#nobody be mean to me for this i havent posted writing in forever and i am fragile

[ms-all-sunday]

please give us your Nami thoughts, I love your takes on her. It can be about anything you're currently thinking about but if I could pick then could you talk in depth about what you think about the Nami & Ussop dynamic ? Like yeah it doesn't need explanation about why they're my favorite duo among the strawhats but some of the things you've said about Nami and Ussop individually were not things I had thoughts about before so I want to know what you think of Usopp & Nami

i love nami forever thank you anon this is so sweet and i feel so appreciated. i hope i dont let you down. i'll do both!

i think i havent talked formally on this blog about how nami is written in most fanfiction to other people, but i try to emphasize in my fanfiction the fact she's an abuse victim since I feel that's one of her most apparent traits. the way that she deals with trauma is very reliant on exclusively herself, something i don't think is talked about a lot is that her expectation of what she is told is true is not only reflective of how pirates are known to the god fearing public (indicative of propaganda) but that she exclusively sees herself as the exception to a lot of rules, there's this inherent close-mindedness she has but won't ever really get rid of, that naunce and the room for things to go positively can't fit within her self perception.

this is because she believes she is the only thing in life she can control, and it's a necessary self-perception to maintain the inner worldview she has.

this of course is a survival instinct inherited from her childhood. but what it speaks to i think is that in real life and one piece the anime, that abuse victims (children and teens especially) can come out with a cynical view of the world and externalize that onto others (advocating for the current dysfunctional societal systems for example like nami does in repeating wg propaganda) simply because of how much we alienate them and how that continues to give no hope to people looking for community and understanding.

i like usopp and nami. theyre my favourite dynamic as well! i think something nami is able to do with usopp and nobody else (even with women) is give him the benefit of the doubt. i think this is because she relates to him

(i think she has bpd as well but i cant decide whether thats my legitmate reading of the text or me projecting. i write her like she has bpd. you decide.)

if we look at water 7 i think she's the most sympathetic of the usopp apologists because she was very obviously coming at it from a place of understanding from usopps emotional perspective (because she relates to him and loves him) in a way that nobody else really was articulating. because she's been in that situation where she's successfully alienated herself from everybody she loves in a way nobody else on that crew related to usopp (and by extension robin) on that crew during water 7.

nami doesnt just have a relationship to usopp she could have with no other man she has a relationship to usopp she couldn't have with anybody. i think. usopp is the only one who can cross the invisible boundary of the fact she expects you to be a kiss ass towards her lest you get consequences but usopp isnt a kiss ass to her and there are no consequences. (in fact usopp is quite snarky/mean to her, which is how he is when he isn't masking and completely confident in himself: see end of enies lobby) she apologizes to him when he's snarky to her in thriller bark.

since this is a nami themed post i won't talk about usopp as much. but have you noticed? usopp is mean when he's comfortable with people. he has this attitude at the end of enies lobby as they're escaping on the merry, i think i registered it subconsciously but i only did register it consciously a few weeks ago, but if usopp is truly comfortable he's not a kiss-ass whatsoever. and he's never a kiss ass with nami.

we don't really think about it like this because people are so prone to dismiss usopp is one of those characters that have a facade of palatability when he feels he's not on the same level as someone, coming from his insecurity, but in regards to his genuine attitude we see in enies lobby and with nami that admiration is not the true breath of how he thinks about zoro or sanji or luffy. he thinks they're fucking stupid as well. and he's right. (this exact thing is another reason nami is able to emphasize with him. she thinks similarly)

this ties into both nami and usopps implementation as shonen characters. they're smart and witty and have big personalities to differentiate them from the more powerful characters, i feel this juxtaposition with more traditional shonen characters has made oda feel like he has to justify both usopp and namis existences in the story in a way he doesn't with the other characters. i think it's this element that makes them the most consistently well written throughout every arc they appear in as opposed to the other 7.

[takami-takami]

hii I love all ur posts and writing !! (bare with me english not my native language but talking with people helps)

just wanted to ask what do u think hawks would be like when thinking abt getting married, some people think he isnt that type of person more like douchebag / playboy etc but hes a sweetheart deep down considering everything that happened to him (and "mean!hawks" too IDK hes prob just a annoying tease in bed) anyways i was thinking about it earlier and i was like wtf would he do, im sure he would do it in private but other than that idk because the commission, planning, what are ur thoughts? maybe he would be really anxious thinking about it but he knows ur the one? nobody has written about this like for real ( i THINK) if u or someone else has tell me PLEASE. i"ve been thinking about it for a while (a Lil embarrassed ngl)

just asking what u think in general what he would do bc like said havent seen anyone talk about it

at the start of the relationship, he's probably like nervous to even be in one but after like 3 months or something he probably wants to be with you forever and never let u go, it would be a bit hard for him to plan it all out because he barely has anyone to talk about it other than you unless he hired someone which no.. i think because he wants to make it special from his heart + the commission giving him any time to do anything let alone a honey moon and blah ya know?

other than that im stumped no idea

(u can ignore idm !! )

(MHA season 6 episode 3 spoilers ahead!)

People say Hawks is a playboy, but that couldn't be further from the truth. He's such a sweetheart. Self sacrificing.

I think he falls hard. It is extremely difficult for him to trust, given not only his childhood, but his time with the commission, too. With the amount of undercover dirty work they made him do, there's no doubt they taught him from very young to trust no one. The message from his parents and the commission is clear: he can only trust himself.

But... We know Keigo still feels; so, so strongly. Dabi mocks him for it, mocks him because he can't stop himself from being "distracted by his emotions". Even when he knows what he's "supposed" to do in the Twice scene, he hesitates because it fucking hurts, he still feels pangs of empathy. Despite all he was taught about shutting off your emotions, that's something he still can't do completely, even if he ultimately decides to do the opposite of what he feels.

So. It would take a very, very long time for him to truly open up to you, much less recognize his feelings as romantic (he goes through a stage of denial, because he never saw himself actually being "selfish" and allowing himself a real relationship). But once he has his mind made up, and really makes that decision to be yours, he will not give that up for anything. He follows through to the end.

I think he always wanted to get married. Not in the way his parents did; he never did have a good example. But the way people on TV did, the way they wax poetic about in songs he never understood. He is definitely the marriage, soulmates kind of guy. He craves that slow, that domesticity, to protect.

You make such a good point that he wouldn't know what to do because he has no one to talk about it with... But he knows he wants it to be special. He would fret and fuss so hard about it being perfect, trying to impress you and stressing over it so badly.

Until one day, you grab his hand and tell him, "lets get married, right here. Right now." It doesn't have to be official to be entirely authentic and in love and you. To the backdrop of the dim light of a summer evening, under the flourescent glow of the string lights adorning your back porch, you have your first dance to the tune of the creaky wood beneath your feet. You dance to the tune of a love song he finally understands.

[usermoreid]

Everything Means Nothing (If I Ain't Got You)

Fic Week Day One: Favourite Character/Pairing

His ears rang as bullet after bullet flew past him, embedding themselves into the walls and floor, barely missing him as one grazed his ear and another landed only a few inches away from his knee. Without thinking, his arm instinctively shot out, wrapping around the body next to him and holding them in a tight grip as he rushed towards the door, using his own body as a shield against the rain of bullets still pouring down on them. It was mostly due to his years of training and experience that he made it as close to the door as he had but even with luck on his side, it was only a foot away from the exit that a bullet finally found its target.

With a pained cry, he shoved the girl forward, paying no mind to gentleness as ripples of agony tore through him. Her knees connected with the hard floor before a hand grasped her arm and pulled her out of the line of fire, tugging her up and dragging her away as quickly as possible. A different arm stretched out in front of him, catching him hardly a moment before he collapsed, the pain of the bullet landing in his back pulling him down faster than gravity ever could.

A warm body pressing against his own was the last thing he was aware of before everything became a blur of colours and vague shapes that he didn't care to distinguish. He was pushed every which way, less than willingly giving up control of his body, until he was suddenly horizontal despite having no memory of lying down. He tried to force his focus to turn to the voices around him but he quickly gave up, each word amalgamating into a cacophony of grotesque sounds that he eventually began fighting against, attempting to cover his ears but finding that his arms were too heavy to lift. It was a blessing when everything finally faded to darkness.

The repetitive beeping of what he assumed was his alarm was playing incessantly in his ear, shrill and loud and feeling as though it was slicing directly into his brain. He tried to force himself to roll over, needing to shut off the sound before it carved a permanent place into his skull, but he discovered that he couldn’t so much as twitch a finger, no matter how much he tried. A slight panic rushed through him, lighting his veins with fear as case after case flooded his head, reminders of where he could be and what could’ve happened to make him this way. Knowing that he needed to remain as calm and collected as possible in order to figure out his situation, he pushed them down, focusing instead on what to do next. 

It took a few seconds longer than normal to shuffle through his thoughts - God, he wanted to smash that alarm to pieces - but before long, he realised that the next logical step would be to open his eyes and assess the situation before jumping to the worst conclusions possible. The panic from before fought to overthrow him when his eyelids seemed to be almost glued shut but he repressed it further, shoving it to the very back of his mind until there was no way he could reach it. 

Suddenly the darkness seemed much less like a blessing and more of a curse that he couldn't break free from as he tried again and again to peel open his eyes to no avail, his breathing picking up pace the longer he was stuck. He needed to calm down. He needed to focus. He needed to assess the situation. Okay, he thought to himself, if I can’t see and I can’t move, what else do I do? I feel.

He centred every bit of his attention on his fingers, trying with as much effort as he could muster to figure out what he was lying on. It was soft, he noticed. Slightly scratchy but not altogether uncomfortable. Vaguely familiar, as was the smell - he’d definitely been here before. His own bed, possibly? No, not quite that familiar. A friend’s house? If it was, he didn’t know whose.

He clenched his jaw, almost resigned to being trapped in never-ending nothingness until he realised what he had just done. He’d clenched his jaw. He’d moved. Only the slightest amount, but he’d moved nonetheless. A spark of hope flickered inside of him and he didn’t put it out - if he was able to move his jaw, perhaps it wouldn’t be long until he could move his hand or open his eyes and finally find out where he is. The hope was a good thing. The hope would wake him up.

With a new found sense of determination, he attempted to move his hand. Just a little, he thought, just a twitch would be enough. He tried again and again, practically shouting at himself inside his head as the hope fought to stay alight and not dwindle. One more try. Just one more. His heart was beating so hard he was sure it could be heard outside of his chest and if the rest of his body could be felt, he was sure there’d be sweat building on it. It was as the disappointment was beginning to set in that he finally felt it - the smallest of movements. His index finger raised ever so minutely before immediately dropping back down.

The joy building inside him almost threatened to burst, he didn’t know what to do with it all. Filled with adrenaline, he pushed further. Each and every fibre of his being was concentrated on his hand until eventually he felt it again; both his index and middle finger twitched, enough that they stayed elevated for at least an entire second. Muffled voices attempted to force their way through the thick blanket of darkness covering him but he wasn’t able to make out the words. Initially that worried him, a sudden intense ball of anxiety forming at the bottom of his stomach. Random voices surrounding him when he couldn’t move; when he couldn’t see? There was no way that was anything but trouble. But he pushed on. He was so close to gaining the control of his body back, he could feel it. He had to keep going.

Disregarding the voices that had since quietened, another attempt was made, this time even more successful than the last. His whole hand slightly flexed, and he was able to wiggle his fingers a small amount. The voices returned even louder than before they had faded, one speaking over the rest. Without warning, an unexpected pressure seized his hand. 

Fight or flight suddenly activated, he fought to free himself. Whoever had him had clearly noticed his movement and was trying to restrain him, or possibly even drug him into unconsciousness. His hand curled up into a fist, preparing to throw a punch before he even knew who he’d be facing. He didn’t care who it was or how many of them were around him; all he knew was that he wouldn’t be going down as easily as they hoped.

With as much strength as he could gather in his sluggish state, he swung. His eyes still hadn’t opened but he felt the connection; heard the thud of skin hitting skin. That first contact was all the fuel he needed, both hands coming up and viciously flying through the air, striking anything close enough. Something cold pressed against his skin - a hand, he realised - and he didn’t give it a second thought before aiming in that direction. 

He didn’t stop thrashing until everything went dark once again, but only after his eyes briefly opened and he caught a glimpse of the white ceiling directly above him. 

--------------

The next time he regained consciousness, there was significantly less of a struggle. His eyes slowly fluttered open, seeing only a blur of white until he registered that he was facing a tiled ceiling. He blinked slowly at it, unable to wade through the fog that was his thoughts enough to make sense of where he was. His eyes drifted shut as he took a deep breath and cast his mind back to the last thing he could remember.

