#non clique students

[gordisaquaberrymodel]

Screamed when i saw you do those 'this uswr loves' twmplate things and this feels kinda awkward to ask but can i ask for constantinos 😛😛

Never feel awkward, I’m always happy to receive such asks and requests! ^^

Here’s your boy ☆

[sanakiras]

BLOOM FOR ME

PAIRING — finance major!mingyu x law major!reader

WORD COUNT — 18.1k

SYNOPSIS — even though you and mingyu share the same friends, there’s a clear distance between you. when you make a drunken mistake, he suddenly becomes increasingly aware of your lack of a relationship with him, and he takes on the challenge of changing it — not expecting to fall for the ice princess who turns out to be less cold than he thought.

TAGS — college au, slice of life, strangers to fwb to lovers, angst, fem!reader, slowburn-ish, rollercoaster of somewhat unrealistic events, minor use of the fake dating trope, not proofread, explicit sexual content, inexpressive!reader, fear of intimacy, once again a fic that seemed better in my head than the finished product but idc!

♪ — pearly drops - bloom for me,, kid cudi - kitchen,, the fugees & ms lauryn hill - killing me softly with his song

NOTE — sooo this fic is pure self-indulgence because i wrote mc as a character very similar to myself! some of these scenes are based on my own experiences :D my personality type is intj which i incorporated a lot here, do with that what you will x

you and kim mingyu just don't work.

to be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who didn’t like him or get along with him. most people on campus either wanna be him or be with him — which makes sense, ‘cause he seems to have it all. he’s smart, talented, and awfully good-looking.

and in hindsight, you have no clue as to how or why you landed in his little clique a few months ago, which is composed of a bunch of guys who appear to have very little in common.

all you remember is how joshua, a pre-med student with a soft voice and a passion for playing guitar, introduced himself to you as you were both assigned to help out with student orientation week at the start of the new academic year, and the rest became history.

you’re not sure how he managed to wiggle his way into your personal life, or why he seems so goddamn keen to be there for that matter. the same goes for his friends — chan, seungcheol, soonyoung, minghao, seokmin and mingyu. you’re closest to joshua and seokmin, though you get along well with most of the group.

soonyoung is pursuing performing arts, and he’s loud — extremely loud. you like his sense of humor though. chan does theatre and has mentioned he wants to have his own dance studio later in life. seokmin also does theatre and is arguably the biggest ray of sunshine you’ve ever met. cheol is a business administration major, a great debater, has quite the fire in him, and he looks great in a suit. minghao is more reserved — a psychology major. very sweet and polite, likes to meditate and is surprisingly good at martial arts as well.

and then there’s mingyu.

he studies finance, though he’s considerably less obnoxious than most of the students who pursue said degree. from what you’ve gathered, he has quite the range of talents, which, in all fairness, is pretty impressive.

the guy might as well be the complete opposite of you. he’s popular, loud, outgoing, smiles a lot, known to have a real heart of gold. an entertainer.

you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. much more on the quiet side, usually only speaking up if you deem it necessary with a sarcastic quip, more often skipping social gatherings than actually attending them.

yet in spite of your closed-off nature, the majority of people closest to you are extroverted, always trying to pull you with them in their adventures, though remaining respectful and understanding when you don’t come with — because that’s just the way you are.

perhaps that’s the sole reason why your relationship with mingyu can easily be described in a single word.

non-existent.

neither of you have anything against each other — it’s just that, out of the group, you seem to have the least of a connection with him. you certainly never do anything together or talk to one another when you’re not with the rest of the guys, and even during the moments you are, saying you’ve had a proper conversation with him would be an overstatement.

for the most part, aside from saying one-worded greetings and goodbyes, you pretty much just disregard the other’s existence.

or, well — that used to be the case.

because there’s this dirty secret the friend group doesn’t know about — and that’s that you and mingyu slept together.

it happened only a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be a simple, fun night dancing and letting loose at soonyoung’s party, which he hosted right after midterms were over. everyone got drunk, including you — way more drunk than usual, it was terrible — and the only thing you remember is waking up in a room you’d never seen before, a bed that definitely didn’t feel like the one you wake up in every morning, your clothes discarded on the floor, and his warm body next to yours.

had you been even the slightest bit sober back then, you absolutely wouldn’t have gotten into bed with him.

it’s not that you don’t find him attractive. on the contrary. he’s sex on a stick, with his strong arms, small waist, sharp jawline and beautiful tan skin — it’s no surprise he’s done several modeling jobs for some extra cash.

but despite all of that, casual hook-ups with people in your circle are not your thing. they’re not his either.

neither of you remember much of that night. you two are rarely ever alone together, so it’s practically been impossible to talk to you about it, and you’ve never been close enough with one another to even text or meet up.

after the incident, you just continued living your life like everything was the same as before. honestly, for the most part, it was.

but mingyu likes to take risks in life. that, and being open about his feelings is just who he is. so he wants to talk to you, privately.

when he finally does manage to catch you alone, which happens to be right after you’ve walked out of your criminal law class, you’re not exactly welcoming to him.

“what are you doing at the other side of campus?” is all you greet him with.

“i’m good, thank you for asking.” he jokes in an attempt to make things more light-hearted, but you don’t pull a single muscle, face remaining the exact same, so he swallows and clutches the strap of his shoulder bag a little tighter. “i, uh... i felt like we should talk about what happened the other night. soonyoung’s party.”

“what’s there to talk about?”

“what we did. together.”

“we fucked. so what?”

oh. that’s a much more blunt response than he expected, even if he is used to those kind of remarks from you.

“well—” he cuts himself off, really cursing himself for not properly thinking of what to say to you before showing up outside of your lecture hall all of a sudden, “don’t you think it’s something we gotta discuss?”

“you want a professional analysis about how much i enjoyed it or something?” you ask with a furrowed brow. “not that i’d be able to give you one, considering it was all just a blur.”

“yeah, i can’t exactly remember much of it either. look, i... i don’t usually hook up with people i’m friends with—”

“except we’re not friends. i don’t think you’ve ever said as much to me as you have in this conversation.”

even though it’s true, it does feel like a slap across the face for a reason he can’t pinpoint. he’s aware you can be blunt sometimes, but this is more than people usually get out of you.

“fine. we’re just acquaintances. but we do share the same friends.” he says after a moment of awkward silence, his tone sounding a little colder than before, subconsciously trying to compensate for your unwelcoming attitude. “doesn’t that matter to you?”

sucking at the inside of your cheek, you sigh. “did your roommate notice me?”

his roommate being jeon wonwoo, the cute computer science major who likes to spend his free time working out and playing video games, always walking around campus with headphones stuck in his ears and a pair of glasses up on his nose. he and mingyu are both on the football team, you’re pretty sure.

“no. he didn’t see a thing. not as far as i know, anyway.”

“good. so that means we can both just pretend it never happened, yeah?” the smile you put on your face is so painfully fake that it makes him clench his jaw.

“yeah.” he mumbles bitterly, and you move away from him, going down the stairs, and mingyu rests his head against the wall, huffing in annoyance and embarrassment.

to be completely honest, he’s not sure why the whole ordeal bothers him so much. what you said was all true, even if you could’ve worded it differently.

many, many questions pop up in his mind. do you have something against him? do you not like him? if that’s the case, why? has he ever said something that caused you to get a bad impression of him? what do his friends have that he doesn’t, aside from considerably shorter legs?

he’s not sure what it is about you he finds so weirdly intriguing, but whatever it is, he’s discovered a fresh determination in him to find out.

mingyu is unsure of how to handle the situation with you. every time you look at him, all he sees is utter disinterest, though there’s very little he can make out of your facial expressions in the first place.

he finds himself seated at a table in the library with minghao, seungcheol and chan, pondering over the exam he’s got coming up at the end of the week, said thoughts coming to a halt once he spots you at the other side of the hall.

his gaze involuntarily follows you as you appear to be scanning a few bookshelves.

if he’s being honest, he’d already noticed you before the drunk-sex incident. he always thought you were pretty, and based on your your vocabulary and the way you spoke, he figured you were intelligent as well, so he silently admired you from afar.

and now, those feelings have only increased.

his eyes linger on your figure. it’s such a fucking shame he doesn’t remember his hands on your skin, the touch of your lips — he could actually cry just imagining it.

then he feels he’s getting too far in the sexual innuendos in his head, so he tells himself to stop right the hell now before his excitement starts to show in his pants.

god, he’s never like this. why is it irking him so much?

it’s chan — the youngest of the group — who grabs your attention, beckoning for you to come over to the table.

when you move to sit down on the empty chair between him and seungcheol, they begin to talk about how the shitty assignments they’re working on are so not worth their time, how one of cheol’s professors didn’t bother showing up for his lecture yesterday morning, and minghao mentions something about a new group project of his—

—and the whole fucking time, you feel mingyu’s gaze burning on you.

it both confuses and intrigues you. what the hell does he want now?

then when two of the boys get into a discussion, you stare right back at him, almost as if to tell him you’re aware of him watching you and you’re watching him as well, and a very thick yet silent tension rises between you.

he swears he catches the smallest glimpse of amusement in your features before you get up and tell them you’ve got to go to your lecture.

cheol raises his thick brow at his friend. “you’re uncharacteristically quiet.”

mingyu shrugs as he watches you walk out of the hall. “yeah, sorry. been a little preoccupied.”

“i can tell, ‘cause aren’t you supposed to be starting football practice right now?”

that snaps him out of it. he checks the silver watch sitting on his wrist, cursing to himself before grabbing his things and hastily throwing them into his bag before sprinting to his dorm.

the following day, as he’s working on his assignment, he decides to take out his phone, typing your username into the search bar on instagram.

your social media profile is as mysterious as you are. zero posts, some pretty aesthetic pictures found in your highlights as well as one or two with you on it, though blurry or with your face partially hidden.

it’s usually much easier for him to get close to people, yet with this, with you — it feels like the way is blocked, and he doesn’t know where to start.

tapping his finger on the table, he tells himself to make some kind of conversation with you the next time he sees you.

which is several days later, when the friend group is meeting up at a restaurant for dinner and drinks.

by the time he arrives — later than planned due to a study session running behind — everyone is already seated, including you. he’d hoped to secure a spot next to you for once, but you’re seated between joshua and seungcheol instead. the only vacant spot is at the other side of the table.

well, shit.

the worst thing is that you don’t seem to spare him a single glance. every time he looks your way, you’re either zoned out or intently listening to the boys around you as they tell their stories, with you throwing in a sarcastic little quip every now and then, making them laugh.

what he doesn’t notice is that you do look at him — he’d be surprised by the amount of times your eyes wander back to him, subtly observing him from a distance when he rambles about something his professor did during class or what went down during football practice.

he’s so handsome that it almost gets annoying to look at him.

it’s an hour before midnight when you decide to get going — you have an unnecessarily early class tomorrow and still gotta get back to your dorm. so you grab your coat and bag, announcing you’re leaving, after which they say they don’t like the idea of you going back on your own, but you refute it and tell them you’ll be fine like always.

“i can take you. i just remembered i gotta catch up with some things anyways before class tomorrow.”

mingyu’s sudden statement makes you blink at him a few times.

it’s not that he’s never offered to take you home before, ever the gentleman, but the situation always ends up with you either going home on your own with them keeping an eye on your location or one of the other guys taking you back, so his sudden eagerness to escort you to your dorm catches you by surprise.

it’s mainly joshua and minghao who catch onto your slight change in demeanor, but their puzzled looks are gone as soon as they came. they’ve had quite a few drinks, after all, and you’re pretty sure soonyoung is so drunk he’s on the verge of tears at the other side of the table, distracting them.

both you and mingyu say your goodbyes to the rest of the group before exiting the restaurant, embracing the fresh air outside.

it’s early october, your favorite time of year. you’re fond of the cloudy skies, the temperature right between warm and cold, and the leaves changing colors.

mingyu walks next to you on the sidewalk, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark denim jacket.

“i’m sorry for being rude the other day,” you speak up, breaking the silence, “i have a habit of being too straightforward for my own good.”

oh.

he didn’t expect this from you, but it’s a pleasant surprise, even if you’re not looking him in the eye at all.

so he shrugs. “it’s okay. looking back, i didn’t really know where i wanted the conversation to go, anyways.”

“i assumed you were just gonna ask me to keep it between us.”

“i didn’t even think about that, to be honest. i just don’t do stuff like that with friends, so... i guess i was just curious about your thoughts or something.”

you bare your teeth in a bitter smile, still refraining from looking in his direction when he’s clearly looking at your face. “you called me your friend again.”

the comment doesn’t sit right with him. “do you mind me asking why that bothers you?”

“it bothers me ‘cause it’s not the truth.”

god, you certainly do not sugarcoat things.

“do you... is there anything i did to make you dislike me?”

mingyu watches the way you clench your jaw at his question. it intrigues him. “i never said i disliked you, mingyu. i’m just picky about who i consider close to me and i don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression. sharing friends doesn’t make us friends.”

“not even a little bit?”

you chuckle again. he wonders what he’d have to do to elicit a real, genuine laugh from you. “name one of my hobbies. something i like to do in my spare time. the basics don’t count.”

he eagerly starts his sentence. “well, you like to... y’know... hang out with us.”

“i said no basics.”

“okay. fine. you got me. but, to be fair, you also gotta admit you don’t exactly share much.”

“you know who i do share things with? my friends.” you tease him, after which he laughs. you like the sound of his laugh.

“you’re evil.”

“thank you.”

he turns around, walking backwards in front of you so he can face you, finally getting the eye contact he’s been waiting to get. “i wanna be friends.”

“congratulations.”

“oh, c’mon. work with me here.”

“i would if it wasn’t so much fun to see you acting like this.”

mingyu feels a certain excitement rushing through his body when he sees how you look at him. “let’s get to know each other better. how about twenty questions?”

“oh, you mean like a conversation?”

he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “i’ll go first. what’s a hobby of yours?”

“such depth,” you snicker, “i like to ice skate.”

“really? that’s cool.” he smiles, tilting his head. “okay. you gotta ask me a question now.”

“which of your friends is closest to you?”

yeah, he should’ve seen something like that coming. of course you wouldn’t go for small talk.

he ponders over the question before giving his answer. “minghao.”

“hm. interesting.” you just hum, clearly having no intention of explaining it, so you gesture for him to come up with another question.

“do you think you’ll ever be close with me?”

“no.”

“why?”

“not your turn.” you tell him, simultaneously trying to find out how far you can take this. “how many girls have you slept with?”

“four. why do you think we won’t ever be close friends?”

“because we’re too different. you can’t stand the fact that i give nothing away, i can sense it a mile from here.”

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then?”

“i’m… i don’t know, a people person. i want to get along with everyone, want everyone i like to like me. maybe that’s selfish, but… yeah. i like you and i wanna be your friend. it bothers me that you don’t.” he feels the words suddenly tumbling out of his mouth are taking the conversation elsewhere, so he tries his best to not come across as too intense. “i’m sorry for pestering you about it, i’ll just... walk you to your dorm and leave you be.”

he wants to increase the distance between you, but you don’t let him. your hand moves to his upper arm, touching him, but it’s gone before he can even look at it.

physical touch has never been one of your strong points, despite craving it at the same time. “i’m gonna say it one more time and that’s it — i don’t dislike you. maybe… i don’t know, maybe we could have a strong friendship, who knows. if you wanna prove me wrong, be my guest. i won’t stop you.”

“okay. anything i should know?”

you pout your lips as you think of things to mention. “i’m not a huge fan of texting. i prefer calling or meeting up in person. i’m more of a listener than a talker. i’m also a bit of a control freak so i’m not big on surprises. that’s all you’re getting for now.”

he thinks over your words and smiles. “i can work with that.”

not much later, you arrive at the university campus, and you use your card to enter your building, walking out front.

mingyu clearly feels it’s mandatory to follow you all the way to your door.

once you’ve arrived at your dorm, you lean against the doorpost. “thanks for taking me home.”

“you’re welcome. see you tomorrow.” he says. normally he’d give his friends something like a hug when saying goodbye like this, but he has a gut feeling you’re not very fond of physical contact with people who aren’t close to you, so he lets that go for now.

“bye.” the playful smile is audible in your voice before you close your door, and mingyu leaves your building with a sickeningly nice feeling in his stomach.

and he remains on your mind, especially once you watch him walk towards his own dorm from behind the window, unaware of your gaze.

it makes you scoff to yourself. you’ll give it to him — he’s sparked your interest.

