#nominally heavy rain

[machinavellian]

hi :)

i just wanted to pop into your ask box to say thank you for writing interstate! (as well as precedence!). interstate is, to this day, my favorite fic, and also, it is the fic that inspired me to start writing fanfiction. i've read it like a million times- i have a pdf on my computer and an epub on my phone so i can highlight my favorite parts. (i swear i'm not crazy, just autistic lol). i could go on and on about how your writing is perfect. the characterization, the plot, the prose itself. i generally hate happy endings in fics but you managed to write one that i love. i'll never stop thinking about how you wrote the sex scene in one sentence. to be able to get across the whole essence in one simple sentence takes so much talent i could never. and the way you did the pov switch without switching povs (where norman is imagining what ethan is doing) was brilliant! (i am awful about accidentally switching povs)

i wish i could explain myself better, but i'm not as good with words as you are.

anyway, since i'm here i also have a question, and i hope it's not too vague or stupid etc. but how do you do it?? (i guess what i mean is, what books/other media inspires your writing? do you have a writing routine or a secret tip? or is it just natural talent?)

sorry for being a weirdo but your fic is my roman empire so to speak

thanks again for writing and publishing (especially in our tiny little fandom!!)

pardon how late this is, i'm not at all good at tumblr lmao. but ahhh, thank you, you're very kind! it's so great to hear that something i wrote meant so much to someone else, and it's SO great to hear that it got someone else writing their own fic! no judgment whatsoever about the hoarding of copies, my autism is the cause of many mysterious choices i make in life 😌

it's a little embarrassing in a way because i most definitely don't consider myself a creator of great literature or anything, i just work hard on my fics and take the process of writing them seriously (maybe too seriously)... but i'm going to try to answer your question/request for tips as sincerely as i can!

read. like for real, read other people's writing! i actually don't do this nearly as much as i would like to anymore and i can tell my writing is a little rustier for it. when i read other people's writing, i sometimes feel like i'm filling up an invisible "tank" that holds my ability to do words good. :') as a personal example, i have a short story anthology by vladimir nabokov that i've been slowly whittling my way through for a million years -- i loved his prose the first time i read it in middle or high school and i think it has been a big influence on my desire to look for unexpected turns of phrase and vocabulary words i didn't know before. sometimes i like to keep a list of new vocab words i encounter as i read to look up later, but usually i end up getting distracted and looking them up as i go. 😩 though this is easier than ever if you're reading digitally, i suppose! i think learning to identify the things you like in writing is really important. for me, that has a lot to do with not only finding the exact words i want to describe something, but also their cadence/musicality in a sentence. i remember very little about the poetry terms i learned in school, but i think learning about the anatomy of poems can be a really useful tool when it comes to prose also! or if nothing else, it can be fun to try experimenting with shuffling around the order of words or substituting one synonym for another to see how it changes the overall sound and feel of a sentence.

write! then tweak/rewrite. i actually hate the advice "you gotta just write" lmao... pisses me off every time because i know it's true 😭 i can dick around writing notes/meta as long as i like (and i do), but there's truly no other way to make progress like just fucking writing SOMETHING down even if you hate it and think it's bad. i used to get academic papers done in college and grad school by quickly and sloppily blasting down the basic gist of my main points like a 10 year old and then going back and revising it to sound like an adult. it's a little different with fiction because i'm writing something i already actually want to write, but it can still help to jot down the bare bones of a scene even if i don't even use it in the end. writing out dialogue can help a lot in my experience. i do feel pretty strongly that revisions are nearly always necessary -- i don't always get my fics beta'd by another person, but at minimum i have to put it down and re-read it for myself to make sure everything is flowing the way i want it to. betas really are helpful, though, because a LOT of times i'll think something makes perfect sense in my head only to find out my friend has no idea what i'm on about lmao. this can also help with things like switching povs, like you mentioned! there's nothing wrong with having a pov switch happen in your fic, mind you! it's just that ideally it's happening because you wanted it to happen instead of like, uh-oh, i need to convey some information about norman that ethan doesn't have a way of knowing. it's funny you mention the fap/fantasy scene because i think that's literally what happened when i was writing it, like... i think i was like "hmm, i want to emphasize that ethan is most definitely Into norman and this thing that's growing between them, but i've stuck with norman's pov this entire time and i don't want to put one solitary scene of ethan pov in there, if i can help it... but hey, norman's a profiler! visualizing what people do when they're alone is his whole thing!" so that was the perfect excuse to frame it that way in the end. ✨

canon review for characterization. this has less to do with the mechanics of writing, but honestly, if i had to choose, i'd much rather read a fic that totally nails the characterization than one that's perfect on a technical level. y'know that meme that's like "he would NOT fucking say that"? i do everything i can to avoid eliciting that response lfkdslf. iirc while i was writing interstate i basically always had an LP of heavy rain playing so i could observe the way the characters react in different situations, listen to their speech patterns and the types of words/language they use, and just kind of... idk, absorb the general vibe a little bit, i guess? i know i just mentioned you have to write Actual Story and not just notes to make progress, but i do also tend to have a LOT of notes about like... "okay so norman actually really likes this guy, but the reason he's holding back his feelings is because he's given so much of himself to his work and he's so used to looking at people in the abstract that he struggles to connect with them, leading him over time to decide that he can't or isn't good enough to be what ethan deserves, and what could ethan maybe say or do to help challenge that so they can move forward?" etc etc.... at the risk of being Very Autistic, i find i do a lot of if/then calculations when it comes to plotting character beats. 😅 "if these two particular lonely dudes start to form a connection one night at a bar, what then?"

have a thesis. this feels kind of ridiculously pretentious when i write it out, but it honestly really helps me a lot with staying focused: it's basically me answering wtf my point is. why do i think this fic needs to be written in the first place? it's the thing i want to accomplish, the idea i want to share with people who read it. even if i don't have a solid statement to make, there's always SOME kind of central question i'm trying to answer -- a lot of times, that question is as simple as "man, you know, i really wanna see these two bone. what has to happen for that to be possible?" for precedence i think it was basically just "hey wouldn't it be fucked up if...?" and for interstate it expanded to "hey i think these two deserve a happy ending and they deserve to share it together. what does that look like?"

so i dunno, hopefully all that is at least slightly useful and not just self-indulgent rambling, but thank you for giving me the ability to self-indulgently ramble if nothing else 😭

but above all, please do not doubt your own ability! writing is hard and sometimes sucks but it's also a lot of fun and there's not a right way to tell the story you want to tell, it just matters that you tell it. so... DO 💪

[lokh]

ok so. how often do you think is reasonable to be absent from work.

[redhairedwolfwitch]

the story of us - Aitana Bonmatí x Reader - part 4

a/n: got stuck on this part for a while because i was not sure about the ballon d'or at all... but i figured it out and thus you get part 4...

///

“How heavy do you think the trophy is?” Jill laughed, but you were quick to open Whatsapp, asking Alexia how heavy the trophy was. Your former captain had won the award twice, so she would know if you would drop it.

“What if we drop it?”

“Do not drop it.” Poppi warned you, but she had a smile after that still left you nervous, so you began to rationalise.

“Not going to drop it, because I’m not going to win, thus everything is fine.”

“You keep flip-flopping between thinking you’re going to win and thinking you’re going to lose.” Jill deadpanned, but you let out a sigh.

“I’m being rational and analysing all outcomes, plus it means I’m either right, or pleasantly surprised and panicking because I have to go up there and make a speech in front of a lot of people, including my ex. I’m surprised she’s even attending, she didn’t go last year when she was nominated the first time.” You replied, tapping your fingers on the plastic table in front of you, your eyes drawn to the way the rain was pelting down the bus windows.

“Because it was obvious who would win last year?”

“How did we get nominated?” You began to spiral again, but you were cut off with a certain reminder.

“You won the world cup!” 

“It was a team effort!” You retorted, flinching as the rain got heavier, “are you sure we’re going to be able to fly?”

“Stop trying to get out of going to Paris, you picked out an amazing outfit and everything.” Jill replied, but you had stopped talking, your fingers tapping in more rapid succession than before.

“Everything is fine. Aitana will win, I just have to avoid her for the entire night then hope Wolfsburg never play Barcelona ever again.” You murmured, your fingers still tapping until Ewa reached over to stop you.

“Or anyone here could, y’know, you were the golden boot winner of the UWCL-”

“You won the World Cup and the golden boot at the World Cup.” Ewa pointed out, but you still slid down in your seat, “and the UWCL with Barcelona…” you flinched at that memory, how Barcelona was two goals down by half time, Patri and Rolfö eventually turning the tides to swipe the victory from the German team. The team you went to after you could no longer take being haunted in Barcelona for another moment.

You had texts from Jana and Alexia, but you couldn’t read them. Not when the bus finally reached the airport, or in the airport, or on the delayed plane due to the weather, or when you all finally landed in Paris.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Your voice was quiet, staring at the outfit you were wearing for the event in the mirror.

“That colour suits you.”

“Thank you.” Meeting Jill’s eyes in the mirror for a moment, you hid your shaking hands by folding your arms, trying not to crease your outfit but the nerves were getting to you.

“You came this far, you won nearly everything last season. Don’t let your fear of her ruin your big moment.” 

“When did you become so wise? You get a PR crash course after that drama before the final?” You wished you had bitten your tongue instead of saying that as Jill flinched, but she knew what you were talking about, and what she had said back then had upset a lot of people.

“I know you just wanted to be with Jana.” As close to an apology as she would get, Jana was your best friend at Barcelona, so you knew the Dutchie well enough now too.

“We should meet up with the others. You know Jana misses you?” The Dutchie diverted the conversation.

“I miss her everyday. But I don’t miss Aitana.”

///

The red carpet was almost too much, the bright lights, the clicking of cameras. Your hands shook as you clenched them momentarily, you had no one to hold your hand, but you didn’t need anyone. You’d convinced yourself of that, you would never open your heart again after Aitana ripped it out of your chest and crushed it in her palm.

You avoided as many rumours as possible, but the possible head to head in points between you and Aitana made your stomach churn. You’d already gotten one glance of her, sticking close to your Wolfsburg teammates instead.

The seating for the actual award ceremony was what scared you the most, in case they had you and Aitana nearby each other. Your fingers tapped rhythmically on the arms of the chair you were guided to sit in. Right at the front, in view of the cameras. You moved your arms down to your sides, almost sitting on your hands to hide the nervousness.

The entire ceremony sounded like white noise to you, your heartbeat in your chest running at a rate that would be alarming for any medical staff monitoring it. Taking a deep breath, you went over the mantra that kept you going after that dreaded day. You deserved better, something that hurt to recognise on any day, but Valentine’s day was a stab to your already breaking heart.