They’d been called out for a case, he knew. Women were being abducted and found three days later, their bodies beaten horrendously. The team had worked the case for several days before a solid lead was finally found, but only after another victim had been taken. They were racing against the clock to find her, knowing that it was only a matter of time before she suffered the same fate as those before her. He was the first to reach the warehouse. He was aware that protocol dictated he stay outside and wait for backup but when a scream erupted into the otherwise silent air, he rushed in, gun ready to fire and his bullet-proof vest wrapped securely around him. 

Everything that happened after was too vague to work out - everything but the throbbing pain that had spread throughout him like a wildfire. He’d been injured in some way. So where was he now?

That was the moment he remembered. The darkness. The paralysis. The hands touching him.

A sharp breath was taken in as his eyes flung open, forgetting his injury as he tried to sit up but quickly being reminded of it as the pain erupted once again and he fell back to the bed. A weak moan fell from his lips as his eyes slammed shut, the world around him swaying and spinning even after he was shielded from the bright lights by the darkness of his eyelids. A soft hand came to gently rest against his forearm and for reasons unbeknownst to him, he didn’t move it away. The blood rushing to his ears had drowned out the sound around him but now as his heart beat was beginning to slow down to a less concerning pace, the faint hush of a voice whispering soothing words to him was heard.

“It’s alright,” the voice said. “You’re alright. You’re in the hospital. You’re safe. You’re okay. I’m here with you.”

Ever so slowly, he began to calm down. The pain was no longer unbearable; the panic was no longer overwhelming. He was safe, the voice had said, and he trusted the voice. Eventually his breathing evened out and the dizzying world slowed to a stop, and so he opened his eyes to take in the room around him, though the bright lights he was immediately greeted with made that difficult. His squinting must have made his discomfort obvious as only a moment later, the hand on his arm disappeared, only to reappear once the light had been turned off. 

The room was bathed only in the evening sunlight from the windows and it helped tremendously. No longer struggling against the light, his eyes opened wider and he looked at the man in front of him. Though everything was still blurry, he could still tell who it was.

“Spencer,” he breathed out. 

A gentle smile was sent his way. “Hi, Derek.”

“What- what happened?”

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed, whether it was in concern or annoyance Derek couldn’t tell. “The unsub shot you. Don’t you remember?”

He sighed, and Spencer began lightly rubbing his hand back and forth on Derek’s arm. “I remember leaving for the warehouse but nothing much after. Did we find Abigail?”

“We did. You saved her.”

This time his sigh was in relief. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.”

“And how are you feeling?”

“How am I feeling?” Derek’s eyes filled with mirth. “I feel like I just got shot.”

Spencer rolled his eyes jokingly. “You’ve been shot before, you can deal with it.”

“Ouch, pretty boy. You’re a doctor, you should be nursing me back to health.”

“For once, I’m glad I’m not actually a medical doctor. I’m not sure I could take having someone like you as a patient.”

“Someone like me?” Derek repeated, smirking. “Someone with dashing good looks and the sense of humour to match?”

“Someone who gets himself into so much unnecessary danger as if he has some sort of death wish.”

The sudden seriousness in Spencer’s voice made him pause, smirk falling off his face as he tried to catch up with the unexpected topic change. He couldn’t tell if Spencer was still playing along with the joke or if he was genuinely upset. “I’ll be honest with you here - I have no idea how to respond to that.”

It was Spencer’s turn to sigh, the corner of his mouth turning downward as his hand stopped stroking Derek’s arm and remained still. “You could’ve died today, Derek.”

“Spencer,” Derek started, tone conveying his confusion, “we have dangerous jobs. Any of us could die anytime we go on a case. Any of us could die even just walking out of our houses. You know this.”

Spencer’s jaw tightened noticeably, his voice quietening down into a low sound that Derek strained to hear. “I know that we have an above average chance of death compared to most regular jobs, but that doesn’t mean you have to make that chance any more likely than it already is.”

“Is this about me not waiting for backup? Spencer, I heard her scream. I wasn’t just going to leave her there. And we got her, didn’t we? Abigail is safe and sound. I don’t regret my decision to go in.”

“I’m not-” Spencer made a small distressed noise before restarting. “I’m not asking you to regret your choice. I’m asking you to be more careful the next time another choice like this comes up.”

“Be more careful?” He repeated. “That’s pretty rich coming from you. We both know you would’ve done the exact same thing. At least I had the common sense to not take my vest off.”

Spencer turned away, drawing his hand back and running it through his hair before placing it in his lap. “It doesn’t matter what I would’ve done. We’re not talking about me.”

“And why not? You’re always rushing in and trying to save the day. You’ve gotten hurt on the job more often than anybody I know.”

Their eyes met, a fire behind Spencer’s that Derek had never seen. "I'm not important in this situation. You need to be careful."

"I'm an FBI agent, I'm as careful as I can possibly be."

"That’s not good enough! You got hurt today, Derek, but you survived. You might not be so lucky next time." 

"That's a risk we signed up for when we joined the FBI." They stared at each other for a few seconds, time passing slower than humanly possible until Derek lightly shook his head. "Why are you lecturing me on being safe? This could've happened to any of us."

Spencer was silent for long enough that Derek thought he was going to just ignore the question, but eventually he answered. "Because people need you. Your family needs you." He opened his mouth but instantly closed it again. "The team needs you."

Once again, silence filled the room. 

"I don't know what you expect me to say here, Spencer. I'm just doing my job. It's a dangerous job, but it's mine."

"I know it's a dangerous job, but- but-" His words seemed to be caught in his throat.

"But what?"

"But you don't understand how terrifying it is!" Spencer suddenly burst out, much louder than he had been. The volume didn't help Derek's steadily building headache but he didn't say anything, half shocked into silence by Spencer's outburst and half convinced that if he spoke, Spencer would never say what he needed to say. "You don't understand what it's like to watch you go out in the field, knowing that this case could be your last. I know that you can do your job but it doesn't stop this fear from grabbing hold of me every time you leave for an unsub and refusing to let me go until I see you again. You're more than capable of doing your job, Derek, but I don't know how capable I am of watching you walk out that door one more time."

Derek blinked at him, his mouth hanging open ever so slightly. All he'd ever wanted was to hear that his feelings - the desire, the affection, the terror, the love - were mutual, but he’d given up. He'd accepted that he'd have to move on; that Spencer would never feel the same way about him. He tried to push down the hope rising in him, knowing that this might not be the confession it sounded like, but it refused to be quenched.

"Why is it different with me? Why don't you act like this with Emily? Or JJ?" He asked. His heart was racing, the words he so desperately wanted to admit were at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't speak them aloud. Not yet. Not until he knew it was reciprocated.

"Because I'm in love with you, God damnit!" 

His eyes stretched impossibly wide, clearly shocked at himself for the outburst he presumably hadn't planned on saying. Derek froze, every atom in his body igniting with so much joy but so much panic that he couldn't utter a single word. The lack of an answer must have made Spencer uneasy, Derek realised, as words tumbled out of his mouth faster than he could process.

"I'm sorry, that was probably- I shouldn't have- I don't- you don't have to reply to that. I should just go."

It wasn't until Spencer was halfway out of his seat that Derek reacted, a hand rushing forward to grab that of the man in front of him. Spencer stopped when he felt the fingers wrapping around his own, freezing momentarily before slowly turning back around without removing his hand.

"I do understand," Derek confessed, watching the way Spencer's eyes widened ever so slightly. "You think I don't feel that same exact way about you? Every time you go to a takedown and talk to the unsub, it takes every part of me to hold myself back from running after you. The only thing that stops me is the fact that I know you can do your job."

The bobbing of Spencer's Adam's apple was visible as he gulped, looking into Derek's eyes as if he would find the words he wanted to say within them. The seconds stretched on until one of them finally found the courage to speak.

"Derek, I'm not- you know I'm not good at this. I think there's something in between the lines of that and I'm really sincerely hoping that there is and I'm not just making it up but I can't tell if it's me imagining it or if you're genuinely saying what I think you're saying and if you're not saying that then this is going to be really embarrassing and I don't-"

"Spencer," he interrupted, shaking his head fondly before taking a breath, "you're right. I'm…" Derek paused, a sudden fear taking over him. He looked into Spencer's eyes, seeing the anticipation and excitement that was in them. Spencer must have sensed his trepidation as he placed his hand back where it was before, resting gently on Derek's forearm. The instance their skin touched, the anxiety calmed. He breathed in deeply once more and smiled softly at him. "I'm in love with you."

The look in Spencer's eyes was something that Derek knew he would never forget even if he never saw it again, though he would do his absolute best to recreate it any chance he was given. The glint of happiness made his eyes shine brighter and the slight disbelief made them open wider, showing Derek even more of that colour that had long ago become his favourite.

"You mean that?" Spencer asked softly.

"Of course I do," he replied at the same volume. "How could I ever meet somebody like you and not instantly fall in love?"

Spencer's face split into a grin, unshed tears making an appearance at his waterline as he sat back down in his seat. "You're so cheesy."

"Cheesy is a good thing, pretty boy. Everybody loves cheesy."

His smile dropped into a mocking seriousness. "I'm lactose intolerant."

"Oh, you are?" He laughed, receiving a mirthful 'mhm' in confirmation. "Well, I guess you're really gonna have to figure something out because you're about to get a whole lot more cheesiness in your life."

The hand on Derek's forearm drifted down towards his wrist, the light touch leaving goosebumps in its wake. Their fingers interlaced before Spencer delicately squeezed. He looked up at Derek with such a tender look on his face that Derek envied Spencer's superior memory, if only to commit just this one scene to a permanent place in his brain.

"I think I can definitely figure something out." He said. "Just for you." 

"I quite like the sound of that." For a moment they simply smiled at each other, Derek's thumb stroking the back of the hand that was in his before he noticed something now that his vision had cleared. His other hand raised, cupping the face looking down at him. "What's this?" He asked, referring to the red mark staining Spencer's skin at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, that's, um…" Spencer's own hand lifted, resting on top of Derek's. "You probably don't remember the first time you kind of woke up, do you? You freaked out a little."

"I remember," Derek said quietly. "I did that?"

"You did, but it really does look worse than it is. You know I bruise easily. It doesn't hurt at all, it was pretty much just a light slap."

Derek sighed, knowing that Spencer was telling the truth but not liking it anyway. "Still, I'm really sorry."

"Well, there is one way you could make it up to me." Derek felt the small smirk stretching the skin beneath his hand.

"Oh? And how's that?"

Spencer's eyebrows raised slightly as the smirk grew wider. "Kiss it better?"

A grin found its way to Derek's face. "Is that the doctor's orders?"

Spencer nodded, pretending to be serious. "Absolutely, it is. It's the only cure actually."

Derek hummed. "Well, if the doctor says so."

He leaned forwards and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Spencer's mouth, looking into Spencer's eyes as he pulled back slightly, barely an inch between them. He watched as they flickered shut, immediately missing the brown and gold. Pressing forward again, he finally did what he had wanted to for years.

When their lips touched, there were no fireworks, no sparks, but there was definitely something. Something that filled his entire body, made his nerves light up and his skin feel as though it was on fire in the most pleasant way possible.

He wanted to kiss Spencer forever, and he intended to do just that.

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[an0nymousghost]

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring. 

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files 

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze​ is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though 

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient. 

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays. 

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save. 

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet. 

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them. 

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out 

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds. 

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah. 

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no. 

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think! 

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes. 

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives. 

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are: 

paisley and alari started dating during this 

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators. 

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff. 

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip. 

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves. 

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do. 

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so 

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

[miiilowo]

I. Im very curious about the pink haired enderman oc 👉👈 where are they from?? What do they doo?? This is a ramble as much as you want to ask :D

RUBBING MY LITTLE GREMLIN HANDS TOGETHER (also sorry about the late answer, my internet went out as i was writing this)

he’s for an smp im on! :D we decided that we wanted to do rp stuff for fun (hasnt really happened but some characters exist) and i decided to make an enderman character because i just. love them so much

the idea is that one of the smp members went to the end and made an enderman grinder. for whatever reason (havent figured out what the reason is yet) she decided that my funky little guy was special and decided to keep him. kind of like adopting them.

Afterward she made him king of the end because shes a human who thinks she has power over just about everything. for that reason i spent like 3 days building a castle on the server.  He does not take his role as a king seriously whatsoever, and never goes to the end. Why, you may be asking?

