#no words except thank you for writing this thank you for giving my brain fuel

[hunkyvi]

holy shit I wish I had the words to describe what I'm feeling rn because woah

SIMULACRA

homunculus creature x reader | 2.6k | 18+

your father never lets you into the basement and refuses to tell you what's down there. one day, he hires a thief and you fall in love. a year later, your lover goes missing, and you descend into the basement to uncover what secrets your father has hidden from you.

warnings; dark content for some graphic depictions of body horror, grotesque imagery, dubcon, implications of voyeurism, incestuous leanings (mentioned only), mentions of grave robbing, stealing cadavers, roughly proofread.

third prompt for my little october project! not an easy read if you're squeamish! if you enjoyed/found this interesting, pls help ya girl out and reblog + interact!! 🙏🏻

Father had hired a thief to steal many small and many large things for him over the course of a year. All things he refused to confide in anyone else about but for the thief. In exchange for the labor of the thief’s expertise, Father offered him the skeleton key for which to open every room in the house, including your own.

By the end of the first month, the thief knew the whereabouts of every item in your family home, whose footsteps sounded across the floorboards on a dreary day, and at what time every night your father would descend to the basement when madness overtook him.

“He is a strange man. He asks me to find many strange things for him. Some of those things even I feel guilty for stealing,” said the thief, having woken you in the middle of the night to fix him a warm beverage. As part of compensation for his stay, you were told to care for him just as you would a revered guest. “He must actually be mad. There is no other explanation.”

You did as you were supposed to, fixed the thief warm milk and carried over a plate of dry biscuits to bloat his stomach. All of this, you hoped, would wear him out so you could return to bed.

“Father is a studied man. He was a doctor in town, once,” you told him, wiping crumbs off the table with the flat side of your hand. “He was one for a long time, I think. I don't actually know. He says Mother died trying to give birth to me, so he removed me from her womb himself and there was no saving her. It's always just been the two of us here, and a few servants to keep up the house.”

“It's strange to me, then, how a man of medicine and healing is so invested in the things that he is.” The thief always ate and drank steadily as though deprived of sustenance, despite all your efforts to feed him better than yourself. You continued shifting crumbs across the table, off the edge onto your apron, thinking that men of his nature really knew no manners at all.

“He used to be a surgeon,” was enough to put that part of the conversation to rest. He finished his midnight meal and handed his empty cup off to you to wash at the sink. “What do you see when you're downstairs? He always deadbolts it so I cannot get inside, even with that key he gave you.”

The thief took the lantern from the table over to you, illuminating the space in cold orange flickers and distended shadows moving erratically across the walls. You didn't look away from your task, but you could feel his nearness to you—the warmth of him and his breath almost touching the side of your neck.

“Interesting!” He smiled handsomely; a good, even a smile that didn't show too much of his mouth, too many teeth, too much eagerness. “And how long have you been trying to weasel your way into his personal space downstairs?”

“Long enough,” you assured, wiping the cup dry before giving him your full attention. “Just tell me what you've seen! The old bastard is selfish and won't tell me a thing! What's happening in my own home? I think I deserve to know.”

His hand let down the lantern, resting it on the countertop, and then stroked your face with the peaks of his knuckles. Compared to everything else he touched: rotted wood coffins splintering and softening in his grip, chiseled stone doors leading into tombs shared by generations of inbred aristocrats laid side by side forever, delicate heirlooms, porous and misshapen bones still wet with meat and decay; you were the softest, and the most pleasant thing he'd ever felt.

“Actually,” said the thief, now holding you behind the jaw and in your hair with both his hands, “I don't think you deserve to know. I mean that in the best way possible because I don't want you to know what goes on down there. I don't want you to see what I've seen. Forget it and come upstairs with me.”

The house had settled into deep silence, a sort of stillness a lot like holding a breath in anticipation. You knew it was partially your own fault for that because you weren't sure you'd taken a single breath as he led you back to your room, bolted the door, and kissed you.

Father believed you were different from the rest of the young adults in town. Thought you so much greater than them that he'd never entertained the idea you'd ever want a friend, a lover, to be touched and ravished by someone as that sort of thinking aligned with the licentious townsfolk and nobles partaking in opioid induced orgies.

“Get on your stomach.” The thief shucked your bodies bare of clothes and pressed you down into the bed how he wanted before pushing his cock into you, pacing his thrusts and depth to start before fucking you down into the mattress.

It hurt. It felt good. It was humiliating being fucked like a beast, but you loved how he lost himself in the act and bit and bruised you, moaned and grunted in your ears. He was vile in the way he confessed his lifetime of sins to you, whispering against your skin as though you were the priest, the confessional, and the God who would lead him to absolution.

He really only became himself again after he finished inside of you, cock soft, his words even softer and lavishing. Whether or not he meant what he said didn't matter, because you were in love with him.

Your life continued on that way almost every night for the better part of a year. Seeking the deepest and most sacred parts of one another—yours from the desire to know him and to be known, his to pour out his sorrows, beg forgiveness, seek vengeance through thunderclaps of stinging skin that turned your eye whites bright red and appalled your waking thoughts with vicious, awful words.

But then, one morning, Father said the thief had left early, just as the sun rose and basked the valley in golden dewdrops and velvety mist, and never planned to return.

“How can that be!” you spent most of the day afterwards wretched, filling various rooms of the house with nauseating weeps and bitter resentment. “He wouldn't just leave me! I love him! He loves me! I know him better than that.”

“Oh,” sighed Father, looking somehow haggard and anxious like a hare circled by airborne hawks. You noticed the way his eyes couldn't stay put, roamed over a space again and again as though concerned anything might change without him realizing. He was particularly fixated on the door leading down into the basement. “You stupid child. A man like that could never love you! A man like that only knows thievery! He steals things! He steals people. He'd steal you away if he had the chance. Only I know how to love you!”

“I am not a child! I haven't been a child for a long time,” you said. “You don't know anything about love. The only thing you've ever loved is your work.”

Father restrained himself in the end, looked at you equally grievous and as though he had something else to say, but felt it was a useless argument in the end. He found his wool coat by the doorway, tugged the sleeves up his arms, and said he was leaving for the nearby village to find a new thief to replace the one who had left—your beloved thief.

Hours later, he had returned home in a renewed good spirits despite no success finding someone else to take up all the same tasks the last thief had. The aged wine he drank weighed his breath, stank up the house en route to his bedroom with sour fermentation, the sweetness of grapes.

You only emerged from your quarters once his snores tore through the walls, seemed to leach into the slabs underfoot and vibrate up against your toes as you padded across them, down the stairs, and deeper down still when you discovered Father had left the basement door unbolted in his anger earlier.

To disguise this betrayal, you tried to simulate his typical circumspection by closing the door fully after you, hearing the grind of metal as you slid the latch into place to secure it from the inside, and careened further into the depths without a light, guided only by your excitement and resolve to unveil what was always hidden from you.

“What in the world?” you asked no one, just the vast space of the basement and all of the strange things within it. The air smelled thickly of coins and rust, making your tongue salivate as if taking a mouthful of soil and copper into your mouth. It was a damp sort of scent, like being entrapped by lingering humidity after a summer storm.

The further you wandered, the odder the tabletops of implements you saw. Clear glass vessels of all sorts: flasks, beakers, tubes with dried substances inside. Piles of medical texts, some of infections and pathology; most were specifically about anatomy and physiology. You fluttered through the pages of one tome which seemed to exclusively discuss the organic components that made up different layers of skin and fat.

Onward still, deeper inside the basement, there were sealed vats emanating particularly repugnant odors. Some so strong you couldn't bring yourself closer than twenty feet of them without the need to turn, vomit into a crevice in the ground, and widen the distance more.

Last were the tables, some built solidly out of teakwood, others shabby metal—all of them mysteriously dark and stained—

Just then came a jutting sound, sharp and metallic, feet away from where you stood on another table you'd yet to reach. For some reason, you hadn't noticed this one right away despite there being quite a sizable mass sprawled across it, restrained.

It was human-shaped, broad-shouldered and sinewy. Even from where you stood, you believed you could see the striations in its arms as it struggled against thick cuffs at the wrists. You thought it looked simultaneously enormous, yet entirely malnourished, off in proportions with a complexion gray as any ash left behind after a bonfire.

“Are…” you spoke, it lurched against its restraints and made you jump. “Are you—are you alright? Who are you?!”

Suddenly, the creature’s limbs went soft, relenting to the sound of your voice as if in recognition and instead of trying to break its shackles, it tried reaching out towards you. For a moment, you considered humoring the poor thing, alleviating it of whatever loneliness it has experienced while down in this bleak, vile location.

You got close enough to finally see upon every minutiae detail, and the horrible thing was that everything deserved thorough inspection.

“What in God's name are you?!” you whimpered and scoffed in disgust, seeing the patchwork of its body with sheets of many different skins, all some variance of color, though all entirely gray and dead. His appendages were adhered at each joint with staples, sewn with the thickest black cord you'd ever seen and coated with blood and pieces of human meat.

No part of this creature looked to be made of any single human—any one man—but an amalgam of tautly stretched, cleverly tucked pieces of many. Even his genitalia were a construction of several parts.

The creature stayed calm in your presence, repeatedly raising, lowering his head onto the hard metal to better see you. The innermost of his lips were blackened purple and he parted them with immense effort, eventually giving you a view of his pristinely aligned teeth and tongueless mouth.

“You can't speak—oh my god. You can't speak. Where's your tongue? What are you? What are you?” but, the answer was that he was many different men. The better question was whose brain was seeing you through mismatched brown and blue eyes?

The longer he stared at you and you stared at him, witnessed his hideously lovely face cycle through a pattern of confusion to familiarity—a demented soul constantly finding miniscule pockets in coherency—the horror struck you more than the gladness and overflow of love making your hands shake.

“My—my beloved!” you said huskily, shy of bursting into tears and collapsing on top of him. Your trembling fingers felt his glacial skin, how utterly dead and stiff it was, but you didn't care. “My father did this to you?! He took your brain? He put you into this monstrosity?! But, why?”

The creature’s mouth couldn't answer, but the thief’s brain, in those brief flickers of remembrance, wanted to reveal that your father was a pervert—had witnessed him bed you for months on end before something snapped, something inside him changed and he could no longer bear the idea you loved another more than him.

That you might run away. Leave.

The thief had been cleaved alive, different parts of him not yet used stored in the vats scattered throughout the basement. His brain was brilliant, it was why he was such a remarkable thief, made him the ideal candidate to finally bring a sentient homunculus to fruition.

It worked. Your father had created something neither dead, nor alive, nor entirely human, nor thoughtless beast.

“Oh, my love,” you kissed his cold, unmoving lips and then searched your pockets for the skeleton key you'd kept hidden from your father. “Forgive him. Forgive that terrible man for what he's done. I fear he's been unwell for a long time now. A very long time. He is not right.”

But, the thief’s brain was not so kind, nor was any other part he was made up of. He only existed in agony and hatred and faint fondness when he saw your face.

Against all odds, the skeleton key fit and soon he was free of the restraints. They struck the metal tabletop heavily and with a stinging clatter, resonating through your mind in an echo that shook you with dread and despair—the foreboding of some grave consequence soon to come that you did not yet understand.

He sat astride the table for a moment, doing little besides testing his range of movement, the entire width that he could spread his arms, flexed his fingers and toes, felt all the different regions of himself and all the different men he now was. And, once he was ready to get off the table, his gait listed a little to the right on his weaker leg.

“Please, my love, let's just leave,” you told him, curling yourself around one of his arms as he lumbered towards the staircase leading back up. “Let that man be! Let him rot all his own without us here! We can still be together, and I still love you.”

Perhaps, in what remained of his psyche, he loved you too, but could no longer understand what a dream was nor the true complexities of longing.

What he could understand was that you'd never stop trying to thwart him, so once on the second floor where the bedrooms were swallowed in black static silence, he shoved you into yours and jammed the door so you couldn't get out.

At first, your father didn't drunkenly stir awake to the sound of your voice calling out hysterically from your room, fists pounding against the wall directly above his bed. It was only when the creature had grabbed him around his head with massive hands, squeezing him like a tightening belt, thumb pads pressing into his eyes that he was truly awake.

The agonized screams of your father were only dampened by your screams of terror from the other side of the wall.

[vvatchword]

I nearly forgot to post my monthly for August. August has been just... oh jesus. something else. Here. Take this ugly first draft thing. I don't like it very much right now, but it exists, and that's more than I could say before.

Technically, I've been in crunch for the last three months. This has not stopped me from writing. There's a post going around right now by a... I don't know who they are? A public speaker?... who shares a little story about Van Gogh, with the moral of the story being "Art is in spite of suffering and not because of it." And although I think that can absolutely be true--that you don't need to suffer to produce good art--it certainly ain't true of me. I need to be in pain. I need to be angry. At the very least, I need to be confused. And in each of these states, I need to be curious about why that is. Suffering is very often meaningless, but it's also nice to build a framework for comprehending it.

If you can't have a plot without fictional suffering...

August is too many words again, although this time at least 20,000 words came from only two days. Early in the month, I had a deep desire for Good Endings, and wrote a few for myself. Very doubtful any of them will make it into public, but they were very good for me, thanks.

The real reason I haven't been able to finish this story, despite its absurd size, is that I was fixed firmly on Johnny Topside and only Johnny Topside. Every now and then I'd get a brain bug and work on Dr. Lamb--but even then, that was somewhat grudgingly. I'm now at the point that any kind of work on Topside relies almost entirely on what happens to Dr. Lamb and how she influences her followers.

And so, with a great grumble, I finally started working solely on Dr. Lamb and Lackeys sections.

Stanley Poole is absurdly fun to write--if I can get this done, you'll see why. I ended up stumbling into a facet of him that was weirdly personal. Unfortunately, I wrote as far as I could on his storyline; I now require the other three generals, because ideally all five of these characters rub off on one another and help illustrate and build up Lamb herself. I've got Grace down, I've got Gilbert... the only real problem now is Wales, the Biggest Nothing Ever. There is no reason for him to be Nothing except that I know nothing about architects, architecture of the period, or the place Wales came from. The only things I understand about him are Objectivism, Puritanical Belief Systems, Art, Perfectionism, the Sting of Failure, Depression, On the Outside Looking In Because U Just Got Punted into an Alley for Being Shit, and the Lure of the Metaphysical. You will note these are very imprecise and say little, really. I need to know about his childhood. I need to know about where and when he grew up. I need some colours out of earth.

One thing I'm very curious about is how this writing hyperfocus--which, if I can get to November, will have lasted an ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR, fucking unhinged and completely unlike anything I've ever experienced before--will affect Future Me. A winter is coming for me, whether I like it or not, and I'll definitely need it, but... I wonder if I can carry any of this knowledge and capability into future projects.

So much of this was fueled by passion. It's arguable it was nothing but passion. It's me taking my lumps and then translating them into prose as fast as life gives them to me. But I'm also impressed by the pieces of the work that I just worked on because they needed to be there and for no other reason. I'm impressed by the work I did out of duty years ago that still holds up, and the work I did on the bus while someone was screaming slurs. Art that exists is always better than the art that seems perfect in your head--at least it's out now, at least it's saying something, even if that something is imperfect. You can't fix what doesn't exist.

I'm also impressed by how I now know instantly what kinds of sections are necessary and in what orders, up to how many chapters are necessary to express the points that need to be impressed, with the only question marks being how to illustrate those points best. The next step will be to see if I have gotten too rote and see if I can't break out of those habits--maybe look up some alternate styles and writers and try to copy them. Just for challenge's sake, you know. I often find favorite phrases and methods and overuse them.

You might be asking at this point: "Wait! What about the BioShock Infinite stuff?" And I reply: this is about August and I only started writing BSI stuff in September. And also, I realized (very grudgingly) that I need to read a LOT more books before I can really start work, then play/watch BSI again. Napciyunka shared some headcanons with me and I played with them and then I realized he was like Oh Jesus don't take all my headcanons and I was like OH yeah that would be awkward and rude wouldn't it

...wait a stinking minute. Look at my story statistics. There is no reading time. I broke it rofllll

[silversatoru]

Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!

hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33

empty

levi ackerman x gn!reader

synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help

tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending! 

word count: 2.2k 

Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have. 

Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.

You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you. 

You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern. 

“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge. 

“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed. 

“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”

“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse. 

“That’s an order, cadet”. 

His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety. 

Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.

That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine.  Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself. 

After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul. 

Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions. 

You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something? 

It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again. 

You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts. 

Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face. 

Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you. 

The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.

“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.

“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”. 

“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?” 

Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?

You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head. 

“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway. 

“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?” 

“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”. 

“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”

His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore. 

“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words. 

“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.

You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.

“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up. 

He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth. 

“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again. 

The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed. 

“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”. 

“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear. 

Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least. 

You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips. 

“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”. 

You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it. 

And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long. 

But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress. 

It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.

thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit

[wafflesandkruge]

One Early Morning in Os Alta

Nikolai accidentally drinks one of David's experiments and becomes obsessed with solving the mystery that is Zoya Nazyalensky. The Triumvirate is his most unwilling audience as he attempts to piece together where she goes at night with nothing but his caffeine-fueled brain and a chalkboard.

Written for the @grishaversebigbang mini bang! Thank you so much to the amazing @kolarpem (x) and @denndrawings​ (x) who created beautiful art for this fic 🥺 ❤️  

ao3

In their three short years of marriage, Genya and David had developed a morning routine. David, eager to get to the labs early so he could have the room to himself, would wake at the crack of dawn like clockwork and share a few sleepy kisses with her before getting on his way. After a few more hours of much-needed beauty sleep, Genya would commandeer some breakfast and find him tinkering away at whatever project Nikolai had put him to. It was a comfortable rhythm, a familiar constant in their otherwise hectic lives.

But today, Genya was just drifting off to sleep again after being woken by her husband when the door to their bedroom slammed open to reveal a very disheveled David. His glasses were slightly more askew than usual and his kefta rumpled. Genya let out a small yawn.

“David? What’s wrong?”

“There has been a development.” He didn’t elaborate further as he strode over to their wardrobe and pulled out her kefta. She tugged it over her head without question and followed him sleepily out of the room. They’d been together long enough that she’d learned not to try to get him to elaborate. He’d either clam up for hours trying to find the right words or talk in circles trying to fully explain a very easily explainable situation. Only the Saints knew what it was this time. She just hoped it was something easily resolvable so she could go back to sleep. Perhaps a puppy running loose in the labs, or an Inferni who’d burned off their eyebrows and wanted her to Tailor them back. Simple things.

But instead of the labs, David pulled her into Nikolai’s bedroom and Genya knew it was going to be a long day. Tamar and Tolya were already seated on a sofa, both with their arms crossed and similar scowls on their faces. Zoya was absent. And Nikolai was animatedly scribbling on a large blackboard that had been wheeled to the front of the room, “ZOYA NAZYALENSKY” scrawled at the top in large letters and circled three times for emphasis. The rest of the board was covered in near incomprehensible writing and doodles.

Genya frowned as David pulled her down into the seat next to him. “Did you steal that from the Little Palace, Nikolai? How will the children learn?”

Her king didn’t answer. He seemed busy working on a doodle of what looked like a five legged tiger on a corner of the board. David patted her hand absentmindedly as he opened his notebook and started scribbling as well.

“Is anyone going to explain this to me?” Genya asked mildly as Tolya slid a cup of tea towards her. She supposed the Triumvirate had seen worse, and their king acting like a man possessed didn’t rank particularly high on their list, but she still didn’t appreciate being woken up early for this. If anything, the twins should have just knocked him out and then everyone could get their well deserved rest.

Tamar crossed her arms. Her short hair stuck up in every direction as if she’d just rolled out of bed. “Well, your genius husband over there,” she starts, her tone not quite complimentary, “was working on one of his little experiments again.”

Genya nodded distractedly as she removed a small mirror from the inside of her sleeve. David took it from her obediently and held it up as she began Tailoring away the dark circles under her eyes. It wasn’t a substitute for her lost sleep, but it’d have to do for now.

“Coffee with a mild strain of parem in it for an extra stimulant,” David explained as she moved on to bringing more color into her cheeks. “Since you’re always complaining about the Little Palace’s coffee leaving you groggier than before.”

Genya’s hands stilled as she offered David a small smile. Even after knowing him for this long, his kindness never failed to surprise her. “That’s lovely, dear. But how does that relate to Nikolai acting like...this?”

Both of them jumped when Nikolai let out a rather concerning cackle. He had moved on from the deformed tiger to a caricature of someone who looked alarmingly like General Pensky. Genya scanned the board, barely able to decipher his scribbling. Secret lover...treason...illicit rendezvous? She furrowed her brows.

Tolya glowered at them from his spot next to his sister. “Nikolai drank David’s experiment. And now he refuses to administer the antidote because he wants to observe his behavior for the sake of science.”

“That’s not strictly true,” David said as he handed the mirror back to Genya and picked up his pencil again. “I don’t have an antidote ready. Instead of taking the time and labor to manufacture one, we might as well just wait for it to wear off naturally.”

Tolya opened his mouth again to argue, but then a piece of chalk flew by, barely missing Genya’s nose. Nikolai slammed his hands on the table and her tea splashed out of its cup. 

All four of their heads turned towards their king. His shirt was buttoned incorrectly, his hair wild, and a distinctly unhinged look in his eyes. His jacket was tied around his shoulders like a cape. It had to be the worst Genya has ever seen him, though there had been that time when Kirigin had convinced him to do a few shots of that whiskey from the Wandering Isles and he’d been convinced he was a saint—

“Friends!” His voice was entirely too loud for the intimate setting. “I have gathered you here today to solve one of our most pressing problems.”

“Our empty coffers?” Genya asked with a yawn.

“Impending war on three fronts?” offered Tolya.

“My brother’s incurable love for five hour poetry recitations?” 

David continued silently taking notes in his book.

“No,” Nikolai declared with an empathetic shake of his head, “we’re here to discuss the mystery of...Zoya Nazyalensky.”

He stepped to the side and for the first time, Genya was able to see the entirety of the blackboard he’d been writing on. Not a single inch of it had been spared from his rather enthusiastic scrawl and doodles like he was preparing to give them the world’s most fascinating lecture on the enigma that was Zoya. Genya felt a headache incoming.

“Perhaps we could do this at a more reasonable hour,” she began, but Nikolai smacked his hand against the blackboard which sent up a giant cloud of chalk dust.

“Nonsense! There’s no time like the present, and Zoya is away so it’s the perfect time to speculate upon her true intentions.” He waved his arm towards a bullet point at the top of the board, but in his eagerness, nearly knocked the entire board over. Genya let out another yawn and sank back into the couch. Maybe he wouldn’t notice if she dozed off.

“Where does she go at night?” Nikolai demanded as he began pacing furiously. The papers pinned to the board fluttered in his wake. “About once a week or so, the palace guards tell me she’s seen walking on the grounds late at night, alone. She’s almost certainly meeting with someone. But who? And why?”

“Are you sure you don’t have an antidote?” she whispered to David.

“Positive.” He scratched his ear, a sure sign he was lying. Genya sighed. She supposed she’d have him make it up to her later. She knew better than to talk him out of one of science moods. 

“A lover!” Nikolai continued. “She has a secret lover!”

Genya knew for a fact Zoya had no one in her heart other than their king as much as she liked pretending she hated him and his entire existence. In her own opinion, it probably had something to do with the very expensive gifts Nikolai routinely offered because Zoya was nothing if not a creature of luxury. Still, she took a sip of her tea and raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Do go on.”

“At first I thought it was General Pensky, but he’s been stationed at the border for over a month and the night walks haven’t stopped. So that leaves no other option than…” Nikolai’s eyes narrowed. He executed a sloppy about-face that any army commander would have had him running laps for and pointed an accusing finger at Tolya. “You’re Zoya’s secret lover!”

Tolya frowned and crossed his arms. “I would rather go back to Novyi Zem and become a jurda farmer. Less chance of sudden death.”

Nikolai grabbed at his hair. “But if you’re not seeing Zoya...and Tamar isn’t– you’re not right?”

“I’m married, Nikolai.”

“Right, right, right,” he muttered. He turned back to look at his board. “Then there’s only one other answer.”

“We all go back to bed?” Genya suggested.

Nikolai turned to her, an oddly intense look in his eyes. “How could you suggest we all retire when Zoya is plotting against the throne?”

Genya blinked. “How exactly did you get there?”

“It all makes sense!” Nikolai babbled excitedly. He waved his arms in excitement. “The late night walks. The secrecy. Why she’s always so mean to me—”

“She’s mean to everyone,” Tamar interjected.

“She’s working with the Fjerdans! Or the Shu! Of course, I should have seen it from the start…”

Genya tuned him out again as he went back to drawing on the board while muttering to himself about how the Fjerdan’s diabolical plan to have Zoya seduce him was working too well. She put her head on David’s shoulder and focused on the page of notes he was working on. Except instead of notes, it was a sketch of a woman’s face. Her face. As she watched, his pencil scratched out the curve of her lips, one corner lifted in a half smile. “What are you doing, dear?”

“Studying something beautiful,” he answered without a moment of hesitation. 

Genya’s lips curled into a smile as she let her eyes shut. “You’re sweet today. Maybe we should let Nikolai poison himself more often.”

“There’s a seventy percent chance his heart would give out if we attempted this more than once a week.”

“Regicide,” Genya said with a sigh, “How romantic.”

[andypantsx3]

say the word and you know i’ll follow

pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader

status: complete

length: 3,262 words

summary: While moving in with Shouto, you get caught up reliving the scene of his confession. Quite literally.

(A smutty oneshot sequel to my fic if i could keep cool.)

tags: romance, reader-insert, fluff, smut

warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, cunnilingus, light bondage

notes: Also cross-posted on my AO3! The manga really has me all in my Todo feels rn but I don't wanna write a whole other fic before I finish the Hawks one, so please have this fluffy smutty one shot as a compromise. It likely won’t make sense unless you’ve read if i could keep cool first, so please check it out if you have the time!

It was sweltering when you stepped outside to make your way to Shouto’s apartment.

A thin film of sweat immediately began to build wherever your skin pressed against the box you carried, and the sun beat down furiously on the crown of your head. You instantly started to second guess your choice to take the train, wondering how dumb of a move it had been to decline an alternative means of transit. It was going to be like being packed into a sardine can and roasted over a hot stove.

Shouto had offered to send an agency car, but there were only so many more times you were going to make the trip from your crumbling student apartment to his place, and you had wanted to make the most of it. You didn’t even really need to bring boxes over just yet--as Shouto had hired a moving company to take care of everything next week--but you didn’t want to lose anything that was inside this one. This one held all your most treasured items--keepsakes from your friends, a pressed white tulip, and all the gifts Shouto had ever given you (minus, of course, the vegetables).

Steeling yourself for an uncomfortable twenty minutes, you set off towards the station, weaving through the tired crowds of people who looked just as sun-weary as you. Thankfully, with a hat over your face and a box you could shift to obscure your features, very few people seemed to recognize you as you did so.

A lot of the media attention surrounding your mishap a year ago had died down, and you had been good about keeping your relationship mostly private, so you weren’t exactly a household name to most people. But there were enough twitter-savvy teens and meme-literate college students that you were sometimes recognized as you went about your daily life.

This time, you were only eyed curiously by one pair of teenage girls as they bundled into the train car across from you, but they didn’t say anything to you, didn’t ask you to reenact the most embarrassing five seconds of your entire life into their phones, as many often did. The box hid you from the rest of the train car, and no one else seemed to take interest in your presence.

After exiting the train at downtown, you made it to Shouto’s building in record time, all but rocket-fueled by your desire to get out of the hot sun. The security team in the lobby of his building gave you friendly nods as you passed, one of them graciously pressing the button for the elevator so you didn’t have to fumble around your box.

You thanked her, making your way into the elevator and elbowing the button for Shouto’s floor. The elevator was even cooler than the lobby, and you shivered in delight as the frigid chill of air conditioning washed over you. God, this building was so fucking nice compared to yours. You were going to be spoiled as fuck once you lived here.

You made it to Shouto’s floor without incident, though digging in your bag for your keys was impossible at the moment, so you knocked on his door as firmly as you could manage with the box still balanced in your arms.

There were a few seconds of silence. Then, the door swung open and Shouto stood there, grinning at you.

His hair still looked a little damp from a recent shower, and he was wearing a dark button up over a soft tee shirt and a pair of dark jeans. He looked unbearably good, as boyishly handsome as ever, and your heart gave an embarrassing little stutter, like it always did whenever you saw him. You suspected it was always going to be like that, no matter how long the two of you had been dating.

Shouto’s eyebrows went up as he considered the box in your arms. That heterochromatic gaze picked over you curiously, expression going carefully blank, like it typically did when he was up to some mischief. And then, after a long moment, he spoke.

“You’re not wearing the scarf,” he said, sounding upset.

You stared up at him, feeling your brow wrinkle. The scarf? It was fucking summer, and the scarf was neatly tucked away in the box you were holding. It was literally boiling hot just outside the well-air conditioned hallways of his building. Why on earth did he think you would be wearing--

You inhaled a little sharply when the answer hit you.

The scarf.

The scarf was the first thing he had mentioned the day he had finally confessed to you. Well, after you had confessed first, really, on national television earlier that week, that you were thirsty as hell for him and were also really bad at picking up subtle clues. Or overt clues. Or any clues, honestly.

But now you were standing in his hallway with a box again, and he was clearly remembering what had happened the last time you had done so.

You wracked your brain for what you had said to him in reply that day, trying to hone in on the words past the sudden swell of embarrassment.

“Uh, it’s in here,” you finally replied, gesturing to the box.

That grey and blue gaze dropped to the parcel in your arms, then flickered up to your face. You pushed the box at him, the way you had the day he’d confessed, feeling just as squirmish as you had then.

What else had you said to him? Something very watery and over dramatic, likely. Something like...

“It’s all, um, there--if you wanted to check,” you said. “Except for the vegetables obviously. But I can pay you back, if you give me a couple months.”

