#no wonder there's so much peter whump

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #134

Fic where everything in the current MCU has happened

...for Peter.

In fact, Mysterio captured Peter right after Endgame. Everything that happened since -- Europe, his identity, May -- has been an illusion.

Mysterio even altered Peter's memory of the battle against Thanos to torture him. He doesn't remember the rush to get Tony to a hospital. He doesn't remember being kidnapped. He believes Tony died on the battlefield

Which is why, when he's suddenly in a cell and Iron Man bursts in, frantic and alive, Peter has a hard time telling what's real.

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Hermitcraft / Life Series Fic Recs

Because I love so many of them...

I'll split the fics into completed and updating fics, and try to only recommend currently updating fics (i.e., not abandoned). I'm going to write a little about why I like each fic and what the general vibes are - so this is also a kind of review I guess?

I've tried to @ the authors if they have a public tumblr. Sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged, I can remove any @ if you ask (or if I have embarrassingly tagged the wrong person). Anyway, enjoy, and I appreciate reblogs because I want as many people to see these fics as possible!!

This ended up being incredibly long so I'm putting a divider here. Click to keep reading!!! Also, fair warning: shipping ahead! Some fics will have mild sexual content, please read the tags if you are unsure <3

Updating Fics

I have already recommended Help Me To Breathe, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart), and There Are Monsters Nearby in this post, so I won't explain why I like them a second time, but definitely check them out!!

Death's A Good Gig by @mawofthemagnetar is probably going to be finished by the time this post gets to you, reader, but I'm putting it here anyway. It's short and sweet, one of my favourite representations of Zedaph (or, Zedeath) I've read, and just a joy to experience. If you like grim reapers and discussions of unions, this one is for you. Also I need more Zedaph in my life.

Look, I'm Sorry, Please Stop Scaring Everyone by @cat-in-the-desert reminds me a lot of a particular TV drama I liked when I was younger, which followed a similar premise. This fic follows Mumbo (vampire) and Grian (ghost) as they get up to various housemate shenanigans and meet their local magic-expert and salesman Scar. This fic is fun, but still includes a nice amount of Feelings and hinted-at Angst which I really love. It's lighthearted, but never boring.

It Hurts To Hope by Inquillitory is my favourite of the "Grian crash lands into Hermitcraft and causes problems for everyone" genre. Seeing how many fics there are with that premise, I think that says a lot. It handles Grian's weird Watcher stuff really well. Honestly, I just want to know what happens next!

killing the boy in the tv by @raspberrystruck is like a sickfic on steroids. If you want Grian with so much past trauma he forgets how to function in society, this is basically the fic for you. I really love how hybrid traits affect the characters' interactions in this fic, and how everyone is kind of messed up because of the imbalance Grian brings. It is wonderfully descriptive in all the right places!

Love Me Like I'm Dead by @daniofcrows is such a gem. You know how hard it is to find good Xisuma whump? It's impossible. I absolutely love how Xisuma and Evil X are characterised in this, and I am obsessed with the unique take on hanahaki disease which I have never seen handled in this way before. The balance between flashbacks and present day is maintained wonderfully and I cannot wait to continue reading this one. Wow.

Oh, you wanted me to do a verse? by @bugbbear is... kind of indescribable. It's horror. It's comedy. It's the apocalypse. It's boatem. Scar eats someone. One of the most interesting and unique apocalypse stories I have read. Slowly updating but worth the wait, in my opinion. This one NEEDS more attention.

So Much For Stardust by @a-plethora-of-peters is basically one of my all-time favourites. Which is a damn good achievement seeing as I don't usually read ZITS fics. Like, ever. In this fic, Skizz is a human abducted and hurt badly by aliens, now recovering in the care of good aliens who don't know how 'sentient' he is. Every update of this one makes me smile, it is wonderful. I love how the characters are written and how the different perspectives are shown. It is just great.

Solar Waltz by @raspberrystruck and aroundtheclock is a brilliant and very very sad regression fic. I love fluffy regression fics as much as the next guy, but this one just... hits different. The hurt/comfort levels are off the charts. Grian is so damn cute the whole time, while also being harrowingly complicated and sad. I am so ready for whatever comes next.

Tango's Castle of Cards by @evilrat-sabre is the one where Tango is a BUG. He's just a little guy (horror). This one is so beautifully written, with poetry-type interludes and perspective changes that really make everything feel so much more impactful. Finding out your buddy is a murder bug isn't the easiest thing in the world. I love this so much.

Traveling Thieves {Dark Fantasy AU} (series) by @amethystfairy1 is basically one of the series of all time. I know I keep saying that but it really really is. I love a good fantasy au, and I love an au with hybrids even more. In this world, hybrids are treated like slaves, but it isn't all doom and gloom for the main characters of each installment. There is a lot of hurt/comfort and the different stories feed into each other in really interesting ways. I try to read as much as I can, though I've missed a few because my emails are buggy. Definitely worth reading these fics, especially since now they're all starting to come together!

Completed Fics

Solving Counting Sheep by @theminecraftbee might have rearranged my brain chemistry a little. Another strong contender for 'fics that inspire me to kill Grian', this time with a more concrete notion of "replacement". Three is my favourite fucked up living weapon. It's so rare to find Evo fics in this day and age, too. This fic had me immediately clicking on every update as soon as I got the emails.

Rescue Fire by @imaginethat0327 is one of the most unique takes on a fictionalised life series game that I have ever read. The whole concept is explained in a realistic and easy-to-follow way, as we learn what's happening with the characters. There are several brilliant storylines happening in this one, but my particular favourites are Jimmy & Tango, Joel, and of course Scar & Grian. This fic is full of whump and, well, read the tags, it isn't always pleasant, but those are my favourite things ever. Definitely worth checking out this fic and its currently updating sequel.

don't you know about me? by takenbadgering is a wonderful comedy of errors with just the right amount of angst for a realistic setting type of fic. If you enjoy polyamory miscommunications, rave aesthetics, kandi, school teacher dynamics, and a lovely blend between grumbo, cubscar, and mumscar, this is the one.

Eventually the Birds Must Land by @milo-hypno follows a polyam ship I would have never thought of, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. This married-as-friends fic premise is wonderful, and captures the main trio (Grian, Mumbo, Impulse)'s personalities so well, while balancing them with the incredibly terrifying descriptions of the Watchers and their power. There's a lot of angst here, but it is ultimately hurt/comfort to the maximum degree. I loved reading it as it updated. Yay for gay marriage!

From The Archives (series) by @sixteenth-days was the absolute inspiration for my own Comms AU, and I will never forget its influence on me. As someone basically unfamiliar with TMA, I thought this series might be hard to follow, but it was not! I read all 57 parts in the span of two days, and I think it altered my brain chemistry. Please read it, even if (especially if) you don't know anything about TMA. The Cleo and Grian storyline lives in my head rent free. I mean it. This is horror at its finest. Also there's an audio series of this fic being released rn, which is very cool.

SUPERCRITICAL by @masque-of-plague hits different. It is such a wonderful take on the superhero/HotGuy trope, and it gets so super dark at some points! This one really takes swings at it's fictional government, which of course I love, while at the same time building this brilliantly emotional relationship between Scar and Grian. I do enjoy a bit of enemies to lovers, but the actual plot mixed into the story makes this one extra special. It is thrilling, with action that I don't get to see too often! Great work.

I am weary with contending! is one of the mumscarian fics of all time. From 'this house has people in it'-type horror, to magic gone wrong, to childhood trauma, to attempted assassination, to gender fuckery, this fic has it all. Usually I don't go for convex siblings, but this one is good enough to get a pass from me. Amazingly detailed worldbuilding alongside a brilliantly creative story.

It Spreads by @foxxology may not count as a fic, actually. It's a comic. But it's posted on ao3 so it counts. I was obsessed with this one as it was updating, honestly. It rocked me to my core. The art is phenomenal. The writing is brilliant. I love sculk.

Luck of the sea by Sleepy_Duck is a lovely take on mermaid and human interactions, with Grian as a marine life conservator and Scar as a very neglected mer. This one takes us emotionally in all sorts of directions, and offers lots of hope for the future of the characters. I heavily enjoyed this fic - if you like mermaids and marine biology, check it out.

there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag is another mermaid fic but with a pretty different vibe. First of all, it follows what I would consider a rarepair Doc/Martyn. Second of all, reading this as it updated was a thrilling experience that nearly made me cry at certain points. I love how the relationship builds in this fic. It is honestly amazing. The whole idea of experimenting on a sentient sea creature, learning that he can communicate, then losing funding and having to save him from being dissected?!?! It's crazy. I love it.

Thus concludes my fic recommendations. I hope you enjoy at least some of these, and consider reblogging to spread these wonderful fics around <3

[whumblr]

Hey!!! I know I just sent an ask the other day but I didn't what to forget to ask this

Can I have a drabble where jay has a panic attack because he hears some sort of sound that zayne makes (example the click of zayne's knife).

love your writing so much!!

Have a wonderful day and get good sleep❤️

Fidgety

Home is where the hurt is: Part 1

-

Jay didn’t mind afternoon team meetings as much, really. It was a bit of a break in the day for him, half an hour to shut his mind off, sit back, and just listen. Maybe pipe up every now and then, or zone out and mull over the words for his upcoming articles, but mainly, just, listen.

Today however, he was distracted. Or rather, kept getting distracted.

Unfortunately, Peter had a habit of clicking his pen when he was paying attention. He had one of those blue pens with a button on the side that clicked the plunger back. And he was very much paying attention now.

Normally, it wouldn’t really bother Jay and he could shut it out. But, well, first, his nerves were shot, and very close in second, the click sounded like that of Zayne’s knife. A little shk with every click and he could practically see the blade flick out in his mind’s eye. He managed to reduce his flinches with every click, blinked his eyes, twitched his fingers, skipped a heartbeat, but on the inside, everything went haywire.

He forced himself to take deep breaths, keep in control, to stop the hyperventilation from kicking in. Forced himself to focus on who was speaking, on the actual words spoken – that didn’t mean they actually hit the mark; he listened intently but the panic rising scattered the words from their sentences like leaves in the wind.

Calm down. He was safe. He was here in the office. He was—

Shk

He was down on the floor, face pressed against the wood, a heavy weight on the small of his back pinning him down.

Shk

Something cold tickled over his back. Something sharp. Pressure slowly increased and the cold tipped into his skin, breaking it, a wet hot sensation bubbling up, fighting against the cold intruding as if trying to expel it. Then it repeated itself. And again. Hot lines carved into his skin with a cold instrument, by a cold tormentor. The weight draped over his shoulders. A chuckle in his ear. The call of his name, an added fake compliment how he was doing so well—

“Jay.” Dennis’ sharp voice broke through his haze and shocked him back into the meeting room. “Could you write the suggestions down for me?”

Dennis, leading the meeting, stood in front of the whiteboard and held out one of the markers. He had a concerned look in his eyes and beckoned him over.

Jay pulled himself from his own swamp of anxiety and gratefully stood. “Yeah. Sure.” He accepted the marker and Dennis held it a split second longer than necessary. His focus was still on his discussion with Terry, but his eyes briefly snapped to Jay searching his for some form of assurance before he let go and stepped forward, resuming his talk.