“The winner of the 2023 Women’s Ballon d’Or is…”

Hearing them say your name, the world around you came into focus, standing up to accept the award, you already knew what you wanted to say.

“I never thought that I would get this far, to be standing here surrounded by such amazing players, nominated for such a prestigious award. I would like to thank each and every person who believed that I could do this, who believed that I could achieve new heights in my career through the Champions League and the World Cup, and hopefully further now with Wolfsburg. But I also want to thank the people who didn’t think I could get this far, for providing me with the motivation to prove you wrong.”

///

Luckily you didn’t need to pretend you were busy after the ceremony, everyone wanted your attention as you stuck close to your Wolfsburg teammates, keeping an eye out for a certain person you had made a dig at during your speech. Standing alone in the crowded room, you focussed on not tripping over your feet and/or dropping the heavy trophy you had somehow won. 

It had been close between you and Aitana, but she was doing her best to avoid you, holding her pride like she had held you once. Maybe one day when recounting the story, you’d explain how you were losing your mind from the moment the nominations were published. Your heart still pounded in your chest, especially when you spotted your former teammates at Barcelona who had been nominated wanting to approach you.

But the congratulations never happened, as you were ushered away by Wolfsburg staff to head back, worried about delays due to the storm. 

Her face was blank as she watched your retreating figure, how you were holding the award close to you and trying to not look down at your feet, as you disappeared out of Aitana’s sight.

Barcelona had never heard a silence so loud as you walked away, but even though Barcelona had won nearly everything last season, the story of you and Barcelona still had a tragic ending, because Barcelona had lost you.

[turneradora]

Here is the written transcription of the new article of The Times magazine.

Published today on September 14th.

Thanks to Emma Jones 🙏👍🌺

Thanks to IsaDemrio for her edit

INTERVIEW with CAITLIN MORAN

Jilly Cooper’s raunchy Rivals: ‘You will see a lot of willies’

It’s taken 36 years, but finally Jilly Cooper’s legendary bonkbuster Rivals is on TV. Caitlin Moran — who was such a fan, she changed her name to one of the book’s characters — meets the author and stars on set and asks: how was it for you?

Guess where I am.

Oh my gosh — I am in RUTSHIRE.

If you own one of the multimillion copies sold of Jilly Cooper’s infamous Rutshire Chronicles books, you will a) be as excited as me, and b) know exactly where I am.

Yes, I am standing in front of a beautiful, honey-coloured mansion.

Yes, it is a beautiful summer’s day.

Yes, the herbaceous borders are magnificent.

Yes, there are adorable dogs milling around.

Yes, there are champagne bottles strewn hither and yon.

And yes, everyone is dressed in alternately fabulous, or ridiculous, Eighties outfits, with gigantic hair.

The ladies have electric-blue eyeshadow and golden, heaving bosoms.

The men, meanwhile, have tanned legs, huge Rolexes — and, in many instances, their gigantic hair manifests lower down: in moustaches like that of Tom Selleck.

And yes, of course, there is drama. David Tennant — wearing a lavish, gold, silken man-blouse and sucking on a cigar — is furious. He is savaging a roomful of party people, all looking stricken — and all, incongruously, wearing swimwear.

“How the f*** has this happened?” Tennant screams, as all the tits and legs fidget, gaudy piña coladas abandoned. “Get the f*** out there and sort this out! And why are you all wearing bikinis?”

Tennant storms from the room, apoplectic with rage — and then sees me.

“Oh, hello, darling,” he says, all sweetness and light.

“CUT!” the director calls.

Today, David Tennant isn’t, of course, David Tennant. He’s Tony Baddingham, the infamous, nominative-determinist baddie of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals.

“So, is this fun?” I ask him.

The last time I saw him on set, he was being the Doctor in Doctor Who, in a floor-length coat, trying to save the world from being exploded. Again. In the rain. In Wales. At 1am.

“Oh yes,” Tennant says. “I mean, look at my blouse. It’s like my aunt’s! Actually, I think it might be hers — it closes right to left. Don’t men’s buttons close left to right? Am I wearing,” he asks the room at large, “a woman’s blouse?”

“We need to go again, David,” the director says.

“Back in a tick,” Tennant says, running back on set, sucking on his cigar. Getting ready to be really evil, and Eighties, again.

Going back — to Rutshire.

Since Riders, the first volume of the Rutshire Chronicles, was published in 1985 — soaring straight to the top of the charts and eventually selling more than one million copies — Jilly Cooper has been the unassailable queen of the English bonkbuster.

While Shirley Conran’s Lace and Jackie Collins’ Hollywood Wives might have rivalled Cooper for sales, Cooper’s books are particularly well thumbed and beloved by their devotees because, underneath all the shagging and scandal, there’s something incredibly English and wholesome about them. Yes, there are villains, and orgies, and boardroom shenanigans — but just as much space is taken up by descriptions of scrumptious shepherd’s pies, heavenly rose gardens, darling horses and adorable dogs. And yes, the words used are “scrumptious”, “heavenly”, “darling” and “adorable” — the Cooper lexicon is heavy on delighted adjectives.

I meet countless people — actually, let’s be honest here: women; it’s women who are Cooper fans — who read these books as teenagers and had their lives changed by them. If you were in some boring suburb, or council house, reading about these relatably flawed English characters — all smoking; getting “tight” during long, boozy lunches; worrying about sweat patches on their cashmere dresses; gossiping; fighting their way through the class system; decorating beautiful houses; falling in love; and making endless puns and jokes — it all seemed a far more appealing, and possibly achievable, depiction of adulthood than the rather grim ones being peddled by Roth, Updike or Amis.

There are now at least two generations of women who, technically, emotionally, grew up not in Wolverhampton or Glasgow — but Rutshire.

This is why, in many ways, it seems strange it’s taken so long for the Rutshire Chronicles to make it to TV. Yes, there was a made-for-TV movie adaptation of Riders, back in 1993 — but Cooper fans don’t talk about that. At the time, “The acting appears to be from a Gold Blend advert,” was the kindest review.

No, it has taken until 2024 for someone to take on the task, drum up an incredible cast — David Tennant, Alex Hassell, Aidan Turner, Danny Dyer, Katherine Parkinson, Emily Atack — and persuade Disney, of all people, to cough up for all the mansions, helicopters, dogs, champagne and shoulder pads necessary to bring Dame Jilly Cooper’s beloved, fun, shagging Rutshire to life. A place as mythic to the British imagination as Narnia, the Hundred Acre Wood or the Brontës’ moors — but with, obviously, a lot more banging.

“Honestly, people thought I was mad,” says Dominic Treadwell-Collins, executive producer of the show. “I’ve been working on this for ten years. No, more — since the year 2000. I’d been a fan of Jilly since I was 20 — and when I got into TV, whenever I was in a meeting I’d say, ‘I want to do Jilly Cooper. I have to get these books on TV.’ And people would just slap their thighs and laugh.”

Treadwell-Collins’ previous projects include a five-year stint on EastEnders — “When we were getting 20 million viewers for the live shows” — and the multi-Bafta-winning A Very English Scandal, directed by Stephen Frears and starring Hugh Grant and Ben Whishaw.

But now, he still looks puzzled at the mocking reaction Jilly Cooper caused. “I could never understand it. I genuinely think Jilly Cooper is the Jane Austen of our times. These are the books people will study, in the future, when they want to understand what the Eighties were like. Jilly comes across as fluffy and lovely — but she’s got a steely eye when it comes to the sexism, the homophobia, the racism, class. You think it’s all lavish and flirty — and it is — but then, on every third page, she’ll come and kick you in the shins. But every time I pitched it, people would be like, ‘Jilly Cooper? She’s just … a bit naff?’ And it was always men who said it. But I bet if they’d asked their wives, they would say, ‘I LOVE HER! MAKE IT NOW!’ ”

It does seem there is a continual, notable blindness to female audiences. It reminds me of all the fuss around Bridgerton when it first aired. Light romantic fiction — your Mills & Boon, your original Bridgerton books — sells more than any other genre. It sells in tens of millions. But because women buy those books, it’s … ignored. Until, that is, US TV behemoth Shonda Rhimes unexpectedly adapted Bridgerton — and it instantly became Netflix’s biggest hit to that point.

Suddenly, “books read by women” were revealed to be potential TV goldmines.

“Yes,” Treadwell-Collins says. “We are unashamed in wanting to make female viewers happy with this. We want this to become everyone’s favourite show. For it not to be a dirty secret any more that you love Jilly Cooper. We want people running down the street wearing ‘I LOVE JILLY COOPER’ T-shirts. It’s … a rich treat.”

It certainly is a rich treat. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a set where it’s so obvious that the budget is huge.

“We were the last show commissioned in the streaming gold rush,” Treadwell-Collins had said, earlier. “Budgets are very different now.”

There is an emotional support dog on set — of course there is. An ice-cream van turns up at 2pm — burly crew members walk around the grounds eating tiny pink strawberry cones, looking delighted. And, for reasons I never fully discover, someone has a ferret on a lead.

As I wander around the gigantic mansion, I bump into various cast members, who all seem overjoyed to be there.

Claire Rushbrook, who plays Monica Baddingham — Tony Baddingham’s posh, tolerant wife — is in the orangery, having her make-up done, while eating a scone.

“I mean, we are doing acting,” she says. “I want to make that clear. But … it is also enormous fun.”

The comedian and actress Emily Atack — playing the irrepressibly titty Sarah Stratton — is lounging on a love seat, in an orange kimono, stroking the emotional support dog. She has spent most of this day wearing nothing but a bikini.

“I keep chatting to people, like, ‘Hey, Dan, how’s the kids?’ — and then realising my tits are out,” she says.

Nafessa Williams, who plays Cameron Cook, and is, as she says, “the only American on set”, describes everyone as “so welcoming” — but has struggled with small cultural differences.

“My cast mates would say, ‘I’m going to the loo,’ and I was like, “What does that even mean?’ I had to be told the loo is the restroom — so it was a whole new world for me.”

When it comes to the atmosphere on set, I later talk to David Tennant about this subject.

“Yes — there was a lot of due diligence about only having … joyful people on set. Crew and cast,” Tennant says, carefully.

Treadwell-Collins is more forthright.

“We had a very strict ‘no arseholes’ policy,” he says. “We did a lot of research. On EastEnders, some of [the cast] were really unpleasant; rotten apples who ruined it. For Rivals, we talked to producers and agents off the record, and if they said, ‘He’s a marvellous actor — but also a wanker,’ or, ‘He’ll be amazing, but he did beat up a girlfriend ten years ago,’ we just didn’t cast them. Lots of people [in television] will put up with it. We were like, ‘Life’s too short.’ Also, if you’ve got David Tennant on the call sheet, he’s such a genuinely lovely, kind, decent man — and that flows down through everyone else.”

