#:/: headcanon

[incorrectbatfam]

Duke can see a few moments into the future but will deliver it in the most needlessly cryptic way

Jason and Bruce are arguing. Just before Jason storms off, Duke says, "If you walk out that door, you will experience unforeseeable pain and have no one but yourself to blame"

And Jason's all, "Stay out of this, Narrows"

Then he trips over his shoelace and Duke's like, "Told you so"

[plethorawrites]

Habits they break for you.

Bruce: His worst habit is the fact that he's utterly and completely unable to stop working for longer than 4 hours. And that's only because that's how long he sleeps each time. Learning to put down a file or let one of his kids handle something kills him at first, but for you, he learns.

Dick: His worst habit is his sleep. It's obscure. Unlike most of his family, who at the very least have some set pattern, he can never fall asleep at the same time two nights in a row. He'll go to sleep at 3 am one night, 6 am the next, sometimes pull an all nighter altogether. Learning to set his alarm and actually get up at the same time each day is frustrating as hell, but it's worth it if you're actually there when he wakes up instead of already at work.

Jason: His worst habit is smoking. Well, really it's the self destructive nature he embodies so well. But second to that, it's how many packs of cigarettes he goes through a week. You hate it. It gets to the point you cough when he tries to hug you. So, despite the withdrawal of it, he quits. And he thinks you don't even notice, at first. But you do. You hold him tighter, kiss him more often, and get to breathe him in without the smell making you wrinkle your nose.

[angstandhappiness]

BAH HAH

my theory is dragons kidnap princesses for the same reason they hoard gold and other treasure, which is the perceived value and the bragging rights thereof. however, unlike precious metals and gems, human attractiveness is way more subjective, so you end up with dragons calculating the most valuable princess to nab and getting frustrated when their math doesn't check out...

[colossrat]

marvel likes storms :) Batman grimaced when he received an informational pin on his communicator that a magic user had entered his city at high speed, but only sighed when he noticed that it was a member of the league. one that, despite being friendly, shouldn't be there. He threw himself back and forth between the rooftops until he reached the superhero's location. He was sitting on the edge of a considerably tall building that gave a good view of the city, but the Big Red Cheese was looking up intently to the sky, his legs swinging excitedly.

Batman: Marvel, what are you doing here in Gotham?!

Marvel: Ah, Mr. Batman! Sorry, I know you don't like visitors, but I promise I'm not here to bother you. I'm not even here on business. I'm here because of the storm that's coming!

Batman: Explain.

Marvel: Well? I just like storms. You know, flying through the heavy clouds, feeling the rain, the smell of ozone and the static. It's natural that I love this environment, you know? How when humans feel comfortable in the fetal position? Because they remember their mother's womb, or something like that. Batman saved this information to analyze later, especially the "when humans..." part which may be indicating that the captain was born from a storm.

Batman: Hmn. Don't cause trouble, and if trouble comes to you, call me first.

Marvel: ok mister! will do. And the captain salutes with a big smile. Not even Batman can deny his friendly charm, especially when he comes up with strangely interesting facts like this Now, every time Gotham is hit by a nasty storm, everyone will be ready and waiting for Marvel to be there, chasing thunder, laughing as he flies through the sky, diving head first into the drops of water and static only to fly back up again later. Every now and then he accidentally gets in the way of some evil plan (he absorbed all the rays that the villains wanted to channel to energize a weapon or bring someone back to life, perhaps) and batman just kinda dont want to comment about it Or theres Cap absorbing the most dangerous thunder, the number of accidents throughout the city greatly decreased. like trees catching fire, poles falling, generators breaking down and so on. There are several posts on the internet, even a reddit just with people saying that they saw the big red cheese playing in the storm out there, being hit by thunder on purpose and stuff Eventually he starts to feel comfortable enough in the bats city to help the citizens a little. just a little so as not to irritate his boss. He cuts holes in the clouds to create a gap of light to help a lady look for the keys she dropped on the ground. he shares some electricity for the hospital generators in case they have a problem during the storm. A large branch fell on the street and is blocking traffic? in a red blur, the branch will have been dumped in a safe environment.

Batman actually begins to enjoy the small gestures around the city, even more so because Marvel doesn't try to change her his way, just lend a hand, appreciating what she has to offer, even if that is dark and foggy skies with aggressive rays of buzzing electricity. Bruce is very happy to have someone else who likes Gotham's dark skies.

part 1 of strange facts about the captain that fill the league with "he's silly, I like him" maybe

[spocks-husband]

I feel like when Bruce first took in Duke he made a very big point of learning how to do Black hair-- and I mean, he WORKED FOR IT. He spent like a thousand dollars on supplies, learned what every possible Black haircare product does, learned 14 different braiding patterns and styles, figured out which ones would be most efficient for patrol and most comfortable under his helmet, probably started listening to soul music at some point during this process-- it was a whole thing.

