#no we’re not talking about Glasgow

[dungeons-and-dictions]

It’s Analysis Friday! Who’s seen Wonka? I love that it keeps to the original film’s spirit. There’s so many delicious connections to the book and both movie adaptations. Let’s gooooo

Overall, this musical prequel has really hit home by creating many parallels to Charlie. Some striking ones:

Wonka shares his chocolate (his mom’s homemade one) with his found family; Charlie shares with his family.

The Chocolate Cartel is a mirroring of the four bratty children Charlie has to compete against.

Wonka and Charlie were both in poor families and received chocolate once a year

Both are big dreamers

I also love that many small touches add to the depth seen in earlier movies:

The 5 people who help him get his business started inspired him to have 5 golden tickets when searching for an heir.

The golden ticket itself was inspired by a message Wonka’s mom wrote on some gold leaf inside her chocolate’s wrapper

Wonka lived in a house boat as a kid, which explains the chocolate river and the boat.

He got the crazy long fine print on a contract from Mrs. Scrubbit

And finally, the most heart-warming: “the man who suddenly got everything he wanted lived happily ever after”. Wonka makes this happen for Noodle, and does it again for Charlie.

[pitchsidestories]

Girlfriend Material II Jen Beattie x Reader

masterlist I word count: 3223

summary: in which Jen Beattie falls in love with a sports journalist who is also a single mother.

A/N: based off this request here. We hope you enjoy this one and we agree with you that Jen Beattie is really underrated. As always this is just fiction.

audio transcript of the interview with Jen Beattie for the bookproject

Jen: sips on her coffee So, how did you..?

Reader: laughs amused do I have to remind you Jen Beattie that I'm the person here asking the questions and it's about the Scottish Women’s national team?

Jen: I thought we weren’t starting yet!

Reader: You said you got your coffee in front of you and that we can start recording that conversation.

Jen: I didn’t know you meant immediately.

Reader: So now you know.

Jen: okay, sorry. I’ll let you talk now.

Reader: Thank you can see jen lifting her finger Yes?

Jen: No, sorry. I forgot I’m not allowed to ask questions.

Reader: Maybe you can ask a few so it feels more like a natural conversation? Maybe that works better for you too.

Jen: Okay, fine with me. How did you get the idea to write this?

Reader: Easy your team’s story is very intriguing and inspiring. I really wanted to cover more than a story, and, in a book, you get the chance to tell multiple of stories.

Jen: I like that. But I always think, we’re just Scotland, you know? There are more interesting teams to write about.

Reader: Yes, I get that but it might sound like a stupid reason, but I grew up in Edinburgh, so Scotland is very dear to my heart, also everyone loves the underdog.

Jen: I like that.

Reader: So, what I’m trying to say with this is you can trust me.

Jen: I do. Why would I not trust you with this topic?

Reader: Good point

Jen: See.

Reader: going back to our topic, when and how did you feel when you were getting your first call up for Scotland?

Jen: chuckles Oh that was a long time ago but as a football player you always dream of that call so as you can imagine I was very excited.

Reader: Do you remember that exact moment?

Jen: Yes, I do. I still played for Glasgow, and I almost missed the call because I started at the phone for too long.

Reader: You did?

Jen: Yes, I’m not sure what would have happened if I missed it.

Reader: I guess they would have tried it again.

Jen: Who knows, right?

Reader: I think it was meant to be.

Jen: It probably was. I’m glad I took the call though. It changed a lot for me.

Reader: This must have been a big step forward in your career.

Jen: It is. I don’t know if Arsenal would have wanted me if it hadn’t been for that call.

Reader: but Arsenal did want you. Lily entering the room Oh sorry this is my daughter Lily.

Jen: She’s adorable. Hi Lily.

Lily: Hello, are you mum’s new friend?

Reader: Actually, I’m interviewing Jen for my book.

Jen: But it’s almost something like that.

Reader: True. Can you give me five more minutes, Lil? And when we’ll go to the park to play football like I promised you earlier.

Lily: Okay.

Reader: Thanks love. Sorry, so where were we Jen?

Jen: Uhm.. oh, Arsenal.

Reader: Yes, right, you got the chance to play there.

Jen: I did. Together with my Scotland teammate.

Reader: So, you must have been very young when you made your move to London?

Jen: I was 18.

Reader: Right.

Jen: Kim was 18 too when she moved to London the year before, so I was glad to have her there too.

Reader: That’s really sweet.

Jen: We both were the youngest and now we’re the grandmas.

Reader: protests You’re not grandmas !

Jen: No but we like to joke about it.

Reader: I can see that.

Jen: With all the youngsters here.

Lily: wears a Scotland jersey Mum, I’m ready !

Reader: Shit, the five minutes are over.

Jen: You probably shouldn’t let her wait.

Reader: Sorry, that’s so unprofessional.

Jen: No worries. I understand that.

Reader: Thank you.

Jen: Have fun.

Lily: Do you want to play with us?

Jen: I would love to, but I have training. Another time, I promise.

Lily: Oh okay.

Jen: Lily?

Lily: Yes?

Jen: I mean it.

Lily: I trust you.

Jen: I’ll see you soon.

Reader: Goodbye, Jen. Thank you for taking your time.

Jen: Thank you for inviting me. And don’t forget to call me, so Lily and I can play some football.

Reader: I’ll call you. Promise.

Lily: whispers Mum, she likes you.

Reader: I think she likes you more.

Lily: But she likes you too!

Reader: Do you think so?

Lily: Yes!

Reader: When it must be true.

Lily: Its true.

The London Derby was about to start. The crowd at the Emirates was roaring with excitement. Amazed, you took in the atmosphere from the side of the pitch alongside some of the other jounalists.

Across the grass, you caught Jen’s gaze who was standing next to the tunnel in a big puffer jacket. She subtly waved at you which you answered with a small smile.

Kim Little appeared next to Jen, telling her something with a stern face. You knew the game was about to start so you turned back to your work.

“Has anyone seen Lily? Jen, you were supposed to look after the daughter of your girlfriend. “, Kim scolded Jen on the other side of the pitch. Reluctantly, Jen turned away from you and towards her teammate; “You said you would babysit.“ “After the match! I’m in the starting line up, remember?“, Kim replied, more amused than annoyed.

Laughing, Jen rolled her eyes; “Ugh, show-off.“ Her smaller team mate gave her playfully offended look; “Hey, you’re still talking to your captain here.“ “Yeh, sure. I’ll go find Lily.“, Jen answered with a grin and brushed past Kim into the dressing rooms. “Good!“, the Arsenal captain called after her.

Jen opened the door of the dressing room where the Arsenal players were just getting ready for the important game against Chelsea; “Lil?“ “Here!“, the voice of a child piped up. The little girl waved with one hand from her place between Alessia Russo and Kyra Cooney-Cross. In the other hand, she held a crumbly granola bar. Jen walked towards her, a big grin on her face; “What are you doing here? Having a snack?“

“Yes, Lessie gave me something. And Wally promised to do my hair.“, Lily nodded with pure joy. Jen ruffled her hair; “Lucky girl.“ “Comes from the one who only ever wears a bun on match days.“, Lia laughed while she pushed past Jen and took Kyras place.

Carefully, she started brushing Lilys hair. “It’s the least complicated and most effective hairstyle.“, the Scot defended herself with a shrug. Kim rolled her eyes; “And it makes you even taller than you are.“

With raised eyebrows, Jen made a point to look down at her captain; “How can you even tell that from down there?“ “Rude.“, she replied before turning towards the toddler whose hair was now in a high ponytail, “Lil?“ “Yes?“ “Tell her to stop making fun of small girls.“

Lily nodded determinedly, causing Lia to start over with braiding her little ponytail; “I’ll.“ “We’re done.“, Lia smiled a minute later, satisfied with her finished work. Lily happily jumped up on the bench, standing on her toes to eye her new hairstyle in a mirror. Laughing, Jen picked her up; “Good. Because these girls have to go out and play and important game now.“

“Good luck!”, Lily hummed. Gratefully Lia patted the shoulder of the little girl:” Thank you, Lily.” “Can you give me a hug as an extra motivation?”, Alessia asked her with a big smirk on her face. Enthusiastically Lily nodded, opening her arms up to hug the tall forward:  “Of course.” That sight alone melted Jen’s heart in the blink of an eye.

In her bossy tone which was such a contrast to her relatively smallness Kim clapped motivated into her hands:” Alright girls, time to get out there.” While the playing footballers went on to the field Jen and the toddler took their seats on the bench.

Big eyed Lily pulled on the defender’s jacket: ”Jen?” “Yes?”, attentively the Scottish player put her little hand into hers. Deeply amazed Lily whispered: “This is huge.”  “I know, right?”, Jen solemnly agreed. Not long into the game Beth Mead scored the first goal which made Lily jump from her seat shouting happily:” Yes, Meado!”

“Good job, Beth! She’ll be so happy about that girl.”, the defender commented with a satisfied smile. A bit less enthusiastic the girl added:” Mum told me she had a bad injury.”  “Yes, she didn’t play football for almost one year.”, the Scottish Woman replied seriously.

Quite taken by that she mumbled: “ That’s forever.” “And her girlfriend Viv had the same injury.”, Jen explained the past situation to her.  Moved by those words Lily observed: “That’s not fair.” “No but it happens in football.”, the defender reminded her.

The mood was lightened when the little girl was catching where the older woman’s eyes were wandering:” Jen, you keep staring at mum!” Caught of guard the Arsenal player’s cheek turned red:” I’m not I was just looking if she’s looking.” “Sure.”, Lily giggled.

After the match she ran to Alessia, telling her visibly very animated:” Lessi, your goals were soo cool!” “Thank you, Lily! You were our lucky charm today.”, the forward declared beaming.

After the live recording ended you greeted Jen with a huge grin, while she was wrapping her strong arms around you::” Hi love, did Lil behave?” “You know her of course she did. She’s too focused on the game in front of her.”, the Scottish woman answered cheerfully.

Glad about that news you changed the topic easily: “Good. Remind me, where are you taking me out tonight, again?” “You’ll see when we’re there.”, Jen smiled mysteriously. Excited about what the evening would contain you said: “I’ll be right back I’ll be just saying goodbye to Lily and tell her that it might get a bit later tonight, so she doesn’t need to try to stay awake until we’re back.” “Alright.”, with that word the Arsenal player let go of you for now.

A few minutes prior Kim wanted to know from the toddler:” Have you decided whose jersey you want, Lily?” “Can I have yours?”, she asked innocently. The captain was surprised by that wish:” Mine?” “Yes, please.”, Lily nodded quickly.

Flustered the older woman gave the little girl her jersey:” Oh, sure. Here you go.” “Thank you.”, the toddler gratefully pressed the shirt onto her.  Trying not to show how touched she was Kim waved it off:” You’re welcome.”

Lily was already wearing the oversized jersey when you entered the dressing room. Your daughter happily ran into your arms. You wrapped her into a tight hug while you told her; “Hi Lily, I just wanted to say goodbye for now and that Jen and I’ll be back tonight. But I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun with Kimmy.“

You shared a quick smile with Arsenals team captain. “Okay, have fun, Mum.“, Lily replied, obviously already distracted by what was happening around her in the dressing room. You pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before saying goodbye; “Love you, Lily.“ You could feel your daughters eyes on you while you caught up Jen outside.

Kim realized that Lily was confused by the situation so she kneeled down in front of the toddler; “Tell me, Lily, what do you want to eat now?“ “Can we eat pizza?“, the little girl asked with big eyes.

While Kim nodded, Leah Williamson joined the conversation; “Can we join the pizza party?“ “Please?“, Laura Wienroither added, her facial expression almost identical to Lilys. Kim nodded with a sigh before turning back the toddler; “Sure. How about we make our own pizzas, Lily?“ “Yes!“ “Alright, let’s go.“, the captain decided and got up to grab her bag. She took Lilys hand in hers while Leah and Laura followed them.

At Kims home, they immediately got to work, making small individual pizzas. “I’m jealous. Yours and Kims pizza looks so good.“, Leah complained, eyeing the ham and mozzarella pizza that Kim just took out of the oven. “It’s because Lily and I are a good team.“, she replied, holding up her hand for Lily to high-five. “True.“, the little girl agreed.

Laura laughed; “Not bad, Little team.“ “Thanks.“, Kim said, only partly annoyed by the pun. Excitedly, Leah took her pizza out of the oven next; “Time to eat our pizzas.“ But there was a loud bang that told everyone in the room that Leahs pizza did not even make it to the table. “Oh no.“ “Leah!“, Lily yelled, amused by the mess the tomato sauce and hot cheese made on the tile floor. “Yeah, I know, very funny.“, the defender sighed.

Kim immediately turned back to the kitchen table; “It’s okay, we can make a new one.“ “Lee, you can have a bit of mine.“, Lily offered, gently pushing a piece of pizza towards the defender. Gratefully, Leah picked it up and took a bite; “Thank you, Lily, you’re very sweet.“ “You don’t need to tell her that, she knows.“, Kim grinned while making more pizza. “Still. She shared her pizza with me!“

Finally, the captain admitted; “Yes, okay, it’s cute.“ “See, that’s adorable.“, Leah said. Laura disrupted their conversation, pointing towards the toddler; “Oh my god, girls. She fell asleep with her head next to her plate.“

A soft smile appeared on Kims lips as she watched the child sleep, a piece of pizza still in her tiny hand; “I think it was a long day for her. Winning against Chelsea is exhausting.“ “Very true.“, Leah agreed with a laugh. Carefully, Kim picked the girl up; “I’ll bring her to bed.“ “Good night, Lil.“, Laura whispered. Lily blinked tiredly and yawned against Kims shoulder; “Nighty.“

Meanwhile, you looked at your surroundings being in awe of the restaurant your girlfriend chose:” Jen, this is so fancy here.” “I told you; I’d take you somewhere nice.”, the Arsenal player replied with a warm smile.  Proudly she kept holding your hand until you reached your table and took a seat each. “Yes, you weren’t lying about you.”, you had to admit delighted.

In an honest tone she stated: “As much as I love Lily, you also deserve to be treated to something nice.” “She loves you too, in her kindergarten she refers to you as her mum.”, you confessed, cheeks flushing. Surprised but flattered Jen asked:” She does?” “Yes.”, you nodded cautiously, unsure if this information was too much for your girlfriend.  

The defender let out a shaky breath: “Wow.” “Sorry, if that was too much.”, you stammered an apology. Immediately she reassured you:” No, I like that.” “Anything you would recommend from the menu?”, you tried to lighten up the mood, but the football player was taking your hand meaning you to pause for a second.

Softly the Scottish woman said:” Love..”  “Yes?”, you looked up to her, your free hand was nervously putting a loose string of your hair behind your ear. A deep sigh escaped Jen’s lips, before she confessed: “I want to be honest with you. I never wanted to be a mum; it just wasn’t one of my life goals like it is for other women. But I’d love nothing more than being Lily’s mum.”  

“You’re already a great one.”, you confirmed visibly moved by her words. Equally touched Jen answered: “Thanks. That means a lot.” Because words couldn’t encompass how much her confession meant to you, you kissed her, hoping the kiss could encompass everything you felt in that moment. “I love you.”, the Arsenal player whispered. “I love you too.”  Her voice was filled with gratitude:” I’m so glad you were writing that book.” “It’s coming out soon.”, you announced happily.

Hopefully Jen wanted to know: “Can I read it first?” “Of course, I’ll leave you a copy on your nightstand.”, you promised her excited. A bright grin was on your girlfriend’s face: “Thank you. I can’t wait to read it.”  “I hope you and the team will like it.”, you bit your lip.  “I’m sure we will.” From that on you two had a very pleasant date night.

After the dinner you gratefully greeted Kim in her home:” Hi Kim, thanks for watching after Lily.”  “You’re welcome. She was really tired and already fell asleep at dinner.”, the Arsenal Captain told you. Understandingly you nodded:” To be fair it was a long, exciting day for her.” “That’s true. I hope you had a good date night.”, Kim smiled at you both. Beaming Jen replied:“ We did.” “That’s good.”, the midfielder seemed pleased by the happy faces in front of her.

