#nonconsensual outing

[mceajc]

My first real bloggy post thing

Let me introduce myself.

Hello, you can call me Roo. I'm 41 years old. I am trans.

But not like that.

I don't want to cross some gender dividing mountain range and get to the other side of the gender continent.

Partly because that analogy is silly.

It's what seems to pop automatically into people's heads when they hear someone is trans. "Oh, they want the big muscles, dick, chest hair and beard!" "Oh, they want the smooth skin, massive breasts and moist hole!"

Fuck off, no, I want to drift serenely above the whole gender continent, untouched by the physical manifestations, societal expectations and stupid legal definitions and strictures.

I have embarked on treatment for this, and this currently means I'm taking hormones and hormone suppressants - and have been for some time.

Today I had to try and explain that to my mother.

I was not nearly so coherent, and I fear there will have to be yet another awkward conversation.

Now you know a little bit - and if you're interested in reading on a bit more, I will go into detail. There might not be a TL;DR at the end.

My parents came to visit my home - for the first time since before the pandemic - so at least three years. My mother's sister had died after about six months of hospital time after an operation had complications, so of course I said yes, please come up and visit.

It was a fantastic weekend. We visited historic sights, we had pleasant meals out - all was calm. They drove home on Monday morning.

Tuesday, just after lunch, I get a phone call from my mother. She said "I found something in your bathroom bin, and I know what you've been doing." Or words to that effect - my memory is not functioning well at the moment, and it's never been superb. She wanted to talk then because dad wasn't home. I was at work, with colleagues all around, and I did NOT want to have this conversation at work. So I said I would phone her once I got home.

Three shaky hours later, my mind a blur, I am home, and I start the phone call.

I realise I am angry. She snooped through my bin? She has inserted herself into a situation I had actively been keeping from her - from EVERYBODY - because, well, it's none of anyone else's business.

And now she's asking questions - where are you getting these pills? Are you getting seen regularly by medical professionals? When did this start? What's the timeline for your future treatment? How far will it go? Questions I absolutely do not want to answer, have not been prepared to answer, possibly have no answer to.

Perhaps it is because we have never been a particularly sharing family. Perhaps it is because I failed to learn to be more involved in other people's lives. Perhaps it's because I know the hurt that a secret shared against your will - and especially when that secret isn't true - that I respect people's private lives utterly. If I learn something about someone that I think might be private information no matter how I learn it - that's as good as lost to the world unless I have that person's explicit consent to share it.

This is the context for learning that my dad is in the room with my mum. I thought she wanted to keep this knowledge to herself! Now, less than three hours after contacting me with the aim of having a private conversation about this, the number of people in the entire world who know this has gone up by an appreciable multiplier, and the number of people who aren't medical professionals has DOUBLED. I'm shaking with andrenaline. I can barely think. I try to stress how no matter what was going to happen in the future, I had never envisioned coming out publicly to my family. Not about being trans. Maybe about being Asexual - but not trans. Because of the assumptions. I hate the assumptions. I hate the questions, and I hate the questions based on the assumptions.

I know now that these are selfish feelings - but no less true and understandable. I have to try and be objective, and a long phone call with one of the very few people who know lets me recontextualise it from my mothers viewpoint. She cares for her child, wants to make sure that no harm will come to me, that I am doing things sensibly.

(As an aside, my decision to fully commit to transition occurred when I found myself on eBay looking at farm animal castration equipment - and I realised that a) I was serious about this, b) I was currently looking at the quick dumb dangerous path).

I am doing this responsibly. I have seen counselors. Medical professionals have been involved the moment they became available. They agree that this course of treatment is justified.

So the phone call with my mother (and father) moves on to other, less volatile topics - I forget who made the change of direction. But I am glad of this respite.

I have not yet fully understood that my life has changed again - must change again, and I must move forward in a world where my parents know a bit more about who I am.

Will they insist on becoming involved? How will I feel about that? Will I be forced to out myself to my siblings? Who else might exist in this future bubble of knowledge? Who else must I trust and who might betray that trust?

This self knowledge of who I am, this jealously guarded secret of more than a decade, it has slipped from my grasp.

I'm scared.

TL;DR: I was outed to my parents by sloppy housekeeping, and now I have to explain my entire existence to someone who isn't me, and I don't know how to cope.

