#no wonder everything has felt so retcon-y and I don’t even mind retcons but the way they’re trying to pretend sb isn’t what it is

[braveburned]

what the fuck do you MEAN scott refused to tell steel wool the story of sb while they were actively making the game no wonder it’s a train wreck

[eupheme]

Penny For Your Thoughts | Part 2 - Reunion

masterlist

Alfred Pennyworth x F!Reader

Rated E - 6.2k

Tags: age gap, semi-public makeout, smut, mirror sex, table sex, fingering, PiV, praise kink, brief discussion of pain

Summary: After not hearing from him, you’re wondering if he changed his mind. Luckily, an upcoming masquerade makes for the perfect opportunity for you to cross paths.

A/N: I got such kind comments, I decided to turn this into a little series! 💕 I hope you like this part as well. (Also I retconned a few small details [ie the name of where she works] to fit the later plot.)

This feels like the fourth time you’ve fluffed up this particular arrangement of flowers, fingers searching for untrimmed thorns, any sign of wilted leaves.

Your eye closes as you frame the vase with your hands, adjusting it until it feels perfectly centered on the slate tablecloth, the orange and gold spray of flowers complimenting the tone.

It’s one of four you’ve worked on this morning - a last-minute favor to a close friend. One who had bitten off a little more than she could chew, in an attempt to make this Halloween Masquerade the best the town has seen.

“What do you think?” You glance at the next table over, where she’s arranging her own, this one in shades of lilac and white.

“Perfect.” Hazel glances between them, finger rubbing at her bottom lip. Worried eyes glance towards you, “Do you think it looks like, Halloween-y? I know it’s still weeks away, but…”

Your hand comes to rest on her shoulder, gently squeezing, “Definitely. You picked the perfect spot.”

Her idea had been to rent a room in the Natural History Museum, but yours has been to pick the large, open banquet hall overlooking the botanical gardens. The space was perfect, and you’re already imagining how the moon will look as it hangs over the gnarled trees and clusters of foliage, leaves still clinging in shades of red and orange.

“What’s left?” You ask, mentally running through the list the two of you had been flying through all morning, and now - all afternoon.

“I think this should be about it. The caterer is here in an hour, and the DJ after that.” She sinks into one of the many king louis-style chairs, with their rounded backs and velvet tufted seats, shoulder slumping.

You grab the one nearest to her, grateful for a moment to rest your feet. Head tilting back, you let your eyes close, your arms go limb.

“I meant to ask,” She starts, and her tone has your lids cracking open. “Did your mystery man ever text?”

Now they’re opening fully.

“Uh, no. He didn’t.” You don’t look at her yet, willing the hot flush to stay in your chest, not to creep up and across your cheeks.

“Ew, did he call?” That makes you laugh, and can’t help but look as she crinkles her nose.

“No, that would be difficult.” Your head tilts, expression turning sheepish, “I never gave him my number.”

An oversight. One you had thought of, more than once over the past week and a half, when you weren’t replaying more… interesting moments.

Hazel was one of your oldest friends in Gotham, and you did tell her quite a lot about your life. But not everything - cornered into sharing the basics when she caught you deep in thought, smiling during one of your afternoon coffee runs.

And you also didn’t want to tell her part of the reason you were so willing to help her with this, unbribed and unpaid, other than in drinks and an invite to the ball itself, was the chance of peeking at the guestlist.

But you’re certain she knew. Just that morning she had cornered you, dropping her voice to ask if there’s any ‘certain someone’s’ to keep an eye out for as she counted RSVPs. But you had panicked, your jaw snapping shut as you rushed off to straighten the glasses at the bar, wiping down the marble top.

You weren’t embarrassed to tell her, or anything. It was just - something about that night, with him, felt special. Important, as silly as that seemed.

Or maybe you just didn’t want to look so completely head-over-heels over someone you just met.

Even if he did make you come more than once.

Even if you haven’t stopped thinking about him.

Her foot kicks yours from under the table, grabbing your attention, “I finally picked my dress out for tonight.”

You smile, grateful for the change in subject, “Which one?”

“The red, strapless one,” She grins, the smile tugging wider when you hum in agreement. “Which one are you wearing?”

“Oh,” you sigh tiredly, mentally flipping through your choices. You’d thought about it, tried on your whole closet twice this week. “I think the blue one. You know-”

“I know. You wore that last time.” She accuses, and you shrug.

It was ‘old reliable’ for a reason - classic cut, no frills. You looked fine in it, comfortable with the simple style.

She makes a disappointed sound, her eyes rolling. “You should wear the black one you got when we went shopping last weekend. You looked amazing.”

You snort at that, your chin propped under your palm, “I don’t know. I was thinking about taking it back. It’s a little… revealing.”

It was beautiful, a real splurge - the open back, the way the front came down in a deep v that met below your sternum.

“I know, that’s why it’s great. Wear it.” She presses, and you shake your head, checking your watch as you laugh, pushing yourself to your feet.

“I’ll think about it.” You reluctantly agree. If you’re going to get back in time to eat and change, you’d better leave now, “Are you still picking me up?”

Hazel smiles, “Yes, see you at seven. Thanks for all your help, I couldn’t do it without you.”

With a smile and a wave, you’re on your way - walking the blocks back to your apartment, shrugging off your coat as you warm in the mid-afternoon sun.

You’re up the steps and inside the door before you notice it, a thick, cream envelope on the wooden floor under the mail slot, standing out against the mix of magazines and ads underneath that you haven’t had the energy to check.

Absently dropping your bag and your coat on the small table just inside the door, you stoop to pick it up. There’s no address, just your name carefully inked on the front.

Brows furrowing, you flip it over and see the small wax seal, the initial ‘P’ in an elegant script with a circle around it. The thrum of unease wanes, the letter clenched tightly in your grip as you wrench the front door open, eyes scanning the street for any sight of him.

But there’s not, and you silently chide yourself. He could have come hours ago. He’s not waiting around outside.

The door shuts behind you, and for a long moment you don’t want to open it, fingers carefully tracing the raised ink of your name.

But eventually you do, impatience and curiosity getting the best of you, and you grab a knife from your kitchen to keep the seal intact.

The insides spill into your hands, a clipping of an article, what looked like a ticket, and a small note. Two you recognize - the announcement for the Halloween Masquerade hosted by the Mayor, the event Hazel was helping plan. The smaller ticket, matching the one she already gave you.

This one you might just have to keep, tucked away in your vanity drawer.

The note is what you spend the most time on, reading the simple line until you’ve memorized the curves of the neat, masculine script.

Will I see you there?

-A.

You smile, holding the note close to your chest, your heart and mind both racing.

Maybe you will have to wear the black dress after all.

———

The masquerade is in full swing as you arrive fashionably late, something that makes your stomach churn but Hazel had insisted on. The museum looks beautiful, transformed by the dim lighting, the dark sky pouring in from the windows outside.

The banquet hall is filled with people, all dressed in their best gowns and suits, an even proportion of elaborate masks and beautiful, bare faces.

You wind your way inside, eyes soaking in the creativity that Gotham’s finest brought to life. A man with a mask that looked like an inky black skull, paired with a crisp white suit. A woman with green vines curling across her temples, looking like she stepped right out of the garden.

The mask you wore was simple in comparison to others - delicate swirls of gold filigree - tied with a dark ribbon, the band tucked into your hair. But it matched the dramatic cut of your dress, complimenting the dark, silky fabric.

Hazel had disappeared into the crowd immediately, a to-do list a mile long, guests to check in on. You had mingled, filling a plate with hors d’oeuvres, having skipped dinner in exchange for tidying up your room, slipping some extra essentials (phone charger, toothbrush, makeup wipes, a spare pair of panties) into your purse.

You know, just in case.

It’s the planner in you, always prepared.

From your spot at the bar you have a good view of the banquet hall, though with the mood lighting and masks it’s hard to pick out faces. You feel like you’ve combed through them all at least once, seeing the same masks, the same dresses, appearing again and again.

But not the one you want to see.

Palm cupping your chin, you lean on the bar top, and it’s when you stop looking, letting your eyes idle, that you see him.

Well, more exactly - them.

They’re standing in a small group, Alfred’s face in profile, but you know it’s him - the cut of his hair and beard one you’ve come to know well. Bruce Wayne you recognized also, standing taller even with the few steps of distance between them.

The others you didn’t know, three men in suits, and frankly, at the moment you didn’t care. At least he was here.

You smile at him, a fondness blooming in your chest, wanting to walk over and interrupt, though that wouldn’t be proper. But you’re still daydreaming about it, when a thick hand lands on your shoulder, fingers digging into the flesh.

There’s a man standing next to your stool, his face hidden in a black and white mask, the bright splash of yellow making up a sharp beak where his nose would be.

“You’re one of them sparrows, right sweetheart?” He asks, and your stomach twists.

“I am.” There’s no use lying, “But I’m not on duty right now, seeing as we’re outside the Parliament.”

The fingers tighten, and you can see dark eyes moving behind the dark holes, “I’m sure the good judge won’t mind. I got a message I need delivered.”

You’re certain he would mind, but then again - if he knew about the services of the club, then surely he was a member, right? It wasn’t common knowledge, there were people that made sure of that.

He takes your silence in stride, pushing forward, “I’ll pay you well. If you play your cards right, maybe you could even come work for me.”

“Thank you, I appreciate the offer, but I’m under contact.” It’s a lie, but he doesn’t need to know that, “I’ll take the job, though. When do you need it delivered?”

You exchange information, a simple drop off scheduled for a couple weeks from now, the message and the client location to be revealed with the pickup. The pickup is at a spot that you’ve been to before, but that does little to quell your nerves.

It makes you feel jittery, anxious - like you’re doing something wrong. And maybe you are, your head turning so you can glance over your shoulder, as if to check if you’re being watched.

But with the amount of people, it’s impossible to tell, and it makes your chest feel tight, the blood pounding in your ears.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” The man is still at your shoulder, his hand finally dropping, “Don’t forget my offer, okay? The Iceberg is a classy place, a pretty lady like yourself would fit right in.”

You smile and make up a polite excuse, sliding from the stool to disappear into the crowd again. All you want to do at that moment is see him again, eyes idly scanning the tables, the groups near the bar.

The lights dim and you lose the chance of finding anyone in the throng of bodies scattering across the floor as a popular song starts up, the DJ turning up the blaring music. You give up, deciding you need a moment - away from the masks and swirling skirts, your feet aching in your heels.

You choose a spot you had stumbled on earlier, a hallway leading to some employee bathrooms, across from a large storage room where you and Hazel had dragged out the chairs. It would be quiet, the nicer, public restrooms closer to the entrance.

The change is drastic, the floors a dull linoleum, the fluorescent lights overhead making your eyes squint. The double door click shut behind you, already dampening the pounding music out.

But your relief might be short-lived, you’re not as alone as you thought. Half-way down the hall is a man, inky black suit perfectly tailored over the slight curve of his shoulders.

Your pulse spikes as you recognize him - Bruce Wayne - and you quickly sweep the hall behind him, but he's alone. But he’s glancing up from his phone, and it’s too late to turn tail and run.

"Just needed a moment,” You thumb over your shoulder, "Didn't uh, mean to disturb you."

He blinks, shoving the phone into his pockets, "You didn't."

Shifting, a hand carefully extends, and to your surprise, you find yourself taking it.

"Bruce Wayne." He introduces himself, and you want to laugh.

I know who you are.

I fucked your butler. And I’d really like to do it again.

You wonder if he knows, somehow - though Alfred doesn’t seem like the type to kiss and tell.

His grip is firm, hands cool, and you give him your name in response.

"I remember," he answers, and your eyebrows raise. "The charity ball, this past spring."

You’re surprised, that someone like him would - that you had made any kind of impression at all. Your hands drop, idly smoothing over your dress.

“So, uh-,” You search for something to say, something to fill the loud silence, “Not a mask guy?”

His eyes jerk up to yours, your own fingers touching the filigree edge of your mask in explanation.