“hey. mingyu.”

he’s roughly pulled from observing you in his secure spot in the university library by jeonghan, his partner for a project he’s working on. “what?”

“what’s going on? you’re awfully distracted.”

“it’s—nothing.” he responds, voice an octave higher. maybe he should quit this habit of looking at you every time he comes here.

“has anyone ever told you you’re a shitty liar?”

“many times, actually.”

“good. ‘cause you are.”

jeonghan is shorter than he is, with more of a lanky physique and slightly longer hair. he’s also the most annoying little shit mingyu knows — despite the guy being older than him — because he somehow. knows. everything. all the time. he knows things about mingyu before he knows them himself. if anything, it’s a talent.

“so who’s the girl?” jeonghan then asks in a more hushed tone, using his pencil to point at the girl in question.

mingyu looks in your direction again, taking notice of how nice you look today, and he just gives in to his friend, not even bothering to try and act stupid. “friend of a friend.”

“what does she do?”

“law.”

“she nice?”

“to a specific group of people, yeah.”

“oh, she’s a little mean to you, huh?”

“not mean. just distant. very distant.”

“that’s new.”

“what is?”

“you going for girls like that. it’s refreshing.”

“yeah, well—she doesn’t go for guys like me.”

“what do you mean?”

“i’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me at all. she’s wildly unimpressed by my presence, anyway.”

“how do you know?”

mingyu sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “she’s very close with joshua and seokmin, likes the rest of the guys too, but me… i don’t know. we’ve been in the same friend group for a year, and it’s like i’m the only one she doesn’t feel comfortable with. bothers me.”

“you’ve known her for a whole year and it’s only bothering you now?” jeonghan senses there’s more going on. “what led up to this? got into an argument?”

the younger of the two scoffs. “not at all. the contrary, actually.”

jeonghan jokingly throws in the first thing he can think of. “what, did you accidentally kiss her when you were drunk or something?”

“not entirely. we were both drunk, for starters.” mingyu comments, the next sentence muttered much more quietly. “and we had sex.”

a scoff of surprise leaves jeonghan’s mouth. “you slept together? when?”

“soonyoung’s party.”

“that was weeks ago. haven’t you talked about it? at all?” he asks, clearly invested in the story now.

“i brought it up, she brushed it off and said it meant nothing. told her i wanted to be friends with her a couple days later, but she said she doesn’t think we’ll ever be good friends ‘cause we’re too different, and it’s fucking killing me for some reason. she still said she was… open to friendship though.”

“ah, you like her.”

“yeah, obviously. problem is that she hates me.”

“no, i mean, you like her. you don’t just want to be her friend.”

mingyu is somewhat taken aback by his words. “i don’t have a crush.”

“don’t fool yourself. you’d never get this worked up over someone not wanting to be friends with you — you’re worked up because you wanna get to know her better and she doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know you at all.”

“i can’t be in love with someone i hardly know.”

“debatable. you still have a crush on her.”

“fine. whatever. say that were the case — purely hypothetical of course — what should i do to get her attention?”

jeonghan has that knowing smile on his face, the one that makes him look like he’s up to no good. “you gotta get a little selfish.”

“could you be a little less vague for once in your life?”

“create a circumstance where she spends time with you without it being planned.” he shrugs, as if that answers it. “something like getting stuck in an elevator for a few hours. you know what i mean.”

“well, unless you were planning on hijacking the elevator somehow, i don’t think i have all that many options.”

right there and then, the two recognize another student from their statistics class sitting a few tables further. she’s giggling to her friends about something, hesitantly looking their way, pointing at them.

“speaking of crushes, she’s got one on you.” jeonghan mentions, raising his brow.

it doesn’t interest mingyu all that much. “yeah, she asked me out a while back. i told her i was busy. didn’t have the heart to flat-out reject her. in hindsight, maybe i should’ve, ‘cause she acts like that every time i see her around.”

jeonghan can’t help but take advantage of the opportunity currently presenting itself like a fucking birthday cake. “are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

“probably not, since i have no idea what you’re getting at.”

he leans a bit closer to his taller friend, speaking in a more hushed tone this time. “you could reject her — subtly.”

mingyu frowns at that. “how?”

and jeonghan smirks a little to himself before he’s about to tell him his plan. “you’ve heard of fake dating before, right?”

the following day, you find yourself in the library of the law faculty, reviewing the slides of the lecture you didn’t feel like attending this morning.

someone drops their bag ever-so-subtly on the table at the empty spot next to you, and when you look up from your notes, you recognize your dearest acquaintance.

you huff, removing one of your earbuds to engage in the conversation you didn’t ask for. “what do you want?”

“you have got to stop saying that when you see me.”

“no, i like it this way.”

“of course you do.” mingyu merely scoffs at your words, sitting down next to you. “you look busy.”

“gee. it’s almost as if i am busy.”

“what’re you working on?”

“undoubtedly nothing you have any knowledge of.”

he rolls his eyes when you grin at him, clearly ready to dodge his questions with more of your sarcastic comments.

“are you always this much on edge?”

“mhm. i hope you are too — otherwise you’re taking up too much space.”

the comment has him frowning at first, and then he gets it, making him let out a vaguely impressed scoff. “you’re cute.”

“not exactly the word i would use.”

“really?” he says, taking the cap off his water bottle, “i think it suits you.”

you squint your eyes at him, finally taking the bait. “what do you want? seriously.”

he shifts in his seat, clearly happy you’re finally going along with him here. “you know the senior gala on thursday, right?”

“yeah. i’m not attending.”

“okay. here’s the thing — i kind of have this girl in one of my classes who won’t stop bothering me about going out on a date with her and stuff.”

“gosh, poor you.”

“i’m serious. it sucks.”

“what does this have to do with you bothering me?”

“well, i figured if she finally saw me with someone else, she’d back off.” he explains, leaning a bit closer to you. “meaning i need a plus-one who’s willing to play my girlfriend for the night.”

“so?”

“so, i’d like you to be my plus-one.” he grins.

“why?”

“why not?”

“you’re saying you wanna pretend to be dating?” you ask, and when he nods, you shake your head. “no one’s gonna believe that.”

“yeah, they will. it’s perfect. same friend group, completely different majors so she probably doesn’t know you — c’mon, consider it.”

he’s surprisingly convincing, as if he already knows how to crack your demeanor. you remain stubborn, though. “out of all the girls you’ve got in your contacts, you’re asking me?”

“you’ve made it clear we’re only acquaintances — i wanna change that. become friends. just like i told you.”

you finally lock eyes with him again, taking your pen away from the paper, refusing to back down once you notice how close he is. “i don’t know what you’re expecting, but you’d get nothing out of a friendship with me.”

he keeps his eyes on yours. “i’ll be the judge of that.”

when you roll your eyes at him, he can tell you’re considering it. “when does it start?”

“ten.”

“dress code?”

“go for a cocktail dress.”

twisting your lips, you push your tongue against the inside of your cheek, and even you are a little weak for those big, brown eyes of his. and you said you’d give him a chance, after all. “fine.”

“great!” he nearly jumps in excitement. “text me when you’re ready and i’ll come and pick you up.”

“yeah, yeah. now go. i got shit to do.”

and once you’ve watched him cheerfully skip out of your sight, the tiniest smile rises to your face, after which you chuckle to yourself.

mere days later, on thursday, mingyu finds himself at your doorstep. it’s not like him to feel nervous — so why the hell is he this time?

you open the door hastily. “hey. you can come on in, i’m all ready except for the pair of earrings i can’t seem to find.”

he watches as you search through small drawers in the cupboard by the wall. maybe he should be glad you’ve got your back faced to him, because he’s subconsciously staring at you, checking you out.

the velvet red one-shoulder dress hugs your features just right, and he’s stunned in his place before you notice he still hasn’t closed the door behind him. “mingyu. the door.”

“uh—yeah. sorry.” he stumbles, stepping inside, doing as he’s told before his eyes wander around your room. “don’t you have a roommate?”

“i used to have one, in my first year. got a single room after.”

“must get quiet after a while.”

“i like it that way.”

your words remind you of his roommate, wonwoo. he figures you’re someone who prefers solitude after a day of being around others, which he keeps in mind.

once you’ve found your earrings, you’re putting them in, and you notice him stepping closer to you. he actually looks criminally good in the black suit he’s wearing, his half-long hair sitting just right. the fucker might as well be a real-life prince charming.

you’re glad you went with smokey eyes. your look compliments his.

as you subtly watch him in the mirror, he comes to stand behind you, holding out the modest bouquet of red roses he’s been holding behind his back. “these are for you. i appreciate that you wanted to come with me tonight.”

the gesture makes your eyes soften. “thank you. oh, they smell nice.”

mingyu feels a little giddy inside when you give him a little smile before putting the flowers in a vase with water. it might be the first time he’s seen you give one that is genuine.

the gala is taking place at a fancy hotel close to university. the walk there only takes a few minutes. once you're nearing the entrance to the party, dimly lit chandeliers catching your eye, he gently puts his hand on your back, just underneath your shoulder blades. you raise a brow, looking over at him, and he shrugs. “i’m your fake boyfriend for the night, remember?”

which has you chortling for a second. “that’s not where to put your hands if you wanna make this believable.”

before he can change the position of his hand, you’re already doing it for him, pushing his hand lower with yours, watching the way his face drops when you allow him to go lower than your hips, breath hitching in his throat.

“that’s better. you can hold me and kiss me on the cheek if you have to. not too much, it’s not the right time and place for it anyways.”

“noted.”

once you’ve arrived inside and given your coats away, you notice most people here are strangers to you, anxiety kicking in, internally wishing you’d consumed some alcohol before coming.

and your companion takes notice of this from the way you’re suddenly squeezing his hand, which you’re undoubtedly not doing on purpose.

“you okay?”

“sure, i’m fine.” you faintly smile back at him.

he’s honestly considering saying fuck it, ready to ask you to just get out of here with him and go anywhere else instead — that is until one of your friends comes up to you.

“am i imagining things—”

“we’re fake dating, josh.” you answer him, increasing the distance between you and mingyu as if to emphasize your point. “his idea, not mine.”

joshua appears all kinds of confused. “okay. um… just—why?”

mingyu presses his lips together. what he said about the girl bothering him was all true. could he handle it on his own? probably. is fake dating slightly unnecessary and a little dramatic of a solution? undoubtedly.

but he just wanted you as his plus-one so bad. he saw it as an opportunity he couldn’t miss out on.

what can he say? jeonghan is weirdly persuasive.

“there’s this classmate of mine who won’t get off my back about dating, so i figured she’d quit if i showed up with a girlfriend. girlfriend being her.”

in spite of the explanation, joshua still looks at the two of you with a frown. “right.”

“i’m gonna go get us a drink. be right back.” mingyu says, almost regretting doing so when he realizes he has to take his hand off your back.

you watch him walk off to the bar, suddenly hearing your best friend chuckle softly next to you. “can’t believe i never considered you two before.”

“what are you talking about?”

“you and him. you’d be a nice match.”

“what, me and mingyu? we’d be a disaster.”

“why?”

“we’re too different, josh. and don’t even try to give me that opposites attract crap.”

his soft facial features melt into a smile that gives off the impression he knows something you don’t. “i think you’d be surprised. that’s all.”

whatever the fuck that means.

your fake boyfriend returns not much later with a drink for the two of you. despite your clear disagreement with joshua’s words, you just can’t help but think about what he said, especially when mingyu’s arm remains looped around your waist for quite a while as the three of you discuss the whereabouts of your friends.

the worst thing is that you don’t even mind him touching you. you’ve always been picky when it comes to the people who are allowed to as much as stand close to you, and mingyu was not one of those people until you grabbed his wrist after he took you home from dinner, which was only last week.

and that’s not the only thing you’re becoming increasingly aware of.

mingyu’s popularity is a bigger thing than you thought. either that, or half the people here are from his faculty. which is highly unlikely.

being as observant as you are, you’ve noticed several girls as well as guys pointing your way, making you feel uneasy.

so your hold on him tightens as you stare back at them, as if to silently tell them to fuck off and focus on someone other than your fake boyfriend.

you’re not actually jealous. no, that’d be ridiculous. you can’t be jealous of others wanting something you don’t even have in the first place.

chan and seokmin arrive half an hour later, having pretty much the same reaction to the situation as shua. but they play along.

though not without noticing how comfortable the two of you are together.

after several hours of drinking, dancing and socializing, you feel in need of a break. “hey, i’m just gonna get some fresh air outside, okay?”

mingyu’s lashes flutter as he nods. “would you mind if i came with?”

you gesture that you’re okay with it, so he takes your hand to guide you through the mass of people without losing you, the littlest of touches sparking an indescribable feeling in your stomach.

the air feels much colder now that you’ve been inside the warm hotel for several hours. you sigh, leaning back against the brick wall behind you, the surface feeling slightly uncomfortable on your one uncovered shoulderblade.

mingyu takes fake dating very seriously, as it seems. he’s practically been unable to keep his hands off you, and you’re going to indulge in it for however long it lasts.

as you’re standing outside together, you notice he’s loosened up more around you, not hesitant to get close either. he’s certainly not afraid to put his hand on your thigh, and you make zero effort to push him away.

his lips ghost by the skin of your neck, alcohol clouding his thoughts. “it’s nice to have you here. i wasn’t all that excited about going at first.”

“yeah, yeah. i made your night ten times better.”

he snickers. “you hear that often?”

“every now and then. don’t sound so surprised.”

“it doesn’t surprise me. i was just hoping i was special compared to the others.”

“doesn’t everyone?”

“you’re a little cryptic, anyone ever told you that?”

“maybe.” you respond, chuckling, allowing his lips to touch your bare skin.

mingyu bites his lower lip, not afraid to look you in the eye to match your playful gaze with a similar one. “do you not remember a single thing from the night of soonyoung’s party?”

he almost smacks himself for asking the question, seeing your expression falter a little. “no. neither do you, as you’ve told me.”

“no, i don’t,” he says firmly, mentally trying to slap himself for consuming so much alcohol that it makes him say things he usually wouldn’t, “but i kinda wish i did.”

“why?”

when he remains quiet, still trying to figure out the best way to respond, you gently take a hold of his chin to lift it up, making sure he keeps his eyes on yours. playing with him is fun.

“i...” he tries to utter the words, but god, he might as well be hypnotized.

before he can give his answer, seokmin loudly stumbles out of the building, catching your attention. he’s clearly had a bit too much to drink, his boisterous laughter echoing through the courtyard. seungcheol follows closely behind, a hand on his shoulder.

whatever moment you and mingyu were having is gone in an instant. cheol spots you, keeping his friend somewhat upright in the process.

“i’m gonna go take him home, couldn’t find the other guys. i think soonyoung might be next, though.” he says, doing his best to keep seokmin upright in the process.

so mingyu nods. “okay. i’ll go check.”

they say their goodbyes, after which he proceeds to looks at you again. you let your head rest against the wall again. “you go ahead. i’ll meet you back inside in a few.”

he silently agrees, returning to the people inside. you appreciate the silence, mentally drowning out the sound of people talking and cars driving into the background.

it’s then that some girl you’ve never seen before walks up to you. “hey. you’re mingyu’s new girlfriend, right?”

the crease between your brows becomes apparent. “have we met?”

“no, no. i’m in the same faculty as him. i was just curious. didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

she’s clearly had a bit to drink, though not enough for her speech to be incoherent. you’re not sure what to give her other than an awkward smile that looks anything but genuine.

but either she’s too far gone to catch the hint or she simply doesn’t want to. “was kinda surprised to see him end up with a girl like you.”

and since she’s probably not gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, you decide to engage in it for once. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know, ‘s just... you seem a little distant. just different. he’s never really gone for someone like you. no offense or anything.”

you keep your composure despite a certain emotion brewing hot inside you, whatever the hell it may be. the sheer audacity of some people to stick their nose in business that’s not their own. “gee. hard to fathom i landed a guy like that, huh?”

the sarcasm dripping from your tongue finally seems to get it through to her that her opinion is anything but wanted, so she mumbles something about going back inside, after which you lean back against the wall, closing your eyes for a moment.

worst thing is that she’s probably right.

you and mingyu just don’t work.

and you don’t even have feelings for the guy, so why does it bother you?

the whole thing upsets you enough for you to go back inside, rushing to find him to tell him that you don’t feel like staying.

when you return to him, he’s so used to his role that his hand finds your waist and his lips touch your cheek, but you smoothly back away this time. “i’m gonna go back to my dorm. you guys have fun.”

even over the noisy music and chatter in the background, he notices the change in your tone and behavior, which gives him the hint that something has upset you. “why? is everything okay?”

