#no the guy was very nice. but he was like ‘oh izzy this was a hard one.’ which i hear from at least 60% of drivers who deliver to my house..

[ghostzzy]

every day i make delivery drivers cry 💔😭

[unknownperson246]

a/n: Hi, I thought of a scenario where the reader is Steven's best friend in high school, but they don't see each other for years. One night, they meet again at a party or a bar, after the Guns concert. Steven soon introduces her to the other boys, and they all love her, but Izzy reacts differently; he's attracted to her. Later, everyone goes out for a drink, and the reader is left alone with Izzy. He intimidates her so much that, at one point, the reader says she's going to the bathroom. When she finishes and opens the door, Izzy pushes her back into the bathroom, declaring himself and saying how crazy he is about her. hiiii I hope you enjoy this (sorry it’s lateeee) 💋💋💋💋

Deceleration:

Words: 822

Warnings: *smut* *public bathroom sex* *p in v* *praise kink*

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ 

You were at a bar one night. It was crowded and you heard people go wild and insane for some band. You avoided getting stomped on and you tried to leave the suffocating place. You stopped in your tracks when you saw a familiar man with puffy blonde hair. He turned around. He was your best friend in high school. No, it can’t be you hesitated to say his name out loud in case it wasn’t him. 

“No fucking way. Steven Adler?” You yelled from across the bar.

He heard you from where you were and you locked eyes. He came over with half of his drink.

“I’m sorry, do I know you? You look oddly familiar.” He smiled politely. 

“It’s me Y/N from high school.” You said with a small smile. 

“Oh my god. Y/N.” He immediately hugged you. 

“How have you been? It’s been so long since we haven’t seen each other.” He ruffled your hair.

“Hey, I need to show you off to the boys you look sexy.” Steven complimented you. 

Steven dragged you to the boys. He started spinning you around to show your outfit off.

“This is my best friend from high school.” He said with an excited smile. 

“Y/N show them that amazing trick with the beer. The one you taught me.” He passed you a can of beer someone had hidden in their pocket.

You bit it open with your K-9s and started to slurp all the beer but not only that you chugged it all in under 2 minutes. 

“Wow.” Axl chuckled. 

They all loved you. You noticed in the background there was a man a part of Steven’s band but he wasn’t as talkative as the rest of them. He was quiet and he looked intimidating. He had jet-black hair and a beautiful nose. 

They all started to show you around the place and talk about what Guns N’ Roses has accomplished. They brought you back to a spot they reserved. It was a nice place. It was fancy since it was a VIP reservation. 

“Who wants more drinks?” Slash asked.

“I can go for one,” Steven said.

“I can go for more, I hope they have more vodka,” Duff said, fiddling with his sunglasses.

“I’m coming with you guys,” Axl said. 

You and this mysterious man named Izzy were left alone. You were uncomfortable because you thought he disliked you. You were scared because of his quietness. The truth is Izzy is just flustered by you and has feelings. They were just unspoken. The uncomfortable silence got too much to bear. 

“Hey, I’m going to the bathroom.” You let Izzy know and rushed out of there. 

When you finished you opened the door and Izzy was waiting out there like a creep. It was unexpected and you flinched.

“Fuck you scared me. Don’t do that you creep.” You looked very uncomfortable. 

Izzy grabbed your arm and he pulled you inside the bathroom. He shoved you against the wall. His lips against yours. His hand was pressing your shoulders and his other hand was holding your hip. 

“I can’t wait. I need to tell you now. I have loved you since the moment I saw you. You're beautiful. Your long locks of hair and your eyes make me go wild. Your body drives me crazy girl. Fuck me.” Izzy demanded. 

You put your purse on the ground and you started to go down on him. His declaration made you fall in love with him.  You started to kiss his neck and his lips. His big hands intertwined with yours. He took his jacket off and used it to tie you both together. 

“You mine honey. Remember that.” Izzy said with an intimate growl. 

His cock slipped into you so well. 

“Izzy.” you gasped.

The wall behind you supported your body as he thrust inside of you. You could feel how big he was inside of you and how fast he was going. You thought your pussy would fall off. You felt his lips and teeth grind into your soft skin. Your tits felt heavy with heat. You put Izzy’s hand on both of your pale breasts and started to make him squeeze and rub them.

“So tight, taking me like a good girl,” Izzy spoke as he kept thrusting.

“Keep going, honey.” You moaned as you held onto his back.

You felt his jacket that was tying you both together slip off your waist. You could feel his whole body now and you sighed in relief. 

“Izzy baby, you feel so good. Keep going.” You moaned, digging your nails into his back. 

“I should reward you for taking my cock inside of your small cunt like a good girl. You feel so tight.” Izzy finally came. 

You felt his warm seed coat your walls. 

Soon Axl, Duff, Steven, and Slash came back. You and Izzy acted like nothing happened. 

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ok so like i get where ppl are coming from with the “the crew loves izzy” takes but also like. ok. i think that take involves a certain amount of reading very deeply into the text to a degree that is almost reading against the text at some points. it’s like when ppl pour all this energy into an underdeveloped and unportant side character—none of those layers ppl add to the character are strictly contradicted by the text, but it clearly wasn’t what the writer intended for anyone to really focus on. and yeah, death of the author, just bc the writers didn’t intend for ppl to think abt something that hard or care about it that much doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to do whatever the fuck we want. but bc i love analyzing the shit out of this show i do want to talk about WHY i think the textual support for this headcanon isn’t rlly there.

first of all. when archie is like “why are we trying so hard to save this guy, he’s kinda a dick” and jim’s like “yeah but he’s our dick.” rather than elaborate on what makes izzy special to them they’re like “it used to be that the crew all had each other’s backs no matter what and things were better back then” while reminiscing fondly about 1. olu and 2. that shot from season 1 where the whole crew is hanging out except for izzy who’s sulking in the background hating everyone. if this was supposed to be an “izzy’s a dick but we love him anyway” moment i would expect jim to talk about. yknow. izzy. instead to me ot comes across more like an “izzy’s a dick but crew is crew, we stick up for each other even if we don’t particularly like each other bc it’s us against the world” which isn’t as impactful from an izzy stanning perspective but i think makes for, like, an interesting allegory abt the queer community. we all gotta defend the rights of ppl in our community even if those specific ppl are dicks and we don’t get along with them.

second of all. after they save izzy’s life and get caught by ed they all leave the room and then a few minutes later a gun goes off. maybe someone saw ed leave the room before the shot was fired, but either way they think either ed just killed izzy or izzy just killed himself. and then they DO NOTHING ABOUT THIS. nobody checks on the body. they put all this effort into saving izzy’s life and then when their efforts are foiled they do not seem that bummed out about it. the next scene with any crew member in it is frenchie talking to ed on deck, and ed is like “go take the day off” and frenchie is like “oh nice!” and he’s like, confused and a little concerned about ed suddenly steering the ship rlly erratically, but he also seems pretty excited about getting some time off (after so many raids in a row i would be too lol). and THEN!!! in the next scene where we get the whole crew, they’re crowded in the hallway that leads out to the deck and the conversation they have isn’t “oh my god i can’t believe ed killed izzy after we cut off izzy’s leg” it’s “maybe ed’s better now? maybe killing izzy was all it took? he seems pretty cheerful for the first time in ages, maybe ed’s okay?” like literally they think ed just killed izzy and they are more worried about ed’s emotional state than they are grieving a beloved shipmate

then in 2.04 the crew B plot is so blatantly “the crew struggles to trust each other again but after seeing izzy be incredibly sad and pathetic they remember that a good crew has each other’s backs no matter what and so they extend izzy some unearned kindness and make him a new leg” that i’m amazed that other interpretations even exist. like literally they’re all drawn away from screaming at each other with weapons drawn by izzy making some dramatic announcement and then falling and then drunkenly crawling away and refusing their help rambling “youre born alone you die alone” over and over again or whatever melodramatic bullshit he said. like he’s muttering abt being miserable and alone and there’s a WHOLE ROOM OF PEOPLE!!! standing RIGHT THERE!!!! like “oh hey man do you need help standing up? no? no ur just gonna crawl away? um. ok.” and then they all go “well at least we’re not as fucked up as that guy. maybe we should do something nice for him?” like they are literally almost explicitly motivated by pity, not fondness. which yeah, it’s probably fucked up the way they use izzy’s new disability to sort of emphasize how pathetic he’s being, but i think the intention there is not that izzy’s pathetic bc he’s disabled, he’s pathetic bc he’s refusing to accept help. like the crew doesn’t go “yikes 😬 at least we don’t have his issues” abt izzy falling down when his makeshift prosthetic breaks, they go “yikes 😬” when he bats away their hands and goes on a weird mumbling tirade. definitely not the most sensitive way to depict izzy in this mental state, but that’s a different post probably. for the sake of THIS post tho: the takeaway i got from this scene is that the crew is remembering how to be there for each other again. it’s easier for them to let go of their paranoia and stop being so defensive and distrustful when izzy is there as an example of what happens when you’re TOO defensive and distrustful. “the crew makes a leg for izzy bc they care about him on a personal level” did not seem to be the focus of that story arc. to me.

in 2.05 we get our first ever instance of a character expressing appreciation for something izzy said or did or some trait he expressed (except for stede that time in 1.06 when izzy backed stede up on wanting to do a fuckery, which he only did specifically bc he wanted stede to fucking die and ed was taking too long), and it’s lucius saying he loves the shark izzy whittled. but during the entire episode leading up to that scene izzy is either in syede’s storyline where he’s not engaging with the crew or he’s getting snarked at by lucius, and not in a fun teasing way. like during that whole bit where izzy steals his cigarettes and calls him “twatty” lucius just looks so fucking annoyed and then uncomfortable. and then at the end of the episode izzy is sort of offering him advice and lucius is just sarcastically like “that sounds healthy.” and within this storyline, the point of these scenes isn’t rlly abt the developing and deepening relationship btwn izzy and lucius, it’s abt lucius individually coping w his trauma. izzy in this episode kinda exists in a weird place in the narrative, where he plays a supporting role in two different characters’ (lucius’s and stede’s) storylines without getting a central arc for himself. and both of those two storylines are only really about lucius and stede respectively, izzy is just there as this a static character who imparts wise advice. which is a very weird role for him to take, imo, but on top of that it doesn’t rlly contribute any sense of like, actual bonding btwn izzy and the other two.

and in 2.06 they just enjoy the show izzy puts on. they like listening to him sing. it’s all very cute! but also. i would not say that it shows the crew really cares about izzy?? i was in pit orchestra in high school and all the lead theater kids were always fucking assholes but they were also rlly good singers and it was fun to listen to them. i would mouth along to the words being sung by bitches who seemed to be trying to be sharpay evans irl for some bizarre fucking reason. like, cartoonishly mean girls. so like, the crew listening and dancing to izzy’s song doesn’t rlly sell “the crew loves izzy” to me. if anything, i would say that actually a stronger indicator of the crew loving izzy would be wee john sharing his makeup, and it’s a shame that we don’t get to see this happen. i mean that genuinely, i think that would’ve been a great moment to rlly strengthen izzy’s arc and it just. doesn’t exist on screen. and this isn’t like the finale where we know for a fact that they had to force a 40-minute episode into 30 minutes, Calypso’s Birthday has a runtime WELL under 30 minutes. it would’ve been SO easy to add another like 45 seconds of izzy and wee john getting ready together, but the only moment they show us is izzy walking in and discovering drag for the first time. it feels like the focus of this scene is less about a moment of connection between two characters and more about izzy individually having a gender breakthrough—and that carries on with the rest of the performance, too. bc it’s a performance, it’s everyone looking at izzy, it’s izzy a half step away from the crew as he puts on a show. the narrative framing of all this puts the focus entirely on izzy as a solo act, not on izzy as part of the crew. they like his performance, but we aren’t rlly shown evidence of the crew liking him as a person.

and that’s kinda it for izzy and the crew! up until he’s actively dying in ed’s arms and they’re all in the background silently weeping, at least (and btw, speaking from experience but uhhhh it’s pretty normal to cry when u watch someone die even if u have literally no connection to the person dying). even when they’re helping him back to the ship, ed is the one who notices he’s injured, nobody notices until he’s already giving izzy support. and i fully believe roach flips off izzy’s grave marker with fondness, but that’s also like. the only little personal moment any of them aside from ed has during the funeral. they do all laugh at his pinocchio joke earlier in the ep but idk if that one line can carry the entire weight of “the crew loves izzy” on its own. apparently there’s some shots during the zheng v stede fight where izzy can be seen in the background close to jim and archie??? but like, you can’t tell me a background shot of izzy standing near some crew members is strong textual support for the crew loving him. and i don’t think i need to argue abt any scenes in s1 bc literally every single crew member who was on that boat, ivan and fang included, was about to fucking drown him in the fucking ocean.

there is one single scene that gives actual strong evidence that anyone other than ed likes or cares about izzy. it’s the part at the end of impossible birds when fang is crying after ed shot izzy. so maybe fang specifically loves izzy, even tho izzy used to pull fang’s beard a lot and fang didn’t like it bc it hurt. idk.

here’s the thing tho. in 2.01 the writers use dialogue very effectively to tell us about the kraken era. the crew doesn’t say much, but what the do say tells us a lot: we know that archie thinks the kraken era is all normal pirating stuff, jim felt like the wedding raid (which seems like their only raid on a civilian ship and not a military one) was a step too far, frenchie is Not Okay but he’s doing a fantastic job repressing everything, izzy looks tired but the specific thing echoing in his head right before he starts crying in front of the crew is ed telling him “if you can’t do the job, someone else will.”

and we know fang, who’s known ed for decades, has never seen ed like this. and the specific thing he mentions as something he’s never seen from ed before is not batting an eye when ivan died. meaning that even before meeting stede, fang would’ve expected ed to have some sort of reaction to ivan dying.

and the thing about ivan is that we know next to nothing about him. he has very little dialogue in season one. we don’t even know how long he’s been working with ed—long enough to have at least heard about fang having to put his dog down bc “the love of a pet makes a man weak” when fang joined ed’s ship years ago, even if ivan wasn’t actually there yet at the time—but we do know that watching ed tell ghost stories was apparently the most open and available he’d ever seen ed get. so it doesn’t sound like ivan and ed were especially close. ivan was almost certainly less close to ed than izzy was.

if fang expected to see ed have some sort of reaction to the death of an ordinary crew member (who mightve been working for ed for decades, might’ve been working for him for months, we really can’t say) who wasn’t even that close to ed, seeing ed casually and unflinchingly inflict a life-threatening gunshot to his first mate must’ve been fucking earth-shattering. and interpretation is also supported by what fang actually says while he’s crying at the end of 2.01—it’s not “i can’t stop crying, izzy’s hurt” or “i can’t stop crying, izzy’s going to die.” its “i can’t stop crying, ed shot izzy.” more than the imminent demise of a crew member, fang is shaking and sobbing and traumatized because he can’t believe ed would do that.

and if that feels like a reach, just remember what happens after the leg is cut off, after the crew most likely believes ed shot izzy again, this time 100% fatally: the whole crew is crowded in the hallway, and fang asks “do we think he’s… better?”

fang is not sad about izzy. or if he is, it’s dwarfed by how much more sad fang is about ed.

in conclusion: have fun with ur headcanons i am not the boss of you but also there is less canonical textual evidence of the crew loving izzy than some of y’all seem to think k byeeeee

[nicnacsnonsense]

AU where Izzy is complaining to Jack about Stupid Stede Fucking Bonnet after getting himself exiled from the ship, and Jack is listening to all this and comes to the conclusion that Ed is fucking brilliant. Because Ed has successfully retired from pirating like he wanted by getting himself this sweet sugaring set up where he can just mooch off this stupid rich guy. In fact it’s so brilliant Jack is going to steal the idea and whole set up. So Jack still shows up to the Revenge, still tries to manipulate a gulf between Stede & Ed, but this time he’s ingratiating himself to Stede and ostracizing Ed.

I imagine that Stede would still pick up on the bad vibes from Jack right away, but when he goes to ask Ed like, hey, seems like Jack is being kind of shitty to you, Ed hasn’t realized what’s going on yet and insists that this is all just friendly ribbing, and Stede takes him at his word. Eventually Ed does realize Jack is up to something, which Jack readily confesses to when Ed confronts him, but Jack also says he’ll deny it if Ed tries to tell Stede, and is Ed really sure at this point that Stede will pick him over Jack. So it becomes a silent battle between the two of them to see who can get the other kicked off the ship first.

Then one day Stede, very serious, asks if he can have a private word with Ed. And Ed is like, oh no, this is it, Jack convinced Stede to kick me off the ship. They go to the captains quarters to have their private conversation, Ed walking like a man to the gallows, and Stede is like, I know you said it was friendly ribbing but I’m really uncomfortable with the way Jack speaks with you and also he’s been saying some very mean things behind your back and I don’t think he’s really your friend. And Ed is all 🥺You mean you like and trust me more than Jack? 🥺🥹 To which Stede is just, I fucking hate Jack, I was only being nice to him because you said he was your friend. They talk some more, then they kiss, and then sometime later they finally get around to going back up on deck to kick Jack to the curb.

[aithusarosekiller]

An Extensive List Of Ouizzy Hcs

Frenchie is a cuddler. If he gets the opportunity to latch on like a koala you know damn well that he will do it. This is often paired with soft kisses to wherever is closest to his face. He and Izzy were initially very casual with very little intimacy, until one day Frenchie just decided to cuddle up and Izzy had the realisation of 'oh shit, this is actually really nice'

Izzy's response to the first 'I love you' was a very panicked 'fuck off' until he remembered how similarly Ed had responded to his confession and freaked the fuck out because he didn't want Frenchie to feel that way. He was too emotionally constipated to apologise so he just left the room. It took two days for him to approach Frenchie and manage an apology, which was accepted a lot quicker than he anticipated.

Frenchie is so proud that he managed to pull the Izzy Hands and will not fail to mention it to EVERYBODY he comes across. He is very much the 'Well, yesterday, my husband said...' 'According to Iz- that's my boyfriend btw-' 'hey, this is Izzy, he's my beautiful boyfriend' 'I'm so lucky to have a husband like Iz' 'I have a partner too, his name is Izzy and-' 'sorry, I've got a date with my darling Izzy today' type of partner

Frenchie smiles in his sleep. It's adorable.

Jim is their no.1 supporter. They gave Frenchie the shovel talk, which he genuinely did not see coming. They think their relationship is 'cute', which made Izzy particularly grumpy and reluctant to talk to them for a week.

Izzy is a sub

Izzy always falls asleep first but he's a super light sleeper so Frenchie is careful to not move or even breathe too loud because he is terrified of waking him

Stede knew they were dating before Izzy did

Izzy will usually shut down Frenchie's superstitious theories but will occasionally indulge him if he's particularly adamant and it won't cause any harm bc at least it makes Frenchie happy to be believed.

The room they choose to hide Izzy in when he gets shot is the room the two of them had been secretly meeting up in for several weeks before the canon s2 timeline picks up. Frenchie just panicked and took him right there, having to come up with an excuse to give to Archie when she asked why he wanted to drag Izzy behind a dusty shelf.

Frenchie gives neck hugs, Izzy goes for the arms around the waist + face in shoulder hug. Occasionally Izzy will come up and hug him from behind but he finds it more intimate for some inexplicable reason so he rarely does it, especially in the company of others.

They can't go anywhere without walking into some big, scary guy Izzy once hooked up with. But Frenchie quickly grew to not mind because out of all of them, Iz still chose to stick the superstitious barely-pirate with no survival skills whatsoever so are any of them really that cool after all?

Lucius takes every opportunity to tease Izzy about their relationship. He will not stop until he gets a satisfying reaction. Or until he gets bored enough to make up an excuse for leaving...

Frenchie is a biter. No further information.