Jay fully turned towards the board to hide his face. He squeezed his eyes closed for a second, let out a long exhale, and uncapped the marker, facing the group again.

Shk

Something pressed against his stomach, something cold, sharp. A sharp gasp and he made a tiny jump backwards. But he quickly calmed down again when he realised it was only the magnetic tray for the eraser stuck to the whiteboard.

As one of the other team members was speaking, Dennis slowly walked over to Peter, tapped on the table to get his attention and gestured his fingers down. Peter got the message and put his pen away. A little something about Dennis Jay greatly admired. He himself would never do that, scared of being accused of making a fuss about nothing, inviting confrontation. But Dennis not only did it, he did it without even saying a word, without making the other feel bad.

And best of all: he did it for Jay.

-

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @hurtmebeautifully @rougenoirofthepurpleterror

@susiequaz12 @whump-me-all-night-long @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @im-just-here-for-the-whump @restrainthenmaime

@freefallingup13 @whatwasmyprevioususername @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @firewheeesky @redstainedsocks

@whumpawink @break-so-beautifully @approach-me-and-ill-cry @painsandconfusion

@afabulousmrtake @wormwriting @soopytime @whumpedydump @pickleking8

@withdrawingramen @lolrpop @nugget4427 @light-me-on-pyre @treasureguardingdragon

[takaraphoenix]

with regards to your WIP folder. If you'd like to share anything about 'emergency contact'? Because the name alone is giving me so many whump possibilities for Stiles, that I'm wondering if you're pulling a bait and switch and it's Peter or Chris who has Stiles as his emergency contact…? Or is this a 5 + 1 fic where they all trade off having the brain cell?

AAAH THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY BAIT AND ASKING ABOUT MY FICS. I love talking about the things that live in my brain *^*

(Go visit my post about my WIP folder if ur curious what lives in my brain right now~)

OKAY SO. The thought behind it was that I don't think Stiles would put his dad as his emergency contact, because he never wants to be the reason why his father gets That Call from the hospital again. Stiles was there when his dad got That Call from the hospital about Claudia and he couldn't, he would want his dad to learn about his death from a kinder source, as morbid as that sounds.

So he picks his Alphas as his emergency contacts. And Peter and Chris learn about that when Stiles got into a regular, mundane car accident. Nothing supernatural to hunt down to avenge the boy, much to Peter's dismay, so all Peter and Chris can do is sit in that damn waiting room until Stiles gets out of surgery.

Also, I generally love writing characters being very loopy on pain meds so I think a loopy on pain meds Stiles would be adorable and endearing and a great way of getting Stetopher together ;D

And since I actually already started writing this one, have a little excerpt:

--

“Hello?” Chris’ voice was gruff, annoyed.

“Mister Argent?”

Chris’ brows furrowed at the foreign, feminine voice. “Yes.”

“Mister Christopher Argent?”

Peter was growing impatient in his lap and so was Chris. “Yes. Who is this?”

He already had to lean away from Peter, who was trying to steal the phone and throw it into a corner of the room, assuming – much like Chris at this point – that someone was trying to sell him something. He should have hung up right away when it wasn’t someone from the pack.

“This is Nurse Reynolds with the Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital. It’s about Mister Stilinski.”

Peter, with his fingers triumphantly wrapped around the edge of the phone, froze. So did Chris.

“W… What?” Chris forced out, swallowing hard. “Why…?”

“I’m sorry but I have to tell you that Mister Stilinski was in a car accident.”

Chris could see his own terror and fear mirrored in Peter’s face, the wolf’s hands having slipped to rest on Chris’ chest now, holding onto them. Stiles. Something had happened to Stiles.

[themculibrary]

Team As Family/Family Feels - GOTG Masterlist

A Good Old Tune Called Rocky Racoon (ao3) - RobynsRampage G, 4k

Summary: 5 times Peter sings to Groot, and one time he sings to his whole crew.

Ain't No Mountain High Enough (ao3) - BeanieBaby T, 9k

Summary: I kept him ‘cause he’s small and fits into spaces others can’t. Good for thievin'.

Crossfire of Stardom (ao3) - laylabinx N/R, 34k

Summary: "Human blood is an exceptionally rare material in these parts of the universe and can be used for many wonderful and terrible things. And your blood, my young friend," the voice lowers and hitches a little in an uncomfortable mixture of greed and reverence. "Your blood will fetch a very hefty price."

Gratuitous Peter!Whump within! Like there's so much whump is should be illegal.

Detonation Imminent (ao3) - KairosImprimatur pepper/tony, clint/natasha T, 61k

Summary: Peter and Rocket decide it's a good idea to snoop around Stark Tower before introducing themselves. Clearly there's no way this could go awry.

Dialling Tones (ao3) - Run_Ravager_Run T, 11k

Summary: Gamora is making calls in the middle of the night, Rocket is building dangerous contraptions at the breakfast table, Drax is a terrible cook, and Peter suspects his newfound family is rupturing at the seams.

If I (ao3) - Psilent (HereThereBeFic) groot/rocket N/R, 6k

Summary: The sick feeling never really goes away. It spikes and it wanes and during the waning periods it becomes a background noise that you learn to live with.

When it spikes, you take your guns apart, one by one or first-step-by-first-step, until it starts to die down.

Iron Meow (ao3) - SleepingReader background pepper/tony G, 16k

Summary: It’s rather a popular question on a lot of TV shows. ‘How many gifts from fans does an Avenger get in a week?’ Or on Buzzfeed: ‘Here’s our favourite Avengers fan art! Number 187 might surprise you!’

But all of the Avengers agree: Tony Stark gets the most drawings. Iron Man has become such a large part of the city itself, plus people know exactly where to send them. He collects them after shows, or on the spot. But his favourite gift wasn’t a drawing…

mr. blue sky, please tell us why (you had to hide away for so long) (ao3) - willinplaid gamora/peter T, 49k

Summary: Peter goes to Ego's planet on his own, a terrible idea. The rest of the Guardians don't take kindly to Peter getting hurt.

No Son of Mine (ao3) - Run_Ravager_Run kraglin/yondu M, 42k

Summary: Yondu Udonta is many things, but a good father ain't one of them - despite his best efforts.

In which making the shift from 'heavily abused Kree slave' to 'captain' to 'father' is a long and painful journey, for everyone involved.

Peter Quill and the (Mostly) Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (ao3) - rohanrider3 gamora/peter T, 98k

Summary: In which Ego is a jackass, Yondu gets (temporarily) mind-controlled, Peter survives an insane amount of insanity in a short period of time, it isn't wise to (SIMULTANEOUSLY) tick off the Guardians of the Galaxy, the Ravagers, and the Nova Corps...

Oh. Also, Meredith Quill is, somehow, back from the dead. And hurting her son? Yeah. You just made a _huge_ mistake.

(AU of Guardians Vol. 2 where Ego pulls a Xanatos Gambit and tries to distract Nova Corps, frame Yondu, and kill the Guardians before taking Peter. It doesn't go as well as he'd planned. Also, Mantis is a little younger in this version, about 13 or so.)

Take My Pain Away (ao3) - The_Forgotten_Nobody slight gamora/peter T, 16k

Summary: While stopping off for supplies, Peter is attacked by Ronan supporters who recognise the infamous Star-Lord. Near death, it is left to the other guardians to take care of him.

The Hard Way (ao3) - fayedartmouth T, 12k

Summary: Peter trusts his team. Except Peter doesn’t trust anyone.

unpack your heart (ao3) - aloneintherain T, 2k

Summary: Fill for this prompt: The Guardians are captured and Peter is taken to their captors to be questioned. Instead of torturing him, however, the interrogator injects him with a truth drug. Due to his hybrid nature, however, the serum works a little too well: Peter can't shut up and starts babbling whatever comes into his mind. Frustrated, his captors throw him back into the cell to let the serum wear off. Unfortunately, that means that the Guardians are stuck with a drugged up Peter who can't stop talking!

Peter talks about really painful and private stuff like how lonely he was before he met the team or how his childhood was really messed up and how unsure he is about his role as their leader.

When The Stars Come Calling (ao3) - lazywriter7 peter/tony M, 108k

Summary: how Tony Stark got his groove back, with the assistance of one Peter Quill.

Who's Your Daddy (ao3) - Run_Ravager_Run kraglin/yondu, groot/rocket, gamora/peter T, 6k

Summary: The Guardians don't need no father-figure. But as usual, Yondu didn't ask for permission.

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Hiiii!!! How're you doing? Good I hope!! ahh I'm seeing these amazing reblogs on your page and with College and my F1 brainrot I haven't been able to read Irondad fics 😭😭😭 is it okay if I ask you to give me some recommendations? preferable whump or sickfics (with fluff, lots of fluff) 👉🏼👈🏼 or like which fics did you enjoy the most this year/past 6 months 💙💙💙🩵🩵🩵🩵

Sorry for the delay in answering! I just needed to find the right time to really sit down and make a *good* list. Haha. Here is a list of what I've read recently and enjoyed a lot. Some of it fits better into your criteria than others, and some of them are still in progress, but here's the list! Don't forget to kudos and comment!!

[fic list with links below the cut!]

Paradigm shift by Bergen (T) In Progress (I love where this one is going! Lot's of fun surprises)

Peter got a Stark phone when he was ten. Adrian took him to a big store with lots of TV screens that all played the same video of Tony Stark declaring to the world that he was Iron Man. They ducked behind the microwaves, both of them giggling as Adrian stuffed the phone under Peter’s sweater.

They walked right out the door without tripping the alarm, and Adrian bought him ice cream to celebrate

After his parents die, Peter is taken in by the Toomes’ family. Things slowly, then quickly spiral out of control. All Adrian wants is to take revenge on Tony Stark. All Peter wants is to do the right thing. Why is that so much harder than expected?

Spaghetti and Red Wine by arthropodwithapen (M) In Progress (Lots of good whump moments but also some fluff and angst!)

After Peter's precarious position goes from bad to worse time and time again, he is left all alone with nothing but his anger and resentment at the world to keep him company. He wonders how much more he can take and whether the growing grudge between him and the Avengers will be enough to finish him off for good. Will he be able to complete his mission in time? Does he even want to anymore?

Of course. He is Spider-Man and he has a job to do. And he'll do it even if it kills him. For everyone else's sake.

Strands in the Rope series by Sara (ctrsara) @ctrsara (T) Complete (this whole series and its follow-up are super great. Lots of angst, misunderstandings, and of course, a whole ton of fluff)

A collection of insights starting after the events of Homecoming, mostly from Tony's perspective. The relationship that Tony and Peter had built by the time Infinity War happened (or not - I'm not a big fan) wasn't built on any big world-ending events, but on countless lab sessions, movie nights, smaller emergencies, and conversations. All of these combined to form a bond between them just as strong as blood ties, and just as unbreakable. I feel like we missed out on all that on-screen, so I can never read enough stories that would maybe cover that period. There is a follow-up series called, Unbroken Strands.

Please, Help Me by Muikelle (Not Rated) In Progress (So. Much. Whump.)

Mj watched as they pride apart the car. Her car. The only car she had, the one Tony had gifted her as a graduation gift. The car she and Peter first- well. Anyways. Then Peter was being moved out of it, and slow motion had taken over once more. She was standing to go get to him, he needed her. She needed him. But a man stopped her, told her to sit down, or something of the likes. She was pissed off when they closed the ambulance door and finally took off with her inside, she didn't need to be in there, she needed to be with Peter.