“Uh, no.” Bruce answers, his posture relaxing ever so slightly, “Not really.”

He doesn’t offer any more, so you abandon the effort, leaning instead against the wall, using it to rest your feet, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye.

You’re close to the same age as he is, but there’s something that makes him seem so much older. A burden he carries in his shoulders, a depth to his expressive, weary eyes that doesn’t match someone who isn’t quite thirty.

The door opens behind you then, a feminine voice cutting through, “Mister Wayne! I thought I saw you.”

His eyes flicker past you, his jaw setting, the slight hunch coming back to his shoulders as he shifts.

“Vicki Vale, with Gotham Globe. I would love to get the chance to talk to you.”

“Of course.” He answers, voice flat but polite, before he glances back towards you.

"I'll tell him you're here." He says it like a question, the words low enough for only you to hear.

You feel the heat rise in your chest, your cheeks - but you manage a short nod. And with the nod, he's gone, brushing past you, leaving you alone in the hallway.

Leaving you to silently panic, all the pretend conversations you’d had the past couple days disappearing like smoke.

Maybe you don’t know what to say, but you do know you don’t want him to see you here, in this very plain, very open hallway. After a moment, you push the door to the storage room, dropping the latch to keep it cracked noticeably open.

Inside, it’s as you left it - stacks of chairs lining the walls, the lighting dim, the room quiet. A heavy conference table placed off to one side, and it’s here that you wait, a hip leaning against the rounded edge.

He finds you, like you were hoping he would. His frame fills the doorway as he moves inside, the soft tap of his cane on the floor with each footstep. He looks even better than he did before - you can see the sharp cut of his beard, the way his suit is tailored to his form.

“I got your letter.” You speak first, nerves twisting in your stomach, “I was going to be here anyways, but I was happy to hear from you. I wasn’t sure if-”

The words trail off, his forehead creasing as he steps closer, until he’s right in front of you.

“Oh, I wanted to.” His voice is soft, like you remembered, and it runs a thrill up your spine, “But I wanted to give you time. I know that sometimes, the next morning, that feelings - expectations - can change.”

Your eyes snap up to his, your throat going tight. Was he saying he regretted the night you spent together? Have you been misreading everything?

“Well, mine didn’t.” The warm flutter in your stomach turns to ice, and you have to force the words out, “Did yours?”

He looks stricken, “Christ, no. I didn’t mean to imply that. Just that I wanted to give you an out, in case you had changed your mind.”

“Alfred,” You defrost, the tightness in your shoulder easing, “I have thought about you, that night, every day.”

“So have I,” His words are soft, his posture mimicking yours, the careful circling of your conversation now steering into relief. “Despite my apprehension about your interest, I had been hoping to ask you about tonight in person.”

“Yeah?” You breathe, as he steps closer, cane resting against the side of the table, the tips of his fingers touching down on either side of your hips, flat against the tabletop.

He hums in agreement, and his eyes finally dip down, past your chin, and then further, “Though if you had been home, looking like this…”

Fingers curl to trace along your hip, feather-light against the soft fabric as he finishes with, “I don't think I would've been able to leave.”

“Looking like what?” You’re fishing, but after the days of waiting on edge to hear something, anything - you’re going to soak up everything he gives you.

Alfred’s hands slide higher, encouraged, until they rest on the soft curve of your waist, “Like a goddess, dove.”

If he was going to say more, you’ll never find out, because your head is tilting up, leaning forward so you can kiss him. Fingers bite into your skin, the last bit of distance between you closing as your arms wind around his shoulders, as his mouth presses against yours.

It’s exploratory, and he lets you lead, waiting until your tongue brushes against his lips before he deepens it. With careful movements, he coaxes you upward, until you’re sitting on the edge of the table, your skirt bunching in his grip until your knees can spread enough that he can fit between them.

Hands start to wander, the buttons on his jackets popped, the edges tucked to the side so he can press just that little bit closer, your thighs bracketing his hips, pressing, squeezing. His own fingers tracing the bare expanse of your back, sliding around until his thumbs brush at the undersides of your breasts, making you shiver.

You feel wound up, aching for friction, your dress too tight around your hips for him to grind against you the way you’d like. But his mouth is dropping, the scruff of his cheek brushing against yours so his teeth can scrape over your neck, and you’re moaning, fingers clinging as you try to rock against him.

His mouth pauses against your soft skin, where your heart flutters and thuds just under your jaw, as a loudspeaker squeals to life in the other room. The sounds he makes is close to a growl, a low rumble in his chest as he pulls back, a swirl of emotions crossing his features.

"I need to be out there." Alfred’s words are tinged with reluctance, and you find your fingers twisting in, unwilling to let go.

"Stay." You coax, needily, embarrassingly, “Please.”

He hums in amusement, his hand cupping your jaw, his eyes soft, “I have to go, but I want to see you after.”

A hand fishes around in his pocket, pulling out a thick, dark card, and you find yourself taking it automatically.

“I have a room at the hotel next door. Room 727, meet me there after the speeches are over?”

Your fingers tighten around the card, heart thudding in your chest as you nod. He leans back in for one more kiss, before he’s pulling himself away, re-fastening the buttons on his suit jacket in an attempt to look more presentable. To hide the thick, hard curve of him that rubs against you as he helps you down and off the table.

The two of you walk together out of the room, to the end of the hall, where he gives you one more glance - as if to assure himself that you’re really there.

You give him fingers a squeeze, your lip pulling up in a smile at the edges.

“I’ll be there. I promise.”

———

You had skipped the speeches, grabbing your jacket and purse instead - firing off a text to Hazel after you stepped outside, telling her you didn’t need a ride. Knowing that if you had sent it sooner, she would have torn up the gala looking for you.

The Royal Hotel had only been a block or two away, a tall, striking building with matching towers on either side. A place you had passed by many times, your neck craning to take in the architecture - but you’d never been in it yourself.

Taking your time, you had gone in, immediately getting lost in the different levels of the lobby, spending time running your fingers over the stone banisters, examining the large brass sculpture of a lion fighting a snake that dominated the room.

Not that you wanted to delay getting to the room, but the thought of just idling outside for ages while your mind wandered was not all that enticing tonight.

But eventually you made it, winding your way to the elevators, taking them up to the seventh floor, the doors opening to plush red carpet, the wainscoted cream walls trimmed with gold. And you had hesitated, not wanting to just go inside by yourself, looking out across the city through the tall windows instead - but it only a few minutes before the elevator doors are chiming.

Until he is stepping through them - eyes searching before they land on you. Relief again washes across his features as he comes to you, his voice low.

“I looked for you, but I didn’t see you in the crowd.”

You smile, your face heating, “I didn’t want to wait any longer.”

“Then don’t let me keep you now.”

The movement is so familiar, the warm hand at your back, the unsteady fingers as you fit the keycard into the lock. Walking into a dark room, anticipation sweet on your tongue and warm in your belly.

It’s beautiful, open and spacious and easily the most luxurious suite you’ve ever been in.

There’s a small dining area with floor-to-ceiling mirrors, a chandelier that glints with the twinkling of lights from outside. A door leading to a bathroom, where you can see a soaker tub inside. Through the soft arch of the doorway there’s a king-sized bed, the plush duvet folded under a line of fluffy pillows.

You want to spend an hour, easy, going over the details, if there weren’t lips at the bare skin of your shoulder, moving up to your neck. The heat of his mouth makes goosebumps prickle, raising the hairs on your arms, making you shiver.

Turning to him, you’re reaching for him when he intercepts, fingers reaching for the ties that disappear into your hair.

“You look lovely, but I miss seeing your face.” He explains, the mask slipping from your forehead, carefully deposited on the dining table.

Shifting, you move until your hip is leaning against the hard wood, his own following until he has you pinned between the table and his own thighs.

“Pick up where we left off?” You ask, pushing yourself up, his hands on your waist to guide you, already plucking at your dress, pushing it up to pool around your hips.

He doesn’t waste any time, fitting between your thighs again, this time pulling you forward until he’s pressed snug against you, groaning when his clothed cock comes in contact with your center, the thin bit of cloth covering it.

There’s a soft rhythm that you fall into easily, a slow grind and rock of hips, hands wandering as mouths meet. A palm finding the curve of your breast, thumb swiping over a stiff peak that’s pressing against the fabric of your dress, your soft moan swallowed.

Lips that drop to your chin, your head tilting back so he can access your neck, his voice low and rough as he confesses, “I wanted to bend you over that table at the museum.”

“Oh, I would have let you.” Your fingers tug at his jacket, trying to push it off his shoulders, it snagging across his chest where it’s still buttoned.

“Christ,” His fingers pluck at his jacket, and then his vest - shoulders rolling so he can sling them across one of the chairs. Fingers digging into the flesh of your hips to pull you closer again, “Dove, you can’t say things like that.”

“Why not?” You tease, “Right now I think I’d let you do just about anything.”

He groans into your mouth, tugging just a little harder until you’re slipping from the tabletop and into his arms, “Is that right, darling? Then turn around for me.”

You do, the edge of the table hitting you right at your upper thighs, and he steps closer, caging you in - his hips pressing, grinding against yours. Your palms rest flat on the buttery soft wood as his hand drifts, dragging from your waist, slowly upwards.

“You look beautiful.” He’s murmuring in your ear, as his arms wrap around you, one hand tracing the neckline of your dress while the other tips your chin upwards.

Until you’re looking up, seeing what he does - the two of you, a perfect reflection in the mirrors. His cheek is pressed against the side of your head as his hand traces the soft valley between your breasts, his touch sending goosebumps skittering across your skin. Then it’s slipping under the fabric, skin against skin as he cups you, and you’re arching back into him.

“Please.” You groan, his thumb swiping over a taut nipple, “Touch me.”

“I will.” He promises, and you’re helping him hike your dress up, so he can slide a hand between your thighs.

Alfred’s groan is louder than yours when his fingers press against you, where you’re wet and needy.

“You’re soaked, dove.” Fingers rub over the fabric of your panties, and you’re already shifting into his touch.

“I know.” You pant, gently rocking because he has you too pinned to do much more, “Been like that all day. All afternoon, really.”

With that, his fingers hook in the fabric, tugging it to the side - meeting slick, warm skin underneath. He finds you easily, rubbing at your clit, humming at your groan of relief, the pinch of his other hand making you squeak.

Your eyes drift up and it makes you clench around nothing - watching the steady swirl of his fingers, the peek of bare cunt as his hands move. He catches you watching and smiles, tugging at the low neckline of your dress to bare one breast, and then the other.

“Just look at you.” He sighs, and you can feel how much he is appreciating this too, the thick curve of him pressing against your ass.

His fingers circle and press, and each of your breaths come faster, as if he remembers just how easily he made you shatter last time.

“God, I need you in me.” You pant out, fingers curling to grip the edge of the table, trying to bend at the waist. The hand teasing your tits flattens against your chest, keeping you pressed upright against him.

“Come for me first, and I will.” He says in answer, and then his mouth is dipping, teeth scraping against your earlobe - his thick fingers leaving your clit to first press one, and then another, into your wet heat.

Filling you with short thrusts as he pushes deep - the heel of his hand grinding against your clit. Working you open, only for his fingers to leave, rubbing tightly against the sensitive bundle of nerves, until each of your breaths is coming in a needy, “ah”.

“Are you going to come, dove? I want you to watch yourself.” He’s crooning in your ear, and your eyes drift up, meeting his gaze in the mirror, his eyes stormy and dark.

His hand flexes between your thighs, fingers shining in the light with just how wet you are, and then you’re moaning “yes” as you tremble in his arms, your back aching as your press your pussy into his hand, panting as the ripples of pleasure race down your limbs.

Leaving you curled over the table, sighing with contented relief as a soft afterglow warms in your stomach, the sharp edge of want now stated.

There’s a gentle kiss pressed to the back of your neck, fingers tugging at the hidden zipper under your arm. Fingers lift from your skin and you whine, helping him peel the dress off from your sticky skin, before he drapes it next to his jacket.