They don't usually do anniversaries but they DO frequently pretend that it's their anniversary when they want to get out of doing something for somebody else

In S1E4, Frenchie is the one that left the prosthetic at Izzy's door. He's also the one that told Lucius what to put on the note.

Izzy sometimes sings when he's really focused on something but he'll deny it to the end of time. Frenchie hears sometimes and just quietly listens. He'll switch between languages when he sings depending on his mood and Frenchie loses all human cognitive abilities when he brings out the French.

One day, Frenchie 'adopts' a rat he found onboard and calls it Maddy, Izzy hates it but still manages to convince Roach not to skin it and feed it to a seagull, all bc it made Frenchie happy. Ofc if you asked him, he'd say he had nothing to do with the thing being kept.

Frenchie manages to somehow slip the word 'babe' into every conversation

Izzy's a hand kisser. Especially the palms.

They both go to Wee John when they're stressing about gifts or smth and it gets to a point where he knows more about their relationship than they do

Izzy accidentally let the words 'my love' slip ONCE and is not allowed to forget it

There is nothing Frenchie wouldn't do to hear that man laugh. He'll do absolutely anything just to see him smile or laugh, which initially proves to be quite difficult.

They are girl dads idec

Izzy occasionally smokes, and it's one of the key ways Frenchie can tell if he is in pain or stressed out

They make bets about everyone else on the ship constantly. About almost anything.

Izzy tried to teach Frenchie how to read but his reading skills are relatively limited so it really didn't go well. They end up going to Ed for help because Izzy banned him from asking Lucius.

Frenchie knows a lot about flowers. He never says how but he'll go on about them for ages. Izzy secretly gives it endearing.

The black jacket Frenchie wears in s2 was given to him by Izzy. He made some adjustments and added the cat to the back and then started to wear it constantly; he quite liked wearing it because it felt like a comforting layer of protection and familiarity from the horrors around them

[xmads-omensx]

Birthday Surprise

Masterlist

Word Count: 1,460

Pairing: Dougie Poynter X Reader

Content Warnings: fluff, kissing

Summary: It's Dougie's birthday while he's away on tour, and Y/N simply can't let him celebrate it without her

November 30th had rolled around much quicker than I had anticipated. Sadly, Dougie was on tour with the rest of McFly, and had been for two weeks already. I woke up in our bed, alone besides our cat, Grub.

With a yawn, I reached over to the bedside table to check the time on my phone. 7:28am. I was right on time. Opening my phone, I went straight over to Dougie’s contact to wish him a happy birthday, but before I could press the button to call him, my phone began to ring. It was Giovanna.

“Y/N, good morning!” Her cheery voice spoke through the phone.

“Hey.” I replied with a yawn.

“I know. I’m so sorry we have to get up this early, but it’s the only way we can get there on time.” She said sympathetically.

“Yeah, I know. Just didn’t sleep great last night.” I said.

“Excited?” Gi asked happily.

“Very.” I laughed tiredly.

“Aww good. Well, I’ll pick you up at about 8:00 if that’s okay. Georgia and Izzy are coming too, so we’re all going to go at the same time. The kids are coming too so it will be a big McWag day out.” She laughed.

Fans had lovingly referred to the wives and girlfriends of the band as ‘The McWags’. I was obviously a lot newer to this side of it as Dougie and I had only been together for eight months, but they included me as soon as we made our relationship public and welcomed me with loving arms.

“Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll see you soon Gi.” I said.

“See you soon Y/N! I can’t wait.” She cheerily laughed.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

As soon as I hung up the brief phone call, I got out of bed and began to make it. Once I was done, I got dressed and called Dougie, walking over to my vanity area. The phone rang out as I started doing my makeup for the day.

“Hey babe. Good morning.” Dougie’s voice spoke.

“Hi Doug. Morning yourself. Happy birthday.” I replied with a smile.

He laughed back. “Thanks darling. Wish I could be spending it with you, though.” I could hear regret in his voice. It was always there when he went away. I never really minded when he was on tour, as I understood that it was part of the job and there wasn’t anything that I could do to stop it from happening. Obviously, Doug knew this too, but he always felt guilty when he missed things like holidays, birthdays and other special occasions.

“Yeah, me too. Do you have anything nice planned for today?” I asked.

“Actually, yeah, Danny let slip that the guys are going to take me out for lunch for a surprise birthday treat.” He laughed his gorgeous melodic laugh.

“That sound like him.” I laughed in reply.

“Anyway babe, I better go. Harry is getting impatient and is desperate for our morning run. I’ll call you later?” There was a hopeful tone in his voice.

“Umm… I’m busy later, but I can text you when I’m free before your soundcheck?” I suggested, trying to avoid potentially getting caught later on in the day.

“Yeah, yeah sure thing babe. Talk to you later.” He said happily, but I could hear a tinge of disappointment laced in his voice.

“Bye babe.”

“Bye bub.”

The silence that engulfed me after I hung up was sad and heavy. Sure, I was going to see him later, but that didn’t take away how I felt from his disappointed voice.

A knock at the front door shook me out of my daze. I walked down the wooden staircase and headed to the front door, I could see an excited Gi waving at me through the glass.

As soon as I opened the door, she engulfed me in one of her famous hugs and I was instantly put at ease once again. “Oh hello you!” She beamed.

“Hi Gi!” I laughed, breathless from how tight the hug was.

“The boys are in the car already, so I’ll just shove your bag in the book, hop in the front and we’re good to go!” She smiled at me.

I laughed and walked over to the passenger side of the car, making sure to wave at the three young boys in the back of the car.

“Hi Y/N!” Buzz shouted over the loud music that they were playing.

“Hiya you three!” I laughed.

The driver side door opened and Giovanna slid in, fastening her seatbelt before sighing.

“Sorry about the volume. They’re trying to make sure they all know the words to every single McFly song, which I’m one thousand percent sure they already do.” She explained with a fake-dramatic sigh.

After that, she pulled away and our journey to the venue began. The drive was pleasant enough. Luckily, traffic wasn’t too horrific, so we got there in just shy of four hours, arriving at around midday. Perfect timing for us to enact our plot.

Tom, Danny and Harry were all somewhat in on the plan. They were going to take Dougie out for his birthday lunch, and I was going to pop up and surprise him. However, I didn’t think this was enough. It felt unfair that only Dougie got a surprise, so I suggested to the other “McWags” that we should all go, and that they should bring their kids along too so they can all see their dads. Unsurprisingly, they were all very excited and happy to go along with my little plan.

When we pulled up to the venue, we met up with Georgie and Izzy as well as their kids and began to make our way to the café Tom had told me they would be at.

“Are you excited?” Georgia asked as we walked.

“Yes, I’m so excited. I don’t know why, but this tour has been so much harder than the others.” I sighed.

“Well, you two have only just moved in together, so it will be weird because you’re so used to being around him all the time.” Izzy suggested with a smile. “I mean, that’s what it was like for Harry and I.”

“Izzy’s right, it was the same with me and Danny.” Georgia agreed.

That brought me a sense of comfort. It had been weird going from living alone, to then moving in with Doug and spending more or less every waking moment together, to him going off on tour and me being alone. I never minded him going on tour, again, it was part of his job, and I did secretly enjoy the peace and quiet I got, but after moving in with him, he became part of my daily routine.

“You’ll see him soon enough because we are nearly there.” Gi beamed, grabbing my arm.

I laughed at her excitement.

The kids began to get increasingly more and more restless as we continued our walk to the café, and even more so when it came into view.

It was a small, cosy establishment in the Leeds city centre with a large glass front with fairy lights hanging down. Danny looked up from his coffee and smiled, completely oblivious to the surprise himself, Tom and Harry were about to get. He gestured for me to come over, still completely oblivious. Typical Danny.

 The door opened with the chime of a bell. Izzy, Gi, Georgia and their kids all followed in behind me with wide smiles across their faces.

Tom, Danny and Harry looked up at us and their faces slowly lit up with realisation as their wives and kids walked towards them, engulfing them in bone-crushing hugs.

Excited squeals erupted from where we had gathered as Dougie remained seated at the table, a slightly disappointed smile on his handsome face.

“Hey there you.” I said as I leaned over his shoulder.

He jumped at the surprise.

“Y/N! You’re here!” He said, standing up and pulling me into an impossibly tight hug.

“Of course I am babe, it’s your birthday.” I laughed, starting to struggle to breathe.

“But I thought you had work?” He asked, pulling away from the hug to look at me.

“Not for the next few days. It’s all online stuff anyway so it doesn’t really matter if I take a day or so.” I explained, still loosely held in my boyfriend’s arms.

He didn’t say anything in reply, he just pulled me in for a kiss, making the rest of the guys and their kids cheer and the other “McWags” laugh at their idiotic behaviour.

“Happy birthday bub.” I whispered.

“Thank you for being here.” He whispered in reply.

“Always.” I kissed him again. “Happy birthday Doug.”

“Best birthday ever.” He smiled back at me.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

New strategy for dealing with people who try to assign character arcs to Izzy that he doesn't have in the show: pretend I don't know who the fuck they're talking about.

"Izzy's suicidal arc-" Oh you mean Ed? Yeah that was rough, I'm glad he came through okay!

"Izzy protecting the crew-" Oh you mean how Jim and Archie and Frenchie and Fang all looked out for each other and helped each other when things got rough? Yeah I loved that too!

"Izzy's queer storyline-" Oh you mean Stede's whole deal in s1? I loved how nice it was to see a soft gay man who isn't masc get such a sympathetic story.

I really do genuinely like Izzy, he's just best when you talk about his actual character traits and actual arc instead of trying to force things that didn't happen into his personality. Upon rewatches, his absolute sopping wet cat behavior in s2e4 and how he breaks down crying and says a very genuine, almost affectionate "fuckin' cocksuckers" about the crew when they deliver him his new leg and, in doing so, reassure him that he doesn't need to be "useful" as he defined it in order to have value as a person is one of my favorite parts of the season. I wish we could talk about that guy more.

[ams-puppy]

some questions people asked on pinterest! the world is so beautiful

there are reasons for each answer + added analysis below >.< (please read if u don't like the torture one. please j have my REASONS PLE)

Torture:

Nuanced answer. See, it was important to put my analysis aside and realize that AM himself would probably chalk up his favorite activities to human suffering so he can carry out his revenge on the species that abused him.

Am I satisfied with this answer? No, but it's the kind of answer AM would give, and AM does not always give satisfying answers.

Reasonably, I don't think that AM's "favorite activity" is torture. It's not that simple, unfortunately. I don't think he has a favorite activity, and if he did, it would be the bliss of shutting off entirely. Which he can't do.

In regards to torture, I think he likes that he's... almost winning...? He's got power over them, sure, but it isn't like he'll ever win. This was a losing battle for AM since he was born. He needs human interaction. Do his human survivors need him naturally? No. He has to make them need him. Does he need them naturally? Yes. And, naturally, he'll always be left alone. He'll outlive everything and everyone. The moment his toys die, he loses. It's just him. Just him and the burning, torturous, obvious need in him that aches for human contact to give him reason, to give him input, to give him purpose.

If I was that dependent on humans, I'd also just chalk it up to "Oh yeah I actually keep them alive because I just really like torturing them. yeah actually. no it isn't because I'm afraid of being alone forever while simultaneously being so angry and jealous that I need to punish them. why would you suggest that???? Anyway"

Coffee:

I discussed this one on pinterest a little, but this one took me for a little loop. At first, I took AM as the kind of guy who would want the best of the best. Jamaican blue mountain coffee. If he can have a choice, obviously he'd pick the best.

But I stepped back from that thought process. I do believe he would pick the best of the best, yes, if he had already gotten used to having mundane things.

(igh. Come on izzy . think. use that brain of yours)

So I immediately put that thought process aside and realized that if he could have coffee at all, he'd go for the common people's coffee. He'd grab a shitty Dixie coffee cup and have a pot of cheap office coffee. And he'd savor it like no one has ever savored shitty coffee because that is real coffee. That is the human experience. This is the coffee humans have. The free stuff, the cheap stuff, the common stuff. And he could feel like he belongs.

But they asked what his favorite coffee would be, not for an analysis.

The next thing over was picking a specific type of coffee that was common, shitty, but also a treat. I think he'd love to experience that overflow of artificial sweetness and way too much sugar that plenty of people enjoy in spite of knowing it is not good for our health!!!!!! Caramel macchiato... very popular drink, blasted with sugar, and I have some odd predisposition that makes me inclined to say that he'd be excited to try caramel. Caramel is sticky and childish. It might be nice to get a taste of that joy!!!

[axl-rose-lover-1987]

Title: THAT ONE TIME ON TOUR

“mom what’s wrong?” I asked we had been having money problems and I was worried about her “Nothing sweetie it’s just I have sort of a surprise for you” she said. “Oh ok” I said beginning to eat my cereal when suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. “Oh it’s them” my mom said. “Who?” I said very confused as my mom went to go answer our front door we weren’t expecting any guests today as far as I knew

“Hello gentlemen please come in” I heard my mom say. “She’s over there” my mom said her voice breaking a little bit. A man with long red hair and a man hiding his face face behind a mop of curly hair and sunglasses entered my kitchen behind my mom. My mom began wiping tears away from her face the two men smiled at me. I stopped eating my bowl of Reese Puffs very confused. “Mom what’s going on?” I asked. “Don’t be scared sugar will explain everything.” The red headed man said his deep voice booming through my kitchen. “Sweetie I’m so sorry-“ my mom said crying. “I know this is a lot to take in.” The red headed man said to me walking over to me. My mom then hugged me and whispered “it’s better this way honey.” Then the red head man picked my up bridal style and carried me into his broken down van with the man with curly hair. “I-I don’t understand…where are you taking me? Who are you?”

“Well,” the man with fiery hair started, “I’m Axl. This is Slash” he pointed to the man with the curls. “This,” He then pointed to another man in the van, he had poofy blonde hair and a glowing smile. “well, this is Steven. If you’re scared you should probably talk to him, I’m not the best at this stuff.” He laughed nervously.

Should I be scared? I was starting to think so…

“We’re gonna go home and then we’ll explain everything. You’ll just be staying with us for a while.” The blondie spoke in a gentle tone. Maybe I should talk to him.

“Oh, uhm, okay.” I whispered. i had to admit I was a little fearful, though I didn’t understand why. Sure my mom hadn’t given me an explanation, but I was 18. I’m an entire woman, no need to be scared without my mommy.

The curly haired man eyed me curiously, “Ax,” he whispered, clearly intending for only the red head to hear. “How old did you say she was again?”

“Slash,” he hit the man’s arm. “She’s 18. BUT,” he whispered sternly, “be respectful. She’s probably much too scared to think of anything like that. Besides, I had first dibs”

“The fuck you do.” The poodle haired man yelled in a normal voice, startling the blondie next to me.

They obviously hadn’t noticed that I listened in on the entire conversation.

“Sorry, erm, what did you say your name was again?” The red head going by “axl” questioned.

They really knew nothing about me.

“My named y/n and I’m really confused what’s going on” I asked. They all got a sad look on there face and Axl sighed “Well sugar I’m afraid that your mom has fallen on hard times money wise and sold you to us” Axl said. “SHE WHAT!” I yelled.

I buried my face in my legs beginning to sob.

Another blond man peered from behind the back seat of the van “ah it’ll be ok sweet heart we aren’t that bad I promise” the man said rubbing my shoulder. His words were nice but I was still terrified and so confused. The van stopped in front of a very broken down looking apartment complex.

***time skip***

well this is your room I hope u like it Axl said showing me to one of the bedrooms. “Yeah I guess it’ll do” I said wiping away tears Axl left the room. Then a man with long black hair appeared.

“Are you ok?” The man asked. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!” I yelled. “Oh my bad my bad.” The man said “I’m Izzy I’m rhythm guitarist for the band. “Oh” I said “I’m y/n”

“Nice to meet you y/n you’re very pretty.” Izzy said I blushed. “Why don’t you come out to the living room and get to know us better” Izzy suggested. “Ok” I said.

When I entered the living room all the guys were sitting in a circle and it looked like a fucking AA meeting. “Why don’t you sit down y/n” Axl said. I sat down into between Slash and Steven. “Sooo you like jack Daniels?” Slash asked. “Um sorry no I’m only 18” I said. “Oh my bad didn’t realize you were a pussy” Slash said.

“Slash shut up” Steven said slapping him on the back of the head Slash grimaced. “I think that’s respectable y/n we aren’t the most respectable guys maybe you’ll be a good influence on us” Steven said with a smile.

“Influence? How old is this bitch like- ten?” Izzy asked, sipping something from a red solo cup.

“Izzy!” Axl yelled, obviously upset “She just said she’s 18! Come on man can’t you guys be a little bit more serious about this?” He rubbed his temples. “We bought a fucking human being for gods sake.” He mumbled.

“Axl…” the other blonde man said. I believed they called him Duff. “She’s right here…”

“You know what guys, I can just go to my room and chill for a bit.” I said, getting up to leave. As I turned the corner for my room, I stopped to listen in on their conversation.

“What are we gonna do?” Duff asked.

“What do you mean?” Axl questioned, “we bought a fucking human being duff. And all of you fuckers,” he pointed to everyone in the room. “Are looking at her like eye candy. It’s disgusting!”

Slash laughed, his jack Daniels gurgling in his throat.

“What’s so funny Slash? Please share with the class.” Axl said in a smart ass tone.

“Well it’s obvious she’s into me.” He said, “didn’t you see the way she looked at me in the van? She was practically all over me in her mind.”

He wasn’t wrong.

“Okay, you guys are all gross. Have you thought about what she wants? She’s probably scared and crying in her room right now. She doesn’t know any of us and she’s only 18 she’s new to the sex world.” Steven spoke sweetly.

“I say we all share her-“ Izzy butted in.

I was in complete shock. Share me? What the hell was this, a parent custody match?

“I vote on that.” Slash slurred.

“I guess I wouldn’t mind…” Axl whispered, ashamed. “That is, after she’s comfortable, of course.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“What the fuck you guys?” The two blondies yelled in unison.

“I’m going to check on her,” a very drunk slash declared.

I quickly ran to my room, laying on my bed in an attempt to look casual.

“Hey sweetheart,” the guitarist whispered, leaning against the door frame and knocking.

“Oh, hey” I said, standing to meet his eyes.

“I hope this isn’t too awful for you. I know it must be hard but still, I hope you’re settling in okay.”

I couldn’t help but feel nice when I heard the sincereness in his voice.

“It’s not too awful” I ran my finger tip down the length of his chest, I had game too.

“Oh fuck” Slash said biting his lips. His lips then crashed onto mine they were soft like a pillow and my hand began to get tangled in his curly hair. Our tongues danced in each other’s mouths when Slash abruptly pulled away. “Did I do something wrong?” I asked sheepishly. “Nah you’re just not much of a pussy after all” Slash said smirking. Just then Axl barged in seeing me on Slashes lap. “SLASH WHAT THE FUCK” Axl yelled. “Hey man she came on to me” Slash said throwing his hands up in the air.

I blushed. Axl rolled his eyes and then walked over to me and pulled me off Slashes legs and laid me down and began to slide my legs apart I was only wearing little booty shorts that were my pajamas. Axl looked up at me with pleading eyes he was very sexy I had to admit and contrary to what the boys thought this wasn’t my first time around the block.

“May I?” Axl said seductively. I nodded feeling my pussy grow wetter by the minute. Axl smirked and began to slowly pull down my shorts and panties. It was so wonderfully torturous. Slash watched the whole thing smiling looking at my agony. That’s when Axls tongue found my clit and began to lick his tongue all over

Damn did that man know how to use his tongue. Slight moans escaped my lips. “Slash can you shut her up” Axl spat. “Sure thing” Slash said as he began to straddle me and soon again me and Slash were making out. Between Slash making out with me and Axl eating me out I was hot mess.