However, while Tennant might be No 1 on the call sheet, Rivals is not his show. For there is one character who is the ultimate pivot of the Rutshire Chronicles: Rupert Campbell-Black.

Rupert Campbell-Black is a hot, posh bastard who, due to a three-book-long redemptive arc, is also one of womankind’s most fancied fictional creations.

Infamously, he was “inspired” by Queen Camilla’s ex-husband, Andrew Parker-Bowles.

Unlike Andrew, however, there are whole pages on Mumsnet dedicated to middle-aged women describing their hottest Rupert Campbell-Black sexual fantasies. I cannot overstate what a sex god he is held to be by Jilly Cooper fans. “RCB”, as he’s referred to, is … vaginally totemic to millions of women.

After a global search — auditions were held from America to Australia — Alex Hassell, previously seen as Metatron in His Dark Materials, was finally cast in this iconic role. When I talk to him, the main thing I want to discuss with him is how … feverishly his turn will be received.

Are you aware of Rupert’s … lubricious gravity within the Cooper fandom?

“I didn’t read the books as a teenager,” Hassell says, cheerfully. “They were on the top shelf in my mum and dad’s study, and I always wondered what they were.”

Your mother was a Jilly Cooper fan? And, therefore, presumably … a Rupert Campbell-Black fan?

“My mum, you know … blushed when I told her [I’d got the role],” Hassell admits. “A lot of women blushed when I told them.”

I’m interviewing Hassell, 44, and Tennant, 53, together. As a former Doctor, Tennant has, of course, a lot of experience in playing a role women find attractive.

“Once you’ve made [Rupert Campbell-Black] flesh, I think a lot of people are going to find it difficult to interact with you, Alex,” he says, helpfully.

It seems Hassell is aware of this.

“Yes,” he says. “One friend, when I told her, said, ‘Oh, that’s a bean-flicker role!’ I said, ‘Ah, I see.’ ”

“Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone come up to me and say, ‘I’ve masturbated thinking about you,’ ” Tennant says, thoughtfully.

“David!” Hassell exclaims, hurt. “When we met, that’s the first thing I said.”

The main plot of Rivals revolves around the, well, rivalry between Tony Baddingham and Rupert Campbell-Black. When young, Baddingham was bullied by Campbell-Black at boarding school. Now a powerful TV CEO — running the Rutshire local TV franchise — Baddingham still loathes Campbell-Black. Why?

“Tony’s from a lower class, while Rupert was born with an entire silver cutlery canteen in his mouth,” Tennant says. “So whatever Tony does, he never has that class advantage. Tony needs to taste the blood of his betters in his mouth to make him feel better. Rupert��s blood.”

“And while Rupert is, in many ways, a shit,” Hassell says, thoughtfully, “he’s not a bad man, like Tony. Tony is jealous of Rupert. He wants his house, his women, his life.”

Accordingly, this suit-based class war plays out as Campbell-Black tries to take over Baddingham’s TV station — and the backstabbing, shenanigans, shagging and skulduggery commence. Basically, imagine Dallas — but if, instead of oil, everyone was fighting to take over Anglia Television. Getting really angry over who has the rights to Sale of the Century.

I tell you what, though — why am I describing all this? The best person to talk about the plot of Rivals is the woman who came up with it: Jilly Cooper. And — here she is!

Cooper’s arrival on the set of Rivals is like a cross between a visit from royalty and the advent of an adorable, massive-haired, 87-year-old Bacchus. Everyone is awaiting her presence.

“Is there any booze?” comes her voice, from the hallway, as she approaches.

She is still being told, with polite sadness, that there is no booze as she comes into the room. It’s 1.30pm.

“They don’t have any booze here,” she relays to me, regretfully, as she sits down. “I asked before, but — no luck. I smuggled some in last time, and spilled it all over me — I’m terribly clumsy.”

Cooper is the living embodiment of the Rutshire world she created. In terms of being “on brand”, Jilly Cooper turning up in a mansion, looking for lunchtime champagne, is CS Lewis turning up with a talking beaver, gossiping about an “exciting wardrobe” he’s just found.

Everyone here has been to a “Jilly Party” — regular and seemingly full-on occurrences, held at the house she’s lived in since the Seventies.

“You just leave absolutely pissed,” says one, who doesn’t want to be named. “They have to ladle you into a taxi.”

“Oh, the last one was just a little party,” Cooper says.

What’s a little party?

“Seventy, seventy-five people?” Cooper says. “And then friends from the village, obviously. Andrew Parker-Bowles. Richard Madeley and his wife. Nicky Haslam. Lisa Maxwell. Stanley Tucci — who was heavenly.”

Please tell me the party was exactly like the ones in the books.

“Well, yes. We had kir royale, Pimm’s, wines. Gins.”

Note: gins multiple.

“Vol-au-vents, melon and Parma ham, smoked salmon on blinis. Brandy snaps with Chantilly cream. Everyone got awfully tight. I led them around the infamous tennis court.”

The tennis court at Cooper’s house is the setting for one of her most iconic scenes — where Campbell-Black first meets his love interest, Taggie, while he’s playing naked tennis. He is adjudged to have lost a match point because something is over the line. Oh, why am I being so coy? This is Jilly Cooper. It’s his penis. His massive penis is judged to be over the line. A note to diehard fans: this scene is shot exactly as written. You will see a lot of willies.

“We’ve been equal opportunities in our nudity,” Treadwell-Collins says. “There’s a willy for every pair of tits.”

“That was my great disappointment over the TV show,” Cooper sighs. “The tennis court is a terrible mess — no one’s played on it for 20 years — and I thought [Disney] might be darlings and build me a new one.”

She looks around, hopefully.

“Do you think anyone here has some booze?” she asks. “It is the afternoon.”

Cooper has been an invaluable muse to everyone on set while filming. In one scene, she handed over an urgent note that read, “Rupert would never say ‘spouse’ — that’s very lower-middle [class]. He would say ‘wife’.”

She argued for particularly Cooperesque jokes and puns to stay in, and was firm that the whole “First of May” tradition remain.

“Oh, yes,” she says, looking delighted, and then quotes herself. “ ‘First of May, first of May — outdoor f***ing starts today. But if as usual it do rain, we f*** off indoors again.’ ”

This ribald rhyme kicks off a massive shagging montage, involving the entire cast. And all outdoors, of course.

But, as any English person knows, outdoor sex is a perilous sport. Perhaps the emotional centrepiece of Rivals is the agonisingly drawn-out attraction between Freddie (Danny Dyer) and Lizzie (Katherine Parkinson), both married to awful people, but who ache for each other in a way that is guaranteed to bring tears to the viewers’ eyes. A scene where they bunk into the first-class carriage of a train to smoke fags and share fruitcake, while timidly flirting with each other, is the Brief Encounter of our time.

And, without wanting to chuck in too many spoilers, when they finally requite their love for each other, it’s one of the all-time great sex scenes. Danny Dyer, it turns out, is exquisite, adorable leading-man material, while Katherine Parkinson “is the new Olivia Colman”, Treadwell-Collins says, firmly. “She will be garlanded with Baftas and Oscars. Honestly. And she wanted to do the sex scene,” he adds. “She was like, ‘I really want to show my boobs. I’m in my mid-forties and they look good.’ In that scene, you can see she’s crying — really crying, with happiness — and it makes you cry too. She looks like a f***ing queen.”

On set, however, the sex scene was not without its problems. Because it was “outdoor f***ing”, in a flower meadow.

“But it was at the height of tick season,” Treadwell-Collins recalls, with a shudder. “Not safe to be in the grass. We didn’t want to get a tick on Danny Dyer’s willy! In the end, we had to get in a load of moss for them to lie on. It’s the first time, to my knowledge, that safe sex has involved moss.”

I can’t tell you what fun it is interviewing all the Rivals people. Because of the show, everyone talks about their memories of the Eighties (David Tennant: “No, my Eighties weren’t like a Jilly Cooper book — I was at school in Paisley with my glasses held together with sticky tape, and a very unappealing haircut”), and smoking (Hassell: “Everyone smoked everywhere, didn’t they? Even on planes. They’d draw across that little … health curtain, and everyone smoked behind it”), and how hard it was to leave Cooper’s world when shooting finished (Hassell: “No one was looking at me like I’m the most sexy man on the planet any more. It was tough.”)

My final interview is with Aidan Turner, who is playing Rivals’ chat show host, Declan O’Hara.

I mean to cast no aspersions on extremely handsome men who spent a decade being a country’s totemic sex god — as Turner was, during his Poldark years — but sex gods are usually quite emotionally damaged, with a form of what might be termed “PTSD” — Post-Totty Stress Disorder. They often make for effortful company. They want to be taken seriously.

In the event, Turner, 41, is an absolute hoot — particularly on the subject of the massive moustache he sports on the show. It is a magnificent specimen of upper-lip pelt. It looks like a vole fell asleep under his nose.

It looks like the one Ned Flanders has on The Simpsons, I tell him.

Turner gives a huge, barking laugh.

“Ned Flanders? I mean, I was thinking more … Irish stag? Super-masculine?”

He starts giggling again.

Turner’s relaxed stance towards his sex god-dom comes with an interestingly meta twist. In Rivals, one of Baddingham’s TV shows is called Four Men Went to Mow — where sexy farmers, sexily stripped to the waist, carry out sexy agricultural duties.

Turner, of course, infamously stripped to the waist a few times in Poldark, for that scything scene or lying in bed or emerging from the sea. In a pleasingly postmodern moment, one scene sees Turner rail against Four Men Went to Mow — raging, almost camply, “TV can’t just be men taking their tops off!”

“Yes, that’s a lovely moment,” Turner says. “When I read the script, I was like, ‘Why have you put this in? It’s too close [to Poldark].’ But then they told me it’s in the original books — and it’s so funny. The first time I did that scene, people were keeling over laughing. It’s good to poke fun at these things.”

As one of the most Eighties stories ever, Rivals takes on some massive subjects: class, Aids, Section 28, sexism, rape, homophobia, Thatcherism, racism. As the Jane Austen of her time, Cooper has a lot of grist for her mill. The dramatic tension never drops.

But this is done hand in hand with the most delicious sense of silliness and fun. There is a single tracking shot of a buffet — the Most Eighties Buffet Ever — and the sheer amount of prawns is deeply hilarious. Prawns are very Eighties — and Rivals knows it.

Rivals knows that when it’s in Rupert Campbell-Black’s house, we will see his cold, posh childhood is perfectly encapsulated by the fact that his walls are covered in formidable oil paintings of his ancestors — but all his photo frames are full of pictures of his dogs.

And Rivals knows exactly when to play Huey Lewis and the News.