“i’m fine.”

“i’ll take you back.”

“i’d appreciate it if you didn’t.” you tell him, sounding harsher than intended. again. god, you keep messing up. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose for a moment. “i’m sorry.”

mingyu is still processing your words as you’re leaving him behind.

then when you’re walking towards the exit, a girl accidentally bumps into you, spilling her drink over your dress.

goddamn. you wonder what the fuck you did to the universe for it to give you a night as shitty as this.

she begins to profusely apologize, very obviously sincere, but you just curtly tell her it’s fine, annoyance rising.

mingyu notices the situation from afar, deciding to go after you when he sees you walk to the bathroom instead of the exit.

the bathroom is awfully fancy, but it seems only fair for a hotel like this. clenching your jaw, you grumble while getting some paper towels, hiking the dress just a bit upwards.

god, you’re never agreeing to do that fake dating shit ever again. what a joke.

you huff as you keep trying to get the now barely visible stain out of your dress. you’re rubbing over the fabric on your thigh when someone walks in.

of course it’s him.

“any luck getting it out?” he asks, and you clench your jaw, throwing the wet paper towels into the trashcan beside the sink. your hands hold onto the cold surface, knuckles growing white as you focus on them instead of him.

“why am i here?”

“what do you mean?”

you turn your gaze to him, abandoning your quest of getting the stain out of your dress, annoyed that he’s acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. “why did you invite me here? out of everyone you could’ve gone with, why did you wanna go with me?”

“are you angry at me?”

“answer the question.”

“i just…” he trails off, trying to think of the right words. “i just figured it was a way to become friends.”

you’re actually going to lose your shit if he as much as utters the word ‘friend’ to you one more time. “oh, jesus. cut the bullshit. why do you wanna be friends with me so badly?”

“i don’t know, because… because it occurred to me — y’know, after the party, after what we did — that we have little to no relationship and i wanted to change that.”

“oh, right. you just had to sleep with me before thinking of that.”

“no, i didn’t. i just haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and i—”

what the hell is he even supposed to say? he’s not even sure what exactly it is he wants from you. sure, he wants to be friends — but god, he spends so much time wishing he remembered what it was like to touch you that night, what you looked like underneath your pretty little dress, what you sounded like.

you’re quiet for a second before your whole demeanor changes, agitation shifting to intrigue. “so that’s what this is about.”

“well—what?”

“if you wanted to fuck, you should’ve just said that. instead of dragging me to this shit.”

“i—” he suddenly feels suffocated by the small size of the room and your body getting closer to his, backing him up against the door. “that’s not why i—”

“does it matter?” you ask, and he tries to hide his ragged breathing now that you’ve pressed your front against him, clenching his jaw.

it doesn’t help that you’re watching him like a hawk.

“not to repeat myself all the time, but i—i normally don’t do this with friends. i don’t want you to have the wrong idea of me.” he exclaims, cursing himself for looking down at the way your red dress is accentuating your curves so well.

so you begin to unbutton his shirt, and he breathes heavily because of it. “well, i guess you’re in luck. ‘cause we’re not friends.”

he’s about to tell you that he genuinely wants to be when you finally kiss him. it’s fast and intense and hungry.

whatever he expected, it wasn’t this — but he can’t find it in him to not give in.

his hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer, then proceeding to help you with unbuttoning his shirt, all without breaking the kiss.

mingyu shivers when your cold hands finally touch his bare chest, the faintest hint of your sharp nails nearly making him beg for you to dig them into his skin until he bleeds.

there’s a shift in control when his feet no longer feel locked in with the tiled floor, his hands trailing up your legs, fingers gripping the skin of your thighs. he lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, only to have him pushing you up against the door, pressing his body against yours.

you’re rubbing your front against him, taking notice of the hard bulge in his pants, nearly crying out from his sheer size.

holy shit. no wonder you were sore after you slept with him — he’s fucking huge.

“gyu,” you break the kiss, “can i suck you off?”

the way you breathily call him by his nickname for the first time is nearly enough for him to bust in his pants. “wanna taste you instead. please?”

with your back resting against the surface behind you, you watch him as he sinks to his knees, kissing the inside of your legs, goosebumps erupting on your skin.

“are you sure?”

“yeah. please let me.”

“okay. just make it quick.”

in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say.

because he’s diving in faster than you can comprehend, lace panties pulled down in less than a second, making you gasp in surprise. your fingers grab onto a few strands of his hair, accidentally tugging on them, only to have him moaning in response, which is most likely the best thing you’ve ever heard.

your teeth sink into your lower lip as a way to suppress your moans, only deeps hums and groans escaping you, much to mingyu’s annoyance, because he wants to hear you.

his fingers slide into your dripping wetness, your muscles tightening up from the sudden intrusion. he looks up at you while kissing the inside of your leg, a sight that’s so fucking hot that you have to tell yourself not to get lost in it.

another surge of adrenaline rushes through you when he spreads your legs even wider, causing you to let out a broken moan, much to his satisfaction.

“you can pull on my hair. i like that.” he breathes out with a genuine smile and lust-blown eyes, refusing to wait for your reaction and getting right back to what he was doing.

it doesn’t take him long before he’s got you squirming above him. tugging his hair really does get him going, but you’re nearly at your limit, feeling the familiar feeling building up in your lower belly.

“gyu—fuck, ‘s too much, too much—” you try to push his wrist away and make him look up at you again.

you swear you might lose it when you see he’s actually pouting over the fact that you’re pulling him away from something he clearly enjoys doing.

“but, baby, i wanna make you cum.”

the pet name turns you on even more. “you can. i just want you inside of me, right now.”

he’s rising to his feet, towering over you with his tall frame as you push him back against the door, kissing his jaw, neck and collarbone while undoing the buttons of his white shirt.

mingyu is surprisingly vocal, which you thoroughly enjoy. his lips find yours again, relishing in the remaining taste of you on his tongue.

“god—want me to fuck you?”

pulling your dress over your head, you’re left in your matching set of lingerie that you just so conveniently put on tonight. “are you seriously asking me that right now?”

“fine. bend over the sink, then.”

the difference in his tone and words makes you shiver with excitement. once you do as he says, a new shot of adrenaline courses through your body — because you completely forgot about the mirror that’s now right in front of you.

so you’re able to watch him push his pants down, positioning himself behind you. his big hands are warm on your skin, the silver ring on his finger making you shiver.

his shirt is half unbuttoned, his hair a mess, trousers down to his ankles — but none of that matters now that he’s got you bent over in front of him, fingers trembling in excitement as he takes the condom from his pocket to slip it on.

all he can do is hiss and groan when he feels your heat wrap around him so nicely as he pushes into you. “you’re so tight, jesus—”

you huff. “not my fault you’re so big.”

it makes him laugh and simultaneously turns him on. “you’re all bite, even when i’m trying to fuck you.”

“don’t act like you don’t like it.”

he then finally bottoms out, both of you moaning, and he chuckles. “never said i didn’t.”

god, he’s so fucking attractive. he bites his lower lip as he throws his head back, his strokes slow but hard.

his girth feels so good inside you — and his touches are electric on your skin. his hands go from your ass to your hips, your stomach, everywhere.

and he’s certainly not afraid to get loud. especially when he feels you’re pushing your hips back against his. he’s convinced this is what heaven feels like.

“gyu, a little harder, please.” you plead, slightly beginning to struggle with holding yourself up by the edge of the sink.

“how hard d’you want it?”

“as hard as you want. i can take it.”

he gestures for you to turn over, lifting you up and pushing you up against the wall, burying himself inside you again before you can even comprehend it.

his fingers feel almost painful on your thighs with the way he’s digging into your skin. he’s sucking and biting right above your collarbone, leaving some pretty marks that will definitely be visible tomorrow.

you push his jaw upward so you can kiss him, and he sighs into it, tilting his head to get better access.

it’s like he’s trying to match his thrusts with your heartbeat at this point. pressure builds in your stomach when you whine his name. “oh my god—gyu—”

“i love it when you call me that,” he breathes out, so into it that he’s confessing everything on his mind, “you don’t know how much i’ve thought about this — been fantasizing about this for ages.”

you hold onto his shoulder blades, nails digging into them. “then you better make it worth my while.”

“such a brat.” he teases, a moan slipping out right after when you use your legs wrapped around his waist to push him deeper into you.

mingyu’s stamina is admirable — but he’s a simple man. you’re so hot and you just feel so good around him, and he knows he’s getting close to his release already.

you notice his pace becoming slightly uneven, his breaths erratic, a layer of cold sweat forming on his back.

he’s doing his best to hold out for you, to make you hit your peak first, but you actually need to see him come undone first.

“are you gonna cum, gyu?”

you have to refrain from biting your lip when he’s stuttering out a response. “n—no, not yet—”

“i want you to.”

“jesus, don’t say that—”

oh, he’s cute. he’s responding so well to your words, so you indulge in it a little bit more.

“wanna fuck me again later? without a condom? you can cum inside me. i’ll let you do anything you want.” you tease — your words being the complete truth, because if he’d want to fuck you again, you’d sure as shit let him.

his brows scrunch upwards while he lets out another whine. “anything?”

“mhm,” you nod, “anything.”

his fantasies about you, the way you’re looking at him, the things you’re saying, the way you suddenly clench around him — it’s all too much. his release spills into the condom, his muscles flexing from the sudden rush of adrenaline shooting through him.

it’s enough to make your legs tremble, and you reach the climax you’ve been aching for.

he’s still coming down from his high, face buried in the crook of your neck when he hears you chuckle. “so much for being friends, huh?”

he then smiles as well. “are we close enough for you to consider me as your friend now?”

“you’re quite literally inside me.”

“knowing you, that doesn’t really have to change anything.”

“oh, is that so?” you retort at his cheekiness. “sure. you’ve made it to friend level 1. congrats.”

“great. level 2 is next, then.”

“god, forget i said anything.”

“no going back now. you’re stuck with me.”

something’s very clearly changed between you since that night. mingyu has, in a certain way, changed your relationship.

because you’ve successfully upgraded from strangers to fuck buddies.

and truth be told, he wants to rip his fucking hair out.

the sex is great. there’s something thrilling and exciting about your secret relationship, both of you skipping lectures and sneaking away after classes with no one around you having a single clue.

and yet he’s come to the conclusion that this isn’t what he wants.

he wants you. all of you, completely. but every time he tries to get even remotely close to you, you somehow manage to dodge it and change the topic.

it bothers him. but he’s scared to just put all his feelings on a platter — because he doesn’t want to lose whatever he has with you.

something he’s also discovered is how utterly weak he is for even the slightest bit of your attention, the smallest of touches.

so when he’s typing away at his laptop in the study hall, noticing the screen of his phone light up as a message from you comes in, he can’t bring himself to ignore it.

20:23: you look cute when you’re focused

the message makes him frown, and he looks around, trying to figure out where you are, since you’ve clearly got your eyes on him.

so he texts back.

20:24: i always look cute ;)

tapping his fingers on the table, he waits for your response. the three buttons that indicate you’re typing suddenly go away, and he pouts, only to then be greeted by your voice close to his ear. “bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

“fuckin’—” it almost makes him jump and screech out of shock. “christ, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

you chuckle at his high-pitched reaction. “bad conscience?”

“no. you’re just scary.”

“thank you.” you grin with pride, moving to sit on the table, right beside his laptop. “you busy?”

“just going over some older lecture notes to prep for an exam.”

“wanna come over to my dorm?”

“fourth time this week. what’s gotten into you? well, aside from me, obviously.”

“hilarious. really.” you remark, watching him laugh at his own joke, unable to help the smile rising to your cheeks. “what can i say? it’s a great stress reliever.”

“i know. give me a sec and i’ll pack my things.”

as he closes up his laptop and textbooks, you look around the other tables — which are mostly empty, except for the one by the window, which is where you notice a girl shooting you a bit of a weird look once you make eye contact with her.

“mingyu.”

“hm?”

“the chick by the window with the shitty earrings. you know her?”

he subtly looks into the direction of said window, recognizing the girl from his advanced statistics class. “yeah, i have a class with her. can’t really remember her name though. why?”

“she likes you.”

“oh.” he just shrugs, continuing to zip up his bag, standing up from his seat. “i didn’t notice.”

“sure.” you chuckle sarcastically.

that makes him raise a brow. he feigns shock, causing you to look at him.

“what?”

“you’re jealous.”

“excuse me?” you monotonously ask, brows furrowing in disdain.

“it’s actually kinda hot.”

“oh, please. i have nothing to be jealous of.”

“and yet you are.”

“either you shut your ass up or i’ll find someone else to relieve my stress, kim.”

he laughs and you roll your eyes. then he slings his bag over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets as he follows you out of the study hall.

as soon as you’ve entered your dorm room, he’s got you pressed against the wall, nipping at your skin. he makes you feel sickeningly good, putting your former boyfriends to shame — you’re certainly not complaining.

once he’s done with you and you’re completely worn out, you lay with your head on his chest, his fingers softly stroking your naked back.

you seem more on edge than usual today. less playful. tired, even. his voice sounds hesitant when he speaks up. “is everything okay? you look stressed.”

“i’m fine.”

he figures you either don’t want to open up or you simply don’t feel comfortable doing so with him, so he chooses not to pry, opting to let you know he’s there for you. “okay. well, if you need anything, someone to talk to, you can always come to me.”

you frown a little. refusing to act impulsively, you swallow your words, not saying a thing.

mingyu takes your silence as his cue to leave you be. a feeling of unease creeps into his body, and the room suddenly feels smaller than before.

so he gently moves away from you, sitting up to put his clothes back on. “i should probably go. wonwoo will be pissed off if i don’t have the kitchen cleaned up once he gets back.”

he’s buttoning his jeans when you speak up behind him, admitting your reasons for feeling more stressed than usual. “i’ve got two exams next week. they’re extremely important, i have to pass them, i just… i can’t focus for some reason.”

when he turns around, you’re not facing him. he leans against the tabletop, looking at you. “anything in particular that’s bothering you?”

“i don’t know. it’s just…” you shrug your shoulders a little, unsure of how to explain it, “i guess i haven’t been feeling great in my own skin lately, even though i don’t actually have a reason for it.”

“maybe i can help you study. could work as a nice motivator.”

“gyu—” you chuckle a little to reject him politely, but he sees it coming at this point, persisting.

“why don’t we just try it? if you don’t feel like doing it again, then, fine. we can always just restrict our activities to solely physical stuff again.”

“do you even have the time to help me?”

he’s smiling, able to tell you’re thinking about it. “are you kidding? i can do anything.”

“always so humble.”

“yeah, that’s why you like me so much.” he laughs. “that’s why i’m your friend.”

“whatever makes you sleep at night.”

mingyu wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to help you, nor when he mentioned he wanted you two to be closer.

he’s putting in effort to make you like him, that’s for sure. buying you coffees and snacks, offering to study with you whenever you mention difficult topics you have to cram for exams — he’s certainly establishing his presence in your daily life.

and you hate how easily you get used to it.

for whatever reason, you haven’t had sex since that day either. you’re pretty sure he wants to prove that he likes you for you and not just your body.

which is sweet. but you also have needs, and they’re worse now, knowing he can fulfill them extremely well, as he’s proved many times at this point.

so you text him to ask if he wants to come over later.

as he’s seated at a picnic table on the campus square, he notices your text, grabbing his phone to respond to you.

“your girlfriend texting you again?”

mingyu looks up at joshua, who’s sitting across from him with a pen in hand. he shakes his head. “not my girlfriend.”

“she might as well be.”

“she doesn’t like me enough to be.”

shua wouldn’t call himself nosy, but he’s determined to get a better idea of what exactly is going on between you. “what’s up with you and her?”

“it’s complicated.” his friend responds, eyes narrowing from the rays of sunlight. “i’m not even sure, honestly.”

joshua has this ability to pry people’s hearts open and let their feelings pour out without breaking a sweat — how easily he does it should be studied.

“are you friends with benefits or something? situationship?”

ironically, those words are the complete opposite of what you and him are. mingyu huffs out of frustration, voicing his thoughts. “she doesn’t like it when i call her my friend, she appears to have an exceedingly low daily quota of emotions, i’m busting my ass off to get my own assignments done and spend as much time with her as i can and i’m pretty sure she doesn’t even like me. at all. worst part being that i like her, shua. i like her.”

“have you told her you like her?”