When you kill the ender dragon you get the achievement ‘free the end’, which doesnt Sound Like Endermen Had A Fun Time, so im just going to assume he has very bad memories associated with that place

since you mentioned it, his hair is not Actually pink, in fact, he’s bald, but he likes color a lot and so he made a wig (plus he wants to fit in with his mom and other people more) ((also my hair is just pink and he’s an adaptation of another persona i have but we can ignore that)). colors and flowers and stuff are something he enjoys because its a nice difference in comparison to the end which is mostly just . beige and black and purple sometimes 

He’s relatively good at english, and really loves writing and stories and books!!! i have a groovy lil library in my castle and a notebook/journal i track events of the smp in. im THIS CLOSE to copying the personal poems ive done into a bunch of books and selling them on the server for shits and giggles

My castle is one of the cooler builds on the server so new members stop by and stay there for a while before they head off on their own. so, i decided to turn that into him really wanting people to hang around, but they keep leaving and he gets kinda sad about that. id hate living in a big fucky castle and then peepo just stop by then exit after like 4 days. as a result he now has one crazed little clown friend who he is overly attached to despite her probably not being good for his mental health. theyre. working on that. though. i think. that character belongs to my friend loserchips, aka my best friend and the gal who drew my icon, which is also the enderboy!!!!!!

he has a big pile of gems in his throne room that he is absolutely Not willing to share because ive decided he loves shiny things. He also does have some enderman behavior that ive incorporated into how i play:

- cant go in water unless wearing full armor

- cant be in rain without a hat on at LEAST

- afraid of eye contact/doesnt look people in the eye

- climbs on shit and up the vines all over the castle. this scares people occasionally because hes already tall

- he isnt very good at teleporting and when he does he kind of zaps all over the place. due to chorus fruit i have ended up in countless ravines, creeper holes, roofs, tunnels, and houses against my will. it only worked out ONCE, where i was in a friends bakery, and she said to come upstairs. i ate a chorus fruit absentmindedly and teleported right in front of her. im counting this as him getting better at it

- i also am located in a savannah thats right next to a desert because it never rains there and he likes dry places for obvious reasons

- this was mildly inspired by endermen behavior. hes incredibly docile and friendly, but when he’s pushed a little too far he fucking snaps. the best example of this happening on the smp so far was when someone he was planning to live with forever left the castle, took some of his shit, then proceeded to fuck with him by showing him multiple double chests full of ender pearls. i then set fire to his house. (this character was also just genuinely scary and threatened him and killed him multiple times so i think that counts too. i now have his armor set)

theres a grave in my yard thats just a chest full of ender pearls people have given me because they think itd be funny. i am the main character i do not care

i put a little bit of Me into him, which means he loves to collect a bunch of items. anything he finds even a little cool he keeps. i have so many chests and theyre all so cluttered god help me

once bundles are added im absolutely going to have him carry around a sack of flowers that he gives to people

He has a really pretty royal outfit, and just casually wears it around the castle because he thinks he looks good in it

Also! he has three ‘sons’ which are just endermen i captured and put in boats. two of them i got before i had the enderman character idea. their names are ranboo and ran2. i think that is kind of funny

the third one is named hubert. hes bad at his job of guarding the villager cages

im very tempted to get him an enderman husband that sits in the bedroom or throne room. how the FUCK will i get him up there? i genuinely have no idea, but i know i wanna do it really bad

and some just. random stuff about him. ive been searching for a zombified hoglin named benjamin that i was introduced to on the first day of the server. I Know he exists. Hes in a sewer pipe behind spawn. im one of the few people who knows about his existence, and for the love of all that is holy i CANNOT FIND THE FUCKING HOGLIN and its driving me insane. if we translate this to my character, the only time hes left his castle in like a month is to find a hostile pig creature nobody knows exists and hes been rambling about it searching a swamp for days on end

also if he were living in this world and time, he’d listen to hyperpop and be put into a fucking trance by it because its just So Much on his little enderman brain. so much. i dont like hyperpop really but he Absolutely would

also!!!!!!!!!!! hes very good at knitting! very good! at knitting! the castle was super dull and gray so he decided to spice it up one day and now theres plants and flowers everywhere-alongside a giant carpet of his face. yes this actually exists. i have a rug of my skins face on the floor of one of my rooms. in this room is a bunch of wool and sewing stuff. i like to think he makes his own clothes.

something i forgot to mention is that hes somewhat wary of people, and doesnt like to kill mobs. The clown character i mentioned is a human, but she kind of died and came back to life (totems of undying you know) and as a result he likes her more because in a sense she is somewhat undead. just a cool little character bit i thought was neat :]

i feel like he wants to play an instrument but he cant because his hands are too clunky and big and long

but! anyway, thank you for letting me ramble about my beloved son!!!!!! im thinking of naming him finn, but i might just keep it as milo for simplicities sake. since thats my name. also i thought i should tell you that i had you in mind when i made the ‘if yall wanna talk to me’ post. very poggers

endermen are friend shaped and so is he i promise <3

[commanderkallian]

wip wednesday!

i cant believe i have smth to post two weeks in a row! i havent written more than like half a drabble at a time since middle school, dragon age rly is wild. thank you @hawkeish for tagging me again, i tag @bunjolras @ringofdoubt & @elvhenwolf ! no pressure if you dont want to, & if i didnt tag you feel free to say i did anyway and tag me in it, id love to read everyones work!

posting an extra long one today because next wednesday is my birthday(!) and i dont wanna leave yall hanging if i dont make it online 😅

so uh, take some post-blackwalls personal quest inquisitor stress, because im playing mostly blind and having blackwall (unintentionally) come so thoroughly for taralens life threw me for a loop and i had to write smth for it

I killed innocent people. One moment of courage will not make up for that.

Up in his grand Skyloft bedroom, the Inquisitor paces. Every moment since he walked out of that Val Royeaux prison, his thoughts have been circling madly, fixated on the tiniest turns of phrase. It had to be a jab at him, couldn’t be a coincidence, Bl- Rainier had to have figured him out and, on death row, decided to let him know just what he thought about this whole ruse.

When it came to light, I ran. Pretending to be a better man.

He’s not a better man. Blackwall is a better man. Rainier is.. a man who is better than he was. But Taralen? What makes a better man when the one who committed the crime wasn’t one? He wonders, not for the first time, if everything about him is fake. Maybe this was all conjured up in that Dalish camp, his mind trying desperately to distance itself from what its body had done. Something heavy twists in his gut and his steps falter. Is the feeling genuine distress from the thought or is it just an admittance of guilt? How can he know? He starts walking again.

One mistake, and everything I worked for fell apart. I betrayed the Empire and assassinated a general. All for gold.

All for gold. One mistake. Is it all for gold when you need the gold to survive? Rainier had respect, a station of his own, power and command and purpose. He didn’t need like Taralen had. What did Taralen have without that job? Wrinkled fingers and sewing needles? Saving for a year just to have one sovereign? He’d be married off by now, still working even with a bairn on each hip. 

His stomach twists again, something cold and hard and aching settling there, and he has to open up those grand doors for the breeze so he doesn’t heave right there on the perfect stone floor. He’d’ve made a terrible mother. (a redheaded mother guarantees a brat.) There would’ve been nobody to interrupt Corypheus but him. Both feel equally important to have avoided. Selfish. Selfish.

They believe it because that’s what you tell them.

There was no other choice to be made. A Nevarran woman in his face, threatening him and shouting about something he’d done, someone he’d killed, and he panicked. Only mostly a lie. It had almost been true, once. Something safe he knew how to play along with for the most part. But then it grew and they grew and so did the questions.

(A Dalish girl, kneeling beside him at the river, trying to help him decide as they washed. Belavahn, she suggests teasingly, one with many questions. He’d flicked water at her face and she’d laughed. What does Itha mean? he asked after. One who sees. It’s not for you, though. It’s mine. A tongue stuck out at him. His turn to laugh.)

When they ask his surname, he does not know how to say he never had one, so he says Belavahn instead. A good name for an Inquisitor. Too good. Nobody has said anything yet but someday, somebody will notice and point fingers and it’ll all crumble down.

(I apologize, Inquisitor, but we were unable to contact or even locate a Clan Belavahn. Fear crawling up his throat. Caught. Have to fix it. Belavahn is.. my family name. My clan was Lavellan. Writing a desperate letter that night, begging please, Itha, ask the Keeper to play along. I will grant Clan Lavellan any aid they need, just do me this one final favor and say I’m one of you. The response a month later, simple. Lethallin, you always were.)

And so he’s laughed off questions about his childhood, lied about his age, been brutally honest about how little he was able to bring to the clan, that’s why I hadn’t earned my vallaslin yet, I would’ve gotten it after the Conclave if I’d brought home good information about what was to become of the Dalish mages, and dug himself deeper and deeper into his hole. He fears it may become his tomb. Not burned, because the Dalish don’t do that, but thrown deep underground and covered up forever. Nevarrans don’t burn their dead either, he thinks, then tries to stop thinking because he really would prefer if he could stop feeling ill soon.

[microfeelings]

You know I just realized how rude of me it was to just post the fantasy AU and never elaborate further on, so I'll do my best to write down the most important things from this universe (no timeline because lmao how does a timeline even work)

For Arin it would be the fact that he grew up on a tribe of half orcs, (his mother is a druid orc, and takes care of the horses that help them move around, his father is an elven bard, and because of this he looks less orcish and more femenine than other half-orcs his age, it bothers him at first but he learns to live with it) and when he is of age decides to leave to experience the world on his own and find a meaning to being alive, (he feels like he needs to find a purpose) trains as a barbarian, but leaves before finishing his training and starts taking adventures for money, (freelance adventurer babyy) at this time he cuts off his long hair and buffs out(is that the word??) his tusks (cause he believes hes not that good for his orc part), thats when he meets Ross, (who is trying to kill him but this doesnt bother the man) they travel together for a couple of years and then Ross leaves him for some pirates in the ocean (Or something like that?? Unclear undecided lmao). Then Dan comes into the equation, not much later Suzy, then Ross (who is kind of an on and off character traveling with them), and Brian (same with Ross, but hes justified because he has a family)

The story with Dan is more complicated (and angstier oh yeah). I still havent worked on his whole childhood part, but on his 150 and beyond he was kind of a free spirit, traveling as a bard, with literally anyone who might wanna join, meeting lots of people and sleeping around, he was more of a lover and the works he took were more on the entartaining side than the slaying, he lived without much care up until he was 200 when he met a tiefling lady whom he fell in love with and was decided he wanted to marry, the problem is that they had different views on life (since she was ready to settle down, meanwhile Dan was more of a "keep seeing the world"), even tho he was ready to leave it for her she told him to keep traveling and that she was going to be waiting for him when he was done. At this time (look you really must have bad luck Dan) he fell ill and into a coma of 50 years, when he woke up he found himself in a world where a lot of things had changed, and the woman he loved was dead. Devastated and with nowhere to go he just decided to keep working and travelling, so he joined a band of mercenaries where he met Brian, altho kind of violent (on Brian's side), they hit it off inmediatly and became very close, enough so that Brian presented him to his family, still Dan felt that he needed to keep travelling to fill the void he felt in his heart (and also because Brian was a human, and he couldnt bare the thought of losing him as well, and it was easier to just avoid it by leaving even if it made him feel like a coward). Then he met Arin, Suzy and Ross (I feel like their adventures all together deserve a different post)

Suzy is also kind of a work in progress (I still havent completely decided what drove her to leave her forest so the story might change from post to post). She lived in the forest her whole life (childhood undecided) and when she was around 200 met Arin when he was a teen, they became friends and Arin basically talked his whole life with her, eventually Arin left and Suzy kept living in the forest until a village started growing just outside it and started being rude and mindless on how they treated her forest, so she decided to talk to the townsfolk, they ignored her so she resolved into using fear tactics and that worked for a while, but now her forest was known as a dangerous place where no smart person went, aka a perfect place for mercenaries and other shady groups. She went to the town asking for help but people were either afraid or mad at her (Suzy is not having a nice day) but thankfully Arin and Dan were passing through town when she went to the folk so they decided to help her (sweet reunion between Arin and Suzy <3 the man has bad memory but he still remembered his childhood best friend, also she looks the exact same so... kinda hard to miss, Suzy has thoughts about the beard but this post is not about that). Still not decided why she left the forest (by all acounts it doesnt make sense, but I wanted her traveling with the boys) maybe she convinces the townsfolk to treat the forest better or something cheesy like that lmao.