That’s when Duff entered. “YOUR FUCKING THE HOT GIRL WE BOUGHT WITHOUT ME!” The giraffe looking man yelled. Slash pulled away “just shut up and get over here Duff geez”

Duff then began to undress himself. My god three men at once? I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.

“Erm, guys?” I whispered, clearly intimidated.

“Oh shut up you pretty little slut” slash whispered before crashing his lips to mine.

By this time, Duff was completely naked in the corner of the room, his cock clearly red and hard from watching the two men on me.

“Guys what the sigma?” I’m the one that convinced you to buy the bitch in the first place, you could at least let me tap it first.” The dark haired man entered the doorway.

His eyes slowly lit up as he looked over, seeing duffs exposed length. “Shit Duff” he sighed.

“Izzy we can’t do this again. The one time on tour…” he whispered. “That was a one time deal kitten We agreed We were both drunk and horny. It meant nothing.”

Just then, slash and Axl stopped working on me and turned to look at Duff and Izzy.

“You guys FUCKED??!!???” Axl and slash screamed, shocked.

“IT WAS A ONE TIME THING I SWEAR!” Duff yelled.

“What’s all the commotion?” Steve questioned, walking into the room.

“Izzy and duff fucked!” Slash yelled.

Though, Steven seemed unfazed. “Yeah, so? You and Axl fucked a couple times- oh and remember that three sum we had on tour? It’s normal isn’t it-“

Axl cut Steven off, grasping his hand over his mouth. “Stevie shut up we swore never to talk about that.”

“Fuck senpai” slash moaned just in time for us all to look over. The sight we saw was indescribable.

Duff was inches deep in Slashs ass hole, slash bent over with his ass on display. Slashs ass hole was being ripped to shreds by Duffs mega cock

“I can’t take this anymore.” Izzy moaned, falling to the floor and ripping his pants off. He began jerking his dick in a senseless attempt to release some tension.

“Well fuck Izzy, you don’t have to go at this alone.” Steven sighed, falling to the floor and wrapping his lips around stevens cock.

I looked at Axl, total shock running over me. “What the fuck?” I mouthed, clearly crazed.

“I’m sorry doll…” Axl trailed off before bending down in front of Izzy. “May I?” He questioned.

“Yes papi” Izzy moaned airily and nodded his head quickly

Axl then slid behind Izzy, holding the skinny man’s waist and slowly thrusting in and out of his ass.

I watched in horror as the orgy took place. Fuck.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 02x02 - Digital Gate, Open! / The DigiTeam Complete

Previously on Digimon Adventure: Daisuke got so upset about Hikari and Takeru's Digimon history that he marched right out and got his own Digimon out of spite. And succeeded! Hikari was only mildly impressed but Taichi was so psyched that he adopted Daisuke on the spot.

We pick today's episode up right where the last left off: In a tangled pile of limbs and regrets.

Taichi: This is.... Takeru: ...the computer room? Iori: D-Did you just return from the Digital World? Daisuke: Yes, that's right! (jumps to his feet) We're back! The Digital World was so cool! We were attacked out of nowhere by this dinosaur-looking Digimon and-- Miyako: I'M GOING TOO!!! Daisuke: Geh!?

Miyako jumps right up in Daisuke's face, cutting him off.

Iori: Miyako-san, let's put it aside for today. Miyako: Why!? Don't you want to go!? Iori: No, I am interested too. But if I don't get home soon, my mother will worry. Taichi: Yeah, we should all head home for the day. Koushiro: I also think that would be best. Takeru: Let's do that, Miyako-san.

Finding not even one person sympathetic to her eagerness, Miyako pouts, then exclaims:

Miyako: NO FAIR!!! EVERYONE ELSE GOT TO!!!

Which is entirely hyperbolic, given that neither Koushiro nor Iori got to go. But, in her defense, the only reason she missed this trip is because Iori's computer broke down and she had made a prior agreement to help with that.

Inoue "I WANNA GO TO THE DIGITAL WORLD!!!" Miyako is such an interesting contrast to Tachikawa "I WANNA GO HOME!!!" Mimi. They both have similar stripes, but of different colors.

Against Miyako's wishes, everyone leaves the computer room and we hear the Gate shutting down. Which. Was not expected behavior, as Koushiro returns a moment later.

Koushiro: Oh, I should turn that off-- Huh? Koushiro: ... Koushiro: The Gate is closed....

Mysterious!

In the dub:

Tai: Where are we!? T.K.: This is the computer room! Cody: Hey, when you guys came through the computer, where did you come from? Davis: Where? The Digital World! (jumps to his feet) That place is the coolest ever! There we were when suddenly a dinosaur-like Digimon attacked and that's when I jumped into action! Yolei: Enough! Let's go back! Davis: Huh!? Cody: I think we've had enough excitement for one day. Yolei: Don't you want to go to the Digital World, Cody!? Cody: Of course seeing all those monsters and stuff would be fun but tonight's macaroni and cheese night at my house and I don't want to miss out. Tai: (despondent) That's right, it's pork surprise at my place. Izzy: Stuffed green peppers and a salad. T.K.: TV Dinners in the microwave. Yolei: NO FAIR!!! I WANNA GO!!!

As usual, details in sound effects don't carry over to the dub. We don't hear the Gate shut down as they leave, and instead get a little bit of extra dialogue.

T.K.: Don't worry, Yolei. You'll get a chance. Yolei: WHEN!?!? Izzy: (returns) Oops, I almost forgot to turn off the computer. Izzy: ... Izzy: The Gate's closed....

Izzy doesn't make a surprised noise so it's not super clear how we're supposed to feel about that. Also, very minor, but the lack of a surprised noise makes it a little awkward when he silently stares dumbfounded into the camera with a blank expression for a couple seconds.

Fantastic job with Yolei's outburst.

Making the "We should all go home" conversation about what family dinners everyone has waiting for them still captures the spirit of the discussion while adding a lot of individual character to it. Nice touch.

Though Cody's line misses a key point of characterization. Iori is a prim and proper boy like Jou. He needs no further reason to go home than the simple fact that it's getting late and his mom will fret about him if he isn't home punctually. Also keep in mind that Iori is about 9. As a third-grader, he's only a year older than Hikari and Takeru were last series.

Cody implies that he'd be fine staying out late if they were having something less tasty for dinner, implying that this decision is selfishly-motivated.

I'm also not sure what he means by "We've had enough excitement for one day." He and Yolei haven't done anything. That's why she's so upset.

Everyone leaves school, but Taichi, Hikari, and Takeru do not go home. Recent events warrant the making of other plans.

Yamato walks out on his band in the middle of rehearsal.

Bandmate: What the hell, Yamato? You're going home already? Yamato: I have something important to take care of.

A brief moment that establishes this meetup is spur-of-the-moment. Taichi's asked everyone to drop what they're doing for an all-hands-on-deck emergency meeting. Well, all hands but Mimi who is... let's say, difficult to reach.

Yamato is the last to arrive at the playground for the team's meetup.

Takeru: Ah, Onii-chan! Taichi: Yamato! Yamato: Sorry I'm late. Sora: (hops down) We haven't all been together like this in a long time.

You still aren't, and that's very rude. You don't have to go off the cliff yet but I'm watching you. (•̀⤙•́)

We cut from the team to Iori's place, where he's practicing kendo on the balcony.

Iori: The Digital World... What sort of place is it?

Inside, Miyako's working on his computer as promised.

Miyako: I'm definitely going to the Digital World tomorrow. Fumiko: (Iori's mom, through the door) Miyako-chan, will you be eating dinner with us? Miyako: Ah, I'll go home!

...I guess that's a no.

In the dub:

Bandmate: You're leaving already, Matt? We're not done with rehearsal! Matt: Sorry, guys. There's something I gotta take care of. (Playground) T.K.: Here he comes! Tai: Hi, Matt! Matt: Hey, everybody! Sorry I'm late. Sora: (hops down) It's been a long time! It's nice to be back.

Dub Sora does not clearly assert what it's been a long time since, and kinda makes it sound like she recently returned from vacation or something.

Cody: (kendo) I wonder what it's really like to actually travel into the Digital World? (Inside) Yolei: I don't care if they don't want me along! Tomorrow, I'm going to the Digital World! Fumiko: (through the door) Yolei, are you staying for dinner? Mac and cheese! Yolei: No, but thanks anyway! I have to get going.

Cody's more concerned with the experience of travel than the nature of the Digital World itself. Yolei is taking this "We should go home for the night" thing incredibly personally, but it makes sense given how upset she is.

Meanwhile, in his room, Daisuke tosses a soccer ball and thinks about Veemon.

Daisuke: I wonder what he's up to right now.... Yamato: (sudden cut) ARMOR EVOLUTION!?!? Taichi: Yeah. I've never seen evolution like that before. Agumon and the others weren't able to evolve, but Daisuke's Digimon did. Sora: Daisuke from Soccer Club was in the Digital World?

Daisuke may have been Taichi's kouhai specifically, but if he was in Soccer Club then he would have played with Sora and Koushiro too.

Takeru: Miyako-san and Iori-kun from my apartment building have Digivices too. Jou: So those three are new Chosen Children? Koushiro: I believe so. Sora: But if this Digimon Kaiser is indiscriminately hunting Digimon, will Piyomon and the others be okay? Hikari: Mimi-san sent me an email from America. She was worried about Palmon.

The text in Mimi's email is too small for me to make out the more complicated kanji, but we do get our first glimpse at her final 02 design. Love the hair. Sad she doesn't keep it in Tri.

In the dub:

Davis: Boy, I just can't stop thinking about Veemon. Matt: (sudden cut) Digi-Armor Energize, huh?

You know, the sharp cut bit really doesn't work without the frantic yelling.

Tai: It was a form of Digivolving I've never seen before. Somehow Davis's Digimon was able to Digivolve but Agumon and the others weren't. Sora: You mean Davis from the Soccer Club went to the Digital World? T.K.: That's right. And the two kids from my apartment building, Yolei and Cody, also got new Digivices. Joe: Well, if they have Digivices, that means that they're the new DigiDestined. Izzy: That's just what I thought. Joe: Mm... Sora: One question: If this Digimon Emperor's really hunting Digimon and making them his slaves, will Biyomon and the others be okay? Kari: I got an email earlier from Mimi in America. She was asking the same question.

Everybody stays on script. No notes.

Suddenly, Yamato has an idea.

Yamato: Why don't we go too? To the Digital World. Koushiro: But... When we left the room, the Gate had already closed. Yamato: Right... That makes sense. Group: ... Koushiro: In any case, tomorrow I'll inspect all of the computers in the Computer Club again. Taichi: Yeah! I'll go too. Sora: I'll go too. Hikari: Mhm! Takeru: Mhm! Jou: Sorry, I have a National Practice Exam tomorrow.... Yamato: I skipped band practice today, so.... Taichi: Got it! We can handle it. Yamato: Let me know as soon as anything happens. Taichi: Uh-huh!

I'm not 100% sure what test Jou has tomorrow but it's bound to be a big deal. As of today, he's started 9th grade, his final year of mandatory education before he moves on to high school. A big national test like that is probably non-optional. As a "practice exam", I'd wager it's an initial assessment of student abilities before the year's education takes place.

In the dub:

Matt: I think we should just go there and do things our way! Izzy: We can't! I went back to check the computer and the Gate was already closed. Matt: That means... We can't help them? Group: ... Izzy: I'm going back first thing tomorrow morning to check the computer and see if the Gate has opened up again. Tai: Mm! I'm going with you! Sora: And so am I! Kari: Mhm! T.K.: Mhm. Joe: I can't. I've got an oral test tomorrow on laryngitis. Matt: Yeah, and my band's got a big concert coming up so we have to practice. Tai: Don't worry about it, guys! Just leave everything to us. Matt: Okay. But let us know if you need us.

Not everybody stays on script. A few notes.

Izzy says he'll be going "first thing tomorrow morning", suggesting he plans to do this... before school? This makes negative sense, especially since he doesn't even go to that school anymore. Though, given all the futzing with everyone's grades last episode, that might not be true? IDK.

Yes, this does imply that Jou's national exam is after the end of the school day. I cannot say if that's normal or not.

Flipping the timing to "first thing in the morning" means we are now discussing skipping school. So, Joe's reason for backing out still works. But now Matt's is weird. Were you... Were you already planning to ditch so you could practice?

Separate from that, Matt is weirdly aggressive about the new kids. "We should go do things our way!" I guess he really doesn't like the concept of Armor Digivolution. This doesn't have to be a competition, my guy.

The altered timing also creates consistency issues with the following scene. As we move to next day, clearly after school because that is the time of day when children are walking away from the building and not towards it.

Koushiro has returned to the elementary school's Computer Club as promised. He has the Gate pulled up on the computer. He types at it, but gets a rejection beep. Types some more and gets another rejection beep.

Koushiro: Like I thought, the Gate is still closed. (sound of door opening) Miyako: Huh? Izumi-senpai? Koushiro: Ojama shimasu.

Miyako and Iori enter Computer Club to find Koushiro in there. Not being privy to the Team Meeting, this is an unexpected sight for them.

Koushiro's response is easy to translate in words but not in intent. It literally means, "I am going to bother you." It's a customary phrase for entering someone's home. It pairs with ojama shimashita when you leave someone's home, which literally means "I have bothered you." It's playful nuisance energy filtered through Japanese politeness.

The point is, this is Miyako's club now, not Koushiro's. He is a guest and, polite as ever, engages with her accordingly.

(Not sure if she's club president or still just a member but the point is that Koushiro is no longer either.)

Koushiro: I've been thinking about what happened yesterday. Iori: I couldn't sleep last night either. Please take us to the Digital World today. Gate: (unlock chime) Koushiro: But the Gate is-- Eh!? The Gate's open!?

Convenient! I'm sure that's a coincidence. No need to look too deeply into it.

In the dub:

Izzy: Just as I thought, it's still closed. I've gotta find a way to the Digital World! Yolei: Izzy! Izzy: Huh? Yolei: What are you doing in here? Izzy: Oh, hi. I was just trying to get more information on what happened here yesterday. Cody: I couldn't sleep last night. I kept thinking about it. Izzy, will you take me with you to the Digital World? Izzy: I can't 'cause the Gate's not-- Gate: (unlock chime) Izzy: Huh!? Look! It's open!

The Gate waits slightly longer so that it can open at the most ironic time possible. XD

We still lose some sound effect details, though. First, Koushiro's keyboard clacking and the two rejection noises. Koushiro is actively trying to open the Gate and failing. Izzy seems to have just pulled it up, noticed it was closed, and proceeded to pout at it.

The other is the sound of the door opening when Miyako and Iori enter. I guess Izzy likes to hack reality with the door wide open.

No sooner has Koushiro noticed the open Gate than do the others arrive. Daisuke, Hikari, and Takeru enter the room, followed by Taichi and Sora.

Daisuke: Hey! Sora: Hello.

Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori present their new Digivices to the class.

Sora: Those are the new Digivices? Taichi: They're the three Digivices I pulled from the Digimental. Miyako: Hey, let's hurry up and get to the Digital World! Daisuke: (teasing) Heh, the Digital World is a scary place.... Miyako: Oh, don't try to brag when you've only been there once! Iori: We are prepared for a little danger.

多少の危険 Tasho no kiken. A little danger. Some mild peril. A reasonable level of risk.

Nobody tell Iori about... (scans through series 1) ...really all of that, honestly. Yeah, we'll go with all of that.

Koushiro explains the situation with the computer.

Koushiro: All of the other computers appear to be fine. However, it seems that this computer is the only one with a local Gate open on it. But a Gate's never been open two days in a row before! Daisuke: Whatever, let's go! To the Digital World!

Taichi, your kouhai is... acting like your kouhai. Fix that. XD Daisuke is aggressively disinterested in the particulars of the Gates.

An interesting note is that the first series only sometimes used the phrase "Digital World". It tended to refer to it as the Digimon World, or the Digimon's world. But 02 has thus far been very consistent about saying Digital World.

In the dub:

Davis: How's it goin', guys? Sora: Hi, everybody. (The new trio shows their Digivices) Sora: Those are the new Digivices? How cool? Tai: That's right. Those are the ones that were released from the Digi-Egg when I touched it. Yolei: Well, what are we standing around here for? I say let's get going! Davis: Hold it! I think I should give you a couple pointers about some of the things you're about to see. Yolei: Gimme a break! You've only been there once! What do you know!? Cody: I think we should be prepared for a little danger. Izzy: My suspicions were confirmed. I just checked the other computers. None of them seem to be affected by this. The Gate is only open on this one here. That's not all; The Gate has never been open two days in a row before. Davis: Then i say we get going! All ashore that's going ashore!

Solid. No notes.

Time to get going. To the Digital--

Voice: Well, if it isn't Yagami! Taichi: (flinch) Voice: It's been a while! Taichi: Fujiyama-sensei!

Hey, remember Fujiyama-sensei? He was the teacher in charge during the Chosen Children's fateful summer camp. They emotionally blackmailed him into letting them off in the wrong part of Tokyo, resulting in them predictably getting lost and having to hitchhike home through an ocean of child predators. And then vanishing into the bay on the back of a kaiju.

Fortunately, nobody found out about that so he remains employed. Despite the bad idea that he knew was a bad idea ending even worse than he could have anticipated. The moral of the story is: do not dump the children in your care at random parts of a metropolitan city. Trust your instincts and tell the crying children no.

Fujiyama: Takenouchi and Izumi too! What are graduates like you doing here? Taichi: W-Why are you here, Sensei!? Fujiyama: (poses dramatically) I'm the Advisor for Computer Club! Taichi & Sora: EHHH!?!? YOU CAN USE A COMPUTER, SENSEI!?!? Fujiyama: (still dramatically posed) Of course not! Taichi & Sora: (faces fall)

Taichi takes a moment to get over the whiplash, then starts physically pushing Fujiyama backwards out of the room.

Taichi: That's right! I had something I wanted to ask you about, Sensei. Fujiyama: What's that? Taichi: I'm having a lot of trouble keeping up with middle school classes. But let's not talk here!

Taichi successfully pushes Fujiyama all the way out of the room and down the hall. He signals the others with his fingers as he departs, giving them the go-ahead to leave without him.

Sora: (english) Thank you, Taichi.

Taichi is taking a bullet for us. While conveniently getting out of the way because he had his turn, and now it's Sora and Koushiro's turn to spend quality time with the new kids.

In the dub:

Voice: Tai Kamiya, is that you!? Tai: (flinch) Voice: We haven't seen you in a while! Tai: Mr. Fujiyama! Fujiyama: And Sora and Izzy are both here as well. Didn't you all graduate? Tai: Yeah... We did... And what are you doing here? Fujiyama: (poses dramatically) I'm the new head of the Computer Club! Tai & Sora: Huh!? But what do you know about using computers!? Fujiyama: (still dramatically posed) Hehe, not a single thing. Tai & Sora: (faces fall) (Tai starts pushing Fujiyama out) Tai: I just remembered, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about, Mr. Fujiyama. You got a minute? Fujiyama: Sure, what is it? Tai: Well, I've been having problems adjusting to high school! It's the girls, ehehe... They're so much older! (Tai and Fujiyama leave) Sora: Thanks, Tai. We owe ya.

Almost a straight 1:1 translation, though Tai's pivoted from academic advice to romance advice and remains "in high school". He will regret this pivot.

Okay, now we can go to the Digital World.

Koushiro: Well, now's our chance.

The seven kids hold their Digivices up to the screen, which absorbs them through the Gate and passes them on into the Digital World. Miyako and Iori get new outfits like Daisuke's, while everyone else transfers over in their same clothes.