“Mums?“, Lilys voice interrupted your small talk. The little girl stumbled into your direction, her eyes were barely open. “Yes?“, Jen answered. “You’re back.“, your daughter yawned. You crouched down, your arms outstretched and Lily let herself against your chest. “We are.“, you confirmed as you carefully picked her up. Jen reached over, ruffling the little girls hair; “Yes, and we’re going home now.“ “Okay.“, Lily mumbled, almost asleep again. Jen chuckled quietly; “She is so cute.“

You said your goodbyes to Kim and made your way back home. You placed the sleeping Lily in her bed, carefully tucking her in and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead; “Good night, Lil.“ “I think she had fun today.“, Jen commented from where she leaned on the door frame. You grinned; “Yes, they had pizzas together.“

“Oh, Kim just texted.“, Jen said in surprise. You watched her read something on her phone; “What did she write?“ “That she hopes we got Lily home without waking her up.“, your girlfriend summarized the message quickly. You shrugged; “Kind of. She’s asleep now.“

With a smile on your lips, you took Jens phone out of her hand to snap a photo of your daughter, fast asleep with her favourite plushie in her arm. Grinning, Jen followed up her message to Kim with the photo while you both left Lilys room. “She and the girls seem to like being aunties.“, Jen thought out loud. You nodded happily; “They do. Even though Kim always pretends to be annoyed when you ask her to babysit.“ “Yes, but she secretly loves it.“, Jen replied with a laugh. “Oh yes.“, you agreed while you both slipped into your bed.

Only as your head hit your pillow, you realized how tired you were. Yawning, Jen slipped an arm around your waist and gently kissed your neck once. Just before you two were about to fall asleep, Jens phone screen lit up again.

As she held up the phone and blinked against the brightness of the screen, you caught a glimpse of the message. It was from Kim, reading; “Haven’t seen you that happy in a long time. You deserve this, Jen.“ You could feel a smile spread on your face, similar to the one on your girlfriends and you couldn’t deny that you felt a little bit honoured by that message.

Jen put her phone back on the nightstand and pulled you closer to her. You both didn’t need any words to express how right it felt to be there in each others arms.

[jokeroutsubs]

Joker Out between dreams and reality (Val 202: Music 202) - Part 1: Bojan and Jan

Today, 3.08.2023, Slovenian national radio station Val 202 broadcasted a recent interview with Joker Out members Bojan Cvjetićanin and Jan Peteh. Below is the translation of the interview, which you can listen in the audio file above, or on this direct link.

~

Interviewer: Joker Out, the five-man band that sent Slovenia into a frenzy and is well on their way to sending Europe into a frenzy too. After their Eurovision performance in Liverpool, a lot of doors opened to Bojan, Kris, Jan, Nace and Jure. And Joker Out are stepping through all of them with decisive steps. Massive crowds at their concerts at home and abroad, concerts until the end of the year in Serbia, Croatia, Poland, Scandinavia that sold out in minutes, and crowds of dedicated fans around the world who seem to know all the lyrics by heart, even though Slovenian is far from familiar to them. I talked about all that with Bojan Cvjetićanin and Jan Peteh, two of the founding members of Joker Out. To start with, I asked them whether they’re living their dreams.

Jan: Fortunately, we're living more than our dreams, we’re living our lives. Bur what’s happening right now was still a dream not so long ago, yeah.

Bojan: I passed the Museum of Modern Art yesterday and saw that they currently have an exhibition called “Don’t dream your dreams”, so… it’s better to live them.

How are you absorbing everything that’s happening right now? A Slovenian band that’s, let’s say, more “midstream”, has never managed to do what you’re doing right now. Are you watching that with excitement, wonder, maybe even fear?

Bojan: Yeah, it all definitely caught us a little unawares. It’s true that everything that’s happening now was absolutely our aspiration when we decided that we wanted to go to Eurovision this year. And what we secretly and not-so-secretly wanted really came true. But I’d say that you cannot be prepared for all that to really happen. It’s truly crazy to follow these moments when we announce a concert abroad in some city, often in cities we’ve never even been to, and before we can even all post “juhuhu”, it’s sometimes already sold out, so… I mean, damn.

Jan: Never in my life could I have imagined that I’d see a full venue in Glasgow or London sing our songs in Slovenian, so moments like that are definitely the highlight of every week and month. But then there’s a big contrast when you come from that somewhat surrealistic experience into the quiet of your own home, and you’re at home for a few hours. Because you don’t know if this is real life or just a dream, or if you’re shifting between them. So it’s unusual, but… I’m enjoying it immensely.

Jan has pointed out that even abroad, fans sing Joker Out songs in Slovenian. After one of their recent concerts in the UK, I saw a comment on social media that went something like this: “I didn’t understand a word, but that was the best concert in my life.”

Jan: That’s what Bojan says at the start of every concert, “prepare to not understand a word for the next hour and a half.” But people are screaming, enjoying themselves. And some even pretend to understand the songs, even though they probably don’t.

Bojan: Well, that’s the main point of music, right? Music is special exactly because you don’t have to understand it, you just have to feel it. But it is weird for us because we’re not used to this happening with Slovenian language. Especially because… really from the moment we started making music, everyone was telling us that first of all, with Slovenian you can’t even make it in Slovenia, second of all, absolutely no way you could make it in the Balkans, and we’re not even going to talk about breaking into other foreign countries.

Bojan says that even with the upcoming songs, and hence with the new third album, they will not forget their mother tongue. Especially because they recognise you can achieve a lot even if you don't sing exclusively in English. Their ambition to tell an even bigger story, to expand to larger venues and to have a new, larger fan base is turning things around.

Bojan: As you mentioned in the beginning, we are a mainstream band. In mainstream music it is always a good idea to include the masses and make your music easily accessible to them. We have witnessed an initial push of interest after Eurovision, with some fans genuinely drawn to us as musicians. They're really, really committed to learning the material, because they want to come to the gigs and enjoy themselves. They're taking it to the max and that's phenomenal. And it's also our aspiration to grow. After all, writing songs in different languages is, by definition, a kind of musical experiment.

Kris (in the background): And a challenge.

Bojan: Yes, absolutely a challenge. We're not setting off to write the third album as an English only album, of course. We've decided that we want to do a multilingual album, it will absolutely include Slovene, Serbian and English, and hopefully include some Spanish and French language as well. That is something we want to play with.

Not only Slovenian and English, the other languages represent a challenge as well, say Joker Out. Speaking of the third album, it's already, let's say, marinating, in the making. Joker Out is also a band that has not suffered the so-called curse of the second album. It was, dare I say it, was even better than the debut. Are you concerned about the possible third album curse?

Jan: Our Demons have obviously defeated the curse of the second album. As for the progress of the third album, we recently had our first really creative rehearsals since December, when we were working on Carpe Diem in Hamburg. From then on, we've accumulated so much creative potential, that it simply poured out of us during those few rehearsals. Now each time we get to our rehearsal space, our need to create becomes so intense that I think if we keep this up, we won't have to worry about the demons of the third album either.

As Jan points out, they are not lacking in creative inspiration. Bojan agrees, adding that in recent months they have often been 'emotionally shocked'. This means that emotions have boiled up and things that they were not used to before have been happening, which made it difficult to process certain situations. Last week, Joker Out parted ways with one of the members of their core team, who found himself under an avalanche of criticism, especially on social media, for inappropriate behaviour. The news of the termination of the collaboration was followed by many thanks from fans that the band members had not only heard the message, but had also taken action about it.

Bojan: Yes. We have really had a very, very complex situation that we have always hoped would never happen to us, but as we said in the statement, we hope and believe that it will never happen again. What has happened was that one of our team members has created an unpleasant atmosphere with our fans, with our listeners, in a repetitive, how shall I say... Pattern. He often chose the wrong words, and this in turn led to many feeling, I would say, unpleasant, uncomfortable. Both at our concerts and on social media. And that is something that is absolutely unacceptable for us. We have always tried to put 1000% positive energy out at our concerts and share it with people, and the people also gave that energy back to us, so any disruption of that process is, as I said, unacceptable to us. And we absolutely had to say goodbye to this member.

The singer of Joker Out says it was the right decision and the band stands by it, adding that they have learned a lot from this experience. If nothing else, they have realized the true power of social media. They have learnt that it can bring a lot of good things, but there are also a lot of bad things that you can't be prepared for.

Bojan: I have to say that, yes, I've withdrawn from social media now, because I want to make this album under positive influences, not negative influences, and really, on social media I feel like I'm trapped in a world that I don't really want to be trapped in. So, yeah, for example, let's say two days ago, I was really negatively shocked, or affected by a moment when... We had a concert in Ptuj, which was a really specific experience, because I was having a panic attack on stage for an hour and a half, and I was just thinking about whether or not I was going to faint or not. I don't know why, whether it was the air, whether it was too much coffee, or what happened, but it really wasn't a pleasant concert for me, so within 20 minutes after the show I was rushing home, right. But on Twitter there was this post, some girl who said that I... that some security guard or somebody on my behalf invited her backstage after the concert. Which, whoever was there, including the organiser, knows wasn't even remotely true, because as soon as I got out of the shower, hands shaking, I got into the van and went home, sitting next to Nace, bag in hand, so as not to throw up right there in the car. So, there are some things we are not prepared for. There are dimensions that are a whole new world for us.

In the second part of the interview with Joker Out on "Val 202" (name of the radio station, "Wave 202"), we're sticking to departures and leaving. Joker Out is a group where two band members were replaced in the past seven years. The drummer Matic was replaced with Jure and the bassist Martin with Nace. That's why I am interested in how replacements influence the group or rather the ahmosphere in the group. A music group has to breathe as one. Jan says that each member brings a different energy to the team. He's convinced that one half of the first album and the whole second album would have sounded totally different if the drummer Jure hadn't joined them.

Jan: At this point, I'm simply happy that it happened, and it goes for Nace as well. Because now, I can hardly imagine two better persons for this band or better friends.

Jure (in the background): Awww!

Bojan: The fact is, members leaving a band is definitely a very difficult thing. We've had five members in the band since its creation. And as Jan said, when the energy changes, the balance that was there gets disrupted. Now there are only two possible scenarios. One is that the new energy is less suitable for the collective and the whole balance is brought down. Or that it is more positive and elevates the whole thing. I believe the universe helped us somehow; in both cases the energies that joined us, pushed us into new realms of creativity, positivity, literally everything in a very short time. So, I know that everything happened here just the way it had to happen. Even if you ask Martin, who just left the band, because he wanted to pursue another path in his life. You can ask him now, I know, because I live with him, because we are roommates. He is the luckiest man because, in the same short time that we have started branching out in new directions, his personal spheres have taken off in the best possible way, and he is, as we say, kicking ass. We can say that by 2023, everything that went on has happened as it should have.

Everything happened like it was supposed to happen, says Bojan. Also in Liverpool on the Eurovision stage. Barely three months later, Joker Out are living the life they could have only dreamed about. Masses of fans, sold out concerts and a feeling that only the sky is the limit. Is the current success partly or solely due to Eurovision, that's our next topic.

Bojan: It's absolutely not just a consequence of what happened in Liverpool because that was just one big catalyst for everything that we've been doing as a band since the beginning. (It also has to do with) how we dealt with Liverpool. Because what is happening today, as I said, was planned. We didn't know to what extent it was going to be realized, but it was a plan. Liverpool has made a difference for us in a way that no other night in this world can make because it has literally brought us, in one night, bizarre numbers of new audiences that we could not have imagined before. So, in one sense, yes, that is what Eurovision did for us; we cannot deny it. But on the other hand, it was us who did it.

Jan: In harmony, Eurovision and Joker Out, hand in hand.

Bojan: Together forever Joker Out, hand in hand.

Jan: *singing* # Together forever #

Together forever. Behind the group Joker Out is 7 years of creating. For the very end, a question, where do they see themselves in 7 years.

Jan: Now I've had a couple of people ask me recently how do you handle it when there's so much going on. To me, it seems like a primary school experience, where every year, the new grade is a little bit harder, but you're also evolving from the previous years. So, if we were thrown from zero to where we are now, we wouldn't even know where to begin. We have quite a bit of experience behind us now. It's a very steep road, exponentially growing, mathematically speaking, and I'm glad that we are at a point where nobody is confining us to a certain determined path that we should follow, but it's all up to our own volition. Whatever we decide to do, we will do, and I think that we can be very happy about this kind of artistic freedom. So, I'm also very excited and eagerly awaiting to see where this will take us.

Bojan: Here, Jure is suggesting that in 7 years we'll be doing Wembley. There was an idea that we should book Wembley now for the year 2030 and we release the tickets today. It would be the first concert in the world, where the tickets would be sold 7 years in advance. Then we'll wait and see what happens. If something will happen, it'll happen; if not ... it will get canceled due to illness.

All: (laughter)

Translation cr: @kurooscoffee, @beeoftheanxieties, drumbeat, +2 anonymous jokeroutsubs members

[sunnybyler]

so quinta brunson specifically referenced this tweet from rob when talking about the crossover. so i wonder if we’re going to get an episode where the sunny gang does some sort of glasgow willy wonka experience-esque scam and abbott brings the kids there on a field trip or something. because that would be fucking HYSTERICAL if that’s what they do lmfao

[pepaldi]

This interview originally appeared in Radio Times magazine.

As Peter Capaldi talks about his new Apple TV+ drama Criminal Record – "a stylish crime drama with a contemporary edge and a noir-ish element", to quote his own description – he makes no effort to disguise his fondness for Elaine Collins, his fellow executive producer on the eight-part series, sitting beside him.

Friendly, funny and stylish in equal measure, she is just as affectionate towards him… which is rather lovely, as they have been married since 1991 and have a 30-year-old daughter.

In 2021, he sweetly pinpointed "September 12th 1985, under a street lamp in Glasgow with Elaine" as the greatest kiss of his life. It was their very first, soon after they met as actors in a touring theatre production.

They co-starred in the 1992 romantic comedy Soft Top Hard Shoulder, and teamed up again in Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life, the 1995 Oscar-winning short film he wrote and directed. As Capaldi clutched his Academy Award he told Hollywood’s assembled royalty: “Elaine Collins was the real creative dynamo behind all this."

Since then, she has become a powerhouse in British television, bringing Vera to ITV and Shetland to the BBC, long-running successes both.

Meanwhile, Capaldi’s own profile has risen ever higher, with his award-laden portrayal of The Thick of It’s fabulously foul-mouthed political enforcer Malcolm Tucker, and of course his three-year stint as the 12th incarnation of Doctor Who. In 2022, when BAFTA Scotland gave him its Outstanding Contribution gong, he concluded his acceptance speech with a direct address to Collins.

"My darling wife Elaine," he said, "it’s your strength, kindness, wisdom and love that’s enabled me to have this career. You’ve always been there through all the ups and downs, and that you chose to share your life with me is the greatest luck of all."

And now here they are, working as executive producers together for the first time and talking to RT. "It was great," beams Capaldi. "Elaine’s the boss, obviously. She’s the person who really drove this show, pulled it all together and had the vision for it, while having to do the day-to-day business mechanics of keeping it rolling. I was just a sounding board."

Collins tuts at once, exclaiming, "You’re too modest. He was fantastic. We genuinely had a great time and it was amazing to have that support system at work and at home. Of course you bring it home – you’re living and breathing a show while you’re making it – but that was genuinely great. He’s always a support system for me. Hand on heart, we’re best friends."

Sitting listening close by, one of Criminal Record’s supporting actors, Tom Moutchi, smiles at the two of them indulgently. "Awww," he teases, "soooo cute." Capaldi and Collins crease up, as Capaldi agrees that "cute" isn’t a word usually linked with him.

"A journalist asked me the other day, 'Why do you scowl all the time?'" he recounts. "I said to him 'I’m not!' and he said 'Your face is a scowl.'"

"He’s cute to me," declares Collins firmly, although it must be said the role he plays in Criminal Record scores low on the cute-o-meter.

The whole thing at Radio Times.

[phoenixyfriend]

I’m actually interested on your thoughts on stewjon-or any other sci-fi or fantasy land- being “space!scotland”.

I’m Scottish, and it actually kinda turns me off of a fic? Like, it gives me an uncanny valley feeling?

Part of it is due to it, most of the time at least, leaning heavily on the English stereotypes of Scotland? Like. We’re not people who think and feel and integrate people from other cultures, we’re not our better social support and services than england, we’re not people who can enjoy the land *and* be modern people, no.

