#nobody will enjoy hearing it but i genuinely relate to him so much

[ashfurb]

long time no see. guess what arc i started reading

[auroreliis]

Hey there, I hope I'm not spamming your blog too much

Also long ask ahead I'm sorry

I would actually enjoy the idea of Batfam with a reader who tried to impress them/ bond with them trough their hobbies

Normally it's only done in neglect fics(no hate to those I love them) and id love to see the reaction in a more fluffy scenwrio

Dick? Reader shows up to every single a acrobatics completion he takes and cheer for him the loudest , and one day come up to dick and show him they won first place in an acrobatics competitons turns out reader has been practicing in secret to impress dick

Jason? Reader constantly exchanges books with recommendations with him, and pays full attention when they rant about how good/bad a book is, one day reader shily approaches him and offers him a book they wrote and published themselves

Cass?(Warning I know nothing about ballet) Reader always tries to get her tickets to shows she's interested in, and even gets her meet and greets/autograph with her favorite dancers, one day reader offer her a single ticket for a new shows , with the excuse that they could only get that, and turns out that reader is actually the main dancer in the show

And obviously with Damian reader is often with him when he paint, and if damian feels like talking, they ask him about what methods he's using and what "vision" he has for his painting, eventually reader ask him to judge their paintings.

(im skipping Steph and Tim, because

The ask is getting too long and because with Tim, his hobby is genuinely investigating mysteries, so that'd s bit complicated since it's mostly vigilante related work,and I don't remember if Steph has a Really specific hobbie that reader can try, she's would just be happy to spend time with them)

Hey! No worries about spamming :)

If you're trying hard to get along with them, then they get very excited and that leads to fluffy scenarios!

Dick would love to do acrobatics with you and he would make for a great mentor. Usually, Dick is known for being annoying, but this is only when you don't engage enough with him. However, when you do engage with him, he becomes a regular, affectionate older brother.

After you finish your daily acrobatic training, he usually carries you to your room and brings you whatever you want. Water? Of course, right away! Food? Alfred's already making it! You want him to put a film on? Yes, hopefully you don't mind him watching it too :)

Jason adores the fact that you like his recommendations when it comes to books. It's not that nobody else in the manor thinks his suggestions are good, it's just that he most values your opinion.

His favourite moments are when you and him are sitting in the library during the evening, drinking hot chocolate and reading books. Neither of you are talking, but the silence is comfortable. Sometimes, he stop reading to look over at you, but you don't notice, because you're so immersed in the story. He probably looks for more books to recommend to you, intending to sit in the library in silence again.

Tim has many hobbies and many hobbies that you are unable to take part in. However, Tim makes it quite easy to spend time with him. For example, watching films with him is something he suggests often. Somehow, Tim always know what you want to do without needing to hear you say it, so if a new show came out, he immediately runs to you and asks if you want to binge it with him.

Watching shows isn't the only thing you two do, though. Tim also enjoys talking to you about anything. You have a new hyperfixation? Tim is the FIRST person you have to tell, because he probably also has the same hyperfixation lol. Somehow, the two of you resonate on every possible level and that makes any mundane activity entertaining if both of you are present.

Stephanie didn't know what to say when you asked her to play the piano for you, but she couldn't just refuse, so she played for you. You can imagine her delight when you asked her to teach you how to play. It takes a while to learn to play the piano, but that just means she gets to spend more time with you :)

Cassandra is delighted to hear that you like ballet as much as she does. She would practice ballet with you and plan choreographies to challenge you a bit. Whenever a show worth watching came up, she would be the first to buy tickets for the two of you.

Much like with Jason, Cassandra is also comfortable with sitting in silence. She doesn't need to have a conversation with you to feel seen by you, just being in the same room is enough for her.

Painting with Damian has become a regular afternoon activity for you, though by "painting with", I mean "getting painted by", because as much as Damian believes in your ability to make great paintings, he sees something in you that makes you the perfect muse. Whenever he paints you, his paintings end up being brighter, they make his other paintings look bleak in comparison.

He finds himself adding some of your charm to other paintings. Whenever he paints a landscape, it looks empty without your favourite flowers in the field. If he paints a room in the manor, he adds some of your objects, perhaps your sweater is hanging over a chair in the corner, or your headphones are on the table in the living room. Now he is unsatisfied with every painting that doesn't have a hint of your presence in it.

[huggywuggysuppy]

once you finish Empires S1 i'd like to hear your thoughts about esmp1!gem. she's genuinely one of my favorite characters to analyse because she is so nuanced and interesting in so many ways anywhere you look at her. her twisted determination to achieve peace at ANY cost, her rigid thinking and neurodivergency, her relation with symbols like her tower or the end and the moon, or her genuine wish to be a good person and so many other things. there's so much that is impossible to grasp at first (<- <- me, lesbian who is really normal about her favorite gem)

She's right.

Essentially, Gem understands the role a wizard PLAYS in a story. She's never the cause of something, but she sure amplifies both the problems and the solutions. She's morally gray, she's playing both sides, but nobody ever challenges her on that because of course Gem's helping the heroes too -- they need artifacts! She's a plot device, a questgiver, a weapon. She's the voice of reason, the straight man in any comedy duo, yet makes the same questionable decisions as anyone. She's experimenting, she's out of her comfort zone, she's having the time of her life. Wizard Gem is, ultimately, a real wizard.

That's the short answer anyhow. Longer analysis, well, I'm so glad you asked. I can't talk about character without diving into the content creator metanarrative (feature not a bug) so let's get into the noodles! What about Wizard Gem makes her so fantastic?

Wizard Gem is a catalyst.

From the beginning, Gem is mixing up dynamics and forcing new inspiration by opposing what's static. The way the rest of the Wither Rose Alliance sort of? Molds? Around her. How Sausage and fWhip are beefing until the day she alliances with Pearl and suddenly the four are besties. How she adds moral nuance to the villain side, both by mixing relations with the hero side, and just by insisting the Wither Rose are seeking peace, really, they're trying their best! This stops things from being so cut and dry and basic. Instead of Xornoth's vain forces against the heroic bumbling fish people (with the plant and animal empires in between), there's all sorts of messiness and drama. And Gem's aware of this, of how she's changing things, and so the effect is amplified.

On a CC level, even her origins are experimental. Gem was originally planning a more naturey plant wizard, but since Shubble, Katherine, AND Pearl, were plant based (& arguably Joey too) she adapted into amethyst and rocks. And it turned out amazing! That foundation of experimenting made it easier to take larger risks both content and character wise. All the empires folk enjoyed the lore centric storytelling: only getting deeper into it through the season, but Gem especially paved the way for embracing rp and outfits and items and fun.

But back to C! As the Wither Rose alliance progresses, terrorizing the server included, Gem maintains her peace loving stance. Taking on the role as fWhip's (and later Sausage)'s PR managers is genuinely so important to me. She never really stops them from doing bad things, but she's always discouraging them and talking them down one or two degrees. Ultimately loyal to her alliance, she's also taking responsibility for the consequences. Helping out Jimmy behind the scenes to lessen the blow, both for him but also herself.

At her core, Wizard Gem wants peace.

For herself and friends at least. Unfortunately, the Crystal Cliffs aren't in a bubble, so she keeps having to save the world anyway. She dreads conflict at best and fears it at worst. Her concerns are her kingdom, her neighbors, whatever magic / building she's invested in right now, and maybe a light shenanigan here or there. She'll help fWhip get out of trouble because they really do love each other, he's always helping her out too in his own ways (ex: making her stuff,) and she'll protect the realm so the problems stay far away from their doorsteps. When things do eventually fall into her lap, she definitely deals with them. Just... not 100%. Enough that they stop breaking the peace for now.

Let's be honest, Wizard Gem is firmly in denial. She's down for burying the corruption and letting it claim whole towers of her base. Often she'll just accept whatever another player brings to her: buying Scott and Katherines plush, whatever weird scams Lizzie tries on her, etc. When Scott gives her the Elsa curse, she hangs out in the nether, takes Shrub’s dodgy Xornoth cure, and stubbornly "it's fine"-s her way through avoiding a real solution until fWhip drags her to Katherine. It's telling that her (short-lived) corrupted evil version is more confident, while others become hyper or angry. This isn't laziness: it's fear. She doesn't want to step on any toes and start any conflicts. You can see it in how she talks to Jimmy and fWhip: giving them what they need not to win, but to end things.

This is how Gem maintains the story role of a wizard: she's always trying to stop things, so she's never starting new things, only making them better or worse. But how does Gem get away with it? She's simultaneously one of the most invested players in the lore, yet playing a character who'd rather be anywhere else. That dichotomy is entertaining, sure, but there's something else here.

Wizard Gem is loyal, curious, and moral. Just... not obviously.

Gem is unfathomably loyal. While she plays both sides, she's always standing alongside her allies in battle and all her actions are ensuring they're safe. She may be exasperated, yet treats her immediate alliance members with kindness. How fWhip drags her into things, but he never asks her to, it's always Gem CHOOSING to follow him because what else is she gonna do? Let him do it himself? How Sausage makes her laugh with his absurdity, even when they're fighting. How she's always a little uncomfortable, even in her great empire, except in the quiet simple moments with her allies between schemes.

(Still can’t believe roseblings isn’t canon. Like fWhip’s line about how he blew up relations with Scott because he messed with Gem, "it's okay fWhip I'm fine now," their tones, ohhhh devious work. They don't need to be canon, nonfamilial platonic relationships and all that, but STILL. I'm only human.)

Gem's also invested in magic and learning more about it, and she learns to trust and share that with others. The Crystal Cliffs Academy demonstrates growth: from solving problems herself when they’re too big to ignore, to actually addressing things at the source. Explicitly, the goal is to strengthen other empires magic knowledge so less crises happen. That’s preventative instead of reactionary. Even choosing the Ocean Queen as her first student is intentional: not an ally, causes a lot of medium scale ruckuses, in text Gem sensed her using transformation magic that wasn’t hers and wanted to guide Lizzie towards at least controlling it. Start of season Gem would’ve just kept handling any crises herself.

Essentially, Gem is trying SO HARD to be good. As anon said, she has a sort of rigid thinking (again, fun contrast between CC experimental and C rigidity) that creates this fantastic mix where she's staying true to the Wither Rose because she loves them and wants to keep them safe as their friend, but also trying to act for the greater good as a wizard, even though she'd rather focus on her own things. It's not a stable point of view, and is constantly challenged, creating the amazing series of events that we get to see unfold.

Also, Wizard Gem is straight up cool.

Regarding imagery, Wizard Gem has a distinct style that’s so fun to build and draw and write about. She's magical and otherworldly (dragons, the end) but also ethereal and magnificent on a human scale (towers, the moon.) Amethyst itself is inherently unique: something about forming deep under pressure, growing slow and beautiful, sought after as thrones and paths alike. These aesthetics have infinite storytelling potential, and look cute doing it.

And all these things are carried into Gem’s imagery as a whole! Losing her eye to and getting corrupted by the end portal in Life Series, building dragons and towers and villages all across her mc worlds, often using the moon in builds like her hc10 lighthouse. She’s solidly the moon in shinyduo sun/moon dynamic (while they both employ sun/moon all the time, Pearl builds and lores solidly more sun, let alone their comedy dynamic.) Even the struggle between embracing/chasing excellence versus holding herself back out of fear: that's Gem in every world! Emp1 is combining a lot of Gem's themes into one single character. And turns out she's really awesome!

