#none of that is hyperbole btw

[queer-ghosts]

being normal about my best friend i love her very much.

[7-andahalf-rats]

doodle to get back in the swing of things. rex be upon ye

[liquidstar]

really do love how otto's arc is going from "die so i can live" to "i would happily die for you, in fact ive already written the suicide note" to "i would literally kill an entire nation for you. i dont care how many people die as long as youre okay." dude relax

[insomnia-productions]

“try our new skin perfector essence to give your skin that radiant bare-skin filter effect” what if i killed myself

[epsilonicronecronomiconemon]

Bitches when they find out that those random wincing sounds I make every minute are from

recounting past embarrassments or things that make me vaguely feel like I'm not good enough or that I'm ugly or weird or a screwup or humiliating myself which I was programmed to feel by the people who constantly watched me and commented or laughed about anything I did, who spread rumours about me, who always had to point out my mistakes or my flaws, who said "no offense" and then called me a slur, who said I was a freak, a four-eyes, and a fag. Who said I was a danger to other kids. Who said I had to be contained: 😨

[doing-downtime-hero-shit]

31 years on this earth and I still have no idea how to get the chip and dip ratio right

[tauforged]

like i’m having flashbacks to ye olde “you answered an ask from xyz user who CLEARLY kins abc character and you KNOW that my byf says not to interact with doubles because abc is LITERALLY ME!! so instead of even attempting to have a conversation with you in private, i am going to put you on blast with a public callout that i will not rescind unless you personally come crawling into my dms to beg forgiveness and show me screenshot evidence that you don’t normally interact with that person. i am then going to berate you for being a pushover and weak minded for not being instantly hostile to a complete stranger for daring to kin the same overwatch character as me” era . like what year is it

(^ none of that is hyperbole btw this is almost word for word a debacle i went through in high school like i answered an ask turned my phone off went to therapy got home and world war 3 was happening in my activity tab. i was like 16 and i’m almost positive the aggressor in this situation was in their 20s. i don’t really remember tbh at the time it felt normal but it’s one of those things i look back on that was pretty weird and probably made my anxiety a lot worse)

[thatiranianphantom]

what's your opinion on the 6x22 jabitha scene?? their entire future together because imo it seems extremely suspicious they had them go through their whole lives together like that as if they don't plan on them lasting which I always felt anyways tbh!! I had a friend of mine tell me they thought that scene solidified jabitha endgame because IMHO it did the exact opposite!! jabitha are a very poor imitation of bughead only not nearly as amazing and perfect! they tried but failed to make them anything like bughead, jabitha are the most boring couple ever, after tangs! I was just wondering what your opinion was on it because the very few jabitha shippers I've seen think their endgame because of it ugh sorry not sorry but bughead will always be the best ship of this show, same with varchie they can't erase them no matter how hard they try or replace them!! sorry for bothering you btw <3

Hello love, you're not bothering me! I'm going to refer to them as JT in this, just so that it stands a chance of not showing up in the tag for the maybe 4 shippers.

Okay, so I guess continuing JT is theoretically possible as much as anything else in s7? But I have some severe doubts. Number one, Tabitha is and was a historically unpopular character, and JT is an incredibly unpopular ship. This isn't a bias thing, this is actual facts. Numerically, statistically, JT is a really really bad idea. That's to say nothing of the fact that the actors look like they're being forced to interact at gunpoint.

(Sidenote: how-do, Melinda! For your sake I hope it takes you more than 5 minutes to find and reblog this. And you should probably consider removing your full name from some of your socials. Just an aside.)

Anyway, could they return to s6 or keep the JT going in S7? I guess, but it's been to the detriment of both characters, who have really nosedived in popularity because of JT. Then we have to consider if they did, what story would there be to continue? Life with the JT kids? BA planning their wedding? Percival is gone, the comet has hit, the couples were wrapped up with a neat little bow, in all seriousness, what story is there to return to?

Then we get into Tabitha's role this season. The line she got in the description was very 👀 , as is the fact that she's hardly been seen in BTS this season. Making her an angel talking to Jughead makes her plot entirely contingent on his, and per RAS, we know that he kinda settles into the 50s thing at the end of the first episode. Again, this is all spec, but given her unpopularity, and given how much they need to keep this season to things that work, I do wonder if she is very sporadically in the season or only in the first episode. Who knows really, but is JT a thing I am worried about? Nah, not really.

(Also, thanks for mentioning Tangs, one of the most genuinely hilarious parts of last season. Without hyperbole, a couple with zero fans, I about died laughing when they were on screen. Chemistry comparable to JT, acting skills minimal to none, compatibility nonexistent, married on a lie. Ah, sweet love.)