[saintbleeding]

[ID: A seven-panel digital comic of Jon and Elias from TMA. Jon wears glasses, a collared shirt, and a cardigan, and has wounds and scars in various states of healing all over his visible skin. Elias wears a three-piece suit and half-moon spectacles. The first three panels are flanked by an anatomically correct eyeball and a heart-charm, with the two halves reading "wors/ties". In these panels, Jon says "So, if you could share some actually useful information to help me circumvent the apocalypse, that would be appreciated. ...Elias. *Elias.*" As he says this, Elias smirks wordlessly and looks directly at the viewer. In the next two panels, he speaks directly 'to the camera'. He says "This is sex to me. Don't tell Jonathan." His lower third says "Jonah ('Elias'): Long term acolyte/nefarious bureaucrat. Is in his "gone mild" era, astoundingly." The final two panels show Jon also speaking to the camera. His lower third says "Jonathan: Special little chew toy. Like the lovechild of a wet napkin and an overstimulated chihuahua." and he says "He *what*? ... jesus fucking christ." as he pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. End ID.]

in all frankness i just feel like whatever i have done here is Peak Jon/Elias Dynamic. sorry you're welcome

[fumifooms]

"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!

The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him

In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…

She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.

And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…

And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.

Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn

And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.

^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.

All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.

But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.

And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.

And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.

Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"

He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for

And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????

She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room

Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait

There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol

Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic

Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst

Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.

He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!

He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.

Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay

Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-

 Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts

A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy

Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw

To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀

And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)

So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees

……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu

So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……

[fourteentrout]

Tamlin before Calanmai: Listen. I am not going to be myself. I am going to act out of line, I'm going to seem like a completely different faerie--i will not be in control of the magic in my body. You NEED to stay away from me, or else I could seriously hurt you. No matter what my intentions may be, the magic will override them and make me act out, and you can't be there for that.

Lucien before Calanmai: stay in your room. Tamlin will literally be possessed by horny fuck magic, and if he smells you he won't be able to resist you, and it wont end well.

Feyre, after doing the exact opposite of what they told her to: how DARE you act out of line and be out of control and be unable to resist the magic that you told me you'd be unable to resist!!!!!

[laurikarauchscat]

pet

Queen Pavetta and her pet beast.

---

The Queen of Cintra keeps a monster chained to her throne.

She feeds it scraps from her own plate with her hands, and leads it lovingly to her bedroom each night.

It is said the beast fathered all of the Queen's children...

[anne-is-confused]

"firstly, i ABHOR the use of blood magic" SINCE WHEN???????

[saltysplayt00ns]

Home. PG 820 - Oh boy here we go

I don't think audience realize how serious the latest page is of Home comic without the dopamine clouding them about more puppies/kittens. I will update on this when this now added plot if shown more through the public viewing. So we got a " golden lioness" WRONG despite the Wiki stating the lion was actually golden we have instead ANOTHER black colored character with Pixie dust. No it's not speculated or perceived, it is stated that the Lioness IS golden. So either Kique forgot, wanted to do an april fools joke in the middle of October or he really is just lazy that he can't even look up a simple Google search of " Golden Lions/Lionesses"

So We got an entity that only aids the Feline kind and not Canids, This means the deity will not associate with other dogs' prayers of any kind but will for the Felidae kind. It is the reason why they’ve received the bow & arrows. To protect their people from said canines, and from the track record I would not be surprised if she is vengeful and possibly judgmental of them.

This character already is an OP character ( OP = overpowering ), one with no flaws or buffers to compete with her powers except she will ghost canids. She can easily destroy the canines by giving the cats the upper and, and be the top of the food chain, she can easily kill a canine if a feline prays for it, cause havoc and whatnot...you see what I am getting here?? heck she can do it without the people's prayers cause she literally just did it twice. The reason why I stated this?? This is because, on the Latest Home page, Feaf is now bearing a Hybrid from fornicating with Rhovanion instead of aiding Ronja and the tribe. Her having kids isn’t wrong?? But it is unnecessary and irrelevant to the story ( I will get to that in a bit ), it's the fact the Deity did it WITHOUT CONSENT. 

Everyone with a brain knows what consent is, even kids, elders, writers, etc. learned to ask something for permission of approval or business with contracts,  which is a form of consent. An agreement upon something to happen or commence, The lioness is already trying to ‘ bless’ the pregnancy without even talking to them in a dream or privately to the Taiga.