This character wholeness lets Gem maintain her signature exasperated excellence over the other players. Like PVP prowess and building skill, she's an expert here too, and delightful to watch and interact with. Wizard Gem is amplifying everything, trying to keep her loved ones safe, learning that she needs to make peace herself, all while staying true to her beautiful masterful self.

Finally, CC!Gem is delighted to roleplay like this.

Every time she turns to the camera to give disclaimers and talk about her character, there's an infectious joy and "I can't believe this is my job." She often compares it to D&D, which ohh the parasocial brainrot is taking so normally, but also there's an unapologeticness to it. If you don't like her character / the roleplay / etc, stop watching, whatever, this is fun for the rest of us. Her and other CCs have talked about the crippling pushback from playing antagonistic characters -- and there's no shortage of that in emp1, she has to put disclaimers on the RP portions! But unlike Life Series where she's constantly fighting demons (it's own post, really) Wizard Gem is having too much fun to care. I think that's why emp1 hits different, at least for us Gem girlies. She's taking this seriously, and she's having the time of her life.

I originally posted about Worldhopper/Watcher Gem because that adds an extra layer of spice to her in all series, but it's still really awesome by itself. Summoning the dragons from ANOTHER WORLD? Hello?? Don't think I missed her using the nether portal to change skins either. Giggling during convos with Xornoth, undaunted by the Empires Crown, the list goes on. One day someone will assemble all her characters into the same room to compare notes and that someone will either be me or Geminitay herself.

In short, Empires S1 Gem is a Wizard. She's a catalyst, she ultimately wants peace, she's loyal curious and moral, she's straight up cool, and she's having fun. And isn't that just the most magical joy of all?

Anyway, accepting empires fic recommendations in reblogs / directly into my inbox. What a privilege to get to watch so much great art. Thank you for reading!

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

Companions react to Sole being related to them genetically? The Synths,Codsy, Strong, and Dogmeat obviously don’t count.

Thank you so much for the request! 💙💛 Hopefully y'all enjoy these! 🥰

Edit: In the original version, I posted this thing early and forgot to put Preston's react 🤦‍♀️ But I reckon sometimes idiot attacks happen, y'all 🤷‍♀️ But here it is fixed now.

Cait - Is thrown off terribly and doesn't know how to respond at first, but some deep part of her is awfully pleased to have an even deeper connection to F!Sole. She's Cait's hero and to have even a shred of F!Sole's DNA within her is the highest honor Cait can think of. However, she will proceed to make some manner of joke about it and try to blow it off just a little, but if they are in private, she will explain her genuine feelings on it.

Piper - Is honestly overjoyed, and immediately starts trying to track the family tree and find out exactly where in the line of ancestry that F!Sole falls. She just knows that F!Sole has to be related to her on her dad's side. Her Blue is too much like him in that she's always saving people and doing the right thing even at the risk of her own life. Piper is proud to be related to her and while she already calls Blue her family, she now says it even more.

MacCready - Is not sure what to say. He did not think he really had any family besides Duncan, but he is glad to have F!Sole. She is definitely one of the best people he could think of to have as far as family goes. If she has not yet met Duncan, MacCready introduces her as Duncan's aunt. After all, it's a bit more simple than explaining that this obviously younger woman is some manner of potential great, great, great, great, great, great aunt or something.

Deacon - Is sort of thinking that she is messing with him at first, but he ends up rolling with it without too many questions. He tells everyone at Railroad HQ that she's his long lost relation and now he goes around telling everyone that she's his grandma now despite her looking to be as young as him. He even has started calling her grandmother as a joke, and he sometimes puts on a silly, almost British voice as he says it.

Hancock - Is pretty surprised, and proceeds to make some joke about knowing that calling her "sister" always felt right to him. He doesn't know how exactly she is related, but he guesses that he must have somehow gotten his sense of patriotism and justice from her since she was one of those Pre-War law and order people or whatever. He is really pleased and now he puts out word that if anyone in Goodneighbor even glances at her wrong that they're going to die. Nobody messes with his family, no matter how far in the past that they had been from. Especially not her, though.

Preston - Is shocked to hear that he is related to the general, but he is nevertheless happy to hear it. He now knows that he came from greatness and to be related to the woman that is now the leader of Minutemen everywhere is a great honor and he is very proud of it. However, he tries not to tell people too much because he does not want them to accuse her or him of showing favoritism toward each other in their professional lives.

[spacemagictea]

The Meaning of Your Name

After the previous part I immediately set out to writing this part, which is what I wanted to write the most from the stories about the two lovebirds.

Enjoy part 3 of Eye of the Storm, story of Amir Beckett and Kaylessa the Drifter.

Fluff and cheese inbound.

The Meaning of Your Name

May 15th, 1999

Last few weeks have been fairly calm for the Hex, effective strikes against purge squads leaving Scaldra command no other choice than to lick their wounds and recruit new members for the meat grinder. This gave Kaylessa more time to spend with the rest of the Hex, and she considered all of them her genuine friends. But nobody else she enjoyed spending more time with than with Amir. Whether it was her talking about her favorite animals and plantlife she read about in books stolen from an abandoned bookstore while he was playing games in the arcade or him visiting her in her cozy backroom, showing her movies, cartoons and comics he loved or talking about tech in general, the closeness and spark between them was something she could not deny. They were truly open and vulnerable with each other like with nobody else, talking about their experiences, their nightmares, their joys and their sadness.

And after the situation that almost got Amir captured, Kaylessa could swear she’s been purposefully assigned to missions with him and with him only. And that was not helped with the fact whenever she came to visit Arthur and Aoi and Eleanor were present, the women gave her knowing looks and smiles.

For months her feelings towards the Hex tech specialist grew. He was so much more than a friend. And yet, she lacked the courage to admit her feelings to his face for far too long. No more. It reached a boiling point for her that she had to finally confess, no matter the response. Pondering how to confess, the Drifter decided to pay Eleanor a visit. And she had an idea in mind.

-Hey Ellie. Since you’re a writer I was wondering if I could ask you a question that’s a bit… language related?- while she asked the question mostly to see if she could find a hook for asking out Amir, she was genuinely curious about the languages of the Old World too.

‘Color me curious, Kay. I do know a little bit of this and that, comes with the profession.’ Eleanor’s mind voice sounded very amused and she gave Kay a knowing look that caused the red haired woman to blush.

-Do names have… meaning in the Old World? Let me explain with an example, perhaps. There’s a Warframe, named Dagath, whose name has a long story to it. And her name means “the mirror that accuses”. She also has a ghost steed named Rakhali whose name means “freshness-after-rain”.- Kay tilted her head with a smile. -Yes, there’s a certain purpose to this question but I’m actually curious.

‘I’d definitely like to hear that story. Yes, they do, though there probably isn’t any magic to it. For example, Lettie’s name means “happiness, joy”. Aoi means “blue.” Quincy’s name probably comes from “five” in Latin. Arthur’s name comes from an ancient legendary king, while mine’s of French origin, but I don’t know the exact meaning.’ 

Kay could feel the purposeful suspense for the name she wanted to hear the most.

-What about Amir?- the mention was enough to bring heat to her cheeks.

‘That one means “prince” or “commander”. How romantic of him to… command your heart like that.’ - an honest laughter filled Kay’s mind and she was also quite amused at the joke, giggling in response while pretending to be embarrassed.

-Eleanor! Well, you aren’t wrong. Yes, that’s exactly what I was looking for. Now, let me tell you that story in return for this favor- Drifter frankly itched to tell the full story as she found it fascinating so all in all, it was a great time for her.

After a joyful storytime, she headed for Aoi’s music store that was also her room. She was greeted with the sight of Aoi folding beautiful metal cranes. Seeing a pile of these cranes nearby, she looked in awe at the graceful craft.

-Hey, Kay, what’s up?- Aoi’s greeting broke the Drifter off the train of thought and she smiled awkwardly, looking up to meet Aoi’s eyes.

-Hey, Aoi. I was wondering if I could get some… guidance?- Kay purposefully toned down her voice, as if a bit afraid Amir would hear them from the arcade. -It’s about… Amir.

-Ah, sweets, you finally worked up the courage?- Aoi matched the Drifter’s low tone, making her feel like she was a part of the conspiracy. -If you ask me, just be honest. Wear your heart on your sleeve, just like he does.

Kay nodded, as if she realized this was the most obvious thing that she just… didn’t think of.

-Yeah… you’re right. I think I’ve just been afraid of rejection the entire time, but I cannot hold it anymore. So I’ll go and be honest, regardless of what the answer is.- Kay remarked, the response sinking in fully and then giving her friend a cheerful grin -Before I head to meet my fate, why don’t you show me what new tracks you’ve found recently?

—

Sun was starting to set over Höllvania when Kaylessa left Aoi’s music store, filled with glee over time spent with her friends. She took a deep breath as she stood in front of Amir’s arcade, knowing it was time to take this final step. Whatever happened, she hoped that it wouldn’t change her relationship with Amir for worse.

Heart pounding, she entered. Seeing Amir particularly focused on the Caliber Chicks 2 cabinet, she decided to not disturb his focus and wait for him, leaning against the wall near the entrance and watching him play. The dim lights highlighted his sleek face and it felt like the most beautiful thing in existence. Looking at him felt like a balm to her heart and a smile sprang on her face.

After a while, a Game Over screen flashed on the screen and Amir looked up, his focus breaking off from the screen. Feeling a presence, he glanced to the side and saw Kaylessa, who in her usual “don’t want to disturb you” way stood there waiting for him to finish his game round. His heart skipped a beat, a spark in her green eyes showing up as their gaze met. He utterly adored her sweet and gentle nature, her endless patience with him, how she selflessly tried to take care of everything and everyone… and yet, she seemed to neglect herself so often. And beneath it all there was a capable and strong woman, a survivor, an embodiment of “don’t judge a person by the first look”.

-I hope my favorite chronospatial freakshow was not waiting for me too long!- he turned towards her, quite excited she was here wanting to spend time with him.

-I can wait as long as I need to, Amir.- Kay giggled, standing up and stepping a bit closer. -I’ve got something to… tell you?

-I’m all ears.- Amir tilted his head but he could feel his heart beating faster now. The air between them was electrifying, not in a literal sense, but it felt like it could be. He knew this was something big.

-Well… I don’t think it’s any secret that I care about you a lot. But…- she put her hand on her chest where the heart is, looking down to regain her composure before meeting his eyes again, her cheeks blazing hot and red.  -What I want to say is that I care about you more than as a friend. Will you be my prince, Amir? Can I give you command of my heart?- His eyes widened in shock and surprise, a blush springing up on his face too.

‘Gods, could I be more embarrassingly cheesy?’ Kay thought to herself, expecting that she completely fumbled, but what she saw instead was elated disbelief.

-Oh wow, oh-oh wow.- Amir stood still and yet it seemed like he’s going to start running around at any moment in pure excitement. And that encouraged the Drifter to push her words in further.

-I love you, Amir Beckett. I want you and me… to be us.- her heart now wanted to jump out of her and waiting for his response, however brief, felt like an eternity.