Or Mj and Peter get into a car crash when coming home from spring break.

Iron Dad: Coming Home by JAWorley (T) Complete (I just started reading this but so far it's really great!)

Cold, tired, hungry, and homeless, 14 year old Peter Parker gets taken in by Adrian Toomes and his crew. Mr. Toomes is a great guy who teaches Peter how to survive on the streets, and Peter loves him for it, despite that Mr. Toomes hates Peter’s hero Iron Man and says Tony Stark is out to line his own pockets by stepping on the little guy. When Iron Man appears one day and presents Spider Man with an opportunity too good to pass up, Peter finds himself having to make up his mind about what ‘helping the little guy’ really means. Peter also begins to find out some ugly truths about the things Adrian Toomes and his crew are making, and has to decide if the safety Toomes offers is worth throwing Spider Man’s mission and morals out the window. Can he find that same safety with Mr. Stark? So much of Peter’s future hangs in the balance and depends on the choices he makes. An anti-hero and an anti-villain are just one step over the same line in a different direction.

Double-sided Coin by kingdomfaraway @asyouleft (G) Complete (I have never read anything like this before and it was so so good!)

The Iron Man rarely had assignments that weren’t direct kill orders.

Usually he was given a weapon and a target, with the strict instructions of leaving no one alive, target and witness alike. They didn’t expect him to make too much conversation, to integrate himself into the person’s life, to find a way to gain the target’s trust. He was not a spy. He was a machine made to kill, to take down threats to HYDRA, and to preserve the Greater Good.

When the assignment came from high up to kidnap, not kill, a young boy, Peter Parker, he was a little baffled.

(or How to Make a Deadly Assassin Adopt You: A HYDRA!Tony fic)

How to Get Banned from Monaco (again) by niniblack @niniblack (T) Complete (This is so funny and so perfectly in character. I love it.)

Tony texts Rhodey before they leave for Monaco:

two rules for this trip

don’t let Peter out of your sight

don’t let him do anything Pepper would get mad about

Rhodey: that second one doesn’t leave many options

will you make me a lot of pancakes (when we meet again?) by Peng_Peng (G) Complete (This is some great Ironfam whump, right here!)

Five times hurting you + Five times receiving your kindness.

Peter knew from the first time they met that the kid wasn't going to like him. But Peter could do that. She was his first and only sister after all.

A New Point of View by waitingondaisies (T) Complete (This one is si so fun with lots of funny and serious moments. It's a good balance)

Peter rushes out of school to join Tony in fighting the aliens that appear over New York, leaving behind the problems that plague his life.

He ends up leaving them behind for far longer than expected when an alien substance causes him to swap bodies with Tony. They agree to live each other’s lives to keep the mishap under wraps, giving each of them an up-close and personal view of the other’s hidden problems.

Peter will come to learn that Tony’s life isn’t as glamorous as it appears, and Tony will come face to face with all of the things that Peter never told him about: bullies, unfair teachers, and economic struggles.

Saving the World Does Not a Hero Make by Azure_K_Mello (M) Complete (This isn't an Irondad fic so much as it's an older MCU/X-Men Crossover but I read it again recently because I love it so much)

Years ago, Tony Stark created a brutal weapon. Even when he was the Merchant of Death, he couldn’t bring himself to put it on the market. But, when S.H.I.E.L.D. learned of its existence, they wanted it. Deciding Spider-Man was the weakest link in Iron Man’s armor, Captain America, Black Widow and Falcon were sent to apprehend him — hoping he either knew where the weapon was or that they could trade him to Tony for it.

But, apprehending a fifteen-year-old is more correctly be termed as kidnapping. And what S.H.I.E.L.D. called interrogation was, in actuality, torture. And, when push came to shove, Peter had to save himself when no one else was going to help.

And my shameless self-promotion...

Threenager by happyaspie (G) Incomplete

While on patrol, Peter is struck by a spell that turns him into a toddler. Or mostly into a toddler. His memories, intellect, and experiences are still intact. Unfortunately, that makes being trapped in a toddler's body, with a toddler's motor skills that much harder. His legs are too short, and his fingers are too uncooperative. He can’t ride in the car without a super claustrophobic car seat. He can’t even wash his hands without help and it's all very frustrating. Between the teasing, Tony does his absolute best to help.

I could add so much more to this list, but I think I'll stop here. Haha. As far as sickfics go, @sicktember is coming up soon and I know *I* will have plenty to add to the genera during that event!! So be on the lookout for that, my friend! And Thank you so much for asking me to compile this list!!

[jinxquickfoot]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @16woodsequ. Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

82!! And that's counting the one-shot collections as 1 fic.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,572,787

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Still in Marvel, although I've had a few ideas around Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss that I probably would written if my MCU WIP list wasn't so impossibly long.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The One Where Peter is Bucky's Weakness

Let's Whump the Spider-Kid and Friends!

The One Where Peter is Tony's Weakness

You're Always Spider-Man

The One Where Clint is Tony's Weakness

You guys really like it when I kidnap Peter Parker.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Of course!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Worst Thing, it's the only ending I wouldn't call 'happy'. I labelled it 'bittersweet' instead, which I think is fitting. Actually Dollhouse also is a strong contender.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Let's Whump the Spider-Kid and Friends! teeters on the edge of soppy. Everyone is alive post-Endgame, Peter gets a prom with all the Avengers and his high school friends, and the Spider-Kid in question gets a whole month of rest.

In hindsight, I wrote that fic during pretty extreme burnout (that I am now thankfully over), and I can see my need for rest and care just bleeding through Peter in those final chapters. I'm so grateful we both got what we needed.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not for a long time, since the debates over Civil War have... if not settled, maybe don't hold as much interest as they used to.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet, but I think I might be brave and include some Winterhawk smut in the Heart of Stone series.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I've come across one or two with eerily similar premises and wondered, but I've never followed up. Tropes are tropes for a reason.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not a translation but Hair is Everything has a podfic!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many! And tried to many at the same time which was a mistake, but I'm so glad I've gotten to work with so many incredible authors:

The One Where Clint is Steve's Weakness with @16woodsequ

The One Where T'Challa is Shuri's Weakness with @fluencca

The One Where Bruce is Thor's Weakness with @onwardmeteors

The One Where Peter is Peter's Weakness with @spagbol99

The One Where Bucky is Steve's Weakness with @usaonetwothree

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Winterhawk aka Clint/Bucky has my heart forever and ever, but I have a soft spot for Clint/Matt and Wanda/Vision as well. Outside of Marvel, I love reading for Stede/Ed, Husk/Angel, Caleb/Essek and Buck/Eddie.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

If I've posted it, I'll finish it (I swear, I know I haven't touched the Whumptoberverse in three years). I do have an outline for something called the Amendment trilogy which I thought had some promise, but I've done so many Civil War Fix-Its now I doubt it has anything original to say these days.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't think my plot twists are too shabby, and I like to think that I find new things to say about well-worn characters and tropes. I'm also pretty damn good at structure, but that's because I studied and practised the hell out of it. Oh and occasionally I like to think I'm funny, especially when writing for Tony.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I focus too much on getting a fic done than letting it breathe. I've been told several times the ending to The One Where Peter is Bucky's Weakness is disappointing, and I agree. I was ready to get out of there so I Game of Throned it instead of spending a good 5-10 chapters wrapping that fic up properly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Short bits are fine if you pop the translation in the end notes. If not, I like to just say something like, "He switched to Russian [continues dialogue in English]."

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCU and we're still going, baby.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

AH okay I want to include all those I co-wrote but that feels like cheating, because what I like about those fics is often what other people brought to them.

I used to say Budapest and that's still a strong contender. But I actually love The One Where Clint is Sam's Weakness, specifically the final chapter. The idea of mistakes and regrets and choices not making you who you are is a very personal thing for me. Clint saying "You’re my hero, Kate." might be my favorite line I've ever written in a fic. Sometimes the simplest ones are the best.

Low pressure tag: @fluencca @usaonetwothree @queenofalotofdifferentworlds @spagbol99 @teeelsie-posts

[moonlightcrusader]

Ooh im already thinking about another octodad fic😭 so i have a series on ao3 called "peter parker whump" and it goes through a bingo list of peter (raimi peter) pretty much suffering from something different every story (poor boy)

I think my next prompt will be "amnesia" but im wondering whether i would have peter have amnesia, or otto, or both, (maybe from being attacked? Or a lab injury?) Im not sure what would be more angsty...i want tbe angstiest 🫣

If you guys have any requests for fics or headcannons , send them my way hehe

[runawaymun]

Hi so I just binged your fics and adore them, I love “kids get sane adults and overcome trauma and feel safe” fics

And I was wondering if it was inspired by any other fics you could recommend? Especially Tolkien

aaa I'm so glad you like them! thank you!

The adoptive family trope is a trope that is incredibly near and dear to my heart and weirdly underexplored in the LOTR fandom tbqh. You'd think there would be more of it. I get this question a lot and unfortunately I must repeat that my toxic trait is that I am incredibly picky when it comes to the fics I read, and that And the Stars Shine the Same was actually started in a blind rage after scouring the internet for anything like it, and finding that most of them over-simplified the healing process or grossly mischaracterized Elrond OR turned out to be romantic in the end (but like not in a good way). So unfortunately I have very few fics I can recommend.

In terms of well-written fic that you might like if you like my work, as always, I recommend pretty much anything @jaz-the-bard has written when it comes to Elrond & kidnap fam adjacent material (and just...good fic...in general...hngg). @potatoobsessed999 (potatoesanddreams on AO3) has some really lovely genfic, and I literally cannot recommend @idrilsscribe's Under Strange Stars series enough. The Ever-Fixed Star series is an incredible set of Elrond-adjacent (but mostly Feanorian-centric) fics by @eirianerisdar that deal with themes of forgiveness, family, redemption, and healing and they remain just about some of my favorite fics of all time <3 I also will continue to endlessly rec @thatfeanorian's All the Ways to Love which is not gen, but does include just really excellent Russingon slowburn trauma recovery re: Feanor is The Worst Dad Ever and Maedhros' self-esteem is a dumpster fire, and Fingon is Best Boy (of course!).

For other fandoms I recently blitzed through I've Been Holding Back Tears (While You're Throwing Back Beers) by im_your_mom_now which is just unabashed Peter Parker AU whump with Tony being a very worried and concerned adult (trying to be a worried and concerned adoptive dad but of course it's Tony and he's emotionally constipated so he's not going to outright admit that he feels like Peter is his son which is just CHEFS KISS) It's actually incredibly well written -- like I don't normally go for Marvel anything but I just couldn't resist. It hit all my sweet spots for me and I really am a softie for Dad!Tony with Peter. <3 It's incredibly anti aunt-May though, fair warning.

Yeah that's mostly what I have for you! If any of my followers wants to chime in -- as always drop your recs on this post for anon :)

[flowerslut]

Popped on to wish you a speedy and healthy recovery from your procedures 🖤

Also, thank you for updating Roots, and I hope it’s because you wanted to and not because you felt you had to. Please put yourself first right now 🖤

But since you updated…I wanted to say on first read this is my instinctive raw gut reaction without analysis…I was loving you having Jasper come back to himself so much…when he first recognises Edward, then when he sees Emmett - the burst of rage and regret and guilt he has! Remembering Alice, running to check on her… until a certain someone snapped him back into his automatic response and the thought he had….makes me feel sick. But I know he wouldn’t do that to Alice, and you mentioned something in your tags about infidelity not being a tag..

