#nobody look at this post

[kneelingshadowsalome]

That König moodboard is making me want a fic where a 21 year old baby!König pursues a mid-thirties depressive (like me). It just sounds like a good time.

SADFSD I would inhale this fic...

Horny age gap thoughts under the cut 🫠🧍‍♀️(I upped our baby boy to being 25 lmao I'm weak)

It’s just so attractive when a woman knows what she wants. The tired stare when he tells her he’s 25 but he’s already a captain only makes him want to prove his worth more! She looks at him like, “Excuse me but what do you bring to the table” and he could make a list for her; truly, he could! He’s so eager to please and show that he’s a man; look, he makes more money than you, too. He provides for his Mama, so don’t you even think he wouldn’t provide for you...

And why would you want a man your age when there’s a more virile option available? He has at least twenty erections per day, he’s far more fertile if you’re looking for someone to breed–uh, he means, if you’d like to have babies one day… Come on, isn’t he the perfect option for you in every way?

You’re always breathless when he leaves for work, and silently thank your guardian angels that you’re still intact… You’ve told him a hundred times he doesn’t need to prove anything to you with his dick, but he does so anyway, and you barely get enough sleep whenever he’s on leave. So eagerly he wants to show you “his new tricks”... Truly, your pussy sighs from relief whenever this crazy young man marches out the door.

And what the hell are you supposed to do with all these gift cards he sends you? Does he even listen to you when you tell him you prefer experiences over material things? Ok, he hurries to say on the phone: you can pick a vacation spot for you two. Bali, Caribbean or Cape Horn? Svalbard? No?

You like it when a man is enthusiastic and commits, but this is a bit too much… And your pantry is wrecked after his visits, frankly you feel like he’s still a boy growing up from how much he eats... Your friends call you a cradle robber affectionately, even if you scream at them that he’s 25, not 15.

Can’t a girl enjoy some hot sex here, huh??

If only he was only after sex as well, but he’s not, kneeling in front of you when you’ve only just woken up and trying to have breakfast… You almost choke on your bowl of latte when this horny puppy is suddenly at your feet, holding up a diamond ring with a wide, heart-melting smile.

It’s not even the proposal or the rock that bothers you the most: how the hell can you say no to that lost-now-found dog stare??

[ninicaise]

damen is a delulu girl only on the outside. as soon as laurent started being an asshole at the beginning of kings rising he said okay cunt you want to be mean? let's fucking play. you have no lands no allies no friends + i killed your brother + cringe + ratio. maybe he meant it maybe not but he sure did say all that

[lizbethborden]

She claims to be a gay ally but isn't cumming in my mouth rn 🤨

[whomstsnek]

hello tumblr.

how do we feel about gay people?

[infisonicosm-moved]

Just got hit by a dump truck thinking about the outtakes of this pose.

I bet he was being so goofy pretending to tango with the photographer

“Dance with me, Darling” he would say as he puts the flowers between his teeth, giving them to you as he dips you dramatically.

[wildgeesedotpdf]

need to be someone’s loyal hunting dog (sexual)

[lorephobic]

not to be tmi but the thing is right like am i ever going to be able to jerk off again normally without thinking about the w92baj wank bank incident or is cranking the hog just ruined forever now

[daisies-on-a-cup]

yaoi artists were so right fingertips really do look better when slightly red

[jellybeanium124]

similarities between izzy hands and todd hinkle: absolute shitbag of a human being but people choose to sexualize him anyways (in todd’s case “people” is me and only me)

differences between izzy hands and todd hinkle: todd has canonically kissed and fucked a man

[itsdabatt]

Some classic team-ups

What do you mean they look off. They’re bats that’s their job

Part 1

[lazylittledragon]

taking all my american followers by the shoulders. listen to me. just because you have a more promising candidate now doesn't mean you just assume it's going to be fine and don't bother voting. assuming trump wasn't going to win is how you got here in the first place so you go out and fucking vote for harris and give everyone a fighting chance.

also if you're still in the 'they're both as bad as eachother' delirium, please take your head out from between your cheeks and consider that your options are an imperfect president and the literal worst person alive who is going to get masses of people killed. i've said it like this before, but it's like deciding between maybe getting food poisoning or definitely having a brain aneurysm. take your pick i guess but don't be surprised when you drop dead.

[crabpeach]

Ugh ugh ugh

I hate that my communication skills fail me when I get upset. It feels like no one takes my work seriously. Everyone sees me as some little girl instead of a lead in the work place.

Sucks that I’m such a mouse. I wish I had more confidence

[marci11e]

the tortured poets department

[skunkes]

edit: ive updated dis post with links to the brushes i made, pls check reblogs ^_^

[pancakemolybdenum]

worlds smuggest tween owning noobs on wizard101

[dayurno]

i think they just need to nap together