He’s working on his tie, popping buttons on his shirt, making a small pile on the table like before - tie, cufflinks, watch. Rolling sleeves up, as you tug your underwear down your thighs, your ass pressing against the tented front of his pants.

“Fuck,” The composure slips, fingers fumbling with his belt, the zipper, and it makes you smile - that he’s not as put-together as he tries to appear.

You stretch out now, kicking off your heels to lean across the table, rocking up to your tip toes as you peek over your shoulder. He’s drawing himself out, groaning at the sight of you, bent over and waiting for him - fingers sinking into the flesh of your hips, thumbs digging in to spread you open.

“I’m going to eat this pretty cunt later, sweetheart. I promise.” Alfred is fisting his cock, the heavy, swollen curve of it, the leaking smear at the top, dragging it to swipe against your folds, “But I really, really need to fuck you right now. Okay?”

“Yes. Yes, please-,” the word is breaking on your tongue as he pushes into you, sinking into the tight, wet suck of your pussy.

Your cry is loud, feeling stretched and full as he fits himself into you, and his hands are smoothing down your back, his words soft as he checks on you.

“Feels so good,” you’re shaking your head, pushing back against where his hips are snug against your ass, “Keep going.”

“My god, you feel incredible.” Alfred grits out, gripping your hips, sliding out before thrusting sharply back in.

Adjusting, you push yourself up on your forearms, and use the table for leverage to meet his thrusts, the sweet, steady pump of his cock making the pleasure coil in your belly. Lifting your head from where it droops between your shoulders, you glance up - and it’s an even prettier sight than before.

Your face, eyes half-lidded, lips parted. Inches of bare skin, the soft sways of your breasts with every thrust. His wide hands on your hips, leading to strong, bare forearms. The broad expanse of chest, skin and a dusting of hair peeking through a hastily-unbuttoned shirt. Up to his face, the rough groan as he watches where you’re joined.

Until he feels your gaze, his eyes lifting to meet yours.

You smile at him, and you can feel his hips stutter, his rhythm faltering, his look softening, lips curling at the edges. He tugs you back, away from the table enough to curl a hand around your hip, fitting it between your thighs.

Finger touch down against soft, slick skin, and he’s already moving them in a way that has you moaning, clenching down around him. Your back bowing, eyes closing to listen to the slap of his hips against yours as he curves over you.

It’s relieving, in a way - relaxing - knowing that at this very moment, all you have to do is just concentrate on just how good you feel. That your brain can turn off, for just a moment, because his hand is making you gasp, your muscles tighten.

But you’ve never been one to be truly idle, so you keep rocking back to meet him, until your breaths are short and sharp, until you’re squeezing him each time his cock slides from you, only to thrust back in, knocking against a spot that almost has you in tears.

“I’m, oh-“ you’re sighing, eyes closing as your cheek presses against the back of your palm, flat against the table.

“I know, sweetheart. Can feel how close you are,” he sighs, his chest pressing into your back, dropping a kiss between your shoulders, “I want you to come for me again, okay?”

You nod, because he’s thrusting just a bit harder, thrusts slowing into a shallow grind, rubbing against spot again and again until you’re wound so tight you feel like you’re going to snap.

“Words, dove.” He grits out, and there’s a low timbre to his accented voice that makes you scramble to answer, as your own rocking starts to falter.

“God, yes. I’m so fucking close.” You’re whimpering, fingers flexing against the wood, “Make me come, please.”

He hums, and with another thrusts he has you there, gasping as the breath is knocked from you, your pussy pulsing around his cock. Your vision swirls, his fingers drawing it out, leaving you shaking, drooping over the table as you moan through your release, too caught up to try to be quiet.

Alfred is gripping you again, until your hips are bumping against the table again, his thrusts sounding wet with your release, his cock soaked in you.

“Oh fuck, darling.” His praise rains down on you, soft tone edged with need, “Do you want me to come in you again? God, I’ve been dreaming about how good it felt.”

You’re nodding, repeating “yes” and “please”, his fingers pinching as he loses himself - suddenly pressing deep as his cock throbs, as he spills his hot release into you, grinding himself into your cunt until he’s empty.

You watch him fall apart, basking in the sound of his groans, the hairs that break free to curl against his forehead. Not wanting to forget a single second of it.

Pushing yourself up, your torso twists so you can pull him to you, and he’s sighing into your mouth, his touch soft and reverent as he gathers you to him, carefully easing himself out.

You immediately miss him, feeling empty without him filling you, but there’s something more important at the moment, already feeling the hot drip of him on your inner thigh.

It takes some coaxing but he releases you after another kiss - and you take a couple minutes to yourself to clean up, fixing your hair into something a little more comfortable, digging around in your clutch for the spare set of underwear so you don’t have to put on the ones that are currently crumpled on the floor.

He’s sitting on the edge of the large bed when you pad out the bathroom - his head bowed, eyes downcast as a palm rests on his hip, fingers pressing in and massaging the joint.

Hearing you, his head lifts, the furrow in his brow smoothing, offering the folded bundle of cloth in his lap as you move to sit by him.

“Perhaps presumptuous of me, but I brought you a sweater. In case your clothes were not comfortable, and you wanted to stay tonight,” He explains, hands smoothing down his thighs, “And if you don’t, I’m happy to drive you home.”

“I want to stay.” You’re accepting it gratefully, tugging on the oversized maroon sweater, sliding the sleeves up your forearms. But you’re unsure if you should forget what you saw, your next words soft and slow, “Alfred… was I too rough? Is everything okay?”

He goes still at your words, and you regret asking the warm glow from earlier turning to ice in your stomach. His head tilts up, but he’s looking forward, deliberately not at you.

“No, you were perfect. It’s been a long day, and I’m just not used to… you wore me out, dove.” Alfred’s words are soft, his hands making another slow path over his thighs.

And then, quietly, another admission, “After last time, I was sore for a couple days.“

You catch his hand, weaving your fingers through his and squeezing, “You wore me out, too. Maybe we could take it easy tonight?”

He looks at you then, his close-lipped smile soft, but there’s a flicker of worry to his eyes, something you’ve never seen on his face before.

“Does that make you change your mind about staying?” Those eyes scan your face as he asks, bouncing back and forth between your own, “It’s okay if it does, I understand.”

And once again, you’re silently left wondering when the last time someone took care of him was. If it’s been months, years. A decade.

“No.” You lean to kiss him, and it seems finally, he relaxes - the strung-tight tension in his shoulders easing.

“That doesn’t change anything.”

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

netflix shadow and bone s1 e5 pt3: peak darklina

the first kiss scene Alina is so beautiful Her little smile as she picks up his kefta after he hears him call out for Ivan to get it like ooh I'm gonna play a little trick on Alek Her making him smile with a joke that's not even funny The tentativeness of it all, them tiptoeing around each other, testing the boundaries Him being taken aback by her offering to help him put on his kefta but still wanting her to and immediately resorting to business voice asking questions about official sun summoner stuff And putting on his serious business face him trying to explain away the gloves by calling them a safeguard, not a sign of him not trusting her abilities the face he makes after saying spectacle either depicting his distaste for the showiness of the event or depicting his embarrassment at how he phrased the sentence, like what the fuck did I just say (more likely the first one) Her quickly turning around and walking away after the eye contact makes her realise how close they are and him pulling a puzzled look as she does so Just. Just how adorable the energy is. Both of them making jokes to diffuse the tension, her gripping the table to maybe steady or calm herself, the looks they give to each other as if engaged in a delicate dance; god-like Him straight up just blinking and looking down and gulping as she says 'we can offer Grisha and Ravkans hope' (could be multiple things he's thinking at this point, and all of them interest me) 'That means a lot to me, Alina.' *her turning to look at his face* 'You mean a lot...' *her immediately lowering her gaze and tracing where her mal scar used to be lmao* 'to everyone' *her raising her gaze to him again* The music swelling as she walks up to him, her barely grazing her fingers against his collar, his eyes looking across hers as if in disbelief, her looking at his lips, and then her closing the gap between them. Him being a little stiff, indubitably from being shocked, and yet giving into it almost instinctively as if he can't help it. The violin coming in powerfully yet softly to emphasize the tenderness of it all. This thing has been made with so much love and I can't contain myself about it. Him opening his eyes half a second after Alina, almost as if waking up from a dream and then, following a relaxing of his facial muscles as he clearly regains his composure, immediately looking inscrutable. Her doubting herself, not losing eye contact as he stands up from the desk, but her sudden fear, regret, and embarrassment clear on her face. Her sides of her lips slowly rising giving way his own self mirroring her and breaking into smile and composing himself and breaking into smile again before saying 'Not many people surprise me, Miss Starkov'. Her now fully breaking out into a smile, her face a picture of unguarded joy, she looks down only to have his gaze follow her face. Both of them giddy in the other's presence and the audience can feel it. It feels like he is leaning in for another one when the sound of the door opening makes them spring apart, regaining their composures and standing at a respectable distance from each other. Her poorly suppressing a smile, him looking at her visibly, her mimicking him with a glance out of her periphery, causing her to give in to her smile completely. Him looking visibly distracted as he attempts to pay attention to whoever came into the room. the Jesper of it all Jesper the mega idiot not being able to control his face from doing a thing as he realises the person who caught him where he wasn't supposed to be is the same person he was making sexy eyes at before and yet regaining his composure in record time The poor stable hand actually being interested in Jesper and being adorable with Jesper just being like charm itself Can you believe looking at Jesper Llewellyn Fahey in the flesh and having him make sexy eyes at you and then forgetting about it? Because I simply cannot. The line about light role play? Felt a little not right. GO OFF STABLE HAND WHO PUSHED JESPER AGAINST A WALL AND KISSED HIM, HE LITERALLY SAID IM POPPING OFF AND

THEN HE DID Zoya Zoya saying fuck off to the random racist comment made by one of the guests, but she was racist to Alina herself? (I mean South Asian-East Asian hate is not uncommon so idk) David omg the cutie pie adjusting his hair at the fete HEARTRENDER FUCKING HUSBANDS Fedyor insisting on Ivan eating the sweet and Ivan's solemn head shake like no babe im on a diet and Fedyor being like heart eyes please eat the sweet my love and then Fedyor holding Ivan's face to make him nibble off a corner and Ivan's face splitting into a reluctant grin Kaz the actor Seeing Kaz the actor instead of Kaz the master of trickery and plans is an interesting thing Kanej being Kanej cute banter interaction, would recommend, 10/10 hints at Arken being sus The look Kaz gives Arken when Arken leaves, I really should have known, I was simply being a clown Darkling and the dumb royalty We love the Darkling suppressing his anger at these otkazat'sya rulers dissing the grisha and the little palace Alina's entrance The soft hum that we hear when Alina enters but we don't see her face Alina's adorable peeking The Darkling's expression changing despite being done af with these mfers and instantaneously on catching a glimpse of Alina, she really has that power huh He really made it look like his pupils dilated and who knows maybe they did Him trying to call her out for not following protocol but him melting and saying 'you look lovely, by the way' Her saying 'you look like you needed saving' I can't breathe you're so cool ballroom at the little palace I must confess I expected the ballroom of the winter fete to be bigger