(I also hope Alice didn’t see that particular vision with her fragile state right now, would not be helpful for her)

I’m really hoping you let him come back to himself soon and see Alice even though it’ll rip our poor troubled Jasper’s heart out at seeing her like that/knowing what was done to her 💔

My heart is breaking for Rosalie!

And being the Peter/(Charlotte RIP) stan I am, I kind of lowkey love the fact he was stinking of venom and rot because that screams to me that he carried and held Alice all the way back home and we love that for his character 🖤

tldr; take care of yourself and Roots is better than the entire plot of The Twilight Saga altogether, sending positive vibes and all the Jalice love 🖤

Clara x

(PS, I may be back with a more in depth analysis once I’ve reread this chapter after some sleep after a 12 hour working day)

thank you so much!!!! I'm feeling better every day and I'm in good spirits so that's a huge plus!! and omfg lmfaooo don't worry!! every single time I've worked hard to squeeze in a roots update is because I'm fucking feral about this story and I LOVE thinking about it and posting it and talking about it etc etc!! 🥰 for as obsessed with roots as everyone says they are, just know that I'm over here also feeling the same stuff!!! sure there's a sense of obligation there since I like posting regular updates but it's 10000% percent because I love! to write!!! and I love! the fics!! I write!!!!

gonna reply to the rest under a cut bc of spoilers! ♡

don't worry, if jasper's disorientation/current mental state is making you feel sick or nervous or anxious then that means my job here is done 💀 this poor man is still trying to mesh the good (his current life) with the bad (his past life) in his brain and it's causing a full fracture to happen. we (jalice stans) often talk a lot about jasper's trauma because it's a really interesting subject to dive into, but being able to write and explore a traumatized character going through psychosis has always been something I like to explore in fanfic and with characters I like (who are all very traumatized individuals. hm. wonder what that says about me 💀)

anyways you'll have a better idea of what alice is and isn't seeing two chapters from now! but don't worry, I will give you one assurance and say that this past chapter (48) is as disoriented as jasper gets in the fic. he starts clearing up more little by little as the story progresses. unfortunately, I can't say the same about alice

and poor rosalie oh my godddd :( I think that whumping emmett (or renesmee, if we're being real here) is probably the best way to get rosalie to break down. and rosalie is interesting because she's so quick to anger. but when there's no immediate target for that anger, and when the person she loves more than anything is in such a state, you can only imagine what she's going through right now. (which is why edward's current job is keeping rosalie from trying to fight maria because she badly needs something to tear into) you definitely get a little more peter & alice content in the next alice chapter, but not a wild amount. peter's main job right now is 'keep alice alive' and if that means having to begrudgingly follow maria's orders...well, he'll do it, but he won't like it...

thank you again for always being so sweet!! I'm so happy you and other people love this story so much! it feels so good to have a fic that I was insane about for a year straight finally infect my readers in the same way that it did me 💀 I can't wait for you guys to have the full thing by the end of the year!!!!!!! thanks again! ♡

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Could you rank Loki versions you know (marvel and non marvel alike) on a scale of favorite to least favorite?

I'll limit to my top 10 and my one least favorite because it's hard, and emotional attachment factors into this rather than how well-executed they are.

strandedinmidgard's blog-Back when I was in high school and early college, and Tumblr blog archives and asks could be accessed without an account, I would send asks to a blog called strandedinmidgard. It's still up, but not very active. Wonderful art and humor. Try to guess which asks were mine. I didn't have a Tumblr account back then yet I would frequent that blog.

Thor & Loki: Blood Brothers (aka "Loki (2004)" on readcomiconline)-Changed my brain chemistry. I am that bastard old man's number one defender. He's so tragic!!! If you read a comic with Marvel!Loki, make sure this one's included. Especially if you love grimdark things.

American Gods-Brief yet compelling antagonists. Has great dialogue and provides great prison advice. Quite mysterious.

MCU-He's kinda adorable? The best part of movies I'd have not liked otherwise (*cough* Avengers). Looks so pretty when he cries, which makes me want to make him cry. Keeps sacrificing himself. Good for whump material. Got me into Norse mythology by making me curious enough to read the Wikipedia page for it.

Ikol (Marvel comics)-They have a very tragic origin as a copy of the original earth-616 Loki. I love characters that fight against destiny. Pretty fun. They're very stylish too.

The Bifrost Incident-I love her voice, and I was introduced to this album because I hosted the "Tournament of Lokis." The verdict was that she is the best Loki.

Loki: A Bad God's Guide to Being Good. It's Diary of a Wimpy Kid but with Norse mythology! Loki is turned into a child for his misdeeds. It is also not afraid to have sincere moments and character development.

Black Wolf : The Binding of Loki-This Loki is a terrible person but he's very interesting and reads like a force of nature more than anything. It was a well-written yet very long book.

Son of the Mask-Terrible movie, but I felt I owed him for making me feel better about myself through him being a flawed deity and for introducing me to the concept of polytheism. I had too much anxiety over going to hell as a kid over lies I had to tell. Helped me in a weird way.

Valhalla comics-Peter Madsen. This are a somewhat more child-friendly re-telling of Norse myths but with a lot of slapstick humor.

Least favorite:

ROR. I just hate that anime and I am not a fan of the designs. The concept sounds lazy to me. The weird Adam battle made me cringe. I only watched some episodes years ago cus my dad will watch anything.

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 020: The Dark Wings of Death (ASM 126-128)

MASTERPOST

In this set of issues, we see fun crumbs of upcoming stuff, a very interesting mystery plot (if you're reading 127-128 for the first time, do try to solve it!), and secret lesbians (maybe, nobody's sure).

That's a mood whiplash if I see one.

This batch begins with the totally not-goofy-nor-lame Kangaroo, who this time has SUPER-POWERS (the cover says so)!

See?

Some producers ask Spidey to star in an ad, and if you're an old-time reader you'll remember something similar happened before and didn't go so well. He's not tempted either. Meanwhile, the Kangaroo (who last appeared ish 81) meets up with Jonas Harrow (who we saw in 114, he's the one who experimented on Hammerhead).

On campus, Professor Warren pops up to tell the readers that he's totally not about to become an important character, and Peter is an ass to MJ and Flash. Oh, what else is new!

Our dear old Jonas is clueless because as soon as the Kangaroo gets powers, he leaves to deal with Spidey instead of listening to him.

Spidey accepts to do the car ad and requires Johnny Storm's help. I always thought he had the pose of a naked anime girl in any opening ever. I'm curious about the new costume, though. I wonder when it came to pass... Oh, but the Internet has the answer! "From 1973 to 1975, Johnny incorporated a red uniform into his wardrobe in an homage to the original Silver Age Human Torch." And I get more information here: "As a child, Johnny Storm had read comic books about the World War II Human Torch and idolized him. After gaining similar powers and taking his name, Johnny decided for a short time that he would take on a costume similar to that of his android hero."

As shown in the preview of this post, while Spidey's about to discover the greatest invention of last century, Jonah's son is hanging on (continuity, nice!).

So the Kangaroo dies by radiation, anyway. It would be tragic if the character wasn't such a buffoon.

And MJ tries her best, as usual, but Harry ignores her...

Because he's too busy pretending his father's contempt for him was ever worth anything. Anyway, I love how those boots are drawn.

Classic Sunset Spidey!!!

In the readers' letters, we get a very interesting (and funny in hindsight) comment from the writers.

I can finally feel than the bigger number of pages is great. The story's allowed to breathe, we both get a lot of fight AND some drama. It's good!

That's kind of an iconic cover! The questions (although we already know for Harry...), MJ's wild outfit (her pants!!!)... It's a great cover.

In this issue, Peter looks a bit too much like an 80s rugged hunk to my taste.

Okay Mr. Schwarzenegger. Whatever you say.

So Peter keeps being an ass, almost to an absurd degree. Boy, you need to learn empathy and compassion. I do appreciate a good undressing though so keep going please.

The Vulture is the murderer but Peter's wet dreams about Johnny Storm are much more interesting to me.

Because things aren't getting better any time soon on the Parksborn front, you know.

Peter gets him and Flash into an accident because he's a menace (it's actually because the Vulture just took MJ away) and thus, the Flash whump continues (I'm into that!).

The hero and the villain fight, Spidey saves MJ, they get in a lab...

I love her design, don't know why.

WHAT AN ICONIC MOMENT.

The Vulture wants to make Spidey his boytoy, and behind a tree...

Those panels of Harry wishing Spidey's death have stayed in my mind ever since I saw them the first time. Incredibly striking, and exciting for the reader who can't help but want a fight between these two--for the Green Goblin remains a delightful villain, even with Harry's traits.

Anyway, I was checking a certain website to see reactions (because comicdom is so sparse that it's hard to see reactions to specific issues)...

6 years ago!!! And under that, the comments are just as shocked.

I should check THOSE comments more often because they're also pretty funny.

Meanwhile, in the readers' letters...

The next and last issue of this batch (128) opens with Spidey falling from the sky, too high to shoot webs at a building. Once again, incredibly iconic.

Also, welcome to 1974! What a way to start the year. The last year I've read fully! But I read a whole bunch of 1975 so we'll see what new material we get there...

So Spidey gets out of the predicament in the usual fashion (if you can't swing, web up a hammoc) and goes back to the lab where the shadiest character design I've ever seen in this magazine also coincidentally is there.

They keep mentioning coke, which wasn't the case when "Stan Lee" (and whoever else helped...) wrote the lines.

Another gorgeous character design.

So are they lesbians or twins? Or both? You decide, Pete.

Ned Leeds hasn't had a role for a while (just you wait, honey) but he's sure looking like a stud right there.

Peter is still being an ass to MJ.

And Spidey eventually susses out everything and tells all, like Professor Layton would. This is actually quite an experimental story, given than the reveal that Dr Shallot is the new Vulture is just as bonkers as me just revealing this that way.

I had completely forgotten about everything, but goddamn, what an interesting set of issues. I'd say the plotting is masterful because the magazine really never expects its readers to be that smart. Hmm.

(I was convinced the victim was her twin though... What's up with them swapping outfits? Was that intentional, on whose part? Since they're not twins, I will assume lesbians.)

Let's check the comments :-)

I can't post any picture since I reached the limit (would you believe it!) but I CAN copy/paste!

"Brace yourselves, the Jackal leads to some of the really weird and convoluted plots."

YES. Very compelling though.

In the next batch: The Punisher and the Jackal are introduced, and we also get a long-awaited wedding! The 70s just keep on being iconic, it never stops!

[penna-nomen]

This Showrunner’s Challenge fascinated me, so @silbrith and I talked through it in our recent writing retreat, using White Collar as the fandom.

We went through two rounds. The first was starting fresh with the canon material, and the second looked at how I would approach it in our White Collar AU, Caffrey Conversation. It was a lot of fun, so I want to share the results with you. I want to keep spoilers to a minimum, so I focused on season 1 of WC.

Overview:

Round 1: Honestly, the WC writers did most of this in the first season. 