-M-me? Really? U-us? Oh… Ohh…YES!- the enthusiastic response finished with Amir leaping towards Kaylessa and taking her into a tight embrace faster than she could even blink. She sighed with relief, wrapping her arms around him too. And as her brain was trying to process everything, she was swept off her feet as he effortlessly picked her up and spun around with her before placing her back down and leaned towards her ear, his voice now a whisper. -I love you too, Kaylessa. I love you too, my sweet angel from the future.

He picked her up again, speeding over to the terrace atop the mall. Warm sunset rays cast their gleam over the pair as Amir gently placed Kaylessa back on her feet and pulled her closely, taking off his glasses. He leaned his forehead on hers, Kay running her hand through his hair. Their hearts soared, her green eyes locked in with his grey eyes. He cupped her cheek and the world felt like it stopped as their lips met. At first softly, like the beams of Sol shining on them, the kiss got deeper and more insistent as their yearning, their need for each other they held onto for such a long time surfaced and bubbled over.

When they finally broke the kiss, quietly gasping out each other’s names, Amir broke the silence, his eyes filled with loving excitement. 

-This… This is everything I dreamed about butIdidnotdarehopeitcouldbearealityandyet… here you are.

-I am not even sure why I was so afraid of telling you. But I couldn’t be happier that I finally did. Granted, it took a lot of encouragement from Eleanor and Aoi.- Kay’s response made them both laugh before they turned their heads to watch the last rays of the setting Sol, wrapped in each others’ embrace. And all felt right in the world now.

[brainworms-dot-com]

Project Eden's Garden chapter 1 spoilers:

Ok, so I've only made it past the investigation, and I haven't seen the trial yet, so this opinion is likely to change, but can I just say Wolfgang is by far my least favorite character so far?

Like, I think it's his ego and how unchecked it is that pisses me off. He clearly sees himself as better and more fit to lead than everyone else, and yet nobody challenges that belief. And the thing that really sucks is he is not a good leader. The fact that he keeps denying the concept that anyone could kill is exactly what led to his death. And I think Jean weirdly makes me more angry at Wolfgang because Jean is an example of a genuinely good leader. When he takes charge, things go well. Because he is a captain. His job is to lead, and he should be in charge, as opposed to Wolfgang. So, seeing an actual good leader compared to him makes him look even worse in my eyes. And the fact that despite all that, the entire group seems to follow him anyways because of his charisma and likability? Honestly, Damon is an asshole, but I couldn't help but feel his frustration.

Then again, maybe this could change, I haven't seen the trial yet, so maybe there'll be a big reveal that'll completely recontextualize him in my eyes, but for now, he's my least favorite. In fact, here's a ranking with explanations:

17: Wolfgang Akire, I just explained why

16: Kai Monteago, he's just so whiny and bitchy and annoying, and I accidentally gave him the same voice I gave Jimmy from Mouthwashing, so....

15: Damon Maitsu, even though I said I could relate to his frustrations with Wolfgang, he's still an asshole.

14: Cassidy Amber, I am shockingly neutral on Cassidy. I don't hate her, but I can't say I have any particularly strong feelings on her.

13: Ulysses Wilhelm, similar to Cassidy, I'm fairly neutral on him, but unlike Cassidy, I gave him a voice that is very fun for me to do, like a nerdy quiet voice with a lisp, it's fun. (Btw, you can see my playthrough of the prologue on brainwormsdotcom on YouTube, I love shameless self promotion)

12: Mark Berskii, he's just a chill guy, plus, similar to Wilhelm, I gave him a voice I have a lot of fun doing.

11: Desmond Hall, I don't have much to say about him, he's just a genuinely nice guy. Like, I could see myself hanging out with him in real life. It's nice to have a normie among this sea of wackos.

10: Wenona, so far, she hasn't done much, but I'm putting her here preemptively, because she is on track to be one of my favorite characters. I love mean women, what can I say?

9: Diana Venicia, I was pretty neutral on her in the prologue, but she has climbed the ranks, and I genuinely enjoy her character a lot. She's just so genuinely nice. Like, to a heartwarming degree.

8: Jett Dawson, unfortunate last name aside, he's just funny. Like, that's my reason for him being this high. He makes me laugh. His stupid Scooby-Doo ass laugh makes me giggle every time.

7: Eloise Taulner, I don't have a justification for this spot, I just think she's neat

4: Grace Madison, since the prologue, I've loved her. she's so fun, energetic, I love mean women as I've said before, and honestly, 3rd favorite voice to do.

6: Toshiko Kayura, she's probably the character I have the second most fun doing the voice for (the first is coming up), I love her sassy energy and dramatic personality, and I also like how the game doesn't let you forget she's just a kid, and she acts how a kid would act in her situation.

5: Tozu, I hear you asking why I'm ranking Tozu and not Mara, and to that I say Mara is a non-character as of now. She has done 1 thing (remember I haven't played the trial, so I still need to do that). Anyway, back to Tozu. Dramatic theater kid ass. I love doing is voice, it's so fun, plus hot hot man sorry for being icnorehenehr I'm just so Tozu pilled

3: Ingrid Grimwall, two words; muscle mommy

2: Jean Delamer, as I've said, he is objectively a better leader than Wolfgang, and he just has this infectious sense of optimism that I can't help but love. Every time he talks, I can't help but smile. Plus he has a boob window.

1: Eva Tsunaka, her character did not go the way I thought she would. Never in my life did I expect her to be the ultimate Mathelete. I'm like, actually losing my mind about that. But honestly, it really endeared me to her. Especially since I did her free time events, I just really got attached to her. If she ever dies, I might vomit. I'm in love.

Anyway, that's it, bye.

[j0elmill3r]

Wish You Were Here (I); Shine On You Crazy Diamond

"Nobody knows where you are, how near, how far"

Pairing - Joel Miller x Daughter!reader, Tommy Miller x Niece!Reader, Ellie Williams x Miller!Reader (Platonic)

Summary - Witnessing your fathers' demise at the hands of the daughter of a man he killed saving your best friend, you realize your crusade for revenge for your fathers brutal death is bound to be a bloody one.

Warnings - Diverges from canon, spoilers for the last of us part 2, canon violence, death, mentions and implications of suicide (Please let me know if I missed any!)

Word Count - 3k

A/N - Here is an introduction to my new series! It's gonna be split into 4 parts, all titled in relation to the Pink Floyd album - Wish You Were Here. I hope everyone enjoys this, as always, feedback is always appreciated with reblogs, likes and comments! This is also such a divergence from canon it's genuinely unbelievable.

Joel Miller Masterlist

Growing up smack bam during a global pandemic was not all it had cracked up to be. You weren't old enough to remember the world before the infection had ruined it, being only 3 years old at the beginning of the pandemic meant you had no recollection of your life before this world - It also mean that you had no memories of your older sister, Sarah. Joel, however, told you stories of your older sister, how much she loved you and how at every birthday, she used her wish to beg for a little sister.

You were incredibly close to your father - Despite how tough he was on you as you started getting older, you knew he was just looking out for you, teaching you essential survival skills that you would need if you wanted to live in this new, dangerous world. But even though he was tough on you, you still saw his softer and father like self. He took care of you when you were sick, told you shitty jokes when you were sad just so he could see you smile - You were the reason he missed his shot. You had walked in on his room as he held his gun to his head, fear displayed on your small face, causing him to move his hand away as his hand acted before his fingers, pulling the trigger and narrowly missing his skull. The hearing in his right ear had completely depleted, but you were crying blue murder, and your dad was the only person who could console you - He was all you had and he wanted to leave you all on your own. Which was why you took it so personally when someone had informed you of the trouble that your dad, uncle, and best friend were in.

The place was silent as you quietly made your way down the long halls of the mansion you found yourself in, following the noise to a specific room, to which the door was left slightly ajar - which should have been your first red flag. It was like someone wanted you to go to that room specifically for whatever reason. Ignoring your gut instinct, you crept towards the door which was partially open, but before you could take in what was in the room, you let out a scream as you were suddenly tackled to the floor, grunting as your head hit off of the solid concrete with a thud that resonated throughout your skull. You weren't quite sure how you had ended up on a rescue mission to attempt to save your dad, uncle, and your best friend Ellie - who's falling out with your father had resulted in you too falling out with the girl who had expected you to side with her instead of your own father. As you were pinned to the floor, your heart stopped at the sight in front of you, it felt like all the air had been sucked out from your body as your jaw lay open in shock.

Your father lay on the ground, covered in blood, a woman standing beside his barely breathing self, holding a golf club dripping with his blood. She turned to you, looking you dead in the eyes as she crouched down in front of your, her cold eyes meeting your tear filled ones. Despite the tears in your eyes, you maintained your tough façade that you thought to be unbreakable, but you feared this would be what broke your tough and hardened exterior, the one that you had adopted from your father as you grew to realise the world you lived in was not one that would be kind to your child-like self.

"I'll fucking kill you, you hear me?!" You yelled at the girl in front of you, it was both a threat and a promise. She scoffed as she shook her head, standing back up and going back towards your father, listening as you grunted as the men restraining you forced you to watch, putting pressure on your neck as they knelt on it; partially cutting off your airways.

Your glassy eyes met Joel's tired ones, they were almost empty, vacant - if not for his increasingly shallow breathing, you would have already mistaken him as dead. "No, dad, please get up," You begged your father, your hardened exterior cracking as you pleaded like a child for your dad to get up and show the woman that held his life in her hands who he was. "Dad fucking get up!" You yelled, demanding now that he get up from this - despite the logical sense in your brain telling you that there was no chance of your father escaping from this, but your traumatized inner child that had her entire childhood ripped away from her needed her daddy to get up and save her. "Please, please don't do this." You begged the girl who stood by your father, her grip on the golf club tightening as she listened to your pleas for your father's life to be spared.

Your pleas, however, fell on deaf ears.

You watched as the girl swung the golf club down onto your fathers head, cracking his skull open with one, sickly crack.

"No!" You sobbed out, clenching your eyes shut as painful and powerful sobs wracked your body. You watched through tear-clouded eyes as Joel let out one last breath before going completely limp, your father's heart completely stopping, ending his life. You didn't care that you were openly bawling in the presence of the very people that had attributed to your fathers death. You weren't paying attention to anything else around you, only able to focus on Joel's dead body, which you were still being forced to stare at - It wasn't for long though, as a swift kick to the face knocked you out.

In the days following Joel's death, the atmosphere was bleak, no one could face anything, but there was one thing you couldn't face - returning back to the house you shared with him, without him with you.

But you had to. As much as it pained you, you had to return to an empty house - a house in which your fathers bed remained unmade, his cup of coffee still on the kitchen countertop where he had left it that morning before the snow had fallen. You barely made it to the kitchen without breaking down, your dad was planning on coming home. He was planning to wash that cup, planning to make his bed - He was going to come home and you were going to have dinner together, this was supposed to be how you'd get to live out the rest of your life, settled with your dad.

But no.

You had that taken from you.

You weren't sure what you had done in any past life to deserve to have had so much taken from you. Your sister, your own damn childhood, and now your dad - you wondered what was next to be ripped from your grasp. You grunted as you fell onto one of the chairs at the dining table, grabbing the nearest bottle of liquor you could grab to drown your misery in, not even bothering to get yourself a glass - You had polished off the bottle in two go's, slamming it down on the table after emptying it. The more you thought about it, the more you realised how unfair this was. You, to the best of your knowledge, had done nothing to that girl. So why did she take your father away from you? and why so brutally? Why did she make you watch as he died?