“We call it the Cooperverse,” Treadwell-Collins tells me. “It really is the equal of the DC or Marvel worlds. It’s that epic. And those who know about it are equally obsessed.”

I can attest to that. When I first read Rivals, at the age of 13, I decided I wanted to be a character in one of Cooper’s books. Specifically, Declan O’Hara’s youngest daughter: a feisty teenage girl who had dyed red hair, lived in a beautiful, sprawling house called the Priory, and was constantly rebelling against her school.

As a down payment, I first dyed my hair red. And then I decided I would change my name, in her honour. If I couldn’t actually be Declan’s youngest daughter, Caitlin O’Hara, I would stop being Catherine Moran and become Caitlin Moran. As some small promise that, one day, my life would be as fun as that of a Jilly Cooper heroine.

Because, sometimes, you don’t need a story about mythic quests, or wars, or dragons, or murder. You just need a story that promises you: being a grown-up could be exciting.

And that when sex, love, drama, awful men, fabulous bitches, workplace intrigues, swathes of blue eyeshadow and buffets of prawns finally come into your life, you can … poke fun at these things.

You can live in the Cooperverse too.

Rivals is on Disney+ from October 18

#Rivals

[galatially]

❝𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠❞

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — 𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 x 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤!𝐫&𝐛 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 — through rain or through shine, our love transcends; dick surprises you on tour 

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 — 1.9K

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈, 𝟏𝟖+, strong language, mostly fluff MOSTLY, friends to lovers, smidge of jealous!dick, heavy makeup session,

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — i might go back and change the ending later but for now, enjoy!

as always, lovely banners and dividers by @firefly-graphics​ 

“How are y’all feeling tonight?”

The crowd erupted into raucous applause and screams. All of their love, all of their devotion, you felt it in the air. Like electricity running along your skin. 

Ever since you were a little girl, you wanted to sing. You sang in the church and school choirs, took vocal lessons, and taught yourself to play the piano, guitar, and the drums. By the time you were in college, you took a few music production classes and had started up a YouTube channel. 

It took almost three years before your channel got any traction but you were no stranger to hard work. By the fourth year anniversary of your channel, your songs had been used in two major television shows and you were nominated for three Grammys. 

But you’d be nowhere without your fans. You could remember when you went on your first headlining tour with Paloma Wagner, a former Gothamite that you had posters of on your childhood bedroom wall, and you’d spent all night at your merch table talking to the kids and signing autographs. All of your hard work staring back at you, in the eyes of people who believed in you just as much as you believed in yourself. 

You brought the mic back up to your lips, a hand on your chest. “I cannot thank y’all enough for supporting me and my dreams these past four years. From sitting in my room making videos to playing small local shows to y’all selling out stadiums.” 

“We love you!”

“Now, I know that this is the last show,” the crowd groaned and you smiled, “but this is my home sweet home of Metropolis! How about we play an oldie? The song that started it all, yeah?”

The crowd roared again and you smiled. Your band started playing behind you. “This song is called, ‘Love Letters’.”

“Great show tonight, y’all.”

“Did you want to celebrate with us?” one of your dancers, Alisha, asked.

Another dancer, Mila, came up behind you, smirking. “Nah, she’s probably going to wait for that boyfriend of hers to call.”

“Bruce Wayne’s kid, right?”

You rolled your eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s barely a friend.”

Mila snorted. “Didn’t he leave you that bouquet of tiger lilies a few weeks ago in Texas?” 

Alisha’s eyes widened. “That was him?”

You smirked at them through the reflection of the glass. “Didn’t y’all want to go out with the others? They’re probably halfway to the parking garage by now.”

“Tell your boyfriend that we say hello, at least.” You playfully waved them off and bid them goodbye. Mila and Alisha made kissy noises as they left your dressing room. 

You turned back to your mirror, your smile still on your lips. As you took off your makeup, your mind dwelled on the aforementioned billionaire’s son. He was far from your boyfriend but a little more than a friend. You can’t really recall how you met Dick other than the fact that he appeared almost instantly in a coffeeshop in a Gotham during one of your first visits. You sat and talked at a window facing table for three hours before he had to get back to work. Then, a few weeks later, he found you on Instagram and you started talking more frequently. 

That was two years ago now. 

While touring has limited how much you got to visit Gotham, you still kept in contact through Instagram and Snapchat. Dick even congratulated you on finishing your newest album a few days ago. 

You wondered if he listened to your music at all. If he would be able to decipher which songs were about him, hear the words that always seemed to get stuck in your throat when he was near. 

A sharp knock came up on your door. 

“Come in.”

Your manager, Lawrence, poked his head in. “You almost ready? The car’s waiting outside.”

“Let me just grab my bags and change really quick.” 

He nodded and ducked back out of the room. As you packed up the last of your makeup and threw your hoodie on, your phone chimed with a text.

Great job on the sold out tour ;) ;)

You were flipping through titles on Netflix when you heard the balcony doors open. You grabbed the lamp from the bedside table and tiptoed towards the sound, your cellphone in hand. As you got closer, you saw the figure, half-hidden behind the curtains. You raised the lamp higher and lunged. 

Everything happened so fast; hands went to your wrist and torso, holding you against them, and you were crowded up against the wall. Bright blue eyes stared back into yours. 

“Hey, sweetness.”

“Dick!” You pouted up at him. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“‘M sorry. Wanted to surprise you.” The corners of his mouth lifted. “Heard the show was a hit.”

You smiled. “My manager said that tonight’s show was the best show of the tour. Hometown heroes and all that.”

Dick pressed a kiss to your forehead. “That’s my girl.”

Your lips cut into the biggest smile. “How’s your family doing? I thought I saw Jason in Metropolis for some reason but forgot to text you about it.”

Something passed in his eyes before another smile came upon his lips. “Really? I’ll have to text him later. He’s been avoiding me the past few weeks.”

You frowned. “We were texting last night and he didn’t say anything.”

“Since when do you and Jason text?” 

A small part of your brain thought that his words sounded sharper than norma but you shook it off, lifting your shoulder as best you could. “He was in Metropolis a few months ago during one of my press tours, we got to talking, and exchanged numbers. We have a streak going on TikTok at the moment.”

Dick pouted. “You follow each other on TikTok? You don’t follow me on TikTok!”

“Do you want me to follow you on TikTok, Ricky?” you teased, chuckling. 

He cleared his throat, hugging you closer. “‘M just saying that it’s odd that you’re closer to my brother when I’m your best friend.”

Your smile fell some. “Why can’t I be both?”

“No offense, babe, but I’ve had to share most of my life with my siblings. I want to keep you to myself as long as I can.”

For a moment, you could pretend that the words were a heavy as you wanted them to be. That this would be the catalyst to one of the greatest love story ever to be told. But you knew better.

“So…we’ve been standing here for, like, ten minutes and I’m starving.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes. “You’re as bad as Jay is, Jesus.” He pinched your side and you swatted at him. “I’m just saying what Alfred is too polite to say! Don’t pinch me!”

His laugh rumbled through you as he led you back to the bedroom. 

“The Gotham City Opera House was one of my favorites to perform at.”

Dick was sat on the hotel floor, four pizza boxes beside him as he looked up at you on the bed. It reminded you of the first few months of meeting each other; staying up late to answer FaceTimes, talking on the phone for hours. You used to be damn near glued to your phone awaiting texts from him. 

It was insultingly easy to fall in love with Dick Grayson. 

“Did you go full orchestra like you wanted?”

Your eyes widened. “You remember that?”

He snorted. “Of course I do! You’ve been practically dreaming about singing with an orchestra ever since you told me about that concert you saw in Rome.” He smiled warmly. “You wouldn’t shut up about it for months. Alfred got you that vinyl recording of Carmen, remember?”

You nodded. “I still listen to it every once in a while. I have to remember to thank him again.”

“Speaking of music,” he leaned up against the edge of the bed, his forearm against your bare knees,”you should make me a playlist.” The last time you made me one was, what, eight months ago?”

“Something like that,” you offered. “What’s your vibe these days? More Tamaranian folk songs? Ooh! Maybe shoe-gaze since you live in Bludhaven now and want to get grungy?”

Dick wrinkled his nose. “Since when did you start listening to shoegaze?”

You lifted a shoulder. “Jay’s been getting me into Cocteau Twins and Pale Saints lately.”

“First TikTok streaks, now you guys are sharing playlists?”

Your brows pulled down at his tone. “Why are you being so weird about me and Jason hanging out right now?”

“You’ve been talking about him all night! If you wanted Jason so bad, why didn’t you text him?” You sucked in a sharp breath. “Shit. Sweetness, I’m —”

“I’m allowed other friends, Dick. I’m sorry that it’s your brother but you don’t get to judge me for that. We like the same music and movies and we just clicked.” You sat up on your legs, your brown eyes hard. “I don’t get upset when you talk about Barbara and I didn’t get upset when you were dating Kory and constantly telling me how beautiful and smart and kind and amazing she was. So why do you get to shame me for sharing some things about Jason?”

“I’m not shaming you,” he argued. “I just — you’re not attracted to him, are you?”

An exhale, or maybe it was a scoff, left your mouth. “You’re not serious.”

He moved to his feet, suddenly reminding you just how big Richard Grayson was; big, broad shoulders, large  hands moving to rest beside both of your thighs., effectively caging you in agains his strong, broad chest. His blue eyes that normally regarded you with warm were now leveling you with a gaze alien to his features.

Desperation. 

“Tell me.”

Your heart was pounding, blood rushing in your ears. Your face was burning hot. He was so close, his pants of breath fanning against your face. 

“Please, sweetness,” he rasped, “I need you to tell me that you have feelings for my brother. Because if you don’t, I’m going to kiss you and I can’t come back from that. Not with you.”

Dreaming. You had to be dreaming. 

“I don’t have feelings for your brother.” You let out a surprised squeal as your back hit the mattress, Dick’s lips against yours. He kissed you hard and slow, as if he were committing the taste of you to memory. He moved a thigh between your leg and you sucked in a breath. One of his large hands moved to cup your breast. 

“Dick, hold on.” You gripped his wrist, your chest rising and falling in heavy pants. “Just… give me a second.”

He helped sit you up, his hands hovering instead of touching you. “I’m sorry.”

“I just want to be clear that this,” you motioned between the two of you, “isn’t just some flash in the pan and you didn’t just kiss me out of some weird territorial shit with your brother.”

“I can assure you that I didn’t kiss you out of spite to Jason,” he said, a half smile on his lips. 

“So you like me. Romantically.”

“I do.”

Your face warmed. “Good. Because I like you, too.”

Dick gave you a brilliant smile. “Good.”

𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — like, yeah, jason todd is my bestest boy but dick and i are ✨synonyms✨ you know?