Round 2: Honestly, in an AU that’s nearing 3 million words, we’ve done most of this, too. I focused on stories I wrote, but we could do this for Silbrith’s stories, too

The details: Below is the original challenge and how we aligned it to WC and CC.

Begin writing a fanfic. 

1 Everything at once. (we treated this as starting the story)

Round 1: The White Collar pilot

Round 2: The first story in the CC series

2 Product placement! 

Round 1: Peter’s car. Obviously there was a product placement deal regarding the Ford Taurus in the first seasons. Other product placement opportunities included coffee. Or in S1E2 “Threads” there could have been ads for a line of clothing or for Project Runway.

Round 2: CC Story #2 “Choirboy Caffrey” mentioned a rental car and that would have been ideal product placement. I had a Toyota in mind but I don’t remember if I mentioned the brand.

3 Fan favorite. Your most recently mentioned character (or named object) is now beloved by the audience. You must give it a bigger part in the story

Round 1: S1E4 “Flip of the Coin” gives El a larger part because her best friend needed help, so we see her at the FBI offices.

Round 2: In CC story #4 “By the Book” OC Henry gets his moment to shine.

4 Executive meddling. You must change to a different genre. 

Round 1: S1E3 “Book of Hours” has a lot of focus on miracles and a book that can supposedly heal. When I first watched that episode, I wondered if the show was veering into a supernatural genre.

Round 2: CC story #38 “A Caffrey Christmas Carol” sent the characters into sci-fi territory.

5 Audiences are craving more coziness. The next chapter must be completely low stakes and set you at ease. 

Round 1: S1E12 “Bottlenecked” – okay, I don’t remember much about this episode, but the main plot is a competition to fool an expert into believing a newly created bottle of wine is actually a couple hundred years old. 

Round 2: CC story #68 “Movie Night” was mostly about a competition to pick the best movie for viewing at a holiday gathering.

6 Audiences are craving more suspense. The next chapter must take place entirely in a single location, ideally just a single room, and build tension with every exchange of dialog. 

Round 1: S1E8 “Hard Sell” spends much of the episode at an estate on Long Island with a particularly suspenseful scene in a room that is rapidly running out of air.

Round 2: CC story #5 “Caffrey Envoy” is set almost entirely in the WC offices, although there are flashbacks to a townhouse in D.C. The scenes of Neal and an Air Force officer in Hughes’ office, viewed by Peter through the glass wall, had some suspense. But I had more suspense in CC story #9 “Caffrey Disclosure” in the scenes where they have a bad guy with a hostage cornered in a warehouse.

7 Audiences are craving more action. The next chapter needs to involve at least one extended fight scene. 

Round 1: S1E13 “Front Man” included some Neal whump. I’d have to go into later seasons for a true fight scene – I’m thinking of the one between Neal and Keller during The Treasure arc, where Peter comes to the rescue.

Round 2: CC story #7 “Caffrey Flashback” included a fair amount of action, such as a life-or-death rush to the hospital, a chase scene in the hospital, and someone stealing Peter’s gun and using it to threaten someone in the hospital. Plus there is a flashback to a child struggling against an abductor. And Peter shoots someone. Fight scenes really aren’t my thing, though, so I can't think of an example of hand-to-hand combat.

8 Audiences are craving more romance. The next chapter needs to involve a deep, sappy confession of either love or admiration 

Round 1: S1E10 “Vital Signs” contains the “You’re the only one I really trust” scene between Peter and Neal. It doesn’t get better than that.

Round 2: CC story #54 “Lavender Dreams” has a wedding, many references to couples in Jane Austen novels, and a proposal. 

9 Go to the most recent line in your fic that references a brand. Due to ongoing legal action, that brand cannot be mentioned again, but you score 1 audience point every time you allude to it in a way that paints it in a negative light. 

Round 1: It would have been easy to add this to S1E7 “Free Fall” by turning the diamond theft into a lesson about blood diamonds and the diamond trade.

Round 2: This one’s tough because I’ve tried to avoid mentioning brand names in fic. CC story #6 “Written in the Stars” mentions Star Wars, which gets mentioned again in later stories, so that could be an option.

10 The two most recently mentioned characters' actors have, IRL, gone through a VERY messy divorce or friend breakup. You cannot put them in the same scene, but they must both remain relevant parts of the show.  

Round 1: It would have been easy to add this to S1E9 “Bad Judgement” and later episodes in S1. Agent Fowler has an important role, but he’s also getting into trouble at the FBI so he’s working behind the scenes. So that could work if the actors portraying him and Peter had a beef.

Round 2: CC story #9 “Caffrey Disclosure” would work well for this. A lot of the plot focuses on looking for OC Henry, who is working behind the scenes, so a friend breakup between the actors portraying him and Neal works. There’s also a section in the middle of the story where Neal is traveling and only catches up with Peter over the phone, so that could have been a temporary friend breakup between those two actors.

11 The most recent negative event is now the center of a very real IRL news story. You must immediately pivot away from all plotlines involving it and, if possible, also find away to apologize for even thinking to include it. 

Round 1: I went with The Treasure arc in season 2 for this, tying back to fans being upset about the source of the treasure.

Round 2: In CC story #4 “By the Book” and following stories there were originally references to a series about a school of wizardry, and I replaced those references with a fictional series when I learned what the author had been up to.  

12 The most recently mentioned character's actor has decided to leave the show. You must write them out in the next chapter.

Round 1: S1E14 “Out of the Box” – No details in this post, to avoid spoilers for people currently watching on Netflix

Round 2: an OC who had a big role in the story dies in #9 “Caffrey Disclosure”

You win if you can complete the fic in a state of relative coherency.

Conclusion: Are White Collar and Caffrey Conversation coherent? Maybe not always, but they are fun!

Thanks for following along!

There should be a fanfic writing game called the showrunners challenge where someone writes a story and partway through someone else can play things like "actor leaves after 4000 more words" or "topic now too politically sensitive due to unforeseen world events" or "lost rights to that reference"

[comfortlesshurt]

September 2024 Stats Update

Here we are again! Hit my big goal this month, but this is the first I'm getting a chance to look at much of anything else that's changed since the end of August.

Discussion of AO3/FFN stats under the cut. You can block #stats update if seeing these posts once a month will bug you!

Main goal: VLD word count greater than Spider-Man. Current progress: 51,386/100,258 (51.25%) Note on this one: now that I'm editing older fics, SM word count may change a little bit. I've only gotten WORDIER since I wrote those fics, so I expect a slight increase for every fic I finished editing. That's also where a little bit of the bump to VLD came from, but most of it is actual new fics.

We are actively in the experimental phase now, but this is a single-blind study so those will stay a secret until I'm done.

Time Period: September 2nd, 2024 to September 30th, 2024

AO3

I got that quarter of a million total hits I've been aiming for! Very exciting stuff. My next big milestones are 300k hits, 2k bookmarks, and 200k total published words.

Published word count delta: +3,134 across two new works and zero existing works

Work subscriptions delta: +1

New hits: 2,311

New kudos: 149

Comments delta: +6

Works bookmarks delta: +26

User subscriptions delta: +1 (maybe they forgave me for not spam-updating Augusnippets this month)

FFN

This site was extra frustrating this month since the spam AI art bots finally found me, but I stayed strong and did NOT delete my FFN. Might be turning off messaging over there soon though...

User favs delta: 0

User alerts delta: +1

Published word count delta: +3,154

New profile views: 15

New reviews: 0

New story views: 662

C2 delta: 0

Story favs delta: +7

Story alerts delta: +2

Single-Point AO3 Data: September 30th, 2024

Newer Fic Achievements

Not much new this month! I was lost in the sauce with LTS(LTFH) which is nowhere near being posted, but I did get a couple more oneshots up.

What are you wondering? (What do you know?): top 10% comment conversion & #1 for bookmark conversion

On it, yes, indeed (on it, watch me bleed): top 10% comment conversion & bookmark conversion

Nowhere to call home (so I'll pack and run away): #2 for comments, top 10% for subs conversion & #1 for comment conversion

Older Fic Achievement

5 Times Peter Struggled with Spider Metabolism: special shoutout for (despite being published for over 6 years now) being in the top 10% for hits/day and kudos/day. I'm pretty sure someone put this on a rec list again recently because it seems like it's been popular lately.

Top 10% by...

Comments:

5 Times Peter Struggled with Spider Metabolism

Nowhere to call home (so I'll pack and run away)

5 Times Lance Doesn't Matter

Whump Bingo

We are the reckless (we are the wild youth)

Smiling 'cause you're used to it (a house that's always haunted)

Again, not many changes to the top 10%s this month, BUT my published fic count went up, so the top 10% is now 6 items instead of 5. Also again, it hasn't been long enough since the last all-time stats review, but that should hopefully have some changes by the end of October.

And that's all I've got for this month. Really, the most exciting thing at this point is getting those experiments started.

[natromanoffsgfs]

Hydra AU

At 6 years old, the son of Tony and Pepper Stark, Peter, is kidnapped, never to be seen again. Or, so they thought. Ten years later, while raiding a HYDRA base, the Avengers come across a new, enhanced individual, working for the enemy: in black spandex, with a tendency to stick to walls and shoot webs from his wrists, the Black Spider is a pain in the ass in more ways than one.

(139k words)

Summary: Doing the right thing shouldn’t be this hard, right? That’s what Peter told himself day in and day out, but the world decided to still make his life more miserable (Thanks Parker Luck ™). That was until a knight in shining armor (well it had to be shining if it was bright red) literally fell out of the sky and disturb his perfectly good sleeping arrangements. ……. Or my take on a Peter Parker Hydra AU (65k words)

Tony Stark goes on a mission with the Avengers to infiltrate a discovered HYDRA base. He has orders to kill everyone involved with the operation and he plans to follow those...until he comes across a 16 year old kid with curly brown hair and brown eyes who has spent the last 9 years as HYDRA's prisoner. Instead, Tony helps him escape and they slowly grow closer. But Peter can't truly escape his past; it seems to follow him wherever he goes and put the people he cares about in danger

(257k words)

Finding a compromise between nearly a dozen superheroes and the entirety of the United Nations was a...difficult task, to say the least. Difficult, but not impossible. But with the Accords eventually handled and the Avengers sticking together as a team, the world can remain well protected. Things are going smoothly until a string of robberies and murders comes back with ties to HYDRA, and the Avengers are thrown back into a war they'd thought was long since won.

Meanwhile, HYDRA is rebuilding itself using research stolen from Oscorp with the help of their newest threat - Asset 1562, the boy once known as Peter Parker.

But what happens when their supposed weapon meets the heroes? Things don't always go as planned when it comes to the Avengers.

(215k words)

Peter Parker has been living in HYDRA ever since his parents died at age four. All he can remember are the lessons HYDRA taught him and a series of words that strike fear into his heart. The only thing driving him forward are the memories of meeting his hero The Winter Soldier when he was seven and the goal to one day be as great an assassin as him.

At age sixteen Peter finds himself tangled in the lives of the Avengers and can't help but wonder if there's more to life than what he's been told.

Tony wants to help him, no matter what.

(140k words)

If he was being honest with himself, he was slightly terrified of the skinny boy standing in front of him, who looked as relaxed as he could possibly be, so naturally, Tony stuck out his hand for the boy to shake, ignoring the slight twitch from him at the sudden movement. “Tony Stark.”