From this point on the stories become less and less thought out

Ross as a tiefling was always an outcast, and you know what they say, treat someone like a monster and they will become one, he became a warlock at an early age (undecided but he was young) to a demon who would ask him all sorts of favors, one of them being killing Arin: the one favor Ross failed to do, because after trying to murder the man they both got into a life threatening sittuation where Arin saved his life and Ross thought "oh fuck, hes nice". They began travelling together and tho Ross tried to kill Arin a couple more times, tho he could never comit and ended up leaving him so the demon wouldnt find him (or something, how has the demon not killed Ross yet? Loophole! What loophole? I dont know, I havent thought about it yet). He left to travel the seas for a while and met a bunch of people but eventually came back to land and back to traveling with Arin because no one was as cool as him (I guess?) Gets along with Suzy and Brian cause they're scary, and likes to mess with Dan cause its really easy to do (and also because hes jealous of his relationship with Arin lmao) but they get along when its necessary.

Brian's whole life before joining the mercenary is a whole mystery, nobody knows anything about the man, the only person who knows his backstory is Dan, but even he is unsure because he always changes the story (one of them is the true one, which one Danny boy?). All everyone knows it that after Dan left the mercenary group, Brian wanted to retire as well, but the leader wouldnt let him since he was one of the best in their group, and threatened to get his wife and child if he left, so he took one last job to kill a certain Half-orc (everyone wants Arin death, why? I dont know) and after that went as well as expected (lots of knives, Dan trying to convince both Arin and Brian not to kill each other), the group decided to help Brian kill his own mercenary group. He sometimes joins the group on some adventures (Brian's house is one of their many 'safe houses') still enjoys to sometimes stab Dan and Arin, but knows better not to mess with a fucking druid and warlock

Also if you wanna write or draw related to this au, I will love you forever, you can tag it as fantasy grumps, or tag me (but honestly I dont trust tumblr, so you can just message me about it)

[caroldanvers616]

Ghost

Clint x reader

8 - "isn't this view beautiful? It takes my breath away, well it would if I had any"

18 - "we're dead I don't think we have very much to worry about anymore"

This is for @the--sad--hatter hatterween writing party! :)

Warnings: mini anxiety attack, ghosts, bodies, references to death also mention of throwing up, none of its graphic though

Just a routine mission they said.

You and Clint approached the old warehouse where an arms deal was meant to be going down.

You'll be in and out before you know it.

You made your way through the back entrance and hid behind some conveniently placed boxes whilst listening to the trade go down.

It wont take that long you guys are pros.

Suddenly one of the so called 'pros' sneezed loudly causing an echo throughout the building and the gang of thugs to turn to where you were hiding.

You were going to murder Clint.

Suddenly there was a loud bang as the boxes you were both hiding behind were blown away, before you could even grab your gun you were out like a light.

You woke up to an empty warehouse with Clint standing by the broken window, he looked almost translucent in the morning sunlight, you must have been out all night.

But something didnt add up, the bad guys were gone and for what you could see you were both perfectly fine, not a scratch on either of you.

"Isn't the view beautiful, it takes my breath away, well it would if I had any" Clint joked as he turned to you.

The ware house was on top of a hill over looking the ocean and you had to admit if it wasnt being used as a gang meetup it would be very nice to live here and-

"What did you just say?"

"And they call me the deaf one! Views nice"

"No I mean about the breath bit? If you had any?"

"Oh, you haven't noticed?" He nodded to the floor where you had woken up from behind you.

You turned around to see two bodies, but not just any bodies.

Yours and Clint's.

You found yourself gasping for air which was ironic as you were definitely dead and not only did you find out that ghosts exists but they can also have anxiety attacks.

Clint ran over to you, placing his hands on your arms to steady you.

"Hey its ok-"

"How?! How is this ok?! Were dead! In a warehouse! Nobody knows!..."

"Nick knows" he interjected.

"But how long will it take for him to get us?! To notice we're in trouble?! Are we stuck here forever?!"

"Well it's not so bad... come look at the view"

"I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT THE VIEW!"

"Hey just, quit stressing ok theres no point right now..."

You started to laugh manically.

"You're right, were dead now so I suppose we dont have very much to worry about anymore! We've got all the time in the world!" You stopped laughing and put your head against his shoulders as he held you in his arms, rubbing your shoulders to soothe you.

"I'll never even find out who won the Great British Bake Off" you murmured into his chest.

"Who cares it's all a scam anyway"

"You're only saying that because they wouldnt let you judge, or 'hang out and try free samples as a sign of unity between the uk and the avengers'"

"Yeah! Because the cake is a lie! They couldnt have me judge because I'd out them! And the second message was Fury's idea"

"Oh I'm sure" you narrowed you eyes and nodded your head along teasingly.

"Its true! He sent an email saying he would be busy all day with meeting so we shouldn't disturb him, I finished my paperwork and went up to his office to hand it to him only to find him screaming at the tv because one of the contestants added salt instead of sugar by mistake! He made me promise not to tell or he'd kill me but... he might be a little late for that..." you both started to laugh.

You found out that you could pretty much go wherever you wanted as ghosts, you didn't even get that tired.

You sat down under the trees in the park, for once your hayfever wasn't acting up so you could enjoy the ambiance for everything.

You just sat there cuddled with Clint, your head on his shoulders, watching the world around you.

If this was how you had to spend forever maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Suddenly your vision shifted and you went really dizzy.

You woke up again in the med bay of the quinjet.

A strange man with a red cloak was peering over you.

"They're back" he managed to say to someone.

You couldn't tell who though as you leaned over and threw up all over him.

"Yeah, that's a common side effect, here have some water" the man stated handing you a glass.

The man was called Dr Strange and he explained about how a wizard had used a spell to shoot your souls out of your bodies, Strange had noticed your souls were wandering around town and contacted the avengers, who then found your bodies and a simple soul reversal spell put you back where you came from.

"So... we're not dead?" Clint spoke up looking slightly dazed from it all.

"You're very much alive" Strange replied.

"Thanks for getting us back and uh sorry for throwing up on you" you spoke up timidly.

"Its ok this happens more than you'd think" And with that he smiled at you both before leaving.

You smiled to yourself slightly.

"What?" Asked Clint bemused.

"You think I could get some time off if I threatened Fury that I'd tell everyone his little secret?"

"I think he'd kill you" Clint laughed.

"Well then I'd just haunt him" you laughed along with him.

Being a ghost was fine.

But feeling your heart beating? The heat in your face as you laughed along with Clint? The joy of everything.

Being a ghost was fine.

But being alive was so much better.

Masterlist

A/N: sorry that I havent posted in ages I've been abit ill and my minds kind of been everywhere, still is abit so sorry if this is messy lol

[zerochanges]

Valentine’s Chocolates and Glass Masks

The romance genre in anime is a little weird, and honestly on the whole the majority of the genre in anime is probably a bit too slow for its own good. “Will they or won’t they” is something most romantic fiction is guilty of, but I think you’d be hard press to come across 150 episode TV series dedicated solely to that premise anywhere else. And this has nothing on the pure silliness that can come with the genre; hand holding, indirect kisses, masked secret admirers, all that good stuff. Really, I’m not here to trash talk romantic anime though, but as I sat down and tried to think about writing a Valentine's Day blog post I just couldn't help but think to myself how romance anime might be the hardest to explain to anyone not in the fandom. I mean, I think I’d have an easier time explaining the plot of any given saga in DBZ than I would explaining “Notice me, senpai” to somebody.

You know what though, I kind of ironically enjoy all of this. Yeah, pure romance anime can be cheesy, but it’s just the right amount cheese that it’s like, c’mon, how can you not enjoy this? Perhaps the worst (or best!) offender of this are older shoujo titles where they can seem almost downright like a soap opera at times. Shows like these are just so full of bizarre, off-the-walls, and over-the-top melodrama that they manage to suck me completely in. They’re heartbreaking, they’re engaging, and the times when they fail at being those things they are hilarious. 

My most recent experience with an older shoujo title like this would have to be studio Eiken’s 1984 adaptation of Glass Mask. Now Glass Mask (or Glass no Kamen as it is known by some) is a manga that started life in 1976 and to this day has yet to be finished, with the manga creator Suzue Miuchi stating she would like to finish it soon, but hasn't quite figured out when that will be (move over Hunter x Hunter fans). Having been one of the earlier shoujo titles starting back in the mid-70’s the series is full to the brim with pretty much every cliche and trope you can think of for shoujo anime, and to a modern audience it can often be almost hilarious at times to sit through. It is important to remember that for its time Glass Mask was a trend-setter and arguably if not the creator than certainly the reason why a lot of these cliches became cliches in the first place. Over the years Glass Mask has received its fair share of adaptations and even parodies, and currently has 3 different animes as well as a live action drama series and real life stage plays based on it. I heard the most recent anime, the 2005 TMS adaptation of Glass Mask, does a pretty great job at modernizing several aspects of the series, but unfortunately I have yet to watch that to weigh in so all I can say is that I was inundated with more cliches than I could count and laughed a ton while watching the 1984 series and I loved every minute of it. 

Glass Mask is the story of a young 13 year old girl Maya Kitajima, who has a dream to be a great theatre actress. Unfortunately for Maya she’s from a very poor family, and even more unfortunately for her, she is incredibly average looking with no flair--and don’t worry, the anime will remind you of that fact countless times every episode. Despite her damnable curse of “just looking kind of average” Maya will stop at nothing to pursue her dream and eventually runs away from home after getting a scholarship for an acting school. There, the enigmatic Chigusa Tsukikage notices Maya’s talents and takes her on as her protege. Soon, Maya learns that her mentor Tsukikage was once a legendary actress thought to be truly one of the all time greats who due to a tragic Phantom of the Opera style accident had her face hideously scarred and retreated out of the spotlight. 

Tsukikage is looking to pass on her talents to the future generation and eventually pass on her greatest possession, the rights to the elusive Crimson Goddess play--a supposed legendary masterpiece that has not been seen by anyone in decades; not since Tsukikage’s career ruining accident. For some reason the director and creator of the the Crimson Goddess play saw it fit to beseech all the rights to his masterpiece to Tsukikage and thus nobody else has been able to produce this elusive phantom play since. It won’t be easy for Maya and the Tsukikage acting school, as media conglomerate and mega corporation Daito Entertainment will stop at nothing to get the rights to the Crimson Goddess, and isn't afraid to sabotage them at every step of the way. Perhaps Maya’s greatest rival however is the young Ayumi Himekawa, the daughter of an already famous actress who is said to be the favorite to inherit the Crimson Goddess role, and is everything Maya isn't; beautiful, rich, famous and well loved by all, and while not a student of Tsukikage she is more than willing to pass on the rights to Himekawa if Maya fails to prove herself.

It’s easy to already see the cheesiness just from me trying my best to summarize the basic plot, and we haven’t even gotten into the romances yet. Maya’s relationship with the young Yu Sakurakoji is fairly simple at first, as he helped rescue her from a feral dog and despite being in rival acting schools--one affiliated under Daito no less, he’s a pretty chill guy that enjoys spending time with her and doesn't care about all that stuff. It’s only after Maya starts to take off in her career that Sakurakoji starts to spiral into this insane inferiority complex centered around her, where he thinks she has become too good an actress for him to be around anymore and starts to give her the cold shoulder all because of his own make-believe shortcomings. It’s very odd and sudden, and the entire thing is blown out of proportions as Maya clearly does not think that and Sakurakoji eventually has to be lectured by bad boy Masumi of all people to come around and start spending time with Maya again. Even after this however it isn't like the old days anymore and the gap that was created from his own complex still lingers.

And oh boy, don’t get me started on Masumi, he’s quite the character. Masumi Hayami is the 24 year old son of the president of Daito Entertainment and is currently running the corporation in his father’s stead. Masumi serves as both an antagonist and love interest (because of course he can be both) in the early parts of the story and is often behind some (but not all) the sabotage done to Tsukikage’s acting school. Masumi will eventually take a more reasonable approach when it comes to trying to yank the rights of the Crimson Goddess away from Tsukikage’s hands as the anime progresses, often just by having his acting school beating Tsukikage’s students in contest and the like, and it’s here where we usually see Masumi’s employees that work under him being the more underhanded characters instead of Masumi directly engaging in the conflict.