We’re tartan wearing redheads speaking in a “terrible accent” that can’t be understood, whispering about fae stories and superstition, simultaneously getting in fights in Glasgow and carving Glasgow grins, and huddling in stone huts playing bagpipes and carding wool.

It’s uh, dehumanising a bit. And I didn’t realise I had that big of a rant, feel free to ignore this I was just curious from how you were talking about the Moses!obiwan thing.

Context

That tracks! It's a wider problem that incidentally managed to get picked up and spread in a really unfortunate way by fandom, presumably in large part by Americans who Don't Know What They're Doing when they just want to, idk, fantasize about Ewan McGregor speaking in his natural voice.

I think a weird but important note is that, regardless of the Space Scotland thing, I don't usually see Stewjon portrayed, like... positively? It's a shitty background element (infanticide backstory with the barest explanation), a fantasy misogyny place (a lot of the royalty AUs, especially the omegaverse ones, and especially smut), or a general underdeveloped, low-tech, backwater nightmare (also usually used for the smut). I've seen combinations of all three, and it's a toss of the coin if the author includes the Space Scotland element in addition to the above.

(I've seen one or two that seem to take way more inspo from a mix of Imperial China and 17th century France, for instance, or just keep it vaguely European.)

Even the ones that I think try to do the Space Scotland thing respectfully, I can't really comment on because, uh, I'm not Scottish by any stretch and don't know what degree of what element is reasonable.

(I think I can sort of relate in terms of Serbian representation in Western media? Such as it is. Generally we get to be gangsters, sad orphans, an evil priest selling babies to aliens, vampire-inspired cannibals, or Belgrade gets to be a setting where there is literally not a single Serbian character. Not the same thing but I wanted to give some examples to explain why I feel I can relate when people talk about this sort of thing.)

[adrienneleclerc]

We’re Just Friends

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: In this, we will see the friendship between Walter and Y/N and Walter’s first act of protectiveness; let’s face it, it wasn’t his first time punching a man because of Y/N

A/N: If y’all have seen Gilmore Girls, Walter and Y/N will be like Luke and Lorelai in the way that they hang out outside of work. If y’all haven’t, Luke/Walter is known for being grumpy in his place of work and in general. BUT he lets Lorelai/YN who is basically a ray of sunshine on caffeine get away with EVERYTHING. Lorelai/YN call Luke/Walter if they need to rant or need something fixed, they have a good friendship, very “you came, you called”

Ever since Walter gave Y/N apology cookies, they were closer, they got to know each other. They even started hanging out at friends outside of work which was rare for Walter.

Walter and Y/N could be seen at the mall, shopping for Faye because Walter is clueless about what to get her. They were walking down the aisles at Barnes and Noble.

“How do you not know what to get your daughter, Don Refri?” Y/N asked him.

“I thought that name was for the district.” Walter said.

“That name is for everywhere, Don Refri. Seriously, how do you not know?” Y/N stopped walking and stood in front of him.

“I know what my daughter likes, the only problem is that I don’t know if Angie and her new husband have already bought it for her.” Walter said, looking down at Y/N (I'm 5'3 and a half, yes, my doctor counts the half inch, but Henry is 6'1 so he's pretty tall, whatever height you are, he will still be looking down at you)

“Yeah, divorce makes it harder. I’m Just guessing, my parents are still together.” Y/N said with a smile. (If they are divorced, ignore that last sentence) “How about a funko pop, does she like Marvel?" Y/N said, holding up a Captain America funko pop that was on the shelf.

"I think she is more of a DC fan." Walter said, poking the Superman funko pop on the shelf.

They could even be seen at Y/N's apartment drinking coffee.

"Thanks again for fixing my lock, it was driving me crazy.” Y/N said, giving Walter a pan dulce to drink with his coffee.

“Yeah of course, wouldn’t want you to feel unsafe in the neighborhood.” Walter said.

“Still, you could have come tomorrow but you came tonight, so I appreciate it.” Y/N said.

“It’s a 5 minute drive, you’re close by. What is this, by the way?” Walter asked

“It’s pan dulce, there’s a little Mexican bakery that i like to go to, really good, I gave you a concha.” Y/N said, also taking a bite out of her concha. Walter have it a taste.

“You’re right, it’s really good.” Walter said. They kept talking until Walter finished his coffee and they said goodbye.

The next day, Walter came into the police department with a thermos in hand and an paper bag in the other. He walked over to Y/N’s cubicle and knocked on her desk.

“Good morning, Don Refri, how are you today?” Y/N asked.

“Good morning to you too, Y/N, I’m good, and you?” Walter replied.

“Im good, what’s in the bag?” Y/N asked, she was curious to know what’s inside.

“I went to the coffee shop this morning and got you something. It might not be as good as the pan Dulce from your Mexican bakery, but this coffee shop is Latina owned.” Walter said and Y/N opened the paper bag and saw manteconchas and polvorones.

“Oh my gosh, they look so good, they smell good too, gracias Don Refri, ya te estás calentando.” Y/N said, giving him a hug. Walter hugged back and went to his office while Rachel turned to Y/N with a smirk on her face.

“Walter brought you Mexican pastries? How nice of him, looks like you might be his favorite.” Rachel said.

“Maybe it’s because I’m new, I’m sure the novelty will wear off.” Y/N said.

“Maybe, maybe not. Who knows.” Rachel said, going downstairs.

A week later, Y/N entered the department and it was all chaos, she walked over to Glasgow to see if he could tell her what’s going on.

“Why is everyone acting like my mom when Luis Miguel announced his tour?” Y/N asked.

“Detective Marshall finally found a lead to the guy who’s been trafficking teenaged girls. We got his license plate and planted a tracking device on his van so Walter asked me to see where the van stops and that’ll be this guy’s hide out,” Glasgow explained. A few minutes later, “I found him! He’s in an All Inc Warehouse!”

“Let’s get a move on, we’re finally gonna get this son of a bitch.” Walter said as he grabbed his gun and out on his vest to leave with the other officers.

“What does he mean by ‘finally’? Has this been a tough case?” Y/N said, finally being able to sit at her desk.

“Detective grumpy has been working on this case for a month. It’s been driving him crazy knowing that the guy was still out there.” Rachel said, walking in, sipping her coffee.

“Then I’m glad he’s finally catching him.” Y/N said.

An hour later, Walter walked into the district with the guy in handcuffs. Walter takes him downstairs to put him in a holding cell. He walked back upstairs.

“Y/N, i need to fill out a report, come with me please.” Walter said and Y/N followed him.

“Congratulations on the arrest, Don Refri. How does it feel?” Y/N asked.

“It feels good. How was the Mexican bread?” Walter asked.

“The polvorones we’re really good and the manteconcha was delicious. I saved you a polvorón because you have to try it. Where did you get them?” Y/N asked.

“I got it at Abogados Café.” Walter said. “What does that mean, by the way?”

“Lawyers coffee. Do they have Cuban coffee?” Y/N asked.

“I Don’t know, we can check it some other day.” Walter said.

Hours later, Walter and Y/N were finishing their paper work.

“Hey Don Refri, how do you feel about going to a bar tonight? You don’t have to drink, but I think it’ll be fun. We could celebrate that you finally solved that case! Rachel told me you’ve been working on that shit for a month.” Y/N said as she put on her jacket.

“I Don’t know about that, Y/N.” Walter said.

“Oh come on, it’s not like I’m asking you to get drunk. Let’s just go to a bar, you can play pool with the guys, I can eat some fries. We could go to Brunson’s Pub! Or Skinner’s or Iron Ranger, I don’t care, I just want a night out and I really don’t feel like cooking.” Y/N practically begged Walter as she was holding onto his biceps.

“Fine, fine, we’ll go to Brunson’s, they have more food there, I’ll tell the guys, you can tell Rachel. Group celebration.” Walter said and Y/N was happy. She texted Rachel about going to the pub and Rachel was down.

“Rachel said she’ll be there, what about Matthew and Glasgow?” Y/N said.

“Yeah, they’re coming too. You want me to drive you?” Walter said.

“And leave my car here?” Y/N asked.

“I’ll drive you to work tomorrow, it’ll be fine. This way you can drink as much as you want.” Walter said.

“Jaja, mira que funny eres.” Y/N said. They walked out of the department and got into Walter’s car. Walter put on a random playlist on Spotify. Y/N was looking out the window when she heard a familiar song, “Oh my gosh, I haven’t heard this song in forever. I love ‘colgando en tus manos’, my mom would play it in the house all the time.”

“Yeah, I found a playlist with Spanish songs, thought it would be good, maybe help with my Spanish with us being friends and all.” Walter said.

“You Don’t even know what Carlos Baute is singing right now.” Y/N commented.

“It doesn’t matter, you like this kind of music, right?” Walter asked.

“It reminds me of my life in Miami, before Latin music went mainstream.” Y/N said. They kept talking and listening to music until Walter parked in the parking lot at Brunson’s. They walked in together.

“Hey, look who made it! Detective Grumpy and his sunshine partner.” Matthew said.

“Hey, we’re not at work right now but I’m still your boss, watch it. How much have you had to drink?” Walter asked.

“He had 3 tequila shots.” Glasgow said.

“How did he get here?” Walter asked.

“I took an Uber.” Matthew said.

“Same.” Rachel and Glasgow said.

“Great, well I gotta stay sober because I have to take Y/N home. What do you want to drink?” Walter asked, turning to Y/N.

“I want a ‘bad hombre’ and you should get yourself a beer, we’re celebrating you, you should be able to let loose.” Y/N said.

“All right, I’ll go to the bar.” Walter said and Y/N slid into the booth. Walter came back with a beer, a “bad hombre” which has reposado and mezcal, and an Italian sandwich for Y/N. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, Don refri.” Y/N said. They were all talking and laughing, having a good time but Walter stepped away. “Damn, I’m running low, I’m gonna see of i Can get a beer, be right back.” Y/N said and walked to the bar when bumped into a tall man. “Oh I’m so sorry.”

“Nah, you’re good. Wait a minute, Y/N?” The man said and Y/N looked up to see a familiar face.

“No way, Mitch, how are you? What are you doing here in Minnesota?” Y/N asked as she hugged Mitch (Dylan O’Brien) a friend she made back in Virginia.

“My brother Steven wanted to go skiing. You want me to order you a beer?” Mitch asked.

“Yeah, get me a modelo.” Y/N said and Mitch told the bartender to get him two modelo beers. “Well, how’s the CIA treating you?”

“The CIA is fine. Listen, I’m sorry to hear that the FBI didn’t work out for you but maybe you can come back to Virginia and become part of the CIA.” Mitch said.

“I’d love to, but I’m not sure I can cut out as a CIA agent.” Y/N said. They kept talking and Walter got out of the bathroom to see Y/N talking to Mitch. He went back to his booth.

“Who’s that guy?” Walter asked.

“I Don’t know but he’s cute.” Rachel said. Walter went closer to hear their conversation.

“You’d do great. I swear, I would love to work with you.” Mitch said.

“Mitch, honestly, stop insisting, I’m not doing it.” Y/N said. All Walter heard was Y/N telling Mitch “no” so Walter got closer and..

“Didn’t you hear her? She said no.” And Walter decked Mitch, Mitch landing in the floor. Y/N got out of her stool.

“Walter! What did you do?” Y/N asked, facing Walter.

“Wasn’t he bothering you?” Walter asked.

“No! Walter this is Mitch, my friend who’s in the CIA. Mitch, this is Walter.” Y/N said as she helped Mitch off the floor.

“He’s your boyfriend or something?” Mitch asked.

“No, we’re just friends.” Y/N said and Walter walked outside the bar, he needed fresh air. “And he’s technically my boss at the police department. He’s a detective.”

“Well He’s quite protective of you. I should give you my number so we could hang out next time I’m in Minnesota.” Mitch said,

“That would be great.” Y/N said and they exchanged numbers. “It was great seeing you, I gotta talk to Walter.” Y/N walked outside and saw Walter leaning against his car. “What the hell was that in there?”

“Sorry, Y/N, I thought he was just a random drunk harassing you. I didn’t know he was a friend of yours.” Walter admitted.

“You could have asked. Just don’t do it again, okay.” Y/N said,

“I won’t. Are you sure you’re all right? He didn’t try anything?” Walter asked,

“Nah, Mitch is a good guy, he wanted me to ‘try out’ for the CIA but I told him no. Thanks for being protective though, I appreciate it.” Y/N said and she hugged him. “Can we go back inside? I’m kinda cold and this skirt isn’t helping.” Y/N said and Walter chuckled.

“Yeah, we can go back inside.” Walter said, leading her into the pub with his hand on the small of her back.

The End

Hope y’all liked it! i just guessed about the Latina owned coffee shop but then I was looking up coffee shops in Saint Paul and that’s when I found Abogados Café! I looked up the bars and the warehouses because I like my fanfics to be accurate when I’m writing about a state I don’t know anything about. Also, super sorry about the late “update”, I’m finishing up the fall semester and i have so much work to do but I’m procrastinating so…that’s gonna bite me in the ass when the time comes. Comment if you want to be added to the tag list

Taglist: @shellyshellshell @warriormirkwood @secretdream2

[captain-mj]

May I humbly ask for the part 2 of wolf shifter au

<3

Soap fixed them dinner and was relieved when Ghost sat at the table without being told. If he had tried to sit on the floor, Soap didn’t really know how he’d react. 

Slowly, he took the muzzle off. Ghost let him do it this time and Soap, like always, soothingly rubbed the places it was tight. He took a small moment to really look at him. With the mask gone, Soap could see scarring along his mouth. It looked a bit like Glasgow scars but they were twisted and rather dark. Another ran over his nose and looked like it had been made my claws. 

Freckles covered his nose, but they were so light he could barely see them. 

Gorgeous brown eyes. Blond eyelashes. Ginger hair that had waves to it. It was pushed back, giving him a better view of his face. 

Ghost let him look for a few minutes before looking away, unable to handle the scrutiny anymore. 

Soap quickly saw a problem though. Ghost’s hands shook when he grabbed things. It was astounding he didn’t notice when he was smoking. He tried unsuccessfully to grab the fork, unable to keep a proper grip on it. After a few tries, he gave up and just picked the food up by hand. Normally, Soap would scold him or grimace, but right now, he was more concerned with finding out why his hands shook. Might be nerve damage from the fights. They’d have to talk to a doctor about it. 

Despite eating with his hands, Ghost was surprisingly clean. He washed his hands afterward and Soap had to keep his eyes on his food instead of Ghost’s ass in those pants. 

Soap took a deep breath and reminded himself that Simon was a victim of horrible abuse. That he needed help. Assistance. Support. Not Soap being a creep. 

Ghost started to wash the dishes. 

“I have a dishwasher.” 

Ghost’s nose wrinkled. “How do I… use that? My mom didn’t like using them.”

Soap frowned. “Later, we’re working on a timeline for you. Chances are there’s a lot of stuff that I need to catch you up on. Plus just… things I need to reteach you.”

Ghost nodded and followed his lead on how to load the dishwasher. Soap turned it on and Ghost shoved himself in front of him, backing them both away from it. 

“Is it always this loud??”

“Yes. You’re just usually already asleep…” Soap gently put his hand on Ghost’s shoulder blades. 

“Hmph…” Ghost did not seem pleased. He handed Soap the muzzle and leaned closer expectantly.

Soap tried to think of a new reason why he didn’t have to but drew a blank. So gently, he put it on him. He checked it with two fingers, always making sure it wouldn’t be too tight. Ghost watched him with the same mild curiosity he always did, like Soap was doing a funny ritual Ghost was used to. A familiar song and dance. 

Soap supposed it was one. 

New problem. Sleeping. 

For the past few weeks, Ghost had slept near Soap. After a little encouragement, he had started to sleep in the bed like a person. It was mostly to help with the nightmares that plagued him. The first time he had started twitching and then woke up howling, Soap had almost screamed himself. It had been a very frightening situation!!

 Soap hadn’t really considered that until just now. He’s not sure why he thought it was a good idea at the time. But Ghost was sleeping in his bed during the day anyway, catching up on years of not being able to, so it just made sense. And it had helped with the nightmares. Plus, Ghost had looked comfy with his head on the pillows. There had been a lot of pros. 

Ghost did not notice Soap’s change in demeanor. He fell into the bed the same way he always did, curled around the same pillow he always did and laid on his tummy same way he always did. The only difference was now, he looked human. He twitched a little and looked uncomfortable before starting to pull off the too tight clothing. 

