They start to get slightly quieter.]

M: FOUND IT!

[Mari stops in front of a door, they try to open it only for the doorknob to barely even jiggle.]

M: Fuck… Locked…

[Will catches up, his panting and clanking leg audible with the pipe it used for walking.]

W: Idea! Person stuck, please push against the door?

[William grabs the door handle, and attempts to pull at it.]

W: What the hell do they put in these doors?

M: I do not know.

[Will backs off for a second and places the pipe aside, before warning the trapped person, and attempting again.]

M: Let me try.

[Mari slowly walks over to the door, limping. They look down for a moment, blood visibly leaking from their foot, which is slightly in frame.]

W: Dude, you’ll need serious care after this.

M: Yeah. Don't care.

[Mari grabs the door handle and tries to pull at it, still nothing. They step back before shouting and landing on the floor.]

M: FUCK! I STEPPED ON ONE OF THE BROKEN BONES IN MY FOOT!

W: OH FUCK.

M: THAT HURT!

W: I don't know how to help or what to do fuck, fuck–

M: Just… Get the fucking door open.

W: On it, I'm on it!

[He gets back into position, before pulling once more with all of its strength, the strain visible in its expression.]

M: You can do it!

[There is a loud sound of something breaking as the door finally flings open, and someone tumbles out. Landing face first on the floor, coughing violently.]

W: Oh, shit! Are yo–

M: Who the fuck–

[The man attempts to push himself off the ground with one hand, ultimately failing. He appears to be covered in blood. Some dried. Some a little more fresh. His white dress shirt is torn. And his brown hair is matted with more blood. He twitches slightly.]

M: E– Edgar?

[William is still holding itself against the door, staring down at the figure on the floor. It doesn't move a muscle.]

M: EDGAR? [To themselves.] No, no, I'm fucking losing it… he’s dead, he can’t be… can he?

[Mari hops up, their arms seen with the sound of hair being moved.]

[The man on the ground attempts to push himself up again, this time successfully being able to get onto his knees. He does not look up at the two. Not yet.]

M: Dude… Is… No fucking way… I… Do you need help?

[As Mari speaks, Will moves slowly towards the man. It reaches out an arm, and gently grasps a bit of his shirt. After a few seconds, he grasps it tighter, pulling on it slightly. Testing to see if the man in front of them is real.]

M: Dude…

?: [Quietly.] You…

[Voice identified: Edgar Elliot Pression.]

M: Edgar…

W: H– how…?

E: [Slightly louder.] I… you actually… I’m… is this…

M: Hello?

[Will's arm retreats, and curls his hand into a fist, to stop the sudden onslaught of shaking.]

[Instead of responding, Edgar begins to laugh, just loud enough for the software to be sure that the shaking isn’t from crying. Although that appears to be in the mix as well. His voice is slightly raspy and it sounds a little painful for him to speak.]

W: Ed– Edgar?...

M: Edgar… Y– you…

[He finally turns over, now sitting on the ground. His face is also covered in blood, dried streaks of it trail down from his mouth, the lines continue on, making their way down his neck and vanishing where his shirt collar begins. Dark bags sit under his eyes, which are full of tears. He stares at the two, a relieved smile on his face. His eyes jitter between the two, unsure who to focus on.]

E: You’re here! You– you’re actually here! And I’m–

[His voice falters, and he coughs a few times.]

M: I…

[Mari falls to the ground, wrapping their arms around Edgar, he attempts to raise his arms to return the gesture, but he doesn’t seem to be able to. The phone is angled towards Will.]

[William stands there, simultaneously aghast and agape, absolutely in shock, before copying Mari's movements, although he hugs both of the people on the ground. Its head is turned away, both to not hit the two with his "accessory", and to not cry on them.]

M: I… I thought… We thought we lost you.

E: No, I’ve– I’ve been here. I–

M: We haven't seen anything… Heard anything… Nothing.

W: I… l– looked for… gods k– know how long…

E: I’ve b– been in there for so long, I honestly th– thought you didn’t care. I t– thought you all left me t– to rot.

M: W– we didn’t leave y– you… we wouldn’t! We just didn't know… it– like I said, we haven't seen anything. Nothing. Like showfall was… blocking us, or some shit.

W: But… how? I thought H– Hetch shot you? We all saw. On that show.

E: T– they cut the broadcast. For anyone w– who cared. Made it seem like I– I got shot.

M: I…

[Mari stops, they take a deep breath, before laughing.]

M: I'm sorry…

E: Don’t.

M: I told you I wouldn't be here… I'm so sorry…

E: And I told you the show was on the 19th. I– I think we’re even now.

M: Sparrow… ugh… never min–

[Slightly noticed by the camera, Will's grip in the hug has heightened, properly hugging them both.]

[Edgar stays silent for 10 seconds.]

E: … I’ve really missed you guys.

[He shudders, covering his mouth with his arm. Possibly holding back vomit. He moves his arm away to speak.]

E: I haven’t been able to contact anybody. [Muttered.] Except Iris.

[Will jolts slightly.]

W: WET. CAT.

M: What? William, we're having a moment, is now really the time to describe all of us at any given moment?

E: Wait a minute. I remember being informed of that nickname.

W: SHE– SHE FUCKING KNEW! SHE WAS T– TALKING ABOUT YOU ON THAT FUCKING BLOG!

[Edgar laughs again. His tone becomes slightly frustrated for a moment.]

E: Yeah. She also threw pebbles at me.

M: I… Will, let me go, I need something out of my pocket… Edgar needs help.

[Mari pulls away fully. Will does as it's told, solely hugging Edgar now. Their arms tight around him. Edgar leans into it.]

M: Ok… hope these batteries still work.

[Mari pulls something out of their pocket, an old walkie-talkie. Scratched and chipped, they press a button and for the first 5 seconds nothing but static until…]

M: Hello, do you copy?

?: Mari! You and Will ok? You guys didn't die did you?

[IDENTITY REDACTED.]

M: We… found Edgar…

?: Wh– I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD!?

M: Will, you’re up.

W: … hm? Oh, u– uh, he's… he's alive!

?: HA! FUCKING BRILLIANT!

[The person clears their throat.]

?: Hi, Edgar, hope you’re uh… Well, at least kinda okay.

E: I’m uh… I’m really not. [A pause.] I’m sorry, I need to throw up. I think.

?: Don't fucking apologize! You've been through so much, it makes sense.

E: … Hm.

M: Hey um, get bread, blankets, and the first aid kit. We'll be there soon.

[Another click as the walkie-talkie shuts off.]

E: I, um… I do actually need to throw up. Can I…?

[Will moves away quickly, giving him space.]

W: Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm sorry.

[Edgar leans over away from the two and throws up, before looking back at Will, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.]

E: Don’t apologize.

M: Edgar do you… do you want to come back to my hideout? At least for a few days?

W: If not, w– we can always find you a quick way out? If that exists.

E: The hideout sounds… nice. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to really, uh. Walk. Or run. Or stand.

M: Hm… [Quietly.] adrenaline, please be my friend here.

[Mari slowly stands up, shaking slightly, the tremors appear noticeably in the video.]

M: Wait… should we tell Rose or… well… she wouldn't believe us, would she?

W: D– don't know. Not my place to say.

M: Edgar?

E: Hm? Sorry. I think I missed that. What?

M: Should we tell Rose? Or will she not believe us?

E: Oh. I… that’s your call. I don’t know if she will.

M: There's also everyone else…

E: Wait.

M: Yes? What is it?

E: How’s– how’s Jenny?

M: She um… Well… Um… Not great… Alive, but not great… Especially because…

[Mari stops, Extending their hand to Edgar.]

M: Never mind, we need to get going.

[Edgar nods, shakily raising his left hand. As he does so, one of the pieces of cloth tied around his arm slides down just enough to reveal the wound underneath, it looks like a deep bite mark, he rushes to cover it. Eyes wide with terror. His gaze flicks to both Mari and Will quickly.]

M: Edgar… what the fuck is that wound.

[Will is simply staring, his face unreadable, but it holds a subtle sadness in his eyes.]

E: It’s– I– ah, it’s um. Nothing.

M: Bullshit. What is it.

[Edgar looks away from Mari, and mutters something too quiet to hear.]

M: Please.

[He still doesn’t make eye contact.]

E: I didn’t… have anything to eat in there.

[Mari tenses.]

E: … I did what I had to.

M: Edgar…

E: Please don’t be mad at m–

[Mari picks the man up and braces him on their shoulders, interrupting his sentence.]

M: Soup and bread. We're getting you soup and bread.

E: … Thank you.

[He sounds as if he’s holding back more tears.]

M: You helped me, now it's my turn.

[Mari starts walking.]

M: William, you're coming too. Should we… update you on the way? Or do you want to wait?

E: I need to know what’s happened. I…

[He stops mid sentence.]

E: How long has it been…? I stopped looking at the date a while ago. Seemed… pointless.

M: Three weeks? I think? A little under? Maybe two and a half? Uh… Will?

W: Y– yeah. The latter.

M: Can I…

[Mari suddenly jolts, a choked sound escaping from their mouth.]

M: I… I really can't keep this up… should I say now or later?

E: I’d rather know now. If it’s important.

W: … Yeah, it’s very important.

M: I um… the escape failed… Sparrow ran off and found Ruby's corpse… and– it fucking stood up… Sparrow…

[Mari keeps walking, slowing down slightly, now sobbing.]

M: Rose is… I… I…

E: Mari. Did something happen to her? Y– you need to tell me. Please.

M: She ran in… She's in here with Sparrow… I'm so fucking sorry.

[Edgar stays silent.]

W: T-this is not Mari's fault, at all.

E: … Yes, I know.

[Will nods, fiddling with a cut on his hand.]

M: I'm sorry… I didn't mean for her to be here.

E: Mari. Stop it. It’s not your fault.

M: But it is… If I just kept hold of the wagon… or went a different direction–

E: Hindsight is always 20/20.

M: Yeah… But that does mean one thing… William.

[Mari turns to face William, the camera somewhat following.]

W: Y– yeah?

M: Remember our deal? If the escape failed?

W: I… do. Wait. Mari. No.

M: Ugh… Yeah… Really wish I didn't have to break that promise.

[Will sighs, but he nods.]

M: Still gonna try and get us all out of here… I won't have it any other way.

W: Pfft. Whatever you say, Drill Sergeant.

[Will does a mock salute with its free hand as a playful gesture, before readjusting its grip on the pipe. Edgar chuckles.]

M: Anyway… I'm gonna–

[Mari pulls out their phone, the camera facing the floor. They sigh after 10 seconds.]

M: Y'know what? Record this, I don’t care. Buh Bye!

[End transcript.]

#((OOC) YOU SAW NOTHING THE FIRST TIME >:( )#((OOC) TW emetophobia)#((OOC) TW mentioned/implied cannibalism)#showfall ask blog #encoreverse blog

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lumity-poggers · 2 years ago

Text

My thoughts on Watching and Dreaming

I watched the episode when it premeired last night but i hit post limit so couldnt post about it. Spoilers under the cut. sorry if anything is out of order lol im sick and im just throwing everything i thought last night down on this post.

-Luz being attacked by Amity genuinely made me cry

-"My girlfriend is too big a nerd to misremember an Azura quote" -luz probably

-Lilith having the haircut from For the Future but color scheme from season 1 is a nice touch

-"Dont you recognize your siblings" Ok damn man didnt need to go THAT far

-The giant stone Flapjack in Luz's nightmare killed me and not in the good funny way but in the sad crying way

-in the words of @minty-creator "BELOS FUCKETH OFF" (We were both watching the ep and screaming to each other about it)

-at first I thought belos was gonna try and possess king but then I realized no he's going to possess the fucking boiling isles titan

-I actually kinda liked that The Collector had no concept of death. They're a kid, an IMMORTAL GODLY KID. Of course they wouldnt know what death is

-Pacman Collector will haunt my nightmares

-The Collector needs a hug. I want to give them a hug.

-"You know this cant last forever" that was said to the collector but it feels like it was also aimed towards us

-The Archivists 🤝Pink Diamond "Wanna play a game?" *leaves them lonely*

-ok no but seriously the archivists telling Collector to play with the titans only to wipe them out leaving Collector all alone is just fucking cruel

-The Collector is just a lonely kid LET ME HUG THEM

-Me seeing Raine fight back: YES YOU GO

-Goo Belos in this episode looks like William Afton. Like- Remember that fucking fnaf 3 image where the springtrap head was open showing William? Thats what Belos looks like. Or burntrap from SB take your pick.

-Raine my beloved

-The Belos possessed Titan looks like a fucking dragon holy shit

-"Now that's a spinoff I'd watch" You and me both Luz

-The Collector picking up Raine's earring and realizing that the Raine talking to them wasnt actually Raine, and then looking upset is just AAAAAAAA LET ME FUCKING HUG THEM

-I LOVE that when the collector uses "Kindness and Forgiveness" on Belos IT DOESNT WORK. I FUCKING H A T E THAT TROPE OF POWER OF FRIENDSHIP REDEMPTION. It was one of the few things I genuinely hated about Steven Universe (SU is still a good show tho they just kinda overused villain redemption. And yeah yeah you could argue MLP overuses that too but MLP was ABOUT friendship)

-Luz, Eda, and King's expressions when The Collector hugs Belos is so funny tho. Literally just 👁👄👁

-I literally screamed at Luz's sacrifice. S C R E A M E D.

-Gaster Blaster Belos Real

-"Eda, King, looks like we're going to be split up again. I feel like I should be used to this feeling by now, but I still dont know what to say" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-I like that Luz becomes lights. Not only was the light glyph the first one she learned but her name literally means light.

-Eda, King, and Luz are such a found family I love them

-"I should have thanked them" SCREAMING AND CRYING

-I love that King's dad basically said "Fuck gender"

-I also love that he has a bad girls coven shirt

-Eda makes alchoholic apple blood confirmed?

-Titan Luz is so gender

-Camila best mom

-LET. ME. HUG. THE. COLLECTOR. DAMN IT.

-Luz and King doing the WEH together is so fucking cute.

-For some reason I thought Luz was gonna die again when the titan magic was fading. Like I thought that was keeping her alive.

-Anyone gonna talk about the fact Eda gave Raine a little kiss when saving them from the Belos goop

-the entire episode was so anime but the fight scene between Titan Luz and Belos was just anime as fuck and the smooth animation makes it even better

-"NOW EAT THIS SUCKA" IT ALL COMES FULL CIRCLE

-Look at how fuckin anime this is I love it so much

-Luz looks so badass btw idk if I mentioned that

-Belos trying to bullshit his way out of this and Luz having NONE OF IT is so great. I hat the "[insert curse/supernatural thing] made me do it so im innocent" trope if it's done poorly or with a character like Belos. Love that they smashed that into the ground with Luz having fucking none of it.

-LOOK AT HOW BADASS AND GENDER SHE LOOKS I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS

-I AM SO GLAD BELOS HAD A GRUESOME DEATH THAT WAS SO SATISFYING.

-I like the touch that Titan Luz isnt affected by the boiling rain

-King's dad is A PUN MASTER

-the reuniting. oh my titan the reuniting. I cried. Gus doing a little illusion with his dad, Amity hugging Alador (with Odalia rightfully in the sidelines), Hunter telling Darius about wolves, Willow and her dads!

-Darius and Eber so want to beat the shit out of Terra, Vitmir, and Adrien.

-Camila pulling Eda and King into a hug with Luz is just. YES.

-Yassified Hooty go brrr

-King giving The Collector Francois was so sweet

-All the kids as adults are so fucking gender. GIVE ME YOUR GENDER.

-All the photos on Luz's bulletin board are so amazing. Especially the one with Hooty dropping from a tree that one made me laugh so hard. Also the Bi Pride pin next to the graduation photo was amazing.

-"Stringbean's Corner" AWWWE

-ik im doing two screenshots in a row but LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF STRINGBEAN

-When I tell you I screamed with joy when I saw there was a working permanent portal to the Boiling Isles I mean I SCREAMED WITH JOY

-I love Willow's leaf headband. It just fits her so well.

-I love that Hunter is a palismen carver and carved a Blue Jay to be his new palismen (according to Dana on twt the name of the palismen is Waffle. I love it.), but I also love that Hunter was (or maybe still is) Dell's apprentice by the looks of things

-The grave for Flapjack made me sob. And then the "Thank you for finding me" on it im just. I need a moment.

-HARPY LILITH HARPY LILITH

-Also I just realized now they all have matching Flapjack tattoos. Im gonna cry you guys.

-The way Darius just slides over after shaking Alador is the most tsundere anime thing ever.

-Theres a little abomination in Alador's pocket :0

-Raine with white hair is actually so fucking cool

-Gus looks so cool you cannot tell me otherwise.

-Everyone thought Eda would have like a robotic/abomination arm but no SHE HAS A HOOK AND IT'S AWESOME

-King had a growth spurt lets go!

-The quinceanera being called a king-cenera is just perfect. King is mastering the art of puns just like his father.

-King having his own glyph shapes is just perfect I love it!

-Collector making fireworks shooting stars is amazing

-THEY DID THE HUNTER "BYEEE" TO BOTH THE COLLECTOR AND US

Im going to miss toh. It was one of the best shows Ive ever watched.

Edit: I hat the new post editor istg

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rnisa · 2 years ago

Note

In a hypothetical scenario, the FMAB homunculi (including Father) sit down and watch Death Note. Who enjoys it the most and who dislikes it the most, and why?

I want you to know this ask singlehandedly made my entire year. Congratulations, you've done it, you've asked me something combining both of my biggest interests ♥ I love you, anon! I tried to list them in order of how old they are but I googled it and just went with the first result so the possibilities of this being accurate are none.

The Homunculi and Father watching Death Note

Father

Father is the biggest fucking boomer next to Hoenheim, minus the human interaction, love, and warmth. So think of him as your angry obnoxious neighbor next door. Father refuses to take part in most of humanity's creations - including TV. Envy I think, kissass as he is, would try and get Father to watch it. Father would refuse naturally, but he'd hear his children watching it...and listen in. He'd find himself relating to Kira fairly well, scorning his arrogance (ironically) and his reliance on others (ironically). Overall he'd probably be amused by it and probably get sucked in.

Pride

Pride, like Fart-ther, would also find this human mumbo jumbo beneath him. However, he would definitely "love" it as Selim Bradley. He would honestly just sit down and watch it - anything beats "kids" shows. God, can you imagine Selim having to pretend to like Peppa Pig or something? So nah, if he has to play "human" he'd rather watch something decent and adult. So he'd beg his mom to see it and she'd let him for a while, with Bradley's approval. She would most definitely turn it off the moment it gets too violent and she catches it though. Selim would be mildly interested.

Lust

Lust would actually enjoy it. She'd find Light intriguing and adore him for the manipulative clusterfuck that he is. She would certainly complain that there isn't enough of him slutting around, and she hoped it would be more of a "romantic tragedy" ... until she realizes, it is. She becomes a Light x Misa x Takada x Mikami shipper (one big team kira orgy) as well as a Rem x Misa shipper. She's pretty satisfied with how the show ends. Lust gets a bit inspired after the aesthetic of the Shinigami and Misa (the whole gothic vibe). She feels especially badly for the Shinigami, especially when Rem sacrifices herself for Misa.

Greed

Let us be so completely for real here, Greed hates Light. We know Greed loves his friends as if they were his own possessions, and seeing Light just treat the people around him as tools with no concern for their well-being annoys him. Greed tries to watch the show but struggles in the first few episodes, and he won't shut up about how much of a pussy little bitch Light is. He eventually gets forced into at least getting to the first time L confronts him but is unimpressed. He doesn't grasp why L doesn't just pull a glock out of his ass to shoot Kira. Greed decides to watch Gurren Lagaan instead.

Envy

Getting the obvious out of the way, things are really awkward when they get to the scene with Gelus. Like. No need to really expand, they die almost similarly (though Envy out of anger and hate, Gelus because he is a simp in love) and if Envy had less homicidal tendencies and were more pathetic, he'd probably have found himself in a similar spot. He feels called out and offended during that scene, but he was enjoying the show just fine up until then...and after, that scene just hit a rare nerve. Otherwise, he loves the show. Any time humans are torn apart and fighting the shit out of eachother, he's happy, so he enjoys the shitstorms Light stirs up.

Sloth

Sorry I quite honestly do not give a shitting fuck about FMAB Sloth. He watches it because he is too lazy to change the channel. Why does he even exist. FMA03 Sloth is superior ♥

Gluttony

Gluttony is also a simple character but actually I find him cute (minus being a cannibal and all?) but his favorite character is Ryuk. For one, he finds it silly when Ryuk goes through his apple withdrawals, but two, he just loves how goofy he looks. Gluttony, when he's not trying to inhale humans like a bucket of KFC, is simple-minded and childish. I don't think he'd watch Death Note because there's too much talking and not enough action. He would rather watch something cute with bright colors like Bluey.

King Bradley

Also a boomer, but unlike Father, Bradley would give the show an honest go. I don't think he would "get it", but he would find it entertaining. Bradley would rather read the books (LABB / LCTW) and call it a day. He finds the show interesting but wishes they'd just "get to the point". He does not like Light as a protagonist because Bradley is an old crotchety man and doesn't have a singular fuck to give of Light's arrogance and shennanigans. A good show for Bradley would be...Seinfeld. Criminal Minds.

#death note #fullmetal alchemist #fmab #anon #ask #request #thank you besite

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scripted-downfall · 2 years ago

Note

Do you have a favorite ghost from Thir13en Ghosts? Which one do you consider to be the most terrifying and/or tragic?

ANON. You're amazing. I- alkdsjflksfdj I love this question. Thank you!!! (I confess that I'm possibly cheating in my initial answer to your questions, but I'll give a follow-up afterwards that more directly answers each one.)

Dennis, my beloved. Hands-down, both my favorite and most tragic. (He's not one of the 12/13, which is why it technically might be cheating, but he does show up as a ghost at one point in the movie, so I think it still counts.) He spent his entire life exiled from people, both self-imposed --- since actual interaction with anyone or anything triggered his visions --- and unwilling (treated as a freak by pretty much everyone). He gets a job working for Cyrus and wants acceptance enough that he tells himself the man's a friend, but Kriticos is using him the entire time, as well as depriving him of medication in pursuit of his ghosts. He has the makings of a friendship with Arthur who knows about his visions and doesn't treat him like a freak, right up until he finds out about Jean being in the house and does a complete 180. And then he dies in an act of self-sacrifice, protecting someone he only just met, by two of the most up-close-and-personal ghosts in the house (e.g. likely the most painful for him, both physically and psychically). It's a horrible storyline, and he deserved better.