Hope this helps!

[thirddeadlysin]

north american birds regularly make me stop dead in the middle of the trail/road/field to exclaim over how pretty they are (esp blue jayyyyyyys though my fave is the anhinga 🥰) but I genuinely lose my whole entire shit any time i see

a) an oriole flitting overhead from tree to tree

THEYRE REALLY THAT ORANGE AKJAJSKD

b) a pileated woodpecker

THEYRE HUGE!!!!! I didn't understand until I saw them irl but oh my god they're so huge???

c) the bald eagle pair that nests nearby

ME AND WHO

d) cedar waxwings

THEYRE MADE OF MARZIPAN I JUST KNOW IT

e) ruby throated hummingbirds!!!!!!

I'm not even being hyperbolic when I tell you that spotting one of these out in the wild (we saw three just last summer!!!) and not just hovering at my aunt's porch feeder is ✨️💖M A G I C A L💖✨️

none of these pictures are mine btw bc i'm normally very extremely too busy staring slackjawed at the bird(s) but i did also once see an eastern bluebird on a day so grey that it made the bird's plumage look like a hallucination and i actually said out loud to an extremely offline human "god i hope anish kapoor never sees this" bc i was so overwhelmed by Blueness

also this is just an aside but American Goldfinches should be called American Cornfinches bc it's a better match both colorwise and geographically thank you and good night

it irritates me to no end when people say north american birds are dull in comparison to other countries’ birds

blue jay

american kestrel

painted bunting

yellow-throated vireo

cerulean warbler

baltimore oriole

american goldfinch

northern cardinal

x

[tomwambsmilk]

One of my favourite things is hearing a song for the first time in the context of a fanvid and then just permanently associating the song with that character. “Brutal” by Olivia Rodrigo is about Kendall. “Rumors” by Lizzo is about Tom. WAP is about Greg. “Rolling with the LGBT” is about Logan Roy.

[biracy]

Keychains with palm trees, t-shirts with hibiscus flowers, coasters of white sandy beaches, etc. are almost exclusively tourist merchandise. If it looks like "Puerto Rico" can be replaced with "Cuba", "Jamaica", "the Bahamas", "Miami", it's for tourists. Meant to evoke a vague image of "tropical vacation", but not island specific. Beach towels of Roberto Clemente, shot glasses with Hector Lavoe's face on them, and Puerto Rican flag bikinis would never be purchases by anyone who is not Puerto Rican. I really regret not buying that shot glass

As Puerto Rico becomes intensely more popular with tourists, I have developed an excellent skill at being able to distinguish between Puerto Rico themed merchandise designed to be bought by non Puerto Rican tourists and Puerto Rico themed merchandise designed to be bought by Puerto Ricans

[khtrinityftw]

Honest KH2 Critique

I wanna talk about Kingdom Hearts II since we're quickly approaching it's 15th anniversary. Ever since it was released, it's become a game that people irritatingly refuse to be moderate over, or at least when it comes to the vocal fans online. People who love it don't love it so much as worship it, while people who hate it don't hate it so much as despise it with every fiber of their being. I may technically fall into the "love" category (I share the majority fan and critic view that KH2, especially it's Final Mix edition, is the best game in the series), but I'm also willing to look at both its good and its bad, and do so in moderation rather than hyperbolically.

And I know, without a doubt - Kingdom Hearts II...has the absolute worst-written story out of the KH Trinity!

OK, that was said hyperbolically, but I did so as a joke!

It's so weird that the original Kingdom Hearts and Chain of Memories have narratives that are deeply and thoughtfully structured with such care and consistency, and then the trilogy is rounded out by such a messily-written rollercoaster of quality!

.....Well, all right, maybe not that weird.

When interviewed shortly after KH2's first public reveal at the 2003 Tokyo Game Show, this is how Tetsuya Nomura described the process for writing the game's story: "I'm writing the plot, the main story of Sora and co. Other people are in charge of the plots for the events that will happen in each Disney world. Combining that with Nojima, we're completing one scenario."

The "other people" in question are the Event team: Masaru Oka, Ryo Tsurumaki, Michio Matsuura, Atsuko Ishikura, Yukari Ishida, and Kumiko Takahashi. Daisuke Watanabe and Harunori Sakemi also assisted Nojima with scenario writing whenever the need arose.