Iori: So this is the Digital World. Huh? My clothes changed! Miyako: (checking out her outfit) Oh wow! This is amazing! Daisuke: Check out how cool I look! Miyako: Not bad, but mine are cooler! Daisuke: Oh no, mine are definitely cooler! Iori: I think mine are pretty cool.

While the children playfully bicker about their magical Digital World outfits, the older veterans look on with no small amount of bewilderment. Sora is the only one whose jaw isn't hanging open, and that's because she's using it to talk.

Sora: These new Chosen Children are completely different from us. Have the times changed? Hikari: (teasing) Please don't start talking like an old maid!

Fortunately, we cut away before Hikari can receive the inevitable flick to the nose for that remark. :P

In the dub:

Izzy: Alright, let's get going. (Transfer to Digital World) Izzy: Is everyone okay? Davis: Yeah, but I feel like I just went through the rinse cycle of a dishwasher! Cody: Wow... So this is the Digital World. Hey, wait... I'm wearing different clothes. And they're pretty comfortable too. Yolei: Hey! I'm dressed like I'm part of the cool crowd! Davis: I forgot the part about the new wardrobe. Yolei: I love this helmet! It makes my glasses look smaller! Davis: I wonder if they have anything in a surfer style? Yolei: Wait 'til I tell my sisters I got free clothes! (Pan over to the veterans) Sora: Kids today have no sense of values. When I was a kid, I showed a lot more respect whenever I received a gift. Kari: (teasing) Sora, I hate to say this but you're sounding just like my mom!

Yolei and Davis's playful bickering is turned into them nerding out as friends over the cool outfits. Plus side, it's much more rich in interesting character details than "Mine are cooler" "Nuh-uh mine are".

Sora and Kari's exchange captures the spirit of the original; Sora starts talking like an old lady and Kari calls her out on it. It's a little more awkward in the dub, though.

In the original, Sora comments on the generation gap between the two groups of Chosen Children. In the dub, she delivers an impromptu Kids These Days ramble because the new kids don't appreciate their new clothes enough. Even though... I'm honestly not sure what they said that's disrespectful.

Also, Sora, you're 14. I think the dub thinks you're like 15 or 16 but even so, you are a kid. That is a very realistic thing for a teenager to say so I'm not dinging it for being a bad line but I actually am old so I get to be snippy about teenagers saying "When I was a kid." XD

Once the new kids are settled in their outfits, the team sets out to look for their Partners.

Sora: PIYOMOOOOOON!!! Koushiro: TENTOMOOOOOON!!!

Unfortunately, they're not alone. Watching from his control room, the Digimon Kaiser giggles to himself.

Kaiser: Huhuhuhuhu... I've been waiting. Come, let's start the game. Go, Snimon!

As Snimon leaves the base to attack, we get a closeup on the dark ring around their thorax.

In the dub:

Sora: Biyomon! Izzy: Tentomon! (Meanwhile, the Emperor) Emperor: Huhuhuhuhu... I've been waiting for you to get here. Now, let the games begin. Snimon, attack!

Pretty much 1:1. The Kaiser/Emperor has been sitting in-lobby waiting for the other players to queue up. Despite his trash talk, it really goes to show how interested he's become in PVP since the new game mode was rolled out yesterday.

Meanwhile, the kids continue their search.

Daisuke: V-MOOOOOON!!! WHERE ARE YOU!? V-MOOOOOON!!! V-mon: DAISUKEEEEEE!!! Daisuke: Ah! V-mon: DAISUKEEEEEE!!!

V-mon sprints across the field and gives Daisuke a firm handshake.

Daisuke: V-mon! V-mon: Hey! We found Patamon and the others' nakama!

Patamon, Tailmon, Piyomon, and Tentomon come over the hill to join them as well. Agumon seems to have somehow got the memo that Taichi wasn't coming on this one. No clue what's become of Gomamon, Palmon, or Gabumon, who were also missing from the group last episode too.

Koushiro: Tentomon! Sora: Piyomon!

As the veteran Digimon approach, Sora and Koushiro embrace their partners.

Koushiro: Tentomon! Tentomon: Koushiro-han! It's good to see you looking well! Sora: Piyomon! Piyomon: I missed you so much, Sora! Sora: I missed you too.

In the dub:

Davis: VEEMOON!!! WHERE ARE YOU!? VEEMON!!! Veemon: Davis! Davis: Haha! Veemon: Davis, I'm over here! (Firm handshake) Davis: Veemon! Veemon: Davis! I've brought Patamon and his friends with me! (Patamon and the others come over the hill) Izzy: Tentomon! Sora: Biyomon! (Hugs) Izzy: Tentomon. Tentomon: Izzy, you're a sight for big green sore eyes! Sora: Biyomon. Biyomon: I've missed you, Sora! Sora: I've missed you too.

A minor note. When V-mon says they found Patamon and co.'s nakama, it's a reference to last episode. The difference here isn't the word nakama itself. The dub translates it into "friends" as dubs often do, which works fine in this context. No, the point of contention is 見つけた mitsuketa, or "found".

This reunion connects directly with last episode. Agumon and Patamon were with Piyomon and Tentomon when they were attacked by Snimon. Piyomon and Tentomon were struck by Snimon's attacks and fell behind, while Tailmon and Taichi were able to get Agumon and Patamon to safety.

This word choice is explaining that, after we left last night, V-mon, Patamon, Agumon, and Tailmon were able to go back and regroup with Piyomon and Tentomon.

We aren't gonna have much time for this reunion, though. In a cool bit of imagery, the shadow of a cloud passes over the children and leaves behind the shadow of Snimon. But now that we're together, this won't turn out like last time.

Takeru: Sora-san, get down!

Takeru tackles Sora to the ground, letting Snimon whiff past overhead. The other children hit the ground as well, with Miyako quite reasonably screaming at the top of her lungs.

The veterans take to the air, letting off Magical Fire, Petit Thunder, and Air Shot. Snimon's aerial mobility is too great, however, as they weave through the attacks unharmed.

Tailmon uses this distraction to close distance, throwing her Neko Punch into Snimon's unguarded face. Snimon takes the hit without flinching, then slaps her to the ground with their scythe arm.

As she hits the ground, Tailmon laments.

Tailmon: Of course... I'm powerless without my Holy Ring....

Aw, shit. This is turning out like last time.

In the dub:

T.K.: Sora, move it! (tackle) (Everyone tries and fails) Gatomon: I'm sorry but, without my Tail Ring, I don't have enough power.

Alright, warm-up's over. Time for V-mon to get into the mix.

V-mon: Damn it! I'll Armor Evolve and wreck this guy! Daisuke, Digimental! Daisuke: Yeah! Kaiser: (control room) I can't let you do that. Go, Drimogemon!

Suddenly, a sinkhole opens up underneath Daisuke and he plunges in, barely managing to stop his fall by hanging onto the side. Down below, Drimogemon emerges from the depths of the earth.

Narrator: Drimogemon. An Adult-stage Digimon that lives deep underground. Their special attack is Drill Spin. V-mon: DAISUKE!!! Kaiser: (control room) Go, Mojyamon!

Lying in wait, Mojyamon quietly emerges from the treeline.

Narrator: Mojyamon. An Adult-stage Digimon that typically lives out in isolated snowy regions. Their special attack is-- Mojyamon: Hone Hone Boomerang!

Hone means "bone". This is one of the rare attack names to not fully be called in English.

The Hone Hone Boomerang catches V-mon offguard, knocking him into the pit with Daisuke. Daisuke catches V-mon's hand to keep him from falling, but loses his own grip. They plunge together into the abyss, disappearing with Drimogemon into the depths of the earth.

In the dub:

Veemon: Don't worry about it! I'll just have to Armor Digivolve. Davis, get the egg ready! Davis: Right! Emperor: (control room) Not so fast there. This is not a drill, Drimogemon. (Davis falls into the sinkhole) Tentomon: (rundown) Drimogemon lives deep inside the cavities of the Digital World. His Drill Spin attack will make you wish you were at the dentist!

Tentomon's taking some time away from being attacked by Snimon to fill in our diegetic rundowns. His original rundown for Drimogemon was practically word-for-word from the original, but he's feeling a little spicy this time around.

Veemon: Are you okay? Emperor: (control room) You're up, Mojyamon. (Mojyamon emerges from tree line) Tentomon: (rundown) Mojyamon's a frosty Digimon from the snowy mountains. His Bone Boomerang attack will make your head spin! Mojyamon: Bone Boomerang!

Both the Emperor and Tentomon were feeling very playful about Drimogemon, but then were like, "And also Mojyamon, I guess." Guess we know who the favorite on this team is.

Seeing Daisuke swallowed up by a subterranean predator rattles Miyako and Iori. Miyako drops to her knees and they both tremble in place.

Miyako: No way... He got sucked into the ground.... Iori: We... We have to help him.... Koushiro: We should escape for now. Iori: But Daisuke-san....

"Sucks to be him, but oh well." ~Koushiro, apparently.

Up in the sky, the three airborne Digimon try to keep Snimon busy. Sora grabs Miyako by the arm and tries to explain things better for Miyako and Iori.

Sora: If they capture us here, then we won't be able to rescue Daisuke and V-mon!

Despite the Child Digimon's best efforts, Snimon and Mojyamon move in and surround the children. Miyako is simply too frozen to move.

Sora: Come on, hurry up! Miyako: This is... this is... (crying) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Somebody regrets being so gungho about coming here. Now she and Mimi are on the same page. We have been here for five minutes and now Daisuke's dead probably and a yeti is going to eat our bones. What a great place to go to commercial.

In the dub:

Yolei: Oh my. They're gone. The ground just opened up and swallowed them. Cody: Well, I want to go home now. Izzy: First, we have to protect ourselves! Cody: But what about Davis? (Digimon fight Snimon in the air while Sora tries to get Yolei to move) Sora: Davis will be fine, he's got Veemon, but our Digimon are only at half strength! We've got to get away! (Mojyamon and Snimon surround them) Yolei: I can't take this! I wanna go home! (bawls loudly)

"Sucks to be him, but oh well." ~Cody, Izzy, and Sora. Absolutely nobody cares about saving Davis. Because he's Davis.

Speaking of, Daisuke wakes up to find himself suspended from a cliff above a ravine, with iron manacles around his legs and wrists.

Daisuke: This... It's.... Kaiser: (in person) You finally woke up? Daisuke: Who's there!?

The Digimon Kaiser is perched on the cliffside above Daisuke. He cranes his head up, but it's unlikely he can get a good glimpse of the guy from that angle.

Kaiser: Huhuhu.... I didn't think you'd be so easy to capture. I thought you'd be tougher than that. It's disappointing. Daisuke: Are you the Digimon Kaiser? Kaiser: That's right. Daisuke: Aren't you just a kid like me!? Kaiser: Ahahahaha! Just like you!? Don't even joke. There's a huge difference between us. Here's your proof.

The Kaiser snaps his fingers. Across the cliff, a square compartment opens up and withdraws into the cliffside, replaced by a panel with V-mon shackled to it.

I'm not entirely sure what that proves but okay, man. You do you.

Daisuke: V-mon! V-mon: Daisuke! Ehehe... (embarrassed) They caught me.... Daisuke: Damn it! If you could just Armor Evolve.... Kaiser: That won't be possible.

The Kaiser holds out Daisuke's Digivice and his little pocket computer with the Digimental.

Kaiser: You can't do anything without these. (smugly) Can. You?

What a dick! Though I should note that, historically, holding a Chosen Child's seized Digivice in your hand has rarely worked out well for their captor. But I don't expect him to understand the particulars of their gear.

The dub skips the commercial break from before and goes straight from Yolei screaming into Davis hanging from a cliff.

Davis: Huwaugh!?!? (thinking) Oh, great. I must have been walking in my sleep again.

Yep, that's it. That is definitely how you got here.

Davis: Where... Where am I? Emperor: You're just hanging out. Davis: Who are you!?

Someone who's thrilled to finally have an audience for his dad jokes.

Emperor: Ehehehe... I'm your worst nightmare come to life. Frankly, I'm rather disappointed that I was able to catch you so easily. Davis: Are you the Digimon Emperor? Emperor: Speaking! Davis: But you're a kid just like me! Emperor: Ahahahaha! I'm nothing like you, because if I were then I'd be the one hanging from a cliff. Ooh, that reminds me. (Emperor snaps, revealing Veemon) Davis: Veemon! Veemon: Davis! Hey... Great view, isn't it? Davis: I haven't had time to look! Quick, Armor Digivolve! Emperor: Uh, just one problem. (Kaiser holds out Digivice and computer) Emperor: Aren't you going to need these to pull off that little trick? Ahahahahahahahaha!!! Davis: Augh!

The dub then puts its commercial break here, on the literal cliffhanger of Davis not being able to Digivolve Veemon.

This is mostly pretty good. They're having a lot of fun writing the Digimon Emperor; He is chewing every ounce of scenery and it's great.

There's just a couple weird nonsequitur moments that fall flat. Specifically, the sleepwalking bit and Veemon's inexplicable "Hey, nice view!" They clearly wanted gags there to break up the tension of Davis literally being suspended over a cliff while the villain gloats, but the ones they came up with were more "Huh?" than funny.

The Emperor taking Davis's "just like me" a little too literally, on the other hand, is gold.

Elsewhere, in the woods, the other children have gotten away.

As they're walking, Miyako and Iori's Digivices start letting out a repeating chime. Everyone stops and checks their Digivices.

Iori: Huh? What's going on? The Digivice is reacting to something? Takeru: (speaking for him and Hikari) But our Digivices aren't reacting to it. Sora: (speaking for her and Koushiro) Same with ours. Piyomon: Could it be because of the...? Tentomon: No question about it. Sora: The...? Piyomon: Everyone, follow us.

Explaining absolutely nothing, Tentomon and Piyomon lead the confused children off into the woods.

The dub misses the repeated chime that instigated this entire scene. We just have to take Cody's word for it that it's making sounds because there are no sounds to hear.

Cody: Wait up. This Digivice you were nice enough to give me is starting to make noise. T.K.: My Digivice is going off too! I think something's nearby. Sora: A building of some sort! Biyomon: Hmm... There are no buildings around here. Tentomon: No, just the temple. Sora: Temple? Biyomon: Yeah, but it's closed down now Tentomon: They couldn't book enough weddings or bar mitzvahs. Sora: Well, something in there's making our Digivices go off and I don't think it's the caterers! Let's take a look!

...no. No, dub team. Only Cody and Yolei's Digivices are supposed to be going off. You know, because there's... There's kind of a reason why those specific Digivices would be reacting to something nearby, and no other.

There is, perhaps, something nearby that is specifically calling out to those specific children. And not to Sora, Izzy, Kari, or T.K.

Also, Sora's Digivice tells her that the reaction she's not supposed to be getting is coming from a nearby building? Did Izzy upgrade the Digivices with a three-dimensional geomap of their surroundings or something?

Piyomon and Tentomon lead the way to a great pyramid in the middle of the woods.

Koushiro: That's.... Iori: Doesn't it look like the ruins of a Mayan pyramid?

The children follow the beeping from Miyako and Iori's Digivices into the pyramid, until they come upon a central chamber with a pair of pedestals on a raised platform. Sitting on the platform are a pair of familiar looking egg-shaped artifacts.

Piyomon: Look up there, Sora! Sora: (gasp) Are those Digimentals!?

The team climbs the steps to approach the pedestals, seeing a pair of familiar Crests emblazoned on them, just as the Crest of Courage was on Daisuke's Digimental.

Iori: It's reacting to this egg-looking thing. Sora: This is the Crest of Love. Koushiro: And this is the Crest of Knowledge.

Sora and Koushiro step forward to lift their respective Digimentals, but the artifacts refuse to budge.

Sora: I can't. Koushiro: It's too heavy. (Flashback to Taichi in the playground meeting) Taichi: Daisuke easily lifted the Digimental with the Crest of Courage that I couldn't even budge. (End of flashback)

This is not a line we saw Taichi deliver, but the scene did cut away to Iori and Miyako while he delivered the recap. Contextually, this is clearly part of said recap.

Sora and Koushiro exchange silent glances, then turn to their junior partners.

Sora: You try it, Miyako-chan. Koushiro: Iori-kun too. Miyako: Me? Iori: O-Okay!

Okay, we need to talk about this for a moment because it's kind of nuts that Miyako is not designated to the Crest of Knowledge, despite literally being established as Koushiro's junior. That is one of the first things we learned about her: She's a technology whiz with a lot of admiration for her former club president Koushiro.

No, 02 has a very particular and kinda lazy way of divvying out Crests. It keeps its Crests gender-segregated. Girl Crests are for girls and boy Crests are for boys. With the main character boy Crest going to the new main character boy. Absolutely zero effort, which will be reinforced once the Digimentals of Friendship, Purity, and Sincerity enter the picture.

That's not to say Iori doesn't exhibit the values of the Crest of Knowledge. He is both curious and insightful. He's not a zero-effort character. But it's still very much an "I see what you did there, and it's lazy," thing.

And it's further wild that the characters assume this will be the case too. Regardless of who the Crests actually go to, what part of their relationships up to this point leads Koushiro to go, "Iori is definitely my understudy. It couldn't be Miyako. She and I have nothing in common." Even if Iori is the inheritor of Knowledge, not Miyako, why would Koushiro just assume that out of hand?

Now, if this were the Digimental of Purity, I could see having Miyako try that. She's demonstrated some clear Mimi-like qualities. But so far as Love and Knowledge go, all we really know about them thus far is that Miyako was in computer club under Koushiro and Iori cares a lot about his mom.

I feel like Sora and Koushiro just... made sexist assumptions, which were then validated by lazy metaphysics.

The dub gives Yolei a gag line while the kids are ascending the pyramid.

Yolei: I'm exhausted! Hasn't anybody heard of escalators!? (Entering the pyramid and approaching the shrine) Biyomon: Look at it this way, Yolei. Only a few more steps to go! Yolei: (groan)

Yolei raises a valid point. The Digital World is weird and arbitrary, and often likes to insert scattershot appliances everywhere. So there's no reason they couldn't have installed an escalator into these ancient ruins. I'm with her on this. Whoever's responsible for restocking the Egg Fridges and installing new Numemon Dispensors should get right on that.

Sora: They look like Digi-Eggs. Cody: That must be what our Digivices have been reacting to. Sora: Look! That one has the Crest of Love on it. Izzy: And that one has the Crest of Knowledge. (Izzy and Sora try, and fail) Sora: It's just no use. Izzy: We'll never be able to move them. (Flashback) Tai: I don't understand. I couldn't budge the Digi-Egg with the Crest of Courage on it but somehow Davis moved it with no problem. (End Flashback; Sora and Izzy exchange glances) Sora & Izzy: Hmm.... Sora: Yolei, I think you should try to move it. Izzy: You too, Cody. Yolei: What!? You want us to try it!? Cody: Uh, okay....

With the exception of Yolei's comical aggravation at the pyramid design, this is played pretty straight.

Miyako and Iori step up to the pedestals. As with Daisuke, they easily lift the Digimentals.

Hikari: (awed) They lifted them.... Takeru: (awed) It's just like that time with Daisuke.

The new Partner Digimon emerge from the orange and purple beams in front of Miyako and Iori respectively. They're both Child-stage Digimon in the Free attribute, like V-mon.

Like V-mon, they also seem designed to be pre-evolutions for existing Digimon. Hawkmon and his Adult form Aquilamon seem to be more natural pre-evolutions to Garudamon than Piyomon and Birdramon, while Armadimon seems to resemble a Child form for Tortomon.

Narrator: Hawkmon. A polite and cool-headed Child-stage Bird-type Digimon. Narrator: Armadimon. A charming and carefree Child-stage Mammal-type Digimon.

Their rundowns tell us a little about their personalities and nothing more. Like V-mon, these Digimon were created for the show and thus are meant to be a little mysterious. What are they? Where did they come from? These aren't answers we're going to get from the Narrator reading off their wiki entries.