BUT. Since I suspect you meant of the 13... This is much harder to me because they're all so tragic. I rewatch the ghost files every time I put on the film, and I'm impressed every time by how well-developed is the tragedy alkdsfj

That being said. Favorite: The Jackal. His character design is awesome, and he was definitely the most terrifying, to me, when I first watched the film, given his ghost's unpredictability and volatility. (I still remember the sense of oh, damn, shit just got real when Dennis sees that his cube is open and stresses how bad it is.) Also, if I recall correctly --- I just watched the film again, but I could still be wrong --- he is the only ghost that is successful in attacking every time he shows up. He also has really awesome attack scenes, flickering in and out of visibility; I also still remember how damn creepy it was to see the wild slashing from an unseen attacker, or Kathy hovering in the air in that tug-of-war-esque scene. His guitar solo soundtrack was awesome, and it definitely caught my attention; additionally, the screams that serve as his whisper/motif throughout the film were haunting (hah, literally). His backstory has a noble tragedy to it; he recognized that he needed help and went to try to get treatment, and --- once he'd given up on the success of that, driven insane by the atrocious conditions there --- stayed behind when the fire broke out. It's not fair, but none of their stories were, and his just... caught my attention and never left. (To be clear, I'm not trying to say he deserved the treatment there, or staying behind to die. I'm just saying that there's a nobility to the fact that he made that choice himself because he didn't want to hurt people.) And, finally, I have a fondness for the House on Haunted Hill clip that worked its way into his ghost file clips, so that's a bit of a bonus.

Most tragic: The Hammer. I'm not trying to downplay any of the ghosts' backstories because, again, they're all very tragic --- I just talked about that for the Jackal, and the Angry Princess bears mentioning too --- but I feel like his take the cake. The unjust accusation was bad enough, but what they did to his family? And then the absolutely atrocious frontier justice? It's absolutely devastating, and his was always one of the stories that I felt was most heartbreaking. (But, again, they all had elements of that. Not one of them escaped the tragedy of it all, and that's kinda the point.)

I hope that answers the question! I absolutely love this film --- and most horror movies --- so I'm loving these horror-related asks; thank you to the person or people who keep(s) sending them in!! Thank you, and all the best until next time!

#answered asks #scripted downfall asks answered

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bookoformon · 7 months ago

Text

Ether 14: 17-25. "The Fret."

The Morons and the Heartfelt go to war over the influences of a secret combination on the people. The Prophet blames someone called Shiz for this, "Shit smell" which he says is the brother of the Heart. Siblings are notoriously competitive and do not get along but they are not supposed to bring the house down:

17 Now the name of the brother of Lib was called Shiz. And it came to pass that Shiz pursued after Coriantumr, and he did overthrow many cities, and he did slay both women and children, and he did burn the cities.

18 And there went a fear of Shiz throughout all the land; yea, a cry went forth throughout the land—Who can stand before the army of Shiz? Behold, he sweepeth the earth before him!

19 And it came to pass that the people began to flock together in armies, throughout all the face of the land.

20 And they were divided; and a part of them fled to the army of Shiz, and a part of them fled to the army of Coriantumr.

21 And so great and lasting had been the war, and so long had been the scene of bloodshed and carnage, that the whole face of the land was covered with the bodies of the dead.

22 And so swift and speedy was the war that there was none left to bury the dead, but they did march forth from the shedding of blood to the shedding of blood, leaving the bodies of both men, women, and children strewed upon the face of the land, to become a prey to the worms of the flesh.

23 And the scent thereof went forth upon the face of the land, even upon all the face of the land; wherefore the people became troubled by day and by night, because of the scent thereof.

24 Nevertheless, Shiz did not cease to pursue Coriantumr; for he had sworn to avenge himself upon Coriantumr of the blood of his brother, who had been slain, and the word of the Lord which came to Ether that Coriantumr should not fall by the sword.

25 And thus we see that the Lord did visit them in the fulness of his wrath, and their wickedness and abominations had prepared a way for their everlasting destruction.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 22: And so swift and speedy was the war. Once wars start, they might seem fast to mortal man who passes his time without a care, but wars never really end, they just die down. This is what is meant by worms eating flesh. Unless the sentiment of war is killed altogether, wars will always be a part of our lives.

The Value in Gematria is 11461, יאדוא‎ , yadua, "without the Holy Spirit, you are going to do it again."

v. 23: And the scent thereof went forth upon the face of the land, even upon all the face of the land. The Value in Gematria is 8498, ח‎ד‎טח‎‎, haddah, "take my advice."

Smells always go in the ears. The smell of death = the fact these people could not listen to the Holy Ghost in the scripture and disobeyed God and took slaves from Africa and then fought tooth and nail to keep them.

v. 24: He had sworn to avenge himself upon Coriantumr of the blood of his brother, who had been slain, and the word of the Lord which came to Ether that Coriantumr should not fall by the sword.

Ether means "sacred place". In Torah Time, places are also incidents. So a place is made sacred by the experiences of sacred things. To sacrifice and shed blood is to grossly fail in comprehension of the Torah and God's purposes for human life, and God said, "the innocent shall not fall by the sword.'

The Value in Gematria is 11581, יאהחא‎, yahya, "what will be..."

v. 25: And thus we see that the Lord did visit them in the fulness of his wrath, and prepared a way for their everlasting destruction.

NOW no one believes God is going to reach out of heaven and shove a burning hot pitchfork right up the assholes of the wicked. No one really believes in heaven or hell, they treat the Torah and the Bible as a ethical fables designed to teach man morality.

That puts ordinary law enforcement in a difficult position because it means it must be taken seriously and as we know it is almost certainly not taken seriously. The world is disintegrating because no one thinks the rules apply to them. This includes natural laws.

The Value in Gematria is 10413, ידאג‎, "be concerned, be anxious, fret."

"Without illumination by the Holy Ghost, you are hopeless. Take my advice. You should worry about the things you do."

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holiday-house-of-m · 1 year ago

Text

Wait... where the fuck is Pietro?? I hope Ward didn't kill him already...

[“It was the deer woman.” ... “She told me to.”] - 👀👀👀

[“All I'm saying is we should listen to both sides...and one is dead.] - How can they not see that R was a victim of his hands?? Not to mention the cut on Wanda's leg

[if you don't believe me, just look at Y/N's face.”] - Yes! There we go, she should mention that. How can they be so stupid

[Pietro came over] - Oh, good, he's alive

Aww no Monica died 😕

[Y/N and the girls looked at each other, knowing that this would bring nothing but madness.] - *sighs* who are they going to try and kill first...?

Is R gonna start killing them because they're gonna sacrifice one of them...?

The eight that voted for it should be the ones to draw a card, why should the others have to go along with it...

[Gathered in the attic ... were Wanda, Natasha, Yelena, Jules, Pietro and Jennifer.] - I'm glad they're hiding away. They better keep that sacrificial shit between the crazies

Nevermind, I guess...

What's with the set-up 😂

[“Do it or it will be you.”] - Oh, fuck off...

Nah wtf

Wtf

How is it Wanda??

[“I volunteer!”] - Oh no...

I know they don't die but this is so traumatising...

I feel like they purposely put the card in place where Wanda would get it 😔

But they want to get rid of R because everyone listens to her

Carol redeemed herself 😔

Sharon and Helen are fucking crazy

Pietro is too good for this world

[that decision would cost him dearly.] - No... he's not allowed to die...

[If they wanted to survive, they had to try.] - You can't end that section like that 😔 Is Pietro still alive...?

Natasha should get a free shot at punching Vision. That's only fair

[Y/N placed a hand on Wanda's back, as a sign of support. But that made their friends look at them curiously.] - Hehehe

Time to tell them that they've kissed (more than kissed) and made up

[“What we did…” Jules began somewhat thoughtfully. “It's not easy, for none of it was.”] - Right... maybe not the right time...

[they all remained silent for a moment, remembering her brother.] - 😔

[attacking Y/N with pillows, laughing.] - This is such a cute moment

[“You bitches. You finally did it.”] - They did it!

[“I'm so proud of you, Y/N. Mom would be too.”] - Awwwww

[something won't let me forget what I did there. Fucking Ward.”] - Fucking Ward...

This moment between Jules and R is so sweet

Godparent?? Cute!

[Finally everything started to go well, right?] - Why is that a question?? I don't like that question there 👀

This is so cute

I'm so afraid for what might happen

[Y/N and Wanda slept peacefully for a few hours until a screeching sound interrupted them.] - Oh no...

[cry in silence.] - Noooo

Booooo

What have you done??

WISH YOU WERE HERE - WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEMALE READER

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Summary: 17 years ago, a New Jersey high school girls’ soccer team travels to Seattle for a national tournament. While flying over Canada, their plane crashes deep in the wilderness, and the surviving team members are left stranded for nineteen months. Based on Yellowjackets

Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

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THIS CHAPTER HAS SERIOUS WARNINGS: +18 Angst, death, violence, blood, mentions of abuse and allusion to anthropophagy -cannibalism- if you squint; minors dni. Please, as I said before, this is going to be harder on this chapter. And I'm responsible for letting you know that, but if you don't like it, you can choose not to read it. Or skip the 'BEFORE' and go to the 'NOW'. ㅤㅤ

Author's Notes: I must clarify again, all of them are 18 years old or more. Many characters -not the main ones- will not survive, and some will act in a way that is not okay. That doesn't mean I hate them or I don't like them. I just need the story to make sense.

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CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN FINALE

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER SEVEN

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ㅤㅤBEFORE

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That night marked the beginning of one of the worst moments of their lives. The horror got worse when they came back to the cabin, found the worst scene they could have imagined.

Many of the girls were on a completely psychedelic and dangerous trip due to the intake of alcohol and hallucinogenic mushrooms. Others didn't seem to have survived the overdose. ㅤㅤ

Natasha ran over to Yelena when she saw her throwing up in the bushes, Kate standing next to her, completely pale. The blonde didn’t stop crying and vomiting, kneeling next to the body of her girlfriend, her best friend, her soulmate. She was gone. ㅤㅤ

The night that should have been special, turned into a nightmare that many couldn't easily overcome.

ㅤㅤ

“How did you know where to find us?” Y/N asked Jules, trying to be strong when Wanda cleaned her face so she wouldn't have infections. Y/N had a severe cut over her swollen eyebrow, cheekbone, and lip. Two huge bruises in the rib area.

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Those who were feeling better were trying to get over the nasty hangover. While those who didn’t seem to be very well, were in the kitchen.

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“It was the deer woman.” Jules murmured almost imperceptibly, covering herself with a blanket. She felt awful chills, trying not to pass out from hunger and dehydration. “She told me to.”

ㅤㅤ

They all looked at each other not knowing what to say. Half of them were high, so they weren't going to judge her, but Y/N, Wanda and Natasha seemed pretty worried.

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Yelena frowned. “The fuck are you talking about?”

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Jules kept her blank gaze. “She said that she hates mischievous evil man… and and- I did it-”

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“What does that mean?” Nat asked this time, it was strange that Jules was the only one who managed to hear that ‘voice’.

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“I DON’T KNOW, I WAS DRUGGED!” Jules finally snapped and then began to cry. It felt horrible, and they all seemed to want to know the reason for everything. Except for Wanda, who seemed grateful.

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“Guys, you're asking too many questions and some of them can't even put two words together.” Wanda tried to bring peace. “She just saved us.”

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“She just… YOU WERE HIGH WITH FUCKING MUSHROOMS!” Hope moved closer to Jules, not in a very nice way. “You killed someone because you were high! You killed our coach! The only adult who could guide us in this madness!”

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“Hey, don't talk to her like that!” Natasha stood up and pointed at the girl, making her step back. “You were too while you were drooling the ground like a fucking worm.”

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“I killed him because he was going to do something to Wanda!” Jules sniffed, a little surprised that Nat stood up for her.

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“Well, we don't know now how it was because the Coach is dead!” Sharon huffed, but those words earned everyone's attention. ㅤㅤ

“Excuse me? Are you saying that I'm lying?” Wanda frowned, leaving that towel aside. Y/N was about to get up and hit Sharon, but didn’t because Wanda placed a hand on her shoulder.

ㅤㅤ

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” Y/N screamed anyway, feeling a shooting pain due to the swelling.

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“All I'm saying is we should listen to both sides...and one is dead. Chopped. TWICE.” Sharon shook her head, perhaps a bit sorry for her words or perhaps she still believed in that.

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“I was there, he wanted to…” Wanda swallowed hard. “h-he wanted to do things against my will... And if you don't believe me, just look at Y/N's face.”

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Y/N sighed deeply, trying to calm down. She was furious, especially with herself. Feeling so guilty and angry, how did she let him touch Wanda? How had she been so useless? She couldn't protect her.

ㅤㅤ

FIVE DAYS LATER

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Things didn't seem to improve between them, much less in survival. According to Jennifer, they have been there for three months now, and now winter has arrived. It could be seen in their faces, their bodies, and their spirits.

ㅤㅤ

Their lips dry and cut due to the cold, they were kept warm thanks to the fire that was lit all day. And sometimes even the blankets weren't helpful.

The worst came when some of them began to have flu symptoms, they were treated in the attic but without any kind of help, the condition progressed to pneumonia and died.

ㅤㅤ

The loss of those girls created a massive rift in them. The ones who believed that what happened to Jules had some kind of epiphany, and who just believed that it had been pure coincidence.

Strangely, those who first criticized her later began to treat her differently.

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Wanda sighed deeply and looked at the water in the bucket. Her pale hands turned red as she began to scrub the clothes. She didn't know why she did that, maybe because she didn't want to freeze to death in a corner. It was just water, they didn't even have soap anymore.

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“Are you okay?” Y/N knew it was the stupidest question she could ask, but did it anyway. Wanda was far from being okay, like all the other girls.

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Y/N was coming back from the day's hunt, which wasn't a hunt but more like wandering through the cold woods and looking for something to eat.

Her face was still hurt, although the swelling gradually disappeared, those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too., those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too., those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too.

ㅤㅤ

She took Wanda's hands, completely reddish from the cold, and caressed them to keep them warm.

Y/N knew that Wanda was having a difficult few days after Ward attacked her. Although the brunette tried to hide it, Y/N knew that the sadness inside was increasing. Nobody deserved to go through that.

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“Yeah, I'm just doing some laundry for myself.” Wanda only kept her gaze lowered, hadn't been feeling well for days. “I don't like keep on wearing the same clothes, even if it's stupid and doesn't make sense.”

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“Makes all the sense in the world, okay?” Y/N smiled tenderly and caressed her cheek, making Wanda look up. But even though those expressive green eyes could show all the love she felt inside, Y/N could also see the sadness and fear.

ㅤㅤ “I’m scared, detka.” Wanda said in a shaky voice, about to cry. Although she tried to be positive, everything seemed to get worse. “I don't want to die.”

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“I won't let anything happen to you.” Y/N said worriedly, cradling Wanda's face in her hands.

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“I want to do so many things, you know? I want to go out with you on a nice date, I want to visit New York too.” The sokovian finally cried. “I want to tell everyone that I love you…”

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“Wands…” she whispered; Y/N's vision was clouded by tears.

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“I want us to go to dinner with my parents, because I know they will adore you. And- and I want to live, I don’t want to die here.” Wanda finally burst into tears, hugging her girlfriend tightly.

Y/N just closed her eyes, allowing the brunette to cry for a while. ㅤㅤ

However, when she looked up to look out the window, Y/N could only see something beautiful and terrifying at the same time. It was snowing, and that could only mean the worst.

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ㅤ

Tired of listening to how some of them argued with each other, the redhead decided to go out for a moment even though it was cold. Nat left the cabin and noticed how Jules was wrapped in a blanket, watching the trees. “Hey… It's cold here.”

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But Jules didn't even answer.

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“It’s snowing…” Nat continued even though the dark-haired girl still ignored her. Snowflakes fell again and again, sealing their fates. “It used to be something beautiful.”

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“I just want to be alone.” Jules murmured, settling in between the covers.

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“It's understandable when you've got fifteen girls in there talking for three months.” Nat smirked. She was trying to be nice to Jules, for the first time.

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Natasha just sat next to her, but far from making the brunette's heart race as so many times before, Jules just kept her gaze on the trees. Lost. ㅤㅤ

“Half of them think I'm special or something, and it just freaks me out. I'm sick of it.” Jules swallowed, she hadn't been the same since the Doomcoming. “Half of them thinks I'm crazy… Maybe I am, I don't know what to think anymore.”

ㅤㅤ

Natasha turned to see her, a warm look this time. “You saved the girls, that's what matters.”

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“I can't think about it, only the blood on my hands.” The lump in her throat made it difficult for her to speak. “And every time I get colder and hungrier. We are.”

ㅤㅤ

She turned to see Nat, both of them sharing a moment and a necessary connection.

For the first time, Natasha felt like wrapping her arms around Jules and not letting her go. Maybe because she felt that Jules wasn't looking at her the way she used to, and that affected her.

But the cabin door opened and a blonde came out of the house, walking towards them. Carol was holding a book, quite dusty.

ㅤㅤ

“Jules, come here. You must see this.” The blonde took Jules's hand and pulled her; Carol seemed more excited than the girl. They all entered the cabin again. ㅤㅤ

“Easy, Danvers. What are you talking about?” Natasha frowned, noting that Jules didn't seem to want to but she did it anyway.

ㅤㅤ

“We found this book behind some old wood in the attic, under where we found the symbol, remember? The rare symbol under the guy's corpse.” Carol exclaimed excitedly. “You are the link with what surrounds us, with the wilderness. That horned or deer woman whatever, it’s… it’s the wilderness.”

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They all seemed quite confused, especially Y/N who was coming out of the kitchen with Wanda.

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“I’m not-” Jules said, her lips twitching uncomfortably. “I was just hallucinating.”

ㅤㅤ

“We found this in the stuff of the guy who lived here.” Helen Cho picked up the book and brought it closer so they could read it. Jennifer looked at it a bit skeptically.

ㅤㅤ

‘Deer Woman and the Myth…’ Jennifer couldn't finish reading what it said, the book was destroyed by mold. ㅤㅤ “It says here that the deer woman hunts men who have hurt women or children. She punishes them. See?” Helen and Carol looked excited. “It's what happened to you!”

ㅤㅤ

“That's not what happened.” Jules frowned, already more tired of all this. She's sick of everyone expecting something different than what it really was. “I killed Ward, I was high, that fucker was abusing one of my friends, that’s it.”

ㅤㅤ

“Yes, but-”

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“You both are taking this too far! This is just a stupid book full of myths and legends.” Natasha finally intervened between them.

ㅤㅤ

“Well, I do wanna know what it says there.” Sharon stepped forward, crossing her arms, ready to face them.

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“A lot of stuff in French but-” Helen muttered, opening the book and pointing to several old yellow pages. “It looks like the guy wrote some things at the bottom of the book.”

ㅤㅤ

“…‘she… it wants blood’.” She tried to translate the French, narrowing her eyes. “Spill blood and you will get what you want. Something like that.”

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“That’s creepy.” Yelena frowned, walking away from that book. ㅤㅤ

Pietro came over to take the book and look at it, those girls were definitely starting to lose their minds. “I knew that guy was up to no good. Burn this now if you don't want to go crazy.”

ㅤㅤ

“But if you think about it, he's right. The guy.” Carol tried to convince them, or perhaps convince herself to believe in something before giving up and die there.

ㅤㅤ

“What are you talking about?” Y/N finally snapped. “He killed himself!”

ㅤㅤ Wanda stayed by her side, watching everything.

ㅤㅤ

“No, but... Every time someone dies, the wilderness rewards us with something.” Helen seemed so excited about it, she looked crazier than usual and that was already a lot. She used to be quite a quiet girl. “When Ward and the girls died, that boar came to us and let you kill it, remember? We ate for days… When Monica died of pneumonia a month ago, that flock of birds crashed into our cabin.”

ㅤㅤ

The mention of Monica made Pietro clench his fists, but he said nothing. Just let the others take over.

ㅤㅤ

“That was pure coincidence!” Y/N chuckled wryly, couldn't believe what she was hearing. “We were lucky! That’s it!”

ㅤㅤ

“You don’t know that!” Sharon snapped. “Maybe we should give that thing more deaths to feed us.”

ㅤㅤ

“What the fuck, Sharon?!” Natasha's eyes widened. She went too far.

ㅤㅤ

“Have you gone completely crazy?” Y/N yelled, several seemed quite surprised or pissed by the blonde's words, others not so much.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm starving, and don't act like everyone doesn't think the same!” The blonde reached out to take the book from her friend's hands and pointed at them. “We are weak, we barely manage to wake up in the morning and get more wood!”

ㅤㅤ

“Yelena can't even catch a fucking fish, you're closer to catching a cold-” Hope added.

ㅤㅤ

“сука! The lake is fucking frozen!” Yelena yelled angrily, also insulting her in Russian.

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“It's winter, the lake froze over and we haven't eaten anything but bug or belt soup for a fucking week. A FUCKING LEATHER BELT.” Sharon got fed up and took off, going up to the attic. Many girls followed after them, clearly choosing a side.

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Y/N and the girls looked at each other, knowing that this would bring nothing but madness.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed deeply, feeling how the cold froze every part of her skin. They were lucky to have a few furs and clothes to survive outside for at least a few hours. Their noses and sensitive parts of their faces were red and bruised from the cold. Nat walked beside her, trying to brush away the snow as they walked through the trees.

ㅤㅤ

“They're acting strange.” Y/N whispered, Natasha loaded the rifle ready to shoot whatever they saw.

ㅤㅤ

“I know. What Sharon said yesterday... they're losing their minds.” The redhead wrinkled her nose and pointed towards one of the trees, thinking that maybe it was a bird but then she noticed that it was just leafs. “Fuck! We all are. I thought that was a damn bird.”

ㅤㅤ

“I don't know what's wrong with them but if Sharon looks at me like that again, I'm going to throw her off a cliff.” Y/N growled, climbing a huge rock to observe some movement around them, but only saw snow and trees.

ㅤㅤ

“We’re hungry. We need to eat protein, and it's already started to snow. Yelena can't fish anymore, and we can't find anything.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N looked worried. Natasha was always their leader, ever since she joined the team. If she didn't know what to do, then they were lost. “What are we going to do?”

ㅤㅤ

“I don’t know.” Nat looked at her sadly, there were only a few more hours to walk before the sunlight went out.

ㅤㅤ

Hours later, both returned to the cabin completely exhausted and discouraged. They had found nothing, not even a wretched worm to catch.

They all looked at them hopefully, like every afternoon, but they did not bring empty hands.

ㅤㅤ

“You’re okay?” Wanda asked quickly, reaching out to help them remove their clothes and move them closer to the fire. They could take a hot bath in the tub with water that they heated on the firewood, but sometimes it was better to only do it in extreme cases.

ㅤㅤ

But Sharon intervened, arms folded, growing weary. “AND? Did you get anything?”