[blackboxfaxes]

Battle Report: House Kurita vs Word of Blake, Rematch

For the second campaign turn in a row, Kote Lance came under attack by the Blakists' lead Assault element - a Highlander, an Awesome, and a Crab, all heavily customized. Kote Lance was busy repairing after their last engagement with the Blakists - Raine's Marauder was already active, but Kimiko's Blitzkrieg, Casey's Black Knight, and Heather's Blackjack had to make rolls to emergency start. None of them booted up turn 1, as Raine moved her Marauder up, the other side of the field covered by the Raiden squad usually assigned to Heather.

The Tonbo at the bottom of the image is just set dressing, and the clear acrylic circles are all woods.

>[Reactor online. Weapons online. Sensors online. All systems nominal.] Heather's Blitzkrieg was, true to form, the first mech to activate, rolling a 10+ on turn 2, and she immediately set out to punish the Blakists' Crab for pushing forward, loosing a pair of Ultra AC20 shells on it, neither of which connected, but they certainly let the Blakists know she was there. Raine exploited a heavy woods, keeping her covered as she traded PPC blasts with the Blakists' custom Awesome. It also mounted a Gauss rifle, which she had only one answer for...

>Glad you ladies joined the party. Now, let's deal with our uninvited guests. That answer was the Gauss rifle mounted on Heather's Blackjack, as she leapt to the top of her repair facility, relying on the Jumping Jack ability to keep her accurate, she joined Raine in pouring fire down on the Awesome. Casey, as always, ran her Black Knight out of her mech bay on MASC, screaming the Coordinator's name, daikatana held high.

>Hey, Kimiko, how's your uppercut? With the enemy Crab having moved to the very cliff's edge, and wanting to avoid taking fire from the Awesome and Highlander, Heather saw an opportunity, and ran directly under the Crab, blocked from the other two mechs by the cliff's edge, and fired a pair of shells straight up into the Crab's forward-protruding fuselage. One shell connected, shredding the armor on the Crab's left torso and staggering it, while Heather, Casey, and Raine focused the Awesome.

>I'm gonna getcha Combined fire from those three mechs knocked the Awesome flat as it reached the cliff. The Crab retreated, and Kimiko, seeing herself threatened, pumped the breaks and streaked halfway across the field, aiming to flank around the Blakist formation. The Raiden squad, almost forgotten, saw a golden opportunity, and jumped for the Awesome.

>Alright, let's do this The Battle Armor weren't the only ones to see an opportunity. As the Awesome lurched to its feet, Casey's mech kicked its MASC in, for once not failing the roll, and reached point blank with the Awesome. The only problem with this idea was that it left her in full view of every enemy mech, and all of them focused fire on her exclusively. This put enough firepower into her to knock her flat, costing her her chance to use her hatchet, and getting the Awesome to stomp on her arm for good measure.

>Think we can handle this on our own? Kimiko's Blitzkrieg steamed and buttered the Crab with a second AC20 shot in the left torso, disabling its XL engine and leaving her open to move on the enemy Highlander. Meanwhile, Casey got up, and once again took all the fire from the Blakists, and then fell over AGAIN despite her piloting skill of 3. This time, however, the Blakist Awesome also fell. Now it was the Battle Armor's time to shine, and they jumped on their victim, going for the swarm.

>[deranged screaming that suddenly cuts off] Casey, having failed to connect with a melee attack and lost ninety percent of her armor, decided discretion was the better part of valor. The Blakist Highlander, under attack by a Blitzkrieg, contemptuously swatted it away with a gauss rifle and a PPC shot to the same torso section, taking it from untouched to disabled in two shots. The Awesome, however, tried to stand up. Perhaps struggling because of the battle armor clinging to it, it rolled a 3 when it needed a 4, fell on its arm, critted its arm, detonated the gauss rifle mounted there and electrocuted the pilot, who blacked out. The Raiden squad were of course delighted, and moved in for the kill. At this point, the Blakists conceded. While I was down to essentially one untouched and two half combat-effective mechs, he was down to one, and called it early rather than lose his Awesome. Each of us salvaged our own mechs and rescued our own pilots, leading to no lasting material changes to either side.

[ohnoitsjetster]

@calliemity wanted to see my teeth poem so here is my teeth poem

- (Short version)

Set on the Teeth

Life is meant to be more set on the teeth

More gnawed

Gnashed and jawed

More tested for sweet

Nipped like an unfamiliar hand on the snout

More to follow the molar curve

And pressed sharpness to the tongue

Oh man the mastication

Oh man the hinge and the gum

The alligator on my chin

The rain makes its leap

from jaw to collarbone

and the spit finds the corner of the lip

The skin breaks and makes

some sudden red

Life’s meant more set to the teeth

More traced palette

More bitten cheek

I will set my life to the teeth

I pledge to all the rotten meat

I will set my rotten soul on the teeth

From the honeysuckle to raw concrete

Life is so bitingly sweet

-

(Long / more rhyme-heavy version below the cut)

Set to the Teeth

Life is meant to be

more set to the teeth

More gnawed

More jawed

More tested for sweet

Nipped like the hand

on the nose of the beast

If the hot skin doesn't smell familiar

More to follow the molar curve

And pressed knife to the tongue

Like the bite-born killer

the tooth and the turn

the wolf in the wound

its the lunge

its the plunge

its the blood on the bullet

Set to bone and set to stone

and set unto the terrible teeth

Oh man the mastication

Oh man the hinge and gum

The alligator on my chin

The cut lets out

The lip lets in

Oh man oh man the allig-ation

The drool takes the drop

from jaw to collarbone

The spit finds the corner of the mouth

The skin breaks and makes

some sudden red

Oh gotta get it out

Life’s meant more set to the teeth

More traced palette

And more bitten cheek

I will set my life to the teeth

I pledge to all the rotten meat

I will set my rotten soul on the teeth

From the honeysuckle to raw concrete

Life is so bitingly sweet

Set to the terrible teeth

Set to the terrible teeth

-

If anyone wants to share their poems you can take this as an opportunity to do so! You could rb this with a poem or make your own post. I know @ricky-mortis and @calliemity write poetry so I nominate them, no pressure ofc! If you can’t decide on a poem u can use the prompt “teeth” or use one that fits it most closely :]

[tomorrowusa]

Apparently Ron DeSantis feels that science is "woke" and therefore needs to be suppressed.

Ron DeSantis has been accused of a “catastrophic” approach to the climate crisis after he launched his campaign for US president by saying he rejects the “politicization of the weather” and questioning whether hurricanes hitting his home state of Florida have been worsened by climate change.

DeSantis, the Republican Florida governor who announced his bid for the White House via a glitch-heavy Twitter stream on Wednesday, has previously dismissed concerns about global heating as “leftwing stuff” and he expanded upon this theme during a Fox News interview following his campaign launch.

“People tried to say when we had [Hurricane] Ian that it was because of climate change but if you look at the first 60 years from 1900 to 1960 we had more major hurricanes hit Florida than the 60 years since then,” DeSantis told his interlocutor, the former Republican congressman Trey Gowdy.

“This is something that is a fact of life in the Sunshine state. I’ve always rejected the politicization of the weather.”

DeSantis is telling Floridians, "Don't believe your lyin' eyes – or your wet feet for that matter."

Environmental groups have also taken aim at DeSantis over a record on climate they say is no better than Donald Trump’s, his rival for the Republican presidential nomination.

While governor, DeSantis has adopted bills banning Florida’s cities from adopting 100% clean energy goals and barred the state’s pension fund from making investment decisions that consider the climate crisis due to what he called a corporate attempt to “impose an ideological agendaon the American people”. He has also attacked the US military for being “woke” for warning about the national security risks posed by climate impacts.

DeSantis is a ruthlessly ambitious putz who is fixated on accumulating power at all costs.

Warm seas act like jet fuel to tropical cyclones. The temperature of the North Atlantic has unmistakably increased over the past hundred years.

Maybe DeSantis will try to blame "woke thermometers".

The problem for Florida is not so much the number of hurricanes but the intensity of hurricanes.

Category 5 storms making landfall in the US used to be rare. But two (Hurricane Michael, Hurricane Ian) have hit Florida in just the past five years.

Maybe DeSantis cut his high school physics class to watch far right porn. So he may have missed the lesson about warmer air being able to hold larger amounts of moisture.

While wind speed gets the most media attention, it's moisture in the form of rain and storm surge which kills the most people in hurricanes.

We all remember how Trump tried to use a Sharpie to modify a map showing the path of Hurricane Dorian. DeSantis would probably burn the map and close down the National Hurricane Center for being "woke".

DeSantis as president of the US would be a danger to the planet.

[paintedscales]

a11 :: Walking Home

Musings and questions on the walk back to the main site of the island sanctuary are brought up and discussed.

Word Count: 1,146

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The company of night had enshrouded the island sanctuary as Nomin and Estinien and ventured around it. Sounds of nightly vilekin slowly began their ascent to their nightly chorus, echoing around them with the flowing waters as a backing to their songs. Fireflies blinked, sticking close to the river and pond, offering a sense of ethereal wonder to the setting. Truly, the island had been a fantastical place.

There was a smile on Nomin’s face as she walked alongside Estinien through the brush and foliage. The two of them had walked around the island enough in the time they had been there together that their own trail was forming. Whether it was by Nomin atop her horse, Azarga, on her own, or with Estinien at her side, it was a trail that allowed her to follow it back home without any obstacles or snags.

"... So…" Nomin started, her voice slicing through the silence that hung between both her and her love. The elezen glanced down at her, inquisitive to what she had to say or ask.

"What exactly do you think of the island so far?" Nomin continued, presenting Estinien with her inquiry. "You've been here a few days, but I never thought to ask till now."

Estinien paused, causing Nomin to stop in her tacks to keep her attention on him. The elezen gave a low hum of consideration before he replied with, "'tis certainly a nice plot away from the stresses that come with being in cities like Limsa Lominsa or Ishgard. It has plenty to keep one with our set of skills occupied, not to mention the weather has been fair. I had some worries of gales or heavy rains with only my rather brief excursions through La Noscea."

“... Would you…” Nomin hesitated a moment, hanging onto that ‘you’ for a moment as she neared Estinien. “Would you mind living here with me, then? Th-that is…if you would like to. I just had the thought that since we have nothing pressing at our heels any longer…maybe it’d be a nice change of pace.”

The only response that Estinien could give Nomin in that very moment was one of mild bewilderment before he brought his finger and thumb to cup his chin in thought. His look of bemusement gave way to pensiveness as he spoke: "I have no qualms with the arrangement…though I worry my time here would often be short. What with helping to aid in training Vrtra's Radiant Host."

"Worry not about that," Nomin chuckled. "I know full well that even if we choose to make this our home, that both of us may very well not stay here for moons on end. It's simply a respite…a sanctuary of quiet away from the drone of the cities or towns if we're not traversing through largely uninhabited lands or wilds."