“I know,” the boy said. His voice was quiet, calm, but he sounded like he’d seen a lot more than someone of his age ever should, and his eyes, brown and soulful, carried the same message.

“This is usually when you tell me your name, kid,” Tony prompted.

“Oh, right,” the boy said hurriedly. “It’s Peter. I’m Peter.”

~~~~

OR

The oh-so-overdone HYDRA Peter trope that literally no one asked for, but we delivered anyway. Featuring shameless Peter whump, way too much angst to be healthy, and a bucketload of Irondad and Spiderson fluff.

(244k words)

“W-what’s happening?” whispered Peter. He wiggled around on his bed, trying to shrug the hand off his shoulder. “Get off me!”

“Calm down, son,” said the other man. “We’re going to get you out of here.”

“Captain America? Get me out of here?” asked Peter, squinting his eyes and tilting his head. Iron Man hoisted him out of bed, and the covers went with him, hitting the floor by Peter’s feet. “Oh cool, I’m being kidnapped.”

“Not exactly the term I would use.”

OR

The Avengers rescue Peter from a Hydra base ran by his father, Richard Parker, except Peter doesn't really see it as a rescue, and has trouble settling into a new life away from Hydra and his father at the Avengers compound.

OR

Peter learns how to be an actual teenager, live life, and put his abusive past behind him, and Tony learns how to be a father.

(30k words)

When the Avengers find a malnourished, traumatized, enhanced teen in a Hydra base, they manage to convince SHIELD that the kid is better off in the Compound than the SHIELD Headquarters.

Peter Parker thinks his luck might finally be changing for the better, until he hears a conversation between Captain America and Iron Man that terrifies him--if the superheroes find out that Peter was an assassin for Hydra, he feels certain they'll kick him out--or worse, send him to the Raft for a punishment he surely deserves.

Can the Spider manage to keep his bloodied past a secret from a room full of mind readers, spies and military? It'll certainly prove harder than he'd thought.

(72k words)

broken wing. - Chapter 1 - katified - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]

Despite Steve's best attempts, Hydra survived and is recovering; however, during what appeared at first to be a routine raid, the Avengers discover what—or who—may be the key to dismantling the organization for good. Unfortunately, these things are never easy, as their most promising lead refuses to cooperate.

(83k words)

Whispers in the Dark - Chapter 1 - StellaLuna365 - The Avengers (Marvel Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

May and Ben are brutally murdered when HYDRA agents break into Peter Parker's home, seeking the super soldier serum rediscovered by his parents. Now on the run from HYDRA, carrying the formula and desperate to keep it and himself safe, the Avengers take him in for protection. Is he just another job for the Avengers, or will the heroes finally become the family he's always needed?

Meanwhile, HYDRA lurks, and despite the Avengers' overwhelming desire to keep Peter safe, they aren't so easily dissuaded. The adversary is everywhere, and they are just getting started.

(219k words)

Thousands of Agonies - im_your_mom_now - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]

In thousands of agonies—I exist." __

Hydra kidnapped Peter Parker when he was three. Known only as the Variable, he grows up in the organization, learns their ways, and becomes something more than just human. Upon coming to the realization that Hydra isn't working for the greater good, he escapes and tries to audition for the Avengers. The problem is, they just won't take him seriously.

__

OR: Hydra kidnapped Peter Parker when he was young and raised him into a compliant assassin with spider powers.

(29k words)

[graceful-starker]

Hey, this is the anon that sent you the request for jealous!Tony. Your writing is fantastic and I like how you characterized Wade, bubbly and not his usual level of crazy.

If you're still taking prompts, how about a look into Tony and Peter's home life? Are they attending uni in NY? Do they visit home? Are Tony's parents alive this in AU? Is Ben alive? Is Peter Spiderman?

I think it would also be interesting to see how Peter and Tony would take their hiatus from each other. I'm wondering how dark you want the AU to be because I could totally see a sexuality crisis alongside Howard's parenting pushing Tony to either doing hard drugs for the first time, or overdosing for the first time.

Peter’s Boyfriend Chapter Three: Fall/Thanksgiving Break.

Summary: we need a little insight into our character’s home lives. This is mostly fluff and filler, but the end has some very important plot points.

Warnings: angst/whump, homophobia, abusive parenting, internalized issues, past minor character death, drug use, underage drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, fights, etc. I don’t think anything else major should be tagged, but please don’t hesitate to let me know if there is!

Notes: this AU is a non-power AU, so no one is any super hero. It’s supposed to be just them if they were around the same age and went to the same college. They are, in fact, attending a NY college! Idk if I want it to be a real college or a pretend one that exists only for this AU, I’m not sure it matters too much. The rest of your questions shall be answered in the fic!

Also: if you want to read this in chronological order: read The Big Three: Ch. 1-3, and technically folklore fits in ambiguously, but it isn’t that important to the over all arc. As always, this can be read as a stand-alone fic if you want! ❤️

~~~

Peter smiles as he walks through the door, tip-toeing as he puts his vacation bag down and locks the door as quietly as humanly possible.

No use, of course.

“Peter!” He hears from the living room, and suddenly his aunt is tackling him into a bear hug.

Peter laughs, hugging his aunt back and kissing her cheek. “I missed you too, May!”

May laughs and pulls back, dusting his shirt off of invisible dirt, just taking him in. “I’m missed you so much, it’s too long!”

“It was two months, May,” he teases with a laugh, letting her try and flatten his hair to be tidier.

May tsks, pulling away again. “Yes, but I used to see you every day!” She sighs and grabs his bag, taking it to Peter’s old bedroom happily. Peter follows, feeling bad she’s carrying it for him. “And I only get to have you here for a week now!” She sighs sadly, hoisting the suitcase on the bed. “Well, let’s make the most of it!”

Peter grins, pulling her into another hug. He really loves his aunt so much. “Agreed. What’s first?”

May hums and pulls her glasses off her hair to rest on her nose. She pretends to read a to do list. “Hm, let’s see…yes, I think we will start with coffee and life updates. How’s that sound?”

Peter grins, nodding his assent. “Let’s do it!”

~

Peter laughs softly, both hands cupping the mug as he listens to May’s stories. When she goes for a sip, he copies her. This coffee shop is nice, he thinks. Homey.

“Enough about me,” May starts, waving her hand dismissively. “What’s happened with you? Have you made any friends? Joined any clubs? How are your classes? Your professors?”

Peter laughs again, putting a hand on hers. “You have to let me answer a question before asking me another one,” he giggles, enjoying the way May blushes and smiles.

“Fine, fine. Go ahead, I’ll save my questions!” She starts sipping, as if that’s proof she won’t speak again.

He grins and takes a sip of his own before talking. “I’ve made loads of friends actually, I love all of them! I joined the photography club, which is a lot of fun. I take pictures for the school newspaper.” May ‘ooooo’s happily, leaning closer to take in his words. “My classes are great, I met some friends there too…and um…I actually met my uh…I met someone in my chemistry class.”

May gasps and lights up, holding her cup more tightly. “Yeah? Tell me everything!”

Peter bites his lip, taking a long sip to stall. But she gets impatient, so he sighs and looks down into the coffee as he talks. “Well um…you know. Very much my type, you know? Funny, light-hearted…”

May nods. “Smart?” She asks, tapping her fingers.

Peter blushes and hesitates. “In a way…”

May tsks. “Peter, you need someone smart enough to keep up with your quips and wit!”

“I know, but it’s just a college thing, you know? It probably won’t last.” Peter takes another sip.

“Okay, well, tell me more. Major? Name? Social security number?”

“May!” Peter giggles, meeting her eyes again. Then he goes quiet again, blushing some more. He looks at his coffee, letting out another breath. “Okay, well… h-he…his name is Wade.” He clears his throat, face pink and neck prickling with anxiety.

May suddenly reaches out and takes Peter’s hand. He looks at her, feeling like a doe caught in headlights. But she only smiles at him, saying something with her eyes he can’t quite make out. “Wade, that’s a nice name. And does he make you happy?”

Peter suddenly feels tears in his eyes. The rush of relief is so strong, that he almost wants to pass out. He sniffles, starting to talk but his voice breaks. He takes a deep breath and nods, before wiping his face and smiling at her. “Yeah. Yeah, he makes me really happy. I really liked Liz and MJ, but this feels different. Like…”

“Like more than high school puppy love?“ she teases, squeezing his hand and sipping from her mug again.

Peter blushes and nods, smiling wide. “Yeah. Like it’s more serious. He says I’m smart and attractive, and it’s like he…he wants to be with me all the time.” He blushes even harder, taking a sip of coffee to stop his ramblings.

May grins. “I like him already.”

Peter swallows thickly, and suddenly starts tearing up again. He takes her hand, taking a couple deep breaths before managing a broken “Thank you, May.”

“Of course, baby,” she coos. She squeezes his hand again. “I love you, Peter. No matter what.”

~

Tony’s hands shake as they pull into the driveway. Jarvis turns the car off, but doesn’t move otherwise. Tony takes a few deep breaths, clenching his hands into fists and smithing them out again.

“Shall I drive around a bit longer, sir?” Jarvis asks, voice warm and comforting.

Tony doesn’t answer right away. Jarvis doesn’t push him. Eventually, Tony shakes his head and opens his door for himself. “Might as well get this over with.”

Jarvis opens his own door, heading around to the trunk. “Of course, sir. I’ll get your things.”

Tony nods, walking to the front door. He hesitates there, taking deep breaths. Then he slides his glasses on, puts on a smirk, and opens the door. “Ma? Pops?” He calls.

He doesn’t get an answer, but a loud “what is he doing here?” Greets him. He follows his father’s voice into the kitchen.

“You asked him to come home for holidays dear, remember?” He walks in to see his mother nursing a wine glass, a small pile of pills resting next to her breakfast plate.

“It’s not the holidays,” his father grumbles. He doesn’t look up from his computer, where he’s likely working.

“You say that every time he visits, dear,” she says, swallowing one of her pills and turning the page in a newspaper. “But what will the tabloids say if our only child doesn’t visit during breaks?”

Howard simply grumbles, and Tony works his jaw. “Great to see you too, dad,” Tony snarks.

“Watch your tone with me, boy,” Howard says, looking up.

Tony smirks, watching as his mother disinterestedly chases the rest of her medication down with her wine. “Great to be home,” he says sarcastically, hearing Jarvis make his way inside. He knows his father won’t do anything in front of the man.

Howard’s jaw works and his eyes go dark, tracking Jarvis’s movements through the archway. “Go to your room and be quiet. I have a lot of work to do.”

Tony does a mock salute and follows Jarvis to his room.

“I do wish you wouldn’t provoke him such,” Jarvis almost whispers as they reach Tony’s room.

Tony plops down on his bed, pulling out his phone and taking his glasses off. “I brought presents,” he says instead of an answer, pointing to the duffel bag.

Jarvis sighs, but goes to it. “You don’t have to, sir,” he mumbles, but gasps as he pulls out a record with shaky hands.

Tony continues to scroll on his phone, pretending not to watch.

“Sir,” Jarvis breathes, not taking his eyes off of it.