“sort of. in a friendly way. she just glared at me.”

joshua finds mingyu’s inner torment a little amusing, but he feels for him. “maybe she’ll warm up to you. give it a while, she’s a tough nut to crack.”

“is she open with you?”

“sort of. i don’t think there’s a single soul out there she’s completely open with.” he sucks on the inside of his cheek for a second. “she has mentioned in the past that she’s actually very sensitive but just doesn’t, like, really express it. and you gotta keep in mind that people show love and affection differently. give it time.”

mingyu takes a breath as he thinks over the words.

give it time.

which he does. he notices you’re gradually getting closer to him over the course of time, still not showing too much — but it feels different. you choose to sit with him more often than not when you meet up with the other guys, you’re spending a lot of time with him, and you’re showing initiative to make time for him. every time he lands in your bed, it feels more intimate than ever.

you’re starting to make him feel like he matters to you. his crush on you is getting out of hand to the point he needs to stop himself from gazing at you every time you look him in the eye.

just like right now. you’re smiling at him over something he can’t remember — it’s a genuine smile, he cherishes those every time you flash him one as they’re rare — and you just look so pretty.

a text message from one of the guys on the football team pulls him out of it. which sparks an idea in him.

“hey, i have a football game coming up this saturday. do you wanna come? you could finally see me in action.” he asks. when he notices the puzzled look on your face, he tilts his head. “oh, come on. friendship works both ways, you know that, right? team effort and all that jazz.”

his wording makes you chuckle. “fine. i’ll be there.”

“you won’t regret it. our team is great.”

“really? then you better prove it. can’t be cheering for the losing team.”

with a raised brow, he points at you. “wanna bet?”

“what do you have in mind?”

he considers his options for a moment. “if my team wins, i get to choose what we do in bed next time. as long as you’re into it too, obviously. if the opposite team wins, you get to choose.”

now that’s an offer you’re certainly not gonna reject. taking on the challenge, you nod. “alright. deal.”

he shakes your hand ever so professionally, gathering his books since he needs to get to class. “oh, and, just so you know — my team’s won regional championships for the past two years in a row. i’m just saying.”

you tilt your head. he winks at you before walking away from the table, and you smile to yourself.

damn that asshole for making you like him this much.

saturday arrives, and you find yourself walking by the green football fields, surprised by the amount of people who showed up.

mingyu mentioned he was heading here earlier so you just told him you’d be there, sitting with the crowd.

it seems like it’s going to be a cold-weather match today. it’s already dark out, and the rain just started coming down from the sky. you’re glad the bleachers come with shade canopies so at least you won’t be soaked by the time the game is over.

your eyes are fixed on mingyu’s back as he stands by the sidelines with the rest of his team, enthusiastically discussing what’s most likely gonna be their strategy for the game.

then he turns around, still very engaged in the conversation, the wet strands of his hair framing his facial features. gosh, he’s incredibly handsome.

before running out onto the field, he looks back at the bleachers, scanning the masses before his eyes lock with yours.

he ever so dramatically makes a little heart with his fingers, teasingly motioning it towards you, and you put your middle finger up, making him laugh.

mingyu’s a real sweetheart, you have to admit. he’s growing on you.

watching the game is more fun than you anticipated. despite not being into football all that much, it’s great to watch the boys work together as well as they do.

you’re certainly not complaining when mingyu throws his vest on the bench halfway through the match, leaving him in a black compression shirt, emphasizing his strong figure.

shit. maybe you should watch him play more often.

it’s his team that seems to be on the winning side tonight — until the opposing team scores ten minutes before the end. both teams have the same score now, which is bad. ending with a draw would suck.

you’re now completely sucked into the game like the rest of the audience, desperate for mingyu’s team to score another goal.

the universe must be on their side today, because they do. three minutes left on the clock and none other than jeon wonwoo himself is able to kick the ball into the net, escaping the hands of the keeper.

it’s all yells of happiness on the field.

the referee blows his whistle to call the end of the game. everyone at your side of the bleachers stands up from their seats, yourself included, to cheer and clap for the boys, happy that they won the game.

you watch them congratulate eachother, some of their friends walking onto the field to do the same.

following the masses, you also leave your seat in the bleachers, walking down the stairs.

mingyu notices you coming his way and runs over to you, surprising you by lifting you up, giving you arguably the best hug you’ve ever had in your whole damn life. he holds onto you so tightly, his big arms and tall frame caging you in — in the best way possible.

when he gently puts you back down, his one hand briefly finds your cheek, which catches you off guard, but you don’t shy away from it.

he’s so tempted to just say fuck it and kiss you right now. you look so pretty, and your eyes — your eyes. he could stare into them forever and love every second of it.

but there’s too much at stake to get impulsive. “thanks for coming.”

“you’re welcome.” you blankly respond, making him smile a little.

“how did i do? good enough for your standards?”

you shrug at him, taking a brief look at his teammates celebrating in the distance behind him. “i was mostly focused on wonwoo, actually, but you were doing a good job too.”

he rolls his eyes before making a sarcastic comment. “you’re hilarious.”

“something i’m very aware of.”

he fake smiles at you, and you reciprocate the gesture, patting him on the shoulder.

“wanna go catch a drink with me?”

“don’t you wanna celebrate with the rest of the team?”

“not tonight.” he shakes his head. “i just gotta go get my bag. come with me?”

he intertwines his fingers with yours and you hardly notice it. which is bizarre if you consider how you had no relationship with him to begin with several months ago. “okay, yeah.”

you head to the men’s locker room with him, which is dark and empty. all the other guys are still out on the field, as you noticed when you were walking over here.

“the lights haven’t been working since yesterday, so watch your step.” mingyu tells you. the rays of moonlight coming through the high windows are enough to at least light up the room enough for you to see where you’re going.

you suddenly get an idea. “do you think the guys are gonna be out there for long?”

“they usually do. ten minutes, give or take.” he answers absentmindedly while taking his black duffel bag out of the locker with his name on it.

once he turns around, you push him back against the locker, taking him by the surprise, your finger pulling at the elastic waistband of his pants and boxers.

“i give credit where it’s due, you know.”

oh. oh. he only then understands what you’re getting at.

you always manage to make him a little nervous somehow — he lives for it. “in public? here? we could go back to your—oh, shit—”

you make him stutter the moment your hand moves underneath his clothes to take a hold of his dick. “but you’re already hard, gyu.”

christ. you’ve got some nerve, putting up that soft and sweet voice as if you’re not fucking responsible for getting him hard in the first place.

he doesn’t protest when you sink to your knees in front of him, pulling his boxers down his thick thighs, his cock springing free.

you grin a little to yourself before taking him in your mouth. he’s so hot like this, all hard and panting and begging.

“h—holy shit, that feels good.” he gasps, the warm sensation of your mouth making him go dizzy.

his hand moves to the back of your head. you take him as much as you can, using your hands for the part you can’t take. he slowly becomes a mess, his head resting against the locker.

you look up at him when he’s shamelessly moaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around him, his hands subconsciously pushing your head just a little bit forward, making you take just that little bit more of his cock.

arousal begins to pool between your legs, and you suddenly curse yourself for choosing to wear jeans instead of a skirt tonight.

“fuck, fuck, baby—”

you release him with a pop, a mix of spit and his arousal coating your lips. “wanna taste everything. can’t make a mess here.”

it’s such a shame he’s still wearing his clothes. his stomach caves in so nicely whenever you’re sucking him off — like he can’t catch his breath. it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.

his legs are trembling, and he’s embarrasingly close to his release already. “you don’t—ah—have to do this here if you don’t want to—”

“‘m not leaving ‘til you cum down my throat, gyu. you can do that, though, right?”

he nods, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, his voice all soft and submissive. he can’t help it. “yeah, yeah, i’ll do whatever you want, baby.”

“good boy.” you tell him, entirely unaware of the effect it has on him.

the moment you hollow your cheeks, it’s over for him. the salty taste of his release sits in your mouth before you swallow it, and his chest heaves while he pulls himself together.

both your eyes widen when you suddenly hear the voices outside getting closer, and mingyu knows it’s time to get the fuck out of here. he quickly pulls his pants back up, his bag in his one hand and your hand in the other as he drags you with him to take the back exit before anyone can notice either of you.

you both take a breather outside as you lean against the wall of the building before you burst into laughter together. he feels on top of fucking cloud nine, if he’s being truthful.

“you’re insane.” he laughs, looking to the side to find you laughing and blushing at the same time. “you’re blushing? after doing that? wow. who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

“you’re getting special treatment, you know. i don’t suck off my other friends.” you tease, shrugging your shoulders.

maybe he should consider pursuing a theatre career with the way he dramatically puts his hand over his heart. “does this mean i made it to friend level 2?”

“you did. now you’ve been downgraded back to level 1, though. what’re you gonna do about it?”

he plays along with you. “well, shit. can’t have that. we can go get a burger with fries at that place near campus. my treat?”

“sounds good.” the words have left your mouth and that big smile is right on his face again. you playfully push his shoulder, cheeks hurting from the smile on yours.

he’s getting closer to you than you anticipated, and that’s not a good thing, but for now, you tell yourself it’ll be fine. how much closer could he possibly get?

another month passes by when, for the first time in a while, mingyu doesn’t drop by your dorm. he doesn’t text, doesn’t call — and you find yourself worried about him.

it’s been nothing but complete radio silence from his end, which isn’t a good sign.

you’ve already left him several voicemails when chan lets you know he’s been having a terrible fever for the past two days. it leaves you with the urge to go and check up on him, so once you’ve had all your classes for the day, you find yourself knocking on his door.

it takes a moment for him to answer it, wonwoo seemingly not present in the dorm.

when mingyu opens the door, surprise is painted across his face, the heavy bags under his eyes making him seem awfully tired. shit, you hope you didn’t wake him. he’s wearing a plain white shirt with thin black pyjama pants, his hair an utter mess.

the surprise on his face is gone once you open your mouth. “you look like shit.”

he snorts at your words. “would you say that to me if i were on my deathbed, too?”

“absolutely.”

he smiles at your attitude, finding it strangely refreshing. “wanna come in? i promise i’ll stay at a distance so you won’t get it.”

you didn’t think he was going to invite you in, but you accept the offer nonetheless. “i was wondering why you didn’t call. then chan told me you were sick.”

he shuts the door behind you. “yeah, i’ve been sleeping, mostly. watched some netflix too but it quickly gives headaches. i’m sorry for not letting you know — didn’t think you were worried.”

you pause for a moment. “well. you thought wrong. friends worry, don’t they?”

the words make him smile. he didn’t think you cared all that much about him for some reason — this changes that. “fair. what’s in the bowl?”

he’s referring to the black bowl covered in foil you have clutched between your arms. you shrug. “soup. i don’t know if you already had some, but it worked wonders for me when i was sick a while back, so… yeah. i figured you could use it.”

his face lights up when he realizes you went out your way to make this for him. with gratitude, he accepts the bowl. “thank you, i appreciate it. looks really good. you can sit by my desk if you want to, by the way.”

as he’s walking across the room, you notice the mishap in his steps, like he’s about to lose his balance. “are you okay?”

“yeah, ‘s just—i’m a little dizzy.”

your hands find his shoulders — a touch that feels heavy compared to the usual skin-to-skin contact you share with him — to put him down on his bed. “don’t force it. if you’re about to faint, you might as well be lying down.”

his lids hang low, eyes nearly closed when you pull the covers over his body. you touch his cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand to get an indication of his temperature.

as soon as you’re about to tell him he probably has a light fever, it seems he’s already half asleep. you pull the covers up to his chest to ensure he’s comfortable.

you gaze at him for a moment as he snores softly, biting your lip as you curse yourself for giving him a treatment he doesn’t deserve.

maybe mingyu likes to think he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but that’s far from the truth. even you have noticed he’s been looking at you a certain way recently, and that’s saying something.

one look at him and you’re already feeling like a big softie. it’s ridiculous.

you’re scared of what you feel for him, but as long as you can keep your relationship like this, it’ll be fine.

now that he’s asleep, you wander around his room. you know wonwoo must be at football practice, since mingyu is normally there with him at this time of the week.

you usually take him to your dorm, so you’re not in his all that often. your eyes rake across the framed pictures of his friends, family, loved ones, memories he’s made.

they stop, though, when recognizing yourself in one of the pictures. he promised you he’d frame one up as a way of ‘solidifying your friendship’ as he so politely put it.

still, you didn’t think he’d actually do it.

smiling to yourself, you proceed to notice his laptop screen is still on. he must’ve been working on something when you knocked on his door.

out of curiosity, you check the screen, figuring he was working on the essay he’s been postponing for two weeks because he had difficulty getting started.

you take a look at the assignment and decide you’re gonna try to do it for him. luckily, the necessary paragraphs that ought to be studied beforehand and referenced in the essay itself came with the mail, so that makes everything a lot easier.

when mingyu wakes up hours later, he finds himself alone in his room. you’re gone, though he notices the glass of water on his nightstand has been refilled, his laptop is flipped open, and there’s a sticky note attached to it.

slowly, he rubs his eyes and moves toward the desk to grab the laptop before sitting back against the pillows.

you must’ve written something on the note, he figures.

‘hopefully the essay is up to the standards of your class. i did it in a separate document so you can just get rid of the whole thing if it’s not what you want it to be. let me know if you need anything else. x’

he frowns, turning the device on to see what you worked on — and the screen lights up, only for him to realize you wrote the essay due for tomorrow. and with a few of his own additions here and there, it’s good enough to submit, which is impressive for someone who’s not actually taking the class.

and right now, all he can do is smile at his screen like an idiot.

you’re at the university skating rink when you hear someone calling your name from the bleachers.

looking up with a frown, you suddenly notice a tall man sprinting your way, so you skate towards him. “mingyu, what the hell are you doing here?”

“i got 87/100 for the essay. for the one class i hate. you’re a genius.” he exclaims, absolutely beaming at you.

you suddenly remember doing the essay for him, snorting at his reaction. “so i’ve heard. good to see you’re doing better.”

“is there anything i can do in return?”

“don’t worry. i like writing essays. besides, you already helped me out plenty of times. it was the least i could do.”

the words coming out of your mouth hardly match your facial expression, but he finds he’s gotten used to it now. he understands you better than ever before. “you know how you said i’d get nothing out of a friendship with you?” he recalls, biting his lip for a moment, “you were wrong.”

a mere chuckle escapes you. “right. you get top-notch essays and bowls of chicken soup.”

your comment was sarcastic, but he remains serious. “you’re wonderful, you know that?”

it’s not often people use a word like that to describe you. it feels weird hearing it, but your attitude remains the same. “am i?”

“yeah, you are,” he nods, pushing out more compliments, “and i’m glad to have you in my life.”

the playful expression on your face falters — like a glitch occurring in your system. mingyu is starting to break through your hard exterior remarkably easily, and that’s beginning to scare you a little.

he leaves without saying another word, but the look on his face is enough to tell that he’s feeling the tension too. whatever relationship you have is becoming more intimate by day, most definitely passing the friendship it was supposed to be, and to you, that is very alarming.

and you suddenly refuse to let it go any further.

whenever he texts you, you either tell him you don’t have the time to come over or nothing at all. you avoid him like the plague, ensure not to go to social gatherings if he’s going be there and stay well away from all the places you and him studied together. it hurts, because you do miss him, yet you manage to keep it up.

but you can only do so much. unfortunately, mingyu is smarter than you hoped.

after two weeks of you avoiding him, he decides he’s had enough.

when you’re almost about to leave the dorm for your lecture, you hear someone knocking on your door. you open it to find him standing there, and he walks right by you, not bothering to ask whether he can come in.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

“i gotta leave for my lecture, i don’t have time for this.”

“so make the time.” he says sternly, jaw clenched. “answer the question.”

“i haven’t been avoiding you.”

“sure. so it’s a coincidence you suddenly stopped talking to me?”

you huff in frustration and close the door, leaning with your back against it. “no, it isn’t.”

he raises his hands in defeat. “so, why?”

“it’s been fun. i don’t know. but you’ve proved what you wanted to prove, so… good for you. we can both move on now.” you shrug, hardly sounding convinced of your own words.

“you’re lying.” he breathes out, scoffing to himself. he’s baffled that you think he’d consider it believable at all. “four months ago, i would’ve bought that. but not now.”

“believe what you wanna believe. i don’t really care.” you give him the cold shoulder, attempting to open the door so you can leave, but he immediately shuts it to stop you from doing so.