We have seen Horror media content and writing of this trope and people forcing others to child bear without their knowledge or even up to know about it. That is nightmare fuel. Whose to say The lioness just gives other inter-species couples children without their whereabouts, and not solely on a Male dog with a female cat but a MALE cat and female dog can end up in the same fate cause there is a cat in the mix to bless their spouse to bear. Like seriously people instead of them working their differences and hurdles, they easily got the situation handled in under 1-3 pages like every conflict kique tries to put in his comic. -----

Now on the pregnancy aspect, Feaf becoming pregnant is very irrelevant to the plot of Home. Now Home doesn’t really have a plot after Rogio was saved, it's just broken pieces stitched together and being overinflated with unfinished, reoccurring, and new plot lines. Feaf should NOT be having children for;

1. Feaf and Rhov are two different species.

2. Feaf and Rhovanion barely got the time to get to know each other and grow but now we have this osmosis litter on the way.

3. Rhov and Feaf have not shown them to be good parents to rear as we didn’t have screen time for them to show it. At least Kainen and Raela from Asmundr proved to be good parental figures and individuals. Rhovanion so far had lied, stayed complacent despite having free reign to search for his family, and tried to get one of the guild members in trouble and/or fired for sneaking off and is very inconsiderate more so forgotten what his tasks were. Feaf has so far been gaslighted 3 times when Rhov stated time and time again that he was leaving to find his family and mate, is also forgetful and inconsiderate of her tasks and if given is willing to do anything Rhovanion asks or initiates to her.

4. There are 4 wars happening in Home so far; Southspear x The Capitol, Ranach x Meteor, Ranach x The Capitol, and Rohgir.

5.  The deity is being rather inconsiderate and unfair, since Raimo and Zaharia were already an interspecies couple who lost their Son. If the golden lioness was that powerful they should have revived Zilas or led to a spirit that can do it. Rogio did it for Kargo despite his body being burned…. Why not Zilas???

6.  Kique is only doing this to have a reason for  Rhovanion and Feaf to stay in one spot instead of going to Ronja or Jahla. It's also obviouse he doesn't know what to do with Feaf or Rhov except be parents, when they could...oh - I don't know, GO AND SAVE RONJA FROM THE RAID WITH ASMUNDR!!!!

7. The author is out of ideas and boredom while also trying to bring more audiences. ------

If you stated “ WelL FEaf GrAB tHe FeATher sO ShE CoNSenTEd “ if that’s the case it is STILL wrong for the spirit basically deceive Feaf to grab the feather and not know the consequences, again they did not disclose that to Feaf. Rhov and Feaf probably didn’t even know what it meant and Rhovanion is not one to dabble on cultural deity knowledge.

If Feaf did know about it, then it’s scummy on her cause she just hid something important that Rhov should definitely know about. Kids and pregnancy should not be a tool/leverage to keep someone from leaving you. " MaYbE thEy WAntEd iT” WHERE IS IT!!!, WHERE’S THE PROOF!?. You can’t have this left field and expect people to accept it and not be confused. No where has Feaf nor Rhov had discussed nor thought about having kids. THEY BOTH AGREED TO JOIN THE GUILD. which states they can not have mates nor children ( although the guild rules are just bluntly stupid ) so they already knew from start of that and didn't express concerns...especially Rhov who is the one to question stuff. At this point the deities and spirits in Home are a parody and NOT taking seriously of moral, consequences and the dangers. The characters are literally heavily plot armored and the beings are second thought of a joke in worldbuilding.

[rivercule]

One thing I will say. There’s no way the penthouse shit went down like that. “Hey I’m gonna leave you here with this guy who could easily kill either of us and has every reason, as far as I know, to want you dead. Don’t worry I sternly told him to leave you alone. Oh wait he turned you into a vampire? Yeah I’m sure that was uneventful. Not sure that qualifies as hurting you either so I think we’re all good.”

They’re definitely going to revisit that.

[knifemare-writing]

my insane dol fan theory that will 100% be proven wrong eventually is that Avery is secretly Whitney's parent.

not in a Whitney being secretly rich way (ew), but in a like one night hookup/short term relationship that led to a totally unacknowledged and possibly unknown about child. it only really makes any sense with an Avery who can get others pregnant, and since thats up to the player it wouldn't happen even if there was evidence for it.

But I like the idea of Avery secretly having a child your age a lot, and the idea of Whitney having a single parent.