Shouto was clearly suppressing a smirk as he feigned curiosity. “Pay me….what?”

You suppressed your own absurd laugh, wondering how far down mortifying memory lane he wanted to go.

“I also wrote down a recommendation for a new cleaning lady, if you want,” you said, patting the top of the box. “It’s in there. Her name’s Mika, she’s super nice. And I can message you or your manager when I have the money. Just let me know which one you’d prefer. Or I can have Mika drop it off.”

Shouto gripped the box, then, long, elegant fingers pulling back the flaps for him to peer inside. He looked absolutely delighted to find the scarf actually within. In one fluid movement, he pulled the scarf out, depositing the box behind him, and turned back to grab your sleeve, pulling you quickly into the apartment with him.

“Okay, what are you doing with the scarf this time?” you laughed, breaking character.

One white eyebrow went up as Shouto gripped your wrist firmly, eyeing you closely as he pulled off your baseball cap.

“Mm,” he hummed absently in his deep tone. “Something I should have done the first time.” He caught your other wrist, pressing it into the sinfully soft fabric of your favorite accessory.

You looked at him, bewildered, feeling your mouth twist into a slight frown. You rather liked the way things had gone the first time around, considering that you had ended up with a boyfriend at the end of it all. What was his bone to pick with the first time around?

“Uh, if I’m recalling correctly, the first time went great,” you said to him. “Like, really really great. Christening your countertops several different times great.”

There was a flash of white teeth as Shouto grinned.

“Ah, but I missed an opportunity,” he said. A soft sensation slid over your other wrist, and you looked down in confusion.

Then it hit you what he was up to, and your face instantly went up in flames.

A firm tug had your wrists knotted together, and Shouto smirked down at you, tugging you closer by the silky fabric of your scarf. Your stomach swooped at the intent look in his eye.

“I had been upset you weren’t wearing the scarf,” he said. “But there was an easy way to fix that.”

You swallowed heavily, your tongue feeling strangely thick. Your brain was suddenly, but predictably, very very empty.

“Y-yeah. But technically you, um. You did fix it,” you babbled helplessly, limbs growing shivery with static as Shouto pressed closer. He was so warm, and he was so stupidly handsome.

“I’ve, uh, worn it a lot since,” you managed.

Shouto considered you quietly, a familiar, wry little smile pressing at the corner of his mouth.

Before you’d started dating, you’d been confused as hell by that expression, suspecting it meant he was bewildered by your very existence but was too polite to say so. After just over a year together, however, you had learned that was just what his face did when he thought you were being unreasonably appealing. Which, mystifyingly, was mostly when the working part of your brain disconnected from your mouth.

You scrounged around for other coherent words, thoughts thick and sluggish, like you were thinking through pudding.

Shouto, however, was merciful, putting an end to your suffering by leaning down and taking your mouth with his.

All the coherent thought you’d managed to dredge up melted away like frost under the morning sun. You pressed yourself closer to him, leaning up to give him better access to your mouth. Shouto kissed you as stupid as he always did before a hot hand came up to cup your face, thumb sliding over your cheek affectionately.

“It seems I’ve got you in the scarf as I had wanted,” Shouto said quietly, once he let you up for air. “But now I find that the scarf is all I want you in.”

You opened your mouth to respond, though what you might have said was as much a mystery to you as anyone. But all that managed to come out was a choked, breathy little noise.

Shouto laughed.

Then there were large hands on your waist, and the next thing you knew, you were staring down at the wood paneling of Shouto’s floor as it moved underneath you. Shouto adjusted you over his shoulder briefly, and then he was charting a brisk course to his bedroom, depositing you like an errant pillow back onto his sheets.

Your cheeks burned as he crawled over you, gaze hot and searching.

“Are you alright, love?” he asked.

You nodded vehemently, eyes pulled to the little flat sliver of his abs where his shirt had ridden up.

“Good, yeah, I’m so good,” you managed to garble out. You were going to be so embarrassed about this later, but as usual when it came to him, you really couldn’t help it. If you’d learned anything in the year you’d been together, it was that you would always have the world’s fattest crush on Shouto Todoroki.

Strong fingers came up to grasp your chin, tipping your face up for another searing kiss. You managed to loop your bound arms over the back of Shouto’s neck, tangling your fingers in his soft hair and pulling him down to you more firmly.

Shouto flattened himself against you, so that you could feel every strong plane of his body, every hard muscle. You shuddered, and you could feel Shouto smirk against your mouth.

“Like that, do you?” he asked, hands pulling at your shirt. You wiggled so that he could pull it out from under you, sliding it up to rest just below the scarf. In the next second he’d also gotten you out of your pants, so that you were mostly bare to him in the cool apartment air.

Shouto looked you over for a moment, looking like he still couldn’t believe you existed. “Having you over the countertops was something that I wouldn’t change. Something that I won’t change, once you move in.”

Your face went hot and you squirmed underneath him.

“However,” he said softly, “I believe I would have liked to have been more deliberate with you. Taken my time with you,” he paused. “Perhaps...I might have made you come once for every photo of me on your twitter.”

The tips of your ears went hot. Jesus Christ, he couldn’t be serious.

You had deleted that twitter over a year ago, and though he’d apparently been allowed access to the contents by his manager (rude) there was absolutely no way he could remember how many pictures of him you’d retweeted. You’d been the one doing the retweeting, and even you didn’t remember, though you thought the number was probably embarrassingly high.

“There was like, one,” you squeaked out.

Shouto’s smile went dark and he leaned over you, his perfect, infuriating mouth so close he might have kissed you again.

“Thirteen,” he said, mouth brushing yours as he spoke. “There were thirteen photos of me on your twitter. All while you tried so hard to act like you didn’t want me, that you wanted to be just friends.”

“Hey, you said you wanted to be my friend,” you protested. You jerked when his hand slid up your side to cup a breast, thumb slipping under the band of your bra.

“You weren’t accepting my gifts,” he said, fingers grazing your nipple. You bit down on an embarrassing noise, letting out a sharp breath. “How else was I to make you take them?”

You opened your mouth to respond but Shouto made another pass over your nipple, and a moan escaped you instead.

“That’s right, love,” he said encouragingly. “Now I’m going to make you give me something in return. Thirteen somethings, in fact.”

He peeled down the cup of your bra, fastening his hot mouth over your breast. You whined, twitching when he flattened his tongue, dragging it slowly over the point of your nipple. A strong arm came up to press your hands down over your head.

“Shouto, thirteen is insane,” you panted.

He paid you no mind, instead swirling his tongue in a way that made your vision blur.

A tugging at your wrists made you look up, in time to see Shouto one-handedly looping the long end of the scarf through the slats on his headboard and pulling tight. Your whole body clenched up at the implication.

The slide of fabric over your breasts told you that Shouto had also managed to get your bra up, and hot mouth closed over your other nipple, long fingers carefully plucking at the other. “We have all weekend, love. Thirteen is ambitious but quite possible.”

You made a weak noise of acknowledgement, hips shifting forward against his stomach.

Shouto laughed, hot breath ghosting over your breast, and then he was crawling down your torso, hands grasping your underwear. He pulled it down slowly, torturously, until he managed to get it off you, then pulled your knee over his shoulder.

You whimpered, feeling like you might actually pass out from how hot he looked, one thigh thrown carelessly over his shoulder, gaze intent, staring down at you like a starving man looking at a hot meal.

You squirmed, trying to pull your arms down to get your hands on him, but the scarf held fast, pulling more firmly over your wrists.

“Shouto, please,” you said, though whether you were begging for him to touch you or to let you go, even you didn’t know.

Shouto seemed to take it as permission. Those two-toned eyes passed over you hotly, and then he was leaning down, biting down gently on the inside of your thigh. You jerked violently, but he held you in place, mouth trailing slowly, slowly down to where you wanted him.

You thought you might actually black out before he got where he was going.

“I can’t believe I ever told you you were unwelcome in my apartment,” he murmured, sucking a slow bruise into the skin at the crease of your thigh. “Once you move in, I’m never going to let you leave it.”

“Oh my god,” you said.

Shouto’s tongue flicked out, catching the edge of your sex, and you tried not to choke on air.

Then, finally, he moved, fastening his mouth over you, exactly where you wanted him. All reason completely left you.

After that, everything was an unbearable flurry of feeling--a soft tongue swirling over you, the tickle of his bangs on your stomach, the press of broad shoulders between your knees. There was the rasp of his sheets between your shoulder blades, the slow, deliberate press of two fingers inside of you, a firm grip on your thigh, fingers digging in tightly.

You could feel every point of connection with him, every minute movement of his mouth over you, and the sensation built up into something so horribly, terribly good. You were unable to do anything but writhe and pant underneath him, babbling something that sounded like it might be an approximation of his name.

Shouto hummed and sucked softly, those long fingers curling inside you. He finally hit a spot that made you see stars, and you practically lifted off the bed, back bowing. Shouto licked you through it, tongue curling expertly around your clit while you sobbed out his name, only slowing when your body went slack, collapsing back into his sheets.

When you could see straight once more, you realized he was staring up at you, that wry smile curling the corner of his mouth again.

You fought down a blush, feeling an embarrassed grin pull at the corner of your own mouth.

“You’re unreal,” you said. “I can’t believe I’m going to get to have you all the time.”

Shouto pressed a short kiss to the skin of your hip. “You already have me all the time.”

You flapped a hand in its bindings. “You know what I mean. I can’t believe we’re going to live together.”

His fingers slid gently over the back of your thigh. “I’d have had you in here sooner, if you hadn’t insisted on graduating first.”

You laughed. He was always so very straightforward about whatever he wanted.

He had been making very unsubtle noises about living together only a few months into your relationship, but you’d insisted that you wait at least a year. He’d grown up with more conservative mores, having been raised a rich boy, and taking things quickly once he knew he was serious about you seemed to be the style of things. But you, despite your frankly unreasonable thirst for your own boyfriend, knew the value of taking things just a little bit slower.

So you’d waited a year, just to be prudent, though you’d known all along how things would end up.

And now he finally had his way.

“I’m all yours now,” you promised, laughing. “Soon you’ll be sick of me hogging the bed, and leaving books everywhere, and getting so blackout at the farmer’s market that we don’t have room for all the vegetables.”

“Ah, you’re using me for vegetable access,” he accused, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the smile he was attempting to smother into your thigh.

“A girl’s gotta have her priorities,” you grinned.

Something lit up in Shouto’s gaze again, and he shifted up against your thigh to lean over you more fully. His fingers gripped the back of your knee tightly.

“I'll make you pay for that,” he promised darkly. “Twelve more times.”

You shivered as he took your mouth again, fingers sliding back between your thighs with obvious intent.

And then you really did. You paid for it.

Twelve more times.

[imissjoongsmullet]

My Prince (6 - final)

Pairing: Minghao x reader

Genre: fluff/(angst)

Summary: Life is not exactly easy being the royal gardeners’ daughter but at least it’s simple. When you’re suddenly called upon to serve as the prince’s personal servant, things get a little more than complicated, especially considering the secret history you and the prince share.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Warnings: general angstiness, a bit of a slow burn, very romantic, very soft, the fact that this will most likely become a long series cause I have no chill

Word Count: 6.5K

Author’s Note:

This final chapter finally fulfills the premise that this is in fact fluff. I promise I’m done breaking your hearts now, woohoo!

My Prince has grown so near and dear to my heart. I don’t usually write long fanfics so this was really quite special. I know I might sound overly dramatic or corny to some of you (and that’s okay). It’s just, I try to be intentional with everything I do. That’s why I wanted to do this right. That’s why I’ve gotten so attached. That’s why it’s taken me forever to finish as well probably haha!

This story is far from perfect. There are countless things that I would have liked to sculpt out more... but I think for that to have happened this would have to become a full on novel and that’s not what this was ever meant to be, so I’ve got to let go of those thoughts and just send it out into the world as it is.

In any case, I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed reading this story as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. As always, please let me know what you think. As a writer, any type of feedback makes my heart flutter~

Thank you for all the love and support ♥

►

You fell to the floor, your shriek buried in the chaos that surrounded you. There was so much noise so suddenly and none of it sounded good. Panicked, you raised your head to see the entrance to the room had been broken wide open and soldiers in silver and black attire were pouring in, brandishing swords, fire and crossbows. Yientan. Another cry left your lips as you scrambled backwards until you hit the wall behind you. They were here. They must have found out about the wedding and wanted to stop it before a legend could take away their power.

Strong hands grabbed you by the collar and you screamed out for help. You struggled in your attempt to pry the stranger off of you until you noticed the face that belonged to it.

“Come on!” Minghao ordered, dragging you up. He took your hand and set off at a sprint, leaving behind the bulk of the commotion. You could hear banging and screaming from other directions as well though. They must have the whole castle surrounded. Luckily Minghao knew all the secret, little passages attackers tended to overlook. It didn’t take long for you to realize where he was taking you. Before you could come to your senses, you were dragged through the heavy doors to Minghao’s private chambers and sat onto his bed.

“Stay here,” he said, kneeling at your side, clasping your palms in your lap, “don’t leave until it’s all over.” He got up and turned to leave.

“Wait!” you called, stopping him midway, “you can’t go out there!”

“I have to,” he replied stone faced.

“No!” Now it was you holding onto him. “Please don’t—” Your fingers dug into his robes with desperation.

“I have a responsibility,” he said, “I have to go—”

“Then I’m coming too,” you cut in but he shook his head.

“You can’t help,” he explained, “I can so I’m going.” He eyed you sternly for a few more seconds before softening. He sighed, brushing his hand over your cheek lovingly and finally saying, “do not follow me.”

“Hao, please,” you called as he pulled away. You ran to him just in time to keep him from shutting the door behind him entirely. Only a sliver of his face was visible in the gap.

“Stay safe,” he said, before vanishing.

In stunned silence you let the doors fall shut. You walked over to the bed and sat down because your legs felt shaky and your head dizzyingly light. Outside, the uproar continued to grow but Minghao had told you to stay. Your heart ached. It pulled and tugged at you, trying to get you to move but you couldn’t. You didn’t want to disappoint him. Your fingers wrapped around one of the silk pillows on his bed. Closing your eyes, you hugged the thing close. It was all you could do not to cry. You just wanted everything to be okay— for everything to go back to normal. But you supposed none of Minghao’s life had ever really been normal.

A loud crashing sound made you jump. Some large piece of glass must have just shattered somewhere. You got up from the bed and began to pace the room. You clamped your hands over your ears in a miserable attempt to shut out the madness. Shutting your eyes didn’t help either. The itch to do something was growing unbearable. When a few minutes later a crack so deep it was like walls crumbling made the wooden floor tremble, you decided that enough was enough.

Head in overdrive, you went for the window. Its balcony was wide and looked out over the east side of the gardens. Tonight, there were only balls of fire within the dark. With a sickening lurch, you thought of your parents. Had they managed to hide or escape? Or had the attackers set flame to their house while they slept, trapping them in an excruciating death? Panicking, you went for the balcony ledge. Once your feet found balance, you grabbed onto the ornate pillars and started to climb. The plan seemed insane and yet, somehow you felt like the adventurous prince had definitely made this climb before. With that information fueling your confidence, you made it onto the roof above the prince’s chambers.

From here, you could see most of the castle and its grounds. A landscape of hills and valleys lay before you in the form of various curved rooftops. It would have been quite beautiful if it hadn’t been for the screams and the fire. You didn’t know what you were doing, really. You just wanted to know everything was going to be alright. Besides, you’d never forgive yourself if something happened to Minghao while you hid away like a coward.

How many people were fighting down there? How much of a chance did they stand against Yientan? And what could Minghao possibly do in all this? You didn’t even know if he knew how to fight.

Hunching down to a crouch, you made your way toward the center part of the castle. You looked down wherever you could, trying to get a feel of the situation. You saw two servant girls running on a deck as they cried. You saw men fighting in little courtyards, blood staining their clothes. You saw the wooden walkway towards the prince’s library collapse in flames. All of this roused an anger in you that surprised you. You’d never been the bravest of people— you still weren’t. But something was taking over you. It didn’t matter that this castle had been the bane of your existence for the past few months. The castle was under attack and you felt it as you’d feel an attack on your own family. You jumped from roof to roof, wracking your brain over a way to help.

Something sharp whooshed past you and you gasped. You were just in time to turn around and see the Yientan soldier standing on a nearby rooftop, reaching for another arrow. You ducked away towards a lower part of the roof, suddenly feeling the sharp sting on your cheek. There were hurried footsteps behind you and you were running out of options. Your rooftopped landscape came to an end as you happened upon the center courtyard of the castle, where more soldiers fought.

Hoping fiercely you weren’t making the wrong decision, you jumped.

The landing was harsh and you failed to stifle the noise that fought to come out your mouth. A man dressed in silver and black turned your way.

Wasting no time, hopped onto the deck and dashed into the nearest corridor, running as fast as you could in your clumsy servant’s robes. You were disoriented and scared but also determent to outrun the soldier. The long hallways of the castle once again felt like a devious maze, trying to suffocate you. You turned a corner and half-fell-half-jumped down a narrow flight of stairs. Ignoring the sting in your left leg, you rushed along a half open deck, ducked under a low archway that lead you down to the underbelly of the castle. Here, it was pitch black except for the spaced out torch light that hung from the walls. Luckily, you knew where you were going. This lowest level of the castle was used for storage and servant work deemed too dirty to be looked upon by the masters. You took a right through a small door, finding yourself in one of the washrooms the servants used. Just as the soldier’s feet hit the wood floor behind you, you opened one of the closets and grabbed as many fresh sheets as you possibly could, throwing them over him. You watched him struggle for only the fraction of a second before escaping through a side door. You knew exactly where to hide.

You reached your destination within a minute, lowering yourself into a little crawlspace underneath the floorboards of the broom closet servants used to hide from Tou Ma when she was angry. You’d only have to wait a few minutes for the soldier to give up and leave and then you’d be safe. You were about to close up the floorboards when you heard the most dreadful sound in the world.

It was Minghao. He was screaming.

Without a second thought, you burst back into the corridor. You followed the echo of the scream in your mind. It wasn’t far off. It was right here, under the castle. You tried every door, finding deserted room after deserted room, wondering why Minghao was even here, hidden away from all the commotion.

Aside from the soldier that had followed you down, you hadn’t seen a single person down this low. Perhaps you’d imagined it, you thought, just as you slid through another open door you knew lead to the pantry.

The most shocking thing was not that Minghao was there; it was that the emperor of Namin was there too.

Minghao was knelt over his father’s form, shuddering slightly.

“Hao,” you whispered as you approached, an awkward feeling settling in your stomach. Something was very wrong. Tentatively, you knelt down beside the prince, gasping when you saw the blood. Panicked, you looked down, now noticing the dark trail on the floorboards.

“What— what happened?” you stammered. Minghao hadn’t acknowledged you yet. He was doubled over, tears falling down onto his father’s chest.

“Don’t leave me.” His voice was so thick with emotion the words were barely audible.

You knew the emperor wouldn’t reply.

“Please, father,” Minghao whimpered.

You’d never seen him like this; torn apart like an old book. Afraid of making things worse, you sat by and waited. The war outside didn’t matter now. You allowed his sobs to turn to quiet slowly.

When they had, Minghao straightened his back and looked at you. His face was red and blotchy. The pain in his eyes made you want to wrap your heart around him.

“He got shot,” he said at last. His hand reached out for yours and you took it, surprised at the tightness of his fingers around you.

“I found him back in the celebration hall I— I didn’t know what to do. I just knew I couldn’t let Yientan have him so I tried to find a place to hide him but by the time I got here he was barely breathing and—” fresh tears burned in his eyes, “he just— I can’t do this without him I can’t—”

“Hao— ” you started just as a creak in the floorboards made you both jump.

Over a dozen people shuffled into the room, each person looking more perplexed than the next at the sight of Minghao and the emperor. You blinked in surprise at the appearances of the Zhong family, a bit battered and stunned-looking but otherwise fine. Last to enter the room was Tou Ma. Her face paint had smudged, there was blood at her temple and her robe was ripped at the sleeve.

“Stay back, girls,” she said with a voice just as stern as ever before coming over. Her face turned grim the moment she got on her knees and took in the sight. Her eyes widened, her nostrils flared and her thin lips parted. She took a few moments to regain her calm. Gently, she flattened out a crinkle in her robe as she cleared her voice at last.

“My prince,” she spoke solemnly, “from the heart of Namin, I offer my deepest condolences.”

Minghao continued to stare down at his father’s chest.

“Tomorrow we mourn the end of the era— tonight—” she paused, her wrinkles tugging into a frown, “tonight lies in your hands.”

The words hung in the dusty storage room air, settling over the people within it, slowly, like bits of falling snow.

“My prince?” Tou Ma said and her voice was softer than you’d ever heard it.

Minghao hadn’t moved an inch. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking either.

Strands of messed up hair hung in front of his face as he looked down at the emperor. You knew Minghao understood what Tou Ma had implied. Now that the emperor was dead, Minghao was automatically in charge. It was time for him to fulfill his prophecy and become the legend he was destined to be. Except that Tou Ma hadn’t said it like that exactly. She’d left the decision up to him. Tonight lies in your hands. Somehow, you felt like the head servant understood the pressure that weighed on the prince. She’d left the course of action open so that, should he choose to do so, Minghao could hide away with the rest of the castle’s residents. Should he choose to do so, he could surrender to Yientan. It was up to Minghao to decide his fate, not some legend assigned at birth.

Finally, Minghao looked up at Tou Ma.

“My mother,” he said, “is she safe?”

“Of course, my prince,” Tou Ma replied at once, “she was my first priority. I sent her through the royal passage behind the west room tapestry before bringing others to safety. She must have reached the safe house by now.”

Minghao nodded. “Thank you.” He sat there, thinking for a few more seconds before he stood up.

“I’m going out there. Everyone else stay here.” His voice was monotone, matter-of-fact. “I have to speak to the emperor of Yientan and put a stop to this.”

No one spoke as he turned to leave the room. Even you were too shocked to speak. It was only after he’d left the room that you found the strength to move.

“Silly girl,” Tou Ma said, her voice sharp once more as she grabbed hold of your wrist, “this is the last time I tell you to stay away from him.”

You looked the head servant dead in the eye.

“Then this will be the last time I defy you,” you answered, breaking free from her grasp and running out of the room.

You caught up with Minghao halfway up the stairs. You tugged at his sleeve and called his name, softly, inquiringly. He looked back at you, looking apologetic.

“I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you,” he said quietly, “you’re already hurt.” His eyes went to your cheek, where the sting of the arrow still lingered.

You sighed. “And I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.” You took his hand. “Hao, please,” you went on, “whatever happens, let’s do it together.”

Slowly, a smile formed on the new emperor’s lips. It failed to erase the pain in his reddened eyes but rather coated them in a temporary haze. His fingers tightened around yours and he whispered, “okay.”

*

“Where are we going?” you asked as you tiptoed through the castle, slipping from shadow to shadow.

“I know where he is,” Minghao replied.

You knew he was talking about the emperor of Yientan. You had no idea what he looked like but you’d overheard plenty of conversations about him during your time in the castle. He was a fierce ruler and a strong man of combat.

“Wait, you’re not going to fight him, are you?”

“No,” he replied, “I’m going to talk to him.”

The throne room looked smaller than usual. A pillar had fallen, dust and debris littered the usually shiny hardwood and on the golden throne sat, not Xu Yilan, but a younger-looking man. He was broad-shouldered and his dark hair fell in a single braid down to his waist. His black and silver armor was still spotless aside from the couple droplets of red that had splashed onto his chest. You almost couldn’t believe he was an emperor and not a war general. Xu Yilan had surely never fought like this. Judging by the tenacity in his eyes, he was enjoying this. Upon noticing Minghao he raised himself from the throne, eyes narrowing.

“Emperor Wu,” Minghao spoke up as he walked to the center of the room.

You decided to stay in the shadows for now. It was better for the Yientan leader not to know a second person was in the room.

“My father, Xu Yilan, is dead by your men’s hands.”

You had no idea how Minghao was keeping his emotions at bay but it was clearly a good thing. The man on the platform drew back, his eyes going wide.

“You,” he said in a gravely voice, “you are Xu Minghao?” He spoke loud and clear but was unable to hide his uneasiness. It was in the way he stood, overly square, and in the stark way his eyes stared ahead.

“I am,” Minghao said, “and I want you to listen to me for a moment.”

Silence. This was good. 

“I do not want to fight you,” he went on, “I just want to talk. I want to restore the balance between Namin and Yientan.” He took a deep breath. “I want Yientan to give us back the highlands.”

A low yet booming laughter filled the empty throne room.

“You expect us to just give you back the highlands?” the emperor scoffed, “and what will Yientan receive in return?”

You watched Minghao as a silence trickled into the air. He was completely still, his mind probably racing like a warhorse.

“In return,” he said at last, his voice deep yet clear, “Yientan will be spared the dragon’s wrath.”

You could see the fear spring into the emperor’s eyes.

“You lie, young man,” he said, though it was obvious Minghao’s words had derailed him a bit. Slowly, the man unsheathed a long sword and pointed it at Minghao.

“There is no dragon,” he spat, starting to walk down the platform, “where is your dragon now, huh? Did it come when our people charged your gates? No, it did not.”

Minghao’s chest heaved but he stood his ground. You couldn’t understand how he stayed so calm. He had nothing to defend himself with.

“Did it come when your father was struck down by one of my men?” emperor Wu continued as he approached, “it did not.”

This was all wrong, you thought, panic taking over you.

“Up on the roof of this broken palace, a golden dragon stands, yes,” the emperor said, a wicked smile spreading onto his lips. He was getting too close.

“It is nothing but a symbol of wealth, a meaningless decoration!”

Minghao stood as a statue, defiant.

“It could not save your father, nor your people,” he grinned, “and it surely won’t save you.”

“Stop!” you screamed, breaking away from your hiding spot. Both men turned their heads in surprise, a moment you took to jump in between them, arms out, shielding Minghao from his attacker.

“Don’t hurt him, please!” you cried. You knew you were making foolish decisions but there wasn’t a single cell in your body capable of doing anything else in that moment.

Pain shot through your arm as general Wu grabbed hold of you.

“No!” Minghao yelled, immediately jumping for the general’s second arm in an attempt to tear the sword from his grasp. Your head spun as you were tugged around, the three of you in an awkward tangle until you heard a gasp that could only be Minghao’s. You watched him fall to the floor, clutching his side, where the fabric of his shirt started to color red.

You wanted to scream but before any sound had the chance to leave your lips, the whole room began to shake.

Emperor Wu backed towards the wall, dragging you with him and that’s when you heard it. An ear-piercing cry coming from somewhere up above. The ceiling cracked and gave away right where Minghao crouched. You cried out his name in a desperate attempt to save him when you realized the falling debris wasn’t crushing him. Instead, it turned to dust mid-fall, scattering over the floor like sand on a windy day.

Emperor Wu gave a startled shriek behind you. A massive creature burst through the broken ceiling with another deafening cry. It looked like a giant, glimmering snake with horns. Its fanged mouth was the size of two grown men and its golden scales reflected the devastation in the room. It curled itself around Minhao, who was still on hands and knees on the floor, obscuring him from view. “It— it’s— it can’t be!” the man behind you stuttered, shivering all over. You took the opportunity to yank yourself from his grasp.

The dragon let out a large huff and steam released from its dinner-plate-sized nostrils. You couldn’t help but feel a trickle of fear pulse through you as you approached the beast. But you had to trust.

The dragon’s body uncurled once more, revealing Minghao. He was standing; even more, he looked revitalized. A determent look had taken over his face. He stepped in front of the dragon and addressed the cowering emperor.

“As I said before,” he said, his voice strong and demanding now, “I don’t want to fight. I don’t want this war. Yientan and Namin can live in peace. Even better, we can make each other stronger.” He glanced at you and his eyes filled with warmth. “I know we are different but Namin will no longer fear those differences. It is by cooperating that we will learn and grow—”

The emperor scoffed. “And to achieve this peace of yours,” he grumbled, “I assume you want the highlands back?”

“They belong to Namin,” Minhao replied calmly.

“And what’s next?” emperor Wu went on, his pitch rising, “you’ll invade us with your big dragon protector and we’ll have to give up everything?!”

“No.” Minghao shook his head. “Namin doesn’t need any more. Just the highlands and harmony with Yientan. If you promise me these things, emperor Wu, this dragon will never be used for violence. It too can be a symbol of peace.”

The emperor of Yientan stood there, fighting a fight within himself. All you could do was wait. Minghao didn’t look scared anymore though. The dragon had taken his fear. The cold mask had vanished as well, leaving his eyes exactly the way you remembered them from years ago; kind, curious, inviting. Years of pressure had fallen off of his shoulders, allowing him to stand up straight and confident.

His gaze went to you for a moment and he reached out his hand.

Heart swelling with joy, you took it, feeling more than ever before, like you belonged.

Emperor Wu observed all of this with pain in his eyes. You still had no idea what the man was thinking but you felt safer now, so close to Minghao.

“Alright,” he said finally, starting to walk towards you, “you win, little emperor.” He shook his head in defeat. “You’ve still got a lot to learn about ruling and, mark my words, you will regret the things you’ve said today— all this talk about peace and harmony—” he stopped just a couple feet away from Minghao, “but at least for now, Yientan will bow to Namin.” He bent over into a ninety degree bow and Minghao let show just the tiniest smile. He was proud— and he should have been. You squeezed into his hand and felt him squeeze back when, all of a sudden, a lot of things happened.

Emperor Wu raised himself, drawing from a loop in his belt a tiny dagger and driving it into Minghao’s chest. At the same time, the dragon behind you let out a magnificent roar as it charged at Yientan’s emperor, knocking the breath right out of his lungs. All this time, you stood, frozen to the spot in complete and utter shock.