Soap watched him. Watched him stretch with his back arching and then settled into the bed, looking up at Soap. 

“Still don’t want you to cuddle me. Not a teddy bear.” Ghost growled at him and closed his eyes. He didn’t look peaceful, but he looked… a little softer. His body melting into the bed. 

Soap settled in next to him and stared at the ceiling. He counted his breaths as he tried to sleep. They didn’t touch at any point. The place between them felt both very small and chasm like. 

Ghost slowly shifted on to his back as well. 

“Have trouble sleeping?”

“Always do when I’m human.”

“You could shift now and go back in the morning?”

Ghost just shook his head. After a few minutes of silence, he added. “I don’t think I’ll ever go back to being human if I do.” 

Soap nodded slowly. “Alright, Simon. Guess I need to start calling you that.” 

“I prefer Ghost. Unless we’re close.”

“We not close?”

“Getting there.” Ghost promised. “Making friends… isn’t really something I’m used to.”

Soap looked at him for a moment before reaching over the small divide. Ghost’s eyes never left him. Twin flames thanks to how they reflected the light. They followed him until Soap’s hand ended up on his shoulder. The area was thick with scars from claws and teeth. 

Ghost stared at it for a minute and then slowly relaxed again. 

“When was the last time someone touched you without hurting you?” Soap asked softly.

“Before you, I’m assuming… I don’t know. I can’t really remember.” Ghost looked at him, dark eyes slowly closing. “Johnny.”

“Yeah, Simon?”

“We’re going shopping tomorrow, right?”

“Told you we would.” Soap smiled at him and Ghost’s eyes went to his mouth. He watched him nod and then close his eyes fully, turning away to sleep. 

In the morning, Soap woke up to Ghost half on him. His head was on Soap’s chest and his arms were sprawled all over him. He was sleeping peacefully though. 

Soap slid his hand under the pillow to grab his phone and sent a message to Price.

“Ghost finally shifted back. Need money for supplies. Thanks.”

Price answered back quickly. “Having any issues?”

“No. I’ll introduce you two tonight, don’t worry.” Soap put his phone down and ran his fingers through Ghost’s hair. It was incredibly soft and it made Ghost nuzzle closer into him.

Ghost started his usual twitching and Soap quickly shook him to wake him up. Ghost’s claws sank into his sides for just a moment and he growled before pushing up. He quickly pulled away. 

“Good morning, Ghost.” Soap smiled, pretending nothing had happened. “You alright?”

Ghost slunk off the bed and shook himself. “Morning…”

“Alright. Let me get dressed and we’ll go. Just wear the clothes from yesterday, alright?” 

Ghost nodded and started getting dressed. His back popped and he groaned slightly. Soap grabbed his clothes and went to the bathroom to change. He slipped his clothes on and looked at himself briefly in the mirror. There were a few bruises on his hips that were still healing and a few bites scattered about. He quickly covered them back up. 

Ghost was dressed now and sitting on the bed, ankles crossed. He perked up when Soap walked in. Soap wondered briefly if his tail would be wagging before remembering that no it wouldn’t because Ghost never wagged his tail. 

“You can’t go out muzzled.”

Ghost tilted his head. “I’ve done it before.” 

Soap cringed at the idea of him being forced out like this. It explained his… insistence on it though. Probably was beat into him. “Really?”

“Yeah. I didn’t like it at first but I got used to it.” 

Soap nodded. “Well… Where we are now, it would not be good. You can’t wear it.”

Ghost’s grip tightened on the bed. “But… how will people know I’m owned? If I’m not wearing it, someone else may grab me.”

Soap knew for a fact that Mexico was not much different on wolf shifter rights than America, so he wasn’t sure where this idea came from. Was it set up by his previous… Soap did not want to call them owners. Ghost was not owned. Captors. He had heard once of traffickers convincing victims that there was a giant conspiracy of people that would bring them back if they ever disobeyed. Soap guessed being told people who wanted you were around every corner wasn’t that different. 

It also made Soap realize the amount of trust Ghost must have in him to do this at all. It would be so easy for him to snarl and fight and hide under the bed. Soap didn’t know how to show appreciation for that so he didn’t. He instead reached over and gently cupped Ghost’s face. 

“No one is going to touch you.” Soap undid the leather buckles and slid it off his face, taking him in again. 

“They’ll see my face.” 

“What if you wear a mask?” Soap offered and Ghost looked up at him, clearly thinking. 

“A mask?”

Soap nodded and found one of the medical ones he kept on hand. He, despite knowing Ghost could probably figure it out, put it on him, making sure it was tight around his ears and against his face. It was just a plain black one, but Ghost immediately relaxed. “See? Now no one can see your face.” 

Ghost stood up and grabbed the collar from the first time Soap brought him home. He handed it to him. “Just to be sure.”

Soap wouldn’t take it. He refused. “Listen, Ghost. No one is going to try to take you anywhere.”

“How can you be sure? I want them to know.” 

Soap sighed softly as Ghost managed to get his hand open and put the collar into it. 

“Please?”

Soap grimaced. “Fine.” 

Ghost smiled and leaned closer, exposing his throat to him. Soap carefully slid it on him and patted his cheek. It looked nice against his skin, but Soap would never ever admit that. 

“Thank you.” Ghost did look much calmer so Soap decided it was another thing he’d have to let go for now. The mask also looked nice. 

Soap took him to the car and Ghost put the rock station he liked on. He tried to curl up in the seat but he didn’t really fit so he tried again. He grumbled and eventually settled on sitting normally. 

Soap started to drive and Ghost stayed looked out the window. Occasionally Ghost would grab the little loop on the collar and play with it, turning it around and around. He glanced at Soap.

“Eyes on the road, Johnny.” 

Soap quickly looked back at the road, continuing to drive. Ghost chuckled. 

“Tonight, I’m going to introduce you to some people.” Soap explained. He felt Ghost start to panic. “Don’t worry, they’re just some friends. Remember the people at the rescue place?”

“The ones that pointed guns at me and shot me with a tranquilizer dart? I had a headache for a few hours afterwards.”

Soap frowned. “They were just scared because I was so close to you. Didn’t want me to get bit.”

“I would’ve.” Ghost glanced at him. “Was planning on tearing you to pieces.”

Soap stared at him and the car ride got very quiet from there. 

Once at the mall, Soap went in search of something that would fit Ghost. He looked for brighter clothing too, thinking of how nice Ghost would look in blue. Or green. 

A few people looked at them. It was easy to see why. Ghost was a giant man with scars and tattoos with a collar on, following Soap, a more… average sized person who was trying to not think about the collar. They were an odd pair. 

Soap found some shirts and turned around to see Ghost staring at band tees. He noticed specifically it was the older ones from early 2000’s. MCR, Paramore, Green day. His fingers ghosted over the fabric and he pulled away quickly, like he shouldn’t. 

“Do you want some?”

“It’s what I used to wear.” Ghost explained. 

Soap grabbed a few. “Let’s get you some pants now, yeah?”

Ghost nodded and followed him, putting his fingers through his belt loops so Soap couldn’t get too far away. Soap tried to steer him away, but Ghost only wanted the military fatigues and black sweat pants, clearly preferring comfort and a bunch of pockets. He supposed as long as he had clothes and was happy, he’d never deny Ghost what he wanted. 

“Now to try them on!” Soap shoved Ghost into a changing room. “Show me whatever fits.”

Ghost looked around the tiny room. He moved his weight back and forth between his feet.

Don’t look at the mirror. 

Soap is right outside. 

Ghost started to undress. Then he slowly put one of the band shirts on. It showed his arms. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Then he tried on a pair of the pants. It was one of the looser ones but it still hugged his thighs. He couldn’t tell if it was supposed to fit like that or not. 

“Soap?”

“Yeah, Ghost?” 

“Can you come in here?”

Soap was quiet for a second before opening the door and quickly stepping inside. “Wanted to make sure no one saw. Get the wrong idea ya know?”

Ghost didn’t really get why that would be a problem but he nodded. “Can you help me?” 

Soap stared at his body for a minute. “I like the way that looks.”

Ghost stared at him for a minute but… Soap’s attention was different. It didn’t make his skin crawl the same way other men’s did. He allowed him to keep looking before he tried on something else. 

“Too tight. Worried it’ll tear.” 

Ghost nodded and continued that way. Before long, they had two small piles, ones that Ghost wanted and ones that didn’t fit. Also in the didn’t fit pile were the pieces of clothing with any color other than black on them. Ghost refused to try them on. 

“You’re a very picky person.” 

Ghost hummed.

[lovingrosewho]

Grudges

So here we go again: many many years ago (around 2017), I wrote this Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader! fanfiction, I never published it ‘cause I was always making corrections and re-reading it, I tried to publish it around 2019 I think, but then I lost that tumblr account… anyways. After all these years, I bring it to you again, with no new corrections, just myself from 2017 speaking/writing. Hope you like it!

MULTICHAPTER

CHAPTER ONE

Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!reader!

Rating: T

Word count: 4128

Summary: the BAU is investigating a series of murders in your hometown, and you’re right in the middle of it, but Dr. Spencer Reid takes a particular liking in you.

Warnings: usual tv series stuff (absent father, missing relative, murder and crime scene descriptions)

(set after season 8)

It was just another day at the BAU, Penelope had just called everyone into the conference room to explain the next case.

“Delaware. Three victims. First victim was killed two weeks ago, his name was Adrien Sanders, he was 57 years old, 5’7 feet tall; second victim was killed almost a week ago, Philip Moore, 56 years old, 5’9 feet tall; and third victim, Dennis Barnes, was killed yesterday, he was 59 years old, also 5’9 feet tall. All three were males, and as you can see, with similar physical features” she explains pointing with a laser to the pictures “Although, they were shot in different places; Sanders was shot in the stomach, Moore on the neck and the right leg, and Barnes was shot several times in… pretty much everywhere” García says, getting goosebumps from the images shown.

“He’s escalating, acting out of rage. Are there any connections besides the physical similarity between the victims?” Morgan asks.

“None, apparently. Sanders was a salesman, he was murdered in Pike Creek, getting out of a bar at night, Moore was a lawyer, killed in plain daylight, near his house in Glasgow, and Barnes was shot at his job, a car factory in Wilmington. No witnesses”.

“I believe we’ve got ourselves an unsub who uses his victims as surrogates for someone else due to the extreme resemblance they present. We’ll keep discussing it on the plane. Wheels up in 30” Hotch declares.

“There’s no evident pattern on the map, it just seems like the unsub picked… random locations” Reid says frowning while looking at the map, tracing lines on it.

“If he’s using his victims as surrogates, wouldn’t it be possible that these men are just victims of opportunity? Maybe the man who killed them is in some kind of delusion that they are who he really wants to kill, they cross paths with him, looking almost, or exactly like his target, and then… that’s it. They’re gone”. JJ says.

“Why are we assuming he’s a man?” Rossi questions.

“That’s a good point…” Spencer speaks “Nothing makes it look like it… this unsub… it doesn’t look like he had a special or knowing management of a gun given the places where he shot his victims, he didn’t use his hands, so there are no traces on the bodies, there’s no signature, no murder weapon, no sign that it was personal, there are no witnesses… there’s no way we can know if it’s a man or a woman”.

“Then we’re back at square one” Morgan concludes “We can’t move forward if we don’t even know if the killer is a male or a female ‘cause we’ve got nothing else, no signature, no nothing”.

“Of course we have something: victimology” Hotch points out “Try to stop looking for the unsub directly, start looking for the next victim, who fits the description and how could he be connected to the unsub. When we land, Reid and I will speak to Delaware authorities to find out what else they can tell us about the case, Rossi and Morgan, go to the last crime scene and let us know what you can tell about this last murder, JJ, go talk to the families of the victims, see what they can tell you about them, if they have any suspicions of someone who could’ve killed their relatives, and if they know of any connection at all with the other victims”.

“You got it” JJ assures.

“We’ll meet you again at Wilmington’s offices”.

While the BAU is busy trying to catch the killer in your town, you’re busy going to work riding your bicycle at the same time you brush your teeth.

You get to the flower shop almost half hour late and start giving Irene, the old lady you work for, explanations as to why you are late, she just looks at you all messed up and laughs, telling you it’s fine since it’s the first time you’re late and that it is no big deal.

You sigh, trying to calm your nerves. You stayed up pretty late last night, waiting for Connor’s text, letting you know he was okay. He’s been doing that for the past couple of weeks he’s been missing. At first you wondered if it was really him, he must’ve guessed that, because he sent you a voicenote, telling you not to worry, saying he needed to clear his mind, apologizing for his behavior… since then, he had been texting you everyday at the same hour every night, but last night, he didn’t text you until 4 a.m.

You figured it was normal, after meeting with your father again, who you hadn’t seen in your 25 years, until then.

You think about all of that while arranging all of the flowers on the counter and changing the signboard from “CLOSED” to “OPEN”, when you do that, you sigh again, sitting behind the counter, pulling a book out of your bag, waiting for the doorbell to ring, indicating you have a customer.

It takes less than 5 minutes for it to ring, which is weird. You frown without taking your eyes off of your book until you’re done reading that sentence. You look up with your best smile and ready to work, when you see your dad standing on the doorway. You roll your eyes and pinch your nose bridge on that precise instant, sensing an oncoming migraine.

“What do you want?” you ask, not raising your voice so Irene doesn’t get startled.

“I told you. I want to make peace with you. And your brother” he says, smiling. What a hypocrite.

“Sir. I’m gonna need to ask you to get out” you say, still not raising the volume.

“(Y/N)…”

“I told you that day at the coffee shop… neither me, or Connor, are going to make peace with you… you weren’t here… ever… the few things I know about you, are that you used to beat Connor and my mom up, and that you left the second I was born, how am I supposed to forgive you uh? Tell me” you rant.

“I told you, I am truly sorry”.

“No you’re not… and even if you are… it is not enough. Look, sir, I’m going to ask you to leave again, if you don’t, or if I see you again, I’m gonna call the police and accuse you of harassment, understood?” you state, voice firm and impassive. He looks at you, surprise in his eyes, but nods and turns around, opening the door.

“If you ever change your mind… I’m renting a small apartment here in Wilmington, in front of Stapler Park” he says before getting out and start walking.

“Screw you” you whisper, getting back to your book, when Irene comes to stand behind you.

“Your old man?” she inquires with her Alabamian accent.

“Nah” you say, not removing your eyes from the page you’re in “He’s not my anything”.

A couple of days went by, the team was at Wilmington's offices, discussing the case all over again after each of them had researched enough but came up clean.

"JJ what did you come up with?" Hotch interrogates her, frustrated about not getting anywhere near catching the unsub.

"Not much, I mean... I’m trying to make connections but... the three victims were pretty much... average Joe's... Adrien Sanders was out drinking with a couple of friends, nothing unusual according to his ex wife, Philip Moore was supposed to come home to his son and wife, he was only a couple of blocks away from his house, and Dennis Barnes was working on fixing some car engine, according to his coworkers. Nothing out of the ordinary, no leads..."

"Okay then, let's start thinking, if they're surrogates, who are they surrogates for?" Hotch follows up.

"Could be an ex husband?" Rossi suggests.

"Or perhaps it would be more likely to be an abusive relative?" Morgan thinks.

"Statistically yeah, 3.3 million American children are exposed to domestic violence in their homes each year, 45 to 70% of the same number of children who are exposed to domestic violence are also victims of physical abuse, because of the trauma, they have higher risks of alcohol/drug abuse and juvenile delinquency" Reid states, almost like quoting it from a book.

"The victims were 56, 57 and 59 years old, which means we're looking for someone between the ages of 25-30" Rossi says until Reid comes in again.

"Actually, I think we should consider 25-35 or more, statistics show that it is more likely to suffer from domestic violence when they come from an unwanted pregnancy, which means..."

"Teenage parents" JJ guesses.

"Exactly... we shouldn't even dismiss someone who is 40 years old" Reid assures.

"Okay then what are we looking for? Males or females who suffered from domestic violence, delusional, probably with a criminal record..." Hotch starts.

"Kids who suffer this, don't usually have social skills nor education" Rossi interrupts.

"I think it's time we give the profile" Hotch declares getting out of the conference room.

"We're looking for males or females between the ages of 25-40 years old, who suffered from domestic violence, they're more likely to have a criminal record, no social skills, and barely any or no education at all" Hotch says to the authorities who are present in the room.