ㅤㅤ

Neither said anything, they simply kept their gazes on the flames that flared as much as Sharon's anger. Y/N shook her head.

ㅤㅤ

“I see you guys come back empty-handed like the losers you are, and I thought you couldn't be more useless.” The blonde spat, moving from one side to another like a caged animal. Now it wasn't just Sharon, but some of the girls. “You two are death itself.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you want to say it to my face? Huh?” Y/N finally snapped, rushing towards her but Nat stopped her. “I’ll fucking kill you! I'm done with you!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do it, PLEASE, at least we would have something to eat!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The screams drew everyone's attention, who came into the room worried. Natasha kept trying to stop Y/N, but Sharon made it pretty difficult by saying that stupid thing. “Don’t say that! What the hell is going on with you?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We already tried your options, and it got us nowhere. You two go hunting every day and come back empty-handed.” Some girls nodded.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It's hard when there's nothing but damn snow!” Y/N huffed. “The river is frozen-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We have nothing else to eat but the bones of the birds that crashed into the cabin, and I'm sick of dead bird soup!” Sharon spat out the poison, turning to look at the others. “This is fair… Who thinks we should try our option now?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sharon, I understand that you always wanted to be the center of attention, but shut up already.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We have already tried, letting you go hunting and they have not brought anything.” This time it was Carol who said that, surprising her friends especially Y/N and Jules. “Maybe it's time to try something new.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean, Carol? You can't be serious.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Someone has to die.” Helen held up the book, pointing to the pages.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just opened her eyes wide, unable to believe what she was saying. She just shook her head, taking Y/N's arm to calm her down.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re insane.” Jules laughed wryly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can't do this, it's madness.” Natasha giggled sarcastically, she really couldn't believe the stupidity and ignorance she was hearing. “It's an old book by a fucking suicidal guy! doesn't it tell you something?!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry? Have we gone back to the time where we had to sacrifice people?” Wanda said annoyed and disgusted just thinking about it. “Have we gone that far?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, you tell me, four-eyes. We are heating water in pots and living by candlelight.” Sharon hissed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I TOLD YOU DON'T CALL HER THAT!” Y/N pushed her, Sharon responded in the same way until they were all separated again. Pietro seemed to hold back, keeping to a corner. If Y/N hit her, he would be very proud.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone, choose NOW.” Sharon pointed at everyone. “I'm sick of useless leaders. We are less and less, and the most coherent way is for one of us to sacrifice herself for the others, going away.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jennifer put a hand to her face, trying not to hit her for the nonsense she was saying. Y/N, Wanda and the others were the same. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Helen nodded. “When wolves know that they are going to die, they know they are a burden to the pack. They just go away to die alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We're not a pack of wolves.” Nat added, rolling her eyes and putting her hands on her waist.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is the way we'll do it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sharon… you’re going insane.” Y/N moved closer until she was in front of the blonde, but Sharon just looked at her with enormous anger and envy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“YOU ALL. Vote right now, who wants to keep eating bug soup or do something about it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

First, they were all quite doubtful whether to do it or not. They didn't want to cause more trouble, but at the insistence of both, they began to raise their hands.

Those who wanted to keep following Y/N and Natasha, or who wanted to try Sharon and Helen's way. They were seven against eight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Oh no.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned, seeing how some of them looked at her with pity but they had already decided, betraying them. The last one to give the final vote to them was Carol.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Good.” Sharon smiled. “We'll make it easy. Pass me the deck.”

ㅤㅤ

The blonde took the deck of cards that Hope gave her and showed them one of the cards. The Queen of Hearts. “We will take a card, and the one that draws the Queen of hearts... is the one who must go and face the wilderness.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha chuckled wryly, shaking her head. Really hurt by how crazy they were getting. “Oh, you guys had everything planned out perfectly while we were away, didn't you?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I understand that being hungry can make you all impulsive and reduce your fucking ability to make decisions in the long run, but this is wrong.” Y/N added.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She took Wanda's hand to get away from that group and go up to the attic, feeling enormous pain for their betrayal. “So fucking wrong.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ

Gathered in the attic and illuminated by a gas lamp, Y/N looked at the door before approaching her friends. There were Wanda, Natasha, Yelena, Jules, Pietro and Jennifer.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is crazy.” Y/N whispered, watching them with concern. “We must stop them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha sighed. “What do you suggest to do?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is my fault, they're crazy because of what I said when I was on mushies. I'm sorry.” Jules mumbled, her gaze completely lost.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is not your fault. Hunger is having a serious effect on them, it’s affecting them psychologically." Wanda leaned over to take the girl's hand, squeezing it softly. Thanks to Jules she was alive, she didn't care if was dancing naked to some weird god while she was high, Jules saved them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They're planning to kill us one by one.” Jennifer glanced at the attic door out of the corner of her eye, a little worried. “They were our friends.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not mine, tho. They hated me a little.” Wanda scrunched her nose.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Maybe they're just bluffing.” Y/N just closed her eyes, completely stressed and in pain.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don’t know…” Natasha narrowed her eyes. “Remove the bullets from the rifle… None of them are to be trusted now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

That small group looked at each other and nodded.

The world is a vampire, sent to drain.

Gathered in a circle, they all looked at each other in front of the cabin. That place where long ago they had celebrated together, laughed and danced.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The cold began to burn their skin while Helen brought the book, the others carried the skull of the deer they hunted that first time. Like a divine message, inside the cabin, the fireplace burned fiercer than ever.

Y/N and Natasha looked at each other worriedly. This was insane.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We need to find a way to stay alive.” Helen said and lit one of the candles on the skull. Carol brought that deck of cards to which they whispered: ‘We hear The Wilderness and it hears us.’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is fucked up.” Y/N whispered, but no one paid attention.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda settled next to her, holding her hand tightly and Pietro's on the other side.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Carol held up the queen of hearts card for everyone to see, then arranged it in the deck, shuffling it well so it would get lost among the others.

Now everything depends on luck or wilderness.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Carol pulled out her card, followed by Sharon and Helen, who pulled out others. Neither was the queen and that made them sigh. The blonde approached Natasha, who just snorted.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do it or it will be you.” Sharon ruled, approaching with a menacing look. Swallowing, the redhead looked at her with a deathly glare and took a card. It took her a few seconds to show it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Eigh of spades.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Next was Jules, who with trembling hands took the card and looked at it before showing it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Five of diamonds.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette sighed and Carol approached each of them, who were taking a card until she reached Y/N. Keeping her gaze up, Y/N walked over to take a card.

Before looking at it, she clenched her jaw and lifted it up.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Ace of Clubs.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The girl just swallowed and handed the card back to Carol, staring at her. The blonde seemed so guilty, couldn’t even keep her gaze on her friend.

The sokovian smiled and exhaled leaving that fear, feeling an enormous release when she saw that Y/N was safe.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The next one was Wanda, who moved a little nervously but Y/N smiled slightly at her, trying to make the girl feel safe.

Before everyone's gaze, who looked like enormous birds of prey, Wanda inhaled deeply and took the card from the deck, closing her eyes and praying she wasn't next. When she turned the card over, Wanda knew that the die was cast.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Queen of Hearts.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N's body tensed upon seeing the card, when it fell to the ground because Wanda's hands began to shake.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Half of them gasped while others looked at her like she was dinner.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is the way we all made the deal.” Sharon closed the book and walked over with the hunting knife, handing it to Carol. “You can submit or you can run.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The fuck?!” Natasha stepped forward, as did her friends, shielding her. Pietro stepped in front of his sister, about to go at whoever it was. But even though they tried, the other girls surrounded them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Especially when Sharon raised the rifle, pointing it at Pietro’s chest. “It’s what we all agreed on. Stay away or I will shoot.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“That rifle has no bullets.” Y/N scoffed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“There's one on the rifle, one on my pocket… that I took before you guys went hunting yesterday.” Sharon smiled all smug and then loaded the gun, making the cartridge jump, proving her right. “I won't ask again. MOVE.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They all tensed, but Wanda moved forward leaving them behind. Her huge green eyes showed the fear she felt, as well as the tears.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We're not really doing this, are we?” Y/N giggled and took a step towards Wanda but one of them stopped her. “Come on, it was just a joke. You can't do this shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But none of them listened, the only one who seemed concerned was Carol. Pietro managed to punch one of them and moved forward but another hit his stomach, crumpling him.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s Wanda, she saved and healed your wounds.” Y/N tried again, watching as her girlfriend closed eyes and let the tears fall. “You all actually lost your minds!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They all started screaming as Sharon advanced with the knife on Wanda. “Things must be done as the wilderness commands.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't you dare touch her.” Pietro hissed, trying to get free but three of them held him now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don’t do this… This doesn't make any sense.” Jules prayed that they would open their eyes, leave the madness behind.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Turn around.” But when Sharon raised the knife, Y/N exclaimed in despair:

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I volunteer!” Y/N took a step forward, not knowing what that meant or what was going to happen, but she would do anything to save Wanda’s life. “Let it be me!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can’t do that.” Wanda shook her head quickly. Now the fear was much worse.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yes, she can.” Sharon cut her off, then pulled out the hunting knife and gave it to Carol. “If wilderness accepts it, it is.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took a step forward, taking courage, for the first time in her life. Her friends tried to stop it but Sharon pointed at them again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Turn around.” Carol ordered, swallowing hard. Y/N just swallowed and turned around slowly and awkwardly, feeling how her muscles hardened. She didn’t know if it was because of fear or cold.

Y/N looked at her friends for the last time, who only seemed to cry and scream. The coldness of her knife blade made her jump.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gasped. “Wait!” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Bravely, she took Carol's hand and turned to face her once more. Her hands and legs trembled like jelly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not like that.” Y/N turned to face Carol, feeling how tears fell down her face. Like her, Carol allowed herself to shed tears as well. “You're gonna have to look me in the eye… if you're going to slit my throat, do it by looking me in the eye.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

For the first time, Carol hesitated. She pressed her lips together, trying not to cry but it was impossible.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don’t do this to me, Y/N.” Carol whimpered, feeling her hand shake. The edge of the knife began to scrape Y/N's skin, but the seconds passed and she couldn't. “I can’t.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde’s voice cracked. “You’re my friend.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The Y/N team sighed in relief.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You've always been good at kicking but never at using your head.” Y/N murmured whimpering too, remembering the times both participated in the best plays together.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde came closer to whisper something in her ear, without removing the knife from Y/N’s neck. But with her free hand, Carol hugged her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” Carol whispered with a shaky voice. “The rifle only has one bullet on the barrell. Just one.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Y/N whispered too, widening her eyes in fear.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Run.” Without further ado, Carol pushed her away towards the door and lunged at Helen to punch her, allowing Y/N to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You fucking traitor!” Sharon screamed and shot Carol in the chest, taking her life instantly. At the horrified scream of the other girls, the blonde ran after Y/N leaving the rifle but taking the axe.

Nat and Jules rushed over to Carol to try to help her and stop the blood but it was impossible. The lost look and pale face of the girl only showed that she died. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Stay here and keep them here.” Pietro told his sister before going out the door.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Pietro, please.” Between tears, Wanda prayed that her brother and Y/N were okay.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you running? Is that your choice?!” Sharon ran after Y/N between trees. Screaming and howling like wild animals, she and Helen ran across the Canadian arctic tundra.

While running on the cold snow, Y/N looked back when she heard a horrible human howl.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They were crazy, they had lost their minds. They shot Carol. She stopped behind the huge tree, trying to lose them.

Y/N closed her eyes when she heard the footsteps of those girls, following her way.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N tried to hold back crying, just clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. She was so afraid, like never before.

Y/N didn't want to die, she didn't want to leave this world, she wanted to have a girlfriend, be a better person, choose a good career at any college that would accept her. It wasn't fair to end her life like this.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It wasn’t fair.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her heart was pounding so hard, she thought her eardrums would burst soon.

Y/N’s eyes widened when she heard their howls approaching again, so the girl ran back in the opposite direction. She knew this place, traveled it thousands of times more than them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Use your head, Y/N.” She told herself before taking one of the paths towards the lake. Behind the lake was the place she found long ago, where she and Wanda used to hang out. That place would be good to hide, yes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N ran across the frozen white lake, despite the stumbles and pain. Despite the cold she felt, she ran with all her might.

Especially when she heard how they were running after her in the lake. But after a few minutes, the terrifying sound of crack made her stop short, fear paralyzed her.

ㅤㅤㅤ Slowly, the ice around her began to crack but if she didn't move, everything would be fine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of course, the others didn't seem to have noticed, so when Helen and Sharon ran towards her desperately, Y/N turned to see them taking a step back.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You’ll die.” Sharon raised the axe.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We all will eventually.” Y/N swallowed and waited for the end. She stomped on the ice below them and it shattered completely, causing them to fall into the frozen water.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The frozen water threatened to freeze her lungs.

Y/N swam into the water and tried to rise to the surface, but something grabbed her leg, pulling and sinking her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sharon insisted on haunting her life, even to take Y/N with her. ㅤㅤㅤ

They struggled underwater until slowly their hands lost the strength to continue. Y/N saw with sadness how the light was lost in Sharon's gaze, she was gone.

Sharon's frozen hands were still clinging to her jacket, pulling it down.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And soon she would be gone too. Feeling how the last breath and air escaped from her lips, Y/N closed her eyes.

But at the last moment, like a miracle, a hand grabbed her arm and pushed to the surface. Not just her, but Sharon as well.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Pietro helped Y/N out of that hole, both desperate for as much air as their lungs would allow, even though it hurt like thousands of daggers.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Th-thank you.” Y/N stammered shivering with cold. She took Sharon's arm and they both pulled that body out of the water. “Why risk your life for two corpses?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“B-because you deserve to live, you m-make my sister happy like I've never seen her… and as I told you before, you're a good l-leader.” Pietro was shaking too, getting up slowly and helping Y/N to do the same. "And her? We d- we don't want them to think we killed her, you both fell into the r-river. We'll b-bury her like the rest.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

When they both arrived at the cabin with Sharon's cold body, they all seemed quite surprised and sad at the same time.

Sharon's madness had brought everyone to a point of no return, especially for Y/N and Carol.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely frozen, the first to take the hot bath was Y/N, who wouldn't stop shaking. Pietro spent a long time in front of the fireplace, until the bath was ready. Of course, that decision would cost him dearly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her gaze was so lost in the flames of the fireplace; how had everything become so terrifying?

Y/N felt like something inside of her completely snapped. Deeply broken. Perhaps being about to die slit by one of her friends, or seeing that friend die in front of her, plus they hadn't eaten well for three months.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It was all so painful that she allowed herself to shed a few more tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha's soft voice caught her attention, but Y/N couldn't take her eyes off the fire.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Asking if everything was alright seemed fucked up, so the redhead decided to go for the best she could: “Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally looked at her with a look full of sadness but also kindness. “Where’s Wanda?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She's with Pietro in the attic, taking care of him. I think he has a slight fever. Jules is helping too.” Natasha sighed and sat down next to her best friend.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N looked down, feeling quite guilty. Pietro risked her life for her and now he was fighting to stay alive. With all her heart, she hoped Wanda didn't hate her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Nat said with a lump in her throat, her green eyes brimming with tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just nodded slowly and sighed deeply, she must be strong. For all the girls who were left.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can't bury them, the ground is frozen and the snow...” Y/N whispered, she couldn't go on.

ㅤㅤㅤ Natasha nodded, surprised. “We have to burn them.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

With Jenn and Yelena’s help, they took Carol and Sharon's body to the pyre they had made with some logs and branches. While the sun was hiding on the horizon, the fire began to lick the branches and the bodies of those girls hungrily.

The rattling of the fire was all that could be heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

With sadness and a few tears, they watched from the window as the fire burned the bodies of those who were once their friends. ㅤㅤㅤ

But after a while, as a horrible dark monster deep inside them woke up, the smell reached them and tortured them. A monster awakening in the need for survival, awakening thousands of thoughts and feelings that made them conflict.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed as fire lit their eyes. All of them, sharing the same moral battle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” For the first time, Natasha sounded completely fragile. Y/N turned to see her, noticing the sadness and disappointment in her green eyes. Self control.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her full lips trembled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so hungry... it's hurting me.” Natasha wept, so ashamed of herself, feeling her eyes fill with tears. “I don't want to do this, but I feel like something is in me... something so bad… so hungry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered Wanda's words, completely heartbroken. “I'm scared. I don’t wanna die here. I wanna live.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And those words marked her like hot steel on her skin.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We need to survive.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The hours went by and Wanda didn’t abandon her brother.

The cold and the heat, the tremors in Pietro's body. The tears that she was tired of shedding. Jules decided to go down for a moment to discuss the situation with the girls, Pietro seemed to be fighting a high fever and cough.

ㅤㅤㅤ If he didn't make a recovery, he could progress to complicated pneumonia and that wasn't a good prognosis.

ㅤㅤㅤ The sokovian sighed, watching how Pietro managed to calm down for a moment, grateful that someone was going up to the attic.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She turned quickly when she heard the voice of Y/N, who sat next to her. In her hands, Y/N brought a steaming bowl which made Wanda's hopes revive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, babe.” Y/N smiled slightly, with a certain sorrow. “I brought something for both of you. My favorite sokovian team.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just looked at her with teary eyes and nodded, glad to see her there. “Thank you, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette kissed her cheek carefully and took the bowl to bring it closer to her brother, so she could feed him.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What is it?” Wanda frowned, curious.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It will keep him alive.” Y/N replied without elaborating, hoping she would understand that the idea was to survive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda looked at her for a moment, not knowing what to say. Words were unnecessary at that moment. She just took the bowl and nodded, moving closer to Pietro who was burning with fever.

If they wanted to survive, they had to try.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤNOW

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N returned to the living room, noticing that Nat and Wanda kept chatting pleasantly. She smiled, thinking about how beautiful the brunette looked today And when their eyes met, this time in a very different way, Wanda smiled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Jules walked past her, snapping her out of her daydreaming. “You both suggested we meet, and I must say that a delicious spaghetti is cooking in the kitchen so…” Jules sat next to her wife. “We have a while to chat.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I’m surprised these two are not killing each other.” Nat arched an eyebrow. Wanda and Y/N looked at each other for a moment and said nothing, sitting down on the sofa. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yep, well… ” Wanda started, sitting next to Y/N. “We have something to tell you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

��WANDA has something to tell you.” Y/N quickly corrected it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Coward.” The sokovian whispered, shaking her head. She took a deep breath to take courage and finally express that great secret.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We found out the person who is blackmailing us.” She pursed her lips, Y/N just nodded watching her friends widen their eyes in surprise.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That's great, let's go find this asshole right now.” Natasha got up from the sofa, ready to go but then she stopped when she saw how her friends shook their heads.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… We already found him.” Y/N narrowed her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What do you mean?” Jules frowned.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The blackmailer was Vision.” Wanda finally let go, and closed her eyes when her friends yelled 'WHAT' at the same time, again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda took the time to explain everything that happened with Vision, and why he did it. Of course, that didn't seem to matter much to Natasha, who seemed completely furious.

Especially after knowing that he was to blame for beating her pregnant wife.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Then everything is fine, besides that he will return the money to Y/N…” Jules placed a hand on her chest, feeling her soul return. “What happened is still safe with us.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Does Vision know what we did?” Natasha frowned as she leaned over to pick up a can of soda. Ever since Y/N came back, no one drank alcohol around her. Not because she wanted to, but to respect her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“He knows nothing, nor will he say anything. I swear.” Wanda sighed. Y/N placed a hand on Wanda's back, as a sign of support. But that made their friends look at them curiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What we did…” Jules began somewhat thoughtfully. “It's not easy, for none of it was.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Leaving that weight behind takes a lot of pain and time and we have all paid for it.” Y/N nodded. “We tried to survive, and the others as well.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They lost their minds, and how not to? We spent a year and a half in the forest.” Natasha said with some regret, looking down. There were no days where she didn’t remember her friends, her team. “And we did it too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Was there really something there? Playing with us?” Y/N hesitated to ask but did, she needed to know.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We will never know, but that horror must be left behind.” Nat sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm really sorry for everything that happened to us. Every night I pray to whoever, that they are okay. None of them deserved that.” Wanda said and they all remained silent for a moment, remembering her brother. ㅤㅤㅤ

After a moment of silence, listening to some soft music, Jules cleared her throat.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Changing the topic…” The black-haired girl bit her lower lip and looked at Natasha, who smiled tenderly. “We want to tell you something.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She looked at Nat who squeezed her hand and nodded, giving the okay to finally let go. One of the most important moments of their lives.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We’re pregnant.” Jules let out an excited squeal. “We are going to be moms!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda and Y/N opened their eyes wide, as big as their smiles. Finally some joy came into their lives, after so much pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“OH MY GOD!” Wanda squealed. “That’s amazing!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Dude, we’re having a baby!” Y/N screamed too; they both tried to fake surprise. But Natasha was a really good detective, and Jules was too empathetic.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you told her already, don't you?” Nat narrowed her eyes and threw a cushion at Y/N. “You dumbass!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You had to open your big mouth!” Jules did the same, attacking Y/N with pillows, laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“SORRY, I WAS SO HAPPY. I COULDN'T CONTAIN MYSELF!” Y/N exclaimed between laughs, trying to cover herself with the pillows.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, detka, I don't know how to lie.” Wanda scrunched her nose and laughed. “I couldn't help it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You're very lucky I love you.” Y/N winked at her, playfully. But her friends soon noticed, they stopped short, still holding the cushions in their hands.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Wait, you… you two are-?” Jules narrowed her eyes and smiled happily, pointing at them. “You bitches. You finally did it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, really? they don't stop ogling each other, have you noticed it NOW?” Nat continued with the joke and they all laughed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

After a delicious dinner, some smiles and knowing glances, Y/N was with her sister in the kitchen, washing the dishes while Wanda and Natasha chatted in the living room about being a mom.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules passed one of the dishes and Y/N dried them. Although Nat offered to buy her a washing machine so many times, Jules always said that washing the dishes relaxed her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so glad you're okay, you both trying to do this right.” Jules smirked, glancing sideways at Y/N. “You look much happier and healthier, I am very happy to see you like this. You deserve it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled and nodded. “I feel... so much better than before.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She stopped for a moment, thinking well about the words she would use.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep, I stop feeling that deep dark hole inside of me. I'm beginning-... I'm beginning to think that maybe something good could happen to me.” Y/N's voice showed how hopeful she felt. Jules turned quickly to see her, her eyes showed how moved and proud she was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so proud of you, Y/N. Mom would be too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You think so?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I do.” Jules nodded and looked down to turn off the faucet and hand her the last plate. “You deserve to be happy, so does she, you have no idea what Wanda was like before you came. I don't know what you two have been doing all this time, but I have to tell you, she looks... happy. Glowing.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled and nodded, wiping down the plate. “You know, I was thinking about what you said today? About what we did.” she swallowed. “I let all of that get to me, and what we went through later with Mama Claire... I left you alone and I'm so sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can't fix much of what we did, but we can do better. Every time we can.” Slowly, Jules reached out to hug and rest her head on Y/N’s shoulder. After a moment, she dared to speak, somewhat embarrassed. “I'm so afraid.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Afraid of what?” Y/N looked down, noticing Jules's blank look.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sometimes I feel like this little baby deserves so much better.” The woman bit her lower lip, releasing one of her deepest fears. “I’m so lucky to have Natasha by my side, but I'm so scared, you know? I feel like something…something won't let me forget what I did there. Fucking Ward.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She swallowed, feeling Y/N's hand caress her back affectionately.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't let fear or the past take away the most beautiful moments of your life. You’ll be an amazing mom.” Y/N said in a low voice, taking Jules's hand, smiling when she rested on her shoulder again. “Wonderful, kind, funny. You know math, that’s a lot, dude. Am I forgetting something else?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh stop it, you're just flattering me.” They both laughed and Jules patted her. “But i’ve to say… you will be a great godparent.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words took Y/N by surprise, who turned to see her so surprised. “What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules nodded, smiling. “You in?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely shocked and excited by the choice of her friends, she didn't know which emotion to show first. She felt happy, surprised, a little terrified of screwing it. “Are you- are you sure?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So sure.” She giggled when Y/N hugged her so tight, like a huge bear. “With my whole life. We are cousins, but we grew up together as sisters. Except for Natasha, there's no one who knows me like you do… And I know that there will be no one in this world who will take better care of my little one.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You know Wanda would do better, she has experience with kids.” Y/N whispered, looking down for a moment while her friend poured three cups of coffee for them, one cup of tea for herself.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, you guys are together, aren’t you?” Jules winked at her. “Then it’s the same. Also the other godparent will be Yelena. So this baby will go crazy!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

They both shared a laugh, before returning to the room, Jules took her arm. “I love you, Y/N.” She caressed her cheek with unique softness, her brown eyes brimming with tears. “My sweet brave Y/N. I am proud to be your sister.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely moved by her words, Y/N smiled. “I love you so much, Jules.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And the months passed quickly, especially when you're happy. ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha and Jules were able to enjoy every month of the pregnancy. Of course, the redhead became very protective of her wife, and their little bumblebee. Although they could have figured it out long ago, they decided not to find out if it was a boy or a girl until birth.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N always showed how proud she felt to be the godparent, although it always unleashed adorable fights with Yelena to see who was better auntie or with which of the two the baby kicked the most.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Beating all the odds, Y/N stayed sober all those seven months. By attending a NA group and a new therapist, the dark haired woman was able to leave behind much of what was hurting her to start anew.