An amused scoff fell from Estinien’s lips.

"'We'? Already made that up in your mind, have you?" The dragoon folded his arms over his chest, his previously pensive expression becoming amused with that subtly curled smirk.

Nomin's tail twitched to the side with curiosity as she tilted her head with some trepidation. Drawing her hands together, Nomin looked down at them with an uncertain smile. She stayed silent, mulling over Estinien’s words with small twitches to her tail that hinted at visible uncertainty.

Eventually, a sigh left the former Azure Dragoon before he neared Nomin and placed his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. When the auri woman looked at him, she noted his mild sheepish expression. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Nomin’s forehead before speaking, "in our time in each other's presence, I would think you aware of when I speak in jest. You have naught to fret over. 'Tis as I said, the island is ideal for those like us. I would not mind seeing how we fare together here."

The auri's expression became relieved by Estinien’s words, and that relief was palpable. Her shoulders had relaxed, and her tail returned to gently swaying in idle fashion. Nomin had reached up so that her hands were gingerly clasping Estinien’s arms.

"Then you would share this land with me? As our own?" Nomin softly pressed, wanting a more definitive answer.

"Aye…I would. So long as you mind not my absence on more than one occasion," Estinien replied, bringing his hands along Nomin’s shoulders, up to cupping her cheeks. He caressed her skin and scales tenderly with his thumbs. "And I trust that on my return from such obligations that see me away that I shall not be returning to a mewling lamb so lost without my presence?"

The question was asked in a teasing fashion, and Nomin giggled. Her tail wiggled in amusement from side to side as she peered up at the elezen man with endearment. "I make no promises to that. It depends entirely how often I get to hear from you when you're gone."

Estinien scoffed and withdrew his hands, folding his arms back over his chest once again.

"You would make me carry a linkpearl?" he asked, his lip curling into a small smirk.

"Would it be so terrible?" Nomin responded in kind. She placed her hands against his chest, drawing closer to him. "The alternative would be your favorite pastime of taking ink and quill to write me. I know some wonderful delivery moogles that would be ecstatic to ferry letters to and fro--"

"I would sooner tear the pom from the flying rodents' fuzzy heads," Estinien interjected with a slight groan to his voice. "But very well. I see that you would sooner see me annoyed than be kept in the dark or deaf to mine doings on occasion."

They did not often speak or touch upon it. Not directly. The idea of never being able to see one another -- of losing one another -- had often been a driving force in some of their decisions. So it was sometimes danced around, joked about and made into a coping mechanism behind playful banter and teasing.

Estinien’s expression faltered when he thought of a more serious response. Sighing quietly, he conceded defeat. "I shall do what I can. I suppose if it means being able to hear your voice…then it would gladden me for the opportunity."

Nomin clapped her hands excitedly, hopping up and down on the tips of her feet as her tail arced upward. Calming herself, she took a breath and exhaled to further remove her display, though not before Estinien gave a small chuckle of his own seeing his love so animated by what felt like a simple gesture of affirmation. It was such a different aura than the two of them shared in previous years.

"Then instead of simply walking back to 'my' home, shall we return to our home?" Nomin asked with an uncontrollable grin that had spread across her face.

[feudalconnection]

The Nomination Period for the 4th Quarter 2022 Inuyasha Fandom Awards is now CLOSED!!

Hey everyone! 

Below the cut you’ll find a complete list of all the nominations received for this quarter!

Thank you to everyone who participated in this quarter for taking the time to do so. We hope you enjoyed your experience! If you do not see your nomination, please reach out to us as soon as possible! 

We strongly encourage that when you view a work of art or read a fanfiction, please reblog or leave a review to let the creators know how much their work and talent is appreciated!

The voting period will begin October 29th and end November 12th. 

In order to be able to vote, you’ll need to register so we can keep it all neat and clear. We will be posting the link to the voting form on the first day of the voting session. 

Got a question? Check out our FAQ or send us an ask. 

Message one of the mods directly: @classysassy9791 @ruddcatha @umacaking @yukinon-writes

Thank you to everyone who nominated for making this 4th Quarter absolutely wonderful, and happy voting!

NOMINATIONS Q4 2022

Best Action

“One Truth” by SugarRum (AO3) “An Adventure Through Time” by ooKuroiOokami (AO3) “The Crimson Hero” by CrimsonInu55 (FFN) “Calamity Tempest - Miko’s Melody” by ForgettableFox (AO3) “Moon Mother” by @mynightshining

Best AU/AR

“Welcome Home” by CloudsCloudlet (AO3) “I Can Quit Anything, But I Can’t Quit You” by @cannibalsforbreakfast / Laeoukka (AO3) “The Closest Moment to the Dawn” by @classysassy9791 “The Legend of the Dark Forest” by BlueZeldana (FFN) “The Art of Falling in Tandem” by @bitternovembersoul / ShikonStar (AO3) “summer’s a knife” by Shespitsfire (AO3) “The Selection Process” by @sereia1313 “Switched” by @sagemcmae “Dance With Me” by @kaoruhana08

Best Canon Universe

“Helping Hands Heal Hearts” by @dawnrider “Domestication” by littlekitsune1 (AO3) “Healing Rain” by Emmyyasha (AO3) “Clandestine” by @skyelara & @violetasteria “Falling for you” by Catzchen (AO3) “An Eternity Within Your Orbit” by Mynameishuman (DK) “An Ocean of Feelings” by Hallow777 (AO3)

Best Angst

“Haunted” by @witchygirl99 “The Soul in the Beast’s Eyes” by @neutronstarchild & @ruddcatha “With All My Love, Kagome” by @heynikkiyousofine “a call to motion” by @lutelyre “Too Little, Too Late” by Dea_Luna_Leigh (AO3) “The Progenitor” by @moon-ion / thetroll (AO3) “Izon Sho” by Anyara (FFN) “The Bond” by Wonderbug (AO3)

Best Dark

“Could we write our own story?” by @ruddcatha “A Lust for Power” by @loveless-scribes / Loveless81 (AO3) “The Jade Stone” by @lazy8blog “Legacy” by @fandomobsessions016 “Wishes: Upon Blood and Honey” by AnuubisSilver (AO3) “I’m Here” by Catzchen (AO3) “1/3” by ProudHanyou (AO3) “Control” by Wonderbug (Ao3)

Best Drama

“The Fae Tree” by @alannada “Willow” by @lavendertwilight89 “The Price of a Wish” by @lazy8blog “Sea of Dreams” by Valgreys (AO3) “Welcome Home” by CloudsCloudlet (AO3) “Forget Me Not” by @sereia1313 “I want you to come and say everything about me” by @shade-without-color “Colosseum” by Ixaix (AO3)

Best Humor/Parody

“Just One of Those Things” by @mamabearcat “Nugs” by @roseheartwhitefox “Uncharted Territory” by @chiaztolite “Dog Bastard: A Heavy Metal Dark Fairytale” by Ficcubus (AO3) “One Hanyou Too Many” by DameM (FFN) “Indecent Exposure” by Cherisenae (AO3)

Best NSFW

“Best Laid Plans” by @bitternovembersoul / ShikonStar (AO3) “Whatever You Want” by Emmyyasha (AO3) “Aluminum” by @moon-ion / thetroll (AO3) “Deep Inside of You” by vegetasprincess (AO3) “To Mate with a Hanyou” by Shnuggletea (FFN) “Uncharted Territory” by @chiaztolite “Scent and Sensibility” by Wenjohn (AO3) “Heat” by vegetasprincess (AO3)

Best One-Shot

“I Don’t Need Perfection” by @cannibalsforbreakfast / Laeoukka (AO3) “Switched” by @kagkik / marsmagari (AO3) “B-Side” by @serial-doubters-club / hakomorebi (AO3) “Best Laid Plans” by @shikonstar “It was a dark and rainy fight…” by @drosselmeyerwrites “Slip” by Mynameishuman (DK) “Duck Duck Goose” by JediMasterDarjaak (AO3) “Indecent Exposure” by Cherisenae (AO3)

Best Character Portrayal

“How to Train Your Dog Demon” (Inuyasha) by @anxietyaardvark “Supersum” (Kagome) by @elkonigin “Scars” (Inuyasha) by @inuyashasforest / Novaviis (AO3) “The Five Things Sesshomaru Didn’t Want Her to Know” (Rin) by @livinginthefifthdimension “The Progenitor” (Sesshomaru) by @moon-ion / thetroll (AO3) “Abandoned” (Kagome) by bmo_galaxy (AO3)

Best InuKag Romance

“Just for a Little While” by @fawn-eyed-girl “‘Till Death Do Us Part” by @elkonigin “The Art of Falling in Tandem” by @bitternovembersoul / ShikonStar (AO3) “Ateliere” by Cloudscloudlet (Ao3)

Best SessKag Romance “Deconstructing the Pyre” by @mrfeenysmustache / AshMish111 (AO3) “You’ve Always Belonged in the Home in my Heart” by @kaoruhana08 “Friends with the Monster” by @chiaztolite “Overcoming the past” by @valgreys “Chutes and Ladders” by Jillybean823 “Midnight Kiss” by @mynightshining

Best Romance

“treat this night like it’ll happen again” by shespitsfire (AO3) “Undertow” by @violetasteria “Moon Mother” by @mynightshining “summer’s a knife” by shespitsfire (AO3)

Best Fluff

“Keeping Score” by @neutronstarchild & @fawn-eyed-girl “Bonded by Birth” by @kawaiichan67 “Helping Hands Heal Hearts” by @dawnrider “The Way to Her Heart is Tanjiro” by @kawaiichan67 “Coffee Flavored Kisses” by ReeseBee (AO3) “Aluminum” by @moon-ion / thetroll (AO3) “kiddie crew” by Shippooo (AO3) “The Exponent of Breath” by Avert_Ye_Eyes (AO3) “Magenta Stripes” by Ixaix (AO3) “You’ve Always Belonged in the Home in my Heart” by @kaoruhana08

Best Serial

“But There Was Only One Bed” by @superpixie42 & @lavendertwilight89 “Barren” by @skyelara “Overcoming the Past” by Valgreys (AO3) “Ero” by Anyara (FFN) “The Selection Process” by @sereia1313

Best Ficlet

“On a Bridge” by @yukinon-writes “Kick” by @viva-el-belt-libre / AiyraOdessa (AO3) “Inukag Week 2022” by @cstormsinukagblog “Ride that Hellhound” by @mama-ino “Whose are softer?” by LadyoftheLemon (AO3)

Best General

“Sins Week 2022” by @alannada “The Only Constant” by @witchygirl99 “Mother Moon” by @mrfeenysmustache / AshMish111 (AO3) “More Than Blood” by @deanscarlett / InuScarlett (AO3)