You had been thinking too much, and you could tell by your reaction. You yelled out in anguish as your threw the glass bottle at the wall, not even flinching as it smashed and the glass pieces fell to the floor. Your chest heaved as you clenched your fists, your nails breaking the skin of your palms - You didn't register the sting as the small marks on your hands started to bleed. Your heavy breathing continued as your eyes filled up with tears, and you barely reacted as Tommy came through the side door of the house. It was been obvious that he had been crying, but he knew he had to check on you, giving that you had shut yourself completely off.

"Y/N?" Tommy watched as you looked up at him, a frown on his face as he noticed sad, yet vacant look in your eyes. "You okay?" He knew it was a painfully stupid question. Of course you weren't okay. You had watched your father be brutally killed in front of your very eyes with little to no explanation of why, how could you be okay after that?

"I hope that was a light-hearted attempt at humour," You murmured, sniffling as you rubbed your nose and met your uncle's eyes. He sighed, side stepping the pile of shattered glass at the door and pulling out the seat in front of you - it was your dad's seat, a seat that he would never sit on again to have breakfast with you.

"Everyone's thinking about you," Tommy informed you, referring to the growing bundle of flowers which was piling up higher and higher, offering a variety of apologies and condolences to you in relation to your fathers death. You scoffed incredulously, shaking your head - You knew that your dad was well valued and loved, but he was your dad. These people didn't know him - they didn't know that he still slept with his door slightly open so if you had a panic attack he could get to you quickly, they didn't know he had wanted to be a singer growing up. They didn't know your father.

"Yeah, of course they would be," You deadpanned. Tommy sighed as he rubbed his hands on his jeans, taking a deep breath before looking at you.

"Y/N, the girl who...who killed your dad," It pained Tommy to say that his brother was dead, but it pained him even more to remind you that your dad was gone. "When we took Ellie to the fireflies all those years ago, your dad killed a bunch of people to save her. That girl is the surgeon's daughter." Tommy explained to you, watching your face as all of the pieces fell into place. So, you did know this girl. Anderson...Anderson....Abby. You remembered,  The Washington Liberation Front.

So, this was revenge.

"Ellie's gone."

"What?" Your head snapped up to look at your uncle.

"She went off with her girlfriend, Dina, I think. She's pregnant," Tommy smiled sadly as you nodded in acceptance, your best friend having abandoned you for her family - something you had lost so much of in the recent days that you weren't sure if you were the problem. You sat in silence for a moment before standing up.

"I'm going to bed." You announced, turning and heading up the stairs before Tommy could say anything. He sighed, watching you run upstairs and into the safety of your room.  He let himself out, locking the door with the spare key Joel had given to him - Just in case, he had said. Unbeknownst to Tommy, you didn't manage to reach your room, as you stopped right outside your fathers, you felt like you couldn't move, paralysed by your grief. In the blink of a moment, you felt like you couldn't breath, your chest constricting as you started sobbing uncontrollably in front of the room that your father would never get to return to. You couldn't build the courage to enter your fathers room, instead crumbling to your knees outside of it, your chest aching as you sobbed, your body shaking as you cried.

You yawned as you opened your eyes, letting out a whine as you stretched out the best you could in your uncomfortable position. You were sandwiched between your dads back and his backpack, it mean his arms weren't tired from carrying you constantly.

"Daddy?" You got Joel's attention, gaining a hum of acknowledgement from your father as he walked alongside your uncle. "Where we goin?" You questioned him. Joel sighed as he tried to come up with a lie to tell you, he knew you didn't understand the severity of what was going on.

"We're gettin somewhere safe, baby girl," Joel assured you, reaching back to hold your small hand to try and comfort you in some way. "Try and go back to sleep, okay?" He told you, tilting his head to the shoulder that you rested your head against, wishing that he too could sleep with you. But any time he had tried, he just saw Sarah dying. Over and over and over again.

You awoke with a groan, rubbing your eyes as you rolled onto your back. Maybe having fallen asleep on the floor wasn't your greatest idea, but your pain was soon forgotten as the smell of eggs wafted up to your nose - Had it all been a bad dream? Was your dad making your breakfast? With hope rising in your chest, you pushed yourself up and off of the floor, making your way down to the kitchen, fully expecting to see your dad standing there - Only to be met with your uncle Tommy. Seeing him standing there instead of your father posed only as a painful reminder of what you had lost, but you couldn't be mad at Tommy, he was grieving too - He had lost his brother just as much as you had lost your dad.

"Morning," He greeted you with a small smile, turning the pan off and turning to face you.

"Yeah, morning," You replied, taking the cup of coffee he offered out to you - You spared a glance to your dad's mug, which still sat in the place he had left it that morning. Tommy knew not too touch anything, this was your house as much as it was your dad's, and if you didn't want anything touched, he would respect that.

"You sleep okay?" Tommy asked you, knowing you were lying when you simply nodded in response. "I...tried, to make you breakfast." He offered a plate of scrambled eggs out to you and gave you a small smile as you took the plate from him and sat down at the dining table wordlessly.

"Thanks," You eventually spoke, looking up at Tommy as he sat across from you. "I'm going to find them. All of them," Your uncle looked at you in confusion, raising his eyebrow to prompt you to continue. "I'm going to Seattle to find her and her group, and I am going to kill, every. Last. One of them." Tommy nodded. If he was being totally honest, he knew this was coming, and if you were anything like your father (which he knew you were), you would make them regret ever laying a hand on your father, and you would make it bloody - anything to get your point across.

"Y/N-"

"No. Don't tell me not to do this. I have to," You told him adamantly, cutting his sentence off before he could get another word in. "I can't let them away with this. They killed my fucking dad, Tommy." You felt yourself filling up again, but not out of sadness, no - this was completely raw, and unfiltered rage.

"Hey. I wasn't telling you not to do this," He finished the sentence you had cut off before, and you looked down at him with a quirked brow. "I was going to tell you that you're not going alone. He wasn't just your dad, and I know that you know that. So we're going together, if I let you go yourself and you get hurt, I know that your dad would never forgive me." You let out a sigh and nodded, accepting your uncle's help in getting revenge for your father.

After breakfast, you packed essentials into your backpack - water, ammo, and a jacket, one you had stolen from your dad - and you made your way to Tommy's. He had managed to get a hold of a car to help in your journey to hunt down Abby Anderson and her crew. Setting off out of Jackson, you couldn't help the part of you that unfairly blamed Ellie for the death of your father.

If Joel hadn't been so hellbent on saving the girl, then he wouldn't have shot Jerry Anderson, and his daughter would still have her father, and you would still have yours.

But no - Ellie Williams was so fucking special to your father that he had sealed his own fate by saving her. You hated how easily she moved on from your dads death, that it was so easy for her to move up and out with her girlfriend and surrogate son, while you and your uncle grieved Joel's loss. Some best friend she turned out to be, huh? You shook your head, and with it your thoughts of Ellie, opting to stare out of the window as your uncle drove out of Jackson and onto the country roads towards Seattle.

Towards your quest for violent and bloody revenge.

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[xerith-42]

I decided to watch Void Paradox

I'm about five minutes into the first episode and I'm still not entirely sure if this is a good idea or not, but Laurance has already spoken like three lines of dialogue and I felt my heart wrench at just one of them, so clearly I'm in too deep now.

This post serves as my live tweeting/mental break down that I am currently having as we speak. It is very incomprehensible because it is literally just my thoughts as they happen, and given how much I have to say, I'll probably make proper posts out of a lot of these points once I finish the series.

This mess is just giving you a taste of the madness I truly posses.

I am only three minutes in before I have to pause and feel the urge to scream about how bad the dialogue in Aphmau series can be. Like this series is fairly okay, especially based on the standard set by her other shows but man... something is just not working here. The whole thing feels very clunky and while I can get the gist of what Jess is going for, the execution of said gist is leaving a lot to be desired.

[Laurance shows up]

nevermind Laurance is on screen and fully voice acted everything is better

Literally nobody talk to me I need to scream about Laurance Zvahl because he is EVERYTHING in this series. The way he very softly says Aph's name when he sees her, the immediate instinct to hug her because he's so relieved to see her, the fact that you can hear the smile in his voice the minute he registers that she's there and alive!! AUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!

And I literally screamed when he revealed that he was transported to this AU right at the end of season 1. Oh my Irene, I screamed. I collapsed. I was truly defeated by a single line of dialogue. I don't know where this series is going to go but I am here for it. And the fact that he knows Garroth did it and hid it from her???

I can't overstate how genuinely healing it is to hear Laurance fully voice acted. I know Sebastian Todd is retired from voice acting, but when he retired, he took down all his posts, including what I considered to be a comfort video. That video of him reading iconic Laurance lines from before he was in mcd/lines he just didn't act? That video was my everything when I was trying to hold onto this version of the character I knew I loved who was different to what Jess made him. When that video got taken down it was a major cowabummer bc there's so little properly voice acted Laurance content that isn't mcd Season 3 or My Street stuff (and I can't stand My Street like 80% of the time)

Hearing his voice, hearing him get to be properly expressive, it's just doing things to me man. I missed this character a lot. I've mostly been enjoying him through fan content or my own work. It's nice to say I enjoy a piece of canon content involving him, at least so far.

Still not sure how I feel about literally anything else. The whole relationship between Aph and Tommy feels very... weird. She describes herself as "basically his mother" after she's left with him, and treats him like it in the opening scene. But then when he's mocking her for being attracted to Laurance (so relatable), it seems really weird for a [checks wiki] 14 year old kid to be calling out his mom for finding someone hot. Feels a lot more like sibling dialogue to me? Which I guess they could be seen as siblings, but the series explicitly stated that she views it like motherhood??? But I don't think Jess is even thinking that deeply about it, I just over analyze her work for fun at this point.

Okay what the actual fuck is going on with the inside of this house???

Why is the color scheme purple and yellow? And not in any kind of flattering way which is possible with opposite colors, it just has both of them. The wallpaper changes when you get into the living room except not entirely on the windows, and in an earlier scene it looked like it wasn't even put onto all of the walls. And the wood that she used as supports just does not compliment either of these colors as they are. Just make it all purple, you know you want to Jess.

Also is the texture on the table and the glass the same??? I don't know a damn thing about modding or making texture/data packs for minecraft but that just seems. odd.

Laurance: mentions the nether Me: [screams just a little]

Tommy: shows up and gives a random ass lore dump Aph: Kay thanks go back to your room

"I don't know what I can do to help."

"Just be there for me. I just need someone to ground me right now."

I literally want to shake Laurance around like a rag doll and give him a stupid kiss on his stupid fucking face UGH why can't I be normal about this block man and his stupid feelings?!?! The way his voice breaks as despair sets in?? The fact that he's no doubt pieced together that Garroth probably stole the amulet and plans to use it to hurt Aph and he can't do anything about it?? I'm literally losing it.

How did I not watch this series before.

Literally about to cry over him just calling Aph "M'lady" out of pure instinct. He didn't consciously do that. He just misses her that much.

oh no spooky evil alternate Laurance or whatever--

MAN I'm so happy I decided to watch this series. This was probably a mistake though :)

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hey, how are you doing? How was coming back to work?

If I can be curious, let me ask you this super hard (or maybe simple, it depends), question: who's your favorite character and why? Also, which one do you find the most easy to understand/write?