And Wanda was a big part of the new hope inside her. The relationship with Wanda improved a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Since they had spent the first night together, the dates became more frequent. Of course, the sokovian seemed to want to go slow, it was the best for both, but at the same time they both wanted so much more.

Y/N also worked hard to make her feel safe, patiently winning her heart.

The twins fully understood that their parents were divorcing because they were no longer happy together. That Vision was in love with Virginia and that Wanda was in love with Y/N. ㅤㅤㅤ

The first time they met, Y/N was terrified. She hesitated many times whether to knock on the door or run away but finally, she decided to face all her fears for Wanda. Because she deserved it, they both deserved a chance. Incredibly, she made the best decision of her life.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So, do you like it?” Y/N asked as she cut up some mini sandwiches and brought them to the coffee table in front of the sofa.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We love it!” Billy exclaimed with that console in his hands. Tommy nodded, taking a mini sandwich.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“When I was a kid, I loved playing this one. My family didn't have a lot of money so I sold some candy and delivered newspapers so I could buy it.” Y/N smiled to see how Billy was looking at the console with curiosity and an adorable smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ

For a while now the boy hadn't stopped telling her how happy he was catching pokemons in the 'Fire Red Pokemon'. ㅤㅤㅤ

“They are not the same one, of course. I lost mine a long time ago on a trip with your mom and your aunties.” She swallowed hard and smiled sadly. “But I got these for you. It’s not the new Switch one, that… one is so much better, but… I thought you might like this one too. I like it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling a bit shy, Y/N always had a soft spot for old-school stuff. As if part of her didn't want to give up the innocence and past she lost in the woods.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N!” The twins said at the same time and hugged her waist, making her laugh a bit. Y/N ruffled their hair when they parted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m glad you liked it, boys. I was afraid it would bore you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“This is amazing! We like spending time with you, Y/N.” Tommy smiled and ran back to the sofa.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re so funny… and you make mom happy.” Billy was encouraged to say with a toothy smile and then followed his brother.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not that boring, huh. Take that, anxiety.” Y/N sat on the other couch, taking control of the TV. Outside, the sky was beginning to darken from the coming storm.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They were together for another half hour until the door opened, Wanda came into the house somewhat in a hurry and soaked by the rain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't want to be late, it's just that in the end I couldn't find a place to park, it was chaos!” Wanda exclaimed as she took off her soaked coat in the doorway. She couldn't help but smile when she saw them like that.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N came over to give her a little peck and help her with her bag and coat. “So? How was it?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The twins left the console and sat on the sofa, as expectant as Y/N to hear the news.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh… well…” The brunette scrunched her nose. She inhaled deeply, then released it. “They gave it to me! I've got the job!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The three approached and began to jump and cheer with the sokovian.

As soon as the little ones hugged their mother -and then walked away saying 'ew' because her clothes were still wet-

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The good thing is that I can do it from home.” Wanda explained to Y/N speaking fast, all excited. “All I need is my laptop.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That’s amazing, babe! Oh, I’m so happy for you.” Y/N bit her lower lip. Finally everything started to go well, right?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Me too.” Wanda smiled happily. “I can finally do something for myself. Isn't it amazing?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is, my love.” Y/N walked over to wrap her arms around her. “You deserve it more than anyone. I’m so proud!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you so much, detka.” Wanda's green eyes sparkled with happiness.

ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N just smiled tenderly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you too, luv.” They both looked at each other for a moment before leaning their foreheads together, losing themselves in each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, I’m gonna take a bath but first… I think today we can celebrate by ordering pizza and ice cream. What do you think about it? And maybe I’ll even let you guys try to beat me at Monopoly.” Wanda said, looking at the three of them.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The adorable twins squealed with excitement and jumped on the sofa happily. And although Wanda tried to stop them, she ended up laughing.

Y/N just smiled happily from where she was, feeling that maybe she finally had a place in the world. A comfortable and pleasant place.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Hours later, after a delicious pizza and a night of laughter, Y/N and Wanda slept peacefully for a few hours until a screeching sound interrupted them. Outside, the storm was fiercer than ever.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It's so late... who is it?” Y/N murmured sleepily, trying to go back to sleep entwined with the body of her beloved. It was 2 AM. ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just snuggled against the covers, opening one of her eyes to see how Y/N's phone began to vibrate and ring again insistently. “I don't know, it's your phone, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry.” Y/N muttered before yawning, sitting up on the bed to take the call. The screen said that her number was unknown, which made her frown. “Hello?... Yeah, it’s me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sat up in bed and ran a hand over her face, trying to wake up. She tried to understand what the person was saying, but nothing seemed to make sense.

Her eyes showed confusion and fear, her lips trembled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What? Wh- What do you mean?” Y/N said shocked, surprised, terrified. Hearing her voice like that, Wanda also got up feeling her heart jump. “No… No, that’s-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Detka, what is it?” Wanda put a hand on her shoulder and tried to understand, Y/N seemed lost in shock.

ㅤㅤㅤ

With her teary eyes, Y/N begged: “That's not true.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“N-no… You must be wrong.” She started to cry, getting up to put on her clothes and dropping the phone on the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda hesitated whether to hug her or take the phone, but she needed to know what the hell was going on.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hello? Yes, I’m-” The brunette finally managed to understand, opening her green eyes wide, listening to the person on the other end of the call. “Oh… Yes, we will-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N walked away looking for her jacket but she couldn't help but walk down the hall and cry in silence. But the voices became distant, more and more. All Y/N could hear was the annoying beep. Like white noise. Everything about her was shattered. Everything inside her was starting to break down.

🐝🐝🐝 Only one chapter left.

This is the hardest chapter to write. The finale is all about present day. Although it is not direct, it is an allusion. I didn't know whether to make them make that decision or not, but the truth is that survival is harsh. I don't think I can made it as harsh and as selfish as in Yellowjackets.

Those women were selfish (and human, that's perfect. That's the point of the tv show, this moral battle), but our girls are not like that. They're good friends.

I'm babbling too much, I'm sorry if this is not okay for you. Maybe you'd better skip this past, and just finish the story with the next one. It's all about present. Have a good sunday, sweets. 🐝

ㅤㅤ

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ @kaiidth-wandika @yourfavunsub @pawiie @fanboy7794 @sunsol-22 @scarlettbitchx @arcturusseer @imnotasuperhero @chtte @lesbians-in-outer-space @starry-night17 @cristin-rjd @kenlymar @chtte @marvelogic @druggedduck @aliherreraaa @widowwaddles @gingiesworld

ㅤㅤㅤ

#wish you were here #wandabear

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gojos-thot-patrol · 2 years ago

Text

Sukuna had never been one for love. Historically speaking, it repulsed him. but, something about you made him rethink that stance.

NSFW Soft!Sukuna x reader! praise kink, oral (both m receving and giving), typical smut content. you know what your signing up for. reader uses she/her pronouns and is Sukunas favorite concubine. no beta, we die like men. no editor, we die like fools.

warnings: none I can think of

Sukuna isn't the type of person to say "I love you." He's not the type of person to love. He was a demonic warlord, known for his cruelty and lack of empathy. What part of that screams "lover boy" to you? Emotions in general weren't really his thing, ya know?

And yet here he was, staring at his ceiling in the dark, forcing his heart to calm the fuck down. That was a close call. It almost slipped out again. He looked down at you, snuggled closely into his side and sleeping peacefully. This was dangerous. He was screwed.

Tonight was the 3rd time the sukuna almost slipped up and told you he loved you. The first time, he didn't even register what was happening. You had been his favorite concubine for quite awhile at that point. A sweet sacrifice from the villagers to try and keep his terraney at bay. Something about your eyes had called put to him, but that was as far as that emotion went.

That was until about a year ago. You were still new in your stay at the palace, and the other girls were still trying to figure out where you stood with them. Sukuna was known for walking around the palace with his advisors. And as he passed the concubines quarters, one of the other girls thought they'd impress him.

They came to you from behind as you were brushing your hair and ripped the brush from your hand, taking a good chunk of your hair with it. "Oh, are you using this?" She asked, laughing with the other girls. Sukuna watched you intensely to see how you would handle it, and oh boy you did not disappoint.

You smiled softly as you stood up, taking the styling scissors from your vanity. You walked over, the sweetest smile he had ever seen as you took a fistful of her waist length hair, and cut just that chunk above her jaw. "Oh, I'm sorry," You chirped innocently, "are you using this?"

Sukuna laughed. He actually laughed. Seeing someone so sweet and innocent do something so rather viscous was hilarious to him. "I lo-" he caught himself midsentnce and quickly back tracked. "I like that. That was hilarious." He praised, making you blush.

His advisor gave him the side eye about it, but knew better than to question it. Just went on about...something. Sukuna wasn't listening if he's honest. He told himself then and there he'd stop seeing you as much and preoccupy his time with the other girls.

The exact opposite happened. Without him even seeing what he was doing, you started to get special treatment. Hell you were getting it right now. No one else had ever slept in his quarters with him, much less in his bed. You stirred slightly in your sleep, snapping Sukuna back to reality as his head snapped over to you.

He held you a little closer, a little tighter. Comforting you and protecting you from whatever was disrupting your sleep. Shit he was in over his head. He thought about kicking you out of his bed. Out of his room and into the hall without even the courtesy of putting on your clothes and then never acknowledging you again.

He looked back up at the ceiling. Yea that wasn't going to happen. Just thinking about it made his heart contort in ways he fucking hated. Is this what being whipped was? He wasn't a fan. He started thinking about the second time he almost confessed his true feelings for you. Arguably, his worst moment considering he was completely of his right mind.

You had dragged him out to the palaces garden. You said it was because you liked his company as you tended to the garden. He reminded you he quite frankly had better things to do, and this was the gardeners job, not yours. You ignored him, and well, it's not like he left. Honestly, it was cute watching you indulge in your habits, and he’d be lying if he said he didn't enjoy listening to you tell him botany facts.

He was staring up at the sky, pretending not to listen to you ramble on about the prime growing conditions for orchids when you screamed. It sent cold electricity through his body as he was by your side and holding you less than a minute later. He didn't even remember getting up. “What? What is it Y/n are you hurt?” he demanded as he examined you closely, looking for any sign of injury. You looked up at him with wide terrified eyes. “Spider!” you squeaked.

You had to be shitting him. He looked at you confused for a moment before looking at the ground where you were formally sitting. Sure enough, there was a grass spider there, and a fairly big one too. “Was that really worth shrieking about?” He asked, turning back to you. You nodded aggressively. “Yes, its huge! Will you move him for me Sir? Please?” you asked, eyes wide and pleading. Sukuna sighed and went to crush him.

“No! Dont kill him, he didn’t do anything wrong!” you yelped to stop him. Oh, this was getting insufferable. He looked at you with a dark look. “And just who do you think you’re talking to like that, slut?” he asked. “I’ve indulged you this much, far more than I should, and you have the audacity to ask more of me?” he asked, stepping closer to you.

To his shock, but moreseo yours, you stood firm. Even as your lip quivered. “He didn't do anything wrong…I’m in his house your majesty. It wouldn't be fair to kill him, just because he can be a little scary sometimes..” Sukuna was shocked by your resolve. The look he gave you had made warlords crumble, and yet you didn't. He didn't know if he should be impressed by your resolve, or infuriated by it. What he did know was that it was flooding his blood with a fire he wasn't used to. It was different from the fire he felt in battle. This was warmer. Kinder.

He leaned down closer to you. You didn’t flinch. He touched your face. You maintained eye contact. He realized you weren’t afraid of him. His first thought was “her survival instincts must be shit.” Anyone that wanted to live knew to fear Sukuna. He killed and pillaged with reckless abandon, and had not once even considered a human life. His second thought was “why is this not pissing me off?”

Normally, when anyone had the gaul to stand up to the king of curses, he was quick to show them why that was foolish. Nothing upset him more than someone questioning his authority. But, you…for whatever reason, you not fearing him made that warm fire burn brighter. You trusted him. You weren’t just kind to him out of fear for your life, you were kind to him because you liked him. You cared for him. He wasn't used to that.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your kips. It wasn't like any other kiss you two had shared, or a kiss Sukuna had ever experienced, before. It was slow and intentional, almost sweet. He remembered feeling the heat radiating off of your blushing cheeks. He nipped your bottom lip, slipping his tongue into your mouth as he pulled you closer to him. You pulled away first, looking at him with wide doe eyes, panting gently. “Sukuna..”you whispered softly to him. It was the first time you had addressed him by name. An infraction that has resulted in the death of other concubines in the past. But, not you. “Y/n,” he whispered back, an unusual warmth lacing his voice “I-” he thought about where that sentence was going. And quickly decided not to finish it.

He’d already been more vulnerable to you in these past few minutes than he had been with anyone his entire life. That included himself. He already felt like a fool, there was no way in hell he was going to dig this hole any deeper by confessing his love for a fucking cocubine. He needed to get his shit together. He straightened back up and took a step away from you. “I like you.” he said, the warmth draining from his voice. He could see the confusion on your face. Good.

He moved the spider to a different part of the garden. On his way back, he glanced at you long enough to make an order of you. “See me in my quarters tonight,” he demanded. “Where are you going?” you asked. You really were forgetting your place. And he was letting you. Fuck, he was losing his mind. “I already told you,” he snapped, “I have better things to do than play gardener with a whore.” he said harshly, returning to the palace.

That night was the first night you had stayed in his room. 4 months ago. You’ve stayed in his bed every night since. He didn’t even acknowledge the other girls throwing themselves at him anymore. He didn’t care, he had no desire for any girl other than the one in his bed. He found himself going out of his way to make time for you, and had even taken to taking you to nice dinners at least once a week. Were you even a concubine anymore?

He didn’t know. Asking questions like that forced him to confront the feelings he had for you that was becoming harder to contain by the day. He didn't like it. And yet, here he was, laying in the dark and staring at your sleeping form as he grappled with that very question. It was like he was arguing with himself.

Did he even need those others anymore? He could easily kill them all and save on not having to feed them anymore. Yes, keep them. This is temporary and if it isn’t? You’d think if it was these feelings would have surpassed by now. If they're not, then kill the girl. Love is weakness. No, he didn’t want to do that. He wanted her around. And Sukuna always got what he wanted. He never thought his spoiled, bratty nature would out weigh his murderous one, but, then again he never thought he’d fall in love so.

The world was just full of surprises. He sighed softly. He was going to have to admit he was in love sooner or later. 3 times was a lot of times to almost confess something you didn’t mean. Though, if any of them were excusable it was his most recent slip. That one happened just a few hours ago, and was honestly the most understandable close call.

Though, he knew he was probably the most honest with himself when his cock was buried in your cunt. The intoxicating warmth, the melody of you calling out his name, the feeling of your plush thighs bruising under his fingertips. Sukuna had never been the demon to think with his cock, unless it came to you.

His last coherent thought was probably “it has to be some sort of sin for her to wear that robe.” A thought that had occurred to him as he watched you enter his room, still drying behind your ears from your shower. You wore a thin white robe that left very little to the imagination, one you knew to be your demonic overlords favorite. You looked up and caught him staring. He didn’t bother enough to pretend like he wasn't. You smiled and chuckled slightly, “Yes your highness? Is there a problem?” you asked, a coy smile curling the corners of your perfect lips.

You knew exactly what you were doing, Sukuna could see it in your eyes. It amused him that you still tried to play so coy. He returned your smirk. “No problem. Just admiring my favorite girl.” he said as he approached you. You giggled softly as you took his hand and let him pull you into his embrace. He’d gotten comfortable with admitting you were his favorite. It's not like he could hide it, even if he wanted too. You were almost always by his side, not that he’d have it any other way.

“Like what you see?” you purred up to him, looking at him through your lashes. “Hmmmm…no.” the demon said, toying with the delicate fabric of your robe. “You’d look better without this cheap robe on.” “You and I both know this robe is not cheap.” you scoffed at him. “Really?” Sukuna scoffed back. Say what you will, you had a spitfire spirit that couldn't be killed. One of the many things he loved about you. “You choose to give me back talk right now?” Your king asked, using a clawed finger to force you to look at him.

“Maybe I need to remind you who you’re talking to.” he growled to you. “Maybe you do.” you whispered back. Sukuna growled and closed the gap between the two of you, trapping you in a dominating kiss and pulling you into his tight grip. You didn’t resist, wrapping your arms around his waist, melting into his touch. He pulled you as close as he possibly could, lost in your impossibly soft lips. He could kiss you for hours.

But, he could think of a few things that would be slightly more fun for him. He pulled away from your mouth, kissing down your jaw and neck, biting and leaving marks where he could. If anyone doubted the fact that you were his they wouldn't after tonight. You moaned softly as he found the sweet spot on your neck. A spot he was very familiar with for its ability to make you melt. Your hands moved up to grab at his hair and the nape of his neck. He smirked, feeling you grind against his thigh as he freshed the marks on you. “You know,” he moaned into your ear, “I can think of some better uses for your mouth.”

He pulled your hips closer to his, making you painfully aware of the hard on you gave him. You looked up at him with wide, doe eyes as he led you to your shared bed. He sat on the edge, refusing to take his eyes off you as you straddled his hips. You bit your lip as you slipped off your robe, only to reveal nothing underneath. You were planning this. You maintained eye contact with him as you slipped his robe off his shoulders, taking the opportunity to place a kiss on his neck as you did so.

“Come now love, don’t tease.” Sukuna groaned as he pushed you to your knees. He watched with 4 intense eyes as you kissed the tip of his honestly pretty dick. He groaned as you licked up his prominent vein, taking just the head into your mouth. “I said dont tease.” Sukuna groaned as he grabbed you by your hair. A warning. One you headed as you took all that you could of him into your mouth, using your hand to stroke the rest.

Sukuna moaned shamelessly as you worked. You were the only person he had ever been with able to coax such elicit sounds from him. “Fuck-” he groaned, bucking his hips into your slobbering mouth. "Who taught you to suck dick like this?" He chuckled. "You did." You moaned around him, only egging him on more as he pulled at your hair. He leaned back onto his arm, thoroughly enjoying the warm feeling of your mouth around him. Nothing felt better than this.

Well, not nothing. He pulled you off his cock, looking down at you with approving eyes, “wonderful as always doll,” he praised, helping you off the floor and onto the bed. “I think you’ve earned yourself a reward.” he chuckled as he knelt between your legs and spread them apart. His favorite part. He skipped the teasing, more desperate than he’d like to admit to get a taste. You gasped as he started sucking on your clit, hands flying to his hair. This was how he knew you were special.

“S-Sukuna..” you moaned out as he slipped a finger into your already dripping cunt. He smirked up at you. “So wet, just from sucking my dick?” he hummed as he went back to work, curling his finger inside you. He slipped another finger in, specifically to find the soft spot inside you. A spot he found with little trouble, as always. “Suka!!” you yelped, blush rushing your face. Pet names now, huh? He was letting you get away with pet names?

He removed his fingers from your pussy and pulled you closer, his expert fingers rubbing your clit as his long tongue took its turn exploring your insides. Sukuna himself groaned at the taste, closing his eyes as he buried his face deeper into you. Your melody of moans mixing beautifully with the warmth of your body and the taste of your cunt to have an almost hypnotizing effect on him.

“Fuck, Y/n” he moaned into you, palming his own dick to relieve some of the pressure. He looked up at a sight that deserved to be famed in a museum. You with your head tost back, eyes crossed and thighs quivering as you rode his face, gripping his hair for dear life. It set him back on fire as he returned to the assault on your pussy, adding more pressure to your clit. “S-Sir, please!” you gasped, feeling that familiar knot in your lower stomach tighten. “I-m gonna-” “I know.” If anyone knew your body better than you it was your lover. “Come for me Princess.” a few more strokes of your clit and your thighs had clamped around Sukunas head. He ate you through your high, enjoying the way that your legs and pussy quivered for him. He grinned once your legs fell from around him and he was able to pull away. “Gorgeous..” he mumbled softly as he moved to position himself on top of you. You looked at him through your lashes and giggled softly.

