#been having a roughhhh few years
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Bitches when they find out that those random wincing sounds I make every minute are from
recounting past embarrassments or things that make me vaguely feel like I'm not good enough or that I'm ugly or weird or a screwup or humiliating myself which I was programmed to feel by the people who constantly watched me and commented or laughed about anything I did, who spread rumours about me, who always had to point out my mistakes or my flaws, who said "no offense" and then called me a slur, who said I was a freak, a four-eyes, and a fag. Who said I was a danger to other kids. Who said I had to be contained: 😨
#vent post?#vent post#been having a roughhhh few years#none of this is hyperbole btw#i usually add a bit of it so people actually care but this is raw experience#f slur tw
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Omg Carina hi!!! Congrats on 2k!!! It’s 🧸 anon here (she/her) and you’re so cool for doing this event for us🫶🏻
Like you I’m also studying, last year of nursing if it matters lol, so I completely forgot to check if you answered my request and I just now saw that you did so I’m gonna go read it now! I’m so excited to get my Carina fix🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
I’ll add to the celebration - comment on “You occupy my every thought”? Don’t have anything specific I’m just such a sucker for sunshine/grumpy tropes hehe
Also if you’d like maybe comment on the 14k Remus fic? I forgot its name I’m so sorry but the way you wrote Remus made my heart swoon and it was the first ever fic I read of yours so it’s kind of sentimental too🙃
Side note thank you for sharing so much of your personal life with us it makes me personally feel really connected to the writer and it makes sense why your writing really is poetry🥰 again thank you!!
hi my darling! no, thank YOU for participating in my event<33 and for actually enjoying my yapping lmao, i appreciate you sm! last year of nursing is roughhhh, so feel free to just drop by whenever you're free. my blog will always be here for when you need it 🫂 now, i have already more or less commented on "you occupy my every thought" with these headcanons, but i would love to do the remus one!
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i will COMMENT on "It's Nice To Have A Friend" with remus lupin
carina's 2k celebration
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In this fic, you're Remus' childhood best friend, his favourite person on the planet, and your romance reads very much like two people who are perfectly intertwined and destined for each other
So, after the fic fades to black, I can't really see anything but an endgame fairytale ending
Remus writing home to Hope and Lyall, who have known you since you were a kid and befriended Remus despite his obvious differences:
Dear Mam and Tad,
This may not come as a surprise to you – as it seems it has not been for anyone but me – but if it does, I sincerely hope it is a pleasant one.
I am writing to let you know that Y/N and I's friendship has officially become something more and I am happy to call her my partner.
You remained attached at each other's side for the precious few months you had left at Hogwarts – this time without a spec of anxiety or guilt
I will say, it took a while for you to school all guilt out of Remus though, as his former guilt for daring fall in love with you occasionally transformed into guilt for "letting you love a halfbreed"
But you did what you did best – you kissed it away
You were far from above cradling Remus in your arms until he melted into you, whispering sweet nothings into his hairline
There was a lot of:
"I have loved you unequivocally more or less my whole life, cariad. I am not about to change that now."
"Would you love me any less if I changed? If I became a lycanthrope or a vampire or sick or poor?" "You know I wouldn't."
"Shhh, none of that. None of that, my sweet boy."
"You're just Remus to me."
Because of his particular situation, Remus had to become closer with certain members of Hogwarts staff than most other students would – particularly Pomfrey, Dumbledore and McGonagall
And I believe all of them would often share looks at how obvious the love blooming between these young students was
I have always had a particular moment in mind for when Pomfrey first noticed your connection in second year
It was the first time Remus got injured enough during a full moon to stay at the infirmary overnight, at a time where none of his dormmates knew
You, on the other hand...
Pomfrey opened the door to her office chambers right by the entrance to the infirmary at the frantic knocking. A sigh was already brewing on her lips at whatever piece of work must be waiting for her outside the wooden door this early.
She flung it open only to nearly hit your reddened, almost teary face.
"Madam Pomfrey," you squeaked in that youngin voice it seems all students spouted at that age. "Is Remus here?"
The concern was evident on your face, etched into your every furrow that were much deeper than a child should have. "I'm afraid I cannot answer that, Miss L/N," she said, not without sympathy. Patient confidentiality and all.
"Please," you whispered. "I know he's here, it was a full moon. Please can I go see him."
Unable to do anything else in the face of such youthful misery, and having heard in passing from Dumbledore before that "the Ravenclaw girl knows", she merely gestured in the direction of Remus' overnight bed.
A "thank you!" had barely made it past your lips before you walked away so quickly it could rival someone running – a loophole you had already found to the "no running in the halls" rule, surely.
Pomfrey followed to see you fling yourself to the floor beside Remus' bed, not even sparing the time to drag one of the nearby chairs closer to sit more comfortably. Your knees were on the cold floor, your hands scrambling to find his laying limp and bandaged on the white linen, but when you did, your touch turned almost painfully gentle.
"Rem? Remmy, cariad, it's me. Hi, hi, it's me." Your voice was soft, a gentle waking of the boy who should technically still be sleeping. It was clear you couldn't help yourself.
Remus' heavy eyelids fluttered open and the look in them once they found you, soft and at home, a stark contrast to how she found him the night before, struck Pomfrey right in the chest.