Despite being on different sides, so to speak, Masumi catches one of Maya’s earliest performances, her role as Beth in Little Women, and falls in love with the young girl, impressed by both her potential as an actress and her fortitude for going on with the show despite suffering from a dangerously high fever and immediately being rushed to the doctors after the curtains fall. From this point on her takes the role of “Mr Purple Rose” named for the bouquet of purple roses he sends to her at every show. As her secret admirer and the first fan Maya has ever had he means a lot to her yet as his true identity of Masumi he’s an enemy that Maya cannot stand to breathe the same air as. So in short, Masumi is just your average 24 year old CEO of a mega corporation crushing on a 13 year old girl from a small acting school he is trying to ruin and also her secret admirer. Somehow Masumi is one of the best characters in the series, and is my best boy. Only in shoujo!

So far I've been having some cheap laughs at the expense of the 1984 Glass Mask anime but it’s not all like this. The over-the-top bombardment of old school shoujo cliches and the laughs I got from them may be one of the most memorable component of my viewing but there’s actually a lot more to this anime than that. When you get beyond the silly age gap romances and the flowery melodrama of young teenage love, Glass Mask is a story of artists trying to pursue their passions and dedicating their everything to them. Maya may be cursed to forever be “only average looking” but I really respect her drive to dedicate her entire life to theatre. 

Well, that is to say, the times when she isn't acting like punching bag to the rest of the cast (Glass Mask has a tendency to make Maya into a Cinderella surrounded by tons of wicked stepsisters). When Maya is written not as a Cinderella she’s fiercely determined, and never backs down despite some straight-up abusive behavior she is put through. At times her mentor Tsukikage is absolutely savage, regularly beating Maya and putting her through some training that is definitely highly illegal, at least for today’s standards. For instance she once threw Maya in a shed and locked the door refusing to let her out until she finally understood her character she was assigned. Did I mention it was in the middle of the freezing cold winter and snowing out and Maya only had the clothes on her back for warmth? She was out there for days with no food, water, or even warmth. But don’t worry, she had her script to read and that made it all okay. Like goddamn, somebody call child protective services on this lady.

Speaking about “the art” and everyone’s passions, the more you watch the series the more it becomes obvious that the creator, Suzue Miuchi, really cares for theatre and isn't just using it as a vehicle to propel her own story. There are countless renditions of classic plays shown in Glass Mask, such as the mentioned already Little Women, The Miracle Worker, and Wuthering Heights, just to name a few. Some of these plays are presented without any changes while others may have reinterpretations made to them by the characters who are trying to give their roles a life of their own away from the original source material. Miuchi very much understands theatre and does a great job converting many famous plays into a more compressed and easily digestible form of entertainment that can be viewed on a week by week bases. The analysis characters give about the plays and other characters’ performances, the ways characters interpret their parts, and how the plays that we are privy to see in the series end up all show a deeper understanding of the medium. Watching Glass Mask is almost like taking a beginning course in theatre that covers all the classics, only with way more melodrama and over-the-top romance than you will find in your local theatre group. I hope.

What’s the most impressive however goes beyond just Miuchi’s renditions of other classic works and instead are her own plays that she creates herself. As not only does Glass Mask use pre-existing plays it also has its own original productions that will spring up in-between the real world plays. A lot of these self created plays are very enjoyable too, and some feel way more fleshed out than they have any right to be and you often find yourself regretting that you are only privy to a small part of the performance and not able to just sit there and watch the entire play like the characters in the anime do. Maybe that’s why it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that some of the plays Miuchi has created for her manga have later been adapted into real life plays in Japanese theatres. This is probably the greatest testament to the series’ popularity right there, where its own fictional works are turned real. I can’t think of many examples of something like that happening before.

I’d be remiss not to mention the visual aspect of this series before wrapping up my thoughts on it too. While certainly no powerhouse in animation, Glass Mask 1984 goes for a more picturesque route, and does a great job with tons of beautiful still shots and intricately detailed background images. It’s a humble production but with the right use of lighting a lot of scenes can really shine (pardon the terrible pun it was an accident), especially the night shots which can be pure art. Hang it in a museum, I say. I’m almost surprised we don’t see more “aesthetic” anime blogs mining images from this series. Veteran director Gisaburo Sugii (Dororo, Touch, Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix) leads the production with skilled marksmanship you would expect from his previous (and future) pedigree, and along with legendary animator the late Shingo Araki (Ashita no Joe, Galaxy Express 999, Saint Seiya) the series has a wonderful 80’s flair to it that just fills any retro anime fan full of nostalgia whether or not they have seen the show before.

Studio Eiken’s 1984 Glass Mask adaptation is a short, briskly paced 22 episode series that is easy on the eyes and not hard at all to still sit through for modern audiences. It’s full of tons of laughs (both ironic and sincere) as well as tons of melodrama and over-the-top romance. Most importantly though, it’s a full of passion; lots and lots of passion. During its short episode count the series watches Maya progress as an actress and grow older, with her finishing middle school and beginning high school while also balancing full time acting jobs on the side. The ending is left open--and let’s face it the manga hasn't even ended some 35 years later still--but there’s enough forward momentum in the series to really feel like your time with the characters wasn't wasted and that they were able to accomplish something--not to mention the ending spot is a pretty decent one leaving the viewer wanting more but enjoying a satisfying conclusion to one of the more interesting story arcs adapted. Overall I think anyone who enjoys cheesy anime romance can sit down with this series and have a fun Valentine’s.

[hskswife]

dad || p. jm

Summary: Maybe he never realized that maybe just maybe you felt that you had lost both your parents.

AU: Dad!Jimin

Genre: Angst

Words: 1300

A/N: I know I havent posted in a while but I’m sorry you guys I spent these couple months trying to find motivation to do anything in general. I lost a friend and it had been hard. But I took the time to recuperate and try to truly find myself. Sorry and thank you for understanding.

WARNING THIS STORY CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT SUCH AS SUICIDE

Part 1 || Part 2

Everything had been off since mom left us behind. My dad drowned himself in work. Continued to work on projects begged BigHit for more work. Eventually, you saw him less and less. You guessed he never even thought that maybe your mom disappearing off the face of the earth was as hard on you as it was on him. Maybe he never realized that maybe just maybe you felt that you had lost both your parents. Him being so disconnected from his emotions. From you.

Months have passed. You grew thinner and cared less about whatever was going on in your life. All your grades soon started to fall. Except for art. Painting took you to another world. When you painted for some reason all the desperation had been pulled out of your chest making you able to breathe for just a quick second. Before reality hits you once more. Your paintings were quiet cries for help but no one, not even the teacher, had the ability to decipher your thoughts on canvas. Inside your room, you blasted music unaware that your dad had walked into the room. "Hey sweetheart..." Sitting up you turned off the music, "Dad."  Your dad gave you that gentle smile that has every girl in the nation swooning. His smile had always soothed you but something was off. Something bad. "Sweety I want you to eat dinner with us." You scoffed. You don't even remember when the last time the two of you had sat down for dinner together, "Dinner? Who's us?"

"Just get dressed and trust me, sweety, okay?" You gave him a nod as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

Arriving at dinner you adjusted your skirt as you looked around the restaurant. "Y/N sweetheart over here!" You turned your head towards the center of the restaurant. You found yourself staring at a table with your 6 uncles and 2 other strangers you had never even met before. "Wow. Y/N you look stunning. Just like your mother." You nod sadly smiling rubbing your elbows as you took a seat in between your uncles, Taehyung and Jungkook," Thanks, Uncle Tae."

"So I called you all here for a reason. I wanted the most important people in my life to witness this amazing moment in my life. Again. Except for some of you, it'll be the first." He said staring at you and another young man at the table. Confused you sat there quietly grabbing the glass of water taking a light sip before your dad had dropped the bomb. You watched as your dad got up from his seat grabbing a box from his back pocket and pulling out a ring in front of the woman. "Sohye...will you marry me." You looked around at your uncles who all had a look of surprise and happiness on their faces.

You wanted to yell. You wanted him to know how you felt. I mean how can he marry someone I have never met before even today. But you stayed quiet. Everyone looked happy for him you might as well be, right? The both of you can't suffer forever. At least one of you guys will be happy.

After the wedding, you mainly secluded yourself in your room. At least your dad had been home more often. He would never check in much though. Or ever. You began writing letters. Letters for everyone in your life. That was a new way of relieving stress. Your art room was taken away by your dad and new mom because they figured it had been distracting you from your studies.

You turn off your music as you head downstairs to grab a cup of water when you heard a noise. You flinched not aware anyone had even been home. But you snuck around to take a peek of the noise in the dining room. Your heart dropped as you found your dad, your new mother, and new brother all enjoying a warm happy meal without you.

"Jimin...it's about your daughter she's a bit of a..." She dragged as her son finished the sentence. "A loser, a loner, a freak."

"Jun! That's not--"

"He's right." Your heart dropped as you heard your father agree with those cruel words insulting your own being. Having heard enough, you walked away. Your eyes watered. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you walked into your bathroom. Staring at yourself in the mirror. "They're right." You are a loser. Your own mom had never even told you why she left. Your mom never even told you she loved you before she left. Your own mom left you. Your own dad left you behind and became happy all on his own. Your own dad doesn't even remember it's your birthday. Your own dad doesn't even want to look at you. You took one last long look at yourself before you opened the door. You looked at the door as you sat on your bed. Hoping and praying your dad would burst into the door with a cake happily singing happy birthday.

You waited until the clock struck midnight. "It's over."

You scoffed grabbing a jacket from your closet walking out of the suffocating home. Putting your hoodie on you walked to the river your mom and dad would take you on the mornings of your birthday. You yelled getting looks from people or cars passing by. You began to wonder when everything went wrong. Your mother left for a reason right? You began to think it had to have something to do with you. Why else would she leave? It started to rain and you cursed louder.

You sat on the ledge. Crying you looked down at the water. You bet it was cold but you knew nothing was colder than living in that home. To your dad, you were a loser. A nobody. Ready to jump you stood up on the ledge.

"Y/N!!" Eyes filled with tears you turned your head to find 3 of your uncles in disguise obviously. "What are you doing sweety get off there it's dangerous."

"Sure I mean now everyone cares right?" You cried back. "Y/N what are you talking about your dad loves you..." You scoffed, "He doesn't love me...no one does."

"Y/N!" Your dad yelled behind your three uncles. "Oh my god," Your stepmother yelled following his steps. "What are you doing here sweetheart. Get down from here. Come into daddy's arm."

"Daddy? Daddy didn't even remember to greet me happy birthday but was quick to call me a freak." You laughed walking back as they stepped forward, "You think you were the only one suffering when mom left. You never stopped by the house for 6 months! Then you come to invite me to a dinner where you're getting remarried?!  To a woman, I have never met!" You cried harder, "But at least one of us gets to be happy right? I mean after I'm gone at least you'll have her and her son."

"Baby...what are you talking about? You're going to be here...let's talk please...I--"

"You ignore my messages. You ignore my invites to the Galleria. But quick to come to Jun's recitals...Just face it. You left mom behind. You left me behind." You wiped your tears that grew very unnecessary as your face stayed wet from the pouring rain. "I'm sorry I was such a burden to all of you. I love you, daddy." You smiled before closing your eyes. Leaning back your stomach feeling as if it had left your body you closed your eyes and in a split second, you fell in the water. Your body numb from either the cold or the impact you closed your eyes as the air was squeezed out of your body and soon enough. You fell unconscious into the dark wrapped around nothing but the freezing water.

[tumblunni]

Okay..uhh..man i dont even know what pronouns to use for this character

Like the few posts in their tag call them nonbinary? But it seems thats just because of that one line saying "gender is stupid" which was literally in response to someone saying "stop dressing like a girl, youre a boy". And like every single artwork of this character everywhere forever shows her dressed incredibly feminine and like.. Calling herself a girl. And the series just treats it as "quirky gay man who's lol sooooo gay that he crossdresses all the time" and seriously everyone else seems to call her a man and she calls herslf a girl? Like this really doenst seem like a nonbinary character this seems like an old manga with a poor understanding of trans people that was using kind of offensive language to refer to a trans woman and like.. Now just looking back on it through a a modern lens we'd say it seems like how we talk about nonbinary people.

Cos i mean seriously man this is just a girl who always dresses as a girl and calls herself a girl and loves girly stuff and its just meant to be somehow 'comical' because she's uhh..well..clearly flat chested and the manga makes it clear she was "born a man". And seriously wtf is up with this "comical" slant to all of it?? Like im glad to see trans rep and i understand that its so flawed because its a really ahead of its time bit of representation that was made in a time when bigotry was a lot more overwhelming and LGBT equality had made less strides. But still it seems so weird that even if they think of this character as "a gay man who likes to crossdress" then they'd be portraying "him" as a joke when they'd had other positive gay characters before. And like its not even outright "eww trans women" or anythingits just like they draw her SO exaggerated when she shows her crush on Toya and then he's drawn all..comically disgusted? And everyone is all shocked? And it was really confusing for the first chapter before they had a character staye that she was DMAB cos seriousky it just looked like everyone being weird to this girl for no reason.