When you felt Minhao’s hand slip from yours, you cried out his name. You caught him as he staggered and the two of you landed with a soft thud on the floor. Panicked, your hands dove to his chest, looking for the stab wound as tears began to stream down your cheeks.

“Hey,” you heard someone say softly, vaguely but you didn’t have time now. You had to stop the bleeding.

Something took hold of your chin, lifting it. It was Minghao. He was smiling the sweetest smile and you didn’t understand.

“I’m okay,” he said, pulling aside his robes, revealing nothing but a light cut along his ribcage.

“Hao,” you sniffled as his thumb came to wipe away some of your tears.

“I’m okay,” he said again, nodding softly.

And so all the adrenaline fled your body. Without a second thought, you flung your arms around his neck and hugged him close. It was a hug such as you’d shared when you were children; one made of pure happiness. His arms wrapped around you, holding you close. You were still crying, sort of, but you were sure it was the good kind of crying.

A gentle hand landed on top of your head, patting it in a soothing manner. You took it all in, the feel of him, his scent, the way his heart beat against yours.

“Everything is gonna be alright now, right?” you mumbled into his chest.

You felt him sigh.

“I think so.”

*

The following days were some of the strangest of your entire life.

The emperor of Yientan wasn’t dead. The dragon had hit him pretty bad but it had ultimately left the decision up to Minghao. Minghao, who of course decided to have the foreign emperor nursed back to health by Namin’s finest doctors. He still believed that peace between the two lands was possible.

You and Minghao, along with all remaining castle staff, had temporarily moved into the castle gardens. Most of the garden staff huts had apparently been spared from the fight. It wasn’t spacious by any means, but it was enough for the time being.

Not that you didn’t have any other options.

News of the attack and especially the return of the dragon had spread like wildfire through the cities and towns of Namin. Wealthy traders and investors offered their own residences in honor of the new legendary emperor but Minghao had turned them all down. He said he wanted to help rebuild the castle.

“Besides, I don’t know if I’m ready to face them yet.” Minghao’s face was contemplative as you two sat overlooking the rose garden from a hilltop.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

He leaned back onto his hands. “I don’t know,” he said, “I’m not ready to be their legend, truly this time. How am I supposed to— after my father.” He shook his head. “I’m no better than him. He was just a man and so am I.” 

Up in the sky, the golden dragon trailed patterns in the afternoon clouds. It had fluttered around the gardens all day; a beacon of hope.

“I know I have a job to do but—” he said finally, “I still can’t help but feel like I’m losing something precious.”

You nodded, leaning your head onto his shoulder. “Things will be more complicated,” you admitted. It was true. You didn’t want to sugarcoat that for him. However, you weren’t worried.

“But you won’t be doing any of it alone.”

You could feel him start to smile as his arm slid around your shoulder.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Your majesty,” a tense voice said.

It was Tou Ma. You were surprised to find you were happy to see her.

“We have received word from your mother. She will be coming home in a few days. The Zhong family meanwhile have arrived home this morning. They are well.”

Minghao nodded, his face stony but a lot going on behind his eyes.

“Should I send word back?”

“No,” Minghao was quick to answer but then he caught himself, “I think I’ll write Zhong Mei and her parents a letter myself. They deserve that.” He was frowning to himself now. “And tell my mother I’m sorry— and can’t wait for her arrival.”

“I will,” Tou Ma said solemnly, her eyes trailing off. She was searching for words.

“What is it?” Minghao questioned.

Tou Ma pursed her lips.

“He is awake.”

*

You followed Minghao to one of the larger huts in the garden, where emperor Wu was being treated. The room was bare, save for a bed and a night stand upon which stood a bowl of water and a clean cloth. A middle-aged lady in simple blue robes stood by his bed. The moment she noticed Minghao, she fell into a deep bow.

“That’s alright,” Minghao said, taking her hands as she rose, “thank you for your amazing work.”

The woman went red in the face but smiled brightly back at him.

The emperor of Yientan still suffered a few bruises, one below his left eye. You couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy around him so you watched Minghao approach from a distance.

“How are you feeling?” he asked the man in the bed.

Emperor Wu let out a heavy sigh as his eyes landed on Minghao.

“I’ve been better,” he said.

There was a silence you weren’t sure of the meaning of. Minghao seemed to be waiting.

“I’ve sat here for a while now, you know,” he went on, “been awake since sometime last night— in and out of it most likely— but I’ve been thinking.”

The man in the bed looked nothing like he had during the battle. He’d been full of fire then. Now, he had a depleted look about him.

“Do you know what I was thinking?”

Minghao shook his head softly.

To your surprise, the emperor of Yientan let out a chuckle. Maybe he really had suffered brain damage after all.

“I was thinking, why am I in this comfortable bed?” he snickered lowly, “I thought I might have died. Thought it might be the afterlife. But then I was informed of your decision to let me live. To let me go.” His face went sad suddenly, brows furrowed. He looked almost silly.

“I realized I admire you, your majesty. You chose to spare the life of the man who invaded your land and took it for his own, the man responsible for your father’s death, the man that might have been responsible for your own death—” he let out another chuckle. “I thought you must be either mad or genius— I, um— I’m still not truly certain which one it is but I can say one thing for sure: you’ve got more bravery in that little body of yours than I’ve seen in any ruler of my lifetime. And I have no choice but to respect that.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Your hands were anxiously clutched in front of your chest.

“Thank you, your majesty,” Minghao said, his shoulders relaxing a bit.

Emperor Wu raised himself in the bed, took the cloth from the nightstand and wiped his face with it. When his face was revealed once more, he was smiling.

“Alright,” he said, looking up at Minghao, “let’s get this over with. Let’s talk.”

*

This is how Namin was restored. The highlands were returned and multiple treaties were formed between Namin and Yientan, promising peace and collaboration for all time to come.

Minghao hugged his mother close a few nights later, and a ceremony was held for the death of Xu Yilan. It was a sombre meeting in a nearby temple, the only other attendees aside from direct family the thousands of fireflies that lit up the air.

Then, finally, it was time to go public with everything that had happened. The coming of the legend emperor had to be celebrated and the people of Namin were not going to let that opportunity go to waste. Banners were raised, fireworks set off, as a magnificent parade made its way through the capital.

Throughout all this, you found yourself completely overwhelmed, not only because so much was happening at once, but also because Minghao wanted you to be a part of it all.

“Are you alright?” Minghao whispered into your ear.

You hardly knew how to respond to that. You were sitting in a luxurious golden carriage, wearing the most beautiful silk you’d ever laid eyes on. Layers of pale pinks and greens, adorned with gold thread fell from your shoulders. Your hair had been elegantly put together by Tou Ma herself that morning, with flowers and ribbons she’d handpicked for you. If all that wasn’t enough to make your heart do cartwheels, Minghao, the new emperor of Namin sat beside you, holding your hand while he waved at the people cheering. And there were a lot of people around you. It seemed as if all of Namin had come out to watch the procession. You weren’t as confident as Minghao, darting your hand up occasionally to wave at the public, only to change your mind the next second and put it back down.

“I’m terrified,” you replied, “ecstatic and overjoyed and terrified.”

“That sounds about right,” he said, grinning, “but don’t worry, we’ll be there soon.”

Surely enough, the procession halted in the main square of the capital. A tall platform had been put up in the center of it. As you’d expected, your carriage opened its doors right beside it. It was time for Minghao to give his speech. With one last smile in your direction he left for the platform. You watched him breath in and out, visibly shaking the nerves out of his body before he began.

“People of Namin,” he spoke loud and clear, “in the last week, a lot of things have happened and rumors have run rampant. I believe you all deserve to know exactly what has happened at the castle and what this means for the future of Namin.”

You looked in complete awe and adoration, as Minghao explained the events of the past weeks and even before that; the protests, the arrival of the Zhong family and their plans, the attack, death of Xu Yilan and finally, the legend of the dragon.

“It is true,” Minghao said, “the dragon lives once more.”

Just then, a bright glimmer fell all over the square and the people squinted upwards to see the golden dragon fly overhead.

“It will protect Namin for as long as I live and hopefully longer.”

The crowd erupted in jubilant cheers. Minghao took this opportunity to look back at you. You were suddenly highly aware of the ridiculously wide grin that had been plastered on your face ever since he’d begun his speech. He returned it gladly and, to your surprise, beckoned you to join him onto the platform.

Your eyes went the size of daisies as you vigorously shook your head at him. He only smiled kindly at you and turned back around as the commotion had died down mostly.

“My dear people, it has been a glorious day!” he yelled  “but I have one more announcement to make.”

This turned the whole crowd silent.

“Throughout the challenges of the past week I have had to be strong. In order for the dragon to arise, I’ve had to be strong. I’m the true leader, I’m Namin’s hope, I am a legend come to life— I’ve been hearing these types of statements all around and I would like to say that, while your praise is appreciated, I fear I’m not entirely deserving—”

“There’s a reason I’ve been able to be strong. There’s a reason I’ve been able to keep my head on the right track, there’s a reason I feel like I can be a worthy leader to you all and it is a reason entirely outside of myself.”

He turned back around to face you. Your face went hot when you realized he was actually coming down to fetch you. He took your hand, gave you the most loving smile and pulled you up.

Everything looked simultaneously tiny and overwhelming from up on the platform. Luckily you had Minghao holding onto your hand or you for sure would’ve fainted.

“I can be the leader I am because of this woman,” he said, “she has been the one thing that’s grounded me in all of this and if it hadn’t been for her, I’m not sure I’d be standing here making this speech today.”

Your heart was pounding out of control and you felt lightheaded. You were grateful when Minghao’s arm slid around your waist and steadied you.

“On this special day, we celebrate the resilience and rebirth of Namin,” Minghao stated confidently, “but I would also like to use this day to profess my undying love for the girl standing beside me.”

A sea of murmurs welled up from the crowd. Minghao came to face you again and suddenly, he looked less like an emperor and more like the boy you’d always known.

“I’ve always loved you,” he said quietly, “it’s always been you.” His hand came to hold your face gently. “I know the life I lead from now on will be full of challenges and responsibilities, it will be a life in the spotlight, maybe—” he sighed, “maybe nothing like the life you’d imagined for yourself but—” he was really searching for words now, his eyes darting in all directions until they finally landed back on yours.

“If you’ll have me, I would love for you to share that life with me.”

It was as if a collection of fireworks set off inside of you, shooting from the top of your head all the way down to your toes, setting you aflame. It was an overload of feelings. You didn’t even notice the tear trickling down your cheek until Minghao wiped it away.

“So, will you?” he asked, looking like he might collapse from nerves as well now.

The smile burst free from its own accord as the reality of the situation finally sank in.

“Yes, of course!” you let out and your arms flung themselves around Minghao’s neck.

Now the people of Namin were really cheering, their noise like drums in your head as you embraced Minghao. Even when you broke apart the cheering didn’t stop; it only grew wilder as Minghao pressed his lips to yours. 

In all your life you’d never thought this would be yours. Even as a child you’d known that Minghao, your playmate wasn’t to be wanted. He was different, above others, untouchable, and for years you’d struggled to come to terms with that grim fact. And yet here he was, in front of you and all of Namin, telling you he loved you. It was the beginning of a new era for Namin and it seemed that its residents were ready for change. And you were more than certain Minghao was the right person to lead the people with justice and, above all, love.

♥

[lettrespromises]

> LettresPromises informs you : You have one notification.

> Letter object : the heart’s warmth and the body’s flames.

> Todoroki Shouto and Bakugou Katsuki sent you a letter, would you like to read it?

@bruised-cherry​ sent a letter : ❝Hiya, Nikki! Can I request a one-shot(if you're down) where Todoroki and Bakugou's(poly relationship) s/o got into a little argument with each other and now their s/o is rejecting them and ignoring them. Since it's summer, TodoBaku turned off the air conditioning, AC, etc, knowing their s/o would need them soon. And just, kinky, dirty ass s m U t :) (and lana spelled backwards if you're down with that, if not that's cool). Sorry I'm a kinky hoe 👉😅👈❞

Author’s letter :

❝ dear bruised-cherry,

first and foremost, i would like to apologize for taking so long to write your promised letter! nonetheless, i had a lot of fun writing it, hopefully it will reach your expectations!! it’s 4:05am as i am writing this and my brain is unable to write proper words i’m sorry—

sealed with a kiss,

nikki.❞

Genre : Pure smut, angst if you squint.

Warnings : Cursing, sex, vaginal sex, blow-job, cunnilingus, anal sex, daddy kink. (Please consider that the characters are aged up.)

Word count : 5.8K.

This day seemed to counterbalance the already established rules of time and space, you were secretly convinced that minutes were hours and each time you would lay your eyes upon any item with the sole purpose of indicating the current hour, you felt as if time had stopped. It was a long, long day. Truthfully, you wished you could have had the opportunity to meet someone whose quirk was time control to ask them to skip the remaining hours of the day.

The root of the problem was deeply imbedded with the increasing attacks committed by the villains in town, you were on a mission with both Bakugou and Todoroki- a clear lack of communication and coordination signed a burning defeat for the three of you. A mission built and perfected during several months had just blown into pieces, your efforts, tears, blood and energy were the combustibles to the pain fueled by this defeat. Each one of you attempted to exude this loss in your own way while making your way back home. Todoroki, sat on the passenger seat, found the cure to his own inner built-up anger by digging his pearly whites into the flesh of his thumb while observing the passing scenery before his eyes. Bakugou, unexpectedly, made a martyr of the steering wheel by squeezing the non-existent life out of it, causing his fingers to turn white in the process. You, on the other one hand, kept on reminiscing the earlier events of today, your mind roaming over and over again to find what went wrong, you weren’t exactly angry : disappointed in yourself was a more precise way to describe the matter.

The silence was deafening, almost agonizing. Truthfully, silence was even more intimidating than noise- a noisy ride would have included the repertoire of Bakugou’s insults flowing freely from his mouth, it was expected. But silence, on Bakugou’s end, echoed to a level of anger rarely ever reached, metaphorically speaking, Katsuki was a living and breathing ticking bomb at this very moment.

The sound of the car door smashing broke the silence as you arrived home, Bakugou was already inside, his hands shoved in his pockets as expected. You freed a sigh you ignored you were holding from your lips, an early sign that you knew there was little to no seconds left on the ticking bomb. Todoroki sent an apologetic glance in your way, you knew he didn’t mean no harm, if anything, it was a silent sign to encourage you before facing the aftermath caused by the explosion of the bomb.

Flower vases left shattered on the floor, a door handle scarred by the scorching hot imprints of Bakugou’s unforgiving hold and a continuous flow of insults as background noise- those were the said aftermath of the explosion. Bakugou’s body language radiated off pure anger, like you or Todoroki had barely seen before, his rage was exuding from the pores of his palms through a dangerous marriage of small explosions and smoke. He was roaming back and forth in the living room, his stare was focused on the explosions emanating from his hands as a way to convince himself that the more explosions would be set free, the less he would feel angry.

« Fuck, fuck, fuck… Goddamnit, fuck! What the fuck went wrong, hah?! We planned this shit entirely, from start to fucking finish. What the fuck went wrong?! You tell me instead of staring at me, do fucking something for once! » The words echoed and morphed into a roar sent directly your way, anger lacing his every word.

« Bakugou, don’t say things you don’t mean. » Todoroki stated, the pseudo comfort embedded in his voice radically clashed with the heat of Bakugou’s words.

« Don’t say shit I don’t mean? Who the fuck are you to tell others what to do when you couldn’t even do shit when we were facing those bastards?! You didn’t do shit, you fucking left us on our own and arrived at the very last second. So tell me, give me one good fucking reason as to why I should take shit from you! Fucking say it to my face, because I’m dying to know what’s your excuse. » The sounds of Bakugou’s explosions slowly adopted the structure of a crescendo, but Todoroki remained unfazed, his facial expression didn’t betray his pseudo serenity. « I was evacuating the civilians, you knew that, I don’t understand why you act so confused. We prepared this plan together, the three of us, you knew what my role was. »

You were stuck in the middle of a battlefield, torn between two sides but the tragic twist of this scene was that you couldn’t find the strength to defend one of them. You needed to remain objective and impartial, something obviously easier said than done. Your eyes darted from one figure to another each time you heard the sound of either Todoroki or Bakugou’s words, truthfully, you felt paralyzed under the lack of options in this crucial situation- on one hand, Katsuki was nothing short of acerbic when anger consumed him, on the other one hand, Shouto’s calm attitude hid a dangerous amount of anger building inside of him ready to explode if Bakugou’s venom stung too hard to Todoroki’s liking.

« Oh yeah, yeah. You were on you own, hah? Evacuating civilians and shit, am I supposed to feel fucking sorry for you when Y/N were busting our fucking asses out there to take down those bastards? You’re trying to play it solo like your old man? You know what, the more I think about it, the more you start to act like him-… »

« Katsuki! That’s enough, shut up! »

It was your turn to let anger lace your words in such a way that they developed their own toxins, purposefully made to sting Bakugou hard enough to cut his rambling. Endeavor was a touchy topic to Shouto, and as soon as Katsuki pronounced the words ‘old man’, a hint of flames appeared on Todoroki’s collarbone- it was only a matter of second before an inferno invaded the living room.

« You never know when to stop, do you? Do you have any idea of how ridiculous this is? You, Bakugou, you should know out of all people that his father his a sensitive topic, and yet you let your anger get the best of you every damn time. Todoroki, were you really ready to blast your flames at him? Aren’t the both of your grown men, or am I mistaken? How disappointing, how fucking disappointing. » You dropped every last ounce of energy in your tirade, every last bit of emotion in the process too. You felt so numb, deprived from your own vigor.

Both Todoroki and Bakugou’s eyes fell on you as soon as your roaring words broke their mutual verbal assaults, their mouths were set agape- they did have words on the tip of their tongue, but they couldn’t find the strength to give life to them. There it was again, the deafening and agonizing silence.

You couldn’t bare standing in the same vicinity as them, disappointment clouded your vision and the more you looked at them, the more your vision became foggy- but it still remained unclear as to whether it was due to the disappointment or the tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. Without wasting yet another second, you went upstairs and locked yourself in your room, giving yourself some privacy to wipe away your tears.

Downstairs, the silence was still suffocating both Bakugou and Todoroki, their stare were still laying upon the spot where you used to be just a few seconds earlier, they just hadn’t processed your sudden disappearance. They blinked once, then twice, and a third time to make sure they weren’t dreaming and once they were convinced it was very much real, they looked at each other and sighed as if they were, too, deprived of their own energy.

« Bak-… Katsuki, it was my mistake to threaten you with my flames, I apologize. » Todoroki’s tone was soft in comparison to his last statement, a sense of compassion replaced the anger laced in his words.

« I shouldn’t have talked about your shitty dad. » A sentence, which, in Bakugou’s vocabulary echoed to an apology, but with the cruel exception of the forbidden word which begins with an ’s’ and ends with ‘-orry’.

« I assume Y/N is not going to talk to us for a while, and, don’t take it personally but her presence is very much needed. » Bakugou frowned as Todoroki’s words connected to his eardrums, needless to say, he knew he was right but didn’t care enough to admit it and grant him this silent victory.

« I might have an idea, half-and-half, use your shitty quirk to lower the temperature of the house, you know how much she fucking hates cold temperatures. That’s gonna make her move her ass out of the bedroom. » Todoroki only quirked his eyebrows in response while Bakugou was adorning his most victorious grin, he knew this plan meant an automatic win- both of them could handle cold temperatures thanks to their quirks, you on the other one hand, were more fond of warmer temperatures.

Todoroki sighed, perhaps already regretting his choice to follow Bakugou’s antics, but if it meant that he had to play dirty to get you, he was ready to deem himself as the dirtier player in the game. Soon enough, a frigid fog invaded mercilessly the first floor, and your bedroom was the first victim of the unforgiving coldness. Little did you know, this was the beginning of a series of crushing defeats on your end : seeking warmth underneath your blankets? Didn’t work. Blow air on your hands? A total fail. Looking through your boyfriends’ closets to find one of their thick hoodies and wear it? Not the solution you needed to cure the problem.

You were running out of solutions, and that’s when your unconsciousness crept in and murmured suave temptations to your ear : the welcoming warmth of Bakugou and Todoroki’s bodies, their arms wrapped around you like a human cocoon to protect you from the cold temperature. It sounded like a dream, and you had the means to make it real- but at what cost? You roamed around the room, not only to create body warmth by moving, but also to accelerate the train of your thoughts. What was more important? Freezing yourself to death with your pride as an inexistent shield from the cold, or embrace the agonizingly tempting warmth radiating from both of your boyfriends?

The answer to your rhetorical question manifested itself rather quickly- in the blink of an eye, you had already wrapped your hand around the doorknob and raced downstairs towards the personifications of your very own personal heaters under Shouto’s puzzled expression and, in contrast, Katsuki’s triumphing grin.

« Hah? Have you finally decided to show up, princess? » Anyone could have noticed the more-than-obvious obnoxious tone dripping from Bakugou’s words, he glanced over at Todoroki who grinned at him in response, silently thanking him.

« Just keep me warm. » You found a perfect spot right between Katsuki and Shouto on the couch, your knees were brought to your chest, your arms were encompassing your legs- if anything, you were pretty close to looking like a sphere, but you were ready to contort yourself in any position to gather some precious warmth. Eventually, you let out a silent sigh as soon as you felt their respective warmth hit the surface of your skin as a sign of satisfaction.

« I think you forgot the magic word, love. » Shouto teased, his warm index gracing the cold flesh on your shoulder, such a tease.

« Ugh, fine! Keep me warm, please. » You emphasized the pleading word, just enough to make them grin even wider in victory.

« ‘Wasn’t so hard, was it, princess? » You couldn’t exactly tell if you hated or were absolutely enamored with the teasing tone of his voice, but once thing was certain- the grin plastered upon his face was a thing of beauty.

Bakugou, as expected of him, took the lead, or rather, sent a silent challenge in Todoroki’s way which dared him to take the upper hand of the situation. He wrapped his arms around your waist in a lion-like manner, ready to protect what’s his, with the help of his strength you were now sitting on his lap. The grip around your frame didn’t move one bit, not only did he want to provide you as much warmth as his quirk allowed, but he also wanted to maintain control. Your head was laying upon the surface of his shoulder, your face was facing Todoroki who admired you as if he had witnessed the renaissance of Venus under your traits.

« I will help you feel a bit more warm, alright, love? » You hummed in response to Todoroki’s one-sided interrogation.

Another source of warmth was more than welcome. Thus, Shouto wasted no time and placed his hand upon the surface of your cheek, daring to cross Bakugou’s self-claimed territory in the process without any ounce of shame. The amount of space between the two of you had dangerously reduced until totally disappearing which cleared Todoroki’s path on his way to show you just how much he could warm you up. His lids fluttered shut in anticipation, and there it was, the oh so fabulous source of warmth- he planted his lips on yours in perfect harmony. After all, a promise was a promise, correct? Regardless of how it’s executed, correct? That was exactly Shouto’s mindset as his tongue grazed your bottom lip to beg for access to the inside of your mouth, a wish quickly granted which allowed him to spread the warmth of his tongue inside your mouth as his pink muscle met yours which only announced the beginning of the dance of pleasure. Your actions corresponded to his, and his initiatives echoed to yours— soon enough, your tongues were melting in each other’s touch. As much as he wanted to keep this going forever, the way you grabbed his wrist was an indicator that you were starting to lack oxygen. Of course he ended the kiss, but not before he dug his teeth into your lower lip to which you responded with a semi silent whimper.

Bakugou observed the scene from the side with the same smirk gracing his facial features, he would be the worst liar on Earth if he were to say that seeing your mouths collide in harmony wasn’t the epitome of poetry in motion. But who was he to let Shouto get the best of you? Who was he to let Shouto make you whimper first? He craved, no, he needed to make you melt under his touch.

« Want us to make you feel hot, princess? Be careful what you wish for. » This sentence was his final warning before flipping you over on your back, offering him the best position to physically tale the upper hand under Shouto’s amused stare. You looked so pure and yet so sinful at once, a paradox which drove of them crazy as they imagined the most unholy deeds they were going to do to you. Katsuki’s index hooked the fabric of your hoodie (more like his, but it’s just a slight detail which turnt him on even more) before to pull it over your head.

Oh, and what a gorgeous sight to behold— your naked upper body, in all its glory, a body worthy of the most descriptive pages of a novel. He couldn’t help but snicker at the ethereal scenery before his eyes, he knew he was going to devour you and make you his, no matter what.

« Don’t give me those eyes, woman, I fucking told you I was gonna make you feel real hot. You won’t need this shitty hoodie to keep you warm. »

The assault was given once his pearly whites dug into the soft flesh of your neck, reflex kicked, you titled your head to the side to give him more room to play with. It was a succession of biting, licking, biting again until your skin adopted a purplish tone which echoed to a mark of both domination and belonging. Of course, you belonged to him… And Todoroki. Once he was satisfied with his artwork, he licked the abused flesh one last time before smirking to himself as a sign of victory.

You couldn’t expect Todoroki to be left out of the party, after all, you did belong to him too. He pushed Bakugou to the side just enough to bask in the glory of your half-naked form. The gleam in his eyes reflected nothing but pure adoration, he was torn between the will to worship each inch of your body and the tempting option to make your legs weak until you can’t form proper words anymore. Oh, well, both were bound to happen.

« Oi! If you wanna touch her, don’t fucking push me! » Bakugou’s rambling was cut short as soon as Todoroki’s lips crashed on his, the blonde eye’s widened in surprise but he eventually allowed himself to crave to the passion.

« I don’t need your permission to touch what’s mine. » Todoroki whispered against the flesh of your breasts, emphasizing the very last word strategically.

The sight of your hardened nipples caused him to lick his bottom lip in anticipation, just a way to warm up his lips before devouring your flesh. Todoroki wasted no time and took this opportunity to let his tongue grace your left bud, the motions were repetitive and hypnotizing— from circular motions right around your nipple, from vertical licks to sucking motions, each deed was designed for your own pleasure while your whimpers falling free from your lips and the hand stuck at the root of his hair encouraged his actions. Your whimpers were cut short once Bakugou’s lips found yours and dragged you in a tongue-led kiss, and to no one’s surprise, you followed his already established rhythm, but goodness, it was deliciously intoxicating, letting you crave for more. And somehow, the sound of your hushed whimpers created an even more attractive melody.

Now, it was Todoroki’s turn to take advantage of the vacant place left by Bakugou who was now bent on your side which meant that your whole body to discover for the umpteenth time. A trail of kisses left from the valley of your breasts to your lower belly indicated which dangerous way Shouto was bound to take. He took a glance at the liplock share with Katsuki who offered you no rest no matter if you craved for oxygen or not, the same amused grin still plastered upon his facial features, and augmented the temperature just a bit more.

His finger drew an invisible line along the edge of your underwear, a pre-meditated deed which only announced in advance what he was bound to do, he was just one step closer to make your legs crumble under his touch. In a swift motion, fueled by his own personal hunger to satisfy his fantasies, Todoroki got rid of your pants and he could already discern the wet patch adorning the cotton surface of your underwear, what a sight to see. A new trail of kiss was left upon your skin by Shouto, this time, he focused on the inside of your thighs and followed a vertical pattern until reaching the climax of his journey : your already dripping heat.

« Are you already this wet for us, love? How kind of you. » The amused tone which embedded his voice hid a hidden sinful tone, such a contrast, but only Bakugou and you could catch the double-tone.

Bakugou, on the other one hand, mimicked Todoroki’s earlier antics (only to outdo him, his own ego was his sole motivation) and made a victim of your breasts. One lovebite on your neck wasn’t enough, he craved to make you his even more, on every inch of your body. This thought was the reason behind his will to bite the generous flesh of your left breast, which clearly isn’t abused enough to his liking. And so it began once more— biting, licking, biting once more just hard enough to make you whimper in response, suck on your flesh until it becomes purple and has his name written all over it. From the love bite, Katsuki kissed his way until your nipple, the motions of his mouth were strategically chosen to make pure sounds of pleasure fall free from mouth mouth, while his thumb and index were twisting your nipple while following the circular motions of his tongue. The harsh grasp you held onto his blonde hair was only one of the first hints that you were on your way to reach a state of pure bliss, the moans echoing in his head were his favorite hint though.

The sensation of a sharp lick across the fabric of your underwear awakened a new whimper on your end, this time, it was higher which only echoed to a higher level of pleasure. Todoroki’s lips curved into a grin at the sound of it, what a marvel to hear. The fabric which separated your core from Shouto’s lips was seen as a taunt to the latter, but fret not, said taunt was quickly taken care of as soon as he got rid of your underwear, throwing them who-knows-where in the room.

And so the temperature augmented yet again— an experimental lick caused you to bite your lower lip to refrain any moan to escape from your mouth as you closed your eyes in anticipation for pure bliss. Your reaction was the best indicator to Shouto who had found yet another motivation to make you come undone— getting to hear your agonizingly breathtaking whimpers and moans fall in cascade from your lips. Your core was wet, much to Todoroki’s delight, and he could almost hear you calling his name, begging him to eat you as if you were his last dinner on Earth.

His mouth married the shape of your core, his tongue danced beautifully against your folds as if your core had been specifically created to welcome the wonders of his mouth. The licks left by his pink muscle were executed differently in several ways— vertical licks, circular shapes, he based his actions on the sound of your shameless moans and whimpers to predict his next move.

« Shouto, S-Shouto! » Your first begging, which didn’t go unnoticed to both of the protagonists of your very own pleasure.

« So eager, aren’t you, love? » He kissed these words into your skin, words embedded with adoration and love in the process.

Well, there was someone whose name hadn’t been begged, and truth be told, it was getting on his nerves. How dare Shouto have the honor of being begged and not him? Oh, well, he was about to change that right away.

« Open wide, princess, I’ll give you something to fucking beg about. » The same usual smirk accompanied his words, he already knew what was bound to happen, and the knew what effect it would leave on you.