Oh, she had thought. This is going to be one of the lovestories I remember.
Thus, when she saw you two walking hand in hand as you passed the infirmary one of the last month of your 7th year, smiling widely and waving at her, she felt nothing short of contentment and warmth
Finally
Similarly with McGonagall and Dumbledore:
At the end of breakfast, there was nothing left to do but discreetly watch the students as they began preparing for the rest of their days, gaining an overview of what the dynamics were like at the moment and if they were all alright.
McGonagall's eyes were gliding over the Gryffindor table, not at all deterred by the splotch of blue that represented you in the midst of Potter and Co. She had grown more than used to you as an honorary member.
What did catch her attention, though, was when you got up and out of your seat, hoisting your bag over your shoulder to head off to a class you didn't share with the rest of them – right before you left, Remus caught your hand and pulled you down to him for a sweet kiss.
Not the forehead kisses she had seen before, not to the hand. No, he was smiling against your lips.
She arched an amused brow at the scene, glancing sideways to look at Dumbledore who was smiling into his plate.
"Yes," he said simply. "I saw."
She had to hide her smile behind her glass as she brought it up to drink. A silent toast.
All three of them would be invited to the wedding – which I don't think would be too far off after graduation
I imagine you got married the same year as Marlene and Dorcas; a big year of love for your friendgroup
Make no mistake, Sirius would be officiating it
This moment is definitely referenced in Remus' vows to you during the wedding:
“Should I ask you formally to be my girlfriend, or are we just skipping straight to marriage?” he whispered against your lips.
Remus felt almost wolfish when you barked a loud laugh, throwing your head back and tightening your hold on him instinctively. “I think girlfriend’s enough for now, yeah cariad?”
“If you insist.” He kissed you through his grin, realising that this was all he wanted to do now.
"I suggested it already the first day we became official, and even that was too late – I have always been yours and it is my utmost honour to have you always be mine."
Not a single dry eye in the room
James would specifically be crying into Hope's arms
Which Sirius would laugh at until he was a few more drinks in, at which point he would do the same with Effie
(Lily took pictures of both instances with her muggle camera, and they were some of the first in the wedding album)
Should there be an Order of the Phoenix (with a happy ending for all), you and Remus would act as the parental couple beside James, Sirius and Lily
And if you eventually make Remus secure enough in himself and his lycanthropy that he would dare have some puppies? Well, the more the merrier with this lot
The cheesiest, loveliest happily ever after you could desire 🤍
#🧸#carina's 2k celebration#carina celebrates: 2k followers#comment: it's nice to have a friend#inthaf#remus lupin#marauders#marauders era#marauders era au#background jilypad#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin headcanon#remus lupin reader insert#marauders era reader insert#marauders x reader#marauders x you#marauders x y/n#remus x reader#remus x you#remus x y/n
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totally unnecessary and personal diary entry but i love to overshare
getting a lot more sure of my heds dx recently (can’t see a specialist for a proper dx for possibly years so i’m on my own lol. i’m fairly sure i Just meet the strict criteria but even if they rule it’s not severe enough to call heds and it’s “just” hsd it’s quite obviously the same disorder so idc anymore)
so kinda getting it through my thick skull that my issues + needs are real even if they’re not the worst of the worst or don’t look exactly like someone else’s (and let’s face it. i’m constantly realizing they’re probably much worse than i think). so starting to rethink how i approach mobility aids as well, and the issue of short vs. long term damage and fatigue vs. pain and recovery vs. prevention and needing something vs. being helped by it
feeling a lotttt different than i did even a few days ago since some things were pointed out to me lol idk i think i’m finally kind of over the worst of the self doubt and moving on to the self care it’s been roughhhh but i’m feeling kind of majorly reinvented rn. like it’s real i have concrete evidence to point to i’m not crazy and i feel like i’m finally allowed to relax and take care of myself 🤧🤧
#basically did some research i hadn’t really thought to do yet#and then grilled my mom about some stuff#and now i’m like okay yeah. yeah#p
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😒
#work shit#everyones leaving for the summer so theyres only a few people left in my area#and therefore theyre vamping up everyones work schedules#and mines is still listed at 20 max but theyve been giving me 30+#and its like#haha yall are funny but yall need to quit before i do#honestly....... theyve always pulled shit like this from day 1#and its only a few months longer until ive almost been working a year#its def time for me to quit soon lol#hey us peeps where the fuck is hiring thats not a pos#i have a few in mind already but man#shits fucking roughhhh
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My resolution is to start a martial art and start learning a language!! I’ve always wanted to but I’ve never really had the time
ooh those sound fun!! I’ve been wanting to pick up martial arts again for a while (I did tae kwon do in middle school but that was a HOT minute ago lmao) but most places are still closed/online-only here and it feels dumb to commit for only a few months 😭 maybe I’ll pick it back up when I move!
what language do you want to learn? I’m attempting to learn Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese and French so if it’s any of those we should be language buddies 🥰
another new year’s resolution I have is to get back on a routine! my routine fell apart over the past few months of Zoom University™️ so I’m really trying to plan a better schedule that’ll keep me more productive and keep my mental health better than last semester (that was roughhhh). hopefully I can figure a good routine out!
send me one of your new year’s resolutions and I’ll tell you one of mine!
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