And then just.. THERE'S A REALLY WEIRD UNDERTONE HERE

Like i wondered why on earth Toya's crush on Yukito was played so understated and never allowed to be outright confirmed even though its clearly canon and they were able to show Syaoran having a crush on literally the same guy before.

But seriously its starting to become WEIRD in regards to that! Like Ruby Moon is telling Yukito "i'll steal him away if you dont want him" so hey yes confirmation that it IS fuckin canon and they JUST WONT SAY IT. and then they have this really weird dance around conversation where toya is all "ugh gasp you're a-" and like he's...uncomfortabke with her being "a man" (SHE'S NOT A MAN DAMMIT) and she's like "but yukito is also" [suspicious gap in dialogue] "and you" [suspicious gap in dialogue] "him". Its all fuckin weird how much theyre dancing around saying the word gay or even saying a man loves a man yet they SAID IT BEFORE FOR SYAORAN! And then the dancibg around LGBT terms was actually used kinda cleverly here cos it could also mean "yes i'm a clow card and yukito is also not human". And probably the writers could point to that as reasonable denial if anyone accused them of writing a trans woman, i guess...

And uhh.. Yeah.. I think i get why these two situations are considered "different" by the writers.there was just a whole fuckin chapter about Syaoran realizing that her REALLY loves sakura and he only mistook his feelings for a crush on another boy because something something sensing subconciously that yukito had magic in him. And now its presented as CHARACTER GROWTH that he gives up on yukito and goes and has a straight relationship instead. And at the same time in the same chapter Tomoyo also decides to give up on her crush on Sakura WITHOUT EVER EVEN TELLING HER OR TRYING TO SEE IF SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY because she just thinks sakura will be happier witj syaoran. And this is meant to be noble and again be character development. And then looking back we had that whole plot of tomoyo's mom having a crush on sakura's mom and it being played all comical?? And her accusing sakura's dad of being a cradle robber and horrid for LITERALLY FUCKING HIS UNDERAGE STUDENT AND SHE DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL TO MARRY HIM was again played for 'comedy' and she 'learns her lessonc that he's really a good guy and everything is fine.

So..yeah. It seems like a bit of an undercurrent of "gay crushes are a thing for children that you grow out of". Cos seriously the way they play the "comedy" on these older characters is like.. Infantalizing them? Tomoyo's mom is meant to be seen as immature and overreacting. And sakura's mom of course 'grew up' and got a 'real relationship'...

Or like i dunno maybe this was all an accidental implication caused by writers who just didnt realize what itd look like when they make EVERY SINGLE QUEER CHARACTER LOSE THE LOVE TRIANGLE and also refuse to actually confirm the one singular potential actually happy, healthy and recipricated gay pairing.

Also calling a trans woman a man and making everyone act grossed out by her expressing interest in her and making it all so confusing that even actual LGBT people dont really know what to make of it...

And then like there's also some bit where they say "oh well clow card guardians dont actually have gender", by which they mean "biological sex" cos i mean clearly they have genders! And why would "having no biological sex" give them ALL THE BODIES OF MEN??? Like seriously why would "cannot reproduce" mean "male by default"? Why would one of these "genderless" creatures make fun of one of the others for choosing to be female if none of them were born aligned to either of the human reproductive categories in the first place? Like its not "ha why are you being female, we dont have genders" its "why are you NOT BEING A MAN, we dont have genders". That makes no sense!! Also double wtf cos like 90% of all the clow cards look feminine and even half of the ones who don't still use female pronouns and get listed as female in the profiles. Like yes, all of them are drawn flat chested or with barbie doll anatomy but that doesnt make them "men by default"! And nobody's ever mentioned this before, we havent had kero-chan being all "ugh this is the DEVIANT Windy card that PRETENDS to be a girl" or anything. Seriously i cant get over the fact that its her straight up sibling guardian who's the one who makes fun of her for wearing a girls uniform. You are a goddamn talking panther!! What do you care about human cissexism!!

I dunno man the whole thing's got me a bit grumpled.

Also they continue dojng the damn nasty "romance" between a 35 year old teacher and a ten year old girl IN A MANGA AIMED AT TEN YEAR OLD GIRLS, and its presented all wholesome and life goalsy with no criticism whatsoever. Its been getting even creepier and it fuckin STARTED with him giving her a wedding ring! Now theyre really drawing attention to how young she is cos she sews a makeshift teddy bear for him and gives it to him as a good luck charm thatll make their love last. Gahhhhhh

[unproduciblesmackdown]

obviously what made hp The Thing isnt so much directly the content as peoples reaction to it esp since nobody cared about books back then (or not so much what was seen as british childrens literature, anyways) and anyways the way people have been constructing stuff around their enthusiasm for the source material has always been and continues to be the best part. seems like once every few months jkr says some bullshit but then i’ll also see some like little text analysis or joke or sick art from some random fan where its like hell fuckin yeah dude!!! like the collective fanalysis should be the new canon author now coz i mean....i mean honestly sometimes jkr says shit abt her own content where its like. did you even read what you wrote or

anyways the fans and their shit has always been the best part. for me when i think of myself of an hp fan im honestly like a fan of the fans. like dont get me wrong, i like the books and i like got caught up in the midst of the great like 3.8 yr break before the fifth book so i experienced all the subsequent Waits. and like part of it was that shit you had to be there for. and i wasnt there for a lot of it actually because i wasnt online enough or extensively enough to like experience the fansites side of things, much less participate in it, and i was only just 13 when the last book came out so its not like i had the options of older fans anyways. forever a touch bitter that for some fucked reason our parents figured that me and my 16 y.o. sister couldnt go to our local borders half a mile from home for the nerd party that wouldve been our first and last midnight book release! sure, the lifetime of abuse was shitty, but thats really why i disown my parents

anyhow, the point is, its pretty cool what all people did back in the day (and still do i guess but like man, when the books were still coming out. things were a thing.) like, the fansites, and the fact we owned books that were just chapter by chapter analysis of the books to make ootp/series predictions, and a book that was dh predictions, and that like some people’s hp thing turned into Their Thing. and shit theyre doing now was from what they were doing back in the day just coz they wanted to for hp and it was fun / their passion and whatever. and someone writing my immortal, which btw is an elaborate joke fic i swear to you. there were lots of good jokes, still are

didnt really set out to go anywhere with this and i clearly havent. it just speaks to me because the only reason im “creative” is coz i like to draw for things im a crap nerd for. so i respect other ppl doing these really passion driven in depth things just from being nerds for hp. making news sites and fan sites and bands and increasingly elaborate ongoing jokes until darren criss ends up on glee, speaking of elaborate ongoing jokes, Oh Shit

i mean i can be and am both a supremely depressed and passionate person and i really connect with people being passionate and earnest, who doesnt, and meanwhile people who are disengenuous or even just really all the time Cool and not in a rad way but in a like, totally unexcitable way, im just not gonna jive w you sorry. no sparks=no sparks

and then also i like hp and i think that what ppl were doing back in the day could be pretty great and i like that some people’s hp shenanigans contributed a lot to continued shenanigans and good for them, tbh. like that hp fanartist i used to know now like being one of those ppl whose art is their career and they’re fancy. and shit. good for everyone. and even if people arent fancy, there was just a lot of having fun and making cool shit that was directly fans to fans and just people doing actually real stuff that wasn’t involved in like capitalism man like shit for free or self sponsored productions of videos or bands or musicals and hell fuckin yeah, its a wasteland out here and there’s not often so much of a chance for people to just be doing shit coz they want to enjoy themselves and connect with other people. thats anticapitalist propaganda

and so anyways on occasion here i’ll see a short little text post or something and go hell fuckin yeah!!!! and jkr tweets something and we’re all like listen if it was just you i’d hate your creation completely by now alright. its always been these guys (gestures vaguely to nerds)

(edit sidenote: i do hate when ppl are like, really serious abt their house sorting though. like i’ll joke argue abt it but thats one hp nerd thing i can never get behind is like ppl who really consider it a major serious identity thing that theyre a ravenclaw or whatevs. like wtf dude. in general the only thing im mostly Serious about is that snape is a punkass bintch. which is pretty funny so)

[walkingontheborderline-blog]

!!! HUGE FUCKING TRIGGER WARNING DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED !!!

Scars...

This might be a tough post to write, but i need to get it off my chest...

So i self harm, ive done it for somewhere around 8 years, ive really hacked up myself and im left with perminant scars.

Self harm is still a very real struggle for me, i cant explain it, nothing feels like it, nothing comes close to the mental relief it gives me, its addicting, its allways on my mind, i allways crave the rush it gives me.

I remember the first time i did it, i cant remember what made me decide to do it, but i was a child, in my bedroom, i was hurting from constant bullying, every day i went to school, it was brutal, i couldnt even go swimming with my friends after school without being followed around constantly pushed into the pool, i was aching for something to make me feel better, i wont say what i used but ill tell you this, i used something that was in everyones room, but at first it diddnt work, it just left a slight red mark on my arm, so i cut what i was using into a sharper shape, and it worked, mind you it was barley a cat scratch, maybe a tiny tiny bit of blood came out, but it was extreme for my age and when i did it i panickd, i diddnt understand what i was doing, i had no idea nearly a decade later i would still be self harming, and to much more damaging extents...

Over the comming years i cut and burned my self, all over my body, ive cut my face, neck, chest, tummy, thighs, calfs, ankles, feet, arms and hands, the only place i havent self harmed is my back, why?, cause i cannot reach it. Why did i self harm on every body part?, well i remember in high school, when i cut my neck, i thaught that if it was obvious, then nobody would think i did it to myself, right?, of course people asked me what happened, my answer was that i was cycling and went through a hedge, and when i cut my face, i dediced it would be a good idea to cut my lip open, i thaught it would be like a knife through butter, nope, take it from me, your lips are not as delecate as they look, my exuse for having a busted lip?, oh i hit my face on a door, duh!

I dont know where this post is going or what its about, i just need to vent...

And now to the present, still self harming now and then, not as much, i used to do it every day, multiple times a day, maybe once or twice a month now...

But im worried, because although i dont do it as often, i have urdges to do it deeper, bigger, and these urdges only get stronger, i CRAVE it sooo badly, the relief, i just want some relief, little cuts arent enough anymore, and im worried about what extents ill go to to get blades, to entertain these urdges, will i hit a vain? Will i need to go to A&E? Will i not be able to stop the bleeding? And more than that, will i care? Or will i let myself just lye and bleed and hope i fall asleep forever...its like a hunger i cant satisfy, a deep, greedy hunger, i am STARVING!...

Anyway... my scars, i havent been able to wear short sleeves in fuck knows how long, and on top of that, im a bit of a goth... what i mean is, long sleves, all black, in the depth of summer every year, i cant even tell you how hot i get, its exhausting, i dont know how many more exuses i can come up with the next time someone askes me "aw you look warm take your jacket off!" "Why are you wearing a jumper its 30°!?" Like how many times can i say aw im pale ill get sunburn, can you imagen how fucking pastey my legs are?!, they havent seen day light in a decade...

Anyway, i think ive wrote my way through the worst of my urdges tonight...i really hope i have anyway....

Does anyone else feel this way?, is it just me? I dont know how long ill be able to resist these urdges before i do something very very stupid...

[i-sveikata]

Gabby liveblogs the new teen wolf ep

i mean technically it’s not liveblogging since I’m in australia and the delay obvs but here we go guys prepare for death:

-lololololololo the fuck they always gotta start it at the school cause they cant afford another set anymore

-whut scott is the assistant coach???!!!!!

-omg hayden left?????? why do they literally just remove all of their female characters with nonsense explanations??? hello kira???? havent seen her in a while. do females not exist in beacon hills?? apparently even being a love interest isn’t a good enough reason to keep the gals around anymore dear god.

-’you want my whistle? who gave you a whistle???’ omfg coach finstock is the best

-the fuck was that supposed to be a wolf on the field or a coyote??? or malia???? legit can’t even tell, oh nvmind scott and liam followed it into the woods found a pack of dead wolves with weird bugs that are crawling out of their eyes, naturally.

-malia heading out to paris and not wanting to help anyone with the problem is goals. but you know there are other ways to write female characters without making their only interest being climbing dick you know, we can have depth.

-liam and scott bonding, lol, they cute and feels, scotty all worried he’s losing control, making him repeat the werewolf mantra dear god this is dorky. giving it instrumental impressive music wont change that friends.