In the dub, Hawkmon and the only slightly renamed Armadillomon handle their own rundowns.

Kari: They were able to lift them! T.K.: Just like Davis did yesterday! (New Digimon emerge) Hawkmon: (rundown) Ahh! It feels so good to be out from under that stuffy rock and spread my wings! Armadillomon: Howdy! Why'd ya have to wake me up? I was having such a nice dream....

Hawkmon and Armadillomon both have noticeable accents as they wake up, which seems to be how the dub intends to translate their respective "coolheaded" and "charming carefree" voices. Hawkmon speaks with a posh British accent while Armadillomon is a Texan cowboy.

Notably, Armadimon does speak with the Nagoya dialect. This doesn't really translate to a Southern drawl, which is more associated with rural folks. Nagoya is, itself, a major urban area, so something like a Bostonian accent may have been more fitting. But... Y'know... Armadillo. I can see where they were coming from.

Meanwhile, Hawkmon is a bald eagle with face paint and a feather headdress. Giving such a Native American-coded character a British voice is a remarkably tone-deaf translation choice.

It's also interesting to note that Hawkmon is the first Partner Digimon who presents the opposite gender as his Chosen Child. Inasmuch as Digimon present gender, which is to say that he has a male voice and uses masculine verbage instead of feminine verbage when speaking, unlike Palmon, Tailmon, and Piyomon.

The new Digimon proceed to introduce themselves to Miyako and Iori.

Hawkmon: My name is Hawkmon. I've been waiting for your arrival. Miyako: H-Hang on a sec.... Armadimon: (yawn) I slept well! Were you the one who woke me up? My name is Armadimon. Thanks dagyaa! Iori: Ah! Uh.... Hawkmon: Come then, Miyako-san! Let's fight together! Miyako: W-Wait a second! I can't fight! Hawkmon: Oh!? (considering) That's going to be a problem....

Weirdly, Hawkmon already knows Miyako by name even though V-mon needed Daisuke to introduce himself. Not sure if deliberate inconsistency or plot hole. Could go either way.

Right off the bat, Armadimon introduces us to some of the distinct characteristic of the Nagoya dialect: The kitty-cat speak. Nagoya speakers are stereotyped as cat-like because they pronounce ae and ai sounds as a singular "a" that other Japanese speakers hear as "ya".

This results in words like the お前 omae Armadimon uses in this sentence coming out as "omyaa". To a Tokyo ear, Armadimon basically said, "Were nyow the one who woke me up?"

We also see Armadimon's favorite sentence ender dagyaa, which serves a similar purpose to the Canadian "Eh?" or the Minnesota "Doncha know"; A habitual phrase that simply conveys that the sentence is complete, played up as a regional stereotype.

So far as I know, this is not an actual thing Nagoya dialect speakers say but instead a TV thing. In fact, all of my attempts to research dagyaa ended up circling back to "The thing that Armadimon in Digimon Adventure says."

In the dub:

Hawkmon: Greetings! My name is Hawkmon and I've been waiting to make your acquaintance. Yolei: Uh... You talking to me? Armadillomon: (yawn) Wowee, I think my shell fell asleep. Hi, I'm Armadillomon, and you and I are partners! Cody: Uh... Well.... Hawkmon: So then, Yolei, you and I shall be working together as a team. Yolei: What!? I don't fight! Except with my sister over who gets the last cookie! Hawkmon: Are you saying you refuse to fight!? Harrumph! Why do I get stuck with a defective human!?

Dub Hawkmon says nothing about fighting but Yolei assumes that's what he's talking about. Which, given what she's seen thus far, is probably a fair assumption.

Dub Hawkmon throws a fit at Yolei's refusal. The original seems to accept her opinion, and is simply troubled by its ramifications for their Partnership.

Seeing Miyako's hesitancy, Sora steps forward and places her hands around Miyako's and the Digimental. Then she shares a bit of history from her team's journey three years ago.

Miyako: Sora-san.... Sora: A girl named Mimi-chan used to say the same thing. (Flashback to Mimi) Sora: "I don't want to fight! I don't want to see anyone else get hurt!" (End flashback) Sora: I didn't want to either. But someday you'll be grateful to have met the Digimon and gone on an adventure with them. I'm certain of it. So ganbatte. Miyako: (thinking) Sora-san's hands are so warm....

As usual, ganbatte is a word that doesn't really translate well, as it refers to the Japanese cultural value of perseverance over adversity via hard work and dedication. A lot of context is encapsulated in that one word. She's telling Miyako to face the hardship Miyako fears head-on and push through.

Miyako's takeaway from that speech was "OMG She's touching me."

Now is probably a good time to mention that the fandom is approximately 135% sure that Miyako is bi as fuck. Can't imagine why.

In the dub:

Sora: Yolei.... Yolei: What is it, Sora? Sora: I have this friend. Her name is Mimi and she's a lot like you. (Flashback) Sora: She used to tell me that she didn't want to fight anymore either, even though she knew she had to. (End Flashback) Sora: She did it for the Digital World and for us. Yolei, the more you do to help your Digimon, the closer the two of you will become. And that's a friendship you'll carry with you for the rest of your life. And you've got another friend for life too: Me. Yolei: Aww!

Dub Sora loses the plot after the flashback. She suddenly shifts topics to friendship-building. The dub also skips Miyako lingering on Sora's touch; Yolei seems to be paying more attention in this one.

Alright, now it's Iori's turn for a senpai-kouhai pep talk.

Koushiro: Iori-kun, what do you think about the Digital World? Iori: What do I think? I don't know yet. I just got here. Koushiro: But you are thinking about it, aren't you? Iori: Yes... I've made a few suppositions... But new questions keep popping up one after another, and there's so many things I want to understand. Koushiro: Iori, you have a heart full of curiosity. Just as I thought. Iori: A heart full of curiosity? Koushiro: If there is anything you can't understand, please go ahead and ask. We're nakama, and we share our power. We can think together. Iori: I will!

Again, I'm not sure where Koushiro got the idea that Iori is filled with boundless curiosity. He indicates that he already suspected this. He's right, but I don't know why he knows that. The only thing Iori's said to that affect was, "What sort of place is the Digital World?" and he was alone on his balcony for that.

Miyako is the one who's been raising a fuss about how badly she wants to see the Digital World, after furiously interrogating Koushiro about it and the Digivices. Miyako's demonstrated far more curiosity up to this point than Iori has.

In the dub:

Izzy: So tell me, what do you think of the Digital World so far, Cody? Cody: I don't know. After all, I've only been here for a short time. Izzy: Well, you must have some sort of opinion. Cody: Well... I try not to make up my mind until I have all the information but this place is so new to me, I have so many unanswered questions. I'm afraid I don't know where to start first. Izzy: You seem like a curious kid who just wants to know all the facts. Sounds like someone I know. Cody: What should I do? Izzy: Do just what I did: Learn to trust your instincts. And if there's a problem you can't solve, just come to me, and you and I will solve it together. Cody: Okay!

..."Trust your instincts"? Who are you and what did you do with Izzy? That's. Not. A thing. He does. Koushiro/Izzy trusts his ever-expanding knowledge base.

Encouraged by their mentors, Miyako and Iori turn towards their new Partner Digimon, clutching the Digimentals.

Hawkmon: So, Miyako-san, Iori-kun, please yell "DIGIMENTAL UP!!!" Iori & Miyako: DIGIMENTAL UP!!!

I know we just met these two less than three minutes ago but nonetheless, Hawkmon and Armadimon ARMOR SHINKAAAAAA!!!

With the Digimental of Love, Hawkmon evolves into Horusmon. Who has teeny-tiny Hawkmon wings that certainly could not lift a creature of that size, and it's kind of hilarious.

Nobody knows how to translate Horusmon and it gives me cancer. The official romanization is Holsmon, which is only slightly better than the dub's Halsemon. But this isn't like Centarumon where they misspelled it in Japanese. ホルスモン is literally ホルス Horusu モン mon, named for the falcon-headed Egyptian deity Horus. Who apparently neither the dub team nor the official romanization team have ever heard of.

So it's Holsmon in the Digimon Reference Guide, it's Holsmon in Wikimon, it's Holsmon in the subtitles. And I want to throw things. Because it's Horusmon.

In any case, Horusmon is an Armor-stage Free-attribute Beast-type Digimon.

Horusmon: Flapping Love, Horusmon! Narrator: Horusmon! A Beast-type Digimon that excels at aerial combat. He releases shockwaves from his wings with his special attack, Mach Impulse!

Excels at aerial combat despite those teeny-ass wings that aren't even attached at the right place. I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing at them. They look vestigial as fuck, and they don't even flap when he flies. In fact, nothing about him flaps which really calls into question the title of Flapping Love.

The Digimental of Knowledge makes Armadimon into Digmon, whose hands are scissors made of drills. Frankly, that is the scariest design in the show thus far. His face is a drill and he has drill scissors. Also he's an insect for some reason? Antennae and gossamer wings. For when you need to drill the sky.

Armor-stage Free-attribute Insect-type Digimon. There's not really a lot to say here with Armor evos. They're all Armor stage and Free attribute.

Digmon: Steel Knowledge, Digmon! Narrator: Digmon! An Insect-type Digimon that is unbeatable underground. He attacks with all of his drills at once using his special attack Gold Rush.

I'd rather he didn't. That sounds unbelievably gruesome.

As the children stare in awe at their new Armor Digimon, Horusmon interjects.

Horusmon: Now, let's go save our teammates (nakama).

In the dub:

Hawkmon: I beg your pardon, but in order for us to Armor Digivolve you must say "Digi-Armor Energize". Yolei & Cody: Digi-Armor Energize!

Huge inconsistency with the fact that Hawkmon needs to tell them that but Davis instantly knew it without being informed. But no more inconsistent than Hawkmon and Armadimon knowing Miyako and Iori's names when V-mon didn't know Daisuke's.

Halsemon: Halsemon, the Wings of Love. Halsemon: (rundown) I am an Armor Digimon. As Hawkmon, I used the Digi-Egg of Love to Armor Digivolve. I use my Tempest Wing attack to defeat my enemies.

"Wings of Love" is not what he's called, but I'll allow it because it's actually better than Flapping Love. They got a little poetic with 羽ばたく愛情 Habataku Aijou, and the dub is better off for it.

His rundown, on the other hand, completely sucks. He says absolutely nothing.

Digmon: Digmon, the Drill of Power. Digmon: (rundown) I, too, am an Armor Digimon. As Armadillomon, I used the Digi-Egg of Knowledge to Armor-Digivolve. Digmon: Now whaddya say we go find the others?

Digmon's rundown is even worse, and he also missed the memo that his title is supposed to have the Crest Virtue in it. There is no Crest of Power, Digmon. Are you embarrassed to be associated with Izzy? Because that's fair, he's an awful adaptation, but still.

Back at the cliffside, Daisuke and V-mon are still hanging out.

Daisuke: Damn it! Give me back my Digivice! Let V-mon go! Kaiser: That's not going to happen. This is what happens when you trespass in someone else's garden. I'm going to let you see the moment when your Digimon becomes my pawn.

The Kaiser snaps his fingers, conjuring one of those black rings.

(Rude. You're not allowed to throw Poke Balls at another Trainer's monster. At least play the game correctly.)

Daisuke: STOP IT!!! Kaiser: Huhuhuhuhu.... V-mon: Heh, go ahead and try, but I'll never be a minion of yours! Kaiser: What did you say?

As the black ring slowly approaches V-mon, he continues to reject the Kaiser's claim.

V-mon: I waited for so long... I waited for such a long time to meet Daisuke... I'm not about to become your minion now that I've finally met him! Daisuke: V-mon.... Kaiser: Then we'll just try it now. Daisuke: STOP IT!!!

A small translation note. The subs here use the word "slave". The Kaiser is going to make V-mon his "slave". But the word for that is 奴隷 dorei.

The actual word that the Kaiser and V-mon are tossing back and forth is 手下 teshita, which means his subordinate, his underling, his henchmon. Much softer terminology than "slave".

While the effects of the black ring are clearly to enslave Digimon, this choice of language may indicate that the Kaiser doesn't think of what he's doing as slavery. In his mind, he's just... going to make V-mon work for him. He's catching a new Pokemon.

Or it could just be the word choice of the moment. We'll keep an eye on that moving forward.

In the dub:

Davis: Gimme back my Digivice! And let Veemon go! He has nothing to do with this! Emperor: Yeah, right! You've both been trespassing in my garden without my permission. And as your punishment, you'll be forced to watch Veemon as he becomes my slave. (Emperor summons the Dark Ring) Davis: VEEMON, NO!!! Emperor: Ahahahahahaha! Veemon: Ha! You'll never get me to be your slave! You might as well destroy me right now and get it over with! Emperor: As you wish. (Dark Ring begins its approach) Veemon: Hey, take it easy, I was just kidding! Come on, old buddy, don't you know a good joke when you hear one? You know, a little comedy to lighten the mood. Haha, funny guy Veemon, c'mon! Davis: Veemon, no.... Emperor: I don't hear anyone laughing now, Veemon! Davis: LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

Oh hey, they kept the flowery "trespassing in someone's garden" line. Good job.

The dub goes for the slave terminology, so no hypothetical nuance there. We'll reserve judgment for that based on whether that's actually a point of the Kaiser's characterization or not.

What was V-mon making a verbal last stand, defiantly shouting down the Kaiser and refusing to accept his fate even as inevitability comes for him, is now Veemon pathetically pleading for his life. Thanks, I hate it. Partner Digimon of Courage, everybody.

Suddenly, at the last moment, the cavalry arrives.

Horusmon: RED SUN!!!

Horusmon's Red Sun attack is a pair of red beams fired from his eyes. On impact with the black ring, they explode in the shape of an identifiable red sphere.

(Of note: Among his many domains, Horus is a sun god.)

Kaiser: What the--!? Miyako: DAISUKE!!! Daisuke: Miyako!

Miyako rides into battle mounted on Horusmon's back. While all eyes are on her, Digmon suddenly erupts through the wall behind V-mon, catching him with his adorable little scoopy legs.

Digmon: We're here to rescue you! V-mon: You saved me!

You're just lucky those aren't even more drills, V-mon.

In the dub:

Halsemon: TEMPEST WING!!! (Halsemon destroys the Dark Ring) Emperor: Who's that!? Yolei: DAVIS, HOLD ON!!! Davis: Save Veemon! (Digmon saves Veemon) Digmon: Sorry to burst in on ya like this! Veemon: You coulda knocked!

I guess Red Sun is Tempest Wing. I thought Mach Impulse was going to be Tempest Wing.

They're probably doing that dub thing where all of a Digimon's attacks have the one name for some reason.

Seeing which way the wind is blowing, the Kaiser decides to withdraw.

Kaiser: Hmph.

He turns to go, but finds Tailmon standing in his path.

Tailmon: I won't let you pass. Wormmon: I won't let you lay a finger on Ken-chan!

Out of nowhere, his little caterpillar minion steps in. Wormmon never gets a rundown so now's a good time to go over him. Wormmon is a Child-stage Larva-type Digimon. He's also a Free-attribute Digimon created for the show like V-mon, Hawkmon, and Armadimon.

You may notice that he does not have a black ring anywhere on him. He's also distinct for being the only Digimon among the Kaiser's forces to address him by his real name. It's easy to guess why; It's pretty obvious what his relationship to Ken-chan is.

Wormmon goes full-offense, lunging at--

Tailmon: NEKO PUNCH!!!

Tailmon punches Wormmon in his useless-ass face and sends him hurtling back into the Kaiser. The impact knocks Daisuke's Digivice and pocket computer out of the Kaiser's hands.

Kaiser: CRAP!!!

Daisuke's gear plunge into the chasm. Horusmon passes by and Miyako catches them out of the air.

Miyako: (pleasantly, in English) Thank you!

XD Miyako is the best. Also, poor Wormmon. He tries.

In the dub:

Emperor: Hmph! (Emperor tries to leave, finds Gatomon waiting for him) Gatomon: This litterbox ain't big enough for the both of us. Wormmon: Keep your claws to yourself, you big bully! (Wormmon lunges) Gatomon: (silently punches Wormmon) (Wormmon slams into the Emperor and sends Davis's gear flying) Emperor: You're useless! (Yolei catches the gear) Yolei: (pleasantly) Thank you!

The dub seems to be avoiding having Wormmon address Ken-chan by name. I think they're trying to keep him as an ominous and mysterious force of evil. The original, on the other hand, wants you to be thinking about the fact that, at the end of the day, this guy really is just some kid like Daisuke. Underneath the wicked shades and sick cloak and vile personality, there's a human boy named Ken-chan.

Furious, the Kaiser turns on Tailmon.

Kaiser: OUT OF MY WAY!!!

The Kaiser grapples Tailmon with his whip, then flings her off the cliff behind him.

Okay, yeah, the fact that this was a fight he could win means that was a pretty major whoopsy-doodle on Wormmon's part. Wormmon is actually less formidable than Ken-chan.

Kaiser: COME OUT, SNIMON!!! MOJYAMON!!! DRIMOGEMON!!!

The Kaiser's forces emerge from region around him. Snimon rises into the air, Mojyamon comes out from his hiding place in the rocks, and Drimogemon bursts forth from the earth.

As he's regrouping, the Chosen Children do the same. Daisuke descends the cliffside to join the group; Who freed him from his shackles and why they didn't bring him down themselves is unclear. Tentomon carries Tailmon safely to the ground to join the group as well.

Daisuke: That Digimon Kaiser...! Miyako: Here. (hands of Daisuke's gear) Daisuke: (English) Oh! Thank you! (Japanese) Alright, let's start our counterattack! Let's go, V-mon! V-mon: Yeah! Daisuke: DIGIMENTAL UP!!!

V-mon Armor Evolves into Fladramon and joins the fray.

In the dub:

Emperor: Here, kitty! (Emperor throws Gatomon off the cliff) Emperor: SNIMON!!! MOJYAMON!!! DRIMOGEMON!!! (The Emperor's forces emerge while the DigiDestined regroup) Yolei: Here ya go. Davis: Thanks a lot, Yolei. Now it's time for a little payback. Whaddya say, Veemon? Veemon: Yeah! Davis: DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!!!

Solid.

The two sides mobilize their forces. The Kaiser sends Snimon in to attack.

Horusmon: Hang on tight, Miyako-san. Miyako: Okay!

Horusmon takes flight. No flapping is involved.

Fladramon: Destroy those black rings! Do that and they'll all return to their senses. Horusmon: Got it!

While Horusmon flies up to engage Snimon, Drimogemon attempts to conceal themself underground. Digmon puts his own drills to work and pursues.

(Ludicrous as Digmon's drills are, it's worth noting that Drimogemon has far more. Both Drimogemon's front and hind legs have three drill fingers apiece, plus the narwhal horn drill in the center of their face. So, so many drills.)

Digmon: You won't get away!

That leaves one opponent remaining for Fladramon.

Mojyamon: ICICLE ROD!!!

Mojyamon hurls an icicle spear at Fladramon.

Fladramon: Ice against fire.

Fladramon blazes up his claw and catches the spear, melting it into water.

Mojyamon: O_O Fladramon: KNUCKLE FIRE!!!

Fladramon's counterattack ignites Mojyamon, setting every last surface of the hairy beast on fire. Which happens to also destroy the black ring. I guess that's one way to do it. I sure hope someone's got water handy to put out the flames now.

Daisuke: YOU DID IT, FLADRAMON!!!