"This unsub doesn't know how to manage his anger, he uses his victims as surrogates to what we think might be an abusive relative" Morgan informs.

"He or she might as well be delusional, he kills his victims because he thinks he saw his real target. The victims he's looking for are males from 55-60 years old, with a fair complexion, dark hair, and about 5"9 feet tall. When you relieve this information to the press, let them know the characteristics of the victimology, in case someone knows anyone who has this specific features. Thank you" Hotch concludes before getting back to the office with the rest of the team to call Garcia.

"Ready to act, sir" she answers.

"Garcia we need you to check reports from children who suffered from domestic violence in the estate of Delaware, more specifically in the cities of Pike Creek, Glasgow and Wilmington in the last 40 years" Hotch demands.

"Your wish is my command sir, and... oh... I've got 17,334 results..."

The team keeps trying to crosscheck results for a while, but none fit the profile.

"Maybe they weren't even born here" Rossi says, frankly exhausted.

The phone rings and JJ answers.

"Yeah... could you give me his name? Barry (Y/L/N)... okay, thank you, what about an address? That's okay, thank you ma'am" JJ hangs up and looks at the team "Someone fits the description of the victims".

"Garcia, could you look for a man named Barry (Y/L/N) please?" Hotch asks.

"Right... he is 57 years old, got married in Washington D.C... and... oh my god..."

"What is it babygirl?" Morgan questions, worry in his voice.

"It's just... there are... several anonymous reports of domestic violence... and... he has a daughter. (Y/N) (Y/L/N)".

"What can you tell us about her?" Hotch interrogates.

"She is 25 years old, lives here, on the city of Wilmington, she has no social media handles, but... something's not right".

"What do you mean?" JJ says.

"She doesn't fit the profile even though her father does fit the victimology. She went to kindergarten and the first year of elementary school at Washington D.C, then she continued studying but here in Delaware, graduated from college with honors from the University of Delaware, with a degree in fine arts."

"What about a criminal record?" Morgan inquires.

"None, she's... perfect..." Garcia says, giving up.

"Okay, thanks Garcia" Hotch says and hangs up, frustrated again "It doesn't matter that she doesn't fit the profile, we should still check her out, see what she can tell us about her father. Reid, I need you to take care of that, while the rest of us try to figure out if something went wrong with the profile".

"Why just me?" Spencer frowns.

"Because you're closer to her age, and given the facts Garcia gave us about her, she sounds pretty similar to you, maybe you can get her to tell you something relevant" Aaron tells him. Spencer doesn't look so comfortable going on his own but agrees at the end, when he's about to leave the conference room Morgan yells at him.

"Hey kid! Just wrap it up!" he says mocking him and starts laughing, the whole team starts giggling, except for Hotch who only looks at him and shrugs. Spencer's cheeks turn red and he rushes to get out of Wilmington's offices.

Meanwhile, you get home from the flower shop, still no sign from Connor.

You go to your room, dodging the canvas and cans of paint so you can change into something more comfortable when there's a knock at the door. You close your eyes and frown, waiting to hear Connor's voice.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)?" a man says through the door "I’m... Dr. Spencer Reid, I'm with the FBI, could you please open your door?".

Panic starts flooding you when the thought of Connor being in trouble pops up.

You walk slowly to the door and open it, revealing the most beautiful man you've seen in your entire life. Spencer is taken aback by your beauty as well, he looks at you in shock, as if he was expecting someone else.

"Are you...?" he starts.

"Yes" you interrupt “Uh... come in please".

When he enters the small house, the first thing he notices is a huge amount of books spread all over the place, you start picking them up and trying to pile them somewhere where they don't get in the way.

"I'm so sorry" you apologize "I wasn't planning on having any visits".

He giggles softly "It's okay" he says, helping you pick up the ones on the couch, leaving them on a table near it.

"Would you um...? Like some coffee? Or tea or water or... something?" you ramble.

"Coffee is fine, thank you".

You bring two mugs of coffee to the table in front of the couch, along with sugar and milk in case he’d like to pour some. You sit next to him, holding your cup between your both hands.

"So... how can I help you?" you finally ask.

"I'm with the BAU... the uh... the Behavioral Analysis Unit, we... profile the unsub... unsub stands for unknown subject... we-uh-we are investigating the recent murders that take place here in Delaware" he explains.

"Oh... okay" you say, still not understanding how can you help them.

"Do you... do you know this man?" he asks, showing you a picture of your father, you look at it, not even taking it to get a closer look.

"Yes, he's the son of a bitch who abandoned my family the day I was born" you whisper, holding your cup more forcefully than necessary.

He looks at you with a look you can't decipher.

"There are... several anonymous reports of domestic violence... I was wondering if... I could ask you a few questions about it, about your life in general" when he says this, it hits you.

"Are you considering me a suspect?" he scratches the back of his head, bowing it down.

"Your father... matches the victimology, and even though you don't fit the entire profile, we shouldn't dismiss any possibilities... I just... I want to know a bit more about you and your family, that's all, I'm not assuming anything".

"What do you want to know?" you murmur.

"What do you remember about your father?"

"Nothing. I told you. He left the day I was born, my mother died 6 years after that".

"What...? What do you mean? Who raised you then?" he looks surprised. You thought he would know that part of your life if he already knew who your father was.

"My brother of course".

He stays quiet for a couple of minutes, staring at you.

"I didn't know you had a brother" he confesses "What's his name?"

"Connor" you look down at your, now cold, cup of coffee, and take a sip.

"Can you tell me more about him?" he asks politely.

"Well... we were both born in Washington D.C... my mother had him when she was 18 and my father was 20, it was an unwanted pregnancy... for all I know, he used to beat my mother up, and Connor as well, when he tried to defend her. 12 years later, my mother got pregnant again… the day I was born, my father left, so my brother started working as a carpenter's assistant... after dating several guys, abusive, just like my dad, my mom got into a severe depression and died when I was 6 years old... by then my brother was already 18, and he had saved up enough for us to move here to Delaware... we've been living here ever since" you explain, the images of your mother, lying dead on her bed tormenting you again.

"So your brother... he worked and studied at the same time?" he questions.

"No... he... he couldn't afford to keep us both in school, he wasn't even able to finish elementary school but... he made sure I went to and finish college. He raised me... as if I was his own daughter" you say, feeling kind of guilty.

“What about his social life?” he asks, worry starting to show up on his face.

“Neither of us has what you would consider a social life… I’m always buried either on my books or my paintings, if not, I’m working on the flower shop, and he’s always buried on his work… we have each other, and that’s quite enough, when we come home we have dinner together, talk about our day, watch a movie or something… it’s… pretty much just the two of us against the world. It’s always been like that” you acknowledge, a single tear streaming down your cheek.

Spencer looks at you almost with pity and cleans the tear with his thumb mindlessly, even though he’s not too keen of physical contact, it just seems appropriate. The gesture sends butterflies to your stomach.

“(Y/N)… listen to me carefully… I need you to tell me where your brother is”.

“What?” you exclaim, fear coming out of your voice “You think he did this? No. Spencer… no, I’m sorry but that’s not possible. You don’t know him. He wouldn’t… no… the fact that the victims are similar to my father is just a coincidence, Connor is just… not capable of this… I mean…” you ramble with your voice cracking at the end.

“(Y/N)” he stares at you, looking directly into your eyes, it is as if he can see right through you “Where is he?”

“I don’t know!” you shout bursting into tears “He disappeared two weeks ago”.

“Why didn’t you report him missing?”

“’Cause he’s been sending me texts every night, letting me know he’s okay! I figured… we saw our father again… after 25 years without seeing him, he found us… I thought… I thought it was normal that he wanted some time alone…”

“What’s his phone number?” he asks, pulling out his own cellphone, dialing a number “Garcia, I need you to run a name for me and track a number”.

“Okie dokie” a woman says at the other end of the line “Shoot”.

“Connor (Y/L/N). He’s (Y/N)’s brother. I just sent you the number”.

“Alright, let me do my magic… mmmh… oh. Wow. This is weird. I’ve got nothing”.

“What do you mean you’ve got nothing?” Spencer says, raising his voice.

“He’s not registered. At all. Not even a birth certificate. And the cellphone’s off”.

“He was never registered” you inform “Our parents never considered it important, so...”

“Where does he work?” Spencer cuts you off in a desperate way, you give him the address of the truck company “(Y/N), I need to go with the team. Will you be okay on your own?”

You nod slightly “Just… call me when you find him… please” you plead, still sobbing.

“Yes. I promise. I will. Thank you” he says reaching for the doorknob “(Y/N)… please be careful. Connor is delusional… please, lock the doors and windows... and stay safe” after telling you this, he leaves in a hurry, leaving his cup of coffee intact on top of the table.

You sit on the couch, laying down slowly, you close your eyes. You fall asleep crying, wishing that when you wake up, everything going on around you is just a nightmare.

Spencer joins the team when they’re about to leave Wilmington’s offices to go to your brother’s workplace, the moment he hops onto the van, the whole team starts bombing him with questions.

“Reid, what did (Y/N) tell you?” Hotch inquires while driving.

“Her father left when she was born, her brother is 12 years older than her which means he’s 37, their father used to abuse Connor and her mother… the anonymous reports of domestic violence must’ve been done by him, but no one ever did anything. They saw their father two weeks ago”.

“That must’ve been the stressor” Rossi affirms.

When the team gets to Connor’s workplace, they don’t find him, but they do find his boss.

“Michael Turner?” Hotch asks a bald man approaching them, showing him his badge “I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner, this is my team, we’re with the FBI investigating the murders that take place here in Delaware”.

“How can I help you?” Mr. Turner asks unsurely.

“We’re looking for Connor (Y/L/N), I believe he works for you”, Michael laughs ironically.

“Not anymore” he says “That kid hasn’t come to work for days, the last time I saw him, he had to drop some packages in Pike Creek and Glasgow, when you find him, tell him he’s fired”.

“Mr. Turner, why did you hire Connor in the first place if he had no identifications?” Spencer interrogates.

“’Cause he was just a boy… just 18, having to take care of his 6 year old sister… I took him under my wing, how could I not? But for what I see, this is the payment I get” he exclaims angrily while turning around “Excuse me gentlemen, but I have work to do”.

“Thank for your time” Aaron says, turning back to the team “Where else could Connor be?”

“If he’s been looking for a specific target, that could be his endgame” JJ suggests.

“We need to know where his father lives currently, if he’s delusional about people who look like him, his father is his endgame” says Hotch.

“We need to be fast, he hasn’t killed anyone in days, that could mean he already knows where his father lives, I’ll call Garcia” Morgan decides and dials the number “Hey, talk to me babygirl”.

“My chocolate thunder, what can I do for you?” she answers.

“I need you to tell me where Barry (Y/L/N) currently lives”.

“Okay let me check, he… oh no. He just rented an apartment in front of Staple Park, here in Wilmington, I’m sending you the complete address right now”.

“Thanks Garcia, we’re on our way ” Hotch indicates, turning the siren on and starting the engine of the SUV.

When they arrive to Barry (Y/L/N)’s apartment, they discover he is just fine, watching TV on the livingroom.

“Can I help you?” he asks standing up, clearly mad about some stranger breaking into his house, his voice is hoarse from drinking.

“Mr. (Y/L/N), we’re with the FBI, have you seen your son Connor (Y/L/N)?” Hotch asks annoyed by the man in front of him.

“My son?” he chuckles “I don’t think my son will want to see me ever again”.

“He hasn’t talked to you? Threatened you?” Morgan inquires.

“No, but who did threat me, actually, was his sister” the team notices right away that he said ‘his sister’ instead of ‘my daughter’. Barry rolls his eyes “She said she’d accuse me of harassment if I came near her ever again”.

“She’s not our unsub” Reid claims abruptly.

“We know that, Reid” Hotch tells him, dismayed by his sudden behavior “Mr. (Y/L/N), please don’t hesitate on calling if something strange happens”.

“Stranger than a bunch of FBI agents breaking into my apartment?” he huffs “Yeah, okay, I will”.

The team gets out of the house, confused by the pattern Connor has been following.

“He hasn’t killed anyone else, that can just mean that he’s looking for his endgame, the one who made it imposible for him to live the life he wanted or deserved” Rossi intervenes.

“Unless…” JJ starts “Unless his father isn’t his endgame”.

“Who else could it be?” Morgan exclaims, raising his eyebrows.

“(Y/N)” Reid says, running towards the SUV, followed by the rest of the team.

Chapter 2

MASTERLIST

[c-e-d-dreamer]

But I'm Only Looking At You: Epilogue

A/N: Whelp. It's officially the end of @cassianappreciationweek and it's officially the end of this fic. I hope everyone has enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing! Everyone's comments and reblogs have meant the absolute world to me. And I hope you all enjoy this cute little epilogue. Maybe one day I'll return to this Universe and what Nesta's sisters are getting up to ;)

Read on AO3 // Chapter Masterlist // Previous Part

Cassian can’t stop staring at her, can barely breathe. She’s not wearing her hair down the way she’s grown more comfortable doing around the manor, but it’s not her uptight style either. The top part of her hair is still braided back around her head, but the rest of her hair falls in soft waves around her shoulders. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. He can’t stop tracking the faint shades of pink sitting high on her cheek bones, can’t stop tracking the way she has her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she concentrates.

But it’s Nesta’s dress that truly has Cassian’s attention, that has his heart skipping over itself between his ribs. The red of the tartan looks breathtaking on her, complimenting well with the stormy blue of his eyes. His colors. She’s wearing his colors. Their colors now. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of, and now it’s right here in front of him.

He reaches his hand up toward her, his fingers just barely skating across the skin of her wrist before Nesta smacks his hand away. She finishes securing his brooch into place, straightening out the fabric of his own tartan. She slides her hands down his chest, her lips tugging up in a satisfied smile, and Cassian can’t stop his own grin from growing. His hands move to secure around her waist, tugging her flush against him.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Cassian murmurs, leaning down to steal a kiss, but before he can, Nesta’s hand on his chest stops him.

“We’re late enough as it is,” Nesta reminds him. “And Elain will kill us.”

“It’s not our fault the baby came early. I mean one would almost think—”

“Don’t you dare.”

Cassian presses his lips firmly together, biting his tongue around the words threatening to spill forward, but he’s certainly not the first person to think them. The whole ton has been a flood of gossip and whispers, so much so it’s reached even him. Everyone is talking about how fruitful Lucien and Elain’s wedding night must have been, how quickly they were blessed to be with child.

It doesn’t help, of course, that Lucien had used his money and status to be granted a Special License, he and Elain wed faster than the post could reach he and Nesta in Glasgow to attend. That particular part of their whirlwind love story only seems to feed and fuel the spiraling talk around the ton, the speculation and the curious glances.

Between that and his and Nesta’s own unorthodox wedding, it’s safe to say that most members of London’s society now looked down their noses at the former Archeron ladies.

Still, Cassian doesn’t breathe a word of that aloud to Nesta. He certainly has no intention of stoking that fire, of earning his wife’s ire. So, instead he tries a different tactic, not releasing her from his grip and tilting his head, offering Nesta that charming smirk he knows she loves.

“It’s just a kiss, Nes.”

Nesta rolls her eyes, but she can’t hide the fondness of her expression. “And I know you. I know exactly what one kiss will lead to.”

“Just one kiss,” Cassian promises.

He reaches one of his hands up to cradle her jaw, leaning in until his nose bumps against hers. With his fingers pressed against her neck, he can feel the way her breath hitches, the way her pulse jumps and betrays her. He can watch the way her eyelashes flutter, eyes melting to that beautiful shade of blue he loves.

He closes the distance between them and slots their lips together, kissing Nesta languidly. She practically sighs into his mouth, fingers curling into his shirt, and he knows he’s won, teasingly sweeping his tongue into her mouth. When he finally pulls away, Nesta presses up onto her toes and tries to follow, and Cassian can’t help but chuckle softly, pressing a final, sweet kiss to her lips.

“Just one kiss as promised,” Cassian says, smiling smugly at the blissed out expression on her face.

“I hate you,” Nesta mutters, straightening and dusting her hands down her skirt.

She turns on her heel and heads for the bedroom door, but Cassian is hot on her heels. “That’s a funny way to say love.”