[what-the-stark]

// Hey all, just checking in from Houston. The hurricane was worse than we expected, power and nets are down, and the estimate for repair so far is 'days'. Phone data is also down, but I'll reach out with updates as I'm able. ❤️

[desperatepleasures]

it's so funny to me that there are antis in the kkm fandom. the fandom where the main ship is "15yo boy who gets into a relationship against his will" and "guy who also did not want the relationship but then changes his mind and guilts him into not breaking it off" and that's the ship the antis like. if that's not to your liking well there are plenty of grown adult men you can ship the 15yo boy with!

[bolithesenate]

in a fight, Kad, right?

[sunshiline-writes]

PART I: DEVOUR ME

Cannibalism | Sliced | Impaled 

CW: gore, cannbalism, impaled with a branch, creepy lady (idk), monsters, non-human monsters, bleeding out, fear of death, forced autocannbalism, nonconsensual turning into a fellow monster thing let me know if I missed anything

--

A cough is what woke him up. His own, spasming, throbbing cough that ripped through him with such intensity he almost passed out again. The man grabbed the piece of bark that was stuck through his stomach. Blood dripped from it. He groaned, trying to sit up, but was hit with another wave of agony as he moved even a little bit. He screamed and the sound echoed in his ears. It may have echoed in the pit that he had fallen into. But that wasn’t how sound worked. As he looked up at the trees, the stars behind them, everything there was a stillness in the world. Like not even the wind dared to sing. The birds were silent, the leaves didn’t even rustle. He thought about how he got here. There was a noise, a deep growl, and he was running so hard and so fast. Then he was falling. Something ripped straight through his gut and he was sure that he was dead. If he didn’t know any better,  he would have said this was a trap. But the hole wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t dug with a shovel, it was almost like a cavern in the ground. The branches of the tree’s overhead must have fallen between the cracks. Now he had also fallen between the cracks and was stuck on one of those branches. Literally impaled on a stick. 

His roommate would have made a kebab joke by now. That was how he felt. Meat on a stick, too weak to pull himself off. He forced himself to look at the piece of bark coming from his body. The dark red that had started to dry, the red creeping around his shirt. There were pieces of flesh and something else, (he prayed that it was not what he thought it was). They dripped from the dark bark, soaking in his blood, drinking it into the wood. He grabbed the bark again, cringing at the stickiness of it. Again he tried to pull himself off it. Groaning and screaming with pain as he managed to get himself halfway up, feeling the pieces of bark ripping through more layers of skin, organ, muscles, everything. He let go and fell back to the ground with a thud and another scream. 

“Need some help there sugar?” came a voice from on top of the place where he fell. Face barely peeking through over the edge. A woman, face pale and gaunt. She looked more fragile than he felt. 

“Call for help!” he cried out, wincing and coughing again, blood spewing from his lips. Dribbling down his chin. “It went straight through me, I think it's the only thing keeping me together.” A slight laugh went through him, making him wince and spasm around the intrusion. When he looked up again, she was standing over him. 

“What’s your name, sugar?” the thick, nasally accent was right above him, staring him in the face. 

“I-I how did..” 

“You don’t look so well. I have to call the police, but I need your name for that, sugar.” 

“Vinnie.. Vincenceo.” 

“Vinnie,” she said, tasting his name on her tongue. She crouched lower to him. Finger touching the bark covered in blood. The blood came away on her finger tip and she slowly licked it away, eyes closed, savoring it. 

“Oh jesus,” he said, shaking his head and groaning. “No no no, I’ve gotta be hallucinating you did not just do that. Jesus christ. What the fuck.”   

“It’s just a little something to keep me going, something to sustain me. I can help you.. I can, I just need,” there was a chunk of something on the bark, she grabbed it between her index finger and thumb, rolling it around a bit before popping it in her mouth. Like it was a piece of popcorn or a normal snack. 

“Oh god. Oh god. Stop. Stop. Just get me out of here! Get me out. Please help me. Stop it please.” 

She continued to wrap her hands on the tree bark, then licking his blood off her hands. Hungry, ravaging, a personification of gluttony. He watched her in horror as she cleaned the bark so much so that he could see the original grey-brown color it was before he was impaled on it. Whimpering and blubbering for this woman, this thing, to stop. It went on forever and he could hear his own blood dripping onto the ground. The world silent except for the sounds of her licking her lips and chewing greedily on what she could. 