In the dub:

Halsemon: Better hold on tight to me. Yolei: Okay! (Halsemon flies off to fight Snimon) Flamedramon: Let's show them what Armor Digimon can do against the slaves of the Emperor! Halsemon: ATTACK!!! (Drimogemon goes underground) Digmon: (wordlessly pursues) Mojyamon: ICE CLOUD!!! (Mojyamon throws the decidedly un-cloudlike spear) Flamedramon: When it's fire against ice, fire always wins. (Flamedramon catches and melts the spear) Mojyamon: O_O Flamedramon: FIRE ROCKET!!! (Flamedramon sets Mojyamon on fucking fire and also destroys the Dark Ring) Davis: Yeah! You destroyed the Dark Ring, Flamedramon!

They cut out the part where Flamedramon tells the two newbies how to fight these guys. Do they just... all somehow know what Dark Rings are?

Rather than explain what they need to do in order to end this fight with minimal harm, Flamedramon boasts, "Yeah, let's fuck these slaves up!" Like, he is stoked to beat the shit out of some mind-controlled puppets. Tonally, this is exactly wrong.

Though it does better match what they, uh... proceed to do in the fight.

The icicle spear is not a cloud. It in no way resembles a cloud. To be fair, it's not a rod either. It's more of a spike than anything else. Everybody is wrong here.

That's one adversary down. Two to go.

As Horusmon closes distance, Snimon fires off a pair of Shadow Sickle blades. With one blade forming a \ shape and the other in a /, it will be difficult to dodge them both. But Horusmon is up to the task, doing a barrel roll in midair to skate past both shots.

Closeup of Miyako screaming at the top of her lungs when gravity momentarily stops being friendly to her riding experience.

Horusmon: MACH IMPULSE!!!

Once past Snimon's attack, Horusmon lets off his Mach Impulse, which takes the shape of two crescent blades parallel to one another fired from his Digimental helmet's wings.

Once his shots are away, Horusmon breaks off his approach and descends into the canyon. The attacks continue forward, with one blade precisely skirting past Snimon's midsection and carving away the black ring without harm to Snimon.

Miyako: You did it, Horusmon!

In the dub, Snimon calls their attack.

Snimon: TWIN SICKLES!!! (Halsemon evades with a barrel roll, freaking out Yolei) Halsemon: Time for TEMPEST WING!!! (Halsemon shoots and breaks off, hitting his mark) Yolei: You did it, Halsemon!

Yeah, they had to do the Togemon "add words to attack name" thing for Mach Impulse. You'd think they wouldn't. It has the same number of syllables as Tempest Wing. In theory.

But in Japanese, Mach Impulse has six. Ma-hha-In-pa-ru-su. So we're at Chiku-Chiku Bang-Bang/Check out my Needle Spray all over again.

Deep underground, Digmon is waiting to ambush Drimogemon.

Drimogemon bursts into a subterannean chamber to find Digmon already there, in position and ready to fire.

Digmon: GOLD RUSH!!!

Digmon lets off all five of his drills as missiles, which strike his target dead-on and explode on impact. Uh, if his target was Drimogemon's face, as not one of the drill missiles even comes close to the black ring.

Fortunately, while blowing Drimogemon the fuck up, he inflicts enough splash damage to break the ring too.

(Horusmon was the only one paying attention when Fladramon said to shoot for the black rings, including Fladramon.)

Digmon does not get a verbal pat on the back from Iori as nobody can see this happening. The Kaiser does seem to have made it back to his control room, however, as we briefly cut to him reflecting on his defeat.

Kaiser: Huhuhuhu... Not bad. It wouldn't be any fun otherwise....

In the dub, Digmon takes advantage of his lack of lip flaps to quip at Drimogemon before firing:

Digmon: I guess we're the drill team! GOLD RUSH!!! (Digmon blows up Drimogemon and also succeeds incidentally) Emperor: (control room) Hehehehehehe! They're better than I thought! This makes things a lot more interesting!

Goddammit, Digmon. XD

With the three Digimon released from bondage, the Chosen Children see them on their way.

V-mon: Are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't have any other choice. Mojyamon: No, this doesn't hurt nearly as much as the agony of being the Digimon Kaiser's minion.

Okay, since Mojyamon also uses the term 手下 teshita, I think we can safely assume it's just the show's particular word-choice for the Digimon's enslavement and not a specific point of characterization for the Kaiser.

I'd guess they're probably dialing down the language because Children's Cartoon. Similar to how 殺す korosu, "kill", is used sparingly.

As the three liberated Digimon depart, the children unpack.

Daisuke: That Digimon Kaiser is a jerk! Wow, I am so pissed off right now! Hawkmon: Miyako-san. Daisuke: Eh?

No one cares how mad you are, Daisuke. XD

Hawkmon: Moving forward, will you continue to lend me your power? Miyako: Sure, I'll be with you to the end. Armadimon: Iori, I look forward to getting to know you dagyaa. Iori: (politely) I look forward to that as well. Sora: From now on, they'll have to ganbatte in our place. Koushiro: No, we have to ganbaru as well. Piyomon: That's right, Sora. We have to do it too. Tentomon: We can't let the younger generation pass us by! Sora: I guess you're right.

Sorry, Sora, but you ain't getting out that easy.

Remember that speech Sora gave that Miyako wasn't listening to because she was too busy Gay Panic Blue-Screening over Sora touching her? It makes that scene even funnier when you realize that, despite her beautiful words, all Sora actually meant by it was "Yesssssss I'm FREEEEEEEEEEE."

Neither of them was correctly invested in this sweet mentor/pupil torch-passing moment.

In the dub:

Veemon: Sorry we had to fight you but we had to get rid of the Dark Rings. I hope we're still buds. Mojyamon: It's okay. Thanks for saving us! Being the Emperor's slave was the worst! All day long, it's "Destroy this", "Destroy that", "Get me a Cappuccino". Oy!

Toning down the part about "the agony of being his servant" and making it a laugh line instead.

Davis: He makes me so mad! Digimon Emperor... I'll show him who's in charge around here! Hawkmon: Settle down. Davis: Huh!? Hawkmon: So, Yolei, will I be able to count on your assistance from now on? Yolei: Absolutely! 100% Armadillomon: And will we be a team, Cody, when I'm not nappin'? Cody: Of course. I'd be honored to be your partner. Sora: Well, it looks like the new DigiDestined team doesn't need us around anymore. Izzy: I don't know. I still think we have a lot of work ahead of us. Biyomon: We can still help them fight the Emperor. Tentomon: And we can also provide them with advice and guidance! Sora: What a team!

"I'll show him who's in charge"? Davis, are you trying to dethrone the Digimon Emperor or supplant him?

Hawkmon directly addresses Davis and tells him to shut up. In the original, they ignore him, prompting his reaction when nobody cares about his outrage.

The funny moment where Sora tries to quit and gets dogpiled by the crew is dialed down to a casual discussion of whether the older kids can still be of use.

Well, it looks like we're done here. Time to get going.

Daisuke: Alright, let's head home! Kaiser: (control room) So, which Digimon do I want to play with next...?

As the kids return through the Gate, Taichi finally gets away from his former teacher.

Taichi: Ugh, I'm beat... Fujiyama-sensei never stops talking....

Taichi sees the bright light from the Gate opening and hears various screams and crashes. He rushes into the clubroom, finding the others once again in a tangled pile of limbs, now with their Partner Digimon in the mix.

V-mon, Hawkmon, and Armadimon have all regressed to Baby stages, though Patamon and Tailmon remain in their base forms.

Taichi: Is everyone okay!? Team: (groaning) We're fine.... Taichi: You brought the Digimon with you!? Daisuke: Eh? (notices Chibimon on his head) HUH!?!? Miyako: (hugs Poromon) AHHHHHH SO CUTE!!! Iori: (observing Upamon) We didn't bring them with us. They just followed us. But why did they take this form? Hikari: They must have regressed to their Baby stages. Patamon: But we didn't change. Takeru: That could be because our Digivices are different. Sora: Huh? What about Piyomon and Tentomon? Piyomon: Soraaaaa! Sora: Hm?

The kids turn their attention to the screen, seeing that Tentomon and Piyomon remain in the Digital World. They did not follow the children through the Gate.

They continue casually having this conversation while tangled up in the limb pile. Except poor Koushiro who's stuck in Family Guy Death Pose.

Piyomon: Sora, we're going to investigate what we can about the Digimon Kaiser. Tentomon: We'll let you know if we find anything. Sora: Sounds good. Be careful and don't do anything reckless. Koushiro: Guys... I'm sorry but... PLEASE GET OFF OF ME!!!

Koushiro's comical despair sees us out for the episode.

In the dub:

Davis: Well, it's time to go home!

The dub skips over the Kaiser's brief moment and goes straight to the return to the human world.

Tai: The birds and the bees, huh? Thanks Mr. Fujiyama! (exits) Boy, when it comes to girls, this guy has a lot to learn. Huh!? (Bright light flash in the computer room, with screaming and crashing) Tai: What happened to you guys!? Team: Please don't ask. Tai: The new Digimon returned to their In-Training forms! Davis: Huh!? Augh! Yolei: Wow! He's so cute! Cody: I don't understand how this little fella can turn himself into such a great big creature like Digmon. Kari: Are we gonna have to do this every time we come back? Patamon: And I thought Digivolving was a tough job! T.K.: Well, at least we made it back to the real world safe and sound. Sora: Hmm, except Biyomon and Tentomon. Biyomon: Sora! Sora: (silently turns to look) Biyomon: Don't worry. We'll both be safe here because the Digimon Emperor never comes out at night. Tentomon: Imagine! All that power and he's afraid of the dark. Sora: Well, get some rest. You'll need it for tomorrow. Davis: Yeah! That's when we'll go back to the Digital World and beat that Digimon Emperor once and for all!

As we zoom out from the school, they then superimpose the cut shot of the Kaiser over the scene as if to imply that he's somehow monitoring this conversation.

Emperor: Oh, really? Well excuse me if I don't start shaking in my boots! Narrator: What does the Digimon Emperor have in store for the new DigiDestined? Find out on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters!

What the fuck? Okay, dub team. Sure.

Setting that aside. The dub seems to imply that they brought the Digimon home on purpose. Nobody's surprised by their presence, only their regression. For reasons unclear, Biyomon and Tentomon weren't able to make it through the Gate. They will not be doing anything useful, and are just... not in danger, even though we couldn't take them with us for some reason.

On the plus side, Tai spent this whole episode having what was apparently an F-tier sex talk. XD Dipshit Tai can call him out on how bad his understanding of women is! And he threw up in Sora's hat and didn't tell her once! I guess Fujiyama must be a manosphere bro.

Assessment: Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say this: Sora feels wrong in this episode. I touched on it earlier with the Digimentals, but I feel like her role here was written for Mimi.

It's weird that Sora instantly pegs Miyako as having exhibited Love qualities when Knowledge and Purity are the qualities we've actually seen from her thus far.

Miyako's freakout about becoming a Chosen Child requires Sora to tell an anecdote about Mimi's growth and development as if it were her own.

The funny closing moment where Sora tries to seize the opportunity to bail on all this Digital World nonsense and everyone has to shout her down feels like a Mimi moment. Sora's never been like that before.

This feels like a Mimi episode with Sora accidentally reskinned over her.

Nonetheless, 02's setup continues. The children have met the Digimon Kaiser in person for the first time, as well as unlocked two more Digimentals. There's still a lot of details to come, but we're well on our way to a full team of next-gen Chosen Children.

[halevren]

Never Stop Blowing Up Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 1

Oh we are so back chat. I will do my best to do this for all 10 episodes but honestly? It's all up to my mental health 🔥🔥

Honestly I'm already on the verge of tears after learning that Brennan made this season as a homage to Izzy.... THAT'S SO SWEET 😭😭😭

INTRO IS SO COOL!!!!!

HELLO ONE AND ALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

HI AMAZING ACTION STARSSSSS

This cast is so loaded I'm so in love with it

lovely cardigan!

I like the DM screen it's so neat

Ify looks like he just came from the season finale of FHJY

TURBO TOKENNNN 🔥🔥🔥

Rekha's hair looks so incredible, those curls are PERFECT

what flavor of monster. what's the new flavor. I need this world building info Brennan please

Dave's video world

fun fact my favorite race car is a charger. I don't know anything about them and can't recognize then but very often I have pointed out a car to my mom like "that's a nice car" and 9 times out of 10 it's a charger 😭😭

Wendell Morris I fw you

the captions not being accurate is lowkey annoying but whatever.

UC Irvine

I love Jake's laugh so much

"You can't spend your whole life playing dodo games" "it's Dota 2..."

Liv Skyler!

5'6 perfect height for a woman— actually any height is good be whatever height your heart desires

Liv is a klepto. real as hell (sorry)

Webster's is trash

"You never know Ms. D" "No, I know."

Take it back. Take it back.

WENDELL IS PAINFULLY AWKWARD I LOVE HIM

Floppy-droppy disk

Kingskin is so calm as he crushes somebody

This is Usha, she is 100 years old

I would die for Usha

"Who are you calling?" "I'm tryna call everybody."

I love Usha so goddamn much

"Everybody you see, say hi"

does everyone have 4s across the board for abilities

need to unplug to save battery

DAVE 🔥🔥🔥

🤘🤘

NO DIAL TONE BECAUSE SHE UNPLUGGED IT

Usha, you're my rock

ALLY AND JAKE UNCLE AND NEPHEW DUO

Russell I think I'm romantically attracted to you

ok chill russell

"That bastard made it..."

"A lot of positive sentiments from contents not in your phone." 😭

Jennifer is giving me a strange sense of gender envy as someone who doesn't identify with gender

God I love Cait May's art

Tough Kill

CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT

"Hey guys, sorry I'm on time"

Pants are more patches than pants

More patch than pant

MY NAUGHTY LITTLE DREAM LAND

All these characters are incredible how could I ever choose a fav (I think Usha is my fav. She's special to my heart)

Greg Stocks 📈

Mr. Everybody

Lunch dates all the time

PURRS????

A TON OF SPERM

PAULA

buxom

USHA UNPLUGGED THE CAMERAS ON THE ROOF

YOU WANNA RIP MY CARPET

slamming it down like a laptop

TOUGH KILL 🔥🔥

Jack Manhattan

I love Izzy so so much

"You calling me a chicken, Johan? because I'm actually the cock of the walk."

THIS CAST IS PERFECT

Are you doing menopause???

This is the best cast for bits

He's not jacking off, just talking to the alien

Rashab

He's in me and I'm him

he was 100% getting eaten by a snake

A LOT OF MEDICINES

BLUE LEMONADE CALYPSO!!! REAL AS HELL!! BEST FLAVOR

"Favorite movies:

Never stop blowing up

Never stop blowing up

Never stop blowing up"

The constrast between Usha and Paula with Barsimmeon

WENDALL COMING IN CLUTCH WITH THE ALIBI

Brennan said the title, roll the credits

YOU NEED TO ROLL AN 8 ON A D4

COCAINE BABY

"That's cocaine."

SIXXXX EXPLOSION

This is so cool

RASHAB IS REAL

HOW AM I RUNNING SO FAST AND HARD

The scene story boards are so cool

I LOVE USHA

"DID IT WORK??????"

the latex is so loud

HOPE YOU ENJOY THE LATE FEES? THAT BUFF GUY WAS BARSIMMEONS?

NEXT EPISODE IS THE LEATHER JACKET

I'm so excited

This season will be my favorite

[jordanraye47]

Izzy headcanons that aren’t an entire fic🔥

Answers scam callers the best way possible “hi welcome to Pete’s roadkill pizzeria where yesterdays loss is todays sauce, how may o help you?” Like that’s her duty

Considering she’s a literal famous actor, she probably has a social media accounts, and even though she rarely posts, when she does, she’s on the damn edge of being canceled.

^ “damn getting arrested for no reason🔥 guess orangre really is the new black”

Speaking of spelling mistakes (no I don’t know how to spell organge), she has dyslexia.

She’s not th favourite kid we could all tell.

Regardless of how much she smiles normally, she can not for the life of her smile for pictures. So 90% of the time her pictures looks like an alien that hasn’t quite figured out where they are, or just a thumbs up.

Thst or that stupid Lin manuela (I think that’s his name) pose.

Speaks crazy many languages, including ASL

She has very good curls, just doesn’t care to take manage them (yes this is me being desperate for representation of girls with curly hair that doesn’t know how to mangene them)

That and the reason she wears the bathing cap is because chlorine FUCKS UP curly hair oh my gosh soaking from experience 🙏

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Scarlett is her older sister.

dicorced nightgown porch cigarette mom and Texan truck motel dad that doesn’t give a shit what their kids do.

Always slightly thrown off when someone is nice to her bushes so used to Noah and Eva’s “mean love” or whatever you call it.

This girl did NOT have friends in school she BIT the other students

Favorite subject is art and sience (I have dyslexia you stuf don’t correct me)

So smart and also so stupid ^ “so what’s the square root of 589 iz?” “24.269.” “ok so do you think Pluto should be considered a planet?” “No of course not he’s a dog. Did you not watch Mickey Mouse”

“Parents got confused and chose daughter on anti-psychotics”

deadass i think her pshycosis is a genuine problem to her but it’s so easy to take it as a joke so she just goes along. (Read “artificial lawns” on AO3 by necrosys its very well explained there)

Has THE most vile t-shirts ever and she wears them in public with a pair of long ads jorts like she’d Adam sandler

Like these <33 - she lives on a farm it’s true she told me

She’s actually pretty funny she just can’t tell a joke without laughing at it herself

She is banned from the kitchen in every kitchen in the world

Izzy Cody and Duncan would be such a fucked up trio I’d love them

I got this from @kijosakka but she’s a really good braided us give her like 20 minutes.

Still has all her baby teeth in a jar

I wanna write some angsty ones so bad but I’m not putting you guys through all that.

I truly believe that Heather and Izzy used to be so good friends but after Heather got a teste of sweet popularity she didn’t hesitate to leave Izzy behind.

She has a secret room in her room

Snacks on yogurt and frozen fruit

She’s covered in freckles so badly like it’s top to toe

Can raise one eyebrow

her mother or herself are the only ones that cut her hair

^ and she has probably never been to a proper hairdresser

That’s all i have for today don’t forget to like and subscribe if you want morir epic content 🔥🔥

[swiftsdelucaa]

Could I please have an imagine where the reader is the younger sister of Derek Shepard (by a year) and is a neurosurgeon like her brother. She starts working at the hospital a few weeks after her brother. Every guy starts to flirt with her but she is obviously not interested. Derek finds this hysterical (because his sister is obviously into women). Then she meets Izzie Stevens and is immediately smitten with her. Izzie is also smitten with her. They begin to flirt relentlessly and end up getting together secretly. Nobody finds out until one morning after she stays over at Izzie’s the night before. She and Izzie are kissing in the kitchen when Meredith and Derek walk in. Everyone finds out after this. (I feel like this would be hilarious.) fluff with a little bit of angst please?

❛ 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Izzie Stevens x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: I love her, she's so underrated!! I hope you'll enjoy it!

You would never have thought that working with your brother would be pleasant, being the eldest you would have thought that he would treat you like a child or that he would rather take on the more interesting cases. But it was fun, together you were a very strong team. You liked working in this place, you were fine. Except that a lot of guys were always flirting with you, like Mark, Jackson, Andrew, Owen and then Derek with some of his friends. Yeah he did that thing where he took over your life, but you hated it. Well it could certainly be said that you were beautiful and smart, but all this just annoyed you.

As if that weren't enough your stupid brother came to ask you about why you didn't want to go out with anyone, not that you didn't want to, but he seemed to do it on purpose. It's just lesbianism.

Some evenings you went out on your own to the bar, you spent time, you made new acquaintances. Until one day you ran into a girl who hit you right away. She was beautiful, nice, with that long blond hair and that light in her eyes that immediately made you think 'I absolutely must know this woman'. Izzie Stevens, that was her name, and you certainly could never forget it.