GENYADAVID looking at each other and pretending not to look at each other, my fucking heart Kanej being Kanej Kaz implying they're gonna try to trick the people into thinking that the fake sun summoner is real and Inej being done with his shit Alina's demonstration HER NAME IS ALINA STARKOV yes mfer The way people back away as he steps, god the power of this man Inej looking at Kaz omfg Okay him clapping the darkness into the room was cool af I love the shadow summoning effects so fucking much The first bit of light that Alina summons lighting up the gold parts of her black kefta, absolute perfection Alina just enjoying her power and then looking to Alek, his lips parting when she does Aw Fedyor looking at Ivan in a I told you she could do it way Genya and Fedyor exchanging glances as Alina besties THE CROWD SAYING SANKTA ALINA INEJ SAYING SANKTA ALINA WITH HALF A TEAR IN HER EYE DAMN THIS IS POWERFUL Jesper and Dima IMMEDIATELY TRANSITIONING TO JESPER SAYING 'SAINTS' AS A NAKED STABLE BOY GETS OFF OF HIM AGAHSJSJSJKS I CAN'T IM CACKLING AT THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW HOW ARE THEY SO PERFECT (his name's dima btw) Poor fucking Dima getting frightening orders from his superior as his hookup sneaks out with horses that are definitely not his Arken the little shit Ah Arken why'd you have to go and do this I was actually amused by you before the malyen factor omg Mal's here and someone saw him getting here apparat and faith? The apparat literally jumping out of the palace walls at Alina lol man I do love the religion angle of this universe and it would have been so fucking cool if it were explored a bit better ew apparat that grab was very violent mal/darkling interaction the darkling's reaction at his recognition of mal was so funny ah yes my arch nemesis, the other angle of this teen immortal love triangle how utterly delightful someone explain the darkling's 'are you alright' to mal, is it because Alina was worried sick, is it mind games, is it curiosity, what is it Im still don't know how to feel with them attaching a literal symbol to the sun summoner, to Alina's dreams and to the stag itself 'not until I see Alina' THE LOYAL HIMBO ENERGY IN THIS ONE ISTFG I have never known nose acting until I saw Ben Barnes, he uses his nose in his acting and it is absolutely wonderful; case in point, the 'i beg your pardon' to mal with the rage making his voice shake okay but why is every mal darkling interaction like, everything the prompt answer our baby mal gives and the satisfaction it brings to his face, fucking amazing the darkling being literally struck by this, his mouth literally agape, king this is a 20 year old lmao Baghra! OMG WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF BAGHRA'S FIRE YES Genya supremacy Genya beating Arken up let's fucking go Marie's plot influence and Racism? Yellowface? again? hmm bardugo (then again, I have no authority over this, I'm south asian) Ive already talked about how I'm interested in knowing if and how changing Marie's time and place of death going to influence the plot much because in the books it caused a chain reaction doing a lot of stuff Alina, my love Alina just, laughing with other Grisha, feeling at home, ah be still my treacherous heart Mal's confrontation scene with Alina that was in the books being retconned to Mal calling out to her body double, hmm, probably to make Mal more likeable, I don't have any feelings about this particularly Nadia and Fedyor Okay the both of them, smiling and walking, hand in hand, cute mlm wlw solidarity moment that I missed during the first watch Kanej interacting with Alina Why is Alina literally so adorable The music picking up as the Inferni catches sight of the 'limping man' (what? it was funny when he said it) Blue Irises Alina's face showing a certain sense of calm when Alek shows up Alina's face after the Darkling says 'for you' and presents her with blue irises is something like gasp okay you've got game sexy shadow man mal fite time omg I thought she was taking mal to talk to Baghra or smth not to kill him 🤡 aren't oprichnikis like

otkazat'sya or am I missing smth? Because Baghra's spy is obvs a fabrikator THE DESK SCENE omg the scene hath arriveth the fact that Alina can't stop smiling gods, the flirting 'I don't recall this, being part of the schedule' him turning back and saying 'it isn't' her hiding her face through the cover of smelling the flowers and just how coy she acts, like the literal eyelid batting Ma'am how embarrassing for you to have feelings rn these two are my absolute favs of all time the camera moving as they move from their spots on which they had to stand on to get the shot of their shadows almost kissing her nodding and smiling at him saying 'she'll probably be alright' like okay I'm ready for smooches kiss me already and him going 'don't you think' trying to savour this moment IM SORRY BUT THE FUCKING SCORE AT THE MOMENT THEIR LIPS MEET YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CANNOT COPE the way his hand is so big that he can almost hold her entire face in it the way she grips the back of his head I'm sorry I feel so disrespectful saying this but the sounds they make+I think that's a um titty grab or maybe it's just a holding someone and the placement was um unintended but I doubt it because everything in this fucking show is so intentional+ the lift up onto the desk+ the faces they make+ um god I'm going to hell for this but when they sort of grind into each other (I understand this is acting and they're just good at their job) but god does all of this make my heart race and also makes me happy I guess LITERAL GIGGLES I can't I'm soft 🥺🥺🥺 his little head shake at the knock on the door when he goes in for one last kiss before she gets off the desk and her eyes going all oy you, go get the door, I'm not going anywhere don't make whoever it is wait is so adorable and domestic her just standing there mouth agape to herself when he walks away HIM STILL FLUSHED AND BLUSHING AND HIS HAPPINESS CLEAR AS DAY ON HIS FACE WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR his gaze flits to her when Ivan says Alina was the target 'I'll be waiting' love, I physically can't anymore Little cheek hold and walk away Her little smile to herself nearly fading before he jumps back in again to her surprise and to ours to hold her face with both his hands and kiss her one last time, and yes, he does kiss like he's being drafted for the war in the morning Her little mouth open and close and then her little smile to herself after he leaves I refuse to watch the rest of the episode right now because no let me steep in the darklina bliss

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 71 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 176 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 172 responses

This week’s episode keeps up the high mark of the previous episodes, with 98.8% of respondents giving the episode a score of 3 or higher (overwhelmingly 4s and 5s). Nice!

It was aight. 

It's cool

8.5/10 

great!

Very rocky imo in terms of animation, as the cracks are beginning to show but overall look like the backgrounds and music choices were top tier.

Really good episode, I was disappointed in the jacket scene but it’s not the end of the world

loved it

It was overall a great episode I loved it. 

🔥🔥🔥

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 174 responses

46.6% of respondents overall were most excited to see Eren meeting up with Floch and the others, with 23.6% of those respondents favoring the scene of Eren putting on his jacket specifically. 12.1% most enjoyed seeing the angry citizens shouting out the Survey Corps motto. 9.8% were thrilled to see Zackley’s death animated. 8% were psyched to see Pieck in disguise at the end, and 6.9% most enjoyed the moment where Hitch caught Armin red-handed trying to touch Annie’s crystal.

YOUR REACTION TO EREN PUTTING ON HIS JACKET? 171 responses

Eren putting on his jacket was a scene many obsessed over when it first appeared on page and many looked forward to seeing it animated. Most of the response choices were focused on various forms of swooning over Eren and his abs. Some (13.5%) stated that they didn’t really understand the dramatism and some others (another 13.5%) simply stated that they did not see much in Eren outright. We’ve gotten a lot of write-ins about comparisons to the pre-animated trailer shot of said scene. More on that in a later question. 

i mean i understand the thirst, but eh

Prefer manga :/

The trailer did it better 

Meh. Better in the trailer and the manga.

TF was that? Well it's still good in its own way. 

YES! YES! YES! YES! Y E S! 

both "HOOOOOLYYYYYY 😳" and "so dramatic and for what?"

Trailer/Manga shot was way better

Manga shot/trailer version are way better. Dissapointed

Trailer looked better :(

Mappa only made Reiner thicc, why Eren is so frain he has 1,85! He is so strong in the manga

I don't care

Manbun.........👀

He can have my babies anytime 😌💅🏻

Not as sexy as advertised; that’s okay, though.

That scene looked weird af ngl. It looked better in the trailer 😔

Me after THAT eren scene: 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

Eren makes my dick rise

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU NOW THAT WE APPEAR TO BE GOING BACK TO LEVI AND ZEKE’S PERSPECTIVE NEXT WEEK FOR A BIT? 171 responses

Levi and Zeke’s chemistry has been the subject of praise for many, so it’s no wonder that 87.1% of respondents are rather excited to get back to seeing Levi and Zeke again. Wow!

ARE ARMIN’S FEELINGS FOR ANNIE GENUINELY HIS OWN? 173 responses

Armin’s feelings for Annie have been looked at under a microscope for a variety of reasons, which is why we’re asking if you believe that his feelings for her are genuine. A plurality, 49.1% think that they’re a mixture of his feelings for her, as well Bertolt’s. Slightly less (30.6%) believe that Armin’s feelings for her existed since before any of the recent developments. Only a select few believe that he either became interested in her post-timeskip or that his feelings are solely influenced by Bertolt. One person doesn’t think Armin has any feelings for Annie at all. And a few others just don’t care.

Bertmin simping for Annie and that apparently being enough for her to start considering him as boyfriend material is the fucking worst. I hate this shit. It's made me like both characters considerably less.

Uhh Armin where ya reaching?! 

He was interested with her even before it was revealed she was the Female Titan and now that he has Bertholdt's memories, he sympathizes with her too and wants to understand her more so maybe Bert's memories intensified his feelings

His feelings for Annie are mostly his own. Bert's feelings might be in there a little, but the feelings are still Armin's.

CONTINUITY ALERT! EREN HAS HIS HAIR UP IN A BUN IN YELENA’S FLASHBACK. THOUGHTS? 173 responses

Uh-oh, Eren’s hairstyle moment. It would appear that there might be a continuity error with Yelena’s flashback and whatever that means for the timeline. A slight plurality (37%) didn’t seem to care about this, actually. But 33.5% appeared to believe that it was a mistake on MAPPA’s part that might get fixed in the BluRay version of the episode. 16.8% also believe that it was a mistake, but don’t believe it’ll get fixed. 9.8% think that it’s actually a retcon and that Eren’ll have the man bun when Chapter 123 gets adapted in Final Season Part 2.  

I hope it gets fixed because it's bugging me.

I really wish it was like how it was in the manga. Eren looks good with his hair down in his 16-17-year-old phase. Despite the error, it wasn't a deal breaker for the episode.

He looks totally gorgeous with his hair up in a bun, please let this mistake be

Honestly I don’t mind it. It looks great either way.

Eren in a manbun is a total win for me!

WHICH PIECES OF INFORMATION MISSING FROM YELENA’S ADMISSION IN THE MANGA DO YOU WISH WOULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE ADAPTATION? 163 responses

As with almost all dialogue-heavy chapters in this series, there are cuts. In this episode, these cuts mostly affected the conversation between Yelena and Pixis. The most yearned for cut material was Yelena never telling Eren to go along with the plan and Yelena saying that she used Floch as a “go-between” between her and Eren. Others also noted missing lines about Yelena wanting Eren to stand up for himself, Yelena stating that Zeke gave the volunteers a hopeful future and the idea that her and Eren came to quick agreement. The plurality (31.9%) however, didn’t seem to mind any cuts. 

WHAT ARE YOU OVERALL FEELINGS ABOUT SOME OR ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED DETAILS BEING CUT? 161 responses

There is often a sort of expectation to have everything (or almost every) line from the manga adapted in the anime, so it’s interesting to see how people react to that sort of stuff. An almost 50% of respondents stated that they didn’t really care about the cuts, whereas smaller handfuls of respondents stated that the cuts either took away from the characterization of the conversation, or from the context and timeline-building purposes. 

I'm not thrilled about the cuts, but I understand MAPPA can only fit so much in on each episode, so I'm okay with it

the yelena/volunteers plot has always been wonky and hard to follow

I don’t think it’s a problem, they need to cut certain things. 

i literally never notice but i agree that it makes it harder to piece things together 

Meh

It might seem for anime watchers that Yelena didnt do much, and Floch and Zeke that did the most part, in their own plans. Floch to betray and Zeke in predicting Eren wouldnt be on his side in some way. Yelena helped Zeke a lot to where he arrived in the rumbling 

All of the above

ZACKLEY WALKS OVER TO HIS TORTURE MACHINE IN THE ANIME BEFORE MIKASA ASKS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO EREN, RATHER THAN GLANCE OVER AT IT AFTER HER QUESTION. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE? 170 responses

There was a partially comedic insinuation in the manga that Zackley thought about strapping Eren to his “art piece”. The insinuation is possibly still there in the anime, but in a different form. So we asked how you felt about it. Slightly below a half (48.8%) stated that they thought the subtlety was still there. 18.8% thought the subtlety was lost with the small change and 8.8% believed the change made Zackley seem less unhinged. 21.8% really didn’t care at all. 

Why is this a question?