The problem that this process caused isn't apparent at first glance, but it's actually right there in that interview excerpt: "I'm writing the plot". In KH and CoM, Nomura only wrote the initial plot outlines, which were very simple and ripe for being fleshed out by the actual scenario writer. There's a big difference between that and writing a full-fledged plot the way he did here. 

Nomura wrote the story for what transpires in the KH-original worlds: Twilight Town, Hollow Bastion, the World That Never Was and Destiny Islands. It goes like this:

As far as plots go, I actually really like this one. It's a strong plot.

It's also convoluted as Hell.

I made a post saying the three one-word convoluted elements of KH2's plot are "Nobodies", "Data", and "Ansem". All three of those are literally the cornerstones of this plot that Nomura cooked up: they play a huge role through the beginning, middle and end! Because Nomura had more power with making this game, none of the more...out-there stuff that these concepts created could be curbed or removed. Which means that the scenario writer had better be in tune with Nomura when it comes to presenting them in a coherent way.

For the most part, Kazushige Nojima was....not.

Here is a tell-tale sign that Nomura and Nojima were not in sync. When asked if he planned from the start to make Kingdom Hearts be the heart-shaped moon seen on the cover of the original game, Nomura replied "No, I didn't. I asked Nojima-san to write the scenario and in his scenario it was written that the Kingdom Hearts Xemnas created is 'like a moon that floats in the World that Never Was'. When I read that, I thought ‘’Oh, this can be connected!’’"

Nomura just admitted that Nojima essentially had to make up how to convey Xemnas harnessing and trying to complete Kingdom Hearts, because Nomura's plot did nothing to convey it. It was a "wait, how the fuck is he doing that!?" detail. And you really get the sense all throughout the scenario that Nojima is struggling with trying to convey Nomura's stuff, and he has said as much in interviews: Nomura's plot and concepts confused him.

It also doesn't help that Nojima was the least major scenario writer on the original KH, mainly limited to the co-creation of Ansem with Nomura and writing the entire End of the World section. This is probably why Xemnas and Ansem the Wise are clearly the KH-original characters with the most confidence and complexity behind their writing in KH2's scenario. Nojima writes Sora, Kairi, their Nobodies Roxas and Namine, and Riku far more simplistically and trope-y, and the other Organization members and trio of Hayner, Pence and Olette are side characters so naturally they don't get much depth. 

Then there's Masaru Oka and his Event Team. First off, while Masaru Oka is definitely on Nomura's wavelength and understands his vision to a fault, as Event Director he is superbly mediocre at presenting that vision, or Nojima's for that matter. He just isn't cinematically inclined the way Jun Akiyama was in the original KH, and that leads to the event scenes usually being the barest minimum of adequate at best, and laughably awkward at worst.

Secondly, Oka and his team were responsible for creating the plots in the Disney worlds (hence Oka's credit alongside Nomura under "Base Story"). But not only were they frequently lazy and just directly rehashed the movie's story but with Sora, Donald, Goofy and the Heartless shoved in, but half of the time they didn't even bother connecting the world plots to Nomura's main plot in any meaningful way beyond thematically ala CoM, and neither Nomura nor Nojima seemed keen on correcting this even when they really should have.

Here is a chart displaying the game's flow, stage by stage as set by world battle level. Stages where the main plot is progressed in some way are bolded, and stages of the main plot as created by Nomura have red borders around them:

Aside from Space Paranoids which was part of Nomura's plot from the get-go, the only time where correlation with the main plot occurs without any side factor to note is Beast's Castle, where both visits feature the machinations of Organization member Xaldin and culminates in the boss battle against him that leads to his demise.

Olympus Coliseum correlates to the main plot in the first visit but not the second, although the second visit is now made plot-relevant due to tying up loose ends from the first. Port Royal correlates to the main plot in the second visit but not the first, although the first visit is now made plot-relevant due to setting the stage for the second (it also has Larxene's Absent Silhouette in FM). There is technically a main plot correlation in the second visits to the Land of Dragons and Agrabah (the latter of which has Vexen's Absent Silhouette in FM), but Nojima botched the writing of them to the point where there may as well not have been, especially in the case of Agrabah’s which is "oh btw, an Organization XIII member came by off-screen".

And then there's the case of Disney Castle / Timeless River, which only acquires relevance to the main plot because it was decided that Maleficent should be resurrected and be Pete's boss in the present time. And unlike her appearance in Halloween Town, her role in this stage correlates directly to her role in the main story, revealing her resurrection to the heroes and establishing that she seeks a new evil stronghold from which to advance her return to power. Pete's backstory and connection to King Mickey shown here also receives a direct reference toward the climax of the World That Never Was.