“I know that it was Ana’s favorite a while ago, she used to hum the songs to me when I was little,” he starts. Jarvis holds it with shaky hands, almost as if he thinks it will disappear if he lets it go. “And dad thought that since he technically owned it, he deserved it back after…” he swallows, gripping the phone tighter and fighting away tears. “Anyway, I was going to wait for Christmas to give it back, but I’m bad at keep secrets, so. Happy early Hanukkah.”

Jarvis swallows thickly, slowly looking up to Tony with wet eyes. “How your parents raised someone as good and kind as you-“

“They didn’t,” Tony scoffs, trying to play it cool. “You and Ana did.”

Jarvis sniffs, running his hand over the front cover. “Where did you-“

“I just had to track down the person dad sold it to. Paid him double what he paid for it, and bam: it’s the exact copy she always listened to.”

Jarvis nods, speechless at this point. “Thank you, sir,” he croaks, standing up. “I-“

“Just put it in one of my bags so he won’t see it, take it home with you tonight. And don’t expect a Christmas present.” He waves Jarvis off, because if he meets the man’s eyes he isn’t sure he can keep up his careless attitude.

“Of course, sir,” he says, doing just that. Knowing that nothing else needs to be said, he closes Tony’s bedroom door softly.

Tony stares at the ceiling after, taking deep breaths. It’s going to be a long break.

~

Thor grins as he bursts into the front door, clanging and banging the whole way. “I’m home!” He calls jovially.

“In here, son,” his father calls, and Thor happily drops his bags and marches in. “Ah, there you are my boy!” Odin stands, clapping Thor on the shoulder before giving him a quick hug. “Come, your mother and brother are in the garden. They’ll be ecstatic to see you!”

Thor hums happily, thanking his father and going outside. “Mother, Loki!”

Loki looks up; and instead of his usual adoring, puppy-like brother, someone entirely different looks up from what he was doing. He’s grown his hair out, he’s wearing all black—and is that eyeliner? The boy crosses his arms in impatience at being interrupted, scowling as if Thor is the last person he wanted to see.

Which is very different from over the summer, where his smiling, joyful little brother whined at his departure and begged to come with again.

“What do you want? Me and mother are busy.”

Thor quirks a brow, looking between him and his mother. His mother makes sure Loki can’t see her before mouthing ‘it’s a new phase’. “Ah, yes, apologies. Well, seeing as I flew halfway around the world to see you, can I at least get a hello?” His smile doesn’t falter; there’s nothing his little brother could do to make Thor hate him.

Loki scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Hello,” he mocks, turning back to the garden. “We are trying to plant something new, we have to be careful or it’ll die. Go away!”

Thor grins at his mother, who fondly rolls her eyes and smiles at Loki’s back. “Ah, much more important,” Thor agrees. “Well, I’ll leave you to it!”

Thor goes back inside, sitting next to his father. “How are things, father?”

Odin hums, pausing the news and turning his full attention to his oldest son. “Yes, about that…”

Thor keeps his smile but cocks his head to the side in curiosity. “Yes?”

“Well…” he laughs and shakes his head instead. “Later, later! Tell me, how is school going? Are you still dating that wonderfully smart young woman?” He asks.

Thor preens with pride, nodding. “Yes, Jane and I are still together. She’s halfway through her doctorate.”

His father hums, patting his legs anxiously. “Yes, that’s so wonderful. I like her, that one. Yes, yes.” He nods again.

Thor laughs, half nervous half amused. “Are you alright, father?”

Odin chuckles deeply, checking his watch and looking out the back door at his wife and youngest son. “Yes, yes. Perfect! Nothings wrong. Not a thing. All is well, yes.”

Thor’s smile disappears. “Convincing.”

Odin looks back to Thor, clearing his throat. “Something to drink, son? I recently purchased this wonderful ale, aged in a barrel of fine bourbon. You like beer, yes?”

Thor agrees, but his eyebrows furrow in concern. “Yes…what’s going on?”

At that moment, his mother and Loki come back in. “Go wash up honey, we can make dinner together next.” Thor notices his father escape to the kitchen as his son is distracted.

“Mother?” Thor asks, watching Loki stalk away and Frigga wipe her hands on her apron.

“Yes, dear?” She asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Is something wrong?”

Her lips go tight, but then she sighs and rubs her forehead. “Not wrong, no. But we need to discuss something before-“

“Here we are!” His father interrupts, pushing a beer mug into Thor’s hands. “This is by far the finest beer I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting. Drink, son, you’ll love it!”

Thor frowns but takes a gulp, letting it sit on his tongue for a moment before nodding to himself swallowing. “Yes, it’s very good. Now, what’s going on?”

Odin and Frigga give each other worried looks. Finally, Frigga steps forward and claps her hands together in front of her. “Well, alright. Let’s sit down.”

Loki walks in at that moment, and then he huffs angrily. “Oh so he gets a sit down conversation and I find out when she rings the doorbell?” He shrieks, and it’s so unlike the Loki Thor remembers that the blond gasps.

Frigga sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, and Odin glares at Loki. “Go to your room. Now.”

Loki stomps his foot like a child. “Don’t tell me what to do, old man!” He yells.

Thor’s eyes widen, and his jaw drops. “Loki! What on earth-“

“I don’t care if mama forgives you, I never will!” He yells, before turning on his heel and stomping his feet as he goes.

Odin lets out a shaky breath, letting Thor know the words hurt more than the older man wants to let on.

Thor shakes his head. “What the hell is going on? What is he talking about?”

Frigga looks to her husband, sighs sadly, and takes Thor’s hand in both of hers. “Take a walk with me, I’ll explain. Odin, dear, just stay away from Loki for now. He’ll get over it.” His father sighs and sinks into his armchair, not even arguing that he should be there for whatever talk this is.

Thor nods slowly, following his mother out into their very large back yard.

They walk in silence for about ten minutes, before Frigga sighs again and turns to Thor.

~

Natasha hums, holding Clint’s hand as they walk up to the front door. “You’re sure your parents don’t mind you stay at my house over the break?”

Clint snorts, kissing her nose softly. “They won’t notice I’m not there,” he promises.

Nat sighs and pulls him in. “Anybody here?” She calls.

“Nat!” A girl’s voice calls, and all the sudden a flash of blonde is streaking past Clint and into Natasha’s arms.

Natasha giggles, hugging her back. “Yelena! How are you doing, what’s up?”

Yelena pulls away with a giant grin, eyes only for her big sister. “I’m great! I met a girl at school, she’s super cool and she likes to braid her hair too.”

Nat laughs softly, playfully tugging at her sister’s braid. “Match made in heaven. Where’s mom and dad?”

She scowls at that. “Mom is taking care of the pigs and dad is at work.” She finally turns her attention to Clint. “Barton.”

Clint nods at her, eyes narrowed. “Shithead.”

She gasps, turning to Natasha. “You’re going to let him speak to me this way?!”

Nat rolls her eyes. “Be nice,” she sighs. “Come on, let’s go put our bags in my room.”

“You think mom and dad will let you share a room with a boy?” Yelena asks, scandalized.

“Shut up, you’re adopted,” Nat says, already carrying the bags up the stairs.

“So are you, bitch!” Yelena calls, pouting and crossing her arms.

Clint grins and shakes his head fondly, following her up the stairs.

~

Bruce lays on his bed, blunt in one hand and phone in the other. “No mom, I’m not smoking. No, I don’t do that anymore. Because you asked me not to.”

He pulls the phone away from his mouth while his mother rampages about this and that, taking another long drag and slowly breathing it out.

“No, I’m sorry. I can’t visit this break. I just have a lot of work to do. Yes, I have a job; how else am I supposed to afford an apartment? I know you cut me off for my own good, but that doesn’t mean I magically have my own money, mom, I have to work for it.” Bruce sighs, the hand holding his blunt rubbing at his temples. “Well I can’t marry a wealthy man mom, I like girls. I wasn’t accusing you of—oh my god…”

Bruce sits up, sighing loudly into the phone and rubbing his forehead. “Yes, I’m still going to my classes. Ahuh. Ahuh. Yeah. Okay, mom, is there a point to all of this or are you just calling to judge me?”

Bruce takes another long drag, listening to his mother screech on the other end of the phone. “I never said you were the worst mom in the…grateful for what, you got rid of me as soon as you could! You know what, no, I’m not doing this. Happy Thanksgiving.” He hangs up and throws his phone across the room, groaning in agony as it shatters. “I deserve that,” he mumbles, taking another drag. He hates when all his friends leave, and he’s left with nothing but his own thoughts.

~

Steve smiles softly, stirring the pot carefully. “Of course Ma, I don’t mind. I like to cook, you know that.”

His mother smiles back gratefully, legs giving out as she falls into a kitchen chair. “You’re such an Angel, Stevie. My little Angel.”

Steve blushes pink, stirring a bit more and smiling. “Long shift?”

Sarah nods, kicking her shoes off and rubbing at her feet. “18 hours,” she mumbles. The hospital keeps making her shifts longer and longer, because she’s the most competent nurse they have. “Feet are killing me.”

Steve sighs sympathetically. “Yeah. How’s dad?”

She hums softly. “He got a third job recently, it pays better. He thinks that if he can convince them to give him more hours, he can quit the job at the electric company.”

Steve nods again, guilt sinking in. “I can get a job, you know. Bruce has a job, and he gets straight A’s.”

Sarah waves her hands before going back to rubbing her feet. “Nonsense. Your college is covered by scholarships, you smart smart boy, and your father and I agreed before we had you that we would pay for living expenses until you graduated college. First generation, my handsome, smart, perfect son!” She beams are him, and Steve has to look away out of guilt. “Enough about work and money, it’s all so heavy! Tell me about Peggy, how’s she doing?”

Steve gulps, pulling out another pan and checking the date on the frozen shrimp. “She’s great, Ma, she said to give you and dad her love, and that she’s sorry she couldn’t come to visit. Her parents wanted to hog her.”

Sarah laughs fondly, leaning back in her chair and sighing. “I love that girl, so polite and proper. Will her and her family be at Mass with us?”

Steve shakes his head. “They go to the one upstate, remember?”

Sarah tsks, sighing sadly. “Oh yes, I always forget. Well…any thoughts of marriage soon?”

Steve almost freezes, but keeps moving the shrimp around with great effort. “I’ve brought it up with her, but I get the sense she wants to wait until after college. Plus I don’t think wasting money on a ring right now is the best idea.”

“Steve!” Sarah gasps. “That sort of thing is always worth it!”

“Right Ma, sorry.” He guiltily pours the mostly cooked shrimp into the noodles and sauce, stirring again.

“Honey, is there something you’re keeping from me? You’re all tense…”

Where to start…I’m actually gay, I just hooked up with a guy I hate and who’s allowance is more than you and dad make combined, I don’t follow Catholicism anymore and I never go to mass, I haven’t spoken to Peggy since we secretly broke up two years ago, I drink and smoke pot at parties, I’m actually an art major not a psych major, I’m in love with Bucky…

“Nope!” Steve says, turning the heat down to a simmer. “I’m just tired from all the homework, I guess. I’m sorry I’m not as upbeat as usual.”

“No, that’s perfectly fine!” She coos, standing and kissing his cheek softly. “Just wanted to make sure. I love you, son.”

Steve smiles and nods at her. “Love you too, Ma.”