-lol, ‘i got ducktape’ this is me.

-oh goody more mental asylum stuff and weird frozen mummified rock shit, is this a throwback to pompeii or what?

-yeah touch the petrified ashy human corpse thing, that’s a great idea obvs like what is even happening right now.

-of course some dude exploded out of it, why are we even surprised people? oh that’s right we’re not. wait who the fuck is that? no wait, i can guess, it’s another mediocre white guy.

-’i like latin’ liam you dork, oh poor kid ‘this has been a really hard year for me’ ‘if you want to talk about your girlfriend guidance hours are posted’ damn girl that’s brutal.

-interesting that all the youngins are getting a senior registration and applying to colleges scenes talking about their futures at school but for the veteran characters we barely got a sentence about it.

-’you can see me right’ omg lol corey are you having some visibility issues.

-who wants to guess this new college guidance lady is probably not human- lol the music just changed and went all sinister like bruh we already got this, literally every new character we meet ends up being evil like cmon.

-who the fuck is this nolan kid- yet another mediocre white boy!!!!!- are they going for the olympics in white boys what is this shit- oh god she wants to talk about the animal attack on the field.

-lol him being like ‘that was no animal’ jesus fucking christ honestly am i in deja vu land are we just repeating tired drama from the first season now.

-liam how do you not know what a scarab is????? have you not seen the mummy what kind of kid are you??

-haha that girl screaming ‘why does this keep happening to our school’ when all the rats show up is the real shit.

-mediocre other mummy white boy appears in the classroom, stares a bit and tries to look interesting and then leaves. wow lifechanging moment.

-naturally liam and mason end up in the pipes again, because where else would teen wolf film things that happen.

-lydia making a bestiary yeah girl. Her mama isn’t being very smart saying no to that- who’s guess is it she dies almost immediately??? yeah girl leave that paperwork in mamas desk. 

-scott trying out his weird electrocution kink with his mum, i am uncomfortable, but also teaching her the ways of electrocution is vaguely sweet.

-mama mccall gonna cover all the werewolf shit when scott is gone i love it. family bonding stuff yeaaaaaahh. oh shit she electrocuted him whilst hugging. family fun times.

-’i held the button, didn’t I?’ ‘you held the buttton’ BEST

-rat king ew is that what they said. gross. lol malia making liam smell the gross dead rat.

-REROUTED. malia is determined to get on a plane to get that french dick apparently.

-how the fuck did mummy white guy end up in the sheriff station???? do the deputies no longer exist?? wheres papa stilinski???

-parrish on the creepy white dude, all is well apparently.

-liam and mason bringing mama mccall a nice dead rat. bring her dinner you sick bastards.

-the fuck??? hallways in flames, parrish meeting another possible hellhound??? what is trying to be said here, fucked if i know.

-weird white guy has some kind of blood kink, sniffing all the injured people in the hospital because of reasons.

-idiot dudes punched liam in the face and he lost his shit. some mantra kid. use the werewolf force. freaky white mummy guy looming in the hallway behind him, cue demon suspense music while he chases for liam now in a closing elevator.

-ANDDDDDD the door closes before mummy white dude can get to him. shocker. i am on the edge of my seat with surprise and  anguish obvs

-lydia showing up to get scott? i thought in the last ep stiles said hed be driving down to campus with lydia together???? does that mean she did and came back for some reason?? or stiles miraculously teleported there on his own. wow i love continuity. good thing im watching teen wolf huh.

-all the lights go out, because its lydia this is teen wolf and EVERYTHING MUST BE DARK AND HARD TO SEE AT ALL TIMES.

-phones ringing are always the most suspenseful thing to happen to me as well, love hearing that dialtone and having a wind machine suddenly blowing hair out of my face before appearing back in... wow you guessed it- the school!!!

-ohhhhhh spideyweb time. love it. gotta touched those creepy webs because otherwise what else could lydias banshee powers possibly do. lots of screaming. love that. was that gunfire? idk here this is stupid. 

-ah yes, lydia miraculously finds the perfect bit of web to touch because of unexplainable reasons.’ YOU LET IT OUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO RIDE WITH THE HUNT FOREVER’ k thanks im hanging up the web now byeeeeeee.

-how does nobody lock the fucking school doors at this point. parrish and mummy white dude just walked straight in.

-’what are you?’ ‘you know what i am im the same as you’ lololololololololl this is gonna be some weird hellhound pissing contest.

-’something you let out, something that needs to be stopped’ oh goody something new an differernt for us. so innovative.

-ah yes, the pissing contest begins. or fire contest i guess? idk?/ and oh hey the guidance counsellor lady was not as she seemed!!! wow, i never would have seen that coming in my life. thanks

-hey guys when you take away the fire, it’s just two shirtless dudes homoerotically wrestling with each other.

-oh well time for parrish to sleep it off,

-’if the wild hunt couldn’t keep you nothing can’ this is literally sounds like the fucked up adage ‘if i cant have you no one can’ and i am uncomfortable.

-oh boy white mummy guy isn’t after liam- i could never have guess that would happen.

-’it must be stopped nothing else matters’ wow, no, because here I was thinking just let the monster run free and kill people and pile up bodies and stuff. isnt that what teen wolf is about.

-OMG SCOTT GOT INTO THE JEEP  AND FOUND A ‘BE GENTLE’ LETTER FROM STILES THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE EP I SWEAR

-what the fuck lydia, popping your ass up in the middle of the headlights like some kind of ghost haunting, ‘we cantt leave’ bruh you need to chill. 

-of course they need some scene with mason giving liam a pep talk like hes the most important character in this show, yeah id totally believe that. hey heres an idea instead of making it about comforting him for losing his girlfriend, how bout you dont write his girlfriend out, there i fixed it.

-malia’s flight no longer delayed!!! haha that squeal of excitement, omg she yelled ‘Oui Oui’ i gotchu girl leave this hellhole while you can.

-opp and heres scott and lydia out to ruin her fun. ofc.

-”no, no nonononono  no, its just rats and wolves- and maybe a little bug problem’ see shes got the spirit. let her get french dick in peace. but also, how the fuck are they gonna explain her and scott hooking up in the future because idk what a fucking ride.

-goes to the window instead because her friends are trying to cockblock her- shes DETERMINED PPL U CANT STOP THE DICK.

-lol scott steps aside and then lydia moves into malias way MY GOD before scott pulls her back out, fuckin i cannot.

-two seconds of disappointed looks but cmon guys lets not pretend that malias an independent person who can make decisions outside of the group- aaaannnnnn shes back. wow. quelle surprise.

-but hey at least she hit scott in the face with her bag, get it girl.

-injured white mummy hellhound staggering through the woods then shift to lydia, malia and scott in the car ‘we opened a door to another world and something came out with us’ THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT FOR SEASON 3? 4? THE ONE WITH THE NOGITSUNE CMON PPL.

-of course guidance counsellor college lady is gonna kill white mummy hellhound boy. i support her.

-’what kind of price a big price?” ‘big’ wow, A+ dialogue here, someone give them an emmy for this shit.

-oh no guidance counsellor lady in trouble. bu t of course when push comes to shove, shoot white mummy hellhound boy in the head. but white guy actually died for once???? props. lets see how long hell stay dead before theres a reason that makes no sense to bring him back. cough cough theo.

-two seconds later cause apparently thats enough time for her to escape without the Gang sans stiles noticing. even though two of them have increased hearing and sense of smell?!!!??!! because it wouldnt be teen wolf otherwise.

-lydia ‘i thought you couldnt kill a hellhound’ WHEN WAS THAT EVER SAID??? I LITERALLY DO NOT REMEMBER THAT BEING STATED???

-scott, picking up the bullet casing which apparently killed an unkillable hellhound but hes just so good its not an issue. oh hey, is that a fleur de lis?

-’argent’ ooooooooohhh more suspense. dont think i can take it.

-’the sound of someone who’s never lifted a hand against a human being’ you can says shes a hunter lydia, her trunk was full of murdery shit we get it.

-also whats with teen wolfs repetitive need to make girls have an emotional distressing response to something before they go all ‘i kill you, ill kill everyone, ill kill myself idgaf’ and their expression goes all Tough Girl. like cmon. u realise girls dont all react the same way to the same things right?

-but hey props to guidance lady for not dying, though i mean she’s a girl and shes not white so lets assume her chances arent strong for future eps.

-lol all three of them sitting on scotts bed together. is it just me or should they all just make out, im just saying.

-’can we say we forgot?’ omg lydia PHRASING, u literally forgot stiles barely a few eps ago, dont crush him already.

-’we almost lost him last time’ i just love how the girls have all the emotional lines and scott just gets to sit there a nod like stiles hasnt been his best friend for years and years. but apparently connection on teen wolf means only if you want to fuck each other since scott magically forgot stiles without much effort and the entire season was about lydia getting him back even though they literally werent even dating and theyd given no indication shed even liked him when he was taken. but suddenly shes magically interested in him and the connection with scott, his best fucking friend for life somehow wasnt strong enough and I AM SALTY.

-malia- ’if this turns out to be somthing big and we don’t call him-’ ‘he would kill us’ hey look Scott got to say something accurate about his best friend, yay!

-’you guys didn’t hear his voice, he was really excited to be there’ aww scott, but seriously you asshole writers are still telling me their connection wasn’t enough for scott to bring him back? for shame.

-’lets just play the voicemail’ lol here comes the swelling emotional music.

-but seriously fuck you guys, heres stiles telling scott to leave beacon hills behind him and that its not his responsibility and not to worry about it and take stiles’ jeep (which we know he loves more than anything) and drive, and the instrumentals are getting really emotional showing stiles at the fbi and youre still trying to tell me that scott wouldnt have remembered his best friend without lydia???? fuck off.

-omg the nerd stopped at the fbi seal and straightened his tie i fucking love it.

-seriously whats with this music??? like stiles just won the damn noble peace prize or something just for showing up. its no wonder ppl think scott isnt the main when the writers give stiles all these storylines and attention, like this is not subtle ppl.

-stiles constantly interrupting the fbi dude in the middle of the presentation gives me life omg.

-’one recent manhunt had our crisis response team chasing down a bizarrely feral unsub in the wilderness of north carolina-”

-OFMG LOL ITS DEREK 

-STILES SPAT WATER EVERYWHERE THIS IS GREAT

-are they literally trying to sell that this is current??? like that is clearly season 1 footage of derek what the fuck is happening right now. why cant he just have a vacation for fun, why do the writers have to ruin everything for him but nope, mass hunting derek time ofc,

-the way stiles put his hand over his mouth as if that would cover up the fact that he literally spat water everywhere. smooth stilinski.

-omg the presenter dude look down at the list of names seeing Mieczyslaw Stilinski and legit being like ‘uh... young man’ thats awesome.

-’just got a little excited’ honestly what the fuck teen wolf. you baiting sterek fans or what?

-stiles trying to find out what they’re after him for- ‘Murder’ but what type of murder. “Mass murder’

-suspenseful music AGAIN jesus fucking c h r i s t.

-OMG now they’re just zooming in on dereks tattoo, increasing the music. dude we fucking get it, thats derek hale and you, the writers, fucking hate him. chill.

[and-his-name-is-rouge-crimson]

1-100 or whichever you care to tell me... I would like to know everything though :3

Well here goes the rest of my night :3 1-100 here we go.

1. When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal, or more cereal than milk?

Answer: It honestly depends on the cereal. If it’s anything from the CheeryO’s family, I’ll eat that milk-less. If it’s Cookie Crisp, or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I had better have some damn milk.

2. Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a cold wintery day?

Answer: FUCK NO!! WINTER SUCKS!! 

3. What random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Answer: I just remember the page number. Despite my crap memory, I somehow manage to remember what page I was on when I’m reading.

4. How do you take your coffee/tea?

Answer: I’ll take an energy drink instead.

5. Are you self-conscious of your smile?

Answer: Admittedly yes, I don’t like giving toothy smiles whenever I or someone else takes a picture.

6. Do you keep plants?

Answer: No, plants=bees. I hate bees. I’m not allergic or anything, I’ve just been stung one too many times for me to feel comfortable around bees. Hell if anything buzzes past my ear, I reflexively flinch even if it’s just a house fly. So no plants for me.

7. Do I name my plants?

Answer: *skips*

8. What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Answer: I write. A lot, though I’m a little self-conscious to post a lot of it

9. Do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Answer: Oh hell yes, I’ll do this all the time. At home, in the car, at work, with my friends … I’ve said too much.

10. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Answer: I answered this one already, but since you asked me to do 1-100 (and like a fool who clearly does not value what he does with what is left of his evening) I’ll answer this one again. I’ll fall asleep on my stomach or back, and somehow find myself awake on my sides.

11. What’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Answer: Ohhh there are several, all with an interesting story behind it. Anyone reading this feel free to ask about said stories of said inside jokes. However, the two best ones I can think of at the moment are: “White-face Mexican Jesus,” and “I’m trying to send a donkey to someone for their birthday, but customs is being a bitch!”

12. What is your favorite planet?

Answer: Pluto (”Ohhh but that’s not a planet anymore” fuck off it’s a planet if I say it’s a planet. And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!)

13. What is something that made you smile today?

Answer: Listening to Neon by Jeff and Casey Lee Williams.

14. If you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Answer: Shit. I’m still figuring Tumblr out, so I have NO idea how to link stuff (embed or html or whatever the fuck it is) so… for a base idea, probably something like 221b Baker Street from BBC’s Sherlock.

15. Go Google a weird space fact and tell us what it is.

Answer: *skips*

16. What is your favorite pasta dish?

Answer: Just give me spaghetti and meatballs.

17. What color do you really want to dye your hair?

Answer: Purple. It’s my favorite color, but I seem to have a distinct lack of purple in my wardrobe. But if I was to dye my hair, it would have to be a real dark purple.

18.  Tell something dumb/funny that has since gone down in history between you and your friends that is always brought up.

Answer: *deep breath* No.

19. Do you keep a journal? And what do you write/draw in it?

Answer: I do not keep or have ever kept a journal.

20. What is your favorite eye color?

Answer: Dark brown, kind of like my own.

21. Talk about your favorite bag. One that has been to hell and back, and that you love to pieces. 

Answer: Okay, well I still use this backpack. I’ve had it since my freshman year in high school. Its right strap is worn down, because I only ever wore it over my right shoulder, and still only ever wear it over my right shoulder. There’s also a Wings of Freedom button on the right strap, despite my dislike for the Attack on Titan anime (I liked the manga better). That backpack has been through high school, survived college, and gone to every single anime convention I’ve gone to since I’ve had it.

22. Are you a morning person?

Answer: No, I’m more of a crack of noon person. But high school has ingrained it into my brain that I need to wake up at the ass crack of dawn.

23. What’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days when you have 0 obligations?

Answer: Oh so everyday I don’t have work? Okay then. I either write or play video games, I’m currently playing Mass Effect Andromeda and loving it (despite the issue with the character customization).

24. Is there someone out there that you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Answer: Yes, and they know who they are.

25. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

Answer: My friend Neil and I once had to break into his own house because he forgot his keys, and nobody else was home. There was a ladder under the balcony of his parents bedroom, we set it up, and Neil held the thing in place while I climbed up and over the ladder and over the balcony (thank god the sliding glass door was unlocked).

26. What shoes have you had forever and wear with every single outfit?

Answer: Normally my shoes don’t last that long.

27. What’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Answer: Ummmm… I don’t have a preference to bubble gum flavors. :3

28. Sunrise or sunset?

Answer: Sunset. Sleep is good.

29. What is something really cute one of your friends does, and is really endearing?

Answer: One of them is our designated group mom, and she cares for all of us. Love you Panda!

30. Think of it: Have you ever been truly scared?

Answer: Yes. There is a local haunted place close to where I live. It was an old rock crusher/munitions factory back in WWII, before it exploded and covered nearly all of it’s workers in acid. Since then the place has been haunted by the spirits of the workers who have died there. And then some idiots attempted to perform some ritual to summon some sort of demon … And it fucking worked. Anyways, my friend Neil and I go up there a few years ago on Halloween. In reality I allowed myself to be talked into it, but I was so freaked out the whole time we were up there, and I could have sworn I was seeing shit move just past the range of my vision. Anyways we are about to head back to his house, and we are right in front of the old rock crusher, when I become aware that Neil is not walking beside me. When I turn around, I see him passed out in front of the old structure … Then I hear this horrible voice in my ear: “Leave him, he belongs to us now.” 

31. What is your opinion of socks? Do you sleep with socks? Do you confine yourself to white sock hell? Really, just talk about socks.

Answer: *skips*

32. Tell a story that happened at 3am while you were with friends.

Answer: Ummmm there are no stories like that. Even if we’re at cons, we’re asleep before midnight.

33. What’s your favorite pastry?

Answer: Cinnamon covered doughnuts. So good~

34. Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a child.

Answer: I had/have 3. A lamb, and 2 teddy bears. I don’t remember what happened to the lamb. I know it’s in the house somewhere, I just don’t know where. But as for the teddy’s: One is a standard-size teddy bear named *drumroll* Teddy. I was adopted when I was 4 days old, and Teddy is the only thing that I have from my birth mother. The second one is larger, kinda like the size of a carnaval prize. He was given to my by my Uncle Desmond “Dezzy” Caine (I really miss Uncle Dezzy), so he’s named the Dezzy Bear. I still sleep with both and I’ll be 25 in like 9 days. Dezzy still props up my pillows.

35. Do you like stationary and pretty pens?

Answer: Meh, they’re not so bad. I have really bad handwriting so I’m kinda divided 50/50

36. Which band’s sound would suit your mood right now?

Answer: Nightwish. Oh their lead singer’s voice is beautiful~

37. Do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

Answer: Messy, definately messy. Sure it looks disorganized, but I know where everything is in the mess.

38 Talk about your pet peeves.

Answer: No, it’s too late at night for that shit.

39. What color do you wear the most?

Answer: White. Undershirts mostly. I would wear more purple, but there is a distinct lack of purple in my wardrobe, and not a lot of purple clothing in the stores I shop at (mostly Hot Topic) that fit/I would wear.

40.Think of a piece of jewelry you own. What’s it’s story? Does it have any meaning to you?

Answer: Ummmm admittedly, I have a lot of jewelry pieces. Mostly necklaces that I rarely wear. My favorite by far, is a pewter dragon with it’s body wrapped around a blue crystal. I bought it at the county fair a few years back, and it was the last one that was ever sold from that vendor, because I havent seen his stall in the past few years.

41. What is the last book you really, really remember loving?

Answer: Monster Hunter Memoirs: Grunge. It’s a new book in the Monster Hunter series by Larry Correia.

42. Do you have a favorite coffee shop?

Answer: No, I don’t like coffee ever since I made the mistake of drinking the swill on an empty stomach.

43. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Answer: My friend Neil, and that was years ago when we decided to head up to a local haunted area.

44.When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Answer: This morning in the shower :3

45. Do you trust your instincts a lot?

Answer: Yes. Going back to when Neil and I were up at the rock crusher, and I heard that voice in my ear. Something told me: “Neil is your brother, get his ass out of there!” I grabbed him, and ran for it.

46. Tell us of the worst pun you can think of.

Answer: Is this some sort of pun-ishment? Well I guess you can call me the Pun-isher (hate myself).

47. What food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Answer: …shit I had something for this, and now I can’t remember…

48. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today?

Answer: I was afraid of the dark as a kid (mostly due to my brother being an ass), and that fear carried through. I still have to sleep with a light on.

49. Do you like buying CDs and records? What was the last one you bought?

Answer: I haven’t bought a CD or a record since I had my first iPod. The last one I bought was Disturbed’s Indestructible album.

50. What is an odd thing you collect?

Answer: I answered this one before, but I’ll do it again. I collect and assemble Gundam models. I have 8 currently. And I have yet to finish/start the assembly on the last 3.

51. Think of a person, what song do you affiliate with them?

Answer: I think The Animal by Disturbed would suit Neil just fine.

52. What are your favorite memes of the year so far?

Answer: *skips*

53. Have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? Beetlejuice ect. What do you think of them?

Answer: Nope.

54. Who is the last person you saw with a genuine look of sadness on their face?

Answer: That would be my cousin who had to recently put her elderly golden retriever to sleep. Something like that is never easy, and I know how bad the pain of losing a pet you have had for years feels.

55. What is the most dramatic thing you have done to prove a point?

Answer: Ummm that’ll be the time when *skips*

56. What are some things you find endearing in people?

Answer: When I find something, I’ll let you know.

57. Go listen to bohemian rhapsody. did you reenact the lyrics?

Answer: Um whoever doesn’t needs to be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

58. Who is the wine mom, and who is the vodka aunt in your group of friends?

Answer: Me on both occasions.

59. What are some of your favorite myths?

Answer: Mostly the ones involving the 80′s horror movie villians.

60. Do you like poetry?

Answer: Meh.

61. What is the stupidest gift you have ever given/received?

Answer: I gave my mom trick candles to use on my brothers cake a few years ago … And they found their way on to MY cake. Does that count?

62. Do you drink juice in the morning?

Answer: Very rarely, and when I do it’s cranberry.

63. Are you fussy about your books and music? Do you keep them organized or leave them be?

Answer: I leave them be. It goes back to the question of how I like to keep my room.

64. What color is the sky where you are right now?

Answer: It’s steely grey. It’s in the transition of seasons. Winter to Spring.

65. Is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time that you’d love to hang out with?

Answer: Yeah, my friend Neil.

66. What would your ideal flower crown look like?

Answer: *skips*

67. How do gloomy days make you feel?

Answer: Yep skipping that one too. *skips*

68. What is winter like where you live?

Answer: Hoth

69. What are your favorite board games?

Answer: Risk … and I cannot think of any other ones of the top of my head.

70. Have you ever used a ouji board?

Answer: Fuck no! I am not stupid enough to do that! Especially after what happened after the rock crusher.

71. What is your favorite kind of tea?

Answer: I don’t drink tea.

72. Are you a person who needs to note down everything you need to do or else you’ll forget it?

Answer: Only when I am at work, and even then I rarely note things down.

73. What are some of your worst habits?

Answer: *skips*

74. Describe a good friend of yours without using their names or gendered pronouns.

Answer: Hmmmm… Long and lanky, unkempt and scraggly hair and beard. Quick wit, sharp tongue, but with a big heart.

75. Tell us about your pets!

Answer: I had two white Siberian Huskies. Tundra and her brother Topaz were born on the same day I was, and we had 18 great years together.

76. Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Answer: Nope.

77. Pink or yellow lemonade?

Answer: Why not both?

78. Are in the minion fanclub or hateclub?

Answer: I’m in the “I don’t give a fuck” club.

79. What is one of the cutest things anyone has ever done for you?

Answer: They wouldn’t want me telling that story.

80. What color are your bedroom walls? Did you chose that color? If so why?

Answer: They’re white, but if I could paint them, they’d be purple.

81. Describe on of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Answer: *skips*

82. Are/were you good in school?

Answer: I was decent. Not good, not bad, but decent.

83.what is some of your favorite album art?

Answer: I care more about the songs rather than the artwork.

84. Are you planning on getting any tattoos?

Answer: Yes, I’m planning on getting either the enochian sigil from Supernatural, or a full back tattoo of a set of angel wings with the words: “Angels on our shoulders” above them.

85. Do you read comics?

Answer: Not really

86. Do you like concept albums?

Answer: The hell are those?

87. What are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Answer: All the James Bond movies, Star Wars including the prequils, and the 3 original Indiana Jones movies.

88. Are there any artistic movements you enjoy?

Answer: The only one I can think of (and I’m not sure it even counts) is the Renaissance

89. Are you close with your parents?

Answer: Yes very close, although they drive me crazy at times I still  love them.

90. Talk about one of your favorite cities.

Answer: *skips*

91. Where do you plan on traveling this year?

Answer: Well my group is planning on heading to Washington DC for Ota-con this year.

92. Are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese? Or do you barely sprinkle a pinch?

Answer: The cheese. Give me all the cheese!

93. What is the hairstyle you wear the most?

Answer: Short and very unkempt.

94. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Answer: My girlfriend. :3

95. What are your plans for this weekend?

Answer: The same thing I do every night. Try to take over the world.

96. Do you install your computer updates quickly? or do you take forever?

Answer: Yes. :3

97. Myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and Hoggwarts house.

Answer: What the hell is the first one? But I’m an Ares, and a Gryffindor.

98. When was the last time you went hiking? And did you enjoy it?

Answer: it was years ago, and no I hate nature.

99. List some songs that resonate with your soul every time you hear them.

Answer: I have 220+ songs on my iPod that attest to that very question.

100. If you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, and one that allows you to go 5 years into the future, which would you press and why?

Answer: I’d go into the future. Past is past and that’s where it belongs. Plus when I go back to when I pressed said button, I would have an advantage over everyone else *evil smile*