“don’t bullshit me. you care. i don’t know why the fuck you’re so hellbent on not admitting that, but it’s the truth.”

he’s beginning to get on your nerves. “what fucking answers are you even here for? since you claim to know everything that’s going on inside my head already.”

it’s then that he starts to show how genuinely upset he is at you pushing him away. “what makes me so different from the other guys? joshua, seokmin, chan—all of them. why is it so easy for you to be close with them but not with me?”

“because you keep trying to get closer to me! from day one, you’ve been saying you wanna be friends with me like the rest of them, but your actions don’t line up with that.”

“so what? i like you and i’m pretty damn sure you like me too.” his voice is softer, face closer to yours, those brown eyes of his working their way straight to your heart. “what are you so afraid of?”

either you’re imagining things or he’s leaning in to kiss you. his lips are so close before you feel them on yours, a sensation you missed like nothing else.

your fingers touch the back of his neck. it’s hard not to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours, the smell of his cologne making it even harder.

kissing mingyu is the closest you’ll ever get to heaven, but right now, all it’s making you feel is guilt and shame.

so you pull yourself away from him, breaking the kiss, hands feeling heavy on his chest. “close the door on your way out.” you whisper, leaving him alone in your dorm.

he stands perplexed in his place for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, processing what just happened.

“fuck.”

it’s been a week, and he hasn’t called nor texted you since that conversation. you assume that he’s decided to move on.

which is understandable. if you were him, you’d be done with it too.

it feels strange to be going about your day without him dropping by or talking to you. like he left a void you’re unable to fill. and it hurts — you miss him.

you’re having lunch with seokmin and minghao in the cafeteria when he’s suddenly standing in front of you by the table. “i just got a call from the gallery manager — we’ve got it to ourselves this friday evening!”

minghao smiles widely, the sweet sound of his excited laughter intriguing the rest of you. he turns his head to explain. “me and mingyu have been trying to rent the gallery to put our work on display. apparently, it was just confirmed we managed to pull it off.”

hao is a passionate painter — mingyu a photographer. their love for art is one of the things that binds them together, and they’ve mentioned wanting to have their own exhibit for a few months now. despite the things that have happened, you’re happy for them.

“that’s great! we can come, right?” seokmin asks, already grabbing his phone to put it in his agenda.

“yeah, you guys better.” minghao answers, his gaze shifting to you. “you have to come too. you’re free, right?”

he’s aware of things between you and mingyu being tense right now — though he doesn’t know why — but he still thinks it’d be good for you and him to see each other.

your eyes meet mingyu’s for the first time since your last conversation a week ago, and hao follows your actions, looking at him as well.

mingyu subtly looks away, hoping his friend didn't catch him staring at you. before he can utter the words he wants to say, you tilt your head, already speaking up. “sure. i'll be there.”

he unintentionally gives you a puzzled look, and you pop a piece of gum in your mouth, looking at your wrist as if there’s a watch there.

there isn’t. “won’t you look at the time. i’ll see you guys later.”

they briefly say bye to you, very much used to the way you dismiss yourself, and mingyu watches the interaction as if it’s the first time witnessing it — as if he hasn’t known you to be like this for several months.

he watches you walk out of the cafeteria, confronted by his two friends staring at him. “what?”

“you’re deep in it.” minghao remarks. “when are you guys finally gonna admit that you wanna be together?”

“it’s not that easy.”

seokmin frowns, connecting the dots before gasping. “wait. you and her are a thing? since when? why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

the other two just deadpan a stare at him.

on friday night, you attend the art exhibit. you know he’s been working hard on the collection, and you certainly figured you were gonna be confronted with mingyu as well, but this is one gathering you couldn’t afford to miss. so you choose to try and forget the drama for one night.

you’re wearing a little black dress with lacy tights and sleek ankle boots, an outfit you feel nice in.

the gallery is buzzing with friends of the artists as well as people who frequent the place whenever a new exhibit is up. perhaps some pieces will be sold tonight.

as you’re passing some of mingyu’s framed photos, you hear his familiar voice behind you.

“i was surprised when you agreed to come.”

when you turn your head, he’s standing there with his hands in the pockets of his fitted black pants, the deep cut of his white blouse exposing just a bit more of his upper chest than usual, a silver chain sitting all pretty on his neck and collarbones.

personally, you find it’s relatively rare to find men with good taste in fashion, but he’s definitely got it. he looks good. really good.

biting your lip, you give him nothing but a cool response. “came to see if you were any good.”

“and? what’s your judgement?”

“haven’t made up my mind yet.” your tone turns into a more teasing one, seeing as he appears considerably less hostile than you. “does my judgement really matter that much, though?”

he nods so quickly, almost as if he were hypnotized by you. “more than you know.”

him showing you affection actually makes your heart shatter. he’s so genuine in it too — and you just don’t know what to do with all that love he so easily gives you.

people pass you left and right, completely unaware of the heavy feeling currently bubbling inside your chest. you’re crumbling under his gaze and he fucking feels it.

and this situation is precisely the one thing you were so afraid of. you know he knows how to poke into your heart, he knows when you’re lying to him, he knows when you’re upset or hurt — and the idea that there’s someone out there who can see all of that just by looking at you utterly terrifies you.

in moments like these, your expression doesn’t gradually change. it falls hard and quick, sometimes very visibly, just like right now. the blank stare is gone, your lips parting, eyes blinking erratically — it’s like you received a slap to the face.

“your photography is beautiful, mingyu. you’re talented, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.” your voice breaks in the middle of your sentence and you leave him behind, heading into the ladies’ room, hoping he won’t follow you.

you exhale when he doesn’t.

knowing it’s way too early to leave, you pull yourself together, and once you get out of the bathroom, you make it your mission to avoid him for the rest of the night. if that means talking to god knows how many new people, so be it.

minghao’s paintings are beautiful. you’re in awe of his talent as you walk past his artworks, admiring each of them.

as the evening nears its end, the artist himself comes up to you with that gentle smile he often wears. “so, what do you think? do i have potential?”

“are you kidding? you’ve got more than just potential. these are gorgeous. you should be proud of them.”

he thanks you, his hands sitting in the pockets of his trousers. “what’d you do to mingyu?”

you cross your arms over your chest. “why’re you assuming i did something?”

“because he’s been looking like a kicked puppy for the past few weeks, and i heard you and him suddenly stopped hanging out, so...”

taking a deep breath, you shake your head to yourself. “honestly, i’m not even sure what happened between us. it came out of nowhere.”

minghao keeps his eyes on you even when you look away. “he came out of nowhere and you started liking him.”

the comment makes your eyes widen, but you don’t bother hiding the truth from him. he might be the most trustworthy guy you know. “yeah. so i pushed him away.”

he’s aware of your fear of letting people in beyond a certain extent. “what did he do?”

you could cry, honestly. your face is blank — your voice trembles. “he said he was happy to have me in his life. god, i’m so fucking insecure.”

hao softly rubs over your shoulder blade for a second, a gesture you appreciate. he shrugs. “you’re not obligated to do something you don’t wanna do. but talking about it is better than leaving it unsaid. gyu’s a good guy. he’ll understand it, but only if you give him the chance to.”

with that sentiment, he leaves you be, and you rub your arms, staring at the painting that’s currently in front of you, only to realize it’s about two lovers.

there’s a thin line between laughing and crying. you feel like you’re somewhere in the middle right now.

“christ, i need a fucking drink.” you mutter to yourself, running a hand through your hair.

“mind if i join you?”

of course. why are you even surprised?

without looking him in the eye, you respond to his question with one of your own. “sure you want my company?”

“beats going drinking alone.” mingyu shrugs next to you.

you let out a sarcastic chuckle at that. “whatever you say.”

luckily for you, the nearest bar is around the block. the walk there is quiet. you’re not sure what to say to him, and you feel him subtly looking your way.

he holds the door open for you to go in first. the place is not all that crowded yet, only a few tables occupied, probably because it’s still relatively early in the evening.

since no one else is seated by the bar top, you choose to head to one of the high stools there, ordering two shots of vodka before even sitting down.

the bartender puts two shot glasses in front of you and pours the liquid in both until they’re completely filled. mingyu looks at you as he picks up the small glass, and you just lightly tilt your head as a toast.

his facial expression is as bitter as the alcohol burning in his throat. he hates the way you look at him — like you don’t give a fuck about him.

you look down at your glass. you still haven’t exchanged a single word since leaving the gallery. what the hell are you even supposed to say? you didn’t want to be here with him in the first place.

liar. the little voice in your head creeps in.

the silence feels as painful as trailing your nails down a chalkboard. surprisingly, it’s you who ends up speaking first.

“if you’re trying to make the situation more awkward, you’re succeeding.”

“i’m just trying to find the words. don’t know where to start.”

your voice is hostile and sharp as a blade. “then don’t.”

of course you’re aware you’re being mean. but it’s to serve a purpose. every time you show this side of you, people always leave. better sooner than later, right?

mingyu, instead of feeling insulted by your attitude, looks at you as if he’s deciphering a puzzle. “i will. because i care.”

that makes you remain quiet. you just scoff instead, not knowing what to say next. he shifts in his seat to be able to look at him better — you do the exact opposite, turning your face away from him.

“can i ask you something?”

you don’t actually respond, save for the blank stare you give him. which he takes as a yes.

“you not showing much… is it a front you put up or something you just do?”

an interesting question — one you actually have to think about. “the latter. having a resting bitch face doesn’t really help my case, i guess. but i also enjoy keeping people in the dark a bit. can’t have everyone showing everything.”

“why not?”

blinking at him for a moment, you gently smile at him. it’s not a genuine one. “do you wanna know why you feel at a disadvantage right now?”

“because your alcohol tolerance is better than mine?”

“because you can’t tell what i’m thinking.”

he then puts his chin up to look at you better. you tilt your head a little, as if you were following his gaze, and he feels like he’s on the right track here.

“maybe i kinda like that disadvantage.” he suggests, but you shake your head knowingly.

“no, you don’t.”

“how would you know?”

you suck at the inside of your cheek for a moment, taking a breath. “my mom once said to me that it bothered her she couldn’t tell what i was thinking.” you pout your lips as if you’re thinking about it. “i told her i liked that. being an open book is my worst nightmare.”

“why?”

“putting your thoughts and feelings on display make you vulnerable. being vulnerable makes you weak.”

“so you think it’s better to isolate your feelings completely — discuss them with no one? ever?”

“unless it’s necessary, yes. besides, feelings aren’t black and white. do you know how difficult it is to convey them through words, let alone getting the person at the other end of the line to actually understand them?”

mingyu looks—no, gazes at you. “how will you know if you don’t try?”

“how do you know i haven’t? you think you’re the first person who’s tried to get close to me like this?” you ask, tilting your head. “speaking of which, i’ve been having a real hard time trying to figure out what it is you want from me. i’m not buying the whole ‘i-just-wanna-be-friends’ façade. never did. i thought it was the sex, but i initiated it more often than you did.”

“it wasn’t for the sex.” he shrugs his shoulders. “i like you.”

“so you’ve mentioned. since when?”

“since… always.”

“we never even talked before soonyoung’s party.”

“no, but i liked you.”

“bullshit.” you fire back at him, scoffing sarcastically. “i’m hardly likeable — nothing i’m insecure about. just a plain fact.”

“and yet i like you a lot. must be shocking.” he jests, the vaguest hint of a rising smirk on his face. “do you like me?”

“i can’t stand you,” you reach out to push his chin upwards so he looks up at you, only realizing how physically comfortable you’ve become with him after doing so, “but at least you’ve got a pretty face to make up for it.”

it’s unbelievable, mingyu thinks to himself. the way you keep teasing him, keep being a little mean to him, and he just eats it all up.

every moment he spends with you has him wondering what on earth it is about you that draws him in so much.

but, fuck, he just can’t get enough.

another shot is poured into your glasses, which you take between your thumb and index finger, nodding at him so he’ll take his.

the liquid burns in his throat, making him feel hot, and you get awfully turned on when you notice the way he wipes off the drops that accidentally ran down his chin.

“i think i’ve got you all figured out.”

his bold statement and matching attitude has you raising your shoulders. “oh yeah? go on. try me, i’m curious.”

the words tumble from his lips as if they’re part of a monologue he’s been rehearsing for weeks. “you feel so much, express so little. i bet it must be hard to keep up with your own mind sometimes. i think you often feel judged and misunderstood because of your attitude, but you don’t mind that much, since you prefer a smaller circle anyways. you simply don’t like wearing your heart on your sleeve, but it’d be a big mistake to think you don’t have one — and honestly, i’d do anything to be close to it.”

it’s not often you’re speechless.

he describes you almost perfectly, and your body language subconsciously changes, confident and playful demeanor gone — the cold and distant side of your personality coming out again.

“good job,” you tell him softly, moving to grab a few bucks from your wallet to pay for the drinks, “i guess i should say congratulations. you know what makes me tick. that means we’re done here, right?”

he finally spots the shift in your behavior. “wait—”

“have a good night, gyu.”

you curse yourself for accidentally using the nickname as you walk out of the bar, putting your coat on, feeling raindrops on your hair and skin once you get outside.

as you’re trying to make yourself remember where the nearest metro stop is, you hear him utter your name behind you. “what did i do? was it something i said?”

letting impulsivity get to you for once, you scoff, muttering a response. “it was everything you said.”

“why?” he asks, the tension running thicker. “why won’t you just let me in, for once? just this time?”

you hate how desperate he sounds — you hate how much it’s tugging at your heartstrings.

“why do you even want me to?”

“‘cause i like you.”

“no, you don’t. you just like whatever chase this is, just a little fun to keep things interesting for you.”

“has it ever crossed your mind that maybe i like you for you?”

“i’ve given you no reason to like me.”

“what, you think that no one out there will like you unless you act differently?”

his words feel like a growing tear in your heart. your self-esteem is so ridiculously low that it makes you believe no one would love you if you were to be unapologetically yourself — and hearing someone say it out loud hurts.

mingyu watches as the emotion flashes through your eyes, one of the few glimpses of what you feel underneath that cold exterior.

“it’s not true,” he says before you attempt to answer, “because you… being around you makes me happy. when i’m not with you, i think of when i’ll see you next. you matter to me.”

you’re not sure what’s worse — the fact that you reciprocate his feelings or the words that are coming out of your mouth.

“you’d do best to try and get rid of that feeling.”

but he knows there’s more lingering behind your words. “tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

“what i feel means nothing.” you state, voice laced with hurt, though not from his words. “let it go.”

“why don’t you wanna try?”

“because it’d be a disaster. for both of us.”

“c’mon,” he pleads, gently touching your fingers, “please don’t push me away.”

“god—i have my reasons, mingyu.”

“then explain them to me!”

“i can’t give you what you want!” you cry out, needing him to understand you. “someone like you just doesn’t work with someone like me. it might sound stupid, but it’s the truth. i wouldn’t tell you i love you, i’m fucking—bitter and cynical, if not misanthropic, i like my own peace and quiet, i fucking hate talking about what i feel — and you are the complete opposite. i’d make you miserable. you’d grow to hate me.”

“no, i wouldn’t.”

“you would. you... i do like you. i don’t know what the hell you did, like—it’s bizarre how much i’ve grown to like you. but at the end of the day, we’d never work, because i cannot give you the love that you deserve. i know you. you want someone spontaneous, easygoing, sociable — those are all traits that i don’t have. i wish i did, but that’s just how i’m engineered. we wouldn’t work.”

“how do you even know that?”

“i’ve had two boyfriends before this. both broke things off with me ‘cause i didn't show love the way they were used to, and even when they called it quits, i didn’t show a thing. because i don’t do that. no matter how often i say it, no one ever appears to understand what they’re getting themselves into when they get close to me, so i’m telling you now. this? you and me?” you ask, finger pointing between the two of you. “we’d be idiots to try.”

“fine. then consider me an idiot.” he breathes out, just barely registering how close he’s standing to you. “i’m willing to try. please.”

the crease between your brows is the sign of your inner conflict. “i’m sick of getting hurt. sick of people making me feel like my feelings aren’t valid solely because i don’t like expressing them.”

“i’m not gonna hurt you. we can take things slow.”

“gyu—” you plead, almost like you’re begging him to stop tearing your walls down despite knowing he won’t.

and perhaps the other part of you does want to let him in. it’s so scary, so tempting.