Have a nice day my friend, cheers 😊

@dolceaspidenera hi! I'm so happy to hear from you! ^.^

And ooh, those are good questions. I won't answer them completely, but I will give you honest answers ^.^ I apologize in advance for what turned into a character analysis mini-essay XD

I do have a favorite character of the M6, but I prefer not to write like it on this blog. I think it's awesome when fan creators focus on their favorite characters - it means that everything they make is done out of love! - and it's almost something you'd expect in a dating sim fandom when you have to choose one specific character to experience most of the story with. I initially chose not to do that just because I genuinely enjoy writing for connections with all of the M6, even if there's very few that I would want a specifically romantic connection with. Every single one of them are characters that I'd be happy to get to know, as a lover, or an honorary sibling, or a close friend.

The longer I write like that, the happier I am that I do. It means I've explored aspects of the world of the Arcana that I wouldn't have initially been invested in, but that have contributed so much to the story! It also means that I get to chat with people who have so many different perspectives on the game because of their own preferences, and I've learned a lot from them!

As to who is more or less easy to write - that changes based on the prompt. For example, prompts that reference pre-prologue Vesuvia are a lot harder to write with Portia, simply because she didn't arrive there until after Lucio's "death" and because the game doesn't really delve into the life she's had there since. And the hardest prompts for me to write in general are for MC with specific familiars, only because those are characters I haven't read about XD

There are also themes I wish I could explore more, sometimes, for all the M6, but doing so would require so much speculation that it would be hard to keep the headcanons feeling "canon." Julian's life before Vesuvia, for example - he's been knocking all around the world since his teens, and of the two or so decades that that comprises, he's only spent a few years of that in Vesuvia. He glamorizes his adventures when he talks about them, but nobody in their late teens acts as a medic on a battlefield for their apprenticeship without taking away some kind of baggage. When does he break down without dramatics or smokescreens? When does he learn to talk about a painful past without trying to redirect his hurt into drama? When does he learn the healthy kind of selfishness that lets him be completely honest?

Asra's so emotionally private it's hard to get a read on them sometimes. We know they're deeply in love with MC and that that's been a shaping influence on them for the last nine years - but what else? There's so much about him that aches to be known, which he frequently tells MC in his route, but he still treats his relationship with them like it's fragile and new. What happens when things are more settled and they know MC isn't at constant risk of falling apart? Did they ever feel betrayed by MC for not leaving Vesuvia with them? Did they ever feel resentful of MC for causing that much relational pain, or at the very least, for holding them in a full-time caregiving role for three years? When does he learn to depend on them to the point of exposing them to his own ugly thoughts and feelings?

Nadia, for all of her capacity, is still very emotionally young. She's just beginning to process her feelings regarding her own family, which stem from her childhood and were never addressed directly until they were invited to the Masquerade. She has a deep-seated lack of faith in her own strengths, which MC has had the chance to help her overcome, but that attitude has been affecting her perception of other people's opinions of her for most of her life. At what point does she learn how to interpret someone's concern for her as something other than belittlement? At what point does she learn how to recognize and apologize for her own mistakes in a relationship without experiencing it as self-rejection? At what point does she learn to recognize someone else's strength without comparing it to her own and feeling challenged if she doesn't measure up?

Muriel's especially hard to predict physically. He has a whole host of reasons to feel the way he does about his body in relation to himself and others. It could be easy to say that, as he heals in his relationship with MC, he learns to enjoy and seek out physical pleasure as he overcomes trauma (in multiple ways, like food, and comfort, and intimacy). But when it does come to physical intimacy, Muriel is so easily read as demi/asexual that his interest in that aspect of a relationship doesn't really act as a good benchmark for healing. Maybe his aversion to touch is only trauma-related, and underneath that gruffness is a pent-up, touch-starved lover. Maybe he stays consistently disinterested in that kind of physical pleasure, simply because that's the way he is - and there is nothing wrong with that. But we don't know how that progresses.

So much of Portia's life is missing. We don't know much of what her life was like before she came to Vesuvia after Lucio's "death", and we honestly don't know much of what it was like after. We know that she's friends with all the palace employees and that she has a close connection with Nadia, and that's it. It's hard to know how she fits into a post-canon community because she remains so detached from the other M5 throughout her story. Most of what we know of her life with MC afterwards is that she spends a lot of it on a ship. She's the kind of person who thrives in building and maintaining community, and yet we have so few clues about what that looks like. Does she become like family with the sailors, assuming that the ship keeps the same crew? Does her new status give her a peer-based relationship with Nadia? Does she try to keep Julian in her life, or do they drift apart again? Does she eventually create a new home base in a different country?

And, well, I've already a written a whole character analysis of Lucio. We know that he's determined to become an honest man, but we don't know how that plays out. Does he get tired? Does he find a stopping point at "morally gray"? Does he stick it out and become one of the most emotionally healthy characters? Does he ever settle down somewhere else and build a life there? Does he stay in touch, or reconnect with anyone from Vesuvia and build a new friendship with them?

Anyways, those are some of the rabbit trails I let my brain loose on sometimes, and those are a lot of the character aspects I have a harder time writing for because it's so open-ended. Maybe another creator will read this and have answers I don't yet XD

Thanks for your questions, friend, I hope you don't mind my mini-essay!

brainrot

[nitunio]

ryo's first monologue and one of the first eps he appears on are such dead giveaways --

lacks self-esteem and self-reassures himself that he's the better one

I think that it's not only evident by the way he talks and acts, but also the tiny detail that he's living on a lower floor of a high building (mentioned by Momo). To which Ryo also acts like it's better that way, since he throws pets off his window (idk if meant to be a joke, but is very telling of the way he treats others either way -- things to be discarded when not needed anymore), and they don't die since it's not that high up (Which IS also. Listen -. Him throwing pets like that and then being able to gauge whether Momo will survive the fall off a higher floor. Maybe he lied to Momo back then too and Momo would've survived, not unscathed but/// there is a lot of gratification to be found in a person fearing you BUT MOMO DOESN'T and. also. that "I will throw you off a balcony" that implied that Ryo views Momo as entertainment, as a pet, and ultimately, as something of a lower worth that Can Be Thrown Away (since it's not human)). And since he throws pets without them dying, it's better if he stays on a humble lower floor if it means it spares their lives. Because Ryo is kind, you know

The way he points out that he can name fifty flaws of Momo and Yuki each, while praising himself -> THIS PARTICULAR PART IS SO DELIGHTFUL in its own. he's spiteful. everyone loves Momo and Yuki, but they don't deserve it, because they have so many flaws, they do this and that and they're not perfect at all. Why love them? they're rotten and fake and plastic. but not Ryo. Ryo is everything, Ryo has no flaws. but nobody loves Ryo. nobody knows Ryo. and people that do - don't pay much attention, don't notice how hard he's been trying, don't notice it all behind his brother. there's no sunshine for Ryo.

does play-pretend, acts in a manner that is meant to get shock attention (exaggerated movement, phrases) -> ultimately gets none which prompts to act out more and with less concern for others

This ties in with the first point because He Needs attention. That's why his and Momo's relation works ------ Momo's goal was networking, and he did earn a favour because he's just good at being supportive. Momo IS Ryo's sunshine, not a human but a concept of adoration he can keep around and do with as he pleases. Momo is a pet, to be fed and to be talked to, to be seeked out for comfort and entertainment. And Momo IS an idol, idols are meant to be used like that, right?

And he acts and quips and does his word exchanges with Momo, and while the other retorts and opposes, Ryo enjoys it and i think he genuinely enjoys it for real. He can be himself and do whatever, right?

And Ryo keeps acting and acting and executing his plan, and gradually he comes to do worse and worse things. Because it's fun, because he gets to see them all suffer for not noticing him. Cut to Esperanza -- and suddenly the attention is overwhelming. It's not at all what he had in mind. it's a betrayal

the hatred for entertainment industry

Imagine going to a concert for an idol and hearing so much about how they make your day better, how they make you feel seen and loved and finally appreciated. Only to yell for attention and get none. Once more. First childhood neglect then getting ignored by a Legendary idol. The problem is not with Ryo, and that would be correct. But the idea that Ryo gets is that everybody just chooses not to see him because they're bad. That's why idols must be destroyed, they're fake after all.

the dinner setup for Momo

I MUST SAYYYY THAT HE STILL CARES FOR MOMO AND SUBTLY. HINTS AT HIM WANTING TO BE CLOSER. YOU KNOW. ALCOHOL AND ALL THAT STUFF. he never expresses anything with words and countless of examples of that will show up throughout. im going to explode

Destruction as means for Creation

Ryo sought out Hurt and Rejected people, to grow their budding spite into a shared hatred. There's artistry in negative emotions and what drew people in to be ZOOL's fans aside from the cool music and very rash characters, is the aura that their performances have (iiiiiii think its pt 5 where they start diving in to ZOOL's selling point).

This is also where Utsugi mentions "Ryo's sense of beauty" AND ITS (EXPLODES) .................. he knows. he knows. even if Ryo doesn't know, he is good at creating talent. as he said himself, he can see so many flaws in others, and he's so good himself, and that is true! he has strengths and he can be bold and can see to business being done with more and more profits.

(that's also where my "Utsugi/Ryo as contrasting opposites that are way too similar" tangent would go but I'm ---- )

Momo as a catalyst for change

Ultimately Momo's total downfall could have been if he were more pliant to Ryo, and while he tried to calm down the unstable man, Ryo assumed more and more control over Momo which would have ended badly if it weren't for the last conversation they had in part 3.

If Ryo fails at something, he should try again. If Ryo wants attention, he should say so, and demand it, vocally, now that he can talk, should be the loudest one. He needs to care. He should be honest about his feelings -- and he is. The moon is so beautiful.

The sunshine that beams every way, radiating warmth and light, covers the lonely moon with it too. And the Moonlight shines upon those who are in the dark, hurt and lonely - they become the stars, the idols on their own, facing the earth that hurt them with a gentle smile, knowing that embracing it with a kind presence is better than turning away from it.