By the time you were busy with Shouto, Bakugou had already taken care of his own clothing by… taking everything off. Isn’t it easier that way? His genetically given large hand stroked tentatively his length, just enough to cause a layer of pre-cum to cover his tip, once he was satisfied with the result, he wasted no time to shove his entire member in your mouth in a swift motion. The warmth of your lips was the most delicate welcome he could’ve asked for, regardless if you were to choke or not, he’d find a way to make you beg his name until it becomes the only thing you’re able to say. Your throat grazed the sensitive tip of his grit, earning you a hushed grunt as a reaction which was a rarity coming from Bakugou. Both of his hands held a harsh grip on your hair, and he used said grip as a level of pressure to thrust himself into your mouth under the mesmerizing sounds of your choked whimpers. It was a scenery of beauty, he was the sole holder of all your attention— you were looking at him through your lashes with pleading eyes, silently begging him to keep going until you were to choke on his member. A silent sign he didn’t miss, he knew you like the back of his hand, after all.

Eventually, Shouto complied to your begs, you wanted more? Oh, you were bound to get more, more precisely, you were bound to have exactly what you deserved. Todoroki and tease were very close to being synonymous, hence why he purposefully used the pad of his thumb to create circulate motions on your sweet bundle of nerves which was the key to make you come undone, and, of course, two of his fingers which had already found a shelter inside your folds while pumping in and out, over and over again, until bringing you to the brim of ecstasy.

Under this new pressure, the need to express your pleasure through moans was almost impossible given the fact that each sound coming out of your mouth was rendered hushed by Bakugou’s length. Your wrapped your hand around his phallus to not only catch some cruelly needed oxygen but also set free all the sounds of pleasure trapped inside you, as soon as your mouth was set free, a pure sound of bliss fell free from your lips. A sound so sinful and addicting at once that both Bakugou and Todoroki couldn’t help but repeat said sound in their head over and over again.

« Oi, princess, I didn’t fucking tell you to stop so keep sucking until I say otherwise, did you fucking get that? » It was a one-sided question, your answer wouldn’t matter anyway.

And there he went again, shoving his member inside your mouth as Bakugou began chasing his own pleasure— if he was careful enough, he could picture the shape of heaven when his lids fluttered shut. This time, his thrusts were harsher, clearly designed to attain his climax. But he wasn’t the only one who was close to reach the seventh sky— the addition of Shouto’s fingers pumping in and out, the oh so right pressure on your sweet of nerves and the precise licks left on your wet folds was nothing short of divine, that divine that it was going to make you reach your orgasm sooner than you thought.

Reflex kicked, your grip on Shouto’s hair became gradually tighter as you felt the knot in your stomach grow more and more until it became out of your control, you rolled your eyes back in ecstasy and the pearls of tears on the corner of your eyes were now rolling down the surface of your cheeks. Through choked sounds, you encouraged Shouto to keep going and going until you could touch heaven by the tip of your fingers. And then heaven came to you, the liberating sensation of floating on a cloud overwhelmed you as you reached your orgasm, manifesting the pure sounds of bliss through the hushed sounds caused by Bakugou’s intrusive length.

« You’re such a good girl, love, you came undone for us. Such a good girl… » The end of his sentence was whispered in marvel against your core, it was a sight he could never get bored of.

His tongue found once more its way to your folds, licking each and every drop of your juices to satisfy his own pleasure. Your taste was his favorite, it was addicting as hell, so addicting that before to swallow said juices, he would always make a mental note of how your cum feels on his tastebuds.

« Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, god-fucking-damnit! » Bakugou’s grunts followed the structure of a crescendo, he threw his head back in pure pleasure— he was so close, so fucking close, he wanted to reach the seventh sky as well.

Todoroki grabbed him by the nape of his neck, his fingers digging right in Katsuki’s flesh, and planted his lips still coated with your juices right upon his. Bakugou could taste your sweet nectar on Shouto’s lips, and perhaps it was the last thing necessary for him to come undone— your taste always had the ability to bring him over the edge, and once more, this time was no exception. Bakugou groaned against Shouto’s lips before breaking the contact between them to share a pure sound of ecstasy of his own and eventually, come undone right in your mouth. A string of the blonde’s cum dripped down from the corner of your mouth, and observing you use your tongue to collect the remaining cum on your chin made Bakugou if he wasn’t going to come undone twice in a row at the sight of this.

« Come on, love, we’re not done yet. » This was the final chapter of all of Shouto’s fantasies, a chapter which was finally bound to take form.

Todoroki snaked his arms around your form to place you right on his lap, once the position was comfortable for the both of you, he placed his length right against your twitching core which was already begging for him to fill you.

« Please, j-just fuck me already… Please… » Another auditive wonder— the sound of you begging was worthy of the most beautiful symphony.

« You asked so nicely, love, who am I to refuse? » A rhetorical question, as expected of Shouto when he led the teasing game.

Shouto filled you instantly, shoving his entire length inside you which caused the unexpected appearance of a moan which you could hardly suppress even by biting your lower lip. An initiative quickly ended by Bakugou’s intervention who tilted your head just enough so he could plant a rough kiss upon your lips in order to prevent you from hushing those sounds of pleasure any longer.

« Don’t be fucking shy, let us hear what you gotta’ say, baby girl. » You looked at Katsuki with pleading eyes, you knew that you were not going to be able to suppress or refrain any of your moans or whimpers, you knew you were bound to become a vocal mess.

Shouto’s hands held a strong grip on your waist, so strong that the tip of his fingers turnt white under the pressure. His rhythm was frantic from the beginning, using the combination of his hips bucking upwards and his arms wrapped around your middle to clash against his testicles. You had the best spot to hear up close and personal the ravishing sounds of bliss coming out of Shouto’s mouth like a broken record. Your arms were wrapped around his neck as a desperate cry for support as his hips were pounding deep inside you until reaching your cervix.

Behind you, Bakugou had already made sure to wet his fingers to prep you. Prep you for what exactly? Oh, well, we all know Bakugou doesn’t handle well being left alone, especially when Todoroki has the advantage of him. The tip of his fingers brushed against your rectum until two of them entered your second hole, he expected this reaction but your moans were ethereal, especially when he was the cause of them. His fingers pumped into your rectum just enough for you to get used to the stretch and to the knew (and double) sensation.

« Be a good fucking girl for daddy and let him fuck you from behind, yeah? » He studied your facial expression and the irregular pattern of your breaths to know whether or not you were fond of his new antics, to which you confirmed his doubts by whispering an almost inaudible « Y-Yes, daddy… »

Nonetheless, the elongated moan you let out in his favor once his fingers reached a bit deeper in your rectum was enough for him to get the clue and replace the feeling of his index and middle finger with the width of his length. A pure sound of pleasure with his name written all over it, if you were to ask Bakugou, he would tell you right away that this is what heaven felt like.

« I-I’m going to cum, I can’t-… » Shouto’s hot breath crashed against your equally as hot skin, it became impossible for him to suppress his grunts any longer.

Bakugou mirrored his pace which had suddenly quickened under the pressure erupting in his lower belly, he could already touch the clouds of the seventh sky, and you were the key to unlocking the divine skies of heaven.

« Fuck… Fuck, I’m close too. » Their grunts matched in unison under the melody of your repetitive moans caused by the double pressure.

With one last thrust from both protagonist, you felt two rushes of hot liquids invade your insides as a moan signed their orgasm. That was it, they came undone and touched heaven as they came inside of you, all the pent up pressure in their abdomen had been set free for your greatest pleasure. You rolled your head back on Katsuki’s shoulder, oxygen had become a rarity under the frantic thrusts of the two newfound victims of passion. Once your lungs felt full again, you released an elongated sigh which drained all of your strength in the process.

Bakugou pulled out first, causing you to whimper at the sudden sensation of vacuity replacing the ever so addictive sensation of being filled by the man who held the keys to your heart. As he pulled out, his arms snaked around your middle and he dragged you with him, hot breaths crashing against your blazing skin. Katsuki put your head over his chest while you mustered up the last bits of vigor you could invoke to find shelter in his comforting embrace.

As soon as Shouto evened his breathing pattern, he felt the urge to join you and Katsuki— laying by your side, his arms draped over your waist, he felt at peace with the two most important people in his life, the true definition of perfection to him. Silence came back again, but this time it was comforting, a silence which held all the fierceness of your feelings for one another. A few kisses were planted here and there on your skin as a silent way to show gratitude, but all three of you were absolutely drained because of passion.

« If you’re still feeling cold, I know a fucking way or two to fix this shitty problem, princess. »

[sweetestlamb]

The Greatest Show

Summary: Come on, get into it. 

Author's note: I haven’t been inspired to write for this fandom in a while because honestly the writers are doing amazing, everything I think of is pure filth because I am eagerly awaiting their next kiss. But episode 17 broke my brain with their squash the rumor scene, the growling and grunting that So-Bong was so unaffected by. These two need a tent, desperately. Enjoy my royal pervs, here is my offering. 

p.s. picture borrowed from @tomorrowsdrama- thank you for the screenshots of this amazing moment! 

He's doing what he must to survive, that's all. End of sentence. He takes no pleasure in slamming the King into the closest surface and rubbing their body against him like a cat in heat, not in the slightest. Rumors are weeds, you have to rip them out for flowers and crops to flourish. That's all they're doing, weeding the garden of Joseon so it can flourish for their future child. 

That's what he tells himself as they cross paths in the royal hall, the King is flagged by the entire royal court animatedly discussing something of seemingly vast importance if their volume suggests anything. As he takes a step forward, Court Lady Choi seizes their hand halting them in place.

"Your highness you just not approach the King when he is with the Royal court. It is not proper. We just simply bow as they walk by."

But he doesn't care about propriety or appearing decent and well-behaved in front of these corrupt old bags, they are simply larger weeds that need to be disposed of. Smirking at their potential outrage, he grins evilly letting that fuel him even more before pulling up their dress to run over to their Cheoljongie. He looks bored out of his mind so it can also be considered a good deed, he's such a giving wife.

"My King!" Her voice rings out as he calls to his husband, who immediately looks over at them warmth filling those expressive eyes. Without hesitation the King bounds over to them happily, his movement only slightly faster than his usual glide ever the diligent King.

"My Queen, I have missed you."

The members of the backstabbing clan look disgruntled at the King's sudden departure, grumbling and pointing at them as if they have committed the highest crime.

If they think this is inappropriate then they're in for a huge surprise.

Looking down demurely, he thinks of his younger days when he was a junior understudy for the school play his acting prowess would come in handy now.

"Not as much as I have missed you, my love." He whispers the word of affection, reaching up to caress the King's cheeks softly making sure to appear infatuated. He has to force that after all because he doesn't do that naturally, despite what the royal maids claim. They are just confused, So-yong has a soft face that appears adoring at time despite his true emotions. 

With a soft whimper he throws himself into the King's arm, feeling those strong arms encircle her small waist, lightning zips through their veins but he ignores her bodily reaction.

We're just acting, take the memo! He internally berates the other inhabitant of this hormonally charged body.

But when Cheoljong strokes their neck and easily lifts them off their feet, he gasps loudly clinging to him harder for balance and because her knees suddenly feel weak.

"Your majesty, we do not have time for such....improper dalliance. You must not do this in such a public venue." One of the old farts stage whispers sounding positively scandalized and it revs him up even further. As he feels the King starting to retreat he jumps forward, wrapping their body around the King's like a limpet.

Cheoljong's eyes sparks to life the new position placing them eye to eye, panting softly onto each other. The air between them is charged and thick like a bowl of porridge. 

"Your highness, I agree you mustn't do this." Court lady Choi pleads with her, averting her eyes away from the tangled couple. 

He looks over Cheoljong's wide shoulders to see the Royal court affronted and wide eyed and Court Lady Choi with a similar expression, Hong Yeon is trying desperately to smother her smile as she averts her eyes. Sending her a secret wink, he pulls the King's head forward staring hungrily at his lips.

"I cannot resist, seeing him awakens such deep passion inside of me. Just one?"

He looks at her dazed, as if he's forgotten everyone surrounding them.

"Just...one?" He questions, confusion morphing into sudden realization as he watches them slide their tongue across plush lips.

"Oh."

Ignoring the cacophony of voices around them, he closes the miniscule space between them puckering up and kissing the soft skin of the King's cheek. Cheoljong tries blindly to catch her lips when they retract but he places a slim finger on his pursed lips.

Shaking their head lightly, he starts to slide down the King's hard body feeling the tight muscles even through the layers of fabric.

"We must save the rest for later, my heart. Come and visit us soon." He rubs at his stomach fondly, staring up into Cheoljong’s red face, he looks good enough to eat.

Wait what. Who thought that? No, it's the baby talking I'm just hungry, that's enough of a show.

Bowing deeply at the men, he steps around the King who is still frozen in his spot. Gathering himself he turns to the royal court with an innocent smile, "I apologize, I could not control myself. I will take a long walk to reflect on my behavior."

They collectively stare at her with gaped mouths as she walks off regally, shoulders straight as if nothing happened. After a few steps he turns around, calling over their shoulder, "Don't keep me waiting!" And then to add the proverbial cherry on top, he curls their finger before letting out a roar to which everyone jumps looking bewildered, except the King whose eyes could pierce a hole through their face.

He looks like a starved man. Maybe they should make him some more ramyeon?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To say he's flustered is a bit of an understatement considered the problem in his pants. Logically he understands the Queen's actions earlier, she'd merely been doing what they had both agreed to feigning affection to dissolve those erroneous rumors that were circulating the kingdom. But he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this immensely.

His Queen was an enigma he had even up on fully understanding, instead choosing to accept her and all that came with her. And her feelings for him were part of his confusion, she seemed to fluctuate between her emotions without rhyme or reason. He never knew which version of her he would be receiving at any given moment. So having her acting the way he'd only imagined in his dreams was both satisfying and unsettling.

It would be most difficult to go back to their normal, he wanted her in his arms always. Desperately yearned for intimacy that didn't dissipate when the sun peeked over the horizon.

Pushing his work to the side of the table he sighs leaning back into his seat thinking about his Queen.

"Why must she be so confusing?" He groans to myself thinking about their first night together, how passionate she'd been his ears burn remembering the sharp pain of her teeth sinking it. He had bite marks in... interesting places from that heated encounter but her behavior after had been consistent only in it's in inconsistency.

Running away from him, even going as far as hiding. Then just as suddenly she stopped avoiding him and they settled into comfortable nights together. However, they hadn't been intimate since despite his many efforts, he just wanted a kiss those plush pink lips were so tempting and today they'd been so very close. He needed that kiss like he needed air, he didn't care who was around. If she had kissed him he wouldn't have controlled himself, he would have hungrily devoured.

"Your majesty it is getting late, we must leave now if you wish to see the Queen." The head eunuch interrupts his inklings, bowing low in respect.

Is he ready for this? His control feels paper thin at the moment. But he did promise and they have an image to uphold.

Gathering his strength he rises, "Alright, let us take over leave. I shouldn't keep my Queen waiting."

The walk to Daejeon Hall is short but it feels like he's traversing miles, despite his previous concerns he is now eager to see the Queen. Her face is gorgeous at all hours but there's something about her face lit with candlelight, knowing he's the only one who is allowed to see her at such hours.

Accelerating his feet, he almost races to her ignoring cries from the head eunuch in the distance. Every second not spent in her company is a second wasted.

The Queen's Court lady announces his arrival before they all bow walking backwards out of the room before sliding the doors shut.

"You took your sweet time, I told you not to keep me waiting." She glares at him, pouting slightly bringing all his attention to her mouth.

"I apologize my Queen there were pressing matters to deal with." He lies easily no attention of clarifying his meaning, she doesn't need to know that dousing his arousal was the pressing matter at hand.

"Whatever. What's more important than me?" She scoffs looking offended turning away from him.

He lowers down into a crouch, crawling across the room until they are side by side. The Queen gasps at his unexpected closeness, staring at him with wide eyes and open lips.

Grasping at her hands he stares deeply into her gorgeous eyes solemnly with no humor in his voice, "Nothing. You are most important to me, both of you." Reverently he reaches out a hand to palm at her still small belly, impatient to see her round with his seed.

Her face slowly softens as he rubs her stomach and then she places her hand atop his, no longer resistant to these fleeting moments of intimacy.

Instinctively he starts to lean forward, laser focus on her lips as he inches closer to her. When he's close enough to breath into her mouth she snaps from her haze, moving back marginally he almost growls at her he's so frustrated, he's barely able to swallow the sound.

"What are you doing? There's no one to put on a show for."

He peers at her searching her face, her pupils are dilated and he can feel how fast she's breathing each puff landing on his face, her expression near identical to their last night together. But she's stopping him. Even though she clearly desires this too.

He thinks back to her behavior earlier too, she was brazen then comfortable climbing him in front of so many others all in the name of squashing the rumors.

She needs an excuse to do this.

He should feel offended by this epiphany but instead it brings him resolve, she clearly still hasn't fully let him into her heart but she feels something for him she's more than proven that to him. If she needs to draw a line to be with him then so be it for now, he will prove himself to her everyday.

"There are several court maids and servants outside your room, they are pretending they are not listening but they are. Sometimes your imagination can be even more powerful than reality."

She looks towards the door, eying the shadows through the thin covering before turning back to him and nodding in understanding.

"Okay. Let's give them a show."

Without warning she knocks a marble vase to the ground, the loud crash filling the room as it makes contact with the floor.

Then she moans. Loudly. A suggestive gasping moan that goes straight to his chest before zinging lower, tucking at his loins.

She pushes him when he sits silently merely staring at her, "You need to play along too. Come on, get into it."

There's it is again. That damn phrase.

Get into it.

If only she knew how into it he truly was. Grabbing at her ankle and tucking her underneath him, he slams his arms on either side of her head before groaning deeply, "My Queen, please."

Pride explodes in his chest when he sees a deep blush glide across her face. Not unaffected.

"Am I getting into it enough for you now?" He whispers darkly, itching to lower his weight and kiss that delicious look off her face.

Surprisingly she stutters out, "Ye-a-ah. You seem very into it now, nobody can see us though. We don't need to be like this." She motions between their bodies, unable to meet his gaze now. She motions between their bodies, unable to meet his gaze now. She's right but he also knows that he can't miss this chance, he has her right where he wants her and besides squirming distractedly she hasn't shown any desire for him to move away.

"Do you want me to stop?" When she doesn't immediately answer he begins to move backward giving her space but she latches onto his forearm, tight.

"Wait! Maybe we should commit even if they can't see us, it'll help us play our roles better." She reasons and he smiles, razor sharp. She wants this just as badly as he does, he's studied her long enough to read between these lines.

Swiftly he rolls them over so she's on top, pressed together from shoulders to feet her long braid swinging over and brushing against his cheek. Gently wrapping it around his hand he uses it to bring her closer, her breath hitches seductively and he whispers, "Louder. So they can hear you." Without waiting for a reply he tugs at her hair again harder this time and the sound that escapes her lips is orgasmic, a high whining moan that sets his skin on fire. Emboldened and aroused he grabs her neck, speaking into her opened mouth "Do you like that my Queen?" Her eyes are glazed over as she sways as if intoxicated by him.

"Cheoljong, kiss me."

It's too quiet for anyone's ears but his and that makes him even hotter, this wasn't part of the show. This was just for him, just for them.

Always one to seize the moment, he yanks her down to meet his eagerly waiting mouth swallowing the moan that rolls off her tongue. The kiss escalates immediately with both twisting and licking, wet sucking noises soaking the room as they bring apart to gasp for air and crash back together, chaotically and perfectly. When he feels a wondering hand graze his groin he can't resist the urge to thrust up into her touch. Wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her even closer, although there is no space between them.

When he pulls back, her eyes remain close as she licks her lips as if chasing his taste on them. His cock jumps jealously.

"I want you." He admits, wanting to make it clear if his intentions are not already crystalline to her. He wants no room for misunderstandings tonight.

She stares wordlessly before reaching across his body and then he sees the oil in her hand, he hadn't noticed its presence next to them but he eagerly takes it from her.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Don't go soft on me now, bring back the guy who was pulling my hair. Do you want me to call you Daddy too?"

His breath hitches at the word, he doesn't understand why but hearing her makes something dark coil in his belly. She lifts an eyebrow at his heavy silence, "You're so kinky."

He stares confused again, nothing new to him but he stores the word away for further inspection of its meaning. "Is kin-ky bad?" He asks reaching down to lower his pants and cover himself in the thick oil coating each inch of the hard pole.

She doesn't answer right away, avidly watching him stroke himself to fullness before rubbing at the bulbous deep scarlet head, serving to make him almost painfully turned on. "No, kinky is good. I like kinky." She tugs her skirt up and his eyes bulge when instead of seeing the various layers he should see there is only bare skin.

Had he been seduced? It feels as if he has been but he doesn't care enough to question her or pause this for a second. He would happily be her fool.

Gripping at her hips he rubs against her, groaning when her wetness smears across him obscenely. She grinds down onto him meeting him head on, they are definitely on the same page now.

Unable to wait for even another second, he envelopes her in his arms before sliding into her smoothly her natural moisture and the oil easing the way until he is completely encased. She moans long and wailing as he slides to the hilt, he groans loudly joining her as she scratches roughly down his back even through the sturdy material he can feel the burn. Absently he considers gentling his moves, she is pregnant and more fragile after all. But she must read his face and be vehemently against his plan because suddenly she rises up, slipping off his hardness before slamming back down the loud smacking of skin filling the room.

"It's time for the main event. Don’t stop now.” She challenges him, squeezing around his erection. 

Pushing his reservations to the side, he gets into it full heartedly thrusting hard before capturing her mouth in a harsh kiss, hissing when he feels her teeth tug roughly at his bottom lip, his lioness has returned. He teasingly roars into her mouth and she laughs around his tongue, breaking free only to latch on his neck sucking hard. He hopes it leaves a mark.

Her laughter causes her to tighten around him and he groans at her vice like grip on his cock, he can feel himself nearing the end. Recalling their first night he suddenly grabs her neck, squeezing lightly and when she whines in a broken gasp he tightens his hand and delights as she melts slowly limp in his hold, he supports her weight easily bucking into her tight heat. When he thrusts up a second time he feels her wetness gush around him before he loses himself, his climax tensing his body as he slowly falls apart.

The entire kingdom will surely be in an uproar tomorrow.

He's looking forward to it. That will teach them to spread rumors about their intimate affairs. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In the hallway, Hong Yeon brings her hands to her hot cheeks feeling overheated from the King and Queen's boisterous gathering. Every court maid is blushing as they look discretely at the door with every moan and groan that escapes. She hopes this will qualm the rumors in the kingdom, she cannot take this for much longer. Court lady Choi had left to retrieve water after their first moans and had yet to return, she surmised if the Queen were not already with child she would have been impregnated again going by the sounds they were making. It was all too obvious to her, despite the Queen's strange behavior at times, they were desperately in love with each other. She'd never seen two people who were more crafted for the other.

Anyone who thought otherwise was a fool. 

[emachinescat]

II've decided to watch MacGyver from the beginning (again), and I'm live tweeting the experience with every tweet tagged with #savemacgyver. I thought it would be fun to share my collected thoughts from the episodes on here as well.

My Thoughts on S1E3, "Awl"

You're not only going to make it to 30, Mac, but you're going to make it to season 6. #savemacgyver

I love that Jack's bucket list includes finishing the Harry Potter books. Guess he's not a one-trick pony after all with sci-fi. A healthy blend of science fiction and fantasy is just what the doctor ordered.

Dylan Thomas reference! That poem was written about the poet's own father, and is about how everyone, no matter who they are or what they stand for, fights against death in the end. He's begging his dad to "rage, rage against the dying of the light," to not give in to death so easily, to keep fighting. Just taught this poem, actually, so I'm vibing with this reference super hard. Though to be fair, I'd be vibing with it anyway. Love Dylan Thomas.

Oh my gosh, this is the one with the fire extinguisher and inflatable escape! I'd forgotten which episode that came from, but I see GIFs of it all over Tumblr. Poor Mac especially, that looks like it hurts. Why is Lucas Till so good at being whumped?!

Jack hugging the fire extinguisher: Iconic.

I'll never get tired of seeing that polar bear! Do we know if he has a name?

I cannot get over how small and excited Bozer is, not a care in the world except for his movie. It's exciting to think about what's to come for his character growth, though I do wish he wouldn't have to go through all the things he does. :(

Jack's conversations with his dad at the grave are just everything. And I feel cheated that we haven't gotten to see Mac have the same kind of conversations at Jack's grave (though I firmly believe it's a regular occurrence off-screen).

Seriously, the way he talks to his dad is so familiar, so comfortable, so natural. It's like Daddy Dalton is right there with him and it fills me with so many emotions that I can't even.

The smile on Jack's face and the pride in his voice when he talks about Mac to his dad is the purest thing ever.

Also, that's a big-ass tombstone Jack is leaning against.

"Hi, Mr. Dalton. How's... life?" MAC! 😂

I can't tell you how much I love it when other characters talk about how smart Mac is. "He's a genius..."

First mention of Mac's dad. It's sweet how invested Jack is in Mac rebuilding his relationship with his old man. Also, I really wish we would have gotten a flashback of Jack's dad at some point. He seems like such an amazing man.

"If I could have one more day to sit and talk to my dad instead of that hunk of rock, I'd do anything." Jaaaaaaack 😭😭😭

Good old Ralph Kastrati. Single-handedly the most annoying character in all of cable television. Y'all have no idea what you're getting into with this one, dream team.

PUNCHFACE.

"My mom dated a guy like that once." Ouch. I'm about to start a Riley Zinger Counter for each episode. Her comebacks are 🔥

It's not just his face, Jack. Everything about this dude is punchable. Especially the way he says "yo."

Ewwww tightie whities no thanks imma head hom now byyye

Mac just snatched that can right out of Jack's hand as he was about to take a drink. Classic.

If I didn't hate Ralph before (spoiler: I did), then I extra hate him for the foie gras comment.

Yes, Jack, "asshat" is the perfect descriptor for this guy.

Is Mac seriously about to just make him some noise-canceling headphones? Who am I kidding? Of course he is.

I need more of Mac punching people in the face. For science.

Poor Jack didn't get to punch the punch face.

🎵 Snipers gonna snipe, snipe, snipe, snipe, snipe 🎵

Between the foie gras and the calfskin, they are really making this guy so easy to hate just sayin'.

"As soon as you're done saving his life, I'm gonna kill him, you hear that, smart-ass? I'm already dressed for the funeral." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"He's g-good. He just... got kinda shot." Is that the medical terminology, Mac?

Jack using country music as a form of torture 🤣

"You're going to be seeing Yelp stars if you don't shut up!"

Have I mentioned how much I love the music in this show?

"I don't wanna die listening to country music!"

I love how bossy and grabby Mac gets when he improvises.

Another belt grab! I can’t get over Jack trying to keep his crazy partner from falling out of the window – it gives me life!

Actually makes me wonder if he does it because Mac’s taken a tumble out of a car window before. *fanfic brain engaged*

“You know how I feel about your puns.” C’mon, Mac, pus are the greatest forms of humor, bar-pun. (Geddit?)

Mc made a C in biology? I’m not buying it.

Dwwwwwww the sounds of the surgery. No thanks.

Though I will say this is one of the coolest (albeit grossest) things Mac’s ever done on this show.

What the heck is with that elevator door? It took a whole 10 years to close! I wouldn’t trust it. (To be fair, I don’t trust any elevator, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Sir Bleeds-a-Lot lol

Riley stepping in and taking charge once again. No idea how these two functioned before she came along.

Some seriously cool MacGyverisms in this episode. The whole process of “killing” Ralph and bringing him back with office supplies is so OG MacGyver and it gives me all the warm fuzzies.

Ralph: “You’re not a scientist, you’re not a doctor. So how the hell do you know all this stuff?” Mac: “...I read a lot of books?” I love Mac so much.

“Now go die.” Lolololol

The moment with Ralph wanting to call his mom and grow the hell up is surprisingly genuine and heartbreaking. Character development for a character in only one episode, hello, is that you?

“He’s dead, but he’ll get better.” MacGyver, 2016

Riley’s comeback about Jack’s plan to take out six guys if Mac takes out two is another winner. (Riley: 2, Jack: 0) Still, I love the whole, “Sure it does [count as a plan]. First, I’ll take two. Then, I’ll take the other four.” This is why Mac is the plan guy, not Jack.

“Or I can take them all out.” Mac’s confidence = 🔥

I might need to start a Mac sass counter too. Jack: “You seriously want me to put this on my face?” Mac: “Only if you like breathing.”

Jack’s left fist getting jealous 🤣

They really liked choking Mac in the early episodes, didn’t they? Not that I’m complaining. Actually, why did that stop? That strangled, panicked cry of “JACK?!” is music to my fanfic writing, hurt/comfort obsessed, whump-loving soul.

That cough - it actually hurts me to hear it! They should have given us some more repercussions or aftercare for Mac breathing in that gas!

Ralph fell asleep. Of course.

“You know, it’s weird. I’m glad he’s alive… but I still want to kill him. 🤣 I’m with Jack on this one!

Ralph: “A fresh start. I could use one of those right?” Riley: “Or a whole new personality.” ZZZING!!! Riley: 1 million, the world: -10

Oh he did not just call Riley “little hottie.” I’m back to wanting to kill him, character development be darned. So diminutive, dehumanizing, and objectifying. This guy has more than won the douchebag lottery. Riley can more than stick up for herself, but still. The way he speaks to her here makes me feel all kinds of gross.

He just said “ya heard” unironically. Can we let Jack punch him now, please?

Jack offering to let Ralph keep the cash he lifted if he gets to punch him is great, but even better is Mac and Riley offering to chip in money for The Cause.

Oh, yeah, Bozer was in this episode. I’m excited for when he is utilized more!

Bozer’s monster Mac is nightmare fuel!

“A letter? That you put in the mail? It’s 2016.” Hey, as someone who has an actual, old-school type pen pal, step off, Jack.