The first night she has already had made you feel something, you had left her your number hoping she would call you, and so it had been. Then working you discovered that she was part of the group of residents, and it was a surprise. It is difficult to remain professional after all that pleasant time you spent together.

Well you could tell that ever since you met her you felt happy, and the thing that made you feel better was the fact that she seemed to feel the same way about you. But you still preferred to keep things a secret, it seemed more exciting and you held it more responsible considering the work factors. Even if there was no shortage of flirting. Let's say that you were the one creating the most tension, you just had to get closer than expected starting to whisper a few words to her and Izzie would start biting her lower lip trying to stay focused. But at the end of the day and shifts she liked to catch up on what you left off during the day.

It seemed that as time went by she was getting more serious, sometimes you even tended to spend whole days together at your house, because in hers there were her friends, and no one didn't know yet. But she wouldn't continue to be a guest, she wanted to invite you to her, make you feel like a queen and let you try all the recipes in the world. So you couldn't do anything but accept.

Even she didn't mind that your affair might have gone public, she made sure the house was free of everyone so you could pass the time in any way you could, and you were relieved about that.

You came down from the room attracted by a delicious smell coming from the kitchen, finding your beautiful girlfriend cooking something of very good of course.

"So you're cheating on me with the sweets?" you asked laughing as you hugged her from behind.

"Oh instead I think that after you taste some of this you'll want to marry me" she said smiling and turning to you to kiss you.

"Woah, hi" Derek and Meredith surprised you in the kitchen. You hadn't even heard them. "When did you think to telling me?" Derek added.

"We..." you began to find some excuses. "We was... uhm, she just wanted me to taste some things..." you said.

"What, her tongue?" Meredith said smiling and making Derek laugh.

"Wh- no, shut up!" Izzie just looked at you confused as you kept to invent weird excuses. She didn't understand why.

"Oh, you're not wearing your pants" Derek pointed. It was true, you only had a long sweater that reached down to your knees.

"I don't need them, I'm okay like this" you replied indifferent.

"Yeah, I think Izzie agrees" they looked so amused, this just annoyed you so much. You turned to Izzie, noticing her eyes shining at you.

"Is our relationship a burden to you? I'm so sorry if I bother you so much" she put the ladle down on the table rather hard, and walked away from the kitchen towards the stairs.

Meredith and Derek finally called it quits having noticed that the situation had become more serious.

"Izzie!" you called her in vain, so you followed her to her room. She was sitting on the bed, she looked so sad. In fact, you realized that treating her like this wasn't nice of you, you hurt her, and now seeing her like this hurt you, making you feel guilty.

"Hey..." you sat next to her taking her hand which she quickly withdrew.

"If you don't care about us, about me it's okay, you should say it" she told you standing up and looking at your face.

"Don't say it, I care Izzie, a lot" you approached her stroking her cheek, but she still walked away from you.

"When I care about a person I show it, because I like to make them feel loved and wanted, but you don't. You hide us like you're ashamed…and that's not a good feeling Y/n” she told you as you looked at the floor. Then you looked into her eyes again.

"I… I'm not good at it…showing my feelings… it's not one of my best traits. I always get paranoid about everything, prejudices, or future problems. I know maybe it's bad, you're not the problem, it's me..." you sat on the bed. After a few minutes, she approached you again.

"I want to make it work, you made me fall in love" you smiled as she ran a hand through your hair.

"I want it too" you gave her a light kiss on her lips, which she deepened in approval. Your hands roamed over her body, pulling her closer to you, while hers remained in your hair. She made you fall in love too.

[he-goes-down]

There Was A Time:

A/n: OMG SORRY IF THIS IS HORRIBLE IM SICK AND MY HEAD BE FLOATING

ENJOY THO

Pervious chapters/ warnings

3. Nice Boys:

Second person POV:

You woke up to the sound of clattering and clanging in the kitchen. You rubbed your eyes and groaned, when you opened them, you realised that you were in Duff's room. "What the fuck!" You yelled, but it was soft as your voice was still waking up as well. You aggressively lifted the covers and looked down. 'Phew, my clothes are still on.' You sighed a sigh of relief. You didn't remember how you got to Duff's bed, but hopefully nothing happened. 'Okay back to bed' All that strong panic and crashing relief so early in the morning made you tired. You took the covers and laid down, holding them to your shoulder and closed your eyes. The idea of getting more sleep started crashing down when there was a loud knock on the door. "Wake up we need you in the kitchen!" The person on the other side yelled. You groaned in annoyance and turned over, flipping open the covers and getting out of bed. The cold air hitting your feet and arms made you shiver, you opened the door to see Izzy standing there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes widen, he was surprised to see you come out of Duff's room. "Where's Duff?" He asked, rather rudely as he looked you up and down. He probably thought the same thing you panicked about this morning. "I don't know." You responded, "What do you need help with?" You asked as you stretched and yawned. "Well, Axl-..." "I didn't do fucking anything!" You heard Axl scream from the kitchen. The sounds of his pounding footsteps approached you and Izzy, "And if you tell Duff that-... Oh?" He paused when he saw that it was just the two of you and smirked at you. "Axl I'm gonna grind your balls on the cheese grater, nothing happened between us." You told him firmly, while pointing at him. He held his hands up in surrender with an even smugger look on his face and waltzed back to the kitchen.

In the end, Duff went out to get more food and booze. While he was gone you helped clean the mess Axl made in the kitchen, he someone caught the sink on fire when he wanted to 'cool off' and 'fix' his jet black, hard ashy bacon he conjured up. You also made them new breakfast and taught Axl how to properly cook bacon, he was very reluctant at first and cussed you out, but he soon had a laugh about it. "This is so fucking good." Steven sighed as he inhaled his breakfast "Can't you just stay here forever and make this every morning." He smiled, and his blonde hair bounced like popcorn popping in the microwave. "Yeah, and sleep with Duff every night" Axl's deep voice range over the table. You looked up to see him and Slash giggling with each other like two teenage girls. Izzy had a disgusted look on his face, and Duff started to go a bit red. "That's not what happened. Y/n slept in my room, and I slept on the couch. That's it." Duff cleared his voice, you were grateful, but you knew Axl couldn't help himself. "I need to call my manager. Can I use the phone?" You asked. Duff nodded and you stood up, so did he but he was heading for the bathroom. "That phone and my dick are the only thing that work in this damn house." Axl said as he dumped his dishes in the sink and tried to turn the tap. You rolled your eyes as you punched in the numbers of your manager.

"Hey, I got a band. They're sick. I just know they'll be the biggest thing ever." You spoke, you didn't say this just to make the guys favour you, you already knew that they are in the future. "I trust your intuition. We'll be able to get them a studio in a few months, it's a bit busy here. We might be able to get them into Sound City. How many members?" Your manager spoke. "Five" You answered, "That might take a bit longer then, sorry doll." He spoke. "But don't worry, we'll slot them in soon." "Thanks sir." You responded. "Oh, and your landlord called in 'cause he couldn't get hold of you, I can switch him over for you." He said. "Yes, thank you."

There was a beep, a pause, and a static crack. You heard your landlord cough up flehm, and his cigarette voice rang through the phone. "Who's this again?" He chewed. "Y/n? You called my work today." You answered. "Oh yeah, I had to throw your shit out. I got some high paying tenants coming in, sorry toots." And he hung up the phone.

You stood there with the phone in hand, shocked, your mouth slightly a gape, paralysed. Every emotion was rushing through you, anger was the biggest one. You could see now why there was a large hole in the wall next to phone, you wanted to punch something too. A swarm of fear and panic ran through your head, there was a loud ringing in your ear. You didn't even realise someone was calling your name, you snapped out of it, you felt a tear run down your cheek and wiped it away quickly. "Hey, you okay? What'd they say?" Axl asked as he dried one of the dishes. "Hm? Oh, yeah, he said we could get a studio in a few months. It's gonna be a private one just for you guys so that's why." You explained, trying not to burst into tears and hope they didn't notice. "Cool!" Slash said, as he pumped the air and shoulder bumped with Steven. "Excuse me a minute." You spoke and dashed out the front door. You felt sick, you wanted to throw up, your legs were shaking.

You sank to the steps of the front porch and put your head on your knees. "Shit." You choked back tears, you were thinking of all the things that are probably in some disgusting New York dumpster getting eaten by rats. Your polaroid's of friends, favourite clothes, shit your whole record collection, even the stuff your dead relatives gave you. It was all gone. You breathed hard, you didn't want to cry, you didn't want to panic. You already had enough of it, and it's only been a day. Your heart jumped when you heard the door open and one of the floorboards creak. "Yo, the guys are gonna head to a bar you wanna-... Oh shit." It was Slash. He hissed as he sucked in air, he didn't know what to do. "You okay?" "No, No, I'm fine. I just needed air." You coughed as you got up. He knew something was up, but you weren't budging and he didn't want to step over boundaries. "Hey babes, you going or not?... Shit, you look wrecked." But there was always Axl to step over the line for you. The ginger look confused, at you. Your eyes were red, ready to explode. "Does the place stink that much?" He laughed, but it was just silence. Awkward silence. Slash gave him a look. "Hey, sorry I-... what's wrong?" He put a hand on your shoulder and asked sincerely. "My landlord kicked me out..." You whispered quietly, "All my stuff is gone." You started to tear up thinking about it, and how embarrassing it was that you were about to cry in front of your new band. Slash came in to hug you, his hair covered your face so no one could see the stream of tears rolling down your cheeks. "Hey, hey, it's okay let it out. You can cry." His soft voice was like a lullaby. You rested your head on his chest as you sobbed and hugged him. Axl rubbed your back, making small jokes and flirts trying to lighten your mood. You tried your hardest to stop crying, you sniffed as you lifted your head off Slash's chest. "Thanks guys." You sighed a chuckle while wiping your face. "You can still come with us to the bar, it'll cheer you up. Promise." Axl said craning his neck over your shoulder to look at you. You exhaled and nodded a yes.

You washed your face before going out, and told Axl and Slash not to tell anyone. You just wanted to forget about it and drink. You dressed into a pair of black jeans, docs, a black white tank and your trusty leather jacket. You and the guys were downtown in a dark bar drink at 12 and it felt good honestly. You were sitting in a red leather booth, Axl next to you with his arm on top of the booth behind you, Steven on your other side, Slash, Izzy then Duff at the other end of the booth. You and Duff were on your 5th shot of Vodka, giggling about anything and nothing. You snapped out of it when you felt a tap on your shoulder, you looked to Steven, but it was Axl who had his arm looming over your shoulder from behind the booth seat. He had his hat on with sunglasses so you couldn't make direct eye contact with him but god his eyes were still pulling you in. "I was thinking... Why don't you stay with us?" You nearly spat out the drink that wasn't in your mouth. "Seriously?" "You still got your job don't ya? So, it won't take that long for you to get enough money to get your own place again. Besides, we'll be racking in your money sweetheart." He spoke nonchalantly as he waved his hand around. Did you really want to live in a hell hole with five stinky men? Five hot stinky men. You did have enough money to help them fix some of the things in their place, it would be a fair trade. They were also a joy to be around, and you had to get to know them better one way or another for this band thing to work. "What about the others-...?" You whispered to him, but he started to speak loudly to the rest of the group. "Give a round of applause to our new guest in the Hell House! We'll be eating like kings while she finds a new place." He rose his glass drunkenly, Steven and Duff clapped as Slash whooped. Duff stared at you with a big grin on his face. Either from excitement or alcohol. Izzy didn't look amused, he looked somewhat agitated, and he clutched his glass tighter till his knuckles went white. "Where will I sleep?" You asked the ginger. "You can always sleep with me babe. In more ways than one." His glasses fell to the bridge of his nose, and you could see his blue eyes, he winked and pushed them back up. You rolled your eyes. "It's fine, I'll buy my own mattress. Who knows how many different stains are on yours." You said. He punched your shoulder playfully and chuckled, you did too.

The rest of the day was you and the guys on a bar crawl, you laughed with all of them about different stories they told you, even with Izzy; after a few bottles of wine, he chuckled at your jokes. It was around 9, and everyone was smashed, smashed enough to still walk but not enough to use common sense. It was a miracle that Axl hadn't started a fight or Steven didn't throw up in someone's drink. You and Slash were on your way to pick up more drinks from the bar when some drunk guy came up and started flirting with you, he started coming closer. His breath stunk you physically stepped back and began cussing him out for it, but he didn't stop. Slash slightly stepped Infront of you, he was getting uncomfortable with this stranger's presence too. "Hey man, just back off." Slash warned. "What, and your skinny ass is gonna beat me up?" He drunkenly scoffed. He quickly grabbed your ass, dodging Slash's body in front of yours, Slash didn't have time to respond to the assault. Someone tapped the drunk man's shoulder, "You fucking bitch." It was Axl, he then swiftly sucker punched him square in the face. The man yelled, Axl grabbed his collar and started repeatedly bashed his face with his fist. A crowd started forming and bartenders yelled at him to get out. You and Slash started to pull Axl away from the man, "Ax get off him! You're gonna kill him!" You yelled at him. "That's the point!" He huffed as he was still reaching and grabbing for the man even though he was backing away, nearly unconscious and scared for his life. With the help from other strangers, you got Axl off him and all of you were kicked out. Axl was panting and still in a rage, yelling and screaming that he's going to finish that guy's ass. You finally got him to calm down with the help of Izzy.

The rest of the night Izzy didn't talk, he was furious, furious with you and Axl. Slash and Steven were worried about you and tried to comfort you, but you were okay, just startled. You didn't want to make a big deal of it. Duff felt the tension between Izzy and you, and he tried to explain that it wasn't your fault, but you told Duff to leave it. You didn't know why Izzy was out to get you, but you tried not to think too much about it. When you got home Izzy went straight to bed, so did Slash, Steven did too but only after he threw up in the toilet as you held his hair up. You sat by the small wooden table by the kitchen where you ate this morning and bandaged Axl's knuckles. "This might sting." You warned, as you patted a cotton pad with disinfectant on his knuckle. He hissed and wriggled, you could feel he was still agitated and angry. "That was a nice thing you did back there. Thank you." You told him. His eyes widened, he was surprised. "Next time just don't try kill the man." You said as you wrapped his hand. He gave a breathy laugh and smiled at you. "Nice boys don't play rock 'n doll darling." He scoffed light heartedly. There was pause. You waited for him to realise something. "Shit, that's a great fucking lyric." He got off the table and scavenged for a piece of paper and a pen. You rolled your eyes at him as you packed away the med kit you had in your bag. Axl soon went to bed after he scribbled aggressively and attentively on the paper. It was just you and Duff again. He took out a bottle of vodka from under the couch he had been saving, and you shared it. By the end of it the two of you were out of it, wobbly legs, slurred speech, couldn't think and couldn't speak. You both stumble into Duff's room and as soon as you hit the bed you were gone, Duff giggled and did the same. His one arm laid on your back and both pair of legs were sprawled out on the bed, and his feet dangling off the side of the bed. Soft snores were heard from the two of you, and loud ones from Slash's room as the whole house slept.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 5 thoughts

it’s been a few days. and you KNOW what i’m craving!!! 

ohhhh this episode… so i’ve heard about this one before. specifically it was brought up a lot when i voiced my complaints with small potatoes, with a lot of commenters comparing it to this episode. so that doesn’t fill me with a sense of joy and anticipation.

well, i had a nice day. the only way out is through. let’s see if this makes me as mad as small potatoes, shall we?

(author's note: i have many, many questions. i mean i can tell that this was an homage to old spooky movies but beyond that: huh?)

why now in the series? who came up with this? why do multiple episodes explore the concept of forced impregnation as something silly and harmless? why did the agents look so good in black and white? have they danced together before? do you believe in life after love?

let us take it from the top.

we begin with a comic book, it seems? inside is a black and white scene. is this whole episode in black and white? i looked at the image for the episode and it was black and white, too

this guy izzy is trying to go to a comic book convention, but his mom said she’ll kick him out. damn. being a nerd is hard. is this taking place in the distant past or something? well, the cars look older too.

(it was not taking place in the distant past... also, i thought izzy's mom, mrs. berkowitz, was mean at first because she joked about kicking him out, but she was actually the best character in this episode) 

later that night we see their home, including a photo of izzy with a pig, but she’s watching jerry springer. which seems anachronistic to the black and white setting. it’s an episode about a hairy baby. while the windows are being covered up with a sort of striped tent??? and something is smoking. 

enter cher???? no, enter someone else as cher plays. i do like when they put music in the episodes.

mom is coughing while a man with two faces comes to get her???

i mean, okay, the song slaps. i am unfamiliar with the work of cher and i was jamming out to it, even if i had no idea what was really going on except that maybe izzy made a frankenstein dupe in a comic, and it somehow came to life and hurt his mom. sure. why not?

the intro was shortened... you still can’t fool me.

the whole episode is in black and white????

OH GOD. this lady felt a presence in the room, woke up three days later and was pregnant??? with izzy??? 

so frankenstein is the father????? and it happened again??? and she heard cher when it went down??? man. man what.

scully is reading this letter… LMAO mulder was mentioned on the jerry springer show episode about the wolf baby, which is how she found him <- BAHAHA this cannot be good for his covert work!!!! 

her name is mrs. berkowitz and she is pouring our agents a soda as they enter her home. it is very kind to offer them caffeine as they rely so heavily upon it. and she wants to know about the wolf baby. it feels very weird to hear mulder do the medical talking.

WHAT THE HELL??? she is somehow pregnant again despite having a tubal ligation…. hey what. how is she not losing her mind? scully looks utterly gagged. 

the camera work here is so different, there are these intense closeups on the character with a sort of fisheye effect, it's both off-putting and cool

mrs. berkowitz says mulder knows what is happening, but he says he’s not even sure if he believes in aliens anymore??? he has to be lying. or does he actually believe that everything was faked as put forth by the redux trilogy? i thought he saw through that when he told CSM to go fuck off. also, i KNOW he is not dead.

sorry, but scully looks so good in black and white and a pinstriped suit. ohhhh my god.

anyway, scully says hmm, your description of the intruder is funny... because it MATCHES THIS COMIC BOOK CHARACTER FROM IZZY’S ROOM!!

izzy created that comic book character… so the plot is thickening??? 

enter izzy. we must confront him with this fact. he says that he’s seen “the great mutato” too, and that plenty of people have!! is he hanging in the neighborhood?? doing evil activities??? he's like, a real guy? and not some mysterious intruder???

cut to izzy outside with a peanut butter sandwich, luring in the beast

“i think what we’re seeing here is an example of a culture for whom daytime talk shows and tabloid headlines have become a reality against which they measure their lives- a culture so… so obsessed by the media and a chance for self-dramatization that they’ll do anything in order to gain a spotlight” (twirling my hair... kicking my feet a little... hey scully...)

“i am alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype” <- YEAH YOU TELL HER MULDER ‼️

they’re fighting about if this is possible or not and frankly i think they should just kiss about it 

(about the rumors, he says:) “but nonetheless unverifiable, and therefore true in the sense that they’re believed to be true” hey. when they talk all academic?? i'm swooning.

and they’re soooo close as they're fighting over all of this <3

“is there anything that you don’t believe in, mulder?” <- i was really looking forward to hearing him answer that, but no!! a distant moaning cut him off!!

scully….. oh my god…….. nothing to note here in terms of plot, she’s just pretty

the great mutato EMERGES for his sandwich!! and mulder is in trackstar mode absolutely SPRINTING, coat billowing behind him as thunder crackles and his long long legs carry him into the woods. and scully is fast too, but he is so much faster it’s actually funny. that man was made to run. absolute horse DNA

oooooo spoooooky, mulder is running after the great mutato into the woods with scully not too far behind, and they can’t find him!!