While it could be argued that there's additional value in the first visits to Port Royal, Agrabah, Halloween Town and Pride Land due to the presence of Pete (Maleficent when it comes to Halloween Town), I would have to disagree because nothing they actually do in these stages end up mattering to the main story whatsoever - especially in Pride Land, where Pete just shows up in lion form to say “Ooga Booga Booga!”. Their presence alone just ain't enough.

The consequence here is that for the continuous stretch of Port Royal in the first go-round, Olympus Coliseum in the second, and Agrabah, Halloween Town and Pride Land in both go-rounds, it feels like nothing is advancing. And as bad as that sounds on paper, it's even worse when applied to gameplay because it means this lasts for several hours straight! The only main plot event that happens in either cycles is Kairi going to Twilight Town, which happens in a sudden cutscene between Agrabah and Halloween Town and is thus totally out of the player's control!

To sum things up, Nomura wrote a main plot that was good but too overwrought with confusing and complicated details. Nojima is a highly talented writer, but he didn't fully get Nomura's vision. Oka gets Nomura's vision, but he isn't a highly talented Event Director (and as seen in later games, he has even less talent as a writer) and often portrayed scenes that Nomura or Nojima came up with flatly. And none of these men were in sync when it came to how the Disney world plots and the main plot would connect, often simply not caring or else just not trying hard enough.

That is why KH2 has the weakest writing in the KH Trinity: the primary creative voices that shaped the story were completely out of sync with one another on a regular basis. You could say that their hearts just didn't connect on this project. And as a result, we have blatant inconsistences, bad edit jobs, pacing problems, mood whiplashes, missed opportunities, and dumbass moments galore.

However, on the occasions where things between them did manage to sync up, we were given some of the highest points in not only the KH Trinity but the entire KH series, and the input that was given from Daisuke Watanabe, Harunori Sakemi, and others like production assistant (and major Disney fanatic) Eri Morimoto surely helped the messy story become not quite as big a mess as it could have been otherwise. And that story still stayed true to the series' roots as a whimsical Disney/FF crossover project driven by relatable characters and emotional resonance, as opposed to a vanity project for Nomura that is driven by perplexing lore, plot twists and mystery boxes.

And that's why I and so many others love KH2, warts and all, and would gladly take dozens more narrative messes just like it over the different, far less enjoyable kinds of narrative messes that we've been getting afterward.

[bluerosesburnblue]

Hi Liz have you seen the new addition to SR theory where they say that Kairi is a Chirity I would like to hear your thoughts on that because as soon as I saw the post it just gave me a migraine, tbh I think the whole SR theory is nothing more than a bunch of crap. I love hearing your opinion, anyway the whole theory is just trying to push parallels that I think are nothing more than just that. How Kairi became a chirity to help them cross the world line. I'm sorry it probably makes no sense.

I sure have! I know exactly what you’re getting at, don’t worry. I’ve got a few people who alert me of this kind of stuff when it happens so I’ve got stuff prepared already

The whole update is just full of cherry-picked moments, misrepresented facts, and conclusion jumping. And it’s short. So let’s get into why, exactly, it’s a terrible argument

The new post starts off with a recap of something covered in the theory document itself, namely how the KH3 Dive uses imagery from the KH1 intro, which they use in the document to claim that the light is Riku. Now, I already covered this in my debunk posts, but since making those, @qazawsxs2 has brought to my attention a little parallel that the theory writers conveniently leave out. Corroborating what I claimed about the Darksides near-universally representing Sora’s darkness, it turn out that the way the Darkside is introduced in KH3 is framed exactly the same way that it’s introduced in KH1 Dive, where it was unquestionably related to Sora’s darkness. They keep trying to push that the Darkside is related to Kairi through a non-perfect parallel to the KH1 opening, while ignoring what the Darkside is a perfect parallel to. Post proving this: here.

The writer of that post goes on to claim that they’re not saying that Kairi is the Darkside and like… I’m sorry, can you really blame anyone for thinking that’s what you were saying when all they did was apply the same logic you used to prove that the Light was Riku to the Darkside argument? The theory, in no uncertain terms, states that because that Light is where Riku was in the KH3 opening that it is Riku’s light guiding Sora. It’s not a stretch to come to the conclusion that you’re implying that the Darkside is Kairi when the document itself brings up the Riku = Light argument and the only transition to Kairi is:

“And who is it that greets Sora when he breaches the water? In KH3, we get [the Darkside]. In KH1 we get… Kairi.” (pg. 93)