Mac: “You just gonna watch?” Jack, offended: “Not anymore.” How is it Jack is like Mac’s dad but they also bicker like 5-year-olds? This relationship is so strange, so wonderful, and the heart of the show in so many ways. I love them.

Mac’s words of wisdom about the nature of life are actually super encouraging and exactly what I needed to hear today.

I’d forgotten how much I love this episode – t’s so fun! Although the Codex storyline in season 4 is probably my favorite plot-wise, coming back to these early episodes is like a breath of fresh air! Excellent, excellent episode with so much to offer!

What are your thoughts on "Awl?" I'd love to discuss! :)

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

[kurisus]

Chapter 88-2 thoughts

I’m writing this at 6 AM because I CAN’T SLEEP WOO. As mentioned in my snaps, I first read this chapter while in a work call so I’m rereading it now to be able to focus a bit better. Buckle up, this will be long. Spoilers as always.

So Yukine was not necessarily snuggling with the wolves. He was asking them to eat him. I think in all the other bad stuff happening this chapter this detail got overlooked slightly but it’s bad!!!!

Who was the shadow we saw approaching him when he was with the wolves?? Was it trash dad after all? I think it has to be.

really don’t appreciate the Suzuha mention in THE YEAR OF OUR LORD TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY

Yukine was such a caring brother it makes my heart hurt. Yukine in general makes my heart hurt. How did it end up happening that his mom just left him behind??

so if Fujisaki is telling the truth, we now know the context of Yukine’s death. And somehow, I think this is the most unpleasant revelation to come out of this chapter. Big statement, I know, but it explains...a lot.

Yukine was writing letters to his sister in secret for probably years, and as soon as his dad found out...well, we know the rest. I remember speculating (and a few others did too) why Yukine was barefoot and not struggling in that panel a couple chapters back that showed his final moments. So if he was already beaten enough to warrant hospitalization, that would explain why he wasn’t reacting the way he should have been.

At this point, if trash dad WAS telling the truth, I’d be fine if they didn’t show the actual scene of his death and just left it at that. Which means...we now know everything about Yukine’s time when he was alive. And of course there’s a lot we can say to fill out the gaps, but we have all the most important details. Finding out exactly how he died was the last piece in the puzzle. Aside from his full first name, that is.

Yukine yelling at trash dad to shut up and him continuing on anyway :) we really needed to know his final thoughts were “why?” :) I hate it here :)

I really hate even talking about this, this shit is FUCKED

okay so as far as trash dad is aware, Yukine’s body was still in the fridge. Meaning he had no idea that Yato went to dig it up all those months ago. Meaning Nora never breathed a word about it to him. I don’t really know how to express my feelings on this but thank you Nora. we owe you one. I have a feeling trash dad’s intent was not to give him a proper burial (since he’s all about false shows of kindness), though as to what it was, I cannot say.

I think at this point it’s pretty clear that Yato is the one who gave him a proper burial. When the panel of the empty refrigerator dropped a few months back, the fact that the body was missing struck me as just odd, and I thought maybe Yukine’s dad dug it back up for some sort of weird ritual, but judging by what we know now, that doesn’t seem likely. As soon as people started saying Yato buried him I was smacking my face like “of COURSE that’s what happened duh”

so trash dad is confirmed to drop his body in a very similar way to Hiyori, and we also confirmed that the version of him in the black robe is his spirit form. Nora mentioned his “body” a while back but now we finally got to see it. Is he a half ayakashi?? Is this just something he can do because he’s possessing Fujisaki’s body??? gah Adachitoka I want ANSWERS

Hagusa’s vessel name is just a double whammy. It’s like a horrible inversion of the fact that Yato named Kazuma Kazune. “Kazune” has the double meaning of referring to their time limit as well as being the “Kazu” Yato was already familiar with. With Hagusa, that name refers to a type of grain that looks like rice...in other words, something that appears valuable but is worthless. And now we see the vessel name is Yuuki? Adachitoka galaxy brained to punch me in the face.

SO THE REASON YUKINE DOESN’T HAVE A CELL PHONE IS BECAUSE HE DIED BEFORE THEY WERE INVENTED???? I always thought it was because he didn’t need one since Yato, Hiyori, Kazuma, and Kofuku were really the only people he needed to communicate with. but he seemed really excited to use trash dad’s. I’m in pain.

I’m thinking back to when Hiyori almost asked Yukine how he died way back in the beginning of the manga and trash dad now telling Yukine “Hiyori never wanted to know? I bet she did, since humans always want to pry into other people’s business” you shut your mouth

Speaking of Hiyori all we got of her this chapter was her looking pissed off. When she arrives to the fight I just want her to fuck shit up. She may not have her half ayakashi form but she can still snap trash dad’s neck in half.

Perhaps the reason Yukine didn’t find any news articles about himself was because “Haru” was just a nickname. I find it hard to believe that there was nothing about him going missing, especially since his dad made a fuss with putting up missing person flyers everywhere. There’s no way the police wouldn’t have gotten involved, right?

Either way it doesn’t really matter--his dad never got charged with anything even if he was a suspect, and no one else cared enough to look either.

this is so many levels of fucked

“So even now my father is still killing me” this line. THIS LINE. THIS FUCKING LINE. It’s such a succinct and excellent summary of Yukine as a character--as much as we love our son, the fact remains that he is dead. And he is dead because of his father’s abuse and society’s neglect. So no matter however much he grows and changes in the afterlife, it cannot change that his life was cut short far too soon, and everything good that happens to him is overshadowed by the fact that it’s indirectly because of his nasty father. And he got away with it. I can’t.

Before this chapter came out I speculated we’d want to strangle Yukine’s dad even more than we already did. and I was right. but holy shit this line was a kick in the gut while I’m still recovering from “that boy loved people”

Yukine loved people too....he loved people and they turned their backs on him BUT HE NEVER GAVE UP ON LOVING!!! IT JUST TOOK A DIFFERENT SHAPE. FUCK.

So Father knows someone visited the fridge. I wonder if he’s figured out that it was Hiyori yet. I just want her to snap him like a twig. it’s what he deserves.

Father also doesn’t care about Yukine, like, at all (we been knew), to the point he couldn’t even realize the only blond character in this fucking manga now has black hair. MAN. that just says a lot about him, huh.

Are we going to find out whether one of his parents was foreign?? He and Yuka are both noticeably light-haired and it hasn’t been addressed aside from Yukine’s hair color changing.

The hair color change was the only spoiler I saw before the chapter came out and it’s been haunting me ever since. I thought initially Yukine dyed his hair while trash dad was out, but now I wonder if the dark hair is his vessel form? Fujisaki summoned him before leaving, so I don’t know. He does look like his bird ayakashi form with having clawed hands as well.

I remember seeing speculation that trash dad generally tells the truth. well as of this chapter we know he’s a fucking liar. Hiyori left that flower, and I think it will end up being important in the long run when Yukine realizes that she’s the only human who truly cares about him.

Whether trash dad has been telling the truth about other things remains to be seen. We still don’t know how he got out of Yomi, if that’s really what happened to make him immortal. But this lie about the flower seems to be a white lie. He could have just said he didn’t know. If he so readily lied about this, who’s to say he hasn’t been lying about other things too, you know?

Yukine destroying the fridge would normally make me be like good for her.jpeg but since the context is him with trash dad I actually hate it

Since Yukine is now so eager to meet his dad I can’t shake the feeling that he’s dead. It would be the perfect gut-punch for him to demand why his father killed him, only to find out that he’s dead (and maybe even that YATO did it...which would only add more fuel to the fire....fuck) and never get to resolve his turmoil.

I’ve been on the fence about whether Yukine’s dad is still alive but based on this chapter I’m putting my bets on “he’s dead and Yato killed him back in the early manga because that would cause the most suffering at present and that generally seems to be the route Adachitoka takes.”

Like, yeah, if Yato did it it was to protect Yukine, but that doesn’t matter when he’s already so pissed off at Yato.

Yato only fired on trash dad because he didn’t know that it was Yukine with him. And Yukine is again thinking that Yato is trying to hurt him. This chapter is also a horrible inversion of...was it 83-2? where Yato tried to kill trash dad and Yukine stopped him? Except now this time it’s not because Yukine wants answers, it’s because he’s pissed at Yato and loyal to trash dad.

Yato was also a fool for thinking sniping trash dad from afar would work, especially when it didn’t even work the first time.

So now the thing I’ve been working up to talking about throughout these many, many words: Hagusa’s vessel form is...himself. He is the weapon. This is such a wonderful (and terrible) narrative choice I’m delighted by where it will take us physically and metaphorically, but obviously it hurts. A lot.

Yuuki being himself the weapon that trash dad fights Yato with for what may be their final showdown is such a fitting culmination to his character arc in this section of the story. (when trash dad said he would turn him into a weapon I DIDN’T REALIZE IT WAS LITERAL)

This is also a good choice art-wise because it means even more pain with seeing Yukine physically fighting Yato rather than Yato and trash dad fighting with swords or something.

So Yato met with Yuka before (it was a flashback, as many people pointed out to me after I goofed last month lmao) but whether that was earlier today or further in the past remains to be seen. I hope he told her to get out because it seems like trash dad is heading into her house while Yato and Yukine face off.

well. “face off” is maybe an exaggeration. Yato will not be able to fight Yukine at all and I’m anticipating he gets the shit kicked out of him, again, while he tries to make him see reason. bro. I hate this. I really, really hate this. This final fight is going all the ways I knew it would, but hoped it wouldn’t.

Hiyori and Nora come help please

July can’t come soon enough

I’m pretty sure this is my longest thoughts post ever. so much happened and I have so many feelings about all of it.

[snowpeawritings]

Hi, I would like to request a Ren/Akira story where the reader got caught up in the palace transfer thing with PT and unlocks her persona after being told she will never be able to be as strong or of use like the others. Thanks and I really love you work!

yessss always wanted to write an awakening scene!

Reader is female

CW (CONTENT WARNING): Swearing

You wanted to change this rotten world for the better but you were a pacifist.

Your parents raised you to never fight violence with violence, lest it would continue this toxic cycle that will never end. As much as you hated the fact that you can’t do anything to change things physically, just being there emotionally is enough for you. As such, you weren’t easily the most picked on. No one disliked you, but no one particularly liked you.

And you were fine with that.

With the coming of the transfer student, students and teachers were already giving him shit. You knew Kamoshida's… actions in order to become the school’s fan favorite. It honestly pissed you off to no end, having a scumbag like him walk like he owns the place, but you really couldn’t stand up to him and his adoring fans. All you could do whenever the transfer student (you believed his name was Kurusu?) is getting ostracised from the school is giving him your time and becoming his first friend.

And you were fine with that.

Turns out he wasn’t the delinquent everyone made him out to be. He just wanted to have his normal future back and a normal high school life. While you could never grant him that wish, you’ll be his support when people weigh him down. Even the threat of expulsion of him, Ryuji and Mishima would keep him up, you would always be there. Even if there’s nothing more you could do than offer half-empty words.

And you were fine with that.

When news of Kamoshida’s confession spread, you really didn’t know what to think. The calling card that was posted across the school bulletin made you believe these ‘thieves’ but it was a far stretch. You were still Akira’s friend whom he hangs out with from time to time but you never knew that he was friends with Ryuji and Ann. Then the circle grew to Mishima, to a student from Kosei High, to Makoto Niijima–

And you were fine with being outside of his circle.

He certainly looked happier when he was with them. While he rarely smiles, you could see that glint of life in his dark eyes whenever Ryuji makes a corny joke and Ann has to smack him upside the head or when he says something witty that just encompasses how much of a dork he is. He even went so far as to try to serenade his cat when the feline clearly did not want to be held[1] (who knew he had such a great voice?).

He did smile when you were hanging out with him, but you never seen him truly look happy with you. For some reason, you were fine with that.

Akira still tries to hang out with you. You could tell when his eyes winced at his own disappointment when he rejected you spending some time with him. His circle of friends were his top priority as he always goes out with them seemingly every day. As much as you wanted to respect his private life, you yourself had to guess just where the heck they kept going, especially when they were a fairly big group.

You didn’t want to follow them but to be fair, it was sheer coincidence that you were there when the entire world shifted. And no, it wasn’t because you wanted to follow Ryuji because he still hasn’t paid his debt to you to buy that entire pack of Black Thunder chocolate.

The dilapidated and destroyed train station is what you saw when you opened your eyes. You were sure this was the station that you wait for your train but never in complete chaos like this. Honestly, the place isn’t what made you scream. What you screamed was when the weird-looking cat in front of you transformed into a van in front of a group of equally weird-looking people.

When the fellow in the black coat whipped his head, you knew those dark eyes anywhere.

“It’s you!?” You screeched, your voice echoing across the tunnel endlessly. “Y-You mean… this entire time, the Phantom Thieves were you guys!?”

The girl in red who you were sure was Ann waved her hands rapidly. “No, _______! We’re not—”

Her eyes widened in surprise at her mistake before slapping her gloved hands over her mouth. “Wait, no! I mean—”

The blonde boy beside her, Ryuji, stomped his foot at Ann’s glaring mistake. “Great way to eff it up, Panther! Now she knows who we are now!”

The way that ‘Panther’ had smacked Ryuji upside the head proved your hunch right; the ragtag group of vigilante thieves that steal hearts were also your own classmates.

“I mean…” You said shakily, trying to diffuse the fight between Ryuji and Ann. “It’s pretty obvious from your voice and hair. But seriously, w-where are we? What is this place?”

The comment about them being obvious was ignored for now. Instead, the brunette you knew to be Makoto stepped in and explained everything to an extent: the Metaverse, them being the Phantom Thieves of Heart, and a magical cat.

“But please, please keep this a secret.” Makoto-or Queen- pleaded with you. “Our entire work would be gone if you tell anyone else what we do.”

You waved your hand to calm her down. “I’ll keep this a secret, don’t worry. Besides, no one talks to me so it’s all good.”

You looked over to Morgana, the cat bus that seemed to regard you with what you guessed was slight interest. “So… how do you guys normally get out of here?”

Akira-or Joker-answered you. “There’s this app on our phones that lets us go in and out of the Metaverse. And right now, I’m getting you out of here.”

As much as you wanted to stay and see how they do their job, you nodded in agreement with him. He stepped close to you, phone in his hand as his finger hovered over an eerily-looking red eye. 

“I promise,” He whispered to you, his breath fanning against your ear which made you shiver,  “I’ll explain everything to you once we’re done here.”

Him being so close has your heart churning. And you were fine with that.

But the fleeting moment ended when you heard the sound of metal clanging against each other before Joker had been sent flying from you. Just a second he was standing so close to you. Now, he was sprawled on the floor, Queen healing him as the rest of the Thieves huddled together to protect their leader.

The being that attacked Joker looked like someone from Buddhist lore; its fists crackled with lightning before hurling a large bolt of thunder towards the group. The resounding clap of thunder soon followed, electrocuting everyone who and especially the severely weakened Joker. It was only Skull who was still standing but even he looked like he was about to faint from how everyone couldn’t stand up.

“Th-The hell!?” Skull gasped out, shakily bringing out an iron bat before sizing up the figure. “Where the hell did you come from!?”

Mona groaned out from his spot. “Don’t bother fighting it, Skull! He landed a critical hit on us!”

“Get ______ out of here!” Joker gasped out, his hands inching for his mask. “I’ll hold him back for you two to escape!”

His voice brought you some clarity. The gravity of the situation had just sunk in and right now, you didn’t know whether you wanted to collapse, vomit or both. The rest of the thieves were still trying to stand up in the face of the enemy but with it raising its fists, you don’t think they could dodge it in time.

With Skull quivering, with Joker yelling, and with you panicking, you had to move. You had to move you had to move you had TO MOVE–

“And what is this?”

The next moment you blinked, you were standing in front of the large figure with the Phantom Thieves behind you. The blood pumping in your ears muffled your hearing, the sounds you could only make out were your rapidly beating heart and the booming voice of the Buddhist deity.

“Quite a brave one to stand up to me,” he said to you, “you’ll be the first to die.”

You swallowed in your bile. “I… I can still hurt you, you know!”

He slowly moved down his fists and crossed his arms below his chest. “And what good will come out of it? Your comrades are down–”

Your ears cleared for a bit, only to hear the group’s desperate shouts for you to move.

“This one is still shaking–”

Skull was already heaving at this point.

“And you can do nothing about it.”

You can do nothing about it.

That’s always been your entire schtick. You can do nothing about it. You said you wanted to change the world for the better but you were just a teenager who has some social problems. You were always the last choice when all of the good ones are used up. You were always the one in the sidelines–

“And are you fine with that?”

A sharp pain, resounding across your head before battering against your brain like a ram.

“Are you fine sticking to the sidelines, only watching others change while you stay frozen?”

Your hands grasped your head, your saliva mixed with some bile dripping down on the ground as your head pounded. Nothing could be heard except the voice in your head and it felt so goddamn right.

“Nothing will change if you yourself won’t follow through with it. You’re only continuing this tireless cycle that you wanted to desperately break. And you’re fine with that?”

“I’m not…” You growled out. The pain was unbearable but it only fueled your spite you kept hidden all this time. Within your rising rage, you barely registered getting Skull’s bat.

With a roar, you ran towards the beast, raising the bat before smashing the side of his face. “I’m not going to stand still anymore!”

The voice chuckled. “Good. That anger coupled with my power… no one can stop us.”

“I am thou, thou art I… become the winds of change that fuels the rebellion inside people’s hearts! Show them the anger that you swallowed all this time!”

A red mask lined with gold adorned your face, the feather on the left temple danced wildly with the winds blowing from you.

As your fingers gripped the mask, your lips quirked into a smirk. “Sing your heart out… De Beauvoir!”

Everything blew back; the beast, the rest of the thieves, and your self-loathing. The navy blue that adorned your body whipped around from the wind, the coattails behind you gave the appearance of wings ready to take flight. From your hip, you grabbed your sabre and flourished it before pointing the tip at the beast.

The thieves behind you stared in awe at you and the feminine figure appearing behind you. Her ball gown danced about, showing the white petticoat underneath as a pale red veil covered her flowing locks.

“What awesome power…!” Mona breathed out. “I knew there was something special about her!”

De Beauvoir’s face was covered with a masquerade ball mask, a golden band that stretched across the upper part of her face in order to highlight the rage that was building in her azure eyes. Her painted lips parted, and a single note rang out that slowly transitioned into a vibrato as a pale green light shined on the group.

“A healing spell?” Queen questioned, her strength slowly getting back as she stood up.

Yusuke-or Fox-who had been silent since your arrival, gasped at your transformation. “Such form… I never expected her to have this much power.”

“Sorry for blowing you all away.” You called out to the group, your eyes narrowing at the beast. “But with me and De Beauvoir, allow us to thank you for granting us this power!”

You felt movement beside as you turned your eyes to see Joker smirking at you. His dark eyes shone with that same glint of life when you realized that he finally gave that look to you.

“Don’t run away now.” He jested.

You scoffed but your smirk still stayed. “Same to you!”

—————————-

[1] OKOK this was hella inspired by Xander Mobus and Robbie Daymond singing together and im sO ATTACKED BY XANDER!!!! 

AND THE THING OF HIM SERENADING MORGANA IS FROM THIS 

[shnuggletea]

So...I completely forgot to post this one to AO3 yesterday. I had an argument with AO3 and this one got missed. And it’s one of my faves so I’m posting it now a day late.

Want a fluffy college AU with a side of body swap? I can’t tell you how much I love this kiss lol.

I really love this one. I wish I had more time to write it but I’m still really happy with it lol. It’s up on AO3 here. For the unedited version (some smoots in there) subscribe and read on my Patreon here.

You can read it below too if you like. I hope you drop me some love either here or on AO3. Or Patreon lol.

@underwater0phelia @lavendertwilight89 @mamabearcat @nartista @nopenname22 @echobows @superpixie42 @smmahamazing @redflamesofpassion @jme-chan @cstorm86 @cicleydark-light @ruddcatha @lavaffair @kirrtash @sistasecbhere @obsessandfangirl @britonell @lordofthechips @mcornilliac @faolenwolf @keichanz @phoenix-before-the-flame @artisticloveexpressitsall @lamuertadehambre @noyourenotreal @mitty-san @thenoammonster @little-deeluna @royaltrashpanda @sailorbabydoll92 @storyweaver2017 @malditamigs @adorabubblesblog @lilms-obsessed @petri808 @anniehcresta @fan-dumpp @itzatakahashi @utakuprincess @theschultinator @all-too-ale @little-inukag-obsessed @theseagullqueen @queenofthesquirps @jolinaaa00 @knowall7k @neutronstarchild @fawn-eyed-girl @eringobroke @sapphirestarxx @clearwillow @dangerouspompadour @misspepperpottss  @jayangel10 @master-ray5 @sailorsilverladybug @astraearose93 @egosolivagant @fandompromptsandfun @fandomartlover @holi-holy @kagometaishostory  @liz8080

She couldn’t take any more of this. Kagome had a huge test tomorrow (midterms) and the jerks next door were having  another  party. She got it. Some people finished up early and were just hanging around with nothing more to do during the break. But it was mostly those who were majoring in “Undecided” with a minor in “What the fuck am I doing with my life?”. 

 Kagome was double majoring. At least, that’s what they called it here but really it was like having two lives. One major was for show and the other a secret. Just like everyone at this university for those who were… different. 

 For example; her roommate, Sango, was majoring in sports medicine and demon-slaying. Kagome was majoring in Psychology and Healing (aka Miko Magic). 

 Her neighbor was majoring in failing. Or at least, that’s what she supposed since all he ever seemed to do was throw parties. And his roommate went along with it. A couple of slack asses with all the free time in the world to torture her with. All because the two of them were ‘the exception’. One a human with a cursed hand and the other half human half demon, they didn’t exactly fit into the school’s ideal student but had nowhere else to go. 

 Couldn’t have the world finding out about them now could they?

 As she spilled out into her hall, Kagome really wished she had the funds for an apartment as the entire dorm floor was out. It was an open door party. 

 It was surprising just how many of her floormates were involved. Kagome was pretty sure at least some of them still had exams to survive. Everyone seemed to be looking at her as she passed; as if they knew she was about to kill the party. 

 Pushing through to the inside of the ‘main room’, the one that was responsible for this mess of a party, Kagome choked on her gasp. Someone knocked on her back until she breathed on her own. “Professor Kaede?? What the hell are you doing here?!”

 Sitting at the table that had been moved into the small dorm room, Miroku sat with his hand in Kaede’s. It looked like she was doing palm readings but that was a parlor trick at best. “I’m determining the students’ futures. Would ye like a reading, Kagome?”

 Kaede went back to Miroku’s palm while Kagome stormed up to the table. “I already know my future. Because I’m going to  fail  my midterm thanks to this jerk!”

 “Come now, Kagome, you’re a very bright woman. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Now, Kaede-san, when will I meet the mother of my child?!”

 Kagome’s jaw dropped as Kaede searched Miroku’s palm with a serious look on her face. “Your palm looks very dark, I’m afraid.”

 “Oh haha, I know about my curse already old lady. What about my future?”

 Kagome smacked the back of Miroku’s head. “Show some respect!!”

 She was about to do more when Miroku shot her a wink but Kagome was pulled off the floor and into strong arms. She didn’t give up the fight, knowing full well who was brave enough to mess with her like this and it only angered her more. “Ignore her, Professor Kaede. She’s under a lot of stress.” Kagome clawed Inuyasha’s arm and got free while he held the scratched arm as if it actually hurt the half-demon. “GAH! What’s your problem now, Kagome!”

 “My problem?” Kagome ignored the complete lack of respect Inuyasha sent her way with her name and let it fuel her rage. “My problem is that I have a huge test tomorrow and…”

 “You always have a huge test or huge paper or huge pain in my ass something tomorrow! LIghten up, Kagome, this is college! You’re supposed to have fun!”

 “Why? Your slack ass is having enough fun for me and everyone else on campus. Damn lazy man whore!!”

 They were in each other’s faces but no one worried in the slightest. The pair always got like this. Inuyasha didn’t take his glare off of Kagome as he spoke to Kaede. “Professor, can you tell me Kagome’s past?”

 “Why would ye want that?”

 “I want to find the demon that put the massive  stick up her ass  and slay them before she ruins my entire college experience.”

 “Drop dead!”

 “You first!!!”

 “Guys! Stop it!” Sango yelled. 

 Kagome rolled her eyes at her roommate, currently chatting with some guy while sipping on a drink. Everyone was having fun besides her. Miroku jumped up from his seat and Inuyasha plopped down, wrapping an arm around Kagome’s shoulders. “Why don’t you have a drink? Take a break from studying for a bit and have your palm read?”

 Shaking him off, Kagome glared at the other man whore in residence. “I can’t take a break, I’m too busy dealing with you asshats. And I already know my future, it’s going to be me out on the street when I fail all my courses!!!”

 “Kagome spreading her legs for money? Well, I guess that’s the only way to get her to…” She leaned down to Inuyasha’s ear and blew into it. He flicked his ears and hands around to get her to stop but always missed her when she did that and she didn’t know if it was on purpose or if he had terrible aim. “Don’t do that! How many times have I told you not to blow in my ears, bitch?!”

 “How many times have I told you to keep the noise down, Bitch?” Kagome cooed in his face.

 She saw something flash in his eyes like a flicker from a flame. It used to scare her but Kagome had seen it enough times now to know it just meant she was really getting to Inuyasha. “Ye two should learn to get along. Ye would fare much better…”

 “Tell me about it.” “I would appreciate it!” They said at the same time.

 Kaede chortled, still holding Inuyasha’s hand. She grabbed Kagome’s as well and held them side by side. “Ye have more in common than ye think…”

 “I’m nothing like him.” “Yeah, if I’d boarded up my cock like she did her vag.” They talked over each other.

 Kagome used her free hand to flick Inuyasha’s ear. “Stop talking about my sex life! You have no clue!!”

 “Fair enough,” he conceded, but she knew better, “can’t talk about something that doesn’t exist, right?”

 “Both of you, quiet!” Kaede yelled suddenly. It made Kagome jump and Inuyasha put a hand on her back until he caught himself and retracted it like it never happened. “The two of ye need to see eye to eye or ye will never be happy.”

 “Agreed. Kagome, can’t you see that I’m only making people happy?”

 “Inuyasha, can’t  you  see that it’s not all about you?!”

 Kaede had Kagome’s hand on top of Inuyasha’s, pushing them together hard with her old and wrinkled hands. “Walk a mile in ye shoes and grow together as a team.”

 Kagome blinked but the image didn’t change. She was laying down but the ceiling didn’t look right. It was the fact that she could see the ceiling that was weird since she should see Sango’s bed above her. They had bunked their beds to make more space in their room. She slowly sat up and found that it was more than the ceiling that was wrong. All of her felt wrong.

 And she was in the wrong bed.

 Miroku was asleep across from her and Kagome had to cup her hands over her mouth to keep her freak out from waking him up. She was in Inuyasha’s bed!!! How the hell did she… the last thing she remembered was Professor Kaede’s weirdness and then… what happened after that?? 

 Oh god… she was drugged! 

 That was the only thing that explained her memory loss AND waking up in Inuyasha’s bed. There was NO WAY she would have slept with him otherwise! Sure, Inuyasha was hot as hell but they had nothing else in common and Kagome needed an emotional connection to be attracted to someone.

 This wasn’t the point, the point was… she needed to get the fuck out of here. She was alone in the bed. Which meant Inuyasha was up already and she hoped to GOD he wasn’t spreading the word around that he had nailed her. 

 Her legs felt weird when she got to them. So did her feet, the carpet not feeling the same as the stuff in her room. But hers was cleaner and she left it at that. Struggling with the door, she looked both ways before barreling out into the empty hall. It was still early so no one else was up yet. She prayed she could get a few more hours of studying in before her exam as she opened and closed her door behind her. 

 Resting against the door, she caught her breath. Her ears were ringing too or something. And the smells around her bugged her to no end. Great, she was getting a migraine. So much for studying, Kagome was going to try and sleep it off. 

 Kagome plopped to her bed only to have it screech back at her. “Fuck, Miroku, I’m not in the mood.”

 Everything stopped; her heart, lungs, eyes, and brain. The body that sat up on her bed was… her. It was her face, her blue eyes, her black hair (a mess), and her mouth that parted in shock as Kagome’s body looked back at her. 

 “What… the fuck….” Kagome’s body shot up and hit her head on the bottom of Sango’s bed. “Awe, fuck!”

 She only knew one person that swore THIS much. “Inuyasha??”

 That wasn’t her voice. That was… Inuyasha’s voice. But it came out of her mouth?! 

 Stumbling, Kagome ended up crawling across the floor to the mirror. When gold eyes met her in the reflection, white hair that was wild around white ears, she felt faint. She tried slapping herself but it was no use. The image in the mirror didn’t change save for the redding of the cheek she’d slapped. Inuyasha’s cheek. 

 She was in Inuyasha’s body.

  Kagome watched her body pace before her. It was so weird; like those ‘out of body’ experiences that she’d read about in her textbooks. The strangest part was that neither of them was in the clothes they were wearing last night. Kagome remembered the over-sized t-shirt and yoga pants from last night and the tight collar shirt and jeans Inuyasha had worn. But she was in sweats and a faded t-shirt now while her body was in….

 Kagome’s body suddenly stopped pacing and she realized to her horror that Inuyasha was staring at her body in the full-length mirror. “Damn, Kags, you’ve got a nice body.”

 Her hands were going up her belly when she shot to her feet and grabbed her hands. Blocking Inuyasha’s view of the mirror as well as stopping him from using her hands to feel herself up, she made Inuyasha’s face glare down at hers. “Don’t do that. Don’t do anything like touch yourself or look at yourself naked while in my body.”

 He huffed, a strange sound coming from her body. “You can touch yourself all you want in my body. And get a good look at... me naked if you want. I know you want to….”

 Pulling Inuyasha’s hands hard off hers, Kagome moved the body she was in away from hers. “That’s not important! What’s important is getting ourselves… right!”