“i don’t wanna lose you.”

he adores you so much — it’s ridiculous. “you won’t lose me. please…” he touches your fingers so gently, getting closer to you as you barely make an effort to push him away, “please let me in.”

his heartbeat rises when you look him in the eye — he wonders how the hell a person so strong can look so afraid. but he’s determined to show that you have no reason to be anymore.

it’s raining even harder now. instead of backing you up against the wall, he takes a few steps away from you as if he’s leaving, only for him to turn around and gesture for you to come with him.

mingyu’s smile shines even in the heavy downpour — a bright light that balances out your dull one.

he extends his hand, and you finally get over the edge of your fear, finally able to take control of your own body and slide your hand in his.

you and kim mingyu shouldn’t work — perhaps that’s exactly the reason why you do.

thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[fizzyellouw]

Main poster ↓

Old poster ↓

History

The story takes place in 1989 at Westerburg High School. Pomni was a girl who was bullied by her classmates, many of whom were her childhood friends. A few days later, she joined the most popular clique at Wasterburg, which consisted of three rich students: the leader, Jax; the silly prince, Kinger; and the cheerleader ; Ragatha. After 3 weeks of being a Heath, Pomni gets fed up with them, especially Jax.

She meets a candy gator, Gummigoo, Pomni learns about his fight with 2 other popular kids.

When Pomni goes to Ram's party with the Heaths, she has a great time, but Gangle arrives at the party and this worries Pomni, she tells Gangle to leave before someone hurts her and announces in the middle of the party that she's leaving the group and going back to her normal life, Jax fights with her and Pomni ends up vomiting, he swears to destroy Pomni's life.

Drunk, Pomni shows up at her best friend Gangle's house. The next day she says goodbye to Gangle and meets up with Gummigoo to discuss the plan against Jax. They break into Jax's house and Gummigoo pours him a liquid that he claims is a hangover cure, but is actually milk and detergent, leaving Jax hospitalized for months.

After the whole school heard that Jax was in hospital, many prayed that Jax would get well and others that Jax would die. Kinger soon took over Jax's role as leader of the group and started wearing a purple cape.

Ram and Kurt tell everyone that Pomni had sex with them. Gummigoo tells Pomni to lure them into the forest to trick them into having sex so he can shoot them with non-fatal German bullets. Gummigoo shoots Ram and Pomni misses Kurt, who runs away but Gummigoo chases after him. Pomni noticed that the bullets were real; Gummigoo chases Kurt back to Pomni, who panics and shoots Ram. Gummigoo puts homosexual materials next to the boys, and a suicide note saying that they were both gay and didn't want to live in such a cruel world anymore, thus ending homophobia in the school.

Gangle, Pomni's best friend, pins a suicide note to her chest and throws herself from a high place. She survives because her body is made of tape and is light, she hits her face on the floor and ends up cracking her face and is mocked for trying to "act popular".

One night, Ragatha calls into a popular radio show, Pomni Kinger was listening, Ragatha says her name is actually Agatha, she talks about her depression and how her life is forced, the next day, Kinger tells the whole school about Agatha, she tries to commit suicide by overdosing on pills in the girls' bathroom, but is saved in time by Pomni.

Gummigoo tells Kinger to get signatures from all the students for a band note, which was actually a suicide note. Most of the students signed it.

Pomni tells Gummigoo that he doesn't want to hurt and kill anyone anymore. Gummigoo goes to Pomni's house with a revolver to kill her, but Pomni uses a rope to make it look like she committed suicide. Gummigoo thinks there's no one left to stop him so he goes to the school and plants a bomb to blow everything up.

Pomni fights Gummigoo in the boiler room under the gymnasium while a pep rally is going on at the school, where he is setting up timed explosives. Pomni shoots Gummigoo as a result of him refusing to stop the bomb. While Gummigoo has fainted, Pomni deactivates the bomb and leaves with it going to an open space in the school, she puts the bomb in her chest to kill herself but Gummigoo arrives in time and takes the bomb out of her hands, he tells Pomni to stay away and says that, from the first time he saw her, he fell in love with Pomni, but he knew she didn't feel the same way but he still didn't care. The bomb finally explodes and confetti scatters and Pomni gets dirty with dust and confetti, she picks up Gummigoo's hat and puts it on her head with a smile of relief.

Pomni confronts Kinger, confesses and asks Gangle out on a date (one night in the movie) so they start dating.

1 month later, she goes to Jax who is out of hospital and tells him that she didn't put detergent in his drink but Gummigoo, and that she didn't know there was detergent in it. Jax didn't know whether to trust Pomni or Gummigoo, but he gave Pomni a chance even though he still didn't trust her very much. The Heaths, including Kinger, assume that their names are Jason, Agatha and Kilye.

Kylie sees that she was wrong, Agatha seeks treatment for her depression, and Jason stops smoking.

They stop bullying and the Heaths group ceases to exist, now Gangle, Pomni, Kilye, Jason and Agatha are friends.

Songs

Beautiful

Candy Store

Big Fun

Dead Girl Walking

Dead Girl Walking (reprise)

Shine a Light

Shine a Light (reprise)

Never Shut Up Again

Kindergarten Girlfriend

Seventeen

Meant To Be Yours

Yo, Girl

Lifeboat

Ships :

Bunnydoll / Ragatha x Jax

Scaredylovers / Gangle x Pomni

Funnygummy / Gummigoo x Pomni (Non-mutual feeling)

[fairyk133]

Ruth Beautè

Minor facts:

Has a southern dolly accent, so American and sweet voice.

She was illegally emancipated, her mom and her went their separate ways when she came back from catholic school

She was homeless for two days until she met an old Italian man and took her in, making him a father figure onto her, but he died due to “loan sharks”, which was on her birthday, she owned the house all to herself ,and redecorated the whole house.

Her biggest secret was she was the daughter of the famous French Somalian actress Vivian Beau.

She is neurodivergent, and showed signs of Autism while growing up.

Loves 60s fashion, adores it, she is one of the most fashionable girls at school, even if her uniform does scream.. “50s church gal.”

She knows French, Spanish and the Somali language.

While Lola is called the Queen, and Pinky is called the Princess, Ruth is labeled the Duchess of Bullworth.

She plays electric guitar, Cello, Violin, Piano

The large rosary she wear is ACTUALLY disguised as a dagger, if you take off the silver cap of the bottom of the cross, and swing it, a sharp blade will come out. It was gifted from her past lover who died.

She calls people by their last names, which gives her a look of maturity and authority

When she’s harming a person (who deserves it) she gets violently annoyed when they start crying, she believes in equal punishment.

She works at a fancy restaurant in Old Bullworth Vale and gets tips either from lonely, weird divorced men or because she plays the violin well. The people who go to the restaurant are from rich families.

Works at Aquaberry Outlet too sometimes.(Lowkey was thinking about leaving because some young girls said she looked like “Vivian Beau”)

Knows Sign language thanks to her past lover. (Yes he was deaf.)

School Titles:

“Class Representative”, — Non Cliques/ People who respect or scared of her

“Villainess Nun”—Lola, Earnest

“Miss Beauty”— Jason (My Oc), Juri, Chad

“Babe Ruth”—Vance

“Doe eyes”— Vance, Gord

“Sociopathic Bitch”— Mandy, (Pre game) Gary, Earnest, Davis White

Mini Mrs.Peabody—(Pre game) Gary

Clique relationships:

Bullies: Ruth does like not bullying, at all. Considering her past lover died by suicide, because of bullying, she is a shadow dictator of the school. But, nonetheless she does use the bullies in her rule of authority. She pays them about 80 dollars to 50 in cash, to spill her the details on other students, specifically males, and to beat up perverts or anyone trying to roof girls drinks in parties. Most bullies are scared of her, but she does allow them to beat up Earnest, when she sees them attack him she turns a blind eye to it, considered later one she found out his…rather perverse picture of Mandy. (She may hate Mandy’s guts, but she’s a girls girl at heart.) Later on after her public trial with her mom, she ends up dating Tom. They actually first met bumping into one another, they had a goofy conversation, him mess in up on her last name, she liked him, but Joetta said she liked him so she killed her feelings for him immediately, only for it to fail and they end up being together.

Nerds: They see her as their, savior, at least some of them. She once saw Algie crying in a corner when she was coming from Chemistry class, and he complained to her about the jocks and their vile behavior towards him. This gave Ruth the idea for the Halloween party. She dressed up as Billy Loomis from Ghostface and seduced Casey Harris into the woods, leaving him there for awhile. Casey ended up seeing Algie’s fake dead body lying there, flies around him. It looked bloody, his stomach was cut open, which looked like the work of an axe. (Ruth gave Algie some sick looking makeup and a clay belly, and filled it with pig intestines to make it look like it was his actual organs, she even gave him some white contacts to give him that dead look). Ruth came out of the woods dressed up as the actual Ghost face, holding an axe. Before taking her mask off and yelling at him like a cinematic sociopath (she’s a good actor to be honest), he fell into a ditch, a deep one. Algie got up and revealed with Ruth to Casey he wasn’t dead, they saw his body in the ditch and left him there. (Casey also took spiked punch, so later that day, he couldn’t prove that Ruth’s a sadistic bitch.) She doesn’t like Earnest, not only he is weak, scaly, and a hypocrite, but mostly because of what he did to Mandy. Some of the nerds did want to turn on to her because she joined the soccer team and she looked more…”jockey” but she had to remind them of who she stood by, even if Earnest tried to make her seem like an villain of their midst. She uses the Nerds coding abilities to get into the teachers digital files and keeps an eye on her enemies grades and social media, along with their…dark pasts. Really dark. Some nerds even have crushes on her, so easy on her part.

Jocks: Due to their actions, Ruth sees them as, brainless animals. The weak ants to her. But, Mandy Wiles was an huge problem to her. Mandy was jealous of Ruth to most extent. Ruth has beauty, hell, her last name literally means beautiful, she’s smart in academics, getting complements from the Head, and the teachers. Mandy did try to befriend Ruth, but once she had showed her true colors by purposely tripping Bucky at lunch, Ruth immediately told her to stay the hell away from her. Mandy also made fun of Ruth for being a “virgin purist girl”(Internalized misogyny), so Ruth felt cheeky and mischievous , she exposed the fact Mandy had been with Jason….which wasn’t good to explain to Jason in the nurses office. And because Mr. Burton is weird and didn’t give a damn about Ruth’s feelings of being uncomfortable, Ruth’s soccer shorts were tight on her, showing her hips were more… wider than most girls and Ruth is a mostly modest person— so obviously this didn’t turn out so well. Wiles gave Ruth the nickname, “Ruth Bootay”. And because Ruth had a “purity” complex this gave her a deep state of discomfort and depression in how her body looks, even the male jocks talk about her body, which made her feel like a “hoe”, but that feeling went away fast when she realized she can ruin Mandy’s life by tormenting her back, you know— the norm? This was by telling girls what Mandy has said about them, isolating people she found close to her, ruining her face till she broke out by sneaking in her dorm, messing up face cream etc, getting help from her best friend Joetta, to write nasty articles on her, calling her whore, and snitching on her vaguely, claiming she was mentally ill, (Guys this is Bullworth, okay?) but sooner or later, they got their issues worked out when the Headmaster assigned them together to get their act together. Bo Jackson is the only chill guy she can stand, a few jocks stopped talking about her body when they knew who serious she was in soccer, along side Jason. (Soccer ain’t even her passion.)

Preps: Ruth gets respect from them because she handles her situations well in mock trial, she even won against Derby in many trials, which eventually leads Derby feeling considered of his title of being a Harrington, “they never lose”, this leads him to buy a win from the holder of that club, Mr. Hatwick, this makes Ruth have an internal hatred for him. He reminds her of “Donna” a girl from her past in catholic school, she’s also the reason why Ruth was ashamed to be rich in the first place. Due to superiority complex, Ruth and Derby weren’t the best at being civil with one another. Each room they were in gave tension, you’d need a chainsaw to cut that tension. Chad and Gord along with Parker had admitted into finding her attractive, but the guys do find her “scary” especially since she had made witnesses cry and have emotional reactions. Pinky and her had minor tension because of all the good things people said about her, but they are decent friends since Ruth also shops at Aquaberry from time to time, Parker did ended up dating her and that’s when Pinky and her both ended up getting closer as friends. Ruth has been invited to Harrington house over some club discussions, mostly to see Parker when they were together, and she wouldn’t mind playing the piano for them. Ruth in my roleplay saved Derby from Raymond Chester, a politician’s son, who was trying to get Derby’s Harrington name ruined, including his family, Ruth exposed them in a special event she was invited to, which made her and Derby be…somewhat decent.

Townies: She barely knew them, but she began to know a few of them, when she saw Jason hanging out with them, that’s when she knew about Jason a little more…the townies only become a serious topic when Ruth got fully and properly adopted by a sheriff, she asked them for clues and ask them what happened on things, since her present self is in her “riverdale” era and helps her foster moms cases. ;)

Greasers: Ruth at first they were just some Outsider/Grease wannabes, but couldn’t be hypocritical since she dresses like she’s from the 50-60s, she was sadly forced by the head to tutor most of them. She believes the most attractive greaser of them all isn’t really Johnny Vincent, but more so Ricky. But she doesn’t have a crush on him, just thinks that way. She and Vance get along fine, he’s helps her with guy troubles, and when I mean “guy” troubles, more so on Jason because of the fights they have on his…living situation. Vance and her poke fun at Ricky and Johnny sometimes, they act like annoying siblings to them sometimes. She ignores Lola and Johnny’s problems because their relationship isn’t worth any fixing or respect they don’t really intimidated her. Her rep is somewhat debatable with them, she doesn’t snitch on them if she sees one of them egging Harrington house. And since she has the preps moral respect, the greasers between trusting her, but soon they realize this girl really doesn’t give a damn and wouldn’t snitch on them, even when she got adopted by Miss Rodriguez.

Outfit models:

Based off of/ Mentality:

Beth Harmon - Queens Gambit

Cherry Valance- The Outsiders

Blair Waldorf- Gossip Girl

[smiley-positivity-potato]

before i transitioned i remember people would say sometimes i behaved like a boy. i could tell they meant to say it in a way that they thought would discourage my boyish behavior; while encouraging my "improvement" with my journey into womanhood- but it had the opposite effect.

i remember the days i didn't get to choose the clothes i wanted to wear as a girl because of a "man's glance"; yet i couldn't tell them about my own want to cover myself so NO ONE could glance at me. no one but MYSELF. for the only boy's glance i really understood was my own.

i remember the jealousy and envy i would feel for the boys in my class after the janitor would bring them back during Math. They had just helped as volunteers to carry some boxes to the dumpster. and i had raised my hand; but i wasn't allowed to help. because even though the janitor enjoyed me as a model student, i was still just a "girl". and even with us all being the same size, we weren't labelled the same. even in elementary.

i remember trying to hang out with the boys in my highschool after realizing most of the girls didn't like me in elementary. i stood out and didn't want to be in a clique back then, so i decided to try something different. i didn't want to do makeup, dances or play much with dolls as a child. i just wasn't interested. and even in my teens, i still didn't enjoy it all very much. i didn't like most boys and girls back then. i just was going through so much. and being autistic made it harder to understand how to fit in with everyone when i didn't feel like them. so i didn't truly have friends of all genders until middle school and high school.

but even as i hung out with the boys, i still was seen as a "girl". i was small, with a high voice and a lot of energy. i had an undercut, baggy clothes and a lazy way of dressing but the days i would wear a tight shirt everyone would become different. and i didn't know until it was over. i was petite and very short. my tiny stature made people think i was just a delicate girl but luckily i had a loud and aggressive personality. but i later learned, boys AND girls started to like me because i seemed like an "aggressive girl".

i realized in my adulthood, when i look back, that i still stood out, no matter what I did. and i realize the boys i hung out with held back conversations most boys usually had. because i was still different; even though i liked girls, and didn't dress like them, unless forced. i didn't dress like a girl unless i had to for my parents and for safety. and even though i was experimenting with my gender at the time, people just thought of me as a "girl" no matter what. and i couldn't hide it.

i realize the girls accepted me once i started looking attractive and stylish to them- due to my mother's attempts at making me look like a "girl" and my own individuality. it was rare i actually found true friends. except for two people in my life from school, no one lasted. and it was confusing to try to learn how to be a "girl" when I was not. i was a non-binary transmasc man. i am a trans man.

and all my life, my family and people around me viewed me as a "girl" and tried to take the "boy" outta me. but they failed. and they always will. but back then, their glances would make me so anxious that i would eventually just stare down at my feet in public. the forced feminization that i had to endure, was suffocating. and i wondered to myself would i ever be happy. but finally, FINALLY, one day i was able to say i am a man and i started living my life. and i can see that them forcing their version of womanhood on me just guided me to my true path. they didn't discourage me from being a man.

they just helped me realize, i was MY biggest hero and that i needed to encourage MYSELF TO BE STRONG. for i made it through years and years of discouragement, transphobia and misogyny alone. and if i can prove them WRONG, i as a man, can be happy with that alone.