A sight that honestly made Sukunas heart melt. “You're beautiful.” he whispered as he leaned down to pull you into a heated, passionate kiss. Sukuna was never one for praise, but you brought it out of him. He spread your legs again, lining his cock up with your core. “Look at me Y/n.” he demanded, moving your head to make eye contact with him. “Suka..” you whimpered, moaning shamelessly as he began to push inside you, slowly. Drawing out every reaction you would give him.

He grinned down at your cute scrunched face, panting as you tried to adjust to accommodate his size. It seemed now matter how many times you two did this you were never ready. “‘M gonna mold your cunt to my cock, I promise.” Sukuna groaned, looking at you with half lidded eyes as he finally bottomed out. He dropped his head down and into the crook of your neck. He began his quest to mark you in as many places as possible as he dragged his cock in and out of you.

“S’ big..” you moaned, wrapping your legs around him and clawing at his back. He chuckled darkly as he adjusted himself to reach your soft spot. He started picking up the pace, massaging your insides. You were warm, so fucking warm. He could spend eternity buried in your cunt, drooling over the way his cock made your stomach bulge. The way he swore you pulled him in, inviting him to stay as long as you both needed. Feeling the way your soft body gave way to his rough fingertips, hearing the way you call out his name was a prayer, the claw marks you’d both have in the morning.

You tested his self control every fucking night,and tonight was no diffrent. “Fuck, please. More, please” you moaned to him. He growled in response, biting your neck. “You want more slut?” he chuckled. “Then beg for it.” you groaned and pulled at his hair. “Fuck, please! Please Sir, fuck me harder! I need your cock, hard and fast, please! Fuck me like you own me, Ryomen, pretty please!”

No fucking way you just used his first name. No fucking way he liked it as much as he did. Hearing it fall from your lips went straight to his cock and set his body on fire. He liked that. He liked that a lot. “Say it again.” he groaned, picking up the pace ever so slightly, “Fuck me like you own me!” you yelled. “No.” he said with a particularly harsh thrust, causing you to yelp as he grazed your cervix. “My name.” “your name?..” he saw the lightbulb go off in your eyes.

“Ryomen, please! Fuck me harder, Ryomen please. I need you.” Shit. Sukuna could feel himself blushing. He liked that way too much. He gave into your demands, pulling you into a mating press and absolutely punishing your cunt, slipping a hand down to rub at your clit as he did you. “You're mine.” He said with no uncertainty in his voice. “Do you understand that? You are fucking mine, if anyone else so much as glances at you I’ll slaughter them. Do you hear me?” he demanded.

“Yes, Ryo! All yours, only yours!” you groaned, arching your back into the pleasure he was giving you. Fuck, Ryo now?! “I fucking love you.” he moaned out softly to you. “Wh- what?” you asked, looking at him confused. Shit, did he say that out loud?! Fuck, fuck, fuck! “I said I fucking own you, Slut!” he hissed, picking up his already impossible pace. Either that was a smooth cover, or you were too close to coming to care. You didn’t question him further. You clawed at his sheets and bucked your hips to meet his. “R-ryomen, I-”

You didn't get to finish your sentence. You let out a shrill moan as your orgasim hit you like a truck. Your thighs clamped around him as your pussy quivered around him, pulling him in more and refusing to let him pull out. Not that he wanted too. He was going to knock you up right then and there. You were going to be his forever. Your orgasam was enough to bring him to his a few strokes later, coming deep inside you. Your eyes connected as your mutual climax hit, making him particularly weak as he rode you through it.

He almost collapsed on you once you two were done. He didn’t expect that to be as emotionally taxing as it was. His head was swimming. He said he loved you. He said it out loud, for anyone to fucking hear. That made it real. He couldn't just run from it anymore. You were probably the first person in over a century to call him by his first name and live, let alone give him honest to god butterflies about it, what the fuck was going on!?

He was pulled out of his spiraling thoughts as your gentle hand caressed his check. He looked up at you as you smiled so sweetly. More sweetly than he deserved. You placed a gentle kiss on his lips, and curled into his arms. “Magnificent as always, your highness.” you purred. Did you even realize you were saving him from his own mind? He wrapped his arms around you. “You as well, my darling.” he muttered. He didn’t just want you. He needed you.

And that led him here. Staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night and over thinking every single interaction you two had ever had together. Could this have been avoided? Where did he fuck up and fall in love? How could he not have stopped this? He sighed. It didn’t really matter now. He was in for the ride, and he didn't want to get off. He looked at your sleeping form next to him and smiled. You were so peaceful. Probably the only person in the world that could sleep so soundly next to the king of curses. He cuddled closer to you. You were warm, as always. “I love you Y/n, so much.” he whispered to the dark.

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #demon sukuna #soft sukuna #jjk #jjk smut #sukuna x reader smut

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tommydarlings · 2 years ago

Text

more than words could ever describe | e.m

pairing: Eddie Munson x reader

warnings: none, just basically pure angst :)

w/c: 1.3k

summary: you and Eddie promised each other that you would only go down together, but Eddie Munson was never really the type to keep a promise.

masterlist <3 // my ko-fi to support me <3

"Eddie my love, can you come here real quick?" you yelled from Eddie's bedroom while you took a seat on his old but not so uncomfortable bed.

You would totally lie when you would say that your not a bit nervous to tell him what you are about to tell him. You honestly don't even know why because it's not like your gonna tell him that you cheated on him or that you are pregnant or some bullshit like that but your still pretty nervous about the following conversation your gonna have with your boyfriend.

"Coming sweetheart!" he told you in a singing kind of voice as he jogged into his bedroom while you laughed quietly at his childish behavior.

He's really such a child sometimes.

"What's the matter princess?" he asked with a tiny smile painted on his gorgeous face as he sat himself cross legged down infront of your body. "Everything okay?" he asked you with concern written on his face. Brows furrowed and the smile suddenly vanishing from his lips.

"Yeah it's just... about tomorrow" you told him with a small sigh. He sighed too and grabbed you chin gently with his fingertips. "Look at me sweetheart, please" you looked into his eyes before he went on.

"I understand that you are worried about tomorrow, but everthing is gonna work out, okay? We've gone through the plan like a hundred times today, right? It's gonna work out. You, Nancy, Steve, dustin and everyone else will leave the upside down alive tomorrow, okay? Maybe with a couple of scratches or something like that but alive, you understand me?" he explained to you with a soothing and gentle voice.

"Yeah, your right eds, can you promise me something?" you looked into his eyes with seriousness this time.

"Depends on what it is my love" he answered with his typical sweet laugh but it stopped as soon as he saw your serious gaze. "Y-yeah, of course, what should I promise you y/n baby?"

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a quick second before you told him the reason why you really wanted to talk to him tonight. "Promise me that we make it out alive" you said as tears slowly started to build up in your eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey, yes, of course sweetheart, I will do everything I can to protect you from vecna and the bats-"

"No, no Eddie, we. Not me, not you, we Eddie. Together, not separately. You make it out alive, I make it out alive. There will be no 'I will protect you even if it means that I'll have to sacrifice myself then' shit, okay?"

He nodded along as you talked with him about tomorrow's mission.

"You won't die in my arms, I won't die in your arms, you understand me?, either we both make it out alive or we go down together, alright?" you said as tears made their way down to your cheeks. "I promise sweetheart, I promise" he whisperd as you went in for a tight hug. He gently kissed the top of your head before you two decided to call it a night and get enough sleep for tomorrow's chaos.

---

"Since when does vecna got so many fucking bat's?" you questioned yourself as you and Eddie flighted in his trailer in the upside down all those ugly but quite dangerous animal-monsters. "I swear he ordered new ones or some shit" Your boyfriend yelled back as he hit another bat that was coming at you pretty good on the head.

"Thank you my love" you looked at him with a tiny smile for one second before you turned around and started yelling at them animals to back off again. "No problem princess" he laughed to himself before he finally got the idea to cover the hole those bat's were coming from up with his shield that he build proudly all by himself.

"Perfect, are there any other holes these bat's could fly out from?" you asked him quickly before you both realized it at the same time.

"THE BEDROOM" the two of you stormed out of the living room, into Eddie's bedroom that the two of you share for several months already. "Fucking shit-" you mumbled right as a flok of them jumped out of a hole in the corner of the bedroom. "C'mon Eddie, let's go!" you yelled loudly as you grabbed his pointer and middle finger tightly around your tiny hand and ran towards the big hole where you escape the upside down.

"And up you go sweetheart" he said as he lifted you up and helped you crawl your way up into the 'normal' Hawkins. "Oww!" you said as you landed on the pretty hard mattress. "Now your turn eds!" you yelled up where he was already making his way towards you.

But suddenly he stopped mid-way and looked deep in your eyes like it was the first time seeing you.

Like it was his first time noticing how deeply blue your eyes actually are.

How many freckles you actually have on your soft face.

How tiny and sweet your nose actually was.

How your lips have the literally best and most beautiful shape.

How perfect your slightly pink cheeks look.

How perfect you look.

He was looking at you like he knew that it would be his last time looking at you.

And then it hit you.

"Eddie, n-no, you crawl up that thing right now, c'mon" you whisperd sternly. You knew his fucked up plan, but you for sure wouldn't make him actually get though it.

"I love you more than words could ever describe" he whisperd with a very tiny but also very visible smile on his lips.

"No!" you yelled as tears burned in your eyes. Eddie jumped away, down on the floor and ran away.

He ran, and ran, and ran until he stopped right in his tracks and realized that that's exactly that what he shouldn't be doing.

running away.

He turned around to face the bat's that were making their way to him and made the decision of his life.

Do. not. run. away. this time.

So he fighted.

"Fucking stupid man, I swear-" you said as you landed on your back after crawling your way back into the upside down to save your boyfriend from getting himself killed.

"Please don't let it be too late, please don't let it be-"

And then you saw your other half. Laying on the dirty floor, alone, covered on his own blood from head to toe.

"No-" you whisperd to yourself quietly as your vision got more and more blurry through the tears. "Please no-" you begged somebody, anybody to come and help you.

"Eddie! Eddie, I'm here, I-I'm here baby, I'm here for you" you whimpered as you kneed down next to his drained out and cold body. "Hey, hey my love, can you hear me?" you asked him quietly as you moved a strand of hair that was sticking onto his face. He nodded quickly before he spoke up.

"Y-yes, I can hear you s-sweetheart" he smiled softly at you. "Why didn't you just listen and crawled up that damn thing eds" you asked while tears ran down your cold cheeks as you looked at your lovers head laying comfortably in your lap. He shook his head with a tired facial expression written on his bloody face as he answered your question. "I couldn't run a-away another time my l-love, I c-couldn't" he said with a sad smile. "But this t-time you should have ran away Eddie, this time y-you should h-have" you slowly grew slightly angry, but you couldn't be upset with him right now, not now. "What about o-our promise eds, your promise! That you made me! What a-about that, huh!" you started to sob unstoppably.

"Remember how I once told you that I think that rules were only made to be broken? Well, I guess it's the same with promises"

"I-I don't believe that, you hear me? I d-don't believe that" you told him as you wiped some tears off of your face.

"maybe you should" he whisperd with a tiny smile.

You couldn't even answer him anymore, you just broke down and cried as he suddenly grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers.

"Please never forget one thing my love, people will always make promises they can't keep, because if they know that they would keep it in the end, they wouldn't feel the urge to even make it a promise" he told you quietly as he searched the eye contact under the tears that formed in his eyes. "So you knew it along? You knew that you would do this?"

"Why do you think was I so tired this morning" he asked you as your furrowed your brows in confusion. "What do you mean eds?"

"Do you seriously think I slept last night?" he laughed a bit. "If you weren't able to fall asleep, why didn't you wake me up and tell me then-"

"No, no, no sweetheart, I didn't fall asleep last night because I wasn't able to, I didn't fall asleep last night because I wanted to look at my beautiful girlfriend one last time before my life goes downhill, I wanted to stare into your gorgeous eyes but I obviously couldn't do that because, well, your eyes were closed" he exclaimed with a genuine laugh this time.

"But I thought about us. About the first time we've met, about our first date, our first kiss, our first time, our first 'I love you', our first time holding hands in school, I just thought about us and to be honest, I think I couldn't have though about something better than this all night long" he told you quietly as he starred into your blurry pupils.

"I love you so much Eddie, so much my love" you whisperd as you slowly noticed how his breathing went by slower and his eyes started to close.

"I love you more than words could ever describe" he whisperd one last time before he closed his eyes gently.

You laid your body down next to his as you carefully took his head and placed in the crook of your neck and kissed his forehead lightly.

"more than words could ever describe" you whisperd to yourself as you drifted off into the most painful sleep you could ever imagine.

---

You were very surprised when you woke up in your boyfriends bed in his old trailer that he shared with his uncle.

That was the next issue... How the hell are you explain all of this to wanye.

After drying your wet cheeks at least a little bit, you stood up and stretched your body before you wanted to leave the room.

Yes, you heard me right, wanted.

You didn't realized that the tiny (and only shelf) he got in his room was right next to his bed and unintentionally kicked the textbook where he kept all his self written songs in quickly of the shelf.

"Oh damn it" you picked it up but as you held it in your hand and read the first song title you felt like you couldn't move.

- indescribable love story -

You knew that Eddie usually only liked music from Metallica or Iron maiden, so to see that he written a song that was full of love and carried such a beautiful and soft title was very new to you.

You started to cry all over again. You thought that wouldn't have any tears left anymore but you did and your body literally is currently proving you it. You started to sob as your knees gave in and you crashed to the floor with the most precious piece of paper in between your fingertips.

"I also love you more than words could describe" you whisperd as tear drops hit Eddie's probably most beautiful written song in your shaky hands.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers #eddie munson st4 #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine

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markantonys · 2 years ago

Text

the gathering storm chapter 29-38

rand: starts reciting The List me: lowers audiobook volume

“the list always began with moiraine. that name hurt the most of all, for he could have saved her. he should have. he hated himself for allowing her to sacrifice herself for him.” yes, rand, she died because you were too much of a wuss about killing women to kill lanfear. and now you are enforcing your killing women wussiness by dwelling on moiraine and the list. do you not see the problem here.

rand mentions twice in this chapter that he intends the sun throne for elayne! neither in a way that indicates that she’s his girlfriend or even that he cares about her at all on a personal level, though, of course, but i am starving for crumbs over here.

lews therin adds min’s name to the list. min has been fridged for rand’s manpain and she isn’t even dead! an incredible feat.

“even if semirhage had been behind the action, rand was the one who had been too weak to send min away and protect her.” YEAH NO SHIT “he [still] hadn’t sent her away.” oh MY god. “min might die here, but if he sent her away, she would be in just as much danger. his enemies likely suspected that he loved her.” yeah because you’ve been keeping her around plastered to your side 24/7 and making exceptions to your Push Away To Protect rule just for her!! i’m going to scream! (clarifying once again that i don’t actually agree with rand that he needs to send all his loved ones away to protect him, it just frustrates me that he makes nonsense exceptions for min, constantly whines about those exceptions, and then continues to make them. especially considering that min is by far the most vulnerable of all his loved ones since she can’t channel, has no means of protection against channeling (like mat’s medallion), and also has barely any non-channeling-related combat skills.)

“it came to him that domani people were far less striking when gathered together like this. a flower in a field of weeds was always a sight, but if you passed cultivated flower beds every day, none of them drew your notice.” domani PEOPLE, rand? not just domani women? [files away in my Bi Rand evidence folder, whose other contents include every interaction rand has ever had with mat and with male forsaken] elayne having a bi panic over all the hot topless sea folk vs. rand surrounded by hot domanis and deciding there’s too much prettiness to even notice it anymore: fight

“people did not respond to anger. they did not respond to demands. silence and questions, these were far more effective. indeed, merise - a fully trained aes sedai - wilted before that stare.” “‘what you did, it was a foolish move,’ merise continued. ‘you should-’ ‘do you think me a fool, then?’ rand asked softly. respond to demands with silence, respond to challenges with questions.” this is very sexy of rand

“‘enough.’ he did not yell the word. he spoke firmly, but quietly. he made her feel the full force of his displeasure, his gaze seizing her own.” 😳🥵 can’t believe rand’s been on a baby boy → daddy arc this whole time

rand is carrying the saidin access key to keep saidin and the true power fighting each other so he won’t succumb to the temptation of either. “like two people, both yelling for his attention, they drowned one another out. for the moment.” we also learn later in the chapter that the reason the bore was made was because people wanted to drill into the dark one’s prison for a new power source, but that source turned out to be the dark one himself. a nice and long overdue history reveal! no offense to moiraine and lan but i’d much rather have had a prequel novel about lews therin and the forsaken. we only get their stories in tantalizing little tidbits! i would love it if the show did more with AOL cold opens/flashbacks than the books have done thus far.

RAND THINKS ABOUT AVIENDHA INDIVIDUALLY FOR 2 WHOLE PARAGRAPHS IN A ROMANTIC WAY!!!!! 📣📣📣

“it would be easier to tame the wind itself than to get [aiel] to behave like wetlanders. that made him think of aviendha.” ROMANCE!! “where had she gone, so suddenly? he could feel her through the bond, but it was faint - she was very far away. to the east. what business was there for her in the waste?” come on rand are you so uninvested in your girlfriend’s career that it doesn’t even occur to you maybe she had to go to rhuidean to become a full wise one? you know that’s a thing!

“he had hoped that he would be able to spend some time with her, but she’d pointedly avoided him.” you and me both my dude! but, interesting how you never once thought about her while she was actually around, yet now that she’s gone are claiming that you wanted to spend time with her. swear to god the narrative just Did Not Know how to handle the prospect of rand having romantic thoughts about 2 present girlfriends at the same time. only now that avi is gone is he allowed to think about her and acknowledge that he loves her.

“well, perhaps it was min’s presence that kept her away.” lmao even rand knows that min hates sharing and is A Problem for avi. “perhaps he would be able to keep himself from hurting her before death came. better that aviendha fled. his enemies didn’t know of her yet.” see, the problem with the Min Double Standard is that now it comes off as rand actually loving avi MORE than he loves min, since he’s glad his enemies don’t know of her but has been flaunting min in their faces this whole time. which is an impression i’m certainly not mad about 😌 (also, lanfear absolutely did know about avi, and rand knows that and just a few pages before this wondered whether lanfear could be alive again since ishamael is.)

“dobraine has never given us reason to doubt him. he even gathered support for elayne to take the sun throne!” rand: i trust this guy because he supports my wife. king shit and malewife behavior! also, i noticed him and lews therin thinking in first person plural quite a bit this chapter, which is an interesting development.

“four broad windows behind him - each large enough to walk through - ushered overcast sunlight into the room, and it fell on his back as he sat in the chair and leaned forward, one arm resting across his knees.” Rand Sexily Sprawling In Chairs AND Rand Being Sexily Silhouetted By Conveniently Placed Sunlight at the same time? oh i am being spoiled!

“he already had more problems with women than he knew how to handle.” why did establishing mutual love and commitment and warder bonding with all 3 of his girlfriends not change any aspect of rand’s love life in the slightest. he’s acting like he’s still in the “3 confusing women messing with my head” stage rather than the “3 committed girlfriends whom i know love me” stage. oh right, it’s because Men And Women Can Never Understand Each Other No Matter How Close They Are, how could i have forgotten.

rand continues to be very sexy in this scene 🥵 i hope for the return of Baby Boy Rand someday but by god am i going to enjoy Daddy Rand while it lasts. sentences i never would have expected to type back in eotw jfkjgh

i was today years old when i realized how apt it is for the slutty forsaken (graendal. not that they aren’t all sluts.) to make her base in the slutty country (arad doman)

“gawyn remembered very little of his father - the man had never been much of a father, to him at least” [slaps roof of the trakand siblings] these bad boys can fit so many daddy issues inside them. turns out one of gawyn’s few memories of taringail is overhearing him give galad sexist advice (never trust pretty women or aes sedai, and light help you if you have to face someone who’s both) so that’s fun.

“a few months later, galad would rescue gawyn from drowning in that very pond.” my boys!! we better get Baby Trakands cold opens in the show!

describing how lelaine is pretty in a dangerous way: “she wasn’t pretty like egwene, who made you want to spend time with her.” not gawyn out here with one of the sweetest descriptions of a love interest anyone in the whole series has ever given 🥺 i am still thinking about when egwene saw in his dreams that he sees her as more beautiful and himself as less handsome than they are in reality (in egwene’s opinion). maybe that moment was the origin of my first sparks of Loving Gawyn, now that i’m thinking about it, because we hadn’t seen much of him til then and i remember that that moment Got Me Good.

gawyn’s already figured out he can play lelaine and romanda off each other. smart lad! and he is just SO done with aes sedai, he and mat and rand really could have been buddies in different circumstances. on the other hand, gawyn hating brother-in-law #1 and being hated by brother-in-law #2 as a result is hilarious because family dinners would just be like

“his connection to elayne was the only thing he had with which to bargain, and he had to ration his usefulness to stretch it long. it irked him. elayne wasn’t a bargaining chip, she was his sister! but it was all he had.” baby booooy

more seeds in this chapter of gawyn being all mat-style “egwene’s in over her head and needs me to rescue her” and potentially setting up for him to pull a rescue mission that will be unwelcome to egwene, BUT he’s also noticing the respect the other sisters have for her and is realizing that she’s competent and not a pawn, so that’s good.

“but why did she refuse to allow a rescue? traveling had been rediscovered [so a rescue attempt would be easy]” “he needed to talk to her. then he could judge if her unwillingness to escape came from a fear of putting others in danger, or if it was something else.” over the course of his past 2 chapters, gawyn has advocated for 1) characters all being in the same location, 2) characters actually taking advantage of Traveling, and 3) characters communicating with each other. relatable king!

“gawyn didn’t have a mind for the game of stones lately...the truth was, he’d never been very good at the game in the first place” NOT ME PUTTING THIS EXACT THING IN A FIC MONTHS AGO do i know my boy or do i know my boy!

“he would give no loyalty to the white tower, but neither would he offer it to these rebels.” gawyn has progressed from “can’t decide which side to choose” to “i will simply not choose a side” bless his indecisive ass

“egwene and elayne held his heart and his honor.” ❤️❤️ what’s not to love about gawyn? his entire personality is being indecisive, loving egwene and elayne, and being overly obsessed with rand, which is also MY entire personality.