Nesta turns her head over her shoulder to settle Cassian with an unimpressed look, but he doesn’t let it deter him, doesn’t even bother biting back his wide smile. He sees the flicker of amusement glint through her blue eyes, sees the smallest twitch to the corner of her lips that gives away the smile she’s trying to suppress, but she’s quick to turn back around, pulling open the door and stepping out into the hallway.

Cassian reaches out and catches Nesta’s hand in his as they walk, threading their fingers together and bringing their joined hands to his mouth so he can press a kiss to Nesta’s knuckles. When she turns to glance at him again, she’s wearing that soft, fond expression that Cassian knows is only for him, that always sends his heart soaring. She squeezes his fingers with hers, and he knows all is forgiven. They head down the stairs and into the hall, Rhys making a big show of sighing, pushing off where he’s leaning against the wall.

“Glad you both finally decided to join us,” Rhys comments dryly, raising a pointed eyebrow.

“Jealousy isn't a good look on you, Rhysie. We were busy,” Cassian explains, daring to wink, but it earns him a smack in the stomach from Nesta, hard enough to pull a surprised gasp out of him. “Sorry, Nes.” He presses a kiss to Nesta’s cheek in apology, Nesta humming quietly in acceptance.

Azriel chooses that moment to step into the room, straightening out the cuffs of his sleeve. “Are we leaving? The carriage is waiting.” His eyes sweep over everyone, settling on Nesta and offering her a small smile and a bow of his head. “Mrs MacLeod. You look lovely. Red certainly suits you.”

“Thank you,” Nesta tells him. “I’m glad someone here is capable of being a gentleman.”

Azriel’s smile morphs into a smirk and he holds out his arm in offering. “Always.”

Striding forward, Nesta settles her hand in the crook of Azriel’s elbow, allowing him to guide them both out of the door and out of Velaris manor. Cassian wants to be annoyed, but it warms his heart to see Nesta so comfortable with his chosen brothers. Especially Azriel. Ever since he made the trip to come and stay at their manor in Glasgow, she and him seem to share some sort of special bond, one that strangely involves a lot of intense games of cards.

Cassian and Rhys follow them out the door and into the carriage, Cassian taking the seat beside Nesta with his brothers opposite him. He lays his hand on her leg, thumb tracing senseless, soothing patterns across her knee, as the carriage jerks forward. With her arms looped through his, Nesta lets out a soft sigh and drops her head to his shoulder, the long journey and carriage ride of yesterday clearly leaving her exhausted still. Cassian turns his face enough that he can press a kiss to her head, hiding his soft, happy smile in her hair, but he can feel Rhys and Azriel’s attention on them, can see their knowing expressions and smirks out of the corner of his eye.

“Excited to see Feyre today?” Cassian asks Rhys, hoping to turn the focus off of him and Nesta.

“Will she be there?” Rhys fires back, the too innocent tone of his voice not convincing for a second.

Cassian rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you just ask for her hand already?”

“He already has,” Azriel offers, clearly listening in despite his eyes watching the passing landscape outside the window.

“You and my sister are engaged?” Nesta asks, sitting up in surprise.

Rhys clears his throat awkwardly, picking at the sleeve of his jacket. “She said no. Said she has no interest in being anyone's 'little housewife.'”

Cassian presses a hand to his mouth to try and stifle his laughter, but it does little to help, the sound still bubbling out of him. Rhys rolls his eyes at the reaction, clearly incensed by Feyre’s rejection, but that just spurs Cassian’s delight even more. “Serves you right. About time someone knocked you down a peg.”

“Don't worry. I'll get her to change her mind,” Rhys assures them with a smug smile, but then his eyes glance toward Nesta, toward the unimpressed ire on her face and that smile starts to slip. “In a gentlemanly fashion, of course.”

The carriage pulls to a stop in front of the church, and Rhys and Azriel slip out. Cassian follows behind his brothers, turning and holding his hand out in offering. Nesta’s palm slides against his, fingers curling around his hand, as she steps down. She’s even more beautiful in the golden light of the morning, the sun’s rays bouncing off her hair, brightening the lightness that’s settled so surely amongst the blues of her eyes in the past months. For a moment, Cassian’s struck dumb, merely staring at her while warmth floods through his chest.

“What?” Nesta asks quietly, her brows pinching in confusion as she blinks up at him.

“You’re just so beautiful,” Cassian explains easily, reaching up with his free hand and sliding the backs of his fingers down her temple, her cheek.

Color spills across her skin at the compliment, but her gaze softens all the same, the smallest hint of a smile breaking free from where she has her lips pressed together.

“Nesta! You made it.” Cassian and Nesta turn to watch Feyre rush down the front steps of the church, the youngest Archeron’s smile wide. When she comes to a stop in front of them, her eyes sweep over Nesta, her head tilting curiously. “Wow. You look…”

“Different, I know,” Nesta finishes, fiddling with the skirts of her dress and clearing her throat awkwardly.

Feyre reaches forward, taking Nesta’s hand in hers to stop her fidgeting and squeezing. “Happy.”

The sisters share a moment together, share soft smiles between them, before Cassian places his hand on the small of Nesta’s back, leaning in to remind her, “we should probably head inside, sweetheart.”

Nesta nods in agreement, and their little group heads up the church steps and into the atrium. While Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel continue on into the nave, Nesta pauses and takes a moment to breathe deeply, so Cassian stops too, keeping his hand on her back and drawing soothing circles. Despite all of her words of assurance, Cassian knows she’s been feeling anxious all week about seeing her mother today. Unsurprisingly, Eleanor Archeron hasn’t taken the time to visit them in Glasgow, hasn’t even taken the time to write to Nesta.

Nesta reaches her own hand back and gives his fingers a quick squeeze, and Cassian knows that she’s alright. He moves his arm so that he can offer it to her, and once Nesta’s hand is settled comfortably in the crook of his elbow, they continue forward into the nave of the church. Elain and Lucien are already waiting at the front of the church, so Cassian leads them to their place beside Lucien’s half brother, Eris.

The christening is fairly short and sweet, the Rector saying the respective prayers followed by Cassian, Nesta, and Eris repeating back the promises as godparents. The water is poured over baby Ash’s head, the candle lit and presented in his honor, and then the ceremony is ending. Afterwards, everyone is invited back to Helion’s grand estate to further celebrate, the lavish ballroom decked out, a large feast and music awaiting them.

Cassian presses a kiss to Nesta’s temple and walks across the ballroom to the refreshment table, leaving her in the very capable hands of Azriel. He finds Feyre standing there as well, and he offers her a small nod of acknowledgement as he grabs a glass for himself and one for Nesta.

“Feyre, darling,” Rhys greets, stepping over to them. “Might I have a dance with you today?”

“No, you may not,” Feyre tells him, turning away from him and taking a sip of her drink.

It takes all of Cassian’s willpower to swallow back down his laughter, and what chuckles do break free, he tries to cover up with a cough. Despite his best attempts at hiding his amusement, Rhys still knocks his shoulder against his as he stalks away. It’s only when the Duke is finally out of earshot that Cassian turns a pointed look back at Feyre, at the small, victorious smile gracing her lips.

“When are you finally going to put him out of his misery?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Feyre tells him, tossing her braid back over her shoulder. “When are you going to host me for a visit in Glasgow?”

Cassian shakes his head at the subject change, but acquiesces all the same. “You know you’re always welcome. I’m sure Nes would appreciate it if you came and stayed.”

“Yes, I’m sure Nes would. Now if only she could allow anyone other than you calling her that.”

With a fond roll of her eyes, Feyre takes her drink and walks away, leaving just Cassian by the refreshment tables. His gaze sweeps across the ballroom until he finds who he’s looking for, Nesta now standing with Elain. She has Ash cradled in her arms, smiling softly down at him while the little boy clutches her finger in his hand.

Light music and chatter fills the space around him, but it all fades away to nothing. In that moment, Cassian can see it so clearly. Rather than a shock of red hair, it’s a head of dark curls like his. It’s a pair of stormy blue eyes. It’s a red MacLeod tartan that the baby is swaddled in. It’s the sound of bare feet running and light laughter filling the halls of the manor. It’s finding her curled up in her favorite library chair, reading bedtime stories. It’s going to sleep holding the only woman he’s ever loved and waking up to her sleepy smiles and a soft kiss for the rest of his life.

It’s everything he’s ever wanted, everything he’s ever dreamed about. But it’s not a dream. It’s a very real glimpse into a very real future, and Cassian isn’t sure how he’s even still breathing around the way his heart has swelled between his ribs, around the happiness that’s so firmly taken up root there. He can’t stop staring, can’t stop smiling, can’t stop the love that crashes and floods through his veins and leaves him breathless.

Who knew he’d be so happy to have ruined a wedding?

Baby, I didn’t say my vows. So glad you were around when they said ‘Speak now’

End spoilers/notes: Listen, were Elain and Lucien courting before The Wedding(tm)? Did Elain go running to Lucien after The Wedding(tm), raging about what Cassian did and how she's ruined now too? Crying about how what respectable gentleman would marry her now? Did she then decide to throw caution to the wind and demand Lucien kiss her because what did it matter now anyway if she was already ruined? Did that evening end with more than just a kiss? Did that lead to Elain being with child and Lucien being actually ecstatic because he's been trying to ask Elain to marry him this whole time? Who's to say ;) Also, will Rhysand volunteer himself to accompany Feyre on her journey to Glasgow to stay with her sister so she doesn't have to make the journey alone? Will that lead to his idiot self pining and many shenanigans? Who's to SAY ;)

—

Updated Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added): @moodymelanist @nesquik-arccheron @sv0430 @talkfantasytome @bookstantrash @eirini-thaleia @ubigaia @fromthelibraryofemilyj @luivagr-blog @lifeisntafantasy @superspiritfestival @hiimheresworld @marigold-morelli @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @dongjunma @glowing-stick-generation @melonsfantasyworld​ @isterofimias @goddess-aelin @melphss @theladystardust @a-trifling-matter @blueunoias @kookskoocie @wolfnesta @blurredlamplight @hereforthenessian @skaixo @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @ofduskanddreams @rarephloxes @thelovelymadone @girl-of-many-floods @tenaciousdiplomatloverprune @that-little-red-head

[pers-books]

The Observer Peter Capaldi

‘The government has been too terrible to make fun of’: Peter Capaldi on satire, politics and privilege

📷 ‘I’ve had to pretend to be more amenable’: Peter Capaldi wears blazer by oliverspencer.co.uk; shirt by toa.st. Photograph: Simon Emmett/The Observer

Tom Lamont Sun 14 Jan 2024 08.00 GMT

One winter morning, a Doctor Who comes calling. The Glaswegian actor Peter Capaldi lives about an hour’s walk from me and instead of us meeting in some midway café, the 65-year-old wanders over (leather booted, woolly jumpered, cloaked in a dark winter coat that sets off his pale-grey hair) to have coffee at my kitchen table. My son is off school with flu, medicating on Marvel movies and barely able to believe his luck as the actorly embodiment of an alien superhero wanders through our flat. While we’re waiting for the kettle to boil, I ask Capaldi whether he ran into any other Doctor Whos on his walk through the actorland that is suburban north London.

He grins an unguarded grin you don’t often see on screen. Capaldi became famous as the permanently angry spin doctor Malcolm Tucker in the BBC comedy The Thick of It, which ran from 2005 to 2012 and, after that, between 2013 and 2017, he played the sternest, least imp-ish Doctor Who in decades. In his new Apple TV show, a police procedural called Criminal Record, which Capaldi co-produced with his wife, Elaine Collins, he stars as an ageing detective: another scowler. Now, coffee in hand, he smiles affectionately. So, did he bump into any other Doctor Whos this morning? “David [Tennant, 10th Doctor] used to live in Crouch End, near me. Matt [Smith, 11th Doctor] lives around here. Jodie [Whittaker, 13th Doctor] is nearby, Christopher [Eccleston, 9th Doctor] too, I think.” But no, no encounters with his fellow alumni this morning, Capaldi says.

📷 ‘You can’t be the cynical melancholic I naturally am’: Peter Capaldi wears coat by Mr P (mrporter.com); jumper by uniqlo.com; trousers by reiss.com; and shoes by johnlobb.com. Photograph: Simon Emmett/The Observer

“You do run into each other. You have a laugh, a gossip, you share. There aren’t a lot of people who have been in that role in the centre of that storm. Most people think the job is being on the Tardis and running around with Daleks. Which it is. That’s the fun part. But there’s a lot of other stuff you have to do, too. You’re kind of the face of the brand and the brand is very big. You can’t be the cynical melancholic I naturally am. You have to pretend to be a version of yourself that’s far more amenable.”

Is it a bit like being the Queen?

“Kind of,” he says. “You embody for a time this folk hero, this icon. I was able to comfort people in a way that would be beyond the powers of Peter. You could walk into a room and people gasped with delight. It doesn’t happen any more.”

Capaldi grew up in 1960s and 1970s Glasgow. His Italian-Scottish family lived in a tenement block. “We had nothing. We had zilch.” From a young age he exhibited signs of artistic talent, though he characterises himself, then and now, as a seven- or eight-out-of-10 at various crafts. “When I was young, I was good at drawing. My grandmother used to say that came from Italy. She felt that I was an absolute throwback to Leonardo da Vinci – her direct line to Michelangelo! It confused me because I wanted to do these other things, play music, act – which one was I supposed to do?”

📷 Great Scot: Peter Capaldi wears blazer by ralphlauren.co.uk. Photograph: Simon Emmett/The Observer

After graduating school at 18, this confused cross-artistic trajectory continued. “I tried to be an actor, but I didn’t get into drama school, so I went to art school. When I was at art school, I joined a band.” In his early 20s, Capaldi released a single as part of a group called Dreamboys; then he quit music and spent most of his 20s acting, getting small jobs in theatre and TV as well as a walk-on part opposite John Malkovich in 1988’s Dangerous Liaisons. In his 30s, he decided to concentrate on directing.

In 1993, a short film he directed, Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life, won him an Oscar, industry recognition that launched Capaldi off on a heady but doomed sojourn in America. Well caffeinated and gripping the edge of my kitchen table to tell the story, he recalls what happened when he was courted as a hot prospect by the Weinstein brothers, Bob and Harvey, then the co-presidents of Miramax and at the height of their power and influence. Capaldi spent a year working on a screenplay for them, at the end of which Bob flew him out to Manhattan to discuss casting and production. As far as Capaldi was concerned it was a formality; bottles of champagne were cooling at home.“I thought I was off and away.”

📷 Feel the heat: in The Thick of it. Photograph: Everett Collection/Alamy

Miramax sent a limo to pick him up from the airport. “I fell into conversation with the driver, lovely man, Ralph. When I got out of the car I gave him a big tip. Because I was a big shot now, you see. Then Ralph said: ‘I’ve been told to wait for you here.’” Uh oh. “Inside, all the people in the office were avoiding my eye. Bob said, ‘I’ll come straight to it, we’re not gonna do the movie, my brother Harvey says he doesn’t know how to sell it.’ He said, ‘But we love you! You’re one of the family! You’ll always have a place here!’ Needless to say, I never heard from him again. Obviously, while I was in the air they’d had a discussion and changed their minds. I was so dumbfounded as I climbed back into the limo I just laughed. I had no money, because we’d bought a little house in Crouch End, and I had no career, because I’d turned my back on acting.”

In a gesture that Capaldi has never forgotten, Ralph the limo driver tried to give him back his big tip.

As we chat, the postman rings the bell, delivering packages. Council tree surgeons are working on the road outside. My son needs water, words of comfort, possibly he just wants another good long look at Capaldi. I’ve never interviewed anyone in my own home before and the limitations of the format are becoming apparent. But Capaldi seems to respond well to the setting and its lack of frills. His adult daughter and her family have been visiting, brand new baby in tow. When I apologise for all the noise and interruptions, Capaldi says it’s nothing compared to a newborn.

📷 Fun fact: in Paddington 2. Photograph: Supplied by LMK

He and Collins were young parents themselves when his directing career fell apart. Arriving back in London from the disastrous Manhattan trip, “The initial feeling was shock. Then a pragmatic survival instinct kicked in.” Capaldi rejoined the auditioning circuit. “I was a psychiatrist in Midsomer Murders. I was a beekeeper in Poirot – AN Other Actor. Someone else would have turned down these parts first.” Collins, until that point an actor, too, decided to pivot into development and production, a career move that has worked well for her.