The glance was funny as fuck in the manga, but might have been awkward to pull of in the animation

They're blown up tho, does it even matter?

DID EREN KNOW ABOUT THE BOMB? 170 responses

Whether Eren truly knew about the bomb is a bit unclear to this day and with how it endangered Armin and Mikasa. A plurality (40%) believe he knew about the bomb, but did not know about his childhood friends meeting Zackley. Slightly less (30.6%) think that Eren did not know about either the bomb or AM meeting the Artist. A minority (7.1%) does believe that Eren knew about both the bomb and meeting and 21.8% simply aren’t sure!

Even if he didn’t know, he obviously doesn’t care either way.

THERE IS SOME DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER EREN’S JACKET SCENE WAS BETTER ANIMATED IN THE PROMOTIONAL VIDEO OR IN THE EPISODE ITSELF. WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE? 170 responses

Here we go… The elephant in the room… Which Eren abs scene did you prefer? The Promotional video or the actual episode? A somewhat slight majority (57.1%) seemed to like the version seen in the promotional video more than the episode itself versus the ones who preferred the episode’s style (42.9%).

THE EPISODE MARKS THE BEGINNING OF FLOCH’S ACTIONS AS THE VOICE OF THE YEAGERISTS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT IT? 170 responses

Floch has always been a controversial character and the developments seen post-time skip have not been any less debatable. You may floching love him or floching hate, but he’s here and he’s staying for a while. A plurality (48.8%) notes that although they may not personally be a fan of the character, they truly do appreciate the nuance his appearance gives to the story. Just over a quarter (25.3%) stated that as big fans of the character, they’re looking forward to all the screentime the Flochster will receive. In contrast, 20.6% despise the man and his questionable haircut and are also dreading the showcase he’ll soon receive.  

I hate Floch and will cheer again when he dies, but I enjoy his character.

I detest Floch but I'm not dreading all the screen time he'll take up.

Since he died in the manga, my hatred for him has cooled down somewhat now that I'm watching the anime.

I am once again asking for you to shut the fuck up, Floch.

WE KNOW NOW THAT EREN DID CONSPIRE WITH FLOCH TO BETRAY ZEKE TO ENACT THE RUMBLING. STILL, DO YOU BELIEVE HE DID IT BECAUSE HE HAS THE SAME BELIEFS AS FLOCH, OR WAS HE JUST USING FLOCH AND THE YEAGERISTS AS A MEANS TO AN END? 161 responses

An overwhelming amount of respondents (87.6%) stated that they believe Eren never truly saw eye to eye with Floch and his ideology and that Eren was simply using Floch as a means to an end. In contrast, 9.3% truly do think that Eren was ideologically similar to Floch and the “New Eldian Empire”. A select few thought you couldn’t just say one way or another. 

They both wanted to protect Paradis

DO YOU THINK IF THE YEAGERISTS, BESIDES FLOCH, KNEW ABOUT THE FULL SCALE RUMBLING BEFOREHAND THAT THEY WOULD WILLINGLY FOLLOW EREN? 167 responses

The majority (53.3%) feel that the Yeagerists would see a divide if they knew beforehand that Eren wanted to initiate the rumbling, with some sticking around for the cause and others possibly leaving because it’s too extreme. 25.1% believe that they all would have fully supported the rumbling in the name of their own survival. 15% believe that every Yeagerist already knew about the plan to commence the rumbling, and only 6% feel that they would most certainly have betrayed the Yeager brothers (and Floch) if they had known. 

I don’t know, this is a loaded question and I’m tired.

DO YOU THINK THAT, IF THE STORY ENDS PEACEFULLY, MIKASA WILL HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN HIZURU? 170 responses

While this plotline may not be going anywhere in the manga (or so it seems), the reminder of its existence is brought to light again as we revisit these older moments from the manga. 32.4% feel that Mikasa wouldn’t leave Paradis behind to start a life on Hizuru. 23.5% think that she wouldn’t leave Paradis behind, necessarily, but will still have a role to play in Hizuru. 21.2% think it doesn’t matter because Isayama has completely discarded (or forgotten) about this plotline. 12.4% don’t know what to predict (if anything) and only 8.2% believe that her future lies in Hizuru beyond the main storyline.

The last two options plus me not caring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hizuru is already rumbled, gone, but she will continue the azumabito clan in paradis

Is no one else gonna question Kiyomi's hair being sucked into her skull??? HELLO MA'AM???

Hizuru is likely flattened

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 171 responses

Episode 72 has already broadcasted as of the completion of this poll. For scenes that were most anticipated, 35.7% were most looking forward to seeing Levi and Zeke’s interaction in the forest. 33.3% most looked forward to Niccolo leaning straight from Gabi’s mouth that she is Sasha’s killer. 18.7% highly anticipated the Blouses learning about Gabi killing Sasha, and 9.4% were looking forward to Gabi/Falco and the Blouses gathering at Niccolo’s restaurant. Only a small amount were looking forward to Niccolo protecting Jean and Connie from drinking the wine.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Man the animation was gonky 

no levi </3

So many faces of Niles are weirds !

Let hange aloneeeeeeee and happy, please

I have no word for this, but I feeling good

Shit is getting really real now! 

Everyone talking about Eren’s abs and I just wanna say the music in that scene was amazing!

I loved how it was all neatly put together and fast moving

Armin looked so good. Homie walked from point A to B and i SCREAMED. Thank you. 

i wish they included eren's warhammer escape from the prison, besides that solid episode all around, the people chanting 'dedicate your hearts' gave me chills 

I can't stand Hitch at all but MAPPA made her really pretty. Re: The jacket scene The trailer version was pretty much identical to the manga panel. But I liked the version that made it into the final episode too. People have been so ridiculous about MAPPA ""ruining everything"" this season, they should stop watching if that's how they feel. I thought Eren looked great and found the sun shining on his abs funny. The scenery was better in the episode, imo. I hope they don't cut Jean's line about booze not caring about what race you are. Lmao

Meh. It's not bad of course, I just find the rythm weird and I don't really feel many emotions watching the episodes. And I was so thirsty for the jacket scene, and it turned out weird too.

Mappa pls stop drawing eren like shit he is gorgeous in the manga

MMGH SOON!! LET'S GOOOOOOO

You friccin moron, you just got zooked!

i miss eremin </3

Wish they had shown how eren used his titan powers to escape.

I'm so not looking forward to the controversy that's gonna be reignited during the EMA talk scene. I'm actually dreading it, but we'll finally get the Levi vs Beast Titan scene so I'll be fine

112 will destroy ships 

I felt the animation was flawless as usual but the script was kinda boring, I expected more of these aspects: -Yelena, it was bland with the cuts -Hange, they cut something I cant figure what in this Yeagerists coup act that turned her scenes a little bit lacking? Idk something -Again the soundtrack in the episodes is so silent. The only episode so far I liked the ost beyond the Opening and Closing themes is Reiner episode. I miss the melodrama of Witstudio osts

Eren putting his jacket on in slow-speed whilst talking at regular speed is fucking trippy

Just happy to see Hitch!

It was slow and mainly plot driven. I enjoyed it despite the changes.

goddamn is that a hella well-animated explosion

more abs please

Great episode. Really ridiculous how many people overreacted about the jacket scene. It's ok to perfer the way the trailer did it but to those who say Mappa is ruining the adaptation because of minor things like this, calm down. 

I wish the jacket scene was better But over all the ep is pretty good

Boring, but then again so was this phase in the manga.

I really like the VA they chose for Onyankopon! His voice is very warm and genuine, which suits his character well

The sunset was so aesthetically pleasing 

yoooo just read ch. 138 and im crying in da club :(

These MAPPA episodes have been a low point for me. I’m trying to enjoy them because I love this story but it feels like a chore.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 161 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

[mantra4ia]

The Rise of Skywalker: Expanded Reaction Episode II (spoilers ahead)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I must preface my opinions with the one central point of view that has never wavered: you can be a Star Wars fan and a film critic simultaneously.

Dislikes (big and small)

So in this new trilogy, does everyone know all about the secretive Sith? No one knows where Exogol-Sith-home-world is without a wayfinder. Yet some random spice traders know who the Sith are and that they have a runic language, but nearly the entire Jedi culture disappeared until the tale of Luke Skywalker revived it. This dislike is not isolated to RoS, but it's so odd considering that in the prequels and OT, the Emperor did not put the knowledge of the Sith right out in the open.

Too much telling, not enough doing. I detest plot reveals via exposition, because a majority of the time explain-y dialogue is far inferior to natural conversation. But for two-thirds of the movie, I couldn't settle into the world because I felt like I was being told a Star Wars story instead of being in it. Case point 1: Poe's argument that Rey is training instead of being on the front line to try to verbally push the narrative that she's not just naturally too-gifted. Case point 2: Explaining Force heal to the audience (via droid) after its already been demonstrated as if we can't interpret how it works. AND YET we get no planet captions? Who's advice are you listening to? Disney could spell everything else out in dialogue when it was unnecessary and borderline condescending to audience, but when it mattered you couldn't give us planetary captions so I blinked and missed the fact that we opened with Kylo Ren kicking a** and taking names on freaking Mustafar! That was a great scene. Epic. Kylo’s on a mission, and there ain’t no questing here - it’s as fast and direct as the throat punch. He’s tired of being jerked around, he’s in a position of power to demand answers, and he’s going for the head of the Emperor, all while I was like...was that Mustafar, that was Mustafar, except now we just left Mustafar. DAMMIT.

We see the repair on Kylo's mask but not the repair of Luke's saber, or Rey building her own saber? TLJ broke the most iconic lightsaber and RoS just fixed it off screen (see point above)? I suppose this shouldn't be shocking since they introduced Palpatine IN THE CRAWL, but it was disappointing.

Did like the opening crawl, did not like how it was used as Palpatine’s business card. I think my exact words were: did they really, what kind of movie am I here for?

Leia's death. I don't buy for a second that establishing a Force visitation with Kylo across the galaxy was enough to kill her. TLJ (in my opinion) demonstrated enough to establish her as a powerful force user, which Rise of Skywalker doubled down on using the flashback training scene. So no, I don't think the exertion of it was enough to take her life unless it was inferred that she either wasn't recovered from the events of TLJ or that the Force sensitive impact of Luke's death was taking an extended toll on her, or that she was somehow already overdoing it trying to use other Force abilities behind the scene to protect the resistance/ reach out to Luke. I understand that with Carrie Fisher's (rest in peace) sudden death it would make certain practical sense for Leia to die if fitting, but put all that explanatory dialogue to some good use for once and build up tension so that Leia's death makes sense.

Luke's Force ghost being underutilized. From the beginning I didn't have a problem with Luke's conclusion in Last Jedi (minus a subtle eyeroll at the noble sacrifice trope being easily confused with honor) because it doesn't bother me whether a character is living or not as long as they are still growing. I thought, I hoped, I legitimately put money on the fact the Rise of Skywalker would use Luke in the training of Rey or the haunting of Ben and that he would play an active Force ghost role. He was used for damage control. That was infuriating.

Han Solo. I recognize the irony of this moment being in both my likes and gripes. While I liked seeing Han bestow Ben forgiveness, even if he was just a memory and not a ghost, it quickly became a hollow sort of nostalgia. FULL POST HERE.

Why in the world is there an arbitrary 16-hour frame before the Exogol fleet strike? The Last Jedi gave us a slow space chase and now what, the executive team thinks that the polar opposite is the answer? So you already have to wrap of an entire saga in a 2-3 hour real world runtime, and you've decided to amp up the pace and cram that into 16 hours of Star Wars time just for funsies while the Emperor broadcasts propaganda to kill morale? Rushed, forced, we just spent a chunk of the movie at Fyre Festival in a space desert, don't tell me there wasn't more time to allocate for imminent doom.

So essentially, we had a StarKiller base in TFA, mini-Death Star canon in TLJ, and a thousand Death Star planet killing cannons on Star Destroyers? LET that part of THE PAST DIE!