 Inuyasha was twisting Kagome’s hands around and she saw the blood. “Dammit. You have to be careful! My claws are sharp!”

 “Oh my god, I’m sorry!”

 “Yeah? Tell it to yourself. It’ll be your scar.”

 Kagome moved Inuyasha’s body to the dresser and pulled out her first aid. “You’re right. It’ll be my problem and I did it to myself.” Inuyasha was silent while she cleaned and wrapped the slice to the top of her body’s hand. “But I’m sorry because you’re the one feeling the pain right now.. Aren’t you?”

 Inuyasha twisted Kagome’s face in confusion. This was all too weird for her and she had to look away as her brows creased together in the middle. “I feel the pain, yeah. But it’s fine. What are we going to do about this??”

 “Well, first, we should probably figure out how it happened. How did our bodies get switched??”

 “It was Kaede…” A voice mumbled from above. With everything going on, Kagome had forgotten about Sango who had been asleep above their heads. “She did it so go ask her and let me sleep!!”

 Kagome scoffed (which was far more effective when he was in Inuyasha’s body) and grabbed his arm. Something that was also more effective if he was in his body, nearly falling back on the ass he currently inhabited when Kagome didn’t budge in Inuyasha’s body. “Come on, let’s go.”

 She crossed the thick arms of Inuyasha’s across his equally yummy chest.  “You can’t think like that while in his body!!!” she scolded herself and refocused. “Change first.”

 Inuyasha dropped her head to look down at herself and it was just as bad as the mirror as he took in the sight of her body in nothing more than a tight tank top and panties. “You know, I wouldn’t kick you out of the bed if I woke up to this.”

 “God, just stop it and put on some clothes!”

 Racing to her dresser, she pulled out jeans and a sweater that Inuyasha pulled on. Kagome was never going to get used to this, it was too much to wrap her mind around as she watched herself get dressed. The last thing Inuyasha did was grab her strands and pull them around to her shoulder. Kagome was a little more than shocked when he braided her hair perfectly in a few seconds, holding out a hand for a hair tie. With the braid tied off, he gestured to his hair with one of her fingers. 

 “Could you at least do something about that?”

 She brushed Inuyasha’s fingers through his hair, snagging a few times on knots but otherwise finding it super soft. “Wow.”

 “Yeah, I take care of my shit. So don’t fuck it up while the cat is out of the house!”

 She rolled Inuaysha’s eyes and grabbed a brush. A few moments later, they were standing in front of Professor Kaede’s office door. Inuyasha had Kagome’s hands in the pockets of her jeans, standing just as he did when in his body. While Kagome had her backpack on Inuyasha’s shoulder. It felt oddly lighter even though it was filled the same as it always was.

 “What the fucking hell?” Kagome’s mouth spouted.

 Another student passed, giving Kagome a look from the foul mouth Inuyasha was giving her. But Kagome could care less at the moment. She looked with Inuyasha’s eyes at the door to see the note attached to it. “Family emergency. Be back after break??”

 “Great. Juuuuuust great!! What the hell are we supposed to do stuck in the bodies for the entire break?!”

 Inuyasha’s heart dropped into her stomach. “Inuyasha… my exam…”

 “What?” Kagome’s body spun and then flicked her head up, forgetting about his new height. 

 “My exam. I’ve been studying all week for it… it’s important and now I… I can’t even take it?! What… what I’m I gonna do?!”

 Kagome’s body tried to grab Inuyasha’s shoulders but failed from the height difference and held onto biceps instead. “Hey, I can’t be seen crying! Get your shit together Kagome!”

 It was really easy to stop what she had started, sobering quickly. “Whoa, that’s weird. Do you have no feelings at all??”

 “Yeah. I’m an unfeeling monster while you’re an emotional wreck. Who’s the one really suffering here?” Inuyasha fussed while a tear fell down Kagome’s cheek.

 Without a thought, Kagome gently used Inuyasha’s hand to brush the tear off her body’s cheek. “I can’t fail this test Inuyasha. Do you.. Remember anything?”

 She was hoping that their brains were the same. But that didn’t make sense (not that any of it did) since she didn’t have Inuyasha’s memories or anything. If Kagome thought back, it was all her and not Inuyasha inside her head. It was why she remembered her test and not him. 

 “No, I fucking don’t remember a thing.” He sighed ruefully while she worried Inuyasha’s lip. “Give me your notes.” She dug them out and handed them over. “How long until your exam?”

 “Hour and a half.”

 “Good. I need a quiet place.”

 Leading him to the place she liked to sit and read, she watched as Inuyasha read over all her notes. He didn’t take the full time either, shutting the notebook when he was done and getting to his feet… her feet. “What are you doing?”

 “I’m done. Where’s the exam?”

 “Brooke’s hall, room 329. Inuyasha… I don’t think you understand…”

 “Yeah, yeah, I got it, this exam is important. I’ll try and get you at least a C, alright.”

 Kagome’s body was already moving towards the exam spot while she followed behind in his body. Which was interesting since Inuyasha’s body had longer legs than hers; making it a lot easier to keep up and speed pass. Instead of struggling to keep up, she struggled not to leave her body behind. Inuyasha only stopped to ask for her ID before strutting her body into her exam. She watched from the door, slapping a hand to her forehead when Inuyasha asked the person next to him for a pencil. She was sure the strange look they passed her body was due to her never coming unprepared for class.

 The test was passed out and the heart in Inuyasha’s chest raced. Inuyasha didn’t know this, but her entire college career hinged on this test. This one and everything she was ever graded on. The scholarship she got was fat on funds and prestige. If her grades slipped past a 3.8 GPA, Kagome would be stripped of her funds and have no means for her education.

 It hadn’t been more than thirty minutes since the test landed in front of her body when Inuyasha folded up his test, passed the borrowed pencil back with a smile, and handed in the test. He continued to strut Kagome’s body around and past her as she waited. She was hoping he would spill but he said nothing. “Well?”

 “Like I said, at least a C.”

 “Inuyasha!!”

 “Relax. I got you an A.”

 “An A. You can’t possibly know that! This isn’t funny Inuyasha!!”

 He was chuckling. Making her body make an ugly sound especially from a woman. “It’s a little funny. I mean, how long did you study for this only to have me take it for you?”

 “Inuyasha!” She cried, pushing large fists that she wasn’t used to into the corners of her eyes.

 “Hey! I said no crying in my body!!!”

 “Kagome?”

 She turned at her name, instantly forgetting and even calling out, “Hojo?” Before Inuyasha used her body to slap a hand to Inuyasha’s mouth. But it was too late; Hojo was eyeing them both curiously. 

 “Do I know you?” Hojo asked Inuyasha’s body. 

 Kagome pulled back from the hand on her mouth and thrusted a hand to the back of her head; awkward and embarrassed. Neither emotion was ever displayed by the real Inuyasha that she’d ever seen. “No. I mean yes. Sort of?”

 “I’ve told her, I mean him, a lot about you, Hoji.”

 “Hojo,” she tried as a cough. 

 Inuyasha coughed too and hoped to cover up his mistake. “I mean Hojo.”

 “Are you sick, Kagome? You don’t seem like yourself?”

 Hojo was still looking them both over and Kagome didn’t get it. She also didn’t get the weird smell entering Inuyasha’s nose. It was putrid like old sweat. Was that how Inuyasha’s nose worked? He could smell things like sweat? Kagome watched as her body looked over at her and winked, then moved closer to Hojo.

 “I’m fine, thank you for asking.” She was happy with that response but not with how close Inuyasha was getting her body to Hojo, who just stood there and watched her body too intensely. “So… what are you up to?”

 “Um… I’m just… I was heading to an exam and wanted to stop by to see how you did?” That was Hojo for you, so sweet and caring. “I know you were nervous about this one. How did you do? You finished up early; is that good?”

 Inuyasha pushed a fake laugh out of her mouth and Kagome stared at him hard. “Oh, it was no big deal in the end. My friend Kag… I mean Inuyasha helped me out a lot.”

 “Oh? You’re Inuyasha?” Crap, she had spoken to Hojo often about Inuyasha and how he was the bain of her existence. Hojo leaned into her body’s ear but she could hear every word with Inuyasha’s ears. “I thought you said he was a selfish asshole? And you never mentioned he was a…  hanyou .”

 There was disgust in Hojo’s tone. That made both Kagome’s angry but the one in Inuyasha’s body was the one to react. “You have a problem with Hanyous?” She asked as darkly as she could while stepping up to Hojo. 

 “Oh uh... Nnnno, NO! I don’t have a problem…”

 Even if she hadn’t heard him a second ago, Kagome knew he was lying. His heart was racing and his scent had increased. He was sweating a lot right now. “Liar. You don’t like Hanyous? What did they ever do to you, huh? Inuya… I mean Kagome is half Miko, do you find her disgusting too?”

 “That’s different! She can control her powers. And she doesn’t…”

 “She doesn’t what?!” She screamed, hearing Inuyasha’s voice instead of her own.

 “She doesn’t look like a half-breed.”

 Hojo’s eyes flicked up to Inuyasha’s ears on top of Kagome’s head. And she saw red. “Stay away from Kagome.” She pointed a clawed finger in Hojo’s face for emphasis.

 He dared to look around her to her body behind. Kagome turned to her body and grabbed her arm to pull them away. Inuyasha was looking smug but it quickly turned to concern, putting a hand on her back and pushing her the rest of the way out of the building until they were alone in the cold afternoon air. The sun was hazy behind thin clouds and a breeze made it even colder but she still felt hot!

 “Kagome, breathe.”

 Buckled over, she had her big clawed hands on her knees; taking big gulps of air and still seeing red. “That… that jerk….”

 “I know, I know but you need to calm down.”

 She looked up to find her face frowning down at her, Inuyasha keeping a hand on his body’s back to try and calm her down. “I didn’t know he was like that!”

 “You’d be surprised… a lot of people are.”

 “I’m not!”

 Kagome’s lips twisted into a smile. “I noticed.”

 It took a while but she was finally starting to calm down and feel in control again. Standing back up at full, she looked down at her body in wonder. “You don’t feel anything except anger? What’s up with that?”

 He shrugged. “That’s the demon. Makes it hard to feel much of anything save for primal instincts. Like anger and lust.”

 “Oh, I see,” Kagome’s head whipped up to look back at her face, “so you’re blaming the demon for actions? That’s lame, Inuyasha.”

 A grimace graced her face as Inuyasha disapproved of her words fully. “Yeah? Everyone else blames 

the demon in me so why can’t I?”

 “Because they’re stupid. And you’re not.” They were silent for a few minutes after that until she had to change the subject. “Hey, do we all smell that bad?”

 Suddenly, Inuyasha had to get away from her; taking off in a fast walk away with her body. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 She could hear it. In his voice and his heart. Her voice and heart. He was lying. “You’re lying! I can hear it!!”

 Inuyasha jumped on her with Kagome’s body; her hand pressed as best as he could get it to his mouth. “Keep that shit to yourself!”

 After a second and some awkwardness, he let her go. “Why?”

 “I don’t want  anyone  knowing that.”

 “Okay… but why?”

 Inuyasha was moving again and she followed without question. “You think people knowing you’re a Hanyou is bad? What if they knew you could hear and smell their lies? Smell what they did an hour ago? Hear their conversations through a wall? Imagine if there were no secrets between you and others; how many people would want to be around you then?”

 She was silent. Because she got it. They were halfway back to the dorm when she spoke again; needing to ask before they were silenced by ‘others’ being around. “Wait… if your nose and ears are this strong, why do you like loud parties?” Inuyasha glanced back, giving her a look with her face. “You don’t like them… you hate them?? Why the heck do you have them then?!”

 They stopped and it was strange towering over her own body but she was pissed. Inuyasha wouldn’t look up at her though, staring off in the distance with her hands in her pockets. “Miroku is the one that wants them and I go along with it. He doesn’t know about my nose and ears and I want to keep it that way.”

 “Then tell him you don’t want to party! What’s the big deal?!”

 “He’s my first friend…”

 “Sango’s my first college friend too but if she wanted…”

 “Not my first college friend.  First friend ever .” Inuyasha used her toe to kick at that ground and keep his attention there instead. “He’s the first person to accept and like me for who I am. I’d do anything for him. Besides, the parties help me blend in, meet people, and have a good time.”

 “You can have a good time with less noise and destruction.” Now Inuyasha looked up at her with a roll of her eyes. “Next time you want quiet comfortable fun, you can come to my room and have it with me.”

 He fought the smile off his face but since it was Kagome’s face, he lost. “That sounds shitastic.”

 She shrugged his big shoulders. “Whatever.” They were moving again and she couldn’t help but sniff the air. “Oh man, you need to shower. You got Hojo’s nervous sweat on you.” She sniffed herself. “Ick. Me too.”

 “You sure know how to pick them, Kags.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 “Nothing,” lie and she was pretty sure she got what he was trying to say, “we’re lucky we don’t reek of Hoji’s urine too.”

 “He deserved it.” Kagome wanted to change the subject; she was starting to feel hot again. “How are we going to do this?”

 “Do what?”

 Out of habit, Inuyasha opened the door to their building’s lobby. Instead of pointing it out, she rushed through while a few people stopped and stared; laughing as they walked away. “Shower?”

 Kagome’s body huffed. “I may not be used to it, but I’m pretty sure I can clean your body, Kagome.”

 Even if she didn’t have Inuyasha’s hearing, she would know that leaving him alone with her body was a bad idea. “Oh no. No, no, no way! I’m not letting you do whatever you please to my body!!”

 In the elevator alone, she felt no worry of being overheard. Inuyasha leaned her body against the back wall of the small box. He looked just like himself with his body language. “You’d like it, trust me.”

 “I don’t!”

 “Guess we can take a shower together?”

 The elevator dinged and her long legs took her off and away from Inuyasha quicker than she was used to. “We can’t do that! It’s against the rules!”

 “People do it all the time.” She glared back at him and he flustered for some reason. “Miroku told me, nothing more!”

 Like she believed that. But he didn’t sound like he was lying. It made her feel a bit better but she still didn’t like the idea. But what other choice did they have? The floor was mostly empty at this point anyway. They went back to Kagome’s room first, running into Sango who was almost out the door; passing the two of them with her suitcase in hand.

 “Sango? Where are you going?!” Her body asked in a panic.

 Sango looked between them but quickly settled on Kagome’s face. “I have plane tickets and a little brother that would be pissed if I didn’t come home as promised. Sorry.”

 She got it but it still sucked. “Do you have anything that could help us?”

 Staring at her blankly, Sango looked at her wearing Inuyasha’s face for a moment before shaking herself free with a small laugh. “Sorry. That’s just so weird. Cause you both still talk like yourselves but with the other’s voice and body.”

 “Sango?”

 “Kaede said, ‘walk a mile in each other’s shoes and appreciate each other’ or something like that.”

 “We already walked a mile and more!” Inuyasha roared with Kagome’s voice.

 Sango shrugged. “Guess you still haven’t learned your lesson then?”

 She left and they flopped, helpless, in her room. After some silent pouting, Kagome got up and went to her dresser; pulling out clothes for her body to put on. Inuyasha left only to return with clothes for her to put on when she was done. 

 They double-checked the bathroom and when it was empty, they started to strip. Kagome stopped Inuyasha with a growl. “No peeking!”

 He rolled her eyes and pulled off all her clothes. She thought it would be awkward to take a shower with a man she barely knew. But she was wrong. It was weirder than anything she’d ever experienced, watching her own body wash itself. 

 She was in a daze when Inuyasha thrusted a bottle in her direction. “Use that on my hair please.”

 “Yeah… sure…”

 “Hey,” he knocked a gentle fist to her head, “what are you thinking about?”

 “I was just…” she froze, Inuyasha picking up her loofa and putting body wash on it, “whoa, I should do that.”

 She was okay with him washing her hair but rubbing all over her body? It was too… weird! 

 “Calm down, Kagome. I’ll be gentle.” She ripped the loofa from her own hand and started on her front. “I don’t think this is achieving what you think it is. Cause now, I’m still touching your body.”

 “Yes. But you can’t feel it!”

 “No, you’re right. I can just feel it on your body instead of my hand.” She washed her thighs and decided then and there she would just have to wash her nether regions when she was back in her body again. “I wonder if we’ll remember what our bodies did when we’re back in them?”

 “What do you mean?!” She shrieked a little too loudly.

 “I mean,” she stood up straight and looked down at her face, “will I remember what it feels like to wash your body when I’m back in mine?”

 She forced her body to turn around and started washing her back. “Stop it. Stop talking like that. It’s gross.”

 “Why is it gross?!” He said with some serious anger behind it.

 “Because it’s my voice and face saying it! It’s like I’m hitting on myself or something!”

 The tension in Kagome’s body’s shoulders disappeared instantly with her words. “Oh... I see.”

 Inuyasha didn’t refute her claim that he was hitting on her but she ignored it and focused on Inuyasha’s hair. There was a lot of it and it was thick. Not much different from her own hair but she also had his ears to worry about. “How do I wash these?”

 She was pointing to the triangles on top of her head and Inuyasha gestured for her to crouch down. “Here. Let me.”

 It felt pretty good; Inuyasha was rubbing his ears gently. She could tell from this that his ears were really sensitive and she didn’t mean just from sounds. The massage Inuyasha was giving them was nearly putting her to sleep.

 Clean and soggy, they sat in Inuyasha’s room and Kagome took in all the smells it held. There were a lot but mostly faint. She mostly smelled Inuyasha, knowing it was him from her own personal memory of his scent. 

 “So you never answered my question.”

 Inuyasha looked up from whatever he was doing on his phone while she spun in his desk’s chair.

 “Do I smell that bad too?”

 A grin twisted on Kagome’s face. “Smell yourself now and find out.”

 She had already. But they’d just showered now. “I smell good now.”

 “As you always do.”

 “I do?”

 He nodded and she felt a small flush on her cheeks for some reason. But she shook it away with other thoughts. “You also never told me how you did on my exam?”

 “Yes, I did. You got an A.”

 “You  can’t know that! You spent an hour studying!” She dropped Inuyasha’s head to the back of the chair and watched the ceiling spin. “I studied all semester for that class.”

 “Your notes showed that. I wouldn’t have done so well if you weren’t so… dedicated.”

 Inuyasha had revealed a lot about himself to her today. He didn’t have a choice in the matter but she still felt it was only fair to tell him some things too. A few secrets. “I’m only able to afford this school because of a scholarship that requires me to keep a 3.8 GPA. If it drops below that, I’m out on my ass.”

 “Your ass is too nice to be tossed on.” She looked up to glare at him but he was too busy grinning to be phased. “You have nothing to worry about, Kagome. I have a photographic memory.”

 Kagome nearly fell out of the chair; she sat up so fast. “You what?!”

 “How do you think I got into this college? And how I stayed in it?”

 “Sports scholarship?” Inuyasha frowned with Kagome’s face and she giggled. “I hadn’t thought about it really. I just thought you took easy courses or something? That’s really cool! I wish I had that!!”

 “No you don’t,” he groaned, “because once you see something, you can never forget it.”

 “There are some things, some of us, never want to forget.” She said nothing more. A secret she wasn’t ready to reveal. 

 “Looks like we’re stuck in these bodies for the night,” Inuyasha added, interrupting the silence. “You wanna sleep here or in your bed?”

 “Huh?”

 “You didn’t trust me alone in your body for a shower. I figured you wouldn’t trust me alone in it all night long?” He smirked. “And it’s been a stressful day on your body. I could use a release and some relaxation. Or rather, you could. I think I’ll just see what fingering feels like…”

 “Okay! Okay, you’re right! And don’t you dare masturbate my body!!!”

 It felt weird, sleeping in a small bed with her body. Mostly because she felt the urge to snuggle but that was a therapy session she could do without later in life.

  Without a clue of what else to do, Kagome was packing. She was expected at home today and with waking up, still in Inuyasha’s body, she wasn’t sure what to do. 

 Bag on her bed that was half-filled with her clothes (that wouldn’t fit Inuyasha’s body so she just felt stupid) Kagome’s body rushed into the room with Inuyasha’s phone in his hand. “Answer this.”

 She glanced at the screen and saw the name ‘Kikyo’ on it. “Kikyo? You know her?”

 “Just answer the damn phone already!”

 Doing as told, she sighed and accepted the call. “Hello, Kikyo.”

 Inuyasha glared at her but she just glared back and silently berated his anger with a ‘what?!’. “Hey, Inuyasha. I was hoping to catch you before you left for the break?”

 “Oh uh... Yeah, you caught me. What’s up?”

 Inuyasha rolled her eyes and Kagome decided to ignore him. “I was thinking it would be nice to get lunch? Are you free today?”

 Pressing a hand over the receiver, Kagome whispered to Inuyasha. “She wants to get lunch today.” He nodded while she shook her head ‘no’. “I have to go home!” Inuyasha pointed harshly at the phone. “Uh.. oh… sorry. I’m just checking my schedule.” She pressed her hand to the phone again. “I  have  to go home! We have to go together!”

 He took the phone from her and held it away from them, getting in her face. Which would have been more effective if he was in his body instead of hers. “I helped you with your exam. Help me with this.” He softened quickly. “Please, Kags.”

 She rolled her eyes and took the phone back. “Kikyo? Yeah, I can do it today. How about we meet somewhere?”

 “There’s this nice sushi place on campus?”

 Kagome was shaking Inuyasha’s head but remembered Kikyo couldn’t see her. “Ah.. no, I don’t like sushi.” She remembered very clearly how Inuyasha had reacted to sushi back when they all ate together at the beginning of the year. It had not gone well at all. Kagome blamed that night on why she and Inuyasha started being frenemies. “How about the ramen place on fifth?”

 Inuyasha was staring at her with Kagome’s blue eyes. Was she always that intimidating? No, Inuyasha had to be doing something different with her eyes or something. The way he had them locked on her wasn’t helping; turning from him to finish the phone call. “Sounds good,” even through the phone, it didn’t sound like Kikyo was happy, “see you in an hour.”

 She handed back the phone but Inuyasha grabbed her hand with it and held her still. “If you don’t screw this up, I’ll go and make nice with your family. But if you fuck things up with Kikyo, I’ll get a tattoo on your forehead.”

 Careful with his claws this time, Kagome got Inuyasha’s hand back from the death hold he had on it. “Okay, I get it. I’ll make you look really good, I promise. Geez, you really like Kikyo, huh?”

 It was funny how Inuyasha did the same things while in her body. Like crossing his arms over his chest when he wanted to protect himself. She could hear his heart and breath now though and it was picking up a little like he was uncomfortable or scared. “She’s the only person to show me interest like this so, yeah I like her I guess.”

 “Wow, calm down.” She said sarcastically. “I don’t want my body to stink again.”

 She laughed while Inuyasha bristled. “I’m not good with emotions and your body is a cluster fuck. I’ve never thought about my feelings like this before. No one has ever asked me either so cut me some fucking slack.”

 Kagome was still laughing, the sound strange because it wasn’t hers and she wasn’t used to hearing Inuyasha’s laugh. “Fine. But… a lunch?”

 “What’s wrong with that? She only had time for lunch but she wanted to see me!”

 “If you say so…”

 “You know what, I don’t trust you. You’re going to fuck this up. I’m coming with you.”

 Inuyasha was already starting to dress her body. “What? You can’t bring another girl on a date!”

 “Sure I can! It’ll make her jealous which will work in my favor! Kikyo probably thinks no one else wants me and she has no competition.”

 She placed a hand on her body’s shoulder but Inuyasha ignored her. “Do you hear yourself?”

 Inuyasha shrugged her off. “No, I hear you. Go get dressed!”

 She left him to do as told, not sure of this meeting at all.

  “Whoa.” 

 They stopped just inside the door of the restaurant and Inuyasha twisted Kagome’s head back to look at his. “What?”

 “I see why you like this place. It smells amazing!”

 He smirked but it dropped quickly, grabbing and pulling her the rest of the way inside. They quickly spotted Kikyo; who stood and waved him down, only to frown at the sight of Kagome with him. She had to put on her game face. No part of her liked this and Kagome told herself it was because of Inuyasha’s words about not being liked by others. The gnawing in her chest was about his obvious lack of self-confidence and settling for Kikyo. Nothing else. 

 “Hey, babe.” Kikyo greeted and Kagome took a beat to realize she was talking to her/Inuyasha. 

 “Hey… honey…” She passed a glance at Inuyasha who glared back at her for her slip up. “I mean… hello.” Inuyasha slid her body into the booth Kikyo picked, sitting between them which made Kikyo frown even more. “Oh uh… this is my neighbor, Kagome. She and I are… friends and she…. Wanted to meet you?”

 They really should have discussed a plan of some sort. She was not prepared for this. 

 Kikyo didn’t miss a beat, turning to Kagome with a plastic smile. Could Inuyasha see how fake it was or was that the demon sight she currently had? “Hello, Higurashi-san. We have a few classes together, don’t we?”

 They did? She didn’t remember Kikyo in any of her classes and the look on Kagome’s face told her Inuyasha was shocked. Then mad, like she should have mentioned it or something. Can’t mention what you don’t remember. “Oh, yeah, we did, didn’t we?”

 “Defense against the Darkness 111 and we were at that offense vs defense seminar last month. Your reiki is very impressive.”

 “Uuuuhhhh thanks.”

 She needed to redirect the conversation because Inuyasha knew nothing about Miko practices. “So, Kikyo, how were your exams? I’m sure you did well.”

 Kikyo looked shocked she asked. Maybe Inuyasha wasn’t this polite? He wasn’t polite to her for sure. “Yes, thank you. How about you?”

 “Ah, you know me.”

 Did she? Kikyo just kind of nodded and turned her attention back to Kagome. “Say how did you create that barrier? No one else could manage it and I must admit I still can’t.”

 Kikyo laughed and it made things more uncomfortable. Kagome’s eyes danced to Inuyasha but what could she do to help in this? “I uh… I practice and study a lot. It’s all I do actually.”

 “Oh? That sounds rough!” Kikyo said but the sympathy in it was faked.

 “Yeah. I don’t party or have fun. I’m pretty pathetic actually.” Inuyasha laughed with her body and Kikyo laughed with her.

 “Aren’t you being a little hard on yourself?” Kagome asked, grinding Inuyasha’s fangs together. 

 Kagome’s shoulder’s shrugged. “Am I? This is the first date I’ve been on all year and it’s not even mine!”

 They both laughed while she seethed. Inuyasha was right but she didn’t like that he knew that. How did he know that, anyway? Something to ask later, trying again to direct the conversation back to Inuyasha and Kikyo. “So… I was surprised you called. Are you not heading out of town for the break?”

 “I am. I just wanted to see you one more time before I left.”

 Kikyo placed a hand on his and rubbed the back of it. But there was something about her tone and heartbeat that bothered her. If it were her, Kagome’s heart would be skipping from touching the guy she liked. It skipped whenever Inuyasha touched her and she didn’t even like him! But Kikyo was calm.

 Kagome’s foot kicked hers under the table and she woke up. “Oh, uh, yeah I wanted to see you too. Thanks for calling and asking me out.”

 “Of course. Since you never call me.”

 “I’ll.. uh… fix that. I promise.”

 The waitress appeared. Kikyo ordered a salad while she ordered ramen. Inuyasha did too. They ate with gentle conversation and she did her best to flirt with Kikyo. Inuyasha passed her the other half of his bowl when he was full and she ate it without issue. They had already discovered (last night) that their appetites changed for the body they were in.

 Now lunch was over but there was a bigger issue. Kagome had been holding it in all morning but now she was about to pop and couldn’t any longer. Getting to Inuyasha’s feet suddenly, she grabbed onto Kagome as she pulled out of the booth. “I need a minute with Kagome. Be right back.”

 Inuyasha fought against her hold as soon as they were out of sight. “What the fuck?! This looks really bad, Kagome!!”

 “I know, I’m sorry but I have to…” she stopped and folded into Kagome’s ear, “I have to pee.”

 “So?”

 “I’ve never… I don’t know how to do it with your… equipment.”

 He chuckled and pushed Inuyasha’s body back. “It’s the same as yours, you just have to stand and aim.”

 “Oh god. I have to touch it?!”

 Inuyasha had ‘washed himself’ for her yesterday. And that had been all sorts of confusing. This was going to be worse. “Just don’t let the size freak you out.”

 That was all he gave her before sauntering back to their table. She took two deep breaths and pushed into the men’s room. Regardless, she couldn’t hold it any longer. Which made it easier in the end, staring at Inuyasha’s member in his hands and not focusing on anything else. She had thought he was just being a jerk but… he was kinda right about his size. Guess that was why it felt so heavy? And she thought it was just because she had something swinging between her legs for the first time? Kagome would never know; this was the only body other than hers she would ever inhabit. Hopefully.

 The heightened senses didn’t help either (the scent of the small room making her feel sick) and she was quick to get out of there.

 She didn’t know if leaving ‘Kagome’ alone with Kikyo for long was a good idea so she was as fast as she could move about it all. She focused on the table, finding she could focus her hearing too; which was cool. Until she heard the conversation being had in her absence. 

 “You already have strong Miko powers. You don’t need Inuyasha for your final. I do.”

 Kikyo was talking about finals? They all had a senior project due before graduation; a show of strength mixed with comprehension and skill. Kagome hadn’t come up with anything yet but Kikyo’s involved Inuyasha? She didn’t understand how and by the look Inuyasha had on ‘Kagome’s’ face, he didn’t know about it beforehand.

 He was pushing her body out of the booth in a hurry when he caught sight of her. Knocking into her as she passed, Inuyasha left her behind to figure out what the hell to do next. So she stomped up to the table and Kikyo gave her a look of pure innocence. “I think your friend is jealous of us.”

 “H… she is? We’re just friends.”

 “KA...INUYASHA LET’S GO!”

 Her voice sounded pained and no part of her wanted to argue. So she dug into the wallet Inuyasha made her put in his back pocket; throwing some money on the table. “I’ll… uh call you.”