Best Completed

“Life Could Be A Dream” by Dea_Luna_Leigh (AO3) “Mourning Routine” by @kstewdeux “A Dab of Desire” by Wenjohn (AO3) “The Fae and the Contract” by @cstormsinukagblog “Deconstructing the Pyre” by @mrfeenysmustache / AshMish111 (AO3) “The Exponent of Breath” by Avert_Ye_Eyes (AO3) “Calamity Tempest” by ForgettableFox (AO3) “Little Red & the Silver Beast” by @sagemcmae “Forget Me Not” by @sereia1313

Best Action

“he’s about to snap :) ❤💕” by @mysandwichranaway “Kagome” by @yumanichan “I have a type and its Demon Brothers Fighting” by @istehlurvz “Actually canon” by @starzie-sky “Kagome” by @emryshart “Warrior Inuyasha” by @thornedraven

Best AU/AR

“Stay with me until Sunrise” by @heavenin--hell “Merman Inuyasha” by @clementinesgulag “InuKag Aladdin!AU” by @kamokuash “Beneath the Weeping Wisteria” by @mama-ino​ “Go Away Dad!” by @kalcia​ “Final Conquest” by @ashleys-canvas​ “Untitled” by @heavenin--hell​ “SessKag Howl’s Moving Castle” by @weeeting​

Best Canon

“Inuyasha” by @ikirou-aah​ “Doggy” by @onixiage​ “With All My Love” by @geda-art​ “How to make a tired dog boi fall asleep” by @darcysdoodles​ “SessKagu” by @witchy-khali​ “InuKag” by @justafewsmallsteps​ “Sesshomaru” by @tobiramasimp​

Best Angst

“Inuyasha Sketch Dump (first image)” by @dari-uki​ “Untitled” by @nartistadigital​ “my heart…” by ninaplushy (IG) “Behind You” by @cherisenae​ “Sisters” by @briizer​

Best Dark

“Inuyasha Sketch Dump (first image)” by @dari-uki​ “Blood” by @shoujobees​ “作の日 の 転生” by cotta_me (TW)

Best Humor/Parody

“he’s also sloppy” by @rubbesart​ “Go Away Dad!” by @kalcia​ “Do It Yourself, Coward” by @echobows​ “Light Me A Lantern” by @nectarine500​ “Lord Sesshomaru am I serving c***?” by @unico2​ “Brothers&Sister” by @wanfnag2017​ “Untitled” by @marycrispies​

Best Kiss

“You were born to meet me, and I was born for you” by @emberfauna​ “InuKag” by @ashleys-canvas​ “Want Some Extra Cheese To Go With That Shirt?” by @mamabearcat​ “おやすみいぬかご（ちゅっ）” by mtb_umk (TW) “Into the Abyss” by @classysassy9791​ “SessKag Big Bang 2021” by @mikodaiyo​ “A hot night is dawning” by _taisana_ (TW) “Untitled” by @skittledoodles​

Best Character

“Kikyo” by @veenavalart​ “Inuyasha” by @avendell​ “Kagome Higurashi in Tactical Techwear Outfit” by @wepepe-draws​ “Shirtless Sesshomaru” by @yumanichan​ “お前だとわかっていた” by @sweepingtree​ “He looks ethereal” by kochomaii (TW) “Sesshomaru” by @razdazberry​

Best Duo/Pairing

“Sango and Kirara!” by @bishoujo-bitch​ “InuKag” by @justafewsmallsteps​ “Kaede & Inuyasha for Hidden Hanyou” by @nartista​ “First Comes Marriage” by @sayuri-watanabe​ “Pmo launch piece from April” by @elevenharbor​ “Inuyasha and Mother” by tjwjddl75 (TW) “Untitled” by @re-unknown​ “Happy Tanabata” by @shierak-inavva​ “Some Things Never Change” by @thornedraven​

Best Doujinshi

“When your kid’s imaginary friend is actually the ghost of your ex… awkwaarrd~” by @briizer​ “Inuyasha in Tokyo” by @artbiari​ “After Kagome’s Return” by HulloYokai (TW) “Two minicomics” by @marycrispies​ “Kaede and Kikyo” by @briizer​ “Once and Future Taiyokai” by @spiralofdragon​

Best Redraw

“I am the wind… the free wind” by @euwulalye​ “Inuvember Day 26” by @meldrymoon​ “Kagome” by @geda-art​ “Newly Wed InuKag” by HulloYokai (TW) “SessKagu” by @witchy-khali​

Best NSFW

“Steamy sesskagu commission” by @jisatsu-draw​ “Hot Spring” by @memilylove​ “MirSan Week Day 7: Skin/Pink” by @eliza-faust-diary​ “InuKagmasutra: Reverse Cowgirl (P2)” by Len_Barboza (TW) “Modern Era Nights” by alysssainukag (PX) “Untitled” by sayuriwatanabe7 (TW) “Too sexy for his own good” by @razdazberry​

Best Romance

“Debutante and the Dog” by @kalcia​ “Sesskagweek2022” by @elevenharbor​ “Long time since I didn’t draw this two☺️💕” by @maronnosekai​ “Teasing” by @pachworldx-1​ “Windy Hill” by @solus-thanh​ “とある夏の日の犬かご” by mtb_umk (TW)​ “This is Their Love Story Started” by @icestar1​

Best Non-Canon Pairing

“First Comes Marriage” by @sayuri-watanabe​ “Because the sun rises from the east and he’s the Lord of the West” by @sweepingtree​ “Wind&Moon” by @wanfnag2017​ “Scribby Sesskag” by @shierak-inavva​ “SessKagu” by @satoru-taisho​ “Goodbye, Lover” by @otaku-108​ “Into the Abyss” by @classysassy9791​ “SessKag Sticker” by @rin-afananditshows​

Best LGBTQ+

“modern au rin and shiori” by @dragonmickie​ “KagKik” by @kirrtash​ “Untitled” by @audrieberrie​ “Cute Girltober Day 4: Sleepover💕” by @emberfauna​ “IzaKimi” by @izakimi​

Best Group Depiction

“Excursions” by cotta_me (TW) “Thinking about Kagura” by @tmetta​ “Moroha’s Salon” by @iristars-kla​ “Untitled” by _marshiyan (TW) “Brothers&Sisters” by @wanfnag2017​ “The Beach Episode We Never Got” by @weeeting​

Best Traditional

“Surprise in my Sketchbook!” by @chanteligence​ “Pilvet väistyvät, kun tuuli suutelee kuuta. 🌬️🌙” by Haitchu (TW) “Kagome Redraw” by @beastrekindled​

Best Overall

“M'LORD! COVER UP!” by @lemonlushff​ “Thinking about Kagura” by @tmetta​ “Contest” by @amlli​ “What Could Have Been” by @thunderpot​ “俺を見ろ…” by Len_Barboza (TW) “Wind&Moon” by @wanfnag2017​ “Inuyasha and Mother” by tjwjddl75 (TW)

[originmade]

JUVIA LOCKSER - PORTRAYAL MASTER POST

Tags: Headcanons. Asks. Interactions.

This post is to cover all major canon divergences as well as any important details that are worth sharing about my portrayal of Juvia. All of these points remain no matter the verse unless stated otherwise or plotted with specific partners. I truly do not like 90% of Ma.shima's characteristics of Juvia, so she's my OC more than anything. ( also, if any of these look familiar, you probably saw them on my old juvia blog )

1 ) JUVIA IS NOT OBSESSED WITH GRAY AND DOES NOT STALK HIM!! This has always been my biggest gripe about Ma.shima's writing of Juvia, how he had boiled her down to one unhealthy obsession when she has so many important relationships and character development outside of Gray. I might make an entire separate post on this later down the line, but Juvia has a high level of gratitude and thanks towards Gray, and at first she had mistaken these emotions for love and infatuation, but upon further inspection, she realized that those weren't the true emotions she felt towards Gray. That doesn't mean Juvia isn't a hopeless romantic at heart, and would love to have a fairy tale ending with someone, but that someone isn't necessarily Gray.

2 ) Along the lines of Point 1, Juvia did not join Fairy Tail because of Gray. Her joining of Fairy Tail was actually due to Makarov extending an invitation to her following everything with Phantom Lord, which she had initially turned down, but did agree to do a small trial run of the guild. It was only after seeing how much unconditional love and support the guild members had for one another did Juvia accept his offer and join the guild.

3 ) Juvia was not present during the events of Tower of Heaven. Following Phantom Lord's disbandment, Juvia found herself in a place of heavy reevaluation on her entire life. For the first time in her life the rain clouds that followed her were gone and she didn't know what to do about it, so she began wandering and traveling, trying to find her purpose again. She never did end up a the casino where the fire fairies were and thus never got involved in the tower of heaven situation. The Tower of Heaven actually lines up with Juvia's Trial Period in Fairy Tail, still leading her to join the guild during Battle of Fairy Tail.

4 ) Juvia did participate in the S-Class trials, but she was not up for nomination. This one is a bit hard to fully explain or put into the timeline without some plotting ( probably with a Lisanna or someone else ) but I truly believe Juvia did not feel qualified enough to be nominated for an S-Class promotion, even if that was her status in Phantom Lord. She is a very proud woman and feels like she hadn't been in fairy tail long enough to be able to be nominated, and instead was happy to be someone's partner during the trial.

5 ) This one is absolutely petty, but Juvia won the Naval Battle during the GMG. Team B was robbed of many deserved victories during the GMG and I am rectifying this. I refuse to believe that an S-Class leveled mage who was widely known as the Water Element of the Element Four and had the title The Rain Woman that she would have been knocked out by being distracted. Juvia won the Naval Battle, everything else be damned.

6 ) Much like Laxus, Juvia had long term health issues following the battles against Keyes during Tartarous. Because Keyes entire being was made of Bane particles, Juvia had ended up absorbing a large portion of them when in her water body form, leaving a lasting impact on both her body and her magic. Following Tartarous, Juvia isn't able to activate her water body as easily and has to extremely limit her magic use to prevent MDS from coming into effect. Some days are much worse than others but she is having to place severe limits on her magic consumption.

7 ) This is open for adjustments and plotting, but I do still have Juvia leaving with Gray during the 1 year time skip. I am taking from my gray's canon in the fact that he told Juvia he was leaving, but didn't give many specific details about it all. Juvia does shut down about this, but mainly due to deep seated trauma about abandonment due to her childhood. Juvia's poor health upon being discovered by Natsu & Co is due to her magic over exerting itself and the lasting health issues from the bane particles.

8 ) The most important people in Juvia's life is Gajeel & the other element four. She is still actively in touch with the other three following Phantom's disbandment, and Gajeel has always been a consistent in her life, someone who she can easily refer to as her family no matter what. It takes awhile for the rest of Fairy Tail to reach that status, but she does hold most people in the guild with extremely high regards.