The execution of Leia training Rey. The idea was wonderful...in practice you can really tell the dialogue was built around her, and the scenes suffer for it. Execution, for the sake of preserving the character Carrie built, may have been accomplished by Tricia or Joely Fisher or her friend Meryl Streep as a way to still honor her.

A case for triple / quadruple convenience. Star Wars has always been a universe of happy coincidences, but Rise of Skywalker takes them to new extremes to the point it smacked me out of the movie. Every movie has it's own unique level of “good faith reserves” after which point plot conveniences elicit “you've got to be kidding” reactions. This happened to me during the setup of Force healing. FULL POST HERE.

Execution of Finn's character. Apart from his force-sensitivity and connection to the trooper defectors, I think Finn's plot regressed in this film each time he had to follow in Rey's wake every time she went solo, (going after Rey in the sciff, yelling Rey in the Death Star battle, Rey I have something to tell you). I thought that we had gotten past this in TLJ when Finn found purpose in the Resistance and something worth fighting for, but old habits die hard. 

Scavenger hunt questing and the damn Sith Dagger. If part of this was in the crawl, that might have been good with me. I get that Rey's a scavenger – it's good to see her in her element like TFA, climbing through the Death Star at the culmination – but it's far too time consuming to do the double header of dagger/wayfinder and coincidental. She could have been standing anywhere on Kef Bir, the oceanic moon of Endor, but she happened to be standing exactly where she needed to be with no reference to force power, and the tides hadn't moved any part of the wreck and the topography hadn't changed at all for the protractor on the dagger to work?! I’m a nerd about mathematical, logical tools, but they don't work well in a Sith alchemy plot! Even when we try for logic, the convenience appears, which could have been passable if I still had good faith. In the words of John Mulaney, “you spent it already?!”

Nostalgia aside, where are the stakes? They're trapped in a sand cave / wait, no they're not. They're being hunted through Fyre Festival and they don't have a get away ship / oh yeah they do, and its fully fueled, parked in the open, not stripped for parts. There are about five different “fake” deaths where the tension releases so fast, and two real deaths of spies that should have been given beats but were skimmed over: Chewie's dead / but no it was the wrong transport, 3PO's peril / never mind we've got backups, Zori wants to turn Rey in for bounty / then they have the quickest fight in Star Wars and are on good terms. Instead of taking big risks and getting reward, this film banked on unraveling the plot by the flip of a two-headed coin and settling for surprise “Oh, they did wot now?” instead of awe.

“Retconning” The Last Jedi / plucking it out of the timeline. Rise of Skywalker, in many ways, feels like a direct sequel to The Force Awakens. Direct slaps to TLJ include but not limited to: Holdo maneuver “one-in-a-million,” and Luke plucking Rey's saber from the fire. “A Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect (except when its Kylo’s),” and Luke lamenting about going into exile as a mistake. Concepts that could have been accepted, some even verbatim foregone conclusions from TLJ, were it not for terrible execution clearly framed at goodwill appeasement.

So, the Knights of Ren were window dressing? They just follow Kylo around like bouncers and when he turned to the light, they turned on him? A) Like the praetorian guard for Snoke, they are supposed to be loyal to Kylo and if they’re not we should get to see that, B) they just made Ben look boss as he took them out. Epic saber fight, lackluster idea, especially when the Knights were so speculated on and could have had mythos. Take them out of the film and put Luke's ghost in. Problem solved.

Rey as a Palatine / OP (Overpowered) Rey. All the one-ups that ensued between Rey and her grandfather. No thank you. I don't mind that she has power and is very naturally and diversely talented, don't let lineage play a factor. It was vastly more meaningful when she was ‘ordinary.’ I could go into a whole dedicated post on this.

Hux as a spy? No, I can't imagine that's what TFA set him up for. Interesting concept - I don’t want you to win, I want Kylo to lose - terrible setup. The Last Jedi did it better, Benicio del Toro is one of the only things I'll give Canto Byte credit for.

What even is the point of Zori apart from a character used to deliver a plot point of security clearance? She is very much used to prop up Poe's story. I like the idea of the character, I don't dig her role, and even more so I don’t like how the destruction of her planet first was used to fish for emotion. Invest more in Poe's struggles ascending to acting general.

Palpatine overall, from his intro in the crawl to his motives – He's such a cool, larger then life character, it shamefully never feels like we JJ knows what he wants out of the Emperor as his villain. Palpatine's motivation for decades was the dark, unnatural Sith ability to live forever sought by his master Plagueis before him, yet in RoS he's so utterly content to say “kill me so that you can ascend to Empress and I can flow through you (possess you)” – and then the discovery that draining the “Dyad in the Force” can regenerate him changes the plan immediately. Principally its an interesting idea using him as a puppet master to tie *all* the trilogies together, but for me it didn't work as nothing else about his character felt cohesive. And then when his own Force lightning is blasted at him, hasn't he learned to stop using it (throwback: Mace Windu) and pick up a saber and fight. Fool my once, shame on you, fool me twice and I'll cut you down. Wouldn't it be so great if, despite his wizened state, he still had latent combat skills? We were sooo robbed of that opportunity.

“Undermining” Anakin’s arc as the chosen one. I don't think bringing in Palpatine undoes Darth Vader's sacrifice – because Anakin still brought peace and balance to the Force when he sent Papatine back to the shadows. Balance restored by nature is not a permanent state, so it makes sense that the balance Anakin brought would eventually be challenged - but it does take away from the satisfaction of his story, especially considering that we do not see him return in physical form.

I get the "Be with me" use of Force ghost voices from all the Star Wars mediums. It was teed up right in the very beginning of the training montage. But you’re STAR WARS, you are making history. Go big, take a risk, PUT THE FORCE GHOSTS ON SCREEN (or at least a few from the central saga)! Give me Obi-Wan, Anakin, Yoda, maybe Mace, Luke, and Leia bestowing their energy on Rey, or go home! I mean my goodness, the Emperor had Snoke clones, but they were just sitting around as props in tank. If you wanted to go really big you could get all the clones of his main Sith disciples on screen (Snoke, Maul, Dooku), and have him force drain them to illustrate Sidious matching the power of the Force ghosts. But instead Disney played it safe.

Rey’s return to Tatooine and taking on the name Skywalker. FULL POST HERE with better options than appropriating the name Skywalker, especially considering that the plot does plenty to fulfill the film’s marquee during the Final Order Battle on Exogol when Rey embodies the Force of the Jedi and they will her to RISE. Taking on the name by contrast seems to trivialize via overkill what was delivered on (imperfectly, but powerfully).

The death of Ben Solo / “the redemption”: This depends on largely on what how you define and merit redemption. I can see why some loved it and others hated it – if you define redemption as “Kylo turned good after all that universe wrecking carnage and now he has access to light side force ability?!” then I can see where you didn't like or want his redemption arc, and might be satisfied with his death as a conclusion. If, like me, you didn't see Kylo's redemption not as the act of turning good but rather turning to face his own reflection / the thing he most feared – himself – exactly like Rey – and that's what allowed him access to the light side abilities to heal, that's fascinating as h***.  My gripe is I don't think Ben needed to die for the redemption to work or as a way to finish his arc. (FULL POST HERE) Again, why another Luke-themed noble demise? It could have worked for Luke’s character because Rise of Skywalker follows TLJ and gives you room to breath and play. But there’s nothing after this episode for Kylo in the same way.

So peace was created by defeating Palpatine and his fleet? Nah. First of all, Rey killed Darth Sidious exactly like he “wanted” her to and yet he didn't possess her as promised, while an order of Sith stand around watching– okay, was the Emperor really that attune in his Force Cognizance that he expressed with full confidence to his followers “whatever happens, the ritual will be complete. Don't move, sit back, enjoy the show”? And there's still the fragmented First Order (see the previous point above). Not every First Order officer and ship were loyal to or trusting of the Emperor and his comrade General Pryde, so it would stand to reason they didn't all heed the call to the final order and join the fray. What happens to them now that their Supreme Leader (Kylo) abdicated and then died? Yes, they are far fewer in number and they no longer have the firepower of Exogol behind them so they retreat into that shadows and regroup like opposition always does. I don't believe for a second that they all gave up or were defeated by the groundswell of Resistance. And now we are right back to where Return of the Jedi left us almost beat for beat.

Initial Reaction *** Episode I *** Episode III

[theorynexus]

Proceeding logically, we now go to 71.

As I lay sleeping in the night, a thought occurred to me:    it seems much more likely that it will be our Calliope who reigns over the Candy timeline than Alt!Calliope.  This is primarily because of the fact that Alt!Calliope had their fingerprints all over the mainstream of Homestuck, but also because of they suggest that the only reason they interfere with the Meat timeline is because of Dirk’s tyranny.   If in fact the Candy timeline is, as a baseline, a Cherubic paradise, as was implied, then this would give Alt!Calliope no real specific reason to have inserted themselves into it in the first place (albeit the logic of that statement is a bit complicated and tenuous).   Furthermore, this becomes likelier because Dirk suggests Calliope was acting particularly grim because she knew that John Egbert would be sacrificing himself in the Meat timeline; thus, (given the reasonable suggestion that Calliope’s will for John to survive could potentially either be responsible for the split in the timelines or possibly for her theoretical control of one of them) and particularly considering both the necessity of the defeat of Lord English and the suggestion on Dirk’s part that the fandom would be debating the legitimacy of the Candy Timeline (whether it “counts” as living, or something like that), it makes some sense that the supposedly more “fan fiction-y” and sweet/saccharine timeline might be one which our Calliope is responsible for. If this is the case, erm... well, I may not be able to post everything that comes up in the future, there.  Given Roxy’s description of how Calliope freaked out and started drawing pictures, later on, well...  I am reminded of the stated nudity that is involved in some of said pictures, and obviously Tumblr will not allow for the posting of pornography; thus, I will either have to be using cropped images or merely (obliquely) describing what is happening on those panels, should that eventuality come to pass. On a different note:  Maybe Troll Obama Karkat will actually succeed in his election attempt, this time around! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This strongly (and most disturbingly) reminds me of the heavy “convincing” that Dirk performed as his second to last resort, when he wasn’t giving characters direct orders. I do very much hope that if this is indeed our Calliope’s work, they don’t subvert the free will of the inhabitants of her timeline very often.  I would be very, very disappointed in them.    >:

Well, well... this is certainly quite interesting. It could be either interpreted as him believing that his decision doesn’t matter, either way, or, given his contempt for the leaf and his toss of it away, his rejection of that sort of bounded, directional choice; thus his embrace of free will, despite the previously apparent pre-determined pathways Paradox Space would allow for in order to ensure the single direction it had in mind (away from the stem) was carried out.  A most interesting metaphor, indeed. As for the sky:   It is VERY interesting that John doesn’t react with disgust toward the sky, given his stated belief that it was over-saturated and painful in comparison to his former home’s own sky, when he returned with all of the Kids for their “first big meet-up,” from their perspective.    Perhaps it was only the jostling of his memories that actually seeing that Earth’s sky again allowed in the first place that made him feel, in retrospect, that the one in the world they created felt “wrong.” Or maybe “that blue” is meant to suggest the same reaction and a desire to embrace it, rather than reject it as the other version of him had. It’s a bit of a shame that it’s not elaborated upon. Oh, by the way, there were certain things that the Meat Timeline didn’t address which will indeed be very important for Paradox Space’s great progression, and which this timeline could fulfill, so I guess that that could further ensure that this timeline has an important reason/justification for being.   Chief among them is ensuring that the Calliope/Alt!Calliope split happens in the first place.   Given the fact that the Retconned Alpha Kids’ session could not have produced a new universe, let alone one with trolls and earth in it, so the previously speculated split in the world’s timelines as a result of the shenanigans John ensured could not actually work out.   Instead, it will have to be the Meat/Candy split that functions to ensure this split possibility (with Alt!Calliope actually coming from the Meat world, which will not have anyone to greet the Cherubs, but will still have the Meteor available to eventually have them start the Game, I think; whereas the Candy timeline will have normal Calliope’s emergence, and Gamzee). I actually thought about this in the 3 day period where I could not post because my account had been terminated by Tumblr, much to my chagrin, but... to even greater chagrin, I am reporting this to you now because I unfortunately saw a flash of “It’s time to release the bard from his prison,” or something like that, and now I have to admit it to you all because, despite the fact that it makes my actual development of the idea on my own more questionable and the revelation weaker in general,  I cannot help but be honest with you and leave judgment in the matter up to your judicious hands, rather than trying to bury the matter. Darn self-spoiling nonsense... .    >.<

Hmm. This is a very interesting moment. Particularly in light of the narrator’s way of describing things, including the surprise involved, here.   It’s got me quite questioning whether Calliope is actually in charge of the narration as of the current moment. The way that things are being worded at the moment sounds like the person involved doesn’t know about the gender concerns of Calliope or Roxy, as of now. Furthermore, their halting, uncertain way of narrating it very much reminds me of Dave.  I am in no way certain of this assessment, however, especially considering Dave has indeed been in contact with Roxy and Calliope and should have known about their identity concerns for some time.   Hmmm. It’s possible, of course, that they haven’t really reached that point in their personal development, but I would guess this isn’t the case.  The plot thickens.