“rand al’thor. gawyn didn’t believe bryne’s defense of the man. oh, he believed that bryne meant what he said - but he was mistaken. it could happen to the best of people, taken in by the charisma of a creature like al’thor.” okay gawyn. let me get this (not) straight. you’re completely obsessed with rand and also see him as some sort of evil seductive siren with sexy charisma and persuasive powers? is there........is there something you want to share with the class? every time gawyn angsts about Needing To Choose A Side i yearn to make his arc a bisexuality metaphor, don’t tempt me any further sanderson!

but rand IS the sexiest and most fuckable person on the continent, so we can’t blame gawyn for having a confusing lil crush-slash-onesided-homoerotic-rivalry when the entire population of randland does too

gawyn also adds that rand “had fooled elayne herself” come on my man you know your sister better than that! i am DYYYYYYYING for my trakand family reunion! if i could pick only 2 of them to reunite, it would be gawyn and elayne. i need to see them discuss rand!!! and gawyn find out that elayne’s having rand’s babies jkdjfgjh oh my god

“that skill of yours with the sword is no small gift. where do you use it?” kid with veins popping out of his forehead meme and it’s me trying so hard not to turn this into a sex metaphor as part of gawyn’s Choosing A Side bisexuality metaphor

“‘i know you were never as single-minded as your brother. i suppose i should have seen this in you.’” “‘did you question, once?’ gawyn asked.” “‘then what’s the answer? where do you put your trust? whom do i serve?’ ‘i don’t know.’ ‘then why ask in the first place?’ ‘i don’t know the answer because there isn’t one. at least, each person’s answer is their own.’” “gawyn felt as if he didn’t know what the different sides were. let alone which one to pick for himself.” I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH!!! that’s it, i’m reading this arc through The Bi Metaphor Lens from now on and you will all have to suffer through it! now, do i ACTUALLY read gawyn as bi? not really (tho his lil rand obsession sure is some kind of something). but the metaphor!!!!

between Bi Gawyn and Daddy Rand i feel like this recap has been even more unhinged than usual so far. sorry about that. no i’m not. i’m just going back to my roots, my early series liveblogging was SO unhinged.

“‘we must have peace with the seanchan,’ [rand] said. ‘differences notwithstanding.’ ‘differences?’ flinn asked. ‘i don’t rightly think i’d call that a difference, my lord. they want to enslave every one of us, maybe execute us. they think it’s a favor to do either!’” FUCKING THANK YOU FLINN finally somebody acknowledges this! where was this energy in mat’s COT-KOD plotline?

rand asks after lan and nynaeve says “his actions are none of your concern” once again proving the Rand Is Paranoid But Only Because Everyone Keeps Things From Him theme lmao but rand has figured out he’s gone to malkier and says so, and nynaeve does reveal some further info.

“he deserves what he will get, for riding without the rest of us” “his death could serve me well indeed” RAND! show your father some respect!

“a very quiet place, deep inside of him, was struck with worry over his friend. he had to ignore that worry, silence it. but that voice whispered to him. he named you friend. do not abandon him.” 😭😭

“the colors swirled before his eyes, revealing an image of perrin standing by a tent with galad. why was perrin with galad of all people? and when had elayne’s half-brother joined the whitecloaks? the colors changed to mat, riding through the streets of a familiar city. caemlyn? thom was there, with him.” WHAT WHAT WHAT you can’t just drop “perrin is hanging out with galad” and “mat has reached caemlyn (and elayne)” on me out of the blue like this and then not let me see their plotlines!!! first time in my life i have ever been eager to return to perrin’s pov jkfjg also does rand just not remember that galad is also his own half-brother? that connection was truly so wasted, i hope the show actually does something with it.

“rand frowned to himself. he could feel a pull from perrin and mat, both distant. it was their ta’veren natures, trying to draw them together. they both needed to be with him for the last battle.” AND YET (according to what i’ve seen said) THE 3 BOYS ARE NEVER IN A SCENE ALL TOGETHER AGAIN FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES i’m so upset!!!! the entire series was building to the 3 of them needing to be together at the last battle so why the fuck doesn’t it happen???

“[lan] is your friend, rand. light! and what of perrin and mat? do you know where they are? what has happened to them?” “they live.” “how do you know?” “i simply do. and they had better remain alive. i’ll have need of them both before this is over.” “rand! they’re your friends!” “they’re threads in the pattern, nynaeve. i barely know them anymore, and i suspect they would say the same thing of me.” “don’t you care about them?” “care? what i care about is the last battle. what i care about is making peace with the light-cursed seanchan so that i can stop bothering with their squabbles and get to the real battle. beside those cares, a pair of boys from my little village are meaningless.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THIS HURT MY FEELINGS SO BAD

and then rand blows up at nynaeve to the point of instinctively grabbing the access key, and nynaeve gets scared 😭😭😭

it makes me so upset that the majority of rand’s emotional arc/connections is anchored solely in min these days, when his relationships with the other ef4 matter so much more to me and make me feel so much more! because those were the core relationships we were introduced to at the beginning of the series, so by all narrative rules they should have continued to remain core throughout! ESPECIALLY rand and mat - rand spent the majority of book 1 alone with mat, his main motivation in book 2 was to get the dagger to save mat, and he continued to be anchored to mat and have a number of deeply emotional moments with him in books 4-5 (most notably rhuidean + rand using balefire for the first time to save mat’s life + mat’s (and avi’s) death at rahvin’s hands pushing rand over the edge and prompting him to use balefire again + the fact that rand’s Using of mat in tfoh (tricking him into revealing his battle memories) was his first real breaking point and the first thing that pushed him into deciding that he had to become hard and freeze out tears). by all narrative rules mat should have remained one of rand’s most significant relationship anchors throughout the series! and i’m not even speaking only from a cauthor shipping lens there! it’s just straight up narrative rules!

“he only had to keep things balanced a short time longer. then it could end. and he found that he was beginning to look forward to that end as much as lews therin did.” 😭😭😭

amazing how much more invested i am in a rand chapter when min is not present or dwelled on in a significant way at any point during it lmao

“[rand] wore a dark red robe with black dragons embroidered up the arms...though his hair was tousled from sleep, his eyes were alert. he strode into the sitting room, ever the king - even now, long after midnight and just awakened, he walked as if he were absolutely certain of himself.” 🥵🥵 god i cannot WAIT to see all rand’s slutty richboy outfits onscreen

in this chapter, min arrives with rand, has no dialogue at all, and then falls asleep for the rest of the scene. that’s it. why does she exist. she’s literally just an accessory for rand the same as his swords and fancy bathrobes. but min is at her best when she’s spending a scene unconscious and allowing me to forget she’s there, so i’m fine with this.

“stop. do you believe that i can kill you? do you believe that if i simply said the word, your heart would stop beating? i am the dragon reborn. do you believe that i can take your life, or your soul itself, if i so much as will it to happen?” this again! rand is about to make me act up for real!

“rand lowered himself to one knee, cradling the youth’s chin in his hand, staring into his eyes.” god i wish that were me

rand refers to tam by his first name in conversation with nynaeve which feels very strange, i feel like before he always referred to him aloud as “my father”

“many times before, nynaeve had seen affection in [rand’s] eyes when he regarded [min], but this time they were blank.” nice, we love to see that jfkgjh

in all seriousness, this whole convo between rand and nynaeve about the mountain that’s too tall to climb and survive the trip back down is wonderful!!! some of my favorite snippets:

“i continue to wonder why you all assume that i am too dense to see what you find so obvious. yes, nynaeve. yes, this hardness will destroy me. i know.”

“‘but that’s just a story,’ nynaeve said. ‘a legend.’ ‘that’s what i am,’ rand said. ‘a story. a legend. to be told to children years from now, spoken of in whispers.’”

“you all claim that i have grown too hard, that i will inevitably shatter and break if i continue on. but you assume that there needs to be something left of me to continue on. that i need to climb back down the mountain once i’ve reached the top. that’s the key, nynaeve. i see it now. i will not live through this, and so i don’t need to worry about what might happen to me after the last battle. i don’t need to hold back, don’t need to salvage anything of this beaten up soul of mine.”

“i can’t indulge myself. i’ll climb this bloody mountain and face the sun. you all will deal with what comes next. that is how it must be.”

boy, it sure would be a great time for someone to tell rand that he is expecting two babies! that sure would give him a much-needed reason to want to live past the last battle! it sure would be nice! genuinely, this HAS to be the sole reason avi and elayne aren’t allowed to spend any time with him whatsoever in this portion of the series, because the very first second they heard him saying things like this they’d be like “but our babies are on the way and they deserve to know their dad!” and that would be a game-changer for rand (or at least for show!rand who never wanted anything more than to be a stay-at-home dad, book!rand i’m not as certain about).

“the difference between you and cadsuane is that you actually care about me. she only cares about my place in her plans. she wants me to be part of the last battle. you want me to live.” EXACTLY!!! maybe it will become clear eventually, but as of now i just do not understand why cadsuane needed to exist at all in this story, she’s accomplished nothing. “for that, you have my thanks. dream on my behalf, nynaeve. dream for things i no longer can.” 😭😭

happy to say that this mat chapter did, for the most part, spark an enormous amount of joy! perhaps the most joy i’ve gotten from a mat chapter since he saved elayne from the gholam in acos!

first, we learn that mat has not actually reached caemlyn yet, so now i’m thinking that, since you guys have said that TGS focuses on rand and egwene and TOM on mat and perrin, those two books happen roughly concurrently and thus rand’s current plotline is a bit ahead of mat’s - rand is seeing mat in caemlyn, but in mat’s own plotline he’s still en route. so i’m guessing we’ll see how perrin and galad first cross paths later this book or next book!

MAT’S ELABORATE COVER STORIES FOR THE BAND i honestly think this might have been the hardest i’ve laughed while reading WOT hjdkfg usually when i say something made me laugh, i mean that it gave me an internal chuckle, but this time i actually was laughing out loud! for quite some time!

“you’re a new apprentice. thom knows you don’t have any talent, but he took pity on you because your great-aunt - with whom you’ve lived since your parents died in a tragic oxen stampede - took sick of the clover pox and went crazy. she started feeding you table scraps and treated you like the family hound, marks, who’d run away when you were just seven.” “you secretly harbor a love of painting, and you wish you could escape this life of death you’ve committed yourself to. you came through trusair on your way south, rather than taking a more direct route, because you love the mountains. you’re hoping to hear word of your younger brother, whom you haven’t seen in years, and who disappeared on a hunting trip in southern andor.” me crafting in-depth backstories for my sims and then never actually doing any gameplay with them.

this is Exactly the sort of tomfoolery, shenanigans, and hijinks i’ve been missing from mat’s pov in the second half of the series! anybody who says this part was stupid or a waste of time or making mat dumb for comic relief hates fun. maybe it’s not exaaactly something i could picture rj’s mat doing, but it’s hilarious so i don’t care. and plus, the explanation he gives - he’s so tired of being caught by danger unawares that he’s decided to painstakingly plan out every last detail of this scheme - makes sense and justifies it to me.

mat first mentions a twinkle in talmanes’s eyes, then, upon realizing talmanes is making fun of him, thinks “burn that twinkle” and by the light for half a second i really thought the audiobook was about to say “burn that twink”

“he did catch a glimpse of talmanes rolling his eyes. burn the man! there was good drama in those pages!” JDKFJG i think that after the last battle elayne should become mat’s sugar mama and patron of the arts (which is the same thing) and sponsor him to write plays.

“burn it, mat. you’re married now, he told himself. aludra was pretty, though.” i’ve said it before, but mat is absolutely going to cheat on tuon post-canon and they are absolutely going to have their messy divorce/civil war. this man NEEDS an open relationship! and rand’s polycule is right there ready to welcome him!

mat thinks about how he doesn’t know what to call egeanin (who was forcibly renamed leilwin by tuon) because he thinks it’s “foolish to go about changing your name just because someone said you had to” but he doesn’t blame her for “not wanting to rile tuon. she was a bloody stubborn one, tuon was.” because obviously tuon’s renaming of egeanin was just her being stubborn and egeanin not wanting to annoy her, rather than an issue of deeply ingrained brainwashing, hierarchies, and slave culture. sigh.

mat thinks it’s weird that egeanin continues to call herself leilwin even now that tuon is gone, and despite being so close to acknowledging that Something Is Fucked Up With Seanchan Culture And With Tuon Specifically, he concludes, “women! they made no sense, and seanchan women least of all.” sigh. but this was just about my only Sigh portion this chapter i think!

okay, we learn that mat is definitely still planning to produce the dragons for rand’s use! so mat is still planning to go to rand after all! i am content.

“mention of rand brought the colors swirling into mat’s vision, and he suppressed a sigh as he shook them away.” a sigh of longing, perhaps???

“maybe rand could manage costs like these, but mat certainly couldn’t. why, he’d have to dice with the queen of andor herself to find this kind of coin!” i see zero problems here, mat. elayne would LOVE to dice with you! and she and rand would LOVE to take you on as their sugar baby and spoil you with all the money to produce mass weapons you could ever wish for!

“but that was rand’s problem.” mat says fuck it, rand will have to be elayne’s sugar baby instead. “burn him, he’d better appreciate what mat was going through for him.” mat is hoping for a kiss on the lips from rand when they finally reunite (and he will get one).

mat and aludra’s brief flirtation/romance is actually acknowledged! “their eyes met for a moment, and mat realized he’d probably been too curt with her. maybe he was uncomfortable around her. a little. they’d been getting close before tuon. and was that pain, hidden in aludra’s eyes?” wait that’s so sad 😭 aludra deserves better. and mat deserves better.

“he took a deep breath. ‘look, i know that...well, it’s odd how tuon-’ she waved a hand, cutting him off. ‘it is nothing. i have my dragons. you have brought me the chance to create them. other matters are no longer of concern. i wish you happiness.’” 😭

“he felt a strange tugging, as if someone had hooked a fisherman’s line about his insides and was softly - but insistently - pulling on it. rand, is that you, burn you?” oh my god. in a series full of homoerotic ta’veren pull descriptions, this one just might take the cake!

“it was hard not to offend a seanchan. them and the bloody aiel. strange how opposite they could be in many ways, yet the same in so many others.” i’ve thought this too when we’ve seen references to the seanchan’s concept of shame (sei’something i think), an interesting thought i’d love the books to poke at more!

VERIN HAS ARRIVED!! she was straight up putting up “have you seen this man” posters of mat jkfjgjdfg i love her. that’s one way to reel in your local ta’veren.

“‘what do you want?’ he asked. ‘frankly,’ she replied, sighing slightly, ‘what i want, matrim cauthon, is to be cut free from your ta’veren web! do you know how long you’ve forced me to wait in these mountains?’” verin i love you. can’t wait to someday find out what the hell her endgame is and what she’s been up to and trying to accomplish this whole time.

rand arrives at falme and instantly thinks about mat twice (“memories of a time when mat had constantly ribbed him for wearing fine coats, despite the fact that rand tried to avoid them” “fain had led him to falme, bearing the horn of valere and the ruby dagger to which mat had been bound”)

“at falme, the shepherd boy had burned, his ashes scattered and blown away by those ocean winds. from those ashes, the dragon reborn had risen.” 😭😭

“min hadn’t come with him this day.” sentences that make you fistpump. “just a few weeks before, he wouldn’t have been able to keep her from accompanying him, no matter what. now she remained behind without a single protest.” don’t tell me min has actually finally learned her lesson about hindering rand in dangerous situations???

“rand reached down, touching the sword he wore at his waist. it was the curved one, with the scabbard of black, painted with the twisting dragon, red and gold. for more reasons than one, it made him think of the last time he had been in falme. ‘i killed a man with a sword for the first time in this city,’ rand said softly.” THIS MYSTERIOUS NEW SWORD BETTER BE TAM’S SWORD FIXED UP I SWEAR!!!

rand is having more issues than ever with losing himself amid lews therin, and now nynaeve asks if he’s okay and he says “we are fine” continuing the trend of more frequent use of first person plural. iiiiiinteresting.

(now in tuon pov) “his clothing was otherwise unadorned. as if he saw no need to distract from his face with finery.” rand is hot shit and he knows it

tuon wonders if the rumors that he grew up as a farmboy were just planted to make him seem like a man of the people, because he has such strong Noble Bearing. i love that she doesn’t even know the dragon reborn is her husband’s childhood friend. mat is good at keeping secrets and holding back info about rand from untrustworthy people, unlike many other characters!

“[marath’damane] were unnatural. dangerous. tuon could no more grow comfortable around an unleashed damane than she could tolerate having a grassfang twisted around her ankle, its tongue tickling her skin.” YOU ARE MARATH’DAMANE!!! WHAT A NARRATIVE WASTE!!!

we learn that the seanchan call men who can channel “tsorov’ande doon,” Black-Souled Tempests, which is maybe the sexiest title/group name i’ve ever heard in my life (other than prince of ravens which deserves to go along with a better spouse for mat)

“his words sounded a great deal like a demand. tuon had shown him great respect by placing him at her level, but one did not give orders to the imperial family.” “‘we expected to find a united kingdom, ready to praise us and lend us armies for the last battle. instead, we found a fractured land that had forgotten its oaths and prepared for nothing...it does not bring us pleasure to kill you, no more than it brings a parent joy to discipline a child who has gone astray.’” the seanchan make me so mad i can’t

“‘no,’ al’thor said, interrupting tuon. ‘but surely you can see that one ruler, with-’ ‘no,’ he said, softly, yet more firmly. more dangerous. ‘i will not see another person chained by your foul leashes.’ ‘foul? they are the only way to deal with those who can channel!’ ‘we have survived without them for centuries.’ ‘and you have-’ ‘this is not a point i will concede,’ al’thor said.” 👏👏👏👏👏 SEXY!!!! maybe rand’s seanchan alliance can have some rights, unlike perrin’s where he cheerfully sold off hundreds of shaido channelers into slavery.

tuon decides she needs to throw him off and says “‘perhaps [we could talk about] something we have in common.’ ‘i doubt there is much in that area that is relevant.’ ‘oh? and what of matrim cauthon?’ yes, that shocked him. the dragon reborn blinked, mouth opening slightly.” why does this give off vibes of “woman about to confront her husband’s lover with the fact that she knows about their affair” jdkjfgh

rand, upon hearing that mat kidnapped tuon: “well. i trust that mat had his reasons. he always does. and they seem so logical to him at the time.” trusting and exasperatedly fond boyfriend!

tuon thinks that the prospect of teaching mat to live properly according to seanchan high blood ways “seemed a shame to her - for reasons she could not explain to herself.” is this a sign that she likes him as he is? could there be hope that tuon has actually developed 1% as a character? very interesting.

NYNAEVE DEFENDING MAT 😭😭😭😭😭 AND RAND TOO!!! i simply HAVE to quote the conversation in full because it gave me so many emotions!

tuon: what type of man is he, this matrim cauthon? i must admit, i found him to be something of an indolent scoundrel, too quick to find excuses to avoid oaths he’d taken. nynaeve: don’t speak of him that way! rand: nynaeve... nynaeve: don’t hush me, rand al’thor. he’s your friend too. matrim cauthon is one of the finest men you will ever know, your highness, and i won’t listen to ill speech of him. what’s right is right. rand: nynaeve is right. he is a good man. mat may seem a little rough at times, but he is as solid a friend as one could hope for. though he does grumble about what his conscience makes him do. nynaeve: he saved my life. rescued me at great cost and personal danger when no other thought to come for me. yes, he drinks and gambles far too much. but don’t speak of him as if you know him, because you don’t. his heart is golden, under it all. if you’ve hurt him... tuon: hurt him? he kidnapped me! rand: if he did so, then there was cause.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i need to go lie down for an hour! this was so much!!!!! they love him so much!!!! nynaeve loves her kids whom nobody but her is allowed to criticize!!! also, get out of here with your fandom “mat is a bad friend to rand” narrative, even rand himself AT HIS WORST AND MOST SELF-ISOLATED AND UNTRUSTING says that mat is as solid a friend as one could hope for!!!

rand: mat’s just a thread in the pattern, i barely know him anymore, he’s not important rand when someone insults mat: mat is the best man i’ve ever known actually

oh my god cinematic parallels to show!rand “if i wanted a man i could do better” but then going “mat is the best man i’ve ever known actually” when egwene insults him in 1x07

crying at rand not once but TWICE going “well if - IF - it’s true that mat kidnapped you, then i know he was justified” we are 12 books into the series and rand is STILL taking a hard “mat has done nothing wrong ever in his life i know this and i love him” stance!!! my heart is very full right now!!! this and mat’s frequent thoughts about rand last chapter have been an absolute cauthor FEAST compared to past books lmao

but a second later rand says “mat doesn’t matter” and gets them back on topic, so he loses a small Good Boyfriend point for that, but he DOES have important shit to do so i won’t hold it against him.

“he leaned forward, trapping tuon’s eyes with his own. who could look away from those intense gray eyes, like steel? ...‘all that matters is need. and i need you.’ he leaned forward further, looming. his form didn’t change, but he suddenly seemed a hundred feet tall. he spoke in that same calm, piercing voice, but there was a threat to it now. an edge. ‘you must call off your attacks,’ he said, nearly a whisper. ‘you must sign a treaty with me. these are not requests. they are my will.’” 😳😳😳😳😳🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

gawyn is onto something, rand’s superpower literally IS just being so sexy and commanding that nobody can think of denying his will. once again i say, ta’veren aren’t real you all just want to fuck rand.

“tuon found herself longing, suddenly, to obey him. to please him.” first of all, mood, most relatable tuon has ever been, second of all, not even tuon is immune to Daddy Rand jdkfjg although in a minute she actually does manage to tell him no and send him away with no alliance.

we’ve now heard several times from several different characters about a VISIBLE darkness emanating from rand, which is super interesting!!! a consequence of using the true power maybe?

and tuon is now Officially the empress (she’d previously held off on declaring herself bc she had to meet TDR as an equal and the empress can’t meet anyone as an equal), and she’s planning to attack the white tower as a strike against rand. uh oh!!!!

another delightful mat chapter! while his first chapter this book was veeeery rough, i’ve actually really enjoyed the other ones! the zombie town did feel like a filler episode, but a fun one rather than an “oh my god we’re wasting so much time getting sidetracked” one. i was right to hope that separating him from tuon would improve him 200% lmao

verin says that mat pulled her to him, mat tries to protest that he’s “barely anything” ta’veren-wise compared to rand, and verin replies “you can’t hide your light in his shadow” romance! poetry! i love that line.

“‘it couldn’t have been rand’s fault, since i’d been able to leave that one easily.’ ‘rand?’ mat asked, dismissing yet another flash of colors. ‘you were with him?’ verin nodded. ‘how...did he seem?’ mat said. ‘is he...you know...’ ‘mad?’ verin asked. mat nodded. ‘i’m afraid so,’ verin said, lips downturning slightly. ‘i think he’s still in control of himself, however.’ ‘bloody one power,’ mat said.” as SOON as he learns verin has seen rand recently, mat wants to know not what rand is up to, but how he’s doing 😭😭😭 he’s so worried about him!!! and is upset with the one power for allegedly driving rand mad!!