[clippedwingsmuses]

🇭‌🇪‌🇦‌🇩‌🇨‌🇦‌🇳‌🇴‌🇳‌ - 🇰‌🇴‌🇰‌🇮‌🇨‌🇭‌🇮‌ 🇴‌🇺‌🇲‌🇦‌

ooc: honestly more of a character study than a headcanon but i dont have another tag for that so i'll consider it part of this anyways (moreso because of my own personal interepretations here), this is going to be a tangent so strap yourselves in its a LOT of reading ahead yall

i've been listening to this song a lot recently, and honestly it really makes me think of kokichi's perception of relationships. so, i want to take a deep dive into some of his behaviours in regards to his relationships and feelings, and how he views them!

obviously, a lot of kokichi's character can be determined in the killing game, (the ugly parts anyways) but that makes moments in the udp and dating modes so interesting. more specifically, i wanna refer to the ultimate talent development plan mode and one of kokichi's interactions with gonta.

obviously this can all be portrayed as kokichi playing up the 'lying' part of himself, but it's always been obvious from the beginning, even before they were told they were in a killing game in v3, that kokichi keeps a distance from people. and that distance is much more than arms length. it's a rarity for him to find himself getting close to people, and usually he has some sort of ulterior motive when he does so (as shown in chapter 4's investigation with shuichi). the point of his persona is to make people want to avoid being near him, that way when he inevitably dies or disappears, nobody will feel upset about it and no one will mourn his loss.

even then, he still shows a desire to be close to people. he doesn't want to burden people by making them care about him, but he does still have that human desire to be cared for. and i feel like his want to keep people at a distance is why he got angry when gonta was upset he wouldn't be able to spend more time with kokichi, considering they were graduating soon.

but they're not in a killing game, so, why would he still do that?

it could very well be just a part of his 'supposed personality' that was amplified through the killing game, and he's just always been like that. or, it could be a trauma response of sorts, for him to fear getting close to people and people getting close to him because he's afraid he'll be hurt. he, in turn, could also be afraid of hurting others with his lying and pranks and such. something similar to that can be seen through his harmonious heart event in the dating mode.

the major point of the event goes to show that he knows his lying is what chases people away. but that's the point. and he even briefly considers pulling back or quitting entirely if it means getting close to just one other person. but of course, as shuichi would put it, no one can imagine a kokichi ouma that isn't a liar.

which is exactly why having any sort of relationship with him proves to be a struggle. friendships, romance, whatever familial relations he might have... none of them are there, or even healthy when they are. i imagine kokichi struggles to consider anybody a friend of his, even when they're deeply close to him. he probably only considers his classmates as 'allies' or 'acquaintances' of some form. the word 'friend' is just too much. it also makes his semi-implied crush on shuichi stand out, both in terms of the themes that they represent and how their personalities bounce off eachother.

although, it's difficult to say how deep those feelings can go with kokichi. he sort of enjoys having his lies figured out, to an extent, and that might be part of what gives him that desire to get close to people. he tries to make himself unpredictable, to stand out and be a voice that no one wants to hear, tell the jokes everyone hates, and like he showed during the attempts to beat the death road of despair, he'll also be the only one to speak his mind when everyone else is too afraid of hurting feelings.

him being a good liar means he has an easy time picking up when people are being genuine. that's why we go back to his event with gonta; he knows that gonta isn't a liar, not a good one anyways, and that angers him. the same thing happened during the chapter 4 trial where because of gonta's memory loss, he couldn't effectively prove his innocence in the case, and in turn made kokichi's grand plan completely fall apart. gonta's genuineness pushes kokichi over the edge, and really showcases how deeply he struggles with the concepts of trust and friendship.

let's talk about kokichi's reaction to gonta's execution after the class trial. the fact that no one could see through kokichi's insanity infuriates me to no end. naturally during that event, most people were distraught over gonta's death, but that also included kokichi. as much as he tried to avoid getting close to people, he got close to one person. and he ended up getting the only person who showed genuine care for him killed. all the guilt was setting in that very moment, and it broke him mentally.

emotions were high for everyone, but kokichi was the worst case of it. this wasn't a moment where he could show that he did feel genuine guilt, because of the image he'd spent the last few weeks of the killing game building up. he had a part to play. he's an actor. he couldn't break out of character. so, he amplified the worst parts of himself to hide how he felt, because he wouldn't dare let them see him for what he really is. no one could see that in their situation, kokichi was just playing a part to keep people from seeing through him. even still, being told that he'd always be alone still hurt him. that much is an obvious factor just because of the sprite change. to quickly change the topic and walk away as if he's unaffected is something kokichi could be well known for, because that's not be the first time he's done it.

kokichi has a habit of doing that. walking away means he doesn't have to lie, and it means he doesn't have to be genuine. it leaves his feelings open and ambiguous. but this was a situation where they were more blatant, and no one caught onto it. no one could blame them of course; gonta was universally liked, and kokichi is universally hated. it's not right, but it makes the most sense for how kokichi feels to be ignored in that moment. to the remaining characters, kokichi isn't the kind of character who feels remorse for his actions. but that's their worldview, not how things actually are.

and after that point, the way he acts changes to an extent. he's still the same old annoying liar and manipulator, but there's something about the way he speaks that feels... off. it feels like after gonta's death, he pushed the villain act even harder than he did before, to the point where it does appear to be 100% genuine. and that's not how kokichi is. the person that he was before gonta's death and the person that he is during chapter 5 are two extremely different people.

that's what makes him having relationships of any kind interesting. he needs someone there that can really pick him apart, know how he is and bounce off it, not try to change him but try to understand him, and play along. and most of the people that he knows right now aren't willing to do that. as a result, there's a high chance that when he meets people outside of his class, he's going to automatically assume they're going to be the exact same way and treat him no different.

this can be shown in a lot of his udp events with the dr2 and dr1 cast as well.

nagito is blunt with the fact that kokichi makes it obvious he doesn't want to talk about himself. and it wouldn't be that kokichi would be trying to hide that, but having his feelings laid out like that still frustrate him to an extent. gundham also relates himself to kokichi; he uses kokichi's talent and his own self-proclaimed title as a demon as an explanation for why they can't interact because, and i quote, it's not possible for 'those who wear masks of darkness' to mingle. kyoko also barely makes an effort to discuss with him due to his lying nature, attempting to step out of a conversation with him as quickly as she can (but we know how that went).

i would mention hiyoko's events with him as will, but hiyoko is naturally mean so i'm not sure if that's a fair assessment of her treatment towards him.

as far as interactions with the v3 cast during that mode go, there are a few that stick out to me as well. namely, kokichi being genuinely surprised when kiibo is willing to change his view of their relationship. as much as kokichi aims to piss him off all the time, kiibo does still consider them friends in the end. kaito's event with him is also interesting, as when kokichi mentions they won't be seeing eachother after graduation, kaito considers it a lie and says they might meet again just because he's a liar. kokichi ends up complimenting kaito for this as well, which is something he very rarely does for others.

in comparison to gonta's event, kokichi doesn't get angry at kiibo or kaito for their behaviours. its likely a testament to the fact that they don't have gonta's gullible and genuine nature. kokichi's view of relationships and how he treats them relies heavily on his lying, and how others lie. it's interesting to him, because while he lies to keep up a persona and for fun, others only lie when they're aiming to do good. everyone is a liar in his eyes, probably brought on by the fact that he's a liar himself.

that's why seeing him build up genuine relationships is so interesting. there's a point where kokichi most likely feels that his lies are needless, that he can completely fall apart and act 'normal' around someone without it being brushed off. there's a point where he can be taken seriously, and not have it used as some sort of joke he's trying to tell.

but as much as kokichi wants all of that, he hates to be genuine. the thought of people caring about him makes him sick to his stomach, cause he doesn't think that's how things are supposed to be. he doesn't feel that he deserves that much. but it's difficult to say what made him like this, and it's difficult to determine why he would still react in these ways even outside of the killing game. really, its up to interpretation.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Oddly enough, I only have a couple polyships for Class of the Titans so it was pretty easy to pick one to write about! And because the fandom is so small, I don’t think anyone will care too much either way! So, using the same prompt again, I hope anyone interested enjoys the headcanons for a Herry/Reader/Odie polyship!

Who is the one who would go up to a random elder in a coffeeshop and ask them about their life?

Odie is friendly and all, but I don’t think he’d ever be quite that forward or that into interacting with strangers. Herry though, being raised by his grandmother, has a real respect for his elders and is used to talking to older people. Because he’s so used to talking to his grandmother and her friends and hearing their stories, he genuinely enjoys listening and talking to older people and he’d probably have no problems with doing this if the person looked sad, lonely, or just really interesting.

Who hates checking out books because checking them out means interacting, and that is always awkward?

This is Odie. He really hates the small talk part of checking out books because really, he just wants to get his books and get out so he can start reading them. He’ll do it because…well, let’s face it, libraries are safe spaces and vital to life in Odie’s opinion, but he really wishes they’d come out with self-checkouts for libraries as well.

Who is the one to use toilet paper as tissues and carries it around all day?

Herry doesn’t even understand why this isn’t something you’re supposed to do. He knows it’s rude to cough or sneeze without using it and the thought of coughing or sneezing into his clothes or his arm or wiping his nose with his shirt is kind of gross. He doesn’t think to carry around tissues, but toilet paper is readily available in most places so why shouldn’t he use it for that purpose?

Who is the one who carries around $100 just in case there is some apocalypse and they need to buy gear?

I feel like Odie has a secret hiding spot for his money, probably just something that would look inconspicuous like an old coffee can or something (since he likes coffee and often uses the old cans to store little doodads, like bolts or nuts or the like). He definitely puts at least a few dollars in there every week, and it’s separate from his rainy day fund and is to be used only in case of some global meltdown or apocalypse, not so much to buy gear because, at that point, Odie thinks commerce won’t be a big thing, but more to use for bartering for safety or paying people off.

Who is the one who points with their chin?

I feel like both Odie and Herry do this occasionally and you probably even do it sometimes too, because it’s a pretty common gesture. Odie is the one to do it the most though, and it’s normally because his hands are occupied with other things, and he can’t really use them to point with.

Who is the one who takes pictures of their food and instagrams it?

Herry would so be a food Instagrammer. It’s a good 90% of his Instagram because the man does love his food and he thinks it looks so delicious that it needs to be shared. He follows a lot of food related content too, so he sees a lot of others do similar things. It makes him happy to do it, so nobody really has the heart to tell him that, quite frankly, he’s horrible at taking good pictures. A lot of his pictures turn out dark or slightly blurry but my god, he has fun taking them.

Who is the one who reads fanfiction daily?

I feel like this would have to be Odie and probably you. He definitely has his own fandoms he’s really into and fandom writers and artists where, when they post something new, if he’s not in some crazy situation, like, he just HAS to go see their new content because he loves everything they do. He’ll be so happy if the two of you can find a fandom you both enjoy so you can talk about it and send each other cute art or good headcanons or fics.

Who is the one to write fanfiction?

I feel this would have to be you. While Odie definitely appreciates fanfiction, I don’t think he’s ever really been all that interested in writing it. He just isn’t skilled at it. He has the idea and definitely has the daydreams where he plays out situations as if he was part of the show, book, movie or game he’s obsessed with, but he just can’t write worth beans.

Who is the one who cosplays?

Okay, but I could easily see the three of you doing this. Odie is definitely into cosplay; he follows or watches a lot of cosplayers and just really is so into it. He has so many ideas for cosplays he’d like to do or group cosplays for the three of you and he’d be the one to put a lot of work into making the cosplays. Herry just knows that cosplays make Odie happy and possibly make you happy, if you’re into cosplaying, and if either of you ask him to cosplay with you guys, while he won’t really get it, he’ll happily oblige, if only to see you smile and keep you happy and he’ll cosplay any character you guys want him to, do it with a smile, and even become really excited about both the cosplay, the event or picture taking that follows, and even the character he probably knew very little about starting out. Even if you weren’t initially into cosplay, with both men so very enthused about it, it’s hard to refuse them.

Who is the one who likes to quote movies, books, and songs in conversations?

Odie is a fount of pop culture quotes, and he definitely uses them, thinking he’s being so cool…he’s always kind of grumpy and deflated when very few people, if any, get the reference.

Who is the one to burst into song randomly?

Herry gets songs stuck in his head pretty easily and often just out of nowhere. It’s not full out burst into song at the top of his lungs, by any means, but I feel like he mumbles, hums, or sings under his breath when a song gets really, really stuck in his head. And it’s never a full song that’s in his head or that he’s singing along to, but like, a chorus or just a few short words with the general tune.

Who is the one who secretly uses their neighbours WiFi?

Nobody has to do this. You know Odie makes sure that, at whatever point in their lives they’re at, wherever you guys are living together, that not only is Wi-Fi available but that the internet package being paid for is top of the line and has unlimited data and fast speeds.