She kneeled beside him. “Would you like a taste?” 

Vinnie clamped his mouth firmly shut and shook his head. The woman laughed and sat down on her knees, carding a hand through his hair. Tangled with sweat, sticking to his forehead. “It’s sweet, you’re a sweet person. I can tell from the way you taste. You didn’t deserve this did you? It’s such a shame you’re already dead.” 

“What?” 

“Mmhmm poor thing. You poor, poor thing.” 

Something about this woman had changed since she’d.. indulged. Her face was less pale and gaunt. As if she had gotten healthier just from the small amount of feeding. Vinnie sobbed softly, eyes screwed tightly shut. 

“You’re already dying, sugar,” she said softly, “I can save you. All you have to do have a taste of something. Do you want to taste, sugar?” 

Vinnie thought about it for a moment, sobbing and agony spread through him again as he threw his head back and screamed. She caught his hand on her wrist, grip ice cold. Actually it was more of the grip, she was cold. It went straight through his wrist. Her grip tightened. The woman grinned and her teeth sharpened, her face elongated and everything seemed to warp around him as she bit into his wrist. Pain, agonizing pain spreading through his arm as he felt her teeth crunch into his skin, into tendons, into the veins and pulling away, taking a chunk of him with her. “GOD PLEASE,” he screamed and blood dripped to the ground as she chewed, everything about her changing as she then let his hand go and bit into her own wrist. She pulled away a chunk of her skin as well and began to chew. Vinnie’s world was fading in and out. Too much blood, he’d lost far too much blood, especially with the new wound on his wrist, dripping unceremoniously on the forest floor. 

“Please. Please. Go away. Go aw-” 

Her mouth closed over his and he gasped and his hands were on her shoulders trying to push her away. A mixture of blood, soggy chewed flesh was pushed into his mouth. His hair was gripped and forced his head back, and he was forced to swallow as she only used her tongue to push the mixture further down his throat. He coughed and fought the wave of nausea as he turned his face to the side when she let him go. Then she grinned down at him, moving to stand over him. She moved her hand’s underneath his shoulders and pulled, releasing him from the bark that had went through him and throwing Vinnie roughly on the ground next to the tree. 

His world went white as he screamed, convulsing and pressing his face deeper into the mud that was mixed with his own blood. 

*** 

He should be dead. Bled out, on the floor. Gone. Dead. Those were the words that should have described him. But instead he was sitting upright, the woman had made a fire in this little cavern with the tree that had impaled him. And he was hungry. 

The woman sat across from him on the other side of the fire. A pot of soup hanging over it. How did that even get here? How was he not only.. Not dead but.. There was not a hole through his stomach, there was not a chunk missing from his wrist. He was… alive, and he was so hungry.  

“The soup is ready, sugar,” she said softly. 

“What’s in it?” Vincent asked. 

He was only met with a smile as she poured him a bowl and handed it to him. Vinnie ignored the way the chunks of meat tasted awfully similar to his earlier encounter. He ignored the eyeball that floated to the top when he mixed it. He ignored the way he was still hungry when he finished. 

“More?” 

“Yes please.” 

-- taglist : @coyotehusk @burntcoffeewhump @whumpbees @just-a-silly-little-whumper @lektricwhump ask if you'd like to be added or removed.

[galacticforces]

@ourcwnside sent:

"I'm going to kill them for doing this to you" { Crowley for Aziraphale bc you're so right he does deserve to be rescued }

Aziraphale was trembling, cold, lightheaded from the pain, clearly in shock. But even in this state, he knew that was a bad idea. "You can't. Crowley- Crowley, you can't." Because if he tried, all of Heaven would simply kill Crowley instead.

[serpuntine]

[Image Description: A white page torn out of a book with black ink used for blackout poetry. A pencil and two pens sit on the corner of the page. The title 'God's Love for Man' is printed at the top. "Fuck God" is written in messy black marker in the top left corner. The poem reads -

"God is the adaptation of man.

The rain and seas speak to us in beautiful words,

'Eyes openest and desire living'.

The Creator's hand bore God's law that has brought suffering.

God's love cursed the thorn and the thistle as a part of God's plan for ruin and degradation.

The fallen all are flowers upon the thistles."]

[idont-know-whats-going-on]

Have I mentioned hOW MUCH I DESPISE YORU?????