[would-holden-caulfield-like-nge]

I like how you kept the specific details on them. Like how Briece still has a huge forehead, and Josephine still has the teeth. Josephine is my favorite to be honest, I just like the attitude and expression you gave her.

And here’s the rest of the preps!

I don't think y'all understand how much effort and thought I put into these designs so far, because the only part of them I didn't do much for are the names 💀 everything else I tried my best to make them unique whether it was body type or hair style- hope it shows🫶

Which clique would y'all like to see next?

[muppetears-stuff]

Guyssssss,,,,,I made anotherrrr,,,, bully oc,,,

I went a little crazy cause she's SO pretty omg.

HER NAMES MARTHA WOODS<333

I don't know what clique to put her in, so she is a non-clique student until further notice,,, oh no, I made another non-clique/half greaser oc SHIT-

She's incredibly sweet but has a bit of a temper,,, she's normally a sweetiepie tho<3

Best friends with Star and Evan because I say so, she loves their styles,,,

See now. How many aura points do I lose because I gave Hal a chubby girlfriend??

THEYRE LITERALLY SO CUTE I HAD TO HE DESERVES A CHUBBY GAL IN HIS LIFE😭💖🤲

Heheheh<3

[got-a-new-recipe-for-pound-cake]

About Bailey

Template by @jimothy-hopkins

Art by Rubenscons

Birthday: November 23rd

Grade (during main story): 11th

Hobbies: Running, Listening to Music, Going to the Movies

Sexual Orientation: Aromantic Aseaxul

Favorites:

Color: Red

Food: Funyuns

Movie: The Truman Show

Song: Bouncing Off The Walls by Sugarcult

Band: Sum 41

Show: King of the Hill

Class: English

Carnival Activity: Go-Karts

Background: Grew up in Cincinnati Ohio raised by her dad and stepmom. She got diagnosed with ADHD at age 7. They would visit their extended family every summer and their family would come and visit them for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her parents sent her to Bullworth because her stepmother thought it would help her develop life skills. 

More About Bailey:  Bailey is very loyal to those cares about, and loves spending time with them. She never gets mad at people having talents she doesn’t, unless they’re stuck up about it. Her main goal in life is to enjoy it, and she doesn’t have a set plan for her future. She is pretty chill most of the time. She can appreciate a good story but isn’t good at making them. She has considered being a film director, or set designer. She does take her needed medication for her ADHD, but she sometimes forgets, and needs to be reminded. She will sometimes run around the football field when it’s not being used by the team but most of the time she just runs around Town, and Campus. Bailey did not dress up for Halloween because she didn’t really think about doing it. She loves going to the carnival with the Jocks, or her other friends. She gets in trouble most for skipping class. The one she skips the most is math, because she does not like Mr. Hattrick. 

Outfits:

Uniform

Winter

Athletic

Pajamas

Family Relationships:

Dad: She is very close to her dad and they love watching movies together. 

Stepmom: Bailey loves her stepmom very much and thinks of her as real mother. 

Mother: She left Bailey when she was 4 months old, Bailey refused to talk to her, and she died when Bailey was 13.

Uncle: She always gets super excited when he comes to visit, and they always have a lot to talk about.

Kirby (cousin): They are very close and Bailey was the first person Kirby told about his sexuality. She acts like a sort of older sister to him, and he can get annoyed with her about it. She will tease him sometimes for being shorter than her, and ruffle his hair. She will back him up and be there for him if he needs it. She totally supports the idea of him and Trent getting together. 

Clique Relationships:

Non-Clique:

She enjoys hanging around most of them and thinks they're cool

Favorite Non-Clique student: Christy; She loves how fun she is to talk to. 

Least favorite Non-Clique student: Gary; She does not trust the guy.

Jocks: 

She loves hanging out with them for the most part and would be one but she likes the individualism of being a Non-Clique student.

Favorite Jock (besides Kirby): Mandy; She knows Mandy can be mean but she usually is pretty cool to Bailey.

Least Favorite Jock: Ted; This is the second reason Bailey is not a part of the jock clique, she does not think highly of their leader Ted. She thinks he’s pretty weak compared to the rest of the team, and thinks Mandy should break up with him.

Greasers: 

Bailey thinks the Greasers are pretty chill most of the time, and respects them. 

Favorite Greaser: Norton; She finds him amusing.

Least Favorite Greaser: Lola; Bailey is very much against cheating and thinks Johnny deserves better. 

Preps:

She thinks the Preps can be very stuck up,and thinks that rich people should donate money to help people in need. She especially hates when they talk about their first world problems. 

Favorite Prep: Tad; Bailey feels bad about his problems with his dad. 

Least Favorite Prep: Chad; Chester is always chasing her when she runs and she thinks that people should not own dogs if they can’t train them. She lectures him on this whenever Chad yells at her for hurting Chester when he bites Bailey. 

Bullies:

She thinks they’re fun to be around, and will sometimes hang out with them when skipping class. 

Favorite Bully: Davis; She always loves running with him, and she talks to him about his problems. 

Least Favorite Bully: Troy; She doesn’t dislike him, she just can sometimes get annoyed by his voice. 

Nerds:

She finds them pretty creepy, and annoying. 

Favorite Nerd: Cornelius; She thinks he’s the least weird of them and enjoyed his performance in the school play.

Least Favorite Nerd: Earnest or Beatrice; Earnest because she finds him creepy and didn't like his campaign speech. Beatrice because she thinks she is manipulative and annoying. 

Townies:

She doesn’t really have any thoughts on the Townies. 

Favorite Townie: Zoe; She thinks she is really cool, and was there when she got expelled, and felt bad for her. 

Least Favorite Townie: Jerry; She finds him annoying. 

Feel free to ask more questions about her or her relationships with other characters or OCs :)

[msfisherot]

I COMPLETELY forgot to probably post my Bully OC in my main (or I did, but never had the chance to actually fully explain her whatsoever) so I am putting myself out there.

This is Mary Daimon, a typical, ordinary non-clique student in Bullworth who is just trying to survive... maybe not that ordinary.

Her personality is actually pretty unique compared to the rest, as she is cold, stoic, and oftentimes really confusing. This is because BARELY ANYONE actually even knows her at all. This is no coincidence either, as she has expressed privately to certain people (like Pete or Jimmy) that she purposely does this to be safe and stealthy. Mary essentially becomes a ghost (socially) in Bullworth, which is why people don't know anything about her, if ever they even REMEMBER she exists at all.

Mary is an AVID #1 Gary Smith hater. If anyone hates Gary to the core, it would be Mary, and it is very much mutual. In fact, these two have a RIVALRY together, which is understandable considering Mary secretly counters Gary all the time (and vice versa). If asked why, she says it's because she just really wanted Gary away from even getting to his goal at all.

Aside from that, no one has ever really gotten so close to her aside from Pete and Jimmy. Her dynamic with Jimmy is kind of like Diana Burnwood and Agent 47. She is essentially another 'mastermind' of her own right, which is hilarious since there were multiple implications that Mary knows a bit more than what anyone expects her to be. Her intellect is pretty much equal to Gary, which says a bit about her.

There's a LOT of ofher stuff I can talk about her but that's pretty much the basics. I don't post a lot about Bully.. 😭🙏

[enter-the-rickyverse]

Could you do Alex Wise Ricky as a non clique student in Canis Canem Edit please?

Ngl I had never heard of this game til you sent this request in and had to look it up and hope I was referencing the right photos (I’m not a gamer by any stretch lol) and I’m still not entirely sure if I got this right but here ya go

[raelle-writing]

DFF Theory: It was Fluke's laptop that was used to post the KengNon video

So this theory is that it was Fluke's laptop that was used to post the video of Keng and Non, though Fluke himself likely wasn't the one who posted it. The theory rests on the assumption that while Jin recorded the video, he wasn't the one who posted it in the end. I talk about that more in detail in this post, but the short of it is this:

There's a discrepancy between what is shown on Jin's laptop and what is shown on the screen of the person who posted the video, which is highlighted with these two screenshots:

Along with what Fluke says in episode 4 when he points the finger at Tee for releasing the video when Jin isn't even around. Top corroborates that (though he is, admittedly, crazy/possessed/drugged at the time).

So with that established, the question is: why would Fluke even know who released the video if he wasn't involved? If he wasn't a part of the video being released, then he would naturally assume it was Jin who released it, considering he was right there when Jin filmed the video.

When we're shown the posting, here's what we see. I grabbed two screenshots of them clicking into the video itself, because it feels like they only showed it because the details are important.

So we see Canon and Epson software, then Adobe Suite. And in the second one we see an x-ray. The Canon and Epson as well as Adobe suite COULD point to it being Jin, since we know he's into photography. But it could also point to the person who was helping with the editing and effects of the movie, and who says they're working on the effects? Fluke.

Jin also isn't shown to do much photography so far in the past, except for handling Por's camera. Granted, I won't discount that it could be Jin's laptop given those softwares and the Adobe suite and his later interest in photography. But I think it's equally likely to be Fluke's, given what we know of the two of them so far.

That brings us to the x-ray. This one puzzled me, because it's a hip x-ray. We know Jin has a history of shoulder dislocations so why would he have a hip x-ray? And who would have an x-ray saved on his laptop? Maybe a future medical student?

Fluke isn't shown to talk much about medical school in the past (at least that I found) but he stresses about his portfolio, which implies that he already has his field selected and knows it'll be difficult to get into.

Jin and Fluke are the closest of the friend group, since they're repeatedly shown hanging out one-on-one together. They're always side by side, in almost every shot we see of them. The friend group has some mini-cliques within it, and it's clear that Jin and Fluke are one of them.

Jin also helps with the movie editing, just like Fluke.

I find it pretty easy to believe that Jin and Fluke would share a file storage location, so Fluke would have access to the video just like Jin. Whether just because they're close friends or because of the movie, I'm not sure.

Fluke has always been a bystander. He repeatedly says he doesn't know anything and isn't involved in anything.

I find it hard to believe he'd do the video posting himself, considering he doesn't seem to want any part of the bullying. But yet, he knows about it in the present. He also shushes Jin when Jin tries to say something about the video to him, which to me reads guilt more than it reads "leave me out of it."

I think it's likely that Fluke told the others that Jin recorded that video and what they'd seen, and that his laptop was then used to post the video, because whoever posted it knew Fluke would have access to the video Jin recorded. It was likely Top or Tee, since we see them catch Non and Keng together earlier that episode. And Top texted Tee right after Non gave him the money to ask for a favor, which was clearly to follow Non and found out where he'd gotten the money.

If it was Fluke's laptop that was used, it explains Fluke's panic at what Jin was about to say in the past. Jin started with "I didn't" and would likely continue to say he didn't post the video, which Fluke knew would implicate him if Jin carried that thought through, so he cut the conversation short.

It's also why Fluke is so paranoid of being implicated in the present, but also why he knows that it wasn't Jin who posted the video, and instead points the finger at Tee. Because if Fluke wasn't involved in the video posting, I doubt Tee would tell him about it. That would be messy, considering how tightly-lipped Tee has been about everything else that happened in the past.

Oh and before I end, in episode 8 Por's laptop is shown to also be a Mac that uses dark mode, so I compared screenshots of his Mac to what is shown in the video of whoever posted, and it doesn't look the same. Not to mention, in the present, Por seems to carry the least amount of guilt and panic at the thought of people finding out what happened to Non, so I doubt he was involved in that particular part of Non's undoing.

So in conclusion: I think it's highly likely that it was Fluke's laptop that was used to post the video of Keng and Non, which is why he knows enough in the present to point the finger at Tee.

All of these details feel very intentional and important, and it will likely come out in future episodes. This feels very right to the plot to me, considering what Fluke seems to know in the future, but we'll all see as the remaining episodes unfold!

ETA: I was wrong, it IS established that Fluke is planning to study medicine (episode 5).

[limkira]

Info about my ocs!!! Part 1

Kimberly: she's in the greasers clique, she's drummer in the music band.

Character: She loves herself and loves to manipulate people, she is very self-confident, she is also a sadist and she does not hide it, she loves to solve problems with swearing and violence.

Likes: She loves other people's suffering, she loves mechanics and riding motorcycles, she loves hip-hop, rap and rock, she loves breakdancing, she loves teasing Lefty, she loves making fun of the weak, she loves beating up people, she loves throwing dodgeballs really hard, she loves playing on drums.

Hates: johnny.

Ramona: she's non clique student.

Character: She is very calm and chill only when she smokes drugs or on her medication, when she does not take medication for aggression she begins to destroy everything and beat everyone in her path, she has latent dysphoria, she behaves like a "bitch" and loves to drink and party.

Likes: She loves to tease Max with her behavior and body, she loves to smoke, she loves to drink alcohol, she loves to give wise advice, she loves to predict the future, she loves to talk about dirty things.

Hates: medications.

Blaine: she's in the jocks clique.

Character: She considers herself a commander and the boss, she considers everyone unprofessional, she is strict and sometimes arrogant.

Likes: She loves football and baseball, she loves running and doing sports in general, she loves hip-hop dancing, she loves being a leader, she loves closed clothes.

Hates: her past (her parents beat her), violence against her, being second, failure.

Frederica: she's in the townies clique, she has sister named Cassidy.

Character: She is very cheerful and creative, she is very smiling and friendly, but at the same time she is cheeky.

Likes: She loves to dance, she loves to paint graffiti, she loves Jerry, she loves to make people laugh, she loves to spread funny rumors about her sister, she loves to rap.

Hates: to be insulted, to lose a sister.

Gabriella: she's non clique student, she's in her music band, she's guitarist and singer in her band.

Character: She is depressed and insecure, she gives up very easily, she always feels hopeless, but she really feels good in the circle of the band members, she's color blind.

Likes: She loves to play the electric guitar, she loves to sing, she often likes to be alone, she loves to listen to rock and metal, she loves Lucky De Luca.

Hates: everything except friends.

Cassidy: she's in the preps clique, she has sister named Frederica.

Character: She is very calm and kind, she often worries about her sister, she is obedient and disciplined, She hates violence.

Likes: She loves tea parties, she loves listening to jazz, she loves playing the violin, she loves looking after her sister, she loves her sister's jokes, she loves nature and picnics.

Hates: violence, losing sister.

Roxy: she's non clique student, she's bassist in the music band.

Character: She is cold to everyone and very strict, she is silent and rude, she can beat up those who speak badly about her parents, she has heterochromia.

Likes: She loves playing bass guitar, she loves black humor, she loves minimalism, she loves wearing casual clothes, she loves Satanism, she loves metal, she loves horror movies.

Hates: when people are judged by their social status, harassment, comments about her heterochromia.

Marie: she's non clique student.

Character: She is strange and silent, but when she is yelled at or insulted, she starts yelling in German, and sometimes she has nervous breakdowns.

Likes: She loves to eat, she loves to talk about comics, she loves to watch movies, she loves everything.

Hates: English (she doesn't know English well)

Snezana: she's non clique student, she has sister named Barbara

Character: She is silent and cold towards everyone, she will never give up, she is persistent and stubborn, she never lets herself be offended, she also worries about her sister and protects her from dangers in every possible way.

Likes: She loves fencing, she loves rollerblading and ice skating, she loves studying, she loves hanging out with Ramona.

Hates: when her sister doesn't pay attention to her.

Penny: she's in the nerds clique, she has an older brother named Semyon/Simon.

Character: She is a very smart and creative person, she often points out mistakes, she is self-confident, she is stubborn.

Likes: She loves animals and studying their anatomy and everything about them, she loves reading literature, she loves studying animals, she loves talking about her older brother and how he was a lieutenant in the army, she wants to be as brave as her brother.

Hates: animal abusers, poachers.

It soo long, but there are a few more characters 😅

[sanakiras]

BLOOM FOR ME. [TEASER]

PAIRING — finance major!mingyu x law major!reader

WORD COUNT — 1.4k

SYNOPSIS — even though you and mingyu share the same friends, there’s a clear distance between you. when you make a drunken mistake, he suddenly becomes increasingly aware of your lack of a relationship with him, and he takes on the challenge of changing it — not expecting to fall for the ice princess who turns out to be less cold than he thought.