Either the Light is Riku and the Darkside is Kairi, or the Light is only kind of related to Riku and the Darkside is only kind of related to Kairi. You cannot say that your argument applies to only one of those scenarios when you use the same argument to frame both

And again, all of the proposed explanations in the document for the Darkside/Kairi connection state that the Darkside is Kairi in some way:

“So, is this Kairi’s heart? Trapped in The Final World, the brink of death where they all were but a hop skip moment ago? Is she within a pseudo Heartless, like a guise? Is it a possible Xion situation by means of a forced fight to pay a supposed “price” for world hopping in an attempt to save her friends?” (pg. 97)

So, yes, they absolutely did claim that the Darkside was Kairi and now saying that all they were claiming is that there was a connection reeks of backpedaling. And that’s just the start of how disingenuous this post is

The post then goes on to point out the similarity between Sora waking up in The Final World and Sora waking up at the start of KH1. And, sure, I’ll give them that it might be an intentional parallel. It’s not as similar as the callbacks to the KH1 Intro and Darkside are since none of the camera angles are the same, but that absolutely could be an intentional animation parallel

Aaaaaand that’s about as far as the parallel actually goes! Here’s where the pretty blatant cherry-picking starts.

First off, the scenes of Sora waking up aren’t actually as similar as they claim. In KH1, it’s exactly as it is in that post: we see the sun shining, then we cut directly to Sora’s eyes fluttering open… he sits up, looks around, and then lays right back down, but jolts up when Kairi leans over him

In KH3, though, we see then sun shining (which is more zoomed-in than in KH1), and then we get a wide shot of The Final World with Sora’s spectral body. The camera does a closer pan of Sora’s spectral body so that we can see how messed up he is. Then his eyes flutter open when it reaches his face (more zoomed-out than in KH1). He sits up and looks around, using absolutely none of the same camera angles as in KH1 and with the camera using first-person shots way less (if at all, the only one I spotted might not have even been first-person given how The Final World is). Sora then struggles to his feet on his own, world title card appears, and then you get an entire damn walking around gameplay segment before Chirithy even shows up, descending from the sky

So you can already see that a certain theory writer just blatantly cherry-picked the three seconds that you could claim are even mildly similar while cutting out basically 95% of both scenes to try and force a parallel

They then go on to try and make a name parallel. Kairi contains the character “kai,” which is one of the alternate pronunciations for χ that Xehanort references, and they state that, yes, he uses the same character for the alternate pronunciation in Japanese as Kairi’s name does (while the English version subtitles it as “kye”). This could be intentional, yes. Kairi is one of the Seven Princesses of Heart, stated to hold the power necessary to forge the χ-Blade. But you know what they didn’t prove?

That the “chi” in “Chirithy” is related to the same symbol. Because while, yes, Chirithy does contain “chi,” which is how they subtitled the χ in Kingdom Hearts χ [chi], that’s a parallel that only exists in English, just like how the Kairi parallel only exists in Japanese. The “chi” in Chirithy is never pronounced like either of the given pronunciations of χ in either Japanese or English, and it doesn’t use the same characters as the KHχ title does in Japanese

They don’t even give any proof that the “chi” in Chirithy is supposed to stand for the χ. They can’t because if they did they’d have to acknowledge that it isn’t. The claim that both Kairi and Chirithy have the χ in their names only works if you’re relying on “common knowledge” that Chirithy’s name is derived from it, which there is absolutely no evidence of

Hyperbole has no place in an argument, so they shoot their own foot by stating that “THIS IS NOT NOTHING” in all caps about Kairi’s hood

And then they claim that Chirithy and Kairi share a symbol: the star. Technically false. Stars are a symbol of Light in KH. They have been since KH1 where the literal stars represented the light of the worlds. The past Keyblade wielders tasked with defending the Light were given Starlight Keyblades in KHχ, the BBS trio chats about it in the opening when they’re stargazing (which, btw, contains a more obvious parallel to Sora waking up in KH1 with Ven and Aqua than the Final World ever does), and most importantly:

A star-like symbol represents particles of Light in KHχ, called Lux

Which, by the way, is what Chirithy’s symbol actually is. It’s just an all-white Lux sigil. Which makes sense, since they’re supposed to help their wielders collect it

Kairi and Chirithy both have star-based sigils, but only because they’re both derived from Light. Kairi’s being because she’s a Princess with a heart of pure light, Chirithy because they’re intended to help their wielders collect fragments of it. Their symbols aren’t the same, but are simply derived from the same series-wide symbol. A symbol that specifically represents light