 Inuyasha had ‘Kagome’s’ hands in her pockets and a pissed look on her face. “You got tickets to your house or something? Let’s get the hell out of here.”

  Inuyasha hadn’t said a word since they left the restaurant. She sat across from her body as it silently rocked on the train. It was another hour until they reached home and a thirty-minute drive to her house. So there really wasn’t a lot of time. 

 “So…. I should probably go over who is who. They’ll expect you to know that.”

 “Why not just tell them the truth? Would save us a lot of grief.” He muttered to the window. 

 “NO!” Kagome’s head slowly turned from her outburst, Inuyasha had her eyes squinted in disapproval of her tone, volume, or general displeasure with her for some reason. It was hard to tell. “They can’t know. They can’t know any of this.”

 “Why the hell not,” he growled and this time, it was pretty scary. 

 “Because… if they knew my well being was at risk? My education? My body?! Add in that a faculty member did this to us and they will either force me to come back home or guilt me into it.”

 “Your family cares that much?”

 Confused, she tilted Inuyasha’s head at him. “Yeah. Yours doesn’t?” He said nothing, going back to his window and she couldn’t take it anymore. “Yash… what happened? Did Kikyo say something to you? I heard her talking about her senior project…”

 “Did you know?” She really didn’t have a clue and shook her head to show that. “Fuck I miss my body. Then I’d know if you were lying right now.”

 Thinking it over, she took her body’s hand and placed it on Inuyasha’s body’s wrist. “Here. Ask me anything.”

 The face he wore, even though it was her face she still didn’t know what it meant. Kagome didn’t think she had ever made that face but Inuyasha still squeezed her body’s fingers around his body’s wrist to feel her pulse. “What is your senior project on?”

 “Mine? I haven’t picked anything yet. Buuut this body switch thing would definitely work for it!” 

 She giggled (sounding super weird from Inuyasha’s body) and he smiled -briefly. “Did you know there’s a way to turn a half-demon into either a full human or demon?”

 Nodding, she still wore a frown on the subject. “There are theories but no one has actually done it.”

 “Why not?”

 She sighed. “Because it’s dangerous. Half-demons are rare so it’s hard to find willing subjects.”

 “What if I was willing?” She blinked in her body’s serious face for a few seconds, listening to the heart beating in her body’s chest. “Would you try it on me?”

 Kagome had to force herself to remain still so Inuyasha could feel her pulse. When she really wanted to rip free and smack him. “Are you nuts?! Why would you want to change who you are?!”

 “You’ve been in my body for less than twenty-four hours. You have no clue what it’s like being me!”

 “That may be true but you’re perfect the way you are!”

 “Perfect?!” He spat back. “I’m the very definition of imperfect! Don’t pretend you know what it’s like to be me!”

 “Don’t I?” Inuyasha still held the wrist between them while they stared into each other’s eyes. “You pretend the loud music and crowds don’t bother you all so you can make your best friend happy! You hide your ability to hear and smell falsehoods so no one feels uncomfortable around you. And you work so hard to control yourself so that you never hurt anyone; you’re a Saint Inuyasha. Yet, there are still people like Hojo that look down on you. It makes me sick.”

 Slowly, Inuyasha let go of his body’s wrist and sat back. She did the same; eyes still glued to one another. “And people like Kikyo. She wanted to use me for her senior project and turn me into a full human.”

 She was so disgusted that she felt sick. And hot. “That stupid bitch.”

 “Careful. I’m starting to rub off on you.” Kagome still felt warm all over and it was only getting worse. “Seriously though, you need to calm down.” She was struggling, imagining Kikyo asking Inuyasha to become human over and over. “Kagome…. breath.” Hands were on her knees and she took a deep breath. “Think about something else. Tell me about your family. Everything I need to know to be you.”

 “My mother…” she said releasing the breath she took and held, “stays home and helps my grandfather with the family shrine.”

 “Wait… you live in a shrine?”

 “Inuyasha now is not the time to push me.”

 “I just… I didn’t know that about you, that’s all. Must have been… tough.”

 “People made jokes and assumptions but I got over it.” She opened her eyes for the first time in several minutes. Her body was hunched over with her hands on Inuyasha’s body’s knees. It was oddly comforting to look into her own blue eyes. “My dad passed away when I was four.”

 “I’m sorry.”

 He was sincere. Maybe he had a close family member die too because she could see it in her eyes that he was currently using. All she could give him in return was a nod of understanding. “My younger brother Souta and his wife will be there.”

 “Ooooh, younger brother that’s already married? That’s rough.”

 “What are you talking about?”

 “He’s married while you're in school?” He said with a strange look on his face. 

 “He’s where he wants to be in life and so am I.”

 “Okay, but I’ll be prepared for some sibling rivalry.”

 She shook it off and kept going. “He has a little girl, Mei. She’s only seven months though. I hope you like kids because she’ll be all over me… I mean you as soon as we get there.”

 “Great.”

 “Um… I’m not really sure what else will come up. So I don’t know how to prepare you. What should we say about us?”

 Inuyasha sat back, taking Kagome’s hands off Inuyasha’s knees. “Just say we’re dating.”

 “Oh no.”

 “Would that be a problem for them? You dating a Hanyou?”

 Inuyasha was looking out the window again while she was trying not to get angry. “It’s not that. I’ve just… never brought someone home before. I’m not sure how they’ll take it. Especially when I have to tell them later that it was all a lie or that we broke up.”

 He was silent, Kagome’s blue eyes searching her borrowed face and making her feel weird all over again. “Worry about that later. For now, saying we’re dating makes it easier. If someone says something I don’t know about you can jump in and pretend I told you. You can cover me.”

 It all made such good sense that she felt no fear or worry when they arrived. Inuyasha’s heart was pounding though. It skipped every time someone pulled him in for a hug. She was sure it was weird hugging strangers like family but it didn’t seem like something that would be terrifying. Yet that would be how she described Inuyasha’s reaction. 

 He was scared. 

 It got worse when baby Mei was handed his way. She cooed in his arms for about four seconds then suddenly reached for her. Mei was reaching out to her like normal only she looked nothing like herself. Kagome’s body sat beside her on the couch while she sat inside Inuyasha’s. 

 He didn’t fight her, letting the seven-month-old come to her; a relative stranger was now holding her niece but she was never more excited. Her tiny heart beat wildly as she stretched up on her toes and grabbed Inuyasha’s body’s ears. 

 “So,” Souta sat down next to her body and wrapped a brotherly arm around her shoulders, “are you two dating or something?”

 “Uh yeah.” “Something like that.” They said on top of each other. 

 “Good. I never liked that Koga guy. What happened to him? You kept talking him up; saying you wanted us to meet him?” 

 This was something she really should have told Inuyasha about on the train but she had hoped it wouldn’t come up. “He uh,” Souta looked to her expectantly, “he isn’t a problem anymore.”

 “Good. Thank you, Inuyasha-san.”

 Their mother called for Souta from the kitchen and he rose quickly, leaving them alone with Mei (who was pulling on an ear now). “Why aren’t you being called to the kitchen right now?”

 She focused on getting the baby to not pull so hard while Inuyasha moved her body a little close to his. “Normally, she would but I guess with you here I’m on baby duty.”

 A quick beat of silence and the elephant in the room trumpeted. “So… who’s Koga?”

 “Uh… no one.” She glanced his way, her body tilted away so Inuyasha could look at her with disbelief. “I met him last year. We dated a little. But… then I found out he was dating five other girls at the same time. He even tried to use the fact that he’s a wolf demon as an excuse; saying he was the leader of the pack and had responsibilities….”

 “That’s true actually. You’re lucky he even dated out of his pack at all.” Inuyasha added but his voice didn’t sound like he was as okay with it as he would like to be.

 “I wouldn’t say I was lucky at all.”

 “Did you… really like him?”

 There was something to Inuyasha’s tone; she wondered if she would have heard it if she was in her body. Kagome forced herself not to listen to more; his heart and breath or even smell him as she shook the sound of his… her voice out of her borrowed head. “I… did… I think. It was nice to have someone. But I refuse to be used by anyone.”

 “AH, so cheating is a deal-breaker for you? Good to know.”

 She chuckled, Mei bouncing on her wide chest as Inuyasha’s body laughed. “Isn’t everyone?”

 “You’d be surprised.”

 He didn’t say more and she didn’t press. They were called for dinner and Mei didn’t release Inuyasha’s body until her mother held out her hands for the child. She had missed her family and even though it was like she was an outsider in her own family, Kagome still didn’t feel left out. Not that she ever expected her family to make anyone feel like that, but she expected to feel something like that. Being in someone else’s body was weird in many ways and she missed her life all the more being around her family. 

 Dinner was delicious as expected and the conversation was pretty light and happy. Until…. 

 “So Inuyasha, are you and Kagome going to visit your family during the break too?” Her mother asked, looking right at her.

 “Uh…”

 “Inuyasha doesn't have any family.” Kagome’s body answered for her.

 The room got quiet as all eyes landed on her; on Inuyasha. “Really?” Souta asked and she nodded.

 They didn’t press, of course, but now she was regretting not getting to know Inuyasha before they came here like she had forced him to get to know her. Why hadn't she even asked? It was weird that he agreed to come here so easily, that he was hanging around campus during the break wasn’t it? Miroku had left as soon as break started (she wasn’t even sure Miroku knew their bodies were switched) and yet, Inuyasha was around like it was any other day. But she never asked.

 Normally, she could say it was none of her business but this time; she couldn’t get away with such an excuse, could she?

  Her mom thought it was funny; putting her in the same room as her body. Inuyasha didn’t put up the appropriate amount of fuss for Kagome to be satisfied either, glaring as her body walked around her room and explored. “You could have demanded I sleep in the guest room or something.”

 “Why? You want to keep ‘watch’ on me in your body, don’t you?”

 That was true. Although, she was starting to care less and less about that. “It sends the wrong message if you just willingly sleep in here with me!”

 “Like what?” Inuyasha turned and the smile on Kagome’s lips told her, she wasn’t going to like what he said. “That the two of us are deeply in love and have slept together so many times now that doing it at your house is no big deal?”

 Nailed that on the head. “Yeah!”

 “I’ll make a fuzz at breakfast tomorrow. Happy?” He flopped to her bed, a twin, and sat back on her hands. “You have a nice family, Kags. And a happy life.”

 She sat next to him and watched his face. “And you? What about your family? I should have asked before we came here, sorry. I hope I’m not keeping you from them…”

 “You don’t need to worry. It’s like I told your family. I have no one.” That wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the truth either, she could hear and smell it no matter how hard she tried not to. And he knew that too, clearing ‘Kagome’s’ throat and shifting on the bed. “Geez, this is worse than some rom-com with a fake dating plot.” When she eyed him curiously, he caved quickly. “My mom made me watch them with her when I was a kid. She… died. When I was eight.”

 There was no thinking, she just grabbed him; wrapping long arms around a small body was so strange but she shoved that away for now and squeezed him tight. “Kagome… can’t breathe…”

 “Oh sorry,” she loosened but didn’t let go, “I’m so sorry.”

 ‘Kagome’ rubbed ‘Inuyasha’s’ arm and tried to get her to let go. “It’s fine. Would you quit turning me into a pansy? First, it’s crying and now it’s hugging?”

 “Being weak from time to time doesn’t make you a pansy.”

 “Yeah… well… I still don’t like it…” He pushed on her a bit but she didn’t move far. Because her body was starting to emit that strange smell again. “Seriously though, how do you live like this?”

 “Live like what?”

 “This… frustrated?!”

 She fell back to look at herself and Inuyasha pointed to her body. It took her a few seconds but she understood in time. Kagome felt hot under the collar and it had nothing to do with the angry demon in her body. “Oh god.”

 ‘Kagome’ flopped back to the bed completely, laying next to her while she tried not to melt from her embarrassment. “I wish you would at least let me ‘rub one’ out or something. This is just ridiculous. Is it like this all the time?”

 “I’m NOT going to tell you that!!!”

 “I would lose my mind if I was this turned on all the time. This is more than needing to masturbate, you need to get laid!”

 Forgetting her new strength, she slapped ‘Kagome’s’ thigh hard and Inuyasha shot up in pain. “It’s not like this all the time! You’re doing something weird to my body!!”

 He was rubbing the pain out of ‘Kagome’s’ leg and growling. “It’s not my fault….” Inuyasha paused and then looked over at her. She looked anywhere else. “Or is it?”

 “Wh… what are you talking about?”

 Inuyasha made ‘Kagome’s’ face smirk and he turned into her to stare her down. “You smell that?” She shrugged, hoping to play whatever he said next off. “You think I don’t know? That’s my body you’re in; I know you smell your body getting turned on. And I know exactly what it smells like.”

 “Are you trying to tell me that every girl you’ve ever turned on smells the same?” She said with a huff, trying to change the subject to something that would make her mad so she could stop the pounding her blood was doing.

 “No. I’m saying I’ve smelt you, Kagome’s, arousal before. A few times actually.”

 Her jaw dropped and she glared over at her body’s smirking face. “You have NOT!!”

 Inuyasha chuckled with her body and Kagome’s heart started to skip around. “I don’t need my senses; I know you’re lying. There’s no point really. I’ve turned you on before a few times. Took me a while to understand. But, Kagome, you smell... Really fucking sweet when you’re horny.” 

 She was doing everything she could to not look at her body while they talked about this. It was all too weird. How could Inuyasha talk like this to his own body? She was busy having her brain in a spin and stop the blood that was moving south when air hit one of the dog ears on her head. It sent a shock wave through her body so strong, she almost slipped off the bed and to the floor.

 “Wwwwhhat the hell?!” She grabbed the ear too late, her body was already sitting back down.

 To make matters worse, Inuyasha’s penis was now pressing against the inside of his jeans in a painful manner. And Kagome thought going to the bathroom was weird now she had a boner. “You know how I always get so pissed when you blow in my ear? This is why!”

 She was pressing on the appendage and it was only getting angry inside her pants. “Wh… this happens every time someone blows in your ear?”

 “No. It happens every time  you  blow in my ear! Couple it with your fucking scent…” ‘Kagome’s’ eyes had a look to them and a color that she had never seen before. It was crazy, looking at herself turned on like this. 

 It made her wonder what ‘Inuyasha’ looked like right now?

 Standing abruptly, she pushed Inuyasha’s body to leave the room. As it was, the demon wanted to devour ‘Kagome’. “I need the bathroom.”

 “You better not jack off. If I can’t get relief, neither can you!”

 Really, that was the last thing on her mind. This body didn’t want her to find relief with her hand.

 They didn’t speak when she came back, just got into bed and turned off the lights. But laying there, so close together, with ‘Inuyasha’ still hard and ‘Kagome’s’ scent still strongly present, it was impossible to fall asleep. 

 “What if…” ‘Inuyasha’s’ voice cut through the silence and she tried to focus on the sound instead of the origin, “what if we… helped each other.”

 “What do you mean?”

 The lift to ‘Kagome’s’ voice told her, Inuyasha already knew exactly what she meant. “I mean… if we… gave each other a release then it wouldn’t be so… wrong.”

 Inuyasha rolled her body onto its side and stared at the side of his own face. “Kags, I could get this body off myself and it would be far from ‘wrong’. If you want to touch each other then just say so.”

 “That’s not it,” she said in a rush of words, “I was just thinking that if I touch you and you touch me then it would be more like masturbating, right?”

 “It would be better than masturbating.”

 “Look I… I don’t need you to do anything to me. Male ejaculation is pretty straight forward. But I know what I like and I don’t want you fumbling around for an hour…”

 He huffed. “Oh please…”

 “Quick and efficient. We get in and get out.”

 Suddenly, her body was caging her in. Inuyasha had her body looming over her with a hand on either side of her head. “Why don’t we just have sex?”

 “What? No! That would be too weird for me, seriously.”

 “Having sex with me would be too weird for you?” He said with a growl.

 She shoved him back, an easy feat with the bodies they were in. “No, it would be  weird having sex with myself!!!” Inuyasha seemed to understand and didn’t press the issue. So she turned and leaned over her body instead. “So?”

 “Oh? You want my permission? It’s your body!”

 “Okay, okay…” she took deep breaths to try and steady herself, “take your pants off and get on your… my belly.” He didn’t ask; just did as she said quickly. She made Inuyasha put her body in pants and a t-shirt to sleep when normally she wore a lot less to bed. Kagome tried to ignore the awkwardness of it all as Inuyasha panted excitedly; ‘Kagome’s’ heart pounding in her chest as Inuyasha spread her body’s legs and waited. She closed her eyes and that helped a lot. “Shhhh… someone is going to hear you!”

 He growled back at her. “It’s not my fault you’ve been holding out for as long as you have! I’m not being that loud, it’s just your hearing!!”

 She wondered how much of that was true? She could hear the sounds all through the house and no one had stirred since they started this. A few pumps like that and her body shuddered with an orgasm. Laying on her back, Kagome considered going outside on her roof. At least there, she wouldn’t have to smell her body’s juices while Inuyasha’s penis danced in irritation from lack of use. When a hand slipped into her briefs, she closed her eyes and said nothing. The rubbing felt good. Inuyasha knew what he liked too, after all. But then Inuyasha started whispering in her ear.

 “Let’s just have sex.”

 “No.”

 “Come on Kags. Think about it.”

 “I did already. No.”

 The healing hand on her shaft left and she groaned. Even more when Inuyasha had her body straddling his. “You are missing the big point here. Think about the learning experience! No one has ever had this chance to learn about someone else’s body like this!”

 “With good reason, I’m sure.”

 “Come on. It could be how we get our bodies back!”

 She cracked open an eye but regretted it; feeling a bit nauseous at the sight of herself mounting herself. “How does that work in your head?!”

 “Kaede said we needed to get to know each other. What better way to know one another than by fucking?”

 “No way she expected us to have sex! That’s messed up!!”

 “Then push me off,” Kagome told Inuyasha’s body to do it but it wouldn’t move. “You could do it with ease. But you don’t want to. You want to have sex with me.”

 “I don’t want to have sex with myself…”

 “Stop thinking about the outer appearance. I haven’t thought of you as myself since the damn train ride.” He leaned over and she couldn’t take her eyes off his blue ones. “You’re still you and I’m still me. No matter what body you’re in. And I want to fuck you, Kagome.”

 “You… you do?”

 He nodded and then sat back; pulling her shirt off her body in a shift and sexy movement. Kagome closed her eyes again though. Inuyasha might be able to get over seeing himself getting laid by himself but she couldn’t. “I love your breasts.”

 She popped her eyes open to find herself fondling herself. “Hey!”

 “Chill!” He whispered harshly, reminding her to be quiet. “I’ll be gentle”

 ‘Kagome’ was smiling wickedly so she closed her eyes again. As weird as it was, she couldn’t stop Inuyasha. She didn’t want to. But she still tried to understand and maybe talk Inuyasha out of this while he pulled the angry penis out of her briefs. “Isn’t it going to be uncomfortable for you? You’re having sex with a man!”

 “Yeah but… if I’m going to have a dick inside me, at least it’s my own.”

 “That… doesn’t really make sense.”

 “I know, I just want to have sex! How the FUCK do you stand a dry spell like this?!”

 She had nothing to say to that. Because it had been a while and she didn’t want to give any more away to him. Oh god. She was about to have sex with Inuyasha! Of all people… and it was going to be so different from the occasional fantasy she had about him. She did her best to ignore the sounds coming from her body’s mouth; still too weird for her. When Inuyasha fell next to her, Kagome felt another wave of sadness rush over her that had her sniffling and Inuyasha perched over her quickly.

 “What is it now?!”

 “I… I want to… cuddle.”

 “So? We fucking cuddle!”

 She shook her head. “It’s not the same…”

 “Would you cut that shit out? It’s still you and me. Just turn around and let me fucking hold you!”

 Kagome did as commanded, rolling over and letting herself be spooned by her smaller body all night long.

  When she woke up to her sleeping face before her, Kagome was underwhelmed by it all. Sex had been weird but nice and at least they got it out of their system. Inuyasha got up before her as she laid lazily in the bed. He had her underwear back on but not much else, still touching her breasts as he pleased. But then he froze and groaned.

 “What’s wrong?”

 He shifted his hips a little and made a face. “Okay, what the hell is up with your vag? It feels… weird.”

 She laughed. “That’s how it always feels after sex. For every woman.”

 “It’s unpleasant.”

 “It’ll pass. While men think about how to get laid; women decide whether or not sex is worth unbalancing their PH.”

 He crossed arms over her chest. “It’s not that bad. I’d screw you again in a heartbeat.”

 “Really?”

 “Fuck yes.” He shifted again and blanched. “That’s disgusting. My shit just fell out into your panties.”

 “Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious!” She said, buckling over herself.

 “What the fuck? Are you trying to get knocked up by me? Why the fuck did you come inside, you’re not on BC!”

 She contained herself enough to speak but tears were leaking out of her. “Relax. I’m not ovulating. I know my body well enough to not worry. Actually, I should be getting my period soon…”

 “No… no… no, no, no, HELL NO, no, no, no, no, NO! I’m not having a fucking period for you! I’m calling that fucker Miroku and getting this fixed goddammit!!”

 She was on the floor while Inuyasha stepped over her and picked up his phone. It rang in his hands and he sighed ruefully before answering it. Kagome scrambled to her feet to take it from him since he clearly forgot, but he simply pushed her back as he spoke into the phone. 

 Listening, unintentionally, she heard a woman’s voice on the line. “Who is this? Why are you answering Inuyasha’s phone?”

 “He’s in the bathroom right now and left next to my bed.��

 “Who is this??!!”

 “Kagome Higurashi. And I thought about what you said, Kikyo. But after last night… well frankly I like Inuyasha’s massive demon dick too much to let you change it.” He winked at her while he exploited their sex life to her classmate. She was trying to be pissed but was oddly turned on again. As was ‘Kagome’. 

 “Then let me turn him into a full demon instead! The point is, he's mine, Higurashi!”

 She took the phone from him then, yelling into the phone using Inuyasha’s voice. “Kagome loves me the way I am, bitch. Don’t call me again!” Kagome was busy blocking the number and didn’t notice she was being watched intently until she heard the hurried knocks from someone’s chest. Inuyasha was staring at her with a loopy smile on his face. She didn’t get it, passing him back his phone as soon as she finished blocking Kikyo but then she realized; she probably should have asked. “Sorry, but she pissed me off. And I feel like her suggesting you change is harassment so blocking her number feels smart. Feels right. You can unblock it if you want…”

 He looked away and to his phone, messing with it and she thought he was unblocking Kikyo until he looked up at her with a grin. “I need Miroku to fix this quick so I can fuck you hard.”

 “Huh?”

 He leaned in, somehow making her feel small even while towering over him in his body. “I’m going to make you scream when we get our bodies back, Kagome. So. Fucking. Hard.”

 She swallowed something thick down her throat and sat back on the bed. What just happened?

  Kagome was surprised at the dedication; Miroku returning in a few hours thanks to Inuyasha’s call. The look on his face told her that he didn’t know about the body swap. She also didn’t know what Miroku could do for them since she had no clue what his powers or even his major were.

 He eyed them closely while they stood in the middle of Inuyasha’s and Miroku’s dorm room. With the hall completely empty, they had the door open to keep from feeling claustrophobic. But she still felt uneasy with Miroku’s probing eyes.

 “So… you’re Inuyasha?” He asked -again- while pointing at her.

 “For the thousandth fucking time, yes!” Inuyasha growled with ‘Kagome’s’ mouth. 

 Miroku looked at him now, eyeing him up and down. “If you’re in her body… then show me your tits?”

 Inuyasha punched Miroku in the arm but she was pretty sure he wanted to punch him in the face. But her body was weaker than his so he took it easy, clasping her hand instead and threading their fingers together. Miroku took note but she didn’t pull away. She was used to it now since Inuyasha had held her hand on and off since they left her room that morning and informed her family they were leaving earlier than planned. She would visit them again when she was back in her body.

 Miroku stood near the door and shook his head. “Kaede just wanted you two to get along. Which it looks like you’re doing so I’m not sure why you’re still switched like this. Maybe you two need to have sex or something?” She felt her cheeks heat up and smelled her body next to her do the same. “Ooooohhhhh hohoho. Well then. Maybe you two are stuck like this then?”

 “That’s the best you’ve got?!” Inuyasha roared next to her.

 Miroku shrugged. “Break ends in a few more days. Kaede will fix this when she returns.” He backed away more and grabbed the door to close as he left. “I'm going to go… for a few hours… so you two can have some privacy…”

 He shut the door but Inuyasha threw a book at it anyway. In a frustrated and angry huff, he sat on his bed and she slowly followed. Putting a hand on his thigh, she tried to comfort herself when she was in need of comforting herself. “I’m sorry, Yash. I know it’s… annoying being me...”

 “Not really. I kinda like it actually.”

 “What?”

 Inuyasha pulled ‘Kagome’s’ head from the hands he had it buried in and looked her dead in the eye. “Don’t get me wrong, I miss being myself. But I’m really glad I got to be you… to get to know you.”

 He leaned in to kiss her and she tried, she really did, but she just couldn’t; putting a hand on his mouth before he could touch her lips. “I’m sorry. I just can’t. It’s too weird.”

 Grabbing her, Inuyasha had her face cupped in ‘Kagome’s’ hands. “I told you to stop thinking like that.”

 “I guess I’m not like you. It’s hard to think about kissing myself…”

 “You’re not, you’re kissing me. Kagome, I’m nothing like you. You’re kind and strong. I thought you were just like everyone else, disgusted by me and half-demons like me. That you kept your distance from me out of fear or something. But no, you’re just hard-working and I admire the hell out of that.”

 “You… you do?”

 “Yeah. It’s sexy.” She rolled her eyes and he smiled. “Everyone is jealous of you and your skills. It’s not the first time Kikyo bitched about you to me. And you’re so beautiful, I never thought I had a chance with someone like you. But in the end… I love you, Kagome.”

 “Wh…” She couldn’t breathe. The gorgeously handsome Inuyasha was telling her he was in love with her. 

 “You didn’t even notice this morning that you told Kikyo that you loved me. Did you? Or was that just to mess with her?” 

 He was pulling back, his heart bouncing in fear. She grabbed him before he got far. “I meant it. I do love you.”

 “Then kiss me.”

 Her eyes drifted close on their own and she was drawn into him and his mouth. It didn’t even feel like she was kissing herself, it felt like she was kissing Inuyasha. Or what she imagined it would feel like, his thick lips pressing against hers. When she pulled back and opened her eyes, she was met with gold. 

 “There we go.” He whispered and before she could wrap her mind around it (being back in her body) Inuyasha pulled her back to him and smothered her lips with his mouth. 

 It didn’t seem to matter that they had been deep inside one another (literally) and knew one another’s bodies better than anyone. Not to Inuyasha as he discovered her body like it was the first time. But at the same time, it was clear he knew what she liked. It was sometime later, curled in Inuyasha’s arms, that Miroku returned. “Wow, you guys are into some freaky shit.”

 “Get the fuck out!” 

 Inuyasha proved they were back to normal by hurling his clock off his bedside table at Miroku’s head. There wasn’t any discussion of the events from that weekend between the three of them after that.

[lettrespromises]

┄───➤   LettresPromises informs you : you have one notification. ❜

──➤ 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 : 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒.

──➤ Smoker sent you a letter, would you like to read it? ❜

@theastroooooworld​ sent a letter : ❝hello my lover 🧚🏼‍♀️, i hope you are well no matter when you see this request !since i love above all your writing, could you make a scenario with another love of my life : Smoker ? in which this angel becomes aware that he loves his best friend from childhood, but this confuses him a lot and he ends up not knowing how to act with her anymore and until he decides to tell her ? please make it very sweet and full of good vibes ! I trust you once again for this declaration of love !𓊕 — juste entre nous deux; tu es une personne formidable et j'avais juste besoin de te le dire, je t'aime fort 💜🤸🏼‍♀️❞

the author’s letter :  ❝dear cam, i couldn’t be more honored of writing this request for you, especially because it concerns smoker and he has no business being this hot but oh well!! thank you for trusting me with your wonderful idea, i hope you’ll enjoy this promised letter. je t’aime si fort, t’es plus qu’incroyable et j’aimerai que tu le saches.❞

──➤ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : pure fluff. ─➤ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : none. ➤ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.6K. Excerpt of the letter :  ❝Only then did he realize that he had never felt an agonizing sensation of vacuity coursing through his veins when he was feeling frustrated. It was odd, it was foreign, he felt weak. His subconscious screamed at him to associate this haunting feeling of loneliness to the lack of your presence, and for once he agreed— Smoker knew he felt different, in the worst way possible, when you were not around, so he let out another puff of smoke.❞

Is there anything Smoker won’t put words around? Yes, there is.

There is the consuming rage fueled by his unquenched thirst to capture more pirates and bring his status of « white hunter » closer to glory. But he reminds himself that perhaps some pirates deserve to be set free as his orbs lay on the poster of Monkey D. Luffy and the letters of the word « wanted » screaming at him. There is the sense of injustice within the epitome of justice, such acerbic poetry, and the cacophony of remorses making his jaw clench every now and then. There is the frustration of acknowledging that there will forever be a gap between his own definition of justice and his superiors’ definition of justice, particularly Akainu’s version which appears too merciless to his own liking.

And there is the haunting torment of being incapable of qualifying properly his feelings.

He knows what anger feels like— he knows how anger bends his body, he knows that anger will push his sanity down a pit and he will have to sit here and observe an unhinged version of himself crawl out of said pit.

He knows what indifference feels like— but he barely realizes that his eyes roll back whenever his superior wishes, yet again, to narrow the notion of freedom within justice, he knows that his brain purposefully decides not to absorb any given information pooling out of Akainu’s mouth.

Smoker knows how his emotions manifest themselves and recognizes them kinesthetically.

But Smoker also fails to identify the newcomers.

« State your name and business before coming in. » It also seems that he has trouble recognizing the five distinct taps of your knuckles on the door leading to his office, but oh well.