TAGS — college au, slice of life, angst, strangers to fwb to lovers, fem!reader, minor use of the fake dating trope, mature content, inexpressive!reader

♪ — pearly drops - bloom for me

read the full fic here.

you and kim mingyu just don't work.

to be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who didn’t like him or get along with him. most people on campus either wanna be him or be with him — which makes sense, ‘cause he seems to have it all. he’s smart, talented, and awfully good-looking.

and in hindsight, you have no clue as to how or why you landed in his little clique a few months ago, which is composed of a bunch of guys who appear to have very little in common.

all you remember is how joshua, a pre-med student with a soft voice and a passion for playing guitar, introduced himself to you as you were both assigned to help out with student orientation week at the start of the new academic year, and the rest became history.

you’re not sure how he managed to wiggle his way into your personal life, or why he seems so goddamn keen to be there for that matter. the same goes for his friends — chan, seungcheol, soonyoung, minghao, seokmin and mingyu. you’re closest to joshua and seokmin, though you get along well with most of the group.

soonyoung is pursuing performing arts, and he’s loud — extremely loud. you like his sense of humor though. chan does theatre and has mentioned he wants to have his own dance studio later in life. seokmin also does theatre and is arguably the biggest ray of sunshine you’ve ever met. cheol is a business administration major, a great debater, has quite the fire in him, and he looks great in a suit. minghao is more reserved — a psychology major. very sweet and polite, likes to meditate and is surprisingly good at martial arts as well.

and then there’s mingyu.

he studies finance, though he’s considerably less obnoxious than most of the students who pursue said degree. from what you’ve gathered, he has quite the range of talents, which, in all fairness, is pretty impressive.

the guy might as well be the complete opposite of you. he’s popular, loud, outgoing, smiles a lot, known to have a real heart of gold. an entertainer.

you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. much more on the quiet side, usually only speaking up if you deem it necessary with a sarcastic quip, more often skipping social gatherings than actually attending them.

yet in spite of your closed-off nature, the majority of people closest to you are extroverted, always trying to pull you with them in their adventures, though remaining respectful and understanding when you don’t come with — because that’s just the way you are.

perhaps that’s the sole reason why your relationship with mingyu can easily be described in a single word.

non-existent.

neither of you have anything against each other — it’s just that, out of the group, you seem to have the least of a connection with him. you certainly never do anything together or talk to one another when you’re not with the rest of the guys, and even during the moments you are, saying you’ve had a proper conversation with him would be an overstatement.

for the most part, aside from saying one-worded greetings and goodbyes, you pretty much just disregard the other’s existence.

or, well — that used to be the case.

because there’s this dirty secret the friend group doesn’t know about — and that’s that you and mingyu slept together.

it happened only a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be a simple, fun night dancing and letting loose at soonyoung’s party, which he hosted right after midterms were over. everyone got drunk, including you — way more drunk than usual, it was terrible — and the only thing you remember is waking up in a room you’d never seen before, a bed that definitely didn’t feel like the one you wake up in every morning, your clothes discarded on the floor, and his warm body next to yours.

had you been even the slightest bit sober back then, you absolutely wouldn’t have gotten into bed with him.

it’s not that you don’t find him attractive. on the contrary. he’s sex on a stick, with his strong arms, small waist, sharp jawline and beautiful tan skin — it’s no surprise he’s done several modeling jobs for some extra cash.

but despite all of that, casual hook-ups with people in your circle are not your thing. they’re not his either.

neither of you remember much of that night. you two are rarely ever alone together, so it’s practically been impossible to talk to you about it, and you’ve never been close enough with one another to even text or meet up.

after the incident, you just continued living your life like everything was the same as before. honestly, for the most part, it was.

but mingyu likes to take risks in life. that, and being open about his feelings is just who he is. so he wants to talk to you, privately.

when he finally does manage to catch you alone, which happens to be right after you’ve walked out of your criminal law class, you’re not exactly welcoming to him.

“what are you doing at the other side of campus?” is all you greet him with.

“i’m good, thank you for asking.” he jokes in an attempt to make things more light-hearted, but you don’t pull a single muscle, face remaining the exact same, so he swallows and clutches the strap of his shoulder bag a little tighter. “i, uh... i felt like we should talk about what happened the other night. soonyoung’s party.”

“what’s there to talk about?”

“what we did. together.”

“we fucked. so what?”

oh. that’s a much more blunt response than he expected, even if he is used to those kind of remarks from you.

“well—” he cuts himself off, really cursing himself for not properly thinking of what to say to you before showing up outside of your lecture hall all of a sudden, “don’t you think it’s something we gotta discuss?”

“you want a professional analysis about how much i enjoyed it or something?” you ask with a furrowed brow. “not that i’d be able to give you one, considering it was all just a blur.”

“yeah, i can’t exactly remember much of it either. look, i... i don’t usually hook up with people i’m friends with—”

“except we’re not friends. i don’t think you’ve ever said as much to me as you have in this conversation.”

even though it’s true, it does feel like a slap across the face for a reason he can’t pinpoint. he’s aware you can be blunt sometimes, but this is more than people usually get out of you.

“fine. we’re just acquaintances. but we do share the same friends.” he says after a moment of awkward silence, his tone sounding a little colder than before, subconsciously trying to compensate for your unwelcoming attitude. “doesn’t that matter to you?”

sucking at the inside of your cheek, you sigh. “did your roommate notice me?”

his roommate being jeon wonwoo, the cute computer science major who likes to spend his free time working out and playing video games, always walking around campus with headphones stuck in his ears and a pair of glasses up on his nose. he and mingyu are both on the football team, you’re pretty sure.

“no. he didn’t see a thing. not as far as i know, anyway.”

“good. so that means we can both just pretend it never happened, yeah?” the smile you put on your face is so painfully fake that it makes him clench his jaw.

“yeah.” he mumbles bitterly, and you move away from him, going down the stairs, and mingyu rests his head against the wall, huffing in annoyance and embarrassment.

to be completely honest, he’s not sure why the whole ordeal bothers him so much. what you said was all true, even if you could’ve worded it differently.

many, many questions pop up in his mind. do you have something against him? do you not like him? if that’s the case, why? has he ever said something that caused you to get a bad impression of him? what do his friends have that he doesn’t, aside from considerably shorter legs?

he’s not sure what it is about you he finds so weirdly intriguing, but whatever it is, he’s discovered a fresh determination in him to find out.

read the full fic here. x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[calciumdeficientt]

official declaration of insanity. the community brainworms have eaten what’s left of my festering, rotten mind so there’s only one solution…..

BULLWORTH PAINTBALL HCS

allow me to set the scene: It’s early morning, the sun rises high over the Bullworth Academy campus. But no birds sing, no nerds have their books slapped out of their hands. The halls are silent, pensive, and covered in paint…. Waiting for a lucky winner... A victor that will receive a pass on every single class for the whole semester. Where do each clique find themselves?

PREPS

Holed up and hiding, they wouldn’t dare to step outside of Harrington house for fear of getting low-quality synthetic paint on their clothes. They keep to the higher levels of Harrington house and avoid the bottom floors like the plague. They hole up on the second or third floors, anticipating barrage attacks on the bottom floors. The balconies surrounding the greenhouse are outfitted with high quality paintball guns and are transformed into sniper towers, any unsuspecting passersby should duck and cover, although their aim is mostly to eradicate all of the greasers, they will shoot on sight. And they are well trained.

BULLIES

Ground fighters, unorganised and violent. They move in loose packs and work to disorient and isolate other students. Then they swoop in and kill them off. It seems to work moderately well until people start using the tactic on them. Loss of some smaller members force them to adopt gorilla tactics. Yes you read that right, GOrilla, not GEURilla. Their gorilla is, of course, Russell. They send him in first, brandishing a portrait of a Bullworth founder, a trash can lid or a desk as a shield and lets him clear the area for a barrage. Safe to say their disorganisation isn’t a winning strategy.

NERDS

Oh they’ve been REEEADY for this for a long long time. They’re well equipped. They have all their gear and SOME idea. They keep strapped constantly, have scout groups and keep watch over the observatory, their spud gun now an automated paint cannon, and their artillery expanded with paint grenades designed by Bucky. Earnest is back in his little apocalypse outfit, they’re acting like they’re in 28 days later, or more appropriately based on how stupidly they first acted when the war broke loose, Shaun of The Dead. They’re quick to die if they get separated but as a group they make a mean, if slightly fragile militia.

JOCKS

Pack animals. Moreso than the Bullies. They stay together as one big clump for as long as possible, they’re team players, and washing each others balls in the locker room pays off. They survive as a unit longer than any other cliques and only fall to infighting when the fighting dies down and they get to talking as they sleep in shifts on the gym floor. Talks of which team is going to win the superbowl lead to arguments, and then to all of the Jocks’ muscle out of the game and absolutely covered in paint. The weaker ones survive as long as they can by looting Nerds but eventually succumb to the power of the Preps’ snipers.

GREASERS

Surrounded on all fronts, the greasers already don’t have the best chance of surviving. The best they can do is hold down the fort in the auto shop and try to scope out when it’s safe to venture out. The answer, they find out pretty quickly, is never. Vance is sent out early as a negotiator, and some very nice eye candy for the weaker preps. He’s taken out in a flurry of paintballs almost as soon as he steps out of the auto shop. Johnny and Lola are the next to go when an argument reaches its conclusion in a hail of paint bullets, a grieving peanut takes himself out to join them. They fall victim to a Jock raid and get taken out for good.

NON CLIQUES

Dazed, confused and basically begging for their lives they try and group up with other cliques only to get rejected, or worse, shot. Constantinos is one of the first to go, his constant whining that he should be leader makes Ivan shoot him. There’s no real hierarchy, and no solid base for them. They’re looters, nomads and cannon fodder.

PREFECTS

You can’t stop these boys from having fun! Not only are they playing, they’re Crabblesnitch’s eyes on the inside. Posted around the school as a sort of armed police, designed to win the game and keep the peace if things get dicey. Their bloodlust ultimately loses them the game, they have too much fun too early so when things get serious, they’re off their A-game and get bested by Jimmy and his bag of tricks.

JIMMY AND THOSE BOYS

Gary probably presented the idea to Crabblesnitch, and is still the most unprepared. He hides in his dorm for a good while, until he knows there’s few survivors, then he goes out guns blazing, Rambo style and likely gets taken out. Safe to say he’s not a great shot. Petey is bait, good bait. He’s an agile little guy, so he can dart out of harms way until the end, when he valiantly takes a bullet for Jimmy so he can win and end the chaos. Jimmy, in classic protag style, stops the game at its source by taking out Crabblesnitch.

[fairyk133]

Jason Blackwell

Minor facts:

Has a southern accent, just like Ruth!

Gets his validation from girls who say love him (they really don’t..)

Ruth tutors him sometimes, then Joetta began to do it since they started dating

Made out with at least the entire female population (kinda joking)

The jocks don’t like him because he is the one who get caught being with their girlfriends.

Respects woman actually, just a hopeless romantic.

Dads a drunk, mom died when he was around 10, was a mamas boy.

Likes 70-80s men’s wear.

Plans to be the star a Soccer star

Used to have a crush on Ruth but it stopped because he respected her too much

He's seen as one of the most attractive boys in Bullworth.

Pregame Jason gets jealous when Ruth was dating people

He’s passive aggressive, to the point it’s annoying

He can be mean or vile with the right motivation

Ruth gave him a golden moon necklace, some of the jocks tried to mock him saying he looks “gay”, he doesn’t care, he loves the necklace.

Gets violently angry when he sees his teammates failing.

School Titles:

Pretty boy—Damon, Juri, Kirby

Cowboy—Lola, Mandy, Christy

White Snake— The whole Jocks

Field’s Angel— Burton

Prince Charming—Pinky, Beatrice

Clique Relationships:

Jocks: People confuse him for a jock because he plays soccer and is the talk of the school along with Ruth, being called the,”Feild’s Angels”. He’s actually a non-clique student who just tired of being poor. Mandy Wiles had altercations with him, she actually did end up actually falling for him, but because shes together with Ted it sparked some drama…Ted found out and punched him. And this was before Jason and Ruth became male and female best friends. (You see where I’m going with this? If you read Ruth’s post first you’d see how Ted knew.) He genuinely thought he could be with Mandy and be happy together, but his actual dislike for her actually started when he found out what nickname Mandy had given Ruth, to the point Ruth had to sew up the slit of her skirt and wear cardigans over her body. He began to pick up Ruth’s “Purity complex”. He would wrap his jacket over her bottom and waist, he was always a gentleman towards her. He lashed out on Mandy verbally, defending Ruth’s behalf and left her. The male jocks give him some respect because he runs the show in soccer. (Present time Ruth left the soccer club). He also protects some of the nerds from Juri, along with Dan and a few others which doesn’t make his rep high either. Some of the jocks tried to not consider him a real man, because he’s, “too pretty” (which means he’s too much of the female gaze fantasy.)

Bullies: Either wary of him or just try to fight him, maybe jealous of him.

Nerds: Earnest does try to tell his gang no to mess with him because he’s friends with Ruth, but Ruth and Jason help the nerds out so they get respect. Beatrice does develop a crush on him, and some of the guys do respect him because he’s a genuinely a kind person.

Greasers: They don’t trust him around Lola, and if we are being honest- Jason maybe a little dumb, but isn’t that dumb, if Lola even tries to flirt with him he will run the opposite direction, he doesn’t wanna get his pretty face bruised all over again, his dad and the jocks did that enough. He’s sick of it. But, they give minor respect because he knows his place and does get some advice from Ricky in shop class.

Preps: They didn’t interact with him that much, but I forget to mention Parker was on the same soccer team with Ruth and him. And since they were rumors Ruth and Jason being more than friends, which weren’t true. He kinda got some jealous towards him, especially when he was dating Ruth. When Ruth was geeking out about a novel Jason bought her, Parker got annoyed and was like, “so what? When we get married I’ll buy who a whole library!” He was sick of it. Jason doesn’t like Parker because he suck ASS in soccer, HORRIBLE, it pisses him off to a great altitude. Pinky admitted to liking him but you guessed it, it didn’t work out, plus he hates people who are out of touch with humanity. Only get small amount respect, because Gord and Justin see him as a… “upright citizen”…for a poor boy, since he has a future ahead of him.

Townies: Sine he gets into fights with his drunken father, he usually hanged near the townies for support and and let him sleep at their hideout. They would see him passed out (from underage drinking) and being roughed up, they have seen him have mental break downs and the worse of him. They support his dreams of being a world soccer player.

Outfit Models:

Based off of/ Mentality:

Carl— Shameless

Sodapop— The Outsiders

Ponyboy— The Outsiders

[changetheprophecy81]

Uk, on look back, i think class and social standing have such a profound effect on muggle born and half blood students without impressive sir names who enter the wizarding world for the first time. With Hermione, the reason she never felt any lesser than the purebloods is probably because she's not disadvantaged compared to them in any major way. In the books her parents r both dentists, so she's financially well off, also she takes at least one international trip to France during the holidays(I was pretty young when I read these books and my country is much poorer than Britain, so i'd just assumed tht was what regular British PPL do lol). Wizards like the Weasleys show her how it's possible to live a happy (if poor) life without having those political connections and influence. There's already been a huge war against the guy and his followers discriminating against ppl like her. Also there weren't really ppl to make her feel inferior; Draco and pansy r such annoying idiots, literally no one took them seriously apart from their little clique. (HOWEVER, idk y Rowling never went deep into how a killer snake roaming around the castle trying to kill ppl lyk her would affect a fucking 12 yr old, probably coz she doesn't exactly know what being discriminated against feels lyk; which ofc I m glad for, no one should, but tht doesn't excuse shallow writing)

Things couldn't have been more different with lily tho. We don't exactly know what her financial situation was lyk, but it's also pretty clear that she doesn't exactly come from money. Sure, slughorn took notice of her, but he's surprised tht she could be smart despite being muggleborn even 15 yrs after her death (none of the teachers in Harry's time discriminate this way). Also she went to school with PPL who became actual death eaters: Avery, muliciber, rosier, wilkies, regulus, barty Crouch jr, Lucius (early on) and ofc, Snape, her childhood friend. Not to mention the war was going on when she was in school (progressed as the yrs passed), ppl were scared and u couldn't trust anyone(so sympathizing with the purebloods probably wasn't that much of an unpopular opinion as it was during Harry's time), and it seemed like the death eaters were winning. Her chances of financial security and employment were almost non existent, given that half of the wizarding world was out there trying to murder PPL like her. Seriously, things couldn't hv been worse tbh