Artists often do their best work while they’re at their lowest, perhaps because they feel they haven’t much to lose, little to be afraid of. Sloping into a Soho audition room in the mid-2000s to meet Armando Iannucci about a new political comedy, Capaldi remembers being in a foul mood. He’d just come from an unsuccessful audition for another BBC show, “being taped like I was Vivien Leigh reading for Scarlett O’Hara”. He remained grumpy when Iannucci admitted there wasn’t yet a script for The Thick of It, they were going to try improvising instead. “I knew Armando was supposed to be a comedy genius, but at that moment I was, like, ‘Yeah? Let’s see some of your comedy genius then. Fucking show me what you’ve got, you Oxbridge twat.’ My whole attitude that day was essentially Malcolm Tucker’s, and it informed the improvisation we did.”

📷 Folk Hero: in his new series Criminal Record. Photograph: Ben Meadows/Apple

When The Thick of It debuted, Capaldi entered the sitcom pantheon overnight. Revisiting episode one, what’s glaring is how fully formed, how exquisite a character Tucker is. Alan Partridge, Samantha Jones, Frasier Crane, David Brent … these creations had to be discovered over time by their actors and writers. With Tucker it’s all there from word one, the controlled fury, the foul-mouthed eloquence, that constant convenient deployment of hypocrisy. Capaldi played the part for seven years, winning a Bafta mid-run. It led to other memorable gigs, as a news producer in 2012’s The Hour and as Count Richelieu in a 2014 adaptation of the Musketeers story. He was Mister Micawber in Iannucci’s 2019 reimagining of David Copperfield, a fun role that was bookended by two equally fun Paddington movies, released in 2014 and 2017.

Promoting these projects, Capaldi would be asked to give a view on political events of the day, as seen through the eyes of the character who made his career. What would Malcolm Tucker think of Brexit, or the pandemic response, or the premierships of Johnson or Truss? Capaldi long ago stopped answering these questions. “For one thing, I need about 10 writers, Tony Roach and Jesse Armstrong among them, to supply Malcolm’s bon mots. But more than that, I think these [recent Conservative] governments have been too terrible to make fun of. I think they’ve been incompetent and corrupt and I’m not going to make jokes to give them time off.”

📷 ‘You’re the face of the brand and the brand is very big’: playing Doctor Who. Photograph: Everett Collection Inc/Alamy

We talk about how weird it is that political satire should have fallen into abeyance in the 2020s – perhaps because, as Capaldi says, “things have been too bad to make fun of. Making fun normalises situations I don’t think should be normalised. The planet is burning. They’re pumping shit into the rivers. I’m not gonna be part of making jokes about that… All this highfalutin life I’ve had,” he says, of the awards parties, the film roles, the immortal runs as a sweary spin doctor and an inscrutable Doctor Who, “is because I went to art school. My parents couldn’t afford to send me. I went because the government of the day paid for me to go and I didn’t have to pay them back. There was a thrusting society then, a society that tried to improve itself. Yes, of course, it cost money. But so what? It allowed people from any kind of background to learn about Shakespeare, or Vermeer, or whatever they wanted to learn about. Why did we lose this, this belief in ourselves?”

For Capaldi, the world of acting feels narrower now, meaner in a way that seems to mirror British society at large. He thinks of his industry as one in which subtle discriminations hold sway and “gatekeepers and Aztecs still decree who shall be admitted… I think there’s a real problem. There isn’t the funding or support for young people from poorer backgrounds to get into the theatre. And indeed there aren’t the theatres.” He wonders about the teenage Anthony Hopkinses out there, talented, without the obvious means or encouragement to train in the arts. And the inverse, actors who Capaldi, in his frank and acid way, characterises as privileged duds.

📷 Shared vision: with his wife and co-producer Elaine. Photograph: Trinity Mirror/Mirrorpix/Alamy

“This business is full of people who are not the real thing,” he says, “people I perceived to be artists ’cos they had posh accents, but who didn’t have it, they just sounded like they did.” He goes on to tell a tantalising but intentionally vague story about a major star he worked with, someone who revealed themselves through the course of an acting collaboration to be a dud hiding in plain sight. He won’t provide details (“Too easy to figure out. When everyone’s dead I’ll tell you”), but he says the experience changed him professionally, leaving him more aware of his own limitations, but grateful to have a little vinegar and grit in the mix. “There’s a kind of smoothness, a kind of confidence that comes from a good [paid-for] school. That’s what you’re struck by: they seem to know how to move through the world recognising which battle to fight, where to press their attentions. But it can make the acting smooth, which to me is tedious. I like more neurosis. More fear. More trouble, you know?”

I think this part of his skillset expressed itself well during the three-season run on Doctor Who, when Capaldi was prepared to come across as remote, a little unreachable. “I don’t set out to make the audience like me,” he says. “Because my characters don’t know an audience is there.” For me, his high point as the Doctor was an episode called Heaven’s Gate, a chronology-stretching tale written by Steven Moffatt in which the Doctor is set a sisyphean task of endurance that lasts about 50 minutes or so in screen time and several millennia in narrative terms. Capaldi didn’t play it as a hero. He wasn’t charming or boyish. In this episode especially, he was grim and patient and knackered. It was a rare occasion when the character, apparently alive for hundreds of years, seemed old.

📷 Burning bright: with John Malkovich in Dangerous Liaisons. Photograph: Everett Collection/Alamy

In the new TV show, Criminal Record, he explores a more mortal kind of ageing, life’s third act, its inevitable professional humblings. Capaldi plays a London DCI in his 60s, coming to the end of a career, already moonlighting as a private security contractor, intimidated by the thrust and purpose of a younger colleague at the Met played by Cush Jumbo. As Jumbo’s character grows in confidence, Capaldi’s shrinks. It is a paradox of experience he can relate to. “I find the older I get, the closer I am to who I was,” he says.

I ask him to explain.

“Like I’m returning to… ‘roots’ is the wrong word. I feel more and more like my mother and father, more and more keenly aware of the values they had.” He provides an interesting example, how he has become all thumbs around the act of tipping in restaurants: “I can be in a complete sweat about that.” He can imagine his parents, both dead now, in a similar muddle. “From the background we come from, you can have a bit of anxiety about coming across as grand. So you have to allay that by making sure you are communicating with everybody, all the time.”

Capaldi shakes his head, chuckling softly. He has finished his coffee. He’s about to put on his big coat, say goodbye to my son, and walk back through Whoville to his home and his family. Before he leaves we return to the subject of actors from privileged backgrounds. He says he feels mean, like he took unfair advantage of them in their absence. “It’s not their fault,” he says. “It’s just that there’s less and less of my lot in the arts.” And this concerns him, he continues, because “people of all backgrounds are sophisticated, are interesting, are equally prone to tragedy and joy. Any art that articulates that is a comfort. Art is the ultimate expression of you are not alone, wherever you are, whatever situation you are in. Art is about reaching out. So I think it’s wrong to allow one strata of society to have the most access.”

He nods, feeling he’s expressed himself better. I agree.

Criminal Record is streaming now on Apple TV+, with new episodes every Wednesday

Fashion editor Helen Seamons; Grooming by Kenneth Soh at The Wall Group using Eighth Day; fashion assistant Sam Deaman; photography assistants Tom Frimley and Tilly Pearson; shot at Loft Studio.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Please tell me more about Rarrydraft w prongsfoot!! Two sets of best friends - that can only be good ❤️

Thanks for asking! 🩷 I had completely forgotten I even started this. It's about Harry pining for Ron and finding Sirius's diary when cleaning up Grimmauld Place for Ron to move in with him.

I'll share a couple of snippets, maybe it'll motivate me to finish one of these days.

“I’m a patient guy,” Ron said. “I mean, you’d call me patient, right? When Hermione left right after the war to get her parents from Australia I waited patiently, didn’t I? In fact, I wanted to join her! Hermione, I said, we’re partners now, you don’t need to do this on your own. But no, she HAD to go off on her own.” Harry grabbed the nicest of his two bottles of Firewhiskey and climbed onto the counter to get the magickly charmed whiskey glasses from the back of the cabinet. At some point he’d owned six Charm-Chilled glasses, but after summoning them one time too many he only had too left – something about the pure rage in Ron’s voice made him decide this wasn’t the time to risk them. “And then after she finally finished at Hogwarts,” Ron continued when Harry focussed back on his voice, “I thought, this is it – now we start our lives together for real. But of course, then she decided she had to get that bachelor’s degree. And I offered to upend everything and come to Glasgow with her, because the only thing I really wanted was to bloody be with her.” Harry poured the Firewhiskey and handed Ron his glass, but he was too busy talking to take a single sip. “But it was all noo Ron,” Ron twisted his face and voice into a mocking imitation of his girlfriend, ”you’ve got to stay here. Your family needs you, Fred needs you at the shop. Harry needs you.” Harry winced at that, the idea that Ron might have stayed behind for him. “Of course,” Ron said, “now I find out the real reason.” In a single breath Ron seemed to deflate in front of Harry’s eyes, his shoulders sagging and his eyes turning worn and sad instead of fiery. Harry grabbed him by the elbow and directed him to the living room, carrying the bottle of Firewhiskey and his glass in his free hand. He sat Ron down on the sofa, and this time he went willingly, staring morosely into his glass before draining it in a single swallow and holding out for Harry to refill it. “What’s happened?” Harry asked again, thinking this time he might get an answer. “She’s going back to Glasgow for her masters degree,” Ron said. “I thought when she got back this summer that we could finally start our lives together, but after just seven months of living with me she’s off again.” “Why don’t you go with her?” Harry asked, refusing to acknowledge how much the idea hurt. “That’s what I suggested,” Ron said. “I mean, everyone’s got their own thing now – nobody really needs me to stay anymore.” Harry thought briefly and wildly, I do, but bit down the urge to speak.

And the diary

Diary of Sirius Black. July 1st, 1979. So, James and I moved into our flat today, and I figured it was a good day to start using this bloody diary Remus got me. I know, I know, I’m a dude I should insist it’s a journal, but sometimes it’s just nice to call a wand a wand, you know? I figure Remus thought I should have someplace to put my thoughts, because although I’m almost sure he has no idea what’s rolling around inside my head he does know there’s a lot in here I don’t talk about. Speaking of, I should ward this book if I’m going to write down all the things I refuse to say out loud. If James ever read it… OK, I’ve warded it. So we’re safe. I can write anything here now, but honestly I’m not sure I want to. Maybe seeing it in black and white will be too real? How about I tell you another secret? My childhood was… pretty terrible. They never did anything physical, but I’m starting to believe James when he says that doesn’t make it ok. It was alright, I suppose, until I sorted Gryffindor. At some level they must have known it was going to happen, but I still managed to make them ‘shocked and appalled’ as they said. I stuck with it for another five summers before I ran off and moved in with James’ family. That’s not the secret. The secret isn’t that living with James’ family felt more like a home than Grimmauld ever had either, though it did. It was brilliant, his mum kept hugging me and even though it took me ages to just relax and enjoy it she never gave up. They’re brilliant. Or they were brilliant, fuck I still can’t believe they’re gone… Anyway, I was talking about my secret. The real reason I finally couldn’t stay with my own parents anymore. The thing is, they found out, and I don’t think either of us could survive being in the same house after that. They couldn’t stand me, and I couldn’t stand being so thoroughly hated for every part of me. Maybe Mr and Mrs Potter wouldn’t have minded if they knew, but I was never willing to risk it. I suppose it’s the same with James. He might be fine with it, it might not change a thing except make us closer – but there’s always the chance it’ll ruin everything. The thing is, I’m queer. Shocker, right? Not really, I know. Feels obvious to me, but I think the only one who’s ever come close to suspecting it is Remus.

[mikhailwrites]

Waiting for Connection 8 / Ghost x Soap NerdAU

Ghost is retired and plays milsim videogame. Soap is still in the force and sometimes plays that same videogame...

This is a bit of a mid-chapter, there will be a full chapter today as well - Soap and Ghost finally meeting face to face - but this was just... way too fun to write not to share.

Previous chapter | AO3

“Sooo,” Gary drags the chair closer, causing it to screech on the floor, earning several annoyed grunts from the other soldiers in the rec room. Soap looks up from his sketchbook, eyebrow questioningly raised. “Gonna confess, or do I have to work for it?”

“What are you on about, Roach?” Soap puts the sketchbook down before reaching for the mug on the table. He takes a sip, grimacing at the taste of the coffee.

“Ghost,” Roach clarifies.

Soap sighs; he should’ve seen this coming. “What about him?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gary stares at him in disbelief, “how about you being totally smitten with him? Or the fact that he seems to be equally smitten with you?”

“What the hell? What are you talking about?” Soap straightens, brows knitted together and posture clearly defensive.

“Mate…,” Gary shakes his head. “Alright. Let’s not address your obvious crush on a man you’ve never even seen.”

“Gonna see him on Saturday,” Soap says and belatedly realises he just gave Roach a bloody bazooka.

Gary stares at him for a second, wide-eyed, before his face blooms into a shit-eating grin. “Are you, now?”

Soap runs a hand through his mohawk. Well, in for a penny and all that, he thinks. “Aye. It’s along the way to Glasgow. We’re just going to grab a pint or two, and I’ll be on my way.” He doesn’t mention that he usually takes a plane to Glasgow. He is actually going out of his way to see Ghost. But Roach definitely doesn’t need to know that.

“John…,” Gary leans to John, suddenly much more serious, “when was the last time you had friends outside the military?”

“He’s ex-military,” Soap objects.

“Answer the question, Sergeant,” Roach presses on.

Soap squirms a little, gaze dropping on the table. “Before I enlisted.”

“I’m not trying to talk you out of it, mate, just… be careful, alright?”

“I’m SAS, Roach,” Soap says a little defensively. He doesn’t need Roach to babysit him.

“I’m not talking about your physical safety. Anyway… we should also talk about that callsign of his.”

“It’s just a nickname for the game,” Soap shrugs.

“Jesus wept… remind me never to let you have my six again! You would probably shoot me in the back yourself, what with how daft you are! Look, I’ve spent one evening playing a stupid game with him to see that he owns that callsign. So either he’s a pretentious prick who took a callsign of only one of the fucking legends of SAS, or…,” Roach trails off, gesturing for Soap to draw his own conclusions.

“Yer not serious… he’s not…,” Soap shakes his head, “he can’t be…,” then he looks up at Garry with something akin to panic in his eyes. “Can he?”

Lieutenant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick was enjoying his book in the rec room in peace. Until he heard a single word uttered that dragged his attention from the words on the paper to words spoken not far from him. That word being, of course, Ghost.

Gaz doesn’t want to eavesdrop on his men, but it’s hard to let go once the callsign registers. And so he listens, and the more he hears, the harder it is to keep quiet and low-key. When Ghost asked to meet, Kyle knew something was up, especially since he was willing to come to London.

At first, Gaz thought it was just Ghost being paranoid and overly cautious about someone he had spent more than ten minutes with, which was pretty normal for Ghost. But the glint in his eyes when Gaz confirmed Soap is SAS? The momentary panic when Gaz implied Ghost likes Soap? Knowing what he knows now, Gaz can barely keep his face straight. Oh, this is going to be so much fun.

When John pauses to think whether Ghost can really be The Ghost, Kyle gets up and leaves the room. Gaz is really proud of himself because he manages to get all the way outside the building before he breaks into laughter. A bunch of recruits and some lower officers look at him with some bewilderment before scurrying away.

[happyheidi]

Attention citizens of Scotland!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Guess who’s coming to your fair country in May? THIS GIRL (and her momma!) we’ve been talking about it for like 5+ years and the reason for the visit is studying our ancestry. My great grandmother was a MacMillan. And we have lots of cool info but need more, so I can’t wait! This is in Glasgow btw. Near the train station. From May 7th - 14th. So a week 😃

I’m gonna have some tattoos done there (as I always do when I’m traveling). Anyone have a shop to recommend? I’ve checked it out i and it seems like there’s a lot of good places! How’s the price? Just gonna take some small ones.

And anything else? Wanna meet us for dinner? Take a tattoo together? Haha idk 🤷‍♀️ anything cool we should do there? I’d love to get some inside Scottish “scoop” from y’all 😄

*we’re not going to Edinburgh btw

[foxes-that-run]

2013 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag, or years, 2012 2014

3 January hair pinned up at restaurant in Virgin Islands. Harry's "might as well.." Tattoo first seen. Covered with Ferns now.