“many would like to blame his temperament on saidin, but to do that is to ignore the incredible stresses that we’ve settled on that poor boy’s shoulders.” VERIN BEING THE SMARTEST MOST OBSERVANT MOST EMPATHETIC CHARACTER IN THE SERIES!!! HAS ANYONE ELSE ACKNOWLEDGED THIS UNTIL NOW??? wheel of time: 14 books. wheel of time if verin and lini were rand’s advisors and therapists: 1 book.

mat accepts that rand cleansed saidin without any hesitation or skepticism! “i guess i just think i should feel different, or something. the whole world up and changed on us, didn’t it?” i swear mat is like the only character to treat the cleansing like the huge deal it is! everyone else either didn’t believe it or was kinda like “oh whatever,” even rand and nynaeve.

“you didn’t ask where i got this [incredibly accurate drawing of mat].” “you’re aes sedai. i figured you...you know, saidared it.” JKDFJGKJHKJDF another instance of “maybe dumber than something rj’s mat woul’ve said/done but it’s funny so i don’t care”

obsessed with verin and mat’s dynamic. i would read an entire series of them being travel buddies. especially delightful bc it’s one of the few Mat vs. Aes Sedai scenes that actually feels like Mat vs. Aes Sedai rather than Man vs. Woman.

verin says she will take mat and the band to caemlyn tonight if mat will accept a mysterious sealed paper, not open it for ten days, and then follow its instructions. she is SO unnecessarily shady and extra, i love her. mat doesn’t want to promise to do something without knowing what it will be, so they compromise to mat won’t have to follow the paper’s instructions as long as he remains in caemlyn 30 days so verin can find him again and relieve him of the letter (since she might not need him to go through with its contents). i can’t wait to find out what’s in the letter!!

“was elayne in caemlyn? he’d worried about her, since her escape from ebou dar.” 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ MATLAYNE RIGHTS!!!! and he was just thinking that 50 days (verin’s initial price) was a long time to wait, but it wouldn’t be so bad to do it in caemlyn vs. on the road. which i’m interpreting as he wouldn’t mind sitting around for 50 days if he could spend them with elayne 😌

“if she was there, he might at least be able to get production started quickly on aludra’s dragons.” mat is thinking elayne would help in terms of cost, but we know that she’s something of an inventor and a military strategist herself, so oh boy what if i get to FINALLY see mat and elayne geeking out about inventions together the way i’ve always dreamed!!!

“thirty days, but at the end of them, i can go.” “or you can open the letter after ten days and do what it says. one of the two, matrim. i have your word?” “you do. but i’m not going to open the bloody letter.” i’m foreseeing an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode title card: Mat Opens The Bloody Letter

mat sees that verin is carrying around a whole stack of sealed letters just like his jkdjfg what the FUCK is her game!! she’s just making up a bunch of fake letters to ensnare ta’veren with! i love her so much.

“the death of tuon” actually refers to tuon the daughter of the nine moons “dying” and being reborn as fortuona the empress. see, this COULD have been the moment where we think zuko has changed for the better but then he goes back to the fire nation palace to embrace his prince life and we think all is lost, but tuon has not changed one iota since we first met her so no emotional effect is accomplished by this rebirth whatsoever.

i had to read an entire min pov chapter and i’m being SO brave about it

lmao in all seriousness it wasn’t bad because min has so little personality and narrative relevance that she fades into the background of her own narration. in reality this chapter was Entirely about rand.

min says that she’s been dedicating more time to her studies “partly because she didn’t know what else to do” LMAO even she admits that she’s narratively useless!

“she liked to think that she was capable of taking care of herself. and she’d begun to think of herself as a last defense for rand. min had discovered just how useful she was as a ‘line of defense.’ she’d been about as useful as a child! in fact, she’d been a hindrance, a tool for semirhage to use against him. she’d been indignant when rand had suggested sending her away, giving him a tongue-lashing for even suggesting it. send her away! to keep her safe? that was foolishness! she could take care of herself. so she had thought. now she saw that he’d been right.” oh my god min showing self-awareness? in MY wheel of time? it’s more likely than you think! wow! she actually gets +1 point from me for this. since she started racking up negative points in tfoh, her positive points have been this, telling rand that elayne and avi love him too when she could have kept him to herself, ditto for making him talk to them in caemlyn in WH........uhhh yeah i’m drawing a blank on anything else.

min’s solution is to study and try to stay out of rand’s way. you know, if you’re so worried about hindering him and being a tool people could use against him, you could ask him to make you a gateway to caemlyn to hang out with elayne. Just A Thought. this is now the other side of rand’s constant “i’m too weak to send min away” whining: both parties acknowledge that staying together and flaunting their relationship is a problem that endagers the other person and they love to angst about it, but neither actually makes any effort at doing anything to resolve that problem.

“he looked at her differently now. when those eyes of his studied her, did they see only a liability?” that’s what MY eyes see! min, if you’re so worried about this why don’t you just talk to him. everybody says that min is so good at being rand’s emotional support but they never actually TALK about ANYTHING that’s bothering either of them. the ONE time they’ve done that in a truly meaningful way in the past 6 books is when they talked about rand’s ishamael nightmare and plans to break the seals earlier in this book.

we learn a little more about rand’s mysterious new sword: it was found “beneath the submerged statue” (maybe that was mentioned when we first saw the sword, i already forget) and feels “so old” and is power-forged and doesn’t have a heron mark. COULD it be tam’s heron-marked sword re-power-forged into a different-looking sword? or could it be callandor revamped maybe?

“min didn’t care what fashion dictated, [ramshalan the domani lord] looked ridiculous. like a disheveled peacock.” min you have NO ground to stand on when it comes to ridiculous fashion that makes people look like peacocks.

rand’s so annoyed when min and nynaeve both don’t understand his ancient history reference. mat would’ve gotten it! reason #438475 why mat should replace min.

sulin’s here??? what the fuck??? i thought she was with perrin??? did someone in perrin’s party send her to rand through a gateway and i wasn’t paying attention and missed it, or is this a Sanderson Inconsistency? well, i’m glad sulin’s with rand and wish she had been all along, so i’m not complaining.

“nynaeve wouldn’t get anything useful out of rand, not when he was in this kind of mood. they would just have to see what he revealed.” once again min getting failing marks in Actually Making An Effort To Communicate With Her Partner, No Matter What Sort Of Mood He’s In. “rand turned, looking at nynaeve. standing on the other side of him, min couldn’t see what was in his face, but she could see nynaeve grow pale. it was her own fault. couldn’t she sense how on edge rand was?” so min’s approach is to pipe down and/or tell rand only what he wants to hear when he’s being difficult, rather than to challenge or push back against him? that explains so much.

“cadsuane held me in a box, min. though cadsuane’s box had walls that were invisible, it was as binding as any that ever held me. her tongue was far more painful a rod than any that was taken to my skin. i see that now.” he’s RIGHT tho! this whole chapter is one long “narrative trying to make me feel that rand is Going Too Far but actually he’s right.”

such as rand balefiring the whole fortress out of existence to kill graendal, because he knows she’s far cleverer than he and he’d have no hope of besting her if they were to come face to face. yes, balefire is bad, and yes, lots of innocent people were killed, but honestly what else was he supposed to do? this WAS the most surefire and efficient way to kill her. and as nynaeve says, all the people in that fortress are so heavily under compulsion that a regular attack on the fortress would’ve resulted in them all dying anyway in their fanatic attempts to protect graendal (or maybe they would’ve been so warped by compulsion that even if graendal died and the compulsion lifted they’d be beyond saving, like the boy in the other chapter). now i’m thinking of the Central Series Theme of i medici my beloved, “sometimes you have to do bad in order to do good.”

i will say that, while in-universe this was the most surefire and efficient way, narratively speaking it is disappointing we don’t see an actual rand vs. graendal faceoff! but then, a number of other forsaken (asmodean) have also met anticlimactic ends (asmodean). unless it will turn out that graendal did escape the balefire after all? hmmmmmm

and this is rand’s biggest use of balefire yet, so there will no doubt be some real bad consequences on reality/the pattern from him burning so much of it out of existence. in that sense i will acknowledge he went too far. but also he’s right that balefire is the only way to kill forsaken permanently since the dark one can just reverse normal death.

“min felt at her neck, where the bruises of rand’s hand on her neck hadn’t yet faded.” literally why the fuck didn’t you ask for healing though. this is going to be my Extremely Minor Point That I Get Irrationally Annoyed About (same with elayne being sad that her bathwater had gone cold in a previous book when she could’ve just channeled to heat it up jfkgj THESE are the only kinds of lore inconsistencies/powers not being made use of i care about)

“how do you fight someone smarter than yourself? the answer is simple. you make her think that you are sitting down across the table from her, ready to play her game. then you punch her in the face as hard as you can.” why is this so funny jdkjfg i’m just picturing rand sitting down to play chess with a girl and just fucking DECKING her

“you have served me well, ramshalan. i will forgive you for boasting to lords vivian and callswell that you could manipulate me however you wished.” “my lord! i had too much wine that night, and-” “hush. as i said, you have served me well this day. i will not execute you. you will find a village two days’ walk to the south.” 🥵 oh to be told “hush” by Daddy Rand

“i did them a favor.” “a favor? rand, you used balefire! they were burned out of existence!” “as i said. a favor. sometimes i wish the same blessing for myself.” i’m so sorry rand but sometimes your emo lines are just so insanely emo that i start laughing instead of being sad. sorry.

“‘i wish moiraine were here,’ nynaeve muttered softly, then froze, as if surprised to have heard herself say that.” AWWWWW big “i need a real adult” energy lmao

“‘handle’ rand? that was another problem. nynaeve and cadsuane were both so concerned with handling that they failed to see that it might be best to help him instead.” as if min is not CONSTANTLY “handling” rand rather than helping him (see: her whole attitude during the far madding trip when she was burning his mail because she didn’t trust him not to do something stupid when he read it, tattling on his secret plans to cadsuane because she didn’t trust him to know what he was doing and be able to take care of himself, threatening to beat him AND to stab him when he wouldn’t listen to her)

and exhibit a, she’s like “aaaaahh i’m so worried about rand someone needs to make sure he’s doing okay” and then just fuckin spends the whole night tattling on him to cadsuane instead of, i don’t know, going to find rand and make sure he’s doing okay! like yeah rand IS too far gone at this point for attempts at comfort to be effective, but still. she could at least TRY. she’s always THINKING about how worried she is about rand but never actually DOING anything about it. just now, for example, she’s all worried in her narration about the effect that this balefire war crime had on rand’s soul, but while rand is there min does not say a SINGLE WORD to him about it, she just stands there silently angsting while NYNAEVE is doing all the work of trying to make rand see that what he did was wrong and that he’s going down a dark path.

“whatever the plan, someone would need to watch out for rand. his deed this day would be destroying him inside, no matter what he proclaimed. there were plenty of others worrying about what he would do at the last battle. it was her job to get him to that last battle alive and sane, with his soul in one piece.” terrible for two reasons, 1) literally explicitly confirming that min’s sole narrative function is to be rand’s emotional support animal, and 2) it’s another example of the narrative TELLING me over and over again that min is such great emotional support to rand but never actually SHOWING me. and the majority of the fandom also believes that she’s the only one who was able to anchor him and save him from himself etc. but it’s just because the books are constantly telling us she’s doing it but not backing it up with actual actions on her part! she always worries about rand but doesn’t actually talk to him about it! she thinks about how she needs to be there for him but when she’s actually in his presence she either stays silent and lets him do whatever without providing any commentary or advice or she bullies and browbeats and Handles him just the same way she here criticizes nynaeve and cadsuane for doing!

update for something i just thought of: wouldn’t this be just the perfect time for min to wish that elayne and avi were here? if my partner had two other partners and was having an extremely bad time of it mental health-wise, i would Absolutely be wishing for their other two partners to be there with me to help me support them! but of course, since min hates sharing and considers herself rand’s Real partner and the others his sidepieces, this never occurs to her.

cadsuane says nynaeve needs to find perrin!!! maybe we will get a reunion!!!!! oh i’m so excited!!

the prospect of nynaeve-perrin and mat-elayne reunions are on the horizon, and overall this section gave me such wonderful cauthor and matlayne crumbs that i’m going to focus on those so i can go out of this recap on a high note 😌

#wot #wot book spoilers

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legless-fish-on-rollerskates · 4 years ago

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All the morons trying to claim that Dean wasn't saying anything to Cas because he was holding back slurs or something equally ridiculous... what show have you been watching? Surely not Supernatural. Like, yeah, Dean had some internalized shit for a while (mostly cause of how he was raised, let's be real), but this isn't season fucking one. Dean's in his goddamn forties now guys.

But you still think Dean Winchester is homophobic? Let's examine the evidence then, shall we?

1. Aaron Bass: Dean was flustered because he's not used to being hit on by dudes, but he was completely respectful. And he was alone, too. It wasn't like he was trying to "hide his homophobia" from Sam. He could've said whatever he wanted in that moment without anyone ever knowing, and he chose to awkwardly walk backward and wish Aaron a nice day. Then later, when they're working with him, Dean says nothing about it (other than a quick "he was my gay thing" to Sam), doesn't make it weird, and talks to him exactly the same way he would talk to anyone else.

2. Jesse and Ceasar: Dean's surprised when he realizes that they're married, again because he's not really used to it and so he made the wrong assumptions (which I will point out is really really normal, it happens all the time even between queer people, because heteronormativity is very much a thing in real life). But what does he do when he finds out? He asks them about their marriage - with genuine curiosity. What's it like to be in a relationship with a hunter, is it hard, all that jazz. Never asks about the fact that they're both men, none of those gross "so who's the woman" questions, literally just. Talking to two married hunters. That's it. Then later, when they're working, he never once questions their capability as hunters or suggests that they're weak in any way. There's no "you're less 'manly' because you're gay" mindset at all. And at the end of the episode he's genuinely happy for them, two hunters who managed to get out of the life and retire together.

There's lots of other examples (several male cops have been obviously into him over the years, his reaction to Jody talking about Claire and Kaia, all the subtext surrounding Lee, etc.) but for my last one for now, let's not forget...

3. Charlie fucking Bradbury: Arguably Dean's best friend besides Cas (no I haven't forgotten about Benny, I love Benny, but he was part of a very specific chapter of Dean's life and that chapter is done). We've known she was a lesbian from the get-go, and Dean takes it in stride when he finds out, immediately improvising to coach her through some painfully awkward flirting so she can get into the office ("you've just come home, and Scarlett Johansson is waiting for you"). And yes, there's the whole "I feel dirty" "yeah so do I" bit there, but that's clearly established as a joke, plus the guy was gross - as someone who is attracted to both women and men, I would feel dirty after flirting with him too.

The next few times we see Charlie, she and Dean are geeks and dweebs together, Dean is having more fun than we've seen in years, and we see him be a really good friend - in some ways, a better friend than he is to Cas. Charlie talks to him a little bit about girls, they LARP, they go shopping together, Dean comforts her when she has to let go of her mom. When she's killed, he gets so upset he goes on a murderous rampage (maybe not the most healthy way to deal with greif, but nonetheless showing how much she mattered to him). When he sees an alternate version of her in trouble he's immediately ready to risk his own life to help her even though she doesn't know him. He loved her like a sister, and he never once expressed any issues with her sexuality.

So let's go back to Cas. Cas is in love with Dean. Not much of a surprise there, he's said it before. But this is the first time Dean understands that that's what he's saying. It makes sense that he's a little stunned, especially considering that Cas is also saying that he's about to die. I mean, if your best friend of twelve years told you one day that they've been in love with you all along, that just knowing you has irrevocably changed them for the better, and that also by the way telling you this means they're going to die, mightn't you be rendered a tad speechless?

Dean does not hate Cas for this. Not at all. Because whether or not Dean is bi, whether or not he reciprocates, Cas is still his best friend. We've seen how hard Dean grieves every time Cas dies. We know how much Cas matters to him. Of all the shit they've put each other through, there's absolutely no logical reason for this to be the thing that damages their friendship beyond repair. Not after everything. No fucking way.

Dean says nothing because he doesn't know what to say, because he's still processing Cas's confession but also already grieving and blaming himself for Cas's death. The way he breaks down at the very end of the episode? That's not a man who's disgusted. That's a man who's shattered.

How dare you try to simplify this incredibly complex and emotional moment into Dean being a dick. How dare you. It's positively insulting. The entire point of Cas's speech was that Dean is so much more than that. If you can't see that, than I'm sorry, but you're missing the whole message of the show.

Supernatural is about family and sacrifice. It's about free will, making your own choices. And it's about being more than just who you're supposed to be, going beyond what other people want or assume. All the depth beneath the surface. That's the show. That's why we're still watching after all this time. Because it means something important. Something relevant. Something real.

Don't you fucking discredit that.

(thank you for coming to my TED talk)

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jangdeok-su · 3 years ago

Note

hello! could you do a writing about oc and deok su being the two last playing the last game (squid game), then they stop the game and go away with the money?

I allowed myself to modify the request a little because in my head it seemed to me the logical continuation of things, I hope that you will like anyway

Deok-Su and you during the last game (squid game)

you are both entering this sand field, the markings on the ground indicated that you had to play the squid game, the atmosphere was strange

since the start of the game, you both promised each other that you would leave alive on this shit, and with the money, since the start of this adventure you had made so much sacrifice

miraculously you were the two finalists, you think back to all those times when you almost died and especially all those where he almost died, when you didn't choose him for the marbles game

"out of the question that you die today" Deok-Su launches you from the other side of the field, it plunges you back into reality, and you hear the master of the game dictated the rules that you had already understood by entering on this field

"don't think I'm going to let you lose" you answer him by winking at him, during the draw, it had been chosen that he attack and that you defend

the game begins, Deok-Su takes a deep breath and he steps forward to the nearest circle on one leg, you watch him hopping and it makes you smile, the fact that you are only the two of you takes the pressure off put the other candidates

you approach him to prevent him from crossing the neck of the squid draw on the ground, "you know I couldn’t hurt you" you gently blow him, he raises his face towards you and he seems to panic

"I don’t know how to escape both of us," he finally said to you, "none of us can hurt each other or win the game," he’s so freaked out that he’s looking around him

the seconds go by and yet no solution reaches your minds, "it’s a game where no one else can win" screams Deok-Su by hitting the sand with his feet

"If we can’t win both then we’ll lose together," you yell at Deok-Su before you throw yourself at him, in the incomprehension he lets himself go but rejects you with his arms asking you why you do this

"let go, Deok-Su, if they think we're the two dead they'll come get us and then we'll attack them," you say in his ear as you continue your fictitious brawl

he smiles saying that it is you who have always been the smartest of the couple, he tries hard to hit you gently but he does not measure his strength and manages to make you bleed in several places

"really sorry my love, I hope you will forgive me when you go out" he says to you while continuing to mimic your fight, you smile at him in agreement and you drop to the ground while gesturing for him to do the same

once the two are bloodied, you mimic a loss of consciousness and he immediately goes on, your two bodies are stranded on the sand, you hold your breath to prevent the movement of your belly from being noticed

the minutes seem to be hours before movement is heard in this room, two guards are heading towards you, arming their machine guns and their black masks

Deok-Su's breathing starts to get stronger, you feel his impatience to get rid of these guards, once the guards are near you, you hear a voice: "are you conscious?" and kicking you to get you moving

you don't move but Deok-Su gets up and mows down the guard near him, you do the same to prevent the guard near you from shooting at him, the two guards on the ground, Deok-Su has no trouble take his gun out of his hand and shoot him

unfortunately you have a little more trouble, a few bullets go off in the room, none of them hit you and Deok-Su shoots him screaming "never do this again asshole", you take his gun and Deok-Su asks you if all is good

you are recovering from your emotions, but you don't have time to hang around, he takes you by the hand to run faster towards the door, your body has trouble keeping up with all these emotions but Deok-Su seems so determined

he kicks down the exit door with a hard kick, "are you sure everything is okay?" he asks you, "hang on, I promise you it's over soon", he tries to reassure you but he's as terrified as you are

you venture into these multicolored corridors and you hear the alarm sounding and footsteps seeming to come from all sides, "it's done, we are dead" you start to throw when you pass for the 3rd time on this same staircase

tears start to rise when you hear gunshots sound towards your position, “pull yourself together, we have to go to the dorm, the money is there”, you try to catch your breath and follow Deok -Su who seems to know where he is going

"look it's over there" he says to you, showing you the metal door of your dormitory which was open, you go there as quickly as your legs will allow you

once in the room you catch your breath, and you rush over to Deok-Su to kiss him, "you're really amazing Deok-Su" he smiles but reminds you it's not over yet

he aims his gun at the pig containing all the money you've coveted so much, but the bullets ricochet off his glass shield, the smile on Deok-Su's face fades to face the terror

the stray bullets crash on the walls or on the ground, he empties his magazine desperately, when you understand that it is over your gaze goes towards Deok-Su, you contemplate him knowing that it is your last minutes with him

"didn't you think that this pig was installed above you without any protection?" heard behind you, when you turn around you discover a person with a face masked by a black mask different from the others

when he also notices Deok-Su is pointing his gun at him yelling insults at him and the other guards who accompany him, he shoots desperately towards them and manages to injure some of them, but his muffled cry points out that a guard had shot Deok-Su

when you notice the pool of blood in which he bathes you rush towards him to take him in your arms, "hang on, don't go now!" your tears are running down her face that seems to be getting whiter and whiter

"well done my love, that means you won the game" he tells you laughing, but his face twists in pain, "I'm really sorry, I really thought we could win together" you whisper -he one last time "no, no, no, stay still I beg you, I won't win anything if I lose you" but when his hands loosened the weapon, you understood that he was gone

you scream in pain in this room where you had promised to end up together, you collapse on her body which finally seemed to be at peace, "how touching, you both wanted to be happy, but that means that 'we have a winner of our game"

your jaw tightens when you hear his words, you take the weapon that is towards Deok-Su and you point it at the master of the game, but before you are the time to turn around you see what seems to you to be a long white tunnel

you don't hear a noise anymore, you don't feel anything, you just know that you are near Deok-Su's body and that is enough for you, the tunnel is getting tighter and tighter, you seem to be finally at peace after all these weeks pass in this nightmares

you realize that it's over for you too but ultimately you prefer this end rather than being rich without him, it's only a matter of minutes before you find him again you know it deep inside you

#jang deok su x reader #deok su #deok su x reader #jang deok su #squid game #squid game imagines #squid game x reader #player 101 #deok-su

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years ago

Text

Begone, Bitch

Prompts: Hi ! I just wanted to say that i love your stories and the way you write the characters ! If you want, could you write about Virgil being comforted by the other sides, or him getting hurt while protecting the others ? - anon

I am beyond grateful for every fic you write, you are so good at pushing all the right emotional buttons to just make my entire day. I don't want to be greedy since you already make so much good content, but in 'Lie to Me' there was that little one off scene in the kitchen where Virgil pushes Janus behind him to 'protect ' him from Roman and I *cannot* stop thinking about it. I would die for a whole fic of Virgil protecting Janus(and the others, but mostly Janus, I like when people are sweet to the snake boy) from danger by physically shielding him with his body. Overprotective Virgil is my favorite. So this is a prompt/request but only if you really really want to <3 And thank you for writing such wonderful fic. - awitchbravestheverge

Ah yes more opportunities to write in Virgil's narration style.