Your knuckles brush the wooden surface of the door until reaching the doorknob and twisting it in the process, you close the door behind you, leaving his pseudo orders waiting in front of the door at the same time. « I’m kind of hurt, I thought you’d recognize my secret knocking style, we’ve spent ages creating this secret language as kids. »

But how could Smoker not recognize the sound of your voice and the honey dripping down your vocal cords?

He shifted in his seat, secretly thanking for your presence so his orbs could properly project a different visual than the bland reports scattered across his desk, and he thanked you a second time for allowing him to visually embrace the shape of your body, but he kept that to himself. « Should I give you a reminder of how old we are, Y/N? I’m almost certain we’re way past that age. » Smoker stated, a puff of smoke punctuated the end of his sentence.

« No doubt, you’re definitely past that age. » You trailed off whilst making your way over to his desk, a grin which radiated ill intentions shone brought amongst your facial features. You made a seat out of his desk without asking for permission, Smoker lightly tapped your left thigh in return, a weak attempt to make you get off of his desk. The experience granted by having shared the majority of your life with Smoker offered you the prestige of being free of your own deeds around him, without ever having to worry about pseudo consequences. « But I do have amazing news for you, I’m sure you’ll love it. » You finished, an amused gleam shining in the irises of your eyes at his quirked eyebrow, a silent way to tell you to explain further.

« I’m coming with you and Tashigi on Punk Hazard! Now, now… I know your emotionless self won’t let it show but I know, I just know you’re thrilled to hear that. » You slammed the report proving the sincerity of your words regarding your presence on the mission held on Punk Hazard on his desk in a loud thud, and the proudest grin appeared across your face, just to emphasize that silent victory over Smoker who had always refused to go on a mission with you, but never once did he admit it was because he was afraid of seeing you getting hurt.

Another puff of smoke left his lips, out of frustration, he recognized that he was feeling frustrated because of the way his teeth would hold his cigars a bit tighter, often approaching the limit of breaking them in two.

« You seem so eager to come on Punk Hazard, but I don’t think you realize how dangerous this mission is. » He grumbled, his eyes finding yours lost amongst the metaphorical electricity created in the room because of the tension. Smoker couldn’t quite tell what frustrated him the most— was it the fact that Akainu, out of all people, granted you the wish to come on Punk Hazard? Was it the fact he envied your ability to willingly ignore the magnitude of danger? Or was it the fact you called him emotionless?

Emotionless.

Smoker wasn’t emotionless, see— he was feeling frustrated. But, nonetheless, the words echoed in his head until it lost its meaning. Was he emotionless? No, no, no he was not. Smoker was not emotionless. He was frustrated, frustration is a valid feeling therefore is he able to show emotions. But only now did he wonder if it was genuine frustration.

« I didn’t reach this rank by slacking off, you and I both know it. I’ll see you soon enough, Smoker. »

He found his own answer when you hopped off his desk and left the room, the sound of the door being shut close was his sole wake-up call. Only then did he realize that he had never felt an agonizing sensation of vacuity coursing through his veins when he was feeling frustrated. It was odd, it was foreign, he felt weak. His subconscious screamed at him to associate this haunting feeling of loneliness to the lack of your presence, and for once he agreed— Smoker knew he felt different, in the worst way possible, when you were not around, so he let out another puff of smoke.

This enigma kept him up at the worst moments, and like every enigma, obtaining an answer to soothe the inner pain caused by the latest obsession of his mind was almost impossible. He immediately knew he couldn’t talk about it to Hina, or worse, Tashigi. Either way, he was sure to be met with either a harsh judgement and could already imagine Hina saying « You’ve mellowed ever since we joined the navy, Hina is amused. » or the inevitable stutters cascading from Tashigi’s mouth. Smoker was on his own, drown in the torment of his own emotions.

The sole temporary solution he found was to ignore you, if his body and mind had to hurt then so be it, he couldn’t handle the agonizing pain of seeing you go away, Smoker had mentally told himself to be a martyr and accept it.

You, on the other one hand, did not bother too much about his absence, you figured it was his way to mentally prepare himself ahead of a mission. You accepted it too, both his absence and the inexorable feeling of your heartstrings being bent in unimaginable ways.

Smoker lighted up the fifth cigar in a row now, and once more he blindly trusted the aftereffects of your absence for the cause of this obsession, smoking some more was merely a placebo to soothe the torture brought by the lack of answer. Truthfully, Smoker hadn’t spoken in a while, perhaps he had nothing to say as long as he knew what was going on. He spoke rarely and judged the value of his words before actually speaking— sure, he had directed his subalterns here and there to organize the ship on their way to Punk Hazard, but aside from the obligations of his ranks, he found nothing to say. Or rather, his mind didn’t grant him the ability to talk until he figured what was this haunting feeling which had no familiarity with frustration anymore. But was he emotionless?

Instead, Smoker let the rhythm of the waves crashing against the ship in the darkest hours of the night to rock his thoughts. His hazel orbs never left once the ‘wanted’ posters of Monkey D. Luffy and Trafalgar Law— of course he knew their faces and who they were, but the couldn’t trust his body anymore and wondered whether or not this secret emotional disease was going to affect his memory. Smoker hoped it wouldn’t have any impact on his memories with you, he was willing to let amnesia consume him whole and burn everything he knew except any memory which had your name written all over it.

From that moment, Smoker knew it was definitely not frustration.

« Smoker? Smoker? Earth to big cigar boy? You can go to sleep, it’s my turn to watch over the ship and you kind of look like a zombie if I’m being honest. » He hadn’t even noticed you entered the main cabin and thus he cursed himself for doing so, but Smoker noticed you looked hesitant by the way you were fiddling with your fingers, it was something you always did as a child.

Most of all, Smoker noticed something else— whenever you were in the same vicinity as him, the pain soothed, it faded away to let the most blissful sensation appear instead. Yet another question he will never obtain the answer to.

Using the grip on the armrests as a support, Smoker stood up and headed towards the door to leave you alone whilst you were on watching duty, that was the initial plan : head towards the door and leave. Head towards the door and leave. Head towards the door and-…

« Y/N, can I ask you something? » … And shamefully ask you to ease his pain instead.

You looked at him with a quizzical look painted across your facial features, both at the sudden interpellation, but mostly at the fainted grip he was holding on your wrist. « Sure, I’m all ears. » You replied, curiosity tainted the way your words came out but you kept your eyes locked on his frame anyway.

Smoker took a sudden drag of his cigars to ease his nerve and subconsciously give him a few seconds to organize the isolated parts of sentences shooting in his mind. Truthfully, he didn’t even know if this was necessary given that he ignored how he was feeling or what caused his body to hurt so much, translating this agony into words was beyond impossible. « You have to promise not to tell anyone about this. » He inquired, his orbs adopted a darker tone on the demanding tone coating his words and the hold on your wrist became temporarily tighter, you hummed in response, allowing him to continue. « If I’m being honest, I think I’m sick or have caught some kind of disease. It’s odd and quite impossible to properly be explained. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it’s manifesting through this constant sensation of feeling empty. It weighs on my mind, and I have no idea what’s causing it. »

You quirked your brow in response, genuinely concerned as to whether or not Smoker was actually sick— after all, as you were approaching the extreme binary climate of Punk Hazard, such possibility couldn’t be evicted. You allowed your orbs to roam over his face, a guilty pleasure, and besides visible confusion, you couldn’t depict any physical symptom.

« Um, right? Do you have any idea when did this start? » You asked, hoping to obtain more hints about his situation.

« I hate to admit it but it started when you left my office last week, and now that you’re here I feel better, as in I don’t feel this emptiness anymore. » He continued, and for the first time in your life, you could admire his emotions dancing under the moonlight. « I was wondering if you felt sick, too. »

« So, if I sum it up you feel ‘empty’ and ‘in pain’ when I’m not around. » You couldn’t help but bend your lips into a smile which you knew he already hated by the ill intentioned looks of it.

« Sort of, but you haven’t answered my question : are you ill or not? » A question so innocent which found its answer in the shameless laugh escaping your lips, Smoker covered your mouth with his palm— not because he cared about the quality of the slumber of his soldiers, but rather because the sound of your laugh was awakening something else in him which was too harsh to handle.

You delicately wrapped your fingers around his wrist, slowly making him retreat his limb to his torso, and to his greatest pleasure, your laughter left an imprint on your facial features in the shape of a grin. « Would you believe me if I were to tell you that I found the cure? » You asked, already imagining the outcome of a possible answer.

« Huh? What is it? » He responded to your question with yet another question, but there and only there he found the answer to his haunting enigma when your fingers invaded his vision field and threw the sole obstacles to the apex of the situation, his cigars, on the floor before stepping on them to extinguish them. And there and only there, Smoker felt peace when your lips crashed onto his in a delicately harsh liplock whilst your palms were cupping his cheeks. It came as a reflex, and he couldn’t blame himself for it because he had fantasized about this scenario several times while hoping it would be the cure to his problems, Smoker caged you against his chest as his forelimbs protectively claimed your waist.

The more your lips were lingering on his, the more he felt every ounce of pain exude his body by his every pores— you were the cure, you were the answer to his enigma and always have been. If his lungs hadn’t failed him, Smoker would have gladly delivered himself into the temptations of your lips once more, judging by the way he blindly chased after your lips when you broke the kiss.

Another giggle escaped your lips as your thumbs brushed invisible motions against his cheeks, « Do you still feel empty at all? » you asked, such a rhetorical question, right? Smoker looked at you quizzically but then it hit him— he felt full, and vacuity had lost sense. « No, I don’t feel empty anymore. » He concluded to your amused smile.

« You’re not sick and never have been, or maybe it’s a sickness to you, but you’re in love, Smoker. That’s what you were feeling. And if I’m being honest, I’ve been feeling quite ‘empty’ myself too. » You confessed and opened your heart to him so he could admire each tone of vivid color painting your feelings for him which caused him to tighten his hold to bring you as close as humanly possible. He had found his cure and needed as much contact as possible. « I suppose you’re right, I do feel better when you’re by my side. »

And here, you planted yet another peck on his lips and gave in to the sweet temptation of savoring the taste of his lips once more. The gleam shining in the corner of your eyes reflected nothing but genuine love, and you knew it was the same gleam reflecting in his own orbs. « I’ve never been more glad to be sick in my entire life. » Smoker concluded, and kissed these words into the skin of the crown of your hair.

That’s when Smoker knew that perhaps he wasn’t emotionless, or at least, he was able to feel emotions as long as you were by his side.

[sofia-comet]

Shut up

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader (any gender!!)

genre: fluff, friends to lovers i guess

length: 1.7k words

omg hello this is my first time writing something shdfhsdfg so this oneshot was inspired by one of my favorite songs, Shut Up by Greyson Chance! also bc i wanted something to help me cope with stress and idk writing something seemed like the best way possible. unbeta-ed but who cares! 

I cannot hold my tongue, you give me much to say

The first time you met Ushijima Wakatoshi was when your family moved in next door. You were unable to help out with the moving boxes so you decided to walk around the neighborhood. You caught him playing volleyball with a man that appeared to be his father.

The man asked if you wanted to play with his son and you agreed. For the rest of the day, the boy taught you volleyball with as little words as possible. It was mostly you in the conversation -- asking him questions and repeating his instructions as he nodded all throughout. His father couldn’t help but smile as his quiet and shy son made a new friend.

For the rest of your childhood you were hanging out with him. You were the most talkative person ever. You never ran out of things while he would look at you and either nod or shake his head. You didn’t mind his silence as long as you know he understood every word you said.

Although there are times when you would be taken aback at how much he remembered the things you’ve said. One day he gave you your favorite flower, the next was a drawing of a butterfly in your favorite color, and whenever you got sick, he would visit you with a snack that you loved the most.

He knew so much about you, yet you only knew little about him. It was your main worry that you could count on your fingers about the things he liked. He likes volleyball, Hayashi rice, the volleyball ace in his dad’s stories, Vabo-chan, drawing, taking care of plants, and -- what else?

One time, both of you were resting under the tree after playing volleyball and a finished session of rambling about life, you asked him, “Wakatoshi-chan, what is your most favorite thing in the world?”

He faced you, staring at your eyes, and all he could say was “You.”

=====

I’m sweating bullets, nervous that you’ll push away

You developed your first crush right before first year of high school started. It was finally decided that you were allowed to move into Shiratorizawa Academy and live in the dorms, and the crush in question helped you with the packing and moving. His name was Ushijima Wakatoshi.

It happened on a whim, really. You realized that the both of you were growing up. His body and facial features were maturing, and you knew that he was growing up to be a handsome young man.

You both agreed to help each other unpack first in your dorm then his after. You couldn’t help but feel so anxious because it was your first time living away from your parents and on top of that, Shiratorizawa’s high academic standards were something you have to uphold. When the pressure gets to you too much, you tend to spout out a lot of “what ifs.”

But it was Wakatoshi to the rescue. He stood close in front of you and held both of your shoulders, which made you pause and look up to him. Huh, since when did he get so tall?

“You’ll be okay. I’m here”

And suddenly those five words washed the nerves away. You closed the distance between you two and wrapped your arms around him. This is nothing new, you say to yourself, and he followed by enveloping his strong arms around you, but why do I feel a new kind of anxiety?

You stayed in each other's arms for a few minutes. You let the rise and fall of his chest relax you right now. High school is going to be alright if it’s with him, but at the same time, high school isn’t going to be alright with him either as your platonic feelings for him bloomed into something else.

“Say, Wakatoshi-chan,” you asked out of the blue, and you felt his chest vibrate as he hummed in response. “I know I’m very talkative and I always tell you to stop when it gets too much. Well...a-am I still annoying to you?”

Until now, you still fear the day when he stops being your friend and finally decides that you were being too annoying. Because of him and your feelings for him, you became too self-conscious.

You retracted from him, but his arms still held firm around you. You tilted your head up to meet his olive green eyes with yours, staring at him with anticipation. With his left hand -- the hand that his father fought for, the hand that helped him unleash his strength, the hand that proved him to be different -- gently moved from your back to hold the back of your head. He pulled you back into his chest and held you tighter than before.

Still on his chest, you felt him shaking his head.

And when your eyes catch mine, I know I talk too much

=====

You have fallen hard for Ushijima Wakatoshi. You actually had planned to confess to him, but his serious and stoic nature made it hard to recognize his true feelings for you.

Three years have passed. You and your childhood friend are in your final year of high school.

You know that he will go pro after high school. The loss of his team against Karasuno only fueled his passion for the sport even more. He constantly wanted to improve and one day stand on the national stage again.

And you? Well, you wanted to get into one of Japan’s top universities at least. It won’t be easy, but you had the support from your friends and family. That familiar feeling has once again come back, fresh as the day as when you had to prepare for high school. The uncertainty of the future coupled with the feelings for the man you liked for years that are getting nowhere were adding to the weight on your shoulders.

It became harder to sleep as the end of your high school life approached. The time on your phone flashed 2 am and you texted him about meeting up at the nearby convenience store. You knew how sleeping on time and waking up on time mattered to him, but it came to your surprise when he replied with an “okay, see you there.”

Leaning on the wall at the side of the convenience store alone, you saw him approaching you. You could not help but notice how eye candy he was in his joggers and plain t-shirt. The darkness helped conceal the blush formed on your cheeks.

He leaned on the wall next to you and you both stood there in silence. Your heart was beating louder than your thoughts at that point, but at the same time you felt relaxed because his presence simply helped you forget the weight you’re carrying. How does this man make you nervous yet bring you comfort at the same time?

“So uh, Wakatoshi,” you started. “We’ll be graduating soon.” He huffed in reply. You looked at the moon, because the man next to you would only distract your thoughts.

“To be honest, I don’t really have concrete plans for my future as long as I get into some university. I’m fine with any degree as long as it gets me somewhere, you know? And for you, you know what you want. You’re gonna go pro and I’m so proud of you. I’ll be supporting you all the way, just as what I’ve been doing in your matches in the past years.” You didn’t notice him inching closer to you as you continued your monologue.

The moon, in all its hypnotic glory, made you believe you were talking to it; it was you and the moon at that moment. “We have been together like, all the time. I wonder why you haven’t grown tired of me yet honestly. And this is the first time we’ll be apart...after high school I mean. I’ll forever cherish these moments and whenever I miss you I’ll think about all the times we’ve had together. I can’t help it if you were such a constant presence in my life.

“I just wanna say, thank you, for everything. I can’t list them down, that would take me years! Even if we can’t see each other a lot, I really don’t want us to grow apart, that’s all I’m asking for. But I completely understand if you don’t like me...I know I’m too much at times so I don’t know how you put up with me so, I’m sorry. God, I get too self-conscious at times… I know you mean well and that I should trust you more but... What doesn’t help is that I like you so mu--” You stopped. What? You punished your own mouth for moving faster than your brain.

You broke your gaze at the moon to face the man next to you. Your eyes widened because he stood closer to you than earlier. His olive eyes pierced you and with one look they told you to stop putting your focus at the rock in the sky. “Wakatoshi? I… w-well… Wow! What did I say?” You were laughing and shaking at that point. Did I have caffeine today? Your eyes were everywhere except his. He placed his left hand on your chin to tilt your head up and look back at his face. You drank in his olive orbs and handsome face, making sure this moment etched in your mind forever. 

In his eyes you were the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, even if you were a blushing mess.

“What I mean t-to say is, uhh... yes, I do like you. A lot. Not just as your closest friend, but as something more than that. I’ve fallen for you, Wakato-” For the first time in your friendship, he has cut you off from your words by pressing his own lips with yours. This was the first time he shut you up from your ramblings rather than give a single nod or a few words in reply. This was the first time he rendered you speechless.

Your arms snaked around his neck as you kissed him back. It was innocent and chaste, and it reminded you of the day he declared that you were his favorite thing.  You still were.

And in that kiss, was when Ushijima Wakatoshi showed something that spoke more words than you have ever said to him in all these years together.

So give me your two lips, and baby I’ll shut up.

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens - “Plot Twist” (Rated PG13)

Summary: Embroiled in the aftermath of two very messy break-ups, Crowley and Aziraphale are preparing to film their first love scene together. But how do you pretend to be in love when your love life is falling apart?

It probably doesn't hurt to be in love with your co-star. (2318 words)

Notes: So I made the chauffeur young Shadwell, but patterned after young Michael McKean, who I was desperately in love with back in the day XD Human au, ineffable wives, mention of past Aziraphale/Gabriel, mostly just fluff

Read on AO3.

“Ooo, I get a limo this time. Fancy, fancy,” Crowley mumbles, not nearly as impressed as she’s pretending to be. She’d much rather drive herself in her own Bentley and in her own sweet arse time. But she needs to keep up appearances. 

There are always two eyes and a camera lens on her at any given moment.

Even though it’s the literal buttcrack of dawn, she’s not alone. There are about thirty asshats, armed with cameras, camped out on her doorstep, climbing over each other to snap a candid of her for the gossip sites. A photo of her emerging from her rented townhouse fresh-faced and ready for another day on set will fetch an easy hundred pounds.

But if she looks like she rolled out of bed, drank a bottle of whiskey for breakfast, then fell down a flight of stairs, landing face-first onto a mountain of cocaine? Those pictures would fetch considerably more.

That’s what she gets for going through a horrendous break-up while having the nerve to be rich and famous.

She thought that when the production moved filming away from London and out to California, the buzz surrounding her personal affairs would die down. On the contrary. It seemed to get worse, in part because the states don’t have the same paparazzi laws the UK does.

She can’t sit down to take a proper shit without seeing a flash pop off.

Despite how she feels about her life at the moment, she went for class over crass. She shies away from hard drugs, and she can't justify looking less than her best, especially in public. 

She refuses to let anyone see her sweat.

“Antonia! Antonia! Over here!” the pariahs beckon, some of them whistling for her attention like she’s a dog. “Antonia! Hey, Crowley!”

Crowley.

That’s the one that gets to her - burrows into the roots of her teeth and makes her head pulsate with rage. It keeps her feet moving when she might have stopped to exchange a polite hello, given out an autograph. And the sick thing is these vultures probably realize that. 

That’s why they keep doing it. 

Who talks to people like that? When did it become acceptable to bellow out someone’s last name as a means of getting their attention? Is it too much to ask for them to shove a ‘Mrs.’ in front of it? Have these glorified stalkers forgotten that, if it weren’t for her and stars like her, the only jobs they could get would be snapping photos of families at Legoland for minimum wage?

Ugh. 

Too much thinking too early in the morning.

She could write an entire essay on how much she loathes pap culture, but today, she can’t be bothered caring.

She’s filming one of the most anticipated scenes of her whole career on one of the worst days of her life. 

That’s the hurdle she needs to focus on.

She slaps on a smile and waves, sliding her glasses down her nose only far enough so they can’t see how red her eyes have gotten from crying.

“Oh, ‘ello, loves! I didn’t see you all here! So nice of you to greet me at 5:30 on this fine winter morning! Oh, careful there. You spilled your coffee. And I think you just kicked that poor lad in the face. You wanna give him a hand up there? He’s bleedin’ all over the pavement.”

Crowley greets her guests this way every morning, killing them with kindness, as subtle an eff you as she can come up with when her brain cells have yet to kick in for the day.

Coffee. She needs coffee. About a gallon-and-a-half of it.

And a shot of bourbon might be nice.

Crowley glides through the crowd, an angelfish among sharks, and comes out unscathed.

A man with brown hair, pale skin, and striking blue eyes, wearing a fitted, black uniform tailored to within an inch of its life, opens the car door for her as she approaches.

"Good morning, Mrs. Crowley."

“Good morning, Mr. Shadwell. It's nice to see you.” Crowley slides into the car, thankful when the chauffeur shuts the door. She sinks into the leather seat and tosses her sunglasses aside. “God!" she moans, burying her face in her hands. "I don't want to do this! I want to stay home, eat ice cream, and drink tremendous amounts of alcohol! I definitely don’t want to be snogging anyone today!”

Aziraphale, who had been waiting patiently with a small box of assorted cookies and wearing a sympathetic smile, frowns. “Wow. Thank you, my dear.”

Crowley's head snaps up, her face splotchy, and red enough to rival her hair in seconds. “Aziraphale! I am so sorry! I didn’t know you were …! That’s not what I meant!" She takes a deep breath in, lets it out slowly. "It's not you, angel. I swear it isn’t. I just don’t feel particularly romantic today.”

“It’s all right. I know what you mean. I feel the same way.”

Crowley squares Aziraphale with a stern look. “Wow. Thank you.”

Aziraphale ducks her eyes, her cheeks turning pink as she offers Crowley a cookie from the box. She wonders if Aziraphale made them herself. She often does bake to pass the time. So much so that she's become quite good at it.

Life hasn’t been treating her too kindly, either.

The cookies are delicate little things, intricately frosted in red, green, and white, decorated as bells and angels and snowflakes in honor of Christmas. 

Because it’s Christmas. 

Crowley is having the worst day of her life a week before Christmas.

Sigh.

There is usually champagne, no matter what vehicle the studio sends to pick them up. She wonders where it’s gone, searching about for it. Crowley and Aziraphale rarely avail themselves to it, preferring to wait till after the shooting day is done to have a nightcap.

But today, it feels like a necessity.

Leave it to the studio to not provide them a bottle of bubbly on the one day Crowley longs to drown in it.

“I didn’t know Shadwell was picking you up first,” Crowley says, starting small talk to ease the tension. Crowley and Aziraphale don’t usually have trouble making small talk.

Today is an exception.

“Well ...” Aziraphale clears embarrassment from her throat “... I was just … you know … a few blocks down the way.”

Crowley sits up further, leans forward with interest. “So you did it. You left him. You left Gabriel.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale replies quietly. “I couldn’t stay. Not after …” She stops and sniffles, turning her head to hide eyes that must be as red as Crowley’s. Crowley doesn’t know.

She only ever notices how incredible they are.

Crowley rests a comforting hand on Aziraphale’s knee. “I know.” 

“Yeah,” Aziraphale says with a slightly bitter laugh. “So does the whole world. In fact, the photogs knew I was leaving before I knew. You should have seen it. I could barely get past them.”

Crowley pulls a box of tissues out of the side panel and offers her co-star one. “They’re bottom feeders. The lot of them. Try to ignore them.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I know,” Crowley repeats, feeling exceptionally useless. She’s in the exact same boat, but her heart hurts more for Aziraphale.

Aziraphale doesn’t deserve what she's going through. She doesn’t deserve such a public break-up.

She doesn’t deserve having her name drug all over social media by an emotionally manipulative bastard who thinks he's God's gift.

Crowley gazes out the window at the sky above. The forecast said it would be clear and sunny today, but it’s cloudy and grey. It matches Crowley's mood. Everything is cloudy and grey.

Well, maybe not everything.

The cookie she's eating isn’t. It’s sweet and crisp and melts in her mouth. It puts a smile on her face.

That helps.

Aziraphale helps, too.

Even gloomy, melancholy Aziraphale helps.

Just being in Aziraphale's presence helps.

“Living in the public eye isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, is it, my dear?” Aziraphale asks, though it sounds as much like a statement to herself as a question for Crowley.

“Not on days like today. But that’s the trade-off for being a star, I suppose.” 

“Would you ever give it up?” Aziraphale asks, taking a nibble of her Madeleine.

“I can’t say I would. You?”

“Nnnn ... no."

"There isn't anything else you wanted to do?" Crowley asks, latching on to her hesitation. "Not even when you were younger?"

"Well ..." Aziraphale bobs her head back and forth. "To be honest, I have always wanted to own my own bookshop. Or perhaps work in a library. But that's only if acting didn't work out. Acting has given me so many opportunities I could never have dreamed of. And all the great people I've met? I mean, this is what? The fifth film we’ve starred in together?”

“It is." 

Aziraphale chuckles. "Some of them have been real winners."

"I know! The roles you get offered when you're just starting out are criminal! Let’s see, we’ve been rogue enemy agents from different factions …”

“High school frenemies …”

“Alien co-conspirators …”

“Jealous rivals …”

“And now … lovers.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale says bashfully. “And today …”

Crowley smiles. “We get together for the first time.”

Hearing Crowley say it makes Aziraphale’s heart race, her pulse thrumming so fast it disappears.

The day Aziraphale found out she’d gotten the role of Crowley’s love interest and not the ‘jealous ex’ (the role her agent originally pitched for her since they play adversaries so well) was a dream come true. The studio felt the two of them could take their insane sexual tension (the studio's words, not Aziraphale's, although she doesn't disagree) and use it to fuel the plot of their latest 'friends-to-lovers' rom-com.

Aziraphale has always wanted to be a leading lady. Deep down, she prayed that her first time, she'd play opposite Crowley. Now that it has finally happened, the role of her dreams comes with the greatest perk in the universe - an intimate moment with Antonia.

In front of about three dozen crew members, but still. 

It's Aziraphale's chance to indulge her crush, which she plans to savor since it may not come around again. 

Not in the way Aziraphale wants.

As friendly as Crowley is to her, as flirty as she can be, Aziraphale doesn't know for sure whether Crowley shares her feelings.

“If you don't mind my asking, when did she tell you?” Aziraphale asks.

“She didn’t." Crowley snorts humorlessly. "I woke up, and she was gone. I thought she had left for work. She had a table reading at six that morning, so I wasn’t immediately suspicious. Not until I started noticing important things were missing - clothes, toiletries, her contact lenses, her laptop …” 

"Did she tell you why she was leaving?"

Crowley chews her lower lip at the question she'd known was coming ... the answer she's debating whether or not to give. "Eventually." She glances up at Aziraphale, flashes a sly grin, and decides to go for broke. “She left because she thought I was falling in love with my co-star.”

"Really?" And just like that, Aziraphale dies, her heart shrinking into nothing and blowing away on the wind. "W-which one?" she asks, solely for conversation's sake.

This time, when Crowley snorts, clamping a hand over her mouth to keep from spraying crumbs all over the interior of the limo, it's genuine. "You, you gumball!"

"Oh. Oh!" Aziraphale’s expression of shock is so endearing, Crowley can’t look at it too long. There's a glow about her. It's like staring into the sun. “That's ... that’s funny. Gabriel broke up with me for the same reason. Because of ... you. At least, that's the excuse he gave on Twitter ... and Instagram ... and Facebook.” Aziraphale's glow dims as she talks about her ex. Their relationship, and separation, weren’t as civil as Crowley’s. In reality, trouble had been brewing behind the scenes for a while. 

She’s glad they finally went their separate ways, but it stings just the same, finding out that someone you once loved, who you thought loved you back, just wanted someone to push around. To control.

"That is funny. Not funny ha-ha. Just ... funny. Who would have thunk?" Crowley goes back to her cookie, taking small bites while keeping an eye on Aziraphale.

Aziraphale glances out the window as the limo slows, approaching the gates to the studio lot. Crowley doesn't follow Aziraphale's gaze.

She doesn't need to. 

She knows what Aziraphale sees by the way her face falls.

Aziraphale had hoped they could slip in quietly, but there's already a mob three feet deep waiting for them. The photographers and fans won't be able to see a thing through the car's windows. The tint on them is darker than dark. Still, the whole lot will be on high alert with them here. 

Inevitably, a handful will slip in. 

They may even find their way on set.

Aziraphale doesn't have the energy to deal with that.

Not today.

“How are we going to get through it?" Aziraphale asks. "Filming this scene? The timing is ... uncanny, to say the least.”

“Think of it this way …” Crowley slides across to Aziraphale’s side, sits as close as they're both comfortable with. Crooking a finger beneath her chin, Crowley draws Aziraphale's attention away from the gathering crowd and over to her eyes instead “… we get to spend the entire afternoon making each other feel better. That's how we're going to get through this. Agreed?”

Aziraphale’s eyes lower, flicker to Crowley's lips unintentionally. When they travel back up, she notices Crowley's eyes do the same. She swallows hard. At this distance from Crowley, from her mouth, Aziraphale only has the wherewithal to say one word. She makes it count. "Agreed."