And when Duke finally moved into the manor and realized that his bathroom was fully stocked with eight different kinds of conditioners, fifteen picks, twelve containers of edge controller, one of those old Hollywood Beauty Tea Tree Oil bottles, etc., he just sorta turns. And looks at Bruce. Who is standing in the doorway very nonchalantly proud of himself for being a good dad. And Duke slowly raises his hand and points at his head. Which has been shaved since well before they met. And Bruce just kinda stares back because, somehow in his weeks of preparation he didn't consider that. And even if he did have hair that needed to be styled and cared for, Duke is like 16 and definitely knows how to do that on his own at this point in his life.

And they just keep staring at each other.

Until finally Duke says "... I think I brought my own durag."

And Bruce just kinda nods and he's like "that's cool. I uh. I'll be. In my office."

And then he goes to the Batcave and stares at a wall for three hours while Duke sends a picture to the sibling groupchat and they all tell him that Bruce just has a thing about babying his kids, he kinda can't help it, he's doing his best, so Duke leaves everything there.

(Eventually, he does start growing out his hair a bit, and on occasion lets Bruce sit him down on the floor and do his cornrows and put little yellow beads at the end because it makes him happy.)

[mintsuwu]

I was going to color this... But I got lazy (?

[strawbearyxx]

⊹˚⋆ જ ꒰ thanos as your bf ꒱ જ ⋆˚⊹

⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡

~ enjoys showing you off, needs everyone to know you’re off limits

~ loves loves loves pet names

~ yaps a lot when he’s high and he’ll just keep repeating how much he loves you over and over and over (you’ll never get tired of it)

~ still tries to impress you even though you’re already dating— embarrasses himself a lot but you find it cute

~ extremely touchy, always sometimes grabs your ass in public

~ always talking to namgyu about your relationship, he knows wayyy more than he’d like to

~ brags about you 24/7, i can totally see him unironically being like “i pulled a baddie fr, my rizz is insane”

~ loves teasing you, he likes the way you get worked up over him barely doing anything

~ doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s always checking you out

~ needs you to tell him what you want, he has a hard time figuring it out on his own

~ when he’s not high he’s super sweet and cuddly with you, you wish you could see that side of him more often

~ definitely a rough and messy kisser, extremely impatient

~ practically begs you to get high with him and pouts if you don’t

~ not shy about telling you what he wants to do to you, will purposefully whisper things in your ear to fluster you

~ a little insane when it comes to you, doesn’t want anyone else near you cause you’re all his

~ so protective of you that it’s a little toxic

~ calls out namgyu for looking at you and threatens anyone who stares for too long

~ loves it when you’re needy for him, it boosts his ego

~ overall not the best bf but he’s still hot

⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡ ⟡

[mariocraft31]

oomf asked me how i personally view minecraft steve

[73lesbiansinfandoms]

This is a photo that was taken by James, but he can't stop blushing when he looks at it, so Peter put it up in their dorm as a joke but now he can't stop blushing from it. And anyone who looks at it is a mess of blush. So they all kinda avoid looking at that corner to keep their sanity

So studious 🤓☝️

[73lesbiansinfandoms]

Remus being the most werewolf unwerewolf to ever werewolf is actually giving me life right now.

He loves any sort of meat, but he can't do bones in it, or it'll have to be mince meat. Just general picky eater stuff.

He loves to bite/chew whether it is a teether or his lovers skin, but as soon as he's drawing blood, he's vomiting.

Werewolves known for being aggressive, but Remus cried the first few times he yelled at someone.

Known for running hot, but it will be 30 degrees celsius outside, and he'll be in long pants and a jumper that swallows him whole and says he's cold.

Known for being cold and distant, but Remus is a chronic clinger and hates being alone. He's also one of the kindest people any of them had met. He used to be the stereotype because his parents had scared rules for him to follow into him.

Can't think of anything else right now

[incorrectbatfam]

you know how Jesus is represented by wine and those communion wafers? (Or bread and water iykyk) Yeah so the question is what the batfamily would be represented by.

Dick: Powerade and pizza

Jason: Lazarus water and crowbars

Tim: Red Bull and embezzled cash

Damian: olive oil and pita bread

Duke: lemonade and grilled cheese

Cullen: Rockstar energy and Pez dispensers

Stephanie: milkshake and waffle fries

Cassandra: the souls of the innocent and two bagels

Barbara: green tea and chewing gum

Harper: engine oil and wood chips

Carrie: fruit punch and Girl Scout cookies

Kate: martini and batarangs

Helena: espresso and Biscoff

Luke: protein shake and Tic Tacs

Bette: pumpkin spice latte and granola bars

Alfred: Earl Gray and finger sandwiches

Selina: boxed wine and caviar on crackers

Bruce: flavorless electrolytes and credit cards

[colossrat]

Marvel is old. Like, not just bcs he is a entity of zillions of years old Billy was born and imprisoned for several years in a relatively conservative time full of prejudices.

When the time bubble pops and the League finds out about it, they expect Captain Marvel to be some kind of very close-minded, militaristic guy who will find the new generation full of sins (They don't know that in Fawcett there is so much magic, different species and queer entities that it is impossible to really be a socially backward place. They also don't know that the captain is a guy who doesn't like the police very much and his favorite sport is beating up nazis)

And well, finding out that the guy you thought would give you headaches in the modern age is actually super happy about it is kind of shocking Batman already had several slides ready to give the captain a lecture about respect

Marvel: Oh my gods, I found some pamphlets about these pride parades. Mr Batman, can I take this weekend off? I would love to go with my brother there!