Who is the one who safety pins friendship bracelet strings to their clothing so they could have something to do if bored?

I feel like you might be the one to do it initially, but that Herry starts making sure there’s packs of strings in the glovebox of his truck, just in case you run out or forget yours, while Odie will keep strings in his workshop and might even sit and make them with you every now and then. He’s really good at it too, his nimble fingers getting the hang of even complicated designs pretty quickly.

Who is the one who played/plays an obscure instrument just to be different?

Herry can play a couple of simple country songs on the guitar but not well, while Odie doesn’t really play an instrument. His parents tried to make him learn piano growing up but, because he loved inventing and building things, his hands were normally scratched and burned and callused and roughened and just not all that suited for piano playing.

Who is the one who puts bajillions of stickers on their door/wall?

If Odie has the opportunity to and knows it’s not going to cause any issues, such as it would in a rental, I feel like he’s very much stickers and posters all over the walls or door kind of decorating. I also have always strongly headcanoned that, if he’s allowed to, his laptops tend to be covered with stickers or something along those lines, since he likes to aesthetically customize the laptop, along with all the customization he does to the inner workings and such of the laptop.

Who is the one who likes to rewatch the same movies?

I mentioned it above, but Odie is definitely fandom trash and there’s several movies or television shows that are so absolutely beloved by him that he could, and does, watch them repeatedly because they’re just so damn good.

Who is the one who uses bootlegs to watch their favourite movies/TV shows?

I feel like this would have to be you. Odie could easily do so but he kind of honestly prefers to not do so since it just doesn’t feel morally right to him and Herry wouldn’t even think of that fact that that was a possibility he could take.

Who is the one that writes on their arm to remind themselves to do something?

Herry does this because he doesn’t really have the best memory. He’s awful at remembering deadlines or times unless it’s something that’s happening relatively quickly, like within a day or so. The problem is that he often forgets that he wrote the important information on his arm and needed to copy it somewhere else before washing up or taking a shower.

Who is the one who owns dozens of pencils but is too lazy to sharpen them?

This could be you, or it could be Odie. It’s not that he doesn’t sharpen his pencils, it’s that he chews or bites on them when he gets deep in thought and ruins them to the point where it’s just better to throw them away and get a new one.

Who is the one who uses YouTube for their music because they don’t want to buy/download anything?

I feel like all three of you would probably use YouTube to find a song every now and again, just because it’s easy and convenient but I think Herry definitely has, like, SiriusXM or something along those lines for his truck, which is where he listens to most of his music, so he doesn’t do it quite as often, normally just to show someone a song he really likes.

Who is the one who always wears the same shoes?

Herry has his work boots for the farm, his regular everyday shoes, and his church shoes which are for church and fancier occasions. Odie lives in the same pair of ratty, slip on sneakers until they fully come apart though.

Who is the one to do asks like this?

I feel like it would either have to be you or Odie. He’d do it very infrequently though, mostly because he just always has a lot of the go as is and a million things he wants to do more.

[burgerrat]

More infodumping about my silly au teehee, now wanting to focus on Phoenix and Winslow, so sit tight-

So, I have to clarify again here that in this AU Winslow hasn't just recently met Phoenix, they already know eachother and they actively work together since they can both have something in relation to the same passion: making music. Winslow composes, Phoenix sings it (sometimes in a duet with Winslow before his disfigurement)

They go back like, when they were both younger, still in college or around the time they were both finishing their studies on scoring/singing. They probably met in a theatre where they both practiced (you CANNOT tell me they wouldn't be theatre kids.) and got along; realizing they both share the same passion for music and genuinely enjoying what each created (written or sung) they decide to work together from then on.

Much like in the movie, there is no romance here, just two underrated artists that want to he seen and enjoy eachother's company.

Phoenix is aware of Winslow's bad temper, and she tries helping him out. His cantata is his obsession, so she tries to get his mind off it when he's overworking himself with some other hobby or distracting him. It's like that one friend encouraging and supporting another to fight through their addiction.

~

She was upset, even more than her friend, to find out they Swan stole Winslow's music and went in with him in that taxi. They try getting in to the 'audition', and it goes as well as you'd imagine: Phoenix almost getting taken advantage of and running off crying, and Winslow sneaking in disguised as a woman there to rehearse. (Not before getting in a previous scuffle with the guards as he becomes enraged by them hurting his friend; he doesn't ask them for a department store in this AU he just gets in a fight until he gets thrown out, and not wanting his music to be used- he does his own thing and goes back there disguised *get this swag out of here scene ensues*).

After hearing her friend was jailed for selling drugs- Phoenix was furious. She knew something was up since she would know what Winslow is like and that this is very uncharacteristic beyond all, she goes after answers about what happened- hell she even visits Winslow while in jail to hear it directly from him- which then leads to her trying to track down Swan. This doesn't go very well as she's just gaslit, nobody does anything, and she gets intimidated by people working for Swan following her around as a warning to stop further pressing on the issue. She gives up and just waits for her friend to be finally released from jail... until she hears the news that he's passed away after vandalizing Death Records.

She's shattered by this, first feeling guilty for not having done more for Winslow (I can best deacribe it as an odd form of survivor's guilt), and secondly by vowing vengance on Swan, now wishing to take away something precious from him as well: the Paradise. She no longer cares for fame or wanting to be seen- mirroring Winslow's feelings... she wants revenge. For screwing up their lives. But unlike Winslow, she's less direct about it. Since previously nobody listened to her or threatened her safety- now she would play the game, plotting to somehow destroy the Paradise from the inside out, somehow.

[edwardssnail]

I don't think I've told you about my twilight phase but I'm always so tickled you're a twilight account. when I was like 12 or 13 I did have the phase. this was a time that was not good for me though my family was at a really shitty church sometimes I would unironically wear a khaki skirt and blue shirt and be like "omg just like Bella." I shudder to look back on it. and I remember that was when the midnight sun partial draft was floating around and on smeyers website And I read that, but I also read midnight sun fanfiction. And I'm not sure whether it was a fanfiction or my own demented imagination (probably the former) but I confused canon with that for the longest time I had a very clear memory of midnight sun's ending. Which yk didn't actually exist. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but now but I do remember it having different plot points than the actual ending and I was a little sad when I read midnight sun and that didn't happen. Do you think Smeyer could have written twilight if she wasn't Mormon and it just would've been different or do you think the Mormonism was a vital component in creating the disasterpiece that it is.

Haha I'm glad you appreciate it because sometimes it's SO cringy having to respond to things on my fuckvictorvale account from my twilight blog. So it makes me feel better that someone has seen my main and related

The khaki skirt outfit is so iconic, I wish it was in the movies. AND EDWARD'S SLEEVELESS BUTTON UP because wtf is that. I definitely remember when twilight and new moon came out and wanting to wear all of her layered hollister tank tops and long sleeves. Even now, I love looking at all of Bella's outfits. Some of them are really cute

I didn't find out about the midnight sun draft until I was like 21, hadn't thought about twilight in years, but I so vividly remember being in my college apartment, staying up until like 3 am reading it on my phone lmao. Honestly I liked the draft better than the book. Maybe just because it was shorter. Once the book came out, I read about half and gave up because it was just TOO MUCH. Way too much Edward. I'm not an Eddie hater but good god, nobody needs to hear from him that much

Midnight Sun is actually the main reason I made this blog. I had recently read the draft, COVID quarantine had just started and I was in my last semester of undergrad and not doing well lol. I ended up watching Twilight with my roommates and latched onto it again because of nostalgia and then stuck around for the Midnight Sun craziness

At this point, I confuse canon with fan theories and the spin off books/movies all the time. The last time I read Eclipse and Breaking Dawn was the first time I read them... IN 2008. I really don't have a good grasp on what's canon from the books but I'm just here to fuck around

I think the Mormanism is vital but in the worst way. Like it did not benefit the series at all but without it, it would be unrecognizable. And part of the charm of liking Twilight is how cringy some of it is. Half of it doesn't make sense, half of it is extremely questionable , the characters often aren't developed that well. All of Breaking Dawn is just bad. But it's fun! Idk, the weirdness gives it charm. As much as I joke about how bad it is, I do genuinely enjoy it

[monamoe]

I’m getting back into Stranger Things again and WOW have my opinions on a lot of stuff changed

So here’s my collection of hot takes/ about 2 headcannons/interpretations of the characters bc j love discussions and hearing other people’s opinions

1. Will Byers is an overrated character.

I have nothing against Will as a character. He’s been through a ton of trauma, including being taken over by a shadow monster, being trapped in an alternate dimension full of monsters while being chased by a monster, among other things. But he’s constantly made out to be this “soft boy who never does anything wrong”. And. Why. I hate this fandom trope so much. Will shouldn’t be excused from every single thing just because of his trauma. It’s pretty annoying. But in my personal opinion, I just never found him interesting as a character. He’s not bland at all objectively speaking, but I still found him bland. I preferred literally any scene with any other character. This is probably because Season 1 is my favourite and the one I’m most attached to, and Will barely is in it. Season 2 was more Will focused and that’s my least favourite season so…

2. Mike Wheeler is an overhated/overlooked and misunderstood character.

Mike is such a complex and interesting character and I hate that he’s watered down so much. Anything he says or does is taken so badly by everyone it’s exhausting 😭 The other Party members also do bad things and act badly and nobody bats an eye but when it’s Mike it’s all “he’s a horrible character!”. The double standard is crazy.

3. Byler is overrated.

Byler never stood out to me as a ship. I never really enjoyed it. I understood it sure, but I never liked it. Maybe it’s because I enjoy Byler as platonic more than romantic, or because I just can’t see them together. It never really clicked for me 😭 I’d be very disappointed if Byler becomes canon. I’m not gonna rain on anyone’s parade though, so if it does become canon good for yall Byler shippers!

4. Steddie is overrated.

I have a confession, Steddie was my favourite ship in ST when I was full force in the fandom. I loved it. And I still love the dynamic. I just physically can’t see them together anymore😭 Platonic Steddie for life‼️ They’re best friends trust

5. Eddie’s character is really interesting and tragic to see throughout season 4, despite him just being the customary side character that dies at the end.

Eddie’s journey from Chrissy’s death and later on his is so tragic and fun to me. He’s a very fun character, his reactions to everything are pretty relatable, and I really relate to him about some things. His interactions with Chrissy are so sweet and sad. I love the fact that he notices Chrissy is not okay, tries to make her laugh, talks to her, and doesn’t give her drugs immediately. He tells her to think it over until after the game. It’s pretty sweet to me. I do understand why he didn’t postpone the DND game for Lucas’ basketball game. Yeah, it was shitty, but also, the basketball team has been bullying Hellfire for AGES. I also wouldn’t be okay with one of my club mates joining the team of the guys who have been bullying me and my club for a long time. I lot about Eddie is interesting to me, I love his character, I love how he runs away at the beginning and runs away at the end, but in very different contexts. I love how he runs away from Chrissy’s death (a normal reaction to seeing someone die so horrifyingly in front of you, in a supernatural manner), I love how the town reacts to him being a suspect, I love his guilt over running away, I love him dedicating his rendition of “Master of Puppets” to Chrissy, and I love how he finally chooses to run away, but in the context of chasing away the bats from the gate. I loved his death and it was genuinely one of 3 scenes in media that have made me cry.