~

Bucky checks his hair for the seventeenth time, smoothing out his shirt again and wiping his sweaty palms.

“You really don’t need to be this nervous,” Sam says, smiling fondly at Bucky.

Bucky gives him a mean look, looking over himself one more time. “Yes I do. What if they don’t like me? What happens then? Then I lose my boyfriend.”

Sam rolls his eyes, continuing their walk along the pier. “First of all: they won’t hate you. Second of all: even if they did, I wouldn’t stop dating you just because of that. You’re one of my best friends, they can get over it.”

Bucky huffs shakily, rightening his jacket around his shoulders. “I don’t think you understand how desperately I need people to like me.”

“No, I really don’t,” he laughs, coming to a stop. Bucky almost keeps walking, but then he turns around. “What?”

“We’re here,” Sam says, pointing to the boat.

Bucky gives him a death glare. “We’re going on a damn boat and you let me wear this?!”

Sam snickers, taking Bucky’s hand and walking them closer. “You’re cute. We don’t live here, this is where we work.” He goes to the very edge and cups his hands together. “Guys! I’m here!”

“Sammy!” Bucky hears running up steel stairs, and a pretty girl pops her head out from under the deck. “Mama, daddy, Sammy’s home!”

What happens next is honestly a blur. A blur of happiness and warmth and unconditional love.

It’s so different from Bucky’s quiet house. The cold, quiet, polite air that always threatens to choke Bucky when he visits home. Being with Sam’s family reminds him so much of being with Steve’s family. Of the laughing, the smiling, the dancing. The close-knit quarters, the sharing of stories, the way everyone seems to fit in perfectly—even Bucky.

It’s a feeling of home that he never gets in his own house.

After dinner and talking and laughing for hours, Sam’s little sister turns sparkling eyes to Bucky. “So you like my brother?” She asks.

Sam rolls his eyes. “No, I brought him home to meet you because we hate each other.”

“Be nice,” Sam’s mother chides playfully.

“Yes,” Bucky says, smiling at her. Then he turns his gaze to Sam, smile softening into a loving, smitten thing. “I do like your brother.”

“Good,” Sarah says, and a mischievous glint forms in her eyes. “Because I have a boat. They’ll never find your body.”

“Sarah!” Their father chides, wiggling a finger at her. “We have a boat.”

Their mother laughs, shaking her head fondly. “Now stop it, both of you! We don’t need people knowing how we dispose of the bodies.”

Bucky chuckles along with the rest of them, but Sam is shaking his head. “You’ll scare him off before he even has a chance to break my heart,” he warns.

“Only teasing!” Sarah says sweetly, but her grin is downright evil. “Using the family boat is too obvious.”

Sam is about to say something, but Bucky takes his hand with a smile. “My sisters will do the same thing, don’t worry.”

“How many sisters you got?” Sam’s father asks, taking a sip of water.

“Three younger sisters,” he answers, smiling fondly at the thought of them. “Oldest is fourteen.”

“Quite the gap between y’all,” his mother comments, narrowing her eyes. “Unless-“

“Yes,” Sam interrupts. “There’s a gap. We’re both 21.”

Bucky quirks a brow, but Sam shakes his head. “Don’t ask.”

“Anyway,” his father says, standing. “Anyone still hungry? We can get ice creams.”

“Ice cream!” Sarah yells, jumping out of her chair. “I want strawberry.”

“We know,” Sam sighs. “You get the same thing every single time.”

She sticks her tongue out at him, and Bucky can’t help but smile and feel at home.

~

Peter smiles as he helps May do the dishes, giving her a little hip bump as he moves the dishes to the drying wrack. “I’m sad vacation is almost over,” he says, sighing sadly.

May smiles sadly back, drying her hands and putting the towel down. “It’ll only be a month before I see you again,” she says happily, messing up his curls.

Peter makes an indignant noise, but smiles all the same. “I know, but I’ll still miss you.”

May grins. “Well…why don’t you tell me what’s been on your mind all week?”

Peter blushes and turns away, suddenly very interested in making sure there’s no water on the counter. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been keeping something inside. I see it. I know you.” She pushes some hair out of his face, smiling fondly. “What is it?”

Peter looks down, blushing a bit. He should have known she could see right through him. “I…”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she says after an awkward silence. “But you can. You know that, right?”

Peter gives her a thankful smile, and then sighs. “I have this friend. His name is Tony.”

She nods encouragingly.

“I…I really liked him. Romantically. But he uh…I don’t know. Anyway, he said he would date me, but I was too poor and normal for him to date.” His aunt gasps, and he smiles sadly. “Yeah, it was…humiliating. I guess I just…I didn’t think he would…I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to be his friend anymore.”

“I wouldn’t,” she says, scoffing. “He sounds like a dick.”

Peter giggles, wiping at his eyes. “I don’t know…he isn’t usually like that. Usually he’s really sweet and…and smart and funny. But…”

May pets his face, then squeezes his hand. “I won’t tell you what to do, hon. Just trust your gut. Now come on, let’s watch a movie!”

~

Tony packs his things together again, before sighing and looking in the mirror. His dad should know better than to leave a mark on his face. Whatever, he can say he got into a fight.

“Packing already?” Tony almost jumps out of his skin, turning to see Jarvis. “Oh, dear…”

Tony winces, turning back around. “Just…don’t want to stay any longer than I need to. You know?”

Jarvis sighs sadly, nodding. “Of course, sir. Would you like a ride back tonight?”

“No, thank you. I just want…alone time. Please.”

Jarvis bows deeply, before leaving with a sad look on his face.

Tony turns back to his reflection, feeling the rage burn inside of him.

Useless! Absolutely useless, a disgrace! You aren’t even trying to find a wife. No, you’re too busy fucking anything that moves. After everything I’ve given you, all the money I’ve spent on you—you are nothing but a useless pothead. You’re not even doing drugs like your peers; why don’t you try some coke, huh? At least then I can say you’re productive! You lazy, worthless, arrogant, stupid boy!

Tony slams his hands on the dresser, looking down at them instead of his reflection, chest heaving. “Fuck you, dad,” he whispers, before pulling out a bag of white powder. His mom’s stash.

Tony’s never tried this, but he saw his mom do it once. He pours out a small line, not wanting to risk too much for his first time using.

He takes a second to consider if it’s worth it. Remembering his father’s words, he plugs one nostril and breathes in heavily with the other.

He gasps when it’s over, taking deep breaths and fighting the urge to sneeze. He sighs when he doesn’t think there’s any effect, and starts to pour a larger line. He’s got it all ready by the time it kicks in.

“Woah,” he whispers, eyes wide. He looks in the mirror; his pupils are blown out, but he looks happier already. He feels more energetic, more sociable. Like he wants to go see his friends. He feels like he could do anything.

He cleans his entire room. He unpacks his bags, actually folds his clothes, and repacks them. He gets his computer out and does two whole assignments, before he realizes it’s worn off.

He’s suddenly feeling very slow, like when he’s high on pot. He sniffles, feeling like his nose is running. He looks down and realizes his hands are shaking, and also god, he’s so hungry.

Without thinking too much about it, he snorts the other line he had laid out for himself, and waits for it to hit. He relaxes when it does, his mind feeling sharper already. He puts the rest of the bag in his Mother’s table again, not wanting to tempt himself.

He’s only just gotten back in his room when there’s a knock. He opens the door, smiling when he sees Jarvis.

“Um…” Jarvis looks Tony over, disapproving. “Oh, sir…”

“I’m not hungry,” Tony says with a smile. “Do you wanna come in? I was doing some projects for school, but-“

“Dinner is almost ready,” Jarvis says sadly. “I must serve it.”

“Oh,” Tony says. He sniffs, before smiling again. “Alright, that’s fine. I’m not that hungry, plus I don’t want to see them right now. But you can come back later if you want, before you have to go.”

Jarvis nods once, eyes sad. “Alright. Good night, sir.”

“Night!” Tony calls. He closes his door again, and gets focused again.

~

Thor is being rude. He knows he is. But he can’t help it-he stares.

His mother sits beside him, quietly cutting up her meat. His father sits at the head of the table. Next to him, across from mother, is where Loki is supposed to sit. He isn’t here. And across from Thor-

“Okay, what’s your problem?” The girl asks, slamming her knife on the table.

“Hela,” Odin chides. “Don’t-“

“He’s fucking staring at me—and don’t tell me what to do!” She yells at him.

Frigga takes a sip of wine that turns into several sips until her glass is empty. “Yes, well, I think I need a refill. Hela, would you like some?”

She doesn’t even look at Frigga. Frigga sighs and leaves. “Well, what’s your problem?”

Thor forces a smile, bringing his beer closer to him. “I don’t have one.”

“Why are you staring at me, then?” She hisses.

“Hela,” Odin starts.

“Shut up!” She yells at him, before turning back to Thor. “Speak.”

Thor quirks a brow. “I’m not a dog, ma’am.”

She growls again, scooting her chair back to stand. “I’m not a fucking ma’am,” she hisses.

“Oh, apologies. You’re just so much older than me, you see.” He takes a sip, never losing eye contact.

“Thor,” Odin sighs. “Please.”

“It’s not my fault daddy dearest was a slut before he settled down with your mum,” she hisses, nails scratching the table.

Frigga clears her throat, sitting down at the table and taking another sip of wine. “I think that’s enough.”

“No, I don’t think it is,” she says, a feral grin on her face. “Nothing you do will ever be enough, isn’t that right dad?”

Thor stands up with her, leaning across the table. “You’re 41 years old, ma’am. I think it’s about time you stop acting more immature than my kid brother.”

“How dare you-“

“Just because you were a demon spawn hellbent on breaking up your parents marriage doesn’t mean you get to come in here and ruin my family. You killed someone, accident or not. You caused our dad and your mother to divorce. You have destroyed enough families, don’t you think?”

Odin stands, leaving the table without a word. Frigga drinks.

“He had the god damn nerve to not even mention me to you and your brother.” She clenched her teeth. “You don’t find it disturbing that he can just move on from his life, his family?”

Thor shrugs, catching Loki on the stairs behind Hela. “I think I have nothing to worry about as long as I don’t become a murderer.”

Hela spits at Thor, but the blond doesn’t react. Loki and Frigga both stand, though. “You’re just like him. At least your brother has sense; he’s on my side. He thinks your dad is despicable too.”

Thor wipes the spit from his face, an angry smile growing slowly. “At least my dad didn’t get behind the wheel drunk. At least my dad didn’t kill a mother and three children. At least my dad was so laden with guilt over what you did, not what he did, you did, that he still can’t talk about you. At least he has empathy, basic human decency, and kindness in his heart. He let you in his house. He let you meet his new family. He’s even given you enough money to get you by until you can get your own job.”

“If I was him, I would have stuck up for my daughter!” She yells. “I wouldn’t have given up on my family!”

Thor laughs, low and dark. It’s enough to make Loki shrink back. “If I was him, I would leave you to the streets. I wouldn’t ever let you back in my life. If I was him, I would wish you had died instead of those poor, innocent people.”

Hela grabs the steak knife and stabs it through Thor’s hand, a dark look in her eyes. Frigga screams, and Loki runs, and Odin starts to return with all the commotion.

Thor only grins through the pain, cocking his head to the side. “I’m guessing stabbing people is against your parole, isn’t it?”