I’m quite sure that this matter will be figured out momentarily. This may very well be the moment that actually starts the John/Roxy relationship in the first place: the moment of affection resulting from the fact that Roxy knew John was likely going to die on this mission could make her feel confident enough to suggest they enter into such a relationship, in fact.   Or it could just be one step among many. Guess there’s no point in speculation.

At least for a while, yes. Yes, it shall be awesome. As for that... John, did you really think of them as anything less than family to begin with?  I mean, you knew that they quite literally were, as far as the Kids are concerned, ever since you Ectobiologized them!   And the trolls have quite seriously been grafted into that family at that point, don’t you think? But regardless of these silly little revelations that a depressed person might legitimately suddenly have, even if he should already know these things...

That is an interesting thing to say, Calliope. Well, two interesting things.  The equivocation fading obviously refers to the fact that, for the most part, their depth of connection to the canon will be fading in the near future, despite the fact that the actions in this timeline will heavily influence and directly lead to certain necessary canonical outcomes (specifically, the rise of Caliborn, and through him, Lord English).   The other interesting matter is those plans. That Calliope has interesting plans which she wishes to impose upon John is most interesting, indeed, and makes a great bundle of question marks (uncertainty noodles, were they called?) pop up over my head.

My guess is that this will specifically be the version of Gamzee seen in Collide?   At the very least, that would make sense, given the way his fate was mysteriously glossed over in the flash.  Maybe he didn’t get sucked into the black hole as so many were speculating.

I fricking love the way this is describing her. So cute. <3

This is also incredibly cute, and I adore the contrast between Calliope’s enthusiasm and semi-innocence and John’s skepticism and disdain.  It makes for a very rich tapestry to devour.

Hah. Void is blocking his interpretation of Roxy’s thoughts, even now, I think.  I think that’s what this means, at least.  I am indeed quite curious about whether this impenetrability will persist in this timeline, generally, though.

Yes, levitas does generally make one feel more whimsical and act less grave.  I wonder if this suggests John is more in-touch with Breath, in this timeline.  (I wonder if his binding to the fate of Paradox Space [and perhaps his wonderful dice hammer in particular] was what made it impossible for him to flee out of Lord English’s mouth like the Breeze whistling through his teeth.  LE does have ridiculous super speed, but Davepeta was able to interject their claws to [partially] protect John in time, at least. Hmmmm.    ...  I wonder if we’ll be able to see Jasprosespritesprite in this timeline, some time. )

Do:   

[cwl190]

Week 6

Amy Tan's "Pixel by Pixel":

“You take the ideas you rely on for survival, and discard what weighs you down” (32).

“...when I had a feeling like sadness, I couldn’t find a word that meant everything that I felt inside of me. I always felt that words were inadequate, that I’d never been able to express myself- ever. Even now, it’s so hard to express what I think and feel, the totality of what I’ve seen. But this loneliness is the impetus for writing, because language is the best means we have to connect” (33).

Michael Chabon's "To Infinity and Beyond"

“I saw the rotted dust and bones that had once deliciously been Beatriz Viterbo; I saw the circulation of my own dark blood; I saw the coupling of love and the modification of death; I saw the Aleph from every point and angle, and in the Aleph I saw the earth and in the earth the Aleph and in the Aleph the earth; I saw my own face and my own bowels; I saw your face; and I felt dizzy and wept, for my eyes had seen that secret and conjectured object whose name is common to all men but which no man has looked upon- the unimaginable universe. I felt infinite wonder, infinite pity” (78).

Angela Flournoy's "A Place to Call My Own"

“Readers come to the book with all sorts of back-grounds, and they don’t need me to communicate how they should feel about a character. They don’t need me to suggest a character should be excused for his actions because of X, Y, and Z. They’ll make their own decisions” (182-183).

PIXEL BY PIXEL: 

Some of the microscopic pixels that made Gonzeles’s, Parameswaran, Orringer’s and Wilson’s characters stand out to me was probably their thought process. You can get a good handle on what the character’s personality is based on how they react to a situation, such as the narrator wanting to view his wife under a microscope and the tiger being unaware of the carnage he’s unleashing until he kills the child and his zookeeper. Or Orringer’s main character being fixated on the tooth among all the other pressing problems which highlights that she is just a child. These little details are important because they are aspects of their flaws and also give us a wider picture of their personality traits.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND:

I think Parameswaran narrating with a tiger is so useful because of the tiger’s own motivations versus the failed result of those motivations.

“What had I done? I had to find help for him if it was the last thing I did. I turned and ran out of the people door- I had never been outside of the people door before, but I didn’t even think twice about running outside of it” (13).

Here, we see that the tiger wants to find someone to take care of Kitch, but in the eyes of people, they see a threat that is trying to escape the cage after brutally murdering someone. You feel bad because the tiger has no ill intent and yet it will get misconstrued by everyone else around him due to the species (??) barrier. We can see the tiger’s impulsive decision when trying to help humans always blows up in his face but it doesn’t make us hate him. Maybe we feel pity and uneasiness but the fact that he is an animal makes us regard him with a more merciful moral lense.

EVERYTHING I MEANT TO SAY: 

Most of the stories we’ve read and discussed did not make me feel good in any way. Maybe it’s the premise or the characters or the ending, but I feel like we start out at a low point already, and then it gets worse, and at best we are back at the same point at which we started. There’s not really a comfort to be found while reading these stories, but if I had to choose one text in this class that made me feel more comfortable with reading than the others, it has to be “grand stand-in”. I can’t tell if it’s the science fiction set-up, the dialogue, the first person point of view or the character herself, but it just felt like a writing style I was more familiar with than any of the other texts I had read so far. The exchange the main character has with the arranger just read very satisfyingly to me:

“You hate them, don’t you?” he says.

“Yes.”

“You’re going to make them love you, aren’t you?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say. “Yes I am.” (10)

It’s effective and it works well in establishing her. She doesn’t even say much, but the simplicity in their exchange is so effectively telling of what the main character is like. Just from that we can tell the narrator does a morally ambiguous job, but she has her own set of morals that she strongly commits to that is strongly contradictive to what her customers expect of her. And even so, the narrator takes a lot of pride in her work. Despite her own personal feelings, performing exceptionally is at the forefront of her mind. I didn’t really connect with that feeling of spite, but it’s something I feel like I’ve seen before, but done in a way that shows exactly the type of person the main character is and handles her job.

A PLACE TO CALL MY OWN: 

I think you need to treat your characters like people. I found that it’s a lot easier to get a feel of your characters through character sheets where you have to write about how they respond to given situations, or even their favorite foods. It might not seem as though it’ll be effective to your plot, but to me any inch of familiarity can get me a better understanding of who my characters are. The way they react to situations is more telling of their personality rather than describing them to the audience. However, at the same time, I find the more I explore aspects about my character, I end up being able to rationalize everything about them and that just makes them more uncertain to me. I feel like that kind of over analyzation can be applicable to real life. You don’t need to know everything about another person, and if you feel the need to you’ll just end up growing obssessed with the idea of them and not the person themselves. There’s a balance you need to strike so you don’t end up retconning them the further along you get with your story.

CONNECT THE DOTS—HORROCKS: 

Caitlin Horrock’s “It Looks Like This” contains usage of a lot of the advice that Perry gave us. Percy states in “Get a Job” that:

“It is a job that frames and sets into motion every element of your story or essay or poem- and it is your job to do the required research that will bring the language and tasks and schedule and perspective of your characters’ work to life. Google can do only so much for you. The library can only do so much for you. You need to write from the trenches” (145). 

Horrock does this especially well in her own writing:

“...this quilt, with the crooked angles and the lazy handstitching, was machine-pieced out of salvaged, distressed, printed cottons, on a 1886 Singer treadle, filled with flat, all-cotton batting, and quilted with a size 7/9 needle using unwaxed thread. The pattern (Log Cabin: Barn Raising) was popular in northern Ohio from 1865-1895, and if I told you that’s when this quilt was made, you’d have to know a fair bit about quilts to be able to prove me wrong” (22).

I have no idea what’s going on here. I don’t even know what a treadle is. My knowledge of sewing extends as far as a home economics class I took in elementary school, but from what I read from this text, even when the narrator points out her work’s shortcomings, I can tell that she definitely knows what she’s talking about. I really like that she sounds so self-assured here because although she didn’t finish school, you can tell she’s very knowledgeable about quilting. These specifics are exactly what Percy expects to make the character’s occupancy believable. The audience doesn’t really have to know what the meaning behind the phrases the narrator was using, and Horrock is well aware of it in the last sentence of the quote. You’d have to be an experienced seamstress or have a wealth of knowledge about quilting to be able to overturn the information she’s feeding us, because any average person would not be able to discern whether or not it’s real or not. The general, ignorant public would usually just accept it as fact.

CONNECT THE DOTS—WANG: Write a response that connects the dots between any of the craft essays we have read and Weike Wang’s story “Omakase.”

Amy Tan states, “I’ve found that the way to capture the truth of a character- and beyond that, to reflect the truth of how I feel- is to write microscopically. To focus on all the tiny details that, to-gether, make sense of a character. Each person’s perspective is absolutely unique; my job is to unearth all the specific events and associations that form an individual consciousness. It’s not enough to show how someone behaves in a single moment- I want to provide the whole history and context that informs each action” (33).

I think Tan’s viewpoint really shines through “Omakase” because the way in which the woman responds to the chef when he brings up that his manager was Chinese may seem defensive, but to her it appeared as a jab at her ethnicity. She seems very passive, but throughout the story we see her pick apart and analyze every action and every interaction between the people around her. Through her long, winding monologues we can see her own inner conflict about her suspicions her boyfriend had yellow fever, questioning why her friends thought that she got lucky for finding someone white, all her ambivalence. It’s established that she’s an overthinker, so in the moment it makes perfect sense for her to speak up to the chef. 

[bluetinge]

It’s been a year... more thoughts on the ending of Homestuck

  Okay, so, I just rewatched Act 7 for the first time in forever, had a couple revelations, and I felt the need to post my thoughts. 

   The last time I did this, I feel like I didn’t fully articulate myself? Like, I have had a whooole bunch more thoughts since then and they need to be free... most importantly, I spent most of this year getting down every time I thought of Homestuck because I immediately thought of the ending... I was kidding myself when I said it wasn’t disappointing. It was! Homestuck has been at a consistently sky-high level of quality since its inception (Imo, might be a side affect of reading 3/4 of the thing through archives) and the ending was just... good. not great. not what I expected. And I mean, I can understand that! Hussie obviously didn’t intend to sink this much of his life into this comic (remember it was originally planned for one year, somehow) and not to mention he has obviously had some serious crazy stuff happening with hiveswap... I should be able to forgive him for maybe not sticking the landing.