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none, not really. Some creepy shadow shit from the Subconcious and Virgil gets a little hurt but nothing graphic

Pairings: platonic found family babey

Word Count: 4504

The Subconscious is a nasty piece of work. It’s not quite powerful enough to overtake the Mindscape by itself, Roman and Remus do too good of a job holding the barriers in the Imagination, but that doesn’t mean little shits don’t worm their way through every now and then. Guess who gets the fantastic job of being alert to each and every single one of them?

No fucking prizes for guessing who.

For the most part, Virgil’s able to work undetected. Or, well, no, the others will see him doing shit but they don’t know that’s what he’s doing. He just has to stand between them and whatever gross slimy black thing has crawled its way up from the depths of the Subconscious and it’ll get absorbed. Part of Thomas’s background anxiety until he can banish back to the hellhole from whence it came.

That doesn’t always mean it’s…painless.

Some of them are fine. Some of them are like little misty bits that just putter around where they’re not fucking supposed to be and Virgil can just pluck them out of the air and stuff them into the pockets of his hoodie and wait. These ones really like to bother Patton, for some reason.

Patton’s baking today, cinnamon sugar muffins. He’s humming to himself as he bustles about the kitchen with that weird boundless energy of his that makes everyone want to think about nothing but sunshine. Ruins the hell out of Virgil’s gloomy emo image but hey, fresh muffins. Sacrifices must be made somewhere.

“Did you want to help, Virgil, or are you fine with just sitting there?”

Virgil blinks, having zoned out after the third time watching one of the containers almost fall over. “Nah, I’m good.”

Patton shrugs. “If you change your mind…”

“I won’t, Pat, I’m good. You’re doing great.”

“Aw, thanks!”

Virgil opens his mouth to say something else when he sees a little grey thing twisting in the air next to Patton’s head. He suppresses a sigh and reaches out, careful to make sure Patton’s back is turned as he snags the pesky little thing and whips it away. He stuffs his hand in his pocket as soon as Patton turns around.

“What was that?”

“What was what,” Virgil asks, blinking innocently as he squeezes the icy thing in his pocket, “what’re you talking about?”

Ah, it’s the hands-on-the-hips dad pose today. “I saw you reach for something, mister, now what did you do?”

“Don’t worry about it.” The misty little shit shrivels and disappears, leaving an ice-cold sting on his hand out of sight. “It’s fine.”

“Show me your hands.”

“What?”

“Show me your hands, Virgil.”

Virgil sighs and pulls the unstung hand out of his pocket. “See,” he says, waving it for good measure, “nothing to see here.”

Patton just raises an eyebrow. “And what about the other one?”

“C’mon, Pat—“ he sighs when both of Patton’s eyebrows go up— “fine, here.”

Patton’s eyes widen when he sees the mark on Virgil’s palm. He rushes forward instantly, cradling the injured hand and reaching for a towel. Conveniently, he gets one that was quite near where the misty thing had been floating.

“You could’ve told me you were hurt,” he says softly, tending to the sting with such tenderness that Virgil almost believes it’s something to worry about, “I would’ve helped.”

“But it’s fine, Pat,” Virgil sighs, “I could’ve dealt with it.”

“I know, I know.” Patton gives the hand one last dab with the towel before pronouncing it good enough. “But it’s never a crime to let us help you, kiddo.”

The corner of Virgil’s mouth tugs up. “Thanks, Pat.”

“Oh, of course, kiddo. Now you sit tight, the muffins won’t be another ten minutes.”

“Can’t wait.”

Sometimes the Subconscious decides it’s bored of letting just the little misty bastards out and lets out the fucking ooze.

Have you ever seen Venom? Know how the symbioses move and how weird it is to look at?

Yeah, it kinda looks like that, just without the gay domesticity and mutual pining.

Nah, this ooze is mindless, just wants to—well, it doesn’t want anything, it just gets fucking everywhere. Makes it real hard to think sometimes, messes everything up.

Really likes fucking with Logan. Which first off, is not allowed. Don’t fuck with Logan. Don’t fuck with any of them, Virgil can and will kick your ass, but especially don’t fuck with Logan. Remus will tear you apart and no one will stop him. Except for Logan. Maybe. ‘Cause he’s nice like that.

Anyway, Virgil gets a weird tingle between his shoulders when there’s an oozy bitch up and about. He’s sitting on the couch, minding his own damn business, but then there’s that itch between his shoulders and he perks his head up.

Logan sits in a chair, alternating between scrolling on his laptop and making notes in one of his many notebooks. Virgil frowns, looking around, seeing if there’s any goo to keep track of, only to come up with nothing. Huh.

“Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

Logan tilts his head, concerned. “Are you alright? You look worried.”

He shakes his head, still squinting around the room. “Weird feeling, that’s it.”

“Will you let me know if it gets unbearable?” Virgil nods. “Thank you. Well, I’m going to get some more coffee, would you like any?”

“Uh, yeah, sure, L, that’d be great.”

Logan nods and stands, going to the kitchen. Leaving his laptop unattended on the coffee table.

Virgil watches as a truly massive ooze slides out from between the couch cushions and toward the laptop.

Not today you slimy bastard.

Unfortunately, he’s just a second too slow as a tendril from the ooze touches the laptop and yanks, pulling the laptop off the coffee table and sending it hurtling toward the floor. Virgil bites back a curse and lunges. His hand grabs the ooze just as his arm catches the laptop.

“Get back here, you little shit,” he grunts, opening his hand and using his power to suck the frothing fucker into his arm where it can go the fuck back to the Subconscious.

“Virgil, you—“

Shit.

Virgil looks up, a little guilty, as Logan comes back around the corner holding two coffee mugs. He looks down and raises an eyebrow.

“You…saved my laptop?”

“It was falling,” Virgil mutters, setting the precious cargo back on the coffee table, “didn’t want it to.”

“Ah. Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” Logan sets one of the coffee mugs down and reaches out a hand to help him up. “Though I assure you it is not the first time that laptop has been dropped.”

“What do you do with your stuff, Lo, I swear you make more cryptic remarks about it than J.”

“It’s all part of the experiment.”

“See, there you go again!”

And then, then sometimes the Subconscious decides oh, it wants to get inventive and spawn this horrific little ooze-demons. Goat head, four legs, runs about like a creepy little horror game creature, they’re fucking awful. They don’t all look the same but they’re always running and climbing about like some gross as hellcat gremlins. Their nails are so sharp.

These fuckers really like messing with Janus. He’s got too many fun things to pull on, too many heavy clothes for them to pull and make him trip, and they like scurrying up his staff too much. They’re absolute fucking nightmares.

The good news is they’re by far the most obvious of the obnoxious little shits that manage to slip through the barriers of the Subconscious. Virgil hears a weird skittering in his ears and knows that one of the little monsters is loose again. Given how they all flock to Janus like he’s some fucking homing beacon, it’s easy to find them.

Janus is pacing back and forth, yanking angrily at the end of his clothes like they’re about to snag on something, his staff clutched in his hand. His head is down, muttering to himself as Virgil walks up.

“J?”

His head whips around. “Oh. Virgil. Certainly expected to see you here.”

“That’s me, always turning up where I’m not wanted.”

“I didn’t say that,” Janus mumbles, resuming his pacing, “though I didn’t mean to summon you. You can go.”

“You didn’t summon me, J,” Virgil says, leaning against the wall and looking around for wherever the bastards are, “I’m here of my own free will.”

“Free will,” Janus scoffs, turning around, “what the hell even is that?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil spots movement.

“It’s not like there’s some master document of humans where free will is written into it.”

Slowly, Virgil raises his hand toward the spot, not tearing his eyes off it.

“And the belief that animals don’t have it! Ha, some of them exhibit characteristics of choice much more than we do.”

The little fucker snaps at his fingers as he makes a grab for it. He snags it by the scruff of the beck and yanks.

“And what is this about it being provable? Show me one scientific theory that has space in it for free will. Do it, I dare you.”

Virgil bites back a curse as he wrests the pesky shit around the middle, ignoring the way it chomps and snarls at him.

“Just because you have or don’t have free will doesn’t make you exempt from the constraints of society. Even if you aren’t making your own choices that doesn’t mean you’re the exception to the consequences.”

The teeth that sink into the sleeve of his hoodie are the last to vanish as Virgil breathes out, watching the last of it fade as Janus turns around.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, tugging his hat and gloves, “haven’t been…”

“S’okay, J,” Virgil waves with the hoodie sleeve that isn’t ripped, “you’re good. Come on, let’s go eat something.”

“…pasta?”

“Sure thing, danger noodle.”

“Ugh, I take it back.”

“Whatever you say, hazard macaroni.”

“I’m taller than you!”

It makes sense that the Subconscious decides to send the most insidious shit after the twins. They’re the reason the pieces of shit monsters can’t make it up to the rest of them. And for the most part, they know what to look for. They don’t have the same awareness of all the little idiosyncrasies that Virgil does, but they beat back a fair number of them on their own.

Which is why the ones they can’t are tricky.

Remus is Dark Creativity, he lives in the muck with the monsters. Thrives in it. Loves the way the gross and the unwanted and the sickening twist and turn about his realm, thrills in the horrified swoop in his stomach when something truly gruesome rears its ugly fuckin’ head.

What he can’t deal with is the fog.

The first time Virgil saw it, he honestly thought it was smoke. He thought Remus had set something on fire and panicked, reaching through to try and find the blaze, find Remus, find a goddamn fire extinguisher, but it was cold.

Like…really cold.

You know how when the air is really humid it feels like it has a weight to it? Like it hangs over you like a wet rag that you just can’t shake off?

Imagine that but cold.

Virgil shivers and reaches forward, trying to find Remus. He’s still never gotten used to it, even though he’s seen it so many times now. Remus doesn’t make it out of his room when the fog comes. He blames it on creative block but Janus always hisses gently when he says that.

“Remus? Remus,” Virgil calls using his tempest tongue, “where are you, buddy?”

He can’t see Remus yet, but the call did its work. The fog ripples in front of him, almost shying away from the sound waves as he moves. He keeps calling, keeps watching the fog almost flinch as it recedes from him. His voice grows louder, louder. The fog begins to retreat in earnest.

Finally, he sees Remus, curled up on his bed, staring at the wall. Virgil muffles a curse as he strides forward, crooning as softly as he can in tempest tongue while glaring furiously at the fog as it sheepishly retreats. As the last of it fizzles, Remus’s head comes to flop on Virgil’s shoulder.

“Hey, spider-ling,” he mumbles, “when’d you show up?”

“A few minutes ago.” Virgil brushes Remus’s hair off his forehead. “You looked upset, bud, wanted to come check on you.”

“Fucking fine,” comes the slur, signifying that Remus is anything but, “I’m fucking fine, babe.”

“You’re exhausted and cold.” Virgil scoops him up into his arms. “Come on. Let’s go find J. He’ll spoil you.”

Sure enough, as soon as Janus sees Remus lying in Virgil’s arms, he jumps up with a coo and takes the other side from him, lying him down on something warm and promising to get him something warm to drink. No, Remus, not engine fuel. Something safer, at least for right now.

Virgil stands at the door, waiting.

There’s an itch between his shoulders and another chill down his spine.

A cloud of fog emerges from down the hallway. From it, three shadow gremlins canter toward him.

He grits his teeth and braces.

The first one collides with his shoulder and he grabs it, squeezing until the shadow folds in on itself. The second hits his shin and he punts it into a wall, scooping the remnants and absorbing them. The third one vanishes in a quick shout of tempest tongue.

You’re not gonna get them, he thinks as he shouts the fog away, not on my goddamn watch.

The worst part of the Subconscious is the shadows.

Because they all have shadows. They all do. That’s just the nature of being an opaque thing and existing in proximity near light sources. Shadows are a natural by-product of blocking light, that’s it.

Wow, he’s been spending more time with Logan than he thought. Sweet.

But the Subconscious shadows are different. There’s no such thing as dark. Only an absence of light. There is no substance known as ‘dark,’ sure there’s dark energy or dark matter if you go the physics route, but there isn’t a thing ‘dark’ the way there’s a thing ‘light.’

If you looked at the Subconscious shadows, you’d believe otherwise.

They look normal. They look just like normal shadows. Something resting against the wall casts a shadow. Something moving in front of a window casts a shadow. Something sitting on the edge of the desk casts a shadow.

But these shadows move.

You have to pay such close attention to even catch them. You have to know precisely what on your desk is casting what part of the shadow when—hold on, what is that? Is it the water bottle? No, you pick up the water bottle and the cylinder two spaces across move. So you pick up the lamp and no, that’s not it either. You move your hand—your hand’s shadow is easy to track—and you move it to where it should be overlapping with whatever’s casting that shadow. You look closer. But there’s nothing blocking the light where your hand is, nothing between the light and the wall.

You stare at the shadow.

And then it moves.

See? They’re fucking terrifying. Like some Peter Pan gone wrong shit. Creepy, sinister, innocuous-looking, you’ve got to be constantly on guard to catch them. You have to be smart. These ones, out of all the Subconscious monsters, feel the most spiteful. Like they’re doing this on purpose, to terrorize the Mindscape.

That’s probably why they go for Roman.

Roman holds the barriers the most. Remus pushes them to reinforce them, but Roman draws the lines in the sand. Roman is responsible for keeping Thomas safe from the barriers breaking, is largely responsible for Thomas being able to see the Sides at all.

So of course the Subconscious hates him.

Roman is the only one who will summon Virgil when he thinks there’s something wrong. Sure, it’s never been quite as simple as Virgil showing up and Roman telling him he’s scared, he thinks something just moved. They used to just throw barbs at each other until Roman was distracted enough for Virgil to suck up the shadow, or fight until Virgil pointed out where it was and Roman said it was just a test, but they’re better now.

Virgil appears in Roman’s room and immediately looks around. Roman sits on the bed, his hands folded primly over the sword in his lap, polishing the pommel with forced calm.

“There are at least three,” he says, his voice perfectly even, “I can’t keep track of them anymore.”

“It’s okay, Princey,” Virgil says softly, turning and turning to try and catch them, “I’m here now. You did a good thing calling me. Are you alright?”

“I’m here,” Roman says, forcing a little false cheer into it, “not the biggest fan of what’s happening, but I’m here.”

Virgil smiles at him briefly before he sees the flicker.

There.

“Roman,” he says calmly, “I need you to go stand by the window.”

Roman gets up and walks to the window, sitting under the sill and closing his eyes. Virgil grits his teeth and makes his shadow overlap with the one on the wall.

It burns as he starts to absorb it, writhing in protest and screeching silently for the others to come help. Sweat begins to bead on Virgil’s forehead as two move shadows race to enlarge his silhouette. Goddamn, they’re vicious tonight. What the hell would they have done to Roman if he hadn’t called?

Not on my goddamn watch.

He’s panting by the time they’re gone, but he’s alright. He’s good. They’re gone. Roman is safe. He turns and opens his arms, letting Roman come and bury his face in the crook of his neck.

“Thank you,” Roman murmurs quietly, “sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Princey, this is my job.” He claps Roman on the shoulder. “You did good too.”

Roman huffs. “I sat in the corner. That’s not much.”

“And you did great. Now come on, Pat’s making cookies.”

“Oh, right, is it Remus’s night to help?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmmm…maybe we should swing by and warn Logan first.”

“Good idea.”

+1.

Nothing’s happened in a while and Virgil is getting worried.

Normally the longest they go without an incident is a month, maybe, and then it’s normally back-to-back nonsense for like a week.

But it’s been three months. And nothing. No misty tendrils, no puddles of ooze, no snapping gremlins, no fog, no shadows. Virgil’s just about on the verge of running a round-the-clock patrol of the damn place just to make sure he doesn’t miss anything.

As it turns out, he needn’t have bothered.

Stupid, stupid. Idiot.

He fucking missed it. He fucking missed it.

All the other Sides had monsters that went after them specifically. Why should Virgil get left out?

The Subconscious hadn’t been stopping, or slowing down, no. It had been biding its fucking time.

And now…

Virgil scrambles backward, trying to keep himself between the door to the Imagination and the figure in front of him. They slash at him again and he dodges just in the nick of time. He winces, claps a hand to his chest, and literally feels his heart skip a beat as his hand passes right through.

He’s being absorbed.

The figure raises a dripping, shadowy arm and brings the weapon down again. Virgil can’t stop dodging long enough to get a good look at it. He only knows that it fucking hurts and that it’s draining him. Draining him back into the Subconscious.

If he can just keep it here, if he can just hold off long enough to figure out what to do—

Another slash comes down on his arm and he yells, tempest tongue dying in his throat. That one fucking hurt.

He throws a handful of dirt up just to see if maybe it will blind them or give them a moment’s pause but no. The dirt just sinks into it like some fucking nightmare vacuum. The next strike collides.

“Virgil? Virgil?”

“What the fuck is that thing?”

“It’s draining him, move!”

“Hang on, Virgil, we’re coming!”

“Don’t you fucking dare hit him again!”

The figure turns, only to jump out of the way when Remus’s Morningstar smashes into the ground where they had been standing. Remus growls, ripping it out of the soil and swinging again. The figure parries the blow only to let out an inhuman wail as Roman’s sword slices its arm.

“Get the fuck away from him,” Remus snarls.

“Back!” Roman swings again, driving them away from Virgil. “Back, foul beast!”

“Don’t insult them by comparing the beasts to whatever the fuck this is.”

Logan rushes up before Virgil can open his mouth to ask what the fuck is going on, dropping to his knees and pressing something warm to Virgil’s chest.

“Virge? Virge, stay with me,” he calls softly, “come on, it’s alright, we’re here now.”

“How—“ Virgil gasps as his chest starts to…resolidify? “How did you—what? How?”

“Oh, Virgil,” Logan murmurs, rubbing whatever the miracle thing on his chest is in small circles, “did you really think we never noticed that you were trying to fight them by yourself?”

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

“Shh,” he soothes, helping Virgil up into a seated position, “it’s okay. We’re not mad. Just worried. You’re hurt.”

“Fuck!”

“Just stab them, Ro.”

“I’m trying!”

Despite himself, Virgil huffs a laugh as he leans against Logan. “Are they—we should help.”

“You,” Logan says sternly, “will sit here and let me finish making sure you won’t be drained. The twins can handle themselves.”

Still, Virgil’s heart stays in his throat until he spies something else running up the hill. A shadow beast, a massive one.

“Logan, look out—”

Logan turns and—

Who the fuck gave Logan a gun?

The shadow beast has flopped over onto its side and dissipated, Logan already back to tending to Virgil’s wound but the time Virgil’s dizzy, half-drained brain figures out what just happened.

“You…you shot it.”

Logan quirks an eyebrow. “You sound surprised.”

“Remus!”

“Get back!”

“What the hell is it doing?”

“It’s growing, shit, Ro, we gotta fall back.”

“Guard Logan, check on Virgil, I’m right behind you!”

The twins rush up and form a guard around Logan and Virgil as the shadow figure swells. Virgil’s eyes widen as it growls, growing larger and larger and larger still until the shadows look strapped at the seams, fit to burst. It grows claws. It grows teeth. It grows more limbs than he can count.

It leers down at them and opens a gaping, black maw.

“Now!”

Roman crouches down to shield him as dirt flies up around them. Logan bends in too as something equally massive soars overhead. Virgil manages to peek between Roman and Remus to see a blur of green tackle the monster.

“Is that…is that Patton?”

“I believe it’s ‘Lily Pad-ton,’” Logan corrects wryly as the twins snicker, “but…yes.”

Judging by the roar of the monster, he’s doing something.

“Where’s Janus,” he hears Roman hiss, “he should’ve been here by now.”

“There!”

Remus points and Virgil spots a fucking enormous yellow snake unhinging its jaw. The monster howls as it starts to vanish down the snake’s gullet.

“Holy fuck.”

“I think Janny’s hungry.”

“Pissed off, more like.” Roman lays a hand protectively on Virgil’s shoulder, squeezing encouragingly as Virgil gasps at the contact. “Whatever that thing is hurt Virgil.”

Remus growls in assent.

The thing in Virgil’s chest starts to burn hotter. Logan shushes him gently as he whines in pain.

“It’s alright, Virgil, you’re almost done. We’re right here, just breathe.”

“You’re safe, sweetheart,” Roman murmurs as he starts to list side to side, “we’ve got you.”

“Nothing’s gonna fucking touch you,” he hears Remus snarl as he passes out, “promise.”

He comes to an indeterminate amount of time later, laid out on the couch, his head in Patton’s lap. He blinks.

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton murmurs, stroking his hair, “you feel any better?”

“Um, yeah,” he mumbles, turning a little and wincing at the pull in his chest, “what…what happened?”

“We won.” Roman pats his arm. “All safe now. You did great.”

“All I did was lie there.”

“Yeah, and you did great.” He winks.

Virgil’s gaze rolls around to catch Logan setting down a glass of water and crouching by his head.

“L?”

“You’re all better physically,” Logan says softly, “but it might take some time for you to feel like it. Just take it easy for a while.”

“And that means,” comes Remus’s voice from over the couch, “you gotta let us help defend you too.”

Virgil flushes. “But it’s not your job.”

“Are you insinuating that our job is not to take care of you?” Roman holds his hand to his chest in a mock gasp. “Because that is rude.”

Patton gives his hair a gentle tug. “We’re gonna look after you, kiddo, you deserve it.”

“I—um…” Virgil swallows heavily. “But if I dealt with it properly you wouldn’t have to.”

A soft hiss comes from the chair. Virgil looks and sees Janus sitting there, one leg crossed over the other. He smiles softly.

“You can let us help you, sweetie,” he murmurs, “rest for a little. Don’t try and take on the Subconscious by yourself.”

“…okay.” He squints. “Wait, why are you all the way over there?”

“Digesting,” Janus says, completely dignified.

Virgil snorts. “I’m just sad I missed it.”

“Oh, it was fucking epic.”

“Language, kiddo.”

“Oh, come on, you were great—“

Logan chuckles next to his head as Virgil drifts back off to sleep with a smile on his face.

…he is gonna ask who gave Logan a gun after he wakes up properly.

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