More shall be added / this post shall be updated when deemed necessary

[mistressheroine]

WIP Whenever

Thank you for the tag @im-immortal 💚

I'd just like to take a moment to say a massive thank you to whoever nominated me for The Moonshine Awards this year! I was blown away by how many I got and I'm so honoured to be considered amongst so many amazing writers, artists and content creators! I never thought that I would be writing fic on an almost daily basis this time last year but all the friendship and support I have recieved has meant so much to me and has given me so much confidence ❤️

I've yet to make a start on chapter 6 of Keep Me (hopefully at some point this week) as I've been focusing all my attention on my Valentine's Day fic for BHF23! So here's a little preview for Can You See Right Through Me?

“I’ll do a quick sweep upstairs, why don’t you see if there’s anything we could use.” Daryl whispered before he cautiously mounted the wooden staircase, still on high alert. Beth watched as he ascended into the shadows above, his footsteps causing the floorboards above to creak despite how lightly he was treading and she let out a sigh of relief when she heard him call that it was all clear a couple of minutes later. She ran a hand over her damp hair before removing her backpack, a cloud of dust dancing around the air as it hit the floor and began to search through the kitchen cupboards. It had been untouched, a rarity after all this time since the Turn, the crockery and glassware was all stacked up neatly inside. She found an old box of unopened crackers and a few cans of soup and beans which she laid out on the kitchen counter. It was then that she spotted a wooden box with a faded piece of paper placed neatly on the top, its edges curling and yellowing slightly from the exposure to the air and sunlight but Beth could still make out the handwritten message that had been left behind: There is always hope. Beth reached out with hesitant fingers for the note, remembering the last time they had come across shelter that was seemingly too good to be true. She heard Daryl making his way back down the stairs and towards where she stood in the semi-darkness of the kitchen, carrying a lit candle. As he came closer and cast more light across the room, Beth saw that the wooden box had an inscription carved into the lid surrounded by groups of delicately painted violets. She recognised the quotation from a long forgotten class in high school, a quote paraphrased from a Walt Whitman poem - We were together, I forget the rest. “Found some candles and a few blankets tucked away upstairs. They’re dusty but they’ll keep us warm enough if it gets any colder. I’ll get the bike covered and try to find some wood for a fire ‘fore the rain gets too heavy. What’d ya find?” Daryl asked, spotting the piece of paper she still had pinched between her fingers. Beth glanced over her shoulder at him, his face bathed in the warm glow of candlelight as he placed it beside her on the counter. Another memory flashed across her mind, another candlelit kitchen and his face bathed in warm light.  “Whoever used to live here, they left something behind for whoever came along.” Beth whispered, her throat suddenly dry as the image of his ocean blue, intense gaze across the kitchen table that night at the funeral home refused to leave her mind. She shook her head as he leant past, his arm brushing lightly against hers as he ran surprisingly delicate fingers over the lid of the wooden box. Beth unfolded the piece of paper and found a short message written inside which she proceeded to read out loud. 

I'll tag @sasusc @olpie @boltthrutheheart and anyone else who wants to share 😘

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Halestorm’s Lzzy Hale: Hard Rock ‘Has Nothing to Do With What’s Between Anybody’s Legs’

The powerhouse vocalist on championing women-led rock bands and creating a 'sanctuary' in the hit song 'The Steeple'

WHEN LZZY HALE and her band, Halestorm, were first nominated for a Grammy in 2013 — earning a Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance nod for their song “Love Bites” — the power singer found herself the only woman in a category full of dudes. (They won.) Not much seemed to have changed by 2019, when Halestorm scored their second Grammy nomination, for Best Rock Performance.

Now, however, Hale is leading a charge for women in heavy music. The group’s latest headlining tour of the U.S. featured a lineup of female-fronted bands, all of them handpicked by Hale, and her signature Gibson Explorerbird guitar has found its way into the hands of aspiring rockers of all ages. “The people at Gibson keep telling me the demographic that buys the most electric guitars right now are female,” says Hale, 39. “The wave is coming, whether anybody likes it or not.”

On the strength of the group’s fifth album, Back From the Dead, and its string of hits like “The Steeple,” “Wicked Ways,” and the title track, Halestorm are well-positioned to score their latest nomination and prove once and for all that hard rock is genderless.

The album Back From the Dead sounds like it was made for the stage, which is ironic considering it was recorded during a time when live concerts were nearly extinct. We had no idea what the future held: “Is the record going to come out? Are the fans going to like it? Is the label going to like this song and think it’s a hit?” The silver lining of the future being unknown was we could be selfish and say that none of that matters right now. I feel like some of the heaviness of the record and the full-speed-ahead mentality came from that.

What we learned in that process is that’s the only way to do it, the right way and the most fulfilling way. This is a career now, and there’s a lot of people with their fingers in the pie and people talking in your ear and a lot of pressure outside of where you started. And I started in my parents’ living room, where you could do whatever you wanted.

“The Steeple” was a Number One rock song for Halestorm, and it just feels like a Grammy nominee. Why do you think it resonates with your fans? A lot of people talk about the safe space and the unity of a rock show and that feeling you get. We were trying to re-create that sanctuary. That magic resonates with people, and they may not even know how to describe it. But you saying the words that they feel is a call to arms, a display of community.

“It stopped raining in my head today” is the opening line because of a time when we were in Nashville and I had the post-tour blues. We had three weeks off, and I was bummed for no reason. [Halestorm guitarist Joe Hottinger] suggested, “Hey, let’s go see a show.” We did, and I could feel the cloud lifting. It’s hard to explain, but that’s what we were trying to celebrate with “The Steeple.”

When Halestorm were first nominated for a Grammy, in 2013, you were the only woman in the category. That’s true. And we were the new kids then, too. Not only was I the only female, but we were also the only new rock band. All these bands that were nominated with or against us were people we were influenced by. And that inspired us. We really had nothing prepared, because we were like, “Dude, we’re not going to win this.” It was a complete surprise when we did.

Then, there was this joke going around, because I know a bunch of the Megadeth guys and a couple of the other nominees, and they were all joking about how “Lzzy stole our Grammy.” I was in an interview with Eddie Trunk one time, on That Metal Show, and he had a couple of the losers of the Grammys as guests and he had me pop in [via video] just to make that comment. But if it wasn’t for those [bands], we probably wouldn’t have even written “Love Bites.”

You made it a mission to bring along only female-led bands, like the Warning, on Halestorm’s most recent tour. Why is that important to you? It’s such a beautiful place, to be in a position where you can pass the torch. It seems not that long ago I was on the other side of that coin, hungry and fighting to get attention. The point of bringing these young women up and giving them a platform is: I am truly inspired. Watching Dany, lead guitarist for the Warning every night, I’m hungry again because of her. It comes full circle. The genre has nothing to do with what’s between anybody’s legs, but it’s important for us to talk about it because these young women are going to be able to see themselves reflected in one of us.

[sam-glade]

Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday! Does your WIP have any large cities in it? If so, what are they like?

Hi Jeb, Happy WBW!

Which city should I pick... Redguard! Map for reference.

It's the central hub of the plot of The Prince's Shadow (Days of Dusk book 2), and where the Central Command of the Army is located, and where a good portion of Swords are stationed.

The city is in the very middle of the Five Princedoms, sprawling over the Otterly River. On the west bank, there are uniform redbrick barracks, divided into a sector for each division - you'll recognise them by their symbols incorporated into the iron-wrought gates and windvanes. Each one also has a belltower that would ring in alarm.

To the edges, stadiums and training fields pop up like mushrooms after the rain. You'll see Swords drilling there - not in uniform ranks, but far apart, so that their powers don't affect bystanders.

Let's take a walk down the Chestnut Promenade, which bisects it East to West, a wide street lined with ancient chestnut trees on both sides. Their rows separate pavements from the heavy traffic of horses and carriages down its middle.

The complex occupied by the Central Command is at the heart of the military district. It's the oldest part of the city, though the newer barracks imitated its style.

Then, the road will take us to the Gateway Isle, and to the north side of the road, you'll see a ring of ten gateway arches next to a smaller buildings with engineers on duty. This is the main hub for gateway travel, a luxury available only to people Gifted by Fate, and in reality only to Army personnel.

On the other side of the river, sprawl the civilian quarters, the heart of which is the city hall. While nominally the First Princedom's capital is the City of Light, further to the West, Prince Atterius the White Dragon, Anthea's predecessor, has moved all the proceedings here for convenience.

The civilian quarters are not uniform at all, with houses plastered in bright colours that can just about stand up to the soot and smoke that is deposited by them from burning coal for heating and gas for lighting.

This part of the city grew more organically, and you can spend ages exploring it, discovering pretty little squares carved out of the corners of the housing blocks, parks of varying sizes, tea houses, and such.

The buildings get less grand as we proceed further East - they turn smaller, less decorated, offering cheaper accommodation. There, at the eastern edge of the city, the first steam-powered factory is under construction, which promises innovation in the textile industry.

[totalmtb]

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[yakuzadog]

12, 35, 36, and 61!

aaah thanks cj!

(these are for this gaming ask game)

12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played?

first game that comes to mind is hatoful boyfriend lmao (and Not for the reason you'd think; i Totally signed on to play a bird dating sim :D i just. wasn't expecting the Plot Twist...)

35. Best protagonist?

i'm prob forgetting someone special but one of my fave protags who i will always love and stan is tidus from final fantasy x <3 i love him he's a very good main character pls listen to his story

36. Best antagonist?

also prob forgetting someone cool but for this i will nominate claudia wolf from silent hill 3! bc she's strangely alluring despite her oddities and cruelty. and it isn't hard to sympathize w her by the end... also i quite like her design for its strangeness and also her voice actress did a wonderful performance!

61. A game you know everything about?

gaah i used to be able to do this kind of thing with games All the time back in the day but it basically never happens w me anymore and my hyperfixations... my memory is just too bad or my motivation is to low to explore and learn about every single detail that there is to know about a series. so... my answers for this will be outdated unfortunately.

i think prob the most notable answer i have for this is... heavy rain. i uhh... was a bit obsessed w the game a few years after it came out (its genre was Made for me but unfortunately quantum dream was rlly the only dev putting these kinds of games out for a while so... yeah... i didn't have many alternative options at the time). i completed an embarrassingly high number of full playthroughs... def at least 12. i knew every outcome to every decision, got every possible ending (i did not save scum them either... full playthrough for each ending), knew all the secrets, best lines and scenes, listened to the ost nonstop, memorized the game's timeline... just everything. sigh.

other noteworthy games i knew (and prob still know) a lot about are disaster report/raw danger and kingdom hearts 1