   And yet, I feel like there’s a little more to this whole thing than that. Out of every webcomic and piece of media I’ve ever consumed, Homestuck is still the most unique, and the void it left behind in my left /still/ hasn’t been filled. I mean, Paranatural is funny, Erfworld has intricate plots, Dumbing of Age has high-quality updates every day- these and more are all outSTANDING webcomics! But you /really/ can’t beat Homestuck. Nothing I have ever seen can replicate Hussie’s cutting humor, nothing has pages upon pages of zany characters trading intensely well-crafted dialogue, and absolutely nothing has that same level of RESPECT for the reader that Homestuck has. Hussie just throws you into the comic headfirst- it starts off with a kid screwing around in his room with a data-structure-based inventory system of all things (did I mention homestuck is also ridiculously creative and so wonderful in the best ways) and then dives head-first into the increasingly convoluted plot, complete with a time-traveling narration and children who don’t waste time being surprised at things like, “Oh, this game can MODIFY the world around us? This is totally crazy and I need to have several pages worth of incredulity and explanation!” Homestuck provides you with enough to understand it- although I admit I somewhat relied on my brother’s explanations for the first few acts- and if you can’t keep up then Hussie will not slow down for you! (”You can talk to the hand!”)

   I’m sure not explaining things isn’t exactly a novel technique- and many people would consider it a flaw- but its so refreshing to read something where the author allows the plot to get this complicated and different and doesn’t try to bog it down with explanations! It almost feels like stretching out your mind, allowing yourself to seriously use your brain for once, and god it feels /so good/. And for the parts where you don’t understand- yes, there were plenty of these for me at least- the humor is unique and crazy enough to keep you going!

   Okay, I’m actually digressing horribly here. What I’m building up to is that I was expecting, as Caliborn would say, my “shitty twist.” I wanted it, and I /needed/ it. That revelation in Cascade that [spoilers] the Tumor was creating the Green Sun all along? Astounding. The end of act five (a1) when it was revealed S***b was creating a new universe all along? Blew my mind (although maybe it was obvious to non-archival readers). 

   Anyways, that was my major disappointment. I had been following BKEW for about two years now, and while I didn’t buy into the plausibility of many or most of his theories (c’mon, all that “evidence” for classpects was pretty arbitrary) I did learn to appreciate the vastness and interconnectedness of Homestuck, and Andrew Hussie’s genius. Most importantly of all, I caught his excitement for the update- I was really looking forward to whatever mind-blowing revelation Hussie cooked up for us.

   Of course, as we came closer and closer to the end of the comic, more and more doubts filled my mind. Vriska described (dictated?) the battle plan and... in collide, everything went according exactly according to that plan. I was afforded a brief respite of hope with that creepy static-y ending, but as soon as the interlude panels went up I knew something was fishy. I dreader it in the back of my mind- I even joked about it (what if the twist is that there is no twist)- but, well, I had faith in Hussie. And then when Act 7 came out- I knew there was a pretty goood chance it would only be a few pages. Act 7 actually was pretty confusing, in a way, and at the very least it provided more to think about than Collide- I had to re-watch it a few times, before I finally formed an opinion on what was going on- but I was left closing out of that video with an uncomfortable feeling.

   So the shitty twist, well, it didn’t really exist as such. There were a couple important plot revelations- LE was immortal and infused with rainbow-majjyks because he cheated, stopping and breaking his own god-tier resurrection clock so he couldn't be killed, inhaling the rainbow-dust to get that colorful, epileptic aesthetic- and it also explained why the cue balls were his weakness- since the all-knowing cue balls act as the judgment pendulums, attacking him with a cue ball weapon that kills him could conceivably stop the resurrections as well. So, I felt, well, partially satisfied- more weird plot shit had been explained, and the house bits were hella ambiguous but still more mysteries to crown over. Still, I was left feeling a little shaken up, but I was able to convince myself I liked the ending.

   That... didn’t last. There were just too many problems I had. I went online, searching for people with the same deep-seated dissatisfaction as me, and I found plenty of upd8 h8. Some of it- a lot of it- I agreed with, some of it I did not, but it helped me understand. When Hussie announced the epilogue, this was a turning point for a lot of people, giving them hope- but for me it just made me mad... like, I wanted an ENDING, yo! I had been riding the homestuck train for over four years, and I was actually looking forward to an exciting conclusion! I mean, this might sound strange to some, but for me an epilogue just confirmed for me that homestuck was ending in a very mundane way, and maybe it would tie up lose ends but I think it more likely it might just tie up one major end (cough cough masterpiece) and leave the rest out...

   Okay good godde a lot of those words were unnecessary... let me just sum up my findings from the past year or so of exploration: I didn’t like the ending because it was missing what made Homestuck great. From the very beginning and almost to the very end, Homestuck has had three major things going for it:

- The humor. Again, Hussie’s humor is just incredible. Collide had plenty of it, but the ending as a whole, including all the panels before and after collide? Not much narration, quite a bit of dialogue that didn’t really have too much of a place for it (more on that in a sec), and lots of serious, single-image and guest art panels. In other words, there simply wasn’t very much room for it! That wry, poking-fun-at-the-reader tone of Hussie’s was gone, and the comic didn’t quite feel like Homestuck because of it.

- The plot. I’ve already said a bunch about this above so I will try to keep this to a minimum, but I feel like the story just, well, stopped expecting very much of us. It told us what would happen... and then it happened. A reset and developed-offscreen version of Vriska fixed everything (as did an alternate timeline Calliope with no clear origin.) And that’s not even mentioning the myriad of other plot holes that Hussie left open! (Where did the special frog of Jade’s come from? Why did the Condesce have a second Gl’bgolybs? Did Dave ever drink his own piss in a bottle of apple juice?) Many of these aren’t particularly important questions, and can be excused on their own- and there are of course plenty of foreshadowed events that never come to fruition- but it would be nice for there to be some resolution on some of these!

- And lastly, the characterization. There, was, like, none of this in the “Ending” as we think of it, which I think is fair... or would be if it wasn't for what I consider the most physically painful part of Homestuck: the Game Over timeline reset. It... oh my god, the pain I feel thinking back on it. I respect that Hussie tries to break story traditions, but oh god why! These characters, that we’ve been following for years- that we’ve watched grow- that we LOVED- all suddenly had their backstories reset, and replaced with new ones we barely saw. I just... I have physical trouble thinking about it. John may be the same John, but to be frank he’s always been (to me) one of the less interesting characters in Homestuck. Roxy, Jasprose, and the Davesprite half of Davepeta all came from the “original” timeline, and probably Aradia remained unchanged. Everyone else? All got reset and had their own character development, the most we saw of was a slideshow! There’s so much we don’t know about what remained the same and what was different... so much of it happened offscreen. Even minor things, like Karkat and Meenah’s friendship, got retconned out of existence- and it extended into the alpha kids as well with their sprites. We spent so much time reading this material, enjoying it, theorizing about what would happen next, and that was apparently all for naught. Maybe the ending would have been more palatable had we actually, you know, known the kids who got the happy endings frolicking on the revived Earth! Had they solved their problems, had they earned it! Maybe if we had more time to really get to know them... but we didn’t, at least not for me. Parts of them seemed familiar, but parts of them were not, and the kids who won the game didn’t feel like the same ones that started it- because they weren’t.

And through this all, what I ask is: why??? and how??? Collide and Act 7 were dissapointing, sure, but it wasn’t a fundamental problem with them- they simply came too soon. The story wasn’t finished- in fact, it had recently gone backwards and gutted itself. Hussie HAD to have known this. Right? He’s an extremely smart man, and I can’t possibly see him not foreseeing this issues or at least noticing them. Maybe these really WEREN’T issues to him- after all, the characters are his own. He knows exactly what he wants to know about the new characters and, except for a few Striders, couldn’t share it with the rest of us. Either that, or the errors were too late to fix. 

And THAT’S why the ending feels hollow to me. That’s why I can’t sleep some nights, staying up reading Homestuck and Homestuck-ending-hate, trying to reclaim some of what I lost. The ending we got was hollow because everything post- Vriska return was empty, and even though I had faith at the time that this magic man would work it all out somehow, he didn’t. 

Actually, it’s occurring to me now that this “Ultimate Self” business may have been an attempt to cover for it. Of course, it doesn’t fix it- you can tell me that it’s okay because Terezi can remember her past selves, or that pre-GO Jade and post-GO Jade are the same Jade all you want, and I won’t believe it- I CAN’T believe it, because they aren’t. The Jade I knew is dead in the ground. 

Anyways, I had been unable to watch the Act 7 flash for some time now. Collide I can actually enjoy, but for some reason Act 7 was untouchable- until, well, I listened to some of the music and got the urge to watch it again for the first time in so many months. Like, just a few hours ago.

And here’s the thing: I thought it was amazing. I forgot how good it was. And I think the last piece of the puzzle has fallen into place, at least for me and for now.

Hussie isn’t clueless- he wanted this flash for a reason. And as much as the fans might complain, he chose to focus on that flashing tadpole for a good third of the video (not as long as people have been claiming!). And I realized something:

Homestuck really deserved this ending. This was, maybe, the best ending I could ever hope for.

Homestuck has been gradually building in art quality and scale, and as much as people (like myself) might complain that the anime-ish finale was totally unnecessary, upon reexamination a year later I think Homestuck nailed it. It couldn’t end in any way less than this.

Okay, I admit the music might be so good I got a little emotional and very persuaded. But really- it was so majestic. Seeing that frog? We knew it was coming- we have known since year two. But in order to truly go out with a bang, Homestuck needed this- it needed to reach up and touch the very highest potential it could reach. 

And ultimately? It was an amazing and incredibly fulfilling ending to Homestuck. Besides the frog (my only complaint is the lack of an audible vast croak!) we got to see lord english approach a mystery demise- yes, frustrating for some that we don’t even see what happens to him, but I think Hussie is telling us something by not being explicit, and by focusing more on Caliborn than Caliborn’s adult (sort of) self.

Hussie is trying to tell us about the power of people.

Passionate people, he shows us, can cause huge events, be at the crux of huge turns of events, and they don’t even have to be particularly nice. Vriska apparently redeemed herself some off-screen- maybe she just naturally got more mature- and was able to single-handedly ensure the heroes’ success in Collide and her own fate as the one to put a stop to LE. John, a more passive person, went from the self-hating narrator’s punching bag in Act One to a leader of heroes- granted, with plenty of help along the way, but he was passionate about making friends all the same. And Caliborn- he may be a terrible person, but he worked through his tedious punishments and learned the rules of the world and got what he wanted- ultimate power, even if he was ensured an ultimate fate in the same moment. 

Compare, then, to Griska, who became so passive and vulnerable she was completely unrecognizable to her younger self, or Tavros, whose one self was carried through to the new world on the achievements of others, a sleeping instrument of Vriska’s, versus his other self that saw his dream of being a badass hero with self-confidence come true. 

Okay, I’m not really sure if this was Hussie’s intended meaning or not- the last three paragraphs of mine reek of speculation. The point I’m apparently writing a fricking essay trying to make, though, is this- when taken as a whole, I think there were some serious problems with the ending. But, if you just look at the achievements of the final two flashes? If you zoom out a bit, and see that maybe the “Masterpiece” was the shitty twist all along, and will seem just as much a part of the ending as Collide? That, yes, characters were changed, HUGELY- after all, Hussie always likes to change things up, never get too predictable- but maybe it was for a real reason, and people were so deliberately changed on purpose? I still think it was a mistake to go as far as he did, but I see another side now- I see how the Vriskas and the Tavroses and the Terezis and the Roses and the Daves are changed, on each side of the line, some for worse but some for better. And maybe three and a half minutes of frog animation really was necessary for completing Hussie’s vision? For completing his Homestuck?

I may still have problems with the ending, but I think I learned today I need to take it all in perspective. I actually, think, somehow, I’m at peace with Homestuck now, and that I think I might be able to see Act 7 not as a random disappointment but as a greater part to a whole.