Batman: Your... brother?

Marvel: Yes! Well, my whole family. We were part of some protests for the queer community in my time, but we were not part of any since the bubble. He liked the idea, but he's too shy to go alone, so me, my brothers and sisters wanna go with him to support him!

Batman: ... Of course, I will arrange for someone to take over your monitor duties

And next week there are several news about how the new-old heroes appeared on pride parade.

They help with things like free water and snacks distribution, first aid for minor injuries, they ensure that no homophobes try to start a fight, they don't let it turn into a mess and in general they also participate. They are practically all painted in colorful colors, their capes are personalized, some of them are dancing, others are further away taking care of the environment. Marvel does some magic tricks, makes rainbows appear in the sky and all that And they absolutely shower the green-suited superhero, aka they bro, with support and love. Vicki Vale and Cat Grant are dying to know why

And things like this just keep happening. Is there a protest in Asia about feminism? The Shazam family will be there, Mary and Darla protesting while their brothers stand around staring at anyone who wants to intervene. Community centers for homeless charities? captain will appear to call the public, ask for support and do some tricks to please the rich Donations to hospitals? They are all out there distributing news, asking anyone who can help, to help. A movement for teacher salary justice in Brazil? They are already there to help Or are movements taking place to preserve Brazilian flora? because of the criminal fires happening in the Amazon? They are there again, using their magic to heal what was hurt, put out what burned and protest, demanding more attention from the government. Do they want to take away land from indigenous tribes? They're going to have to go over the captain first. News broke about high levels of trash in the ocean. But Aquaman barely has time to deal with it himself, he sees his co-worker there with his family gathering pieces of trash and separating them for their own disposal, using spells to separate chemicals and water pollution. Is Gotham suffering from polluted air? The captain will gather a bunch of clouds and sprinkle them with some magic, and his raindrops will gradually purify the air for the people Is a police officer being cleared after attacking a teenager? no no no, marvel will be in front of the police station in the morning along with a bunch of civilians wanting justice Does a police car, or any car in general, have a sticker that supports some kind of tyrannical movement? apology for the Nazis? to an oppressive government? a prejudiced joke? Oh man, you better be ready for dawn with every part of this car missing, probably being sold illegally and having the proceeds sent to charity The fact that the captain calls the police bastard pigs was a shock, some got defensive and such, others thought it was great. It was a slight headache for the Justice League when it came to the media, but it's not like the government liked them before The movements in Brazil are there because im brazilian, raised by a teacher, there was no way to avoid it. Billy come to brasil <3

[flambeaufelid]

Berdly from Deltarune.

There's a scene where he unveils a big golden statue of himself, Queen looks at it and says "I did not know you had... nipples". He says, "I will soon, in our ideal world." Or something like that.

In context, the stature is hyper-masculine of course... but perhaps, to the point of parody? Is he maybe overcompensating, to hide more secret feelings?

The joke here is that birds don't have nipples. But apparently, they're a part of his ideal image. This doesn't need to be taken in a trans way...

But, as fanart proves, the boy can rock a skirt.

Not to mention, his childish views on romance, which so far? Has been all about women. Is there perhaps some psychological roadblock here, some machismo he's leaning into inauthentically, that's causing these problems?

Of course, there's been quite a lot of options to chose him over other characters, in a way reminiscent of picking a route in a dating sim. Kris is, as far as we know, nonbinary. Could they represent an inroad to Berdly considering gender and sexuality on a deeper level, if you pursue him?

...Probably not, no! For a lot of reasons! But I think it'd be cool.

If you see this post you’re legally required to tell me at least one trans woman headcanons you have for a canonically male character, I never get to see transfem headcanons like that, give me them, and for equality of my own please know estrogen could have saved Insector Haga and Dinosaur Ryuzaki I will not elaborate, also Yuya.

[gothamiaw]

I love looking at dick like he's the cool big brother that all the sibling look up to but won't say it yk.. like when Tim or damian needs help with school work they don't go to Bruce or Alfred first, it's always dick.

He just has such a reliable big bro vibe abt him idk, he feels like the brother who would pick Tim or dami up from school if they were having a hard day. Or if one of them were being picked on u know dick is on it STRAIGHT away.

Along with that he would always help with training and robin related antics, he would encourage his brothers to explore different ways to hold the robin mantle whilst also warning of the danger, always being there to make sure they are capable of themselves and the title.

[motherhahnsgirl]

Just Butch!Agatha <3

"Fuck, baby you look so fucking pretty like this." She often mutters into your ear breathlessly while pounding into you.

She'll sometimes steal your panties to rut into them. You always end up finding them washed and folded neatly on her washer. When you ask her about it she shrugs and tells you she didn't know how they got there.

She's obsessed with your stomach. She loves to leave little love bites on it and to suck marks into it right before she eats you out.

When she cums she often whines into your neck and ruts into you desperately.