4 January - Taylor's blue dress on a boat. Harry bite bruise on his hip

6 January - Harry seen in NY

7 January -Harry back in London, date People reports that they broke up. Reports Scott swift told them to slow down.

9 January - Harry seen GQ dinner London. photos of Harry in Richard Bransons hot hub on front page after the break up. (I often wonder what the less famous people think now that they treated him poorly as a kid and he is massive now). Gordon Smart (1:12, warning he follows it with a bad anecdote about 18 year old H), who worked on media for One Direction, said in 2020 that Harry had said:

"Simon Cowell actually paid me to do some media training with them back in the day so I met them before they were massive and they were again really lovely kids. [...] I wrote a front page story about him sharing a jacuzzi with a girl on holiday and he told me it was bollocks and we still ran it, because we had a picture of him in the jacuzzi. It was probably totally innocuous and I really I'd like to apologize unreservedly to Harry for that because it was an error of judgment on my part and it probably tarnished our friendship."

Richard Branson also has gross sounding comments about this 18 year old that day.

10 January - made fun of his accent at Grammy's, Harry at nightclub London

12 January when asked, Niall says he listens to WANGBT, Louis says and Harry’s. 22 MV filmed.

15 January - one direction trip to Ghana for Red Nose Day comic relief

16 January - One Direction Tokyo, when movie scenes filmed

20 January - Harry in London

21 January - Taylor in London reports she saw Harry, Harry at friends house

22 January - Harry got the Butterfly and handshake tattoos

23 January - Taylor in Madrid before performing at the '40 Principales Awards'. H London

26 January Both at NRG Awards, 25 January Taylor posts Cannes Sunset situation. They both stayed in the Intercontinental Carlton Cannes Hotel.

27 January - Harry meeting with Simon Cowell Glasgow,

28, 30, 31 Jan, 1, 2, 4 , 8 Feb - Harry London, Leed 13 -16

1 February - Harry's 19th birthday. £5k tab, messy, wild party. Rumour that Taylor had booked a week in Italy which was cancelled

6 February - Savan Kotecha (WMYB writer) gave interview where he said 1D want to be write but can’t. Probably had left 1D already and doing press to build career. His last 1D credit is Happily. In 2017 praised (45 mins) Harry’s writing. In the later interview Savan also says he spent a year being sad after the 1D thing ended until Ariana came into work with him, (52mins) so that article may have been that he’d already left 1D. He said he was working on Emblem3 which may be the other bad project he talked about (released April).

10 February - Taylor at Grammy's, night Ed says inspired Tenerife Sea

18 February - Harry the Box Nightclub

19 February - Harry “I’m ok, thank you for asking. I’m good. She’s a great performer and she always performs great. She’s always good on the stage. She’s been doing it a long time. She knows what she’s doing on stage. It was just another good Taylor Swift performance. I understand why people would wanna know stuff like that. I get it. If someone does stuff like that then I wanna know about it, too. It is what it is, I guess.”

21 February - both attend Brit awards - Taylor performs I knew you were trouble with Harry in the audience. In march she told the Sunday Times "Well, it's not hard to access that emotion when the person the song is directed at is standing by the side of the stage watching." She goes to an afterparty with Tom Odell and out with him the next night. Tom writes Country Star about Taylor and Harry wrote Happily about wishing they were together. Ed is asked if he would trust Harry around his girlfriend and he said “well he trusts me around his girlfriend so yeah I do. We’re friends we don’t do that.” Harry went on Nick Grimshaw from 6am a hungover.

23 February - 3 November - 1D Up all Night tour, start in Europe

7 March - Taylor sells Hyannis Point House at $1m profit

15 March - Taylor vanity fair article. Says Harry pursued her for a year before KCA, better part of a year after and it fell apart one night in London when he went out and he’s texting her to ask to see her again at the time of the interview. Pointed mentioned she was born in 1989, Easter egged wonderland, talks about Connor being 2 months and insignificant. Implies Harry was a rebound from JG and Connor was a Harry rebound. Says she’s looking for someone who is interested in her not her wiki page.

25 - 29 March - Harry in LA, then back to London. He was photographed hanging out with his friends Cal Aurand and Jen Kelly in Malibu. Taylor performed in South Carolina on March 23 and in New Jersey on March 27, as part of her RED tour. She was photographed arriving in New York on March 26. She was MIA for the two previous days; she flew by private jet to either Los Angeles or Nashville. It’s possible that Harry and Taylor met in Los Angeles on March 24 or 25. On the 25th, Harry tweeted lyrics to ‘Fire and Rain’ by James Taylor. (Begin again)

29 March - Taylor played “You're Not Sorry” in Newark. “I truly believe that when dealing with anybody you meet, you should start by trusting them. Any new friend you meet. Any new person you meet. I think you should truly believe the beat in them. And the first time that they tell you they’re sorry I think you should believe them. But then if they keep doing the same exact thing that they say they’re sorry for, that means one thing guys. That they’re not. Sorry.”- here. Appeared in Wonderland cover April 7, 2013

11 April - Louis says 'Taylor Swift' after Harry sings "I'm in love with you" in Little Things

12 April - Harry’s high school friend, Nick who was in White Eskimo says he liked Taylor since he was 15 before x-factor to the Mirror

Nick has known the One Direction star for years, and recalled the moment Harry (then just 15) admitted fancying country singer Taylor Swift when he watched one of her videos in 2009. Nick said: “He was like ‘Oh my god, she’s really, really good looking. I would do anything for a bit of that.’ Then he went and got with her years later!”

13 April - Harry tweeted “I really like that song 'Dumb' by @lamtich. Just heard it again” a song about regretting breaking up with someone.

18 April - Harry holmes chapel

20 April - TS on B stage song before “I Almost Do” in Tampa, FL. “everybody’s got like one, maybe two, I don't know how many you have, but at least one person in your life that doesn’t belong in your life anymore because maybe they hurt you or maybe it’s just over but you kind of want to call them sometimes. And you think better of it. But, you almost do it.”- here. Then a Red tour break till the 25th; One Direction tour break starting in Manchester till Paris on 29th. Louis stays in Europe,

23 April - Harry arrives alone in LA without the Peace ring

24 April - Neither Harry or Taylor seen. The day Harry got the ring

25 April - First day Peace Ring is seen. Harry has dinner with Rod Stewart, Rod then plays the Troubadour and Harry stayed at Rod Stewarts house. Taylor in Cleveland

28 April - Harry posts photo of sunglasses on beach. Taylor photographed in a gym in Los Angles. Wears the ring to leave LAX and there is an absolutely insane mob because he is there alone with no security.

29 April - Arrives in Paris alone, still wearing ring, described as a riot. The ring is in This is Us in Paris

April 30 - Taylor buys Holiday House Rhode Island for $18m cash

1 May - Everything has changed released as single

7 May - Harry goes on a party bus in Norway, photos of him drunk, with blonde and talks about party bus in interviews

18 May - Taylor posted rose’s with a Great Gatsby quote: “Just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer...“

19 May - Taylor said to fans, pointly "You are the longest and best relationship I've ever had" at BBMAs and that she only writes about ex's she doesn't want to see again. In the press room she said

27 May - Taylor wrote Wish you Would

2 June - Taylor attended a pre-show meet and greet at KYGO radio in Denver where David Mueller allegedly reached under Taylors skirt. In 2015 he sued Taylor who counter sued. It was not resolved until 2017 when Taylor won damages of $1.

June - September Midnight Memories written with Happily

12 June Taylor on Grimmy, he says Trouble is the “best song ever” 4 times at 11 mins. Best song ever was released 22 July. :)

13 June - Never Gonna Dance Again tattoo seen when Harry got off a yacht in Miami, seemingly drunk, he was underage at the time lyrics from Wham song "Careless Whisper" about regret for being unfaithful. Grimmy had referred to it in September when Harry sung the song on radio

16 June 2013 - Louisville - Harry was feeling himself during “Last First Kiss” and at the end was flirting with someone in the crowd, he mimicked pole dancing then he kissed his heart tattoo

22 June - Taylor and Selena getting ice cream in Mystic Connecticut, near RI.

28 June - Harry seen with Paige

29 June - Taylor gets a fans face paint on her neck that looks like lipstick in Vancouver, Gaylor 'proof'. 1D NY

1 July - Harry cross tattoo NYC stayed at the Bowery Hotel NYC

6 July - both play in Pennsylvania, Taylor has a week off after, unseen. On the 8th Harry was sick on stage.

20 July - Harry on Ryan Seacrest in Niall’s place and says the rest of the band went back to uk on their break but he stayed in LA.

22 July - Best Song Ever released.

30 July - September GQ cover story where they badgered Harry about how many people he’d slept with (two)

6 August - Ed posts photo with Harry and snow patrol “Decent night with the ladz”

August 14 - Lover Journal: August 14, 2013, Watch Hill RI. Says she feels like a tiger in an enclosure, feels hunted, talks about paparazzi and cell phones. Also calls herself a rabbit, a flower growing in a sidewalk that is picked and how photos ruin a moment, online photos/comments and 'level of possession'.

25 August - VMAs, texting each other and shade, together at afterparty. Sang purple rain together at after party.

3 September - Harry tweeted 1975, Matty Healy told an interviewer that went from 4K followers to 15k in 10 minutes and they exchanged numbers and texted, made plans to meet up and he stood Harry up.

5 September - the 1975 cover WMYB in the live lounge

8 September - Taylor “"People think they know who I've dated and they just don't," "They don't know everything."

9 September - Harry badgered by paparazzi till he cries in London. They called him a womaniser. GQ Article where the interviewer bullied him into how many partners he had has (2)

10 September - Media that they had a heart to heart at VMAs

11 September - Harry Rose tattoo.

18 September - Harry at Pixie Geldorf’s birthday, with Nick and first time seen with model Daisy Lowe in photo pixie posted.

27 September - 1D sign another contract with Syco for 3 albums, they are each paid £10m.

28 September: On the anniversary of the Begin Again weekend in Paris 28 September- 5 October 2012 Harry tweeted: "We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall". from Australia.

5 October - Harry pulled a blonde out of the crowd and hung out with her that night in Australia

8 October - Harry tweeted Shania Twain is so good. Shania thanks him and invites him to her show in Vegas.

16 October - Harry talked about Shania Twain 'Still the One' on stage, Tweet Q's - what song would you like to listen to now?

17 October Harry cried onstage, (0:55) during over again Taylor seen with Alexander Skarsgard 3 days later

18 October - throws up on stage reports touring taking toll

28 October - Harry talked about Shania Twain 'Still the One' on stage again, What's the most embarrassing song on your ipod.

1 November - 1D, Katy Perry and John Mayer take photos backstage at a Japanese radio station in Tokyo. New Romantics was written about Taylor being sad her ex had gone to Japan with his new GF.

November -j14 article where Harry says ok to get back together with ex. Also reports Taylor is house hunting in London. Rumour Taylor was seen with Douglas booth.

13 November - Taylors first Victoria Secret show where she wears a union jack dress in NY and performed IKYWT. On 14th Harry in UK for Gemma's graduation, TS in NY for billboard awards.

18 November - Courtney Cox said she hung out with each of them at her house in Malibu

20 November - Harry has dinner with Kendall Taylor tweets ""I've listened to "Hold On" by @ColbieCaillat 45 times today. So on repeat. So important." on the 21st when dinner reported.

22 November - midnights memories release party in la with Ryan Seacrest

23 November, both at AMAs, gold dress. Kendall PDA reported but no record of it

25 November - Midnight Memories released with Something Great written with Jacknife Lee who also worked on Red.

3 December - Lover Journal - December 3, 2013, Sydney.

6 December - Harry leaves Kendalls hotel and they have breakfast. Lunch the next day NY. Harry is carrying notebooks and dressed that same as in the Spotify visual for Where Do Broken Hearts Go. Tabloids say not dating Kendall and he is texting Daisy Lowe.

11 December- Taylor ATW speech talks about songwriting like a message in a bottle, she mentions still love you and I’m really heartbroken

12 December - One Direction in Milan, record the Xfactor final interview with cushions on the floor.

13 December - Taylor posts a series of photos to IG about a rose garden party in Melbourne, Australia while on tour for her birthday. Many think 1989 will be called Roses. The captions made a sort of poem "Roses. Red Balloons. Pretty.... Sparklers. The best birthday I've ever had." Which could be a dig at Harry, Roses being common Haylor imagery, his tattoo and she famously said her 2012 birthday was her best ever when he took her to the Lakes. Harry's "better still be my winding wheel" tweet. Harry posts his Cannes photo December 14.

15 December - One Direction performs Midnight Memories on Xfactor UK Final and Harry arrives at Kendalls London hotel at 2am.

17 December - Harry, Ed and Taylor spotted together in Suffolk. Harry got injunction banning paparazzi from outside his home. Harry likely had moved into his current house. First confirmed at Ben Winston's with Morgan Spurlock in April 2012, Harry later told Rolling Stone he stayed there 20 months. He was seen house hunting in July and reports of his house were September 2012.

21 December - midnight memories MV filmed

Continue to 2014

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: As told to Helen Puttick

Published: May 11, 2024

I have worked for 20 years with mental health patients in Scotland. Before the pandemic I saw only two people who were transitioning. Both were men who identified as women.

My caseload is small because my patients have complex problems. Over the past two and a half years, however, I have looked after nine female patients who wish to be men. Most are in their late teens to early twenties. Emotionally they are quite young.

They are in fact among the most vulnerable patients I have seen, often struggling with multiple mental health issues after difficult childhoods.

Dr Hilary Cass, who wrote the report on the Tavistock Gender Identity Development Service in England, addressed the Scottish parliament last week.

Just as she says, some of my patients are on the autistic spectrum, others have survived childhood trauma including neglect and sexual abuse. Among those transitioning are patients with eating disorders, patients using self-harm to cope and patients with borderline personality disorders who struggle with distress.

During our appointments some patients have described growing up without clean clothes or help with basic personal hygiene. They have talked about their poor social circumstances and being unable to afford the normal things most children have. They grew up feeling they were on the outside, ostracised by their parents and their peers.

They have endured all of this, pouring their energy into surviving at the cost of maturing. And then, with little idea of their own identity, they have found the camaraderie of a trans peer group and embraced the idea that they were born in the wrong body.

They now believe it is their body that is wrong and needs to change. This view has then been endorsed by the NHS, schools and even politicians. No one has said to them: “You are fine just the way you are. Let’s help you.”

I read all their psychiatric reports and psychological assessments, and I see little evidence that anyone has worked to help them to accept their bodies. Reference is made to anxiety, depression or trauma, alongside being referred to Scotland’s transgender clinics.

Professionals seem too frightened to question whether changing gender is what these patients really need.

These young people are at different stages in their transitions, but some are taking testosterone. The advice is clear that long-term use of cross-sex hormone treatment can cause infertility, even if the treatment is stopped.

These girls, robbed of their own childhoods, are at a young age potentially losing the chance of ever conceiving or carrying a baby themselves. It is upsetting thinking about their pasts and also what their future may hold.

Some of these patients say they will feel better when their breasts have been removed. That conviction can make it difficult for them to engage with therapy now. They believe their answers lie on the operating table.

My professional judgment is that changing gender will not improve their lives.

Some of these patients are on the autistic spectrum and could have a different perspective if they had been supported at school.

I worry that many will look back at the NHS in a few years and think: “What have you done to me? I have no breasts and I cannot have children. My life is wrecked just like my childhood was wrecked.” I feel I am seeing a medical scandal unfold before my eyes.

The Sandyford gender clinic in Glasgow is not a mental health service. A leak to The Daily Telegraph in 2022 suggested that patients were being offered irreversible treatments with only basic mental health assessments. Staff saw their main role as being to “get them on treatment”.

I am not saying no one should transition, just that the first line of treatment has to include asking and exploring why a person feels they are in the wrong body. Support should be considered in line with that. Helping people to accept the body they have should be fundamental, not taboo.

I have chosen to remain anonymous because otherwise I would be frightened of losing my job or being targeted by trans activists.

We could all say we are non-binary on the basis of gender stereotypes, because none of us fits them. Let us recognise that it is the stereotypes that are harmful here — and not cause further harm.

This is the view of a mental health professional in Scotland on her patients changing gender