Also, they don’t even put any proof that Kairi’s symbol even is a star in that post. If you’re trying to prove a parallel, you’ve gotta put both versions in there. This is the second time it’s happened in that one post alone

And then they end on Sora telling Kairi in KH1 that he dreamed about a “huge, black THING” swallowing him up and then dying via Demon Tornado. Which, like�� okay? What are you even trying to say? That because Sora dreamed about dying in the Darkness and saw Kairi, then actually died in the Darkness and saw Chirithy that it’s an intentional parallel? No. Those aren’t even the same Heartless, the scenes aren’t staged the same way, that’s not… that’s not even a parallel unless you stretch your definition of “parallel” like a taffy puller makes candy. It’s not even the first or only time Sora has been swallowed up by Darkness! If this is an intentional parallel, then they all are. Yes, even that time it happened because Maleficent was saving them in KH2. Kairi was secretly a box of ice cream all along. Good job, you figured out Kingdom Hearts

The only connection that Kairi and Chirithy have is that he tells Sora that Kairi’s  holding him together, and even then he doesn’t say her name

You say that the theory is trying to push parallels as something more than parallels, and while I agree, it’s way more than that. They’re misrepresenting canon to try and make parallels that fit their interpretation, parallels that don’t actually exist, and then use them as evidence while conveniently forgetting that while a parallel can hint towards something, it is not always proof in and of itself. That’s their big failing here. There’s a reason I called their evidence “forged” at one point

It’s because they made it all up

[thalsianiii]

Im sad youve made Percy a more villainous character, instead of a darkly minded scholar, well spoken and respected as an authority on demonology. Someone the layman can seek their books and writings of to better defend themselves against black magics.

If we’re being honest with each other, anon, It sometimes makes me sad too.

I really did love playing the scientific Ph.D. Demonologist. It was really fun to do all the research and create the scientific papers. It was something I’ve never seen anyone else do and it made me feel really good. It was unique to me and people loved it.

But I chose the direction I did for a few very big reasons... Sorry this turned into an essay...

The First was straight up IC hate. Almost from the get go Percival got a lot of flak from his peers for being a demonologist. Our first role play guild The Conclave, a military group, had a good number of paladins and such who gave him a lot of shit for doing what he did. Even his fellow warlocks looked at him with a certain level of distrust because he went the demonology route. Now for the most part there was a level of respect between the parties so the RP was tense at times, but still fun and inclusive.

When that guild died out and I joined my second guild, House Holt, which was a noble group with no magicians to speak of he got just as much hate for being a warlock but there was no respect or support network in place. The small group of wizards that eventually did join up eventually disbanded just as quickly save for one who was like everyone else, against Percival for his chosen career path. It didn’t matter that he had a sparkling military record, that he had a clean criminal record, that he was a high up government representative (circa HoN). None of that mattered, he was still villainized just for being a warlock.

Now I am fully aware the hate was all IC, I’m still friends with most of these people. But it got to a point where the RP was always tense and confrontational. I enjoy confrontation and angst sure. But when that’s all you get with the people you want to RP with it takes its toll on a writer. I began not wanting to RP with anyone because that’s all I got was hate. So I made the decision to steer into the skid, as they say. Kind of accept my fate.

The Second was a severe lack of like minded warlock players. I went through a period where I wanted so badly to RP with other warlocks. But each and every one I met was not only some kind of villain, but also really cringy and just unappealing to RP with. There were no regular warlocks, they were all half demon lords ripping off the heads of guards in the middle of Stormwind (That’s not hyperbole btw). Or they were psychotic nut jobs. So I had no guild support and no community support. I started to feel really alone as a Warlock writer.

The Third was my introduction to dark/antagonistic role play. It was befriending @monishadangelo and talking with her for hours and hours on end when she kind of showed me how fun being an IC jerk can be. I had always been curious about “Dark RP” but my older guilds made such a stink about it that I just didn’t delve into it until I started striking out on my own. Because of that, I also met a LOT of really great people who were also antagonistic characters. @demetrius-devereaux, @euphemiacrowsong, @emilia-duskfeather, @storykeeper-wra, and @caedera-mendenhall to name a few, are all people I’ve befriended, written with, and enjoyed talking too. So joining this community gave me a sense of belonging again for my character whom I loved so much.

The Fourth was honestly straight up boredom. I wasn’t necessarily bored with the character’s persona. But the first point about hate towards him contributed to what became a severe lack of RP. On top of that, the guild we were in at the time did next to no regular RP as it was. During my tenure there the leaders had put out one (1) actual guild arc/event. After that, all they did was sort of “hang out” role play. I’m not knocking that, if that’s what you’re into then awesome. But it put me in a place of being bored to tears. There was no story forming, and the casual “chit chat tavern” RP always resulted in Percival being shunned away. I tried rolling an alt in the guild, which helped. But I was still not getting to RP on the character I loved. So I had to make a change if I was still going to enjoy Roleplaying.