6. Mike Wheeler is AroAce.

Half headcannon, half character interpretation. Mike is definitely queer in some way or the other. I’ve always viewed him as Aroace/Aroacespec, and it’s another reason why I don’t really like Mike ships that much. (Is it also projecting a bit? Maybe.)

7. Eleven is Acespec

Just vibes. But also another reason that Eleven would feel like an outsider. (Also maybe projecting a teeny tiny bit).

8. The constant shipping in Stranger Things kind of makes the show worse.

Everything is a ship and I hate it. I just want found family/platonic relationship fics and it’s always romantic is some way. I wish relationships were never introduced in the show 😔 even if it would have been very different.

9. Mike Wheeler will be Vecna’s next victim.

There was a really cool analysis I read somewhere, I’m so sad I can’t find it. But researching this theory is so interesting I love it! I really hope this is what happens in canon.

10. Both Max and Mike were in the wrong in season 3.

Yeah I don’t have the capabilities to explain why I think this right now.

11. Max wasn’t the best influence in season 3 when it came to Mike specifically

Yeah Max was a great addition to El as a friend, and their friendship was adorable. But Max was VERY VERY clearly Anti-Mike. Everything he did was made negative in her eyes, and it was kind of annoying. I love how she helped El find herself a bit, but yeah she’s still human, she’s still a teen girl, and she’s still biased.

12. Jonathan Byers is underrated as a character.

No explanation needed, he has massive potential.

13.Jancy and Stancy are equally bad as ships.

For one, I jsut don’t like Nancy. Two, they just don’t fit right together.

14. Nancy is overrated.

To me she always felt condescending. She’s a bsdass but she’s also vindictive at times. She was rude to Robin bc she was jealous over Steve (when she already had a boyfriend). She cheated on Steve. She paid no mind to the fact that Jonathan did need the job bc his family isn’t wealthy like Nancy’s in season 3. She disregarded Jonathan’s worries. And jsut, I don’t like her much. Not like Jonathan and Steve were much better in Season 1 but they grew. Jonathan was a bit of a creep in S1. Steve was an asshole in S1. They both grew as characters and people, while Nancy didn’t feel like she changed a lot except for small parts.

15. Jason should not have died, he should’ve been held accountable for the shit he did.

He literally became basically a cult leader, and led a mob to hunt down Eddie. What. The Fuck. Killing him felt like a cop out from him facing consequences. I would’ve loved to see him realized Eddie was innocent and that he and his goons beat up a high schooler and a middle schooler for no reason. That it is his fault Max almost died. Just.

16. Fred, Patrick, and Chrissy deserved to be explored more instead of just being “Vecna’s victims”. We barely saw anything of them and it’s such a pity.

I loved their personalities and their struggles. I hope we get to see at least a ghost of them in the future.(very unlikely)

17. Eddie’s death wasn’t a waste or a no reason death.

Yes he was killed bc ST always kills off side characters but. His death wasn’t “for no reason” and he did accomplish ehat he was trying to do 😭 For one, the gate was open, the acts could’ve gotten through and that’s an even bigger problem. Second, the bats needed to be distracted enough that Nancy, Steve, and Robin can get Vecna. He didn’t die jsut to have a cool scene there was a reason.

18. People have higher expectations of Mike than the other Party members and are a LOT less forgiving when Mike makes mistakes than when the others do.

If anyone else says something hurtful it’s always “it’s because of their trauma! Cut them some slack.” But when it comes to Mike, literally any mistake and the fandom immediately despises him. I don’t like 😔

[openingpandorasbox1]

FACEBOOK CULL

FACEBOOK CULL

                I have decided to do a cull on my Facebook. I would rather have a small group of people on my Facebook than have a large number of people who are questionable. When I say cull, I mean cull on Facebook as well as real life. My safety and emotional health needs to be a priority. I only want genuine people in my life who are decent and good people.

I am on the internet at least once a day for an hour or so and I use the internet to do things that I enjoy, photos of friends, family, cats, history stuff, and music. just want to use Facebook and feel comfortable using it without feeling concerned.

                I don’t cull people that often, but at the moment after everything that has happened, I feel it’s the best thing to do. I’ve had people online who have been nicer to me than some of the friends and family I’ve had in life. I treat everyone with respect and kindness, but that doesn’t give them a free pass to mistreat me. In truth, there are a lot of assholes out there and I haven’t had the best people around me. I don’t care what people post on Facebook, as long as they aren’t bullying, abusive, or harassing me or somebody else. If someone is bullying, being abusive, or harassing me or another person, they got to go.

                Sharons’ boyfriend has abused me over the years and Sharon would often witness it and would be okay with it which enabled the abuse. She’s a flying monkey or perhaps Keith is the flying monkey. I hate people who belittle others in order to feel good about themselves - they are the dipshits of the world. Sharon has been nice and not-nice to me over the years. I often forgave her for things she wasn’t even sorry for. Whenever she was cruel I would get annoyed with it but would later let it go (and then it would happen again). It was usually always me who goes out of my way to contact friends and organize catch ups and I’m exhausted as a result. I won’t be doing that anymore. I said to Autumn once, “If it wasn’t for me contacting them, I would never hear from them” and when I finally did stop, that did come true. I usually would only hear from Sharon when it was her birthday and she wanted people to go out to celebrate her birthday with her. Sharon does have a good side and I don’t want to stop being friends with Sharon, but I never hear from her and her boyfriend has done wrong to me and she stands by him.

                I’ve always had to do hard work in these friendships and it’s been hard work, I’m exhausted and I don’t want to continue going out of my way for people just to get treated with disdain. It’s not worth it. Ever since I stopped associating with Keith (which was years ago) I hear and see less of Sharon, which wasn’t much in the first place. I haven’t had anything to do with Keith for about 2 or 3 years now. I regret tolerating BS from a lot of people, it’s time to bring change in my life and cut out all the BS. I’m constantly surrounded by feral-type people with their feral-type behavior, I don’t want to be around that. People like that scare me and I can’t relate to them. I’ve walked away from everybody’s bullshit and I have no regrets.

                I have to cut out people in my life who are toxic. If that means being left with nobody in my life, then so be it. I was always felt like I was on my own, even when I was surrounded by people. I have to acknowledge it and make decisions for my own well-being. I was sacrificing my own emotional health to keep people in my life and obviously.

                Keith isn’t on my Facebook as I have deleted him years and years ago but I still had Sharon as a friend on Facebook. Sharon is a lurker on Facebook, a ghost, she pretends she is never online and often vocalizes the fact that she never uses Facebook and she pretends she never uses the internet. However, whenever I have seen her in real life, she will often tell me how she’s seen all these posts on Facebook, what I’ve posted, what other people have posted and how she’s been looking up particular people (from our past) and telling me all about them (insults of course). Her kids have also vocalized more than one time that their mother is always online. She will tell people she never uses Facebook, but 10 minutes later, she will start telling us everything she’s seen on Facebook and has a source of information to relay about what she has seen on Facebook over the past few months. For somebody who spends no time on Facebook, she has seen a lot on Facebook and she often spends her time looking up other people. Even Keith has told us how Sharon is always online and on Facebook. She will never LIKE anything, even if she tells us in person that she liked something we posted. She also won’t comment on anything even though she wants to talk about it the next time she sees us in person. She lurks and I have always found that to be a little creepy and unusual. If I bump into her by accident she will mention something that I or someone had posted just recently. Once I posted a group photo of me and my friends (I didn’t tag anybody in the photo), and this photo included her and minutes after I had posted it she sent me a message from her Facebook account and asked me to remove it because she didn’t like the way she looked in the photo. I didn’t have a problem with removing it (I did remove it), but for someone who is never on Facebook, she seems to notices something straight away.

                She says one thing and does another, it doesn’t add up, and it’s hard to trust people who behave that way. I think she only tells people she doesn’t use Facebook or she hasn’t got time for the internet just to be pretentious. She wants people to think she’s above them. She pretends she cares about privacy, but she lurks people all the time and looks up to other people who we don’t have anything to do with anymore. It’s extremely contradictory. She has told me numerous times, whenever I see her she will inform me about someone she’s looked up to on Facebook and will tell me about how old and awful they look now, and then she will laugh. I know she uses the internet because she keeps telling me she is on this video thing with Charlie Sheen’s ex-girlfriend, she has no time for her friends but she’s got time to hang out with Charlie Sheen’s ex-girlfriend online. She says she never spends time on the internet, but in the next sentence, she will tell me how she’s always on video chats, “it’s the way of the future” she told me. Even though Sharon doesn’t post photos online, videos and doesn’t use video chat.

                Sharon and I had a private group online that we would use to write messages to one another, it was rarely used (of course), it was just like messenger but we used the group instead because we found it easier. She wrote me a message on it and I would write back within the week and would give her support. I had been going through a difficult time myself, a close family member of mine had been rushed to hospital and had to undergo emergency surgery and I was worried about that. It was during this time he was in the hospital that I wrote to her and let her know what was going on. In groups you can see if someone had seen your message, Facebook indicated that she had seen it but she never replied. Five months later I heard from her again and told me she had never seen my message, which didn’t make sense. She also replied to me under my message that I did leave her. She wrote that she never saw it (even though she wrote underneath it) and didn’t acknowledge anything that I had written to her. I read it, but I didn’t reply to her message straight away because I didn’t think she would see it straight away, I mean, she never uses Facebook right? However a few days later, I got a snappy message from Sharon inquiring why I haven’t replied to her message after three days, I thought that was odd. She takes a months and even a year before she contacts me, and she’s upset with me after not replying to her message after three days. There was nothing urgent in the message she sent me to make me think that it required an immediate reply. I wrote the last message in September 2016 and she didn’t care to reply, even though she demanded my reply instantly and that was 7 months ago. So I thought, “Fuck it” and I deleted the group. Occasionally she will contact me on my birthday and I contact her on her birthday, but that’s about it. I don’t even hear from her on my birthday anymore. I’m sick of going out of my way for people when they don’t care about going out of their way for me.

                I like Facebook because I have a lot of hobbies and interests and I also like good and genuine people. I follow a lot of pages and groups for that reason, I love music the most. I like people, good people, not the assholes. Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of assholes in real life; most of the people I’ve had online have been pretty decent. People always say that you have to be careful when interacting with people on the internet, which is true. However, I’ve found that I’ve had better experiences with people on the internet than I have had in real life. I’ve had too many toxic people in real life, throughout my life. I have come across toxic people online as well (people who I don’t know in real life) but I’ve come across a lot less toxic individuals online than I have in real life. Most of the people who have caused trouble to me online are the toxic people I’ve known in real life. I’ve had too many toxic people in my circle, at school, in friendship groups, and even family members.

                I don’t want to waste time on those who think they are better than other people, who look their nose down on other people and feel that they are somehow superior. I don’t like conceited people. I’ve come across too many passive-aggressive people who feel that they are self-important. I’m over friends who expect me to carry the weight of the friendship around and put little effort in themselves. I really wish I could be cold and heartless like them but I’m not.

                I don’t mind if people are busy, I just want people who are genuine in my life and not fake, not pretending. I’ve gone through some heavy shit through life, and I just want real people, genuine people, trustworthy good-intentioned people. I like people, just not the people who cause trouble and who are cruel. I just want real friends and good people in my life. I’m over the pretenders.

                It’s just time to cull the toxic people out of my life and get on with it.