BAHAHA the old school movie effects are kinda endearing. mulder pointing “there!” and then a dramatic crash of thunder revealing a silhouette… yeah, i giggled 

i’m not well versed enough in old movies to understand all of these references, but i bet they had the horror girlies losing their minds 

but it’s just some guy walking a pig?? telling them to gtfo. well!

guy with pig sends them to his son???? who i later learned is named dr. pollidori. and who has a newspaper article about some experiment he did. this guy is looking like a stereotypical mad scientist. “my father is a simpleton farmer. he understands nothing of my scientific achievements” <- okay nerd, let’s not get in a science-off with dr. scully… also, let's not be mean to your dad!!

this mad scientist dr. pollidori says he is going to remembered for his incredible discovery of the “homeotic hox gene” and i hope he is taken down by scully. i hope she disproves every single thing he says. and then spits on him. fuck this guy for real.

i paused to write that down and she’s smiling at mulder behind this evil doctor’s shoulders :,)

mad scientist dr. pollidori tries to pull the whole “oh, let’s have scully explain my incredibly advanced research” card, further proving his evil tendencies, and she says it has something to do with growth. which is more than i could say.

he says he has to leave to go to an important international talk and she hits him with “sir, unless you want your scientific achievements to end up as a footnote on the jerry springer show, i suggest that you make the time” <- DAMN, GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME!!! i love when she puts people in their place.

i love this sort of "fishbowl/actors looking right into the camera" angle, because they look so cool standing like that. and i want to draw them like this, but i can’t draw. so i will just admire them instead. yeahhhh. they look cool as hell.

so it seems that what this mad scientist fellow dr. pollidori does is torture fruit flies and act mysterious? while thunder crashes about. kind of a sick gig aside, from the fly torture, but i could be mysterious and be way nicer. i could be a friendly mad scientist. i know a few of those, and they’re fascinating people!

so he fucked up some fruit flies and gave them legs in their mouths. that is rude as hell.

mulder asks “why would you do that?” (we were all thinking it) and mad scientist dr. pollidori says “because i can” with another crash of thunder. throw him to the dungeons at once!!! 

dr. pollidori says "it" (editing genes to put legs in mouths) could theoretically be done in humans. scully tries to assure mulder this really isn’t the case, and it’s not quite that easy, but mulder isn’t so sure

“given the power, who could resist to create life in his own image?”, mulder asks <- honey, you just need a cat. you’re not ready for a child yet. i know you want one so badly, but you sleep on the couch. it's just not the right time.

ohhh she got him with just that LMAOOOO “we already have that ability, mulder; it’s called procreation” <- i am very attuned to scully, as you can clearly tell by me anticipating that line

she says she’s going to really see if mrs. berkowitz is pregnant tomorrow... i did not know that this was a service scully could provide. but i guess i should have assumed.

dr. pollidori has a wife??? her name is elizabeth. she wants to talk to him about children?????? but he says “you know how i feel about children” okay well elizabeth seems too good for you anyway, so??

“what happened to our dream?” “i think that’s your dream” <- BABE LEAVE HIM!!! FUCK THE MAILMAN!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

everything is so incredibly 1950’s coded in this scene, down to her little apron

i’m picking up a sword for elizabeth, why are you being so mean to her, mad scientist dr. pollidori!!!!!!!!!!! NO, SHE’S CRYING!!!!!!!!! DIVORCE, BABES, DIVORCE!!

but something is at the window?? NO!! STAY AWAY FROM HER, GREAT MUTATO, SHE’S HAD ENOUGH!!

diner time with the agents. seems the whole town is there and they are smiling at them. in an unsettling manner. oh lord, why is MULDER so good looking in black and white too?? someone put me down like a rabid dog.

awww, scully finds a newspaper and it mentions their FBI stuff… who snitched on them!!! :(

mulder is presented with an IMMENSE amount of food (he only wanted coffee!) on behalf of JJ (that’s with two J's), and i still can’t figure out the vibe here, because on one hand we’ve got spooky silly mad scientist dr. pollidori, and on the other hand we have a rapist monster so. like?? hey???

some reporter character next to mulder is writing down everything he says and does. and this waitress gets right in his face to ask if jerry springer is coming to town. i’m uncomfy, you’re uncomfy, we’re all uncomfy.

so the newspaper article had everything they said last night word for word!!! who was sneaking around?? other than that person who was just sneaking over mulder’s shoulder, but we had not seen before??

izzy is being questioned for potential recording of their conversation and they’re sticking their heads in one at a time LMAOOOO. mrs. berkowitz has had ENOUGH of izzy's shenanigans!

he pulls out a tape recorder, and their whole conversation from the night before was on there!!! and then mulder rewinds, and they hear the cher song???? what!!! how is this connected??? and they hear a voice singing along!!! it’s the great mutato!!! he wasn't even there when that happened!!!

SO WHO WAS RECORDING EVERYTHING?????

the great mutato is dancing around in the doctor’s house!!!!!

LMAOOOOO mulder’s spouting frankenstein analysis in relation to this case (hey. call me btw) and scully hits him with the “mulder, i’m alarmed you would reduce this man to a literary stereotype” <- yeah the roasting should be mutual

he asks who else would go to such lengths to get mrs. berkowitz pregnant, and she’s looking around as if she has to gently break the news to him that "well, mulder, certain men love to hurt women", etc etc

scully is reading mrs. berkowitz’s file as they drive off, and everything DOES look true, both the tubal ligation and the pregnancy!!! when mulder starts driving the car backwards???

WE GET ANOTHER CHER SONG MOMENT as they run into a house that is covered with a tent!!! like we saw before at the very beginning with mrs. berkowitz!!! i think it’s dr. pollidori's house!!! and it’s filled with smoke!!! 

the girls (the agents) are breaking in!!! have we considered that scully should get out of here considering what happened last time we saw this exact scenario go down????? she’s coughing!!!!

mulder emerges from nearby, but nooooo!! they both collapse!!!!!! and the pig guy/dr. pollidori's father from before has a gas mask and says there ain’t no monster!!! HUH??

dr. pollidori comes back to his home a few days later, and poor mulder and scully and elizabeth are on the floor in a heap, looking terribly hung over from this gassing. they must have been out for like three days!!!

mulder says out loud that he thinks that he thinks dr. pollidori's wife elizabeth was impregnated, which is crazy to say btw, but elizabeth seems deeply excited at the fact. and then he tries to stand up and confront dr. pollidori, but he crashes into some stuff. and people are so right, mulder IS my baby girl. 

scully, meanwhile, is explaining that she thinks this is all some big hoax.

but mulder!!! he finds a frying pan!! and mrs. berkowitz also had her frying pans “violated”, in his words!!

his tie is all messy and he’s stumbling around. we are given a brief insight into what drunk mulder must appear like. but a principled man, he has generally sworn off alcohol, so this is all we can use to imagine how such a sight would appear.

when they pull out an empty jar of peanut butter like izzy used to summon the great mutato, he proclaims that he found his smoking gun. lmao

IT’S THE DOCTOR'S DAD?????? THE ONE WHO WAS WALKING THE PIG EARLIER??? HE’S BRINGING THE MUTATO SANDWICHES AND CALLS HIM "SON"??? please put your son on a leash sir, because he is clearly committing crimes

ohhh confrontation time between dr. pollidori and his father…. OHHHH choking is going on. the dad said he did "it" because he can….. terrible reasoning to make a guy, btw

mulder is back in the diner, and now everyone is avoiding his gaze, throwing things at him, trying to trip him!!! JJ spits on his plate!!! he still looks good as hell though. 

THEY POUR THE COFFEE RIGHT IN HIS LAP???? RUDE AF????

now the newspaper is publishing that the agents think the monster is a hoax, which i guess explains his treatment. so do the townspeople LIKE the monster, then??? and so denying him is to deny what makes them unique? but hold onto that thought, because now everyone is running outside!!!!

THE POLICE HAVE IZZY???? he has a mask on!!! the cop says they've caught their monster. a cosplay mask doesn’t make him a monster, you utter fools. mrs. berkowitz is a good mom though; she says she WILL throw hands with the whole town for judging her boy, and i respect that 

oh, scully with the big reveal: the stuff on the frying pan they found at the doctor's house is used to knock out farm animals???? and farmers have to be on a register to use it!! which leads them to dr. pollidori's father aka the guy who walked his pig!!!!

the great mutato finds his father dead in the kitchen and mourns him, bringing him into the barn where he sobs and digs him a grave. it is sad. but. he still did those terrible things to mrs. berkowitz and elizabeth, so i'm not sure how bad i'm supposed to feel.

so the agents arrive, while it seems he is hiding up in the rafters. they find a puck of that weird gas that knocks you out, and mulder says he thinks they’re too late as they find the freshly dug grave

OHHH they hear a creaking and he WHIPS out his gun, but does this thing where he backs up so he is RIGHT in front of scully… wait, i need to watch that again. yeah, it was good. 

it’s the journalist person??? from before at the diner?? here to get a good scoop on the murder!!!!

but now the angry townspeople are arriving!!! lead by dr. pollidori! it’s very much giving gaston in beauty in the beast with the flaming torches. well. they’re going after him. while our agents are in the rain. probably still enduring a crazy chemical hangover. 

NOOOO!!!! scully turns around and sees the mutato!!! wow, she actually saw the creature for once lmao. that never seemed to happen in the early seasons

so they go in the cellar after the mutato and find a shrine to CHER NOW HOLD ON. HOLD ON. i have to pause and laugh. WHAT THE HELL. LMAOOOO

at least he has taste, i guess??

they find him in the corner and tell him to come out. scully seems deeply compassionate.

meanwhile, the barn is fully on fire as the journalist tries to write everything down. who will think of the sheep and pigs??? and even the chickens???

they emerge from the cellar but nooo, the journalist sees them!!! and the townspeople are invading!!!

the doctor says to let him go or they’ll burn him out. and he reveals to the crowd it was his FATHER who created him!!

mulder holds up a finger to wordlessly say “WATCH IT, WISE GUY” while the mutato is trying to say something. oh he can fully talk. “i have never acted to harm another soul” <- BUDDY. BUDDY WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING TO THOSE WOMEN????????

he’s monologing now, explaining he was the product of the doctor’s experiments. but his father rescued and loved him. and he tried to learn the science to make him a friend. also a horse is listening to all of this btw.

dr. pollidori's calls mutato a mistake which is rude as hell. 

however, if i’m supposed to feel bad for this guy for saying sorry after being caught raping women, i’m not gonna 💀 it sucks that he was abandoned and unloved, but we still need to have ethics in our conduct

scully looks deeply upset though.

he says he learned so much about humanity, and about love; “cher loved that boy so much” <- well. yeah. i laughed.

izzy declares that the great mutato is no monster!!!! i guess that he is his father, so he might be a bit biased there.

mulder is troubled by the fact that unlike in the original book of frankenstein, this monster did not escape to look for a bride! he wants to speak to the writers

“there’s not gonna be any bride, mulder. not in this story” “well then where’s the writer? i want to speak to the writer” <- LMAOOO why did this feel like a dig at the MSR shippers, i'm HOWLING

we end with more cher as cars drive down the road. AND THE AGENTS HAVE THE GREAT MUTATO IN THEIR CAR??? he’s just chilling in the back.

AND THEY TAKE HIM TO A CHER CONCERT??? OR IMPERSONATOR??? OR SOMETHING!?? AND HE’S LOSING HIS MIND?? WHILE IZZY AND THE AGENTS WATCH???

AND THEN WE SEE THE GREAT MUTATO BABIES ON JERRY SPRINGER and when he asks if the babies are hard to love due to their two faces (rude??) mrs. berkowitz says “what’s not to love?” <- okay queen!!!! she may have gone through a lot, but damn she loves her babies!!!

and then… mulder takes scully, and they dance??? they dance??? i knew there was a dance scene actually because i had seen in mentioned before, but i am seeing this??? with my eyes???? oh my god???

they love each other man... and maybe that’s romantic or maybe they’re best friends and maybe it's both or some secret third thing, but that is LOVE!!!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!!!

and then izzy turns it into a comic book??

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH LMAOOOOO

guys please be kind to me if you understood this because i did not. i’m half laughing and half soooo confused

????? man, hold on

again, i see the similarities to small potatoes as has been mentioned before. and we’re supposed to just feel bad for the great mutato and wave off the rape. which doesn’t fly for me. and also why have there been two episodes with this theme now. what was chris carter smoking? and can we get him a different strain? 

tbh, i really haven’t listened to cher before but if nothing else this episode put me onto her?? i guess??

i don’t have that same visceral sick feeling that i had from small potatoes, which i take is because we did not see scully as the victim of the violence this time around, but still. not great. 

it felt like a huge inside joke i’m not in on. so i’m confused. and i appreciate that this is referencing old movie tropes, but that doesn’t mean i understand them any better, you know?

but they danced :( they danced :(

i waited two days before writing this up to try and let some time pass and hopefully make my perceptions a bit clearer, but i don't think it worked as well as i had hoped. this has to be a record for most question marks per episode writeup. so i am going to NEED to know what the wider community thinks of this episode. and also what you, the person reading, thinks of this episode. is this a cult classic? am i simply too young to understand the references? or is there truly nothing to get and the episode is just Like That for some reason?

i was, all in the span of 40-ish minutes, amused, disgusted, enamored, and baffled. with different percentages of each.

conclusion: mrs. berkowitz is real as hell, mulder and scully look AMAZING in black and white, and i do not forgive the great mutato. also they danced, btw. not sure if you caught that.

however, if i may venture a guess: this episode and the last were more silly than usual, and i appreciate that. but, i actually do sort of know what happens in the next two, in a "describe it in one sentence" kind of way, because before i decided to watch this show i googled it to see what it was about... and i came across this plot point. and maybe they decided to do something a bit more light-hearted before coming in with the emotional devastation. although, that did not stop them last season, so who knows?

i am excited to watch the next two.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Hello I have prompt aka one of my obsessions in your ask box:

Magnus meeting Izzy shy older brother after months of hearing about him and getting instant whiplash cause he hot af & freaky af 😬

Sorry this took a while shshshsh I’m writing like 2 words a day.

Also, song playing in the club is Don’t Go Insane by DPR Ian (who may or may not be a potential Magnus fancast? 👀)

Read on Ao3

***

Isabelle had lied to him.

Sure, she’d talked to him for ages during lunch and coffee breaks at work about how sweet and cool and handsome her brother was, and also about how he always got all shy and blushy around the boys he liked, and dropped maybe a thousand hints about how Magnus and the mystery brother would make a very very good couple.

And now that he’s seen the guy in person - at Isabelle’s birthday party in a downtown club - Magnus can confidently say that Isabelle lied.

Because nothing could prepare for just how fucking hot he was.

Magnus had arrived a little early - just before the celebrations started but just in time to find Isabelle waiting right outside the club for her brother. He decided to wait along with her, making idle talk, until Isabelle’s eyes brightened at the sight of something and she threw out a hand, waving excitedly.

“There he is!”

Magnus turned to look, and was greeted by the sight of a heavy Zero motorcycle zipping past at full speed before it made an impressive u-turn in the narrow street, screeching against the asphalt, and came to a stop in front of the club.

The driver pulled off his helmet, giving his head a little shake to tame his messy hair, and Magnus’s world stopped spinning for a moment because holy hell was he gorgeous.

A jawline that could cut glass, dark hair had stayed messy even after he’d run a gloved hand through it, and supple lips that curled up into a gorgeous fucking grin as he looked at his sister.

“Hey Izzy,” he said as he dismounted the bike and caught an overexcited Isabelle who’d run straight to her brother in a hug. “Happy birthday, you little minx.”

Magnus watched on, as he pulled away from Isabelle and, as she continued to chat away, brought one hand up to his mouth, catching the strap around the wrist with his teeth and pulling it open. He didn't stop there, though. His teeth were catching on to the very tip of one of the fingers now, pulling the glove off in one fell swoop.

Oh my poor little heart.

Magnus watched him repeat the operation with this other leather glove, every single brain cell chanting hot hot hot hot hot hot, really, who could blame him when there was this extremely hot, leather-clad bike-riding beauty in front of him?

“-Magnus?”

Magnus snapped back to reality, where he was now face to face with Isabelle and her brother. Isabelle was looking rather smug, as if she could read Magnus’s mind.

“Magnus,” she continued casually, “This is my brother Alec.”

“Nice to meet you,” Alec said, holding out a hand. Magnus shook it, trying not to think of how warm Alec’s hand was. “Izzy has told me a lot about you.”

“Did she now?” Magnus's gaze slanted over to Isabelle, who was still looking smug. “All good things, I hope.”

“Definitely all good things,” Alec grinned.

They headed indoors, where Magnus met the others - her boyfriend Simon, her adopted brother, Jace, his girlfriend Clary, who was also a childhood friend of Simon. Rounds of shots were ordered, and they chattered amongst themselves. Magnus had been worried about feeling left out, but Alec was sitting right next to him, and occasionally turned to Magnus to make idle talk. They’d talked so far about their hobbies and work, and Magnus’s cat, and Alec’s bike, complete with pictures of course.

Now, after the fifth round of shots, Alec got up on his feet, and held out a hand to Magnus. “Wanna dance?”

Magnus blinked, brain going blank in surprise, but his hand thankfully moved on its own to take Alec’s.

“Sure,” he said lightly.

Alec dragged him to the dance door, a sort of vindictive smile on his face as he interlaced his hands behind Magnus’s neck and pulled him close. His fingers were digging into the slightly overgrown hair of Magnus’s undercut, and he briefly forgot how to breathe.

“I don’t know how to dance,” Alec said, grinning. “I just wanted to get you alone.”

Something like a record scratch sounded in Magnus’s head. They were slightly swaying anyway, a contrast to the rather energetic song playing on the club’s loudspeakers.

“Oh?” Magnus raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. “And to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“You’re just…” Alec giggled. “So handsome. You’re even more handsome in person than the pictures Izzy showed me.”

“Isabelle dearest showed you pictures, huh?” Magnus mentally wondered if he needed to thank Isabelle or be annoyed with her. He definitely needed to demand to be shown whatever pictures she’d shown her brother.

“Mmhmm,” Alec grinned a little. His cheeks were a little flushed, courtesy of the alcohol in his system.

The song shifted a little, going from electric vocals to a deep bass guitar, and Alec gasped a little. He pulled away from Magnus, poking him in the chest with a finger as he stepped backward, a glint in his eyes as they met Magnus’s.

“Watch me, okay?” He practically purred, and it took Magnus a moment to realise that the low, shaky breaths he was hearing weren’t from himself or Alec but from the song itself. Alec stood in front of him, eyes gleaming, one hand resting in his hair while the other had a thumb hooked into a belt loop on his pants. 

The beat dropped, and Magnus’s jaw nearly dropped as Alec leant backwards, grinning madly as he thrust his hips in tune with the beat. Alec straightened, only to grab Magnus’s hand and bow over backwards, the taut tension between their hands the only thing keeping him from falling over to the floor.

So, yes, Isabelle lied to him about her brother’s true colours. But watching Alec like this, all inhibitions gone, sweat lining his face and the arched column of his neck, the t-shirt he wore under his leather jacket rising up just the littlest bit to reveal a sliver of skin, teeth biting into his lower lip as his hips swung up and down… he could hardly say he minded.

When the beat subsided and Alec finally pulled himself back up - all thanks to his core and no thanks to Magnus, he asked,

“I thought you didn’t know how to dance?”

“That was the only move I know.” Alec winked. “Among maybe five others. I’ll show them to you when the music wills it.”

Magnus laughed. “You really are something, Alexander.”

Alec grinned, pleased.

He sidled up closer to Magnus. “How about we sneak out of here and go for a ride on my bike? Or maybe a different type of ride?”

Alec winked at him. Magnus laughed again.

“We’ll get to it all once you’re sober, Alexander.” He pulled Alec by an arm around his waist. “We’ll get to it all.”