If we’re being honest I had no interest in being a GM or being in charge of RP. I wanted to be a participant. I wanted someone else to DM so I could enjoy participating. That guild had no one who would bother stepping up to the plate. The leaders & officers couldn’t be bothered. But that having been said, I’m also not too proud to admit my ego didn’t like the idea of having to start at the bottom of a new guild. So my options were become my own GM or quit RPing Percival really.

So, with all that having been said, going villain seemed like the best course of action. I’d be able to make my own role play, and if people hated him for being a warlock then it fit the character. It also introduced me to all the aforementioned people who liked him for who he was becoming. These past 6ish months of villainy have been some of the best RP of my days. People actually want to role play with me. Now the people I meet are either like minded folks so we can get along, or they’re enemies and we can work on some kind of confrontation. But hate isn’t the default anymore. I never get shunned from RP for being what I am.

Perhaps I can still incorporate the scholarly papers into the character. Perhaps using an alias of some sort. A “nom de plume” to be used for all his future publications. But honestly, as much as I miss being the nerd everyone looked too for knowledge, I’m happier being the villain in the long run.

So to all my fans of Percy V1. I am sorry to disappoint. But I hope you understand why I went the path I did :)

[scribble-dee-vee]

Original FicFest Day 4- Quotes

Introduction

Hello friends and @originalficfest! It’s the day of pretty words. I have absolutely loved seeing the quotes that other people have posted thus far, and I’m excited to post some of my own. I didn’t have time today to put these on pretty backgrounds, but that’s okay; perhaps I’ll post em that way later.

Quotes

First, take an excellent theme and mood encapsulating quote for Heart of Lead, which I’ve always really liked despite its lack of fancy language:

“’I believe you’re human,’ I said quietly. ‘And good. You don’t have to be alone in this.’”

Next, here’s my favorite description in the whole book (and my earliest readers’ favorite line to quote, mostly for the sheer dramatics):

“Blue shadows rested under my tired gray eyes, gray, not lively silver or gray-blue but the color of slate in the rain.”

This is my favorite line for the pure comedic value, and also because Luanne is such a precious bean and excellent friend:

“’You do realize that he’s a cyborg,’ I said, raising my eyebrows. ‘I know you can’t see all the terrifying metal-of-death bits because of the Glamour, but he is quite literally a killing machine.”

“Yes, but he’s a nice killing machine,” Luanne said.

(Btw, Wren is definitely hyperbolizing, but she’s still dubious for good reason about said cyborg. I can’t really go into more detail on that. lol)

And this quote sort of makes me cry even though it’s kind of innocuous and it’s not from a particularly sad scene?? :

I showed her what I could of my brand of wonder.

Just, in the context of Luanne and Wren’s relationship, I think it’s pretty meaningful and sweet. I just. Aasdkfjlasdkjfsdf I love my girls so much.

And finally, a relatively encompassing quote for plot summation, plus plenty of fancy language from Drama Queen Amaryllis:

“Your Majesty… Why am I here?”

She blinked wide eyes at me. “Why do you think you are here, Luanne?”

I hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“You do, and you don’t.” She drifted toward the center of the room, and turned back to look at me. “I’m sure that you can think of a hundred reasons, and none. There is your will to protect your friends, and your hope to impress your family. There is your endless thirst for knowledge and truth. There is, too, your impending death- we mustn’t forget that.

Okay, that’s all I got for now! Hope you all have a lovely evening :D

[myvoicenottheoneyougiveme]

It’s always an evil person that rejects you, whereas seconds before I was this wonderful... whatever.

It’s damned convenient, isn’t it?

It’s almost as though I weren’t a person at all but the measure of my compliance or the measure of what you can squeeze out of me. ...TOTALLY evil should I fail to give you what you’re strangling me for, but all of these wonderful, empty compliments as long as I align with the script inside of your head.

And I mean in a landscape where “every girl should be believed” there exist people like you who will say and do anything to destroy the object of their obsession if only to reel them back into compliance. And don’t get me wrong, I see so many good messages out there to push back against scenarios where girls typically haven’t been believed, but you’re a damned opportunist in the worst degree.

For all of the crises and defamation to the effect of me being someone that just sees “girl he wants” and goes about “possessing” and/or destroying in order to possess and control and own, your daily efforts to extract from me whatever the hell it is you think you’re “owed” reflect exactly the same. ...They have a name for this. ...It’s got your favorite word in it, and it ends with a word spelled P R O J E C T I O N.

I am not a defined person. I am not a person unto myself. I don’t exist. Only that scripted object inside of your head exists. My value as a human being is in my ability to comply with what you’re forcing onto me. From that pedastal you put me up on, I fall to being the lowest scum of the earth the moment I set one toe out of line. The word “No” is all it takes. Ignoring you does the same thing. Or when I was even trying to please you and go along with “this” thing, me just simply not being along the trajectory in my orbit of you that you imagined, would reduce me in an instant to the worst things you could then imagine. (You, though, still the center of the universe the whole way, btw.)

I don’t exist at all. The external object, me, the person, I don’t exist at all, only the inner representation of me you keep.

There is no me. I am not an extant entity that persists in reality. I am whatever you say I am. And you’re more than instrumental in that summary and with those you puppet to whatever effect.

I am not a person. I don’t exist. I am a vehicle onto which you place a fantasy. Reality need not apply, only your intense emotions that can change at any moment over and over and over again. What you feel, is what is real. Reality is not a factor. I am not a factor. I am a thing to be possessed, to be owned, to align with a script inside of your head. It’s no coincidence that this way of getting along in the world is everything you throw at me every chance you get. “BEWARE!” you scream to every person I have even the remotest contact with be they male or female. At the end of the day, the effect is isolation, the effect is breaking down, the effect is cutting me off from everything and everyone so as to allow you all the more power over me.

You scream it at everyone of these couples too, these content creators, these whoever’s. That was the last time I called you on this, but it’s hardly isolated to them as I’ve said. “Beware lest you become the next object of his obsession and he try to possess you.” But that, right there, is absolutely everything you’re doing to me day in and day out. It’s what you paint me as and have for so long, and it’s so damned convenient and affords you a throne upon which to rearrange the cosmos around me as you see fit.

But your ability to rewrite the narrative in an instant speaks to which one of us is truly objectified in “this” grand scheme of things. Your hyperbolic regard for me says more than enough about which one of us is actually the person you spend all of your time describing and have for 11 years. We just arrived at the destination via different paths and I only after many years and courage enough to see you for what you were. You didn’t have the psychological name, you just projected yourself onto me in every heat of the moment attempt to leverage power over me. Then I eventually found the scientific name for these behaviors you exhibit, by accident, and haven’t budged in my assessment of the situation since.

You spend your days worming your way through my life trying to control and to own, and you come from this angle and you come from that angle. And you come through this person, and you come through that person. And you make a move and try your damnedest to soften me up and make me pliable. You come with your vanities about yourself and about me, and you react violently when things don’t line up with your designs.

I am NOTHING but the measure to which I adhere to the unwritten script. I don’t exist.

Me, the person in the world, not the person inside of your head, me the external object, I don’t exist. Every time you bust in and shower me with your bullshit and then immediately throw it all out the window when I don’t respond or don’t respond the way you want, you show me and the world what you’re really made of. And you show me that I don’t actually exist and never have. I am only what you can get out of me. Nothing more.

How can any of what you paint about me be true if you can change your mind about it at a moment’s notice [completely mutually exclusive summations]? How can any of it have a grounded basis in reality if it can all be contradicted by you at a moment’s notice? A “split” world of black and white where people don’t exist, only your extreme feelings about them exist.

You will possess, or you will destroy. And after you’ve destroyed and isolated, you will stoop down like some kind of savior from on high to be his saving grace, to be the measure of his value as a person... because he has none, none but what you afford him. [let the singing of your praises by he and everyone in your audience (the one you’ve sold tickets to) commence]

...And we’ll start over again, and round and round it goes, until he’s so broken and so adrift and so lost that he doesn’t know up from down that he’ll actually Stolkholm and defend you his captor from any that might raise their voice in criticism of the things you’re doing. ...Somewhere I’ve already been for at least one of you.

I am not a person. I don’t exist. I am an object. I am a vehicle. I am just a stand-in for a scripted character from out of the inside of your own head. I can wear the one costume, or I can wear the other. But I need not show up as myself because I don’t exist in the first place.

The choice is mine. I have been claimed. My life has been claimed. My life is not my own. I am yours. You own me. I can be your fantasy, or I can rot in your dungeon. Either way, I, myself, I have been erased from reality. My life has been ended, subsumed as but part of yours. There is no scenario where I walk away from you a person unto myself leading my own life.